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fluffypotatey · 9 months

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*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again #(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube)#special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots #fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕#also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other #forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again #also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi #own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her #when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur #it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more #literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more #well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for #always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf #also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc #loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites #with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER #her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate #the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ?????#anyway #continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:(#[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂#place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur)#spent 2 days on this post lol #me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur—#me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free????#pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate!#me: FUCK THERE’S MORE #bbc merlin #merlin meta #pendragon sibs

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magoopi · 7 months

Text

Bond [Mor]

A/N: never ever posted anything that i wrote, so im pretty nervous. english is also not my first language so i apologize for any mistakes. the text also doesn't looks justified on web? please let me know if i need to change anything, hope everyone enjoys this :)

Warnings: Suggestive content, allusions to torture, no explicit sex, Mor helps reader take a bath, F!reader.

Bond [Mor]

She didn't know how long she had been there, and she wasn't sure if she was alive. She looked again at the wall in front of her. She didn't know who the people decaying there were, she didn't know their names or where they came from, but still, she felt for them, for those who had suffered the same fate as her. Her thoughts drifted for some time, maybe countless minutes or not more than an hour, she would never be able to say for sure.

Warnings: Suggestive content, allusions to torture, no explicit sex, Mor helps reader take a bath, F!reader.

The metallic smell hung in the air contained flames in what looked like transparent boxes, and floated in the corners of the purple cave. If it weren't for the smell, in another situation, it could be considered a beautiful place, something she would aspire to visit one day, but the bodies nailed in a position similar to hers and the remnants of blood staining the walls in front of her did not allow her to dream so high.

The girl couldn't remember how long she had been there, and she wasn't even sure if she was alive. What would her friends say if they saw her like this? The pathetic way she had ended up, trapped and suspended in the air by countless chains attached to the ceiling and floor of the cave that wound up her body, a macabre version of the jewelry she had once worn, her arms pinned with metal bars.

She closed her eyes when she heard footsteps approaching, already knowing who it was and fearing who was coming. Seconds later, she felt a breeze near her face and opened her eyes, coming face to face with the Hybern commander, who had claimed her as a prize after breaking Velaris' barriers. She had never seen the figure with purple hair until the day she had been captured.

Mor had asked her countless times not to leave the city alone, especially with all the threats that were looming with the approaching war, but (Y/N) had ignored the request when she saw Mor at Rita's, smiling while whispering to a fae she had positioned on her lap, not even giving her a chance to realize she had been caught.

(Y/N) knew she didn't stand a chance with the blonde; Azriel had tried for 500 years without success and had never gone beyond a dear friend, even though the bond of partnership had clicked for her, it didn't mean that Mor would accept or want it. But she wouldn't torture herself by watching the scene in front of her. She ran from the bar as fast as she could, bumping into some people on the way, feeling the urge to escape. No matter how fast she ran, it never seemed like enough; the cold had no effect, and her body felt too hot, she wanted that feeling to go away, to disconnect from everything she felt for Mor.

She couldn't see who was behind her; their sweet scent made her dizzy. The terror still ran through her veins when she, still from behind, pulled her closer and ran a hand over her shoulder, lifting her chin with a finger.

She sat on one of the benches on the street, near the portal she knew was where the passage out of the city was, hidden and camouflaged. Clutching her chest, she tried to calm herself, feeling like she was burning and freezing at the same time, terrified, she knelt on the ground, burying her head in the snow that had accumulated in front of her.

When she felt well enough, (Y/N) made a move to get up, thinking about how to get back to the House of Wind without worrying her friends, and how to explain the mess she was in at the moment. But then she saw two figures approaching, hidden in the shadows. They shouldn't be there; they shouldn't be able to enter. Looking in horror, she tried to get up and run, but before she could reach the nearest house on the street, a hand closed around her neck.

"Hmm, so you're the High Lord's little pet? I never imagined he'd hide someone so delectable," a female voice purred, dripping with malice.

