orphaned cannibal adoption AU- Charlie BURSTING in the hotel front doors, striking the iconic lion king pose, and proudly presenting the cannibal kid to the other hotel denizens
Charlie: "GUYS OH MY GOSH LOOK LOOK LOOK!" (waggles the kid happily) "A KID!!!!!!!!! Kid, say hi!"
Cannibal Kid: “Hi…”
Husk: "What the fuck is this? Child labor??"
Vaggie: "No."
Cannibal Kid: (dangling in Charlie’s grip) "I'm VERY high up right now."
Charlie: "Do you like it? The hotel? The high up-ness? The other people living here? We can change ANYTHING you like! You are my child now, and I'm melting like silly putty in your tiny, tiny hands!"
Angel Dust: "Thrillin', toots. Who carried."
Cannibal Kid: "Small hands are useful for getting things out of tight spaces."
Charlie: "I did!"
Vaggie: "Do I wanna know what kinds of things you usually get from what kinds of spaces?"
Angel Dust: "Huh. Would'a thought it'd be Vaginal Area over here."
Cannibal Kid: "Internal organs. From still warm bodies."
Vaggie: "Great."
Charlie: "I carried our new kid here ALLLLLLL the way from Cannibal Town! On my shoulders! Just like how my dad used to do with me!! Only I didn’t turn into a horse or a kangaroo or-"
Niffty: "Aww, that's a long way to walk!" (raises hand) "THEY CAN SNACK ON MY HAND IF THEY'RE HUNGRY!"
Vaggie: "Niffty, Rosie packed a lunch."
Niffty: "NOOOOOOOO...!!!"
Vaggie: "And it's adoption, Angel Dust you asshole. Also try keeping the swearing to a G rating okay."
Husk: "You fucking first."
Vaggie: "Fuck."
Cannibal Kid: "Don't worry. Auntie Rosie taught me to only put nice things in my mouth."
Charlie: "Ooooh like candy?!" (realizing cannibal) "Or, wait-"
Cannibal Kid: "Like eyeballs."
Husk: (SNORTS)
Angel Dust: "Ouchie~"
Vaggie: "What? What? Wanna share something with the room, dingbat!?"
Angel Dust: "I meannnnnn- 's not like you're exactly well equipped to feed your new kid, are ya Vagginator? That's kinda... EYE-ronic."
Husk: (snorts so hard his fur fluffs up)
Niffty: "I have an eye I HAVE AN EYE!!! It's BIG and ROUND and-"
Vaggie: "No."
Cannibal Kid: "Aw."
Niffty: "MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!"
Vaggie: "Oh for- Husk, just, break a bottle and let Niffty have the glass or something. This is too much sudden family bonding happening right now."
Husk: "Let me fucking empty one first." (starts chugging)
Vaggie: (SIGHS)
Charlie: "Right." (lowers kid to eye level) (her eye level, not vaggie’s) "Have you ever heard... of gummy worms?"
Cannibal Kid: "No. But I ate someone named Gary Wormwood once."
Charlie: "That's pretty close!"
Vaggie: "Sweetie, no it's not."
Charlie: "Vaggie, as the mothers, our kid's 'best so far' is always more than good enough for us, it's AMAZING."
Cannibal Kid: "He wasn't that great."
Angel Dust: "Leavin' totally mid Gary to rot somewhere back in creepy Cannibal Town, what's the name of your own sweet little murder baby?"
Vaggie: "..."
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie, are you gonna...?"
Charlie: "I mean you're the one who clicked with them, I thought you'd be doing the big introductions!"
Vaggie: "I'd love too, sweetie, but I don't actually... y'know."
Charlie: "What?"
Vaggie: “…um.”
Angel Dust: "...you don't know their fuckin' name, do ya?"
Charlie: "WHAT!?"
Vaggie: "It, it never came up! I thought I'd find out when you said it!"
Charlie: "I THOUGHT I'D FIND OUT WHEN YOU SAID IT, TOO!!!"
Angel Dust: "Oh fuck me with a plastic dick- Neither of ya's gay morons know's the kid's name???"
Cannibal Kid: "It's Annie."
Charlie: "!! ANNIE IM SO SORRY MOM WILL NEVER NOT KNOW YOUR NAME EVER AGAIN-"
Annie: "Short for Annabelle."
Hotel Crew: “……”
Vaggie: "....like, Annabelle the… cannibal?"
Annie: "Tragically."
Charlie: "Oh but that's. A. Lovely name."
Annie: "My dead parents thought they were both really funny." (flat stare) "They weren't."
Angel Dust: “Sucks to be you, kid. Sorry ‘bout your old man and lady.”
Annie: “It’s okay. They didn’t own a hotel.”
Charlie: “Ahhaha! This is a horrible thing to say, but- I feel like your FIRST life changing experience with us will be learning the true meaning of family!”
Annie: “Since you’re the princess of hell, what does that make me?”
Vaggie: “A normal kid who’s mom is princess of hell.”
Annie: “Dang.”
