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wisteria-lodge · 7 months

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snake primary + slightly burned lion secondary (bird model)

I'm pretty sure I'm a double bird, but I'd like to know your thoughts.

For my primary, the thing that matters the most to me in the entire world is my S/O, he is my top priority

I mean, I certainly hope you mean "top priority [along with myself.]

and I view everyone else as "mattering less" in a hierarchial sort of way. For instance, my best friend is just below him, and everyone else is below her. It's not that I don't like my friends and acquaintances, they just mean less to me *morally*

Interested in where you're getting Bird primary from. Because that sounds pretty Snakey.

(I would never tell anyone they "don't matter" to me though, it's incredibly mean and I care a lot about what people think of me)

Just random people? Not even *your* people. Okay, now we're starting to sound like an External primary. (Bird or Badger.)

HOWEVER, I've gotten the impression that snake primaries have a built moral system outside of "me and my people" that they can drop at a moment's notice when it comes to their people, but I feel like I'm the opposite; I really WANT to be the kind of person who's loyal no matter what, but if my S/O says things I disagree with I have to be true to myself and my beliefs and argue with him about it.

Interesting. You like Snake primaries, maybe even idealize Snake primaries. Because what you're describing is just like... a relationship. A Snake primary might agree to disagree, because in the end it doesn't matter /that much/ to them. But they'd still talk about it.

I can be pretty sensitive with him, but mostly when it's something I believe very strongly for personal reasons, though it can happen over smaller things too. I am willing to listen to his side and understand where he's coming from though, and use subjective language when arguing. And I think about it a lot afterwards, asking myself whether I was right to react the way I did or whether I should have been more mature, whether I was objectively wrong, etc.

Eeeesh. "[too] sensitive" "should have been more mature" "subjective not objective" etc.

You're allowed to feel things. You don't need to explain why you feel. You are also allowed to have a large emotional reaction over something small. (That's why I ask for small, normal, personal anecdotes, examples like that can be extremely telling.) And it just rubs me the wrong way when someone is praised for being mature, or told to be *more* mature. Maturity is a function of how long you have been on planet Earth, and how many decisions you have needed to make while there. That's it. There's no way to bootstrap that, doesn't matter how smart you are. The only way to become more mature is to live more.

I actually spend a lot of time thinking about my actions in general like this. If I come to the conclusion I'm wrong, I'll feel extremely guilty for "not being loyal enough", though I can feel this way even if I'm right, too (I am very hard on myself for no reason). I suffer from OCD, so my morals are made a lot more extreme in my mind, and only apply to me for the most part. So, if I was coming off as unhealthy, that's probably why lol

I can see that.

But, this only happens with my S/O because I trust him so much; I'm not like this around others, tending to stay quiet due to anxiety and keeping my annoyance inside.

That's burned secondary language. "I want to express myself, but I can't. So your two options are speak out (and then obsess over what you said exactly, and end up feeling guilty for speaking out even if you decide you were right.) Or say nothing, and let the annoyance build up. That's one hell of a choice, friend.

I don't think I've always been this invested in loyalty; at some point after hurting the person who was Most Important at the time, loyalty being incredibly important became ingrained in me. But when I was younger, I was a lot more passionate about injustice and got very swept up in the "sjw" stuff, tending to believe whatever I read or was told. My friends would often get annoyed with how much I'd start yelling about something, like incorrect word usage or if someone was insensitive about someone's identity.

I'm wondering if you might have a Lion secondary. You would definitely prefer to argue then keep the peace, and it sounds like when you were younger you were a lot more fiery.

"Tending to believe whatever I read or was told" is young behavior kind of in general, although it hits External primaries hardest. Although this shift from a more Lion systemto something more Snake flavored is definitely something a Bird would do.

And before that, I believed a lot of what I grew up hearing from my mother, about how my bio family only cared about "blood" while she didn't (I'm adopted and grew up not being related to anyone in my family, and therefore have strong opinions on people saying stuff like "real parents" etc). I always told myself that I loved my mother even though it was clear to me that she didn't love me back, and the only way I got out of that situation was finally telling myself that I didn't have to love her and that I had to prioritize myself over everyone else if I was going to get out. I ended up being incredibly stubborn and standing my ground and repeating to myself over and over not to listen to her. Making my own judgements and forming my own opinions came with time and maturity, and I'm hoping my temper continues to dampen and I become better at patience in the future.

This is a story about a Lion secondary protecting you. This, when it really comes down to it, are what Lion secondaries are *for.* That voice that says "This far and no further. I will be stubborn, I will let anything else fall away. It doesn't matter what comes at me, I am just going to repeat what I'm doing until I get OUT." The world needs people like that.

But now you're in a less dire situation. Your Lion secondary is still protecting you, but you need some more nuanced problem-solving techniques as well.

I am closer to the rest of my family now that they have finally cut her out of their lives, because she hurt all of them. Despite her having clear favorites among us kids and having a hierarchy, and me hating that, I do the same thing. I try not to make it as obvious, though.

You're absolutely allowed to have favorite people in your life. You're even allowed to let if effect how you treat them, because everyone involved has a comparable level of power. If they have a problem, they can leave or take it up with you. A child can't do that, which is why treating specifically a child with obvious favoritism is so awful.

(I will note that I've picked up some of my S/O's morals, but only because I care about what he'd think if I did things like kill a bug instead of putting it outside or if I wasted food, etc)

Could be a Bird with a Snakey system. Could also just be a Snake.

I would say that, between abandoning my morals and abandoning my people(/person), that the latter makes me feel way more guilty.

You definitely seem to have a kind of complicated relationship with Loyalists, and Snake primaries in general. On one hand, your mother seems to be kind of a toxic Snake, and you want to make sure that you never do hierarchies in the way that *she* did. On the other hand, you kind of idolize Snakes and wish that you were a Snake, or a better Snake. You also say some things that sound kind of Bird primary, sure. But you say a LOT of things that sound Snake.

Here's my take on you. I think you're a Snake primary who spent some time kind of burned. You might have even done a controlled Burn on purpose to get away from your mother - that is absolutely something that Snakes do, and honestly it's often pretty healthy as long as they don't *stay* burned. I think that when you didn't trust your Snake you built something that felt a little more *constructed,* and you are still at a place where you think you should be a better Snake than you are (which is something I see with slightly burnt primaries.) I also think that in the places where you look really Lion is probably just your secondary getting loud.

I am pretty selfish with people when I first meet them; I often only want to engage in my own interests, and only start caring about the other person's interests and becoming more selfless once we grow closer and I see them as important to me.

Don't beat yourself up, this is just people stuff.

However, I admire people who are able to just care about everyone and be so selfless and loving. I genuinely have no idea how they do that; I have no interest in loving absolutely everyone, I just think it's very impressive that they can. I feel like they are better people than me.

It is honestly very classic for Snake primaries to think that Badgers are Just Better.

As for my secondary, I used to be more impulsive and bad at planning ahead due to a combination of immaturity and ADHD.

I feel like I'm not very good at originality and creating new things, but I AM good at taking something and modifying or improving upon it. I am often thinking of ways I can make something that's meh or already pretty good and make it even better, and will end up fiddling with it to accomplish this. This includes image editing, messing with Tumblr themes, adding things to recipes, etc. I've also learned a lot of things and picked up new skills by doing this!

This is a very Improvisational way of talking about problem solving. Lions and Snakes will often talk about wanting something that they can *respond* to, and can easily get stuck when they have to begin in a void.

I dislike lying, especially when it comes to myself, but I do tend to have "different" sides I show depending on the person I'm interacting with. I am fully myself with my S/O, and mostly myself with my best friend, and everyone else gets a watered down version of me.

This is the Lion secondary "dimmer switch" or "volume dial" metaphor. There's you, and there's slightly toned-down versions of you.

It depends on what I think they're expecting of me or how I want them to perceive me, and I may exaggerate certain parts of myself a little, but I don't l pretend to be something I'm not. And I'm making an effort to be more Me and embrace myself more after putting myself into a box for a long time.

