#mention of Jin Guangshan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eleanorfenyxwrites · 1 year

Text

Soldier, Poet, King

Part 11

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

[AO3] [Masterpost]

Heavily implied SongXueXiao in this one, but it can be read as either romantic or platonic I think - they’re all living together (plus A-Qing of course), but I don’t delve at all really into their dynamic or how it happened since it’s not important to the narrative I’m telling. (SongXiao are married and Xue Yang is just kinda There and Super Healthy™ about it lol)

-/-

Lan Xichen – like most people, he would assume – is perfectly capable of recognizing Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen on sight. That doesn’t change the fact that for the long, breathless moment in which it’s silent enough in the lab to hear a pin drop, he has absolutely no idea what he’s looking at.

The last anyone had heard of the two genuinely legendary Mach 1 pilots, they’d disappeared into retirement following their hardest-won Kaiju battle, and though Shanghai’s press statements had already long dried up into the barest bones of information, this had been shocking enough that the truth had slipped through the shatterdome’s tight security.

They’d been injured – badly so, to the point of being nearly unrecognizable (according to sources that claimed to be inside the ‘dome). It had taken months more for further information to leak, and when it had Lan Xichen had selfishly wished that it hadn’t. Acid, right to both of their faces, people around the world had whispered, hushed and fascinated. Xiao Xingchen’s eyes, Song Lan’s tongue – gone! Just like that!

A rumor like that, no matter how much or how little truth it contained, was naturally bound to lead to…assumptions. Mental images that were painful to imagine, but that were nonetheless inescapable, especially for a fellow pilot – someone who lived with the reality of something similar happening at any moment in the course of their work.

And yet here, now, years after their retreat from the world, stand Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan both smiling gently at Nie Mingjue and (mostly) appearing whole and healthy.

“You-” Nie Mingjue starts and attempts to stand before the nodes attached to his temples prevent him from doing so. He makes an irritated noise in the back of his throat and makes as if to rip them off, which thankfully galvanizes Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu, at least, into scrambling forward to get them unhooked from their contraption. Wei Wuxian is still frozen staring at their guests from behind the computer bank, but Lan Xichen thinks that’s more than fair considering he knows precisely how much this means to him.

“Us,” Xiao Xingchen replies, still smiling. Lan Xichen gets slowly to his feet as well while the man steps around the desk to allow Nie Mingjue to pull him in for a hug that looks nearly violent, but Xiao Xingchen doesn’t complain. Lan Xichen glances at Song Lan to see him studying Jin Guangyao through slightly narrowed eyes, and without thought Lan Xichen steps in front of his partner to block him partially from view. The last these two had seen of Jin Guangyao, after all, had been his expulsion from Bujing Shi and Nie Mingjue’s subsequent depression after he was gone. He can’t imagine they’re thrilled to see him here now as one of Nie Mingjue’s co-pilots.

“It’s alright, Zewu-Jun.” It takes Lan Xichen a long moment to realize that the deep, smooth, vaguely mechanical voice is, in fact, Song Lan’s, though naturally his lips don’t move along with it. “We do not hold needless grudges.”

Jin Guangyao rests a careful hand on the crook of his elbow, but it still takes a reassuring nod from Song Lan before Lan Xichen steps aside again so that Jin Guangyao can offer the man a bow.

“I feel that my intention to offer further apologies for arriving unannounced is no longer necessary,” Xiao Xingchen says with a hint of a strain for being squeezed so tightly. Nie Mingjue’s suspiciously wet laughter breaks some of the awed tension in the room.

“You know you’re always welcome here, anytime,” Nie Mingjue huffs as he withdraws and slaps Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder hard enough that Lan Xichen is sure he sees the man put genuine effort into not stumbling under the impact. “I never expected to see either of you again. But it seems like things went well in the States? Fixed up your faces and everything, ah?”

Lan Xichen is at once relieved and dismayed by his partner’s shocking lack of tact. Mostly relieved – now that he’s over his shock he’s desperate to know how they’ve recovered from such horrific injuries (that he now knows from Nie Mingjue’s memories that they definitely sustained, and that in fact the gossip had actually downplayed their severity).

“Mm they did, eventually. It was difficult to track down what we needed, but we managed. One of Zichen’s eyes for each of us even though I told Zichen I was fine without it. So yes, eyes for each of us, reconstruction surgery and skin grafts to repair more superficial damage to our necks and faces, and Zichen’s throat. Cybernetic replacements for our non-functional eyes to compensate for the loss. And for a special treat, a thought-to-speech implant for Zichen – one of a kind, from Auntie Baoshan herself.”

Wei Wuxian makes a hastily-muffled noise like a dying cat and Lan Xichen has to duck his head to hide his amusement at his friend’s predicament. For as much as Mo Xuanyu is not subtle at all in his hero worship of Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen knows that Wei Wuxian himself would be hard-pressed to hide his own worship of the Immortal pair even before they’d mentioned Baoshan Sanren (and her work with cybernetics that sound like a mad inventor’s dream).

“Good.” Nie Mingjue’s gruff pronouncement is laced with too many emotions for Lan Xichen to parse through, but he’s sure they’ll have a discussion about it later so he doesn’t mind. “Do you have quarters picked out yet?”

“Not here,” Song Lan says, turning his unreadable look – made more so by the nigh-on unnatural stillness of his face – on Nie Mingjue again. “We do not wish to be any trouble.”

“We already have a place in town, if you don’t mind sparing us in the evenings,” Xiao Xingchen adds smoothly, his smile apologetic even as his tone brooks no argument. “But we will stay and discuss whatever you’d like until curfew, we traveled at a comfortable pace and we are well-rested.”

“I need to go over the experiment we just finished with the research team,” Nie Mingjue says with a gesture towards their ‘peanut gallery’, as Jin Guangyao had called them, who are once again all behind the row of monitors watching this all play out in front of them with wide eyes. “You remember my brother Huaisang?”

“We do,” Xiao Xingchen smiles. Nie Huaisang flutters his fan in a weak little wave.

“The other two are Mo Xuanyu, the youngest Kaiju genius in the world -” Mo Xuanyu flushes crimson at the praise and offers a shaky bow - “And Wei Wuxian, one of the three Heroes of Yunmeng, and Lan Wangji’s new co-pilot in Immortal Mountain.”

“Of course, your career is very impressive, Wei-gongzi. We look forward to meeting with you properly in a little while,” Xiao Xingchen says with a nod for Wei Wuxian, who looks ready to pass out any moment. “Please don’t let us keep you from your duties, we merely wanted to say hello as soon as possible, lest word of our arrival precede us. We were hoping to go see Immortal Mountain next..?”

“I can take you,” Lan Xichen offers before he can think twice about it. “I believe Wangji is observing her maintenance crew this morning, as well, if you’d like to meet him.”

Lan Xichen isn’t quite prepared for the twin bows the two offer him, genteel and graceful.

“Thank you, Zewu-Jun, we’ll follow your lead then.”

Lan Xichen isn’t often at a loss for words. For all that he was raised in relative isolation compared to the vast majority of people, it had been instilled in him since he was a young boy that he should know how to comport himself at all times. And then, following his and Lan Wangji’s descent from their mountain home into training centers and shatterdomes at the start of the war, he’d learned quickly, naturally, how to make up for his brother’s lack of speech that most people found disconcerting at best, if not downright rude.

It’s an extremely unpleasant moment, then, when he realizes that he’s alone with two of his teenage heroes, and he has absolutely no clue what to say to them. Were it not for the fact that he knows Lan Wangji genuinely doesn’t care one bit if the people around him are uncomfortable, he would wonder how his brother can stand it.

“I hope you aren’t upset to see new pilots in Immortal Mountain,” he finally manages when they come to a junction, the perpendicular corridors bustling with enough people that the noise soothes some of the awkward tension – enough for Lan Xichen to find his metaphorical footing again, anyway. People naturally stop to gawk at them as they pass through the jostling and clanging space, but neither Song Lan nor Xiao Xingchen seem to take too much notice of it.

“Not at all,” Xiao Xingchen soothes, lips tipped up at the corners again right on cue. “Surprised, I suppose, that anyone would still wish to pilot a Mach 1 even when poorer shatterdomes than Shanghai can boast much newer tech, but not at all upset.”

“My brother and Wei Wuxian are both enamored with Immortal Mountain for a variety of reasons. Wangji is quite fond of tradition and is pleased to be able to honor the first generation of pilots in this way; Wei Wuxian is an engineering genius who would probably like to take Immortal Mountain apart down to her every last nut and bolt to figure out how she works were he not asked to pilot her instead.”

“Good hands for her, then,” Song Lan says simply, and that’s that. Lan Xichen leads them along another corridor, the walls now cluttered with more and more pipes and steam vents as they approach the Jaeger bays. He’s certain that the others know this shatterdome even better than he does and need no direction through their old stomping grounds, but they allow him to lead them the rest of the way down to the echoing caverns of Bays 1 and 2 without complaint.

Unlike the day they’d arrived from Tokyo, Bay 1, home to Immortal Mountain, is now as brightly lit as Bay 2 next to it. Also unlike that first day, repairs have ceased on Sparks Amidst Snow, the Jaeger silent and gleaming perfect, ready to be sent out on the next Kaiju run. All the cacophony of a working bay is coming from Immortal Mountain, maintenance crew members everywhere he can see swarming like ants as they work on bringing the Jaeger back into working order as quickly as Jin Guangshan has demanded to save face. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have already taken her out for the exhibition run, of course, but a quick step out into town for a wave and publicity shots does not at all translate to the old Mach 1 behemoth being ready to get dropped into the ocean and pitted against stronger and faster Kaiju than she had been designed to fight.

Lan Xichen steps away from his companions with the excuse of looking for Lan Wangji to give them a moment of privacy as they’re faced with their Jaeger after years away from it. He spots his brother a few levels up from where they’ve entered on the ground floor, little more than a speck of white at this distance where he’s standing on one of the catwalks near Immortal Mountain’s thighs covered in massive hydraulic pistons and backup weapons the size of typical suburban houses. He snags the closest grease-smudged crew member he recognizes from Tokyo and requests that they please use their comms to get someone to tell Lan Wangji to come down and find him, and only then does he return to Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen.

“Wangji will join us shortly,” he reports, and…runs out of words. Again. He must have a fever or something.

“Zewu-Jun,” Song Lan interrupts his moment of dismay, lips quirked up ever so slightly into a smirk, the most obvious facial expression he’s made yet. “You seem to have something on your mind.”

Lan Xichen smiles politely around the shape of the invasive and utterly inappropriate question that immediately springs to the tip of his tongue.

Xiao Xingchen’s gaze is shrewd over his ever-smiling lips as he says, “You would hardly be the first person to ask what happened to us, Zewu-Jun, if that’s what you’re curious about.”

Despite the flush in his ears, Lan Xichen offers them a bow that’s more than half-apology, his smile twisting towards rueful. “Ah..I have only just seen your injury for the first time in Mingjue’s memories today. I hope you will forgive me, but seeing you hale and hearty immediately after is…surprising. My apologies.”

Xiao Xingchen’s gaze softens. “No apologies necessary, Zewu-Jun. We were quite lucky to have found Auntie Baoshan when we did to help us, and the process of healing has been harder than it may seem now when you’re seeing us as healed as we'll ever be.”

It is perhaps Xiao Xingchen’s gentle understanding and Song Lan’s calm, non-judgmental aura that loosens his tongue enough to blurt, “Do you really have one of Song-daozhang’s eyes?” It’s only his years spent in Lan Qiren’s comportment lessons that keep him from clapping his hand over his mouth like a child catching themselves in a lie.

“Xingchen is an ungrateful husband and wouldn’t accept both of them,” Song Lan says, so deadpan in the flat, mechanical way of early computer speech that Lan Xichen can’t help but be shocked into laughter. It’s probably for the best that his next questions (which ones are Song Lan’s eyes? Do the prosthetic eyes do anything interesting since they were designed by the genius Baoshan Sanren?) are cut off mercifully at the knees by Lan Wangji’s arrival. Lan Xichen feels his face light up in happy recognition the moment he spots his brother over his companions’ shoulders, and so he has the pleasure of watching Lan Wangji jerk to a stop in shock when the Immortal pair turn around in synch to see what he’s looking at for themselves.

“Ah. Hanguang-Jun,” Song Lan greets with a nod that Xiao Xingchen mirrors beside him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Lan Wangji blinks three times in quick succession before he steps forward again to finish closing the distance between them, and Lan Xichen hides an indulgent smile behind his hand at his brother’s startled awe. He covers it well enough by dipping into a deeply respectful bow, though there’s no hiding how starstruck he is (at least not from Lan Xichen anyway) when Xiao Xingchen reaches out to pull him out of it again with a gentle hand under his forearm.

“It’s alright, we’re all equals here,” Xiao Xingchen is quick to soothe. “You’re a pilot for Immortal Mountain now too, after all, aren’t you?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji recovers enough to respond, though his eyes are still a bit too wide. “With Wei Ying.”

“Yes, of course. We just met your Wei Wuxian downstairs, and naturally everyone’s heard of his incredible innovations – even those as removed from the news cycle as we are.”

Lan Xichen doesn’t bother hiding his fond smile when praising Wei Wuxian and his work turns out to be precisely the correct way to make Lan Wangji loosen up enough to push past his surprise, his lips and the corners of his eyes softening ever so slightly as he nods (though Lan Xichen is sure he’s the only one present who can see that as a sign of his brother relaxing).

“Wangji, I should go back down to research for the debrief. Would you mind escorting our guests for the day?”

“Mn. An honor,” Lan Wangji says, as cursed with the Lan Sincerity™ (as Wei Wuxian has coined it) as Lan Xichen himself is. “I was observing the repair of a patch of deteriorated armor,” he adds, his attention solely on Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. “If you would prefer not to do so, we may do something else.”

Song Lan’s smooth, mechanical voice is a visible balm to Lan Wangji’s startled tension, his brother’s shoulders sliding down the inch or so they’d crept up towards his ears when the man says, “No, that sounds good. We’ve already seen one old friend here, it’s time to say hello to the other.”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji says nothing else before he turns on his heel to march back the way he’d come, slowly enough that Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan have enough time to offer Lan Xichen small twin smiles and quiet thanks before they take their leave. Lan Xichen watches them go until they disappear back in the direction of the lifts to the upper levels of the bay. Only once they’re out of sight does he give into the temptation to shake himself all over like a wet dog and pinch himself on the arm for good measure.

If anyone had told him when he’d still been in Tokyo that coming to Shanghai would mean meeting and befriending (and romancing) so many fascinating people – people that he’s looked up to for so many years – he never would have believed it. Still can’t entirely believe it, honestly, though his completed drift with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao is strong evidence that he can’t possibly refute that all of this is really happening.

Teeth and brain thoroughly rattled (yet everything still exactly as it had been moments before), Lan Xichen turns his feet once again towards the corridors that’ll take him back to his partners, and has to put genuine effort into keeping himself from running pell mell down them just to see them sooner.

-/-

“Close your mouth, Wei,” Nie Mingjue gruffs once Lan Xichen has left with Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen in tow. When Wei Wuxian stays frozen staring at the doorway, Nie Mingjue cuffs him (lightly) on the back of the head to get him in gear and the man startles out of his stunned stupor with a little yelp and an overly-theatrical rub at the back of his head that can’t possibly be smarting just from that.

“Holy shit,” he breathes and looks around as if to check that everyone else saw what he did. “Holy fucking shit!!”

