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notjustjavierpena · 2 months

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Swelter

A/N: This happened because the SAG Awards made me horny. I have no other explanation for my behavior, no other defence. Maybe that I was listening to ur dad by VIAL. Obviously also a huge thanks to @strang3lov3 for being the cutest love bug I know, and for putting up with my brainstorming sessions.

Summary: You have a crush on Sarah’s father. It is summer, it is hot, and you just want a cold drink.

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, best friend’s dad, significant age gap (reader is 19-22, Joel is in his mid-40s), SEXUAL TENSION, bee stings, groping, voyeur to some degree, f masturbation, dirty talk, an endless amount of pet names, sexy play with a soda can, praise kink, car sex, daddy kink, fingering, unprotected piv sex, joel’s cock is huge in this, creampie, premature ejaculation, pussy eating, come eating, squirting

Word count: 6.8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54233479

Swelter

A warm Texas breeze blows through the open window of Sarah’s childhood room, making the see-through pink curtains move elegantly from side to side. It hits your back right underneath your halter neck as you lay on Sarah’s bed, caressing your bare skin and making you think of him. You wonder if his hands would have the same effect on you because you find yourself shivering but not from feeling cold. He is somewhere here, and his daughter doesn’t even know that her best friend obsesses about that fact.

Sarah hasn’t changed her room since she was a teenager. She told you this the first time she brought you here, which is almost a year ago today. You were here last summer too, thrilled to be invited to spend a few weeks of your summer with a friend from college and you and her have been inseparable ever since, even if you are so different from each other.

You have your face in a woman’s magazine, propped up on your elbows so you can suck on a popsicle stick whilst turning the pages. There’s a page with the recipe for ‘The Best Fudgy Chocolate Cake Ever!’ next to a page on how to lose weight, and it makes you snort.

“What?” Sarah turns on her chair, pausing the video on her computer.

“What kinda woman are you? You can choose one, but only one. Don’t get greedy now!” You make a scratchy voice but then pop your ice pop in your mouth to hold up the magazine for her to see.

“Seriously? We can’t win,” she groans dramatically, “Chocolate cake always. I just want to be happy, and that looks like a serotonin boost.”

Suddenly, the door opens without any warning. It’s him. Mr. Miller. You quickly remove the popsicle from your mouth, not about to show him how your lips are stretched around the sugary snack. The open door causes a draft to blow the smell of his cologne your way, and it is intoxicating beyond your imagination because you relish in it in secret.

“Dad,” Sarah says with exasperation, “I thought being an adult earned you the privilege of more privacy.”

“It’s gettin’ colder outside now,” he states and ignores her comment, hand resting on the doorknob, “The Adlers need Mercy to be walked, and the pavement’s coolin’ down.”

“I walked him when I was fourteen,” she furrows her brow and you suppress a snicker, “I’m twenty.”

“Just ‘cause you’re grown, don’t mean you can’t do right by ‘em,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Hi, Mr. Miller,” you say from your spot on the bed as Sarah fumes quietly, absentmindedly reaching to pull the short skirt of your dress down. He can probably see the start of your ass from how it has been riding up as you lay down on the sheets.

“Hiya darlin’,” he replies and you swear you can hear a restrained sound in his voice. He turns to Sarah again, “Get your butt off that chair.”

“Fine,” she follows through on her orders but still wants to argue, probably embarrassed at being ordered around by her father in front of her friend. She gestures to you, “And what about my guest?”

“She’s grown too, which means she can probably entertain herself the half hour you’ll be gone,” he dares wink at you, and blood courses through your veins.

“I’ll just get that assignment done while you’re out,” you reassure and try not to seem like your core is shaking.

“See?” Joel looks triumphant.

“You’d make a hell of a lawyer,” she deadpans at her father and walks past him.

When he closes the door and leaves you alone in the bedroom, you can feel your popsicle having melted, its syrupy water running down your fingers. You switch hands and suck the sticky fingers into your mouth. The action makes Mr. Miller’s image flash in your mind and you press your thighs together before getting up and finding your laptop.

You find that it’s near impossible to concentrate on proofreading your assignment in the tiny bedroom after just five minutes of being alone. It’s not that you can’t concentrate in the Summer heat but no matter what you do, your mind keeps circling back to Joel’s voice as he called you darling. It heats you more than the sun ever could, and with every tap on your keyboard, your mouth gets more and more dry.

Eventually, you push yourself to stand from your seat at the desk and make a decision to go fetch something to drink, and it is definitely not with the intention of accidentally bumping into Sarah’s father. Not even when you do not find Joel in the kitchen and decide to bypass it altogether to continue into the garage in hopes of being successful in your search for a drink (obviously).

This infatuation started last year. It took you about ten seconds - from walking into the kitchen and shaking Joel’s hand - to realize that Sarah was cursed with having him as a father. Firstly, he was outrageously handsome; always wearing washed-out t-shirts that clung to his shoulders, always smiling with teeth, sporting salt-and-pepper curls, and sometimes even shocking you by entering the kitchen with working gloves on. However, when he opened his mouth and spoke, a southern drawl dripped from his lips and made your whole body tense up. He was charming, respectful, and laughed at the right moments. Most importantly, he laughed at every damn attempt that you made at being funny, and while it was probably an attempt to be nice and make you feel at home, it spurred you on terribly to win him over at every opportunity.

Despite all that, those opportunities weren’t many. He was also cool enough to know that his daughter didn’t want him hanging around all the time, and so he spent many days either in the garden to mow the lawn in competition with the rest of the fathers down the street, in the garage to fix up some old truck, or with his brother, Tommy, and Tommy’s wife who always had some DIY-project going on.

Thus, the summer became one of tanning sessions in the garden, movies in Sarah’s room, stolen glances at Joel Miller whenever he came inside to quench his thirst after hard labor, and secret longing whenever he had kept away for too long.

One particular day last year, Sarah had failed to mention that her father would be home most of the last days you were in their house, and because he was always out, you were getting more and more comfortable with walking around in your towels post-showers or leaving the door unlocked when changing.

The particular event had happened in the morning when the house had been silent except for the kitchen where Sarah was preparing breakfast, using a large box of pancake mix and the whole fruit section of the local grocery store for topping. You had just showered, standing with your head in your suitcase to search for the last few pieces of clothing you had that were clean when there was a rap on the door and a pull of the handle not even a second later.

“Sarah, I need—“

You whipped around at the sound of a new voice entering the room. Your heart nearly burst out of your chest, feeling as though it was fighting its way out between your ribs as embarrassment began to flood your system. Even so, you stood too frozen to reach for something to cover yourself up.

Joel was in the doorway and dead silent, looking as if struck by lightning. Like earlier today, his hand had been resting on the doorknob and in the painfully short moment that the both of you were processing the situation, you saw that his grip tightened enough to whiten his knuckles.

And then it happened, the thing that had soaked you in forbidden desire and delicious excitement; his gaze had flickered down your body and taken you in for the briefest of seconds. His gaze had traveled from the hard peaks of your nipples to the shape of your hips and the softness of your young cunt.

“Fuck,” you heard him utter as he remembered himself and his self-awareness made you finally grab the top you were going to be wearing that day to cover up your quivering body. He slammed the door shut and spoke through it, “Christ, ’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Miller,” you promised but he was already gone. You immediately locked the door afterward to come so hard with two fingers on your clit that you had to hold onto the chair by the desk.

God, you want him to look at you like that again, want to tell him it is all for him. Now, as wrong as you know it is, you find yourself searching for an excuse to get him to ogle you and the chances are higher if he actually spends time with you.

“Hi, Mr. Miller,” you announce yourself as you enter the garage through the door in the kitchen. Joel has his head inside the hood of his truck, leaning over to inspect something that you wouldn’t understand anything about anyway. He grips the front side of the engine room to push himself to stand, closes the top of the hood of his truck, and turns around to face you.

“Hey kiddo,” he returns with a smile, “How many times do I gotta say to ya that it’s just Joel?”

“Alright, Mr. Miller,” you tease, “—I mean, Just Joel.”

You hear him laugh softly but you don’t dare look at him, afraid that you’ll spontaneously combust. He goes to the utility sink to wash his hands, saying nothing more and making you feel insane for coming apart in the silence.

“I’m just getting something to drink,” you explain when it becomes too much, “Sarah’s room is boiling hot.”

“That’s fine, take what you’d like,” he replies, and there’s a kind teasing in his voice. “But don’t touch the orange sodas. Those are mine.”

The concrete floor of the garage is cold on your bare feet as you pad across the floor where an old bottom-freezer refrigerator stands in the corner, humming in the otherwise quiet room. It has seen better days, and it seems like Sarah has tried to cheer up its weathered appearance by covering it in stickers and ugly magnets.

“Now I have to get one of those,” you giggle and pull the door open, scanning the contents and noticing that the sodas are on the bottom shelf. You hesitate for just a second, and then you choose to bend over instead of crouching down. Behind you, Joel Miller is completely silent.

In the beginning, it hadn’t been your intention to let the crush fester in your brain and turn it into something more but last week, during dinner out on the terrace, you had accidentally sat down on a bee and gotten stung on the back of your thigh. The cry you had let out had nearly made Joel tip over the table to get to you, his chair falling backward as he got up from his seat.

“Fuck! Ow ow ow!” You cried and hobbled around on the grass. The pain was unbearable but the shock only seemed to make it worse.

“Sarah, please get some ice and some antihistamines. There should be a bottle on my nightstand,” Joel ordered quickly and she rushed inside. He walked toward you, grabbing at your shoulders to ground you but his touch only heightened all other sensations. He dug his thumbs into you and your head swam, “Sweetheart, ‘tis just a bee, shh, calm down. I need to remove the stinger. Lemme see ya.”

“It really fucking hurts, Mr. Miller,” you said with a whine as he guided you to one of the loungers that Sarah and you had dragged out from the shed earlier that week.

“I know,” he finally let go of you so you could think just a bit more clearly, “Lemme take a look. Lie down on your front.”

You followed orders with the realization of how much you trusted his judgment, that he would treat you right, moving carefully because the flex of your thigh muscle was making the pain worse. The wooden lounger burned slightly against the front of your thighs, and you pressed your cheek into its slats while screwing your eyes shut.

The wood creaked behind you as he knelt on it with one knee and suddenly, his broad hand was perched on the top of your thigh in an attempt to keep your skin taut. You sucked in a breath but he only mistook it for more pain.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I can see it,” his breath was slightly quicker but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, “He really got ya right on your inner thigh. Hold on.”

Your eyes shot open when his thumb ran towards the innermost part of the back of your thigh, a sort of panicked arousal spiking from your chest and thighs. He paused for a second then murmured something, a swear word that you tried to take as frustration. There was a beat but then he cleared his throat, “Can you bend your leg a little? I wanna make sure that I get it on the first try.”

“How?” You asked stupidly. The image of how he would be looming over your backside made your heartbeat go down between your legs, “My dress’ll ride up.”

“Just bend the knee a little, pull it towards your chest,” he explained and cleared his throat once more, “On my life, I won’t look.”

So you did as he told you, and sure enough, your dress betrayed you by crawling slowly up to sit around your hip instead of the middle part of your thigh. You looked back at him when he started picking at the stinger with his nails, and you hoped that he would not notice your gawking at his concentrated expression.

A flash of the day he had barged in on you naked flashed in your mind because his eyes were so focused on not staring at you that you nearly whimpered when you saw his eyes flicker to the spot of dampness between your legs for no more than a second.

You had worn white cotton panties that day so they would not be seen through your dress. They were straining against your pussy in this position and all he had to do was reach out, and he’d find your clit poking against the fabric from how excited you were feeling.

He had had the perfect outline of your cunt, and it’s the same now as you bend over to get to the very bottom of the fridge, reaching for a cold drink that just happens to be his favorite. You know that he can see everything, and the worst is that you know he already has. Twice. The mere thought is so dirty that your heart starts pounding in your chest and sends heat through your already hot body, so you hurry to stretch to your full height again.

With a cocky grin that is mostly put on to hide your anxious excitement about what you have just done, you turn to face Joel and walk to stand in front of him and his car. His cologne fills your nostrils again, and the scent seems once again to have a direct line to your cunt because you have never felt more empty. In front of you, Joel’s jaw is clenched but other than that, he seems a lot more calm and composed than you.

That is until you jump onto the hood of the car and scoot back, letting your bare feet dangle out over the edge. You crack open the soda in your hand and take a sip that is a little longer than intended. The satisfying burn of the fizz grounds you in the warm climate, but it is even more heavenly as you tuck the skirt of your dress between your thighs so you can place the cold can there.

Joel shakes his head with a sigh but you know he is playing a game as much as you because he cannot help but crack a smile back at you, “You’re trouble, I knew it the second Sarah brought ya into my house.”

“Oh, whatever will I do?” You ask dramatically and lean back against the windshield.

“Go morally bankrupt?” He raises a brow. If only he knew what is going through your mind. You catch him looking at you in the fashion that you have craved when you sigh deeply and cause your chest to push out.

“Only that?” You take another sip and some of the contents spill down your chin in a thick, sticky trail due to the angle you’re sitting in. You reach up to wipe it away with your index finger and then dare to suck your finger clean with the intention of mimicking the way that you had licked it clean earlier when it had been coated in melted popsicle.

“Give it here,” he says. You lock eyes with him. However, your eyes widen slightly when he nods at the can and takes it from between your thighs. There’s electricity shooting through your nerves the second his fingers touch the fabric of your dress but they intensify to a dizzying degree when he takes a sip of the soda too.

Like a reflex, the sight of him drinking from the can that’s been nestled between your thighs makes your legs fall out to the sides. You’re worse than an obedient dog in your horniness, reacting the same way to the way he moves as it would to the sound of a bell ringing.

Your dress rides up slowly along your thighs, revealing your sweaty skin that feels sticky by now and Joel clears his throat after briefly looking down. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and when you realize the effect it has on the poor man, you grab the hem and pull upwards, “It’s so hot outside today. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to the heat here in Texas.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he says and his face has got a pinker tint, pulse visible on the side of his neck. With his free hand, he grabs one of your knees and starts nudging your legs together again. He yanks your skirt down, “I know I’m always teasin’ ya but you can’t be doing this.”

“Jesus Christ, Joel,” you say with exasperation and move your legs out again, “It’s just very hot… and it’s not like you haven’t had a peek.”

“Hey now,” he leans forward to place the can of soda on the roof of the truck, “That ain’t a fair accusation.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” you reply, chewing on your bottom lip, “But you’re not denying it.”

“Don’t tryna make me look like the pervert here,” he scolds, taking a step towards you and causing your stomach to do somersaults, “I noticed the way you went real quiet when my hands were on you.”

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows in confusion, “Your hands were never on m–”

“Did that bee sting really hurt that much?” He clarifies. Oh, you think whilst he smirks with triumph. Something has switched in the air surrounding you, the atmosphere has become more daring, “Yeah, I saw her; your pussy wet f’me.”

It’s true. If you think about it too much, you can still feel your heartbeat in the places where he touched you, and the pulse is rapid and overwhelming. You can’t imagine what it'll be like if he touches you underneath your dress, even if it’s simply on the outside of your panties. The thought has your underwear starting to dampen, the fabric starting to stick to you, and make you painfully aware of the wetness between your legs.

“Did ya touch yourself after?” His eyes have darkened slightly. His pupils are dilating with desire for your answer, and you nod hesitantly, overwhelmed by the need to tell him everything.

“During my shower that you told me to take,” you confess and hear him make a sound low in his throat at the mental image, “I couldn’t stop myself— I wanted you so badly. The thought of you inside me...”

This is a crossroad, you realize, you’ve said your deepest secret of depravity. On one hand, you can bolt out the door or you can make a move to show him what you really came down here for. The latter is risky but Joel is so goddamn decent that you know that if he doesn’t want this - which you doubt is the case at this point - he’ll gently reject you and never mention it again if it means that his daughter will continue having a best friend.

However, as your mind races with scenarios of what could or could not happen in this moment, Joel pulls you back into reality as his hand, cold from gripping the can, rests on your knee again but this time, it doesn’t try to make you decent like before. Instead, it slides up under your skirt in such a slow motion that you find yourself holding your breath.

“Is this what’ll quiet down that mind of yours?” He asks in a low voice, eyes flickering from your face to down between your legs and back again, “If I take a peek more to get it outta our system?”

“What are you doing?” You ask as if you do not know. It’s your turn to be scandalized by bluntness, and you find yourself gripping his arm but not hard enough to signal that you do not want him to continue. You hope that he realizes that this is not you rejecting his advances.

“I ain’t doing nothin’ that you haven’t already silently begged me to do. Perhaps sometimes - and God help me, I will probably regret it - you just needa follow your instincts when a pretty girl like you has been sendin’ me heart eyes all week,” he almost sounds annoyed with you, and to stop yourself from being scolded, your hand loosens its grip on him until you remove it altogether. He smiles, “Good girl.”

“You shouldn’t—“ you feel a rush of blood to your head, adrenaline kicking in as your thoughts circle around the repercussions that this can bring. In all honesty, you had only walked in here to have Joel’s eyes on you but now, you are getting more than you bargained for and it is making you so turned on that your mind is clear and foggy at the same time. Boldly, you sit up on the car’s hood so you can reach for the buckle of Joel’s belt, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“You’re damn right we shouldn’t be doin’ this,” he agrees immediately but doesn’t stop. His warm and rough palms skim further up your thighs until they settle by your hips, his thumbs teasing the elastic band of your panties. He starts to drag them down, the fabric nearly snapping in two when you barely register that you have to lift your ass to help him.

His fingers unintentionally caress your calves as he slides the underwear down to eventually pull them off your ankles and feet. The sensation makes your body wake up even more, a gush of wetness smearing your inner thighs and you know that you have to pull your dress up soon if you don’t want it stained.

In front of you, Joel reads your mind. He shoves the hem of your dress up as far as he can without a word with desperation in his trembling hands, and you move to let him bunch it up around your waist so he has a full view of what waits - and for long has waited - for him.

When your cunt is revealed to him, he groans like he is in pain at the sight of the slick shining on your soft youthful skin. You can see how hard he is in his jeans, cock straining against the zipper at the front of them.

He looks like he wants to touch but hesitates. The first sign of his inner conflict. You remember that he did say just a peek as if there’s an unspoken agreement that he is not to cross the line of touching what he shouldn’t want to have. It would definitely be a nuclear decision if he chooses to do it anyway. It makes you want it even more, and another gush spills from your glistening slit when you clench from excitement.

Joel swears under his breath, something that sounds like fuck it and it sets it in stone; he is going to ruin you for eternity right here on his car. He steps closer until your spread knees bump into his sides, and without saying anything you move to yank his jeans and briefs down, settling them around his hips with a soft gasp as you take in the sight of his fully hard cock. He is huge. So huge that your mouth starts salivating like you’ve already been fucked stupid and your walls try to clamp down on nothing. It’ll hurt. You want it to if it means that you won’t doubt if it ever happened tomorrow.

“Tell me you want this too,” he seeks your reassurance.

“So fucking badly, Mr. Miller— Joel,” you say without any hint of second-guessing in your voice. You scoot further forward on the car and lean back so he has better access, trying your best to be elegant in your messy state, “Please, want you in me.”

“Jeez, honey,” his breath shakes, “Already so eager. I haven’t even felt if she’s ready f’me.”

With one hand gripping your left thigh, he uses two fingers on his right hand to slide through your wet folds and you don’t think you have ever been this turned on for anyone; when he flips his palm upwards and shoves two fingers inside of you, you feel more arousal drip from your cunt and pool in his hand. The longing you have felt since you saw him for the first time finds somewhere to empty all its desire and desperation into, and you whine like you’re in a state of agony.

“Shhh…” he soothes and curls his digits inside of you until you think you might start crying, squelching cunt trying to pull him further into you as he fingers you lazily. Your gaze drops to how his cock twitches whilst standing in the air, “You’re grippin’ me so good, doll, can’t wait to fuck this pussy. Don’t cry like that. Be patient.”

“Please, I’m so—“ your palms are flat on the hood of the car, your mouth hangs open in ecstasy and you stare down at where his ring- and middle finger disappears repeatedly into you, “It’s yours, please.”

“I know it’s mine, don’t gotta say it, I know,” he coos at each of your whimpers, gets you worked up until you are just on the brink of coming, and then he moves quickly. He pulls his fingers out of you, smears his cock with what you’ve soaked his whole palm with, and leans over your gasping frame to nudge at your quivering hole.

When he finally enters you, the both of you gasp in unison. He struggles with it for a moment, rubbing the skin just below your belly button to make you relax because he is so much bigger than you had first anticipated, and such a tight fit that you think he might split you in two.

“Goddamn, you are tight,” he says through gritted teeth, “Feels fuckin’ amazin’.”

“Ah,” you feel like letting yourself turn into a drooling mess already, pulsating around him from the way your body struggles to take him, “Joel, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, honey,” he encourages, showing no signs of pulling out of you to free you from the burn of his girth. He growls low in his throat as you struggle with it, and you know it’s because your walls are clenching around him as you involuntarily move, “Stay still, let her get used to it.”

“It hurts,” you whine, sliding slightly on the metal underneath your ass. He presses his hips forward even further and causes you to whimper but in doing so, he holds you firmly in place by using his strong frame.

“I know but ya just gotta relax,” he goes on. He places one hand flat on the hood of the car and then places the other right on your hip, thumb going inwards to find your clit. It pulses under his finger, trying to find out whether to find the pain delicious or not.

When his thumb starts going in circles on you, your thigh muscles start to twitch and flex from burning desire instead of uncomfortable pain. He presses down a little to stroke your sensitive nub with even more determination and smiles at his success when a moan slips from your mouth, “That’s it, honey. Just enjoy this until you’re creamin’ on me, and then I can fuck her real good.”

Your walls start to flutter a few seconds after the first new round of pleasurable sounds leave you, and the more his finger moves on you, the easier it gets to take him because the pain turns into nothing more than a dull ache in the background of ecstasy. He has you breathing faster and faster, and in return, he starts moving his thumb up and down to make his touches more direct.

God, your clit is hardening underneath his torment. He stares at what he is doing, an occasional grunt leaving him from how you involuntarily squeeze his length, and you know that he can sense it, suddenly smirking to himself as you near your climax. He admires the sight of you, eyes glued to the way the hood of your clit has drawn back, “Babydoll, look at that. Such a pretty pussy, clit peekin’ out and all. Does she wanna come on my cock?”

“Please, yes, oh please,” you nod repeatedly, mouth hanging open in an o-shape and breaths coming out in small puffs. Your climax is within reach, and Joel looks concentrated as he more than willingly hands it over to you whilst buried deep inside of you. The concentration on his face is probably from keeping himself from spilling inside of you too soon, but God, he looks gorgeous as he determinedly strokes your cunt.

“Yes, yes, yesyesyes— oh God, I’m… fuck, I’m coming!” You shake with pleasure as he causes your pussy to spasm, your hands barely able to find out what to do and making you grab at both the metal underneath you with one hand and his wrist with the other. Your eyes are squeezed shut but you do not doubt that he is staring at you in awe as you come so hard that reality fades.

“Good girl,” he rasps, voice unsteady and hand hitting the hood of the car as the feeling becomes overwhelming, “Oh sweetheart, you’re choking my dick so g—“

He swears quietly and then loudly, and suddenly, his cool demeanor crumbles because he is spilling his load inside of you with a pathetic and strained grunt. His hips stutter slightly and warmth spreads slowly inside of you, mixing with your own arousal.

You look down to where the two of you are connected, feeling fucked out despite not even having had the chance to feel him move inside of you. His come has started to spill from you already, dripping obscenely from your cunt.

“Fuck,” you hear Joel say above you. He slips out of you and leaves you gaping and mewling for a second, starting to take a step back. You catch him with your legs before he is too far away, and he reluctantly steps close to you again. He looks embarrassed but gives you a smile to hide it, “Felt too good, honey. This pussy’s makin’ me all sweet on you.”

“I’m that irresistible?” You grin in your post-orgasmic haze, not really giving a crap about the lack of a proper fuck from how much dopamine is coursing through your veins.

Joel takes hold of your thighs as they are wrapped around your body and lifts them off of himself, “You’re makin’ an old bastard like me weak in the knees, so maybe. Hah! Comin’ too soon like a goddamn teenager.”

“I liked it,” you admit without hesitation, still basking in the sweet afterglow, “Made me feel sexy and powerful.”

He scoffs but can’t fight the smile on his face, “Now now, don’t get cocky on me. Crawl back a little, spread ya legs f’me.”

You giggle and do as you are told, presenting yourself to him on the hood of his car. You plant your bare feet on the metal, lay back against the windshield, and smile.

“Now look at that,” he tuts as he admires his work; white ropes of come dripping down from your slit and onto the surface beneath you. He lays both hands flat on the car and leans forward, and before you know it, his mouth is covering your whole cunt and he eats from you like he’s paid to do it.

