#maybe soon i will be able to actually enjoy it and engage again
Text
...
#i need to drown my phone in a lake#and maybe also ******#i'm too attached to this stupid hellsite even if lately it isn't really fun#i see too many posts that feel like a punch in the gut#and apart from a handful of people (who i appreciate a lot don't get me wrong) i don't really. interact with anyone?#so i shouldn't want to come back but. i still do#like i've barely posted anything this week but not because i'm not here it's because i just don't feel like it#like. i see posts that i like but they're piling up in my likes and i don't feel like rbing them#i just don't feel like doing anything#so yeah i should delete the app but. let's face it i probably won't#but i should#and drowning my phone would be very helpful cause it would leave me no choice but to stay off tumblr#which would reduce my daily crying by at least 10%#also not having many people to interact with here is definitely my fault like i know people are nice and i can reach out and make friends#but also i. don't think more internet friendships are what i need right now#again. i love and appreciate the ones i have and i wouldn't change them for the world but. yeah#anyway this is pointless cause i'm still gonna be here tomorrow#maybe soon i will be able to actually enjoy it and engage again#monse talks
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi!! Could you do a fic where Jeonghan is being the menace that he is, but his partner is the only one who can quell him with one look pls? Like he is just super soft w her and always listens cos he’s a simp?
content: simp!jeonghan, established relationship, afab reader, slightly suggestive, etc.
wc: 1156
a/n: this was based on that one scene from nana tour in which jeonghan basically waterboarded mingyu for absolutely no reason (ik he was on a mission but he drenched him ?!\>\£). hope u enjoy <3
masterlist
jeonghan was always known to be a bit of a menace by all his friends.
well, maybe even more than just his friends. after all, there was a reason why he was often called the loki of seventeen by many of his fans.
he was simply a bit unconventional in the ways in which he found entertainment, such as the time in which he berated dokyeom into searching for bugs for them to eat on the streets. he simply had a tendency for bugging his members (out of love, of course), becoming an extra obstacle in their lives just for the fun of it.
now, jeonghan also had a heart of gold and far too much love for his brothers to ever actually cause any harm to them. however, after over a decade of knowing his brothers, he had somehow conditioned them to accept his odd behaviors and simply go along with his shenanigans whenever he felt like acting up.
you, as well as his members, always found great entertainment in his weird behaviors. i mean, it takes a great man to be able to cheat his way through every single game without consequence.
despite finding humor in his ways, you would sometimes have a tendency to put a halt to it. a simple whine of 'hannie!' would have him stopping in his tracks and murmuring against your ear as he whined back but relented at you. what you didn't know, however, was that you were the only person who held this power over jeonghan (even his sister would occasionally fall victim to his menacing ways).
today was one of the many instances in which jeonghan grew bored while at practice, deiciding to wreck havoc just for the hell of it. it was easy for him to spot a victim, – it was usually mingyu – which then lead him to approach him with the illest of intentions. there was never much thinking that went into teasing his members. it was just second nature to him by now. so when he eyed the water bottle in mingyu's hand, even the other members who were standing nearby could see what jeonghan's next move would be.
he was patient with it; engaging in conversation as he usually would as to not draw suspicion. jeonghan realized in that moment that maybe his instincive need to bug mingyu for no reason might be something to look into, but that would come some other day. for now, he wanted a quick laugh.
jeonghan saw his opening the moment mingyu uncapped his bottle and brought it to his lips, taking advantage of his calculated proximity to tilt the end of the bottle in order to drench mingyu's face, causing the man to almost choke on the water he'd been drinking.
as expected, this began a mini war between the two boys, as five minutes later they were both attacking each other with any and every water bottle they could find in their vicinity, even going as far as causing collateral damage to a few of the other members. what jeonghan hadnt planned, however, was a sudden visit from you, who had walked in just as jeonghan squirted yet another water bottle directly at mingyu's face.
"jeonghan!", you scolded as soon as you were in earshot, "leave him alone, you got him all drenched!", you were now standing next to the group, frown on your face as you took in the scene.
"baby? what are you doing here? did you–"
"don't 'baby' me. why are you bugging mingyu again? look at him! he's completely wet."
"i got water in my eye!," whined the tall man, taking advantage of your defense for him.
by now, a few of the members nearby were snickering at the swift turn of events, entertained by not just the water fight but the way in which you immediately sided with mingyu rather than your boyfriend.
"i'm wet too! how do you know he didn't start it?", tried jeonghan, knowing full well that the idea was unconvincing.
"hannie, don't lie to me."
"okay, fine. i got bored, okay? it's just water, baby. it's fine. right, mingyu?"
"dude, you fucked up my hair," mingyu didnt seem truly offended, but more so wanting to feed the flames now that he had an opportunity. jeonghan could tell by the slight smirk on his face.
the frown remained on your face, continuing to come in mingyu's defense for some reason unknown to jeonghan.
"jeonghan, apologize to him."
"what?", his wide and incredulous eyes turned to look at you, ignoring the snort he was pretty sure seungkwan had just let out.
"you heard me."
"but–"
"hannie!"
"f– fine," like a petulant child, jeonghan turned to mingyu and gave him a forced smile, "i'm sorry for getting you wet, gyu."
"than–"
"thank you", you interrupted the man.
jeonghan couldnt help but feel scolded by you. it was rare that you actually ever went against his shenanigans, but he did know he could sometimes go a little extra hard on mingyu due to mingyu's disposition to put up with jeonghan with no complaint (usually even fighting back). he was a bit embarrassed by the way in which you sided with him and even berated him in front of his members, but he also knew he could never say no to you, so apologizing just seemed logical to him.
after a few moments of him whining at his members to mind their business and go get their own girlfriends, he dragged you away to a less polluted corner of the practice room to get some one-on-one with you.
"babyyyy," he immediately pouted at you, proceeding to attaching to you like a bear, burying his head into your neck.
"hannie, you're all wet!", you complained despite making no move to push him away, even wrapping your arm around him and running a hand through his damp hair.
"why'd you have to do that? the boys are supposed to think you're obsessed with me," he frowned against your neck.
despite the whine behind his words, you could feel the vibration of his giggles against you and the smile pressed against your neck. as per usual, he was just whining because he could; something which you always found an endearing result to any rare instance in which you'd scold him.
"they're all gonna think im a simp now," he continued.
you giggled at that, causing him to sway you back and forth as he buried himself even deeper against you.
"are you not?", you inquired.
"i am, but they dont need to know that!"
"you're so annoying ..."
"yeah, but you find it fun, don't you?"
"im not at liberty of releasing that information."
he laughed against your neck, reaffirming to himself how much he liked the back and forth between the two of you, even if it meant relenting to you every single time, earning himself the title of simp among his members.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen#svt#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan fanfic#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan scenarios#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan fluff
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
...marry me?
pairing: Harry Styles x polish!reader
summary: Harry's drunk and YN is the angel that he dreamt of.
word count: 1,2k
masterlist
“Are you gonna be able to take him back home?” Gemma asked YN, concerned with Harry’s current… state.
“I think I’ll be good.” She smiled at her soon to be sister-in-law. “If not, I’ll call my cousin. He said he wanted to observe the stars tonight, so he won’t be asleep.”
“Okay. Take care and be careful. Bye, bye!” Gemma bidded YN goodbye with two kisses on both of her cheeks and, together with her long-term boyfriend, moved towards the Taxi.
It was well past 2 a.m. and the party was coming to an end. The younger part of the people staying with Harry and YN at their house, decided to go out and enjoy themselves in the city. Starting with late dinner at the coaster restaurant they moved to the heart of the city - to seek pubs with live music. Arriving at one, Harry caused quite the appeal - 'English Harry is back!’ - was shouted from behind the bar. A lovely older man - Sergio, the owner of the pub - greeted them warmly and announced that all drinks were on the house.
Tonight the band was playing blues and Harry was in love. With five drinks in his system (plus two glasses of wine he drank during dinner) Harry was drunk. And drunk Harry meant even more social, friendly and extroverted Harry.
With a glass in his hand, and a kiss lingering on his lips from his fiancee he moved to the band, promising to ‘just congratulate them’. Soon enough Harry forgot his drink on the nearby table and sat behind the piano, starting to improvise with the band. They found rhythm immediately and played for fifteen minutes non stop.
“I’ll order one more,” Harry screamed on his way from the piano to the bar, motioning to the now empty glass.
After that he got lost around people that seemed to be congratulating him on the performance. It all was a sight to see. A sight that YN wanted to look at for the rest of her life - content Harry.
When Gemma left the pub, YN made her way towards the bar, where Harry was sitting alone by the almost empty glass. Approaching him, she slowly placed her hand on his shoulder, causing his head to shoot up and confusingly look around. When finally found, Harry's eyes lit up. He straightened his back and dusted his linen shorts, cleaning his throat.
“Ciao,” he greeted her in italian, flirtatious smirk on his face. His eyes were bloodshot, pupils dilated, cheeks red and forehead with droplets of sweat. A sight of drunk Harry Styles. A state of ‘if he drank one more drink, he would be on the floor’.
“Ciao, caro.”
“Caro? Are you an angel? Wait! Don’t answer. You are. Renaissance angel, not biblical. Those were - pfff - freaky,” the last word he whispered, scrunching his eyebrows in disgust. “But you - oh lord - you are the most exquisite angel I’ve ever met.”
YN wanted to laugh, but bottled it up, putting her lips in a thin line - the corners daring to move up. Drunk Harry was the one to later tell tales to your relatives and friends - always unpredictable. She loved to engage with the world he seemed to be in those times.
“Come closer,” he once again whispered, motioning with a finger for her to bring nearer. “I actually met an angel once.”
“Did you?” She whispered just like him.
“I did! She - she looked just like you.” Harry came to the conclusion after looking at YN for a few seconds. “Maybe I’ve dreamt it? Did you come to my dreams?”
Harry then fell back into his chair, leaning back on it. The rest of his drink was now like waves hitting against the glasses’ edges. The look on his face told YN one thing - he was deep in his thoughts.
“You must have. There is no other way. I wouldn’t know your face, if you didn’t. Couldn’t forget your face. No, no I couldn’t. Too glorious to forget, too out of this world.” He was looking straight ahead, at the line of bottles behind the bar, but his eyes searched for the memories of that angel.
“Will you let the angel take you home?”
Harry shook his head, “no, no. I need to do something first. I need - I need to run!”
Before YN could say anything, Harry left the wad of money and ran out of the bar. She, as quickly as she could after all those drinks, ran after him.
“Harry! Harry!”
When she ran out to the street, she looked around, trying to figure out which turn she should take. On the right was him, jumping up and down with his hand held high, trying to pluck the flowers of the flowerpot outside somebody’s window. When he had five in his hand, some with roots and some with broken leaves, he jumped for the sixth. He didn’t, though, see that those broken leaves fell to the ground, making it much more slippery. The thing he felt was that his bottom hit the ground hard.
“Fuck!” He cursed, starting to move around, trying to get up.
“Harry, what in the world are you doing?”
Harry’s eyes shot up, “angel. Angel you - you were just in the pub!”
“I ran after you.”
“You, you ran after me?”
Harry accepted the hand YN was offering and leaning on it he sat on his heels. YN in the same position right in front of him.
“Of course I did, my love.” She caressed his cheeks with a smile. “I’ll always run after you.”
With hope in his eyes, sniffing, he placed a hand with the flowers in front of him. The colourful petals, a little bit beaten by the fall, were leaning to the sides.
“Angel,” he started slowly. “Marry me?”
YN’s eyes watered. She held up her right hand, showing the ring she received almost a year ago.
“No, no, no. You - you cannot,” Harry started rambling, shaking his head. “It’s - it can’t be. No, no, no.”
“Harry, Harry. It’s okay.”
“No, no, it’s not. Marry me? Please. Please, I’ll look after you. I’ll cherish you. I’ll love you.”
“Harry,” she tried one more time. “I dreamt of you too.”
He calmed instantly and gazed into her eyes.
“I dreamt of you and you, you asked me then. You gave me this ring. Look -” she took it off and placed it in his palm - “it has your initials inside, see?”
Harry inspected the ring carefully for a moment, squeezing his eyes trying to see better in a night’s lights. He caressed the engraved letters, a tiny smile showing on his gorgeous face.
“You said yes?”
“I did.”
“Angel will marry me?”
“Yes. Angel will be the happiest creature on earth to marry you.”
Harry not losing any more seconds closed the gap between their lips and connected them in a sweet but deep kiss. Simultaneously, he placed the ring back on YN’s finger, moving then his hands to the sides of her head. He ended the kiss with a loud - muah - and stared at her.
“You know that the angels don’t come to earth?”
“But I’ll be the happiest one regardless of that.”
#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#slavic!reader#polish!reader
505 notes
·
View notes
Text
How much can you handle, wife of the anemo archon?~
(Please don't repost, use, take my fanfic or my edited picture anywhere!! )
~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~
Venti x f. reader
dom! Venti x sub! f. reader
(reader isn't traveller!! )
+18 (minors DNI!!)
Warnings:
smut, this is pure PORN/FILTH, cursing, shapeshifting, sizekink, public sex, shower sex, object fucking? (showerhead), creampie, soft breeding kink?, overstimulation, anal sex, double penetration, multiple orgasm, squirting, fingering, oral female, handjob, hickeys, vision abuse, god-complex, power abuse, stomatch bugle, nipple play,spanking, riding, full nelson, dirty talk, enganged, possesive venti, crying reader (from pleasure), dom! venti, (let me know if I forgot something!~ )
About:
After just geting freshly engaged with your boyfriend venti, you asked him to finally not hold back anymore. Knowing him he always told you how dangerous the love of an archon could be! Yet you wanted to see and know all of him! Will venti give in? Will you be able to handle it? Will you still love him afterwards? What could he be hiding from you?
~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~
(I don't know what this is! I got very carried away! I'll go to hell for this!!
Well.. please enjoy~ )
~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~
"I'll be by your side now and forever and ever~", venti said while kissing you. The kiss had so much love and meaning to it. Your heart was beating so fast, so many emotions you were feeling while the only thought in you mind was, 'VENTI'. The name of the of the one you loved. The one who just asked you to marry him. Still in soft shock but so incredible happy you felt your eyes tear up a bit.
Venti pulled away and looked at you, a gently smile covering his lips. Caressing your cheek, gently brushing your tears away with his thumb. Looking into his eyes you could tell that he felt the same. Was that what soulmates were? Feeling the same way, thinking quiet a like, sharing many things with each other? If that was the case you would be happy to have venti as your soulmate. But now he would be even more than that.. your husband. Your future husband. That sounded very lovely to say.
"Venven, can I try calling you something else? I'm curious how it will sound?", you ask without a second though, a soft blush forming on your cheeks. Venti's eyes widened a bit at the request but brushes with his hand through your hair, "Everything you call me, will just make me fall for you even more my lovely windblume. So go ahead, try it~", he said with a smile on his face. Now a bit curious himself venti bit his lip. Hopefully it wasn't his real name. Not that he didn't like it but.. it always was so hard to hold himself back when you did. And right now the place you were in wasn't very good to lose control. The bard's self control was usually pretty strong but since days, no weeks, no actually since a month or was it even before?? Well it doesn't matter since when but his selfcontrol was on edge since the thought of making you completly his, for all of time crossed his mind. So now that you were finally his there was only one thing to do.. But not now! Now isn't the time! That was what venti tried to tell himself.