“You have a job to do before you’re free to go ask for their autograph,” Nie Mingjue reminds him, though he’s relatively sure he can trust Wei Wuxian not to do something so shameless as that, even if they are his heroes. (He abruptly remembers his and Lan Wangji’s extremely shameless nightly endeavors and adjusts that ‘relatively sure’ to something more like ‘desperately hopes’.)

With a loud snap of his fingers in front of Wei Wuxian’s shining eyes he adds,“Talk to me about the Drift, Wei,” and that, finally, seems to get the man’s hyperactive mind back on the right track. Talking about his work usually does, even if little else is capable of doing so.

“Right! Drift. Uhhhh yep, yeah, here’s your readout, everything is honestly textbook perfect. We’ll probably get you to do it here in the simulator again a few more times under slightly different conditions each time just to make sure everything goes smoothly each time you Drift and make sure it can happen as quickly as it needs to now that you’ve established the connection, but yeah you guys are good. You won’t be able to Drift without the accommodations we made, that’s already well established, but with all three of you in there to distribute the neural load and with the dampers on each of your connections to make sure you don’t burn yourselves out like me, you can Drift just like anyone else out in the field, no problem.”

Nie Mingjue glares down at the long roll of paper covered in incomprehensible figures that Wei Wuxian had handed him and is eternally glad that the only men in the room who can likely tell he’s about to cry are his brother and Jin Guangyao, both of whom are too busy fussing over their precious Drift rig to notice.

He can Drift again. Properly. Without hurting either of his partners – men he would die for in a heartbeat, without an ounce of regret. He doesn’t have to hold Jin Guangyao back anymore. He can be who his partner wants. Who Jin Guangyao needs.

“I mean not that I’d recommend the three of you hopping in a Jaeger to join the rotation – ah..hah not that I’m doubting your judgment, Chifeng-zun! Do whatever you think best, of course. But obviously one of the biggest risks with three-man teams is losing all three pilots in a fight, which is just…numerically a bigger problem than losing two! But of course you already know that, ha..”

“Wei Wuxian, if you don’t get ahold of yourself in the next ten seconds I’m grounding you for the next two weeks,” Nie Mingjue growls to try to cover his own Moment, though Jin Guangyao looks up at him at that precise moment and it’s no use trying to hide how much he’s affected by all of this.

“Mingjue, be nice,” his partner chastises. “You’re just as rattled as he is to see the Immortals, and they’re not even your childhood crushes.”

“Crushes?!” Wei Wuxian yelps. “They’re not..I didn’t…Their work is just very inspiring, okay?! Everyone in Asia is fascinated by them!”

“It’s okay, Wei-laoshi,” Mo Xuanyu says sweetly, his own celebrity crush still apparently going strong even after spending weeks working in close quarters with all of Wei Wuxian’s chaos. If anything it’s probably gotten a bit worse. “I understand perfectly.”

“You still have posters of Wei-xiong wallpapering your bunk, of course you understand,” Nie Huaisang snorts and their stupid back and forth helps settle some of the things that have rattled loose in Nie Mingjue’s chest, at least for now. He’ll probably have to talk about it all with Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen later, but for now he doesn’t have the luxury of giving into his emotions – nor would he want to, what with their current audience being what it is.

“Da-ge,” Jin Guangyao murmurs at his side as the other three bicker happily back and forth, none of them apparently embarrassed at all by their own behavior. He doesn’t say anything else; he doesn’t have to. Nie Mingjue slings his free arm around his slender waist (a rare show of PDA that he normally wouldn’t allow) then decides to just go for broke and ducks down to press a lingering kiss to the top of his head. Jin Guangyao leans into him easily and reaches over to take the readout from his other hand. Nie Mingjue relinquishes it easily of course – it’s Jin Guangyao who reads the same sorts of data from the computers up in the comms tower anyway, Nie Mingjue can never get his eyes to focus long enough to make heads or tails of them and usually just winds up with migraines for trying.

“Thoughts?”

“Wei Wuxian is correct. It’s textbook, right down to our heartbeats once we completed the Drift.”

Nie Mingjue takes a deep breath in and turns slightly, just enough to block Jin Guangyao from the view of the others in the room with his body. His partner blinks up at him, eyes deep and unfathomable.

“You can be a pilot, A-Yao. With me.”

The naked want that crosses Jin Guangyao’s expression nearly hurts to look at, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t look away. They haven’t gotten as far as they have now by flinching in the face of each other’s most vulnerable moments.

“We…We have to talk it over with Huan-ge,” Jin Guangyao says with clear difficulty. “And approach battle cautiously, as Wei Wuxian has suggested. Just because we can Drift properly does not mean we can fight, particularly with the issues you and I have with just seeing a Kaiju on a screen. And we can’t exactly leave the ‘dome in just anyone’s hands if all three of us are out there anyway.”

“I know. But-”

“Not yet,” Jin Guangyao interrupts him, softening the sharp bite in his tone with soft, apologetic hands petting the lapels of his jacket, smoothing over his chest as Jin Guangyao looks up at him again with a tiny smile. “I’ll tell you when, alright? Just trust me.”

“Always do,” Nie Mingjue says, because these days it’s the unquestionable truth. Jin Guangyao smiles a little more widely up at him, dimples in his cheeks, and it’s only the sound of the other three horsing around behind him that keeps him from leaning down to kiss those dimples as he and Lan Xichen both love so much to do.

“Ah…Chifeng-Zun?” Mo Xuanyu hazards a moment later. Nie Mingjue has had more than enough bad news delivered to him in his life to know that he’s not going to like whatever the boy has to say next. Still, he doesn’t even sigh before he turns around to look down at him, one eyebrow raised ever so slightly.

“What is it?”

“I wanted to wait until after your Drift to tell you, but..I’ve finished decoding what I can understand of Xue-laoshi’s notes.”

It takes a supreme act of will not to curl his lip in disgust at the respectful title for that rabid dog of a man, but it’s not an argument he wants to have right now – not with Mo Xuanyu, and not with Jin Guangyao either, despite the fact that he knows that the main reason the man hasn’t been put down yet is because of Jin Guangyao’s protection and assurances to Jin Guangshan that Xue Yang is more useful than he is harmful, at least for their purposes. Nie Mingjue disagrees – heartily and vocally – but he’s not feeling up for a shouting match at the moment so he lets it slide. For now.

“And?”

“Wen-daifu wasn’t lying to Yao-ge before. It’s his fault the Kaiju are coming faster, and that they know who to target and where and how.”

Nie Mingjue takes a deep breath in, holds it, and releases Jin Guangyao’s waist to turn around properly with his arms crossed over his chest as he exhales again to try to find his very shallow reserves of patience. “Tell me. Start from the beginning.”

Mo Xuanyu takes a deep breath in of his own as he turns to his computer to start furiously clicking and typing through screen after screen in quick succession until Nie Mingjue is fairly sure they’re all looking at the unencrypted contents of the hard drive that Wen Qing had said contains Xue Yang’s records. The labels of the files are incomprehensible to Nie Mingjue, but Mo Xuanyu starts navigating them with the ease of the hours he’s spent poring over them in between his study of past battles and Kaiju biology.

(Nie Mingjue thinks a bit ruefully that he works his brother and Mo Xuanyu far too hard, but there’s just no one else he trusts to handle such sensitive material, and the fewer hands it passes through the better anyway. Unfortunately, it seems to be his lot in life to make all sorts of uncomfortable or less-than-savory decisions such as this, even when it’s his family involved. He just has to hope that the time in which it’s necessary is coming to an end soon.)

“Okay. So – Xue Yang. Obsessed with Wei Wuxian’s work in Kaiju research, we all know this, he’s never bothered to hide it. But Wei-laoshi has had a lot of ideas that have never been put to the test – because they shouldn’t be, either because they’re either extremely dangerous, highly unethical, or both. Usually both.”

Wei Wuxian laughs a little sheepishly but pointedly doesn’t correct his newest mentee in these assertions. He doesn’t have to – they all know Mo Xuanyu is telling nothing but the truth.

“The difference between Wei-laoshi and Xue-laoshi though is that Xue-laoshi will do anything if it sounds interesting enough, no matter how much he really shouldn’t, especially when he’s not here for us to keep an eye on.”

“You don’t have to explain that dog or his madness to me,” Nie Mingjue growls. “Just tell me what he did so we can fix it.”

“Sure, boss. He Drifted with a Kaiju.”

The silence that follows that statement is absolute, and for a brief moment Nie Mingjue has the blissful thought that he’s definitely misheard, or at least misunderstood. The momentary illusion is shattered by Wei Wuxian leaning in close enough to grab Mo Xuanyu by the shoulder and turn him around, his ancient leather office chair squeaking in protest at the sudden movement.

“He did what?!” Wei Wuxian yelps, sounding far more terrified than Nie Mingjue would have ever guessed he could.

“Drifted with a Kaiju brain, harvested fresh right after a battle near Tokyo when it was still alive enough to talk to the rest of them wherever they are. So…I don’t think we actually can fix this one, if I’m being honest, if my guesses are correct about what this all means in the long run.”

“That’s…I thought about doing that once! And I immediately followed it up with at least a dozen reasons not to do it right off the top of my head! Even at my worst I wasn’t insane enough to actually try it!!”

“Reasons which I’m sure he saw in your journal and immediately ignored because as we all know, he’s fucking insane,” Mo Xuanyu says with a shrug. Nie Mingjue has to fight the urge to rub at his temple to alleviate a tension headache he can feel looming, completely irrespective of the Drift experiment he’d just finished with his partners.

“Alright, so Xue Yang Drifted with a motherfucking Kaiju. What now? How did this happen, and will it happen again?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Mo Xuanyu trills and turns back to his computer to begin pulling up a new round of records as he talks. “The short answer is no, it won’t happen again. It really fried up Xue Yang’s brain according to Tokyo’s head doctor’s notes during his assessment of him afterwards, I don’t think even Wei-laoshi could design something to accommodate him in the Drift. I don’t think Baoshan Sanren could design him something, and I’ll bet a month’s worth of snack rations that he tried to ask for it while he was following the Immortals around the States during their miracle healing.

“But to answer how he made it happen –” Mo Xuanyu sits back again and gestures at the rows and rows of figures on his screen, each one attached to a coded name that he’s decoded into a separate document pulled up next to it for their benefit.

“Wen Ruohan’s finances?” Jin Guangyao asks, startled. “Why did he keep — ah, of course. Insurance.”

“Blackmail, Yao-ge, call it what it is,” Mo Xuanyu huffs. “~Blackmail for a black soul doing black deeds for the black market~,” he singsongs in falsetto under his breath next and for a moment it’s eerily like Xue Yang and his love for levity when it’s least appropriate. Nie Mingjue swallows back the urge to tell him to cut it out in favor of asking something much more pressing.

“Are we implicated in this should any of it be found out by the public?”

“Hmmmm yes and no, Chifeng-Zun,” Mo Xuanyu shrugs again and swivels his chair around again to blink up at them. “ ‘We’ as in Shanghai Shatterdome? Oh yeah, no doubt about it, we’d be doing damage control for months probably. ‘We’ as in any of us personally who aren’t Father or Xue-laoshi? Harder to say.”

Jin Guangyao hums, “Mm. Tell me what Father’s involvement is specifically.”

Nie Mingjue knows that tone in his voice too well. Almost unconsciously he begins a countdown in the back of his mind, and he can’t find it in himself to be too upset to realize that Jin Guangshan’s days are very much numbered – likely not beyond double digits.

“Uhhh well…. Okay : If you’re the obscenely wealthy patron of a shatterdome with an already questionable reputation because of nepotism and historically shitty pilots and all, plus a policy of keeping a tight lid on information about your inner workings in a way that makes people a bit suspicious already, what do you do when you want to do highly unethical and dangerous experiments using Kaiju parts?”

“Outsource it,” Jin Guangyao says shortly. It’s curt enough that Nie Mingjue is sure he’s already figured out whatever it is that they’re being led toward. He gestures for Mo Xuanyu to keep talking anyway, since he’s not afraid to admit he’s not quite as quick-witted as Jin Guangyao is, nor as good at thinking along the same lines crooked men do.

“Right — you get someone else to do your dirty work. Someone whose reputation is big and bad enough that nobody messes with them anymore.”

“We already knew he was working with Wen Ruohan,” Nie Mingjue growls. “Tell me what I don’t know.”

“Wen Ruohan is only a small part of it, actually. But okay, so! If you want to run experiments on Kaijus in the tight privacy of a private lab you have a lot of logistical problems to consider – most of them can be solved by working on parts. Tiny bits of corpses. Cutting dead Kaijus up into pieces and dragging the pieces in here. Which we do! Every shatterdome in the world does that, and for the most part it’s on the up and up, we only take the bits we need to study, right? Acid sacs and eyeballs and exoskeleton chunks – and what we’re pretty sure are maybe meant to be their bones even though sometimes they’re like really weirdly squidgy-“

Nie Mingjue’s patience is not improving one bit. “Make a point, Xuanyu!”

“You start a black market! That’s the point. You play the long game and start a black market. Kaiju parts on the cheap to people who will turn around and jack the prices way up when they’re selling it to their contacts and then give you a good cut. When your buyers have driven the prices high enough, you start taking a cut of the physical spoils too – your finances stay consistent, but you siphon off which Kaiju pieces you want for your experiments while selling the rest for more money to cover the gap. You store the Kaiju parts in the warehouse where the corpses are already dismembered anyway, you have your people mark them all as ‘sold to private bidder’ just like the other black market shit that actually makes it out the door. Then you hang onto them yourself until it’s time to go pay a visit to your dear friend in Tokyo, perhaps to begin negotiating a legitimate Pilot Program deal for a totally random example, and you bring along a little gift – plus someone who has some really batshit insane ideas for what to do with them.”

“Xue Yang.”

“Exactly. So you take your Kaiju bits and your certifiably mad scientist over to Tokyo, and you let Wen Ruohan’s reputation keep away any nosy reporters wondering what the hell you’re working on in there. Then, once you’re not being watched anymore because this is all clearly legitimate, you let your mad scientist try Drifting with a Kaiju to see what happens.”

The stunned silence in the room is interrupted only by the sound of severely overworked computer fans trying to keep up with the sheer volume of programs Mo Xuanyu is running and the never-ending background noise of the rest of the ‘dome above their heads.

“All of that all these years just to ultimately have Xue Yang Drift with a Kaiju?” Jin Guangyao finally asks.

“Yep!”

“Why?” Nie Huaisang finally manages to demand – the first thing he’s managed to say during the whole explanation – sounding as horrified as Nie Mingjue has ever heard him. “Why Drift with the Kaiju at all?! Even Wei-xiong’s notes said it probably would be useless considering they’re literally completely alien to us. How would we even understand what we’re seeing, if you can overcome physiological differences long enough for it to work in the first place? What’s the point?”

“Wars make money if you’re the one selling the dead,” Nie Mingjue grunts, disgusted and more than a little nauseous with it. “If you can find some way to tell your enemy valuable information about your defenses — like who to attack and how and where — then you’re guaranteed fresh meat delivered right to your doorstep, ready to be sold, and terrified people ready to pay you any amount of money to protect them from the monsters you called to their door. And with Xuanyu’s prediction algorithm getting better and better…”

“Always follow the money,” Wei Wuxian pipes up, the same disgust Nie Mingjue feels dripping from each word. “Men like Jin Guangshan and Wen Ruohan? It’s all about the money, and everyone at the bottom dies for it. Is any of this really a surprise in the end?”

