Chapter Six: A Symbiotic Relationship
Recap: You might have remembered why you woke up naked in Jin's bed...but the hope you had to explore something more came to a screeching halt when you learned about Rule Five and Jin's first love. Jieun instead encouraged you to spend less time on Kim Cho-hee and more time with your family of eight, so you do just that. Oh, and you have a cleaning lady, apparently.
Tae is waiting for you with a corsage outside of your apartment. Both dressed casually and comfy, the corsage brings a note of whimsy so uniquely Tae that honestly you should have expected it. Wrist now decorated with periwinkle, thistles, and eucalyptus, you walk hand in hand to the parking garage.
When you tried solidifying plans with Tae earlier in the day, he said he wanted to surprise you, so you happily settle in and enjoy conversation with him as his driver navigates the streets of Seoul. There’s a mischievous twinkle in Tae’s eye when you pull up into an alley. You’re led through a backdoor, through the kitchen, and down a staff hallway to a secluded, closed dining room. The table is set low with seating cushions. The wood accents from the trim to the table are rustic with blackened knots and scars. It’s beautiful and you wonder if Namjoon has been here before. Your server enters with water and menus and you finally find out where you are.
Ossu Seiromushi, Jin’s brother’s restaurant. You peek over the menu at Tae who is staring back at you unabashedly. You don’t know what he’s planning, but you can’t do anything but go along with it, completely at his mercy. After your order is put in and your juices placed in front of you, the silence stretches, but it’s different than what you’re used to–the comfortable silences, the anxious silences and the silences that are too loud. This silence feels buzzy and slinky, like an animal crouched, waiting to pounce. The Tae sitting in front of you is the same Tae, but he seems different from the persona he normally projects like he has decided to set aside his hahoetal mask for a short time.
“Hello,” you murmur.
“Hi.” He seems to take the measure of you, stripping you of your own mask that you hadn't realized you had on. Though it's not like he's ripping off this protection you made for yourself, but more like he's letting you breathe unhindered for a while.
You clear your throat. “How are you?”
He settles into the cushions to consider, leaning back on his arms in a calculated way to seem casual. You know he's trying to allay your anxiety, but you're actually okay. Everyone says he's your first friend, one of the ones closest to you, if friendships were to have levels, and even with this given fact, you've never felt deceit from Tae. All of his emotions and reactions have been genuinely and sincerely broadcasted to you. You trust Tae.
“Today, I’m content. It’s a rollercoaster otherwise,” he shrugs.
“Why is that?”
His smile turns half-hearted. “Our Map of the Soul Tour got canceled. That sucks. And you'd think we would have more time to take breaks and see family, but our schedule is still going at the same pace we usually do, if not more, to make it up to Army.”
The pandemic has been difficult for many people. Even you know that the reason you rarely venture outside their condo isn't entirely to isolate and guard you, but because the world is on edge with these social distancing regulations. But social distancing for a performance group like BTS, whose relationship with fans is more intimate than most fandoms, must be agony. “I’m sorry. I know you were all really looking forward to the tour.”
“Yeah, concerts are the endgame prize for all our hard work and it got snatched away. We can’t even blame anyone. So I guess our schedule is a double edged sword to protect and distract us from depression. Idle idols are not a good thing. On the other hand, the Tour being canceled wasn’t all that bad either.”
“Because…”
“Because it means we can stay home and spend more time with you.”
“What?” That was an unexpected turn. The boys love performing. It’s the only time they can see the people they’ve inspired to move to the beat, to live life to the fullest, and to dream quietly or loudly. And Army is like a mirror in that way, inspiring the boys to make the beats, to breathe life in verse, and to accomplish their dreams. You suddenly feel like an obstacle and it doesn’t sit right with you.
Tae chews on his lip for a few seconds, assessing your stricken expression, your face an open book. "Can you handle some heavy conversation? Or do you wanna put a pin in it and we can come back to it when you have the emotional energy for it?"
You want to blurt out that you can handle it, but you respect him for considering your well-being, so you instead take a moment to actually gauge yourself. Your mind is calm, your emotions are stable, and you feel safe here with Tae. Confidently, you say, "I can handle it."