"Are you listening my husband??", you asked confused, waving your hand infront of the bard's face. Was it to forward? Maybe it was to soon to call him that. Oh boy.. Now venti didn't respond for minutes.
"Y-Yes!! Wait.. What did you just call me??", venti asked with a stutter in his voice. "Husband?", you said, looking away, now embarrassed by yourself. Was that to childish??
But before you could give it anymore thought you felt two arms hugging you, cuddling you close to his chest. Slowly realising what just happened you placed both your hands on his back, gently caressing over it. "Ven-", but before you could say anything the god started talking, "I'm sorry windblume.. My heart was just about to burst. I feel so full. Full of your love. So don't say it again. Please? It's to dangerous.. I might lose control~", venti whispered the end next to your ear. A quiet gasp left your lips at his words. Curious what his expression was you wanted to lean back to look at him but his arms held you close to his chest, not leting you move.
"Dont!.. Don't look at me right now.. You might not realise it, but you're in a dangerous situation right now! I don't want to rush things between us. So please..", the god said with a serious voice. What a rare sight..
But what the god didn't know was that his beloved soon-to-be-wife wanted exactly that! You wanted to see all of him. You were long time curious about his sides he had yet to show. Always warning you about it made it only the more tempting for you. Soo maybe you should just not listen to him? Just this once? But first you would try talking to him about it~
"Venti.. you said earlier that we would be forever together right? So I want to see all of you. I want to know everything about you! I'm ready! I'll love you no matter what you will show me! As I accepted your proprosal I was clear in mind and I fully thought this situation through. So please will you trust me?", you asked him while your hands caressed over his back gently. Of course if he said no you would still accept his opinion and quietly wait for him until he was ready. After all you loved him with all your heart, soul and body.
Uff, you should have seen his expression. Mouth agape, a blush covering his whole face, eyes widened. This was such an adorable sight for the usual so cheerfull, teasing bard. After a while venti calmed himself down and softly leaned away, his hands caressing down to your hands, just to hold them in his. Intertwining your fingers with his. Looking at you, with a rater serious but flushed face, "I understand your desire windblume. And I'm very happy you feel that way. But.. I don't want to push you away.. What if it's to much for you?", a sigh left venti's lips.
Without thinking you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Holding his hands to your chest. Kissing him deeply, with so much love you could put into it. After a while you leaned back, panting slightly, "Nothing you say or you do could be 'to much' for me. With each passing day, passing moment I want more of you. I love every part of you. No matter what it is I will accept it and love you with everything I can offer. There is nothing you can do to push me away because I love you way to much to ever back out. I can't live without you by my side venven! Please.. trust me? Please believe in me? I can handle whatever you will show me, my husband!", you responded with a gently whisper against his lips. Hoping he would get the message.
As you looked into venti's eyes you could see a sudden change in them. Did they get darker? No.. now they were glowing?? The same happened to the tips of his hair. A chuckle left the bard, a type of chuckle you didn't know could come from him.
"Oh windblume~ You don't know what you do to me... I hope you know what you just requested from me. Don't complain later okay? I tried to warn you~ But of course my dearest warrior wouldn't be afraid of such a minor thing. If you just knew love...", venti smirked at you, another deeper chuckle leaving his throat.
"But let's not forget where we are. This is a public location. Anyone could just walk by. Not that I would mind~ With you I would do it everywhere~", he looked away, smirking, "since it's your first time seeing me like this I rather would prefer it to be in private. So let's go to your teapot okay?", with that the god looked at you. You on the other hand were still trying to puzzle together what just happened. Where did this person come from and what happened to the sweet bard you knew?? Not that you were complaining, to be completly honest you might were enjoying this a bit to much. Gosh, venti was so hot like this!
"Y-Yes! We should go then!", you said, voice probably giving you away. Pulling out your teapot, just wanting to enter it you felt one arm under your knees. Turning around to ask what's going on but you were cut off. Venti picked you up in his arms, carring you bride-style. A smile appearing on his face, "I told you I'll be good to you. So let me make this day unforgattble for you okay? Let me spoil my soon-to-be-wife today?", he said while entering the teapot.
"Lucky we finally have a room together. Remember when we used to sleep in different rooms? Back then our realtionship was still so innocenct~", the god laughed at the idea while carring you inside the house. "And now it's not?? Besides this is 'our' teapot now, did you forget venven?", you giggled while holding on to him. Having to agree on the 'innocent' part tho. "Of course not?! Do I have to remind you how often we couldn't let our hands from each other mhh?", a sly smirk overcome venti's face as he let you down on the bed. Another giggle escaped you, "But all couples do that? So who is to say we aren't innocent anymore?", you looked up at him, raising one eyebrow. A laugh escaped venti's s body, sometimes you were just to adorable. Maybe the innocent part was you, just you. That he couldn't deny.
"Oh so let's say our realtionship is still "innocent"~ What about the time I fingered you in the library, the other time you seduced me as a maid, the second day in the hot spring as we were in inazuma and of course my favorite hehe.. the one time you were drunk and you told me aaaall about your naughty desires for me windblume~", he ended with a teasing smirk, starting to slowly undo his hat and cape.
A huge red blush covered your entire face, you bit your lips. Fuck! He was right.. this was cleary nowhere near innocent. But you couldn't say that out loud! The brat in you was acting up and you couldn't let him win! "That.. That was all just for starters! No one knows about this! So everyone still thinks we are innocent right??", you smiled with a concerned look in your eyes.
"Come one now! Stop lying to yourself windblume~ Even dvalien complained about how I always smell like you, kaeya knew what he was doing giving me that maid-dress, babara commented on the huge amount of hickeys you left on me on that one day and I'm pretty sure lisa knows about me fingering and making out with you in the libary...but ehh yeah maybe that is still to innocent love~", a chuckle left the bard. Droping down his cape, taking of his shoes before sitting down on the bed next to you.
You also started to take off your shows, slowly taking of your clothes. Just staying in top and your shorts. "LISA WHAT NOW?? How did she find out?? Oh god..", you gasped, hitting your hand against your forhead. This couldn't be.. well.. guess you really had to say goodbye to your last piece of innocence. "Oh and I forgot.. dilluc knows about that one time I fucked you in the tavern on your birthday hehe..", venti looked away, closing his eyes as he was waiting for something.
"WHAT??", you yelled, almost jumping up from the bed, "How?? We were so quiet right?? ", you asked shocked. "Yes, right??!! Ugh.. xiao told him! Remember he walked in on us in the tavern?? Soo dilluc scolded me for dragging you into my 'crimanal-record', he likes to call it that", a growl left venti as he pouted. You just nodded and left your head hanging, "ohh.. soo xiao knows about us too.."
"Yes.. But didn't that heizou-guy ask you for a threesome?? So he knows too hehe~", venti laughed, shaking his head. You looked at venven and nodded, "You're right.. oh god how embarrassing...", you sighed and hit your hand against your forhead again.
All of sudden the god grabbed both of your hands and pinned you to the bed, leaning over you. Whispering between you, as it was a secret no one should know, "See windblume~ We aren't innocenct.. and our realtionship isn't either~ We did so much together. So are you ready to take it one step further? Earlier you begged me to show you a new side of me. So I hope you'll like what you'll see~". There it was again, the glowing in his eyes, the glowing of the tips of his hair. Now even his archon-tattoo on his chest glowed through his shirt. You shallowed and nodded, "Yes I'm ready! I want this! I want all of you~", you whispered back, smiling softly at him.
"Open my braids for me windblume? Will you?", it didn't sound like a question, more so like an order. The bard let your hands free, looking into your eyes. Quickly following his command your helped him undo his braids. Brushing your hands through his now open hair. Not shortly after venti pinned your hands back to the bed. "Now get ready. I wasn't planing on using this card tonight but you begged for it~", he said as he closed his eyes. A huge glow formed over you and all of sudden venti's hair got longer, his form got taller, his chest formed some muscles, he just seemed older? More mature? Of course venti was both of them already. But his form wasn't. And he looked stunning. Like a fairy! A beautiful fairy! Did he just shape-shift for you?? Uff.. lord have mercy.. how were you to survive he could pull such tricks??
After a few minutes venti opened his eyes again, looking down at you with a lustful stare, yet he put on the sweetest smile, "Do you like what you see my wife?~, he asked. You couldn't even bring yourself to answer, to stunned to speak by his new appearance. Even his voice sounded more mature, it did all kind of things to you. Slowly but surley you felt the wetness between your thighs.
"You look so beautiful venven! I just love you more! But how?", you smiled up at him, blush forming on your cheeks. A laugh left the bard, "God's have many abilities, this is just one of the trivial ones. Usually I prefer not to change my appearance! But for you, to suprise you and please you I did it~", venti said while leaning closer, next to your ear, "This is an older form of my appearance, I usually have. Many things have changed. And I don't mean JUST the visible things~ ehe~", another chuckle left the god over you. Chills were running all over your body by the way he whispered these words. Now curious you looked down to his boxers. And a gasp left you. He was right, the bugle looked way bigger than it had ever before.
"See windblume? That's what I meant~ You're so smart. It will fill you up so good~", venti licked over your ear, kissing down to your neck. Leaving some hickeys while gently fondling your breats through your shirt. One finger caressing around your nipples. You couldn't help but moan, pressing your legs together. Nipples hard through your shirt, rubbing against it made you squirm around a lot. But how could you help it? It felt so good!
After a while the bard pulled away from your neck, proud of his masterwork. Whole neck covered by his marks. After all you were his wife now, he was allowed to do that!
"Can I?~", venti asked while softly pulling on your shirt. Waiting for your consent first. You nodded and giggled, "Of course! You don't have to ask venven, I already asked you for it, didn't I?~", a look full of love shined in your eyes, reflecting back in his, to yours again. Venti leaned down to kiss you gently, "I know.. it's just I need to you to confirm it one more time!~".
Taking your shirt of, bra following, throwing it somewhere in the room. Shortly after venti's mouth was already around your nipple, kneading and massaging your breasts with his hands. You threw your head back in the pillow, letting out a moan. Your nipples were always to sensetive. "Archons, I love sucking on them! This is truly my favorite past-time! I could do this forever!", the god sighed in between your tits, looking up at you. His now long hair falling over his broad, strong looking shoulders. With time your panties started to feel uncomfortable, it felt so stick, you swore your juices would start running down your thighs soon...
Luckily your husband knows you well enough. Starting to take off your shorts and panties. Letting up from your nipple, switching to the other and continueing to suck. His other hand gently caressed over your thighs, then in between, up and down.
A whine left your lips, slowly becoming inpatiened, wanting to feel it where you needed it the most. Spreading your legs wide, you felt venti's hand sliding over the slit of your cunt. A moan left him as he felt how ready you were for him. Leaning away once again from your already red nipples, he smirked at you, "You're dripping for me windblume! Do you want my fingers or my tongue first? Tell me~", the god spoke while slowly kissing down, over your stomatch. Geting shy you looked away, pouting,
"Your tongue please? Eat me out venti!", you stated. Looking back at him you got confused. Why was he licking his fingers? The view tho.. It just turned you on more. "To bad that you only get my fingers for now~", the bard smirked, pushing one finger in. Just about to answer you opened your mouth, chocking and closing it again at the sudden feeling of him inside you. This brat...
"Woah.. you're so wet that I just slipped in and i'm really deep already!~ You surely can handle another of my fingers right?~", venti said, still smirking at you. Right after he pushed in another finger. A loud moan left your lips, your legs shaking. Fuck! How is he this deep inside you already? Usually it takes a while- His finger are longer!! Right! You just realised how his form-changing affected his whole body. Oh boy... his cock is about to destroy you.. not that it already did but now?!
All of sudden venti's fingers started moving, in and out. Going faster. "Do you fell this windblume? I'm right at your g-spot! I wonder how fast I can make you cum in this form~", venti whispered licking over your clit, once, twice and another time. Your head was spinning. Damn! This felt soo good you might become dumb just from this. Moaning, squiriming under him while panting his name you came quickly. That was a new record for sure. Leaning back against the pillow you tried to calm down. Yet the god had another idea, sucking on your clit while pulling on your nipples with both of his hands you arched your back from the bed and came again with a scream from your lips.
"Oh windblume~ You really seemed to like this~", venti said with a softer voice, leaning down to kiss you deeply. Not knowing what just happened you kissed back, panting in the kiss. "I didn't believe I ever could make you squirt for me! You always suprise me windblume, ehe~", the god chuckled, kissing you again, "My whole face got wet~", he still chuckled.
Embarrassed you hid your face in your hands. Oh god.. what a mess you must have made! But before you could say anything you felt how venti turned you around, on your stomatch. Gently kneading your ass between his hands, spreading your legs a bit.
"Now I will do what my wife asked from me earlier~", the bard said before leaning in, taking a lick through your still sensetive pussy. Starting to eat you out like you wished before. His tongue felt longer too. Just having it play with your clit made you want to cum. With one thrust venti pushed his tongue into your hole. You moaned, bit your lip. Once again venti moved,
IN
OUT
IN
OUT
FASTER
DEEPER
Tongue flicking against that one spot. Not even seconds later you came again. Moaning his name loudly. Falling back into the pillow, head resting on top of your arms. Venti pulled his tongue out, layed next to you, letting you rest a bit. "You taste amazing as always~ Tell me once you're ready for the next stage! But I warn you.. once we start I might lose control! I won't be gentle anymore! So if you want to back out.. please tell me now!", your husband said with a rather serious face, looking at you, licking his lips clean.
Shaking your head you turned around, sitting up on your knees. Softly kissing him while whispering, "I want this venti! I love you! You don't have to be always gentle with me. I'm not out of glass, I won't break that easy! So don't worry okay? Don't hold back!", you smiled, kissing him deeply again. The god kissed back. Taking off his boxers, making his dick slap up against his stomatch. As you leaned away you looked down and your mouth widened, so did your eyes. How is he THAT huge?? Like.. that was the double size off his normal length! Fuck! How will this fit??
One hand grabbed your wrists, the other turned you around, pushed you down into the matress on all fours. Giving your ass a good spank, "Now it's to late to back out windblume! So take it! Take all of me!", venti growled into your ear. No this wasn't venti! This was barbatos! His cock slowly pressing against your pussy. Grinding it against your clit, up and down. Enjoying how wet and sensetive he got you. His hands both on your ass while pushing the tip of his long cock inside you. A suprised gasp left you, spreading your legs wider. You felt to full, the stretch burnt a bit. Yet you only could think on how amazing it must feel to have him all inside. Venti inched himself slowly into you. Your legs were shaking, you believed you would collapse every second. It felt just so good!
"Halfway in already love~ Just a bit more! You're doing so great windblume~", venti praised you while kissing your back. Leaving another wave of hickeys. A few inches were still standing out and yet your head was spinning, "s-so full venti..", you moaned. The slightest move of any of you and you could cum again. "I- I know... j-just a few inches more o-okay?", venti whispered in your ear, trying to be patiened, to keep his selfcontrol. But with your whining and your tight hole squishing him this wasn't easy at all. Turning your head around to look at him your breats bounced and that made him snap. Fuck it! He thought.
With one hard thrust he was completly inside you. Your ass hitting the skin of his stomatch. "Ohhh~ Fuck!", the god cursed, slowly grinding into you. Just enjoying the feeling of your tightness. Another scream escaped you, feeling like you could break in half any moment. He was so deep. His cock was making you so full. You felt him in your stomatch. And it felt amazing! The grinding was to much, your mouth hanging open, silent moans escaping you. Your sweetspot was right there. Right where his cock was grinding into.
