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seriouslysnape · 3 years

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Shattered

Draco Malfoy x Astoria Malfoy x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of cheating.

Request: Hi, I was one of the many who requested a one shot.So I wrote that I'd like for you to write an angsty one shot with Draco, Astoria and reader. I heard this sound: So she gets the flowers right? And I got excuses, I got used and shattered." And it stuck with me still 🙈 You can make the end happy or sad. However you like.Thank you 😍💚 @perfect-storm95

A/N: Well, well, well. This has made me hate Draco for the remainder of the day. Also, I’m gonna throw a little twist into this.

Word Count: 3,714

“All you have to do is say yes.”

It took a respectable amount of control to ignore the lurch in your stomach when he put his arm around her shoulder. It took even more restraint to avoid the heat in your throat when he laughed at something that she had spoken. And it took absolutely everything in you to ignore the way your heart ached when he kissed her the way he had once kissed you.

It had been a wild evening for sure, to say the very least. What was supposed to be a lighthearted night full of making fond memories and even more fun, you quickly discovered that you’d be having to face a part of your past that you had yet to come to terms with.

It had been almost three years since the last time you had seen Draco Malfoy. It had been three years since the last straw had been drawn and you left his home in hurt tears. Three years since you had walked out of his life, making a silent vow to never see him again, even if it meant going out of your way to do so.

You never thought you’d reunite quite like this.

Luna Lovegood had always been a dear friend of yours, despite the fact that she was a year younger than you. Her kindness and eccentric nature had appealed to you in the best of ways. The bubbly Ravenclaw girl had blossomed into a wonderful woman, and it overjoyed you to see her beginning this new chapter.

Her wedding was exactly how you had imagined it. It was far from traditional, but it was stunning nonetheless. Luna was a radiant bride, and you were beyond happy for her. Your good mood, however, tanked when you saw the blonde headed man at the reception afterwards. Even though it had been a few years, Draco still looked as he did the night you left him.

It was a real punch in the gut to see him there, and you were almost convinced that someone had spiked your drink. You were sure that you were dreaming, or that he was just a weird figment of your imagination.

He was still tall and lean, and you couldn’t help but allow your eyes to follow the chiseled line of his jaw. He was wearing his nicest, favorite suit that still fit his frame perfectly. His voice was still serious and assertive, and his tone was still as it had always been. Make no mistake, it was still the same Draco Malfoy.

To make matters worse, it hurt like hell to see his arm wrapped around the very woman that caused your breakup.

You wouldn’t deny that there was bad blood between yourself and Draco. Things had ended on a rotten note and things were never discussed, so it was only natural that there was unspoken tension.

Now, you were sulking at the table just behind theirs, not even interested in the engaging conversation happening around you between friends of yours that you hadn’t seen in quite some time. You just couldn’t seem to look away. It was like if you looked away and then looked back, he wouldn’t be there anymore. However, your silly belief was dismantled when his gaze suddenly caught yours. Yep, he was definitely real and sitting right in front of you.

Because you knew those piercing gray eyes anywhere.

You half expected him to pay you no mind and look away as if he hadn’t seen you at all, maybe even ignore your presence completely. But no, his glance locked with yours for a solid few seconds. Minds racing, hands shaking, hearts beating.

You were actually the first to look away, attempting to shift your attention as if you hadn’t just seen the only man you ever loved after so much time had passed. Even if you had been listening to what was being said around you, you were sure you wouldn’t have been able to hear a thing due to the thump of your heart in your ears.

A deep blush had tinted Draco’s pale cheeks, and he had yet to look away. Your mind trailed to the woman who was obviously his date, and it was someone you REALLY had hoped you’d never see again.

Astoria Greengrass was a beautiful woman. She was someone that you couldn’t help but compare yourself to. All the way from her voluminous hair to her impeccably pedicured toes. You had always thought of her to be the model of a picture perfect woman. But you never once thought that she was supposed to be competition for you.

It was a moment that would be permanently burned into your brain. No matter how hard you tried to forget (even going as far to use a spell on yourself) it still made its way back to you. It was a sickening sight, walking into your shared home with your boyfriend of 6 years to find him in bed with someone that had been under your nose the entire time.

It was a massive blow to your pride, trust, and your heart. Draco had pleaded with and begged you to forgive him and to let it go. In between your screams and cries, he promised that things could work out and that things could be the way they were before.

You had magic for a reason, and he could easily obliviate all three of you and no one would ever know. But he knew how dishonest that would be. And you hated dishonesty.

Astoria had ducked out of the house just when your fight was getting started, which was good for her because you were sure you would’ve done something you might regret later. You and Draco had fought for hours. So long that your throats had gone raw from all the yelling and your eyes were almost puffed shut from all the tears. You had told him it was over in a burst of anger and hurt, and left him alone in your bedroom almost falling to pieces.

And that was the last time you had seen Draco Malfoy.

His presence hadn’t totally disappeared from your life. His name popped up in conversations from time to time, and you’d often stumble upon pictures of the two of you during happier times. But what you had not realized until seeing him again was that he had not once left the safety of your heart.

You were still in love with Draco Malfoy.

Your experience at Luna’s wedding had taken a full turn, and now you found yourself incredibly uncomfortable. You shouldn’t have been so surprised that he was there. Luna and Rolf had invited just about anyone they had ever been in contact with. Still, it was throwing you for a loop that Draco was sitting right in front of you.

It was the beautiful, gentle music that began to play overhead that finally snapped you out of your daze. Along with Luna and her newly wed husband, a few couples had broken away from their designated tables to slow dance on the dance floor of the reception. It didn’t take long for the floor to be crowded with people.

As hard as you tried, you couldn’t fight the urge to let your eyes flicker back to Draco. It was almost like an instinct. It was a natural behavioral thing that was still as sharp as ever.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore, but his eyes were fixed on Astoria, who he had guided up from her seat and taken by the hand. A hot boiling sensation was building up in your gut at the sight of him leading her to the floor as well, holding her close and swaying with her to the comfort of the music. It wasn’t long before you were out on the floor as well, being spun around carefully by Blaise Zabini, whom you had been friends with throughout your years at Hogwarts. But your attention was far from Blaise.

Jealousy ran rampant through your core as you watched the way Draco’s hand rested on the small of Astoria’s back, his fingertips dancing across her. He looked down slightly into her dazzling eyes, a smile appearing on his face that was nothing short of lovestruck.

He had once danced with you like that. He had once held you like that. He had once looked at you like that. Granted, the situation usually involved the two of you alone in your living room under nothing but candlelight and music from one of your favorite shared records. But those were the moments that had always stuck with you.

The times where nothing else mattered but being together. The moments where the two of you felt like the only people in the world. When loving each other unconditionally was the only thing you ever wanted to do. Perhaps that was the hardest part of it all. The fact that you never knew where things went wrong. Your perfect relationship had crashed and burned unexpectedly with little explanations to why Draco decided that suddenly you weren’t enough.

Draco caught you staring for the second time, his focus visibly moving from the woman that was currently in his arms. He had this look of uncertainty in his expression, but as if he had already made his mind up. Before you could process anything that was happening, Draco broke away from Astoria, and he was standing next to you and Blaise.

“Mind if I take [Y/N] from you, Blaise?” Draco smiled radiantly at his old friend.

Your stomach hit your shoes seemingly. Blaise smirked, still as coy as always.

“Only if I can have a dance with your lady.” He grinned.

Draco chuckled lowly, allowing Blaise to take Astoria for a while. Despite everyone maneuvering around you, you felt like you were standing alone with Draco. You could only look at him, words failing to form. His hand trembled faintly as he held it out to you.

“Care to dance?” He offered.

Your head was screaming no, but your heart was screaming yes. You weren’t sure if this was a good idea or not, considering you weren’t sure what this was all about. But as always, your heart’s desires won out.

“Sure.” You replied meekly.

A million fireworks exploded through you when his hand touched yours, pulling you in to him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, his hands resting on your back the way they had with Astoria. He stroked your skin through the material of your dress, as lovingly as he had all the times before.

You were equal parts frustrated and desperate. Frustrated with yourself for still longing for him and missing him after all this time. Desperate for things to be the way they were before.

“You look wonderful.” He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb the peace of the atmosphere.

Oh, his voice. It was still deep and husky, but full of thought. It sent shivers down your spine that you hoped he couldn’t feel with his hand resting there.

“So do you.” You responded, wishing your heart would slow just long enough to get a hold of yourself.

He continued to hold you flush to him, taking in the scent of that same perfume you always wore. It flooded him with memories and remembrance.

Truth be told, you knew all along that you couldn’t get away with never seeing Draco again. Even if you hadn’t been together for quite some time, your circle was just too close to successfully dodge him forever. But this was not at all how you thought it would go.

If you were being completely honest, you thought you’d casually run into him in Diagon Alley or somewhere that you went often. You always imagined that you’d spot him from across the room and be filled with such a rage that you’d be too angry to speak to him or would explode into a huge fight scene. You’d storm out without ever trying to make real contact with him, and you’d try your hardest to go back to living as normally as possible. This was far from what you had ever dreamed of.

And you weren’t as angry as you always thought you’d be. Admittedly, there was still a pit of fury from the fact of his infidelity. But there was another feeling that seemed to wash that pit out completely. You weren’t angry at all really.

You were sad.

“How have you been?” He asked, stepping in sync with you to the music.

“Staying busy with work. How about you?”

You were a little shocked when he didn’t burst into rambles about everything you had missed out on in the last few years. Instead, he only shrugged as if he wasn’t too impressed with himself.

“I’ve been good. Mother and Father still ask about you.” He answered.

A quick glimmer of joy beamed on your face. Draco’s heart leapt with thrill.

“Do they? Oh, how are they, Dray?” You asked with eagerness to hear about his parents well-being, not even realizing the use of his nickname.

His heart swelled.

“They’re the same as always.” He replied.

You nodded briefly, changing the subject.

“That’s good,” You prompted, only continuing once nothing else was said; “It’s been a while.”

“It has. I’m happy you’re doing well.” Draco answered.

You had been trying to ignore it, but the cold metal of his ring was prevalent through your dress, and it told you everything you needed to know.

“So, you’re married now, huh?” You wondered aloud.

The blush returned to his cheeks, and he sucked in a breath.

“Yeah. Almost a year now,” He confirmed; “You?”

A flush of embarrassment and dread flooded your body. You didn’t want to have to tell him that you hadn’t moved on when he clearly had. It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried to meet and find someone new. A few boyfriends had come and gone since Draco, and while they were all great, none of them had captured your heart. Even if it had felt like it at times, the world didn’t stop spinning the night you left Draco Malfoy, so you knew there was someone else out there.

You just wished they’d come sooner rather than later.

“No, not yet. I suppose that I haven’t found the one yet.” You said in a way that was unintentionally hurtful, but still left a sting in both yours and Draco’s chest.

It felt like a lie to say that. You had convinced yourself that Draco was “the one” long ago. From time to time, you still thought that. Draco himself would confess that he had felt the same way about you. Spending forever with you was all he had ever wanted. Getting married, having kids, and falling more and more in love everyday.

He’d never forgive himself for messing all of that up.

Silence grew between the two of you. Something that never would’ve happened if the two of you were still together. You and Draco had never run out of things to talk about.

You remembered all the nights that he made love to you until neither of you could hold yourselves up. How could you forget the way he cherished every part of you as if it were crafted by the highest hand?

You recalled the way you craved his touch and how he could have you in a puddly, whining mess underneath his hands within mere seconds. You missed his touch. You missed all those times.

You missed him.

Now here you were. Like two total strangers who knew everything about each other. It was heartbreaking.

“I think about you. A lot.” Draco abruptly professed, his voice even quieter on the off chance that Astoria and Blaise might come back waltzing by.

Something you could only describe as pure shock blindsided you. You certainly weren’t expecting THAT at all. As much as you wanted to fling yourself at him, you knew this was wrong. Your head shook, feeling as if it weighed like a ton of bricks.

“Stop.” You meant to say as a stern instruction, but it came out more as a pleading whisper.

He chuckled at himself incredulously, not acknowledging your beg.

“It’s the truth,” He remarked; “You know, I thought that marrying Astoria would fix me. I thought it was going to fill the piece of my life that was missing.”

Your head was still rocketing off flight responses. Every neuron howling at you to stop listening. To ignore. To get over it. To forget. But you wouldn’t.

You couldn’t.

“But I was wrong. I was so wrong. It took me far too long to realize that you’re the only thing that could ever fill that missing piece. You complete that picture,” He explained; “You complete me.”

It was near impossible not to listen to what he was saying. If your heart were beating any harder then it would surely explode. Your eyes were shining with tears that you had been holding back for far too long.

“Draco, I...” You trailed off, your voice quivering.

“Shh. Don’t cry, my pretty girl,” He hushed; “I can leave her, you know. Astoria will never be what you were. I know it, and she knows it. She’ll never say that though.”

It seemed that you were growing more stunned with each word that fell from his lips. He was offering to leave his wife for you. He was more than willing to just drop everything for you. It was a lot to consider...but you weren’t exactly leaping at his invitation.

