#mspec mono people can use that definition but
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Anti mspec mono people know that mspec doesn't always mean "attraction to men and women" right. I mean obviously other queer people understand that labels can be complex and have multiple definitions. RIGHT??
#please if i see one more person say that all bi people are attracted to men and women#I'm going to run into the ocean#mspec mono people can use that definition but#IT'S NOT THE ONLY DEFINITION#mspec#mspec mono#bi lesbian#bi gay#pan gay#pan lesbian#mspec gay#mspec lesbian#poly lesbian#poly gay#bihet#queer het#homohet#abro gay#abro lesbian
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Radinclus does NOT mean Radqueer
[PT: Radinclus does not mean Radqueer. END PT.]
🦴🎀 — proof read by the boyfie & ⛪️ — unedited
essay under the cut due to length
Well, to start with, what do either of these terms even mean? We have an explanation of radqueers (and why the community is flawed) here! If the post is too long for you to read, a basis is: They steal terms from others, support transitioning for terms that never supported it in the first place or that are impossible to transition to (i.e. transracial and/or transage) and their community is full of entirely pro-contact beings (people who support paraphiles, all of them, acting on their paraphilias) and groomers whether a "good radqueer" or not.
But then, what's a radinclus? It's a term that's commonly associated with and mixed up with the term radqueer. Radinclus is short for "radically inclusive," the term generally means one is in support of identities like gaybians, lesboys & veldigirls/turigirls and mspec monos (pan lesbians, bi gays, etc.) All of these terms are known as "contradictory" and/or good faith terms.
So, what's the difference? Radqueers have outright stolen terms and are misusing them, whether using the terms in good faith or because they think it's "cute" or "fun" in some way, they're still being misused and causing harm. These terms belonged to different groups that weren't necessarily queer, but are being taken to mean something they never meant in the first place. Terms that those who are radinclus support have history in queer culture and have existed long before radqueers ever decided to appropriate other groups' terms.
The terms lesboy and veldigirl/turigirl are typically used by systems, those who are multigender or those who are trans and still feel a queer attraction towards women or men. These terms were never meant to be used by solely cisgender heterosexual men or solely cisgender heterosexual women. To say that multigender people who may identify as a man and a woman don't belong in either gay nor lesbian communities IS discrimination. You can be a minority and a marginalized group and discriminate against other marginalized groups, excluding multigender people from these spaces is discrimination. By letting them into your spaces, no, we aren't forcing you to date them. But acknowledge that they exist — acknowledge that gender is different for everyone and because of that, so is sexuality.
For those who are trans and still feel a queer attraction towards the opposite gender, that is entirely valid! The NWLNW (Non-Women Loving Non-Women) and NMLNM (Non-Men Loving Non-Men) terms were historically used by TERFs to discriminate against trans men and women and imply that they were not 'actual men' or 'actual women'. Alternative terms to NWLNW and NMLNM are QLM & QLW (Queer Loving Men and Queer Loving Women). A cisgender heterosexual man would never understand the queer attraction that a trans man might feel towards women, nor would a cisgender heterosexual woman be able to understand the queer attraction towards men that a trans woman may hold. And no, a trans man using the term lesbian or a trans woman using the term gay isn't misgendering themselves — if one label fits them more than another & they're using it in good faith, let them!
Now, what's a 'gaybian'? Or a 'lesgay'? Or a 'straightbian'!? Someone who identifies as both gay & a lesbian (or straight and a lesbian, but we'll be focusing on what a gaybian because the same explanation can be used for other variations). You might be thinking now, well if the definition for lesbian and gay are queer loving men and queer loving women, how can you experience queer attraction to both if you're not both genders? Well, for one, most people who are gaybian are multigender — the way they view their attraction to both genders may be different because of that. They may view themself as both a gay man and a lesbian woman, and that's perfectly valid! If you believe that one or both of their identities as such are invalid or that they need to make their own community, that just means you have internalized biases against multigendered people. Others who may use this term are systems due to the varying genders and orientations between the alters.
Finally, mspec monos, also known as mspec gays or lesbians. Firstly, what does 'mspec' mean? Mspec is short for multispec, which is the umbrella term for identities in which one is attracted to multiple genders — i.e. pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual, etc. How can one be both multispec and lesbian? The most common explanation are those who use SAM, the split-attraction model. Many use the argument that SAM was made for aspecs by aspecs, and therefore mspecs cannot use it, but the first example of the SAM was in 1879 by Karl Heinrich Ulrich who used the example of heteroromantic homosexual in his writings. While romantic and sexual attraction may not be as separate and more intertwined for others, that isn't the case for everyone. Not everyone has to use the split attraction model, but it does work for those who's sexuality and romantic orientations are aimed towards separate genders.
Some people just ARE multispec and gay/lesbian — not understanding an identity isn't an excuse to shit on or discriminate against it. That's not to say blindly accept it, but there is proof and recorded history of these identities existing in the queer community for years. You cannot brush them off as "just a new fad" or "trend" when they've existed since before you did. Most radqueers support harmful beliefs and encourage them, radinclus is the inclusion of identities that have always been apart of our community — but have been thrown to the side for more 'easy to understand' ones. Whether you think they're 'the reason people aren't willing to understand' or not, don't fight against people who're in the same community fighting the same fight as you. There will be people who will hate you whether you're the most 'normal', 'straight-person-looking' lesbian ever or the people that you hate in your own community — the only difference is that when they're driving YOU out, there'll be no one left to help you.