"Y-You feel so good windblume! I never was this deep inside you before. Now I can make all of you mine! Every part of you! I will fuck you now okay? I-I can't hold back-", venti growled, trying to think of the words he wanted to say. A nod from you, a moan and the god was gone. Holding on to your ass he started to thrust inside you, pace fast and hard from the beginning. Staying true to his word. It was rough and hard. Moaning, screaming, clinging onto the sheets, you couldn't do anything else. The only thing that came to your mind was, venti and his cock. All you could feel was pleasure. Balls hitting your still sensetive clit, hands grabing your ass, hard thrusts against your g-spot.
The feeling of barbatos thumb pressing against your other hole made you come back from your thoughts. What was he doing now? Before you could ask his thumb slipped gently inside your ass. Pushing it in and out, circeling his thumb around. At the beginning it felt weird, but instead of complains, moans left your lips. It was to much,"I-I'm going to cuuum v-venven", you moaned in between the loud slaps of his hips hitting your ass. Removing his thumb from your ass while leaning back a bit.
With one swift move barbatos had his hand under your stomatch, pulling you up against him. Your back meeting his chest. Slowing down his pace a bit he answered in a deep, comanding voice, "Then cum for me windblume! Cum all over my cock!". A hand moved down to your clit. Rubbing it, "Think you can squirt again for me?~", a chuckle left the god. Picking up his pace again. Hammering into you. The other hand pressed against your stomatch. Venti bit his lip as he felt himself moving inside you. That was hot. Yet he still desired for more.
"Hold on windblume, I want to test something!", venti said. Stopping his movements completly. Making you whine loudly. A glow appeared. You felt venti's cock geting smaller, his chest becoming softer. Did he return to normal? Why now? You pouted since you were about to cum. This changed as venti started to thrust into you again. Closing your eyes trying once again to focus on your orgasm. Geting close. So close. Until the god stopped again. Another glow appeared behind you.
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO D-", you turned around, snapping at him before geting cut of by your own scream. His huge length was back. You came so hard that you collapsed forward into venti's arms. Legs shaking, hole clenching. "I knew it, my size difference turns you on doesn't it? Maybe I should use all my sizes next time mhh?~", venti teased, gently laying you back down onto the bed. Resting on your stomatch. While gently thrusting into you, beeing almost there himself. "Are you okay? You came pretty hard? I'm cumming too~", a moan escaped venti. Grabbing your shoulders while pounding into you. Throwing his head back, moaning your name. His cheeks red. A second later you felt his white cum pumping into you. It was a lot. The bard collapsed onto you and kissed your back.
"Soo? How was it? You clearly enjoyed yourself haven't you?~" back was the teasing, usually silly bard. You tried to catch your breath, feeling even more full than before, "I-I loved it venven! We should d-do it again.. soon~", you giggeled with your voice sounding weak.
"Everything for my wife~", venti answered, pulling out of you. His seed sickering out of your hole, over your thighs onto the sheets. Without realsing it venti got this feeling. A feeling to stuff you up again. Not wanting to let his seed leave you. A growl left him before thrusting into you again. Pushing himself all the way back into you. Moaning loudly while pushing you down into the matress. "Aww thank y- AHHH!", you smiled but that was quickly replaced with a choke, shocked face. "V-Venti?", you asked, voice muffled during his push of your head into the matress.
"I-I'm s-sorry.. it's just.. I-I can't control myself anymore! Please let me use you windblume?", he tried to be gently but his voices sounded deep. His eyes, his hair, his tattoos glowed. You nodded, pussy clenching at his words.
A swosh was heard as venti pulled you up onto all fours. From the shadow on your bed you saw wings. Fuck that looked hot! Him fucking you from behind with his wings out. A hard, deep thrust inside of you made you throw your head back. "Tell me!.. Say which cock size of mine you like more?!", a question from your husband. No an order. This sounded like an order. Regardless you were to busy moaning, and trying to think of the right words to say. Forming word, yet alone trying to think of the letters wasn't easy.
Another hard, deep thrust. "Mhh? Won't you answer? Do I have to do everything myself?!", venti sighed with a annoyed voice.
All of sudden you felt a lot less full. Did he change form again? A slap to your ass as the thrust became faster. Another slap as venti pushed your head into matress, pillow to far away from all the movements. "Do you like this size more??", venti asked between hammering into you. Enjoying to hear you short breath, your loud high voice, the wet sounds of your pussy. Your brain wasn't working anymore, "I-I", you tried but ended up whining.
Barbatos pulled you up against his chest once again, kneading your breats. You almost bit your tongue as the cock inside you got bigger again. Walls clenching, making it so tight for him. "Or.. do you like this size more?!", barbatos asked, not changing his pace at all. Waiting for your answer. An answer he wouldn't get because you were to far gone already. Mind in the clouds. Brain fucked out. No one home anymore.
"I asked, DO YOU LIKE IT??", the god asked once again, thrusting with force further into you, staying still, just pulling your nipples. Twisting them softly. "YEEES!!! Y-Y- AHH I-", you screamed, tears forming in your eyes. Running down your cheeks, "love it!! Love you!!", you whined, bursting out more tears. Barbatos let out a chuckle and let go of your red nipples, continueing to thrust into you in a fast pace. Hugging you from behind, holding you close, "I love when you scream for me! Your screams make me so hard! My cock is throbbing so much love~", he whispered in your ear. If you could still think straight, you would probably blush so much.
You closed your eyes, just enjoyed the moment. Not expecting it, venti pulled your legs up, holding you in his arms, in a full-nelson position while continueing his fast pace. Hugging his wings around you both. "I'm gonna fill you up! I will pump my cum into you again!", the god groaned against your neck, while leaving kisses here and there. Your eyes rolled in the back of you head, as you came once again. Shaking, squirting all over his cock and the sheeds.
"Wow~ Do I really make you feel this good huh? How cute~", barbatos chuckled. Shortly after he thrustes a few more times and the last one was very deep. Letting out a groan, his seed filling you up once again.
Gently placing you back down on the bed venti kissed you, caressing through your hair. Weakly you kissed back, leaning against his chest. "Are you okay windblume? Let's rest okay?", venti asked, gently laying down with you on the bed. Caressing over your cheek. You smiled and kissed his chest softly, "I'm fine! Just need to catch my breath a bit venven~", you giggeled at his worried face. Lucky your stamina was quiet special. A normal human would probably struggle a lot here.
"Are you sure? We can stop if would like?", your husband asked, looking at you. "Stop? Now? When you still hard?", you giggled, grabbing his cock into your hand and jerking him a bit. A cute whine left venti's lips, "D-Don't worry about that windblume. Let us clean you up first okay?", he said, yet not pushing your hand away.
Your hand felt so good. Venti couldn't get enough of it. Your mouth would feel even better. There were so many things he still wanted to do to you, things he wanted to ask you, things he wanted to try with you. Sometimes he got embarrassed, thinking what a pervert he must be. But it was you.. venti couldn't help himself.
Still moving your hand, geting a bit faster with it you smirked at him. Starting to play with just the tip you giggeld as he thrusted his hips upwards, in your hand. "S-stop laughing it's not funny!", the bard pouted. Clearly enjoying this. "You're soo adorable venven~", you giggled, kissing his neck while moving your hand faster over the tip. Leaving hickeys like he did to you earlier.
"I want too take you again..", venti whispered, looking away, blush forming on his cheeks.
"Yeah? How do you want me barbatos?", you smirked. Venti snapped his head to you. You did not just! How dare you? You brat! Venti's eyes changed. His whole aura switched. There it is.. What you wanted to see. The side to barbatos that you hadn't met yet. This intimidating side. A dangerous side for sure. "Would you repeat that for me my favorite mortal?", barbatos asked, taking your hand off his cock. You gulped, that really was a intimidating side. The words he spoke alone had so much power to it. The pressure of his eyes on you was almost scary. Yet you leaned forward gently kiss him, "I asked, how do you want to take me lord barbatos?~", you looked him into his eyes, glowing with devinity.
A groan was the only thing heard. "Sit on my lap with your back towards me!", he ordered, pulling you on his lap. Sitting against the headboard of the bed, he let you get into position. "Go ahead! Sit down for your lord!", barbatos said, pointing towards his lap. A blush covered your face as you realised what he meant. Still you carefully sat down, pushing his cock back into your cunt. This angle was almost worse than the nelson one. It all felt tingly and sensetive inside. "Good job! You're taking your lord so well! Now I'll start moving, try not to lose balance or I've to punish you mortal!", the god groaned why already grinding upwards.
It went really well. Keeping your balance wasn't very hard. And now you once again, not knowing for how many times, you were about to come again. That was until barbatos decided to use a little trick of his. Caressing with his hand over your lower stomatch, right where the tip of his cock met your cervix. The anemo symbol appeared on your skin and suddenly you let out a scream, pressing your thighs together, holding on to venti's knees. "W-What is-", you wanted to ask but got cut off during his hand sliding across your nipples. Feeling the same thing you almost collapsed on the matress. Almost losing your balance. It was weird. It felt ticklish, yet like air hitting your sensetive parts over and over again. The pressure was to much! Did he use his powers?
"I gave you a little gift! My favorite mortal deserves just the best after all. My anemo energy is flowing through your body now! It's also another way of marking you as mine~", barbatos smirked, thrusting fast in you. One thrust was so hard that you fell forward, lucky venti's arms catched you. "Ahh... and I was just praising you! Well, that calls for a punishment right?~", this teasing tone of his. You didn't like it. "What are you up to?", you asked, wanting to look at him. Yet his hand grabbed your chin to hold you still, "Look forward!". And so you did like barbatos told you.
A swosh was heard and all off sudden you felt cold, air was hitting your nipples. Infront of you, you saw entire mondstadt at night. Under you, the ground which lead to kathedral of mondstadt.
"How?? Why??", you paniced, face red as it could be. Venti didn't stop at all, kneeling behind you, thrusting his huge cock into you. Amemo energy still flowing in you. "Why? As a punishment of course. Show how sorry you are to the entire mondstadt for disobeying their archon! Go on, moan my name!", barbatos grinned, holding you close while grinding deeply into your walls. About to cum you just looked down at the city and moaned loud, "b-barbatos i'm sorry!!!", with that you came again. Closing your eyes, enjoying the moment you didn't realised venti turning back to his normal form, cumming too. Hugging you close, pressing your breasts together while pushing everything inside your cunt till the last drop.
Opening your eyes again, panting, you saw venti laying close to you, laying in bed, blanket placed over you. "I love you so much windblume! You're truly amazing. Thank you for accepting this side of me!", venti said with a smile on his face, leaning in to kiss you. You smiled, kissed back and whispered, "I love you to venven! All of you! Let's do this again sometime okay?~", you cuddled close to venti. With that you fell asleep. Soon after venti followed you to the land of dreams.
~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~💜~
Bonus:
As venti woke up you were no where to be seen. A yawn left the bard, looking towards the clock. It's still early in the morning, where did you go? Geting out of bed to search for you, just to drag you back to bed to cuddle. It was way to early for him to be up. Seeing light in the bathroom, he walked in, eyes slowly widened as he heard the shower.
Seeing you humming under the shower. Lost in melody. Wasn't that a melody he recently played? Well but that wasn't the most important thing right now.He could fell his cock geting hard once again. Oh archons, couldn't you just lock the bathroom probably? You didn't even know what you did to him. The way your ass looked so fuckable under the water. He couldn't resist. His tattoos started to glow. With a small smirk he switched his form again, knowing you liked it very much last night. Quietly walking up to you from behind.
Weird. You were cleaning yourself, feeling quiet dirty from all the sweat. Humming a melody of a song that venti had played lately. And suddenly the anemo-mark on your lower stomatch, right above your cunt started to glow. What was that? Did venti gave it to you last night? To be honest, you were so fucked out, that you barely remember anything! You did remember that he switched his form for you, that he showed you a side from him no one ever saw! Which made you so happy. And that it all felt fucking amazing!
A scream left your body and you dropped the showerhead as you felt something tickling inside your body. In your cunt and on your breats. What?? It feels so good.. Next thing you felt was a chest pressing into yours, "Already screaming for me? I'm not even inside you yet~", venti chuckled caressing over your back, hugging you from behind. Another moan left you, legs shaking, leaning against the wall infront of you.
"V-venti.. i-it ahh- what are y-you doi- ahh!!", trying to speak while clinging towards the wall from pleasure didn't work so well.
"Mhh? Me? Weren't you the one seducing me? Leaving the door unlocked, even open, pressing your ass towards me as soon as your felt my presence?~", venti said, giving a spank to your ass while softly kneading it. You yelped, while another moan left you. True! Actually you were hoping for him to come in. But you never expected it to actually happen.
"So you will deal with the consequences! Bend over!", the god ordered while helping to get in position.
ONE FINGER IN
OUT
IN
AND OUT
ANOTHER FINGER IN
OUT
IN
OUT
FASTER
He pushed them into your ass. Stretching you open. Speading up the pace after a while. Enjoying the moans and whines you let out. They even echoed here in the bathroom. How hot you sounded.
At the beginning in felt weird but after seconds it felt soo good. You couldn't help but to push your hips back against his fingers. You wanted more, "v-venti please.. I want you..", you moaned looking back him. His eyes looked at you, and smirked, "You already have me! Say it! Tell me what you want from me?~", the god said. Such a tease! You pouted but gave in, "I want your cock in my ass! P-Please fill my ass up!!", you moaned and hid your face in your hands, leaning against the wall.
Venti removed his fingers and with one thrust he pushed his whole length into your ass. Moaning and pressing you further against the wall. Breats pressing on the cold wall. You almost slipped at the feeling. Yet it didn't hurt at all. The pleasure made your head spin. If venti hadn't such a strong grip on your legs you surely would've fallen over.
"Windblume... now you're completly mine! Everything, every part of you belongs to me~", venti whispered as he started to move inside you. Spreading your ass checks apart, enjoying the view. After a while his pace increased and the thrusts got harder. As your hard nippels moved against up and down with the thrusts against the cold wall you were gone. Drooling out of your mouth.
"You're so tight! I'm about to cum! Cum with me!!!", he groaned. Having an idea. This would make you cum on the spot! Ehe~ Venti grabbed the showerhead and placed in betweenn your thighs, right on your clit. A yelp came from you, pressing your thighs together. A chuckle escaped the bard as he pressed his two fingers into your cunt. Moving his fingers at the same time as his cock. "Look at you! And you still wanted to be innocent yesterday? My lovely windblume, you're such a naughty beeing! You gave all your innocence to me! Now cum!!", barbatos smirked, thrusting hard into you. Letting out a loud groan, cumming himself. Shooting his sees deep inside your ass.
Tears rolling down your face, eyes in the back of your head, babling some non understandble mess while your legs were shaking. You came. Squirted once again. Collapsing into the wall. Starting to whine because of the showerhead hitting your clit. Driving you into overstimulation. Venti removed his fingers just to look at your fucked out, broken face. A devilish smirk appeared on his lips. He didn't know what came over him but he pushed his finger back into your abused cunt. Moving at a quick pace, leting the shower head do it's work.
You shoke your head, trying to show venti you coudln't handle anymore but the only thing that came out were moans, whines, yelps. Nothing helpfull.