“We can start over. Just you and me. We can be everything we were before,” He said, leaning in to where his lips were just barely brushing your ear; “All you have to do is say yes.”

It was a hell of a tempting offer. You had a chance to go back to him, to make up for all the time that you lost. You could make more of those amazing memories that you held so close to you.

You could have a life with Draco once again.

As much as you wanted to cave and give him everything you possibly could, there was something that was stopping you from giving in to him. Because even though you had this chance, you knew that it would never be like it was before.

“I can’t.” You hushed out.

You could feel Draco’s heart sink. Now tears were brimming his own eyes, blearing his vision and causing a lump in his throat.

“Please, darling...” He begged; “Why not?”

You shook your head again, holding your breath to stop your own tears from falling down your cheeks. It was killing you to do this, but you knew it was the right thing.

No matter how bad it hurt.

“Because you and I both know it won’t be like it was before. No matter how many times we try to start over,” You told him; “You broke my trust. You broke my heart, Draco. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did.”

Determination and desperation flashed over his features.

“It was a mistake. A horrible, stupid mistake that I know for a fact that I never would’ve let happen again if you had stayed.” He pleaded.

You swallowed hard, forcing a sob back down.

“And if I had stayed, I’d never be able to go a day without wondering if that’s actually true.” You recanted.

Draco was shattered. He felt like he had been broken into millions of tiny bits that were thrown across the world.

Now he truly knew how you had felt since you left him.

“[Y/N], I-“ He went to say but was cut off.

“I’m sorry, Draco.” You apologized, eyeing Astoria and Blaise beginning to dance their way over to the two of you.

A single tear slipped from Draco’s left eye, the tear rolling down all the way to his jaw. The fate he had feared the most had just come true.

He had just lost his forever. And there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

All he could do was make sure he bared the rest of his heart to the woman he loved the most.

“I love you.” Draco proclaimed.

One of your hands came to cup his face, his head lulling in your soft touch.

“I love you, Draco.”

Before anything else could be said, Astoria and Blaise were at your side. She looked at Draco and back to you, you weren’t sure what it was, but she almost looked as if she knew everything that had just been said.

Without another word, you and Draco stopped dancing. Your arms fell from around him and his hold loosened so you could step away. Astoria’s hand rested on Draco’s shoulder as if to usher him away, but his hands were still holding yours.

His icy eyes looked into yours, as if to silently ask you once more if you would come with him. The look in your eyes told him that your mind was made up. You backed away from him, his fingertips only falling from yours once you were far enough away that he physically couldn’t reach you anymore.

Astoria whisked him away once you were out of their space. Both of you feeling much more empty than before. The rest of the night was much quieter for you. You kept to yourself, feeling as if you had been gutted completely.

And that was the last time you saw Draco Malfoy.

Your first wish of never wanting to see him again came true after that night. You never saw or heard from him again. You constantly found yourself wondering how things turned out for him. You wondered if he stayed with Astoria. You wondered if they had kids. You wondered if they spent forever together.

You wondered if they did all the things that you and Draco were supposed to do.

Your heart never fully moved on from Draco. And his never moved on from you. It was a reality you were never able to come to terms with, but there was one truth that you became all too familiar with.

Sometimes there just are no happy endings.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy oneshot #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #seriouslysnape

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shire-baird · 2 years

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I want to think about Orlane rn

Specifically about her instruments and music, and such like that.

I have once again gotten out of hand, so I'll slap down a cut

So Orlane is very much a social butterfly, she thrives on attention. (perhaps even needs it, now theres a thought for an angsty post later) She is always interacting with people before, during, and after performances.

I think that every time she encounters an instrument that is new or unfamiliar to her, she will immediately put down her own and ask to borrow it. Middle of performing, doesn't matter. She'll stop in front of you and (very politely) ask you what is that, how does it work, may I try, is this right?

But she's such a genuine sweetheart!! That people almost never mind! In fact, most musicians are happy to share their instrument, and whatever performance might have been happening has now turned into an impromptu lesson / jam session with each other's instruments.

And she's smart, and is Very into anything and everything music, so she'll generally pick it up fairly well fairly quickly! And it honestly just adds to her reputation of a fun, lighthearted entertainer perfect for all kinds of informal events.

ANYWAY

To get back on track to the topic of her instruments,,,

She'll occasionally cycle through a few different ones: flute, drums, mandolin, etc. to keep things fresh and interesting, but has two in particular that she always always keeps!

One is her fiddle, which is her instrument of choice, and the one she mainly uses for composing and performance. Slightly beaten up and worn, but lovingly cared for and maintained. This fiddle was the first instrument that she bought for herself with money earned from performing. The lovely old halfling she bought it from told her that xer joints were too stiff to play anymore, and xey wanted it to go a musician that would be able to continue to use it to bring some joy into the world.

While she has had plenty of coin and opportunities to buy newer and fancier fiddles, Orlane will continue to use that scratched-up honey brown fiddle. She swears no other rings quite so clear and sweet.

The second instrument, is a small panflute that hangs about her neck. Seven gray flutes, all very thin and made of metal, on close inspection, it is very finely made, moreso than almost everything else she has.

Not as featured in her usual repertoire, she uses this more for personal pieces and lullabies. For several reasons, this particular panflute is very special to Orlane. A going-away present from her arts and music tutor, she started crying and hugging them very tightly once she unwrapped it. Because it was their own personal panflute, and the very first instrument they ever taught Orlane how to play.

Gently calming her down, they told her that it was a reminder. Of them, and of a promise to share all the music, laughter, and kindness they know her soul is brimming with.

(( Not sure if the tutor will make many more appearances, but their name is Lehr Bowerthrush, pronouns they/them.

It was a very long and tearful goodbye.

Name comes from:

Lehr - 'teacher' in German is 'lehrer / lehrerin (masc/fem) they are nb so i just took lehr, which is also just german for 'teach', so

Bowerthrush - gnome last names tend to be indicative of their abilities / actions so, bower = bird that makes art, thrush = bird that has pretty song

badda bing badda boom, we have Orlane's beloved tutor of Art and Music: Lehr Bowerthrush ))

Taglist: @weirdfishy

#it is 140 am #ah well. i dont have a morning class so #orlane #orlane garrik #dnd oc #dnd ocs #trick rambles

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heavens-bookshop · 3 years

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Fic Asks Game!

I was tagged by my lovely friend @princip1914 and decided to give this a go while I’m procrastinating on working on a fic (the circle is complete)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I'm up to 26 now apparently!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

78,636 (one day I will make it to 100k)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve only written for GO since it was the thing that made me want to write fic for the first time.

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Frayed (5k E) - Aziraphale struggles to process 6000 years of repressed trauma

Dreading the winter's near (2k, T) - Crowley has a hard time with cold weather on account of being a snake

Apicius (3.2k, T) - Aziraphale and Crowley go on their first date post-Armageddon

Vipers that cannot be charmed (5.1k, E) - Crowley's venom has sex-pollen like qualities, and they use it to act out a fantasy Aziraphale has harboured for centuries

Treasures of Heaven (2k, T) - outsider POV, a moment between Crowley and Aziraphale as seen from the POV of a waitress in a coffee shop

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! I used to be very good at it but I lost my way a little while back. I would love to work through the backlog tbh

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, I haven't actually written much angst (despite enjoying a good angsty fic) so I am not really sure I have a good answer for this. In some roundabout way, it might be The Bible Project purely because it's a historical fic and therefore doesn't end with the two of them together. But the fic itself is lighthearted and silly so that's probably a dumb response. Maybe it's Pink and Poppy? A little ficlet I wrote that's set during The Night At Crowley's Flat and overall has a more melancholic vibe.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not written a crossover! I think they're super fun to read but my brain cannot write them, it's like my writing needle has to be in a specific groove and really protests jumping between others. But there are some great GO crossovers out there!

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully I haven’t

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, yes I do. Still something of a novice but I do really like using sex as a way of exploring some aspect of character or their relationship. I find it super fun to plot the smut like that!

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a fic, no!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

As Princip said on their version, we co-wrote a little ficlet where Crowley and Aziraphale are algae! (Elaborate-On-That-No.gif)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Aziraphale/Crowley for sure, I’m hopeless

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmm, well I hold out hope to finish all the WIPs I have currently published on AO3 (however misguided that may be). I have a very sad WIP that I worked on when I was Going Through It™ where Aziraphale is killed by hellfire and explores Crowley’s grief. I would really love to finish it but I also think working on it takes a lot out of me.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Oh dang what a good question. I think I’m good at constructing a narrative, I think I use words fairly efficiently, and I think I can sometimes write interesting or funny dialogue between Crowley and Aziraphale.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am resisting the urge to be immediately self deprecating and say “a lot“ (GROWTH.JPG). Realistically, I think I still struggle with structuring my writing. I’ve got a lot better at it, but when I read back some of my first several fics, I can see that I was definitely stuck in Science Writing Mode since that has been my only writing experience for the last, like, decade. I think I’ve managed to make things smoother and flow better for fiction, but I still get stuck. I also think that I struggle to make transition scenes interesting, and I’m sure I do a thousand other things that writing advice columns always tell you not to do.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think Princip’s answer to this was pretty identical to my feelings, which is that, much like writing dialogue in a dialect, it can be used to great effect when done sparingly. I think if you start writing too much of the dialogue in another language or with a thick dialect, it starts to a) become hard to follow, and b) runs the risk of turning your character into a stereotype.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I mean, when I was 11 I used to write stories where me and my brother had our own Digimon and we’d go on adventures and stuff. But other than that I used to be a strictly Fanart Only creator up until GO!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Gosh another good question... I think I’m definitely proud of several of the fics that have already been mentioned here, and certainly Frayed and Vipers cannot be charmed have a special spot in my heart. However I do really really love the SFW fic I wrote for the snake zine, Let Sleeping Serpents Lie. I think I got a good mix of soft and funny, and I also got to work with a super talented artist!

----

I have no clue who has or has not had a go at this point but I’ll tag @racketghost and @fremulon and @theoldaquarian and @forineffablereasons case none of you have done it yet! If you’re reading this and haven’t done it yet, feel free to fill it in and tag me!

#fic ask meme #tagged #whats better than writing fic #writing about writing about fic #hell yeah #long post

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dreamersscape · 3 years

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@panharmonium - this post is partly serious ponderings and partly just me having some lighthearted fun, so apologies once again in advance if the tone is all over the place, but you mentioned in our conversation that you feel "less settled" about how Yamato feels about/views romance and how it relates to him personally, and - big surprise! - once more I'm in the same boat as you. You might not be as interested in discussing this or might not have much to say about it since we're not given as much "evidence" in comparison to Kakashi, and if so that's totally okay, but I got to thinking about it idly and then I got sucked in and went back and referenced some relevant episodes and now my brain is Intrigued, haha!

Of course, what I said before about my 'default' being essentially "just about all characters are a-spec until distinctly substantiated not to be" holds true in Yamato's case as well, but at least with Kakashi we've seen on a few occasions how he behaves when someone shows romantic interest in him; we get a pretty good sense where his head is at in those circumstances. There hasn't really been a similar situation with Yamato, he's much more of a 'blank slate' in that regard. He went from being an experiment in a giant test tube, to being a member of a covert organization where he had no name of his own, no past or future, no life beyond his assigned missions, and then spends the rest of his life up until very recently in the slightly-less-secluded-but-still-covert sister branch of the previous organization where he now has a bit more personal experience with things like friendship, but his life is still mostly spent doing things like assassinating people, gathering secret intel, spywork, etc. I can't really imagine Danzo sitting down all the orphaned or otherwise 'stray' kids that grew up in the Foundation to discuss "the birds and the bees" with them. 😂 So my assumption is most of them had to make do with picking up what they could from any of their older peers on the topics of sex education and dating advice? Since Danzo was apparently still considering recruiting Kakashi when he was around 19-20 (and after he ordered him to be killed a few years before that, the nerve!), it appears that not all Foundation ANBU grew up there/had some scraps of personal lives outside Foundation headquarters? But obviously I would guess very little romance/dating if any was tolerated under Danzo's watch.

So then, cue me picturing 14-year-old!Tenzo asking Kakashi stuff like, "Hey, senpai? How do you know if you have a crush on someone?" and Kakashi just replies, "Beats me, kid." and pats him on the shoulder.

What if--and this is a very silly idea, forgive me--what if Kakashi first picked up an icha icha novel as a way to, like, find examples to more easily explain romantic matters to Tenzo, who can then figure out for himself how he feels about it all? And then Kakashi, who we saw was already a bookworm as a kid, gets drawn into the plots because they're light and frivolous and the opposite of the dark, unpleasant, life-or-death lifestyle of the ANBU.