She couldn't say anything; she struggled to respond, to say anything, to show that she wasn't weak, even if it was a lie, but she could only whimper in response, her hand tightening around her throat. Suddenly, cold hit her like a barrier between her and the snow around them. She could feel the cold-like needles on her skin; her face wet with snow didn't help. She felt her whole body shivering, and she couldn't tell if it was from the cold or the fear that flooded her.

She forced herself to take steps forward; she needed to warn someone. No one should be able to pass, let alone break the enchantments that protected Velaris. But she was pulled back towards the woman's chest, her hand tightening on her throat. Suddenly, she felt her entire body go rigid, unable to move.

"No, no, no… be a good girl and stay quiet," she whispered in her ear, running her tongue along her neck, where she licked, it felt like she was on fire from the inside out. Tears streamed down her face, but she couldn't even cry. She saw Attor passing by her side, his gaze fixed on her as if he could see into her soul before pointing at her and speaking to the girl who held her.

I only came back to myself when I was already chained in the cave. Now I could see the woman who had kidnapped me clearly. Her purple hair extended to her waist; she was relatively short, with extremely pale skin, as if she had been painted to look like a specter, her intense yellow eyes staring at me, dressed in black pants and a top with sleeves, and thigh-high boots. In her hands was a small knife, which changed color as the light hit it, blending purple and green to form new shades.

"This bitch belongs to him; she can lead us to them," he said, still looking at her, and muttered something, still looking at her, and began to walk towards the shadows, heading back to the portal and crossing it without any effort.

The woman behind me raised her hand, smoke emerging from her palm enveloping my body, and I felt my mind grow heavy before hitting the ground. My eyes closed against my will; I was aware of everything around me but couldn't make out anything. It was as if my mind was functioning in a limited way as if I had forgotten something important.

"So, you've decided to wake up?" she asked with enthusiasm while wielding the knife in her right hand.

She approached me and raised her hands, causing the chains to adjust to her command and anchor themselves to the cave floor. With a giggle, she ran the knife under my shirt, the cold blade made my skin prickle, and chills ran through my body. I wanted to move away, but aside from the chains holding me still, my body didn't move, as if it were disconnected. I scanned my limited field of vision from side to side, looking for something, anything that would help me avoid the knife's touch.

'I thought it would be a good idea to let my toys know each other.' Wylla smiled, showing her teeth as she leaned on the flat iron wall.

Before I could even formulate a line of thought, the blade was pushed between my ribs up to the hilt, tears streaming down my face, I couldn't scream or move, my vision blurred as pain coursed through me, pure fire running through me, it felt similar to when she licked my neck but now it had been intensified, I felt the knife moving inside me, opening the hole she had created.

In front of him was a woman of dark skin chained to the ceiling and two legs tied to the wall of the cave with iron bars, on her head, black ears like those of a wolf were moving together, capturing the grumbling of (Y/N). The woman in front of him seemed in a better position than (Y/N) and the man on his left but could not say for sure. Her eyes wandered a little further and she caught the girl's black tail, now tied from top to bottom next to her body.

When Wylla came back, she knew that that was going to be the last time, she would be killed like the other two, she prayed to Mother that she would make a mistake and kill her quickly.

For several days the three observed each other, seeing each other being tortured, Wylla came back eight times, in one of them killed the male, incinerating his body, he burned for a few minutes, stuck by the chains, his body swung as the flames licked the skin and marked the contour of his body on the wall behind him. T

he smell of burned meat remained in the air for longer, after (Y/N) saw the girl in front of her being constantly beaten, without even being able to close her eyes, when she thought that it was finally going to end, Wylla took the knife that she had seen the first time and made a hole in the neck of the girl, she bleed for long, also caught the chains but just like the male, she could move again, her blood spitting and flowing through her body and through the wall behind her that was always moving, (Y / N) heard her screaming and forcing chains for what seemed an eternity until she no longer had forced her body to stay inert.

