I don't know where I'm going with this, but the other day my mom and I were having a conversation about her starting up a GSA in her office at work. She was telling me about the people she's been meeting and what she wants to do. She was telling me how she doesn't really want to make a float for the local Pride Parade, not because she doesn't think Pride is important, but because she wants to help the people who aren't able to go to Pride. She was telling me how she wants to find every resource possible and put them everywhere she can, all because she's learned through me that there are plenty of people who are struggling. She told me that I made her realise she cares. She told me that my coming out and my experiences so far have made her want to take action, because she knows how hard it's been for me.

My initial coming out was not an ideal scenario, I was peer pressured and met with indifference. After coming out, my parents would recommend lots of movies to me. Recommendations that I would dismiss as their usual weird 80s/90s media preferences. Movies that I have recently found out are monumental pieces of art about being gay or trans. Movies they would lovingly quote. Movies they wanted me to watch with them. Movies about people like me.

Before I came out as trans, I was having a rough night and asked my dad if we could go for a drive. It was late and dark and we were all alone on the dirt road. I remember telling him I don't think I even meet the base criteria for being a lesbian, and he told me I didn't have to have short hair and be tough if that wasn't who I was. That I could be any kind of lesbian I wanted to be. Even though I hadn't told anyone about my gender struggles, his advice really stuck with me. I can be any kind of person I want to be.

My father came back from a dragon boat competition in America with a little rainbow pin for me. My mother got pronoun pins that she wears to work. My aunt gave me my first binder.

The mother of some kids I went to school with runs a local transgender support network. I found out about it through an event they were hosting that my school's GSA was advertising. I went to many events with my friends. My parents would often drive us all. I remember the laughs and the tears and connections I felt. Family friends have a kid who came out recently and my parents told them about the local organisation. My mom ran a donation drive through her work for it. A coworker of hers told her she was able to help her kids after finding out about it through the drive. A whole spiderweb of connections and care.

I've had kids I used to babysit reach out to me. I've been the first person they've told about being gay or bi or trans.

I remember when I was younger and I accidentally got outed to my all-girls cabin at bible camp, and immediately responded with shame and embarrassment. I remember finding the small handful of other kids who were like me. I remember them consoling me over having to wear a dress, how maybe next year I can cut off all my hair and wear a suit. I remember sneaking out on the last night to hold hands and watch the stars.

I came out as gay when I was 14. I came out as trans when I was 17. I'm 20 now. I still think about the people I've met, however brief, and I wonder how they're doing, if they're in their 20s. I hope so.

I think I will watch those movies tomorrow.

Baby's First Pride

I'm 16 and a half years old. I came out to my parents inspired by a story at my school's GSA - just walk up the stairs and call it out. I was terrified, but they were accepting, and I learnt that my brother has trans friends and that Mom even experimented with girls when she was a teen. It's 5:10 PM, so it's probably time to go to the pride event Mom has been talking about all week. She said her boss told her about it, and that it's all ages. I get dressed in my Hatsune Miku cosplay, drape my Aromantic pride flag around my shoulders, and tie the ends in a reef knot around my neck to wear it as a cape.

I go downstairs, putting my Miku wallet in my bag, and take a short video of me twirling around to send it to my friends captioned 'ARO MIKU IS GOING TO PRIDE.' When I get outside, my parents and Mom's friend coo at my outfit, saying I look nice. They say goodbye to Mom's friend and they get ready, and they stop at Walmart to buy 'pride gear' to try and match my look. They get me pins, because they know I love pins.

I listen to my playlist of Magical Mirai albums as Dad drives us to the pride event. He does an illegal U-turn, and I tell him cops aren't allowed at pride, so we're okay. We park.

When we get there, the first thing we notice is all the food trucks. We ate before we came here, because they didn't think there'd be food. The first thing we do is Mom and Dad get alcoholic canned drinks, and they later buy me a cold vanilla latte at a different booth. We start walking around.

Mom's more interested in the concert being held by a queer artist who's name I didn't catch, and she jokes about us going to mosh there. I tell her it's dangerous and that I'm wearing my binder right now, and my dad comments that he didn't even notice.

While we're standing and waiting around, Dad perplexedly exclaims that there's a bar. I tell him as a joke that of course there's a bar, this is pride. He doesn't get it, so I explain the history of gay bars and the Mafia and all of that, and tell him the original pride parade was a protest where parking meters were uprooted and bricks were thrown at cops.

We start walking around to the several booths of queer creatives selling their art, and my eyes are battling between scouting for pins and looking at all the kinds of people here. It's truly all ages, from seniors to toddlers. I see as many visibly disabled and plus-size people as I do visibly abled and skinny people. When we first started walking in to the event, we saw a person in a cutesy lolita-styled outfit with cat ears and tail in the trans colours, in front of someone embracing their trans flag.

As I look around, I see various flags: bi, pan, lesbian, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid. On a couple people's shirts I see the ace flag. But as far as I'm aware, I'm the only person here in this entire crowd wearing the Aromantic flag. It's bittersweet, to be the sole representation of your people.

I see people in all styles of clothing as well: goth, punk, alternative, grunge, trendy, cute, casual, retro. I see some people standing out in absolutely fabulous outfits with sequins everywhere. I see a dog in a gay-coloured tutu, and a person with pride-coloured butterfly wings on their arms. Half the people here have dyed hair of some kind.

We sit down and take a break. It's near the mini waterpark nearby, which makes it fresh and cool-feeling and perfect for a break. A child with endless joys in their heart ends up spraying us with water, and we get a move on. I go around to multiple booths and buy an assortment of pins, one that says "I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT" and one with a fuzzy Aro-coloured animal on it.

When we sit for a final break, I find two dirty books on the ground as Mom hands me a progress flag pin she found. I pick up the books. One is a 'queer history tour' of Edmonton brochure that has multiple locations of down-town and their associated queer histories. The other book is a mental wellness book targeted mainly at Indigenous folk, but I decide to take it any way since a lot of it advice applies to everyone. I show my Mom the page on ableist language, that talks about replacing words like 'crazy,' 'insane,' and 'psycho' with words like 'wild,' 'bananas,' and 'ridiculous.'

When we start walking back to the car, we see a group of four dressed ridiculously. One of them has massive, bouncing balloon tits, and they stand out the most. I'm afraid of what my parent's reaction will be, and this is what I told them to be nice about before we came, because pride was and still is a protest. They laugh and move on. I'm a little surprised that they're so cool with it.

We stop by the truck at the very start of the walk as Mom comments on it. It's a kink gear store. I stare in awe at the bear pride flag and leather puppy pride flag, telling my family about them. I have to ask one of them to confirm it's the leather puppy flag because I'm not wholly sure, and the people running the truck smile as they teach me about it.

We drive home, and as we walk back to the house, I think about Mom and Dad's reaction to the person with the balloon tits. I think about how they laughed kindly at one of the biggest displays of societal norm defiance I've ever seen. And then I think about the openly disabled people I saw with their pretty canes and wheelchairs, I think about the punks with fishnets and leather jackets and high boots, I think about the emo kandi kids with their black-and-rainbow stockings and vibrant kandi cuffs, I think about the booth run by African black people that stood for trans black liberation, I think about the truck run by kinksters decorated with historical flags, I think about the two feminine-presenting people I saw kissing and the transmasculine gay couple I saw holding hands.

I think about all of us, the societal outcasts that we are, proudly displaying what outcasted us in the first place, without a single person yelling that we're faggots, or trannies, or cripples, or fatasses, or freaks.

And for the first time in a long time, in all my childhood where I was ostracized from the girls for being too tomboyish from the boys for being born a girl, so badly until I started ostracizing myself, I know that I'm safe and welcome, somewhere in the world.

Fics With No Angst Or Trigger Warnings (2) Masterlist

part one

A Piece of Me (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan is obsessed with Polaroids. Phil loves kissing Dan.

Absolutely Smitten (I’ll Never Let You Go) - manchestereyes

Summary: In which Dan is a much-adored primary school music teacher, and Phil is just the science teacher who can’t keep his mind off of him. But when the students notice and try to get in on the action, will Phil finally work up the courage to ask Dan out?

after all this time, i'm still into you (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: As Dan and Phil move house for the last time, Phil reflects on various crucial moments in their relationship.

attention wins your affections and oh, how i love it so (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan and Phil dog-sit a friend's dog and Dan realises just how much Phil acts like a dog with how he expresses affection and Dan falls a little bit more in love.

baby blue and bubblegum pink (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan paints his nails. Phil wants to try it

cat calendar (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil take a break during their cat calendar photoshoot.

Colourful Coincidences - phanimist

Summary: Dan meets Phil in his lecture hall one day, sharing nothing but a small smile. When their friendship starts to grow and expand into other things, Dan expands into more creative ways of expressing how he feels, even if he doesn't let Phil see his notebook of poetry right away.

Fur-Ever (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dog dads Dan and Phil marry their dogs, in preparation for their own big day

His World (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan opens the door and before him stands his world.

He's finally home.

How Far We’ve Come (ao3) - angelszn (artbabe)

Summary: Phil asks Dan to move in with him.

I Think I've Loved You Before (ao3) - milfbilvy

Summary: There is nothing Phil is more sure of than the fact that he and Dan were meant to find each other in every life.

I'd Still Pick You (ao3) - dnpdab (orphan_account)

Summary: "In a field full of pumpkins, I'd still pick you."

Or the declaration of love of one Phil Lester to one Daniel Howell on the 10 year anniversary of their first meeting.

In another life you still would’ve turned my head (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes across old black and white photos of two queer men messing around, one playing with the other's hair, just like he did in a recent video with Phil. He gets caught up in the emotions that he would have fallen in love with Phil in any universe. He crawls into Phil's lap and tells him exactly that.

It's home (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: A day in the life of Dan and his smitten ice-cream vendor boyfriend Phil, living on the coast of Connemara, Ireland

meeting the parents (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Dan is ready to meet Phil's parents.

Right?

Mochi & Luna (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Dan has planned a huge surprise for Phil for their anniversary, but what he doesn’t know is that Phil has planned the same thing for him.

Neighbourly Nook (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru

Summary: The stranger had a dimple on his cheek that appeared when he laughed.

“I’m Dan,” he said, extending his hand. Phil reached for it with extreme eagerness, their knuckles knocking together in a particularly painful way, and they both winced, but Dan immediately broke into a smile. “I don’t know why I offered you a handshake, I never know how to do them.”

never knew how proud i'd feel (ao3) - danhoweiis, twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: Dan and Phil take their kids to a pride parade for the first time.

Ohana - manchestereyes

Summary: “Ohana means family. And family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” Everyone knows that Dan is a Lester and belongs on the family holiday–well, everyone except Dan himself. However, a beautiful seaside walk and a special surprise from Martyn and Cornelia may be just the ammunition he needs to change his mind.

phuture phusbands (ao3) - N_Chu4Ever

Summary: Dan’s opinions on weddings are pretty clear — marriage is piece of paper with some benefits, and organising a big fucking wedding is exhausting, and really, Phil, do we need it? Do we? The answer, of course, is no, and yet Phil is still thinking about it. As Dab and Evan’s Sims 4 wedding approaches, that thought process goes into overdrive.

Or: Phil proposes to Dan just after the Devan wedding is filmed.

Pictionary Proposal (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Dan is with his family in France and Phil is planning to propose when he returns home.

pink + white (ao3) - maestronomy

Summary: dan and phil in japan, sharing bites of a dango whilst thinking about their enticing future together ahead - and forever.

Shut Up and Dance (ao3) - spacemanlevi

Summary: Dan finds a beautiful man at a friends wedding, he just hopes he can work up the courage to ask for a dance.

Six centimetres a second (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Cherry blossoms and proposals

Somewhere Only We Know (ao3) - raisedufromperdition

Summary: The bench overlooking the lake in Central Park was the place Dan would go to lose himself in his thoughts and be alone. That is, until Phil Lester joins him one day, and suddenly Dan is no longer going to the bench to be alone. Suddenly the bench is where he gains a best friend, and where he falls in love.

The Greatest Valentine of All - manchestereyes

Summary: A simple trip to the toy store sparks some nostalgic feelings–and plants an idea in Dan’s mind. Is Phil ready for his proposition? Or, the one where seeing a bunch of kids’ toys makes Dan really, really want a child.

The Knight of Wands (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil had always had dreams that he couldn't quite comprehend and a certain intuition about what was truly important for his future.

the perfect first date (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Phil takes Dan out on his first date.

waking up to a dream (ao3) - vhslucky

Summary: "I missed you..." Phil mumbled against Dan's jacket, reveling in the familiarity of his smell. "I missed you more," Dan whispered warmly. Phil vehemently shook his head, "Not possible." Dan chuckled. Phil found that sound so sweet and endearing that he pulled him even closer.

warm (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Phil likes Dan.

And Phil really, really likes Dan's hat.

He came out to his parents in a song, and it will move you to tears

When Andreas Wijk played a new song for his parents that he just wrote and recorded, he wasn’t sure how they would react. Millions of kids could say the same thing about coming out to their mom and dad, but Wijk — a 29-year-old singer famous in Sweden since he was 15 — was doing it with music. --- Related Stories Miley Cyrus’s new single “River” was inspired by a gay dance party The singer dropped the video and the story behind the song to coincide with the release of her new album. --- In a message posted to Instagram, Wijk wrote: “A week ago I wrote a new song. I think it’s called ‘if I was gay’ and this morning I played it to my parents when they picked me up for lunch. It’s scary to be transparent. I’ve never really posted anything like this on here…” He called it “the scariest thing I’ve ever done.” Wijk was coming out to the world in a heartwarming moment in a song. Soon enough, mom and dad and millions of viewers were in tears. View this post on Instagram A post shared by ANDREAS WIJK (@andreaswijk) “If I was gay, would I be what they say?” sings Wijk, as his parents listen intently. “Just a stereotype.” The dawn begins to break on what Andreas is telling them. “If I was gay, how do I get to heaven?” Wijk continues, “when there’s ‘no church in the wild.'” The singer looks over at his dad furtively. The die has been cast. What’s he going to say? “Tried to be honest, but honestly I can’t. No, I can’t.” The son puts his hand over dad’s. The gesture is returned. “If love is the same, why is this not the same thing?” “The same thing.” As the music continues, Wijk exhales, seemingly all the tension leading up to this moment. His father is looking out, listening, his eyes brimming. His mom, behind them, is a picture of pride for their son. “I’ve never kissed a boy, would I like the way it feels? Picturing his face and I lose a piece of me.” “Play me all the classic love songs on repeat. None of them talk about what I feel.” “What I feel.” The father and son appraise each other. And Wijk goes in for the hug that he’s been hoping for. Mom and dad are smiling ear to ear. “Oh Andreas,” his father says. “I feel so relieved,” Wijk manages through the tears. The relief was years in the making. Andreas Wijk Instagram This was not the first time Wijk tried to share his feelings with his parents. In a later Insta post, Wijk reveals he came out to his parents when he was 15 years old when he hoped he could be “healed” by his pastor father. Wijk wanted to “get free from my sickness.” “For 13 years we prayed, but I never got ‘free from it.’ Today I feel closer to God than ever before. I feel so loved, happy and filled with peace.” Wijk says he lost a lot of friends when he came out. “My best friends turned away, telling me I was going to hell. But I never let go of God. Today my family has completely changed and we are also closer than ever.” With millions of views and over 200,000 likes, Wijk posted he was “Overwhelmed by this love ”. “This is amazing lovely one,” said lounorthcote. “so happy you are sharing your truth sending so much love ” “Oh boy, to have the bond you and your parents have,” wrote maciej.digital. “You are so lucky.” “cried like a baby watching this video,” posted heil3682. “no words,” said mrjakobolsson. These days, Wijk is catching up on being publicly out. He’s walked in Stockholm’s Pride parade, attended the Swedish Gay Gala, and celebrated his 30th birthday topless. And now he’s currently in rehearsals for the stage version of Moulin Rouge in Stockholm, following Ewan McGregor in the movie as Christian. “It really feels like you are reflecting your whole life story in this song,” Wijk’s dad says in the video. As he writes in the song’s lyrics, Wijk “kept a candle burning, a lamp unto my feet,” lighting the way. Somehow, with love, he’s arrived where he wants to be. http://dlvr.it/SlTylv

survey #002

(from the 26th)

