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#my advice is. for safety reasons you may have to play it off as 'oh but not actually' type thing
SDC is having your species dysphoria reflect your experience with gender. youre kind of an animal but only in secret. its not strong enough to warrant being open about to anyone other than close friends. you feel like you cant get too attached in case youre found out and have to give it up.
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ohsayit · 25 days
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Astarion had a quick chat with my Dark Urge
Hi, it's me again. [Anson approaches with her rambling gibberish again]
Here is the conversation initiated by Astarion (the ! abvoe his head screamed at me to go talk to him)
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(Note: Possibly you can find a video of the same dialogue choices on youtube or something. The performance adds a lot to it.)
His reply to DU's first line was sort of playful snarky as per usual. Therefore one of the dialogue options for DU's second line was a pouty one. "if you are not taking this seriously I am not talking to you." of some sort. For role play reasons, my DU went with the "possessive urge deep inside me" option.
Then A's line slightly shifted from "Oh tell me about it. I guess I will sit through this conversation for my own safety" to "Aww you poor thing. Let's use it to the fullest."
At first I thought he resonated with the "possessive voice in the head" part. At this point, DU already murdered the bard at night right at the camp and she didn't know if she really did it (though all the evidence suggested she did). So very likely, she did it under the influence of the voice inside her. That is sort of similar to compulsion from his vampire lord. Could he be showing empathy for a valuable ally?
But the last line changed my mind. If he considered DU's murderous tendency was from the voice, then he wouldn't put it as DU's "nature".
My guess is, he thinks DU has some terribly strong instincts that are consuming.
Our man is impulsive. I can see him making decisions and doing things on a whim. However, if a certain urge gets consuming, then he wouldn't like it. I see a strong sense of self there. Although he basically put that on display everyday. lol It pops out to me in a surprising way.
The "advice" he gives is pretty much what he lives up to himself: play it for all it's worth.
Our boy has the strongest intention to survive out of the entire group I think lol. Whatever shit hand he is dealt, he tries to play it for all it's worth. ("I am not going to die. YOU are going to die instead, bitch!" energy lol) I don't think the whole mindflayer business would exist even in his wildest dreams, but he does use it to it's fullest. Secured himself some allies and get all the aid he could to finish off both Caz and then control from the Brain.
He is also very true to one's nature as well. He seems to have zero problem with someone being innately murderous. His problem is when it becomes overwhelming and consuming.
Now we are (finally) at the end bit of this gibberish of an observation for our babe:
Dude has a strong sense of self
Is less impulsive/emtional than he sometimes looks
He possibly has 10 times Gale's survival will (the version of Gale when we first met especially)
He may take pity on people, under specific circumstances
If Halsin embraces "nature's gifts", our dude embraces "nature in one's soul"
This conversation from the game and conversations I see on the internet, sometimes looks like a "nature vs nurture" thing to me. This is a hot topic for parenting; however, it also applies to adult-to-adult relationship (somehow?).
The one thing I constantly think about is that, what do we see in him? How is it so different for everyone? Do we see ourselves or him? What's the proportion? I am slowly figuring out what part of myself I see in him.
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hibiscus-tome · 2 years
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FFXIV Write 2022, day 18: extra credit (miss the boat)
(part 1)
“Wait, he died?”
For someone who claims to work extensively with adventurers, Thancred looks awfully shocked at the revelation.
“Yep!” Yae answers with perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm. “Got his head sliced clean off in one of them dungeons, according to this one guy over at the Thaumaturges’ Guild.” She laughs because it had been a particularly stressful day — to come into the Quicksand, only to learn of her employer’s untimely demise. There’s a safety net for such occurrences, of course — a bi-weekly salary paid to a retainer whose contract has been severed through no fault of their own, until another such contract can be signed — but there’s a strongly implied end date to such generosity, and until Yae can find another master, the amount of gil she can reasonably send back home is… questionable.
“Good gods…” Thancred mutters, his face nearly as white as his hair — but he doesn’t seem wholly surprised at this outcome, which is all the evidence she needs that what happened to Avere, grisly as it is, is far from unexpected.
“I mean,” says Yae, “that’s what we retainers like to call an occupational hazard.”
“Well, that’s adventuring for you,” he retorts. “High rewards, but with quite a high level of risk as well.” He leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. “Have you ever considered it, by the way? Adventuring, that is.”
Who hasn’t, really? Those high rewards he speaks of would certainly go a long way in keeping her family comfortably afloat in Kugane, at least for the foreseeable future. That said… “I have a family to support, Thancred,” she answers. “As exciting as it all sounds, I need something more stable, with more reliable coin and a greater assurance of my long-term safety and employment.”
“Understandable,” he says, “but the Adventurers’ Guild isn’t the only collective of its kind, you know.”
“Oh sure, I believe it. It’s only the largest and most reliable one out there, right?”
“And the least selective about who it admits into its folds.” He smiles, slow and sly and everything that Mama said to watch out for when Yae first boarded the ship headed for Aldenard. “There are others that seek adventurers of more… shall we say, unique qualities.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” says Yae, laughing outright. “How many of those are outright pyramid schemes, I wonder?”
“As many as there are legitimate organizations, I reckon,” Thancred replies. “If I may offer a bit of advice…”
“Pass.”
“You’re young,” he says. “Able-bodied. There’s so much you could do, outside the scope of your current duties.”
A compelling argument, to be sure; shame that it’s nothing she hasn’t already argued with herself a hundred times over, in the months she’s spent here. It’s not like she hasn’t wondered, exactly, what it would be like if she were to at least try. It had been rather nice, when those Sultansworn soldiers thanked her up and down for doing her part to defend that noblewoman over at the big tree; those scuffles between warring Brass Blades factions she only barely dodged a while back had made her wonder, if only briefly, if she should perhaps prioritize her thaumaturgy training over her work at the Miners’ Guild and as a retainer.
(—and as friendly as Thancred has been these past months, she still hasn’t told him about the strange dreams, beyond that first one by the big tree. Scenes played out before her, depicting the lives of people she scarcely knew — yet, somehow reflected in her mind as if she herself is living those very lives.)
“You’re only saying that because I was stupid enough to try swinging a sledgehammer at a Voidsent,” she retorts — because really, her inability to mind her own business and keep her nose out of other people’s affairs is what started this whole mess.
“And it’s precisely that kind of bravery,” he says, “that people in these parts tend to value.”
She gives him a flat, unamused look.
“All I’m saying,” he continues, “is that you wouldn’t want to miss the boat.”
“Like I said,” she says, “I have a family to support. I need something stable and reliable, and adventuring is anything but.”
“Oh, all right,” he says, sighing. As he rises to his feet, he leaves a handful of gil on the table — enough to cover both his and Yae’s orders. “But if you do change your mind, I would ask you to do one thing: ask Mistress Momodi about the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. She’ll point you in the right direction.”
“Don’t count on it,” she retorts, as she waves him off — but she won’t deny that the offer is… tempting, to say the least.
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dmc-tings · 3 years
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If I may. The Four Lords with a reader who is a child of the Bakers who moved to the village, for whatever reason, like a year before Eveline showed up at the house and infected them.
How would they handle the news that their humans parents were infected for years and are now dead? Like would they try to hide the deaths, would they be honest and tell the reader about what happened and how would they go about comforting you? Would they try and track down Lucas and Zoe to bring them to the village?
Long Lost Baker with the Four Lords
(This was an interesting one! Very fun to write!! Thank you for this and I hope you enjoy it! I added Joe cause his dlc was bussin)
Alcina Dimitrescu
She had no idea about your family background
And didn't care to ask you, since you never brought it up
But you where in the library with her
Picking out a book, when you came across a file
"Huh. You knew about the Bakers? They were my family."
"Oh?" Alcina asked, raising a brow at you, "Well they were killed. If they wher-"
You paused, shaking, "What? They... they where killed ?"
Alcina moved to your side, putting a comforting arm around you
"Yes. My Love... did you care for them?"
You nodded, almost choking on your emotions
'Dead.' You thought
You didn't even really say goodbye
Your father, Jack, didn't want you to leave the safety of their home
But your mother, Marguerite, insisted that there was more to the world, than just that old ass swamp
Zoe and Lucas really didn't want you to leave either
But you left, Lucas helping you navigate away and Zoe giving you some money, that she saved up
"The mold... The girl, Eveline, she took over the home... and your parents are gone. But your siblings and uncle live."
You looked at her in shock, you didn't know who Eveline was
But some of your family was alive!
When Alcina saw the hope in your eyes, she smiled, "What would you like me to do?"
"Try and bring them here! Please!"
She nodded, your wish was her command
For months, she had known you might want your family with you
They were being held away from the Castle, so she could surprise you
Though getting Joe and the BSAA soldiers that surrounded said home
Joe was also taken
"Come. I have something to show you." She stood up, towering over you, keeping a hand on your back
You stood, letting her lead you out
Through the Castle and Vineyard, you came up to a house, small enough for a few people
You heard yelling, a familiar voice
"LET US OUT YOU GIANT BITCH!! FUCKIN-"
"Will you shut up? She said, there was someone here we knew."
"HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE-"
You rushed to the door, kicking it down
"OW!! GOTDAMN IT!!"
Tears welled up in your eyes again
"LUCAS? ZOE!? UNCLE JOE!!"
They were speechless as well
What a happy family reunion!
Tears and hugs were given
Joe stood up, from hugging you three, to look at Alcina, "Thank you from keeping my youngest (niece/nephew) safe."
Alcina looked away, "No need to thank me, human. I didn't care for any of you, but I knew this would make them happy."
Angie and Donna Beneviento
Angie noticed that you had been feeling a bit down lately
So she told Donna about it, whom rushed to your side
"My Dear, what's the matter? Angie says your feeling blue."
You looked at her, a sad look in your eyes
"Ah... its nothing really, Love. Im... im just think about my family. I havent really been able to know anything going on with them..."
It really bothered you, and both of the ladies could see that
Donna looked at you and took your hand
"Do you remember how they looked, the last time you saw them?"
You nodded sadly, smiling wistfully
"Yep, Momma was making me a cake, for me finishing off collage. Pops he was rebuilding the old car, with my brother Lucas. And Zoe, she and I were playing in the front yard, supposing to do chores."
Donna nodded, and a bit of pollen began to swirl around you both
You sat up straight, it was your family
The Baker's, as you knew them
They were happy to see you
It made your heart burst, and you smiled
Tears falling down your cheeks, as your family gathered around you and Donna hugging you both
It felt good to see them, even though you knew it really wasn't them
Donna wiped your tears, and you sighed contently
Starting a conversation with your "mother" and "father"
Your "siblings" talking to Angie and Donna
A few hours later the pollen wore off
But you where happy, and turned to Donna
Giving her a kiss, "Thank you. I dont know what's happened to them... but that was good for me. I appreciate it."
But Donna didn't smile back, and Angie grew quiet
"Your family. They... your parents are dead..."
You looked at her, shocked, "How-"
"Mother Miranda has said that their one with the mold..."
You took that information in, knowing about your parents... was a bit of a... surprise
"And my brother and sister?"
Donna shook her head, smiling, "Alive and safe from that."
You smiled and thanked her again with a kiss
You may not be able to see them, in real life, but you COULD see them all as you remembered them
Salvatore Moreau
You had told Salvatore all about your home life, before moving to the village
He had asked about your family, trying to compare his own with yours
You sympathetically told him that you and your siblings ACTUALLY got alone
And that your family was always tight
Your mother cooked badass meals
And your dad was always the person to run to for the best advice and protection
Your brother was a delinquent genius
And your sister was always happy to just be there for you
While his "family" left alot to be desired
You had pictures of them, which you shared
He looked at them with wonder, seeing how happy you were
This is when he decided to get them, well the alive ones
His Cadou experiments had changed
Making them more human, to infiltrate the regular world and kidnap your family
He surprised you one day
Encouraging you to go for a moonlit walk with him
Yelling was coming from a nearby cave
"Moreau, Love. I dont-"
"Its not, my most Precious. I swear, you will love this surprise."
You gave him a frown and let him continue to lead you on
Inside the cave, you where met with 3 cages
Joe, Lucas and Zoe!
Your jaw dropped, and Moreau clapped happily as you rushed and unlocked the cages
Embracing your family, though Joe pulled away ready to blast Moreau away
After a long explanation, your family accepted the fish man as their own
Moreau was careful to hid your family from Mother Miranda
Sadly, he couldn't save your mother and father, but the rest of your family were safe in his domain
Karl Heisenberg
You both were having dinner when he asked you about your birth name
"Oh. It's Baker... I think. I was adopted by them."
"Adopted? Hope they treated you better than that bitch, Miranda." He scoffed
You laughed, assuring him that they did
Then you went into stories about your family
As you finished up a story about you and Lucas dodging the cops and taking quite the ass whoopin from Jack
You noticed Heisenberg narrowing his eyes at the names in the story
"Jack... Marguerite.... Zoe... Lucas... Joe..." he grumbled letting the names roll off of his tongue
Then he stood up, and looked at you
"THEM BAKERS!?"
You jumped at his outburst, then nodding slowly at him
"HOLY SHIT!! THEIR- Well the kids and uncle still live." He told you
You looked at him like he had gone absolutely mad
"What are you talking about, Karl?"
He sat back down, holding both your hands in his, looking you in the eyes
He was serious when he did this
Karl explained to you about the mold and what happened in Louisiana, a couple years ago
"Miranda had a file on them. I dont know how the hell she got it, but I managed to take a peek at it. I had no idea you were one of them."
You sat back in your chair, processing the information
"My... my siblings and uncle are ok?" You huffed with relief
Karl nodded, pulling you into a hug, comforting you
You fell into his embrace, "Thank you for telling me..."
Heisenberg let out a hum and rubbed your back
You opened your mouth to speak
"No." He cut you off, "im not going. And im not sending anyone. You KNOW what Miranda planning..."
You nodded, and buried your face in his chest
You were happy that they would be safe from her
But sad that you may never see them
Heisenberg had a plan for you to be saved as well
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dramioneasks · 3 years
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HP FESTS: DramioneFanfictionWriters (Part 4)
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Famous Shakespeare Lines, February 2021:
Short Life For A Daffodil by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione and Draco have a wild daughter who likes to pull up daffodils and frustrate her parents, but the duo wouldn't be without their children.
Friends Dont by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - "You don’t choose who you fall for!” “No, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be standing here now would I?” Hermione mourns the loss of a relationship.
The Malfoy Mistress by ThebeMoon - M, one-shot - Unable to bear the sight of Bellatrix carving into Hermione Granger at Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy whisks his hated former schoolmate to safety. He should have known better.
Rules of Engagement by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Lucius just had to be difficult about the idea of Draco and Hermione getting married. Will Draco and Hermione allow him to throw his weight around, or will they bring him to heel?
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Popular 90's TV Shows, March 2021:
The Death of Theo Nott by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “Hermione.” Her head whipped up to see the broken expression in Draco’s eyes. “He wouldn’t kill himself.”
The Night of the Rats by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - What happens when a prank war goes too far?
Perfect Harmony by Talonwillow (TalonWillow) - T, one-shot -Professor Slughorn's star Potions pupil Hermione was tired of being the ugly duckling, so she created a potion that would transform her into a beautiful swan. Everyone seemed to like the shiny new version of her... Well, except for herself and maybe one other. Would Draco Malfoy convince her that what everyone else was seeing was what he saw every day, and would Hermione finally be able to live in Perfect Harmony?
Dramione Go Star Trekking by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Riker has made a pass at Hermione and she doesn't quite know how to deal with it.
Bloody Colonials by Maira - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger has had a long week, and the last thing she wants to do is leave the comfort of her home. But when her best friend asks for her help in dealing with a possible cursed object, what can she do but help? Brownies, Potion-making robe etiquette, and a cursed Nigerian mask all add up to a typical night at Hogwarts. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.
The Latest Teenage Drama by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Teenagers. Gotta love em. Teenage dramas? Not so much. Draco and Hermione navigate the perils of unwanted teenage behaviour - 90s family sitcom style.
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Around the World, April 2021:
The Assignment by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco, Aurors, have been sent to Cape Town on a top secret assignment - to track down a former Death Eater.
Finding Them by KrysKrossZee - T, WIP - After not finding her parents in Austrailia, Hermione enlists Draco's help and the two make their way to Vancouver when they have a new lead.
DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Language of Flowers, May 2021:
Spilled Ink by Maira - M, one-shot - It's nearly Christmas, and things aren't great. Draco Malfoy is still on house arrest due to the Wizengamot being a bag of dicks. Hermione Granger is out of the country on a job, which means he won't see her for a few weeks. And to top it all off, Hermione has sent Draco a plant. A green, spiky plant, for no reason that he can fathom. Oh, and a spelled journal that he's now supposed to write in. Because nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan. Written for the DFW Deal or No Deal Challenge!
Forever by Art3misiA - M, one-shot - Though they may be gone, our memories of them remain forever.
The Little Things by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When Hermione buys Draco a cup of coffee and leaves it on his desk, it throws Draco through a loop and he wonders what he should get her in exchange.
The Climbing Vine by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - After receiving some startling news, Draco runs out of the house. He receives some advice from a surprising source.
Changing of the Seasons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - Hermione & Draco find a local park and two unlikely faces to greet them.
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Draco's Birthday Soundtrack, June 2021:
Straight to the Heart by AdAsttra - T, one-shot - Draco's ready to tell Hermione how he feels, but Cupid has other ideas.
Stick Around by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione doesn't know why Draco is the only one who makes her feel safe, but she is glad that she is able to get some reprieve from her brain.
Wild and Wired by Maira - M, one-shot - Need your lovin' here beside me, Need it close enough to guide me, I've been hopin' you would find me, You're the biggest part of me. - Hermione was expecting a fun night out with her boyfriend and her friends. She was not expecting ice cubes, sick ponies, and a serenade beautiful enough to melt her heart. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.
Let's Get Serious (Please, for the Love of Merlin!) by Art3misiA - G, one-shot - Draco wants to get serious, but Hermione isn't so sure. Will their opposing views make or break them?
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Magical Monsters, July 2021:
There's A Zouwu In My Basement by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - When a creature has broken into the Malfoy Manor dungeon, Draco has to call for help.
Miseria by crochetaway - T, one-shot - Hermione tames a Dementor.
Aegis by Maira - M, one-shot - Their world is in ruins, and their only protection against creatures wanting to kill them is about to fall. They make a plan to trek across the country to Hogwarts, where others have gathered to make a new home within the castle. There, they will be safe. One problem - before they go, there's a queen to kill. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal Challenge.
Fear & Desire by myladymay - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy wants to change his life. He returns to Hogwarts for Eighth Year and finds himself confronted with both his biggest fear and greatest desire, all wrapped up in a Gryffindor tie.
Innocent Monsters by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - Draco Malfoy thought he had reasonable expectations for his mandatory Eighth Year at Hogwarts, where he would be confined to the grounds as part of his probation. Isolation, hatred, and passing his NEWTs were really all he had in mind. What he wasn't anticipating: 1) Having a small firstie latch onto him like a bloody koala 2) Said firstie adopting an erkling as if they didn’t feed on children. To protect his little nuisance, he’ll have to seek help from uncomfortable places, including the Swottiest Witch of Her Age. Joy of all joys.
Transformed by Art3misiA - T, one-shot - Draco and Charlie have a dragon to catch, and time is running out. Meanwhile, Hermione is missing, adding to Draco's woes.
DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos, August 2021:
Three's a crowd, four's trouble by AnnaRitaLi - M, WIP - p>My sister is right. My life did change that evening. I just don't think Rosalind meant for me to steal her boyfriend, or I don't think I stole him, Draco, not precisely. You cannot steal something that doesn't want to be whisked away. That's my experience, at least, and I've stolen quite a few things over the years. So I can say this with confidence. You can't lose something you never had. But you’ll have to read it in the book, dear. While the Crown doesn’t wish for me to speak out in public, I have been silent for too long. You see, There were three of us in this marriage. And people, the press, have assumed many things over the years about Draco and me. So this book, as you’ll see, it’s my attempt to set the record straight. Yes, there were three of us in this marriage, but there were also much more going on than that. -- This is the story the Crown never wanted to get out. In other words, I bring you the x-rated version of the book ‘Diana - her true story - in her own words’.’ It’s the Dramione as Charles & Diana AU you didn't know you needed.
The Marquess and the Kitchen Girl by Art3misiA - E, 8 chapters - Draco Malfoy is the son of the most powerful Duke in Wiltshire. One day, he will be the ruler of a large duchy. Hermione Granger lives happily with her parents - that is, until tragedy strikes. Two children will become friends, and gradually discover a forbidden love that seems as if it might one day defy the odds. Alas, this is a tale of doomed lovers.
In Her Arms by KrysKrossZee - M, one-shot - Draco's worked his way up through Voldemort's ranks but it would seem that all of his work has been for nothing when Dolohov captures a new prisoner.
The Happiness I Seek by Maira - M, one-shot - To those without a soulmate, the world is devoid of colour. They say that if you are lucky enough to meet your soulmate, everything changes. The world is brighter, food is richer, and you find a love you never knew you needed. Draco Malfoy has never been lucky. Written for the DFW's Deal or No Deal challenge.
darling! by itscometothis - M, one-shot - When Draco and Hermione are invited to help demonstrate a path forward for Wizarding Britain and its reconciliation, neither really feel like they can refuse - Hermione for moral reasons and Draco for practical ones (read: Azkaban sounds bad). But they have very different ideas on how to play up this fake relationship. Written for DFW's Deal or No Deal: Legendary Duos - Kermit and Ms. Piggy. It's as ridiculous as you expect.
A Thousand Ships by floorcoaster - M, WIP - Draco Malfoy knows what he wants, and he's not afraid to reach out and take it.
Quiet My Demons by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - “Unhappy, darling?” He murmured, his cigar placed on its resting dish, dashed out - a little puff of smoke rising into the air between them before disappearing. “Yes, completely.”
I Love Draco by crochetaway - G, one-shot - A few slice of life scenes with Hermione, Draco, and Scorpius ala I Love Lucy style!
DFW's Deal or No Deal: The Final Word, September 2021:
Crime & Punishment by itscometothis - T, 12 chapters - TRIAL TRANSCRIPT OF DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY IS FORMALLY CHARGED WITH THE FOLLOWING: CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER AIDING AND ABETTING A MURDER USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: IMPERIUS (2 COUNTS) USE OF UNFORGIVABLE CURSES: CRUCIATUS (47 COUNTS) PARTICIPATING IN A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION -- I don’t regret hoping. I thought I might, at the beginning, do you remember? But I don’t. I regret nothing about you, my love. Eternally yours, Draco -- A story of hope, punishment, and the nature of justice told in trial transcripts, visits in an interrogation room, and letters.
Boats Against the Current by AlannaTCooper - T, one-shot - Draco Malfoy is trying to escape his past by running as far away as he can. But the past - and his nightmares - keep pulling him backwards.
By His Side by KrysKrossZee - T, one-shot - Hermione is lonely but there's at least one person who can break through her loneliness.
Trying To Live by IzzieStellar - T, one-shot - After her husband dies, Hermione can’t seem to remember how to live and her friends vow to help her.
In the Dead of Night by AdAsttra - G, one-shot - Hermione and Draco are some of the last people to leave Hogwarts under the veil of a cold, dark night.
This fest is ongoing.
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asturlavi · 3 years
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oh boy, do i have wonderful beast oda/odazai info for you all since this may just be my favorite chapter in all of beast. it clarified a lot about oda's state in this au, and how sad it truly is, especially with all that dazai has done to ensure that oda's safety is certain
before i start, this was initially intended to be a quirky little twitter thread that’s supposed to be kicked off with a badly drawn doodle of something meme. the thread was supposed to be about how wonderfully dumb odasaku can be and how annoyingly frustrating dazai is in the latest beast chapter... and then it slowly devolved into a crudely written essay about small discoveries i’ve made that most likely haven’t been pointed out before, so i recommend that anyone interested in either oda or odazai to check this out 
so i finally got around to reading the new beast chapter and seeing how odasaku constantly devalues himself and finds that he's lesser than the average person is… sad. its been said that him and ranpo are the stars of the ada, every mission trivial with their cooperation, and yet he doesn't see any of that. thinks he struck luck when it came to his entrance exam, which he specifies that it wasn't as a result of his own skills. his inferiority complex is embedded so deep that despite his achievements, he doesn't at all believe he has any worth as a human.
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i'm just a tired, ordinary man like you could find anywhere. a third-rate detective, as unexceptional as a fallen cigarette butt on the road.
and his entrance exam was just like dazai's: the azure messenger case, which we all know wasn't at all a walk in the park. one mistake, and it would spell disaster for the city that the ada was trying to protect. no--not just the city, it would also mean the end of the ada as we know it. despite it all, he resolved it much to his own surprise, and it was all thanks to an "unexpected" gift. and that gift? who would it be other than from dazai himself? 
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beast light novel ch. 3
(also, this is a shaky claim at best but I feel as if oda fully holds the capabilities to solve the case alone, but dazai knew that with odasaku's persistent feelings of self-doubt, along with his lack of some of the vivacity that dazai held to weasel his way through to information, the outcome of success wouldn’t be guaranteed. and so, dazai lent him something to ensure his success)
and yet, oda is blind to see truly how much intellect and skill he possesses. he doesn't realize how integral he was to the quest of the azure messenger, doesn't acknowledge that without him these orphans would have either slipped into a life of crime, gone to a downtrodden orphanage, or simply passed away, and he doesn't know that despite it all, he's one of the purest characters in the story, even with the darkness that will forever cling to him, a reminder of the violence that marred his past.
not to mention that oda, in one way or another, effectively analyzed the current situation that they're stuck in. he noted that if things currently go the way they're going, no matter what akutagawa achieves, him and his sister are doomed. so, oda brilliantly decided to go after the port mafia itself to prepare for this possibility, and it's nothing short of genius. and dazai plays along with this… because it is oda, after all. 
and everything dazai did, everything he sacrificed, it was all for oda.
now to the underlying tragedy of this chapter. take a look at this panel: 
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ever since then, i've been making a living by solving requests that come to the detective agency.
i provide for the orphans
i drink coffee.
i gamble a bit on days off.
at night, i write a novel in the kitchen. 
that's my life.
nothing unusual, right? you'd think that odasaku was satisfied with life, since he has everything he had ever wished for. but in all actuality, he still lacks one important thing.
and that's friendship.
his words sounded so… empty. achieving ones dreams is but one aspect of life that brings one gratification, but doesn't necessarily mean it would guarantee lasting happiness. (think of famous actors or celebrities that spiral into depression even after they've achieved their dreams).
in that panel, he says he cares for the orphans, gambles, and writes alone in his spare time, but not a word of spending time with friends… something he had in the root universe, something that was lost to him in this one.
and he says this all with his face blacked out, as if he's somewhat implicitly dissatisfied (while the kid's faces are present, not at all concealed).
with dazai, he found peace in a place where peace is rare to find. They both completely put their guard down with each other around, and dazai can relax his overly speculative mind with oda. and they understood each other, a level of understanding rare to come by. dazai with his dark jokes easily flies past oda's ears because that's what they are, harmless jokes. and oda with his blunt honesty, which dazai cherishes and never prods him for it.
dazai also saw things in oda that oda was blind to. dazai saw a world of beauty in oda, the ray of light beneath a cloudy sky. he saw both intelligence and wisdom, kindness and generosity. and most of all, he trusted oda, despite dazai’s natural inclination to distrust.
and what oda saw in dazai was vulnerability. despite the front that dazai puts, he can be kind, even empathetic, when the situation calls for it. dazai once gave akutagawa a decision to turn his back against dazai’s offer to join the port mafia, when logic points to the fact that he didn't have to, but wanted to.
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dazai also consistently gives atsushi words of advice and shows understanding when dazai was under no obligation to, such as atsushi facing the loss of his previous caretaker. dazai gave atsushi genuine advice, not laced with any malice or ill intent. dazai had even left atsushi to grieve alone, fully understanding that atsushi needed to pour his emotions out in private. there’s more than enough instances of dazai showing this side of himself in both the light novels and manga, but it seems to sometimes be brushed aside. even though the main cast of characters always dismissed this side of dazai, oda has always known that this side of dazai was his truest self.
oda and dazai also talked endlessly about trivial things, calling each other daily for two hours for no reason other than that they each enjoy one another's company. it's pure, wholesome love. they had a mutual trust and understanding between one another, which ango, another friend of theirs, severely lacked in his friendship with them.
oda's dream was to write, gone unfulfilled in the root universe, but he died happily knowing that the one he cares for is living in the path of light. dazai's was to find a reason to live, which he found in oda, and continues to use this as motivation long after oda passed.
in beast, dazai's dream was cut short, ultimately leading to his demise at the end. after all, his one reason to live is now robbed from him. however, oda's dreams have become a reality, but can one really say he achieved happiness? he has the orphans, his children, but they will never understand him like dazai had. he has peace, but is it the form of peace he wanted? spending time alone, on things like gambling, while endlessly mulling how he has no one to spend this time with?
and writing, his one true wish that dazai made absolutely sure to make a reality. but was it worth it, at the cost of a friend who brought happiness and reprieve when everyone else failed to?
i thought of this tale as a matter of equivalent exchange, you lose one life in exchange for another. the scales do remain somewhat balanced, but not over a matter of lives. it's over a matter of personal sacrifices, ones only known to us readers.
and i say "somewhat" because in the root universe, dazai remembered oda when he was alive, so well that dazai can recall memories to near perfection. but oda had completely forgotten dazai in beast, chasing after absent memories and deluding himself into thinking his life is perfect, while numbing himself from the aching hole of loneliness that consumes him inside.
also, oda is surely happy spending time with the children, but what about his lonesome hours? who is he going to spend that time with, in a world without dazai, the only person who understood him and his oddities?
ah, and remember this moment in the root universe? 
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now, take a look at this again. no, look closer 
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odasaku wasn’t merely gambling for the sake of it, he was gambling on a horse race. and before dazai was arrested in the root universe, he was seen doing just that. 
now, why would odasaku do this? he surely doesn’t seem the type to gamble away his money on something as silly as horse races, because what does someone gain while they pour their money into something so senseless? 
and the only reason i could arrive to is that dazai must have dragged him along to one. dazai is a port mafia executive, with more money than he knows what to do with and a boatload of depression. money probably disinterests him as much as life does, and he used gambling to kill two birds with one stone: ridding of money he doesn’t need, and distracting him from his boredom (and depression). 
and it doesn’t end there. remember when dazai in dead apple had visited bar lupin to pay his regards to odasaku, while reliving a pleasant memory dazai had with him? and he did this because he was preparing for a quest that may result in with the loss of his life, psyching himself up for what’s to come. this is probably bordering on speculation, but i believe that that’s precisely what he did once again in the horse races. dazai paid a visit to a place that oda and him had frequented, to prepare for another dangerous quest. 
also, note that immediately after exiting bar lupin in dead apple, dazai was confronted by ango, which kicked off the start of dazai’s plans. a similar thing happens in the manga, dazai spending time in a place that he and oda had gone to, this time the horse races, and his plan whirls into motion as jono arrests him. i think these similarities are deliberate, in order to establish their significance to dazai and oda. 
this long winded explanation’s purpose was only for me to go back to this panel once again, and say that everything oda spoke about doing, from spending time with his kids, to brewing coffee, to betting on horse races, and to writing in the kitchen, were all moments he had with dazai. 
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and see that he has an extra chair that sits unused in the kitchen? at first, i thought it was there for the sake of being there. then, it slowly dawned on me that odasaku and dazai had noted in the dark era light novel that they made a habit of visiting each other, so it wouldn’t be illogical to conclude that it was a chair meant for dazai. a place where he can spend some private moments together with oda underneath the dimly lit kitchen, drinking in the scent of odasaku’s coffee and talking about things that distracts them from their troubles while odasaku whittles away at his manuscript. 
and one last thing before i end this out of sheer laziness, take a look at this photograph of oda from the final moments of the beast light novel.
