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#like bro is flabbergasted in the background

kiwisluv · 8 days

Text

jude bellingham blurb - barca vs psg

reader x bf!jude

set during the barca vs psg leg 2 champions league match

1.4k words - i guess not really a blurb at this point😭 also not proofread soz xx

You and your best friend were sat in the tv lounge at your uni, watching the Barcelona vs PSG game since you had downtime between classes. A little bit into the first half, a group of three boys had come by to ask if they could watch the game with you two, and you obliged, figuring it wouldn't do any harm.

By the time the second half started, you and your friend were regretting your mistake. The three boys were yapping about the game the entire time, which wouldn't have been terrible if it wasn't so obvious that they were trying to flex their "superior" knowledge about footy. The two of you just kept to yourself, making a quiet comment to each other about the game here and there, but you couldn't help but make eye contact every time one of the men confidently remarked about the game, only to be making an incorrect statement. It was almost laughable the amount of times they had messed up; when their fourth friend came at halftime, one of the men loudly went, "Bro, PSG just got a red card then scored on the penalty kick." You couldn't even wrap your head around how the boy could've mistaken what he was watching THAT badly. At one point, you could barely hold back your giggles as your best friend tweeted, "Barcelona fans are the type of people to stare straight into the sun during the solar eclipse."

You had also been texting Jude throughout the game, knowing he couldn't talk right now because the team was prepping for tomorrow, but still sending him your commentary like you always did for him to read later. This included texts like "RED CARDDDDD THIS IS PEAK COMEDY FROM BARCA" and "XAVI GETTING SENT OFF I'M DYINGGGGG!!!!!!" It's safe to say that you were happy to see the downfall of Jude's rival club. At one point early in the second half, you saw the photos of Jude from his press conference and showed your friend excitedly, raving about how fit he was, and laughing at one of the videos of him trying to understand a Spanish interviewer. When they boys caught notice of this, they side eyed each other, assuming that you were just some girls who didn't even care about football and just watched for the fit guys. This got them chatting even louder, reallyyy trying to show off their ball knowledge now. Because of your mention of Jude, they started talking about tomorrow's games and proceeded to rant about how City was gonna blow out Madrid. This struck a nerve in you but you decided to bite your tongue and just focus on the game and your friend instead of biting at their bait.

After Mbappe's second goal, you were absolutely raving, texting Jude something along the lines of "KYKYYYYYYYY." You cheered with your friend as the boys sulked further into their chairs, obviously unhappy with the scoreline. "I love my man, but Kyks..." you joked to your friend as you watched PSG celebrating all over the screen. "Can't wait for you to come to Madrid baby," you joking said to the TV screen, your friend giggling at your ridiculousness. This fit was interrupted, though, as your phone started buzzing and Jude's contact picture (a quite unflattering photo of him sleeping) filled your phone. Your heart instinctually swelled at the thought of speaking to your boyfriend, and you quickly answered the call. "Please tell me you just saw that goal," you said as soon as Jude's face filled the screen. It looked as if he was done with training and sitting in the team's makeshift common area. You could hear some of his teammates messing around in the background and even saw Cama passing by in the background.

"Well hello to you too," Jude said jokingly. You rolled your eyes at his sassiness, choosing to ignore this comment and ask if he was watching the game.

Unbeknownst to you, the four boys sat in the room with you were absolutely flabbergasted. They were looking at each other with the widest eyes, unable to believe what they were hearing. Your friend saw this, biting back her smirk at their reaction. "Hiya Jude," she greeted, peaking her head into the frame to say hi to your boyfriend, who she was also quite close with.

"Hi!" he smiled back with a wave to the camera. "And yes, I'm watching the game. We just got done with training."

"We watched some of your press conference earlier. It was alright," you joked to the man. This time it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Kidding, of course. You looked sexy," you said with an overdramatic wink. You couldn't hold back your laughter at the silly remark. "But for real, your answers were perfect. You actually sounded very competent and not nearly as cocky as you actually are."

"Wow. Thanks for that," he said in fake annoyance.

"I've already got screenshots of it in my camera roll."

"You're a creep," he deadpanned. "I can't believe my girlfriend is a groupie."

This had you gasping, holding your hand to your heart as you feigned offence. "Alright, goodbye now Jude." You pretended to go to hang up the phone but were cut off by Jude going "No no no no!"

After that little fit, he asked you about how your day was, how your assignments were going, etc. He even asked your friend about how her date was last night, surprising you that he even remembered about that. She took the phone from you to debrief your boyfriend about her night, telling him the story of the crazy guy she'd had dinner with. As the two chatted away, you watched the last few minutes of the game, feeling warm inside at how happy you were with Jude and how happy you were that he got along with your friends so well.

However, your thoughts were interrupted by the four boys, who had stood up and walked over to you. You looked at them puzzled, having a hunch about what they wanted. "Hey, um, we were just wondering..." one of the boys started, obviously nervous about whatever he was going to say. At this point, you knew what they wanted, and you couldn't believe the nerve they had after slagging off Madrid mere minutes ago.

"If you could say hi to Jude?" you finished the question for him. They sheepishly nodded, one of the others adding, "We're big fans."

You held back your eye roll at that last statement, taking the phone from your friend and turning it so that the boys could see Jude and vice versa. "Jude, these are the guys that were just chatting all about how City's gonna win tomorrow." You couldn't see your boyfriend's face, but you imagined him raising his eyebrows at this statement. You and your friend laughed at how caught off guard the boys were by your statement. They looked panicked, all four of them standing with their mouths hung open but not saying anything.

"Oof," Jude shook his head on the screen. "Don't say that around y/n. She'll have your necks for talking down on Madrid."

At this, the frontmost of the boys scratched his neck and laughed nervously. "Um, we didn't mean it like that...we were just, um, talking about the odds and stuff..." he tried to scrap up a pathetic excuse.

"What team do you lads support?" Jude asked.

The four looked at each other as if they were unsure of whether to tell the truth or not. "Barca..." one ended up saying quietly. His friend widened his eyes at this, quickly adding on, "But we think you're class! You've been mental to watch this season."

"Thanks, mate. I'll have to tell the Barca lads even their fans are supporting Madrid this season! No wonder with the state of this game." At this, you brought your phone back to face you, giving the boys a look as to say, Okay, you can go now. You almost felt a little bad for embarrassing them but then remembered how annoying they were during the game and didn't regret a thing. "You're brutal," Jude said, shaking his head at your antics.

"They were annoying," you replied with a shrug. "I think I have to go to class now. I'll call you before our train to Manchester leaves tonight."

He smiled widely at this, ecstatic that he would get to see you after his game tomorrow. "Okay. I can't wait to see you. You too (y/bsf/n)!"

"Yeah, yeah. Me too. I love you, bye!"

"Love you, too." he smiled brightly before hanging up the phone.

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fanfic

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dontexpectmuch · 1 year

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sometimes jude gives himbo vibes (lets never forget he thinking mexican was a language lol) so what about headcanons of himbo jude and smart reader? I think this could be fun 😂😅

jude bellingham testing his partners patience could be like…:

you try your very best to help jude and his friend, gio, as much as you can when it comes to freshen up their general knowledge. you try. however, as soon as you talk about the first topic, a huge discussion erupts with both of them talking as loud as possible, trying to get their points through. and somehow you always end up in the middle, both of them trying to get to tell the other that their opinion is wrong.

“bro, a piranha could kill you.” gio laughs, looking at jude who only shakes his head scoffing with his hand squeezing your thigh. “not me, though.” he denies, now looking at you, in hopes that you would back him up. “don’t look at me like that, love, of course they can.” - “you should support me instead of that geezer!” he exclaims, offended that you would betray him like that. “bro, why wouldn’t it? have you seen them?” gio continued, not believing that his friend could be this naïve. “i’ll just swim away.” jude shrugged. both gio and you looked at him flabbergasted, no words found to describe how disappointed you felt.

explaining him different theories throughout the day, whether it was biology related or historical, became the new norm for you. it almost felt like playing teacher/pupil. jude somehow always comes up with the most interesting (?) questions ever. and instead of googling it or whatever, his first reaction is to go to you, the smartest person he knew. “babe, what did they say about the giraffe necks again?” - “babe, how can genes skip a generation? do they just, i don’t know, wait?” - “bro, what do you mean the proteins dissolve in heat?” you have to be patient, but also couldn’t help but coo at your boyfriends confused expression.

he uses your wide spectrum of vocabulary to roast his teammates or jobe in the group chat, never in real life, since he wouldn’t be able to pronounce everything correctly for the first time. it is usually in the evening, the two of you laying on the couch, a tv show softly playing in the background. “yo,” jude speaks up, his face focused on his phone, eyebrows drawn together and lips agape, “how do i say that he can go fuck himself and that i don’t care that he doesn’t want to do it, but, like, make it sound smart.” - “jude, what are you doing?”

sometimes, when his cluelessness gets too much for you to handle, you usually walk away, to a different room or something. just, something so you wouldn’t hit judes pretty little head with the next slipper you found. though, he is really mature and is able to keep a conversation flowing, he’d sometimes say something so out of pocket that one would have to be left alone for a while, just so you could comprehend what had happened. and jude would follow you, not giving you a chance to escape his weirdness, “bruh, c’mon it wasn’t that bad.” he’d laugh, his hands closed around your arm to pull you against his chest. “no, please.” you shake your head, trying to break free, “i can’t do this today.” -“babe! don’t be so mean.” - “love, what do you mean you thought mexican was a language? please, don’t do this to me.” hearing you say that caused him to laugh even more, eyes closed and head thrown back.

———————————

himbo bee effs for the win

#football one shot #football x reader #x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #football #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham fluff

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jazjelspen · 3 months

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bro, for the one with Alastor and angel daughter, all I can imagine is Alastor and Lucifer having a dream daddy style dad off. Both of them bragging about their respective daughters and getting progressively more aggressive about it with Angel Dust in the background, having no clue about the adoption, fucking flabbergasted at the concept of Alastor having sex

LMAO anon ur a genius😭😭 hope you don’t mind if I add this at some point during a chapter (probably a bonus chapter where the events of the fic have passed and everything’s okay now) cuz this sounds like gold!! Especially Angel dust cuz he would definitely be in literal shock.

But yea anon ur a genius 🫡🫡

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kanekoii · 4 months

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Can I ask for that overused accidentally revealing ur relationship on stream (reader or character can be streaming) with Pom, Selen, Elira and/or ur jp favorites?

lyra’s notes -> hi hi hello i’m here to write i’m finally back so sorry this took forever

pairings -> pomu rainpuff, selen tatsuki, elira pendora, kanae, rindou mikoto, murakumo kagetsu x gn! reader

genre -> fluff, little bit of crack, scenario

song -> boyfriend - payday

warnings -> hiding relationships, some strong language, marriage in mikoto’s

POMU RAINPUFF ->

she more or less just rolls with it like, “yeah lmao we’ve been dating for months anyways” and moves on. she giggles when chat blows up tho, and if any of her fans are toxic about it she’ll handle it much more seriously. she’ll likely make a post on her twitter to address the fans and ask them to not pry much about her relationship with you. in any case, it’s a bit of a relief to be able to talk about just how much she loves you on stream now tho, cuz she WILL talk for hours and hours about how cute you are and how much she loves you.

ELIRA PENDORA ->

she plays it off as a joke so as to not face any criticism. at least, at first. it’s a “joke” until she reveals her off-collab with you where she’s constantly hugging and kissing you, then everyone sort of realizes it’s not a joke and moves on. thankfully, she didn’t face the criticism she feared and her relationship sort of faded into the background without being a major part of her image, but that doesn’t stop her from rambling about how much she loves you sometimes.

SELEN TATSUKI ->

her reputation as a maidenless gremlin is at stake here, if people find out she’s actually someone’s girlfriend- it doesn’t actually matter that much. it was sort of suspected for a while now anyway, considering how she’d drop everything to join your streams or how she’d subtly flirt with you. people kinda knew for a while when she’d mute herself on your stream to compliment you or when you’re afk in the bathroom or something she’ll be simping and tell your chat not to say anything and hope they play along.

KANAE ->

when you accidentally hint at your relationship with him, bro just ignores it. when his chat inevitably asks about the comments, he gives and fully reveals your relationship. even if it was obvious from how you off-collab with him often and how you can sometimes be heard during his streams. kanae ends up telling his chat how he met you and how happy he is to be living with you. cuz he is HAPPY to be dating you.

RINDOU MIKOTO ->

she’s a little taken aback by it at first. she doesn’t gloss over it much just saying, “i still love you, babe” when you accidentally fuck her over in a video game you were playing together. she’s very open about it from then on, sometimes just having whole streams to chill and talk about her ideas for future dates to take you on, cute memories she has of you, and even more! she’ll even enlist chat’s help to find a ring to propose to you with!

MURAKUMO KAGETSU ->

he’s more of a shy little fella so he is utterly FLABBERGASTED when you accidentally mention your relationship. it’s not like he denies it, but it’s obvious he gets a bit flustered talking about the ins and outs of his relationship with you in front of thousands of people on stream. it’s not that he’s particularly ashamed of it because he’s not, but his chat has a tendency to tease him about how soft he is for you, how he’s always complimenting you when you’re on his streams, and even how you’ll occasionally bring him water and something to munch on when he’s doing a particularly long stream.

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tmntxthings · 2 years

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Leo x female!reader who is very muscly and just... scoops Leo up bridal-style. Bonus if Leo short-circuits with the most flabbergasted look on his face 😂 ~🌺👸

In Your Arms

requests: HIII CAN YOU DO A RISE! LEO X GN! READER THAT'S TALLER THAN HIM??? ( like leo's 5'5 and the reader is 5'9 ) from @suquiinoz

author’s notes: this was really short >\\\\< but cute nonetheless, hope you enjoy~~

warnings: fluff

—————————————————————————

It was a dance battle! Leo and you on one team versus April and Donnie on the other. Mikey and Raph were cheering everyone on in the arcade. They were at the dance machine and it was down to the wire. April and Donnie were a force to be reckoned with, they were the usual winners, the champions. Which irked Leo to his core because he wanted to be the champion. The champion of everything including dance battles. This time for sure the two of you would beat the ‘ultimate duo’ as April and Donnie liked to call themselves.

Everyone was sweating, Mikey and Raph hooting and hollering in the background. They had said they weren’t taking sides but Leo just knew Raph was on Donnie’s side. Thankfully his lil’ bro was a great cheerleader. If Raph was on Donnie’s side, Mikey was definitely on Leo’s. That was usually how things went down for the brothers on most occasions. There was the rare times where the disaster twins teamed up but again, it was few and far between.

You and Leo had been practicing for a week straight on this particular song. So in the end when the two of you came out victorious it was soooo satisfying. “Ahahaha!” Leo laughed and pointed at Donnie’s face, “we are the champions now brother of mine!”

