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popi-the-fatui · 3 years

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CHILDE BF HCs

(that no one asked for but here they are anyways)

A/N: this man needs some luv. Long post, there is a whole iceberg under the “read more”. Also, I tried to keep a Gender Neutral reader so pls DM me if there are any mistakes!!

TW: DESCRIPTION OF AN ANXIETY ATTACK, SPOILERS FOR THE REX LAPIS QUEST AND CHILDE’S PAST, a little bit of angst

🐋 Let’s bust some myths first: contrary to popular belief, Childe has no experience at relationships or intimacy at all. Non. Cero. The Venn diagram of romantic/intimate stuff and things Childe has done is a void. But it’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just that he hasn’t had the time to experience any of these things because he is a busy man: between fighting, training and being a Harbinger, there is not a minute left for him to indulge in other things.

🐋 The problem with this is that Tartaglia is a people’s person. He WANTS to be able to have someone that he can do these things with. At the end of the day, when he comes home tired after a mission, all he wants is someone to be waiting for him with cuddles, hugs, kisses, reassurance, caresses, or just a simple “how did your day go?” Because of this, he has a lot of pent-up love that he has not been able to give.

🐋 In that note, he is also incredibly touch-starved: not only does he want someone to give that love to, but Childe also craves to receive it. When was the last time he was touched by someone in a context that was not a fight? He loves fighting, obviously: he has trained for a big part of his life to be able to defeat everything and everyone. But he is also just a human, and there are limits to how long a person can go without a loving touch.

🐋 So when he finally falls victim to the first signs of infatuation, this poor whale man will have an internal battle: do I reach for them? Would they be better off if they never meet me? Will they accept me? Has my reputation already ruined this for me before it even began? How do I approach them? Do I look presentable? Am I going to scare them away? Childe will be torn between wanting to protect you from himself (as the Fatui business is not an easy pill to swallow for everyone) and protect himself from you (his heart would not handle rejection/disgust very well), and wanting to KISS YOU AND HUG YOU AND KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE ARGH WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ADORABLE.

🐋 So he finally decides to compromise between these two stances, and let YOU decide whether you want him as a friend, a lover or a stranger. He starts greeting you whenever he sees you in the streets, subtly asking if you would like him to join you in your commissions, inviting you for lunch/dinner after a mission so you can recharge your energy, asking if you want to go and share drinks with him and Zhongli. You know, friendly stuff friends do. And he doesn’t even try to hide the happy smile that escapes him whenever you say yes to him: when it comes to you, there is nothing he needs to hide. Well, except for that one thing.

🐋 He knows that you know he is somehow associated with the Fatui, if his constant trips to the Northland Bank aren’t enough to tell. Usually, Childe dislikes going around things as he much rather hit straight to the point (being the point a fight, a deal or just a simple conversation). But he has grown so addicted to the sensations you make him feel that he can’t help but to try to postpone that tiny little detail about himself for later. He has never had anyone who genuinely wants to spend time with him and that can keep up with him. Childe knows he can be quite intense and that rumors about him aren’t really rumors but WARNINGS, and to finally have someone, even if you’re just friends, that is actively trying to get to know the real him means so much, and he doesn’t want to let that go as selfish as he knows it is because there’s a chance you could get hurt (emotionally and physically).

🐋 Unfortunately for him, everything that goes up must go down, and that fateful day comes when his plans to take Rex Lapis’ Gnosis blows back to him. After that brief, tense conversation with La Signora and Zhongli, Childe’s ego can’t be any lower: it’s not often that he loses, and much less often that he loses while feeling like a fool. He wants to scream, fight, punch, kick. Anything to take out the impotence and anger he is feeling right now.

🐋 You found him in this state while you were looking for him to see if he was alright because a WHOLE ASS PALACE JUST FELL FROM THE SKY and you’re very concerned for him as you haven’t had any news directly from him and all you know is that apparently Childe was the cause of it?

🐋 As soon as he sees you, his blood-lust disappears and he no longer wants to fight something: he wants to cry from shame. Shame at being found in this state. Shame at failing. Shame at what you would think of him now that the cat’s out of the bag because from the look in your face is EVIDENT that now you know how far his relationship with the Fatui goes.

🐋 He falls to the ground, tears finally coming out and he is crying ugly sobs while hiccuping nonsense about how he is a weak, pathetic, disgusting failure and it’s not fair it’s not FAIR IT’S NOT FAIR IT’S NOT-

🐋 “Look at me” you softly call to him, but he is panicking and hyperventilating and not responding to anything that’s outside of his head, so you decide to sit on your knees in front of him, gently cupping his face with your hands, caressing his tears away with your thumbs.

🐋 “Childe, look at me. Please?” You try again, carefulness in your tone as to not startle him. And when he finally reacts and looks up, you don’t see Tartaglia the 11th Harbinger, nor Childe the fatui flirt. All you see is a broken man that carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, exhausted from constantly fighting against everything the world has thrown at him, and your heart aches for him and wonders how long this man has suffered alone, how long has he suffered in silence.

🐋 “It’s okay, Childe. You’re okay. Can you breathe for me?” You position yourself behind him and put your hands on his shoulders, rubbing circles with your fingers to further calm him. “Breath with me, yeah just like that. Now hold it for a bit and then release it. Keep going, I’ll do it with you. I’m here”

🐋 Childe finds himself finding it easier to breathe with each inhale and exhale, and when he is finally going down from his high, catharsis hits him HARD. Is this what he has been missing all of his life? Is releasing all that pent-up frustration supposed to feel this good? And he feels a little selfish, because he knows he doesn’t deserve your comfort after the stunt he pulled, but Childe can’t help but become putty under your tender touches and your soft words, and he wishes for a different context, for a different past in which he never fell into the abyss, never joined the Fatui, never felt that the only way to survive was to fight. Instead, he wishes for a past in which he is traveling because he wants to, and he meets you, and he courts you and makes your cheeks heat up at something he said. And you are not touching him because he had a panic crisis that he himself caused. No, he imagines the both of you after a dinner date in Liyue. The sky is dark and the stars are shining but the streets are still full of people laughing and talking and the light from the lamps are reflecting beautifully in your hair. You are walking near the harbor, and you are holding his hand and he is giving you a kiss on your forehead because he can’t help himself. In another life, he would have found you and loved you the way you deserve and the way he needs.

🐋 But he knows that now is too late, and all he has left is a mind full of regret because he did, in fact, hurt you. How could you trust him after this? How could you WANT him after this? So imagine his surprise when the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a soft “Are you ok now, Childe?”

🐋 “I- how- what?” He mutters in disbelief. Why are YOU asking HIM that? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

🐋 “You had me very worried back there. I thought you would stop breathing at any moment. You are not hurt, are you?”

🐋 And he laughs. A high-pitched, almost maniac laugh. “You know I was the cause of all of…” he says, moving his arms to signal, well, everywhere “...this, right? I believe you now must know what my real business in Liyue was, and that I’m not just some random Fatui officer”

🐋 “Well… I kind of suspected it? How many ‘random Fatui officers’ are carrying a Vision, huge amounts of Mora and have so many ‘meetings’ at the Northland Bank with the Qixing themselves? I mean, I didn’t know you were a Harbinger, but I did know that you were a higher up in the organization. I’m not dumb, you know?” you answer light-heartedly.

🐋 “Then why would you keep hanging out with me? If you knew all of that, then you for sure must have known that people tend to keep me in a ‘do not trust’ list. People are wary around me, and they should! If you knew of the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve DONE. The reputation surrounding the Fatui, especially the Harbingers, wasn’t built on nothing, you know?”

🐋 “Don’t get me wrong. I do have somewhat of an idea of the things you do for a living. And let me be clear: I certainly do not condone it. And to be honest, I know that things between us would be easier if you weren’t a Fatui and I actually wish you weren’t one” you can feel how his whole body deflated at that, and even if you are sitting behind him, you just know he has a pout on his face, so you resolve for hugging him from behind and rest the side of your face between his shoulder blades, and continue.

🐋 “But in the past weeks, I also had the opportunity to get to know you. Not Fatui you. But human you. I know that you have a family that you love very much and you do everything in your power to protect them. I know that you haven’t had it easy, and that some scars you have still hurt. I know that you absolutely can’t eat with chopsticks, but your pride refuses to give up and you try anyway. I know that you’re a passionate man that holds his dearest people close to his heart. I know that you hate when I’m sad so you’re willing to make a fool of yourself if that means I’ll end up laughing. I know how you wait outside of my building until my window lights up after you get me home so you are sure nothing happened to me. I know by the way you sometimes disassociate from the world around you that you are thinking of home and returning to your family” as you speak, you feel something wet falling on your upper arms, and realize that Childe is silently crying. You have half a mind to stop, but you also know that he needs to hear this, so you tighten your hug a little in reassurance.

🐋 “I also know that whenever I see you with a new wound, I can’t help but worry for you and my first instinct is to check if you are okay. I’m now familiar with the way my heart skips a beat whenever I get to see one of your genuine smiles, especially when the reason behind them is that you get to spend some time with me. I know my eyes soften when I see you talking about something you’re passionate about. The truth is, I care for you, Childe. I really do, Fatui or not. Harbinger or not. And yes, while I would rather you not be one, I still can’t help but long for your company because you make me happy. Because I love you. So don’t underestimate me. I’m strong and so are my feelings. You being a Fatui is not gonna change that”. After this, you two sit in silence for a few minutes, but it’s not an awkward one despite your confession. You know he is gathering his thoughts so you move one of your arms that is wrapped around Childe’s torso to card your fingers through his hair, mindful of the knots that had appeared after the battle. If he doesn’t believe your words, then you sure hope he trusts your actions.

🐋 Childe is the one who breaks the silence when he asks “How could you possibly love someone like me?”. If you weren’t sitting that close to him, you wouldn’t have heard it. He says this so softly, so gently, almost as if he was trying to convince himself and not you.

🐋 “Silly boy” you laugh warmly. “Did you hear anything I just said?” You ruffle his hair, and finally, FINALLY, you can hear him giggle a little. “You don’t get to decide who I love. That’s my choice, and I choose to love you”

🐋 No kisses were shared that day. No grand, magnificent romantic gestures were made. Only the silent promise of two young lovers to love and cherish each other as they were. And maybe, just maybe, you could work things out, together, to build yourselves a brighter future.

🐋 So after all has been said and done: congrats! You are now the proud s/o of Teyvat’s biggest simp.

🐋 Childe is your number one fan. Everything you do is carefully recorded in his mind for later use. He has to go on a mission away from you? Be prepared to be pampered and being taken on several dates the previous week so this clingy man has something to hold on to.

🐋 Also: he is shameless. He will not be afraid of making out with you in plain daylight on a busy street. But fear not! If you happen to not be a fan of PDA, he will try to be low-profile. You are, afterall, a person he treasures and can’t live without, so your comfort comes before his needs. Now, I say “try” because he will still demand to hold your hand and give you the random kiss on your cheek.

🐋 HUGS. FROM. BEHIND. Watch him giving you hugs like Oprah. You are buying something? Cooking? Chilling? Expect to feel a pair of long limbs wrapping from behind you in a tight hug like a koala. It’s his hourly vibe check.

🐋 Very jealous and protective of you. He is very afraid that one day you’ll realize there are plenty of people better than him and you’ll leave him, so please remind this simp that he is more than enough for you.

🐋 He also has nightmares from the time he spent in the abyss and will take sometime for him to realize that he is no longer there, so give him a few minutes for him to come to his senses and then please for the love of the Tsaritsa cuddle the life out of him. Also on this note, I have the headcanon that he prefers being the little spoon. That, or facing each other and he rests his face in the crook of your neck while leaving little pecks there.

🐋 Also you discover, to your surprise and as stated at the beginning , that this man has absolutely no idea how to do relationships. To compensate for this and to give you only the best of the best (as you deserve), he spends time in his travels to read romantic novels to have an idea of what to do, so don’t be surprised if he says or does something corny or cringey.

🐋 The most chaotic “meet the family” you’ll ever have. As soon as he takes you to Snezhnaya, you will have all of his siblings running and tackling you into a bear hug (he sends A LOT of letters to his family about you and if you read them you would not be sure if he is talking about you or a deity).

🐋 He also tries to keep you out of anything regarding the Fatui. It’s a relief that you finally know about how deep his person runs in the organization, but he also wants to spare you from the details of what he does unless something is really bothering him.

🐋 All in all, this golden retriever is your biggest hype man and the most loyal boyfriend. You will never get bored with Childe, as everyday is an adventure with him and he will make sure you to make you as happy and loved as you make him feel.

#childe #childe x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin impact #mine #tw axiety #tw anxiety attack #genshin spoilers #genshin impact spoilers

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oddlittlemiss · 3 years

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🃏Reverse Tarot (Major Arcana)

Instead of asking your deck a question, the deck asks you a question.🔮

Use the list below to find the card(s) you got and pick a question to answer:

0 The Fool~

How are you expanding your horizons?

What experience would you like to have? Why?

What are you willing to risk for a better life?

1 The Magician~

What is it that you really want? How will getting it fulfill you?

What is a natural talent you have been neglecting? Why?

When do you feel most powerful?

2 The High Priestess~

What secret wisdom should you be pursuing?

In what current cycle do you find yourself? How can you best honor it?

How are you deepening your spirituality?

3 The Empress~

How open are you to exploring possibilities? What are you afraid of?

How can you best nurture yourself?

Whom do you need to mother? Why would that be important?

4 The Emperor~

Who is calling the shots in your life? How do you feel about that?

How disciplined are you? Why might it be important for you to be more disciplined?

How are you balancing your work life and your home life?

5 The Hierophant~

What role did organized religion play in your life when you were growing up? Was it a positive experience?

What are some traditions that you have incorporated into your life? How have they been beneficial?

What new (or old) ritual or ceremony do you need to incorporate into your life? Why?

6 The Lovers~

Who are the people you are no longer in contact with? Who do you need to let go of? What do you need to do in order to grieve appropriately for each one?

How are you connecting with others?

Whom do you care deeply? Why?

7 The Chariot~

What contradictions and/or tensions in your life are you struggling to control?

In what two directions are you currently being pulled? What decision must you make next in order to clarify your commitment to one over the other?

How willing are you to consider other options?

8 Strength~

Who or what should you not give up on? Why?

What is something you’ve done in your life that you had thought you couldn’t do?

What is the source of your power?

9 The Hermit~

How comfortable are you being alone?

How do you recharge your batteries? When was the last time you did so? What gets in the way? How might you address those obstacles?

What would you like to share with the world? Why? How might you best do so?

10 Wheel of Fortune~

How clear are you about your vision for your future?

What patterns have continually repeated throughout your life? Have they caused you suffering or empowerment? What might be the origins of those patterns?

What are 5 life lessons you have learned?

11 Justice~

What consequences are you experiencing due to a previous action on your part?

What is a new commitment you must make to yourself? Why?

For what do you need to accept responsibility?

12 The Hanged Man~

What beliefs that are untrue do you still believe in? How can you best change your perspective?

What is something you could do to challenge yourself?

How do people misunderstand you? Why do you think that is?

13 Death~

What chapter in your life needs to close? How can you ensure that happens?

What pains you? Why?

What losses from your past do you still need to grieve? How can you best do so?

14 Temperance~

What is out of balance in your life? How can you create a better sense of equilibrium in your life?

How are you pacing yourself? How can you better pace yourself?

What brings you a sense of inner peace?

15 The Devil~

What do you crave? What are the messages that your cravings are giving you?

Who or what is limiting you? How? What is your next step?

What fear must you face? What will help you face them?

16 The Tower~

What part of your environment do you need to restructure? How can you best do so?

What is breaking up in your life?

Do you have a safety net? If not, how might you go about creating one?

17 The Star~

Who inspires you? What inspires you?

What should people know about you?

What can no one ever take away from you?

18 The Moon~

What should you fear?

How have you been deceiving yourself? How can you break the trance?

What can you do to explore the depths of your psyche? Why might this be a good idea?

19 The Sun~

What is an accomplishment you need to celebrate?

Who or what gives you energy?

What were some of your favorite activities as a child? How could you revisit them now as an adult?

20 Judgement~

What have you been ignoring that you know you need to pay attention to? What is your next step?

How can you think outside the box to solve a pressing problem?

Is there an aspect of your life or personality that you are ashamed of? How might you release that shame?

21 The World~

What loose ends do you need to tie up? How?

What would you like your next adventure to be? Why? What is your next step to manifest it?

What do you now understand? How will that help you on your next chapter?

For more questions as well as questions for the minor arcana, check out the book “Journaling the Tarot” by Andy Matzner. The questions here are also from the book.❤️

#witchblr #witch blog #witch community #witches of tumblr #tarot witch #divination witch #tarot tips

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blobbyclouds · 3 years

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I have a request if you’re currently doing those. How would the Arcana main six help their female s/o during her period?

I got youuuuu. To any of you lovelies on your period... I’m so, so, sorry :’) we can suffer together

warnings: period, minor blood, minor pain

-Asra Alnazar-

Tea? Tea. Yeah. Lots of tea. And if you say you don’t like it, he WILL find some flavor of tea that you’ll like even if it’s 90% sugar

Besides tea though, he’ll make whatever foods you’re craving or run to the market to get whatever you want. He always leaves Faust with you so you don’t feel lonely :)

Your guys’ bed is literally just a nest of pillows, blankets, scarves, etc, which makes it a very comfy place when you need to curl up and die :) you can disappear under a huddle of blankets, only emerging enough to take the food Asra gives you or let Faust under the blankets to boop your nose

But if you’re cuddly, Asra is 110% on board with that. He’s just,,, so cuddly. He is always up for cuddles, especially when it’s helping you feel better. He wraps all his limbs around you, buries his head in your neck, and lightly rubs your massages and sides

His voice is always so soft and sweet. Whether he’s telling you a stupid story about some trouble Faust caused in the palace or reminding you that the pain won’t last, his voice is pure g o l d

Asra is hella good at massages so that’s always an option when you’re feeling crappy

Will press, soft, sweet kisses onto your tummy

And he hugs you and rocks you softly side to side when your emotions get the best you, reminding you you can’t really control the hormones and making a few jokes to lighten the mood

He probably knows at least a few spells to at least make a sort of heating pad, if not directly reduce your pain, which is a pretty nice bonus

“I know a way to stop a period for awhile, you know.” “Really, Asra? How???” “Well, it’d only last about nine months but--” and then he gets a pillow chucked at him

-Nadia Satrinava-

Honey, you are in a palace — prepare to be pampered

You get warm, petal dazzled baths, your favorite cravings fresh from the kitchen, soft beds that fit you just right, plus a dashing duchess to comfort you

She’ll encourage you to walk around the gardens to keep your blood flowing, or at least walk down a few of the palace halls. Even if you whine and grumble, she reminds you that staying at least a little active will help with the cramps and sores

She shows you secret clearings that are peaceful and empty, so you can go hide there when the hormones are messing with your emotions too much

In general, she doesn’t make too big of a deal of it to make you feel self conscious with all the attention, but she does make sure you’re pampered

If you get dramatic period emotions, Nadia won’t take it personally. She’ll just watch with a bemused expression or sweetly rub your back until you calm down. Considering how many sisters she has, your meltdowns are nothing compared to the mini-wars she’s seen play out when too many periods aligned at the same time — she’s seen shit

If you’re both on your period at the same time, you are a FORCE to be reckoned with

Someone tries to be rude? Slack off their job? Be a jerk in any way? You and Nadia will find them and e n d them

And then curl up on the couch by the fireplace and regret ever moving

You’re super jealous of Nadia because her periods are short, like 4 days long. So if you’re one of those people (like me) who gets like 9 day long periods… you just sad :(

-Julian Devorak-

He’s a doctor, so he’s got you covered!