His expression is grave, but there's some pride there too, like he's proud you weren't carelessly eager.
He wets his lips, his next words deliberate and conscientious. “Your attack happened near the beginning of 2018. We were already burnt out. We hadn’t seen our families properly in over a year, and then you got hurt. It felt wrong to leave for the Love Yourself Tour while you were still in the hospital, confused and disoriented. And the hits just kept coming. Jungkook’s foot injury. Jimin’s issues with his muscles and overworked voice. We became submerged in a blue and grey fog, but that wasn't fair to Army, so we used Army as our focal point. The guiding constellation until we could be home again.
"But I still felt out of focus, like double vision. I was giving it my all, but my angel's voice would be drowned out in cresting and ebbing waves of this other voice whispering things like 'Y/N doesn't know who you are. She doesn't recognize anyone and you abandoned her. She doesn't have anyone else and she's scared and sad and panicked. And you left her. You left her line of sight.'
"And I worried. Worried that the people we left behind to care for you wouldn't know how best to quiet your brain, how best to cheer you up, how best to distract you. And as all these worries piled up, I realized I needed you to quiet my brain, cheer me up, and distract me, but you couldn't. I couldn't call you for encouragement or comfort. Like a snake biting its own tail I just went round and round in the guilt and depression. And it wasn't just me. Jin-hyung, Hobi-hyung–we wanted to leave. Not just the Tour but everything."
Tae was right to ask if you could handle this. It's a lot to take in. You're trying your best to listen, to process, because this moment is for Tae. He's been holding all of this in and steadily marching on for you. So you anchor yourself, determined to hold his ship steady.
You prompt him, "But you didn't leave."
He plays around with the condensation on his water glass. "No. We didn't leave. Yoongi-hyung convinced us to stay."
“How did he do that?”
“Eh. He said that we had more power now to advocate for ourselves in contract negotiations and more means to delegate. But the ultimate selling point was when he said you would kill us if we left," he chuckles here, melancholy lacing the velvet of it. "He said you wouldn’t want us to break up.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, Yoongi-hyung tattled on us to you during one of your 'lucid' moments and you really laid into us.”
“Good.”
Tae rolls his eyes at your satisfaction, but he shares your grin. He leans in almost conspiratorially.
“You know, you’re the reason why I’m even in BTS.”
“Bullshit. You’re in BTS because of you.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “No, seriously. I’m here because Park Haneul asked you to go with him to an audition, but you couldn’t ask off work. So, you forced me to go with him instead. It’s funny cuz’ you were oblivious that he was trying to ask you out and then I passed the audition. Actually, now that I think about it, that super sucked for him.”
You giggle, “Oh, shit, that’s horrible. Is it too late to send him an apology gift basket?”
“Eh, I don’t know if that would help or just rub him the wrong way.”
“You’re probably right," you concede. "Still, even if I got you to the audition, you did all the hard work.”
“Oh, Y/N. What people don’t tell you in this business is that you can work as hard as you want, but it all ultimately comes down to luck. I was lucky. We were lucky. Now we’re racing towards a ceiling and we can’t predict when it’ll all come crashing down.”
The humor subsides, Tae looking the youngest you've ever seen him, troubled and vulnerable. You’d do anything to erase that expression forever, but you don’t think you have the power to. You want to try though.
“Tae. It might hurt when you reach the end, but you’ve got parachutes. You’ve got people like me who are more than ready to catch you. You say it's all luck, but we are lucky to have you. Trust that we've got you. And, it’s all ultimately out of your control, so let’s just enjoy the ride.”
“Advice you could take too, you know.”
You flinch, his words stinging a bit. “You’re right,” you admit. “That was a bit careless. I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings. I just meant that I’m here for you, no matter what state I’m in. And I know you’re here for me too, that all of you are. I’ve never once felt neglected or abandoned. If anything, I would understand if you guys put me up in some hospital and went on with your lives. Seriously, you’ve gone above and beyond what any normal person would do for a friend.”
“Family, Y/N. You’re family.”