Other Good Faith Identity Resources : Lesboys Carrd , Good Faith Resources Hub , Bi Gay / Lesbian Masterdoc
#➜ talking.#➜ resources.#➜ archived — anti radqueer.#anti rq#anti radqueer#anti prat#anti 🍓🌈#anti radshit#anti radpara#radinclus#radinclu#rad inclus#( 🦴🎀 )
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Presenting, Enderqueer
[Image ID: 2 6-striped flags. They are the same flag, but the one on the left has an end portal overlay, which makes it darker with lighter rectangular speckles. Colors on the right's, in descending order, are: pink; light purple; dark purple; black; dark teal-blue; slightly dark sea green. The right has darkened versions of these same colors. End ID.]
My own blankqueer label. I've been wanting to make one for a while. Name and flag based on the End dimension from Minecraft.
Core principles of Enderqueer:
The core principles of Enderqueer are as follows
The right to self identification with little restrictions and rules.
Inclusion of non-harmful identities in the communities they say they belong to.
Respecting the identities of people even if you do not understand.
Giving everyone a chance to explain their identity before deeming it harmful; as well as respecting someone's choice to not explain and assuming good faith rather than passing judgement.
Putting experiences over definitions; allowing all labels to have outliers if they're comfortable with the label even when it doesn't fit them perfectly.
Queer liberation and the advancements of our rights.
Destroying heteronormativity, cisnormativity, exorsexism, intersexism, allonormativity, amatonormativity, and mononormativity (all 3 meanings of mono: monosexuality, monogenderism, and monogamy).
Enderqueer beliefs:
On identity, enderqueer believes the following
Most forms of self identification are valid, however anything that is identified with for harmful reasons (such as transphobia, biphobia/multiphobia, homophobia, ableism, racism, etc.) or things that are harmful regardless of reason (such as transabled, transrace for non-adoptees, transnazi, shit like that), are not valid.
It is okay to ask questions about identities you don't understand or think are harmful before fully accepting them without question. However, if a person doesn't want to answer, that is their right, and it doesn't give you the right to argue against or hate their identity. Assume good faith and maybe ask others who have similar identities.
Identity is complicated and every label, regardless of definition, can and will have outliers, and this is not a problem
Experiences and personal comforts are more important than definitions
All mspec identities are valid and are not biphobic
All aspecs are queer unless the aspec person in particular says they aren't.
All Polyamory, ambiamory, and other nonmonogamy is queer unless the polyam/non-monogam person in particular says they are not queer.
Redundant terms are okay
Multigendered and genderfluid people are "really" their genders. The existence of their other genders or the temporary nature of their genders don't make them less real
On paraphilias, enderqueer believes the following
Paraphilias are morally neutral. Paraphiles who's paraphilias are nonconsensual or harmful to themselves or others deserve support and recovery, and paraphiles who's paraphilias are not harmful should be allowed to act on it. Paraphilias that can either be harmful or not harmful should only be practiced in a safe and ethical way.
On flag discourse, enderqueer believes the following
Flags should not be gatekept from certain groups unless they are specific to one identity or one group of identities. people can decide to use your flags based on your beliefs.
Controversial original flags can be used regardless of if you agree with the creators, but replacement flags should not be used by people who don't agree with the sentiments behind the cancellation. Racist transphobes should not use the orange and pink lesbian flag. Mspec lesbians and supporters should not use the new pan or aroace flags. This is because the new flags have a goal: punish the original creator for a belief by replacing their work. Using replacement flags is accomplishing that goal, and if you agree with the original creator, you shouldn't punish them.
Multioriented and abrosexual people are "really" their orientations. The existence of their other orientations or the temporary nature of their orientations don't make them less real
Other things enderqueer believes the following
Queer labels should not concern themselves with non-queer issues, as that is a different part of one's identity. Making queer labels that concern themselves with non-queer issues excludes the people who are either uneducated on the topic or have no business voicing the opinion because they are not a part of the community or even adjacent.
Gender is real. Social constructs are powerful things that can cause real and observable phenomenon in the brain, and gender being real doesn't invalidate any funky gender identity
Gender Abolition is transphobic. Gender is the identity, and taking away gender leaves nothing but biological sex which may still allow binary trans people to exist if they experience dysphoria but will definitely erase all nondysphoric and nonbinary people.
Transmisogyny and transmisandry are real
POC queers are an unremovable and important part of the queer community
What does enderqueer explicitly support?
Enderqueer supports the following identities, actions, or forms of identification:
Unlabeled identities
People who use few labels for themselves
Termcollectors and labelhoarders
All aspecs, including loveless aros, any sex stance for aces, romance stance for aros, friendship stance for apls, etc, and atertiaries
Anti-contact, pro-recovery paraphiles who's paraphilias are harmful to themselves or others
Paraphiles who's paraphilias are not harmful to themselves or others
Paraphiles who's paraphilias can be harmful or can be safe who only act on them in a way that is safe and ethical
Mspec monos
Mspec gays, veldians, lesbians, cenelians, enbians, straights, etc who do not consider themselves monos
Straightbians, straight gays, straight veldians, gaybians/velaurians, and other labels often used by multigender people
Lesboys, turigirls, ceneliboys and ceneligirls, enbiboys and enbigirls, trixiboys and trixigirls, and toriboys and torigirls
Any other form of "contradictory" labels
Aspec and non-aspec SAM
Xenogenders
Xenidens, or xenoids used in reclamation
Allion orientations
Gender nonconformity, including pronoun nonconformity
Neurolabels, when used by people who have those conditions
Reclamation of slurs and derogatory terms, even when used as an identity
Transracial adoptees
Transspecies therians
Transage chronosian or transage age regressors
What does enderqueer explicitly denounce?