"My starlight.. you make me all hard again..", venti whispered while biting your ear gently. With that you came again. Shaking, screaming. But lord barbatos didn't seem to stop! Instead he started to move his cock again. Gently thrusting into your ass.
His eyes glowing,
"After all, you asked for this right? So now you gonna deal with it! You asked for lord barbatos to show you all of him! Now you gonna take all of me?~".
The sun was up, it was lively outside, yet the whole teapot just heard your screams and sinfull actions until the next moon shined.
~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~💙~
(Thank you for reading this!! Hope you enjoyed!~ 💜 )
#venti smut#genshin venti smut#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#barbatos smut#venti fanfic#venti x reader#venti x you#venti imagines#genshin fanfic#lord barbatos#dom venti month!#genshin impact imagines#mysinsforventi
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Julian caring for a partner with anxiety
(Because I currently have really bad anxiety and I need this)
(relevant screenshot lmao)
Julian gently coaxing you out of bed when you wake up paralyzed with fear. While you’re taking deep breaths in an attempt to slow your racing heart upon waking up, he places a hand on your shoulder, whispering encouraging words to you before he gets ready. He knows it’s not easy, but he has every faith in you that you’ll be able to find the courage to get out of bed. (plus, it’s better than lying around)
The first time you had a panic attack around him, it nearly gave him a heart attack until you eventually explained that it’s just one of the pesky ways your anxiety manifested. Knowing you weren’t going to drop dead from cardiac arrest was a relief, and you both soon found ways where he could aid you when things began to become overwhelming. These days, he’s better able to notice the signs of one coming on. He’s in full doctor mode, helping you control your breathing, speaking to you gently, getting you to turn your focus to something else.
More under the cut
Continued
Somewhere along the way he noticed that letting you hold his hand helped ground you quickly as well, and he’s more than happy to offer them. When you do reach out to hold him, his grip is always warm, steadying, a little soothing even. It helps you from floating too far off the ground, so to speak.
He's more than happy to accompany you when running errands. He once offered to help run them for you, but you tell him you're actually worse off left alone with your thoughts and enjoy his company. He does have to remember to slow down when walking, though.
When you’re not as anxious and a little more functional, he keeps your mind off your worries by doing what he does best- being a chatterbox. Tall tales to keep you engaged? He’s got it. Gossip from the Rowdy Raven? Ohhh, wait till you hear what new cocktails Barth’s coming up with now! You two spend hours idly chatting back and forth, and what do you know? Hardly an anxious thought, or at least, you’re better able to keep them at bay with him around.
Anxiety is known to cause tummy troubles, and this is something our dear doctor has a little more expertise in, seeing as it’s on the physical side of things. The experience he’s gained from dealing with patients with similar issues has led him to be able to help you manage your symptoms.
Nausea? He has a little vial of peppermint oil on standby, something he learned from his own apprenticeship. Those odours from festering wounds are no joke, it’s saved his own senses from time to time while operating.
Appetite loss? He often forgets to eat himself, but he always reminds you to at least have a snack if you can. A cookie, some toast, literally anything as long as you can stomach it. At times like these he also pesters Portia and/or Mazelinka for advice. Suffice it to say they’re both happy to help too. He’s not a great cook, but if he has time in the mornings he might prepare some oatmeal. Something digestible and easy to eat. It helps that the noises from the kitchen and his humming also help settle you down in the morning.
He’s sure to keep anything caffeinated away from you. You do chide him a little for treating you like a child, and he immediately apologises for doing so, but in all fairness, maybe having the high strength coffee out of reach for a while is a good idea. No one needs a caffeine-induced spiral. Just to get back at him, you also end up hiding the coffee bean stash from his prying eye(s).
Come night time however, and that’s when you’re simultaneously the least and most worried. Physically, you’re as calm as calm can be. Mentally, however? You dread going to bed. Because that either means nightmares, disturbed sleep, waking up in the morning all anxious again, or likely a mix of all three.
You confide in him about your worries, and while there isn’t anything he can do to prevent them, he does promise you his support. After all, you were there for him when he had troubled nights himself, weren’t you?
He’s not a very heavy sleeper himself, and he feels you tossing and turning around in bed almost immediately. Be it a nightmare, or simply your mind forcing you awake, it’s an arduous task for you to try and return to sleep. The moment you turn your back to face him in bed, he’s looking at you with concern and empathy and holds you close (with your permission, of course).
The warmth and pressure of his embrace is nearly enough for your racing heart to return to normal. You utter a muffled apology, but he soon shuts it down. It’s not your fault, and it’s not a burden on him either. He simply just wants to see you alright again. Plus, now he gets to fret over you a little, and it delights him ever so slightly that he gets to feel a little useful while taking care of you. After more whispered affirmations and him gently playing with your hair, you soon drift off to sleep again.
Bonus for the artists out there:
One of the other things that you’ve been doing to keep your anxious thoughts at bay was with art. It helps keep your mind focused on something in the moment. Recently, Julian has become your muse of choice. Seeing your beloved come to life on the page/canvas has the added effect of relaxing you further, in fact. Julian is obviously incredibly flattered upon finding out. Tears of joy well up in his eyes, he never thought that he would one day be anyone’s source of comfort, let alone yours. He hopes to continue being that guiding light in the dark for you, as you have been for him.
#the arcana#the arcana game#julian devorak#the arcana headcanons#the arcana fluff#julian x reader#jesus i did not expect this to be so long#1k words everyone!#just for this!#augh!
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
February 2024 Review Roundup
well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month
the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.
i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess
House of Leaves
does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king
House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.
I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again
Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)
ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes
9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.
Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan
I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.
Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king
10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.
Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.
Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.
My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.
My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious
oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.
Rebuild of Evangelion
Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”
APPARENTLY NOT
[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]
I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.
While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.
I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.
Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.
My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:
This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up
There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies
High School Musical 3
kinda slaps just a little bit
High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere
Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:
The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.
What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg
Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:
Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it
The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.
One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:
What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????
Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)
There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.
Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that
Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny
The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.
Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.
Some YouTube videos i liked in February:
💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya)
💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could)
💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game
💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels
And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!
…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel
Hazbin Hotel
well i didn’t like it
Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.
Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago
The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.
Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:
A boardroom
A video store
Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)
Various streets
Another boardroom
A BDSM club
Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)
A porn studio
A bar
Another bar
A town square (full of cannibals)
None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.
I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.
However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.
Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.
3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY
I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.
There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk
First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.
Then, it cuts straight to this shot:
A few things here.
Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.
Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.
And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:
In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.
Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:
The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:
Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:
Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.
And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.
Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.
MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS
Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:
The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.
This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.
Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.
Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.
Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.
I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.
I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.
I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:
The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.
I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.
You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.
well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye
#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3#jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post#review roundup#long post
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
With you, everything's okay (USWNT x ADHD Reader)
This is part 3 of the ADHD reader series. It's kinda long, but hope you enjoy!
Part one
Part two
Words: 4.6K
Due to the Adderall shortage I didn't have much of my medication, which was not great. I was supposed to get a refill a couple of days ago, but I wasn't able to yet. It could be a few days, weeks or months until I got more. Given what's been on the news, it was something I had anticipated so I had a few days worth for when I really needed it. I had a doctors appointment next week to try figure out a different medication, but I was almost tempted to just not do it. When I first got medication for my ADHD it was a long process of dose adjustments, and dealing with side effects. It was mentally and physically draining. It was something I didn't really want to go through again. The headaches and sleepless nights when I didn't take it were bad enough. Though I didn't know how I would cope long term without it.
We had just started another month long camp which made this whole thing just a bit more difficult. Ally wasn't with me and I wasn't sure if or when she would be able to visit. For now I was trying to distract myself. I had spent hours so far scouring the internet and going from jeweler to jeweler with Ali trying to find the perfect ring for Ally. None of them were good enough or matched who Ally was. She didn't like fancy rings with big stones or really any stones. She preferred more plain, flush bands with maybe a tiny stone. Ally deserved more than a plain band though. I just had to find the perfect one.
For the third or maybe fourth time I had dragged Ali out shopping with me. It had probably been hours and I still hadn't found anything that was right. I was starting to get frustrated when Ali literally dragged me away from the mall to the park across the road.
"You need to take a break."
"But-"
"No, you're getting frustrated and irritable so we're taking a break."
My eyes started to water as I hid my face in my hands, "I just want to find the ring she deserves Ali."
Ali sat down beside me, pulling me into her side, "I know and we will. It'll just take some time, it's only been a few weeks since you got engaged. Have you looked into custom design rings?"
I had gotten Ally a cheap ring in the mean time, but I hated that she had to wait for a proper one. "I didn't even think of that."
We went back to the hotel after getting lunch. Since Ali mentioned it, I was itching to look into designer rings. I had briefly on my phone, but Ali quickly stopped me so I would actually eat. It was a free day so I locked myself in my room quickly going down the rabbit hole of custom rings. I spent hours comparing different companies and small businesses, calling or emailing them to figure out more around pricing and what type of designs they could do. I ended up finding a small business that could get it done in about 2-3 weeks once the design was decided on.
The design was the next thing I got lost in. I wanted to get it done as soon as possible so Ally could finally get the ring to go with the proposal. There were a couple of ideas that I was playing around with, but it was hard to choose just one. I don't know how long it had been when my phone rang breaking me out of my fixation. Of course it was a facetime from Ally, her ringtone always brought me back to reality.
Hey baby
Hi
What's got you so distracted that you didn't even look at me? I miss my beautiful smile
I laughed, quickly glancing at her, involuntary smile stretching across my face,Nothing, sorry
Right, I'll pretend I believe you. Did you eat?
It's not dinner yet
Baby, it's 9pm where you are.
No it's no- Oh shit, I got distracted
Ally giggled, the sound making my heart skip a beat. I wished she was here. I figured, Ali is going to bring you something since I know you won't leave whatever it is you're doing.
Thank you Al. Can I ask you something?
Anything
If you had to pick one thing from our relationship, date, holiday, whatever really, what's your favourite thing?
That's a hard one. Do you remember our snowboarding trip?
Our first trip together was a snow boarding trip. We hadn't been together very long and we ended up getting snowed in with no power for 2 nights. All we could do was read, cuddle, play board games, talk and try to keep the fire going. Ally and I had connected from the start, but that trip was a sort of turning point in our relationship. We got to know each other on a deeper level, telling each other all the intimate and deep parts of ourselves. That was when I told her about my adhd, my family, how they acted and how I felt growing up.
It was the first time I ever cried in front of her. There had been a sense of shame wash over me. I wasn't one to cry in front of people, it had been ingrained in me since I was young. Ally had just held me tightly, whispering reassurances then making me laugh harder then I had in a long time. She had never judged me about anything. Sure, occasionally she would tell me I was being stupid, but she always had my back.
Where's that head of yours baby?
Sorry, I was just thinking back to that trip. It was a disaster, but I loved that trip.
Me too. I think that's my favourite
There was a knock on the door before I could reply. My stomach growled when I saw the food Ali was holding. I hadn't realised how hungry I actually was. In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have eaten if Ali hadn't shown up with food, "Thank you Ali."
"You're welcome. I'm just glad someone could get through to you. We've all been texting and calling you, even knocked on the door. We figured you were asleep or completely zoned out."
"You got Ally to call me?"
"She was already going to. I just asked if she had heard from you. I didn't want to wake you up if you were asleep, I know the last couple of days have been hard."
"I appreciate that. I got stuck into that thing we were talking about. I'll show you later."
Ally and I continued to talk while I kept working on the design and she started to fall asleep. I stayed on the phone with her even after she fell asleep. We had always slept on facetime together when we were apart. It made us feel closer when we couldn't be.
By time 4am rolled around I had finally finished the design idea. I had done a rough sketch, but also described my idea so the person could adjust if needed to what they could do. My design idea was mountains that wrapped around the entire band. A textured sky to resemble a snowy day with a small set diamond to look like the moon and hopefully someway to make the mountains look like it was covered in snow. I didn't know if it was completely possible, but even something remotely like that would be okay. I quickly sent it off before I could overthink and change my mind. I was very glad that we had another day off tomorrow.
---
"Ally!" I ran, jumping in her arms and hugging her tightly. "What are you doing here?"
"Thought I would surprise you again."
"Not that I don't love that you're here, but aren't you busy at work?"
"I am, but I can work remotely now."
"You can? Wait, you got the promotion?" Ally nodded, huge smile on her face as I picked her up and spun her around, kissing her hard. "Oh my god, this is amazing. You are amazing. I am so fucking proud of you Ally."
The girls wandered into the lobby, greeting Ally with quick hugs, "Guys! Ally got the promotion!"
Some of the girls practically jumped on Ally telling her how proud they were. They had even dragged her out for dinner that night saying that we had to celebrate her achievement. Some even going as far as doing speeches. I loved how much they adored Ally, how they had welcomed her into the team without hesitation.
We were lying in bed that night, wrapped up in each other. I brushed a piece of hair out of her face before kissing her softly, "I really am so proud of you Ally. You're amazing. You've worked so hard for this, you deserve this."
"Thank you Y/n. I couldn't have done it without your love and constant support even if my job bores you."
"Yeah well, for you I will go through all the boring shit in life a million times over." I kissed her softly before sighing, "I'm sorry Al."
Ally's forehead creased as her eyebrows drew together, "What are you apologising for?"
"I'm sorry that it's been weeks since I proposed and I haven't gotten you a proper ring yet. You deserve the perfect ring and I'm sorry you don't have it yet."
She smiled softly, cupping my cheek and making me look at her, "Do you remember what I said when you asked me to marry you?" I shook my head. All I remembered was her saying yes and being very excited. "I told you that I don't care about a ring and I meant it. If this was the only ring you got me, I wouldn't care. All I care about is being with you okay?"
"I love you Ally so fucking much. I just- Your ring is on the way, I just don't know when it'll get here."
"It's okay, I already know I'll love it."
---
Arms wrapped around me from behind, kisses being placed along my jaw. I turned my head, connecting our lips in a long kiss as I pulled her round to my lap. Ally squealed against my lips, giving me the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. A breathy moan slipped from Ally as our tongues met. After a couple of seconds, Ally's fingers dug into my shirt as she pushed me away, "We're in the meal room."
"That can be changed besides no one else is here."
"I have a meeting in half an hour so stop being a horndog and show me what had you so focused."
"You can't blame me, you know what your work clothes do to me."
I had been looking at different wedding themes on Pinterest, but I was struggling to find ones that might actually suit Ally and I. We were very simple people, we didn't need anything fancy to be happy. We weren't traditional either. It was something we used to make jokes about, how we would go the complete opposite way, have some random colour instead of white, casual clothes and a barbeque. Just one big party. I didn't know what we were actually going to do. When we talked about it, it was just an idea, far off in the future. Now it was a reality and I was so excited to marry Ally. I knew we actually had to talk about when we wanted to do it, but I couldn't wait to marry her.
I turned my computer so Ally could see, "Anyway, I'm looking at wedding ideas. We should talk about when we want to do it, soon, sooner, soonish, far away, somewhere in the middle. I mean, I'm really fucking excited to marry you, but if you wan-"
"Okay baby, take a breath. You just named three times that are pretty much the same and aren't actually times."
"Sorry, I'm just excited. You know I never thought I would want to get married, let alone be this excited about it."