She approached with a new knife in her hand, it was orange and had what she remembered to be rooted in the blade, Wylla took out of her pocket a pot with a yellow liquid and removed the lid, as soon as the smell hit her had the confirmation of what the liquid was, a weaker version of the poison used in beam arrows, this killed faster when it came into contact with her blood, it would spread through her veins, mixing and passing through all her organs, corroding one by one. She placed the tip of the knife in the opening of the pot and the yellow liquid, climbed through the blade, quickly filling all the loops in the Knife.

Wylla approached, leaving a drop drip on the first cut she had done, was clearly infected, which was going to accelerate the poisoning. When the poison drop hit the wound, I felt like I was going to vomit, the pain stronger than any injury she had done before, I couldn't lower my head and swallowed with bile, my stomach burning.

She laughed as she looked at me and moved her fingers, suddenly I regained control of my body, and I fought against the chains, only at that moment did I realize that my wrists were in living flesh through the chain. I cried and coughed trying to get rid of all that. Wylla passed the knife through the left side of my body, as if drawing my contour, when she reached my hip, she wrapped up her knife and pulled it towards my shoulder, opening a new wound, I yelled as I felt the poison spreading through my body.

I started losing my senses, I didn't know if I was fainting or finally dying. I let the darkness take over me, I just wanted it to end, one way or another.

All the time I've been trapped in the cave, I haven't thought of Mor or Rhys, Azriel or Cassian. I couldn't think of anything, as if my mind was wrapped in a cloud, it seemed as if everything before that place had been stolen from me and sub-substantive by nothing. Now I was wondering if they would ever know what happened, if anyone had seen Wylla and the Attor, was Velaris still standing? The war had already begun? Were my friends alive? Would you find them soon?

Azriel flew over Velaris wrapped in shadows, when he saw (Y/N) running from Rita’s to the limits of Velaris and playing on the ground, was flying towards her when he noticed the two figures crossing the portal, discussed what to do, and quickly crossed into the room where Rhys, Feyra and Amren were, the lower had already realized that the enchantments had been broken.

Two days after her disappearance, he sent a message saying he had found a cave in Tamlin's territory reeking of her scent. As soon as they received the message, Mor, Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel crossed over, arriving in Tamlin's territory within seconds. When Tamlin saw Feyre, he ran towards her in a fit of rage, trying to pull the fae behind him. Before he could reach her, Cassian stood in his way, growling, and showing his claws. Rhys stepped in before a real fight could break out.

'One of the Attor and one of the commanders of Hybern are in the gate, (Y/N) is also there to come back to get her.' Azriel exclaimed before crossing back. Mor felt a strain in his chest and crossed behind Azriel to make sure that (Y/N) was fine.

Arriving there they faced for a few seconds the empty place before the shadows of Azriel began to travel every corner of Velaris in search of his friend.

Days passed without anyone finding even a clue about (Y/N)'s whereabouts. Everyone in the Inner Circle was desperate, even Amren, who never showed her emotions, walked with her head down and grumbled at anyone who tried to talk to her more than necessary. Mor cried every night, and everyone could hear it, but no one questioned her, knowing how much (Y/N) meant to her. Rhys and Feyre worked day and night trying to find any trace of her outside Velaris, while Cassian patrolled the boundaries of the Spring Court.

"We're here for (Y/N)," Rhys said with a false calm, the threat more than clear. "If you try to interfere, I'll break you piece by piece, and no one will even remember what you once looked like."

Lucien nodded towards the forest at the edge of the property, and without wasting another second, they all crossed over, leaving the other two far behind. The group spread out, and it was Azriel who found the cave. An enchantment sealed the entrance and hid it, camouflaging it among the trees. Rhysand broke the enchantment effortlessly, and they all quickly made their way inside. The long corridor led in only one direction.

Mor frantically pulled at the chains while Cassian and Feyre held (Y/N), trying to close her wounds as best they could. Azriel could hear her heartbeat growing weaker with each passing moment. Rhysand delved into her mind in search of her essence, which hung by a thread.

After walking for a few more minutes, they came face to face with a smooth metal plate. Before anyone could make a move, Cassian kicked the plate, which hit the wall in front of them, revealing what seemed to be a square room, illuminated by floating flames. Chains were attached to all the walls, and to the left of them was (Y/N), chained and almost unrecognizable.