Good. I think that's going to be really good for you.

But, after moving out and getting older, I've had to hone my ability to plan ahead and prepare for things to avoid potential problems, or just make things easier for future me. I am often thinking of plans which usually involve more abstract, unusual ways of going about things based on what is available in terms of skills, resources, people I can ask for help, etc. I've also heard that "collecting shiny people" is something bird secondaries do, and that's something I'm super known for and partially plays into the "hierarchy" stuff I mentioned earlier. I love learning about people and analyzing them; personality typologies are actually a huge interest of mine! and I love being able to know and read people.

It sounds like after moving out you built yourself a lovely Bird secondary model that you really enjoy. Good for you.

I think that's all I have to say. Thanks and hope you're having a good day!

You are very welcome, and I am having a nice day.

#snake lion #lion secondary #snake primary #bird secondary model #shc #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #sortme

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mostlikelytofangirl · 5 months

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I've read fic where JGY was abusive and found it in character. I don't think 'abusive' and 'not abusive' are two separate categories of people. Under the right circumstances, any person or character can exhibit abusive behaviors and, with a long enough time frame and no interventions, their relationship could certainly become abusive.

If the word 'abuse' seems so incompatible with our beloved villains, can we really say we love them as villains if we can't love and acknowledge their capacity for harm?

-Regular Anon

Oh hi there, anon! Nice to see you again :D. Sorry this took so long in getting answered, I've been having a case of Real Life(tm) recently orz.

Anyways, I'm guessing this is maybe apropos of this other ask? In any case, let me just go part by part starting with the last statement bc I actually agree there with you.

If we claim to like a character, there's really no point in ignoring key elements of their personality, right? If we like villains, we like them bc of the fucked up shit they do and how very sexy of them it was, not in spite of. That's why even when I can indulge myself in the occasional fic with a softer canon WRH (bc food be scarce and every treat is appreciated :'))), I don't fully subscribe to that bc that's just not how he is. Even in AUs there just has to be some of his og assholery or at least make the changes make sense.

But here's where my first caveat comes, and it's something I mentioned in my other reply too. The characters' circumstances.

Now, idk what kind of fic you read, and at the end of the day, if it works for you, that's totally cool! I just would have to assume that JGY's life still had some level of shittery to it, or he was going through someting bc really, this is the character that saved a perfect stranger in the middle of the war without any ulterior motive, nothing to offer, and risking his own safety just bc it was the right thing to do.

The entire point of MY/JGY is that he was "corrupted" by a society that left him with only two options: accept your fate as a bottom feeder, or cheat the system in whatever way you can bc you are always going to be inherently disadvantaged. And here's my second caveat:

JGY doesn't read like a villain to me. An antagonist, maybe, but an actual force of evil in complete oposition to the core values of the heroes and actively trying to hurt/stop them? Not really.

So it's not only that, but also the fact that he's a nurturing person at his core that lead me to disagree with the notion that he would be purposedly abusive towards another person unless there's very pressing circumstances that would make it so that his own well-being actually depends on somehow damaging this other individual.

Sorry, but I just don't see it working in any other way.

That being said, yes, you are right, interpersonal relationships are much more complicated than just abusers and victims (despite what some corners of tiktok and twt might say lol). As I also said in that other ask, at some point in our lives, we are all going to be the assholes and even the villains in someone else's story; we are going to hurt those close to use and we are going to make mistakes bc we are humans. But there's a difference between toxic behavior and being a toxic person. So while being a dick bc you had a bad day or bc there's no good communication going on can totally happen to everyone, that's not the same as intentionally hurting and manipulating someone in a systemic fashion fully designed to keep them trapped with you.

THAT is something ingrained in the person at hand, and while there's an entire conversation to be had about nature vs nurture, in JGY's particular case there has been no examples whatsoever in canon to even suggest that that's the direction his character skews towards. On the contrary, he has sacrificed his own desires and needs for those he cares about: being a model husband to QS and never taking a concubine, helping rebuilt Cloud Recesses and creating the watchtowers even if it was unpopular, going to NHS' aid whenever he called despite it being more work for him, never hurting Madam Jin in spite of how she did hurt him, etc. By the end even, pushing LXC away when the man had clearly accepted death with him.

Again, idk the details of the fic you are refering to, for all I know, it's an entire exploration of JGY spiralling down an even darker and more desperate place than in canon, and him becoming abusive towards someone bc, idk, that's the only way in which he can feel in power when his entire life depends on others is the whole point of the thing. And that's perfectly valid too!! What's fiction for if not to explore and go beyond??

I just felt like I should clarify that, while I agree on principle with the villain statement, I don't think it applies to JGY unless there are specific factors playing along, and if those are not met, I personally wouldn't find an abusive!JGY portrayal accurate or in-character.

But once again, that's just my position and I have my preferences and my biases like any other person.

#replies #mdzs #jin guangyao #tbh I think jiggy would first kill the person than cause them unnecessary pain #bc what reason would he have for hurting someone in a close relationship with him??#if they become impossible to deal with (a la NMJ) then it's just easier to get rid of them #at his core he is also very pragmatic #he only ever wants safety and respect man #he won't even force the few ppl who care about him to stay #he gave lxc the token back instead of dragging him to his mess #and I know murder meowmeow is like a meme at this point #but I honest to god can't see him as the villain of the story #of nhs' story maybe #but nhs is not the protag and jiggy was doing zero nepharious deeds when canon happened #he was the target of a very personal revenge not a big baddie to be destroyed a la wrh #that's not a villain to me tbh

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irrigos · 10 months

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OKAY im gonna talk about the thing in mask of the rose thats been consuming my thoughts. For people who might know the scene I'm talking about, it's something Ivy tells you, and the game keeps giving you options to stop the conversation because it is, genuinely, pretty disturbing. its got horror elements that have been in FL before, but never in this particular way, and as i said in my last post, seeing the content warnings will probably give away the broad strokes. im gonna put them in the tags, and hopefully if you have them filtered, then you wont see this at all? idk. i genuinely am sorry if you see this and didnt want to, but i have things i wanted to say about it

okay so in mask of the rose, Ivy gets really into doing Hallowmas stuff, accepting peoples confessions and secrets, and occasionally doing stuff to their memories (i think there was something in Zubmariner where theres a port made up of peoples regrets?? it might be connected to that, but i never played zumbariner. it might also be something Midnighter adjacent. or it might be its own thing!! i just dont know)

Ivy can tell you about a confession she received, which is incredibly disturbing. To make it quick: a womans child died, and times being hard as they are, she ate it. But then David returned from the dead fully intact, and everyone learned that death isnt permanent. Ivy had to remove this womans memory of what she'd done

like i said, while FL as a franchise has included (maybe too much?) cannibalism, and certainly a decent amount of child death, it's never been... like this before. it was disturbing in a way nothing else ever had been in any of the games

...so is it bad to say that i kinda liked it?

cannibalism has come up in fallen london often, but its usually kind of flippant about it imo. like, it's a thing that debauched rich people do sometimes, or starving zailors do, or deranged cultsits do, but not people like US. random women in london dont get that desperate!!! until they do.

and when cannibalism appears in the games, its usually written so... idk distantly? that i really never feel much of anything for it, except almost bored. most of the time when it shows up, im like "wow cannibalism. again. how original 🙄 pretty sure thats the only horrific twist fbg even knows exists". i dont think it's bad, the way its usually written. it's not like i even WANT ever lurid detail, and i think it would be pretty bad for me and for the writers to do that. but the side effect is that, for me personally anyway, it never really has the weight i think they probably want it to

but in mask of the rose? its a visual novel, so youre not given that same kind of distance you get in fallen london. it affected me in a way that other, similar horrific moments very much did not. I mean, i played all of seeking and i just thought it was boring for the most part!!!!

i also think it really gets at the horror of "you cant die in the neath". i mean, this woman did something horrible and taboo out of desperation, and then had to learn that it was also entirely unnecessary. she could have just waited! how could she possibly live with herself, having done this? but also she cant die! what option is there for her, other than to excise the memory entirely?

and also i think it emphasizes why cannibalism would be especially taboo and especially horrific in the neath. if death is rarely permanent, i would think defiling someones corpse would be seen as especially abhorrent

anyway. it was a moment of pure horror and i kind of liked that it was in the game. its a little tonally out of step with the rest of motr, tho, lol. but it kinda makes me wish theyd leaned more in on the horror of the fall. you as the player character want for very little, because you always have food and a place to sleep, and the Masters are (allegedly) organizing and distributing resources. but also... i mean clearly thats not benefitting everyone, and i think thats genuinely really interesting

.......... although i sure would like it if i could stop thinking about that scene lol. the game kept being like "you dont have to read this" and i did not listen. ain't that just the way!!!!