Enderqueer denounces the following identities, actions, or forms of identification:
Radqueers
Winterqueers or Winterpunks
Transidentities that are not transgender, transrace adoptees, therian transspecies, or chronosian/agere transage
Pro-contact harmful paraphilias or neu-contact harmful paraphilias. This also applies to unethical or unsafe ways of acting on a paraphilia that can be done in a safe, ethical way
Comp-contact for paraphilias that can never be safe or ethical in practice
Anti-recovery for ANY paraphilias. Nonharmful paraphiles may choose to recover anyway
Anti-contact for paraphilias that are never dangerous or unethical
Radical feminists
Not recognizing attraction to elsegender people as being just as real and valid as attraction to aptobinary people. This includes calling all exclusive lesbians monosexual, saying all sexualities inherently include elsegender people, thinking enbians are choosing to date nonbinary people or cenelians are choosing not to date aptobinary people, rather than recognizing that they are attracted to other elsegender people, potentially exclusively, or calling WLN and MLN labels transphobic or enbyphobic
Bad faith labels such as superstraight, quasihomosexual, animesexual (though animesexual can be reclaimed by fictosexuals), and others made to mock queerness or justify bigotry
What is enderqueer neutral on, or what does enderqueer not believe needs to be part of a blankqueer label?
Enderqueer is stanceless on the following:
Syscourse
Shipcourse
Self diagnosis
Furries
Alterhumanity (OP supports and it's close to queer discourse but ultimately I decided it was far enough removed that it didn't need to be included)
Engaging with problematic media and/or creators
Kink at pride (I know this one is super relevant but I don't have any strong opinions and the ones I do have are very mixed)
Enderqueers may have no opinion on the above issues, or a stance that they do not believe is important to a blankqueer label. Or they may just agree with everything else included under enderqueer and choose to use it.
#blankqueer#queer label#label coining#queer stance#pro mogai#pro mspec gay#pro mspec lesbian#pro mspec#anti radqueer#anti winterpunk#anti winterqueer#pro para#anti contact#enderqueer
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do u know of an inclus definition of lesbian ?
im a bit confused? lesbian can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people. for some people it means exclusive wlw, for some people means exclusive wlw/nlw, for some people it can mean being mspec but having a preference for women, for some people it can mean being someone who is not a man who is only attracted to people who aren’t men, no definition that people use for themselves is inherently more or less exclusionist because how you describe yourself is your own business, things become exclusionist when you try to take your experience and say it’s the only correct one.
an mspec lesboy (me) who says that lesbianism always has to include being mspec or male, is no less exclusionist than a mono cis lesbian who says bi ppl and men can’t be lesbian, because the inherent quality of queerness is that it is multifaceted. definitions themselves are not exclusionist, not until you try to make them a universal descriptor. use the term “lesbian” in whatever way it feels right for you, just don’t try to force any definition on someone else who identifies differently :)
#🌌written in the stars ; asks 🌌#queer discourse#tw discourse#discourse tw#lesbian discourse#lesbian#bi lesbian#lesboy#bi lesboy
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Why am I Radqueer unaligned?
I believe that Radqueers, and the community itself, has good and harmful aspects. Harmful aspects include being misusing the term transracial, misusing the term transspecies, creating terms that corroborate being harmful, supporting non-consensual relationships (not to be confused with nccnc/cnc relationships), and more. However, the other aspects, such as being pro-recovery, pro-paraphilia, queer acceptance, plural acceptance, (mostly) anti-harassment, and there are some other transidentity terms that genuinely don't do any harm (such as transcat, literally does nothing). I interact with radqueers and anti-radqueers alike.
Why am I pro-ship unaligned/apathetic?
It's mainly an online thing honestly. Yes, there are some parts that can absolutely a/effect others, but overall there's not much going on with that community. I interact with anti proshippers and proshippers alike.
Why am I pro mspec mono, pro lesboy, pro turigirl?
It's called: go read historical pieces of media. Listen to other queers.
Why am I pro endogenic/mix origins systems?
Nothing is definite, things changed, psychology is ever evolving, and you can truly never prove something to be true or legitimate.
Why do I believe that paraphilias aren't inherently queer?
This is because I believe some people attach paraphilias to the queer community because paraphilias don't have their own. Which is why I made this blog to begin with. Creating our own community allows us to create and adapt to resources, educational pieces of media, information, awareness, and possible recovery towards those with paraphilias. I do believe being queer and having a paraphilia can intersect.
Why am I pro IRLs, D/As, KFF, alterhumans, and choicekin?
It's called leaving people the fuck alone and let them have fun in ways that are safe for them to do so.
Why do I believe that if you have the, 'big three' on your DNI (Do Not Interact) means you're ableist IF you JUST deem them as bad?
Simply put: they're disordered paraphilias that are in the DSM-5, and if you're against, stigmatize, or have no reason to not want these paraphiles to interact, that's ableist. Simple as that.
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All sexualities have always included nb people. There doesn't need to be a modifier put on it to be inclusive- it's already inclusive
You can say that all you want but it doesn't make us actually more included in the well known definitions for these labels 👍
Lesbian = wlw doesn't include nonbinary people who aren't women.
