#lateral aggression
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Until all the radfem ideology and gender essentialism is gone, I will forever feel unsafe in the trans community as a trans man.
To any trans men who also feel unsafe: I love you. It will get better. People who bully trans men will one day be shunned, trust me. Keep going. You are amazing and wonderful. For every trans person that bullies and harasses transmascs, there are 10 more that love and support us.
#max squawks#transandrophobia#anti radfem#anti radical feminism#anti gc#anti tirf#anti terf#gender essentialism#bioessentialism#transmasc positivity#transmasc#trans man#trans masc#trans male#lateral aggression
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The post that was screenshot: [Link]
This post with the reply by catgirlforeskin: [Link]
A convenient post that I wrote going into it about my gender yesterday: [Link]
obviously I would suggest reading the original post, as it has context for what was being said in those screenshots.
ahem
So Like, We Just Hate People Who Aren't Binary Huh?
We See Someone Come Out About Being Genderqueer And Talk About Their Own Presentation And Sense Of Self On Their Own Post And It's Immediately Responded To With "You're Fetishizing Trans Women By Thinking That You Have Anything In Common With Them."
let's review !
1: I made a Vent Post where I responded to a Cis Person, I made my own post and crossed out their username because I didn't feel like they did anything Wrong, but I wanted to discuss my feelings on it anyways!
2: these feelings were that it's upsetting that people don't seem to think about the trans perspective when discussing gender Stuff, or how marginalization in general plays a factor when discussing representation in media.
3: within Two Notes I got someone crawling into my replies and dms to talk down to me for being trans masc, so I expressed frustration that That's something that happens to me.
4: THEN somebody responded to That to insist that me expressing frustration about people lashing out at marginalized men was harmful to trans women.
you'll notice ! I was a trans person speaking about my own feelings on my own post, responding to a cis person and someone who explicitly harassed me. I did not mention trans women in this post, because it was a vent post. I explicitly say in my response to that post different kinds of trans people venting about their experiences does not imply or take anything away from other sorts of trans people.
so ! what we're left with is !
1: people being Furiously Angry that I would say that all trans people are capable of being hurt and that all trans people deserve to speak about their feelings, enough to rip things out of context and lie
2: People Just Unironically Saying With Their Entire Chest That A Trans Person Who Considers Themselves Both Masculine And Feminine Is Transmisogynistic, Because Being Genderqueer Implies That You Don't See Trans Women As Real Women. Somehow.
so like. where do we go from here huh.
firstly, there's an awareness. I need people to be Aware that this is something that is happening. that we've reached a point where people hate trans mascs so much that they're willing to tear them down for talking about Their Feelings in response to Cis People.
that we've reached a point where people get so blindly Angry when someone suggests that trans people should all be treated with dignity and respect that they're willing to act like this.
I Need people to share things like this, even if it's not this post specifically. because I Need People To Understand the kind of vitriol and hatred that trans mascs are facing simply for being visible At All.
if people aren't aware then they Will end up supporting and spreading this kind of harassment without realizing.
#long post#discourse#transphobia#exorsexism#transandrophobia#trans unity#lateral aggression#exclusionism#this behavior really is identical to exclusionism at this point#unironically my crime was being a trans person and speaking about my feelings#that's what got everybody so mad#and they think that isn't transphobia because they've decided that the Kind of trans person I am is bad#and if I'm not binary in a way that makes it easy to hate me for being that kind of trans person?#then Yes I Am and I'm bigoted for saying otherwise#getting sick of going out of my way to show compassion and understanding to other people only to have them harass me#for the crime of wanting to be treated with dignity in return
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If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, sorry. Now you have to learn.
It's a transphobic, victim-blaming mess from the bottom to the top. What's depressing is the number of prominent trans people who seem to think "ah yes, if only the Bad Trans would be quiet, then the cis would stop trying to genocide us! We could fix it, if only the Bad Trans would Go Away!"
No. These laws aren't coming into play because of non-binary people, no matter their genital configuration or desire to medically transition. They are coming into play because cishet society is threatened by us and hates us.
