#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Little pieces here and there (3)
Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)
Chapters: one, two, four, five
Word Count: around 2K again.
Warnings: minimum context of the arlong park part of the story (background), MUTUAL FLIRTING, forbiden pinning of them both, Buggy has his body back *wiggling eyebrows*, sexy times
A/N: devil works hard but i'm working harder, every 5 free min i have from work/class/practices i'm writing on my phone, i'ts actually insane and i love it (ROAD TO CHAPTER 4?? If you like this one and want the next one, please let me know!)
Oh, he was mad. He was really mad.
Maybe "sexually frustrated" was a way more accurate term given the circumstances but the feeling was so strong, so visceral, he was sure he was reaching a point where jumping to the sea to end that agony -even if a bit exaggerated, like him always, everywhere and for everything- was justified.
Somewhere in Arlong Park, Buggy could feel the boner pressing his pants, demanding to be satisfied; dirty talk was one of his true passions and when (Y/N) played that card on him, being capable of picturing himself with her on his lap, that damn woman so -actually- close to his face in that moment he was already tasting her lips, her low, smooth voice driving him insane, he could not help it, but get turned on so easily and so strong is been hours, and he's still mad, incapable of stop thinking about that.
That is, perhaps, the reason he feels relief as soon as the sun rises and Usopp is back on the helm again, asking for directions as Buggy, in fact, demands to go faster. Like instead of slicing and dicing his body, his power could control the wind that propelled the boat or the force of the waves against the hull.
(Y/N) ran away just after such a -even if brief- conversation. She may have broken his balls with that dirty trick, but she was equally a victim of her own game. She knew what to say to push Buggy and leave him so stunned -to speak- that the poor clown didn't have the chance to fight back at that moment, not without his body to help him keep her in that kitchen, lift her up on the counter, force her to back down, regret even thinking she could do that to him, and then, only then, yes, fuck her until she wakes up the rest of her little and - according to him - pathetic crew with her moans.
Or so the girl imagined, leaning against the door of her room, eyes closed, heart slightly racing, fighting the temptation to lie down on the bed and masturbate thinking about what had just happened.
Which included him. Him!! What the hell, was she actually losing her mind? All that damn flirting had really gotten into her, for fucks sake, because regardless of her finding him quite interesting when they met, this attraction was something else.
Lately everything around her was something else. Did she really think through the decision of leaving her mercenary life behind and follow those kids to the Grand Line? Did she really think through the decision of flirting back with a psychopath clown?
Because in the end it's just that, right? Flirting. Was nothing else, is nothing else, and will be nothing else. She doesn’t want it to be something more, that's for sure; there's no need for unnecessary complications and extra headaches. In the meantime, it's fun, a bit of a backfire kind of situation, a bit -sexually- frustrating, but fun.
After a good ol' resting night and already some hours into the new day, (Y/N) notices that it's been a lot, since their encounter in the kitchen to be precise, that Buggy not only doesn't flirt with her, but doesn't talk that much or even look at her as amazed as before. Of course, he is, also, way less annoying, which Zoro subtly points out clearly pleased with how calm, nice and silent this morning is.
At some point she shakes her head, knowing, or at least guessing, the reason for this behavior, so she decides to check no one's around and the rudder is locked in the right direction, and then goes to where the bag with his head is, closed probably by the sniper when he got the last indications he needed from him. She opens it, lowering it until the clown's head is free on top of that barrel.
"How are you doing, Bugs?" she starts with a funny little smile, looking intently at him as she leans her back forward to leave her face level with his. "It's been hours I don't hear your raspy voice, I'm starting to miss it."
Silence. Absolute indifference besides the sidelong glance he gives her because let's face it, Buggy is annoyingly proud, extremely, exaggeratedly, but he loves attention. He likes nothing more than receiving it, no matter where, when, and from who, and she could see it as soon as they met.
"Also your silly nicknames for me" She grants, giving in. She would also be mad as hell if someone leaves her as horny as she knew she left him, so she doesn't have any problem being the one to start the tug-war this time.
"Already tired of the shidiots?" He finally asks, almost drily, after a minute; now he is the one to play difficult, huh? "No wonder, they don't even know where to start being pirates."
"Oh, of course, because no one compares to the famous Buggy The Clown, the colorful nightmare or the East Blue." Playful, she retreats a bit, resting her hip in the barrel, arms crossed over her chest.
"Quit the sarcasm doll, you know I'm right." Well, he was, in fact, right. None of them had real experience in the whole i-wanna-become-a-pirate thing, still, they were doing pretty good to be newbies. She was quite proud of them.
"I cannot wait to have my body back" he then murmurs, adding before she could say anything else about her new friends. "To do what?" She asks, you know, like she didn't know.
"Take a guess"
"Recover your spotlight? Find a new crew and a way to enter the Grand Line to go search the One Piece and be the king of the pirates?" (Y/N) mocks, clearly enjoying being the annoying one this time.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah'' Buggy rolls his eyes, scoffing. ''All that, but not before making you regret what you did last night." To that accusation she gasps, resting her right hand over her chest "What did I do last night?"
The clown falls silent again, but his mood is completely different. Right now he's not pissed off, it's obvious that this time, instead of flirting with her in a casual and natural way, he’s thinking what to say, choosing carefully his words to return a fraction of the effect she had on him hours ago.
His eyes darken, and his voice goes octanes lower and raspier. "Sweetheart, there will be no possible escape from what I plan to do with you. At the slightest opportunity I will make you cum on me so many times you will be the one to find the One Piece without needing to go to the Grand Line, but first…'' He pauses, breathes, and lets it go calmly, like the intimidating, psychopathic calculator she saw at the circus and not that flirty cartoonish version she got to know on the ship. ''you will beg for it."
She knows she shouldn't surrender to this type of tease, but she also can't and doesn't want to avoid it. Getting heavily carried away, without thinking about it twice, one of the girl's hands slides to the back of his neck, slipping under the bandana, and tugs his hair aggressively as she leans in again to speak close to his face. He grunts in pure satisfaction, closing his eyes for a second. Of course (Y/N) is, once again, taking advantage of the fact that he cannot defend himself no being more than a head, and the fact is that he enjoys like a condemned bastard those small but intense gestures the girl has given him since they met at the circus.
He can't wait to break a woman like her. And oh, he will.
"Are you sure about that?" Hearing distant steps, someone from the crew coming out on deck and climbing the stairs, she gets some distance from him, acting naturally, closing the bag again around his head. "My expectations just skyrocketed, I hope you don't disappoint."
By the end of the day, the Konomi Islands begin to appear on the horizon, and as soon as they set foot on them, shits get really serious. The situation of the poor people who live there is heartbreaking, so for two days, no one dares to make a single joke, Luffy's usual energy and bubbly positivity is nowhere to be seen, and of course, the interactions of (Y/N) and Buggy are reduced to = 0. The clown's head is no longer of any real use to them, and it’s poor Sanji, the new recruit, who’s carrying it around just in case.
At least until they reach Arlong Park.
Again, (Y/N) is not exactly the type of mercenary expert in martial arts and although she knows how to defend herself, fighting like Zoro or Sanji is, in few words, impossible. Her only advantage is being very, very fast, and knowing how to use the scenery to her advantage, so it doesn't take long for her to hide here and there among the different tents and attractions in the area to get rid of the most straggler fishmen, with a knife she got long ago during one of her jobs, capable of cutting their tough skin easily.
Everything happens so fast and is so chaotic that apart from some screams and blows in the background and having seen Usopp running towards the forest, (Y/N) is completely unaware of what is happening in the main complex.
A strong pull on her left arm activates her flight or fight response as one last fish falls dead to the ground in front of her. Raising the knife, in a quick movement, she tries to defend herself by aiming at the stranger's neck, although in vain; a pair of lips whose red has already been worn for days impact against hers, stealing her breath, a small moan escaping her. Eyes wide open, she barely registers the blurry color of Buggy's nose when two strong hands squeeze her hips as if the life of the clown depended on it, pushing the girl against the wall of the building behind them, cornering her without any type of delicacy.
She hadn't heard from him since they reached the island. Hell, she didn't even know he had got his full body back and was already so close to it that air was unable to pass between each other.
Of course, the moment the clown's head joined the rest of himself -the feeling much better than he remembered- he fucked off his captors and decided to flee. Not before making a vital stop along the way.
The ideas about how to proceed with her once he was whole were very, very different in his wild fantasies, but when he saw the girl's back, he knew that the only thing that would -partially- calm his yearning would be to kiss her before disappearing as fast as possible. To taste her lips, to feel her warmth.
