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#knowing that they ARE little but even if they arent! the sneezes are! they cant fight that!

petewentzisblack1312 · 13 days

Note

any beginners advice for flight rising?

the number one rule of flight rising is have fun and be yourself. the number two rule of flight rising is the economy is out to get you.

because of the way the loot tables work if youre low level in scavenging you seemingly have a much higher chance of getting unhatched eggs that way, just because there arent that many other things you can get at that level. they sell for a lot of either currency on the auction house so if you get one a good way to get money is to sell it. a lot of people, myself included, are quite sentimental and hatching unhatched eggs is fun bc its like a gacha but what constitutes a good pull is completely subjective. hatch or dont, do what you want.

that being said, if you hatch an unhatched egg and get a double, or if youre insanely lucky, a triple (that is a dragon with 2 or 3 of the same colours) because of how rare that is and how easy it is to make an aesthetically cohesive dragon with 2 or 3 of the colours being the same, theyre very very valuable. i once got a one off triple charcoal and sold it in an auction (different from the auction house) for 25kg. however. thats incredibly unlikely. if youre hatching unhatched eggs to make money off of what you hatch, you will make a loss. just sell the eggs. hatch eggs for the thrill of the chase.

people generally prefer unbred dragons, especially unbred g1s. however, you can breed your dragons if you want. i do! its your dragons, do what you want with them. itll tank the resale value but how sad would that be to have something that you love that you never really get to love because you might make money on it some day. breed any dragons you want if you want to. dont breed any if you dont. and i recommend not breeding anything you have as an investment.

maxing out your lucky streak in the fairgrounds every day is a solid way to make money. i used to do that when i was new, stopped, and started again when achievements were introduced. 75k treasure a day is really nothing to sneeze at. glimmer and gloom is the fastest but i know some people have trouble learning the algorithm or otherwise cant stand it. pick your poison!

the number one piece of advice i ever got in flight rising is to avoid any trades with crim worth more than 500 treasure. i would tack on 'unless its a battlestone other than one used for popular coliseum builds'. if shes offering more than 500 its probably apparel or something that you could sell on the auction house for more.

this really depends on what type of player you turn out to be, but i personally wish i thought a little harder about breeding my dragons. i take their ancestry into account in my lore but when i started i used my permas (dragons that you intend to keep) for fodder breeding and boy do i regret that. im attached to these dragons but they have a long list of offspring that are exalted. id say dragons you think are cool and dragons you want to breed should be a venn diagram that is almost two circular tangents unless youre sure you dont care. but also. lifes short. breed your progens 50gazillion times if you really want to. exalt them even. who give a fuck.

someone tricked a friend of mine this way so just so you know leveling to 25 is for dragons that you plan to grind with it is strategically not a good idea to level dragons to exalt to 25. ive already explained the value of doubles and triples so i dont think youll end up randomly exalting one of em.

if you can use the coliseum and you dont hate it i do recommend investing in a team to train fodder to exalt or to grind the coliseum and resell materials. one of the biggest flaws of fr is actually how dependent it currently is on the coliseum for gameplay. theres new gameplay in the pipeline. but its not imminent.

theres more. i cant think of it. keep asking questions if you want

#dils declares #flight rising

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guideaus · 1 year

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tristamp ep 10 thoughts

zazie is info dumping again

idk if the orange writers think this makes sense, or maybe its wrong of me to use irl logic, but vegetation would not replace a magical resource that gives u water, electricity, etc., i think at best the air would get better lol

i dont know why conrad is info dumping either lmao

i cant say i like july's generic cyberpunk vibe. ik i saw a lot of ppl after tristamp wonder how anyone can even build anything in this world, and then tristamp does this with july lol

vash's sneeze was funny to me

vash is spider-man now fhdfjdsfds??? his flimsy little arm looks like it wouldve broke w 2 ppl

i just think its crazy they have a character finally say smth significant to vash and its another faceless goon

vash does not fucking respond to anything in this series

and that scene somehow felt like nothing

conrad's operation room has got some violations

and him just being like "yes, and here's where i do my experiments..." is so funny

i HATE eg mine being included. originally before any tristamp nonsense, i was like "hmm, wonder if knives shared some tech w his guns" but here eg mine apparently being associated with them... when knives just kills him. it makes no sense 😭😭

AND WASNT CONRAD JUST SHOWN TO APOLOGIZE TO KNIVES IN THE LAST EP??? in tristamp the plants arent really human (in the way that theyre probably fucking aliens or some shit 100%, not like in trimax where theyre experimented on humans to become something more, but thats how i always interpreted it), but even still why would he keep doing it lmao. "sorry, we're terrible" *keeps experimenting but in a slightly different way* ???

if he wants humans to basically become independant plants, wouldnt that be helping humanity in a way, why would knives allow that. i might be basing this on trimax's knives, but still. i think tristamp knives still hates people right? i dont think he'd be like "oh, so you're a plant now? sure, thats fine, whatever."

roberto adding to the inexplicable Perception, too, i see

i think it kinda sucks that tristamp kinda connects all the antagonists? EoM and Knives' gang. i think Livio and Chapel indirectly work for knives, but through Legato's commands, but they dont really have a shared goal? while in tristamp it feels direct... if that makes sense, idk

ww is still an asshole :(

vash's body looks weird. does meat look like that?? is that normal?? and wtf is the random lines and shit. i feel like im watching cyberpunk edgerunners

not to be one of those ppl who blame everything on the mcu, but why tf is this scene so dark. cant see shit

vash's scars revelation here is also just strange in general. in the manga it was a good early prompt into vash's issues, meryl & milly see and meryl insists he should retire from his life, and vash says he cant bc of his bro, but vash is also a pacifist so thats his price, this moves milly and meryl. while here its just... idk. feels random, and another excuse for tsundere ww to call out passive vash

conrad being fucking mad scientist AGAIN is so funny. he looks like he turned evil here. yesterday i had a post cooking up abt him and knives' relationship, but this just feels funny. how is knives allowing him to live here, even if its with the humans

cocoon knives back at the piano

tree. who knows if it means anything or if its like the previous imagery used so far

some cute elf bitches

expecting me to believe knives would willingly help him experiment on anything is just... knives i think is a hiuge hypocrite, judgemental, and reactive and those are flaws i like about his character, i dont think he'd allow this LMAO

are they gonna kill vash

is conrad transphobic here or is elendira's gender changed? and was she like. fake napping just to wake up to be like "um, who are you calling poor" and attack or fjsdhsjds

i dont even get what theyre pushing. tristamp LOVES having characters throw "monster" around, but then also elendira is attacking while saying they judge her. what theme is being pushed lol. and why is she even attacking

i forgot to say, but i hate what they did to elendira, btw.

ROBERTO IS NOW DYIGN FHSDJSKKJDS no one saw him injured... vash just waved their asses off fshdjsas???

i think her expressions are good there

i cannot say how much i disagree with wolfwood's initial ideals being overlayed with meryl's apparent newfound determination in response to her senior dying. ww's "you need to kill to survive" is his own lie to himself to cope with being a child soldier, called out by vash in the beginning of trimax and serves as character development he moves on from. having meryl take that as a lesson is incredibly strange. i strongly disagree with that take. her just going to a shooting range and maybe learning the basics would arguably be more significant for her lmao

tristamp just does not do a good job w vashwood's relationship. at all. if i just saw this i'd roll my eyes at shippers. theres nothing there

why did knives ask why he's there. isnt ww implied at least to have brought him there on orders from him

where are zazie and legato btw

did conrad just fucking leave to his office lmao. "oh no the people i was info dumping to are getting attacked by elendira! ...eh"

is that tesla??

whys his knife got an eyeball. whose is it

CONRAD IS BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS AGAIN IN THIS SCENE. DOES KNIVES KNOW ABOUT TESLA?? HOW IS CONRAD STILL DOING THIS FJHSDJDS

tristamp loves just throwing around aspects of catholicism without actually... fitting it in. like they just use it when its convenient, eps having antagonists preach it

the piano activated floor trap is funny

idk what knives could be referring to, so we'll see i guess

#personal #trigun stampede spoilers

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souichieatr · 3 years

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suna x gn reader with a septum

a/n: this is for my birthday boy and bc ive recently gotten one i hope its not too bad </3 , 688 words

unedited , pt.2

WARNING: this mentions jjk and some of its characters but no spoilers , lowercase intended

on the rare days you and suna let yourself relax and be lazy, you both are laying in your living room catching up on shows youve both been waiting to watch together. resting in between your legs with his face resting on your chest. suddenly he looks at you moving his right arm to your face, playing with the newly added jewelry youve gotten. “this is the first time im actually seeing this, you always flip it up” he says adding a cute pout at the end. “oh dont pout ive been sending you pictures of it also i dont wanna get caught by the school” you say swatting his hand away “keep putting your sweaty hands in my nose im going to sneeze on you” you say turning to watch the show again. a few seconds go by when a hand goes to your nose again. “rin what-” you start before he cuts you off “what if i got one?” he says flipping the jewelry up as you scrunch your nose. “where is this coming from?” looking fully at him, he shrugs continuously flipping it up and down making sure to be gentle. “rin i love you but for the love god please stop messaging with it i dont want it to get infected you know i have sensitive skinnnnn” you say squirming away. he moves his arm around your waist with the other following “i just cant wrap my head around that you actually got it and how good you look if you didnt look good before wow, im really in love” he whispers the last part moving his head in your chest. “what was that last part?” you say grabbing his chin making him look up at you. “dont worry about it, its already in the past” he says, smirking, grabbing your hand on his chin and interlacing his with yours. “rin you dont even have your ears pierced and you want to piece your face?” you say in a teasing tone, “yeah and what about it, ear piercings are overrated” he says rolling his eyes. laughing at his little joke you kiss his forehead “y/n we could get matching jewelry too” “rin are you even allowed to have piercings in volleyball especially face ones?” he lets out a yawn and another shrug at your question, laying his head back down and watching the show. “speaking of overrated i think gojo is overrated everyone sleeping on panda” he says “arent you a gojo simp? ive seen your spam tweets you dweeb” you say nudging him with your connected hands. “nah babe i think im turning into a sukuna simp have you seen the way he moves? god shit” he says unlocking your hands and turning around so his back is towards your chest. “man i hate sukuna hmph” you say huffing “what that cutie do to you?” he says chuckling at your reaction, noting you dont say anything. “y/n,,,did you watch ahead of me?” he says slowly turning around to face you. you turn your head towards the couch cushion “nah i dont know what youre talking about rin i think youre becoming delusional” you say moving your head as he gets close. “you did didnt you?!? you said youd watch it with me” he says moving back with a slight frown. “im sorry it wasnt on purpose i saw an edit and got spoiled in the comments then i had to watch it” you say grabbing him to lay him back down. he grumbles as you do “dont tell me what he does or im putting my cold feet on you” he says ignoring your gasp. “YOU KEEP THEM DOGS AWAY FROM ME” you say loudly feeling a smile creep on his face and he turns slightly towards you, grabbing your hand and plopping it on the top of his head. no words needed knowing what he wants you start to scratch his head. and finally you both fall silent watching the show, a few minutes passing as you reach the end you feel a hand go to your nose “RIN.”

taglist !

@captaincyberqueen

#haikyu x reader #haikyu #haikyuu #suna imagines #suna rintaro headcanons #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #hq suna #suna x y/n #suna rintarō #suna x you #haikyuu suna #suna fluff

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zuffer-weird-girl · 3 years

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I am soft for kid Kai and Pops interactions. Could you please try writing pops and reader taking care of a sick Kai as a kid. I wonder if he would be the same difficult patient as you have written him as an adult. I enjoy your writing and would love seeing your take on it.

"I hate this. It feels like death." Just at the end of the sentence, the boy had a coughing fit as the elder sighed out loud at his stubbornness, wringing the towel wet with icy water before placing it on the sick boy's forehead.

"Stop being overdramatic Chisaki. Is just a flu. Nothing to mourn over." The boy growled back at the elder before he pulled the covers up with the best force he could manage it.

... until he sneezed and overhauled the blanket to mere pieces.

"Well, at least is only the third one until now..." the old man chuckled before frowning at how abruptly Chisaki was trembling... poor thing.

"I wanna die..." the boy mumbled as he again come up with a new blanket as Popps chuckled.

"What happened to the prideful future leader of the yakusa?" He chuckled at the glare Kai gave to him "Will you at least collaborate on getting better?"

"Just make this go away for once."

Pops only shook his head and grabbed the bottle the doctor recommended to give to Kai and one spoon before poking shaking his shoulder.

"Cmon. Sit up boy, let's end this." Just when his golden fuccy eyes locked with the bottle he inky narrowed his gaze at the elder and turned his head away from him.

"You're kidding me arent you kid?" Pops arched one eyebrow. Kai only mumbled something incoherent as Pops's one vein appeared.

"Take. This. Medicine. Chisaki Kai."

"Try me."

Pops chuckled at the audacity of this kid before calling one of his subbordinates.

"Bring Chisaki's little friend that I guess it will ease down him just a bit while I stay."

"Yes sir." And with that the man walked out of the room and closing the door. Pops only gave the boy a look as Chisaki only glared back.

"You will take this boy."

"Heck no."

"Thank you so much Yukuchi-san!" You bowed to the man as he left you to enter the room... widening your eyes at the scene as Pops had one of his hands on Chisaki's chin to force open as Kai gritted anos teeth together and holded the man's hand with the spoon far away from him, miraculously not spilling the green liquid on it.

"Uh... What's happening?" You asked as both looked at you, Pops with a relieved look and Chisaki with wide eyes.

Just when he opened his mouth to say your name, Pops chugged the spoon on his mouth.

You flinched at the shout Chisaki gave the elder as soon as he manage to swallow but soon he put his hand on his mouth as if he wanted to puke.

"Dont you dare puke this after all the work I had to do.."

"tHAT'S BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DISGUSTING!" the kid almost puked again at the end and he sighed before looking at you with grateful and welcoming grey eyes

"Hello (Y/n)-chan. I apologize that you couldn't see Chisaki those days but as you can see-"

Chisaki brutal series of sneezes broke the elder's talking and as soon as he finished Kai had the most tired out look and plopped back down, lying on his bed miserably.

"He is incredible sick and wont follow his dad's orders no manner how much I try to. You know how prideful he cam be." You giggled at the funny look that Pops before Kai groaned.

"I'm sick yet not dead old geezer."

"See." Pops showed his hand at the sick kid "He becomes so grumpy that even I cant handle it sometimes... " he sighed before crouchind down to whisper to you "Care to give him some company as I go make sure my subbordinates did already the dinner? You can be his nurse and besides, my boy holds a soft spot only for you."

"Really?!" You whispered in exciment as Pops nodded and chuckled, patting your head while getting up as Chisaki chuffed... coughing later.

"I will be back soon. Obey to (Y/n) Chisaki."

"You're kidding?" He muttered before sighing when the elder closed the door. Closing his eyes a bit and when opening them again when he heard you walking towards his bed and sitting next to his body.

"How you're feeling?" You asked and Chisaki glassy and gold eyes locked with yours as if you were the most stupid creature in the world.

"What do you-" he coughed on his hand "Think?"

"Not good." You giggled "Sorry."

He stayed quiet before looking away from you. Praying mentally that the blush on his pale cheeks on his fever.