Donnie rolled his eyes as he leaned his shell back against the bar. “Yeah, sure ‘til next time,” he panted out exhausted as April hopped down from the dance platform. “Good game you guys!” she smiled. You were jumping up and down with excitement. You couldn’t believe it, you and Leo finally beat them!! In your whirlwind of exhilaration you pulled Leo into your arms, easily sweeping him off of his feet. “We did it!!!” You exclaimed and hadn’t noticed the dark blush that took over Leo’s features as you continued to raise him higher. “I- uh- yeah!” Leo stuttered. It was times like this where he was reminded that you were in fact taller than the blue clad turtle.

He wouldn’t go as far to admit you were stonger than him because that was still to be determined but you were strong enough to lift him like he wasn’t a teenage mutant ninja turtle! You placed him down realizing everyone was smirking at the two of you. “Heh sorry I got so excited!” You said to Leo and he shrugged, “it’s cool,” he mumbled not wanting to admit how much he had enjoyed it. He was a sucker for hugs. “Awwwww Leo and Y/n sittin’ in a tree~~~” Mikey started to sing and it was your turn to blush as Leo immediately started chasing after his younger brother. “Shut it Mikey!!” And laughter, and a bit of screaming (coming from Mikey) could be heard throughout the lair that night.

This wasn’t the first time, Leo remembered the last time you had picked him up, it had been bridal style and he had been soooo embarrassed. Mostly because he enjoyed it immensely. It had been when Leo had stubbed his toe and he was rolling around on the floor dramatically in pain. You had scooped him up into your arms and asked if you should bring him to the kitchen for ice. “No- no!” Leo had come out of his dramatic flare, not wanting to be brought out of his room in your arms like this. He was thankful none of his brothers were there to tease him about it! ‘Cause he hadn’t just hopped out of your arms, he reveled in being held, like it was the greatest place to be, it made his brain all mushy with serotonin.

“Leo? You sure? You got a funny look on your face,” you said worried that his rolling around had somehow hurt more than just one toe but maybe even a head injury. You were totally oblivious to his blushing or his heart eyes. “I’m good I promise!” Leo said hastily, not wanting to leave his room or your arms.

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calekinnieplus · 2 months

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This looks like a fun idea, so here goes! :

What do you think of this guy🙃?

Oh wow! Good character you chose there ahahaha! Roselle Gustav aka Huang Tao!

First impression

Honestly, I was floating in confusion at the start a bit, considering it was my first Chinese webnovel, so I had a period of readjustment to the writing style (or the translation ig?), so I didn't immediately connect the dots that Roselle was a transmigrator or that he's... kinda "dead" lol

Buuuut, once the dots connected, I did find him quite amusing! Bro's self-confidence gave me second-hand embarrassment, but not That bad. But also, Klein was bashing on him so hard, it was kinda hilarious.

I don't fully remember what impression I had of him, since I was reading pretty slow in the beginning and some ideas were lost, but overall, fun guy lmao

Impression now

Hilarious guy, a meme, a legend.

Yet...

Quite unfortunate that his end was just endless suffering (which will hopefully not be endless haha...). Bro made small mistakes in the beginning when he didn't know Anything, when he was transported to a world he didn't know anything about, forced to adapt and live a new life. I don't know, I find him tragic, just like Klein.

At least he had some good times along the road (especially with a demoness heh). The funny stories were nice to read.

Favorite moment

Basic, but his first talk with Klein. I mean, him meeting a fellow transmigrater and quickly having faith in him was sweet. I really wish to see more of them :>

If we're talking about the diary entries, I'd probably choose when... uhhh the corruption thing. Roselle going to the moon. And when he gazed into the Abyss. I remember how the diary entry abruptly cut off after dumping a lot of info and both Klein and I were Flabbergasted. What did it MEAN-!!

(I have a feeling I'm mixing up the moments, but the feelings remain. The confusion, the anticipation and the wonder from some diary entries were Amazing)

OH, and the last diary entry of course. It was so chill-inducing! It was one of those moments that answered a lot of questions while also bringing even MORE questions. It was just- the atmosphere full of fear and uncertainty, putting into question what that fellow transmigrator went through, wowie~

Idea for a story

Well, let me shuffle in the corner of my brain...

I've always been a fan of Time Travel AUs. So the idea of Klein (at a higher sequence but not Saint Level, maybe? Idk, a lot of possibilities here) travelling to Roselle’s time period and the two of them becoming best buddies (Roselle’s words, not Klein's. Klein's facepalming in the background at Roselle’s shenanigans).

Maybe! It could be a young god Mr Fool using his domain over Space and Time and having a misplaced adventure during Roselle’s time.

(We're pretending the Outer Gods and CW isn't as dauting of a problem as they are in canon, aye?)

Anyway, doesn't matter which version of Klein or during what time he's visiting, it's mandatory that he facepalms at least once :))

Unpopular opinion

Well, I don't know the popular opinions, so I'll guess I'll just go with an opinion.

I mean, he totally could've treated his wife better. I can understand feeling a disconnect with this world and humanity in general, but at least don't bring shame to her name by being a known womanizer, mm? At least divorce or smth, man. You overthrew the government, you could definitely do that.

Unless he actually did divorce her and we just don't know. But otherwise, yeah. Kinda dick move there, Emperor.

Favorite relationship

(Platonic, right?)

Again, basic but. Roselle and Bernadette.

The fact that Bernadette spent so much time searching for a father she was on dubious terms with and how much faith she had that he persevered against all odds.

The fact that Roselle’s one and only tie with this new world was his daughter, his beloved child that he loved with all his might. A child he shared a piece of his old world with. A child he remodeled this entire world's structure for. Absolutely heart-warming.

Favorite headcannon

Hmm let's see...

Huang Tao, as a young individual who surfs the internet, would know a lot of memes or jokes. After becoming Roselle Gustav, those memes aren't easily forgotten.

I mean, is it canon, actually? Maybe he made several Chinese meme references and I missed them lmao. That would be funny

Bonus: imagine Huang Tao and Zhou Mingrui bumped into each other one day, unaware that the next time they'll meet each other, it will be after more than 10 000 years, give or take. ...what's the timeline here?

#vertigone answers #lotm #lord of the mysteries #lotm spoilers #emperor roselle #roselle gustav #huang tao

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blackstarchanx3new · 9 months

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Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 1

Pages 1-30

We are introduced to the man who ruined my life:

Currently nameless night guard with pale as fuck skin and pretty dead inside eyes. Weirdly grey hair for how youthful he is and blonde eyebrows.

Bro dyes his hair grey for some unexplainable reason.

forgive the art looking goofy it is over 2 years old lmfao.

I was too lazy to draw shit on a lot of the walls. I hate drawing backgrounds. Still do they are annoying. So BGs barely exist in Creations. It allows a lot more character focused shots but it is also very annoying looking back. X'DDDD

Though it means if I bothered with a background thing it's IMPORTANT.

Mike suspiciously eyes the things I bothered to draw on the wall because: Oop Springtrap.

Which you think would be a plot hole but this comic fucks with your sense of what reality is in the comic's own logic.

Mr. Nightguard still refuses to talk, but is intrigued by the robots on his cameras.

You'll notice: I tend to draw a LOT of panels for smaller details.

My comics have now been compared to "Storyboards" and I feel like that is more accurate. Like a lot of comics STUFF dialogue and actions into tight panels but as an indie comic creator: I don't have page limits lmao.

So I can make them do smaller actions and have the pace be a little slower.

I think this is why a lot of people get impeccant with my comics but I kinda like showing off more small simple actions.

Freddy appears!

And Mr. Nightguard is flabbergasted and checks his cams. Sure enough Chica and Freddy are both gone.

There's an error in this page lmfao but we're not gonna talk about that.

Freddy seems friendly enough...Maybe TOO friendly...

Freddy wants to fuck the nightguard lmfao and makes it very obvious.

So this is a running gag in Creations: you think a character will be one way and they just...Aren't. (Because of pre-established AU concepts like..."Freddy's a good leader")

This Freddy, is distinctly "a hoe". And I love him.

If it isn't extremally obvious...but just for those who are REALLY dumb: Most of the robots aren't possessed by kids.

This AU takes ideas from the FNAF series and ignores a lot.

Because it's an AU.

And I can do whatever I want lmfao.

People accepted Freddy was a slut but then got REALLY ANGRY about random semantics like what a certain character's name was.

And I'll never understand how you could accept Freddy being HIMSELF here, but would get mad about like...NAMES.

Someone explain that to me???? X'D

Either way Mr. Nightguard isn't ready for Freddy and locks him out of the office.

Freddy responds rather childishly by getting angry and proclaiming he is the most important person here.

Mr. Nightguard just points to the camera wordlessly as if to say "I am watching the place/you"

Freddy gets pissy and decides to go to SOMEONE to sort the nightguard's rude behavior out.

Freddy is seemingly more bothered about the Nightguard being rude than the rejection itself.

Bonnie the Bunny is a smoking tough guy in this comic.

Why?

Because the most accepted Fannon Bonnie was a weak little shithead that didn't do much so I made mine a tough guy. X'D

He's a stoner because comedy.

Distinctly one of his eyes are busted and he is not a fan of Freddy plowing into him.

We learn immediately Freddy whining to Bonnie is normal and while Bonnie acts annoyed he goes to sort things out immediately showing his loyalties do lie with the bear.

Also bonnie is huge if Freddy's height is anything to go off of.

He yanks off Mr. Nightguard's hat and is generally a rude fellow himself.

Asking bluntly if Mike has a second to hear what he has to say.

Mr. Nightguard stares blankly at this action.

Bonnie has no clue what personal space is, getting more and more into Mr. Nightguard's face and doesn't even let him respond.

Bonnie's the one who seemingly keeps the peace around here via thinly vailed threats of violence.

Freddy's whining fest is again linked to the rude behavior of slamming the door and Bonnie isn't a fan of hearing it.

Bonnie continues not to let Mr. Nightguard get a word in and is ready to leave getting ready to smoke another cigarette.

Mr. Nightguard recognizes Bonnie prompting my favorite lines from any character in this comic:

"What a freak"

because Mike being considered a freak is a running gag in this comic for reasons that become VERY apparent.

Bonnie's eyes shift a different color too. How odd. :)

I was lazy with this one lmao.

Someone with the initials "F.S" is a big fan of Freddy.

And other doodles have a lot of references to broken hearts.

Mr. Nightguard can hear Mike coming, he DID something that pissed Bonnie off. This presumably had to do with Freddy Mr. Nightguard seems unphazed and rather silly in his mannerisms and dialogue despite his blank expression.

Saying "Boop" as he presses the button and obviously lying when he claims he doesn't know how to use a knife in a fight.

Why is Mr. Nightguard carrying a suspiciously large kitchen knife around on him exactly?

Bonnie is ready and WANTS a fight, but Mr Nightguard is very hesitant to do so.

Bonnie is rude and blows cigarette smoke into Mr. Nightguard's face, repeating he is pissed off.

asking if Mr. Nightguard knows how people die there.

Golly gee. I can finally stop calling him "Mr Night guard"

This is Mike Schmidt. We are introduced to the idea there is ANOTHER Mike in the building... If you are familiar with FNAF lore you know exactly who that is.

Bonnie proclaims Mike Schmidt's new name is "Baby boy"

a very rude and condescending nickname for a grown man.

Bonnie has an odd device in the back of his throat when he opens his mouth wider. If you've noticed up until this point: Bonnie doesn't open his mouth to speak, that thing in the back of his throat is an air filter and he keeps his mouth shut until the air he smokes is clear.

This is never stated directly in the comic, rather smth you gotta infer yourself at some point. Which lead to MANY people asking "Wtf is that thing in Bonnie's mouth"

It's an air filter.

Mike gets tossed into the backroom area.

There's a cheeky reference to my OC comic Falling Cards with some art on the wall. There's a LOT of Falling Cards references in at least a few of my FNAF animations I know that for sure. X'D

Mike is disturbed by the blood on the spare empty Freddy suit.

Bonnie not so subtly threatens "That's where he's going"

Implying someone has most certainly DIED in there.

I have joked with just about everyone that scene is kinky.

And that joke only gets funnier when smth about Bonnie is revealed later buuuut I digress.

Mike is prepped for death.

Mike actually shows some emotion here being disturbed as the suit is tossed besides him and Bonnie lifts up the Freddy head.

Mike shows off a package of SOMETHING that captures Bonnie's attention.

People assumed that was chocolate.

But considering we've seen Bonnie obsessed with ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY...you can kinda infer what that packet is...

Mike's attitude intimidates even Bonnie.

This kinda gives the vibe nobody's been this aggressive, at least in this particular manor towards the animatronics before.

Mike comes off as an incredibly unstable individual given what we know about him so far:

He carries around a kitchen knife and will quickly snap if you act in a way he deems inappropriate.

It's revealed in case you didn't realize: This was a package of cigarettes.

Which leads to the fun question: Does Mike smoke?

This would seem silly on first glance. He HAS a pack of cigarettes of COURSE he smokes...Right?

Notice: He doesn't use the previously mentioned knife through this scene but would rather use bribery...

This shows Mike would rather manipulate/intimidate than actually fight physically. Which makes sense considering Bonnie's size and strength.

Or perhaps he is avoiding a fight with Bonnie for emotional reasons. As it's implied Mike has some connection.

Either way he cuts a deal with Bonnie that he will give Bonnie a few cigarettes for work. And Bonnie agrees.

We start off in the office, it is unclear if this is a new day or the same night.

Bonnie happily has his cigarette and Mike remarks he didn't think Bonnie NEEDED to smoke.

Bonnie just responds Freddy's bots are weird.

There's a help wanted easter egg here with the faz token in the lockers.

Mike is searching for "anything of interest" and establishes he's interested in the bloody suit.

Bonnie seems amused by this outright stating he just wanted to scare Mike. Delighted in getting a reaction out of our so far very stoic night guard.

Bonnie seems clueless about the actual death surrounding that suit, just that he knows SOMEONE died in it at SOME POINT. But can we really trust his word at this point?

Bonnie also says ANOTHER favorite line of mine, because it's so stupid

"Hah...Blunt"

get it. because weed-

Anyway Mike mentions a person named "Jeremy" to Bonnie and Bonnie confuses this person with another Jeremy in a different department.

This evidently isn't who Mike is talking about.

Bonnie's SHOCKED Mike would DARE leave the office but Mike's full of sass and says as long as he has the tablet to watch the cameras he IS doing his job.

Bonnie shows an odd level of concern, voicing Mike is putting himself in danger.

Mike not so slyly brings up he can bring Bonnie more cigarettes as a way to keep himself safe.

Bonnie's vision gltiches as Mike smiles and Bonnie is very freaked out by this, weirdly apologizing for nothing.

Bonnie has a moment of clarity realizing he has seen Mike before somewhere too.

Something about this man is FIMILAR.

Bonnie catches on Mike's method of self preservation: His blank expression.

It's a lie.

One Bonnie can see through easily as Mike's actions don't reflect a state of someone who is calm.

Asking Bonnie to stay close and holding his hand, coming to the realization Mike feels safer with Bonnie for whatever reason.

He purposely does a creepy at the cameras freaking out Jeremy Fitzgerald, who isn't interested in "Being a witness".

A hand pokes out from behind Mike. One that isn't Bonnie's.

