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jeanmoreauss · 3 days

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I think what bugs me the most about what happened today other than the fact that I was the one getting vagued is the fact that the conversation got warped into one that is about morality and not simply theorizing on The Ravens and how The Nest works

my original post essentially said two things:

The Ravens are victims and to erase that because they don't fit the model of the perfect victim and some have even become abusers erases all nuance from that portion of Jean and Kevin's lives and the surrounding discussion

Cults are weird. I grew up in one. And it is very easy to manipulated by one and to feel trapped and to also be completely in the dark about what is happening in a cult even when you're in the heart of it

I did not say anyone had to forgive the Ravens (they're fictional characters. fake people. that wasn't even on my mind) or that any of them are by any means good people. i also didn't say that they were all oblivious or that there weren't some of them that were abusive. I also never made this a conversation about morality and whether or not the Ravens are good or bad people for staying in a cult.

For some reason that got warped into what we are currently discussing and involved some highly insensitive language surrounding cult victims including things being said like it's not crazy to expect people to walk away from things like scholarships, financial security, or career security if it means being complacent in abuse and that it's "just basic morals".

And I'm sorry for getting personal on this but as a cult survivor I think that's one of the most upsetting and insensitive things I have heard come from these conversations today.

It doesn't matter what x thing is whether it's money or food or housing or a career. In a cult they use whatever it is you need and make you dependent on them for it. Also with the Ravens in particular keep in mind it wasn't simply being complacent in abuse. They were being abused.

If you have been in a similar situation, if you are grappling with the guilt of leaving a cult or anything like a cult, know that you are not a moral failure for having stayed for as long as you did. You are not moral failure for staying for whatever reason you did. It is not just basic morals when it comes to living in a cult. Morality becomes warped and the concept of what is immoral and moral is something completely different and that is intentional.

It doesn't matter whether you think the Ravens were aware of Riko's abuse or not. Having differing opinions on that is completely okay. What you don't get to do is turn it into a conversation about morality where you then get to insult cult survivors like we're evil people for not walking away at the first red flag because we needed something. Because we were in survival mode and we weren't able to focus on other people.

We still don't have all the details on how the Ravens function or the type of abuse players even outside of the perfect court face other than it was extreme. It's fun to theorize. And it's okay if people disagree. But if you can't be mindful about where your opinion switches from theory to some huge declaration of moral high ground then you've lost the fucking plot.

I would love to talk more about the Ravens and my theories on them. I would love to talk more about how cults work and why I think it's possible they were completely unaware of Riko's abuse. There's a lot of nuance in those conversations and I would love to take the time to treat them with the care they deserve. I'm also still incredibly upset by a lot of the things said today and I can acknowledge that this is a topic that is very personal to me. So this is me opening up that can of worms (again) and I'm more than happy to have those conversations and answer questions but please be patient with me because if it isn't already obvious this is a topic that is incredibly sensitive to me

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misc-obeyme · 21 hours

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Hey cc

So in the vampire pop quiz I think it was Dia who said something very interesting "looks like they are fixated on mc because mc is the manifestation of their desires" now that did align well with my effort to understand why would all 7 of them be this obsessed lol

Anyway in my head mc goes like guys that's just my idea of how a proper human should be lol pretty sure if any other human ended up here who kinda like hot demons you all would be obsessed about that human too

Anyway, can I request a drabble about this kind of mc not insecure, just not understanding why mc deserving all this attention

Barb would be interesting to drabble about this since it took him sooooo looooong to open up to mc a bit

happy to see you are still having fun with Barbs thirst trap 😎

-🐆

Hi there, 🐆 anon! I apologize for the delay on this - it's been taking me a little longer than I anticipated to get through the drabble requests...

Augh the Barbatos shower picture is going to be the death of me, I swear. I'm still thinking about a nsfw drabble based on one of his lines lkasdfkjfj it's a problem, I swear.

Anyway, here's a Barb drabble with MC not getting why the demons are obsessed with them! I thought it was a cute little scenario. And Barb is just being super romantic as always lol. I can't help it, I am but a humble fluff writer.

