#my friend was gonna be teaching major but switched
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Useless: Part 3
Claudia Pina x reader
Part 3 (and final part) to useless
Find Part 1 and part 2 here
Masterlist
Claudia is bored due to her injury, you struggle to keep her entertained
It had now been a week since Claudia’s injury. Things had definitely started to improve since your talk a few days ago. Your girlfriend was clearly still feeling down but now it was in a way that was more expected given her injury. The focal point of her frustration was now her boredom. Unable to navigate without crutches and still advised to be resting, she was yet to leave the apartment.
Claudia was getting more and more restless by the minute. All of her favorite things involved movement- football, working out, partying with her friends, exploring with you. Your girlfriend wasn’t exactly known for being still. That’s part of what had originally drawn you to Claudia- how she was always bouncing around and full of energy. The new limitations on her were providing both a new challenge.
The second you walked in from training you were greeted by your girlfriend groaning dramatically on the couch. “Amooorrrrr,” you chuckled lightly as you made your way over to sit by her. As soon as you sat down, she laid her head across your lap, continuing her dramatics. “I’m boooorrrreeedd. Please tell me you brought me something to do,” Claudia pleaded with you even though it was clear you had come home empty handed.
“Sorry to disappoint, my love,” you ran your hand through her hair as you spoke, “just me today.” You noticed Claudia’s face change into a suggestive smirk. All you could do was blush and give her a playful eye roll, knowing that what she was hoping for wouldn’t be possible with her current lack of mobility.
“Mmm, I like seeing you blush because of me, baby,” she mumbled into your skin as she pressed a lingering kiss into your hip.
“Clau, that’s not gonna happen today and you know it.” Your girlfriend gave you another groan, this time accompanied by a major pout. All you could do was smile at your girlfriend, seeing her dimples poking through even though she was pouting at you. “But we can do anything else you want? We could watch a movie?”
“Nooo, I’ve been doing that all day,” this time she had punctuated her sentence with an equally dramatic sigh.
You tried offering your girlfriend some more suggestions, “what about a game of FIFA?” This got her attention as rarely played video games. After a few seconds of contemplation, Claudia took you up on your offer. You got it all set up and got each of you a controller as she got better settled into the couch.
The pair of you happily settled into the game. For a while she had settled on trying to help you improve your playing. You definitely couldn’t complain about how your girlfriend would hold your hands in her’s, teaching you all the little tricks to the game that came naturally to her. When she got tired of helping you, the two of you switched to playing against each other. Despite her help, you still were no match for Claudia. It didn’t take long before she started getting bored of how easily she was beating you. After three times, she returned back to her whining at you, “amorrrr, this isn’t fun anymore.”
You felt terrible for her. It was clear how much she was struggling with being stuck at home, but it’s also what the doctor had recommended. Especially given that it had only been a week, you didn’t feel comfortable going against that yet. “I’m sorry, Clau. I wish I knew how to help you,” you let out a heavy sigh, looking to her in hopes she’d give you any sort of lead on what could help her.
“The girls are going out tonight…” she looked at you hesitantly, already knowing what you were gonna say. “What if we just went for a little bit? It wouldn’t have to be long! And I wouldn’t drink or anything! I just need something other than this stupid couch.” You felt terrible, watching as your girlfriend pleaded with you. It broke your heart knowing that going out tonight was a terrible idea. You had already heard the girls planning their night and you knew that the club they were going to was going to be crazy. It was well known for being packed with people, an environment that would be nearly impossible for your girlfriend to navigate on her crutches.
“Clau,” you sighed, stroking her face gently with your hand. “Do you know where it is they’re going tonight?” the brunette shook her head tentatively, knowing this couldn’t be going in the direction she was hoping for. “Well I do. And it’s really not a good idea. I’m sorry, mi amor. I wish I had another answer for you.”
Her face fell even though you knew she understood. She nodded as she collapsed against you, falling into your arms. As much as it hurt you to see the one you loved in so much pain, you appreciated her newfound ability to express her emotions more openly with you. All you could do right now was hold her tightly and reassure her that this wouldn’t last much longer. After it had been a while of Claudia laying with you, you realized she was sleeping lightly in your arms. It seemed like a good idea to let her sleep. At the very least, it would pass the time while you came up with some ideas to make your girlfriend feel better..
After lots of thinking and texts with the girls, you had landed on the perfect plan. You had decided that if you couldn’t bring your girlfriend to the party, you’d bring the party to her. Between Mapi, Patri, and Alexia, you had arranged jobs for everyone in order to essentially arrange a surprise party for someone who wouldn’t be leaving your house.
Claudia had woken up late in the afternoon, hungry of course. Your latest job was to convince her to put off supper, knowing that the girls would be arriving with food soon. “Amor, maybe you’d feel better if you changed clothes?” You knew that she’d be much more appreciative of everyone coming over if she looked more like herself.
“Whyyyy?” she got back to her slightly whiny and pouty mood, reminded of how little she could do. “It’s so late in the day I don’t see why I should get dressed now? I just want to eat, mi amor.” Your girlfriend looked at you longingly, giving you puppy-dog eyes to get you on her side.
“I’ll get you food soon I promise. Just please trust me, Clau? I really think you’ll feel better,” now you were giving her the same puppy dog eyes, trying the same tactic back on her. It seemed to work as she gave in, letting you pick her up in your arms, carrying her to the bedroom. You set your girlfriend gently on the bed, while you went to pick out a fresh set of clothes.
With Claudia’s guidance, you had grabbed her a plain black t-shirt and a pair of black cargo pants. You knew she needed to be comfortable but would also appreciate looking a little better than she had the past week. She moved to sit on the edge of your bed so you were able to help her get changed. You pulled her t-shirt over her head gently, watching as a smirk grew on her face. It put your mind at ease, knowing that your girlfriend's typical suggestive attitude hadn’t yet disappeared. “Don’t even think about it, mi amor,” you warned her jokingly, making sure she didn’t get her hopes up. All you got in return was a light glare as you pulled the clean shirt on for her. The situation repeated as you carefully changed her pants, working gently past her boot. Changing clothes did seem to put her in a slightly better mood, looking and feeling a little more herself. She pulled out her messy ponytail and handed it to you, silently asking you to redo it for her, which you happily complied with.
Now that she was looking and feeling better, you picked her your girlfriend once again and carried her into the kitchen, setting her on a chair at your kitchen table. Right on time, you heard a knock at the door before Mapi let herself in, Ingrid in tow. In her hands was a bag of takeout from Claudia’s favorite restaurant. You had arranged for some of your closest friends to come eat with you before more of the girls came over to hang out later.
Confusion was clear on your girlfriend's face as she saw who had arrived, “Mapi? Ingrid? What are you guys doing here?” She looked between the two of them for answers before landing on you as well.
Finally, Ingrid decided to be the one to answer her, “we heard you could use some company, so we brought dinner.” You, Ingrid, and Mapi were all smirking, happy that the first part of your surprise had worked. Claudia looked over to you, knowing you were behind this. Her face was full of appreciation for how you had arranged this.
Just as Mapi started getting the food out, Patri and Alexia arrived together. Patri walked in greeting everyone loudly, knowing that it was exactly what her injured friend would want. “Hola, mi amigas!” Claudia’s face lit up upon seeing her two best friends walking through the door, seemingly understanding what was now happening. Patri went straight to her best friend, giving her a tight squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head.
Alexia went to you, her arms carrying bags full of a variety of alcohol. Her job was to bring things for the party later tonight and she seemed to have taken that job quite seriously. You put it all away, thanking her quietly while Patri caught up with your girlfriend. “Pina must be doing better now, si?” the Catalan questioned you while the others were distracted in conversation.
You nodded in response, “much better, just getting tired of not being able to do much.”
Alexia nodded understandingly, having recently spent plenty of time injured as well. “This will help,” she assured you. “You know her well, this will be perfect for her,” she gave you a small hug before the two of you began unboxing the food for everyone. While the six of you ate, you happily remained somewhat quiet, taking in the conversations among the rest of the group. Everyone was catching up with Claudia who was the most talkative you’d seen her all week. Watching her was a glimpse of her normal, energetic self and you just wanted to appreciate it while you could.
You let your girlfriend continue to get lost in conversation with Patri and Mapi while the rest of you started cleaning up the dishes. More of the girls would start arriving soon and you wanted to be ready. Ingrid went to your living room, cleaning up any of the remnants of the last week that Claudia had spent on the couch. Alexia started making some drinks so the party could start as soon as the others arrived. The captain had given everyone strict orders that they couldn’t stay over too late as Claudia would need the rest. She made sure everyone would be ready to start the night early, as soon as they arrived, to accommodate Claudia’s earlier than usual bedtime. As much as she knew she wouldn’t be drinking, she didn’t mind being the one in charge of the drinks. The captain liked being able to watch over everyone and make sure everyone was being safe, not like she had to worry much being in your shared apartment rather than a rowdy nightclub.
As expected, more teammates started to arrive soon after dinner. First it was Lucy and Ona, followed closely by Aitana, Kiera, and Mariona. Every time another teammate walked it, Claudia looked just as surprised as she had the last time. She would always follow the surprise by confusion, and then immediately look to you in thanks. It had not been long before most of the team had arrived, turning your apartment into a mini-nightclub. There were strobe lights going in your living room, drinks were flowing, and music was blasting (all from a playlist of Claudia’s favorites, of course).
It was clear how much your girlfriend was enjoying this when you walked into your living room and saw her on Lucy’s back, as the older girl jumped around with her. Again, you let her have her space, enjoying watching how she was having the most fun she’d had all week. Her energy was back, and she was enjoying one of her favorite ways to let loose and relax. Both of you had had a couple drinks but were far from drunk. You each needed to relax a bit while still being somewhat careful of your broken girlfriend. Everytime you spotted Claudia, she seemed to be on someone else’s back, yelling directions in their ear on where she wanted them to take her.
Eventually, you had been distracted, dancing with Kiera and Aitana, enjoying some time with your own friends, when Patri made her way to you. Claudia was on her back of course, very giggly, and reaching out for you. “(Y/n/n)! Will you hold me? I haven’t seen you all night!” She fake pouted at you while Patri carefully switched her to your back. “I missed you!!” she peppered the side of your face with kisses as she basically yelled to be heard.
“Come find me if your back needs a break from her! I’ll be in the kitchen!” you nodded to Patri appreciatively, thankful for how she was supporting you as well as her best friend.
Claudia wrapped her arms around your neck tightly, giving you a tight hug from her spot on your back. “Thank you, mi amor. I think I really needed this.”
You only responded by turning your head, giving her lips a quick kiss, “Anything for you, Claudia. Always.”
The two of you continued to dance, as well as you could with her on your back, until Alexia started to send people home. As much as everyone could’ve gone longer, Claudia could not. Normally she’d be the first to be out all night, but after being on the couch all week, this small amount of action really exhausted her. The two of you thanked everyone for coming as the small crowd slowly dissipated. Eventually you were left with the group of six of you that had eaten dinner together. The group cleaned up the place, returning it from being ‘nightclub’ to being your home again. Neither you nor Claudia could thank them enough. They had been lifesavers for you. Helping arrange this entire thing just to help make your girlfriend feel better. It was exactly what Claudia needed too. She thrived on socialization and valued her friends more than anything. This was her way of relaxing and she was finally able to do it.
Once everything had left, it was just the two of you, and a peaceful silence. You carried her into your bedroom, bridal style, and laid her gently on your bed, similar to how you had done it earlier in the day. You changed both of you into something more comfortable to sleep in, a big t-shirt with just underwear on the bottom. It was clear she was tired when there were no suggestive comments at you changing her clothes. You both got ready for bed, exhausted from the excitement. Immediately Claudia curled into your side, like she often did now. “Bebita, I don’t deserve you,” she spoke quietly, tired yet still awake.
“Yes you do, I promise,” it was all you could respond because it was true. You knew that if the roles were reversed, she would do the exact same thing.
“I don’t know how you can put up with me after I shut you out a few days ago. I can’t believe you did all this for me after I acted like that.”
Your heart broke once again, hearing how the love of your life didn’t think she deserved you. “Claudia, I love you. Always. Even if you try to push me away. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. I’m still gonna do whatever I can to help you and right now, that means throwing you a party.”
“Mi amor, I truly cannot thank you enough. You made today a lot less depressing. I love you.” She somehow managed to snuggle into you even deeper than before, although you didn’t mind one bit. You appreciated the closeness and affection she was unable to show you earlier in the week.
“I love you, Claudia. Always.” you gave her a tight squeeze in return, trying to force her to feel you love.
As tired as you both were, Claudia couldn’t quite suppress the energy she had gotten from being with her friends all night. You knew her well enough to know she’d be talking about it some as you both drifted off to sleep. “Did you hear about how Mapi wants a motorcycle?” she giggled to herself, knowing you were already half asleep. “I think Ingrid actually would kill her. She looked like she might just from talking about it today.” Your girlfriend continued to chat, mostly to herself, “I could see that though and…” She drifted into sleep shortly after you, her bubbly words turning to incoherent mumbling before coming to a stop as the two of you slept deeply in each other's arms. You both were filled with more love for each other than ever before, knowing you would go to the ends of the earth to make each other happy.