He stiffed when you took off the towel off from his forehead, he jolted away from your touch as you widened your eyes at his distressed state.

"Sorry Kai..." you mumbled as he went to scold you to touch him before another coughing fit hitted.

You hesitantly rubbed his back while he coughed as he looked at you with teary eyes later.

"What are you-" he coughed "-doing? You're going to get sick you idiot." You smiled at him and simply and gently brushed his bangs out of his wet forehead.

"Well, I can deal with it later. After all my mom said I have a good immune system! Different from yours!"

"Take that back before I-" he sneezed so violently that some snot come out of his nose. His face went white in horror at the snot it dropped on his hand... hives immediately started to appear on his face and arms. He started to pant before feeling your hand on his shoulder and offering him a napkin.

"Its okay..." you cooed and he hesitantly grabbed the napkin and started to rub on his hand and under his nose.

"My head..." he groaned after cleaning the snot out, clenching on both sides of his head, tears started to form before he felt warm... arms around him as his head was met with the crook of your neck.

"My parents usually hug me when I feel distress... sorry if it bothers you, but it helps sometimes being held." You mumbled.

His heart skipped one beat on his chest... how warm and invinting you were. Heavens forbid that you found out how many times his mind was invaded by thoughts of you. Your laugh, your smile... hell, your touch. He despised touch, but yours... just seemed so... heavenly. A blessing.

And... oh god he was falling. He fell on your lap. And your giggles didn't helped his embarrassment either but he was so weak and tired that he simply allowed your fingers on his scalp to ease him to a slumber.

"Dont think this will be a constant thing..." he mumbled as his eyes though to stay awake.

"You're such a baby when you're sick Kai." You giggled as he grumbled and prefered to bury his face on your tummy.

He awoke to the sound of the door clicking open and he quickly shot up from your lap as the elder brought some food.

"I see you got some rest finally boy." He put the tray on the bed as he sniffled. The effect of the medicine finally kicking despite him taking a nap.

"I know you dont hold a liking on soups but is the best way to sooth a sore throat." He ruffle Chisaki's hair as he only could grumble a thanks.

"Thanks for coming today (Y/n)-chan. I think your parents must be worried now, I will call a subbordinate of mine to carry you home and-"

"NO!" He shouted, only feeling mortified at the shock look Pops and you gave to him.

Well, screw his youthful pride.

"Chisaki, (Y/n) has to-"

"N-not yet. Is... early... and I can't.." he tried to form words before you laughed, causing his cheeks to turn vermillion red.

"Can I call my parents to stay a bit longer Pops?" You smiled up at the elder as he looked at the embarrassed boy and chuckled.

"Well, I dont why not."

The boy felt a tingle of relief and happines growing on his chest as you crawled back on bed on his side.

"You want feeding too?" You giggled as he immediatly snatched the spoon and glared at you.

"Dont push your luck." He went to take the soup and flinched at how hot it was, which left Pops with a unused look.

"Next time blow it kid."

He felt he could even do a backflip on the other day.

When he got out of his room, Chisaki got called by Pops when he was almost on his way out to school.

"Hey brat. Looking better I see. You needed a special medicine so eh?" The man chuckled at how red Chisaki got before tsking and rolling his eyes, his grip tightening on his backpack

"Hate to tell ya kid, but just preventing you throw a fit in your school, (Y/n)-chan wont be attending today."

".. care to explain?" The boy tried to contain his shock and worry as Pops sighed and turned off the phone.

"Got the flu."

This fucking idiot-

You coughed before sneezing on a napkin and throing on the trash along with many others.

Suddenly your door burst open as you gasped at Chisaki abruptly throwing some bags of medices and other things you didn't know yet.

"K-Kai what the-"

"I told you were getting sick." He spoke under his mask while putting on gloves and grabbing one chair and sitting near your bed. Arms crossed and a look that send you shivers "Good imune system huh?"

"Hey at least you look better!" You exclaimed before sneezing on the napkin you grabbed quickly.

You saw through blurry vision the way he furrowed his eyebrows and picking a bag and putting on your lap, evicting eye contact as always.

You giggled and opened only to gasp at seing your favorite dessert there.

"Kai... you didn't had to." You spoke as Kai only shrugged and sitted back on the chair.

"Better be grateful for it you brat."

"We have the same age or close to Kai..." you deadpanned as he only glared back at you more.

"Eat."

You only lifted up your hands in surrender until his phone started to buzz on his pocket... picking up and answering the call he had to get his phone away from his ear from the yelling.

"CHISAKI KAI DID YOU DITCH CLASSES-?!"

#chisaki kai x reader #bnha imagine #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha villains x reader #overhaul x reader #kid kai #zuffer writings #pops can be scary dont doubt it

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chat-noir-always-here · 4 years

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I rewatch Miraculous—Mr. Pigeon

Behold!!! The episode that almost made me stop watching Miraculous.

No for real i think i got up and left the room first time around, this episode was so ridiculous.

• “You only have one day to work on your fashion piece.” Only a day? That seems kinda unrealistic when you take into account designing, gathering materials, whether or not you need to go out and buy any materials, the amount of time it takes to actually put all that together...

•WHOA Gabriel’s actually smiling in that pic Mrs. Bustier shows. Er, smiling-ish

•Pure cinnamon roll child seems proud this peppermint frappucino dickhead is his father (Gabriel ur hair looks like whipped topping and that tie doesnt help). BE GRATEFUL FOR SUCH A CARIBG CHILD YOU PRICK!!!

•Maaaaaariii chill the fuck out your overactive imagination and severe anxiety are getting the better of you.

•AHEM Gabriel has a purple bowtie in Mari’s imagination instead of that ridiculous peppermint scarf he uses to hide Nooroo’s broach???

•Adrien: appears out of nowhere

Marintette: jerks and flops away like a fish on dry land

Me: lol bye Marinette

• Adriens beuatiful face when Mari is talking to him (before she blunders and stumbles with her words) is beautiful

•Mari’s beautiful face when Adrien is telling her “you’re so talented Marinette!” and the subtle tremor in her eyes as they widen with her smile...☺️😊😘i love my beautiful, anxious mess of a daughter

•Mari: Follows Adrien with her eyes like an owl. LMAO.

•Chloe does not deserve Sabrina 😒

•Whereas Gabriel resembles a peppermint frap, Hawk Moth/Papillion appears to be the result of what might happen if Batman and the riddler had a baby

•Ramier, bruh, there is like. Zero. Fucking. Reason to be that upset over not being allowed to feed pigeons. For real. Go feed them on some rooftop somewhere if you must. No reason to let Hawk Daddy akumatize you over it...

...

...You know what? We’re not calling Gabriel “daddy.”

EVER. Again.

•Also Hawk-shitface, pigeon dude is your worst idea and you keep coming back to him. Seriously at least put some effort into your champions’ outfits. Youre a fashion designer for petes sake!

• wow this show really loves its skin-tight body suits, huh? Even when they look ridiculous.

•Sabrina how the hell much did you have to pay for a cellphone that lets you zoom in on a fucking sketch from dozens of feet away and score yourself a crystal-clear image???

•Sabrina: “We’re soooo awesome!”

Chloe: “We?”

Chloe does NOT deserve Sabrina.

•Arent real bird feathers full of germs and bacteria that cause diseases? And Marinette “im immune to bird flu” Dupain-Cheng just plucked that shit up off the ground and put it on her hat of all things. I dont know whether to be fisgusted or impressed.

•Chat “paint me like one of your French girls” Noir for the win everybody

• “Im allergic to feathers.” I came across a theory on tumblr once (cant find the OP) that this coulda been caused by Emilie wearing the damaged Peacock broach when she was pregnant with him. If thats true i would be pleased😏

•Allow me to channel Chloe for this comment: LB, CN, that disguise is about as convincing as Mr. Pigeon and Bubbler’s get ups are appealing. In other words, NO.

•Chat Noir moonwalking with a hat on—booiii got some moves. 👌👌👌👌

• “You’re the cat dont you eat [pigeons] for breakfast?!” No LB, Kitty Boi is a domestic kitty otherwise he’d present to you little dead things like my cat used to do before we stopped letting him go out. This is an awful joke but SPARE THE BIRDS, theyre just like Ramier—being controlled by a monster.

• “On the count of three my beloved pigeons will commence fire.” As disgusting as pigeon poop is i think they’ll live. Cant you come up with a better evil plan? Threatening to break the glass floor at their feet by having the pigeons stomp on the cage would be more effective. I’m not trying to help the villain, kaay? I just prefer my villains to use their head. Honestly Team Rocket is more intimidating than Pigeon Dude.

•is it just me or is kitty boi especially adorable in this episode??? 😻😻😻

• flock of pigeons put a dent ten times the size of kitty boi’s head in the door

Okay thats actually kinda terrifying. What woulda happened if that attack hit a normal person wearing no magical armor??? They’d be pecked to bits...

• CN: “I gotta get outta here before my secret identity is revealed!”

LB: “Yeah you wouldnt wanna let the cat out of the bag!”

CN: “...Haha very funny.” 😾

Dont dish out what you cant take, handsome boy.

•LB’s look of amusement as CN starts running in place for fear of detransforming in front of others is hillarious

•kitty boi if this hotel takes tips you should really give Jean-whatshisname one. That was the speediest, life-saving room service ever.

•isnt this just Chloe’s room??? Theres a ladybug pillow on the bed and everything. Why did the mayor send CN to Chloe’s room???

• “i cant wait my dear pigeon.” Hmm reminds of later on when Hawk Moth calls Nats “My dear Mayura.” Bruh if you INTO Ramier just ask for his phone number like a normal person, quit akumatizing him and eat a damn snickers

•LB: Time for a sneak attack! Oh no, my sneak attack failed cuz my partner couldnt help but sneeze with all these FEATHERS around.

HELLO, he just told you he was allergic to feathers???

•ugh them censoring out the punches with flashy screenshots is so LAAAME show me the VIOLENCE.

• “Cat Noir! Grab [the bird call!]” AGAIN he’s ALLERGIC TO FEATHERS. Just tie that yoyo to something to keep Pigeon dude in the air and smash it yourself.

• Gabriel is that teacher from Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide who was never physically present in class and was only ever seen through a tablet or some nonsense

•Chloe getting busted my Marinette in front of the principal, Gabriel and Adrien is a great example of how PLAGIARISM DOESNT PAY are you listening art thieves lurking on tumblr, instagram and elsewhere???

•ahem Gabriel that sympathetic look you give a weeping Chloe is very out of character

• “youre the winner Marinette.” Not gonna check out Kim and Max’s hat? You could at least look at it, doesnt seem very impartial to pick Mari without looking at ALL the hats

•siiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhh

Girl they are BOTH allergic to feathers. How many blonde teenage boys walk around with a feather allergy? Quantum Masking or no Quantum Masking, c’mon you should be at least considering the idea theyre the same person from that knowledge alone.

Annnd thats all for now. This episode is more of a vent-inducing hate sink than enjoyable, save for the gushing waterfall of cute kitty boi moments it provides. I may do Stormy Weather later today to make up for it.

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #adriennette #marinette dupain cheng #mr pigeon

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sneezeshame · 4 years

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a character who usually has a really good immune system. hasn’t gotten really sick in several years now, only mild stuff that passes in a few days. they see the bad head cold going around and assume that if they get it, they’ll just have the sniffles for a while and it wont be very fun but theyll still be functional. when they start getting a little scratchy throat they brush it off, and then their nose gets a bit stuffed theyre mostly annoyed that theyre gonna be sniffling for a couple days. and then their throat gets worse. and they start feeling tired, and they have a bit of a headache. must just be a bad day on top of feeling a little under the weather. they go to bed early.

they wake up in the middle of the night because they cant breathe through their nose. their sinuses ache, their head aches even more, and their throat is killing them. they get out of bed and have to dig around to find a box of tissues, and give their nose a good blow when they find them, and almost leave the tissues on the table-- but then, not only does their nose fill up again, but it starts to run. they think they got the sniffles faster than they thought they would, and their throat is more sore than it usually gets with a cold, but whatever. they blow their nose again. and again. and then their nose suddenly gives a harsh tickle, and they explode all over themselves.

that’s odd; they usually never sneeze when they get a cold. must be some dust, they think, taking a couple more tissues to clean themselves up. but then they sneeze again. and again. and blow their nose. and sniffle. and they still feel clogged up. their head hurts and theyre exhausted, so they take the full box with them back to bed and try to sleep, but their nose keeps filling up and dripping, and it’s incredibly tickly and sensitive; the way they hitch they wish their nose was more prone to sneezing than it is, but they keep having false alarm after false alarm. an hour passes and theyre still awake and starting to really sound terrible; the sneezes are wetter, the sniffles are thicker, and all this in their sinuses aren’t doing any favors for their throat.

another hour passes and theyre still awake, and it occurs to them that theyre really not feeling so good. they almost fall asleep, but their nose wakes them up dripping and hitching and dreadfully congested.

by 5am theyve barely gotten any solid sleep. it turns out that people weren’t kidding when they said this bug was knocking people out; their sinuses have turned it from a miserable stuffy trickle to a full blast stream. they help their nose along when they start to hitch by gently tickling a few especially sensitive nose hairs right on the inside of one of their nostrils; they sneeze in long, miserable doubles that blast up their throat into their sinuses, so forceful that they end with a groan. they havent been this sick in years, let alone have a cold this bad in years, and dont have any medicine in the house. their bed is littered with crumpled tissues, and their nose is starting to feel really sore, not to mention they arent sure if they have any more boxes.

when the sun rises theyre starting to feel shivery and sore on top of everything else, and it occurs to them that if theyre going to rest, theyre going to need some serious cold medicine, plus tissues. they bundle up, take half of the remaining tissues with them, and step outside to walk to the drugstore, knowing that their nose is almost certainly bright red, and their eyes are probably ringed purple and puffy from lack of sleep.

“whads the sdrogesd code bedicide you have?” they ask the pharmacist. “ib bed ubb all dighd, i...snxxxxxxt, thig i caugd the bad onde thads beed going aroudd.”

