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wren-kitchens · 4 months

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we’re not bruised; they’re just party tattoos

2716 words CW: alcohol

scott is far too drunk to be making rational decisions. he knows this just as he knows that he probably should have switched from wine to water about an hour ago; as he knows that a game of spin the bottle is a very, very stupid idea right now. however, he knows all these things rationally, and scott has long since decided that he is going to ignore all rational thought and deeply regret everything tomorrow morning, hand in hand with whatever abysmal hangover is going to follow. so rather than acting logical or rational or like someone who wants to survive until the next morning, scott plonks himself down directly next to tango in the circle of his equally drunk friends, sitting close enough that their shoulders brush. it’s new years, okay, they’re allowed to be stupid; resolutions start tomorrow, not tonight.

this was meant to be posted on new year’s day. yeah I gotta stop expecting deadlines to work but hey we can pretend it’s a valentine’s day gift!

if you enjoyed, please reblog!

scott is far too drunk to be making good decisions.

he knows this just as he knows that he probably should have switched from wine to water about an hour ago; as he knows that a game of spin the bottle is a very, very stupid idea right now. however, he knows all these things rationally, and scott has long since decided that he is going to ignore all rational thought and deeply regret everything tomorrow morning, hand in hand with whatever abysmal hangover is going to follow.

so rather than acting logical or rational or like someone who wants to survive until the next morning, scott plonks himself down directly next to tango in the circle of his equally drunk friends, sitting close enough that their shoulders brush. it’s new years, okay, they’re allowed to be stupid; resolutions start tomorrow, not tonight.

the smart people in their group stopped drinking after they got tipsy, and so now they’re all being babysat by an amused pixl, a somewhat concerned xisuma and a deeply smug cleo. scott is fairly certain she only stopped drinking so they’d have a crystal clear memory of the fuckups they will all inevitably cause and so will be reminded of for the rest of their lives. the smart people, however, are the vast minority of the party, and so the world right now is chaos incarnate.

gem and scar have been giggling about the least humorous topics scott has ever heard—which includes the shape of the wine bottle that is positioned in the middle of the circle. grian has been extraordinarily bold for the entire night, and is actually flirting with mumbo, who seems equally enamoured and embarrassed by it all. scar whoops from across the circle each time grian manages to get mumbo to blush. lizzie has been flirting with joel idly, and seems to be entirely unaware of how flustered joel is getting—much to everyone’s amusement.

“are we spinning or what!” pearl yells over the commotion. unfortunately for scott, she is still leaning on his shoulder, and has very literally just yelled into his ear.

“yeah we are!” scott shouts back, and pearl shrieks with laughter, pushing him away. scott cackles and pushes her back.

the next few minutes is a blur of too-loud laughter and squeals through a haze of drunken grins. scott manages to make out joel and jimmy being overly dramatic about the smallest peck of the lips, the entire room screaming as mumbo and grian kiss for much longer than is strictly necessary—and then a very flustered mumbo and grian scurrying out of the room, presumably to finish making out in private—and cleo being eventually dragged in to kiss a grinning lizzie, to the mock-devastation of joel.

scott whoops along with everyone else as the bottle lands on him, watching with anticipation as the bottle spins a full three-sixty. except- it doesn’t spin a full 360, because it instead lands on.. tango.

and this is the second of the abysmal decisions scott makes. because instead of giving tango a brief peck on the lips and playing it off like a joke, scott’s idiotic, drunken brain decides that he may as well put some effort in. after all, if he’s only ever gonna kiss tango once, he wants it to be worth it.

“come on tango!” scott is laughing, watching for any minuscule sign of discomfort or apprehension from tango. there is none.

tango is grinning along, leaning forward into scott’s space. “well, I hope you live up to your reputation.” he winks, and it’s like he’s just set fire to scott’s brain.

scott grabs the collar of tango’s shirt, leaning in until their noses brush. “you’ll have to be the judge of that.”

the first thing scott registers is that tango’s lips are soft. like- really soft. he’d kind of assumed his lips would be almost harsh and rough, because of his netherborne roots, but void, he was mistaken. after this, scott is gonna ask what kind of skincare routine tango has.

except- he doesn’t really get a chance to, because tango nips a little at scott’s lower lip, and suddenly every intelligent thought is wiped from his mind. tango’s teeth, it seems, are just as sharp as they look. well, two can play at that game.

something in scott’s stomach ignites as he runs his own teeth over tango’s lip and hears the half-stifled gasp he elicits. scott suppresses the urge to smile, and instead slides his hand from tango’s cheek into his hair and grips it, relishing the heat that has begun to emanate from tango’s body.

scott is grinning when the whistles and shrieks from the group pulls the two apart, deeply satisfied to see the way tango’s catlike pupils have enlarged. “so? how’d I do?”

it takes tango a second to gather himself, and scott’s grin slips into a smirk. oh, he could get used to this.

“so-so.” tango shrugs, clearly attempting a nonchalant tone, but the way his eyes keep darting back to scott’s lips tells another story.

scott cackles regardless. “well then, I guess i’ll have to practice.”

with a rush of warmth through his chest, scott watches as tango budges closer to skizz and mutters to him, “I volunteer as tribute.”

“i’m not complaining.” scott says just loud enough for tango to hear, if only to watch the way tango’s eyes widen in panic as he realises scott overheard him. he winks teasingly, and turns back to the chaos, where grian and mumbo have just come back.

to his own surprise, scott finds himself zoning out, even as gem and pearl decide that they can’t be bothered to wait for the bottle to choose and instead make out in the middle of the circle. although, scott does make a mental note to make fun of pearl about this at any given opportunity—most likely after she makes fun of him for how intense his and tango’s kiss ended up being.

but- embarrassingly, all he can think of is tango’s lips. because- okay, seriously, tango is a good kisser—which- scott really should have thought about that—and it’d be one thing if scott was just enjoying the kiss, but- it definitely is not. the kiss was not so good that it warrants this level of thinking about it, and scott really doesn’t know why he even decided to actually kiss tango in the first place. like- does he even have any self restraint anymore?

wow, scott can’t believe he actually asked that when the answer is so obvious: no, he really doesn’t.

-—

unfortunately for tango, drinking is not doing one of its best jobs of making him forget everything about himself—more specifically, the kiss. in fact, he seems to be unable to focus on anything but, which is getting increasingly more embarrassing. if you couldn’t already tell, tango was absolutely lying when he said scott didn’t live up to his reputation. rather, he surpassed it by far, which is proving to be extraordinarily inconvenient if tango wants to get through this night without doing something stupid. again.

but of course, stupid is his middle name; literally (he lost a bet, don’t ask), so the plan of ‘don’t make an entire fool out of himself’ is going to be a lot harder to manage than it probably ought to be. especially if scott doesn’t stop looking at him like that.

“you thinking about something or just enjoying the view?” tango calls, foolishly, to scott. they’ve been out on the balcony of whoever’s house this is (he forgot sometime around when he kissed scott) for about ten minutes, intentionally avoiding each other’s eyes. scott, however, has apparently given up on this and has been gazing absentmindedly at tango for at least a minute.

scott gives a crooked grin, and tango so desperately wants to kiss it off his face. “why can’t I do both?”

tango scrambles for something equally witty to say as scott stands and moves over to him, something akin to curiosity in his eyes. “you know, you are unfairly pretty.”

if tango was speechless before, he’s entirely hopeless now. “you- I- I am?”

“wh- I mean come on,” scott brushes a loose hair out of tango’s eyes, tracing his fingers down his jaw. yeah, okay, tango has officially lost his mind. “you’re like a- a painting.”

well, if scott’s allowed to flirt with him, tango isn’t gonna take it lying down.

“there you go again.” tango takes scott’s hand in his own, pressing a delicate kiss to his knuckles. he watches with the utmost fascination as scott’s cheeks turn the faintest shade of red at the action. “i’ve never met anyone so much like a siren as you, scott.”

scott raises an eyebrow, and tango follows the action with his eyes. “a siren, huh?” he says, rubbing a thumb across tango’s hand. “why is that?”

tango gives the ghost of a smirk, watching as scott’s eyes flit to his lips. “you do this- this whole song and dance, you make me swoon, and then you’re gone.” he moves closer. “it’s like chasing wind with you.”

“come on.” scott gives a little breathy laugh, and tango’s mind reels as he realises he’s managed to fluster him. oh man, tango could get used to this. “you can catch me, if you try.”

“i’ve seen this all before.” tango tilts his head ever so slightly. “with jimmy, with pixl, with martyn.” he rests a hand on scott’s waist, heart leaping at the poorly stifled gasp scott gives as he does so. “I don’t know what to think with you.”

“i’ll tell you then,” scott says, and the flirtatious note in his voice is suddenly gone, replaced by an almost devastating honesty. “I have wanted you for a very long time, and i think this party might be the tipping point into insanity for me, because you look- you look like that, and you kissed me, and now you’re flirting back which is something i’ve never been able to handle.”

tango feels his mouth twitch into a grin. “well, i’ll tell you what, it’s amazing to be on the opposite end of all this.” he rubs his thumb against scott’s waist deliberately, smile widening ever so slightly as scott practically pouts at him. “don’t give me that look, I never get to be the flirty one.”

“it- it suits you.” scott says, and he’s breathless, and tango might also be going insane now he comes to think of it. “i’m- y’know, i’m perfectly happy to pretend this was all a series of drunken mistakes if-“

before scott can continue, tango once again lives up to his recently appointed middle name, and kisses him.

scott kisses back almost immediately, and tango finds himself leaning further into him as scott’s hands move to his hair and waist. tango, apparently, did not think this through, because last time his brain was reduced to mush without the insane knowledge that scott likes him back, which he’s still having a hard time processing. so when scott deepens the kiss, tango feels as if he may explode, and when scott nips ever so delicately at his bottom lip, tango melts.

it registers distantly in tango’s puddle of a brain that scott has managed to pin him against the wall as they’ve been kissing, and that at some point, he’s going to need some air. tango bites scott’s lip, relishing in the half stifled groan and shudder he elicits, and allows himself to forget about trivial things like breathing.

after a moment though, tango’s lungs begin to burn and they break apart, panting. tango is grinning, and scott’s bottom lip is bleeding, and tango probably should have remembered about his fangs.

“I would- I would very much appreciate if you didn’t pretend that was a mistake.” tango manages, and scott’s eyes glint.

“I wouldn’t dare.” he practically purrs, his breath hot against tango’s face.

there’s a explosion of noise from inside—loud enough for them to hear at a significant volume even outside. tango smirks at scott. “do you think they’ll miss us if we stay out here a little longer?”

scott’s lips twitch into a grin, leaning in so his nose brushes tango’s. “I think we have enough time for another round before they come looking.”

“let’s not waste it.” tango says, closing the gap.

—-

scott wakes up under an unfamiliar blanket, laying on what he’s fairly certain is not his own bed, where everything seems to smell like tango. he has no idea where he is and he doesn’t remember how he ended up here, which may not be the best sign. when he shifts in order to survey his surroundings, it takes a moment for him to realise that he hasn’t just been smashed in the head with an axe and that this is, in fact, the consequences of the far too much alcohol he had the night before.

he blinks against the faint light of the sun peeking through the cracks in the curtains and finds himself in a bedroom that is unmistakably tango’s. that explains why it smells like him, scott supposes.

before scott can fully take advantage of this (shoving his nose into the duvet for as long as he can get away with), a wonderfully familiar voice interrupts his train of thought.

“y’know, you’re even beautiful when you’re asleep. are you like- magic or something?”

scott sits up with great effort, smiling sleepily as he sees tango with two trays of what looks like cooked breakfast. “hey darling.”

tango blushes, laughing softly. “void, i’m never gonna get used to that.” he slides into bed next to scott, handing him his tray as he does.

“well, get used to it.” scott budges closer, pressing a kiss to tango’s cheek before tucking into his breakfast. “oh, you’re an angel.” he says through a mouthful of eggs.

tango is leaning against him. “did we talk about what we are now and I forgot, or did we just make out?”

scott snorts. “I think the latter.” he admits, gesturing to a distinctly bruise-ish looking mark on tango’s neck with his fork. “I did good work.” he says absentmindedly, laughing as a flustered tango elbows him.

“shut up, you look like you got attacked by a horny vampire.” tango says, and scott cackles. “oh- don’t make fun of me, i made you breakfast.”

“I think you just called yourself a horny vampire, love.” scott grins. “but do you wanna talk about what we are?”

tango shrugs in a way that very clearly means ‘yes but I don’t want to come off as clingy’. wow, scott can read him better than he thought. “I mean, what do you want us to be?”

“I personally want you to be my husband, but we gotta do the middle step before we can get there.” scott says simply, and tango looks like he’s just almost choked on his toast. “see, i’m far more clingy than you could ever be, dear.” he winks.

“I want you to be my partner.” tango says, a little nervous, as if scott was ever gonna say anything other than yes.

“then i’m yours.” scott presses a kiss to the corner of tango’s mouth. “I mean, I was yours the second you started wanting me, but I may as well make it official.” he grins at tango’s bewildered expression. “listen, i’ve loved you for a long time.”

tango gives a flustered little huff, grinning almost shyly. “you’re a fuckin’ siren, I was right about that.”

“i’m just being honest.” scott teases, but he can’t quite stop the blush rising on his cheeks. “besides, i’ve been wanting to say all this for a while now, so i’m not gonna shut up anytime soon.” a smirk slips onto his face. “unless you find a way to make me.”

tango rolls his eyes, but he looks extremely tempted. “it’s too early to make out with you. at least give me time to brush my teeth.”

“i’ll grant you that.” scott smiles, leaning closer to tango in order to press a kiss to his cheek. “but only because I love you.”

tango smiles, looking completely smitten. “I love you too.”

#tumblr formatting is hell #the staff really said ‘how do we make this the most ergonomic’ and then did the opposite #emberfrost #snowbugs #scott x tango #trafficblr #trafficshipping #scott smajor #tangotek #wren writes #alcohol mention

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raestarz · 11 months

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Rookie Hour

Chapter Six - Mixed Emotions.

A/N: Eat this up, y'all because this is great and I love every part of this. Let me know if you guys would want me to switch between Leon and Kyaire's POV's every chapter.

Word Count: 2k To my loves who've been supporting me from the beginning, this is for y'all... @mrmidnight6 @neteyamsmunch

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I stared at the body of…what was his name again? Right, Ben…God, poor guy he didn’t deserve to die. I shuddered, my mind raced with thoughts. What was that thing that killed him? Is it gonna be after us next? How’re me and Leon gonna survive against that thing? Jesus fuck, Leon called out for my name.

“Kyaire?” He asked, grabbing my shoulder gently, I snapped back to reality and looked at him. His face was concerned and soft whenever he looked at me, he was so caring, constantly looking for the best in people when I saw and knew the worst. We were complete opposites but we fit together so well. I stared into his eyes for a long time feeling myself getting lost in them, they were such a soft blue but full of life and hope. I wanted to protect him despite him being two years my senior, I felt the need to protect him. God what the fuck? Why is my heart racing? Whatever I need to answer him.

“Yeah, Leon?” I answered trying to give him a small smile despite our circumstances and well trying not to glance at the obvious dead body on the floor. He knew everything wasn’t fine or that I wasn’t based on the way he frowned slightly. “I’m here if you need me, okay?” He offered giving my shoulder a light squeeze, and if I wasn’t black I’d be blushing red as fuck, but luckily I’m black so thank God. I could just feel my face heat up, I must be sick or something I dunno. I nod at his offer before looking down the hall.

“We gotta keep going,” I mutter and notice a red handle bar to the side on a table going over to it then grabbing it. This’ll be useful later, I put it into my pouch which somehow holds so much shit. I glanced at Leon and he looked deep in thought, I figured he’d tell me later and I saw a printed out memo talking about the power panel. I glance over at it near the jail cell putting two and two together, realizing we need custom power panels to power it and get that parking pass. Which are in the generator room, which is…fuck. Where the fuck are they? I groan internally shifting my feet, “We need to find the generator room.” I say outloud to Leon and hear his boots come over gently, taking the memo out of my hands. I watch as he reads over it as well, after a few silent beats and me paranoidly listening out for zombies or whatever the hell killed Ben from earlier.

“There’s one in the generator room and one in the clock tower, you think we should split up and go get them?” He speaks up, giving me a small smile, I shake my head. “Leon, this is not a horror movie we’re sticking together.” I stated giving him an eye roll, he gave me a small laugh and nodded. “You have a fair point, we’re better together.” He says, and for some reason my stomach does a somersault and my heart flutters. I shook my head giving him a small smile trying to shake whatever nerves he just gave me, “Lead the way then, rookie.” I teased and he nudged me with his shoulder gently before walking ahead of me.

We walked down the corridor and out of the jail area, back to the parking garage. Heading over to the next door with the green light figuring that since it wasn’t red it was unlocked, and right we were. Look at us two: a rookie cop and a civilian who hated cops, working together against the odds. Who knew? As we made our way inside Leon and I both clicked our flashlights in unison, I laughed under my breath at how in sync we were now. It was like when I moved, he moved and vice versa. We went straight down the hall to the firing range, Leon grabbed a tin storage box, opened it and took out a bent car key I snorted at the sight.

“Hey, maybe it has some use.” He replied to my snort giving me a brazen smile, I rolled my eyes in response, laughing softly. “Well, let’s hope it does.” We go further into the shooting range going past a door that requires a diamond key to open it, which we unfortunately didn’t have. Going into the part of where you shoot the target’s in the shooting range, I walk over spotting the shotgun shells near an officer's body which gets up and grabs me before I can react.

“Ky!” Leon shouted and suddenly I heard a ringing in my ears, I let out a small groan as I realized that the zombie that had grabbed me was on the floor dead and its head popped. I still heard ringing and turned to face Leon, it looked like he was talking to me when he ran over to me holding my shoulders. Holy shit, he’s pretty, his lips were just so kissable. I wanted to lean in and suddenly I was for a moment till I heard Leon’s voice again, “Kyaire? What’re you doing?” He asked softly, and I took a step back blinking fast and hard. There’s no way in hell I almost kissed him, no, no…But I had to respond to his question, but I also wished that the zombie that grabbed me had bitten me. Because I have never been so embarrassed in my fucking life! Oh my fucking God this is more embarrassing then the time I got caught sneaking out by Sherry, and she made me play teatime with her.

Suddenly hearing another zombie shift and rise, I pull myself out of his grasp taking out my multi shot handgun putting the fucker down as it’s head bursts. I turn and look at Leon, his eyes meet mine, and I’m absolutely mesmerized by him again. I need to stand up because there’s no way in hell I’m acting like this over a white man. But Jesus, Mary, and Joseph the way he makes me feel is insane. Do I like him romantically? No! No, no, no…We’re just friends not even strangers who are becoming friends from a shared trauma experience. I shake my head snapping out of it.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” I suggest my heart racing and I walk past him not waiting for a response he lets out a small huff following after me.

We take a right going down the hall hearing a small howl and reaching the kennel. I grimaced wondering if there were more zombie dogs in there. I handed him the box of shotguns I picked up earlier silently, he whispered a small ‘Thank you’ and I nodded in acknowledgement. We went into the kennel, dogs immediately attacking us and we shot them quickly as they came. The silence between us was strong and so was the tension, plus me avoiding what happened didn’t help or add on to the stress from the apocalypse. We, I mean me, didn’t need adding probable feelings or emotions into this already shit show of a situation.

As we got through the kennel going to the back hallway my urge to speak grew so much more, but I still had that fucking embarrassment from earlier. What if he finds me I dunno like a sister to him? That’s not possible. I turn twenty in three weeks and a day, God I hope he doesn’t think I’m weird or grotesque to him. I groan internally and bang my head against my hand silently, God I’m so fucking stupid why, why, why God! Any other time! It’s fine, it’s cool I don’t like him romantically. We go into the morgue and open the dead body rollers until we find the diamond key, I let out a small breath and see the zombie lunge at me luckily I was able to dodge out of the way and shoot the zombie in its head. I pocket the diamond key and sigh, Leon clears his throat and I manage to pull my eyes to his. The silence between us is deafening.

I lean against the wall and look at him, I prop myself up with my foot. He stares back at me, trying to give me a small smile, Leon opens his mouth as if he’s about to speak and then closes it.

“What is it, Leon?” I ask in a harsh tone which is never what I never meant it to sound like and he flinches slightly, “Sorry,” I mutter and look down at the floor. I honestly feel like shit, I feel like I’m losing a piece of me which is so unnerving. I only met him a couple of hours ago but the attachment I have to him is startling. This isn’t normal. I take a deep breath and my eyes meet his blue ones again. His eyes are swimming with so many emotions and I honestly don’t know what to say or do.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I just…I hate this silence between us, is there something wrong?” He asked his voice soft and low, but his eyes glanced at the door into the morgue every so often. I feel like my chest is tightening and I can’t breathe, I let out a small breath. I lick my lips, why do I feel like this? This isn’t fair. I hate it here. I hate how I feel. I hate everything right now. I close my eyes and sigh before thinking things through.

“I’m just overthinking things, which is something I unfortunately do…” I mutter and run my hands over my face, I realize I can’t just say that and leave it at that. “I’m just tired of this situation and the constant fucking puzzles.” I sigh and look at Leon, his eyes are so understanding and suddenly I feel guilty for lying but it was technically the truth. He held his arms out for me to hug him and I took two long strides over to him, letting him hug me and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when he put his head on top of mine. Leon rubbed my back gently and held me as long as I needed him to, the feeling of his warmth when his arms wrapped around me is parallel to the feeling of taking that first warm sip of hot cocoa. Weird comparison but he was just that warm, I nuzzled my face into his shoulder taking a deep breath. His musk was nice but the cologne he was wearing was nice. It was a refreshing smell better than rotting flesh, I slowly pulled out of the hug and he held my face in his hands.

God I want him to kiss me. Shit, do I have feelings for him? Nah, I don’t…I’m just tripping.

Right?

Right.

As he held my face in his hands, he gave me the sweetest smile ever and I felt myself melting, this is not how I should feel and I wanna run away but I’m staying because we need each other but I’m not gonna say that. “Are we okay…?” He asked softly, and I wished and prayed to God none of these zombie fuckers existed because this would be so romantic. But it’s not! Cause I’m not into him, ok guys? I’m really truly not. Everything is fine and great.

“We’re okay,” I whispered and he caressed my cheek with his thumb. I smiled back at him. Leon takes his hands off my cheeks and we leave out of the morgue heading down the hall till we reach a closed shutter and I take out the handlebar from earlier, putting it into the hole that perfectly fits it, turning it till it opens. Leon lets out a low whistle, “Well, aren’t you strong?” He teased with a smile, I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, you’re the one with all the muscles.” I state with a laugh and we go up the stairs to the right finding the generator room. I grab the orange box sitting on top of a stool prying it open and finding one of the electrical parts we needed. “Well, one out of two…That’s fantastic.” I laugh softly, my eyes meeting Leon’s happily. God, I hate how good he makes me feel.

I don’t like him…Right?

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #re2 leon #black writers #leon x reader #blk reader #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic #leon resident evil #resident evil remake #re2 remake #resident evil 2 #resident evil 2 remake #leon kennedy fluff

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talltoontales · 6 days

Text

Don't Tapping the Glass!

Prompt: ANGER

Prompt by: Me

Started Writing: 05/31/2024

[WARNING: Heavy Feelings]

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Another one of those days.

I pull into the driveway after another long day at my minimum-wage job. Stuff left unfinished, customers & co-workers left pissed, and so many more problems left to solve.

“Put it behind you.” “Leave work at work.”

If I could, I would have by now, but…I dunno. I’m just not built like that. I pull out my phone and open up the manager's group chat. Where I spend the next thirty minutes texting, reliving the horribly eventful day in several large text blocks. Making sure the opening crew has a chance for a better morning. I look back on my day with a microscope to make sure I didn’t overlook any missed task, irate customer, or time-consuming task. Surprise! Surprise! This doesn’t make me feel any better.

You’d think after I’d send the text it would be over, heh. Nope, now I have to look at tomorrow and plan for all the problems that it’ll bring. I end up just slumped in my car, going through all of the worst possible futures and how to prevent them.

“Why do you work so hard for a terrible job?” “They don’t deserve real estate in your head.”

On my better days, I’d joke, saying something like, “I gotta switch, not a dial. It’s either one hundred percent or zero.” But I haven’t had too many “better” days for a while now. In all honesty, when I go to work, I go to work, I feel bad getting paid to just stand around and do nothing, even if I barely get paid. Plus, my associates deserve at least one good boss or one who tries to be good. I finally drag myself out of my car and make my way to the front door.

-Doctor’s appointments, car payments, school, family, friends (or lack thereof), groceries-

It’s amazing how, in the span of just under a minute, the human mind can speed-run through all of my problems, worries, and frustrations.

I get to the dimly lit front door, and I just stare at it.

-Laundry, cooking, dishes, self-care, all those shows I wanted to watch, reading, writing, having a proper sleep schedule-

Just more problems that other people don’t see as problems. I go inside, hang up my keys, grab another canned meal, and eat while watching a video on my phone—until I get a call from my mom.

Give her credit, she knows her son. Always calling just to make sure I’m ok, and like always, I lie and say I’m fine. She knows I’m lying, but what can she do? She talks about her day, and my brain does its job.

-She’s overworking herself, family problems, dad in his own world…again. I should spend more time with them-

The call never lasts too long unless I make it, and I never do. I can’t, I have to be back at work soon.

Teeth brushed, face washed, don’t smell, time for…lying awake in silence and being left alone with my thoughts.