#cw child death #cw cannibalism #motr spoilers

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soracities · 2 years

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i read very irregularly, ive been reading siddhartha for a while (i know its such a short book but im almost done lol) and i’m really disappointed that i cant really seem to make myself pick up my book and actually read it. there are so many books i want to read, and i dont want to keep procrastinating, and to keep scrolling mindlessly on instagram or something. do you have any tips for how to make reading into a habit??

i’ve liked so much of your book recommendation posts for the sake of reading them ;(

very sorry for the delay in getting to this. i think the first thing to grapple with here and probably the hardest part about making reading a habit especially if you’re trying to come off from social media is the reality that spending less time scrolling on instagram will be very, very hard at first and you need to be prepared for that; you’re going to feel yourself drawn to it constantly because that is the habit your brain has built for itself and the hardest part may be resisting that urge in the first place. identifying when you do most of your scrolling, and rerouting that time instead towards 20 or 15 minutes or reading and, crucially, sticking with it might be the best thing especially if you can put up additional obstacles to divert the urge towards something else; i tend to scroll a lot in the evening but i downloaded the forest app after @engulfes mentioned it and it makes a huge difference for me personally. you don’t have to quit outright (what worked best for me was setting aside days when i wouldn’t use social media but i’m the kind of person who responds best to cold turkey approaches and i know that’s not for everyone)--you can work and read in gradually increasing increments if it makes you more likely to stick to the routine so even just leaving your phone in another room or far away from you and dedicating half an hour or so to reading before bed can help as long as, once again, you stick to it. (it might even help, if you are reading before bed to make an entire ritual before bed that doesn’t feature your phone at all--make a cup of tea, change your clothes, shower or whatever your routine normally looks like, take out your book before you sleep, etc -- however you can fit your reading in as naturally as possible within a larger routine, or even just constantly bring a book with you when you’re on or waiting for transport, or even just in the kitchen waiting for something to cook)

once you set aside time for your reading there are different ways to structure it depending on what suits you best: @pearblossomtree described a really good method whereby you set a number for yourself, such as 20 or 30 for example, and give yourself the option of reading 20 or 30 pages or reading for 20 or 30 minutes (or whatever number is most doable for you) which is incredibly helpful. you can also try the 5-Minute Method where you sit and read for 5 minutes straight without distractions. once your 5 minutes are up, you set yourself another 5 minutes, and when those are up you go for another 5 until you’ve done four or five cycles. you can even split those cycles up throughout the day: two or three cycles in the morning, for example, and then the same mount in the afternoon, or another round in the evening--most of the time, i think, you often find that you go over the time without realising, especially if you stick with it long enough to allow your attention span to grow and focus for longer.

while i know there are always so many amazing-sounding books to read and discover i do think it is also very important for you to really limit your choices; if you spend too much time worrying about or looking at everything you feel you have to read then you will very easily overwhelm yourself to the point of not reading at all. our brains are physically incapable of handling anything beyond 10 options at most so focus instead on a small handful of books that genuinely speak to you and that you know you will enjoy or look forward to. if there are six books you’re really drawn to, break them into three groups of two: once you finish one group, move on to the next one, and so on, and when you’re done choose your next six. don’t worry about reading lists or yearly reading goals or achieving a certain number of finished books--just focus on your group and your group only and keep going with it.

also worth noting i think, is that some books, even when they're short, require a kind of sustained attention or concentration either because of the language or the content, that is at odds with their length so they will, inevitably, take longer than you expect to finish; this is simply to say that, if you find yourself spending a lot of time with a short book, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing (and i think some of hesse's novels would probably come into that category which is why, if you’re just starting to read more or trying to read more while coming off of social media, i would recommend to not always go straight into (most) of the classics if you’re not already familiar with them or don’t already know you enjoy them, simply because adjusting to the language after having your attention fragmented by places like instagram makes sticking with the reading immensely difficult and you’re more likely to abandon it). to me, the most important thing in coming back to reading or delving into reading more is to put your pleasure and enjoyment first. you are far more likely to stick with a book that you’ve chosen yourself and that speaks to you than you are with something that’s been shortlisted for a dozen awards or that everyone is talking about and that you feel you need to have an opinion on in order to be seen as a Real Reader.

at the end of the day i think it's also important that, however you go about reading more, you do so in a way that is best suited to and accommodating of your own circumstances and pace. i'm a very irregular reader also, and have always tended to veer towards that more so than any set reading pattern; sometimes it may be a case of finding your time eaten up by empty scrolling or something similar, and other times it could be that there are other things that demand your energy and attention and that you have to attend to, which won't leave a lot of time for reading as you want. there are a lot of time constraints for me, as well as a number of other things that influence a lot of what i read and if i read and while i wish that wasn't the case, i have to accept the time i do have available and choose my books accordingly because i will burn myself out otherwise and not enjoy it anywhere near as much as i could. i hope some of this helps a little, and i wish you so much happy reading, whatever shape it takes for you x

#ask box is currently closed but if anyone has additional tips please add them in x #ask #anonymous #book talks

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roobylavender · 1 year

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I was thinking about Koriand’r as one does, and thinking about all the imagery we get when she’s hovering over earth and is in the middle between the lonely stars and the place where there is so much life. And I’m thinking about how earth despite her welcoming it so much into her life and trying to make it her home, like it didn’t love her back. I remember how awful she was talked about when it was announced she was going to marry Dick and how the citizens would call her names or not even really acknowledge her as a person with those kind of rights and she didn’t understand why they said those awful things to her. And I’m thinking about this because I feel like it’s something nobody talks about when it comes to suddenly giving Dick different ethnicities (which is usually to be like see he has it harder than everyone else) like idk… and then I think about how you said that Bruce wanted something for all his children and Dick making hero-ing his whole life. And I think that’s interesting when you compare to Koriand’r because I don’t necessarily think that she would have been upset with that lifestyle because she just wanted to belong to something but she also would have agreed with Bruce with wanting more for Dick because they know him and his needs and she like Bruce had seen him go through different masks while growing up and knows everything he could have. And here she is as his lover and his friend who was willing to follow him, and Dick was clinging to her but didn’t know who to vocalize what he should have and she had abandonment issues. Like what would I have given to have so many of these issues addressed between them and show that yes the love was always there and they were what the other needed but it was just the wrong time. Like it’s all tragic.. sorry if this doesn’t make sense I was going somewhere with it but I lost the plot lol

i am so sorry for letting this rot in my inbox for so long but GOD yeah like with the titans in general i think what wolfman really marvelously created was this group of people all suffering from various identity crises with respect to the place vigilantism had in their life as something inherited whether by way of legacy or circumstance. like all of these new adults were searching for somewhere to belong and permanently stick their roots and it was hard. and like you said for kory that struggle was twofold bc most if not all of her teammates at least had somewhere else to turn to if they failed to find themselves but kory had no one. like where would she go if she failed to make earth home? it's not like tamaran was an option as much as she loved it and had sacrificed herself for it and would do again at the drop of a hat if circumstances called for it. i can't remember what issue maybe it's from one of the later titans volumes where she's like "no matter how long i live on this planet, no matter who i meet, nobody means more to me than dick. more than a friend. more than a teammate. more than a lover. from the very beginning he was my connection to this planet. there was a time when i though we would spend our entire lives together as soulmates" like he was her CENTERPOINT. everyone else had homes or parents or towns to go back to in the event they failed themselves and all she had was HIM. the rest of the titans too by that point obv but we all know with dick it was different. and like you said i can't imagine the kind of emotional damage it inflicted upon her to have finally broken things off and the fact that writers never really bothered trying to explore that vacuum in the aftermath is so frustrating bc it wouldn't only have been about the dick and kory relationship but also about their own weaknesses as people and needing to overcome them and in the end we might have seen them become the people they needed to be when they were in the relationship in the first place. we might have seen them become whole

