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stormtheskyelf2 · 2 months

Note

Can you share more of the Murder Drones stuff? Headcanons, thoughts, sennarios?

*Deep breath in*

Contains: Lgbtq+, vore, ranting, abuse mentionsTHIS IS LONG!

HEADCANONS FOR THE SILLY LIL MURDER ROBOTS :D

Let's start with the background characters!

I think Lizzy would be lesbian. Ofc, crushing on V. I also think she'd have an extreme soft spot for anyone who treated her with respect out of hey, Lizzy's actually pretty cool and not heck, if I don't be nice she'll spread a petty rumor- (she has and will do it again)

Thad.. Thad's gay. He is.. SO GAY. I know he's a 'jock' and all that, but the way he act is kinda soft, I wouldn't be surprised if he fell for the rival school's quarterback-

Now for the main 3 Disassembly Drones!

I don't have any actual headcanons for J because A, I don't like her.. at all- and B, she barely shows up-

But I think J would be one of those extremely straight, extremely Christian people. She's okay with LGBTQ+ people, but she's never held hands with any woman other than her mother. Do Murder Drones have mothers like Worker Drones? N is straight! I love him to death and I think him and Uzi's relationship in the series is adorable, though I don't see him being attracted to any other gender.

I have a feeling that N may have had some cheap programming for him to be so soft on Worker Drones. Perhaps he was made fast using any part available, or maybe repaired, and they used some Worker Drone parts to fix him?

V is such a damn lesbian and you cannot tell me that she doesn't has a crush on Lizzy-

I don't know what it is about the Vizzy ship, but I love it. It might just be my love for gay, interspecies romance, but... gimme all of it!

Now for the others!

Tessa is straight, though that.. doesn't really matter anymore considering she's like the only human left-

Tessa has been both verbally and physically abused from just being overly scolded in her childhood, to being locked/chained in the library/basement/wherever V and her were in Ep. 5, Home-

Uzi is pansexual- she'll take anyone as long as it's genuine love, since she's been starved of affection for so long (Khan I'm gonna beat you up for this)

Uzi bit Rebecca once when she was mocking her. It's canon now.

Doll.. I think she'd be extremely against love and she'd think she's asexual, but then she has love at first sight with someone and she panics.

I have a feeling she has a Gacha 2019 backstory- her mom loved her and her dad couldn't care, and oh no, here comes V killing them both, and now she's the quiet kid

Nori has no clue what her sexuality is. That was an arranged marriage between Khan and her; I don't think she'd actually fall for someone that interested in doors and doors only- but then again, Khan got more adventurous in Ep. 7, so that could show how he was before Nori 'died', which in that case she would have happily indulged in her crazy drawings with him.

"ACCORDING TO MY WIFE'S CLOSET, THE PLANET IS GOING TO START EATING US SOON."

Khan is doorsexual straight. He's a simple man, despite his... affection for doors. I don't have anything on him other than he has an overwhelming guilt for having to 'put Nori out of her misery' and being a horrible dad to Uzi.

Yeva doesn't get much screentime, so.. I don't have any real headcanons for her.. I got nothing :P

Scenarios:

Once V gets regrown or respawned or whatever, I think she'd get immediately hug-tackled by Uzi. She's definitely shown some growth in personality in a good way.

N would let Uzi shove herself down his throat because A, is this an act of love? B, he's too shy to stop her, and C, oh hey she tastes nice

Nori could shrink and then eat Uzi like the mother she is

or vice/versa, Uzi finds Nori and eats her to keep her safe

I is kinda drained so uh yeah that's all the stuff I can spew, thank you for asking this and sorry-

#ask #asks #murder drones vore #murder drones ship #murder drones #headcanon #safe vore #sfw vore #extreme cuddling #g/t vore #soft vore

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sixzeroes · 7 months

Text

(teaser) boundaries.

summary | love knows no bounds—but the truth is, love needs to learn when to not cross the boundary and when to just let go.

information | alpha!mark x beta!reader(f); friends-to-strangers?-to-friends-to-lovers, a/b/o au, tba; profanity, tba; 0.7k words for teaser.

status | still writing.

warning!! the actual fic is going to contain renhyuck (typical abo dynamic) and a hint of jeno x karina (both betas), so if you do not like it when idols are paired together, i suggest steering clear of this fic! thank u 🫶🫶 also, currently at ~5k words but i'm projecting this to be ard ~7k at most lol !

mark lee: You busy?

The next time you see Mark, it’s two days later on a Friday evening.

“Hey, sorry for texting you so late.” His voice is warm, contrary to the cool autumn breeze. It’s nearing ten p.m. but annoyance is the last thing on your mind. “What were you up to?”

You stick your hands into your sweater pockets. “Nothing much. Doing some readings. You?”

Mark brushes his bangs back. “A dinner party with the BCSA execs. I managed to leave before they headed out for round two at someone’s house.”

“You didn’t feel like going?”

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “I’d rather be hanging out with you.”

Okay. You don’t ask about Renjun.

Neither you nor Mark say anything for the first few minutes of the walk, simply following the main path on campus. It’s serene, with a few students here and there, and several raccoons hiding out near the garbage bins. The streetlights dimly illuminate the route but it’s enough to wade through the darkness. You can hear Mark humming the tune to a song you don’t know.

“This reminds me of middle school,” says Mark. “I remember walking you home one night, after a bunch of us decided to go to the beach.”

You remember as well. “Yeah, and then you ended up sleeping over because it was one in the morning.” A soft snort leaves your nose. “My dad was shocked to see you on the couch the next day.”

Mark chuckles at the fond memory. “Are your parents well? I know our mothers contact each other from time to time, but I haven’t seen them in ages.”

You lightly massage your nape. “They’re doing good, I guess. My mom’s still working as an anchor for CBC, but my dad switched companies recently. He’s working at some well-established realty firm now.” The two of you turn left. “How about yours?”

“Mm, they’re good too.” Mark grins. “They’re still working at the same law firm. I think they’re dead set on staying until their retirements.”

“That’s cool,” is all you can think of.

“Yeah. Hey, want some ice cream? My treat.”

You spot CCOMAZ, the reputable ice cream brand everyone is always raving about. The last time you had it was in first year and frankly, you don’t remember how it tasted. “Sure, but I can pay for my own.”

Mark holds the door open for you. “It’s okay. My treat since you agreed to hangout with me at ten p.m.”

Your lips quirk into a small smile.

You end up getting the lavender honey flavour, while Mark goes for the caramel one. It’s a little pricey, considering it’s a small, family-owned brand, but it tastes good nonetheless.

“Oh, I gotta go.” says Mark, reading a text from his phone. “Renjun forgot his keys and Chenle is at a retreat, so I need to let him in.”

The omega is mentioned briefly but something in you churns. A thorn pricks the corner of your heart; feels like guilt, although you’re not sure why. It’s not like you have a crush on Mark or anything, so Renjun shouldn’t feel threatened.

Whoa. You stop yourself for a second. What’s with the escalation?

“Y/N? You good?”

You glance at Mark, whose face is painted with worry. You breathe out a response. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, got a brain freeze. I’ll, uh, see you in CLST, I guess?”

Mark frowns. “No, let me walk you home first.”

“But Renjun?”

“Renjun can wait in the lobby,” he shrugs.

You’re a little concerned at Mark’s comment but choose to not dwell on it. Instead, you jokingly push him towards the bus stops. “Just go, Mark. I live on campus, so I’ll be fine. You shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

The frown never leaves Mark’s face, but he relents and nods. “I’ll see you on Monday, then. Get home safe. Text me when you’re home.”

“Okay mom,” you tease. “Thanks for the ice cream!”

Mark beams from afar. The imagery blends in with the numerous memories you have of teenager Mark, dressed in his school uniform, bidding you goodbye after dropping you off at home. For the first time in years, you wonder what it would’ve been like if the two of you never grew apart.

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trashbag-baby666 · 1 year

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Lose It-Hunter Sylvester

Disclaimer: Song used in the Drabble is Lose It by SWMRS. I no long support them but the song bops a little. Got this idea for it after an intense listen to it!

C/W: mentions of cheating/sleeping with other girls.

Hunter had fucked up and there was no going back.

He had slept with a few girls that meant nothing to him and he wasn't sure why. The band had gone on a small tour of Oregon and Hunter let the obsessed girls get ahold of him.

Of course you found out fast, Emily and Hunter were your ride or dies.

Your band of girls were not having it and you weren't going to take it.

You were upset and angry going through the five stages of grief over and over. For what seemed like forever but had been more like four hours.

So, what did you turn to? Your guitar and notebook.

You wrote out your feelings as you decided that you couldn't forgive him for what happened.

You had talked to Emily and Kevin when they got back and they supported your decisions.

Hunter was pissed when you showed up at his door and gave him his stuff back and told him it was over.

But he wasn't pissed at you. He was pissed at himself. This was his fault and he knew it.

"Fuck him," Emily nodded as she read over the song you had written. Both of you needed a well needed hang out session. The session before your high school hosted a local music show.

Your band, y/b/n, we're playing and so was Skullflower.

"Do you think I should play it?" You looked up at Emily.

"Yeah, I think he deserves to have to be put in his place. Plus it's a good song none the less, y/n." Emily nodded and handed you back the tattered notebook.

"Thank you so much for coming over and just talking." You hugged Emily as you made your decision to play it.

You and your band had practiced the new song plenty of times. As you stood side stage as Molly Coddle played. You guys were up next, you'd warn your favorite outfit and shifted your weight on your new docs your mom had gifted you.

"Ready, y/n?" Your bassist came over resting her hand on your shoulder momentarily. You nodded as Molly Coddle finished up and packed up your gear and you guys began to set up.

Then it was time, the stage lights flickered on and the band did a small introduction. You spotted Hunter quick. Standing off towards your guitarist more with Kevin and Emily.

His arms crossed as he looked like a kicked puppy. He loved watching you perform and you knew that.

"Tonight is a night for a new song." You smiled awkwardly flicking the long mic cable as you held the mic, "This one is called Lose it." You smiled as your band came in playing the mellow melody.

"When I first saw you, I made a mixtape

I didn't know you'd do the same damn thing

When I said goodbye to you, it went quiet

'Cause I didn't wanna feel any pain"

It was true you and Hunter were both music critiques and buffs. You both loved everything music. You liked a lot of metal but more indie rock being your style and Hunter could respect that. You had made him a mixtape on a CD and he made you a playlist.

You turned to music the night Emily texted you saying Hunter was sleeping with a fan.

You couldn't listen to any of it. It all reminded you of Hunter. All you were left with was silence and your tears.

"The last thing I want is another debutante

To take me away from my world (take me away from my world)

And I know that wasn't us, but it still got tough

So come on, come on

And tell me, why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?

Ya, if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it

When we drove up the coast, we had a soundtrack

We made it feel like a film on a reel

And our story didn't have a happy ending

But it still sounded good despite the way I feel"

You guys fell for each other fast and you dragged Hunter on a road trip to the coast to your aunts cabin so it could be just you two for a weekend.

You guys had made a collaborative playlist on Spotify and it really seemed like a teen coming of age movie. It was one of your happiest memories of Hunter.

"The last thing I want is another broken heart

To drive me to the brink of crazy (drive me to the brink of crazy)

In the end, I couldn't take it 'cause I knew we wouldn't make it

So come on, come on

And tell me, why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?

Ya, if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it

Tell me, why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?

Ya, if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it"

Hunter stood in the crowd watching you softly sway your hips to the soft beat. He knew it was about him. Hell, almost everyone in the room knew it was about him. The schools 'loser couple'. You had only a few friends being your band mates and then Kevin and Emily.

Hunter knew he had fucked up so bad the moment after the girls would leave him and he'd see the texts from you on his phone. Every time he did it and he still continued to do it.

He deserved this, he was humiliated but he also deserved this humiliation. Clay had even shared some glanced and head nods towards Hunter as the song went on.

"In the end, we were just a couple kids

Who thought and fought our way around each other

There's a mark on the town the times we had around

But there's still some space for the rest of our lives

Sing it

Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Tell me, why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?

Ya, if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it

Tell me, why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?

Ya, if all my favorite songs make me think of you, I'm gonna lose it

I'm gonna lose it

I'm gonna lose it"

You finished and said thank you to the crowd as you packed up. Maybe this wasn't the official end of you and Hunter but just the end for now. Maybe he just needed time to grow as a person. To recognize the beauty he had standing right in front of him, waiting for him.