Are you CPR certified? I'm not. What genre is your favorite movie? Is "family" a type of movie?? Idk, TLK's generally a kids movie that's good for everyone to watch. The Meerkats is a documentary. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? holy mother of sacred god no. When was the last time somebody hit on you? The boyfriend was being a flirt the other day. Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? My only "friend" that I ever actually see is Girt, and I am extremely comfortable with him. Who did you last spoon with? My boyfriend. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Two surgeries as well as stitches twice; I fainted in the bathroom once and landed directly on my chin, and the wound needed them. My cyst surgery point of entry was sealed with stitches, too. Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No. Are you in high school? Way past that. Have you ever written a song? lmao I sure did as a kid... to the Nintendogs theme, I shit you the fuck not. Do you ever feel numb? Yes. Depression for so long will do that to you. Do you prefer being inside or outside? I get more out of being outside in the right weather, but a very high majority of the time, I'd rather be inside. When did you last use a lighter or matches? Gaaaah I'm blanking. Do you think the ocean needs more exploring? Well of course! The immensity of the potential of what could be found knows no bounds. Never stop learning. Is there a past relationship/friendship you miss? Friendships, yes. I will always miss Megan above all. Do you like mangoes? It's quite strange, actually: I don't like the fruit itself bc texture, but I LOVE mango-flavored foods. Last song you listened to? ... I picked a bad time to start a new survey asldkjfakwlejfr I swear I listen to like three other songs that aren't "Zick Zack." Did you use Vine when it existed? I loved watching compilation vids, but I never had an account myself to browse. What decorations do you have in your bedroom? Oh wow, a whole lot. My room looks very much like a teenager's, imo. Stuff I like just everywhere to make it all homey. Who is a celebrity you'd like to hang out with? LKJAKLSJDLFAWE Oliver Riedel PLEASE this man likes photography and is quiet and reclusive and shy and shit and like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, SAME HUNNY WYA idfc if he could literally be my dad I repeat WWWWWWWWWWWYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA How many amusement parks have you visited? Two, I think...? Disney and SeaWorld. Do you prefer chewy or crunchy textures more? Chewy. What last broke your heart? The fucking Supreme Court. Are there any events coming up you're looking forward to? Ummm I don't think so. What's the most random collection you've had or known someone to have? Can't say I'm sure. What's your go-to Chinese food order? I only ever get pork fried rice and usually an egg roll. What is something you're naturally good at? I hope this doesn't come across in a snobby, praising-myself sort of way, but caring about people is definitely an answer. I just always do; there're ways to make me not care, yes, but you generally have to be absolutely and utterly fucking appalling for me to manage not giving a shit about you. What flower did you last see? Ma got Ashley some sunflowers for her birthday the other day. How many plants do you have? Zero. Not my hobby. Are you currently nervous about something? bro I'm nervous for this whole country lmao When did you last get a new phone? It' s been a while. I need a new one. Have you ever attended a Pride parade? No, but I would absolutely love to one day when I can walk like a normal person. And not respond so incredibly violently to heat. My hyperhidrosis literally explodes at like barely 70* and it's just. A bad, bad time. What do you currently want? I was just messing with my hair, so there's a non-typical answer: my hair trimmed and DYEDDDDDDDDD. What last gave you adrenaline? Idk, not something I experience a lot. Have you ever played pool? Yep; we used to have this stacking game table growing up, and our favorite was pool. What time did you go to sleep last night? I knocked the fuck out at... what, 4 PM? Didn't wake up 'til 5 in the morning and even went back to sleep. I need to fucking watch this hypomania shit so that incident doesn't re-occur. I deadass thought I was working towards a seizure when I got in that bed and started spasming. What did you last use a knife for? Waffles. Can you do a proper push up? Absolutely not. Are you rebellious? I never really was, nah. What is something that makes you feel alive? Riding passenger with Mom and me controlling the music, specifically a new song I'm hooked on, loud and with the windows down. It is still so strange to me how that's one of my favorite things to do all the while being terrified of the road. Are you currently comfortable? I'm fine right now. I'm typically dealing with edema lately because of the 180 switch from not wanting to leave the bed to never wanting to be in it, but I slept so long yesterday/last night that my ankles and feet are okay today. Are you usually on time for things or late? On time. What is your favorite word? I like calming words like serendipity, tranquility, and... dude I feel like my ACTUAL favorite word is evading me, pls brain Do you ever make music playlists of songs to fit your mood? Ha, funny you ask; I'm currently working on a big ol' project of getting rid of the iPod I have had and actively used since I started MIDDLE SCHOOL, and I'll probably end up doing that after I transfer all the songs I want to keep onto Spotify. Like that iPod is a fucking fossil, and I would be L I V I D if it stopped working and boom, like ~1.1k songs gone that needed replacing. I gotta get with the times on this matter, haha. What is something you have 0 tolerance for? Abuse in any shape or way. Unless you are defending yourself, you don't fucking hurt another person, physically or mentally. Keep your goddamn hands and your angry tongue to yourself. Have you ever picked a lock? Uh, good question. Have you ever attended a protest? No, but I actually REALLY want to go to one after the overturn of Roe v. Wade. I couldn't stand long, no, but whatever, I'll sit my fat ass there with a sign I hope slaps pro-lifers across their rotten faces without me even touching them. I'd just obviously need a ride there, and I don't really think Mom would be willing to drive all the way there, and I KNOW she would worry about it getting violent and me getting hurt. Have a best friend? If you don't count my boyfriend, I really don't. Mazzy and Tez are absolutely my closest friends, though. Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? No, he's allowed to have a life that doesn't always involve me. Do you keep any secrets from your best friend? Nope. He knows my biggest now and it was completely nbd, so it's safe to say our trust is fully functioning. There are things I wouldn't just randomly share with him, but if he asked, I think I'd tell the truth with anything. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? More than one. What would you name your future son? Damien Vance, then whatever last name. Do you consider yourself a nature person? Well, it depends on how you look at it. I adore looking at nature, but experiencing it is a challenge for me to enjoy because I get hot SO fucking easily and pour sweat because of hyperhidrosis, cannot walk far at all without feeling like my knees might crumple, and I am TERRIFIED of ticks. Idealistically, I'm a nature person, but in practice, eh. What kind of collection would you like to start? It's fuckin RAMMSTEIN MERCH TIME bby. What helps you take your mind off your problems? Girt, more than anything. When I'm with him, my worries and stuff kinda just drift into the background. I can focus on the moment and be very grateful for it. Do you prefer to live alone or live in a family? I HAVE to live with someone. I would be way, way too lonely and depressed on my own. What states have you visited, that you remember? Excluding the places I only went through, I've been to New York, Florida, Ohio, Virginia, Tennessee, and Illinois. What countries have you visited? I've never left the USA, for the love of god please get me out of this dumpster fire. What countries do you want to visit? South Africa and Germany top the list, but I also think Ireland, Bali, Japan, and Egypt would be cool. What states would you most like to visit? Wyoming is #1 to spread Teddy's ashes in Yellowstone and also meet up with Mazzy and Tez!!! :') I'm also quite interested in going to Wisconsin to visit the Snake Discovery facility and hopefully meet Ed and Emily. Then there's California, just because A LOT is there, but it's not immensely important to me. I have some interest in seeing Michigan too, and all the photographs I've seen of Utah in particular blow my fucking mind. OH, almost forgot: Arizona! Seeing the Grand Canyon would be absolutely, positively magical, like for some reason I feel like I would cry there. Arizona also has wild tarantulas, so that'd be amazing to see!!! :') What are five careers you’ve considered? Paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, photographer. What’s your latest discovery? I was actually researching sleep the other day in response to my hypomania and learned some VERY interesting things, such as lack of sleep actually cannot kill you (unless it is related to a couple medical conditions) and it doesn't do as much harm as you would think. It was fascinating. Aaaand then the day after I pass the fuck out in bed twitching and spasming because I was so exhausted lmao Google please What do you wish your hair looked like? I'm very happy with its current style (but it really needs to be trimmed atm), but damn, it needs color. :( I've really been craving that lilac color lately. Which family member has your exact smile? Uh, I don't know. I have a very prominent dimple on my left cheek when I smile, and I do believe Mom has said her dad had them, too. I don't think anyone else in my immediate family does. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? Do I feel romantic love? No. But I will always, always care, to the day I die. Hell, quite honestly, I think in the heat of the moment, I might still jump in front of a bullet for him. What’s one thing you’re behind on? "Being an adult." <<<< WOW mood lmao How old were you the first time you encountered God? Oh, dear. Look at this world and tell me where the fuck he is, 'cuz I sure don't know. Have you ever hallucinated? Yes, actually twice now, I think. I did towards the end of middle school when I was homebound and coming off a certain medication; I would see shadows moving. And then literally two days ago, deep into my sleep deprivation, I think twice I experienced thinking I saw something move in the corner of my eye, but not like a shadow; I don't know how to describe this one. Who is the best looking male celebrity, in your opinion? Even though I'm in a big ol' Ollie phase rn, Mark Fischbach still reigns supreme here, haha. How many subscribers do you have on YouTube? I wanna say around 70? I know because I looked at my channel the other day for something. If you’d like to share, what is your screenname on Instagram? I have two for varying sorts of photography: brittanymphotography and eldritch_obscura. Do you use Snapchat? No. Are you a fast texter? Noooo. I make typos a whole lot. ESPECIALLY with my tremors being so bad lately. Would you rather text or call? Still text lmao, fuck talking on the phone. Do you know anyone who has everything handed to them? I'm sure I do. Would you ever want to be a famous YouTuber? In my "what the fuck do I do to make money" desperation, I've considered being one of those PetTubers, but nah, it's not realistic for me. Do you know anyone who’s colorblind? My ex's older brother was colorblind to I want to say red and blue.

Bakusquad LGBT Headcanons

Whoops... haven’t posted in a while... whoops.

Anyway, for this I decided some Bakusquad gay hc. And maybe some shipping lmao. Now, BakuKiri is valid but I prefer TodoBaku. But both are great. For this imma go with TodoBaku and KiriDenki because preference. Also, if anyone starts fighting about ships in comments I’m coming for you toes.

Anyway, enjoy!

Katsuki Bakugo

This boy....

Oh god this boy

Three syllables

DISASTER

Oh yeah he’s gay

Gay disaster

Very angrily a disaster

Bakugo strikes me as a tsundere. As he does for everybody

But combined with his... tendencies...

He becomes a walking balm of internalized gay anger

He fears being outed because homophobia is fun

But since all of Class 1-A knows, they just don’t say anything

Only openly out to the Bakusquad, and Todoroki

Like I said, dating Todoroki

Or Kirishima depending on how I feel

Either way, he is a clingy, angry tsundere with both

Will avidly defend his friends and himself or anyone from any kind of bigotry

Very... passionate... lgbt supporter

May or may not have cried the night he came out to the bakusquad. Both before and after. And may or may not have been happy tears.

Also the kind of person who screams at you to die while absolutely showering you in love and trying to make you feel like the most valid person ever. But does it in his usual Bakugo tsundere way.

He has hit everyone in the Bakusquad and his boyfriend with their respective flags while shouting vaguely threatening words of love and validation at them. This has happened to everyone at least once. Todoroki, Jirou, and Denki are the most common victims.

Also. Trans Bakugo deserves rights

When it comes to being trans, Bakugo has no issue with it

Neither do his parents

But like with him being a filthy gay degen- *gets exploded* OW!!

Anyway, like him with his homosmexualness, he’s scared to come out about it

Mind you, his parents are also avid supporters for the gay community

But he himself has seen and heard things and it scares him

As well as those morons in middle school who he came out too (not willingly) but teased him about it and made stupid comments, they didn’t hate him but were more so ignorant

Has experienced actual hatred before, especially middle school (maybe projected on Midoriya a little...)

But, this boy was so relieved when he came out to his friends and especially Todoroki

Maybe the human population isn’t so bad after all, huh you angry ball of rainbows and anger

Also. Ace bb

Eijirou Kirishima

The resident sunshine shark puppy

He flips between functional and disaster depending on the day

Is extremely open about him being pan, since it’s the manliest thing to do

And he is the manliest

He is also avid supporter and defender of the lgbt

Since Kirishima is the other backbone of the Bakusquad, he’s great for when ya need some comfort

This baby boi just wants to be loved and will love you back tenfold

Best hugger in class 1-a fight me

Broken gaydar

Denki Kaminari

(This was the first gif... y’all really horny huh?)

The biggest bi disaster

Also chaotic

Unintentionally chaotic

Like, he goes in with intentions of chaos, then somehow it ends up being worse then it should’ve been

Goddamnit Denki, is now Bakugo’s favorite phrase

Best gay friends with Sero and Mina

Absolutely falls hard

Sure, he’s a flirt, but that’s just Denki being Denki

He’s so much worse when he falls in love

Not a flirt. No no. Absolute blushing mess

Bf do be Kiri tho

(Why is he the person I have the most ships with like damn...)

His gaydar is absolutely fucking broken. Like my god you could be Aoyama levels of obvious and it’d go straight over his head

Gaydar is so bad he usually ends up flirting with lesbians or already taken people

He never touches a dude because he doesn’t want people thinking he’s already weirder than he is

Bad social anxiety, so he stayed quiet about being bi

Than Sero asked... he denied it

It failed

Now he’s out and semi-proud

Does have sad days where he feels anxious and albeit ashamed

But he’s with the two biggest cuddlers with Sero and Kiri so it’s fine

Or if you want to be saucy, soft boy Shinso or Ojiro

Hanta Sero

This dumbass

Non-binary (he/they) demisexual biromantic boi

Since I hc as the most observant person (emotionally anyways) his gaydar is by far the strongest

He picked up on fucking Todoroki... that man looks straighter than his dad is sucks

Also the one who picks up the crushes before the people even do

Motherfucker could tell you who’s gonna end up with who before they even realize that they like each other

*cough* Bakugo and Todoroki *cough cough*

Poly relationship with Denki and Kiri. Fight me

Mina Ashido

Best girl

Ace lesbian

Makes a great chaotic couple with Mei Hatsume

Chaotic lesbian and she knows it

She is also disaster

Bad kind of disaster

She uh... once tried to bake a pride cake for pride month and nearly burned down the entire dorm

Denki was also there... that didn’t help

Also the resident shipper of Bakusquad and Class 1-A (alongside Hagakure and Ochako)

She absolutely got 8/10 couples together in 1-A... and also 1-B

ShinoMa anyone?

Absolutely has tricked Denki multiple times to wear dresses

Doesn’t have to trick Sero, he just does it

Adores Mei and is soft about it

Kyouka Jirou

Badass bi anyone?

Bisexual disaster

But very quietly dies unlike the other three on here

She can try and smooth it over and play it off

Doesn’t work all the time

Trans female

And I love her

Gay with Yaomomo

Hangs out with Sero and Bakugo a lot as trans squad and they end up laughing at the four other dumbasses they have sadly befriended

The head of the Bakusquad, especially at pride

Absolutely fucking listens to Against Me! and Jayne County and whatever other trans musician you can think of

Absolutely vibing with Sero while listen to Girl in Red, Cavetown, or the other two

And jams with Bakugo and Denki with those as well

On bad, dysphoric days, the squad bakes all her favorite foods, grab her girlfriend, and hang out and chill

Some general pride month headcanons

Like I’ve mentioned, vibing with Cavetown and Girl in Red

Also jamming with Jayne County and Laura Jayne Grace and whomever else Jirou found that week

At pride, Kirishima is at the bbq with Tetsutetsu (they have rainbow gay meat come on!)

Bakugo is trying to stop Todoroki from wondering off and getting lost, especially at first pride parade since it was his first time and Shoto is absolute dumbass

One year while still going to UA, Shoto and Denki picked up on an anxious Momo and sad Jirou and Sero just... announced how gay they were for each other.

Later that month, the two girls got together due to a party thrown just for them put together by Sero, Shoto, Denki, and Mina

It’s a tradition to watch whatever the gayest show out at the time is and finish it before the month is over as a group

SU is Denki and Kiri’s favorite.

Bakugo hates it cuz the diamonds piss him off

Soooooo, they have to stop halfway through the gay wedding episode

Todoroki joins in on the shows because he has nothing better to do (but really it’s because he’s lonely and craves affection... bb)

Also, when Bakugo came out. Sero won a bet with Mina. Not on him not being gay. But Mina thought he was bi.

Mina was wrong

And now it’s a tradition for Sero to make bets with the other squad members on who’s what shade of gay and then win because he’s right 100% of the time (and Bakugo just started betting WITH Sero because he got tired of losing. Denki and Mina do not give up however. And Kiri switches sides a lot.)

dear winter | c. parakyo

a/n: this one was entirely inspired by and written to dear winter by ajr. highly recommend listening to this while you read. this is your reminder that vince dunn isn’t the only player on the blues. enjoy!

warnings: a little swearing. otherwise, alllllll fluff. 

word count: 6K

You sighed as you felt a firm kick to your bladder. You had to give it to her, your baby had great aim, something she’s definitely inherited from her dad since you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball even if you were being coached through each movement. You rubbed your growing bump softly, a vain attempt to get her to relax, before you grabbed the full file box. Colton would be upset if he knew you were moving boxes without him. You loved Colton, god, did you ever love your husband, but he was treating you like you were going to break any second. He had as soon as you’d told him you were pregnant. You tried to fight him on it, but if Colton wanted something to go a specific way, there was pretty much nothing you could physically do about it. He was a physical immovable force. You settled for doing things when he wasn’t home.

You huffed out a loud breath as you sat down on the couch with what would be your fourth box of the day. You had been trying to go through everything in the room that was going to become “Little P’s” nursery, as Colton called her. You were also using it as an excuse to actually clean out your catch-all spare bedroom instead of just moving the problem of having too much stuff from the bedroom to the attic.

You sucked in a deep breath before blowing off the layer of dust from the top of the box. You lifted the lid and sighed. It was absolutely packed with papers and notebooks, Colton’s notebooks. He religiously kept notebooks, not a diary, not a journal. He rolled his eyes whenever you called them that, telling you that they weren’t diaries or journals because he wrote anything in them, from grocery lists, to hockey plays he thought of, gift ideas for you, anything. He also refused to get rid of a single one, much to your chagrin, but the least you could do was label them with the dates they contained to organize them. Thank god you’d pulled the label maker out for the last box so you didn’t have to get up. Getting up wasn’t your specialty anymore, thanks to Little P being a little less little since her father was a large human being.

You cracked open the first notebook after shaking off more dust, flipping to the first page to grab the date and the last page for the final one. Colton’s notebooks had never been any of your business. You thought he had every right to his private thoughts, something that had absolutely floored him when you started dating. Every other girl had tried to read over his shoulders, sneak a peak when he wasn’t around, but you trusted Colton, which is what you’d told him then and still told him now every time he picked up another notebook. The next notebook opened with a silly drawing, it made you giggle, but you didn’t pry further, simply adding your label and moving on to the next one.

Your brows furrowed when you came to a notebook toward the bottom. Unlike the rest, which were heavily worn in, the pages wrinkled and fanning out, making them appear thicker, this one was only partially started. The wear stopped about three-quarters of the way through it. You found it odd. Colton always finished everything he started, even if it was virtually impossible for him to do so. He was the least wasteful person you’d ever met. You shook off your thoughts. His notebooks were his business, not yours.

Still, regardless of you trying otherwise, your eyes flitted to the first entry in this notebook. The start of it pulled your eyes in unwillingly. It was a letter, a letter to someone else. Your heart sank and you slammed the notebook shut. No, you thought. Colton would never, but then who was he writing to? Your heart was aching in your chest. You trusted and loved your husband more than you ever thought possible for yourself, but your mind was running through possibilities and you needed to know. When your eyed scanned the first words, the tears started to slip out even though you willed them not to.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope they don't make fun of you When you grow up and go to school, okay? 'Cause Winter is a badass name

Colton’s words continued and your tears kept flowing.

Sorry if you don’t love it, baby girl, but I do and unfortunately for you, one me and one other person get to vote on it and I’m all in for it. Also, I’m not really sure where I got the idea to start this, but I’m two sentences in and I hope one day you think this is as cool as I do right now.

Anyway, I wanted to start by telling you what made me think of your name. I was walking through Forest Park (I’m playing for the Blues right now, in case that ever changes, so I’m in St. Louis) because I was having a pretty terrible day. I botched something at practice, couldn’t get the play right, and coach got angry at me. You probably know I don’t handle people being angry with me well because I doubt that’s ever going to go away. I found out the woman I was seeing actually cheated on me (I know, weird to read from me, but I hope you stick through this one) and I’m missing my family a lot today. (Side note: please come home more, Winter. I love you.)

So I was having a terrible day and decided to take a walk. It was chilly, but sort of comforting. It smelled like it was about to snow. I really hope you know that smell too, sort of like Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year, as I also assume you know. Then, it started to snow. It was that beautiful, promising fluffy snow that makes me think of hot chocolate and peppermint and family. That’s when I really thought about you for the first time, Winter. I thought about us outside in our front yard, your mom on the front steps, and you catching snowflakes on your tongue. I thought about how you’d ask me to build a snowman with you, even though the snow wasn’t even sticking to the ground. I thought about you, Win. Winter. Some people hate winter. Some people love it. That’s also why it’s your name, Win. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, Winnie, but that’s okay. You’re not meant to be for everyone. You’re meant to be exactly who are you as you’re reading this. 

I'm hoping that some day, I can meet you on this Earth But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

Love, Dad :) 

You placed your hand gingerly on your swollen stomach as the tears flowed freely. Colton wrote the first letter in the notebook seven and a half years before today. He’d been writing to her, the little girl still growing in your belly, for years, before you’d even moved to St. Louis let alone met Colton for the first time. Of course Winter would take that moment to kick you in the stomach. Winter. You loved her name too. You’d been racking your brain all day since you’d found out that Little P was a girl, not the boy you were convinced you were having based on your apparently flawed mother’s intuition, so when you found out Little P was a girl, you’d be wracking your brain all day for both a way to tell Colton and what you might name her. Somehow, even though he didn’t know yet, Colton had already taken care of another worry of yours, a man who didn’t know how to love you wrong. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from turning to the next page to read the next entry. Unlike his notebook he used every day, the next entry picked up a few weeks later.

Dear Winter, I hope you talk to girls Or boys or anyone you like

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written to you, but I heard something out a bar that made me come home and immediately grab this notebook. Sorry if this is a little unclear. Dad’s just a little drunk right now, but I want you to know how important this is and I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.