Blood dripped from her body as she struggled against the chains. In front of her stood a short woman with purple hair, holding a dagger soaked in poison, who now looked at them with eyes filled with hatred. Rhys entered her mind and began to dismantle her piece by piece, but Azriel stepped forward, grabbing her by the throat, his shadows choking the girl. She squirmed in his grasp before the shadows reached her heart, which exploded in her chest, blood flowing from her mouth and nose as he threw her against the wall, contorting her body at an unnatural angle.

When the three of them finally removed (Y/N) from the chains, Cassian lifted her carefully, turning his head quickly when Mor began to growl, showing her teeth at him. They would have laughed at the situation if they could, teasing Mor, but everyone could hear the girl's heartbeat growing fainter in Cassian's arms. Quickly, they crossed back to Velaris, where the twins were already waiting with doctors ready to care for her.

Mor refused to leave the door of the room all day. Her thoughts wandered, and the woman she loved was her partner, happiness, and fear clouding her thoughts. She had never thought she could have a partner, and now the fear of (Y/N) rejecting her or not being able to make the girl happy paralyzed her. She was afraid of falling in love, but when (Y/N) became part of the Inner Circle, it happened without her even realizing it. When she realized she was in love, she tried her best to shut off that feeling, not wanting to allow herself to love and be rejected in the end.

Rhysand brought a plate of food at some point during the day and leaned against the wall.

"It's normal, you know? The fear of not living up to her expectations or not being good enough," he said, a smug smile on his face.

Mor raised her eyes to him, blinking slowly as she processed what he had said. She sighed softly, placed the plate on her lap, and looked at him again.

"I don't even know if she knows about the partnership or if she wants to accept it. I don't even know if she's going to survive," she said softly, tears threatening to fall.

"I think you're the only one who never noticed how she looks at you. Every time you arrive, her gaze follows you. You're always the first person she thinks of when we're planning anything," he replied firmly as he knelt in front of Mor, hugging her and stroking her hair as she cried.

"She'll be fine, and when she wakes up, you can talk to her better," he whispered.

The doctors left (Y/N)'s room in the early hours of the morning, as the sun began to rise again. They approached Rhysand and Mor, who were waiting together outside.

"We've given her a tonic to keep her sleeping for another three days, to allow her body to rest. We'll leave some for her to take when she wakes up to help with the pain and show her how to change the bandages. I'll be back in a week to check on her," said the older woman of the two before going back into the room to demonstrate how to clean and cover the wounds.

The three days passed slowly, dragging on for Mor's despair. Nuala and Cerridwen helped change the bandages and continued bringing food to the blonde, who refused to leave her partner's side.

Opening my eyes, I tried to lift my head to look around, but fatigue and pain overcame me. I blinked to adjust to the light and realized that the ceiling above me was that of my room in Velaris, in the House of Wind. I smiled as I tried to process everything that had happened. After some time, I sat up with difficulty, my whole body aching, my head heavy, and I had to take deep breaths to avoid vomiting.

I spotted Mor sleeping in a chair beside the bed, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, swaying with the breeze. I opened my mouth, but my throat was dry, and I coughed violently when I tried to force myself to speak. I shrank back, as the effort made everything hurt even more, and my vision blurred with tears. I heard Mor gasping and rushing towards me. She brought a glass of cold water to my lips, then wiped my face with her fingertips, a smile adorning her features.

I drank eagerly before she told me to slow down and moved the glass away from me. Then, she handed me a pain tonic and instructed me to drink it. She left the room quickly and returned with a plate of bread and some pieces of cheese in one hand and a bowl of fruit in the other.

She sat in front of me, crossing her long legs, and placed the fruit bowl on her thigh while holding a strawberry and feeding me slowly, alternating with sips of water. When I finished, she took the

plates to the kitchen, all the while keeping a smile on her face. When she returned to the room, she lay down beside me.

"I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that if you're uncomfortable, you'll let me know, and I'll leave, and we'll go back to how we were before. We don't have to talk about this anymore," she said, looking into my eyes.