Do I need to say it again? Respectability and lateral aggression will not save you.
#transphobia#lateral aggression#exorsexism#transandromisia#transandrophobia#sorry#I'm not typing out that whole screed#I'm just not
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One thing I've noticed and heard several times now from multiple people is that... both trans men and trans women have numerous experiences feeling erased, spoken over, and ridiculed by the other side.
Trans men have felt this from trans women, trans women have felt it from trans men.
Maybe... the solution here... is to not talk over other people.
If a trans man is talking about his experiences with oppression, do not speak over him. You do not know his experiences better than he does. If he says he experiences X, believe him.
If a trans woman is speaking about her experiences with oppression, do not speak over her. You do not know her experiences better than she does. If she says she experiences X, believe her.
Both sides need to stop doing talking over each other. It is lateral aggression and it needs to stop.
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"Trans men/transmascs aren't hated for being men/masculine we're/they're only hated for being trans"
Tell that to literally any trans man, or even transmasc individual, who has lost numerous friends during their transition because they became "too much of a man/too masculine".
Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been asked and berrated with questions and comments such as "why would you EVER want/choose to be a man" "how could you do this to us?" "Well as long as you don't act like/become too much of a man." "You're not going on T, though, are you?" and plenty more
Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who has been pushed out of entire support groups and communities, even if they have been there for YEARS, because they're no longer a woman
Tell that to any trans man or transmasc who have been labeled as a traitor to women and woman/sisterhood for being a man/masculine
Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed dangerous and thus shunned, threatened, or even assaulted all because they're men now "and they should expect and accept it"
To the trans men and transmascs who have been assaulted in ways to try and "fix us" and turn us "back into women/lesbians"
Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who are labeled as the killers of parents sweet precious cis daughters or stealer of irreplaceable invaluavle lesbians or a poor unfortunate victim of being groomed by the Big Scary Trans Genders
Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been denied crucial, sometimes life-saving and/or life-altering health and medical care all because their gender marker has been changed to an M.
Tell that to the trans men who get told we're the ones responsible misogyny being systematic - that we just want to have it "easier" and surely can no longer be feminists because we "chose being an evil, oppressive (trans) man over being a soft, holy (cis) woman"
Tell them that all of the losses of their social connections and supports, the grimaces and sneers people have as their transition goes "too far". Tell that to the trans men and transmascs who have been deemed as predatory, potentially dangerous, in need of "saving", and so much more. Tell it to the trans men and transmascs who go through constant silencing, scrutiny, erasure and gatekeeping. Tell them that all of the pain, grief, loneliness, isolation, harassment, abuse and MORE that they have experienced ISN'T because they're a man or masculine, but because they're "just" trans. Even when, during all of these horrific moments in their life, the people inflicting this violence against them held nothing but contempt for them choosing to be a man. For trying to parade around as a man, when clearly they're just some poor delusional cis woman.
Tell them, because clearly you know everything and exactly how all of this works and how everyone's lived experiences have gone. Because you apparently know everything more than anyone else.
#Jean rambles#Transphobia#Lateral aggression#I'm actually getting so sick of seeing this argument against it#Like y'all really need to get better at thinking#If you are a marginalized person and ALSO a man then yes!!#Part of your struggles WILL be because you are a man/masculine!#Because of shit like ''all men are secretly evil violent bloodthirsty killers'' that has rotted some of y'alls brains#That hurts people - not just cis men or even trans men#It hurts PEOPLE to assume an entire gender and/or sex is prone or hardwired to do something#Like goddamn ''all black (cis) men are dangerous and are going to hurt our poor helpless white (cis) women''#Is one of the biggest examples with PLENTY of historical proof behind it#This line of thinking always ends up right in the lap of fascism and white supremacy and overall bigotry#And y'all need to cut it out#tw abuse#tw assault#Long post#Kind of#Transandrophobia
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(THIS IS A SCREENSHOT)
(END SCREENSHOT)
hey op
eat shit
#reactionary embarassment#hall of shame#receipts#exorsexism#lateral aggression#what too much discourse does to a mf#im tired#nonbinary genders are LITERALLY represented on the trans flag by the white stripe#monica helms HERSELF said so
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if you're going to talk about toxic masculinity you also need to talk about toxic femininity and people using femininity as a weapon. i'm tired of my excitement being seen as a threat, the voice that used to be praised for being heard now viewed as "talking over" others, i'm tired of being brow beaten for daring to use he/him pronouns when i still very much am seen as a woman.