You were hopping that the wake up call of the song would be enough for him to change his inflated ego.

#metal lords #hunter sylvester #hunter sylvester x reader #kevin schlieb #clay moss

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calqlate · 11 months

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GENSHIN CHARACTERS AS THINGS KPOP IDOLS SAY THAT SOUND FAKE BUT ARE REAL (BUT I TWEAKED SOME OF THEM A LITTLE BIT)

MASTERLIST

aether: my mom said she adopted me from under a bridge

albedo, regarding cyrus' speech: i learned a lot about the adventurers' guild and you were very kind to me. thank you so much. today's talk was really boring.

al-haitham: your mouth... delete

amber, trying to speak snezhnayan to collei for the first time: why sad? give up!

arataki itto, to kuki shinobu: i am a king! you are a... woman king!

baizhu: drink water, not alcohol

barbara, to rosaria: when you struggle to answer a question, remember barbatos is always the answer

beidou: i like girls... generation

bennett: i can't ever get married because i'm scared of having a son like me

candace: in my village, we kiss instead of shaking hands

childe: stay still, before i stab you with my tailbone

chongyun, playing the game about penguins on ice: sad, it's a sad game. it makes me think of global warming.

collei: i like the school gate the most. it feels so nice when i leave school.

cyno: i feel like, the possibility of all those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that could possibly happen

dehya: i should microwave these strawberries

diluc: drive sober or get a bus pass

diona: can i hit master diluc with this? [raises spoon]

dottore: if you play a trick again, i'm going to destroy your hands

eula: water from the knights' headquarters tastes like water

faruzan: i'm a scholar, it's not my job to act cute

fischl: you ugly things

ganyu: this is a little different from the hell i know

gorou: if someone bullies you, tell me and i'll take a shit in front of their house

hu tao: all aboard the trip to hell bus!

jean: people might not know that we are knights at first glance, but yes, we are knights

kaedehara kazuha, to someone (probably) before he fled from inazuma during the vision hunt decree: if anyone asks about me, tell them that i'm dead

kaeya, about the knights: we have amazing teamwork, we can even kiss each other

kamisato ayaka: that's outside of my abilities... good luck!

kamisato ayato: maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside too

kaveh: you know what else is big? my feet!

keqing, being asked to speak english: a b c d e d g...

kirara: unfortunately, in the morning, i couldn't say goodbye to my goose friend. i took a walk but it was too far away. i need to make a new [animal] friend in fontaine.

klee: thank you, god of wind!

kujou sara, to arataki itto: your behaviour is so... ugh

kuki shinobu, responding to the question "when are the arataki gang going to be on any shows?": our life is already an entertainment show

la signora: here, this is poison. die.

lisa: tomorrow exists so you can put off what you can do today

lumine, to zhongli about azhdaha: your dragon speaks teyvatian?

mika: if you can't be the best, be the worst

mona: i want to fall in love but i want to make money

nahida, reading the lyrics to bruno mars' versace on the floor: it seems romantic though?

nilou: everyone except for those who are driving, put your hands up!

ningguang: beidou's birthday present... i was planning on giving her a big slap on her face

noelle: [sniffs the air] it smells like a nose!

pantalone: it's not my phone. go ahead and lick your screen.

qiqi: are there any cats in liyue? ...yeah, there are cats in liyue.

raiden (ei): the fridge is my wife

raiden (shougun): my blood type is AB. that blood type is common among psychopaths.

razor: and i said, "bennett, you look sexy like a worm"

rosaria: my favourite colour is barbatos

sangonomiya kokomi: puppies are agents of capitalism, too. they only go after treats.

sayu: all i care about is sleeping

scaramouche: they all look like fools though

shenhe: that looks like it came from hell

shikanoin heizou: do what you want, do what you love. and if your love is me, well—

sucrose: he's not dead, right?

thoma: taromarou is so cute, you could die. really.

tighnari: there's nothing wrong with being a little dumb

venti: so, green grapes are green?

xiangling: the higher the calories, the better

xingqiu: we might get into trouble, but honestly, i don't kinda care

xinyan, responding to the question "how is it like being in the forest?": it was an honour meeting so many bugs

yelan: choose your words wisely

yae miko: my body is so hot, 'cause i'm so hot!

yanfei: kidney function is not a right, it's a privilege

yaoyao, talking about rudolph the red-nosed reindeer: maybe it was not a round nose at first, but it's swollen because santa hit it

yoimiya: this is my friend that we use a lot. say hello to the trampoline.

yunjin: being an otaku is not a sin!

zhongli, talking about his relationship with childe: we say we are brothers but what binds us is a legal contract

#💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #you're a stan if yk who said each line originally #genshin impact incorrect quotes #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact hcs #genshin impact #genshin incorrect quotes #genshin headcanons #genshin hcs #genshin

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pink-bear · 2 years

Text

NSFW Alphabet: Yasuhiro Hagakure

This guy would be in his 30′s by now jfc

Stuff under the cut. Character depicted is 18+

THIS IS 18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s a chill guy, and he likes to chill out after sex. He’ll offer his partner a joint, but won’t force it on them (or smoke if his partner isn’t comfortable with it).

He doesn’t expect a lot in return, but he’d at least like a cuddle and some kisses.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his chin, he feels he has a pretty strong and handsome one-

As for his partner, he loves a nice ass (and he’s not at all picky with them either).

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums a decent amount, and it has an almost pungent taste to it. Whether that’s something you like or not is on you lol

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s a panty sniffer. Fresh out of the laundry or worn all day, he’ll bury his nose in his partner’s undies whenever he gets the chance. He gets rather embarrassed when he gets caught, though-

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Doesn’t have a whole lot. Despite his mom saying how charming and handsome he is, Hiro was never really seen as desirable by others. This in turn resulted in him not getting many dates, and nothing past first base.

Any know how he gets is from porn. His first few times aren’t terrible, but his lack of experience is obvious.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Anything where his partner is on top/doing more of the work. He’s a lazy guy, what can I say?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Hiro’s a chill guy (for the most part), and likes having a good time. So silliness during sex is pretty common for him, especially with long term partners.

He can be serious if the mood calls for it, but more often than not he’ll crack a joke or two.

He totally loves having sex while high too

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

One of the hairier guys in DR. He’s kinda lazy with keeping himself groomed, if the hair on his head didn’t immediately give that away.

If his partner REALLY wants him to, he’ll tidy things up a bit, but nothing drastic.

And yeah, the carpets match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It takes a special partner for him to become truly intimate. Sex before finding a dedicated partner is more casual, but with the right person he can be romantic in his own way. He’s no Casanova, but his words are nothing but genuine.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off quite a bit, especially while single. He’s got a decent collection of porn saved that he likes to fap to, and rarely goes outside his “comfort zone”.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He’s never had a chance to do it, but he loooooves the idea of hypnotizing people. He’ll deny it has anything to do with the occult, and all about delving into the deepest part of your mind and soul...or something like that-

L = Location (favourite places to do the do)

He doesn’t like leaving the house unless he has to, so his favourite spots are places like the bed or living room. It’s comfortable and familiar, and he doesn’t have to worry about where the bathroom is afterwards-

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Usually it’s his partner that’ll get him in the mood. It can be as much as them flirting and touching him, or as simple as glancing at him the right way. It all depends on how he’s feeling.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

As always: No toilet stuff.

Apart from that, he’s pretty open to a lot of things, and willing to try most things at least once. Unless it’s like...occult roleplaying, then that’s a hard pass-

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Being lazy, he much prefers to receive rather than give. Doesn’t mean he never returns the favour of course!

He’s actually quite good at eating pussy! Sucking dick not so much…but it gets the job done-

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s on the slow side, preferring to take things nice and steady (and lazy). If his partner wants faster, they’re gonna have to do the majority of the work.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s pretty lazy, so quickies are good for when he’s in the mood, but can’t be bothered to do the whole shebang.

Though sometimes he’s too lazy to even do that-

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He likes the idea in theory, but overall prefers to keep things in the bedroom. His worst fear is his mom walking in on him, so he will absolutely refuse to do anything if she’s staying over.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has pretty low stamina over all, so a round or two is usually all he can handle. There are times where he might have a bit more energy, but they’re few and far between.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He likes using fleshlights, and has a vag, anus and mouth one he alternates between. He enjoys using toys on his partner too, particularly anal beads/butt plugs~

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to do a fair bit of teasing (though nothing too unbearable), but never really does it for long. He’d like to hop into the good stuff sooner rather than later.

He doesn’t like being teased in return, and can be very whiny if his partner teases him too much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

It depends on how he’s feeling that day. Sometimes it’s nothing more than a few groans and grunts, while others the sex hits him like a sledgehammer and he’ll moan up a storm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Even though he doesn’t wash his hair very often, the guy still bathes (usually every other day). He can be a bit ripe smelling, but he also smells like incense sticks, but most often smells like a combination of both.

So while he hardly smells like roses, his musk isn’t that intolerable (and hey, some people may like it).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Uncut dick that’s around 6.5 inches. It has a nice girth to it, and is thickest in the middle.

His balls hang low, and are quite a nice size if you’re into that-

Also has a surprisingly nice ass!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty average overall. There are times where it’s on his mind constantly, and others where it never even crosses it. He’s always down to see a nice ass though!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He conks out pretty quickly...like almost immediately. And he snores...really loud. But the louder he snores, the better the sex was!

🌸🌸🌸

Hope you enjoyed! And if you don’t agree with any of these, that’s fine! These are just my personal headcanons!

Alphabet template

#danganronpa #yasuhiro hagakure #danganronpa smut #headcanons #lemon #smut #danganronpa lemon #do not tag as kin #nsfw.

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thebibliomancer · 10 months

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #298: DISASTER!!!

December, 1988

EDWIN JARVIS -- the last Avenger?!

WELL SOMEBODY HAS TO CARRY THIS BOOK.

Fuckin’ Thor.

Oh, I should contextualize that.

Last times in Avengers: Dr Druid, under the influence of Nebula Kang (who is later revealed to be Ravonna pretending to be Nebula pretending to be Kang. For some reason), manipulated events to get rid of Captain Monica Marvel and become chairman of the Avengers.

After a brief attempt to kill Thor with a dinobot, Druid and Nebula Kang managed to put Thor, She-Hulk, and Black Knight under mind control, so Nebula Kang could use them to get into a time bubble in time and find some big weapon that the Kang Klubhouse wanted.

Some Kangs interfere, breaking the Avengers out of mind-control. The Avengers fight Nebula Kang and Dr Druid, leading to the two to get sucked into a time hole. Like a plot hold, but in time. The Avengers go home and She-Hulk quits in shame for what she did under mind control. Thor decides this is a good a time as any to just totally dissolve the team and takes off with Black Knight to go do Asgard stuff.

Leading to an awkward situation where there’s an Avengers book but no Avengers.

DISASTER!!! about sums it up. It being Walt Simonson’s run on this book.

HEY OOOOOH!

That’s not nice but I don’t have to be nice.

His Thor work is still a contender for best run the character has ever had but his Avengers work... eugh.

And since I don’t have to be nice...

Its funny that the Mets win right as Inferno is getting into full swing. Hell may not have frozen over but New York is certainly going to something quite like Hell!

So an Avengers book without any Avengers means that its Jarvis’ time to shine again.

Just like how we washed out the bad taste of Avengers #200 with a fun Jarvis back-up story the following issue.

If you don’t recall, Jarvis fought a bully of the neighborhood who had damaged his mom’s groceries.

Speaking of Jarvis’ mom...

She’s amazing.

Ma Jarvis needs her stories.

And her stories are: wrestling and General Hospital.

The television stops working on top of the air conditioning not working. And when she tries to call someone about it, it turns out the phones aren’t working!

Mrs. Jarvis: “#@%*!!! The phone line’s dead! What the #%@!! is this? A @#!!* conspiracy?!”

Jarvis offers to assist and Ma Jarvis must be in a bad mood because she eviscerates him. Not literally but she says some hurtful things that would be hurtful if Jarvis didn’t take it all in good humor.

She points out that A) he kept wearing his eyepatch long after his injuries from Avengers Under Siege healed. And B) He’s unemployed because the Avengers folded. And C) the Avengers never bothered to teach him anything useful like television repair.

Now to be fair to Jarvis.

A) He probably just wanted to look as cool as he is. I say let Jarvis wear an eyepatch.

B) Yeah, jerk move of the Avengers to just disband on a dime like that. But he at least has a nice pension from them that’s supporting Jarvis and his mom.

and C) “They taught me self-reliance... and the true value of teamwork.”