“Jesus,” you groan, throwing your head back and grabbing onto the roof of the car with one hand whilst the other finds Joel’s hair. You tug and he moans against you, sending vibrations through your whole lower body and beginning the first stirrings of another high. You don’t think that you can take it, squirming just like you had done moments earlier.

Joel makes a sound of disapproval. He scoops his arms under your thighs until he can lay his hands on top of them, holding you tightly against his mouth and causing you to cry towards the ceiling when he makes your second orgasm approach so quickly that nothing in your brain makes sense except what he is doing between your legs.

The hand on the roof of his car goes to his head too. You slide your fingers on both hands through his hair until they lay at the back of his neck, and then you yank once more at the curls there. His tongue works at your clit, swiping back and forth over it until you think that you might see God.

However, it doesn’t stay there. Instead, it is replaced by his nose so that he can eat his own spill straight from you by dipping his tongue hungrily inside of you.

“Joel— holy fuck, you’re incredible,” you close your eyes to concentrate on your pleasure. Who knew that the man could fuck with his tongue? He is warm and wet inside of you, slurping pornographically until you are clean of any remains of his come.

You are just about to finish a second time when he halts whatever he is doing. He pulls back only a few inches so you can still feel his uneven breaths against your cunt.

“No! Please,” your eyes fly open, you cry desperately, and throw your head forward dramatically. You want to thrash but he still has your legs locked in his arms, so you decide to pull out the big guns and hope for the best, “Please, Daddy! Pleasepleaseplea—“

“What the fuck did you just say t’me?” He looks up at you but you are too busy screwing your eyes shut in agony whilst whining for more. He growls and releases one of your legs, “I was already gonna make you a happy young lady but now, I’m gonna make you come so hard your little brain goes dumb. See how it feels. Impatient girl.”

His hand goes between your legs. He turns his palm upwards and then shoves two thick fingers inside of your pussy like earlier, curling them slightly and then pumping them so quickly that blood starts speeding through your system a second after and your heart rate goes so fast that you know that you are just about to come.

“Joel, oh my— fuck!” You whimper.

“Wrong word,” he replies.

You correct yourself immediately because there’s no way he is stopping again to chastise you once more, “Daddy, oh I— mhmm, I’m gonna come for you. Don’t stop, please, please Daddy, pleasepleaseplea—!”

He responds just how you had liked: He closes his mouth around your swollen clit and sucks hard, finally severing all connection to your brain and you come so hard that you actually squeal. Joel groans against you, feeling you squeeze the digits he has buried deep inside you. He draws back his fingers, pressing upwards the whole way.

Clear liquid squirts from you the second he pulls them out. The gushes that follow are so intense that the leg he isn’t holding anymore shakes so violently that the metal rattles under you, the car staining with your come. He repeats the move again and again, over and over, and watches the steady trickle down the hood and onto the concrete floor that turns a dark gray.

Euphoria courses through your being as you come in a way that you have never felt before. Your limbs tingle as warmth spreads out from beneath your belly button, your cunt pulses with eager pleasure, and you sob through the waves that crash over you without giving you time to recover from the last. The whole room feels brighter and its colors more vibrant.

“Shh, baby, let it happen, feels so good, don’t it? That’s it,” Joel coos at you the whole way through, guides you through it when you barely know how to use your words. He has straightened to his full height again but you don’t know when, and he has slowed his fingers down to tease out a few aftershocks. You whimper feebly at each one, and when Joel seems satisfied with what he has drawn out of you, he covers your whole mound with his palm to soothe the feeling of overstimulation that settles.

“Soundproof,” he mutters, once again reading your mind when you come to your senses again and start thinking about your noise levels with furrowed brows and eyes flitting from him to the garage door. Your heartbeat has started to slow again, and the relief of knowing no one has been able to hear you makes you slump against the windshield and breathe deeply.

The remnants of your orgasm have made you smile, your body slipping into a deep state of satisfaction when the anxieties have been dispelled. Joel moves his hand up your lower body until it settles between your breasts, still covered by your dress. He caresses your heaving chest, looking at you boyishly for the first time, “You good? Didn’t cause any brain damage, did I?”

“You think this truck has ever seen action like that before?” You joke breathlessly.

“Probably ain’t the first time I disappointed a gorgeous lady in its presence,” he says with an apologetic smile, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Disappointed? You’re insane,” you stretch your arms above your head to get some of the last bits of euphoria out of your body, trying to ignore the way he has just called you a gorgeous lady. He probably means nothing by it. As your stretch peaks, you moan gently, “I came two times. Hard. I’m not complaining.”

“Just saying that I woulda liked to do it… properly, I guess,” he talks as he stuffs himself back into his underwear and pants, most likely trying to feel the least uncomfortable about mentioning his overexcitement. Automatically, he steps back when you jump off the car to adjust your dress.

“This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing,” you try to act casual as you say it but there’s no way you are accepting the best sex of your life to be a thing you will never have again, reducing it to a movie merely playing behind your eyelids as a cruel reminder of what is unattainable.

“And when would we have time for that?” He asks, zipping up his jeans. He wipes his hands on them, “We can’t, honey.”

“We just did,” you mumble, picking up your underwear from the floor. You turn the panties in your hands, just about to bend down to put them on before deciding against it. Boldly, you stand in front of him and stuff your sticky underwear into his front pocket; closest to his crotch. There are extra pairs in your bag in Sarah’s room. He can have these.

He looks down briefly and then finds your eyes. His jaw clenches as he weighs his words, “When?”

“Aren’t you driving me to the airport on Sunday?” You smile and kiss his cheek, and then you leave him, your soda in hand and a mess on the floor.

FOLLOW @notjustjavierpena-fics AND TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS 💖❤️💖❤️

#pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us #my writing #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal smut #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #joel miller the last of us

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killinfate · 6 months

Note

Helloo. I just saw the fnaf movie yesterday and it was amazing to me. Wanted to ask if you could write dating/being in love with Mike would include and knowing him since childhood and know what he is going through (because the parents knew each other)

ofc!

DATING MIKE SCHMIDT WOULD INCLUDE

MIKE SCHMIDT X READER

— Naturally from his past Mike was fairly shaken up throughout his childhood yet you remained his friend, attempting to give him some normality and continue to experience childhood.

— He appreciated you for it, you were the only person he could confine in without being told to “move on”. You knew how Garett’s death had affected Mike and didn’t try to give him useless advice.

— It took Mike awhile to admit his feelings for you despite how many years he’d held them in for. He was patient, believing due to his lack of relationship experience and his nightmare fuelled nights he’d be no good for you.

— Mike also valued your friendship meaning he’d rather push away whatever he felt for you in order to keep your friendship. However that promise to himself didn’t last long and luckily his feelings were reciprocated.

— At first he was awkward around giving affection but he soon got comfortable with it once he realised you were comfortable too.

— It took him a few weeks to say “I love you” despite the fact he’d loved you for years. It was easier in his head. After he said it once with certainty, he said it more frequently.

— He’ll give you lingering kisses on your forehead and found it comforting and reassuring. He’ll give you quick kisses on the cheek and lips before work followed by “I love you.”

— (might make an imagine for this) Of course there are his nightmares where he’d flinch awake. You hug him from behind and kiss the back of his neck until he relaxes. He never really falls back asleep but he enjoys your comfort, assured you’re still there with him. Somewhere in the night you’ll stir and turn over, unknowingly letting go of him. He’ll end up turning over and hugging you from behind instead, his head resting just beneath your shoulder.

— After his experience at Freddy’s he likes having you close. He likes knowing where you are and will give you frequent texts to ask how you’re doing. Sometimes Mike worries he does this too much but the underlying fear of losing you is constant.

— Most dates are spent at his house, the two of you preferring the comfort of the home instead of a restaurant. You’ll get takeaway, throw on some shitty movie neither of you probably won’t enjoy but won’t mention and eventually fall asleep against each other on the couch. Usually you’ll only go to restaurants on special occasions; on yours, Mike’s or Abby’s birthday or an anniversary.

— You sometimes babysat Abby before and after getting with Mike and she loves you. She seizes any opportunity to tease Mike about you.

— You and Mike both have a sarcastic sense of humour and usually it makes up some amusing conversations between the two of you, meaning a lot of banter.

— Overall Mike is comfortable with you and can sometimes be protective and defensive which he apologises for. It’ll always comes down to the risk of losing you.

#mike schmidt imagine #five nights at freddy’s movie #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #80s #josh hutcherson imagine #Josh hutcherson

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love-belle · 9 months

Text

saw ur mom at the grocery store !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them hanging out with each other's families.

for when you find out that your second family is actually your ex's family. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

sequel - well, i'm still in love with you ·˚ ༘

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!!! a short one but i hope u like it <3 thank u sm for reading i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lorenzotl, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 797,427 others

yourusername saw ur mom at the grocery store i always knew she really did like me more

7,825 comments

username THE CAPTION

username i just gasped omg

username HELPHSHSKAKSJSKAK

username MAMA LECLERC AND Y/N

lorenzotl please return my mother

-> yourusername shush we're going shopping

username THE SHADEEEEE

username i know charles is shaking rn

-> username bro regrets introducing them 💀💀💀

username love that they're still so close like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

carla.brocker stay right where you are, i'm on my way

-> yourusername already ordered a frappe for u <3

username I NEED CHARLES TO REACT TO THIS RN LIKE

username bro hurt her so bad she started rhyming

-> yourusername PLEASE

username why r u so pretty

username idk what happened just the fact that charles should be on his knees crying screaming throwing up for her to take him back

username the way pascale is always so "😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘☺️☺️☺️☺️" with her :///

arthur_leclerc pineapple is mad. i repeat pineapple is mad

-> yourusername hoes mad ur honour

-> username NOT CHARLES BEING PINEAPPLE

username THIS IS SO WHOLESOME (if we ignore the caption)

username should've known it was only a matter of time before y/n said something 💀💀💀💀💀

username queens

-> username icons

-> username girlbosses

username charles is fuming rn i Know it

lilymhe missing u ml

-> yourusername cannot wait to see u bb <3

username no bc why did i think for even a second that they ended on good terms.

username my two absolute girlbosses

charlotte2304 wowwwwwwww. guess my invitation got lost in mail huh?

-> yourusername we're literally going to dinner tonight??????

-> charlotte2304 okay and???????

-> yourusername join us!!!!! we can have a girls' day!!!!! carla is on her way too!!!!!! - pascale

-> charlotte2304 i'm halfway through the door love you!!!

username no bc all jokes aside i wonder how y/n and charles must be feeling with yk, both of them being close to each other's families and friends like

-> username no bc imagine having to stay in the same friend circle after u break up like that's so 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username the caption punched me in the gut js saying

username she's the favourite child 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 868,525 others

charles_leclerc vacation with ex in-laws ❤️

8,627 comments

username NAH NO WAY

username OH MY GOD

username PLEASE

username charles being a petty bitch we love to see it

username NOT HIM GOING ON A WHOLE ASS VACATION WITH HIS EX'S FAMILY

arthur_leclerc that's where you had to go "so so so urgently"

-> charles_leclerc yeah !!!

username bro went on a vacation with her family bc she went grocery shopping with his mom 💀💀💀💀💀💀

username no bc he got the grandparents too

-> username HE GOT THE DOG

username y/n bout to move in his childhood home i can feel it

-> username they're both so stubborn and petty so i wouldn't be surprised at all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username him being close with her family after they split hits me in the heart idek why

lorenzotl maman says you should've told her, she wanted to see them too

-> charles_leclerc i invited them to dinner next week, tell her to not worry

username THIS IS SO

username no bc she went GROCERY SHOPPING with his mom and this mf went on a VACATION

username what'd they even talk about 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> username "your daughter is giving me grey hair" "you're not the only one, son"

*liked by charles_leclerc*

-> username PLEASE OMG

username i would do anything to be on this vacation

username kinda need y/n and charles to interact again

username IT'S ONLY 7AM WHAT THE FUCK

landonorris tell (your mom's name) i miss her cooking and her favourite son says hi

-> charles_leclerc she says she's going to the next race so she'll make something for you and no. i'm her favourite son

-> carlossainz55 pretty sure it's me

-> pierregasly no way

-> lewishamilton it's me actually

-> maxverstappen1 shut up it's me

-> danielricciardo it's me lmfao

-> yourmomsusername it's actually mick and roscoe

-> mickschumacher YES

-> username the way everyone is close to y/n's family :///

username y/n's next post "so i moved into my ex's childhood home lol"

-> username the way idk what to expect from her 💀

username alrightttt all jokes aside please get back together with mom ❤️

username no bc if they don't work out then there's no hope for me 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc angst

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boiohboii · 9 months

Text

The Spaniard's Wife (Carlos Sainz x wife!reader)

Inspired by @charles-eclair16 's fic

Carlos Sainz had a secret for the past 9 years, but when he forgot to take off the one thing that can reveal everything, everyone has questions

in which Carlos let's everyone know that the rumors, in fact, are true

masterlist

N.B: didn't turn out how I wanted but I've been rewriting it multiple times and I think this is the best option, hope you like it...WARNINGS: swear words a lot, not proof read, spelling mistakes and really bad photoshop tbh, if I missed anything please let me know!

Faceclaim: Emeraude Toubia

Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, landonorris and 910,583 others

Carlossainz55: my wife and I have been friends for 20 years, we have been lovers for 13 of those years, engaged for 2 and married for 9. I have never been sure of much, but I am sure that I love her with my entire heart, I will always love her. I have known yn since before I could even dream of being an f1 driver, what happened in that one interview was disrespectful and just disgusting. No one has any right to speak any ill word of my wife, you don't know her and you never will, as long as she doesn't want you to. I will do everything for her, for her happiness, her comfort and for her ease of mind.

landonorris: tell yn I miss her!

Carlossainz55: leave her alone

landonorris: I'll tell her that you're rude to me

Carlossainz55: she's my wife!

landonorris: yeah yeah, you never let us forget it

username: yn been here since day 0 apparently, can't fight her now

username: YES!! CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS!

username: I want dts to make a reincarnation of their love story

username: we need a spinoff

username: yes! It'd be so cute

username: I can't imagine 16 year old carlos realising he is in love with his friend

username: she is every man's wet dream

-this comment has been removed-

username: she looks so pretty wtf

username: she's looks like a doll

username: wish i looked like that at 20 years old

username: her dress is phenomenal

username: this screams money

username: 2 different cars for a wedding

username: the third slide, holy shit

username: I wouldn't be surprised if the last 2 pictures are carlos' or her house, like holy fuck

username: both scream rich

username: mum used to say rich people look it and I never gave it much thought until I saw carlos sainz and now his wife

username: did y'all see the picture that one twitter user took? Their outfits looked so fucking good

username: YES! I SAW IT! I could never afford a thread on either outfit!

username: did you guys see her hair! It looks so thick and healthy

username: fr!

username: I want a wedding like that!

username: I want a husband like that!

username: I want a wife like that!

username: I love how he is not in one single picture 💀😂

Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, Pierregasly and 1,209,316 others

Carlossainz55: 10 years since i was able to call you wife, and I will never get tired of letting everyone know that. I am in love with you, forever and always.

Charles_leclerc: simp

Carlossainz55: I don't know what that means

landonorris: ikr, it's laughable man @.Charles_leclerc

Charles_leclerc: don't pretend like you're not the same with your girl @.landonorris

username: damn charles really coming for everyone's neck today

username: bet charles is the biggest simp of them

username: he really making us feel lonely as hell huh

username: 10 fucking years, Holy shit!

username: no cause if I had yn by my side I too would be in fucking love

username: don't embarrass yourself, everyone knows you're in love without her by your side

username: I didn't ask to be attacked like that wtf

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 #carlos sainz social media au #carlos sainz smau #carlos sainz instagram edit #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz twitter au #carlos sainz x yn #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz #carlos sainz wife #carlos sainz x wife! reader #carlos sainz jr

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chrisili · 6 months

Text

𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊?

Pairing: Peter Pevensie x fem!reader

Summary: Your childhood best friend starts acting super odd and after a little incident at the train station you actually understand why.

Warnings: Spoilers if you haven’t seen the first and second movie, lots of arguing

Genre: friends to enemies to lovers? Angst? Fluff

Word count: 2,8 k

A.N.: Eh so, I actually thought this story further, like a lot but I don’t know if the rest is worth writing/reading so IF you think this needs another part eh, tell me? But again heads up, no idea if it is worth the time. THANKS FOR READING THIS ANYWAYS!

Masterlist

________________________________________________________

Peter hugged his beloved mother one last time. “Promise me you’ll look after the others,” she said. “I will mum,” he said with a thin voice, eyes shut tight. She loses herself from the hug, smiles at him and nods, “good man.” After having said goodbye to the other three children too, she looked at them all, “alright, off you go.”

Peter and the others grabbed their luggages and started to walk closer to the train they are supposed to go in to. “Peter! Peter!” A small voice cried out, the oldest sibling looked into the direction where the voice was coming from, it was Y/N. Y/N was Peters childhood bestfriend, they went the same way to school everyday, although going to different schools because of their genders. They lived close to each other, played outside a lot and spent their times studying together (Sometimes, because both of them were not very keen on studying anyways).

Y/N stood there with her four brothers, waiting to go into the train too. Peter smiled seeing her as she hurries over, he waves shyly trying to walk up to her. “Peter, what are you doing?” Asked his sister Susan while grabbing his arm. “Just a second, really.” He replied, giving Susan his luggage so she could put it in already. She looked at him annoyed but took it anyways.

Peter and Y/N now stood in front of each other, slightly shouting because of all the noise. “Where are you going?” She asked right away leaning in a little so he would understand better. “Some kind of professor, it’s gonna be boring really.” He said slightly chuckling. “How about you?” “A cook I think, we will probably help out in the kitchen a lot but it’s okay.” Y/N said smiling.

“Y/N come on!” John, one of her younger brothers yelled from the back. She turned around, “Yes I am coming!” She yelled back annoyed. She turned back to Peter and smiled sadly at him. “I hope you will be safe Peter, I am gonna miss you.” He was close to tears for he felt the same thing about her. When she saw that he was trying not to cry in front of her she exclaimed, “Oh Peter!” Hugging him tight with her eyes shut and tears at the corners. He hugged her back tightly, wrapping his arms around her back and crying dryly into her shoulder.

“Y/N COME ON!”

“PETER! HURRY UP!”

They both stopped hugging each other and with one last smile they both ran back to their families. You may be wondering, if they are both going into the same train, why wouldn’t they just say goodbye then? This was not possible due to the fact that the train didn’t have any walkable connections between the wagons. So, both were sitting in different wagons and off the families went. Y/N and her four younger brothers traveled to the mentioned cook and Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy to said Professor. Peters story you obviously know about already, Y/N arrived at a small house with no garden and no play space. They had to help in the kitchen, wash the dishes but keep quiet and under no circumstances touch. The. Food. All five of them in the kitchen, you can imagine it was a little crowded and plates sometimes fell to the ground, shattering with a high pitched sound, with the one dropping it being punished badly.

Y/Ns brothers were all younger than her. John the second oldest being only one year younger than her, 17. Oliver, the middle child, 15. Finn, 12 and the youngest Harry, 10. It was very scary for all of them but it was the scariest for Y/N, taking care of four pubescent boys looks hard already but is worse doing it.

Let’s skip time a little here, after a couple of weeks they all came back to their homes. Obviously having got to go back to school. Y/N was very happy seeing her friend again and of course the other siblings too but somehow Peter had changed over his time at the professor, he seemed more mature and even angrier, prouder and overconfident. I, of course know why he suddenly behaved so strangely having lived in Narnia for the last 15 years but Y/N didn’t and there was no one to tell her. With Peter starting getting into fights, Y/N was kind of scared of him, where was her sweet and funny Peter all of a sudden? They, naturally, grew kind of distant. They still saw each other every morning or on the streets and greeted each other, maybe smiled shortly and then continued their way.

Peter regret deeply where their relationship headed but he couldn’t have told her, she wouldn’t believe him anyways and she would think he was crazy (which she already did to be honest).

Let’s skip a little more to one fine morning, or fight morning. Y/N was close to the train station she had been using for the last years, looking at newspapers and thinking about getting some candy (which she could hardly afford but the thought was still nice). Being caught up in her dreams she only noticed her brother Oliver running up to her when he was already in front of her panting. At first she couldn’t understand what he was saying because of all the huffing but then she did, “John, he is fighting! You have to do something, the other boys are way bigger than he is!” Without having fully registered what her brother had said she was already dragged down the station. Oliver could of course, like Edmund did, help his brother too but he was a very gentle and calm soul and had no interest in fist fights.

Running down the stairs Y/N saw a lot of people in front of her blocking the view. But after some tip toeing she saw her brother, Edmund and Peter fighting against a bunch of older boys. Thankfully a police officer tore them apart and Y/N squeezed her way down to her brother. After John was done talking to the officer, Oliver and Y/N walked up to him, not very far from the other two troublemakers (Edmund and Peter) sitting on chairs by the wall.

“What on earth is wrong with you?!” Y/N exclaimed while hitting her brother with the newspaper on his head. He rubbed his head slightly, still full of adrenaline and anger from the former fight. “Nothing is bloody wrong with me! These guys attacked Peter and I helped him, that’s it.” Hearing Peters name made her slightly angry, she glanced over to Peter who was still sitting in his chair, his blonde hair slightly over his face, looking back at her. She immediately looked back at her brother with an angry face.

“It was Peters fight then, not yours!” She said in a loud voice.

“So what? Edmund helped too!” John replied with an even louder voice, almost screaming.

“That doesn’t matter at all! Edmund is Peters brother, you aren’t!” She yelled at him.

“I wish I was!” Yelled John back, almost running away with fury.

Oliver looked back and forth between his two siblings, unsure what to do but when John hurried away, he looked at Y/N and she just nodded saying he should go with him. Y/N sighed heavily looking to the ground, she picked up her suitcase and walked away too.

“Y/N!” Peter yelled from behind, now standing hoping she would stop. She did. She also turned around slightly and looked at her former best friend, she was annoyed. “What?” She said almost rolling her eyes at him. He walked closer now with small steps, almost like approaching a deer. Y/N turned around fully now, facing Peter with her heavy suitcase in her left hand and the newspaper in her right one. “I am sorry okay? I didn’t want him to fight on my behalf either, I would have told him to leave but that’s not really possible while being kicked in the face.” He said trying to smile a little at the end.

“Not hard enough…” she mumbled.

“What was that?” He asked not having fully understood her.

She just shook her head and looked into his eyes and for the first time in a year she realized how much he had actually changed. His face and especially his jaw was a lot sharper, his face was slightly longer and had matured a lot. His blonde hair was longer and it looked gorgeous on him. Having noticed how handsome he actually was she started to blush slightly, then she shook her head again trying to free herself out of his trance. The other three siblings thought about interfering but they were too amused by the drama.

“I said not hard enough! It doesn’t matter if you wanted him to be with you or not, if you hadn’t picked up a fight in the first place, he would have not been involved!” Y/N said with a firm voice, she knew her argument hardly made sense but she was angry and she hated Peters beautiful hair. He looked at her stunned, “didn’t you hear what John said? They attacked me first!”

“And god forbid you’d just walk away!” She said with the same amount of anger as Peter did.

“I shouldn’t have to!” He said trying to stay calm.

“You know what Peter, do whatever you want, I don’t care. I really don’t but at least don’t stop me, then try to apologize to me and then be angry at me anyways! Because I am done with this! Ow.” She said while turning around having felt that someone or something had pinched her. Peter looked at her confused, not even a second later Lucy felt the same thing and yelled at Susan, “OW!”

“Quiet, Lu.” Susan said calmly, looking at her sister.

“Something pinched me!” Said Lucy back, pointing at the wall.

“Hey! Stop pulling!” Exclaimed Peter turning to Edmund as he had suddenly felt the same thing, Edmund raised his hands a little in defense, “I am not touching you.”

Y/N looked at them confused and a second later the wind in the train station seemed to pick up immensely. Papers flew around, the light started to flicker and all of their hairs and clothes blowing around.

“It feels like magic.” Lucy said excited looking at Susan.

“Quick, everyone hold hands.” Said Susan after grabbing Lucy’s and Y/N’s hand. Y/N thought this was a bit silly and she didn’t want to hold Peter’s hand but she did it anyways. Edmund having a very similar feeling to Y/N just yelled, “I’m not holding your hand,” at Peter. “Just…” Peter blurred out and grabbed his brothers hand while feeling slightly warm because of Y/N’s hand in his left hand.

The five of them stood there in the train station and in the next moment they were on the beach. A beautiful white beach with the bluest water Y/N had ever seen, the other four just started to undress and run into the water laughing. Y/N didn’t pay too much attention to them, she just looked around the scenery not understanding in the slightest where she was or what just happened. When Peter looked at Y/N he walked over to her, sand on his bare feet and his shirt wet.