I nodded, and she propped herself up, sighing before starting.

Before she could continue, I pulled her by the neck, pressing her body against mine, and kissed her slowly, our mouths moving delicately together. She wrapped her arms around my neck, deepening the kiss, sighing, her warm breath against my mouth. She pulled away to breathe, resting her forehead against mine, and smiled, running her fingers over my hip.

"I've always loved you, the way you laugh at Cassian's nonsense, how you get along with Azriel, how you admire Rhys and Feyre's love, how loyal you are to your beliefs, how your cheeks blush in the cold, the way you dance when you're drunk, how you take care of us, how happy you are drinking a cup of hot chocolate, how you fight for what you believe in… I never thought I'd fall in love for real. I guess I never even thought about it much, but the little I did scared me. I've always been afraid to fall in love, to give myself to someone and have them hurt me, play with my heart.

But then you came along, and even though I didn't want to, I couldn't fight it. The day we found you when I saw you chained to that wall, I discovered that I have a partner, and that terrifies me because I don't know if you love me, I don't know what love means to you, if you want a partnership with me, if I could make you happy, if you love someone else…"

"I knew about the partnership for some time, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to trap you. I didn't want you to feel any responsibility because of it, or feel like you couldn't be with someone else because I'm always around. I want you to be happy, no matter who it's with," I whispered, our foreheads together, feeling her tears wetting my face. I opened my eyes, looking into her eyes, memorizing every detail, the piercing color of her eyes, the sweet perfume scent that emanated from her, her hands caressing my nape, the shape of her red lips.

She pulled me closer, and I sighed as fatigue set in. I wasn't in pain yet, but the exhaustion was still there. My eyes grew heavy, and I snuggled into Mor, who kissed my forehead before resting beside me.

We slept together for a while, and when I woke up, it was already night. She wasn't in the room, and I started to make the bed when I felt her arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close to her. I felt her breath on my neck, making me shiver. Mor placed her hands on my hips with care, pulling me closer to her, and sighed softly. She turned me to face her, and we went back to our room, starting to undress the bed. I felt her arms around my waist, pulling me close to her, and I felt her breath on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Mor put her hands on my hips, gently pulling me into her. She turned me to face her, and we continued undressing on the bed.

"Maybe we should dry ourselves; I'm starving," I suggested, feeling a bit awkward. I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"We should, I think we've spent enough time in the water," she said, picking up the plates and returning to her room, leaving me with a pile of clothes. When she turned around and saw me staring, she blinked and gave me a little smile. I covered my face with my hands to hide my blush.

She came over to me and extended one of her hands to help me out of the tub, looking me up and down. She bit her lower lip when she saw my top come up, but she didn't say anything. I raised my arms slowly to avoid pain and let her slide the garment off, dropping it to the floor and leaving me exposed. I covered my breasts with my arm and looked down, feeling my body heat up with embarrassment. She then hooked her finger in the waistband of my pants and slid her arms around my body, placing one hand on each side of my hips. She pulled down the pants along with my underwear. She helped me remove the bandages, and I stared at the red welts running down my body. Mor raised my chin gently and gave me a short kiss, diverting my attention from the mirror.

After entering the water, I sat on one of the stone steps and turned to her, feeling embarrassed about how close she was to me. She dipped her head into the water, and I brushed her hair away from her neck, placing wet kisses there. I felt her skin prickle as I kissed her neck lightly, and I chuckled softly in her ear. I leaned back, letting her hair fall onto my chest, and looked out at the starry night, trying not to think about how beautiful she was and how close she was to me. The night in Velaris never ceased to amaze me, the sea of stars rising beneath us, how many dreams and wishes did those stars hold?

We descended the stairs to the terrace slowly, leaving the kitchen for later. We stopped in the kitchen and prepared dinner together, taking longer than usual because I still felt tired. We then went back to the room and fell asleep side by side.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #acomaf #acowar #x reader #reader insert #acotar x reader #mor x reader #morrigan x reader #idk what im doing #i wrote some words #when i was 16

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