Barbatos could see it on your face - a subtle expression that the others might not pick up on. It told him the story of how you were trying your best to hide your own confusion. It was something that happened every time one of the brothers complimented you, when they fought over you, when they expressed this need to always be near you. A slight furrow of your brow, the tiniest downturn of your lips, the fleeting uncertainty that flashed through your eyes.

Ever since your first day in the Devildom, Barbatos had seen this look. He was always watching you. The more he did, the more it became clear to him that you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think there was something special about you.

Perhaps he waited too long. Perhaps he should have mentioned it to you sooner. But you didn't seem distressed. All he ever saw was bafflement. So he let it be for quite some time. Until he finally found himself alone with you when it displayed itself.

Barbatos had been pouring you a cup of tea as he heard about the brothers' latest antics. You were telling him that they had been arguing over who got to work with you on an upcoming school project.

"And then Levi got involved and I had to calm everybody down before Lotan was summoned," you said.

You were looking down at the table, your mind clearly elsewhere, when that expression flashed across your face.

Barbatos put down the teapot. "Does it make you uncomfortable, MC? When they argue over you this way?"

You met his eyes, seemingly startled by his question. "No," you said. "It's a little silly, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Why do you ask?"

"It's only that I've noticed the look of confusion you sometimes have in moments like these," Barbatos said. "As if there's something that troubles you about it."

You frowned in thought for a moment. "I guess I just don't understand why they care so much? Why do they think I deserve this much attention? I just act like a regular human would. Why are they so… obsessed?"

Barbatos chuckled. "Do you truly not see? This is exactly what makes you so fascinating."

"I don't know what you mean," you said.

"Despite being a totally unique individual, you still believe you are ordinary," Barbatos said gently. "I have been alive for a long time, MC. I have met many humans. No two are alike. You are not 'regular' because there is no such thing. You are yourself and that is why we love you."

Barbatos was pleased to see that confused look replaced by a soft blush. "You…?" you couldn't finish your question.

Barbatos took your hand and kissed the back of it. "Indeed," he said. "Even I have fallen under your spell. I will remind you of how special you are for the rest of your life if I must."

You laughed, a little taken aback. "I don't think that's going to be necessary."

Barbatos only smiled, your hand still clasped in his. He was content to see such a soft and sweet expression on your face, a glint of happiness in your eyes. Despite what you said, if he ever did see that confusion there again, he would do everything he could to bring your smile back instead.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#I make him so romantically poetic all the time #if anyone ever said the stuff Barb says in my fics to me irl #I'd probably start laughing #I'm sorry Barb #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #obey me barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos x mc #om barbatos #om barbatos x reader #om barbatos x mc #x reader #🐆 anon #request #misc writes

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richeeduvie · 2 days

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How does the affair au start? Does Roman make one of his comments and she’s receptive to it this time or does she make a move on him?

"I never wanted to fuck a blazered Mommy more in my life - shame the only way for this to happen was for you to be a fucking slut and get your insides iced by my dad."

Baby tilts her head, slightly. One wouldn't notice, Logan wouldn't notice...but it makes Roman's head jolt back, a small, but sharp and childish movement.

...Fucking...what? What is she staring at?

"I miss you."

Roman doesn't blink.

"...Fuck you. That's affair worthy. I might just tell Dad you still want his son's dick and maybe a baby from me too."

She steps closer.

"I just...miss being able to do something about every overly sexual, but in the end cowardly comments you make. It was needy and warm before, now it's just harsh. And I miss you."

Roman breathes unevenly, hard with a curved brow and a mouth. He looks to her hands.

He was happy to just be dick to her forever, talk about wanting himself inside her and making the nastiest fucking...conversation about him and Dad and her without actually having her want him. Roman finally fucking accepted that and now Baby's looking at him with...uppity, soft eyes and his cheeks are on fire.

"I know you miss me too. I'm sorry."

"Fuck you."

"Roman. You keep asking me, you keep up with the statements of what you want us to do, or what you're seeing. Things you don't say about your stepmother-"

"I could've said them about Marcia. I probably have-"

"But I'm just...it can't be different with us, can it?"