// // // // // // // // // //

I don’t know, or I can’t really remember the last time I was happy. Like I said, I had better days, and I’ll probably have better days in the future, but I want to be happy. I don’t want to feel like I have to survive the next day, and I don’t want to see just all the problems I can't fix. I think back through my life, trying to find where I went wrong.

Maybe it wasn’t my fault, maybe I could have fixed it, had a better life, a life that would have made me happy. A life where I could deal with my problems like a functioning adult. A life where I don’t feel alone even in a room full of people who love me and want me to succeed.

But I know there’s nothing I can do now, just like there was nothing I could have done then. All I’m doing is fixing problems that were never meant to be fixed. Then why am I doing it? Why do I keep going through life, past, present, and future, looking for problems? Why do I keep doing this to myself?

\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

For the past few years, anytime I get angry, and I mean “nearing the breaking point,” angry, I have what I can only describe as a waking dream.

I’m walking down concrete steps into a cold, dark, basement-type room. Once I reach the bottom, a light turns on revealing a glass wall splitting the room in half. On the other side of the wall, is dim light. The other side of the room is covered in shredded paper with writing on it, the walls have deep scratches in them, and the glass is covered in smudges as if someone was wiping their hands against it.

There’s no one on the other side of the glass, no doors or windows to enter or escape from, just me. I look along the glass, seeing cracks in the wall where it meets the glass. I put a hand on the glass, it feels hot. Not enough to be painful but far from comfortable. I look closer at the paper on the ground, and some of it looks scrunched up like it was covered in water at some point. Both lights flicker off for a second. Once they’re back on, the smudges on the glass move, now looking like someone was dragging their hand towards me.

It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s behind the glass or what IT wants. It doesn’t care whose fault it is or why I’m here, it just wants to be free to do its job. But it knows I won’t let it. it knows that I fear what it could become if I let it out. I felt the glass push against my hand as if pressure was building on the other side, but it doesn’t phase me. As I walk away, I hear frantic thumping as it wails on the glass. Once, I get to the stairs I turn around for one last look, and scratched into the walls hundreds of times over is the same word:

!!!YELL!!!

It’s not a threat or an order. It’s a plea. It took me years and one mental breakdown to understand what I’ve done and what I still do to this day. Maybe I should give myself more credit. Maybe it would be okay if only for a while. Maybe it was always my fault I felt this way. But then, what would happen to me if I let it out? Could I forgive myself for what I’ve done?

...

I walk up the stairs. The banging continues but fades as I leave, only the faint sound of crying can be heard as I reach the final steps. At the end of all of that, I wake up. I don’t feel better, I just feel numb, but it’s better than walking around angry.

. . . . . . . . . .

Hey... So, peek behind the curtain time. If you haven't guessed, I'm not in the best place emotionally. If it helps, I'm not as bad as I used to be. So, progress! I've never felt in control of my life, and what little I do have control over never feels like it matters. Some days I just feel like I'm just floating through life, never making an impact on anyone or anything. Does wonders for my self-worth. And before anyone says anything, I know packing that stuff down is not even slightly healthy for me, but I've just never felt like I was in a safe enough space to unpack any of it. But I wanted to try anyway. so I wrote this. Didn't feel great putting my emotional baggage out on the curb for anyone to look at, but...I'm just tired of all of this just being in my head.

Aaaaaaaaanyway, Thanks for reading, and I hope you...enjoyed the story. If you have any comments, critiques, or criticisms, please don't be afraid to let me hear 'em (as long as they're constructive). Also, if you have some spare time, check out my blog for more stories like the one above. Stay safe, drink plenty of water, and, now more than ever, be kind to yourself and others. We all could use more kindness in the world. See you next time.

#serious post #writeblr #nonfiction #depressing shit #i'm sorry #What a fun way to end May #writing #writerscommunity #writing blog #depresion #therapy #anger issues #writers on tumblr #guilt #writing community #writers #creative writing #writer community

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gamesception · 11 months

Text

Done with Utena for now, but I had fun trying to post something near daily and would like to try to keep that up. Given my track record I'll likely not get very far, but I didn't think I'd finish the rgu read, so who knows. I've got a few ideas, but I also have to take like a week to get out from under the minis-painting commission, so in the mean time why not a poll to see which idea I should go with? explanations under the cut:

Cass Cain project: Cassandra Cain was my favorite comic book superhero, and DC bungling her character back in the day was what got me out of comics altogether. She has since been revived as a new character after a reboot or two, but while I tried I was never quite able to get back into the later version of her, and around the time of the Birds of Prey movie I started a project looking back at her comic appearances more or less in order to try and put into words what I liked about the character back in the day and why later reinterpretations of the character didn't quite hit that same note, for me at least. I put it on intermission at some point and promised to come back with a look at the 'Shadow of the Batgirl' graphic novel, but that book was too long for the too little I had to say about it, so I never did finish that post and the project stalled out. I have thought on and off about dusting the project off and starting it up again. Now might be a good time to do so.

Dark Souls: I've played Dark Souls before. I had a lot of fun with it, and for a while watched a lot of lore & cut content videos. One of the bits of cut content that really stood out to me was Oscar, Knight of Astora. In game he's the nameless knight that drops the key to you at the start of the Undead Asylum, and later gives you the estus flask before dying, but until relatively late in development he was supposed to survive the asylum and appear repeatedly in the main game, following a sort of parallel path to yours. Ever since hearing about this cut npc quest line, I've kind of wanted to recreate it by naming a new character after Oscar, collecting all his gear early, and then using co-op and pvp features to play out Oscar's narrative in the games of random players online, helping early on before becoming a rival and invader later.

Morrowind: I never did beat Morrowind - just played it until I had completely broken the game by accident (through bartering if you'd believe it) and sort of lost interest after that. The game's a classic that deserves a better run than that.

Fallout: New Vegas: Another project I started but failed to finish, multiple times over. But maybe third time's the charm for Bethany? I had a lot of fun with New Vegas but the liveblog got bogged down because I ended up playing too far ahead. If I just post thoughts or updates to where I am currently instead of trying to create a continuous narrative of the entire run that shouldn't happen.

Hollow Knight: I've done all the Hollow Knight Achievements on both Switch and Playstation, but on PC my record's sitting at a shameful 83%. Gotta fix that, plus I kind of want to replay it again before the release of the sequel, which I'm still thinking will be later this year.

Cyberpunk/Nier/Sekiro/Disco: Nothing much to say about these, just some games I heard were good and bought on steam that I haven't gotten around to playing yet. At least, not more than just the intro/tutorials.

#which idea i ~should~ go with #not necessarily ~will~#this is a non-binding opinion poll #suggestions not on the list also accepted

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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Boyfriend’s Best Friend - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader (ft. Kirishima)

Warnings: CRACK, Fluff, Cursing, Frisky moments

Summary: This was not how Bakugou wanted to spend his weekend. Trapped inside his best friend’s body?! Hell no. What makes it worse is that before he can tell you, you’ve already smothered Kirishima (who is in Katsuki’s body) with more than enough attention. Attention that belongs to the angry Pomeranian. And what does Kirishima think about all of this? Fuck nitroglycerin and boners.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This shit is gonna get real confusing so KEEP UP and STAY FOCUSED

“Shit.”

After fighting off that petty thief on their way back to school, the two best friends took a look at each other after feeling a throb in their heads. But something wasn’t right. Bakugou was looking at..Bakugou and Kirishima was looking at...Kirishima???

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!” The red blonde headed boy asked. Kirishima made a face at his now very deep and gruff voice. He looked down and noticed his tan skin was the slightest bit paler and his clothes had changed. He turned his gaze towards the position where is best friend should be but only saw..well, himself.

“Argh, shut the hell up Shitty Hair. My head is pounding.” Bakugou said while holding onto his now red hair. He looked towards his friend to see a frantic look on his face. “Quit making me look like a bitch, Kirishima.”

“I can’t help it!! Not after what just happened!!” Kirishima said. Bakugou rolled his eyes and huffed before walking over to his friend and dragging him to a reflective window.

“We switched bodies you idiot. That damn thief must’ve hit us while we were distracted.” Bakugou took a look at his new body and cringed. Not that he thought Kirishima was ugly or anything, but he wanted to be in his own body. It just felt wrong having someone else’s dick.

“Well then we should get back to the dorms and find Mr. Aizawa. Maybe he can help.” Bakugou agreed and the boys started their journey back to the dormitory. As they walked, they took notice of a few things.

“Ugh. All these damn extras are staring at my hair.”

“My palms feel so sweaty.”

“Fuck! I keep biting my inner cheek. Stupid shark teeth.”

“Why the hell am I getting a random ass print?!”

“Nitroglycerin works like viagra Shitty Hair! Just fucking get used to it and learn how to control it!”

“I have your hair man! Does that mean you have shitty hair?”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!!”

“.....Is that..*sniff sniff*...caramel?”

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

—

“You’ll be back to normal in 2 weeks.” Aizawa bluntly said.

“2 WEEKS?!?” The boys screamed.

“Wha- HOW DO YOU KNOW?!” Bakugou screamed, trying to jump onto Aizawa with Kirishima holding him back. To anyone else, it would look like Bakugou holding Kirishima back. Oh how the tables have kinda turned.

“I know because officers have been trying to catch this thief for some time now. Even I’ve run into him on some occasions. His quirk is is called ‘Swapped.’ He takes your soul and spirit and places it in a different form...obviously. It doesn’t do much harm but it lasts for some time. Don’t worry though, you’ll be back to normal eventually.” Their teacher explained. “‘Till then, just tough it out for the next 2 weeks. Dismissed.”

The boys groaned and walked back to the common room floor. They walked in to find a few other classmates who thankfully didn’t seem too suspicious of anything. The boys went their separate ways, going to their own dorms to soothe their still aching heads.

—

Kirishima was the first to come out of his room. After contemplating whether he should take a shower or not, he chose the latter. He could survive the rest of the day without one, he’ll just worry about bathing later. Besides, he doesn’t mind smelling like a sweet treat for the next few hours and you know…not having to see and wash his best friend’s body and dick.

He walked down into the kitchen to find it empty. He was glad he wouldn’t have to explain his situation to anyone. If anyone saw Bakugou acting like the sweet bean that Kirishima is then I’m pretty sure a lot of people would have questions.

Looking around, he saw a batch of brownies left on a tray. He couldn’t help himself and went in to grab one. Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware of how chewy they were and after taking a few chomps, he realized the treat was as tough as glue. He couldn’t even open his mouth! And just to his luck, Bakugou’s girlfriend had walked in, seemingly back from her training session.

“Hi baby.” Y/N said. She went up to who she thought was her boyfriend and gave him a hug along with a peck on his cheek. “How was your day?”

Kirishima grew nervous. He didn’t know how to handle this situation. He would totally tell Y/N that it was actually him in her boyfriend’s body but the brownie sealed his mouth shut! He resorted to going with the flow and just nodding with a nervous smile. A very Bakugou smile.

“Tiring?” Y/N asked. Kirishima nodded his head. “Umm..okay. Well, same for me, but I still have enough energy for movie night, so I’ll see you in the common room. ‘Kay?”

Again, the now blonde nodded his head again. You smiled at him and went in to give him another hug. To your shock, you felt something poking you when you gave your boyfriend a hug. You looked down and noticed a pretty impressive print through his sweats and smirked. You looked up to your “boyfriend” and gave him a sly look. “You sure you’re tired Suki? Cuz your friend down here says you’re down for something else.”

Kirishima began to shake due to his nervousness now. He couldn’t help the damn boner! One, nitroglycerin is apparently 12x stronger than viagra, and two! He can’t relieve himself! Looking at and touching his best friend’s dick was wrong! And weird! Even if it was attached to him now!

What Kirishima wasn’t prepared for was you being so willing to help relieve his stiffy. On the bright side, he’d relive his hard on. On the not so bright side, he’d be fucking his best bro’s girl. Big no no. He definitely wasn’t prepared for your hand to travel down his torso and grab onto his Bakugou’s dick. “You still tired Suki?”

Kirishima couldn’t help himself. It felt too good to stop. He threw his head back and enjoyed the stimulation, even though he knew it was wrong. All he knew was that if he let this whole thing play through, he wouldn’t have to worry about walking around with a huge ass boner. A blush grew on his face as he moaned. He felt you peck at his neck a bit before stopping all your motions. The now blonde looked towards you in confusion and saw your laughter.

“Hehe, sorry Suki. Save it for later tonight, okay? I’ve gotta freshen up but I’ll see you later, Love.” You said before giving him a sweet peck and walking away. Once you were out of sight, Kirishima fanned his face to try and get rid of his blush. He then quickly ran to the fridge and chugged a few gulps of milk down to wash away the brownie.

“Fuck.” Was all that he said. Did that really just happen? Shit. Should he have let that happen? At this point he didn’t know. The man in him said HELL NO, but the nitroglycerin said otherwise. All Kirishima knew was that apparently he had a movie date to get to.

—

So now here we are, Y/N and Kirishima (in Bakugou’s body) all cuddled up on one of the common room couches during the late hours of the night, watching a movie. Kirishima thought Y/N looked really tempting in her booty shorts and tube top. The way her plush chest pressed up against his own as she watched the screen with a smile wasn’t aiding Kirishima’s mission to relieve his hard on.

Throughout the whole movie, Kirishima watched from time to time how Y/N would rub her legs together. It seemed she was growing some urges as well. Kirishima couldn’t shake his nerves..like...AT ALL.

Finally. It was almost the end of the movie. Kirishima had almost made it. All he had to do was finish the last 10 minutes and he could go..well honestly he didn’t know yet but he’ll figure it out later! Unfortunately, the universe had different plans. Kirishima watched as Y/N sat up to grab the remote and turn off the T.V. She placed the object down on the table and faced who she assumed to be her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around his neck and went to straddle his groin.

“Uh-..Y/N?” Kirishima asked with a shaky voice as he gulped down a nerve. You smirked at him and leaned down to leave kisses all over his neck. Kirishima shook a bit and let out a shudder at your soft lips.

“Relax Suki. We won’t get caught. ‘Sides, when have you ever been afraid to fuck in public?” You said. You then went up to start off your session with a hot kiss to “Katsuki’s” lips. Kirishima had wide eyes as you took in his lips, but eventually, your sweet taste and bouncy lips made him succumb to your wishes.

He placed his hands on your waist as he kissed you back. When he opened his mouth you slid your tongue in as your hands entangled themselves in his hair. The kiss was fiery and passionate and eventually you and “Katsuki” both began to moan into the kiss. His hands traveled to your ass and gave in a firm grip which made you release a loud moan. Things were definitely heating up now.

—

When Katsuki came back to the dorms, he had already been exhausted by the entire situation. The only thing on his mind was getting some rest to ware off the headache, hours had passed and he eventually woke up in the middle of the night.

“Shit, how long have I been out?” He stretched and yawned a bit before he got up. The mirror hanging on his wall reminded him of his new body. “Oh, right. I’m in Shitty Hair’s body......gross.”

Bakugou felt his mouth become dry and so he planned to get a glass of water from the kitchen. As he walked down the halls, he couldn’t help but think about you. His precious girl. The love of his life who’s been with him since childhood and who he’s been dating since their second year in junior high. You were with him through it all and he couldn’t help but feel a little bad that he had to miss movie night.

‘Fuck, did I even tell Y/N I wouldn’t make it to movie night? Crap,’ he thought. Oh well, he’d just have to make up for it later. As he walked near the common rooms, his ears picked up a sound. And not just any sound, it was a moan. And he knew exactly who’s moan it was, for he had been the cause of those exact sounds and he’s heard them time and time again.

Bakugou ran to the common rooms to find his girlfriend and his body making out and slowly grinding on each other on the couch. He watched “his” hands travel to grope Y/N’s ass and bit his lip when he heard his girlfriend’s pleasured moans. He wasn’t gonna lie, the scene before him had turned him on, but what became a huge turnoff was the fact that Bakugou knew it wasn’t him in there and he knew exactly who was in his damn body!

“THE HELL?!” Bakugou screamed in Kirishima’s voice. He watched the two of you jump away from each other in shock and saw a look of fear flow through Kirishima’s his own eyes.

“Jeez, Kirishima. You scared us.” You said to your actual boyfriend without knowing it. Bakugou fumed at the fact that you were just making out and were probably about to fuck his best friend but he couldn’t blame you. You called him Kirishima so you must’ve not known about the switch.

“Can I talk to Bakugou real quick, L/N?” Bleh. Calling someone else by his name was weird and calling you by your family name was very uncomfortable.

“Umm..we’re kinda in the middle of something so maybe if you could jus-“

“Thanks.” He said and dragged “Bakugou” away behind a hallway corner. He pinned his body up against the wall and got in Kirishima’s face as he held the man by his collar. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING KISSING MY GIRLFRIEND?!”

“IM SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! SHE CAME ONTO ME!” Kirishima explained while being held against the wall.

“NO SHIT SHE CAME ONTO YOU! YOU’RE IN MY BODY! YOU’RE ME! I’M HER BOYFRIEND! SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE ME SHITTY HAIR!” Bakugou screamed. Kirishima just laughed nervously as Bakugou continued to fume. After venting, Bakugou finally dropped Kirishima back on his feet and pressed the bridge of his nose with 2 fingers. “Okay. Why THE FUCK did you not tell her about the quirk?”

“Because man! .....Your quirk has built in viagra!” Kirishima said in defeat as he threw his hands in the air due to the pent up frustration. “I’ve had a fucking stiffy ever since I got put in your body! So I thought-“

“You thought you could relieve yourself with my girl?!” Bakugou asked with big, angry eyes.

“.....Yes?”

“KIRISHIMA!”

“ALRIGHT!” Kirishima sighed. “Well what now?”

“We go out there and explain to her what happened so you don’t end up fucking her!” Bakugou explained as he tried to walk back to you but Kirishima pulled him back.

“Okay but what about my fucking boner?” The pent up boy asked.

“Just rub it out!” Bakugou exclaimed.

“No way! I’m not touching your dick!” Kirishima rebelled.

“Why not? I’m clean. And big! Just saying, I got a pretty dick dude.” Bakugou said with both hands up in defense.

“BAKUGOU!”

“Yeah, fair.” The ex blonde said. The boys thought about it for a bit before something hit Kirishima like a train.

“Wait..if you’re so okay with me seeing your dick..does that mean..you took a look at mine?!” He asked while shaking Bakugou’s his shoulders.

“What?! Gross! No! I was napping all day Shitty Hair so relax! And get your damn hands offa’ me!” Bakugou said while squirming out of Kirishima’s hold.

“Alright, fine whatever! Let’s just go out and explain to L/N.” Kirishima said.

“Good!”

“Goooooodd!” Bakugou said more dramatically. The two boys finally made it back to you and instead of your boyfriend’s body taking a seat next to you, it remained standing. Meanwhile, “Kirishima” took the seat “Katsuki” previously had. You looked towards the red head and then to your boyfriend in a confused tilt.

“Suki? Are you gonna sit?” You asked to “Bakugou.”

“I am.” “Kirishima” replied. You looked towards the muscular boy sitting next to you with a raised brow.

“What?” You questioned.

“Listen, L/N, we got something to tell you.” The actual Kirishima said. You looked to your “boyfriend” with almost a hurt look on your face as to why he was calling you by your family name. The real Bakugou took notice of your sad voice and softened his eyes at your now upset demeanor. “I’m actually Kirishima...”

Your face grew in surprise and then silence hit the room. The boys gazed your looks for a reaction but got nothing other than pure shock. You couldn’t even say anything other than “Eh?!”

“Yeaahhhh..I’m your actual boyfriend.” The red head said. You looked to Kirishima and inspected him closer.

“Uh..Suki?” You said while zooming in of his face.

“Tch. It’s me Teddy Bear, relax,” Bakugou said while looked away with a blushed face as he pushed your face away. You grumbled at his push and took his hand off.

“Yup. That’s you.” You said, relaxing. “So...you’re Katsuki..and you’re Kirishima?”

You watched the boys nod their heads and you were settling down until another thought came to mind. “Wait..so I was-..on the couch-...I thought-...”

“Yeah, you were making out with Shitty Hair but in my body..” Bakugou said with a hand behind his neck. Your face jumped in shock once more until it was replaced with anger. You watched as Kirishima’s new face became nervous and gave a shaky chuckle.

“Kirishima...” you seethed with slanted eyes before you attempted to jump onto the new blonde. Mid-jump, Bakugou grabbed onto your waist and pulled you back onto his lap. You fought against Katsuki’s hold on you but alas he was too strong.

“Nope! No, settle, settle.” Bakugou said with an iron grip on your waist. You finally calmed down until you took notice you were sitting in BASICALLY Kirishima’s lap. Feeling uncomfortable you scooted off your boyfriend and sat next to him. Bakugou looked at you with a confused expression that demanded an explanation.

“Heh..sorry um, Suki. But I’m not sitting on you or doing...anything else that’s lovey dovey until you’re back to your own body.” You explained.

“Wha- that’s not fair! You were all over here grinding on him just a few minutes ago!” Bakugou whined and pointed at his body.

“Because I didn’t know it wasn’t you!” Bakugou just grumbled and groaned at you. Your reasoning was fair but he just wanted his girlfriend.

“Okay, whatever. Be pouty. Just- When is this quirk gonna wear off?” You asked. Bakugou continued to pout with crossed arms but luckily Kirishima answered.

“2 weeks.” He said.

“Alright then!” You said while clapping your hands and standing up, gathering Katsuki’s attention. “For the next 2 weeks or until you go back to normal, Suki, no touching, no kisses, no overly-friendly hugs, no cuddles, no lap-sitting....”

Bakugou listened to you list all the things he couldn’t do. As you went on, his jaw dropped as he realized he wouldn’t be able to do all the things he usually does to you for the next 2 weeks. The list went on and on until you finished it with one final detail. “...and finally. No sex.”

“WHAT?!” Bakugou said while standing up now. “WHY?!”

“Katsuki. I’m not fucking my boyfriend’s best friend’s body. No offense Kiri,” you said to the other boy.

“None taken!” He said with his winning smile. Just less shark-toothy. Bakugou just mumbled about until you cut him off.

“Anyways! I’m going to bed. After this long and frankly awkward day, I think we all should.” You said and the boys agreed. You all walked to your respected dorms but when Bakugou tried following you into your dorm while he was still in Kirishima’s body, you stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“Uh, sorry Suki. You’ll be sleeping in your own dorm for the next 2 weeks. No sleeping together either.” You watched as Bakugou became much more agitated as he huffed. He grumbled as he reluctantly walked all the way to his own dorm room. You giggled as you watched the now red head walk away and shut your door. You couldn’t help but laugh as you laid down on your bed but 10 minutes passed and before you could fall asleep, a knock was at your door.

“Suki, I said we can’t sleep on my bed together.” You said once you opened the door, finding Kirishima’s body holding a pillow and blanket.

“I know it’s just- *sigh* look, if I can’t cuddle with you can I at least sleep on the ground and hold your hand?” He said, looking away with an embarrassed blush. “I know you said hand-holding isn’t allowed but you won’t be seeing me since I’ll be out of your sight and on the ground.”

You smiled at how clingy he was being. It was adorable and you just had to give in. “Fine, come in.”

Katsuki perked up with a small smile and happily followed you into the room. You got comfy on the bed while he set up his little pillow and blanket. You finally dropped your hand down so he could hold onto it and his warm hand held a strong grip on your own.

So now here you were, late at night, “cuddling” with your boyfriend. In a way. You smiled as you held onto his hand and couldn’t help but giggle when you felt his lips place a sweet kiss to your knuckles. Oh well, I guess there was nothing wrong with holding hands with your boyfriend’s best friend. As long as it’s your boyfriend who’s in his best friend’s body.

You couldn’t believe this was gonna be your life for the next 2 weeks.

Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

only you and me

w/c: 6.7k

warnings: angst, mentions of weed, and some swearing

summary: whenever peter tries to tell you how he feels, harry gets in the way

a/n: ahhhh hi my loves! my mini writing break is over :,) life has been just a mess for me and i’ve been way more critical than usual about my work but i’m doing a little better and ready to get back into everything! this helped me a lot so i’m excited to share it with y’all <3 it’s also my first time writing harry osborn so lmk how i did lmaooofwfjj but yeah pls enjoy

“dude, she’s right there! just tell her!” ned whisper yells to peter, elbowing him for emphasis. they’re hidden behind a wall to watch you at your locker. you’re grabbing books while betty rants to you and mj rolls her eyes. “not now. she looks... busy,” peter gulps, gaze trailing down your body. he always finds excuses to put off telling you how he feels.

or rather, excuses find him. something comes up every time he gets the courage to do it. he has no idea why he’s so scared because he’s pretty sure you like him back. pretty sure. there are a few reasons why you might not. also, plenty why you might. you stay up late texting most nights, and you’ve even flirted a couple of times. it never fails to make peter blush. he trips over his words whenever he tries to flirt back.

he’s had feelings for you since the first time you two hung out alone. none of your other friends could make it, but you happily took him up on his offer to come over. you grinned through his whole apartment tour, asked about may and what she does. when peter showed you his room, you even complimented his movie posters, much to his surprise.

“really? you don’t think they’re, like, dorky?”

“no, peter. your interests aren’t dorky. everyone likes what they like.”

and, he liked you. he knew it from that point on. you’d know it too if the universe wouldn’t keep stopping him from saying that.

“she’s so...” peter pauses for a second. him and ned watch you pull betty in by her shoulders as if you’re going to kiss her. she dodges you, mj pushing her back, all three of you giggling about it before you grab betty’s hands and give her words of encouragement. “cool,” peter finishes, turning back to ned. “i mean, how she puts herself out there like that.”