“You like it?” He asked her smiling from behind, he was just so incredibly happy to be back so that he barely noticed Y/Ns shocked face. She didn’t turn around, she just looked up the mountain to Cair Paravel or anyways what was left of it. “That’s not- I don’t- Where are we and why are you not freaked out, like at all?” Peter came closer standing beside her looking up to Cair Paravel too. “Because we’ve been here before.”

Later they explained everything to her, about them being kings and queens, about the white witch, Aslan, Tummnus, the beavers, the 100 years lasting winter, the wardrobe, the professor and everything else not leaving one single detail out of the story. Y/N was clearly confused and had to think about all the information she just gathered.

Peters thoughts were right, if Y/N hadn’t been magically ported to Narnia herself she would have not believed a single word but now she actually considered it.

Even later they had realized that the ruins they currently walked in had been their old castle, Cair Paravel. They found old chests and Y/N slowly understood why Peter had been so different over the last year. That night, all five of them tried to sleep in the castle ruins but Peter, he was sitting by the edge of the mountain, his legs close to his body and his head resting on his knees.

(For a better experience you could listen to Merry Christmas – Piano Version by Flying Fingers on Spotify starting now! :) )

“You know, you should really sit back a little, you might fall down.” Y/N said appearing behind Peter and sitting beside him, only a little further from the edge. He smiled at her a little tired and then kept looking straight forward into the night sky.

“I am sorry.” He said not looking at her.

“And?”

“And nothing.”

“No angry remark or anything?” She asked him extra dramatic as a joke.

He just scoffs, “stop it, I am not nearly as aggressive as you claim me to be.”

Y/N just slightly laughs. “True… I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.”

“You had every right. You didn’t know, I should have been the one to tell you instead of just going around and acting like a king.”

“Yeah about that, am I supposed to call you ‘your majesty’ now?” Y/N said slightly laughing and Peter joined her. “I would be delighted if the beautiful lady Y/L/N just called me by my regular name.” He said in a jokingly kingly tone and they laughed again.

“Beautiful huh?” She said nudging his arm slightly with hers and he smiled at her nodding.

“Certainly, lady Y/L/N you must be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.” He said bravely as the high king he is but Y/N got slightly flustered and turned her face to the front, away from Peter.

“Well you’re not the only one with good eyesight. Earlier at the train station… I thought you looked really handsome. I must have been too caught up in my own world to notice how handsome you’ve gotten in the past year.” That said he looked at her a little stunned and she quickly added, “not that you weren’t handsome before! It’s just I haven’t seen you in a while, at least not really and I was just surprised and why aren’t you stopping me?” She whined while rambling on and on.

Peter smiled at her again, “I appreciate it. I- I- Can I- Can I… kiss you?”

He said all of a sudden which may seems weird to you but you have to understand that both of them were in the most beautiful setting in the whole universe. The stars being much brighter in Narnia in the sky with the clearest beach in front of them on a little mountain, a slight breeze rushing through their hair. Having just reconnected with your best friend you had liked in a romantic way for forever, you would feel very similar to what they felt, happy.

Y/N just bit her lip, not in an erotic way. It looked more like a smiling donkey, she was just as happy and overwhelmed with feelings as he was and she nod her head up and down while smiling still. He touched her left cheek so softly that he almost didn’t feel it at all, then he leaned into her also smiling and they kissed each other, eyes closed and heads slightly tilted. It was a short but intense kiss for none of them had ever felt so safe in their entire life. Their foreheads rested against each other and with their eyes still closed they both laughed into the night.

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angelltheninth · 9 months

Note

May I request Miles, Hobie, and Pavitr being jealous? (Their girlfriend's childhood male friend came to visit from abroad, and now she's spending more time with him). Hope that made sense- Please and thank you!

It makes sense dw! I love jealousy hds!

Pairing: Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar x Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, jealousy, kissing, PDA, sharing clothes, being protective, being needy

A/N: Don't know what it is but jealousy looks cute on these guys.

Miles doesn't let too much of it show, he's more the subtle silent type who will do things like pout while holding your hand tighter when you're hanging out with your friend or let his kiss linger a few seconds more then usual when he sees your friend waiting for you to go hang out. He also sends you cute little texts and pictures exactly when he knows you're spending your time with your friend.

Doesn't get angry if you don't respond right away but whenever you don't he gets a little more clingy the next time he sees you, holding you real close when you watch a movie or pulling you to his side whenever possible. They're are all little things when looked at on their own but obvious to you.

"You're going with him again? Nah, it's cool, it's cool. Have fun okay. Hey, how about a kiss for me before you go hm? A little one? Oh no babe, of course I'm not gonna let you get away with just a tiny kiss. Not when you're going to see someone else. If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying real hard to make me jealous of your friend."

Hobie isn't afraid to show his jealousy to anyone at any time. At first he didn't much of you hanging out with your childhood friend, he seemed like a cool dude. But the moment he noticed you spending more and more time with him he got real territorial. He started lending you his jacket more and more often when you go out and buying matching rings and necklaces for you to wear specifically around your friend.

He is also very mischievous and you would say a little evil because every time you're getting ready to go out with your friend he will stop you and pull you into his lap first. Little marks on your neck, a few on your shoulders, even on your wrist, all for your friend to get the message loud and clear, you're taken.

"What's with all this squirmin'? Hold still or my lips might miss and go somewhere else. It ain't a threat sweetheart, a promise if more like it. Damn I can imagine the look on his face when you show up, wearing my stuff, covered in my kisses. I've seen how he looks at you, those aren't friendly looks. I'll make sure to give him something to see."

Pavitr really loves showing off how much he loves you and will do it in front of your friend too. When he first meets up with the two of you he pulls you into a hug and a big kiss, smiling when he hears you let out the smallest whimper. He knows your friend heard it too, in fact he will make the kisses last longer when your friend is within ear shot of you.

Has one arms thrown around your shoulder at all times when you're your friends company and just so happens to show him his lock screen which is the two of you cuddling in bed while you're kissing his cheek. He wouldn't call himself jealousy though in fact that's one fact that he'll always get embaressed over if you bring it up.

"Jealous? Me? No, I don't think so baby, I really like spending time with you that's all. Of course you can spend your time catching up with your friend too, I have no problem with that. Do you have time to go on a date tomorrow? No reason, I just miss you that's all. Do I need a reason to spend time with you?"

#miles morales x reader #hobie brown x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse imagine #spiderverse headcanon #spiderverse fluff #spiderman fluff #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel headcanons #marvel fluff #marvel x you #miles morales fluff #hobie brown fluff #pavitr fluff #x reader

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leclucklerc · 7 months

Text

Check Point MV1 - 01. Product of Glory

Pairings: Max Verstappen x Actress!Reader

Summary: She should've realized that coming back to Formula One after quitting the sport years ago is a bad idea. Especially considering that most of your childhood friends and rivals from your karting days are now in the paddock.

Word Count: 4.2k

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Weekends had always been her favorite part of the week.

Besides the fact that it's a time when there's no school, weekends had always been more special. When she was younger, weekends means that she’s going to watch her dad race. To feel the thrill of Formula One as she cheered for the man on the red car. Weekend means going to a dinner with her parents, still high from her dad win and spending the night laughing and spending time together.

When her dad decided to retire from motorsport, weekends mean another thing.

Weekend means racing.

Though this time it’s not her dad in a red car who race. This time it’s her who’s racing. It’s her who goes on top of kart and race against people her age. It’s her who got cheered on. It’s her, who will bring a smile on her dad face as he saw her with pride clear on his eyes.

Y/n loves weekends.

“Hi,” greeted the girl, smile wide and eyes crinkling. “Good race, huh?”

The blue-eyed boy furrowed his eyebrows at her while the other one, a dark haired one, let out a small smile at that. She could feel the stare that they directed towards the trophy on her hand. No doubt jealous at the number one engraved on it.

It only made her giggle, as she proudly showed it towards the two boys.

The three of them are now huddled in a corner somewhere in the karting track, adrenaline still high from the race earlier and hair still wet from all the sweat under their helmet. They still could hear the hustle and bustle from the crowd that had attended the race this weekend. The distant sound of chatters and karting engine.

It had been a tough race, a race where the three of them shoved each other on the track. Each trying to gain better position from the others. Each, trying to become the winner of the race.

Though, despite all of that, in this small corner, they felt that there’s only the three of them in this world. There is no strict parents, heavy expectations, or uncertain futures. In this little corner, there are only the three of them. The three champions with too much talent and boundless possibilities for their future.

“You’re only saying that cause you beat us,” said the dark haired one in a heavily accented English. Well, to be fair, all of them are speaking in a heavily accented English, considering y/n too mainly talked in French with her parents. "If you had lost you would've been crying right now."

"Psh, I'm not a crybaby like you guys," she laughed it off.

"I'm not a crybaby!"

Said girl grin only widened before she sat in front of the two boys. The trophy still clutched tightly as she adjusted it on her lap, not wanting to break it.

“Sore loser,” teased the girl. “You look like you want to fight me when I passed you in the last lap,” this part was directly directed towards the blue-eyed boy who had been moodily staring at her since the start.

“I did not” muttered the boy, also answering in a heavily accented English. Though, the accent is different from the previous boy and hers. He began leaning back towards the stack of wheels behind them. “I just don’t like losing.”

“Who likes losing?” asked back the dark haired one as he fiddled with his helmet on his hand. “I don’t.”

“No one,” agreed on the girl with a nod of her head. Inside of her head, she could already imagine all of the headlines and news if she ever performed badly in a race. Accusations of her being untalented to the blatant questioning if she’s her father daughter.

She can’t lose.

There is no way she can allow herself to lose.

“If we want to make it to Formula 1, we have to hate losing,” continue the girl as she sat in front of the two boys. "It's all about the mentality y'know?"

“Y/n is right,” said the dark-haired boy, nodding. “Also, my dad is not that happy if I got second place, so I really should win.”

“What Charles said,” said the girl. “Pretty sure my dad will also be disappointed if I don’t win a race.”

The other boy, Max, nodded his head sulkily. He doesn’t need to say how upset his father would be if he ever loses because both y/n and Charles knew that already.

Jos Verstappen, after all, is a terrifying figure.

While of course both Charles’s dad and y/n’s dad would be disappointed if they had a bad race, they would never throw a literal temper tantrum to them. They would console the both of them because they know, no matter how disappointed they are, the one that is the most disappointed is the children themselves. Instead of anger, they would offer them ice cream and advice. They would offer a shoulder to cry to and ears to ramble to. Max dad on the other hand-

(“Why did you lose?” asked Jos Verstappen, tone grave and eyes glaring daggers at the boy in fronf of him. He looks terrifying. Like a giant ready to stomp on those under him.

Max trembled, not daring to stare at the older man. “I-“ he started. “I-“ he desperately tried to get the words out. To force his throat to talk and explain and yet, no matter how much he tried, he just cant. As if, his body is refusing to even defy the man in front of him.

Y/n watched, heart trembling as she hid behind a building near them. Too scared to help and yet, at the same time she desperately wants to help her best friend.

But her feet just won’t move. Rooted on her spot as she silently watches the conftoration unfolds.

Coward.)

He’s terrifying. From the way he would yell at Max or the glare that he would throw to everyone in the room. From his large stature to the way he never looked that happy to see Max hanging out with y/n or Charles.

The three of them had basically grow up together with racing. Y/n doesn’t even remember when was the first time was the three of them had ended up in the same race, all she knows, one way or another, they had been racing against each other for the longest time.

It has always been the three of them on the podium. The three of them against the world. Sometimes y/n wins, sometimes Max wins, sometimes Charles wins. Her father had once said that the three of them is taking turn for the first place.

Before she knew it, she had become close with her two rivals.

(A lot of time, y/n would feel a bit guilty if she won first place. Because she knew what would happen to Max. She knew that his dad doesn’t like to see him in second place.

Though alas, the drug called winning is an addicting one. Moreso when you’re not mature enough to realize the consequences of your actions. Moreso, when you still watched the world through a rose-tinted glass.)

They’re her closest friends. The very first people that she talked to and confide to. It’s them against the world. It’s their dream against everything in the world.

Even though they live in three different countries – Max in the Netherlands, Charles in Monaco, and y/n in France – she felt as if they’re always with each other. Maybe it’s the frequent phone calls or maybe it’s the holidays that their family often arranged together.

No matter what it is, she can always say confidently that both max and Charles is her best friends.

“Do you think we’re going to make it to formula one?” asked Max after a while, a thoughtful frown tugging his lips down. The silence between the three of them had been a bit unusual, though it’s not an uncomfortable one.

Both Charles and y/n exchanged a glance. “What? Are you doubting yourself?” said y/n, raising her eyebrows.

Max shook his head. “No, I’m doubting the both of you.”

Y/n and Charles hit his arm playfully.

“Rude,” huffed out y/n. “As if you’re going to enter Formula One before me.”

“You will never enter Formula One if you still have that kind of sloppy overtake- ouch! Stop hitting me!” complained Max as the girl continue to hit his shoulder playfully.

The girl rolled her eyes. “That’s what you get for doubting my skill.”

"I won't be doubting your skill if you can actually kart properly-"

"You're so mean!"

Immediately after that, a laugh rang out. Both y/n and Max turned their head towards Charles who was laughing at them. Oddly, the both of them too started to laugh soon. The previously tense atmosphere from the earlier conversation gone as they enjoyed the moment together.

Truly, they looked like children their age here. Not someone who has a too heavy expectations and fame that’s threatening to consume her. Not someone with uncertain future and the desperation to show the world his talent. Not someone, with a father who doesn’t know to be a dad.

In this moment, the three of them are just children playing around. Something that they hardly did with all of the burdens that they have to bear despite their young age.

After a while, the laughter ceased, and the atmosphere had lightened up considerably. They looked relaxed, as they shared smiles with each other.

“We’re going to formula one, obviously,” said Charles, grinning. “We’re so good at karting!”

The way he said it was full of conviction without a hint of doubt. It made Max and y/n believed in him. As if, the case of them being a formula one driver is not a matter of if, but a when. That it’s only a matter of time before all three of them would drive for the top teams in Formula One.

It made her believe an almost impossible possibility.

Of her, still racing with her friends. Of her, making her dad proud with it. Of her, still sharing the camera with her mother.

A future with endless possibilities that she looked forward to.

“For sure,” grinned y/n. “We’ll make it to Formula one and we’ll race in Monaco!”

“Yeah!”

Though, back then, the three of them doesn’t know that yes. That dream will only stay as a simple childish dream.

Y/n l/n is many things.

She’s one of the most famous celebrities in Hollywood, the highest paid actress for the last few years. She has won Oscars, many times. Emmys, also many times, and other acting awards that could possibly exist in the planet. She's a fashion icon, an ambassador of many fashion houses and jewelries. She's a charming woman, someone that can get everybody's attention by just entering the room.

Y/n l/n is the talk of the town now.

Well, it’s not like that she’s not the talk of the town before. As one of most recognizable celebrity on earth, it’s normal for people to gossips and talked about her. Every now and then, her name would sit at the top of the trending topic. So, being the talk of the town is not something new to her. Now though, the reason why she’s even mentioned so much lately is the now viral video of her in her Jimmy Kimmel interview.

Y/N L/N ALMOST BECOMES A FORMULA ONE DRIVER?

2,5 million views. Posted 1d ago.

She whistled at the number.

“It really is a good promotion,” said Andrew, her manager as he scrolled past his iPad. “We can cut the marketing budget for Product of Glory a bit,” he continued., sounding a bit pleased at that. “The producer is really thankful for that.”

The two of them is sitting on y/n’s living room, monitoring the public response from her appearance in Jimmy Kimmel. Besides Andrew, she could also see her private assistant walking around the house, no doubt doing an errand that she had asked beforehand. Though besides that, the mansion is quiet.

“Pay me more then,” laughed the female as she looked up from her phone. “I revealed my dark past for everyone to enjoy after all.”

“Well, I thank you for revealing your dark past or whatever," muttered the male, not even looking up from his iPad. "It will bring a lot of buzz to the movie considering well-“

“Considering it’s a movie about my parents?” asked y/n, raising her eyebrow.

“Well yeah,” agreed the man. "And it's also about Formula One, so it's related."

In hindsight, y/n really do think that there is no way her newest movie – Product of Glory – will be a failure. After all, it’s a high budgeted movie with star studded cast and an experienced director. The reason why she’s even taking the role was because it has an amazing script, something that will bring some kind of Oscar buzz surely.

Besides that, the movie is about Formula One. Mainly, the love story between a Formula One legend and Hollywood icon back in the 80’s and 90’s. The turbulence romance between a high-profile athlete and a high-profile actress. Both were at the top of their respective fields, making their relationship basically the power couple of the entertainment and the sport industry.

Before David and Victoria Beckham were even a thing, Reynold and Nicole l/n were the couple. The wet dream of every tabloid back in the day. With that kind of history, it has enough noise to make people anticipates the movie.

And then, the main actress of the movie and the daughter of Nicole l/n went into the Jimmy Kimmel show and shocked the world.

It didn’t take a lot of time for people to verify that information and confirm that yes, y/n l/n is telling the truth and yes, y/n l/n got a really successful karting career back then. So successful that she was part of the Ferrari driver’s academy back in the day. So successful that she actually raced with so many famous names. Names that is now currently racing at the pinnacle of motorsport.

Without her now viral clip, many had put high expectation for the movie. Now, after revealing her almost career choice, people practically salivate at the thought of watching the movie.

“Is this good for my image?” she asked, finger thumbing around the video and yet she didn’t click on it. Should she watch it?

Truthfully, revealing her karting past is not something that she had planned before. The Jimmy Fallon team didn't even told her that it's a topic that they will brought up during the interview. Imagine her shock when said host brought out a photo from her karting days.

Memories of that time had resurfaced almost immediately. Things that she wants to bury and forget.

It had made her nervous, heels clicking on the carpeted floor as she tried to think on what she should do. Her exit from the world of motorsport had been really abrupt after all. There are so many things left unsaid, so many things that she should've brought closure to.

And yet she didn't.

So she had retell the tale of her karting journey. Of how she had decided that acting is more of her thing compared to racing. That in the end, her heart lies on playing a character in front of a camera. Like a mindless puppet.

“An amazing one,” said Andrew. “People really like the contrast of being an actress and a racing driver,” continue the man. “And Formula One is really popular right now, almost rivaling soccer, so it’s a huge boost for your image.”

“My dad will love it,” said y/n, letting out a dry chuckle. “I swear he’s a bit bitter when I chose acting years ago.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “The great Reynold l/n being bitter? Hard to imagine,” said the man. “He always seems friendly and easygoing.”

“It’s cause you know him after he retired from his racing career,” answered the female. “Mom likes to say that dad used to be a huge asshole when he was still active. Well, an asshole that she really likes so she just thought it was hot.”

The male let out laugh at that, amused. “Anyway, because of the interview, people are expecting you to be in the Miami GP this year,” he said. “A lot of people had thought that you were attending last year.”

“I was filming in Switzerland,” answered the female in order to defend herself. Truthfully, it’s not a good defense, considering the filming is not something mandatory. Y/n was just searching for a reason to skip Miami GP last year. She knows it and Andrew too knows it.

“Right,” said Andrew, not sounding convinced the slightest. “Mercedes and Red Bull had actually asked you to join them as a guest,” he continue as he showed her an email that he had received from both teams. “They seem pretty enthusiastic about that.”

Mercedes and Red Bull.

Bad idea.

Y/n sighed, “I’m attending with my dad, so it’s obvious that I’m going to go to the Ferrari garage.” Well, it’s not like Ferrari is a better option. But at least she will have a shield there, namely her dad.

Andrew hummed. “Well, I just thought that you maybe want to avoid both Red Bull and Ferrari garage.”

And isn’t that another can of worms that she has to open?

Tapping her feet – a nervous tick of hers – she let her mind wander to all the possibilities that she could encounter during the Grand Prix. She knows that attending a race is a bad idea. A really bad one considering she knows almost everyone on the grid.

It’s a bad idea and y/n knows it.

She really really knows it.

An image of a blond- and dark-haired boy appeared inside of her head. Of them racing together, of them spending their holidays together. Of them, laughing and enjoying each other company.

“Ugh,” groaned the female. “I don’t fucking know, okay?”

“Well, you better think about it,” said Andrew, closing his iPad as he stared at her. “Because the Miami GP is happening soon, and I really need to confirm your attendance to the teams.”

Y/n gave him a thumbs up, mulling about her decision.

Maybe y/n had regretted her decision to choose acting over racing, once upon a time.

But that was during a hard time of her life, during the weird period where she’s oftentimes considered too old for a child role but too young for an adult role. It was during the time where the phrase nepo-baby were stuck into her like a parasite, sucking her life force more and more as she continues to live in the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles with rows and rows of failed auditions behind her.

Her mother had told her once that you will be happy if you excel at your job. That you will find happiness only when you managed to find success at the thing that you do.

She agrees on that, considering that she had never looked back on racing the moment she won her first Oscar as a lead actress at the tender age of 18.

Now, seven years after that, y/n never even thought about formula one besides when she’s watching the race with her father.

“So close-!” Exclaimed her father as he leaned forward, eyes trained towards the heated race between Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc. “Ah, he really needs to brake here or-!”

Y/n almost winced as she watched how the Red bull and Ferrari almost crashed with each other.

“Dad,” she called out, reaching towards the older man who will certainly fall from the sofa with how he leaned forward. “Relax dad, you’ll fall at this rate,” said the female as she tugged the man back.

Her dad let out a huff. “Seriously!” he let out. “Ferrari really need to get the world champion this year! Charles is leading the driver championship but they’re only at the second place in the constructor and Mattia really need to get their shittogether at this point!”

“I know, I know,” she said. “You can tell Mattia directly during the Miami GP, no?”

“Obviously I will.”

The female let out an amused snort at that.

Formula One had been going into a new direction as of late, something that her father had been really excited about. Last year, during the 2021 season, Max Verstappen managed to place first in the World’s Driver Championship. Ending Lewis Hamilton seven consecutive title. While Mercedes managed to still win the Constructor Championship, y/n really can’t help but thought that this was the beginning of a new era in the sport.

When last year Miami GP had come around, her father had practically jumped around in excitement. Y/n gets it though, after moving to LA after his retirement in order to fully support his wife career and help raising y/n, the man had never really had many chances to go back to his racing roots.

That’s why every time a new Formula One season came around; her father would always make sure that he’ll watch almost every race.

The current grid of Formula One is a bit different, in her humble opinion. After all, there is so much young and talented drivers racing right now.

From Red Bull’s newest golden boy to Ferrari’s ‘Il Predestinato’.

Her father had thought that the nickname was fitting for the Monegasque, had praised Ferrari’s decision to put him in the team with Sebastian Vettel back in 2019. He had praised when Max debuted in Toro Rosso back in 2015, just one year after his admittance to Red Bull Junior Program and y/n’s retirement from the world of racing.

He had praised them more considering that both had also been her childhood best friends.

Had been.

“Max and Charles were asking for you,” said the man as they watched Charles’s red Ferrari won the Australian Grand Prix. Y/n really can’t help the proud feeling that’s settling inside of her chest. Something similar to what she had felt almost one year ago as she watched the race in Abu Dhabi. “Back in Bahrain.”

“Well,” started the female. “It’s not like I never talked to them anymore.”

“Max said you replied to his messages once a week,” continue the man. “And you always refused their holiday invitations every off season or summer break.”

“Well,” started the female again, readying to defend herself. “I just think it’s a bit awkward, I don’t even know their friends.”

“How about that time when they visited me here? Why did you leave as soon as they arrived?” proved her father further, referring to last year when both Max and Charles had visited him just before Miami GP.

“Back then I was-“ Though, she came short. “Uh- I really don’t have anything to say about that.”

She remembered all the countless invitations and messages that was left on read. All of the missed calls, or even the dry group chat that they had between the three of them.

It’s a bit painful to look at. To see what their relationship had become. To see, the relationship crumbled and destroyed under her hand.

Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? She really doesn’t have any reason to ignore her childhood friends one-sidedly for years.

Her father stared at her. “You know, it’s not fair to you, and to the both of them,” continue the man as he turned his attention back on the television. “I think the last time you met either of them was back in 2018, when Charles was about to debut in Formula One.”

She really doesn’t have any excuse for that.

After all, the three of them had been inseparable since their karting days. With how often they had raced against each other, it’s only normal for them to eventually bond and make friends with each other. Charles or Max had once said that there’s no way both would even be friends if there’s no y/n to be the middleman amidst their fierce rivalry.

They had spent summers and holidays together, their parents knew each other, they had supported each other racing career.

Regarding their fallout, y/n likes to think that it’s only normal for childhood friends to not become friends with each other over the years. That it’s normal for them to find better friends or better environments compared to their restricted childhood.

Though, y/n is also painfully aware that their fallout was not because of that.

They’re still each other closest confidants. They’re still each other biggest supporters. They’re still each other best friends.

The reason why they became like this, was because, y/n decided to back away.