#big shame......#snz

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nako-doodles · 4 years

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get to know me tag 🌸

i was tagged by my loves @honsool and @mainvocaljin 💖💖💖 thank you mwah mwah mwah~

what do you prefer to be called name wise? no. 1 jin pun enthujinist shirley

when is your birthday? oct 26

where do you live? im stuck in east asia rn but i usually live in the states

three things you are doing right now? working on that top 2020 korean song tag i got tagged in literally 3 months ago......, picking my way thru lin manuel miranda’s gmorning, gnight (bc i really need that pep talk) and anna pulley’s the lesbian sex haiku book (with cats!) (so we can both can pretend my mom’s distaste is bc most of the poems arent haikus and it grates against her japanese sensitivities), waiting for the green bean congee to finish and tofu pudding to set so i can have dinner

four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? thats a excellent question since my motivation is at an all-time low, but ive been listening to a lot of lee hi, alexa, bibi, and oooo to pass the time. i picked up pixel art bc of the quarantine in the beginning of the year, and ive been trying to learn how to make clothes bc fast fashion pisses me off and i already know how to knit and crochet.

how is the pandemic treating you? ive been ready for 2021 since yesteryear

a song you can’t stop listening to right now? lee hi’s holo, specifically this version, and day6′s zombie depending on my day

recommend a movie? studio ghibli’s princess kaguya bc its the movie i put on when i dont feel like time is real anymore

how old are you? 23

school, university, occupation, other? work, temporary leave from uni

do you prefer hot or cold? the cold bc ive been suffering from muggy humid hot weather for too long and i lost the cooler winter months to miss rona. plus i really like being able to bundle up and drink hot drinks and cuddle.

name one fact others may not know about you: im really curious. i read up on random trivia facts when im bored. im always alternating between 3-4 books at a time bc i cant pay attention to one single thing. if I see something idiosyncratic or it goes against my understanding of the world, i immediately want to know more.

are you shy? im very introverted and have little tolerance for noise and confrontation, so many people think im shy

do you have any preferred pronouns? she/her

any pet peeves? my god, people who wear their masks incorrectly and/or take off their masks to talk, sneeze, cough etc. it used to be selfish people who are wilfully ignorant or are purposefully antagonistic and like making things difficult for others. i guess they are one and the same.

what’s your favorite “dere” type? genuinely thought i would be a himedere bc my japanese name has the character for princess, and my chinese name literally translates to “a thousand luxuries” but according to this quiz, im a deredere. the more you know.

rate your life 1-10; 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be: a solid 3.5 bc fuck 2020

what’s your main blog? @daejinta

list your side blogs and what they are used for: none bc im l a z y

is there anything you think people need to know about you before being friends with you? im really bad at this “making friends” business but know i think of all my moots really fondly even if im super blunt 🥺🥺🥺

i tag my loves: @stargazingjin @suggable @houseofarmanto @jinv @cultleaderyoongi @jincentvangogh @suhdays @dykejhope

#im editing this while munching on some spring onion crackers #and I realized how rambly I am #anyways you don't have to do this if you dont I prmose #hash tag games

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

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BNHA AU Ideas : Urban Fantasy AU

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Mythical creatures are real and they flock to Izuku like cats to a sunbeam. He and Bakugo have been the Heroes of various magical creatures for years, now its time for them to return the favour.

Aka the “Aizawa I swear I’m not part of the Yakuza these aren’t gang tattoos-“ AU

basically: mythical creatures are real

izuku is quirkless but he does have magic, which if he uses it carefully it can come across like a quirk

the problem is, its super variable + weaker than most quirks

bakugo is in the know, he and izuku are actually friends bc. izuku used to take him out to go talk to faries and fire spirits

basically, izuku was still pretty powerful, even without a quirk, because of the mythical creatures

he and izuku always planned to register his magic as a quirk if they could think of something, but everything was too limiting so he cant really be seen using it

shinso is part siren (like, 12% siren) and doesnt know it but izuku does and its driving him c r a z y

mic is like 50% siren and definitely knows and thats bugging izuku as well

all for one has like, 800 different curses on him and izuku is shocked the guy is still alive

ofa isnt just a quirk, its part magic which is almost unheard of, and izuku sees and is sh o o k

izuku ends up with ofa because the first ep just basically happens, sans bakugo being a dick

he gets the hang of ofa pretty quickly because hes been using magic his whole life

still cleans the beach because a selkie begged him to

stain is actually a vampire, got turned a little while ago but izuku isnt sure if stain is like, aware of it??? which is a little concerning

izuku is like, 100% human so no one is really sure why he can use magic, but everyone just rolls with it

inko was shocked when she found her infant son surrounded by faries but she put on her game face and read every book about magic ever

hounddog is just a straightup werewolf

nezu seems to be a magic user but izuku isnt sure, but nezu is super confusing anyway

izuku thinks aizawa was blessed by a medusa that thought his quirk was cool because, looking back to aizawa’s sports festivals, his hair didnt always float

izuku asks nezu what he is but nezu changes the answer every time

one of the reasons izuku wanted to be a hero is because of the number of magical creatures that found their way into the profession

he and bakugo go on little quests for magical creatures after school a bunch because A, if they owe you a favour its always really helpful and B, they can give you cool enchanted stuff

bakugo has a charm that stops him from being burnt that he is always wearing. its his favorite, shaped like a tiny dragon and carved from seaglass

izuku has like, 8 luck charms and shoes that make him silent when he walks, among other random crap. he has so many random magic trinkets on his at 1 time he could probably take down a whole gang.

basically izuku is the fae's errand boy and bakugo helps when he has free time because he likes the cool shit he gets

izuku has this lil lizard friend

he calls him a salamander because the little guy wont actually tell izuku what he is

and he saved him when he was little but he cant really remember how, and the “salamander” has been following him ever since

izuku sneaks him in campus cause its his lil lizard buddy! has a pocket in his hero costume and everything

izuku knew the guy was magic but doesnt find out how until the usj, which is, not coincidentally when he has to come clean about magic to aizawa

because

the lil lizard?

was a bigass kirin the whole time

and it literally rips the nomu in 2

and aizawa is like "so,, izuku,," and izuku is like "ooooohhhhh booyy"

but they dont get to talk about it much because the nomu knits itself together is a really creepy way

basically izuku uses every luckcharm, magic trick and maxs out one for all as far as he can push it

with aizawa and the kirin, they manage to take down the nomu before allmight gets there, but none them are in good shape and izuku is like, 2 secs away from being killed by shigiraki when allmight shows up, but w/o the nomu the league bales without trying to take down all might. shigiraki is p i s s e d

during the fight izuku straining the luck charms so badly that whenever he dodges a particularly bad hit, he can feel them shatter

aizawa and izuku have matching hand print scars because shigiraki had a hand on both of them when allmight lept through the door

they have a hard time getting izuku into the abulance bc the kirirn, bleeding and weak, is trying to bite anyone that gets close to his little human

bakugo holds it back while it cries. he’s crying too.

the kirin is called spark bc it sneezed and almost set bakugo's hair on fire

nezu gives izuku the excuse the spark is just a "lizard with a quirk, right?" and just winks and izuku is cONviNced nezu can use magic but he has no proof and its eating him up inside

because izuku is self-sacrificial like that, hes gets bakugo to find some of the healing potions he has collected and uses them on aizawa and spark, not on himself

he only uses one on himself bc spark lays on his legs and bakugo pries his mouth open

aizawa waking up the next morning in hospital like "wow why do i feel perfectly fine" and recovery girl walks in like "aa,,, holy crap???? why are you ok???"

izuku, 3 rooms away with a listening sigil drawn on the wall, has the most shit eating grin

he has to rub it off really quickly when recovery girl walks in. shes a little confused about the pen smear on the wall but izuku just kind of brings weirdness with him so she lets it slide.

so in this au aizawa doesnt have a weaker quirk after the usj

he has a scar but its hand shaped, not the lil crescent one

its on the same side of his face and just missed his eye. izuku’s in on his neck. they are both really lucky it didn’t hit anything important

when allmight burst in, izuku final luck charm shattered into dust.

also izuku has tracking charms on every one of his friends because one time he and bakugo got separated at the mall and izuku cried for 45 minutes straight

comes in real handy when iida goes to fight stain

izuku shows up even earlier in the fight, throws garlic power he bought at 7/11 in stains eyes

stain: h-

izuku, running in tears: sTAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND

picks up native and iida and runs while yelling at iida about how he cares about him while also trying to find a hero because he really didnt think this through

izuku has loads of sigils tattooed and drawn on his skin and aizawa is shook bc this boy is so soft he is not part of the yakuza

hes co v e r ed in them, anywhere that isnt his forearms/neck/face. some of them are obviously hand done. he did a few when he was pretty little so they arent great

one of them is the kirin across his back and bakugo has to point it out to him because he didnt know it was there and its very glittery and magic looking, not done in normal ink and it must be pretty old too because he has loads of scars over it

and aizawa just wants to yell because how the fuck did no one notice this child covered in tattoos

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askthetriokzt · 4 years

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Kodo’s Quirk

So there are 2 main things to Kodo’s quirk. The vines at her neck and the flower on her head, both of which have feeling though one is far more sensitive than the other. Her quirk could be classified as either Mutant and Emitter, though I would learn more towards Emitter personally.

The Vines.

The nubs on either side of Kodo’s neck are actually a pair of vines that have a max reach of 15 ft (50 meters) each and can be moved independently of each other. While they lack in raw power, they can still be used in a number of ways such as: striking, vaulting, grabbing, entangling, and climbing. As stated, the vines aren’t that strong, only about the same amount of strength that Kodo has herself, though by wrapping around something multiple times or using gravity or momentum, the vines could increase their strength. Kodo has an extreme level of control and mastery over her vines, to the point where they’re like an extra set of arms for her. Little to no thought is needed, just completely natural at this point. The vines, while smooth and soft to the touch, are actually quick tough and thick, able to take quite a bit more abuse before getting damaged, far tougher than her own skin, though still having a limit. Kodo is far from a tank or a wall. There are drawbacks though. She can fully feel with them, and that includes pain. If a vine gets too damaged, Kodo will just immediately have it retreat back into her neck for both safety and to heal (both her flower and vines have regenerative properties but are rather slow and finicky.) but could leave her vulnerable.

The Pollen.

The flower on the side of her head naturally produces pollen of varies colors, though only 3 actually do anything but her opponents don’t need to know that. Kodo is immune to her own pollen but will always prefer to wear a pair of goggles for her Hero Costume since the stuff still stings if it ever gets into her eyes, which is way more often than she’ll ever admit. While the flower can produce many different colors and kinds of pollen, it can only spew out 1 at a time, needing a moment before it can switch over to a different one. By now, Kodo has a pretty good handle of her pollen, in the past it was a struggle to make it spew out the pollen consistently. Though she loses control from time to time still, such as when she’s startled (fear-induced-pollen) or a sudden sneeze. Keep your distance if Kodo is ever sick.

Green: Sleep Inducing. Needs to be inhaled or enter the bloodstream to work. Yellow: Causes muscles to tense up and (if a large enough dose) can even cause full embolization for a short period of time. Also needs to be inhaled or enter the bloodstream to work. Red: HIGHLY Explosive. When coming in contact with a spark or a high enough heat, the pollen will just combust and explode (smaller and weaker scale of Bakugo’s quirk) Other: Sometimes, just to throw someone off, Kodo will have her flower spew out a random color of pollen and she just watches them eye the pollen with fear and hesitation.

Drawbacks: At the end of the day, its all just pollen. While Kodo can put it to good use, and often stores a good amount of them in little pouches, its still just pollen. Gas Masks and Wind users just make it all useless. And while Kodo is immune, her allies arent. That and she isn’t immune to the fiery explosions that the red pollen causes, so its always a risky move to make.

The Flower

The final and most recent addition to Kodo’s quirk. Naturally, her flower absorbs sunlight and after a while of feeling like she was lagging behind her friends, Kodo decided to try to see if she could, somehow, use that. And long story short, she did, though it took a LONG time and plenty of trial and error and a LOT of messing up and frustration. By taking the sunlight that her flower absorbs, Kodo can condense it and channel it until its a ball of light and energy, and can use it as a long-range projectile. While the attack isn’t very strong, its still pretty useful, especially when most dont even expect to see it coming. At first, the process of making one took far too long for it to ever be considered battle-ready, but Kodo has been slowly chipping away at the time needed for it, and now its at a far more manageable speed. That and she can stockpile a decent amount of them. A few good hours of direct sun for her flower can create at least a dozen of her light attacks with only a few short moments of charge up. Though once the stockpile is run out, then she has to either deal without the attack altogether, or take the time to create the attack, which can range from 34 seconds in harsh sunlight, to even a few minutes or nothing at all in bad or low sunlight.

As for the drawbacks, its still an attack in the making. Granted is far more consistent and reliable now than it was during the early stages, but it still has its moments of either fizzling out or being difficult to aim properly, resulting in either failed charge up or missed shots. That and she needs sunlight in order to make it. So if she runs out during the night, thats kind of it. And she cant use her pollen while charing up or forming the attack.

Overall, while Kodo’s quirk lacks in raw power it makes up for it in spades with its versatility. Though it does give Kodo a major weakness, the cold. She’s far more sensitive to the cold than the average person, and if her body gets too cold for too long, it will cause her and her quirk, to feel rather heavy and can even prevent her from using her quirk altogether. And if the cold gets worse and persist, it can cause her body to go into a hibernation-like state. Guess its a really good thing that one of her friends has a fire quirk and is naturally quite warm.

#Kodo Hayashi #bnha oc #mha oc #art

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warmau · 6 years

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hiii! i really love ur sci-fi/apocalyptic aus and would LOVE to see some of that for nct dream!!!

people really wanted more sci-fi so here it is!!! find yuta, johnny, sicheng & haechan (here) find taeyong, taeil, mark, doyoung, ten, & jaehyun (here)

Jeno

extremely clumsy time-traveler

the ability to travel through time and sort of skip back and forth between it is distinctive to jeno’s family

so when he inherited it ,,,, everyone in the family expected he’d just you know ,,,,,, be GOOD at it

turns out - he’s not

as good at everything else as jeno can be,,,,,,the one skill he’s born with - is the one skill he can’t exactly harness

do you know how many time he’s accidentally time warped in the middle of doing his homework?

he ends up in 17th century france and is like bonjour,,,,uh,,,,,,anyone here know how to do algebra

or that one time he jumped into the future and almost got hit by some dude on a hoverboard

life is hard when your one weird hiccup can send you propelling through the space-time continuum

and whats worse is ,,,,,,,, he’s sworn to secrecy

which is not great because “oh jeno, what’d you do this weekend - why didn’t you come play video games at jisungs?” oh well i just was hanging out with dinosaurs or whatever

like you can’t say that

and jeno is bad at lying because he gets all smiley and cant stop it and mark is always like bro are you good

jeno smiling so wide it hurts: fine! i uh,,,,,,,,just had homework to do!

and one time,,,,jeno trips over the top stair in his house and it sends him to the future

except he’s still,,,,,,,in his neighborhood,,,,,but everything is just,,,more technological

like the stop signs are holograms and the cars are just tinier versions of themselves all hovering above the ground

and then

and then there’s you

with your hoverboard under your arm - your hair a wacky bright color - and your talking to a tiny little person whose inside the watch on your hand

and jeno is like ,,,,,,, just gaping in the middle of the street

and unfortunately you walk right into each other

and you’re like HEY didnt the motion detector we all have in our brains tell you to move LEFT

and jeno is like the what in my brain

and you look him up and down and you’re like wait

where’s your receptor button? why arent you wearing the geo-transmitter? where’s your hoverboard or inline skates?

and jeno is like i ,,,,,, i uh,,,,,,left them at home

and you’re like what you can’t leave them at home - tap your watch and they’ll appear in your hands like any normal persons stuff does

jeno just shrugs and is like oops left that watch at home too

and you’re like how it’s like,,,,,locked onto your hand when you’re five

jeno in his head: the future is freaky

jeno out loud: it,,,,,broke?

you stare at him for a while,,,,,,,,,,for one he’s got dark hair. no one has had that color of hair in a while

he’s wearing an outfit that scream 2018 which was like fifty years ago

and

“ARE YOU FROM THE PAST?!?!?!”

jeno jumps, pulling you closer and shaking his head frantically as onlookers turn for a second but then focus back on their watches

“no what are you talking about how could i be from the past i -”

“siri 107 - locate this dudes profile.”