What REALLY got my mind going down a rabbit hole was when I remembered how Yamato reacted to Sakura trying to convince Naruto she loved him now instead of Sasuke. Going back and watching that scene again, Yamato has one of the stronger shocked reactions/expressions when Sakura makes her declaration, and once the surprise wears off a little, he's still very taken aback and there's even some consternation when he questions, "What is going on?!?" and Kakashi has to physically hold him back from intervening. Yamato is continuously caught off guard by all the revelations made by Sakura and then Sai, with a marked difference in how he accepts the news that Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro deliver to them immediately afterwards. And then, he doesn't even get to be there to witness the confrontation with Sasuke and everything that happens and is said there! He only hears the abridged version. So it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if right before Yamato leaves with Naruto on their "secret S-rank mission", he quietly takes Kakashi aside and asks, "Are... are the kids gonna be alright? Sakura just tried to kill the person she loves. And I'm still a bit ticked off he ditched me again, but Naruto did just had a panic attack so bad that he fell unconscious from it! I tried to get him to eat some porridge, but he didn't have any appetite and he said he was having nightmares about Sasuke. And now he apparently seems okay with fighting Sasuke again, even if it means they both die? What do I do if we run out of ideas for ways for Naruto to train or other things to do stuck on a boat for weeks and Naruto gets so bored he starts thinking about stuff and he ends up upset again because the girl he likes lied to him and agrees with everyone else that Sasuke needs to be treated like an enemy? I'm not trained for this, senpai!" And Kakashi is reminded again of how much he regrets trying to reassure Sakura everything would be okay after Naruto's and Sasuke's first fight on top of the hospital, and all he can say is, "Well, if it's any consolation, you can't do any worse than me at comforting crying, heartbroken subordinates." And that's the last thing they talk about the last time they saw each other? They're both doing all they can to help and protect these kids but they both feel so inadequate on a number of levels and it makes me so sad! So then I try to put a humorous spin on it... 🙃

Anyway, I'm not trying to portray Yamato as this poor innocent baby when it comes to how romance works, but it struck me that he probably hasn't had much opportunity to experience much in the romantic realm, and then he's thrust head-first into substituting for his personal hero and not only is that first mission a disaster, but he's now surrounded by a bunch of pining, angsty teenagers! Maybe it's a good thing he might've not heard that the reason why Naruto completely lost control of the Nine Tails during Pain's attack and he wasn't there to stop him from transforming, was because Hinata confessed her love to Naruto and then was very nearly killed in front of him?

#my thoughts in this post seemed more interesting and funny in my head so sorry if this sounds dumb or reductive or unimportant #we can just ignore it if so #but yeah I'm perfectly happy to see him as aroace too but I know that it's mostly something that hasn't been addressed yet #I mean yukimi asked him if he wanted to run away together with her which is usually framed as a romantic thing e.g. running away to elope?#but I don't think that was the intention there since she was projecting her little brother onto Tenzo #and Tenzo was mainly confused by her in general as it was and he was all of ten or eleven years old so...#tenzo #yamato #kakashi 'n' tenzo #team seven #naruto

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writingsfromhome · 3 years

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Bad Timing I(.5)

A/N: This is the sort of backstory to Harry and you, I think it can be read on its own if you want, or before you read the first part too. It’s angsty af, but it has some death and sensitive topics jsyk. I tried to keep it concise but it got a little wordy as angst does. xx

Part 1

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About 12 Years Ago:

“So are you coming to that party or not?” My roommate asks. She was one of the first people I’d met last year when we started uni and even though we came from different backgrounds we remained friends over the last year, even choosing to room together again. She got me to open up and find the extroverted part of me that was able to enjoy uni outside of academics.

“Ugh, I’m volunteering for the voting booths for the rest of the week. Maybe if I can make it?”

“You’re actually doing that?” She scrunches her nose. “I don’t get it. You’re just way too nerdy to be my friend.”

“And yet you loove me,” I squeeze her against me and she laughs. “It’s my mom, she said I had to do at least one extracurricular so I could meet friends this year.”

“You already have friends,” she points to herself, and with her came her group of friends that’d quickly taken me in last year.

And my mom doesn’t like that I hang out with you, I think. She thought we partied too much even though my grades stayed decent. “She wants me to have nerdy friends too, I dunno. They’re helping me pay my tuition until I get a job so I kinda have to play nice.”

“Parents suck,” my roommate flicks through her closet. I agreed, this was just something I would get through to get through. Then they would leave me alone for the rest of the year.

Little did I know the person they’d partner me with at my polling station was someone who would be in my life for the next decade.

“I’m Harry by the way,” he’d said after we received our orientation and assigned the building we were going to babysit the votes in. “Second year.”

“Me too! I’m Y/N. What’s your major? I’ve never seen you around.”

“Law--well I haven’t decided if it’s law but that’s what I’m in right now.”

“Really? Law?” I was openly judging, he just didn’t seem the law type.

“Well what are you in?” He demands.

“Business,” I cringe.

“Really? Business?” He has a cheeky smile on, one that would become familiar to me.

“Well, you just don’t seem like the law type. They’re usually more uptight, dress way too smart for me.”

“I know, it’s like, we’re not even in the courtroom yet,” he joins in and it makes me laugh--how he could poke fun at his own people. That’s when I knew we would get along fine, and I actually looked forward to the next few days getting to know him better.

“I’m definitely telling my mum about you, she’s been begging me to make friends outside of my circle. I’ll tell her I’m friends with a law student.”

“So we’re friends already?” We’d reached our booth and began setting up the partitions. He takes over when I set it up wrong.

“Obviously,” I say. “I actually like you which means you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.”

“I’m alright with that,” he grins and I notice the laugh lines that are brought to life as he does. It somehow made him seem more genuinely.

We spend the rest of the time swapping stories, classes, rants. We check student IDs and hand out voting cards in between but it doesn’t feel like a drag anymore. At the end of the day, I invite him to the party my roommate was going to with our friends. If he was going, maybe I would too. He seemed like he might be fun at a party.

“Er,” he suddenly seems nervous. “I’ll have to ask my girlfriend, she wanted to hang out tonight.”

“Well bring her too!” I say excitedly. “Is she law as well?”

“No, she’s in the arts.”

“I like her already,” I push. “Bring her, my friends are fun you’ll learn how to have a good time.”

“I know how to have a good time,” there was the flash of his dimples again. “Text me the address.”

And thus began a friendship for the next four years, partying together, studying together (trying to), and hanging out in each other’s rooms. We would set each other up with other friends, double dated, went out for sunrise-hikes, and took long drives at night when we had to blow some steam off from being over-stressed, over-studied uni students. Our friend circles overlapped, the fabric of our lives eventually bleeding together. We were made of the same fibers, sticking together even after uni, when our friends got more serious about their careers. When they moved out of the country or to another city, we made sure to rent places close enough that we could still see each other often. And somehow, in the new chapter of our lives, without the partying and our other friends to buffer, we became closer than before.

We cared for each other--we didn’t deny that ever. And somehow that platonic love turned romantic as we depended on each other while we navigated adulthood. I can’t exactly pinpoint where things changed, but one evening our relationship was changed forever.

7 years ago:

“She literally wants me to stay until 7, and she was offended when I said no! I’m not even getting paid for that!” I was bitching to Harry about my shitty job.

“That’s bollocks” Harry shrugs. “Just say you’ve got family obligations or something.”

“I said that the one time she wanted us to come in on a weekend and she gave me shite work the following week! I just...I can’t afford to lose this job Harry.”

“That’s shitty, I’m sorry.” He takes the last swig of his beer. “Want another one?”

“I haven’t even finished this one,” I moan at my now warm beer that I’d been nursing for the last hour, too busy ranting to drink it. “It’s getting late though I should head home before it’s dark. Don’t want that nutter that hangs around my building to harass me again.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Harry suggests. He lived a 15 minute walk from me.

“No no,” I get up and take our dirty dishes to the sink. “I didn’t even ask about you, how was your day?”

“Same old,” he sighs against the counter. “I feel like I don’t fit in, everyone my age is finishing their law degree but I don’t think I want to.”

“I knew from the day I met you, you weren’t destined for the courtroom.” I pull him into a comforting hug. “Do what makes you happy, or what doesn’t make you want to say fuck it and quit your job to hibernate.”

“You really know the perfect thing to say,” Harry chuckles but he pulls me tighter against him. I stroke his back, reassuring him he’d be alright in the end.

“Y/N-” he pulls away to say something but freezes mid sentence. I raise an eyebrow but he’s still, staring at my face.

“Harry?” I ask, but he continues staring. “Hello? You alright?”

“Yeah,” he breaks into a sudden smile. That was weird--I make sure he’s okay before letting go.

Before I leave, I kiss Harry’s cheek goodbye--I was never shy in the affection I gave my friends and Harry’s bummed mood needed extra affection tonight. But what I don’t expect is for him to catch me before I pull away, staring intently into my eyes. The lighthearted energy between us disappears instantly as it dawns on me, how close we were, the unspoken feelings in his eyes, the hesitation before he presses his lips to mine.

I kissed him back then, barely understanding what was happening, before pulling away. I give him a smile but that’s just what he sees at the tip of the iceberg, underneath my mixed feelings churn away. My best friend just kissed me, and I wasn’t totally mad about it.

“It’s getting dark I-” I say as Harry says, “Sorry was that okay?”

We laugh awkwardly, neither of us sure what to do at this point. We decide to ignore it instead.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Harry lets me go and opens the door for me. “Watch out for the neighbourhood nutter yea?”

I stand in place, feeling the fibers of our friendship unraveling but feeling hopeless in mending the tear. “Take care Harry.”

I high tail it out, my thoughts going at an impossible rate as I sort out what happened. And we try to ignore it the next couple weeks,

We hadn’t made it official then, too nervous to face what this meant about our friendships. It was only at my sister’s wedding, that I realised what was wrong between us. I’d been mourning our old friendship, and avoiding him in the weeks since the kiss. But what I didn’t realise was that our friendship had been changing over the last year anyway, and getting drunk on champagne and dancing with Harry, while my sister celebrated the happiest day of her life, made me realise there was a cause for celebration here: a new chapter in our lives.

A couple days later, after a stressful day at work, I’d taken the tube to his flat and waited for him outside. He was surprised to see me there, not saying much except to open the door and let me in. As soon as he’d closed it, my lips were attached to his and we’d let our bags drop, coats, and any piece of clothing between us. After that night, we didn’t even try to deny how we felt about each other.

“I didn’t think I could ever be this happy,” he’s whispered to me after. I thought he’d fallen asleep but his whisper in the dark made me grin to myself. “Are you awake.”

“I am. Awake and happy.” I turn to face him, giggling. “Who knew this could feel so right.”

“Our first kiss was quite wrong though wasn’t it?” Harry says and it makes me laugh.

“That’s why I needed to do a redo,” I tease. “Can’t leave you to plan anything.”

“It wasn’t planned I swear, I was trying to be spontaneous.”

“Let’s not try ‘spontaneous’ again then,” I kiss him in the dark. He pulls me snug against him, I never knew how safe it felt. The safest I would ever feel, wrapped in the warmth with my best friend and now something else.

It was a good few months, testing the waters as our relationship underwent a transformation. All of our friends were supportive, but we never missed the glances between them. Apparently, they were waiting for this to happen. But as sweet as those first few months had been, finding out my mum was sick with a timeline was devastating. I came apart at the seams but Harry stayed through it all, holding me together. He’d proposed then, wanting my mum to be part of the ceremony. We had a small wedding, intimate but still magical. It was bittersweet, the amount of love and happiness I felt towards Harry and our loved ones around us as he said I do and as he took my arm and swept me across the dancefloor. But the amount of sadness crushing my chest kept me from being the weightless bride I always thought I would be.

Through it all, Harry stayed by my side. While we were hopeful, the day our hopes were dashed, the days and weeks I mourned. When my sister and her husband came to stay with their crazy toddlers and Harry kept them entertained giving my sister and I time together. I thought he was perfect, that I’d lucked out.

That lasted a few years, 3 and a half to be exact. There were months leading up to our split and we could point to a bunch of things that could’ve led to it. a) him wanting kids, and me wanting to wait or b) long hours we worked as we changed careers and tried to make our way up or c) how hard getting pregnant actually was. Maybe I pushed him away, or he didn’t love me enough to try and make it work.

I think I lied to myself, avoiding the tension creeping into the relationship. The tired excuses and time spent apart, the lack of usual affection, or casual conversations. I was an idiot, I realise every time I think about the end in retrospect. Maybe if I caught on earlier I could have fixed us before we fell apart. Maybe I could have saved us.

“There’s someone coming in Tuesday morning to fix the broken washer, will you be home?” I ask, still in bed and scrolling through my phone. I hadn’t meant to be up this early but Harry woke me as he got up and I couldn’t fall back asleep.

“No,” Harry responds, his back to me as he ruffles through the dresser. “I’ve got a thing that morning.”

“Well I’ve got to go in early Tuesday-I thought you might be home.” I say. I hear an edge to Harry’s voice but I try not to focus on it. He’d been a little cold all weekend and I was scared to think what it meant.

“You couldn’t be bothered to check in when you confirmed the date?” Harry asks harshly.

“I...guess not.” I put my phone down and wait for Harry to turn, maybe I could read his expression. Maybe he was stressed. “Harry?”