“Yes. Above and beyond what any normal person would do for family, then.”
“Well, you should know by now we aren’t normal. I adopted you when I was just a scrawny kid with ears too big for my head and you were just a bookworm who stubbornly refused to get glasses.”
“I don’t know why you’re so dead set against glasses. But fine. Let’s ask seonsaeng-nim to move you to a desk in the front,” Tae suggests. He’s sitting on your desk before class starts, drawing abstract cartoons on the desktop. There’s a little alien character saying ‘Fighting! You can do it!’ You’re gonna have to erase it before the test, but it’s still nice to have this reminder and encouragement beforehand. In turn, he’s making you draw cartoons on his shoes with markers. You decided to go with a plant theme and he giggles when you add sunglasses to a cactus.
“If I move, we wouldn’t be sitting next to each other, Tae. ”
“Aww, you love me," he coos at you.
You huff. “We have a symbiotic relationship at best.”
“So you’re saying I’m a clownfish and you’re my sea anemone.”
“Yeah, Tae, you’re a clown.”
“So zappy. Nice.” You stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his tongue out at you, crossing his eyes. It inspires you to draw googily eyes on a sunflower, earning you an approving pat on the head that you bat away. “Well, just cuz we don’t sit next to each other doesn’t mean we won’t see each other. We can make it fun! Passing notes is not a challenge when you’re literally sitting right next to me.”
“So you’re saying you don’t want to sit next to me.” You mean to say it as a joke, but a tinge of hurt manages to bleed through. He’s been pushing this idea for the past couple of days, ever since you mentioned your nearsightedness. Now, you wish you hadn't.
You know he means well, but it’s hard for you to make friends. Well, it’s not like you don’t have other friends. You could end up sitting next to Hanuel or Bora and it’d be fine. But they’re not Tae. And you’re the only one who can help him concentrate during lessons. As you’re thinking that though, you fight off the knowledge that, ultimately, Tae would be fine without you. Yes, Tae is your person, but Tae is so friendly and charismatic, he doesn’t need to stick with you.
Tae gets up with no warning, making you accidentally draw a red line through a sunflower, as well as getting a bit of ink on his khakis. Whoops. He doesn’t care though, draping himself over you and almost strangling you in the process.
Some classmates think that you’re together when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Many of them are beginning to be interested in things like kissing and sex, so they find your physical closeness suspect, but Tae has confided in you that while he doesn’t think he’d mind kissing, the idea of sex makes him nauseous, makes something wriggle and itch under his skin, so he isn’t interested, nope, no way. You, on the other hand, aren’t interested in kissing and sex because you’re barely comfortable with hugs.
You remember the first time Tae hugged you. This boy plopped himself next to you during lunch and proclaimed he was adopting you. You were particularly sensitive that day being in a new school alone, afraid people would notice that your secondhand uniform (or rather fourthhand) was frayed. That people would notice no one had dropped you off or would pick you up. Afraid they’d know you’re an orphan, something abandoned and not worthy of nice things like friendship.
Orphanages are survival of the fittest. You only get adopted if you are young and pretty or cute or handsome or charming. You know you aren't ugly. Objectively, you think you look generic. Cookie cutter. Not only that, you know you aren't charming. And while your facility tries to be fair and equal, there isn’t always enough to go around, so you often are skipped over for things like new clothes, toys, and treats and get smaller portions of meals, the caretakers citing your apparent 'independence' and 'maturity.'
But your independence is not voluntary. It's loneliness. You are not mature. You are resigned. And here was a boy who had already guessed all this, smelled it on you, and was making fun of you for it. The little hope you had for something different, for something completely your own, died.
You burst into tears and the boy panicked, stumbling over an apology and eyes wildly searching for help before he dove at you, squeezing. You immediately froze, unused to skinship, arms awkwardly hanging by your sides unsure what to do with them or where you should place your hands. No one had ever hugged you or held your hand. None of the caretakers ever tucked you in bed or comforted you after nightmares.