Lesbian = non men loving non men doesn't include multigender, genderfluid, and many other nonbinary people
Same for gay with mlm & non women loving non women
And either way... attraction to more than 1 gender is still mspec. Saying nonbinary people are included in all sexualities, including non mspec sexualities, is transphobic because it implies our genders aren't real genders. Mono sexualities do also exist. And attraction to nonbinary genders + men or women is inherently mspec because our genders are an actual separate gender. Saying people who are attracted to nonbinary people who aren't aligned with one of the 2 binary genders can't or shouldn't label as mspec because their sexuality that isn't inherently mspec is "already inclusive enough" harms us and erases our identities as nonbinary people.
Maybe try listening to nonbinary people instead of insisting we where already included. And let people have their labels that explicitly include all nonbinary people instead of just some of us.
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would you mind explaining why you arent a battleaxe bi anymore? /gen
i just think exclusionists are unnecessarily mean and wasting their time building up all of that anger. i think we have bigger things to focus on. at the end of the day, pansexuals aren't hurting bisexuals as much as the power of the real world is.
i'm still critical of pansexuality's origins and the community's behavior sometimes, but like... it's unfair to make that judgement towards every individual.
it's not even just being anti-pan, really. i'm moving away from exclusionism as a whole. i'm finding my true identity and pride in labels that are frowned upon in such communities (i.e. aspec stuff). i'm also studying all perspectives and realizing that, actually, the more and more inclusive you go, the better argument you have, and my personal philosophy is that it's rooted in letting go of anger you don't need to have. i understand why exclusionists are angry, but i think they're misdirecting said anger towards their own kind and not our oppressors. yes queer is a slur, but it's definitely more widely-reclaimed than not and you can use it regularly while also respecting individual boundaries and knowing when to avoid using it in their personal spaces.
if i'm going to run a blog mostly focusing on bi+ topics, then it's only right to include all labels under the bi umbrella. after all, i totally agree with people who use multiple mspec labels at once, as if they function as more specific descriptors for their preferences (i.e. bi/pan, bi/omni, bi/poly - i myself am feeling a newfound connection to bi/omni). every book you'll read studying mspec sexuality includes these subcommunities and welcomes them with open arms. maybe some of these people do have internalized biphobia, but if they have a community that is technically the same thing identity-wise, so what?
and speaking of books, i think material reality and its physical sources of written history speak louder than random 14yo's carrds online. the books that promote bi revolutions? they're anti-lesbian-separatism. the more i look into it, the more i think it's harmful to bi women and realize nothing would have changed, positively or negatively, if it had never happened. radfems never would have had the power they do, lesbians would be much more accepting of mspec wlw participating in their own rightful culture, and pretty much all of this "lesbians vs. bi women" discourse wouldn't exist present-day. "lesbian" used to belong to us, and it was never supposed to be taken away from us in the first place. if there is no harm in bisexuality and other mspec communities existing in harmony, then there is no harm in mono and mspec lesbians existing in harmony, exactly as they did once before. lesbophobic invasive men are gonna be lesbophobic regardless of the label. i was actually reading a carrd last night that made a great argument, about how chronically-online lesbians always push for mspec lesbians to create their own label, when it should be the former who does so. lesbian was inclusive before it was exclusive and it was never supposed to be exclusive at any point in time. if lesbians can accept that bi women have a rightful access to butch/femme & dyke, then they should be able to understand where i'm getting. you can't take something from someone and then claim it was never theirs. it's literally immoral theft. so yeah, in case it wasn't obvious yet, i'm starting to lean radinclus to the point where i understand and find community with lesbianism. it just makes more and more sense as you delve deeper and deeper into what all sapphics have in common, as opposed to how we think of each other currently.
^^ i'm really scared to post that. i'm afraid of harassment before questions, but i promise you i have done so much more research on the topic than exclusionists have and could debunk pretty much any argument you (respectfully) throw my way. i'm afraid of getting called a lesbophobe by people who don't want to think differently and understand that the idea is different than what they imagine it is. if you must unfollow me then go ahead, but there is a reason i'm keeping this on the down-low. just because i'm confident enough that i'm right doesn't mean i'm confident others will be reasonable. but, there ya go, i've officially said it now. if anything, i really only plan on mentioning it on this blog (as opposed to the main purpose of @tribadeism as a sideblog of mine) for emphasizing posts regarding the history and/or relatability of sapphics, but i guess we'll see.
so, i used to be exclus-leaning, but i no longer am. i am now pro-mspec, pro-aspec, accept aces/aros who say they're queer, and am learning about and starting to lean towards radical inclusionism (with some critical thought to remain naturally, of course, don't worry - the lack of that ruins the credibility of any stance imo).
#chase answers#lgbt discourse#ex exclus#exclus mention#radfem mention#anti radfem#radinclus#radical inclusionist#inclus#inclusionist
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Everytime the queer community gets a little bit bigger or better, we all make the mistake of labeling others. This puts us back years and on the side of those who dislike us.
Think about it. The trans community, at large, finally getting space to talk about our issues and most of the community understanding the variety of experiences only for us to be hit with people inside and outside of our community labeling us. But you know, at least it's worth progressive labels and these people seem to be excepting /sarcasm.
This has nothing to do with the actual usefulness of these words, but the way they have been ransacked to label others because humans gonna arbitrarily push others into boxes based on their liking and understanding of them, forgoing autonomy and respectfulness -- which I think stems from the feeling of being out of control, but that doesn't justify the behavior. So now we have assholes, using other's AGABs (assigned gender at birth) as a tool of oppression and silence. And this isn't just from conservatives, though their approach seems largely based in poor, delusional, oppressed AFABs (assigned female at birth) and terrible, scary, oppressive AMABs (assigned male at birth). It's used by us to justify who gets a say, a voice, to demean others, and that's not right.
