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junker-town · 7 years

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THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE: When Texas A&M snatched THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE honors from Texas

The Aggies didn’t just blow a 34-point lead. They also ruined what had been a delightful weekend of laughing at Texas and Baylor. Here was the online meltdown.

Texas A&M was winning its Week 1 game against UCLA, one day after former conference rivals Texas and Baylor had lost upsets.

Mood: Aggies http://pic.twitter.com/5NsqmCXF3h

— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) September 4, 2017

Texas A&M blew a 34-point lead and lost.

Texas: What a terrible opener Baylor: Hold my beer A&M: lololololololololol y’all ain’t seen nothin'

— TexAgs (@TexAgs) September 4, 2017

That fake-spike touchdown happened after the clock was already stopped.

Sumlin just made all of the shit I talked to UT invalid

— Jack R. Landingham (@KINGGJACK) September 4, 2017

Let’s check in and see how Aggies fans responded afterward.

A literal university regent immediately announced he intends to vote for Kevin Sumlin’s firing.

I'm sure I may be criticized for this post but I honestly don't care. I've been on the Board of Regents for the A&M System for almost seven years. During that time, I've not once commented on Kevin Sumlin and his performance during his tenure at our school. I never said a word when he and his agent manipulated a much bigger and longer contract. I said nothing about his arrogance and his mishandling of multiple player controversies. I said nothing when we had multiple awesome recruiting classes, only to see key players leave our school or underperform. But tonight I am very disappointed and I have to say this. Kevin Sumlin was out-coached tonight, which isn't new. He recruits well, but can't coach the big games, or the close games. Our players were better tonight. Our players were more talented tonight. But our coaches were dominated on national TV, yet again. I'm only one vote on the Board of Regents but when the time comes my vote will be that Kevin Sumlin needs to GO. In my view he should go now. We owe it to our school and our players. We can do better.

Share this as you see fit.

Shortly after that, the popular Aggie message board at TexAgs broke.

Live look at our site. Nice work, everyone. http://pic.twitter.com/4PIIlXBm72

— TexAgs (@TexAgs) September 4, 2017

Once the site was back up, the vibe was as follows.

Checking in on TexAgs... http://pic.twitter.com/gGfXlf0svy

— Jake Trotter (@Jake_Trotter) September 4, 2017

THREAD: “Legitimate Business Opportunity”

All,

With the inevitable collapse of Aggie football this year I would like to personally invite all of you to get in on the ground floor of my new up and coming business.

We will be selling tarps, similar to the ones at Baylor, to cover unsold seats for upcoming home games.

Kyle Field is a beautiful place and I would hate for the appeal to be ruined by empty seats. So join me in my quest to monopolize the college station tarp business and make Kevin Sumlin type money.

All name suggestions will be considered.

THREAD: “Not letting A&M ruin college football for me”

Instead of just giving up on college football because our season is over, I'm planning to just be a college football fan until Sumlin is fired. I hope we go 11-1 from here on out, but I'm not going to spend any time watching this team. I'm going to watch as much college football as I can, without all the normal thoughts that go through my head while watching games (ex/ is this good for A&M, etc), and just be a fan. We'll see how it goes.

The first reply:

Congratulations!

And the second:

We're all f'ed.

For so many reasons, my favorite current TexAgs thread is “Go Get Major Applewhite”

— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) September 4, 2017

THREAD: “Things we could have bought with Sumlin’s salary this year”:

1. Twenty-five Lamborghini's

2. A really nice house

3. Ten private shows by Katy Perry

4. Seven Waffle Houses

5. 270,000,000 Skittles

Any one of those would have given us equal chance at beating UCLA.

THREAD: “Land Kiffin”

THREAD: “Ruined the TV remote”

THREAD: “SUMLIN SHOULD RESIGN”

ANY MAN WITH AN OUNCE OF SELF RESPECT AND LOVE FOR ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY WOULD RESIGN AFTER THAT.

FIRE. SUMLIN.