“what’s stopping you from doing the same thing?” ned points out with a knowing smile that peter returns. you make it look so easy. whenever you’re comfortable around people, you can let go of any doubts you have. you stop worrying about what they might think and instead do what you want. it’s inspiring to peter, and heart warming getting to be one of the people you’re fully you with.

he wishes he could apply your wisdom himself.

peter shakes his head, staring down at the floor. “oh, you know. anxiety, fear of rejection. that fun stuff.” “so, yourself,” ned concludes, clapping peter’s backpack so hard it makes him stumble forward. betty and mj wave goodbye to you before heading to their first class. you’re still getting your things together at your locker. this is peter’s moment.

“come on, dude! y/n’s not busy anymore. you got this.” ned keeps his hand on peter’s back, adding on, “it’s been a year already.” “half a year,” peter corrects him in a mumble. he’s liked you for a really long time. “ok, i’m going. wish me luck.” he takes a deep breath and focuses in on you. “aw, dude. you don’t need it.” ned gives him one last pat on the back. “good luck, though.” “thanks, man. see you in trig.”

right as peter starts heading over, harry comes up behind you and covers your eyes. you squeal, jumping up and turning to him, laughing as you playfully hit at his chest. he brings you into a hug where your face is buried in his sweater and probably inhaling his super strong, super expensive cologne.

that’s what’s stopping peter, harry freaking osborn. his own friend.

peter quickly loses the tiny bit of confidence ned gave him. he figures it might be better to hold off on his confession and get an early start to class. unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. harry has already spotted him and calls him over.

“hey, pete! come give us some love, eh?” harry beams, an arm slung around your shoulders and you smiling up at him. you direct your smile to peter when he slumps his way to your locker. his lips pull into a barely noticeable frown. you notice. “there’s my guy. why so down, sunshine?” harry offers his fist for a fist bump. peter gives it to him, eyes staying on you.

harry osborn. where to begin with such a specimen? he’s the perfect combination of everything you’d want in a guy. he gets good grades, he’s a star player on on the basketball team, nice to everyone and makes you laugh, popular yet fits right into your small group.

he was friends with you before the popular thing. what kicked it off was him making varsity basketball while only being a sophomore. yep, he’s unreal. since then, he’s been balancing his cool life and also hanging with “the nerds,” as he likes to call you. he got his own feelings for you along the way. peter can tell.

he’ll give you rides home, compliment how you look, basically act like your boyfriend without really being it. it absolutely infuriates peter because he doesn’t compare to harry in the slightest. if he were you and had the choice between himself or harry, he would pick harry.

it’s been a factor in why he hasn’t come clean about how he feels yet. he’s not trying to create a love triangle that he doesn’t stand a chance surviving in.

“for real, peter. you good?” you ask him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “fine,” peter lies and musters up a smile. “i’m just tired. didn’t sleep too good last night.” you’re only more concerned now. this has been happening to him a lot lately. you search for his eyes. “again?”

“aw, man. you need something for it?” harry punches peter’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “i know this kid who-“ “harry, stop.” your words are serious, tone lighthearted. you throw your head back on his arm. “do you really know a kid?” “i’m not telling you,” he says in an overly happy voice, you humming the same way. peter feels like he’s third wheeling.

“i was telling pete.” harry looks at him expectantly, peter’s mouth dropping open while he thinks of what to say. harry likes to mess around. this is a different level, though. “no thanks. i- i shouldn’t. i’m-“ “relax, i don’t know a kid,” harry chuckles and points at peter. “your face right now.” it’s completely flushed. you knock into harry’s side.

“ok, well literally no one laughed. you’re scaring him,” you tell harry sternly. peter tugs tight on one of his backpack straps. he doesn’t feel like he’s third wheeling you two now. he feels like your kid. he’ll never let ned mettle in his love life ever again if this is where it gets him. “he knows i’m kidding, y/n/n. right?” harry checks with peter. you make a face at him that says you aren’t convinced.

he switches his arm from you to peter, drawing him into his side. “look, pete. i’m sorry. the only kid i know who’s selling is chocolates for his band trip.” you’re satisfied with that, grinning at both of them. peter forces a laugh and nods. “no worries, man. i gotta get to class.” “good boy,” harry lets him go. “bye, pete. we’ll see you at lunch,” you remind him. he gives you a tight lipped smile. “see you, y/n/n.”

you and harry continue practically spooning each other as soon as peter is out of sight.

what the hell is going on?

peter is back to being grumpy, plopping down in his seat next to ned. their teacher has the lesson plan pulled up on the smart board. ned looks from it to peter, almost jumping in his seat. “oh, you’re back already? how’d it go?” “it didn’t go,” peter huffs, copying down the aim. he’s only doing it so he doesn’t have to look ned in the eyes while telling him he bailed. again.

“you didn’t do it?” ned repeats, peter writing something about pi and a unit circle in his notebook. he bites the inside of his cheek. “you have to do it at some point,” ned sighs out and picks up his pencil. even he’s getting tired of this, and ned never gets tired of a good friends to lovers moment. “i think she likes harry,” peter says under his breath. “huh?” ned gasps.

peter doesn’t feel like explaining the extremely awkward moment he just finished living. although, it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion. “y/n. he came over, and they kept hugging and whatever.” “they always do that,” ned almost scoffs, their trigonometry teacher moving to stand in front of the class. “yeah, but he had his arm around her the whole time we-“

the bell rings and cuts their conversation short. peter struggles to label the unit circle they learn about when his mind is filled to its capacity with images of you and harry all over each other. it’s not daydreaming. this is a nightmare. maybe, he actually will be having sleep problems.

peter’s morning is relatively decent after that. he gets to do an experiment with mj in chemistry, and she lets him take the lead for once. spanish is easy, health is okay, then he has a free period, then it’s lunch. things can only go downhill from here.

he thinks about hiding in the library until it’s over, but it’s the thought of harry eating your face that gets him to drag himself to the cafeteria.

flash is at the head of your table talking to harry when peter gets there. great, now he can’t eat his soggy chicken fingers in peace. “sounds dope. let’s go on the-“ flash stops saying what he was saying and nods at peter. “penis parker, you’re late.” peter takes his seat on your left, harry on your right. you glance over at him to make sure he’s okay. he acts like he doesn’t care, peeling open his milk carton.

“just text me later, man. get outta here,” harry dismisses flash, the two of them doing a bro handshake before he leaves. he’s well aware of his and peter’s history. he keeps them separate for the obvious reasons. peter appreciates it because saying no to flash is nearly impossible. he shouldn’t be so mad at harry, should he? he’s a good friend.

harry’s arm snakes around your waist and brings you closer to him. never mind.

“who’s up for sushi later?” he asks the table, everyone agreeing and saying how awesome that sounds. everyone except peter. you tap his shoulder with a small smile. “what about you, peter? you coming?” he realizes you’re all waiting for him to respond and puts down his milk. “uh, i can’t. homework,” he lamely answers.

“dude, we have homework, too. just do it a little later,” ned suggests, betty laying her head on his shoulder. you share a look with her, your eyes wide and a grin on your lips. that must have been what you were talking about this morning. she asked for boy advice. ned advice. why can’t this crap work out for peter?

“i really can’t. sorry, guys,” peter half heartedly apologizes.

he misses the disappointment that crosses your features because he’s pouting at his lunch again.

“homework, huh?” mj tests him, squinting as she takes a sip of apple juice. harry nudges peter’s side with two fingers. “you still mad about the sleeping thing?” “sleeping thing? what sleeping thing?” betty wonders while ned rests his head against hers. a quiet laugh slips out of you as you lean in to tell her.

“peter said he couldn’t sleep last night, so harry offered him...” you mime rolling a joint. “i said no,” peter clarifies, rolling his eyes at the inevitable teasing he’s about to get. none of you have even smoked besides harry. you’re being annoying about it. “of course you did,” mj sighs and kicks her feet up on the table. “unrelated to what y/n just said... harry, i have insomnia.”

everyone bursts into laughter at that, betty shoving her side and you pulling harry by his torso as he pretends to go into his backpack. peter wants nothing to do with any of this. he usually enjoys joking around with the group, even if it’s at his expense because it’s from a place of love.

today feels like you’re straight up making fun of him. harry might as well invite flash to join in.

“alright, alright, alright. enough of the weed talk,” harry decides, you removing your arms from him and grabbing your coffee. “you’re such a bad influence.” your voice drips with sarcasm. you bend the straw and take a sip while scooting closer to peter. “you really can’t come later? i feel like i’ve barely seen you today.” that’s on harry. “i wish i could, y/n/n,” peter exhales. “i’ll text you later, okay?”

you don’t get to answer because mj tugs on your arm, distracting you from peter. she explains how she has to do an art project on what it means to be a woman and needs help brainstorming ideas. you’re full of them, offering up an interesting perspective for her to use. peter smiles to himself as he listens in. you find a new way to impress him every day.

he should tell you that.

“hey, y/n?” “listen to her! you’re seriously my idol,” betty gushes, so loudly you don’t hear peter. not a single thing has gone in his favor at this table. he gives up.

peter locks himself in his room when he gets home from his overall terrible day. he does homework like he said he would, only taking a break for dinner, giving one word replies to may’s questions about school. he’d much rather be having sushi with you. he would’ve gone if the others didn’t.

after dinner, it’s back to grumbling and scribbling down answers. there’s a knock at peter’s door around ten o’clock, which he assumes is may saying goodnight. “i’ll be done in a few minutes, may! love you.” “it’s y/n,” you reply, the smile clear in your voice. his eyes go comically wide. that’s the last thing he expected to hear. “oh. uh, come in.”

you’re holding a small takeout bag, shutting the door behind you and walking over to his desk. you meet his twinkling eyes in the dim light that hits off his walls. from his open window, you faintly hear cars as they rush by and honk their horns in the distance, accompanied by a fresh breeze. it’s cozy, safe. it’s peter.

“hey. what’re you doing here?” peter questions, leaving his pencil in his binder and shutting it. you shake around the plastic bag. “i saved you a roll.” he bites back a smile, getting up from his chair. “may let me in. she was really chill about it,” you continue and hold out the sushi for him. “it’s a california roll. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, and everyone likes those.”

peter lets his smile spread out and takes the bag from you. “thanks, y/n/n. i was honestly hoping one of you would have leftovers.” you laugh softly, peter setting the bag down on his desk. he scratches the back of his neck. “did you guys have fun?” “yeah. i missed you, though.” you clasp your hands behind your back. “everyone did.”

“i feel bad i didn’t go. just... things felt off today,” peter admits the real reason he stayed home, you letting out a breath. “it was harry, wasn’t it? god, he was being so weird.” your arms drop back to your sides. “there’s a difference between playing around and actually upsetting people.” by people, you mean peter. no one else seemed too bothered by him. “i’m sorry, peter. i tried to make him stop.”

“no, you don’t have to apologize,” peter assures you sweetly, grabbing one of your hands. “it’s not your fault, okay? he probably didn’t realize what he was doing. the jokes landed.” he’s referring to ned, mj, and betty finding harry’s comments hilarious. you lace your fingers with peter’s and frown. “this isn’t like him. maybe he’s stressed about a game.” your gaze drifts off to the side, what you see getting you to perk up.

“is that new?” you ask peter, leading him by his hand over to a poster he put up recently. it’s for 13 going on 30. you showed it to him a couple of weeks ago, and he clearly liked it a lot. any movie that makes it to peter’s wall is a special one. “mhm. i got it literally right after you went home the night we watched,” he chuckles and looks over at you while you study the poster.

you turn to face peter again, keeping your hand tight in his. “were you gonna tell me something earlier? at lunch?” he’s confused for a second, then he remembers your ideas for mj’s art project. the fact that you cared enough to bring it up after all these hours makes his stomach do summersaults in the best way. he shrugs and gives you a smile.

“the stuff you were saying about femininity and how there are so many ways to define it,” peter starts, you grinning back at him, at how he took an interest in what you were saying. “you’re so smart, y/n. you make me wanna be better.” a light pink dusts his cheeks. “peter, you’re a feminist?” you coo, joking but genuinely wondering at the same time. he squeezes your hand. “duh.”

“i thought so,” you nod, taking in the rest of what he said. “you think i’m smart? i trust you because you’re way smarter.” peter pffts in response. “i’m only good at, like, physics. you’re good at things that really matter. smart in that way.” you’re feeling your own face get hot. you swing yours and peter’s hands back and forth. “why are you the nicest person ever?”

the answer to that, may, peeks her head into the room. “hey, kids. it’s getting late.” she notices your intertwined hands and shoots peter a smirk. “i thought you were a cool aunt,” he teases, you sadly letting go of him. “she is. thanks for having me over so late,” you tell may on your way to the door. “oh, stop it. you can come over any time.” she puts a hand on your arm. “thank you so much,” you murmur back.

you walk backwards to the doorway, may leaving you two to say your goodbyes. “wanna hang out only you and me? on friday maybe?” that should make up for everything earlier. “yeah, of course. friday is perfect,” peter agrees and bounces on his feet as excitement takes over him. “thanks again for the sushi.”

“no problem. goodnight.” it’s taking every last bit of power in you to not freak out. “night. text me when you get home.” he presses his tongue into his cheek. you slowly pull the door shut. “ok, i will. bye!” it closes, leaving peter skipping across his room to his bed on one side and you doing a little happy dance on the other.

the next day at school, everything is back to normal. honestly, better than normal. your hangout with peter is tomorrow, and he’s planning on telling he likes you then. he already talked it over with ned. he’s relieved it’s finally happening, especially since him and betty have their own thing. she’ll be taking up most of his free time from here.

your group is spending lunch outside today, lounging across a picnic table, surrounded by trees and the shining sun in a bright blue sky. mj sits on the table and has her feet on the bench, which would usually bug peter to no end. he doesn’t mind this time because it takes up enough room that harry has to sit with ned and betty instead of you. you lean into peter’s side and stab a piece of lettuce from your salad.

“it’s so nice out,” betty sighs, ripping off half her cookie and giving it to ned. “we should ditch.” “oh my god, you sound like harry,” you groan between bites of salad. peter lets out a breathy laugh, you looping your arm through his. he grins down at where you’re linked. harry crosses his own arms over his chest. “she wishes.” betty only nods because her mouth is full of m&m’s.

“nah, seriously. i’d take us out somewhere, but i have practice after school.” he speaks quieter than he normally does, less confident. your theory about him having basketball drama was right. “what did we tell you? talk about the sports shit with your sports friends,” mj complains, sitting back on her hands. she glances at harry over her shoulder and catches ned mouthing you can’t say that.

sitting criss cross, she spins around to face harry, unenthusiastically saying, “what i meant was, you sound upset. what’s wrong?” harry gets into it right away, like he’s been waiting for someone to ask. “coach says there might be a scout at the next game. it’s a really good opportunity even though i don’t have to worry about... college yet.” the word makes him cringe.

“oh, damn. that’s a big deal. scary,” mj snorts, turning back to you and peter. her behavior makes ned internally face palm. “that’s awesome, dude. you’re gonna play amazing like always.” he gives harry a high five, who smiles nervously in response. he’s never nervous. “thanks, bro. you guys wanna come and watch?” he’s never invited you to one of his games before either.

this isn’t a group of friends that likes to spend their weekends in bleachers while angry teens shout around them.

“definitely. we’ll be there to support you, harry,” betty answers for everyone, ned pecking her cheek in satisfaction. mj cusses to herself before replying. “if i absolutely must, sure.” only you and peter haven’t said anything yet. he’s been chewing his lower lip, and you your salad. harry looks between you two hopefully. it’s more so at you, which peter doesn’t like.

“y/n? pete? it would help a lot, i’m serious.” he taps his fingers on the table until one of you speaks up. you’re the one who does. “i’ll go. this is pretty huge, right? congrats.” you reach across the table and squeeze his shoulder while simultaneously tightening your arm around peter’s. he takes that as a cue. “i’ll go, too. happy for you, man.”

though peter isn’t currently in the best place with harry, he should show his support by showing up. it can’t be too bad since the rest of you will be there.

a loud, long chuckle leaves harry as he hops up from his bench and comes to yours and peter’s. he bends over and wraps both of you in a hug from behind at the same time. his arms are around each of your shoulders, holding you so close his cheeks are squished against either of your heads. you giggle at that, peter finding himself laughing along and reaching back to ruffle harry’s hair.

staying mad at him is one of the world’s greatest challenges.

“you’re saints, both of you. my angels.” he kisses the back of your head, then lays one right on peter’s cheek, leaving him blushing red and grinning. “what about the rest of us? i never go to shit like this,” mj huffs and seems genuinely offended. harry wiggles his eyebrows. “you want a kiss?” his offer gets her flustered, which she can’t manage to hide. that’s a first.

“shut up. i’m just saying... never mind.” mj glares at you and peter, ned and betty making kissing noises behind her. “someone change the subject.” peter steps in. “when’s the game, harry?” he asks, harry snapping and waving his finger. “tomorrow! cancel your plans, kiddos.” “like we had any,” betty retorts.

some of you did. that was going to be peter’s hangout with you.

ned smiles sympathetically at peter before betty is getting his attention. you‘re unfazed and rambling to harry how proud you are of him.

did last night mean nothing? was it an empty gesture? were you only doing it out of guilt? peter must have read your visit wrong. he’s been wrong the whole time he’s liked you. you don’t like him back, you pity him. harry is who you’re really interested in.

may always says he should trust his instincts.

peter pulls his arm from yours suddenly, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. you’re taken back because it’s so out of no where. you stop talking to harry so you can figure out his deal. “where are you going?” “bell’s gonna ring,” peter mumbles and picks up his lunch tray. he heads to the garbage can without another word or goodbye to anyone.

“i’m gonna go check on him,” you tell harry, already getting up from the bench. “you do that,” he acknowledges and calls mj’s name again.

peter tosses his mostly untouched food in the trash, seeing you make your way over from the corner of his eye. he tries to speed walk inside so he doesn’t have to talk to you. you’re too quick, cornering him between the door and brick wall.

“we still have ten minutes,” you state, worry flashing across your face. he’s avoiding you. well, attempting to. “what’s wrong?” peter gulps before saying anything. “my next class is on the other side of the-“ “no,” you cut him off. “what’s really wrong?”

he doesn’t feel like having this discussion. it’s bad enough he came to the realization his feelings are one sided. must he break that down for you so soon?

you toy with your sleeve while you speak because peter doesn’t. “i thought you and harry were fine again. i mean, he kissed you.” peter clenches his jaw so hard he can imagine the sound of it cracking. “it’s not about harry.” “what, then? what the fuck happened?” your sleeves are now balled in your fists. you hate it when peter does this angsty routine.

he keeps his voice low and calm so he doesn’t come off as jealous or hurt. he’s both of those things. “the game is tomorrow. friday. when we were supposed to hang out.” you meet peter’s eyes with nothing but remorse in yours. “i... i forgot,” is all you have to say.

you feel awful. he’s had a tough couple of days, and you fell through on your promise to cheer him up.

“clearly,” peter remarks, voice sharp. the way you’re looking at him makes him think he won’t like what’s coming. “peter, we have to go,” you almost whine. “i’m really sorry, i am, but this is a big night for harry. he needs us there.” peter stays silent. you’re twisting the knife deeper into him with every word. “i wouldn’t be cancelling if this wasn’t important.”

now you’re cancelling?

you reach for peter’s hand, but he shoves it into his pocket. that stings for you and him. “please, peter. we’ll hang out at the game, i swear.” this is the last chance you’ve got, so you pile it on. “harry won’t even be there, technically. he’ll... he’ll be on the court.” peter hadn’t thought about that. he lets himself unclench, starting to see the appeal. you add one more thing to lighten the mood and persuade him.

“i’ll buy you popcorn, all you can eat.” it’s that easy. cracking a smile, peter accepts. he’ll deal with his unresolved, unreciprocated feelings after he stuffs his face, courtesy of you. “you better. i’m gonna need it for this long ass game.” your face lights up, grabbing his wrist in both hands.

“so, you’ll come?” “i’ll be there,” he confirms. you throw your arms around his neck. he laughs into the hug and holds you by your middle. “i promise this’ll be the first and last game we ever go to,” you say and mean it. harry is lucky you’re even suffering through this a first time. “thank god,” peter exhales, resting his chin on your head.

that interaction leaves peter confused as hell. you’re crushing his mind and soul one minute, then hugging him the next. you were making him feel so special lasts night, and treating harry the same way today. it’s so jumbled that he isn’t sure if he’s in the friend zone or something more zone.

there are a ton of mixed signals coming his way, and he sucks at reading people as is.

he can’t take another second of this. he’d rather you come out and say you like harry already because it’s torture. knowing you don’t want him in that way would at least eliminate the possibility of anything happening between you two, and allow him to stop driving himself insane.

he’d be able to stop taking it out on harry, too.

the hold you have on peter, that you’re oblivious to, rules his every thought and decision. he’s constantly analyzing what you say to him, debating whether or not your affection is simply platonic. it’s been half a year of this madness, the night of harry’s game blurring every line so much more.

your group arrives a bit early to find seats and hype harry up before he plays. peter gets there after all of you because he’s not exactly in a rush to watch sweaty guys be aggressive. there’s only one upside, which is spending the night with you... and everyone else.

he steps into the gym that’s filling up fast with family members, friends, and the college scout harry was talking about. midtown has a different feeling to it at night. the smell of pencils is oddly stronger, and it’s a lot less intimidating.

cheerleaders are huddled in a circle while the team supervisor has them run their chants. the “leading official,” who peter thought was called a referee, takes his place off to the side. coaches give their players last minute instructions, players fool around with each other, a lot is going on.

peter scans the room for you, and grins a toothy grin when you catch his eyes. you’re sitting by yourself in one of the middle bleachers, only a bag of skinny pop in your lap. you return the smile once you spot him and wave him over.

“i don’t know why, but i thought they’d have an actual concession stand,” you explain the lack of fresh, buttery popcorn as peter takes a seat next to you. he catches the prepackaged bag you toss him. “it’s just a snack table.” “works either way,” peter hums and pokes the bag. “i’m not sure skinny pop is all i can eat, though.” “it’s good!” you defend the snack you chose for him.

“i’m kidding! you’re right, it’s kind of addicting.” he puts it by his feet for now and gives you a half smile. “you’re welcome,” you deadpan in a playful tone. “thanks.” he narrows his eyes. “where’s everyone else?” “right,” you twist around and gesture to the bleacher above you. mj is gloomily seated near the back. ned and betty are a few behind you.

“i told them to find their own seats so we can sit together, alone.” you look over at peter and move ever so slightly closer. “welcome to our friday hangout. just the two of us.” “aw, you didn’t have to do that,” peter laughs out, his knee bumping yours. “but, i’m happy you did.” he goes to put an arm around you, then harry comes racing up the stairs.

just the two of you didn’t last so long.

“y/n, i’m freaking out,” harry announces, zooming through your row to get over to you. he stops once he’s standing in front of peter and shakes him by his shoulder. “hey, pete. you made it.” “yup,” peter replies, pressing his lips together. you wince at his reaction, then quirk an eyebrow at harry. “you’re freaking out? why?”

harry sits down between you and peter, blissfully unaware of the moment he interrupted.

“i found the scout. he’s fucking terrifying as fuck. this super ripped guy, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else,” he talks quietly, like the man will hear him. “he’s not the only one,” peter says to himself, kicking around his bag of popcorn to pass time. you ignore him and grimace.

“shit. wait, how do you know it’s him? did they tell you?” you’re not sure how these things go. harry casually shrugs a shoulder. “dude has a clipboard. seems legit to me.” he gives you a cocky smile. “he’s also in the row before mj. that’s how i noticed. um...” his back now facing peter, he whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle.

peter’s face scrunches up as the spark of anger the past few days have lit reignites itself.

when harry pulls away, you motion for him to come closer with your index finger, cupping your hand around his ear and speaking into it.

nope, no more. peter is entirely about to explode. you cancelled your plans so you can force him to watch basketball, you sweet talk him so he’ll let it go, and you’re running right back to harry after all of that? what the hell does that mean?

peter stands up from his seat. “y/n, we need to talk,” he demands, you moving away from harry to respond. “ok, gimme a minute. we’re-“ “no, we need to talk now.” you don’t have time to refute because he’s taking your arm and dragging you away. harry squints at you in utter confusion.

“um, have a good game! we’ll talk later,” you call back to him, walking with peter even though you have no idea what his issue is and aren’t a fan of how he’s acting.

he releases you once you’re in the hallway. you make a point of harshly yanking your arm back, a scowl painting your lips. “jesus, peter. i was having a conversation.” “do you like harry?” peter blurts out. you’re so shocked at his abruptness that you don’t give him much to work with, only, “what?” “do you like harry?” he asks you again, this time less accusing and more curious.

“do i like...” you’re too aware of the seemingly hundreds of people surrounding you to answer comfortably. “can we talk about this somewhere else?” “sure,” peter nods, letting you lead the way since he did to get out here. you two go down the hall and choose the first room you see, which happens to be the custodian’s closet. it’s thankfully unlocked.

things were tense between you and peter on the way over, and it’s physically mirrored when you step into the room, air thick and smelling of lemon cleaning supplies. you tug on the string hanging down to turn on the light. it casts a faded glow, leaving you in mostly darkness. you sort of like it. this feels more intimate, which is fitting for what you’re both about to say.

neither one of you knows where to begin. peter’s question is ringing in the back of your mind, and you could touch on that, but there’s more to it than a simple yes or no. you don’t have to worry about it because peter gets his words out first.

“i think harry likes you, and i think you like him back,” peter restarts, already sounding deflated by what he came up with. “he doesn’t, and i don’t.” you take a step towards him. “he likes mj.” it’s peter’s turn to be shocked. the hint of a smile sets on your lips. “that’s what we were talking about. harry asked if he should take her to dinner after the game, and i said yes.”

this is going better than he expected.