“What?” He turns, but he looks at me with no emotion. No stress, no frustration, not even anger. It’s the lack of emotion in his face that cause my eyes to prick with tears. Harry raises his eyebrows and I shake my head, untangling myself from the sheets so he doesn’t see any tears. I rush to the bathroom but forget to close the door out of habit.

“Y/N,” a kinder Harry appears by the doorway. His face has smoothed out the harsh lines, his eyes hesitant and cautious.

“What’s happened with us?” I blurt out. “Why are you so cold all the time? Am I doing something wrong?”

Harry’s face falls and he walks towards me but doesn’t touch me. “It’s nothing like that. It’s...I don’t know. We should talk.”

He reaches his hand out but I flinch away. “Did you meet somebody new or something? What are we talking about?”

“Let’s not do this here. Right now.”

“Why not!” I finally had enough. “I’ve been walking on eggshells for months Harry! I don’t know what’s wrong and I keep waiting for you to bloody tell me!”

“This isn’t working!” Harry raises his voice to compensate for mine. I’m immediately silenced by the volume, and then the words sink in.

“Is there someone else?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, his gaze on the hanging vines by the window. My heart drops into my stomach like a boulder, and I find it hard to breathe. I clutch the porcelain sink and ask in a surprisingly even tone, “Harry. Answer me.”

“What we have, Y/N...it’s dysfunctional.” He says quietly, meeting my eyes. “It doesn’t matter if there’s someone else, we’ve been fighting for months. Things aren’t the same between us-”

“Who is she?” I ask. I needed to know.

“That’s not relevant,” he shuts my question down quickly. “I’m sorry Y/N, I...I don’t want to hurt you. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t,” I’d pleaded. “We can go to counseling, talk it through-”

“I can’t Y/N.”

“Because of her.”

“No, because this isn’t good for either of us.” He’d walked up to me, cradled my face. “We’re not good for each other, not like this.”

“Who is she?” I yank his hands away.

“She’s...it doesn’t matter, I swear nothing happened between us Y/N. Knowing who she is isn’t going to help this situation--”

“It is! If it weren’t for her, you’d be willing to work on us--to see a future. You...Harry how could you do this to me? To us?” The tears come with no control. “You’re moving on before we’re even over. How are you giving up on us like that?”

“I’m not!” his voice booms in the tiled bathroom. “I’m not bloody giving up on us! I tried Y/N, so many times. I tried! You just keep pushing at me to be someone I’m not and-”

“I can say the same thing about you!” I throw the brush in my hands into the sink. “We were good! And you got it in your head you wanted a baby even though we’re young, oh my god Harry you kept pestering me to change my mind even though I told you I needed time!”

“It’s not like we could have a fucking baby anyway,” Harry says bitterly before realising what he’d said. “Shit-”

“There you go,” I mock. “I knew it. I knew you were holding that against me. And that,” I jab my finger into his chest. “Is what’s made you so moody, so mean and why we’re always fighting. You held it against me.”.

There was absolute truth to what I said. Last year, Harry had brought the baby topic up. I’d told him we were only in our mid-20s, we had a lot of time, and we still had a career to establish. But he would bring up the topic often enough that I’d given in.To make him happy. And months went by, trying for a baby. Went we finally went to our doctor, she’d told us why it was so hard, it could take us years she’d said.

Harry came home that day dejected, and left me feeling like a failure. I think it tore us up.

“You wanted a baby so fucking bad and when I couldn’t, it made me feel like a complete failure. And I told you that! And you did absolutely nothing to make me feel better. You held it against me, Harry! You didn’t even try to tell me it was okay.”

“It’s not so fucking simple,” he says, his cheeks flushed pink. Maybe it was anger, or maybe it was embarrassment from being confronted with an ugly truth.

“It is. And now you’ve upgraded to a newer model, maybe her version comes with a fertile womb.” I take the cheap shot.

He doesn’t say anything though. And I don’t know why that hurts more than knowing he’d fallen for another woman while he was still married to me. My best friend in the whole world had just broken my heart into a million irrevocable pieces.

“It’s a bunch of things Y/N,” he finally says. “That’s just part of it. We’re not...we’re just not working!”

“Did you even try to make it work?” I ask, swiping my sleeve across my face. “Did you ever think how I felt? How you made me feel Harry? You’ve been slipping away from me without talking to me-” I break off. I couldn’t speak through the heartbreak, the thunderstorm of grief threatens to consume me and my sobs are the only thing that manages to come out.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Harry tries to place a hand on my shoulder but I jerk away, moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Y/N...”

“Just go,” I say through the tears.

“We can talk more about this later-”

"Just go,” I say louder.

Harry’s phone rings again from the bedroom and he sighs. But he leaves me, crying on the bathroom floor. The sadness that was always in my peripheral consumes me. I’d carried this sadness for a long time--ever since I found out my mum was sick, the sadness plagued me. I’d neatly packed it up once I decided to move forward with my life like my mum would want me to, but now it comes back tenfold, marrying the grief of losing Harry like this. And I stay on the floor crying my grief away for hours, eventually crawling into bed and sleeping the daylight away.

When I wake, it’s 6 and Harry isn’t home. I take that as a sign and get up to pack up a few things. I call my sister who still lived in London then, and crash on her couch, staying there for a few weeks and ignoring any call or text from Harry. When I need to go back, for my things, I find him sleeping on the couch with the TV on, something I always found endearing. But I can’t afford to dwell on how much it hurt seeing him like that.

He must have woken from the noise because when he finds me, he tries to stop me and tell me that we still needed to talk.

“About what?” I ask, just tired now. Too many tears shed and too many hours laying awake thinking about the exact moment we went wrong.

“Us,” Harry looked tired too. He was probably throwing himself into his work with nothing like me to hold him back, I think bitterly. His girlfriend had probably already been to our house--his house.

“What about us?” I barely look at him as I begin folding away all my clothes.

“I don’t know,” Harry sits on the bed. “Don’t you want to talk?”

“I’ve got nothing to say, do you?”

Harry sighs, “I don’t know.”

“Nice talk then,” I say, shoving the rest of my things in just so I could get out.

“I just want you to know I care about you Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you.” He says as I pack.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. If you cared about me, and you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t have done this to us.”

“I wasn’t trying to--I didn’t mean to go and fall for someone else-”

“Just stop,” I cut him off. I couldn’t hear it, how the man I loved fell for someone else. I couldn’t break down here. Again.

He said he cared but it didn’t feel that way. It hurt more than I wished to admit. He knew what I’d been through and he still betrayed me, tossed my heart like it was replaceable. The cut he left in me ran deep.

As I leave he tries to talk to me, but I barrel past him. He still reaches for me and pulls me into a hug, I struggle against him but he’s too strong. He wraps me in his arms until I go still but it’s too much. A sob escapes me, and this time he lets me push him off and leave, my bag banging into my hips every time I take a step. As soon as I got into my Uber, I can’t stop crying. There was an infinite pool of tears where Harry was involved.

3 years ago:

My trust and my heart had been been lost in the war between Harry and I. It only took him a month to mail my divorce papers which sat collecting dust on my dining table until he showed up at work one day and demanded I sign them by the end of that week. I’d taken the day off the day I mailed those in, mourning the end of something that was once so safe and beautiful.

When a close friend calls me on a warm July afternoon, I don’t consider her warning that I shouldn’t check Instagram. That I still had Harry’s friends on my list. I open Instagram before she can tell me why, and see it. Harry was getting married, again. To the woman he gave up on us for. I try to zoom in on a picture without liking it, she was pretty...and blonde. She looked familiar--probably from his office. It didn’t take him long.

It was like someone had taken a retractor to the wound I thought had finally scabbed over. The physical proof that Harry had moved on is just the salt on the wound.

I cry myself to sleep that night.

2 Years ago;

The guy in front of me drones on about his job, mansplaining to me how a mortgage worked as if I wasn’t in finance myself. I excuse myself to use the restroom, checking my phone to see a text from my sister. She’d moved to Scotland this year, to where her husband was from, and I’d missed her terribly in the last year.

A little birdie told me your demon-ex just got divorced 🥂

I stare at the screen, chest feeling tight. I felt vindicated somehow, but I also felt a small bit of sadness. What a fuck-up.

Good for him I had texted back. A part of me wanted him to hurt the way he hurt me.

I went back to my date with a renewed enthusiasm. I’d ordered more wine and got so drunk he was actually interesting enough to take home.

About 1 year ago

“Y/N,” a voice from my past says, one that haunted me some nights. I turn as I exit the shop I was just in. I blink at the sight before me, Harry in a vest and hat. He realises what I’m staring at and laughs awkwardly. “I’m in uniform.”

“You’re...police?” I look up to his face finally. He hadn’t aged a day, although the hat he wears makes him look a little silly.

“Yeah I joined the force uhm...almost 4 years ago now...law didn’t really suit me.”

I know what he was doing, trying to find a baseline to have a conversation. But he was dead to me, and I didn’t want to invite him back in when I was finally forgetting about him.

"Seems like you dropped a lot of dead-weight four years ago.”

I watch his face fall as he realises I wasn’t going to pretend to be friendly.

“Seems that way to you,” he says cautiously. “But that’s not how it happened.”

I shrug. “So. I heard about the divorce. Must’ve been hard being put through that.”

I knew I was being petty, obviously I never got the closure I want (according to my therapist) and I wasn’t over him hurting me the way he did (also according to my therapist). This was how I got my peace, and it wasn’t the best version of me but it was the only one I knew how to be right now.

“Yep,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

He knew I wasn’t, I don’t know how but the way he stoops to my level I know he knows I hadn’t had a long term relationship since him.

“Not at the moment,” I say awkwardly. “Just focusing on my job...trying to get this promotion.”

“Sorry,” he seems to shake off whatever had come over him. “That was...nosy, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Having him be the bigger person sets something off in me, like there was an anger-bomb inside my mind where he lived and knowing that he was doing okay enough to be able to be the bigger person disrupts this calm I was trying to keep.

“Maybe you shoudn’t have stopped me to ask anything at all. We don’t have anything to talk about anyway.”

I turn around and start to walk away but he catches up, “I wasn’t trying to upset you-”

“Well you have a way of doing that. Please just leave me alone Harry.”

He huffs beside me, “After all this time, can’t we just bloody talk like two adults?”

I freeze and turn to him slowly. He seems to sense this was the wrong thing to say because he takes a step back. “After all this time? Are you serious? I was the one you left behind Harry when you went off to lives your best lift Harry. We’re not living the same life, and we’re not coming from the same bloody place. Don’t fucking patronize me and ask me to talk to you like an adult when you bring out the worst part of me. I meant what I said: I want you to leave me alone. And you know what, if we ever run into each other again, just don’t even talk to me. Pretend you don’t know me. I want nothing to do with you.”

He opens his mouth but his partner calls him from the shop’s entrance. He stays silent, letting me go. As soon as I turn the street corner I rush the rest of the way to the tube, collapsing into a seat and trying to sort out my breathing. It was a shitty feeling, knowing someone was going to be in your life forever because you shared so much history that even when that part of your life ended they were still there. There was so much apart of me, around me, that reminded me of him. And it felt so lonely carrying that around. I wanted to be done with him, I wanted my heart to purge him out. But it couldn’t stop carrying him around everywhere I go.

#Harry Styles #harry styles fic #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles series #detective!harry #backstory #this one made me sad to write #but ALSO #if there are any errors #no there is not

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merrysithmas · 3 years

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oh man. i'da given my left nut to see steve and bucky have a moment in wakanda. when steve said they were going HOME and he knew the coordinates to enter wakanda by heart aklf;dalshf;adsfh;fdsj THAT'S LOVE. thanks for bringing some fun and lightheartedness to the steve/bucky tag. everything is so angsty and dramatic and THERE'S A LIGHTER SIDE PEOPLE. IT CAN BE FUN 😅

UGH THE HOME THING KILLS ME!!!!

it's like... the EPIC POETRY of it all. like this beautiful and horribly mistreated person, who really really needed help and someone who loved him and had his best interest at heart to take the reigns for a minute (and to Steve this most-loved of all person), installed in this safe-haven that Steve is ensuring from behind the scenes with (🤍)T'Challa.

and meanwhile Steve's out literally hunted and hounded for YEARS with these likely extremely brief beautiful moments they get to spend together -- a fleeting night under the stars, an hour in a marketplace, two days bathing by a waterfall, a glimpse before hurrying onto the quinjet. and then he has to disappear again, all the while bucky is healing?? and Steve must have longed to be there but the very circumstances prevented it??? it's so beautiful and full of pathos like..!! my soullll. Steve was on the RUN FOR YEARS .

and YOURE WELCOME! tbh i'm not doom n gloom about stucky at all. i think it's obvious steve is gonna come back at some point and there will be an inevitable resurgence of stucky stuff simply bc of that. and until then i mean... LOOK at all our content?? 3 movies, pre&post war, etc. we are gorged on content. & that's even without saying that steve and bucky are still, as per right now, chillin in the same universe in mcu canon. bucky might very well be involved in/know where he is/be worried about him as far as we know ... it just hasn't been written yet!

so im here to have fun and be lighthearted and enjoy it all til we get more content!

like i get why people are upset w homophobic disney (perish disney) - but it's just not my vibe to be down about stuff i love especially. the gays deserve happiness and my blog is open 24/7 - we dont close, disney!!

so im here to be excited BOUT THE BOYS and laugh about bucky picking up old steve's viagra perscription from the pharmacy (the pharmacist's eyes are THIS BIG) and/or dream about their future as Space Rangers mmk???? ok.