She’s so grumpy!

Granted. No air conditioning and no tv makes Ma Jarvis something something.

Jarvis walks down the street and goes into the first reputable television repair shop that he sees.

Unfortunately, there’s an epidemic of television malfunctions today (probably because of Inferno) so all of the television repair guys are working overtime and haven’t found the problem yet.

Repair shop guy: “I dunno what’s goin’ on around here! Me? I’m thinkin’ maybe New York is finally headin’ into the toilet!”

Jarvis: “Colorfully colloquial but unfortunately, an apt choice of phrase. Mother will simply have to forego her afternoon’s entertainment. A daunting prospect.

So daunting that Jarvis decides not to go right home. He decides to take a trip to the Metropolitan Museum to “refresh my eyes and rekindle my flagging spirit.”

He is a man of culture.

But the subway train he’s on suddenly stalls, like the power has gone out.

With his people skills, Jarvis takes charge of the group of passengers and directs them out of the train.

I don’t know if you’re supposed to immediately leave a stalled train, honestly. Maybe Jarvis is actually pulling a boner here.

If you’re not supposed to leave a train during an apparent power outage, he definitely kinda gets someone killed.

A businessman type with a briefcase accidentally drops his briefcase on the third rail and since its full of merger information, he immediately grabs it and gets electrocuted.

The train is stopped but the third rail is still active oh geez.

Now everyone is panicking and one guy tries to run off in a panic but Jarvis trips him. Another tough looking guy takes issue with Jarvis taking charge.

Tough looking guy: “Back off, fancy pants! I’m gettin’ outta here and nobody’s stoppin’ me! Not even some guy in a silly lookin’ hat!”

Jarvis: “This hardly seems the place to indulge in sartorial criticism, sir. Rather, seeking a rational solution to our mutual problem would be more beneficial! Brace up, everyone! The walk will not kill you but the panic may. Single file, keep in the center of the track! If you drop something, leave it! Follow me, now! Carefully!”

He leads the group through the tunnel until he finds an emergency exit and then leads them back up to the street.

Once again the day is saved by Jarvis.

He even gets kissed for being such a hero, by the lady he had saved from tumbling out of the train.

Said lady Glory Garsen seems really interested in spending more time with him. Really interested. Blatantly interested.

But Jarvis excuses himself for a pressing appointment. A pressing appointment that he doesn’t have because he’s just going to the museum to relax.

Not really sure what to make of the exchange.

Also, I’m not sure how old Jarvis is supposed to be and how old Glory is supposed to be.

Jarvis later dates Aunt May for a while. And he supposedly fought in World War II by lying about his age. And its the late 80s now. But also, he doesn’t ever seem to age, because he’s around a bunch of other people who don’t ever really seem to age.

Point being, I’m pretty sure there is a significant age gap here.

Anyway anyway, after excusing himself from her advances, Jarvis finds to his disappointment that the museum is closed. Physically closed. The doors slammed shut and nobody can get them open. The Fire Department is trying to break the doors down but haven’t had much progress with it.

Jarvis reflects that this doesn’t seem to be his day and muses about purchasing a gift for his mom.

Jarvis: “I wonder where I could purchase a pair of wrestling trunks?”

Geez, she’s really into wrestling, huh? Wait, would the trunks be for her to wear? Does she herself wrestle?

Hell yeah, Mrs. Jarvis.

Instead of shopping, Jarvis decides to visit the “cinema” for he has not had the time to go in years!

God damn, the Avengers, force this man to take more days off.

Wait, you’ve disbanded. Uh... enjoy your retirement, Jarvis!

Anyway, he heads to the Daily Bugle building in hopes that he can find a schedule of the local theaters but chances into another heroic moment.

Some bricks fall off some scaffolding, right towards a mother and her child.

Jarvis shouts a warning but then clumsy, normal photographer Peter Parker accidentally trips, grabs Jarvis’ arm, and pushes it so that his umbrella deflects all the bricks. Accidentally.

But Jarvis is not one to hold a grudge, especially since the totally accidental inadvertent assistance helped save the two bystanders from getting severely bonked.

Normal guy Peter Parker walks off but since Jarvis is looking to take in a movie at the local cinema, Peter suggests Roger Rabbit because “his wife’s a knockout!”

(Quickly checking and yup, Who Framed Roger Rabbit did come out the same year this issue did. That’s fun.)

Peter’s suggestion is one Jarvis can only agree with, after the movie is over.

Jarvis: “That young man was right! Roger Rabbit’s wife! My goodness! Such... ample... drawing!”

Jarvis, you horn dog.

He decides to phone home and tell his mom when he thinks he’ll be coming home, accounting for walking time because he has a bad feeling about getting back on the subway again.

But there’s already a line at the phone and it seems the phone isn’t even working! The cigar chomping guy at the phone complaining that nothing has worked right since AT&T was busted up.

(That’s another time stamp for the issue. That would have been about four years ago at the time of this issue. We’re learning stuff today.)

Anyway, the phone apparently takes offense to cigar guy’s abuse and lassos his neck with its receiver.

This is why people prefer cordless phones!

I love how unfazed Jarvis is by this. He just saw Roger Rabbit and that gives him the context to decide that things are just acting like cartoons today. So he’ll just follow cartoon logic.

Since Inferno seems not to be in full swing, that makes him one of the earlier people to realize that wacky demon stuff is just like cartoons.

So he just puts more money into the phone until the receiver lets go of the guy and jumps back in its cradle.

Because, why not!

Anyway, Jarvis isn’t fazed by all this nonsense but he also knows its not just another typical day. Since the Avengers are disbanded - THANKS, Thor - Jarvis decides to place a call to someone else.

He stretches the cord as far as it will go so the phone can’t attempt to strangle him. But when he dials the number, the phone insists he needs to insert $429.45 to complete the call.

Jarvis: “I see. Well, my technological friend, two can play at this game! Complete this call and I shall feed you all the change I possess! Frustrate that effort and I shall return momentarily with bolt cutters... and sever your receiver! You’ll never eat in this town again!”

Phone: “Click.... bzzzzzzzt... ring... ring... ring...”

Jarvis: “Ahh.”

He freaked that phone.

Later, a mysterious man enters a mysterious base in Brooklyn, mysteriously.

Look, this isn’t too much of a mystery.

Its a guy that Jarvis knows and Jarvis trusts. And its a guy carrying a circular object that can block lasers.

It’s the Captain America.

The whole point of slowly breaking Roger Stern’s Avengers roster was to put Steve Rogers back in charge the way nature intended.

Its definitely not the new Captain America. Why would Jarvis have his phone number?

Anyway. Jarvis doesn’t know what’s going on with the Captain America’s life so he keeps the message vague. Something is weird in Manhattan and people haven’t realized it yet. He requests this mysterious Steve Rogers shaped stranger meet him at the Brooklyn Bridge so Jarvis can Explain It All.

And the Captain America gets a firsthand experience with how screwy things are getting when one of the computers in his secret base starts moving around and shooting lasers at him.

Not things that computer was designed to do.

The Captain America throws his mighty shield and that right there is evidence this is Steve Rogers because that computer sure does yield. By exploding.

Mysterious guy: “I wonder if this isn’t precisely the sort of thing Jarvis was calling about. I think I’d better make that rendezvous and fast!”

Meanwhile, Jarvis chilling by the bridge.

When he hears an EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! and calls for help oh help.

And its Glory Garsen!

The woman from the subway who kissed Jarvis!

Small world!

She’s also stuck between two cars despite two beefy looking dudes’ best efforts. Because the small world is also a malevolent world.

Jarvis applies some more cartoon logic and gives one of the cars a good poke in the eye - or headlight, rather - and it pulls away.

Burly guy: “You did it! But... I don’t believe it! It backed off! All by itself!”

Jarvis: “Injury to the eye motif, my good man! Even the strongest willed individual will shy away from a pointed stick!”

That’s such a particular phrasing “injury to the eye motif.” Jarvis, have you been reading Fredrick Wertham’s book?

I saw that particular phrasing in Cerebus too but the arc in question came out later than this issue.

Imagining Jarvis reading either “Seduction of the Innocent” or Cerebus the Aardvark honestly floors me. But he did partake in a Who Framed Roger Rabbit that he really enjoyed so maybe I shouldn’t guess his interests.

Anyway.

Glory Garsen admits that it isn’t a small world. She’s been stalking Jarvis.

She’s damn tired of being single and she’s not letting a good guy walk away just because he’s shy.

Oh so it was shyness? Sure.

Look, even if the dating scene sucks, you shouldn’t stalk handsome butler types.

Then the day gets weirder.

A giant robot? man comes VARROM VARROOUMing down the road and tries to knock Jarvis’ block off.

Hey, its the guy from the cover. Except much greener.

And he THROWS A CAR AT JARVIS!

Yeesh. This guy must be evil. Hating Jarvis like that. For shame.

When Jarvis dodges the car, the robot dude grabs him and starts squeezing him TO DEATH!

Well, not to death yet but he’s trying.

But Jarvis SPAKTs the guy in the non-broken eye and the robot rears back and goes “WHEEEAAAPP! BEEEEEAP!” in distress.

But it doesn’t drop him and its clutching him so tight that he passes out.

BUT THEN!

BUT THEN!!

Someone mysterious throws a disc-shaped object and when the mysterious someone throws a disc-shaped object, the robot guy has to yield Jarvis to the ground.

C’mon, its obviously the Captain: “The first round’s over, demon. You aren’t related to an answering machine over in Brooklyn by any chance?”

Oh, so the thing that attacked the Captain America was the answering machine. Glad we cleared that up.

Glory Garsen drags the unconscious Jarvis to safety while mystery dude engages the robot dude.

And mystery dude gives a lot of pointers while he fights. Or... like, condescending pointers. Talking about how much the other dude sucks. “Your cornering’s pretty weak!” sort of thing.

The robot dude rips a manhole out of the ground to try to fight the Captain America but again he yields when bonked with a high velocity trash can lid shaped object.

Then the Captain America punches him in the face over and over until... the guy turns into a car.

Huh.

I guess it was the car that was trying to squish Glory and that Jarvis broke the headlight.

IT CAME BACK FOR REVENGE!

Inferno is weird.

Also, huh. It wasn’t so many issues ago where Thor was fighting a robot T. Rex that was more than met the eye. And now a car transforms into a robot mode and back again...

You a big Transformers fan, Simonson?

Jarvis shares the previous car incident with the Captain and tells him that there’s been more incidents like this around New York today.

Jarvis: “I couldn’t think of anyone more qualified to wrestle with such an emergency. But I do think that it might prove troublesome should this animated plague spread to every inanimate object in the city!”

The Captain: “So you think that I won’t be able to handle what’s going on by myself?”

Jarvis: “The thought never entered my mind, Captain. I merely suggest it might be prudent to enlist the aid of a few worthy friends as you have done so successfully in the past. Strength in numbers, sir. I could hold your coat. And besides, I would like to have my old job back.”

The Captain: “Pretty sly, Jarvis. I think maybe we’ve been electing the wrong man chairman of the Avengers all these years!”

Pretty sly, indeed!

But yes, Steve! Put the Avengers back together! Even if its the Worst Roster!

Also, he takes off his mysterious coat and hat and runs off. Just in case anyone didn’t get that it was Steve Rogers the Captain somehow.

Glory Garsen practically squeals over meeting the original Captain America.

But Jarvis gets melancholic because what woman wouldn’t prefer Steve Rogers over a guy like Jarvis.

Glory reassures him that she didn’t stalk him halfway across Manhattan to give up on him now. She’s still very insistent that Jarvis be her boyfriend.

She’s not looking for a superhero, just a man both gentle and courageous and dammit she thinks she’s found that in Jarvis.

So Jarvis agrees to date her. And they start dating.

It doesn’t look like she shows up all that often after this. And one wonders why write a story where a seemingly younger woman throws herself at Jarvis.

I mean, I know he’s a catch. You know he’s a catch. But why was this narrative conceived and executed?

We may never know.

And its maybe not the best sign for their relationship that Jarvis internally congratulates himself on saying a cool thing and can’t wait to tell his mom about it.

But whatever! Jarvis had a good day! A whole issue to himself. He fought a car twice. Fought a phone. Saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Set the wheels in motion for the Avengers reforming. Got stalked by a woman until he agreed to date her.

A good day for Jarvis!