Another bastardized "progressive" term that's used very similarly is TME and TMA (transmisogyny exempt and affected). As far as I have seen (and feel free to correct me with sources), these specific terms have not been used in helpful ways. That's definitely not to say transmisogyny is not helpful in queet theory and to talk about issues. However, the binarism that has come from the terms TME and TMA are less than helpful in my opinion and are often used to mean either someone's perceived AGAB or "me versus them." What I mean by the second us is when someone disagrees with someone (oddly, I've largely seen it used by people who aren't trans or who would be deemed TMEs) then the person who disagrees is TME.
Easier put, Person A writes something that Person B disagrees with (let's say transandrophobia or lesbianism or basically anything). Person B labels Person A as a TME to discredit their argument or statement with no knowledge on whether or not Person A is TME or TMA.
Hell, you can even see this done with identities. I have seen people who are bi or against bi lesbians as well as those who are lesbians or against bi lesbians create a binary of lesbian or nonlesbian (and bi or non-bi even). Not only is that ridiculous because any community should be allowed to talk about other communities and issues within, but also it hurts everyone. It is not helpful to call a bi lesbian or a bi lesbian supporter a nonlesbian, because you do not get to decide who is a lesbian or not -- nor do you get to create a hierarchy out of lesbian. Bi lesbians are a type of lesbian, no matter if you believe people can be one or not, and guess what! there are lesbians who are mono-attracted (not mspec) who support mspec lesbians (including bi lesbians) and there are mspec people who aren't them that support them, too.
The only thing that using this rhetorical tool does is help separate communities. If everyone who disagrees with you is "not a part of your community," then it's pretty easy to say "listen to our/my/their community" or "no person who is a part of this community believes in or thinks or is *that*."
And let's not forget how these binaries harm anyone not a part of them or not easily deconstructed into one or the other labels. That's definitely something that gets touched on a bit, but never really hashed out. What about those who weren't so easily assigned a sex or gender at birth? What about those who are TMA but not the same way *this type of person is*? What about the lesbians who have attraction to more than one gender but don't identify as bi or mspec lesbians?
If you want to feel more in control, talk to your community as a whole, not just the ones you deem worthy, and stop assigning labels to others because you can or think you can. Lest you be the next person assigned a label without any say and with no care if you are said label.
Please, those who are outside of these binaries of terms feel free to add your input. I don't care if you disagree with any sentiments, I just want to hear from you.
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Updated pinned post
Abt me
I'm Anna but I also go by the names Maci, Hope, Clover, Moonlight, Seven, and Starlight
I'm 18
I use she/they/it pronouns and sometimes he/him
I also run @kincallouts and interact from there, and @annnathegayblogger
An abt me doc with more info is coming soon!
This blog is heavily inspired by mogai headcanons!
My other socials
YouTube: annastarlight
Another YouTube channel: Starlight studios
Jammable: Maci3
Starmaker: AnnaStarlight
Old Starmaker(no longer have access to) : annastarlight
Tier Maker: Anna
Insta: annastarlightnew
Old insta accs: F1lthyn4g1t0k1nn13, thesadgurlbutnotagurl, maci_starlight, ceystop3favships admin 💚, dailykomanami, annabutafb meme acc
Ao3: annathegaywriter
Tellynom: annathegayclown
Pronouny: annathegayclown
Twitter(no longer use): maci_starlight
Tiktok(no longer use): maci5521
Roblox: annastarlight
DNI
I have no set DNI, but my accounts are a safe space for POC, LGBT, palestinians, pronoun non conformity, lesboys/turgirls, mspec mono idenites and otherwise "contradictory" labels, alterhumans and nonhumans, kink partakers, systems(including non traumagenic systems), disabled folk(including paras and personality disorders), researched self dx
Hate to any of my followers might result in a block
I'm also anti contact for paras, generally against transx and think fiction affects reality, feel free to block me if my beliefs break your DNI
Request rules
No labels that positively encourage action on paraphilic disorders(unless it's reclaimed, for example, clovergender)
No labels that encourage pro ed, thinspo or body checking
Anything having to do with proship unless it's a recovering proshipper hc or a label related to it
Transx or transid stuff(unless transrace in the adopted sense, transabled hc specifically requested by someone with BIID, or a chronosian/altage individual reclaiming transage)
I will not allow any label used by exclus(ex. todamoric and sapphomoric)
No hcs of real people
I'll take hcs of the reclaimed definitions of recugender but I'll use this flag instead of the more well known one to avoid people thinking I'm a troll
I also know circumgender has a reclaimed definition but idk if there's an alt flag, if there is tell me and I'll allow requests
No morosexual hcs
I'll allow hcs of the reclaimed definition of sapiosexual but I'll change it to "scisexual" or "cognisexual" and use this flag to avoid anyone thinking I'm abelist and classist
No virosexual hcs
Rabiosexual is changed to "rabies pride" to avoid anyone thinking I'm a troll
None of these ships:
Incest ships, this includes step siblings and adopted family
Any ship between one or two minors with an age gap greater than 2 years(even between 2 minors is pushing it bc there's a big maturity gap between let's say a 13 year old and a 16 year old)
My policy with minor x adult ships: 18 or 19 is still relatively young, so if it's a 16-17 year old x an 18 year old or a 17 year old x a 19 year old I think it's fine bc they're still teenagers.