#stucky #anon #ok!!#send me any stucky headcanons or asks bc im all abt it

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tuiyla · 4 years

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She-Ra’s like, really good, people

It’s been over a week since She-Ra season 5 came out and I binged it and this is not going to be coherent but I just want to rant about it a bit before writing some more structured metas. I deffo wanna write about Catradora and how I think SPoP is the true spiritual successor to the Avatar.

But first, let me just scream about how good this show is. I already started rewatching it, pretty much straight after finishing it, and I don’t rewatch tv shows often. The exception is Avatar (seen it like 15 times) and sitcoms. But She-Ra is so layered that I felt like I needed to watch it again just to appreciate the dynamics even more.

I already enjoyed the first season but it kept getting better and better. I’m not in love with the art style and it’s definitely for a younger demographic overall than my other favourite animated shows, but like any good kids’ show it balances tone well. It doesn’t talk down to its target demographic but also includes more traditionally mature themes in a digestible and entertaining way. Not all the jokes landed for me but as the series went on I learned to appreciate the tone and the type of humour She-Ra goes for.

It’s funny to me because this is definitely the type of show I would have rejected as a kid, with all the princesses I would have deemed it “too girly” and therefore not for me because screw gender roles. There’s a degree of internalized sexism to that, for sure, a rejection of the feminine because it’s always been seen as less somehow. But there’s also a truth that, at least in my childhood of the late 90s and early 00s, children’s media targeted at girls often had a poor quality to it, at least when compared to “boys’ stuff”.

She-Ra is not only a clever, heartfelt, complex story, it also transcends that binary of having to be either for girls or boys. I know most of modern animation rejects that as well, but She-Ra embraces so many traditionally feminine qualities while also going beyond gender roles and even the gender binary. This show is so queer, man, and I love it. It’s especially impressive when you consider the source material that was literally just the girly version of He-Man. I have no beef with 80s She-Ra, haven’t seen much of it, but this is such an upgrade.

That being said, I would have loved to watch She-Ra as a kid. I’m so incredibly envious of kids, aged around 10, who get to watch this show as they’re growing up. But I am so, so, so happy for them and for the future of animation that shows like She-Ra can be made now, that they’re being made. I’m going to go into spoilers soon, but just before that: She-Ra’s a perfectly enjoyable show in many aspects. I think the worldbuilding’s pretty cool, the story feels coherent and planned out, it’s lighthearted and so genuine. That’s the word that I ultimately choose to describe the series: genuine.

I feel like so much of TV aims to be dark and gritty nowadays, animation included, and though that’s slowly turning to dark comedy or a balance between fun and serious, it’s still the norm. At some point in the last decade, creators became terrified of being judged as cheesy. Even something like the MCU bathes in bathos to avoid being cheesy. But She-Ra proves that creators shouldn’t be afraid of being genuine, of basing characters and storylines on the simple power of love. Like, it’s such a cliché trope but I think that’s mostly because it has become stale.

Noelle Stevenson has talked about the importance of love in her story and I’m so grateful for that. Through, She-Ra, she’s truly proven how powerful love can be in a story and how it doesn’t have to be cheesy. It’s just so unabashedly genuine. The power of love and friendship literally saves the day several times but it’s always so genuine and more importantly it always makes sense that it doesn’t get boring. If the foundation wasn’t there, then I’d say “well this is just super cheesy”. But the show makes a point of building relationships and making them the focal point of the story.

Alright, so, spoilers because I need to talk about character arcs and THAT KISS and just everything. I really need to write more in depth about Adora and Catra and their relationship but for now I feel like it’s so important to appreciate how they’re developed. Everything from their shared childhood to their trauma with Shadow Weaver and the finding their way back to each other, it’s just *chef’s kiss*. It’s so well-written and believable. Ngl, I do have some minor issues with Catra’s redemption arc. Let’s just say that on a scale from Kylo Ren to Zuko, she’s definitely closer to Zuko. I also appreciate Shadow Weaver’s death scene and how it allows them to move on. I didn’t see that one as Death as Redemption and it shouldn’t be. Again and again the show made it clear that she was abuse towards both girls and nothing will negate that.

From what I can tell, the fandom really latched onto Catra, even when it wasn’t clear whether she’d get a redemption arc. I think that’s important, because unlike some characters in animation, Catra’s actions were almost always framed appropriately. There was always an understanding as to where she’s coming from, how she’s acting from a place of hurt, and yet her actions weren’t justified. They weren’t suddenly all okay just because she’s hurt, too. I especially loved in the season 3 finale when Adora was allowed to finally say no, to say that Catra’s actions were not her fault. That season as a whole was beautiful, like, episode three when Adora’s struggling so much and Catra has the opportunity for a better life but she still fails to choose her own happiness because she’s too bitter over SW and Adora? It’s poetic cinema. I love that angst, so well done.

It would be so easy to misfire in Catra’s storyline and either a) write off all the awful things she does because she’s just “misunderstood” or b) irredeemably stuck in her abusive environment with no hope of escape. They balanced quite well there and managed to handle such a complex character with delicacy. I’m quite happy with how Catra was portrayed because on the one hand, she’s painfully relatable to me and I assume to many others. The audience can see their own mistakes reflected in her character because we’ve all been too stubborn, done things out of spite, refused to acknowledge that we were wrong because we were hurting so much. At the same time, I always felt like the show gave me enough space to judge Catra’s actions and acknowledge that she was in the wrong. I honestly think I would have been a better adjusted teenager is if saw this show just before my angsty years, lol.

I’m going to write more about Adora at some other point but I love how vulnerable she’s allowed to be. Protagonists never used to be my favourite characters because they all seemed the same, with two major categories: the stereotypical male hero who can do no wrong or the angsty boi who can be shitty and the text still frames him as awesome. It’s only recently with series like The Legend of Korra and She-Ra that I go “damn, protagonists can be like that, huh.” Adora is a dumb jock who tries so hard and she deserves all the hugs in the world.

Also, Catradora? Breathtaking, amazing, groundbreaking. No doubt She-Ra needed shows like Adventure Time, LoK, Steven Universe and the likes to pave the way but still, it went there. I saw people be anxious about whether they were gonna be queerbaited, but I always, idk, knew? Trusted? That She-Ra would follow through. I didn’t wait six years for Bubbline to happen for Catradora to not get their big damn kiss. The series has been so effortlessly queer from the get-go that it just made sense that they were always heading there. I did see a gif of the kiss before watching s5 and ngl, that spoiler kind of bummed me out in a way that I wanted to be surprised. But even before I saw that I wasn’t worried. And the context of their journey in season 5? That cannot be spoiled by a simple gif. You have to experience that to fully appreciate it and that is the marker of good storytelling.

I understand that, though this should be the norm by now, Noelle Stevenson still had to be smart about how she approached the execs and she wasn’t sure this could happen. I cannot tell you how happy I am about what she said regarding how Catradora was so integral to the story that the execs couldn’t not allow it. That’s so brilliant, and it feels so natural in the story. Queer love saves the day and it’s not ambiguous, it cannot be censored because you lose a part of the story without it. You did it, Noelle, you funky little lesbian, what an icon. I can’t wait to see more stuff from her.

In other news, I appreciated other characters as well, like how all the princesses got to be different and awesome in their own unique way. Season 5 was great for so many characters, Mermista got so much to work with and Spinnerella and Netossa got so much more characterization than in previous seasons. Glimmer continued to be the third most important character in the story and I’m happy about all the relationships that also got to be canon. Good characters and dynamics all around, no wonder since the show is built on that.

Such a satisfying conclusion and one that makes you feel like this is just part one of a much bigger story. Such genuine, heartfelt moments, well-developed characters, complex themes explored in a respectful and digestible way, and such an unapologetically fun show. Melissa Fumero as a side character? Yes please. Catra’s new haircut? Heck yeah! She-Ra’s new design? Oh my.

I’m not even like, super into She-Ra, and I usually don’t write so much about things I only watch casually. But this show is so good and important that I had to rant. And I will write more about it eventually, but for now I needed to get all of this out. I’d give it a better structure but if I really get into I might never end up posting it so for now here, have this ramble of love. She-Ra, of all shows, deserves that.

#she-ra #spop #she-ra and the princesses of power #catradora #spop spoilers #my thoughts #that's pretty much it for now

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overthinkingkdrama · 4 years

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Jona’s Top 10 Dramas of 2019

A couple words about how I do these lists. Firstly, I only count as “2019 dramas” shows that finished airing in 2019, therefore dramas that started airing in 2018 but finished in the early months of 2019 have been included in my process, but dramas that are currently airing and will finish in 2020 have not been included. Secondly, this list is more based on my subjective experience with each of these dramas than my objective assessment on things like acting, writing and production values, though naturally I take the latter into account when forming my opinions.

Also: Yay! This year I managed to write a full review on every drama that wound up in my top ten, so feel free to click the link on each title and check those out if you want to read my detailed thoughts.

10. Hotel Del Luna

I have a somewhat Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with Hong Sisters dramas. Though a lot of them are not excellent, or stumble a bit in the execution, I can’t seem to stop watching them. And yes, I’ve seen them all. Something about their particular blend of fantasy, romance and camp just works for me. I do think Hotel Del Luna plays to their strengths. Somewhat like if they got to take a second run at Master’s Sun but with their dream budget, and it’s just fun. This drama is gorgeous to look at. However, it is Lee Ji Eun, aka IU, who carries the entire drama on her lovely shoulders with her mesmerizing presence as Jang Man Wol.

Bottom Line: It shouldn’t be this way, but it’s so rare to get a mainstream drama where the female lead is allowed to be truly dark and flawed, or for a drama to fully focus on its heroine’s journey through the whole run.

9. Encounter

I was somewhat disappointed by the ending of this drama, and I think that might have made me unduly harsh when I looked back at it earlier in the year. However, I got the chance to rewatch episodes with a friend and was reminded of the soft, romantic escapism of this drama. Ultimately that’s the reason this ended up in the list. I like that it plays the rich woman/poor man, noona-romance tropes entirely straight and I liked the quixotic fairy tale it was unapologetically trying to sell me. Park Bo Gum and Song Hye Gyo are a noona-romance dream team up that I’m glad I got to see at least once in my lifetime.

Bottom Line: If you don’t like your dramas slow-paced and highly sentimental then this might not be the show for you, but I can appreciate a drama that knows exactly what kind of show it is and tries to do one thing well.

8. The Light in Your Eyes

If there’s any common theme to these favorites lists in previous years, it’s that they usually include dramas that took me by surprise and did something I haven’t seen before. The Light In Your Eyes fits that description so well, not just because of oddly dark tone or the quirky premise it presents in the first episodes, but because it’s a drama dedicated to showcasing the talents of the veteran actress, Kim Hye Ja, with whom the lead character shares a name. Of the dramas on the list this one made me cry the hardest.

Bottom Line: The Light In Your Eyes is a drama that has a greater emotional coherence than it does logical sense. In fact, if you think about the plot too hard it falls apart entirely. But it feels true, and that’s why it hit me so hard.

7. Search WWW

In my review I called Search a “female power fantasy” and I still think that’s a good description. It’s also sexy romantic fantasy, twice a noona romance, and a corporate drama focused on the very contemporary issues of powerful search engine companies and how they affect the information we see and the way we view the world. I think any of those is an interesting enough angle to make a drama about, maybe several dramas. If this show has one major flaw, it might be trying to wear too many hats at once. But I salute the creators for trying to make us something different than the typical pretty boy chaebol story, and giving us not one but three female characters filling those typically male roles.

Bottom Line: I do believe this drama deserves more love and respect than it got from a fandom that at least in theory cares about women’s stories. But I also understand why a lot of people didn’t connect with the lead character or the business stuff. But for me there was something about the lead couple that rang true and resonated with me.

6. WATCHER

Every time I watch a thriller, I’m hoping for something like WATCHER. Something with deep, complex, gray characters and a story full of twists and turns that keeps me engaged and guessing from episode one until the finale. Add on top of that a powerful cast who can really do justice to these substantial characters, you’ve got a winning recipe. OCN produces a lot of dramas in this genre, and they seem to be more prone to produce sequels than most other networks. Unfortunately, that also means a lot of the dramas they make feel paint-by-numbers and empty on the inside. WATCHER is one of those shows that reminds me why I keep coming back to this network and this kind of story time and again.

Bottom Line: This is one of those dramas that has you second guessing yourself even when they come right out and give you the answer, keeping you in a perpetual state of distrust along with the characters. But it’s built on the strong backbone of complicated and dynamic character relationships, which is why it is one of this year’s best.