Maybe it was regret or maybe it was the guilt that’s eating her away. Maybe it’s because what happened back in 2014 in Monaco or maybe it’s because what happened in the 2015 Australian Grand Prix. There are a lot of things that she must unpack regarding her past in Formula One and instead to do all of that, she decided to run away.

A bit embarrassing, but that’s what she did best. Always running away. Always, avoiding her problems one way or another.

Max used to call her out about that. This ugly habit of hers that absolutely refuses conflict and choose the easiest way out.

“Are you going to attend this year GP?” asked her father after a few minutes of silence. “I know you had mentioned that you’re going to attend it, but are you sure?”

“I want to talk to you about that actually,” said the girl. “Because well, I know you will watch from Ferrari and I actually got invited to both Mercedes and Red Bull, but like you know how I will always try to avoid Ferrari and Red Bull-“

“Breath, darling,” said her dad, stopping her rant. “Breath.”

She took a deep breath. “I know,” said the woman. “I was panicking. A bit.”

Her father hummed at that; amusement clear on his face. “Well, I must say, that I’m glad that the time finally came.”

“What time?”

“For you to talk to Max and Charles again,” replied the older man. “I’m a bit tired to become the messenger bird for the three of you again.”

“Funny,” she lets out. “It’s going to be so awkward when it’s been years since is stared avoiding them.”

“Completely your fault.”

“I know.”

Silence fell between the two of them. On the television, the post-race interview began playing. Charles’s face appeared first as he began narrating today’s race and singing praises to the car this weekend.

“Do you think we can be friends again?” asked y/n finally in a small voice.

His dad turned towards her. “Darling, I don’t think the three of you ever stopped being friends.”

It’s the 2022 Miami Grand Prix.

It’s the 2022 Miami Grand Prix and y/n l/n is staring at Max Verstappen who also seemed shocked at her presence.

“Uh-“ she started. “Hi?”

taglist!

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ferociousmochis · 8 months

Note

HEY GIRL! so so so happy you are back bby <3

Can we get some soft Alex? Maybeee childhood friends trope, but Alex was an ass and now he wants her bad? Also virgin reader if possible xx

Regrets and Roses

Alex Turner X Fem!Reader

Warnings: long ass story bit, fingering, multiple orgasm, penetrative sex (p in v), a little bit of sad stuff, oral (fem receiving), praise, virgin reader

It was never one of those "love at first sight" stories, in fact, love was out of the question, or so you thought.

You and Alex had known each other practically your entire lives. Your moms were best friends, so you'd subsequently grown up together. You were sandbox friends, spending weekends in each other's gardens, while your mothers sipped tea on the patio. They always playfully joked about how you’d surely get married one day.

But, that's not to say that you always got along.

Alex always teased you, especially in high school. The truth is you'd had a desperate crush on him when you were younger, and when he became too cool for you, it broke your heart. You knew you would never be one of the glamorous girls he took to school dances or the models in the magazines he flipped through with his friends. Alex wasn't the most popular guy, but he still had some merit and always a girl or two on his arm.

Of course, you couldn’t possibly imagine telling him how you felt. However, you never were quite able to hide your feelings, always wearing your heart on your sleeve. It was almost sadistic how he knowingly played with your emotions every chance he got. Every family function was torture knowing he would always be there, pestering you to no end.

As time passed you both grew up and the past faded away. You both occasionally crossed paths at first but once Alex’s career took off you veered off in completely different directions, following your passions. You weren't surprised when Alex became the world-renowned superstar he always wanted to be. The lifestyle suited him, at least the hair gel and the groupies did for sure.

You'd opened a little flower shop on the corner by your childhood home. You lived and breathed it. It was everything you'd ever dreamed of as a little girl materialized before you. You worked day and night tending to your greenhouse and working on arrangements.

Alex quickly learned being a rockstar wasn’t all it was choked up to be. I mean sure he adored it, traveling the world and sharing his passion with roaring crowds who fell at his feet but the trail of broken relationships and drunken hookups he left behind him solidified his feelings of loneliness. It became impossible to find a genuine connection; the screaming people out in those crowds, the girls in his bed each night, and every new face he met knew him as Alex Turner this sultry rockstar stage creation he’d made for himself like a beautifully decorated mask. He tried to fill the gaps but that was hardly possible.

Despite his busy schedule, he always made time to reach out to his parents back home. His mother called often, still always worried about him traveling so often so when the phone started to ring he already figured out who would be on the other line. The sun prodded harshly through the loosely drawn curtains, illuminating his bedroom in an orange glow. Rolled over strenuously, the soft white sheets falling from his bare chest. His head was pounding, a reminder of the night's activities, along with the unknown woman stirring beside him. He rubbed his temple harshly before picking up the phone. “Good morning, dear!”, his mother chirped on the other line. He managed a groggy greeting in response, prompting his mother to reprimand him for not getting enough sleep.

She loved to chat. Most times he thought she just loved the sound of her own voice, but he always indulged her, knowing how much she missed having him around. She was going on about her flower beds when she mentioned a name in passing that he hadn’t heard in years. “Y/N L/N?”, he inquired. “Yes of course?” She replied matter-of-factly, before resuming whatever trivial topic she was babbling about. The memories struck him like a brick to the back of the head. You hadn’t crossed his mind in a long time.

He recalled your first day of high school together, the way you blushed every time he looked in your direction. You were always so sweet and tender. How you waited to walk to school with him that morning, and how he left you at your doorstep as he went about with his new friends,

The time he flirted with you just to get answers for that week's math assignment,

The time he brought his latest fling to your family’s dinner party just for laughs.

He winced at the memories and the many more that followed. The guilt weighed on him for how horribly he treated you. Yet you were always there at his beck and call, despite each cruel act. Your only crime was loving him and not meeting his standards. Maturity smacked him in the face as he was forced to face the reality of his actions.

“How’s Y/N?” he blurted. His mother was caught rather off guard by the question, “Well her shop’s doing fantastic, you know she's just so sweet, she helps me prune the hydrangeas every spring-”. “Her shop?”, he questioned. “Her flower shop, dear”, his mother replied confusion lacing her tone. He couldn’t help the smile that crept up his lips. You always loved flowers, meddling about in your front garden with his mother and your own.

Consumed by his thoughts, he could hardly concentrate on his mother’s ramblings. He couldn’t help but type your name into the search bar, he had to see how you were doing. A social media profile popped up, but the photos simply had to be someone else. Yet they had your name scrawled on each one. You weren’t the shy nerdy teenager anymore. Your once geeky appearance turned soft and divinely feminine. You were inexplicably beautiful. He sat in shock for a moment, a dumbfounded expression hanging over his face. Your warm smile sat illuminating his phone screen, his eyes flicked back to the woman in his bed. Truthfully he didn't even know her name, she was a reflection of his lifestyle. Extravagant pleasures felt empty and meaningless without someone special to share them with.

Your cute little shop was tagged just under your name, he couldn’t help himself.

When the order came in you were positively shocked. You quite literally lept for joy, your small shop certainly held its own but this was the largest order anyone had ever put a request in for; 10 large bundles of baby pink roses, each tied with a white ribbon. You set the date for two weeks from now and joyfully began fluttering about your greenhouse

Your nerves pricked with excitement as you jumped out of bed. Today was the day you were expecting the big client and you were ecstatic, to say the least. You'd been in contact with them for a few weeks now and they had insisted on meeting in person to take a look at some of your rose color variations and check up on the progress you’d made. They detailed in their email that they'd been planning a lavish event of sorts and it would be incomplete without your large collections of sweet, colorful roses.

You almost skipped through the door, flipping the closed sign resting on the doorframe to open. The start of your day was pretty standard. Mr Atkinson stopped in like clockwork every Sunday. “Your usual?”, you smiled handing him the prepared bundle of lilies and baby’s breath. “Until the Mrs. gets tired of me”, He chuckled, his cheerful wrinkly smile always warmed your heart. Just as you turned back to the old man you caught a glimpse of him. A vision trick of the past.

The soft, familiar sound of your delicate laugh melted him almost instantly as he set foot in the door. His demeanor remained confident until he saw you look back at him. When your eyes met he saw the color drain from your face, a sight that felt like a punch to the gut. You tried to shake your nerves as you resumed your conversation, saying farewell to the old patron. You turn back to face him, feigning a smile. “I’m here for a large order of arrangements..”, he trailed off, you were more beautiful in person. Your cheeks were rosy and your hair looked so soft, he couldn’t help but be infatuated with you. “Right this way sir”, you nodded plainly.

As you lead him through the little shop, he takes note of everything. The scattered pots and vases, the colorful flowers, and the sweet scent of fresh blooms in the air. It all brought back memories of when he used to tease you relentlessly for loving them so much. His heart aches with guilt and regret. “You seem quite famous around here nowadays,” he asks hesitantly, trying not to stare too much at your beauty. “I’m hardly famous, sir, I believe you’re the celebrity out of the two of us”, You respond politely. The formalities stung. It was as if you’d severed all ties with him, refusing to even use his name. You lead him back into one of the greenhouses with the many bundles of roses strewn about the tables.

“Well even if you’re not famous to everyone else, you’re certainly famous to me” He replies sincerely, “Your flower arrangements are truly amazing.”. “Thank you sir”, you quietly replied. You were almost afraid to say his actual name, it brought back too many painful memories from your childhood.

He watches as you carefully place the last of each individual flower into its respective spot within the arrangement. The sight of your delicate hands working so gracefully fills him with a mixture of longing and regret. He loved sharing his music with the world, he wasn’t sure if he could ever get enough of the rush, but he couldn’t shake the itch of what could've been had he stayed behind and lived a simple, peaceful life with you. “You know.. I never thought I would come here today,” he admits quietly, unable to keep the sadness from creeping into his voice. “But seeing you like this..”, he continued, “I wish things could have been different”.

You almost grew angry, feeling like he had the audacity to say such things after everything he put you through. “Well, sir, you certainly made things this way”, you reply coldly, keeping your composure even. His heart sinks at your response, and he knows your right. He should have reached out sooner before he left Sheffield, but fear and pride held him back. “I know I wasn’t the best person back then, Y/N” he admitted shamefully, “I can’t even begin to apologize for the pain and humiliation I’ve caused you.. I want to be better- seeing you like this makes me want to be better, I’ll make amends in any way I possibly can.”. “I’m not sure if that’s possible now, Alex”, your tone of voice wasn’t angry or aggressive, if anything it was tired and saddened.

His eyes meet yours, and they brim with genuine remorse, “Maybe not fully, but I want to try anyway,” he says earnestly, taking a small step closer to you, “I want to make things right between us”. “I gave you that chance many years ago, and you burnt me”, You sighed, averting your eyes, “You left scars on my heart that will never fade, I’m not sure I can open myself up like that again”. He takes another step towards you, his expression pleading. “Please give me another chance, Y/N”, his voice cracks slightly as he speaks, revealing the depth of his emotions, “Let me show you I’ve changed, that I’m not the same person I was before.”

Years ago you would’ve given everything to hear him say that, but now you hardly know what to say. “I-I don’t know”, you manage to stutter out. He reaches out and gently touches your arm, his fingers lingering against your skin. “Please..”, he whispers, his voice dripping with vulnerability, “give me the chance to prove I’m worthy of your forgiveness”.

You think about it for a few seconds. Maybe he’s different now, you suppose it won’t hurt to find out for yourself. “Okay”, you sigh, “I’m free after I close up here”. He perks up instantly, looking like a kid on Christmas, “My hotel is just up the street, the bar has some half-decent food?”. You accept, biting back the ghost of a smile threatening to creep upon your lips. He nods gratefully, “Thank you, Y/N”.

The workday flies by as a mixture of anxiety and anticipation consumes your thoughts. You walk home, opening your door with a soft sigh. You sat at your vanity, styling your hair for the night, decorating it with a simple ribbon. You painted your cheeks with a light blush and fluffed out your eyelashes with some mascara. You picked out a dainty white sundress littered with small flowers. The material was light and soft against your skin, making you feel almost as if you were floating with each step. When going through your closet you spot a dainty matching set of lace underwear. With a small smile, you took it out deciding you wanted to feel extra pretty tonight, even if no one else got to see them. Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe the way you're feeling, you certainly hadn’t expected the day to unfold the way it has. You slip on some heels and grab your purse before slipping out the door.

You yelp, startled, as you bump into him. He feels awful, grabbing hold of your forearms to steady you. “I’m so sorry!”, he gasped. He was wearing a linen, baby blue button down with the first couple buttons unclasped, a pair of dark trousers, and leather dress shoes. He held a single daisy in his hand, your favorite. He smiled a warm goofy smile, the small flower adding a gentle touch of charm to his already charming demeanor. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist stopping by to escort you over”, he explains, holding out the flower towards you.

You blush at the gesture, accepting the delicate flower. Perhaps he really has changed. You walk down the street side-by-side as he cracks some bad jokes and talks about the people you used to know. A faint smile spreads across your lips as you loosen up to the idea of being around him once more. As you chat about old friends and acquaintances, he can sense the lingering tension starting the fade away from your body language. His own nerves began to ease with yours, and soon you’re both laughing and enjoying each other company from cozy barstools.

“So tell me,” he asks, leaning forward with genuine curiosity, “what brings you the most happiness since those days?”. “Nothing too exciting, but I enjoy the simplicity of being a florist. You know I always loved tending the garden”, You smile, siping a martini. He nods understandingly, appreciating your passion. “That's wonderful”, he replies, taking a sip of his own drink, “it must be incredibly rewarding to create something so delicate and breathtaking”. “You could say that”, you smile. His sincerity appears so genuine, making it easy to forget who he used to be. His eyes lock onto yours, and for a moment, it feels as if time stands still. In that moment, he truly sees you.

He swallows hard, trying to find the words to express how deeply moved he is by the person you’ve become in his absence. "You're truly amazing, Y/N," he says softly, reaching across the table to take your hand in his, "I can't believe how far you've come.". The contact makes you nervous like a teenager on their first date, “Thank you, Alex”. “And thank you for giving me the time of day, even when I didn’t deserve it”, his eyes are full of emotion as he gazes into yours, seeking reassurance and validation of the newfound connection you’ve established. You remain speechless at his response. Noticing your silence, he sucks in a deep breath and continues, "I promise to do everything in my power to prove to you how sorry I am for the way I treated you.", His voice is raw with vulnerability and honesty. Alex has always been poetic, always having a way with words. It was one of the things that made you fall for him years ago. You smile back warmly, nodding in response.

You spent the night chatting over drinks and mediocre food. Hours upon hours had passed and as the dusk faded into night, you found yourself alone in the corner of the dark, empty bar. The more intoxicated you both get, the more he grows curious about what you’ve been up to while he's been gone. "Have you been seeing anyone since.. well since I left?", he asked. You thought back to the many hands you’ve rejected throughout the years, "Well no, I've just been trying to focus on the business I suppose..". He seems relieved to hear that you haven’t settled for someone else during his absence, and his expression softens further as he takes your hand in his again. "Well I'm glad to hear that," he says honestly, squeezing your hand gently. "Because if there's one thing I know for certain right now, it's that I never want to lose you again.", his eyes hold a depth of sincerity and longing that speak volumes about the feelings he's harboring.

You nervously shift, “Alex.. I still am not completely sure about this”. He looks at you intently, his expression a mixture of hope and uncertainty. "I understand that it might take some time for you to trust me again," he says gently, "But all I ask is for the opportunity to prove myself to you along the way. To show you that I've really changed". “Okay,” you agree cautiously, a small smile painted on your lips. His face lightens up once more with relief and excitement, and he leans in close, pressing a tender kiss on your lips. "Thank you," he whispers against your mouth, "For giving me another chance.". This gesture causes your cheeks to burn a bright red “Please know that I cherish this moment and every moment we share from now on”, he brushes a strand of hair away from your forehead with tenderness, before placing another gentle kiss on your cheek.

You look into his eyes, filled with intense emotion and the overconfidence of alcohol. Love from the past bursting through the many walls you’d built around your heart. For the first time, you can see your feelings reflected in his eyes. You take a shaky breath before you cup his cheeks, pulling his lips to yours.

At the touch of your lips on his he responds eagerly, wrapping his arms around you and deepening the kiss. The intensity of your connection is palpable, and it feels like time has stopped as you explore each other's mouths with growing passion. When you finally break apart for air, you both gasp for breath, your faces flushed and hearts racing. You glance around at the quiet room before turning back to him, your eyes projecting your desires, “I never got over you, you know”. His eyes widen in surprise at your admission, he hesitates for a moment before asking softly, "Really? But...after everything I did to you?". He can't help but feel a mix of gratitude and confusion as he processes what you’ve just said to him. “It was always you, Alex”, you whisper softly against his lips. As he listens to your words, feeling a wave of emotions wash over him: guilt, happiness, and a profound sense of gratitude. He cups your face in his hands and looks into your eyes, "I don't deserve this," he says honestly, "But I'll do anything to make it up to you." His voice is thick with desire, and he leans in for another soulful kiss, pouring all of his desperate feelings into it.

He breaks the kiss once more, gasping for air, “Come with me,”, he urges, grasping your hand. You follow him closely as he leads you down a winding hallway until you reach his room. Once inside he turns to face you, his eyes burning with lust as he takes in your beauty. He reaches out to run his fingers through your hair, savoring the silky texture beneath his fingertips. "God, you're stunning," he murmurs, "And I can't believe I almost let you go.".

He leans down to capture your lips once more, his kisses deep and hungry. As Your passion intensifies, he leads you over to the bed, setting you up on the soft mattress as his hands mold to your curves. You nervously grasp his wrist, “Alex- I haven’t ever been with anyone..”. You’re shy and embarrassed by the fact, but he responds with understanding and gentleness, “That’s okay”, he reassures, “we don't have to-”. You cut him off as you press your lips to his, catching him by surprise. He moves closer to you, his body pressing against yours as he begins to explore your skin with his hands, learning your curves and contours as you tangle in the darkness. You gasp at the unfamiliar sensation of his hands on your sensitive body.

He watches your reactions, continuing to caress you gently, gradually building up to more intimate touches as he learns what makes you tick. His voice is low and soothing as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. “Trust me,” he says softly, “I won’t hurt you”. You slowly undress each other in a gentle mess of kisses and longing touches. With each passing moment, you fall deeper into each other's arms. You reach out to him, your fingertips gliding down his toned chest. He gasps at the touch of your hands on his skin, feeling a surge of heat coursing through his veins. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you even closer, returning the favor by tracing light patterns across the small of your back. “You’re incredible, Y/N”, he whispers, “So perfect”. His hands trail down your back to the curve of your ass, the contact making you whimper quietly. He leans down, capturing your lips once more, his kisses deep and hungry. You kiss back with a newfound sense of confidence. He takes note of your eagerness to please despite your lack of experience. He continues to explore your body with tender care, palming your breasts softly. His fingertips drag down your thighs, “let me show you just how sorry I am”.

He sunk between your thighs, your sickly sweet perfume and the lustful scent of your sex mixed together, tormenting his senses. He couldn't help but bite back a groan when he reached your pretty pink panties, the sight of them made his cock throb. He lifted your hips up towards his face, his lips brushing against the lacey fabric. “You wear these just for me?”, he murmured against you. You released a shaky breath, catching your bottom lip between your teeth as you timidly nodded in reply. God, he couldn’t help the way his eyes rolled back at your shy admission. He kisses you through the fabric, his touch remaining gentle. His warm tongue dragged over the growing wet spot. You weakly prop yourself up on your elbows, just to catch his dark, longing gaze peering over between your legs. The sight alone made you shiver, which paired with the feeling of his hot breath on your skin made your brain short-circuit. He abandons your cunt, lapping at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, kissing and licking you all over. His fingers glided up against your panties, the heel of his palm grinding against your sensitive cunt. The friction made you whimper softly into the tension-thick air.

Your sweet sounds prompted him to pull the flimsy fabric down your legs. You’d never felt so exposed, that you couldn’t resist the urge to press your legs together in shame. “Don’t hide from me, pretty girl”, He whispered, running his large palms up your legs to meet at your knees. He slowly pulled them apart, admiring your glistening pussy. “So fucking perfect,” he muttered breathlessly. He didn’t waste much time burying himself between your thighs, littering tender kisses across your skin. Soft pecks turned into hot open-mouthed kisses, searching for the bead of your clit. He can feel it throbbing between his lips, like a faint heartbeat against his tongue. It's a feeling unlike anything you’d ever experienced, like lightning bolts firing out of every nerve in your body.

He rolls his tongue around the small bud, giving it special attention before kissing his way down to the pool of wetness at your entrance. Your pussy is practically crying for him. His tongue prods your tight hole as you squirm against him. You whimpered loudly, pressing back against his face. His elegant nose bumped against your clit with each motion and it was perfect, he was perfect. He wants to take it slow with you, push and pull you through all the great things about sex, but you make it so hard for him to control himself. You whine sharply, your clit now more needy than ever and he’s neglecting it- oh you poor thing. He can’t help but groan against you, you’re so fucking wet and needy for him- him, and only him.

He ends the agonizing torture, moving back to your clit as it begs for his undivided attention. He wants to make you climax so hard you see stars. The mere idea of seeing your face all twisted, eyes screwed shut, and jaw hanging slack- it was too inviting to resist. You're so sensitive it takes very little effort to wind you up quickly. He suckles your clit, until your thighs are shaking between his hands. You cry out, unable to suppress the desperate moans slipping past your lips. “Alex..”, you pant, your eyes half-lidded and spilling with desire. “I know, love”, he murmurs against your skin, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout your body. He can tell you're getting closer by the second. His hot tongue swirled rough circles against your clit, his knuckles turning white as he holds you against his lips. You feel the tight muscular tension in your abdomen snap suddenly. Your back arches off the mattress and your hands grasp the sheets for stability as you’re body is set aflame. He holds you in place, working you through your first orgasm. You were a writhing, wet mess beneath him, he couldn’t help but swell with pride. “You're doing so good for me, such a good girl”, he praised, planting a kiss on your inner thigh.

He pulled back slightly, admiring his work for a moment. Your pretty pussy was begging for him, but you weren’t ready for that yet. His nimble fingers lightly traced your slit, gathering your slick on his fingertips. His eyes flicked to yours, making sure you were okay before moving forward. Your eyes were droopy with desire, your lips wet and plump, and your hair a sexy mess against his pillow. “Please..”, you choked out, your voice still shaky as you came down from your high. He satisfied your whimpers as he worked his middle finger inside. The stretch stung slightly at first, the cool metal of his ring biting your tender flesh. “God- you’re soaking”, he groaned, adding a second finger with little resistance. His hands were made for you, they filled you so perfectly. His long, dexterous fingers knew just how to make you feel things you hadn’t known were possible. Your chest heaved as he thrusted and scissored deep into you, your gummy walls sucking him right back in each time. He almost wanted to watch you fall apart in his palms, but he would save that for another day. For now, he needed to be inside you more than anything.

Satisfied, he crawls on top of you, your noses brushing against each other as he meets your eye. “I’ll take care of you”, he reassures, his lips brushing against yours. Despite all he did to prep you, you couldn’t be prepared for his size. You felt as if you were coming to pieces as he split you apart on his cock. Tears begin to well up in the corners of your eyes as you try to accommodate him. “Are you alright?”, he asks softly, “If it hurts too much, just tell me, okay?”. He pulls out slightly before pushing back in, repeating the process until he bottoms out. He stalls for a moment, giving your body time to adjust to his size. You grasp his shoulders and nod reassuringly, signaling for him to keep going. He flashes an intoxicating smile and picks up his movements. He showers you with affection and praise. “You’re doing so fucking good, love”, he moans breathlessly, “You feel so good”. You run your nails down his forearms lightly, your mind utterly drowned in this newfound pleasure.

His movements grow more confident and assertive as he gets lost in the sensations of being buried inside you. You squirm beneath him, calling out his name in strained whimpers. He feels your grip on the sheets, seeing the intensity of your expression as you struggle to contain your pretty sounds. He increases his pace, driving himself deeper with each thrust, “Yes.. that's it.. ” he groans, urging you gently, “Don’t hold back- let me hear you.”. The newfound pace makes it impossible to keep quiet. Your eyes roll back as you find yourself moaning and babbling his name like a broken record. You find yourselves completely consumed by each other in a fiery display of desire.

He watches each reaction intently, taking in the effects of his actions on your body and mind. His own arousal intensifies as he witnesses your pleasure. He’s never felt that way with anyone before and he pushes himself harder than ever, determined to bring you to the peak of ecstasy. You feel your muscles tightening, a small knot of energy growing steadily in your belly. He can feel the tension as your body grows rigid. He bites his inner cheek, trying to keep his composure as your cunt tightens around him. With a final surge of energy, he drives himself into you until the crackling heat of his body is toppling over and he can no longer hold back his approaching orgasm. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, whispering your name. Your bodies tremble as you hold each other through your climaxes. You lay together in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow of the experience you’d just shared, feeling a connection that transcends words or boundaries.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you under the covers and pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Alex?”, you ask quietly. “Yes, Y/N?”, he replies, brushing a thin strand of hair from your eyes. “So,” you began, “What were all those roses really for?”. He chuckled softly, “For you, dear. A bundle for each year I missed-”, he planted a soft kiss on your lips, “-being right here by your side”.