He knows all about periods, symptoms, and, most importantly, how to ease those pains! He knows what foods can stop cramps and can make medicine to help headaches. He’s also stubborn enough to make you stretch or sleep enough to actually take care of yourself

You can make all the excuses you like, but Julian will find a way to make you take care of yourself

If you leak somewhere, Julian will clean it up and won’t let you feel one bit embarrassed

He has an uncanny ability of getting any amount of blood out of anything without even batting an eye don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to

He’s sweet enough to comfort you, but also dorky and dramatic enough to make you laugh (even if it does hurt a bit)

He jokingly calls your period his time “dueling with the Red Lady” because it’s his job, as your dashing knight, to guard you against the ruthless assault of the evil witch giving you pain! (there’s a whole saga with plots and characters, all with Julian being dramatic, very entertaining)

He’s very cuddly, and despite how loud he is, he can be quiet when you need time to relax and sort through the pain and high charged emotions

His hands are terribly cold though, so whenever he tries to be sweet by rubbing your skin you let out a little squeak of protest against the sudden cold

Cooking doesn’t come naturally to him like it does with Portia, but for your sake he tries his best. It took twice as long as it would most people, but after carefully scrutinizing the recipe over and over again, he finally managed to make you something :)

-Muriel-

He gave you a LOT of space at first, like too much space

He was still very helpful, keeping the fire going and giving you extra blankets and such, but he worried about being annoying. He knew that this is a kind of personal thing and didn’t want to be overbearing when you needed time to chill. Which, of course, you hated when he kept conversations to a minimum and gave you way too much space

Until that is, you plopped down on top of him and refused to move. And then he finally understood that you actually wanted him to around, and became far more receptive to you wanting cuddles and such

He’s a human heater, which is great for when you have sores and cramps — it’s especially nice when you have Inanna there too, so you’re surrounded by nice, cozy warmth

He keeps the fire going extra strong for you, and will make whatever warm stews you like

When he’s rubbing your sides his big hands are so, so painfully gentle with you ;-; like his whole body softens up because he’s trying so hard to ease your pain as much as he possibly can

If you’re having an especially rough period, Muriel will work up the courage to go to the market all by himself and buy you something to distract you, be it art supplies, books, or puzzles. The smile you gave him made the long walk and somewhat awkward conversations well worth it :)

-Portia Devorak-

Listen, her cottage is probably the best place to have to deal with a period. You have a cozy cottage that’s just big enough to give personal space, but also small enough to stay warm and keep everything accessible. Plus, there’s a cute kitty, an even cuter girl named Portia, and always tons of yummy food to eat

And then right outside the door you have beautiful gardens??? So you can lay in the sunshine, hike, or smell flowers to distract yourself???

And then there’s a whole palace to chill in if you really feel like it?? Okay, you got it GOOD here

Portia is so sweet and doting. She helps however she can, without making it seem like she’s being condescending or anything. She makes a lot of jokes and is chipper enough to make you almost forget you’re bleeding

Will cuddle and hug you as much as you need it :)

Pepi will curl up on your lap and purr all your pain away if Portia has to go to the palace, and then she’ll make up for all the cuddles you missed out on once she gets back

And she’ll probably bring some sweets with her from the palace, which is an added bonus

She’ll probably get some balms and potions for the both of you from Julian, just in case warm stew and massages aren’t cutting it

If your periods line up you just cuddle up together in bed, close all the curtains, and hold Pepi between you like the sacred heater she is

-Lucio-

What???

Wait, yes, he knows the basics. He knows what periods are, he understands that they aren’t the best, and he knows that symptoms are often eased with pain relief balms or warm baths

But he didn’t understand just how bad they can be until the two of you were together

He just walked in on you one day, curled up in a ball and gingerly massaging your stomach. When you explained what was wrong, he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow

“Just how bad can they be if you have to deal with them once a month?” he asked

You glared up at him from under the blankets. “Come here and let me stab your stomach — repeatedly. Then you’ll know.”

INSTANT understanding

He tries to be helpful by being a bit more gentle with his affections and doing chores for you, but usually you have to ask him to do things because he isn’t always… aware? Or like realizing he can/should do something? It’s not that he’s ignoring, it’s just that he hasn’t really been mindful of enough friends to learn how to help with periods

But of course, the moment you ask him to cook something or draw up a bath, he’s on it. He eventually learns to do these things without being asked, because he wants to be the b e s t boyfriend ever, especially when you’re in pain

Bonus is that all his years as a warrior plus loving his clothes made him super skilled in getting blood out of clothes, so he’s you covered there

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chilly-me-softly · 3 years

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Hey can you do a Fluff one with Mason Mount where she’s having her period, and he’s sweet and comes back from training with sweets and Pads and feels so useless because you’re just feeling so bad and he can’t do nothing, so he reads that warm should make you feel better so he like starts to hug you and cuddle?🥰

Mason had let you know he was going to stop by after practice so you're not alarmed when you hear noises coming from the hall. You're on the couch and you smile as soon as you see his sweet face, sitting up and running a hand through your hair sighing.

"Were you resting?" Mason leaves a kiss on your forehead before sitting down beside you as you shake your head.

"Just watching this documentary"

"Oh what's it about?" Mason casts a quick glance at the screen before bringing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you to himself.

"Animal pairings or something. It's relaxing" you shrug your shoulders as tightly as you can against his chest.

"I brought you this" a bag is placed on your lap and you straighten up a little so you can open it.

"Oh what did you bring me? Ow Mase I love you so much" you leave a quick kiss on his lips after peeking inside finding some chocolate bars and some cookies. You really crave for it in those days but you had run out a while ago and had always put off shopping by not keeping the calendar in mind.

So you settle back on the couch using Mason's legs as a pillow this time, the bag at the foot of the couch opening the packet of biscuits and letting him take a couple just because he brought them to you.

"Okay that's it I can't take it anymore" Mason had tried to watch but the interest never grew so he picks up the remote changing the channel making you moan against his leg. "Sorry it's just too boring"

"You're boring" you murmur purposely leaving a few crumbs on his trousers, he continues zapping stopping shortly after on some rerun of a show you had watched together.

"It was so obvious he did it" Mason murmurs at a particular scene, being aware of the ending now you catch more details, but seeing that you don't respond he lowers his gaze. Your features are furrowed, your body curled into itself even more so.

"Are you okay?" Mason runs a finger gently along your face making you relax instantly as you sigh turning your head towards him for a moment. "It's just my week off"

He feels useless, he wishes you didn't have to suffer so much and he's not sure what he can do to keep from bothering you even more. Maybe it's what he brought you that has made your tummy ache worse? Should you take some pills? You put your eyes back on the screen but he can see that you are not quite relaxed.

He then picks up the phone and starts looking for ways to help you more actively and reads that he did no harm in bringing you chocolate. But he wants to help more than that and keeps scrolling through different articles finding various things that he couldn't do at the moment. But then a website says that warmth can help in certain cases. He takes a quick glance towards you noticing that one of your hands is on your stomach and an idea flashes through his mind.

He signals for you to get up for a moment, not wanting to disturb you, but it's to get more comfortable. He then lies down behind you after removing the crumbs - at least he had made you giggle - placing his back against the couch and allowing you to settle against his chest. Before you can resume your previous position, one of his hands makes its way under your sweatshirt settling firmly on your stomach. The warmth is immediate and then his hand is huge compared to yours, you sigh and he leaves a gentle kiss in your hair.

"Alright?" you nod closing one of your hands around one of his fingers on your stomach and he smiles even though you can't see him. And when you fall asleep a little later, he's just thankful that you managed to get a little break from that discomfort. Whether he deserves the credit or not doesn't matter.

#thank you anon #mason mount #mason mount blurb

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flickeringart · 3 years

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Pisces Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals in the life of an individual – the signs show what filter these energies express through.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Pisces gives the personality receptivity, a boundless quality. No matter what other placements the person has, the passive and intuitive nature is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-actualization.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and personal needs.

Pisces Sun – Virgo Moon

The personal path of self-actualization is trailed with surrender. There’s great sensitivity, which if kept within a limited ego-structure threaten to drown the person. Life might seem threatening and vicious, there’s a desire to up-hold the belief in love but when adversity gets too real, the person might snap in the name of preserving goodness. The person is unwilling to forgive certain things, but they’re also incapable of holding toxic grudges for long. It does nothing but to prolong suffering and Pisces Suns can’t stand to be in atmosphere of friction. They are very forgiving in their evolved state, however, if they’re not, they might justify cruel behavior by reinterpreting it as mercy or care. “This person needs to learn a lesson and I am going to be the good person to teach them” might be the attitude. Needless to say, it can turn extremely manipulative. The personal comfort are very much dependent on keeping one’s life in check. The person craves order and puts faith in the intellectual faculties to feel in control. Getting one’s life on track is a pressing need, which is not a bad thing unless the details gain utmost importance and the big picture is lost. The person is more likely to trust people who are efficient and willing to adapt – it’s how they show their care and how they would choose to be nurtured in turn. Although there’s a tendency to get bogged down in the mundane and day-to-day routines, a proclivity to focus on what must be put in order - there’s also an awareness of the vast backdrop of the undifferentiated realm. The person might turn critical and nit-picky when needs aren’t met, but the overall personality is soft and giving. There’s great compassion for the self in it’s limited scope and ideally an understanding of the transcendent realm. The person might be a diligent worker but prone to get overwhelmed and stressed. Crowds, disorderly environments and chaos would take a toll on the emotional integrity but the person might keep quiet about it and be a bit ashamed to admit to this kind of sensitivity. Confusion makes the person feel very uneasy and unsafe emotionally, but in terms of identity it’s fine for them to be less concrete, more diffuse and undifferentiated. Personality wise, the person is more of an artist. Instinctively, the person is more of an intellectual.

Pisces Sun – Sagittarius Moon

Emotionally, there’s restlessness and a need to move about, to try out new things and experience as much as possible. While there’s a hot and fiery temperament to this individual, the overall personality wants to get lost and to be immersed in life as intimately as possible. The person throws themselves into experiences that hold the promise of consumption and freedom. The two might seem incompatible and to a certain extent they are. On the one hand there’s the transcendent perspective of everything being unreal and therefore equally worthy of reverence – the world is beautiful no matter what state is in and one sees no need to judge or define. On the other, the spirit sees potential for expansion and is not satisfied with passivity. Life is important and it should be pursued passionately through the highs and the lows. There’s definitely some friction that is felt within the person relative to these things. One is a passive victim but the victimhood is not void of meaning. There’s an optimist that lives within and it insist on adopting a casual attitude. The person craves constant movement and stimulation; they won’t sit around and dwell for long. There’s more to discover and find beyond the horizon. Having a good time and engaging in exciting activities is a must with a Sagittarius Moon – there must be something to look forward to, there has to be plans for trips, events or future happenings. With this combo, the person is prone to live in their bubble – to emotionally latch on to things and crave stimulation. It could easily be taken overboard if there’s no inner factor that works for caution and restriction. The person would want to take a large mouthpiece of life, to devour it with arrogance yet looking a bit zoned out while it’s all carried out. In general, Pisces Suns could benefit for surrounding themselves with more fixed or cardinal individuals to ground them and provide direction occasionally since they tend to plunge the emotional depths quite often. That being said, Pisces is really the sign that contains everything and is too mutable to get to. This is a great strength as much as it’s a great weakness. If one is can learn accommodate for separateness and unity at the same time one is on the right track.

(Buy products with my art)

Pisces Sun – Pisces Moon

The person is the embodiment of a lucid dream. Looking into their eyes would be like looking into a deep well. Things are moving in the depths, they shift from dark to light yet one can see a mirrored image of the clouds in the sky on surface because it’s so reflective. There’s gentleness and softness and naiveté to the person, but somehow the thick mists of something else comes through. There’s unpredictability and a subtle uncertainty about the person. “Such a sweet person can’t hurt a fly” some would say, and ultimately they would be right – in a dream scape nothing can really be hurt because nothing is real. However, in a dream that feels very real to many people (physical reality), it is possible to experience real pain. This is where this person can cause real harm because they seek to merge. Sometimes it’s not the overt confrontations that are the most deadly, it’s the suffocating enmeshment labeled “love” that can passively and aggressively drown people out. A lot of covertly violent behavior can be justified through the Piscean lens although it’s usually unconscious. On a more positive note, the connection to the personal and collective unconscious could translate into inspired works of art. The person could be skilled at accurately reflecting the emotions of the times and provide humanity with something that is helpful and insightful. The person might think of himself or herself as more of a channeling vessel and avoiding taking individual credit for things that flow through. The logic of this person might not be completely comprehensible to people with a predominant intellectual temperament, but that doesn’t mean that the person isn’t intelligent. Intelligence is not exclusively reserved to the intellect. The intuitive abilities are likely very strong and they could be extremely informative and rich in value. One should be aware of confusing fantasies, feelings and projections with real intuitive guidance though. There’s likely to be a progression in navigating the emotional realm over time. Learning what to trust could be difficult, but the more the person self-actualizes throughout life, the surer one becomes. World-weariness and a longing for something ultimately true could prevail throughout life. There’s a feeling of having come to an end after many lifetimes, and one might finally be able to let go of all attachments to existence.

Pisces Sun – Gemini Moon

The emotional nature craves interaction with the environment. Without being able to engage in an intellectual exchange the person feels dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Having the opportunity to have fun and communicate with people is what lies at the core of the person’s emotional well-being. Mentally stimulating subjects or people are high up on the priority list whether the person knows it or not. The best solution to emotional discomfort according to the person could be to just change the subject, distract oneself or hang out with others to avoid being alone and isolated. Mental movement is what the person thinks keeps them afloat, but it’s really just an avoidance tactic. Over time the person would hopefully learn to be comfortable with solitude. The overall personality is quite receptive and absorbing which makes overload a likely situation. The person might try to cope by rationalizing and intellectualizing experiences, but with a Pisces Sun, it won’t work. The person’s path of individuation is supposed to go in the direction of feeling, of empathy and a genuine appreciation of all of life. This might prove a bit contradictory to the intellectual temperament, which is inclined to live life through keeping active and occupied with playing little tricks and making little jokes. The person’s emotional nature is the personification of a “naughty teenager” – too young to have any moral compass yet is fully capable to using the mind to get what they want. The double mutable combo makes it difficult for the person to define himself or herself definitely; life is movement, whether it’s mental or emotional. Life is not only in constant fluctuation, it is also double-sided and multi faceted. The person might have many faces within to choose from. Closeness could be a dilemma since the emotional nature is a bit wary of permanent binds that can grow stagnant while the path of self-actualization calls for intimacy and unconditional love. The conscious identity might claim that “I see myself in you and I want to be with you”, while the more unconscious lunar needs might recoil from the statement and find it too sentimental. The person might experience a dynamic where the more romantic identity is constantly criticized by an inner voice of sarcasm a wit. This could be very frustrating. In general, the person is very sensitive to the words of others in particular and the thoughts that run through the mind.

Pisces Sun – Taurus Moon

This combo produces a serene and deep personality. The basic needs revolve around being able to control one’s physical environment, to create comfort and sensory satisfaction for oneself. Being a good and solid physical entity in the world is what the person craves emotionally. Personality wise, the person is a dreamer, a soul before a body, and a soul before a thought. One might not derive a sense of self from one’s material welfare or stability, but it is certainly a pressing need in the person’s life. Identity wise, the person is quite passive as is characteristic of Pisces, but this doesn’t mean that he or she is weak. There’s a romanticism and idealism to the person that has an enchanting effect on the environment – people are drawn to the sweetness and innocence of the intangible that the person represents. A Taurus Moon loves to feel attractive, maybe not for their emotions but for their body and physical presence. Never the less it works well on both levels. Taurus likes to be in control of value and Pisces appreciates anything remotely close to an epic love encounter. The person is likely very sensual and feminine. There would be a stubborn streak imbedded in the adaptable and receptive personality, a need to live a simple but an honest life with integrity. This might work well with the path of self-actualization if the person can allow themselves to lean on others sometimes and not carry the load of living all by themselves. Instinctively, there’s the tendency to take control and be possessive and demonstrative. It’s wise to let intuition be one’s guide occasionally and not get blinded by routine. The art that this person should develop is to shift and change without fear, to allow for unscheduled breakthroughs and breakdowns and roll with them. It might make the person uncomfortable, but it is necessary to not get stuck in resistance. Too strong of an identification with the body and tangible reality could make the person cut off from the psychic realm and one might have to consciously work on opening up one’s eyes to the richness of the unconscious. On the flip side, too much identification with the psychic realm could make the person indifferent to instinctual needs and prone to gloss over the importance of physical safety.

Pisces Sun – Leo Moon

The instinctual nature is bold, dramatic and attention seeking. There’s a lot of energy to the emotional nature that doesn’t escape anyone’s notice. Pride and stubbornness could show up occasionally when the mood hits, otherwise the emotions are warm and inclusive. Everyone should be invested in one’s emotional happenings, in this person’s opinion, but it is rarely the case so the last resort is to demand attention. The person will feel very uncomfortable in his or her emotional displays because it is not what is sought or idealized. The identity is thriving of off embodying the undifferentiated, the background to the foreground. It’s a passive identity that stems from seeing the whole in the limited and loving the limited just as much as the whole. The egocentric drama of the emotional nature is too bold and dominant for the Piscean identity, it’s out of place and incongruent with the path of individuation. The personal needs are, however, not able to change or compromise. They’re impossible to suppress or reject without making the whole individual suffer, which is why the loving attitude of a Pisces Sun will have to accommodate for the need to stir things up, exaggerate and create a fuss around the emotional fluctuations. Emotions are very personal to this individual – preferably, the world should revolve around them. It’s important to develop a mature sense of self since the emotional nature will remain the equivalent of a child with a god complex that likes to boast about personal talents and skills. With detachment and compassion one can parent one’s emotional needs and give them healthy outlets. This combo lends itself to creativity, romance and artistry – perhaps even showmanship. The person craves entertainment and it would be a great way to satisfy the Piscean preference for fantasy and other-worldliness. One should be aware of the proclivity to use play and enjoyment as an escape – overindulging is never a good idea. That being said, it’s ok to live through one’s creations and be guided through inspiration. Beautiful creations that are emotionally and energetically potent could emanate if there’s enough room in the person’s life for spontaneity and feeling.