This guy at the bar was being... absolutely awful, Win. This girl was just trying to have a good time with her friends. She was wearing a pin on her jacket with the pride flag on it. This guy started asking her about it. She shrugged, said she was bi, and she moved on. Except he didn’t move on. I heard him talking to his friends, talking terribly about her. He was talking about her sexuality and what it could do for him, how good it would be for him that she was bi. It didn’t sit with me right, so I warned her what he said and she said something that stuck with me so I wanted to tell it to you. She said, “God, thank you for telling me. I’m so fucking tired of guys sexualizing my sexuality for their own sexual gratification. It has nothing to do with them, you know? It’s my sexuality. It’s for me and me alone. I thought it got through all of the bad stuff when my parents kicked me out for it. It just keeps on coming, you know? Fucking sucks.”

Winnie, whoever you like, boys, girls, both, neither, people who don’t identify any particular way, if you know deep down you’re not my little girl, but you’re my son, I’m always, always, always, always going to love you. I will always be in your corner, Win. My love for you will never change. My support for you with never waiver. I will stand with you a pride parades. I will advocate for you. I will do anything I can to make sure you know you are loved and supported and that you can always come to me. I will always protect you, Winter. I will always love you.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t come out yet, the door is open, Win. And I’m standing right there, arms wide open, ready to love the truest version of you, the version of you that makes you feel like your most authentic, happy self. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.

Love, Dad

You felt your heart pound hard in your chest. Colton had never wavered on loving whoever your baby was going to be, but this, this was something special. You took a deep breath and looked down at your bump again.

“He loves you so much,” you told her softly as you gently rubbed your bump. “You have the best dad in the entire world. I just hope my genes don’t screw you up too much.”

You flipped to the next entry, laughing to yourself at how it was filled with entirely with car buying advice. Apparently, Colton has just bought a car the day he wrote it and he was keen on sharing his newfound wisdom with Winter. He also talked about how he was going to help Winter buy her first car and exactly what that would entail. It was such dad advice, but somehow it was perfect and it was Colton.

You kept reading, an entry an unknown amount of dates deep, caught your eye. You weren’t sure how deep into this you really were. You were flying through entries, Colton’s loving words pulling you through each page at a lightening pace. This one caught you eye though.

It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me But dear Winter, I hope you like your name You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

You think your mom is going to like that I’m cursing in these letters? Probably not. But hopefully she’ll deal. I mean, I play hockey. Cursing is part of the game basically. I hope I teach you well. :)

You know, Win, I saw a couple out at a restaurant today and they were so in love. I, on the other hand, got stood up on a date today. Super fun, right? And super weird to hear from your dad, but it’s the truth. As smooth as I’ve tried to make myself look your whole life, Dad’s not really all that fucking smooth, Winnie.

But anyway, I wanted to tell you that it doesn’t matter if you ever find someone, Win. I wanted to tell you this because I need to hear it right now and even if when you first read this, you don’t need to hear it, I’m betting at some point in your life you will need it. You can achieve every single dream you have without a partner. You can have the life you want. You can have a family. You can make a beautiful life for yourself all on your own. Because you aren’t looking for your other half. You’re a goddamn full, beautiful, powerful person all by yourself. You are complete just as you are and that’s fucking amazing, Winnie.

Am I writing this for you in the future or me now? That’s debatable, but someday you’re going to need a reminder that you are a galaxy of beautiful, stunning possibilities. You are the sun, moon, stars, planets, and everything in between. A galaxy doesn’t need anyone or anything else. Always remember that anyone you let into your life should be in wonder at the galaxy that is you.

Sorry, Dad’s going to get off his weird soapbox now and go to bed. I’ll write you soon. Pinky promise :)

Love always, Dad

You gripped the notebook tightly in your hands, careful not to wrinkle the pages. You briefly thought about how you’d never read one of his notebooks before so maybe pregnancy hormones weren’t the best time to start, but this notebook was for someone. It was for the baby in your belly, so you kept reading. 

Dear Winter, 

I met someone today. I don’t want to say too much, in case it doesn’t work out. It never really works out for me, does it, Winnie? I hope a) that your mom has much better luck with men than I do with women and b) that you inherit her luck. At least I got her phone number, right? Maybe I can figure out how to sounds less like a guy that really like writing in notebooks and puzzles and more like a guy who is all about parties and adventure?

Actually, no, Win. No. Don’t listen to that. Be whoever you want to be, whatever that looks like. If some guy doesn’t like you because you’re a homebody, reject him and toss him out in the street. He’s clearly no good. Be whoever you want to be, Win. A homebody, a busy body, whoever that is, I’ve got your back for the rest of my life. 

(Side note: this girl is super, super pretty and she’s wicked smart with an incredible sense of humor. Kind of hoping this one works out? If not, then I guess on to the next one, right? If not, I’ve got to meet your mom one day, Win. We’ll see when it happens, I guess.)

Love, Dad

Your eyes scanned back up the page to the date. You breath hitched it your throat when you saw it and your hand came over your mouth as your eyes started to fill with tears again. It was about you. That was the day you met Colton for the first time. That memory was burned into your brain forever because it was honestly one of the worst days of your life, until Colton walked in.

You were about to give up. Four cups of coffee at varying degrees of strength had done nothing to stimulate an idea in your brain. Well, it would have been five cups of coffee if you hadn’t spilled the third cup down yourself and stained your favorite sweatshirt that was now a crumpled mess in your backpack. Despite that, you were still face to face with a blank Word document that needed to be six pages long by midnight tonight, which was less than twelve hours away. Procrastination always got the better of you. Today was no exception.

You had opened your day with a trip to the dentist and of course, you had a cavity. You didn’t realize until you got back to your car that your house key wasn’t on your key ring, so you couldn’t go home and your roommate was going to be out all day, so you’d had to post up in your fourth favorite local coffee shop as shops one through three were completely packed. You’d had to park six blocks over because you couldn’t find a spot. All of this chaos had wasted almost two hours you were supposed to be working. Then there was the spilled coffee, which you spilled because your terrible ex-boyfriend had shown up and tried to talk to you. In an effect to escape, the coffee had gotten spilled. To boot, after actually drank coffee number three, your mom had called you and told you your childhood dog had cancer. It was just one of those days. She was fifteen, so you couldn’t say she didn’t live a good, long life. Still, it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Your music was blaring in your eyes. You were rapidly flipping through Spotify trying to find something that might provide some inspiration. You sighed and rested against the back of the chair as your head fell back. You let out a long sigh and carded your fingers through your hair. Ideas or not, you needed to get started. That went out the window when you saw a large man standing next to your table when you lifted your head. He gave you a sweet smile and a small wave. Your eyes rolled up and down him quickly. He was massive, broader and taller than most people you knew. His size could make him intimidating, but there was something cautious and nervous about the way he moved. One of his large hands was shifting around his iced coffee. The other was fidgeting in his pocket. His smile was kind and inviting. His shoulder were low, hunkering down as if to try and look smaller than he was. It was his eyes that took your breath away for a second, a pair of beautiful baby blues framed by dark glasses.

You yanked one of your headphones out of your ears and raised your eyebrows at him.

“Hi,” he said softly. “Um, all the other tables are full. Do you mind if it sit? I’ve got an appointment in half an hour, so I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

You almost stuttered, but pulled yourself together in time to say, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He thanked you with a sweeter, wider smile as he dropped down into the chair opposite you. He dwarfed it, and the small table you had stationed yourself at. He was just slightly too big for everything around him, but he didn’t seem to mind much. 

“I’m Colton, by the way,” he told you as he opened up a book you hadn’t realized he’d been carrying. 

You told him your name softly before you tried to get back to work. Every minute you had was precious at this point to meeting your deadline. Beautiful man or not, you had to get this done. Except he seemed to have other ideas. 

“What are you working on?” he asked you after a few minutes. You’d caught him eyeing you as you finally got some sort of an idea, so your fingers were blazing across your keyboard.

“Oh, just this project for work,” you answered flatly, not even looking up from your screen or pausing your furious typing to answer. “I got into this fight with my boss about it because I think her premise is wrong, so I’ve been having some issues trying to write this condensed summary of her position considering I disagree with it. But, hey, a job’s a job, right? At least I’m employed enough to keep my cat fed, the hungry bastard, and support my own coffee habits without a sugar daddy.” 

Colton laughed and like your life had sudden become a movie, the sound took your breath away. You couldn’t stop a smile from pulling up the corners of your lips as he laughed. His laugh sort of made you forget how embarrassing what you’d just said was. 

“Is he fat?” Colton asked before quickly adding. “Your hungry cat, is he a fat bastard as well as a hungry one?” 

“The fattest bastard of them all,” you laughed as grabbed your phone from next to your laptop to show him a photo. 

Colton whistled when he saw the photo and nodded softly. 

“Put a ribbon on him and you could enter him as a prized heifer in the county fair,” Colton joked, making you smile widely, your first genuinely thrilled smile all day. 

“I got him fat from the shelter,” you tried to explain. “I’m trying to put him on a diet, but he’s just not having it. Honestly can’t blame him. Diets are dumb. But the fatso won’t exercise. I got him one of those cat wheels, like a giant hamster wheel but for cats. He barely fits on it and even on the days he finds his balance enough to fit on it, he won’t use it. I’ve sort of thrown in the towel.” 

“I think he’s decided how he wants to be in life and you might just have to accept it,” Colton told you. “I’ll stop bugging you, sorry. I said I wouldn’t.” 

With that, he turned his attention to his book and you went back to your paper. You sat across from him for the next thirty minutes, occasionally taking glances over at him. You found out later on that he keep looking up at you over the top edge of his book the whole time. You somehow just never caught each other.  

As Colton got up to leave, he paused for a second with his phone in his hand, spinning it nervously. 

“Um, I know this is probably sort of random and you’re probably not interested, but would you maybe want to get coffee again sometime you don’t have to do work?” Colton asked you, stumbling over practically ever other word on his way to asking you on a date.

You smiled softly as the memory faded out. You placed your hand on your bump again. Thank god the first three coffee shops had been full that day. You gently turned to the next page then the next one and the next one, stopping when the start of another grabbed you. 

Dear Winter, don't move too far away And please don't say I'm hovering When I text you to ask about your day I wanna hear about your day Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

I’m sorry if you ever think I’m hovering, Win, but I promise you, I just want to hear about your day, every single day. Sorry if you move far away for some incredible opportunity and I don’t handle it super well. You know me, your old man, I just want you to be able to catch up with you whenever I want to. I’m a little selfish that way, I guess. 

Who knows? Maybe by the time you move, teleportation will be real :)

But if you can, Winter, try and stay close to home. I miss my parents a lot, more than I can properly explain. I know you’re going to be so cool and smart and amazing and you won’t need me someday, but I hope you want me around anyway, even though I’m a lot sometimes. 

(Side note: That girl I talked about a while ago, she’s the one who made me think of this letter. I told her I was scared I was hovering too much, that I was smothering her, and she told me she wanted me around even more. I think you’d like her, Win.)

Hold on for someone who cares about you exactly as you are and loves the way you care about people. You shouldn’t have to change the way you care for someone. They should just feel it. 

Love, Dad

(P.S. Whenever you read this, please come home for a visit, even if you were here yesterday. I’ve definitely missed you since then.)

Your mind flashed back to Colton’s first road trip a few months after you started dating. You had a busy day, absolutely packed with meetings and work, so you’d barely had any time to glance at your phone all day. When you finally had a second to glance at it on the way to your car, you groaned. Two missed calls and four texts from Colton. Of course, the day he managed to find some time away from the guys to call you when you were supposed to be done with work, you had been kept late and missed him. 

You were already dialing his number as you dropped into your driver’s seat to begin the traffic-filled journey home. Colton answered on the second ring. 

“Hey.”

Your brows furrowed at his tone. He was trying hard to sound calm, but you could hear the nerves edging at each letter. He swallowed hard, hard enough you could hear it over the phone. 

“What’s up, babe?” you asked him as you slowly backed out of your parking space. “Is something wrong?” 

“No, nothing,” he said too quickly. He knew he’d said it too quickly the second it had left his mouth. He sighed and you heard some rustling on his end of the phone, following by a door being shut. “I’m sorry I bugged you today.”

“What?” you asked, even more confused than you had been previously as you turned on your right blinker. “You didn’t bug me, Colt. I asked you to call if you were free anytime outside my work hours. I just ended up working late today, that’s all.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

You could tell there was still something bothering him. His pitch was too high, responses too short. He was still on edge, something bigger dancing on the tip of his tongue. He knew you knew. You could read him like an open book even through the phone and he knew better than to not tell you when he was upset. “Relationships thrive with windows and doors open,” was what you always told him, and it takes two people to keep them open all the time.

“Am I hovering?” he blurted out. “Am I bothering you? I just, when I called you again, the guys started-”

“Those idiots that couldn’t keep a girl if they had a carefully curated list of instructions from the girl they liked to tell them how to keep her? They don’t know anything,” you jumped in. “You’re not bothering me, Colt. You never bother me. I want as much of you as I can get. If my life was you just and me, having our favorite lazy Saturday where we go to the farmer’s market, play Scrabble, make bad cocktails, and cook unnecessarily complex dinners before we watch some niche movie practically no one else on the planet has ever seen, I’d be so unbelievably happy. I want as much of you as I can have, Colt, and sometimes I feel like I’m asking for too much. You’re not hovering. I want you right here.”

“You’re not asking for too much,” he replied. Of course, Colton would ignore everything you had said to comfort him in favor of comforting you. “You’re sure I’m not too much? I can do less, if that would be better for you. I can, fuck, I don’t know, whatever you need.” 

“Colton, I love you,” you sighed. “That’s the easiest thing in the world to say to you. I love you, Colton. I love loving you. I love being loved by you. At least, god, I hope you love me back because now I’m realizing we’ve never actually said that and I’m sort of freaking out, but I love learning to love you better and I love finding new ways to show you I love you. Today’s way is actually telling you I do, I guess.” 

“Of course I love you too.”

Colton’s words had reminded you of a prayer, a prayer of a grateful man whose longing, desperate words to something out there that he’d whispered ages ago had finally been answered. You didn’t know how long he’d felt it, definitely longer than you, but love wasn’t a competition. There wasn’t a yardstick, a to-do list, or a formula. Love was whatever you made it to be. You loved Colton, and finally told him, and he loved you, and finally told you. That day, that was all either of you needed.

That day was so clear in your mind. It was the day that set your life on the path it was on, the day that really had started the path that ended up with little Winter being more than a figment in Colton’s mind when he wrote these letters. She was real and you were going to meet her in just a few short months. Your mind wandered forward, seeing Winter’s wide baby blue eyes, you imagined she’d look like Colton as well, hoping your genes didn’t taint his too much to ruin her, as Colton had her sitting on his broad shoulders, securing her safely to him with hands around her ankles as you walked through the zoo. She would be pointing at each animal, tugging on his hair, making sure he saw each and every one. He would be patient, kind, and caring, matching Winter’s excitement in kind with each animal. You would catch him on Google the night before, making sure he knew at least one random, uncommon fact about each one for her, just to make her day. That was the kind of thing Colton said he would do for her to you when you’d shown him the positive pregnancy test, and one of an ever-expanding, never finished lists of reason you wanted to have kids with him. 

You sighed as you felt her flip over in your stomach. She was constantly in motion, something that brought you peace because it told you she was healthy, but as much comfort as it brought you, it brought you more discomfort at the very feeling. You shifted on the couch as you turned to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope you let me take a shot with you on your twenty-first But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

I really hope you let me take a shot with you on your birthday. I’m asking because I was at a restaurant early today and saw the dad order two shots of tequila at a five star restaurant for him and his daughter, who had to be about twenty-one when her birthday dessert came out. She thought it was hilarious and you could tell she she did the shot with him that she loved her dad a ton. So naturally I thought of doing it with you. I know you’re definitely not going to think I’m cool by then, and you could be living in Canada instead where the drinking age is lower, but either way, I hope you don’t mind taking a shot with your old man. 

But, even if you don’t think I’m cool, even if we have to do the shot together over Facetime, even if Facetime doesn’t exist and you have to text me to ask me what it means when you read this, I hope we do one together. I promise, your old man could drink once, Win!

So, go ask your mom and I’ll break out the good tequila for you! :)

Love, Dad

You would definitely have to approve of the aforementioned tequila shot now that he’d been planning it for almost twenty-five years based on when this was written and when Winter would be twenty-one base on her estimated birthday. You laughed lightly and shook your head. Colton was already winning parenting debates with you and he didn’t even know it. Actually, maybe he did. It would be Colton to have planned this all out just so. You smiled as you flipped to the next entry. 

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your mom I gotta find a girl that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot Winter, it won't be too long First, I just gotta find your mom

This whole writing to you as I’ve looked for your mom is how this whole notebook started. 

And Winter, boy do I have some good news about your existence for you. 

That girl I mentioned a while back? I asked her to marry me today. And somehow, she said yes. 

I found her, Win. I found your mom. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my entire like, that is, until I meet you. And, Winnie, she’s so excited to meet you too someday. 

Here’s hoping she likes your name :) 

Love, Dad

Your eyes were filled with tears again and you were so caught up in the moment, you missed the sound of Colton fusing with the lock on the front door as he entered the house.

“Baby? Why are you crying? Is everything okay? Is Little P okay? How was the appointment?”

Colton’s questions were flying out of his mouth almost faster than you could understand. You heard his gym bag hit the floor and his feet hit heavy on the hardwood as he rushed over to you. Colton rounded the back of the couch and stopped when he saw what was in your hands. You closed the notebook gently in your hands, careful with the soft leather binding, before pulling the elastic over to keep it closed. You turned your head toward your husband. He was white as a sheet, nervousness coating his features. His baby blue eyes were jumping between your puffy eyes, your stomach, and the notebook in your hands impossibly fast. He swallowed hard, waiting for you to say something because his mind was running too fast toward the brick wall of having to ask you what you thought about what was in your hands to actually speak. 

“Colt,” you breathed out softly before placing a hand on your stomach again, “Little P is a girl.” 

“A girl? Really? I’m going to be a girl dad? Really?” 

Colton’s voice cracked with each word and tears began to spill over almost instantly as he sank onto the couch beside you. Hesitantly, as if he didn’t know if he was still allowed to, he reached a hand out toward your stomach. You grabbed his large hand with both of yours and placed it on your swollen belly. 

“Do you want to tell her what her name is?” you asked him softly. 

His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He took his bottom lip between his teeth and looked at with cautious, hesitant joy. 

“You like it?” Colton asked you, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I love her name, Colton, and since you came up with it, I think she should hear her for the first time from her incredible dad who already loves her more than she can possibly understand.” 

You reached a hand out to cup Colton’s face as you spoke. He leaned softly into your hand, his free hand cupping over yours, completely dwarfing it. He smiled at you softly before he placed a gentle kiss onto your palm, a silent way of telling you he loved you. His fingers wrapped around your hand, pulling it down to your belly along with his as his eyes shifted to it. 

“Hey, Winter, it’s me, your dad.”