“siri 107?”

suddenly there’s a loud beep and from your watch a ray of blue light scans over jeno’s body

after a tinkering second there is a beep again

“unidentified. no profile. perhaps he’s a senior citizen?”

jeno’s eyebrows furrow “i am NOT a senior citizen”

you grin, “then you have to be from the past. everyone under the age of thirty has a profile. when your born doctors upload your info into the database.”

you come closer and closer till your centimeters away from jeno’s face

he tries to pull back but something stops him

past the wild hair and clothing he doesnt understand,,,,he has to admit your face is damn near perfect

maybe - he thinks - it’s that the future has perfected genetics or something

but then again everyone around you two still looks different,,,,,,you just,,,,,,you look so angelic

and his frozen stare makes you tilt your head to the side

“why are you staring at me?”

jeno gapes, blushing down to his collar and looking away

“n-nothing i just,,,,ive never i,,,,,,uh -”

your giggle cuts jeno’s sentence off

your watch does some kind of noise and jeno asks what it means

“it’s reading your mood - it says you think im cute.”

jeno opens his mouth to protest, but again he’s a bad liar so all he gets out is a “wh-what?”

“it’s fine, i think you’re cute too!”

you reach up to touch his hair

“this retro style is actually my type -”

you peer down into his eyes again

“and if you are from the past that makes you interesting. i like that.”

jeno feels his heart beat a little faster in his chest

and just as your about to let your hand drop, and jeno reaches out to catch it

thinking he might as well just admit it, if you think it’s cool that he’s from the past then maybe you wouldnt mind talking to him more

and its not like he has anything better to do

what, go back to his time and do homework and miss out on a cute date with you - a cute person from the future?

but just as he opens his mouth, your eyes wide with anticipation

everything begins to warp

and jeno groans because

goddamnit, he time traveled back! right at the most important part!

standing at the top of the stairs of his house, jeno touches the spot on his cheek

your warmth is still present as if you’d been there with him only seconds ago

“great, now this stupid family gift is even interfering with my love life.” jeno grumbles

but maybe,,,,just mabye,,,,,the next time he sneezes he’ll find himself back in 2068

on that date

with you

Renjun & Jisung

mecha pilots!

they were both scouted by military personnel while attending school

renjun, who’d been an avid member of engineering club and robotics, had been chosen for his ability to work and operate machinery way beyond his experience

jisung, who was part of track and archery, was chosen for his agility and aim

renjun’s mecha is large and looks more like a lifesize gundam figure, painted a rich forest green and nicknamed ‘giant’

he has tweaked it to be able to turn both of its arms into high powered canons and even installed a system in the cockpit that would let him infiltrate other mechas and haywire their internal systems

he takes ALOT of pride in keeping his mecha perfect and any bumps or dents or broken parts he fixes

even before going to get himself checked out by the doctors

his body suit is green to match his mecha and he wears a pair of goggles that have built in alerts from the mecha database

jisung calls renjun ‘the nerd pilot’ because renjun really only ever reads instruction manuals on tech and doesnt enjoy doing tricks during practice or during fights

jisung on the other hand,,,,,,,,,,

his mecha is smaller than renjuns - but it transforms into a jet whenever high speed chasing is involved

it’s a bright, flashy silver and has stickers and spray paint all over it

jisung calls it ‘lightening’ while renjun calls it ‘scrap metal’

since jisung is slightly more of a ,,,,,,,wild card in battle

his mecha is built to chase and surprise enemies, it doesnt have as many setups as renjuns but it is faster and more agile

so whenever he can jisung does tricks like spinning it upside down or flying circles around renjun to piss him off

his suit is the same silver, but with stripes of gold down his arms and legs and he wears a motorcycle style helmet with the same silver gleam

he usually comes out of a battle with some kind of busted lip or broken arm

and his mecha in pieces

but he still manages to jump around and party and dance and high five the squad leader like they’re old buddies

he’s the energy of the team - but he also kind of annoys everyone (in the best way possible, even though renjun disagrees)

you’re a part of renjun and jisung’s unit, you became a mecha pilot to follow in the footsteps of your parents who are now both retired from the field

you somehow get along with both of them, keeping up with jisung’s unhinged energy while also being interested in renjun’s intelligence

the three of you are an unlikely trio and no one outside of the squad gets it

but in battle - you guys are perfect

renjun always has the best plan and firepower, jisung can hunt an enemy down to the ends of the earth and you - have the knowledge of a true mecha pilot

no situation goes without jisung and renjun getting your approval in their own different ways

there’s been a string of attacks by an intergalactic bandit in your city, he keeps sending meteors full of poison down onto the city

the mecha unit has been put in charge of stopping the meteors from hitting the city below

and so you, jisung and renjun are out on patrol of the skies when you spot one

you send out a location signal to the other two guys and soon enough all three of you are on the meteor, getting ready to catch it

but at the last moment the meteor glitches, and suddenly you realize that the bandit disguised his ship as a meteor and is planning to land in the city

right away jisung starts firing, swirling around in the air trying to hit the ship

renjun is yelling over the coms that he needs to stop - he could hit the ship and send it crashing down onto the building below

but before jisung can decide to listen to renjun, that’s just what happens

and in the moment - you’re the one rushing down after the ship in your mecha

using the arms of your machine to catch the ship and land it safely into the middle of a grassy park nearby sending all of the civilians scattering in shock

the only problem is, the bandit hops out of the ship - pointing a alien looking weapon at you and through the shield of your mecha

he shoots

if you wake up and see renjun - you sit up fast

only to realize your head is throbbing and you fall back against the bed

renjun is pacing back and forth in your ER room, muttering to himself

and you try to let out a small sigh

rushing to your side you only smile at renjun, but he shakes his head

“your stitches” he motions to the side of your face and you blink

“di-did the bandit get me?”

“he got a shot at your face, but thankfully it wasnt a gun - so it was a bullet but some kind of outerspace weapon. it cut into your skin, but im running tests on it right now and ill figure out what is it and i will get him. i will make him pay for this.”

renjun’s usually calm, studios attitude turns serious

the soft browns of his eyes turn almost pitch black with anger when he thinks about it

and you have to put your hand over his to make him return to normal

“but im ok, right?”

“you could have died ,,,,, you could have caught his ship and he could have broken into your mecha and killed yo-”

“but im alive!”

you try to make it sound happy, but there’s pain in your voice

renjun quiets down, watching you

“is my mecha ok?”

“don’t worry, you know i can fix that.”

you let out small laugh, “yes, mechas are your specialty.”

renjun watches you - he’s never really known what to do when he feels like this

every battle - he worries about everyone, but you ,,,,,, with you it’s another level of anxiety

before he can think to stop himself he leans down to kiss your forehead gently

“please be careful”

he whispers and your heart stops

but having renjun close like this feels right and you let your eyes fluttr close

“renjun,,,,,,”

“yes?”

he pulls away but you keep your eyes close out of embarrassment at your next statement

“can you kiss me,,,,,,,”

you gently tap your lips

“here?”

renjun feels his skin boil under his suit,,,,,, “w-why”

“you can fix a mecha with tools but fixing a persons heart usually means a kiss,,,,,,or two”

renjun swallows, leaning down again and pressing a chaste - nervous kiss on your lips

maybe, he thinks, that feeling of worry about you isn’t just worry maybe it’s what people talk about when they mean love

if you wake up and see jisung - you wince at the pain in your head

but sit up anyway, throwing the hospital blanket to the side and trying to throw your feet over the side of the gurney

“hey hey hey - where do you think you’re going ????”

jisung jumps from his seat beside your bed and takes a hold of your legs - pushing them back

and urging you to lay down again

you scowl at him

“jisung, that bandit is still out there.”

you can tell from jisung’s multiple bandaids and dirty suit that even after you’d passed out that the unit when on to fight

but jisung huffs

“yeah, he is. but unit 4 is on it. our unit’s priority is you now! making sure you don’t get hurt anymore!”

you narrow your eyes, but let out a sharp gasp

your fingers reach up to trail the stitches over your eyebrow and jisung tells you that the bandit cut you with some kind of alien weapon

“whatever, im not dead and unit 4 will need our backup-”

you try to sit up again but jisung takes a hold of your wrist

“listen, you know that i would love to get you out of this stupid hospital bed and back out into the battle. we could pull up in our mechas like cool ass superheros!”

the spark in jisung’s eyes makes you smile a bit

“but,,,” the spark dulls again

into a serious expression that you haven’t seen on jisung’s face since one of the mecha pilots had fallen in battle last spring

“but you are more important then that. you know me, i love impulsive crazy things. but there’s one thing i love more than that.”

you shift in the bed, suddenly hyper aware of how red jisung’s ears are becoming

the chair where he’d been sitting is his mecha helmet

a half disheveled blanket is thrown over the arm and you wonder how long jisung has been here

in this room

waiting for you

“what is it,,,,,,,the one thing you love more?”

your voice trembles, but you think you might know the answer

jisung crosses his arms, trying to rack his brain with some kind of little lie

but he flings his arms up

“it’s you! YOU! There I said it, are you happy!”

you manage to let out a good laugh this time, despite the pain in your head

“hey don’t laugh at me confessing my -”

“come down here so i can kiss you”

jisung jumps a bit, startled at your words

but with one look to see if the doctor is coming, he obliges and you put your hands up into his hair

kissing him gently and softly and for the first time

energetic, wild jisung is timid and shy

you can’t believe it,,,,,,it’s so cute

(but when you tell jisung that - he insists that there isn’t anything cute about him - a suave, cool mecha pilot)

(but maybe he’ll let you - only you - call him cute. as long as you don’t tell renjun)

renjun who witnessed the kiss from behind the hospital curtain: ill never let him live this down

Jaemin

the “winged” boy

born after a unique mutation in his genes while he was in the womb, jaemin’s white feathers sprout from his back in full glory when he turns only ten

now, as he is much older, he is hailed by scientists and people all over the world as a ‘real life angel’

but more than anything

jaemin’s wings are a bother

they are too large for him to be able to get through doors without a problem - revolving doors are out of the questions

all of his clothing has to be torn for wings to fit through

in the summer - all the feathers make everything ten times hotter

he cant enjoy anything like a normal person. not without everyone gwaking in awe

the weekly tests conducted by doctors and scientists from around the world are not fun, at all

and worst of all

if anything,,,,,,,,,,,,,anything at all,,,,,,,,get stuck in his wings

he can’t pick it out - his arms won’t reach

but,,,,all of these struggles are kept under lock and key by jemin

who is always smiling and being kind

and acting just like the ‘angel’ he is nicknamed

because he doesnt want others to be let down, to know how much of a hassle being different really means

and although he can fly, he much prefers to walk - its the only thing human about him that he can control

but ,,, ,as much as everyone is marveled

and thinks he looks like he’s just come to life from a biblical painting

there are people who deem him

a “freak”

at least that’s what the neighborhood bullies call him when they smear paint and gum in his wings in the back alley of some street

horrified and unable to even spread his wings out because of the stickniess

jaemin tries desperately to claw out any gum or paint for his feathers

but it’s hopeless

he must look so pathetic alone here like this,,,,,,,

“are you ok?”

jaemin closes in on himself at the sound of someones concerned voice

you can see a shadow, but it doesnt quite look like a persons

you come closer and closer

and jaemin tries to curl in on himself

but it’s too late

your gasp lets him know that you’ve seen him

how ugly he looks, his wings all a mess and his body shaking with fear

but instead of calling him another insult, instead of running away

you bend down and begin to pick out the wads of gum

“who would do this? they’re so cruel,,,,”

jaemin’s shoulders relax slightly as he comes to figure out that you have no intention of hurting him

he turns a little, his face which had been hidden behind his wings is revealed

and you smile at him

the expression makes something warm fill up inside jaemin’s chest and he tells you meekly that you don’t have to help

“what do you mean? your wings are big, you couldnt possibly clean them yourself. ill get all of this gunk out - don’t worry!”

jaemin’s heart skips a bit as you reach over beside his cheek - reaching to the feathers behind to pluck some gum from there

jaemin thanks you quietly as you work, humming the tune of a song you like

so careful and sweet it nearly lulls jaemin into a comfortable sleep

“the paint won’t come out,,,,ill need some water,,,”

jaemin’s eyes meet yours, wide and worried

you stand back and think, before snapping your fingers

jaemin feels awkward, standing in the shower of your apartment

but you’re also there

“sorry,,,but youll have to keep some of your clothes on ,,,,” you flush pink and so does jaemin

but it’s the only way you’ll be able to get all of the stuff out of his wings

jaemin nods, but then pulls at his shirt - giving you just enough time to look away

and when you turn back

he’s curled up with his knees to his chin, his exposed back and wings looking cramped in your tiny bath

you turn on the water, cupping it and gently lathering it into the wings where theyve been stained with purples and greens

it is tedious and take a lot of time, but somehow you manage to get jaemin’s wings looking pristine again

and you offer him some sweats as he gets out of the tub, his jeans faded dark from the water

it’s awkward, but after having you do something like that for him - jaemin just doesnt know how to thank you

you dont even know him all that well, but you sacrificed all this time and effort

“don’t thank me, it’s only natural to help someone in need.”

you say - as if reading jaemin’s confused mind

you set down some tea in front of him but jaemin suddenly does something that nearly makes you knock it over

he pulls a feather out of his wings - with a tiny wince

but then he hands it to you

you stare at it, flabbergasted

until you get up, find some string and knot the feather throughit

placing it over your head you grin as you show the makeshift necklace to jaemin

who turns a scarlet color and closes his wings around him in a large, swooping motion

you giggle and ask him to open them up

and when he does, peeking through them you lean in to kiss his cheek

and jaemin nearly faints - his first kiss - of any kind

and it feels so warm and nice that he can’t help but open his wings open a little more and in a whisper ask,

“again?”

Chenle

talks to ghosts

let me correct myself, ghosts talk to him and chenle is like

“please stop nagging me you were born in the tang dynasty what do you know about millennial fashion”

the ghosts that stay around him and in his house tend to be ancestors

but when he goes anywhere,,,,he can see the spirits that are attatched to others

and since those people cant communicate with their loved ones

they tell all their problems to chenle

who looks a little weird having a conversation with thin air

when in reality he’s telling another sad ghost aunt that their niece is fine - she’s standing right there minding her own business no he’s not going to go over there and tell her that auntie misses her little honey and NO hes not going to ask if her cat ‘muffins’ is still alive

muffins spirit who is meowing in chenles left ear: meow

the only time chenle gets a break from all these ghosts is when he’s sleeping

or when he’s really focused on something

so sometimes he’ll practice martial arts for hours, worrying his friends and family

but it’s just because it helps keep the ghosts away

and no one else can understand because who would believe him???

even hanging out with mark or haechan is work

because they have ghosts around them - everyone does

so its like trying to talk to his friends AND their dead family members

“no one understands me,,,,,”

chenle murmurs one day as he’s walking to school - being followed for like three blocks by a wandering spirit of an old women who isnt sure where her husband is

“isn’t this where our farm was?”

she asks and chenle groans, looking over to the rows of apartment buildings

“not anymore i guess.”

he says aloud and catches some glances from passerbys

he keeps walking but the women is insistent on chatting and chenle is not having it

not with that chem quiz coming up and the fact that he’s already late

turning around on his heel, he glares at the ghost

“listen, three hundred and fifty years has passed! you are dead - your husband is too and i don’t know where -”

“don’t talk to her like that!”

surprised, chenle turns and sees you standing there

you have the same uniform as him, but he’s sure he’s never seen you in school before

you march over to stand beside him, looking over at the women who floats above you two

“ma’am, this boy doesnt know where your husband is. but im sure he is resting somewhere. you should go there too, let go of worry. you will find him there.”

your voice is calm, nurturing

the ghost stares back at you before breaking into tears and slowly, slowly disappearing

chenle blinks, turning to you

“wait - you - you - could see her?!?!?!”

you huff, “did you think you were the only person who could see ghosts in the whole world? believe me, you’re not that special.”

you turn to head back on your way

but chenle catches up

“are you a transfer?”