Pisces Sun – Scorpio Moon

The identity is striving toward transcendence and divine bliss. It’s a private and personal journey undoubtedly, the Scorpio nature has a strong self-focus of protection which would serve to isolate the person somewhat. Shutting the blinders to the world and retreating into an inner cave is what this person would prefer to do. The world might seem tough and inhospitable, yet it is loved immensely because one can’t bear to invest in fear over “God”. However, on a more unconscious, emotional level, there’s nothing that doesn’t justify attack to this person. The instinctual nature is quite primitive in it’s expression and might demand control. If the person isn’t aware of this side of themselves, the instinctual needs of power might disguise itself as a honorable quest for peace when it’s really just about achieving immunity to life. A Scorpio Moon is never invested in something out of purely altruistic motives – the fear of being used, abused and deceived is too great. This fear compels them to want to get the upper hand by “decoding” the complexity of reality, to see through the façade of innocence as to uncover the dirt underneath. No one is fully trusted which might cause him or her to turn to life (God, the universe, the divine) itself as an abstract source for comfort. A Pisces Sun has a predominately romantic outlook on life, whereas the Scorpio Moon leans in the direction of suspicion and apprehension. Emotional overwhelm is not unlikely but rather than it being wholly used for surrender it would could act as fuel for resentment and hatred. The person is likely to have little patience with ignorant and thoughtless people who think they have the “right” to behave however they want. There’s something ruthlessness about the person that might not surface until there’s actual danger present. There’s immense bravery and cold-headedness in crises. Outside of situations that require immediate action there’s a sweet personality that can be a bit shy, introverted and appreciative of solitude. There’s a great capacity for emotional endurance and resiliency that shouldn’t be underestimated. There’s dedication and seriousness to the lofty quest for eternity and love.

Pisces Sun – Aquarius Moon

There’s a whole other world outside of convention, and this is where this person can be found – up in the clouds and down in the depths of the ocean. What the mundane and human has to offer is not really worth much in and of itself, it’s nice to look upon as a phenomenon, but it’s not what is ultimately treasured. There can be appreciation for the mundane, but only in the light of a higher quest. Everything is divine creation and life is beautiful, but it can also feel like physical life is an exile from perfection and a separation from an original source. Emotionally, there’s a kind of general intimacy that is felt with the human condition. Everyone goes through the same thing more or less and the shared experience is beautiful – with sufficient analysis and understanding of one’s needs there’s nothing that can’t be overcome and used as raw material for progression. Feelings are abstract with this person and are not used for the purpose of creating an identity. Paradoxically, the instinct is quite intellectual and feelings are processed from the standpoint of a mental ideal rather than expressed with the backing of identity. The person can come off as cool and detached while delivering all sorts of preachy speech about how things ought to be, ideally. There’s little room for imperfection, and even if there are imperfections they are coolly understood from a distance. The mental plane is never personal, although it accommodates for the personal. The overall path of individuation is trailed with the longing for redemption. The instinct would be to look to society and people to find where things might have gone wrong, but one should take care as to not blindly choose a scapegoat or be too quick to judge something as bad just because it doesn’t fit with one’s idea of bliss. The person has a lot of compassion and love to offer, but it might be done from a more global identification rather than a personal one. The person would definitely be more comfortable on a general level rather than a personal and intimate level. However, even if love is expressed in person, it’s a universal love that is more of a symbol than actual feeling. The person might find that emotions are creating moods that color the person’s whole reality. They’re more like big waves than little tides and there’s no choice but to surrender to them and navigating from a space of allowing. Fighting won’t do this person any good and there’s probably an intuitive knowing that this is the case.

Pisces Sun – Capricorn Moon

There’s something very calming about this combo, even though it will have it’s stressors and overwhelms. The person is self-actualizing through loosing the rigid boundaries of the ego structure and being intuitively guided through life without imposing a separate sense of self. This doesn’t come without it’s challenges because if there’s ego left, there will be the perception of having to make sacrifices in the name of love and overall goodness. However, there’s the potential for being led through life seamlessly if conscious surrender can be achieved, without there being any hate directed at physical and psychic boundaries. In truth, the limited that appears in the unlimited is not really limited at all. Even though there’s receptiveness and softness to the personal identity, the emotional nature is quite restrained. There’s pressure to perform and live up to one’s potential, there’s a demand for conformity and duty, to provide something concrete and estimable in spite of innate insufficiencies. The person has an inner disciplinarian that won’t allow for complete satisfaction – ever. There’s futility embedded in the person’s temperament, a kind of pessimism that seeks to be cured through ambition. Human existence is a pitiful thing to behold; it presents a lose-lose scenario that points to the development of character as the only hope of redemption. The person is essentially put between a rock and a hard place – to try and or give up and lose the self to cynicism. Emotions are habitually suppressed with a Capricorn Moon, which causes them to come out in uncontrollable bursts or through bodily symptoms. The skepticism and selfishness of the inner temperament is just as much a recipe for societal success as it is for unhappiness. “I only do what will bring me status” is the dark side of this Moon. The tendency of Pisces to play the victim could play in to this dynamic and make it a toxic cocktail. To play on the heartstrings of people while carrying out purely self-serving actions could serve to reach the height of manipulation. The task is to dismantle the shame around failure and face the emotions of weakness. The ambitious strivings might never go away, but they can serve to honor the self instead of compensating for the self.

Pisces Sun – Aries Moon

Summarized in one statement, this person would be “the impulsive dreamer”. There’s a warrior spirit living inside the personality of a mystic. Needless to say, the incompatibility of these energies could be felt quite strongly. There’s a thick and bittersweet romanticism to the identity, world-weariness and a longing for relief from the burdens of life. There’s nothing more to be done, there’s little desire accept to make oneself and others feel connected, if not merged. The person wants to blend with something that is unlimited, to taste a little bit of freedom through pushing the limits. There’s a fiery temper that needs to be let-out, and if one is not careful it might turn self-destructive. There’s a strong sense of self that lies at the core of the emotional nature and it needs to assert itself. However, the Piscean identity might not be up for honest confrontation and outbursts and flaming anger is not in the least bit empowering. However, the identity can learn to use the powerful emotions in creative ways. By acting powerless and at the mercy of one’s own temper it’s possible to identify as a victim, which fits the Piscean profile to a T. Alternatively, one could use the warrior spirit to be a savior and a hero in other people’s lives, which fits the Pisces personality equally well. One should beware that one has a lot of energy and take care as to how it is discharged. This combo has the potential for love that is demonstrative and assertive, but there’s always the risk of blurring the lines between assertion and aggression – especially with a Piscean identity. Cruelty can be mercy, and mercy can be cruelty, what is what can be a little bit unclear. The Arien instinct is to act fast and impulsively, which might cause damage. The person is then pressed to restore the identification of innocence, shattered by the violent and “immature” behavior that was let out, unwillingly. In an attempt to do this there could be all sorts of manipulative blame shifting and justifications taking place. Instead of coping with it like this it is wise to own one’s potent emotions and recognize their power. An Aries Moon is not bad, although it’s quite direct, and the identity will have to accommodate for the more anti-social aspects of the feeling nature. Disruption doesn’t have to contradict harmony; it is sometimes just as healthy as passivity. Someone has to stir the pot and stand up for some kind of ideal even if it’s uncomfortable.

Pisces Sun – Cancer Moon

There’s a strong proclivity to shut the world out and get everything done from inside of one’s own private sphere. The intangible is familiar to this person and it’s equally real as anything else. There could be a lot of fear circling the person’s unconscious and conscious mind, intrusive thoughts and emotions could arise spontaneously and threaten to overwhelm the being. On one level the person is ok with being at the mercy of something bigger but on another there’s a deep need for protection against the unconscious. The wiser the person gets, the more value can be found in flowing with the tides. However, with an undeveloped ego it might be too much to navigate the experiences. This is why it’s very important to develop a separate self within the all-encompassing self, or connect to the all-encompassing within the little self. If this is done, there’s nothing to be feared anymore and one can live life to the fullest. The person’s emotions are the embodiment of a woman on her period (and this analogy applies to men as well). Irrational worries, cravings for specific things, hot and cold moods, clinginess and passive aggressiveness, and the list go on. Sudden exclamations of love could be followed by resentment and anxiety. However, there’s a capacity for offering unconditional care and empathy. There’s an instinctual understanding of emotional and physical needs while the conscious identity is more idealistic and romantic. Love is divine, not primal in the person’s eyes – yet the pull to have a physical home and the whole package of safety seems too be too pressing to ignore. It’s impossible to sacrifice everything for love – certain unconscious forces crave personal satisfaction and personal belonging. It is not enough to feel one with the universe or God. The Cancer Moon might instinctively want a home and a familial context to be satisfied and it could work well with the Piscean ideal and romanticism. The difficulty might lie in the effort it takes and the imperfections that come with the burdens of family life. The martyr complex might develop which might turn very toxic. The truth is that the person has enough to deal with regulating their own emotions and escapist tendencies. Individual strength is a necessary evil; it takes a lot of work for this person.

Pisces Sun – Libra Moon

There’s a strong focus on other people with this combo. Emotionally, there’s a thirst for balanced relationships, which causes an enhanced focus on what is happening with other people – what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. Appreciation of others comes naturally and is nothing the person has to work on. This being said, there’s a risk of desiring a world where everything is meticulously designed and perfected – which is bound to end up in disappointment. Nothing can really measure up to the standard that this person has set – it’s too fantastical. The divine could be sought through partnerships because the personal instinct is to navigate life through others. The path of self-actualization lies in the mystical quest for unity. Combining the two, one ends up with a person that is extremely idealistic and dependent on others to carry the self to new heights. The person can’t be without beauty; this is the most important component in life. To balance and adjust the atmosphere to suit one’s preferences is a constant work in progress. The restlessness and frustration that stems from not being able to make things be as one wants them to might not sit well with the Piscean identity. The divine essence shines through in everything, but the Libran perspective thinks that the divine is reached through modification and adjustment. Libra is the sign of the Arts, and art is form, first and foremost. The Piscean identity might claim that everything is art because nothing stands apart from the sublime source. Accepting everything as it is, is not an option for this person, even if the conscious identity might want it to be. Instinctually and unconsciously the person needs the new clothes, the pretty cake and the right music. Not to forget a socially estimable partner to cling to. Although the more instinctual needs are this superficial, the path of individuation is to see beyond form, to feel the aliveness within everything and merge with it yet remain separate without feeling disconnection from the greater Self. Life is an ongoing dance, yet it stands perfectly still at the same time. It’s fine to seek satisfaction in beauty, because it is not the ultimate, but it is expressed through it - as it is expressed through everything in existence.

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bluestarscribbler · 3 years

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Writing Characters With Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Hi everyone! :) How are you doing? 🥰💕 Today I'll be outlining the main do's and don't's of writing characters with SAD, as well the definition and the main symptoms of SAD.

DISCLAIMER: I am not diagnosed with SAD myself; however, all of the following information had been obtained from different posts and sites of people that have first-hand experience with SAD. I will be linking those at the end of today's post, please feel free to check them out.

What I learned from the intense research I did is that nobody has social anxiety the same. Some people feel like they can't breath. Others tend to laugh in awkward moments. Nobody is the same. No character is exactly alike. You can't get it "right," because it's not an exact science. So don't feel too pressured while writing a character with SAD, there's no "one" way to write them. A helpful approach is to think what about how the SAD fits into the story you want to tell because the topic is really as complicated as any other and you can view it from many different angles and go as deep as you want - depending on what this story you're trying to tell calls for. So rather than trying to get an objective view of this complicated topic, focus on the aspects that are relevant to the story.

What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

AKA Social Phobia, SAD describes an intense fear and avoidance of negative public scrutiny, public embarrassment, humiliation or social interaction. This fear can be specified to particular social situations; such as public speaking, or more typically, is experienced in most/all social interactions. Those suffering from SAD will often attempt to avoid the source of their anxiety; this is particularly problematic and in severe cases can lead to complete social isolation.

Symptoms of SAD:

person paces a lot

very fidgety

stops talking mid sentence...a lot

wrings hands

angered by slightest infractions of others

finds fault in others a lot

hard to breathe when focus/attention is shifted to them

sweating profusely

mumbling

shrinking to hide

lack of eye contact/wandering eyes

painfully shy and withdrawn

picking the nails, picking the skin

always the person in the back of the room or in a corner

gravitating toward the first person they recognise and following them everywhere

headaches

finding ways to avoid certain situations

crying before or after social events

feel dizzy and the entire world becomes very far away

feeling like chest was caving in

assuming that everyone is focusing on them

assuming that people are laughing about them

grind their teeth a lot

bite their knuckles

tap out drum patterns with their feet or fingers

nausea and vomiting

muscle weakness

migraines

heart arrhythmia

increasing nervous tics

Keep in mind that social anxiety exists on a spectrum. Not everyone is paralysed at the smallest conversation, but some are. Others feel mild discomfort at certain types of socialising. It’s all relative.

DO'S:

DO write in a lot of internal dialogue. People with SAD say that most of their anxiety is created by their own internal rumination. So, add a lot of overly self-critical internal dialogue and have them think about trivial things that they may or may not have gotten wrong for hours after the fact. People with SAD also tend to avoid initiating with anyone, instead preferring for them (the other person) to initiate — because then they know they're not inconveniencing them (the other person). If a person with SAD does have to interact with people then they tend to plan and rehearse what they're going to say to them. However, once the social interaction has begun, there will be very little internal monologue. In those situations, the character is very much relying on instinct. After the interaction, if the character feels that they messed up (which is likely; be sure to pick up on even the slightest fumbles or awkward pauses), they should keep thinking about how they're an idiot and they want to never have to talk to another person again, because they know it'll end the same way. If they feel like they did a good job, they should express surprise at how well it went, congratulate themselves, and say that they should maybe do this more often — although they probably won't.

DO let them have observational skills. Part of the anxiety stems from not always knowing how to/being good at socialising. Thus an anxious person will watch others closely for clues to their performance and acceptance. While it doesn’t always tell the person how they are doing, it does teach them a lot about the people around them and how they feel about each other. The person in a group with SAD may actually have a better idea of who in the group are friends, enemies, annoyed with the others, think they are better, have crushes, and so on. Having SAD doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t know social cues, it means that they underestimate their ability to use them. Don’t confuse SAD with autism.

DO make it influence all decisions. This is one you can do as the writer and not include every bit of internal dialogue. Just keep in mind that Every decision an anxious person makes is put through the anxiety filter first. Even if they are doing things by themselves, they have to evaluate the chances of meeting people, meeting people they know, having to talk to people when they are done. Keep that in mind when writing these characters in order to keep their personality consistent. That said, in general you can think of someone with SAD feeling physically, mentally and emotionally uncomfortable and "out of place" in ordinary social situations - they want out of it, looking for the door, excuse to leave, cut the interaction short. There could be a sense of shame, guilt and self-loathing about not being "good enough", or that there is something broken and wrong with them (or society).

DO give them other traits. Make sure you give them other traits that influence their decisions and drive their motivations. Someone can have anxiety and also love adventure, want to save all the stray dogs, want to help orphans, want to be a basketball hero, etc. One of the big problems with SAD is that it interferes with a person’s desires to do and be other things. It doesn’t always win though. And sometimes a person may decide that an awkward encounter or two is worth taking part in some other activity they love. Just remember to keep your characters balanced.

DO let them find each other. SAD is probably more common than you’d think. Not everyone has a crippling case. You can have characters share their anxiety with each other and comfort each other and help each other through tough times. SAD can make a person feel isolated but they don’t have to be, and often aren’t as isolated as they think. That observational skill can also help them find the right people to share their feelings with. Not all socialising is terrifying, it can often be cathartic.

DON'T'S:

DON'T make them hate people. Social anxiety does not mean that the person afflicted doesn’t like people or always craves solitude. One of the harshest aspects of SAD is that a person may want companionship and friends but still have uncontrollable discomfort when faced with making friends or spending time with the friends they already have. This constant tug-of-war between wanting friends and feeling the anxiety around people can cause a lot of internal pain and lead to other emotions and conditions such as depression. Someone with SAD can have friends. Even a lot of friends. But certain factors may influence how a person with SAD chooses friends more than they influence others. The level of contact is different for everyone and there will be some friends who can take up more time while not taking up more energy on the part of the anxious person. However, SAD can get so bad that the person with it is unable to leave the house for days at a time, ghosting on all social engagements, not answering their phone and ignoring all texts; but that still doesn't mean they hate people.

DON'T always make them succeed. If you are writing about a person with SAD and they are forced again and again to go outside their comfort zone, make them fail. Have them go to a meeting and then duck down a side corridor at the last minute and disappear. Have them talk to a person and then freeze up in the middle of a conversation, at a loss for words. The longer they go without knowing what to say the stronger the anxiety gets and the harder it is to think. Or have them execute the socialising brilliantly but then go into the bathroom and cry from the overwhelming sense of effort it took to look normal. And just because they have had a few successes doesn’t mean that they will start succeeding every time. Sometimes, the energy it takes, even when the interaction was a success, means that next time they are reluctant or too exhausted to do it again.

DON'T always give them "tells". Anxious people can be very good at hiding it. In the example above of the person who socialises brilliantly and then cries in the bathroom, no one knows how hard it was. They only saw the brilliant “performance.” Keep that in mind. Not all people uncomfortable with socialising are bumbling awkward goofballs. Sometimes they actually appear very cool and collected.

DON'T suddenly make their anxiety disappear when they're at the end of their character arc. This pisses me off, anxiety is a life-long condition. It cannot be "overcome" easily. However, the person with it can learn to live with it. They can visit a psychiatrist, get pills prescribed or change their lifestyle completely to fit around their SAD. A person with anxiety always thinks about their anxiety. Even when they are happily at home reading a book, sometimes they will think about an upcoming engagement, or wish they made friends like the characters in their book. Every time a person with SAD makes plans they have to run through a list of criteria before nailing anything down. Will they have time before and after to prep for and cool down from the experience? Is it something they have done before and feel comfortable doing? Can they back out at the last minute if they feel too overwhelmed that day? These are just a fraction of the things that go through an anxious person’s mind before committing to plans. Again, this isn’t an absolute, but for many people with SAD it is a defining characteristic of who they are. They don’t talk to a single person, even a spouse sometimes, or make a doctor’s appointment without the anxiety affecting how they feel, think, and behave. It is always there. Always.

That's it for today folks! I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic day! 😊❤

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#social anxiety #mental health #social anxiety disorder #writing tips #writing advice #writing #writblr #my writing #anxiety awareness #anxiety disorder #mental illness

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jjbarestaurant · 3 years

Note

Hi! I've got a weird craving for Bucci gang's stands doing something nice for their user without them knowing, like the stands cleaning their users room or getting them food or something? Sorry if that doesn't make sense haha

Of course! This was pretty funny to write.

Bucci gang (Except Narancia) stands doing something nice for their users

🤐Bruno Bucciarati🤐

Bruno was about to do the house laundry.

Living with 5 more people in just one house wasn't something easy to endure. Especially when they all refuse to do the laundry, and Bruno has to do the whole work.