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Feedback and requests are always welcome! :)
#barca femeni#barcelona femeni#fcb femini#woso imagines#woso one shot#woso#claudia pina#mapi leon#claudia pina imagine#espwnt x reader#claudia pina x reader#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso soccer#woso blurbs#Alexia putellas#ingrid engen#patri guijarro#wosoreading24/7#wosoreadingclaudia
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Hii!! After mizu graduates college, what type of job do you think she'd have? Would it have to do with sports or maybe something way different? (I absolutely love your writing and headcanons !! 🩷🩷)
modern!mizu post-college life headcanons
tags: post-grad life, engineering mizu, stable work life, a woman in stem, moving in with reader, basketball with mizu, mizu join fencing club, peaceful post-grad life (the dream)
a/n: ngl the thought of post-college life is tripping me out,,, im a junior in college rn and the thought of it just kinda doesnt?? exist?? also ive heard too much info from my friends' rants ab their engineering degrees and switching majors from mechanic to electrical back to mechanical engineering,, theyre fucking nuts
modern!mizu would prob be in the engineering sector of jobs
wooo stem baby (i am a digital marketing major i should not be talking)
bc hello?? money???
also let’s use that mechanical engineering degree to good use
she didn’t leave home for nothing
with her technical skills from eiji
modern!mizu would probably be a CAD engineer
CAD aka computer aided design
technically speaking, it would allow her to work from home or hybrid
and she can easily transfer her mechanical and on-hand knowledge to a digital format
like she’s smart yall
she just got some troubles w procrastination
but dont we all?
(coping so hard)
this job would also allow her free time and flexible hours to do her job
and i feel like modern!mizu opts for a good work-life balance
if she wishes, she can take the day off snd just go out with u or go to the gym
the freedom of choice while staying comfortable at home?
sign her tf up
she can have her tea time, gym time, spending time w u time, and her self care time
the self care in question: enjoying the silence
and realistically, its a well paying job thatll keep her and u afloat while helping eiji financially if need be
modern!mizu hopes her work and smarts can help her provide for others and herself
its ab time she doesnt let herself depend on a man for money
yeah thats a fuck u to u, m*k*o
shes made the mistake once
shes not gonna make it again
just bc postgrad modern!mizu isnt in sports doesnt mean she’ll stop playing
she needs to get her exercise and movement some way some form
basketball with taigen
and always aim for the three-pointers
and is successful most of the time
and then proceed to aim for the half court shots
and fail most times
fencing with eiji whenever shes back home
she’ll def try to teach u
and its fun at first but
she wants to stretch her wings out
modern!mizu would prob join a fencing club
it would be a great for her to fully practice and spar
not just against her old man
or go soft w u
but also go against ppl her age
modern!mizu would move into a place w u
nothing grand but a small apartment where u could refresh and build the place to be ur own
ringo is a good friend
a true best friend she could trust
but it was time to move in w u
and not be wary of ringo hearing u when he comes home
modern!mizu would be more adventurous in hobbies
yeah she has basketball and fencing and her tea collection
but now she has a stable job
no need to worry about grades
and just to live life one step at a time
she would probably try out pottery with u
definitely practice her cooking with ringo's and ur help
all in all, a very patient life
(she deserves it)
#mizu bes#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu x reader#bes mizu#blue eye samurai#mizu x y/n#mizu headcanons#blue eye samurai mizu#blue eye samurai x reader#modern mizu#modern mizu headcanons#modern au#blue eye samurai modern au
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can we get to know the perverted faculty in midnight darling?
hoo boy. i was gonna make it a stretch goal to include each and every subject mc might get as a biology major in the philippines but have the named ones for now.
warnings: homophobic society, inappropriate teacher/student relationships, age gap, infidelity/adultery, ageism, voyeurism/exhibitionism, sexual and typical yandere themes. dark content. this is a lot smuttier than all of my previous headcannons oh god.
[previous part] — yandere bad boy/jock, good girl, nerd and president.
YANDERE COLLEGE! FACULTY! X POPULAR GIRL! READER [PANGALAWANG YUGTO / SECOND PART]
ELOISE MORIN - PHYSICS TEACHER
✎ Eloise Morin was always drawn to you. You stuck out like sore thumb in her long list of faces she had to memorize every year and was the only time she ever broke a rule. The rule being to never fall in love with one of her students.
✎ It all started with the pairing of her sister, Ella Morin (The Emo! Kid) with you in order to break her out of her shell. The other faculty members seemed to trust you, and you had perfect grades.
✎ Sometimes your harem regrets always cleaning your record with how much the professors called upon you for tasks, thus reducing your time with them.
✎ And it worked, Ella’s grades improved and the sisters’s home life was better. They started actually talking during meals. She just seemed so much happier.
✎ Eloise soon found out it wasn’t because you were friends, it was moreso that you’d relieve Ella of stress when she acted to your whims.
✎ The woman could never forget the time she caught you eating out her little sister after a study session. In her own damn home.
✎ She was confused. Any responsible teacher and guardian would put a stop to this, right? But she found herself welcoming you in every time. Ignoring your disheveled look after ‘hanging out’ with Ella. Always treating you well so you’d be incentivized to come again and again into her home.
✎ So she can watch you defiling her baby sister as she touched herself to sounds of your moans.
✎Her horny levels are pretty terrible for an adult. Eloise was brought up to be a stout, pious woman. Never to have any sexual relations before marriage, much less the same gender. She was never attracted to the men around her and through you she finally knew why.
✎ She has yet to explore her likes and dislikes but what she does know is that merely seeing you gets her absolutely dripping in arousal. She fantasizes day in and out about what you could do to her and where you could do it.
✎On her sister’s bed? The Kitchen counter as she cooked dinner for you whenever you stayed for the night? In front of the class as she teaches? On the desk of that damn principal that kept creeping on you?
✎The only thing stopping her from pouncing on you is guilt. Guilt that she’s attracted to a person much younger than her. A woman no less. What would her parents think? Sure, they’re dead. But Eloise can still imagine the disappointment they’d show if she gave into these lustful urges.
✎What Popular! Reader thinks of her : Like many of your teachers and fellow students. You see her as a means to an end. However, unlike the rest of them, Eloise does interest you the most. You’re waiting to see the moment she snaps. Ready to taint her with your colors.
AMELIA YORKSHIRE - LINGUISTICS TEACHER
✎ Amelia is the eldest teacher in the staff list. She’s a triple divorcee with a child from each husband.
✎ She craves male approval and used to work with Ricardo to bring you down a peg. Before you came in, she was known to harass her male students and show a little too much skin that it was unprofessional at best.
✎ She quickly switched to the other side after a private one-on-one exam with you.
✎ Not only did you get a perfect score in that test, you also managed to give her a better orgasm than all her husbands combined.
✎Also uses her family to get you closer. This time more intentionally. C’mon don’t you just love children? Aren’t hers the cutest?
✎She doesn’t make it discreet when it comes to her more perverted side. Often shoving her cleavage to your face when in class.
✎Tried using another student to make you jealous and that only made you turned off.
✎Is currently desperately trying to earn your attention back. At this point she might as well wear nothing to school.
✎ What Popular! Reader thinks of her: You aren’t the type to slut shame. That would be quite hypocritical of you to do. But a professor obviously perving on her students was kind of baffling. She left little to the imagination, so after your first romp with Amelia you basically never touched her again. Unknowingly making her obsession worse.
✎ Hers was a minor subject anyways, so you didn’t put that much effort into humoring her. She was a great fuck though.
MARX ESGUERRA - BIOLOGY TEACHER
✎ Now Marx was a different story entirely. Unlike your more lowkey teasing with Eloise and disinterest with Amelia. It was well-known throughout the campus of your interest with the Biology teacher.
✎ It took a while to get into his pants. Marx was known to be even worse than Eloise when it came to how strict he was with himself and his students. He was teaching a new generation of healthcare workers after all.
✎ At least that’s what you thought. You didn’t realize it was because he was studying the best way to approach you.
✎ Marx thought of you of you as perfect. He knew what he wanted and what he wanted was for you to stay by his side. Permanently. He didn’t want a shallow connection like you had with Amelia and Justin.
✎ A perfect student like you deserved a perfect relationship from start to finish. And he’ll make sure to give you that.
✎ He expects you to be completely immaculate. He has an image of you that you have to follow. He’ll drill it into your mind if he has to. A perfect man needs a perfect spouse. He’ll never settle for less. He’ll wipe all those filthy hook-ups you’ve made from history. Besides you were just practicing for him, were you not? The rumors about your supposed interest in him do no good to stifle his delusions.
✎ He bumps your grades just a little bit after your dalliances to give the impression that he definitely does not want you just for the sex.
✎ What Popular! Reader thinks of him: A total snob. But you do what you must to gain perfect grades and better opportunities for yourself. Even if it means sleeping with that narcissistic man that kept staring holes into your body.
DANIEL CRUZ - THE PRINCIPAL
✎ This man is the very definition of corrupt. He knows of every dirty little secret that has happened in the school grounds and beyond and gets paid handsomely to hide that.
✎ Thus, he’s great at hiding your little relationship with him. From the school and his older wife.
✎ You were his secret as much as he was yours.
✎ You were just so much more beautiful, younger, tighter, than that stupid woman. He only wanted her when he was younger because she looked hot back then but age wasn’t so kind. After she got pregnant with his children she started showing signs of being grotesque so he often brought home other women to their marital bed. He just couldn’t get it hard with her for the life of him.
✎The wife is unfortunately used to his ways.
✎ Ever since you though, she noticed how he brought home less and less different women. Up until it was just you. She didn’t know if it was a relief or a more terrible sign that he’d actually fallen in love with a sidepiece.
✎ She didn’t know how to feel whenever you exited her own room after a night with her husband. A sorry look on your pretty features gave her a mix of anger for you pitying her and relief that whatever her husband felt, at least it wasn’t reciprocated.
✎ Other than his wife and perhaps even children (oh god) however, no one knows of your relationship with him. Not even Ricardo and he knows the most about you.
✎ What Popular! Reader thinks of him: Despite what many thought of you, you viewed marriage as sacred. You only ‘cheated’ on Justin because you didn’t want him to get killed. Once a promise is made it best be kept and treasured.
✎ And Daniel broke the most beautiful promise of them all.
✎ He’s one of the few people you actually strongly felt for. Unfortunately for him, it’s disdain.
A/N : This is the most filthiest thing I’ve written on this blog so far. I need to take a bath of holy water after this.
#hns.txt💬#hns.ask💌#midnight darling#yandere#yandere x reader#tw.yandere#tw. age gap#tw. cheating#tw. infidelity#yandere ocs x reader#yandere ocs#yandere ocs x you#yandere x you#yandere original characters#yandere professor#yandere teacher#yandere fic#yandere headcannons#yandere x reader smut#yandere smut#yandere smut x reader#yandere oc smut#smut
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skz as marching band members
cw: n/a
an: can you hear my inner band kid coming out after the absolute banger this comeback was? i may not be in band but colorguard is pretty damn close- also the reader a colorguard member! shoutout to nyx, ily boo!
bang chan:
hes a drum major. 100%
he also is band captain bc he's just that bitch
co-arranges musics with the band director and everyone knows when the time he's gonna pull out the 1970s/80s/90s music
use to be a clarinet, but definitely plays in some games if another drum major is conducting for him
an absolute beast when he's conducting, never misses a beat
he's always open to discovering new music bc he loves to arrange songs he enjoys
he's a strickler and needs shit to be on time because he needs to keep a consistent schedule lest he forget to do something
with his partner:
i mean he's definitely the type to try and help with counts (even if your counts are different than the rest of the band)
if he had a dime for every time he got yelled at because he was busy watching your section he'd have a lot of dimes
he likes to say its because your flags are bright and distracting but lets be fr he was watching you
definitely copies the stand dances when he's conducting and makes the rest of the band laugh when he messes up.
typa guy to ask you for a kiss for luck right before the halftime because in his words, "you're his lucky charm"
lee minho:
hes the cheer captain, four time state champion and a menace
probably did band for like half a year and then quit
runs the cheer team practices like its a fucking military camp, everyone fears and loves him
hes grown to have a reputation because once a girl quit due to the pressure and he basically followed her around school for a whole week and she ended up switching schools
deviously talking shit about some of the band and all the football team all the goddamn time, loves loves loves to start beef and then walk away
he also does choreography work with the guard sometimes because he likes seeing the pretty flags
with his partner:
at some point he drags the whole team to your comps just to see y'all, he loves seeing you specifically put all his work in action
always offering helpful advice on how to fix body angles, posture, etc
since he's a performer himself, he get how easy it is to burn out so sometimes he'll bring you to his own practices and show you things he's choreographed himself
seonghwa is considering locking you away after the sheer amount of times you've gone "mysteriously" missing during the end of practice
Always cheers extra loud for you in the stands, just to see your smile
seo changbin:
he's literally so bass/sousaphone coded
him and wooyoung (sax) and yeonjun (flute) have definitely tried to play each others instruments at at least one point
probably switches between the two every year, well versed in how to play both
definitely plays bass outside of band, is hella good at it too
people find him intimidating but in all honesty he's a sweetheart who would help you no matter what
probably one of the dudes that marches with way more energy than the rest of his section combined- literally during weekend practices he's smiling and laughing at 9 in the morning while everyone sluggishly retrieves their instruments
he's also a part of the stage crew and moves and paints a lot of their equipment
with his partner:
he'd definitely try to teach you how to play the bass and he'd be so proud when you manage to play like one chord
calls his friends over and everything and is like "look they did it!"