“mj is the one who likes him, not me,” you reiterate and watch some life enter peter again, a tiny bit. he’s coming around, and he wants to believe you. his trust issues don’t. “but, you’re so... touchy with each other. the hugging the other day?” he mentions. you tilt your head to the side in amusement. “friends can’t hug?”

to be fair, you hugged peter yesterday. that’s a point rightfully shut down.

“he calls you pretty,” peter tries, raising both eyebrows. you have to laugh at this one. “you call may pretty.”

obviously, peter’s analysis skills could use some serious improvements. it sounds like he had the right idea, wrong person. your relationship with harry is platonic. hell, he’s crushing on a whole different person. this actually opens up the possibility of you liking peter in the romantic way, of him being in the something more zone. he had it backwards.

in case peter isn’t convinced yet, and because you really want to, you use one more trick to prove to him you don’t like harry.

“do me and harry do this?” your lips speak for you, colliding with peter’s unexpectedly yet easily. he feels like he’s floating, like he’s in some sort of magical wonderland until it hits him that this is real, and he should probably kiss you back. he does so softly and tangles his fingers in your locks. his hand supports the back of your head as the kiss goes on.

you push forward so your bodies are almost fused together, the closest you can be while you hold his jaw. peter breaks the kiss for a short breather, going back in without more than a moment passing. this one is feverish, his free arm looping around your lower back, hand resting on the small of it. you let out a giggle against his swollen lips and stroke your thumb over his jawline.

he’s been waiting to do this for the longest time, but he doesn’t have to tell you that. it shows in how eager he was to reciprocate, his shyness blossoming into passion. you feel yourself melting under his touch, the kiss eventually becoming a series of short pecks. peter gives you the final one. his pink lips form a grin when you pull apart. your hands stay on each other, not in a rush to go anywhere.

“woah, i like you so much,” peter laughs out. the words roll off his tongue naturally. “you know i like you,” you drawl, smiling at him, a full body smile while you caress his skin. he winds both arms around you and dips his head down to steal another kiss. you’re loving what’s happening. however, you don’t feel like making out while dirty brooms stare at you. you should take this back home.

“wanna get out of here? i do,” you suggest, voice muffled from his lips. they detach from yours and brush your cheek gently. peter makes a funny face. “hm, i thought we had to come. harry needs us,” he says what you did yesterday, earning a groan back. “you’re joking.” “i’m not. what kind of friends would we be, ditching him like that?”

he’s going to end you one day.

“yeah, no. i have no idea how basketball works, and i’d like to keep it that way,” peter drops the act, pressing his fingers into your sides. “i’ve been so mean to harry. i was...” “a dick?” you finish for him. it’s more of a statement than a question. to soften the blow, you rub his cheek with the tips of your fingers. “yup. he’s gonna think i hate him or something if we don’t stay.” his formerly smiley face is frowning.

“harry of all people will understand after we tell him our reasons,” you reassure him, nudging under his chin with your nose. “besides, he has other things to worry about. mj, the scout. it’s fine.” peter considers it, ultimately giving in to you like he always does, resting his forehead on yours. “i guess so. less distractions for him, yeah.” “exactly. that’s what i wanna hear.”

having his approval, you unwind yourself from him and head to the door. his fingers wrap around your wrist gently. “what about my popcorn?” a giggle escapes your lips. “you’re still on that?” “you said all i can eat!” his voice comes out high pitched, adorably high pitched.

“fine. i might have those bags you put in the microwave.” you smile when his fingers lock with yours, peter kissing the side of your head.

“even better. let’s go home.”

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Forgotten

Thomas x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2326 words

Warnings: none

Summary: WCKD isn’t the only one with secrets. The Scorch has a few secrets of its own

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It would have been stupid of the gladers to think they were the only ones left.

While it was true that WCKD had taken to picking and choosing who got to survive, that didn’t mean there was no one else left outside of their domain. It just meant that the few of you that had survived were better at it than the rest.

Sometimes you called them the forgotten, those who WCKD couldn’t use that got left behind. In the beginning, it was like your own little maze, made up of all those who didn’t mean anything to anyone because they couldn’t use you.

You were left for dead at the mercy of the scorch, and while some people had survived, as the time ticked by, fewer and fewer of those forgotten ones survived.

Most of them ended up as cranks, at the hands of the virus that had torn through the life you once knew. It was all you had now, and as treacherous as it was, the scorch was your home.

It was all that was left.

Which was why you were so shocked to see such a big group of them still alive out here, not deterred by the dust storms in the desert or the cranks who would surely tear them apart if they got the chance.

All in all, they were way out of their depth.

You had been staying here, in what was now little more than a bunker while now, keeping a close eye on the compound to the east. WCKD got shipments of supplies sometimes, which you had taken to ripping off occasionally.

Stealing from them was hardly the worst thing you’d done out here.

It was what you had to do to survive.

However, the last thing you’d been expecting here was a group of strangers, somehow still alive against every threat in this place. Though, from the looks of it, they hadn’t been out in it very long, which could have been the reason for that.

You watched them for a while, trying to figure out who or what they were, before eventually, you decided that you had to do something about it.

They weren’t going to survive out here on their own.

What you were doing went against your every impulse, of course, as you had learned not to trust anyone or anything, not even the other survivors that could be found bunkered down all over the scorch.

The only person you could trust was you, and even that was iffy sometimes, but for some reason, you felt differently about them.

Maybe it was because they were so desperately fighting for survival, ro maybe it was just because you’d been alone for so long but whatever it was, you had already made up your mind.

They needed your help, or they were going to die out here.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you” you called, just in time for one among them to flip the switch to the power grid. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but only if they knew even less about this place than you thought they did.

Both men in yoru view tensed at your appearance, but didn’t have any time at all to address you before the crank you’d loving been calling Doris for the past six months slammed against the bars of her cage.

She was here when you showed up here and once you’d decided that there was no risk of her getting out, it was easier to keep her alive than to put her down.

In your experience, having one around that wasn’t a threat to you, helped you keep tabs on what would draw in the rest.

“Follow me” you suggested, rushing off in the opposite direction of two of the other cranks, glad to find out that at the very least, the two of them could run. If they couldn’t, you would have been forced to leave them behind.

Just because you wanted to help them didn’t mean you were all of a sudden willing to die for strangers.

You would help them, or at least try to help them, for as long as you could. The actual survival was their responsibility, what they had to do out here because they wanted to. Everyone that survived out here had to want it.

If you didn’t, you died.

That was just how it was, and nothing was going to change that.

The pair of them shared a look, just one, before following your lead. The next few minutes went by quickly, more quickly than anyone could have predicted, as you raced toward the exit, meeting up with quite a few others in the process.

From the looks of it, the gang's all here.

You didn’t say anything more until you had made it safely, for the most part, out of the building, the door closed tightly, one metal door between you and them. All of you, with the exception of one, had made it out in one piece.

“What were you doing back there? What's going on? Who are you?” came the parade of questions as you walked, already sort of leaving the rest of them in your dust. While they clearly had no idea what was out here, you did.

...And you weren’t itching to see any more of those things tonight.

“Y/N, I was living there but I guess I’m not anymore” you decided, only looking back at them to answer the first of what you assumed would be a million more questions. The more ground you could cover before the sun went down, the better off you’d be.

If they thought one of them getting bit was bad, it was going to get so much worse in the dark. Those things thrived in the dark.

“Living there, with those things? You’ve gotta be mad” one of the scoffed, immediately forcing you to stop again.

Once again reminding you why you normally shied away from helping other people all together.

“You came out of a maze, didn’t you? Cause you definitely haven't been out here” you hummed, eyeing the blonde incredulously, though when an answer did come, it wasn’t from his lips. Instead, one of the original two you’d found, Thomas you thought you’d heard, spoke.

He was lost.

“Yeah we did, you didn’t?” he wondered, a genuine look of confusion dressing his face for a second. They hadn’t really considered an alternative, and why would they?

All this time, they had been under the impression that there was nothing out there in the scorch, but you were living proof that was a lie. It made him wonder that if that was a lie, there was a good chance other things had been too.

They just couldn’t be sure what.

“No, I grew up in the scorch” you shrugged, doing your very best to ignore the way their faces twisted up when you said it out loud. Of course they couldn’t understand what that was like, because no one could.

Only people who’d done it could even imagine what it was like.

The gladers weren’t exactly thrilled about this situation, but as uncertain as they were of you, it was clear that you were that much more concerned about them. Clearly, all this time out in the scorch had made you paranoid.

Rightfully so.

“You live out here? In this?” the blonde repeated, clearly missing the point of this conversation entirely. You wanted to make this as quick and concise as possible so as to not have to talk about it again but that wasn’t about to happen.

Not with all these shanks asking so many questions.

“Alright, I’m gonna need some names. Then I’ll tell you all about the forgotten ones” you decided, folding your arms crossed your chest, keeping as calm as you could be given the circumstances.

You didn’t have all day to sit around talking about this. From the looks of their friend, you didn’t even have till sundown anymore before you had at least one crank to deal with.

“That’s Minho, Frypan, and Teresa” he, Thomas, started, pointing each of them out in turn before moving on to the next.

“Over there is Aris,” the shortest of them.

“That’s Winston” the soon to be crank

“This is Newt and I’m Thomas” he hummed, making it clear that there was some kind of connection between all of them that was much deeper than you would have thought, and confirming that was in fact his name.

At the very least, you had that going for you.

“There used to be more of us, out here, but as the time passes, there’s less” you started, deciding that a deal was a deal after all.

You told them you would explain this whole thing, after all.

“I’ve been on my own for a while, moving around to stay alive. Sometimes I stole from the WCKD supply trucks from the compound where you came from, but they aren’t even the biggest threat” you allowed, letting your eyes linger on Winston for a moment.

You knew that to them, he was family, but it was hard for you to see him as anything more than a ticking time bomb. You had just lost too many friends to cranks over the years to feel comfortable with him like that.

It was only a matter of time.

Thomas nodded as you spoke, thinking over each and every one of your words carefully.

After all, to the best he could tell, you had been living there all this time and when he stopped to think about it, it made sense. All those kids in the maze, they were there because they were immune, and they needed to be protected, but they weren’t the only ones left.

There was no way everyone else was dead.

Someone had to be alive somewhere, out there in the rubble, which wasn’t exactly wrong. There were plenty of people left, hiding out all over the scorch, just trying to survive.

“We’ll figure something out” he muttered, following your gaze to the male, who was currently holding tightly to Minho’s shoulder just to keep upright.

So far, it was just a sick feeling in his stomach and a dizziness clouding his thoughts, but soon it would be much more. You knew all the sighs, far too well, and you could have pinpointed exactly how it would happen.

It was a race against the clock.

“You can’t promise that. You don’t know this place like I do” you whispered, turning back around to continue on your way, not willing to discuss this any further. You wanted to believe in a cure as much as the next person, but you weren’t blind.

You didn’t get to be so naive.

“So why help us then? You clearly think this whole thing is hopeless anyway” Thomas called, jogging slightly to catch up with you, the rest of his group taking up the back. It wasn’t exactly easy to move through the sand, but you made it work.

All in all, it was easier for you than it was for them, just because you’d been doing it for longer.

You sighed, looking at him through the corner of your eye, desperately trying to understand what it was he wanted from you. This was a lot harder for you both than need be, as neither of you had a good history of working with others, but it was what it was.

It was plain and simple.

You didn’t want something to happen to them.

The Scorch had taken so much from so many people and you didn’t want to let it take anything else from anyone else if you could help it. At the very least, you could help guide them in this world they knew so little about.

It was all anyone could do, because there were so few of you left.

“Because it’s important,”

Thomas seemed to be determined to keep his family safe, and you could respect that. After all, he wasn’t the only one who’d had one, and you hadn’t been as successful as you’d hoped in your own quest.

If you could help him keep his people alive, you weren’t going to turn a blind eye to that.

“I lost my people, but you don’t have to lose yours” you decided, remembering the countless friends you’d had and lost over the years. The Scorch was real and dangerous, where nothing was ever guaranteed.

Between WCKD and the cranks, you’d lost everything. They would get bit; if they were immune, World In Catastrophe: Killzone Experiment Department was on top of it, and if they weren’t, they died.

News of the immune, even out here, was hard to keep hidden. They were valuable, and as best you knew, WCKD was already tracking them down.

Thankfully, you knew how this went down, and if they had a shot out here, it was with you.

“You would do that for us?” he questioned, unsure of what in the world was happening here. He thought he understood the world, though he understood what was going on but every time he got any information, it flipped all over again.

Thomas just felt like he couldn’t win, no matter what he did.

“Yeah, but you have to know Winston isn’t going to make it. He probably has half an hour left, at most” you whispered. There was no way you could guarantee he had even that much time but he certainly didn’t have any more than that.

It wasn’t really the news you wanted to give him but you didn’t have much choice in the matter. He’d been bitten and since he clearly wasn’t immune, that wasn’t going to change.

“Yeah, yeah, I know”

None of this was going to be easy but at the very least, he won’t have to do it alone.

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scribblingfangirl · 3 years

Text

WITH LOVE, THE GOSTS | Julie and The Phantoms - Part Three

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Author’s Note: I decided that this fic trilogy occurs a year after the season one final, making Julie and Y/N almost (or already) 17. Also… this part turned out waaay longer than expected. Which is why there is going to be a fourth part because I have one last idea but didn’t want to rush to write it. And to think this all started because of a rushed (haha) 1k Oneshot. I should really start to write more spontaneously, it seems like good things come out of it. Anyway, Enjoy! :D

word count: ~ 3.9k

summary: Even after meeting the boys they still aren’t tired of helping you out and they each have their own little ways to do it.

warnings: // (english is not my first language, not beta-read)

| PART ONE | PART TWO |

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Knowing that ghosts existed was an absurd feeling (even though you had always believed or hoped that there was more out there than just this world, especially with all those planets that had been discovered by NASA), but knowing that there were three certain ghosts that liked you enough to kindly haunt you, well… that was just plain unimaginable somehow. Yet, still less anxiety awakening than you expected.

After Julie let you meet the guys for the first time you thought you were prepared to accept that you would not be able to talk to them unless they played something (after all, you had Flynn to groan about that), but the occasional giggle from Julie and her glances into nothing still sent chills down your spine.

So you started to always look around very suspiciously whenever you were over at her house and make obscene hand movements just to be sure that the boys would move before you walked somewhere or sat down (which just earned chuckles from Flynn and annoyed sighs from Julie - “Just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they can’t see you. They know where you are, so please stop, or else my dad will call your parents and send you to Dr Turner as well.” The boys found it hilarious and liked to imitate you whenever they came too close to you.)

The boys also still kept doing little things for you, just not so in secret anymore (though… Reggie was never one for subtlety). Whenever you seemed to have had a bad day (or whenever they just wanted to make you smile) you knew you could count on them having something prepared for you.

You soon discovered that anything related to food (which sometimes were extremely odd and bizarre combinations) was Luke’s doing (except for pizza and meatballs, according to Julie that was always Reggie). And you knew it was Alex whenever it was something more calm and soothing, yet sometimes a little bit clumsy. And whenever it was blatantly obvious and/or slightly weird (in a good way!) it was Reggie.

Well, no. Not always in a good way. One time you came back from school and your whole room was filled with glitter and butterflies and a small note with a little ‘Sorry!’ on it was pinned to your desk - cleaning that had been a pain in the a-. But you couldn’t be angry at Reggie, even though you weren’t quite sure what his ultimate goal would have been.

Speaking of REGGIE...

All those helpful little deeds and nice gestures were always done within the limits of your house (mostly room) or Julie’s house and the studio, which is why you almost let out a loud yelp when suddenly during a math test your pen started to move on his own, filling out the empty space (because yes, you hadn’t been doing very much other than staring helplessly at the paper in front of you). Quickly you grabbed the pen as well (loosely and while trying to ignore the fact that you were practically holding hands with one of the guys) so that nobody would see a floating pen as you did a few weeks ago at Christmas.

From the corners of your eyes, you saw Julie slightly move her head towards you, as if she was listening to you - or rather someone right beside or behind you. ‘Of course. I can’t see them, so the only way to help me is by physically grabbing the pen, but Julie can hear and see them, so they (whoever this is - because let’s be honest, none of the guys really looks like a math genius) only have to tell her the corrects solutions and how to get there. My money’s on Alex.’

You were kind of shocked, and weirdly proud when Julie came up to you after class and said: “Reggie’s not so questionable after all, huh?” (Though… you should’ve guessed it, you did say subtlety wasn’t Reggie’s strong suit.) So you just giggled and shook your head while leaving some of your books in your locker (alongside the fact that Reggie was probably almost (if not!) hugging you from behind - you shuddered at that thought, it’s not like you were already awkward around living boys your age, no need to add ghosts to that list!)

A week later you and Julie entered the studio with blank faces and hanging shoulders. Julie threw a weak little wave towards the piano and sighed while you threw the blankets and snacks you were holding carelessly on the ground and let yourself fall face-first onto the couch, not being able to hide your smile anymore.

“We got our math exams back… yes the one Reggie helped us with.”

You couldn’t see what Julie was doing, but you heard her gasp and whisper “No! Reggie…” after a while. Then she was standing beside you, nudging your shoulder and willing you to sit up, but you didn’t bulge, needing a few more seconds to wipe the smile off your face again.

Faking to disgruntledly accept defeat as Julie’s nudges got stronger (the couch was really comfortable, you totally understood Luke now) you sat up and looked at Julie. “Who’s going to tell them?” you said with a heavy voice and felt how the couch dipped beside you. Raising your eyebrows you quickly glanced to the side (obviously not seeing anybody or anything) and looked back at Julie questioningly.

She nodded, telling you that it was indeed Reggie and gave you the okay to drop the bomb.

You sighed as you turned back around, facing the wall on the other side of the studio and hoped that Reggie would ignore the fact that you were probably talking to his ear or something. “So Reggie… the help you gave us on the math final? Well…,” you couldn’t keep your face straight any longer and jumped onto the couch, “WE ACED IT! I WOULD HUG YOU IF YOU WEREN’T MADE OUT OF CUTE AIR!” (Okay… maybe there was a little bit too much serotonin involved.)

Julie added smiling, “And I’m happy to announce that due to my good grades my father allowed Julie and The Phantoms to play at the upcoming Summer Music Festival!”

A guitar riff filled the studio, followed by a short drum intro and with a ‘puff!’ the boys appeared in front of you, beaming and glowing at the news. Reggie even threw a wink at you when you smiled back and said: “Thank you!”

Don't look down 'Cause we're still rising Up right now And even if we hit the ground We'll still fly Keep dreaming like we'll live forever But live it like it's now or never!

This allowed LUKE…

The music festival was an experience you would never forget. You were very happy Ray managed to persuade your parents to let you accompany Julie (sadly Flynn had no such luck). Not only did you turn 17 and the boys made sure to have the whole crowd sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you (as soon as you were back home you would add an extra point to your to-do: ‘find out how to kill ghosts a second time’), but the boys rocked the stage and Julie stood up taller and shined brighter than ever before.

Gone (yet not forgotten) were the painful shocks and the fear of never performing again and the serenity of the guys was visible.

It was the last night of the music festival when Julie got the phone call from her father. He would come by to get her the next morning and they would drive directly to visit other family members and spend the rest of the summer holidays there.

Of course, Julie was excited to see her cousins and aunts and uncles again, but she also felt bad to leave you to drive back alone (you had come with your car jam-packed with all the necessary equipment you needed and that wasn’t provided by the festival).

“Don’t worry! It’s only a four-hour drive! I’ve got good music, podcasts and audiobooks to keep me company and back home Flynn will be waiting. It sadly looks like I’m going to survive without you.”

Early the next morning Julie and some newfound fans of Julie and The Phantoms helped you load the equipment into your car and you said goodbye to Julie. Expecting the boys to just directly puff back to Los Feliz you didn’t waste any time and entered your car, connected your phone with the stereo and started to blast your favourite Broadway musicals.

You must’ve been on the road for half an hour when suddenly the playlist stopped and ‘Wake Up’ started to play.

So wake that spirit, spirit!

Confused you scrunched up your nose and touched the touch screen displaying the music system, trying to change it back to your playlist. But instead, the music changed yet again.

(Don't stop me now) 'Cause I'm having a good time (Don't stop me now) Yes, I'm havin' a good time I don't want to stop at all

“What the hell?” you muttered, staring at your stereo for a quick second before focusing back on the road, “Why you always going crazy on me dude?”

Once again the music switched.

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too?

It took you a hot minute to understand what was going on and then you couldn’t stop laughing.

Don't laugh at me, don't call me names Don't get your pleasure from my pain

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said mockingly, looking at the empty passenger seat, guessing that that’s where your invisible friend was sitting. “Your pain? I’m not the one who is able to puff wherever and whenever their heart desires and who sneaks up on innocent people.”

Silence.

“For what it’s worth. I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not like you choose this life, you deserved better than this. But I’m really glad I was able to get to know you. I’m really thankful for the light and happiness you brought back into Julie’s life.”

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

But I'm still learnin' to

using technology

You laughed. “Impressive skills nevertheless. Knowing three fitting songs and then changing them at the right time? Let me guess, Luke? Because I don’t think all of you three would fit into my tiny car full of musical equipment.”

At first, there was no music yet again, but then the slow melody of a (for you) well-known song flooded your car. It was the one Trevor Wilson song you never understood until you met the boys, the one song that was so totally different to his usual rock sound (except for the refrains, which, as you later would find out, were parts of the original lyrics Luke wrote for his version of the song).

I sing to remember the stories that used to be But I don’t write to create what could have been And as I scream words into the darkness around me They come out like a dying whisper

The kindest thing to do is to silence them and let them die To unleash my heartfelt sorrow into the sky And diminish the will to fight That pulses like fire and screams with pain through my veins

But life’s not always beautiful, it’s rare So I’mma chase it, watch you make it

Don’t need to introduce himself You will want to know his name Pushing your foundations down He is here to stay

Don’t call him a breeze when he’s a hurricane Don’t call him a tremble when he’s an earthquake Don’t call him an inconvenience Please just say his name

Leaving lyrics in my hands That I swallow like pills Like hurtful words, they rip and claw And press painfully against my chest

But no matter how painful they are I will soak them up, thinking of our hopes and wishes And as each word pushes a new pulse through my veins I keep staring out on the grave of our shared space of mind

Life’s not always beautiful, but it’s rare So I’mma chase it, watch you make it

Don’t need to introduce himself You will want to know his name Pushing your foundations down He is here to stay

Don’t call him a spark when he’s a lightning bolt Don’t call him a flicker when he’s a raging flame Don’t you dare to underestimate him Please just say his name

But even when the word flood finally comes to an end Fidgeting hands remind me of music never played

I owe him my voice I owe him my sound

So I give him this time I give him this space To sing it out loud To let him declare And let me be proud

What’s his name? (His name is Luke!) What’s his name? (His name is Luke!) What’s his name? (His name is Luke!)

How long do we say his name? (Until we explode!)

My name is Luke! (Tell your friends!)

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, the song now more emotional than ever before. You couldn’t imagine how this song must affect Luke. Thinking that his bandmate abandoned him (which honestly… he kind of did, only mentioning him in one song, not giving any money to their parents and so on) up until he heard the song for the first time.

“Luke…”

Forget about it Let's forget about it

The ensuing silence wasn’t awkward. You hummed along to the music Luke selected, sometimes it were old classics (probably his favourites), other times it seemed to be random newer hits he probably never heard before mixed with some songs from your favourite playlists.

It was nearing midday and your stomach made itself known. As if on cue a road sign hinted at a diner just up ahead. Setting the blinker you pulled into the parking lot a few moments later.

“I hope you don’t mind. I know home’s only like an hour away, but...” you began to trail off, not knowing where to look at and your stomach finished your sentence. And before you were able to grab the door handle it sprung wide open.

“Uh, what a gentleman. Thank you very much.”

The meal was over in a flash and once more you realised how much the boys actually knew about you without having actually interacted with you (perks of seeing other people without being seen themselves?).

It’s like Luke could read your wishes just from your facial expressions. Whenever you needed salt or pepper they were right there. Whenever something was too salty or had too much pepper on your drink was being pushed closer to your side. And when you accidentally spilt something and needed more napkins they magically appeared.

When you then spotted a cute little guitar keychain that reminded you of Luke that was being sold as a souvenir at the check-out it was suddenly safely tucked into your back pocket (though that was really really risky, and while you did not condone it you couldn’t really stop a ghost).

Back in your car, you didn’t even bother to turn on the stereo, knowing that Luke would take over as soon as your hands were on the steering wheel again.

However, a glance to your right presented you with a map of your surroundings, a big x hastily drawn over the Silverwood Lake in San Bernardino, which was basically just around the corner.

“You want to go swimming? We- I just ate! And my bathing suit is somewhere under that mountain of equipment on the backseat.”

Let's just get naked, just for a laugh Let's just get naked It's a trip and a half

You laughed at that, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, before stowing the map away and turning on the car. “I guess catching Reggie in the shower isn’t enough anymore?”

Hey!

“You started making it weird buddy.”

It had started to rain when you finally pulled up in your driveway, but you couldn’t be bothered to rush inside, enjoying the feeling of the cooling wetness on your skin.

“Look at that,” you said to nobody in particular, not knowing if Luke was still around or if he puffed back to the garage, “I didn’t even need to go swimming after all.”

He was. Sitting in the passenger seat, face on his arms while he leaned on the open car window, he watched you dance in the rain with a smile on his face. He was glad he decided to stick around and keep you company on that road trip. You gave him the courage to listen to My Name Is Luke for the first time (and getting to see you smile while showing off his impressive music knowledge was a bonus too). Because without knowing, you were doing little deeds for the boys too.