The man has a lot of worries, whether they be about a mission they have to do in some days or just the well-being of the gang.

Bucciarati has to enter every room to get the laundry because the others don't do it themselves.

When he perceived, he was right in front of the washing machine, but without the laundry basket. He got stuck in his worries and forgot to get the dirty clothes of the members.

Bucciarati turned to the door to get the laundries from the other rooms. When he sees Sticky Fingers holding a basket filled with the member's clothes.

He thanks the stand and take the basket from the creature's arms.

🌺Giorno Giovanna🌺

It was Giorno's birthday! During the day, nothing special happened. The most bizarre thing that day, when the night was coming, Giorno couldn't feel or summon Golden Experience.

During the night, Mista prepared a cake and a small party with the gang (Except Abbacchio, he stayed in the room during the whole time),

Some music playing on while Mista sang it (while he was a bit tipsy). Giorno didn't receive many presents. Being with the gang was enough.

When everyone was already a bit tipsy or tired, already bringing the idea of going to bed, the main door is open. A bit surprised, who would enter home at 1 in the morning? When everyone in the gang is already home.

The blond gets up, to see who entered, and it was his own stand! Golden Experience was walking really slowly and carefully holding something wrapped in a festive paper. The thing inside seemed tall, by the package size.

Giorno quickly gets close to the stand, holds the thing, and then sits on the sofa, and puts it in his lap.

He looks at the stand and asks what is that. Golden Experience quickly tries to mimic someone on a birthday. Right after that, The blond understands what the stand wanted to say.

Then, the boy realizes why the stand disappeared for the last hours.

He opens the gift and sees a flower arrangement with a variety of bright colors. Giovanna looks amazed by the present and its beauty.

The boy looks at the stand, and thanks to the creature, that soon disappears.

🍷Leone Abbacchio🍷

There Abbacchio was, laying on the bed crying while everyone else was asleep.

Sometimes the man can't contain his thoughts. He doesn't deserve all he got, he feels guilty, underserved of all things Bruno did for him. Who sees him and believes he is a good person? Really?

He soon can stop crying, and while staring at the ceiling, tries to (unsuccessfully) has rational thoughts.

Soon he perceives the big scandal over such a small thing, he should be sleeping like everyone in the house. His own problems are insignificant. Some members suffered more than him, and here he is complaining about everything.

Abbacchio sits on the bed, trying to calm down. When his bedroom door suddenly opens, the man starts to use his hands to swap away from the tears. What if a member sees him like this?

The door opens a bit more, and moody blues enter the room holding a glass of water and then putting on Leone's nightstand. Soon, the stand user drinks the water to help him calm down.

While the man is drinking the water, moody blues stares at the user, waiting for an order or something of that type.

Soon, abbacchio thanks the stand, and the creature disappears.

🗯Panacotta Fugo 🗯

Fugo yet has problems controlling Purple Haze, so the stand doing things without the boy knowing isn't unusual.

It was cleaning day!

He is the one who usually does it, the rest of the gang hates it, or think is boring.

Even though the rest of the gang isn't really into cleaning the house, is something Fugo enjoys. It's his way to sort of clean his, is a simple activity. Also, he likes to see the result when the work is done (And receive Bruno compliments).

The boy wakes up early that day. He changes his pajamas to more comfortable and bit older clothes. He wore on an apron over it. (I love the idea of fugo using an apron I'm sorry) He was ready to start the cleaning.

Pannacotta directs himself to the room where usually there is the mop, a broom, a bucket, and other cleaning instruments, but they strangely aren't there. Well, they might be in another room, he looks at the kitchen, the bathroom, the tv room, nothing.

He didn't found what he wanted and decided he could clean the house the next day.

When getting to the hall, directing to his room, he just sees Purple Haze coming out of Bruno's room. Holding a mop, bucket, a broom, and the other cleaning instruments that were missing.

After not too much time thinking, Fugo realized what was going on. Purple haze is compulsive for cleaning (remember that scene where he let a bit of spittle get on his wrist, and the got crazy? exactly).

The boy let the stand do the rest of the work. Panacotta deserves a rest

🔫Guido Mista🔫

Bruno had to go out that night and asked Mista if he could do the dinner, just for that night. He accepted, but when it came to the moment of cooking, he was lost.

What he should cook? Where he could find a recipe? Which ingredients he can use? what if a member doesn't like it? The man laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling while thinking of something that could answer all these questions.

After minutes without any answer in mind, he decided to go to the kitchen, maybe he could find some ingredients, mix all that, and then dinner is done.

While getting into the kitchen room, he sees small yellow creatures. 4 of them were trying to hold a knife to cut a tomato, while one of them was reading the recipe out loud for the other to hear, while the last one was trying to get all the ingredients. Wait... These are the Sex Pistols?

Mista was confused. Where they got all that?

The man decided to watch the creatures cooking. He had a smile on his face during the whole experience, asking himself how they could do all that.

During the dinner, everyone complimented Mista's food. Not as good as Bruno's, but it tasted good.

I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything for Narancia and Aerosmith

#jjba headcanons #jjba x reader #bruno bucciarati #bruno x reader #bruno headcanons #bruno bucellati x reader #leone abbacchio #abbacchio x reader #abbacchio headcanons #fugo headcanons #fugo x reader #fugo pannacotta #giorno headcanons #giorno x reader #giorno giovanna #guido mista #mista headcanons #mista x reader

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sailorgreywolf-legacy · 3 years

Text

March 28th, 1787

Spain laid out his jewelry for the night, and then turned to what he wanted his colony to wear. It was not an important night in terms of politics, but he was never going to pass up an opportunity to show off his wealth. If he did not continue to show his riches, then his rivals may doubt it.

He laid a ruby ring next to his own golden decorations, and took a moment to look at it. He had the ring made to serve as a kind of engagement ring, though he had yet to nullify New Spain’s betrothal. He intended to do it, and the time was coming that he would.

He glanced over at the young man who was busying himself with his hair in the mirror. He seemed mildly irritated, and had for most of the day, but Spain had little idea why. There was nothing that should put him on edge the way he was. He guessed that it had something to do with getting little sleep the night before, because there was nothing else that should worry him.

He noticed the way that New Spain was still running his hands through his hair like he was deeply irritated. It already felt like whatever was on his mind would ruin the mood for the night, and Spain thought it was better to get him to talk.

Spain abandoned his preparations and walked over to New Spain. He put his hands softly on the boy’s shoulders and massaged the muscles. He could feel the tension just under the skin. He asked softly, “What is wrong, my angel?”

New Spain stirred under his hands. He finally left his hair alone and answered the question, “I don’t know. Something just feels....” He trailed off as he failed to find the words to explain the feeling. After a long quiet moment he added, “It’s nothing.”

There was a hint of a whine in his voice that told Spain that something was upsetting him. But, he could not think of what could be wrong. It had been a relatively quiet day, and New Spain had spent most of it reading.

Spain said, massaging a particularly tight spot with his thumb, “Get dressed and I promise you that you will feel better. You can even have some extra dessert if you are good.” He knew that anything sweet would appeal to New Spain, perhaps enough to abandon his tempestuous mood.

The boy let out a long breath before nodding. Spain was certain that it would be enough to motivate him to ignore whatever had him so concerned. They could discuss it again in the morning, and Spain knew that he could get New Spain to tell him what was wrong if he needed to.

He removed his hands from the boy’s shoulders to give him space to stand up. New Spain took a deep breath, apparently to calm himself, before he started moving. He got to his feet and Spain started to turn away.

New Spain let out a sharp gasp.

It sounded like he was in pain. Spain felt the sound go straight through his chest. He turned and saw that New Spain was hunched forward with one hand braced against the table and the other against his chest.

Spain immediately felt a surge of panic. The boy’s face had gone pale, and he was taking shallow pained breaths. Any thought of the night’s activities vanished and he refocused on his colony.

New Spain looked like he was in danger of collapsing. Spain immediately put his arm around his waist so that he could support his weight.

He was just in the nick of time. A shudder went through New Spain’s body and his legs gave out from under him. If Spain had not been holding onto him, he would have fully collapsed.

Spain scooped the boy into his arms. He was always surprised at how light New Spain was, and how easy it was to hold him. He was a tall young man, but he was easy enough to pick up.

Spain had no idea what was causing the sudden weakness, but the way that New Spain was letting out little whimpers that put everything else out of his head. The way that one of the boy’s hands was digging into his shirt told him that it was the source of the pain was his chest.

His mind was racing, and he prioritized getting his dearest colony into bed. Spain carried him to the bed and laid him down gently. He then sat next to him so that he was close.

New Spain said, with his voice quavering, “Tony, what is happening?”

The look in his eyes was genuinely terrified and confused. Spain wished that he had an answer, but he was just as shocked by the sudden turn. The location of the pain told him that something was wrong in the capital.

His mind immediately came up with possibilities, and an invasion was the most dire. The English had been the most aggressive in the past, but he found it hard to believe that they could get that far. The colonies were fortified, and it would take enormous effort to overcome that fact.

New Spain was practically trembling. Spain bit the inside of his lip as he thought about the question. He wished that he had an answer, but he did not know. He said, “I do not know.” He stroked New Spain’s hair in an attempt to be comforting and added, “But I will take care of you.”

He knew that he needed to uncover whatever was causing the pain, so that he could stop it. He was already thinking about the servant who was just outside, who could fetch him news.

The most immediate priority was New Spain’s well-being, and Spain felt heartbroken seeing his pain. New Spain’s voice shook as he said, “Stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

Spain took his hands and squeezed them comfortingly. He could feel the way the boy’s hands shook. If it was anyone else he would immediately prioritize finding the source, but he couldn’t leave New Spain when he looked so fragile.

He felt the shaking slowly still with the passing minutes, and he could tell that New Spain eventually unclenched his jaw. He asked, “Is that better, my darling?” New Spain shook his head before answering, “It still hurts. I’m so tired.”

Spain felt like he could see dark circles forming under his eyes, which was odd for so early in the evening. Whatever had happened was clearly still taking a toll on him. He could guess that the unknown event had been sudden and intense.

He leaned forward and kissed New Spain softly on the forehead, and said, “I will be right back. I am not going far.”

As he stood he heard New Spain whimper. It was nearly enough to keep Spain next to him, but he had matters to attend to.

Spain leaned out of the door only enough to speak to the servant just outside. He said, quickly and firmly, “I need you to listen very closely. Something has happened in New Spain, and I need to know what it was. Bring me news. Quickly.”

He could feel his temper flaring. The idea of New Spain suffering incensed him, and the idea that he could not immediately fix it made him even angrier. He had to keep it under control, though the whole situation was frustratingly outside of his control.

The urgency of the request must have come across in his tone. The servant’s eyes widened and he looked like he was about to leave, but Spain stopped him, “But first, you will bring me a cup of tea with plenty of sugar.”

He took a breath and added, fully aware that sweets and sleep would not be enough, “And a dose of laudanum.”

He guessed that a dose of the bitter medicine disguised by ample sweetness would dull the pain enough for New Spain to rest. It was the least that he could do to help.

He watched the way that the servant scurried off for only a moment before returning to New Spain, who had quieted. The boy was laying against the pillows. He looked deeply exhausted, but at least he seemed like the pain had subsided.

Spain sat back down on the bed and stroked New Spain’s hair. He saw the way that New Spain leaned into his hand like he was craving the comforting touch. He said, as softly as he could with the worry pounding in his chest, “I will make it better. I promise.”

Spain glanced at the red velvet of New Spain’s doublet. He could see the lines where New Spain had dug his fingers into the fabric. The clothing had been for the benefit of the court, but it was constricting for someone in pain.

Spain gently started to untie the laces to give him more room to breath. New Spain took a deep breath, and then let it out as a groan. He said, “It still hurts.”

The brevity spoke volumes to Spain about how much pain he was still in. Usually the boy was pleasantly talkative.

Spain touched his face softly again and responded, “I know. But I’m here with you.”

He took New Spain’s hand with his free hand. He was not comforted by how weak New Spain’s grip was. The sound of the servant’s approach was very welcome. Spain turned to see the man with a steaming cup of tea in his hand. He silently took it and waved the mortal away.

New Spain asked, weakly, “What is that?” Spain answered him, “It’s something for the pain. It will make you feel better. Drink it.”

For a moment he thought that the boy might fight him on it. But, the glimmer of resistance immediately died in New Spain’s eyes, and he silently took the cup from Spain. He blew on it weakly to dissipate the steam. Then, hesitantly, he took a sip.

Spain saw his eyes light up as he tasted it. He said, sounding slightly shocked, “It’s so sweet.”

Spain made a mental note to commend the servant for following his orders closely. Hopefully he had been liberal with the laudanum as well. He said, “I know you like sweet things. Drink all of it.”

New Spain obeyed without complaint, and Spain was certain that it would not take long for the medicine to take effect. As he expected, New Spain’s eyelids started to droop.

He took the cup from his hand as he saw the tension leave his muscles so that it did not fall. He put it aside and then used both hands to ease New Spain down as he said, “Lay down, my angel. It will be better soon.”

New Spain closed his eyes and snuggled into the pillows. Spain couldn’t help but think that he looked precious and peaceful. But, he knew that there was still a problem, and he had to find the reason for the pain. Assured that New Spain was asleep, he kissed him softly one more time before he left to find answers.

-------------------------------------------

The first thing that New Spain was aware of as he woke was the pain in all of his muscles. He felt like he had been run over by a bull. His whole body ached and his stomach also felt painfully empty.

He opened his eyes and tried to guess how long he had been asleep. It seemed like it was morning, and he could only guess at the hour. The room wasn’t dark, so he knew that he had slept through the night.

He tried to stretch and let out a groan as every muscle complained painfully. It felt like sleeping had given the pain time to set in.

He gritted his teeth and sat up, despite how much it hurt. As he did, his stomach turned uncomfortably. On instinct he leaned over the edge of the bed and dry heaved. If he had eaten anything recently he was sure that it would have come up.

He wrapped one arm around his empty grumbling stomach, and flopped back onto the pillows. He said to himself, very quietly, “Fuck.” He wasn’t certain whether he was hungry or if he never wanted to eat again.

He also could not quite figure out what had happened. He remembered feeling distant discomfort for several hours, then a sudden sharp pain in his chest that made his limbs go numb. After that it all blurred, and he couldn’t recall exactly how he had ended up in bed asleep.

He glanced down and realized that he was still dressed in his formal clothing. Usually Spain would be unhappy with him for creasing the velvet before he had worn it in public. Knowing that Spain had allowed him to sleep in it told him that the moment had been dire.

Glancing around, he realized that Spain was gone. He had thought that he would wake up to him there. He hated the pang of sadness he felt at the realization. He wished that he had woken up to company and something to eat.

As he stared at the ceiling he contemplated whether he would be able to walk to the kitchen. His legs felt like they might not hold his weight if he tested them. On the other hand, he felt like it may be worth the risk if he could settle the nausea.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the door opened and Spain walked through it. Spain seemed to catch sight of his open eyes and immediately rushed to his bedside. He said, in a voice that made New Spain feel genuinely touched, “Oh good, you are awake.”

He took New Spain’s hand and kissed it briefly. New Spain asked, “What happened?”

Spain usually knew everything that happened in the empire, and New Spain desperately wanted an answer to his question. Spain answered him, “I just got news. It was an earthquake. It was an act of God.”

New Spain thought about the way the pain had hit sharply in his chest. He knew it must have hit the capital. But, he took some comfort in knowing that it was something brief. He said, “So, it is over?”

He wasn’t certain why he didn’t feel better if the event was over. Spain touched his cheek softly and said, “I’m afraid not. The tremors may last days. You will need time to rest. I have cancelled all your lessons until you feel better.”

It sounded like he had thought about it while New Spain slept. His soft caresses felt like he had been worried. New Spain was glad for it; the concept of going back to his usual schedule made him feel exhausted. He said, “Thank you, Tony.”

Spain smiled and replied, “Anything for you, my angel. Do you want more medicine?” New Spain shook his head, and his stomach growled loudly. He answered with a small smile, “I would rather have food first.” Spain smiled back at him and said, “I’ll get you some breakfast.”

#hws mexico #hws spain #i know I've changed my hc about how earthquakes effect Ale #but this was such an interesting idea that I had to write it

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spectrumed · 3 years

Text

7. identity

The aesthetic of suffering, the allure of victimhood, it’s important to acknowledge that to many people, the idea of struggling with mental illness is hot. A common trope in teen dramas is the existence of the sexy bad boy haunted by demons of depression or addiction or some other psychological malady. Women with mental illness tend to be sexualised, less, but then again, women are most typically always sexualised, no matter the state of their mental health. But it’s not just a case of some people finding mental illness to be attractive in others, many see mental illness in themselves as something to take pride in, to celebrate and nurture. To seek out a diagnosis, to infiltrate communities that exist to provide support to those in need, and to declare themselves as being special. Fakers, you could call them. Yes, we’re going to be entering into dangerous grounds here, talking about a potentially incendiary topic that might feed the flames of controversy, but it’s a topic worth discussing. Self-diagnosis. Is self-diagnosis valid or not? Should one self-diagnose? Is it ableism to be against self-diagnosis? Is it ableism to be for self-diagnosis? Is it ableism itself ableist? I don’t know, sweetheart, you are asking a whole bunch of questions and I am hungover… But let’s go on rambling about what it means to be labelled neurodivergent.

Do you have an identity? Do you root for a particular sports team? Do you like a particular kind of music? Do you dance a lot? Are you a dancer? What are you? Simply stating that you’re just “a human” probably won’t do. Sure, it’s correct, but I am also a human, and we could be two very different kinds of people. Your identity should be that certain something that makes you stand apart from the rest, that distinguishes you from the squirming mass of flesh that is the whole of humanity. There are plenty of things about you that do figure in your identity, even though you wish it didn’t. You’re black, you don’t wish to always be “that black guy over there,” but you’ve come to realise that’s just how society views you. Maybe you are a transwoman, and you very eagerly want your friend to stop introducing you as her “trans bestie.” You’re just a woman, you don’t need her to keep labelling you as trans, even though that's what you are. There are many ways we can change our identity through direct personal action. Maybe you could start wearing a hat, and be known as “that hat guy” to the people you work with. Maybe you could embrace a punk aesthetic, looking like young Johnny Rotten stepped into a time machine and got transported to the current day. Actions like these can have a big or small impact on how others see you, but it feels good to be able to make a decision like that and get a response. This is me, this is what I am. I’m the guy who wears bow-ties, don’t I look cool? If only shaping your sense of self always came down to personal decisions like that. You don’t always have a choice.