Ally wrapped her arms around me, kissing my temple, "I know Y/n/n. Don't apologise for being excited, I never meant to make it sound like a bad thing. Trust me, I can't wait to marry you and I love that you are excited to marry me, I would be kind of mad if you weren't."
I giggled, nuzzling my nose against her neck, "So what do you think?"
"Well, I think the sooner the better."
"Exactly what I was thinking. The more I look, the more I'm convinced on a court house wedding. It's such a process."
"A court house wedding would be a lot easier."
"No! you can't have a court house wedding," Kelley yelled making us jump and me glare at her.
---
Today was the worst day yet without my meds. I was exhausted, my head hurt, I was irritable beyond belief, every little sound or touch felt a hundred times worse and I couldn't focus on anything. There had been a very small handful of times in our relationship that I couldn't handle Ally's touch, this was one of those times. It always made me feel like shit, guilty that my own girlfriend couldn't even touch me. That didn't help me feel any better. Ally was always so understanding about it all, reassuring me that it was okay and dealing with my over touching afterwards to make up for it. Today was no different, Ally had been amazing, giving me space, reassuring me.
Ally had brought me lunch so I wouldn't have to be around the team. We were sitting on the floor in silence after eating. Normally, just being near Ally would help but everything was starting to get too overwhelming. I felt like I was about to explode, like any second I would break. And I did. I didn't mean for it to happen, things just boiled over. Ally suggested we go for a walk, she knew it would help, so did I but I couldn't bring myself to leave the room. I ended up snapping at her.
"Come on Y/n/n, you know it'll help."
"Just give it a rest! I don't need you pestering me, I'm not a child, I'm an adult, I can handle this myself. Just back off."
Ally just looked at me for a second before getting up and walking out. I buried my hands in my hair, pulling slightly. Maybe it wasn't the most healthy thing, but it helped ground me. Well normally it would. It helped enough to snap me out of it and realised I fucked up, "Fuck."
Tears fell before I could stop them as I curled up in a ball and cried. I had never snapped at Ally like that before. Sure we had fights occasionally, but there was never yelling. I cried and sobbed, letting everything from the last week or so out. Being off my meds was exhausting, physically but mostly mentally. My mind was almost constantly a mess. It took me back to how I felt growing up. Like I was annoying, a burden, stupid. That the people around me only put up with me because they had to. Ally included.
Once the tears finally stopped, I just lay there staring at the celling. It's like I was stuck there, I knew I had to go find Ally, but I couldn't move. The door opened then I felt someone sit down next to me. I knew it wasn't Ally, she always wore a perfume that I would recoganise instantly.
"What's going on Y/n/n?" Christens soft voice filled the silence.
"It's too much. I-I don't know if I can handle this. I'm just a burden to everyone around me. I fucked up, Ally hates me. It's just too much Chris."
"Y/n Y/l/n you are not a burden. I know things are hard without your medication, but that does not mean you are a burden. We love you, we are here for you okay? I know it's hard, I know it feels overwhelming, but we've got you. We've always got you Y/n. Ally could never hate you, she loves you. Did something happen with her?"
"I fucked up. I snapped at her when she was just trying to help. I've never done anything like that before. I fucked up Chris," My voice cracked, tears somehow welling up again.
Christen pulled me into her. I didn't fight it, instead gripping her shirt tightly as sobbed wracked through me again. She rubbed my back, whispering quiet reassurances. Eventually Christen moved, being replaced by someone else who held me tight, hand slipping under my shirt and drawing patterns along my skin. Perfume overtook my senses, that sweet perfume I knew so well. I sobbed harder, gripping her shirt as if my life depended on it. In a way it did. I couldn't imagine my life without Ally in it. She understood me in a way no one else did, she knew how to calm me down, how to support me, how to make me laugh. Most importantly she loved me despite my flaws.
"I'm sorry Ally, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I'm so-"
"Shhh, it's okay, I've got you baby, I've got you."
It took a while, but eventually the tears stopped. I sat up, moving away from Ally to sit against the bed. I felt myself go numb. Over the years, it had become my way to protect my self when things, especially emotions got too much. It hadn't happened in a while. Things were never too much when Ally was around, it was manageable. Right now I didn't know where we stood and I was scared.
I felt two warm hands cup my cheeks and soft lips press against my forehead, "Don't do that. Don't blank out on me. Come back to me."
"W-what are you doing here?"
"Chris texted, she was worried about you, said you needed me."
"You came even after I said what I did."
Ally laced her fingers with mine, "Of course I did. While I didn't appreciate what happened, I know you didn't mean it. Besides, you needed me. I will always be there for you when you need me."
"I'm sorry for snapping at you, I was just so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can do this Al. It's just so much."
She pulled me up, wrapping me tightly in her arms then guiding me so we were cuddled in bed, "I know it's hard baby, I know it's frustrating, but we've got this. I'm right here by your side every step of the way, I'm not going anywhere."
"We're okay?"
"We're okay baby. You owe me a massage though, when you're feeling better to make up for this."
I chuckled, cuddling into her side, my eyes getting heavy, "Deal. I love you Al."
"I love you Y/n. Try and get some sleep. I'm finished work for the day. Chris is going to bring dinner for us a bit later."
---
The ring had just arrived at the hotel and I was scared to open it. I ran straight up to Ali, pulling her away much to the confusion of Ally and everyone else. I shoved the package at her, making her stumble back a bit.
"Calm down a bit Y/n/n. What is it?"
"The ring. Can you open it? I'm kinda scared."
Ali carefully opened the package then the box. I was way more nervous than I expected to be. I had spent so long trying to find the perfect ring, I guess I was worried this wouldn't be it, that it wasn't anything close to what I was hoping for.
"This is beautiful Y/n. It's perfect."
I slowly took the box from Ali, freezing when I saw it. It was exactly what I had envisioned. Seeing the ring felt like a weight had been lifted. After spending so much time searching, I finally had the ring Ally deserved. Thoughts of her not liking it tried to creep in, but I managed to push them away. I knew Ally would like it. "It's exactly what I wanted. It came out way better than I expected."
"So are you just going to give it to her? Or do another proposal?"
"I'm not sure. I was kind of thinking about proposing again just for the fun of it. The original proposal wasn't that special."
"I think you'll find to Ally it was. Even if it wasn't extravagant, it was just the two of you. Personal and intimate."
"Probably. Let's be honest, I just want to spoil her. Can you hold onto this for me? I'm terrified of losing it."
Ali wrapped her arm around me, trying not to laugh, "Of course I will. Let me know if you need help planning it. Let's get back before they start to question it."
Ally was going to say yes. Knowing that let the excitement bubble up instead of the nerves. I was incredibly excited to propose to her, the plan was already coming together in my mind. I didn't want to wait, all going well it was going to happen tonight.
Once we got back, I beelined to Ally, "I have two questions. First, will you go on a date with me tonight? Second, do you want to go make out?"
"Yes and definitely yes."
---
Since we started dating, picnics were a big part of our relationship. We both had jobs that meant we dealt with a lot of people. Picnics were the way we escaped reality and people without being inside or around our flat mates at the time. I figured there was no better place to propose then on a picnic.
Because our date was last minute and we had practice today, I hadn't had enough time to set up the picnic. Ali had agreed to set up the picnic while I took Ally bowling. She loved bowling and it gave time to set everything up. Ally had won by a lot which was not a surprise, I sucked at bowling. Of course she had gloated about it, but with the proud smile she wore, I couldn't even be annoyed.
Before we left, I had texted Ali to make sure everything was set up so we didn't get there too early. I was driving when the reply came in. Ally went to check like normal, but I quickly stopped her, much to her confusion.
"You can't check that one, it'll ruin the surprise." I pulled over checking the message, making sure to hide it from Ally. Thankfully she didn't question it.
Ali: Food took longer then planned, just picked it up, need 10 minutes to finish everything. Also found the perfect place to film it.
Ally was wearing a grey sweater, white blouse underneath with the collar showing and black jeans. I don't know what it was, but I found her incredibly attractive when she wore stuff like that. It was mostly for work which is why I got kicked out when she was working. I couldn't keep my hands to myself. "So we need to kill 10 minutes. You look incredibly beautiful so lets make out."
"Yeah okay."
Ali had set up a blanket on the beach with candles, rose petals and a small speaker for music. Instead of doing the classic picnic foods, I got Ali to pick up some Thai food because it was Ally's favourite and another one of our traditions.
I watched Ally's eyes light up as we approached the picnic, "Baby, this is beautiful. How did you set this up?"
"I may have gotten Ali to help set it up. You like it?"
"You don't even have to ask, I love everything you do. This is perfect baby. Is that Thai? I'm starving."
I had planned to do the proposal first for 3 reasons. I was terrified of losing the ring, it was likely I would get more nervous as time went on and Ali was waiting to film it. "It is, you need to wait a minute before we eat."
I found the ring before taking Ally's hand, "Growing up I never thought I would find someone who loved me so unconditionally, who loved me as I was. Who would stick by me and support me through everything. But I did. I found you and I never want to lose you. I want you, no I need you by my side for the rest of my life. I love you Ally, more than you will ever know. I know you've already said yes, but I wanted to do this properly." I sunk down on one knee, opening the box, "Will you marry me Ally?"
"Yes, a million times yes." I easily slipped the ring onto her finger watching her eyes widen as she looked at the ring closer. "Holy shit Y/n, this is amazing. Where did you find it?"
"I designed it. It's based on the snowboarding trip."
"Just when I thought I couldn't love you more, you prove me wrong. You are amazing baby. Words can't describe how much I love this. I want this to be my wedding ring as well. It's too perfect to just be an engagement ring. Is that allowed?"
"We can do whatever we want. Ali filmed that by the way, I wanted it for our memories."
---
Ally and I were looking at wedding ideas together for the first time. At first I was slightly worried that we weren't going to be on the same page, that it might cause fights. I had seen it happen to couples before. I quickly realised that it was a pointless worry, we were on the same page about everything so far. We wanted simple, non-traditional.
We had started looking at things we would need for the wedding, such as the venue and catering. Everything we had looked at so far was expensive, which I guess wasn't that much of a surprise, everyone always says weddings are expensive.
I sighed, pushing the laptop away and turning to Ally, "Why are weddings so expensive? Like I know we can afford it, but it just seems like a waste."
"I know, it's just one day, we could use that money towards our honeymoon or a house."
I straddled Ally, hiding my face against her shoulder. As much as I loved planning things, without my meds, even that was slightly overwhelming after a bit of time. There were so many options and things to consider, "We could do a backyard wedding. Ali and Ash might let us use their place if we asked nice enough."
"Of course we would." I jumped, turning around to find them both standing there.
"I swear the word wedding is like a magnet for all of you. Every time it's mentioned, someone shows up."
"Well you guys keep talking about it in places where there's a high likely hood of someone being around. Anyway, we would love to have your wedding at our place if that's what you wanted."
Reluctantly, I climbed off Ally, moving to stand by Ali and Ash, "You would really do that for us?"
Ali smiled softly, pulling me in for a hug, "Of course we will kiddo. You're family. You're family too Ally."
I noticed Ally trying to hide her smile. No matter how much they showed they loved her or treated her like part of the team, I still got the same warm, almost ecstatic feeling. To me the team was family. The fact that they saw Ally as family was really important to me. "We're not planning anything over the top or even overly traditional, just simple with friends and family."
"Are your parents going to be there?" Ashlyn tried to hide the annoyance in her voice when mentioning my parents, but it didn't work. I wasn't surprised by it, when they found out what it was like for me growing up, they were pissed.
I had opened up to them about a lot of things, especially Ali, but besides vague information about how they treated me, my parents never really came up. "No, I um cut them off about 3 years ago. They were just destroying my mental health. Ally's parents will be there though, they pretty much took me in."
"They like you more than me sometimes."
"Well we can't wait to meet them."
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish I knew (you wanted me) Larissa / Reader angsty oneshot
Summary: Larissa announces her engagement. Reader can sense something is off.
Hi! Happy Sunday! It seems like it’s becoming a sort of tradition of mine to set you up with an angsty oneshot on the weekend, how fun (this is not a promise that this will keep happening, but it already happened two Sundays in a row, so…who knows?). Anyway, I hope you enjoy the gut-wrench that is today’s fic.
You can read it on AO3 here
Tags: Mutual Pining, marriage of convenience, angst upon angst, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, guns and taser guns, violence, blood & injury, hospitals, mentions of death, afterlife and hell, season 1 spoilers. Wordcount: 3906
You looked at her, surrounded by well-wishers, side by side with her newly-announced fiancé. By your side, Vlad leaned against the wall, his eyes on the tall frame of the principal as well. He was the one that broke the comfortable silence.
– She looks so happy.
– No, she doesn't.
– What are you on about, look at her smiling away and showing off her ring.
– It's a fake smile. Obviously.
– What do you even mean?
– How is it possible that you don't see it? Look at her eyes. When she's really smiling, her eyes crinkle up, and her nose scrunches up a little and you can almost feel the joy coming off of her. There's nothing of that sort now. She looks...hollow.
– Are you sure you're not an empath?
– Don't be a dick now, Vlad. You know perfectly well I am a no-show, the only normie in a family of outcasts. The only reason why they let me here at Nevermore is because of family traditions. And I managed to snag the history teaching position pretty soon after I finished uni, luckily, so I came back.
– You might be a late bloomer.
– Or I might actually be able to see what's plainly in front of my eyes. Whatever the reason she's doing it, it's not because it makes her happy.
– Okay, maybe you are not an empath, maybe you are just obsessed with your boss.
– I...am not! I look up to her, that's all.
– Darling, we all look up to her, the woman is like six foot something. But when you do look at her, your eyes are basically heart shaped. Now that is plain for everyone to see.
– Fat lot of good it does now, doesn't it? She’s going to get married soon anyway. It’s not like I’m going to confess to her on her wedding day.
*
You closed the door behind you, letting your eyes travel over her.
– You look...beautiful, – you murmured, hating how your voice broke a little while saying it.
She really did look glorious, her wedding gown hugging her frame, leaving her creamy shoulders bare, her collarbones decorated by a simple necklace. Her hair was coiffed in a similar updo to the one she usually wore, enriched by the lace veil cascading down her back from where it was pinned to the back of her head. Beautiful didn’t even start to describe Larissa Weems on her wedding day.
And then she looked up at you from her sitting position and your breath caught in your throat at how her splendid blue eyes were bright with unshed tears.
Not the tears of nervous happiness one could expect of a bride about to get married: those were tears of heartbreak. Without thinking, you rushed by her side, kneeling beside her chair, your hand finding hers and curling around it. It was cold like a corpse's.
– You don't love him.
It wasn't really a question, but she still shook her head, mutely.
– And I bet he doesn't love you either, does he?
She shook her head again, pressing her lips together, as if to prevent herself from talking.
– Then why are you doing this?
As the first tears broke the barrier of her lids and started rolling down her face, she looked away, unable or unwilling to answer.
Resignation.
– Larissa, there's always other possibilities. You don't have to.
– It's for the good of the school. – she whispered, brokenly.
– But what about your happiness? Do you really want to be stuck in a loveless marriage of convenience?
Something must have struck a nerve, because she bristled at this, hurt and anger and frustration mingling in her tone: – I'm doing this to protect my Nevermore family. And that includes you.
– Don't you dare tell me you are marrying him because of me. I'm sure there are other ways to solve this issue. Ways that don't condemn you to a life of regret.
– Why do you even care?
– I love you.