toxic femininity is just as bad as toxic masculinity and if you get defensive about this you're probably definitely part of the problem
#i'm not elaborating on this until i get home from work#sorry not sorry#my post#lateral aggression#transmisandry#transandrophobia
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#meme#lateral aggression#lateral transphobia#tw baeddels#baeddelism#misgendering#transphobes#transmisogyny#transmisandry#transandrophobia#its the same thing as terfs calling trans women defending themselves from getting misgendered misogynistic for it and you know it#its the same thing as a gay man telling a cishet to back the fuck off when theyre yelling faggot at him#its just that you guys think its fine as long as it happens to trans men#and transmascs and nonbinary people#agab#degendering#harass deny and claim righteousness bc ur 'more oppressed' so its ok to be a transphobic pos#political memes#bullying#online harassment#tw transphobia mention#tw misgendering mention#rules for me but not for thee#if you make a transfem dysphoric even by accident ur evil and deserve to die#if you make a transmasc dysphoric its ok and actually encouraged#double standards#exorsexism#baeddels asking men/male presenting people whats in their pants so they know if they can bully them and get away w it#poorly edited memes for your dash#gender
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People really don't know what transunity is or don't believe that even if you don't like certain people for whatever reason, they still should be afforded the same rights and protections as you.
Transfemmes that do wrong (I personally know one who gets me mad everytime irl because she abused my partner and me) still deserve transunity and the right to live in a world free from transphobia (yes, all legs of transphobia, too).
Transmascs that do wrong (I've mostly experienced them online) still deserve the right to live in a world without transphobia and deserve transunity.
Transneutral and all other trans people deserve the right to live in a world where there is transunity and no transphobia.
Hell, even cis and gender nonconforming (whether cis or trans or whatever) deserve transunity and to not live in a transphobic world.
If you want the world to be a better place, for the trans community to be better, then get over putting your personal shit onto whole demographics.
Why are you so for hurting that person who did you wrong that you'll gladly hurt yourself in the process? And not only yourself, but really all people?
#trans#transunity#lateral aggression#transphobia#gender nonconforming#long#man²#bigotry#yes this wholeheartedly applies to queer ppl too and i bet it applies to other marginalized ppl as well#its rlly shitty that ppl who want restorative justice or justice not solely based on imprisonment and punishment do this shit yk?
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tbh its almost not worth going on queer nsft tumblr bc of how stressful it is ??? so many posts have DNIs like wlw only or fems only, and so on. and like... I'm a queer person. my gender and sexuality are so fluid i barely worry about them. but every post i have to think "am i allowed to like this post? i come off kinda masc sometimes" or "will this person accept me as wlw?" and it's exhausting. i feel like at every turn im being told to either assign myself labels that don't fit quite right or get off queer nsft tumblr.
i notice misandry and transandrophobia a lot more now the more masculine i seem because of T. people considering me predatory instead of safe, which was actually my greatest fear when i started hrt. people saying "women and non-binary people" and wondering what they mean. maybe they're polysexual. maybe they're bio essentialist t erfs [turfs]. do they think enben, (non-binary people), are just "women-lite"? do they hate men? how do they feel about enben AMAB? what about enben who aren't androgynous? would they even accept me as non-binary because i've been on T for 4 years?
i know people have boundaries, and thats super important! but i wonder what motivates those boundaries, what logic underlies them. are they saying what they really mean?
#queer#queer nsft#nsft queer#queer community#non binary#transandrophobia#binarism#cisexism#???#queerphobia#lateral aggression#sft#sfw#vent#rant tw#reality check#vent tw#transphobia tw#transphobia#queerphobia tw#idk yall not feelin the love#mine#also im autistic so ijust#i cant help but take that shit at face value#king of overthinking a question
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Just saw a post and had to do a thing about it. Even with my own issues with my phobias that make it hard to think about certain things, I feel the need to speak my mind.