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as oda stated in the manga and light novel, he worked on his manuscript alone in the kitchen... but in the photograph, he wasn’t alone. he’s posing for a picture. relaxed, poised, as if entertaining the one taking the photo. and besides, wasn’t it dazai who insisted on taking photographs in bar lupin with ango and oda in dark era? he must have done the same in that very moment in the beast universe, but this time in anticipation of oda forgetting him. 
in the end, it seems oda and dazai left each other in similar ways, foolishly believing they've sacrificed their lives for each other to better the other's life, but all they did was create worlds where the feeling of happiness will be lost to both respective parties, while also resigning each other to a life of loneliness.
they've forgotten about their one happiness that stems from just being around one another, listening to the soothing tune of jazz playing softly as they talk into the night, the world lost to them as they're absorbed in one another's presence.
it seems like their story is a tragedy of what happens when you love someone too much, to the point that you delude yourself into thinking you're but a tool for their happiness, and with you gone, nothing will change.
but things did change, didn't they?
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cheelduh · 3 years
Text
How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)
Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!
Pairing: Childe x fem!reader
Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.
Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not. 
Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH
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For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.
Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.
Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.
Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.
You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.
Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"
A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"
"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."
Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.
The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"
Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.
You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.
Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.
The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.
Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.
"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."
Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.
"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.
"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"
Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.
You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.
Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"
"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."
She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.
"What do you want?"
You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."
Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"
How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.
"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."
Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.
Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"
You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.
Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."
He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.
Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."
"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."
She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.
"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."
You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.
"Oh, I will be."
Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.
He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.
Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.
"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.
"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.
"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"
Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."
"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.
"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.
"Ok—ok I'm sorry."
There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.
"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.
Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.
Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.
However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.
"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.
The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.
"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.
"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.
The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.
"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."
"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.
"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."
"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."
"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.
"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."
"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.
The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."
Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."
"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."
"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.
"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.
Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."
"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."
"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."
"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"
As favorable as the proposal is, Childe  contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.
His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.
"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.
Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.
Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.
Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.
"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"
He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.
Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.
It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.
From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.
"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.
"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.
"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"
The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.
Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.
"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."
"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.
"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."
The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.
"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.
Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.
Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"
"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."
He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.
As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.
"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."
Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.
You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.
Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?
"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.
Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"
"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.
He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.
Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.
You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."
"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"
"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."
"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"
It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.
"Yeah...something like that."
The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.
"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."
"And the son of a bitch did it?"
"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"
You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."
"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"
Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.
Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.
Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.
"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.
"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.
You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.
"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."
"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."
Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.
Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.
"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.
With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.
"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.
A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"
"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.
Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.
There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.
If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.
You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.
Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"
"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.
"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.
Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.
"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."
"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.
Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.
Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.
Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.
"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."
"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."
A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."
"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.
Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.
His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"
You lock and aim for his right kidney.
Worth a try, Childe thinks.
"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.
Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.
It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.
"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.
Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.
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batsandbugs · 3 years
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Daminette December
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A/N: Okay so this one spiraled out of control a little bit, but I’m so happy with how it turned out! Marinette and Damian back to being chaotic little shits, Marinette being understanding, and Damian going a little too far but finding the one person who doesn’t mind. Let me know what y’all think. Thanks @daminette-december2019-2020​
Daminette December Day 15 – Cats
If you had told Marinette back in May that by Christmas she would be living in the most crime-infested city in America going to college, working at a pet store that was most likely a front for the Russian mob, and trying to unravel a 300-year-old curse on said crime-infested-city…
… she would have believed you.
After all, it wasn’t the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her.
But back to the pet store.
There she was a week before Christmas living in a shoebox apartment, drowning in fabric and notions, with a magical box filled with tiny gods who loved to squabble and give conflicting vague advice. They were supposed to work on how to break the giant magical curse laid out across the city, but Marinette had gotten hired at the local pet store down the street because if she spent one more minute sequestered inside trying to decipher the handwriting of centuries-old monks, without a break, she would scream.
Plus, the animals were ridiculously cute and the current owner obviously had no clue how to take care of them – which is how she concluded the store was a money-laundering front. The owner, a Mr. Petriov, had known her for all of three days before leaving her to manage the shop by herself. That hadn’t changed much in the month she had worked here, but at least the animals were in better shape now and she had a slightly larger budget for the endless amount of coffee she drank.
Marinette swept the back of the room, trying to make sure it was as clean as she could get it. Despite her best efforts at trying to cheer the place up, the plastic Christmas decorations and lively music did little to distract from the poor living conditions of the animals. Marinette wished there was some way to help, but she was rather limited in her options in a foreign city and Plagg’s suggestions of stealing all the animals and burning the place down was not a viable one.
No matter how much Marinette wanted to sometimes.
The store bell rang.
“I’ll be with you in just a moment,” she called. She finished sweeping the last of the room, before putting the broom away, and coming out to the main part of the store. “Hi there, I’m Marinette, how can I-”
“Did you know that Gotham Department of Health and Safety Regulations, Section 45: Animals and Livestock, subsection C.1: Living conditions, states that cages for cats must be 30 inches in width, 28 inches in length, 30 inches in height, and 30 inches on the diagonal? And that yours do not match those specifications?” There in the center of the store stood a man about her age. He was dressed head to toe in black, with a long, expensive, looking coat billowed out behind him. His voice was posh and smooth, and his tone could cut glass. He looked around the store in thinly veiled disgust.
Marinette vaguely recognized him. He’d been in the store about two weeks ago. He hadn’t said anything when she asked if he needed help. He just went around to all the cages watching the animals through the bars. She had gone about her normal routine, and then he left a little while later. The only reason she remembered him at all was he was wearing the same designer coat with wool Marinette’s hands itched to get a hold of.  
“I- I did not. Although, this is not my store.” The man glared at her, and had Marinette not been used to a lifetime of truly piercing glares from Chloe, she might have crumbled underneath it. “I’ve only been working here for a month and let me tell you it’s better than it was before.”
“These conditions are intolerable.”
Marinette usually kept a cool façade with the few customers who came in here, but this man was obviously looking for a fight; not that she didn’t completely agree with him.
“I’m well aware, but I’m doing the best with what I have here, especially since my boss doesn’t care.” One of the cats mewled loudly, and Marinette sighed. She knew exactly who that was. Walking over to one of the cages she opened it up. A tiny grey cat with tipped black ears and paws jumped into her arms. Marinette had named him Macaroon since Mr. Petriov hadn’t bothered to give any of them names.
“Sorry,” she said. “Macaroon likes attention, and he’s good with people so I bring him out when others come in to pet them.” The man came over and let the cat sniff his hand before scratching under the his chin.
“He looks well taken care of,” he complimented, although he still scowled. Marinette couldn’t help but think he would be much more handsome if he smiled.  
“As I said, I try my best. I take them all out of their cages so they can stretch their legs, and not just the dogs either. But that’s whenever I’m not cleaning, or prepping food, or taking care of the paperwork.” Or at home trying to figure out how to banish a city-wide curse, Marinette thought to herself.
The man hummed. “Look, you seem… nice.” He said the word in such a way that implied he didn’t believe the concept existed. “So, I’ll let you know ahead of time, but this store is going to get raided tomorrow. It’s a-”
“Front for the Russian Mob?” Marinette finished. The man seemed taken aback and immediately glared at her again. “Yeah, I figured that out within a few days of working here. I just had no clue as to who to go to about it. Who’s going to help a tiny French girl about a corrupt business in a city known for corruption?” She raised an eyebrow at the man who seemed taken aback by her abruptness.
“Fair point. So why are you working here then? If you know it’s corrupt.”
Marinette sighed; it was true she had plenty else to be doing, school was over for the semester sure, but there was always magic to learn, or sites to go check out to see if they were connected to the curse, or she could have gone home for the break and visited her parents, but…
If she did any of that, no one would be here to look out for the animals. And just because she couldn’t actively be a hero, didn’t mean she was going to turn up her back on those who needed her, even if they were of the four-legged variety.
She looked back at the handsome man; how could she explain any of that to him.
… not that she should.
Because that would be bad.
She didn’t know him at all.
Even if he was ridiculously good looking.
Fuck. 
She did not have the time to get caught up in anything else, especially not a crush.
So instead, she went with a mostly true answer. “Just because the people running the store are bad, doesn’t mean the animals are. I would come by here on my way from school and would want to let the poor things out of their cages. So, when I finally had enough time, I applied for a job.” The look on the man’s face was a cross between surprise and understanding. “And you’d want to do something else too if the last three months all you did was stare at miles of hand-sewn hems and contemplate if death would be kinder.”
Marinette bet the man would deny it if pointed out, but the side of his mouth turned up at her comment.
“Understandable.”
“My question is,” she asked, stroking Macaroon who was happily purring away in her arms. “Why would you tell the person working at the Russian mob front that you’re going to have the store raided the next day? Doesn’t that seem a little counter-productive?” Not that Marinette was in any way complaining, she had been waiting for an opportunity like this for weeks.
“It depends on whether you tell your boss or not.”
“Hell no.”
Finally, the man’s face morphed from a resting scowl into a self-satisfied smirk.
Oh no, he’s even hotter like that, Marinette thought.  
“Then I think telling was exactly the right idea. You’ll need to give a statement to the department doing the raid, but you won’t be in trouble for anything that went down here.”
Marinette nodded, and then remembered something. “Would pictures help?”
“Pictures?”
“I’ve been taking pictures of all the documents that come through the front desk. The legitimate ones and the less legitimate ones. It’s only about a month’s worth of stuff, but I have it on a flash drive.”
The man’s smirk grew a bit more. “Yes, I do believe that would be useful.”
Marinette smiled, finally glad this place would get shut down, but then she looked at Macaroon so snuggly in her arms, and all the other lovely creatures throughout the store came to mind. “And the animals, will they be okay?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t allow anything to happen to them. They’ll all be going to reputable shelters or good homes through the Wayne Foundation.”
Marinette readjusted Macaroon in her arms. “That’s good. So, should I bring the flash drive when I give my statement or-”
“I can take it,” he said quickly. “I mean,” he cleared his throat. “You can give it to me, and I can hand it off to the… proper authorities.” The glint in his eye spelled trouble. Marinette thought it was completely unfair how attractive she found it.  
“It’s in my apartment. My shift is only another hour, but….” She thought about her mess of an apartment covered in yards of fabric, questionable ancient artifacts, and the tiny floating talking gods. “It’s a bit of a mess, how about we meet elsewhere?”
“Yes,” the man responded quickly. He looked down at Macaroon and stroked the cat’s back, a light blush playing out over his cheeks. “Of course, that would be acceptable.”
“Coffee then?” asked Marinette, glad to have a little longer to chat with him.
“Sounds good. Inman Perk at 7th and Forge Street?”
“I love that place. I’m Marinette by the way, I think I said that.”
The man smirked again, “You did, but it’s nice to hear it. I’m Damian, Damian Wayne.”
“I’d shake your hand Damian, but my arms are a little full.” She readjusted Macaroon, moving over to his cage placing the content cat back inside. Marinette smiled, happy to know this would be the last night the animals would have to sleep in these too-small cages. She turned back to Damian and offered her hand.
“I’m looking forward to working with you, Mr. Wayne,” she said with a grin.
He clasped his hand with hers, and she delighted at the chill it sent up her spine. “Not nearly as much as I am with you, Ms. Dupain-Cheng.”
Marinette paused for a moment, “I don’t think I ever gave you my last name?”
Damian paused, his face of a person caught with their hand in a cookie jar. “I may, perhaps, have done a slight background check on you before I decided to confront you today.” He retreated his hands and clasped them behind his back. “Uh, I- I apologize if that comes off a little…” he trailed off.
“Invasive, creepy, overbearing?”
Damian’s face fell. “Yes.”
Marinette tried hard to hold in her smirk. “Or protective, concerned, over-invested? I’ve had friends like that before.” Thinking particularly of Kagami, or her own actions towards Adrian during those early years. “It’s a little much, but not so bad especially when confronting someone who may be part of the Russian mob.”
Damian’s face went from contrite to an all-out grinning smirk. “You? Part of the mob? A little hard to believe.”
“Oh, you never know”’ she teased back. “I think I could pull it off, no one ever expects the tiny French girl.”
A bark from the back of the store interrupted their flirting, soon all of the dogs were barking, and Marinette realized the time.
“I’ve got to get them all taken out and fed. I’ll be finished in about an hour, I’ll grab the stuff from my apartment and meet you at… 8:30?”
Damian nodded. “Of course, see you there.” And with that he turned on his heel and walked out of the store, his long coat billowing like a cape behind him. Marinette watched him disappear from view and waited a second before she punched the air. She couldn’t wait. She kneeled back down at the cage and scratched Macaroon’s chin.
“Thanks for being such a good luck charm.” The cat purred back happily. Marinette headed off to finish what she needed to get done, wondering what the heck she was going to wear.
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raindancer2004 · 3 years
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Blended Family
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Word Count: 4,543 Demetri x OC - Part Three Warnings: Language, Fluff, Angst, Description of torture / murder
When Demetri and Nico arrived back at the castle the following afternoon he dropped off Nico to Heidi’s room “Can you watch him for a bit please, I need to have a private conversation with Felix?” “Of course D. It will give us a chance to catch up and maybe I can find out more about his new friend” Heidi smiled at him and Nico looked up at Heidi excitement clear in his blue eyes “Sophie and Ellie are great but Ellie is so tiny…” Demetri smiled and closed the door knowing Heidi was going to hear all about Sophie and Ellie. 
He found Felix in his room along with the twins “Afternoon Demetri, enjoy your ‘sleepover’?” Jane asked, amusement clear in her voice, he chuckled “Afternoon Jane and yes I enjoyed spending time with my mate” He replied “So that talk went well then?” Alec asked “Yes it did and she is absolutely fine with everything…including our diet” He replied “Did you tell her about Nico’s mother?” “Yes Fe, I did and she was ok with that too. The conversation that followed was a little more difficult to deal with…for me” Demetri replied taking a seat beside Felix on the sofa “Ah…the complication of Ellie’s father” Jane said softly “DON’T CALL HIM THAT!” Demetri growled at her, his eyes darkening and Jane visibly flinched “D…calm down” Felix said placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder, Demetri took a breath “I’m sorry Jane but-but that man doesn’t deserve the title of father…” His fists curled into balls “Demetri” Alec warned this time “Sperm doner” Jane said low looking at Demetri “We’ll refer to him as the sperm donor…better?” She asked and he nodded seeming to calm a little “Talk to us D…maybe we can help” Felix sounded cautious “I won’t tell you everything as it’s…private and not fair to Sophie but…” He took another deep breath trying to stay calm as just thinking about what happened to his mate angered him “We have a human to hunt down and kill…she deserves to feel safe again…I owe her that much seeing as I wasn’t there when….” Demetri trailed off and realisation flashed across Jane’s face although Felix and Alec took a little longer to catch on “Tell us when and where and we’ll help you Demetri” She said firmly “I was actually just going to ask Felix…” “We’re family and we protect what’s ours” She growled low cutting him off “Agreed” Alec and Felix said together “Thank you. That means a lot” Demetri replied. 
Demetri met with the Kings in the throne alone, the guards on duty having been dismissed by Caius “Demetri, how did things go with Sophie?” Aro asked holding out his hand “May-may I tell you rather than show you?” Aro looked a little shocked as Demetri had never refused before “I mean no disrespect master, it’s just…Sophie disclosed something…personal…pertaining to Ellie and I want to respect that….it should be up to her to share that information with you” Aro nodded “Say no more my dear boy, I think we can…fill in the gaps” “Thank you. Although I must confess, I will be dealing with the problem personally as it hasn’t been dealt with by the human authorities” He told them “As long as you cover your tracks and take Felix and the twins with you, you can deal with the matter however you wish. After all our mate’s safety is what’s important” Caius replied “Thank you, I appreciate your support master” He replied looking at Caius. “I’m glad she has accepted you and Nico and vice versa. I hope you all have a long and happy life together” Marcus smiled “Yes, quite. We are looking forward to meeting them both” Aro added with a smile. 
Demetri and Nico had been spending time with Sophie and Ellie the last month or so and Nico started to notice differences between himself and Ellie that left him a little confused. “Daddy how come Ellie isn’t growing up as fast as I am?” Nico asked Demetri “Ellie is human the same as Sophie” “Why does that matter daddy?” “Well, you are half human / half vampire and as a result you will be fully grown in seven years, whereas Ellie won’t be fully grown until she is sixteen” Demetri replied “Oh ok, but I thought you said I was younger than Ellie” Nico replied looking a little confused “Although you are younger than Ellie in age, you will look older than her physically because of your vampire side, so essentially you will be like a big brother to her as she grows up” Demetri replied “Will Sophie and Ellie become like you dad, a full vampire?” He asked “Yes, I will change Sophie once Ellie is a little older, and once Ellie is old enough to be changed, I will change her too” Demetri replied “So you and I have to protect Sophie and Ellie until they become like you?” “Exactly Nico. Although I will protect all three of you forever” “So, Sophie and Ellie will be with us forever?” Nico asked looking hopeful “Yes Nico, they will be with us forever, I promise” Demetri smiled and wrapped his arms around his son holding him close “Good, I will help you protect them forever too” Nico replied snuggling into his dad.