in return you've definitely taught him stand dances and bro is killing it- you keep trying to convince him to join but he's loyal
whenever you're performing near him, he has the stupidest heart-struck eyes and is always watching you
loves when you do rifle work because he thinks it looks sick as hell
he wouldn't try it though because he's scared that he'll hit himself and he still doesn't know how you do it
he'll give you little winks if you're close by
hwang hyunjin:
hes a piccolo through and through
he's got both the drama and the sass all the flute section is carrying
he always has his piccolo on him, so he's ready to give the performance of a lifetime whenever needed
he's big big friends with the guard and cheer team, they have their own dedicated groupchat and everything
also the costume manager, he has literally been badgering chan to update the uniforms like forever, sometimes he adds his own little spins to the costumes and also does repairs on them
with his partner:
he admires the guard (you) from afar for sure
he carries your stuff for you because he's such a gentleman (also the piccolo is pocket sized and chan has been getting on his ass about treating the instrument right but to him nothing matters more than treating you right)
definitely joins you and seonghwa when you're gossiping about
sometimes he plays and you'll just do a random saber combo to it and he'll cheer for you
sometimes he likes to take a spin on it (and immediately regret when it smacks his fingers really bad)
whenever you get a boo-boo he always kisses it better, swears his kisses will immediately heal your bruises
han jisung:
he's a trumpet (which is oddly fitting for him)
plays sad music even when it doesn't call for it
always doing the sad trombone thing on trumpet and the trombones are salty that he kinda stole their thunder with that
he's known in the low brass section for being able to play almost any brass instrument with the littlest instruction
chan basically refuses to let him make the switch to sax because he knows what'll happen if he does (he thinks han'll go crazy)
he loves a good challenge, will trumpet-off with other people and play songs on his instruments against other sections
with his partner:
he probably plays show tunes and stuff while you dance with him- loves to call you his showgirl
he's always vibing to your little thumps when you toss and throw, wishes that he could do it too
tries to teach you how to play but that does not end well
he's clingy, he'll do anything to stay with you a little longer
sometimes he even asks you to help find his music for him in an attempt to distract you (its in his bag and he'll magically remember after you give him a hug or some form of physical affection)
lee felix:
probably picked the flute cause it looks pretty aesthetic lets be fr
everyone in band comes to him for marching advice because he makes it look fun and easy
always giving it 100% even if no one can hear him- he makes sure he's heard
even though he joined as a hobby, he's killing it and he plays outside of band as well
always doing musical challenges on tik tok, especially when he should be practicing in sectionals
his favorite thing to play on the flute are disney songs, but he also plays a shit ton of different genres and posts them to tik tok, bringing some semblance of fame to their little high school band
with his partner:
he 100% plays little snippets of song you like because everything sounds good on flute (trust me)
will convince you to do tik toks with him even if you aren't a fan
sometimes you let him try the flag or saber in exchange for his flute so you can try it
he admits that the only reason he leaves his flute to you whenever he goes is so that he can sit nearby and listen to you try to play it (and fail)
he would most definitely be a natural at flag but tries not to do as well so you can shine when your time comes
lets you lean back against him in the stands
kim seungmin:
he's percussion. he's literally a percussion in my heart.
he definitely plays the drums around chan because he thinks its funny to annoy him by drumming off count
no one has ever survived a drum comp with this man fr
sometimes he hums along to his drumming
also taps his thighs/air when he doesn't have something in his hands
he has good rhythm so chan usually has him set the pace to which they go on the field to
he's competitive as hell, he knows hes also better than everyone else and he shows it
with his partner:
he loves guard but he refuses to be put next to them on the drill because he suffered an injury at your hands once
he loves to show off he can play the drums and him and his section do little drumming sessions sometimes while you do saber warmups
he distracts both you and himself a lot when it comes to joint practices so seonghwa and chan have tried to move them (to no avail)
he'll sit outside with you when you guys practice sometimes (as support he says, but seonghwa doesn't believe him)
he's always giving you little nods of approval, doesn't outright show it but he'll take your hands and give you a little kiss when no ones looking
he doesn't want his section to know he's soft for you
yang jeongin:
he's front ensemble/pit, i hope we all agree on him being on the synths and marimba
he's a vital part of the band for sure even if he never seems to get credit but he honestly could care less
has been running synths since he joined, originally wanted to do the sousaphone but he wasn't built enough for it
also the front ensemble section leader, he's very efficient in managing the pit
but he's also clumsy as hell and will sometimes zone out and drops the mallet on the marimba or just entirely forgets wtf he's suppose to be doing on the synths
more than once he's nearly caught these hands from chan bc in chans words, "those were expensive"
with his partner:
whenever he sees you on the sidelines, he's always ginning because out of the corner of his eye he can see you jamming out to the music
everyone teases him (especially binnie) because he zones out watching you and drops the mallet on his foot
follows your every move carefully (and like minho), and he'll always give you advice, but he sugar coats it very much because he loves you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings
loves loves loves when you send him little videos of your progress
loves it even more when you question him about his work, it makes him feel so important pls ask him how he does shit hes dying for it
brushes against you when walking out to the fields during games- he just wants to let you know hes there
#skz fic#skz scenarios#skz drabbles#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz fluff#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fiction#skz changbin#skz minho#skz bang chan#stray kids han#skz seungmin#skz hyunjin#skz headcanons#skz felix#skz jeongin#skz aus#skz au#skz smut#bang chan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#han x reader#felix x reader
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being wolfstar kid A-U (i got lazy)
a : affectionate ( who is more affectionate? Remus or Sirius?)
i see both of them being pretty affectionate, but i think Sirius more! he would always rub your head, or give you hugs when you least expected
b: buyer (who buys you more stuff/who spoils you more)
definitely Sirius! he spoils you to be a good dad and Remus hates it because he'll randomly just come home with gifts for you and he would be like
"really sirius?? do they really need all that??" and he'll be like "of course the they do." but he does it because he loves you so much
c: cuddles (who's the hugger parent)
Sirius would love cuddles. and i feel like when you get older you would be like "okay, dad that's enough hugging." and he would lowkey get sad when you don't hug him as much
d: disciplinarian (who disciplines more)
i feel like it would switch between them. like sometimes Remus would be like to Sirius "i don't care, they’re grounded for two weeks" and Sirius would be like "seriously? two weeks?" and then vice versa. sometimes one would be more lenient, and then other times the other would be more lenient
e: exciting activities (what exciting activities do you partake in with your parents)
baking!! you and your parents would find recipes for cupcakes and all kinds of desserts and you would pick and day where you would all bake together for the whole day! after the day in done you guys have SO many baked goods that your dads ends up giving some away to his co-workers. but Remus be honest Remus probably eats a big majority of the desserts himself LOL (i love him being a big sweet tooth!)
f: funnier (which parent is funnier/makes you laugh more)
this is hard because they're both hilarious, but i'm gonna give this one to Sirius because he would have you laughing in situations where you shouldn't be laughing.
g: games (what games would you play together as a family)
ok this isn't really a game, but i see you teaching Sirius and Remus some slang that teenagers use nowadays. you would teach them the meaning of "tea" or "has left the chat" and i just see them totally over using it to the point where you're like what have i done. Sirius would be ranting about his long day at work and at the end of it he would be like "i just spilt the tea sis"
h : how close are you with their friends and family? (i.e james, regulus, frank, peter, and so on)
definitely closets with james and regulus! i mean that’s their best friend and brother were talking about! peter too! he comes around for holidays and always calls in to check in on all of you! (i headcanon for my self that peter never did some slick shi and i don’t tolerate young!peter slander!!!)
i: internet (what social media's do your parents allow you to have)
i think Sirius would definitely keep tabs on you, but Remus wouldn't know or care until Remus told him LOL Sirius would show him a picture of you in a revealing outfit or something and Remus would be like
"ok delete this" and you'd be like "why!?" and his only response would be "because you're practically naked"
j: jokes (which parent jokes around more and which is more serious)
Sirius would tell you such inappropriate jokes omg. and you'd be like “😶👀” and Remus would
scold the both of you
k: kid around (which parent could you kid around with more without them
taking it seriously)
Remus would take it more serious lmao. you would be watching a show and a character would do something stupid and you would be like "I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO KILL THIS CHARACTER" and a joke, because you were mad. and Remus would over hear and be like
"why would you say that??" and Sirius would be like "oh come one moony, relax. they’re just kidding."
LMAO
1: loving (something your parents do for you that shows how much they love you)
if you fell asleep on the couch, Remus would pick you up and tuck you in bed. and whenever you were sad Sirius would play with your hair, because that's what he likes to have done to him when he’s sad :(
m: money (which parent gives you more money when you ask)
Sirius definitely would. he would never say no when you ask for money. the only time he would say no is when you're in trouble or he's mad at you. Remus wouldn't give you money unless you earned it.
n: nicknames (what nicknames or pet names do your parents call you)
Sirius calls you "honey" or a short form of your name. Remus would call you "cocoa" because when ever since you were little you loved chocolate and you and Remus always ate it together. and Remus loved that because he loves chocolate and you
0: open (which parent are you more open with/feel comfortable telling anything to)
Remus! but Sirius honestly would be a close second. i feel like if you want more sentimental advice you would go to Remus. he would know exactly what to tell you to make you feel better at that time. but if you wanted more straightforward advice, then you would go to Sirius. he would tell you the truth, even if it hurts your feelings sometimes LMAO but you know you need to hear it
p: patient (which parent is more patient with you)
i feel like Remus is a little
more patient. if you were taking too long to do something, Sirius would be like "did they fall in or something??" and Remus would be like "let's just give them five more minutes." or if they were waiting outside a store for you and you were taking a long time, when you finally got out of the store Sirius would be like "what took you so long?? i've been waiting here for like 15 minutes!" but if it was Remus you'd apologize and he would be like "it's fine"
q: questions (which parent do you feel more comfortable asking questions to)
once again it depends what kind of answer you're looking for LMAO you go to Sirius for blunt honesty and you go to Remus for more heart to heart questions
r: random (a random thing you do with each parent)
you and Sirius have a SUPER long handshake and it was like a full minute showcase LOL you guys would both show all of his friends and family they would all lowkey be jealous (especially james lmaooo). and with Remus i feel like you guys would see random bakeries or restaurants on the street and go there to try it and you guys would do taste tests and stuff
s: strict (which parent is more strict and which is more lenient)
i think Remus is a tad stricter especially with your grades. i can see Sirius yelling at you for like not cleaning your room or getting a bad grade on a test. but both of them would be pretty strict about you telling them where you are and if they found out you lied to them they would be pissed LMAO
t: tasty (which parent is a better cook)
Remus is the chef of the family definitely. Remus and his coq au vin LMAO he tries to teach you how to cook it but you can't really cook, only bake and he tries the dish you tried to make and he's like "i love you so much cocoa, but holy cow this is disgusting"
u: unfortunate (what tragedy that happened to you family affected you the most)
well definitely not Sirius going to azkaban and Remus running away!! well just all pretend that didn’t happen
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Madrid Week 2: Taking Time
Hola a todxs! Niko here again, back for week 2 of studying abroad in Madrid. This week felt nearly as long as my first one in the city. Class started on Monday. Thankfully, schoolwork has been pretty light thus far, so I’ve had the spare energy and time to focus on adjusting to the new schedule, commute, and teaching/class style at UC3M, all while attempting to make new friends with Spanish, American, and International students from across Europe (and Oceania!). Also, I took a weekend trip to Granada in the southern region of Andalucía — more on that later.
SCHOOL STUFF (ACADEMICS?!)
With the first week now under my belt, I wanted to quickly touch on my academic experience so far in Spain. This semester, I’m taking a Spanish language class for international students, and three classes in English for a both national and international students: “Social groups and their cultural imaginaries” (a mix between philosophy and culture, INTERHUM 300 equivalent), “Materials Science and Engineering” (MATSCI 220 Equivalent), and “Databases and Structures” (EECS 400 Level Equivalent). Given that I pass 🙏, all of these classes should count towards my degrees (aerospace engineering major, international minor for engineers, computer science minor).
School at UC3M is quite different than it is in the states. Most notably, the grading system is unfamiliar. At Michigan, a big emphasis is put on required assignments that are due throughout the semester — homeworks, problem sets, mini projects, etc.. These required assignments force students to continuously engage with the content, which I feel improves focus and learning (if the assignments are completed with the right intention). At Carlos III, the final exam constitutes 60% of the final grade for the vast majority of classes, with the remaining 40% of “continuous assessment” depending on things like in-class quizzes and one-off assignments.