And made ALEX…

Whoever wrote that “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain”-quote totally forgot to mention how dangerous small summer storms can be.

Well sure, it might have been your fault for staying out for too long and deciding to let the sun that came out a little bit later dry you instead of changing into fresh and dry clothes, but whatever happened happened and you got sick. (It’s not like you had anything better to do during the last few days of your summer holidays, right?)

Flynn had been a great friend and hung out almost daily at your house, playing board games, watching movies or tv or even just discussing upcoming Julie and The Phantoms possibilities with you. But your dearest little helper had been Alex.

The blond drummer had turned into the tall brother you never had but always wanted (focus on tall because the age thing with ghosts is seriously confusing) even if he was invisible to you 100% of the time. You had the same interests and were able to bond without actually having to say any words, little gestures and reciprocations on your side were more than enough.

Julie had come up with an easy solution and had bought you some of those sound buzzers (like the ones that dogs and cats use to communicate with their owners) and recorded some simple words and phrases the boys liked to use on them. Now the boys just had to press them to be able to communicate with you without having to use pen and paper or Julie herself (sure your parents were a little bit weary and confused, but you said it was for a longer school research project and that shut them up).

Now, feeling way better than during the last few days, but still very tired, you were sitting in your bed, not really focused on the tv show (or was it a movie?) that was playing on your computer. You had been contemplating and mentally preparing yourself to get something to eat and to drink for the past 15 minutes, but the thoughts alone were exhausting and binding you to the bed. Just then a tray with a water bottle, meds and a fruit bowl floated into your room.

Suddenly wide awake and full of energy you clumsily jumped out of your bed and grabbed the tray, throwing a quick glance out of the door to see if your parents were around and slammed the door shut, wincing at the loud sound and hoping that Alex had walked out of the way (not that it would have hurt him, but you know - rude).

“Rude.”

See? He thought the same. (Julie had to specifically add this word for Alex.)

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But I would like not to get murdered or have Sam and Dean Winchester on my back because my parents think I’m possessed and need to be exorcised.”

“Me.”

“You what?”

“Me.”

“Alex… I need more context.”

“I do. Me.”

You just blinked blankly at the sound buzzers, trying to piece together what Alex was trying to say.

“Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. M-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH Y/N! WHATEVER THAT SCHOOL PROJECT IS, TELL IT I HEARD IT AND I DON’T CARE WHAT IT WANTS!” you heard your father's scream come muffled through the door.

The audience laughter from sitcoms filled your room and you groaned, grabbing a pillow and smashing it against your face.

Faintly you heard the telltale sound of a pen scribbling something on paper and when you peeked from behind the pillow a note was floating in the air in front of you. “You mean exorcise ME! You would be the one surviving!”

“What? Oh my god… yeah okay, YOU get exorcised… same thing. Both aren’t allowed to happen. Forgive my fever brain.”

“No.”

“Fork you, Alex.”

“No.”

“I have Carlos on speed-dial, I’m sure he already came up with other methods to get rid of ghosts other than the salt thing. He already told me that he’s sorry and that he thinks I might get haunted by you too with the amount of time I spend at their house.”

“No. Food.”

Confused at that topic change it took you a few seconds to answer. “What?” Looking around your gaze landed on the tray that you had deposited on your desk. “Oh right! Boy, I completely forgot how thirsty and hungry I am. Did I say thank you? Fang u!” you mumbled with your mouth full of fruit.

“No. Food.”

You swallowed down your food and took a big gulp of water. “Yes Alex, thank you. I am eating. You see? Here I am, here’s the food. The food is here and now whoops - ifs gan!”

You could basically feel the annoyance radiating from the ghost and weren’t really shocked when the pen started to scribble something down again.

“No! Argh!” He really wrote Argh… that dork really wrote Argh! “You can be worse than Reggie sometimes, but you do it on purpose and I’m just sorry for Reggie. A) Carlos thinks he got rid of us by making a french dip and B) You’re awfully lively for a supposedly sick person. I might need to use the buzzers more and see what other reactions I can provoke from your parents.”

Crumbling the note in your hands you thought ‘Challenge accepted’. “You know what? I think I’mma go back on Reggie’s offer and actually let him introduce me to Wilbur. He might know some stuff I could use to blackmail you. And you’re right! I feel much better, just very tired, but that’s nothing a little bit of fresh air can’t fix! Toodles!”

You left your room, leaving a flabbergasted ghost behind who had lost his snapback with the number of times he had been combing through his hair with his hands. And while angrily pressing a pink buzzer, the buzzer wasn't the only thing that screamed “WILLIAM!” after the girl. (That was another important sound Alex wanted to have recorded.)

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

Taglist: @sunsetcurvej @ifilwtmfc

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp x reader #julie and the phantoms x reader #luke patterson x reader #reggie peters x reader #alex mercer x reader #jatp imagine #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp one shot #jatp oneshot #julie and the phantoms oneshot #julie and the phantoms one shot #my writing #viascribbles

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omg-imagine · 3 years

Text

All We Are

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand x female!V

Summary: V is jealous after Johnny’s date with Rogue, which leads to an honest discussion about where they both stand.

Words: 1.7k

Warning: spoilers for Blistering Love side job, a little angst

A/N: Requested by an anon. This may be a bit different than what you were expecting, but I was in the feels™. Hope you still enjoy :)

Also, can we please talk about how adorable he looks in the gif??

The long drive back to the apartment was silent; the utter stillness in the car weighs heavily on V’s mind. Hands gripping tight on the steering wheel, she tries to ignore this unsettling ache she has, not allowing even an ounce of thought to pass. Though she chalks it off as a side effect of the pseudoendotrizine, this strange, hollow feeling of hers continues to stir deep inside, burning, burning and burning.

And so, she switches on the radio and focuses ahead on the stretch of road winding down the North Oak hills, the approaching lights of Night City glowing brighter against the inky skies. A fresh breeze flows into the open windows, dulling the tension for a moment.

A moment of tranquility that ends far too soon, yet it was a moment V’s at least grateful to have.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Johnny points out, the gruff baritone of his voice piercing the air. “An enny for your thoughts?”

Kicking his feet up on the dashboard, his aviators glint in the silver moonlight, making him appear impossibly more obnoxious than he usually is. He acts as if he’s not aware of the recent thoughts plaguing V’s head, but perhaps that truly was the case. If it were, then she would be surprised— Johnny often invades her mind, poking and prodding at things he shouldn’t be. For a while, she assumes he knows.

“Just tired,” V replies monotonously. Her answer was far from a lie; she really was tired. Exhausted, even. All she wants is to collapse into bed, pass out, and hope that for a few short hours, she can forget about today, about everything.

“Huh,” he breathes out, and V spares him not a single glance. “Pretty sure somethin’ was up. You’ve been actin’ weird since we left the drive-in.”

A chuckle rumbles through her chest. V still finds it unusual for Johnny to act so… concerned. Almost caring, if she had to be honest. She’s noticed a change in him recently, which became apparent after their conversation in the oil fields. He’s a lot softer now, sometimes sweet, both in his own unique way, of course. As if his rough edges were slightly smoothed out with sandpaper, enough that they no longer cut and make her bleed.

V would often catch him staring when he thinks she’s not looking. She also doesn’t fail to miss the small smile that creeps across his face as she talks. And in those passing seconds that lasts an eternity when the relic malfunctions, Johnny was there to offer her comfort. He’d kneel down to the ground while she coils in agony, whispering promises that this will all be over soon. That one way or another, they would get rid of that goddamn chip slotted in V’s head and ultimately save her life.

Life. Life has a funny way of unraveling itself. Fuck, this all seems like a cruel joke the universe is playing on V. Fate is rarely kind to her, a sad fact she’s accepted over the years. Never would she have imagined that after experiencing the pain of heartbreak and loss, she’d find herself falling for someone at the worst possible time.

And that someone is the imprisoned digital ghost of a rockerboy-turned-terrorist studying her from the passenger seat.

But V’s adamant in denying it. Her life was too fucking complicated for this right now.

“Are you capable of shutting the fuck up for two seconds?” V bitterly snaps, the hands on the wheel clenching stiffly as her jaw. “You got what you wanted tonight. Finally got your dick wet after fifty years, so leave me the hell alone, would’ya?!”

She doesn’t mean to act on her muted anger, but it manages to get the best of her. V knows why, and because of it, she crumbles. She crumbles like the walls she’s built around herself. Like the facade she’s been hiding behind for the past couple of months. Because underneath the dirt and grime, V was just a poor, tragic soul, more worried about losing the man she couldn’t have than her awaiting death.

“Really think that’s what happened?” Johnny asks, pushing his shades up to his head as he shifts to sit up straight in his seat.

V grits her teeth, eyes remaining locked on the road. She had woken up an hour or two after Johnny took over, finding her lips still warm, still swollen. Her hair was tousled, and she had been stripped off of most of her clothes; the scent of Rogue’s perfume lingering on her skin. She didn’t need him to recount; it was all clear to her what had transpired. It was what she agreed on to make him happy, a date with the Afterlife fixer and whatever it could lead up to.

In the end, V regretted it, not because Johnny used her body to sleep with someone. But because even after the rollercoaster ride, the dog tags, the private concerts, and the heart-to-heart they had at his gravesite, she still wasn��t his. He was too hung up over Rogue, and she couldn’t blame him. Having shared a lengthy history, there was no doubt Johnny wouldn’t snatch up the opportunity to win her back.

But then where does that leave V?

“The fuck is wrong, V? Don’t make me figure it out by myself.”

Biting the edge of her lip, she ignores Johnny’s latest question and contemplates swallowing an omega blocker. She doesn’t even care that he’s threatening to search for the truth without her permission. Choosing not to do so, he keeps pressing on regardless, and V was getting pissed off. When he doesn’t stop, she loses her temper and slams on the brakes, the Porsche coming to a screeching halt on a dead street.

Huffing, V pulls over to the side, shutting the car’s engine as Johnny is left bewildered by her actions. Peace and quiet. She yearns for peace and quiet, and the pills would do the trick in an instant. Her hand reaches for the bottle in her jacket pocket, the pounding of her heart echoing in her ears. Popping the cap open, she turns her head to the side, unable to help herself. She sees the tenderness etched in his features, a wordless plea shining in his dark eyes.

“V… Tell me.”

V’s gaze slowly falters, her consciousness at war with itself. The storm of anger in her calms, yet she needs to know what her next move is. She’s always been terrible at this sort of thing, dealing with her feelings and shit. Growing up in the streets of Heywood, she’s learned how to shut people out and keep them out. Biggest rule she had imposed on herself was to never, ever fall for a choom, but this time was different. Despite him being a mere figment of her imagination, she feels safe around Johnny, appreciated and content. The two understand each other on a level nobody else has done. They’ve been through literal hell and would only sink further into it to find a way to survive.

A chrome palm comes to rest on V’s cheek, the sensation oddly warm, oddly familiar. Her attention flickers back to Johnny as he strokes her weary face. His touch was delicate, movements careful and controlled. He treats her as if she were porcelain, afraid that his metal hand would cause her to crack. V exhales deeply, relishing the feeling she’s longed from the moment she had broken that dumb rule of hers.

“Go ahead,” she mumbles, giving Johnny consent for him to read her mind. It only takes a second, maybe even less. V half expects his shit-eating grin to make its appearance. She couldn’t forget how cocky he was, and she thought this would certainly rub his ego.

It never comes. Instead, Johnny’s lips turn up into a genuine smile, one softer than the way his black hair falls to frame his face. V swears she was floating; this doesn’t feel all that real to her. It couldn’t be real. But as the first faint slivers of sunlight appear on the horizon, she starts to believe that she isn’t dreaming nor hallucinating. She was still very much wide awake.

“Didn’t know you were the jealous type,” Johnny quips as he leans closer. “You had no reason to be jealous, princess.”

“Why not?”

“Nothin’ happen between Rogue and me,” he clarifies, his fingers pushing back her locks. “Yeah, we made out a little, but I couldn’t go through with it. Wanna know why?”

V nods.

“’Cause I realized that ship sailed a long time ago. We’re too different people now; she’s got her own life, while I got mine sittin’ right here.”

“Johnny…” she murmurs his name as he brings up his other hand to cradle her face. “I wanted to have what you and Rogue had, minus the shitty things you did. But I could feel how much you loved her, how you basically worshipped the ground she walked on. Then I thought, can’t compete with her. She’s a livin’ legend, a badass. Meanwhile, I could be dead the next minute or two, either by this fuckin’ relic or a bullet.”

“Trust me, V, you wouldn’t want that,” Johnny returns, resting his forehead against hers. How could he feel so real? “What you and I have is special. Ain’t felt this way before, not even with Rogue or Alt. Like I said, you’re the fuckin’ closest to me. These feelings you’re afraid of? Shit, I have them too, and I’m fuckin’ terrified. But knowing that you’re here and we both share them, it makes things a lot less scary.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Johnny laughs softly. “Gotta spell it out for ya, huh? Well then, here it goes; V, I love you. I don’t throw that word around randomly, but know that it’s what I feel whenever I think of you.”

V doesn’t waste a second longer. Her lips meet his for a kiss that is gentle and bruising, all at once. They hold one another close, their grasps taut so that the other wouldn’t slip away, not wanting to lose what they’ve gained. Time goes by, ticking in the background as they kiss again and again, but to them, it’s slow, nearly everlasting.

And when it was over, when they finally had to part, they were breathless, panting.

“Love you too, Johnny,” she murmurs into his skin, tone dripping with affection as he hums in response.

Night melds into day, and the city comes back to its fullest life. V kisses Johnny a final time before driving back to the place she calls home, even though she’s found her true one in his heart.

—

Permanent Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @keandrews @feminine-machinegun @fanficsrusz @thehumanistsdiary @flaminasteroid @rowserein @unaspiringwritings @planetkt @breakthenight @baphometwolf666 @rdjloverxxx

Johnny Silverhand Tags: @silverse @overheardatthecontinental @meshlababy @ataraxydreams @ineedpeetalikehekneadsbread @savsselfinserts @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @donakamark

*If you would like to be added to the taglist, feel free to send me an ask or DM!

#johnny silverhand x v #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand x reader #johnny silverhand fanfic

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tloujm · 3 years

Text

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah.

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you.

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further.

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you.

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented.

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

#TLOU #TLOU2 #TLOUII #the last of us #the last of us joel #the last of us fanfic #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us fanfiction #tlou ellie #tlou joel #tlou fanfiction #tlou oc #naughty dog #Joel Miller #joel x reader #joel miller fanfic #Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

I don’t knowwww what this is but I love this senbon user.

Genma x femreader

Part two here

Your feet land on the road a little ways away from the gate, jumping from the treetops and landing silently.

You’ve been gone for awhile, on a deep undercover mission that kept you away for a few years and you were ready to finally be home again.

You get to the closed gate and feel your heart skip when Genma appears in front of you

“State your name and business” he says and clicks his senbon against his teeth.

You place a hand on your hip, fingers messing with your headband around your waist as a belt as you smirk “I know I’ve been gone a while Genma, but I didn’t think I was that forgettable to you” you raise your hand and cover your heart “my heart actually hurts”

You watch the recognition enter his eyes as he smiles with the senbon in his teeth “y/n. It’s so good to see you” he says and pulls you into a hug. “You too Genma” you say into his neck, closing your eyes tight so you don’t cry.

“Sorry about the gate” he says as he closes it again behind you both “we’ve had some assassination threats” you say a soft oh and nod your head “no worries. I’m happy to be home I gotta tell you. I should find a place to stay” you scratch your neck and laugh softly “since all my things are in storage” you go to turn but he grabs your hand “can I find you later? To catch up?” You smile and nod “I’d love that”

After debriefing with the Hokage you found an inn to stay in not far from where your things were stored then you went to go buy some food and new clothes that weren’t from your mission.

You had a few bags in your hand as you walked the streets of the village, a small smile on your lips and a light heart as you familiarized yourself with your home town again.

“There you are” he says as he hops from the room of the buildings to standing next to you.

“Nice to see you again Genma” you said with a soft smile and a sparkle in your eye that make his heart race.

Even after all this time his feelings for you remain unchanged.

He takes the bags from your hands and offers you his elbow, which you take with a small laugh and a “thank you”

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, looking up at him your chin brushing his shoulder. He smirks at the way his skin comes alive at your touch and the way his stomach fills with butterflies as you easy fall back into your old closer than just friends ways.

“No I haven’t. Where would you like to go?” You notice the way his eyes soften when he looks at you and the way his usual smirk seems more genuine. “Take me to your favorite place” you say and he laughs with a nod “you got it”

“I’m so glad this place is still here” you say as they place two bowls of pumpkin soup down on the table. “I’m pretty sure we’re still in business because of Genma here” the owner says from the back and you laugh “I bet. I’ve seen him put away a lot of pumpkin soup before” you wink at him as you blow softly across your soup to cool it down.

“Tell me about your mission” he asks as he takes another bite and you smirk “well. I guess it isn’t really classified anymore” you say and wipe your lips with a napkin

“I had to go undercover and infiltrate the growing army of rouge ninjas that were in the north” his eyes widen slightly, he’s heard stories about them and even tho they were a lesser version of the Akatsuki they were still a tough group.

“I went through the ranks until I was the right hand man of the head of the group who turned out to be a girl. She was an amazing person if she wasn’t so absolutely crazy.” You take another bite and he leans forward a little “that’s where you’ve been all these years? It makes sense as to why the missions involving them suddenly stopped” he says and scratches behind his neck

“After I made my way to the top, they were planning on wiping out the village hidden in the mist . I sent word back to the Hokage who told the Mizukage, I worked hand in hand with them to take down the entire army and now I’m here” you shrug and he’s looking at you with shocked eyes.

“What?” You ask with a laugh and he just chuckles “nothing I just.. I always just thought you’d be my cute little best friend from daycare” you laugh and run your hand through your hair

Before you can respond a member of the ANBU appears beside your table “the Hokage needs to see you both right away”

Your hands run down your face as you sigh deeply “so she survived and then escaped and is coming after me?” The Hokage nods “I’m placing Genma as your bodyguard and for now you’ll go into hiding, to one of the safe houses” you scowl, wanting to protest, to say how you can take care of yourself, but you honestly didn’t even know if it was the truth.

You nod once “yes, lord sixth”

Genma beside you tenses his jaw and nods once, he won’t lie, he’s excited to spend so much time with you, he just wishes it was with better circumstances.

“How long has it been? Since we were Chunin I think” he says as the gates close behind you

“Since we went on a mission together? Yeah since I was placed on your team because my team was all out of commission. You iced me out for the first day because you thought I was cute”

He gasps “I did not!”

You laugh and chase your head “yeah sure. So you ignored me but stared at me the entire time for the first day but then your excuse the second day was” you imitate his kid voice “I had something in my eye”

He can’t help but laugh with you, his cheeks dusting a little pink “it was true. I had something in my eye” he sticks with it and you just sigh and shake your head “yeah it was awkward 12 yr old feelings” you say back and he just scoffs, sticking to his original story.

You get to the safe house around nightfall, a small farm house on the outskirts of a smaller town that consisted of a small market and a couple shops, guessing that less than 200 people lived around here.

You flick the light switch and wait in the doorway as the lights flicker before staying on, a low light cast across a small living room with a hallway and an attached kitchen. Genma checks the house and secures it as you kick off your shoes and look through the kitchen.

“We will have to hit the market in the morning. Maybe we could go back to that ramen place we passed” you say as you meet him in the living room.

“There’s only one bedroom since were supposed to be acting as a couple, you can take the bed and I’ll take the couch” he says, twisting his senbon in his mouth and avoiding your eye as he tries to not imagine sharing a bed with you.

You laugh “that’s not fair though. How about we Rock Paper Scissors or thumb war or something else?” You can see the pink on his sheets and you’re pretty sure he’s thinking of the same thing you are, sleeping in the same bed.

“Yeah okay. Thumb war” he says with a nod, still not looking at you. He knows he could lose it easy and still give you to bed.

You cross the room to him and hold out your hand, he finally meets your eye as his finger slick with yours. His fingers were warm against your usual cold fingers and you could feel his calluses against your skin. “Ready?” You asks, eyes locked on his and a small smirk on your lips.

“Go!” You say and his longer thumb reaches for yours as you dodge it with a giggle, your left hand reaching out to hold his bicep as you dodge his thumb, he’s feigning trying to win until your thumb locks across his and for a second he forgets what he’s even doing, he’s too caught up in the way your eyes sparkle as you look at your thumb, your laughter that hasn’t changed since you were a kid. All those times you would joke together as kids and hanging out when you grew up. Meeting you again after your days in the ANBU, then seeing you again this morning, the way his heart has only beat for you his whole life.

He gasps softly when you squeal, looking up into his eyes with a grin “I win!” You say and his cheeks flush, your hand still on his arm and your fingers still locked with his, “congrats! You get the bed” he says, throat a little dry.

“Now let’s clean up and head to dinner” you say, dropping his hand. His hand feels empty without the feeling of your fingers against his but he swallows hard and shoves his hands in his pockets with a nod, pretending that your grin isn’t making his heart race.

There’s two bathrooms, one downstairs and one connected to the bedroom. You get ready in the bedroom bathroom and him in the other.

You know you’ll bathe later but for dinner you still want to look good. You’re supposed to sell that youre married to Genma so you dress like you would if you were going out with your husband.

You take off your headband and wash your face with cool water before putting on a little makeup and fixing up your hair. You change into a dark green dress that hits just above your knees. You spray a little perfume that you just bought before your mission, then head down the stairs.

You smile when you see him, sitting on the couch and twisting a kunai in his fingers as he waits.

“I have something for you” you say with a smirk as your reach the bottom of the steps.

“What is it?” He asks and stores his kunai before looking up at you and gasping softly, his eyes widening as he takes you in, his eyes slowly moving down your body before landing back on your face

He stands and walks to you “you look good” he says in a whisper and swallows hard, his cheeks blushing and warm.

“Thank you. So do you” you say and nod as you look him over, he’s changed out of anything that would give him away as a ninja. He’s wearing a dark shirt and dark pants that you realize are just a little bit fancier than you would have guessed he’d own. You look nice, like a couple that would blend in with the village.

You hold out your hand and open your palm, showing two matching rings “whataya say Genma? Will you fake marry me?” You smile softly and he takes the ring from your palm “I do” he says with a smirk and you chuckle as you slide the ring down your left hand finger.

“One more thing” you say and reach up, untying his headband and running your hand through his hair as you fix his headband hair. You hand it to him and he smiles softly “now we look like any young couple who moved to the country” he puts his headband in his bag and then held the door open to you “shall we?” He asks and you nod, taking his arm with a smile.

ꕥone month laterꕥ

You’re weeding your garden you have out front, the small sprouts bringing joy to your heart. So far they haven’t been able to find her so for now you’re still stuck here.

Genma is fixing a leak in the roof, the sound of his hammer reaching your ears as you wipe your dirty hands on your apron. You place the weeds in the compost pile at the back edge of the yard as Genma climbs down the ladder.

“All fixed?” You ask with a smile, your sundress flowing against your legs in the breeze and he feels his heart hammer against his ribs. You looked like the prettiest housewife he could almost picture this being his real life.

“All fixed” he says with a grin, a spare nail still in his teeth instead of his usual senbon. He had sweat lining his forehead and his hair tied back in a low bun, his face looks a little sun kissed and you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering to imagining him as your househusband.

Your cheeks feel warm and you wipe your hands on your apron again before taking it off and walking up to him, folding it and using a clean space to dab his forehead “let’s go inside, I’ll make something light for lunch” he clears his throat, grateful for the sunburn on his cheeks that he knows won’t show his blush. “Sounds good” he says with a semi strained voice, trying not to show how flustered you made him.

That evening, after dinner and bathing, you head downstairs to find Genma but pause when he’s nowhere to be found.

You find the door open but before heading out you grab his sweatshirt he had over the side of the couch and throw it over your head.

You take a few steps off the porch and hear a soft whistle, pulling your attention to the roof. You feel your heart skip when you turn and spot him laying against the roof, the moonlight glistening off his usual senbon he still used at the house.

You appear beside him and sit down, pulling your knees up to your chest and tucking them inside your sweatshirt.

“Isn’t it funny that we went from being apart for years to being thrown together for who knows how long?” His voice was a whisper but it felt loud because of how alone and quiet you where on this little farm.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this. You probably have a girlfriend back at the village who’s gonna hate me when we get back” you say as you rest your forehead on your knees

Yes you’ve lived together for a month but you haven’t brought up relationships because then you’d have to admit the feelings you had for him.

He laughs and leans up, his elbows around his knees “no ones gonna hate you” he says and you meet his eye

“So then she’s really nice? That’s good. I always hoped you’d end up with someone nice” your voice was strained and he tilts his head, his tongue turning the senbon

“No” he says and you raise your eyebrows “so she’s mean? I didn’t expect you to be ..” he cuts you off with a laugh “no I mean.. no she”

Your eyes widen a little then you laugh “ohhh so you have a boyfriend. Well if you’re happy that’s..” he groans and falls back, his arms above his head exasperated.

He takes his senbon from his mouth and then lays his arm back down, looking up at the stars as he says in a monotone voice “I’m sorry I should have made it more clear. I’m not dating anyone”

You feel your cheeks heat up as your soul fills to the brim with embarrassment. “Oh”

You wait until your face cools off before you lean back and look up at the sky with him. You look up at the stars for just a moment before you decide to make a move and adjust your body, scooting up to lay your head against his arm.

“I’m glad” you whisper and pause for a moment “that no one is going to hate me when we get back”

You were glad he wasn’t dating anyone. Glad that he was single and that your feelings have an option to be reciprocated.

His heart was racing in his throat, his fingers holding his senbon in a vice grip as your hair tickles the skin on his arm.