Demetri told Nico that he had to go away for work and that he was going to ask Heidi to look after him but Nico had a different idea “Can I stay with Sophie and Ellie whilst you’re away Daddy, please?” “I don’t know if that’s a good idea buddy” Demetri replied “Why not?” “What if something happens, Sophie can’t protect you like Auntie Heidi can” He replied “Nothing will happen. It’ll be a sleepover just…without you” Nico replied “Exactly Nico, I won’t be there to keep you all safe” “Please Daddy, I promise to be good for Sophie” “I know you will, but that isn’t what I’m worried about” Demetri said “You don’t think Sophie will want me there without you” Nico replied sounding sad, eyes becoming a little glassy “No, no that isn’t it either buddy. I’m just worried that Sophie will be a little overwhelmed looking after you and Ellie alone” “Honestly?” Demetri lifted Nico onto his lap “Honestly” He cupped his Nico’s face and wiped away the lone tear that slipped down his cheek “I’ll ask Sophie and see what she says” “Thank you Daddy.” Nico hugged him and Demetri smiled. 
Demetri rung Sophie later that evening after Nico was asleep and asked if she would look after Nico for the weekend whilst he was away on a mission “You-you trust me to look after Nico alone…without you?” Sophie couldn’t help sounding surprised “Yes, I trust you with Nico. You’re my mate…but you don’t have to agree if you think it’ll be too much” He replied “I’d love to have him for the weekend and…it gives you a reason to come and see me when you get back” She answered smiling “I don’t need a reason to come to see you” He replied “I know, I’m just teasing Dem. When are you going to drop him off?” “Friday about 11.00am if that’s ok” “Perfect. It gives me time to go shopping tomorrow for food” She replied. Demetri was happy that Sophie wanted to look after Nico, although he was a little worried about him being away from the castle without him. 
“He’ll be fine D. Sophie’s a mum and will look after him” Felix said from the doorway “I know. It’s just he hasn’t stayed away from the castle without me” Felix nodded and entered the room taking a seat on the sofa, Demetri sat beside him “When we get back, invite her to the castle to meet the Kings and me of course, then ask her to move in. You’ll feel much better when she and Ellie are living here with you” Felix said “What if she thinks it’s too soon to move in here?” Demetri asked, worry evident in his eyes “Discuss her concerns and reassure her that she is the only one for you and that you are offering her forever. Be patient and you will get the result you want” He replied “When did you get so wise?” Demetri chuckled “Common sense D. You love her and want her and Ellie here with you and Nico, I can see that, especially after what you told me the other night. Isn’t this why you want to take care of that human, so that they’re safe” Felix replied “Yes Fe, it is. I guess I’m just worried that I may not get my forever with her…once she knows I’ve dealt with him” “You plan on telling her then?” “Yes. I will not lie to her and I want her to know she’s safe. I want her to know that I will protect her and the children always” Demetri said looking over at Nico asleep in his bed “You know what you have to do when you get back…take my advice and bring her here to meet us and take things from there” Felix smiled and Demetri nodded. 
Nico was excited that he got to stay with Sophie and Ellie whilst Demetri was away “Thank you for letting me stay Sophie” Nico said with a smile “You’re very welcome sweetie” She replied and watched as he went straight to Ellie’s room “Thank you for this Sophie. Nico asked to come and stay with you instead of staying at the castle with Heidi” “It’s not a problem Dem, really. I’m looking forward to having some company whilst Ellie naps” She laughed and he smiled at her “I wish I was keeping you company” He replied low and pulled her against his chest capturing her lips with his “Feel free to come straight here instead of the castle once you return” He felt her slip something into his pocket and he looked at her confused “Spare key. So you don’t have to worry about waking me or the children if you’re back late” She replied “You are amazing cara mia” He said and kissed her again “See you in a few days Dem” Nico came running back to the hallway “See you later Daddy” “See you all soon” He replied and kissed his son and mate goodbye “Give Ellie a kiss for me” “We will” Nico replied and watched as Demetri left, making his way back to the castle. 
Demetri, Felix and the twins left the castle and took the private jet to Seattle to deal with the sperm donor, as Jane calls him. Jane made Demetri promise that she could ‘play’ with the lowlife before Demetri and Felix dealt with him permanently. Jane used her gift on him, starting at the lowest level and working her way up to the highest level, Alec took away his senses one at time just for fun during the ‘downtime’ Jane gave him. Demetri couldn’t help the wide smile on his face as he watched the twins torture the man “I think they’re enjoying this a little too much” Felix said low “Good. Let the bastard suffer. I plan to kill him slowly, until he’s begging for a quick death” Demetri replied and Felix noticed his best friend’s eyes were black, despite their recent hunting trip ‘I don’t envy that human once Demetri gets his hands on him’ Felix thought to himself. 
Demetri and Felix torture him a little too as they kill him slowly “Hold his arms down Fe” Demetri growls and Felix nods and moments later Demetri’s foot comes down on the man’s hand, shattering every bone within it “Arrghh” He screams out before Demetri’s foot crushes his other hand, another scream leaving the human’s lips. Felix then bends the human’s elbows backwards, breaking them in the process; Demetri smiles as the human screams again, laughter leaving the twins as they watch the human being broken bone by bone. Alec can’t help himself when he sees the human’s feet moving about as he writhes in agony and steps down hard on them one at a time breaking both feet, more screams filling the air and Alec shrugs when Demetri meets his gaze “He was moving about too much” Demetri nods in agreement before leaning down and punching his ribs, a cracking sound can be heard before he screams again “Wh-who are y-you?” The lowlife stuttered out pian lacing his voice “That doesn’t matter” Demetri replied “Wh-what did I d-do to de-deserve th-this?” “You hurt someone that I love and got away with it…until now” Demetri responded “I-I ha-have no idea wh-what you’re talk-talking about” “DO NOT LIE TO ME” Demetri growled and nodded at Felix who began choking the human, he started coughing and struggling to breathe “I-I d-don’t…” Demetri growled low before moving Felix’s hand from the human’s neck, wrapping his own hands around it instead and twisted; the crack that sounded out in the quiet room assured them the human was dead. “Let’s clean up and head home” Jane said looking at Demetri and Felix, who nodded “Hey D, let me do that, take a walk…cool off” Felix said placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder “I’ll help you” Alec added. Demetri stepped away from the dead body and watched as Felix ripped the human’s limbs away from his torso, Alec throwing a match onto the body parts, ensuring to cover their tracks.
Meanwhile, back in Volterra, Sophie and Nico spent Friday watching movies and cuddling and playing with Ellie when she wasn’t napping. Saturday afternoon Sophie baked cupcakes with Nico and showed him how to decorate them, something he thoroughly enjoyed “Mmm, that’s yummy”” Nico said as he licked the frosting off his fingers, Sophie chuckled “Glad you’re having fun” “I am, I don’t get to do this at the castle” Nico replied and Sophie smiled “I promise to do ‘human’ things with you when you’re with me” “Thank you Sophie, I’d like that” He replied smiling. Sophie and Nico made pizzas for dinner, something else Nico enjoyed doing for the first time, before getting comfortable on the sofa to watch more movies together. 
Demetri got back late to Sophie’s and let himself in, locking the door behind him. He walked into the front room and saw Sophie and Nico cuddled up together on the sofa under a large blanket, he smiled to himself before carefully lifting Nico up into his arms and putting him to bed on the sofa bed in Ellie’s room “Goodnight son” He kissed his hair and tucked him in. He walked over to Ellie’s crib and leant down over it, inhaling her scent “Goodnight princess” He placed a kiss to her forehead and returned to the front room; he lifted Sophie up and carried her to her room and gently laid her down on the bed beneath the duvet. He changed into a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt that he had packed in Nico’s bag and climbed in beside her, taking her into his arms “Goodnight mi amore” He kissed her cheek “Goodnight Dem” She rolled over and snuggled into him, his grip tightened a little holding her closer to him. 
The following morning Ellie woke up early and Sophie rolled over ready to get out of bed “Let me” Demetri said and moved quickly to Ellie’s room, Nico was standing beside her crib, he had slid his arm between the bars and was stroking her head “Sshh, sshh, you’re ok” He said low, trying to soothe her “Come here princess” Demetri said as he lifted her out of her crib “Daddy” Nico wrapped his arms around Demetri’s legs “Missed you” “Missed you too buddy. Come on” Nico followed Demetri back to Sophie’s room and Demetri climbed back in beside Sophie as Nico stood in the doorway “Come on sweetie” Sophie said smiling as she shifted towards the middle of the bed making room for him. Nico climbed in and snuggled into her as Ellie snuggled into Demetri’s chest “Sunday mornings are a great excuse for a lie in and cuddles” Sophie said smiling “I agree” Demetri replied “Me too” Nico added and Ellie cooed before falling back to sleep, along with Sophie and Nico; Demetri closed his eyes enjoying the sound of his family’s steady breathing and their heartbeats. 
That Wednesday Sophie met Demetri by the fountain in front of the castle “Hi mi amore” He wrapped his arms around her “Hello Demetri” She replied hugging him back; he leant down and kissed her. Ellie recognised his voice and started cooing and making babbling noises, Demetri chuckled “Don’t worry princess, I haven’t forgotten about you” He leant over the pram smiling at her and she smiled back, happy she had his attention. “What if they don’t like me?” Sophie asked as they neared the doors to the castle “They’ll love you, I promise” “But…” “Nico has told everyone about you and Ellie” He cut her off wrapping an arm around her waist “They can’t wait to meet you both” He kissed the top of her head and he felt Sophie relax a little in his hold “O-Ok” She replied. They entered the castle and saw Nico waiting for them; the four of them made their way to the south facing garden where Demetri had blankets laid out on the grass and a picnic basket filled with food for Sophie and Nico, and a flask of blood for himself. 
The three Kings were in Caius’ study that overlooked the south facing garden and observed Demetri, Nico, Sophie and Ellie as they sat in the castle garden spending time together. Marcus didn’t turn to look at his brothers as he confirmed Sophie was indeed Demetri’s mate “Demetri and Sophie are known as ‘True Mates’ and their bond is strong despite the complications of children being involved. Demetri feels very protective of both Sophie and Ellie.” Aro found it amusing that Demetri hadn’t figured it out when they met on the plane “How did he not know Sophie was his mate when they first met?” “Fate works in mysterious ways brother” Marcus mused “All that matters now is that they have found each other and they need to find a way to blend their families together. In fact, a ‘father / daughter’ bond is forming between him and Ellie as he already sees her as his daughter” He added. “Are there any bonds between Sophie and Nico or between the children themselves?” Caius asked, curious “Sophie and Nico have a ‘mother / son’ bond that is very strong; in fact, that bond probably took hold before her bond with Demetri...” “Really? How come?” Caius cut him Marcus off “Yes brother, and I put that down to the fact that Sophie is a mum and she naturally stepped into that role for Nico early on. There is also a ‘sibling’ bond between Nico and Ellie and although Nico is younger that Ellie; physically he appears older than her due to him being a hybrid” Marcus added “Let’s hope things work out for all involved” Aro said “They will brother I’m sure. I will say this though, some leniency will be needed with regards to Sophie staying human until Ellie is a few years older and even then she will need to spend her newborn phase here with us; with her daughter” Marcus replied “That is something that can be accommodated I’m sure…as long as they move into the castle; move into Demetri’s quarters, which can be extended to include the vacant room opposite his; I mean the room can be split to accommodate both children” Caius added “I’m surprised you agreed so easily brother” Marcus commented “I won’t have mates separated, it’s cruel and heart-breaking for all involved, not to mention without his mate our dear Demetri will become like you brother and I know you wouldn’t want that for him. None of us would” Caius replied “I think you’ve mellowed a little brother” Aro mused “I will never allow mates to be separated especially when they are mates of our guards. Anyways, my wife is rather fond of Demetri and Nico and she would make my life hell if I did anything to upset or hurt them” Caius replied honestly “I think my wife would do the same brother” Aro said in agreement. 
Demetri had arranged for Sophie and Ellie to meet the Kings and Queens that afternoon, Marcus suggested they meet outside in the garden as it might Sophie less nervous. Athenodora and Sulpicia were excited to meet Sophie and Ellie “Just don’t over crowd her mi amore, she’ll no doubt be nervous about meeting us” Caius said softly as they neared the doors to the garden. 
“Good afternoon Demetri, Nico” Marcus greeted them with a smile “Master, Marcus” They replied together. Demetri stood up and helped Sophie to her feet too “This is my mate Sophie, Sophie this is Marcus, Aro and his wife Sulpicia, Caius and his wife Athenodora” Demetri introduced “Hello, it’s nice to meet you all” Sophie said smiling “And you my dear, Demetri and Nico have told us lots about you” Aro smiled, resisting the urge to take Sophie’s hand in his. “This is Ellie” Nico said looking at up everyone, Ellie sitting on his lap babbling away “She’s beautiful, just like her mother” Athenodora smiled, Sophie blushed and watched as the Queens sat beside Nico “May I?” Sulpicia asked looking at Sophie, who nodded, before looking at Demetri who smiled back at her “You may not get her back for a while” “That’s ok, Nico seems to like holding her a lot too” Sophie chuckled “She’s just so huggable” Nico replied smiling at Ellie. “I really like Sophie and Ellie” Athenodora said low to Demetri “Thank you mi’ lady” He replied “When are they moving in?” “As soon as possible, if I get my way. We need to have that talk” He replied low “The sooner the better my dear, it’ll be nice to have them here with us” Caius rolled his eyes “You cannot steal the little one my dear” He whispered “I wouldn’t steal her Caius, but I would look after her and Nico if…Demetri and Sophie wanted alone time” Demetri chuckled as she took Ellie from Sulpicia “I’m going to assume Sophie and Ellie have your approval” “Definitely my dear boy” Aro answered smiling. 
Later that afternoon Demetri took Sophie and Ellie up to his room and met the twins in the corridor “Hello Demetri, Nico” Jane smiled “Hello Jane, Alec. This is Sophie and Ellie. Sophie this is Jane and Alec” He introduced “It’s nice to meet you both” Jane said smiling “Yes, we’ve heard lots about you” Alec added “It’s nice to meet you both too, Demetri has told me about you both also” Sophie replied  with a smile. The twins followed them into Demetri’s room taking a seat on the sofa “They want a cuddle with Ellie” Demetri said to Sophie as she watched the twins get comfortable “Oh ok. I’ll change her quickly and then she’ll be ready for a cuddle” Sophie said before entering the bathroom to change Ellie’s nappy. A few minutes later and Jane is cradling Ellie in her arms, Alec sitting beside her “Ellie’s loving all these cuddles and attention” Sophie whispered to Demetri, although the twins heard “There’ll be no shortage of offers to look after her and Nico should the two of you want alone time” Alec said smiling “As long as I get first refusal” Jane said looking at Demetri “You’ll have to speak to Athenodora, I think she called dibs first” Demetri chuckled “My room is closer” Jane replied, Demetri and Sophie nodded at her. Nico went and beside Alec waiting for his turn to hold Ellie again. 
Sophie and Ellie stayed over the night and Demetri saw to Ellie when she stirred, crying a little, allowing Sophie to get a full night’s sleep. The following morning Demetri caught her off guard with his topic of conversation “Sophie I would like you and Ellie to move in with me, here at the castle” “Isn’t it a bit soon to live together?” She questioned “Sophie, remember what I said about my kind being protective of our mates…” She nodded “…In my case it’s worse as there are two children to protect also” He continued “I must admit I like it when you stay over, but I miss you both when you leave” She replied “I miss you both too when we’re not together. I want my family together, I want us all under one roof, so I can protect all three of you” Demetri said looking at Sophie, Sophie was speechless hearing Demetri say her and Ellie were his family “I love you Sophie and that will never change, I promise. Please move in with me mi amore” He asks holding her hands in his and she nods, her eyes tearing up “Ok, we’ll move in with you” “Really?” He asked “Yes, Dem really. I love you too” Demetri smiled wide and lifted her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her, her arms wrapping around him too. “Hear that Ellie you’re moving into the castle with Daddy and I” Nico said smiling at her and she made little noises back at him in response, causing him to laugh “I need to teach you to talk once you move in” He added, Demetri and Sophie chuckled watching their children together. 