Follow @essential-avengers for all the Jarvis content the Avengers provides. Even if it always falls short of how much Jarvis content we’d like. Like and reblog and comment, maybe. I love attention and feedback.

#essential avengers #avengers #a car that is more than meets the eye #an angry phone #an unreliable subway #Edwin Jarvis #the Captain #Steve Rogers #Glory Garsen #Peter Parker #a normal everyday young adult about town #Mrs Jarvis #cast list is pretty thin in this issue #essential marvel liveblogging

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valentinagarridos · 2 years

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in which val garrido can't powerpoint.

"Alright fives, a ten is speaking. You already know who I am: Valentina Isabel Garrido-Vidal, and this is my presentation!"

how many drinks she's had: three glasses of moscato and one ( 1 ) pisco punch how serious she's taking this: as serious as she takes everything else in life how long it took to make: a lunch break and one night later...you get this

"Think about it...really think, if you were gonna get a divorce with someone would this even cross your mind? The Garridos have strong family values, and separating two girls like this seems...wrong. They didn't think it through."

"I know you'd be inclined to think I'm just siding with Meredith because of our glaring similarities, but objectively speaking ( and from her perspective ) she really wasn't doing anything wrong. Anyhow, these are just some points."

"This one is really self-explanatory. It's almost giving Bill Clinton, wait— yeah, actually it's giving Bill Clinton here, if you really think about it. The archetypes are there, and then the marriage is intact by the end of the movie. Oh, you guys!"

"That being said, what sides of tiktok are you all on?"

"Once again self explanatory. She would vibe with Miranda Priestly, and in another life she could've been Regina George's mom. As far as the other two, the aesthetic is there and I really do think she could walk on set and work it."

"Hear me out...you guys are currently a captive audience, so you have to but...I'm asking anyhow. I was getting pictures of Meredith Blake off of Google and a lightbulb went off in my head, so the PowerPoint originally ended there but."

"I would hope everyone in the room was already of the opinion, but if you weren't before, you are now. Thanks. I wont elaborate on why I get their questionable taste in men, if you know then keep it to yourself."

"Anyhow, here we have exhibit A. And it's a prime example of why you shouldn't compete where you don't compare."

"Exhibit B; this is like copying your friend's homework and trying to differentiate it enough wherein the teacher wont notice."

"Exhibit C..."

"Thank you for listening! Other ideas left on the cutting room floor where: why my mom is wrong about red wine being superior; Linguine from Ratatouille is just Jim from the Office; why financial crimes are the best use of the annual Purge."

bonus...reactions to danny and tommy's powerpoints:

I don't know which part of this slide really pushed Valentina over the edge but— no, that's not true, it's the fact that Tommy said nothing and just winked at her. Trust me when I say she was laughing at the other ones ( laughing behind her hand but doing so nonetheless ), and then this slide pops up, and she chokes on her drink. He's lucky it's not anything that could leave a stain. And he's gonna get an ear full the minute he's done and Val can drag him off into a corner.

See, this one she laughs at if only to keep from visibly grimacing. It would have been pathetic had Valentina dished all she did without knowing how to receive it in return. So she takes it in stride, it's a fun night among 'friends' and its not like she cares whether he means it in jest or in seriousness. What a waste of a good picture though, he could've just moved the "STOP" over to the side and it would've had the same effect. Why try to cover her ( very ) pretty face?

#she doesn't have a single funny bone in her body thnx #no one is a five in the room she's joking but pls #but she tried #i didn't know what to do with her intro but now i have it in my head that she always enters a room with a gender neutral greeting like this #&&. task 001 #mysterytask #&&. tasks to do

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sheltershock · 1 year

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When I was younger I didn’t really understand like “band loyalty” with music tastes, when you listen to one artist’s stuff. I kinda get it now. A musician makes a piece you like, so you seek out other pieces because you’ll like those too. I get that now. Because I like specific YouTubers, and I’ve always been like that. But that’s audio and visual. Music is just audio. It’s just lyrics with a musical backdrop.

Music gives you this unique experience you get when you read poetry, except you have accompanying instrumentals to set the mood and tone. To me, music is just poetry. And you don’t get pictures with poetry, you have to make the pictures in your head. The same is true with music. You hear words to a story, feel the emotions and progression, and you experience that music with a little piece of yourself. That’s what art does it’s a communication from the artist to the audience. Music is just like a medium for storytelling.

But I also think music is like a prompt generator. Art is created out of this universal experience of being alive. So all art will inspire or spark something within you that you can resonate with. The stories music tells are all self contained, but they can inspire new ones based on your own interests and experiences. Oftentimes the music I listen to either a. Has a good story b. Resonates on some level(aka I like how it sounds) or c. Correlates in some way to a story or character I already have in my head. So just because some musician that made a song I liked made another one that doesn’t mean I’d personally like it.

But I’ve seen people be like “man, I’m a huge fan of X band.” And I don’t really get it. Which also makes it hard to say what I like. I guess I could say I like listening to game soundtracks, EDM and rock, but being suggested something in that category doesn’t mean I’d like it. But I often hear stuff like “oh if you like X, then you gotta check out Y!” But the idea of purposefully seeking out new music specifically is strange to me. It kinda just accumulates for me. I come across a song in a video, or in a store, or in a game or show, listen to it on loop for about a hundred times, put it in my playlist and move on. The idea of listening to an artist to see if you like something just sounds exhausting and time consuming. There’s music everywhere, just listen while you’re about your day and you’ll find some new music eventually.

Something in particular about “band loyalty” I especially don’t like is when people claim that they were fans of a band before they were popular. Like in the comment section of a lyric/music video of a popular sound bite, and be like “if you were here before TikTok then you have good tastes.” What is deal with this pointless gatekeeping? Shouldn’t you be happy that your band/musician is getting attention? Why does it matter if I discovered this sound off of an fan edit or a sound bite or an animatic?

It reminds me of the other day I was playing some music in the car with my mom and she asked “where did you hear this?” I was just shocked by the question itself. What do you mean where? There music literally everywhere. In stores, in restaurants, on radio, in movies, in media in general. Hell, just walk into the middle of an open field and there will be sound. Asking how I accumulate music is like asking me where I like to pick up the air I like to breathe. Like, it’s everywhere??? The answer to the question was the radio at the store I work at, but I don’t really see how that mattered. If I told you I first heard it at restaurant would your enjoyment decrease? Why does it matter if I heard it from a TikTok trend?

I dunno if this a common experience or not, since I don’t hear people talk about this. I’ve never been particularly attached to “mainstream media” so yeah. I’m writing this in case someone does experience music in a similar way so maybe they can feel a little bit more seen. And if you do: hello! I guess we can know that we vibe together!

#music #songs #poetry #are those okay to tag? They seem pretty general #for anyone saying “what about music videos” I don’t particularly like those since it has the “official/final visual interpretation” feeling #i think some music videos are good but I don’t think just dancing to the lyrics adds to the musical experience #it’s a song. People dance to songs. What new thing is being added?#I just had some thoughts about music tonight #shelti rambles

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public-school-quotes · 1 year

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(submitted by someone i wish i could tag not my shit whoever did this because tumblr won’t let me see it i love you)

i am just going to make a masterpost of my school’s shenanigans

a: “ill tell you where its from after we get outta hearing range of (teacher). dont wanna get in trouble“ has gotten in trouble for swearing^

b: “(name) most of the things you say would get you in trouble”

a: “.. fair”

c (teacher) was proctoring and so we were in another classroom. he walked in, and immediately said “whats up knuckleheads”

d: “bbq beans???? its 07:11!!!”

e: “yeah”

f: “hand or mouth?”

g: “teeth”

f: “no”

h: “no”

a“please add arson (to a story) if you didn’t already”

b“that’s their first date wtf”

b“i want to add a dark turn to my story but half of the characters are already dead”

a “kill another”

b “hes gonna die later!”

a “whats wrong with a necromancy”

b“he already died once already!”

a“whats wrong with a SECOND necromancy?”

b“he only has 9 lives”

a“what about 100th necromancy?”

a“stab and run!”- quoting a list of crimes

b“thats a 6 year old”

a“what”

b”ripping out organs wasnt an issue”

a”oh thats just tuesday!”

b”what are you scared of?”

a“someone opening my writing app and reading it… (this bitch wrote porn!)and also the koolaid man.”

b”ohyeah”

(about pot stickers (the food)at school)

a “the outside of this tastes like pasta… lasagna ass bitch”

d: a

a: yea?

d: go home!

a: ok (turns around and leaves, mom picked her up)

“let go of the tree!”

“it makes oxygen for me i love it”

i just. saw a kid taking a swig of honey. it is nine in the morning. why. i am in fear

a “i dont care if its good i care if its done because mine sure isnt”

b “insurance???”

b “but seriously. how do you tone (english class)”

a “………….. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

c “austria said ‘its mine! kick rocks.’”

c “austria said ‘i want to control it all because i have problems and therapy doesn’t exist yet’”

c “idk what you learn in b r a i n c l a s s” about psychology

i “i will cut out your spleen if you dont”

a “…”

i “jokes on u im into that shit”

a “do i even have a spleen?????”

i “NOT WHEN IM DONE WITH YOU!!! YOU WONT HAVE A PROBOSCUS. wait do you know how to spell that cuz i sure dont”

c throwing a basketball at the hoop “LEEBRON”

he missed

c “for michael jacksons legacy” missed bball shot

c “theres some guy! hanging from a Thing there!”

c “hes crying on a donkey! name something more sad!”

a“crying not on a donkey, donkeys are expensive”

a kid showed off his playboy hoodie to our teacher. she did not know where the logo is from and he walks a free man

a (hands croc to a mf): i entrust you with this to protect yourself and the money

g immediately: threateans a known kleptomaniac with the croc in defence of 5 high-schoolers pizza money

i took a yearbook picture of my friend pretending to draw in a notebook with a stylus for a touchscreen. will they notice? will they put it in the yearbook? who knows! only time will tell!

a “the pile of ppl are growing!”

a “there is a guy on the floor here. .. he is scuttling..”

g “hey colonoscopy man. leave.”

colonoscopy man “you talked to jesus didn’t you”

g “colonoscopy man leave”

j “stop mistreating- manhandling my banana”

honorable mention: molotov soaptail which caused emotional support among us

#submission #i am sorry for this much stuff my school is floridian #public school #school #quotes #inspirational #inspiring quotes #teachers #teacher #school quotes #i love you #i support every decision you make #do it #except not the bad things #be alive #being alive is great

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diosmio76 · 3 years

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What I Deserve (2) | soft Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky couldn’t believe his luck when he found you. So innocent, so alone, and so naive. He had been following you throughout the week, hell- he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore and you never noticed him once.

Pairing: Dark!Bucky x Reader

WARNINGS: +18, dub-con, needle use, stalking, fingering, kidnapping, kind of non-con (more dub-con but just incase)

Word Count: 3,076

A/N: my timeline on which version of Barnes is fucked up and a mix of everything honestly // my first ever time writing smut, and honestly I'm open to constructive criticism b/c I have no experience in this area LOLZ

You squeezed your eyes as you stretched your body. Feeling your comforter rise and fall against your skin from your movements. You hung your feet off your bed and stretched them before standing up. You did your usual set of morning stretches, were they done correctly? Probably not, but it was the thought that counts and the only form of self-care you gave yourself. You let out a sigh as you got ready for another day similar to all the rest. You don’t even remember what it felt like to be excited about waking up, but who were you to complain. You used the toilet as you went back and forth in your mind about nothing in particular, your eyes staring at your bed that was quickly losing the warmth it collected from your body. Once done in the bathroom you dragged yourself to your vanity, hearing the faint noise of cars on the street, you began getting ready for work. After changing and grabbing your tattered work bag, you began your journey with all the other commuters.

The day dragged on like any other, talking to coworkers only when they needed something from you. Hearing the usual remarks of “Oh, I didn’t notice you” or “I didn’t even see you there”, you got used to it but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you. Before you had time to dwell on it, it was time to go home. You packed your bag then began your walk home, following the same route you always take during the week. Taking a little solstice in the fact that you were just another face in the crowd, that fact made you feel as if everyone else was alone too. Once home you locked the door and dropped your bag, heading to the bedroom you changed into an oversized shirt and put on your slippers before heading towards the living room. You turned on the tv and lowered the volume for some background noise, making the short trip towards the kitchen to make dinner. You rarely got messages on your phone unless it was from your mom or your phone provider wanting you to update your old phone, so you scrolled mindlessly through various social media newsfeeds. You munched on a vegetable as you waited for your pan to heat up. You tried to not feel bad for yourself, you were the one to blame for the lack of social life but you were in too deep. Too set in your ways. You stared at the steaming pan as you imagined moving across the country.