This is so different from the usual so I hope it doesn't totally suck- I'm sorry babes. Thank you for the request tho- I enjoyed the challenge of switching things up!

Not edited, so I'm sorry if there are mistakes!!

Love ya! <3

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neowinestainedress · 1 year

Text

close as strangers | jeong jaehyun

title: close as strangers

pairing: jeong jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: childhood friends to strangers to friends, college!au, fluff, angst | requested

warnings: angst

summary: something breaks between you and Jaehyun when he starts dating the one who seems to be the love of his life. And you’re not sure you can cope with him slowly pushing you out of his life.

words: 7.446k

a/n: can't believe I finally wrote another one of the requests I got, the others will come out, I promise. I'm not sure it's exactly what the requester wanted (probably it's not sad enough, idk??) but I hope you'll like it anyway. Please let me know what you think with comments, reblogs or even asks!

“I’m not being annoying, I’m telling the truth,” you huff when Jaehyun pushes you away with a playful tug and calls you annoying for the nthtime.

“I’m not a loser, I have never been,” he replies, crossing his arms on his chest, and staring straight in front of him, trying to ignore you.

“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes, jumping on top of him and pulling his cheeks, moving his face side to side.

“Ouch, ouch,” he hisses, trying to pull away from your hold, but you only laugh and think that he looks so cute with his red cheeks, soft brown hair falling delicately on his forehead and beautiful eyes. “Stop it, fine, fine, I’m a loser.”

You cheer, happy about your victory but don’t move away from him. To strangers’ eyes it should be weird but for you two it’s only normal. You can’t even remember a moment when Jaehyun wasn’t by your side after you became best friends in kindergarten.

“I’m always right,” you quip, kissing his still red cheeks.

“She looked intimidating, I’m not like this anymore,” he defends himself again, and you find it entertaining. “You can’t call me a loser because my first crush was a failure. It’s been years.”

You shake your head, “I give it to you that she was too beautiful to even look at you,” you joke and at that he playfully hits your arm, only making you chuckle. “You were a loser in a cute kind of way. And you still act the same.”

Jaehyun huffs, shaking his head and gesturing for you to get off him. “See, you are annoying.”

You smile, silently following him into the kitchen, watching as he grabs a drink from the fridge and hands one to you. “So annoying I’m not even sure I can confess something to you.”

A furrow forms on your face, studying him with your tilted head. “Confess?”

“Yeah,” he says and when he meets your eyes his face blushes even more, “God, no, don’t think what you’re thinking, I don’t love you.”

“Oh, thank god,” you reply, but your heart doesn’t feel as light as your voice coming out of your lips. You hate it, or maybe you hate the way he says it, as if it would be so weird for him to love you. But you’re quick at shaking those thoughts out of your brain, at least for now. “So what is it?”

Jaehyun sighs, scratching his neck before nodding at the drink in your head, “You don’t want it?”

You gulp, you’d need it, but you’re not sure you’ll love whatever news he will drop and you’d like to avoid spitting it on his face. “No, sorry.”

He shrugs, grabbing it from your hand, and the light touch sends shivers down your skin.

“So, there’s this girl…”

There’s this girl…

Unfortunately, there’s this girl. Unfortunately, Jaehyun is head over heels for her.

He’s a loser, or maybe even more. So much that he gets annoying and you can’t stand him.

There should be nothing wrong with it, you should live this like any other of his crush, or relationships, but something inside of you is not letting it happen. You blame it on the fact he always talks about her, bringing her into every conversation even when she’s got nothing to do with it. You can’t see that you’re blinded by a feeling you never even imagined feeling.

Jaehyun is your best friend, nothing less, nothing more.

But apparently, your heart stopped seeing him this way a long time ago.

“I hate this class with a burning passion,” Jaehyun huffs, throwing away the pen he’s writing with as if he could throw away the headache that’s torturing him while he’s uselessly trying to memorize everything he needs for the exam.

You chuckle, lifting your eyes for a split second to look at him, grey hoodie over his hair and pissed-off expression staring at you as if you’re an alien for understanding everything so easily.

“I envy you so much, you’re so smart,” he complains again, drifting his gaze because the more he looks at you the madder he gets.

Your eyes roll back. “I’m not smart, lately all your blood is flowing in your pants, that’s why you can’t understand anything about uni lessons anymore.”

He glares at you. “Shut up, we didn’t even fuck.”

“Us?”

“Me and her,” he almost screams, staring at you with wide eyes. “Don’t make weird assumptions about us.”

You bite your lip, but not enough that you can stop yourself from asking a question you shouldn’t ask. “You wouldn’t?”

Jaehyun blinks repeatedly, staring at you with a furrow on his face. “Would, what?”

“Fuck with me.”

He scoffs, shaking his head, “Are you serious? Of course, I wouldn’t, we’re best friends.”

“Well, there are a lot of best friends that do it.” You know you’re shocking him with every word, you can see it in his wide-open eyes and mouth, but you can’t stop. It shouldn’t, but it is hurting your pride.

“Not us,” he replies as if it is obvious, it should be obvious, at least, and he doesn’t understand what had taken over you today. “Why would we?”

“I’m not saying we have to,” you whisper, tapping your shoes against the floor. “But you know, it can happen.”

Jaehyun laughs, “Sex never happens. It’s not some kind of fatality.”

“When you’re drunk?”

“Oh, yeah, depending on how drunk you are that falls into assault actually.”

You roll your eyes, “You know what I meant, just enough that you… you know what is happening but not enough to think about the consequences.”

“Yeah, that’s why we make sure to never cross that line when we drink, because we won’t let it happen.”

You hold back a bitter laugh, “You’re talking as if I’m the ugliest person you have ever seen.”

“I didn’t say that, you’re beautiful, you know I think that. I even think you can be hot when you want to,” he laughs, surely referring to your personal struggles of stepping out of certain comfort zones but you don’t find it funny. “Come on, you know I’m saying I won’t because we’re best friends, I’ve known you since you eat stick glue and the teachers wouldn’t let you close to them.”

You ignore his recall of that fun memory and go straight to the point, brain completely fogged by your hurt pride, rationality gone. “What if we weren’t?”

“But we are.”

“What if we weren’t?”

Jaehyun chuckles, at this point his laugh is awkward, and he hates he can’t seem to find any sign of a joke in your eyes. “Yes…” he answers hesitantly, and you don’t know if he means it or if it’s because he wants to make you happy and fool.

But you don’t press him anymore, after all, it doesn’t matter, you are best friends, and you can’t turn back time and change the events that lead you there right now, so you bring your attention back to the books.

“I can help you with what you don’t understand, I’m here for that,” you say.

“Are you mad? I genuinely think you’re beautiful, you know it. I just don’t want to lose you with sex.”

“I know, I agree, it got nothing to do with you, actually. Sorry, a bit of paranoia for a dick absence of six months,” you lie, blaming it on your lack of activity in bed would’ve dusted off that awkward moment you were going to reply in your brain for months probably. And Jaehyun believes it, an expression full of pity forming on his face and the same usual ‘your value doesn’t come from men wanting you,’ and you know, it might not come from men but from him? It does.

But it’s fine like this, at least with that lie you’re sure you didn’t scare him off, and when you propose to stay for dinner he doesn’t run away but helps you with that. It’s just you and him, like it had always been, only with a fire inside of you that you never wanted to light up, and you know it will burn you.

“You need to fix this room,” Jaehyun jokes, his breath puffing against your hair while you’re lying in your bed.

“Leave me alone, I’ve been sad lately,” you pout, rolling your body and hiding your face in the crook of his neck, his scent filling your senses.

“I can help you if you want,” he replies, caressing your back in circles.

“With my sadness?” You lift your neck to stare at him, finding him looking at you.

“With your room,” he shrugs.

You let out a whine, groaning while you pull away from his hold against your will. You like being there, embraced in his warmth. Jaehyun feels familiar, he always had, even before he actually was. And now you need to lull yourself into that feeling more than ever. But as you look around and see the state of your bedroom you realize he’s not wrong.

“You know how you could help?” You say, jumping around and facing him.

Jaehyun smiles, sitting up straight and leaning in. He’s so close to you that you can only see his eyes while all the rest fades away. “With a kiss?”

Your heart starts throbbing and you’re sure the temperature of your skin is rising, but you try to hide the dumb smile that’s forming on your face. You don’t answer, only melt on the spot when his lips meet your skin, pressing against your cheek with a loud sound.

“Fixed,” he giggles, caressing your cheek, ear and hair in a move he had always done since you were kids, the only difference was that now his hand cupped half of your face with ease. “Better?”

You hum, smiling but feeling another sting in your chest. You hopeful, hopeful girl wishing he would’ve kissed your lips instead.

“I wanted to propose to go buy groceries, by the way,” you chuckle, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your hands.

Jaehyun laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, your weird second sadness fixing.”

“Hey!” You yell, faking an offended grin on your face and he only pulls out his tongue before jumping in front of the closet and opening the doors. You don’t have time to tell him to stop that he’s crushed by a mass of clothes, and you’d like to be mad about it but when he sits on the floor with clothes all over him and glares at you, you can only laugh.

“It’s funny? I could’ve been killed and you’re laughing,” he jokes, scrolling the clothes off him and reaching you, starting to tickle you. “God, I’m a loser but you are so messy.”

“Stop, you will kill me,” you cry when his fingers are still torturing you, and only when you kiss his cheek he stops. “I’m sorry, I tried to warn you but you were too fast.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, letting out a sigh before a nervous laugh rolls out of his lips when he sees the mess in the room. “Now we will have to fix this, you know?”

You hum, hugging him, resting your chin on his shoulder. “It won’t take long if we’re two.”

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?”

“You decided to open my closet, and for what?”

“I wanted to pick your clothes,” he whines, grabbing a handful of clothes and placing them on the bed to fold them. “Remember we used to do it?”

You laugh, doing the same and facing him on the other side. “When we had to go somewhere together and we wanted to have the same vibes, not to go buy some bread.”

“When aren’t we together?” He asks, staring at you with a superior grin.

“Fine, you’re right,” you give up, not able to hide the smile on your face. “But it wasn’t a sabotaging program from me.”

After half an hour the clothes are back at their place, this time folded and placed so they won’t fall on whoever dares to open the doors. And Jaehyun is waiting for you to change into the clothes he picked.

“All black because I have to match you?” You ask, looking at what he chose.

“Of course,” he shrugs, sitting on the bed, waiting for you to change into the new clothes. “Where are you going?” He asks when you start making your way to the door.

“Bathroom? I have to change?”

He chuckles before a furrow forms on his face when you stare at him with a serious expression, “We never changed in another room.”

“Yeah, but you’re dating now, or sort of.”

“Sort of,” he says, shaking his head to move back the hair that covers his eyes. “Come on, we always did that, even when one of us was dating.”

You hum, walking back toward the bed, placing the clothes on the soft duvet to get rid of the ones you’re already wearing. Jaehyun is right, you’ve always done it. Things like this, so intimate, so private, always happened between you two without a glint of embarrassment. But now it’s different. Now that your fingers slowly grip the hem of your sweater to pull it over your head, you feel as if he’s eyes are burning into your skin. You know he’s not looking at you in a different way, but you wish he did. You wish he would stand up and stand close to you, letting the sweater fall at your feet, while his broad body presses against you, slowly trapping you between him and the wall before he kisses you as if he waited all his life for that moment.

But it doesn’t happen. He never waited for that moment to happen, you did, probably, without realizing, thinking that this, the beautiful relationship you had, was going to turn into something different. But when you’re out of the sweater, it doesn’t fall at your feet, and your back is not pressing against the wall, and the humiliation of the thought that crossed your mind makes you dress once again quickly.

“Should we get something for dinner,” he proposes when you’re almost done with the shopping, cart half-full.

“Are you staying?”

“You don’t want me anymore?” He pretends to be offended, staring at you with wide eyes and a hand on his chest.

You roll your eyes, “Okay drama queen, let’s choose something and then let’s go, you need to help me with all these things.”

“See, you only use me for my muscles,” he pouts, pushing the cart, and purposefully hitting you with a swing of the hip.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any other strong man like you in my life,” you mimic in a silly voice, fanning yourself and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Though I was a loser,” he grins, looking down at you.

“Oh, you are.”

The evening proceeds as usual for you two, he helps you put things back in place, you spend a good ten minutes bickering over what you should choose to eat for dinner (as if the fight at the shop wasn’t enough), and then you settle down on the couch to eat while watching one of your favorite series, one of the few things you don’t even take a second to decide. Your head rests against his shoulder when you’re not eating or commenting on something, and his arms stay wrapped around your shoulder for the whole time.

It feels like home.

Jaehyun knows exactly where to throw the things you used, he even washes the dishes while you go wash up and then you switch places, drying them while he does what you just did. He even knows where you keep the blankets so you could lay back on the couch comfortably.

And that’s how you fall asleep, with Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around your waist and his chin resting on your head, squeezing into the small couch because sleep took over you before you could even think of dragging your tired legs to your bedroom. Netflix is still running, playing more episodes before it goes on standby and the night is quiet outside while you lull into each other.

It feels like home.

The bubble that you and Jaehyun lived in is menacing to burst. You don’t want to be a hater, but every time he talks about her you feel your insides turn upside down.

You think that meeting her will soothe you down a little, that maybe you can find something in her that it’s not as amazing as Jaehyun says to be, something he hates but he didn’t see, too focused in the rush of the moment.

But when you meet her, your last hope falls apart.

Of course, Jaehyun is head over heels for her.

Not only she is objectively beautiful, funny and smart, but she’s everything he ever wanted.

You know his type, thanks to all the nights up spent talking about love and the other kids in your classes, from the silly, meaningless flings in elementary school, until now. His type never changed a lot, and now that you look back at it, and stare at her in silence, you realize you never fit in the box.

Yes, you’re beautiful, funny, and smart, but not in the same way she is, not in the way Jaehyun wants.

If you had to place her and yourself on a line, you would be on the far opposite ends.

“So, how did you meet?” You ask, even if you already know it, but you need to fill the silence while Jaehyun left you two alone to get in line to grab the food, and somehow you don’t want to know more about her.

She smiles at you, teeth so perfect that you wonder how they aren’t fake and then says, “It was a coincidence, you know those cliché types of meeting in movies?” You nod, playing with the napkin at your side. “We run into each other while we were both running late for the bus, we never caught it but we met each other. Destiny is great sometimes.”

You nod, mumbling ‘sure,’ forcing yourself to be happier about it. Because if he’s happy, you’re happy and vice versa, that’s how it always worked in your friendship. But right now you can’t be happy about anything, you can’t do anything but feel a lump in your throat when Jaehyun comes back and leaves a small peck on her forehead while placing the food in front of her but doesn’t do the same with you. He would’ve had. He used to be so physical with you and now you feel like you can’t even remember what a hug feels like.

But you swallow the gulp in your throat and try to make conversation, trying not to hate her because she doesn’t deserve it. Because now you know that even if you went back in time and changed things, Jaehyun wouldn’t have looked at you anyway. He probably wouldn’t have even looked at you like a friend, so this was the best you could get.

This was a dream. The same dream that was before, only with a stinging pain in your chest.

Somewhere along the line, it turns into a nightmare. It’s not when you realize that this is meant to be, that they are not a temporary story bound to break but something meant to last. After six months Jaehyun still looks at her with the same heart-shaped eyes, ears almost perking up like a dog when her name is spoken, and cheeks turning cheesily red every time she looks at him.

And you can only shake your head thinking that he is a loser, and the reason you hate it so much it’s because Jaehyun is not a loser for you.

You are for him. You are a clown, probably, and it’s even worst.

“Where were we when it happened?” You barely register Jaehyun talking to you, too lost in your thoughts, shaking your head to stare at him while your brain works fast to remember what he was talking about.

“Oh, it was the cabin we went to for my eighteenth birthday,” you say, forcing a smile to curl your lips.

“Yeah, right, that place was magical, we should go someday.”

“Oh, yes, that would be great,” you reply, thinking he’s talking to you but when he giggles your smile drops.

“No, honey, me and her,” he says, finger moving back and forth between himself and his girlfriend. “Remember that there was some sort of couples discounts or tours, there was a spa, right?”

You gulp, but push down the burning sensation in your throat it’s hard. “I guess, I don’t remember,” your voice comes out more stern than you want but Jaehyun doesn’t notice, he doesn’t care.

“Maybe I’ll text your mom, she’ll definitely know,” he says before turning to her again.

And you sit there, in silence, fighting back the tears because selfishly you don’t want your memories of your eighteenth birthday to be fogged by their new ones. That was your place, one of the many, and the idea of him going there kills you.

It’s dramatic, it’s stupid, but it’s exactly how you feel.

“I booked two seats at our favorite movie theatre, and you won’t believe it, but the movie we wanted to see it’s in our favorite room and I also got our favorite seats, the magic of the internet,” you cheer happily over the phone, your pc still open on the cinema page with the confirmation of the payment.

“Oh,” you hear Jaehyun from the other side. “For this Friday?”

You hum, still smiling thinking that you finally got to see the sequel you both waited for so long.

“I don’t think I can.”

You furrow. “What do you mean? Friday it’s our cinema night out, we always go there when there are new movies we like. We’ve been waiting for this for years.”

“Yeah, I know but it slipped my mind,” he says. “I have to meet her parents.”

Your jaw falls on the floor. It feels surreal, at this point you’re not even mad because he forgot but he’s going to meet her parents? After eight months?

“You hate meeting parents,” you chuckle, the words coming out of your mouth in a way that’s screaming you can’t believe them.

“Not hers.”

“What do you mean? The only parents you don’t hate are mine.”

“Maybe not anymore,” he sighs, and you can picture him rubbing his chin from the other side of the line. “Listen, she cares about this a lot.”

“I care about it too.”

“A movie over a dinner with my girlfriend’s parents? Please be serious.”

You hate how mocking his voice is, you hate that to him your plans are nothing.

“But I told you this Monday I was going to book them, why couldn’t you postpone it with her?”

“Because her mother proposed, I couldn’t say I couldn’t go because I had to watch a stupid movie.”

You hum, squeezing your eyes shut to push back tears, hoping he couldn’t hear your sniffle.

“Yeah, sure, have fun.” You have to close the call, his words and voice hurting you like thousands of needles against your skin.

You stare blankly at the screen, the map of the theatre still open with the colored seats you had selected and the transaction approved. A small crack forms in your heart when you realise that the night you had planned together wasn’t going to happen.

You get up, closing the laptop, you would’ve checked later if you could’ve got a refund, but now you just wanted to stare at your ceiling and let yourself go to silent tears.

It was just a stupid movie.

If only after a while a lot of things didn’t start to be stupid.

Lunches out at your favorite place during lesson breaks.

Nights up playing video games at your place or watching movies at his.

Even studying together for the exams, or your usual study hangouts to keep up with the lessons, became stupid.

Jaehyun being in love wasn’t painful anymore, but Jaehyun cutting you out of his life was killing you.

If he sat next to you during lessons it felt like a miracle and even then he would talk to you just a little. And you couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t the first time he was in love, and for how serious their story could be, was it necessary to cut you out like that?

You shared every moment together. And you can’t accept this ending like this.

“It’s been a lot since we last have been together,” you say, for a mere coincidence you two are walking together out of the last lesson of the day and he still hasn’t pulled away to go somewhere else, barely even warning you.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” Jaehyun replies, head low on his white converse on the ground.

You’ve been ignoring me, you’d like to answer but don’t. Not really in the mood to ruin this moment, it feels normal, like all the days you used to share going everywhere together. There weren’t silly jokes, and your arms weren’t intertwined, but it was better than nothing.

“Why don’t you come to mine this weekend? We don’t have a lot of essays, we could just order take out and spend some time together, like the old times.”

“Yeah, why not,” Jaehyun replies, turning his head to look at you with a smile.

Yeah, the old times.

The ones that are long gone now that you’re sitting on the floor, pillows all around you, your blanket covering your bodies, empty food boxes at your feet and the tv playing a movie not you nor him are paying attention to.

You’re too focused on him and he’s too focused on his phone.

You can see from the smile on his face that he’s texting her, he had been since all night actually. You could barely make a conversation while you were eating, either receiving no answer or syllables as one.

The old times are long gone, and you’re not sure you can live like this.

The decision came to you one night, after hours of crying all your tears while going through your old chats with Jaehyun and scrolling through the pictures you’ve taken together.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

If he had decided to cut you out of his life, you were going to do the same with him.

But saying it was easier than doing it, and now that you found yourself under the tree you used to wait for him when you had different lessons, you don’t feel so confident about this anymore.

This is worst than confessing, it’s more humiliating because if you did that, he would simply reply that he doesn’t like you back, but saying you need to cut strings with him means that he won’t fight for you. You already know it, it had been written in the last months when he started to slip away from your hold more and more, at first without you even noticing, and now you were there.

“Hey,” he calls your name, and it feels weird on his tongue now, it’s not playfully, it’s not teasing, it’s not full of love, it’s cold and distant, and you hate that his happiness with another person took you there. You can’t blame yourself, because even though the pain, you always supported them, you couldn’t make him pay for not proving something for you, so why was he making you pay for feeling something for somebody else?

“Hey,” you smile back before taking a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to break off the longest-running friendship of your life. But no amount of nights up and preparatory speeches prepared you for this. It’s a crash of words and screams. Jaehyun doesn’t get why you would break your friendship for some ‘no’ and you telling him it wasn’t just that.

“Than what it is? I don’t get it, are you jealous I’m happy?”

“God, no, why would I even be jealous,” you reply with a bitter offended chuckle. Yes, you are jealous, but jealousy is not the thing that is making you do this, you could live with that, you could live watching his eyes light up when he stares at somebody else, you could live hearing her name roll out of his lips so sweetly, you could even live with them being always together, reminding you every second how happy they were. What you can’t live with is the pain his detachment brings along. You can’t do it anymore because now that your head lifts up and you look at him, you can’t recognize the person you grew up with anymore.

“Then can you tell me what’s wrong?” He insists, huffing loudly.

You bite your tongue, you can’t confess, you can’t tell him you love him, you can’t. It’s a secret you want to bring to your tomb, but you slip.

“You do what?”

Your eyes widen when you realize what you said, hands covering your mouth as if you could take it back. And you find yourself thinking that having the power of turning back time would be a great thing. You would’ve used it so much, but you don’t have it, and you’re forced to pay the price for all the stupid mistakes you’re making.

“Nothing.”

“You love me?” He asks before a groan of your name comes out of his mouth to demand an answer you don’t want to give him.

“No, I love you as a friend, and I… I hate that you’re cutting me off,” you lie, lips shaking, eyes full of tears falling freely down your cheeks. It’s pathetic, you can’t even remember the last time you cried in front of him, but it surely wasn’t as humiliating as this. There was no reassurance in his eyes this time, no strong arms to wrap around you and hold you tight while he whispered that everything would’ve been alright, but there was no use for a lie, nothing was going to be alright. It was just an already written mess.

“Don’t lie to me,” he hisses through gritted teeth, and you lower your head, sobbing silently.

“It doesn’t matter,” you scream to the ground, to yourself. No, it doesn’t matter, what you feel doesn’t matter, you don’t matter. To him, you don’t matter, not like you used to for sure.

“It does, that’s why you wanted to know if I would have sex with you?”

You rub your face and shake your head. “No, I… I don’t care, I don’t even want you to love me back. I need us to be done.”

“Because I said no? Because I hang out with my girlfriend? You are jealous, of course, you care.”

“I’m not jealous, I wish I at least still had the same place in your heart, I was your best friend, you loved spending time with me, we were close, we were happy and now, you avoid me. You don’t even sit next to me in class.”

Jaehyun sighs, shaking his head before turning around and walking in a circle. You wish you could read him like you used to do, but you can’t understand if he’s mad or sad, maybe both.

“How you loving me doesn’t come between us?” He asks when it seems he made up his mind.

“It doesn’t, it’s… it’s not even love. I need time alone, Jaehyun,” you sigh, his full name rolling out of your lips hurts. “I’m happy for you, I truly am, but you’re so distant and you’ve never been like this and I can’t take it.”

Another loud sigh comes out of Jaehyun’s lips, the more he stares at you the less he could understand, but he couldn’t blame you for feeling what you felt, you surely didn’t do it on purpose and you hated what you felt more than him probably, considering you were suffering so much to the point of breaking what held you together for so long.

“So what do we do? Ignore each other?”

You sniffle. “You are already ignoring me.”

“I – I’m sorry, maybe I did but I didn’t notice,” he justifies with a slightly offended tone. “I’ve never been better than now, and I don’t want this to change.”