STOP 👏 PUNCHING 👏 EACH 👏 OTHER 👏 DOWN!!!
Saying that [x] had it worse than [y] and that people should be talking about [x] more and vice versa isn't helping jack shit.
Acting like transmisogyny, especially involving the harassment of infamous trans women on tumblr by staff, isn't "that bad" or "as bad" compared to something else isn't going to help anyone.
Acting like transmisandry, especially involving the murder of a two-spirit teenager which people are actively trying to blame on said teenager, isn't "that bad" or "as bad" compared to something else isn't going to help anyone.
Acting like exorsexism, especially when it involves active and violent erasure of ones identity from all sides (even transgender people, even nonbinary people) for a plethora of reasons, isn't "that bad" or "as bad" compared to something else isn't going to help anyone.
Hurting other trans people to appeal to the cis won't help.
To the people that this post applies to (mostly just me screaming angrily into the void):
Your conditional privileges are conditional.
Your lateral violence is scarring.
No buts. No whining. I want to hear none of that bullshit below my post.
You hurt your own in your own ignorance and pain, and you use that pain to justify your ignorance and your violence.
You refuse to learn because it's scary. Whether it makes you mad or uncomfortable or irritated or any of that, that comes from fear.
I'd know. I have gynephobia. I'm afraid of learning about transgender women in particular, but also women in general, because of lateral violence (done by people like you, reader.)
I used to hate other groups of people (I didn't consider it fear, but it was) and I refused to learn about them, which made it worse.
That doesn't mean I can rip on trans women for complaining about genuine issues!
That does mean you can rip on trans women or trans men or nonbinary people for complaining about genuine issues!
Your. Fears. Don't. Justify. Your. Violence.
#caps#repitition#rant#transphobia#transmysogyny#transmisandry#exorsexism#transandrophobia#lateral violence#lateral aggression
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wdym people on this site unironically think "androgynous privilege" is a thing
#max squawks#first “butch privilege”#then “afab privilege”#and now this#the fuck is wrong with you guys#stop making up shit to excuse your shittiness towards other queer people#exorsexism#transphobia#queerphobia#androgynous#androgyny#androgynphobia#lateral aggression
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to add to the conversations with the way people react to depictions of queer gnc men online, I think it's worth pointing out that people are Way To Comfortable assuming that depictions of feminine queer men are always made by women to fetishize or infantilize Real queer men.
even when you add the caveat that Obviously not every single depiction of a feminine queer men online is made by women, in practice a lot of people act on the assumption that Most of these depictions are. to the point that they're comfortable Assuming that it's suspicious if a particular space has "too much" of it or if they see a particular depiction that personally makes them uncomfortable.
because it's Assumed that these depictions Must come from some kind of malice, that this discomfort Must translate to harm being done to them. and, importantly, that these depictions aren't For trans people.
and I'm sorry, but weeding out girls who like feminine men will never be worth hurting queer men. tying these physical traits to infantilization, degradation, and fetishization As A Baseline is actively stigmatizing gnc men. and it does so in a way that reinforces the stigmatization that society Already associates with these traits.
when you imply (or outright state) that people only depict queer men with a specific body type or a specific presentation because it's fetishizing or infantilizing or degrading you are saying that about real queer people who see themselves in those traits. real queer people who often Make The Depictions That You're Speaking About to find comfort and self actualization in them.
and ! even if it Isn't queer men creating these depictions that isn't in itself more suspicious than any other depiction of a queer person. these depictions can still be made For a queer audience. and those people who aren't queer men now may soon realize that they were after all.
it's no coincidence that terfs are fond of calling trans men fujoshi fetishists and insisting that they're girls who infantilize and sexualize the Real queer men. there's no coincidence in how much it overlaps with the ways that fandom often speaks about femininity in queer men.