“The lengths that they will go to to accomplish these things is somehow still unfortunately a surprise, yes,” Jin Guangyao mutters darkly at his side. Nie Mingjue wonders briefly if he should attempt to comfort him – this is his father’s doing, after all – but thinks better of it when he glances down to catch a glimpse of the look in his partner’s eyes. Hard, cold, and so familiarly deadly it puts a chill up Nie Mingjue’s spine. He doesn’t think that he and Lan Xichen will be able to distract him this time.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to distract him.

This is no longer a matter of personal distaste for Jin Guangshan and the way he treats everything under the ‘dome’s roof like it’s a business deal. This is no longer a matter of personal safety, or the safety of only his pilots, or of the population of the Shanghai Shatterdome, or the entire sprawling city of Shanghai itself. Jin Guangshan, in his greed for money and delusions of power, has endangered the entire human race. Of course he knows that Xue Yang is far from innocent in this and he’d love to get rid of that mongrel too, but he knows who the driving force really is behind all of this. If not Xue Yang, then Jin Guangshan would have found another tool to use to the same ends. Perhaps his tool would have even been Jin Guangyao, had Jin Guangshan played his cards right once upon a time.

Nie Mingjue glances down at Jin Guangyao beside him again to find the man already looking up at him, steel and fire in his wide, dark eyes. Between the two of them, no words are needed. He knows Jin Guangyao can read his (begrudging, but unflinching) acceptance of what needs to be done in the set of his mouth, the angle of his brows…or however the fuck it is Jin Guangyao always knows how to read him like a book. He’s never revealed his secrets when Nie Mingjue has asked.

Jin Guangyao slips his hand into Nie Mingjue’s and doesn’t break eye contact as he says, “A-Sang, we’re going out tonight. Time to see how good your informers really are.”

Nie Mingjue raises their joined hands to press a short kiss to Jin Guangyao’s knuckles before his partner withdraws and storms off at a sharp, precise clip without another word until he steps aside just inside the door to allow Lan Xichen to re-enter the lab, looking the tiniest bit flushed, like he’d jogged the whole way down from the Jaeger bays.

“What’s wrong?” Lan Xichen asks, as perceptive to everyone’s moods as ever. “A-Yao?”

“Come here, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue calls, finding himself desperately wanting the softness the man can offer him that Jin Guangyao usually can’t, even under much better circumstances. “There’s something you need to see.”

“Don’t wait up for me tonight, Huan-ge. I’ll see you both in the morning,” Jin Guangyao murmurs, and he gives Lan Xichen the same squeeze of their hands that he’d given Nie Mingjue before he sweeps away properly, footsteps echoing steadily back down the hallway — a death knell, if ever Nie Mingjue has heard one.

-/-

Jin Guangyao knows, logically, that of course the way that he lives is not normal. Normal people don’t spend their days holed up in a deteriorating sprawling military facility centering their life around the same twenty-or-so people on any given day and mind-bogglingly massive interdimensional murder aliens. He knows this, and he’s never once claimed to be normal, not even before his life was exactly that.

But stepping out of the gloomy austerity of the ‘dome into the dazzling nightlife of Shanghai still feels like waking out of a vaguely unsettling not-quite-nightmare only to be doused immediately in sticky sweet, neon-colored alcohol and way too much cologne.

“Ooo Yao-ge, this way!” Nie Huaisang shouts excitedly, tugging on his arm. His face is splashed with so many colors off the signs around them it’s difficult to settle on one, but his teeth flash red in the glare of the closest bar’s advertisement, something bold and oversized that he doesn’t bother to read. Jin Guangyao lets himself be towed around, for once, and simply does his best to avoid bumping into the people crowded into the street with them — there’s far more bare skin and cleavage and cocktail-redolent laughter than he would like, and he thinks longingly of his partners probably getting settled in for the evening right this very minute in their quarters without him.

Nie Huaisang tugs him to the left at some signal Jin Guangyao doesn’t bother attempting to identify and he follows. Nie Huaisang pulls him down a short alleyway out into the next block of neon highrises. Here in the heart of the city they tower over everything, level after level after level of pleasure and fun advertised in every shade of neon imaginable, each shade somehow searingly bright enough to make his teeth hurt. Down here, in the pulsing, growling belly of it all, Jin Guangyao feels himself drowning, getting lost in the throngs and looking up into the night sky so far away it’s nearly impossible to see. Criss-crossing wires and sky bridges and the forced perspective of visual noise gradually fading up up up into the blackness of space leave him dizzy with vertigo if he looks for more than a moment.

Jin Guangyao drops his eyes back down to Nie Huaisang’s back just ahead of him in the crush and reminds himself of their agreed-upon task for the evening as a distraction.

“Ahh here we are!” Nie Huaisang finally cries, releasing Jin Guangyao’s wrist for the first time since they left the ‘dome in favor of throwing his arms wide as if to hug the building they’ve stopped in front of. As far as their surroundings go, this place sticks out like a sore thumb. Not a hint of neon on the place, not even a backlit sign board. Instead, a flickering spotlight — dim and yellow, the cheapest bulb money can buy — offers up a dingy epithet with no other context. White background, big black vinyl letters: The Cockpit.

“A-Sang,” Jin Guangyao interrupts, smile fixed where it should be with cutting precision. “I am not here to prevent your being stabbed for the sake of a subpar back alley blowjob -“

“That was one time, Yao-ge, and they only nicked me a little! I’m telling you, if he’s in Shanghai, which we have every reason to believe he is, then he’s here. I’m sure of it.”

Jin Guangyao eyes the bar again, just as dubiously as the first time. The place is a black hole amongst all the glittering allure of the nightlife around it, a shabby brick-and-mortar nothing little hole in the wall. Unfortunately, this all tracks far too well for Jin Guangyao to doubt his friend.

He heaves a world weary sigh, dodges a drunken lurch with an accompanying grope from someone passing behind them, and waves Nie Huaisang forward with an imperious gesture. “Let’s go.” He sighs again; the ‘let’s just get this over with’ is perfectly implicit.

The interior of the club is, somehow, even darker than the outside. Or it at least feels that way, the ceiling low enough that Jin Guangyao has to fight the urge to duck despite the ceiling being nowhere near his head. Much like the exterior, everything inside, even the floor, is painted a deep black that absorbs the low light thrown off by a collection of dark-shaded lamps he can count on both hands for the entire club.

It’s loud enough the moment they step into the space that Jin Guangyao has to watch Nie Huaisang’s gesturing hands to figure out where to go, and he follows the wordless instruction to go find them a table while Nie Huaisang buys them a round of drinks. Even if he could speak and be heard he knows his protests would fall on conveniently deaf ears so he just does as instructed, picking his way slowly through shadows and tables and the blurring outlines of the club’s patrons until he finds an empty table near the back. The music is slightly less deafening with a couple of half-walls in the middle of the space to block it, though of course the pounding bass is inescapable. It reverberates through the thick soles of Jin Guangyao’s standard issue boots and around all the hollow spaces in his chest until he feels less like a man and more like a drum for some unseen fists to pound on.

Nie Huaisang finds him surprisingly quickly under the circumstances, and when he slides into his seat with an overdramatic flounce Jin Guangyao ushers the drinks he’d deposited closer to the center of the table to avoid any of them sloshing free of their glasses.

“He’s here,” Nie Huaisang leans in to shout in his ear. “Just have a drink and wait.”

Jin Guangyao nods to show he’s heard and reaches for the less offensive-looking option of the drinks Nie Huaisang has brought. Almost all of them are some shade of sickly sweet artificiality and he suspects the presence of far too much flavored vodka in them, but there’s a dark purple something glittering in the dim lighting that seems safe enough so he takes it, sipping at it carefully in tiny little mouthfuls until he’s sure it won’t make his teeth feel like they’re going to vibrate out of his skull.

He’s made it most of the way through the purple thing – enough of it swirling through his head that he thinks it’s actually pretty good now – and grown numb to the thundering music when a dark shadow seems to oooooze its way out of the press of too many bodies in the cramped spaces between tables to slip into the only unoccupied seat at their table on Nie Huaisang’s other side.

“Hey babes,” Xue Yang greets, too quietly to be heard over the din, but Jin Guangyao can manage to read his lips. The predatory grin stretching across his manically expressive face needs no interpretation to know he’s up to no good, but Jin Guangyao just sips at his drink and watches Nie Huaisang tip his neck enough to let Xue Yang lean in and nibble at him in greeting. (There is a Reason, capital R, that Nie Huaisang comes out to places like this, and once upon a time Xue Yang had been one of his regular hookups until they’d gotten bored of each other’s neuroses and settled into a weirdly combative and flirtatious truce. Jin Guangyao doesn’t like being reminded of that period of their lives too often, since they’d both been completely insufferable throughout it.)

Nie Huaisang allows the necking for roughly half a minute before he catches Jin Guangyao’s raised eyebrow and swats Xue Yang away with his closed fan, eyes a little unfocused from the trio of cocktails he’s already downed with impressive disregard for how they must taste.

“You’ve really done it this time, Xue-xiong,” Nie Huaisang pouts, somehow loud enough that Jin Guangyao can just hear him over the music. “Messing around with Kaiju brains? Naughty naughty.”

Xue Yang throws his head back to cackle, his long, sharp canines teeth glinting strangely in the lamplight. “Finally figured it out?! Took you long enough, I heard you got hold of my notes weeks ago! ~Someone’s out of practice~!” Jin Guangyao grinds his teeth around the urge to smile at Xue Yang’s sing-songy needling, his ability to pick up on and prod at sore spots as unerring as ever. Right on cue, Nie Huaisang pouts and hits him with the fan again, hard enough this time that Jin Guangyao knows it must’ve actually stung at least a little (though naturally pain is not exactly a deterrent for Xue Yang).

“I have better things to do than read through all your batshit ramblings, Xue-xiong! A-Yu is doing it, I’m still mad at you for destroying all my trackers.”

“Shoulda hid one in my ass if you wanted me to keep any of them,” Xue Yang snorts and makes a grab for the last drink on the table, something blood-red and glittering like Jin Guangyao’s had been. “At least then I could’ve had some fun with it before I took it out back and shot it.”

“Perhaps this is a conversation we could continue somewhere that won’t permanently destroy our hearing,” Jin Guangyao offers, grimacing at the sight of Xue Yang licking his cocktail-red lips with an overly theatrical eyebrow waggle, the glass already drained in three massive gulps.

“Sure, Yao-ge, whatever you say! Let me show you to my ~office~.”

Said ‘office’ is a room (to be very very loose with the word) made out of moldering crates in the suspiciously damp back alley behind the bar. Jin Guangyao doesn’t bother resisting the urge to rub at his temples as the fire door swings shut behind them with a loud clang that reverberates off the brick walls tight around them.

“Your existence both terrifies and disgusts me.”

“Aww, I missed you too, Yao-ge.”

Jin Guangyao sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, leveling an unimpressed Look at Xue Yang sprawling out over the staggered stack of the crates like they’re the most comfortable throne in the world. It’s just as dim back here as it had been inside, perhaps moreso, but at least the music is now nothing more than a thumping he can feel only in the soles of his boots, so it’s…debatably an upgrade.

“So – you finally came to find me. Took you long enough! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You know you’re supposed to come back to the ‘dome if you’re in Shanghai,” Nie Huaisang pouts as he sits down on Xue Yang’s shins hard enough to make the crates creak ominously and Xue Yang winces around the lollipop stick between his teeth, though whether that’s from the damage to his shins or from the thought of coming back to the shatterdome is unclear.

“No can do, Sangsang. Got too many projects out here, you know how it is.”

“Projects like trying to figure out how to get the Kaijus to work for the worst men imaginable?”

Xue Yang’s creeping grin grows so wide Jin Guangyao personally believes it shouldn’t be allowed to exist on a human face, predatory and sharp at the edges, his lollipop stick trapped in the gap between his abnormally sharp canine and its counterpoint in his lower jaw.

“How’s Daddy Mustache liking that one?” Xue Yang asks him, not even bothering to pretend to deny it. “He figured it out? Pissed? Gonna come after me lecturing me about righteousness and seducing me with threats to chop my head off just like old times?”

“Mingjue has more on his mind than the actions of one unhinged man,” Jin Guangyao says smoothly despite the fact that everyone present knows precisely what he really means. It’s hard to just turn off a lifetime of self-preserving lies, even now, even with the two men – besides his partners – who know him more thoroughly than anyone else.

“So you haven’t told him the full extent yet because it will ruin so many of your elaborate schemes if you tattle on little old me and get me tied up nice and tight again so I can’t work my magic,” Xue Yang translates in that obnoxious way he has of yes, getting to the point, but doing it in such a way that’s so irritating Jin Guangyao’s first instinct is still to double down on his lies. But Nie Huaisang’s gaze is just as sharp on him over the edge of his fan, a silent warning away from old habits that got him in hot water before, so he takes a deep breath and sweetens his smile, unnervingly saccharine and perfect. A counterpoint to Xue Yang’s feral grin.

“Yes. I have a vested interest in making sure you continue to walk free for a little longer, dangerous as that might be for the general populace and every piece of candy within a ten mile radius.”

Xue Yang throws his head back to cackle again and when he sits forward again he slings his arms around Nie Huaisang’s waist to tug him up onto his knees instead of his shins, resting his head on his shoulder to pout up at Jin Guangyao through his eyelashes.

“You got me candy, Yao-gege? Just for me?”

Jin Guangyao raises his eyebrows at the man as Nie Huaisang wards him off with a few more good whacks from his fan, though he still doesn’t stand up from his perch on Xue Yang’s lap. Jin Guangyao already knows better than to so much as think about Nie Huaisang acting like this with Xue Yang while around Jiang Wanyin, who’s apparently taken it upon himself to bully Nie Huaisang into actually taking care of himself and becoming a slightly more functional human being in a slightly aggressive courting ritual that makes sense only to him (and, he supposes, Nie Huaisang). Xue Yang is still – probably more than ever – very much a massive flight risk at every moment, and sitting on him (i.e. giving him the sort of semi-violent affection he sorely needs but can only barely tolerate at the best of times) is pretty much the only surefire way to keep him around long enough to actually talk to him.

“I might have,” Jin Guangyao shrugs. “It’s difficult for me to remember when I’m so busy attempting to clean up one of your extremely dangerous messes. Again.”

Xue Yang huffs at that and slumps back, pouting and crunching on his lollipop a few times loudly before he spits out the bare paper stick and holds his hand out imperiously.

“You’re no fun anymore, Yao-gege, what happened to you?” he asks, his jutting lower lip and upturned brows quickly morphing into another manic grin when Jin Guangyao sighs as if put upon and slaps a fresh lollipop into his waiting palm. The plastic wrapper crinkles too loudly as he rips it off with his teeth and pops the sucker between his lips so fast Jin Guangyao hears the candy clack sharply against his front teeth. “Okay fine, you can spend another day off the list of people I’m gonna kill. But seriously, where’s your edge these days?! I found a way to talk to the giant aliens attacking all the stupid little humans!! No one else is doing that, not even Wei Wuxian! Call me a good boy at least, Yao-gege!”

“It is a lot like the kinds of things you and A-Yu used to get up to before Da-ge caught on and shut it down,” Nie Huaisang says with a shrewd little glint in his eye that Jin Guangyao doesn’t want to admit gets his hackles up, spine tingling with the need to defend himself and his past desperate measures. “Looking to start up the demon squad again, Yaoyao?”

Jin Guangyao pinches at the bridge of his nose again as he begs the unforgiving cosmos for some sort of extra ration of patience. “There was never such a thing as a ‘demon squad’, and if I were to ever start a group dedicated to ethically reprehensible, underground, black market research I would not allow my angsty teenage brother to give it a name at all, but especially not the ‘demon squad’!”