“And that’s fine,” you reply, holding your bag closer to you, “It’s fine but I need you out of my life because like this, with you being half in and half out, I can’t go on. I can’t move, and I… I just hate being this away from you. But it’s fine, as long as you’re happy, I’ll be fine.”

You thought that was going to be liberating but it turned out not to be. Not when Jaehyun was the only one you knew. Sure, you talked around on campus here and there, but the only one you could count on was him. Too afraid to meet people and too tired to open up with them.

Jaehyun already knew everything, in fact, no one else knew you how much Jaehyun did.

And not having him anymore was the worst feeling ever.

It was hard not picking up the phone to tell him something in the heat of the moment, but all your last sent texts with no answer or ‘I’ll watch it later,’ were the awakening you needed to put the phone down and feel your heart sink to your knees. You couldn’t have texted him anyway but the reminder of the last cold months was enough to make you believe it was the right choice.

You had survived a lot of things, with him by your side, you could survive even this, without him.

So you try to concentrate on your studies, hoping all the words will drown you in a sea that is not as acid as the one that your brain drags you into when Jaehyun crosses your mind. And it works, only until you decided that you can’t lose your sanity over books and essays and maybe you should find a better way to cope with this.

It’s not easy, every step you move on your own reminds you of how present Jaehyun has always been in your life. From the silliest things such as studying or buying something you needed, to the biggest and most important steps of your life.

It’s heart-wrenching, really, to imagine your future without him. The graduation you planned won’t be the same, the holiday you longed for so much after that won’t probably even exist, and there won’t be nights up spent together trying to navigate the job world. And when your mind wonders further you realize there will be no wedding day, even when you would’ve found the right person for you, the one that can truly take that place in your heart and push Jaehyun out of there, he won’t be there, by your side, being your man of honor. And you won’t be at his, and now it sounds better like this, but with time, knowing you would’ve moved on from him, it only brings a lingering pain in your chest.

You miss him.

You miss yourself with him.

Because even after a few weeks when you decided to go out, sign in some college clubs to make new friends, and you do, you find a group of people you like, you still can’t be your true self like you were with him. They wouldn’t get you, there are high possibilities they might even find you weird, with your random singing and dancing, and your silly faces to make him laugh, or the started conversation in the middle of another one even if they weren’t related at all. There are so many more sides of you they would never understand. And you can only be yourself in the four walls of your room, but even there, you feel like you’re hard to find.

Time passes by and you feel like you’re doing better. You finally found your place in the world without him, taking time to focus on your passions, your studies, and new people that are slowly making you feel understood.

You barely see Jaehyun anymore, let alone interact with him. When you cross in the corridors or in class you ignore him just as much as he ignores you. Well, at least you try to, because you feel that if you stare for too long you will fall in the same hole you got yourself out of with difficulty.

And you succeed until the holiday approach and you feel just a bit lonelier, you can’t help but think back at the times you spent together, afternoons spent walking around town to see the decorated shops and city’s lights, or drinking hot chocolate together while you studied the last things before the winter break, or how his mother would video call as a coincidence all the time when he was in the bathroom and you two would end up talking more than them.

But you learned how to sigh and shrug those thoughts away, coming to terms with the fact that you will always miss the feeling of home he meant for you.

But it still hurts, not like before, but it’s still there, when your eyes linger on him and his arm wrapped around her in some classes you share, or when you barge into them outside, his head laying against hers, or her eyes looking up at him while her nose scrunches and he kisses that playful pout away.

It’s an annoying type of pain, it’s not even love anymore, or at least you try to convince yourself, it’s like when you feel the need to scratch a part of your body you just can’t scratch, that’s what Jaehyun is, a part you will have to carry with you forever, even if he’s not part of your life anymore, because he will always be a part of you.

But you’re doing fine.

You truly are.

It simply gets heavy at times to carry that dead weight around, but you are light. There’s a bright future waiting for you, and you’re hopeful you won’t be alone with your new friends supporting you and distracting you when sometimes your brain decides to sabotage you.

But you’re still moving on with your life, small steps taking you further on the road every day. Well, that’s it until one morning you open the door to find Jaehyun standing there with his same old brown jacket, ruined shoes and the same, somehow still familiar, face.

“What are you doing here?” Is the only thing your brain manages to formulate, it’s not a harsh question, there’s not even hesitation in your voice, you’re just genuinely surprised.

“Can we talk?” He asks, moving his weight side to side on his feet.

So a few minutes later you are sitting on the couch, a cup of coffee in front of you and silence fills the room with a weird atmosphere. You don’t think it’s awkward, but it’s not even as comfortable as the silence between you two used to be. Anyway, you can’t keep this going for much longer, you’re not used to having him so close, you can still faintly make out his scent that now is surely mixed with hers, and that brings back too many memories you’re not sure you want to revive right there.

“So? Do you need something? Or maybe something happened?”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer right away, he sighs, nervously tapping his feet on the floor and playing with his thumbs before he turns around to look at you.

“I know why you wanted us to stop being friends, and I respect that. I didn’t react in the best way but I was surprised and mad, I won’t lie, I know I pushed you away but back then I still had you, and when you decided to cut me off I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I had to do it,” you say, crossing your legs and studying his expression, he’s barely making eye contact with you, gaze moving around to room to find words he probably doesn’t even know.

“I know,” he hums, lowering his head. “But I miss you. And I… I’d like to at least be friends again but I also respect if you don’t want to, maybe you still love m –”

“No,” you stop him, “I don’t… I liked you, at least I think so.”

“Is there really a difference?”

“Yeah, the latter should be less painful.”

“Was it?”

You raise your gaze, locking eyes with him, and when you still feel a striking pain in your heart, you deny it with a movement of your head. “But I don’t love you anymore,” you still add. It’s true. You miss him, but that’s a different feeling.

“So… can we be friends again? I promise I’ll make up time with you. I was so caught up in her that I just… I didn’t notice you were slipping out of my mind.”

You hum, shaking your head and scratching your neck. “It’s fine, it was in the past.”

“Yeah, but I hurt you.”

“I’m fine, Jae. It doesn’t matter.” Or it does, but is there something you can do to fix it? You can’t turn back around.

He nods, drifting his gaze away again and you know he’s waiting for an answer you’re not sure you can give him. Not right on the spot. It’s true that you want him back, but you’re not sure taking him back won’t break you down again.

“I need to think about it,” you whisper after a few minutes, watching his eyes drop, that wasn’t the answer he wanted, but you have to put yourself first. If there was something that this taught you was that lesson. After all, you were always going to have yourself and not anybody else.

“My mother says hi,” you say while pushing your phone back into your pocket and start to walk back to Jaehyun’s side.

“Oh, it’s been a while since I last heard from her,” he replies, a small smile curls his lips as he keeps moving next to you to reach the closest cafe.

Yes, after a week or more of asking yourself the same question you were able to make a decision and take him back. You had set some rules, telling him that you needed time, and maybe sometimes you would’ve needed time to yourself, but Jaehyun understood, after all, you two were always the same, even if you changed, even if you drifted apart, he was still the only one that knew you so deeply and vice versa.

So, it started slowly, allowing each other to text, not as often as you used to do, not with the same tone or conversations of your old texts, but it was something. After a while, he started sitting close to you during some lessons, not always, and not only because he wanted to be with her, but also because you didn’t want to have him that close again. You still needed time, and even if you got back together you could feel it wasn’t the same as before. You don’t talk about the future anymore, and the few times some doubts spill out you two are never in each other’s plans. You don’t rest your head on his shoulder anymore, not that one night you decided to watch a movie together, not the few times you sit next to each other in class. You don’t poke his cheeks, burying your finger in his dimple. You don’t change in front of each other anymore. You don’t go grocery shopping together. You don’t spend nights up rewatching your favorite series.

And you are terrified that with time you wouldn’t have recognized not even a small piece of him. But you let that in the future, deciding to focus on the present, and on yourself.

You are fine, you found yourself again, and you had Jaehyun in your life.

Nothing is as before, you used to be home to each other, different sides of the same coin, partners in life, and now, you’re just standing there, side by side, an invisible line separating you.

In strangers’ eyes you two look just fine, like any other friends would appear, but to you, in your heart, you’re as close as strangers.

I hope you liked it, if you did please leave feedback is always appreciated! ♡

#nct fanfiction #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #jeong jaehyun angst #jeong jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct angst #nct fluff #requests

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poppadom0912 · 5 months

Note

Hii! 🙋🏻‍♀️

I saw that you are accepting requests, can I request an imagine with Jay Halstead where he and the reader (a surgeon) don't get along very well and, as fate would have it, they both live in the same building. One night the reader discovers that there is a camera hidden in the lampshade that she got from a strange guy, so the guy threatens her and Jay protects her. 😅❤️

Sorry for my English.

Warnings: Stalking/pedo men, brief hospitals, small injuries, and swearing.

A/N: Now that my series is done, I can finally get to completing and putting out all these requests. I wrote this in school. And do not apologise for your English, it was perfect.

Life is stressful right now so I lowkey got carried away writing this because it's somehow nearly 3k words but please do enjoy this!!

You weren’t too sure when it all actually started but it was too late to reverse time now.

Growing up, there was no way to avoid the Halstead brothers because all the way throughout your childhood up until the age of eighteen, you all went to school together and outside, your mothers were near inseparable. You could never catch a break.

What made matters even more confusing was that you didn’t mind Will, on fact, the two of you were quite good friends. You tolerated Will and with both your combined loves for medicine, an inevitable friendship bloomed but even with this, you and Jay just could not get along.

The only time you ever found solace was when the two of you finally parted ways after high school. You remained in Chicago to become a doctor and later surgeon while Jay, he spontaneously decided to enrol to become an army ranger. Your shock could not be hidden.

With both brothers out your life, days were so much more simple. From time to time, you wouldn’t say it aloud but you missed Wil’s company but Jay, his absence almost made it as though he never existed in the first place. And yes, maybe that was a bit cruel but the genuine hatred you had at the mere thought of him or the sight of his face, it made you want to hurl.

And the rest was history. Even with the more recent parts being a bit more pleasant yet depressive, your pure hatred for him didn’t seem to wane.

*****

Fast forward a few years and this is how it all is: your father remained ever so absent, both mothers passed away several years ago, Pat died last year, you and Will worked together and you and Jay weren’t exactly civil.

Living in the same building, on the exact same floor and literal doors apart could only do so much damage.

Today had been a very, very long day. You had just been on shift for a double that had run over because of the complicated surgery that almost went sideways last minute. You were practically dead on your feet. You loved trauma surgery as much as the next trauma surgeon but you could go without blood and scalpels for the next few hours because sleep was calling your name like a siren song.

Upon Connor’s insistence, he drove you home because he expressed his fear of you sleeping on the train and never getting off.

Finally in your apartment building, you dragged your feet to your door, your keys almost missing the hole due to your sudden misalignment. Your mind was nearing haziness but with one final push, you were inside and collapsed on your bed.

Sleep was instant. It was expected but you also weren’t surprised when you knocked out and woke up randomly at two in the morning. You felt semi-rejuvenated but you could definitely sleep for longer.

Drowsily, you stripped out of your clothes, chucking them towards the basket before walking into the bathroom. Doing what you needed to do, you returned and searched for comfortable pyjamas that were good enough for this heat.

Standing half naked in your own bedroom in the apartment that you rented alone was a completely normal thing to do. Never in your life did you need to be paranoid or extra careful. You were in the comfort of your own home, so why was there the need to be riddled with anxiety.

Well, apparently you should’ve because as you pulled you cotton shorts on, rummaging through your draw for an oversized shirt, you caught a miniscule red dot. You were so tired you contemplated if it was a hallucination but a few minutes later, remaining in the same position, the nano dot was still there.

Diverting your attention to the suspicious dot, you threw on a random shirt but somehow, during the milliseconds your head spent under the shirt before it reappeared, the red dot disappeared.

Now you were on edge. Sleep didn’t come as easy this time.

In the morning, everything looked the same. Going around, you tried to look for anything that could’ve been tampered with but alas, everything was in tip top condition. Maybe you really were so out of that that you were delusional, it all really could’ve been a hallucination.

You had a few more hours before you needed to go back to work and considering the state of your empty fridge, grocery shopping seemed like a promising idea.

Your sweetening mood however quickly turned sour at the familiar sight of a certain detective standing down the hallway, walking in the same direction as you towards the buildings only elevator.

Sighing in disappointment, you readjusted the tote bag on your shoulders and walked ahead anyway. There was no way you were letting this man ruin your mood.

Being stuck in the elevator though, it did ruin your mood a little.

For once in your entire life though, Jay didn’t rile you up. He didn’t say anything nor did he even attempt to roll his eyes when he saw you. It was weird, he barely even acknowledged you.

And you hated to admit it, but you didn’t like it. As much as you despised the man, Jay acting as if you were a ghost was something that irked you. But obviously, you were never going to tell him that, it’d only boost his already enormous ego.

*****

“You look like a rat.”

“Ha ha, you’re so funny.”

You took it all back. Everything you said two days ago, you were taking it all back. Jay could rot and burn in hell and you still wouldn’t care.

Over the course of twelve hours, something must’ve changed because Jay’s renewed vigour was back and it was here to stay. You didn’t relish his silence long enough because the second he opened his mouth, your headache returned.

Next time, you were dragging Will and forcing him to escort you up to your apartment door because at least then he’d save you, he’d make this all much more bearable.

The sudden change in weather suited your mood, the rain mimicking your emotions that Jay was only half responsible for. The other half was a result of your newly achieved paranoia and anxiety that made itself known whenever you came home.

No matter where you searched or how many hours you slept, the red dot came and then disappeared again. It was annoying and it came to the point that you tried avoiding you bedroom especially as much as possible. To not be comfortable and safe in your own home wasn’t right.

Rolling your eyes, you fished your keys out of your bag and ignored whatever Jay was saying. You’d known him for so long that blocking out his voice had become second nature, it was something you did subconsciously.

You wished his apartment was before yours, that way at least you could have some peace but life worked in funny ways.

Stopping in front of your door, you were just about to unlock it when your body froze.

“What’s wrong?”

The sudden change in your mood caught him off guard, your frozen body worrying him slightly. He might’ve shared your feelings of hostility but you were his older brothers best friend, which had to count for something.

Following your line of sight, Jay’s eyes hardened at the unlocked door, a slither of light leaking out from inside as the door sat ajar. You definitely locked it this morning, there was no doubt about it.

Maybe you had the right to be paranoid. Perhaps you should’ve acted on it sooner.

Not wasting another second, Jay pushed you behind him and drew his gun. With his shoe, he gently nudged the door open and began surveying the apartment bit by bit with practised precision.

You hadn’t seen the man in action for a while now, it was weird to see him so proper and serious.

With nothing out of place and all valuable belongings safe and sound, Jay deduced that for now, things should be fine but if need be, if anything was out of the ordinary, he was the first person you called.

And for the first time ever in over thirty years, you made Jay a promise.

*****

You kept to your promise. This was a matter you weren’t going to mess around with, even if it was with Jay.

You had just come out of the shower, hair dripping wet, shorts and an oversized shirt on because despite the rain it was still humid and the summer heat wasn’t going away anytime soon.

Stepping into the dark room, you started patting your hair dry with a towel and walked towards the lamp so there was at least some lighting. A dimly lit room made you feel less paranoid.

It was upon turning the lamp on though did your anxiety peak. This new height it reached making it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden.

Without even thinking of the consequences, Jay’s number was the first thing you found on your phone, his contact name pressed within seconds of your discovery.

Heart pounding out of your chest, you forced yourself to move at the sound of the door. This fear was almost paralysing, you didn’t even know what to make of all of it.

“What happened?” Jay’s concern was immediate. All you did was call him and he came over without question. Your call alone told him enough.

You stared at him wide eyed, words lodged at the back of your throat but they wouldn’t go any further than that. Remaining wordless, you simply grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards your room and he followed obediently.

Your bedroom was now back to pitch black; you turned the lamp off straight away because the pyjamas you wore left little for imagination. That trail of thought made you want to be sick.

Jay stood beside you; your hand still wrapped around his wrist tightly while your other still held the wet hair towel that you probably should put away. He surveyed the dark room, taking it all in and trying to poke out anything out of the ordinary.

It was only when you tugged on his wrist, his head turning down to you before following your line of sight and pointed finger towards your innocent looking lamp that idly sat on your bedside table.

But it turned out to be not so innocent after all. Jay immediately saw the red dot no matter its small size, he saw it straight away and alarm bells went off.

Gently prying your fingers off his wrist, Jay holstered his gun and strode towards the lamp, tilting the lamp shade as he fiddled with something underneath. It didn’t take long before he stood up to his full height with a small black square in his palm.

This all-escalated way too fast for your liking.

*****

Jay refused to let you see anything from what he told you was a camera; he wouldn’t let you see it even for a price but he did briefly talk about what he saw in very little detail. What he told you was more than enough to make you want to bleach your body in a bath and move out of state to a place no one would know you.

Jay also wasn’t one hundred percent confident in letting you return back to your apartment alone. That’s how you found yourself wrapped in a blanket sitting cross-legged on his sofa, hiding yourself and your body from the world. Even with your shirt and shorts on, you felt liked dying at the thought of a man staring you down with intentions all but pure.

Gosh, you wanted to be sick.

Slowly sipping some water from a cup Jay silently handed you, you tried relaxing, rotating your shoulders to try release any of the tension but you failed. Fidgeting with anything was the only way you were able to not focus on the conversation Jay was having on the phone in the next room over. He was probably most likely talking to someone else from Intelligence.

The rest of the night, well more very early morning really, Jay explained the plan about how Intelligence were going to go about this but it would all happen in the morning at an actual suitable time.

With much bickering, Jay forced you into his bed as he took the sofa. It was weird that this was the most civil and even most nicest interaction the two of you ever had in either of your lifetimes. You wouldn’t tell him this unless under a life-or-death situation, but you kind’ve liked it. When Jay wasn’t being such a bastard, he was actually kind of decent.

Goodness, thinking about him was not something you would’ve ever thought of doing before yet here you were, thinking about your childhood nemesis at work.

The morning was relatively fine sprinkled with bits of awkwardness. Jay forcefully drove you to work when you insisted on going in today despite his attempts of getting you to stay home. If you tried and told Ms Goodwin the truth, she was very likely to give you the day off. Your stubbornness didn’t wane though.

You shift was normal, going from boring and mundane to fast paced just how you liked it. Nothing changed and it was relieving to be surrounded by familiarity and some sort of routine, it was a big distraction from the mess waiting for you at home. You tried keeping yourself occupied at every moment because any second you got alone with your deprecating thoughts, you were for sure going to spiral to a dark place.

And you’d been doing a great job at keeping busy till a certain detective walked in through the ED doors.

From the corner of your eyes, nothing about him looked off but when you squinted and walked towards him, you could make out a bloody gash poking out from his ripped jacket sleeve.

Now, Jay being hurt at work was nothing new. In fact, it was to be expected and you’d never been too bothered by it unlike Will was whenever his injured brother walked in so casually like it was another normal Wednesday.

However, you knew what he was doing at work today and your concerns peaked to such a height that Will had no reason to be worried anymore; you took it all from him.

“What happened?” You tried to remain somewhat calm, schooling your face as you dragged his non-injured arm towards an empty treatment room. Internally, you were glad Will was in surgery otherwise he’d be smirking and laughing like a manic at the sight he was seeing, a sight he’d never even envision in his dreams.

“We found the guy.” Jay ignored your question, begrudgingly sitting down on the bed, rolling his eyes when you wouldn’t let him get up. “We arrested him. Platt’s booking him as we speak.”

And just like that, all the weights pushing you down under the ground dissipated and you were beyond relieved.

You hands faltered as they went to grab some gauze, your eyes looking up to see whether or not he was lying but the soft smile spread across his lips, you didn’t need to question his credibility.

Without thinking, your arms wrapped around his shoulders and interlocked around his neck. Instinctively, you squeezed him a little, eyes shut as you relished in the good news. For a while, the world around you didn’t exist before it all came rushing back.

Suddenly, you abruptly pulled back, eyes wide in shock as your actions sunk in. Pressing your lips together tightly, you avoided eye contact and went back to preparing the gauze and butterfly strips, maybe even some wipes to see the real extent of the damage your stalker inflicted onto Jay.

Jay huffed in amusement and you could feel his eyes burning into the side of your head. All of a sudden, you felt the need to smother his god forsaken handsome face-

What the fuck? There was no way you just thought that.

“He looks worse than me, don’t worry.” Jay started again, a smug smirk on his face as he spoke, his eyes not moving from your face. “He was being a bit of a dick so I roughed him up a little. This little nick is nothing.”

And for once, you didn’t doubt the truth behind his words. You fondly rolled your eyes before going to clean his bicep that was no longer covered by his jacket.

“My saviour.” You smiled placatingly, making brief eye contact before breaking it. “What would I have done without you.”

And for once again, there was no sarcasm dripping from your words. Behind them lay mostly the truth and maybe a hint of your typically sarcasm but without his help, who knows what would’ve happened.

“All in a days work.” Jay’s face didn’t change, his expression not moving a single bit. For a reason beyond your medical and surgical knowledge, you blushed, cheeks randomly feeling flushed.

Maybe now with childhood rivalry forgotten and shoved aside, things between the two of you could get better.

#one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #jay halstead x reader #onechicago #jay halstead #chicago med #chicago pd #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead x imagine #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n

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captainn-hook · 19 days

Text

Character analysis on Prince Sidon (BOTW vs TOTK)

One thing I love about totk is how the game addresses Sidon’s trauma.

In botw you see how desperate he is for his father’s approval, it’s like Mipha set an impossible standard for dying not only for her domain and her people but for the whole kingdom of Hyrule. In their father’s eyes, she’s the perfect child, not only in personality but also in the way she’s honoured her family. Sidon sees how his father thinks of her, and although the king doesn’t do it consciously, he always put her on an impossibly high pedestal, and Sidon grew up believing that he HAD to meet that expectation, and that he would never, no matter how hard he tried.

When Link tames Vah Ruta and they both go to see the king, he tells his son:

“As your father, I am proud of you for fighting the Divine Beast alongside Link. You have grown much recently. I know you will be a worthy heir when your time comes.”

Then Sidon bows his head, as if he’s overcome with emotions because his dad tells him he’s proud of what he’s accomplished. King Dorephan isn’t a bad guy, don’t get me wrong, but the grief of losing his daughter (in this case, he thought she went missing and had been in the DB for 100 years, he didn’t know she died) made him sort of lose sight of Sidon’s achievements in those 100 years because he was so racked with worry and guilt. So although the king isn’t a bad father, he fails to reassure his son that he doesn’t need to do anything to make him proud (even though Sidon had definitely done stuff to make his dad proud over the years).

(Btw im pretty sure tripple digits in age is considered teens or early adulthood for Zora, so he’s still pretty young, I imagine around Link’s age if he were Hylian)

But that’s about all we get in botw.

So now we move on to totk. And oh boy do we get a load of Sidon angst. Some people might disagree with me but having read between the lines of what Lady Yona talked about (and just WHAT she actually said) in the first half of the water temple quest (before we find it, when we’re up in Mipha court), it really is angsty.

She’s aware of the fact that his sister’s death affected him a lot and still does despite knowing that her spirit moved on, and it (at this point) has started to affect their relationship.

Yona and Sidon have a disagreement before/after the battle with the Sludge Like, where they argue about him going with Link to this pillar of light that has suddenly appeared. It starts with Sidon saying: “Lady Yona! It is far too dangerous for you to be here” in reference to the sludge, but she has none of that.

She tells him that she wants him to go to the pillar with Link, and that: “For a long time, I have been concerned that you are holding yourself back and not acting as freely as I would have expected.” This has some credit because it’s mentioned somewhere how they were both childhood friends, and the Zora live long lives so it’s safe to assume their childhood is prolonged, which means that they’ve known each other for a very long time. Yona knows how he acts and behaves, his mannerisms and his fears, and that’s why she wants to push him to face them.

She tells him that if he goes with Link they’ll be able to overcome this problem, but he hesitates. She notices, asking him what is troubling him, and he hesitates again to speak what’s on his mind. This is when the Sludge Like comes in, and after the battle, the conversation continues.

Sidon hurries back to Yona and says: “Thank goodness. Lady Yona, if something had happened to you... I...” and there’s where it becomes clear just how terrified he is of losing her. He doesn’t finish the sentence, though, he changes the subject and tells her that she should go back to the domain in case more monsters show up. She tells him that he should focus on what Link said and that he can leave the court to them (Yona and the others that came with her). Sidon replies with: “W-well... Of course it would be best for me to accompany him. However, I cannot leave you alone in this dangerous place!” He’s ignoring what’s best and instead focusing on the safety of his betrothed, because of course he would! A monster just showed up and it took both Link and Sidon to take it down, imagine if neither of them were with her, what would happen? What would he do if she got hurt? And then the following dialogue happens (you dont need to read the whole thing, you can just skip to the bold parts):

Yona: “Did you not entrust this task to us already? We will not be on our own for long. We shall be just fine.”