Over this last month all of his feelings from childhood had returned with a vengeance. He thought that maybe they were the same feelings but as the days progressed he’s learned how much stronger they have become for you. How he’s been desperately yearning to kiss you every night here.

The way your hair is crazy in the mornings, the way you yawn and rub your eyes as you drink coffee, the way your eyes sparkle in the sun as you work in the yard, these little sides of you that he feels lucky to be witnessing.

He loves the way the house smells like your shampoo after you bathe, the way you laugh at his jokes even if they aren’t very funny but your laughs are always genuine.

The way you hold his hand and kiss his cheek when you go to town makes his heart race every time, he won’t ever get used to the feeling. He’s a ninja but how hard he’s tried to dig out all his feelings and do away with them, he can never seem to do it. You’ll give him one of those looks where he feels like he’d do anything for you, your smile and the way your eyes soften when they see him, and he can’t do it. He knows this is an act but he can’t help but wish it was real.

“Y/n I need to tell you something” he says and as you turn to look up at him, you sense chakra. He’s caught it just a moment before you and he’s pulling you to his chest, throwing his senbon. the sound of it hitting a kunai making your palms sweat as you quickly get your shit together.

“It’s her” you say and then she appears on the ground, looking up at you both with her hands out and a smile.

“I’m just here to talk” she says and you feel a chill down your spine “you don’t talk, Mina! We both know that” you shout back and she just laughs.

Genma goes to attack and you watch as it goes in slow motion, one moment he’s throwing a kunai and flying through the air, the next he’s pinned to the ground by another Ninja who was hidden in the ground, popping up from your garden and holding him fast. A little part of your heart twinges with sadness for your baby garden.

You move into the defensive, not knowing what to do next since you didn’t have any weapons with you expect for your jutsu. You didn’t what to do, Genma was trapped and you had to fight her with no weapons and who knows how many people she had in hiding.

“I’m seriously here to talk so you can come down now” she says with an excited lilt “don’t do it!” Genma shouts but it’s cut off by the sound of his agonized groaning “i think you should do it!” She sings and you don’t hesitate in jumping to the ground and walking through the dirt path towards her

“Take me and let him go” you say and she laughs hard, wiping away tears, “how about I kill you first and make him watch” she says and then immediately throws a handful of Kunai your way.

You gasp and dodge them easily, not seeing her move through the dark and and cutting your arm with the kunai in his hand.

“The ritual is compete” she says with an insane laugh and you feel your body become frozen, paralyzed.

Your eyes look to her and notice how her skin has changed to black, covered in white symbols where bones would be. “She’s like Hidan” Genma says in shock as you watch her cackle in front of you, her arms out wide with the kunai still in her hand.

“Do you know how much trouble I went through to find you?” She asks and then brings the Kunai down into her thigh making you gasp when your thigh starts to bleed from the deep slice.

“Don’t worry tho, I’ll make sure to miss all your vital spots until we’re done talking”

Your heart is pounding with fear. There isn’t much you can do right now, you know you can’t get out of this and Genma is detained. You’re going to die.

“I’m sorry Mina” you say between deep gasps of air through the pain “I was just following orders”

She cackles and you can feel her hatred coming form her in waves. The Kunai comes to her neck and you watch blood trickle down the side of her skin before you even felt it start to run down your own.

You gasp when she slowly pushes the knife deeper, the wound in your neck flowing more. “Maybe I’m done talking now” she whispers out and goes eerily quiet as she stares at the blood coming from your neck.

“No.. stop!” Genma is fighting against the other ninja, struggling but not getting anywhere.

“Genma” you whisper out but he stills when he hears your voice “it’ll be okay” you say, feeling your eyes sting but refusing to cry in front of her.

“Mina just go. Why are you doing this? You could run. You could go live the life you’ve always wanted and hoped for. The little farm you told me about. You can go do that you have been given this chance you don’t need to use it for revenge. You can be happy”

“Shut up!” She shouts at you, her eyes overflowing with tears

“I wanted that life with you!” she says through gritted teeth and you gasp softly, your heart racing. You never knew that’s how she felt for you.

“But if I can’t have you” she says, eyes wide and crazy, the tears suddenly stopping and turning to crazy chuckles “then no one can” she finishes her sentence in a quiet calm voice that’s even more eerily sounding than her laughter.

She raises her arm back and then screams as she brings it down to her throat with all the force she can muster! Your eyes widen in shock and you gasp, expecting to have it be your final moment but feeling relief flood your body when you hear the words from Shikamaru in the dark “shadow possession, complete”

Turns out Shikamaru and a few ANBU had been tracking her for a week. They would have caught her sooner but Kiba was on a different mission and couldn’t help.

The fight was quick after that, you don’t really remember most of it. Once Genma was free he was by your side and holding gauze to your leg while you held one to your neck.

“Thank you” you whisper to him as you sit in the dirt, watching as he dresses your wound.

“This is all my fault. I let my guard down. I was thrown off by seeing you in my sweatshirt. You look so good I got distracted. I’m sorry I let you get hurt” his eyes were on his hands and your leg as he finishes tying the bandages, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know what he just confessed to.

Your hands take his into your own, the wound on your neck stopped bleeding and isn’t more than a scratch.

“Genma” you say softly and wait until he meets your eye. His senbon was back in his teeth and you heard the gentle grinding sound as he bit down against it.

You reach up and cup his jaw “I worry about your teeth” you joke and he rolls his eyes, relaxing his jaw before looking back to your eye.

“We should get going. You should see a doctor about that wound” Shikamaru said, coming back from taking care of Mina and her accomplice and sending them off with a couple ANBU.

Your eyes don’t leave Genma’s but you drop your hands “okay. My leg isn’t too bad so I can pack up my things real quick. Could you help me?” Genma nods immediately and picks you up into his arms bridal style, carrying you back towards the house.

As you stand on your good leg at the bathroom sink, Genma goes to clean up his things. A quick sweep of the home since you kept it spotless normally in preparation.

You look at yourself in the mirror and sigh, brushing your hair behind your shoulder as you look at the cuts on your neck.

“Do you think they’ll scar?” You ask when he appears in the doorway, his pack over a shoulder.

“I doubt it. They aren’t very deep. If they do scar it will be gone in a year” you scowl and look away, going to grab your small bag if things to add to your pack on the bed.

You go to hop your way out but he drops his bag and puts his arm around your waist, easily taking your weight as he helps you back to the bed.

“Shikamaru will take my bag, I’ll carry you back” he says and doesn’t wait for you to say anything, just turns and crouches, waiting for you to climb up.

You chuckle “I’ll be fine” you say and he clicks his senbon before leaning back and grabbing your calves, gently pulling you so you lose balance with a gasp and fall into him.

“We’re ready” Genma says, not even ten minutes after Shikamaru said it was time to leave. You’re scowling but holding on to his shoulders tight.

Genma throws his pack to him and he catches it in silence, putting over his shoulder. “Let’s go”

His hands are firm against your thighs as he carries you and you notice how he never forgets about your wound, is always gentle with you whenever he has to adjust or move you.

“It’s gonna be weird not living with you” you admit with a small chuckle and his hands squeeze your legs gently “oh yeah. I bet you’ll miss having fresh coffee made for you in the morning and never having to wash a dish” you laugh and playfully slap his shoulder “and you’ll miss my cooking every meal!” He chuckles and nods “you know it. You’re a queen of the kitchen” you feel your cheeks warm and are grateful that he can’t see.

“We’re here” Shikamaru says and you feel your stomach fill with relief until it gets taken over by worry when you realize you still don’t have anywhere to stay. Shikamaru heads off to talk to the Hokage as Genma brings you to the hospital to get looked at.

“I’ll be here when you’re done” he says as he sets you on the exam table and your eyes widen “you will be?” He raises his eyebrows with a smirk “of course I will be” you feel your cheeks warm, the mission was over so you just expected him to go his way as you go yours. You nod, feeling your eyes sting again with your feelings as you smile shyly “thank you Genma”

A few medical ninjas heal your leg up and disinfect and bandage up your neck when you exit the room, true to his word, Genma is sitting on the chair across the hall with his head relaxed against the wall behind him. His eyes are closed and you can tell he’s sleeping, his senbon hanging in the edge of his lips.

You crouch in front of him and smile softly as you look him over. His messy hair and his recreational clothes, he was missing his headband still and has dirt on his cheeks.

You reach up and softly run your fingers through his hair, smiling when his eyes flutter open. “Good morning sleepy head” you say softly and he takes a deep inhale, a soft smile on his lips as he meets your eye. “Good morning beautiful” he says and rubs his eyes.

“Wanna get some breakfast?” You ask, fingers still moving slowly through his soft hair. “God yes” he says and you laugh, standing with a groan before offering him your left hand, which he takes without hesitation and stands.

“How’s your leg?” He asks, lacing his fingers together with yours and making your heart flutter. “It’s fine. Nothing major was hit, should just be a bruise now.” You want to ask why he’s holding your hand. Want to point out how he doesn’t have to do that anymore since this is your village and you’re not pretending anymore, but you don’t. You don’t ask. You just savor the feeling knowing it’s probably the last time.

You yawn hard as you sit across from him at the table, waiting for your food to be delivered as you sit quietly with him. You both looked exhausted, exactly like you’ve been traveling all night. You look up from the picture on the wall you were zoned out staring at and feel your cheeks warm when you catch him looking at you.

“What?” You ask with a small chuckle and he just smiles “nothing. Just looking” he says and it makes your heart flutter. “Would have thought you looked enough over the last month” he chuckles “not nearly enough if I’m being honest” he admits quietly and you chuckle at the softness.

“Stay with me” he says as he takes a bit of his pumpkin soup. “What?” You ask, choking on your own spit.

“Stay with me while you find your own place. Your stuff is still in storage right?” You feel your cheeks warm as you wipe off your mouth “yeah that’s true but I don’t want to impose I can just stay at the inn” he shakes his head “no. Stay with me. I have more than enough room” you laugh “I’m not gonna be able to change your mind Huh?” He shakes his head with a small smile “I insist”

He takes another bite of his soup and sighs “it’s not as good as yours” he says a little sadly and for some reason it fills your heart full of pride. “I’m sorry I ruined your favorite meal” you say and he laughs, running his hands through his hair and sticks his senbon back in his teeth. “It just means I’ll need you to make it for me now” he says and you laugh “anytime. But just for you” you say back and you feel as if your heart could burst.

After your meal he takes your hand again in his, lifting it and using his thumb to twist the fake wedding band “I guess we should take these off Huh?”

You nod “yeah probably. Since the mission is over” he sighs and slips yours off before he takes his off and puts them both in his pocket before he takes your hand again, your pack over his shoulder.

“We don’t have to hold hands anymore either. And I could take my pack..” your voice sounds as sad as you feel but you doubt you’d even be able to hide it.

“Oh” he says softly “yeah. You’re right” he hesitates for just a moment before dropping your hand and shoving his roughly into his pocket. He doesn’t give your bag to you though, which makes you smirk, your hand moving behind your back to hold your elbow.

The first night at his place was nice, you insisted on taking his couch and he couldn’t find a good enough excuse to change your mind. You helped clean off the dust and air out the apartment before he went out to stock up on fresh groceries as you shower.

When you get out the shower you wander around his bedroom, more or less snooping. You open his closet and hum in approval at the collection of comfortable clothing he has as well as his nice fancier clothing. You take one of the comfy jackets off a hanger and throw it on before you continue your trek through his apartment.

His apartment was spacious even though it was one bedroom. His room was large and open, a bed in the middle with amazing light when the sunrises. It has a couch at the end of the bed, a large bathroom, and decent closet. It had a sliding glass door and a small balcony that had a chair and table.

You sat on the side of the bed and opened the top drawer of the bedside table.

Exactly what you expected from him, a kunai and a box of condoms that were a particularly larger size than you would have assumed he would have.

“You big snoop” he says with evident laugh in his voice as he catches you with condoms in your hand.

You gasp and flail, the box hitting the headboard of his bed and falling behind you on the bed as you just sigh and hide your face in your hands.

“That was funny. You shoulda seen your face” he says with a laugh and you just keep your face hidden, your cheeks hot under your palms.

“God Genma you scared me” you say and he just laughs and sits beside you on the bed.

With a low groan, he leans slowly behind you and grabs the box of condoms. “If you wanted to know what size condoms I use, you could have just asked” he said with a twirl of his senbon and you let out a squeak that makes his skin tingle.

You decide to try and tip the scale of his cockiness so you quickly move, throwing your leg across him and pushing him down to the bed with your hands.

You lean in close to his ear and his hands move to grip your thighs “would you have told me... or shown me?” You ask, teeth connecting to his ear as you bite him gently, smirking when his breath hitches.

You lean up, sliding your hands down his chest and looking down at him with a smile for a moment before you take his senbon from his mouth and stick it between your teeth before you wink and slide from his lap to your feet. Walking out of the door with a satisfied hum and a swing of your hips.

You walk down the hallway into his spacious and homey living room, your toes appreciating the soft rug as you cross the living room to the dining room and kitchen, towards the brown paper sacks he must have left on the table.

“Oooh you got melon. I love melon.” You say with a smirk, twisting the senbon around with your tongue as you make eye contact with him as he comes across the room.

“I know you love it” he says and stands beside you, placing his hand on your low back as he leans down and takes the end of his senbon into his teeth and you smile, letting him take it from your mouth.

You know the condom moment made the air more tense between you, but you really liked it. It felt real, like the mission was just a show but now this, this!, is real flirting! Real feelings!

“That wasn’t very nice what you did in there” he says and you laugh “I’m sorry Genma. Did I get you worked up just to leave? How rude of me.” You say as you cut the melon.

“Maybe don’t dish out the teasing if you can’t handle it back” you say and offer him a small bite of melon. He rolls his eyes and leans down but instead of popping it into his mouth you quickly put it in your own with a grin

“Hey!” He says and you chuckle “what are ya going to do about it? Huh?” You tease and he places a hand on your hip and pulls you to his chest, a little squeak leaving your lips making him smirk.

“I wanted a taste” he says his voice low and his eyes playful. you smile, your hand on his chest can feel his racing heart and you reach up, taking his senbon as you say “then take one” his lips hitting yours less than a second later.

#genma #genma x reader #Genma x you #Genma x y/n #Genma and fem!reader #Genma fanfiction #naruto fanfiction #naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden fanfiction

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dreamwraith · 3 years

Text

DxS did actually develop in canon

Before I get started, I gotta be upfront, I don't ship it. I prefer to avoid it, in fact. My friends and I rewatched the series last year, though, and watching the episodes all together like that made something stand out to me. The criticism the ship gets about lacking development is...off point. It develops! Even in the third season, the growth is there and it's beautiful and subtle because it builds upon each episode so you really only see it when it's watched all together.

And I think part of the problem is the popular idea that Sam and Danny were crushing on each other before the series began or even just early in the first season, and, like, if you ship these two, please believe me, you don't want that. You don't want to start at the finish line, you'll have gone nowhere, and that is why people assume it didn't have any growth.

But you can see in the first instance when Danny and Sam are called a couple in Mystery Meat, Sam sounds and looks offended while Danny is incredulous. Even in Parental Bonding, Sam doesn't show a preference for Danny over Tucker, she just wants a friend to invite her because her ideals aren't going to let her go to "some stupid dance" unless she has the excuse she's doing it for someone else. The narration is obviously moving her and Danny in that direction, but they're not feeling anything yet. She and Danny dance, and there is none of the blushing you see in later episodes.

Why is this?

Because GROWTH

I don't think the romantic subplot really even starts to affect them until the fake-out-make-out happens in Shades of Gray. They're still only friends after it happens, it's incredibly awkward, they're cringing because they just crossed a line, necessary or not. If you watch the scene without any expectations for the coming relationship, Danny is very alarmed that Sam is kissing him. He’s freaking the freak out, he lost control of his powers (just as Sam had hoped) and he’s wide-eyed and pounding his fists on the ground. He did not expect this AT ALL. Any of it. And even when he sits up and he has that half-lidded look on his face, he’s not looking at Sam, he’s just looking off into space in a very “a girl just kissed me” boy daze. Congrats, Danny. He snaps out of it once Sam speaks, and then they both get this grimace on their face. I don’t think it has anything to do with secret feelings, I think it’s because people have been teasing them about being lovebirds and now they’re going to get mocked and teased mercilessly, and oh fudge.

So they don’t feel anything there, BUT the simple act of kissing gets them thinking. It must get them thinking because the next episode is Fanning the Flames.

The important detail isn't the love spell, it's how receptive Danny and Sam are to each other at the beginning of the episode. Last episode, they kissed out of necessity, and now they're blushing when they hold hands, smiling shyly at each other, giving compliments, staring at each other, blushing, blushing, blushing. It's as though that fake kiss flipped a switch and now they are aware of each other in ways they never were before. In fact, Sam is shown to be very taken with Danny flying in the sunlight, a very clear moment in the series where there's a shift in the shading, the angle of the camera, and we the audience are allowed to see through Sam's eyes as she looks at Danny and sees him in a different light in what might be to her the first time.

And quick aside here, you have probably heard the argument Sam loves Danny for his powers, but you may not have heard this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's an expression of Sam's character to, not only delight in the unique and odd, but to appreciate action when it's called for. Danny is a half ghost hero who refuses to sit on the sidelines when someone is in trouble. These are things Sam values, and Danny being who he is and what he does is going to make her heart pound with admiration. He's her dream guy, but more than that, he's her friend. She knows his flaws and who he is as a person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her loving his powers and how unique it makes him in addition to liking him. I see it a little bit like having a thing for drummers and then your friend develops an aptitude for drumming. It's not going to change the friendship, but you might notice him a little differently. The only problem here would be if she liked him for the powers and not because there is something more there. For Sam, I think, it’s not just the powers. Danny Phantom isn't a stranger who is half ghost and saving people, he's Danny, her friend. She has watched him develop into a hero, starting from episode one, when Danny decided to do something with his powers.

It's a wild, new perception of Danny that would be hitting her in this moment, and if Ember hadn't interfered, they may have actually gotten together much sooner. But she did. She placed a spell over Danny and threw into question everything they have been feeling and made things move too fast, way too fast, for Sam, who, as you’ll remember, couldn’t even admit she wanted to go to a dance a few episodes ago.

Idk if you guys have noticed this or if anyone else agrees, but I fully believe it's Sam who sets the pace. For all the clueless jokes and teasing, Danny has shown from the get-go he's receptive to the idea of him and Sam getting together. Just look at the way he smiles whenever something happens between them-- it's usually Sam who pulls away or ducks her head. Such as in this episode, when the love spell is broken and she, not Danny, makes an excuse for why they hugged for so long. If we focus on Danny in this relationship, the progression of his feelings aren't very linear. There are moments when he notices her or learns to appreciate her, but they aren't major shifts for him. Like he said in Urban Jungle, "I always thought you ruled, Sam." When I rewatched it, I didn't see Sam waiting for Danny, I saw Danny waiting for Sam. You might see it differently, tho, idk, I don't ship it :P But for this meta, I'm going to say it's her. She's not ready. And there's many reasons why.

For one, we saw in Parental Bonding she isn't comfortable admitting she wants the same things other girls want. Even though she really wants to go to the dance, she pretends she doesn't. It's important to her that she is different, even when it's an act. It's possible too then that she's not ready to give in to romance, especially one that others have been pressing on her. I don't think that would have stopped her in the long run, given how she was responding to Danny, but...Ember. That love spell. Idk what was fully intended to be going through her mind after that, but I believe it assured her it was best they stay friends, which is why she pulls back and makes an excuse. Danny's obsession under the spell was annoying, creepy, and it ruined what they had as friends. It's reasonable she wanted to take a step back. I think Danny looks like he understands? He was the one who caught on she wanted to go to the dance despite her denials, he must understand her pretty well on some level, so he probably recognizes that she isn't ready. He’s smiling when Sam makes the excuse. Or maybe he suspects that's the case. I might be basing a lot on his little smile and blush at the end there, but he also blatantly flirts with Sam at the end of Memory Blank and she's the one who smiles and ducks her head while he beams and raises his. They seem to be on the same wavelength here as far as his feelings and hers go, and it doesn't make sense for all these blushes and smiles between them to be something Danny... just... didn't pick up on when he's often responding to Sam's reactions. He's not clueless between these episodes, but he's not pushing her. He's not pushing himself. They're letting their friendship take priority.

So what changes? How does Danny go from knowing to clueless?

I'm thinking it was Reign Storm.

This, I think, is the moment Danny starts to think he had it all wrong. Since they've never actually spoken about how they feel, he can revisit the events of Fanning the Flames and the "Sam? But I thought..." "I thought too..." and start thinking Ember really did ruin things after all because at the climax of Reign Storm...Sam turned him down. Or she let the chance slip away. He didn't admit his feelings, but he indirectly asked her about hers, giving her a chance to say something before he faced his toughest fight to date, something she was afraid he might not survive, but she didn't say anything. She couldn't. She wasn't ready. Valerie had come onto the scene, and the burgeoning romance between her and Danny made Sam insecure. Valerie is beautiful, comfortable flirting with Danny, and Danny is responding to her. Valerie is what Sam isn't, but she isn't cruelly shallow like Paulina, there isn't an easy dismissal here. It's the first time Sam is faced with competition for Danny's affection and she... doesn't know if she wants to fight for it or not. She's hesitant to meet Valerie's challenge in that final scene, and whenever she opposes Danny's friendship with Valerie she uses Valerie's ghost hunting as the reason. It's a fair excuse, I just don't think it's the only reason. She's too angry and too hurt for there not to be personal undertones. But she can't admit it out loud, maybe not even to herself. It's the dance situation all over again, but this time Danny is distracted by Valerie and doesn't think Sam wants him back. Why would he? In a life or death situation, she didn't say anything. Silence carries its own words. Danny must have assumed she doesn't like him back after all.

Obviously, things come to a little bit of a head when Danny starts to get serious about Valerie. Events are manipulated by Technus, of course, but the feelings are Danny's own. Technus didn't make Danny stay up talking to Valerie all night; he chose to. Technus didn't make Valerie lay her head on Danny's shoulder; she chose to. So, when Danny responds to Sam's "Do you really think the universe wants you two to be together?" with "I don't know...I might." It's significant. Sam knows it too. Her voice actor did a great job putting pain into that gasp.

So Sam does what she has since Fanning the Flames; she puts her friendship with Danny first. If this is what he wants, she's not going to get in his way. Events may have continued apace in this fashion, with Sam silently pining as Danny explores a relationship with Valerie, BUT things aren't as simple as Danny or Valerie would like them to be. Misunderstandings and secrets undermine them from the start, and Sam's self sacrifice sees an immediate payoff when Danny trusts her with the ring he was going to give Valerie.

I...don’t really want to get into the WES ring thing, but Jack’s assumption here that Danny is dating Sam (not Valerie) is probably due to him seeing Danny dip and kiss Sam in the lab during Memory Blank. Sam wished for Danny to keep his DP symbol, so this whole scene probably still played out, and Jack likely still remembers he saw Danny kiss Sam, only now he remembers her name wasn’t actually Paulina.

Idk if I’m grasping at straws or not with this, I’m just trying to give meaning to Jack’s mistake haaaaa...

I'm not going to get into the WES ring thing, I'm sorry. It hurt my feelings and it has Butch vibes all over it. Tucker’s “What is this, the eighties” has me freaked because yeah and the fact that it’s Jack’s class ring and not Danny’s because Danny is too young to have a class ring? I don’t like it I don’t like it ahhhhh

But. That Sam tosses a ring that has her name on it into the air and yet calls Danny clueless is an ironic joke I'm forever going to snicker at. Well played. Even if the rest of it was a dick move.

Sooooo...Valerie has withdrawn, Sam is smugly triumphant, but Danny is still pining after Valerie. The relationship between Danny and Sam is at a standstill because Sam's preferred status quo is back, aside from Danny is now blind to her.

Enter Gregor.

Oh, this little shit...

My personal opinion on this episode is that it wasn't necessary to pull the jealousy angle on Danny when he already had established feelings for Sam in the earlier episodes, but it does let Sam explore romance without risking her friendship. That's really all it is, you can see it in the way she behaves with Gregor. She's infatuated, but there isn't anything deeper than attraction and shared interests (or so Elliot makes it seem). Gregor's color scheme probably played a part in catching Sam's attention by making her think of him (a stranger) in a positive light. It's Phantom's color scheme from top to bottom. I'm pretty sure the writers made him that way, not for Sam, but for Danny. "This could have been you" they're saying "you should be in his place."

Ahh jealousy...

While Sam is exploring her sexuality, the romantic parts of herself she's been denying for so long, Danny is losing his god dang mind. If I focus on Sam, I like this episode much better. Danny is an absolute dick here. Someone stop him, pls, omg. The jealousy arc in a friends to lovers trope is pretty easy to understand. This is meant to make him recognize he could lose Sam to someone else if he keeps chasing after Valerie, it's supposed to make Sam the focus of his attention again, to make him aware of his feelings for her, make her desirable, a possession, objectified ect., ect.. Jealousy is a bad look on all romances, please don’t do this

Sam, though, I like her potential here if I continue with the idea she's been afraid to open herself to the idea of dating until now. It's a little fast, given that she's crushing within five seconds of seeing the guy (Danny at least was given two episodes and death defying adventures), but that's sort of the idea? She's not thinking here. She's... taking a plunge of sorts. She's letting herself follow her emotions instead of trying to beat them down, possibly because Gregor is new to the school, possibly because he also claims to be Goth so there is a sense of community she's responding to. Possibly because some part of her is tired of tormenting herself over crushing on Danny, and Gregor offers a fresh new take on something that has, so far, only caused her pain. Idk. It depends on how you want to interpret her feelings here. In my mind, she jumped on dating him so fast there had to be something else prompting her to open herself like that. It's not very consistent with how she has approached relationships and feelings in general up to this point, so I have to assume it was some sort of breaking point.