(1/7) gluttony: an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

(envy) (gluttony) (greed) (lust) (pride) (sloth) (wrath)

hongjoong x reader

word count: 3k

angst (warning: alcohol abuse)

it was the 7th night in three months you were woken by the sound of your phone blaring, a number you were coming to recognize making your stomach sink. 

you knew what you were gonna hear. 

hongjoong’s drunken voice slurring that he needed you to pick him up. that he hadn’t been doing anything but got busted by the police and needed to pay yet another fine.

it was the same thing you’d heard every other time you talked to him at five o’clock in the morning. charged with disorderly conduct as he paraded around the city a drunken disaster. 

he was always a happy drunk, the life of the party who made everyone laugh and made alcohol look as if it was a mood booster; but more often than not, it would quickly turn sour. 

he would mouth off to the wrong people but be able to dip before a fight broke out. he would conceal his alcohol in a brown paper bag, him and his rowdy friends passing the judgmental gazes of families and couples. 

he would ignore your texts and calls pleading with him to be careful and to come home at a reasonable hour. 

but you never ignored him. 

no matter how mad and upset and frustrated he made you, you never ignored him. you got out of the bed, threw on a pair of shoes and made your way to the police station the same way you’re doing right now. 

you watch your boyfriend in defeat as he walks out of the police station, opening your car door and plopping down in the seat wordlessly. 

you make no move to leave yet, silence lingering between the both of you. you’re waiting for an apology or an explanation or something, anything, even though it’s things you’ve heard a thousand times before.

that he hadn’t meant to drink that much. 

that shots were on wooyoung that night so he couldn’t turn it down. 

that he’ll stop drinking all together because he can’t keep paying these fines and being brought in. 

“hongjoong,” you say quietly but he only groans, rolling his head back onto the seat like you’ve screamed at him. 

“i know, y/n,” he says, annoyance in his tone like he has any right to feel that way. like he was the one disturbed in the middle of his sleep and had to drive to the police station again to pick up his significant other of three years. 

“i don’t think you do. this is the 7th time i’m picking you up hongjoong. it’s starting to-”

“baby, my head is fuckin’ killing me and i just wanna sleep. can we talk about this later?”

he meets your gaze full of concern and disappointment but it’s like it doesn’t even phase him. 

like he doesn’t care how much pain and devastation his drinking brings you. how much he’s missed out on and made you miss out on with his addiction (something he refuses to admit is, in fact, an addiction) within these past three years. 

unsurprisingly, you first met him at a bar. 

you were drawn to him immediately, his handsome face and electric energy that had you guys leaving together just hours later. 

but opposed to how most bar meetings go, you hadn’t had sex. you talked all night in his small apartment, the one you moved into only four months after dating.

you guys had such a natural chemistry and connection, the good times of going on dates and cuddling on the couch and hanging out with his friends really good. 

but then the bad times got bad when you saw just how much he drank. 

how you’d get home from school or work sometimes and see he’d already had a 12 pack of beers before five o’clock. how he went out almost every single weekend and got completely shit faced. 

like the first time he met your parents, promising to meet you guys for dinner at the nicest restaurant in town. 

you told them the second you sat down how great he was, how funny and kind and great he treated you; but the more time ticked on, the more they doubted you. 

because not only did he stumble in almost an hour late, he was drunk. 

a slur to his words and a stagger in his step as he sat down and ordered another beer. but he was happy, at least, he talked with your dad and laughed with your mom and you figured, okay, it could’ve gone worse. 

this could’ve been way worse. 

but then it was worse on your birthday, when all your old friends surprised you at the party hongjoong had thrown you. 

as the night went on, though, your boyfriend celebrated your birthday like it was his own. downing shots and buying shots and cheering shots in a way you still can’t believe he lived through. 

you begged him toward the second half of the night to stop, to just drink some water and leave the bartender alone for a little bit. but he only rolled his eyes and told you to loosen up, that the least you could do on your birthday was to stop being such a stiff. 

hurt not by his words but by the way he continued to get obliterated, tears pricked your eyes and one of your best friends put his arm around you to comfort you.

he wiped your eyes and begged you not to cry on your birthday, to not let your asshole boyfriend upset you on your day. 

but hongjoong only saw the boy’s arm on your shoulder and stumbled over with all his liquid courage, pushing him away before punching him square in the face. 

it hadn’t left a lot of damage due to his state but it was enough to cause alarm, the first time he’d gotten violent the first time you told him you thought he had a problem and needed to go to rehab. 

he laughed at you like you’d said the funniest thing in the world, insisting he didn’t have a problem and definitely didn’t need to go to rehab. 

and even when he missed your graduation because he’d been hungover, he still didn’t believe you. 

you went back home after the ceremony with a lump in your throat, your cap and gown still on as you quietly asked him if he still wanted to come to your celebration dinner.

his eyes popped open and you saw the sadness and guilt in them immediately, his arm wrapping around you and pulling your body into his. he kissed your head and apologized for over sleeping, the scent of alcohol still on his breath making your eyes prick with tears. 

he tried to get up and change but ended up vomiting on the floor, your head shaking frantically as you told him to not worry about it. that you’d bring him home food and you guys could do something another day. 

your parents and friends weren’t surprised when you told them hongjoong was sick and couldn’t make it, knowing looks and sympathetic gazes that made your heart start to sink.

because you knew he had a problem and knew he needed help but what else could you do? 

you tried to talk to him and asked him to go but he’s not admitting that he has a problem; you can’t help someone who doesn’t wanna be helped. 

you told yourself you’re just gonna wait for that moment. wait until he’s so low and broken that he comes to you and says he needs to go to rehab or aa. 

but that time never came. 

he’s missed your promotion dinners, he’s missed your birthday celebrations, he’s forgotten your anniversary, all because he was too busy going out at night. 

he was the boyfriend you knew and loved during the week, kissing you softly and hugging you and telling you how much he loved you every hour of the day. 

but then the weekend would come and that hongjoong was gone. 

you were lucky if you were able to have a 30 minute conversation with him, usually sleeping the day away before he came out to peck your head and tell you he’d be back home later. 

in the beginning you would pout cutely and ask him to stay or if you could join him. 

but he always said you wouldn’t wanna come with them, that they got too crazy and he didn’t want you in that kind of environment. he told you he’d try to be back before you fell asleep only to wake you up stumbling in at four in the morning.

but when the problem became more persistent and when the arrests started happening, that’s when you really knew you needed to talk to him. really needed to get to the root of his problem and beg him as someone who loves him to get help. 

“i don’t need help and i don’t have a problem,” he always said, “we can talk about it later.”

and that’s exactly what he was saying now, looking at you pleadingly because you know he just wanted to collapse into bed and sleep until nightfall. 

with a defeated sigh and not another wasted word, you drove him home. 

he took your hand and walked with you upstairs before diving into bed, dragging your body down with him as he nuzzled into your neck.

“i missed you,” he mumbled into your skin before his breaths turned even and he fell asleep with his arms around you. 

you slipped away from him after a few moments, the smell of alcohol and sweat making tears prick your eyes. 

you don’t wanna give up on him but you can’t do this much longer. you can’t keep wondering where he is at night and plagued with fear about what he’s doing. 

about how many shots or how many beers he had. 

most people are scared that their boyfriend is gonna go out and cheat on them when they’re drunk off their ass. 

but you’re scared that the next shot is gonna be the one that kills him, that he’s gonna stumble into the street and get hit by car or mouth off to the wrong person and get his ass handed to him. 

these thoughts run in your mind all day, trying to distract yourself by cleaning and reading and watching tv.

none of that works. 

nothing works because you just wanna sit with him and talk to him. show him how much he’s been hurting you and beg him to stop. 

you hear his feet pad out of the bedroom at around five in the evening, turning around to see his hair a mess and eyes hazy. he plops down on the couch and pulls you into him, kissing your forehead as he asks how your day was. 

you bite the inside of your cheek so you don’t cry or scream, your teary eyes trained on the television before he pulls your face away and looks over you with concern.

“hey,” he says softly, in the tone you’ve come to love and miss so much these days. “what’s wrong?”

and that’s when the tears come to the surface, a look you haven’t seen in his eyes for so long completely breaking you. you miss him, you miss him being here for you and holding you and acting like the man you fell in love with. 

“are you really asking me that?” you cry out quietly. “i...i can’t keep doing this hongjoong.”

“doing what?” he asks, his thumb trailing over your face gently; and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he really didn’t know. really had no idea that seeing him drink and destroy his body has been draining the life out of you. 

“you have a problem, hongjoong, and you need to get help,” you tell him, your eyes meeting his and already seeing the objection in them; but your own are teary and sad and defeated and it’s something he’s not ignorant to. 

“i can’t keep wondering every night if you’re fucking dead just for me to pick you up at the police station.” 

“it’s only been a few times, baby, and i’m sorry. you just know how crazy wooyoung can-”

“i’m not talking about wooyoung!” you snap, “i’m not dating wooyoung and i’m not crying over wooyoung. i haven’t picked wooyoung up seven times for disorderly conduct just for him to do the same shit over and over again.”

he’s angry at the way you’re calling him out but he can’t find it in himself to fight back, the brokenness in your tone and tears on your face making his stomach twist in disgust; he did this and it’s his fault that you’re this sad right now. 

“it’s so draining, hongjoong,” you say, voice barely above a shaky whisper. 

“i can’t keep watching you do this, okay? and i need you to please, please stop. if you need help, i will help you. we can look at programs together or look for meetings or do anything you want to. but please, i can’t keep thinking that this is gonna fucking kill y-” your voice breaks as a sob leaves your mouth and he immediately pulls you into him, his hand moving to the back of your head to stroke your hair. he feels tears sting the back of his eyes at hearing your muffled cries in his shirt, rocking you back and forth as he shushes you. 

he tells you right there that he’ll stop. 

that from this day on, he won’t ever drink again. for real this time. that he’s gonna do it for you, cold turkey without the help of rehabs or meetings.

“it’s better to get real help, hongjoong, it’s an addiction,” you tell him. 

maybe because a part of you knew he wasn’t gonna be able to do this for you or anyone else. that he had to stop because he saw the issues and error in his ways and didn’t wanna feel like this anymore. 

but he kisses your face and holds you tight and assures you that he’s not gonna do it again. that he loves you more than alcohol and is sorry he made you feel this way. 

and when one weekend passes, you stupidly think maybe he was right. 

you couldn’t remember the last full saturday you had with him, a picnic date during the day followed by a romantic dinner at night and movie at home. it had been just like when you first started dating, when everything was pure and sweet and you guys had nothing to worry about. 

but then next weekend, when you were out for your friend’s birthday, you had a bad feeling in your gut. 

you told hongjoong you wouldn’t go if he was gonna be too tempted but he only scoffed and told you absolutely not, that san and mingi were just gonna come over and play video games.

“i told you, baby, i’m done,” he reassured, pecking a kiss to your cheek and smiling sweetly at you. “i love you, okay? have fun.”

when you stumbled in a little past one o’clock, with no sight of him in the dark apartment, you knew right there that you two were done. tears pricked your eyes and you slid down the wall as you hid your face in your hands and cried. 

cried because you couldn’t stop him and you were silly to think you could. 

cried for him and whatever demons he had that made him go out and drown his sorrows away. that he didn’t feel like he could come to you or anyone else in his life besides a bottle of liquor. 

you laid awake until suddenly you weren’t. 

until that familiar ringing of your phone ripped you conscious, the first words in your ear a lowly spoken “i’m sorry.” 

you took your usual route to the police station and watched him walk toward the car with his head hung, plopping down next to you and looking at you with sadness in his eyes. 

“y/n, i’m sorry...i...we...we only meant to get one drink but-”

“stop,” you begged quietly, pulling back out into the street as you made your way back to his house. you walked him up, crossing your arms over your chest so he didn’t try to hold your hand before watching him flop down onto the bed. 

you just watched him lay there, his hands holding his head like he was in a grave amount of pain. you thought for sure he was sleeping before he looked up, his eyes hazy and pale face looking at you with a mix of guilt and sorrow.

“baby, i’m sorry. you have every right to not believe me and to be mad at me, but i promise, that was the last time. i-i even told the guys that i can’t anymore and they said-”

his head lolls to the side before his eyes close and for a split second you think he’s dead. 

but then the rise and fall of his chest a few seconds later relaxes you, allowing the tears to stream down your face again before you make your way to the closet. 

you quietly pack your clothes and shoes into a suitcase, texting your parents and asking if it’s okay that you stay with them for a little. when a hanger flies from out of the closet and hits the floor with a loud crash, your head snaps up to see if it’s woken your...hongjoong. 

but the boy doesn’t even flinch, his eyes closed and mouth open as his body recovers from all the damage he’s done. you linger at his bedside before kneeling down, feeling sobs threatening to leave you as your hand gently runs through his hair. 

you don’t know how long you sit there and watch him sleep but it’s enough time for your mom to frantically call you and ask what happened, simply telling her that you’re leaving now and will be there in a little to explain.

you take your bags out into the hallway and fill up a glass of water, leaving it at his bedside as you look down at him one last time. 

you hope that when he wakes, your absence will be something productive. 

not that he’s gonna go into more of a downward spiral because you left him but show him that if he had just gotten help, this would’ve worked out. 

that people are so desperate to help him but also can’t watch him get worse and worse.

“i’m sorry,” you say to the sleeping boy quietly. 

because you wanted to help him so badly. you really wanted to be by his side during this and show him that you were a person who was gonna stick by him no matter what.

somehow your lowly spoken words make his eyes flutter open, looking at you in a sleepy daze before a small smile quirks at his lips. 

“hi, baby,” he mumbles lowly, his eyelids heavy as sleep starts to consume him  again. “i missed you.” 

you feel your eyes gloss over and wait a few seconds for him to fully fall back asleep before getting up and walking out into the hallway. 

you wipe at your tears and tell yourself you can’t go back in there no matter how much you want to - that, for both of you, this needs to happen.

you hope that he finds it in himself to get help one day. 

you hope that this all didn’t happen for nothing and that one day, he’ll be able to fight whatever’s inside of him that causes him to do this. 

and when the boy wakes up at night time, the apartment dark and empty and eerily quiet, it’s like a part of him already knows you’re gone. 

he can’t say he really blames you either, he’d almost been waiting for this moment he knew was gonna come.

when you woke up one day and realized that he was never gonna get better. 

that the only thing he can do is drown his demons and sorrows with a bottle and hope that someone will be dumb enough to stick around and beg him to stop something he can’t.

The Rainbow Brigade Goes To Pride

Julie giggled into the microphone as she watched her best friends jump and dance along to their song, draping an arm around her boyfriend's shoulder as they belted the outro and Bright ended.

"Yes! That was amazing!" Flynn grinned, always the one to hype up their best friend.

"But was it 'performing at a cafe' amazing, or 'performing at tomorrow's Pride parade' amazing?" Julie asked, and Luke rolled his eyes fondly and reached up to tuck a curl behind Julie's ear.

"Definitely 'Pride parade' amazing, estrella." He promised her and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Julie blushed and scrunched her nose as Alex, Reggie, Bobby, Willie, Nick, Carrie and the Dirty Candy crew immediately agreed.

"I'm a much harsher judge than your darling Luke, and I can confirm it was flawless." Carrie assured Julie with a grin.

Julie chuckled fondly and shook her head, rolling her eyes. "If you all insist."

"We do. Now," Willie clapped their hands, clasping them together. "I request to hear Now Or Never."

"Ooh, I second the request!" Carrie nodded.

"Third!"

"Fourth!"

"Your wish is our command." Luke smiled and Alex counted to start the song, everyone smiling as Ray walked in with a snack and water tray.

"Hey, kids."

"Hi, Mr. Molina!"

"Hi, papa!"

Ray grinned as he walked through the door in time to catch a song and leaned against the wall, lip syncing along.

Julie and the boys rehearsed the song and stopped for a water break, chatting about how excited they all were to be performing at something as big as a Pride parade. It was a pretty damn huge thing for everyone.

No one slept that night, too wired to even think about it.

Julie grinned as she looked up and turned off her phone alarm, running to open Carlos and her parents' bedroom doors. "Happy Pride!" She grinned as she ran back to her room and opened her laptop to Zoom. Soon, she had Flynn, Willie, Nick, Carrie, her girls, and her boys on screen as she ran to grab her hair products. "Hey, my people!"

"Hey, superstar! Boys. Rapunzel. Blond Troy Bolton. Twilight Sparkle. Biliam. Flynnigan. Candy Stripers." Luke grinned and blew a kiss, in the middle of changing into his POISON t shirt.

"Hey, Julianna! Lucas. Alexander. Robert. William. Nicholas. Caroline. Flynnie. Crew." Reggie grinned as he combed his hair and waved.

"Hi, Julie! Ladies. Love of my life. Boys. Willie-boo." Carrie grinned as she brushed her wig out to re-curl it later.

"Hey, Jules! Sweets. Gigi. Lexi. Lulu. Chaos crew." Bobby winked as he sprayed on deodorant.

"Hi, Julie! Candy canes. Boys. Partners in crime." Flynn smiled, braiding pink, white and orange ribbon into their hair.

"Hello, Julie. Luke. Reginald. Bobbles. Flynn-tastic. Care-bear. Nicky. Honeybunch. Candy fruits." Alex smiled before downing a glass of orange juice.

"Hey, Julie! Hot dog. PeterPatter. Chaos siblings. Sweethearts." Willie waved, braiding rainbow ribbons into his hair.

"Julie. Ladies. Boys. Enby buds." Nick waved, combing his hair.

"Julie. Ladies. Men. Non-binary friends." Kayla blew a kiss, popping a gummy vitamin in her mouth.

"Hi, Julie! Candy crew. Chaos children." Halle grinned, brushing the bangs of her wig.

"Hey, my darlings!" Sofia grinned, waving as she nibbled on her toast.

"Hi, gayngels!" Kyra giggled, flipping her pancakes.

"How are the members of The Rainbow Brigade on this fine day, my loves?" Julie asked as she combed her curls. She laughed as everyone started to answer the question at the same time, resuming her hair combing.

"All good here, Julie." Flynn answered once she stopped giggling.

"Here as well." Willie gave a thumbs up.

"Almost perfect but I'm all out of eyeliner." Reggie pouted.

"Oh, no! You can use mine, then." Julie promised.

"Sweet! Thanks, Jules." Reggie grinned gratefully.

"About as good as it's gonna get in the Patterson household." Luke shrugged. "Sparkle, Bobble?"

"All is well in the Wilson mansion, loves." Carrie grinned, looking up when she heard a knock on the door. "Yeah, daddy?" She asked once she opened it.

"Hi, baby. Hi, kids!" Trevor grinned and waved.

"Hi, Mr. Wilson!" Julie called and everyone else followed.

"So remind me of the carpooling situation?"

"Oh, we're gonna pick up my girls and Luke, Alex, and Reggie since their parents still dislike Luke and Bobby for 'corrupting their babies' and Nick only has room in his car to pick up Flynn and Willie and we're all going to Julie's to get ready together."

"Oh, ok. I'm gonna go pack all our bags with snacks and water, then. Breakfast is almost ready downstairs." Trevor smiled, walking out with a peace sign.

"Thanks for the ride, by the way." Reggie smiled.

"Hey, anything for my Gigi." Bobby promised.

Julie giggled, bringing her laptop downstairs to the kitchen where everyone was eating breakfast. "Hey, Carlos. Mom, dad! Say hey to the rainbow brigade!"

"Hey, brigade!"

"Hey, mijos, mijas." Ray grinned.

"Hey, babies!" Rose blew a quick kiss.

"Hi, Carlos! Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Molina! Looking good as always!"

"Thank you, Carrie. Julie, do you want some eggs? They're scrambled."

"Ooh, yes please." Julie nodded and then a plate of eggs, toast and pancakes appeared in front of her. "Gracias, mama."

"Mind saving some eggs for me, amor?"

"Always, cariño."

Luke smiled appreciatively and blushed. "I love you."