Sidon: “But…”

Yona: “Sidon, my darling... I truly appreciate that you worry so for my safety. It speaks to the kindness in your heart.

But you are the prince of the Zora. One day, you will lead the people of your beloved domain.

I can see right through you, whether you want me to or not. You are yielding to the fear of losing someone you love again.

You must overcome your past and face whatever the future holds with courage.”

Sidon: “But... I...”

Yona: “Enough is enough! You are not acting like yourself! You must leave this place to me!

Sweet Sidon... Do not get lost in the past. You must keep moving ever onward. Just follow your heart, as you always do!”

Sidon: “Like my old self... Like I always do...”

Yona: “It is all right. I swear it. I am not going anywhere.”

Sidon: “I see... And there it is, clear as day... I was giving in to my fear of once more losing someone I love... I… I…

You are right, Yona! I will not give in to this fear! Nor forsake my trust in you! I leave this place to you, my love.”

[skip]

Yona: “All this time he was clinging to regret over being unable to save his precious sister, Mipha... My poor, tormented Sidon.

And to think he was unknowingly paralyzed from taking action because he feared losing me as well...

Yet he has overcome this trial and placed his faith in me. At last, the Sidon I know and love has come back to me.”

During this conversation, Sidon hesitates more than once and you can see it starting to irritate Yona because she knows the potential he doesn’t see in himself, because it’s not just fear of losing a loved one, but it’s his own insecurity from not being able to save Mipha.

He doesn’t care that he was very young and wouldn’t have been able to anyway, he just cares that he couldn’t. In his eyes, he failed to save his sister. And I’m not going to go too deep into this point but it’s clear that she was playing both older sister and mother, because we can assume their mother died a while back (she’s never mentioned and it’s just the two of them and their father even as far back as age of calamity if you want to include that).

What I’m saying is that with technically both the loss of his mother and his sister, it’s safe to assume that he feels some sort of responsibility for not being able to help, even if he was too young to do so, his disregard for the age he was at the time shows how much weight was left on his shoulders after Mipha died.

He never expected to be the heir to the throne, the sole survivor of his family (along with his dad), sure he’s a prince and princes have responsibility, but Mipha was always going to be in the spotlight (not that I’d imagine him jealous of this, it’s simply just a fact, and I think he might have actually even been comfortable with that), she was always going to be the Zora Champion and then Queen one day, so to have all of that suddenly dumped on him after the calamity as a literal kid would’ve undoubtedly had its effect on him.

Yona understands this, she tells Link, knowing he’s probably caught on, how he was “clinging to regret over being unable to save his precious sister, Mipha...”.

She has to reassure her love that she’s okay. “It is all right. I swear it. I am not going anywhere.”, she comforts him because she knows he needs it, he needs her to say it to him because that’s the only way he will believe she is in fact okay.

But his character develops. Sidon realises that in fearing for Yona, he has made her feel as if she isn’t trusted. He recognises the position he’s put them both in, him worrying relentlessly and stressing out about his loved ones because of his trauma, and her having to watch him fall down this never ending rabbit hole and being unable to do much about it because all he tries to do is shelter and protect her, even when it’s unnecessary.

But she does what she can anyway, and it pays off, because he comes back to reality and understands that although there will always be the risk of losing her, he knows that she is more than capable of taking care of herself. He knows of her strength, it was just hard for him to see the situation from her point of view. But she pushes him to do so, and he betters himself for her.

I think he’ll always have some small hint of this trauma response hidden away, but after this discussion, he’s got a firm hold on it, and is willing to control his fears for the love of his life so that they can start to build a life together without the sense of utter doom and despair over his past looming over them both.

I’m glad the writers did this, and didn’t just make them seem like this perfect couple with no issues, it shows a real and healthy relationship, and it shows that Sidon isn’t this perfect person and that he indeed has faults of his own.

That’s my take on it, anyway.

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harusaki-hugo · 8 months

Text

Siblings HCs: Hanagaki Edition

Fandom; Tokyo Revengers

Hcs; What's it's like to be Tokyo Revengers younger/older siblings .

Note; I'm bored and I really want a siblings so I can bully them but here I am , the youngest sibling.

Being Takemichi twin sister:-

The smartest, responsible, and strongest twin. Even though you are the youngest, by two minutes but takemichi is always proud of that.

Identical twins despite being a different gender. Like the same hair, height, body type, and face, just like looking at a mirror.

Always mistaken for Takemichi before he dyes his hair. you decide to keep the black hair while he dyes his hair blond for delinquent ✨authentic✨ which you bluntly said, he looks mad ugly.

The only ones who know your existence are Mizo middle gang, well, Takuya at first because he's Takemichi's childhood friend, and automatically he is also your friend.

Yamagishi calls you Takemichi doppelganger and Makoto calls you the ✨cooler✨ Hanagaki, Akkun having a crisis because he thinks you are hot and it's calling Takemichi hot too.

The original Mizo middle leader but you thought it was a waste of time and gave it to Akkun because he's the second most responsible boy, first Takuya but you didn't trust him leading the gang, because of his health.

When Takemichi joins Toman, let's just say when he's first coming back home beaten up, the next day you decide to meet with Toman's president.

Imagine the shock when they see black hair takemichi with a really rare piss-off expression. Like they were confused as hell.

Just before anyone can register what happens, you back fist Mikey in the face.

"oi, takemitchy! you heal pretty fast!"

The original inventor of Hanagaki's infamous ✨ back fist ✨

Shock. Silence. Pure confusion.

Mikey seems pretty stunned at first before he smirk and clenches his fist but before he can throw a punch at you, takemichi appears with Mizo middle and yells;

"That's a girl version of Takemichi!!"-"Dumbass!!! it's called twin sister!!"

You can guess who yell that.

Another silence before chaos interrupts.

Baji is like, "That thing is takemitchy twin?!"

Chifuyu like; "this is like manga I read..where the second male lead falls in love with their love interest twin after being rejected by love interest."

Mitsuya like; "Takemitchy original hair color is black?"

And lastly Draken who look between the twin and said; "Are we going to ignore the fact she hit Mikey?"

"ken-chin, it's hurt." Mikey who looks at you with sparkling eyes because damn that's backfist is hurting like hell, you can see the bruises on his cheek.

Long story short: you are now part of Toman, not an official member but as Hina and Emma and the gang members girlfriends guardian angel.

Because the last time someone tried to kidnap Peh-yan's girlfriend, you appeared with a metal pipe and everyone could hear a doom soundtrack while you swung that pipe.

The news:- a group of delinquents gets sent to the hospital after being beaten up by an unknown individual. three still unconscious and the remaining still in the emergency room. Unfortunately, no death.

Nickname; Take-chi, nii-chan, take-nii (child ver), crybaby bitch (lovingly), cornbread head (as joke) , simp (when he around Hina)

His nickname; Lil' sis, my sister, ototo-chan, the better twin (around Hina) , brother abuser , sometimes just your name.

I'm bored okay. and I want to write fanfic about takemichi gremlin's twin that the infamous delinquent but he the one gets the ✨fame✨

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #x reader #hanagaki takemichi #sano manjiro #ken ryuguji #mitsuya takashi #baji keisuke #matsuno chifuyu #anime #platonic x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader

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kxxkiecxre · 1 year

Text

❦ Deja Vu ❦ Jeon Jungkook

PAIRING: Jungkook x reader

SUMMARY: your childhood best friend is all grown up.

WARNINGS: stalker!Koo, unprotected sex (pls don’t), he nuts inside her, kinda toxic relationship between oc and Daniel (her ex), hickies, back scratches, skin marking, oral sex (f. Receiving) idk? I think that’s it?

WC: 3.2K

Really rushed because I’m half asleep lol also not edited.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Sipping on your drink in a musty club was not what you imagined to happen right after your last college exam ever. But Hyuna is a very convincing individual, and that is how you ended up in said club, tipsy and laughing with your best friend, wearing your skimpiest little black dress.

It was too hot in the club, your makeup felt like it was melting away even though it remind looking perfect and fresh, Hyuna was drunk, and you were tipsy, you needed to pee so badly but, it was all perfect. It was exactly how every weekend used to go back in your first year of college.

There was many men and women that were hot, but for some reason, through all these college years, no one ever piked your interested. No one but Daniel, back in second year of college, it’s a sticky situation. You wouldn’t call it love, but, it’s been so long and the fact you defied your parents for him, it’d be shameful to breakup with him now.

“And so, we broke up” Hyuna finishes, shaking her hand in a funny way. Hyuna was too cute for her own good.

“I know babe, I was there.”

“Alreast we ended on good terms” she pouts slightly while you nod in agreement.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom, releasing the heaviness in the pit of your stomach. God you hated holding your pee in. Washing your hands and drying them, you rip a bit of tissue, tapping away the slight sweat by your hairline, and adjusting your bangs. You give yourself a once over, before returning to Hyuna.

“Yeah she’s about medium height, listens more than talks when tipsy, eh has huge eyes..” as you near Hyuna you over hear some tall guy in a black button up explain someone to her.

“Mmm that must be my bestie Y/N, she went to empty her weak bladder love” she says sipping on her drink.

“I heard my name-“ you gasp, heart immediately quickening at the familiar doe eyes staring back at you.

“Jungkook?” You ask in disbelief.

He smirks, “long time no see huh?”

You almost do a double take as Hyuna excuses herself, winking at you swiftly.

What has happened to him? Why is he so tall, and hot? So fucking handsome out of nowhere. You remember him as a shy 18 year old, heading off for college with big doe eyes and short spikey hair. This, this is not the same Jungkook that’s left you behind. Sure he’s older by two years, but goddamn. Time did him good.

“Yeah I mean 7 years is a lot of time but wow,” you scoff in amusement, “time did you good Jungkook.”

“I can tell you the same thing,” he eyes you up and down, “you became a woman. Wow. A smart one at that, masters degree in law? I’m proud of you.”

Sitting down at the stools by the bar you smile softly, “thank you.”

“So catch me up, I haven’t seen you for a long time. How are you? Are dating? How are you parents”.

Chuckling you make a mental note of the fact he no longer is the shy boy you know, he’s straight forward and to the point, no beating around the bush anymore, “I’m doing good, and yes I’m seeing someone. And my parents, they’re not talking to me.”

His brows pull into a frown, eyes glancing at you as yours land on his large hand wrapped around the shot glass, “seeing someone? Dating or trying it out?”.

“Dating, for awhile now actually.”

He nods, swallowing the drink in one swing, “and your parents? Why aren’t they talking to you hm? Do i need to talk to them?”.

“You’re still in contact with them? And no you don’t need to. They don’t approve of Daniel. They think he isn’t good for me, we had an argument, and they never called me again. To cut it short for you.”

He hums.

You take a minute take a really good long look at him. He’s dressed in all black, hair dark and eyes still doe but yet so alluring and seductive. Lips still the same just a lot more blushed and juicy, mature in a sense. Jaw sharp and skin glistening. His right hand sharing hints of tattoos and you smirk at that.

“What are you doing here by the way? If you don’t mind me asking.” You ask, sipping on the drink the bartender just slipped to you.

“I moved back, got my own apartment. Thought it made more sense to move here since the main company is situated here.” He says, eyes so attentive to you, you could swear you were spiking a fever just by the way you’re blushing.

“Mhm what company do you work for?” You ask, trying to mindlessly keep the conversation going.

“R.A.M & Co” he answers smoothly.

“Ooh I heard about them, apparently very successful.”

“You could say that” he smirks once again.

Your phone buzzes and you apologise. Answering swiftly, Daniels voice rings on the other end, asking you to come home and sighing you agree.

“I’m going to head out now Kook, take care of yourself hm?” You nod goodbye to him.

“Get home safely” he smiled back at you.

Walking home wasn’t necessarily alarming, or scary for you. You’ve know this big town for awhile, walked the streets thousands of times. Throwing your head back and exhaling, you think about Jungkook and how much he’s grown to be a man. The cold night drawing as cloud of fog to escape your lips.

Jungkook became a man whose begging to be worshipped. You’ve never been a disloyal person, but it’s not like your current relationship actually has any love there. You know Daniel sees other women on a regular, you just choose to ignore it. You’ve made a mess between yourself and your family, it would be embarrassing to break up now.

Scanning the streets, your eyes mimics the street lights and the many neon signs embracing the vast city. But somewhere in the back of your mind, actually no, right in the middle of your mind, you see yourself with Jungkook. Hands wrapped in his black hair, lips on his and bodies heating up with the activities you partake in, and for the first time in awhile you feel the buzz of some form of a good feeling. Perhaps, lust?

Huffing to yourself, you pull your dress down your ass. How could you imagine such vulgar things with a man who used to be your best friend? But good god, how could you not? The man is literally sex on legs, fuck he drove you crazy and it took him just a mere half an hour to talk with you. You wonder just how many girls begged to have him just for one night.

Lazily pulling out the keys to your apartment, you sigh, knowing Daniel is inside of it, about to scold you for going out and living your life once again. You should have never gave him a key to your place. That was your first big mistake.

Stepping into the house, you slip your shoes of, hanging your bag on the coating rack and strolling into the living room. Where of course, he’s sat on the couch, head in his hands that were supported on his knees. By all means, Daniel wasn’t a bad looking guy. He was hot, abs for days deep black eyes with a buzz cut.

“We need to talk” he mutters.

“Daniel if you’re going to scold me for going out again save I-“

“I’m breaking up with you.” He says, getting up of the couch and staring across the room at you.

Your hands stop pulling the grapes of the branches, your stomach pausing in the middle of your inhale. What? The edge of the kitchen island dug into your belly uncomfortably. All of a sudden?.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me Y/N, i can’t keep being with someone who has no respect or love for me.” He continues.

You Scoff, smirking in anger as your jaw slacks, your hand slaps against the marble and your rock back and forth on your heels, “oh save the crap. I’ve stayed with your two years Daniel, despite the fact you’ve been fucking all the girls behind my back, and I’m the one that doesn’t have respect for you? Oh go fuck yourself honestly.”

He pales slightly, his figure stiffening at your angry form, “leave my house Daniel.”

He does as you ask, not muttering a single word as your eyes begin to swell with tears once the door of your apartment shuts. You couldn’t believe you wasted all this time on someone whose so fucking useless and disrespectful. But that’s what you get for being naive, for not putting yourself first.

On the counter, your phone buzzes. An unknown number pops up and you think for a second if you should answer, after a second you press the green circle and put the phone to your ear.

“Did you get home safely?” You recognise that smooth voice, and it sends shivers down your spine.

“Yes,” you replied “how did you get my number.”

“Hyuna” he mutters lowly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect,” he chuckles, “are you?”

The beat of silence gets loud, pounding between your phone lines as you inhale sharply, “he broke up with me.”

He laughs lowly, “mhm good. You didn’t love him anyway, and correct me if im wrong, but don’t you deserve better?”.

“What are you getting at Jungkook?”

The line on his side goes quiet and for a minute you think he hung up on you, “you really think I don’t know who he is? Baby, I know everything about him. He’s nothing but a fake. He’s merely a man of his words.”

Furrowing your brows you sigh, “I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“I could make you feel things he’d never be capable of.”

“Jungkook-“

“Would you let me in if I knocked on your door right now?”

Stilling, your frown deepens in confusion, “what?”.

A knock echoes through your apartment, and your lips part. How the fuck does he know your address?

“Jungkook how do you know where I live?”

“Answer the door baby, I’ll explain everything.”

Your heart rate is probably through the roof, but you cannot decipher if that’s the result of Jungkook’s impeccable stalking abilities, or because he makes you want to give him your body right that second. Despite that, you open the door and there he was, in all his glory, black leather jacket now engulfing his body.

You let him in, following behind him as he looks around. His eyes find yours within seconds, and god did they look anything but innocent this moment.

He stalks towards you, cornering you into the wall, arm above your head as he leans down to be eye level with you. At this second, he could murder you, maybe even kidnap you, but something inside you would let him do both of the things. He looks like he’s famished, ready to devour whatever meal you give him and god do you want to give him the best meal of his life. His dark eyes, pierced through yours as they watched the metal ring around his lip. Why is he so damn fucking attractive right now?

His single look, makes you feel everything you haven’t in your two year relationship. You feel high, ecstatic as if you’re in cloud nine right now. As if nothing, absolutely nothing could hurt you or touch you but him. And you’re so fucking good with that, actually, you’re in love with that.

He was too good to be true, his whole demeanour possessive, manly and dominant. The siren eyes, the smirking lips and confident body language was driving you insane and if humanly possible, you’d orgasm right there and then.

The tension in the room was strong. Thick like a million bands carefully weaved together to create a sheath of nothing but sheer lust, and sex crazed energy. It could raise the roof if it was physical, whining like a whistle of a boiling kettle, threatening to blow the windows around you within a millisecond. Even the air around you was hot heavy and so dangerous. One word could break it or make it and the longer you stared at each other, the tighter the band tied. Threatening to snap at any given moment.

“Take me,” you whisper, “Jungkook.”

His smirk deepens, eyes becoming even darker than before and you knew, you knew this was going to be the best time of your life. Like the flash of thunder, Jungkooks lips latched onto yours. Sucking on them like a hungry man, tongue poking through to wander around your mouth, fighting tugging massaging your own as you moaned into the heated kiss.

“Bedroom, first door on the right.” You muttered hurriedly, peeling the black leather jacket of him and tossing it somewhere there in the living room.

Untying the laces of your dress, he smirks, “oh yeah?”.

“Fuck Jungkook don’t be a tease right now” you whined.

Chuckling he follows you into the room, discarding your clothes haphazardly everywhere around your house, cluttering your floors with a mix of yours and his clothes. You stand before him in a red lace bra and underwear, and scoffs in amuse.

“He was missing out on all this?” He shakes his head tsking.

You stood before him, skin caramel and glistening even in the dark, the only source of light being the glowing moon seeping into your windows, painting you in a blue light. God you were beautiful, your skin soft and smooth. You were a wonderful woman and he was in disbelief that your ex didn’t worship you the way you should be. He’s never expected to find you to be this grown. Breasts spilling out of your bra, ass round a plump and he could smell the femininity of you. The smell of woman and maturity and he loved it.

With no time to waste, he ripped the materials of your body. Lips immediately finding place in your skin, kissing, biting licking. You squirmed underneath him, begging to feel him in you already, but he was a patient man, and he knew he had to give you a bit of time.

Finger rubbing up and down your seeping slit, he groans. Fuck your were so wet, it was trickling down your ass you could feel it. His finger prodded your entrance, slipping in slowly mouth finally finding place in your clit and you gasped, moaning softly as his finger hooked inside you, thrusting carefully and gently inside you. Maddening you every second that goes by and he knew, he loved it.

His lips suctioned on your clit, tip of his tongue flicking up and down, stimulating your mind to a whole different dimension. Your body electrified, buzzing with a certain high you haven’t felt for what felt like ancient time. Your flesh felt like it was crawling with a million ants, tingling, tickling you all the way from your toes to your head, sweat began formulating on your skin, turning to a light blush pink hue, your fingers itching to tangle in his hair, feeling the silk locks falling through your fingers.

The pit of your stomach felt like it had a rock inside it, begging to be relieved, lifted out. Your legs closing in around his head as he moaned onto your pussy, your moans pitching to a melody he hasn’t heard ever be this beautiful. His finger rubbing up into your flesh, curling, thrusting, triggering your pussy to flutter. Your arousal coating his chin, his hand, your legs and anything close enough to it. Your stomach falling and rising with your quickened breaths, your ribs flaring as your back arched, walls clenching around his finger, and with a final suck of his lips, you cummed around his finger, whining as you smacked your lips together to poke your tongue out, moisturising the dry flesh.

“You good?” He asks, coming back up your body like a snake weaving around you.

You hummed a yes, nimble fingers trailing from his broad shoulders to neck and finally at the base of his head, urging him to close the distance between your lips. He tasted of you, with a hint of mint.

“I need you, now”

He smirked, blinking lazily as he reached behind him, successfully pulling his boxers off himself. His dick was hard, you could feel it between your folds, rubbing up and down to coat itself in your essence. Looking right into his eyes, he held your stare, pushing the tip of his cock inside, slowly, filling you up. Your walls stretched with a sting, nothing too painful, at least not to a point you didn’t enjoy it.

You could feel him in the base of your stomach, both of you gasping right as he bottomed out. Your head lifting of the pillow minimally, left hand still wrapped into the base of his locks. He gave you a few minutes to adjust, before dragging himself out, barely living the tip in, before thrusting back in. Your moans bounced of the walls, hanging in the air ghostly. Skin on skin, heat rushing between both you as his pace picked up, his head in buried in the crook of your neck, where occasionally, his lips would suck with the intent to leave a mark behind.

The electricity between you felt like it was almost igniting bigger sparks every time your skin would rub of each other.

With his cock dragging in and out of you rhythmically, your eyes shut. Back arching into hot and sweaty body, head tilting back into the pillow, throat so attractive to Jungkook eyes he couldn’t help himself but to suck another pretty purple bruise right there. With your hands trailing down his back and landing on his ass, he chuckles softly, feeling the way you begin to clench around him again, sucking him in tighter, and he lets out a strangled groan right into your ear, prompting you to whine just as beautifully.

But as the coil in your stomach begins to warn, your moans pick up in volume. Nails dragging around his back, surely marking him just as his tight grip is on your hip. Leaving finger prints right there and you loved it. Before you knew it, the knot snaps inside you, ripping a loud moan out of you, before it got stuck in your throat, and all that Jungkook could do was chase his high, staring at your face, watching as your features pulled into ecstasy, and it was enough to send Jungkook soaring, filling you up with his warm cum.

You stayed wrapped around each other for another minute, before he dropped on the other side of the bed beside you. Smiling crazily to himself almost not believing he just nutted into the woman he’s loved since he was a 14 year old shy boy damn.

Looking at each other almost instinctively, both of you burst into laughter. Before the rapid knocking of your door sends you into dressing yourselves in a hurried rush. Jungkook followed behind you slowly, watching as you opened the door, gasping.

“Mom?”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

A/N: no stop I actually don’t know how to end anything I write lmfao.

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REWRITE MY STORIES IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!