Still not recovered from the shock of the kiss, Y/N doesn't remove the knife from the clown's neck, but he couldn't care less; quite the opposite. He is so turned on and waited so much -again, exaggerated- for this he doesn't know yet how he will be able to break the kiss, take distance from her, and run away.
Passionately carried away, moved by his most primitive instincts, Buggy sneaks one of his legs between hers, pressing in between them as Y/N inhales through her nose and her free hand flies to his vest, pulling it a little.
It wasn't the time, nor the place, to think about fucking that asshole, but damn, after all the teasing and the tension and the adrenaline of the fight--
And just when she starts fully giving in to him, he retreats just enough, panting a bit, and looks at her now red, stained lips, eyes darkened and full of lust. Just like hers.
"Hate to leave you like this sweetheart but I have things to do and places to go. I don't want people relating me to Arlong, I would hate the bad press on my persona." He whispers, cracking his usual cruel, playful smirk when he finally puts some distance between each other.
‘’It's time to exit stage left.’’ Buggy adds, theatrically raising both hands in the air. ‘’I promise I’ll see you around.’’
And like this, he stars running away again. Where? She doesn't know, or even guess at this moment, too busy registering the kiss in her memory, the way his lips felt on hers, how his nose pressed her cheek the entire time, or his hands grabbed onto her for dear life.
Bastard.
''You better'', she whispers to herself.
#buggy x reader#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#buggy the clown fanfiction#buggy x you#op buggy#one piece live action#one piece x reader#captain buggy
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Tarot readings with the lads!
Leo
You've somehow convinced him to let you do a tarot reading for him
you're still not sure how, maybe the mixture of puppy dog eyes and veiled threats combined?
anyways, you ask him what question he has
"I want to know how to be a better leader"
but that isn't *fun* so you pick a different one for him
you shuffle the cards with your intention of "What is Leo lacking that he should focus on more right now?"
you pull out the 6 of cups
Leo looks at you like "Is that good?"
you explain the card
"You see the way they're handing the cup to a child? This card is all about revisiting the past, childhood memories and innocence. It's about simple joys and pleasures also cups represents the element of water, to be free flowing and not so confined"
"And this helps me be a better leader how...?"
you smile and tell him that's not what you asked
"Leo, the cards are telling you to relax a little, spend some time with yourself and not so much worrying about the fate of the world. Be present, find that child in you who wants to do dumb, fun shit!"
he doesn't say anything but he thinks on it
"Anyway the next card was temperance so that's basically saying if you don't listen to me you're never gonna find balance...."
Raph
Yeah there was no way he was going to let you do a reading
you had to trick him into sitting down but once he saw the cards he tried to leave
you swayed him and his only request was "Just don't ask when I'm gonna die or some shit, ok?"
instead you do a reality check for him and you pull out 3 cards
The star, 4 of swords and 5 of wands reversed
"oh, baby.." you start
he's so worried
frantically asking what any of that means, so you break it down for him
"the star's message is: have faith. Hope, faith and purpose basically. You need to understand that you're doing alright, no matter how much you beat yourself up. 4 of swords is about rest and relaxation, taking a break. You work yourself too hard out on patrol, then come back here and hit the gym, then you barely sleep and do it all over again. You;re burning yourself out. Finally, 5 of wands. Reversed it talks about inner conflict, self doubt and tension. Whatever you're battling with, you need to face it and let it out"
"well shit, I didn't expect your cards to fucking call me out like that..."
you're just like "It's what they do..."
he opens up to you a little more after that and takes a bit more time for himself.
Who would have though Raph's healing journey woulod begin with a witch telling him to get his shit together?
Mikey
He's been begging you for weeks to pull some cards for him
and he wants to know everything!
like everything, even the scary stuff
you finally give in and he can barely sit still he's so pumped when you pull the cards out
you ask what energy he brings into other's lives
the lovers, page of wands and 6 of swords
"what does it mean?!"
"well, the lovers is obvious. You bring a lot of love to the people in your life. You're the heart of your brother's. That's self explanatory"
"Awh, your cards like me" he's getting cocky now
"the page of wands is about being a free spirit, inspiration, ideas and limitless potential. Basically you keep everyone entertained with your never stopping pin balls machine of a brain"
"I am the ideas man of my brothers"
you let that one slide, no need to remind him of the time his "idea" to defeat the foot clan involved gummy worms....he was thinking with his stomach.
"And the 6 of swords is about transition and change, a right of passage, release like releasing baggage. I think this one's saying you haven't met your full potential of how you can help people yet, but you are destined to help people"
"wow. Really? Damn you're good"
you take the compliment, you are good at this.
Donnie
it's not that Donnie doesn't want a reading or find it interesting
it's that he just doesn't believe you can tell him anything new...
so you pull out a few cards on his behalf anyways
just to tell him a little more about himself that he doesn't realise
10 of wands reversed, strength and 3 of swords reversed
you follow him around for like 10 minutes after explaining the cards
while he's doing the dishes you're all "so the 10 of wands reversed is about doing it all and carrying a burden that you need to release it can also be defined as stubbornness!Come on, Donnie, that's so you. When you aren't working on whatever Leo gave you in the lab you;re spotting Raph in the gym or you're indulging Mikey is one of his fantasies, you need to stop carrying your brothers wants with you and live for you!"
He's trying to get his bunsen burner to work and you talk about "strength is basically the message believe in yourself.but it's also about compassion. You have so much of that that you never give to yourself!"
finally he turns to face you "And the last card?"
"3 of swords reversed is the most important. It's about negative self talk and releasing pain and forgiving yourself. I know you think you hide it well, but I can tell you beat yourself up over every little thing. You need to stop that"
He takes a minute to think
"Ok, maybe there is something to these cards, or maybe you're just interpreting them that way because you know me. Either way...Thank you. This was helpful"
#witch series#witch s/o#witch so#tmnt#tmnt x reader#tarot#tarot cards#tmnt h/c#tmnt hcs#tmnt h/cs#tmnt headcannons
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Hits Different | Bob Floyd x Reader
word count: 1648
warnings / notes: Fluff, emetophobia, and drinking. This is my first “imagine” so please excuse my writing style. Still trying to find my comfort zone.
song pairing: Hits Different - Taylor Swift
Hope you enjoy!
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth as you bit the side of your cheek. Maverick had just told Phoenix and Bob to eject due to a bird strike. Rooster hurried out of the control room as you and the team watched the jet burst into flames. Old memories surely coming back up to the surface.
The corridor seemed endless as you made your way to the infirmary. Armed with determination to tell Bob how you felt after watching him almost die. This couldn’t wait any longer, 6 months was enough. Wiping the sweat off your forehead you stopped in front of the door. Maybe this could wait.
But then you heard it. Surely your mind was playing tricks on you but still you braved to look through the small window on the infirmary door. You felt you were going to be sick as you ran out of the side door and threw up on the street as the image of Bob and Phoenix kissing replayed in your mind.
“You alright there, Peach?” Hangman’s voice bringing you back to the present. You wanted to say yes so he would go away but no words came out. “Let’s get you out of here” he says, as he leads you to his truck. Any other time you would’ve bickered with him but not now.
“Want to talk about it?”
“I saw Bob and Phoenix kissing in the infirmary.” you murmur, avoiding any eye contact. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I take it you didn’t tell him then”, you nod in response.
As he pulled into the hard deck, confusion filled your face. “Figured you needed a drink” he offered and right then you were for once grateful for Jake.
They say that if it's right, you know, Each bar plays our song
Nothing has ever felt so wrong
Settling down in your usual spot, Penny spots you and slides a beer in front of you. You were grateful that she didn’t pry and could sense you didn't want to talk about it.
You were lost in your thoughts as Hangman flirted with the new bartender Penny hired until Come on Eileen started playing on the jukebox.
“Please dance with me Bobby” you begged after having a little too much to drink. His ears turned a light pink as all eyes were on him. “Come on, it's rude to leave a lady hangin” exclaimed Hangman from the pool table.
Bob nodded and let you lead him to the makeshift dance floor. His eyes never leaving you as you spun around. “See, this is fun!” you whispered in his ear as the song slowed down. “You look beautiful, Peach” he quickly spluttered as he spun you around once again, not giving you a chance to answer.
That night as he turned to leave after walking you to your doorstep, you let the courage from the alcohol take over.You stuttered “Wait! Bobby, wait!” and as he turned around you pulled him in for a kiss.
“I wish you were sober,” he murmured, as he pulled away. Quickly walking away to his car.