Like a plant, you wanted to soak it all up like water. Like sunlight. You didn’t know how you could prolong it, how to keep this or even if you were allowed to. So, you froze because maybe if you didn’t move, if you held your breath, this boy wouldn't let go.
He did eventually let go, but he stayed. He didn’t ask you questions, but he patiently waited for you to reveal parts of yourself until days, weeks, months went by and you realized he could see all of you. The world didn’t end and he continued to stay. He saw your insecurities and he built your confidence with attentive prodding and careful wheedling, drawing you into seemingly innocent arguments and discussions that emphasized the double standards you set for yourself. He saw how anxious you are and he listened to music with you, introducing you to jazz, trap, emo-rock and a healthy coping mechanism. He saw how touch starved you are and he hugged, cuddled and held your hand, wearing down your awkward hesitancy with exposure therapy. Now you grab his forearm and squeeze. He returns your squeeze bodily, the weight of him grounding you.
“I’ll always be next to you,” Tae says. “You can’t get rid of me. You’re my sea anemone, remember? I just won’t be in your direct line of sight is all.”
“Well, I’d still rather see you than the board.”
“Aww, you do love me.” You duck your head, but can’t fight the smile. His declarations of love are apparently also part of his exposure therapy. No one has ever said they love you, except Tae. You only ever read about it in books, books with passionate romance, covenants of friendship, and embers in the hearth of home. And you think you feel love for Tae too because his love feels like home.
Tae laughs and ruffles your hair. You huff in feigned annoyance, shrugging him off and smoothing out your hair. He moves back to his desk, reaching to ruffle your hair again and you bat his hand away. “Okay, so if you don’t want to move to the front then you could, I don’t know, get glasses? You know, those things people wear so they can see? Come on. You can get the round ones like Harry Potter! It’ll be magical!”
“Tae, for the last time, glasses are expensive and–they won’t turn me into a wizard,” you say breathlessly. Your eyes refocus on the present moment and the first thing you see is Tae stunned, eyes wide.
You remember him as he was in your youth and you now see this beautiful man. He really has grown into his ears. The freckles on his nose, cheek and lip are more prominent now from so many days in the sun. His eyes, though, still hold the same child-like wonder you’ve always admired. His face lights with that boxy smile, the one that holds so much joy his face can barely contain it.
“Aww, you love me,” he teases. His expression and tone is playful, but there’s a sincerity, a gravity, a note of bittersweet, a whisper of a question at the end. His words don’t encompass like a blanket or taste like strawberries. They don’t weigh you like an anchor or light you up like a firework. The words flow through you like a river, the surface running free, vibrant and frolicking, but with depths that cut paths in unexpected ways. A path that connects you to him. So you have no hesitation, no doubt when you say, “I do. I love you, Tae.”
He beams and you can’t help grinning back. You stick your tongue out at him for old time’s sake, but instead of returning the sentiment, his smile softens. “You know, that’s all we’ve ever needed. I’m in your corner and you’re in my corner. As long as we have this, then nothing else matters."
“You’re right," you nod. "I just–I just want to remember more. It’s like I have all these pieces to a puzzle, but I’ve lost the box, and every time I remember, I finally get a glimpse at the picture of what I’m supposed to make. Our experiences and memories make us who we are, Tae. I wanna complete my puzzle so I can start living my life, you know?”
“But you are living your life. No one’s puzzle is complete anyways. It’s constantly changing. We’re different from when we were twelve and we’re different than we were yesterday. So even with all that’s going on, you are allowed to be different and to change. We can make new memories. Have new experiences.”
“Still. Those memories are precious. I don’t wanna throw away the box completely.”
“Then I’ll remember for you. You can take or borrow any piece you want.”
“What if I stray too far from the original design until I’m too different for you to handle?”
His eyes issue a challenge. “I can handle it.”
You believe that. You do. It’s just–
“Plus,” Tae continues. He cocks his head at you. “No matter how many times you’ve reset, you’re still the same at your core, even if you can’t see it. You’re resilient and kind. Anxious in yourself, but fierce for others. And you still baby me.