THREAD “OFFICIAL MELTDOWN THREAD”

Fire Sumlin and make him pay for his own plane ticket home. Mond needs to change positions.

I believe you described the "bargaining" stage of grief ... You have progressed passed the denial and anger stages which is good. Next is depression which will be tough. Let me know if you need someone to talk you through it.

The Aggies forum at 247Sports looked on the bright side.

THREAD: “well, let us and horns laugh at each other and feel better”

Horns lost to maryland in all aspects and we lost 34 point lead. we can all laugh at each other now and feel better about selfs.

THREAD: “It's okay guys we covered the spread”

National Champs in Moral Victories

THREAD: “My Saturdays just got wide open”

I didn't think it was possible, but I think I'm done watching or caring about A&M football for the foreseeable future. I came into this season about as unexcited as I've ever been for a football season and they just crushed my spirit in one half. I don't even know how to describe this feeling.

Things were not much better at AggieYell.com.

There is, of course, a GoFundMe to buy out Sumlin’s contract.

It’s well short of its $10 million goal, but it’s still early.

Let's not wait any longer. Let's buyout his contract ASAP. This inexcusable. On the bright side, if for some reason he doesn't get fired, we can use the money to buyout AD Woodward' s contact. Worse case, we'll donate it to BTHO Harvey relief efforts. Maybe we could hire Mattress Mac!

Here’s some of what happened at SB Nation’s A&M blog, Good Bull Hunting.

It looks like the Aggies will cover the spread here

— Good Bull Hunting (@GBHunting) September 4, 2017

One author was able to look on the bright side:

Texas A&M is back!

The Fightin’ Texas Aggies shocked the nation on Saturday with a display of running game domination never before seen by the UCLA Bruins. Texas A&M’s top three runners, RB Trayveon Williams, RB Keith Ford, and QB Kellen Mond combined for a staggering 371 yards and 5 touchdowns on the ground. Combined with an early defensive strategy that was aggressive and opportunistic, it is no surprise that A&M amassed 38 points in the first half alone against an opponent who was favored to win by 4.

The Aggies lost, obviously.

From a choose-your-own-adventure:

Chapter 1: This is Incredibly Easy

You are standing next to a field with a 34-point lead and 4:08 remaining in the 3rd quarter. You have assembled a masterpiece. The powerful running game you devised is matched only by the intensity of your defense.

Should you run down the play clock before snapping?

Yes.

No, we should snap the ball quickly because... identity?

Congratulations! You successfully completed the "protect a 34 point lead" scen- ... wait, what? Okay, you have decided not to run down the play clock.

If you click on “yes”:

A commenter requested a Kiffining:

A&M needs to offset this embarrassment with a fireinf

Fire the coaches tonight. On The tarmac at easterwood.

And a Texas fan stopped by:

Horns fan here. Holy #%@^

I don’t know which was worse, probably the Horns loss. But, this is why you should play the Horns, at least one of us would win a game.

Unbelievable.

Let’s check in on Reddit.

#Tradition? http://pic.twitter.com/1DGjoEH4qb

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 4, 2017

When an Aggie asked an Atlanta Falcons fan about what happens next:

At R/Aggies, the No. 2 post from the last month was when Texas lost. The No. 1 post arrived hours later.

The comments under the game story on AggieSports.com should not be turned into an A&M recruiting meme.

Surely you weren't fooled into thinking they had stopped playing in the Aggie tradition. A&M is where top high school players go to become chokers and previously successful coaches go to see their career ended. Some things NEVER change. At the end of the year when we fire Sumlin and hire another sucker it still won't change.

At halftime, Texas A&M’s Facebook page posted this graphic.

Other Facebookers pined for the glory days of Dennis Franchione ...

The Aggies have always left their fanbase disappointed and yes occasionally embarrassed. They stooped to a unbelievable new low and it's all Sumlin. God I thought no one could out do Fran, congrats Summy, YOU WIN!