But that was 3 months ago and the next day at work Bob avoided you like the plague. Jake assured you that Bob was just taken back and probably thought you didn’t remember as you’d had a lot to drink. The song continued playing as you headed to the bathroom. It couldn’t feel more wrong.
Saying a quick goodbye to Jake, you headed outside. Your house wasn’t that far from the Hard deck so walking wasn’t an issue. “Hope you are okay” read the text that you sent both Bob and Phoenix. Guilt from not checking on them filled you but you couldn’t do it, not now.
As you showered that night, you decided you’d check on them tomorrow since Rooster texted they were being held overnight for observation at the hospital.
_ _
Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings
As you ran that morning on the beach you let yourself cry. Cursing yourself for being so hung up on a man that probably never really knew that you liked him and that you ran away instead of checking on him and your team mate.
The drive to the hospital was short. Still in your workout gear since you couldn’t wait anymore or else you’d end up talking yourself out of it. “I’m here to see Natasha Trace and Robert Floyd” you told the nurse at check in. “They are in room 105” she replied, motioning you towards the automatic doors that opened as she pressed the button. You smiled at her gratefully, heading towards the room.
Knocking on the door you could hardly hear the “come in” over your heart pounding loudly in your chest. “Hey guys, sorry I didn’t make it in sooner.” you whispered as you slid into the chair in the corner. “It's okay, are you feeling okay? Hangman said you got sick after our accident.” Nat said as she looked at you with concern.
“Yes! Don’t worry about me. Are you guys okay!? You were the ones in the accident”
“We’re okay, just a little shaken up.” murmured Bob, his eyes not meeting yours. “It’s not everyday you almost die due to a dumb bird, I’ll say that.” added Nat with a chuckle. All of you nodding in agreement.
Standing up you hugged Natasha and patted Bob on the shoulder, “I should let you guys rest. I’m happy to see you’re both okay.”
“Thank you for checking on us” remarked Nat, Bob nodding in agreement.
“Absolutely, please call me if y’all need anything”
“Will do” responded Bob. Those catastrophic blue eyes watching you leave until you shut the door behind you.
Catastrophic blues
Movin' on was always easy for me to do
That night you opted for going to the Hard Deck since Bob and Nat had been released from the hospital not long after you left and everyone wanted to celebrate. Your light green dress paired with white heels made you feel a little better about your appearance. You looked in the mirror one last time and headed out as your uber had just pulled in.
The bar was packed as it was a Saturday night. A sea of khaki was surrounding the bar so you opted for grabbing a drink later in the night. The dagger squad was already in their usual spot by the pool table. Bob however was not in his usual spot next to Nat and instead she was sitting with Rooster on the piano.
“Peach! Come help me show these suckers how it's done.” yelled Fanboy from the pool table. Reluctantly you headed their way as you noticed he was playing against Bob and Payback. “Alright boys, I’ll show you how it’s done.”
10 minutes later you and Fanboy were enjoying your free drinks that were won from beating Bob and Payback. Rooster had also pitched in with shots. The drinks quickly adding up. Dancing with the handsome stranger who kept looking your way seemed like a good idea. But as he went in for a kiss all you could see was Bob shaking his head at you and your actions.
Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief
In the good in the world, you once believed in me
You excused yourself to the bathroom and splashed your face with water. Surely Bob’s disappointed look was caused by your imagination and drunken state but as you came back to the pool table, he was nowhere to be found.
“Peach, can we talk?” offered Nat, leading you towards the exit. The cool night breeze making you shiver. “Look, I talked to Hangman and I know what you saw. It’s all a misunderstanding.”
“No, no, Nat. Its okay. I should’ve knocked” you shrug, trying to keep yourself from throwing up again as the image replayed in your head. “Peach, I’m serious. It was just the adrenaline. I like Rooster not Bob” her voice was soft as she looked at you waiting on a response. “Oh” you whispered in response as you waited on the uber she called you.
Bob’s car stopped in front of both of you as if on cue. Nat urged you to get in as you complained that she lied about the uber. The silence felt deafening as he drove up to your house and it was enough to make you sober up.
I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway
Is that your key in the door?
“Here, I got it” Bob grabbed your keys and unlocked your door as your shaky hands prevented you from being able to. “Thank you” you whispered as he walked towards your kitchen and poured you a glass of water. “Here, I should probably go” he said as he handed you the glass and headed for the door. “No, please wait” the urgency in your voice stopping him before he reached the door.
“I, I like you Bob. I have since we met and you avoided me after we kissed so I thought you didn’t like me and then I saw you kissing Nat and-” your rambling was cut short as he grabbed your face and kissed you.
“I like you too, I’m sorry I avoided you, I figured you only kissed me because you were drunk. I mean how could you like me? I’m nothing special” he said swallowing hard, staring into your eyes as he waited on your response. “Oh shut it, now come here you idiot” you responded, pulling him in for a kiss while mentally thanking Jake for telling Nat. You smiled at Bob as you both pulled away. Thankful that things worked out this time.
It hits different (it hits different)
It hits different this time
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the party + social media headcanons
mike would be a twitch streamer. certified #gaymer that'll play pretty much anything. malds real fucking bad (but not in a serious, toxic way just in a funny he's a sore loser that gets dunked on way) and gets baited by his chat all the time. definitely had a moment like this and when disaster struck he just immediately ended the fucking stream lmao. he let his chat bully him into the heart rate monitor challenge exactly one time and never again because they wouldn't stop teasing him over how it went up whenever will teased him during a multi-player game. he plays with the party a lot, but people are always asking will and max to come on because they loooove will and love how max roasts the shit out of him. will drew/made his subscriber emotes ofc. on his just chatting days they'll rank things, discuss the latest star wars hot topic, or talk about movies and the art of storytelling.
dustin mostly posts on youtube. he makes videos showcasing his peculiar inventions, some of which are actually really cool engineering feats and others are more like that of the "unnecessary inventions" guy's work. he's always super happy and excited about whatever he's doing and it's really contagious. he always explains everything thoroughly and titles his videos like so: SUPER COOL TITLE HERE (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT!). he includes a blooper reel at the end with the jokes that (rightfully) didn't make the cut.
will is an art (+gaming ofc) streamer! he streams himself drawing on twitch and it's really laid back. he'll be working away while the chat-created playlist plays in the background, looking up intermittently to see what people are saying. people like to donate or use their points to say silly things / use any of the sound effects to get his attention. he uses the Good, Professional footage to make a timelapsed video for his youtube, because twitch is just for chilling. stream titles are something like "draw with me!", "boys night", "it's a paint kind of day", or "parallel play? on MY stream? it's more likely than you think". mike hangs around a lot and el lurks. he always says hi to people and tries to answer as many of his chatters as he can. when he games he LOVES to play horror games in the dark, especially the shitty ones. he gets lots of views on those. but he plays mostly anything, too! like nintendo speedruns or he'll play smash with his viewers. he also vlogs sometimes for his youtube. just amasses little clips throughout the week or month or whatever and tosses them together for fun and to work on his more creative editing skills. he goes through his banned list on twitch and lets the community decide if they get unbanned or not like it's a court trial or something lmao.
lucas is an instagram baddie. he doesn't even try to be one, he just is. gets hella fucking likes and comments including these emojis: 😳🫠😍🔥. writes really sweet captions. makes stupid fucking bank on ads and promos. likes to post really embarrassing zoomed-in pictures of mike and dustin on his story when they hang out, then one of himself to even it out. you already Know he's got hella selfies with max and candid shots of her<3. he and will do cute poses whenever they snap a pic together, and there's a really cute snap of lucas and the twins where their cheeks are all squished together n they're cheesin' real hard (it was them out and about downtown). has a video where he makes a shot with his back turned and the entire party's going crazy cheering, shaking him, screaming, etc etc.
max would explode my head with her mind if she heard me say this, but she's also an instagram user. she posts lots of videos of her skating. she'll post her landing a new trick and then the 3984039 times she wiped out beforehand. also takes pics of her favorite tagger's (zombie boy) work. posts selfies where she's all scraped up after wiping out or where she's got a hello kitty band-aid on her face (courtesy of el, of course). a lot of her pictures are more artsy, like instead of taking a selfie, she'll take a picture of your shoes side by side, blurry candids of whoever she's hanging out with, or pictures of places she's been. doesn't always caption them, because she likes to be mysterious. replies to the party's comments and not very many other people's.