"You know, I’m the oldest hyung in my family. I always take care of my brother and sister and all of my cousins. I’m expected to be the rock of my family, and in a way, I guess I succeeded. I worked hard to be where I am so my siblings can do whatever they want. But you were the first person to let me be me without any expectations. You let me be silly and strange. You follow my whims and encourage my weird.
“And if you hadn’t, I don’t know if I could have made it with the hyungs. I’m a hyung to Jungkookie, but without you, I wouldn’t know how to be a dongsaeng to the hyungs. To be soft so they can be hard. To let go of control so they can be in control. You gave me time to figure it out. So you can be you without any expectations. You’ve always taken the reins so I can daydream. This is your daydream now and I can take the reins.”
You’re deeply touched, and you get it. Just as you see the twelve year old him still buried in the man he is today, in the way he smiles, the dare in his eyes, he’s still just your Tae. But you lightly scoff. “Thank you for taking care of me, but you don’t fool me, Tae. You still act like an oppa, like a hyung. You take care of everyone in your wily ways. You really are our dramatic alien, but I also know that you turn it on, on purpose, for BTS to give them energy. I know you turn it on, on purpose, at home so everyone can turn off and get comfortable. I know you turn it on, on purpose, to bring out the oppas’ instincts. I know you turn it on, on purpose, so Namjoon-oppa, Jimin, and Jungkookie can be silly dongsaengs with you. You are my silly dongsaeng, but you are also my oppa, Tae.”
“Just let me take the reins, noona.”
You watch the switch happen. This conversation has been much too serious for far too long and, being called out for his ways, Tae retreats now, putting his hahoetal mask back on with that grin, his eyes twinkling in the way they do, impish and goofy, but wiser than anyone suspects. The perfect disguise for the enigma that is Kim Taehyung. And just because you know it’ll please him, you tell him, “You’re an enigma, Kim Taehyung.”
He pumps his fists in victory. “Yes! That’s all I’ve ever wanted! Wait! Does that mean I’ve peaked?! I’m too young to peak!”
You’re so fond of this man as he rambles on a mile a minute. The boy who adopted an anxious girl and a girl who was chosen by a fearless boy. A Tom Sawyer who wanted you to be his Huckleberry Finn. You know you fall short, but he’s always had enough Tom and Huck in himself that he never cares that you don’t. That’s why you will always play along wholeheartedly.
You scoff. “Oh, please. I have no doubt you’ll always find a way to top yourself.”
“Ooh, kinky. That’s what they call self-cest, right?”
“Oh, my god, Tae, are you reading fanfics?!”
“If Army didn’t want me to read their dream journals, they shouldn’t post it online.”
“But you’re asexual.”
“There are some asexual fanfics.”
“Then how do you know about self-cest?”
“Trial and error. Lots of error. Sometimes I can’t help myself, okay?”
You both laugh because if that isn’t Tae’s motto, you don’t know what is.
The rest of dinner goes much like that, tangents you can’t fathom how you found yourself on, but filled with humor nonetheless. By the end, you feel more settled than you’ve ever felt. Maybe Tae’s right. Maybe you can let him take the reins and just be the person you are right now. Figure it out as you go along.
The both of you are waiting for the bill and you’re trying your best to reenact Jieun getting caught by Bang PD-nim doing an impression of him rapping, Tae giggling manically, when a man you don’t recognize enters.
“Jung-hyung!” Tae shouts. He tackles the man as you smooth your hair down, hoping this guy didn’t catch the last bit of your reenactment of Bang PD-nim flailing because when he sat down in Jieun’s chair, it was too tall, so he pulled the lever to lower it and it shot down too fast.
The man pulls back from the hug and says, “I saw ‘Vante’ on the reservation list and had to come say hi. You know that pseudonym doesn’t fool anyone, right?”
“Yeah, I should have used Y/N’s name cuz’ she’s not as famous at all,” Tae says, pointing his thumb at you.
You sigh, but don’t take any offense to his teasing because you’re honestly grateful you’re not famous. You don’t know what you would have done if your privacy was invaded on top of all your other issues. You politely bow to the man and his lips quirk in amusement. “Y/N,” he says, startling you. “It’s been a while. I hope the dongsaengs have been behaving themselves.”