The words were out before you realized it, but even if you could, you wouldn't take them back. She needed to know.
Her eyes snapped back to you, wide open, as she pressed her hand to her mouth. The tears kept streaming down her cheeks. In the silent room, you could hear the muffled sob that she was trying to hide.
– I cannot bear to watch you marry him seeing how unhappy it makes you.
Her hand left her face, coming down to grip yours in a bruising hold. You could see her lips quivering as she struggled for words.
– I wish I had known...I couldn't dare to hope...
– Hope for what?
– My feelings to be returned.
Her voice was the faintest of whispers, but it struck you with the force of a thunderclap. You were still reeling from it when her lips were on yours, soft as you had always imagined them, but almost timid in their movements against your mouth. You kissed back, your tongue running against her mouth, tasting the saltiness of her tears before she allowed you entry, her hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you in even more, her movements now almost desperate. As if she wanted to commit the sensation to memory.
You pulled away slightly, whispering against her lips, in a prayer: – Don't marry him. Let's go back to Nevermore, regroup there. We'll find another way. We can make it work.
Her hand fell away from your nape, and she straightened up, putting distance between the two of you. You could see the pain, raw on your face, and you knew what she was about to say before her lips moved.
– I... We can't, I’m sorry. I…
Screams coming from the assembled people outside interrupted whatever else she had been about to say, but her answer had been clear already. She would choose unhappiness with someone else, even if she returned your feelings. You had lost your only chance.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again, even harder now that you'd allowed yourself to hope for a handful of seconds, for the time of a kiss. You stood up, feeling unbalanced on your own two feet.
The terrified screams weren't stopping, echoing the despair you were feeling.
Larissa went to the window, trying without much success to understand what was going on, leaving you with your pain. As she made to move towards the door, you stopped her with a hand on her arm.
– Wait here, I'll go check. Wouldn't want your future husband to see you before the ceremony, right? That would be bad luck. – You didn’t feel guilty at the bitterness in your tone, but it pained you to see her physically recoil hearing it, as if stung.
You opened the door, eyes scanning the garden where the wedding was supposed to take place. You had left it an idyllic set-up of white flowers and chatting guests with soothing live music coming from a string quartet in the far-out corner, and in the small lapse of time you had spent indoors, it had turned into chaos. The chairs had been thrown each and every way, there were people running and screaming, the decorations flung on the floor, or hanging sideways from their original places. Where the band once stood, dark, acrid smoke was rising, tainting the clear morning air. And in the middle of it all, a horribly familiar, bulbous shape, flinging its claws around.
– Well, it seems that young Mr. Galpin has heard of his father remarrying and he’s not happy about it.
– WHAT?
– You stay here, Larissa. Stay safe. I’ll go help out.
You had learned your lesson from last year’s near-disaster. That morning you had thought about leaving your trusted taser gun home (who brings one to a wedding?), but you had felt naked without its comforting weight in your pocket and had decided to hold onto it.
You made your way towards the beast, weaving your way through fleeing people, upturned chairs and fallen debris. The smoke stung your eyes, but you could still clearly see the groom-to-be trying to talk to the Hyde while still aiming his gun at the beast. You couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the Hyde was slowly getting closer to him, leaving a trace of destruction, forcing the sheriff to scramble back, behind the altar. Luckily this allowed you to arrive close enough to the both of them without the Hyde noticing you. Quickly, you took the safety away from your stun gun, and fired it to its muscular back, hoping it would spasm and lock up, incapacitating your enemy.
You weren’t so lucky.
It looked like the shock hadn’t affected the monster in the least, except for making it even angrier, and alerting it to your presence. It turned towards you, its horrifying face contorted into a growl, its arm tangling up in the thin metal wires that connected the darts to your gun. You held onto your weapon, delivering another shock: it seemed to at least cause the beast more pain than it did the first time, if the loud yelp that left its mouth was any indication. However, its flailing movements to get rid of the darts caused it to yank with inhuman strength on the cables, sending you careening through the small distance that separated you, and crashing against the monster’s chest, smacking your heads together.
It felt like hitting a brick wall. Pain bloomed in your forehead, and your vision swam, tunneling on the bulbous, horrible eyes in front of you. Everything felt like it was running in slow motion. For an interminable second, both you and the monster reeled from the hit, unable to make sense of what had just happened, and looking at each other in the eyes unblinkingly like a pair of lovestruck teenagers. Then the Hyde roared in your face, and as its fetid breath hit your face, you felt a pang of sorrow at the thought that its fangs would probably be the last thing you’d see in this life.
You blinked.
The gunshot rang in the suddenly silent garden. Was it silent? It felt silent, but you thought you could still hear some far away screaming. It almost felt like it was your name being called. How ridiculous. Why would anyone scream your name? You turned towards the sound, seeing Larissa, still clad in her wedding gown, a firearm clutched into her shaking hands.
Even then, she looked beautiful. How was that even possible?, you asked yourself as the Hyde collapsed on its shattered knee, taking you down with it. You fell on top of him as he slowly returned to his human form, unconscious due to the pain. The horribly disfigured face morphed back to the well-known one of young Tyler, who had prepared your coffee for years before trying to kill you and all of your students. Even seeing the change first-hand it was still difficult to think he and the beast were inhabiting the same body. You kept staring as the bulbous, grey skin turned back to its human, supple state, the muscles shrank, and the claws retracted back into his fingertips, pulling out from where they were plunged into your abdomen.
Oh.
You rolled on the side, looking at the puncture wounds in a sort of dream-like, detached way. The blood was only now welling up, soaking through your shirt, red blooming bright on the light cloth like a giant flower.
You heard your name again, this time as if coming from even further away. Hands were grabbing your shoulders, and you slowly looked up into Larissa’s beautiful eyes. Her lips were moving, but no sound was reaching your ears. How weird. Your lids were growing heavier, but you fought against it. You wanted to keep looking at her - she was so beautiful, even with tears once again streaming down her face. You were lucky that your feelings were returned, even if she was about to marry someone else. To have any place in the heart of such a woman was already a blessing.
You raised a hand to her cheek, to wipe away her tears, but each movement felt as if you were struggling against quicksand. You only managed to brush against her skin before your arm fell limply back to your side . She was now pressing both of her hands on your abdomen, your blood painting a stark contrast on the immaculate white of her wedding gown. It would take a lot of effort to take out the stain you thought. Was that the reason for the desperation on her face as she looked at you?
Even with that, her face is a much better last thing to see, you thought as you slipped into darkness.
*
Maybe it would have been better to stay dead. Or whatever you had been, you mused, as you unhappily focused your bleary eyes on the scene in front of you. Or perhaps you had died and for all of your not believing in it, you had ended up in hell itself. Probably kissing a soon-to-be-bride and trying to convince her to ditch her fiancé on the altar was some sort of sin. That would explain your own damnation.
You blinked, hoping the scene would change somehow, but it was still the same: you were lying on a bed, in an unfamiliar, too-white room. The sun was streaming in from the window to the side, illuminating a collection of flower vases on the rickety table in front of it. And near the foot of your bed, impossible not to see, a tall figure who couldn’t be anyone else but the last woman you had seen, the woman that still had your heart, whether you were actually dead or still in the realm of the living. Larissa.
Larissa, her shoulder shaking, her face hidden from view, wrapped as she was into the comforting hug of a grave-faced Sheriff Galpin. Her fiancé. Maybe her husband, now. Your heart hurt as if it was still alive, but that was probably your personal torment in hell: being forced to watch them for all of eternity. Unable to look away, unable to reach out. You had never cared for the salvation of your soul until now.
You wondered if you could close your eyes, and were surprised to find out that you could. As darkness enveloped you once again, you hoped never to see the light again.
But you did, and this time the scene had changed. Larissa was alone, sitting on a chair beside your bed. As if through a dream, you could feel the warmth of her hand on yours, and you could smell her perfume hanging in the air around you. You studied her, wondering what today’s torment would be. She was beautiful, as always, even if her face was tired, her eyes listless as they stared at your joined hands.
Maybe…maybe this wasn’t hell after all.
You tried hard to command your hand to slightly squeeze hers, to get her attention, to show both her and yourself that you were awake, that you were alive. It felt like you were trying to move a boulder with your thoughts alone. You tried again and again, straining against the block inside your head. As you were almost about to give up, you felt the tiniest twitch of your fingers, and you thought you felt a soft gasp coming from her lips, but your vision had already turned black once again.
*
Day after day, you would wake up, and always find Larissa by your side, be it night or day, typing away at her laptop, lost in thought, or asleep. Sometimes Sheriff Galpin would be there too, talking to her in hushed tones, or reading the paper in the other chair. You pretended to be asleep when he was there, trying to ignore the tightening of your chest at the two of them together.
You did spend a lot of time sleeping, anyways. Each small movement was a struggle that wiped you out. It took what felt like ages to be able to talk, and even then the first time you had barely managed to croak out a broken Hi and you had seen Larissa’s eyes fill with tears as she smiled at you. You had looked away, unwilling to see the pity you were sure to find there. You felt so useless.
*
– How long…was I out for?
Your voice still had a raspy, weird quality to it, but you were now able to have small conversations, that made you feel somewhat more human.
– It’s been five weeks as of yesterday. – You could see she was trying to act nonchalant about it, probably to avoid upsetting you.
– …Damn. – You managed to choke out. Whatever you had expected, that was not it. Had it really been that long? Five weeks was a long time to be stuck in a hospital. In five weeks a lot could change, especially in a place such as Nevermore. And how much longer would it take for you to go back to your life? If that was even in the cards? Would you be able to talk long enough to teach? To go through a day without sleeping for most of it?
– Quite. – You counted the small upturn of Larissa’s mouth at your eloquent assessment of the situation as a victory. She looked like she hadn’t had a lot of reasons to smile in the last period. She looked gaunt, tired. Having to be here by your side on top of everything else was probably putting a strain on her.
– I’m sorry.
– What for?
– For all the trouble. Having your wedding ruined, and having to care for sick teacher on top of finding a substitute… I’m sorry to have piled more stress on you.
– You must be joking. That was the least of my problems. When I saw you there, all covered in blood I thought… God, I thought… – she passed a hand on her face, as if afraid to finish her sentence. You took pity on her and spoke the words she didn’t want to.
– You thought I was dying.
– Yes. And I wouldn’t have been able to forgive me if you did. You…
– I was stupid. I was trying to help, and made… a bigger mess, as always. – You shrugged in a self-deprecating manner. Why on Earth you thought that a taser gun would work against a Hyde, one of the most dangerous outcast types known to humankind, was still a mystery. Such an idiot. And your idiocy almost costed you your life.
– Don’t you dare to say that! – She grabbed your hand, her eyes piercing yours with an intensity you had never seen in those beautiful blue gems. – If it hadn’t been for you, Donovan and possibly other people would probably be dead. What you did was heroic.
Of course she was grateful to you for saving the sheriff’s life. The man she had chosen even if she wasn’t in love with him. Was this something else that had changed in these five weeks? Had the dramatic experience brought the two closer together? Maybe they had developed those feelings that were missing from their relationship. Maybe having you out of the picture had given Larissa the peace of mind to move on.
Like you would have to do, eventually. No matter how painful it was, she would never be anything more than your boss and possibly a friend to you. Close, but always out of reach. You tried to change the subject, swallowing around the knot in your throat, and pretending that your difficulty with talking came from your accident and not from the gaping hole in your chest where your heart once was.
– Well, I guess…congratulations are in order, right?
– What do you mean?
– The wedding. I’m guessing you two… tied the knot as I was out of it. Hopefully it was… less eventful than the last time, eh, Mrs. Galpin?
It hurt. It hurt to call her that, it hurt to think of how she had clung to the sheriff’s smaller frame the first time you had woken up. It hurt just to think of them together, Jericho’s most recent couple, bound in a marriage of convenience.
– No, there…there was no marriage. We called it off.
– Oh. I see. I’ll try …not to die the next time then. Since you… waited for me to wake back up and all. – Your joke fell flat, as you imagined what a torture it would be to once again see Larissa in a wedding dress, to see her walk down the aisle, exchange her vows, and see her kiss her groom knowing how those lips had felt on yours in that one stolen kiss.
– There will be no next time. Donovan and I - we had a lot of time to talk through things. We decided this would make us both miserable. We, we broke the engagement.
– …
Try as you might, you couldn’t find anything to answer to that. You were fighting too hard to squash the sudden hope that had blossomed in your chest at that announcement. That didn’t mean anything, you tried to tell yourself. It didn’t have anything to do with you, or the kiss you had shared. She had probably just realized how dull living with Sheriff Galpin would be, or something like that.
– Aren’t you going to say anything? – Were you imagining it or had Larissa’s face just dropped slightly, were you imagining it or was there disappointment tinging her tone?
– I…I’m not sure what you want me…to say, Larissa.
She bit her lip, and lowered her eyes to where her hand was still holding yours over the hospital bedsheet. When she spoke, her voice was soft and so warm with feeling it almost took your breath away.
– When you were bleeding out, all I could think of was that I had just found the love of my life, and I had been so bloody stupid to let you go. Please, give me one chance, I prayed. I don’t even believe in a higher Being, but I was praying all the time you were unconscious. Once chance and I am going to do my best to cherish the fact that my feelings are returned. –
She snapped her eyes back to meet yours, and if her voice was full of feelings, it was nothing compared to what her eyes were showing you: – I love you. I have been for quite some time, and yet struggled with accepting it. But now I do, and I realized that no matter what my head was trying to do, my heart already belonged to you. And it is yours if…if you’d like it.
You squeezed her hand and held her gaze, trying to put into words how her words had made your heart whole again, how full and how happy your chest felt now. How hope and love were now vibrating in the air around you, composing a symphony that no human ear could ever comprehend.
In the end the only words you could squeeze out were: – I’d…love to.
But it seemed that she had understood all the other words you hadn’t said, because she squeezed your hand as well, leaning towards you until your lips met into a kiss full of promises and reciprocal love.
Liked it? You can find more of my writings on my fanfiction masterlist!
#larissa weems x reader#larissa weems / reader#larissa weems/you#larissa weems x you#larissa weems fanfiction#larissa weems angst#principal weems fanfiction#dianneking fanfiction#dragonmist fanfiction#dianneking writes#dianneking#larissa/reader#oneshot#wednesday fandom#wednesday (netflix)#larissaxreader#larissaweeemsxreader#gwendoline christie fanfiction#gwendoline christie fandom
170 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw someone mention the idea of sages taking control of their avatars while they're asleep, and that got me thinking about Yunobo.
If you don't mind, may I request a short story about Yunobo taking control of his avatar while dreaming, and making moves on his Hylian friend who he lent his avatar ring to keep them safe on their travels?
Sorry if it's an oddly specific request, I just love the idea of this hylian friend talking to Yuno's avatar to build confidence for when they see their goron crush again, just for his avatar to start showing them affection in what Yuno perceives as an amazing dream
I'm going to lean this on the more sfw side because I have a cute idea (and also because I don't think Yunobo has it in him to engage in anything more than cuddling while the eye of his affections is asleep, he's a gentleman and prefers you to be present ❤️)
Warning for Tears of the Kingdom spoilers mentioned
And this actually gave me a fantastic idea to do a sort of follow up with this ficlet I wrote a while ago. Please enjoy!