“Don’t even give him credit, Sangsang, I got it all from Wei Wuxian’s notes anyway, not his,” Xue Yang sighs, breezy and carefree. “And don’t help him avoid my question, either! What the fuck’s happening under Daddy Warbucks and the stupid Mustache these days, hm? They beating you up in there? Tying you down? Kink should loosen you up, Yao-gege, not wind you tighter. What are you riding my dick for all the sudden?”

“A-Sang,” Jin Guangyao says pleasantly, refusing to rise to Xue Yang’s clumsy baiting. He’s getting rusty, and Jin Guangyao has at least one solid theory as to why, though he’s not going to debase himself enough to ask. He doesn’t have to. “I’d like to talk to Xue-xiong alone for a moment if you don’t mind.”

“Aiyah,” Nie Huaisang pouts up at him from his perch. “I go to all this work to track him down and bring you out here to see him just like you asked, and now you’re brushing me off?? Rude, Yao-ge!”

Jin Guangyao sighs and withdraws his rarely-used cell phone from his pocket, clicking through a few screens quickly as Xue Yang crunches on his sucker and eyes Nie Huaisang’s exposed jugular like he’d very much like to chew through that instead.

“I just sent you money for drinks, go get whatever ridiculous concoctions you want and I promise I’ll drink one if you wait for me inside.”

“A man who knows the way to my heart! Thanks Yao-ge!!”

“Hey — nothing with tequila!” Jin Guangyao calls after his friend’s rapidly-retreating back, but considering all he gets in return is a maniacal cackle he’s pretty sure he’s in for a bitch of a hangover tomorrow either way, tequila or not. He looks down at Xue Yang again where he’s still lounging as the door slams shut behind Nie Huaisang again. Xue Yang — always better than anyone at scenting blood in the water — immediately grins his wickedly wide smile, all sharpened canines and eyes glittering with the sort of mischief that leads to world-shattering catastrophes…like Kaiju suddenly targeting specific Pilots with personally tailored attacks, because Xue Yang told them to.

“I don’t work for free,” Xue Yang says. “You know how steep my real prices are for the good shit.”

“I know. I’m offering you protection.”

“Mm you’re already doing that for me, gege, don’t try to play coy. You’ve got to up the ante now.”

“Not for you; for your family.”

The grin flickers off Xue Yang’s face quick as a burnt light fizzling out, expression as cold and furious as Jin Guangyao had expected.

“I don’t have a family.”

“Alright.” Jin Guangyao shrugs. “But that’s my offer. Anything you need to keep them safe you’ll have — money, papers, medical care, a house somewhere the Kaiju will never reach. Whatever it takes.”

In the blink of an eye, Xue Yang is no longer lounging on his stack of musty crates, but is instead snarling right in Jin Guangyao’s face, the cold bite of a knife at his throat as his back collides with the slimy bricks on the opposite side of the alley.

“Shut up!! I don’t have a family!” Xue Yang bites out, his breath redolent with sugar; underneath it, the thick tang of blood. Jin Guangyao quietly flicks his own knife out of his sleeve, though he doesn’t threaten Xue Yang with it just yet.

“Fine, so they’re not your family. Sugar daddies, then, though from what I understand they donate as much of their royalties and pensions as they can to orphanages and relief shelters, so I’m not sure if they can really qualify as anything other than your ‘handlers’ at best.”

Xue Yang withdraws as suddenly as he’d pounced, affecting an utterly flawless (and therefore obviously fabricated) aura of cold indifference. “I’m not doing anyone favors, Yao-gege. I don’t work for free, I told you, and I don’t need your fucking protection so just leave me alone.”

“You don’t need it – or they don’t, because they’ve already got such a good guard dog?”

“You have no goddamn idea what you’re talking about!” Xue Yang’s hackles are up again, knife flashing anxiously between his fingers as he spins it too fast to be seen clearly in the dim alley light. “What do they even have to do with anything?! You think you have a right to meddle in their lives just because they decided to walk back into your stupid Shatterdome for a day? They’re my toys to play with, not yours!”

“Mature, xiao-Yang,” Jin Guangyao drawls. “If you’d rather torture them than help them, that’s your business. I don’t want to force you to help me, but I will if I must. This is your mess, and you will help me clean it up, and you underestimate the lengths I’m willing to go to to ensure you get it done. You’re alive because I won’t allow you to die, and you’ll do as I say until I decide you’re no longer useful.”

“Hey!!” Jin Guangyao doesn’t take his eyes off Xue Yang as a young, high voice suddenly shouts above them, punctuated with the clang of something knocking hard against a metal grate. “Get your ass back in here, Yang-ge, the daozhangs are back! Stop playing tough and come eat dinner!!”

“Get back inside the house before I chop your stupid head off!!” Xue Yang shouts up at whoever it is, an ugly snarl on his face that Jin Guangyao can only assume is masking embarrassment more than genuine anger. His knife is still flickering between his fingers, after all, and if he were truly angry it would likely be sailing through the air to lodge itself somewhere in this person’s face by now.

“My offer stands,” Jin Guangyao says in the ringing silence of the window slamming shut again. “You can say you don’t want it, but you can’t hide from me forever, A-Yang. The Immortals aren’t fit to return to active duty, and you’ve doomed yourself to an early grave with your little Drift experiment – if the Kaijus don’t kill us all first, your nerve damage will come for you almost as quick without proper care. Do this last task for me, and I’ll send you so far away everything you’ve seen and done here will be nothing but a fever dream. You’ll never want for anything again, and neither will they.”

Xue Yang is glaring at him again and breathing hard like he’d just run a mile, his teeth bared, hands clenched white-knuckled at his sides. He takes a deep breath in and visibly centers himself before he closes his eyes and forces his grimacing lips into his signature grin.

“Anything to get you to leave me the fuck alone again,” he chirps. “What’s the goal? I’m assuming I can have as much fun with him as I want?”

It’s Jin Guangyao’s turn to take a deep breath in. He’s been wanting this for so long – thinking of it in abstract even when it still made him sick with guilt. Daydreaming of it when it was no longer an ‘if’ but a ‘when’. Making quiet, hidden moves to line things up just right in recent months, just in case.

Just in case.

“Make it hurt,” he tells Xue Yang, even though he knows that’s a given, “and before it’s over, make sure he has no doubts as to who is standing behind you telling you to pull the trigger.”

Xue Yang nods and turns to go without another word, knife still flashing and spinning rapidly between his clever fingers. Jin Guangyao allows himself five deep breaths before he returns to the noisy, black interior of the bar, and when he finds Nie Huaisang back at their table he downs three shots of something in quick succession without so much as a grimace. Nie Huaisang just hands him a pint glass of water before he lines up the next shot with silent, grave understanding.

17 notes · View notes

offaeandcreation · 2 years

Text

To Live Without Regrets

Summary:

“If you regret killing me…”

Jin Guangyao could almost see Wen Ruohan leaning over him, his hair pouring down his shoulders like an ebony waterfall, a wide grin full of teeth, and scarlet eyes twinkling in false crinkles.

The invisible grip tightened on his neck.

“I’ll make you regret betraying me.”

Five times Jin Guangyao refused to regret his choices and the one time he did.

Pairing: Wen Ruohan/Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao

WC: 4,100

Warnings: Gore, Mild Horror, Physical Abuse shown/mentioned/implied, Non-con on screen but not too detailed, Bullying, Dysfunctional Relationships, Daddy issues (non-sexual), Sexual Content Implied,

AO3

Meng Yao saluted at his father’s feet.

The way his mother taught him, correcting his posture by tapping his back or knees with the gentleness of a butterfly, whispering to relax here, bend more, bow his head, and look at the floor.

He stared at his father’s dark boots, shiny leather with gold peony embroidery that glinted in the sun. The type that by stepping into too wet dirt would ruin them for good. An interesting choice considering they were at war.

“He’s too much a coward to walk on anything not laid in silk or gold.” A familiar voice sneered into his ear, “Did he even step into the battlefield?”

Meng Yao’s gaze flickered to the corpse laying beside him. Dirk caked silk white robes and the bloody stump where the head used to be no longer glistened with fresh blood.

“I have brought Clan Leader Wen to you, Fu- “Meng Yao’s breath caught in his throat, “-Clan Leader Jin.”

He received no response, and the rains did not grace the patch of dirt he stuck his nose into with any puddles to see his father’s reflection.

“Where’s the head?” Jin Guangshan finally asked, “I recall asking specifically for it.”

Only years of practice kept Meng Yao from brushing the Qiankun pouch attached to his hip, “… Lost in the chaos. My greatest apologies.”

Wen Ruohan burst into laughter, “If he doesn’t accept you, will you suddenly find my head?”

Meng Yao’s lips thinned. The pouch tugged at his belt, as if someone suddenly dumped a case full of logs into it. The silence stretched for several beats.

“It’ll do.” Blessedly, Jin Guangshan said, “Stand up, Jin Guangyao.”

Meng Yao stared at the dirt caking his dull boots. Did he hear that right?

Jin Guangyao?

Jin.

Jin Guangyao lifted his head. His father towered above him wearing gold silks and peonies, with only the vermillion mark between his brows glinting like a jewel. He flicked open his expensive fan, dripping in gold paint and priceless landscapes, and hid his unsmiling lips.

Finally.

Finally he could go to his mother’s grave and share the good news. Even with his cultivation lagging behind, even amid a deadly cultivators’ war, only with the gifts of wits and character his mother had granted him made her dream finally come true.

For the first time in his life, Jin Guangyao’s eyes watered along as a genuine smile tugged at his lips. He gave into it with a salute, “This lowly son thanks Fuqin for his acknowledgement.”

Jin Guangshan flinched.

“You’re dismissed.” He said as he waved his free hand in a half-hearted dismissal. And turned his back to him, “Someone, get rid of the corpse.”

“Was that really what you wanted all this time?” Wen Ruohan’s voice whispered.

Jin Guangyao’s eyes glanced to the side, half expecting to see the former Clan Leader Wen standing beside him. Only to be greeted by the Jin disciples crowding around Wen Ruohan’s headless body, some sending the occasional glare at him while others muttered to themselves about burning the body, that he won’t be reincarnating anyway without his head.

“Nothing I ever did could have replaced your desire to be acknowledged?”

Jin Guangyao bowed his head slightly to hide the movement of his lips, “It was my mother’s dream.”

Wen Ruohan cackled, his ringing in both of Jin Guangyao’s ears even when he turned his head, “You really fooled me then into thinking I meant something to you. Why bother with the pretense now?”

The Qiankun pouch pulsed with barely concealed resentment.

Jin Guangyao clapped the pouch, “Stop throwing a tantrum.”

Ice surrounded Jin Guangyao’s throat, like a pair of cold, clawed hands around like a scarf. He could barely swallow…

“Let’s make a wager.” Wen Ruohan crooned, “If you regret killing me…”

It was too easy to imagine Wen Ruohan leaning over him, his hair pouring down his shoulders like an ebony waterfall, scarlet eyes twinkling in false crinkles, and a wide grin full of pearl-white teeth.

The invisible grip tightened on his neck.

“I’ll make you regret betraying me.”

_____________________

Jin Guangyao barely suppressed a hiss as he sewed the gash on his forehead closed. Dark blood oozed in droplets, streaming down his face and occasionally into his right eye. Violet bruises bloomed around the gash. Did Madame Jin really need to throw an iron teapot at him?

“If you haven’t used up all your spiritual energy to stay up in the past fortnight, you would have enough to prevent those ugly bruises.”

Jin Guangyao’s gaze flickered to the far side of his bronze mirror. A soft outline of Wen Ruohan’s head bobbled where his unused pillow on his bed was. The rest of his body would never appear, probably because Jin Guangyao only kept his head.

“You made a promise not to play with my vision.” Jin Guangyao snarled, wiping away the wayward blood that once again seemed utterly determined to blind him in one eye.

“Oho~ Did you just snap at me?” Wen Ruohan taunted. The faint outline shimmered and grew as if he moved from a lying to a sitting position. If he had his body, that was, “You must be exhausted.”

Jin Guangyao ignored him. Having finished the last of the stitching, he considered his makeup kit. Makeup could risk infecting the wound, and the benefits didn’t seem to outweigh the negatives. Even applying several layers only hid the worst of the purple underneath his eyes.

Would his cap be enough? Or the way it sat on his head also aggravate the wound?

The bronze mirror reflected the hazy outline of Wen Ruohan’s head, appearing just several cun away from Jin Guangyao’s ear. His hands, if he had any, would sit on his shoulders, pale fingers settled like butterflies.

“When was the last time you walked around so exhausted you could fall over? When was the last time you walked without malice-born bruises?”

The answer danced on Jin Guangyao’s tongue. Like sweet Tanghulu given to a starving child.

The body-less head smiled at him in the mirror, “Was this all worth it?”

“Madame Jin is mourning.” Jin Guangyao interrupted. “She lost her son, and she is lashing out.”

The outlines around Wen Ruohan’s mouth pinched. A full-lipped pout that only a toddler could compete with, “By such logic, aren’t you implying he was dead since you entered Jinlin Tai? Wouldn’t his death mean she will throw heavier objects at you? By the end of the year, people would mistake you for a man-shaped bruise.”

Jin Guangyao closes the mirror with a loud clunk, “Fuqin wishes to have Xue Yang experiment with your body. See it turn into a fierce corpse.”

Wen Ruohan went quiet.

“You were once a powerful cultivator. It would be a shame to let that go to waste,” He continues as if reciting a textbook. “The resentment you must have from being backstabbed should be enough to compete with Wen Qionglin.”

The candle on his desk flickered as resentment poured from the ghost. It flicked some of Jin Guangyao’s loose hair, but the piles of papers on his desk remained undisturbed.

If Wen Ruohan had his material body, he would be growling.

“I talked him out of it,” Jin Guangyao said, replacing the medical kit into its proper place, “Your head is missing and Xue Yang’s pins work through the temples, for now.”

“Is that a threat?” Wen Ruohan hisses.

Jin Guangyao gave a one-sided shrug. Dropping the conversation. He reached for the towering pile of paperwork sitting since dawn- no, now several piles. Someone had divided up the pile, if haphazardly, into several.

A ghost of a smile flickered on Jin Guangyao’s lips, “You managed not to knock them off the desk this time.”

“See if I do you such a favor again.”

He snorted, “Then don’t come to me complaining about being bored.”

Wen Ruohan huffed and floated back towards the bed.

If Wen Ruohan was in his living body, he’d carry his chin up high with the most over-the-top grouch that only a spoiled mistress could make.

Many times, Jin Guangyao made the mistake of turning his head to look for something that wasn’t there.

Such a shame fierce corpses couldn’t smile.

“You know, it suddenly occurred to me… do you watch over that brat because you miss the Fire Palace so-”

“Enough or I will change my mind about Wen Qionglin.”

______________________

“Son of a whore!”

Jin Guangyao’s hands tremble beneath his weight. A weight he could barely feel. It was as if Nie Mingjue had indeed unleashed Baxia and carved out all his innards, leaving nothing but a gaping emptiness with only the barest layer of his skin left.

“Jin Guangyao!”

Colors flood around him. A flash of a blade. Whisks of white.

“Guangyao!”

Sudden darkness, copper in his mouth.

“A-Yao!”

Jin Guangyao flinched at Wen Ruohan’s voice. The warm glow of torches outlined the empty sitting room. He stumbled forward, falling to his knees. The gold pillow sank underneath his weight, not enough to cushion the dull vibrating pain that clawed up and down his legs.

“A-Yao.” Wen Ruohan’s voice said. Quiet. Soft.