“You hope for too much,” you say with a straightface, earning you chuckle. Apparently, you have some sort of relationship with this man? You try to silently communicate your need for assistance to Tae, but he’s paying you no mind, too busy climbing the man like a tree. You don’t have to worry though because he receives your telepathy.
“Noona, Seokjung-hyung is Jin-hyung’s hyung.”
Realization dawns, Seokjung remembering that you might not remember him and you remembering that you’re at Jin’s brother’s restaurant, so this really shouldn’t surprise you.
“Aish!” Seokjung exclaims. “I’m so sorry, I forgot. I’m your Jungie-oppa. I give Jin shit. You give Jin shit. We’re the give Jin shit team.”
You like the sound of that. You can see a slight resemblance now, except he’s taller and has broader features than Jin. His easy going nature immediately sets you at ease. The charm must be genetic.
“All you need to remember is that I’m your favorite oppa,” he says with a very Jin-like wink.
“It’s just me here,” Tae says. “If you want to sow the seeds of chaos, you need to wait till the rest of the hyungs are here. Where is Jin-hyung by the way?”
“He’s at the park down the street with Areum and Byeol. Areum is my wife,” Seokjung explains to you.
“Areum and Byeol are here?! You’re saying I can hang out with all three of my favorite girls?!” Tae exclaims. He shimmies off Seokjung, nearly kneeing Seokjung in the groin.
“What about Jieun-unnie?” you ask as Tae crouches in front of you.
“Jieun-noona is a menace. A menace, I tell you! Hyungie, pay for our dinner!”
“I already did.” Seokjung rolls his eyes with no heat.
“What are you doing?” you ask incredulously. Tae remains in his crouched position and you have no idea what’s going on.
“Get on my back! You’re too slow!”
“I am not and I will not!”
“Get on my back, noona, or I’ll bridal carry you instead!”
At the very real threat, you grumble as you clamber onto his back. He’s out the door before you can adjust yourself, but you manage to call out, “It was nice to see you, Jungie-oppa! We ate well! Thank you!”
“It was nice to see you too! Kiss Byeol for me!” he calls back to you.
Tae marches you hurriedly down the alley towards where you assume the park is. It’s funny watching all the plainclothes bodyguards trying to catch up with Tae’s antics.
“Who’s Byeol?” You sputter around wisps of Tae’s hair in your nose.
“Only the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world!”
“Wow, thanks. That was some helpful information, Tae.”
“Anytime!”
The park comes into view, pathways lit, faerie lights in some trees, and a dark lake reflecting the moon. You don’t know how Tae could possibly know where Jin is in this expanse, but he marches assuredly on. It isn’t long before Jin comes into view. There’s a small deck with a few benches. He’s standing by the railing pointing at something on the lake and you hear a child-like squeal. The sound seems to spur Tae on because he’s excitedly jogging with you struggling to find a comfortable position.
“Tae, lemme off!”
“We’re almost there, you potato sack!”
“I am not a potato sack! You forced me up here!”
“Cuz’ you’re slow!”
“I am not slow! I am efficient with my energy!”
“Whatever you say, sloth lady!”
“I am not a sloth lady!”
“Okay, sloth man!”
“Tae!”
Your argument alerts Jin who turns around with wide eyes. The deck is a bit in shadow, jutting out from the path and its lights, but you think you see him panic as you both approach.
“Taehyung, what are you doing here?” Jin asks incredulously.
“I’m here to see my niece! Seokjung-hyung and Areum-noona have deprived me of her for too long! Hand her over!” Tae drops you unceremoniously and you stumble to catch your balance. When you find your equilibrium again, Tae is blowing raspberries into the belly of the most adorable giggly little girl you have ever seen. She can’t be more than two years old with pudgy cheeks and flailing miniature limbs. She has Seokjung’s eyebrows and nose, and her dark hair is short, curling at the end. This is not doing good things to your uterus, oh my god, she’s so cute! “Byeol, look who’s here!”