OH HI GOLDEN FREDDY'S MASSIVE BLEEDING FLOATING HEAD. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU!?

Mike and Jeremy seem to not notice their presence.

Jeremy is terrified of Bonnie however. Mike reassures Bonnie is a non issue as Bonnie pats Mike's head firmly mockingly saying "Hi Jeremy"

Bonnie continues to mess with Mike's hair rather childishly while Mike seems unphased. Bonnie's antics aren't something he really seems to mind.

He bribes Bonnie with more cigarettes to watch the cams while he discusses things with Jeremy. Jeremy himself lamenting Mike is WEIRD.

Jeremy quickly realizes Mike isn't completely insane and starts rambling about his terrible experiences at Freddy's.

Noting the Nightguards are really redundant considering the robot security.

His comment about the robots being "Evil" pisses Bonnie off.

The person who shares Mike's name is brought up again we now know him as "Michael". Jeremy is eager to get onto dayshift with this individual and Mike also wants to get in touch with him.

This "Michael" figure apparently works in the rental place below the main building and not much is known what goes on down there...how odd. Jeremy seems a bit upset by this fact.

#fnaf creations au #fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #fnaf 1 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #jeremy fitzgerald #mike schmidt #bonnie #freddy fazbear #fnaf chica

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sterkeyra · 10 months

Text

PLUST - Wataru Eboshi Main Story 1 - Walkthrough + CGs

Wataru's route finally came out in JP and I couldn't resist reading it, after a friend showed me a summary of it. It contained some of the drama I was expecting but I was still surprised by a few things! While PLUST overall is rather slowburn, Wataru is more taking steps a bit further. Though you know how it is when the guy shows you affection early - Drama is still about to happen.

It was interesting to see how they used his brother, though i'm not much of a fan of it. We finally also got to see his fan that was not present in the other guys routes.

.... and you might become a fan too if you check out the spoilers beneath the cut.

SPOILER!! Screenshots, Special Campaign, Walkthrough and CGs below

Wataru is the leader of PLUST and a bit like the mum-friend of the guys, as he manages everything, cooks and has an open ear for them. However behind his mature facade he is also insecure. Since he's taking on all the talking to the directors, appears as a weather man in a weather forecast program on tv etc, he doesn't have much time to practice and falls behind, he also does not have a talent he excels in like the others and it starts to show in the statistics. Wataru himself thinks PLUST doesn't need him or they might be even better without him so he thinks about quitting (which was more than obvious in his censored bubble). He approaches MC earnestly to make her his fan, but there are no feelings involved at first. He greatly regrets this for the rest of the story as MC seems to shine brighter and brighter and helps him out of his misery to boot!

Eboshi Bros!

Kakeru makes his entrance next to Wataru as well and sincerely cheers for his brother. MC gets to work with both of them and Kakeru is a sweetheart. The good looks and fame certainly run in the family too as he's a famous soccer player. Compared to Wataru he is more forward and honest about his feelings, so he's giving Wataru a hard time when he gets interested in MC.

Special Collaboration Campaign - Tsugaru (Her Love in the Force)

If you unlock the SHE within the first few weeks after release, you are able to unlock a story where Wataru and MC meet Tsugaru in the streets. For a campaign story it has a decent length with 2 chapters. Wataru and MC are on their way to the shopping mall where they meet Tsugaru. MC is of course flabbergasted by both of them and the clearly tease her on purpose with it. Also YES Tsugaru messes up PLUSTs name in absolute Tsugaru fashion. He is just that bad with (band) names. He even mixes up Wataru with Claude who he met before and joined the fanclub of haha. But the story also has a more serious background as Tsugaru distracts them from going to the mall as there was a bomb warning.

To unlock it in time feel free to use this guide. You can unlock the SHE and the campaign story without hearts, you wont get the CGs however.

WALKTHROUGH - Heartless

Ch 1: C C: What do you think

Ch2: C C: Hide it with your body

Ch3: C C: Push him back by his chest Ch4: B B: Hide behind him

Ch5: C A: Let him replace | 6 ❤️ C: Turn him down Ch6: B A: Why did you kiss | 15 ❤️+ CG, B: Freeze

Ch7: A A: Finger Hearts

Ch8: B B: Ryoga should open the door

Ch9: B A: Blocked by Wataru (His Pov) | 11 ❤️ B: Don't exchange contacts

Ch10: C A: Indulge in Wataru's kindness | 15 ❤️ C: Push Away

Ch11: B A: Touch Wataru | 18 ❤️ + CG B: Cover face with blanket

Ch12: B B: Wataru should leave first

Ch13: B A:Talk to Wataru | 16 ❤️ B: Talk to Ryoga

Ch14: A A: I don't know

Ch15: C C: Press the shutter

Ch16: C A: Take Wataru hand & go home with him | 11 ❤️ C: Don't take any hands, we should go together

Ch17: B (no rise in affection no matter what) A: Listen to him | 19 ❤️ B: Don't listen to him

Ch18: C C: I didn't meet anyone

Ch19: B A: I want to hear how you feel | 21 ❤️ B: I won't ask Ch20: C C: Rice Ball / Onigiri

Ch21: C A: I want to know Wataru opinion (his pov) | 22 ❤️

Ch22: C C: Still thinking

Ch23: B A: To Watarus mouth | 23 ❤️ B: To Claudes mouth

Ch24: C A: Stare at Wataru | 25 ❤️+ CG C: Look at the reaction of the audience

Ch25: B Accept sleeping together | 26 ❤️ + CG Try to escape

SHE Bonus Stories: 27 ❤️

Cost of just unlocking SHE right away: 65 Hearts SHE Heart Cost Total: 255

And finally the CGs. Enjoy!

I didn't expect that all this would happen in his Main Story 1 given that PLUST is more of a slowburn title and Wataru is already much closer to MC than the other guys. I'm very curious what they will deliver to us in Kotohas route in a few weeks! As basically Suzumus twin he was the guy I was most curious in next to Wataru :D

#voltage inc #otome #plust loving u so true #plust #wataru eboshi #plust wataru #l365 #takaomi tsugaru #her love in the force #hlitf #yes you finally get Tsugaru content from me again :D

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gnomeniche · 2 years

Text

dhmis human / normal world au thoughts

same au from here. no pics this time bc i don’t feel like drawing right now.

ft. red’s weird videos, arguments over youtube influencing, yellow’s metaverse-obsessed computer professor and classmate, yellow’s shitty dad, and random fun facts about these guys’ backgrounds. i’m getting silly with it

red’s weird videos

the other two know red makes weird short films but they don’t actually know what they’re like until he forgets to lock his room one day and yellow, curious, takes a peek and comes out yelling at duck that there’s bloodied viscera covered in glitter all over red’s desk. and he comes home and has to clarify to his panicking housemates that it’s not real meat and it’s for one of his videos. i know i said he wants to work on children’s tv but i mean it in like. the flapjack sense. something weird and fun and a little creepy.

even though yellow is creeped out at first he gets over it. he actually gets really into it and begs to help out. red eventually lets these two help on One project. yellow has really good ideas for like, aesthetics and the stuff that he does is really kooky and colorful. he is doing computer stuff for his major but he is also artistically inclined.

duck tries to make music for the short and it’s not, like, good, but red decides it fits the weird vibe he’s going for so he uses it anyway. duck is the least artistbrained of the trio but he is living with two artistbrained mfs so he wants to participate in like, his own mean and loud way.

yewchewb influencing

also when duck finds out that red posts stuff to youtube he is FLABBERGASTED by how red could succeed as an influencer and not HIM even though he’s tried multiple times. red has to explain that he is not an influencer, he’s a weird short film maker that has a tiny patreon. duck is like well that’s silly you have to build a good parasocial relationship to succeed online. red is like i think you’ve misunderstood that term. duck is like whichever way you slice it i’m more charismatic! and red is like well it’s a good thing i don’t put my voice or face online then. duck asks why not and red responds that he has a horrible stage presence and also his mouth is all fucked up. duck is like well i’d like looking at your face and red is like. really?

and there’s a long silence where both of them wonder if something lgbt just happened in their weird conversation until duck is like anyway being an influencer is— and red is like okay we’re done talking now and leaves to go edit his vids.

yellow the computer boy ft. colin and warren

speaking of yellow’s computer stuff colin is probably, like, one of yellow’s professors at college. he’s a nice dude to hang out with but he sucks ass at teaching. he’s way too into the metaverse like bro shut up about the future of digital living and teach your class. warren is in this same class but he’s so into the metaverse shit. he keeps trying to get too friendly with yellow and yellow dissociates every time they talk.

he invites himself over to the guys’ house bc he’s pushy and yellow is not fast enough to say no. by the end of the night warren has pissed off both the other two so badly that duck is about to get into a physical altercation with him (at this point the other two have explained why crypto is bad to him so he does not bond with warren over that) and red is considering throwing some fake blood packets at him. warren tells yellow that his friends are assholes and he’s never coming over again. yellow thanks his friends profusely for this.

eventually warren gets kicked out of colin’s class. bc even the metaverse cannot make someone like an annoying man

roy comes to visit

roy rarely shows up but for once he announces that he is coming and yellow is so so so excited for the first time his dad gets to meet the new friends. he spends all day getting the other two to help him clean up and when roy arrives he tries to get him to hang out and play some computer games but all roy does is come in, look around to make sure nothing’s too broken, stare creepily/disapprovingly at the other two, and leave without saying a single word.

yellow says he’s just happy his dad was here but he’s clearly upset and hides out in his room. duck calls roy many names to try and cheer yellow up and yellow gets mad at him about it and they yell at each other and don’t speak for the rest of the night. they make up the next day tho. red ends up being the one who gets yellow to open up bc he’s generally more tactful abt his dislike of roy and also he and yellow have shitty emotionally distant family solidarity.

fun facts section:

yellow and roy look nothing alike and the other two are confused when roy shows up like wait you guys are related? this is also the strongest evidence that lesley is not his biomom because he looks nothing like her either. where did he get it from

yellow Did fall in with a cult once for like a month bc i need to parallel everything from the series. he got out though but not before getting cult married and then cult divorced. i actually think yellow has had a bunch of weird brief experiences in his life that he brings up in passing and then when the other two stare at him he learns that those aren’t just things that happen to people. how is it possible for one man to have been caught up in so many hijinks

red has a shitty emotionally distant family BUT he Is 100% the cool gay relative to his younger cousins. they’re the only ones who get along with him. at some point the three guys go to red’s family reunion and the other two decide to absolutely ruin the party when they see how rude his family is to him.

the other guys do not let red choose the movie for movie night except during spooky season bc he always brings either the weirdest experimental film you will ever see or an episode of an obscure children’s show from the 1950s that gives off massive analog horror vibes but which he finds delightful. i think your tastes are great red and i would love to watch with you

i think yellow’s name in this au is dennis bc i always liked that hc. dennis gold? gould? color puns n shit. i dunno if i wanna go fanon names for the other two. yknow, harry and robin. but either way “red” is what people call red in this universe even tho that isn’t his real name. duck is not called duck though. that would be silly.

and that’s all i have for you folks today. thanks for making it through All That

#dhmis #dhmis au #am.txt #fanfic #i guess? it’s just a bunch of ideas scribbled down #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #god i hope this doesn’t go into those tags but i want to tag them for organization purposes #fluffybird #only slightly #dhmis normal au

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braindeadmaggot · 2 years

Note

For the SFW ship ask thingy: Chopper x Bepo

SFW version (get the template here)

1. Who is the grumpiest in the morning?

BEPO - well, technically neither but Bepo can get pretty cranky when he wakes up sweaty 🥵 Chopper is the same but because of his smaller stature, he doesn't get overheated like Bepo.

2. Who worries more when the other is sick/hurt?

CHOPPER - Absolutely Chopper. 10,000% everyday. You have an itch in your throat? He's got the lozenges. Got some stiffness in your shoulder? He's there with the menthol balm to massage it away. Feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded? He's got a bowl of mixed nuts and dry fruit for you to bring up your blood sugar. If that doesn't work he'll perform the Semont Maneuver on you to reset the crystals in your ears (< I do this often for my mom because she has chronic vertigo)

3. Who plays pranks on the other?

BEPO - it's not very often but on the days they're both feeling playful and they're just goofing off, Bepo will hide behind doors and around corners and jump scare Chopper. Chopper tries to do it back but it ends up being soooooo cute, Bepo can't help but snuggle him to death. Sometimes Chopper will try out one of Usopp's pranks on Bepo but it's usually a failure but Bepo pretends like it worked because c'mon.

4. Who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa?

CHOPPER - whether it's "watch this show with me" or "let's play video games" or "we had so much fun playing in the snow, let's enjoy our hot cocoa on the sofa together" Chopper is always DTS (Down TO Snug) 🤗

5. Who insists on creating nicknames for the other?

NEITHER - They just use their names but they will call each other usually dude, bro, and man, but they also say buddy, guy, friend and pal just as often (think the Canadians in South Park since they're both Canadian ya know 🤣 unless Oda-sensei reveals Bepo to be Russian in our world, then he'll call Chopper his comrade)

6. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

CHOPPER - He says this on December 25th because Bepo is the only one to give him both birthday AND Christmas gifts and all of them were really cool and amazing and exactly what he needed. Bepo is very thoughtful and Chopper was so moved that he just blurted it out. Bepo was flabbergasted at first because it was in front of all their friends too and he couldn't help but say it back due to the pressure. The perfect bro-mance 🤝

7. Who’s the messiest one?

BEPO - Chopper's medical background forces him to be super tidy and sterile. He puts everything back where it belongs in its special place and cleans up after himself right away. Bepo on the other hand is an artist and while he is organized with his supplies, he creates a huge mess while he works and usually lets crap lie around for a few days before actually picking it up (Captain Procrastinate)

8. Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA?

BEPO - Bepo is very bashful and when he sees Chopper being cute he can't help but blush his face off 😳 So when Chopper gives him treats, thanks him wholeheartedly and (especially) says 'I love you', he panics and becomes an utter mess. He's completely smitten and his friends never let him live it down.

9. Who’s the funniest drunk?

CHOPPER - VERY low tolerance. Even though he eats a full fat, high protein, heavy carb meal before drinking, it still absorbs into his blood way too quickly and he's already scream singing karaoke and dancing with his shirt off 🕺 before he's finished his first beer ()

10. Who texts the most?

CHOPPER - MEMES. All the memes. And TikTok. Any medical pun he can find, he sends to Bepo. But sometimes he's a little too helpful and essentially MANSPLAINS every joke until it's not funny anymore but while most of Chopper's friends silently hate that (they're in a group chat, he's basically Boyle from B99) Bepo appreciates it because then he doesn't have to web search it.