When you'd told Yunobo of the trip you needed to make to the Lanayru Wetlands to procure a few rarer herbs, it admittedly made him nervous - but only temporarily. With his new powers awakened, he remembered that came with the perk of having his visage move freely with whomever had the associated ring to wield it. Next thing you knew, a spectral duplicate of your dearest friend walked at your side as you traveled down Death Mountain to your destination. You were grateful for its presence, it was a piece of Yunobo's spirit, and it felt familiar in that sense...but deep down you knew it was not the same thing as physically having him with you.
Still, it made you feel safe, and you appreciated that much.
"Wow it's really coming down out there," you whispered aloud, watching the sky having opened up as you stood at the entrance to the Wetland Stable. You'd an inkling that it was about to rain, and although you weren't far from where you needed to pull your herbs from, you knew better than to get caught in the torrential downpours that occurred in the wetlands. Yunobo's avatar stood behind you, silently looking onward, a mimic of your own actions. A few hours passed as you meticulously mapped out the locations of the plants you planned on retrieving. Soon enough, even through the cover of the still heavy rain, came nightfall. While you were the only attendant at the Wetland Stable, you still did your best to be polite and quietly set up for some rest.
As you looked over to the incorporeal avatar of Yunobo, you smiled plaintively. No conversation ever truly came from that afternoon where Bludo had so loudly let out a supposedly hidden secret Yunobo had about you. You never sought to push the issue, either. In your mind, when he was ready, it would happen. A soft laugh escaped you, wistful as you sensed the specter was looking more through you than at you, even though it met your gaze. Yet that didn't stop your words,
"I suppose I should be grateful that you're here with me, not-Yunobo...but truthfully I wish the real Yunobo was here." The avatar said nothing, hollowed eyes trained toward you and nothing more. It caused you to break your gaze with it momentarily, "If only he really knew...how much he truly meant to me...maybe holding back an 'I love you' wouldn't be this hard, hm?"
You looked up to see his avatar hadn't stirred from its position. Face unchanged, stance unmoved. Another laugh, albeit a little more bitter this time. If you only you were that brave yourself. With a lengthy sigh, you laid yourself down to rest, the sound of heavy rain lulling you quickly to sleep.
----
Tightness in his chest, that's what Yunobo felt as he stirred in his sleep. The vision before him was a tad hazy, though he was able to make out your figure not too far off before him. You sat at the edge of a bed, your expression one of what looked like...sorrow? Why were you sad? Suddenly, he heard you laugh. Your voice was audible, even if it did sound like he was hearing it through a pot.
"If only he really knew...how much he truly meant to me...maybe holding back an 'I love you' wouldn't be this hard, hm?"
In the real world, the Goron sage clenched and unclenched his fist. His heart slammed in his chest at your confession. It was then he realized he was seeing and hearing all of this through his avatar, the very thing you had brought with you to keep you safe on your journey. Sensing there must be some sort of spiritual connection there, Yunobo initially rejoiced (this made it easier to communicate with you if he needed to), but then lamented once he absorbed your words. His face scrunched as he slumbered, internally remembering how he'd run away from you like a coward when his mentor had basically confessed for him.
Only now to find out...you had always felt the same.
What a fool he was.
Yunobo, taking a deep breath in his "dream", focused his attention. His thoughts centered on moving toward you, wanting to be closer to your bedside. Without a second thought needed, his avatar crept up slowly, being careful to stop just at the head of your bed. He mentally coached his next movements, and in real-time, his visage lifted its hand to your face. Its index finger found the apple of your cheek, a barely there stroke supplied to the softness of your face in a tender gesture. Longing plagued his heart as he watched through the eyes of his avatar the very person he loved most at rest. Your sleeping form was so peaceful - and yet here he was, causing a storm in that sweet heart of yours. Though his lips did not move in real life or on his specter, his voice sounded softly from the ghostly image of him,
"One day, real soon, I'll tell you, goro...and I hope you'll still love me then."
For now, he took solace in the way you hummed blissfully in your sleep - unaware of his gentle touch - but smiling all the same at how it seemed to bring you comfort.
#oooooogh this made me so tender#he longs for you dear reader#legend of zelda#legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom#tears of the kingdom#totk#loz: totk#yunobo#totk yunobo#yunobo x reader#x reader#tears of the kingdom fanfiction#totk fanfic#yunobo imagines#legend of zelda imagines#fluff#mutual pining#longing
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bittersweet in my mouth || COLIN BRIDGERTON
PT 2
PROMPT: “People warned me about you. I didn’t listen… God I wish I did.”
Requested?: No
Ship: Colin Bridgerton x reader
Warnings: AFAB pronouns, angst, colin being a cunt (please let me know if I need to add anything else!)
Summary: idk it’s just pure angst at this point
(gif by @bonniebirddoesgifs)
“Fine, she’s behind me.”
“What?”
Y/N poked her head out,
“Hi.”
“Eloise please leave.”
“No way, brother.” She stood there with her arms crossed,
“Eloise,” Y/N grabbed her shoulder, “I’ll be back soon ok? Let me just talk to him.”
Eloise nodded, and left to resume her conversation with Penelope.
Y/N just stared at Colin and shrugged,
“So? What do you want to tell me?”
“I wanted to apologise. It was unwise of me to imply that you won’t do well on the marriage market.”
Y/N let out a unladylike snort, before covering her mouth,
“You could definitely say that Colin.”
She paused, as if in thought, then turned back to face him,
“I wouldn’t have cared if the comment came from an ancient, balding lord. But it hurt because you said that Colin, you know how worried I was about me being able to attain a respectable husband. And your comment was like a dagger to my heart. And for your information, I could easily get a husband, but I’ve been holding myself back for someone, who I now see doesn’t deserve me.”
As she said this she took a step closer and closer to Colin, who simply stared at her with a dumbfounded look on his face.
“Who did you hold yourself back for?”
“You, Colin.”
“How could I hold you back? What do you- Oh.”
“Yeah Colin. I’ve waited, and waited. And every time you spoke about some other charming debutant you broke my heart. But then you would be so charming to me, touch my arm for slightly too long, and that would give me a glimmer of hope. Hope that maybe you felt the same way. And this cycle continued, and it broke me every time.”
As she finished her rant, she let out a shaky breath. She turned to walk out of the secluded area of the garden, but Colin lurched forward and grabbed her upper arm,
“Y/N wait-“
She screwed her arm out of his loose grip,
“Colin no, you can’t fix this now. You’re engaged now, remember?”
She stared at him, with a hint of fury and- a sense of hatred? As Colin opened his mouth, she spoke again,
“People warned me about you Colin. I didn’t listen and I allowed myself to be stuck in your trap. God, I wish I did listen…”
She walked out of the secluded area, leaving Colin stood there, shoulders slumped and a defeated look on his face. He wished she would look back but she didn’t. How he yearned to tell her he felt the same…
He felt a pat on the back and looked down, it was Eloise,
“Let’s get you a drink brother, you look like you need one.” He allowed himself to be pulled by her to the drinks table.
AAAAAAH OMG I FINALLY PUT OUT PART 2. i’m so sorry it’s taken so long, i literally have no excuses, but i finally finished because someone commented they were looking forward to part 2. and i’m a people pleaser what can i say 🤷🏻♀️ anyways i hope you enjoyed reading it, and once again and any constructive criticism is welcome as i did not edit this.
thank you :)
- caitlin/sage <3
taglist (cause people actually want to read it???):
@snixx2088 @pandoraneverland @scoopsahoyspidey @honeylovemoon
#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton#colin bridgerton x you#colin bridgerton x reader#colin bridgerton imagine#colin bridgerton#bridgerton one shot#eloise bridgerton#eloise x reader#eloise bridgerton x reader#penelope featherington#penelope featherington x reader
80 notes
·
View notes
Note
i remember a while back you saying in one of these asks that you didnt find classpects that interesting as a writing tool (or something similar, i don’t remember the exact wording) but you seem to be referring to them significantly more since then, both textally in godfeels and when you’ve discussed the work like in these asks - has anything changed in your perspective on them?
astute observation!
so, i don't find classpects particularly interesting as a writing tool. i'm not a big fan of mapping out a character beforehand, engaging in that sort of reverse personality quiz process of defining their wants, their needs, their astrological sign, etc. no hate to anyone who does, but for me it's far more interesting to just let the character decide that stuff for themselves. it's the same process of discovery i apply to the rest of godfeels, which is admittedly a sort of insane way to work and probably shouldn't be taken as an example.
so that's a very specific definition of "writing tool" that maybe isn't what other people are thinking of. i can get didactic about these things because i don't like writing advice or things that seem like writing advice if you squint.
you're right though that classpects are more at the front of my mind than they used to be. part of it is just that classpects are about to be a lot more actively relevant to the narrative (albeit not in the way you would expect), so i've obviously been thinking about them more. which, you know, those thoughts do naturally generate fiction activity which shapes how i intend to write future chapters-- in that sense, are classpects not a useful "writing tool" for me? i dunno.
it's not even that i find them more meaningful structurally. i think giving someone a title and then building their character around it is a great way to come up with wooden characters. in the case of the upsilon kids (who you will be meeting very soon), their classpects emerged through writing a bunch of little test scenes. i'd put them in a room together and give them something to react to. i really want to avoid conventional group dynamics with this crew, so i always pushed them to behave in messy ways. and over time it became apparent that what makes them work is their seeming incompatibility, which i shouldn't say much more about until you've actually got some material to draw your own conclusions from. but the point is, it wasn't until i got a good handle on each kid's vibe that i assigned them their classpects, and i assigned them in a way that was deliberately "underwhelming" or seemingly a bad fit. i did this because i don't like the narratological determinism that can arise when you give a character a title they like too much.
i don't like giving writing advice but i highly encourage young writers out there to not be afraid of writing unusable scenes. it helps to be able to think of the writing in the early planning stages as, in some sense, disposable. because the prose isn't the point-- it's getting to the characters as you understand them. there's so many scenes i've written that will not make it into godfeels proper without significant alteration if at all! and look, i know how it is when you feel like you can barely write, so every word you manage to get on the page is precious and needs to be preserved towards the Final Product. sometimes that's correct! precious things always emerge in this process. but it's nowhere near as many as you think, and the hard lesson is understanding the difference between precious and enjoyable. just because you enjoy the thing doesn't make it right for the story. even pretty trash belongs in the bin eventually.
but again, it isn't wasted work. the words aren't the goal, they're just a happy accident. the real work happens in your head.
uh shit anyway so for instance Dana Straten's classpect is Knight of Mind. i must admit she's an outlier among the upsilons in that i picked her classpect in the gf3 prologue with an understanding of her character that was vastly different from who she would end up becoming. back then all i knew about the upsilons was they'd be Dana, Jade's as-yet unnamed daughter, and two others. for a long time, once Julia came in and really breathed life into Dana, i was convinced that Knight of Mind was just wrong. it was a bad choice for her, it didn't make sense, she should have been something else that had cooler power implications and i should just retcon it to something better before anybody notices. this worry resulted in a lot of conversations with my collaborators, ultimately concluding that it was more fun to just play with the hand i'd unwittingly dealt us. so we took the Dana we felt and asked her what Knight of Mind meant to her, figuratively speaking. wrote some scenes, had more conversations. Julia and i have spent a LOT of time discussing Dana's whole situation.
the thing about this is that i don't think our idea of her changed all that much between when she came into her own in like march/april 2021 and when she properly entered the story in summer 2022 (god it feels like that gap should be a lot longer, but i double checked and it's right). much of what we already implicitly understood about Dana remained true. but through our discussions and test scenes, we were able to define those truths in some really useful ways. it was through this process that we textually solidified Dana as someone who doesn't have cool powers, at least not flashy ones anyway. Dana's weapon is her mind-- the ability to use her razor sharp clarity of perception to act on many different forms of knowledge at once. she's not a mind control person, she's not a seeing all eventualities person, she's just a really smart punch person. Knight of Mind, it turns out, was perfect for her, because she doesn't need it. and that realization was very much why i tried to create a similar dynamic with the rest of the upsilons.
so again we ask, does that not make classpects a useful "writing tool" for me? again i answer, i dunno. i don't really care. it's just the process to me. all of it is just the process.
maybe that points to why i was so free with referring to Rose in short as Seer of Mind in that ask. having reached the endpoint of Rose's role in this story, i finally understand what Seer of Light means for her (in godfeels, at any rate). it's that she saw the truth of how the narrative was changing and accepted that it wasn't for her. as in, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel and chose to walk towards it. it's become a shorthand for Rose, you see? i say "Seer of Light" the way i say the name of a friend who was really more of an acquaintance realistically speaking, like we only hung out a couple times a few years ago, but we hit it off so well every time that i was always like "man, i wish we could hang out all the time, we'd be great friends" but just, for one reason or another, it never quite lined up for that to happen. the name of a beloved missed connection, perhaps...
i guess, basically, to put a bow on this: i try not to think about classpects until the character in question is real enough in my mind that they define it rather than the other way around. once again i have no idea if this makes any kind of sense procedurally or if i'm just making my life harder by being stubborn. but then again, the only writing advice any writer can ever give you is how to write the things they already wrote, so
#sarahposts#godfeels#homestuck#rose lalonde#classpects#classpect analysis#seer of light#knight of mind#dana straten#writing advice#i hate writing advice#yet i give it anyway#sarah zedig the hypocrite supreme#of course there's nothing i'd rather be#except maybe financially stable enough to be able to work on godfeels full time#that'd be pretty cool i think
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to finally accept the answers I'm looking for aren't coming, at least not anytime soon. There's a chance they may someday, years from now, but I can't get my hopes up for that. I can't cling as tightly onto the possibility that I might someday be gifted the closure I'm looking for as I have been leading up to this.
None of the people involved in this have been able to help me like they have in the past. Some are hurting themsevles, and it's been so difficult seeing certain people who are usually so positive and bright lights being so sad and having so much difficulty with this. I want to help them but the hopes I previously gave them turned out to be false and idk what I can do now besides point them to accurate information and debunk incorrect stuff when needed. I want to be there for them, but the more time I spend on their content right now the more upset I get again.
Others simply can't relate and don't understand my more complicated emotions. No point in talking to them.
Then there are the ones with some...creative control in all this. They've been so nice to me, but now they've gone quiet. Or at least quieter...I know they're there, that they see what I've said. They've even engaged with some of my stuff. But they haven't even tried responding to The Big Questions. Maybe they know that whatever they say wouldn't do anything to make me feel better. It probably wouldn't, but it'd be nice to hear back. Being able to discuss this stuff with them was like my main solace when the finale came out when comparing back to Endgame when it was all I wanted from the writers and directors and now it seems more like close but no cigar. I don't wanna seem desperate; I work hard for respectability and it seems that's how I've made these connections. But I wonder if I've hurt anyone's feelings.
I did my wrap-up articles this week; this one in particular seems to have resonated with people, from what I've been told. And then my more positive-leaning Mobius one, of course. I also wanted to do one about Sylvie and how she and the other women were handled this season but decided not to until/unless more insight comes out on that (which is what I told EM). Maybe for a Marvel and feminism in 2023 retrospective at the end of the year. But it might not be wise to open my old wounds of this and Maria Hill's fridging again.
I was hoping those articles would help me, but they didn't. At least not enough. The hard truth I probably have to now face is that being part of fandom taints things for me. Because surprisingly, I've actually been able to enjoy Loki content this week...whenever it hasn't been connected to some sort of commentary. Doesn't matter if that commentary was from fans, journalists, interviews...I like this show best when everyone just lets it be what it is and then each individual holds what it means to them close. No coincidence that I've enjoyed DWTS and StarKid content a lot more now that I don't have particularly strong attachment to their respective fandoms. I used to cling to both of those communities to a toxic level...never got what I wanted out of them, and only found closure through my own doing.