5. Be Melodramatic

The higher I get up this list the harder time I have boiling down my thoughts on these dramas to one pithy paragraph. Often even I don’t know what kind of dramas are going to steal my heart. I have a particular weakness for dramas that can make me both laugh and cry, and then laugh through the tears. Dramas like Go Back Couple and Matrimonial Chaos that have deep heartache folded into the shenanigans. I love a funny drama. I like to laugh, but that doesn’t count for much unless I really care about the characters and their lives at the end of the day. That’s what makes me go from liking a drama to loving it, and that’s ultimately what I’m going to remember about a drama when it’s over. Be Melodramatic is special for the way it deals with heavy subjects in a gentle and lighthearted way, and somehow without losing the emotional impact.

Bottom Line: Be Melodramatic is a drama with tongue firmly planted in cheek, lots of laughs, lots of clever dialogue as well as a meta look at the drama industry from the inside, but the reason it works so well is the vein of heart, love and loss that runs all through the story.

4. One Spring Night

It’s so gratifying when a drama delivers exactly the experience you hoped it would. One Spring Night was a drama that ended up on my radar on the strength of the previews and posters, which promised me understated, romantic slice-of-life. I’d really enjoyed Han Ji Min in The Light in Your Eyes and have been fond of Jung Hae In since While You Were Sleeping. The pairing immediately seemed to have potential, but because the drama was picked up by Netflix, in the US I had to wait until it finished airing before I could give it a shot. A lot of the time when that happens, I see enough of the drama through gifs and screencaps that my interest fades. In this case I was only more intrigued. I’ve still never watched Something In The Rain but watching this drama has made me consider that might have been an oversight on my part. And yet I worry that if I watched it now I wouldn’t be able to help unfavorably comparing it to One Spring Night. This drama is truly something special.

Bottom Line: Because of the restrained, faithful realism of this drama and the two leads who seamlessly embody their characters, this drama has the almost voyeuristic quality of peeking into something intimate and private. It’s a palpable and thoroughly involving love story.

3. Nokdu Flower

I can hardly recommend this underrated gem of a show enough. I know nearly every historical gets compared either favorably or otherwise to Six Flying Dragons, which is kind of the recent high-water mark of sageuks, and I’m going to do that again here because Nokdu Flower is really the first historical drama I’ve watched since SFD that is at the same level of quality. One thing that sticks out about my experience watching both dramas is getting actual shivers watching these charismatic leaders rally their followers around them, and understanding at least in some small part why someone would leave behind everything they knew, pick up arms, and risk their lives for an ideal. Nokdu Flower captures the fearful power of revolutionary ideas in the hands of common people, but doesn’t descend into mere jingoism or sand off the rough edges or try to white wash the dark parts of human nature while it’s at it.

Bottom Line: At its most basic level Nokdu Flower is a story of revolution, and one of flawed characters either finding their humanity or having it burned out of them in the crucible of war. As that description would suggest it’s not an easy watch, but it’s a good and worthwhile one and definitely one any sageuk fan should check out.

2. My Country: The New Age

Compared to the far more traditional and grounded Nokdu Flower, My Country is almost fantastical in tone and at times eschews logic and realism for set pieces, sword fights and close range shotgun blasts of pathos. That’s probably why I love it. The larger-than-life sensationalism of this drama is what pushes it higher on this list than the carefully crafted Nokdu Flower, because this drama appealed to me on a more primal way. It’s so unrestrained and epic in everything from the set design, the soundtrack, the cinematography to the characters themselves and the performances of the actors playing them. Lurid, melodramatic, passionate, intense, suspenseful, romantic, raw, angsty, dark...I’ve basically run out of new adjectives to use while describing this drama elsewhere on this site. Basically, My Country is my id on a plate. Bon appetit.

Bottom Line: While there are definitely misguided and flawed elements to the writing and execution in this drama, somehow all of that is swept away in the sheer pleasure of watching it. If it had been specifically designed to appeal to every narrative kink I have, they couldn’t have made a more perfect drama for my tastes.

1. Children of Nobody

I finished my favorite drama of 2019 back in January, and then got to wait around 11 and a half months to see if anything else I watched last year would knock Children of Nobody from the top spot. It’s a mixed blessing to peak that early in the year. On the one hand, there was nowhere to go but down from here. On the other, I’ve had a lot of time to digest this very heavy show, which is something I definitely needed. I mentioned in my original review of this drama that each of the characters is an iceberg, so much more going on beneath the surface than what we can see. And what I’ve realized over the course of the past year is that the whole drama is like that, in a way. It’s an iceberg of a story, and I was able to pour a lot of myself into it, to try to understand it, and that’s part of the reason it was such an emotional watch for me. I don’t know when or if I’m going to be able to rewatch Children of Nobody, but I hope I can do it some day because I feel certain I would appreciate it even more upon a second viewing. The fact that this is a murder mystery and a thriller is almost incidental to the emotional core of the story, which is deeper and more lingering than that. The secrets, once revealed, do not diminish the story but only turn it slightly so that you can see it from a different angle.

Bottom Line: This drama is certainly not going to be for everyone. I don’t know if I would say it was underrated so much as it’s niche. The difficult subject matter is naturally going to narrow its appeal. But I do think that dramas that require the most from me, mentally and emotionally, are often the ones that stick with me the longest and make me bend and grow as a person.

I sure hope you’ve enjoyed my top 10 list this year and I wish you joy, success and profound wellbeing in 2020. Thank you again--and thank you always--for following me. I’ve got great things planned for us this year.

Jona

#kdramas 2019 #end of year reviews #top 10 #children of nobody #my country #my country: the new age #nokdu flower #one spring night #be melodramatic #melo is my nature #WATCHER #search: www #the light in your eyes #encounter #boyfriend #hotel del luna

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kaylewiswrites · 4 years

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It’s Not Working: Plot Twist Troubleshooting

Do you like to play with the expectations of your readers? Capture their attention on one plot line while another grows in the shadows? Shock your audience with terrible surprises? Then you may be a sadist. Don’t worry, most writers are. We love to use plot twists to change the direction of the story in an exciting way. When done right, it can make the reader rethink everything that came before. When done not so right? Well, that’s what we’re here to talk about.

What is a plot twist?

A plot twist is a surprising or unexpected reveal or event in the story that recontextualizes the audiences’ understanding of the plot. For example, Star Wars: Luke, I Am Your Father. That’s a big reveal that changes the way we perceive Darth Vader, and the way that Luke thinks of and interacts with him.

Do I need a plot twist?

This is a really big important question. Sure, plot twists are fun, but they also take a lot of work to do in a way that satisfies readers. Not every story needs them. There are plenty of ways to keep readers engaged and entertained without turning the whole plot on it’s head. Take a look at your story. Do you absolutely need a plot twist? If you’ve already got a solid plot, and a plot twist isn’t already an idea you’re excited about, you can probably say, no thank you, and keep on writing. If you do have a great idea for a way the story can be twisted around, then read on.

What are some problems with plot twists, and how do I fix them?

Problem: The plot twist came out of nowhere. The best plot twists are built up over time, where if a reader went back and read the story again, they’d be kicking themselves for missing all of the clues. If there are no hints? Some readers feel it’s more of a cheap trick or ploy rather than a carefully built up plot twist. Readers can get whiplash if you change the direction of the story without any warning, and they can get lost if there’s no real context for the change

Fix: Add in some hints. Sounds obvious, right? But this is actually the hardest things about plot twists. Your clues need to be subtle enough that readers see them as unimportant on a first read, and but noticeable enough that when the plot twist happens, they can’t believe they didn’t see it coming! It can be hard to strike this balance. The best thing you can do is have critique partners or beta readers give you feed back on things that are too obvious or too subtle until you get a feel for the sweet spot yourself.

Problem: The plot twist contradicts something established. This can be the most frustrating. Unless you’re going for a very intentional, established unreliable narrator, readers are going to take what’s in the text as cannon rule. If you start breaking these rules in ways they never saw coming, they’re going to feel cheated. For example, if you’ve laid out the rules of your magic system clearly, but in a plot twist everything we know about the magic system goes out the window? That does not feel like a satisfying narrative choice. Another example, one I’ve actually read and gotten very angry over: if your first person narrator says, in their own mental narration, that they don’t know what happened to the jewel, and oh, no, where could it be, and then it turns out at the end that they were the thief the whole time, contradicting everything they said in narration? Trust me. You’re readers will get mad.

Fix: Work with the world you’ve created. If you’ve established something as true, with no hints that the characters might be wrong about it, leave it as true. You’re a writer. Use your limitations as a ground for creative workarounds. Or, as the writer, you can change or eliminate those limitations! You have all the power here. There’s no reason to lie to readers, because that’s the best thing about plot twists: people get angry because they can’t even accuse you of lying, you just sent their expectations running down the wrong path. Let your readers trust you, and then break their hearts without ever telling them a lie!

Problem: The plot twist undoes character development. A betrayal by one character to another is a classic plot twist. Who could’ve ever seen it coming? There can be great ways to do this, where you can see them beginning to lose touch with each other, or where, after the betrayal, you can see their conflict. These are awesome and great! But if there is no build up, no small hints? We’re back and problem number one. And if we can’t believe that this character would do such a thing without some bit of remorse? We’re back at problem number two. If you have a character developing more and more and then they go back on this, without any sign of conflict or regret, the readers are, again, going to feel betrayed.

Fix: Make consistent character choices. This doesn’t mean if you’ve had them developing more towards being a good character, they only make good choices from now on. It just means that the character feels something about what they’re doing and the audience can see it. Think about the ups and downs of Zuko’s redemption arc, especially after he turned on Uncle Iroh. Were we disappointed he didn’t do the right thing? Yes, but did we believe it because we saw his characterization through the whole thing? Also yes. Let your characters be characters, not just tools for plot twists. You’ll end up with a much deeper story that readers are going to be more invested in.

Problem: The plot twist betrays the tone promised to readers. If we went in for a lighthearted comedy and someone is brutally murdered and the characters are running for their lives and it’s not at all funny anymore, well, that’s another reader betrayal. Plot twists should change the context of the plot, not the tone. If you’re on an angsty contemporary romance, then it should stay in that genre. If it’s dark and brooding, let it stay that way. The reader picked up the book cause they liked what they saw. They don’t need a change in that somewhere in the last half of the book.

Fix: Make sure the plot twist is reasonable to your plot. They world doesn’t need to blow up in your murder mystery, and the love interest doesn’t need to ask someone else to space prom in your sci-fi action adventure. Let your plot twist work for your story, not too big, not too small.

Plot twists are not easy to master, but hopefully this quick troubleshooting guide has helped you get a start on them. Go forth and torture your readers to your heart’s content.

#writing advice #writing community #writers of tumblr #writeblr #writblr #its not working: troubleshooting for writers

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tangled-the-series-forever · 3 years

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Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon

As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

Before Reading

honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!

maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)

I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)

I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one

maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?

will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?

what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂

this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it

During Reading

Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...

“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)

Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)

Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)

“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)

first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️

“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂

she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!

okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless

names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!

the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂

Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!

the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)

I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭

I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...

“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)

pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂

Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her

So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began

I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.

Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰

Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...

OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met

I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔

“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?

I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂

about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂

me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃

why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣

painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t

Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️

okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔

the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)

“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂

the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍

woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...

I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃

Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿

Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎

didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice

Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something

I WAS RIGHT!

Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵

so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)

okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?

“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣

After Reading

so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)

I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting

There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)

overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.

I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)

If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂

#tangled the series #rapunzel and the lost lagoon #tts lost lagoon #lost lagoon spoilers #tts lost lagoon quotes #lost lagoon quotes

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lonestarbabe · 4 years

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What are your favourite Lone Star fanfics?

Okay... so I’m bad at bookmarking, but I’m going to do my best to compile some of my faves. Most of them are probably a bit dark, but there’s some more lighthearted stuff too. I’ve honestly probably wiped some good ones from my memory because they hurt too much... hahah.

Grey Zone by aewriting

T.K. seeks out a random hookup in an attempt to feel something... and distract himself from what he might be feeling for Carlos.

This fic is just really well done. It tells the story wonderfully and builds it up with just the right amount of tension and angsty undertones. Good Tarlos moments and a great scene of Owen calling T.K. on his bullshit.

Also, Uniform by this author is also really good.

When a fellow officer sees Carlos and T.K. at the club together and expresses an interest, Carlos struggles to define their relationship, and his own feelings.

The Many Names of TK Strand by tabbytabbytabby

It all starts when someone asks what TK stands for, and only escalates from there.

This fic is just really amusing and fun to read, and probably great for all of you who are wondering about T.K.’s name. This was written before we knew it was Tyler Kennedy, but it’s still so cute and worth a read. I laughed and smiled a lot.

as the world halts into darkness by Lire_Casander

Darkness.

He canʼt see anything. Heʼs surrounded by a black hole that threatens to eat him up hole, and he couldn’t care less. He must be in shock.

At least he isn’t hurting.

AN ANGSTY ONE! Some of it could be very triggering so be warned and read the tags. I loved this one because you can really feel the dark state of mind T.K. is in and it feels very visceral. I love this author in general, but I really loved this fic. It’s the third part of a series, so I’d recommend reading all of those if you want.