el is mostly the girl behind the camera. she takes a lot of max's videos and pictures, helps will set up his camera when he's doing a rare tutorial, and helps mike decide which picture to use whenever he posts something. still, she does her own thing, too! she loves to post her crafts on instagram and twitter. she makes jewelry and trinkets to sell on etsy. always takes pictures of her food, her good outfits, and herself. :) her instagram has a theme and she posts updates on twitter. she always likes the party's posts and comments on them. if she's lurking on someone's stream, she'll take a picture of her screen and text it to them with a random emoji. she also posts a lot of pictures of her friends with captions so sweet they'll make your teeth rot. she likes to take the party's phones and sneak a silly selfie of herself and never tell them about it lmao. takes a super zoomed in picture of you when you're not looking and texts it to you with "hi :)" attached.
byler-specific headcanons
will and mike are always on the same team if they can be.
they fucking DOMINATE at codenames, but e|max did sweep the floor with them in two rounds once which they claim was bc of cheating.
they also play lots of minecraft (yes they put their beds next to each other n share loot thank u) (and by "share loot" i mean mike drops cool shit for will and will drops bread n meat whenever mike is getting his ass handed to him). sometimes will walks up to him and mike pauses what he's doing to turn around and will just whacks him before running away or digging a hole beneath himself. will never drops anything valuable for him because every single time he's done it, mike goes and dies in the most stupid way possible right after lmao.
mike is one of will's mods and he'll ban anyone for anything.
will is one of mike's mods, too. sometimes he comes to mike's defense when ppl are clowning him, but other times he'll just make it worse by sharing an embarrassing anecdote<3 LMAO
if will is streaming, mike always chooses to raid him and it makes will smile and blush every time.
mike hates backseat gamers and it's a bannable offense for everyone except will ofc, who is coincidentally one of the worst backseat gamers of all time lmao.
will roasts mike's taste whenever he's ranking movies on stream. they get into it but come to an eventual compromise over star wars. will tells him he's hopeless n mike is trying to respond but the chat is going crazy with sound effects and spamming L in the chat which makes mike pretend to end the stream by putting his "thank you for watching" title card up on screen lmaoooo
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Sup! Can you write about the shenanigans Sam and Shane (once he becomes more sociable, aka post-6 heart event) have at Joja? Like, the pranks they pull on Morris, the ways they try to lose some time, etc? (Maybe you can drop in a chaotic farmer there too LMAO. I feel like they’d love to mess with the place, as sort of revenge from what they had to endure back in the city)
Sorry if I made it too specific 🙃
Sam and Shane Joja Shennanigans
I don't think anything can be too specific. :) And this is such a fun prompt, I'd love to do it. I hope you like it! <3
Sam does that thing where he moves everything an inch to the left. Poor (not poor) Morris is losing his mind because he can just swear things were different yesterday. Eventually Shane gets in on this two and moves half the furniture one inch to the right so now everything's even more confusing.
They mock Morris in the break room. I'm not sure if they even have one in canon, but they deserve one, so they do. Jodi can swear she heard Morris talking shit about himself in the storage room but was so puzzled when she saw him sitting at his desk.
They have a game of taking turns trying to move produce to the next aisle over. The farmer gets in on it too and starts distracting Morris so they can have an easier time.
The farmer tries to haggle with Morris constantly. It's starts getting to the point of them gaslighting the man into giving them canned beans for 10g. They teach Sam and Shane these tricks and now they're coming home with two bags of frozen pizza for only 50g.
Shane just, leaves fruit on Morris' desk. He'll come in extra early and just puts a banana in his pen cup. Morris knows it's him but can't fire him over it because he's never caught him in the act. He tried to install security cameras, but the farmer (with Maru's help) changed all the footage to Jas and Vincent. Morris can't do anything about it because he knows if he snaps at these kids, he'll have his head on a stick.
I don't know if anyone remembers, but there's an episode of The Office where Jim puts all Dwight's supplies in jelly/Jell-O. Shane does that. The farmer supplies him with jelly and man just shoves Morris' stapler into it, so it gets into all the little compartments and makes it unusable.
Sam and Shane have rock concerts at the back of the store. Sam uses his broom like a microphone and Shane has his air guitar. Sometimes the farmer joins them and whips out a harp.
I feel like the cashier (who I thought was Leah at first) just watches everything. They probably haven't slept in twelve hours and have to have a house outside of the town, so they honestly don't care anymore. #justiceforjojacashier
The farmer complains to Morris every day. They take time out of their busy schedule just to annoy that little shit. "Oh, woe is me, my pigs got out again :(((((((((" Morris is about to lose it. Sam is trying to hold in his laughter as this ex-employee goes on and on about taxes (that they don't have), caring for all these poor animals, risking their precious life to help the sad, poor townies and oh how sweet they are for doing all this work with such little reward. How all they want is just a simple 'thank you' for their efforts and for someone to just appreciate them. :(((
Sam nearly got fired once because he used olive oil like hair gel. The farmer came running in screaming that Morris was coming and sweet Yoba you better stop what you're doing Right Now. Shane dragged that young man outside and drowned him in the river. He still looked really greasy for the rest of the day.
The farmer likes to come in with seeds from Pierre and loudly exclaim how cheap and high quality they are. I mean, if Morris wants to come into Pierre's with 50% off coupons, he should expect payback. Sam and Shane start advertising Pierre's too in an attempt to drive Joja out.
-~-~-
This was so fun to write! I love the chaotic farmer and tired Joja workers duo. I hope you like it anon and thank you for the ask. Remember to drink water and get sleep. <3
#sdv#stardew valley#sdv headcanons#stardew valley headcanons#sdv shane#stardew valley shane#sdv sam#stardew valley sam#sdv farmer#stardew valley farmer#ieatsmallorphansnamedtom
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this is the 'vamp scar and hunter grian dancing' anon, here today because I was thinking about how these two could show how they trust each other. Done in a way of 'I see want you do, so here's how I return it' type of deal.
~~~~
For Scar, he wouldn't bring up how he can tell when Grian has their cross and stake on them when they're together. The outline of a hidden stake under clothing is pretty obvious, and he sometimes gets burned by the cross when he hugs them. But he doesn't bring it up. He knows why Grian has their weapons on them, and just hopes one day their friendship/relationship grows to a point where Grian feels like they don't need to be so guarded around him.
Which could lead to Grian not taking as many stakes, or any at all, when they know their going to be around Scar. It would probably take Scar a bit to realize, but when he does his counting of the outlines, he is very puzzled at first when there's not as many. He counts again, gets the lesser number again, and tries his best not to have a huge stupid grin of his face.
~~~~
"Do you have something you want to say?"
"No, just looking at you."
"Well look less. I can feel your eye burning into the back of my skull and it's weird."
"I can quite literally tell it doesn't bother you. In fact, you seem to enjoy it~"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
"Make me."
~~~~
For Grian, he stops pushing Scar away whenever they get to close to his most vulnerable area, aka his neck. Scar touching his neck took some getting used to, as well as their face being right next to it, but he manages fine. Even if it goes against everything he's been taught. Scar never really tried to bite him during all the tricks they pulled on him, so maybe he can be okay with feeling Scar's cold presence near his neck.
Which could lead to Scar pressing soft kisses to area's close to Grian's neck. They started at the edge of his shoulders, and slowly inched closer and closer each time, but only kissing his neck during their really 'intimate' moments. And Grian never once felt Scar's fangs brush against his skin. He could almost forget they even had them, until he saw the overly long canines in their smile again.
~~~~
"I'm going to get asked so many questions when I check in tomorrow..."
"Just tell them what happened. That you had a really fun night and mayhaps got a little carried away."
"And what, tell them my hickeys are from you of all people? Uh, no thanks, I rather not lose my head."
"I didn't even say that. I didn't even think you would have been so bold to proudly display my work. How naughty you are~"
"You are going to be the death of me."
"I hope not. I want your heart beating as long as fate allows it to while we're together."
Yayayay you're back with more!! Gaaaah
Gods I love these.
I love Grian slowly keeping weapons away when they meet. Their trust building.. Grian finally meeting Scar with nothing. And Scar just over the moon- Hugging Grian so so tight, relishing in just having Grian nothing else
Grian trusting Scar enough to kiss his neck <3 give me some love makes hehehe poor Grian in the morning having to go to work trying to explain why he's got his neck covered up
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50 Days of HypnoKink - Day 16: Betrayal
Alignment: 60% Bottom, surprisingly enough. Though I'm in a Toppy mood so I'll focus on that end for the majority of the text.
"Your deep self is my accomplice."
I have never been able to get over the level of reaction that comes from programming someone to comply with their own downfall. I personally like to ensure my partners know this is happening when it happens.