“Yeah right” you said aloud to yourself as you finished cooking your dinner, eating the food but not really tasting it.

~~~

You repeated the same routine the next day, unbeknownst to you today was the day that Bucky decided you were ready. It didn’t take him long to find a house isolated by miles of forest. Despite its unassuming traditional exterior, the inside was modern as he enjoyed the impersonal nature that the style provided. He spent the majority of his time there making sure the house was locked and secure in case you tried anything. The thought made him laugh a little, knowing you didn’t have it in you but he didn’t want to take any chances. Things had been going his way lately, and finding you was like the universe was rewarding him even more. At first, he considered getting to know you, and doing the whole flowers and dates thing but decided he didn’t have the patience for all that waiting, he’s been waiting long enough and he deserved something good. He settled on a much easier method. Breaking in was easy, old apartments like this barely gave him any trouble. He even had someone hold the building door open for him, just his luck.

The lock felt weird when you opened your door but you didn’t think anything of it, dismissing it as another sign of the building’s old age. He watched from afar as you went about your usual routine. He was beginning to become skeptical at how oblivious you were. He was practically behind you and you hadn’t even looked over your shoulder once. He even made some accidental noises by stepping on squeaky floorboards and didn’t get a reaction from you, he took this as another lucky break. You were tired today and fell asleep relatively easily, considering how long it typically took you to fall asleep. Bucky walked around your apartment as he waited for you to enter a deeper sleep, familiar with everything since he had been in here a few times since first spotting you all those weeks ago. He looked at your book collection, a mix of genres, and looked closer at the few photos you had on display. A majority of the old photos seemed to be of your family from decades ago. He picked up one that seemed more recent, the only one you had up that included you. He recognized the other two people in it, your mom and sister, both busy with their own lives. He already sized up your family and it would be easy to handle them if he needed to.

He walked into your bathroom and went through your medicine cabinet, finding nothing out of the ordinary besides a few nail polish bottles and various allergy medicines. Finally, he noticed the soft snores coming out of your room. He shut the cabinet, staring at his reflection for a second. He knew this was the right thing to do and had no bad intention. He softly grunted at his pathetic moment of self-reflection and took out a needle filled with a small dose of anesthesia. He observed you for a moment as you slept, mouth slightly agape and eyebrows relaxed, he considered for a moment how easy it would be to take you, but reminded himself of the bigger picture. He easily found a vein and waited a few minutes before taking you to your new home.

~~~

You squeezed your eyes shut and smiled to yourself as you thought about how well you slept last night. You hummed as you kept your eyes closed briefly noticing the absence of warmth that the morning sun provided you in the mornings. You thought nothing of it, too distracted by the fact that this was probably the best night’s sleep you’d gotten in months. Despite that you still felt a little groggy, you began to move but quickly felt something rough holding you down. Your eyes shot open as your breathing began to quicken. You became conscious of the rough restraints around your arms and legs. You awkwardly lifted your head up as you tried to look around, it looked like a basement based on the unfinished walls surrounding you, a single lightbulb hanging above you on the unfinished ceiling. You attempted to calm yourself down by deeply inhaling but knew it was a lost cause once you heard the shaky exhale leave your mouth. You knew you couldn’t break free from the knotted rope holding you down. You had weak arms and tried to use your leg strength in an attempt to kick yourself free but felt it begin to sting as it irritated your ankles from the pressure. You sat in a deafening silence and felt completely petrified.

You let out a whimper as you heard footsteps approaching the door. The door opened as you saw a tall, broad man approach you. You were too scared to notice anything about him and began to feel yourself shake, causing you to miss the way he hungrily reacted to your frightened state. A shadow was cast on you as he stood over the bed. From the corner of your eye, you watched as his right hand lowered the comforter to your torso and expose your shirt as you twitched at the action. He smirked in response, your eyes following his hand as it hovered over the comforter as though he was going to do something. It exited your line of sight but your eyes were fixed in place. You heard movement as he straightened himself before speaking to you for the first time.

“Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for most of the day” His deep voice filled the room as you kept shaking, too scared to answer. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and wondered if he could too, but he was too busy trailing his eyes over your torso. He noticed the way your nipples created peaks on your oversized shirt. He licked his lips before he moved his hand up to grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You did your best at avoiding his gaze keeping your gaze low, you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control your shaking but felt it intensify instead.

Still gripping your chin, a little tighter than necessary, and trying to control your shaking body got him hard. You looked so weak like this, it made him excited, a wicked smile painted his face as he looked down at your wide eyes and lips clamped together in terror.

“Look at me when I talk to you, doll”

You had a difficult time looking people in the eyes in general, so you lifted your eyes and stopped at his chin. You didn’t dare go any higher. He squeezed on your chin and heard him let out an amused chuckle. If you weren’t so terrified you would have noticed how out of place it sounded given the situation.

“That’ll have to do, for now, I can tell you’re terrified but you really have no reason to be. I only want to do what’s best for you- for us, I’m only doing what needs to be done.” He didn’t expect a response and stared at you as he let you sit with his words.

He took a moment and let his hand trail down from your chin. He felt the nervous swallow as his pointer finger trailed lower and lower. His finger deviated from its straight path as he placed his palm against your chest, pausing to feel your heartbeat racing. He almost felt sorry as he felt its frantic rhythm. He couldn’t help himself as he cupped your left breast. His thumb gently circling around the hard bud. You scrunched your eyebrows and scolded yourself for getting pleasure from his action. His gentle touch was a strong contrast to the situation he had put you in.

His finger continued its journey down and stopped just above your mound. You swallowed as you felt his eyes staring at you intently, not daring to see if you were right. He lifted his hand momentarily as he moves to sit next to you, hearing the springs groan under him, pushing the comforter towards the bottom of the bed. You get chills as warmth escapes, feeling the crisp air conditioning surround your body instead. Jerking at his touch, he returns his right hand to your body just below your navel this time. His fingers trace down until it feathered above your mound. You held your breath as if any noise from you would assure that he would continue his actions as if he would forget you were there. You felt his pause when his fingers hit the material of your cotton underwear. He slowly traces a short line along your clit, you ball your hands into fists wanting to make him stop. Why was your body enjoying this?

You hold your breath as he gently pulls them down till they were at your knees and returns his hand to its previous place. The empty room is quiet, amplifying the sound of both of your breaths. You feel his middle and ring finger move lower gently stroking your folds. You hear him let out a surprised huff as he continued stroking.

“I was gonna bring lube, but it looks like we won’t be needing it, huh sweetheart?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, he was right. You felt heat building ever since he grabbed your chin, but he didn’t need to know that. All you wanted to do was at the very least was cover your face, but felt the irritation of the rope on your wrists instead. He began back and forth on your heat for a few moments. The room now having the added noise of his fingers slowly speeding up as he stroked you. You shut your eyes as he circled around your entrance, you could already tell his fingers would be significantly bigger than yours. He slowly inserted a finger as you sucked in a quick breath. You could hear him let out a quiet groan as he watched his finger disappear into your hole.

After finding a rhythm he added another finger. You let out a whimper at the fullness of both of his thick fingers filling your hole. It stung at first, hurting slightly you wanted to try and stop his intrusion. Besides your finger, you had never had anything else inside of you. You felt slightly embarrassed by this when you were younger but as you got older you accepted the fact that your lack of social life was a major reason as to why you never had anything close to a romantic partner. Never being social enough to meet someone that you would want to be friends with, let alone sleep with. You felt as though you should tell this man, did you even know his name, that this was the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone before. Before you think any more about it you open your mouth, nothing coming out at first but it was enough for his eyes to go to your face. He slowed down his pace and had his eyes trained on your face waiting for you to speak as if his fingers weren’t leisurely stroking your soft walls in the meantime.

“I- I think I need to tell you something” The words left you slowly and your voice was shakey as you tried to speak and ignore your oncoming orgasm at his rough fingers stroking you gently. Why did you feel like you owed him this? You briefly thought to yourself. But it was too late to stop now.

He smirked at you as he waited for you to continue on. So far, you’ve shown him nothing but submissiveness. Cementing the fact that he made the right choice when he chose you. He didn’t plan on being this gentle with you originally but he couldn’t help it, feeling as though any other treatment would scare you away. His fingers never stopping their gentle strokes, he watched your lips as your quiet voice trembled on.

“I’ve never really, I haven’t done any of this before. I’m a virgin” the words leave you slowly, you gulp and still refuse to meet his gaze, scared for a moment that you would lose the gentleness he has given you thus far. You knew that wouldn’t stop him, but a small part of you hoped it would be enough for him to stop just for now. For the first time you decided to look at his face, still too scared to meet his eyes you opted to watch his mouth as you waited for a response.

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. You had chosen to tell him this on your own, he didn’t even get a chance to ask you. He didn’t want to assume but based on his observations of you he had an inkling that this was the case. He felt proud of you, his perfect girl. He smiled gently at you in response. You shivered as his fingers paused their gentle strokes in you as he moved to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for telling me, my good girl” it sounded patronizing but your body thought otherwise. Feeling heat shoot straight to your core at his response. He felt you squeeze around his fingers at his response.

Once he felt that you adjusted to his fingers he began to alternate inserting them. Thrusting one and then the other inside of you. Your eyes squeezed shut, you never felt this close to cumming so quickly. Your eyes swelled with tears as you quietly sobbed, reaching your climax. Both of you watched as he pulled his fingers out of your sensitive heat. Covered in slick from your climax. You watched as he moved his fingers close to his face, smirking at you.

“Just a little taste for now,” he said he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck on his two fingers that were just inside you seconds ago. The empty room amplified the sound, your face felt hot as you watched the lewd act feeling your core still throbbing.

He reveled in your obvious embarrassment, humming at your reaction. He wiped his damp fingers on his pants as he got up. You blinked slowly, taking in what had just happened. You had enjoyed what had just happened but felt angry at yourself for that. He shouldn’t have done that, and you had let yourself succumb to his fingers so easily. He watched you, deep in thought with your eyes spaced out. His cock throbbed as if reminding him he needed a release too but he didn’t want to scare you. He had a plan, but you had just showed him that he didn’t have to be as rough as he initially thought with you. And he wouldn’t ever admit it but he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, as soon as he interacted with you it was almost as if he needed to handle you with care. Something that he thought wasn’t in his nature, but for you, maybe he’d try.

He felt his confident demeanor waver for a second, an odd feeling. He needed to get away from her and have a moment alone, so with a quick glance, he turned towards the door and practically ran out of the room without speaking to her.

Too busy thinking, you didn’t notice the foreign feelings your captor had just experienced. Only noticing this broad figure leaving the room as if he was late for something. If you weren’t so busy scolding yourself you would have wondered if you had done something wrong to elicit that action from him.

#bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider x reader #stalker!bucky #stalker!bucky x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #soft!bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagines #marvel imagines #soft dark!bucky #bean writes

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donutloverxo · 3 years

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NSFW alphabet | Chris Evans

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - This is written just for fun. I don't know Chris or what he likes lol. I also don't own the alphabet format.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Warnings - rpf, smut, daddy kink, d/s relationship, dom Chris, anal stuff, semi public sex, spanking, sex toys, praise kink.

Word count - 2.5k

A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Chris is clingy as fuck after sex. He’ll hold you close to his heart (you being the lil spoon of course) and not let go the entire night. With soft kisses on your face, hair and on any bruises he might have left on you. With some pillow talk about how his love for you can overwhelm him sometimes, that he can’t imagine not having you not that he gets to have a taste of you almost every night. Sometimes he likes to listen to you talk about your day, or share a deep secret you hadn’t told anyone else.

His clinginess is something you adore. Something which you would usually be fine with, how he just could not keep his hands off of you, but when you’re somewhere tropical and hot it becomes a bit of a problem.

You were visiting him while he was filming for red Sea diving resort, after seeing him in the beard and the longer hair you couldn’t help yourself and you just jumped on him. After some hot and sweaty sex, you had moved away from him a little, with your back to him you wiped the sheen off of your forehead with the back of your hand, trying to fan yourself with your own hand, ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he had growled. Not wanting even an inch of distance between the two of you. You tried to protest because you needed to cool off but eventually gave in.