With no homework to keep me on track, I’m gonna have to pay close attention to make sure my classes don’t fall to the wayside with all of the 1,000,000 other distractions in Madrid (and Europe) vying for my attention. I’ve already decided to switch one class (Neural Networks) because I thought it would require a level of effort that I simply wasn’t prepared to put in while I’m abroad with bigger priorities than school (namely, exploration, self growth, meeting people, etc.).
This is a shift in itself that I’m going to have to get used to — for my entire life, performing well in school has been at the top of my list. However, while in Spain, all I need to do is pass (get a 5/10, 50% overall) for my credits to transfer with no effect on my GPA, so that’s what I’m shooting for now. I’m certain that this will cause some internal conflict (e.g.: a 60% on [x] quiz?! Oh no!!! tbh math 216 already got me over those bad grades tho lol) when things start to pick up, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
ON RELATIONSHIPS
Going into my study abroad experience, my biggest goal was to understand the culture of Madrid & Spain from a local point of view. I knew from studying in Buenos Aires that living in a different city can be a much more enriching experience than touring it for vacation, so long as I put in the effort. A big part of that goal was to make friends with people local to Madrid, along with other Americans*/ International students who shared that same mindset. I think that in explicitly setting this goal, I inadvertently put a lot of pressure on myself to make all these friends really quickly, in an environment and language I’m unfamiliar with, all while trying to adjust to and internalize a major lifestyle shift.
As a result, I think that — up until this week — this self-imposed pressure gave me unnecessary anxiety that inhibited me from being my true self. I spent time worrying about whether the Spanish students in my class would like me, if my Spanish was good enough to communicate with them, if they would judge me for being an American, how soon I should message the new person I met in the cafeteria so I wouldn’t appear too clingy… the list goes on. I was stressing and strategizing to make friends, when the best strategy is always to just be myself.
This is a lesson I’ve learned during my transition to Michigan, but being implanted into a new environment and University gave me a bit of a factory reset. I had to remind myself that I’ve only been here for 2.5 weeks. Directing my attention inwards instead of outwards will enable me to be fully present (and able to overcome the initial discomfort of making new relationships [see week 1 for discussion on discomfort]) when people that I can click with inevitably come along. Through this process, I’ll undoubtedly develop a stronger relationship with myself and increased comfort being alone, which is another personal goal of mine.
Funnily enough, that’s how things started to turn out in the second half of the first week. When I caught myself overthinking and was able to redirect my focus, I slowly started to reach out and become more friendly with some of the Spanish students in my culture class, and I met a group of Spaniards by chance that I really vibe with at the club on a Wednesday (oops, sorry it’s syllabus week :P ). Simultaneously, I’ve begun to get closer to some fellow American study abroad students. By no means have I found the perfect group of friend-soulmates that I’ll proceed to travel and experience Europe with for the rest of my 17 weeks in Spain, but that wasn’t something that I was ever expecting, anyways. Moving forward, I’m going to do my best to avoid resisting flow, always assuming positive intent to keep myself open to new interactions (check out what I mean by this by watching this video clip from a speech Mark Rober gave at the MIT graduation, I highly recommend the whole video), all the while prioritizing my own peace and happiness.
This weekend, I also visited Granada, a small town in the south of Spain famous for its Moorish influence and the incredible La Alhambra palace nestled in its hills. I might cover the trip in more detail next week, I guess we’ll see… but it was a beautiful weekend filled with beautiful architecture, beautiful sunsets, and great company. Per usual, check out the photo captions for some more context.
Until next week :)
Niko Economos
Aerospace Engineering
Universidad Carlos III de Madrid
Madrid, Spain
*A LONG ASIDE ON THE WORD “AMERICAN”, for context & completeness
I would like to be clear about my use of the word "American". In English, there is no succinct way to say “Person from the United States of America”, unlike other nationalities (Spaniard, Argentinian, Norwegian, etc). American is the best word that we have. However, in conversations about US culture with people from other countries, I’ve been met with a similar critique in multiple instances (both with Europeans and South Americans). The Americas include the entire continent of North America and South America, which encompasses a huge variety of countries, cultures, and nationalities. When saying the word “American” while describing a person from the United States, we are inadvertently reinforcing the narrative that the United States is the most significant country across both continents and thus more righteously deserves the blanket term “American” over any other country in the region.
This conclusion is obviously more nuanced than what I’ve stated. The United States of America uses the word “America” in its name, which is likely where this blanket term came from. Also, I don’t think that the perpetuation of this US-centric language is due to intentional individual action, but rather a result of complicated cultural and etymological phenomena which I don’t have a comprehensive understanding of.
I won’t stop saying American in these blogs — primarily because saying “person from the United States” each time would likely distract from the points I'm trying to make — but I felt that an acknowledgement of this common criticism was important. In Spanish, Estados Unidos = United States, and US citizens are more precisely described as “Estadounidenses” (although the word “Americano” is still commonly used). When introducing myself to people from other countries, I always do my best to use the most precise language possible when referring to my nationality, which is one of the many ways I practice cultural humility. Stay tuned for another blog sometime this semester about how I go about practicing cultural humility, something that I think is very important for Americans who come from one of the most — if not the most — influential countries on earth (something that has also become apparent through my conversations).
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do you think tutoring/freelancing is better/easier than being a full-time teacher
i mean, that's obviously very subjective - a friend of mine was a tutor as her main gig for a long time to pay the bills while doing opera directing, and she wound up deciding to get her master's in teaching (secondary level, i.e. middle/high school), and now she's teaching english at an academically selective public high school and seems overall pretty happy with the switch. but for me, like, yeah, no question. the major downside is the financial piece. i am lucky that when i sent out a bunch of applications i got picked up by a company that pays me a good hourly rate, regularly sends me clients, and is pretty nice to work for. but i am definitely still figuring out the financial piece & currently making a lot less than i did per year as a teacher, with a higher effective tax rate because of self-employment tax (15.3% of 92.35% of your net earnings from self-employment, which is covered by your employer if you are a w-2 employee - if i calculated right my effective tax rate is a little under 31% and i am expecting to clear less than 40k this year). this is my first full calendar year of it and i'm definitely still learning the ups & downs of the calendar, and am lucky that i have been able some months to ask my partner to write the rent check and i'll pay him back a few days later when my next paycheck clears. i also domestic partnered with my dude when i quit my teaching job so i could go on his health insurance, & without that i would probably be paying maybe slightly less monthly for insurance but it would be insurance that functions like being uninsured because (having been on it before i can tell you) ACA insurance in new york is so, so, so so so so so so bad. nobody fucking takes it and any remotely affordable plan involves a deductible high enough to i guess maybe prevent you from going bankrupt in case of emergency (which is important but which i'm also like genuinely unsure about bc like what if you get hit by a car and the ambulance takes you to a hospital that doesn't take your shitty insurance that fucking no one in this city accepts?) but otherwise basically mean you will be paying out of pocket for everything anyway. this is all why i think that next year i am gonna start trying in earnest to figure out how to pick up more clients on my own so that i can charge my own rates and hopefully build them up over time to something where i'm not like, sweating when it's spring break and half my clients are in europe or whatever. (my friend still does tutoring on the side and her rates are hella high - the best paying clients i've had have been people she referred over to me because i just charged them whatever she would have quoted and rich people in new york will pay crazy ass money for basically anything.)
but like as a job? yeah, it's easier, no question. i like being able to wake up without an alarm and work out or do chores in the middle of the day and waking up with period cramps and deciding that today the standards will be lower and opening tumblr to answer an ask while i pray for the advil to kick in (lol). i like that i can say i mostly don't work wednesdays so i didn't have to give up the volunteer commitment i picked up when i was Figuring Stuff Out in peak covid times which has also become the source of like half of my social contact. my finances are more precarious than they were but based on my friend's experience i am cautiously optimistic that won't always be the case and in the meantime i am pretty much paying my bills working substantially less than 40 hours a week. the lifestyle agrees with me, a lot, now that i have Evolved enough in my Journey that i no longer want my remunerative work to also be the primary filler of my emotional needs, lol - when i was younger i actively wanted a job that would demand a lot of me, and the fact that i no longer to do definitely has partly to do with teaching burnout but also because i figured out how to get other things to make me feel happy and fulfilled.
i also am better at it. my strength as a teacher i think was always in the actual teaching part, but to be a classroom teacher, especially in elementary school, you need to be good at like 900 fucking different things, and i sucked at a lot of them. i never got to a place in years of working with kids where i felt like i could reliably handle a group of kids, behaviorally, and like... i dunno, behavior stuff is unglamorous and you can argue that the phrase "classroom management" is kind of dystopian, but what i came to believe as a result of my classroom experiences, not before, is that establishing and maintaining a calm, mostly quiet, predictable classroom is a way of protecting children's access to education and a way of protecting children from each other. when i was working in a public school job that i quit after four months, i really felt like if i had been able to be a tyrant who kept them silent all day, that would have been an emotionally healthier situation for them than what i had going on, which was just children being terrorized and hurt by each other all day long, with nobody around who could make it stop. unpopular i know! but once i watched a fourth grader mock another fourth grader's speech for being an english language learner and then tell her to stop talking if she can't speak english (in a conversation i was attempting to have about how we could treat each other more respectfully), and then totally refuse to ever apologize or engage in any kind of reflection about why that wasn't okay, i was like, yeah all of these children's lives would be better if i could get them to just stop talking. they wouldn't be good. but they would be better than what i was doing.
i also found teaching a morally exhausting job, which is maybe best illustrated by the fact that the mean kid in that previous example was also a homeless kid whose dad was probably in jail. that was the kind of thing i ran into constantly - to take an example from private school, my last year i faced a repeated situation where i was like, "i can either tell this 8 year old to just get over and ignore the fact that someone said something objectively fucked up to them, or i can attempt to have some kind of completely doomed problem solving exchange with the most emotionally fragile child i ever met whose dad died a year ago and whose mom is a mess and who is psychologically incapable of admitting imperfection and will accuse you of victimizing her if you suggest that you believe someone else saying that she said this thing that she definitely said." and like, i still don't know what the fuck i was supposed to do with that. i still don't know if it was fucked up of us to try to get that kid to try, like, ever, at anything, or if it was good because even in the midst of grief and many other issues kids need structure and boundaries and to be treated like their feelings matter but are not the only thing in the entire world [truly i do believe this: raising kids to believe their emotions are too important is very, very damaging to the kids, because believing that your emotions are emergencies is a terrible way to go through life] and it's unpleasant for them in the morning but better in the long run than the alternative. like, i don't fucking know. and meanwhile her mom called us to tell us that she was a happy child whose only problem in the entire world was that her teachers were insufficiently sensitive. she called to tell us that, btw, within two weeks of the one-year anniversary of the kid's dad's sudden death, which like, i'm not a child psychologist but................ (tutor-parent relationships are also way easier than teacher-parent relationships, and also if they decide they hate me like who cares there will be others.) (sometimes i feel bad complaining about parents because honestly the vast majority of parents i ever had were very pleasant and lots of them loved to effuse about how much their kids loved school and loved their teachers and were having a great year and they were so grateful to us, even when i didn't think we were necessarily doing an awesome job. lol. but the difficult ones do have a way of lingering.)
i am getting off track. anyway. so i didn't have a lot of faith in my abilities as a teacher, and i also by the end didn't have any faith basically in my ability to find a school where i felt i could trust the institution i was in to be a good place to develop those abilities. sometimes i still do get sad because i think if i'd found my way after my master's to a school that was a decent-ish fit, i probably would have been really happy and would still be teaching. (a bonus bummer is that in retrospect this would have probably required me to skip trying out public schools in general, since what i later learned is that basically only terrible schools hire teachers new to the DOE and the trick is to stick it out a year and then you can be considered by a non terrible school - but i couldn't hack it that year.) but i had a pair of nightmares back to back and at the end i just didn't have the energy to try again. and some of that was the Miscellaneous Skills stuff mentioned above but also some of that was pedagogical. when i say "all schools are bad" i'm actually not referring to structural issues like underfunding problems or lack of arts programs or excessively high student-teacher ratios. i am referring to the fact that graduate schools of education are terrible? like worse than useless? i think i learned a few things in my grad school but basically all of them were in the slightly higher-level special ed classes i took because i was doing the dual certification program. which, to be clear, i do NOT think prepared me successfully to teach students with disabilities. the special ed classes were the only classes that i felt like taught me useful things about general ed teaching. if i had done the general ed degree idk what the fuck i would have learned. like unpopular opinion but at a certain point i was like, i may as well have done fucking TFA for all that i got out of the many thousands of dollars i paid and am still paying these fuckers.