Jin Guangyao felt his mouth move, words that used to come easily, like blinking.

He kicked him down the stairs.

He called him a son of a whore.

He tried to kill him.

Again.

“A-Yao. Breathe.”

Air flooded down his throat. Jin Guangyao gasped and choked. Bile licked the back of his throat.

“A-Yao. No one is here. That ungrateful brat can’t hurt you because he isn’t here.”

Soft outlines materialized in the air in front of him. Like wisps of light blue smoke. This time, instead of the smoke-like patches, Wen Ruohan fully formed his features. A solemn expression painted with the finesse of an artist.

Jin Guangyao’s shoulders sank, and he collapsed against the table. His breath came out sharp and ragged.

“Like them,” He wheezed, “he was like them all along.”

Wen Ruohan watched him, his mouth too unstable to make out its position, expression twitching between curiosity, concern, and even a flash of vindication, “Oho, what do you mean?”

Laughter bubbled out of Jin Guangyao. It came out soundless, but he still doubled over, unable to take a breath, “Won’t you just ask the question, Ruohan? Ask if I regret it all? Regret killing you to save him?”

He expected a smile to bloom on Wen Ruohan’s face. Now was the opportune time to ask about the wager. And maybe Jin Guangyao would say-

“No.” The words formed on his lips with ease. Along with the placid smile he long learned to wear.

Wen Ruohan rolled his eyes, “And you went and answered it yourself. Why bother asking?”

“Nie Mingjue acted kindly towards me once before. Defended my mother by shutting down the insults.”

When they called him a bastard. A son of a whore.

“And then he went and did it himself,” Wen Ruohan bared his teeth, “you did so much for him and he repays you like this? Ungrateful little brat. Hooting his own faux morality until he is no less than a rabid dog that needs to be put down.”

Jin Guangyao bowed his head. The table he leaned on rattled.

Wen Ruohan hovered by him.

He didn’t ask him why he didn’t regret it.

Weeks later, Wen Ruohan kept a lookout as Jin Guangyao snuck into the secret underground library at the Cloud Recesses.

“Are you going through with this?” Wen Ruohan asked him once Jin Guangyao burned the sheet music in the fireplace.

Jin Guangyao looked up from the flames. His face was lax of all emotion. Only the staccato of his heartbeat in his ribcage hinted at the swirl of unease he hid deep in his chest, “I was under the impression this would entertain you.”

“Try again.”

Jin Guangyao breathed in, then out. His fingers threaded through his hair. A tick that he thought he long had gotten rid of, “It’s for his own good. Imagine how much he could hurt Huaisang with the way he is going. Hurt himself. It’s best to put an end to his suffering.”

Wen Ruohan hovered in front of him, an artful brow shooting upwards, “And here I was thinking you were getting payback.”

“It’s for his own good,” Jin Guangyao repeated.

“Just say you regret saving him and want his life as payment for his abuse, A-Yao.”

________________________________________________________

His mother thought of every excuse for his father for why he had never returned.

“He must be busy,” she whispered one night after entertaining ten men, the bruises still fresh on her throat, “that’s why he hasn’t come for you.”

“He’ll come soon.” She said, fingering the pearl button as the illness stole the meat from her every limb, not even sparing the soft curves of her cheeks.

“A matter must have taken his attention.”

She waited.

She died waiting.

In the end, when he replaced his family name with Jin, Jin Guangyao watched the man he called father shirk his duties onto his lap so he could run off to the next brothel.

He watched his father from the corner of his eye, waiting for the warmth that his mother promised. The same softness that crinkled around his eyes back when Zixuan was in the room. But when Jin Guangyao spoke to him, Jin Guangshan looked more interested in the ‘antique’ vase in the corner of his office.

Wen Ruohan raised his eyebrow at him after one such meeting.

Jin Guangyao waved him off, “I got all I wanted from him: acknowledgement. What else do I need from him?”

“Whatever helps you sleep better,” He grinned at him.

“You may comfort yourself with that thought.” Jin Guangyao replied.

“Meng Shi was a famous entertainer,” Jin Guangshan said to a prostitute near an open window of the brothel, “but as a literate woman, she would be too much trouble.”

Jin Guangyao’s smile froze.

“What of her son?” The prostitute asked. Perhaps the one warming his lap.

“Forget it.” He hand-waved.

Xue Yang roared with laughter beside him, cursing out words that blended perfectly with the stampede of the crowds in the bustling red district of Lanling city.

Jin Guangyao’s smile remained pasted as he entered the brothel to retrieve Jin Guangshan. It remained on his face all the way back to Jinlin Tai, even with Xue Yang’s prods and Clan Leader Jin’s drunken rants.

He started trembling the moment he stepped into his room. His favorite clay pot rattled when he tried to lift it over the hot coals.

“Why are you acting so surprised?” Wen Ruohan materialized across from him. The ghostly sway of his hair blended with the curl of smoke from the coals. He wore a thin smile, as fake as the trinket Jin Guangyao’s “father” gave his mother.

“I’m not in the mood for your antics,” Jin Guangyao said, replacing the pot on the coals again. The top nearly popped off with how hard it rattled.

Wen Ruohan ignored him, “You knew he would crush you beneath his heel the first chance he got.”

Jin Guangyao’s hand tightened around the handle.

“I thought you sought acknowledgement for your mother’s dream?” Wen Ruohan’s head tilted to the side, as if to consider.

“Wen Ruohan,” he warned. The edges of his vision blurred in the deep ochres of the waning sun and a tint of light blue of Wen Ruohan’s ghostly form.

Blue pupils, long since unblinking, met his. “You wanted him to love you.”

“This is your last warning,” Jin Guangyao hissed through his teeth.

“You know what confuses me?” Wen Ruohan ignored him, “You weeped how your father kicked you down all of Jinlin Tai’s stairs when you first came groveling for acknowledgement. And now you are upset that he doesn’t love you when you forced him to give you the Jin name.

Why would you assume he would start loving you when all he saw was a waste of space?”

Jin Guangyao slammed his fist on the table. A sharp spike of pain flew up his arm. The teapot barely budged; it shook more when he held it, “My mother died waiting for him!”

And he never weeped.

Wen Ruohan watched him with a blank expression, “He never was going to come back.”

Jin Guangyao swung his head towards the ceiling. The solid wood of the dark table anchored him from to the tempest of fire brewing deep in his chest. A tear dripped down his cheek.

“You want me to admit I regret killing you? That I should have known from the start that the acknowledgment from my sorry excuse of a father was a mistake.”

Jin Guangyao smiled at Wen Ruohan. His cheeks aching from tension, “You know, I have a theory, Clan Leader.”

Wen Ruohan’s eyes narrowed, searching him. It only made Jin Guangyao smile wider. “What you really want is me to acknowledge I loved you. That it all wasn’t an act. That you were more than a stepping stone.”

Wen Ruohan’s nose flared. The ghostly smoke swirled, like ink dropped into water and then stirred, to the point only a cloud of blue floated in the place of his head.

Jin Guangyao waited patiently, pouring hot water from the clay teapot into the tea leaves he prepared. The handle a pleasant burn in his palm.

Only after he replaced the tea leaves did he continue, “I planned to kill you from the start. Not once did I reconsider.” He glanced at the ghost.

Wen Ruohan’s features slowly returned, rough patches where the eyes and mouth should have been, but still placed with an artist’s eye. It betrayed no expression, blank like in one of his meetings, or when the news came of loss after loss after loss.

“And I loved you. I didn’t fake a thing.” Jin Guangyao took a sip before reaching for the Qiankun pouch at his side.

“Men- Jin Guangyao, what are you doing?” Wen Ruohan shot forward, his head bobbing above the smoking tea.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be surprised,” Jin Guangyao said as he untied his belt, “Fuqin is trash who I shouldn’t have expected better from. And do you know what you do with trash, Clan Leader Wen?”

Wen Ruohan’s eyes bulged as he removed his decapitated head from the pouch. Eyes closed with every lash in place and mouth relaxed. Outside the pallid skin, sunken cheeks, and missing body, it almost looked as if he were asleep. Even his hair barely tangled—the preservation talismans did their job.

“Throw it out.”

“That was what I told you.” Wen Ruohan muttered later that evening, “I told you to throw trash out.”

Jin Guangyao smiled at the dark ceiling. The only downside of a fierce corpse head companion is the lack of body heat, “To be exact, you said to burn trash so it may be reborn from the ashes.”

“So I did. Were you planning on trying that with my head?”

Jin Guangyao huffed, “I considered. But I had a better idea—let the flames cleanse the dirt so a temple could be built instead.”

Around his mother’s grave. And Guanyin shaped to her likeness so she may reincarnate into a better life.

Wen Ruohan floated in front of him, a blue wisp of cold fire in the darkness of night, “Do you regret it?”

Jin Guangyao laughed. Deep and loud.

He didn’t know.

_______________________________________________________

“Do you like it, Fuqin?” Jin Guangyao taunted from behind the curtain.

The parade of ugly, old prostitutes sat on Jin Guangshan’s lap, working like they would any client. Rivers of tears poured down his father’s face with his wails muffled by the cloth muzzle tied securely around his mouth.

“You ask for prostitutes almost every day,” Jin Guangyao continued, “I got you so many. I did as you asked. Aren’t you happy?”

A bonfire lit in his veins, pulsing in his ears like war drums.

His mother suffered because of him.

He suffered because of him.

Blood, sweat and tears just to get his acknowledgment.

Was it a sin for a child to want their father’s love?

Blood. Sweat. And tears.

For a man who wouldn’t spare them another glance.

And now, Jin Guangshan, bare-boned and sick, tied to the bed, with his legs splayed out like his mother was forced to do for years. But even if every prostitute in the room sat on his lap one thousand times, it would only be the fraction of the men his mother had to entertain.

What a pathetic, weak little man.

Wen Ruohan roared with laughter beside him. Watching the spectacle as he would on a good day at the Fire Palace.

“I always loved your taste in punishments.” He wheezed, “Claim to only humor me back then or not, but truly, your ideas are something else.”

A smile dripping venom bloomed on Jin Guangyao’s face. A thrill of pure glee, hot like molten metal, bubbled in his chest.

He gave his “father” so many chances. Who else is he to blame but himself?

Wen Ruohan’s eyes met Jin Guangyao’s, flashing like rays of a bright star, “No regrets?”

Jin Guangyao laughed at him. A deep belly laugh that only Wen Ruohan could stir within him. “Regrets? Who in this world has time for regrets? I have a sect to run and a future to strive for. He’s as good as dead.” He grinned so much it hurt, “I can live now!”

Wen Ruohan paused, his own smile frozen on his face, “What of Nightless City? Weren’t you free then?”

“Only if I had your fickle regard,” The words spilled out so easily, as if Jin Guangyao was drunk, “What if you changed your mind about me? What if you found out I was a spy? You would kill me.”

Wen Ruohan’s good humor disappeared. His eyes, now only strokes of blue, bore into his, a seriousness that rarely graced his features.

“I knew.”

Jin Guangyao balked, the glee dissipating, leaving behind a gaping hole in his chest.

“Since when-”

One prostitute interrupted with a scream, “He’s dead!”

_____________________________________________________________________

Wen Ruohan didn’t dare appear during the chaos at Guanyin Temple. Dealing with a demonic cultivator and Nie Mingjue’s reanimated corpse was far too risky. And it wasn’t like he could do much, with not even his entire soul intact.

But then, after, it was too late.

“You wouldn’t let me live!” Jin Guangyao shouted at Lan Xichen before running towards the coffin, “Fuck you, Nie Mingjue, you think I’m scared of you?”

And in the next instance, Nie Mingjue’s corpse snapped his neck.

The seal on the coffin holding their corpses would last a hundred years. They wouldn’t be able to reincarnate, souls trapped to fight one another until one such day they could pass.

With his head still hidden in the Qiankun pouch by Jin Guangyao’s side, neither could Wen Ruohan.

Perhaps it is due to this that Wen Ruohan passed through the wards unchallenged. He floated over the coffin, yet to be buried.

“A-Yao?”

No response.

“The wager is off.” He continued, “I won’t make you regret betraying me. I promise.”

No response.

“It shouldn’t have ended this way. Come out so we can complain about it until they deem us ready to reincarnate together. I always keep my promises. You can come out now.”

Silence.

No, not quite. Just the groans of two fierce corpses buried below.

A tug pulled his attention, so slight he almost missed it.

Just by the coffin right on the outside, flicks of resentment fluttered around a stain of blood. Wen Ruohan floated closer.

Two characters scribbled on the side of the coffin. As if in a rush.

Regret.

Wen Ruohan settled by the coffin, right by the characters. He stared out through the broken door, watching the sky change from pitch black to light blue.

“You know, A-Yao… I never wanted to win.”

#wen ruohan #meng yao #jin guangyao #yaohan #ruoyao #jin guangshan #Nie Mingjue mentioned #angst #hurt #comfort than I sucker punch you #tragedy

10 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 13 days

Text

Fic Finder

Apr 12th

~*~

1. For the ficfinder: In the last "In the mood for", no 8 reminded me of a fic but I cant recall the one. Wwx is travelling by himself, writing letters to LZ, he stays in a town and it ends up cursed. LZ and the juniors arrive to solve the case. Wwx is acting weird and hides his letters. The juniors read the letters and find out wwx is angry and full of resentment about how he's been treated. They find out the curse resonates from him. They talk it out to resolve matters. It was written really well. Any idea? @kesterling

FOUND! i found it myself, it kept bugging me. The fic is sadly deleted but on the wayback machine: Dock of the Bay by Haysel.

~*~

2. Hi! This is for Fic Finder. All I remember is the ending, where Yu Ziyuan had her arms cut off, and that there was a part that mentioned that this was punishment enough as she would have to live her life with no pride. Also, she had an affair with Jin Guangshan, and Jiang Cheng was his child, and she had to become his concubine, I think. Hope someone knows which fic this is!

FOUND? sounds like the deleted "OOC!" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's avaiable on the wayback machine.

~*~

3. Hi, once again.

I’m looking for a fic that I seriously can’t find, at all.

So it would really be a great help if you could.

Wwx was brought to cloud recesses for healing after madam yu had whipped him so bloody he couldn’t move and wa sin active danger of dying.

The disciples who brought him there did so on a donkey I think?

Anyway they asked LZ to please befriend Wwx.

The healers weren’t sure if Wwx would survive. He does.

And joins the lan, befriending LZ oh and he can’t fight with his sword anymore because of the damage and something about his heart having been weakened.

That is all I remember.

Have a nice day/night. @ravenwithwings

NOT FOUND!🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

FOUND! 🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

~*~

4. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic I can't remember the name of, a modern AU, possibly set in the UK where lwj is part of some sort of anarchist/ community activist group and wwx joins. Most people in the group already know wwx and are reallly good friends with him but lwj is super skeptical about him. Also at some point I think wwx goes missing and lwj is super worried??? I can't remember anything else... thank you in advance🙏🙏🙏 @kavlobebeki

FOUND? now to begin the road by detectorist (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Light Angst, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Activism, Politics, Rooftop Conversations)

~*~

5. Hi, I'm wondering if anyone else remembers a fic similar to leading tone by silencemostofall, and pastel by antebunny, but that's set in the canon era while they're at Cloud Recesses? A few details I remember was that the coloured mark that indicated Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship started to fade, and that Jiang Cheng was allowed home to celebrate his birthday, while Wei Wuxian's was completely ignored by the Jiang Sect and so he spent it drinking and was caught by Lan Wangji. Apologies that I don't have more! @flaxenhairedsamurai

~*~

6. There was this fic on ao3 I don't remember, much, but it had this part, where lwj refused to go near his child(/children??) Because when wwx was pregnant he slowly grew ill or I dunno I think there was some complications (?) and when it was finally the time of delivery, wwx fell into coma I think. And lxc was angry with lwj for not even looking at his child / children when both wc were so excited for the baby.