Tae points you out and Byeol babbles happily, reaching out to you with chubby hands. Who are you to deny this little one? Byeol settles comfortably in your arms with no fuss, her little body tucked against all your curves. She grabs your corsage, crushing some of the flowers and looks up at you with big beautiful brown eyes and long soft lashes.
“Aren’t the flowers pretty? But not as pretty as you Byeol,” you coo conversationally. You pretend to nip her cheek and she squeals in delight and you wish you could make wind chimes out of it. You are literally melting, goo, a puddle. Byeol’s nose is so cute, you don’t even try to resist eskimo kissing her, her face scrunching up toothily.
“Noona, watch this! Byeol! Who’s the best? You’re the best! Kaepjjang!”
Byeol fists a hand and then gives a thumbs up. She’s pleased when you all break into laughter. Even Jin who has been quiet all this time laughs and you want to make a windchime out of that too. It’s squeaky and hiccupy, and it is such an odd sound to come out of a handsome man, endearing in its contrast.
“Aigoo, I can’t believe she remembers what samchon Yoongi taught her. Our Byeol is so smart," Jin says.
“Yoongi-hyung is gonna be so jealous we got to see her,” Tae states gleefully.
Byeol reaches out to Jin and emits an excited squeal as Jin immediately scoops her up making airplane sounds. You pout feeling bereft of her warm, sturdy, compact body.
As Tae points out a bird to the little one, you glance around, realizing you’re missing someone. “Where’s Byeol’s eomma? Jungie-oppa said she’d be here.”
“She’s here,” Tae answers instead of Jin.
Jin huffs a sigh. “Areum-noona is just a little ways down the path. The stroller decided it was the best time to malfunction during a night stroll.”
Tae begins playing peekaboo with Byeol, so you move in closer to Jin to catch her radiant expression.
“So you met, Seokjung-hyung, huh? And now you’re here to see Areum-noona and Byeol. How fortuitous.” Jin’s tone is weird. When you glance at him, he’s giving a pointed look at Tae who easily ignores him.
You suddenly feel bad, even if this wasn’t your idea. Jin hadn’t invited you to meet his family and you blindsided him. “Sorry for intruding on your family time.”
Jin instantly turns to you, expression horrified. “No, Y/N. Don’t apologize. Tae is just annoying. I just–you could never intrude.”
“Smooth,” Tae says like a brat. Jin responds with a jab Tae isn’t quick enough to dodge. “Ow! Help! Byeol, I’m dying!”
Tae dramatically flops to the ground to the chorus of Byeol's giggles.
“Now look who’s slow, sloth man," you say as the three of you tower over him.
“I’m not a sloth man.”
“Okay, sloth lady.”
“How did I get stuck with you two on my night off?” Jin despairs. “It’s like I’m watching three babies.”
“Wow. Filicide. Way to turn this biblical. I like it!” Tae says from the ground. He gives a thumbs up and Byeol gives him one too. Oh, you could just eat her up. So cute!
Instead, you lightly elbow Jin. "I don't think you have a leg to stand on with your Mario figurines and Maplestory plushies," you tease.
"Cuz that's so much worse than a room with my face plastered all over it like a shrine." Jin smirks at your growing horror.
Oh my god. You kick Tae who "oof"s. "Tae, I told you that in confidence!"
Tae's eyes widen. "You can't remember what you ate two weeks ago, but you remember telling me that in confidence?!"
"I didn't remember, but thanks for confirming, you dog bird! And no one remembers what they ate two weeks ago!" you hiss.
"Waffles. Chapagetti. Ojingeo bokkeum."
"You made that up!"
"No, I didnt!"
"Dog bird!"
"Y/N!" Tae whines.
There's no way you'd ever volunteer that info to Jin who is now squeaking the most you’ve ever heard him squeak. Of course, Tae told him. He’s a sucker for bribes and probably traded that secret for nothing more than dumplings. Tae begs apologies to you, but you're having none of it. You're so embarrassed you could die.