#outbox #ahhhh fack. dog gnawing cabbage gif #ALTHOUGH side note tangentially i do like the small nudges some writers gave wrt donna and kory in later years #but i also think you could probably foray into donna and kory acting as each other's strength as much as each other's crutch potentially #kinda like in a dick and roy way ya know. except they're not as constipated. but still very emotionally wrecked #low self esteem. princess imposter syndrome complex whatever it's called. etc etc

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pikahlua · 1 year

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Hi pika! Whenever you write metas on bnha theories I read them like morning news. I like your ideas on the recent one about katsuki. If things go similarly as what you predicted, what will happen to Izuku tho? Like the 2nd poll art where katsuki has a hunting knife, I did notice Izuku had another sword/knife on his belt too in this new art which got me thinking.

I always wondered if Izuku actually were born with a quirk but was deemed useful by the doctor so he took it (idk by what means but apparently he was already working with afo at the time anyway so he must have his ways), then lied to poor Izuku and his mom that he was quirkless. I honestly have no idea what Izuku's quirk might be if he originally had one. It might be something, a missing piece, that afo had always wanted to regenerate himself or to utilize his quirks better. Something modest but really useful, Idk. Still, after finding out the doctor Izuku consulted about his quirk manifestation turned out to be the doctor screams suspicious to me.

Anyway, by linking the additional sword/knife on Katsuki and Izuku with your theory, if either TomurAFO or AFO did successfully stole OFA from Izuku, then what does the additional weapon on Izuku means? Could it be hinting that the remaining power of OFA still lingers in him(like the case with AM) and he could actually own it and make it into his own quirk (with/without time limit), or he literally became quirkless that he had to work again to figure out what he could do as a hero?

What are your thoughts on Izuku's endgame and how it would affect and bring the whole theme of this series into a final closure?

I won't deny that there are enough little hints that Izuku could actually have been born with a quirk and lost it--should Horikoshi decide to take the story in that direction. I just don't get the feeling he will. I feel like the story has been coming back to the "it's the will behind the quirk that matters, not the quirk itself" moral a little too hard to need to make Izuku have a quirk for any reason. That doesn't mean there isn't something else to the weird coincidence where Dr. Garaki was Izuku's pediatrician though, but I can only speculate about that.

As far as the additional sword on Izuku's person, I don't know if I'm SUPPOSED to read into that, but it's kind of fun to. And if I do read into it, I have no idea which direction to take it. The one I'm (probably unsurprisingly) fond of considering is--if Katsuki ends up with OFA, what if Izuku ends up with Explosion? (What? What's that? "Switch Theory"? Never heard of it.)

Izuku's endgame is somehow the most difficult for me to discern, because I think it's entirely dependent on some big story questions Horikoshi has to answer. It's not that I have no idea what will happen--it's that there are a lot of options and Horikoshi has yet to broadcast which one he's going with. Katsuki is, of course, the wild card here, because you can't tell me their endings aren't inextricably tied together. Whatever big thing happens to either character will have a huge impact on what happens to the other. One will likely save the other--or they'll both save each other? And Tenko's gonna be somewhere in that mix as well. I also get the feeling that little flashback of AFO vs Second has a thematic piece of the puzzle in what ultimately happens. Off the top of my head I can just take all these pieces like 5 different ways already though. Ain't nobody got time to write all of that lol.

#signed ask #chomuffinsscones #ask pika #meta #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers

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hopeswriting · 2 years

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Hopes, it's me again with the need for your fabulous mind to think something over with me about the Arcobaleno. Or to be exact, about a "slight" issue I just thought of with the Arcobaleno. So, in the current Arco generation, we have :

Luce : Completely and totally mafia

Fon : We don't canonically know much about him except for his martial arts but it is strongly implied that he is part of the Triads so here too, underground

Viper : Mafia informant, underground here too

Lal (& Collonello) : Army (COMBUSIN) i.e. civils

Reborn : Mafioso also (as hitman), but he is also fairly integrated into the civilian world (master's degree in mathematics, world-renowned interpreter in both insect and animal languages, member of the Italian bird society)

Verde : Scientist, i.e. civil but we can imagine that he may be involved in Underground-related cases due to questionable experiences

Skull : Stuntman, i.e. civil

Now, here I don't teach you much new, but here's the problem: Skull is a Stuntman, yes? And a good one on top of that, for doing shows and having nicknames means he's pretty popular. And Verde too, da Vinci's second coming, it wouldn't be really surprising if he was a world-renowned scientist.

Just how the fuck could the whole (civilian) world ignore what happened with the setting up of the Arcobaleno curse ? I mean, okay people disappear all the time but like I just said, we're technically dealing with two minor celebrities here. Between the Skull shows and the colloquiums that Verde was probably to attend as part of his research…

How did no one ask questions about what they became when they "disappeared" from the civilian world ?

okay so, my headcanon has always been that it's actually inherent to the curse to make it so no one questions it worldwide, no matter how strange or how obvious a "trail" it leaves in its wake. like, that's just one of its technicalities.

so for me the process of them being cursed always involved having their lives as adult simply being erased from everyone's memories, while attributing their achievements to their baby forms. that, or rewriting their adult lives in everyone's memories to make it so they’ve always been babies all along. and of course in both cases, or a third one you might go with or whatever, the curse also makes it so no one finds it strange that babies can claim and are undoubtedly the strongest in the world, and also they stay babies for decades/forever, and also are obviously "babies" only in shape lol.

and i get it's the easy option, but tbh it always seemed to me as the most logical one too, and not to be pretentious here or anything i swear lol, but i think it's pretty much canon too. like, hear me out: exhibit a) kawahira says himself he has the power to erase memories, so it's not a stretch at all to think he might be able to do that on a world scale, either by his own power or by using the trinisette/pacifiers, and exhibit b) the arco literally erased and reset ten years worth of an entire timeline by using the pacifiers, which also cancelled and reset all the other timelines, so it has to be a breeze to alter the timeline of just eight people.

so yeah, that's what i've always gone with, but i'm super curious about anyone else's take on this!

oh, also! not really relevant, but personally i think fon and viper could have been civilians too before the whole arco thing. like, they've all become mafia after the curse at the very least for sure, but for having been chosen for his martial arts skills and their esper powers respectively, it doesn't necessarily scream mafia to me, though definitely (and very likely) they might have gotten involved in it before the whole arco thing. i'm thinking mainly the mafia trying to scout/recruit them because they’ve caught its eye or something.

also not to bring down the ire of the fandom upon me lol, because i know it's super common and well established to make fon part of the triads and viper an informant in fanon, but like. i think that's just what it is, fanon? like, someone correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think... it's actually canon? fon especially who's always struck me more like a freelance hitman tbh. i mean in the manga he's kind of a loner lol, and much like skull he couldn't think of anyone to ask to represent him for the representative battle until he fell back on hibari.

i'm less certain about viper, who does demand to be paid for anything anyone asks them to do for them, and has the skills to be an informant, but i don't think it's ever said they do that for the mafia at large? if nothing else they actually say it's just because they believe in reincarnation and want to be loaded when it'll happen to them, so they take every opportunity to get paid lol. and now i say that i do see how you can make them an informant from there, but i'm just saying it's not canon as far as i remember.

anyway, that was just to give you some food for thought, to broaden your options or whatever lol. but of course feel free to go with whatever will fit your needs best.

hope this helped!