Regardless, she snaps out of it when they kiss.

And she does kiss him back. Before it cuts to commercials, she closes her eyes and wraps her arms around his neck, he pulls her close, and that's when we zoom in on Danny's shocked face. I suppose this is the moment where he's meant to feel the most pain. Unlike Sam who put friendship over her feelings, however, Danny lashes out. He does come around when he's talking to Gregor in the locker room, though. Fair points to Danny, he does come around in the end. It's just a little too late.

I would feel bad for him, but he annoyed me a lot in the episode.

Sam already looked like she was rethinking the relationship with Gregor after the kiss. He smoothed things out after she shoved him away, but she still looks uncertain when they walk off. In my mind, she was cool with the relationship because it was fun and everything, but she wants Danny, and Gregor isn't him. When he kissed her, it felt good, but then it didn't feel right and she pulled back. The romance was fun for her in this episode, but I think this was the moment she committed to Danny as the one she wants, despite the risk to their friendship. She still defends herself from Danny and walks away from school holding Gregor's hand, she's not giving up on Gregor yet, but she doesn't seem nearly as into him as she did before. Him snapping at Tucker and revealing his true colors just made everything easier.

Bye-bye tacky Danny substitute.

Danny recovers some ground then by complimenting her as a person. Sam might be able to see his feelings for her shining through, I think. The whole moment just felt wholesome and gooey sweet lol.

They still don't talk about it, though. Poor Tucker. I would be screaming in his place.

That brings us to season three.

Sam and Danny have both committed to how they feel about each other at this point, they just haven't said anything. They don't know that the other feels the same, only that they really like their friend.

Mutual pining, fully engaged.

Danny, in particular, has gone full blown. He's not even trying to deny it anymore, he's just shy and nervous about it, trying to hide it because he doesn't want to get hurt. He's usually bold when it comes to matters of the heart, especially by this point in the series, so he's holding that ember pretty close to his chest like he's afraid someone is going to blow it out. He has reason to be. He's been crushed in Fanning the Flames and disappointed in Reign Storm. He's all in, now, and very vulnerable because of it. When Johnny and later his dad ask about his "girlfriend," he stutters and shies away. He's not confident about anything except how he feels. Sam hasn't shown him any indication at this point in the series that she feels anything for him outside of friendship.

Urban Jungle pushes things, but Sam is a puppet. Undergrowth is speaking through her, using Sam to bait Danny into a trap. He can't trust the things she says in that state, and, kindness points to him, he doesn't. They don't blush when he gives her the ice crystal; they won the day, and he let's her off the hook like she had for him back in Control Freaks.

No, nothing for them changes until Frightmare.

Frightmare is the most important episode for their relationship. It is, in fact, in some ways more of a climax than Phantom Planet. They have spent the entire series not talking about how they feel. Sam has kept her feelings for Danny so tightly guarded he didn't know she still felt anything for him. The dreamwalking let's him see what Sam has hidden for so long, and once it's out, it's out. Danny knows. Sam knows he knows. Sam doesn't know that Danny dreamt about the same, she's only responding to the idea Danny now knows about her feelings for him. And Danny's actions after he finds out is positive, accepting, encouraging. But not pushing. They're still waiting. They're balanced on a pinhead and comfortable and happy to be there again after all they've been through since Fanning the Flames.

You can see the change in their relationship during Claw of the Wild. They're acting off each other. They haven't spoken still, but they're working in tandem. Danny is confident enough to do that arm move, a far cry from the boy in Girls Night Out who was trying to hide how he felt.

Sadly, D-Stabilized happens after, and as everyone knows, canon ends there. How Danny and Sam ultimately get together (assuming they get together at all) is up to you :3

............

Okay fine...

Phantom Planet is a fanfiction given canon status, but it does fit into the development of their relationship fairly well.

Danny and Sam know how they feel and how the other feels, they just haven't made anything official yet. It's kind of a foregone conclusion at this point, and they're kind of acting like it, such as when Danny lays his hand over Sam's after he loses his powers. There's his confidence in romance again. You love to see it.

It is a bit rocky here. Danny isn't listening, Sam isn't communicating, there is a lot of passive aggressive shiiiiiit going down before Sam becomes overtly aggressive and Danny finally notices something is wrong. That idiot...

I don't remember the whole speech. I remember thinking there were undertones because they know how each other feels now, but I can't remember the words exactly. Sam was frustrated and Danny finally gets his head out of his ass and starts listening, and he starts to consider just what it was he lost. What he gave up. And for what? Sam makes him look beyond the immediate problems, and there is value in that.

Being dissed by Dash after he failed to save him might have been the final nail, though, to be fair xD

Sam obviously likes Danny's unique powers, but she was at her most thrilled when he started trying to be a hero again even without his powers. His attitude was what was frustrating her, and once he stopped caring only about himself, she forgave him.

I will still hold, however, the dialogue was not great. Her reaction to seeing Danny's ghost form again was something like "Danny, it's you! I mean it was always you, but you're you again!"

It wasn't great, combined with everything else. It's just not. Since she just saw him (almost) die, I might have had her go with "Danny, you're alive! Er, ish! Alive-ish!"

She's actually going to see him (almost) die again a few minutes after this too! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Poor girl.

I believe they hook up shortly after this in Antarctica. Idk. I blanked out on a lot of the movie. Sorry. I do remember, there wasn't a huge confession or anything. The only real, um, shock? Reveal? Was Sam noticing the ring had her name on it when she tried to give it back to him. They've known for a while how they felt, they're just finally (FINALLY) addressing it, so it's kind of low-key. Just. Finally giving voice to what they've felt. That must be so freeing. It wasn't a reveal, it was an acceptance.

(Does this play into Danny saying nothing is official until he gives [Valerie] the ring back in Flirting with Disaster? I think it might be.)

If you ship it, you can probably fill in the emotions of this moment better than I can. My experience was to laugh. I'm aro, lads, I did not give a hoot lmao. Can't help thinking now that the spinning camera angle, plus the 3D asteroid, is probably what tanked half of the third season's budget.

Urban Jungle's advertising got the other half lol

It was effective, though, I've seen how well loved that moment is for its fans. It was a long time coming, it took a lot of build up and courage to reach this point, well done you two.

And of course you got the hill scene. Sam's ring officially placed on Sam's ring finger (remove it this instant and put it on the correct hand, omfg, BUTCH, you had one job--The boyfriend's class ring goes on the right hand, ring finger, I'm screaming THEY’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE ENGAGED) and they talk! I don't fully remember what it was about, Danny coming to terms with his ghost half, probably, and how Sam has helped him accept himself. It was very sweet and cheesy lol. But the climatic moment for this ship during the finale was in Antarctica. It culminated what they've left unsaid for so long.

And then Danny lifts Sam into a bridal carry (gdi Butch) and they fly off into the sunset, and that’s the end of the show!

... my messy interpretation of Phantom Planet aside, hopefully this has helped you love your ship more, though I understand this is just my interpretation of things. I really wanted to write this for myself, to help me understand the ship better. I enjoy analyzing things as a writer, but with this ship, I often focus on the negative, not the positive, and I wanted to give it it's dues. It is a very sweet ship when taken all together.

I do want to talk about how canon failed this ship and just didn’t hit its full potential, but for this at least I wanted to focus only on what they did RIGHT. There was actual progression in the relationship, although it wasn’t always linear due to what I suspect was Sam’s hesitation to give up friendship for romance and Danny’s attraction to Valerie. In the end they worked things out, and I think the defining moment for Danny was a callback to Sam’s worth to him in Memory Blank, when he discovered she made him a hero, and then in Phantom Planet she did it again by pushing him to be more than your average citizen, more than who he was before the accident, and he was like alright, that’s it, it’s you. It has to be you.

#Danny Phantom #Sam Manson #Amethyst Ocean #Danny Phantom meta #I'm probably missing a few things but #I don't ship it #there are things in canon I have issues with but their development is not one of them

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ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her · 3 years

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On Family

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published

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One question that I see asked in the news a lot is why there are still any ghouls left. We have a distinctive, high-impact feeding habit that requires us to stay within human society, where we are both outnumbered and outgunned. This has essentially been the case since the development of automatic firearms, and you’ve continued to develop more and more effective methods of killing us since then. How are we not extinct?

The talking heads always have lurid theories to propose. My personal favorite one, which comes up every couple of years or so, is that the government is secretly breeding us so that they have an excuse to send secret police out into the general populace for nefarious purposes pretending to be exterminators. As if they’d need the excuse {Editing Note: I’ve gotta keep my political views out of this except where they directly pertain to ghouls. No unnecessarily alienating people}. The most commonly accepted one seems to be that we just have a lot of children to compensate for our high mortality rate. Spatha calls that an R strategy, I think. Scarlet calls it the Rabbit Theory. Whatever you call it, it’s wrong. Our species has survived off the strength and compassion of our families.

Contrary to popular impressions, our “nuclear” families are pretty small. My understanding is that 1-4 children is the typical range. I’m the only confirmed only child in my friend group. Scarlet’s the youngest of three, Scorpio’s a middle child, Spatha avoids talking about her home life, and Kestrel doesn’t know her biological parents. There’s a couple of pressures that keep our family sizes small. First, it’s challenging to feed too many ghouls at once, especially ghoul children, who we don’t want worrying about where they’re going to get their meals. Second, the majority of ghoul parents are going to end up as single parents before their kids are fully grown. Either one of them is going to get killed, or they’re going to have to separate to go on the run from the exterminators; and, of course, we do still break up and get divorced sometimes.

These pressures are exaggerated by our general lack of an extended family. It’s not that all of our aunts and uncles get hunted down - even if they did, we’d still have cousins - but it’s not safe for us to have traceable extended families. When exterminators identify a ghoul, the first thing they do is put out a bulletin for all known blood relatives. The most common tactic to avoid this is, when multiple siblings make it to adulthood, at least one of them changes their identity and moves away. This isn’t always done, but it’s done often enough that document forging is a widespread and well-respected profession in the Society. It’s useful for dodging exterminators in other circumstances too. My mom and I changed our names and moved cities after exterminators killed my dad when I was 4.

Between that and the sheer number of out-and-out orphans in our Society, it should come as no surprise that we’ve developed a new family structure to fill in the gaps. The terminology we use for this structure is variable, but the term I’ve always used is “household”. A household is a sort of adopted extended family, typically formed by and centered around one particularly resourceful ghoul called a patron. The patron takes whichever ghouls they choose under their wing, introduces them to each other, and helps them coordinate their talents and resources so that they all have everything they need. Most obviously, this means making sure they all have a supply of flesh, but there are numerous other kinds of support a household can provide. I doubt I need to emphasize again how valuable a reliable source of companionship and safety is, but patrons typically have access to connections and contacts that can help the other members of the household accomplish their goals.

My household, for example, was founded by our patron Yaga. It consists of her, her adopted daughter Kestrel, my mom and I, my friends Scarlet and Scorpio and their immediate families, and four other older ghouls. There’s also Spatha, who has been reluctant to fully join the household but acts like a member in most contexts. Three of our members have reliable flesh sources, and Yaga coordinates with other ghouls to find supplementary sources to ensure that she always has a surplus on hand. This keeps all of us well-fed and lets her distribute the rest to those in need in exchange for favors and cachet that the rest of us can use for our own advancement. In turn, the rest of us pitch in for odd jobs here and there, mostly on flesh-gathering jobs of one kind or another, and we look out for each other. I’ve done a bit of babysitting with Kestrel, for example, and Yaga was able to get me and Scarlet summer jobs to save up for college.

Babysitting, by the way, is one of the most valuable services a household can provide to a ghoul parent. Given our mortality rate, it probably isn’t a surprise that there’s a good bit of cultural pressure to have children, and have them quick. Ghoul children are… a lot. When we’re newborn, we’re pretty much like human babies. Ghoul babies can nurse from ghoul mothers for awhile, which is a relief. They need to switch to flesh before their teeth come in, though, so that means flesh slurry, which is more complicated to make than you might think. For best results, you want a mix of blood, muscle tissue, organ tissue, and bone, especially marrow. We get better at pulling all our nutrients from just flesh as we mature, but babies aren’t as developed. Getting those varied tissues is a little more complicated than just getting flesh. Bone especially is challenging - more mature ghouls have no need for it, and it’s honestly kinda gross. You just have to hope that whoever you’re getting flesh from can start holding some bones for you. Not every source has easy access to bones.

{Editing Note: I think I wrote bone too many times - it looks fake now. Bone. Bone.}

We get our ghoul teeth at the same time as our baby teeth. Our ghoul teeth fall out and are replaced too, but we keep growing new ones our whole lives, kinda like sharks. Funnily enough, I don’t think we grow extra human teeth, which seems like a strange way for evolution to take us, but what do I know, I’m not a biologist. At that point we can start eating regular flesh, and parents have the unenviable task of explaining to toddlers that they can’t just slide their teeth out whenever they want. Our other features come in a bit later - claws between 4 and 6, eyes with puberty. Let me tell you, the claws hurt coming in. I couldn’t hold a pencil for a month. My mom told the elementary school that I was deathly sick so she could keep me home, but I think Scarlet just pretended he’d broken both his hands and went in splints. I don’t envy him - stretching my claws did a lot to relieve the pain.

I’ll admit freely that, by our standards, I had a pretty charmed childhood. I fit into human society pretty easily, I had a mom who loved me and could provide for me, a patron and household to help pick up the slack, and ghoul friends my own age. I had the discipline to keep my true nature hidden from my human peers, and I don’t think I was even particularly traumatized by the pressure of performing humanity that much. I can safely attribute that to the fact that I had safe spaces throughout my life to let the charade drop. Most ghouls at least have that. Most, but not all.

Our integration into human society also means that we inevitably become entangled in human society. We become invested in the lives of our human peers, we befriend them, care about them. Sometimes we fall in love with them. Eating people seems like kind of a big secret to keep from a potential romantic partner - I certainly couldn’t manage it - but some ghouls form romantic relationships with humans nonetheless. Maybe some of these human partners eventually discover the truth and are willing to overlook it for the person they love, but I doubt it happens often. I’ve certainly never heard of it. I’ve heard of it going the other way, though, a human partner discovering the truth and reacting poorly. Someone always dies when that happens. I personally know a few ghouls who’ve dated humans, or are seriously involved with them. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I get that the heart wants what it wants, but some wants aren’t worth the risk.

{Editing Note: That last line feels… tense. Emotionally charged. Why? And should I change it?}

In my opinion, the gravest of these risks is what happens when a human and a ghoul decide they want to build a life together, but kids are already in the equation. The human-ghoul mixed family is probably the most toxic environment that a ghoul child could be raised in and conceivably survive. All that pressure of hiding your true nature from your peers as you grow up? That feeling of isolation that follows you everywhere you go among humans? All of the most crushing emotional turmoil I’ve described in this book so far? Imagine if there was no relief for that even at home with your family. I frankly have no idea how ghoul parents manage to feed themselves and their children without being caught, or how they manage to perform humanity so flawlessly and constantly that their literal immediate family never catches on. I don’t know how those children manage to survive to adulthood, but I imagine they have some seriously fucked up mental health problems by the time they do. Factor in the suspicion that they would inevitably face from our Society when they finally are able to join it properly - after all, who more likely to become a Judas or be Lost than a ghoul raised by humans? - and I’d be willing to bet most of them don’t make it out of their twenties.

Before we move on entirely from families in general and mixed families in particular, I’d like to take a quick aside to talk about “half-ghouls”. You hear about them in horror media fairly often, the biological child of a human and a ghoul. Authors love to ascribe all sorts of traits to these hypothetical creatures - greater and more monstrous than the sum of their parts, supernaturally strong and vicious, impossible to detect within human society, sometimes with traits that are blatantly impossible, like telepathy or mind control or just plain magic. All of that is obviously untrue, but it’s something of a point of contention as to whether or not a “half-ghoul” is even possible. None of the ghouls I’ve talked to seem to agree about whether it can happen, and a search of human medical literature was similarly inconclusive. Humans, at least, seem to think that it might be theoretically possible, but have never been able to verify it by observation or by medical experiment. Of the ghouls I know that have been romantically involved with humans, none of them have ever gotten a kid out of it. It’s one of those things where we just don’t know. If it were possible, I’m not even sure what the implications would be.

#my writing #memoirs of a flesh eater #original fiction #not tlt

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word-ghost · 3 years

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so a while back I wrote a depressing lil prologue about my farmer, Peach. Now, thanks to all the awesome people at the grapefruit sky server on discord, I have a depressing lil prologue for Harvey too 😌

late spring, year negative five

Harvey slumped forward over the planner on his desk. The next seven days stared back at him, empty other than their number in the upper right corner. The month was near the end of its climb. Soon it would tumble into the next, and it would be a year since Harvey had left his life behind.

He straightened to match the wooden back of his chair, pushing away from the desk and glancing at the drawer to the bottom right. He reached down to pull it open. The drawer shuddered on its wooden slide, the left edge scraping against its ill-fitting frame. It was still there.

When Harvey first arrived to assume the life of his aged predecessor, Pierre had gifted him a bottle of scotch to celebrate their going into business together. What he’d meant was that Harvey would be writing a rent check in Pierre’s name every month for— forever. Harvey weighed the word against his experiences over the past months.

One of his more regular patients despised him. He was lucky if half of the rest showed up on time for their appointments; if they bothered to come at all. A quarter of those who kept their appointments didn’t take him seriously.

Harvey’s hand dipped into the drawer and carefully lifted the amber-filled glass. He didn’t know much about whisky, but after a brief examination of the label, he knew this bottle was nothing special. He removed the stopper and sniffed it like he might a wine cork. A smoky-sweet scent followed the sharp sting of alcohol. Harvey checked that the closest coffee cup on the desk was empty before he poured himself what he thought to be the standard amount.

Harvey was thankful no one was around to see him flinch at the taste. His college friends had always teased him, the one who brought his own bottle of wine to parties rather than go for the keg or the cooler of punch. They had fallen out of touch after he moved, but it was his failure as much as theirs.

With the smooth burn of courage still sliding down his throat he picked up the phone. He dialed the first number to come to mind. He waited for five rings before he heard his friend’s voice, and then it was only a recorded name.

“‘Benny Lawrence’ is not available. At the tone, please record your message—”

Harvey used a finger to depress the switch, and when he lifted it the dial tone blared in his ear once again. He dialed, wedging the phone to his ear with his shoulder. He swallowed another mouthful before the third ring.

“I can’t believe I’m talking to you right now. How the hell have you been, man?” Dan’s voice was a near shout over a backdrop of car horns and fragmented voices.

“When was the last time we talked?” Harvey chuckled, mild excitement beginning to bubble over.

“Damn, I don’t know. About a year?”

“Ah. Things aren’t much different than then. But I’m not complaining.” He wasn’t sure why he’d added the last bit. Maybe even now the things he liked about Pelican Town still outweighed the things he didn’t. As if seeking confirmation, he asked, “How about you? Still enjoying city life?”

“I have more time to enjoy it these days.”

“What do you mean?”

“Better gig, better hours. I’m in pediatrics now at— oh, damn. Harv, I gotta run if I’m gonna catch my train. Talk soon, okay?”

“Oh— yeah. Soon.” Harvey tried not to sound disappointed. The momentary joy he felt hearing his friend’s voice drained away. He hung up the phone and downed his drink, its burn suffusing in his chest as he poured another.

He picked up the handset once again, fingers putting in the numbers without asking permission. On the second ring, he thought better of his actions. But before Harvey could hang up, she answered.

Hearing her voice after all these months was like rediscovering a song to which he’d forgotten the words. Whatever version of it he’d stored away in his memory paled in comparison.

“Hello?” She repeated.

“H- hi, Violet.” Harvey swallowed. “It’s— it’s been a while.”

“Harvey?” She gasped. “Why are you calling me?

“We haven’t talked since—” he faltered; the absurdity of what he was doing finally struck him. “I guess I just wanted to see how you’re doing—”

“I’m—” she started, but a voice interrupted; muffled, but familiar.

“Who is it, Vi?”

A hand shuffled over the microphone, not entirely cutting out their conversation on the other end. Harvey closed his eyes, making out some words over his pulse pounding in his ears.

“What does he want?”

“I don’t know—”

“Hang up.”

“He sounds—” There was more shuffling, and the voices were stifled.

“Harvey?” Violet said a moment later.

“I’m still here,” he said, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Is— is everything alright?”

“You’re still seeing John?”

“Yes.” She paused. He could practically hear her prickle over the wire from some hundred miles away. “We— we got married.”

“Congratulations,” Harvey said after a moment of shock, unable to control the bitter edge to his voice. He leaned his elbows on the desk and scraped his free hand through his hair.

“I thought you would have heard by now.”

“How could I have? I was— I’ve been—”

“I know.” Her honeyed voice dripped with guilt. “I’m— I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“From you?” The whisky's warmth set his latent anger ablaze. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. “That’s what you meant, isn’t it?”

“Don’t call here again.”

With a quiet click, the line went dead. The phone’s bell let out a fearful chirp as Harvey slammed the handset on its cradle. He gripped a handful of his hair, a knot forming in his throat. It shouldn’t have come as such a shock. But his head pounded and his stomach churned.

There was no reason Violet ever should have set her amber eyes on Harvey. He didn’t have the best grades, and he was never the most attractive person in the room. But she’d approached him at a college party, tapped her plastic cup of wine to his, and introduced herself.

From that moment their lives began to slowly merge. Her friends liked him well enough, and his buddies loved her. Their life goals were aligned. Their families got along— every splintered side of them. The years wore on, and the only problem in their relationship was him. Harvey’s eighty-hour workweeks wore him ragged. The patients he couldn’t help weighed on his conscience. And the stress of trying to achieve the dreams they had for their future caught up with him and broke him down.

Harvey couldn’t complete his internship, and Violet couldn’t accept it. Even after he sought help, and worked to improve his mental state, she wouldn’t understand why his plans had to change. Harvey believed they loved each other enough to survive anything. Violet believed she deserved to be a surgeon’s wife. Now she had everything she wanted, and she hadn’t needed him to get it.

Harvey’s thoughts swirled and clouded into a murky mess. He didn’t hear footsteps in the waiting room or the swish of the swinging door in the hall outside his office. He didn’t know anyone was there until—

“Dr. Palmer?”

Harvey whirled around. Maru stood in the doorway, eyes wide.

“Get out.” He glared at her through the tears in his eyes. His own tone gave him pause and he softened. “I’m sorry, but— please. Go.” He turned away from Maru, who hovered in the doorway, indecisive.

“What’s the matter, Harvey?” There was a softness in her voice he hadn’t heard before. Of course, he’d kept her at the same distance as anyone else.

“Please.” He leaned his elbows on his desk. His chest tightened around the breath in his lungs. “I can’t— I can’t be like this.”

What must he look like to her? No one in this town needed another reason to think him inadequate. Incapable. A small, choked sob escaped his throat and he hid his face in his hands, catching his tears before they could fall. His glasses clattered to the desk.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, lingering there until his breaths came at a more even pace. Then, it moved to put the lid back on the bottle, and the bottle back in the drawer. It retrieved his glasses, wiped them clean, and placed them in his hands. Harvey swallowed the bitter remnants of his pride, put on his glasses, and thanked her.

“Are you okay?” Maru said, emanating patience he didn’t deserve after snapping at her.

“She— after everything.” More tears fell with the bitter laugh that left him. “Six years.”

A few versions of the story had already circled the rumor mill since he’d been around. Harvey was glad someone would finally hear his side of it. It all spilled out, and Maru listened. For a moment he felt a sliver of the warmth he had missed since he moved to the valley. The warmth he felt hearing his friend’s voice over the phone, and, as much as he hated to admit it, Violet’s too.

#creativewriting #creative writing #fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic #stardew valley #stardew #stardew valley fanfic #stardew fanfic #stardew harvey #sdv harvey #stardew maru #sdv maru #sad harvey #angst #cw alcohol #got u these feelings

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chemist-ana · 3 years

Text

Chapter 13 The Morning After— Sams POV

Book: The Nanny Affair

Characters: Sam, Ana Schuyler (MC), Vivan and Mason Dalton

Pairing: Sam Dalton (male) x Ana Schuyler (MC)

Rating: 18+

Content Warning: NSFW, Sexual Language, Adult Language, Sexual Situations

A/N I know there are a lot of people that do not like Sam Dalton- that being said, this chapter was especially difficult for me to write, because I am trying to give him a redeeming character arc. As a person that is involved with the family business, I can understand to a degree where he is coming from with the guilt and what he chooses some of the decisions he does. BUT please do not forgot that MC is culpable and definitely at fault as well. There are definitely some cringe worthy things in this chapter- but I hope y'all love it! Also a super big thank you for @txemrn for talking me through some of these ideas and for being the queen of angst. Love you p.

Summary: In the cold light of day, will you and Ana be able to face the consequences of your actions?

Word Count: 5800

Tag List: @txemrn @secretaryunpaid @lifeaskim @aussieez @pixie88 @thefrenchiemama @sfb123 @mainstreetreader @shewillreadyou @khoicesbyk @lady-calypso @choicesficwriterscreations @somersetmummy @melalicious8383 @chrissythadon @shannonwrote @jerzwriter

The sound of my footsteps, my labored breathing, and the early morning traffic are the only sounds in my ears, as I push my legs faster through Central Park. I reach up and wipe at the sweat that is beading on my brow, silently cursing the wretched New York, humid, summer mornings.

