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#literally no braincell in sight
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i just love the pure chaos potential that this duo (anya and yuri) holds. so so much.
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keylovesstuff · 7 months
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This is something that I thought would be interesting. If Princess Peach was roaming around Marios world, and Mario showed her movies from his world, what do you think would be Princess Peaches favorite movie? :3
Bel, man, out of all the people in this fandom who come up with interesting HCs/thoughts time and time again, you ask me this!?!?! 🤭🤭🤭 I'll give it a go:
I think Peach would be mesmorized by everything that's shown on tv in general since there isn't anything like that in the mushroom kingdom. You should check out
While not a movie, I think her absolute favorite thing to see on the TV is the bros. Commercial ☺️ they're just so charismatic in, and she loves the energy.
Maybe as far as movies or shows, for that matter, she'd enjoy animated movies... everyone enjoys Disney stuff, and those are fun and colorful 😁. Maybe she could relate to certain things that princesses in those do or something like that, lol. Linking on Mobiles hard, so if you haven't yet, I say to check out, "Always Peachy in Brooklyn" by Mikibby94 on AO3, the scene of her and the bros. Watching old superhero cartoons was so fun 🥰.
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crystalkleure · 2 years
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I’ve said before that Akira is basically that “I didn’t know how to deal with having a crush on a classmate so I just wrote them a letter that said ‘Get out of my school’” post towards Zac, and he absolutely is, but Suoh is actually even more Like That towards Fubuki.
Suoh’s got whatever the homosexuality version of Cuteness Aggression is going on there.
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skzstannie · 5 months
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Hii it’s okay if you can’t but I was wondering if you could do a skz x 9th member reader where she was in a car crash as well as the others? But she was badly injured as well and had to be looked after by chan because she wasn’t in good condition? Totally okay if you can’t thanks❤️
"You're awake!"
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member!reader (Chan-centric)
genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~3,200 cw: some cussing, car accident, reader and skz get hurt
summary: ^^ see request
A/N: Hello! Not super happy with how this came out, but I hope you still like it anon! Started a new semester, so updates will be less frequent, but I'll still be lurking in everyone's feed through likes and reblogs 👀
Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!
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"I'm just saying, if penguin's could fly, I think they'd take over the world."
"Felix, literally what are you talking about?" you give him a strange look from where you're seated diagonal from him in the car.
"If penguins ever learned to fly, I think they'd try to overthrow the government in a vengeful fury."
You all sit in silence for a moment, trying to preserve the last of your braincells from deteriorating.
"Okay..." Seungmin responds, quirking his eyebrow at him.
"I am so excited for tonight!" you break the silence that settles, practically vibrating in your seat from the excitement.
"We know, you haven't stopped talking about it," Minho boredly comments, his phone lighting up his face from the shadowy back seat.
Jeongin throws an elbow in his side from where he's seated beside him, earning himself a nasty glare from the man. "Don't be mean to Ynnie, she's just excited to perform."
"I'm so sorry. Let me rephrase that," he clears his throat, setting his phone down in his lap, "Oh my gosh, I know! It's all you've talked about since this morning!" he squeaks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," you mumble, rolling your eyes at your grumpy member.
Before Minho has the chance to respond, your entire world is shaken when another car T-bones you from the right.
Time seems to slow down as the car is flipped, sending you out of your seat towards the ceiling of the car. Your seatbelt manages to control some of the damage to your head, but it slices into your neck from the pressure. Blood starts to drip out of your wound, but you don't even feel it as your hazy gaze travels over to your members.
Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes land on Felix's still body in the back seat, his eyelids draped shut. He doesn't appear to have any other injuries, but you're immediately ripped away from the sight of Felix when you hear Minho groan in pain. You Jeongin a quick once over, and upon seeing no visible injuries, keep your eyes moving. You don't miss the way Jeongin's hands are firmly grasped around Felix's forearm as he shakes the older man, trying to wake him.
It's painful to twist in your seat, but you do so anyway. Catching a glimpse of Minho, you see a jagged piece of glass protruding out of his forearm. It appears small, but you know it must still hurt like a bitch. Other than that he looks okay, so you continue to look over your remaining members. His eyes are panicked as he frantically looks over the four of you. "You guys ok?" his voice shakes with fear, and his teeth are clenched from the pain radiating from the glass in his arm.
The ringing in your ears starts to subside a bit, and the grunts coming from your right get louder. Seungmin's arm is twisted at an unnatural angle, and there's blood dripping from his left eyebrow. You can't bring yourself to answer Minho, the shock still clouding your mind.
As the rest of your senses start to come back to you, your focus remains on Seungmin as he huffs in pain. You feel a stinging sensation in your thigh, but as you slowly start to drop your head to look, you feel a shaky finger reach under your chin.
Seungmin's reached his hand out, gently pulling your chin until your eyes meet his again.
"Just keep looking at me, Yn," he whispers. You do as you're told, but the pain is worsening by the second, and your breathing starts to quicken.
All else is tuned out as your eyes remain on Seungmin's unwavering gaze.
Seconds feel like hours as you sit there in the car. Your eyelids start to become heavy, and you fuzzily catch Seungmin's eyes turn frantic as your blinks become slower and more frequent.
"Just keep your eyes open, don't fall asleep," he repeats. His word are gentle at first, but as your mind turns to mud, his voice becomes louder and urgent, almost screaming at you. You feel a rough hand grab your shoulder from behind, shaking you. Their attempts to keep you awake are futile, though, as everything becomes too much for you to handle.
"No, don't close your eyes! Stay with me!" and that's the last thing you hear before you drift off into the darkness.
~ ~ ~
You're awoken to the sound of quiet repetitive beeping.
Opening your eyes is a task all in itself, your eyelids feeling impossibly heavy.
After a moment of struggle, you're met with the bright light from a window to your right. You slowly turn your head to the side, and you see Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin all perched on the couch. It looks uncomfortable, the way all three of them are scrunched up on the little loveseat.
You let your gaze linger on them for a moment, their presence providing a calming sensation for your jumbled mind.
Suddenly, your surroundings overwhelm you. You become terribly aware of all the wires connected to you. The ECG stickers become your biggest enemy, and the IV sticking out of your hand makes you angry.
Really angry.
You groan when you try to lift your arm, a sharp, shooting pain radiating down from your shoulder. You push through the pain though, urgent to remove all these wires from your body. The bandages littering your body feel as if they're burning your skin, and you've never needed to get something off of you faster.
You begin to peel the bandages from your arms, the pain from the adhesive no match for the pain you had been feeling previous to their removal.
Your agonistic groans manage to wake Changbin, and he panics when he sees you frantically tearing at your ECG stickers.
He jumps up from the couch, earning a yelp from Hyunjin as he was using Changbin as a pillow.
You're too overwhelmed to care about their actions as you continue to tear at your skin, even the blankets covering your body feeling like burning coals on your skin.
"Woah, what are you doing? You can't take those off yet," Changbin tells you, rushing to your side to try and restrain your arms.
"They're hurting me," you mumble, wretching your arms out of Changbin's grip to continue to pull at everything that touches you.
"Yn," Hyunjin gasps, quickly standing to his feet, running over to help Changbin.
Chan awakens from the commotion, alarm bells immediately sounding in his head when he sees your panicked movements.
You become more frantic when Hyunjin grabs one of your arms from Changbin, rendering you immobile.
"Get off!" you screech, yanking on your arms as hard as you can. Chan quickly runs out of the room in search of any healthcare professional he can find.
"You're gonna hurt yourself," Hyunjin struggles against you, holding tightly onto your hand.
"Let me go!" you continue to scream like a banshee, "You're hurting me!"
Neither do as you say, fearing for what you'll do to yourself if they listen.
"You're ok," Changbin pleads, bringing one of his hands away from your arm to rest it gently on your forehead. "Please calm down, everything will be ok."
You're too panicked to notice Chan re-enter the room, a nurse trailing in behind him.
She has a shot in her hand, and she hurriedly comes up beside Changbin to administer the drug. She hastily inserts the needle into your upper arm, and it only takes seconds for your demeanor to soften. Your thrashing becomes weaker, and your shouts become quieter, turning into soft mumbles.
The guys let out a sigh upon seeing your eyes close, your stature finally relaxing into the hospital bed once again.
"What the hell was that?" Hyunjin huffs, slightly out of breath from the physical altercation.
"Sometimes patients can be violent when they wake up out of a coma. It can happen to anyone," the nurse explains, taking the chart off the wall beside the bed. "We'll get some soft restraints to put on her arms before she wakes up again. It's unlikely for her to panic again, but it's just a precaution."
The guys nod, all three of them staring at your now peaceful face.
~ ~ ~
The next time you wake up, you feel as if you're experiencing deja vu. Your eyes open slowly, and you wince at the feeling of them being crusted over from sleep.
You also become strikingly aware of the aching pain radiating from your thigh. Your leg remains immobile, and you feel the constricting cast running from your mid thigh down to your ankle.
You go to bring your hand up to rub your face, but your movements are restricted. Your attention is brought to your hands, now laying limply by your side. There are restraints covering your wrists. Your face contorts into an expression of confusion, and you glance at the couch to your right.
Seated there are Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Your deja vu hits you harder when you see them resting against one another, sleeping soundly.
"Chan," you call out to him, your voice surprisingly hoarse, your throat scratchy and raw.
He immediately jolts up, waking the other two in the process.
"Hey, you're awake," he says, getting up from the couch.
He's cautious as he walks over to you, taking slow steps to get to your bed. Changbin and Hyunjin watch from the couch, keeping their distance. Their expressions rival Chan's, somehow looking even more timid.
"Hi," you suddenly feel shy under their gazes, "Why are you looking at me like that? I can't even move; can we get these things off of me."
"Yea, sorry, the nurse said it was just precautionary. I'll go get someone to take them off of you," Hyunjin gets up from the couch, hurrying out into the hallway.
Realization dawns on you, and you bring your eyes to meet Chan's again. "Did I hurt someone? What happened?"
"You were trying to hurt yourself," a nurse enters the room, answering the question for Chan. "You were in a coma for a couple days. Sometimes, when patients wake, they can turn aggressive. Which you did, but nobody was hurt, the boys stopped you before you could do any damage."
You just nod, not entirely sure how to respond. She explains in more detail what had happened as she takes the restraints off your wrists.
"We had to sedate you, so you were out for an additional day. On the bright side, your coma allowed for your body to do some of the tough healing while you were unconscious. You had a surgery on your thigh the night you were brought in due to a compound fracture in your femur. The surgery was successful. It seems to be doing well for now, of course we'll have to bring you back in for some check-ups, but you should be good to go for now."
Your eyes widen as she goes on and on. Chan sits beside you, rubbing a hand up and down your back to help comfort you. The nurse continues about the paperwork, and leaves to gather it so you can leave.
"How are you feeling?" Changbin asks from the end of your bed.
"Overwhelmed," you answer curtly. The thought of not being able to perform for a while hurts your heart. Not only that, but you can't even walk!
Your suddenly hit with a wave of memories from the night of the accident, and your eyes water at the thought of the rest of your members who were in the car with you.
"Are the other guys alright? Where are they?" your voice is panicked as you ramble off questions.
"They're ok, we promise," Chan reassures you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "They went home a couple days ago to rest. None of them got hurt as badly as you did. They all got some stitches, Seungmin's got a broken arm, and Felix has a pretty nasty concussion, but they're ok."
You sigh in relief, allowing your head to rest on Chan's shoulder.
The nurse comes back in, a folder filled with paperwork in hand. "As soon as you fill these out, you'll be good to go! Your medications and dosages are in this little baggy. You had some lacerations on your side, but we just covered them with butterfly bandages. The stitches on your neck can be taken out at your next appointment. Just be weary of them as you go about your day, try not to turn your head too quickly," she instructs, handing over the paperwork.
Within a few minutes, everything is filled out and you've been put in a wheelchair. Chan stands behind you, wheeling you out towards the van. Hyunjin carries your crutches from beside you, and Changbin holds your medicine and the paperwork.
Getting in the car was a hassle all in itself, as your leg felt like a million pounds with the cast on it. Your hip was so sore from laying in bed for so long, so you opted to have Chan lift you into the car.
Once finally settled, you lean back against the seat and close your eyes. You don't want to admit it, but you know these next few months are going to be difficult.
~ ~ ~
It's been a few weeks now, and things have started to go back to how they were before the accident. This is the first regularly scheduled week since then, and you're grateful for the normalcy.
Your managers had put everything on hold for a while, allowing you and the rest of your members to recover some. They knew it was a difficult time for all of you, and you were thankful for their leniency.
You have been spending most of your time on the downstairs couch, lounging around in front of the T.V. Various members would join you throughout the day, helping you with whatever you needed. Chan has certainly been the most doting, running at your every beck and call.
Today was no different; Chan decided to stay home with you while the rest of the members went to dance practice. He knew it'd probably put him behind, but they weren't set to perform for a good while, so he'll just catch up a different day. Plus, he knows Minho can handle them all just fine without him there.
The two of you are lounging on the couch, watching one of your favorite T.V shows, when Chan gets up to use the bathroom.
You hear the door close, and realize now's your chance. Your stomach's been growling for the past hour, but you didn't want to make Chan make you something.
However, you are done being the world's longest lounging couch potato, so you rise to your feet, grabbing your crutches from beside you, and make your way into the kitchen.
You know you don't have long before Chan finds you, so you ravage through the fridge quickly to try and find something to eat. You see your leftovers from the other night neatly packed away, so you grab those.
You carefully set your crutches down, leaning them on the counter next to you before hopping, leftovers in hand, to the microwave.
Unfortunately, the rug in front of the sink slips beneath you, and you fall onto the ground, your leftovers opening and spilling out onto you.
"Oh for fuck's sake," you sigh. Thankfully, you're not hurt, your butt just a little sore, but some of the sauce now decorates your cast.
You hear the door fling open from down the hall, and a frantic Chan bursts into the kitchen a mere second later. "What are you doing?" he's panicked as he rushes over to you, his arms looping under yours to pull you up.
"I was just going to heat these up because I was hungry, but then I slipped. I'm fine," you lightly push Chan away from you, knowing fully well that you can stand on your own.
He looks slightly taken back by your attitude, but nevertheless moves towards you again. He wraps his arms around you in an attempt to pick you up, no doubt to carry you back into your permanent spot on the living room couch, but you give him a firmer shove this time. "Did I hurt you?" he worries, his eyebrows scrunching.
"No, I just want to walk to the bathroom myself and get cleaned up," you explain, doing your best to keep your composure.
"I can help, let me grab you a wash rag for your cast," he bends down next to you, rummaging through the cupboard.
"Chan, please," you sigh. As much as you loved being babied at first, enough is enough. "I need some time by myself. I love you guys, but I'm not sure I've had a moment alone since the accident." Your arms are crossed as he stands, a pout forming on his face.
"But we just want to help you," he says, puppy-dog eyes on full display.
"And I thank you for all you guys have done the past month, but I really need to start doing things for myself again," you reach past him, grabbing your crutches and head down the hall to your bathroom. "Now to get this sauce off me," you mumble as you push the door open with the end of your crutch.