I’ve lately been watching some Conan O’Brien (American TV talk show host who’s recently decided not to be a TV talk show host) clips. I am sure I don’t need to explain who Conan O’Brien is to my readers, but just in case this is being read by aliens ten-thousand years from now, what I can tell you is that Conan O’Brien is well known for being freakishly tall. Like, really tall. He’s an elongated leprechaun. He’s turned being tall into one of his trademarks. Like many comedians, he’s come to use his corporeal form as a source for levity and fun. While, naturally, the man did not choose to grow as tall as he did, he’s come around to use his height not as a hindrance to success, but rather as an asset. He’s “that tall irish guy on the TV,” and he’s been that person for nearly thirty years. It pays to have some distinguishing feature if you wish to be distinguished. Mr. Joe Average might be perfectly funny and charming, but being an average-looking guy can be wholly detrimental in making a career for yourself as a funnyman. At least get yourself some weird voice, or something. Maybe pretend to be some foreigner and put on a fake accent. As a comedian your job is to be exploited, you wish to be made into a commodity to be sold. People will want to watch your special because of that funny face you pull in the thumbnail. To be different can be financially lucrative.

What’s the best approach in turning something that could be perceived as an abnormal feature into something that is beneficial to you? To make jokes about it? Certainly, if I were to meet a man with a heavily scarred face, I feel there’d likely be a tension between me and him that could be dispelled if that man with the heavily scarred face made some little joke about his appearance, some little quip. “I’m sorry, I cut myself shaving this morning,” would do. The person isn’t obliged to justify his existence to me, he does not have to go out of his way to make me feel less uncomfortable. I am the one in the wrong, certainly. I shouldn’t look at a person with a heavily scarred face and feel uncomfortable, that’s me letting prejudices get in the way, I know that. But, it is what it is. If you’re looking for a practical solution, telling people to simply get over themselves and learn to not be so awkward around folks with physical deformities won’t do. It may be the right thing, but it’s not going to happen any time soon. I am sure that the man with the heavily scarred face isn’t interested in being defined by his heavily scarred face. He's probably sick and tired of that little joke, and wish he didn’t have to make it. But it does the job. Suddenly, you are not looking at something to be feared, the other, you are looking at a person, and someone with a sense of humour. The importance of humour in eradicating stigma, making it possible for the ostracised to enter in society, cannot be understated. Through humour, you can convince most everyone that you are someone worthy of inclusion, because… well, you’re just a funny guy, who doesn’t wanna hang out with you?

For those who have grown up not feeling normal, worrying that there are aspects of your character that others may perceive as unwanted, the yearning to be liked can at times become excruciating. I like to consider myself a funny person, while this blog isn’t intended to be a humorous one, occasionally small little jokes will squirm their way to the top, like worms coming up to the surface during a rainstorm. I am also a cartoonist, and produce a new cartoon every other day. My humour isn’t universal, no good humour ever is universal, but it’s done good in getting some folks to like me. Some people want to be admired, some people want to be feared. I only want to be liked. The one thing I absolutely do not want to be is pitied. I don’t want your pity, I fear your pity.

You’re probably familiar with The Sims, right? It’s a life simulation game, where you control a little digital human, known as a sim, and try to help them make the right decision through life. Each sim has a number of meters that measures their current needs. Hunger, hygiene, energy, if they need to urinate or defecate (though, frankly, the distinction between the two isn’t made in the game, so one can assume that sims are like birds and have just one cloaca that does both,) and so on. One of these meters is for social activities. If a sim hasn’t been social in a while, they go nutty. What’s interesting here, the reason why I bring it up, is that in real life, though we all (to a lesser or greater degree) crave to socialise with others, what kind of socialising you do is of a very big importance. There are a myriad of ways in which one can be social, and depending on your needs at the time, one kind of socialising may not do, whereas another kind of socialising may be just what you need. Do you want to hang out with your pals, cracking jokes and maybe drinking a couple of beers? Do you want to have a serious conversation with your partner about what you wish to accomplish together? Do you want to play with your dog? These different social situations scratch different parts of your mind, and you can’t just substitute one for the other and think that’s all alright. A person may have tonnes of friends, lots of buddies to spend their time with, but they may still desperately be yearning for another kind of social interaction, one that none of their friends can deliver. The human need for company is more complex than how it is depicted in The Sims… which, to be fair, probably shocks nobody. The Sims doesn’t pretend that it’s some highly realistic simulation of real life, it’s a game meant to be played for fun. But what’s important here is the fact that while humans do have a need to be social, how that need is fed changes dramatically on the person, and their conditions. Socialising that may bring comfort to one person, may bring discomfort to another person.

I don’t want you to pity me. I may list my diagnoses, I may tell you of the difficulties that I face in life, but I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to be entertained reading this, I don’t want to make you weep thinking about how cruel life can be. I don’t want you thinking I’m special, or different, because of my diagnoses. I want you to think I’m special and different because of my writing. Sure, this blog is about living with autism spectrum disorder, but I don’t want you reading this blog just because it’s about autism spectrum disorder. I want you to read this because, while it is about a diagnosis you are interested in learning more about, you also find what I write to be well-written and at times, mildly humorous. This blog isn’t my rabid manifesto detailing all the ways my life sucks, and what must be done by society to appease me. Nah, I’m doing relatively fine, don’t feel bad for me, please. I don’t want that kind of attention. I do want attention, I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t have an ego, or that I don’t get pleased seeing people like the things I put out there. I do have a social need, it’s just that being pitied does not do it for me. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel sad. It really makes me feel mad.

We’re finally getting around to the topic I promised I would discuss. Self-diagnosis. A principal concern people have with self-diagnosis is that people only self-diagnose in order to receive pity from others. The difference between someone like me, who’s got a proper official diagnosis, and someone who is self-diagnosed, is that I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you to fetishise my diagnosis, this thing about me that I did not choose to be. I don’t want special favours just because of my diagnosis, I don’t want to be known as “that cartoonist with autism.” I am autistic, I’ve come to accept that, but I don’t want anyone to introduce me as “their friend who’s on the spectrum.” Some may accuse me of self-loathing, treating being autistic like some bad thing that I am ashamed of. But that’s not it. After all, I did start this blog to discuss what it is like. I just don’t want to be defined by this certain something that lies outside of my control. I don’t want it to be my “thing.” I don’t mind being referred to as a hairy cartoonist, because I am pretty hairy. I don’t want to cut my hair any time soon (especially with this plague going around.) No-one would pity me just because I am hairy. At most they may regard me as a good-for-nothing beatnik, and I’m okay with that. Ideally, I still want to be liked, but anything is better than being pitied. To be pitied is to be robbed of your own agency, your own potential. Sure, it gets you that attention you may be craving, but at the cost of infantilization. Autistic people often struggle with being infantilized by society, to the point where some folks don’t even realise that there are autistic grown-ups in the world. Anyone who would voluntarily seek out a diagnosis just to be pitied, well… it doesn’t sit right with me. It makes me, quite frankly, feel demoralised.

But not all people self-diagnose just to get pity from others, right? For some it’s genuinely their only option, likely living in a barely-functioning country like the United States where receiving psychiatric care is expensive and it’s just not something they can afford. It’s unfair of me to phrase self-diagnosing as just a quest to receive pity, it’s way more complicated than that. And yes, I’d have to agree. To know all the reasons why a person may self-diagnose, you have to go personally ask them. Even if it is possible to highlight a few certain trends, things that they all have in common, it’s bound to be impossible to make this one sweeping generalisation to explain everything. All I am saying is that there absolutely are those people who do self-diagnose with the explicit goal of getting pitied. Whether they are knowingly faking their condition or not, to them, being pigeonholed as a person with autism isn’t at all a negative. It’s their identity. It is how they have chosen to let the world see them. They made a choice. They chose this label. This is why many people who have official diagnoses are sceptical of those who've only got a self-diagnosis. Whether your self-diagnosis is accurate or not, in the end, you chose to identify yourself with it. You made a decision, oblivious of the fact that many people don’t get to make that kind of a decision, and they may bear resentment for how you are turning something they’ve faced ostracization for, into what is potentially on the same level as listening to a certain kind of music, or being a supporter of a sports team. A diagnosis is not something you should choose to have.

There are other things to say about self-diagnosis. First of all, it can be dangerous. Some of the diagnoses I’ve seen people give themselves are really serious, things like personality disorders or psychosis. Psychiatrists are very careful when putting these kinds of labels on people, knowing the harm that it can do. A diagnosis is meant to only be given after careful deliberation, and after long conversations with the patient. Psychiatrists know that reducing a person to a set of symptoms can have detrimental effects to that person’s sense of self. If you’re trying to cling on to a diagnosis, seeing it as a major part of your identity, then that may hamper any attempts you make to become a better person, to improve your mental health. You will feel as if you need to correspond to the exact specifications of the disorder, and you will not allow yourself to grow naturally as a complicated human being, a human being whose internal life is far too vast to be fully rounded up with some psychiatric jargon. There are plenty of things about me that do not line up with the diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder, and guess what, that’s quite good actually. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have autism, I very much do, but I realise that as a person, I am more than just my diagnosis. The diagnosis does not define me, I define the diagnosis. If you self-diagnose, do you comprehend all that you are getting yourself into? Are you going to find yourself in psychological traps that will only serve to worsen your mental health? It’s hard to look at yourself objectively, you could easily be misrepresenting yourself inside your own mind. You may effectively be locking parts of yourself away, making it so you are no longer able to see the full you. You will no longer be all there, you will be segmented in favour of upholding the defining marks of a diagnosis that doesn’t suit you.

Instead of self-diagnosing, try doing a self-assessment. Keep in mind that, while you may have this diagnosis, it’s too early to say for sure. You’re going to need somebody else’s input. You’ll need to sit with it for a while to see if it sticks. Keep an open mind, realise that there’s no easy way to explain exactly who you are, or what you are like. It’s very possible that you will come to realise that you are in fact autistic, or have whatever other diagnosis you may suspect describes you. I, after all, came to the conclusion that I was autistic before I got the diagnosis (though, I was going to therapy at that point, and I was on the way to undergo a neuropsychiatric evaluation.) It’s not bad to try and get to understand yourself, don’t come out of this thinking that self-reflection is only possible with a psychiatrist looming over you, telling you how to think about things. We all need to come to certain conclusions over how we self-identify, and sometimes you need to take mental leaps to explain certain things. Just don’t feel as if your best option is to put a label on yourself that can potentially negatively affect your psychological well-being. If you are truly searching for understanding, if your goal is to find out more about yourself, you should act with caution and concern for what you are doing. If all you are looking for is to have people pity you, then… well… I don’t know what to say, really…

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health #diagnosis

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stargazer-balladeer · 3 years

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December 1: Snow (Mystic Messenger)

Characters Included: 707, Yoosung, Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, Saeran & V

Notes: This prompt (or whatever you call this) is random, its meant to signify the start of December. So I apologize if people find that the prompt “snow” is not featured greatly here. Hope you’ll enjoy this!

Warning: Minor spoilers if you haven’t played MM and don’t know their backstories and real names.

December Fics | MAIN PAGE |

707

Seven is the most excited person in the whole RFA, with eyes sparkling, grinning widely and stuff. He’s practically shining with how enthusiastic he is with the Christmas season.

You can be sure that Seven will drag you anywhere, everywhere. This might not be his first Christmas, but its his first Christmas with you and the RFA. A home, a family he always wished he had.

You can also bet that he’ll drag Saeran with him. Saeran just going along with it because he has no choice-

Seven will do ice-skating with you, wander around town and look at the Christmas decorations. Though the best part, in his opinion, is being cozy with you on the couch with a steaming hot chocolate drink.

Saeyoung sighed contentedly as he lets his head rest on yours, his golden-colored pair of eyes looking at the fire place (pretend you have one-). There’s a small, gentle smile on his face, rather than the usual excited, cheeky smile plastered. The silence around you two was comforting and calming, that it makes Saeyoung drowsy.

As much as Saeyoung love the Winter season, he isn’t a fan of cold much. So you two ended up in your house, tucked in a thick blanket and sipping on a steaming hot chocolate drink which you two prepared. Now this is home, Saeyoung blissfully thought. “Should we host a party at RFA, to celebrate the holidays?” His s/o asked, breaking the silence momentarily.

Saeyoung just hums as he snuggled closer to you. “I think it’s a great idea.” Saeyoung mumbled, luckily you caught it. You smiled peacefully. “Alright.. how about this years theme is cat holidays?”

Yoosung

Yoosung is the second most excited in RFA. He will literally drag you to town to watch the snow fall and the decorations hanging around. His childishness really show during this season.

Yoosung would make you into a literal blanket burrito, just to warm you up. He cares about you more than himself so if you’re shivering and cold. He’ll just wrap you in a blanket and snuggle you with it. If you two are outside though, he will give you his jacket or scarf (or maybe both)-

He loves making snowman with you, snowball fighting and teasing you with the coldness. So expect to feel ice going through your back.

“Yoosung!” You shriek while Yoosung just laughed out loud. You tried pulling out the ice that Yoosung put in your back, and failing miserably. You could feel the ice melting in your skin, leaving water to stain inside. You shiver as it made the coldness around you worse.

Yoosung noticed as his laughter died down. He gave you an apologetic smile as he removes his scarf and put it around your neck. “Sorry baby. You just look so adorable.” You only pout at him with a (adorable) glare in your face, which only made Yoosung snickered. You continued pouting as you stomp yourself away from your blonde boyfriend.

Yoosung only laughs as he chases your stomping figure. “Baby! I’m sorry!”

Zen

Zen is in-between excitement and calm. He might not be a fan of the cold much, but he loves the view of snowflakes falling from the sky. Besides, it’s Instagram worthy.

Zen is literally a human heater, like how? But you didn’t complain since now, you can cling to him with a “its too cold” excuse. Zen would only chuckle and let you snuggle with him. It also gives him an excuse to kiss your head, and he ain’t complaining about a free cuddle from you.

This is the only time where Zen can relax really, from all the model shoots his been doing and singing for musicals. He could finally let his body relax.

Zen would go window shopping with you, traversing through the thick chilling snow while looking through the windows. He’s very observant so when he sees that something caught your eye, he would definitely buy it for you.

“.. you know you didn’t have to buy it.” “But I want to, my love.” You sighed while shaking your head with a smile on your face. No matter how much you tried telling him that he doesn’t have to buy you anything, he just doesn’t listen to you. You don’t know whether to reprimand him or not.

“Besides, you deserve it. I put you a lot of suffering just by being with me..” Zen trailed off, getting sentimental again. It’s been almost a year now since that incident in the RFA. As much as you tell Zen that you forgive him, he just couldn’t let go. He believes you deserve someone better than him.

“Hey..” You cooed at him as you made Zen look at you. You smiled gently as you kiss his forehead, and did the eskimo kiss with your noses. “As cheesy as this might sound, I chose you because I love you. I love the way you are. That’s never going to change.” You softly mumbled. Zen heard it and smiled gratefully at you. “Thank, my love. I love you too.”

Jumin

Jumin is probably one of the least excited for Christmas in the RFA. He would think of it as a normal day and carry on with his daily routine. His job as a CEO doesn’t allow him any free time, even on holidays. At first, he didn’t think much of it. But now that you’re with him, he’ll try his hardest to finish all of his work to spend time with you. Sometimes overworking himself to the point of exhaustion.

Jumin is actually neutral towards the cold. Similarly to Zen, he enjoys watching the snow fall from the snow. Though he doesn’t like playing around, he likes watching you build a snowman or play in the snow. He will only join you if you two are going for a walk.

Jumin is much more affectionate during these times. His body isn’t auto-heating and he’s craving your warmth— which results in him dragging you to the nearest bed or couch for a cuddle session. Even though you two have a heater, he’ll always think of an excuse just to cuddle with you. (Just let it slide-)

Jumin has loves watching the snow with you. So you two are often found watching the snow fall in the patio.

A faint gentle smile is present on the relaxed face of the CEO, replacing his usual stoic, cold-faced one. He tightens his hold around you as you two watch the snowflakes descend from the clouds. Even though no one was talking, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“We should do this everyday.” You said in a teasing voice as you lean back on his chest. He hummed as his eyes flickers to your curled up figure in his lap. He sighs contentedly. “Maybe. Though, wouldn’t you prefer going out, darling?”

You hum in response as a smile curled up in your lips. “I much prefer being with you, love.” Jumin swears his heart accelerated when you said that. Even though you two are together for a while now, he still wasn’t used to your affections. He let his eyes drop. “You’ve been spending too much time with Zen.” You only laughed.

Jaehee

Jaehee might seem like collected and calm in the outside, but inside, she’s filled with excitement and giddiness. She couldn’t wait to go home to spend the rest of the day in your warm arms. She craves affections so much but is usually shy when expressing them. But now, with the snow falling, Jaehee now has an excuse with cuddle.

Jaehee is albeit childish for me, so I can see her sticking out her tongue so that a snowflake can land on it. But she won’t start a snowball fight with you, which is quite reassuring-

Instead, she prefers the basic walking around town hand-in-hand while basking in each other’s presence trope. She also likes pressing her body to you, with the excuse of wanting heat. Though you know that she just wants to be close to you-

Jaehee can do anything, but I don’t think she can skate. So if you know how to skate, drag her to a nearby ice rink and teach her there. She won’t refuse because she loves you very much— though if you also don’t know, you two will just stick with other activities.

Jaehee watches as you stick out your tongue to catch a snowflake. She giggled when you made a face. “Cold..” You muttered. “Well.. it is ice.” Jaehee jokingly sass as you laughed. “Right right.”

“C’mon. Let’s enter this café.” Jaehee said while pointing at a nearby café that looks so cozy. You gave her a look. “You sure? Don’t you own a café as well?” Jaehee chuckles as she gives your hand a squeeze. “Just because I own a café now doesn’t mean I don’t want to go to other café’s. Now c’mon before we freeze to death.”

You chuckled as you let her drag you to the café. “I wouldn’t mind being frozen in place with you-“ Jaehee can only sigh and smile at your puns.

Saeran

Saeran is the most least excited for Christmas. Actually, he isn’t excited about anything other than you or ice cream. Like he has the most deadpanned stare as you exclaim its already December.

Actually, I think Saeran would despise Christmas. Because it reminds him of his past. How horrible their mother was to them, to the point that they couldn’t eat anymore. Christmas wasn’t anything special to them back then but now, it is. Whether he likes it or not.

Saeran prefers staying indoors than going out. Unlike his brother that loves snow, he isn’t a fan of them. He says this and yet he’s freezing when you touch him! Like he can still literally eat ice cream even though its already freezing! Prepare yourself when you’ll cuddle with Saeran-

Saeran actually loves cuddling with you around this time. Like I said, he’s freezing so he wants (craves) your warmth. So expect to find yourself cuddling with him.

“Saeran.. I need to cook.” “Just.. a bit longer.” You sighed, finally relaxing your body with his. You knew you weren’t getting up any time soon. Not when this big baby has you in his arms. Saeran nuzzle his face deeper in your neck and hair. You shiver when you felt his warm breath on your neck.

You smiled unconsciously while closing your eyes. Saeran wasn’t one for affectionate, it’s usually you who initiate this kind od things. But now, he’s the one initiating it first. It was kinda refreshing to see him opening up to you. Finally opening his heart to you. Usually when he cuddles, it’s usually for warmth but you knew that it wasn’t for that reason why he suddenly wants to cuddle..