Julie smiled, scrunching her nose. "I love you, too."

"Hey, hey. Keep your nauseating adorable-ness to your private Skype sessions." Reggie pretended to gag.

Carrie scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Like you and my brother don't act the same way." She pointed out.

"So do you and Flynn!" Willie accused.

"Willie, so do you and Lexi!" Flynn laughed.

"I would like to point out that so do Halle and Sofia." Nick chimed in.

"True." Kayla nodded in agreement.

"OK, anyone coming over for dinner tonight, niños? I'm making my famous pastelon!" Rose piped up as she appeared next to Julie and wrapped an arm around her, the both of them laughing.

Flynn raised a hand immediately. "Ooh, I'm in! Mom said she's gonna try another duck recipe and my stomach can't take that."

"Me, too!" Alex nodded.

"Noted." Julie nodded.

"Bobins, Care-bear, can I go to your place tonight? I'm not feeling up to week-old left overs." Reggie asked.

Bobby opened his door and poked his head out. "Dad, can Reggie come for dinner tonight? ...OK!" He closed the door with a smile. "Yup."

The group laughed as they chatted and ate their breakfasts, moving their conversation to the group chat as the others made their ways to the Molina household. The groups piled out of their cars and headed inside, greeting Julie and her family with tight hugs.

"Hey, my love." Luke said in a gentle voice and pressed a kiss to her forehead, making Julie blush and scrunch her nose.

"Hi, Lucas." Julie said softly and kissed his lips, giggling against him when she heard fake gags from Alex and Reggie. "Hi, Lexi-love. Reggie boo." She said as she wrapped her arms around them, taking their bags of clothes.

"Here's your eggs, mijo."

Luke grinned as Ray presented him a plate of eggs and some waffles as a treat. "Thank you." He nodded and started eating, leaning against a wall.

"Do I see new earrings, Mrs. Molina?" Carrie asked with a grin.

"Uh-huh. You like them?" Rose grinned, showing off her turquoise earrings.

"Love! They're so pretty!" Carrie nodded.

Julie smiled as she looked around and watched her family and her found family get along so well, joking and laughing with each other. She leaned her head onto Flynn's shoulder, her smile growing when Flynn wrapped an arm around her. "Having a good time, Flynnie?"

"Absolute blast."

After Luke finished his eggs, the group stampeded upstairs and formed a line to the bathroom to change into their Pride outfits. One by one, the brigade stepped in and out in new outfits and walked to the garage to have more room to start doing their make up.

Julie hummed as she and Reggie did their eyeliner next to each other, half listening to the boys talking about how cool it was that they were singing certain songs together for the first time.

"Sunset Curve's fans are gonna get to hear our oldest hits belted out by a little wrecking ball of talent, boys! It's only the single most exciting and awesome thing that can possibly happen!" Luke bragged in excitement, huffing as he was held down in his chair and Flynn and Carrie were glittering up his face.

"I know! Dude, it's so cool!" Alex nodded, glittering up his own face. "And it's even better that it's a- Kayla, your left wing's bigger." He interrupted himself to point to Kayla's make up. "A Pride parade!"

"Oh, shoot. Thanks, Lexi." Kayla smiled and proceeded to fix it with concealer.

"And you're totally gonna come out of this with new fans, too! Think of all the people that are gonna film it for YouTube and so many people are going to watch!" Willie gushed.

"I know!" Bobby nodded and pressed a kiss to Reggie's cheek, applying black eye shadow to his eyes.

"And imagine how much Dirty Candy are gonna love watching you all sing at Pride, too!" Julie grinned. "Maybe then they'll get the whole sparkly rainbow costumes thing."

"Oh, yeah!" The group laughed as they finished glittering up and fixing wigs, and piled into their cars to go to the parade.

Dirty Candy performed a few of their favorite self love songs to the crowd and gave a few speeches about self love, acceptance and Pride to the crowd, getting the response of cheers and pride flags thrown their ways. The girls individually thanked the crowd, and Carrie glanced off stage toward Sunset Curve before announcing the next artist. "And now, a group that always has been and always will be very special to me and my girls, and not just because they're our best friends... Sunset Curve!"

The crowd erupted in screams as the girls stepped off to let the band take the stage, and Luke smiled at them, giving a playful wink to a few boys and girls in the front holding bi and pan pride flags.

"Hi, everybody! Happy Pride month!" Julie greeted, her pink, purple and blue dress sparkling in the sunlight. "How about our girls, Dirty Candy, huh?" She chuckled as the crowd screamed in agreement and glanced at Bobby, who just smiled.

"The pink one is my sister."

"And they are too powerful together." Luke joked.

"They're so much to handle." Reggie complained with a smile.

"You say that like you and Julie aren't a lot." Alex deadpanned.

Julie laughed and shook her head. "Ok, ok. Enough joking. So our first song of the day is called Edge Of Great." She announced, and the crowd screamed and started to throw flags as she sang the intro. As the boys joined in the chorus, Julie hopped and ran around, laughing and joking with the boys.

Reggie and Bobby laughed as Julie hopped around them and draped bi and ace flags around their necks.

Julie giggled and bopped their noses, skipping off to share the mic with Luke. She kissed him at the end of the song and smiled when the crowd started chanting their ship name, leaning her head on his neck. "Yeah, yeah. We get it. We're cute." She joked and Luke cackled.

"You are pretty cute." Alex agreed with a shrug.

Julie snickered and blew a kiss to Alex who threw one back and sighed, giving Luke another kiss on the cheek before launching into a speech about pride featuring comments here and there from the boys. "Boys, what do you say to Stand Tall?" She asked.

"I say yes."

"Definitely."

"Absolutely."

"Obviously."

"Well, that's a unanimous yes!" Julie announced and headed to the piano to play the song. She smiled as she played one of her favorite songs, skipping her way toward Alex as his solo came up. She draped a rainbow flag over his shoulders like a cape and kissed his cheek.

Alex whispered a quick "Love you, Julie." in her ear and she whispered "I love you." back, tapping his cheek before the group nailed the high note.

They sang the final chorus and this time it was Luke who kicked off a speech about doing what makes you happy, with Julie making a comment about Alex dating Willie even with his staunch Christian parents.

"Willie's actually here today. He's right over there." Julie pointed a thumb in the direction of Willie who blew a kiss at Alex. "Alex's parents aren't great, but Willie's grandparents are pretty cool." She chuckled.

"And that's Julie's best friend and Carrie's girlfriend, Flynn is right next to him." Reggie piped up. "Hey, Flynn."

Julie beamed as she walked toward Bobby and put an arm around him. "So this is a song is one that my boys wrote together, before I came into the picture, that they have so graciously transposed into my key so we can all sing it together-"

"Because we love you!" Bobby interrupted.

"And your voice is incredible!" Alex yelled.

"And we wanted to include you!" Luke insisted.

"Yeah, what they said. Love you, Julie." Reggie grinned.

"I love you, too." Julie grinned, looking back at her boys. "So that we can sing it together because of what it means to all of us. It's all about being free and being yourself. It's about having pride in who you are. It's called Finally Free."

The crowd erupted in cheers as Julie started to sing, leaning her head on Bobby's shoulder. She looked up as they hit the chorus and sprinted toward Luke, singing to him as Reggie shared Bobby's mic.

They sang through a few more Sunset Curve songs, the crowd screaming along to every one of them with speeches thrown in between a few songs, before it was nearly time to go. "Our last song of the day-" Julie cut herself off to giggle as the crowd awww'd and booed at her words, shaking her head. "I know! I know! We're sad about it, too." She joked and pouted. "Our last song is very special to me and my boys. It's about going for what you want, dreaming your dreams, and living. Like. It's Now Or Never."

Boos turned into cheers as the band started to play the song and Luke and Julie sang the opening lyrics together, the both of them looking up when they felt raindrops. They looked at each other with twin smirks and nodded, kicking and jumping into the puddles.

Julie giggled as she kicked a puddle in Reggie's direction and he laughed and kicked it back at her, neither of them caring about their make up or body glitter anymore.

Alex laughed through singing his harmonies with the boys, the rainwater bouncing off his drums with every hit.

Bobby and Reggie were once again sharing a microphone as they kicked puddles in Alex's direction and shook the water from their hair, glitter falling away with the water drops.

Luke laughed as he ran toward Alex's drums set and jumped onto the drum platform, wagging his tongue at his best friend.

Julie giggled as she hopped in a puddle and belted out her new solo of a second pre-chorus, bouncing her way toward Bobby while Reggie and Luke ran toward Alex.

Bobby chuckled as he and Julie did their new dance, specially choreographed just for them to do during Alex and Reggie's solos in Now Or Never: Hop twice, left step back, right step back, right step forward, hop once, high five.

Julie whooped as Reggie shouted the lyric about singing in the rain, and held her microphone out to the crowd to sing with her, holding up a fist as everyone screamed the final chorus. She sang the final line in harmony with the boys and the crowd cheered as they waved and took each other's hands, running off stage. She ran straight into the arms of her family, mentally placing this day up high in The Top Ten Best Days Of Her Life.

Paint the Streets With Rainbows - Good Omens

Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Aziraphale & OC, Crowley & OC

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Oneshot

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: Homophobia, disownment

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale accidentally end up at a pride parade after a rather nice dinner date, and meet a cheerful boy named Jordan. A week later, something terrible happens, and they step in to help out their new acquaintance.

- - - - - 

Crowley and Aziraphale had chanced upon the parade quite by accident, taking a wrong turn on the way back to Aziraphale’s bookshop after spending the morning at a nearby café. Aziraphale would have assumed it was a mere coincidence, but his more fanciful belief in fate and the divine plan belayed this assumption. The way Aziraphale saw it, nothing happened without reason. Them arriving there when they did was fate, nothing more and nothing less.

There were rainbows everywhere. That was the first thing Aziraphale noticed. There were so many rainbows: hung from trees, worn on t-shirts, draped over shoulders like capes, waved from flagpoles, and even fashioned from balloons. He noticed that there were other flags too mixed in with all the rainbows, like flowers growing in a garden, all bright and beautiful and unique.

He wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but he assumed it was good as everyone seemed delightfully happy. And there were so many people, more than he could possibly count. He had never seen such an impossibly huge crowd before.

Glancing toward Crowley, he saw a content smile playing across his partner’s lips. “What is this?” asked Aziraphale, gesturing towards the raucous procession.

“It’s a pride parade. Have you never seen one before?”

“No, I haven’t.”

Crowley chuckled. “Wow. You don’t get out much, do you?”

Aziraphale huffed - secretly a little grumpy – mostly because he knew it was true. His significant aversion to socializing meant that he spent most of his time alone when he wasn’t with Crowley. Some might call that lifestyle sad, but Aziraphale preferred his quiet life to the alternative.

“Basically,” continued Crowley. “A pride parade is a celebration of the many differences of humanity – from sexual orientation to gender – as well as a way to protest inequality.”

“Well, that’s rather nifty, isn’t it?” said Aziraphale, adjusting his bowtie.

Crowley stifled a laugh. “I suppose it is.”

“Rather a lot of rainbows, don’t you think?” quirked Aziraphale. “I always liked rainbows. They’re a symbol of hope, and it never hurts to have a little hope these days.”

“I agree.”

It was at that moment that a boy pattered up to them. He was young – perhaps sixteen by Aziraphale’s best estimate, though he had never been good at guessing ages – and was tall for his age. He reminded Aziraphale rather a lot of a golden retriever, with his long, floppy blond hair and cheerful smile, which he leveled at them both, joy painted clearly on his features.

“Are you too here for the parade?” he beamed, cocking his head.

Crowley smiled back at him. “We are. Why do you ask?”

“That’s so cool!” exclaimed the boy. “I saw you and your boyfriend—”

“Husband,” interjected Crowley.

“Sorry, husband. And I just got super excited. You guys seem so happy together, and its nice, you know? Knowing its possible. That there’s a future for me, I guess. You know, you see all the sad stuff in the news, and it gets to you. It feels like there’s no hope left, but there’s always hope. I’m probably rambling. I’m sorry for bothering you two.” The boy turned to leave, but Crowley stopped him.

“Wait. Are you here with your parents?” he asked. “We could help you find them.”

“My Dad doesn’t know I’m here,” mumbled the boy. “He isn’t exactly cool with all this stuff, and I’m too scared to tell him. And my Mum… Well, she’s in heaven now.”

Crowley frowned rather instinctually, and the kid immediately backtracked. “It’s fine though. He’s not so bad. It could be worse.”

In a spur of the moment decision, Aziraphale pulled a newly miracled business card that hadn’t existed seconds ago from his jacket pocket and pushed it into the boy’s hands.

“What your name?” asked Aziraphale.

The boy gave him a quizzical look. “Jordan. Jordan Stewart.”

“It’s been nice to meet you Jordan,” beamed Aziraphale. “If you ever need help, call the number on this card.”

“Okay.”

“Good lad,” said Crowley. “Now go have fun. You’re at a pride parade after all.”

Jordan smiled, tucking the business card into his jacket pocket before sprinting away, throwing his arms around a boy with dark, curly hair. The boy stumbled back, only just catching his balance before he tumbled over.

“Ash! You made it,” exclaimed Jordan.

Ash laughed. “You thought I was going to miss your first pride? I’m not that bad of a friend,” he smirked. “Seriously though, how did you get away? I thought your dad was giving you trouble.”

Jordan shrugged. “I told him I was hanging out with some friends at the park.”

“And he bought that?”

“Yeah. I’m surprised too, to be honest. If he asks, tell him we were hanging out at the park with the others.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve got it.”

Crowley and Aziraphale watched the boy leave with his friend, firmly believing that would be their last encounter. They were both equally surprised when they received a phone call from Jordan just one week later.

Aziraphale was doing a little late-night reading before bed, and Crowley had wrapped himself around his husband, rather like he was trying to constrict him. Neither of them expected the phone to ring.

Crowley had whined and grumbled but Aziraphale insisted on fetching the phone just in case it was something important – a call from a supplier or customer, perhaps.

Aziraphale answered the call and Crowley buried his face in his pillow, still grumpy that Aziraphale had pushed him off. He immediately shot up when he heard Jordan’s voice on the other end.

“I didn’t think you’d pick up,” mumbled the boy. His voice was cracking and coarse, and Crowley knew that he had been crying. “I’m really sorry to bother you so late. I just didn’t know who else to call.”

“Is everything okay?” asked Aziraphale. “You sound upset.”

“My father found out about everything, and he kicked me out. He said that he’d rather have no son than… than me. I can’t believe this happened,” choked out Jordan. “I never did anything wrong.”

Aziraphale cast a helpless look at Crowley who hastily took the phone from him. “Jordan, can you tell me where you are?” asked Crowley.

“The McDonald’s on Main Street. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“That’s okay,” said Crowley, scrambling out of bed and throwing on the first pair of trousers he could find, an effort that was made difficult by the fact that he only had one free hand to do it. “Stay right there. We’ll pick you up.”

“Thank you.”

Crowley’s trusty Bentley got them there quickly, and Aziraphale suspected that Crowley used some of his demonic influence to turn all the traffic lights on the way there green. He wasn’t complaining though. Anything that got them there faster was worth it, regardless of the possible consequences.

Jordan slipped silently into the car, eyes still puffy and red from crying. There was a short silence, before Jordan spoke. “Why doesn’t he love me?” he asked. “What did I do wrong?”

“This wasn’t your fault kid,” said Crowley. “It was never your fault. Some people are just trapped in the past. I understand how you feel. I do. Being disowned by the people who are meant to love you is shitty. It was shitty when it happened to me, and it’s still shitty now. There will always be shitty people in the world, but they’re becoming less common these days.”

“I agree,” said Aziraphale. “Barring the excessive swearing. Let’s try and limit the swear words in front of the young one, shall we dear?”

There was just the barest hint of a smile showing on Jordan’s face, and Aziraphale smiled a little to himself in turn.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” asked Aziraphale.

Jordan shuffled in his seat. “Not really. Ash always said I could stay with him if something happened, but his parents are super strict, so I dunno if they’d be too pleased about that. I wouldn’t want to make things hard for him.”

“You can crash with us if you’d like,” said Crowley. “We have a spare room, don’t we Angel?” Crowley cast Aziraphale an expectant look, almost asking – begging – for permission.

Aziraphale hastily conjured an extra room in his bookshop, complete with fresh sheets and a newly vacuumed carpet, before nodding in agreement. They did now.

“Are you sure I won’t be an imposition?” asked Jordan.

“We’re certain,” said Aziraphale.

“Thank you, it means a lot.”

“It’s really no bother at all.”

They arrived at Aziraphale’s bookshop a little while later and Crowley and Aziraphale lead Jordan to the spare room. The moment he walked into the room, Jordan crumpled, tears streaming down his face.

“Are you alright?” asked Aziraphale. “Do you not like it?”

“No. Its perfect,” whispered Jordan, blinking through tears as he looked around his surroundings. The room was small but neat, with a single bed on one corner, adorned with bright blue sheets. There was a wardrobe in the other corner and a small bedside table as well.

But the thing that Jordan couldn’t stop staring at was the rainbow flag hung up on the wall.

He was safe here. For the first time in years, he knew he was safe.

Bloom

A/N: Happy Pride! Here’s some Crossbow Canary to celebrate 🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️

They met at a Halloween party. Helena was half-listening to a group of fellow freshmen discussing the politics of TokTok when she noticed her— a petite, athletically-built blonde wearing a yellow hard hat and a slick of red lipstick. It was a shade too dark for her, standing out stark against her pale skin; the mark of a makeup novice. She was laughing with a small group of friends, her smile radiant. She was radiant.

Then, as if she could feel Helena staring, the blonde looked straight at her.

There was a faint flush in the apples of her cheeks as she offered a tremulous but encouraging smile, and Helena practically bolted across the room toward her.

***

Her name was Dinah.

They met again a week later, by accident, at a small martial arts studio off campus. Helena arrived just as Dinah was leaving, her face shiny and blotchy with exertion, her ashy blonde hair plaited back in a sweaty French braid. She wore black Lycra gym-gear beneath her pea coat to stave off the approaching New Jersey winter. Her coat was a vibrant cornflower blue, reminding Helena of the rich pigments Italian Renaissance painters used for Mary Magdalen's robes. Without the dark smear of lipstick, she could see the graceful curve of her prominent Cupid’s bow, giving her face a sweetness that belied the clear-eyed maturity few their age possessed.

“Oh,” Dinah stopped short on the sidewalk, her face lighting up. “Hello,” she grinned.

“Hi,” Helena grinned back at her, suddenly giddy as if she’d eaten a gallon of corn syrup. She could feel excitement fizzing in her veins, propelling her closer like a moth to the flame.

“Do you train here?” Dinah asked, re-shouldering her gym bag.

“They have a Krav Maga class I like,” Helena explained. “You?”

“Jiu Jitsu,” Dinah shrugged, smiling. “My old trainer swore by Krav Maga, but it doesn’t have the same…” she pursed her lips as she took her time to search for the word. “Grace,” she settled on.

“Grace?” Helena smirked. “Are we talking about ballet or fighting?”

Dinah laughed easily. “My first sensei would say they were the same thing.”

“Wow, how many senseis and trainers have you had?” Helena teased. She immediately regretted it when Dinah visibly tensed, her expression abruptly becoming guarded.

“I was fostered at a dojo for a little while when I was a kid,” she explained haltingly, her brown eyes darting off to the side. “And uh, then I was in a group home until I was eighteen and they… let me keep taking karate to give me some, uh, stability I guess.”