Pressure by HaleyDingle

Speculations for 1x08

Alternative version of my fic “Bottle”

TK gets overwhelmed by guilt and relapses.

Another author I’d recommend multiple works from, Pressure is a dark fic that may have some triggering content. It’s actually an alternate storyline based on the fic Bottle. I don’t know what it says about me that Pressure is the version I preferred (both are stellar though), but it just shows T.K. fighting addiction and inner darkness in a great way.

This Unreachable Sunrise by evening_spirit

TK wants to be able to feel. But feelings have consequences and sometimes it's easier to stay in the no-feels zone. As TK tries to balance Carlos, new friendships and his Dad's illness, he turns his back on the way the world around him turns to ash. If he keeps up the brave face and believes everything's gonna be fine, it has to actually be fine, right? Isn't that how it works?

A 1x03 coda that turned into a series of episode fills (but with a twist).

For whatever reason, I always read this fic as “The Unreachable Spirit” somehow combining the Title with the username, but despite this, I love this fic so much. It explores little moments of the episodes that we didn’t get to see, and it’s still a work in progress, but with ten chapters already, it’s really got so much going for it. It will have a lot of hard to deal with themes but written in a great way that feels hopeful. Also, check out As Long As I Dare

Coma Patient by Piper__b

At a riot, Carlos gets jumped and ends up in the hospital. TK is worried out of his mind and confesses...only to have Carlos hear?

This one is really funny... well not really funny... but it’s kind of funny that it features Carlos in a coma (written pre T.K. in a coma). It’s pretty short, but it’s a cute fic that shows the love between T.K. and Carlos. Lots of other good fics to be found through this author.

if we burn it down and it takes all night by SuburbanSun

When TK offers to go with him to a precinct social event, Carlos isn’t sure it’s such a good idea— the other cops bring spouses, girlfriends, families, not their buddies.

But hey, what else are friends are for?

I love this because it shows T.K. being casually brought into Carlos’ world and then easing into their relationship. Really fun, and I love a good pretend relationship fic (BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THEY ARE MORE THAN FRIENDS)

Silver Key by keeryscupojoe

It'd been a few months since TK and Carlos started dating officially and Carlos thought it'd be a good idea to give his boyfriend a key. Though the key originally wasn't used a lot, here's a few instances where it was.

DOMESTIC TARLOS!! That’s what matters here. I really love it. Just super cute and I think a good characterization. A nice short read.

birthday surprise, in more ways than one by evaneddie

owelle share an i love you moment

For all the Owelle stans. This is very cute. I really love a good I Love You moment, so this is very good. Also, a first kiss is always fun!! A pretty quick read too. I’d also recommend just thinking for some Marjeo action or breathe me in and hold me close, which has both Marjep and also Tarlos (it’s about the events after T.K. was shot).

i saved us a night in the sun by Madeofsequins

How to date the guy you're not dating in five easy steps; a.k.a. five times TK didn't go home with Carlos (and one time he did).

Okay, this takes a lot to get to the Tarlos, but I love the build up, and at less than 3000 words, it doesn’t take long to get through it. Well done story and just super cute.

The One Where Carlos Uses His Badge by tigermoo9

A guy is trying to talk to TK until Carlos shows up.

I really enjoyed this. Fluff, humor, established relationship-- good stuff here. Carlos doesn’t want anyone to be messing with his man.

The Blame Game by landy67

TK Strand really shouldn't be turned on by Carlos Reyes arresting people.

He also should stop getting into bar fights.

Or, a shameless fluff fest derived from the fact that Carlos would definitely blame himself if TK got hurt.

This is funny and fun, but also has some good serious moments between Carlos. It’s very sweet and well worth the read.

Safe in Your Arms by Strxnghxrringrove

Another Tumblr prompt:

Hi love! Would you be okay with writing something with and aggressive drunk guy and scared TK with badass carlos and badass fire fam? Because lets face it TK is a smol little baby and everyone is protective over him pleaseeeee love you

If you have an idea, send it to me on Tumblr- 911xtarlos

I LOVE THIS. Protective Carlos, asshole drunk guy, and TK= the perfect setup for a story. There are also some great Judd moments in this. It’s really cute in the end too. I cannot recommend this enough. At only 725 words, you could quickly read this great one!!

#asks #fic recs #fic stuff #fics #911 lone star #I love all the lone star writers #and I probably missed a bunch of great ones #but these really ticked the boxes for me #Anonymous #Asks

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more-pokeimagines · 4 years

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[ ✨ ] Here I am dear, sorry if I spam your ask box ;v; The request was a drabble with Volkner in the AU you did with Cynthia, Steven and Lance, with the tattoo and the angst ;w; Thank you again considering doing it TvT ♥️

I’m terribly sorry that it took me so long, dear sparkle anon! I hope you don’t mind too much and enjoy the drabble. It got a bit longer than I expected and it’s not as angsty as the other ones I’ve written but it definitely doesn’t have a happy ending, so I hope that’s fine too. ^^ Feedback is always appreciated!

Too late – Volkner x reader (soulmate AU)

Volkner didn’t believe in soulmates. He did once when he was younger because he was absolutely fascinated by the fact that there was someone out there who was specifically meant for him. But as the years went by and he grew older without catching the slightest glimpse of his soulmate, he started to lose faith. He often felt like the tattoo on his wrist was there to mock him, to remind him that there was little or no chance that he would actually meet his soulmate anytime soon. And one day, he woke up and discovered that he didn’t care anymore. Of course his friends tried do convince him that there was still hope and that he wasn’t meant to be alone for the rest of his life but the truth was that the whole concept of soulmates didn’t matter to him anymore.

He immersed himself in his work, spent hours and hours at his gym, always looking for a challenger who was able to compete with him. It surely wasn’t a coincidence that you walked into the gym one day to challenge him.

Of course he recognized you immediately since the tattoo on your neck was the sure indication that you were meant for him but Volkner honestly didn’t care. You were just another trainer challenging him for his badge and you would be long gone before you realized that he was your soulmate. To him, this was absolutely fine because he had no intentions of talking about your fateful connection.

The battle itself was over quickly. He had made some crucial mistakes and when you started to tease him for letting you win so easily, he couldn’t even bring himself to fake a smile. When he handed you the badge and congratulated you on your victory, he paid scrupulous attention to not touch your skin in any way. Then you disappeared, maybe making preparations for challenging the Elite Four next. And he never thought about seeing you again.

A few years later, the realization that he made a horrible mistake all this time ago hit Volkner like a brick. You had been there, right in front of him and he just pushed you away without thinking twice. The two of you were meant for each other, you were soulmates – and still, he hadn’t even thought about giving you a chance. Heck, he didn’t even bother to ask you for your name!

He felt awful. It was crystal clear that he probably ruined his only chance to get to know you and being the idiot he was, he completely messed up. And even if there was a chance to find you he wasn’t sure if he’d really do it. You probably moved on, maybe you found someone else who loved you just as much as you deserved. Someone who didn’t push you away just because he was disappointed that he hadn’t met you earlier.

When Volkner finally gathered the courage to search for you he finally started to feel alive again. The first thing he would do was to apologize for his stupid behavior at the gym back then. And after that he would tell you that he was your soulmate. And maybe, just maybe, he’d even kiss you.

It was a lot easier to find you than he initially expected. You had worked hard since he last met you and actually managed to become a member of the Elite Four after Bertha had retired. He vaguely remembered that Flint had told him about a new colleague but he never would’ve dreamed that it was you who undertook her duties.

After that, he somehow managed to convince his best friend to take him to a League party with him. And on that evening things started to go downhill pretty fast.

You hated formal League parties like this. Most of the time, you were forced to talk to people you didn’t like while smiling at them and pretending that they were the best conversational partner you ever had. It was annoying and exhausting and you caught yourself wishing that the hours would pass a bit faster because you just wanted to go home and relax since the past few days had been pretty rough. The last thing you needed right now was someone who talked your ears off.

Needless to say that you felt a wave of relieve washing over you when you spotted your colleague Flint near the bar. “Excuse me for a second,” you said and smiled at the woman in front of you. “I’m just quickly grabbing a drink. Can I get you something too?”

As soon as she declined you turned around to rush to the bar. “I’m so glad to see you,” you said without wasting time with greetings. “I’m stuck in the most boring conversation I ever had in my entire life and I-” You interrupted yourself when you spotted the blonde man who was standing next to him. Volkner, the Gym leader of Sunyshore City, stared back at you. Then, a smile flashed across his face. “Long time no see.”

For a second, you didn’t know what to say. The last time you met him he had been a reticent person but now he seemed to be much more relaxed and lighthearted. “Yeah, you’re right” you replied after a few moments of silence. “But it’s nice to meet you again.”

Volkner smiled again and it caught you completely off-guard. “I see you’re a member of the Elite Four now. Congratulations. I always knew you had the potential to achieve something great.”

“Yeah,” you said again, still confused about the sudden change of his behavior. Why was he even talking to you? When you challenged him all these years ago he hadn’t been so chatty. Back then you actually thought that your mere presence was enough to annoy him but since the only thing that mattered to you at that time was the last badge, you didn’t think about it too much. But now you began to wonder why he behaved like this – and why he was so nice to you now.

“How have you been?” he asked and snapped you out of your thoughts. He sounded genuinely interested – something that made you smile, even though you tried to hide it. “I’m doing great, thank you. The job can be a bit stressful sometimes but it’s okay. It’s fun.”Volkner nodded. As a gym leader he probably understood pretty well what you were trying to say. “It’s good to know that you’re happy,” he stated with a soft, almost tender tone in his voice. And the way he looked at you… you felt a shiver running down your spine. “Thanks,” you replied once again, just to say something and to try to distract yourself from the strange things you were feeling right now.

“Listen, (Y/N), I’m actually not here to make smalltalk with you”, he admitted after a few moments of awkward silence. “There’s… there’s something I wanted to tell you. Can we talk in private?”

“… sure,” you agreed confused. You had no clue that this whole conversation was about but somehow you sensed that it was something really important. “We could go for a little walk or something like that.”

As he nodded, you led him to the gardens at the back of the building. Small outdoor lamps lighted up paths around the flower beds, illuminating the colorful blossoms. It was a beautiful evening, a gentle breeze tousling your hair but you were way to nervous to even notice trivialities like this. What could be so important that the Gym Leader literally dragged you outside to talk to you?“Listen, (Y/N), I have no idea how to start”, Volkner sighed as if he had just been reading your mind. “It’s… I know we don’t know each other but there’s something I need to tell you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“I think I might be your soulmate.”

“You… what” For a moment you could only stare at him, completely dumbfounded by his confession. The tattoo on your neck tingled as if it was trying to tell you that Volkner was right. To be honest, you hadn’t thought about your soulmate in a long time since you had decided that it was best not to worry too much but now you suddenly felt like your world had been shattered to pieces.

You silently watched as Volkner rolled the sleeve of his shirt up to reveal the tattoo on his wrist. “We’re soulmates,” he said again, carefully examining the look on your face. “We’re meant for each other.”

“How long have you known?” you asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper. Your hands were shaking and you crossed your arms to hide it. Volkner avoided your gaze. “(Y/N)…”

“How long?!”

“… since you walked into my gym,” he admitted quietly. “I noticed it immediately but… see, back then I didn’t care about meeting my soulmate anymore. I felt like I was better off alone, that’s why I didn’t say anything.”

You gulped. That explained the strange connection you had felt when you saw him for the first time but you had always tried to convince yourself that it was only in your mind. “You lied to me for all these years,” you said and shook your head in utter disbelief.

“I understand that you’re hurt.”

“I’m not hurt,” you interrupted him before he could continue. “I’m angry. Do you have an idea how much I wanted to meet my soulmate while I was traveling Sinnoh? How much I hoped to bump into you? And you knew that you’re my soulmate but you only thought about yourself! You didn’t care about me or my feelings at all.”

Volkner reached out to touch your hand but as you quickly took a step backwards to avoid his touch you could see a glint of desperation in his eyes. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I know I messed up but I’m here now. I came here to tell you everything because I realized I made a terrible mistake when I let you go without telling you the truth.”

You shook your head again, taking another step backwards. “It’s too late,” you said. “I don’t want you anymore. I don’t care that we’re soulmates. We’re done. And I don’t want to see you ever again.”

With that, you turned around and stormed off, returning to the party. Volkner stood there and gazed back at you while his heart shattered into a million pieces. He had messed up. And now he had lost the only person that ever mattered to him.

#gym leader volkner x reader #gym leader volkner angst #volkner x reader #gym leader volkner #pokemon volkner x reader #volkner (pokemon) x reader

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baebeyza · 4 years

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Thoughts after 12 episodes of TF Victory

So right of the bat this show is more fun and exciting than Masterforce, which I watched before! The tone is lighthearted and fun, the characters have more interesting, witty interactions and dynamics and the pacing of the episodes is faster and not so slow as Masterforce had been. I am not saying Masterforce is bad for it’s more serious tone, characters and storytelling, just that I enjoyed the contrast to that in Victory. (maybe because I watched it right after Masterforce)

But gotta say the first Victory episode got me really excited! That fight between Star Saber and Deszaras was awesome and it had me thinking: “Yes! Some good fight between bitter enemies, right from the start!” And while I applaud Victory on most aspects, this is were I started getting disappointed. They deliver this fight Star Saber vs Deszaras at the start, but apart from that they are both the kind of leaders I learnt to dislike.