11. Who has the most embarrassing taste in music?

BOTH - They both listen to dubstep, nightcore, teen pop and country rap 🤠 (except Old Town Road, that's actually really good. But Cotton Eye Joe?? NO!!!) anything that they can dance to and fun to sing at karaoke night (though everyone hates them for it, they're too cute to boo) (btw I like Cotton Eye Joe lol)

12. Who reads the most?

BOTH - Chopper reads more than Bepo but they're both reading and studying to advance their careers. Chopper is a pre-med student working on becoming a family medicine physician (Like Doctor Mike!) and Bepo is an art curator and is always brushing up on his history (lol puns), he specializes in cartography and map restoration. He draws webtoons for fun (they're about ant/arctic animals 🐺⚪🐻🦌🐧)

13. Who’s better with kids?

CHOPPER - as a family medicine physician, he'll need to work with a lot of kids and babies so he gets a lot of practice dealing with kids at his big brother's day care (can you guess who that is?) Kids make Bepo nervous but they like him all the same. They love that he's big and strong and want to climb on him, which makes his even more nervous because he doesn't want to get sued for child endangerment (Bepo also has a big brother, he's a school bus driver 🚌 [can you guess who it is???])

14. Who’s the one that fixes things around the house?

BEPO - he took shop class in high school and learned a lot there, plus he sometimes helps his big bro to do maintenance on the school buses. He's a pretty handy fella.

15. Who cooks and who cleans up?

BOTH - They both cook (they both are bad at it, but it's edible and nutritious) and they both clean up. Chopper likes to get the tidying up finished quickly or he can't relax, so Bepo pitches in without argument. They're both surprisingly really good at making desserts (they both have big sweet teeth 🧁🍧)

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years

Text

Hug-o-gram | Yoongi

→ summary:

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K → a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherie because she’s epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well... yoobie got me Good... anyway here’s more yoongi fluff bc apparently i’m a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy... appa yip yip

Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesn’t let it get to him. He doesn’t make it his business to listen to opinions that don’t immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it “selective hearing.” Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:

“This automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,” Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.

“Yeah,” is Yoongi’s verbose reply. He also has his mouth agape, his prone body lying side by side with his roommate of four years in their small living room. Their roomba (another one of Seokjin’s good ideas) cleans all around them, its steady whirring serving as their only source of background music. “Lowkey though, I think our position isn’t quite… as optimized as it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks, as he drapes his leg over Yoongi’s. His movement jostles the surrounding popcorn halo around them, as most of the food had missed their mouths by a couple of centimeters. At this point, the roomba has probably eaten more of the popcorn than the two of them combined.

“Nothing,” Yoongi shrugs, or whatever might be the lying down equivalent of a shrug. Some of the popcorn on his chest falls down, only to be quickly devoured by roomba-chi. Yoongi stares at the ceiling, tracing shapes out of the cracks that Seokjin had accidentally made when he tried using a pogo stick indoors. He points up, catching Seokjin’s attention. “Hey, hyung. Doesn’t that look a bit like Y/N?”

Seokjin squints. “You mean the mysterious brown stain near the lights? I think the toilet from the elderly couple upstairs might have leaked that.”

“No, you dipshit. The squiggly curve over there. It reminds me of her smile.” Yoongi says. There’s a stupid dopey grin on his face and Seokjin wants nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Seokjin groans, turning over to envelop Yoongi in a sweaty half-armed hug. The buttery residue on his arms and stomach leaves something to be desired, but Yoongi doesn’t scoot away. He only continues to sigh dreamily, staring mindlessly at the image of you that only his lovelorn brain can imagine.

Seokjin slaps Yoongi in the face. “Dude, get a fucking grip,” he grouses, giving Yoongi a serious look. The younger doesn’t break out of his trance, further irritating him. “Will you stop pining in front of my popcorn? It’s seriously making roomba-chi lose her appetite!”

To his credit, roomba-chi did seem to be slowing down, though that could also be because it had overloaded with popcorn and was seconds away from exploding. Wouldn’t be the first time, but Seokjin always managed to find a way to save roomba-chi from imminent death. She was like a daughter to him.

“Hyung, you know I can’t. I just… God, I really like her, you know?”

“That’s the third time you said that within the last hour. Believe me, I know.” Seokjin groans, shoving Yoongi away. He sits up, reaching over to the popcorn machine and switching it off. He grabs a fistful of fallen popcorn from the ground and shoves it inside Yoongi’s mouth. “There. That should shut you up.”

“Aw weawwy wike hew, hwung.”

“And yet, you still haven’t done anything after four years,” Seokjin tuts, finally standing up. He stretches his limbs, his joints creaking youthfully. He grabs his phone from the coffee table, nearly dropping it from the butteriness of his fingers. The clock reads 4:32 PM, which means–

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbows. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

“Hyung, let me come with you to work today,” Yoongi decides, walking over Seokjin’s prone body to their shoe rack. He slides into a pair of sneakers, his harried movements unusual for his customary lethargicness. He grabs a coat from its hanger, stomping his feet to get Seokjin to move faster. “C’mon! We have hugs to deliver.”

“Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Simpimus Prime.” Seokjin gets back up to his feet, skipping over to him. An absolutely feral grin is stretched upon his face. “Am I hearing what you’re saying? Are you offering… to deliver hugs with yours truly? Are you finally going to take up my offer to be an employee at Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service?”

“Of course not,” Yoongi scoffs, but his shifting eyes betray him. He fidgets in place, refusing to return Seokjin’s eager gaze. “I just… wanted to go out for once. Yeah.”

“Yoongi.”

“What?”

“You haven’t left this apartment other than to go to class in over a month. You never go out. You’re an indoor cat!”

“I’m not a fucking cat,” Yoongi hisses, like a cat. “And of course I go out! There was that one time I went outside to pick up our food delivery last week.”

Judging from Seokjin’s unimpressed stare, Yoongi’s excuse doesn’t cut it. Yoongi flaps his arms around, defeated. “Okay, fine! I rarely go out! Screw me and the bounteous crapload of assignments I have due! It’s not my fault I don’t have the time to socialize and have fun. What do you want from me?”

What Seokjin wants is to push a confession out of Yoongi, not because he needs the confirmation, but mostly because he just wants to annoy Yoongi and say “I told you so!” He’s also pretty cute when he’s all blushy and tsundere whenever he talks about you. Should he film him and sell the footage on eboys.bb? He’s certain that goth boy over here would make a pretty penny.

“You like krabby patties, don’t you Squidward?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Yoongi sniffs, nose upturned. He opens the door, not looking behind him to see Seokjin’s triumphant expression. “C’mon. Y/N’s last class of the day ends in a few minutes and we might catch her before she leaves the Science Building.”

Seokjin snorts. He is quick to slip his own coat on and he follows soon after. He locks their door shut, hopping over to Yoongi and matching his shorter-legged pace. “Yeah. Because you totally just know her schedule at the top of your head. You know, like a normal person.”

Yoongi ignores him. He trudges on, each step filled with determination as they make their way to Seokjin’s beat-up truck. Seokjin skips alongside him, observing the younger boy and placing bets inside his mind. The drive to campus isn’t that long as it only takes around 10 minutes to get there, but Seokjin guesses that Yoongi’s defenses will begin to chip away only 3 minutes into the drive.

He’ll start to realize the gravity of the situation, the cogs in his smooth and slushy excuse of a brain slowly comprehend what he’s about to witness. He’ll first think about how 1) he’s going to see you and that never helps his poor dainty grandpa heart and 2) he’s going to see you hugging Seokjin as he reads to you the short love confession from your anonymous Romeo. Seokjin bets that after 8 minutes, Yoongi will start to break out into a sweat, leaving gross perspiration marks on his good car seat leather.

After exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds (Seokjin was keeping track of the time on his dashboard), Yoongi’s face turns an unflattering shade of green. “Dude. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Yoongi had originally offered to drive the two of them to campus, but Seokjin had the good foresight to refuse. Had Yoongi been the one on the wheel, he would’ve brought them back home in an instant due to nerves. So instead, Seokjin speeds up, ignoring Yoongi’s soft whimpers of defeat.

“Too bad, but there is no turning back now. I have six deliveries today and I am not putting my livelihood on the line just because your balls have magically shrunk in size,” Seokjin snickers. He glances at Yoongi from the corner of his eye and feels the slightest touch of pity for the pathetic fool beside him. “But if it really makes you want to shit yourself from anxiety, we could save Y/N for last. Though, on second thought… That could also prolong your misery, which I will always be up for.”

“God, shut up,” Yoongi groans, slamming his head on the dashboard. Seokjin continues undeterred as he pulls into the campus parking lot, waiting for his friend to make up his damn mind for once in his life. He supposes that he is being a little harsh on Yoongi, but there are only so many sad love songs he can listen to without going completely insane.

Aren’t you tired of being nice? The demon on his shoulder cajoles, shoving the corpse of his angel counterpart somewhere down a ditch. Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

And who is Seokjin to deny his impulsive needs anyway?

“No, let’s… just get this over with,” Yoongi decides, head still smushed against his dashboard. He doesn’t make any move to get out of the car, not even when Seokjin shuts off the engine and makes a show of “leaving” Yoongi behind.

“Okay, lover boy. You have ten seconds to get your butt into high gear before I’m leaving you behind. And you should know that I’m not above playing dirty and giving Y/N the sweetest fucking hug of her life that will make her forget anyone else exists in this world, so you better start moving before I–”

Like lightning, Yoongi scrambles out of the car faster than if it had caught on fire (and Seokjin’s car has exploded before and Yoongi certainly did not seem as bothered to escape than he does right now.) He nearly trips over himself in his haste, getting caught by the car door and nearly receiving a concrete facial to boot. He straightens up with as much dignity as he can muster (which he doesn’t have very much of, if at all.) Seokjin is kind enough not to mention anything, but the shit-eating grin on his face is enough to make Yoongi bristle.

They exit the parking lot, looking to the world like the sun and moon had turned human for the day. Min Yoongi, with his all-black attire and gaunt appearance, is heavily juxtaposed with the man who appears to have been vomited on by a rainbow. They walk side-by-side together, accustomed to the stares that often come their way when they go out in public.

“I just can’t believe we’re doing this,” Yoongi moans for the umpteenth time, his movements stilted like a robot. His footsteps look heavily disjointed like his knees were beginning to rust. His arms swing like a pendulum, adding to the unnaturalness of his motions. Basically, he looks like a fucking idiot.

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Yoongi snaps. Seokjin startles a bit, realizing belatedly that he’d said that out loud. Not that he cares. Yoongi continues, “I’m not the one wearing a fucking cardboard sign that looks like a toddler made it with macaroni and glitter!”

“Hey, Taehyung told me it looked good,” Seokjin sniffs, fingering the macaroni pieces dejectedly. “I don’t need to hear an opinion from a Music major.”

“Shut up, Business major. No one likes you fucking snakes,” Yoongi retorts, crossing his arms. “Your definition of fun is going on LinkedIn and using Excel sheets.”

Distracted by their own quarrel, neither of them notice the sound of the large clock in the middle of campus that chimes every hour, signaling that it was already 5 PM. A few minutes later, hoards of students begin to leave university for the day, the walkways beginning to fill with people as they head home. Amidst the chattering and bustling of everyone trying to get out of the crowd, it is hard to notice that you are also one of the hundreds of people finishing your last class of the day.

But Yoongi notices, as he always does. Call it Y/N intuition, or whatever. “There,” Yoongi points you out over dozens of heads. Seokjin can hardly spot you, but he trusts Yoongi’s weird Y/N-dar to find you without fail. People have begun to notice the two of them, most of whom were whispering excitedly when they notice that Seokjin is in his work attire.

“Oh my god, someone’s getting a hug-o-gram! I wonder who…”

“Have you ever ordered one? I got one for my current girlfriend last month and that’s how we got together.”

“I’ve always wanted to send one, but the prices are insane! Fuck them business students and their capitalist ways.”

“Screw sending a hug to someone else! I wanna order a hug for me. Kim Seokjin is a hot piece of ass.”

(Yoongi swears the last comment had sounded eerily like Seokjin himself, but the older boy’s mouth hadn’t moved in the last minute.)

“Alright, Yoongi. Here’s the plan,” Seokjin leans closer to Yoongi, stage whispering into his ear. Everyone within a six-foot radius is eagerly eavesdropping, not even bothering to pretend that they aren’t. It’s common knowledge that Seokjin basks in their attention, anyway. Yoongi rolls his eyes, urging him to get it over with.

“Y/N is over there, right? Well, I have to send a hug to this guy named Mark Lee too, who just so happens to be over there,” Seokjin points behind them, in the opposite direction of where Y/N was heading, “so here’s my proposition. You go over to Y/N and deliver the hug for me, while I go catch up to Mark so that we can kill one bird with two stones!”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi wheezes, pushing Seokjin away from him. His eyes bug out. “Are you insane? I am not doing that. And the phrase is ‘killing two birds with one stone,’ you fucking idiot.”

“Same shit, Shakespeare! Who cares about numbers!” Seokjin exclaims, exasperated. “Listen, would you rather you hug Mark and I hug Y/N?”

“I would much rather prefer that I stick my whole fist up your anus,” Yoongi seethes.

“Interesting proposition, but maybe for a later time,” Seokjin says, not missing a beat. “Listen, dude. The longer we prolong this little bitchfest you have going on, the farther away Y/N is gonna get. You know I will stop at nothing to deliver her hug anyway, so would you rather you miss your chance right now when I am so magnanimously offering you a shot at getting closer to your crush?”

Even though Yoongi feels like his insides were slowly turning into mashed potatoes, he knows that he had already made a decision long before they left the house. Seokjin is right; this is a good opportunity for him, whether he is willing to admit it out loud. Perhaps it is just because it is Seokjin of all people who is egging him on that preprogrammed him into thinking that this was a bad idea. In all seriousness, it was just a hug, nothing fancy. It isn’t like Yoongi was going to have to kiss you––

(His heart contracts and Yoongi wonders if he’s having a stroke. The thought of your soft lips connecting with his is enough to cause the wind to knock out of his chest. God, Yoongi is so screwed.)

“Why must I always feel as though I am a snail and God is personally salting me,” Yoongi groans, stepping away from Seokjin and heading your way. Behind him, Seokjin hollers in what he assumes is friendly support, but it only further antagonizes Yoongi. The absolute buffoon waves enthusiastically from behind him, a beaming grin almost ready to split his face in two. Yoongi flips him off without looking back.

God fucking dammit. The closer that Yoongi is to approaching you, the stronger the urge to just evaporate like ice cream on hot concrete becomes. He can feel himself perspiring from every corner of his body and he just hopes that his black attire will do well to mask the slimy creature that he is underneath his clothing.

This is all Seokjin’s fault, Yoongi reminds himself. If he hadn’t started this stupid hugging service in the first place, then no one would have ordered a hug for you in the first place. Then Yoongi wouldn’t have to be in this stupid predicament either!

But you could’ve ordered a hug for her if you wanted to, says the annoying part of his brain – the same part that’s always been a little bit too hopeful for Yoongi’s liking. The whispers continue, And she wouldn’t even know it would be you! But more importantly…

“Seokjin wouldn’t know either,” Yoongi huffs irritably because he knows it’s true. The biggest thing stopping him from ever making a move on you, other than his debilitating fear of rejection and heartbreak, is the fact that he’d rather explode into spores than for Seokjin to find out that he’d used his “genius” business idea to get the girl of his dreams.