Demetri moved Sophie, Ellie and their stuff into the castle that weekend with the help of Felix and the twins. “Sophie the room opposite yours and Daddy’s is my room, but I haven’t really stayed in there as I sleep in Daddy’s bed, but now you and Ellie are moving in with us, that room will be now be mine and Ellie’s shared room” Nico said smiling and pulling her into the room “It looks nice but are you sure you want to share with Ellie, she doesn’t always sleep through the night” She replied “I like sharing with Ellie when we stay with you and I don’t mind if she cries in the night” He replied “You won’t change his mind mi amore” Demetri said in her ear, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind “I just wanted him to be sure Dem that’s all” “I know but trust me, Nico wants to share with Ellie..” “He told us all how this is his and Ellie’s room now” Felix added cutting off Demetri as he entered the room with a box of Ellie’s stuff. “Thank you for helping us move in” Sophie said to Felix and the twins “You’re welcome, although I was surprised you didn’t have more stuff” Alec replied “The apartment came furnished and all I had was mine and Ellie’s clothes and a few toys when I moved over here. I bought a few things that I needed once I moved in and planned to get more as time went on but…” “Anything you need just let me know cara and it’s yours” Demetri cut her off but she didn’t reply, choosing to just smile at him.
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m-y-fandoms · 4 years
Text
Rantarou Amami x Ultimate Writer - FLUFF
Request: Hi! Your writing is incredible ^^ I was wondering if you could write Rantaro with an Ultimate Essay Writer s/o, maybe comforting them when they're up late writing? I hope that's okay, and thank you :D
Hey! Sure I can do this! But, I wanna make it just the Ultimate Writer. I’m an english writing major myself IRL, and I have to write essays, non-fiction, emails, resumes, letters, instructional guides, graphic novels, fiction, poetry etc. so they will definitely have essay-writing skills anyway. Ultimate Writer just makes it easier. I hope you don’t mind :) - Admin Kokichi
     "Nnnn!" You gritted your teeth in frustration, "NNNGGHH!" Your arm was stretched to its extent, reaching up with all your might. The shelf above was just out of reach. Your fingertips scraped against the spine of the thick brown book above you, but strain as you might, it wasn’t budging, firm and snug against the others on the shelf. "Gah!" You puffed in anger, clenching your fists. Why did the books you wanted from the basement library always have to be so high up? You needed this particular text as a reference for your next piece. 
     It was going to be a throwaway letter, a confession written to express your feelings then set them free by burning it later. It didn’t matter, really, what you wrote at this point. Anything to get your mind off of all of… this. In this killing game, your writing was the only thing that brought you comfort. You stayed up every night scrawling until your wrist cramped up. Your Monopad had a notes section to type in, but you much rather stick to the traditional ways. The lack of sleep and endless output of creative thought was starting to weigh on you, and now it looked like you weren’t even getting this damn book today, “Man, this blows…” You sighed deeply. "AH!" You jumped, startled when a large, ring-clad hand suddenly appeared in front of your face, bracelets jangling in your ear. Soon, you felt someone's broad chest against your back. The hand grabbed the book you wanted and brought it down. You turned around with your hand on your chest, still a little jumpy. "Oh, phew… Rantarou, it's just you."
      "Yeah,” he chuckled gently, “here ya go Y/N." There stood your crush, the rich playboy with a heart of gold. You felt your cheeks go warm. He was often in the library, and you relished every moment you got to spend glancing over your shoulder at him while we has up to his usual antics of planning traps or researching new ways to interrogate your classmates until someone was spooked into admitting their position as the mastermind. Once in a while, he would read for pleasure, and at first you felt like an asshole for being surprised by that. You judged him too early on, seeing a flawless face and a suave personality and assuming he would be the popular kid archetype you’d seen in many an awful young adult novel. The more you got to know him, the more he revealed himself to be highly intelligent, well-rounded, considerate, empathetic, and extremely attractive.
     "Thanks, Rantarou," you looked down, placing the book under your arm.
     "No problem… it's not everyday I get to do something useful for someone else here," he rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously. You laughed too, looking him up and down. 
      “That’s not true!” you countered. “You’re always helping us all out. You give great advice, too!”
      “Well, I try to help, but I’m sure it hasn’t escaped everyone’s notice that none of my plans have really... taken off,” he gestured, moving his hand in a soaring-upward motion. “Also, with me not rememberin’ my talent and all… I kinda have become the expendable background character, yeah?” His eyes crinkled closed with a kind smile.
      He laughed again to fill the silence of the dark, empty library. You giggled. You always thought it was cute how could be so humble, looking the way he did, sounding the way he did. He had been that way ever since you’d met him, and are far as you were concerned, it seemed genuine. You couldn’t really trust anyone in this killing game, but you trusted Rantarou. Even in the library past midnight, where no one would know if you ended up dead, you trusted Rantarou.
      "Sorry, I uh, I didn't mean to scare you," he leaned against the bookcase, arms crossed.
      "Nah, it's fine. You helped me out, so I forgive you..." You joked, playfully punching his shoulder. He smiled a bit sheepishly, an expression you didn’t see often in the confident male.
      "Yeah I… haha," He fiddled with a book nearby," I didn't think anyone would be here. I always come at night. Surprisingly, it's pretty boomin’ here during the day, so I come later on to avoid the hassle of a crowded space." You understood completely. Rantarou was always secretive about his plans.
      “I know, I see you here sometimes,” you mused.
      “Oh, really? I usually sit behind the back shelves, so I guess i didn’t notice you. You’re pretty quiet, huh? Maybe I should be watchin’ my back for you, huh?” He snickered
      "I was having the same thought, isn't that weird?" He looked at you with alarm. “I’m kidding!” To that, he relaxed a bit. "So, watcha reading?"
      "Oh, um," He gestured behind him to the aforementioned back shelf "I’m set up back there reading. It's just some old, boring, textbook information on one of the small countries I’ve visited. I thought it'd be interesting, but..."
      "Yeah, sounds like it," You looked at him with genuine interest, and he smiled in appreciation.
      "Wait, really?!"
      "Yeah, why wouldn't it be? I think it’s super cool that you’re well-traveled. I guess that’s why you and Korekiyo get along so well, huh?" His feet shuffled in silent excitement at your shared enthusiasm. He bit his lip playfully, and your eyes grew shiny in admiration. He was so adorable.
      He noticed your change in expression and coughed, frowning a little in embarrassment. You tried to change the subject, to make him comfortable again.
      "H-hey, Rantarou?"
      "Hmm?" He looked up from the ground eagerly.
      "You're gonna be up reading all night, right? Well.. I will be, too, and... it’s harder for someone to kill us with four eyes on the lookout..."
      "Yeah?"
      "So, you wanna maybe sit with me here at my table? The vents reach this side of the library better so it’s a bit warmer... haha, it's... it's kinda cold in here," You pulled your uniform’s turtleneck tighter around yourself, shaking a little. Rantarou immediately accepted. He wasn’t about to pass up an invitation from his crush.
     “Hell yeah, sounds great! I’ll go grab my stuff, but, hey, I’ve noticed I hardly ever see you in the dorms… you know you gotta sleep, right?” He had a concerned look on his face, and your heart of course fluttered at his attention to detail and knowledge of your habits, but you didn’t want him worrying about you when he had his own safety to look out for.
      “Well, I appreciate the concern, but I’d much rather spend time with you than be in my dorm alone worrying.” He seemed to blush at your words, and you thought you’d maybe gone too far, until he agreed, and rushed over to grab his reading material.
~
      You sighed deeply, a yawn slipping out once or twice. At least two hours had passed since you and Rantarou set up your little corner and there he still sat, in the wooden chair across from yours, never looking up at you from his book. A peaceful, relaxed look glazed his face. He had been that way almost the whole time, but you could sense him becoming a bit antsy. Maybe he was just tired?
      You were both fast readers, so by now you had already read the best sections of your own books and switched. He now sat reading the yellowed pages of the book you selected: an eclectic compilation of 16th century romance literature, and you were now five chapters into his text on the different ethnic groups of some far-off land.
      “Hmm… heh,” he shook his head amusedly.
      “What?” Your head shot up anxiously, fearing he was judging your choice of genre.
       “It’s just... some of this is extremely cheesy and cliche. You’d think the old masters would have done a little better.” He lifted the book in a referencing gesture.
      “Ah, yes, I noticed that as well. I was hoping for a little inspiration, but… it seems Monokuma isn’t the best curator of quality literature.” He nodded in agreement, seemingly stuck on a thought. You could see him stare into space for a second before continuing.
      “Inspiration for what… may I ask?” He pressed, waiting with bated breath for your reply. You felt your feathers start to ruffle, the borders of your comfort zone being invaded by the enemy. You didn’t know if you should answer honestly. The letter was a throwaway for a reason…
      “I was going to write a letter…” it slipped out, and you quickly regretted it. Apparently, your brain had decided to take the lead for you. You never recalled yourself being so forward or brave.
      “Why do you need sonnets and romance novels to write a letter? Planning to sweet talk Monokuma into freeing us?” He chuckled somewhat teasingly, but his haughty words slowly faded to silence upon noticing the wet shine in your nervous eyes, the way your fingers played with the corner of the book as a distraction for your discomfort.
      “No…” You coughed, clearing your throat. Rantarou looked away, running a hand through his green shaggy locks. He knew what the letter was for, of course, who it was for. He was a bit nervous, too, eager to play off the tension in the room with humor, but it wasn’t working. He was wondering why you were so apprehensive, so sullen at his inquiry. You two flirted almost every day… did you seriously need to worry about his reaction? Did you think he didn’t like you back? “I-It’s… well it was going to be a um… a confession of sorts… just to get my feelings down on paper and off my chest. Then I was gonna burn it afterward to set those feelings free!” You smiled weakly, betraying your lack of confidence.
      “Nah, you should give it to him- them!” He corrected himself, dropping the most obvious hint he could. You still didn’t look convinced, a bit oblivious.
      “Y-you think so?”
      “For sure, no doubt. Whoever that letter is meant for,” he leaned in to you, clasping his calloused hands around yours. You felt your heart skip a beat at the contact, and you were left speechless, fearing any words spoken now would come out as idiotic babbling, “they are gonna love it. Trust me.” His eyebrows rose with emphasis, and he shot you one of his iconic, heart-melting smiles.
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noodles-07 · 4 years
Note
Oh mighty nyanbinary, would you spare some among us advice? Advice for the poor? ~ among us anon
>:) Crewmate advice or impasta advice?
As a crewmate you want to look the least sus you can so that your fellows don’t waste a turn voting out you when they could’ve voted out the impasta
It’s kinda playing dirty, but moving in groups is great for safety. Groups of three are best, but if you can confirm someone else is safe then just sticking with them is fine
If visual tasks are on you can confirm them by watching them do a visual task. Best way to confirm yourself if you have a visual task is to wait to do the task til the first meeting, and ask people to follow you during that meeting, then do it in front of them
If you start following someone because you’re done with tasks and they run around something more than once, they’re scared of you. Back off or you’re sus and may get voted out 
“If it’s not them kill me” is a high risk high reward strategy and should only be used if you’re certain.
You may have trusted someone last time. They may be your enemy this time. Do not trust blindly. I learned this with Chunk and Dr Derp. Learn from my mistakes.
As an impasta you’re playing a different game. For a crewmate it’s a matter of narrowing it down and completing tasks, for impasta it’s a game of strategy and wits.
If someone calls you out do not instantly say that the accuser is sus. That’s hella sus and you probably will be outvoted. Instead try to direct blame subtly. My favorite line is “Accusing someone right off the bat with no proof is kinda sus tho”
See if you can get people to pile up, then jump in the heap and kill someone. DO NOT self report if you do this. They can’t see who did it, so it’s most likely going to be a skip. Float the idea of a self report here.
If you have to vote out your impastamate it will hurt. But it will be worth it. It’s super sus to be the only one who didn’t vote someone out.
If you have to lie low for a bit, be very careful. They’ll know you were sus and not doing anything could be more sus than doing something. 
Be careful of cameras. They have a little light that blinks when someone is watching. Don’t be sus when the cam is on. 
^ following that, if someone is on cams don’t go into a room and vent. Far too easy to get busted
^ Except. I went into medbay once, shut the security room door, and vented to security. Killed them and vented back. Quick and easy.
Do not be seen leaving the scene of a crime. This also goes for when you sabatouge (forgive my spelling). If you’re seen running away from the reactor when there’s a big frickin alarm you will be busted.
Self reports are risky, avoid them unless it has a good reason, like being cornered.
That’s all I got for now :)
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potatosoldier · 3 years
Text
Are you still there?
/ Part 3 /
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Later in the chapter, the medic names are made up from the fact that what names were common!
The following morning was interesting indeed. Lewis had been very productive and gotten me PT gear and my WAC dress greens, which included a hobby jacket, “garrison” cap and a pretty skirt. I was extremely grateful, until he gave me my OD’s, which of course were made for men. The issue of being unhappy didn’t come to place until he saw me in them. And he laughed so loud it startled the men who wear near our barrack. 
“Oh my, my, you look like you’re gonna spread your wings and take off like a flying squirrel”, he snorts coming over to me and playfully flaps the sides of my jacket. I look at him very unimpressed, and then quickly slap his hands away. But then sigh. “I should’ve kept the skirt”, I giggle. But all in all it isn’t so bad, I have my medics patch and good pants. They are a little tight on the hips, but nothing unbearable. 
And off we went, him escorting me to my first field exercise with Herbert Sobel. Oh boy. 
------------------
“Nurse Winters, what is the meaning of this, you look more unpresentable then any of these men!” 
The screaming of Sobel starts straight away as I stand with the men from the second platoon. “No excuse, sir”I say knowing he was commenting on my jacket. He looks ready to snarl, once again. “I’ll let you off, since you are only a woman after all, find a belt for tomorrow, or I will have to find an adequate punishment.” I just look ahead my eyes cold, so that’s how it is. “yes, sir.”
I feel like he assigned me with the second platoon just to torture my husband. And me. He was in for a surprise, if there was one thing me and Dick would not waver from, that was our duty. 
-------------------
I quickly started learning that I already had some knowledge to the matters we were going through. Enough for me at least. My main job for now was keep up with the men and when needed, have a plan on how to transport the “wounded” and if that was not possible, how to make a good long term plan for their health and the stamina and safety of the other men. 
I was thinking and whispering with Eugene Roe as two of our men: Joe Toye and “Popeye” Wynn were “wounded”. Joe had a shoulder wound and Popeye had an upper thigh wound. Both we’re now patched up with Popeye having a syrette tied to his jacket. 
“We have to take one man off the line, to help Popeye near the Jeep, and once we drag Joe far enough he can start walking. One of us has to stay here, in case there comes an urgent need for a medic”, I whisper. 
Roe looks at me little uncertain, but nods. “We’re gonna need to call the jeep towards the edge of the woods, but still near enough, we can’t wait too much, since Popeye’s wound is a heavy bleeder”, he backs up with his Louisiana drawl. 
We report our plan, and luckily, we get the knowledge that we just saved more than two men, we the good decision of one of staying near the line. 
“But Winters, Roe, next time call for back up, we need all the good men in the line, when someone needs to be carried, try and get help along with the jeep. Even if it feels obvious, remember clear orders”, Dick says nodding as he looks over our work. 
I feel pride swell up in my chest, not because we did surprisingly well, but because I got good objective critique. Learn, Sonja, learn everything you can. 
--------------------
When the maneuver is over,  everyone looks more or less annoyed. Sobel turned out to be the epitome of good in theory, terrible in practice. My thighs were also on fire, even if I had good physical training, the crouched running in high speed for surprisingly long distances is rough. 
“So, how does it feel now?”, Skip asks as we sit together to eat. I was once again chatting with Skip. It felt good to have people who actually reacted well to my arrival. 
Joe was apprehensive still, but yesterday when we talked, he realized that I was just a proper farm girl from Minnesota. Nothing fancy even I used pretty words, I was just a curious soul. 