Helena’s eyes widened at this revelation, delivered so candidly in passing on the sidewalk—that she’d grown up in foster care; that she was an orphan. She could feel Dinah’s uneasiness, and it inspired a desperate need to comfort or reassure her, a wholly unfamiliar impulse.

“My dad sent me to a Swiss boarding school when I was twelve,” Helena blurted out. “After my mom died. It was kind of like a group home just with, you know, rich kids and archery. And a castle.”

As the words came tumbling out of her mouth, she knew she was being horribly rude by being so flippant about her privilege, but it seemed to lighten Dinah’s mood, her kind smile blooming again.

“Well, just because there was archery doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard to be away from everything you knew,” she said, meeting Helena’s eye meaningfully.

She understood loneliness, Helena realized. She understood the pain and anger of abandonment. Yet she didn’t carry bitterness around in the same way Helena did; bitterness that didn’t taste as bad when Dinah was standing here proving there was a way beyond it. It gave Helena hope—something she wasn’t well acquainted with after repeated tragedies.

A squat city bus puttered past behind them, catching Dinah’s eye. She glanced at Helena apologetically, a sliver of vulnerability slipping into her otherwise confident counternence.

“Maybe I’ll try Krav Maga sometime,” she offered, almost shyly.

“Maybe we could get coffee afterward,” Helena suggested, beaming.

They exchanged numbers before Dinah ran to catch the bus.

***

A week later, they kicked the shit out of each other at the studio and went for coffee. Helena had expected Dinah to pick up the Krav Maga moves quickly since she was well-versed in Karate and Jiu Jitsu. She even indulged in a stupid fantasy about helping her find the right techniques and positions, a blatant ploy to be physically closer to her.

But when they began sparing, Helena quickly realized she was wildly outmatched. Dinah did not need her help—she already knew Krav Maga even if she hadn’t quite mastered it. Then the minute Helena got the upper hand, Dinah gave up on the prescribed moves the instructor gave them, and took Helena down with a few quick karate strikes she couldn’t counter effectively.

Helena’s back hit the mat hard, knocking the wind out of her. Her eyes widening as Dinah pinned her down with a steady hand flat over her heart, the heel of her small hand grazing the top of Helena’s breast through her sports bra.

Dinah released her and sat back, looking smug.

“You cheated!” Helena laughed, accepting a hand to pull herself up to sitting.

“What’s the point of fighting if you aren’t going to win?” Dinah shot her a knowing smirk.

“What happened to grace?” Helena demanded, her eyebrows raising when Dinah faltered but quickly recovered.

“You’re right,” she agreed, her face softening like she’d come to some internal revelation. “It’s not about winning. It’s about the practice, and finding balance.”

“Alright, sensei,” Helena rolled her eyes but she couldn’t stop smiling—another unfamiliar impulse. “You can buy me a coffee to make up for cheating.”

“It’s called mixed martial arts for a reason,” Dinah insisted as they headed for the changing rooms. “I was just mixing in more martial arts”

“Yeah, yeah.”

***

For the rest of the semester they trained and went for coffee at least once a week. They would tell each other which parties they were going to, what events their friends were discussing attending. It went unsaid that they were leaving breadcrumbs for each other, a trail that would lead them back together.

Their social lives began to blend. Helena became friendly with Dinah’s carefully cultivated group of scholastic overachievers and misfits. Meanwhile, the gang of loud, kittenish gay men Helena surrounded herself with fawned over Dinah. They showed her how to do her make-up properly and cheered when she paraded around the dorm in high heels for them like a clumsy newborn colt.

“She is gorgeous,” one of Helena’s friends hissed to her.

But it never went any further than a lingering touch or look as Helena restrained herself from making the first move, but not because she feared rejection. She’d taken a gap year after boarding school, a boozy thirteen months during which she’d travelled across Southeast Asia—Vietnam, Cambodia,Thailand, Bali, Singapore—and then on to Australia. The youthful hedonism that characterized backpacking made it easy not to be shy or ashamed of her attraction to both boys and girls. But she resisted making the first move with Dinah— she wanted Dinah to come to her.

***

Helena stayed at Princeton over the holidays, just like she’d done throughout boarding school. The only place she could feasibly go was Gotham to be with her younger brother, Pino. He was seventeen, and Helena had just enough contact to suspect he was already involved in the ‘family business,’ which she tried not to think about. They mostly kept in touch via Snapchat and Instagram, a selfie and meme-based relationship that removed the painful edges of reality.

Dinah returned to Gotham for Christmas to visit another member of the orphanage she’d grown up in. She wanted to see how they were getting on without her, she said, though she wasn’t looking forward to being back in the city.

But something obviously went wrong while she was away, because once they were back at school she began determinedly avoiding Helena. She made excuses about being busy with classes and other friends needing her attention. Weeks went by and Helena started to feel crazy, like she was missing something obvious, which meant she was either blind or too stupid to be able to see what was happening.

Then out of the blue Dinah showed up at Helena’s dorm, her hair freshly cut in a cute, girlish bob that brushed the collar of her cornflower blue coat, her tawny eyes glowing determinedly.

“Helena,” she breathed, searching Helena’s face. “Will you go out with me?”

***

They went out for dinner, something Helena had never done with a girl before. She’d slept with women, but she struggled with the idea of going on a date with a woman. She was disappointed in herself, that she hadn't evolved beyond worrying about the perception of others when she knew what she wanted.

But those worries were relegated to background noise when Dinah showed up on her doorstep, wearing a candy-apple-red shade of lipstick that suited her perfectly.

“Hey,” she greeted Helena, her smile radiant. Excited.

***

After dinner, Helena walked Dinah back to her dorm. When the moment she’d been waiting months for finally arrived, Dinah tucked a loose piece of Helena’s hair behind her ear, then tentatively laid her palm across the curve of her jaw. Her eyes fell shut as she drew Helena's mouth down to hers.

Her lips were eager and curious, but clumsy. Helena paused to draw back, the thick fringe of her eyelashes brushing Dinah’s nose as she opened her eyes. Dinah’s hand was still resting on her cheek, while Helena’s hands had found Dinah’s waist. Her eyes were heavy and her lips parted, the red lipstick faded.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Helena said slowly. “But... have you ever kissed someone before?”

Dinah’s face split into a rueful grin, without a trace of shame. “I have now,” she pointed out playfully.

Helena mirrored her grin and gave Dinah’s waist a gentle tug, pulling her closer as their lips met again.

***

They went on more dates, and eventually they found their way into each other’s beds. They got to know each other’s bodies, bringing them closer in a way Helena hadn’t realized was possible. She’d only experienced sex as a blurry, rushed encounter, but with Dinah she was overwhelmed, drunk on how badly she wanted her.

Their friend groups continued to cross pollinate with the queer communities on campus, and they slowly began to build a chosen family together since neither of them had one of their own. Helena was thrilled to see Dinah slowly shed the armour she’d built to protect herself, becoming more open and accepting of her own feelings and desires. But Helena found it harder, in part because she was lying to Dinah by not telling her the full truth of her past.

Her family and their ‘business’ was a dark, shameful secret she had never told another person, and she couldn’t decide how Dinah, with her strong moral compass, would react. It was like an invisible blockade between them, one Helena knew could destroy the delicate fabric of their blossoming relationship if she didn’t resolve it.

About four months after their first official date, it became impossible to keep it inside any longer, especially because the words “I love you” were constantly threatening to spill past her lips. It was only when she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer that she found the courage.

“You can tell me anything, Helena,” Dinah insisted, holding Helena’s hands between hers. They were sitting on a blanket on the quad, the sun shining bright overhead as the first vestiges of spring bloomed around them.

Helena felt physically sick. She’d imagined every way this conversation could go, and she usually settled on Dinah being horrified once she learned the terrible, violent truth.

“It’s about…” she swallowed thickly. “My family. I haven’t been… completely honest with you. My dad. He wasn’t really a businessman. Not in the traditional sense.”

Dinah’s eyebrows raised, but she gave Helena’s hands a reassuring squeeze.

After a few false starts, Helena explained that her family wasn’t like other families. That her father and his brothers and generations of Bertinelli men before them hadn’t had… normal jobs. They were criminals. Successful, powerful criminals whose influence manipulated the very fabric of Gotham society.

Dinah listened, her expression becoming more and more guarded as Helena ploughed ahead. She could see what she was thinking. That Helena’s family was partially responsible for the corruption and crime that plagued Gotham. That the city was a shithole because of men like her father. It was all true, or at least it used to be, before the masked freaks took over and made everything worse.

She explained that a man named Mandragora tried to usurp her father when she was twelve, killing her mother, aunts and uncles, cousins and family friends in a blood feud. She was shipped off to Europe for safe keeping while her brother Pino, just 9 years old at the time, was sent to live with extended family in Central City. Ultimately her father’s associates and friends ran Mandragora out of town, but not before the damage was done. Helena remained in Switzerland, and Pino returned to Gotham, where he was raised by what extended members of the Bertinelli clan.

There was one more piece of information Helena couldn’t bring herself to share, because just thinking about what happened to her father made her blood boil—anger frequently outstripped grief when she thought about what Harley Quinn did to her Papa.

She hunted him. Tortured him. Murdered him.

But she couldn’t say the words. Mobsters were bad enough. Harley Quinn was an entirely different kind of villain, one Helena didn’t want her family — who she loved deeply despite their flaws —associated with if she could help it.

By the time she’d finished, Dinah had taken to playing with an errant daisy springing up from the grass, her attention wholly focused on the little white flower as she worked through her thoughts. When she finally looked up at Helena, she was cautious, still uncertain, but eventually her lips curved into a smile—kind, open, generous, and reassuring.

“I have to tell you something too,” she shrugged helplessly. “I love you, Helena... and you aren’t responsible for the choices your family made. You still loved them and lost them and I know how much that hurt you.”

Helena’s eyes widened, shocked that Dinah was speaking these words to Helena. For Helena.

“I—“ she faltered, searching Dinah’s face. “I love you too.” She sprung up to her knees and pitched forward, grabbing Dinah’s face with both hands and making her shriek with laughter as they fell back on the grass together. “God, I really really love you, Di.”

Dinah laughed again, her eyes closing as Helena urgently kissed her. She felt as if she’d never be able to properly express how much she felt. This was the polar opposite of the grief and anger that plagued her. This was the beginning of something beautiful and powerful and safe.

Dinah would save her from the darkness, she decided.

She was the only one who could.

***

A/N: I know you’re all here for Jarley, but in the same way I wanted you to love Ed, I’m hoping you’ll simp for this ship. I loved writing Dinah through the eyes of someone who sees the best in her since she’s been pretty limited to her own self-punishing point of view and Harley’s warped vision of the world. And it’s a relief to see Dinah begin to grow up now that she’s around people her own age she relates to… Even wearing lipstick is like an indulgent act for her that she’s finally allowing herself to take part in. Yes, Dinah! You deserve love and lipstick and self care! ❤️🎉

Love For All

Peter Stark-Rogers & Stark-Rogers!reader (twins)

warnings: mentions of drinking/being drunk, pretty fluffy

1.8k+ words

series masterlist

a/n: happy pride month (lol I queued this in february just so I didn’t forget to post it) anyways im bi and pls know my page is a safe space for everyone 💗💜💙

Fluffy piece where Tony and Steve are chosen as the grand marshalls for the pride parade and it becomes a family affair.

“this just in, you all officially have the coolest dads in history!” Tony bellowed as he dramatically entered the common space, Steve right behind him with a plethora of eye rolls.

Right as you were about to protest, Bucky chimed in, “neither of you are my father.”

“with the way I’ve saved your sorry ass? Might as well be.”

“saved my sorry ass? Oh Stevie, have you forgotten who pulled your ass out of every back alley fight you got into? Or have the years 1932 to 1941.”

“I did not start a fight in 1932!” Steve argued back, hands placed firmly on his hips.

“bullshit! 5 years old, playground 2 blocks over, Arthur Williams.”

Steve frowned slightly, “damn I forgot about that.”

Beside you Peter snorted, “you got into a fight when you were 5?”

“Wow darling, you came out of the womb with righteous indignation didn’t you?” Tony added with a small smirk as he moved to rest against the back of the couch.

Steve threw his hands up in defeat, “oh haha laugh it up. Yes I’m old, yes I’m stubborn. Can we please just go back to how we’re cool?”

“Wait before that, back to the ‘not my fathers thing’ does this mean you see yourselves as the team fathers? Because if you’re adopting more people, I want in!” Clint said cheerfully.

“Sorry we capped out at four.”

You stuck your tongue out at Clint with a little ‘ha ha’ because you were mature like that. “anyways… why do you think you are the coolest dads? I wanna get my rebuttal in soon.”

Tony bopped the back of your head playfully as he dropped a very rainbow piece of paper into your lap. Peter instantly leaned into your space to read it. You pushed him back with a shove to the forehead. “relax nerd I’m gonna read it out loud.”

“hurry up I’m getting antsy.” You threw an unimpressed look at Clint who had practically crawled into Bucky’s lap to get closer, not that Bucky minded.

“Chill.” You smoothed out the paper and held it up, “All hail the next Grand Marshals of NYC Pride, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. We are happy to formally announce the two superheroes and super husbands as our fearless leaders of the float parade this year.”

“That’s the public announcement they put out, turn it over to read the letter they sent us.”

“Dear Mr. Anthony and Steven Stark-Rogers, we are so excited to welcome you into our NYC Pride Parade family. As this year’s appointed Grand Marshals it is both our duty and pleasure to pass the Pride Baton over to you. Included in this letter you will find the rules and expectations of our Grand Marshals, as well as what is permitted for first floats. We would love if you extended this invitation to your entire circle of family and friends to join you in the parade and on your float.”

You put the paper down and tilted your head back to stare at your dad, “you? Grand Marshal? Really?”

“What’s so shocking about that?”

“umm…. You’re old and not cool.”

Bucky sputtered a laugh beside you as Tony bopped you on the head again.

“Was this your way of telling us to come to pride with you?” Peter asked.

Steve shook his head as he flopped into a nearby loveseat, “actually this was our way of telling you that we need your help coming up with ideas for the float and how to decorate it. But of course we want you to join us on the float, we’ll be inviting the rest of the team as well.”

“I’ll help decorate but Bi-derman is making another appearance this year.”

Tony slapped his forehead, “can you take your old suit at least? The paint was a bitch to get off last time.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “the old suit chafes.”

You grimaced, “I hate this conversation.”

“I think you should do a dog themed float, Lucky can be our mascot.”

Bucky sighed, “of course that’s your suggestion.”

“what about the history of pride? Recognizing the Stonewall Riots and the two black transgender females that started it all. Plus then we can also advocate for Black Lives Matter. Make it clear that to support one, you have to support the other. Educate and entertain.”

Tony smiled, “that’s not a bad idea y/n.”

Steve looked at you with hopeful eyes, “are you willing to help organize and coordinate?”

“can I invite friends to help?”

“yes.”

You smiled, “then yes.”

------

“when I said organize and coordinate, I didn’t mean take over the conference room we use regularly for avengers meetings.” Steve said with a deep sigh

“it’s the only one with a vending machine.” MJ helpfully pointed out, taking another large bite of her pizza slice.

“yeah it was the only way to get Clint to sit through meetings without leaving to get food.” Steve explained as he stepped into the room and took in the large array of papers everywhere. The four teenage girls that occupied the room were all busy with one thing or another, looking intense and determined.

MJ snorted, “figures.” Her hand ghosted over the page again, dragging the pencil with it and creating another addition to her sketch.

Steve’s brow furrowed for a moment and he took a step closer to get a better look, “is that me?”

MJ nodded coolly but offered no other explanation. Betty huffed a laugh, “we’re trying to design both you and Mr. Stark crown-like head pieces.”

“crowns?”

You rolled your eyes, “Pops, you really do only hear what you wanna hear. Crown-like head pieces. I know dad would go for a full ass crown but I knew you wouldn’t and we want you two to match.”

Steve studied the photos of celebrities that were projected on the wall. “and that?”

“The 2018 Met Gala. Theme: heavenly bodies. There were a bunch of great head pieces that night, we’re using it for inspiration.” Gwen supplied, “let us know if there’s any you like.”

“I wanna go in a Cardi B direction.” You stated without taking your eyes off your computer screen, you’ve obviously already committed every possible headpiece to memory.

“don’t taint his selection with bias!” Betty cried

MJ waved her off easily, “there’s no way he knows who Cardi B is.”

“thanks for the confidence MJ.” She just smiled cheekily at him.

“I think he should choose something like what Frances McDormand was wearing.” Gwen stated with a small smile

MJ laughed, “as much as I think that would look amazing, there’s no way he’s picking that.”

“who’s this?”

You barely had to glance at the photo to recognize the red and gold dress and of course the iconic headpiece, “Black Lively.”

“Okay well I like that, it’s simple.”

“what about…” Gwen drawled as she typed something and new photo, a larger one, took over the whole wall, “Something like SZA’s?”

Steve took a step back and grimaced slightly, “it’s kinda… big.”

“But if it were smaller?” Gwen pressed politely

“I suppose.” Steve glanced around at the four girls. “You guys have a lot of stuff planned.”

“Oh yeah.” You looked up with a big grin, meeting your dad’s eye. “It’s gonna be great.”

“You’re not designing us costumes too are you?”

“Well Tony specifically said not too and that he already had something planned.” MJ said before eyeing Steve up and down with the critical eye of an artist, “But we could design something if you wanted us too.”

“No, I kinda of already have a plan too.”

You rose a questioning brow, “oh yeah? Please tell me you’re not going to be wearing something boring.”

Steve rolled his eyes at you and obnoxiously bumped his hip into your side as he walked out, “I’m not clueless on how to dress for Pride. Plus, I like dressing up for it, it’s fun. And it’s not something we got to do back then. I’m planning on taking full advantage.” And with that he walked out dramatically and closed the door.

Betty laughed slightly, “ten bucks that he paints the shield.”

Gwen shook his head, “No way. I think he’s gonna wear one of the flags as a cape.”

MJ clicked her tongue, “I know for a fact he’ll be wearing his ‘trans rights are human rights’ shirt.” Pause. “and probably his rainbow pants.”

You looked at MJ with a perplexed expression, “why do you know about my dad’s rainbow pants?”

MJ smirked slightly, “he wore them to pride a few years ago. Plus, me and peter talk about things. You’re not the only Stark-Rogers twin I hang out with.”

Gwen obnoxiously nudged Betty with her elbow and a large wink, “Oh yeah… she talks to Peter.” MJ scowled at the two as you snickered behind your hand.

MJ grumbled slightly, “let’s just get back to work.” It was silent in the room until the three other girls heard MJ mumble, “I never have to deal with this at college.”

You burst into a fit of laughter.

------

Pride was without a doubt a 100% success.

The float looked great. The area had already been swept for trouble. One Grand Marshal was moderately drunk. And Everyone was dancing and partying. Perfect.

Even the float attendees looked great. Clint was the brightest of the all. With no shirt on, glitter all over his chest, a rainbow tutu around his hips, tight purple booty shorts underneath, knee high socks with the pan pride flag on them, plus his signature purple converse… he looked good.

You’ve been snickering every time you catch Bucky not so subtlety looking Clint up and down. But that being said, Clint was doing the same to Bucky because he had someone managed to get the stoic and whiney super soldier into a rainbow button down. Nothing else, as that wasn’t Bucky’s jam. He paired the shirt with simple jeans but you were sure that he would be covered with glitter later.