He’s afraid that one day, Seokjin would magically develop telepathic powers (a fear that Yoongi feels that the majority of the human population should also share) and find out that Yoongi doesn’t actually think his hug-o-gram service is dumb. It’s actually really cute, and Yoongi hates to admit that the success rate of his service is nearly perfect in terms of getting couples together.

But Yoongi is a strong (read: stubborn) man; he’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin the satisfaction of seeing his business work out for his seemingly hopeless case. Which brings him to the present–

You’re standing by the entrance of the Sciences building. You are dressed nicely as always; Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen you in anything remotely slobby, not even a pair of sweats like any regular uni student. You always look a little bit business proper: the epitome of someone who should be on the student council.

You’re speaking to someone, a younger male student by the looks of it. The hairs on Yoongi’s neck stand at attention and, God forbid, did he just fucking growl? Did he make that sound? By the looks of the students carefully navigating their way around him, Yoongi surmises that he did make that sound. Geez, is he some sort of animal? Is he going to turn into those feral stan accounts on Twitter that salivate over their K-pop boys like it’s their job? He hopes not.

But what if that’s the kid who sent the hug–

Yoongi shuts up his brain before he can let it finish. No, he can’t let himself go down that path. It’ll only cause him to self-combust right then and there, and he isn’t exactly keen on letting you see his entrails anytime soon. That would be the least cool thing to do, he decides. And so, with his brain turned off, he walks over to you, arms swinging robotically by his sides as he forces himself closer.

“Oh thank you so much, Y/N! You’ve been a real help to our club, you know?” The boy (Yoongi can’t believe they’re letting toddlers into university these days!) says, his eyes glittering with an ambition that still hasn’t been killed by the all-consuming dread that comes with university.

You laugh lightly, the sound causing butterflies to flutter excitedly in Yoongi’s chest. “No worries, Soobin. I’m glad I could be of help. If the editorial board needs any more help, don’t be shy to shoot me a message, alright?”

Soobin nods enthusiastically, his head bobbing up and down so quickly that Yoongi was afraid his neck would snap. “No worries, Y/N! Have a good rest of your week!” He waves a cheery goodbye, springing away with his numerous anime keychains on his backpack jingling softly in his wake.

“What a cute kid,” you sigh. You look incredibly fond, and Yoongi hates the bitter coil swimming in the pit of his stomach. That feeling soon fizzles out when you finally turn to face Yoongi. Your eyebrows shoot up, but your expression quickly morphs into one of pleasant surprise. Yoongi’s heart stops for just a moment, feet turning cold. “Yoongi! Oh my goodness, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen you! How’s it going?”

Let’s play a game, shall we? How many of Yoongi’s nervous ticks can you spot within the next five minutes? Think of this as the easiest game of Where’s Waldo ever!

“Hnng,” Yoongi stammers, his hand immediately going to scratch the back of his neck. His cheeks pinken, pupils shaking in every different direction as they try to focus on anything but you. It always feels like he’s standing way too close to the sun when he’s around you, hardly able to keep his gaze focused on you. He chooses to stare resolutely at your chin, but even your fucking chin was impossibly cute.

Seriously? Yoongi is a walking shitshow! His inner voice comes back, but this time it sounds uncannily like his roommate. Come on, buddy. Just say hi… You know, like a normal person. “H… Hey, Y/N.”

Success count: 1 point for the Yogurt Machine!

Even though Yoongi felt like he was living his worst nightmare, you still looked every bit like his favorite daydream. You are all smiles, seemingly unperturbed by Yoongi’s slow, embarrassing demise. “It’s so good to see you! Midterms haven’t been too hard on you, I hope?”

“I’ve been better,” he says. Better now that you’re here, he leaves unsaid. God, can you imagine if he said that out loud?

Your mouth drops open, soft cherry blossoms blooming across your cheeks. “Um, what did you say?” you squeak, embarrassed. But certainly not as embarrassed as the boy in front of you.

Yoongi stops breathing. He did not say that aloud, had he? Judging by the awkward silence stretching between the two of you, the signs are pointing to: yes. Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygo–– “Er, what I mean to say is,” Yoongi stutters through his sentence, his entire body flushing fire engine red like it’s nobody’s business. He must look like Satan’s spanked ass right now. “I… I’m here to deliver a hug!”

Confusion quickly replaces the shock on your face. You tilt your head, brows scrunching up cutely. “A hug?” you ask.

“R-right,” Yoongi says, waving his arms around because he has nothing else better to do. He gestures vaguely in the opposite direction, where Seokjin had left to find his other clients. “I’m, uhh… Helping my roommate. Have you heard of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram service?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hop excitedly in place, looking to all the world like the cutest thing in the universe. Yoongi thinks you should be classified as a public hazard, what with how you’re somehow able to give him diabetes just from standing next to him. “I totally heard about that! I’ve always wanted to send a hug, but I’ve always been a little shy.”

That piques Yoongi’s interest immediately. You wanted to send a hug? But to who? He unconsciously clenches his jaw, and he can feel a vein pop up near his neck. He forces himself to smile, but he knows it probably looks more like a grimace. “Oh really? That’s… I didn’t know you had a crush on somebody.”

Yoongi is too busy wallowing in his own self-pity puddle that he misses the way you gaze shyly up at him through your eyelashes, your hands clasped behind your back. “Y-yea… I don’t really go around telling it to just anybody,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. You clear your throat. “So, are you here to deliver a hug or something?”

Nothing gets past you, huh? Yoongi swallows thickly as he twiddles his thumbs. He still can’t bear to look at you head-on, afraid that his emotions would be too obvious if he did. (Who is he kidding… He knows he’s fucking obvious, and yet you never seem to get the picture!) “Yea, I am. I’m here to deliver one to you, actually.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction, but he does notice the way your entire body stiffens. His mind immediately starts to run a minute, trying to guess why you’d suddenly gone stock still.

Did you know who your secret admirer was already? Or perhaps, were you just thoroughly shocked to receive one at all? That can’t be it… You’re the campus sweetheart! Surely it’s much weirder that it has taken eons for you to get your first hug… Or perhaps, are you so disgusted by the thought of him delivering the hug? Oh my god, what if you didn’t want him to hug you? Shit, this entire thing is a terrible idea! How did Seokjin ever convince him to do this stupid shit and get his heartbroken in the process? He swears he’s going to shove ten firecrackers up his ass the next time he sees him––

“Um, Yoongi?” You’re staring worriedly at him, your hand semi-raised as if you were about to wave in front of him. Did you say something? He must look like a fucking prick to you! He shakes his head, trying desperately to get his mind back into his body. Why must he be cursed with inner monologue disease? What is he, some sort of shoujo manga male protagonist?

“Sorry about that. I’ve been a little spacey these days,” he laughs, but even he can hear the panic laced in his voice. He sounds just on the edge of being hysterical. “Ahaha… What were you saying?”

“I was just… shocked?” You giggle softly, making Yoongi cry internally. You smirk, mischief glittering in your eyes. “I just never imagined you’d be the type to… I don’t know…”

“Willingly hug people for the sake of capitalism? I feel you,” Yoongi snorts, forgetting for a moment who he’s talking to. “Believe me, I’d rather drop dead than allow Seokjin to use me for his stupid business venture.”

“Then why are you delivering a hug to me now?” you ask, still smiling.

“Hnng,” Yoongi’s tongue feels like it’s grown two sizes all of a sudden. He wheezes, choking on his own spit as he’s caught off guard by your question. “W-well, I––”

“Just being a good friend, I’m guessing?” You’re full-on giggling now, barely trying to hide your mirth behind your hands. Yoongi understands now; you’re teasing him. He hates how amused you are by his awkwardness, but he loves the way your entire expression lights up, like you’re enjoying yourself by being with him.

“Let’s go with that,” Yoongi mumbles, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He has his head bowed, hoping that his unruly fringe can finally come in handy and hide the disastrous blush encompassing his face. “Right… I’ll just, umm…”

“Am I getting my hug today, or am I gonna have to take a rain check?” You laugh, slapping his shoulder in an attempt to help him shake off the awkward tension. It has the opposite intended effect, as Yoongi’s breath hitches imperceptibly at your proximity. You had taken a step closer, and Yoongi could smell the sweet perfume you always seemed to be wearing. Please don’t pop a boner right now. That would be super fucking creepy.

“You’re…” Yoongi hesitates, arms uselessly immobile by his sides. He doesn’t know if he can even get them to move at this point, as he has lost all motor skills the moment you had focused all your attention on him. It’s a miracle that his heart remembers to beat every so often. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go for it, okay?”

You nod, hands tucked neatly behind your back. “No need to be scared, Yoongi. I don’t bite,” you joke.

God, if you only knew about the dreams I’ve had of you. Yoongi hopes to all the deities from up above that he had not said that aloud, but you don’t seem to be disgusted, so he can only assume that his traitorous brain had disconnected with his mouth for the time being.

He shuffles closer to you, the warmth of your body closing in as he makes the grueling effort to lift his arms up to gently wrap themselves around you, but before he can even fully hug you––

You’re quick to reciprocate. With a small laugh, you wrap your own arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest with more force than Yoongi was expecting. He lets out a soft wheeze, mouth dropping open when he is assaulted by the smell of your fruity shampoo. His hands hover awkwardly above you, still unsure of where it’s okay to touch you without weirding you out.

You tilt your face up, eyes crinkling cutely by the sheer force of your grin. Both of your faces are only centimeters away from each other, and Yoongi could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired. His breathing stills as he becomes positively mesmerized by the beautiful sight in front of him. He doesn’t even hear the sound of phone camera shutters around him, as he is much too deeply focused on nothing but you, you, you.

“Hey, don’t half-ass your hug! Gimme a good ol’ bear hug!” you whine, nudging his elbows gently to get them to move. Snapped out of his reverie, Yoongi mechanically does as you say, his head completely empty of thoughts. He wraps his arms tightly around your shoulders, his wrist knocking slightly against the back of your head until you’re back to snuggling deep into his chest.

“Your laundry detergent smells nice,” you say, slightly muffled by his shirt. Yoongi lets out a breathy laugh, mostly out of disbelief more than anything. He can’t even begin to process anything right now; he feels like he’s reverted back into a single-celled organism.

“Thanks?” Yoongi squeaks, but you don’t seem to mind his awkward attempts at being a Normal Person™️. You crane your neck upwards so that you’re looking him directly in the eye. There’s a twinkle of mischief there, like you’re enjoying Yoongi’s flushed face a little too much. He honestly feels like he’s seconds away from exploding into tiny bite-sized pieces, and he fears that if you snuggle deeper into his chest, he might just do exactly that.

“So… Are we just supposed to hug for another ten minutes, or am I allowed to let go?”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize how long it’s been. You could’ve been hugging him for ten hours and he wouldn’t have known. Yoongi jerks away from you, nearly vaulting himself across campus by how quickly he lets you go. Thankfully, you don’t appear offended––you were more amused than anything. Yoongi has no idea how red he is right now; he feels like he could be blowing steam out of his ears, astounding anatomists everywhere by his peculiar talent.

“I just have to–” Yoongi pats his back pockets for his phone, clumsily pulling it out and looking for his text messages, “–read this message from your, um, secret admirer and then we’ll be good to go.”

“Great.” You nod at him enthusiastically. “Whenever you’re ready, Yoonie.”

Yoongi’s breath hitches right then, caught off guard by the nickname. Only you ever called him that, and it never fails to make Yoongi’s insides feel like molten lava every time you say it. “I… Yeah, here goes,” Yoongi mutters, trying his best to remember how to speak.

He recites the message with as much enthusiasm as he can manage, which is to say, not very much. He could probably read the phonebook with more zeal, but it’s hard to give it his all when the words feel like acid in his throat. He’s unconsciously clenching his jaw as he speaks, looking like a constipated gorilla. “...so, if you’re single and ready to #mingle, then––” Yoongi stops mid-sentence, staring resolutely at his phone screen with a grimace.

You blink confusedly. “Then?”

“Then nothing,” Yoongi finishes, pocketing his phone without an inch of remorse. “I don’t know what was up with that message, but somehow the letter got cut short. Sorry about that.”

“Huh, strange.” You shrug your shoulders, not bothering to question him.

Yoongi fist bumps himself mentally, though other people might disagree and say that he doesn’t deserve any type of congratulations, to which Yoongi says a big “fuck you!” to those imaginary haters. In the wise words of Kim Seokjin himself, “not everyone is worthy to receive your fucks, so it’s time to stop giving them.” (Kim, 2020)

“Well, that was fun! Thanks for delivering the hug to me, Yoonie,” you pinch Yoongi’s cheek, giggling when they turn even redder. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Don’t let those midterms kill ya!” You wave cheerily at him, walking past him and heading towards the bus stops. Yoongi stands frozen in place, the events of the last few minutes finally catching up to him and frying his brain beyond repair.

Oh my god, he fucking hugged you! Like, a good and genuine hug! You felt so warm and so soft and you smelled really good and it was more than he could ever imagine and just––

Yoongi’s brain is trying (and failing) to desperately parse the delayed barrage of information as it comes, but it’s hard for the little hamster running circles in his head when it has never had to run a day in its life. Yoongi’s body feels like it’s overheating even though the weather is nearing the start of winter, but that’s all thanks to you and the devastating effect you have on him.

In short, Yoongi machine has broken, and any sort of maintenance is going to be hard to come by at the moment.

Yoongi could have been standing in front of the Science building for an entire year and he wouldn’t have budged until a tornado in the form of Kim Seokjin arrived to knock him out of his brain dead state. Whistling lowly, the elder stops in front of the rigid mass of meat, an eyebrow quirked in exasperation. “Dude, nice rigor mortis cosplay. Like, yes girl, give us nothing!” he exclaims, slapping Yoongi back to consciousness.

Yoongi blinks rapidly, dazed like he’s woken up from a dream. “What? What’s happening?” he replies dumbly.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Yoongi. Did you finish delivering Y/N’s hug or what? I finished all my deliveries in the same time you had with Y/N, so I better hope to God you aren’t planning on applying to be an employee of mine, because you certainly have a long way to go before––”

“I hugged her,” Yoongi interrupts, eyes going glassy once more. His mouth is agape, and Seokjin can see a pool of saliva forming, ready to runneth over. He could see the rusted gears turning inside his dongsaeng’s head. “Oh my god, hyung. I fucking hugged her.”

“Yeah, and I hugged Taehyung Kim and felt his gigantic dick press into my stomach. You aren’t special,” Seokjin snorts, clasping Yoongi by the bicep. He drags him away, leading them to their parked car. “C’mon, Dampé. I’m tired and I wanna eat popcorn again.”

As they walk back to the parking lot, the campus roads are a lot less populated now that most students have gone home. Yoongi only then realizes how late it truly is and he vaguely wonders how long he had been stuck standing there before Seokjin had come to drag him back home. The sun has begun its daily descent, filling the courtyard with a warm glow and causing their shadows to grow longer as they trudge quietly to their car.

The campus is quiet enough that both of them hear the quiet buzz of Seokjin’s phone, despite him putting it on silent mode before he had gone on his hugging deliveries. He stops mid-step, causing Yoongi to bump his nose into his wide back. He yelps, shoving Seokjin forward in irritation.