“yep!”

a spirit that peeks out from inside your backpack sticks its tongue out at chenle and he blinks again

“whose that?!?”

“he’s a kid i knew back home, passed from an illness and has been with me since then. he’s kind of -”

the ghost glares back at chenle

“don’t bother them!”

it chimes and hides back into your bag

“he’s kind of protective.”

you finish and chenle lets out a kind of “huh” noise

you two keep walking and chenle asks how you deal with the ghosts, all they do is nag him

you agree - they are naggy but it’s all about convincing them that they need to pass and not linger

“animal ghosts are the worst though, they don’t know about passing,,,,,and then they just-”

“meow nonstop in your ear? believe me i know.”

chenle motions to his leg, where a fluffy apparition is weaving between his legs

you laugh

and chenle suddenly forgets about your weird introduction and instead sees how cute the sound of your giggle is

but snapping back into it you two reach school

and chenle goes, “what class are you in?”

“ummm 5-A.”

“cool, youre with me!”

chenle smiles and suddenly - another spirit appears on his right

“wow so smooth, you wanna impress them and you go ‘cool youre with me!’ might as well just tell them you’re a big nerd-”

chenle groans

“this is the school ghost, he’s an ass.”

the ghost grins at you and tilts his head

“hey chenle, they can see me can’t they?”

“i can!”

you grin back

“huh, well let it be known here that chenle is a big nerd and probably already loves you-”

chenle nearly shouts from the ghost to shuttup, but notices the looks of students and keeps it back

you just laugh, “well us ghoul translators or whatever have to stick together don’t we?”

you reach out, offering your hand to chenle

who takes it, red blush and all

the school ghost makes a gagging noise and the ghost from your bag pops up again to chastise chenle for touching you

but for the first time their voices fade

and all chenle sees is your smile

and he can see that you’re thinking the same thing

im so happy there’s someone else like me ,,,,,,,

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holyytaehyung · 5 years

Text

NCT Dream React to s/o getting hurt protecting them

id throw myself infront of a bus for haecha- ahem. ignore me.. FYI this wont be too serious- as in it wont be like, full on accidents. Just things that could happen at any given time (even though major accidents,eg car crash, major trauma, can and do too just svkjbavajbjvj i just dont feel like crying again today please and thankyou)

Mark When Jeno had called out “MARK HYUNG WATCH OUT” after kicking a ball at the park, Mark immediately ducked, seeing it come straight toward him, he closed his eyes, flinching. But when he heard the impact of the ball, a crack, but didnt feel it, he opened his eyes just in time to see you wince and grab your wrist, after you had tried to block the ball from hitting him, it hitting you at an awkward angle. You couldnt move it without wincing, bruising already forming, Marks eyes would widen , immediately pulling you to him and observing the injury. Hed feel really bad and would probably scold you for getting hurt when he should have, but when you mumbled between sniffles that you only wanted to protect him, his heart fluttered. “i know, baby, but remember i dont ever want you to get hurt, this is pretty serious, thankyou, though.” he mumbled into your neck, on the way to the hospital, his arms around you.

Renjun when Renjun asked Mark to throw him the spatula from the other side of the kitchen, you werent worried, it was only when you realised that it was metal, and hot, having just come from being used in the pan, and the fact that mark seemed distracted, not able to feel the heat because of his sweater paws curse the darn things, you immediately leaped into action, grabbing the hot metal before your boyfriend was, wincing and placing it on the bench. Renjun at first was a little confused but when he saw you place your hand under cold water, a dark red line appearing where the top of the spatula touched your hand, he realised, and he felt horrible and completely silly. “baby- you didnt have to do that, id prefer me to get hurt than you!” hed wrap his arms around you, nuzzling your neck softly, but when you replied with a “you have a photoshoot tomorrow, renjunnie” His heart would honestly swell at the fact that you were so caring toward him and his work. Hed hate that you got hurt, and would play nurse to help you.

Jeno Jeno was grabbing books from the bookshelf, without realizing that there was a heavy book ontop of some, that looked like it could fall if you even sneezed too hard, and when you looked up from your phone on the couch to see the massive thing almost falling onto your unaware boyfriend, you immediately jumped up, pushing him out of the way suddenly, which not only scared him but surprised him at your aggression, but when it seemingly happened in slow motion, the book dropping, straight onto your back as you braced yourself, you dropped to the ground with a groan, and he was speechless, his jaw dropping as he processed what just happened. “bABY?” he squeaked, rushing to your side, his hands moving but doing nothing, as he struggled to decide what he should do. “w-why? did you do that?” he said with sad eyes, feeling bad. “dont you dare feel bad, remember when you literally tried to catch me from falling but you ended up falling?” you said, looking to him. Hed chuckle “yeah, but like i said then, i never want to see you hurt.”

Haechan Your boyfriend was playing a dangerous game. Your cat was his source of entertainment for now, as you watched your TV show beside him, but sadly, mittens was quite easily angered. So you warned him, one, twice, three times, that she was getting upset, Only to hear ”dont worry shes fine! arent you mittens- yes~” But when you finally saw the cats tail wag quite fast, you knew what was about to happen,-all to familiar with the animal’s characteristics. You quickly shoved Haechan to the side, causing him to furrow his eyebrows, ready to ask you what the heck you were doing, when the cat struck out, its claws slicing your hand, a fresh red stream leaking almost immediately. His eyes widened and he instantly felt bad, Knowing that you were right the entire time.

“im sorry” was what he said softly, pulling you to him and observing the incision, cleaning it up. “i shouldve listened to you..” “obviously” you said laughing at him softly. He knew then that he had chosen to date the perfect person- able to understand cats AND sassy.

Jaemin it was a bad idea, to throw plates to eacother to put them away, so when Haechan and Jaemin were doing the dishes; what did they do? They did it. But when you saw your boyfriend look away when a plate was coming in his direction, a startled squeak coming from Haechan at the distracted kid before him, You, who saw it, acted, But, you werent the best catch, so instead it dropped to the floor, but you lost your balance, falling forward, causing your hand to land on the shattered plate, your entire body weight on the hand. You winced and got up, Jaemin who was looking on in horror, immediately went to your side, apoligising a million times with wide eyes as he browught your hand to the sink, luckily- the injury was all bark and no bite, looking worse than it actually was because of the blood. So with a few bandaids you were okay. Putting them on for you, he looked at you sadly, bringing you into a hug, kissing the bandaids softly.

“dont ever get hurt for me again baby, if im so stupid i deserve to get injured” he mumbled, making you pout. “nope, ill do it as often as i need to, you keep me safe and i keep you safe.” He smiled at your stubborness. “what did i do to deserve you...”

Chenle When Chenle’s hyungs tried to play a prank on him, you knew it wouldnt go down too well. You knew chenle did okay with spicy food, but that much spice? That would hurt. The idea of seeing him in pain had you thinking of ways to avoid the situation for him, unfortunately going for the idea of eating it yourself- even if you cant handle spice... So when chenle went to grab the dumpling the hyungs planned for him, you pouted and begged him for it, him being a fool for you, immediately obliged, causing you to see the looks on his hyungs faces as their eyes became wide. “NO Y/N” Jaehyun started, but you had already eaten it. “what?” chenle said, looking at Jaehyun then back at you, watching as your face began to go red. “that was supposed to be for you.. it was extra extra spicy..” Yuta explained, making chenles eyes widen, knowing how you cant handle it. “you knew?” he and the hyungs said to you when you nodded, the hyungs were speechless, and so was chenle, you had tried to protect him. “you -have- to sing soon-” you said in between sniffles, and honestly his heart and all the hyungs hearts would speed up at the cute and dedicated action. Hed still feel horrible that you protected him and got hurt, but hed give you alot of milk and hug you until it was all better.

Jisung You were sitting in the dance practice room, not too far from Jisung, when you saw him start to loose his balance, stumbling, you immediately got up to try and help him, but he ended up falling back onto you. He had braced to fall, but when he felt himself fall onto something softer than the floor, and a little squeak was heard from you, he immediately had wide eyes as he realised you ad tried to help him. His frame was much bigger than yours so he started freaking out, getting up as quick as possible, knowing that you were probably injured. He watched you caress your ribs softly, wincing a little, but he couldnt help but smile at your little action. “listen here, cheeky one.. we get taught how to fall so it doesnt hurt as much” he pokes your nose. “so, i dont want to see you get hurt for me ever again, okay?” When you nodded, with a pout, hed smile, “youre still my hero, baby” hed hug you, careful to not hurt you. -admin rose

319 notes · View notes

nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

I am not my insecurities reflection- a truthful based oneshot

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

Ok, this will be a long author’s note but please bare with me as this is very important for you to understand this oneshot. For some context here because I havent posted alot about her yet, this is a oneshot about my Dc oc Gracie Lucio, set kinda in the same universe(i guess) of the teen titans judas contract movie( with Damian as robin) and its a oneshot written partly out of a vent of my own body image issues and partly out of an expression of how I’ve learned to look past said issues slowly.

But this gets very angsty until the end

Now to give a bit more context for the piece itself. The oc herself, Gracie Lucio( because I havent posted any art of her yet) for the reader’s understanding, she is not human, she is a werewolf(it feeds into her story so dont get me started on it alot of research went into this aspect of her character and it plays into her body issues)and body wise looks similar to Dick in the first season of Young Justice. Shes a naturally thin figured , broader shouldered girl who could( if she really wanted to) pass as a feminine boy with short jaw/ barely chin length hair( think of a thick messy longish pixie cut of dark hair). So shes naturally lean and lanky and a little underdeveloped for a 13 year old girl and as a heroine she has toned muscles from years of hero work. Most wouldnt see her having too many insecurities about her body image and appearance, but in truth shes riddled with them. She ages a bit differently than humans, it takes her body longer to develop and even then in some areas it develops differently all together. She struggles to gain any extra weight or build up natural feminine curves, something she wants. She WANTS to look like other girls her age, with more developed and heavier bodies, with curves and more weight and an actual figure. But with a supernaturally high metabolism added on top of a already genetic based thin figure and a intense and sometimes rigorous training and workout routine plus her work as a heroine gives no leeway to gain really any extra weight, its always worked off one way or another. And this causes...comments to be made about why she looks that way by civilians. and though she never shows it publicly she takes many of these, usually not flattering and sometimes cruel and rude, comments to heart(much like I used to unfortunately) and it worsens her negative feelings. This is a small story of her seeing those problems and issues and trying to face and overcome them. This is more centered around Gracie and Dick and Jason and their platonic and sibling like relationship as they help her through her darker times( again, this is partly me expressing my own personal struggles with body image (which arent the exact same as the character but the language and the comments are very similar)and partly how those two helped inspire me to have more confidence in my body no matter what I look like) and also a deeper peek into her complex relationship with Damian(but thats not the biggest focus) Sorry this was so long I mightve info-dumped a little but its important to understand the story. I hope you guys enjoy?

This is also told in Gracie’s point of view

This will cover some pretty deep kinda issues like body image problems and over eating and weight loss/gain and mentions of eating disorders without really discussing them and bullying so if that upsets you in any way now is the best time to scroll past for your own sake, I dont want you to upset yourself over my crappy emotional writing

I do not look that bad.

That’s what I have to force my mind to accept as I look into the mirror, meeting my own aqua green eyes hesitantly.

I always hated looking in the mirror lately, especially after training or after bathing, like now as I stood in the middle of my room in a slightly loose training type sports bra and spandex shorts. I don’t even want to glance down at my body, out of fear for seeing the same thing I always do.

‘She so skinny...is she eating right’

‘She needs to eat more and gain some weight’

‘what a twig for a superhero’

‘how have bad guys not snapped her in half? Jesus Christ I could probably break her with a sneeze!’

‘What a bad influence shes setting for young girls with such an thin figure!’

‘I think He needs to eat more Christ that poor boy must be starving! Why isn’t Nightwing feeding him more’

The flashes of comments flooded my mind the moment my eyes flickered down to the rest of me. To my thin, unfeminine figure. My underdeveloped and flat birdcage of a chest. To my lanky, toned, too flat stomach. The pinched waist figure. The flat empty expanse I called hips that blended too well into my too dainty looking bony legs. I looked too fucking skinny. And maybe they were right...as a hero I was a role model to those younger than me, and I promoted a Bad Body Image for girls to idolize with my lanky boy figure.

And it was a horrible body type I had no goddamn control over.

My species was not an easy one to live as, especially not intermingled with humans. The team knew, the team understood, but the rest of the world didn’t. As a lupinotuum pectinem, or lycanthrope which in easy translation is simply “Werewolf”, my whole body inner workings were different. Most of my kind were naturally lean and thin, like tall healthily thin model athlete body types and in general the females, even alpha females, were practically born twig like almost. And on top of that our bodies developed....differently. I was not raised by a pack or by my own kind after age 8, so even I didn’t know the full extent but females bodies took longer to grow and it made it very hard for them to gain weight because of the unnaturally high metabolism. Add being a superhero who once trained under a certain league member to the mix and you go from being the “healthy and admirable” type of skinny to the “unhealthy and concerning”type of skinny.

I hated it, and I hated my body. I hated pictures of me from the neck down, because they all looked the same no matter who they were with. And I saw the comments everyone made. Whether its a surprise photo Garfield took dragging me into the picture to commemorate something or another or me taking pictures around Gotham or Blüdhaven with Dick on the social media Gar helped me set up, or even the rare photos I’d get to take with Jason or Damian or Tim and get to post. Every time the flood of comments were the same. The same things I now repeated over and over as I looked over my body angrily.

OMG look at that poor girl is she ok??? She looks like she needs to be hospitalized!

Christ almighty BB isn’t it too early to be posing with skeletons?? LOL

Dude not funny that girl must be anorexic or something.

Such a cute sibling couple but sweetie you need a fast food break to add some fat to those bones!

Fuck kid go eat something instead of taking pictures

Awwww you two look real happy! I hope you’re on the way to lunch or something!

Holy shit your guy’s size difference is so vast its almost worrying

how are you even alive with that little weight

Go eat some junk food or something before you pass out

OMG look at her shes so small and stick like! Her clothes look like they’re hanging off a scarecrow!

That girl cannot be healthy tell me someone is making her eat more

Every time its always the same damn thing....

I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned away from the mirror nearly in disgust and went back to changing into more casual clothes, bitterly noting how my clothes did in fact seem to hang awkwardly on my body as if I was too thin for them to fit correctly. Like they always did lately.

Ew look at her she looks so gross all stick-like like that!

What a fucking twig of a girl! Are those her ribs poking through her shirt??

Bitch go eat a fucking hamburger you need some damn food in you.

God that weight cant be healthy you need a doctor!!