There is a similar wx comic on Twitter. Can you please find both of them? The ao3 fic and the Twitter comic too please?

FOUND? I don’t know the Ao3 but I do know the comic similar to the description which made by AlasseTassir in twitter and they post it on their pixiv.

~*~

7. A while back I found and lost 😥 a fic where WangXian, I think, were smuggling Wen Ning (and probably Wen Qing) across a border somewhere and they put a fake mustache on one of the two and people kept complimenting them on how nice it looked. I think people even copied the mustache after that? Maybe even the bad Wens? That's literally all I can remember about it. I've tried every tag I can think of and haven't been able to find it. Hopefully someone will know. TIA! @lilyinthesnow

FOUND! Bloom where you are planted by luckymoonly (M, 44k wangxian, MM/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix It, courting, Mpreg, Sunshot Campaign, Fluff, Happy Ending, getting together early, Romance, WWX giving birth in the middle of the war? Most likely than you think!, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Smut, Drama, Blood and Violence, Minor Character Death, There Is Only One Bed, No Fall of Lotus Pier, Crossdressing, Shotgun Wedding, Mention of miscarriage (not WWX), wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, Giving Birth, Soft granduncle LQR)

~*~

8. hii i need help finding a fic. I remember it is ongoing it is a time travel one where wei ying travels back to the past decides not to join the jiang sect but to be rouge i remember he stole gold from the sects which made the economy go to shit the emperor got involved and disbanded the wen sect wei ying is now rich he is studying to pass some exams he has a nice house with a mini farm meets lan zhan and they fall in love and we find out from lan qiren that wei ying is a royal bc his father was a prince but he ran away to be a servant to the jiang sect and sometime near the last chapters the emperor gives permission to wangxian to marry and to take with him some princes and princesses to raise away from the palace. @wangxian4evermdzs

FOUND? Starting Over by SplitGirl28 (M, 69k, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Back to Childhood, Change his life, Different lifestyle, But WWX is still gifted genius, Unrestrained WWX, Living his ideal life)

~*~

9. Hi all! 👋 I am so sorry to bother you if you’ve already found this fic but I’ve scoured across the internet all day and decided to go ahead and ask anyway! I’m looking for a fic that has Wei Ying being adopted into the Lan clan as a child, he was scared to be kicked out and became rather solemn and a perfect lan clan member, on the other hand Lan Zhan has grown to be shameless and flirts with Wei Ying every chance he gets. There’s also some Jiang Bashing, OCs, and maybe some time travel? Help🥹

FOUND? could be the deleted "Uno Reverse" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's on the wayback machine.

~*~

10. Hello!! I swear I just read it and now I can't find this fic- but it's supposed to be an AU where wwx stayed behind during Lotus Pier's attack and Madam Yu and JC escaped but wwx stayed to fight, and lwj heard wwx was missing and he rushes to help wwx and he runs in JC and JY also trying to save wwx? Thank you in advance!

FOUND? for as long as he will let me by RavenclawLoki (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt WWX, Love Confessions, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, BAMF JYL, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

~*~

11. Hi, thanks so much for all your efforts!!

I’ve been looking for a fic and hope it hasn’t been deleted. Wei Ying, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli were mermaids but were also semi-amphibious? They could go on land for short periods and they helped fight the Wens during the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Ying is married off to Lan Zhan and he lives in the Cloud Recesses. Most of the story is centered around Wei Ying adjusting to his life on the surface amongst humans and navigating the relationship with his new husband.

FOUND? you’re a bird in the water / i’m a fish on the ground by plonk (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Merpeople, Canon Era)

~*~

12. Hi, can you help me find a fic . The story goes somewhat like Lan Wangji was in a nighthunt and had taken shelter in an inn . There was a storm, and Wei Ying came to that inn seeking shelter with a few orphan kids . Those kids and Wei Ying were both from the same, and they escaped from being sold ? I think Wangji was a bit older than Wei Ying. Also, Wei Ying could use his cultivation powers without any medium like swords or instruments. 🙏

FOUND? ❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)

~*~

13. Helppp! looking for a fic I read awhile ago and it just wont leave my mind, So basically Wangxian had an age gap LWJ was like 16 or 17 and WWX in his 20's but like "the cloud recesses" is some sort of mansion and the lotus siblings visit them in cloud recesses. I think it was tagged E if that helps

~*~

14. Hi! For Fic Finder. Thank you very much for your help. There’s a fic I thought I bookmarked but can no longer find.

The first fic is a dark Lans fic set during the Cloud Recesses arc. WWX and JC are betrothed in this universe. But LWJ and WWX fall in love. LWJ manipulates the environment and JCs insecurities to break them up. I believe it’s in a two part series.

Thank you!

~*~

15. Story of Yanxi Palace based fic. WY is the empress/consort who hides in a box from Sizhui. LZ knows he's inside the box, and as a prank/punishment, he uses the box to play a boardgames with Sizhui

~*~

16. Hi! I really am looking for this story in AO3 and still can't find it. It was about Wei Wuxian who got married to Wen Chao but Lan Zhan couldn't take it so he plans to take Wei Wuxian back by claiming Wei Wuxian each time he got (even in the wedding night of WWX and WC) and destroying the company of the Wens. As they (LWJ & WWX) continued the deed, WWX ended up pregnant and LWJ is more than determined to take WWX back. I do hope you can help me find this story. Thank you in advance!😘 @gegegeeee

FOUND? 姻緣 | this marriage was always predestinedby saccharinings (E, 43k, wangxian, Cheating, Infidelity, not between wangxian, WWX is married and LWJ persuades him to cheat on his husband with him, Dark LWJ, A/B/O, Feminizing Language, Exhibitionism, Size Difference, WagnXian Have a Breeding Kink, Stomach Bulge, Possessive LWJ, Manipulation, WWX Wears Lingerie, Rape/Non-con Elements, for one part, Hair-pulling Kink, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mirror Sex, Vibrators, Phone Sex, Rimming, Edgeplay, slight choking kink, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, LJY’s Big Fat Crush on Milfxian, Pregnant WWX, WangXian Endgame, Spanish Translation)

~*~

17. I'm looking for this fic that's basically a bunch of drabbles in one. Each chapter title is one word and serves as the theme for that chapter. I remember it having quite a lot of chapters, but I only remember one titled "kneeling" where Wuxian kneeled before Wangji (if you need a better picture, imagine that one scene in CQL where Wuxian kneeled and put his head on Yanli's lap in that one episode) @mindaneacc

~*~

18. Hey, I'm looking for a fic where LZ and WY are already married and living in Gusu. But they get separated from each other due to an illness/curse going through the Wen Sect, so LZ leaves to give medical aid. In the process, he ends up adopting Wen Yuan. There is a sweet connection between WY and Lan Qiren. But most importantly Wen Qing managed to assassinate Wen Ruohan. @mother-of-pigeons

I remember 18, though I can't find it either. The sickness/curse in question made people burn from the inside; it was contagious from breathing in the ashes of the people dying. There was a honestly touching scene with Wen Chao dying while Wen Ning kept him company. Wen Qing assassinated WRH because she was treating him for the illness, for which they'd finally found the cure, and he announced that he therefore would use it as a weapon against the other sects, by deliberately infecting them and holding the cure hostage. The only ones they'd allow to have the cure are the Lans, because they're the only ones who came to help. He also intended to marry WQ, as he'd lost both his sons and needed new ones. I think it might have been part of a series, with the first part showing how WangXian got together.

FOUND!🔒Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by Titans_R_Us (T, 11k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Mutual Pining, Temporary Separation, BAMF WQ)

~*~

19. Hello!! Here I am again looking for a wangxian fic. It's one that I read through here but never found again, anyway, the things I remember from the fic are: the sects transform into animals, being shapeshifters, the Lan are dragons like WWX, I also remember that the transfer of core occurred but the core has a mind of its own and it goes back to WWX's body, WWX faints and Wanji makes a soulmate connection... Those are the only things I remember!!

Note: I think Ao3 should have category filtering in our subscriptions, because I think I subscribed to the story but I already looked and couldn't find it... @sweettiebah

FOUND? sounds like "Revealed Truths Against Dragon's Fire" by Preludian_Staves. It's hidden on AO3 but avaiable on the waback machine.

~*~

20. Hi! I'm looking for a fic with a red string of fate au where wwx jumps off the cliff, but has a moment of weakness when he looks at lwj and end up tying himself to lwj before dying... And when he wakes up he discovers lwj kept the string bc when he wakes up as mxy he can see it connecting him to lwj. He flees and tries to put as much distance as he can between them but lwj still finds him at dafan mountain... It's a multi chapter (I think) with a happy ending. Help please? 🥺

FOUND? 💖 a trail of blood to find your way back home by blackelement7 (T, 19k, wangxian, JC & WWX, what if a soulmate string au, but without the soulmates aspect of it, a reflection on the nature of marriage, WWX is full of regrets, so is LWJ, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, JC & WWX Reconciliation, JC is trying his best but words are hard and his brother is stupid, Siblings, Canonical Character Death, but it’s just WWX, accidental 3zun feels, WWX as the most unreliable of narrators)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

100 notes · View notes

mxtxfanatic · 1 year

Text

So I just did some math, and y’all got me fucked up. I’ve seen so much handwringing in this fandom about the age disparity between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s body because “oh, lwj is soooooo much older than Mo Xuanyu, it ‘basically’ counts as a grooming that wwx was given such a young body and lwj is still attracted to him!”

It’s literally not true. Lan Wangji is around 33 at the start of the present-day plotline. Mo Xuanyu is 27. Y’all are so full of shit.

The math:

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are around the same age, give or take some months. They are 15/16 at the start of the Cloud Recesses arc, the discussion conference in Qishan happens less than two years later (16), the Wen indoctrination camp happens definitively when they are 17 (madam yu says so) a year later, then the Sunshot Campaign takes place 2 weeks after that with Lotus Pier’s fall. The war lasts for around a year or two, but wwx mentions he is 20 during the Phoenix Mountain hunt. This means he’s still 20 when he breaks the Wen remnants out of the labor camps 2 months later, and they abscond to the Burial Mounds. For Burial Mounds arc timeline, you have to go by A-Yuan/Lan Sizhui’s. A-Yuan is a teething toddler between one and two (jc deduces) in the Burial Mounds. He’s 15 at the start of the story 13 years later. The Burial Mounds settlement, therefore, lasts about a year. By the time of the siege, wwx should be 21 (again, give or take a few months). Thirteen years later, lwj is 33/34.

Mo Xuanyu, on the other hand, is given a definite age start. He is 14 when he is taken by Jin Guangshan back to Koi Tower. This happens after the siege but before Nie Mingjue dies (Jin Guangyao mentions this in the chapt. 79 flashback during his argument with Nie Mingjue about Xue Yang), and Nie Mingjue dies a year after the first siege takes place. This would mean that Mo Xuanyu is 14 when the siege happens and, 13 years later, he would be 27 when he sacrifices his body to summon Wei Wuxian.

Mo Xuanyu is not some barely-legal young adult at the start of the story, and the age difference, besides, would be 7 years at most. The fact that this is regular discourse is embarrassing.

#human reads mdzs: take 2 #nevermind that this discourse is STUPID anyways #given that wwx is literally the same age as lwj #but whatever #y'all also need to stop treating ADULTS PUSHING 30 like they're still teenagers #that 'you're a child in your 20s but a senior citizen once you hit 30' shit ain't cute

898 notes · View notes

lgbtlunaverse · 2 months

Text

One underdiscussed aspect of the bone-deep lack of mutual understanding during the nieyao stairs scene is that Nie Mingjue doesn't know - and can't know - what he's actually asking of Jin Guangyao. Not because he doesn't understand how his father treats him, or how tenuous his position is. But because he has no clue Xue Yang is a demonic cultivator.

Remember: Nie Mingjue is still alive, which means the position of chief cultivator doesn't exist yet and Jin Guangshan is facing heavy pushback for suggesting it. Most of that is coming from a fear that the Jin will try to become the next Wen. So having an outer disciple murder an entire clan and then not even punish him properly? This is a collosally bad move politically! You might as well be waving a red flag around yelling "I want to kill other sects with impunity!" There's a reason that years in the future, the moment Jin Guangyao becomes acting sect leader, he will immediately order Xue Yang's death (He doesn't actually die, either by accident or on purpose on jgy's part. But the point is that as far as the public is concerned he had Xue Yang executed.)

From Nie Mingjue's perspective, Jin Guangshan just shot himself in the foot politically for some random outer disciple. It's morally wrong, but it's also incredibly fucking stupid. In his eyes, he is asking Jin Guangyao to do the glaringly obvious right thing, even when exclusively looking at the Jins' self-interest. The thing that surely everyone else in the Jin also wants Jin Guangshan to do! Jin Guangyao can say that he has no influence on his father all he wants, but it is obvious how much work he does and so, as much as his father may not respect him, he clearly at least trusts Jin Guangyao's competence. Nie Mingjue has already tried shouting directly at Jin Guangshan during the trial and it seemed to work, but then Jin Guangshan went back on his decision like a complete idiot. So now Nie Mingjue is asking the guy who is famous for being good at rhetoric and convincing people to convince his donkey of a father to do the obviously correct thing with minimal downsides because again, to Nie Mingjue, this is all about some random outer disciple. It makes sense to ask this! It's a pretty reasonable request! Jin Guangshan can't possibly care that much.

Except of course he does. Because Xue Yang isn't some random outer disciple. He's the only good shot Jin Guangshan has at recreating the yin tiger tally. And Jin Guangshan reaaaaaally wants the yin tiger tally. So bad that he is fully willing to tank an ungodly amount of political goodwill to get it. Jin Guangyao is fully aware that not only will Jin Guangshan never kill Xue Yang, he isn't planning on keeping him locked up either. In fact, after Nie Mingjue is dead, he'll free Xue Yang and strongarm Chang Ping into denying the guilt of his family's murderer. Jin Guangshan cares a lot about keeping Xue Yang in his employ.

And Jin Guangyao knows this. But he can't tell Nie Mingjue that! Because then he'd have to admit they've been doing demonic cultivation. That the fucking ghost geneal is in their basement. That, oopsie, they actually also killed a whole other entire clan just a while ago after framing their sect leader for an assasination attempt and then used their bodies as fodder to make more fierce corpses. You know, in case one mass murder wasn't enough!

So obviously he's not gonna say that. Which means Nie Mingjue has no idea what he's demanding from Jin Guangyao, and therefore no idea why he absolutely can't fullfill that request.

I get why it's not mentioned very often because there are a lot of other problems which are both more obvious and more fun to talk about. (Who doesn't love a little overcomplicated trolley problem?) But I think it adds just another layer to the chasm between them in this scene. They're not just disagreeing, they're having completely different conversations.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #obviously there are like 50 other issues plus saber disease packed on top of this #which is what makes it go so catastrophically wrong #but this is one aspect of that i don't see mentioned very often #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #meng yao #i call nmj calling for xy's head 'reasonable' here. obviously it only is if you believe in the death penalty which i don't #but everyone in mdzs does so... yeah if xue yang really was just a random disciple this'd be a petty reasonable thing to ask #but he isn't except jgy can't EXPLAIN that so they're stuck

124 notes · View notes

stiltonbasket · 8 months

Note

prompt for the fem!wwx au: what about the fallout of jyl's broken engagement?