... and R.C. Slocum.

only a moron can repetitively lose season after season,while in a commanding lead,and only a moronic athletic director and department cant see it,why dont you just bring back RC Sloacombe so we can all predict the plays instead of just the outcome.

If Sumlin is still the head coachin the morning I won’t watch the rest of the season.

Call Scott Woodward, Director of Athletics, Phone: 979-845-5129

Tell him that Sumlin has to go.

But the finale post was even rowdier.

Other Facebook statuses were equally aggrieved, including several calling for the team to just attempt coachlessness.

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Fire Kevin Sumlin now! IDC if we don't have a coach the rest of the year....

Posted by Rick Wilk on Sunday, September 3, 2017

Dear Texas A&M: Please fire Kevin Sumlin tonight. We will play just as good without a coach. Disgustedly, Football fans

Posted by Linda McFarland on Sunday, September 3, 2017

This isn’t how a firing works.

It would be good bull to fire Kevin Sumlin and donate his buyout money to a Harvey charity

Posted by Chris Elam on Sunday, September 3, 2017

Fire Kevin Sumlin .... he couldn't coach if he owned a bus company.

Posted by Lincoln Terrell on Monday, September 4, 2017

On Twitter, some people have changed their names to calls for Sumlin’s firing.

The comments under a TexAgs Facebook post of Sumlin’s presser delved into the real issues ...

... such as Sumlin being bad at unfucking situations with his hands ...

1 thing I noticed that was telling was Sumlin was engaged and hands on with his players in the first half, especially the line. The 2nd half he had a pure lack of emotion or fire. He always does this, when the game goes sideways he has no words or physical movements to fire his players up and re focus. He often states blankly into the nearest scoreboard as to wait for a response from the screen to tell him how to unfuck the situation. The only way to describe it is when you watch a war movie and the bullets are flying, explosions everywhere, people dying and there is that 1 soldier who just goes into shock and another soldier has to make him come to reality and get back in the fight... a&m doesn't have a veteran soldier to get our shell shocked coaches head back in the game unfortunately...

... as well as all the rap music and chewing gum, two things Josh Rosen clearly took advantage of during those fourth quarter drives ...

Sumlin will loose the teams focus now for the rest of the year. 4-8 season. Receivers suck. Kirk is good. The OL and DL played hard. I didn't see them give up. But they played with the plays they were given. Why not just run the ball. Didn't play tight ends. Didn't work with clock. I'm beyond frustrated. That game was in the bag. Coaches let them score 35 damn points! How does that happen? He threw Mond out on national TV to figure it out... he shouldn't have been put in that position. Hubenak should have been brought in as soon as Mond couldn't get the ball moving. The arrogance of Sumlin. If I could get my season pass money back I WOULD!

Time to have discipline!

Lack of discipline. Where to start?

-No more uniform changes.

-No more rap music at practice.. I see a lot of dancing around.

-No more celebrating before the clock says 00:00. Shouldn't have been celebrating on the first damn play!

-No more kids disrespecting the head coach on the sideline.

-No more chewing gum on the sideline Sumlin.

To be a winning team you need a head coach like Saban. He would never allow the above to happen.

I'm so damn pissed I can't even think straight!

... and the entire rest of the coaching staff, lest we only fire Sumlin ...

As bad as Sumlin is i can't beleive nobody is calling for Chevis head....what has this guy brought to ATM? He got destroyed by Tennessee Alabama, LSU and now UCLA.....Chevis and Sumlin are horrible coaches.....I imagine that Sumlin won't be here by next weekend....

... and goodness, do these Aggies hate chewing gum or what?

The coaches lost that game for the entire team, in the second half! How can you allow a team to score 30+ points while you stand on the side line smacking your bubblegum & do nothing about it??? Sumlin needs to stay in cali!

And finally, from the Sumlin presser Facebook comments, one spouse who’s ... well ...

My hubby was at the lake all afternoon/evening, and kept his phone off so he wouldn't know what happened.

This is from my mother.

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