~ ~ ~
You're laying on your bed later in the day, knee propped up on a plump pillow to help alleviate some of the pain from your aching leg, when you hear a knock on door.
You tell them to come in, and the door opens to reveal Chan. "Hi," he's timid as he walks in. He takes a seat on the edge of your bed, a guilty look on his face.
"What's up?" you ask, sliding your bookmark into the crease of your novel.
"I wanted to apologize on behalf of all of us. We've been really clingy since the accident, and we didn't realize we were overstepping."
"Chan," you sigh, adjusting yourself to sit next to him. "Please don't beat yourself up about this. Honestly, I was just a little frustrated earlier and took it out on you. You guys have helped me more than you know these last few weeks. I really don't mind all the doting."
His eyes light up at that. "Really?" his voice is giddy, and you regret that you were the cause of his sadness before.
While the overprotectiveness really did get on your nerves a bit, if it brings them that much happiness to take care of you, you suppose you can get past your grumpiness and let them do it.
"Really."
"Guys, she changed her mind!" he yells, and not even a second later, your door swings open, seven smiling faces staring back at you.
They hurry into your room, clumsily fighting each other to sit on your bed. They're still cautious of your leg, but they all manage to fit, even if a little squished.
"Don't make me regret this," you joke, ruffling Seungmin's hair from where he's laid out on your lap.
"You know you love us," Chan comments, smirking at you.
"I certainly do."
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wrinrites · 16 days
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ass o' clock - jjk
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synopsis - jungkook sets off the fire alarm at 2am and you guys sort of, kind of have a relationship now. pairing - uni student! jeongguk x uni student! reader
if there is one thing you treasure the most in this world, it is without a doubt: sleep.
due to the typical college all-nighters you pulled literally a week before seasonal exams, the forthcoming winter break had seemed like a godsend. you were firmly set on not leaving your dorm, or even your bed for the next week minimum.
unfortunately for you, karma of being a huge disappointment to your parents seemed to have caught up to you exactly then. namely in the form your flatmate, jeon jeongguk and his nightly tendencies.
you see, you have no issue with him eating instant ramen at 2am, as long as he did not disturb your slumber. what you do have a problem with, is his idiotic self setting off the smoke alarm at ass o’clock because of his spontaneous cravings.
you tried to ignore the headache-inducing blaring, burying yourself under the warm covers in vain. after a few minutes of incessant ringing, you reach two conclusions. first , that there is a possibility of a fire within the premises. second, and arguably more concerning: sleep had officially escaped you.
so much for not leaving the bed.
with a scowl on your face and a blanket draped across your reluctant form, you trudge out the confines of your room and into the shared kitchen of your corridor.
what grabs your attention immediately is not the sight of jeon jeongguk standing there next to a glaring PC screen, a game you recognise to be Overwatch still baring random quips in language you do not know. your attention is soley focused on the bowl in his hand, the blackened lump in it and the charred remains of what seemed to be the microwave emanating a copious amount of dense smoke.
you gape at him as your braincells try to piece together what has happened. a brightly coloured ramen packet clutched in his other fist catches your eyes, and suddenly you think you understand.
“did you… break the microwave trying to cook ramen?” you ask, with all the tentativeness of consoling a 5-year old.
he gulps before nodding, his fluffy hair bouncing with the miniscule movement.
you think your braincells are starting to die off before their prime. mainly because now what remained of the students on the campus were now required to assemble outside for the smoke alarm to be disabled. which meant that inevitably, you would not be sleeping for the rest of the day.
rubbing your forehead in frustration, you motion to Jeongguk to follow you out of the dorm room.
although jeongguk had been your roommate for the best part of a year, the two of you had never really gotten close. you kept the conversations to a minimum, the two of you not initiating them unless the circumstances demanded it. the awkwardness between you had stayed due to the introverted nature you had in common- so you respected the space between you and never crossed it.
other disgruntled students were already somewhat assembled outside, albeit the obvious reluctance to get up at an ungodly hour. muted whispers and annoyance quickly filed into the hall, further driving any remnants of sleep from your depraved self.
“which idiot set off the alarm?”
“it’s probably taehyung. you know he does stupid shit all the time.”
although the assumption was plausible (taehyung was notorious for following … unorthodox methods at ungodly hours), it sadly was not him who had set off the smoke alarm.
a movement from the corner of your eye breaks you from your chain of thoughts. you turn around to see jeonggukk shivering slightly, his arms wrapped around himself, curling in his body against the cool nightly breeze filling the hall.
in your barely functioning state, you feel a tug of sympathy. while you were smart enough to bring a blanket with you, jeongguk was adorned in thin sweats hardly providing him any warmth.
the guy did set off the smoke alarm by breaking the microwave though.
you sigh, before waddling off to his side and draping the blanket onto the expanse of his shoulders. you hear a squeak of surprise from your actions, and you think you spy a faint pink bleeding into his cheeks.
admittedly, it was quite cute.
the blanket, although dense, is not enough to cover the both of your forms fully, leaving your front quite exposed. you shudder from the cold, cursing your luck for leaving you like this.
should you…?
you shuffle closer to Jeongguk, using his back as protection.
it’s just to keep warm.
it’s just to keep warm.
your heart still skips a beat as you press yourself against him. he’s solid and warm and soft all at the same time and you don’t think you can take it. he even smells good, a faint scent of vanilla and clean laundry.
the both of you stand still, not daring to comment on the new arrangement. you shuffle your feet slightly, and you catch him shyly glancing at you from time to time. as the last of the students trail out from their dorms, you feel a hand tentatively brushing against yours.
surprised, you take a step back instinctively, just to step on the corner of the blanket and-
shit. you forgot that your luck wasn’t the greatest.
right before you greet the ground with your head, jeongguk (with k-drama like timing, might you add), reaches for your form, and with blood rushing to your head, he rights you back on your feet.
“are you okay, y/n?”
he doesn’t even sound the slightest bit fatigued, dammit, even though he had to lug you to your feet. but despite that, a small part of you leads you to think that there’s a tremor in his voice, betraying his concern.
wishful thinking, maybe.
“i’m okay jeongguk. sorry, i didn’t mean to make you the romcom lead today”, you half joke.
he pivots to face you fully, so that he could see you better. his doe eyes are staring into yours, with his eyebrows set in a furrow, and is that a mole on his nose?
you know his lips are forming words, you’re watching the movement, how the plush tissue rounds to form his vowels and presses together to form his m’s. his tongue peeks out at one point to wet his lips, leaving a slight sheen. you unconsciously follow his movement, licking your own lips, and briefly, you wonder how they might taste-
“-you hurt your head pretty bad, i think we should go back inside, y/n”
huh. you don’t remember hurting your head. but at the mention, suddenly you feel a dull ache near the crown of your head. groaning, you reach to massage the spot to try and alleviate it. you must have been so enamoured that you didn't even notice the pain right away.
"i'm so sorry y/n, lets please head inside, and i'll grab us some snacks and get you painkillers- i'm so sorry this is all my-"
you interrupt his apology-ramble, already having your answer in mind. his eyes are shiny and his furrow has grown deeper, and you can tell how guilty he feels. and free snacks while you're at it? you'd be a fool to deny him.
"your room or mine, jeongukk?" you ask, slight lilt in your voice. abruptly, his face changes, the pout on his lips replaced with his lips pressed together and his cheeks puff out from the process. almost as if he was suppressing something,,,?
in a hoarse whisper, so that you could barely hear him,
"that's,, what she said,,?"
the guy who you're festering a fondness for, is a dork. a major one, in fact.
you grab his hand, and tug him through the lines of grumbling students, ignoring his yelp of surprise. despite this, he only holds your hand tighter, and quickens his pace so that he is level with you. after a beat of silence,
"y/n?"
you hum in response, climbing up the stairs to your dorm. the firefighters move past you, and upon your questioning they say that all other unaffected dorms should be fine. with a grin growing on your face, you pull jeongguk forwards even more.
"are we going to yours? i mean, i don't mind all, i was just wondering if you'd like cheetos or pretzels that my mom got me- they taste really good by the way! you should try! especially if you like sweet things but if you dont then-" he cuts himself off, not noticing the fond look in your eye.
jeongguk likes to ramble. you like jeongukk rambling. and maybe, you like jeongukk himself.
earnestly, you ask, "the pretzels seem like a good idea jeongukk. bring them to my room and then, if you'd like, we can watch something?"
he brightens up immediately, the tip of his nose scrunching and crinkles appearing at the corners of his sweet, sweet eyes. with the vigour of a puppy being given a treat, he runs past you to his dorm, and just before disappearing into his room, he raises his hand to his face and-
and blows you a kiss.
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a/n - omg guys this is like, an old old fic from when i was 14 that i did work on and im so NERVOUS. this sint my best best work but i really want to get into writing and i think this is a good step forwards. also sorry for the ending hhh i couldnt figure out how to end it properly 😔😔 anyways!! i hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is helpful!! thank you again hehehe
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etherealstar-writes · 5 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 2
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pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: two
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
elton changed the name the karate kid to the imposter
elton added the REAL karate kid
the REAL karate kid
PLS 💀
you all were annoying a random
person thinking it was me LMAO
and this username ??
i mean i'm not complaining
elton
oh shut it
neev
y'all got anything in your stash?
stairway
i was gonna ask the same thing.
where's lotte when you need her?
earpsy
i don't have anything in my stash
brightness
neither
maya
i'm broke
elton
ugghh i'm so bored
you guys got any food to eat?
the REAL karate kid
i got redbull
meado
that is not food less
the REAL karate kid
says who?
kie
red bull is an energy drink.
it is made up of carbonated water, sucrose, glucose,
citric acid, taurine, sodium bicarbonate, magnesium
carbonate, caffeine, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate,
pyridoxine hci, vitamin b12, and natural and artificial flavours.
meado
thank you keira
daily
did you just copy and paste that from google?
willybum
damn i lost braincells reading that
the REAL karate kid
didn't know you had any in the first place
willybum
shut up
elton
if i drop you on a deserted island with
only redbull alessia, will you survive?
the REAL karate kid
yeah
willybum
why don't we test that out
stairway
i second that
the imposter
honestly it depends on
what you define food as
i mean literally anything could
be food if it's consumable
the REAL karate kid
thank you, my imposter!
idk who you are but i already love you
the imposter
you're welcome :))
willybum
why the hell is everyone in love with alessia??
this is not okay.
and why do i keep seeing videos
of you everywhere??
it's like you're haunting me
the REAL karate kid
sorry leah, i just can't help it
it's my charm
the imposter
so ....
does anyone feel like showing
what alessia looks like? 👀
elton
were you not taught anything
about stranger danger??!
or internet safety?!
you could be a 40 year old man
wanting to hunt us down
the imposter
BRUH
you were the one that LITERALLY
added me to this random groupchat
for all i know you could be the
one trying to do that to me
elton
hey hey hey!
don't put this back on me
that's not fair
the imposter
excuse you
your name is literally elton
i will not be taking this
you could be a stalker for all i know
shut up
elton
.....
the REAL karate kid
PLS
you actually silenced her
ILY
willybum
i think i just witnessed love on first sight-
stairway
you're not the only one-
part three here
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thelargefrye · 8 months
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GODS … mature one - shot | pt. one
pairing : emperor!san x princess!f!reader
genre : slight historical fiction, mature, dark, arranged marriage, second chance, slow burn, eventually smut
word count : 3.5k
warnings : language, blood / body gore, death / murder, hints of dismemberment, san is evil, name calling (stupid girl)
special birthday suffering tag : @sanjoongie please accept this as an early birthday present from your braincell
note : inspired by san's performance video that literally wrecked all of us. none of are safe from his power and this proved it. also this was getting a little too long so i decided to split it up into at least two parts
after your life is unrightfully taken from you, you take this second chance as a way to finally survive and make a difference for yourself. you were tired of being a prisoner and feeling unwanted.
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the dining hall was empty except for you and a few guards and servants. not another soul sitting at the long dining table despite it being able to sit twenty people easily, if not more.
it bothered you that you ate alone. every meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner was by yourself. honestly, a lot of things bother you, but you were never allowed to say what was on your mind. it bothers you that you eat alone, that you have no one to talk to, that your family willingly gave you up to some demon emperor. what bothered you the most is that your "husband" never even gave you the time of day and that you were forced to listen to the maids whisper and gossip about you.
you saw the look of pity in their eyes.
you don't want their pity. you've never wanted anything but freedom for the last three years you've been trapped in this palace.
you were supposed to marry someone who loved you. have a big ceremony and live happily ever after. instead... instead you were taken away from your family by emperor san and forced to marry him. you were a pawn to him in order to gain control over your kingdom.
a prisoner forced to spend the rest of her life trapped in a loveless marriage and life.
you do your best to push down the negative thoughts as you eat. not wanting to get choked up on tears and cry. you didn't want anyone to see you cry.
especially not these gossiping maids.
"i heard the emperor went to the brothel last night."
"again! does him and the princess not spend nights together?"
"of course not. his highness isn't interested in the princess. their quarters are on completely different sides of the palace. i'm surprised he hasn't killed her, yet."
"i am too."
you try your best to ignore them.
when you've finished eating, you get up from the lonely dining table and exit the room. the maids have their eyes casted downward as you walk past them, acting as if they hadn't just been talking about you. your personal guard, mingi, follows you down the hall.
you remember when you first arrived at the palace, san introduced you to mingi and explained how he will be your personal guard.
"don't try anything stupid, mingi has orders to kill you on sight if you do," san's words still haunt you. mingi wasn't here to protect you, but to watch over you and make sure you never tried anything stupid.
when you return to your quarters, you take your usual seat by your window. the window that overlooks most of palace's entrance and the palace wall that keeps you trapped. too high to climb and too far to even try to attempt to make a run for it. like san purposely chose this room for you as a way to mock you. to let you know that you will always be a prisoner.
still, you can't help but wonder if one day you'll be able to be free and live happily.
however, that will only remain a dream until san crushes it as well like he done to all your other dreams.
"ow," you hiss out, finger immediately coming to your lips to try and stop the small prick of blood. you guess that's what you get for getting lost in your thoughts while attempting to work on your embroider.
you look down at the small cloth with the flower design slowly being sewn into it. embroidering was the only thing that kept you sane in this prison. you're waiting for the day san takes this away from you as well.
"princess, are you alright?" a voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you look up to see one of the other guards, yeosang, coming into your room.
"i'm fine. just pricked my finger," you say and he nodded his head.
"the emperor is here to see you," he says before stepping aside to let your husband enter your room. he walks in exuding so much power and authority and you hate it. you hate him for how much control he has. you're forbidden from entering the west wing – his quarters – of the palace, yet he's allowed to come in the east wing and even your room without having to ask. you hate it.
"girl," he begins, never has he addressed you by your name. always just 'girl' or 'stupid girl' when it comes to you, like you weren't of your name let alone your title. "pack your bag, i'm sending you back to your home kingdom for a week. you'll be leaving tomorrow morning."
his words take you by surprise. you'll be... returning home? after three years of being away from your family, you'll finally get to see them?