I usually run with music blasting in my ears… but I decided this morning to torture myself, and I can’t decide whether its working. The sounds of Ana’s moans echo through my mind, as steady as my heart beats. I see a gorgeous blonde running towards me and I give her a crooked smile as our eyes connect. She just about trips on the pavement before composing herself mid stride and continues past me, avoiding my gaze.

Well that didn’t help.

I push myself harder in the last few hundred yards of my run, and when my building finally comes into view, I slow down to a walk, reaching my arms up to catch my breath.

“Good morning, Mr. Dalton.” The morning doorman greets as he opens the door to the lobby for me.

“Thanks, Felix.” I nod as I breeze past him, waving my keycard at the scanner to my penthouse elevator.

When the door dings open, I hold my breath as I walk quietly through the still living room, everyone is still sleeping. I stop outside of Ana’s door. Resting my hands on her door frame and closing my eyes. I take a deep breath, what the fuck happened last night… I walk into my master bathroom, turning the shower water on cold.

My brain delves into the guilt that is sitting heavy on my shoulders. The guilt that I have for the years I spent fucking off in college instead of setting myself up for my future. The guilt I have for losing Eva. The guilt I have for hiring Ana… And now to add more… the guilt that I have for fucking her last night. What the fuck were you thinking? I tilt my head up into the cold water, letting the shock send a shudder down my spine.

My life has revolved around this family business… watching the countless hours my father has spent building it from nothing into this global conglomerate. The knowledge that one day, this would all be mine. The endless chiding from my father to fit into his mold of what the perfect CEO would be. Married with children. I have truly never been in control of my life… even when I married Eva. I thought she was the one… but now that I have Ana… stop it you fool, you don’t have Ana… she deserves better than your spineless tricks. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what am i doing? I reach up and rest my hands on the shower wall, letting my head lull forward.

What the fuck happens next?

***

“Good morning.” I greet the twins and Ana as I round the corner into the kitchen.

“Morning, dad.” The boys look at me with defeated looks, I’m guessing it has something to do with the beige mush in their bowls.

I cast a quick glance at Ana as a blush creeps up her neck.

“Ana? Are you alright?”

She shakes her head slightly before looking at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about last night.” Her eyes linger on mine.

The all too clear memory of her moans and the feel of her body come flooding back into my mind again, but I quickly shove them away as I stare back at her.

“Yeah! Carter said you went to that fancy party thing with Dad!” My eyes flick to Mason as he sets his spoon down.

“Did you pull any pranks?” Mickey asks with a smile.

“Not this time. Maybe we just needed someone to show us how it’s done.” I look between them.

“I’d rather stay home and eat pizza, thanks!” Mickey’s eyes grow wide as he takes another bite of his mush, god that doesn’t look good at all.

I grab a cup of coffee and turn to walk towards my office.

“Can we talk later?” Ana whispers as she leans in close to me.

My stomach drops and I feel my body stiffen. I don’t spare her a glance before answering. “… Yes. Later.”

Without another word I head to my home office, leaving a stunned Ana behind. I can feel her gaze as I round the corner and close the door quietly behind me.

I don't know what to say to you yet, Ana…

I sit down in my Wegner chair, switching the Tiffany Lamp on. I rub my hands down my face with a sigh. The silence is broken by the ringing of my cell phone, I glance down and my fathers name is flashing on the screen.

“Hey, dad.” I set my phone on my desk and turned it on speaker.

“Sam, things in Italy are not clearing up. I need you there to fix this mess.”

I let out a sharp exhale through my teeth and pinch the bridge of my nose.

“This is pretty short notice.”

“After what happened in Milan, LEMA is having some hesitations as to our abilities to run a company that handles sensitive medical information. I don't think I need to tell you how important this deal is. We need to take care of this ourselves, unless you want me to send Robin?” I can hear the challenge in his voice as my chest constricts.

“How long do you think I will be there?” I ask, avoiding his antagonizing, my mind flashing to the boys… and then to Ana..

“Does it matter, Sam? As long as it takes. I already spoke with Sofia, she is going to go with you. I have some briefs and copies of all the contracts being sent to your office now. You will need to read them all to get caught up. I also scheduled you the jet for tomorrow morning.”

My head falls back as I close my eyes.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, yeah, dad, I heard you. I will be there soon.”

“I’ll be in your office at noon.” He ends the call.

I glance down at my watch, it's already 11. FUCK.

I look at my office door, time to do whatever needs to be done.

I walk quietly through the penthouse, running over the words in my head. I hear the twins in their room, and I decide to start with them. When I see Ana putting their laundry away, my breath gets caught in my throat. At least you only have to say this once…

“I’m about to go into the office, but I wanted to talk to you first.” I say as I walk into their room.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as Ana turns towards me. I move further into the twins room and take a seat on the edge of the lower bunk bed. Mason and Mickey stand in front of me.

“What’s wrong, Dad? You look sad…” Mason’s face drops when he notices my crestfallen expression.

“I’m not… sad. I just know you’re not going to like what I have to say.” I take a deep breath and clear my throat.

“Then you gotta just rip it off. Like a Band-Aid.” Mickey smiles.

“Right, like a Band-Aid.” I keep my eyes fixed on the twins but I can feel the heat from Ana’s gaze. “I have to go to Italy for a business trip… as soon as possible.”

A silence settles over the room as the twins look between themselves..

“What? You’re fleeing the country, just like that?” Ana breaks the palpable silence.

“I wouldn’t call it ‘fleeing’. Dalton Enterprises has been in negotiations for months, and after the Milan breach… well my dad just doesn’t trust anyone else to handle it.”

“What about us?” Mason murmurs sadly.

“Aunt Sofia isn’t staying here, is she?” Mickey's eyes are wide.

“No, she’ll be in Naples with me. But don’t worry, you won’t be alone. You’ll have Ana.” I turn to face Ana and her gaze is focused on the twins, but I can see the hurt in her emerald eyes.

“Let’s not overreact here. It’s just a flight and some meetings, right? I bet your dad will be back before you know it.” A smile trains on the corners on her lips as she tries to brighten the mood.

I wish that was all…

“Actually… depending on the negotiations, I could be gone a couple months.”

“A couple months?” Mickey shouts.

“But… that’s the rest of summer.” I look at Mason and see only one thing: disappointment.

“Seriously, Sam? That’s so long! For the boys I mean.” Her eyes fall to the floor.

“My parents were often overseas for months at a time when I was younger. They’ll survive.” I hate the words as they leave my lips.

“But don't you want them to do more than just survive?” She looks up at me in concern.

“I’m trying to not let emotions cloud my judgement here. I don't have a choice in the matter.” I clench my jaw.

“You always have a choice, Sam.” Her eyes hold mine.

I take a deep breath turning my attention back to the twins.

“Can we at least come visit you while you’re gone?” Mason is picking at a piece of string that is fraying from his blanket.

“Of course, buddy. I’m sure we can work something out. In the meantime, why doesn’t Ana take you two out for the day?” I rest my hands on the twins' shoulders. “I’ve got to prepare for my trip, but we’ll have a special dinner tonight before I go. Promise.” I wrap my arms around them and bring them tight to my sides. I wish I didn't have to leave you… someday you will understand. I hope.

I walk out of the twins room, avoiding the heat from Ana’s gaze as she watches me.

***

The words all run together as I sit at my desk and try to read the briefs from Italy. My office door opens and my eyes meet my fathers’s as he strolls in and sits in the leather chair in front of me.

“Did you read all of those?” He asks gruffly, his eyes flicking down to the papers that are strewn across my desk.

I collect all of them into a stack as I avoid his gaze. “I got the jist.”

A silence settles between us and I can feel his eyes trained on me. When I finally raise my gaze, he narrows his eyes and his mouth sets in a thin line. “What’s going on with you, Sam?”

“Nothing, Dad, I’m just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Don’t insult me, I know you better than that. You are distracted, you have been since your mother and I got back from Italy. Have you been drinking too much again?”

I raise my brow at him incredulously. “Dad.”

“Is it that pretty nanny of yours?” He says mockingly.

My eyes fall to the stack of papers.

“Oh, son. Really?”

“No, dad, it-it’s not her.” Boy that wasn't very convincing.

“Yes it is. I know that look.” A long silence stretches and I avoid his gaze. “Remember Pam?”

I meet his eyes. “Aunt Pam, your old secretary?”

He purses his lips and nods. He takes a deep breath, clearly warring with what he wants to say next. “It only lasted a few months, and your mother knows nothing about this.”

“Wait, you had an affair?”

“It’s not something I am proud of. But let me tell you something. Women like her, and your nanny…” He waves his hand dismissively. “Are only good for one thing, son.” He leans forward in his chair and arches his brow. “And it’s not making you the man that you need to be to run this company.” He leans back, steepling his fingers on his knees. “Now, a woman like Sofia, that is who is going to take you far in life, and bring you where you need to be.”

I’m fucking speechless. I can’t defend my honor, or Ana’s. Because what if he’s right?

***

My phone dings with a text, Ana.

Ana: Heading back, ETA 20 min

Ana: You need us to pick anything up on our way?

Ana: Or do you have the special dinner all planned out?

Fuck. I’m not getting out of here for at least another hour.

Sam: About that…

Ana: Why am I not surprised? This is becoming your MO.

I clench my jaw.

Sam: What’s that supposed to mean?

Ana: You’re a smart man. Figure it out.

I whisper a quiet fuck and I see Robin’s head snap up.

“Trouble at home?” He asks, as a cocky smile spreads across his face.

I ignore him.

Sam: Ana…

Ana: I’ll take care of dinner for the boys sake. But you’d better come up with an AMAZING apology dessert for them.

Sam: I am sorry to bail on this

Sam: I will bring something home for dessert.

Sam: Okay?

She doesn't respond, and I pinch my eyes closed in frustration.

I turn back to the final pages of the contract with LEMA before sighing and throwing it to the table.

“Find anything?” Robin asks.

“No. And I need to go home. I need to spend what little time I have left in the city with the boys.”

“Go, I will make sure all of this makes it onto the jet tomorrow morning.” Robin leans back in his chair. “You know dad wants me with you tomorrow, right?”

I stop in my tracks and slowly turn to him. “No. I was not aware of that.”

He shrugs his shoulders and crosses his leg over his knee. “Now you do.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, and decide against saying anything else. Can just one thing go my way today? I grab my keys and phone, stuffing them into my pocket. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“See ya.” He waves as I walk out of the door.

***

I walk into the foyer with my suitcase, setting it next to the elevator doors just as they ding open and Ana, Mason, and Mickey step out.

“Welcome back. Did you three have fun at the museum?” My eyes are locked on Ana, sadness filling her emerald eyes. My chest constricts as my thoughts are haunted by my fathers confession.

“The museum was alright but dinner was even better! We stopped at a food truck festival on the way home.” Mickey chimes.

“I tried a poke bowl!” Mason is vibrating with excitement.

“Really? Did you like it?” I ask him, surprised.

“It was amazing!” Mason cheered as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

“And we got something for you!” Mickey gestures to the bag in Ana’s hands.

“That was thoughtful of you.” I look at Ana as she hands me the bag, not meeting my gaze.

“It was their idea.” She murmurs looking down at the boys.

I look inside of the paper bag, Kung Pao… god it's my favorite. “I love Kung Pao. How did you know?”

“Just a lucky guess.” Her tone is even and neutral. Distant.

“Right.” I take a breath, clearing my throat and turning back to the boys.

“Why don’t you two wash your hands, then head into the kitchen for your special dessert?” The boy's eyes widened.

“On it!” They race toward the bathroom, leaving Ana and I alone in the hallway. Still avoiding my eyes, she breezes past me into the kitchen. I follow her slowly, watching the soft sway of her hips.

“Ana.” She stops in her tracks and I see her shoulders tense.

“Yes?” She slowly turns towards me.

“Thank you for dinner, for both me and the boys. I shouldn’t have backed out of my promise to have a special meal with them.” My apology comes out even and measured as I watch her carefully.

“No, you shouldn’t have.” She says matter of factly, her eyes finally rising to mine. She sighs softly. “And you’re welcome.”

“It really looks delicious.” I set the container on the counter, taking a big bite with a fork. My eyes are trained on hers and I can see her face soften.

“You’ve got a little…” She grabs a napkin, stepping up slowly and reaching up to wipe at my lip.

The smell of jasmine and Ana fill my senses as our breath mixes in the air between us.

“Oh…” I whisper in surprise at the intimate gesture.

“... All better.” She smiles softly up at me, her emerald eyes piercing. An electric charge lingering in the space between us.

The moment is broken when we hear the boys running towards us in the kitchen. She takes a step back, turning away from me.

“Dessert time!” Mickey cheers as he slides into the kitchen.

“What’re we having?” Mason shifts from foot to foot.

“I thought you’d like to make some s’mores…” I know they are your favorite.

“With the mega-big marshmallows?” Mickey’s eyes grow wide. God, I am going to miss these kids…

“Of course.” I match his smile and gesture towards the platter of s’mores supplies laid out on the counter.

“I’ll, uh, leave you three to it.” Ana says softly as she slowly backs out of the kitchen.

“Where are you going? You haven’t even had s'mores yet!” Mason turns to Ana.

“I don’t want to intrude on father-son bonding time with your last night together.” She smiles softly at Mason.

“You wouldn’t be intruding.” I say hopefully. Please stay…

“Still… you should have some privacy.” She holds my eyes for a moment longer before turning and walking out of the room. What have I done?

***

I am sitting in the dim lighting of my office. My fingers wrapped around a glass of Eagle Rare Bourbon as I gaze out of the window. My thoughts are a jumbled mess as I bring the tumbler to my lips. I hear the door open slowly and I glance over to see Ana enter quietly, clicking the door shut behind her.

“I thought I might see you again tonight.” I say as I turn my focus back towards the city lights outside.

“Sam, we need to talk about us.”

I can sense the sadness behind her words.

“Ana…” I sigh as I look at her with regret.

I see her shoulders tense as she balls her hands up into fists at her side. Red hot color rising on her cheeks.

“You owe me this, Sam. Don’t pretend like you don’t.” Anger drips from her every word.

I take a deep breath and give her a small nod, but I have no words. I get lost in my own thoughts again... You’re right… but I have no idea what to say to you. There is nothing I can do about this fucked up situation I put us in… I am so sorry that I dragged you into this mess. I am a selfish man that longs to be with you… but I have no control.

“We had sex last night, Sam.” Her voice cracks.

My chest tightens.

“I haven’t forgotten.” My eyes still trained on the city lights outside.

“It feels like you want to. In fact, it feels like you’re running halfway around the world because of it.”

My breathing gets shallow as she takes a step towards me, the anger rolling off of her in waves.

“You’re a lot of things, Sam, but I never took you for a coward.” Her voice laced with contempt as she stepped in front of me.

My eyes flick to hers as a new emotion bubbles to the surface: anger.

“A coward?” I whisper as I lift to my feet and we stand face-to-face.

“You heard me.” She tips her nose in the air. “You could have walked away last night.”

I can't help the humorless laugh that escapes my lips. How does she not understand that I cannot control myself around her?

“I wish that were true.” It would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier. God help me, I can’t resist you.I reach up and run my fingertips down her cheek, watching her shudder at my touch, but her expression remains guarded and angry.. “I’ve been trying to walk away from you since the moment we met. Yet somehow… I always end up back here.”

She steps back out of my reach, crossing her arms in front of her chest. My eyes scan down the length of her body.

“That’s not good enough, Sam.” Her eyes bore into mine.

God Dammit woman.

“Let’s get one thing straight here, Ana. The timing of this trip may seem suspicious to you, but I don’t want to go. I have to go.” I take a step toward her, narrowing my eyes. “And every time I look at you, it’s a reminder of what I’m leaving behind.”

Her eyes widen as her anger starts to slip. “Really? You aren’t relieved to have an escape?”

“No! This is so much worse.” I take a deep breath, trying to reign in my anger. My urge to control her and have her bare before me is making my cock twitch. I watch as Ana turns and steps to the window. The war inside of my head battles on before I finally give in. I step up behind her, running my nose along the sensitive skin below her ear before grabbing her hips and pulling her against me. I feel her body melt into mine. She turns to face me, and I place my hands on either side of her head, the cold glass a welcome reprieve from the heat coursing through my veins. I press my desire against her and I watch as her eyes darken.

“Sam, you should fire me now.” She whispers. “Neither one of us has the strength to resist. Stopping cold turkey is the only answer. You go to Italy, conquer the business world, marry Sofia. I’ll move out and find something else. We both walk away, hands clean. Well… as clean as they can be.”

I can see it in her eyes that she doesn’t believe the words she is saying, but it doesn't stop them from stinging my heart.

“My hands aren’t clean, Ana. How can they be, when I think about you every time I touch myself?” My eyes flick down to her plump, pink lips. “Or when I want to murder the next man who touches you?”

“Then what’s the endgame here? What do you want?” She pleads, her eyes shining in the dim light.

“I want you, dammit.” I confess.

She grabs the lapels of my suit and pulls me even closer to her curves,

“Prove it.” She challenges, her eyes dark.

She brings her lips to mine and our lips ignite into a frenzy of heat and frustration. I bring my arms around to her lower back and pull her hips snug to mine. A sudden feeling of regret passes through my mind and I pull back, a question in my eyes.

“Ana…” I warn.

“Don’t think. Just feel.” She purrs as she pushes my jacket off of my shoulders. She runs her fingernails across the back of my neck softly before pulling my lips down to hers again. I grab her hips, spinning her around and pinning her back against the cold glass of the window. She gasps at the sensation as I grab her wrists and pin them over her head. I use my free hand to roam the planes of her curves, her body igniting under my touch.

“Sam...” She moans as her eyes flutter shut.

I find the hem of her shirt and dive underneath, finding the lace of her bra, I run my fingers along the gentle curve of her breasts. Her chest heaving and pushing her perfect body into my eager hands.

“Has it really only been a day since I last touched you like this?” I whisper against her lips. “Already feels like a lifetime ago…”

She arches her back, pressing deeper into me as I let out an involuntary moan. God the things this woman does to me…

“Can you really go the rest of the summer without this?” I can feel her smile against my lips.

“I can’t even go the next five minutes without it.” I admit as my cock hardens uncomfortably in my pants.

I reach down and cup her ass, picking her up and carrying her to my desk. I sweep everything off of my desk and lay her down. Her emerald eyes dark with desire as she watches me remove every article of her clothing, throwing them haphazardly around the room. Her chest rises and falls, and her lips are swollen with our kisses. I kiss each piece of newly exposed flesh, the soft moans coming from her lips a sound of pleasure and surrender.

“God, I want to eat you up…” I say against her hip. She looks down at me and takes her bottom lip between her teeth.

“You’ve gotta earn that privilege.” A challenge in her eyes as she sits up and places her hands on my chest, pushing me away from her. Her nearly naked body glowing in the colored light from the Tiffany Lamp.

“Ana?” I ask.

“You’ve been a naughty boy, Sam.” She purrs. “And you know what that means, I’m going to tie you up.”

“Fuck.” I whisper and her words send another surge of heat and desire through me. I watch as she gracefully slides off of the desk, motioning for me to sit down in my chair.

“Wait. Undress first.” She leans in and skims her fingers across my chest, then tugs lightly on the flap of my shirt. “I don't want to have to deal with this later.”

You naughty, fucking minx.

I quickly strip off my clothes, my eyes never leaving hers as I take a seat in my chair, resting my arms on the armrests. I watch her carefully as she digs through a drawer in my desk, pulling two spare computer cords out. I watch as her steady hands tie my forearms and wrists to the chair. My eyes travel across her barely clothed body and I think of all the things I wish to do to her perfect ass.

She steps back, a look of pride flashing across her eyes.

“Aren’t you a sight?” She smiles as she looks at me hungrily.

“Ana…” I murmur.

I tried to move my arms, but she did a damn good job tying me down.

“This isn’t fair. I want to touch you.”

“Oh… You want to talk about not fair?” She clenches her jaw as she saunters up to me, the movement of her hips accentuated by the delicate fabric. “Everything that’s happened today hasn’t been fair.” Her eyes narrow at me as she leans towards me. She is careful not to touch me but I can feel the electricity crackling between us. Her perfect breasts are right in front of my face and I know she can feel my hot breath against them. “And now you’re being punished for it.” She stands up and gracefully hops back up onto my desk.

She leans back, spreading her legs wide open, revealing every single perfect inch of her perfect body to me. I watch her fingers slide down her curves until they come to rest between her legs, slipping underneath her panties to rub at her center.

Fuck me.

“Ohmygod…” I moan as my cock hardens more than I even thought possible. The throbbing is almost unbearable as I watch her fingers spread the moisture that is pooling in between her legs. Her head lulls back as moans escape her lips.

“Ohh, YES!” She cries out, her body tensing.

My eyes are trained on her perfect cunt as she worships it with her fingers. My breathing is growing labored as I think about all the things I want to do. Her hips are bucking as she nears her edge.

“Ana, please…. Let me touch you.” I beg, my voice husky. I can’t help but lick my lips as I think about her sweetness.

Her eyes open and her fingers slow as she considers me.

“I don't know… Have you been punished enough yet?” She smiles.

“No… but I can’t make it up to you properly unless you let me touch you. Please.” I am not above begging at this point.

She leans forward, and I watch her untie the cords from my wrists. As soon as I can tell that I am free, I reach up, grabbing her body and hauling it into mine. I bring my lips to hers and kiss her deeply, tasting her, reveling in the feel of our tongues together. I stand up, pressing her back down on the desk and I grab the delicate lace of her panties and push them down her thighs.

“I haven't been able to think about anything else all day…” I whisper against her lips. I can feel her smile. “You drive me to distraction even when you aren’t spread out in front of me…”

“And now?” She asks as she arches her back up off the desk.

I trace a delicate line up her bare legs, slowly teasing my way to her center.

“And now… I can barely control myself. I want to devour you.” I growl.

She leans back and spreads her legs wider.

I stand up and run my eyes slowly over every single piece of her exposed flesh, she blushes that delicious color.

The most beautiful thing I have ever fucking scene.

“Yes… I love seeing you open like this for me.” I murmur as my eyes scan her body over and over again, lingering on her exposed cunt.

I drop to my knees, and lower my mouth between her thighs as I lap up her pooling moisture. I watch as her eyes flutter closed, her eyelashes laying like fans across her cheeks. Her breathing intensities and her moans echo around the room. She calls out my name in ecstasy.

“If you want me to make this up to you properly, then you can’t come yet.” I challenge her. “Can you do that, Ana? Can you hold back until I tell you?” I punctuate my question with a devilish twirl of my tongue and she gasps.

“Yes! Sam… bring it on. I can take whatever you have to give. Don’t hold back.” She is panting and her perfect cunt is dripping for me. Her eyes find mine and I can see the challenge accepted. Good girl.

I trail kisses back to her center, dipping and tasting her pooling wetness. So fucking sweet. Her body shivers as I continue to flick my tongue against her. I reach down and grab my aching cock, running my hand up and down the throbbing shaft.

“Oh god… I’m gonna…” Her body starts to tense and my pumping increases.

“Already? I thought you said you could take it.” I say, my lips moving against her.

I feel her body tremble as she moans.

“Ohmygod, that feels… Sam, don’t stop.”

Never, beautiful. I will never stop doing this to you.

I groan out her name as the pleasure in my body nears the edge, my tongue continuing to flick at her exposed flesh. I call out her name as I find my release and I feel her body tense as she cries out mine. We ride out each other's orgasm, ecstasy blinding me.

Eventually her body sags against the desk, her breathing rapid. I stand up and wrap my arms around her body, bringing her tight to me as our breathing slows.

I untangle myself from her and we both stand and get dressed in a silence that is thick with tension.

The reality of what just happened hits me hard as I watch her button up her silk blouse.

Fuck. Again. No fucking control, Dalton, you total fuck up.

Without a word she moves towards the door, lingering with her hand on the door knob.

“Sam, I-”

“I’m sorry, Ana. I didn't mean to get so carried away. It won’t happen again.” I interrupt her, saying the only thing I can think of at this moment… words I regret as soon as they escape my lips.

I watch as confusion spreads across her face and she gives me a silent nod.

“My flight leaves early. I’ll be gone before you wake up…” I say softly.

“Oh. I see. I guess this is… goodbye.” She looks down at the floor, her fingers playing at the hem of her shirt. She wraps her arms around herself and slowly begins to slip out of the door.

“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess. You deserve so much better than me.”

My words halt her in her tracks. She looks over her shoulder at me, and I see her eyes shining.

“I can decide what I ‘deserve’ for myself.” She walks out of the room without another word, and I am left even more pissed with myself than I was this morning. I sit down at my desk and run my hands through my hair.

She’s right… you are being a coward. I am avoiding this shit storm I created for myself by running away…

I sip another glass of bourbon as I come to the only solution I can think of: postpone my trip to Italy, and even though it will probably bite me in the ass… Ana and the boys have to come with me. My stomach sours at the thought of Robin getting a hand on this before me… but I shove the thought aside.

That's it.

***

I nurse my second cup of coffee as I watch the sunrise through the windows. I hear soft footsteps walking down the hallway and I swallow my nerves. Ana rounds the corner and stops short when she sees me, a glimmer of hope and surprise flashing through her eyes.

“Sam?! What’re you going here? I heard you leave this morning…”

“I did a lot of thinking last night, but I didn’t come to a conclusion in time to cancel my car earlier.” I try to control my excitement.

“What conclusion?” She asks carefully.

“That you were right. I was being a coward and running away from my problems. I sent Robin ahead and postponed my meetings to next week so I could do this right. I’m turning this business trip into a family vacation for all of us.” Her face lit up.

“You mean…” A smile playing on her lips.

“Pack your bags, Ana. You’re coming with me to Italy.”

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