On the morning of Wei Wuxian's first day back at Lotus Pier, she wakes to the sound of raised voices in the audience room.

Squinting against the light, she stumbles out of bed and opens the sliding door to the corridor outside, where she finds Jiang Cheng hovering on the threshold of his own doorway with his arms folded over his chest.

"What's wrong?" she yawns, rubbing her eyes. "Is it bad news?"

"Bad news for Mother," Jiang Cheng mutters. "Fuqin just told her about A-Jie's engagement."

Wei Wuxian feels as if someone had thrown cold water over her. In the midst of her private delight that Shijie's betrothal had ended, she had not thought of how Madam Yu would take the news: and now, both she and Jiang Cheng are about to find out.

"Did Jiang-shushu tell Auntie that I..."

Jiang Cheng shakes his head. "No. I don't think it would have made much of a difference, but Father didn't say a word."

They tiptoe across the narrow bridge between the family compound and the audience chamber, hardly daring to breathe; and then, like a firework bursting on a dark, still night, they hear Madam Yu's shrill voice rising over Jiang Fengmian's.

"Who will she marry now?" she shouts. "Ouyang-zongzhu has no children, and all the other men in the Jin clan take after Jin Guangshan. How can I let her go to Lanling without Yuyan's protection?"

"I thought perhaps Lan Xichen might—"

"I knew it. You've had your eye on him since the year Zixuan was born, but that boy will do no good to any woman as a husband!" shrieks Madam Yu. "He has had no one but Nie Mingjue in his eyes since he was a child. What will become of our daughter now, Jiang Fengmian? Zixuan was the only man who might have suited her, the only one—and now, just because he complained about the betrothal, you—"

She takes in a great, heaving breath, and Wei Wuxian hears the thud of her heeled boots striking the floor.

"And now, thanks to you," she chokes, "I will have to watch as Wei Ying marries Lan Wangji—" Wei Wuxian winces, "—and as she becomes mother to the next Lan-zongzhu, whilst my child must settle for the heir to some backwater clan in Changlun, or a commoner—"

Jiang-shushu sighs.

"If I had not broken Yanli's engagement," he says quietly, "then you would have had to watch A-Ying live as she ought to do, in comfort and plenty with a husband who cares for her dearly, while our daughter lived in a gilded prison with a man who has made no secret of the fact that the very mention of her name is a burden to him. You would have watched A-Ying's children growing up without a care in the world, and A-Ying adored by the whole of Gusu Lan as she deserves—and all the while, our daughter, who used to weep whenever she trod on an insect in the path, she—"

He sounds as if he might burst into tears. "Could you bear it, Ziyuan? Can you bear to think of A-Li's children, growing up in Koi Tower, and hearing some relation from the branch clan saying that their father would never have wed their mother if their nainai had not forced him to accept her? Can you bear to think of our granddaughters watching Zixuan treating A-Li unkindly, and entering their own wedded homes with the belief that that same unkindness was due to them?"

Yu Ziyuan falters for a moment. "Yuyan would never let Zixuan treat Yanli that way. I have often thought that she loves A-Li more than she loves him."

"Then you are a fool," Jiang Fengmian says wearily. "Quan Yuyan might be your sworn sister, but she is Jin Zixuan's mother before all else. She knows that A-Li will be filial to her husband, and her in-laws, and she knows no other maiden would make a better mother for her grandchildren. Do you truly think that she would let A-Li go, if the choice was left to her?"

"I—"

"What does it matter if Quan Yuyan can ensure that A-Li is treated well?" Jiang-shushu asks. "Jin Zixuan does not want her, and she knows it. For the love of heaven, the entire Jianghu knows it—so how could you even think of asking to A-Li waste her life with him?"

Madam Yu must have opened her mouth to say something, but Jiang Fengmian cuts her off before she can make a sound.

"It does not matter if A-Li likes him. In fact, that makes matters worse," he says brusquely. "If she marries him, she will not leave him, no matter how unhappy he might make her. And I would rather keep her here unmarried all her life than watch her in pain.

"And then there is Jin Guangshan," Jiang-shushu continues, now sounding faintly ill. "I will not speak of my fears regarding him, but you are a woman, Ziyuan. Ought you not to understand them better than I?"

Madam Yu is silent for a long while.

"If you had such thoughts," she hisses at last, sounding very much like Zidian usually does in the midst of strangling a particularly fierce yaoguai, "then you ought to have spoken sooner, so that we could have found a better match before Yanli came of age."

"I made my thoughts known the year Jin-zongzhu tried to lay his hands on Li Shuai," Jiang Fengmian replies. "You were convinced that I was wrong, because A-Shuai was too young to understand what he might have done to her; but I know what I saw, and you still refused to change your mind."

A moment later, he turns and walks out of the room. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng exchange panicked glances before jumping off the footbridge to keep from being noticed; and after Madam Yu stalks off in the other direction, Wei Wuxian drags herself out of the shallow water under the bridge and makes a beeline for Jiang Yanli's room.

"Wait for me!" Jiang Cheng yelps, before cursing under his breath. "Wei Wuxian, for heaven's sake—"

But she does not slow her pace until she reaches her sister's bedroom and slams the door behind her, startling Jiang Yanli out of what must have been (judging by the look on her face) a very peaceful sleep.

"I'm glad you're not going to marry that stupid peacock," Wei Wuxian blurts out, the instant Jiang Yanli opens her eyes. "You deserve better, Shijie. Your husband ought to be the most honorable man in the world, and I won't stand for less."

Her sister's mouth twitches. "I'm glad you think so," she says mirthfully, reaching out to stroke Wei Wuxian's wet hair. "Who should it be, then?"

Wei Wuxian gulps.

"What about Lan Zhan?" she asks. "You could marry him instead of me, couldn't you?"

Jiang Yanli bursts out laughing.

"A-Xian," she gasps, "when we left Gusu, didn't you say that I ought to have a husband who loved me just as much as Third Shidi loves Li Shuai?"

"Well, yes."

"Then how could you possibly imagine that I might want to marry Lan Wangji?"

"But Lan Zhan is the best junzi in the world, in all ways. I'm certain of it," Wei Wuxian insists, ignoring the sudden ache in her chest. "He loves all things that are good and true, so why wouldn't he love you? I mean, he treats me well, and I make him carry my packages at the market and chase me all over Lufeng to keep dogs away while I'm running errands. I'm sure he'd treat you a hundred times better."

Her sister leans forward and rests her brow against Wei Wuxian's.

"A-Ying?"

"Hm?"

"You're a very silly girl, and I love you very much," she says tenderly. "Now go take a warm bath, or you'll catch cold."

Puzzled, Wei Wuxian drips her way out into the corridor and back into her own bedroom, where she finds a damp Jiang Cheng lying flat on his back on the rug under her window.

"No more peacock," he sighs, propping himself up on his elbows. "You know, I almost feel sorry for him."

"What? Why?"

"Because A-Jie could have made him the happiest man in the world, if he'd only given her a chance."

"I suppose so," Wei Wuxian says reluctantly. "But, Jiang Cheng—who do you suppose Shijie will marry now?"

Jiang Cheng puts his face in his hands.

"Not Lan Wangji, definitely," he mutters. "Did you really ask A-Jie if she wanted to take your place as Madam Lan?"

"Of course I did. Didn't you hear me?"

He looks at her in disbelief. "Really?"

Wei Wuxian nods.

"Lan Wangji has the patience of a bodhisattva," Jiang Cheng groans. "When it's time for your wedding, Wei Wuxian, I am going to laugh. Just wait and see."

#wangxian #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #fem!wwx au #my fic

214 notes · View notes

korpikorppi · 1 year

Text

The Untamed costumes extra:

Waist ornaments

We all know the beautiful, tasseled ornaments the Twin Jades wear hanging from their belts:

So, I thought an extra costume post looking at these and other waist ornaments seen in the Untamed might be called for.

Various kinds of waist ornaments, yaopei, have tradionally been worn with hanfu. The long tasseled jade waist pendants often seen in historical c-drama (and in the Untamed), are the type of yaopei called jinbu that were originally worn to hold down the hanfu skirts; @ziseviolet who runs an amazing blog on hanfu has this excellent post that provides more information.

So, in addition to the esteemed Lan brothers, who else wears a jinbu in the Untamed? Let's start with... him.

Jin Guangshan is wearing what to me looks like the most traditional style of jinbu among those seen in the Untamed. It comprises a carved nefrite jade (hetian jade?) piece that looks like it might be a variation of double dragon head huang (the lower picture is a piece from Han Dynasty era, shamelessly stolen from the net). From the jade are hanging three pendants of various yellow gemstones, perhaps yellow topaz and amber?, each adorned with a golden yellow tassel.

And we have more Jins wearing jinbu. No, not Jin Zixuan, who actually dresses rather modestly to be called a Peacock, but his half-brother.

Chief Cultivator Jin Guangyao wears not one but two identical waist ornaments hanging from his jade-decorated belt. The pieces comprise tassels of the same yellow as Jin Guangshan's, and beads of silver and various gemstones in red (ruby or garnet?), yellow (topaz?) and dark gray (that's a tough one... translucent black jade?), but I have not managed to find a good close-up shot of them. Do you know how many in-focus below-the-waist close-ups the are in the Untamed? Not bloody nearly many enough! Also, a little side note here! I have been watching the Monarch Industry / Rebel Princess, and just noticed that Emperor Ma Zitan wears rather similar double waist ornaments with one of his outfits. So this is probably a specific style of jinbu?

And we have Jin Ling, who wears the Jiang Clarity Bell hanging from his waist (the only one seen to wear it thus in the Untamed).

Jin Ling's waist ornament is quite interesting, because in addition to the small silver bells (two instead of one) it has two carved Bodhi Root beads (one depicting a lotus bud), a carved lotus pendant in what looks like white nephrite jade, and pale yellow double tassels with silver caps; identical to the ornament Jiang Yanli drops onto a stone, breaking the jade pendant, while waiting for news from Lotus Pier after the Wen attack.

So, do all Jiang Clarity Bells have the same construction? Are they all identical? It doesn't seem to be the case: at least the one Jiang Yanli gives to Wei Wuxian in Yiling before her wedding is different, with a different kind of large lotus bead:

So it seems that the waist ornament Jin Ling wears is the one that belonged to his mother, with the broken jade pendant repaired or, perhaps more likely, carved anew at some point before Jiang Yanli's death. If that is the case, Jin Ling has something from both of his parents: his father's sword and his mother's clarity bell. I do not remember if that was mentioned to be the case in the novel?

Talking about Jiang Yanli, she is the only woman in the Untamed seen wearing a jinbu. This takes place during the Phoenix Mountain hunt and when she stays at Jinlintai afterwards, and both her outfit and the jinbu are clearly Jin in style.

The jinbu comprises various silver beads together with a red, a yellow and a dark grey gemstone bead (similar combination as later worn by Jin Guangyao) and what seems to be a flower of some kind (not a peony, though), also in silver. And the Jin-yellow tassel.

Let's get back to the jinbu that the esteemed Lan brothers wear, which are quite distinctive. In addition to the two jade rings, they have some additional beads in silver and gemstones, and a long tassel.

The jade rings in Lan Wangji's jinbu are, I think, the finest white mutton fat hetian nephrite. Zooming in on the left image, it seems that the rings are not smooth, but might actually have carvings on them. If that is the case I'm guessing it could be a cloud motif of some kind, perhaps something similar as on the jade rings in the bottom image (again, found in the net). The additional gemstones seem to be either blue or colourless, perhaps topaz and aquamarine. The tassel is grey, similar to the tassel on Bichen.

Lan Xichen's jinbu has jade rings of what seems like translucent moss-in-snow type of jadeite, similar to the bangle in the bottom right image. Similar to Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen has additional silver as well as blue and clear gemstone beads in his jinbu, including a rather large blue stone above his tassel. It also seems there is a reddish bead, close to the top (seen in the uppermost image). Lan Xichen's tassel is very dark blue, nearly black, a similar shade as also found in Shuoyue's and Liebing's tassels.

In addition to the Twin Jades, Lan Qiren also wears a jinbu, but his is somewhat different from those worn by his nephews: instead of the distinctive two jade rings, Lan Qiren's jinbu has a large, flat medallion of white, carved nephrite jade and a decorative chinese knot. Unfortunately, I was not able to find any clear close-up shots of either one, so I'm not able to say anything more precise about them... If I come across any later, I'll update this.

The additional beads in the Grandmaster's jinbu are quite small, and seem to be rather dark (blue?) in colour, but it is quite impossible to see what stone they might be made of (lapis lazuli might be one option). The tassel of his jinbu is also grey, or perhaps bluish grey.

To end this, I should perhaps point out that even if I've made the assumption that the additional beads would be gemstones, I've understood glass beads were also traditionally used, so coloured glass might also be a feasible option, also in-universe.

But what would I give for a few clear closeups!

#the untamed costumes #waist ornaments #jinbu #theuntameddaily #the twin jades #lan wangji #lan xichen #jin guangshan #jin guangyao #jin ling #jiang yanli #jiang clarity bell #lan giren #long post #guzhuang #mine

823 notes · View notes

shanastoryteller · 1 year

Note

Happy Valentines, Shana! More Female!Mo Xuanyu!Wei Wuxian please? The drama and identity porn and hijinx are Too Good!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Through several death defying feats and lots of bruises, Wei Wuxian has finally strengthened Mo Xuanyu’s core enough to track the threads of the curse mark. This should be a moment of triumph, what he’s been building towards, finally able to see who it is that drove Mo Xuanyu to such foolish, desperate lengths.

Mostly he’s just frustrated.

“Jin Guangshan?” he demands once he pulls himself out of his meditation. “Of all the – he’s not even that good of a cultivator! If she had the power to summon me, surely she had the power to murder him herself!”

Probably not enough power to get away with it, to keep herself from getting caught and tried and executed, but that shouldn’t matter. She died anyway.

Great. Just great. Even if he were willing to kill him, he’s nowhere near Jin Guangshan. Mo Xuanyu should have really left him a note or something. Then he could have dealt with this before being dragged to Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian pauses, considering. Is he willing to kill Jin Guangshan? He’s never liked the man. From his lecherous behavior to his actions after the war and especially with how he’d treated the Wen, he’s never gained an ounce of respect from him. Not to mention forcing Mo Xuanyu into this marriage and legitimatizing her only to prevent his son from being with the man who loves him.

Is that worthy of death? He’s killed for less, but Jin Guangshan is also his sister’s father in law and his nephew’s grandfather.

He wishes Shijie was here. She or even Jiang Cheng would know what he should do.

The thought sends a pang through his chest that he does his best to ignore. He misses his siblings. Being able to see Lan Zhan again, especially when he started being sort of nice to him, is wonderful. But the days he’d been able to spend with Shijie and Jiang Cheng had been too short, and too little, when he couldn’t tell them who he was and had no reason to want to be around them so desperately.

He’d only managed to get glimpses of his nephew, who had his sister’s sweet face and Jin Zixuan’s unfortunate scowl. He’d wanted to go over and pinch his cheeks, but even as his aunt that hadn’t felt like something that he was allowed.

Wei Wuxian breathes in then out, forcing the phantom pain out on his exhale with years of practice.

He can’t ask his siblings. But he can ask Mo Xuanyu’s.

If anyone knows the true moral character of Jin Guangshan, it’s Jin Guangyao.