"r-really?" you ask, standing up and completely forgetting about your pricked finger.
"what are you deaf, girl. i'm not going to repeat myself," he says with an annoyed huff and turns to leave.
"wait!" he stops in his tracks at your voice, but he doesn't turn around to look at you. "why am i going? is everything alright?"
"when did you ask so many fucking questions? be grateful i'm sending you there in the first place," he doesn't say anything else before he takes his leave. the door to your bedroom slamming shut behind him and you immediately flinch at the sound.
"are you ready, princess?" yeosang's voice catches you off guard as you look up at the palace you had been trapped inside for three years. being in the front courtyard gives you a completely different set of emotions knowing that you will be away from this place. even if it is for a week.
you asked yeosang if san was going to come, but the guard completely avoided your question. you're not surprised he's not showing up, but it still hurts nonetheless.
then something else hits you.
"where's mingi?"
"he's had some last minute orders from the emperor," yeosang says, keeping his answer vague like always. "come, princess, we have a long trip ahead of us."
you don't say anything but instead silently climb into the carriage. once you're settled inside, the carriage begins to move and you can't help but look out the window watching as you leave the palace.
you couldn't help the smile that painted your lips knowing that you were finally getting to return to your family. you knew nothing could ruin this moment, not even your ruthless husband.
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yeosang let out an exhausted breath as he ran towards the palace. the guards standing at their post immediately recognized their fellow soldier, even with his beaten and bruised body.
"yeosang!" the handsome guard recognizes the deep voice from anywhere and he immediately falls into mingi's arms. collapsing from his injuries, no longer able to stand. then mingi realized something as he and some other guards helped his friend. "where's the princess?"
yeosang looked at mingi with tearful eyes before he shook his head and mingi felt something in stomach twist.
"where's the princess, yeosang?"
"i couldn't... i couldn't– bandits ambushed us... i tried, mingi, i really did, but they–
yeosang couldn't finish his words due to how choked up he was getting, but mingi understood what his friend was trying to say.
"where is she?"
"she's in the forest," yeosang answered and mingi immediately set out on his horse with his best friend and fellow guard, yunho. the two were deep into the forest before they finally came across the carriage you had left in.
the entire carriage was destroyed, the wheels broken off and the main part crashed into a large oak tree. bodies of the driver and some others were laying, scattered around and blood was everywhere.
"mingi..." yunho is attempting to be strong as he watches his friend make his way towards the carriage door. it too had been broken and destroyed and the two guards noted how all of your luggage was gone. "those bandits took everything."
mingi ignored his friend in favor of opening the carriage door. however, instead of being met with an empty carriage, he was greeted with something worse.
"fuck!" mingi has to pull himself away from the carriage. tripping over the tree roots as he bends over and vomits. the sight in the carriage burned into his eyes even as he blinks. yunho watches his friend with concern before he's watching him breakdown and sob. tears running down his cheeks and snot running down his nose and over his chin from how hard his was sobbing. mingi's throat burned from when he threw up.
yunho looked between mingi and the carriage before taking several steps towards the carriage. mingi's voice repeating "oh god, oh god, i'm so sorry. please forgive me" is like a broken record in the background. and then yunho reaches over and opens the door and the sight within makes his whole being shake in terror.
when they arrived back to the palace, mingi carried a bag with him as they reached the throne room. san was sitting on his throne with his usually bored expression; however, mingi and yunho entering caught his attention.
"what's wrong with you two?"
"your highness," yunho begins, voice shaking as he starts to talk. however, yunho doesn't know what to say. he's at a loss for words.
"well? what the fuck is wrong you both?" san asks again, standing up and walking towards the two guards. mingi doesn't say anything except hand the bag over to him. "what is this?"
"your highness, the princess's carriage was attacked by bandits. yeosang managed to make it back, but..." yunho says, finally finding his words. he continues after a moment and at the same time san opens the bag. "the princess did not make it. we brought back... what was left of her."
the image of your body laying in the carriage burns in yunho's mind. he had never seen something as horrific before during his time as a soldier and especially done to an innocent woman like you. you did nothing wrong, just someone trapped in a situation you had no control over.
san says nothing as he looks inside the bag, letting the contents settle into his mind before he's carelessly dropping the bag onto the ground in front of his feet.
"oh well."
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you can't help the scream that rips through your throat as you thrash around your bed. your covers flying everywhere before settling either back onto your bed or in the floor. your heart is beating rapidly in your ears and your eyes scan the room around you.
you couldn't help but let out another scream as your door is thrown open and in comes mingi with a concerned look.
"what's wrong, princess?" in any other moment you would have found his voice a comfort. but in this moment, you couldn't even find the proper words. the only thing leaving your lips were sobs as tears ran down your face.
it had felt so real, you thought as you curled yourself into a ball. you felt like you had actually died. alone in that forest as those bandits... no. you don't really want to think about it anymore.
"princess y/n?" mingi speaks again earning your attention as you look at him with tear-stained cheeks and glassy eyes.
"i... i had a nightmare," you said as you wiped away your tears. you hated yourself for crying in front of someone, mingi especially. "sorry."
"ah, its alright, princess. just gave me a scare is all," he says before he's bowing his head towards you and leaving.
when the door closed behind him, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. your hands instinctively come up to your neck, feeling a slight ache course through your body. you try to push back the feeling as your stood you and made your way to your ensuite bathroom to get ready.
you remember when you first arrived how you had at least three handmaids to help you get ready, only helping you because they were afraid of san. however, once they realized san didn't care about you, they stopped doing their duty and showing up. only one continued to be loyal to you, yeri.
but then three months ago you found out that yeri only remained by your side because she wanted to try and get close to san. she knew she was a pretty woman and san went after any pretty woman. after she got what she wanted she too–
"princess y/n, what are you doing running your own bath?" the familiar feminine voice snaps you out of your thoughts. standing up from the the edge of the tub, you're surprised to see yeri standing at you bathroom door.
"what are you doing here?" you asked, a little surprised to suddenly see her in your room.
"hm? what are you talking about princess? i'm your handmaiden, i'm suppose to be here," she answers and something feels unease as seeing her settles in your stomach. something wasn't right.
you vividly remember the night you found san pinning her to the wall and her words that were meant to bring you down. "wouldn't you rather someone who could properly please you, your highness? someone much prettier than your ugly and boring wife?" you remember who she tilted her head to the side in a flirting manner, even twirling her hair as the word left her mouth a stabbed your heart.
you remember how san only smirked at her before continuing to have his way with her. right there in hallway and in the east wing – "your" wing.
you had thought she was a friend, but when you heard those words you immediately knew she wasn't. you trusted her and she betrayed that trust. she didn't care. she was like everyone else.
"here, princess, let me finish–
"stop talking," you cut her off, voice as cold as you could make it. you couldn't stand looking at her. "is this some sick and twisted joke to you?" you ask, glaring at her. yeri's face is immediately covered in confusion and she opens her mouth to say something. "get out. i don't need you to do anything for me."
"but princes–
"i said get out!" you've never raised your voice, but the longer you looked at her the more you realized that she was able to easily get what you could never have. san's attention.
you could have sworn you seen yeri's fake persona fall for a split second from your new attitude before she's turning on her feet and rushing out of the room.
you let your anger subdue before you're turning back to the tub and quickly turning off the water before it begins to overflow into the floor. because honestly that was the last thing you need right now after just waking up.
you allow the warm water engulf you and you let out a sigh as you sink into the water. your hair placed carefully on top of your head as a way to keep it dry, knowing it was going to be a pain to do if you got it wet. the ache and soreness in your body was still there all around you. your neck, wrist, arms, stomach, and legs all had a type of ache to them that you never experienced before.
maybe you should visit the palace doctor later, you think before you let your eyes close. however, once you close your eyes you are immediately brought back to your nightmare. the screams of the driver and other servants ringing in your ears, the carriage door ripping open and those bandits standing there and their swords shining despite the darkness of the night.
you suddenly open your eyes again in order to make sure you were still in your bathroom. eyes darting around the room as if those bandits would also be here. its only after several minutes does your heart rate calm down before you can even will yourself to get out the tub.
the water had grown cold.
"princess, are you alright? do you need to see the doctor?" one the maids ask when she notice you keep repeatedly rubbing your wrists and neck.
"i... i think i just slept wrong," you say in an attempt to brush her concern off.
"alright, princess, but if it gets worse please let someone know," she says and you nod and thank her before she's going back to her place with the other maids in the dining room.
"i heard she dismissed yeri this morning, yelled at her and told her to get out," one of the maid's said in a hushed whisper.
"really? that's surprising considering how much the princess liked her."
"i say yeri deserved it because of how she has been trying to sleep with the emperor."
trying? as if she hadn't done it yet? how is that possible when she did sleep with san three months ago?
the unsettling feeling reappears as you continue to think about yeri and the nightmare. something just wasn't clicking.
"excuse me," you say and one of the maids immediately come over to you.
"yes, your highness? what's wrong?"
"what... what month is it?"
"august, your highness."
"a-august?" your shocked by her answer. it was august? that was three months ago. how is this possible?
"p-princess are you alright? you look ill," her voice sounds far away as you begin to lose focus on the things around you. everything becomes blurry and you're quick to stand up. chair scraping along the floor before tipping over and falling to the floor.
you begin to walk away, ignoring the maids calling after you and even some of the guards, but you ignore them all. this was just some sick joke from all of them. from yeri, to mingi, to the maids, to san. you were supposed to be in october and spending a week with your family. not in fucking august with people who hated you.
you don't have time to comprehend anything else before your falling to your knees and passing out in the middle of the hallway.
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after you had passed out, you had woke up in your bedroom with mingi, yeosang, and the palace doctor surrounding your bed along with a young maid.
the maid was the first to notice you awake and she immediately collapsed at your bedside with tears welling up in her eyes.
"oh, princess, i'm so glad that you're awake! we were all worried sick about you!" she said and your eyes moved from between her to the two guards and then the doctor.
"how do you feel, your highness?" the doctor asked and it took you a moment before you actually answered him.
"i'm fine," you answer despite how your body still aches, you force yourself to sit up. the young maid is quick to adjust your pillows for you as you do.
"you all can leave," you add on looking at the guards and doctor. mingi and yeosang as hesitant to follow your orders, but the doctor does so before giving you instructions to take it easy for the rest of the day. he also said that he would make sure your meals are delivered to your room and that he'll come back later.
when the three males leave, you are left alone with the maid. her doe eyes looking at you with concern as she keeps a watchful eye on you. that's when her name finally comes to you.
"yunjin..." you say trailing off as you remember that she was with you in the carriage. you remember watching as the bandits grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the carriage because she tried to protect you.
"yes, ma'am? do you need anything?" she asks, voice hopeful and waiting to help you. you remember she began working for you when hongjoong – san's advisor, had found out that you had no one helping you. you know he only assigned yunjin because he took pity on you like everyone else here.
however, yunjin followed you around and listened to every order you gave her. at first you were worried that she would be like yeri, only using you to see the emperor. as if you see him on the daily. but then you learned that yunjin was a devoted servant to you.
"is it... really august?" you asked her, still not able to wrap your head around everything.
"yes, princess."
what if... oh god, what if you did actually die that night? does this mean you are given a second chance? a second chance to survive and to make sure that you and yunjin and the other servants don't die.
but how were you going to do this?
and then you hear loud cheers and noises coming from outside and you have to force your body to crawl out of bed and over to the window. then you see him.
san walking through the gates and into the courtyard, a small army of followers around him. following him around like he was some god. then it clicked inside your brain.
if you were going to survive then you would have to gain his favor. deep down you know san was probably the one behind the "bandit" attack. so getting on his good side would get him to call off the bandit attack.
you were going to win over your ruthless husband.
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network : @cultofdionysusnet
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crystcrm · 1 year
Note
i share ur struggle.. i ACHE for gepard or welt content so hopefully i could request for something like that? im js gonna throw a bunch of ideas and you can choose whichever
relationship hcs (what he’d be like, how does he show his love etc)
sleeping together (take this whichever way you want)
cooking together in the kitchen (im a whore for this stuff idk why😭)
bedroom hcs (kinks, fav positions, literally anything i need it so bad)
KISSING IN THE SNOW W GEPARD😞
anon i hope you know this ask gave me like 5000 braincells. like suddenly i am THINKING. it's so insane how one little ask full of random blurbs gave me so much life to write even just the smallest things.
literally welt and gepard are my two faves rn, i'm fr just waiting for jing yuan to come out. jing yuan my beloved <3<3
but anyway, as for this little ask, i think we'll ease into the hsr content with some fluff ( i am all due for it anyway, i have Not been writing and i also need the fluff because my god does life hit hard ) so sit tight >:)
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love and cherishing you ♡ ;; various x gn!reader headcanons
content;- sfw , fluff , headcanons list , how some hsr boys show their love for you ♡♡ , overall just really fluffy because i need toothrotting stomach ache inducing head swirling sweet fluff sometimes... , nothing about getting together but just general hcs on what they'd be like in a relationship , reader is nooooot...? the trailblazer but could possibly be interpreted as such if you squint
characters inc:- welt yang , gepard landau ( includes post-belobog arc content, not extremely spoilery but take note that i chose after the jarillo-vi conclusion to open up more opportunities >:3 )
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together with welt yang . . .
welt has lived life longer than perhaps anyone on the express, being from another world and used to living as the first ( second generation ) herrscher of reason, a herrscher that sided with humanity. he didn't expect to get sucked into another adventure, one where he'll meet many companions, see unbelievable sights or even... fall in love.
he's an old soul, yet his heart still has a grand passion for what he does. the fire within him burns, and perhaps, you stoke the flames. a motivation unlike any other to show you the wonders of the galaxy— of every world.
his love is not the most openly shown, an old man can be embarrassed sometimes. especially in the face of his family of the astral express. his affections for you are for you two only. his touches, his words, the little things that make sparks fly are all special and meant for your ears and eyes only. be it in the privacy of his room, or late nights when everyone else is fast asleep, he'll always find a way to make his love for you known when nobody else is looking.
time together with you is always time well spent. he enjoys it perhaps just a little more than going on adventures with everyone. you could be doing anything, and he wouldn't mind simply sitting in silence together with you. it's comforting, relaxing. it's moments like these where he gets to unwind with you. it's essentially a recharge— he doesn't even have to hold you ( but if you'd like that, he'd be more than happy to ).
he used to be an artist— an animation storyboard artist. his skills on paper would definitely outmatch the rest of the crew. he already likes to have his experiences captured in little drawings in his notebook. well, you happen to be one big, long lasting experience. one that he can't wait to see what more comes while experiencing it. you swear that you can catch him gazing at you every other day, and you always see his pencil moving across the papers in his book. inside are sketches of you in all your beauty, how he adores you, even complete with little notes about the things you like.
he wishes to show you the world, all there is to be seen across the entire galaxy. he will be there, to guide you, to accompany you. it's not that he doesn't trust the rest of the crew, but really, this is the closest thing to a date you've ever gotten. taking in the sights of new worlds, creating new memories together, and maybe getting tossed in a bit of trouble along the way. sure, it may be tiring or troublesome, but he wouldn't want to face it with anyone else.
those that come across him know him as welt yang, but this is the name he has inherited. he doesn't tell it often, perhaps, but at least you know him. the real him. he's not just welt to you, but also joachim. it is something he entrusted to you, who he is, who he once was, who he shall become— everything about him.
he adores you, and all your entirety. you are like a burning star in the galaxy above, one that burns with him.