“Did you lose again in that game?” ... “shut up” You laughed as pat his head while he pouts. He swears you knew him better than he knows himself-

V is neutral to the holidays. Though he likes the idea of giving (spoiling) you with gifts and affections. V loves spending time with you and taking picture of the winter wonderland. So, ofc, he prefers going outside with you.

When he lets you see the pictures he take with his camera, you would find yourself in almost every single one. When you ask about this, his only response is your his muse. V is also sneaky when taking pictures of you. Some of these you didn’t know you were unconsciously doing or noticing him taking pictures of you. (Their all beautiful, mind you-)

He loves the domestice life with you. He really spoils you with love and affections. Every morning, noon, afternoon and evening. Afterall, he wants to make it up to you. After all that has happened, with Rika and stuff. But he wouldn’t bring this topic up. He would rather let his past be in the past. He’s forever grateful to you (and also thankful that you managed to convince him to have eye surgery-)

V smiled as he sneakily takes a pic of you looking at the snow without you noticing. His smile stays even after taking the pic. He opens it and inspect it. Perfection. Of course, its perfect. It’s you afterall.

“V.. did you take a pic of me again?” V hums, not looking up as he press the next button. He could hear the playfulness in your voice, so he knew you weren’t mad about it. When he felt you in front of him, he immediately closes his camera.

You pout as you glared at him. “Heyy! I wanna see!” V only chuckled as he lets his camera fall, he doesn’t need to worry about it falling since its lace is around his neck. He proceeds to kiss the top of your forehead. “Sorry, starlight. If I show it to you then you’ll ask me to delete it.” You pout before bursting into fits of laughs. “I guess.”

“Can I atleast have a peek?” “Nope.” “C’mon! Just a glance!” “Nope.” “V~!” “Still no, love.” “No cuddles later then!” “... at home.” You cheered as he sighed in defeat before smiling at you being adorable again.

#❄️ fics #lilys ❄️ fics #mystic messenger #mm #mystic messenger x reader #mm x reader #707 x reader #yoosung x reader #jumin x reader #jumin han x reader #zen x reader #jaehee x reader #jaehee kang x reader #unknown x reader #saeran x reader #v x reader #saeyoung x reader

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 26

first time reader click here

TWs/SUMMARY: Drunken love confessions and other emotional constipation. A threesome between two awesome facial hair bros and reader. I'm absolutely unhappy with how this turned out because a certain sorcerer insisted on being super soft in this one. But at least there's porn...

On the same note, how do we feel about introducing more m/m action? I am a total slut for bisexual boys. I can't help the gay it just comes out...

I danced with Tony briefly as the drinks finally caught up to him. The ex-playboy certainly defended his title: he had impeccable sense of rhythm and we swayed on the floor in tandem, bothering very little with hiding how hot we were for each other. Grinding our hips together, my ass on his dick, Tony was half-hard and I felt it all through the layers of tulle of my skirt and leather of his pants. Now and then his hands wandered, shamelessly squeezing my breasts and my ass, his mouth leaving a blazing hot trail on my neck and my shoulders.

I wasn't far behind. Tony's hair was all kinds of messed up thanks to my own hands and his ass found itself in the very same palms far more than once. "It's a shame Bruce doesn't dance," I pouted drunkenly, receiving an equally intoxicated noise of vague approval. "The three of us are perfect," I stated something that had been boiling over in my head quite a bit.

Tony nodded again. "Yeah," He was far more touchy than usual; his lips landed in my hair right next to my ear. "Bet we can get Merlin, though. I saw him with Natasha earlier," Tony went in to kiss my cheek and missed again, sloppily smooching my temple.

"He has no business being that fuckin' hot," I spit out petulantly without a second thought.

"You're fuckin' right and you should say it," Tony agreed instantly, both of us wearing almost identical, indignant expressions. We paused for a moment, looking deeply into each other's eyes - or, well, we tried to. Drinks and drugs tended to make focusing quite hard. "So we're doing this?" Tony squinted questioningly.

"What about Bruce?" I immediately replied, mind going back to the way my sciency boyfriend was smirking at my and Tony's reaction to Stephen's grand entrance.

"He's okayed any and all our ventures provided we tell him about it," Tony said after a moment of stunned silence.

I chewed on my lip in muted amusement. "What's, he's got, like, a kink?" I tried to articulate my confusion. "And we somehow ended up, I mean all three of us - without talking?" I voiced my concerns. This conversation was really overdue and I'll be damned if that weren't the drugs making me talk. I would probably regret it in the morning...

Tony's eyes softened immediately, a palm raising to trace the side of my face lovingly and gently. "Me and Bruce had a conversation about... You. We both liked you, it's fucking impossible to dislike you, have you seen you? We had decided to let you choose at first, woved for it to not get in the way of our friendship..." He trailed off, looking sheepish and slurring his words slightly. The alcohol had loosened his lips too. I felt only the thump of the bassline, music fading away into the background, my ears hearing only the words leaving Tony's mouth. "I doubt it would have worked out anyways. But you..." He cupped my face. "You gave us everything."

I would have cried if not for the chemicals in my system. My mouth formed a smile on it's own accord and I reached closer to slot it over Tony's shaky grin, bringing us into a slow and sloppy kiss that lasted what felt like years. "I love you, okay? You and Bruce," I spit out the words I desperately wanted to say for so long. Nothing really mattered in the moment, it was just me and Tony and our shared feelings. It wasn't bizarre anymore, loving someone and being loved back.

"Me too, Princess, me too," Tony whispered, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. One of the many advantages of having a boyfriend that wasn't a six-foot tall muscle-bound fricking bastard.

"We have a mission," I reminded him after another song slowly transitioned into a different one. "But I'm also craving a cigarette."

Tony's hand encompassesed mine as he led the way to the patio where the smokers area was located. Bucky's shiny metal arm stood out amongst the partygoers and we made a beeline for him. I bummed a cigarette off him despite Steve's prominent frown and Bucky was even gentleman enough to light it up for me.

We needn't have looked for Strange, it was a few minutes after I'd taken my first drag that he appeared, spouting like a mushroom right after a rainfall. He was frowning. "Caught some douchebag trying to roofie a girl," He explained. Barnes gave him a cigarette without question, trading a dark look with Steve. "Natasha and Loki are taking care of it," Strange supplied, jerking a hand towards the back of the room.

Barnes eyed Tony until the latter gave a short, resigned nod. "Just don't do anything that will land me in the papers," The billionaire sighed before speaking several short commands into a bracelet that served as a direct communication device with Friday. "I raised the security monitors for any suspicious activity too. Put in an earpiece and Friday will notify you if someone else tries to act funny," Tony finished darkly, eyeing Stephen's shaking hands.

I choose to stay silent throughout the interaction, letting the pissed off men to blow off some steam before approaching them. Barnes' cigs migrated into my hands and I watched the tense, retreating backs of the super-soldiers until only the three of us were left in a comfortable silence. I waited until the man was done with his cancer stick and promptly grabbed his hands, gently but firmly stroking the scarred skin.

Tony leaned on the railing, watching us with open interest.

Strange cocked a curious eyebrow but didn't retract his hands, releasing a quiet sigh when my movements successfully calmed the tremors. "Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of being... Nice," He spoke after a moment.

"I know," I replied dryly. "But being nice all the time is boring."

"A day with you is never boring," Tony winked at us teasingly, noticing me step further into the sorcerer's personal space. His eyes were still glowing and whatever spell he had put on himself was still working, attracting me to him like a magnet.

Stephen looked to the side, at Tony, then at me, before gently pulling out a single hand and making an elaborate gesture that made his skin briefly shimmer. The unnatural pull disappeared - me and Tony both exhaled heavily - yet the appreciation for Stephen's lithe, agile form remained. He was a beautifully made man.

Tony made his own move, a signature of his, placing a steady palm on the taller man's back and looking up at Stephen through his eyelashes. The fresh air had sobered both of us up by quite a bit and our coordination returned.

Stephen smirked slightly, running his eyes over the crowd of partygoers gathered around us. Nobody was paying any particular attention to the three of us yet all of us were acutely aware how much damage could be done by a stray snapshot, an accidental Snapchat feature, or something drunkenly posted on public social media by an absolute stranger. Tony and Strange threw each other a secretive, heated glance while I pressed myself closer to Tony, still caressing one of Stephen's hands. To the public, it was nothing more than a friendly gesture to help out a close friend out of his discomfort.

"Your place? I'm afraid mine's a mess," Stephen asked, uncharacteristically dorky and overused pick-up line.

"Lead the way," Tony smirked, both of us sharing a muted giggle at the doctor's antics. In response, Stephen extracted his other hand from my grasp and waved them about in the familiar gesture of creating a portal. On the other side of the circle was the familiar scenery of Tony's penthouse bedroom, sheets, as always, unmade and my fluffy socks hanging half-way off the comforter.

I pulled both men into the circle by their forearms, making quick in hopes everybody around us was too drunk to take note of the surroundings on the other side of the portal. An obscenely large bed in plain view didn't leave much space for speculation.

I sat down on it, taking my time to observe the curious interaction between two men in front of me. The sexual tension between them was undeniable, it crackled in the space between their bodies, lit an unholy fire in their eyes. If I was completely honest with myself - Stephen was hot, but Stephen and Tony together, it was out of this world and I would have been very content to just hang back and watch the two of them going at it.

Untying and toeing off my shoes had me distracted for a brief moment - evidently enough for Stephen to lose his pretense and roughly grab Tony by his face, smashing their lips together gracelessly. Tony's hands grasped the expensive fabric of Stephen's blazer with a force that was equal to the one gathering in the low of my belly. The dress I wore was now carefully thrown over a nearby lounge chair, leaving me in a set of golden bra and tiny panties. It was a gift from Tony: he loved when I wore his colors.

My almost bare body got their attention: panting, they broke apart to stare at me, their gazes hungry enough to make me shiver and feel like prey. Tony's arms sandwiched me between them, letting Stephen's lips to taste mine for the first time. The sorcerer did not hesitate, he plunged his tongue into my mouth and immediately seized command of the kiss. He kissed like he fought, sharply, with precision and demand.

I popped the buttons on his shirt as he explored my mouth, finding the skin of his chest taut and textured with a multitude of smaller, thinner scars. He was built like a runner, or a swimmer, all lean muscle and sculpted hipbones and neatly stacked ribs. His shirt suffered a haste demise.

The thuds and jingles accompanied by quiet cursing behind my back alerted me to Tony's struggle with his intricately made costume. "Can you boom-boom-whoosh it away?" I asked Stephen.

He pulled away with an amused smirk, waving his glowing hands about. "Do what now?"

"It's what the internet calls your voodoo shit, don't quote me," Tony snarked, suddenly finding himself wearing only his boxers. I was promptly pulled to his chest, in what I knew was a defensive gesture - he hated showing off the scarred area around his arc reactor. He used to hide it from me, too.

Stephen hummed, once again waving his hands about in a surprisingly complicated set of motions. I was mesmerised by his hands - even despite the injuries, they remained as skilled and perplexing. Once Stephen was left in his underwear, I wasted no time in detaching from Tony and steering the sorcerer to fall freely into the large bed.

"You need to stop being so smug," I stated, climbing on top of Stephen and claiming his lips for myself. "It's bound to get you in trouble."

"Is that so?" And still, the man looked as satisfied as the cat who ate the canary. That just won't do.

"Tones, help me out, I'm trying to see smtn'," I asked, feeling the man settle in next to me and trace a gentle hand down my side, over my breast and down to the flat of Stephen's belly. The man under me shivered, face slowly heating up.

"Yes, dear?" My engineer supplied helpfully.

"Off," With a sudden change of pace, I snapped the elastic of Stephen's boxers, causing the man to jump and the very sizeable bulge in them twitch. Tony obediently pulled down the offending piece of clothing, causing Stephen to groan as the cool air hit the heated flesh of his most sensitive spots.

I settled between his thighs, spitting in my palm and giving his long cock a few solid strokes, enjoying the way his hips seemed to involuntarily follow the movement of my slick palm.

"I'd brace myself if I were you," Tony remarked teasingly, bending down to kiss the sorcerer again. Between my and Tony's mouths, Steph really didn't stand a chance.

The obscenely long moan that left his mouth was swallowed by Tony as my lips and tongue made to wrap around the very tip of Stephen's cock. I tasted the musk and the salt of him as I made down his long cock, taking extra time to warm up my throat for the incoming intrusion. And when I finally swallowed him, to the hilt, I swear I felt the way his body shook.

There was a lot more noise coming from the two men - I briefly lifted my eyes to see Stephen sucking a hickey onto the side of Tony's neck with a vigour, Tony's hand holding onto Stephen's hair as the taller man palmed the shorter man's bulge through his boxers.

I was pretty sure my juices were flowing down my thighs. The two men were a Sight; the drugs and booze in my system had me reaching new levels of arousal, levels I previously didn't even know existed. A needy noise left my lips, muffled by the delicious cock stretching them and I knew it was time to grant myself the thing I had been craving for so long.

Swiftly, I pulled off Stephen's cock and sat down into his lap, grinding my panty-covered mound atop his erection that laid on his belly, twitching and leaking. "You want a condom? We're clean and I'm on birth control," I offered.

"I'm clean, feel free to..." Stephen detached his mouth from Tony just long enough to mutter consent, immediately going back to taste the engineer's skin and mark it with his lips and teeth. By the time I she'd my underwear and slid down on his sizeable cock, I had noticed the necklace of blues and reds decorating Tony's neck and clavicles.

"Fuck, yessss..." I hissed, the emptiness within me finally fed. Experimentally raising my hips up and down a few times, I quickly found a rhythm that made for sinful noises to fall from both of our lips. Tony was whining, too, in impatience. "Tony, wanna try something?"

That piqued his interest. He looked at me, eyes unfocused and blown with lust. "Hm?" As Steph continued satiating his hunger for Tony's skin.

I carefully considered it before speaking. "Get behind me," I ordered breathily, slowing my pace just enough to keep me tethering on the brink of release.

"We need lube," He mumbled immediately, catching my drift - well, not quite.

"Nope, we don't. I can take both of you," I stated, bending over and spreading my legs a little wider. With Tony and Bruce, it would have been impossible considering the fact that Bruce's cock was as thick as a fuckin' coke can, but with Stephen being a little more reasonably sized... I must admit, I was curious. It certainly looked interesting enough in porn. Plus, it would allow the two men to feel each other-

"Fuckin' hell," Stephen groaned, one hand gripping my hip to steady himself. So that was a definite yes. "Princess, you're killing me here."

Tony took all of a whole second to get in position and spit in his hand, adding extra lubrication just in case. Thoughtful Tony. He needn't have worried, however - every inch from my thighs to Steph's balls was covered in my juices. To say that I was turned on would have been a massive fuckin' understatement.

"Fu-uck, you're so good, baby," Tony groaned. I felt the tip of his cock breach and stretch my entrance, finding the sting not painful but rather pleasurable. Inch by inch, I felt myself open up. The sensations were incredibly powerful, my release approaching even despite the steady slow movements that Tony was making.

"Harder," I begged, feeling my release approach with the force of a freight train. Both men complied, falling into a careful but powerful rhythm, shaking me to the core with each precise thrust. It didn't take long for me to clench and spasm around the cocks, making both men pick up the pace, their movements turning sloppy. My own imagination supplied the extra mile, figuring their cocks rubbing against each other inside my sloppy wet hole made it feel twice as intense.

Tony wrapped his forearm around my throat, putting a healthy arch to my back - I didn't know whose cock was hitting just the right spot and I didn't care. My eyes met Stephen's - he was watching me come undone, worrying his lip between his teeth, his own eyes darting between my and Tony's face. In a split second decision, I took hold of one of his hands and popped the index and middle fingers into my mouth, softly sucking on them, covering the digits in my little gasps and moans

Stephen's back arched and Tony groaned, stuttering his hips in response. As soon as the little crease between the sorcerer's eyebrows made a humble appearance, he was coming. "Fuck!" He yelped hoarsely, painting my insides and Tony's cock white. The engineer dropped his head onto my shoulders, panting, getting a few stuttered thrusts and he was coming, too, jerking almost violently behind me.

Him shoving his cock as deeply as possible within me triggered another wave of bliss for me. I followed the two men, gasping around the fingers in my mouth and behind the unyielding strength of Tony's arm. I felt wrung out, like a paper bag scrunched up and used...

In the best way. It was incredibly hot. The realisation that I had been marked by two glorious men from the inside out made me shiver and the men in question twitch in response to the involuntary flutter my pussy had done from my thoughts.

"Woah," Tony mumbled, gently pulling out of my sore and sloppy hole.

"Yeah," Stephen was finally speechless and tranquil. A picture of serendipity, really, with his arm thrown comfortably over his head and a sated little smirk on his face.

I couldn't resist pecking him on the lips as I slid off his body to nest myself between him and Tony who still seemed to be catching his breath. "You should be like this more often," I stated, feeling myself slip into drowsiness.

"Gimme a reason," Stephen mumbled, barely a trace of his usual sarcasm.

"Oh we will," Tony finished darkly, throwing a sheet over the three of us and settling a comfortable arm across my waist, palm flat on Stephen's tummy. Last thing I heard before I fell into a deep sleep was Stephen's blunt nails scratching softly along Tony's scalp.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

#Stephen Strange x reader x Tony Stark #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark smut #stephen strange smut #party favours #bun writes

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conservativetradlife · 3 years

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Hi! I’m a feminist who would like to dedicate her life to intellectual/spiritual/humanitarian pursuits (think St. Hildegarde, haha) as opposed to a domestic calling, but enjoy your content nonetheless. I hate the amount of people (many of whom are men) who use the “trad” label and quote Ephesians ... all while posting internet porn, or say disgusting things like “women’s holes are for *insert disgusting porn-addled comment here*”

I had written out a long response to this a few days ago, but pressed a bookmark when I was pulling up a tab and lost everything I had written. I was frustrated and decided to take care of this ask at a later point, and today feels like an appropriate day to do so, due to what I am seeing on my Dashboard today. Some of my points will be controversial. I get that, but please be respectful in answering, arguing or messaging me about my points.

Firstly, I want to encourage your choice of lifestyle and life goals. If your general pursuits for life, if its something you are truly passionate about (not simply attempting to personify a Saint while forgetting your own interests and desires outside of your perceptions of St Hildegarde) then all the more power to you. I think its a noble pursuit and the world is better off with more focus being directed towards Spiritual and Humanitarian activities. I will keep you in my prayers :)

I like to believe that my content is less centered around the ideals of domesticity and more towards intentional living. I started this blog wanting to idealize the Homemakers of the 50′s, and I have slowly began to realize what Traditionalism means to me and what kind of content I wish to put out into the world. I am idealizing my own life and hoping that those who share a similar vision for their futures (even if its without children or marriage) find comfort in my content.

Now, when it comes to the sexualization of the Traditional lifestyle (or at least, what some people believe to be traditionalism) I want to say very briefly that I understand what ‘kink’ is to people, but I also know what BDSM is supposed to be and the general servitude of women to their ‘Dominant’ halves is the only thing that rings even slightly familiar with what BDSM actually is and stands for.