“Why’d you fucking stop, you asshole?” Yoongi whines, his normal annoying personality resurfacing now that he’s begun to recover from your hug. He peers over Seokjin’s behemoth shoulders, squinting at his phone screen. “What? Another hug delivery?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow since I think she’s gone home for the day,” Seokjin says, his tone sounding slightly too delighted for comfort. “In fact, I know she’s gone home already.”

Yoongi stills, changing his focus onto the elder’s expression. He looks… too eager to receive a simple hug-o-gram request. A shiver shoots through Yoongi’s spine when he realizes how nefariously bastardous Seokjin’s smile has grown, the tips of his smirk curling upwards like a villain from a classic Disney animation.

“What?” Yoongi glares acidly at Seokjin, but the elder is unaffected. In fact, he seems to grow more pleased the more aggravated Yoongi becomes. “Spit it out! What’s got your prostate tickled?”

“Oh, nothing,” Seokjin singsongs, shoving his phone down the front of his pants, exactly where he knows Yoongi would never touch. “Just got an interesting new regular customer, is all.”

“A new regular?” Yoongi’s pitch heightens, the hairs on the back of his neck bristling in alarm (like a cat.) “Is it… Another request for… You know who?”

“I wasn’t aware Voldemort went to our university,” Seokjin teases, thoroughly enjoying Yoongi’s distress. “Though, if you’re talking about Y/N, then the answer is not not not no.”

“Two double negatives.” Anyone could hear the audible soft rattling of his two brain cells exerting themselves as Yoongi deciphers his answer. “That means…”

Yoongi stares pointedly at Seokjin’s crotch, where the outline of his phone is glaringly obvious. “Show me,” Yoongi growls, not making a move to actually touch Seokjin’s nether regions.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. “No one’s stopping you from taking my phone though?”

“Hyung!”

“Buy me bubble tea first, then we’ll talk.”

“Fine,” Yoongi acquiesces, folding his arms in annoyance. “Just tell me. Is it really the same guy who requested the hug for Y/N today as well?”

Seokjin fiddles around for his phone, digging deeper when it nearly drops down the leg of his pants. When he pulls it out and swipes to his e-mails, he confirms Yoongi’s fear. “Yep. And it seems like he saw you deliver the hug today. Says that he’d prefer that I deliver the hug next time,” Seokjin smirks, enjoying the deep-set frown on Yoongi’s face.

When Seokjin takes a closer look at the order, however, he notices something a little off. “Hold on a sec,” he scrolls to the receipt, scowling when he sees the incorrect amount. “Well, you might be in luck, Yoongi-chi. Looks like loverboy sent the wrong payment. He’s a few dollars short.”

“What?” Yoongi says, for what feels like the tenth time in this entire fic. He grabs Seokjin’s phone, no longer repulsed by where it had been only a few minutes prior. Like Seokjin said, the customer had given the wrong amount, much to both their confusion.

“That’s weird, considering he just ordered a hug today,” Seokjin murmurs, shaking his head. “Oh well. Happens to the best of us. Guess I’ll just have to refund the poor sap.”

“Wait,” Yoongi presses the phone to his chest, preventing Seokjin from taking it. His hyung raises a brow.

“What is it?”

“What if I just… pay you the remaining amount? Then I can also deliver the hug to her and, uhh...” Yoongi mumbles the remaining part, but Seokjin has trained his ears to catch every whisper and mutter for moments just like this. He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t perfect his eavesdropping skills to a spy’s degree. That’s right––Seokjin is a sloppy and nosey bitch and he’s not afraid to admit it!

“Oh? Do my ears deceive me?” Seokjin guffaws, pinching Yoongi’s cheeks for good measure. He hisses in response, but Seokjin isn’t afraid of some little kitten. Seokjin is a bigger bitch with a meaner bite. “Is my little Yoongi Woongi seriously offering to deliver another hug to Miss Y/N? How magnanimous of you.”

Yoongi stares at him, stunned for a moment. A few seconds pass before he shakes his head, faux disdain coloring his expression. “That’s right,” Yoongi huffs, detaching himself from Seokjin’s meaty claws. He keeps his gaze averted, like the big stupid tsundere that he is. “I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart! I care about your profits, and I want to make your workload a little lighter! Isn’t that what you want?”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Seokjin snickers, poking Yoongi in the tit. He swivels away, skipping merrily away to their parked car. “I’m expecting that cash in my Paypal by the time I get to the car, or else the deal is off. Make it snappy, loverboy!”

Yoongi had never transferred cash to someone so quickly in his life.

(Yes, not even when the food court on campus was doing a BOGO promo for churros. That’s the extent of how whipped his ass is, period.)

x x x x x

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

“Listen, I’m seriously not forcing you to do this,” Seokjin starts, even though he’s giving his utmost effort to further embarrass Yoongi by handing out flyers about Hug-o-gram’s newest employee. “Please, take one!” he cajoles, offering a flyer to a gaggle of giggling freshmen. “Make sure to reserve a hug within the week! Yoongi-chi over here is on his way to becoming employee of the month if he gets ten requests by Friday!” They all point and whisper at Yoongi, and he swears he hears one of them wolf whistle in admiration.

“That’s what makes this entire thing terrible. I’m doing this on my own volition, and I absolutely abhor myself for it,” Yoongi moans, grabbing Seokjin’s stack of flyers and smacking himself in the head with them. It probably would’ve hurt more when Seokjin still had a full-stack, but people had swarmed them the moment they entered the heart of the campus, everyone curious to see Yoongi in his interesting attire.

Seokjin might have been famous for creating the Hug-o-gram Service, but Yoongi was famous for hating the business idea, so it’s easy to understand why everyone was interested. (For good reason, he thinks darkly to himself.)

“Damn, Yoongi-chi. Looks like you’re trending on the campus Reddit page,” Seokjin laughs, wheezing even harder when Yoongi points him with a murderous glare. “What? Like you said, this was all your idea.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to wear… whatever this is!” Yoongi whines, tugging on the string around his neck. The cardboard sign had been ready and prepared the moment they arrived home the other day, arousing Yoongi’s suspicions on Seokjin’s actual involvement in his current predicament. Those suspicions are put in the backburner for now, however, as Yoongi actually feels like he might die of embarrassment instead of the packets of MSG coursing through his veins from the ten ramen packs he ate this morning. Maybe both will kill him, if he’s lucky.

“Well, I would love to lend you my uniform, but I haven’t gotten a t-shirt printed with your face on it yet, so you’ll have to deal with the kitten ears and cardboard sign for now,” Seokjin says, patting him on the back. “Or, would you rather I have you wear a shirt with my face on it? I’m open to suggestions.”

“I’d rather swallow a Tide pod, thanks,” Yoongi says through gritted teeth. “C’mon, let’s move. We’ve been standing in the middle of campus like street clowns for long enough. We need to find Y/N because her class is about to end.”

“Street clowns, huh? I guess you are only missing the make-up to complete the look, especially since you seem adamant to keep honking your way through that sickening crush of yours.” Seokjin nearly catches a punch to the head, but his superior reaction time saves him from Yoongi’s sorely lacking physicality. He snatches Yoongi by the hand, dragging them towards your lecture hall. “C’mon, clown! Let’s honk this bread!”

As the two of them get closer to where you are, Yoongi’s heartbeat begins to accelerate. He wonders idly if he should see a doctor after all this, hoping that he hadn’t actually contracted heart disease due to all this stress. Lord forbid that he meet his end before he even gets to ask you out or something!

Even though he’s already hugged you once (and it was, by far, the most euphoric experience of his sad, miserable life), he still finds himself getting clammy hands at the thought of seeing you again. Nevermind the fact that he looked like a walking circus with his get-up… No, Yoongi refuses to think about it anymore, lest his last remaining brain wrinkle irreversibly smoothens.

The campus clock rings loudly, signaling the end of another block of classes. Students rush out of the buildings, with you being one of the first ones out for a change. When Yoongi spots your head of hair among the crowd, he doesn’t immediately notice what you’re wearing at first. In fact, it’s Seokjin who stops in his tracks for a moment, surprised by how you look.

“Woah, Y/N! Looking good,” Seokjin greets, rushing past Yoongi to envelop you in a hug. (A platonic hug, Yoongi reminds himself. Because unlike Yoongi, Seokjin is a normal human being who can give hugs to anyone he wants because he’s… fucking Seokjin! Lucky bastard that he is.)

“Woah!” You laugh, surprised by the sudden hug. You pat him on the back giddily, allowing him to swing you around a little. “What’s this all about? Am I getting a hug-o-gram again?”

“Yes, you are. But not from me,” Seokjin detaches himself from you, scooting away to point at Yoongi. When Seokjin moves away, Yoongi finally understands why his hyung had said you looked good. No, that was an understatement––you looked [redacted].

(For the sake of the author’s fragile ash-coated heart, she has chosen to redact Yoongi’s exact words to protect herself from slamming her head against a keyboard from how cheesy this fic is becoming. Let’s just say the word starts with a B and ends with an L. Make of that as you will.)

You must have come out of an interview or presentation of sorts because you were dressed more nicely than you usually do, which is a pretty big deal considering how put together you always looked. Your hair is styled nicely, obviously given much more care and effort than your regular appearance. You’re wearing a cute little black dress, long enough to be professional but short enough to give Yoongi breathing problems.

If Yoongi’s brain had a playlist, it would be nothing but the sound of him going HNNNNNNNNNG on repeat.

“Oh geez.” Yoongi curses lowly, smiling through the pain. This is fine, he thinks, even though it is clearly not fine. Yoongi has always been a terrible liar.

“Yoongi?” You sound incredulous, though that’s honestly a win in Yoongi’s book considering everything. You didn’t look disgusted, so that’s great. “You look…” You stop yourself, covering your mouth to hide your grin but your amusement is palpable. At least he made you laugh, he supposes.

“Like a fucking idiot? You said it,” Yoongi snorts, arms crossed defiantly. He’s trying to look intimidating, but with his cheeks puffed up and these abominable kitten ears on his head, he looks more like a grumpy cat throwing a tantrum. He juts a thumb at Seokjin, “Thank this himbo for the outfit. I definitely would have chosen something more… inconspicuous.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” You quip, still trying to mask your giggles. On the other hand, Seokjin was wheezing like a hyena, his phone pulled out and presumably filming Yoongi to add to his cringe compilation.

“Exactly what I said!” Seokjin says through his laughter, tears of mirth streaming down his face. He walks back to Yoongi, pushing him forward until he’s face to face with you. “Go on, then! We haven’t got all day!”

“I’m assuming you’re officially part of Seokjin’s hug-o-gram business now?” you ask, opening your arms wide to accept his hug. Like the beta male that he is, Yoongi has to be the one to follow in your footsteps, meekly coming closer to wrap you in an embrace.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Yoongi mutters, tucking his chin onto your shoulder. He feels you vibrate with laughter, bringing a small smile on his own face. He likes making you laugh, always has.

With the cardboard sign serving as a barrier between the two of you, he isn’t as fearful of you feeling the erratic beat of his heart, though it wouldn’t be hard to guess if you looked at him. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy your hug rather than just panic through the entire ordeal like yesterday.

Soon enough, you’re detaching yourself from him, still standing close. Your arm is just a hair’s breadth away, and if not for Seokjin enthusiastically videotaping this entire experience, Yoongi might have closed in for another hug if he could manage.

“It’s always nice to get a hug from someone you like, huh?” You say, cheeks tinted a rosy color. The true meaning of your words flies over Yoongi’s head, as his feeble mind chooses to focus on your comment a little differently.

“I––Of course I like you! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Yoongi laughs nervously, unaware that he’s slowly digging himself into a ditch. To the side, Seokjin audibly slaps a hand to his face, body shivering with secondhand embarrassment from being blasted by the full force of how idiotic his friend actually is.

Yoongi sees you deflate a little, further confusing him. “Yeah, you’re right I guess…” You sigh, taking a step backward dejectedly. Yoongi flounders a little, unsure how he managed to fuck up in just a few seconds when you had just hugged him like your life depended on it.

Choosing now to interfere before the going gets rough, Seokjin steps in between and slings an arm around both of you. Yoongi groans under the weight of his arm, glaring when he notices that Seokjin had done it on purpose, but only to him. You don’t look too bothered by his rude gesture, albeit you were more befuddled than before.

“Hey, Y/N! I don’t know if you’ve ever ordered a hug-o-gram before, but I’m doing a special this week! Now that Yoongi-chi has so kindly joined the team,” Seokjin gives him a pointed look, to which the black-haired music major sticks his tongue out petulantly, “we’re doing a little promotion for first-time customers! Would you be interested in ordering one?”

Your eyes widen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “M-me? Ordering a hug-o-gram? Well, I…” you hesitate, sending a small glance at Yoongi before looking away in embarrassment. “I would like to, but I don’t know if it’ll be well received, you see…”

Seokjin grumbles, silently cursing the stupid shithead who caused his own demise in the first place. The worst part is that he had no idea that he totally just friendzoned you! YOU! Someone who was literally leagues ahead of him. He sincerely has no idea what you see in this bumbling idiot, but everyone with a brain knows that you have been crushing on him for as long as he’s been crushing on you, so perhaps you’re a little bit of an idiot yourself for liking him back.

Being friends with the two of you makes him feel like he’s constantly wearing a sloppy wet diaper, and he hates it. He wants to wipe his ass as soon as possible!

Seokjin shoves Yoongi away roughly, ignoring his indignant squawks as he pulls you aside. He takes you by the hand, taking you a few steps away from Yoongi, far enough that he can whisper into your ear without the other boy hearing.

Yoongi fumes from the sidelines, trying to keep his emotions in check even though he’s bursting at the seams with jealousy. Not for the first time, Yoongi irritably realizes that he does act like a cat, especially in moments like this. He might make fun of Seokjin for being an attention whore, but Yoongi is the same, if only at a smaller scale. He just wants you to look at him, as selfish as that sounds.

Can someone give him a break? He’s been holding in his crush for four years now… Imagine having to take a massive shit after drinking two gallons of milk while being lactose intolerant, except every time you line up for the washroom, the line gets increasingly long no matter how long you wait. That is the extent of his suffering, he tells himself. So please, excuse his dramatics for this one instance.

(Seokjin’s Note: This fucking jackass is SO stupid. If he only knew how easy it is to ask you out, he would know that his emotional constipation could be solved if he just fucking ASKED where the next washroom is. He could have relieved himself ages ago, but NO! And he calls me the idiot! Me! The utter betrayal! I’m never agreeing to become the second lead to a rom-com ever again!)

When Seokjin finishes whispering in your ears, you appear amused by what he had said. Yoongi sweats when you turn to face him, grinning slyly at him. “Is that so…” you wonder aloud. Yoongi feels like the world has shifted on its axis somewhat, though he still doesn’t know exactly how. He has a hunch that he’s going to find out soon enough.

“Would I ever lie to you?” Seokjin laughs that annoying laugh of his, slapping his thigh in the process. He straightens up almost immediately, his expression turning deadpan in an instant. “Send me the details by tonight, and I’ll make sure to deliver it, okay?”