Overly abusive ships(I'm not nitpicky, if you can take them out of the canon events and circumstances without making them ooc I think it's fine)
Katsuki Bakugo x Izuku Midoriya from BNHA
Steven Universe x gems
Peridot x Lapius from Steven Universe
Kylo x Rey from Star Wars
Enterpa x other princesses, Cartra or Bow from She Ra
Izuru Kamakura x Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa
Misa Amane x Light Yagami from Death Note
Eren Yeager x Mikasa Akerman from Attack On Titan
Eric Cartman ships
Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger from Harry Potter
Valentino ships other than Vox and Velvette(Hazbin Hotel)
Charlie x Alastor from Hazbin Hotel
Angel Dust x Alastor from Hazbin Hotel
Alastor x Nifty from Hazbin Hotel
Alastor x Husk from Hazbin Hotel
Other Alastor ships are fine in a QPR but no romantic relationships
Fizzaroli x Mammoth from Helluva Boss
Bella Swan x Edward Cullen or that werewolf guy
Kelly x Crybaby from K-12
Everything above also goes for my other accounts since I draw ship art, edit ships and write fics for ships. I won't draw, edit or write about the ships above.
#headcanon what you want#my post#advertising#mogai flags#girlblogging#headcanons#lgbt pride#headcanon things#text post#post#mogai term#mogai flag#mogai gender#mogai#flags#this is a girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#lgbt+ community#lgbt+#lgbtq community#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgb alliance#pride#gay pride#youtube#wicked#elphaba thropp#my edit#edit
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for those confused about why contradictory labels are bad, please read this!
terms like lesbian and gay are not to be separated or used hand-in-hand! lesbian means non-men loving non-men and gay means non-women loving non-women.
you cannot be both without invalidating these labels entirely.
same with being a "lesbian man" or a "mlm woman" or an "mspec mono". there are so many reasons why these two can't be related to each other in any way.
and the excuse "but gender and sexuality are fluid and i can't define it any other way!!" is so fucking ignorant and rude. there are so many identities you could use instead of those.
it is incredibly homophobic and idiotic to just ignore the fact that invalidating these labels harms literally every queer person. it spreads misinformation and makes the people who actually fit these labels feel unsafe to use them. you are actively harming the queer community by saying you are something you inherently aren't.
there are so many labels you can use to describe your attraction and gender. even if you can't find one, make one. ignoring your damage will not make you the bigger person or magically make the identity valid.
please educate yourselves on different labels like homosexual biromantic, pansexual homoromantic, etc. there is no harm in needing to educate people in how you identify! it helps others learn and can make it easier for you to understand yourself.
invading closed spaces will definitely be way more destructive than figuring out your true identity.
THIS !!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON , I LITTEARY DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT , THANK YOU SO MUCH AND PUTTING MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS !!!!!
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i intended that last reblog to be humorous, but now i'm Thinking Again.
what is my gender...
i've used the "nonbinary" label for years (around 5 atp) but now i've grown to dislike it
i'm serious when i say that "nonbinary" is starting to be included in a bad way. it's stereotyped. i'm not AFAB with a brightly colored pixie cut who uses all pronouns. i don't lean to one side of the binary, i don't wear converse, i don't listen to emo artists, i don't like cottagecore or frogs, i don't like wearing pride flags, i'm not a label hoarder, and i'm not any of the other things commonly associated with nonbinary people. there's nothing wrong with people like that, i'm just tired of being lumped in with them.
i hate being called a boy/girl/man/woman. i'm definitely not an "enby". unpopular opinion, but i don't want to be included in monospec binary-focused attraction (eg gay/lesbian/straight). i know that "gay" (etc) can include nonbinary people (and i'm absolutely a supporter of mspec monos), but if putting me together with binary people (cis or trans) is "inclusion", then i'd rather be an outcast. (<- kind of irrelevant i just needed to say that tbh)
i hate all three of the "normal" pronouns, especially they/them. i don't mind it/its, but it doesn't feel "me" and i've never had someone IRL use them in a respectful way. even the neopronouns i've been trying haven't fit. i wish i could use no pronouns full time, whether online or IRL. (better yet i wish people wouldn't talk about me.) not to mention the difficulty with names...
there's nothing normal about me. i'm weird. i'm abnormal. i'm disordered. i'm fucked up, honestly. i don't fit in, and i don't want to. i'm queer! i'm proud of that! but to me, there's no such thing as a "queer community" when we're all reducing each other to stereotypes.
i don't want to be unlabelled. i've coined two xenogenders (one of which i don't even relate to anymore), but i don't feel "complete". it's very much an "identify with" vs "identify as" situation. i identify with this label, but i want something i identify as.
i reject man, woman, and nonbinary. gender might be a spectrum, but it's not a gradient from man to nonbinary to woman. my gender and i aren't even on that plane of existence, if you get what i mean.
"nonbinary" is supposed to be a freeing label, but lately i feel like it only restricts me, and i don't know where else to turn to.
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heyey dw abt dykepridee
everything theyve sent was in assuming bad faith and theyre not worth arguing with. they're just trying to stir up discourse to feel superior about themselves
dont worry, dont waste your energy, Im sorry theyre bothering you. they came up to me and 2 other people as well, assumed I romanticised stalking with 0 proof past the gender itself, called faunic attraction 'no-dick attraction' which is super insensitive, and reblogged someone else assuming a term related to sleepiness must be romanticising... narcolepsy, out of every other possible sleep disorder?