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Genuine question. I am fairly confident that i understand the point you were making about the use of the phrase (among a couple others) cuntboy to be unconsionable. I think it was much the same as the fairly standard dont be an ass, call people the terminology they want used for them and do not call them things they do not use for themselves, mixed with the very lengthy transphobic and fetishistic uses the terminology has history with. But, i am terrible at context and, i am not certain that i havent missed anything else. Is that understanding correct? If not, would it be unkind if i were to ask you to elaborate? Or not, i am very familiar with complicated relationships with gender and identifying terminology and how fucking exhausting talking about this stuff ad nauseum can get, so a no is perfectly adequite for telling me off.
Inserting tags here because there isnt really a good equivalent inside asks.
#i respect you massively and find you well a well educated and eloquent resource for living knowledge on these topics.
#autistic context problems yay
#actually autistic
Nope, that's pretty much it.
The uses of terms like 'cuntboy' and 'zippertits' that we're talking about are coming out of the hands of the same people who are talking about how trans men should be raped and made pregnant to force them to detransition. That clearly is ... really fucked up. Those words are not meant as a means of establishing a shared outsider status, which is how queers use slurs positively with each other. Nope. They're clearly meant to make those transmascs/trans men feel like shit and they're continuing after people have asked for it to fucking stop.
If a random trans dude gets off on his lover calling him zippertits or cuntboy or if it's a thing that he and his friends call each other -- much the same way that a lot of queers call each other faggot and dyke in a way that is consented to by both parties -- or if a random trans dude gets off on forced detransition play in his sex life because of the taboo of it or whatever, that's fine. That's something that person consented to being called, and probably actively asked to be called or to have done to them.
The key concept here is consent, and that's what's clearly missing when someone is being harassed. Indeed, that's what makes the behavior harassment. The words matter less than the fact that this clearly isn't consented to and the people subjected to this behavior have said 'hey, fucking stop it.' Someone could be calling transmascs ham sandwich and it would still be harassment if the people in question said 'hey stop it' and it continued.
#lateral aggression#trans violence#trans on trans harassment#trans on transphobia#trans issues#transandrophobia
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how do you hate trans women THIS much. its not even subtle anymore you "transandrophobia" weirdos just love to act like trans women are irrational and evil for having a word to describe their own fucking experiences and not wanting transmascs to talk over them about this one thing, but i guess yall just have to make everything about yourselves right? hope you have the day you deserve.
But using the word transandrophobia isn't talking over trans women. It is, in fact, an entirely different conversation. We're not talking over you, because we're not even in the same space as you.
I do not think trans women are irrational or evil for having a word to describe their own experiences.
Surely no one would think trans men were irrational or evil for wanting to have a word to describe their own experiences.
I think transmisogyny is a very important word, because transfemmes and trans women face a unique form of oppression that comes from an intersection of being femme and being trans.
Transmascs also face a unique form of oppression, one that comes from an intersection of being masculine and being trans.
And yet here we are, with you in my inbox. You have come into my space to tell me I'm talking over you. Honey, I wasn't talking to you or about you. You were not part of this conversation, therefore, you are the uninvited one speaking over me.
#transandrophobia#transphobia#lateral aggression#trans#transgender#trans man#trans masc#transmasc#nonbinary#non binary#genderqueer#gender queer#ask#anon#anon hate#transfemme#trans femme#trans woman
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I wanna find other cripples who aren't spending a bunch of their energy being incredibly sanist. It always hurts me so much emotionally to see the sheer amount of sanism in "cripplepunk" spaces. I don't feel safe because so many people express wanting to do violence to disabled people who are not "the right type" of disabled. I am not JUST an ambulatory wheelchair user. I am also severely mentally ill. I cannot be safe in a community that constantly preaches about wanting people like me to be injured, using my conditions as insults, downplaying the way my conditions disable me, and use genuine ableism as part of their core rhetoric.
#cripple#mad cripple#sanism#ableism#lateral aggression#also lowkey punching down#love how some people use sociopathy as an insult to ableist people without realizing they're ableist#that and narc abuse truthers too
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