To me, the sexualization of the Trad Women (someone who wishes to take up the classic ‘cultural norm’ of being the homemaker and Mother. Someone who relies on their husband as the prime breadwinner and finds self worth in their role in the home as Mother, Wife and Homemaker) is a sad example of where we as a culture have degenerated to. To know that men are craving a woman who WANTS to be wife and mother, who WANTS to be a stay at home woman and feels fulfilled by these pursuits, rather than what modern media has exposed as desirable. Women who are in media, exposing themselves, using their sexuality as their confidence and their general demeanor being viewed as crass and unattractive, in comparison to the modestly dressed religious wife, who stays home and bakes cookies and is waiting at the door when they get home.

When in history have we, as a society been so over-sexed?

When has pornographic content and sexually motivated news been so easily accessible? It is literally at our fingertips (via our cellphones, or simply looking at our various socials.) Its no wonder that someone would find sexual pleasure in the counterculture of someone who is the visual polar opposite of what they are blasted with daily. Someone who keeps their sexuality exclusive, who is honorably modest to themselves and to God, but most importantly, keeps what is meant to be sacred between a husband and wife (or between partners) private and sacred. It says a lot about our culture when that becomes the case.

Unfortunately, I find the vast majority of people who sexualize the lifestyle of a Traditional Women, are suffering from what my husband calls ‘Porn Brain.’

We feel as though we have to justify the fact we are attracted to modesty and Traditionalism, by throwing in scenarios that can be sexualized. One cannot simply enjoy what is, without having cherries on top (i.e attaching the sexual aspect to child rearing, preparing dinner, caring for ones husband.)

CARE to some people is defined in specific ways instead of a broad manner. I want to believe that some of the women in this sub-culture realize that to have a family, one needs to engage sexually with their husband if they wish to naturally conceive their children. Without medical intervention, or specific methods of delivery (to be crass, haha 😛) having sex with your partner (one who has testicles, sperm and a penis - to be 100% clear) to their partners ejaculation into their partners vagina (one who has a vagina, menstrual and ovulation cycle, uterus, fallopian tubes and egg laden ovaries) is the method with which one can conceive children. I don’t think that needs to be explained in the grand scheme, however, I feel as though a lot of Traditional women forget that this (if they wish to be mothers to children they have carried in their wombs, and birthed into the world) is a natural, important part of the process to becoming a Mother.

I can already hear the masses arguing that you don’t need to have sex to have children. That some people can’t have children (either by their own choice, or because of trauma or physical incapability) and they choose to adopt children, or go through IVF which doesn’t involve sex. Yes, thankyou. I don’t need to be reminded of this fact. What I am trying to express is that Sex is a natural part of a marriage (and there is nothing wrong with that, neither is not having sex for one reason or another. Every marriage is unique and the business of those who are married, not the scrutiny of those around them.) I want to believe that if someone is going to marry their partner, they are comfortable enough to have sex with them. If a pair want to have children the ‘natural’ way, then I assume they go into the marriage understanding that to do so, they need to have sex.

HOWEVER!! SEX IS NOT THE RELATIONSHIP. Sex is not (and should not) be the focus of a marriage between two people.

When people fetishize Traditionalism, I find that sex is the main factor that comes with it. They have some of the points that come with what encompasses Traditionalism to some people, but their focus isn’t on what makes a marriage work for both, rather simply looking at the sexual aspect, which is one point of what is part of marriage. It isn’t about the whole, but rather about the woman giving her body over to her husband for sex. It isn’t about the conceiving of children, but rather about mindless self indulgence. To preach religion while one does this, is bastardizing what the unions (both sex and marriage) are meant for.

Linking BDSM terminology with the fetishization, by boiling down the gender roles that come with Traditionalism (the woman is submissive to her husband in trusting that he can care for - financially, emotionally etc) into simply ‘Domination and Submission’ isn’t Traditional. There are equal parts expectation in the Traditional lifestyle, but also in the D/s relationship. The Dominant figurehead of a relationship (in both dynamics) is not simply the one who receives pleasure, while the submissive rolls over to their every whim. To simply view the submissive (usually female) in this role, is grossly oversimplifying a complex relationship between both roles. Just with how a Wife partakes in her role, the submissive does so as well. The Dominant doesn’t just DO what they want without thought of what the submissive wants, just as the husband doesn’t just DO what he wants without thinking of his wife, and that’s where I find problems with how Trads view BDSM, and how fetishists view Traditionalism. Equality is important for both roles, both partners have a say, BOTH partners can consent or decline things they don’t want, sexually or otherwise. If that equality doesn’t exist in either dynamic, then it isn’t a good marriage, nor a good D/s dynamic.

At the end of the day, sex is meant to be between two consenting partners. I believe that sex exists for a purpose and we as a society have been so exposed to it that looking back on relationships when it was sacred and still HAD purpose is incredibly alluring. In the hookup culture world we live in, sex is a commodity, and birth control exists so that the purpose of sex is forgotten. Men who fetishize Traditional Women aren’t looking at Traditionalism as a whole and what it means to be traditional. Its simply over sexed porn brain telling them that ‘once I have a wife, we’ll have sex all the time and she’ll take care of me. She’ll be sexy only for me and want sex with only me, while taking on the homemaker roles.’

These people aren’t looking for an equal partner. They are looking for a mother that they can have sex with. Someone that will take care of them, selflessly because they actively WANT to do so, with zero understanding that they themselves have things they want and need to make this an equal partnership.

I’m not going to get into the generalities of BDSM couples (nor how some traditionalists have a BDSM relationship ongoing beside their roles as husband and wife.) I will say that people who are in these relationships, aren’t in it simply for their own pleasure. There is nothing wrong with unconventional (kinky) sex between two consenting adults. What goes on in the bedroom of two people isn’t anyone’s business. Whether you like vanilla sex or whips and chains, its not anyone’s business but the people who are having sex. BDSM is not what’s wrong with these fetishists. Selfishness is what is wrong with these people, who think that having a traditional woman means their sexual needs will be met along with their household and human needs, while they themselves can do nothing.

Now, before I get jumped with another possible argument, about preference, let me quickly say that there is nothing wrong with having preferences in a partner. Some people like maternal women, women who love God, women who prefer to dress modestly, women who are Traditional. However, there is more to a woman that simply being Traditional. My husband loves me for more than just my goals of being a mother and homemaker. He also loves that I can sing, that I do funny dances when I eat good food. That I read books before bed or all varieties and have a dark sense of humor. He’s under no illusion that I am a perfect Trad all the time. Sometimes I want to watch True Crime documentaries instead of doing the dishes and he’ll bring home a frozen pizza for dinner.

Some people might be wholly dedicated to being Traditional and that can be appealing to people, there isn’t nothing wrong with dedicating your life to something you are passionate about, be that, as you (for example) said, intellectual/spiritual/humanitarian pursuits or otherwise. To do so can be a preference they have, but if that is ALL one thinks encompasses a person or partner and they can’t have interests or things they do otherwise, you find a problem. I am more than just a Tradwife and Mother. So are others.

This has turned into a very long winded explanation to a simple question, and I apologize for going heavily into depth about this. Simply put (or TL;DR) fetishizing Traditionalism isn’t right. There is a purpose for sex and forgetting that is only showing what is wrong with our modern ‘porn brain’ addled society. Linking BDSM to fetishists isn’t right either, because there is a difference between a D/s dynamic and someone who is looking for a doormat.

Preferring a partner who is Trad and nothing else diminishes a person into basic traits that dehumanizes them into an object that serves ones own selfish needs (”my partner will keep house, have sex with me and be happy because they want to. They’re supposed to be Trad. I’m the man of the house and they cater only to me.”) Woman are more than Trad and more than a sex object. People who forget that aren’t worth the time or energy to engage with and should be blocked on principle so not to circulate false truths about BDSM or Traditionalism. It gives a bad name to both of these kinds of lifestyles.

Thankyou for being patient with me in answering this, if you want to discuss this in depth, my messages are open and I’m more than happy to explain further if there are any questions or counter-arguments to any of the above.

God Bless and I’ll Keep You in My Prayers 💕

#personal #answers #traditional #trad

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hypnomicimagines · 4 years

Text

🌟Fluff Alphabet: A🌟

A – Affectionate (How affectionate are they with an S/O?)

BUSTER BROS

Yamada Ichiro

Ichiro tries not to constantly be in your space out of respect, worried about smothering you to the point you can’t stand being around him at all. He really likes to just sling an arm around your shoulder and pull you close to him, using the closeness to press a kiss to your cheek or temple when conversations go idle. He’s naturally affectionate to the point he doesn’t even notice he’s touching you or pulling you close half the time, simply liking to touch you in some way as it’s comforting to him. It’s gotten to the point where his brothers stick their tongues out at his behavior, making the eldest laugh as he tells them they’ll understand when they’re in love.

Yamada Jiro

Jiro wishes he was smooth enough to put the moves on you without second-guessing himself, especially in public when it could stop being from bothering you, but the bravest thing he can do is reach over to hook his pinky with yours. He generally hopes you’ll be the one to take the hint that he wants something more and grows frustrated if you don’t, trying to hype himself up to get to a full hand-holding session. He craves being more affectionate but he’s awkward about it, not knowing how to just admit that he wants it. He gets slightly better the longer you’re together but Jiro still prefers you just initiate so he can be reassured you want it, too.

Yamada Saburo

Saburo is the Yamada brother that values his space the most and isn’t as openly clingy as his older brothers. He likes existing in the same space as you and finds comfort in even the slightest touches like when you rest your head on his shoulder or hook arms with him. Cuddling or even asking for a hug feels like more advanced intimacy that he’s not fully prepared to ask from you, always fidgeting and glancing at you when he wants to do something but can’t bring himself to just act. It’s easy to read him to figure out when he wants some affection and even a simple kiss can tide him over for days.

MAD TRIGGER CREW

Aohitsugi Samatoki

Samatoki’s got an image he at least semi-attempts to keep up but generally fails around you as he can’t find it in him to deny you. If you pout enough he’ll give in and give you a quick kiss (heavily depending on who’s around) but he won’t do much more unless you’re in a more relaxed setting. If you’re in the VIP section of a club with the others in MTC he doesn’t care nearly as much since they both know you belong to him and often times you ended up on his lap, one hand on your thigh as he continued conversing with them like nothing happened.

Iruma Jyuto

Jyuto likes to keep a comfortable distance when you’re out in public together and he doesn’t feel the need to show you off like some others might, more affectionate with his words as your petname from him tends to slip out whether he intends it to or not. But in private there’s something about being cuddled up together that makes him feel at peace, arms solidly wrapped around you and refusing to let go unless one of you had something really important to do. There are some days where he comes home from work so exhausted all he wants to do is be held and to forget all the unfortunate things he’s gotten himself into.

Rio Mason Busujima

Rio goes back and forth but he’s always consistent with the fact he cares about you in his own way. He’s far better at taking care of your needs, like keeping you well fed and cleaning your clothes, compared to being physically affectionate just due to how awkward he is. He needs to be prompted to do anything even as simple as a hug and he’s always a gentleman, asking before he kisses or hugs you just to assure that’s what you want from him. It can be embarrassing how he always feels the need to call attention to it but Rio doesn’t like ‘reading between the lines’ preferring if you blatantly tell him what you want so he can be more efficient at fulfilling your needs.

FLING POSSE

Amemura Ramuda

Ramuda is more affectionate when he’s playing his ‘cutesy’ role out in public, constantly clinging to your side, showering your face in kisses (enjoying the jealous squeals of the other women at what a cute couple you were), and openly talking about all the things you did for him to Dice and Gentaro (also to make them jealous). Behind closed doors when he feels like he can act more himself he tends to like his space, enjoying being alone with his thoughts from time to time and given a moment to breathe even though it’s him trying to keep up this act. Granting him this space just leaves him ready to come curl up with you at night, mumbling sweet nothings and wondering how he’d managed to find someone this understanding.

Yumeno Gentaro

Gentaro is someone more independent, who doesn’t feel the need to see you every day and understands that adults have their own agendas to attend to. He can’t say he doesn’t miss you during these periods as being able to walk to a different part of the house that you’re relaxing in while he’s suffering from writers block just to exchange a few kisses can make a world of difference for his emotional state, but he doesn’t want to appear to reliant on you. But he loves quiet simple moments where you’re sitting on a couch watching a movie together, fingers interlaced as you turn to each other from time to time to offer up a comment.

Arisugawa Dice

Dice doesn’t notice that he’s constantly touching you or just incredibly close because he’s always been that way, even before you were dating; he just naturally finds himself drawn towards you and accepts that that’s where he’s supposed to be. He can be quite needy when you’re alone together, whining that he wants your attention if you’re too focused on some other task for a while, nudging you, leaning against you, doing anything he can to be a distraction to get the love he craves.

MATENRO

Jinguji Jakurai

Jakurai is awkward and bumbling with his affection, liking to brush hair out of your eyes or indulge in gentle touches, cupping your face, stroking your cheeks, showing his subtle doting care style. He wants to do so much more but he always talks himself out of it, worried it’ll be too much or that he’d be pushing some boundary that he didn’t know about. Openly communicating and letting him know he can, indeed, reach out to hold your hand or hug you from behind without having to ask permission first (situation permitting) will do wonders for the relationship and you’ll find Jakurai is actually far more affectionate than he’d originally shown.

Izanami Hifumi

Hifumi’s affection is a little more downplayed when he’s not in ‘host mode’ but not by much, his affection generally coming out more when he does things for you rather than physically (not that he’s lacking in that department either). Hifumi’s lovin’ can be quite sudden as he likes to come up from behind you suddenly, arms wrapping around your waist as he asks what you’re doing, sometimes even extending to him jumping on your bed to wake you up and ending up falling asleep with you again because of how comfortable it is to lay with you.

Kannonzaka Doppo

Doppo second-guesses himself a lot which stops him from doing some of the things he’d like to do but he tries to be affectionate, wanting to show you how you make him feel and also wanting to show he can be a good boyfriend (just in case you had doubts). He feels like he could probably do better, he could probably hold you or kiss you more, but you don’t seem unhappy with how things are. The easiest time for him to express his feelings for you are in the morning or at night after he’s finally home from work, so sleepy he doesn’t even care if he appears like a clingy nuisance, just wanting his daily dose of your love to help lull him to sleep.

BAD ASS TEMPLE

Harai Kuko

Kuko isn’t the type to hold back so you can guarantee that if he wants to do something, he’s gonna do it. He’s been scolded before for just going for it instead of acting and he tries not to just go off his instinct, carefully reading the situation to see what might be most appropriate. He doesn’t think you should lie to him either and if you want him to back off some he won’t mind; he likes being left alone too and has his moods where he also doesn’t want to be touched, having no issue with telling you he wants to be left alone.

Aimono Jyushi

Jyushi really, truly, just wants to shower you with all the love he has in his heart for you (which is a lot) but he can’t always bring himself to act on it, instead using his dramatic words to let you know how highly he thinks of you. He likes the cuter shows of affection and always seems stunned that you want to kiss or hold his hand in public, tearing up as you’re holding hands and loving when you give him that reassuring squeeze that lets you know even if he cries a bit you’re not embarrassed to be there with him. It goes a long way with Jyushi to be able to act loving towards you in public and though he seems to make a mad dash out of your personal space after giving you a smooch, you can’t say you don’t love it.

Amaguni Hitoya

Hitoya values his own space, he likes to be left alone and at night he gets too hot to constantly be cuddled up with you, but he knows how to take care of you. Cuddling is probably his favorite thing to do and he doesn’t mind it when you pull him away from a heavy case momentarily, arms draped around his shoulders as he leans back against you with closed eyes, simply enjoying the closeness. He’s the type to just like when you’re near him, in the same house, not really minding if you’re doing separate activities.

DOTSUITARE HOMPO

Nurude Sasara

When you’re alone you and Sasara could practically morph into one being with how often he wants to just be close to you, even if his job is partially to blame; there are so many nights where he comes home and you’re already out cold, or you’re working when he’s finally got a day off, so he tries to make it count. He jokes all the time about being clingy but you hadn’t realized the joke had plenty of foundation in reality until you’d moved in with him. He’s not above backing off when you want space but it seems like he’s always in the mood to cuddle, jumping into action when you get into cuddle position without you even having to say a word.

Tsutsujimori Rosho

Rosho loves when you’re sitting next to him on the couch when you’re either watching something or he’s just reading and you sling your legs across his lap, showing how comfortable you truly were with him; he likes resting a hand on your knee (sometimes feeling spicy enough to get slightly further up your thigh) and just feeling you, knowing you’re there even if you’re not talking bringing him immense comfort. He can’t say he’d reject cuddling ever either but he prefers keeping it toned down in public where his students might see him, knowing how invested in his personal life the nosier ones can get even with something as simple as holding hands.

Amayado Rei

Rei’s affection level heavily depends on the relationship you have and how much you actually want out of him. If you’re the type who needs to be loved constantly, who wants to have him holding you at every moment, he can work with that just as much as someone who doesn’t want to be touched at all. He doesn’t have a personal preference and finds fulfillment in the relationship either way though he’s notably more affectionate when you’re his actual significant other compared to someone he considers just a fling or a friend with benefits.

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fandom-necromancer · 3 years

Text

You and me against the world

This was prompted by an amazing anon! The universe didn’t want this story written, but I summoned my inner Gavin and said phck the universe. I hope you enjoy! The lost version is better stylistically, but I still like it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: Graphic depiction of violence, Hank is OOC for the sake of having an antagonist) [Part2]

It should have been easy: Sit in a room, drink some water, look important, answer some questions and get back to work. Had Gavin known how it ended, he would have never agreed to do this stupid live interview about human-android relations after the revolution.

‘Hello! This is Joss Douglas from Channel 16, reporting live from the DPD’s fifth precinct where the very first android joined the police force. We have the unique possibility to interview not one but two human-android work partners. Let’s greet Lieutenant Anderson and Connor, who had worked here even before deviation, as well as Nines and Detective Reed!’ Gavin tried to keep up a neutral but nor intimidating face and hoped Hank to lead the talk. Their dislike was mutual, but at least they had managed to stay professional so far. He nodded his greeting after Connor and Hank answered with a polite hello. ‘Okay, then let’s jump in right away!’ The reporter announced flashing a well-trained smile that should calm as well as impress. ‘I guess the question most people out there would love to ask is how it is to work as a deviant with the police. During the revolution it isn’t too wrong to assume you had been opposing forces.’ The reporter looked towards Nines with it, but the android redirected it: ‘I believe Connor can say more to that. I’ve been activated after the revolution as a deviant from the start. I can only say that my human co-workers have been generally accepting and nice. We do face problems sometimes when we have cases involving deviants that suffer from trauma caused by previous actions. Though we hope to become better and change that.’ The reporter nodded and turned towards Connor. ‘Then let’s ask you then! How did your life pre-deviation influence you? Were you treated differently afterwards?’