Byeol reaches for Tae so Jin carefully sets her on Tae’s stomach, who immediately pulls her down to nuzzle her ruddy cheeks. Ignoring Jin’s continued amusement at your expense, you dig out your phone and start taking pictures. As you snap pictures of the two, you can’t help but think this is what Tae meant. Making new memories. Having new experiences. You feel eyes on you. Jin’s laughter has subsided, but he watches you three, content. He winks at you and you wink back.
A small woman appears beside him. “You know, the other day, I almost thought Byeol was having a stroke, but I finally figured out her weird blink was just her trying to wink. I’m kind of scared to see what she’s gonna be like as an adult with all of you influencing her,” she says wryly as she parks her stroller.
“Well, at least she has Y/N and noona, so it won’t be that bad,” Tae coos, stroking Byeol’s back.
Areum waves his flattery away, for this must be Areum. Light brown hair and fae-like with her sharp eyes and sharp nose, but soft lashes and delicate hands. You’re immediately intimidated by her, but to your surprise she pulls you in and embraces you. For such a small person, she hugs like a bear. She pulls back and gives you a once over.
“You look like you’re in one piece, so that’s good,” she says, gently brushing your hair back. “I’m Areum, Seokjung’s wife and Jin’s hyungsu. I know you don’t remember me, but if you ever need anything, like a break from those crazy boys, you just call unnie, okay? You have my number in your phone.”
Her motherly tone is warm and inviting and you can't hide the eagerness in your voice. “I don’t need a break, but I’d love to spend time with you.”
Areum exudes a quiet confidence that you wish you could emulate. It isn’t arrogant or vain, even though she’d have every right to be with her looks, but rather it’s a surety in how she holds herself. Like she knows who she is and what she brings to the table. You could do with some of that.
You’re graced with a pleased smile. “Let’s do dinner on Saturday then. We’d love to spend one on one time with you. Plus, I think Byeol would love that.”
“Me too. Let’s do it.”
“What about me?” Tae whines. “I want to spend more time with Byeol.”
Areum turns a stern look at Tae. “I know for a fact you have a GQ photoshoot that evening. There’s no way you’re getting out of it. Don’t pout. You don’t think I’ve become immune? Byeol has taught me resolve of steel.”
Tae makes a sad cry when Areum lifts a sleepy Byeol off him.
“Sorry, samchon. You can schedule a different day. I need to get oppa and this little one home and into bed. Say goodbye, Byeol.”
Byeol rubs her eyes and half-consciously waves. Your eyes catch Tae’s and you share a telepathic contemplation of kidnapping, but you’re scheming is interrupted by the sight of Jin kissing Byeol. With a sleight of hand you’re not normally capable of, you manage to take a picture in time. It’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen, and you secretly set it as your homescreen. Movement has you looking up as Areum starts moving away.
“Wait! Seokjung told me to give Byeol a kiss.” Areum pauses and kindly waits for you, her smile encouraging despite your outburst.
Byeol is already asleep in the stroller, hand clutching a blanket and mouth open in a soft o. You stroke her hair and press your lips to her soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, Byeol.”
You place your corsage next to her, petals brushing her hair. You know Tae won’t get mad at you for passing the gift on. It just feels right to do. The three of you watch Areum make her way out of the park, carefully pushing Byeol.
Your hair stands on end. Your heartbeat quickens and your body tenses, your gut clenching. You’re not sure why, until you spot people following Areum and Byeol. Your mind sounds an alarm, words like ‘stalker’, ‘sasaeng’, and ‘protect’ blaring. You move to chase after them, but Jin catches your naked wrist.
“It’s okay. Breathe, Y/N. They’re just bodyguards,” he explains. He rubs your wrist and takes a deep breath, showing you how to breathe. And now you see it, when Tae and Jin’s bodyguards nod to those people. You continue the deep, steady breaths, the ball of panic dissipating.
Tae tugs the hem of your sweater from your hand. You hadn’t even noticed you were fiddling with it. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay,” you answer weakly. You suddenly feel exhausted. Exhausted from a full day. A good day that you refuse to let the last thirty seconds ruin.
Jin shifts his hand to interlace your fingers. “Let’s go home.”
You nod and Tae loops your free arm into his, a note of whimsy in your steps as you all stroll home.
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