Roman swallows - twists his wrist out of Baby's grasp and almost slams himself into the wall from how quickly he came away from her. She sighs and let's the moment sit. Here goes nothing.

Is it so wrong to know there's only one person for you? Roman can't stop saying it, can't stop blaming you for it...and he's right.

You'll never know when you realized you wanted it despite everything, despite Logan - but you're here and he's beautiful, scared. You're coming back to a broken promise and you know he doesn't want to believe you, he doesn't want to give you the benefit of love.

"Come."

"You know I'm fucking - I'm not real! Nothing I say is real, you're just a bitch who kinda ruined me and I wanna say things to make you uncomfortable? It's the reparations I deserve at- the fucking least...so don't-are you fucking playing? Like right now? On Dad? Fuck, I could tell Dad, that'd be a fun night of foreplay for you-"

"You know he wouldn't believe you."

Roman drops his face and his arm to his side. You take a step closer and softly invade his spade, taking his hand.

You know you'll get what you want because he's let you taken his hand.

"The not real things you say, Roman...he wouldn't believe you because of it. But I believe everything you say."

You don't watch Roman's brow waver, falter when you bring his hand to your lips.

"So come."

"...You can't be fucking doing this."

He says it weakly.

"You can't be doing this."

You squeeze his hand. Here goes nothing. A mistake on your end, what Roman needs. But the biggest mistake, maybe - was Logan. Maybe not, not when he won't know.

Not when this won't mean anything but going back to the beginning every now and again.

"So come. Because..."

Because he will. You have ruined him.

Roman is quietly, a soft drag when you pull him to the couch. You sit down first, do something you've been dreaming of recently. Memories.

You pat your lap and Roman's brow comes up, mouth thinly pulled and head low. And you can't possibly know he's not thinking anything. The guilt, the panic, the resentment, and the need to do this again afterwards will come later. But he just does what he knows best for now.

He can listen to you.

Roman sits at your side before lying to settle his head in your lap. He closes his eyes and presses his face into your stomach. It'll be good for it to all come after.

#inbox #hc's #drabble #dog and bone!au #succession fanfiction #roman roy x reader

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frogs-and-books · 2 days

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My frustration has very little to do with what's canon and a lot more to do with the way fandom shippers feel like the lack of explicit confirmation can be used as a bludgeon against people expressing discomfort with the ship when fandom is a media space rampant with romance-centrism and when the coding is as explicit as it is. And then try to throw out "I accept he's "canon" ace" as a way of shielding themselves from criticism despite that not actually being anymore canon than anything else. Also, frankly, I think people would be entitled to get mad if they walked back from this coding. You talk about fighting for representation, part of doing that is voicing criticism when representation falls flat. (And walking back the coding would be falling flat even if that wasn't the intention.) I don't actually think Riz is canon ace or canon aro. Because I do believe in death of the author and that the ability of the audience to interpret art is very important. And I agree that heavy coding alone isn't enough to make something inarguably canon. The problem I have is the way that so many fans go out of the way to dodge Riz's potential as representation and refuse to support aro fans who see themselves in Riz. Mostly, as far as I can see, for the sake of continuing to ship a pretty bland ship. And a little bit to protect the creators from some potentially deserved criticism. (Also, having not watched Voltron, I can't speak to the accuracy of the Klance comparison. But generally ship happy fandom exaggerates queer coding on everything except ace and aro coding. So I'm inclined to suspect it's not entirely apt)

There's is no problem with aro people relating to Riz and seeing him as Aromantic, but if you don't like when people ship Riz with people, just block them. Other people shouldn't have to stop having different interpretations because they make you uncomfortable.

Maybe people are dodging representation for the sake of a ship! But if that's your issue, I think you're talking to the wrong person. I'm not saying he isn't, and I'm not trying to ignore the coding. I'm simply saying that it isn't canon. That doesn't mean that the characteristics that make people believe he's aromantic aren't there. He still has those traits no matter what his sexuality is.

I have said over and over that there is a lot of coding, and it's obvious why some people believe that he's aromantic, but stating that he isn't canonically Aromantic isn't an attack on anyone, it's a fact.

Also, please don't get mad at Murph if he doesn't make Riz canonly Aromantic. Coding doesn't equal representation, and it's his character.