“Kid? Yo kid you in there?” My head jerked up from the comments flooded screen of my phone to meet Jason’s eyes, catching the quirk of his eyebrow as he sat across the diner table from me. We were at a diner he favored whenever he came into town to visit, a little family owned treasure with delicious and greasy food and the sweetest staff on earth. We frequented the spot during his visits, our own personal little thing since we’d gotten closer. I plastered on a smile and ignored the slight narrow of those blue eyes, the small furrow of his brow got as I snapped off my phone and set it aside.

“Sorry Jay, BB tagged me in something dorky and I got distracted. So what were you saying?”

He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t the most convincing at that moment but I kept that damn plastic smile on my face and snagged some of his curly fries right in his face, making him crack a smile and smack my hand away from his tray.

“ Hands off my food, eat your own wolfie.” I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname I’d been branded and let the plastic smile slowly be replaced by a more genuine one as we began chatting again, grabbing my over sized cheeseburger and finishing every last bite and moving onto the large fries and two milkshakes, hopelessly praying that maybe this time the calories would stick and trying to push away the comments to the back of my mind. I was with Jason and we were having a damn good time, and I wasn’t going to let those comments ruin his visit...not again.

You should be ashamed. All you’re doing is promoting bad eating habits looking like that.

You’re such a bad influence for young girls who idolize you with such a horribly unreachable appearance.

Shes too bony to ever be considered pretty

Does she have a eating disorder or something?

I stiffened instantly startled by a hand on my shoulder, turning off my phone instinctively and making the endless comments disappear into darkness before whoever could see them over my shoulder. The hand was big, calloused, and gentle and I felt myself relax as I looked up behind me with a smile.

“ Hey Dick, did you need something?” He smiled down at me with that big bright smile that made all the dark thoughts and feelings melt away and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, blue eyes meeting aqua green.

“ Well I was wondering if you’re doin’ anything right now or if you’d want to go catch dinner with Kori, Dami, and I. I noticed that you’d skipped your usual early dinner....” I wasn’t surprised he noticed, he normally did...

Once again that smile plastered itself on my face as I told him I’d love to, and to just let me go get changed into something better. I saw his hesitation at the fake smile, practically smelled it on him and prayed he wouldn’t bring it up right now, god please don’t ask now or I might just break...

Maybe god is listening because he didn’t mention it and just told me to meet them by the front doors of the tower in ten.

How are you not dead yet?

Jesus Christ stop promoting your eating disorder like its a good thing!

She looks so sickly is she ok? :(

Yeah shes sick, sick in the damn head for posting such disgusting pro-Ana pictures

How can you post pictures with a clear conscience looking like that?

Some “superhero”

I was wrong, no god was listening to me.

Dinner was rough to get through, even if it didn’t start that way.

For once I didn’t have to worry or dread possibly checking my phone for anything, I turned it off by the time we got to the restaurant. I even got a small compliment from Damian on our way in, though it was more a snark at me not tripping up the stairs. But it was Damian so I snapped right back with a smile, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Sitting beside Dick and across from Damian, I nudged his foot with mine in a silent gesture to cheer up even a little. He huffed through his nose but I saw his body relax and it made me relax. Those moments before the food came, our chatter and soft laughter as we looked over the menu, and the soothing knowledge knowing that Dick pulled me and Damian along to this dinner so we would go out on a date ourselves, ever the best brother and wingman. The mood was light and pleasant and I could see even the ever sharp and moody Dami lighten up a little by the time we ordered. Maybe the mood shifted into something different as we waited for our food and I was sipping on my tall glass of iced cola, when Damian’s fingers casually brushed over the top of my unused hand that laid peacefully on the table. The gesture was subtle and light, quick enough to miss if your senses weren’t sharp. I didn’t acknowledge it and neither did he, a silent understanding that words would just ruin whatever this was. I accepted that happily, as he was much more engaged in the conversations and even smiling a little more during them as he debated with Kori on leading strategies. Things were pleasant, comforting at that table in those few seconds before the decline, Dick smiling and chuckling at his lover and little brother, Said lover and brother having a more upbeat discussion about different leadership styles and their effects, and lightly debating which work better for what. And Damian’s hand next to mine, ever so lightly brushing against it in his wordless way to say I was still there and at even the smallest twitch I’d have his attention again. Dick ruffled my hair and asked how my online courses were coming along, since I didn’t attend schools publicly and I was more than happy to babble about my classes, and my current work in them. It was nice and I was happy, all the horrible feelings from before draining away as I tuned everything else but these three out of my enhanced hearing. Why had I even felt so shitty when I had great people like them in my life?

Then I heard it as that damned supernatural hearing tuned back in to the rest of the world.

The words and whispers and mutters and the blatant gossip and bad mouthing.

“Look at that younger girl sitting at that table dear...shes so thin I think she should be in a hospital not a restaurant.”

“Ewww mom look that girl looks like a skeleton!”

“ Honey shush….”

“Is….is that girl ok?”

“Dude of course she isn’t just look at her shes unhealthy as fuck. Probably has some kind of eating disorder too or something.”

It all flooded over me and all of my happy mood washed away under the wave. I couldn’t tell if the others could hear them so I grit my teeth tried to tune it all back out, trying so hard to focus more on Kori’s explanation of her points. My hands began to curl up subconsciously, making Damian’s attention snap to me. Fuckin I….no, I cant tell him...I shouldn’t. I forced my hand to uncurl and that stupid smile sprawled across my lips as if someone had put tape over them. I saw his eyes narrow and near begged mentally for him to not say anything or for Dick to distract him...anything.

“Ahem….your meal.”

I have never more thankful to a waitress before in my life...until I saw the look she gave me as she placed my admittedly large order of food in front of me, something that was normally a platter for two people’s worth of beef and sides. I caught the judgmental and suspicious look she had glancing between me and my food and I felt shame burn all over, starting to hang my head to avoid that damn look.

“ If this is all our food then your job is done. Don’t you have OTHER tables to be serving?” Damian’s curt and sharp tone cut through the air and briefly through my shame. This waitress knew nothing about me and i certainly owned no one any explanations about my eating habits, so why was she hanging around giving me looks about my food…?

“ Damian don’t be so rude!” Dick cleared his throat and I felt his strong arm wrap protectively around my shoulder as he leaned close to the edge of the table while Kori’andr apologized for Damian’s attitude vaguely. But I could hear it, there wasn’t much life to her apology. It sounded like a politely required apology, almost...defensive?

“ I am so sorry about my little brother Miss. He’s also sorry. But do you need anything else since we seem to be all set here but you’re still hanging around when you must be very busy…?” Dick’s words were sweet and cheerful, but there was an edge to his tone that gave a clear warning. His arm around me tightened a little protectively as he gave one of his signature charming smiles that could light up half the damn city as he then inquired if there was some sort of problem. The waitress stammered that there wasn’t any problem and that it was fine and for us to enjoy our meal before scampering away to continue her work. I felt other patrons eyes most DEFINITELY on us now and I couldn’t help shrinking into the taller man’s side to hide.

“ I’m sorry this keeps happening…” I murmured to him as our respective dates started eating and slowly reviving their conversation, moving on to mission recounts and training while Damian shot a dark look at the other patrons that made them look away. Dick gave my shoulder a squeeze and i moved closer for that familiar warmth and comfort...my chest felt heavy and my appetite had died and I wanted to curl up in my room and die of the shame. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t have let me. So instead I instinctively sought out the safety Dick’s presence brought me, like a protective older sibling whose arms I could be enveloped in and forget about the harsh world outside them.

He knew without words, catching my body language before anyone else at the table. He knew me best.

“ Do you want to leave? We can get to go boxes and enjoy this meal all the same back at the tower, or even mine and Kori’s apartment. Is that what you’d rather do?” It was tempting, oh god it was so tempting to just say yes and let him lead me away while I re-gathered myself, same way he did when we were both 13 and living under the same roof...before…

I shook my head and forced those thoughts to the very back of my mind. I was in a dark enough place of mind already without that.

“ N-no...you guys set this up...i...i don’t want one nosy waitress to ruin our whole meal. Lets just eat ok D?” He smiled at the nickname and ruffled my hair with a nod, both him and Kori making sure I knew if things got too uncomfortable we could leave and the heaviness eased a little at their consideration. I started picking at my food and slowly regaining my appetite, once again nudging Damian with my foot to start up conversations. I ignored the words for the majority of the dinner, we even began to enjoy ourselves again. The last straw was probably as we were paying and putting leftovers in to go bins. I was admittedly nibbling on food out of my bin, despite starting to feel full.

“ I swear you are a bottomless pit sometimes Gracia.” I rolled my eyes at Damian’s remark and gave him a small smirk as I licked my fingers clean.

“ This bottomless pit can still kick your ass in training wonder boy~” He grunted and I saw the challenge glow in his eyes as he smirked back, an excitement for tomorrow’s combat training flaring up between us.

“ You really shouldn’t mix up your delusional dreams with reality alpha PUP.” I said something snarky back and we began to bicker halfheartedly over who was winning. I finally snapped shut my leftover box and stood with Damian as we stared each other down confidently, Dick chuckling at our competitiveness.

“ Tomorrow morning’s combat training will certainly be interesting with these two all riled up already.” The words didn’t fully process as I cracked my knuckles and squared up to the admittedly….taller boy.

“ Last I checked Damian I was ahead 11-10. And tomorrow, I just cant wait to make it 12.” He gave a hard laugh to my face and faced up to me with a smirk as our other two companions stood and shooed us more in front of the table so they could leave their seats. He opened his mouth to say something likely scalding and snarky back at me when the worst comment pierced between us both like a goddamn bullet.

“ Damn, I never knew such a sickly, too skinny bitch like her could eat like such a fat fucking pig.”

I think I stopped breathing as my body flinched at the following laughter. The man was clearly on the tipsy side and sitting at a larger table with a group of laughing friends, though the one who said it was standing next to the table with a drink that reeked of the cheapest alcohol this restaurant probably sold, and he didn’t stop there. Oh god of course he didn’t stop there. He kept laughing and loudly making obvious comments at me and openly mocking me and how much I ate to his table, either fully aware of what he was doing and that we could clearly see and hear him or too drunk to really care as more insults and name calling that I had heard and seen and read plenty of times before fell from his mouth. My heart was pounding in my ears as the next few moments happened slowly.

I thought I had seen anger plenty of times before, the worse being the one and only time someone made a malicious joke about my appearance to my face when I was walking beside Jason and it took all my supernatural strength to drag him off and away the guy before he murdered him in broad daylight and to keep him walking to wherever we had been heading.

I had seen pissed, but I had never seen downright hellish fury until that moment when I looked at Damian and Dick.

I had seen Damian mad, and angry, and pissed, a few times in our first meetings at me personally. I had seen Dick mad, angry, and pissed off a a fair chunk of times, even if they had never been directly at me. I had never seen this expression on either of them in those times. And in those few moments that passed almost in slow motion and Damian began to lurch forward with murderous intent the thought finally hit me. ‘ Was this...the first time these two had really heard the comments about me? Oh god…’ I felt like I was moving in honey as Damian stalked past me and I tried to reach out to him slowly, a gleam to his eyes that made my blood go cold.

If someone was to ask me in the future what I believed Death looked like, I would say with completely conviction that death would have the exact eyes Damian had in that moment: lethal, merciless, and furious. And he would have Dick’s cold expression, a look I never wanted to see on the normal cheerful man’s face ever again.

Time snapped back to a normal speed like a whip and my hand grasped nothing but air as Damian stormed over to the man.

“D...da--”

“What did you just say you disgusting drunk.” I might’ve shivered at his tone and I felt Kori’s hands on my shoulders tugging me back protectively as she looked down at me worried.

“ Gracie...don’t listen to him, there’s no reason to cry.” Cry? What was she talking ab--

That’s when I felt it, something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I...I was crying. My walls and my limit of bottling things in for one day was crumbling away as I watched Damian go to confront the man, my voice disappearing under the surge of hurt and anxiety. I couldn’t even say his damn name. I felt frozen and helpless as Dick stalked after Damian, fists clenched.

I had to do something say something anything to stop them before things went badly I had to I had--

“Eh?What the fuck did you say to me brat?”

“ You heard me you worthless piece of filth. Apologize to her, now.”

I needed to do something anything as I felt myself crumbling. Why wasn’t Dick stopping him why

“ And what if I don’t pipsqueak? You gonna hit me? Now scram. Maybe take your little bitch to a hospital for treatment instead of parading her around a restaurant with normal people!”

“ He might not do anything, But I will. Now take it back before things get messy.”I think my body began trembling as I watched panic swelling. I just wanted to leave and go home. I didn’t want to see this unfold, I just wanted to be home at the tower curled under my covers to simulate the warmth of another person holding me. I wanted to be anywhere, anywhere else then stuck in this nightmare.

So I moved without thinking and lunged, aiming for the back of Dick’s jacket to grab and ready to swallow any shards of pride and beg to leave. Instead I collided with Damian’s back and rolled with it, hugging him tightly from behind and tugging back with a whimper.

“ P-please you two...l...lets just leave...please lets just go home please…” Kori grabbed Dick’s arm firmly and tugged him back.

“ Dick...shes in the midst of an anxiety attack, let it go and lets leave. We need to get her out of here.” He took a difficult deep breath but nodded glaring down the man harshly enough that he flinched and scurried to the bar with his tail between his legs mumbling insults. One of his friends started to stand and began nervously apologizing, though one vicious look from the boy I was holding shut him up fast. It took me and Kori working together to drag the two out of the restaurant and the ride home was tense and silent. I couldn’t look at any of them, instead opting to stare at my feet wiping my eyes.

“ Does that happen often. People talking about you like that.” His cold tone made me flinch a little. At this point I was so upset and anxious and emotionally drained on the inside that I thought Damian was mad at me of all people for what happened. Those dark thoughts began to slowly bubble up to the surface and my insecurities screamed that he blamed me for what happened in the restaurant. I remained silent, too upset to answer. I heard his growl of annoyance and I began to hunch up, ready for a verbal fight.

“ Damian drop it for now. Shes in no right place of mind to talk about it.” Dick warned from the driver seat with a low voice that reminded me he was also upset and angry. When we got back to the tower I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything, I just bolted for my room as fast as I could, at a inhuman, unnatural speed that they couldn’t keep pace with.

I stayed locked in my room for three days, not willing to face any of them the next morning during training. Everything was heavy and hurt and it was hard trying to rebuild those shattered walls of protection, that image of unbothered confidence. I stayed in bed locked away from the world and curled up under the weak protection of my sheets mostly unresponsive to those outside it.

The first to come knocking and checking on me was Kori, asking if I was ok and if I needed to talk. She left after a little while of trying for a response unsuccessfully though, saying she’d come back to check on me later. It was maybe an hour later that Garfield came knocking, asking why I’d missed breakfast AND training. His voice was concerned as he asked if everything was ok and if I was even in there. The concern poked painfully into my silence, tempting me to speak and make myself vulnerable.

Vulnerability killed. I knew that first hand. So I forced myself to stay quiet until his knocks and footsteps faded away.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a self deprecating blur, only marked by Kori’s two other attempts at my door. The last one I barely noticed as exhaustion kicked back in and I drifted off into an unsteady sleep

The next day after I woke up things still went by in a near timeless blur. I could hear my phone buzzing and vibrating and rattling for my attention but I left it there on the nightstand unnoticed and curled further under the sheets, lost in a slate tinted world of dark thoughts and darker temptations. But that day was harder to drift away through.