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together with gepard landau . . .
gepard, captain of the silvermane guards is a busy, busy man. between his duties as captain and his daily life, he does his best to find time for you. his lack of charm is exactly what makes him charming, some may say. he's no nonsense, stubborn, "famously uncompromising" ( as his sister claims ) with an unmatched loyalty. it sounds horrendous, but perhaps that's exactly why you love him.
you tell him he should prioritise his duty first and foremost, he is an important figure in belobog, after all. and he does, he stubbornly commits to it. even if he can see in your eyes that you're hesitantly letting him go again. it's in these rare moments that he gives you a small, warming smile and a gentle embrace— he tells you that he'll do his best, for the preservation of belobog, for its people— and most importantly, you.
bothering him on patrol isn't one of your favourite activites, there are definitely more enriching things out there, but you still do it from time to time. usually, it's when the nights are a little colder and you can't seem to sleep. it's the same old thing, each and every time. he tells you you should get home, but not after a quick walk together with him. you'd chat about the little things, and he'd even shyly try to hold your hand in such a moment. after that, he personally escorts you back to your residence, and never forgetting to leave without a kiss goodnight. it may be a simple kiss on the back of your hand, or you might get up for a quick kiss on the cheek. you don't know what you do to him.
gepard doesn't strike me as a type that knows a lot in this area. he was born and raised as a noble child, and then went straight into becoming a protector of the city he grew up in. he'd feel a little flustered at a few things, the ideas and thoughts that come to him while together with you. he's even more embarrassed as he goes to his sister for advice on how to deal with such emotions. he reads books, fiction of romance that he does best to turn into your reality. it's not perfect— he's still clueless on what's a really good date— but he's always trying harder just for you.
it's not often that he gets free time, but once he does, he's quick to seek you out... after his sister of course. for many good reasons, actually. other than the usual check in with his sister he loves so dearly, she is more helpful than most others despite her teasing. serval is a big source of support in his relationship with you, not to say you two can't handle it yourselves. he's just rather clueless about love as a whole sometimes, and she's there to give him a little nudge in the right direction. thanks to her, gepard brought you flowers once, and he does it every so often.
never underestimate the lengths he'd go for you. he may be constantly out there in the front lines trying to combat the antimatter legion and the fragmentum, and he may be busy with training the guards or some other silvermane business, but he would always keep you in mind. you're part of his motivation, and you've grown to be the biggest part of it. you could tell him it's nothing important, if you ask for something, like a favour or likewise, but because it's you, he'll put it right at the top of his priorities. you are his priority.
dates are difficult, especially when you're captain of the guards. walking around with him attracts more attention than any other thing, but it doesn't stop him from inviting you out. the luxuries of belobog would be easy for him to indulge in, as a landau and as captain, but truly, simply spending time with him is enough. your favourite dates are ones where you freely walk aimlessly in the day, perhaps after a bite to eat. fresh snowfall is light upon the city streets, unlike the eternal freeze. you find it hard to resist temptation, letting yourself be swept off your feet for a sweet kiss in the everlasting winter snow.
gepard landau has an immense lack of charm. he's stubborn, he's uncompromising, and maybe even a little dense or a little blunt. but the brighter side of these qualities always show around you. he'll find a way to see you, and he won't rest until he has. his lack of knowledge in this department has him cutely flustered from time to time, but also has him doing unknowingly romantic things. he loves you, and he wants you to know that.
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
Text
Monster Mayhem: Donkeys & Dragons [PART 4]
Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 6.7k
Summary: 'Never tickle a sleeping dragon.'
🌶️Obligatory Warning for Some Descriptions of Violence & Mild Suggestive Content
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [EPILOGUE]
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As detestable as they were, at the very least your assailants were well organized.
You were plopped neatly at the center of the room, in a very conspicuous location that would have made it difficult for a hypothetical someone to, say, just flat-out torch everything in sight without also catching his very tiny, mortal, companion up in said firestorm.
The group of them split off to tend to their tasks with a frankly shocking level of competence and foresight. Was this how adventurers were actually supposed to work? They didn’t just—I don’t know—saunter into an abandoned castle on a whim and a prayer, with no real end goal in sight and nothing but the perpetual bounding of a singular, shared, braincell to keep them on their toes? There was a plan? What was this madness.
“How much time do you think we have?” one of them called, busy working to set up some sort of wire trap that, in your humble ‘I have faced this legendary dragon and survived’ opinion, looked like it would do exactly diddly squat.
“Enough,” the Elf Wizard shrugged, thin arms crossed tight across his equally gaunt chest. “These vermin don’t have the same concept of time as we do. It may return soon, but we may also be waiting hours.”
Hours? Hours? You fought the urge to groan. And then remembered it hardly mattered if you did or not, because you were still trapped in a bubble of perpetual Silence, and that just made you want to groan louder.
Assumed-Rogue nodded tersely in response and continued constructing his pseudo-trap. The long, red, stripes of his sleeves were odd things—very in-your-face bold for a dude whose job you assumed it was to slip through shadows unseen. But then you noticed that the threads he was spinning were pooling from those slashes of crimson, and alright, that was fairly cool. ‘Your failure of a stealthy design gets a pass this time, good sir.’
“You’re certain this is one of the Briar Beasts, Lord Flamm?” Armored Lady piped in, busy shifting through the various swords strapped at her hip.
“Of course,” he hummed, flicking through his spell tome. “Have I ever led you astray before?”
Armored Dude snorted from his place across the room. “You’re not the issue. I just have trouble believing one of those monsters would still be alive at all after all this time.”
‘Lord Flamm’ snorted. “And why not? They’re like cockroaches—thriving through the worst of the world and gorging themselves on its corruption. This one is no different.”
Your brows twitched irritably.
Thankfully, Silence was not an indefinite spell. And after about ten minutes of muzzled misery, you felt its sticky, gauzy, gunk wash itself out of your throat.  
“I’m getting the impression that you’re really not a fan of dragons,” you said, testing your volume.
Lord Flamm stared down at you with a hawk-eyed sort of sneer. His pale, green, glare felt like a tangible thing crawling along your skin.
“They are unnatural,” he huffed after a moment. “No creature should walk the planes of this world for such a great span of time. Immortality is a perverse transgression against the sanctities of life and existence.”
“You are literally an Elf,” you replied, incredulous. His face scrunched up like you’d forced a whole lemon into his mouth, and then he dropped another dome of Silence over your head.
Another ten minutes crawled by, and words returned to your tongue.
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit hypocritical?” you hummed, casually testing the arcane restraints binding your limbs. Those seemed to hold themselves in place with a great deal more fortitude than his on-again-off-again Mute Button, which was as frustrating as it was respectable.
“It’s not nearly the same. I was born into my burden,” he sniffed.
You blinked, confused. “I mean, so was Tsunotarou.”
Elf Wizard made a punched-out sort of noise, like you’d decked him right in the spleen.
“You named the beast?” he gawked. “Like a pet?”
“Look, man,” you grouched, offended on your scaly friend’s behalf. “If anyone’s the pet here, it’s me!”
Lord Flamm’s face went white, to red, and then nearly puce.
“Wait,” you spluttered. “That came out wrong—”
And then you were gagged once more.
The next time your muzzle was lifted, Lord Flamm was already pacing along the little, invisible, edge of the spell’s cage. You cleared your throat and he came to a stop a few feet away from where you were bound.
“I can see what’s happened here,” he said, stern, and you arched a brow in disbelief. You didn’t even have any solid idea what the fuck was going on, and you’d been living it for the past few weeks. He cleared his throat and glowered down at you. “You’ve been taken in by the monster’s wiles.”
You spluttered. “Not to just keep repeating myself, but really, if anyone did the ‘accidental seducing’ thing here, it was—”
He waved you off with a puckered grimace. “That hardly matters. At the end of the day, you are still the creature’s prisoner, and it is my duty as a man of integrity to assist you however I can.”
You frowned. Because while this whole thing had technically started as a hostage situation, it hadn’t really felt like one lately. Sure, Tsunotarou still threw tantrums that shook the foundation when you’d tried to put up a makeshift bathroom door, but he also listened to all your stories with the rapt attention of someone genuinely invested in the garbage pouring out of your mouth. He tucked you into your big mattress nest at night with his scaly nose, and endured all your griping with nothing but good humor. He showed you his treasures and told you terrible, dry, jokes that you were sure you only found so funny because he certainly hadn’t meant to be.
You sighed and dipped your head, expression shuttered.
Lord Flamm stepped forward and you felt a thin, gloved, finger tuck itself beneath your chin to tilt you back up to face him.
“I will save you,” he promised, something genuinely sturdy and righteous coating the words. “If you ask it of me.”
You took a deep breath in through your nose.
“There once a man from Trebucket,” you chirped, letting the jaunty tavern melody roll off your tongue like any good Bard ought to.
Lord Flamm arched a thin brow, in equal parts amusement and exasperation.
“Who really only wanted to find the dragon so he could fuck it—”
His face twisted in rage, and to the surprise of literally no one, you were Silenced yet again. Though this one felt the most like a victory so far.
And thus, the cycle repeated itself. Every quarter hour or so, the spell would drop and you’d start babbling some sacrilegious, borderline pornographic, nonsense that had him cursing you all over again. You counted each round of mockery softly in your head. Half to keep time, half to—
Your gaze trailed past the intricate, stone, entryway and caught. Perched atop the overhang were two gargoyles. Which was quite odd, seeing as you’d spent half a month living out of this room now and had never noticed them before (and you certainly would have, what with your host’s propensity for pointing out the gothic carvings each and every time one popped up in the castle’s architecture). Not to mention, they looked an awful lot like the pair of grey monsters which had been guarding the entrance when you’d first slunk in—the very duo that you’d sworn had tracked you and your friends with beady, gemstone, eyes and dug their pointed talons through solid rock.   
Ancient buildings always seemed to have a life about them—never quiet, never still. Always settling with strange noises and shifting shadows that danced oddly along surfaces that were forever decaying. And this castle was no different. So it took you really listening, really closing your eyes tight and straining your ears against the perpetual white noise, to make out the low grinding of the Gargoyles as they shifted atop their perch and curled their sharp claws.
You tilted your head at them, curious, and the one on the left seemed to bristle. As much as stone could bristle. The one on the right very softly dipped its chin, almost like a bow. Its purple, glass, eyes flashed in the lowlight.
‘Wait,’ that look said.
And so you did, sitting straighter and at proper attention.
The group of Dragon Slayers was still milling about making preparations. Eventually, one of the two yet-unclassified hench people slunk from the room, and when your gaze slipped back to the gargoyles, the one on the right was gone.
You made eye contact with the remaining carving, and it curled its lip at you like a grumbly hound.
There was a scream from beyond the threshold, and then a great clattering of noise not unlike an earthquake, or the resonating crunch of a building crumbling at its base.
Immediately weapons were drawn, shoulders hunched in panic. Defensive magic swirled through the air like ink in water.  
“What’s going on?!—”
With a shrieking roar, the remaining gargoyle lurched forward and collided with one of the armored attackers. The impact was like a crack of thunder, and it rattled around your skull like a gong.
And with that—dragon or no—the battle against the Hunters had officially begun.
With a panicked squawk, you began worming your still very bound self out of the dead center of this tornado of chaos. You flopped across the floor like a particularly determined caterpillar, or someone trussed up a in a sleeping bag with no limbs. You made it almost a solid twenty feet before you were scooped up by the back of your collar and dropped onto your knees.  
“Not so fast, you little cretin.”
And then there was a curved knife at your throat and a set of hands trapping your own. You gulped and the blade bobbed against your chin. Stupid rogues with their stupid stealth. You grit your teeth and clenched your fists, willing the meager scraps of magic that twirled in your veins to bob to the surface. You could feel the trace rumblings of a Thunderwave reverberating down your limbs, and it was certainly no Fireball, or Lightning Bolt, but maybe it would be enough to—
There was a spray of red, red, red and the Striped Rogue at your back collapsed in a puddle of gore.
Standing over the corpse of the felled assassin was a boy. Or, well, something that very much looked like a young boy. Or, not young. Just… It was strange. He was small, slight, with a cheerful youthfulness to him. But the mirthful expression lighting his crimson eyes chilled your bones like the seeping cold from a long-forgotten tomb. It was like looking at someone with dozens—hundreds—of faces. A kaleidoscope of lifetimes. It was disorientating.
“Hello, you,” the little demon cooed. He reached out to tap a clawed finger against your forehead and the arcane binds holding your limbs shattered on impact. “Let’s get you out of here, hmm?”
Something tugged at your brain as you gaped at that mess of choppy, black-and-pink, hair, and the glittering irises that matched the blood splattered across his cheeks almost too horribly well.
“Are you… Lilia?” you asked, dazed.
“Well done, little human,” he trilled, lips curling in delight as he hauled you back to your feet. “But there will be time for proper introductions later. Let’s get you somewhere safe first, before my silly ward really does tear this whole castle down.”
“Tsunotarou is here?” you frowned, anxious. “But these people are here to kill him.”
“We’ve done our best to keep him away for as long as possible,” Lilia hummed. “But I doubt he has much more patience for skulking about in the shadows. He never did,” He sighed, long and world weary. “And I loved this old haunt so much too. I hope it survives.”
“You—” you gawked. “You’re talking about the castle?!”
“Of course,” Lilia smiled, perfectly sweet. “Swatting these pests is going to cause more damage than they’re worth to begin with—”
You were yanked out of the path of an encroaching blade, and Lilia sidestepped the pair of you smoothly to safety.
“You’re not going anywhere!” the Paladin thundered, hand whipping out to leash a whirl of vibrating, bright, magic around Lilia’s wrists. “This fight is mine! And you will have no other!”
“Ah,” your savior sighed, looking down at the faint, yellow, glow circling his skin. “Now that is a doozy.”
The great sword came down with a crash, and Lilia ducked away from the destruction with ease. He gave you a light tap on the shoulder, pushing you forward, and you felt the flush of a Haste spell nibbling at your limbs.
“Go on ahead,” he said, with all the nonchalant politeness of someone lamenting that they were going to be late for afternoon tea. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”
BOOM went the now glowing sword as it sliced through the air where your savior had been standing not a moment before.
“Do not take me so lightly, wretch,” the Paladin spat, and Lilia’s civil little smile twisted into something that sent shivers racing down your spine.
“If you insist,” he beamed, with a level of enthusiasm that was bordering on sociopathic.
You didn’t stay to see the fallout. Lilia’s orders to flee aside, you knew well enough what a cat looked like before it pounced—that smug, animalistic, satisfaction that came after deciding that it was going to play with its meal for as long as it liked. And the grinding, snapping, howling noises coming from their direction was enough to reinforce that looking back would be a very terrible idea indeed.