Angel Dust: “Oh I’m gonna LOVE bein’ your uncle! You’ve got piz-zazz don’t ya~?”
Annie: “No.” (pulls Razzle out from under their coat) “His name’s Razzle.”
Angel Dust: “That ain’t exactly what I meant-”
Annie: “I know. I was just being funnier than you.”
Husk: “Ha! Now this is MY kinda kid!”
Angel Dust: “Yeah sure whatever, I’m still gonna be a waaay cooler uncle than you, so… uhhh… Vaggie-boner, why’s your girlfriend making that noise?”
Vaggie: “The ‘eeeeee’ing?”
Angel Dust: “Yeah.”
Vaggie: “It’s one of her happy sounds.”
Angel Dust: “What the fuck is she so happy about. Didn’t she get over the whole burst of motherly endorphins thing while signin’ adoption papers over in Eats-your-face-burg?”
Vaggie: “I mean, you did kinda just make it sound like you think of her as family.”
Angel Dust: “Of course you gays are family! What the fuck???”
Husk: “….you fucking idiot. Now you’ve made them both cry.”
Niffty: “I wish that was meeee…”
Annie: “I think they’re tears of joy." (dabs tear on finger and tries it) "Tastes like it, anyway. Too sweet.” (pulls face) "Blegh."
Niffty: “Emotional pain from the AGONIZING realization of everything that’d been CUT AWAY FROM YOU LIKE A KNIFE TO YOUR HEART at the same moment someone VIOLENTLY SHOVES a brand new PAINFULLY BEATING HEART into the EMPTY CAVITY that used to hold your BRUTALLY CRUSHED DREAMS… can be fun too…”
Angel Dust: “….”
Husk: “….”
Annie: “Aunt Niffty, you’re so cool.”
Niffty: “Really!? I’m also gonna let you play with KNIVES!!!”
Angel Dust: “-no, no you won’t. No. Both of ya’s listen carefully- the word of the day is ‘N’… ‘O’.”
Annie: “Knife starts with a ‘K’.”
Husk: “He wasn’t spelling knife.”
Annie: “He could've been if he’d started it with a ‘K’.”
Charlie: “YOU ALL ALREADY S-SOUND JUST LIKE A FAMILY WAAAAAGH!!!”
Annie: "So is this the true meaning of family?"
Vaggie: "It's....close enough."
Annie: “Okay. I like it here, tall mom. It’s soggy, because you’re crying on me, but it’s nice.”
Charlie: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- YOU CALLED ME M-MOM-”
Vaggie: “There-there, sweetie. Maybe try to not break our kid’s eardrums on the first day?”
Husk: “You’re still crying out of your one fucking eye-”
Vaggie: “Shut up.”
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It's very interesting that both Allura in this episode and Essek in 2.124 frame the Luxon as a pre-Founding entity that has been in Exandria since before the Primordials or the pantheon, because it really does complicate the idea of gods as a single unified classification. Discussions around, say, the Raven Queen's ascension and Artagan's godhood are interesting of course, but lend themselves to a hierarchy of being and power—mortals and archfey must be elevated to a higher position to reach a place among the gods—but the Luxon throws a wrench into the hierarchy itself.
Fandom discussions around the Luxon referring to it as an entity tend to feed into this hierarchy as well, even when framing the Luxon in a positive light, by placing the classification of god or deity as a literal higher power in a contemporary and very sociopolitical conceptualization of "power," positioning anything in that role as inherently oppressive, and I think this also does the conversation a disservice. A better metaphor, in my opinion, is to compare deities to the fundamental forces of physics.
The way that dunamis has been said to intertwine with reality on a minute level and the Luxon's extension of divine power without direct communication suggests to me that its power in relation to other deities is somewhat akin to gravity itself—gravity is the weakest of the fundamental forces, but much farther reaching, and therefore it exerts a massive influence on the cosmos in spite of that lesser strength.* This echoes the complexities of trying to rely upon a hierarchy of being in this discussion, because such hierarchies are always constructed and imposed, not inherent. Sometimes they are constructed by those positioned at the top, and other times not, but from any angle, regardless of field, they tend to be used to justify some moral stance and standing.
This is utterly negated by the Luxon's existence. Whatever can be said about it as an entity, it seems to be an inherently amoral being—it does not seem to concern itself with moral questions, and very possibly has no capacity to do so. At the same time, dunamis seems to be enmeshed within the reality of the Material Plane and the Weave itself, perhaps even the Skein of Fate—as described, dunamis may well be the very particulate matter comprising the choices of everything in the cosmos and how those choices intertwine.
The Raven Queen, as an ascended mortal, can look upon the individual heroes of the story and acknowledge them, validate them, but the Luxon has no inherent position from which to look, and as such evades any positionality within the constructed hierarchy upon which the questions of this campaign hinge.
*Complicating this metaphor is the fact that gravity's weakness means it doesn't exert significant influence on a micro scale, but I do not ever purport to suggest that dunamancy is a one-to-one mirror of the realities of quantum mechanics, not least because Matt is definitely no more a physicist than I am.
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