something else about fit and tubbo’s relationship: it’s very special to me and they do love each other very much, but i do think this current tension was almost bound to happen not matter what. even without the tubbo homophobia. yes, tubbo self-sabotaged and made the situation current happen. yes, fit is valid to be upset at tubbo. but the unequal footing tubbo was reacting to is VERY real and something they BOTH built and something I think ONLY tubbo is fully aware of. 

while i don’t think fit and tubbo’s relationship is paternal at all, i do think it is heavily informed by the age difference. when they meet, tubbo is young, inexperienced, and reminds fit of his son. in contrast, fit is a stable older presence who knows the island secrets. their early dynamic is a bit like a mentorship: fit checks in on tubbo, tubbo asks about the island, fit decides what to tell tubbo, tubbo sees how someone with experience handles the island. 

losing the eggs only strengthens this pattern. tubbo is a mess and relies a lot on fit (and pac) to help get him through. fit is hurting too, but obviously he is not going to share all his fears with a teenager having a breakdown (that’s not how he operates, not when he can channel his emotions into something productive instead like checking on tubbo, pac, and the island). tubbo meanwhile strives to have walls as strong as fit's, but even if he won’t talk about it directly, his emotions bleed through a lot of the time anyway. so fit continues to check in on tubbo, and tubbo continues to let fit in and they grow closer because of it. we have lots of sweet moments in their friendship of tubbo letting fit see his vulnerabilities (about the eggs, with fred, about his day to day concerns) but we don’t see a lot of fit sharing his vulnerabilities. early on, fit makes it very clear to tubbo that tubbo has not earned the right to his secrets, and what he knows about the island, and what he does. fit visits tubbo and then leaves to go on secret jobs tubbo knows nothing about and can’t follow him to. tubbo doesn’t know anything about fit’s memories, or his resistance work, or his purpose. this was an initial source of tension between them, and while tubbo eventually decided to trust fit anyway, to this day, tubbo must be aware that he still hasn’t earned fit's full trust. and that fit, for all he knows tubbo’s problems, hasn’t shared many in return. the only exceptions to this that I can think of are 1) fit’s feelings for pac, which tubbo is privy to and while he teases fit, he is supportive of (which tubbo lost access to—at least in his head—when fitpac started dating, hence the acting out) and 2) fit coming to tubbo about the cats (which tubbo does NOT recognise as a moment of intimacy, that baffoon just laughs it off). i’m not blaming fit for this, as much as he loves tubbo, tubbo is an emotionally unstable teenager (turned young adult) whose bad at both secret-keeping and tact (and fit holds some very sensitive very dangerous secrets), but it definitely creates a lopsidedness in their friendship. 

especially because tubbo DOES respect this boundary of fit’s. while sometimes he pesters him for access to the office or insider info, he doesn’t seek fit’s personal business out behind his back really. meanwhile, the few times that tubbo has tried to keep something from them (kinda attempting to mirror fit’s own walls imo), fit and pac have gone behind his back to find out what it is. for example, them going to quackity’s house to investigate fred’s kidnapping without telling him, or them going and reading tubbo’s investigation room about the fed worker killings. now, i get why pac and fit—nosy and concerned as they are—do this, but it’s not great communication and it’s not a great show of trust.

all of this results in fit having a LOT of insight and access into tubbo’s life and insecurities and tubbo having comparatively little in return. and fit deciding how and when he interacts with tubbo and tubbo relying on fit to engage (lest he interrupt something secretive). they have all this restrictions and intricacies for how they interact and both of them have fed into this dynamic—it’s familiar and easy for both of them (fit isn't risking his secrets by trusting tubbo more, tubbo isn't risking rejection by asking for more)—even though their friendship has progressed and needs more balance. it worked ok for them for awhile bc they do both care for each other a lot, but it was NEVER going to be sustainable. any shift in dynamic that lengthened the distance between them would have unsteadied it.

but while tubbo is acutely aware of this tension and sensitive to it changing (and lashing out in response), fit has never really had to think about it. given the way they’ve interacted, fit’s own feelings have always been a bit separate from their friendship. it’s only now that tubbo's emotions/actions have hurt fit that fit wants his feelings acknowledged. he wants a more even dynamic, but he doesn’t realize that their friendship doesn’t feel like a “two-way street” because it never has been, almost by design. 

i don’t think tubbo has the experience or insight into fit’s emotions to realize what fit needs organically. i don't think fit can understand how his relationship with pac isolated tubbo even if he wants it to stay the same. i don’t think fit recognises the ways tubbo continues to show his trust in fit (like still inviting fit to follow him on the fred date or not investigating his secrets). i don't think tubbo understands why fit is upset with him (just that he is) or confidence to ask.

i don’t think either of them are going to properly explain their concerns to each other, if they have the words to properly explain it. all of this makes me think we’re only in for more fit & tubbo miscommunication in the coming weeks, but i DO think we still have hope. because these fools do love each other and pac (who I didn’t talk about much at all) & ramon & sunny (tho she’s also hurting) aren’t just gonna stand idly by while they continue to hurt each other.

moar hl scraps…. does a pose

Thinking about the what if El was never interested in Mike romantically, she just assumed she was discourse on the tag today and how it's very possible what could make El fully realize this, is when in s5 she see's Will's love for Mike in real time, for the first time, and she's just like damn! That is not me!