The first to stop by was Jamie, knocking a few times and calling out to me with concern and worry clear in his voice as he asked if I was ok. He asked if I’d eaten at all since yesterday, since he hadn’t seen me leave my room. The thought of eating made my stomach stir and my body curl around it ashamed. He knocked a few more times after that, his voice growing a bit more worried at the lack of answer. After awhile I heard him walk away and I barely lifted my head as I hugged my too skinny too unhealthy body close, feeling those blaring imperfections and flinching at myself.

It was no wonder everyone said those things...if so many people said them so often then they must be true.

The next to come by was Raven. She only knocked twice and gave a small sigh.

“ Gracie...I know you’re in there. If you need someone to talk to...my room is in the next hall over, and I will be here to listen. I wont force you to come out...just please remember you aren’t alone here. You have the team behind you.” I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep my ensuing whimper silent. The words, soothing and reassuring in context, stabbed into my heart and my resolve. I WANTED to depend on them, to throw open the door and break down under the assurance I could and would not be treated differently after, and be assured and comforted and remind of the positives. I wanted it so badly I was scared of it. Or maybe...I was scared of it NOT happening as those damn fears and insecurities and dark thoughts sowed heavy doubt through me. She lingered a little longer than Jaime, eventually her footsteps disappearing. I remember meekly poking my head from the sheets to stare absently out the half covered windows lost in thought, time slipping by me once more to the point I almost didn’t register Garfield and Kori both stopping by my door again at least twice more worried.

When Dick stopped by as the sun was setting was when the harder pain set in.

I heard the knocks and ignored it in favor of the changing color sky the sunset offered, my room washed in a dim orange and amber gleam. Then I heard his voice, soft and sick with worry from the outside and my heart thudded so hard it hurt. Hard.

“ Gracie...C’mon Gracie-girl please open the door. We’re all worried about you...I’m really worried about you. You haven’t eaten for a day and a half...Please let me in...” I almost broke completely at the pain in that familiar voice, the voice I never wanted to be the cause of being in pain or anguish again.

Well looks like I did a GREAT job of preventing that didn’t I?

He knocked again, asking and pleading and trying to reason, anything to get that door to open. My eyes burned with hot fresh tears and I curled up into a tight ball whimpering softly and breaking my vow of silence.

“....D-dick...p-please...j-just leave me a-alone…I-i just need some t-time alone…”

My voice came out pathetically weak and shaking with tears, which I know he heard. There was a silence for a few moments, perhaps shock that I actually answered this time. I felt warmth sliding down my cheeks as he sighed and reluctantly muttered that he’d come check back on me tomorrow and that there was leftover dinner ready for me to heat up on the kitchen counter before he slowly walked away. His fading footsteps echoing in my ears. Was my heart breaking on every step away? I couldn’t tell. That feeling slipped into the dark thoughts that followed the setting sun. Dark thoughts that also reminded me of the one person who HADN’T come to check on me, and the resulting pain of his absence.

The third day had been mostly quiet. It was almost a painful relief, quiet meant no additional pain of--

“ Gracia.”

That one word coming from Damian’s mouth sent so many things through me and sent any resolve I had spiraling away. His tone was a forced kind of neutral, he sounded as if he was trying to stay calm but it wasn’t exactly working. There was something to his voice I had no energy to figure out. He didn’t knock and there was silence for a few moments but I felt his presence remain.

“ You haven’t eaten since the restaurant.” No questions with him, he didn’t need to ask, always calm and analyzing.

“ ...You cant just stay in there forever Gracia.” A stern lilt to his voice, weakly enforced by the faint sound of his hand on the door. I could only whimper and curl up more. There was another stretch of silence before he sighed and his footsteps continued down the hall.

He was the only one to come check on me, a blessing and a damnation.

The day and night went by so listlessly I didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up to banging knocks on my door. The volume grated on my sensitive hearing and made me flinch. Who would even be knocking like that…?

“ Oi. Kid. I know you’re still in there. Open the door.” Jason’s hard and no shit taking voice shot through me. Why...Why was Jason in the tower? Why was he in the city?

The knocking continued relentlessly, unlike the others. It even got louder and angrier.

“ Kid I said open this goddamn door.” There was no request or plea in his voice. It was a command, a harsh, cold command. I tried covering my ears with my hands and curling into a tight ball as the knocking continued. He wasn’t about to give up to a little girl.

I knew this too well.

“ Graciea Rosica Lucio I swear to god if you don’t open this goddamn door in the next couple second I will break it down. Now get off your fucking ass and answer me.” I don’t know what it was, but hearing his threat sent my body into mechanical motion, trudging over to the door and reluctantly unlocking it and letting it slide open with a low hiss, the banging finally ceasing. I couldn’t look him in the face, empty and ashamed it took threats to get me to open the door. So I stared dully at his boots and took in his scent as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me back inside. I stumbled clumsily along with as he sat me on my bed and stood in front of me. I kept my gaze down towards his knees, the smell of nicotine wisping off his body in a way that told me he very recently had been smoking, no less than an hour ago most likely. Smoke and city is what filled my room. There was only a beat of silence before he spoke.

“ Look at me.” I lifted my head and stared at his chest and his crossed arms, unwilling to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t bare to see what kind of disappointed look he likely had on his face. Perhaps I didn’t want to see my reflection in his eyes, see the sickly, disgusting and bony figured girl with greasy hair and dark circles under dulled eyes and sallow cheeks. I heard the slight growl that rumbled from the back of his throat in warning and I briefly wondered if I would be forced to look him in the eyes. His arms uncrossed and I prepared myself for anything.

Anything except for two big plastic grocery bags filled with fast food bags and orders was dropped onto my lap, the contents still hot. I blinked slowly once, twice, and finally got enough courage in my confusion to look up at his face. When I did I was a little startled.

“ Eat. And you aren’t moving until those bags are polished off understand me?”

He looked visibly angry, eyes narrowed and mouth locked in a fearsome scowl with eyebrows furrowed. But his eyes were soft and worried and it took me a minute to realize worry was what was making his scowl so harsh. He crossed his arms across that broad chest again and I realized he was in his work gear, all the way down to the guns strapped to his thighs. All he lacked at the moment was his helmet and domino mask, his dark hair messier than usual and the white streak falling between his eyes. We had a staring contest and in those pupils I saw myself, I saw the shell I had become and it made me sick, breaking me briefly from the depressive haze.

How the hell had I let myself fall this far, this deep?

We didn’t speak until he grunted, eyes narrowing more in a way even those concerned blues didn’t weaken the glare as he spoke gruffly.

“ You better start eating before I start just shoving it down your damn throat.” I knew he would too. He wasn’t fucking around, I didn’t doubt he’d follow through with any threats made. Slowly I looked down at the pile of food and reached for the first bag, pulling it open and blinking fast as fresh tears stung my eyes.

It was from our favorite diner, and it was my usuals two cheeseburgers and large lightly salted fries with a second order of fat steak fries and fried pork strips. He’d even gotten all the little sides I enjoyed with it and I looked back up at him with a pained look. Maybe that look made him relax because his expression softened slightly, his voice quieting to something gentler.

“ C’mon now...I brought you all your favorites, now start eating...it’s been three days and your body cant handle that. We can talk after.” My shoulders slumped as all the tension stored in my body dissipated a little as he continued to speak, like a tightly pulled strong finally cut loose.

“ Kid I’m not mad at you. No one is. So just eat the food and then we’ll figure shit out, just like we do on any other visit.” I think the tears started falling because his face got blurry and there was warmth in my face. If I did start crying he didn’t say anything, just nodded at the bag. I gulped and slowly but surely pulled out one of the burgers and slowly took a bite, struggling a little to swallow it with a throat that was closing up from emotions. Once I did though my hunger kicked me hard and I began devouring the food, one bag after another.

It took me about a half hour to finish both plastic bags but I did, followed by slamming through at least two water bottles and one thick milkshake that almost made a mess. Jason simply watched over me as I ate from his spot in front of me. The silence was almost soothing, not painful as it had been before. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked back up at him and we made eye contact.

“ So are you going to tell me what happened? Really happened?” I broke his gaze to stare towards the floor as the acidic shame began to creep back over me. He sighed.

“ C’mon kid just let it out already. Who am I to judge? So why don’t you trust me like you USED to and tell me?” Those words shot through my heart and head.

I...I wasn’t trusting him...trusting anyone...I…i...

It was like Jason opened a flood gate.

It all came spilling out with a new surge of tears and mid sentence cracking sobs, my body physically heaving from the intensity as it all came out. All the months of insecurities and pain and doubts and fears and comments and negativity and hate and bullying came rushing out like a tidal wave and Jason took to all, listening to everything without a single word as I let everything out and let myself break down completely, wails and sobs replacing words eventually. I felt him shift and kneel in front of me, felt big strong sturdy hands grip my shoulders to steady me and keep me anchored as I buried my face into my hands and gasped out cries and pained wailing yowls that filled the room and spilled out of it. I vaguely remember the sounds of multiple hurried footsteps coming towards the door but I didn’t care. All I felt was Jason’s hands on my shoulders and his steady, continuous heartbeat in my ears as well as he strong breathing. One set of footsteps dared to enter the room and hurry over, only stopped by Jason’s calm voice.

“ Let her get it out, its the only thing that’ll help.” The footsteps stopped and eventually the wails faded into blubbering whimpers and whines and hiccups, constantly sniffling. I lifted my head to look at him through blurred eyes and got one brief sight of Dick standing behind Jason that sent me into a whole new wave of sobs.

God I’ve been nothing but selfish and now I’d fucking hurt Dick again even when I swore I’d never do that again and i--

I let out a high pitched whine that turned into pathetic blubbered and wailed apologies. Over and over like a broken record I couldn’t stop apologizing to them for everything even parts that weren’t my fault in any way I still apologized for it I just couldn’t stop. Jason’s grip on me tightened only slightly before slipping away and for a single moment I was terrified I’d annoyed him with all the apologies and was about to add that to my list of them when two strong arms wrapped around me and and Dick’s scent surrounded me.

“ Shh shh shh shhh….shhh Gracie its ok now shh shh its ok I got you its not your fault…” I sniffled and wailed out more sobs and begs for forgiveness as I clung to him like he was a life preserver. And at that moment he was. He hugged me tighter and practically cradled me into his chest stroking my hair as he murmured reassurances, assuring me I was well forgiven and it wasn’t my fault. Everyone got insecurities especially when facing so much negativity. How I was so strong for fighting it for so long regardless. But it was ok to not always be strong and be able to handle it. That he was there and it was ok now. It took awhile but eventually all my noise quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and the occasional whimper as my trembling and heaving finally eased away into a limp tiredness. I felt exhausted but in a way different than the past couple days. I felt lighter and the more Dick spoke gently the lighter and more relaxed I felt,all the pain easing as he banished every dark thought one by one.

“ You ARE a hero Gracie.”

“ you aren’t a skeleton or a scarecrow or a twig.”

“ You are not too bony.”

“ You’re beautiful.”

“ You aren’t sick and you don’t need any doctors.”

“ You’re ok. The way your body works and retains weight naturally is not your fault.”

“ You’re only thirteen you’re still growing kiddo.”

“ I was scrawny and thin until I was at least sixteen Gracie its not that uncommon.”

“ You do NOT have to hold yourself to stupid human beauty standards.”

“ You’re beautiful to us, that’s all that matters.”

“ You’re ok, you have us.”

Each and every statement cleared my mind and I slumped against him with tears still falling down my cheeks. His hand carefully cupped the back of my neck in a soothing gesture to ease the wolf side of me, adding a very small amount of pressure to ensure the sense of security and safety the movement brought. I whispered out a hoarse thank you, my throat sore and raw but already beginning to heal. He smiled into my hair and I let my eyes slip shut in contentment. I felt...stabilized, as if the whole world had been constantly tilted dangerously under my feet for months and now it had finally been returned to normal, balancing me once again.

I felt a second, no technically third, hand tangle itself into my thick and greasy hair and ruffle it affectionately, fingers tangling themselves in the dark chestnut locks.

“ We’re always here for you kid. Whether you like it or not. You can be honest and confide in your inner circle Gracie. We aren’t going to look at you any differently...so next time don’t keep your mouth shut.” My nerves settled and I leaned into his hand with a loud hiccup, making him snort. I looked up and saw both older men smiling down at me, both with their own kind of soft expressions. I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose and smiled back shakily, feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a long while.

I learned a few things a few hours later, after I’d fallen asleep in Dicks arms and woke up on the couch out in the Tower’s game room with Garfield and Jaime looking after me. My head was resting on Garfield’s leg and he had his elbow rested on my upper arm comfortably as he and Jaime played some kind of two player video game, keeping their voices lower than usual to be considerate of me sleeping. Opening my eyes was difficult as they felt dry and crusted and stung from crying so much. But my throat was no longer sore. When they saw I was awake they paused the game and and told me they were happy I was up, as I had been out cold for at least a solid couple hours. That was when I learned the first thing : Dick and Kori had informed the team of the incident at the restaurant after the first day I stayed locked up in my room, and Garfield had let it slip in his rage that he thought I had finally stopped getting those comments, and confessed that I’d been getting bullied and harassed about my appearance online for months. What I found out was all those months what I failed to notice was Garfield fighting back on my behalf every chance he got. He defended me, constantly called people out for harassment and even worked on getting some of the worst and most aggressive ones banned. For months he’d been do it as relentlessly as he could, filling his own social medias with both our pictures and his constant defense and positivity towards me to fight it back. It got lost in my own comment section so I stupidly didn’t realize. It warmed my heart knowing he’d kept my back even when I never noticed or mentioned it, though he waved it off and just gave me his big old smile telling me it wasn’t that big a deal,

“ After all, you’d do the same for me in a heartbeat!” And he wasn’t wrong. But I still hugged him tight in thanks anyway, an embrace he happily returned as he warned me next time I lied about being harassed there’d be hell to pay.

I assured him there wasn’t going to be a next time anymore and for the first time in months finally wholeheartedly meant it.

The second thing I learned was Jaime told me during those first two days I was locking myself away Damian had gone back to the restaurant and used Bruce’s name to hunt that guy that had been harassing me down and gotten a few hefty harassment charges and minor endangerment charges slapped onto the guy, throwing in a sob story of how I was now in emergency care in the hospital because of him. I knew he didn’t throw his last name around often, didn’t exactly like having to do so to be taken seriously. The fact he did for me…

I had a lot more feelings for Damian after that knowledge.

The third thing I learned was that the only reason Dick and Kori hadn’t come by to check on me yesterday was was because they spent the entire time hunting for Jason to get his help with getting me out, and when they DID find him he stormed for the tower and made it there before they did somehow, he was that angry.

As they were telling me this and retelling a very tense video call between Nightwing and Batman during the second day Damian came in in his full Robin attire, regarding us stoically. When I saw him I stood and the room quieted as I approached him, the both of us observing each other. When we stood a foot apart I stared into his masked eyes quietly and he looked into my tired eyes. I saw his mouth start to open to speak and my body lurched forward without me, hugging onto him tightly.

“Thank you...you didn’t have to do that for me thank you thank you thank you…” He was quiet and I was about to let go and move away when I felt his arm come around me and grip the back of my shirt, returning the embrace. Neither of us was at a point that we were really physically affectionate by any means but my heart swelled when he hugged me back, leaning his head against my own and allowing me to bask in the warmth of his arms and his scent. When I felt him roll his shoulders I took that as my cue and slowly pulled away, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek as I did before retreating back to give him his space.