I shrug: “I was scared it was going to be worse, with all you told me yesterday. Apart from the reprimands I got for my height and lack of muscle tone, I feel like I got very just treatment”, I smile and take a mouthful of the food on my plate. 
Skip snorts and looks at me like I had gone crazy. “The man screamed at you, because you aren’t able to carry a man thrice your size, but instead you dragged him, come on “, he shakes his head. I shrug once again. 
“I’m here to do a duty, I’m assigned with you because I was deemed fit, and if I want to be fit enough I have to work for it. He cannot let me off”, I explain my side. Sobel had yes screamed at me for dragging Denver Randleman when he was wounded, but Christ I was happy I was even able to move him. I knew I should do better, but for now I just need to work harder. 
Bill shakes his head : “You’re a fucking skirt, ain’t no man carrying Bull from this company either” And continues to shovel down his food. 
Skip grins at me. “you see Nurse Winters, we fight your corner, even if you are green and weak”. I glare at him playfully. I know that’s what most of the men thought, but Skip was not one of them. He really had been there for me today on the field. Him and Penkala. If I did something wrong, they quickly did something to make me correct it. 
But when it comes to others, it had been a tough day. Joe Liebgott was constantly on my neck, I heard the way he spoke about me, I heard the way him and some of his friends said I did not deserve my place here. In all honesty, I couldn’t blame him. I was a woman, it was easy for them to think that I was just some hussy who crawled up the right thigh. I needed to deserve my place here, i needed them to see that I was more then just big doe eyes and pinned up hair. 
“What will you do when we are jump training?”, he asks suddenly. I was not jumping into Normandy, so I was not taken in for the parachute training. I swallow quickly and answer: “I’ll be doing PT or then preparing at the hospital. I cannot believe how big that hospital is, it truly is wonder”
Skip smiles at my happiness. It was easy for me to talk to him like this. One-on-one. I was still too nervous to open my mouth when I was in the middle of all the men. “You really like helping people, huh”,he chuckles. 
I nod and continue eating quietly.
------------------
Couple weeks later, I was a new woman. I knew my routine and I was dedicated to make it perfect. I still had very few friends, but they all seemed to have accepted my presence at least. Skip was still my safety blanket among the men. Me and Richard had made the decision of being very chaste and professional, even in private. Lewis decided it was a good reason to tease us for being the epitome of purity, but we saw it as a fair and responsible thing to do. 
The men did not know about him being my husband either, for the record the army had so many people with the same name, that it was not surprising that they didn’t even suspect it. Although it was harder and harder for me every day to hear one nameless sergeant keep pestering people about my husbands calm and correct ways. 
Today was my day, well it was a field exercise designed for medics. Many simulated casualties so that we could practice our bandaging, improvising and so forth. 
“Come on, I’m wounded plant me just a little one”, George tried pursing his lips as I bandaged his leg, making a improvised splint. I shake my head and bring two of my fingers first onto my lips then plant them on his. 
“There you go”, I say as I finish the bandage. He looks at me in mock horror, “You just put your dirty fingers into my mouth!”, he gasps. I roll my eyes smiling. 
“I put them on your mouth, you’re wounded, you have bigger worries”, I reason and look at him like a mother would look at a misbehaved child. He just mouths words mockingly and pats my head like I was his best dog to torture. 
Then what I see next makes me freeze, some of the medics truly sedating Sobel. Oh Christ no. I stand up and job over to them. “What do you think you are doing?”, I ask sharply at the two medics, Webb and Jackson, who are now trying to pull down Herbert’s pants. 
“Fuck of broad”, they snort and try to keep going. I purse my lips and kneel next to them. “I may be a nurse, but I am a part of this company. You are risking this mans health, which goes against every vow you’ve made. You may think I am just an ignorant woman, who wants to play a soldier, but I’m here to do my job. You might not care about him, but this is not the way to go”, I quietly advice them. 
They look at me raising their eyebrows as if they had to care what I’m saying. Webb then shakes his head and snorts grasping the front of my collar to bring me closer. 
“Oi, hands off the lady Webb!”, comes a raspy voice. Behind us comes Joe Toye with a makeshift sling. Webb doesn’t move at first not thinking Joe could be series. 
But once Joe stands behind us and growls “What did I just say?”, the hand comes off right away. “Nurse Winters had the balls to tell you off. I don’t care the fuck you are doing to that on the floor, but you ain’t disrespecting her”, he says seriously while looking at Webb and Jackson both. 
“Sorry Winters”, they both mumble. I sigh and stand shaking my head. “Just don’t hurt him”, I whisper and go to help with the evacuating. 
Joe stops me before I can go. I smile at him tenderly “Thanks for that Joe, it means a lot.” He shakes his head and one corner of his mouth raises up: “Just fighting for your corner, Bambi” 
I walk to the litters with a smile on my face. The nickname is ridiculous, but hey, I was finally fitting in. 
--------------------
“So no one reported?”, Nixon asks as we sit on our bunks. I shake my head: “Nope, I tried to tell them off Lew I really did”, I sigh and look at my hands. 
He chuckles: “Don’t say that anywhere else, they’ll ask you to identify”. The door opens and Dick steps in. Straight from the latrines. I smile at him in my PT gear. It felt nice, the shorts. I was not really a fan of anything restricting me from the waist down. Oh no Sonja, do not phrase things like that ever again. 
He smiles at me too and then does something surprising, he walks over to me and lays a kiss on my forehead. “You really impressed the men yesterday, I heard what you did”, he whispers. I shrug, it was nothing he wouldn’t have done. 
“Wanna plant one on me just as congrats?”, I ask in a tender whisper. He chuckles and gives me a sound kiss. I grin widely and take a look at my book Seitsemän veljestä. The Seven brothers, a Finnish novel. My brother send it to me one Christmas. Now the spine looked torn, Sobel had had his fun looking at it while throwing our things all over the place. When I saw the state of my books I almost cried. Luckily one of the soldiers from F-company, David was his name, was able to tell me where to get some cheap books. 
“You sicken me you know, ever since she came in you’ve become a freaking dog”, Lewis throws from his bed. Dick once again rolls his eyes and starts to neatly fold his clothing. “She is my wife, Nix. And we have been perfectly professional, you of all people know that”, he grunts taking his boots off. 
Nix chuckles, the sound a strange thing on it’s own. “I hit a nerve”, he sings and happily plops down once again.
And once again thank you @iilovemusic12us ❤️
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Hiii could I please get bnha & haikyuu matchup? Preferably with males pls. My pronouns are she/her. I am 5’4, an ambivert and a Latina. My enneagram is type 4. I have pale skin, mid-length brown wavy hair with bangs, and hazel eyes. I am described as someone who comes off as cold or aloof when I’m around people I don’t know. After getting to know me, I am the complete opposite. I’m just a bit shy at first lol. My friends have told me that I give good advice but like to joke about my stubbornness. I like to make people laugh and try to make the best of any situation. However I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I’m also described as easy going and fun to be around. I also love animals especially dogs.
I am a hip hop dancer and love to perform. Dance to me is very freeing and I'm usually dancing anywhere anytime haha. I choreograph a lot as well. I also enjoy reading could vary from manga to non-fiction. I love music especially hip hop, rap, & reggaeton. I also love to write music/poetry. At one point I was composing 2-3 songs a day but lately I've lost my creative streak. I never show anybody though since I’m really shy about it. I'd love to one day tho! I can be playful and love to tease my friends. I also really like to eat and travel. I am a bit of a homebody but I enjoy hiking because of the exercise. I really enjoy having deep conversations. I can’t stand people who bully others and people who are fake. I like to be honest and helpful in any way I can. My style is usually anything comfy/casual and I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses. I speak English and Spanish (learning Japanese & Portuguese). I would love to learn ASL and Hawaiian one day as well. I enjoy watching crime investigations, probably one of my favorite things to watch.
I don’t really any fears, just not being able to accomplish my goals/dreams. I tend to daydream a lot and I’m also a big procrastinator 😭. I'm usually in my head a lot which tires me a bit. Alone time for me is definitely important. I would say my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I’m usually really cold towards the person I like lol. Only because I test the waters to see if I should spend time and energy on them. I tend to be a bit jealous/possessive, not in an unhealthy way though. Just wouldn’t match with someone who is very flirty with other people lol. What I look for in a partner is someone that is selfless, mature and has depth to them. Also if they are really accepting because I’ve never had that growing up. I'm a bit touch starved lol. Thank you so much 💖💗💕
tl;dr Hinata Shoyo thinks your really cool and supports your goals/you in general fully. Tamaki Amajiki thought you were scary at first, but once you warmed up to each other he ally admires you, and thinks your cute.
Hope this is alright, still new to the whole matchup thing:
Haikyū!!:
I give you…One Shoyo Hinata
He may not always be the most mature person, even in the Haikyū timeskip, but he makes up for it in other ways.
You would probably meet after his first year, probably sometime between end of his second-timeskip around 2018.
Really depends on where you are, I won’t go to into detail seeing as some people might not want spoilers, I will put any spoilers down below the cut at the end of this.
If it’s during high school still, you might be a new manager for Karasuno, or even the manager of another team they are having a practice match with.
Just some things…:
> would love that you can speak multiple languages, he thinks it’s so cool that you can communicate to all kinds of people, and he’d probably ask you to teach him a little bit as well
> he probably wouldn’t care if you were ever distant/cold, he understands that it takes time for people to warm up to each other, (Kageyama, Kenma even, good examples there)
> if you told him/he saw/you showed him your dancing, he would probably be open jawed thinking stuff like “that- is so freaking cool!!!” yeah- mental exclamation marks.
> if you showed him how to do a couple moves? amazing, he’s gonna brag and go show his teammates tomorrow at practice what he learned how to do
> sometimes he can be a bit energy draining, but if you tell him you need alone time? he understands completely and will give you your time (might be a bit impatient in waiting for you to send him a message saying hi but he respects that all fully.)
> this dude would be so freaking supportive of you- I will go more on this below the cut for manga spoilers- but he’d just think your one of the coolest people ever
> if you do warm up to him, and decide “this is alright” he’d smile so big and just- hug you so tightly because he’s so happy you feel comfortable around him
> being the kind of person he is, he totally understands you wanting to pursue your dreams. he’d support you, your hobbies, all of it.
> if you told him about your song writing + that you’ve been a bit out of it in your writing he would beg you to let him read or hear some of your work (if you said no he’d understand but he’d still in his mind hope someday maybe you would), he’d ask if you wanted him to try and give you some inspiration, his first answer being “Volleyball!”
> he’s so freaking cuddly once he knows if your comfy with that, he’d hug you, hold you hand, all of that
> start of your relationship he’d definitely be blushy and a bit shy (girls though amiright?)
> he’d watch crime shows with you for sure, he might not share the same love for them, but he loves to cuddle up with you to watch them, he might play with your hair, he just likes to be near you to be honest
> he just thinks your freaking cool and really pretty
BNHA:
Ah hmmm…I give you one Tamaki Amajiki?
Its quite the flip around from Hinata but hear me out….
You are probably also a hero-in-training. You might training to be a more rescue based hero, knowing multiple languages you’d be good at containing a scary situation/containing the crowd. Good at calming people down to evacuate or get to safety..
When you meet to be honest he thought you were scary, shivering in his shoes,
as he gets to know you though, whether it’s from observing you or because Mirio or Nejire have tagged you along with them so he had no choice really-
he finds your not all that scary! The other too can be exhausting so you might drift off towards him for a chiller vibe…
Just some things:
> you’d probably bond over food a bit, and both having the want to stick up for others, (or a dislike for meanies).
> it would take a while for you Both to warm up to each other much/fully, but when you do its quite great
> A slower relationship for sure I think, even once your both more comfortable with each other, not a whole lot of affection at first though
> if you first initiated any affection (verbal or physical), he’d probably be a blushing mess, don’t worry though, he finds it easier to show not tell, so once you’ve talked about it to each other and he’s gotten reassurance from his friends, he’d probably be much more affectionate
> probably lots of comforting, cuddles, not a lot of public affection- he’d rather keep it behind closed doors. when your alone he loves to hold you hand or just pat your head, mostly small things but baby steps matter
> if you tell/show him your dancing he might be intimidate, he’d think it’s cool but he’d definitely have a little bit of a mindset about you like he does with Mirio, he loves and supports your dancing fully though
> same with your writing- if you showed him he would probably think “oh well now i have to add to my list of reasons my s/o is amazing.”
> food dates + movies/tv shows probably, he’d watch crime shows with you, he thinks they are interesting, he mostly loves the look on your face when your doing/watching something you love
> definitely lots of comforting him when he’s anxious
> he likes it when you speak in languages he doesn’t speak, he also likes to try and mentally guess what he thinks your saying
> you both need your alone time, so he gets that and respects your space, he hopes you’ll do the same
> he really understands your want to fulfill your dreams and goals, and he really admires you and thinks your really cute.
this was a little rushed and I probably could have found better characters-
hope this is alright if you want a re-match I can do that for sure <3
timeskip!hinata/manga spoilers below the cut
if you meet after high school:
> you both can speak similar language! (assuming that in this made up universe you have already learned how to speak the rest on your list..)
> imagine that cuddly hinata- but better. it’s the timeskip beef all the characters got like—
> if you met/were together when he was doing beach training, he would definitely try and teach you a bit of beach volleyball/indoors as well.
>when he goes back to japan and joins msby? you probably moved over there with him, if not you can probably make a long distance relationship work just fine
> he would brag to his new teammates so freaking much about you too, especially about your dance skills and how many languages you speak
> he’s just really proud of you tbh
> he understands your want to succeed/ achieve your dreams/goals, I mean he moved to freaking Brazil to help him achieve his, so i think he definitely relates
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whoistheasshole · 3 years
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Why do I get yelled at when other people behave like dillweeds?
Anonymous asks: what to do when people vent their anger on me. is it because i am the quiet one in the family or maybe i am the easy target???? cause they did that to me instead of calling out the one who creates the problem
Hi there,
I am not sure if you mean „complain to me about other people/family members“ only or „lash out at me when they are angry at somebody else“ also. Therefore I will try to cover several bases.
Generally, venting can serve a social function where you go to a third party to blow off steam and come back to the original offender more level-headed and constructive. In this way it can be a healthy tool of de-escalation – instead of having a hot-headed debate and just riling each other up, you talk to somebody else to work through the problem and come back with some fresh ideas.
If you vent in this way, you will get a better understanding if you were overreacting or should stand your ground. It can be necessary support to hold firm when you are in fact right.
Of course, all this counts on the fact the everybody involved is a willing participant.
If somebody vents excessively, without the consent of the target or worst, blows up at somebody else because they cannot blow up at the original offender, the venter may still feel relief, but the ventee is drawing the short end of the social stick, so to speak.
It sounds like you are in the latter scenario.
As to the why – I don’t know where it originated, but there’s this story about the boss yelling at the male employee, the employee coming home and yelling at his wife, the wife yelling at the kid and the kid yelling at the dog. The dog then probably gets a stress ulcer and starts chewing up shoes. As this short, though heteronormative, image shows: Everybody is finding somebody else with less power to vent their anger that they are not able to direct back at the aggressor. In real life, it is not always that simple because human connections and power structures are complex (and not like a white US TV commercial from the 50s), but the general dynamic holds true: If people are not able or willing to re-create their equilibrium by fighting right back at the (verbal) attacker, they will find other means to do so. The means do not have to be interpersonal – a lot of people are internalizers and turn the stress inward, getting the aforementioned stress illnesses instead. Or they try to cope with the situation and turn to an advice column. Just as an example. But generally, if you have a group of people–friends, hobby groups, work, family–unwritten social dynamics will always be at play that direct, among other things, who dares talk back to whom, who will stand by and look, who will try to get out of the line of fire, who tends to get blamed and so forth.
Long story short: Through the unique mix of power structures and personalities in your family, you are where you are now. You identified that you would like it to change and need some ammunition to do so. Fortunately, I do have some strategies for you.
First: If there are no safety issues at play, direct is always best. That doesn’t mean spontaneous. You can rehearse what you want to say or talk through it with friends or alone in front of a mirror–rehearsal can be crucial. But it’s absolutely okay and within your power (again, if safe) to speak up about your boundaries and needs. Find a short script that feels right and appropriate for the situation and tell the venter. You might want different scripts for when they are ready to have their next feelings barf versus talking to them in a quiet minute to re-set the dynamic. E.g. „Hey X, I realize Y topic is weighing heavily on you right now, but I’m kind of at my limit talking it through, so I’d like to focus on other topics. I hope you work it out!“
The last part is your friend, by the way, redirecting them to action. It can be used beautifully with incorrigible venters to make it very boring/unhelpful to talk to you. You have to be persistent though, these kind of dynamics are not changed in a day.