You’d only just made it past the threshold and out in the grand hall beyond when there came a whining groan that sounded familiarly enough like the protesting noises the banister would make whenever Tsunotarou dropped too much of his weight on top of it. You peered back into the room, and from the darkness at its rear emerged a long, thin, snout.
The Great, Ebony, Dragon slithered forth from the blackness like a snake through the grass. The sharp drag of his claws against the stone was earsplitting, and when he spread his wings behind him, he seemed to cast the entire cavern into shadow. Faster than you could blink, one, two, three of the Slayers were scooped up by those massive, pointed, teeth and tossed through the air—wherein the pair of gargoyles descended upon them like a set of well-trained attack dogs. Your dragon swiveled to spit black smoke across the rest of the echoing room and its occupants. Between the swirling smog seeping from his throat and the blackness of his wings, the brilliant, green, glow of his eyes were the only source of light in the gloom. It was all horribly eerie, but mesmerizing in a way that reminded you exactly why so many ballads and epics had been written about the terrible might of Dragons.
He reared his head back and roared. His bellowing seemed to shake the very foundation of the castle, and the sparks jumping from behind his canines bit through the smoke with harsh little pop-pop-pops. And man oh man, he reallymust have been taking it easy on you and your duo of idiots, because this would have had the three of you shitting your pants on the spot.
From there, the battle more or less became a one-sided massacre. The stone soldiers flew through the air, decimating the opponents as their master demanded. Occasionally there was a flash of pink, and then a cheerful laugh followed inevitably by a noise that was all kinds of unpleasant. And at the center of it all was your newfound friend—picking apart the opposition with all the careful rage of someone determined to sear the consequences of these Hunters’ folly into the memories of their lineages for ages to come.
And then—amidst all the quite frankly epic fighting that you would have to tell Ace and Deuce all about when they came back to visit—you noticed that not far from where you were hiding observing was a familiar, angry, gaunt face. Lord Flamm’s elaborate black and maroon robes swirled around his ankles as he paced, and he was leering at the chaos unfolding not a hundred feet away with an expression that calling murderous would have been kind.
You bristled immediately, limbs lancing through with a tight sort of indignation.
He was just—right there! Standing all the way out here! When the rest of his party was busy being chewed to itty-bitty pieces!
And sure, rationally you knew that Wizards were squishy, glass-canons not meant for close combat more intense than a round of rock-paper-scissors. Sure, when you and your idiots had been facing down a dragon, Ace and Deuce had ordered you and your equally ill-armored self to run for it. Someone had probably hurled the Elf from the room the moment combat began, or demanded he whirl away to safety.
But you wanted to be angry. Because this was the man who had strode, eyes wide open, into a hornet’s nest with the sole intention of crushing the poor bugs beneath his heel. He deserved to bear the brunt of the miserable, stinging, backlash.
It certainly didn’t help that he was glaring down Tsunotarou with near frenzied loathing. The tome in his hands was flipped open to a dense spell that you couldn’t even begin to make sense of, and he was casting. Something tedious, and extravagant, and with enough somatic nonsense to make your head spin. His gloved fingers glowed beneath a growing mote of magic that shone horrible and bright in the natural shadows of the castle. Whatever sort of magic it was, it was strong enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end and push frantic adrenaline through your veins. Sigils swam through the air, and you swore you could feel it sapping at your own tiny pool of mana. If this was some kind of spell that would gobble up magic, then a dragon who was nothing but magic—then Tsunotarou—he would—This spell might actually—
You ran at that wretched little bitch with everything you had, and tackled him to the ground just as a bolt of crackling, pale, force magic boomed from between his fingers. The spell shot wide, and you thanked every divine being you could think of for the enduring shittiness of Wizard Muscles.
“I should have known you’d risk your life to save that unholy monster,” he seethed, rolling back to his feet and sending you tumbling off the side.
You stood firm and silent between this awful, garbage, Elf and the Dragon he so hated.
Lord Flamm raised a hand in your direction, incensed, and then you watched as something sharp and frightened slithered its way across his features. No sparks danced along his fingertips, no black miasma curled from his palms. You shoved your hands into your pockets and rocked back and forth on your heels like the most obnoxious piece of shit you could be.
“Wow,” you drawled, low in your throat. “That was impressive. I mean. How many times did you cast all those spells on me earlier? I’m shocked you have anything left.”
The already dark look coloring his face twitched into something truly foul.
“You were doing that on purpose,” he snarled. “You vile, loathsome, bumbling ignoramus of a bard!—"
“Ah, stop, stop!” You beamed, fanning yourself with a limp wrist. “You’re going to make me blush~”
You ducked out the way with a yelp as a mote of fire whizzed past your ear—singeing far too many hairs at it went. Because fuck fuck fuck. Cantrips were still a thing. And he was powerful enough that those simple, little, bits of magic would still probably be more than enough to fry the meat off your bones.
“It’ll be enough to kill you,” he seethed—like he could read your thoughts—teeth tugged into a hideous, gaping, sneer.
Your mind zipped through every possible escape route and settled frantically on the only option that had ever truly seemed to save your ass.
“What white teeth you have?” you tried.
He roared and another shot of brilliant, red, flames careened over your head.  
You ducked out of the way with a squawk just in the nick of time, nearly faceplanting into a wall in your haste.
And thus ensued a terrifying but morbidly hilarious Benny Hill chase through pillars, and behind rocks, and into holes. You killed your singular, daily use of Misty Step just trying to get out of one of said holes. And your brief attempt at tossing up a Mirror Image to throw off his groove did little but get you whacked with a Counterspell that made your bones ache.
Just as you’d burned through the last of your meager magic and were genuinely preparing to just try and deck the guy again, black smoke began to curl through the hall—soon followed by the ominous roll of thunderous growls and the heavy grindingof a gigantic beast clawing its way into the room.
You threw yourself at the dragon with more enthusiasm than was probably proper for a situation like this, and he immediately ducked his head to catch you against his snout. He curled himself around you with a rumbling snarl and your vision was drowned in a shifting sea of ebony scales. You squished yourself into his bulk with a shuddering sigh, fingers clutching a bit uselessly at the slippery surface of his natural armor.
A burst of orange flames rolled harmlessly off Tsunotarou’s scaled side and his lips curled unpleasantly over his canines. You could see the licks of emerald fire rolling off his tongue—dancing along his white teeth and lighting the hall in an ominous, sickly, glow.
Before the pair of you, Lord Flamm looked half-mad. If not fully consumed. His party wiped, his hostage freed, and the creature he hated so fiercely baring down on him with no escape.
He let his head fall back with a discordant trill of laughter and grinned at the approaching dragon without a hint of repentance. Fear, perhaps. Panic, certainly. But no remorse. He raised his hands once more, and another dredge of his own fire sparked along his fingers.
“And he shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit.”
The Great Briar Beast of Old opened his gigantic, black, maw and choked the hall in a torrent of emerald fire.
And Lord Flamm and his Dragon Slayers were no more.
You stared intently at the singed corridor, as if waiting for one of the piles of ash to jump to its feet and pull a sword. Which you might have excused as paranoid fretting if you hadn’t heard of necrotic magics capable of doing exactly that. But after a long moment of waiting with bated breath and tight fists, the monsters did not rise from their graves, and all seemed to be truly well and over.
You let out a gigantic gust of a breath and collapsed bonelessly against the dragon at your side. After a solid minute or two of just awkwardly trying to find a good way to hug a giant lizard more than a dozen times your size, Tsunotarou slipped out of his scales, and then he was warm and fleshy in your arms once more. Still too big, still earth-shatteringly strong, but human-shapedenough that you could merrily settle into his embrace without the risk of becoming a pancake.
“Tsunotarou!” you chirped past the lingering haze of smoke. “You’re okay!”
“Me?” he gawked at you. It was an awkward angle to make eye contact, seeing as he’d latched himself onto you like a particularly determined koala, but he managed nonetheless. “You were worried about me during all of that?” He blinked those wide, neon, eyes at you like you were some horribly long and tedious math equation that he couldn’t even begin to make sense of. “You were the one who was captured!”
“They were Dragon Slayers,” you entreated, brow furrowed. “They didn’t need me for much of anything. Of course I was worried more about you.”
When the constipated look on his face refused to fade, you prodded him gently in his side.
“Look, I promise if we ever run into Bard Poachers I will be exponentially more cautious.”
He didn’t look particularly convinced—whether because he was trying to suss out of if something like ‘Bard Poachers’ were an actual, factual, threat upon your person, or because you’d just openly hurtled yourself at a clearly overpowered, feral, wizard with no regards to your already shitty constitution to speak of, so a promise to ‘be more cautious’ was about as good as saying that maybe next time you wouldn’t outright flirt with death. Only subtly. A lil’ bit.
You reached up to smoosh your thumb along the sharp slant of his frown and smooth out the harsh edges that were practically digging into his jaw.
“Tsunotarou, if you keep making that face, it’s going to get stuck like that,” you warned.  
“Malleus,” he interrupted, firm. You blinked up at him slowly and your hand fell back to rest in the nonexistent space between you.
“A what?”
“Malleus,” he repeated, and you felt the weight of the word dance through the air like sparks. Like an invocation, or a curse. “My true name.”
You waited a moment in shocked silence before slowly repeating your own name back at him. He startled and snorted a laugh into your neck, some of that lingering, terrible, tension finally seeming to seep out of him.
“I am well aware of what you are called, Child of Man.”
“…I know that,” you mumbled, fighting the urge to fidget. Malleus, Malleus, Malleus. The syllables sat heavy on your tongue, like your mouth couldn’t figure out how to push them past your lips. “I thought you said that dragons don’t give out their real names.”
He drew back just enough to cup your cheeks in his ashy palms, brushing a clawed finger back and forth against one of the small cuts littering your jaw.
“There is power in a name,” he said. “It is not a gift readily bestowed.”
Then why—
You swallowed, nervous, and one of his thumbs tracked the movement along the hollow of your throat.
“This way, if you call for me, I will always hear you,” he promised, eyes going flinty and venomous as he gazed at the cinder piles of smoking intruders. “And something like this will never happen again.”
“I—I mean,” you spluttered. “Me being—And this being—I mean—” You cleared your throat. “That hardly seems like a good enough reason to—to—” To put something so important into the hands of someone who literally broke into your house less than a month ago. To give something so precious to someone so human.
“Isn’t it?” he smiled, that sharp anger melting back into something painfully soft. Your poor heart kickstarted itself all over again. He ducked forward to press his nose into your temple, and you could feel the soft puff of his breath as his grin sharpened into a smirk. “Though I would have liked to bestow my titles on you in other ways as well, if this little hero would be amenable.”
You squawked, and the only thing that shook you out of the immediate spiral into ‘did he really just ask me to—am I really going to be stuck in every goddamn bard’s trope existence of—of—'  was the merry laughter that bubbled up from somewhere behind you. 
“Careful, my Prince,” Lilia hummed from his place perched atop a particularly large heap of rubble. “If you come on too strong, you’ll only scare them away. Humans are flighty like that, I’m afraid.”
You could feel Malleus’s pout against your forehead.
“Not my human,” he grouched. His hands dropped from your cheeks to encircle your waist and clutch at your lower back. “And that besides,” he continued testily, “you were the one who only just this morning insisted I take decisive action.”
“That’s true,” Lilia agreed with a gentle bob of his head, resting his pointed chin against his palm. “But perhaps three sentences at least before the proposal?”
Malleus blinked, slow and serpentine, before flicking his neon gaze back to you. “That does seem fair I suppose. What do you think?”
“I think,” you gawked, trying and failing to process any of the words that were coming out of their fanged mouths, “that I am having a stroke.”
“NOT ACCEPTABLE!” boomed a voice from overhead. “YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FALL ILL AFTER ALL THE EFFORTS WE TOOK TO KEEP YOU SAFE!”
You jolted in shock, and Malleus’s talons flexed reassuringly at your waist as he gently turned you back-to-chest so that you could face your accuser. He nestled his chin into your shoulder, and you could feel his horns bump against your skull as he tried to burrow in as close as possible. Which all would have been thoroughly distracting, but then you noticed that one of the Gargoyles from early had landed directly across from you. Its spiked head was swiveling back and forth as it appraised you like some particularly ruffled cockatoo. And that in itself was bizarre enough to help you focus on something other than the weight along your back and the steadily rising heat in your cheeks.
“Uhm, hello?” you tried.
“WE HAVE ALREADY MET!” It screeched. “THERE IS NO NEED FOR INTRODUCTIONS!”
“It talks,” you blanched.
“OF COURSE I SPEAK, YOU IGNORANT ENTERTAINER!” The Gargoyle thundered. Its yellow eyes flashed in indignation. “HOW COULD I NOT LEARN TO COMMUNICATE IN A RESPECTABLE FASHION WHEN SERVING SOMEONE SO MAJESTIC AS HIS MAJESTY?!”
“I think,” the other Gargoyle said, slipping forward so silently you could hardly believe it was made of such strong stone at all, “that what Sebek is trying to say, is that we are happy to finally be able welcome you into our home, even if it is under less than ideal circumstances. And that we are very pleased to be able to speak with you.”
“THAT IS WHAT I ALREADY SAID, SILVER!” the spiky one snarled. No one else looked particularly bothered by his ceaseless volume, so it was probably normal. He stuck his carved nose into the air with a harumph. “AND I HAVE HEARD OF THE WAYS OF YOU TRAVELING STORY TELLERS! IF YOU BREAK MY MASTER’S HEART, YOU WILL SUFFER AN ETERNITY OF TORMENT AT MY HAND!”
Malleus growled, low and rumbling, from over your shoulder. Instantly his stalwart guardian cowed—head dipping like a kicked a puppy.
“Of course,” it continued, much softer. “I don’t think this human would do that. And—And I think my master has made a very good choice in his mate, and I will be happy to serve you too.”
Lilia sighed a sigh that sounded very much like a doting mother overflowing with parental affection. Like the kind of noise one may hear on a cozy Sunday afternoon while helping prepare dinner, or while sitting on a little, floral, couch and sifting through little paintings of grandchildren. There was still blood splattered all along his cheeks.
“It’s so lovely to have the family all together again,” he cooed. “And I do think that you will make such a marvelous addition.”
“Oh. Well. Thank you,” you nodded jerkily, just as your knees buckled and you collapsed to the floor.
.
.
On the first day of the new month, Ace and Deuce made their way back to the forgotten castle nestled in a pool of lava.
“We should never have left them,” Deuce grumbled for what was maybe the ten thousandth time. Ace was sick of hearing it. He was even more sick of the fact that despite being constantly inundated with various versions of ‘oh, we’re such terrible friends,’ the little, twisting, spike of guilt in his gut never grew any duller. Wasn’t that how it was supposed to work? Something-something-repetitive-exposure-therapy, or whatever? This sucked. He wanted a refund on this whole ‘conscience’ thing. Maybe it wasn’t too late to sell his soul and become a Warlock or whatever. Surely that would help.  
“We didn’t have a choice,” Ace reminded him. Again. “They’re okay. I know they are. We’re going to show up and they’ll be, I don’t know, lying in a bed of gold being hand fed grapes or something.”