Peter had been swinging around the parade, his first Stark suit now painted a vibrant pink, purple, and blue. Plus there was a large, messily painted on heart over where the spider sat in the middle of his chest.

You and all your friends had taken up the dance floor on the float, and if you said so yourself, you all were killing the dance moves.

Tony was more than tipsy because Bruce was on babysitting duty tonight for Morgan, so he let himself go and lean heavily against his husband, who just grinned at him all lovingly.

In the end, it was a good day. You threw beads and candy to the crowd, joining them at times for drinks and dance parties. You laughed endlessly with your friends and your family. And yeah… it was a good day.

Plus, all your friends had been correct.

Steve wore his trans shirt in solidarity with the ongoing movements and the float.

He wore his rainbow pants because they were “super fashionable y/n” and to support everyone.

He painted his shield purple, blue, and pink to show off his own sexuality and support Peter.

And he had a pansexual flag tied around his neck to match with Tony’s pink, yellow, and blue shirt.

He looked great.

From Chin To Yon Rah (Part 39)

This part was typed mostly on mobile. Sorry for any typos.

She remembers the first time she had seen snow. The feeling...it was bizarre. If she were to be completely honest, she would best compare it to the sensation of her worst days--the days when her mind is slipping and everything feels off and nothing feels real. But instead of fear, she feels awe. Instead of dread, she feels an almost childlike sense of delight.

And perhaps, in some sense, she is a child again; she has something new to discover. Something curious and strange.

"Hajime,look." She points out the window. "It's everywhere." And perhaps it is a silly thing to ask but she inquires anyhow, "how do we walk through it?"

"Like you walk anywhere else?" He quirks a brow.

"But in the Water Tribes...I've heard that there is special equipment used to navigate the snow."

He laughs, "the snow isn't that deep here!" He opens the door and gestures for her to exit.

"It's cold." She complains. Even under her winter wools, she finds herself shivering. And here Atsu goes, dashing out into the winter with no coat at all.

"Git back in here!" Hajime calls. "I tol' you last year 'bout going outside without a coat!"

Atsu comes to a halt, the magic of the morning coming to an abrupt pause with him. " But dad!"

"You need to help Rikka get dressed, she never had to wear a winter clothes before."

This seems to allure the boy and with a wide and gleeful grin he darts back into the house. "Hurry up and put your coat and gloves on, Rikka! We have to build snow people and throw balls of snow at each other and…" he chucks a coat and a pair of gloves at her--Hajime's she assumes based upon the size of them.

Azula stuffs her fingers into the gloves. Only one layer doesn't seem sufficient but another layer or two seems to aggravatingly restrict her finger movements and if she is going to destroy Hajime and Atsu at this snowball war, she is going to need a full range of movement from her fingers.

She steps out into the snow, she hears it sift beneath her weight. So far everything is going accordingly, there is no ice to land her on the ground.she deduces that, in most places, the snow only reaches up to her ankles which is, though an inconvenience, manageable enough. But she can't imagine that running from enemy fire will be as easy. She supposes that if she needs a speedy getaway she can just melt some of the snow and listen to Atsu screech about her cheating. Perhaps she would feel more guilty over it if Atsu weren't a merciless little brute. He does not wait for her to assemble her protective mound of snow before bombarding her with an onslaught of tightly packed snow.

"Gotcha!" He whoops with each hit that she fails to evade. It would seem that while she was assessing her surroundings he hand been stockpiling an extensive artillery.

"Geez, Atsu, show mercy, this is her first snowball fight." Hajime chuckles from his spot on the porch.

It is a nice thought but Atsu, the feral beast, knows nothing of mercy. He tosses snowball after snowball. She manages to create only one but before she can throw it, Atsu fires another shot. And this one sails directly down the front of her shirt. She feels it slide from her chest to her belly leaving her with a full body shudder as itself away. She had dropped her snowball. Never in her life has she felt anything quite like it; uncomfortable and somewhat biting but I'm a way that wasn't exactly painful.

She tosses a pathetically pleading glance to Hajime who throws his head back in a howling laugh. "Alright, alright." He gets to his feet and steps out into the battlefield.

"Uh oh…" Atsu mumbles, he is now we'll aware that he should have built himself a snow fortress. Azula gives him a smug smile as she lifts a new snowball.

"Uh oh." He repeats as her very second snowball sails right into his face.

Maybe she should feel guilty over it but he isn't crying and he brushes it right off. And besides, she is certain that he was aiming for her face the whole time anyways, he simply didn't have the arm strength to land any hits higher than chest level.

And by the end of the hour she is almost embarrassed by how satisfied she feels to have beaten a child at a children's game. Any tickles of shame are washed away by Atsus delightful giggles. His enthusiastic, "wait until Caihong and Kim get here! We'll kick yer butts until you don't have butts no more!"

People have bestowed upon her many threats. But none have been quite like that.

That day she learns that Atsu is very much a little shit and that, likely, she will never truly shake her competitive nature.

.oOo.

She has been to plenty of awkward dinners but the silence of this one is so thick that it is dizzying. She can’t help but notice the way that Sokka twiddles his thumbs and looks in every direction but his father’s and Katara’s. It occurs to her that he is ashamed of her. Is embarrassed to be seen with her. She supposes that it is a good thing that the snow storm has picked up too strongly to go for a stroll through the village. She can only imagine what sort of looks she will get from everyone else. A firebender...the princess among people who the Fire Nation has displaced and nearly destroyed. She is everything that they detest and she supposes that Sokka has every right to be embarrassed by that. Embarrassed in the same way that she had been to parade him around the Fire Nation at first.

“Aren’t you going to say anything, dad?”

The man gives something between a hum and a sigh, “I’m trying to figure out what to say.” Hakoda looks at her. His face isn’t as steely with stubbornness as Katara’s.

Azula stares at her palms. She should take her mittens off. But any little motion will draw too much attention. Not that Katara's resentful gaze has left her since she got to the table. She wants to have a taste of her seaweed stew but she is already mildly nauseous with nervousness and the scent of the stew doesn't exactly kindle her appetite.

"Just talk to her for a bit, dad, you'll like her." Sokka promises.

The flutters in her tummy intensify that much more. She wishes that he wouldn't make promises that even he isn't certain of.

"She likes history and strategizing just like you do and…"

"And she used it to foil our invasion and get him sent to the Boiling Rock." Katara folds her arms across her chest.

Azula cringes to herself, truth be told, she had forgotten about that. Comparatively speaking, it seemed much less profound than some of her other misdeeds.

"Yeah well she's done a lot of changing since then." Sokka insists. “See, she even has the redemption haircut!”

“The what?” Azula finally speaks up.

“Yeah, Zuko said he cut his hair before joining us and now look at him, he’s happy--but in a grumpy old man sort of way, he’s a good friend, and he’s got long flowing tresses.”

Azula rolls her eyes. She isn’t sure if she wants to slug the man to death right in front of his father and sister or if she finds his recant amusing. She supposes that it would ruin her chances to make amends of she murdered Sokka now. “It wasn’t a redemption haircut I had matted hair and, maybe, lice.” Ji-Zhang had only mentioned it being matted. She supposes if she had lice that they would have shaved…

“Azula.” Sokka manages to cut through her comfort musings. Granted her musings weren’t at all pleasant but her inner monologue very much beats the external alternative.

She realizes that Hakoda has extended his hand. It is far less formal than a bow but she will take what she can get. He gives her hand a shake. “I’m Hakoda.”

“Sokka told me that, already. And he has already told you my name.”

Sokka flushes, “you’re supposed to introduce yourselves to each other.” And then he turns to his father, “she’s still working on the whole having a normal conversation thing. It runs in the family.”

“I can have a normal conversation just fine.” She folds her arms and holds her head high.

“Well it’s...interesting to formally meet you, Azula.”

“Dad!” Katara says sharply. “She’s not a part of this family. I don’t care how much Sokka likes her.”

“Come on Katara.”

“Don’t ‘come on Katara’ me! You’re the one trying to welcome her into the Water Tribe.”

“I get it, this is for the whole Jet thing isn’t it.”

This time Katara blushes.

“Who is Jet?” Azula furrows her brows.

“Yes, who is Jet?” Hakoda agrees.

“You don’t know about Jet?” Sokka asks at the same time as Katara says, “you weren’t supposed to tell him about Jet!”

“Jet’s just some jerk that flooded a whole village full of kids. To drive out some Fire Nation soldiers.”

“Gaipan?”

“Yeah.” Sokka nods. “You know about that.”

Azula returns the nod. “We lost a few soldiers there. There were noble men and women.” She pauses. “Stubborn too. They might have been alright if they fled with the rest of the village but…”

“Firebenders and their pride.” Hakoda clicks his tongue.

She wants to call the man on his generalization but frankly she hasn’t met a firebender yet who didn’t value pride. And maybe that is why it is so hard for her to apologize to Katara and Hakoda. Though she isn’t certain that she particularly needs to apologize to Hakoda--he had led an invasion to defeat her father. He had encroached on her land. It was her duty to see those plans foiled. Though pointing that out probably won’t serve her too well.

“Can you give her a chance, Katara? I gave Jet a chance.”

“No you didn’t. You were protesting and whining the whole time.”

“And I ended up being right.”

“So will I.” With those three words, she storms out into the snow.

“That went flawlessly.” Azula grumbles.

“Just give her some time, she’ll come around when she realizes that you’re actually kind of a really sweet person.”

“I will set everything you love on fire…”

“You just like to pretend that you aren’t.” And to Hakoda he mutters, “It’s part of the firebender pride thing. You can’t let anyone know that you’re nice.” He slings an arm over her shoulder and pulls her in closer.

Azula sighs, it is going to be a long, long vacation or whatever in the spirits’ name she could call this.

parkrstark rec list

I finally put together a list of links to my fics, even the ones stuck in multi-chaptered ficlet collections. I tried separating it as much as I could as clearly as I could. 

If you like my fics, maybe consider supporting me on ko-fi! If you’re interested in commissioning a fic, email me at [email protected]

Click the read more to see the full list!

One Shots: 

his guy in the chair (Interwebs, Iron Dad, 2k, may and tony co-parenting)

sick peter (iron dad, ficlet, tony takes care of a sick peter)

mind control pt 1 (iron dad, ficlet, peter is mind controlled to hurt tony) 

mind control pt 2 (iron dad, ficlet, tony is mind controlled to hurt peter)

12.15.17 (Iron Dad, 4k, Star Wars nerds)

in color (Iron Dad, 4k, Christmas fic)

Honorary Parker (Iron Dad, 3k, Christmas fic)

when the sun shines (we shine together) (Peter&Ned&MJ,  Iron Dad, 1k, the Lipsync battle video)

To My Son (Iron Dad, 3k, Tony teaches Peter how to shave)

hell on the heart (Iron Dad, 1k, the ferry scene)

see what i see (Iron Dad, 2k, Peter is being bulled)

don't quit your day job, kid (Iron Dad, 2k, Tony is sick)

our boy (Iron Dad, 4k, Peter uses BARF to cope with Uncle Ben’s death)

there you'll be (Iron Dad, 2k, Peter gets his wisdom teeth removed)

concrete angel (Iron Dad, 3k, Skip is Peter’s teacher, tw: noncon)

i hold on (Iron Dad, 2k, Peter starts college)

my arms will hold you (keep you safe and warm) (Iron Dad, 3k, Peter and Tony have oxytocin withdrawals, better known as cuddle withdrawals) 

somebody must have (prayed for me) (Iron Dad, 4k, Bad guys use the sonic taser on Peter and Tony)

i followed your ashes (into outer space) (Iron Dad, 2k, Endgame Speculation)

make me strong  (Iron Dad, 10k, Skip is an old friend of Tony’s, tw: noncon)

so tender and mild (Iron Dad, 3k, Tony holds babies to help with his insomnia)

the eleventh commandment (Happy&Peter, Rhodey&Peter, 6k, Skip is Peter’s coach and Happy finds out, tw: noncon)

i pour my heart into your hands (Iron Dad, 1k, Tony has insomnia)

you had to pick on me (Iron Dad, 9k, parallel of Peter and Tony being bullied)

the talk (Iron Dad, Iron Bros, 3k, Tony and Rhodey give Peter the talk while they’re drunk)

almost home (Iron Dad, 2k, whump)

cryin' for me (Iron Dad, 3k, Peter dealing with Tony’s death post EG)

little miss magic (Iron Dad, Peter&Morgan, 1k, Peter gets invited to Morgan’s birthday party)

my old man (Iron Dad, 8k, Peter and Tony get into an argument while on a trip and are kidnapped)

if something should happen (Iron Bros, Iron Dad, 3k, Rhodey has to look after the family once Tony is gone)

you shouldn't have to (Iron Dad, 1k, Peter is terrified of needles)

you're gonna be (Superfamily, 3k, Baby!Peter is sick)

from now on (Iron Dad, 16k, Peter and Tony are stuck in a blizzard, Peter loses his arm)

i will, i promise (Iron Dad, 1k, Peter’s hurt and Tony’s protective)

ben's old number (Ben&Peter, Iron Dad, 5k, Uncle Ben angst)

without you (i was broken) (Iron Dad, 4k, Peter doesn’t feel his spidey senses around Tony)

always on duty (Iron Dad, Happy&Peter, 4k, Tony is hurt at a gala)

would have loved her (Iron Dad, 1k, Peter is a dad and missing Tony post EG)

father knows best (Superfamily, 3k, Peter gets bit by the spider)

Iron dad-iversary (Iron Dad, ficlet, Tony and Peter had known each other one year) 

Iron Dad Reunion (Iron Dad, ficlet, Peter and Tony reunion post iw)

interwebs get together (Interwebs, ficlet, Peter kissing Ned in the scene when May walks in on them right after Ned finds out his secret) 

peter is a father (iron dad, interwebs, ficlet, dad!peter)

tony stark defense leader (iron dad, ficlet, peter has a tony stark stan blog)

peter’s birthday (iron dad, ficlet, peter’s birthday being celebrated post IW)

ned and peter’s relationship is discovered (interwebs, May&Peter, Iron Dad, ficlet, may and Tony confront Peter about Ned)

bucky&peter (Bucky&peter, ficlet, stuck in the sou stone)

the talk (iron dad, ficlet, tony gives peter the talk)

Multi-Chapter Fics:

danger or trouble, i'm there on the double (Iron Dad, 5k, underage drinking at a party)

i see myself (in you) (Iron Dad, 28k, Peter and Tony swap bodies)

standing in the gallows (Iron Dad, 59k, Peter is kidnapped by Justin Hammer)

just believe (Iron Dad, 18k, Christmas fic, It’s Wonderful Life vibes, tw: noncon)

one makes me want another (Superfamily, 12k, Steve and Tony adopt another kid and Peter feels out of place)

mr. misunderstood (Iron Dad, Harley&Peter, 19k, Peter and Harley meet and don’t immediately get along)

come morning light (we'll be safe & sound) (Superfamily, 14k, Tony, Peter, and Steve are stuck living their worst nightmares)

fortune and glory (Steve&Peter, Stony, Iron Dad, 29k, Indiana Jones AU)

Whumptober/Whump Bingo

your heart is a masterpiece (and i will keep it safe) (Stony, 1k, tremors)

stabbing (iron dad, ficlet, hurt!peter) 

bloody hands (iron dad, ficlet, Uncle Ben angst) 

insomnia (iron dad, ficlet, tony has insomnia) 

“no, stop!” (iron dad, ficlet, panic attacks, skip westcott) 

poisoned (iron dad, ficlet, peter drinks a spiked drink meant for tony) 

betrayal (iron dad, ficlet, peter talks to norman osborn at a fair) 

kidnapping (iron dad, ficlet, tony and rhodey rescue peter)

fever (iron dad, ficlet, sick!peter)

stranded (iron dad, ficlet, peter has a Really Bad date)

bruised (iron dad, ficlet, may’s abusive boyfriend)

hypothermia (iron dad, ficlet, peter and tony kidnapped)

electrocution (iron dad, ficlet, tony watches peter be tortured)

“Stay!” (Iron dad, ficlet, peter buys his first apartment)

torture (iron dad, ficlet, peter is water baorded) 

manhandling (iron dad, ficlet, people try to kidnap peter at school) 

bedridden (iron dad, ficlet, peter is stuck in bed) 

branding (iron dad, ficlet, hurt!peter) 

rescue (iron dad, ficlet, tony rescues peter from torture. pain meds don’t work) 

serial killer (iron dad, ficlet, peter is kidnapped by a serial killer)

murderer (iron dad, ficlet, bad guy tells tony to kill an innocent person or peter) 

infinity war au (iron dad, ficlet, tony dies after thanos stabs him)

ripped from each other’s arms (iron dad, ficlet, tony and peter kidnapped together) 

one way window (iron dad, ficlet, tony watches peter be tortured)

attempted rape (iron dad, ficlet, peter saves tony) 

mouth stitched shut (happy&peter, ficlet, hurt!peter)

explosion (happy& peter, ficlet, someone tries blowing up happy’s car) 

chained to a bed (iron dad, ficlet, peter is kidnapped for 7 months)

5+1s

5 times tony forgot peter was just a kid (Iron Dad, 12k)

5 times it wasn't a hug and the 1 time it was (Iron Dad, 31k)

it's always sunny (in the rich man's world) (May+Peter & Iron Dad, 7k, Peter’s financial struggles)

5 times peter clung to tony (Iron Dad, 21k)

waving through a window (Superfamily, 9k, 5 times peter says he’s okay and one time he means it)

Stardust & Nightmares Series (tw: noncon)

baby, don't cry (Iron Dad, 7k)

don't scream  (Iron Dad, 5k) 

just close your eyes (Iron Dad, 8k)

and pretend (Iron Dad, 7k)

it's a dream (Iron Dad, 40k)

Asexual!Peter Series

the broken radio (Iron Dad, 4k, realizing he’s ace)

here to stay (Iron Dad, 3k, Peter deals with bullying)

these are my people (Iron Dad, 3k, Tony takes Peter to a pride parade)

life ain't always beautiful (Iron Dad, 2k, Peter has his first heartbreak

Darling, Don’t You Ever Grow Up Series

with arms wide open (Iron Dad, 14k, Tony and Pepper get pregnant, written pre IW) 

5 times peter saved aurora (Iron Dad, Aurora&Peter, 39k, ...and 1 time they save each other)

follow your arrow (Iron Dad, 1k, Asexual!Peter)

what brothers are for (Iron Dad, 5k, Peter protects his little sister, tw: noncon)

i will keep you safe (Peter&Aurora, Iron Dad, 3k, Peter and Aurora get stuck while hiding a birthday present for Tony)

Baby Mine Series

close to my heart, never to part (Iron Dad, 63k, Peter gets turned into a toddler)

give me back my kid (Iron Dad, 5k, Peter with the Avengers as a toddler)

Superfamily Series

Sick Peter (Captain Pops, ficlet, Steve takes care of a sick peter)

plane ride (Superfamily, ficlet, Peter gets nervous on a plane ride and his dads try to calm him down) 

After school Nap (Captain Pops, ficlet, Peter comes home to see Steve napping and joins him)

Artist Steve (Captain Pops, ficlet, Steve draws Peter) 

GPS and Road Rage (Captain Pops, ficlet, Peter annoys Steve while he’s trying to drive)

boy (run like you're bulletproof) (Superfamily, 3k, Peter comes home from patrol with a bullet in his stomach)

without a fight (Superfamily, 5k, Peter gets angry at his dads before they go to a mission and then they’re presumed dead)

with me by your side (Superfamily, 2k, Peter is kidnapped and a bomb is strapped to his chest) 

but i'm stuck (in colder weather) (Superfamily, 3k, Peter falls into a frozen lake) 

you should never blame yourself (Superfamily, 4k, Peter needs his appendix removed) 

give 'em what they want (without being too different) (Superfamily, 2k, Peter discovers he is asexual)

fear is a liar (Captain Pops, 1k, Peter struggling with his trauma of a past abusive relationship, tw:dubcon. self harm)

bloom (me and you) (Superfamily, Parksborn, 3k, Peter is bullied at school for being asexual)

take my heart clean apart (Captain Pops, Parksborn, Superfamily, 6k, Peter and Harry working through their relationship when one of them is asexual and the other is not) 

how can it be time already? (Captain Pops, Superfamily, Parksborn, 15k, 6 times steve stopped tears and 1 time he couldn’t)

can you hold me? (Captain Pops, Superfamily, Parksborn, 75k, Peter and Steve are kidnapped)

Constant as the Stars Above Series

peter's stars (Captain Pops, Stony, Superfamily, 175k, Steve is Peter’s biological father and they are homeless) 

chapel, little apple (Superfamily, 3k, Slice of Life)

stars in the city (Superfamily, wip, sequel) 

Stony Bingo

steve rogers-stark: full time dad/husband, part time spider relocator (Superfamily, 1k, “go be a hero”, AU, baby Peter)

sometimes, it all gets a little too much (Stony, 1k, Cuddling)

walking a tightrope with you (Stony, 2k, AU: canon divergence, steve and tony share a bed in clint’s farmhouse)

How many kids would the boys want? Just curious🤔

I had to think about this for a while, but, this is what I came up with! 