I desperately want to connect with people over media, but find I best enjoy people and media separately...and that no one can give me the answers and closure I'm looking for.
#loki#sylvie#mobius#marvel#mcu#me#maria hill#secret invasion#dancing with the stars#starkid#dwts#fandom
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Caring
Billy Hargrove x f!reader
summary Just as Billy is about to ask you out, he watches another dude make a move on you. He couldn't let that happen - so he solves it in his usual way.
warnings fighting, wounds, meantions of cheating
word count 858
a/n hi..! I'm back after about 3 months :D this is actually really bad and I'm not just saying this hahah I'll maybe (hopefully) start posting more again soon and it'll he better than this too. I don't think anyone's actually reading my stuff anymore as there's barely people reading abt stranger things rn, but if you're here and reading this; thank you and enjoy!
masterlist | navigation
Gathering your stuff you messily push it in your bag, getting up to leave the stuffy classroom.
You're about to make your way out when someone grabs your shoulder quite roughly and pulls you to a halt, "Hey, (y/n)?"
You turn around with a small frown - you had no clue who this boy was or what he wanted, but he better make it quick because your brother wouldn't wait long before driving off without you.
"Huh?" You ask and step back a little as he was way too close right now. His hair was an unattractive mullet with his hair looking uneven and greasy - yet 'styled' with hair gel. He definitely was not wearing any deodorant or perfume and you wouldn't be able to spend more time than necessary with him in close proximity like this, in a packed school hallway.
"I just- uh, I was thinking about this for some time and, uh, would you go out with me?" It shocks you a little as you had never directly been asked out, since you liked to keep to yourself instead of engaging in all of the highschool typical dramatics - meaning no one except close friends really noticed you.
"Uhm, I don't really know," you're searching for an excuse to let him down softly when an arm wraps around your shoulders and the scent of cigarettes and perfume encases you. "Back off my girl, yeah?" The raspy voice grumpily says and you flush bright red - why was Billy Hargrove, whom you've had an embarrassingly big crush on since he came here, calling you 'his girl'?
Not that you minded, but in what kind of alternative universe had you landed? The guy whose name you still didn't know scoffs and crosses his arms, "I don't think she'd agree with that, dude," he cockily says and you feel the muscles in Billy's arms stiffen.
By now a few students that hadn't left yet 'sneakily' watched and you grew more uncomfortable by the second.
"Who the fuck are you to judge?" Billy steps forward and slips his arm off your shoulder and around your wrist, tugging you (surprisingly carefully) behind him. You don't hear the next exchanged sentence but it happens in a blur when they start fighting - the guy whose name you still didn't know (and didn't want to know) lying under the blonde haired boy in a matter of seconds.
You shook your head knowing intercepting likely wouldn't do anything. Sighing heavily you mumble, "Brought this upon yourself, dude," and start walking towards the exit.
It's a few seconds when a teacher interrupts the two boys and you see Billy walk off carelessly, his knuckles stained red as he brushes one through his hair.
His steps are bigger than yours and it's not long until he's walking next to you. He seems to be contemplating on what to say and while you're willing your embarrassment away you reach the exit.
Your older brother is leaning against his car with his arms crossed, hair lying perfectly (which you know it only did because he took longer getting ready than you did).
"Uhm, I gotta go now, so…" you trail off while awkwardly pointing to your ride home and Billy looks up, making short eye contact with your brother.
"Let me at least ask what I planned on asking, hm?" He chuckles and you could actually melt at that sound. "No idea why that idiot back there thought he'd be good for you but well, doesn't matter now. I wanted to ask whether you'd want to go on a date with me?" He nearly convinced you that he was confident but his hands were slightly shaking and he avoided eye contact with you.
"I would love to. As long as this isn't just for one night..?" You raise your eyebrows with the question and he shakes his head with a short laugh, "Nah, you're better than that."
You blush a little and look at your feet, quickly arranging a time and place with him. As you're turning to leave you remember something, "Thank you, by the way. I could've just turned him down myself but, yeah." He shrugs and looks away.
"He's an asshole, cheated on his last girlfriend and was proud of it, too," he scoffs and kicks a pebble away and you smile - he was a lot more caring than he let on. "Well then, thank you again. You should clean this," you say and take one of his hands in yours, eyes on the dried blood. "It'll get infected if you don't."
He looks at you and takes his hand away, "I've had worse don't worry about me, princess." You blush furiously and nod wordlessly, though there's also worry building up. "Uh, I'll go now. See you tomorrow?" He nods and winks at you before walking towards his car.
You will your mouth closed and ignore your brother's smirk when you get in the car.
#stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove#dacre montgomery#dacre montgomery x reader
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
thoughts on nona the ninth chapters twenty-four and twenty-five
PALAMEDES FUCKING TOOK THE BODY
HOLY SHIT
HE DID IT
HE COMPLETED THE NERD TO JOCK TRANSITION
we might be able to find gideon's body soon. can't wait to find out that none of this works as we expected.
maybe if ianthe read more novels about plucky youths with the power of logic she would have beaten palamedes in the mental battle
so pyrrha suspected nona was dying. honestly i've really enjoyed the way that nona is just, a kind of being that engages with life differently. aware of her own mortality in a way most humans aren't, yet enjoying every moment she can and always curious about the next moment.
damn we really might be about to find the body. key to a door, last thing left of wake, and possibly nona.
lol the blood wards are so weak they could only even kill one of nona's hands
hey it's her
got that potentially selfcest kiss in
kinda anticlimactic
is what i said until i finished the chapter what the FUCK gideon is here what the FUCK bingus bongus zinkus zonkus idk where this is going now, so maybe Nona really is just Harrow's mind in a weird state, or maybe she's Something Else, who fucking knows
let's read the next one
this is
gideon with more confidence than usual, i think, maybe, i dunno, it's been a while. i guess she kinda wasn't allowed to be outgoing during most of book 1 but idk. it's still a weird level of confidence for the situation. or not. idk.
so john just
brought gideon back
and this entire time she's just been hanging around as the daughter of big g
this makes me kind of mad, because i think how gideon and john would react to each other is super interesting and i wish we got a book that showed us more of that
but she goes by kiriona gaia now
and she's dead
but like, what
this isn't right
this is not right
the real gideon would care way more about finding harrow again
but what if she does, and this situation is just so fucking weird and i'm missing the contxt
what happened to her
she calls nona a fake nonagesimus
i'm gonna be honest, i like nona more than i like gideon and harrow, so if i have to say goodbye or fuck you to either of the OGs, i'm willing to if it means staying on team nona
gideon would not be this mean to someone as innocent as nona!!! don't tell nona to shut up!
what's going on in the river right now
kiriona wants to go to the ninth?
As emotionally frustrating as this is, I think this is probably the most interesting way to answer the mystery of finding Gideon again. That we find her, but she's not who we wanted her to be anymore. And the question of who Nona is can be something more complicated than just, Gideon or Harrow. A simpler reveal would honestly just feel flat.
her motivation being just to kill the boredom could make sense, but like... she just doesn't feel right. Where's the Gideon that cared?
But did she really ever care about anything that wasn't hot girls, fighting, and Harrow?
Is this how she always looked from the outside?
I don't think so (she wouldn't have been so mean to Nona) but they're questions worth asking. And I believe Nona that Kiriona is lying.
Maybe it's not a real Gideon. Or is intentionally corrupted in some way by John. Maybe this is all part of a big plan to sabotage the attempt to get into the tomb. Give them who they think they need, but she'll betray them.
hmm. can't take her blood. could just be a general defensive measure. or could be a way to force BoE to need to take the woman with them personally.
Honestly though, if we were building to a "not the real gideon" twist, if it was purely a fake, then it would actually try to hide it. I think that, like it or not, this is who John made his daughter into. Dick move ngl.
Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die.
damn
man this was some shit
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just to be Sure - 1/1 | [RC - 9x05]
A/N: My sort-of fix-it fic to the end of 9x05. I hope you all enjoy! Takes place right after the ep.
...
Synopsis: Post 9x05 - Barry can tell something's off after he and Iris get home.
...
Iris was able to feed off the happiness for the duration of the party, but Barry must’ve known something was off about her smile, her laughter, even the way she talked, because he brought it up to her as soon as they walked through the door of their loft hours later.
“Hey, you okay?”
His hand on her lower back, his eyes glued to her face, she knew she couldn’t hide from him.
And yet, she tried to.
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day, and I’m pregnant now, so I get tired easier, I think.”
Barry thought about that, thought about how the only thing they’d done today, since it was a Sunday, was go to the going away party for Joe, but he allowed that given how many revelations there’d been there that maybe it was aloud to be a long day.
“Do you feel any better?” he asked, concerned, even as she distanced herself to slide out of her shoes.
“Hmm?” she asked, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…before Khione told us, you were feeling lightheaded. Do you still feel lightheaded?”
“Oh.” She blinked. “No. Actually. My stomach hurts a little though. Maybe I’ll go lie down on the couch after I change clothes. Or maybe I’ll just lie in bed. It’s more comfortable there.”
She was halfway to the stairs when his concerned stare prompted him to talk again, reminding her not for the first time that they were more in tune than ever.
“You wanted to find out first, didn’t you?”
She stilled, her hand on the railing, one foot on a step. She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes glimmering.
“It’s fine, Barry. I mean, you already told me it would happen in three months, so-”
“So, you already had one person telling you when it would happen,” he said, approaching her. “And today, after you thought you had the chance to choose your future, you had another.”
She looked down at her still flat belly and felt herself well up with emotion as he covered his hand over hers on the railing.
“Iris?”
She swallowed, and her voice cracked when she spoke.
“I just wanted to tell you myself, you know? Take a test, surprise you with breakfast the next morning, and…tell you. And then together we could tell everyone else. You know, like how we did when we got engaged?” She paused. “The first time.”
She tried to smile, but it was more wistful than anything, and her eyes were shining with tears.
“That would’ve been nice.” He shared her sad smile.
“But…I wouldn’t have even thought to take a test for another month and a half, because your book said three months. Plus, with everything going on with Red Death and the rogues, it just….never occurred to me to even buy a test. I just didn’t think I could possibly be pregnant till that three-month mark, as crazy as that sounds. I don’t know why I thought that. When you change one thing in the timeline, it snowballs into all sorts of changes.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip, seeking some sort of logic into how messy her emotions were right now. She should still be celebrating. She was pregnant! Little Nora was coming, for real this time. And yet, she couldn’t stop going over the how of it all, and how it should’ve been her choice. It should’ve!
“Oh, c’mere, Iris,” she heard Barry saying, and then he was taking her into his arms, and she was collapsing into them.
His hands stroked her hair, and she was sniffling and almost sobbing, and it had come out of nowhere!
“God, I feel like I’m PMSing,” she muttered through the tears.
“Not quite.” Barry chuckled softly, making her laugh a little too.
“Won’t be doing that for a while.”
“At least nine months.”
She huffed a sigh and snuggled against his chest, letting him hold the full weight of her where they stood at the bottom of the steps.
“I have an idea,” Barry said after a while.
Iris sniffled.
“What?”
He untangled himself and tilted her face up, so he could wipe away the remaining tears.
“Why don’t we get a pregnancy test?”
Iris rolled her eyes.
“What would be the point? We already know.”
“Yeah, because Khione told us. How does she know? Is she an empath? Some other type of meta? We don’t know, and neither does she. We just took her word for it because she sounded so sure. It didn’t occur to us to get another opinion. But we really should get some solid evidence other than you feeling lightheaded, don’t you think? You can be lightheaded and have the flu.”
Iris blinked.
“We should get a test.”
She smiled slowly.
“I mean, we should find out for sure, that way we really know.”
He nodded and smiled, then kissed the corner of her lips.
“I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Literally two seconds later, Barry was back with a box of pregnancy tests in his hand and a super grin on his face.
Iris laughed, her sniffles gone, and the remaining tear tracks wiped from her face.
“Go take your test,” he encouraged, holding it out to her. “I’ll wait here.”
She smiled, taking it from him and making a beeline for the downstairs bathroom. Luckily, she’d had plenty of lemonade at the party and didn’t need to drink anything else in order to promptly pee on a stick.
After doing so, the time she had to wait felt unbearable. She kept checking her phone for the minutes to pass, but she felt very much like a speedster with how slow the seconds were going, and then at last, it was ready.
She tilted the test towards her where it sat on the counter, and an overflowing abundance of joy poured out of her, like she was finding out for the first time.
She opened the door, test in her hand, and found him standing almost on top of her as soon as the door swung open.
“Well?” he asked, looking nervous as hell, as if he didn’t already know, as if they both hadn’t before he went and got the test at the store.
She showed it to him.
“Two lines. I’m pregnant!”
His smile stretched wide across his face, and his eyes crinkled. He swept her up in his arms, careful not to spin her too fast, and when he set her down again, her smile was as wide and genuine as his was. She even giggled, overwhelmed with happiness.
“There’s the reaction I was hoping for,” he said, and his eyes were so soft and heartwarming, she didn’t know how she could possibly love this man more.
“I love you,” she said, cupping his face and bringing him down to her for a kiss.
“I love you more,” he murmured and embraced her again.
#westallen#westallen fanfiction#backtothestart02 fanfiction#just to be sure#roll credits series#roll credits#one-shot#tf 905
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
u know the last time i played rdr2 i played the epilogue and immediately lost interest in the game, and to my great disappointment i just went in and played directly from the epilogue and it's dampened my desire and engagement to play almost entirely. john marston just sucks so bad
like.
one of my favourite things about the game is hunting, and i was even like, is it the landscape? is it something about hunting in the desert where i'm just not engaging with the colours or the different behaviour?
and. no. it's not that.
it's that i want to get in and get gone as soon as possible. i'm not interested in exploring or engaging in random encounters. i don't care what john writes in his diary because he's an unlikable moron, and his view on the world is fundamentally pathetic and worthy of scorn
where arthur is grappling desperately with his desire to be a truly good man and his sense that he's unable to be so - to be honourable and loyal and also to be actually GOOD - what the fuck is john?
because if he was a fuck-up who tries, maybe i'd engage. but he isn't.
the only things he ever tries at are things abigail asks of him, and only as a kind of last straw attempt to stop her from leaving him, usually at the 6th or 7th outing of those asks. he's not intelligent. he's not curious. and most of all, he's got no LOVE for other people.
because arthur DOES. he's FASCINATED by other people. he stumbles upon some freak doing weird shit, and immediately he's INTO it - he asks questions, he just sits there and watches. half of his notes in his journal are QUESTIONS he's ruminating on
who lived here? why did someone do this? what happened here?
when we come in on arthur sitting down and staring into the middle distance, we know that he's thinking about the weird things people do, and why.
when it's john, we know he's thinking about himself. again.
and idk it's just really soured my taste for gameplay, and i know i can start a new game and i can play as arthur again, but it's just frustrating that like… i'll never be able to truly enjoy new austin because i have to do it with fucking john
20 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
tomsturridgeconfession
Like Distant Stars
severeearthquakecollectionl-blog
Untitled
poijson
On fire
taigaoftundra
taiga
xbrittbiatch
shyslut:(