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr asks #khr arcobaleno #arcobaleno curse #echtach messy place #long post

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lululawrence · 1 year

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Hi, can I please ask you a question? How do you deal with someone knowing that you write fanfictions? Like how do you deal with the fact that this person knows you write fanfictions, and they know you’re entire full name, your face and who you are?

I’ve accidentally given away my entire identity and the fact that i’ve written uncomfortable stuff and I haven’t been stopped thinking about it since. I’ve had thoughts of different ways to get that writing account on ao3 gone and completely detached from my name. It just puts the secrecy invalid when I have accidentally outed who behind that pen name is. I know they said I could trusts them but I just don’t feel good, you know?

Thanks. I just need advice on how to deal and where to proceed from here bdcause I don’t exactly write just fluff, I write socially questionable works. ☺️

Oh darling. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this when it was all an accident! I’m sending so many hugs your way!

Before I get started answering anything though, does this person know any of your works? Because if not, then would it be possible to simply change your ao3 username so they’re not associated with the name they expect for you? I don’t know the details of the situation so that might not help, but I thought it worth a try.

Okay. So the rest of this!

I have a lot of people who know I read and write fic in my real life, it’s just that they might not know what fandom it’s in and most absolutely do not have my username lol that’s because I’m closeted in my real life generally speaking, and not just about my queerness. If most read my fics, there would be a lot of questions and some judgement and just. Too much anxiety. So my husband knows my username, my irl bestie @2tiedships2 obviously knows lol, and maybe one or two others. That’s it. So I defo understand the anxiety associated with you giving this person you didn’t intent to all the info! Whether they’re trustworthy or not, you didn’t intend for them to have all of these details and it’s hard to allow for that!

Okay so. Is it someone who knew your online persona who now knows your real life identity? If so, then I would try to come up with a way to separate the two a bit more in a way that helps you feel safer. If you have any info about you in a bio on your blog or something, maybe consider deleting it (always be careful about the information you allow others to have anyway!! Be safe! Hehe). If that’s not enough, then maybe change your url on tumblr as well as on ao3. All of these things can help if it’s someone you know in real life who now has your ao3 username as well. Or of course, you could lock your fics to anyone who doesn’t have an ao3 as well, though that would likely only help if it’s someone from real life and not a fandom person.

If it’s a matter of the fics you have associated with your username, you could also always put them into an anonymous collection on ao3, which allows them to still be yours to edit and get comment notifications, but to everyone else it’s a random, faceless person. There’s a lot of anonymous collections that are open to anyone who wants to add their fics to them, or you could even create one yourself! You can add the fics temporarily if you want to and then remove them so they have your name attached if/when you’re ready. There are many options.

I have a friend who recently had an ex talk in a threatening enough way that they felt it best to currently make their fics inaccessible on ao3. They were able to do this without losing any of the kudos, comments, bookmarks etc by creating their own collection and making it so the gifs in the collection are unrevealed. It made it so as soon as they added their previously posted fics to the collection, it looked to everyone else as if they were gone. They hope to be able to remove them from this collection someday, but this ex had access to the fics themselves, had read them and knew some of the titles etc, so even if they had just changed a username or something or that sort, if he were motivated enough, he could still search and find them. This was their most comfortable option for them, and if your anxiety gets bad enough over this situation, then maybe that’s the direction you can go as well instead of deleting or orphaning. I do feel like if it’s just separating your fics from you though, an easy way to do this is changing the username or adding them to an anonymous collection.

Anyway. I have no idea if any of these ideas help or work for you, but I hope they at the very least it got you to the point where you can find the solution that works for you now!

Best of luck! I’m so sorry this is a stress you’re having to deal with, but I do hope it’s over for you soon and you’re able to find a place where you no longer have to worry about it.

Good luck!!!

#asks #anonymous #long post

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mercurytrinemoon · 3 years

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Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for

Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.

Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no?

On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.

I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.

On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone

Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.

Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.

I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.

Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.

I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.

I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…

My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.

Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee” when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.

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pwarkluv · 3 years

Text

❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes.

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went.

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside.

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least.

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit.

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life.

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways.

he just wanted to be loved.

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood.

jisung wanted that, craved that.

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt.

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs.

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home.

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in.

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind.

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself.

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option.

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty.

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard.

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do.

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him.

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there. what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up.

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on.

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind.

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing.

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window.

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room.

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention.

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along.

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waltnut · 3 years

Note

Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #monster boyfriend #nsft

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angry-geese · 3 years

Note

Hi there <3 I've read some of your works and i'm in love with your writing. May I please request a fluff gojo x fem!reader? Like they finished their work in the evening and spend the rest of the night together at home💕 It could be a oneshot or a hc, whichever you feel to write. Thank you so much ^^ I'm sorry just in case my request is somehow not really clear☺️

Of course! here you go <3

Mochi

Gojo Satoru x reader

Warnings: none! entirely fluff! this will quite literally rot your teeth. afab reader

a/n: this ended up being a little longer than I intended lol whoops

Word Count: 2.5k

Satoru Gojo is a busy man.

The strongest can't really take a break. He’s on call 24/7. People are pulling him in all directions simultaneously. With everything that's been going on, between the mess with Sukuna, and everything happening at the school, he’s been short on time.

He needs a break.

He's more tired than he lets on. He’s good at hiding it. Especially around his students. It's hard to pull him away from his work. He's insistent that he’s fine. When you’re around someone for so long, you learn to pick up when they aren't. He can pretend to be fine all he wants. You know otherwise.

Sometimes what the strongest needs is someone to boss him around.

He’s capable of taking care of himself. He’s proven that already. But worrying is in your nature. You care about him, of course you’re going to worry.

You were a first year when you met him, having just transfered schools after an incident involving a curse. In a matter of weeks your life had seemingly been flipped on its head. The switch took some time to get used to. Switching schools your first year, let alone switching to this one in particular, was never going to be easy. Getting used to the way Jujutsu society worked took a while. He was a year above you, and you remember absolutely hating him. Gojo was insufferable- or you found him to be such. But he was friends with Nanami, who was a friend of yours, so you reluctantly hung out with him. Nanami, being in the same year as you, was the first to help you out, extending a hand and helping you get used to the way things worked.

Spending time with him didn't do much to change your views. The two of you couldn't have been more different. You still are. But something about opposites attracts.

The first time you gave him the benefit of the doubt was the first time he saved your life.

It may be a bit of an over exaggeration. You’re certain you would have survived without his help, but that could also be an attempt to preserve your pride. You went after a curse, not expecting it to be as strong as it was. As far as you knew, it shouldn't have been stronger than a grade three. Being a grade two at the time, this should have been well in your ability. There ended up being more than one curse, and they were stronger than anyone had realized. You were in over your head.

It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known. It's not like you could pick and choose which curses you fought. As a student, that was decided for you.

You had resigned to your fate, separated from the others, injured. Nothing fatal. It left a cool scar, though. But you were well out of your league, put on an assignment far harder than you could deal with. You hate to admit defeat, but you had no other option.

Out of what seemed like thin air came Gojo, taking out both curses like it was nothing. Despite not liking him all that much, it was hard to not be impressed. He was strong. Stronger than you could ever hope to be.

You made it home in one piece.

It was three days before you’d finally confront him.

Getting him alone was hard enough. Being an underclassman, you didn't interact with him a whole lot. You didn't have any classes together. The few times you ran into him were when you hung out with Nanami, who was gone at the time.

When the opportunity presented itself, you took it, cornering him behind the school.

Even back then it was impossible to sneak up on him. He could sense you coming.

“Jesus-” he said, referring to you by your last name, “you look like you want to kill me.”

“You helped me out.” You said. “Why?”

He only shrugged. Not wanting to take that for an answer, you followed him. You were insistent you paid him back. You’d never let a debt like that go unpaid. The first debts are always the hardest to pay back. And when a first debt involves saving your life, well, you’ve got a lifetime to pay back. You only left once Gojo showed up. He needed to talk to Gojo about something, and although you were curious, you didn't feel like sticking around.