Classic-  Classic isn’t picky, you want kids? Cool. You don’t want kids? Well, he’s still got his amazingly cool bro, who he pretty much raised, and will always kinda be like his kid, so... Still cool. But he’d love to have little mixes of him and you running around. He’d love to have one kid to dote on, to be his accomplice in pranks and jokes, but, he also would want them to have a sibling, because he knows that he works so hard that he won’t always be there next to them, and he knows first hand that growing up is better with a sibling. Any more than three or four, and he’d start to get overwhelmed, though, even at four, he’s relying a little bit on extra help- thank stars for Paps. 

Creampuff-  Kids? He loves kids! This boy would be that parent running around all crazy with his kids in the park or yard, if you have one, and he thinks, the more the merrier! He also is always up to date on their lives and making sure they are having the best lives possible. Though one is absolutely fine, he’d love four or five! And if you do give in, or want a large family also, you will see Cream be the most exhausted he’s ever been, completely wiped and about to fall asleep on the couch after finally getting the kids in bed. He will start to understand how Sans feels, being so tired all the time. You’ll never hear him complain, though! He is always satisfied and happy with his life with you and the kids. And if you don’t want kids, count on basically having an animal rescue at your house because he needs to give this love, and when he sees a box with ‘free x’ and no one around, knowing that they’re not going to have anyone to take care of them, he can’t just leave them there! 

Red-  You don’t want kids? Well... he’d probably be garbage at being a dad, anyway. Probably better all around. You want kids? You’d really be willing to bind yourself to him forever in that way? Be ready, he’s about to grab you and tell you, ‘let’s go make one, then.’ You’re also lucky that it takes intent for monsters to have kids, because he’s never going to be able to keep his hands off of you, and your kids will either constantly be embarrassed and whining ‘ewww!’ or just think that it’s normal for their parents to be so ridiculously in love. Ideally, when planning, he wants two, because it’s always better to have someone who’s got your back, and no one does that better than siblings. But. He’s the kind of parent that loves to just sit back and watch how his kids are doing, what they’re getting up to, and the adventures they have, seeing them learn, and helping along the way, and, once they get past a certain stage, such as both being able to walk and talk, almost able to feed themselves, don’t be surprised to find him back nuzzling you from behind while you’re trying to get something done, murmuring in your ear about having another one. Count on him making jokes about needing a spare, ‘just in case’, for the third kid, and ‘backup spare’ for the fourth, beyond that, though Red, like Classic, will start being overwhelmed, and glad that his bro is so great with kids and loves his niblings so much, always declaring that, as they are related to him, they are better than others! 

Edge-  If you don’t want kids, that’s fine, Edge has you, and that’s enough! He’s not against having kids, though. He’d have one, training them to follow in his footsteps, teaching them the mastery of everything he’s learned, how to stay safe, and also to have honor and pride and protect those who cannot protect themselves. He could see having a second child to trail behind him and their older sibling as they train, taking in what they can and also working to be great, and then joining the training when they’re old enough. However, two is his limit, anything over that and he becomes anxious. He needs to keep his brood small enough to protect effectively, and he’s got you, the kids, his idiot brother, and whatever mess he’s gotten himself into (his family) to count into that mess. He knows he can only stretch so far, and won’t compromise the safety of those he loves. 

Blue-  Blue loves kids! He would be the soccer mom, planning out all the activities, making sure they get there, cheering from the sidelines- he proudly drives that minivan! Though he still drives his motorcycle when he’s not taking the kids out everywhere. He is so energetic that he always gets mistaken for the babysitter or sibling of the kids, and it rubs him the wrong way, but he’s gotten pretty good at just turning and calling for a ‘DOG PILE ON DADDY!’ and enjoying the shocked look on the person’s face as the kids all pile on him. As for how many, he’d love to have four or five, to ‘use the minivan to it’s fullest!’ And despite having all that energy, he tires faster than some of his Papyrus type counterparts, and usually ‘forces’ his brother to come with him on outings, to ‘keep an eye on him and make sure he’s not being lazy’ but he really just needs the help, because he’s stretched so thin. (urgh!) If you didn’t want any, he’s going to be the volunteer coach for many youth sports and events, he’ll still have that minivan to haul around his team, and he’ll still have his brother there to help cart everything around. Stretch takes it all in stride, though, hanging out by the bench with the snacks and equipment holding the clipboard and whistle. 

Stretch-  Stretch likes kids ok. If you don’t want any, he’d be cool with that, he’ll be getting enough interaction with them from always dealing with his bro’s escapades. If you do want them, he won’t be able to handle more than one or two, and he’ll be taking them with him to tag along with his bro’s craziness, though Blue will be a dedicated uncle and take less coaching work to have more time to ‘help’ him with the kids. He’s glad that his bro wants to hang out with them so much, not only because he’s so cool and the kids will grow to be that cool, too, but also because they’re getting their exercise in, and he’s too sedentary to do it with them. 

Black-  Black’s not sure about kids- of course, any children of his would be amazing! It’s the other scum out there trying to corrupt them he’s worried about... So if you don’t want any, he’d be fine with it. However, if you do want them, he does need a successor! Someone to take over for him down the line! Black is going to have a learning curve. First child, everything’s new, and he has no idea what he’s doing! Imagine him awkwardly holding the baby up, uncertain, nervousness radiating from him, demanding, “WHY ARE THEY MAKING THESE NOISES? WHAT DO I DO!? LOVE- YOUR CHILD NEEDS YOU!” and if you’re not home, "MUTT!!” By the second child, he thinks he’ll be able to do this, no problem! He’s no longer an unpracticed first timer who doesn’t know how to change a diaper! However- now he needs to learn how to keep two kids happy via multitasking at different levels, and to keep up with their needs, so he is still calling for help more than he’d like. He’s finally got it on the third one, though! He’s still learning new things with the first, but it’s far enough apart that he can keep up with the multitasking, and he’s already worked with the lower levels and is comfortable enough with them that he looks like a pro. On the fourth child, he’s insanely proud that if any of his children (or other people’s children as well, the deservingly smug bastard) are having the tired tantrums, all he has to do is pick them up and lay them against his chest and they fall asleep. Like Blue, he also gets mistaken for the babysitter or sibling of his children as he proudly marches around with them in line behind him. When someone comments how cute it is that they’re all playing ‘follow the leader’, he will stop, they will all fall into a parade rest, and he will thank the person for the compliment, and- “YES, I AM THE LEADER, AND YOU’D DO BEST TO WATCH YOURSELF, AS MY BROOD IS QUITE THE CAPABLE BUNCH!” 

Mutt-  Mutt always seems so chill- if you don’t want kids, he’s chill with it, he still checks on his brother and any niblings he has, so he’s pretty parentally content. If you do want kids, you’re going to think you’ve somehow missed all the signs that you’re now entangled with the mob. No one bothers his kids. They have friends, happiness, normal childhood things- but if you watch closely, he’s always got his socket on them. If, by chance, some poor ignorant child did bully one of his kids- you won’t hear about it after the first time, and... that child’s family may have had to suddenly move... He doesn’t need a lot to be happy, you and his brother are enough, and if Black plans to have kids it will affect how many Mutt wants, he needs to make sure he’s not spread too thin so he can properly protect and enforce the safety of you all. One or two are preferred, but you might be able to convince him of three. 

Axe-  Unfortunately, due to his injury, he can’t handle as much stimulus as he used to. If you decide that kids aren’t a good idea, or you don’t want them, he’s onboard. If you do want them, he’ll do his best to support you. He could handle only one, possibly two, and even at two, he’s worried he’s gong to mess up and forget he has the kids with him or something when he’s out, and you’ll get panicked calls from him at the store, “did i bring the kids with me-?!” “No, hon, there’re here with me.” Which is why- he wants help. He loves you, and if you want more kids, he wants you to be happy and give you what you want, and he’s not against the idea of more kids, he’ll just need his bro to come live with you, if he doesn’t already. The kids’ childhood will be wonderful, with three caregivers who love them, and they’ll be the most competent kids in any of their classes. Having Axe for a parent and Crooks for an uncle, or possibly co- parent, they’ll learn how to hunt, trap, store, prepare, and keep all sorts of food type things- be it a garden, wild game, or the livestock and chickens at home. Not only that, but they will know how to defend themselves and survive in all sorts of situations, if anything happens. They learn this all as fun family togetherness stuff, of course, but Axe has seen hell, and he wants his kids to be able to survive anything, to be able to go off the grid from anyone that would compromise them and stay safe and well taken care of when shit hits the fan. 

Crooks/ Bun-  Much like Axe, he can’t handle as much stimulus as he used to be able to. He loves kids, but his years underground have worn him down, and he’s not as energetic as he used to be. If you don’t want kids, it will be fine, he still has his brother to take care of, after all. If you do want them, he is still taking care of Axe, and while Axe can help with the kids, the trauma and PTSD they both have can hold them back some times. One or two kids would suit him just fine. They are going to learn all the wonderful things the two have to teach them, too; Papyrus will teach them about preserving and storing food, gardening, gathering, and trapping, while keeping things safe, and Axe will make sure they know how to defend themselves, protect their possessions, and hunt. His lower energy capacity does mean he gets worn out faster, and needs time for resting, usually putting the kids down for a nap at this time. At the end of the day, though, he’s happy with whatever family he’s got, especially when it’s got all the people he loves in it.

Ask Masterlist?

Homesick (pt 3) with Katsuki Bakugou

Note: Hi! This is long I'm sorry fakldj;vnj. Also I didn't know how to end it. And I didn't proofread well. It's a mess, BUT a fluffy, cozy mess. Hopefully you enjoy this as much as I did :)

———————————————————————

It was Friday night and you were having a movie marathon with the Bakusquad. You had hoped it would take your mind off things, but once everyone had passed out on the couch, it was no help. You gently moved Mina's head and Kirishima's arm off of you and headed to the kitchen where you found Boom Boom Boi hanging by the counter. This didn’t really phase you because you were all friends. You were only super close to Kaminari and Mina, but you still knew the others well enough.

“Oi! What are you doing in here, idiot?” He asked looking up from his phone.

“Well hello to you too. I’m just grabbing some water. Why are you in here anyway? You’re supposed to be watching the movie with us, you know."

“Not that it’s any of your damn business but I got bored. I can’t believe you guys like to watch that shit. I don’t believe a lot of the stuff you guys do. I’m surprised you didn’t all parade in here like a bunch of dumbasses!”

You giggle to yourself as you join him at the counter with your glass of water. “They’re actually all asleep. It’s kinda hilarious if you look at it. They’re like spaghettied together.”

“And you’re not with them? I thought we wEre SuPpoSed to Be waTcHinG thE mOVie ToGeThER?” As usual, Kacchan took great pride in mocking you. He has the widest smug grin on his face. However, he noticed you weren’t firing back as much as you normally would. Even with the voice and stupid faces he made you still just stared at your glass.

“Eh I mean you’re right but I couldn’t sleep and the movie sucks if there isn’t constant commentary from Kaminari.”

“Don’t blame you. Shitty Hair’s snoring wakes me up half the time.”

“Nah it’s not that. I just-.... I don’t know. Nevermind.” You were getting all flustered and fidgety now.

“Well, something is on your mind because you’re being so fucking weird. Just spit it out!” He was now doing his usual seething while waiting.

“Okay fine! I-I just miss my family I guess. It’s stupid but that’s why I can’t relax or fall asleep. And it’s just gotten worse the longer we’ve been at the dorms.”

“You’re not stupid.” He mumbled and you short your head up to look at him. Did Lord Explosion Murder just say something not insulting? To you?

“Everyone misses home. Who wants to live at their fucking high school? Hell, I even miss my parents sometimes. My dad may be a wimp, but he fucking knows how to cook.”

“Mine too. He would make my family pancakes for breakfast every weekend.” You sighed and looked back down. You guys sat in silence for a while. Bakugou had no clue what to do. All of a sudden he sighed and grabbed your wrist. “Come on, loser. It’s late we’re going to bed.”

Now you had no clue what to do. What the hell was he doing? “Uh no that’s okay Bakugou! You go ahead I’ll stay here and keep an eye on them.” You said trying to resist but he just kept dragging you along.

“They’re fine. Probably won’t even be up until noon tomorrow. So let’s go!” He kept dragging you along and you finally ended up at your door. Luckily it wasn’t locked so he just swung it open and threw you in bed. He pointed a finger at you and said “stay there” and stomped out. And you listened, waiting to see what he was up to. A few minutes later he returned with a blanket and pillow and flopped then on the floor and slammed the door shut.

“What are y-“ you start to speak but are interrupted.

“I’m staying in here so you’ll go to sleep and get out of your sappy mood and I don’t have to listen to your bullshit tomorrow. Now goodnight.” He started to get set up on the floor. Of course, in a very aggressive manner, grumbling the whole time.

“Well if that’s the plan we can share the bed if you want. There’s plenty of room.” You said quietly, not wanting to look at him while saying it.

“Pch- fine if that’ll get you to sleep faster.” With that, he threw his stuff on the floor and crawled into bed next to you. Once he got under the blanket you could feel a wave of heat. This mans is a fucking furnace. He flipped with his back towards you and pulled on the blanket.

You faced away from him too and said “Thank you. Goodnight Bakugou.” You were smiling to yourself. “Yeah, whatever.”

Almost falling asleep a few times but waking yourself back up, you still couldn’t sleep. You knew Katsuki was out tho because of his soft snoring. Still trying your best you moved around to get more comfortable. This led to Bakugou putting his arm on you. You froze and your eyes widened. Was he doing this on purpose? Did you wake him up? Why isn’t he yell- Your panic was stopped by the boy continuing to snore. Phew, at least you didn’t have to worry about that. Continuing to try to get comfortable, you tried to nuzzle closer to him and he pulled you close. You soon fell asleep with a little smile on your face.

———————————————————————

The next morning you woke up with the sun shining in your eyes. You expected to wake up just as you fell asleep, in Bakugou’s arms. Oh, you were ready to give him so much shit about it. But you soon felt the lack of warmth from your side and flipped over to realize the boy and his stuff was gone. You shrugged. Of course he was already up. That boy rises with the sun. So with not being able to tease Kacchan, you got ready to see if the others were up yet.

As soon as you walked out of your dorm you found Kaminari.

“Hey! There you are Y/N!” He ran up and gave you a hug. “Where’d you run off to last night?”

After being so kind to you, you decided the least you could do is keep your mouth shut about what happened with Bakugou. “Oh, I just went to bed after you all fell asleep. Too many times where I almost got kicked in the face. Plus, Kiri snores sound like a construction site.”

He chuckled at that last bit. “That’s true, but you get used to it after a while. Well, we all missed you. Wanna hang with us in a bit? We can sneak some of the food Bakubro is making.”

“Oh yea, for sure! See you later, Kami.” You both did finger guns as you walked away. After you turned the corner, you turned around and kept walking. Kacchan was cooking? Usually he’d be out training by now? You quirked up your brow and kept going, curious to see the goodies that were being made. As you got closer and closer, the sweet scent of whatever was being cooked got stronger. Now super hungry, you skipped into the kitchen. There you found the spiky blonde wearing an apron and flipping pancakes. Your heart swelled with happiness. You stood frozen but your smiled radiated warmth. He was doing something nice? For someone else? For you??! You ran up and gave him a hug. A blush quickly rose to his cheeks.

“Oi! What the hell are you doing dumbass?!” He lifted his arms and looked down at you holding his waist and resting your head on his shoulder.

“You’re making pancakes?! I can’t believe you remembered, Bakugou!” You gave him a squeeze.

“This isn’t because of all that shit you said last night! Listen, I’m making these because you put the idea in my head and I needed to make them! I’m making these because I want to! For me! Got it?!”

You let go and gave him a grin, “Well then why are you making so many?”

“THAT’S JUST HOW MANY THE RECIPE MAKES!!! You can have some if you shut up about it!”

“Yes, sir!” You said giving him a fake salute. Then you skipped away, running into Kaminari who was heading into the kitchen.

“Nice! You’re making pancakes, Bakubro?!” He tried picking one up from the finished pile and Bakugou slapped him away.

“GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD, SPARKY!!!”

“You’re really telling me you’re gonna eat all of these? Yea, right.” He said while trying again to get a pancake which ended the same way as it did before.

After slapping him away again Bakugou looked up and gave him a nasty glare. “I said they aren’t for you.”

Kaminari then backed away with his hands up. “Okay, sheesh. I get it. Pancakes are good man, no judgment here.”

Then after a little while, Bakugou came into the dining area with two plates. He sat across from you and placed the plates on the table. A big smile grew across your face. “Yay! I’m excited to try them.” You take a bite, “Mmmmmm! These are so good!”

“Tch- I know. Spent so much time on ‘em they better be fuckin good.”

You guys ate together, barely talking but that was alright. Bakugou kept looking up every so often when you weren’t looking to make sure you liked them. His ego doubled after seeing you so happy. Soon, you finished your amazing breakfast. So you got up and walked to the other side of the table. “Thanks again.” You said softly. Then you bent down and gave him another hug and a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m gonna go finish getting ready for the day.”You grabbed your plate and rushed back towards the kitchen with a blushing, smiling face.

Bakugou was broken for a sec. Poor boy didn’t know how to react. He just grumbled under his breath, trying to sound angry to hide the fact he was smiling and his face was bright red. At least he got you out of your shitty mood. That was the goal, right? (Soon after he told you that he may like you more than most people. Dude can’t hide what he’s feeling, so he just spits it out. You gave him lots of more hugs and kisses after that.)

———————————————————————

BONUS!

Kaminari yelled to Bakugou from across the room. “Hey Bakubro! You have any food left from your date with Y/N??!!”

“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

Kaminari heard sparks and ran for his life.