#i wont be mad at murph if he is canonically aro #although I probably have less stake in the game since im not aro #still i know the frustration of a character with obvious coding being said to not actually be queer #but I learned that you can acknowledge canon without completely subscribing to it #fandom should be a safe space for all interpretations #as long aa the character themself isnt changed #so if you dont like a ship #block it #dont get mad at the people shipping it #it will make your life less frustrating #riz gukgak #dimension 20

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elfqueen006 · 2 days

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We Cry Together

Yeah, here's that toxic Joseph fic I was telling y'all about. It's May x Joseph in a swap!AU or Joseph in place of Ian. He's pretty shitty here - be warned. I wrote it on the fly, the grammar might be a bit sloppy and mismatched I think, cus I wrote one part before the other and forgot to edit some of them.

Tw: cheating, arguing, toxic dynamics

---

Joseph chuckled in that teasing sort of way. The kind he only used with her. May cranes her head around into their kitchen to see him sitting on the chair at their bar counter.

He looked happy...

"Yeah? ... I'd like that..." He pauses, scribbling something down on a notepad. "Okay, see you then."

He hangs up the phone and his charming glow of mischief fades once he sees May standing a ways from him. A curious yet unreadable look on her face.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked.

May tilted her head, "What are you doing up?"

Joseph wet his lips, sparing a shifty glance at his phone before waving it, "Taking a call."

"From..?"

"You know um... the girl, the producer's daughter? I don't know her- I mean I know her name it just" he laughs, "leaves me."

May narrowed her eyes, "Samantha? Yeah, you've been talking about her all week, I'd hope you remembered her name."

His eyes widened at that, "Why would you... hope that?"

May doesn't answer, instead her gaze lowers to the piece of paper in his hand. Joseph's hand reflexively slides over it. She approaches without warning and pulls it from under his palm.

Dinner w/ Samantha @ 4pm

"You told me you were being called back for another shoot." May said, voice devoid of emotion, yet filled with scrutiny.

Joseph finds his voice becoming very small, "I was... Samantha just called after."

"And why does she want dinner with you of all things?"

"Because she...wants to talk about my career."

May has seen Samantha. She's met her formally at one of their studio held dinners. Or about as formal as you could get. There was talk of Joseph being a new official cast member on a tv show he'd been an extra in, with a good few speaking lines.

Samantha only ever talked to the cast members, and she looked a big young for business. Not college young. But definitely inexperienced. She radiated amateur, especially as she asked the director for a role on his show.

When May tried to formally introduce herself or speak, she had a habit of cutting her off "conveniently". And Joseph would let her...

When she looked him square in the face, the subtle swallow in his throat all but confirmed her suspicions.

The light in May's eyes leaves - she gives him a half lidded gaze. Joseph shudders at the expression. It excites him honestly, how easily she gets annoyed or agitated. It's always been a small game of theirs to him, because he knows they'd end up spooning, fucking, or just generally in a good spot again. But he's honestly a little scared. May is a good girlfriend. She takes care of him. She supports him. She loves him. He knows he doesn't deserve anyone like her, but if she could give him another chance...

He follows after as she turns to leave, probably to cry, "Rosie, listen." He used her nickname, and he couldn't even get the usual response of playful annoyance.

"Get out." She said, cold and prompt.

"Get out?- May listen to me."

She turns to him with her same expression, only her eyes are wet. He hates the part of him in his body that says "gotcha". He's thinking about all the right words to schmooze her over and make her his again. He knows he's not being fair or nice or good, but all he can think of is making sure she stays hooked.

Joseph takes a gentle hold of her wrists with his hands, a silent plea to stay put and then he ran them up her arms, resisting a smirk at her goosebumps. He puts on a mournful expression when he meets her eyes. The half-lidded and lightless expression is the same, but they aren't cold like at first. They're misty and dim, like a humid April day, when you just know it's about to rain.

"Listen to me..." he began, his voice is lowered for only the two of them to hear, despite them being the only ones in the room. "This wasn't for anything personal. It was only for me."

May furrowed her brows, pulling away from him.