Gavin listened to Connor being polite and diplomatic only with half an ear, instead focussing on how they all avoided calling names. No one said something about being a machine or robot. Well, he guessed it was better that way, although he still didn’t believe in seeing them as all human. He knew Nines very intimately by now and he had noticed himself how forgetting they were steel and plastic had caused unnecessary harm. But he came to the wise conclusion it was probably best not to say that on public television. Next the reporter asked Hank and him how it was working during the revolution and both answered mostly by telling the truth: That they had investigated the cases like any other, but were very glad not to be involved in trying to suppress the revolution. It would have felt wrong. That likely was the only topic he and Hank would ever agree on.

‘Without doubt there are a lot of challenges deviants as well as humans out there face figuring out this still new situation. Have you faced any yourselves?’ Connor was eager to answer, clearly the more enthusiastic to help androids make use of their rights, being part of the revolution himself: ‘There have been some challenges in the beginning, but after a few months, things started to change really quickly.’ The reporter seemed just as eager to jump on it. This clearly had been what he had wanted to talk about all along. ‘Oh, would you mind elaborate on that a bit? I believe quite a few androids face some kind of problems these days. I think it is time to face them together!’ Gavin had relaxed quite a bit from the initial nervousness. It seemed Connor and Hank were comfortable leading this whole thing, while him and Nines stayed in the backseat and answer with additions and different perspectives. At least until Hank spoke up, joking: ‘I believe, Gavin here could tell you a lot about that.’

Oh no, please, did the old phck really have to deal that blow? The reporter seemed just as confused, having read the natural feeling of their personalities. Connor was quick for an attempt at damage control: ‘Hank, I don’t think-‘ But the reporter had caught himself and apparently taken it for a genuine cue. ‘Oh, that would be lovely, Detective Reed.’ Gavin sighed, remembering they were on TV. He thought how to put this best without looking like the man Hank wanted him to frame as. ‘Well… you see… Me and Connor didn’t get along at first. When he was still a ma- Before he deviated, I saw him as one of these “robot-overlords” that were sent to replace us.’ He did think to quickly add air quotes to that. ‘I did things that… weren’t exactly nice, but I have since-‘ ‘You tried to kill him. Multiple times’, Hank interrupted.

Gavin gaped at him. So that’s what they were playing? He knew Hank didn’t like him and that he wanted to drive a wedge between him and Nines, who he saw as almost a son. Damn overprotective bastard, it wasn’t as if he had changed since then and- ‘You did?’, the reporter asked too shocked to remember doing his job. Gavin’s brain worked overtime trying to find a way out of this one, but when he had opened his mouth, Hank had already began. ‘Before the revolution he viewed them as simple machines that weren’t alive. As if deviancy was nothing but a bug. Roughing up an android suspect wasn’t out of the question.’ Nines sat up straighter, before Gavin could do something dumb on life TV. ‘May I add that Detective Reed never did and never would do such a thing and that the statement was meant as a joke at that time?’ Apparently the reporter realised his interview had been derailed and wanted to regain power over it, but Hank had other ideas: ‘Yeah, but he threatened him with a gun – I think twice - hit him and called him names.’ ‘Is this true?’

Gavin had managed to stay calm until now. But this was enough. What did the idiot think he was doing? So he did what he could do best: explode. ‘Yes. Yes, it is true. I was an asshole, am still, but me and Connor came to terms. We talked about it. I regret it. I have even fallen in love with one of these plastic pricks! And I talked about my ways with Nines and we are still together. Maybe you don’t understand it Hank, but it is like it is! So phck you and your stupid schemes! This interview is over!’

With that he marched out of the room and called himself a taxi home.

Of course, the live broadcast had been a disaster that had become famous for all the wrong reasons. At least the protesters outside had subsided a week later and Fowler had had his back by letting him off the hook with a disciplinary and Hank on patrol duty for his shitty behaviour. Didn’t mean life was back to normal. His favourite bar had thrown him out, as the android bartender had politely explained they didn’t serve robophobic fuckers like him there. Not that anyone in Detroit thought of him highly. Cases had become difficult as witnesses refused to speak with him or even became violent upon seeing him. It was surprising Nines still had his back. The tall android had stepped in front of him every single time, catching fists directed his way and explaining in his most intimidating voice that personal opinions would not advance the investigation. By now Gavin was happy to get the gruesome cases. The cases that involved dead bodies en masse without any ties to the living world.

But hell, this was not what he had wanted. Not at all. He was a detective, goddamnit! And he had changed, he had put real effort in too! And now all of that had been torn down by Hank phcking Anderson. Phcking hell… He stared at the screen without any ambition, tracing the specks of blood, overlying Nines’ analysis and the forensics’ data. It was likely a suicide after an overdose that had destroyed the woman’s ability to think clearly, but Gavin would be damned if he wouldn’t be thorough. Only that by now he was craving a cigarette. He had to relax, get his mind off of this whole shit-show. Maybe he needed a vacation. Maybe he should ask for a transfer. But for now, a cigarette would do.

So, he decided to call it quits for today. He would take some of his overtime for this. He grabbed his jacket and waved his hand half-heartedly at Nines. ‘See ya tomorrow, tin-can.’ Then he headed outside, a stick already on his lips fumbling to get the lighter on in the strong autumn wind. It had gotten cold far too early in the year. He finally ignited the cigarette and put his hands in his pockets, walking down the street. He had sat in a chair far too long already and decided to get home by foot for once. At least until he decided otherwise. He took a few shortcuts through back alleys, trying to escape the sharp winds of the main streets, puffing out clouds of smoke and breath. He wasn’t really thinking about anything, letting his feet carry him on. Maybe that was how he couldn’t see the fist coming for his face and then his stomach.

He doubled over and saw the cigarette falling to the ground weirdly clear. All air seemed to have left his lungs as he knelt on the cold floor holding his middle. ‘This is the man, right?’ ‘Yeah. What a piece of shit!’ ‘Oh, this will be fun.’ Gavin groaned. How could he ever have thought androids and humans were different? Everyone was just full of the same bullshit. ‘Get up!’ Someone grabbed him by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up to his feet. Gavin stood face to face with an android, two more behind him. A woman and one that apparently chosen not to present their skin. Not that Gavin cared, the three were here to beat him up, that was all he needed to know. Phck, Fowler would hate the hospital costs. This still counted as an accident on the journey from work, right? God, he hoped it was. He didn’t have a beautiful face to begin with, but he really didn’t want another go at how phcked up do you want to look versus how much are you willing to pay.

At least these ridiculous thoughts left him as the android that had picked him up pushed him against a wall and pinned him while the skinless one threw the next punch to his jawline. Gavin felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and blinked them free, just to get the next strike to his sternum again and when he gasped for air, someone kicked his legs from underneath him. Unable to react fast enough, Gavin flopped to the ground, remembering his lessons to roll in his head to his chest and keep it there. The least thing he wanted was to get hit in the head and fall unconscious while the androids had their fun. There were better ways to die.

He rolled to his side as a boot connected with his shoulder and burrowed his head in his arms for protection. Maybe if he could get a good kick at one of them, he could roll over and escape. Maybe he could make it to the main street where people could help him. Not that he expected them to, but he couldn’t fight three androids on his own. But unfortunately, his foot didn’t hit a leg but a hand, as the woman grabbed and lifted his leg, turned him around and kicked where it hurt most. Gavin couldn’t suppress a whine as the pain paralyzed him. He once again rolled up into a ball and tried to protect his vulnerable areas. Maybe he should have fallen unconscious, he thought as boots and punches made his whole body light up in pain. Somewhere along the way one of his teeth got knocked loose and he tasted blood in his mouth. As he opened his eyes the next time the world was a blurry mess. Maybe they would stop soon. Maybe someone had called the police. But no, the only thing he saw was a fourth silhouette joining the three. Well, that was just his luck, wasn’t it? Who cared how much you changed? All that mattered was how the world saw you and in his case the world had made up its mind a long time ago. He pressed his eyes closed and braced for more.

But nothing came. Until there were hands on him. ‘No’, he begged. ‘Please, don’t.’ But the hands continued mapping his body and Gavin noticed they were gentle. They didn’t hurt, didn’t press down on them but simply examined him. He dared to relax a little and uncurl, but the tiny movement made everything ache. Apparently, Gavin had groaned, because the stranger spoke up: ‘Shh, it’s fine, Gavin. I’m here. You are safe.’ ‘Tin-can?’, Gavin slurred and made the effort to look up. It really was Nines and he threw him a soft smile. ‘Yes. You left early and you forgot your keys. Wanted to bring them to you, but you already left by foot, so I followed. I’m sorry I wasn’t here faster.’ ‘You are here now’, Gavin sighed and God, was he tired. ‘Hey, stay with me now. You don’t get to seep just yet, wait until you’re home and showered.’ Nines turned him around gently and finally nodded. ‘Aright. You are beaten up pretty badly, but it’s nothing serious. Minor wounds, but a lot of them. I’ll get you home, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. You will feel better in no time.’

Gavin smiled and lifted his hand to lay on his cheek and Nines took it to hold there. ‘Why do you still stick around?’, the human asked. ‘After what happened I’m basically target practise. You’d have it easier without me.’ ‘I don’t want that’, Nines said, wrapping Gavin in his jacket. ‘Come on, if the whole world says I’m an asshole there has to be some truth to it.’ ‘I don’t care what the world has to say about you’, Nines said and snaked an arm under his back. ‘I love you’, he said with vehemence. ‘I know you. The real you. And that’s everything that matters to me.’

With that, Nines picked him up and pulled him to his chest, carrying the beaten human towards the street, where a cab was already waiting. ‘I’d say it’s you and me against the world’, he whispered as he sat him down on the backseat. But Gavin had already fallen asleep.

[>next part]

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #okay Hank was a real asshole in this I admit I feel bad #but it was kinda fitting #what was the tag?#author bends the canon brutally to get his will?#something along the lines #Hope you like this #has been fun to write!

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legendoftheghost · 4 years

Text

NSFW Headcanon: Jin Sakai

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Jin believes practicing aftercare will naturally develop closer, more intimate bonds with his partner. After sex, he is particularly vulnerable; they’re naked, they have (hopefully) just had an orgasm, and one of the most intrinsic need for him is that need to ensure that positive state of mind continues. Everyone feels good when he knows his partner cares for him, and what better way to show it than tending to his partner when they both are in a vulnerable post-sex state of mind? Jin is especially susceptible to the post-coital blues, and even when he is seemingly highly independent, somewhat repressed and distanced with expressing emotions, I think this will be the perfect time for him to take a plunge and attempt to cuddle and engage in deeper conversations.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His entirety? Despite his fears of failure and flaws on his body, Jin Sakai is a man comfortable in his skin. From the crown of his head to the end of his toe, Jin Sakai has a body of a seasoned warrior; as a disciplined samurai, he had learned not only martial arts, but swordsmanship, horse riding, hunting, how to survive in the wilderness with bare essentials, and he literally has zero ounce of excessive fat on his body.

He’s not the strongest, biggest warrior, a powerhouse who can dominate and overwhelm enemies with brute strength, but he’s compact, sculpted with enough muscle definition, and corded with lean strength that only comes from meticulous care. Younger Jin used to hate the scar that would continue to bleed and bruise due to excessive bullying, but now that he is the Ghost, he thinks it only gives him character. After all, scars build character. And out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars, and Jin Sakai is a prime example of one.

Jin isn’t very particular when it comes to his partner’s favorite body part, but if his partner has anything that contrasts Jin’s own, he would obsess over that and touch him/her over and over. It could be the sensuous curve of the woman’s narrow waistand widening hips, the budding swell of her breasts and slender neck, or another man’s expansive chest and strong arms and legs embracing and cradling him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t like the mess, and would prefer if he came inside his partner, but the one thing he finds it extremely appealing is coming on his partner’s stomach.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jin loves talking about sex with partners, friends, whoever. To him, sex in essentiality is a fascinating subject that's different for each individual yet common to people all (in some way), and he finds it endlessly depressing that it's a taboo subject.everybody (for the most part) needs sex and wants to have sex, so Jin believes that people should be able to talk about it openly, and he will sass and awkwardly joke and humor with insinuations of sex in normal conversations.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He snuck into Clan Sakai and Shimura’s personal archive / library and would sneak in some erotic illustrations of the time in curiosity. Despite the general lack of experience and focusing on his strenuous trainings, he would have fulfilled some curiosity of sexual exploration through masturbation and through secretive excursions with Ryuzo.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

His preferred positions are; The Victory position, Doggy Style, Shoulder Hold, Lifted Missionary, and Lotus

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Appearing too serious is Jin Sakai’s greatest flaw; being too serious which is Jin’s principal trait doesn't seem like such a bad thing, but it could create some issues regarding sexual explorations.

Social anxiety.

Perfectionism.

Social awkwardness.

Fight or Flight responses to most things (Can't laugh inconveniences off or smoothly escape conflicts because of over seriousness, which is likely to do the opposite, in other words escalate minor conflicts to big ones).

Overthinking and not living in the moment.

Not having fun due to exaggerated thinking about the consequences.

Jin may be a sassmaster and likes to throw in some dry humor in between, but that’s his coping mechanism to lesson and ease his insecurity and stress that stems from even the sexual act itself, but in the act, he’s deadpan serious.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Judging by the full thatch of his beard, I’d like to think that he’s pretty thick and ample down there as well, peppered with hair below his belly button, and a nice, sizable thatch of his pubic hair.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Jin does crave intimacy during sex, and this is something which becomes very important to him. Jin is at his most vulnerable, candor, raw, and open, and if it’s not a casual sex only to fulfill the needs to get off than anything else, Jin still needs and wants to build some sort of friendship or connection beforehand. Their sexual performance is then more about action than it is about emotions and deeper layers of intimacy, and with more deeply-connected intimacy, he would rather focus on both the physical and mental connection, which could make it much difficult to come with him. Regardless, he is tender, and will attempt to initiate; especially stroking his partner’s back, the side of his/her face, raking through his/her hair, etc.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jin likes the stop-squeeze technique, which is a form of ejaculatory control. It allows him to near the point of climax and then back off suddenly by holding the tip of the penis until the sensation subsides. He likes to do this multiple times to make his orgasm much more intense. While it could be a tedious or time-consuming practice, he likes that explosiveness and exquisite high he gets from it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Shibari (kinbaku), aka rope sex: Contrasts are central to Shibari: intricate geometric patterns with the natural curves of the body, rough rope against soft skin and vulnerability side by side with strength. The practice can also lead to a trance-like experience for the tied partner and a rush of adrenalin for the artist, or rigger.

Erotic Asphyxiation (breath play): This type of sexual activity involves intentionally cutting off the air supply for you or your partner with choking, suffocating, and other acts. People who are into breath play say it can heighten sexual arousal and make orgasms more intense.

Dirty Talk: Jin can have a little trouble getting out of his own mind. However, in this case, it’s less about being able to connect to the body than it is a fear of letting go. A little dirty talk goes a long way in making him forget his fears and let loose.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Taking in consideration of his fugitive life, it would be somewhere relatively hidden and private. Especially in nature; against the tree trunk, near the lake or an ocean when the weather accompanies Jin’s mood, and empty, abandoned houses.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Jin is almost always turned on, and has higher than normal sex drive. He’s one of those who craves intimacy and wants to share himself with someone special, even though it doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t participate in any given opportunities when they are presented. It can feel like a chore and not really something he wants to waste their time or energy on if they cannot converse well to begin with. There must be underlying honesty and genuinity in order for Jin to at least partake in a casual sex.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Cockiness – specifically unwarranted arrogance accompanied by a smug attitude. Lack of a sense of humor – unless they’re the one dishing it out. Flaking – because flakes are some of the most unappealing individuals to build any type of relationship with. Being goalless and content with life — having zero aspirations for the future. Liars – but not even about significant stuff. Just unnecessary lies, made up stories and exaggerations when a fib is pointless. Vulgar language finding its way into every, single, sentence spoken. Baseless cattiness, malicious comments and disdain toward others. Humiliation and degradation. BDSM for BDSM’s sake without exploration, caution, and mutual respect.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s much more inclined to receive than give. While Jin lacks the scope of experiences, he is skilled with his tongue, very attentive, considerate, and careful to observe his partner’s reaction. Because he is a perfectionist, he will attempt his absolute best to pleasure his partner and send him/her over the edge. He expects the same when he’s on the receiving end.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

The act in itself is viewed essentially as a series of steps to his and his partner’s mutual satisfaction. It entirely depends on their shared needs. As a dominant top, Jin is likely to be a very passionate lover, focused on the connection he gains from this experience. He does appreciate and sees how much closer sex can bring him to someone he loves, and would rather be patient waiting for the right person to share this with, because for him to reach this step, it would have taken a lot of trial and error. He definitely likes things to built up towards the climax, exploring different positions to find their needs satisfied.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Jin actually prefers quickie, because it offers a much-needed opportunity to relieve stress, strengthen a relationship, and get off at a time when intimacy, connection, and, well, time, are luxuries (especially with him on the run). Prefers mutual masturbations, than penetrative sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Jin is likely to be a very passionate lover, focused on the connection he gains from this experience. He sees how much closer sex can bring him to someone he loves, and would rather be patient waiting for the right person to share this with. If he’s in a long-term relationship, he will be more than willing to experiment and take risks. It all depends on their shared interest, and Jin would be open to try everything at least once.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

From his strenuous training as not only as a samurai, but as the Ghost on the run, Jin has extremely high stamina and will be able to go on for more than a few rounds if his partner is up for it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Occasionally will use Geisha balls / beaded necklaces for added pleasure, mostly one another in reciprocated masturbations.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He isn’t very good at teasing, unless it’s with words. He is rather straightforward with his actions, because he doesn’t like to deceive with his affectionate, tender touches.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

On the quiet side, and for most of the lovemaking, he will make soft, gentle moans that turn into animalistic grunt when he’s on the verge of orgasm.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Perhaps one of the simplest, yet most potent sexual fantasies Jin has is just having his partner direct the sex script for the night. Whether it's a full-on dominant or simply a partner who knows what he or she wants and how to get it, he finds the thrill of a confident and sexual partner to be very appealing.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He is uncircumcised, his shaft is curved slightly upward, with veins that snake along the underside. His member is longer than average (around 13cm when erect) and has considerable girth (9 centimeters when erect).

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Jin has rather active sex drive. It’s not a particularly powerful sex drive, for he could always resort to, and might prefer his own imaginations. His inner minds are rather rich place, and he doesn’t always feel like outwardly expressing this side of himself.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

All depends on Jin’s condition on that day; judging on the Ghost’s life (on the run, essentially a fugitive ronin), and a slew of traumas and PTSD trailing his back, Jin Sakai suffers from insomnia. While he has high stamina and could go for more than a couple of rounds when he’s in a particularly frisky mood, but one intense round could have him knocked out exhausted. He’s a kind of a guy that sneaks in sleep whenever and however it comes, so he would let himself fade away for an hour or two, before he’s coaxed to awake.

#▬▬ι═══════ﺤ || the storm of clan sakai (headcanon)#(nsfw)#jin sakai #ghost of tsushima #(compiled into one large post)

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