“Promise?” You ask, holding a pinky up towards him. Yoongi might have let out a high pitched sob when he sees the gesture, wanting nothing more than to cup your hands in his. God, if he already nearly died from hugging you, who is to say Yoongi won’t immediately disintegrate if you were ever to hold his hand?

“Promise,” Seokjin replies, linking his pinky with yours. He doesn’t forget to point a shit-eating grin at Yoongi, for good measure.

You pull away, looking happier than you did moments prior. You were absolutely glowing, filling Yoongi with a warmth that only you ever knew how to provide. He wants to make you smile like that all the time, wants nothing more than for you to live beside him, filling his walls with the sound of your tinkling laughter. You wave cheerily at the both of them, stepping away to head home. “I guess I’ll see you, then? I’ll make sure to e-mail you my request, Seokjin!” you say, winking teasingly. “Bye to you too, Yoongi! Thanks for the hug!”

Yoongi watches as you walk further and further away as the usual melancholy that follows whenever you leave soon takes its place in his soul. It might be his imagination, but Yoongi thinks the cat ears on his head might have started to droop to match his mood.

The only way he knows how to replace the sadness, however, is by redirecting those emotions on an unsuspecting victim. Lucky for him, a willing volunteer is already within punching distance.

“Ow! Stop punching me, you gremlin!” Seokjin whines, blocking Yoongi’s series of punches like a pro. He might as well put ‘professional punching bag’ on his resume at this point. “I’m trying to help you, you useless beta male!”

“How is this helping! You made me wear cat ears and whispered blasphemies into Y/N’s ears! Now she’s going to order a hug-o-gram for her crush and it’ll be the end of my chances with her! How could you!”

“I was not whispering blasphemies, you twittering tit! I was giving her advice,” Seokjin sniffs, annoyed. “Don’t say I never help you, by the way. I’ve been trying to help you for years now.”

Yoongi hits him with a steely glare. “Really? So replacing all my clothes in my closet with clown attire is your version of help? I had to wear those stupid clown shoes for a week before you told me where you hid my clothes, jackass!”

“I was only trying to help you physically express yourself! You’re already a clown on paper, might as well help you achieve your final form!” Seokjin huffs, infuriatingly haughty. “Listen, believe me. I only told Y/N something that everyone already knows anyway, so just shut your trap and let Daddy handle the rest. You’re not going to lose her, I promise.”

“Please never refer to yourself as Daddy ever again,” Yoongi seethes, stalking off towards their car. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“No talk, Yoobie angy…” Seokjin snickers to himself, following Yoongi with a spring in his step. This bastard is going to grovel at his feet by tomorrow evening, he’s sure of it. If he doesn’t, then Seokjin will bite his own dick in half––that’s how sure he is of his plan! (Not that biting his dick in half will do anything to his length; he’d still be left with eight inches, let’s be real.) All in good time.

x x x x x

Seokjin gets an e-mail the next morning, much earlier than any sane person would choose to be awake at. He groans lowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tries to read the contents of the letter. When he’s satisfied by what he has read, he forwards the e-mail to Yoongi before allowing sleep to take him once more.

Sleep evades him, however, when the sound of Yoongi’s big feet pounds noisily outside his bedroom. He hits his knee loudly against the coffee table, causing their beloved popcorn machine to tumble to the floor, but that is of little consequence to Yoongi right now. No, he needs to get into Seokjin’s room right now and scream––

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Yoongi hollers, slamming Seokjin’s door open. The hinges creak, desperately hanging on despite the impact. Yoongi proceeds to slam a fist upon Seokjin’s ass, who barely flinches due to the fatness of his ass cushioning most of the damage. He blinks blearily at Yoongi, but the smirk on his face is clear as day.

“Came to claim your hug so early in the morning? Well, I usually don’t entertain clients until after I’ve taken a shower, but for you… I’ll make an exception,” he yawns, peeling back his blanket and patting the empty spot on his bed. “Come on in, Yoobie Boobie… Let’s hug like it’s the last day on earth.”

Seokjin fails to realize that once he removed his blanket, he had inadvertently left himself vulnerable. Yoongi slams the heel of his foot against Seokjin’s groin, causing him to shriek bloody murder at 7 AM. He wonders, amidst his pain, whether this might be the last straw and that their landlord will finally kick them out after years of their stupid shenanigans.

“WHAT DID THAT E-MAIL MEAN? IF IT’S WHAT I THINK IT IS…” Yoongi threatens, but it’s as empty as Seokjin’s butthole. They both know the implications of that e-mail, even a toddler can put two and two together and make sense out of it. Anonymous e-mail or not, Seokjin wouldn’t just forward any hug-o-gram request to Yoongi, unless…

What did the e-mail say? It goes something like:

Dear Mr. Kim,

Thank you for offering your special promotion for new time customers of your Hug-o-gram Service! I’ve always been a quiet fan of your business idea, but I’ve always been a little shy to submit a request of my own. Thank you so much for giving me the little push that I needed to send my first (and hopefully last) hug.

I’d like to send a hug to Mr. Min Yoongi from the Music Department. I understand that he has recently been appointed an employee at your business, but seeing as how it’d be difficult for him to hug himself (while not entirely impossible), I’d like to request that you be the one to send the hug to him.

I don’t really have a message for him, per se… I’m still a little shy, even though you already told me that there is no reason to be. I want to believe what you said was true, so I’m pushing my fear aside and putting my fate into your hands. So, to Mr. Min Yoongi… “When I told you it was nice to hug someone you like, I don’t think you understood what I meant. A hug, after all, is a two-way street. They’re often served the best when it is reciprocated, if you catch my drift. :)”

Peace! :3

Regards,

[Redacted] [Redacted]

“Have your brain synapses finished connecting? Because if even this flies over your head, I’m sorry to say buddy but… You might have smooth brain syndrome,” Seokjin pipes up. He observes Yoongi’s brow crumpling, the first signal of his impending mental breakdown. If Seokjin remembers correctly, the next signal should be when––

Yoongi drops down to his knees, his phone clattering to the floor as he stares absently at the ceiling. Seokjin cringes, worried for the state of his friend’s frail kneecaps. The poor sap has bad heart health already; surely, it isn’t too early to get him a life alert button?

Seokjin scooches over his bed, dangling half his body over the edge to appraise his friend. “So. What do you plan to do now?”

For a moment, Yoongi remains silent. Eventually, he shuffles closer to him, perching his hands around Seokjin. The business student raises a brow, confused, until Yoongi pushes Seokjin back onto the middle of the bed so that he can cram himself beside Seokjin on his small double bed. He huffs amusedly, allowing the smaller boy to snuggle into his chest, though he still refuses to wrap his arms around him. Close enough, Seokjin snorts.

“I need your help, hyung.” Yoongi’s voice is small, shy. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Seokjin immediately softens. They might act like toddlers together the majority of the time, but Seokjin truly does care about Yoongi more than anything. During early mornings like this, when the sun’s soft rays are filtering through his sheer curtains and filling the room with a gentle warmth, it’s nice to cuddle up with one another and enjoy the silence. In fact, Seokjin would never admit it to Yoongi, but he got the idea for his Hug-o-gram service from Yoongi himself, back when the younger boy would be more prone to sneaking into his bed during his bouts of loneliness and homesickness.

Above all else, Yoongi is just a boy with a lot of love to give, so who is Seokjin to say no to his pleas for help?

“You know I always got your back, Yoongi-chi. Whenever you’re ready, we can do whatever you want. Ask and you’ll receive,” he replies, caressing his soft black tresses. Yoongi hums, smiling softly into his chest.

“Thanks, dude. For being… you know.”

Seokjin’s heart pangs a little, but he ignores it. Instead, he continues combing through his hair, humming gently. “I know.”

x x x x x

It’s been a few days since you sent the e-mail to Seokjin and you haven’t heard back from him. You aren’t sure if he sends confirmation e-mails to his clients as you’d never asked for a hug-o-gram before, nor did you know anyone who has. You are forced to continue on with your days like normal, trying to ignore the unsettling anxiety from creeping up your throat and spewing all over the sidewalk.

If Seokjin hadn’t been lying to you, then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. You’ve been harboring this crush on Yoongi for years now, and you never thought in your life that it would ever be reciprocated. He always seemed a little bit detached, a little too cool for you. Never mind the fact that he always seemed so jittery around you, like it was hard to talk to you or something!

Your answer comes on the last day of the week, after an especially rough day at class. Your back is bent, having finished a grueling four hour lab period where you did nothing but stand and stare at your reaction vessel spinning without any signal of change. You are just a little bit hangry from all the stress piling up on your plate, especially since you hadn’t eaten a decent meal since breakfast at 8 AM.

In short, life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d hoped for your senior year, but you can’t let the blues get to you too soon. After all, there are leftover chicken wings in your fridge with your name on it, and nothing beats your meat more than greasy poultry to end a terrible week.

You’re only inches away from sliding your keycard to open your shared dorm room when the door opens without prompting. You flinch backward, yelping loudly when your roommate Park Jimin grins slyly from the doorway––never a good sign, if you knew anything.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Jimin says, leaning casually against the door like he hadn’t just scared the living shit out of you. He takes one glance at your disheveled hair and lightly sweaty clothes before grimacing in disgust. “Girl, I can’t let you meet the love your life while you’re looking like that. Come on, we have a few minutes before he arrives. Let’s get you freshened up.”

“I’m sorry?” You squeak, allowing your roommate to manhandle you into your own home. He pushes you into your room, depositing you roughly onto your unmade bed. You try to make eye contact with him, but he’s too busy raiding your closet to pay you much attention. “Excuse me? What did you say just now?”

“No time, princess! Your Prince Charming is on the way, and I’ve been ordered by Seokjin to prepare you for this life-changing moment, so get your ass into gear and change into this!” He shoves a clean pair of jeans and a nicer-looking blouse at you before proceeding to grab your hairbrush and comb your tresses with the gentleness of a mother tigress. You shriek when the brush gets tangled in an especially stubborn knot, but Jimin is relentless. He nearly tears your hair by the roots, ignoring your pained whines.

“Will you fucking stop! I have literally no idea why you’re acting like a psycho all of a sudden–” You shout when Jimin begins to undress you, having to kick him in the chest to get him away from completely eradicating your remaining traces of dignity. “Okay, fine! I’ll dress myself! Just get out of my room and fucking stay away!”

Jimin looks at you dubiously for a split second, before eventually acquiescing. “You have two minutes to get changed. You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he says, smirking knowingly. He better dread the day that you finally wipe that annoying twinkle in his eye; it’s been a long time coming.

Left alone to your own devices, you do as Jimin says even though you’re still wildly confused by everything. To think you had been so excited to feast on your chicken wings, and instead, you went through a decade’s worth of torture within the last few minutes. Patting your hands on the butt of your jeans, you meekly take a step out of your bedroom, where Jimin is already tapping his foot impatiently by the door.

He motions for you to hurry up. “Let’s go! Seokjin says they’re rounding up the corner. Hold on,” he steps closer to you, raising your arm up to take a shameless sniff of your pits. “Sorry, had to make a pit stop. You can never be too sure,” he shrugs, disregarding your squawks of indignation.

“I smell fine! Now what are we–” Your sentence is cut short as Jimin all but carries you to the elevator, your shrieks of terror causing one or two of your neighbors to peek their heads out of their doors. When they see it’s just the two of you, they simply shrug their shoulders, returning to their lives like it was normal to see Jimin carry you in a fireman’s hold.

He doesn’t put you down until you reach the lobby of your dorm complex, barely out of breath despite having held you the entire way down. Stupid buff baby, you groan internally to yourself, straightening down your clothes in a desperate attempt to look decent. “Okay, we’re here. Who am I supposed to be meeting?”

In lieu of an answer, Jimin points wordlessly outside your building. A black car is parked on the other side of the road, and you can barely see a familiar head of hair poking out from the driver’s seat. “Seokjin? What the…” you trail off, before your eyes finally land on their target.

Yoongi stands outside the glass doorway, not dressed in his usual all-black attire. He’s wearing an outrageously cute pink shirt today, matching the color of his natural flush. He always looks effortlessly good, with his hair a little windswept in that boyishly cute way. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realize he’s wearing his famous leather jacket, the one that always got the girls and boys swooning when he walked past in them. You hated how whipped for him you were, not wanting to be like the weird kids in his secret fan club, but who can blame you? He’s just so…

You rip open the door, nearly tripping and falling over the short steps leading to the entrance. You grind to a halt in front of him and you’re acutely aware of how rabid you must look. Your chest is pounding, like your heart is begging you to step closer, just like when you had hugged him all those days ago. God, you were going to kill Park Jimin for this.

“Yoongi? What are you…” You take one look at him before your gaze drops to his hands folded carefully behind his back. It doesn’t hide the fact that there is an obvious bouquet of flowers behind him, though. Your face lights on fire when you notice they were your favorite flowers too.

“I’m here to deliver a hug?” Yoongi says it like he’s unsure of himself, but there’s a little coyness laced in his tone. His cheeks are painted a soft pink, and not for the first time, they remind you of freshly baked bread pulled out from the oven. Soft enough to kiss, you wonder idly to yourself.

“I mean… I did order a hug a few days ago, but I do recall not ordering one for myself?” you laugh a little hysterically, your breath cutting short when Yoongi grins softly in response. “I… Who is this hug from?”

Yoongi takes a glance back towards Seokjin. “Hey, boss. Am I allowed to reveal who the secret admirers are, or will that get me fired?”

Seokjin, despite being a few meters away, laughs loud enough for the whole street to hear. “Well, Yoongi-chi. Something tells me your resignation letter was coming in the mail eventually. Who cares about the rules at this point?”

“He’s right,” you quip, pulling Yoongi’s attention back. You’re smiling wide now, your hopes and dreams skyrocketing in your chest and blooming a garden in your heart. “Who cares, right?”

“Right,” Yoongi agrees, taking the last two steps he needs to get closer to you. He drops the bouquet somewhere behind you before finally, finally, embracing you once more. He kisses you gently on the forehead, the contact short and sweet.

You feel like you’re dying, but it’s all good because Yoongi looks just as embarrassed as you. But none of it matters, not when both your happiness is palpable in the air.

“Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“This hug-o-gram is from me to you. Will you go out with me?”

You’ve always been a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. So when you lean in to plant your first kiss of many many more, he knows your answer well enough.

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redhawtriot · 4 years

Note

kiri n the reader have a platonic relationship, but every once in a while they'll get together in secret n watch movies together? its their little thing, bcuz when they watch romcoms (which is smn i definitely see kiri secretly liking) they both get a bit sappy during it n only trust each other to be that emotionally vulnerable around? kiri doesn't want to look weak n the reader is usually reserved they both feel comfortable ugly sobbing n huggin it out together b4 swearing not to tell a soul

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

This was so much fun to write😂 I added a lil twist and made the reader BAKUGOU’s TWIN SISTER!!