i mean, at grad school, we were taught that learning styles are real. and when sometimes in a small group i would be like, "i think learning styles are maybe not real actually?" people would look at me blankly. (or if i said something like, "can you explain to me how an audio recording of a picture book is more suited to auditory learners than just... a teacher reading it out loud. like why... is that more auditory." they did not understand the question and could not answer it. these are the people educating america's youth.) i got docked points once actually on an assignment where i was working with this kid for 8 weeks and i described this thing i had done with her that had hugely boosted her comprehension - i mean she'd gone from not being able to answer the simplest most basic factual questions about literally anything she'd read despite having strong decoding skills to like, being able to thoroughly and accurately answer the questions i was asking her - but it hadn't Aligned With Her Learning Style. and so then another week i reluctantly tried a different thing that was more vaguely kinesthetic because "learning styles are fake" was not an option, and the thing i did worked LESS WELL and i got a BETTER GRADE for Clearly Aligning With Her Individual Learning Style. like, let me just underscore for this: i got a better grade for doing WORSE TEACHING, AS MEASURED BY LEARNING OUTCOMES, because i was doing better alignment with a model that is discredited and fake. and this is like, all ed schools. all of them. and therefore, all teachers.
i suffered a major crisis of disillusionment when i was maternity subbing at the place that wound up being my last classroom employer where i found a post on timothy shanahan's blog (i love him now and recommend him to anyone interested in literacy shit but he hurt my feelings at first) where he was like, "independent reading is a waste of time." the HORROR! the HERESY! but his case was undeniable. and as i came to accept that i also came to realize that i had never been in a school environment, in grad school or as a teacher, where i could say something like, "i read this very interesting argument that independent reading is not a good use of classroom time for these reasons based in both logic and research," and be met with anything but scorn. and like that was the thread that unraveled the entire sweater of, uh, the most popular literacy program in new york city. (the TC workshop program.) like, by the end of my classroom time, i was like, wow this program literally doesn't help anyone but borderline gifted kids. any kids who need actual help to learn to read are completely 100% left in the dark. but when i tried to say something in team meetings like "hey this student who has not progressed in his reading in two years across two different classrooms, i think he is not benefiting from our program," i got told, "don't feel bad, i think he's a complicated case." (this from the math specialist who also tried to convince me that being able to add single digit numbers without counting is not important, and that not being able to do that has no relationship whatsoever with a student's present ability to learn to multiply. in case you thought it was only reading that was bad.) one time (i learned from the literacy specialist who i did like) an outside consultant came to do some professional development (i hated her for reasons too complicated to get into but i was complaining about her which is why i learned this story) who was very into creating Independent Self-Directed Reflective Learners Blah Blah Blah and she did a conference with a student and then was debriefing it for the teaching team and naming all the Strengths she had as a reader and all the good stuff she was doing and the literacy specialist had to be like, "i have read the book she's reading and nothing she said about it was accurate."
ok. i am really just ranting now. also the advil is starting to work so i almost feel human again and should probably try to do something with that while it lasts. the original point i was going to make that was relevant to your inquiry re: pedagogy was that in tutoring if i try something and i decide it was bad and didn't work, then i don't have to do it anymore. and if i have an idea that i think might be good then i can do it. and it turns out i fucking love that. to the extent of like, i don't work a lot, as i said, but i definitely put in more prep time than i know at least a lot of test prep tutors do, and sometimes i feel weird about that because test prep tutoring is basically widening the achievement gap and like the whole point of it for me also was to work less. but like it turns out that while i love not having a real job, i have still retained a certain core ability to derive satisfaction out of feeling like i am doing something with integrity and skill, and like... idk man it still feels really fucking good to have that moment of like Wow I Taught Someone Something, even if it's like... oh man a while ago one of my SAT kids was like, "i was going to pick B because the passage mentioned calcites [or whatever random science terms], but it's not really saying that they did that, so i went with D," which was perfect SAT logic (the SAT reading section, and actually most standardized test reading sections in my experience, loves to have one tempting answer that mentions some hyperspecific terms from the passage but says something inaccurate about them, and then a correct answer that doesn't use any words from the passage but requires you to have like actually understood the idea conveyed in order to identify it as correct, and students who don't come in as great readers get sooooo tripped up on "well it MENTIONED..." because students who are not great readers are not in the habit of reading texts as integrated wholes) relating to a trap she had fallen into many times before, and i was soooo proud of her lmao. and i actually like, not just don't hate but do kind of actively enjoy being able to chase those moments fully on my own terms and using my own judgment, observation, learning, & experiences. [which ok sorry to loop back into being a bummer but like: in theory it's nice to say i want that for all teachers, but in practice see above re: the learning and experiences of most teachers are bad because ed schools are bad.]
working evenings & weekend during the school year can be a pain tho. i like test prep work because as i spend more time with specific tests they become a lot less work-intensive to tutor because i've already made my little highlighted answer keys (remember what i said about how i know for a fact most test prep tutors put in less time than i do...) but i might try in the future to figure out a way to get more elementary school clients because they get out of school earlier, lol. maybe one day i'll go in for orton-gillingham certification so i can bill myself as qualified to work with students with dyslexia.
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van driessen and buzzcut for the ship ask
THANK YOUUU. anytime i rb a ship ask thing it's me not-so-subtly asking to answer it about van d/buzzcut
Send me a ship and I will tell you:
when I started shipping it if I did: either late last year or earlier this one. but if someone had introduced me to its existence earlier i'd have been all over it
my thoughts: SOOOO many oh my god. i love them so much. (not-so-tough) tough guy and his little hippie malewife he adores
What makes me happy about them: van d finally getting some...love and affection. and cock. and buzzcut finding someone he not only doesn't hate, but absolutely loves
What makes me sad about them: if there are ever any more canon interactions between them ik they're gonna be hostile. nobody in the writers room can see my visions
things done in fanfic that annoys me: ...i've written the VAST majority of the buzzdriessen fanfic out there. and the rest is just a couple scenes from fics that aren't focused on them; i appreciate what i can get but this shit is sparse. i am sadly holding out a cup that says "buzzdriessen fic (anything helps)"
things I look for in fanfic: me not being the damn author! but bits i like including in mine are brad being mad affectionate with dave and calling him the cheesiest pet names ever
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: no one. they need each other. but fr i don't ship either with anyone else from the show. maybe dave with his one hippie friend from this one comic but that's really it
My happily ever after for them: they finally help b&bh graduate and spend the rest of their employed days doing what they can to help highland's staff and students through union work and teaching and shit. also i want them to be voted highland's cutest couple at least once. just cause
who is the big spoon/little spoon: most of the time, brad big spoon and dave little spoon, but occasionally they switch it up
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: cuddling on the couch and watching pbs
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hey daddy socrates!
as i understand you did MA in philosophy, can i rant a bit in your ask box?
i did my BA in philosophy, now i want to do my MA in philosophy because i love it. but everyone tells me it's useless since this degree is unemployable.
idk, i guess i wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on this? i feel so depressed lately since it feels like i have to pick between a) something i'm interested in, passionate about and love b) something that will land me a well paying job. and it feels like b is more responsible choice but also that it will ultimately make me really miserable.
Okay so, I'm not gonna lie I also thought it was useless in undergrad. I had gone in initially with the aim of an English major and the education certification track (bc my school was quirky and wacky 🤪🤪 a cert for my state rather than a full major) but I found myself so enamored by the mushy-ness of philosophy that I stuck with it. Every time I asked a professor "so what can I do with this degree?" it was ALWAYSSSSSS "you can do ✨️anything✨️ :)" and I'm like, Gary that's not an answer (^':
Right so a lot of people take a philosophy degree (or two) and then go into law school or become a professor. I wanted to take some time to explore other options before committing to a second degree in philosophy and honestly I got about halfway through a school year away from it before I went crazy and applied for some classes at a nearby university. Backstory backstory backstory, etc. If you really want you can find the rest of that in my talking tag (#blah blah blah) if you want all the ramblings and complaints and the victories.
Getting back to your point though, when Gary said "you can do anything," he meant that the skills taught in philosophy - like critical thinking, deep reading, reasoning, recognizing fallacies, awareness of social and political history surrounding the "whys" behind the "whats" of individual beliefs and broader systems/structures - is almost universally adaptable. My mom said through my junior and senior years that those skills are always in wicked high demand, so philosophers are going to be good at whatever we decide to apply ourselves to.
But that's not fun. We know REAL fun! Sitting in a library basement drawing the ghosts out of dead texts and "Um, Actually"-ing them with our 21st century, likely more diverse perspectives :)
Have the others in your life picked out careers for you? Because I have a little list of things I came up with that are not rooted in academia but can use the skills and might help cast a wider net while still related!
Joining an activist organization, or a union organizing group
Political analysis
Editor (maybe for a philosophy journal?!)
Local office ethics board
Human resources is a related option to the above and seems to be in constant demand
It's a short list and definitely a work in progress, but they're just a few little ideas. Use your network!! Use them! Professors, classmates, alumni, friends, family of friends, etc! They may have insight into places you can't even conceive of yourself at this moment!
I did almost go for a job in HR with an environmental technology company but somehow got a job in costuming. Fuckin bananas, the chance of that. But it's wonderful, because it's a job I can leave at work, and once a week last semester I would leave a little early to do just one class. Working full time and being a super-small-part-time student has been uhhhh tricky but it's more or less worked for me to dedicate a few hours each weekend to doing the assignments etc. JUST a few. Sleep and video games and going outside are also necessary.
... But also, if you really want to commit to philosophical research or teaching philosophy (as I am now planning to do), then I say go for it. My current job is definitely not my forever-home, but ALSOOOOOO the idea of a "forever career" feels silly to me. If you are able to let yourself float a little bit from time to time, recognize that you can switch it up if you need to. My partner is currently in a floating spot right now and he's miserable about it, but there is something comforting about knowing that the training he is currently doing in the meantime while between jobs does not have to be the only office he will ever have to sit in.
If you choose to go ahead in philosophy, hell yeah!! Big fan, absolutely love that. If you decide to take a break like I did, try something else, even just for a little while, that's also great! It could be used as a sort of "See? I DID do other things" at your nay-sayers too >:)
WHEW lots to say, too much space allowed to say it. I hope some of that can help a little. Absolutely come back to rant more if you want!
#replies#i answered the other ask the other day bc your ask reminded me it was in there lol. i just wanted to spend the time to write out a response#fr rant anytime#i will do my best to give a Thoughtful response in a timely(ish) manner#you got this anon!
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20160203 Nic & Al
Eleven years. Yes, for the last eleven years I’ve been dealing with this kind of pitiful hollow in my heart – I would say body but I’m a big girl there’s no such thing my body is hollow. Well, probably not eleven. Maybe it’s ten, since the first year I didn’t know what the feeling was called.
It seemed like a long time ago, but I still can remember it in a flicker snap. I was just another ordinary teenage girl when I actually first met this boy. I wouldn’t say he was as ordinary as me, but he wasn’t the most popular either. We were in the same class when it happened.
It was the first period of the first day of our senior year when our teacher assigned us to work together in group projects for the rest of the semester. Well, both of us, one of my friends – Liz, and two of his friends. It wasn’t like I hate him, or his friends. I just hated – uh, how do I say this – noises? Yes, that’s the word. Or more like, I hated loud noises. And they were loud. I knew because I usually gave them a disgusted look every time I passed their table in the lunch hall. So yeah, I was sulking for the good two periods while Liz gave me a silent pity look – she was nice enough to not dislike them – and the three of them talked about what they were going to have for lunch – I know, are you fucking serious?
By the time the class ended, I immediately bolted out of the classroom, half-dragging Liz with me to our lockers. We were switching our books when those three little brats showed up in the hallway, walking towards us. For a split second, I thought they were going to talk to Liz since she was the nicer one. I mean, who would want to talk to an unfriendly sarcastic girl, right?
Oh wait, he would.
“Nicole, right?” He asked as he held his hand up for me to hold. On the corner of my eyes, I could see the other two approaching Liz. Of course.
I raised my eyebrows at him, but shook the warm hand nonetheless. I didn’t want to say anything and I was almost glad he understood my gesture by saying again, “I’m Alex. Those two brats talking to Elizabeth are Ralph and Brandon.”
“They call her Liz,” I said as I pulled out my hand from his firm grasp. He smiled, “Right, Liz. And what do they call you?”
“Nicole,” I answered flatly. He chuckled and I swore I could hear him mumbling of course before adding, “I’m gonna call you Nic.”
Oh no, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t the beginning of any friendship – or any relationship at all.
I ended up having a major crush on Brandon while Alex became the big brother I never had, completed with his girlfriend Lauren who eventually became the big sister of mine. We argued a lot, with Lauren being our mediator. Ralph was the gay-looking friend I didn’t knew I needed, except he wasn’t gay. He loved spending time going out with us girls even though her girlfriend at the time didn’t like us much. He valued friendship above everything – seriously everything, one time I was sick at home and my parents were gone and he was visiting me even though it was his birthday.
But Brandon was another story. For the young Nicole, Brandon was everything a girl could dream of. Oh no, he wasn’t the quarterback of the football team or something like that. He was the captain of the basketball team though. And he was way smarter than me. He would teach me things without making me feel like an idiot. But I was right though, he was loud. Even though he wasn’t as arrogant as I thought he would be. He made all of us promise to watch his games and I always rolled my eyes at him saying it needed too much work, but I ended up sitting on the back row of the tribune with Liz and Ralph anyway, desperately hiding my feelings.
My high school crush didn’t end well, of course. Brandon ended up having a crush on a sophomore girl and Brandon was being Brandon, not willing to let it go until he got an answer from the girl – which was a yes.