Wrong answer.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What I mean is like, she doesn't mean anything. It's just for the job."

"So you were willing to fuck a bitch over your job?" May spat, "Did the fact that you have a girlfriend ever occur to you?"

Joseph was beginning to get exasperated. He looked up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes.

"May, you know I'm loyal to you. Honestly, my very word should be enough as well as like, what- over five years of commitment?"

"So you think that gives you a pass to fuck another woman? You've been so fucking good you should just have access to other bitches as a treat?"

"Stop calling her a bitch, May, it's tacky and you've barely talked to her." Joseph snapped back, "and I mean that it shouldn't matter. I mean, I love you and you know it!"

"No, no I don't. Because if you loved me you'd know me and know I don't fucking share!" Her voice cracked as she spoke, "I don't care if it's for your job or your dying granny or anything, Joseph Cullman, you know that the very idea of even touching another woman should be off-limits when you're with me!"

Joseph then laughs. May narrowed her eyes, expecting him to fill her in on the 'joke'.

"You know, I really think you're the last person to be saying that."

He seemed satisfied to see she was stunned - something that didn't come often with her. But it came with women. Women he'd argued with, and when they were in that state they often out of an argument. He took that as his cue to head into their room.

---

When Joseph woke up, May wasn't there with him. He gripped the sheet under him, feeling something cold in his chest at the absence of her. Maybe she'd already gone to work?

He sat up with a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd have to apologize. He knows he would. Otherwise she'd ice him out for a whole month, especially with what he had to do. It wasn't personal at all, really. But he felt a weird territorial urge to defend his keep, if that was what he was calling it. He knew Samantha liked him, but he only was going to entertain her for the role on the show. Maybe he would've rather gotten it honestly, but when he and May were living off of takeout on her salary, there wasn't any time for that.

He wanted to get something his way. And it wasn't like May was some angel, neither. She had all the money a girl could ask for, and the girls boyfriends she screwed back in high school certainly didn't add to any of that. At least he's trying to do something for them. It just happened to be in a kind of shitty takeaway. Maybe if people actually did their jobs the way they were supposed to, he would have a better chance of climbing the ladder.

But it was time to do business - Hollywood's way.

---

It went about as well as he'd hoped. As expected, going to bed with her wasn't ideal. But hell, she was fun at most. Good looking at least. Not exactly up to his standards. But it made him feel prideful on the fact that after all that, he'd be getting what he paid for. It feels a bit like college.

He snickered at the thought.

He tossed the dinner receipt in a random trash can way before driving home.

As he pulled up to the parking lot in the apartment, he saw a moving van. Something in his chest dropped at that, and he didn't even know why. Could she have..?

As he got out of the car he got a good look at the movers coming out from the back of the doors. They were carrying boxes full of boots, belts, tees, and dirty magazines. His heart raced. He came up behind one of the men and pulled him aside.

"Hey, who's boxes are those?"

The man shrugged, "Some girls' ex-boyfriend's things."

Joseph's eyes widened as he looked up at the apartment window where their room would be. He could see May's silhouette and her dark fingers holding the curtains before they shut.

He pointed at the movers, "Don't move another inch, don't move!" Before running up into the apartment.

He hissed multiple curses as he dug inside of his jeans, searching for his keys that seemed to be nowhere, conveniently. After what felt like an hour he finally produced them and wasted no time going in.

Inside was could only be described as a bad dream realized. Movers were taking down every trace of him in his apartment. His suggested decorations, his pictures, his clothes, his old playbooks. All of them being packed up and shipped away in boxes.

And May was in the middle of all of it, advising them like she were the director of her own fucking movie set while smoking a fucking cigarette - something she said she always hated, and continued to do until she quit.

When she finally paid mind to him she sneered. Joseph folded his arms, giving her an expectant look.

Tell them to leave.

May took a long drag of the cigarette, before blowing the smoke his way. He stroke towards her and pulled her by her wrist into a corner. She tried to flick the cigarette ash on him, but he shook her arm so she'd drop it before he stamped it out. May grimaced at the now ruined part of her carpet.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Joseph hissed.

"What do you think?"

"I think you're messing up our life, that's what."