I have no idea how someone is okay with being a pan lesbian while they constantly assume bad faith about identities theyre unfamiliar with, aka you know, the same thing people are doing to mspec lesbians.
@kirugorture
Thank you. I don't get why someone, especially someone who is nonbinary, sees a post that essentially boils down to "nonbinary people are not men or women and they shouldn't be misgendered by people calling themselves monosexual because apparently being attracted to nonbinary genders 'doesn't count' as mspec because they're not one of the 'REAL genders' and people who are attracted to women and enby genders only can call themselves mspec lesbians or just lesbians but by calling themselves mono they are saying those nb people are just women" and has an issue with it.
Also good to know about faunic, because I literally... Am faunic?? It's not "no-dick attraction" it's being attracted to people who are not men, and I'm actually favorable to dating non-op trans women and AMAB enbies. I'm a non-man and I'm attracted to non-men and I'm allowed to have a label to describe that. If it's a bad definition for lesbian then fine now it isn't for lesbian it's for faunic/daunic. Not being attracted to men, and wanting a label for that... Isn't wrong? At all?
(also genital preferences are valid so L + Ratio dykepridee people are allowed to not like dick or not like pussy and that's FINE.)
I don't think they even understand what I was saying. I wasn't excluding nb-attracted lesbians from being lesbians, or even exclusive lesbians. I am one! I call myself an exclusive lesbian all the time. It's just not mono. It will never be mono to be attracted to women AND to people who are not women!! Yet exclusionists constantly define themselves as mono even though they include nb folk, which is misgendering them, and my post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people that these lesbians partake in, even some being nonbinary themselves, because otherwise they'd have to acknowledge that mspec lesbians make sense and are valid
In short: my whole purpose in writing the post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people within the (exclus) lesbian community for the purpose of pretending lesbian is a strictly monosexual label. People never talk about it and it needs to be talked about.
Their "counterpoint" that no one cares in real life is so... Bad. It missed the point, it was pretty clear they had entirely missed the point, and also, "no one in real life cares" is a stupid counterargument in any "debate." For one, I exist outside of tumblr and I care. For two, I don't care what happens at pride parades. Misgendering nonbinary people (who do not identify as women at all) is not okay, no matter how much people at a parade care about strangers. If you can't actually prove why I'm wrong, your point is null and void.
Also "I'm almost 30, my back hurts, and I just woke up" bitch nobody gives a fuck about your back hurting, it's clearly too early for you to use your brain, and you're a whole grown adult arguing with a child online. That's real mature.
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hi! i’ve recently discovered ur blog and i’m. Very grateful for it. just reading some of ur posts has made me feel so much more comfortable in my identity and so reassured to see that there are people who will accept and support it.
i’ve come to terms w the fact that i like the label mspec (omni) lesbian for myself. it’s been difficult to process and accept bc of the sheer amount of hatred towards mspec mono ppl i’ve seen & bc gender and attraction (or lack thereof) is just. Very complicated and hard to figure out.
i’m still trying to understand myself and it’s a frustrating journey, but hopefully things will become clearer soon.
i guess i can understand people’s initial confusion towards labels that seem contradictory, but it starts getting weird when they start spewing negativity towards them and ppl who identify with them. like. idk? i’ve definitely been a little confused abt some labels but i read more abt them, listened to ppl who explained them, and i was like “oh! okay! that makes sense and that’s super cool.”
what i didn’t do was start publicly complaining on a day-to-day basis on my twitter account about how my identity is being invalidated bc of someone else’s and harass flag creators and ppl who use or support those labels????
at this point i don’t think most of these ppl are actively trying or wanting to learn. they’re just. not listening and can’t understand that ppl’s minds don’t work like their own. i also think a lot of them just see ppl saying “mspec lesbians bad” and then they rush to put “mspec lesbians dni” on their carrd without reading up on it 😭
so yeah thank u so much for being so openly supportive and inclusive!! and to all ppl out there who use labels that others find weird: u are super cool and u have a better inner understanding of ur own identity than anybody else ever could. take care <3
hi! i'm glad you like the blog and that it's been helpful! i'm happy that you've figured out and accepted your identity, but i'm sorry people being awful and queerphobic have made it a more difficult thing than it had to be. i hope your journey to better understanding yourself is smooth sailing from here (or at least without any external factors making it harder).
i definitely agree that those people are actively against learning and being inclusive and supportive. there's so much information out there, and a lot of it has been sent directly to them and they just don't care. they're actively choosing ignorance and hate. and people like that aren't worth the time and energy, ya know?
"u have a better inner understanding of ur own identity than anybody else ever could" 👏👏👏👏👏
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People don't focus on "mspec gays" because gay is an umbrella term. I'm not calling myself a "mono lesbian" just because randoms on tumblr think lesbians can be attracted to men.
Gay is also an orientation, I was talking about the orientation, not the umbrella term.
Also cool, no one cares. Please get off my account if you want to be an ass about mspec lesbians & lesboys. I definitely don't want that near me, especially since I'm multigender & genderfluid myself and am very close to several people who are mspec lesbians although I myself am a mono lesbian. I don't want people who want to kick me or any of them out of the community near me.
Also, btw, not all mspec lesbians are attracted to men. Mspec just means attracted to more than one gender. Nonbinary genders exist.
Anyways please go out and talk to lgbtq people irl I promise you none of this shitty discourse matters in the real world nearly as much. No one in irl lgbtq spaces I've been in give a single fuck who uses what label. I've seen girls who where mspec and labeled as lesbian and no one batted an eye. Very few people irl actually care about this shit.