Star Saber is the respected commander and that’s were it ends. He gets respected, he respects his troups, and that’s it.

This a thing I also disliked in some versions of Optimus. Yes, as a person Optimus and Star Saber are wonderful, but as a character in a story they are pretty lame and not compelling.

The versions of Optimus I like are Beast Wars/Beast Machines, TFA and RiD01. In each show Optimus is more than just the respected leader. In BW he has a more stern personality and gets angry easily. Plus there are a lot of times when his team members do not respect him and go against his orders or push his buttons. Beast Machines Oppy has to deal with a lot of stress and has an arc about radicalisation. TFA Oppy learns to become a good, respected leader and deals with self-doubt a lot + some angsty shit and the fact that there are autobots who dismiss him. RiD01 Oppy’s saving grace is the dynamic he has with Ultra Magnus, the only autobot who challenges and doesn’t respect him as the leader - and that is important for all these Oppys - they have different dynamics with their troups.

I think it’s safe to say that character interactions are really important and giving characters different dynamics makes each character involved more fleshed out and interesting.

And if a character only ever has one dynamic with all characters, it’s just boring. And so far that’s what Star Saber is like.

Only interesting part so far is that he actually is the human Jan’s parental guardian, which, from a meta perspective, is fucking amazing! xD Most humans in TF serve the fantasy “First ones to come in contact with alien robots”, meanwhile Victory’s fantasy is “being adopted by alien robot”, I love it! :>

ANYWAY, even that aspect doesn’t really save Star Saber from the boring. (especially because his dynamic with Jan is just the same one he has with the rest of the autobots)

Star Saber is at least better than Deszaras because he actually does shit on screen - so lets talk about Deszaras and why he sucks!

It’s the same thing I disliked in RiD01 Megatron - he doesn’t do anything! He just sits on his throne and lets the others do everything, including coming up with plans! (he had like one maybe)

I keep going back to this, but it bears repeating: G1 Megatron is one of the best Megans, because he does shit! He is not the villain boss just sitting around letting his henchmen do everything, that is the exception. In most episodes he goes out and leads their evil scheme and that makes us engage with him. The same goes for G1 Galvatron too - he might not have the same level of scheming as Megatron did, but he was no less active. Man was active without actually doing anything, that’s a feat! I mean guys, TFA Megatron was more active as a half-destroyed head than Deszaras has been here! Deszaras doesn’t even have the good grace to be fucking fabulous while he sits around waiting for his henchmen to get shit done like BW Megs has (Not that BW Megs is boring, just saying that he sits around in his bath tub a lot).

So he’s just boring and frustrating to watch, nothing he does makes one engage with his character and just like Star Saber, he doesn’t have any meaningful interactions with anyone.

I mean check TFP Megatron and how different his dynamics are with his troups, or how TFA Megs knows his men pretty well and only speaks to Lugnut at first because of that. And say what you will about Megatron and Starscream, you cannot deny that their dynamic in most shows is compelling and interesting to watch. Deszaras and Leozack can be considered to be like Megs and Starscream, but while Deszaras surely influenced Leozack’s character, they still didn’t have any real nice interesting interaction with each other. Second in command here only means that Leo’s in charge during missions, and not being the Dragon who challenges the villain.

That first episode of Victory gave me hope that Deszaras and Star Saber would have some pretty awesome enemy dynamic, but so far they only interacted twice.

And this is were I have to give Masterforce a plus point:

Yeah, both autobot leader Ginrai and decepticon leader Overlord appeared and met rather late, BUT once they actually clashed their dynamic was really interesting!

Ginrai as a leader is really unique, because just like TFA Optimus, he learns to become a good respected leader. At the beginning of his arc he didn’t even wanna join the autobots, so it makes his ascencion all the more sweet!

Overlord (and with that I also mean Giga and Mega, the two people who transform into Overlord) is also an unconventional leader for the decepticons, in that he treats his troups with respect and like a family and actually cares about them. And while he does berate them at times when they fail, he never abuses them like most other decepticon leaders.

And then there is the Ginrai - Overlord dynamic itself, when they first fight Ginrai loses. And we see that he’s actually afraid to fight with him again, but pushes himself to do so anyway, which makes them form a pretty solid rivalry that last throughout the show. Not to mention Overlord’s development and Ginrai’s involvement in that. (which I’m not gonna spoil here)

Gotta admit, when it comes to Enemy leader dynamics, Ginrai - Overlord might be my favourite next to TFA.

And Victory does not deliver much in that aspect, at least not in the first 12 episodes. Will it change? I am doubtful, but ready to be surprised ~

#transformers #victory #star saber #deszaras #deathsaurus #megatron #optimus prime #galvatron #ginrai #overlord #transformer posting #note: yes I know I it seems contradicting to say something positive about beast machines optimus #but know that I think the show was compelling and good #I just didnt enjoy it much

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commander-krios · 4 years

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5. “I didn’t want it to end, I just thought you’d be better off without me..”

Something that should have been angsty ended up being sort of lighthearted in the end? I don’t know how that happened, but I hope it’s alright.

Included @highexarchs‘s Zhilae

The clouds over Dromund Kaas had parted slightly, but the sun’s light still couldn’t reach the surface, leaving the planet in an oppressive darkness that it was known for. Rain had ceased pounding against the windows, giving Helene a chance to step out onto one of the Sith Sanctum’s many balconies. Running a hand along the rail, her eyes spied Kaas City across the gap, now bustling with merchants and shoppers. From her height, they all looked like ants taking advantage of the slightly fairer weather.

Lifting her hand from the rail, she watched as tiny water droplets dripped from her outstretched fingers and into the abyss below. She had to leave the planet soon. A mission on Ilum waited for her and her crew. Another battle in this pointless war against the Republic.

She would’ve travelled straight to the war zone, but this stop on Dromund Kaas was supposed to be important. The Sith Emperor had disappeared. He was presumed dead by the members of the Dark Council, but no one was willing to reveal that to the citizens of the Empire. They claimed they didn’t want to cause a panic, but Helene knew the real reason. The Sith were too busy with their infighting, all trying to outmaneuver their enemies so that once Vitiate’s demise was confirmed, one of them could take his vacated throne.

None of them were worthy of it. She and Marr had watched the arguing and backstabbing with disgust, knowing that in the end, those who sat on the Council were worthless. None were fit to lead. They could barely hold together their own power bases let alone an entire Empire. No one would willingly follow them.

Helene felt a bitter smile slide onto her face at the realization that it would likely be she and Marr facing off for the throne. They were the most powerful and most capable. If they didn’t join forces and rule together, they would have to kill each other.

And that would truly be a shame. She actually enjoyed Marr’s company.

Lightning arched across the sky, illuminating the planet in its purple glow. With a glance upward, Helene sighed, knowing the rain would fall again soon. The breaks in the rainstorms didn’t last long on Dromund Kaas and she wondered if she would miss the dreariness while trapped on the ice world of Ilum.

Turning away from a view she’d seen dozens of times, Helene headed for the office where Marr spent most of his time when he wasn’t fighting wars. Her heels echoed with each step she took, the halls almost eerie in their emptiness. She didn’t get to spend as much time as she wanted in the Sanctum. She had fought too many battles on the frontlines lately and it made her weary. She almost missed spending time locked in an archive with Talos, researching the next artifact that they would hunt down.

Marr was standing with his back to the door, watching as the lightning danced across the dark sky. Helene knew that he’d sensed her power the moment she’d entered the building, perhaps even when she’d landed on the planet.

After she made herself comfortable in the empty chair at front of his desk, he finally spoke. “Did you feel it?”

Helene raised her eyebrows at the question. Even if he couldn’t see her expression, she knew that he’d discern it from her tone. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

Marr sighed, facing her as he did so. “The Emperor’s death. Did you feel it?”

“Oh.” Helene crossed her legs, smoothing out the navy fabric of her gown. Talking of Vitiate bored her, even with his vast history and power. She wished to move past his rule and look towards the future. “Yes, although it wasn’t as devastating as I’d expected it to be. I thought he was a world devourer… the ripple at his death was barely a nuisance.”

“Yes and it concerns me.” Marr continued to stand, his presence intimidating yet comforting in a strange way. “Something else is going on. I don’t believe he died… maybe not completely. Our Emperor is in the galaxy somewhere, biding his time… preparing for his return. I need to find out why.”

Helene’s interest was piqued. “Do you think he’s in hiding? Perhaps trying to rebuild his power?”

Before Marr could answer, the sound of approaching boots interrupted the conversation. Helene glanced over her shoulder, freezing in place at the sight of who stood in the doorway. A pair of golden eyes met hers, golden eyes set against crimson skin that she knew every inch of. The color was harsh against the gray metal walls of Marr’s office, but to Helene, it was the most beautiful sight. It was color in the dark world she lived and she would give anything to have that brightness back.

“Darth Marr.” Zhilae Mirai’s voice sounded hollow as her eyes moved from Helene to the man she addressed. “You summoned me?”

Marr nodded, crossing his arms over his strong chest. “I have need of your services, if you’re willing.”

Zhilae tilted her head slightly toward him in respect. “Of course, if the pay is right.”

“You will be well compensated, I assure you.” Marr’s tone was clipped. It gave Zhilae enough of a warning that the conversation about credits was over and that she shouldn’t pursue it further. The bounty hunter was Pureblood Sith, many in her family being powerful in the Force. She knew when to take a warning as the threat it was.

Helene turned away from Zhilae, unable to look at her any longer. If she did, she might explode , all of the emotions that warred in silence coming out in a force that she wouldn’t be able to control.

If Marr could sense her unease, he ignored it, his focus solely on the bounty hunter. “Do you know anything about the planet Makeb?”

“It’s in Hutt Space, but it was never important before. I’m assuming it is now.”

“The Republic has a sudden interest in the planet and I need to know why. You will travel with Darth Nox there and find out what the Republic is doing.”

Helene’s head snapped up, eyes narrowing at Marr’s words. “Excuse me? She will- what?” She risked a glance at Zhilae and saw that the Sith was watching her with a blank expression. Helene glanced away quickly, hating how her heart jumped with joy at the sight of Zhilae. “I already have a mission. On Ilum.”

She was sure that Marr was glaring back at her from behind his mask and any other day, she might have been worried for her life, but the Darth needed her help. He couldn’t trust any other Sith on the Council. “Your brother is already on Ilum. He can handle the situation there. She will be traveling with you, Zythor. I don’t care if it’s a problem. Your comfort is not my concern. Figure it out. And we will finish discussing our Emperor at length another time.” He met Zhilae’s gaze once again. “You leave within the hour. There will be mission specifications waiting on the ship. I expect both of you to do your jobs.”

He didn’t give either woman a chance to respond before he swept from the room, the oppressive force of his power leaving with him. Silence descended upon the room as Helene sat in the chair near the desk, unable to look at Zhilae. Even with all of the awfulness in their past, seeing the Sith was almost welcome. She hadn’t realized how much she missed Zhilae until seeing her in the flesh.

Helene would have let the silence stretch the entire hour they had to wait, but the bounty hunter had other plans. She moved closer, the heavy armor she wore creaking loudly as she did so. “Helene-”

The Inquisitor stood quickly, the skirts of her gown almost getting caught beneath her feet as she walked away from the bounty hunter. “Marr said we had to work together, but this isn’t forgiveness. I- you can’t ask that of me.”

Zhilae was silent and it was almost too much to bear. She wanted the Sith to yell at her, to tell her that she was being a fool, to just get over her heartache… anything that would make Helene feel justified in the rage that coursed through her. But she wouldn’t. Helene knew her well enough that Zhilae accepted this distance as what it was: her fault.

When the bounty hunter did finally speak, her voice was so quiet that Helene almost didn’t hear her. “I wasn’t prepared for it to end this way, Helene. I just… I thought you deserved better.”

Helene turned, her arms crossed and eyes slanted in suspicion. She was so used to being manipulated by those that were supposed to love her that any affection had to be fake. “I do deserve better.”

Zhilae blinked in surprise, the answer clearly being unexpected.

Helene felt a stirring of laughter in her chest at the expression, but refused to give her the satisfaction of a smile. “Meet me at the spaceport. I’d rather not become an enemy of Marr prematurely.”

Her statement further confused Zhilae. Instead of explaining, Helene exited the office, intending to put as much distance between her and her old flame before the laugh could escape her mouth. If she had to spend time with the bounty hunter, at least she could have some fun with her before it was over.

#long post #my writing #swtor #swtor fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars: the old republic #the old republic #sith inquisitor #bounty hunter #darth marr #darth nox #helene zythor #zhilae mirai #helene x zhilae #sith inquisitor x bounty hunter #highexarchs #greyias

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