Time passed and before we knew it, we were graduating. Liz and I went to different colleges – so did the others – and I honestly didn’t know if any of my mutual friends were going to my college out of the town. Well, not until when Ralph set me off at the train station and said, “You take care of yourself. And Alex, God knows he needs someone to take care of him.”
I deadpanned. “What do you mean?”
“Wait you didn’t know?” His eyes widened in amusement when I shook my head and he said, “Alex was on the waiting list, right? But yesterday they called him telling him that he was accepted.”
I should be happy hearing the news from Ralph, but I grumbled half-heartedly, “Well he didn’t tell me.”
Ralph laughed, knowing the banter between Alex and me wouldn’t stop even when we would live in the same town for another four years. He hugged me goodbye, and well, that, my friend, was the first page of the Nic-and-Al chapter, or you could say, the year where it all began.
Side-note: I came up with the nickname about a month after he constantly called me Nic despite how much I told him not to.
Al broke up with Lauren soon after he settled down in college, right after thanksgiving. Lauren claimed she couldn’t do a long distance relationship even though they had been together for like, years. Al didn’t even tell me until three months after the breakup, making me feel stupid because I should’ve known better.
When Al took steps to move on from Lauren by going out with his girl friends from his Finance class, I gradually found myself falling hard for him. Al was the sweetest human being who treated girls preciously – except me. He was so, so lovingly rude and he loved to cling on me due to his tiredness of classes when everyone wasn’t around – claiming that he was too manly to do that in front of his friends. And even though we were both single for the whole first three years of college, it just never happened between the two of us.
However, when senior year came, something happened – I still didn’t know what – and we completely separated. We didn’t talk and we didn’t even greet each other when we met on the campus hallway, just a lingering look coming from me. And as much as I hurt because of the sudden loss of contact, I didn’t dare to make a move. No, of course I didn’t. Instead I got myself a boyfriend and he didn’t know how hurt I felt when he gave me the unapproved look every time he saw me walking hand in hand with my boyfriend. He didn’t know how I really wanted to let go of my boyfriend’s hand and leave him if he’d have me. But no, I didn’t tell him any of those, I was a coward, still is. And I regretted it for every single day I lived until this day came.
The mourning day.
The mourning day sounded like I exaggerated things, which I probably did. But it is the day, one day, every year where I let myself drown in a pool of this awful feeling, remembering every bit of memories of Al that I still keep neatly in the back of my mind. Every single year, I let myself fall in love with young Al over and over again. Every single year, until now, which is – I hope – the last year of mourning for me. Because all these years I was always wondering how he was doing and stuff like that, but this year I’m lucky to have an answer when he contacted me this morning. Yes, he was doing great, he is. And Al is about to get married.
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please tell me every detail of u and tsukasa because I am beyond obsessed with you two
would you believe I had 2 whole ass paragraphs written when i switched tabs and lost it all??? this is hell, tumblr is hell.
annyways YES OK SELFSHIP SATURDAY LETS GO, UNDER A CUT BC IM SHY AND IM GONNA BE RAMBLY. TLDR, summed up as Me and the Bad Bitch I pulled by Being Autistic
I GOTTA BE HONEST, tsukasa was not it for me when i first started the series, but i was also busy chewing furiously on senku bc he's Neat. but I was sunk after we found out about Mirai he loves her SO MUCH. big stronk man good with children is an instant K.O., i was smitten so quick.
Dr Stone is actually the first series i ever Blatently self inserted into! it was a really good fit and I felt that i could just, genuinely suit the story setting bc 1) ADHD has blessed me with sprawling random curiosities and an accumulation of trivial but Useful knowledge and 2) I literally studied archaeology for my B.A. and bc I live in Canada most of our archaeologoy is based on the Indigenous population who was still using stone technology when first contact with europeans occurred. random note for anyone who might be parusing, the 'ages of history' such as stone, bronze, and iron, didn't occur across all of civilization unilaterally, and the technology used by people is not an indication of civility or advancement of a social group. Anyways.
My real life plan for after I finished Uni was to go and teach english in asia! This didn't happed for various reasons, but it presents a good opportunity for bending realty into fitting me into the series, ehe. I genuinley think it would be really funny if I got revived by the Tsukasa empire by complete accident, busting outta the stone speaking minimal japanese and being a literal scientist by education - i was put here to cause problems on purpose. Tsukasa and I would absolutely start out as bumping heads, not quiet immediatley but as someone Anti smashing people and pro science it gets hostile fast. Arguments are conducted largely thru translations via Ukyo, who i quickly grow attached to as the only person capable of commincating in fluent english (we also have birthdays close together and I Adore that, we're birthday buddies, v cute stuff) I gotta sidetrack for a second bc as much as I love this series theres SO MUCH STUFF THAT JUST ISNT ADDRESSED AND I GET ITS JUST A MANGA BUT IM A WEIRDO. like, what about the bees??? they were just chill after having simbiotic relationships with humans for thousands of years?? sure y not. k sorry
I do wonder tho, if Tsukasa would see me as a threat to the stability of his Empire. Even with poor communication with the majority of the group, I've got a decent set of leadership skills and a lil bit of charisma, and who wouldn't like me really - esp with all the useful knowledge i can bring to the table (yes im hyping myself but its also true, i know how to do pottery and i've experience with stone tools & the types of stone you can use). I think even if he did, I'd really only get put in time out if I was causing problems, and like Taiju and Yuzuriha I might have someone keeping an eye on me. Thing's between me and Tsukasa start to change when we manage to find common ground, using him to practice japanese and finding out about his sister and his feelings about wealth etc - admittedly this was Not Well convayed in the anime, but when he's beaten up while getting seashells on the beach, the adult is yelling at him bc he doesn't want kids running around and stealing from 'his' beach. And his mom sucks too. I think that's something we could bond over, having lousy times growing up. I think he'd also be sensitive to the fact that I'm so far from Home and all my friends and Family, he's very thoughtful like that.
Man this is already reallly long and i dont feel like I've really said much, but I think when it comes down to it, Tsukasa and I just share a lot of the same values. He's strong and kind and good hearted, and that makes me feel safe. He's just very caretaker coded to me and after thinking about it the last few days, i think thats something I'm really looking for in a partner. I think I also balance him out a little bit, make him look at a bigger picture and slow down to enjoy simpler things. When we start to get along a little bit, I like to think that I'd accompany him on simple outings to forage or something, or maybe I'd be able to drag him away for a little while to show him something Neat, or getting to teach him something. He teaches me how to fight a little bit as well, so that I'm better able to take care of myself.
I think that's all I've got for now, but it's nice to sit and think about it and write it down, maybe I'll do a lil more writing over the next few days :3 OH I ALMOST FORGOT, i did a star chart love compatability thing and what I got to read for free was SO FUNNY like, he's enchanted by my whimsy lmao
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The Almost Committed Relationship (one possible alternative perspective)
(Assuming this guy is a genuinely nice but very confused person and everything he said had been true)
The Consciousness
I’m going to break up with her. Yes, I have made the decision. This is the right decision.
Yes, this is probably a horrible thing to bring up to someone before a New Year’s Eve date. Yes, I might have asked her for the date three weeks in advance. But I could not drag this out any longer. Unfortunately, there are no better alternatives. It is for the best.
Yes, I might have also said at one point that we would get each other a gift. I wanted to do the couple-y thing with her, I said. Yes, I would if I had the mental energy to do so. But I don’t. I just got back from the trip with my family and friends. I am so exhausted, in every way.
I dread the conversation. Oh, it is going to be hard. But this is the only right thing to do, so I will have to do it.
I don’t know how and why it turns out this way. I didn’t want this to end, either. I tried so hard and I felt dragged away. But there is always a voice in the back of my mind saying, “This is not going to work. We are not good for each other.” At first, it was just a one-off thought, and I was able to suppress it, because I do like her a lot, and this is the most secure I’ve ever felt in a relationship. I’m willing to work on it. But during the trip with my family and my friends, when I had more alone time, the thought just got more frequent, and I just don’t see the thought going away.
Well, let me pack up her stuff for her. The purple blanket. The blueish-whiteish towel. The kitty slippers. Everything she said she liked, and I got for her. Her coffee. Her tank top and shorts. Why am I tearing up? Why am I planning to give it all to her in person? I might still care about her feelings. Right, let me also reply to her messages as usual. She did say she felt a little sad when I didn’t talk to her much during my trip. I am a nice person, and this is the right thing to do.
The subconsciousness
Oh yeah, the trip, my family. They probably won’t approve of her. Her career plan in education is never going to cut it. It is cool to work in an education organization. I mean, I’ve always enjoyed teaching and kind of have the plan to be a teacher after retiring from the private industry. The way I compromise is to volunteer at afterschool programs and be a big brother. Yeah, compromises. My parents always wanted me to do heavier science majors, and even now my dad kept telling me to switch to a higher-paying job. I would be decent at it, but I just don’t feel strongly about it. My dad rarely approves of me anyway. My mom just listens to my dad. I know that my parents care about me, but they don’t care about what I really like doing. We are just never emotionally close. It is what it is. Yeah, so, it is cool that she’s passionate about education equality. I do, too. But this is just not gonna work. Now that my family sees her Bluetooth connected to my car. They might ask. I don’t bother to explain.
It would be nice if I could have someone to finally accept what I really like, though. It feels secure and supported. I don’t like to be pushed to do things that I don’t like to do, like how my ex-es do not respect my personal space and look down upon me for things I don’t know how to do, although I am willing to do acts of service to show care for the most part, until I feel like my efforts are not appreciated. She doesn’t do any of the problematic behaviors. I do like this about her a lot.
After talking to her for a few weeks, I did not bother to talk to anyone else. I was super happy to have met her. At one point, I started to check my phone to see if she replied to my messages. I wanted to see her photos at work. I asked if we were not seeing anyone else and confirmed it was exclusive. She seemed very excited about it. We started to plan future dates. That was when the voice started to pop up, that this might not work out. I was not sure if I could commit to things that far out in the future. I mean, I’ve not known her for that long, either. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I also didn’t want to lose her at the moment.
She was a little confused about the difference between exclusivity and a committed relationship. I was not sure, either, but she seemed to be looking forward to it already. I looked it up on the internet about why girls wanted commitment when guys didn’t. Don’t really trust what’s on the internet but maybe just this once. Some said that it was because guys just want the benefit of the relationship but don’t want to offer emotional support. But this did not feel like my case. Maybe I just needed more time. I needed to work on it. I thought I would be ready in a month or so. I would be introducing her as my girlfriend if she came to my next friend group hangout soon.
But I just didn’t feel about her. Or did I?
Well now that I think about it, she’s not that perfect. She said she did song covers but she didn’t sing that well. Her freshman-15 has never gone away. She looked different when she had her makeup off. Her texts are kind of annoying. I’d rather have fun with my friends. Oh yeah, I didn’t have fun with her that much. She probably wouldn’t approve of my friends. Some of the things she said were just dumb. She is not capable of taking care of me. I can probably do better. Oh, that’s a dangerous thought. I should not think like that, but I can’t help. No, we are not good for each other.
The aftermath
The time had come. I came to her door and dropped everything I bought for her. She saw that I was not okay. I told her something was wrong. I told her my decision. I knew it was a blindsided thing to hear before a New Year’s Eve date. I said I was sorry a thousand times.
At first, she was quite calm as if she had expected this to happen. Then she broke down and said it was unfair for her to just accept it. But the problem was not fixable. I don’t know why. I hugged her and comforted her. I thought she received it pretty well. Telling her tonight would be better because she might have more time to find someone else to go on with the original plan.
She asked me what she should think of this relationship. “It felt…like an almost committed relationship?” I said.
I felt sad and it was painful to break up, but I had to do it. I thanked her for the good memories and left.
The first two days felt like a relief. I finally don’t have to answer her messages. I do still feel lonely without someone bothering me, though. Never mind, there are plenty of girls much better on the app. Let me just start over again.
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Tag 10 people you want to get to know better or just participate haha. I was tagged by the talented and wonderful @blarrghe which y’all should def check out all the amazing art/writing they create!
Relationship Status: Been with my bf for more than 2 years now!
Favorite Color: Red. Always been the color I’ve always chosen/gravitated towards haha.
Favorite Food: Oof, this be a hard one since I love all food but I always find myself craving pizza, so I’m gonna say that lol.
Song Stuck in Your Head Right Now: I have two right now! American Teenager by Ethel Cain and I Can’t Drive by Crawlers
Last Thing You Googled: Oh no lol. “Holy Wars band” I was listening to their album they released this year, today for the first time and it’s really fucking good, definitely suggest listening to it!
Dream Trip: Would love to go to Mexico or Ireland just trying new foods where ever I go, although I’d probably never do this cause I have way too much social anxiety and broke af lol
Time: 3:59 PM
Last Book You Read: Cloaked in Shadow by Ben Alderson. I never finished the book cause I got bored after the first five chapters 😅. I don’t really read books anymore (was forced too much as a child to read for grades that now when I force myself to read a book, I feel like it’s homework lol) but I’ve been reading a lot of Dragon Age/Mass Effect fanfiction so that counts lol.
Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: The Meanings of Macho: Being a Man in Mexico City by Matthew C. Gutmann. Back in college, I was taking some medical anthropology classes for my minor and really enjoyed the books I read there. One of my professors actually gifted me that book when I talked to her about potentially switching my major from biochemistry to medical anthropology (which I never did because I ended up falling in love with plants, switching over to botany, and then dropping out of college cause of health problems, finances, and current state of the world but that’s a story for another time 😉) and really enjoyed its analysis of cultural expectations within Mexico and the intersectionality of gender.
Last Book You Hated Reading: So off the top of my head, I don’t remember the title and I really don’t want to look it up, there was this book that one of my friends was forced to read for their Cultural Psychology class that the professor wrote and it was racist, transphobic, homophobic, and ableist af. I read it cause I wanted to see how bad it was, and it was baddddd. Apparently, after that there was a whole investigation about it, the professor was fired for like year but then the university kinda went back on their word and rehired the professor. So yeah, hate that book!
Bonus:
Favorite Thing to Cook/Bake: Oooohh this is hard, cause I love to cook. It’s one of my destressors lol. I always love to make pizza haha but I’ve recently been learning how to cook naan and just trying to perfect the recipe so it continues to be consistent when I make them.
Favorite Craft to do in Your Spare Time: Ooooh this is where I kinda suck at things haha. Worldbuilding??? I play DND and have kinda become the DM for most of the campaigns I play with my friends, so I do worldbuild a lot and it’s fun! Also, teaching myself how to draw cause like I wanna draw my OCs too lol.
Most Niche Dislike: I hate to put foods in bowls when they’re not a bowl food. No, I will not explain further lmao.
Opinion on Circus(es) Now and in History: Uhhhhh, I don’t really know much about circuses and have never really been to one... but have heard terrible things about them!
Do You Have a Sense of Direction and If Not What is the Worst Way You Ever Got Lost: I feel like I do but no one ever believes me lol. Although, I’ve only every gotten lost if a map/GPS I’m using is not good, but aside from that I’ve always found my way to places.
Anyone who sees this, def join in. Don’t really have anyone to tag since I recently rejoined Tumblr since high school lol
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My Brother's Best Friend Is The One For Me
Wally West x Batsis!Reader One-Shot
Word Count: 3.6K
Warnings: Explicit Language
Author's Note: Got to rereading my Batsis fics and came across the "What A Flashy Romance" and wanted to do another one with Wally because I love him. Enjoy! -Thorne
Being the middle child and also the only girl in the Batfamily meant two things:
1. She had four brothers that treated her like a porcelain doll, despite the fact that she could throw a punch at 336 PSI.
And
2. She followed an unspoken rule that Dick and Jason’s friends were off limits when it came to dating.
In all, neither of those things were major problems. She’d learned at a young age how to avoid Dick and Jason’s overbearing-protective-brother-modes, and Tim and Damian were younger, so she didn’t have to worry about them. The second one was also avoidable—most of her older brothers’ friends were the same, and she wasn’t around most of them to develop any feelings.
Well, there was Wally, but it was just a crush. A stupid, little school-girl crush—that she’d never really grown out of—that didn’t matter in the slightest. Except whenever Dick brought him over to the house and she had to pretend that sitting next to him didn’t make her heart race like she’d run a mile.
And the most annoying thing about the whole crush is that she couldn’t tell if Wally was ever interested in her or not. Most of Dick’s friends, Garth, Kyle, Roy, they treated her like a little sister—hell, they even said “Love you lil sis!” to her regularly. And yet, Wally didn’t. Now, there was the occasional head pat, but even that was an affectionate gesture that siblings and SO’s did all the time. It was infuriating, and so was Wally—but she was going to sort it all out the next time he came over because the worst thing he could say was “No”, and either she needed to hear that…or “Yes”.
***
Normal Sundays for the Wayne household usually meant Ultimate Waffle Breakfast and sitting on your ass all day until patrol—it was the one day of the week where they could do anything and nothing and didn’t have to stick to schedules. Everyone loved Sundays, especially (Y/N), because it meant that all of her family was home, even Jason (who tried to deny that he enjoyed coming home to hang out, but if that mile long grin was any help, he was lying). And while everyone was home, that usually meant that everybody’s friends were coming over too.
***
She swiped the syrup out of Jason’s hand when he swung it back around, grinning at him when he glared at her.
“I was gonna use that, (Y/N),” he griped, and she shrugged, uncapping the bottle.
She tipped it over and watched the syrup lazily pour out of the container onto her waffles.
“You were taking too long.” Her eyes twinkled with humor. “I guess you were as…slow as molasses.”
While most of the table groaned at her terrible joke, Dick snorted into his milk, causing it to splatter on his plate and across the table.
“Nice one,” he coughed, wiping his face and the dark oak surface.
(Y/N) bowed dramatically. “Well, I did learn from the best.” When Dick’s face lit up, she turned to Alfred and smiled. “Alfie, thank you for teaching me your ways.”
The old butler merely tipped his head, a hidden smile crossing his lips at the way the eldest son’s jaw went slack. She turned her attention to Bruce who was quietly chewing, eyes following along the research paper she’d asked him to check out.
“Dad, what’s on your agenda for today?”
He swallowed and flicked a line out with a red pen, etching his own comment in the margin. “Lucius has a few ideas about some new gadgets he wanted to run by me.” Another line went out. “I’ll call him after breakfast.” Bruce looked at her. “You?”
(Y/N) nodded at the paper in his hands, then slapped Jason’s who was reaching over to take a piece of bacon from her plate. “Waiting for you to finish tearing me a new one so I can redo the paper.” She cut into the waffle with the side of her fork. “Once I salvage what little scientific dignity you’ve left me with, I’ll probably laze around.”
“You mean what you do normally?” Bruce quipped, grinning when she glowered at him; his eyes went back to her paper. “You’re doing well so far.”
She huffed. “Tell that to every red line you’ve marked out in that paragraph.”
He flashed the paper. “I’m writing in the margins how to change it. This isn’t a dissertation, sweetheart. You’re allowed to make mistakes. We all do.”
(Y/N) grumbled as her cheeks warmed and she went back to her plate as the conversation flowed around her.
Most of it was the discussion of what everyone was planning on doing, Damian was going to play video games, Tim was going to join him (which she knew was going to be fun while the moment lasted until the petty sibling rivalry got in the way and their gaming dwindled into a physical fight that she and probably Dick were going to have to break up), Jason was going to use the workbench in the cave to upgrade some gear, and Dick apparently,
“Wally and Garth are gonna come over later and hang out.”
She paused, mid-stab of her fork and looked at up. “Wally’s coming over?”
He nodded. “And Garth. We were gonna go to the mall and get some new clothes.”
Jason snorted, laying an arm over the backs of Tim and (Y/N)’s chairs. “Spending money with daddy’s credit card, Dickie?”
Dick smirked. “Just like you.” Jason merely matched his grin, and while the entire table was cracking up at Bruce’s frown, (Y/N) was silent, heart beating faster at the thought of seeing Wally.
“(Y/N)?” She startled and looked up at Dick.
“Huh?”
“I asked if you were okay. You got quiet all of the sudden.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Yeah, just thought about all of the corrections I’m gonna have to do because somebody CAN’T STOP MARKING OUT MY PARAGRAPHS.” Bruce merely smiled and knocked out another line.
It was a lie. It was the biggest lie she’d told right next to the one she told when Bruce had asked her where she was on prom night her senior year a few years ago—she was totally not saving a different sector of the universe with Kyle Rayner, she was dancing with Sam Reilly all night—she strongly believed her dad knew the truth—Batman knew everything.
Bruce handed the paper back to her and she groaned as she scanned the red lines on every page. It was going to take her hours to go over this.
Jason leaned over and read the title, “Cellular Division and Mutation Under Extreme Elemental Circumstances…a composition by (Y/N) Wayne.” He cocked a dark brow. “Go big or go home, huh, baby girl?”
(Y/N) hummed. “Doctor Halberd wanted us to pick challenging topics for the research paper this term.” A crooked smile crossed her lips. “I’m nothing if not ambitious about proving I’m smarter than everyone else.”
“You need another source,” Bruce murmured, sipping the steaming black coffee. “One-fourteen is good, but I’d go for one-fifteen.”
She groaned and dropped her head. “Are you kidding me? I had enough trouble gathering that many.”
“Why don’t you use Barry?” Tim piped up, mouth full of whip cream and strawberries.
“Master Timothy, we do not talk with our mouth full,” Alfred admonished, and Tim blushed.
(Y/N)’s head shot up and she stared at her brother. “That’s actually a good idea. Speedsters would make for perfect references about cellular division.” An idea popped into her head and she glanced at Dick. “And since Wally is com—”
“Nope,” Dick interrupted, pointing at her. “Wally is coming over to hang out, not to be poked and prodded to finish a paper.”
She let out a whine and turned to Bruce. “Dad, tell Dick to let me at least talk to Wally about it.”
Bruce turned his attention onto Dick. “Let your sister talk to Wally about her paper.”
“Oh, come on,” he complained and (Y/N) stood from her seat, hurrying around the table to stand behind Dick’s seat.
She draped herself over his shoulders, tucking her chin in the crook of his neck. “I promise I won’t be annoying if you let me come with you. I’ll ask two questions every thirty minutes and I’ll go do shopping on my own, so I won’t be in the way.” (Y/N) craned her neck and pulled the most pitiful puppy eyes she could. “Please?”
Dick’s eyes darted to her face and then he looked away. Just one more push.
“Please frate?” she begged and when his eyes went wide from the usage of his native tongue, she knew she’d won him over.
He deflated and let out a sigh. “Fine,” he grumbled. “You can come with us.”
(Y/N) squealed and pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, as she grabbed the paper and hurried towards the door. She halted and spun around, looking at her father.
“What do I need to be most specific about?”
“Division under elemental circumstances.”
She glowered at him. “No shit Sherlock. Specifics.”
“Molecular division under terrestrial gamma-ray flashes.”
“That’ll work,” (Y/N) nodded and exited to room.
Jason looked out the door then back to his brothers. “She’s way to excited about science sometimes.” They merely laughed.
***
She raised the red lace, cold shoulder V-neck shirt to her chest before frowning, and switching it with the full lace blue shirt with mini golden lightning bolt charms hanging off the trim. After a moment, she pulled the blue one down and sighed.
“You know, if you want to impress him, I’d wear the red shirt.”
She jumped and barely managed to suppress the scream that was coming up in her throat as she swiveled around to face her door. Jason stood in the doorway, a knowing look on his face. She could play this one of two ways: she could be truthful, or she could lie—she chose the latter.
“What do you mean?” He snorted and walked into her room, taking a seat at her desk.
“I mean if you’re trying to impress Wally, wear the shirt that’s the color of his suit, (Y/N).” She looked away and into the mirror, but she couldn’t escape the eyes boring into her back.
“Is it that obvious?” she asked quietly, and he laughed.
“That you’re head over heels for Dick’s best friend? Oh yeah. Totally.”
She sighed and sat on her bed, pulling the red top over her torso. “It’s just a crush.”
“Seems like more than a crush to me, baby girl.”
(Y/N) pulled the fabric down and looked at him. “Are you gonna tell Dick?”
Jason scoffed. “Do I look like a narc to you?”
She cocked a brow and deadpanned, “Just the other night you told dad that Damian lifted Two-Face’s wallet when he was being put in a cruiser.”
“Well, that wasn’t something important,” he countered and nodded at her. “This is.” He paused and shrugged. “Nah, I’m not gonna tell Dickhead. Play this out however you see fit, baby girl.”
(Y/N) stared at him for a moment then averted her gaze and let out a sigh; Jason huffed.
“That sounds like a heavy sigh, (Y/N). What’s wrong?”
She shrugged. “I don’t even know if Wally would be interested in me. He’s him and I’m me.”
Jason stood and walked over, kneeling in front of her. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
(Y/N) met his eyes. “Anytime he’s had a girlfriend she’s always been super strong or really outspoken.”
“And you’re not?” he quipped, causing her to huff.
“You know what I mean, Jay.”
He nodded. “Okay, so you’re not an Amazon or shoving your head up someone’s ass for a story. But you’re you.”
“And that means?”
“You’re the only daughter of the World’s Greatest Detective who’s a wicked smart science major by day and a badass vigilante by night.” He cupped her cheeks. “You are intelligent, warmhearted, talented, and absolutely beautiful.” Jason smushed her cheeks together and grinned as she giggled. “And if Wally doesn’t see any of what I just said, then he’s a damn fool and not worth your time. You hear me, baby girl?”
She nodded. “I hear you.”
Jason gave her a firm nod and let go, standing to his feet. “Now come on let’s go do your makeup.”
(Y/N) blinked. “You can do makeup?”
“Baby girl, I can do a lot of things. Now hurry up. That razor sharp eye liner and golden eyeshadow isn’t going to do itself.”
***
She waited beside Dick with a pleasant smile on her face, and despite the fluttering heartbeat in her chest, Jason’s pep talk kept running through her head and with every passing moment, she felt her confidence rising. He was right, if she told Wally and he didn’t feel the same, then it was his loss and her gain to move on and find someone else.