For an example, let me set up a game that if my partner can avoid kissing me for 3 minutes then they will get a prize of some fashion. During the build-up I will tease them and taunt them with their desire to submit, how their unconscious mind desires my control and wants to use that strength to serve my victory, that every bit of resistance just weakens that resolve and it's so hard to fight me and the feeling of yearning within your own heart.
"You WANT to lose."
All the while piling on suggestions for feeling flustered, for feeling a magnetic pull to my lips, to a growing infatuation that spreads through every limb. To tease and tantalize until resisting feels like too much effort. Then, after all that, I just cheat and use a trigger that compels compliance. The trick is to make the treacherous part of your partner included in the struggle so when they are called out at the end it is an inevitability baked in from the start.
Likewise, the "I control your hand. Your hand wants to touch your forehead. Fight it all you want but your hand obeys and it wants to pull you deep" suggestion. Watching an awake partner fight against their own body and be unable to stop the outcome is just fun for me.
But now let's add other parties to the mix.
This is where the Bottom alignment comes in. There's something so fun about situations that involve 2 Bottoms vs a single Top where the submissive parties could get a little control in the situation if they could reliably stand firm and together, but they're having to fight their own desires and the fact that the person they are with is a potential sleeper agent ready to join the scene's oppressor. The majority of this flavor of play came from my World of Darkness days. Vampire and Changeling both have a lot of that "who can we trust?" Gameplay and Changeling especially has the flavor that any ally could be a potential accomplice of the one who you are running from.
Granted those flavors are particularly nasty, but the fun version would be two subs pinning down their hypnotist and trying to hold their mouth closed to prevent them from saying anything when the hypnotist starts humming and one of the two bottoms in the scene starts to get a little distant from the moment as the hummed tune pulls them back under the hypnotist's sway. Suddenly it's not 2 on 1, but 1 on 2.
That above is not actually one I've done, but it's an example of where my mind goes in this circumstance.
No for one betrayal I took part in, I have to add the final spice to the mix.
Amnesia play. (And a secret 4th thing)
For my Charmed Recap I described a time Sleepyhead and Daja conspired with myself to ensure one of my fantasies, being hypnotized during a flight, came true. We'll get to why that is a fantasy on another entry.
Fact is, we planned the negotiation of it prior to the event and set up the logistics of it to ensure the scene would happen as imagined. I divulged all of my interests, intrigues, wants and specifics and once all of that had been done, I allowed my memory to be blocked away thanks to a certain Silver Crystal.
The scene went off without a hitch and the best part of it was knowing the conspiracy included me. Like Quaid in Total Recall laughing through a video screen, I felt like my past self had worked with two of my partners to make my (in that moment) present self achieve one of her greatest desires.
There are some other fun things I like to do in this arena but they're a bit specific to certain relationships and I don't want to elaborate further.
Any which way. Betrayal is *lovely*.
---
Day 15: Mantras/Call & Response
FULL SCHEDULE MASTER POST
Day 17: Infatuation
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Domestic life with Kuroo <3
Kuroo Tetsuro x reader
just the kuroo series how i think their more domestic life would be and what they'd do in their free time
My List
Kuroo just can't help it, his hands are always somewhere on you. How could he not when you felt like the missing piece in his grand puzzle.
He can regonize you by just your step and breath. Blindfolded he could feel out your shape, your skin, your touch in a thousand, it's just how familiar you felt to him.
If someone asked him how tall you are all he knew is the exact spot you reach on his body, when you two hugged. How your waist feels in his hands, how your hand fitted in his.
He knows exactly in what position you sleep in, and he knows when you're comfortable or not. Kuroo doesn't even need to look at your face at night to know when you're having nightmare, all he needs to hear is your uneven breathing and feel your shaking body to know he needs to hold you thighter.
Where have you lost your keys again? Where is your misplaced phone? Kuroo would just smiles and laugh watching you struggle knowing well you always lose them in the same spots, may it be somewhere on the bed or in bathroom.
Every little quirk of yours he memorized by heart, it's just too easy to tease you when it comes to it "My little dummy, have you checked the laundry basket for you keys yet?"
Ah! And suddenly you remember throwing your hoodie with both key and wallet into the laundry bin at night when you came home late.
How is he always right? It's annoying.
Call him a simp, but you bring the sap out in him, oh the things he'd do to see you laugh and smile.
It's simple really, if he is walking home from work and passes by the flower shop, he will stop by every week picking up a flower or a whole banquet to bring home to you. It's cheesy he knows, but the smile it bought to your face the first time he did still hasn't left his mind. It started with flowers after his sister and grandmother told him to treat you right, to be a gentleman.
But Kuroo is still Kuroo, he did not stop at flowers and chocolate, whenever he is out he will pick up anything that reminds him of you. If he sees something that, he believes would make you happy, he is already reaching for his credit card.
He just remembers you talking about something you wanted and when he sees it, just know it will be yours the next moment. Kuroo has no qualms about it, it can even be a little more expensive, he doesn't mind too much, then it might be a Christmas or birthday, maybe even some random anniversary he made up on the spot to excuse his purchase.
His favorite things to bring him home are from the kids section, he loves bringing home random activities for you two to do for date night. Please don't be mad he bought Lego millennium falcon (7500 pieces), it can stand on you twos nightstand! It's a great investment! You two can spend HOURS building it together.
His apology is the Lego flower set to stand on your side of the nightstand and of course the cute Sakura frog tree.
Your boy gets super exited about those science/lab sets. It's just so much fun?!? He even shaped his crystal into a heart for you. So exited to explain you everything and reading the instructions adding his own funfacts. It's not dangerous at all but he forces you to wear the safety goggles because he thinks it's cute.
Stores them all in a huge box full of his experiments, they're full of neon lights, bouncy ball, crystals and who knows what that you two made together (with love as he calls it.)
On his workdesk is a little toy aquarium of sea monkeys and many other strange little somethings that you wouldn't want to touch at all.
You bet the bar of soap in your bathroom is self made with an really ugly cat, heart and your name on it. And that only happened because you called him out on buying so many unnecessary thing, so he bought home a scent and soap set. Maybe making the bath bombs and fragrance wasn't THAT bad.
Tricked him into cooking and cleaning the house with Clara Immerwahr convincing him it be great. After all there is a lot of science and physics happening in the kitchen!!
He enjoys lots of things when it comes to you.
It goes from simple things as watching you play games screaming and laughing, he doesn't even feel the need to be competitive when you're playing games like Mario party with Kenma and another friend. All he needs is to see is you collecting those stars screaming and yelling at Kenma. Animated for chaos he always feels like laughing and screaming along with you, until his competitive side does show up trying to beat you just to hear you laughing and screaming at him. Kuroo feels the happiest in these moments when he can share laugher with both you and his friends.
#kuroo tetsuro fanfiction#kuroo x reader#tetsurou kuroo x reader#kuroo x you#kuroo testuro#kuroo tetsuro x reader
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I just finished lesson learned and i have a few questions!
- does din truly love the reader? And will he actually learn to change his ways completely or will he always be a bit psychopathic?
- are they any hard limits that din wouldnt do to the reader?
- will they ever truly be happy? Like, how they talked about 😭 my heart aches for both of them
- is the feelings din have for ready truly just obsession or does he genuinily care for her and her well being?
- why DID the reader plan out that scheme at the end to trick din? He could have well changed without needing to go through that. Does he feel any remorse for tricking him? Does she fear what will happen if he were to ever find out? I fear what he'll do to willa and tex, AND the reader if he finds out. It would be, simply putting it, catastrophic
- is there a sequel in the works? 👀 i can say im definitely addicted to them, just as they are to each other
I just want them to be happy, to have the love they say they both crave 😭
Thank you so much for writing the fic, it was enjoyable the whole way through. Felt like a massive rollercoaster!
oh goodness okay let's see if I can answer these all!
I put it below the read more so it's not just a wall of text LOL! also obviously spoilers for those who haven't read LL!
1. I think it's important to ask what love is to Din. Because our definition of love might be very different than dark!din's. I can't really say if he's redeemable or not. That's all up to your personal perspective. I will say that Din does love our pretty little thief, but again, what does it mean to be loved by him? Food for thought ♡
2. I don't think Din wants to inflict heavy pain or anything that causes scars. Everything he does is either mental or is something that can be healed over time. So, hopefully that's a good answer even though it's a bit non-specific!
3. Who's to say they aren't happy now? I think they're very happy :) even if the foundation of that happiness is a fib, I don't believe that makes their happiness any less real!