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

truly what a guy

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

there’s always time for branding™️

Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:

Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.

Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.

(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)

I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.

enmi gintoki…………… orz

see the THING about goodsir and stanley is that goodsir may be way less inclined to act cruelly but he has a far greater capacity for it.

we’re autism4autism have i ever mentioned that

one big thing about polyshipping for me is, like. you know how some people will have their eyes opened to homoerotic relationships in media bc they'll realize, "wait, if these people were two different genders, i'd 100% assume they're into each other. i have a double standard that i never noticed"?

there's a polyamorous equivalent in certain media that's basically just. "if you didn't assume this character is monogamous, you would 100% believe they have crushes on & are dating all of their friends." OR, "if this character wasn't dating somebody else already, you would 100% interpret this new friendship of theirs as a crush/budding romance."

usually the creators of the media aren't thinking about polyamory when they make it! usually the creators of the media are thinking "i want this character's friends to be as important to them as their romantic partners, we don't get enough of that in media," which is great and true and also EXACTLY WHY IT WORKS AS A POLY NARRATIVE. people will be like you don't Have to polyship why can't you just let platonic relationships be important ugh 🙄 & i'm like i did my years in the "why can't two men just be friends why does everything have to be gay 🙄" trenches. you're not doing this to me. we're not doing it about polyshipping. we're skipping over that whole discourse cutscene because i am Too Tired For It. don't even start

sometimes characters are so full of love and affection and joy for so many people that i start gnawing off my hands about how polyamory isn't normalized. because i'll watch/read certain media and i'll be like. listen. this is a polycule. i know you don't know this because your creators don't know this and that is totally okay but you are a Wildly polyamorous person who's ambiguously trapped in the 2000s/2010s with Big Monogamy psyops eating your brain. please let me free you. please i can give you Everything .

PLEASE KISS YOUR FRIENDS

thinking about tubbo and his relationship with leadership. how he asked forever if he could be president for a day and got added to a long list of names of people who would take over for the person before their name on the list. how he asked to be leader of soulfire and everyone was like "uh yeah sure i guess" on that first day and didn't really take it seriously.

and then fast-forward to now, he's going into purgatory 2 with a whole team behind him supporting him and his leadership. they want him to lead them again without even knowing what's to come, and they still call him coach and captain. it doesn't matter that they lost the first time. it doesn't matter that he's the youngest on the island. he's won people's respect, but more importantly, he's found a family in soulfire, and they've all found a family in each other too. it doesn't just come from a place of respect. it also comes from a place of love. and he's come so far since he was first released from that ice prison. they all have.

before purgatory, no one took tubbo seriously. he only had morning crew. bad was his enemy because of ron and fred. bagi hated him for the hole. he didn't have an egg. so much has changed since then. i mean, just think about what bad said when he showed tubbo the base! think about how bagi's desire to go to purgatory was to save tubbo and the other members of soulfire, how she's said so many times that she wants him as her coach again.

he's found respect, and he's found love of every kind in places he never would have even thought to look. i don't think there's any truer definition of found family than team soulfire.

Super rambley but Sceleritas tries so hard for Durge.

If they spare Isobel, he tells them they’re going to kill their nearest and dearest companion (which Durge has a history of not doing- Orin straight up calls them a liar if they say they’d kill those they’re closest to without hesitation) not because Bhaal asked for another head to replace Isobel’s, but because Sceleritas knows the consequences of not giving him one (and so should Durge, but their brain is ruined and muddied and surely they can turn this around because it isn’t their fault, they don’t know what they’ve done by sparing her)

They need something grand and dramatic and meaningful, it needs to be a sacrifice on Durge’s end because that’s the only way to possibly make up for them resisting their god given Urge

It’s not meant to be a punishment (but it is, isn’t it?) it’s meant to be repentance, a sad gift to Father in hopes that he’ll forgive their transgression

It’s not right, but that’s just how it is being under Bhaal. Sceleritas understands the consequences- his whole existence is purely meant to help steer Durge towards their purpose- what’s a bit of hurt now if it will save their very life? Their blood right?

The love is there, it’s just twisted to the point that the only people who would recognize it as love are other Bhaalists

five stages of adeuce ft the trials and tribulations of ace trappola