„That sounds tough, well I hope you work it out!“ / „Oh. What are you going to do about it?“ / „I see. What do you plan on doing now?“ / „I see that you are quite upset right now so I will give you some space. Feel better!“ and move away. (Read the last one from a Captain Akward commenter and I am still in love.)
What you want to do is:
1) Make it boring. Ever heard that active listening is important? Not here. Here you want to be the least enthused and most unhelpful listener that has ever graced the earth. Short words are your friend, said in a completely neutral tone: „Oh.“ / „I see.“ / „Hu.“ / „Hm.“ If you need some more pointers, look up „Grey rock method“. Fiddle with your phone, get up to do the laundry, have something at the ready that you need to start doing now which means you need to move physically away/make some loud noise. Potentially something that the other person approves of, or at least has no good reason to argue back against. „That sounds tough. I wish I could help, but I really need to get started on my applications. Catch you later!“
2) Never under any circumstances offer your opinion on the situation and especially not on what the other person should do. They might try to make you solve their problems or alternatively, shoot everything down that you suggest, which is also frustrating. If you have the urge to say something or are unsure how to continue the conversation without saying what you think, try silence. Few things are more effective in a conversation than silence. Maybe a small „Hmm“ or other thinking noises, if you must. If asked directly, you can also use „That’s a tough one, no idea off the top of my head.“ / „Honestly, I don’t know. What do you think?“ / „Beats me.“ You can say it sympathetically and remorsefully, but the more monosyllabic and flat you can be, the better.
3) Redirect them to figure it out themselves. See above: „Oh. What are you going to do about it?“ / „I see. What do you plan on doing now?“ It doesn’t mean they ever will. They might actually leave in a huff, but that’s a success. We cannot make other people do things, we can only control what we do ourselves. And if Dr. Vent 3000 bothers somebody else next time, well, success. Some people will have the gall to say „Well, you are not very helpful today.“ Take it as a badge of honor, don’t try to convince them otherwise, you are the grey rock. „Yeah, I’m not creative today.“ / „I’m all out of ideas.“ *shrug*
Family dynamics can make this list of strategies a little less helpful because you are in close quarters more often (I assume) and you cannot avoid the offender as easily, therefore definitely weigh how direct you can be with the person. If you don’t expect serious repercussions, it’s fine to say „Hey, I’m not involved with this and don’t want to be.“ / „Sounds like you need to sort this out with X.“  /„I don’t want to be in the middle of this, please take it up with X.“ / „Frankly, I don’t enjoy these conversations. What about topic change?“ and the all time classics of telling them about other things you need to do now and leaving.
When people put us in a weird position, the anger we feel at the mistreatment can make us blind to the options that are actually at our disposal. It is possible that you can only use few things of what I suggested, but make sure to stop and make an inventory of things that you can do because they are in your power. Feeling stuck and powerless can be the worst thing about this kind of situation and the antidote is identifying what you can do.
P.S.: Don’t get drawn into the losing battle of making the original offender behave (the person who upset the venter). It doesn’t sound like you’re the parent/authority figure in this scenario, so all you need to do is treat people who deserve it kindly and state your own boundaries when they are crossed.
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catlordewrites · 3 years
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The Waif ~ Chapter One
As an alien science experiment, she remembers nothing. Knows no one. With nowhere else to turn, Claudia must rely on the Doctor and his companions for help. She's mutating. The Doctor knows more than he's telling. But why does the Time Lord seem to hate her so much? Rated M.
Chapter Warnings: Death, amnesia, violence.
Masterlist - Fanfiction.net - Ao3
Prologue - This Chapter - Next Chapter
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Chapter One: Somebody
Anyone walking the streets of Cardiff at approximately eight in the morning would’ve thought that the young woman waking the wrong way down the sidewalk was mentally challenged. 
And there were people walking the streets, so many of them were thinking this.
Maybe she was a drug addict that had decided to take a walk in the sun. Maybe she had climbed out of her lover’s window when his wife came home early and she only made it out with a nightgown. Maybe she had just escaped from a mental ward.
Perhaps she had. Who knew? Certainly not her. 
She’d left Mr. Stray the moment she realized he was dead. Somewhere in her jumbled thoughts, she recognized that she probably shouldn’t have left his body for some stranger to find, but the mix of relative safety and indifference she’d felt the night before had vanished with the rising sun. She’d panicked, for numerous reasons, and found herself trying to get as far away from the homeless man’s corpse as she could.
Her mind was a confusing murky haze of information and lack thereof. None of her thoughts made sense to her, even though she presumed that they were relatively normal ones to have. 
Thoughts like Where am I? seemed to mock her from within her own mind, but from behind a wall of emptiness, like a question on a test that she knew she ought to know the answer to. She’d studied it, but now it was gone. Stupid, forgetful girl. Who am I? Don’t worry, don’t worry. Relax and it’ll come back to you. Where am I supposed to be? What’s wrong with me? Just ask for help if you get lost, but they’ll laugh at you if they know you’ve forgotten. 
She felt like crying. She was lost in a place she felt like she probably shouldn’t be. She mentally begged for someone to fix it. For someone to just know and help her.
Claudia studied the faces of the people she passed, hoping to see a flicker of recognition in one of them, hoping that someone may recognize her and say, ‘Oh, there you are! Where have you been?’ 
She felt an awful lot like an item in the lost and found. Existing in a strange sort of purgatory until someone thought to come by and claim her. Whether that person be the original owner or someone new, it didn’t matter, she didn’t care. A stray animal wandering the streets, trying to find her way back to her old home or into a new one. 
Her bare feet began to sting and bleed, but she carried on, hoping to eventually find the place she was supposed to be.
~0~0~0~ . . ~0~0~0~
It didn’t take Claudia long to get tired. She was hungry, sad, and her feet were scraped and bleeding. She came across a nice park, one with benches and children playing on colorful plastic playground equipment, and decided to sit and rest.
A little girl from the playground came waddling up to her. She couldn’t have been more than eight, with bright red pigtails and heavily freckled face. She smiled at Claudia shyly, stopping a few feet in front of her and holding out a small white flower.
Claudia smiled at the gesture. The little girl beamed back, displaying a few gaps in her smile. 
“I’m Sara,” the little girl announced confidently, coming the rest of the way over and clambering up on the bench beside Claudia.
“I’m Claudia,” Claudia said softly, smiling down at the little flower as she twirled it between her fingers.
“Why are you so sad?” Sara was looking up at her thoughtfully, her little nose scrunched up as she tried to work out why the grownup beside her could be anything but happy.
Claudia shrugged, keeping her eyes on the flower. “I think… I think I’m lost.”
“That’s no good,” Sara concluded. “Where do you have to go? Maybe I can help.”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember anything.”
Surprisingly, Sara didn’t question it. “Like amn… amnei..”
“Amnesia,” Claudia agreed in her quiet voice, slightly surprised at how easily the word had come to her.
“Yeah. How’d that happen?”
“I don’t know. I just woke up. I don’t even know where I am.”
“You’re in Cardiff,” Sara answered firmly, without the slightest hint of criticism. “That’s in Wales. Which is part of the UK. My teacher made us learn all about it.” Her brow crinkled moodily. “And we even had to point to it on a map. I got that part right, but I messed up on Germany.”
“You’ll get it right next time.” For the first time since she’d woken up, she smiled. It was small and nervous, but a smile nonetheless. 
“Hope so. We have to do it again next week.” 
“Sara!”
Sara and Claudia looked up to see a tall woman staring at them with her hands on her hips. Her glare was intended for Claudia as much as it was for her daughter, full of wary disapproval and a borderline threat that said do anything to hurt my baby, and I’ll kill you. 
Claudia couldn’t blame her, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious about her dirty white dress and bare feet and imagining how it must look to Sara’s mother. For all the mother knew, Claudia was a homeless crackhead and/or lunatic. For all Claudia knew, she was right.
“Is that your mom?” Claudia asked, wilting slightly under the woman’s stern gaze.
Sara winced. “Yeah. I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
“That’s good advice.” Claudia picked at her finger nails nervously. “You should probably go back to her.”
“Yeah, okay.” Sara wiggled back to her feet, but instead of leaving, she spun back around to face Claudia. “In class, when I can’t remember what an answer is, I think of all the things I can remember. Sometimes the rest will come back. You should try it, maybe you’ll remember too.”
“I’ll try.” Claudia managed another small smile and Sara, satisfied that she’d managed to cheer the sad woman up a little, bounded back over to her mother.
Claudia watched as the mother scolded her, impressed at how nonchalant the child was in the face of her mother’s wrath. 
She twirled the small flower in her fingers, watching the delicate petals spin as she tried to pull her thoughts together enough to work out what she could remember. She frantically scoured at the deepest recesses of her mind, looking for anything. A name. A place. A face. 
There was nothing.
When an angry black SUV tore around the corner at the other side of the park, Claudia realized that there was something that she knew: angry black SUVs bearing several strange people with strange science equipment and guns were probably bad. 
“You!” The man who had been in the driver’s seat shouted as he leapt out of the car. He was dressed in mostly blue, with suspenders and a long, thick coat that flapped around his legs. “Stay where you are!”
Claudia realized, with increasing anxiety, that he was referring to her. She stood shakily, toying with the hem of her dress, mud squishing unpleasantly between her toes. An empty brown holster jangled around the man's waist, the gun shining in his hand. Claudia swallowed nervously in spite of her cotton-dry mouth.
“An ultrasonic resonance scoop and thirteen deaths, and you thought that no one would notice?” The man loomed over her threateningly. “You got clumsy with the last one, though. Just left on the side of the street. What, did you get bored?”
Claudia’s mouth opened and closed as she floundered for a response, but her throat was too tight for any sound to escape. She couldn’t think of anything to say, anyway. 
“Hold on, Jack. She’s not like the others,” one of the other people from the car interjected, a woman with dark hair, freckles, and wide spaced teeth. Her large grey eyes were soft with curiosity and pity. 
The man, Jack, lacked both of those qualities. His eyes were cold. “You said that about the last one.”
“Oh, be fair,” the woman scoffed, “he looked twelve.”
“Yeah, and he ripped out that police officer’s throat,” another man - a bit frog-faced, in Claudia’s opinion - added. “With his teeth.”
Whatever blood was left in Claudia’s face drained at the thought. Clearly, there was some sort of misunderstanding. She hadn’t killed anyone. Though, a knot twisted in her gut when she realized that she probably wouldn’t be able to remember if she had or not.
“And that’s not counting what the others did before they slipped off.” Jack bared his teeth into something resembling a grin. “We got this one though, don’t we?” 
“I… I…” Claudia managed to croak.
“Ooh, she speaks!” Jack crooned, he lifted the gun so it was pointed squarely at her chest. “Let’s go, sweetheart. We’ve got a nice, cozy cell for you to slip into. I’ll buy you a drink while we have a chat.”
Claudia tried to move, but her legs wouldn’t obey. Her heart was beating frantically in her throat, and she could hardly hear the gawking park spectators through the sound of blood rushing in her ears. But she did catch a glimpse of Sara clinging to her mother’s legs.
“I said let’s go!” Jack snapped, roughly shoving her shoulder so she staggered in the direction of the foreboding SUV. The tiny flower from Sara slipped from her grasp and lay forgotten in the mud.
Claudia managed a few steps in the right direction, but stumbled as the air around her began to hum. Black ate at the corners of her vision and her limbs tingled like they had all decided to fall asleep at once. 
The man with the frog face pressed a finger to his ear. His eyes widened. “Tosh says there’s another energy spike. She’s being teleported…”
Before Claudia could contemplate what he meant, she was enveloped by a bright gold light.
“No— No, wait!” Jack’s voice rang in her ears, but he sounded far away.
The man’s shouts of protest faded away, replaced by a deafening ringing as the world faded into dizzying blackness.
~0~0~0~ . . ~0~0~0~
She was on the floor somewhere that she wasn’t before. Claudia lay still for a moment, dazed, trying to work out what had happened through the ringing in her ears.
“Is she stable?” A masculine voice echoed from somewhere nearby.
“Yeah. It’s just the transmat, it screws with your head a bit. She’ll be fine in a moment.”
A loud knock echoed around her. She floundered, trying to figure out which way was up. Another few knocks rattled her, and she managed to sit up. 
Claudia looked around frantically for the frightening man - Jack, and his two companions - but they were gone, as was the park. The young woman desperately tried to wrap her head around the change in scenery - from a park to what she imagined to be some sort of laboratory. 
She couldn’t recall anything that would help explain the phenomenon from the bank of experiences her short life had to offer, so she decided to assume that this was a normal occurrence.
A man in a pale blue coat was peering down at her through some sort of glass barrier. He looked human, but his eyes were far too yellow, rimmed by squarish black glasses. The man raised his hand to tap on the glass again, displaying unnaturally long fingers. Claudia had the odd sensation of being a fish, or perhaps a hamster, looking out at the student who was annoying the class pet.
“Hello!” The man greeted her cheerfully, giving a little wave. 
She stared out at him blankly, having no idea of how she was supposed to respond. She was frightened, but no more of the man before her than of anything else she’d encountered over the past twelve hours. At least he wasn’t as scary as Jack. The situation felt far too dehumanizing for her to be polite or trusting. But rude probably wasn’t the way to go, either.
She was in a sort of glass cylinder that served as an enclosure. The cylinder continued high above her head to the ceiling, topped with a black vent. The floor was made of silver grating that bit painfully into her feet.
Outside the cylinder was an altogether different environment. It was white and sterile. Metal counters lined the walls, covered with various forms of intricate machinery; their purpose Claudia could only guess at. 
On the opposite side of the room was an observation window. Although tinted, Claudia could make out a man on the other side of the glass. He was an older man, tall with a stern face. He was dressed in a coat like the other scientist, staring out at them with his arms crossed and a clipboard in hand.
At the sight of him, something prickled at the back of Claudia’s mind. It might have been recognition, but it was too faint to be sure. 
To her left, Claudia noticed three other cylindrical tanks like her own, each with its own inhabitant. From her viewpoint, she could just make out a boy in his early teens, a young woman with mossy brown hair, and a muscular man that appeared to be in his late thirties.
The scientist with glasses turned away from Claudia, picking up a clipboard as he went and ruffling though it thoughtfully. He stopped in front of the boy, who was curled up in a ball at the floor of his cell. Although his face was half hidden and his hands fisted in his hair, the blood around his mouth was clearly visible. 
“Yeah, and he ripped out that police officer’s throat,” the frog faced man in the park had said. “With his teeth.”
Claudia shuddered, imagining it. He looked so small and helpless now, but she didn’t doubt what the man in the park had said.
“223-A is responding negatively,” the man on the other side of the window mused, his voice echoing from the ceiling through speakers. “Prepare to terminate.”
The other glanced up from fiddling with an instrument that resembled a microscope. “Aww, come on, Solane, he’s the first to actually accept the treatments. Surely that counts for something.”
Solane simply wrote something down on the clipboard, not bothering to look up. “Unchecked aggression and mental degradation is not what we are trying to achieve. Don’t get sentimental on me. It’s unbecoming. Now, prepare to terminate.”
The younger scientist sighed and made his way over to a computer console. He typed a few lines and turned a nozzle to the right of the computer. “Proceeding.”
A toxic yellow fog began seeping into the boy’s cell from the ceiling vent, filling the cylinder in a matter of seconds. 
Claudia could only watch with mounting horror as the boy twitched and began coughing. Within moments, he was spasming. His gangly body seizing and contorting painfully, head snapping and eyes rolling for what seemed like ages before finally, mercifully, he stilled.
“Lifesigns terminated,” The younger scientist confirmed, still sounding a bit rueful. 
A frightened sob escaped unbidden from Claudia’s lips. She shrank against the glass, trying to put as much space between her and the horrible people as she could. The scientists ignored her.
“Good,” Sloane acknowledged.
Much to her dismay, the young scientist ambled back over to Claudia’s tank. He opened a small rectangular window that Claudia hadn’t noticed and looked at her expectantly. “Put your arm through the hole, please.”