4. Din cares about the reader deeply. It's about how deep does that care go? Is it obsession to take care of the person you love's needs? To Din, he gave reader everything he believed someone would need. I think it might be better to wonder if Din could ever stop caring for reader...because I think that is a fun thought experiment ~
5. Hmmm, well, if you read between the lines, I hinted that reader had been planning this for quite some time. It wasn't a random plot. It was intentional because reader saw how easily Din could fall into his old ways. She needed to do something that would push him to change completely and for her, this was the only solution. I think in her convo with Willa, we see that she has some regret. Willa doesn't (lol I love her) but reader definitely does. Oh, the fear is there but ignorance is bliss! Let's just ignore all the betrayal and focus on how happy they are :D
6. Yes, I have a sequel conceptualized. It's...a lot, though. It's dark, gritty and will take literally all my mental capacity to write 😂 yall don't even understand, LL took years off my life. The twists and turns 😵💫 gosh, I still think about how insane I was for writing 10k word chapters! Definitely will have to consider if I want to invest in long chapters like that again, wowie! But indeed, I do have an idea of where a sequel would go and honestly, it's quite a ride (at least it seems so in my head haha!)
Hope that answered everything you asked and hope I made you think of more questions hehe ;)
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Life lesson from my past, because I reblogged a post about people looking down on you for being your genuine self.
When I was young, I was probably "the weird kid." I was loud and obnoxious, trying to be funny and make everyone like me.
When I joined a karate class, I toned it down to be a good student and role model. But when I tried to be friendly with my peers, not many kids liked me, because of that "class-clown-itis" coming out lol. I always tried to be funny and loud, because I wanted to be noticed and liked. It didn't work. Until it worked on ONE girl, who became my best friend.
Fast forward, age 18, she, my one and ONLY true friend throughout my childhood, stopped attending karate and moved out of my neighborhood. So we stopped hanging out like we used to. I was lonely.
Back to trying to impress people. Instead of class clown, I graduated to "smarty pants." Carried myself as if I was a big shot, and had the answers to everything. I was teaching karate now, and so I had much more confidence. The confidence act worked, and I started dating a new guy at karate.
Kept up the act until I felt I was safe to start being genuine with him, and once I let my walls down, he didn't like the real me. He broke up with me after 3 months.
I can't be upset with him. Because he came in thinking I was confident and self sufficient. I wasn't. I was afraid. I was a people pleaser. I felt uncomfortable with some things he had no problems with. The personality that attracted him, my "agreeable and easygoing" personality, was a lie.
After he broke up with me, I decided "that's enough: I'm done caring if people think I'm "cool or fun." I'm done trying to trick people into liking me. I'm gonna be myself from the get-go. If I'm tired, I will act tired. If I'm bored, I will look bored. If I have an opinion, I will not lie and say I agree with yours instead. If I have convictions, I will act on them without permission from anyone."
"I will be loud when I am excited, even if people think that's annoying. I will be quiet when I am upset, even if people think that's rude. I will feel what I feel without fear, and people who like me will like me for my true self: I won't be able to question it, because I would never be acting as anyone BUT my true self."
Once I made that decision, I just so happened to reconnect with an old online friend. We decided to video chat for the very first time. For a split second, I was a bundle of nerves. "How do I act on a video call? What if there is a lull in conversation? What if he starts talking about something I know nothing about? I'll have to lie and say I understand, to seem relatable. What if he thinks I'm weird?"
Oh wait. He is supposed to be my friend. So no matter how I carry myself, he will enjoy my company. And if he does not, then we are not compatible friends. And so, I was not afraid. And it was the easiest video call ever. Because I was being held to 0 expectations.
Being my true self allowed this friend to grow into my BEST friend. And once we were best friends, he really saw me for who I really am. And would you believe it, it was enough to make him fall in love with me.
December 2023 will mark 8 years of dating, and March was 12 years of friendship. Not to mention the other genuine online friends I've made since age 18: Girls I love with all my heart, and who love me and accept me, even when I'm weird or loud or quiet or boisterous AND in a far away state lol.
I just wanted to rant about my little life story because TRUE confidence is something I feel so strongly about. Once you let go of your prideful attitude that demands acceptance from everyone you cross paths with, you are free to make genuine connections. You no longer have fear, because what HAVE I to fear? Rejection? That's a blessing. Please, reject me now, to save me the trouble once I also discover we are not compatible.
I wish true confidence to everyone! Be humble: know that you are not perfect for everyone. So don't carry yourself in a way that is trying to be perfect for everyone.
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Idia and Floyd Poly Selfship
——————————————————————————
The room was lit up by blue LED lights. The sound of keyboards clicking and beeping were heard in Idia’s room as his pretty yellow eyes laser focused on the coding in front of him.
The door in his room creaks open but he doesn’t even hear it. Noise canceling headphone over his ears. He grumbles out nonsense and she can hear angry typing noises as one of his codes fails to work.
The tips of his hair turn a bright orange as he curses at the monitors on his desk, completely unaware about your approaching figure. His fingers skillfully typed on the keyboard and his hair eventually turned back into a lovely shade of light and dark blue.
Her arms wrapped around his neck as he let out a small squeak. He tensed up and then relaxed himself when he realized it was just her. He mumbles out a few words as the tips of his hair go pink. His cheeks feel warm when she leaned her head against it.
“You gotta stop doing that..” Idia said in a hushed voice.
It was 12:34 am. Way past her and his bedtime. Did she walk from Ramshackle Dorm all the way here to see him? “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”
She prodded at him when she got up. Her words laced with playfulness as she poked fun at Idia for being worried about her sleep schedule when he should be worried about his. He’s been like this for 3 days now, and she was kind of worried. Her eyes told him so.
idia sighed. He ran his hands through his messy fiery hair. Fingers getting tangled at the knots that had been building up for the last few days. When was the last time he properly took care of himself?
“I’ll be in bed in ten minutes.. I-If you’re comfortable with it, I’ll cuddle you too.” He turned his head away from the girl who looked like she had stars in her eyes. “O-only if you go to sleep first!”
She nodded excitedly. He turned his head to look at her, face red and hair pink, she leaned down as he kissed her cheek, muttering a ‘goodnight normie’ and a small slap and a kiss back from her.
——————————————————————————
“I’ll be in bed in ten minutes”
Fucking liar. It’s been more than 30 minutes now and she was deprived of her cuddles. She heard the noises coming from the other side of the room. This was a trick wasn’t it? A trick to get her to sleep in his bed while he played games for the rest of the night.
She huffed and tossed and turned in the bed. She was never able to properly sleep without holding something, and she was too tired to get up. An idea popped into her mind and she grinned evilly.
Taking one last deep inhale of the blue blankets, she shuffled to her feet with a small groan. Getting up was never easy. Thank god for those noise canceling headphones or else he would’ve heard her get up like a grandma.
Idia felt a chill run down his spine. He paused the game he was playing and turned his chair to face the person behind her. The girl’s tired eyes glared at the screen monitor and at him. Idia starts getting nervous.
“I-I’m sorry.. I promise I’ll be in bed after this match I swear-” he was cut off. He swore he combusted and died the moment she rested herself on his lap. Head on his chest, legs on the side of his stick like waist. Arms around his neck and curled up. What kind of dating sim special cutscene is this? His hair bursts into the most vibrant pink there is and he stutters out words before being promptly shut up by a kiss.
“Go play your games or whatever. I’ll be sleeping here.”
He’s died, ascended, combusted, etc etc. His heart is going doki doki on him. She can hear his heartbeat rapidly accelerating and decides to laugh. He muttered a ‘shut up’ and with shaky hands, he resumed his game.
A ‘You Died’ box appears on the screen. He cussed quietly. A few minutes ago he cussed out loudly and she let out an annoyed whine. It was cute, but he did apologize quickly.
A small fist hit his chest. He looked at the digital clock on his computer. 2:24 am. She mutters to him that he needs to sleep now.
“One more match, please my little Sugar Skull?” a soft kiss was planted on her head. She mustered out a noise that sounded very annoyed. He took that as a no.
“Last match, I promise.”
His voice was so soft. It wasn’t fair. She signed and before she could respond, the door busted open.
“Eeeh..? How come little Shrimpy went to Firefly Squid for cuddles..? He’s not even asleep..” The third member of their little squad has arrived. His hair was a mess and he was in his pjs. Shrimp plushie in hand and a very annoyed look on his face as he held up his phone.
“Little Shrimpy wouldn’t stop pestering me about you not sleeping, Firefly squid. She said if I somehow convinced you to sleep, I get to squeeze her aaaall I want for a week, and I’m not passing up on that!”