MASTERLIST

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yardsards · 1 year

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thinking of the Implications of the blight parents signing their 14 year old daughter up for emperor's coven tryouts

because

1: the emperor's coven takes their recruits away from their friends and family

2: they do not wait until you are an adult to do this

(like, even assuming the process from getting accepted into the coven to actually joining it and moving to the castle aren't as fast as hunter makes it sound here it's like.

we do see lilith having dinner at home after eda's been cursed. so it wasn't immediate (at least back then it wasn't)

but they weren't waiting til she was an adult either. cuz eda was 2 years younger than lilith (thus at least 2 years younger than whatever the boiling isles considers an adult, cuz we know lilith was still a student then too) and she and lilith planned on joining at the same time. there wasn't a "well, eda can't actually *join* join for two more years, so she might as well wait for next tryout anyway"

which, tryouts might not be *yearly*, perhaps it's more efficient to not have to run the training camp every year, but i don't imagine they'd be less often than every couple of years)

so this?

the blight parents are 100% willing to send their FOURTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD away *forever*

14 years old. not even done with puberty yet. half a head shorter than her siblings and a whole head shorter than her parents. face still covered in baby fat.

this is a child who is called *mittens* by not only her siblings but by the very parents who were willing to send her away

and they weren't just sending her off to live far-ish away and rarely see them again; they were sending her off to have a Real Grownup Job. even if exactly how bad working for the emperor is isn't a well-known fact, it's still obviously a full-time job.

odalia has wanted amity to join the emperor's coven for a long time. after all, having a daughter in the emperor's coven would bring a lot of prestige to the family, and she could maybe try to leverage amity's position to gain more power

and odalia can be an impatient woman, so it makes sense that she'd want this to happen as soon as possible. not to mention, she's canonically not averse to child labour

(i briefly considered that maybe odalia wanted amity out of her life but i don't think that's the case. odalia doesn't outright hate amity; odalia's cruelty comes from seeing her family as tools (and seeing amity as very useful but flawed) rather than malice)

meanwhile, alador explains his choice by saying he thought it was what amity wanted

and it's addressed that that's not really her dream (at least, it DEFINITELY isn't anymore. they way she used to "want" to join the emperor's coven is worthy of its own post tbh). and that if he paid attention to her, talked to her, listened to her, and made himself a person that she could comfortably admit these kinds of things to, then he'd know that.

but he also ignores her when she says she doesn't want to go to tryouts that night (even if she didn't admit that she never wants to join the emperor's coven at all) and wants to go to the bonesborough brawl instead.

doesn't stop to question why his daughter -who has previously shown herself to be rather studious, responsible, and goal-oriented- would suddenly want to "goof off". he just... assumes she's being irresponsible and thoughtlessly not pursuing "her dream" or "a bright future" for no reason, and just needs to be pushed into doing the supposedly responsible thing

but that doesn't quite explain why he's convinced that she needs to do this at *age fourteen*, why her future can't wait a few more years, why her dream needs to happen as soon as possible before her childhood's even over. (and i'm not gonna take "because odalia said so" as an answer here; he's clearly convinced that what he's doing is right and is not just mindlessly following orders)

well, first possibility: i think maybe, while he's not as bad or blatant about it as his wife, he might also think material success is the key to happiness (and the emperor's coven is considered one of the most successful positions in the world, next to being a covenhead)

and with that kind of mindset, a lot of the things that would bring the children actual happiness just get forgotten. their needs for attention and affection, for friendship and leisure, for the freedom to express themselves, for the chance to just be kids, all get thrown by the wayside -sacrificed in the name of "success"

by that line of thinking: joining the emperor's coven = material success and material success = happiness. and if joining the emperor's coven = happiness, then joining sooner = being happy sooner. and why wouldn't a parent want their child to find happiness as soon as possible? unfortunately her age and specific needs are not in that equation at all, even though they're obviously actually very important factors

(you could also honestly apply this reasoning to odalia herself as well, if you want to be charitable. cuz i've seen good arguments that she does actually care about her family's wellbeing, but in a twisted sort of way, wherein her priorities are extremely skewed AND it gets obscured by her own selfishness. idk, the show's characterization of her is weird, even compared to her husband (i blame the s3 shortening rushing their development, tbh). so i waited to bring this up til after i started talking about alador.)

there's also a second possibility: maybe he realizes that their home environment is bad for amity (which, it is), and thinks getting her out of there early by any means would be good for her (which, not quite the case)

maybe not even by noticing her actual misery, but by projecting his own misery onto her. like, he's in an abusive marriage and severely overworked. when he says amity has a bright future, he's kind of contrasting her with himself, and -consciously or not- implying that his life is not what a bright future looks like (which kind of goes against the first possibility, because he is rather financially successful). and he's very afraid of his children having to take his place: probably especially amity, because she's the abomination witch and would be more likely to have to take on his exact job

(ironically, though he doesn't know it, emperor's coven members are just as overworked and controlled as he is)

except, y'know, leaving a toxic home environment to become fully self sufficient is not the kind of upgrade for a kid that it would be for an adult. it'd just be throwing her from one bad situation to another

and also it's your responsibility as a parent to provide an environment for your child that they don't need to escape from. and while some concessions can be made due to the whole abusive wife situation, that doesn't absolve him of all responsibility.

like, the whole point of his role in reaching out was that the WERE things that he COULD do better. like, he became a better father at the end of that episode than he was at the beginning. and none of that change was due to "my wife changed, so i now have the ability to be a better father"; odalia wasn't involved in that growth at all

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #toh meta #amity blight #odalia blight #alador blight #i love analyzing this family's deeply messed up dynamics if that fact weren't obvious already #*lifts up the blight family* every last one of yinz need therapy #sidenote most of these screenshots are basically useless in making my point #the adhd just likes pictures to break up text blocks #long post #anyway. *puts the blight parents into a blender*

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yourmomxx · 6 months

Text

GIRL CRUSH

❧ summary - you are in love with jj, but he only has eyes for someone else

❧warnings - signs of depression, disassociation and withdrawal, all the angst, unrequited feelings, this is written kind of abstract, I think?

❧word count - 4.7k

❧based on this request

songs ❧girl crush - harry styles ❧she - dodie ❧astronomy - conan gray

❧main masterlist

“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” ― James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

Kiara Carrera was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

It was a fact almost as certain as the continous circling of the earth around the sun.

She was captivating, really, and it was such a strong pull toward her it almost confused you.

Her hair was dark, curls silky and defined, in a way that yours could never be. You wished, sometimes, you had her tan skin, smooth and soft, the object of all desires. The way she walked was enchanting, floating just the right amount in her step and never too harsh. You could drown in the deep brown of her dark eyes, expression of empathy and compassion, sincere in a way you only wished you could be.

You were in love with Kiara Carrera, because who couldn’t be, with her angel voice, and her confident attitude, and the way she smelled of flowers, and beach, and the rising sun on the first summer day.

Kiara Carrera had once in your presence been compared to a descendant of the Greek goddess Aphrodite, which, in all honesty, you couldn’t do anything else than agree to. You would know, you were one of her best friends, you spent almost every waking minute with her and the rest of the pogues, and yet you never grew tired of the spark she had that made her glowing golden.

The amount of guys you’d had walking up to you, to ask for her or about her, and how could you blame them, you understood. But you turned them away.

You would like to say it was merely for Kiara’s gain, because you didn’t want one of those not-serious screwboys in her near, but it wasn’t, you weren’t considerate like that, another trait that she had you forward in.

But Kiara Carrera, beauty incarnate, the princess of pogues, living evidence of relations between the rich and the poor side of the island, had only eyes for one specific person herself. A boy that made her smile in a way that made her forget the entire world around her, and also shake her head in exasperation when he talked sometimes.

The lucky guy’s name was JJ Maybank, and he was her best friend, and, in a way, also yours.

JJ admired Kiara. In that way, he was no different to the other guys that kissed the blessed ground she walked on. He loved the way she paced around the room when she was contemplating hard, or the way the wind from over the sea blew a stray curl in her face.

JJ Maybank was more than his love for Kiara Carrera, though. JJ was kindness, and consideration, and he was the overcome of a terrible childhood, and he was the love he held for his friends.

In that way, you couldn’t blame Kiara for being infatuated him. Because who wouldn’t be? Thinking about it like that, they fit for each other perfectly, like two pieces of the same puzzle.

There was no space for you in-between. There never had been.

It had become a tradition for you and JJ to meet up in-between lessons to talk about the most mundane things, gossiping about annoying teachers and getting at least one intelligent conversation for the hour.

It was mostly JJ doing the talking, though, oftentimes. You didn’t mind. Letting JJ’s voice wash over you like the silent lullaby of the waves on a windy day had turned into a necessary comfort you couldn’t imagine to miss.

You hadn’t enjoyed school for a while now. There were too many people cramped up on too little space for your liking, and everyone wanted to talk about everything, and it demanded your concentration on things you found yourself not caring about or interested in.

But you met deadlines, and you delivered the grades, so that meant you were alright.

If the breaks you spent in-between classes leaning on your locker, talking to JJ - or mostly listening to him - were what made things worse or better, you didn’t know. And even if you had caught yourself glancing at his quickly moving lips for far too long than a friend should every once in a while, then you didn’t allow yourself to think about it.

The cheaply painted, red metal was cold against your cheek, as you did your best to not bend over and throw up that sickening feeling that’s been sitting heavy on your chest the entire day.

It was Thursday. Maybe. Might be Friday. You didn’t really remember it all that much anymore, it all was blurred. JJ was talking about a party he went to, where he met someone who told him something, that’s what your mind managed to register.

JJ didn’t enjoy spending time with you anymore. It was clear to you, clearer than freshly polished glass windows.

He hasn’t said it like that, of course.

JJ would never, he was too nice.

But you weren’t Kiara, and JJ would much rather spend time with her than with you. You knew that, it was not hard to tell.

All at once, JJ suddenly stopped his rambling mid-sentence.

You didn’t need to see the way he glanced over your shoulder as he suddenly stood taller, or hear the silk voice travel down the hallway, calling out his name, to realize who had shown up.

You recognized it in the change of his eyes when he looked at her.

Kiara swerved a younger student as she headed straight up to JJ, hugging him, and greeting you with the most blinding and sincere smile you’d ever seen someone wear.

She made it so easy to love her that you felt terrible about wanting to hate her.

Those thoughts were changed when she looped her arm around JJ’s and fixed his hair.

JJ’s hair didn’t need fixing, that’s what you thought. He was beautiful when his blond strands were tousled, boyish, and it added up with the mischievous glint that swam in his eyes.

You were being unfair now, you knew that, Kiara wasn’t the bad guy here, she’d merely pushed a strand of JJ’s hair aside as she talked to him.

JJ’s skin was surely burning at the spot where her skin had touched his.

You knew yours was.

JJ’s voice would be different as well, when he spoke to Kiara.

It was light, in a way that you knew you could never make him sound, because you had no way to make him feel free, and careless, and cared for, not in a way you used to, when he was still only friends with her and you were allowed to be selfish enough to keep him to yourself.

The sickening feeling spread again. From your chest, down to your stomach and in your throat, quite like the exact opposite of the warmth that seeing JJ once had given you, and you almost laughed at the irony if you weren’t in so much pain.

JJ waved his hand at you. “Hey man, see you later, I told Kie I’d walk her to class.” You blinked.

Kie. He liked to call her that. A nickname. He’d never given a nickname to you.

You nodded. “Yeah no, sure. See ya.”

JJ disappeared into the crowd, Kiara somewhere next to him.

All of a sudden, you didn’t know if the world had been this blurry the entire time.

The next time it happened, was at the beach.

You were walking next to JJ on your right side, Kiara was occupying your left. You were on your way together to John B’s cabin to meet him and Pope there, and had decided to take the long route next to the raging sea.

Wind was carrying the smell of salt in your direction, and JJ’s tanktop was tugged around all over his body.

In hindsight, you should have known. In hindsight, if you had spun the thought only a bit further, you would have known that there would not be a way for this to work.

JJ and Kiara were two forces pulling each other near, nothing that only possessed human strength could put itself between them, it was no use, not even to try.

“And I mean, the Carsons got this huge boat-”

JJ gestured around with his hands when he talked. You leaned slightly away as to not get in the way of his movements.

Kiara was focused on him when JJ spoke. Her body subconsciously drifted nearer.

You leaned slightly away so she wouldn’t bump into you.

JJ made a joke.

Kiara laughed.

She doubled over and leaned into JJ. Her hand found his arm as she slapped him playfully. JJ tucked his head down. Blushing, probably.

This time, the sickening feeling started in your stomach and chest already.

They were walking together now, right next to each other. Their joy-bounced steps carried them further than yours, weighed down by longing, and caring, and guilt, and you fell back.

The only thing you could do was follow their already vanishing footsteps in the sand.

When you arrived at the cabin, and Kiara and JJ greeted your friends a whole lot of feet before you did, John B raised his eyebrows at you, questioning.

You ignored his suspicious look.

Pope seemed to hold you just the tiniest bit closer when he hugged you.

The feeling spread out to your head.

The last time it happened was at a party.

One, that, in your defense, you did not even intend to show up to. It was a house party, which was unusual enough as it was, which pogue was there you could meet that had enough space in their house to throw a party and enough determination to clean it all up afterwards?

But, apparently, John Laren had moved new on the island, and wanted to make his presence known as of that event. Where middle-aged people brought casseroles, cupcakes or batches of brownies, eighteen year-olds threw massive parties with drugs and alcohol for everyone that was underage and younger.

As mentioned, you hadn't planned to go. In your current condition, a party was really the last thing on your mind.

Unfortunately for you, though, you had not calculated Pope Heyward into that idea.

That prick.

"Yes, I'm coming!"

You rushed to your front door, almost tumbling over that goddamn couch leg that you had wanted to rip off for years now, and quickly swung open the thick hardwood, before the person on the other side could get a chance to pound against it as if their life depended on it again.

"Geez!"

Before you were even able to realize who stood before you, Pope had already shoved you by the chest, and into the house again.

The door slammed close again.

“You are going to that party.”

Your mind wasn’t working right now.

“What are you- Hey, come back!”

But Pope had already made his way up the stairs. You turned and ran after him.

By the time you arrived on the upper floor, Pope was already standing in your room, ready to open the closet doors. You jumped forward and slammed then closed, guarding them with your arms spread like something sacred.

“Slow down,” you said. Pope rewarded you with an impatient look.

“What are you doing here?”

“You know what i’m doing here,” Pope shot back, no hesitation.

You withstood the urge to roll your eyes.

“I’m not going to John Stewart’s,” you clarified.

Pope did roll his eyes.

“His name is John Laren,” he corrected you. “John Stewart is on reality tv.”

He grabbed you by the shoulders, and easily maneuvered your non-resisting body to the edge of your bed.

“And you are going,” He stated. He pressed you into the mattress.

“Now sit down and be quiet, and let me pick out something for you to wear.”

Pope whirled around and ripped the closet doors open. He began rummaging though the different shirts and pants that were hung up inside.

“I don’t understand why you so desperately want me to go,” You said, swerving right to ditch an orange shirt that came flying at you just in time.

“Because,” Pope drew out the word slowly, as he concentrated on a black tank top in his hands, “you’re sulking.”

He walked over and thrusted the top into your grip.

“And when you’re sulking, I’m sulking,” he continued. “We’re twinning.”

“But we’re not-“ Pope raised a warning eyebrow. You raised your hands in defeat.

“Alright, alright.”

Pope patted your cheek.

“That’s my boy.”

A second of hesitation, but Pope sighed and the mattress dipped as he sat down next to you.

"Look, man," He started, hesitantly. "I like to think that you don't think I'm stupid."

You raised your eyebrows. Pope continued.

"And, considering I don't need glasses, unlike - some of us-" He took a deep breath.

"Man, I see the way you look at Kiara."

Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline.

The way you looked at- "What?" You stuttered out, not even trying to hide how baffled you were.

Pope shook his head. "My bad, I should have worded that differently. I mean the way you look at Kiara, when she is around JJ."

Oh.

Ah.

Your body felt slow. This made way more sense.

You didn't even notice how you were slowly turning away to not have to look Pope in the eye.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't-" Pope scoffed. More at himself than you, really.

"I know we have that rule. No pogue on pogue macking? But seriously, man, I should be the first person who knows what it feels like to be in love with their best friend. And honestly? I can't blame you."

You felt a comforting pressure on your shoulder when Pope placed his hand there.

"I want you to know I'm not judging you. Don't feel bad about ... what you're feeling. You know?"

You loudly breathed in, not even knowing what to say. What could there be to say?

Pope stood up again. His hand slid off your shoulder slowly. He didn't hold your silence against you. You silently thanked him for it.

"Look, that's the whole reason I want you to go to this party. You need to loosen up a little, drink away your thoughts, get some groove in."

Pope demonstrated his words by shaking his whole body from one side to another like a dancing snake.

The corners of your mouth cracked into a smile at that. Pope saw it as a win, turned back to your closet again, grinning.

You sighed, suddenly reminded of why he was here in the first place.

"What would I even be doing there?"

Pope shrugged, still rummaging through all your clothes, not caring about any mess. "Go out. Have fun. Have some drinks. Have some boys, have some girls, whatever you're feeling tonight."

You ignored him. "Are JJ and Kiara going to be there?"

"No," Pope answered shortly and pulled out cargo pants from the closet. "They both have plans."

"Together?"

Pope threw the pants at you. "Here you go. Put it on, fifteen minutes, downstairs." He waved himself off. "Actually ten, you're not a teenage girl. Let's go!"

And just like that, he was out the door. You regarded the clothes in your hands skeptically, the black tank top and dark green cargo pants, and couldn't help but notice, how Pope had not answered your question.

Jason Lawrence was a Pogue, whose lifestyle drifted more toward the direction of Kook. There had been a few of them over time, the line between too poor and too rich wavering, and they were trapezing on it.

Whether John Lance invited all entirety of the cut to show off, or to really just throw himself a good old welcome party, remained unclear.

In all honesty, you didn't really care that much. The only reason you were here was because of Pope, and the second he dared to take his eyes off you for more than five minutes, you would be gone like the wind.

Multicolored lights flashed over the ceiling like the spotlights in a club. Most people that were running around with red solo cups in their hands, you recognized - from bonfires or other house parties.

In a way, the entire cut was just like a really big neighbourhood.

Your eyes searched over the crowd of people, desperately looking for a quiet space next to a wall, hopefully, and you politely denied a blond girl with just the necessary amount of covering-up clothing, when she offered you a drink.

"Come on, man, at least pretend like you're having fun!"

Pope appeared next to you out of the blue, and if the loud music hadn't swallowed his equally yelled words, you would have flinched.

You shot your friend a grim look.

"That would be lying, and I don't like lying."

A sharp pain erupted in your chest when Pope stabbed his finger right above your sternum.

"See, I know that's a lie," He said. "Because I know you like lying, I saw you lying often, so what you just said -" He raised his poking finger, "-'t was a lie."

You leaned closer to him and furrowed your eyebrows.

"Dude, are you drunk already?" You asked loudly.

"We've barely been here for half an hour!"

Pope shrugged, shoulders and hips moving to the rhythm in a way that was definitely not correct by beat.

"Chester from the mini bar did a mix for me!" He explained, hand shooting out to point you in the direction where he had come from.

You raised your eyebrows. Chester from the mini bar might have mixed Pope's stuff a bit too well. That lightweight couldn't hold his own on a normal day with a beer.

You smelled the cup in his hand and couldn't fight off the way your face twisted in disgust.

"Dude, what is in there?" You took the cup out of Pope's hand, which was relatively easy, he wasn't all there with his hand anyways.

Pope drew his eyebrows together and pulled his lips into a pout.

"I was drinking that," He complained. You shook your finger in front of his face.

"I think you've had enough, honestly."

"Give that-" Pope burst forward and grabbed for your hand holding the drink, but you pulled it out of his reach just at the right time and raised your hand in the air the highest you could.

Additionally, you raised yourself on the tips of your toes.

Pope tried to stretch himself, but it didn't budge, so he shorthandedly pressed his thumb into the crook of your elbow hard, forcing you to bend your arm down.

Your friend let out a victorious laugh as he reached for the cup that was now almost on eye-level with him, when you made a not thought-through decision on the spot, raised the cup to your lips and downed its contents in one sip.

The liquid went down your throat like cold fire.

Your entire inside squirmed, and your face twisted into a grimace of pure disgust.

"Hey!" Pope threw his hands in the air.

"You're drinking, man! You're having funnnn!"

You wouldn't have put it like that, maybe. But when Pope grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you with him, through the crowds of people and to the shining neon letters that said MINI BAR, you just followed him.

You were having fun. It was almost an hour later, or maybe two, might have just been a half, you didn't really know. Or care.

The solo cup you were sipping held your fourth drink tonight, or your sixth, or your third, you had absolutely no idea.

All you knew was that it burned in your throat like any good liquor should, and that it made you feel good in a way you hadn't felt for weeks now.

The way you weren't quite in full control of your limbs was a side effect you chose to ignore.

The air was vibrating. All colors were more saturated than the first time you came in, they flickered behind your eyelids even when you weren't looking.

Hot bodies of multiple people crowded together, somewhere a table was playing beer pong, while the music roared through your blood stream and pushed arenaline with it.

It felt good. You felt good.

Why hadn't you done this much sooner, Pope was right. And alcohol was great. Like, actually.

The tunes drew you in. Masses of people, it felt, were moving in the same way, all together.

You closed your eyes, and just let it go.

No thinking about the right way to move your lips, the sweat slowly dripping down the back of your neck, or how the alcohol in the cup wasn't quenching your thirst, just worsening it.

It didn't matter. It was as if the music had manifested itself physically, and was moving all of your senses totally on its own.

You felt light, a feeling you had missed over the last few months.

Your chest was free, you could breathe.

The air was full of euphoria, it tasted of glee.

Suddenly, there was a sound that stood out, something that didn't fit the atmosphere.

You blinked your eyes open just the slightest bit.

There, just a few feet away from you, you made out a familiar arrangement of blond strands - some dark, others lightened by the burning sun out on the waves of the sea.

It was a magnetic pull, you couldn't do anything against it if you wanted to. You hadn't really been in posession of your own body since you had taken that drink from Pope.

"JJ!" You heard yourself call out.

Your friend turned around to you, and God, his eyes were beautiful. The string of colorful lights was perfectly illuminating the small streak of skin that was laid free beneath the unbuttoned top of his shirt, a brown one, lazily tucked into casual jeans.

He looked good.

And would you love to blame that thought on your currently dosed state.

So you did.

Your hand slapped on the place of his shoulder, just where his neck met his chest.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, loudly to overcome the sound of the music. "Thought you had plans."

JJ grinned. You mimicked it. Pope had once told you about the mirroring statistic with people one liked. You thought it was bullshit.

"Made a last minute change!" JJ yelled back, and even in your current condition you noticed how his gaze flickered, searching for something that wasn't you in the crowd of people.

"Me and Kie made a stop here before ending our date!"

You blinked.

“Huh?”

You were quite sure JJ repeated his same answer to you. But you didn’t really know, because your ears felt stuffed.

Me and Kie made a stop before ending our date.

Me and Kie. Our date.

You stumbled back.

John B had dunked your head in cold water once to sober you up. This was worse.

Your chest felt heavy, pressed together in a camp handle.

Your hand dropped from JJ's shoulder. He didn't notice. His eyes kept scanning the crowd.

You backed away. You needed space, just some way for your chest to expand and let air into your lungs.

Your back hit another wall of bodies. Everything was so tight around you.

The air didn't feel euphoric anymore, it felt stuffed, and thin, and heavy.

You needed to get out of here.

Stumbling, tumbling and tripping, eyes always focused downwards, you pushed past one person after the other.

You didn't know where you exactly were going, but when you reached a wall, there had to be a door somewhere too, right?

You got lucky. A tall boy was pushed into you and made you almost fall over, but the way you leaned into a different direction drew your attention to a large gate not too far away.

You gathered your last bit of lasting strength in your legs and pushed yourself out of the house, out of the stuffed room, into the cold air of the night, and the smell of sea salt rather than the salt of sweat.

You left the lights behind you. You just kept going. You needed to get some distance between you and that house.

You ran until you reached the shore; quite literally.

The hard wood of the dock creaked under every step you took further out, until you reached the ending.

Tied down ships were softly tuckering on the wooden stakes.

Rather laboriously, you leaned down to sit on the edge of the not fenced trail. You brushed some dirt off your palms, and hugged your knees to your chest.

Almost every last drop of drunkness you had felt just a few minutes earlier, had vanished.

There were no chattering voices around you, nor the hard bass of a remixed 2000's pop song. Just the small, almost not there, rush of the rustling waves.

An occasional drop signified fish swimming to the surface and diving down again.

Some frogs were quacking in the tall blades of grass.

You pressed your knees closer to your body.

Through your lungs, you inhaled the warm summer air. It would soon be morning.

Something directed your thoughts to the song 'Memory' from Cats.

"And soon it will be morning".

The background noise around you didn't change.

You hated how weary you felt, how heavy your heart. From one sentence, how your night was taken in one's hand, and crushed right in-between his fingers, without him even realizing the splinters digging into his palms.

You hated how much power you had given him over you, a man, a boy, who had no interest in you besides the one of a good friend, which was fine, you should be fine with that.

But for some reason, you weren't, in the same way that you weren't altruistic, and not a girl with dark hair and curls and tan skin, the way that you just weren't Kiara Carrera.

Who were you to blame JJ for the way you couldn't grow up and grow out of your feelings.

"Touch me, it's so easy to leave me".

A soft creak behind you caught your attention.

You didn't turn around.

There was no danger to be expected from the people on the Cut. Not that you knew of.

You told yourself that was the reason you stayed.

Not the fact that you didn't care, if the approaching footsteps were danger or not.

A body, clad in a dark brown shirt and jeans plopped down a few feet to your right.

You almost retched when the smell of distinct perfume reached your nose.

"What happened, man?" JJ asked loudly. "You just ... left, back there. We didn't know where you were." He chuckled. You could hear it in his voice, the way he was still rest-drunk. "Thought you found yourself a nice lady and decided we weren't enough fun, if you know what I mean."

You stayed silent.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw JJ looking at your side.

You heard him sigh.

"Man, I'm serious. If something's wrong, you can talk to me. I'm always there for you, you know that."

You bit the inside of your cheek.

Was it fair to let him fidget, like a fish on a rod? As far as you knew, JJ hadn't done anything wrong, not actively.

You stared out the sea.

"I don't like you with Kiara." Your voice was raw and rough. You slightly cleared your throat.

The light breeze made the reeds rustle in a whisper.

JJ sighed and rubbed a hand over his face frantically.

"I know, man," He murmured. "No pogue on pogue macking, I get it. I broke the rule."

You hummed. Behind the horizon, the sky colored brighter.

"Maybe it's that, yeah." You still didn't turn your head.

The night ended and greeted the day, the blood rushing through your ears drowning out any other noise around you.

You pushed down the shiver that threatened to shake your body when the wind picked up.

“But maybe it’s just because I am so terrifyingly in love with you.”

Behind the reeds and over the smooth water, the sun rose slowly above the Banks, a burning orange flare of light.

“I believe in love and lust and sex and romance. I don't want everything to add up to some perfect equation. I want mess and chaos. I want someone to go crazy out of his mind for me. I want to feel passion and heat and sweat and madness. I want valenties and cupids and all of that crap. I WANT IT ALL” ― Barbra Streisand

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