Deuce made a rumbly, whining, kind of noise that made him sound even more pathetic than usual and Ace sighed, determined to instead focus on the rickety rope bridge swinging beneath their feet.
The ancient, looming, monstrosity of a building was just as cold and dark as it had been the first time. If anything, it was more filthy. With walls stained with seeping ash and the charred, skeletal, remains of something that Ace was definitely, absolutely, not going to think about scattered throughout the grime.
The two of them made their way to the heart of the castle until they were standing at the entrance of a grand, cavernous, chamber that may have once been some sort of ballroom.
Ace didn’t know what he was expecting. Slaver’s coils maybe. A chain around your ankles and rags drooping from your shoulders. Or maybe you wouldn’t even be there at all—long since swallowed down as a little, midnight, snack.
He certainly wasn’t expecting to see you lounging contentedly atop a mountainous heap of soft blankets, with the master of this castle—terror-incarnate, death from above, an eldritch beast ripped straight out of legend—curled along the lumpy hills of your grandiose pillow fort, its great head nestled at your back as you reclined against its scales and chattered away. Like the goddamned, rambling, idiot you had always been.
One of the dragon’s large, green, eyes shifted towards the intruders at its door, and Ace froze in place. You paused your chattering to raise your hand with an excited little wave. Your tattered traveler’s clothes had been replaced with something silken and soft enough that it would probably melt in his fingers, and it swayed like mist around you as you made your way to your feet. You were practically dripping in platinum, and diamonds, and emeralds, and—he was going to stop counting them before he gave himself a conniption.
And yeah… it wasn’t exactly a throne of gold and gemstones, but it was almost just as impressive. And immediately indignation swept through Ace with a horrible kind of vengeance. Because how dare you actually be living it up over here when he had been so fucking worried just lying about all that cool stuff to keep Deuce from storming the castle gates?
“You made it!” you chirped, perfectly merry despite the gigantic maw full of sharp teeth hovering at your shoulder.
“Of—Of course we did,” Deuce stuttered, his blue eyes flicking back and forth so quickly from the dragon, to you, to Ace, to the dragon, to you—that Ace genuinely thought he might be having a seizure. “We promised we would.”
You stopped in front of them with a considerate little hum, sharp eyes tracing and cataloguing their varying reactions. After a moment of what was obviously some very smug preening and even smugger ‘I win this round’ silent gloating, you slipped out of the piles of entangled jewels with an exaggerated shrug. With the exception of an intricately carved emerald pendant hanging softly between the hollows of your collarbones, the rest of the infinitely expensive and rare gems fell to the ground with a series of clattering chatter.
“All that shit is so heavy,” you whined. Whined. Like you had any right to complain about anything at all for the rest of your existence. You leaned forward with a wink. “I was just hoping it’d make your thieving, money-hungry ass, jealous.” You smirked, proud. “And it looks like it worked, you goddamn traitors.”
Ace was about to splutter out the most scathing remark his spiteful little brain could come up with, when Deuce ruined everything by rushing forward like the blubbering idiot he was and scooping you up into a bearhug.
“You’re okay! You’re okay!” he wailed. “We missed you so much!”
“Speak for yourself,” Ace huffed, and twinged miserably when it came out sounding far too soft. He cleared his throat and decided to take a different approach. “You know, last time I was sort of joking about the whole ‘bards and dragons’ thing. But it looks like you’ve made yourself real comfortable. And here I thought you were always super opposed to the ‘fucking my way out of my problems’ stereotype.”
However, because the universe seemed determined not to give Ace any kind of win for the rest of his natural existence, instead of getting all embarrassed and mousey, you just huffed and turned up your nose at him.
“Well obviously not as a dragon,” you complained. “Do you know how big he is? How would that even work, huh?” The aforementioned dragon lowered his gigantic head to settle on the ground at your side, and you leaned against him good-naturedly when he grumbled low in his throat. “Yeah, no,” you said to the beast, rolling your eyes. “Nice try, but no.”
Deuce immediately choked and started hacking up a lung, and Ace wanted to die.
“You can talk to it?” the redhead asked instead of keeling over.
You shrugged.
“Not like this. But I’ve learned to interpret most of it.” You wiggled your fingers. “It’s my sixth sense.”
Ace’s nose scrunched. “Yeah, right. If anything, it’s your ‘I’ve been dicked down by a dragon and think that makes me soooo special now’ sense—”
The great, ebony, monster growled and the Fighter’s mouth snapped shut like someone had taken a hammer to his jaw. You snickered goodhumoredly and elbowed your companion gently at the base of one of its long, sharp, horns.
“He’s just joking around,” you said to the winged horror. “You don’t have to get all defensive.”
There was another grumpy sneer, but the dragon simply settled more heavily at your side with a defeated sort of huff. The gust of a sigh sent a wave of scorching heat along Ace’s front, and he fought the urge to cow immediately and beg for his life. Because apparently that wasn’t going to be necessary, because you had—you had—
“Are you in love?” Deuce blurted, because unlike Ace, the Barbarian was pure, and good, and still didn’t fully understand how eggs worked, let alone the concept of Fuck or Die.
And then you surprised him yet again by getting as flustered as he’d expected you to when he’d accused you (rightly) of bending over for a goddamn fucking dragon.
But before you could answer, the dragon lifted its head to press its temple against yours. Or, as well as it could do that when it dwarfed the lot of you the way an elephant might hover over a mouse. Mostly it just ended up being a very, very, delicate head bump. A deep, warbling, purr started from its chest and rolled all the way up and past its sharp, white, canines.
“Uhm,” you tried again. “You guys are invited to the wedding, I guess.”
“The what?!” Deuce howled, before promptly falling to his knees to fan himself like a devasted matron in a church.
You sighed and rubbed at the back of your head, clearly embarrassed. You mumbled something under your breath that sounded a bit like ‘it’s kind of a whole saga, y’know.’ And Ace, in all his infinite good will, decided to take pity on you just this once. And also because you were clearly loaded now, and all good friends know that sharing is caring, right?
“Come on then, Bardy,” he smirked, leaning down to kick Deuce flatter to the floor—half to knock the guy out of his frantic spiraling, half so he could perch on his back like a chair. Because the stone floor looked really uncomfortable, and he had a feeling that trying to slip into that nice nest of blankets of yours would not end well. “Tell us a story.”
.
.
.
[TAG LIST] CLOSED
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milksnake-tea · 10 months
Note
For the event, Nanook with Augst 8 but instead reader is the one got hurt
❀ ˎˊ- prompts: They come home beaten, bloody, and bruised. ❀ ˎˊ- 1k followers event ❀ ˎˊ- character: nanook ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: implications of physical violence, mentions of bruises and blood, nanook is scary ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: im scared of nanook but also incredibly attracted to them ALSO WHAT IS IT WITH YALL AND ASKING TO GET BEAT UP /LHJ but ykw i know u asked for angst but i kinda made it fluffy imsorry. not really satisified w how this ended but i think its okay
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Honestly, whoever did this to you was an idiot.
It was one thing to antagonize the lover of the Destruction. It was another to physically hurt them.
So either your assaulter had a death wish, or a severe deficit in braincells. Although, you weren't too keen on the idea of just running to your lover - knowing them, Nanook would break all of hell loose, giving them a fate worse than death itself.
You sighed to yourself as you rubbed at your cheek, which had already begun to bruise. Thankfully, you weren't hurt too bad, so you could probably just brush it off with a few bandages and ointment. All you had to do was to hope that Nanook wasn't home today.
But of course, fate wasn't on your side.
The second you opened the door to your shared room with the Aeon, what greeted you was a sight of Nanook in their mortal form, lounging on the bed. They weren't doing anything in particular, simply staring up off into space as golden specks flickered around them like fireflies.
Their eyes flicked to you the moment you walked through the doorway. Slowly, their gaze roamed your body, zeroing in on your injuries - evidence of a fight.
Their expression barely changed, save for the slightest narrowing of their eyes. But the atmosphere immediately dampened, as though a black hole had came and sucked all of the air out of the room. The pressure dropped so quickly that your ears popped, and you winced.
Noticing your discomfort, Nanook immediately snapped out of their momentary rage, and the air went back to normal - only slightly, though.
Wordlessly, they beckoned you towards them with a finger, their right arm open for you. Cautiously, you sat down on the bed, allowing Nanook to wrap their arm around you and pull you close.
They studied your bruise carefully, running their finger across it. Swiping their thumb against it, a bit of their power seeped into you, instantly mending your wound.
"Healed by the Destruction," you couldn't help but muse, leaning your head against their broad shoulder. "How ironic. Aren't all Aeons bound their Paths?"
Nanook only hummed, a deep rumbling in their chest. "I've strayed from my Path twice before. The first was when I fell for you. The second is now. Clearly, the laws of the universe are not as rigid as you make them out to be."
"I guess," you shrugged, closing your eyes. Nanook doesn't breathe, nor do they have a heartbeat, but they are warm. Warmer than a human, more like a flame, if anything. "You're not going to ask who did it?"
"I already know," they merely replied. You couldn't help but feel as though their gaze was quite literally burning into your skin as they stared down at you. "I will take care of them, do not worry."
"Don't overdo it," you sighed, shifting into a comfortable position. "The last time you went after someone who hurt me, you destroyed an entire planet."
"I was killing two birds with one stone," they explained matter-of-factly. You laughed, squinting your eyes at them.
"Mmm, I suppose you were," you admitted. Nanook only smiled briefly before poking your nose.
"You should get go wash up," they advised. "You're filthy."
"Gee, thanks," you scoffed, but stood up regardless. You stretched for a bit, rolling out your shoulders before kissing Nanook on the cheek, and then you were off to the bathroom.
But as you closed shower door, and the Aeon heard water running, Nanook's gaze darkened. They dissipated into golden sparks, the only thing that hinted at their existence being a divot in the bed where they had once laid.
That night, as you peacefully rested, unaware of what was happening, your attacker awoke to flames - dark, dark flames devouring their home world as the Destruction watched from afar, the burning planet resting in their dark hand.
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reblogs w comments are appreciated !!
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hashtagloveloses · 10 months
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people calling milly thompson a herbo/bimbo/etc is literally insane she’s the only person on almost all of gunsmoke who knows ON SIGHT that that’s THEE vash the stampede while everyone else is acting like looney tunes going “noooo that cant possibly be him!!!” meanwhile her short idiot girlfriend meryl is buying donuts for the guy and driving herself nuts following him around and writing reports and can’t fucking figure it out…you FOOLS. meryl’s the JOCK girlfriend, 1 braincell, 50 small guns in her cape and a fuckass bob, while milly has the braincells, the muscle, AND the feminine wiles!!!! you just don’t realize it bc she chooses to be silly!
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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year
Note
Been awhile that I have send a request...
So here! What is the character reaction when they see thier y/n! Wearing only thier shirt (like literally they got no pants) that always goes up when they stretch or reach something.
Sam! Hope you're ok and thanks for asking! Sorry for the delay with this one - I've just been obsessing over single characters. A lot. Here's a tier list of sorts. Hehehehe thinking about these especially for the innocent boys 😈
Lookism Boys reacting to you wearing just their shirt
Oops, you've broken their brain
These guys are sweet, innocent, and pretty inexperienced. Seeing you in just their shirt? With nothing underneath? That's indecent af but so hot. They will stand there gaping, frozen and beet-red as their lil brain breaks. With their remaining one single braincell, this is filed away as a core memory.
Johan Seong, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Daniel Park, Jay Hong, Vasco Tabasco, Zack Lee, Warren Chae
Jumps your bones
You didn't expect anything less from these guys did you? You look unbelievably sexy, and it's an awful shame to just let that go to waste. Hold on, there's just a few more requests though.
"Hey Y/N, can you reach up on that top shelf for me? Hey Y/N, can you bend down to that bottom cupboard? Hey Y/N, can you climb up on this ladder? Hey Y/N, can you just keep that on and spread your legs-"
Goo Kim, Ryuhei Kuroda, Vin Jin
Admires
There's nothing wrong with admiring art, and this view definitely is a work of art. Stands there looking and taking it all in, sipping on some whiskey (Gun, Samuel) or munching on some popcorn (Jake) or with nothing because they don't want any distractions from this sight (Eli, DG). Really, cos damn. They can and will watch you all day long.
Gun Park, Samuel Seo, Jake Kim, Eli Jang, DG
Pretends everything is fine
Self-explanatory. Ignores everything at all cost. Holds eye contact, doesn't let it wander even though they're sweating and shaking with the exertion. They have reputations/principles to uphold. This cannot be the thing that ruins them.
Johan Seong, Xiaolong
Everything actually is fine
You need to up the ante with these guys. They've either seen it all or are otherwise distracted. Hold on, let's just bend over as your chest spills out. What? Oh yeah, that's also their boxer briefs you're wearing too.
Eugene, Gun Park, Samuel Seo, DG
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theyoungeragrippina · 7 months
Text
✨ 15 gentlebeard fic recs ✨
i have spent the last month trawling the pages of ao3 for you, dear reader, to find the best ofmd fics. all the works on this list:
are longer-form (generally 40k+)
have no steddyhands (simply not my thing)
are generally, all around brilliant (well-written, had me kicking my feet and giggling, laughing, or crying)
are complete!
part 2 and part 3
A Heart Unsated by roughwinds
48k, explicit
"Stede Bonnet has just moved into Orange Crescent. There’s a house on the corner, opposite Stede’s own, with a garden full of flowers and a gleaming motorbike on the driveway. He’s forgotten to buy sugar.
Edward Teach has his morning disturbed by his new neighbour. Enamoured at first sight, he invites Stede round for a chat, and then another, and then another.
This is the story of them."
man i normally avoid fics with lots of alma and louis in them because its just not for me, but literally every second of the family bonding in this was so wholesome i was forced to change my entire mind.
all you left me was a pearl by @sightofsea
88k, mature
"1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary.
Things do not go as planned."
every day i wish for a precise memory erasing potion to be invented so i can read this again for the first time. i would devour like 2000k more words of this if it was offered to me. brilliant.
forgive & forget by @fool-for-luv
44k, mature
"It hits him then, like a wave breaking on sand, loud as thunder when it crashes, then trickling away into little rivulets flowing back home, murmuring one word over and over and over. Ed.
The problem is, Stede doesn’t recall ever having met anyone named Ed."
so sweet and wonderful, and i wish there was more.
#gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe
41k, teen
"In which Stede accidentally convinces the pirating world that Gentlebeard (or Blackbonnet or Stedward; there's a poll) is canon, reunites his crew, and gets his boyfriend back."
hilarious & silly & great, but also the most compelling notes of any fic i've ever read. a proper learning experience.
if music be the food of love (then darling, you're a feast) by @fool-for-luv
107k, unrated
"“Hey, so, those two, right, they get together in the end?” Ed asks.
“I would protest spoiling it, but I think it's rather obvious, isn't it?” Stede says. His nose wrinkles as he smiles. “The tension is certainly there from the beginning. It just takes them a while to get there.”
“Good. Would have been a shit story otherwise.""
i love sassy stede and i love ed who is a grump and i love that they share one single braincell at any given time.