Gojo spent the next couple days scheming. You were determined enough you would do just about anything. He could have easily abused his power. It would have been even easier to force you to drop it, but something told him you weren't about to take no for an answer.

You wouldn't.

3pm in the bathrooms. It was hardly a week later. Your last class had ended for the day. You had snuck cigarettes in, blowing the smoke out of the crack in the window. You don't smoke anymore, but you went through nearly a pack a day in high school. There wasn't a specific brand you liked—you didn't necessarily like smoking, but you did it when you were stressed—you just used whatever you got ahold of.

You didn't hear the door open. Gojo wasn't the sneaky type, but he could be when he wanted. You weren't too hard to sneak up on.

If you didn't have contraband that likely would have gotten you expelled, you would have screamed when you saw him. He scared you, not to mention he snuck into the girl’s bathrooms. The two of you would be in equally deep shit if you reported the other. So at that moment you came to a silent agreement.

“You still want to pay me back?” He asked. “Cause I have an idea.”

You perked up at his words.

“Get me mochi from that shop just down the road. You know the one that just opened up?” He asked. “Bring me some and I’ll call us even.”

“That's it?” You asked. It was almost anticlimactic. But despite everything, he was insistent.

Gojo hasn't changed a whole lot since then.

He still has his sweet tooth. He still makes you get him mochi from that shop. It feels like you’re the ones keeping it in business nowadays.

You’re not quite sure who made the first move.

Soon you began spending more time together away from Nanami and Geto. You got along better than anyone—mostly you—ever expected. You weren't the most outwardly affectionate. While you were far from shy, pda wasn't really your thing. Gojo is the opposite. Even now, years after you began dating, he’s still clingy. You’ve gotten used to it. Gojo is possessive, he wants everyone to know you’re his. Not that they don't know already. He can't shut up about you.

Getting him alone has always been hard. Not much has changed in the past few years. He’s only gotten busier. Try to drag him away from work all you want, you rarely succeed.

Tonight he's come willingly. He finished his work early, and all you had left was stuff you could finish in the morning.

Nights at home like this—together—are rare. It feels like you hardly see him anymore. You often fall asleep alone, only to wake up to the other side of the bed being cold. He’s been so occupied with this business with Yuji, that he’s hardly had time for anything else. You sneak away during your breaks, like you’re teenagers again, stealing kisses between classes. You almost don't know what to do.

It almost feels like you should do something to celebrate.

The lights are off when you get home. Your apartment looks empty. Megumi must still be out with his friends.

“What should we do for dinner?” Gojo asks.

“Takeout?” You say. "I don't feel like cooking."

Gojo’s a decent cook, but he doesn't feel like doing so either. He’d get takeout every night if you’d let him. But that's not good for him (or Megumi) so you force him to do otherwise. Because you’re normally home, and you like baking, you’re usually the one to make dinner. There's not much in the fridge. You'll have to get groceries eventually. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It shouldn't take long.

“How does Korean barbeque sound?" He asks. "From that place down the street?”

"Sounds good,"

You find a menu buried in one of your kitchen drawers, stashed with other takeout menus. You pick out something—two meals, plus some sweet buns for dessert—he calls the restaurant. You pay the extra cash to have it delivered. Neither of you feel like going and picking it up. It's more convenient than the alternative.

The tv drones on in the background while you wait. There’s not much on tv at this hour. News, some late night soaps. While you do like your occasional soap opera, none that you normally watch are on. Gojo changes it to the news. The weather. It looks like it'll rain tomorrow morning, but the rest of the day is supposed to be warm.

"We should go to the park tomorrow," you say, "having a picnic sounds nice."

Gojo hums in approval. As long as you make those tea cakes—the ones with honey drizzled on top—he'll agree to tag along. Maybe you'll go check out the bookstore too. It's been a while since you've last gone.

You strip out of your uniform, pulling on some more comfortable clothes; a pair of shorts and one of Gojo's shirts. It smells like him. You can't help but bury your nose in the collar.

When there’s a knock at the door, Gojo is the one to answer. He returns with your food. You gather napkins and utensils. Gojo never saw the point in anything other than stainless steel chopsticks. Or wooden ones—those given to you with takeout—if he wasn't feeling up to doing dishes. You, on the other hand, bought all sorts of colorful ones and stands that may or may not have been lifted from various restaurants. That's one habit from your teenage years you never lost. You'd pocket almost anything that wasn't nailed down. Your apartment has a rather impressive assortment of salt and pepper shakers. Not to mention the box of hotel soaps you never use, but took because you "might" need it. He enables you, taking some whenever he stays out of town, bringing them home for you. Gojo can hardly say no to you.

Gojo settles next to you on the couch, his shoulder pressed to yours. He can't keep his hands off of you. He’s possessive by nature. Everyone has to know you’re his. He always has to be touching you. Not necessarily with his hands, but he presses his thigh against yours while sitting next to you, or his body pressed against yours from behind in public.

The two of you eat in relative silence. Gojo’s attention turns to the tv, but that doesn't stop him from practically laying on top of you. Occasionally he’ll sneak bites of your food, and you of his.

When you’re done, you clear away the empty containers, sitting any leftovers in the fridge. Gojo sprawls out on the couch. He easily takes up any bit of space. The couch can hardly fit all 6-foot-something of Gojo. It hardly fits you. You've been meaning to look for another one, but haven't found the time to.

He opens his arms, and instinctively you go into them. You move so you can rest partially against the arm of the couch, Gojo's head leaning against your shoulder. His arms loop around your waist, his fingers lacing over your stomach.

It doesn't take him long to begin to drift off. He falls asleep in the crook of your neck. The low sound of the tv, combined with the warmth of his body makes you want to drift off to sleep. Sleeping on the couch like this isn't very good for your (or his) back, but you don't want to move.

The next time your eyes open, some late night game show plays, disturbing your sleep with loud music. The clock on the wall reads some time past two. It's hard to read the minute hand. You gently shake Gojo awake. One of his eyes cracks open and he lets out a soft “hm?”

“Come to bed,” you say, your arms wrapping around his neck, “it's late.”

His eyes close, and for a moment you think he’s drifted back off to sleep, when his grip around you tightens, and he’s rolling over on top of you.

“I think I’ll stay here with you, mochi,” he says, planting a wet kiss to your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck makes you shiver.

And though he doesn't move, there's a look in his eyes that tells you he has something planned. You only notice too late that his grip never loosens, and the mischievous glint to his eyes. You couldn't wiggle out of it if you wanted to. You're effectively trapped.

He litters your neck with kisses, sending you into a giggling fit, and he doesn't stop until you’re begging him to. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes from laughing. Your nails dig into your palms so hard they leave little crescent-shaped indents.

When you finally settle down, he’s pulling you into his arms bridal style, heading for your shared room. The bed is still unmade from this morning. Neither of you bothered to put it away. You were busy, and the thought slipped your mind.

Gojo shoves the covers aside, pulling you to lay on his chest. His fingers gently trace up the curve of your spine as he watches the steady rise and fall of your chest. Goosebumps prickle your exposed skin. He’s careful with how he touches you, loving, and soft. It's like he’s trying to memorize every inch of your body. His heartbeat is audible. Steady, and quet, acting as a lullaby. Your eyes shut, but you’re still awake. The intimacy of the moment doesn't go over your head.

He thinks he could die happy at this moment. Any moment, with you, really. Even during fights, or nights where he doesn't come home until long after you’ve fallen asleep, and you’re left irritated with his lack of time. As long as you’re by his side, he’s content.

He doesn't give much to the thought of settling down. His work will never let him. Neither does he think much about having any biological children. You practically have two already. Settling down isn't really an option for the strongest. This is the closest he’ll get to it.

For now, he just thinks about the park, and the blue sundress you always wear when you go.

Not many people can say they’ve changed who Satoru Gojo is as a person—let alone for the better—but you’ve changed him twice. Once in your meeting behind the school, and once again tonight. He’s found the one.

The first debt is always the hardest to pay back. But you've paid it in full.

#gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fluff

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!!

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread.

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing.

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly.

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed.

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds.

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way.

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night?

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark.

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan.

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer.

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty.

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.”

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.”

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.”

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?”

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.”

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down.

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.”

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting.

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit.

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?”

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.”

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?”

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.”

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.”

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?”

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.”

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips.

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.”

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second.

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?”

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.”

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?”

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.”

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.”

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.”

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t.

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone.

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways.

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.”

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place.

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more.

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.”

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.”

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.”

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me.

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches.

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.”

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.”

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.”

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.”

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.”

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.”

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him.

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact.

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.”

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not.

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…”

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?”

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.”

“More than I should?”

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.”

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?”

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.”

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.”

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?”

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.”

“I don’t understand.”

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?”

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.”

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--”

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.”

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.”

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.”

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.”

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh.

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.”

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown.

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.”

“Kirigan--”

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.”

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear.

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it.

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before.

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.”

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine.

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.”

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip.

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.”

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly.

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more.

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.”

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.”

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise.

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.”

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived.

“I have to go.”

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.”

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--”

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.”

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?”

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.”

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible.

He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is.

“Soon,” he promises again.

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

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salemwolfgang · 3 years

Text

The Bed

Request: “‘There’s only 1 bed” Hannibal & Will obsessed with a fem reader.”

Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Reader x Will Graham

Warning(s): Smut, Praise Kink, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Slight Dom and Sub Tones, Spitting, Blow Jobs, and So So Soooo Much Fluff

A/N: It’s not as long as I originally intended but I’ll add more later when I find what I want to add. Also not entire proofread. I did read through it a few times but there could possibly still be mistakes and I’ll happily fix them later lol.

Two weeks ago, during a conversation with Hannibal, you mentioned how tired and stressed work had made you as of late. That following week he surprisingly invited you on a trip to a cabin that he owned. He said it was further north and he usually went there a couple times throughout the year. You didn’t want to interrupt his free time but he insisted you go. He even said that ‘It would be a relaxing trip and the scenery was quite spectacular’.

You mentioned the conversation to Will and he stated that the trip was offered to him as well. But he said that he’d only go if you did as well. The two of you decided to tell Hannibal that both of you would be delighted to go and he happily told you that he planned to leave on the fifteenth.

The rest of the week was spent planning on what you’d pack, meal options, and any necessities that would be needed. When the day arrived you received a text from Will stating he and Hannibal were on their way to pick you up. Despite the cold that nipped at your skin, you decide to wait on your porch.

On the car ride there you ran through your list of items that you all packed twice, just to be sure that you had everything. You knew you had it all but it gave you something to do since you didn’t bring a book and your phone had no service. Hannibal wasn’t much for conversation and Will read a book that you believed was, The Measures Of Madness, which Hannibal had given to him as a gift last Christmas.

When the three of you arrived you all grabbed your luggage and headed into the cabin. Hannibal started making dinner while Will started a fire. You took everyone’s things to the back and went to put them in their rooms until you noticed that there was only one bedroom.

“Uhh… Hannibal? Can I ask you something?” You asked as you walked back towards the kitchen.

Hannibal looked up from the carrots he was cutting and said,”Yes (Y/N)?”

“Where are the other beds? I tried looking and this place only seems to have one room…”

“Oh yes I must have forgotten. I’ve always come here alone so I never thought to have a cabin with multiple rooms that I didn’t need.” Something in his tone of voice hinted that he wasn’t telling the truth but you didn’t bother to question his response.

“Okay, I guess I’ll just sleep on the couch.” You muttered. Not realizing that they had booth heard you.

Will said nothing but came out from the living room and walked to the bedroom.

“Well, (Y/N), the bed seems big enough for the three of us. Why can’t we just share?” Will’s voice yelled out to you. And before you could say anything he added, “Plus the couch seems quite uncomfortable.”

Hannibal sneakily smiled and looked at you waiting for an answer. When nothing came out he said “Yes, it would be a shame if you couldn’t sleep properly while we were on our vacation. You must sleep with us, it seems to be the best option. At least try it for tonight and if you were to become to uncomfortable with it, you can sleep on the couch.”

After continuous bantering amongst the three of you on where you’d sleep, you finally agreed to sleep in the same bed. The two, grown might I add, men both made a small victory dance and you couldn’t help but giggle at their childish behavior. As the three of you ate you conversed about work, how fast the seasons seemed to change, and all recent news. At some point the topic of your love life was brought up. How exactly it came about was unclear to you but it had happened and there was no way out of it.

“So are you...” Will cleared his throat and then continued, “interested in anyone?”

You felt yourself begin to choke on your food at the suddenness of this question. When you managed to calm down your face noticeably heated up making the other two aware of your embarrassment. Neither made any remarks about it and waited patiently for your response.

“Well yes and no, it’s more like I’m interested in… multiple people but I highly doubt they’d care to know. I could never see myself possibly being with them, they’re too good for me. And I could never choose between them.”

Your response seemed to noticeably change something within Hannibal and Will. As you glanced up at them you could notice clear disdain on their faces. You frowned immediately afraid they had become disgusted by you and your lack of choosing between two people.

“Who are they? Is it someone from your work? Or possibly a friend of yours?” Will’s rapid fire questions surprised you. His tone let out that he was not angry at you but at whoever your “crushes” were.

Hannibal reached out under the table and set a hand on your thigh. The grip he had made your stomach flutter and your cheeks felt warmer. He looked you in the eyes and without hesitating said, “You deserve to be cherished by whoever you desire.”

You cleared your throat and opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. Will stared at you with such an intensity you were afraid he’d burst at any moment. Luckily he didn’t and instead mentioned how late it was getting and that it was about time to ready yourselves for bed.

Hannibal released his grip on your thigh and began to collect his dirtied dishes, Will and yourself followed after him. You insisted that Hannibal was given the first shower since he had made the meal and then it was decided Will would go next and you last.

As you stood within the shower thoughts of what had occurred over dinner began to make their way back into your head. You felt so embarrassed after what had happened. What if they knew of your crushes and were just teasing you? A new thought quickly made itself known and you caught yourself leading into it. It couldn’t really be true; no, there’s no way… but perhaps they liked you back?

You had no more time to think of it because soon the water ran cold and you had to exit the shower. Quickly you got dressed and did your usual nightly routine afterwards you headed to your… shared bedroom, the thought still made your mind blank. It was too embarrassing to think about.

When you entered the room you were surprised to find Will fast asleep. You stared at him fondly then turned your gaze upon Hannibal. As expected he was laying with a book in his hand and a small glass of wine next to him. Before you walked any further it dawned upon you that the only available space was between the two men.

Pretending as if it did not bring butterflies to your stomach, you slowly crawled in to the surprisingly soft bed. Having no other option but to rest yourself in a slightly curled position against Hannibal’s side.

Without any warning you felt Will’s hands curl around your waist and his legs move up against yours. You let out a gasp of surprise at the sudden contact but tried to relax. Hannibal then placed as hand onto of your head and began brushing your hair softly with his fingers. You had no words to describe the unexpected bliss you currently felt at the moment.

Hannibal spoke, his tone soft yet authoritative as he whispered, ”You are to remain and belong to us, only us.”

You felt hot breath against your neck as a shockingly awake Will added on to Hannibal’s words. ”Your silly crushes will have to go away, no one else can have you but us.” He then softly kissed your neck and caressed your side.

Their sudden possessiveness made you blush madly.

Hannibal closed his book then slid himself down slightly so that his face was next to yours. He reached a hand up and placed it on your cheek and caressed your face softly with his thumb. You held your breathe as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss upon your lips. You couldn’t help but to lean into it and you cupped his face to deepen it as you did. Hannibal took his time to part your lips slightly and move you more towards him.

As Hannibal distracted your upper half, Will began to caress your sides. His hands moved tenderly up and down your thighs and would occasionally dip between them. He let his fingers dance across your clothed area. He only stopped when he reached the edge of your underwear; he would tease you by pulling the fabric up slightly and snaked his hand between your flesh and thin panties.