Idia scoffed. Of course she did. Floyd was like backup when the first defense (‘Shrimpy’) failed to defeat him.
“Of course she did.. I’ll be in bed when I’m done with this round-”
“Yeah but Firefly Squid said that ages ago~” The tall eel made his way around the boxes and books scattered throughout the floor skillfully and stood in front of the computer screens. A toothy grin was plastered on his face not long after kissing both Idia and the now sleeping girl’s heads. Idia scowled as he shifted to the right to see the screen.
“Move over, I can’t see..”
Floyd’s smile turned into a scowl. How dare he pay more attention to a stupid screen than him. He huffed and flopped himself onto the girl, adding more weight onto Idia.
“F-Floyd! Get off- you’re too heavy!”
“But why does Shrimpy get to sleep on yooou?”
“Because she’s lighter than you Floyd!”
Floyd pouted and huffed out a no, before sandwiching the poor girl between the two tall and lanky men. Idia strained his neck upward to get a good look at the monitors on his desk.
“Your character died a looong time ago… If Firefly Squid doesn’t cuddle and sleep with his partners then I’ll take shrimpy with me back Octavinelle and cuddle her myself.” Floyd says with a huff.
Idia panics for a moment before sputtering out his answer.
“I-I never said I wasn’t going to cuddle with her! I just said-”
“Yeah yeah whatever. Less talking, more sleeping.” Floyd grumbled tiredly. He was getting annoyed himself that his stubborn boyfriend refused to sleep with the two of them.
Both of them combined felt like a weighted blanket to Idia. It was warm and comfortable. He was with the people he loved the most and Ortho was on the other side of the room, recharging.
Tiredness crashed down on him like 50 ton anvils, and his eyes eventually closed. His arms wrapped around the two of them and he drifted off to sleep.
—————————————————————————
“Uuuugh this sucks! My back hurts so much!” Floyd whines.
“That’s what you get for making me sleep on my gaming chair.” Idia snickers at both Floyd and his girlfriend. A smug look was plastered all over his face while the two glared at him.
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I really like your ootd posts and seeing what other people wear but it also feels a little bittersweet cause I’m not there yet in my self expression. Between working a corporate office job and having to fit “the look” and having a chronic illness that causes severe bloating and makes me self-conscious about how I look in certain outfits.
I feel bad on the days I let my thoughts about my body win and just wear what’s gonna make me feel less terrible. Guess the long story short is I’ve been too scared to ask off anon how you wear/find outfits that feel like you?
okay okay okay, anon. my whole heart. my hands are on the sides of your face and i am holding you gently.
a couple things here:
-i have been there, and done that in feeling like i had to put myself together a certain way because of the work environment and wanting to be taken seriously (baby doctor grey was sooooo concerned with this. it was a lot of all black and blouses for a bit). and had to do a lot of reprogramming in my own brain about what it meant to be "serious" and why i couldn't be as i am? (hint: ableism! sexism! the patriarchy!). and stopped caring in like 2017? and just started dressing how i wanted to dress in a way that felt comfortable for me, and while i still get comments from assholes about my shoes or if i wear pink to present in, instead of "very serious navy blue" or whatever, it speaks much more about them than it does me. and i can't care. because whatever is on my body does not determine what is in my head nor my capabilities. it is simply self-expression. (but also very much recognize the immense privilege i have now of being able to have several legs to stand on in terms of my career and what i bring to a table and essentially...not having to be worried about being fired for making decisions. i supervise interns and this is always a convo i have with them too. ANYWHO).
*the rest below the cut. to avoid dash spam
-there's a lot of....nonsense fashion rules about there about like "tricking the eye" to look a certain way and "emphasize your small parts!" and "proportion!!!" and its all bullshit. throw it out the window. it means nothing. wear what makes you feel comfy. things you can live in, and do your job in (example: my trousers are high rise and typically wide leg or straight leg so i can BEND in them; so i can SIT ON THE FLOOR in them if need be. so I can MOVE and RUN if need be. not because they emphasize certain things. and HIGH RISE for the same reason because those babies arent falling down and showing my ass crack to the entire world like mid-rise or low rise do on my tall ass.).
like my philosophy is like...i could either wear something that is more "flattering" based on bullshit fashion rules, or i can wear something that makes me feel comfortable that i'm not going to be thinking about all day. clothes should not be things you have to pull at/adjust/think about all day. so if you're concerned with bloating? size up and go from there! there is no shame, none whatsoever.
-i find outfits that look/feel like me through play. i play with what is in my closet a lot. fashion should be fun (i say this knowing that some people truly don't give a damn about clothes and that is totally okay, but you, my friend, sound like you're interested in fashion being fun?). start with a color you love! start with a pattern you love! love stripes? there is no reason you can't wear a striped top with more "corporate" pants, or vise versa.
-after you get comfy with color/patterns that you love, you can start looking for cuts/or pieces that feel like YOU. (ex: LEATHER is a very me material. leather jackets, pants, tops, shoes, feel like me and i try to incorporate it into my wardrobe.)
things that make you feel comfortable (or to mirror your language "less terrible") do not have to be things that are un-fun, or un-you. these things can exist in the same sphere.
<3
send me an ask on anon that you wouldn't send me off anon
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Hi, can you do part 2 where izuku finds and kiddnaps bully reader from the League of villains, please ?
Sorry it took so long /: there’s a lot of shit going on rn but I did my best
Gender neutral, no smut
Hope you enjoy!
Toga had been particularly violent lately and it was certainly taking a toll on you.
You knew she wouldn’t let you die because she needed your blood, but that did little to comfort you when she tortured and taunted you for hours on end.
You’d started seeing things, too— isolation fucks with your head for a while, and it had been weeks since Toga kidnapped you.
The rats, though? Those were real.
So, could you be faulted for rejoicing, at least a little bit, when Izuku finally came to your rescue? Sure, he’d kidnapped you, but he was nice to you, dammit!
When that turned out to be one of Toga’s tricks, you lost hope.
So, when the door to your prison opened, you didn’t bother turning to face the door. You were too tired and too sore for that. Instead, you simply stayed in your corner, facing the wall.
And when Izuku softly called your name into the darkness, you just laughed.
The sound startled both of you. It was hoarse, spiteful, and without mirth, more like a bark than a laugh.
“This again? That trick won’t work on me anymore, Toga. It’s getting old.”
Izuku’s heart shattered.
If he hadn’t already killed Toga, he would have murdered her right then and there. Fortunately, she was already dead in a ditch— he had tortured and subsequently executed her for crimes against his darling.
“Puppy, it’s not Toga. It’s me, Izuku!”
“That’s what you said the last three times. Then your face melted and you stabbed me. Why don’t you try something different? Pretend to be my mom or something.” You snorted.
Toga may have crushed your hope, but she had yet to crush your sense of humor. That was still a work in progress.
Izuku didn’t think it was as funny as you did. Instead, he was filled with rage, and sorrow. “I know she’s tricked you before, but I promise, it’s really me. I’m here to get you out.”
Despite his promises, you tensed when he came closer. Izuku’s eyes filled with tears.
It took much more effort than it should have to turn and face him. He let out a gasp and a broken sob when he saw your face— cheeks hollow, eyes sunken and dead, skin marred by cuts and bruises.
And yet, even like this, you were still beautiful.
Izuku couldn’t help but surge forward and envelop you in a hug.
His tight grip was painful, especially with your injuries, but he quickly loosened it when you cried out. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! Are you okay?”
And the concern on his face, the kindness in his voice, made you burst into tears.
“Please, not again. I can’t do this again, Toga.”
“I promise you, Y/n, I’m not Toga. I’m your boyfriend, Izuku.”
You couldn’t get your hopes up.
“Why do you keep doing this to me, Toga? You’ve won! He’s yours! Stop playing games, just take my blood and leave!”
Izuku just kept holding you as you both cried.
He relished the feeling of you in his arms again. You waited for the pain to start.
But Izuku did something Toga had never done before.
He unlocked your handcuffs.
That’s how you realized that it was really him.
Your newly freed hands immediately wrapped around him and you crashed your lips against his. Despite your foul breath and the taste of blood and tears, Izuku eagerly kissed back.
You could have stayed like that for hours, but Izuku broke the kiss to pick you up off the filthy ground.
“Let’s go home, Y/n,” he whispered.
As he carried you to the car waiting outside, you nuzzled into him and breathed in his scent, the scent of home.
You resolved to be kinder to him after that— he may have kidnapped you, but he was nice to you, dammit!
But making fun of people who kidnapped you was a bad habit you would never break.