If You Were Mine to Keep by @mysterybees
162k, explicit
"Caught between the gallows and the end of an English sword, Ed accepts the Act of Grace: marry into the aristocracy, leave the English ships alone, and live to sail another day. But who in their right mind would ever agree to marry the mad devil pirate Blackbeard?"
Worth every second of tiredness I felt after pulling an all nighter to finish reading.
It's Only Right by hexuponye
53k, explicit
"A modern AU based on Imagine Me & You, in which Edward is a florist who does the flowers for Stede's wedding."
mary gets to be a little silly sometimes too as a treat.
pliocene by unfortunatelyobsessed
75k, mature
""man, it's just ocean for miles.” Ed motions out to the waves, where there is no sign of any sort of ship, their small dinghy pulled far up on the sand. “I told you when the clouds look like seagulls you take fuckin' cover. Goddamn ocean mutinied me.”"
william golding wishes he did something this brilliant and significant when he wrote Lord of the Flies. the best deserted island story.
quite a career shift by @stedesparasol
157k, explicit
"Stede's been posting book reviews on Youtube for two months now. It's taken him that long to finally get a comment, and the person it comes from is rather unexpected."
rip stede you would've LOVED booktube. furious i can never really watch his content.
Semaphore by komodobits
124k, explicit
"Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try."
so good that i was properly and truly laughing and gasping and 'oh no-ing' out loud while i read it.
Such Joie de Vivre by @louciferish
94k, explicit
"Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land."
i (so so foolishly) avoided reading this for a while because i simply didn't think i was one for nanny aus. i was so, terribly wrong. don't make the same mistakes i did. showstopping. incredible stuff.
The Chains of Flowers are Fragile Things by @grandmastattoo
62k, explicit
"Stede can't see the shop he's inherited from his late father as anything other than a burden, another insult added to a life that's going nowhere fast. Then he meets the charismatic man who owns the tattoo studio next door, and Stede finds himself forced to consider the idea of home."
maybe i love tattoo shop owner ed fics, sue me. i love this stede and i love his embarrassing mistake tattoo.
The Love Experiment by karawrites
65k, mature
a married at first sight (aus) au. i didn't know i needed it until i read it.
Water/line by @the-gentleman-mermaid
60k, teen
"During a raid on a smuggler ship, Ed finds a merman named Stede locked in the hold."
So good that I would actually pay the author real person money to do a similar story but where Ed is the mermaid.
Where the Daylight Begins by @xoxoemynn
116k words, explicit
"Modern day AU slow burn featuring a pining Ed, a clueless Stede, found family, roughly a million animals, and a very magical house."
This one sort of gave me House on the Cerulean Sea vibes; it was so much fun and genuinely necessitates a proper use of the word whimsical.
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ppoppokari · 7 months
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DAD SEUNGMIN PLS🥺💕 loved the hyunlix one!!!!
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ahhhh thank you thank you for requesting! it's people like you who make it a joy to write! ye ye ye
~~~~~
🤎🐾 puppy love~ seungmin as a dad
~~~~~
*~alexa play higher by albert posis~*
🐻you know the feeling when you’re just so in love that your braincells cease up. yeah that's seungmin the pussy drunk guy who was still shocked at the news of the pregnancy like he wasn't the one who knocked you up even though you just had sex two weeks ago
🐻it's the seungmin way to flash the brightest smile even though he is just confused, and that is literally the mood the entire time he is a dad, he mightn't get it sometimes but he'll just go along with it
🐻is somehow the most prepared person in the entire universe even though he pretty much just sits there being himself, don't question it
🐻everything was unexpected, yet he was still so unbelievably stoked to even have a baby with you. he was and still is such a sentimental guy when it comes to his relationship with you and his love and admiration for you and your relationship keeps growing regardless of whether you were pregnant or not
🐻but on that note he thinks you're absolutely glowing these days and seeing you like that makes him the proudest husband or husband to be and he would definitely be the type to make you feel more at home around his family and creating a happy life and vibes for you and your baby
🐻he definitely doesn't see your baby as a pet, that would be terrible but he 100% was the one to keep insisting that he gets to choose their name. it's.... different but in the sweetest way possible so imagine this, meeting seungmin you were absolutely whipped by his wit and intelligence and you knew that dates with him would be memorable and in this case the first 12 dates were so unique and creative in the way that you did the same thing each time
🐻you would receive a text to say the was having a day off and that he wanted to go out, you'd wait for him to meet you on the corner of the dorm rooms and once he was in sight he'd give a cheerful wave and you'd proceed to walk to his favourite park and once you were there you would talk about anything on your mind as he nudged the rocks with his feet until he found a pretty one to give it to you just so you could go and skip it across the water
🐻 which makes sense that he pushed the name beomseok which simply means "pattern of a rock"
🐻repeat after me, seungmin definitely doesn't think your baby is the same species as kkami or berry but seungmin happily passed down his puppy boy role to beomseok and dress him up in cute costumes just to spam his entire list of contacts with photos
🐻everyone will know what beomseok looks like, they could pick him out of a crowd thanks to seungmin's monthly updates
🐻every day is a dream because 9 times out of 10 you are waking up to both of your boys smiling brightly. the boys actually get the harsh version of seungmin if they knew seungmin would become this soft during fatherhood they would have adopted many many kids
🐻his kid pops up everywhere and i mean everywhere : on an ad for diapers, skz-talker, music videos, on stage. home boy has a cute ass kid and he lets the whole world know, home boy also has the contacts to make that happen plus your child is a natural entertainer
🐻father-son baseball games whether that means attending games in matching jerseys or actually playing in the backyard
🐻side note- since he was so excited to actually play baseball with his son he definitely set his expectations too high thinking they immediately knew what to do when the ball was flying towards him aka he has totally thrown the ball at his kids head
🐻everyday you hear a lil wahhhhhhhhh from the kitchen, peak seungmin noises as he does a cute little jog around the house trying to escape your sons needy cuddles
🐻seungmin's energy is 1000% contagious so now you are gifted with not one but two seungmin's
🐻oh my god, this kid has everything that they could ever dream of and though you play a part in getting that to happen seungmin is a huge part of why their room is so cozy and comfortable, the brown and orange fairy-tale autumn tones all year around, the plush bears-he gets all cliché too with having mama, papa and baby teddy bears
🐻he definitely gives off the energy of the dad who walks his kid to school and even though he's rushing to get them there on time he's the one getting distracted by a random squirrel or the bug beomseok found
🐻different idol but this is literally dad seungmin and i'm screaming
🐻lastly, dad seungmin is like a calm family vacation at the beach where you huddle under the jetty building sandcastles, collecting sea shells and swimming until it gets dark, he is gentle, fun, meaningful, entertaining, a sense of strong support but most importantly he is yours
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nainz7 · 11 months
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Has anyone noticed how Nancy has absolutely no chill when it comes to Ace. I mean she is usually very rational and logical but when it comes to Ace she has like two braincells. Since the earliest episodes she has no sense of personal space when it comes to him and ONLY him. She tries to sacrifice her life to save her friends after he hints that she put their lives in danger. She gives a list of witnesses to a criminal and makes a shady deal with her grandmother to exonerate her grandfather to save his life. Legit goes to his house to confess her feelings for him even though he was in a relationship at the time. Kisses the next guy she sees after she thinks he stood her up and breaks up with him the very next day after Ace confesses his feelings. Offers Temperance her blood in exchange to save his life. Sacrifices a wholeass town (temporarily) for a chance to be with him. Tries to stay away from him and nearly folds every time he merely looks at her. Brushes off almost dying to try again to be with him. The absolute low, barely leaves her house after their breakup. Tries to send him signs and gestures to fight for her. Recognizes the sound of his car, the sight of his shoes and even the sound of his footsteps (girl, how?). And my personal favorite, accidentally starts a literal death game because she couldn’t handle him seeming indifferent to her dancing with someone else. And these are just the ones I can think of on the top of my head. I’ve seen so many posts about how Nancy moves on too fast and how she doesn’t care about Ace the way he cares about her and it baffles me. Because this girl is so in love that she barely sees anything but him. All her sound logic and calm flies right out of the window and she becomes this unhinged, chaotic version who’s willing to do anything and everything when it comes to him. She has a coping mechanism of getting into rebound relationships and Ace has definitely loved Nancy longer but that in no way means that she loves him any less.
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imnotasuperhero · 1 year
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Deep, in the dark, you’ll surrender your heart.
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
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Summary: What started like a playfull banter leading to a nightstand, turned into something else in the span of hours. (There’s a small part containing smut that I set the font in cursive and it doesn’t affect the story if you scroll past it)
A/N: I’ve gotten this request Tuesday night and it refused to leave my mind untill I created it, so here it is! An over 4k gigant that had taken a night off my life, literally. I’ve been writing and planning since last night at 8pm and It’s past 7 am now, which I hope helps you dismiss any possible mistake since my two braincells are squeezing their fuel thank. Enjoy!
“I agree. That specific shade should be garnet instead of burgundy.” You commented, leaning into the stranger sitting at a barstool with her sight lost into space.
“I-” The body in front of you stood petrified for a few seconds too long. “What?” Frowned the brunette looking back at you with a quizzical expression.
“You’ve been staring at that wall for so long I thought you were analyzing it.” You shrugged. “Is this seat taken?”
“See if I care.”
You smirked, asking the beardy man for your drink.
“Interesting choice you went for,” the woman beside you noted, clearly hearing your order.
“You see, when you’re in my line of work, you’re forced to combine things even in random aspects of your life.” You spoke confidently, determined to try a new bed tonight.
“That’s so, huh?” The green eyes beauty sipped from her drink, and you felt your legs tremble at the ghosting smirk perched on her lips.
Thanking the man, you dragged your glass in her direction. “Wanna try it?”
“How do I know you didn’t pay the guy to roofie me?”
Clicking your tongue, you faked your best deception look. “Damn it. You’ve got me.”
The playful smile on those red lips captivated you in ways you never thought possible. “If something happens to me, know that you’ll have to watch your back for life.”
“I’m good at defending myself,” you winked, earning a hearty laugh from her.
Seeing in anticipation how the stranger brought your cocktail to her lips, you choked at the low moan she breathed after the cold, sour drink collided against her taste buds. “I see you know what you want,” she nodded just to take the drink out of your reach. “Nu-uh, this is mine.”
“Am afraid it won’t be free,” you warned, and you patted yourself on the back when you noticed the stealthy deep intake of breath she took.
“Is it beet what I taste?” She scrunched her nose in a way that made you smile.
The following hours were spent talking with that beautiful woman that has taken your breath away from the other side of the bar in which you met your friends at. You could always rain check for another day.
Wanda, as she introduced herself, was a woman of many achievements and the CEO of some growing interior design company located on the outskirts of Manhattan island and, just like you, she didn’t lack the guts to do whatever she pleased which, being honest, you embraced with open arms.
Sending a quick text to Charlie, you extended your arms, smirking when Wanda accepted the gesture, after considering it for a moment.
To say the distance to her place was taking so long was an understatement. Luckily the car had a tinted window that separated the driver’s space from you both, not that you would mind if it didn’t. Lord knows the things you’ve done in the backseat of multiple taxis.
Wanda’s intoxicating lips casted a spell on you for all you could do was try to win the prevailing war between you both. Your hands rummaged upwards, squeezing with just the right force, taking a throaty moan out of her.
But what had you gasping was the sudden weight on your laps.
“Someone’s needy,” you rasped, moving your lips from her lips down her throat, kissing and sucking on her pulse point.
“You’re the one who drugged me,” Wanda moaned, moving her hips against your bare thigh.
Moaning, you grabbed her waist, guiding her through the chasing. “In my defense, you were warned,”
“Shut your smartmouth and kiss me.”
But before you could do so, the car came to a stop, making her grunt. “Hurry up,” she commanded moving off of you, waiting to exit the car.
After she got out, you quickly closed the door, following her to the entrance of the captivating facade.
The simple yet strong lines of the elements conformed an appealing look, calling you to understand the unique blend of the different textures intricated in a good-looking puzzle of warm colors.
“Nice contrast,” you commented, scrutinizing every single aspect of the exterior of the house in front of you. 
“I can give you a tour later,” Wanda spoke a few feet from you, the expectation clear in her green eyes.
“Right,” you rushed inside, not able to scold yourself for admiring the modern style.
“The way you chose abstract-” you stopped mid-sentence when Wanda’s slender finger burned the skin on your lips.
“Less talking, more kissing.” She smiled something impatiently.
“Yes, ma’am.” You smirked, capturing her lips once more, re-exploring every single spot you could reach.
Stumbling through your steps, your hands held tightly onto Wanda’s hips, your fingers itching to be in contact with the softest sking you could only imagine in your dreams.
“Zip,” she indicated as her hands reached for yours.
Doing a quick job of the zip at her back, you broke apart from her lips, looking intently into the darkened green eyes as your hands brushed the thigh fabric down her pale skin.
You could only gasp as your eyes ran down her body excruciatingly slowly, determined to take in her natural beauty.
Once her black dress was discarded on the floor, you quickly strip to your underwear to then push her softly to the bed.
“God, you’re beautiful,” you vowed looking at Wanda in her birth suit, fusing with the sea green of her silky sheets.
Smiling softly, Wanda took your hand, bringing you on top of her. “Show me.”
You didn’t need more indication than these words for the hungriness inside you roared at the hallucinating taste of her lips.
Your tongue fought against hers, in a game of dominance that only the strongest one would win. You constricted the muscle of your thigh against her core as Wanda’s hips bucked upwards with expertise, coating your warm skin with the sticky substance and you made a mental note to taste her. But for now, you worshiped her body like the goddess she was.
The sheets wrinkled in her fists as your teeth marked her burning skin, sending her into a spiral full of ecstasy.
The painful moan she released when you moved forward just right enough had you grumbling at the need taking over you.
“Don’t hold back,” you ordered her, kissing her as deep as you could, not having enough of her. The tips of your fingers itched with electricity the more your hands explored her lustful body, and the willpower to keep her wanting was dropping critically fast.
With one last kiss to her lips, you began a long but enjoyable trip down the sea of warm, smooth skin, feeding a hunger you didn’t think you could ever fill.
Sloppy, wet kisses pampered Wanda’s skin, sending her to cloud nine as she gave into the pleasure you provided her, turning her into a complete mess under you.
The nails dipping on your back took a guttural grunt out of you, which only served for you to bite just above her pert nipple. You smiled when Wanda trembled under you, jotting down your discovery on your mind for later use.
“Please,” 
“Hmm?” You growled, too busy sucking on her pinky nipple, as your free hand pinched and massaged her other.
“I need you,” Wanda cried softly, thumping hard against your overcoated thigh.
Sighing expectantly, you left her breast with a pop.
Looking up, you made sure Wanda’s eyes stayed locked on yours as you descended through her sternum down to her lower stomach, amazed by the utter craving reflected in her darkened pupils.
A primal moan escaped you when your tongue lapped at her folds, your taste buds coated in that elixir you’ve got the pleasure to discover.
Not getting enough of it, you poked and licked every single corner you could reach, enjoying the animalistic moans coming from over you.