I feel like you probably wanted this to be really cute, but I don’t think I translated into that well…. 😅 but I really I laughed a lot though, so I hope you enjoy it half as much as I did! ❤️

Thanks for the great request!

HnM💕

Tectonic Plates and Platonic Dates. (Kirishima x Reader (friendship))

You could honestly never get over how absolutely pathetic you probably looked as you sat a sobbing, wet mess in Kirishima’s bed.

The two of you had seen your fair share of these kinds of things since your friendship began not too long ago; however, no matter how many times you witnessed it, it would still bring tears to your eyes when the girl towards the end of a rom/com would almost loose hope in her significant other, just to be swept off her feet in the end.

Like, how many goddamn fight scenes and heartbreak soundtracks would it take before you had a heart of steel? The world may just find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop first.

“Sally totally deserves better than this man, but I want them to find happiness so bad, bro,” Kiri whispered as he scooted closer to you in his bed to hand you a tissue, “Why did he give me such a tough ultimatum? Not manly at all, dude,” he finished as he shook his head and solemnly retreated deeper into his covers for comfort.

“Yeah, fuck Harry for making my eyes hurt,” you quietly replied with a choked sob before blowing your nose into the towel.

God, if only Bakugou could see you now. How would your brother think of you, his tough-as-nails, older twin– reduced to a ball of tears next to his best friend by corny cinematography.

Damn good corny cinematography.

But that’s beside the point. Damn good or not, it was absolutely dire that the two of you kept your scandalous rom/com meetings a secret. Kirishima being the human embodiment of manliness would never dare bruise his masculinity by watching the “About Time”, and the mature, big sister of the all-mighty Bakugou twins would never forsake feminist movements of the last 70 years and watch crap like “Hitch” or “Love Actually.”

So why did you two have to catch each other at the premier of Mama Mia 2 a few months ago?

Little did you know that that day would only be the beginning to many secret meetings between you two closeted cornballs. What had started out as an accidental (and awkward) interaction at the movie theaters turned out to birth a series of the most classified operational meetings of the century.

A secret tradition that was about to bust wide the fuck open.

Both you and Kirishima nearly jumped out of your skin as three loud knocks were heard at the door,

“Kirishima, bro, I know you’re up!” Kaminari’s voice sounded on the other side of the door, “Nobody, goes to sleep this early on a Friday night unless you’re Bakugou. You gotta look at this tiktok Sero and I just made!”

You immediately threw the laptop off of your lap and jumped out of the bed. You threw a frantic glance at the door and your heart dropped even further when you noticed that it was unlocked.

You two had been so damn discreet— you had staggered your departures from the common area, you alternated rooms frequently, you made sure that you both had palpable alibis for your absences.

All that work, and you were about to be foiled because you forgot to lock the damn door.

“Bro, Iida walked in the middle of it!” Kaminari continued with a laugh before you heard the door knob shift.

Your heart violently thudded against your chest as the metal knob began to turn. You painfully whipped your head back to Kirishima, before spastically grabbing him and desperately throwing him off of the bed toward the door, “Do something!” you harshly whispered as you threw him a pleading glance.

“I- uh… NO!” Kirishima yelled toward the door, halting the movement on the other side. His eyes darted between you and the knob, “DON’T COME IN I’M…” the boy’s eyebrows rose to the top of his forehead as he tried to find his next words, “… Naked?” his voice trailed off in a high pitch and his shoulders came up for a shrug as he searched your expression for approval.

He found nothing of the sort.

“Oh my fucking God,” you quietly exclaimed as you threw your hand to your forehead with a loud smack.

“Wait, was that… Y/N’s voice?” Kaminari quietly questioned to himself on the other side of the door. Your soul just about escaped from your being as those words reached you.

Oh, my god. There is no god.

You snapped yourself from the utter horror of the situation and snatched your soul from its attempted escape before storming up to the door– lightly swatting Kirishima on the back of his hard head as you passed him, “No one is naked, Kaminari!” you whispered as you swung the door wide open to reveal to room’s contents. Kirishima nervously waved to the flabbergasted Kaminari with a slight chuckle from the ground where you had thrown him, “Take a look for yourself,” you gestured behind you with your lips awkwardly pressed against each other.

Kaminari reluctantly waved back to Kiri before his eyes settled onto your face. He stared at you for a moment with his head tilted, as if he were intrigued be something. Right when you were about to open your mouth and ask, “What?” he spoke up again,

“Are you okay, Y/N? Your face is really flushed and your eyes are red,” your mouth fumbled over itself as you tried to find an explanation, but suddenly, Kaminari got a look in his eye. The blond practically giggled to himself as his mouth tilted up into a mischievous smirk, “Just what were you two kids doing in there? huh, Y/N?” he said a bit too loudly, igniting your jaw to fly wide open,

“No, no, no! Denki!”You composed yourself almost instantaneously as you heard rustling from the room next to Kirishima’s. You waved your hands frantically in front of the blond in front of you. You tried to hush him as he continued, “Shhhhh! No!” you pleaded in a whisper as your face shriveled in terror.

He continued regardless of your impending doom, “Was I interrupting something, Kirishima?” He wiggled his eyebrows as he called out passed your distressed form and toward the redhead who was just then beginning to stand to his feet, “Does Bakubro know about you and his sister?” You could have killed his wanna-be Pikachu headass right then and there,

“Be quiet you idiot! He’s gonna hear y–”

Your words were interrupted as the door next to Kirishima’s violently swung open and banged harshly against the wall, “THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY SISTER?!”

Your hands moved to rub your temples in preparation for the oncoming headache that was heading your way as your twin brother furiously marched out of his room.

As soon as you made contact with your brother’s familiar fiery eyes, your entire body tensed up as if to prepare for fight or flight. You never stood down from an altercation with your little brother, but in this moment as you watched disgust and horror flash across his expression at the idea of you and his best friend sneaking around, you wanted nothing more than to shrivel into nothingness in the corner of the room like a dead spider.

So yeah, it seemed as if flight might just be the best option.

Your twin seemed to be at a loss for words as he tried to absorb the scene in front of him, but he quickly snapped out of his trance and re-immersed himself in his usual rage, “What the hell is going on here, shitty hair?!” he growled as he stormed up to Kirishima and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“You fucking neanderthal, get the hell off of him!” you squeaked as you tried to peel Bakugou off of poor Kirishima.

“Bakugou, man, it’s not what it looks like,” Kiri nervously laughed as you continued to futility attempt to free him from your brothers clutches.

Kaminari could be heard laughing in the background off all of this madness, “Oh yeah,” he mused, “because by the looks of that messed up bed, it looked like you were getting all cuddly and snugly with Y/N.”

“WHAT?!” Bakugou screeched, causing Kirishima’s ears to slightly rattle.A guttural growl tore it’s way from his throat as his grips on Kirishima’s collar became tighter and he began violently shaking the boy– a steady stream of curses and death threats flooding out of him as he did so.

Bakugou was straight up about to shake the last three brain cells that he had right out of his skull, “BAKUGOU CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!” You screeched as your face began tingling, “I AM ABOUT 3 SECONDS AWAY FROM KICKING YOUR ASS!”

Kaminari pracctically fell to the ground in laugher, only pausing when you threw him a very heated glare, “Don’t you laugh! You’re gonna catch these fists too, assdick!” Kaminari’s fits of laughter only intensified with your words.

Ass dick. What the fuck did you just say….?

Things literally couldn’t get any worse.

“What going on?” Sero’s approaching voice sounded from down the hall, “What’s with all of the commotion?”

Fucking great.

“None of your damned business!” both you and Bakugou sounded simultaneously- his being much more aggressive than your own.

“Kirishima and Y/N were having a moment,” Kaminari gave a half-assed whisper to Sero.

“Kiri, you sly dog,” the second half to the same idiot replied causing Bakugou to shake the Kiri even harder.

“I swear it’s not like that at all, you guys! Honestly!” Kirshima blurted out, gaining a glare from Bakugou as he quit shaking him– a sign to continue speaking and explain himself,

“Y/N and I were just chilling out. I guess it’s kinda ridiculous that we have hid this for so long but…” he anxiously scratched the back of his neck.

Oh god, you were about to be outted. Revealed. Exposed. Fuck, you weren’t ready for this. There were still so many good movies out there to watch, but you would never get the chance to do so with your twerp of a brother breathing down your neck— ridiculing you for being such a sissy.

Kirishima what the hell are you doing?! They can’t handle the truth!

You stared at Kiri with wide eyes as he continued with a goofy smile plastered onto his face, “We have this… thing where we meet up and watch–”

“PORN.” you blurted out without thinking. As soon as the words flew of your mouth you could feel your face become red-hot with embarrassment.

Kirishima’s face heated up as well as he struggled to find words, “…what…?”

“what?!” Kaminari and Sero simultaneously cried out.

“hWHAT?!!” an unholy screech erupted from Bakugou’s throat as he disgustedly snatched himself away from Kirishima.

You were so embarrased that you didnt even notice your face was literally burning up as smoke began to steam from your cheeks. It seemed as of the five of you gawked at each other for years before a sudden shift within your skin clicked in place and a loud explosion enveloped the room as you literally blew your top.

Your quirk was similar to your brothers, except you couldn’t control your oxidation as spontaneously as Bakugou could, and you could also oxidize sweat from anywhere on your body. This meant that you were basically the human equivalent of a match wherever you rubbed your skin.

It also meant that when you got extremely flustered or overwhelmed, sometimes your quirk would activate, much like Bakugou’s, and oxidize the massive amount of facial sweat you tended to grossly compile in anxious moments and effectively explode your own fucking head.

The four men stared in shock as the smoke cleared from your skull, revealing your seriously pissed off face “GET. THE FUCK. OUUUT!!” you growled wildly.

The three stooges looked at your enraged being in terror as your brother just scoffed and sent you a irritated glance. You just wanted to wipe the stupid look off his bratty little face, “ALL OF YOU!” you commanded as you violently shoved Bakugou out of the room onto his butt.

“WHAT THE FUCK,” he screeched.

“Yes, ma’am.” dumb, dumber and dumbest all three replied as they tried to hurriedly flee away from the crime scene.

You quickly grabbed dumber by the arm, “Not you, Kirishima,” you groaned in annoyance before swiftly yanking the boy back into the room and closing the door to lock it. Bakugou barely missed catching the door.

“Y/N!!! FUCKING LET ME IN!” Bakugou snarled as he banged against the door, “NOW! you idiot! I’ll blast this door straight to hell! Shitty hair, if you wanna keep this door I suggest you let me in right the FUCK now! Don’t you touch my shitty sister!”

You ignored all of his psychotic rantings as you tried to find the comfortable position that you had been in in bed before shit had hit the fan. You calmly opened the laptop up and pressed play on the movie.

Kirishima whippped his head back and forth from you calmly on the bed to the raging shadow of a wild creature just under his door, “Are you… sure this is okay? I don’t think that door will hold much longer,” he couldn’t help but smile a little at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Good thing the movie only has 10 minutes left,” you tried to shrug off the embarrassment and return to the bliss of rom/com, “Now. I am gonna finish the damn thing. If you wanna leave be my guest.”

Kirishima gave one last glance toward the booming door before walking over to settle down into the bed next to you, “I think I’ll stay here,” he laughed.

“Good choice,” you replied as you looked up to him with a smile.

And you finished the movie even with your feral twin brother making furious, animal-like noises just on the other side of the door.

#my hero academia #mha imagines #boku no hero academia #mha imagine #bnha imagine #bnha imagines #kirishima imagine #kirishima x reader #eijirou kirishima #kirishima eijirou #bakugou #kastuki bakugou #bakugou’s sister #sero hanta #denki kaminari #kaminari x reader #sero x reader #kirishima x bakugou #platonic

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kakooshi · 4 years

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my previous ask got cut :(( anw i sent one because i saw your tags and i got a lil excited to find someone else who's interested in ryoharu and daisuzue too!! tho i see daiharu more as a brotp rather than in a shipping light but they're slowly growing on me. also i agree w all your points from your reblog of my post hehe i was really let down that they revealed her as a relative with a pseudo-bro con, i hope there's more to her too. i'd love to hear more of your thoughts about fkbu!! :D

Ah, glad to know I’m not alone :) Perks of being a multishipper I suppose :^D If Suzue and Ryo didn’t exist, Daiharu would’ve been my otp for sure lol (And it’s fine to ship them as a brotp!). Here are my thoughts:

Ryo is my fave, so it stings going through his tag and the Ryo/Haru tag on ao3 to see him mostly being portrayed as Haru’s ex whose only purpose is to make Daisuke jealous. I don’t have an issue with authors tackling this love triangle (creative freedom and all), but it’s just not my thing. I only want a genuinely good, pre-canon fic of my First Division boys, is that too much to ask? >_>

I prefer drawing comparisons between Haru’s partnerships, seeing as Haru adopted a mentor role for both, and I like seeing Ryo and Daisuke’s reactions to his traditional brand of justice in the workforce based on what we know about them, with Ryo having once admired Haru and Daisuke with his affluent background. Since Ryo is a supporting character, I don’t expect him to appear much *cries*, but I hope he and Daisuke will have a conversation about Haru at some point, disillusioned kohai to stubborn kohai.

Daisuzu is cute oml! I love reading hints/analyses supporting the theory that Suzue could still be a possible romantic partner for Daisuke in the anime despite the “relative” reveal. The OP and her over-the-top behavior toward Daisuke are just too hard to ignore for the mystery of their relationship to be solved like that (unless you could chalk it down to Suzue being the best family member/servant ever).

I found it hilarious how Daisuke and Suzue were cool, all-around badasses in earlier episodes, only for their characters to do a 180 in the recent one. Suzue’s change was more jarring because of how we were introduced to her, but my expectations for her role in the story are higher because she seems to be the show’s tritagonist, so let's just wait and see.

I’m down for Haruzue as well, though I have no idea why the writing team would make Suzue the love interest of an anime-only character instead of the protagonist like in Yasutaka’s novel. Suzue could certainly give Haru a run for his money in the housekeeping department though haha.

Even though I’m not as invested in Daiharu as much as the other ships, I really adore their dynamic, it’s so damn entertaining! XD It’s a shame there’s an empty gap in their development from the unreleased Hong Kong ep (in light of recent events in HK) and I personally feel it should’ve taken a few more eps for them to try to adjust to each other’s investigative methods and lifestyles before we got the fanfic fest that was episode 4, but hey at least we finally saw Daisuke with his hair down <3

As for my thoughts on the anime as a whole, they just range from thirst to love for the mystery/detective genre and finally to the underlying ethics surrounding the extreme utilisation of money XD I know it has served Daisuke well so far, but since the first few eps consisted of Haru being flabbergasted at his style, I wonder when the time will come for him to solve a case the old-fashioned way. Whether it’s a gag or something pertaining to his character arc, I’d certainly like to see that.

#fkbu #daiharu #daisuzu #hoshiharu #kanbe daisuke #kato haru #kanbe suzue #hoshino ryo #haruhoshi #haruzue #fkbu meta #kinda #reply #aka-banes #this was longer than i expected oml im so sorry for the wall of text djkhajkhsd #thanks for the ask tho!#long post

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