B=Body Part (Their favorite body part)

Everyone knows the answer to this. He likes your ass the most. It doesn’t matter if it’s a flat ass or a thick one he’ll love it the same because it’s a part of you. He likes to smack it, he likes looking at it, he may even like to fuck it. Some stretch marks would just be the cherry on top.

His next favorite would have to be your hips. He loves to see their silhouette through your yoga pants or jeans, or even a dress. After a night of some rough fucking they usually bear his handprints which he loves obviously because it’s almost like he branded you as his own.

C=Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

It’s always a battle with the two of you when it comes to cumming. Because Chris likes to see your body covered in his seed, particularly your face, ass and breasts, and you like to have him do it inside you, be it your pussy or your mouth.

Which he doesn’t mind obviously, he likes the idea of his spend being in your tummy, but he also likes taking pictures of your ass covered with his spunk. You just look so pretty when he comes on your face🥺

D=Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Chris has fucked you in more bathrooms than you can remember. It’s become a thing or almost a ritual now. Whenever he takes you to an event or a party, or just a casual dinner at his family or friends house, you’ll end up on your knees in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth, or he’ll worship you and eat you out till you literally can’t even walk straight.

It started when you accompanied him to an important event, he was extremely anxious. And you felt helpless because you didn’t know how to make him feel better. But you did know one thing that always lifts his mood up. So you dragged him to the men’s room and sucked him off. He was much relaxed the rest for the evening thanks to you.

E= Experience (How experienced are they?)

VERY. He’s extremely experienced. He has a lot of knowledge and puts it to good use on you. Which can be a little daunting if you’re more on the inexperienced side but don’t ne afraid. He’ll train you really well, you just have to be a good girl and listen.

F= Favorite Position

His favorite position would be doggy style. Where he’s doing from behind, with you on your hands and knees, or with your head down and ass perched up to him because you never can stay up right when he’s doing you so well. He has full access to your ass, if you’re okay with it he would use his fingers on you, spank your ass. He loves to grab your hips or your ass and your breasts.

He’s also a huge fan of missionary. Because he can’t see your pretty face, or look into your eyes from behind. Most days he wants intimacy and to show you how much he loves you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Depends on his mood. Sometimes he’s a bit goofy, like talking in a comically exaggerated Boston accent when you told him you liked the sound of his voice and how his accent becomes more prominent when he is horny.

But most of the times, he’s in control. He has to maintain some composure so you wouldn’t question who’s really in charge or think that you could get away with anything. Because you know how to make him laugh, and if he let’s you do that he couldn’t keep a straight face while punishing you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Chris has dark Brown pubic hair, like that of his beard and the hair on his head.

Does anyone remember that term ‘manscaping'? Where dudes trim their pubic hair to make their dicks look bigger. Chris definitely does that. Although he doesn’t need to because like if he got any bigger he might split you in two.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Doesn’t matter if you’re making love, or fucking hard it will always be intimate and loving with Chris in one way or another.

If you feel needy, and like you want him to show you how much he loves you, you just have to sit on his lap, bat your lashes at him, show him your puppy eyes, and hump his leg a little. He’d get the sign and take you to bed, slowly dragging his cock in and out of you, drawing it out for the both of you, his fingers laced with yours, pinned above your head. He’d feast on your breasts and nipples the whole time just so you could feel his love and need for days.

If you’re feeling particularly frisky, or in a mood to piss him off just so he could be rough with you without you having to ask, you can just give him attitude or roll your eyes a lot. He’ll spank your ass raw, or edge you for hours, or make you climax till it literally hurts, depends on his mood really, to teach you some manners. But since you like the punishment you never learn.

Even while he’s got you over his knee, you not wearing anything but the diamond necklace he gave you, your cheeks wet from crying for the past fifteen minutes, your ass on fire but you still had to take more from him. He tsked, reprimanding you for ruining his expensive dress pants with your slick, playing with your intimate lips, he’d say while stroking your head, “It’s okay, baby, daddy still loves you. Even when you get on my nerves.”

Even while fucking you like he hated you, he made you felt loved and as if you were the most precious person in the world.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When you started dating, Chris would often masturbate to the thought of you. But when you started sleeping together he never felt the need to, and you asked him not to do it anymore because you didn’t want him wasting his cummies.

Which might’ve been a huge mistake in hindsight because you revealed a weakness of yours. Now when he REALLY wants to punish you, he’d just tie you up jerk off his cock right before your eyes, “See this, sweetheart? I could be fucking your sweet pussy right now, and making you feel good too, but you had go and be a bad girl.” He’d come all over your face or breasts, and would of course make you come too if he feels you’ve learned your lesson.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Chris has a huge daddy kink. He doesn’t just like the title, he likes everything that comes along with it.

He likes that he has to take care of you, in and outside if the bedroom, being a daddy is a 24/7 job, he has to be considerate to you and grateful for all the trust and love you give him.

He also really likes pinning you down. Whether it be during play wrestling or during sex, it makes him feel strong, and it drives you crazy, absolutely feral for him.

L=Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Yeah you’ve had your share of sneaking off to do it during events but his favorite place to do it would be in the privacy of his own home, preferably his bed so that your dog won’t walk in on you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you simply say, “Screw me.” That would probably be more than enough to turn him on and fulfil your request.

But what grinds his gears is seeing you in tight clothing, or the kind of clothes that would show off your assets. If you’re a good mom to dodger, if you show an interest in the things he likes or do anything that would make his heart flutter and make him fall more in love with you.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never have proper public sex because that would probably interfere with his public image and work. Other than that he’s pretty open to most things.

He also wouldn’t like to invite anyone else to your bedroom or to share you. It is a nice fantasy for him but way too risky.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes both giving and receiving equally. He likes having you on your back where he can see your face while he explores your intimate walls with his tongue, but he also likes to have you ride his face. You were apprehensive to at first, but with some convincing you agreed.

Sixtynine is another one of his favorites. He never actually had to ask for it. You were sitting on his face, holding onto his stomach and screaming when you felt your orgasm approaching, he pushed your head just a little, you got the hint, and started working on his cock, which was painfully hard.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

It would usually depend on what kinda day it is and how you’re both feeling. But most of the time he is usually slow but at the same time rough. Where his thrusts are drawn out but also impactful.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Chris loves quickies. Bending you over the kitchen counter, a quick session in the afternoon on the couch when things got a little too heated while cuddling, in his trailor while he’s on a break, in the shower where he can make you dirty before cleaning you up. You made it.

But he wouldn’t prefer them over proper sex ever. Usually he likes to take his time with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

He’s game to experiment to a certain extent. Even if he’s skeptical about something he’d keep an open mind and give it a shot for you.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

He’s a fit and motivated man so he can last for a long time and go for many rounds. It’s more likely for you to be tired and tapped out than for him.

If it was a long day on set, and if he’s a little exhausted then he may not be able to go more than once. But will make up for it when he can.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You both own a variety of butt plugs and vibrators, silky ties, blindfolds, handcuffs that Chris likes to use on you. You even bought a ball gag asking him to put it on you, which was the only time you ever used it because Chris liked to hear your voice and for you to call him daddy or say his name. You couldn’t do it with your mouth full.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Chris teases you a lot, but he would be a MASSIVE tease if he was a little more patient. He knows the effect he has on you. How you can’t take your eyes off him when he wears a t-shirt that’s a bit too tight and shows off his arms, how you can’t help but grab his butt sometimes and feel him up. When you bite your lip or look away when he catches you staring. If you get caught, be prepared because he will only do it more just to egg you on.

His touches a bit too light, he’d bring you to the edge and leave you just there. But fortunately it won’t last long because usually he’s the one who ends up getting riled up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s loud alright. And he isn’t ashamed of it. He would never try to hide how good you make him feel, or miss an opportunity to call you a good girl and praise your gorgeous body. There will be lots of grunting and groaning and moaning and you revel in every second of it.

X = X-Ray (Let s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s pretty big. Much bigger than average. He looked pretty average when he wasn’t hard, you let that fool you into thinking you could take him pretty easily, he wasn’t that much bigger than anyone else you’d had sex with right?

Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you saw him hard, his dick hard and thick and a blush pink, two thick running on the sides of it.

He assured you that he would make it fit and that you had nothing to be worried about.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty high. Higher than most people at least. You call him your horndog, but like in a nice way, because he always wants it. Even if you spent an entire night screaming his name and being used and stretched in ways that made your pussy as well as your body sore, he would still ask for more the very next morning. He’d respect you if you say no and back off immediately but he’s up for it whenever you want.

ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has things on his mind, and if you fall asleep sooner than usual then he’d be up a while. But most of the times he falls asleep quickly after.

#chris evans x reader #chris evans alphabet #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #steve rogers x reader #chris evans headcanons

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adrianrainesfangs · 2 years

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Currently trying to decide if Heisenberg would be

The aggressive soccer mom type, as well as being the cool parents that most kids at the school like

"Come on, kiddo! You can run faster than that!"

"Oh, you must be my kid's classmate. Why are you still here? School let out 2 hours ago...No one has come to get you? Tell me where you live, I'll take you home."

"Yeah sure you can come over, but I need to check my calendar to see if my kid has any plans."

The parent every kid fears because of ONE incident

"Someone's bullying you? Who is it, I'll punch their teeth in."

"You gave my kid an F on their essay about their family? WHY WOULD THEY LIE ABOUT THEIR FAMILY BEING FULL OF LORDS RULING OVER A VILLAGE?"

"If I see your kid punch mine one more time, they won't have a hand to punch with."

The PTA dad

"Brenda, I have more important things to do instead of sit here and listen to your bitching. Get on with it."

"At least MY kid can make a good science project. We all know you made that baking soda volcano."

"Your cookies taste like shit, linda."

"Mommy, what's shit?"

"It's the first ingredient your mom used to make you."

#karl headcanons #karl heisenberg #lord heisenberg #re8 village #resident evil #resident evil heisenberg

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jj-babebank · 3 years

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Camp Willowdale / JJ Maybank AU / PART 8

Synopsis: Camp Willowdale is buzzing with new campers. It’s Caroline Windsor’s first year as a camp counsellor after attending the camp as a camper for ten years. Little does she know that this year Willowdale Lake is going to be a little different from what she is used to it being…

Warnings: future chapters may include curse words, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of death.

Pairings: JJ Maybank x fem OC Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4; Part 5 ; Part 6 ; Part 7

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 8 –

49 days of summer camp left

Caroline sat in her bed, hugging her knees against her chest. Her and JJ had the afternoon off and despite his attempts to lure her into hanging out, and her infatuation with the boy, she’d turned him down, wanting to spend a few hours alone with herself to compose her thoughts. It had been exactly two weeks since the night Madison disappeared. No one had bothered to mess with the campers since then, the bonfire area hadn’t been touched and no dead animals were found in anyone’s suitcase. To the rest of the camp, this seemed like victory; to Caroline – it seemed like the calm before the storm.

During their first day at Camp Willowdale, all of the counselors had been given a Willowdale-branded set of items they’d have to use during their stay. It came with the obvious STAFF t-shirts, sweaters and hats, but it also consisted of other things – such as the thermoses Caroline and JJ were still using to sneak whiskey into their daily routines, and notebooks in which they were advised to plan out their group’s daily schedules. Caroline however had been using her notebook for other purposes. She’d become so obsessed with Madison’s case, that every little thing that happened on camp grounds and seemed even a little out of the ordinary, immediately became a clue to her, which she’d hastily scribble down in her notebook. It had only been two weeks since the disappearance of Madison Hague and Caroline had already filled about a quarter of the pages of her hefty notebook with potential clues and leads. She kept rereading her notes, trying to think of something – anything – that they could do to help them solve the mystery, however nothing was coming to her. Ever since the dress incident, Caroline and her friends hadn’t found anything else that could relate to Madison, though Caroline was glad that none of them had given up on their mission.

Caroline was so deep in her own thoughts, she nearly jumped at the sound of a sudden knock on the door. She quickly closed her notebook and tucked it under her mattress and went to open the door, revealing a panting JJ leaning on the doorframe.

“Hey, C,” he breathed.

“JJ, what’re you doing here? I told you I -”

JJ cut her off by pushing past her and walking into her cabin, “Yeah, yeah, you wanna be alone, I know,” he sat on her bed, taking his snapback off, “but I was thinking… you’ve been so busy with the kids and with the whole Madison thing, and believe me – I really appreciate you for being like that, but -”

Caroline crossed her arms, “Where are you going with this?”