I think I saw his cheek flare pink but I’ll never say for sure because that would mean admitting just how red my own cheeks were.

I’d love to say that after that everything ended happily and perfectly and things went great forever and ever. But I cant, life doesn’t work like that.

But things did get better.

I was under heavy supervision several weeks, with almost stricter watches on my food intake to make sure I didn’t try to over eat or try to force weight gain. Bruce had me stay with him and Damian for a few weeks as well to make sure I didn’t slip back into that dark place. It was a bit smothering at times...but in all honesty I welcomed the smothering because I knew it meant how much they all cared. And staying with Bruce again...it brought up my mood believe it or not. Being in the manor brought back happier memories of my childhood and seeing the man I considered a fatherly figure more often perked me up. Plus I got to see Tim a lot more than usual in those few weeks, a perk and joy all in itself as he kept me company when he wasn’t too busy with his work. Tim was also the one who disabled all comments on my social medias one calm rainy evening in the lounge. I was grateful and he patted my head after as he read his case files. I think I might’ve fallen asleep against him, I cant say I fully remember. With each passing week I felt better and better. It took a long time for my self esteem and confidence to rebuild itself, but it got some jump starts. Perhaps the best part was two months later after a sparring session with Kori. She was giving me tips on striking with a staff when Dick and the big bad bat Brucie himself walked in.

“ Batman? Has something happened?” He shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder.

“ I’m going to borrow Gracie for a few minutes.” Dick gently took her hand and smiled as he whispered something to her as he led me out of the training room and placed a long bottle of what looked like red chewy vitamins into my hand. When I looked up at him confused he gave me some of the best news of my life.

“ These are specially created vitamins designed to accommodate your body’s inhuman metabolism. Tim helped me create them. They're designed to help regulate fats and carb distribution in your body and allow your body to hold onto and gain more weight without immediately burning it off. Take one every week and in a few months you should be up at least one weight class if not more as long as you keep to your regular healthy eating habits, just like you wanted. By Tim’s calculations within the year you should gain enough weight to have a thicker figure, though you may always retain this thinner “ballet-ques” figure...you will more closely resemble the figure of girls your age.” I stared up at him then at the vitamins and sniffled, fighting off tears of joy. All those weeks with Tim and his seemingly just curious questions about my species and their anatomy...the “ case files”...I owed Tim a lot for this.

“ It was Dick’s idea, after all that happened two months ago.” The softer tone brought a smile to my face and I nodded, barely restraining the urge to hug Bruce while he was in the cowl.

“ T-thank you...thank you this means more to me than you know…” He nodded and turned to leave but I caught the ghost of a smile on his face as he walked away.

And once he had I ran back into the training room and tackled Dick to the ground with a ecstatic howl, shifting mid leap into wolf form and licking his face in gratitude, making him laugh as he lazily tried to push away my affection.

I started taking them that day, and it took a few months for a noticeable difference to take place, but it did. My clothes and uniform stopped hanging off me like a walking scarecrow and I started developing the beginning of a feminine figure. I stopped trying to stuff my face too much at every meal and with every week after my self esteem raised back up a little higher. Maybe people saw it in the big, wide crooked smiles in pictures of me now, no matter who they were with. Or maybe the team saw it in the fact I stopped trying to hide my body in layers of clothes, walking around in my favorite tank top after missions instead of over sized sweatshirts and shirts, or the fact I didn't mind sudden pictures taken of me. Regardless it showed and in time I was more than happy to show off that confidence. Throughout it all Jason made near constant visits between jobs to make sure I didn’t have too major of setbacks and Dick stayed by my side as often as he could, supporting me and being a physical reminder almost that I was never alone.

And I didn't feel alone.

And one day as I was getting ready for an outing I paused in front of the mirror and looked at myself, looked at my slightly more filled out tank top and the small curve of slightly more defined hips and an actually fairly filled out stomach, a fuller figure to match my broader than normal shoulders. I slowly looked into my own eyes and after a moment I began to smile.

Somehow….I didn't hate looking into the mirror as much as I used to.

“ I do not look that bad. I look fine.”

“ Gracie c’mon you coming? C’mon the others are gonna leave without us!”

I smiled at my reflection wider before running off out of the room after Jaime’s voice.

“ Im coming!!”

I dont look that bad.

And now I could finally start to see that.

The end.

OOOOOOOH ITS FINALLY DONE ITS FINALLY DONE!

Ive been working on this for three months now and it was really difficult to finish. Originally it wasnt supposed to be so angsty but...it turned out really angsty at the end.

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@call-me-n0ni-chan

Tagging those I know will want to read this

I hope you all like it!!

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bastardsonofday · 6 years

Text

Im in a soft mood yall so here are some soft lucien hcs

Lucien likes when people play with his hair, but he only lets people really close to him brush it (his mother used to brush it for him, and he wants to hold that memory close to heart, so he keeps that act special for special people)

Lucien hums absently. He's not particularly a good singer, but he likes music well enough so he hums while he does stuff

Lucien knows how to play the flute but he rarely does

Lucien's favorite colors are bronze and yellow

Lucien's clothes are always hand-washed (by himself when he can) and are always extremely soft

Lucien volunteers at elderly homes and has tea with them and gossips. He grew used to listening to things he wasnt interested in during his time as Emissary and still make people think he was engaged, so he always goes to see people whose decendants dont for whatever reason and listens to them even if their stories arent interestig

He also likes to play board game with them

Lucien spends a lot of time at physical therapy centers and he volunteers as a free massuse for those who are in pain but cant afford it

He uses his magic (fire to warm the pained joints, or to suck the heat from inflamed ones; sunlight to help the person feel slightly happier and glow) to help ease them and was trained as a massage therapist previously so he knows what hes doing

He also subsidises prosthetics and other creams and lotions for rash and other issues that come along with ahve prosthetics for those who can't afford. (He uses Rhys' allowance to pay for it, because as Feyre was very Clear on in ACoFaS, Rhys is Very Rich)

Lucien also goes to pet therapy for himself #givelucienapet

Also shameless self promotion go ready Dog Eat Dog World

Lucien has clothes in the style of every court but his favorite are Night Court and Dawn Court because of how soft their natural fabrics are and he really likes the flowy-ness of Dawn

I will die on the hill of pescatarian or vegetarian lucien birdiethebibliophile convinced me in bright eyed and bushy tailed fIGHT ME

Lucien is always warm and Feyre likes to curl up next to him when they hang out cuz she's always cold

Lucien paints his fingernails and toes after Mor convinces him to do it more often (jes used to do it and he hadnt painted his nails since but one day he was feeling particularly sad and did it bc he missed her and mor flipped she loved it so mucj)

Mor likes to paint his nails to match hers so sometimes they enter meetings with matching soft light pink nails and the person theyre meeting Knows Theyre Fucked

Mor, Lucien, and Amren also trade make up tips (lucien is a nude-palette kinda guy, mor likes to blow people out of the water with either minimalist designs or full on face, and amren likes sharp smoky and scary looks)

Lucien makes Nesta a cup of her favorite tea every morning when he makes his. Neither of them mention it.

Lucien's favorite time of day is dawn (he likes the softness of the colors)

Lucien also always sleeps way past dawn so the only time he ever sees it is when he stays up all night or vassa gets him up to watch it (shes a morning person, Jurian is decidedly not)

Lucien teaches Vassa how to contour and other fun make-up tipd he's learned over time

Lucien's handwriting is neat and caligraphic

Lucien has really long, thick eyelashes

Lucien gets freckles in the sun and his hair gets lighter

Lucien doesn't burn (but all of the Archerons do)

Lucien and Jurian always touch one another when theyre withing a foot of each other, either their fingers are intertwined or one has an arm aroubd the other's shoulders or one is using the other as a footrest or resting an arm on the other's shoulder or

Lucien has inside jokes with every single Court Royal in Prythian. They call think they're the only ones with inside jokes with him like that.

Lucien sleeps with Lots Of Pillows and Blankets

Lucien still has his baby blanket his mother sent it to him after he left autumn

Lucien has a lengthly skin care regimine which is preformed every night and graciously shared with others

Lucien spends one day a year alone where he pretends that Jesminda is still alive and he talks to her all day and 'spends the day with her'

Lucien loves cuddling.... hes much like a cat: easily touch-starved (but also slightly terrified of touch from certain people-ONLY NICE HCS DIANA STAY ON TRACK-), loves cuddling (favorite is cuddle-puddles though he rarely is in them), also saps warmth from those around him because he usually feels cold despite exuding warmth to everyone around him

Lucien likes to keep his hair down, personally, but usually has to pin it up so he found a bunch of half-up half-down hairstyles to satisfy both

Lucien sleeps with his hair in braids though

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GOES STRAIGHT FROM SHOWER/BATH TO BED

Sorry just how it is, i dont make the rules

Lucien likes hot chocolate with marshmellows, milk, and sprinkles and anything subpar he wont drink

Lucien likes fruity cocktails but stomaches other ones though usually he just drinks mocktails so he can stay sober and alert while making others unaware he isnt getting wasted

Lucien likes cinnamon and cardmon

Lucien drinks warm eggnog basically every time hes in winter

Lucien's breath always smells like peppermint

Lucien spends time with horses when he has time, not necessarily riding them... just working with them, makes him feel happy (this is heavily inspired by one of my favorite fics in ao3 lately I'm Here to Kick A** by Rose_Eserede, {sorry if u have a tumblr that im not tagging u!! I dont know it!!})

Lucien loves babies. Straight up Adores them. hes a really good uncle to feysand's kids

Lucien always wanted kids but never really imagined he's have more than one--a girl. (Lucien knew what it was like to be a little boy and he never wanted to have that responsibility)

Lucien sleeps on his belly or side (if hes sharing the bed with someone, he clings to them in his sleep like a koala)

Lucien sneezes like a kitten fox

Lucien stretches and yawns like one too

Lucien reads to relax

Lucien likes the outdoors better than the indoors

#thats enough for now #add on any you have!!!!#lucien vanserra #lucien hcs #my hcs #acotar #acofas #acowar #acomaf

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!

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not-close-to-straight · 6 years

Note

Post surgery update? How are you? Still in pain?

(Warning, this will get the tiniest bit graphic- mind the cut))

Alright, surgery update---

I will be three weeks post op this coming monday and it has been the worst three weeks ever.

I still cant stand up straight, really I cant even get CLOSE to standing up straight yet unless I am laced into a corset/compression garment that forces me almost upright, and then it fucking HURTS.

I am still sleeping on a recliner because not only can i not stand up straight, i also cant lie flat! very fun! My neck and back hurt CONSTANTLY from sleeping in the recliner, and I can only make it to and from the bathroom and maybe to the kitchen to make some tea before it starts hurting too badly and i have to sit down.

All of my steri strips have come off, which means i can finally see my incisions. I am cut from hipbone to hipbone, but for the most part the incision is below my bikini line so once I am healed, I will be able to wear bathing suits/undies still without anyone seeing the scar as long as they arent like ultra low rise panties or anything. Ive already developed hard scar tissue where my drains were inserted on both sides of my hip, so thats fun. Nice and bruised and hard right there.

I ended up twisting wrong and my incision opened up about an inch which isnt as bad as it sounds, it didnt spit any stitches or anything, but it hurts like a really deep scratch and other than putting a band aid on it, there isnt much I can do about it until it heals.

My boobs were cut under the crease and then straight up the middle and around my nipple to give me my reduction/ lift. It sucks. My left boob looks freaking BEAUTIFUL the incision is all the way inside the crease so you literally cant see it at all, and even the cuts up and around my nipple are healing wonderfully. My right side is worse, incision extends out past my crease a little which makes it very uncomfortable and the incisions up and around my nipple are still raised and sore.

EVERYTHING ITCHES and i ended up scratching myself so badly one night as I slept that i ended up drawing blood which has been just... awful to deal with. Everything is super sensitive, and because i am still wearing post surgery compression garments to keep any swelling down, i am basically strapped into the most uncomfortable things ever.

I had an issue with the blood thinner shot they gave me, ended up with SIRVA in my left arm which rendered it basically paralyzed for the first two weeks, its only been the last few days that i can even move it without it hurting and freezing up. Fun times.

My gag reflex is very sensitive right now, so almost any time i try to swallow a tylenol or muscle relaxer or stool softener (try pooping after stomach surgery. literally will put you in tears), my gag reflex kicks in and more often than not i end up throwing up. which of course makes me cry.

Overall, its been a really rough recovery and im only on week three. It will be at least three more weeks before i am able to stand straight and walk comfortably for more than a minute or so at a time, and another four to six weeks after that before I can do anything more than walk for exercise. I cant even pick up #Misha the Cat right now because her fat ass weighs too much and my stomach cant handle the strain.

The PLUS SIDE is that my boobs which used to be huge and saggy are like, perky and gorgeous. I am still bigger than I thought I would be-- I was honestly hoping to be like a c cup, and Im still at least a d if not bigger (my post surgery sports bras are for dds and i am filling them out) but its a very perky d or dd so right now I sort of look like I have implants which ill admit is a little fun. They will settle more and look more natural over the next few weeks which is good.

Since the pain pills never really worked, all they do is take the edge off, so I still hurt every day but its bearable. Honestly after those first few days before they got me a stronger pain prescription and i was feeling EVERYTHING---- what i feel now is barely anything. The worst pain is when i have to throw up or god forbid i fucking sneeze because that literally makes me scream.

im exhausted all the time now-- the first two weeks i hardly ate anything because i was either crying from the pain or trying to sleep it off, and the post surgery compression garments are so tight even too much water at once made my stomach hurt. My appetite has just barely come back this week, and im still barely managing a full meal a day.

Also, Im allowed to shower, but the water makes me itch (of fucking course) and after the shower i have to apply layers of scar cream and cocoa butter because the drier my skin is the worse the healing it and the worse the scar will be. I basically just sponge bath with wet wipes or a damp rag because getting in and out of all of my compression garments and in and out of the shower requires so much energy it honestly doesnt seem worth it. Like little things like brushing my teeth seem difficult because i cant stand up to do it-- have to be sitting on the toilet lol. And brushing my hair? Yeah right. I have super thick, fairly long curly hair that is a pain in the ass to handle anyway, and now that i cant really lift my arms above my head, just combing my hair is crazy difficult.

Its been super rough on me, harder than I thought it would be, but my plastic surgeon is very pleased with the results so far.

A big piece of me wishes I wasnt so vain to want the stomach surgery. the boob surgery was sort of necessary, i was way too big for being a size 4/6, but I got my stomach done because I worked so hard to lose all that weight and wanted all the loose skin gone, but DAMN this recovery has been such a bitch i think if i could go back, i wouldnt do it again. Not only did it cost me more than 10k, but im three weeks out and still cant even stand up straight which is more demoralizing than you would ever think it would be.

Mentally its been very difficult on me, emotionally its been worse, and even though I know it will be worth it here in a few months when I pull out that leopard print bikini i worked so hard to fit into and look FUCKINGFABULOUS---

Right now, I just want to cry all the time.

(also, its been more than a month since ive had anything that came close to sex, which is probably majorly contributing to how badly i want to write smut and also why i want to cry all the time lol)

All this to say--- recovery is rough. All the good vibes are appreciated.

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