#ask#asks#mspec lesbian discourse#mspec gay discourse#pro mspec lesbian#pro mspec gay#lesbian discourse#gay discourse#lgbtq discourse
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Disclaimer: I am not a lesbian. Please tell me if I’ve said anything lesbophobic.
I’ve noticed how a lot of cis lesbians will talk about how they have to fight to be able to label themselves properly and people are constantly trying to steal their terms and what have you, and they’ll frame this as a struggle unique to lesbians. But what they seem to forget is that gay men and trans people have also had to fight not to be called slurs or medicalized, pathologizing terminology. Or that mspec people are constantly erased and have our labels misdefined and misrepresented.
And I feel like the general attitude of gatekeep-y-ness within cis lesbian circles — the attitude that only specific people with specific experiences are “allowed” to identify as lesbians/butches/femmes/etc. because they’ve had to fight so hard for their own terms — is largely left over from the influence of TERFs. Exactly how much harder (than everyone else in the community) have they had to fight that their labels must be guarded so strictly?
Now, I will be the first to say that comparing every person you don’t like to a TERF is transmisogynistic; trans women’s suffering should not be used as a measuring tool for how bad someone is. This is not an invitation to start using the term “BLERF” or call anyone who tries to invalidate nonb/mspec/ace lesbians a TERF. REGs are bad regardless of how “TERF-adjacent” they are.
But when I look at this overall trend of “preserving the purity of the lesbian label,” I can’t help but be reminded that that is exactly how TERFs talk about trans women (“preserving” lesbianism, “preserving” womanhood); and I can’t help but wonder where exactly it comes from.
I feel like the idea, that this term specifically has to be “protected from outsiders,” is the legacy that TERFs have left behind within cis lesbian communities and activism. I’ve seen a lot of cis lesbians calling out transmisogyny within transmasc and TME nonbinary communities, but I never see cis lesbians talk about the transmisogyny within their own communities. I see so many cis lesbians rebut accusations of transmisogyny with “How can the lesbian community be hostile to trans women when trans lesbians exist?” As if even the trans community isn’t hostile to us.
And I think this is just another facet of the overall goal that TERFs imprinted onto cis lesbian activism: “Continually narrow down the definition of lesbian and draw strict lines in the sand between us and the rest of the LGBT+ community.” Whether it’s “woman exclusively attracted to other women,” “binary woman exclusively attracted to other binary women,” or “cis woman exclusively attracted to other cis women,” it all comes from the same historical desire to exclude trans lesbians and their allies.
And I don’t think every cis lesbian who excludes nonbinary/mspec/aspec lesbians knows that it’s rooted in transmisogyny. But what other goal is being accomplished by distancing the lesbian community so much from other LGBTQ+ people? Why are they so afraid of (or disgusted by) even the thought of other people using a term that they feel describes their experiences in a different way? Why do they think they have the right to define other lesbians out of existence? It’s the skeleton of transmisogynistic rhetoric left over from when TERFs dominated the discourse (and which TERFs still widely work to uphold) that has thoroughly permeated lesbian-centric activism. It’s the attitude of lesbian separatism without any clear purpose or direction.
The only term I know of which is policed in a way at all similarly is “transfem,” and that’s only because many transfems feel it should only be claimable by those who are affected by transmisogyny (with the exception of transfem alters in TME systems). Transfem “separatism” and the desire for terminology specific to us comes from the fact that all TMEs oppress us; we need the language to talk about ourselves (as the transmisogyny-affected class) and about our oppressors. But binary/mono/allo/cis lesbian separatism (from other wlw) doesn’t come from that same need, as nonb/mspec/aspec/trans wlw (obviously) don’t oppress them. If anything, it comes from the desire to not recognize the struggles which other wlw deal with, whether that be exorsexism, monosexism, aphobia, or transmisogyny.
I am not a lesbian, so it’s not my place to tell people what it “really” means to be a lesbian. But it’s not my place to tell self-identified lesbians that they’re wrong about their identities either. No one gets to decide someone else’s identity for them.
(Btw, if you’re a TME nonb/mspec/aspec lesbian, feel free to share about your experiences with exclusionism, but please don’t mistake this for me saying that you’re transmisogyny-affected, that you have a place to speak about transmisogynistic oppression, or that exclusionists are the same as TERFs.)
#discourse cw#Idk what to tag this#This has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time#I don’t want it to become a discourse post but it probably will#Honestly just don’t reply if you’re TME and not a lesbian#long post
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Is aliqius an a-spec and m-spec identity all at once? Or is it neither? I'm aliquis and not sure where I fall
You mean aliquis-? If so, what I can tell this is surely amative. If you use it interchangeably with demipan- yes, but according to the definition “liking someone or, being attracted to someone for who they are/their personality”, it’s not inherently aspec nor mspec, then if you contrast “their personality/who they” as a circumstance of your attraction, it’s a-spec.
And personally, attraction regardless of gender (as in pan-), could be either mono- &/or multi-spec tbh, because imagine that you were attracted to only one person in life, this person is suptilian monogender, that COULD be kind of mono- (still pan-), even if with multiple people of the same gender. But that would be an identity behaviorist point of view.
It’s always up to you to determine it for yourself.
#anonymous#aliquissexual#aliquisexual#aliquisromantic#aliquiromantic#aliqiusexual#aliqiussexual#aliqiusromantic#aspec#mspec#m-spec#a-spec#multi- spec#multisexual#multi spectrum#multispec
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