A black sedan pulled up at the manor and the passenger window rolled down, revealing Wally at the wheel and Garth in the passenger’s seat. Dick waved at them.
“Hey guys,” he greeted. “How was the drive over?”
“Oh, you know, we saw three carjacking’s and one armed robbery,” Garth quipped. “I assume that’s normal for Gotham though.”
“It’s a bit below average actually,” (Y/N) piped up. “Hi Garth. Hi Wally.”
Wally smiled and Garth waved in return as the two siblings started getting in the car.
“You’re coming with us, (Y/N)?” Wally questioned and she nodded.
“Do you want me to lie to you or give you the truth?”
He chuckled. “I’m always open for a good story.”
“I wanted to buy out Victoria’s Secret and piss off any boyfriends who are in hot water with their girlfriends.” The guys laughed and she admitted, “Truth though, I need one last source for a research paper.”
“Gonna find that source shopping?” Garth asked and (Y/N) caught Wally’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.
“Actually, my last source is Wally.”
They fell silent and looked at her, though the speedster’s focus was on the road.
“What are you gonna source Wally on?” The Atlantean inquired.
“My paper is over cellular mutation under distress from elemental conditions.” She smiled at Wally. “Our speedster here, is a walking subject perfect for the paper. I can only hope that he agrees to be a willing participant.”
Wally chuckled. “I’d be willing to part with a few secrets for you. Of course, I’d have to—”
“Remain anonymous.” (Y/N) winked. “I’m sure my professor would be okay with me citing ‘The Flash’ so long as I had a picture with him to back it up.”
“I like pictures,” he murmured, pulling into the parking lot.
“That’s good to know,” she replied and when he put the car in park, she took her purse and added, “So I’ll leave you boys to do your shopping and Wally, I’ll text you any questions I have.”
“You’re not gonna hang around?” Garth asked and she shook her head.
“Nah, I don’t wanna be the annoying little sister who follows her older brother and his friends around.” She smiled at them. “Besides, Dick was kind enough to let me come along. Least I can do is stay out of your way.”
(Y/N) opened the door and waved at them. “Text me when you’re ready to leave and I’ll meet you back here.”
***
Despite the initial joke that she was going to buy out the lingerie store, there was actually some truth in the statement, and she drew her fingers over one of the lace baby dolls as she looked at her phone, grinning like a dope at Wally’s response.
Well, I wouldn’t say I’d grow a second skin from how fast my cells regenerate, but I can make my body heal instantaneously. -W
Can you regenerate limbs or major organs? –(Y/I)
Major organs or useful ones? -W
(Y/N) paused at his response and thought for a moment. It was risky. Sending the text, she was thinking about was risky, but it’d sure get her point across that she was into him. With her heart hammering in her chest, she pushed send and stuck her phone in her pocket.
Whichever ones are useful to you, Wally? ;) –(Y/N)
Her phone didn’t buzz for a good minute, and Wally took less than a second to reply, so he was doing one of two things: A.) Telling Dick that his younger sister sent a flirty text, or B.) Trying to figure out how to let her down easy. (Y/N) didn’t know which one was worse. Her hip buzzed and she inhaled shakily, pulling her phone out of her pocket with one eye cracked open to see how screwed she was.
Do you have a useful one in mind, beautiful? -W
She had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from letting out the biggest gasp any human had ever made, and she nervously looked around her to make sure no one else was staring at her. She grinned as she replied to him.
Oh, I could think of one…or two or three…Why? Is there gonna be a pop quiz over this later? I’ll have you know I’m an excellent test taker. –(Y/N)
Is that so? Well, what happens if you were to fail this particular pop quiz, (Y/N)? -W
I guess you’d have to stay the night for a study session and help me make a better grade ;) –(Y/I)
As she waited for another response, someone’s hand touched the small of her back and she reacted, immediately stepping away from the offending touch to spin on them. Her eyes went wide when she saw Wally standing before her, a grin on his face, phone in his hand.
“I think an overnight study session is possible, (Y/N).”
Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly, like a fish until she finally got her brain to work and asked, “I thought you were shopping with Dick and Garth?”
He shrugged. “Told Dick you asked me an advanced question that’d be easier to answer in person than over text.” He wiggled his brows. “You know, advanced equations and scientific gibberish.”
(Y/N) huffed a laugh and turned back around, trying to ignore the heat in her cheeks as she picked up one of the teddies. And when she realized what it looked like, she only felt more flustered. Crimson with baby blue trimming and was practically a shoelace.
“Well, that’sa hint if there ever was one,” Wally quipped, and she pulled the lingerie out of his line of sight.
“It was just the first one I grabbed!” she exclaimed, snapping her mouth shut when people looked over at them. Her cheeks felt like they were wildfires, and she pressed her head against the cool metal of the rack, sighing with what little relief it provided.
“You know, (Y/N),” he started softly. “If you’re not comfortable, this doesn’t have to go anywhere. I can forget this ever happened if you want me to.” (Y/N) opened her eyes and peered at him, at the concern but also the kindness in his gaze.
“I just—” she murmured and trailed off before letting out a sigh. “It’s kinda complicated.”
“Okay,” Wally nodded. “My mouth might work faster than my brain sometimes but lay it on me.”
She cracked a smile and thought back on Jason’s words. If Wally doesn’t see any of what I just said, then he’s a damn fool and not worth your time.
(Y/N) took a deep breath and looked at him, admitting, “Wally, I have…feelings for you.” His eyes widened and though she felt the sting of embarrassment, she pushed out her words. “It’s stupid, like one of those dumb childhood crushes that just sticks with you, you know?”
She averted her gaze and looked at her peep toe heels. “I just don’t wanna screw anything up because even if you don’t feel anything like I do, I don’t wanna lose you as a friend. Because I do value your friendship.” She sighed. “And Dick. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable about coming over to see him if there’s a chance you’ll have to see me too. I just—”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Wally interrupted gently, a smile growing on his face. “You’re thinking way big here, (Y/N). Bigger than you need to right now.”
She met his eyes. “Right now?” she repeated, and he reached out, taking her hand in his. His fingers felt tingly against her palm and he smiled.
“I like you, (Y/N).”
She blinked at him, practically dumbfounded. “You…you do?”
Wally nodded and confessed, “Have for a couple years, but I didn’t wanna make a move not knowing if you were interested.” His cheeks tinged pink, and he said, “But I’m glad you are. Like super glad.” (Y/N) giggled, suddenly feeling really foolish for all her worry and Wally let out a chuckle too.
She stared at him for a moment, relishing the coolness of his skin before pulling away, toying with the teddy in her other hand.
“So, about tonight…you staying over?”
Wally let out a groan and looked between her and the lingerie. “Probably, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get away long enough to spend some time alone with you.”
(Y/N) let out a ‘pfft’ and winked. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Flash. You are the fastest man alive.”
“You’re into quickies? Good to know,” he grinned.
“Shut up,” she giggled.
#batfamily x reader#batfamily x reader imagines#batfamily x reader imagine#batfamily imagines#batfamily imagine#batsis x batfam#batsis x batfamily#batsis imagine#batsis imagines#batsis x batfamily imagines#wally west x reader#wally west x reader imagines#wally west x reader imagine#wally west imagines#wally west imagine#dc comics#dc imagines#dc imagine#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#wally west#the flash
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["HOW SEX WORKERS TAUGHT ME HOW TO HUSTLE
Summer, 1995, Friday, and Species were blowing up at the box office. Groove Theory's "Tell Me" and Notorious B.I. G.'s "One More Chance (Remix)" were in heavy rotation on my Sony Walkman. I had just graduated from high school in Philadelphia, and despite having struggled with what felt like unreachable standards of black masculinity since childhood, my challenges with my sexual orientation nearly vanished when I felt the lips of another guy for the first time. There was no great debate in my soul. The natural emotion I felt from a man was something I never felt with a woman. Also, I found people who loved me and provided a space for conversation and freedom. I wasn't alone.
My friends and I were fixtures on Thirteenth Street. Before the City of Brotherly Love was gentrified, the strip was known as "Freak Street," especially after midnight, when most of the white gays headed home and the black and Latin LGBT kids held court. We were street urchins who terrified the white gay community and black heterosexuals. We didn't believe in same-sex marriage; we were anti-marriage. We proudly called ourselves dykes, trannies, fags, queens, butches, and drags— all unacceptable language by today's standards. The intersection of class, race, and sexuality was evident in our unique slang, tribal house music, and crafty survival skills.
Like clockwork, I strolled up Thirteenth Street every night, trekking to the club, which didn't open until one a.m. and didn't get hot for another two hours. There was usually a group of sex workers on the corner of Sansom and Thirteenth, the majority of whom were black and Latin trans women. Initially, I was terrified by these women. I had no experience with them; they had been torn down by a mid 1990's economy, never allowed in the workforce, and education was inaccessible to them due to rampant discrimination. Because of my internalized prejudices, their exterior shook my soul.
For weeks, I hurried past their gaze as I dashed up Thirteenth Street. These were the same women I would see in the club later that night, but in my stupid mind, I feared being associated with them. They could feel my disdain for them.
However, one particular woman was deeply insulted that I wouldn't speak to her when we crossed paths. "Hey, faggot!" she screamed after we locked eyes and I turned away. Attempting to channel a "Freak Like Me"-era Adina Howard in red leather hot pants, a black corset, and a short hairdo, she spat, "I see your ass down here every weekend, bitch— you ain't gonna speak?"
"I don't know you!" I shot back, startling myself.
"Mothafucka, I know you and you ain't that cute!" she sassed as I sped up. "Didn't your mama teach you to speak to people when you see them? I'm a damn human being!"
"These young faggots..." I heard another woman mumble in a tone that was more disappointed than angry.
The next night, Adina spotted me from a distance walking up the other side of Thirteenth Street. I couldn't believe she could see me from that far away. "There he go!" she hollered. I moved quickly, but she stomped across the street, necklaces, bracelets, and earrings jingling in unison. Adina stood before me, blocking my escape. I was scared for my life.
"You are gonna see me," she demanded in a surprisingly calm voice.
It was at that point something in my teenage brain clicked. I had not truly seen her before that moment. It occurred to me that I had often walked by her like she was garbage on the corner, the same way angry heterosexuals leered at my friends and me if they accidentally wandered down Thirteenth Street after midnight. Although I was never a sex worker, Adina and I were both part of the black and Latin LGBT community, living on the fringes of society.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, eyes down as I squeezed my hands together in terror.
"You are sorry! You're sorry and you're tired!" Adina shouted. "Now, next time you walk down the goddamn street, you make sure you show some respect and speak to us. Got it?" I nodded my head. "Go on now to that club."
From that moment on I made it a point to see Adina.
Every night I walked down the street, I gave a hello to Adina and her friends. Eventually I walked down their side of the street and stopped to talk. She illuminated so much for a young, impressionable teenager, and in her own way, she taught me life skills. She could clock someone's story with one glance: "He's gonna wanna get fucked," "He's gonna be cheap," or "He's gonna be a rough client." More often than not, she was right.
"How are you able to figure someone out so quickly?" I asked her.
She smiled. "All you have to do is ask one question," she explained. "As long as you nod your head and look like you fucking care, they'll tell you their life story." As frightful as she originally appeared to me, Adina owned that superpower and could flip the switch, making anyone she chose feel instantly comfortable."]
clay cane, live through this: surviving the intersections of sexuality, god, and race
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HAIKYUU!! FICS
so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great
MHA one is up!!
ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!
KageHina
plain as day - emleewrites
In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.
In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments
Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.
I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments
Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.
Chaotic Neutral - akaraka
Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?
1: Anonymous: see title
2: Anonymous: curry king
3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?
4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above
jellyfish - mysterytwin
At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.
TsukkiYama
Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta
A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.
The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw
"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.
No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”
Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.
IwaOi
Terrarium - sausaged
He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).
At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?
Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?
A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.
They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao
"You're in love with him."
Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.
"Yeah," he says instead.
He's never been good at lying, anyway.
bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody
Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.
my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn
Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.
Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.
(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)
KuroKen
Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki
Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.
the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot
Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.
Accidentally In Love - todxrxki
Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"
Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.
the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony
TW: major character death
Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives
even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot
Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.
you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot
Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.
teach me the way home - icespyders
“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”
Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.
in this universe - crossbelladonna
Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.
All this, and a glass of water.
Beginning’s End - todxrxki
Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.
All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki
“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”
“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”
“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.
BokuAka
just to miss the sun - rosevtea
Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.
Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn
After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.
bitter - silvercistern
He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.
Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.
And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.
In Another Life - LittleLuxray
TW: major character death
Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.
The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.
120% yes - pissedofsandwich
TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya
in reply to @bokkun_official
Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!
Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays
It happens right after training camp.
Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.
But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.
daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar
Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.
SakuAtsu
The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)
Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”
(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)
A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol
In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#ships#kagehina#daisuga#asanoya#tsukkiyama#iwaoi#kuroken#bokuaka#kageyama#hinata#daichi#sugawara#asahi#nishinoya#tsukishima#yamaguchi#iwaizumi#oikawa#kuroo#kenma#bokuto#akaashi#sakuatsu#sakusa#atsumu
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