Wei Wuxian had been avoiding him, both because he wasn’t sure how well Jin Guangyao had known his half sister and he didn’t want to arise suspicion, and also because he hadn’t known him that well the first time around. He’d known him first as an overly polite Nie general, then their spy during the war, and finally as Jin Guangshan’s dutiful son.

None of those roles had ever seemed to fit him quite right. Seeing him interact with Lan Xichen is the closest Wei Wuxian has seen him to relaxed.

He guesses it’s time for the two of them to get to know each other properly.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #math is magic #untamed

442 notes · View notes

poorlittleyaoyao · 8 months

Note

re: the post about women disciples. there are a pretty fair number of them with the nie bros at the victory banquet (in fact the first disciple in line *right* behind them is a lady who makes a pretty priceless :| expression during the greeting of jin guangshan), so that further muddies the question of how prominent they are. is it because the nie are more egalitarian *right at the moment* as a result of having to recruit during the war? or is it something else?

This made me go back and screencap that scene because I NEED to see the Nie women, it is IMPERATIVE, and in the process found that ALL the sects have women present.

The Lan!

The already-mentioned Jiang! (whose disciples are making the exact "ew" faces the rest of us would be making in that situation)

And finally, the Nie, going :| as promised (in tandem with NHS, no less!)

I am also including this wide shot of the whole group because I noticed two wonderful things:

1.) THE NIE WOMEN ARE SO TINY. THEY ARE SHORTER THAN HUAISANG EVEN. BLESS.

2.) Those are the same uniforms worn by the disciples lined up behind NHS at Hostage Summer Camp, which means that NHS's own sect disciples didn't even bat an eye at him fainting and being carried away by guards, which in turn suggests that NHS "faints" to get out of unwanted situations so regularly that they're desensitized to it.

I wanna know what all these ladies are up to the rest of the story, because we never see them again except for a handful of women at the Second Siege of the Burial Mounds. I hope they're having a cool time.

145 notes · View notes

fixielixie · 1 year

Text

people throw around the word arrogant a lot when talking about wei wuxian post war which i think is funny because it implies that wwx had an exaggerated sense of self, like he thought himself better than his peers and the rest of the cultivation world. similar to how su she thinks lan wangji is arrogant. but like… most of wwxs arrogance from that time was a performance so no one could question why couldn’t do anything a typical spiritual cultivator could do, which was be even more noticeable for someone who had been as powerful as wwx. ALSO wwx really was that powerful, he wasn’t exaggerating his own talents or abilities, he could back them up (ie phoenix mountain and the blindfolded archery) wwx is incredibly confident in himself and knows exactly what he’s capable of.

i see people using the scene where wwx interrupts othe jin sect banquet while looking for the wen remnants as an example of his “arrogance” a lot when… that’s a poor way of reading this scene.

wwx first asks jin zixun to talk alone and when he makes it very clear he’s not even gonna humour wwx, wwx starts to get angry. jin guangshan adds fuel to the fire when he realised that jzx is making a fool out of himself and wwx is perfectly respectable when talking to him, even letting him know that he owes those wens a life debt, hence why he wants to help them. jgs continues to insist that wwx join the banquet and put aside the matter. when wwx declines and once again asks for him to resolve the issue jgs instead tries to blackmail wwx into giving up by mentioning the yin tiger tally and wwx finally runs out of patience.

and even after All of that wwx doesn’t truly snap until he points out the hypocrisy of the cultivation sects because they have allowed renegade clans from qishan who surrendered during the war to attend the banquet they’re all at while also preaching that anyone with the surname wen is guilty. it’s only then that he begins to threaten them and it’s clear he only does it bc he realises that debating will get him no where, that they’re shameless in their preconceived ideas of righteousness and wwx can’t afford to waste time fighting with them on logistics.

i just think labelling this scene as “wwx being an arrogant asshole who thinks he can do whatever he wants” is literally the Opposite of how you’re supposed to read it. like mdzs is a critique on mob mentality and people really think siding with the Mob during scenes like this is the correct interpretation

#sorry i read a meta #and it made me have Thoughts #mdzs #wei wuxian #just wild that i saw someone actually say that #wwx was never truly arrogant #he never say himself as better #or above anyone #he was aware of his abilities #and what he was capable of achieving

559 notes · View notes

fincalinde · 5 months

Note

you’ve mentioned a few times in your meta that you view nmj as being hypocritical, and i’m inclined to agree with you! would you share some specific quotes from the text that you feel especially support this reading of his character? 👀

It is one of my favourite words to apply to him, isn’t it! I think that’s because a) it’s true, and b) NMJ’s reputation for righteousness (and his belief in his own righteousness) grant an in-universe illusion of consistency that often bleeds through to external readings of him. So I press the point, because it’s fundamental to his character and I usually see it elided or reduced to all-bark-and-no-bite-grumpy-bear-with-a-heart-of-gold fanon NMJ.

And oh yes, there’s an absolute wealth of quotes supporting this. As always, I use the EXR fan translation because I’m old school.

Christ, this got long. Click for more.

It’s all relative, man

First we need to establish what NMJ’s principles supposedly are.

[Nie Huaisang’s] brother, Nie Mingjue, was extremely resolute when carrying out orders, quite renowned in the cultivation world. […] Nie Mingjue had always taught his younger brother with extreme harshness, particularly caring for his studies. (Chapter 13)

[…] he took over the Nie Sect before he even reached twenty, doing everything in a direct, forceful fashion. (Chapter 21)

When he lived, Nie Mingjue was often exasperated by the fact that his brother didn’t meet expectations, so he disciplined him strictly. (Chapter 21)

In spite of Nie Mingjue being a junior to Jin Guangshan, he conducted himself in a strict manner and refused to tolerate Xue Yang no matter what. (Chapter 30)

Without any hesitation, Nie Mingjue scolded, “Drinking the water he brought you while speaking such spiteful words! Did you join my forces not to kill the Wen-dogs but to make idle talk?!” (Chapter 48)

“A proper man should carry himself with proud righteousness. There’s no need to care for the talk of those idlers.” (Chapter 48)

As we can see, NMJ is all about righteousness, but we don’t get too many details confirming what that righteousness entails. We’re expected to make assumptions based on context: that his values are in line with the ideal values of his society, and that he’s living his life according to those principles (and enforcing said principles on others).

This is worth keeping in mind. We know NMJ is ‘righteous’. We know, in a general sense, what societal standards for morality are in this setting and we see the tension between society’s theoretical standards, its actual standards, and the moral frameworks of characters such as WWX and LXC. And there’s tension between those standards and NMJ’s moral framework, too. But though WWX attempts (and fails) to opt out and LXC attempts (and fails) to find a better way through open conversation and consideration of context, their failures are not due to hypocrisy but instead larger forces at play. In other words, they go up against society and society wins.

NMJ has a problem with society too, but for him the problem is not with its rules and assumptions—it’s with the individuals who make it up. He has no problem with the system. To NMJ, the system is a good thing. If only the people in it would rigidly conform to the rules, everything would be fine. And an outlook like that can only ever lead to hypocrisy, not just because human beings and their actions don’t fit into rigid categories, but because by not attempting to navigate the system (LXC, JGY, JC) or even attempting to opt out (WWX, LWJ, XY), NMJ positions himself above society, as a moral arbiter.

This is why he feels entitled to upbraid JGS, who is a generation above him. It’s why he feels entitled to harass and attempt to murder JGY for not being loyal to NMJ over and above his filial duty to his father. These actions are after he’s reached the point of no return with the sabre spirit, yes, but they didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s just the nadir of a path he’s been on presumably his entire life.

All the information is on the task

NMJ is very good at bending his supposedly rigid principles when it’s convenient for him, while not offering any grace or understanding to others who do the same. And ‘others’, let’s be real, usually equates to JGY. The horror vortex of NMJ’s obsession with controlling JGY really cannot be escaped.

Let’s start with the biggie. JGY is naturally the one who calls NMJ out, because he’s the only one who can see the emperor has no clothes, and by clothes I mean leg to stand on.

“But, Brother, I have always wanted to ask you something—the lives under your hands are in any regard more than those under mine, so why is it that I only killed a few cultivators out of desperation and you keep on bringing it up, even until now?” (Chapter 48)

“Are you saying that all of the people you killed deserved their deaths? […] Then, may I ask, just how do you decide if someone deserves death? Are your standards absolutely correct? If I kill one but save hundreds, would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death? To do great things, sacrifices must happen.” (Chapter 48)

Chifeng-zun, my man, he has nailed you. The point is not to start drawing equivalences in quite the way JGY is doing—I would certainly argue that if you’re killing undeserving people for the greater good you’d better have one hell of a greater good to be aiming for, even in the crapsack world of MDZS. JGY’s argument is partly a numbers game, but I want to set that aside, because it’s a distraction from his core point, to which numbers are irrelevant: can NMJ truly justify every single murder he has ever committed? Because if he can’t, he’s condemned by his own supposed standards. Note JGY’s use of the word ‘absolute’. NMJ is a moral absolutist! Is he absolutely sure? And if he is sure, does it matter that he’s sure? Why is his certainty more important than anyone else’s?

NMJ never once grapples with these questions. If he did, he might be able to pull the teeth of his own hypocrisy by acknowledging it and engaging with it. But of course he’s not capable of that, certainly not by the time of this scene.

And speaking of NMJ’s hypocrisy re: who does and doesn’t deserve to die…

“Very well! I’ll kill myself after I kill you!” (Chapter 49)

But Roquen, you cry! NMJ says such an utterly mad thing because he’s battered and beaten and not thinking clearly, not to mention past the point of no return with the sabre spirit as he’s been cultivating with resentful energy intensely throughout the war! That’s why he walks it back after LXC intervenes!

To which I say: it is almost as though context matters!

And yes, I’m aware of the context. I’m aware that just before this bit of dialogue the narrative claims JGY pointing out ‘if I hadn’t killed them you’d be dead’ is a subtle way of saying ‘you can’t kill me because you owe me your life’ as though that’s purely manipulative rather than being, you know, true. ‘Even if you refuse to accept I acted for the best, please don’t kill me and I’m going to subtly remind you that you owe me to maximise my chances of getting you to not kill me (after I just risked my life to save yours when it would have been 100x better for me personally if you died)’ is hardly an outrageous position.

It’s interesting, though, isn’t it, that NMJ never again mentions taking his own life as a matter of principle, despite the fact that he subsequently attempts to murder JGY again for the apparently unforgivable crime of … not being able to overrule his abusive father about XY, and then having the temerity to complain to LXC about NMJ’s attempt to murder him.

Obviously the Jin are a huge threat after the war, but these are all pretty feeble reasons for piling on JGY. Sure, maybe JGY would also have tried to protect XY if JGS weren’t around, but the fact is that JGS is around and he’s calling the shots. Besides, once JGS is out of the picture JGY has no issue disposing of XY (with Dr Evil levels of ineptness, apparently), so that’s a fairly decent indicator he’s not ride or die. As for the fact that JGY is making nice to NMJ’s face but complaining behind his back, well. Regardless of any genuine desire to vent to his only friend, I have no doubt he was indeed trying to drive a wedge between NMJ and LXC as a strategic move. But is it wrong of him to do so, considering NMJ is a genuine and present threat to his life and LXC is just not getting it? And does any of the above, including his struggle to maintain his position and all the other work he does for his father mean he deserves death—immediate, extrajudicial and violent death?

Let me put it this way. NMJ is making JGY responsible for his father’s actions and his father’s orders—the question of whether JGY is on board with his father’s instructions is academic, because he has no choice in the matter. JGY cannot opt out of his situation. The only opt out is death, and that is not a meaningful choice because no one else is getting vilified for having the audacity to fight for their place in their world rather than lie down and die. And even if JGY really were a cackling supervillain 100% on board with his father’s diabolical plans, NMJ’s focus on him to the exclusion of JGS is driven by emotion and not by a rational evaluation of the morality and logistics of the situation.

And when he’s insisting that JGY deserves death (and trying to mete it out to him) NMJ never again considers for a moment whether, if JGY really deserves to die, then maybe he does too.

As a third example, to make it a hat trick, we have this:

However, Jin Guangyao wasn’t his subordinate anymore. Only after they became sworn brothers would he have the status and the position to urge Jin Guangyao, like how he disciplined his younger brother, Nie Huaisang. (Chapter 49)

“Brother, it really was my father’s orders. I couldn’t refuse. Now. if you want me to take care of Xue Yang, what would I say to him?” (Chapter 49)

NMJ is perfectly aware that according to the rules of their society and the moral framework he himself subscribes to, JGY’s highest authority is his father. But NMJ can’t accept that. He thinks he should be the ultimate authority over JGY, and though he couches it in moral terms about wanting JGY to follow the correct path, what he really means is what he himself considers to be the correct path. As always, he doesn’t listen to JGY’s perfectly valid points about how it’s not possible for him to do the ‘right’ thing as he just doesn’t have that kind of authority and will only end up making his own life worse. I don’t have a quote demonstrating this, but considering everything we know about NMJ, I think we can infer he would not take kindly to JGY ordering NHS to do something futile and self-destructive in the name of the correct path, purely on the grounds that JGY is now his elder brother.

I’ll acknowledge again that JGY is absolutely an accomplice in his father’s schemes, and the originator of a fair few of them since he’s politically gifted. But it’s just not possible to untangle JGY’s complicity from his need (and his right!) to survive. NMJ is correct to be concerned about JGY as a risk, because he’s a huge asset to JGS. But once again, making JGY a target is not the moral or even the sensible thing to do. We know JGY enjoys aspects of what his father asks him to do. We also know that once his father is out of the picture he gets rid of XY, purges the Jin of corruption and pushes through the watchtower project. When he has agency as a clan leader he doesn’t follow his father’s political agenda to the letter, to say the least! So there is certainly a large dollop of truth in his claims that he has no choice and he’s unhappy and vulnerable.

And then a bonus, something not linked to JGY to demonstrate that NMJ’s hypocrisy extends beyond his personal vendetta.

Nie Mingjue spoke coldly. “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.” (Chapter 73)

Charming. Funny how NMJ says this after spending the war fighting on the same side as the guy who invented demonic cultivation and controls an army of desecrated corpses, violating every possible social and cultural principle they have. But the Sunshot Campaign would have failed without WWX’s contributions, so I suppose NMJ thought that compromise was acceptable. It’s all right for him to stay silent and not oppose WWX, since WWX has been useful to his own agenda. What’s not acceptable is staying silent when the consequence is your own violent death and literally no good whatsoever being achieved thereby.

Aside from being a hypocrite, NMJ is also pathologically incapable of self-reflection.

Finish him!

At the end of the day, NMJ’s principles are inherently contradictory because he’s living in morally relative world where the narrative expects us to take context into account and root for a protagonist who brutally tortures his enemies to death and a romantic lead who find+replaces his ethical framework with ‘Wei Ying’.

It is simply not possible for NMJ to be both righteous and rigid, so when he chooses to be rigid he foregoes being righteous. Even in his moments of flexibility, he continues to apply harsh standards to others that he refuses to apply to himself. That’s what makes him a hypocrite. He isn’t a bastion of absolute morality in a sea of corruption. He’s in denial about the nuanced reality he’s living in, and placing himself on high as a moral authority with no actual mandate. Hypocrisy inevitably results, and the consequences are hugely damaging to everyone around him.

#ask #thatswhatsushesaid #roquen meta #like i said he is FASCINATING #but in a horrifying kind of way #i should also sling in the tags a clarification #that i literally do not care that wwx has an army of desecrated corpses #i'm just pointing out that like you know #it's relevant #if i applied my actual real life moral standards to this text #i wouldn't be able to engage with it all #bc everyone is a walking war crime

111 notes · View notes