Endnotes:
1. TOGA BABY IM SO SORRY FOR DOING THIS TO YOU YOURE MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER TwT
2. Not much bullying but whatever, I did my best
3. Hm this isnt the best but I’m tired and it’s been waiting for a while. Here’s a word of advice: sometimes good enough is good enough and sometimes all you can do is all you can do.
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My live reactions to season 4 episode 9 (part 1)
But they're slightly out of context and a complete unfiltered adhd mess
Also ofc spoilers
-will yuri ever give up on trying to trick them
-and I think he might legit be attracted to that helicopter
-are JOYCE AND HOPPER GONNA FUCK IN THAT CHURCH?!?!??
-AHUT UP
-shut up
-OMFG
-FINALLY
-not the us government cockblocking
-Robin making fun of Steve is my fav
-don’t like the foreshadowing of Steve telling Eddie and Dustin to abort the mission
-there’s so much foreshadowing for Eddie dying I can’t take it
-Eddie and his bandana is doing things to me
-also Dustin is so cute with his little outfit
-that boy is my son
-I really hope el’s plan works because it’s so cool
-so happy for Kate bush rn because she’s truly in her bag
-shit angry hick
-Joyce is the best mom, but I hate this plan
-not argyle making a pizza
-THIS US IT
-ITS HAPPENUNG
-Eddie’s hand…
-MY HEART IS RACING
-I think this scene will actually get me pregnant lol
-get this stancy off my screen, I want Eddie’s sexy ass playing Metallica to save the world!!!!!
-“you’re there” just let out the deepest sigh
-this is making it sound like I don’t like Steve or Nancy, I’d like to clarify that I absolutely love both of them, I just can’t stand stancy for so many reasons
-Enzo is either gonna die or double cross them calling it now
-jk on the double crossing, but homeboy is NOT surviving
-I’m so anxious I’m tempted to look on Twitter for spoilers so any deaths don’t hit as hard
-LUMAX LUMAX LUMAX
-max better survive to see that movie istfg if she doesn’t
-Jonathan best brother ever
-please make them explicitly say Will is gay by the end of the series
-yas the show setting it straight on how bad Billy was
-Catholic guilt max is so real
-fuck I have chills. I love max so much and I really just want her to actually be happy.
-shit vecna has her
-Caleb is acting his ass off in this scene
-starved for elmax content
-skater girl max truly has my heart
-IS THIS REALLY IT
-YES
-omfg Chrissy this is for you
-I just audibly screamed
-already knew it was gonna be master of puppets, but I’m still freaking out cuz I love this song
-DADDY DADDY DADDY
-stfu Dustin head banging is adorable
-this is already one of my top 10 fight scenes from any show/movie just because of the song choice
-I INWO THAT RAGEDY BITVH DIDNT JUST TACKLE ERICA
-Eddie nation how we doing?
-I will be rewatching that scene for the rest of the summer istg
-Max’s best memory being there snow ball<3
-Russian crew is so unbelievably fucked I’m horrified
-bro demaflayers?!?!?!?
-Steve’s hopping just gave me the ick
-ronance moment
-baby max<3<3<3
-lmao I forgot this was the song they used in the snow ball scene
-it’s 3:30 am and I’m so tired, but I’m only half way through and HAVE to watch on one sitting
-seriously the cinematography
-fuck Jason omfg
-IF HE HURTS LUCAS
-I hate this it’s so unnecessary
-I don’t wanna watch the Russian teams scenes because I’m so scared
-fuck hopper being the bait
-NO JOYCE GETTING FLASHBACKS
-still so scared for Eddie too
-ROBIN
-STEVE
-NANCY
-god Russia needs to come through rn with that hive mind theory
-if Eddie doesn’t get through
-BO NO NO NON NO NO
-pausing to accept that Eddie is about to die
-just caved and looked at spoilers and now I don’t wanna finish :(
-it’s honestly on me for falling in love with him
-just spoiled Max too so I can handle it
-I’m finishing this shit in the morning
-Eddie nation plz don’t stop posting fanfics because it’s all I have now
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I posted 10,158 times in 2022
That's 6,390 more posts than 2021!
233 posts created (2%)
9,925 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@ickyprincetothesun
@fangirlingpuggle
@larrythepistachio
@justablah56
@annabelle--cane
I tagged 706 of my posts in 2022
#tma - 124 posts
#the magnus archives - 94 posts
#jonathan sims - 42 posts
#dracula daily - 27 posts
#dracula - 24 posts
#jonmartin - 22 posts
#martin blackwood - 21 posts
#tma spoilers - 20 posts
#statement remains - 16 posts
#tma fanart - 15 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#whereas martin is just chuggin along in his life when ope here’s a person i can help time to get them tea what do you mean i’m in love
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
“Oh, Martin saw Jon be a complete mess of a human being and thought I can fix him and that was the reason his crush started”
you fools. you absolute circus clowns. you avatars of pure silliness.
Martin is EXACTLY as unhinged as Jon even before they ever meet each other, and becomes even more so after we meet him. Behold:
List of Reasons why Martin Kartin Blackwood is just as (if not more) unhinged than his avatar-of-all-evil-knowledge-boyfriend:
in order to get a job, he lied on his CV. Not too bad, fuck academic elitism, etc, but this man. claimed to have a very specific degree in a very specific field. and then he got hired. because of that degree
and no one noticed. for ten whole years.
(except the head of the institute, which doesn’t count bc he’s an evil mind reading bastard)
Also claimed to be like ten years older than he really was (him and jon share this unhinged fun fact which is fuckin wild)
ALSO also didn’t have a middle name so just kinda. gave himself a middle initial. for funsies.
let a dog into a building bc it tricked him with its cute face
but also carried out a con for months on an avatar of an evil fear god by just. frowning and nodding.
could have been an avatar of manipulation and control, instead decided to be in love. icon.
actually, could have been an avatar of three different fear gods. said no thanks I will be in love instead ty
boss is specifically an asshole to him. decides to fall in love anyway.
had to be told to put his hands in his pockets so he would stop touching plastic explosives
wanted to kill an old man bc one time that old man kind of threatened to throw him off a rollercoaster
after being trapped in his flat for three weeks by a bug lady, brought a jar full of her bugs with him back to work to prove a point
willing to damn an unknowable number of other realities
met himself. he was an asshole. to himself.
“sorry elias I can’t hear you there’s a door in the way”
decided with no evidence that he was going to take his bf on a hiking trip and figure out a way to shove the fear gods back into their little box
has dreams of making out with his bf over their ex-boss’s corpse
“Hey, Elias! J o n a h M a g n u s !!!!! …. OI DICKHEAD”
big strong rowing arms
(that’s not unhinged i just wanted everyone to remember that martin has big strong arms good for rowing and giving hugs)
thinks tea is cure to all emotional ills
certainly has a large fun patterned jumper collection at home
also advocates that he and his bf “get their murder on”
stole a possibly evil tape recorder to record poetry bc lo-fi vibes
spent several months talking to tape recorders more than humans
See the full post
6,854 notes - Posted April 13, 2022
#4
Help I’m late to the party re: cryptic Rusty Quill Magnus Archives news and don’t know how to catch up!
You have come to the right place! Here I will summarize The Bullshit™️ with time stamps where able. I will also update this post when new things come to light.
Let’s go one day at a time!
10 October
Rusty Quill Twitter and Instagrams post UNPROMPTED, UNEXPLAINED eyes
See the full post
7,837 notes - Posted October 12, 2022
#3
tma fandom for the past year and a half: the ambiguity of the ending was so beautiful, I love that we just Don’t Know what happened to them. Horror tragedy is a heart-wrenching but also amazing genre.
tma fans today: mARTIN? Martin my beloved bby boy?? Is here???? Is aliVe??? THANK FUCK THIS IS WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG now where is my jarchivist whom I love so dearly rusty quill if you keep him from me I will never forgive you
11,420 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#2
I did not have “tumblr book club forms and reads a classic horror novel delivered via email; immediately begins to roast and fall in love with protagonist” on my 2022 bingo card, but I have to say I am enjoying myself immensely
18,645 notes - Posted May 5, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I feel like neil gaiman’s regular presence on this hellsite is like… an unintentional secret that we all have. I never question it, and yet it’s just like… on your right you will see the queer podcast fandom. on the left you will see author of coraline and good omens and the sandman. yeah he’s here. yeah sometimes he’ll appear in your notes or respond to a shitpost when you least expect it. it’s fine.
30,370 notes - Posted August 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#my longest tag is iconic tyvm
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