Your breath paused a moment and a soft hum left your parted lips when Will rubbed his fingers against your folds. Hannibal pressed himself against you and let out a groan as you pulled him closer.

“She’s so needy for us.” Will taunted. The comment made you pout a little and Hannibal lips noticeably lifted in response. “Tell us what you want hun, we’ll give it to you, whatever you want just ask.”

You let out a whine at the though of using your words. It was just too embarrassing to truly tell them your desires but reluctantly you did as told. “I… I want you both inside me…” You hesitated before adding a quiet, “Please.”

“Oh so polite for us. What a good girl.” Hannibal whispered to you, more so to Will though.

You let out a needy whine and pushed your hips both into Will’s hand and Hannibal’s hips.

“Let’s give our good girl what she so desperately wants.”

They both sat up and pulled you along with them. Quickly you undressed with them and then they had you lay your back against Will. His warm skin against yours caused you to sigh at the feeling. You almost became unaware of his length pressed against your back until you felt the tip’s precum wet your back slightly. The reminder had you drifting to thoughts of what it’d feel like to have it finally inside of you.

Admits your distraction Hannibal had begun to crawl closer to the two of you. He brought you back to them by placing his hands onto your now bare thighs; drifting them upwards then spreading them. Once they spread he moved in closer.

Moving up he went past you and made his way to Will. He glanced down at your curious self and then moved to Will’s ear. He then began whispering low enough that you could not hear a single word and before you could even think of something to ask. Hannibal lifted his hands and grabbed a hold of Will’s jaw and roughly laid a kiss onto his lips.

Their tongues were pushed against one another and at some points a tongue would drift into one of their mouths. Will both visibly and physically showed his liking for the kiss by pushing into it and growing harder. He then let out a deep moan that caused his chest to vibrated against your back.

You could feel yourself become even more aroused and the wetness between your legs became more noticeable. You thought about reaching one of your hands down between your legs to pleasure yourself at the sight but found that Hannibal had beat you to it. One hand stayed on Will while the other made its way between your legs. He moved his fingers between your delicate folds, coating his fingers in your slickness. You loudly moaned at the contact and lifted your hips to give him more access.

When Hannibal deemed his fingers wet enough he slipped one within you and began thrusting it in and out before attempting to slowly work you up to two fingers. Your moans increased once he added a second and at that he curled his fingers slightly hitting a spot that had you’re hips pushing down on his hand for more. He then added in a third; at this point you were writhing beneath him, the warmth within your stomach quickly building.

Just when you thought he was going to start bringing you to your climax he stopped and pulled them out. You let out a dissatisfied whine and opened your eyes to look up at him. A muffled chuckle could be heard from above and then Hannibal pull away from Will. He made his way back down to you before, in what could only be described as purring out, “Are you ready for your reward now songbird?”

You looked past Hannibal and up at Will in an almost questioning way. He nodded his head slightly as if he had known what you were asking when you yourself didn’t know. But at his sign of approval you looked back at Hannibal and quickly nodded your head.

At your sign of consent, Hannibal grabbed ahold of his length and made his way to your entrance. Before he put it in though he coated his head in your wetness and spit down onto your entrance. It was something you hadn’t expected but had you gasping out at the feeling. Once we deemed that he was lubricated enough, he pushed himself in.

Will ran his fingers within your hair and moved you up to kiss him; distracting you from any discomfort. His softness greatly balancing out Hannibal’s rough movements. His tongue lapped up any moan you let out and his fingers caressed your sides in a easing way.

At first his pace was slow until Will moved his hand down between your legs and gathered any of the liquids he could before teasingly circling two of his digits your sensitive clit. You cried out into his mouth and felt your legs jolt at the touch. And Hannibal took this as his queue to pick up his pace.

The heat inside you coiled more and more and you could feel yourself getting close. You started to relax your body more and your breathing slowed as well. You took in deep breathes, well as deep as you could with Will’s mouth on your’s, and felt your self give into the release. Your mouth fell open and you felt your body spasm slightly and your arms bent back and grabbed onto Will’s legs.

Hannibal slowly worked himself in and out after noticing the movements and pulsing inside of you. He moaned out as your squeezed around him and seemed to both push him out and suction him more. The contrast and feeling had him closer than he originally thought and as you came down from your high, his had grown nearer and nearer.

It was at this moment when he pulled out and began stroking himself at your entrance. His hand increase its speed and you watch as one of his hands spread your legs giving him more access. With a final groan he came onto you and ropes of cum leaked down your crevices.

As the two of you laid there breathing heavily you began to wonder what you’d do about Will. He was still hard against you and you could tell that you were to sensitive to go for a round two yet. Then an idea popped into your head that had you smiling coyly and caused you to slowly turn your body so you were now laying on him.

You leaned in and kissed him gently before you started to litter kisses all along his body. As you moved lower you would tenderly nip at his skin each caress of your teeth on his skin had him moaning quietly. Once you reached your desired destination you looked up at him from under your lashes. Eyes observing his every move to see if he was uncomfortable at all with this.

Seeing no signs of discomfort, you licked a long stripe from his base to the tip. Then you swirled your tongue around it, letting your saliva pool around him and drip down his shaft. Will set one of his hands on your head and braided his fingers into your hair. You allowed him to guide you down and you bob your head on him.

You felt movement behind you but didn’t think anything of it until a mouth connected to your now sensitive sex. Hannibal’s seemingly tongue mocked your motions and lapped up any of the mixed liquids he found. You surprisingly felt no discomfort from the delicate touches and even found yourself pushing down onto his face. Though for a moment you hesitated, thinking that’d you’d crush him if any further pressure was applied, but hands wrapped around your hips and pushed your down more.

Your moans sent vibrations through your mouth and onto Will’s cock. Eventually leading to an even louder response from the man above. He praised you when he wasn’t practically crying out. The praises were nothing wild but they were enough to make you feel light headed and adored. Your favorite phrase that he had muttered was most likely, “Holy fuck princess, you look and feel so good with your mouth around me. Just like the good girl you are.”

After a few minutes you noticed that he had begun to move your head faster and his hips began to lift, which you assumed was his attempt to get in deeper. You ended up gagging a few times and found yourself drooling, what felt like, pools around him. Then suddenly the movements became sloppier and less controlled. At some point you gave up all control to him and instead focused on moving your hips more to get more pleasure out of Hannibal’s mouth.

You felt the familiar warmth inside your stomach coil and twist about and right as that feeling made itself known Will came hard inside your mouth. To your surprise, you ended up swallowing every ounce, not letting a single drop spill. And as you did so, your second orgasm ran through your body. Your muscles shook a little at another rush of euphoria.

Slowly you removed your sore jaw off of Will and pulled your hips up and off of Hannibal’s face. Strings of saliva stuck you two will for mere seconds before they broke and as you glanced up at Will you noticed his dark red face and giggled at the sight. You had never seen him more embarrassed from something then now. It was, somehow, quite adorable.

You couldn’t help but reach up and place your hands on his warm cheeks and pull him in for a tender kiss. Something about the way you kissed him felt so sweet and pure, despite the sinful acts you three had committed. And you couldn’t find it in you to pull away. You stayed with your lips on his for a moment or two and then slowly separated.

After a brief moment of silence and stillness, large hands made their way around you and wrapped themselves around your hands. With a seemingly no hesitation, they guided both you and Will back onto the bed. As you had moved down, you removed your hands from Will’s face and instead placed them around his arms and on his back.

You pulled him closer to Hannibal and yourself and rested your head next to his chest. Your legs tangled with Hannibal’s and one of his hands reached out to set on Will. You had thought a bit about how natural all of this had seemed. It was quite odd that none of you had spoken yet but you said nothing about it.

And as your eyes slowly shut you whispered out a barely audible, “Goodnight.” and fell asleep before you could hear them mutter the same word.

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slashers x you #will graham #will graham x reader #will graham x you #x reader #x you #request

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