JJ sighed, “You’ve just totally forgotten how to have fun, C,” he said, “The primary reason that we all came here was to have fun and look at you – you barely eat, or sleep, or do anything other than your counselor duties and this whole Madison investigation thing…” JJ sighed again, looking at the hat in his lap and playing with its adjustable strap, “All I’m saying, C, is what if Madison really did go home and you’ve just wasted all this energy on nothing…Thing is,” JJ looked up into her eyes, “I miss you, the old you, and I know that that you’s still somewhere in there, it’s just this whole Madison thing blocking it.” he placed the hat back on his head and stood up, walking towards Caroline, “Hang out with me now,” he said, stopping directly in front of her and lifting her chin up so that she was facing him, “And I promise we’ll think about Madison later,”

Caroline couldn’t really process what was going on. JJ was touching her and standing in such an intimate distance from her, that she could basically feel his breath on her face. For a second she forgot all about Madison, and the dead owl, and the bonfire area. All she could think about was JJ Maybank, who had just told her that he misses her and wants to “hang out with her”. Caroline stood there, lost in thought. What if he was right? What if Madison really did go home and that dress never even belonged to her? What if it was Jenna Kinley’s all along and Sarah had just gotten the perfume wrong? What if JJ really did miss her because he liked her as more than a friend? No, no, that couldn’t be it. But what if –

“Um, Carrie?” JJ’s voice suddenly broke her out of her trans, “So d’you wanna do something together or -”

“Yes!” she said, a little too excitedly for her own taste, of course I’d like to hang out with you, JJ, she thought, “What do you want to do?”

JJ’s face immediately lit up at her words, “Well I was thinking perhaps a picnic?”

Caroline raised an eyebrow, “Don’t picnics require food? We don’t have access to anything unless it’s mealtime,”

“Yeah, but we do have whiskey,” JJ winked with a mischievous look on his face, walking towards the storage room of the girls’ cabin where they still had a few bottles of alcohol left.

Caroline rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless – this was going to finally be her first date with JJ Maybank. Well, sort of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The afternoon sun was low in the sky, casting a beautiful orange reflection onto the peaceful water of lake Willowdale. Caroline and JJ had taken a seat on the lakefront, drinking their whiskeys and admiring the sunset, reminiscing the days when they were kids again.

“D’you remember that one summer when Rafe Cameron got food poisoning and ended up barfing on stage at the Will-all-hail banquet?” JJ laughed at the memory.

Caroline frowned, thinking about it, “Beats having Rafe Cameron as your counselor by a mile,”

JJ turned to look at her, eyebrows raised, “Rafe was a counselor here?” his tone almost sounding amused.

Caroline nodded, “Oh yeah,” she smirked, “For the same reason as Sarah – too stuck up for his own good so their dad shipped him over here as a punishment,”

JJ snorted, “I mean that family is pretty far up their own ass,”

“They have a sister too,” said Caroline, “I haven’t seen her around here though, so we at least know that one of them must be doing something right,”

The pair laughed at the thought of their spoiled friend and her older brother.

“Man, I missed this place,” said JJ suddenly, leaning back on his elbows.

His tone sounded different as he looked at the horizon and Caroline could sense that something wasn’t right, “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask -”

“Parents got divorced,” JJ quickly explained, “And unfortunately for me, my dad got custody,” he sighed, “Somehow my mom was deemed ‘incapable’ of taking care of me because she couldn’t financially afford to. Load of bullshit, if you ask me,”

“But my mom -”

“Yeah, they still talk,” said JJ, knowing what Caroline was about to say, “I still see my mom every other weekend, you know, it’s not the end of the world,” he smiled at Caroline reassuringly, “It’s just living with my old man meant working for my cut at home, which also meant summer jobs back in Kildare,”

“So that’s where you’ve been all this time…” whispered Caroline, mostly to herself, however JJ heard her.

“Yeah,” he responded, “Now that I’m old enough to be a counselor here and actually get paid for coming to summer camp I thought why not? Besides, your mom did tip mine off that you’d be here too,” he winked at Caroline, making her blush.

“Yeah, about that,” she said apologetically, “My mom likes to yap a lot, I wouldn’t take most of what she says seriously,”

“Well you are here, aren’t you?” said JJ, his face slightly leaning in towards Caroline’s.

Holy shit, this was it. Caroline was about to kiss JJ Maybank after a decade of fawning over him. Shit, shit, shit, she hadn’t really kissed anyone since that idiot from her class planted one on her at prom. What if she was a bad kisser? What if she’d forgotten how to kiss? As JJ closed his eyes and leaned even closer, Caroline decided to push the doubtful thoughts to the side as she closed her eyes too, leaning in towards him too. Their faces were inches apart, hearts pounding in their chests and, just as their lips were finally about to meet –

“There you are!” Sarah’s loud voice came from the hill behind them, startling them and making them both jump and immediately pull apart and straighten up. John B stumbled after her.

Caroline coughed awkwardly, trying to cover up the shame and embarrassment she was currently feeling, “Sarah… what are you doing here?”

With a knowing smirk on her face, Sarah put both hands on her hips, “Nothing,” she sing-sang, obviously finding the whole situation hilarious, “I’m sure it can wait,” she winked down at Caroline, while John B was waving around frantically behind Sarah at JJ, mouthing the words “DID YOU BONE?!” quite obviously.

JJ groaned as he stood up, helping Caroline up as well, “We’re all yours now, Sarah, what’s up?”

“Well me and John B had the afternoon free as well, so we went out front to his van and you’ll never believe what was taped to the door,”

“Wait, why’d you go to his van in the first place?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “That’s beside the point now, Carrie, look” she shoved a piece of paper in the girl’s hands.

As Caroline unfolded the paper, the group gathered around her to look at what was written on it - 41° 56’ 54.3732” N, 87° 39’ 19.2024” W.

“I have no idea what that means though,” confessed Sarah.

“Looks like coordinates to me,” said JJ.

��Hey, that’s what I said!” gasped John B, “But Sarah didn’t want to believe me,”

“Does anyone know how to read geographical coordinates?” JJ looked at his friends.

“Do I look like Google Maps to you?” asked Sarah.

“You’re right,” Caroline said as an idea sparked in her mind, “We can’t read coordinates, but I know someone who can,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

“I’m just saying, Miss P,” JJ spoke confidently once the group was inside Pricilla’s office, “Now’s about the best time to host the traditional yearly treasure hunt,”

Pricilla squinted up at JJ through her pink glasses from where she was sat at her desk, “Keep talking, Maybank,”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that it’s already been two weeks and none of these kids can read a compass yet?” continued JJ, earning a slow nod from the camp director, “Think about it, Miss P – Willowdale ain’t Willowdale without its treasure hunt,”

As JJ spoke, the rest of the group were silently praying behind him that his charismatic way with manipulating will work on Pricilla, giving them an excuse to ask her to decipher the mysterious coordinates they had gotten their hands onto. The old lady leaned back in her old leather chair and looked at JJ skeptically for a while, adding to the already built up tension.

“Give me a few days to map out the course and set up the coordinates,” she finally spoke, causing everyone in the group to silently cheer behind JJ. As they thanked her and turned to leave, she spoke up again, “Oh, and Maybank,” she called, everyone turning to look at her, “No funny business,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Finally some normal camp activities. Thank you for reading so far, I would greatly appreciate you letting me know what you think about the story and the characters xxx

tags: @k-k0129 ; @hayleyy-l ; @marvellover04 ; @dumbasscorn ; @thrown-off-her-rhythm

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

Hi this might be just because it's passover and I'm really feeling my heritage (and GOOD food) but could you write a fic possibly with Jewish Finn O'Hara?? (And Leo making him our food b/c it's so important to the culture) Or you can make any other character (it's hard cuz they all do xmas lol but i could see re or even kasey) who you feel could be Jewish I just LOVE your fics and I was hoping you could maybe represent my pride for my culture in one of our beloved characters :)

Yes I can!! Happy Pesach to all my wonderful Jewish followers <3 I will forever be jealous of your holiday foods! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove

Finn took two steps in the door, then paused. He inhaled deeply, paying special attention to exactly what that fantastic smell was as he toed his shoes off. “Butter? Is that you?”

“In the kitchen,” Leo called back. On the couch, Finn caught the edge of Logan’s smile before it was hidden behind his book.

He rocked slightly on the balls of his feet. “Are you making what I think you’re making?”

“That depends, what do you think I’m making?” There was a tease to Leo’s voice and Finn’s heart leaped; he skidded a little on the linoleum of their floor as he hurried into the kitchen and heard Logan laugh behind him.

On the stove, oil snapped and hissed while Leo prodded the bits of potato that flaked off the patties. He tapped Finn’s forearm as he hugged him from behind. “Don’t get too close, Fish.”

Finn snorted. “Are you kidding? This ain’t my first rodeo, pardner.”

Leo laughed at his terrible accent, then again at the smacking kiss to his cheek. “Well, I hope they’re alright. I totally forgot to ask your mom for her recipe, so this is a mashup of Bliz, Talker, and Re’s tips, plus whatever we had in the pantry.”

“You made me latkes,” Finn hummed, so happy he could burst. He gave Leo a quick squeeze and nuzzled his face against his neck, listening to the familiar sizzle as he added new potato cakes. “I didn’t know Remus is Jewish.”

“His dad is, so they celebrate both sets of holidays.” Leo shrugged. “I only texted Talker, actually. The other two just messaged me out of the blue with, like, a million suggestions.”

“We should have had them over for Seder.”

“Sorry, love.”

“ ‘s alright. Maybe next year.” Finn inched his hand toward the plate of latkes, only for Leo to gently smack it with his spatula. “Hey!”

“You’re gonna burn yourself!”

“I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, especially for a worthy cause.” Finn kissed him again before scooting a steaming cake from the pile and popping the whole thing in his mouth; he pulled a face at the heat and Leo shook his head.

“Told you so.”

“Don’t tell my mother,” he mumbled, relishing in the crunch of the crisp outside layer. “Oh, fuck me, these are good. Lo, c’mere!”

Logan slid into the kitchen in his socks mere seconds later with a wide smile. “I get to try one?”

“No,” Leo groaned. “They’re not done!”

“My holiday, my latkes, my rules,” Finn declared as he reached for another.

Leo huffed a long-suffering—and incredibly fond—sigh, then pushed the plate closer to them. “Whatever.”

Logan stood on his toes to kiss his cheek before snatching a latke and carefully biting into one side, cupping his hand under to catch the inevitable crumbs. “Just shove it in, baby,” Finn advised around his second cake.

Both his boys raised their eyebrows at him; Leo broke first with a devilish grin. “Yeah, I bet you’d like that.”

“Alright, you know what—”

“Watch the oil!” Logan blurted as a particularly large bubble popped and sent a few tiny droplets over their kitchen. Leo made a sad noise when he looked down at his spattered shirt and Finn rubbed his arm in sympathy.

“That’s why you don’t wear nice clothes while you cook, Butter.”

“Do you think the Tide stick will get it out?”

“We can give it shot,” Logan assured him, though he sounded rather skeptical.

A tinkling alarm went off over the sounds of the oil and Leo immediately perked up, shooing them out of the way as he grabbed an oven mitt. Finn’s heart clenched. “You made more food?”

Leo leveled him with a stare drier than the Sahara. “No, honey, I made potato pancakes and nothing else.”

The scent of roast chicken and vegetables billowed throughout their apartment and Finn couldn’t help but grin, feeling the familiar warmth seep into his bones. The whole place would smell good for days. “He remembered to get the recipe for this part,” Logan whispered, wrapping his arms around Finn’s waist from the side wile Leo pulled the pan out and cut the sweet potatoes open.

“It smells like home,” Finn managed, leaning his temple on Logan’s soft hair. “Alex would fucking love this.”

Logan snapped his fingers, then reached over to the counter and handed Finn his phone, swiping to his most recent texts. “Actually, I think Bliz and Nat have that under control.”

Something hot prickled at the corners of Finn’s eyes when he saw the picture—Alex glowed with happiness, sandwiched between Kasey and Natalie with a bright grin on his face as the three of them held up their bowls of soup. The matzo balls inside were a little wonky, but otherwise looked delicious, just as they had when Alex and Finn made them as kids.

“Oh, honey,” Leo said quietly as Finn swiped the first tear off his cheek. He closed the distance between them and joined the hug, kissing the top of Finn’s forehead.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” he sniffled. “I’m just so happy and I love you both so much. Fuck, Leo, you made me latkes.”