Claudia did not want to put her arm through the gap. She didn’t want to be anywhere near this cold, cruel man. Her stomach was still heaving at witnessing the boy’s death and had there been anything in it, she would have vomited.
“Come on,” the man prompted cheerfully. “You won’t get fed until you cooperate. Today’s combination twenty four. You don’t want to miss that, do you? You must be hungry.”
The scientist’s indifferently positive tone made her feel even more sick to the stomach. But he was right, she was starving. Not to mention that she was willing to bet that he would withhold food altogether until she died, if he didn’t give up and gas her first.
Slowly, hesitantly, Claudia slipped her arm through the small window.
“Good girl,” He praised, taking her by the wrist. In one swift movement, he pressed a tube against her arm just a few inches below her elbow. It pinched sharply, causing her to flinch. 
The scientist put away the tube and took up a syringe filled with something green. He injected it into her bicep and released her.
“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? I promised a meal, now, didn’t I?”
~0~0~0~ . . ~0~0~0~
Days ticked by dully, or at least Claudia thought they were days. It could’ve been weeks, or months. The harsh artificial lights never changed intensity to indicate the difference between night and day. Meals were regular, and there were stretches of time where Dinstral, the young lab assistant, wasn’t in the room, but these regularities had no relation to anything else, and therefore weren’t enough to use as a method of telling time. But by her estimates, Claudia had only been wherever she was for a handful of days. 
She was given bland bowls of what appeared to be porridge through the small window of her tank. Every so often Dinstral would come by to inject more of the green liquid. Then he would do something called ‘Optimising’. Claudia had no real idea of what that meant, but knew that the assistant would type something in the computer, which then caused her tank to vibrate. 
She couldn’t really feel any difference after Optimising, but they seemed to think that the ten minute session after every injection was necessary, and Claudia wasn’t in a position to protest. 
After Optimization, Dinstral would take a blood sample and would go off to run tests on it, leaving Claudia alone in her glass prison.
She tried on multiple occasions to initiate conversation. She tried to ask Dinstral what was going on; what he was doing; what they wanted with her; where she came from; but he would only tsk and say that good girls didn’t ask so many questions. Claudia was always offended by the statement, but, once again, wasn’t in any position to object.
Her fellow prisoners weren’t any help, either. The tank nearest to her was now empty. The woman one tank over didn’t seem able to speak at all, simply grunting disinterestedly in response to any statement made in her direction.
The man furthest away seemed like he was the most capable of intelligent communication. His eyes weren’t empty like the woman’s were. They were sharp, calculating. Unfortunately, he ignored Claudia entirely, casting the barest glance in her direction at every futile attempt at attracting his attention. He spent his days staring silently out into the lab, undergoing the same procedures that Claudia was subjected to without the slightest complaint. 
Then there was Dr. Sloane. Whenever Dinstral was in the room to administer injections or run tests, he was there, watching through the glass. He would make notes and give instructions, but stayed away. 
Claudia wondered why. What was he afraid of? Or was the hands-on part of the test simply beneath him? 
The longer she was in there, the more distraught Claudia became. Loneliness was setting in, eating away at her heart in a manner similar to how the cold from the metal grating under her feet seeped into her bones. She would have done almost anything for a hug. Her memory hadn’t returned as she hoped it would. There was no one. Nothing. 
Was this where she belonged? A mindless science experiment for strange people to poke and prod at? 
She told herself firmly that it couldn’t be. She had to come from somewhere, didn’t she? Someone had to have given birth to her. She surely had parents, right?
She focused on that, spending her spare hours imaging them in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves.
She thought maybe her mother had brown hair, as she did. She might have been kind with a musical laugh and smile lines at the corner of her eyes.
Her father might have been tall. He might have been witty and energetic. He might have had a brilliant smile and perfect white teeth. 
They might have lived in the countryside somewhere. With tall trees surrounding the house and a big front yard. Bright yellow flowers might have grown there, making the air in the spring smell warm and sweet. They might have read her bedtime stories and played outside with a dog. 
They might have been real, and they might have loved her.
That’s what Claudia told herself, anyway. She knew perfectly well that the probability of any of it being true was incredibly low; but to a person with no memory, fiction is every bit as tangible as reality. 
~0~0~0~ . . ~0~0~0~
Then finally, something happened.
Claudia woke up to the sound of people shouting. She sprang to her feet, shaking the groggy remnants of sleep away as she surveyed the lab, eagerly looking for the source. Her fellow lab rats did the same, getting to their feet and staring around with wide eyes, looking more alive than Claudia had ever seen them. 
The lab door was still closed, so they couldn’t see what was happening, but something had clearly gotten their captors agitated. Claudia pressed her palms to the glass, ignoring the cold that seeped into them from the lifeless material. 
The door finally slid open as Dinstral and two other assistants came bustling in. They moved quickly, shouting things at each other in a language that Claudia couldn’t understand. They tapped at the computers, hustling and gathering equipment. 
The cylindrical tanks shuddered in response to whatever commands had been inputted. Claudia watched in horrified amazement as the man’s tank began to sink into the floor. It lowered until the entire thing vanished through the metal-rimmed hole that had evidently been beneath it. 
An escape hatch, Claudia wondered. Where does it go?
Both Claudia’s and the woman’s tanks shuddered and began to do the same. Their task completed, Dinstral and his lackeys hurried back out of the room and out of sight. 
As her tank was lowered through the floor, Claudia tried to work out what was happening. The best she could figure, they were evacuating.
To get away from what?
Claudia was thrown to the floor, scraping her knees as her tank jarred to a halt, halfway in and out of the floor. The tank reversed, raising itself back out into its original placement before attempting to complete the cycle once more. She stayed on the floor this time, but was still jolted unpleasantly as the machine hit whatever snag it had encountered the first time. 
It tried twice more, but ultimately resigned itself to remaining in its original position while the computer at the other side of the room beeped in distress, flashing red warning lights at scientists that weren’t there to respond to them. 
By this point, the other experiments were long gone, having been removed by their fully functioning escape hatches. 
Claudia got back to her feet and knocked on the glass urgently, having no desire to be caught up in whatever had caused the scientists to leave so quickly. Not that she wanted to stay with Dr. Sloane and his cronies, but that was better than being left to die in her own personal isolation tank. 
“Hello?” She called, voice strained from lack of proper use. “Is anyone there? My thing… my thing got stuck!”
There was no reply. She dared calling out a few more times, but received the same result. Everyone was gone.
She wrapped her arms around herself in a poor imitation of a hug as a new kind of despair seeped into her heart. As dehumanizing and horrible as her stay here had been, it was all she knew. Change is hard, for the better and for the worse. It didn’t help that she had no idea if her situation was either. 
Please don’t leave me, Claudia begged, not to Dinstral or Dr. Sloane, but to anyone; to her theoretical family and friends; to anyone at all that might’ve laid claim to her. Please don’t leave me alone.
Minutes felt like hours, and even though she had been abandoned there for hardly any time at all, she felt like she’d been alone for years. So when the sound of footsteps echoed from through the open door, she barely recognized the hope that flared within her.
A man came racing around the corner, twisting wires together with more draped around his neck. He was tall and skinny with a narrow face. He wore a brown pinstripe suit and tie with light colored shoes and hair that stuck up every which way - like he’d been running his fingers through it in agitation. 
The man spotted her and stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide with shock. 
He stared at her for a moment, and Claudia watched as a wide variety of expressions crossed his face. Surprise. Confusion. Then winded, like he’d been punched in the gut. Then anger. 
“You!” He sputtered, voice going a bit squeaky. “What are you—?”
“Doctor?” A young blonde woman in a pink sweatshirt and jeans came charging in after him. She skidded to a stop and examined the room owlishly.
“How did…? Where have…?” The man, whom Claudia presumed was called ‘Doctor’, wavered his way over to the glass, coming closer in a few spastic spurts, much like a worked-up dog would to something that it wasn’t sure was friendly or not. His voice became strained and accusing, stress written on every line of his face. “Why did…?”
“Do you know her?” The blonde asked, coming around to peer at Claudia from around the Doctor’s shoulder with doe-like eyes. 
“Know her… I…” The Doctor broke off, hurt and anger melting into confusion and curiosity as his eyes roved over her. “But… What?”
“What?” Claudia echoed with wide eyes, unnerved by the strange man but who had yet to complete a full sentence.
The Doctor pressed the button to the lock and the glass slid away, removing the barrier between them. He stepped into the cell and came uncomfortably close, peering into her confused eyes with his narrowed ones.
“Doctor?” The blonde asked again, looking uneasy as well. 
His eyes darted around Claudia’s face, absorbing every detail. Then he snatched up her hand. He ran his fingers over her palm, pushing and prodding at the space where her fingers met the rest of her hand. 
“Show me your teeth,” he ordered, peeling back his lips as an example.
Claudia did as instructed, but was alarmed when he quickly ran his thumb along the edges of her teeth. Claudia recoiled, slightly disgusted, and looked to the equally perplexed blonde for help.
“Alright, Doctor, that’s enough of…” She came forward, waving her hand in the air. “...whatever this is. Who is she and what’s so important about her teeth?”
The Doctor blinked and took a step back, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring at Claudia. She could practically see the cogs turning behind his deep brown eyes.
“A lot, actually. But…” He took another step towards Claudia. “Do you know who I am?”
Claudia rubbed her hands anxiously, not sure if she felt hopeful or afraid. He was certainly acting like he knew her. So maybe…
“No,” she said, getting a bit breathless with nerves. “Or maybe? I… I don’t know. I don’t know anyone.”
An explosion sounded in the distance, making the floor shudder. Claudia flinched, her eyes darting back and forth as she became even more agitated.
“Claud…” the Doctor said softly but with a hint of warning, like he was addressing a child. “How d’you mean you don’t know anyone?”
“I don’t know.” She cowered under the heat in his endless brown eyes. Then she blinked, her next-to-empty mind having caught the discrepancy. “You know my name?”
The Doctor seemed to realize his mistake. He grimaced slightly.
The floor shook once more. 
The blonde stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Claudia’s shoulders. “Doctor, leave it for now. Ship losing orbit, remember? We’ve got to go.”
“Ship?” Claudia echoed, more confused than ever.
“Spaceship,” the blonde stated, as if it were obvious. “We’re in space. Did you not know?”
“Space?” Claudia blinked, trying to process it. Not that she had a reason to find the concept of being in space ridiculous. Nevertheless, it seemed… wrong. “Oh.”
The Doctor watched Claudia for a moment longer, pain and concern warring behind his eyes, then sprang into action. He took up the wires he’d been messing with before. “Right. Got to patch this into the mainframe, bypass the…” He glanced back up at the two women. “Rose, take her back to the TARDIS. I’ll be along in a minute.”
“Right, this way.” Rose guided Claudia through the empty corridors, reassuring her every time the other girl flinched at a sudden sound.
“Where have all the people gone?” Claudia asked, peering around corners, expecting one of the scientists with the blue coats to come around them at any moment. 
Rose grinned mischievously. “The Doctor locked them all in the cargo hold. Don’t worry, they can’t get out.”
“Oh, okay.”
What else could she say?
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dangan-happy · 3 years
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Hiro is secretly a sea urchin/ To anyone, preferably Kaito, Kokichi, and Twogami, but if they don't wanna answer that's okay. I've been doing horrible lately. Recently, I've discovered something really important about myself, and honestly, I'm glad I did, it solved a lot of doubts and questions about myself. But it's caused me a lot of anxiety. Let's just say I may or may not be something that my parents (especially my mom, whom I don't have the best relationship with.) pretty much despise. I've brought up the topic with that certain community a couple of times, and each time I do, they berate me. I'm terrified they'll do even worse when they find out, and something's coming up soon that might out me to them, and that's the last thing I want. I don't feel an ounce of security, not like I already did anyway, in my household anymore, and all I want to do is get out. I don't really know what to ask for here, maybe comfort and/or advice would be great. Thank you in advance :). -Spider Anon.
Hello Spider, I’m sorry to hear this. I can guess all of this has felt like a rollercoaster of emotions for you..
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For one, discovering something about yourself is always a big thing! I want to say that I’m proud of you for that, truly. Being scared of it is just.. not good… at all. It’s truly sad to see people feel afraid of just being themselves, hopefully society changes for the better so this sort of situation stops being so common. It’s completely alright to be afraid, you shouldn’t feel shame in that, and asking for help from your peers isn’t bad either, hell, you’re doing it right now sending us this ask.
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Even if it feels scary and it has your heart in your throat, things will be alright. Even if you don’t think they will, trying to not think negatively about it is for the best, try to relax. It will be hard but trying is better than doing nothing, so give it your all. I recommend speaking with someone working on the event about this, they’ll surely help you out in anything you might need. Best of luck, Spider.
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Hey it's no problem bro! You're Spider anon! You know I'm here for you man!! I totally want to answer and try to help you out! Yeah, sometimes self realizations are a double edged sword, I'm glad it cleared some things up for you, but I'm really sorry to hear you're not doing so good. Full disclosure, when you mentioned being something your parents aren't ok with, my mind went "Vampire", and I'm assuming that you're not some kind of cryptid (that would be cool though.)
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Anyways, I think I get what you're implying, and it sucks to hear that your parents aren't cool with that kind of thing. Damn, you totally don't deserve to be berated! You're just getting treated all kinds of unfair! Oh damn, you might get outed? Crap, that's not good. Ok, the good news is that you know that there might be something coming, so that means you can kinda prepare for it, you know? See if there's anything you can do to stop yourself from getting outed. If you're not ready to come out, then that's fine! Being closeted gets such a bad name, but sometimes that closet is comfy, and it's totally ok to hang out in there until things are better for you. The biggest thing to do is to try and ensure your safety as much as possible. See if you can delay or stop the outing. The fact that you know what's coming can be a huge advantage for you, so use that as much as you can. Maybe reach out to other people around you who can support you or maybe help you out a little. You don't have to handle this alone, for every shitty community, there's a good one out there who will want to help you out.
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And worst case scenario, if you do get outed, then you can still stay in the closet. Say something like you don't know why they said that, or that it was a mistake, or something like that. Protecting yourself is priority number one, ok? You're pretty dang tough spider anon, I've seen that so far. Whatever happens, you're gonna be able to handle it. You've proven to be super smart, and persistent, and you're just an overall awesome person. Whatever you figured out, that doesn't change who you are inside, and at the end of it all, no one can change who you are as a person, only you get to decide who you are, and from what I can tell, that's the super funky Spider anon who's lowkey one of my favorite askers. Keep doing whatever you spider can-on, you got this bro, believe in yourself!
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Spider anon!! Hey I actually kinda missed you! Of course I'm gonna answer! Even if Kaito gets the stupid song in my head, which he did. But I'm still here for you no matter what, kay! Agreed, I'm glad you feel better with that discovery (God fucking dammit Kaito, I'm picturing a vampire too.) But yiiiiikes, I can confidently say that the thought of being outed/actually getting outed before you're ready is one of the scariest fucking things possible. I've said fuck like three times so far, I wonder if anyone's gonna stop me.
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Going in for a fourth one, fuck the community that berated you. They don't get to say what's right or wrong about being yourself! That's just super gross and closeminded. I'm sorry that your parents are being disgusting about it too. You deserve so much more than people just despising you for no freaking reason. Kaito had the right idea believe it or not, try to stop it if you can, but I'm gonna give you some pro advice for if it happens, just in case. You ready? It is....Lie! I'm dead serious here.
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If you do happen to get outed, try something like "Oh my god, I was joking when I said that, they took it seriously?!" Try to play it off as best you can. I call it playing the straight/cis/whatever else. If it's a matter of safety, I think that almost anything is fair game as a tool to protect yourself. As painful as it might be, maybe even lie about what you actually are, deny it in the public face. I know, it sucks, but your safety is the most important thing. You gotta survive for now, and you said you don't have a whole lot of security, so trying to build some up seems like a pretty solid idea. You're a real smart cookie Spider anon, that much is obvious, and you're so much more resourceful and generally just a better person than those around you.
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You'll be able to get out someday, I promise. You might have to play the long game for now, but you have the skills to do that. Not to sound like Kaito, but believe in yourself. You're more capable than you think you are, and no matter what happens, you're valid. You're valid, you're a good person, and you're gonna be ok.
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