“Oh, fuck!” Wanda cried when your tongue entered her. “Don’t stop.”
Grunting, you obliged.
She asked you to show her your devotion, and you just did that for a few more rounds, until she asked you for mercy.
“You sure you can’t give me one more?” You smirked against her lips, gradually slowing the pace of your fingers after guiding her through her fall.
“Maybe later,” she wrapped her arms around your neck, bringing you closer to her, enjoying the mixed warmth of your sweaty bodies.
Giggling, you decided to give up. Propping yourself on your elbow half on top of Wanda, your hand started to draw invisible patterns on her chest, quietly listening to her humming.
“Wonder what other qualities you withhold,” Wanda mused, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between you two a few moments ago.
“Not to brag about, but I’m doing well in life,” you shrugged nonchalantly.
At the silence settling once again, you looked from the hand in her chest to Wanda’s eyes, questioning silently.
“Go on a date with me,”
Your fingers stop mid-movement as those words sunk in. She wanted… more?
“I don’t do dates,” you shifted uncomfortably, retracting your hand to your personal space.
“It doesn’t mean marriage, you know?” Wanda frowned at your refusal.
“I don’t care. I’m not looking for more than what this is. A nightstand only.” You remarked on every word, making sure she understood.
You heard her sigh pregnantly as you stood up, dressing up.
“Do you even know who I am?” the brunette stood up, too, walking around the bed to reach you.
“I don’t give a fuck who you are,” you hissed internally at those words. “I’m not interested.”
“I’m Wanda fucking Maximoff! You should be glad I looked at you,” the woman stepped forward, sending chills down your spine. The look in those green eyes that held so much glint a few moments ago shifted to one of anger. Her body stance alerted all your senses and you choked at the need to win the match once again, fucking that rage away.
Instead, you grabbed her shoulders, moving her closer just enough.
“Goodbye, Wanda fucking Maximoff.” You walked away, leaving a steamy Wanda behind.
A week passed since your encounter with Wanda and she hadn’t been able to expel you from her mind. The captivating, mysterious persona you possessed had her hanging with unanswered questions that, with the way you gave but held back, only seemed to grow by the minute. And the plans and documents she had on her desk only added to the headache her eyes were acquiring the more she looked at the different colors and textures.
‘I need you’ she sighed sending the text, turning around in her chair to enjoy the skyline in front of her. The imaginary finger scratching at her brain was getting the best of her, affecting her work.
The grasp on her phone faltered for a moment as the chiming startled her.
‘It’s an easy day. Come over to the bakery and we’ll talk.’ Wanda smiled gladly. She knew she could always count on her friend.
Stepping into the chilly air of mid-October, Wanda snuggled into her velvety coat and decided against driving. It was just a few blocks away and she knew for sure she could use some oxygen.
“I ordered your usual,” the redhead greeted as Wanda took a seat at their designated table.
“You’re a blessing,” the brunette thanked. “I was praying you were free.”
“That bad, huh?” Natasha smiled pitifully.
“Remember I hooked up with a girl last week?” 
Wanda wasn’t someone to avoid subjects. She didn’t had the time nor the strength to kick around the bush. Much less when it was something that took over her whole life.
“Thank you,” Natasha thanked the young girl placing their food at their table. “She’s stalking you?” The smirk on the redhead’s lips made Wanda’s blood boil. “You should get used to it by now, Wands. Or better yet, create an alter ego.”
“Haha, very funny.” Wanda snarled, taking a bite of her cinnamon roll. “She basically discarded me like some piece of-”
“As your best friend, you had it coming a long time ago, babes.”
Those words ricocheted through her mind, suddenly realizing some… no. She was a goddess and everyone knew her worth. 
“I’m serious, Nat! She didn’t even allow me to ask her out.” Wanda cringed at the whine in those words. You’ve come around like a brick wall and all she wanted to do was to climb it up. 
And boy, did you come.
Wanda looked up from the sweet treat on her plate at the sound of the voice that haunted her since the day you left.
“Y/N!” The brunette witnessed quietly how -her- Natasha stood up, hugging you as you giggled, unaware of her presence.
“Long time, no see.” You smiled, keeping an eye on the barista preparing your order.
“Dude, yes! I’m sorry for not going the other day-”
“You’re okay, Nat. I knew it was a long shot for you to be back in time.”
“Really. We can meet tonight if you want.”
The whole interaction panged at Wanda’s heart as she saw you interacting so carefree with someone who wasn’t her. And the fact Natasha had known you all this time didn’t ease the betrayal she was starting to feel.
“-Wanda.” The brunette came out of her reverie at the calling her name and she’d be lying if the look of indifference in your eyes sent her soul to the underworld.
“Hi,” you acknowledged her with a polite smile.
Before she could answer, you hurriedly kissed Nat’s cheek, claiming you were in a hurry and your order was ready.
The feeling of emptiness invaded Wanda once again, forming a lump in her throat.
“What’s wro- It’s her?” Natasha asked scandalized. Her green eyes wide open.
“That’s Y/N,” Wanda sighed, looking defeated at your attitude.
“Oh, my.” Natasha sat back down, her gaze full of pitiness. “I’m sorry, Wands. She’s… she’s out of reach.”
“You have to help me,” she begged.
To be honest, Wanda was tired of portraying someone she really wasn’t. She’s been for a while now. Her own past molded her to protect her heart and never let her naive self show again. But if the last few days served for something, was to show her she might have found the person she could trust her heart to. If only she could have you.
“I don’t know,” the redhead squeezed her hand supportingly. 
”You know her, Nat. Why is she closed up to me?”
“It’s not you, Wanda.” Natasha smiled tenderly. “She… she has her own dilemmas, too. Just like you,”
Looking down at the design in front of you, you sighed tiredly as your mind seemed to refuse to let go of the encounter from hours ago. Wanda’s sad face was engraved into your retinas, making your chest inflate with something akin to sorrow with every breath you took.
But you’ve made your peace with your change of character. You valued yourself too much to be left as a second option for some businesswoman. That kind was never a nice feature.
You just couldn’t take the risk. Your heart weighed more than any pretty face with a killer body that invited you to their bed.
Thankfully, the knock on your door took you out of your head, smiling at the grumbling of your stomach as the time on your phone read 8 pm.
“Did I ever tell you I love you?” You greeted the redhead, grabbing the bags out of her hands.
“Once or twice, but it better be true for that cost me a lung,” Natasha smirked as she saw you licking your lips at the food in front of you.
“I’ll pay you back,” you shrugged, hurriedly placing both pairs of chopsticks beside the containers on the wooden coffee table.
“How about you design my future house for free?” Nat tried walking into the kitchen, looking for the cold bottle of wine and two glasses.
“You know you’ll need to buy me more than this, right?” You clicked your tongue, earning a laugh from your friend.
“We’ll discuss it another time,” she sat by your side on the floor, taking the remote to choose a movie.
Content, both of you decided on a lighthearted movie as you dig into the delicious sushi calling your name, commenting here and there throughout the whole duration. 
The weight in your heart lifted a bit as you smiled at the peace the redhead provided you. No matter how long you’ve been apart, your friendship was always intact.
“So,” Natasha spoke as the credit rolled on the darkened screen. “Have you got an offer yet?”
“Still waiting,” you sipped from your wine, enjoying the tingly sensation.
“I might have found you a nice spot,”
“You what? For real?” Your eyes almost fell out of its sockets at the words. “Oh, my lord, Nat!” You launched yourself at a giggling redhead. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“It was nothing,” her long arms wrapped around your waist for a moment. “They asked if I knew someone and I thought of you.”
“You’re the best, really!” You gasped cheerily, breaking away from the hug.
You couldn’t fit more happiness in your chest. Granted, you still had to get interviewed and everything, but the idea of taking a break from the hustle of being your own boss looked like a great vacation after working solo for the last 2 years.
To say that night you were unable to sleep was an understatement for all your mind could think of was the different projects you’d direct for the next few years. No more deals with the clients nor complaints about prices.
Feeling optimistic, you looked at your reflection one last time before confidently walking out of your apartment with a steamy travel mug of coffee in hand. The blasting music coming from the speakers of your car had your head bobbing at the beat, adding to the feeling of pure joy you experienced.
But said joy muted into nervousness as you stepped through the floor-to-ceiling doors of the building. The bodies scattered around unbothered by your presence.
“Hi,” you greeted the lady at the front desk. “I’m here for the design team director’s interview?”
“One minute, please.” The blonde smiled warmly before tapping away on her keyboard. “Take the elevator to the third floor, then walk straight to the office at the back.”
“Thank you so much,” you smiled, fasting your grip on the strap of your portfolio bag as you walked the directions you were given.
Stopping by, you knocked on the ginormous wooden door, you straightened yourself, confident enough to not think about the looks the people working on that floor were giving you.
You prayed silently as the muffled voice on the other side invited you to come in.
But all the nervousness and expectations you had flew outside the window at the woman sitting in front of you.
“Y/N,” Wanda gasped, standing up and walking slowly towards you.
You took a deep breath and allowed yourself to calm the turmoil forming inside of you.
“I should've known better,” you grunted thinking back on the comfortable space you found Natasha last Thursday. You should’ve known someone like Wanda wouldn't stop until she got what she settled her eyes onto. 
“No, please stay.” Wanda hurried to the door, blocking your way.
“Is the position even open?” You changed your weight from one foot to the other, feeling the previous cheery feeling slipping through your body.
“It is,” Wanda said, hurt showing in her eyes. “It was just a coincidence Nat knows a potential talent to replace Julio.”
“I’m sure someone else will pop up,” you sighed, ignoring looking her in the eyes. The magnetic pull between you both,  getting harder and harder to ignore.
“Please. Just give us a try. The company, I mean,” Wanda corrected herself.
Looking up to those green eyes that liked to hunt your dreams sometimes shined with hope and you couldn’t resist. Not when you had finished the last project and had nothing to do until you found something else.
“Whatever,” you walked over to the desk, unbeknownst to Wand’s toothy smile.
“Here are a few of my designs,” you handed her the black leathery folder, fighting the urge to pay attention to Wanda’s reaction to every page she inspected. 
Focusing on every single detail in Wanda’s minimalistic office, you quietly calmed your erratic heart as you dried your hands on your jacket.
After a few minutes of silence, the brunette hummed approvingly and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“They’re really good, Y/N,” Wanda smiled proudly at you and you felt your heart do a somersault at the look in her eyes. “I like how detailed your lines are.”
“Thank you,” you smiled shyly.
“I have a question, though,” Wanda closed the folder and placed it on her desk, her intertwined hands over it. “I only see your designs lead towards the simplistic, detailed styles. How do you manage with Victorian style?” The perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in a criticizing way and could only stand still, hiding the unsettling tickles on your stomach.
Was that still ongoing? You knew there was always someone who wanted their place overcrowded with furniture that only served to suffocate you the longer you stayed inside the room. But never thought it was something this company specialized in.
“It makes me cringe, but I can put the client's wishes over my comfort,” you answered honestly.
“Good, because as the head of the interior design department, you must be open to things that give you nightmares.” Wanda smiled, trying to win your trust.
And that she did. Every new interaction she pulled out of you, served for you to see her as Wanda the person and not as your boss. With every project you both discussed, the closest you two became and what started like an overstay on a stormy night to finish some big project, turned into impromptu after-hour at least once a month. And Wanda couldn’t be prouder of herself for fooling you into deadlines that could easily be met the following day.
“Food is here,” Wanda informed you, walking towards the door. “Hope you feel like having Thai.”
“Sure,” you agreed, your attention focused on the different palettes of blues trying to find the right shade for this nursery. Unaware of Wanda’s soft gaze on you.
One of Wanda’s oldest clients asked for her to be the one who designed the brand new house he wanted to gift her daughter, and of course, she thought this was a great way to have you stay longer. 
The more you opened up to her, the harder it was for Wanda to give up her hopes. And in consequence, the deeper she felt for you, like an innocent girl walking towards a spooky candy store filled with the sweetest treats you could imagine.
“Let’s take a break,” she suggested entering her office, looking at your couched form painting on the plan under you.
“It’s okay, I can multitask,” you shrugged.
Sighing, she walked over and took the coloring pencil off your hand. “I’m not asking,” she looked sternly at you.
“Fine,” you huffed, following her to the small sofa adjacent to her desk.
Allowing the comfortable silence that settled between you, Wanda ate her noodles thinking of the right way to say what she needed. 
The curiosity was taking the best of her and the fact that Natasha was secretive about it only added to the itching feeling eating her from the inside out.
“Can I ask you something?” 
Wanda could only smile softly at the innocent look you gave her as you nodded with the chopsticks still in your mouth and a single noodle escaping your lips.
“Why you refuse to go on dates?” She braced herself for the stormy argument about to start.
Only, it never came.
“Why so insistent?” You swallowed, allowing your shoulders to fall.
“It’s the only thing that haunts me every moment since we hooked up,” Wanda explained honestly, seeing how your face shifted from discomfort to resignation.
“My ex was a lawyer. She always put her work over me, no matter how much I tried to get her to come home before midnight.” You spoke softly and Wanda felt a pang in her heart at the disappointment in your voice.
“After I stomp down my foot, I promised myself to never be the second option for someone else. If my girlfriend can’t stop working to come to our bed, then she could never be the right one.”
“I’m sorry,” Wanda could only ache at your confession, the tugs at her heart only pulling further, imagining you alone in bed feeling so small in the nighttime.
“You know not everyone is the same, right?” She tried, tiptoeing into the idea forming in her mind.
“Says the one who stays after hours every other day,” you smirk.
“I don’t like being alone,” Wanda thought it was only fair to share her own issue.
Your small laugh got Wanda frowning. What could be funny about this?
“Nat would be all braggy about this,” you nodded in the negative. “She said we were meant to be,” you looked up at her and Wanda’s heart missed a few beats.
“Wouldn’t doubt that,” the brunette smiled at the thought of her friend teasing you equally as she did with her.
“Can I kiss you?”
If her heart was having trouble beating by itself, she was sure she now needed a cardiac pacemaker for the dizziness that appeared for a second or two.
Smiling brightly, the brunette launched herself at you, savoring the lips she’s dreamed of for so long.
“Is this some default movement?” You smirked as she settled on your lap.
“Oh, hush. It’s not like you don’t enjoy it,” Wanda countered attaching her lips to yours, not having enough of you.
“Does this mean I get to take you on a date?” She asked hopeful, after breaking the link for much-needed air.
The look of playfulness that she found in your eyes made her squeal in anticipation.
“One missed date, one late anniversary, hell; even one plan canceled at the last minute, I walk out of your life.”
Wanda could only nod frantically at the prospect of you having accepted her. The foggy dreams at the back of her mind cleared away as her determination lighted brighter than ever.
“You have my word,” she leaned down to seal the pact with a kiss.
She knew that it was too soon to jump into the pool. But having you in her arms after surrendering your heart to her, Wanda made it her mission to never leave you down. No matter what trouble she got in, she’s had the emptiness of her heart be filled by you and she couldn’t retribute you any other way than to put you first above anything else.
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