“Did they taste okay? I know it was kind of a Franken-recipe.”

Finn pulled back and reached up to cradle Leo’s soft cheeks in his hands, looking straight into his eyes. “Leo, they were perfect.”

“Happy Pesach,” Logan murmured, snuggling against him.

Finn barely held back a wince. “Pesach, Lo.”

“What?”

“You gotta—” He stifled his laugh with his hand. “There’s emphasis on the first syllable, then a ‘k’ sound.”

Logan licked his lips. “Pesach?”

“You sound so fucking French, oh my god.” He turned back to Leo with a smug smile. “You can’t make fun of me for how I saw ‘beignets’ after this.”

Leo barked a laugh, short and sharp. “Oh, yes I can. Watch it, Harzy, or you can kiss your latkes goodbye.”

“Joke’s on you, I know there are more at Loops’ house right now.” Finn propped his chin on Logan’s head and batted his eyelashes. “Besides, you have to be nice to me today. This is like my second birthday.”

“You can’t keep claiming things are your birthday!” Logan protested, wiggling away from his grip. “First it was Saint Patrick’s Day, then Hanukkah, and now this?”

“I have lots of birthdays,” Finn said solemnly.

Leo rolled his eyes. “Happy Pesach to the man of many birthdays. Can we at least eat before the chicken gets cold? I don’t want to beg food off Talker and his sisters tonight. My pride can’t handle it.”

“You have two boyfriends and a snazzy rainbow bracelet,” Finn scoffed playfully as he grabbed forks out of their utensil drawer. “That’s plenty of pride in my book.”

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darthwheezely · 3 years

Text

i walk the line - f.w. - 1

1950s american carnival! au

Summary: The Weasley Bros. Circus has always been a family affair...until they pick up a highly unusual girl with wicked talents...

Warnings: 1950s America and all the shit that comes with it, NSFW/SMUT MINORS NO INTERACTING :) , alcohol usage, cussing, tw violence (fights), carny folk, contortionist, language and desc of intense circus acts, clowns, sad boy George, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF BULLYING IN THIS CHAPTER, angst

taglist or people that may like this! DM to be added or removed @cappsikle @lumosandnoxwriting @whizboingies @virgohufflepuff @officialwizardwheezes @amourtentiaa @softlyqoos @breadqueen95 @thehufflepuffwife @george-fabian-weasley @lupinsclassroom @haileymorelikestupid @sarcasticallywitty15 @band--psycho @gcdric @vogueweasley @harrysweasleys @slytherinsunrise @thisismynerdyself @loony-loopy-lupinn @writingsomewrongs @pineapplesandpinas @valwritesx @amxrtentias @theweasleyslut @oh-for-merlins-sake @alyssamalfoy @bisou-doux

“...welcome to our home!”

George listened as the crowd erupted before his father. He had always admired Arthur “Art” Weasley, for many a reason. The way he could walk in and command a room, the way he could silence an entire audience with a simple flick of his wrist of wave of his hand, the way his voice alone could stop his cries in the night, the way he would come up behind him when taking care of the animals was too much and say, “Georgie, go to sleep, son.” but most of all? The way his father noticed him.

Baltimore, Maryland. 1933.

George Weasley was on the run. Again. Charlie Dooley, a boy from his class, and his gang of (as Fred said) “chickenshit babies” had made it a habit of following George home from school and doing one of the following: a) chasing him on bikes, b) cornering him in the bathroom, or c) sprinting after him on foot.

Today, it had been on foot.

“C’mon monkey boy!” Charlie howled, the other boys closing in on him. George sprinted a quick right realizing he dropped his lunch box and thinking a violent but rapid mom’s gonna be so mad, oh no oh no-

George barreled down the street, his house in sight, tears stealing on his cheeks from the sheer speed and necessity to get home. His feet seemed to be operating without him knowing, his body throwing itself backwards and forwards with the blinding need to be home, to hug his dad and say he wasn’t going to school anymore, to ask his mom to stop packing bananas in his lunchbox even though it was his favorite snack because mom don’t you know they call me monkey boy-

“Thought you could really get away from us this time huh, Georgie boy?” Charlie had pinned him to the concrete, George’s heart screaming in his ears. He could barely register that his lip was bleeding, and that maybe if he focused on the sky, his eleven year old shrimp of a body wouldn’t feel-

Pow.

Isn’t that what superheroes say? Pow? Let’s think about superheroes, Georgie, Charlie doesn’t last long with punches anyway just keep lookin’ at the sky, he thought wildly before-

Pow.

He vaguely felt his eyes roll back into his head, but he made a very clear rule to himself that he wouldn’t cry, Fred wouldn’t want him to cry, not that Fred was mean, Fred just hates seeing him cry-

Pow.

P-

And suddenly there was something off his body. He could hear punching noises but they were not aimed at George, but rather someone else. When he was able to open his eyes he saw his brother, Fred, landing blow after blow to Charlie Dooley, Charlie mewling under Fred.

“Touch my brother again, and I promise I won’t just break your nose next time, yeah?”

Art Weasley sat with his son George in the red chair in his caravan. It was George’s favorite chair, as he learned the word “red” from that chair and then equated “red” to his own hair.

Arthur had known his son would have it harder. It wasn’t his fault the boy was different, he loved him just the same for it if not slightly more so for the way he was a bit quieter, the way he listened and thought and thought and then wanted to make choices. The way he asked his mom if he could pack Fred’s lunches for school because only George knew Fred hated crunchy peanut butter sandwiches with white bread.

But more so for the way George wasn’t afraid to show love. To cry. To feel things Art sometimes couldn’t articulate.

George was curled into his father, tears staining his button up shirt and his body shuddering with every anxiety laden breath. Art put a hand on his son’s back and put his lips to his hair.

“George, you have to breathe for me or you’re gonna get sick.” He rubbed his son’s back soothingly.

“I’m sorry, dad, I promised I did what you said and tried to protect myself and when I couldn’t do anything else I just didn’t look at h-him I p-promise, dad p-please don’t be mad at me...” he took another shudder and released a cry into his father’s shoulder. Art was not a helpless man, but there was something that destroyed and cracked his very soul at the sight of his most vulnerable child, the most angelic of his seven children. The one that everyone protected. And at times like these, sometimes all a father can do is hold his child. So that’s what he did.

“I know, son...I know...”

“George?”

George jumped out of his thoughts, his palms sweaty from the inevitable stage fright that always accompanied him before a show. It was no matter how many times he grazed the trapeze with his sister Gin and his brother Ron, the nerves were always the same.

At least this time, no pows would be administered from anyone besides himself.

He heard his name again, the daze breaking as he looked at his oldest brother Bill.

“George. You’ll be fine. You always are, baby brother.” He said softly, placing his hands back on, Cora (short for Corazon) the lion. George gulped and nodded, and Fred patted his back, giving a hearty wink. George smiled a small smile, clapping Fred’s forearm.

“Ready, Fred?”

Fred grinned.

“Ready, George.”

George belonged to the trapeze. The way his body seemed to elongate with grace and dexterity when he grabbed his sister, the way he gave flirty winks at the girls in the crowd, the way he never dropped a muscle unplaced-

The way their father always noticed.

Fred saw these things in his younger brother and couldn’t help the fit of jealousy in his stomach. Don’t get your tightrope in a twist, he was possibly the most proud of his brother, and his hand to God if he didn’t say he hooted his name the loudest watching him do his thing.

But he never felt like he could ever match that.

He knew his hands were meant for something greater, same as his mind. Juggling came almost as easy to the older twin as breathing, smoking cigarettes, witty banter, and sex (in no particular order). But George had something Fred didn’t have.

Approval.

Fred was, for all intents and purposes, a good person. A great person. But his habits could’ve said so much otherwise.

Fred had a nasty habit of letting his temper get the best of him. Ever since he could talk, he had taken on the role of protector to not only George, but to Ginny and Ron as well. Frequently, his hands always seemed to have more things to say than he could which says a massive fucking lot. At the ripe age of 20, he’d gotten into more bar fights and straight up blacked out sober more than his own father, and all of his other siblings. He’d been in and out of detention when he did go to school, and in and out of-

Well, you get it.

The one thing that always seemed to follow him? His charm.

Fred Weasley was a charismatic motherfucker.

And he knew it.

It was simple. All he had to do in between acts was make a couple jokes, a few magic tricks, and by the end of his little charade? He’d have at least 3 girls lined up for that night. And if he was in a particularly bad mood?

Well, it could get a little more than that.

On nights like this, he was fine with just two.

I mean...Fred knew what he was doing.

And on a night like this - he was damn proud of it.

Until he saw you...

Last night.

Fred’s dessert was named Candy. He honestly couldn’t remember what her actual name was, but he did remember she said:

“Call me Candy. I taste like it, too.”

And honestly? That was really all he needed.

It didn’t take him long to press her small body against his caravan. She wound her arms around his neck and fisted into his flame colored hair and yanked, his hips rolling as he moaned into her lipstick stained mouth.

Fred always did have a thing for gals in red.

Fred realized his pants had begun to be a tad too tight, as Candy’s tongue licked into his mouth. his hands found their way under her dress, fingers kneading at her thighs and she squeaked. He lifted her legs at her noise and he wrapped them around his body, his bulge pressing into where she needed him the most.

“Fred, please” she whined, his mouth attaching to the valley of her breasts, the exposed skin of her dress warm and inviting.

“Please what, doll?” He teased roughly, his free hand sliding to cup her ass and squeezing. She gasped at his rough touch and he bit her collarbone.

“Fred, please, fuck me” she said airily. He smirked before pressing a quick kiss to her mouth.

“Absolutely, baby, see how easy that was?” He licked her bottom lip and bit, before pressing his forehead to hers, the sheer strength of his body pressing her against the van enough to use his hands to pull her panties down enough for her to kick them away. She reached down to unzip his pants when he motioned for her to do so, his hard cock free of his boxers.

“You ready, pretty girl?” He growled against her earlobe. Candy whispered a breathy “please” and Fred slid into her cunt, her wetness echoing sinful noises at the contact. They groaned at connection, and Fred continued to go deeper into her until he bottomed out. He looked at her for confirmation to keep going and she nodded. He pulled out and slammed back into her, beginning to set a rough pace against the van.

“Freddie, fuckfuckfuck you feel s-so good” she sputtered, Candy’s back hitting and arching against the van, causing it to move slightly against her. Fred nipped and sucked at her neck, determined to always leave a map of where he left his treasure behind...

“Look at you, unraveling like a ball of twine. Never had cock this good, doll?” He reached a particularly good angle in her causing her to claw deeper at his back, biting in a scream.

“Thereeee it is, baby. You like that don’t you, c’mon be a good little cock slut and tell me what you want, want everyone in this whole fucking camp to know I’m fucking you so good.” His hand went to her clit, circling it harshly. He wanted her to finish, his dick was twitching all to hard in her and he needed her to release before it was his turn. Her moans and gasps and mini clawings were getting sloppier, losing their tempo.

“Fred-Fred-“

“Yeah, baby, I’ve got you” he groaned against her mouth at her clenching pussy. She gave a final sputter and screamed into his shoulder, a hot electric wave coursing over his cock, with one, two, three harder pumps, he released into her as well. He leaned his forehead against hers and kissed it lightly. But when he looked back at her face, she was already losing interest. Just like the others. But it didn’t bother him...at least not anymore, right?

Just another night.

Memories of Candy and Janie and Jessica and Portia and all the other girls seemed to wash away at the sight of you waiting after the show. Your eyes were full of life but somehow had something tired behind them. The way your hair wasn’t perfectly coiffed but still looked like you had tried to, the way your dress was crinkled at the bottom like you didn’t give a shit if it was crumpled in the bottom of your dresser.

And then you looked at him.

Fred Weasley could have sworn time stopped at the way you walked across the hay to him, your body positioned in a way that would’ve given him every reason to hold you. he realized his face began to flush at the sight of you getting closer.

That, he thought, was an alien feeling.

“Hi.” You said warmly to him.

“You’re Fred, right? I loved your act.”

He blinked twice and then returned your smile.

“Yeah. Thank you so much, I...I really try, I am so sorry but what is your name?” His eyes scanned your face. You stuck your tongue in your cheek and returned the search on his face.

“Y/N. Y/L/N. I’m looking for a job.”

#fred weasley #george weasley #Fred weasley smut #Fred weasley x reader #bill weasley #charlie weasley #Ron weasley #Harry Potter #Ginny weasley #arthur weasley #molly weasley

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