May shoved him in the chest roughly, "And where the fuck did you come from, huh? What'd you do to make it better - tell me!"

Joseph glanced around at the movers, some of them were glancing their way, but it didn't matter much to them. This was actually one of the common occurrences for when they did a job.

He got close and stopped her hands before she tried to hit him again, "Keep your voice down." Joseph growled.

"Why? You were so sure of yourself last night. I bet you feel real good now, don't you?"

"Shut up-"

"You fucked that bitch didn't you?" She sneered.

He pushed her up against the corner, his nails digging into her wrists with their harsh hold.

She jerked in his grip, "Let go!"

One of the movers approached them, "Hey, hey man, that's enough."

Joseph's eyes were full of white hot rage as he pointed at him with his free hand. "Don't fuck with me, get the fuck back."

"What you gonna do, hit me?" May said suddenly.

"Shut up."

She jerked away, "So, for what? So you can hit me when they ain't looking?"

"Nobody's gonna fucking hit you!" Joseph hissed.

"But you want to though," May pushed, "You wanna fucking hit me because I'm exposing you for a selfish fucking bastard-"

"May!"

"- who wanna fuck a random bitch to feel like a man, can't even act for shit so you hoe yourself out-"

"What the hell do you want from me, huh?!" His voice boomed throughout the apartment, startling the rest of the movers. May even stopped. When she didn't reply, Joseph continued, "I already do so. Damn. Much for you! I clean the house when you're at work, I cook because you don't know how! And you would deny me the opportunity to actually take care of us?"

"So I fuck some girl to keep the lights on, it isn't the first time I've done it either." May's eyes widened at that, "Yeah, I did that shit for us. And they still didn't mean shit to me! I believe just this once I should be allowed to make us some actual money instead of living off your shitty yogurt salary!"

After that, it fell deathly quiet. So much so, one could only hear the whirring of the ceiling fan.

By this point, Joseph already knew he didn't have a spot in the apartment anymore. But he refused to be perturbed, even as May's eyes welled up with tears or one of the movers began to dial 911. He simply folded his arms, looking his soon-to-be ex dead in the face.

"Well... If I'm not doing enough then you can take yourself somewhere you don't have to slum off my mediocre salary." May said, her voice cracking. Only then Joseph's gaze softened, but he had enough sense not to argue or plead or beg, then he allowed himself to leave.

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack fanfiction #sunny day jack #sdj joseph x reader #sdj joseph #sdj x mc #canon x oc #Joseph Cullman x oc #Ch: May-Rose #original character #black oc #sunny day jack x mc #my fics

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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At some point, you have to concede that the abuse wasn't your fault - that there was no action you could have taken to have prevented it, and that it wasn't your fault.

I used to try finding the magic things that would stop the abuse - gifts, kind words, tears, smiles, pretending I didn't exist - and that was because I first and foremost saw the abuse as my fault. It was my responsibility to end the abuse, otherwise, I am somehow proving to the skies above that this is what I wanted from life. I've noticed that for some people, this is a common impulse. It's the victim-blaming internalized and molded in such a way that feels true, and it's hard sometimes to notice it.

What I want to do is, at the very least, remind you (if this resonates) that it isn't your fault. But you don't need to blame yourself for this, either, because you never deserved this in the first place. This isn't "atonement," this isn't right, this isn't cosmic justice. I can't tell you how to leave this situation, but I will say that you deserve to know that you don't deserve this, that you aren't an irredeemable monster who is being punished, as I've seen some people (including myself) believing about our abuse.

#mental health #abuse #abuse tw #this isn't even an impossible -to-understand response either!!! this is a response that is actually VERY easy to understand #abuse often RELIES on making you feel like this is your fault - that YOU did something; that this is almost divine justice #but that doesn't mean you have to feel responsible for it #obviously this is a specific response to abuse and i don't think it's the 'star model' of a victim/survivor...#...i have just seen this response a lot and it just sucks to see how many people have those thoughts...#...and i feel more comfortable talking about this response specifically because i know a taste of what it's like...#...if you have a dofferent response that is not only *normal* but *expected* and you deserve to talk about it...#...to any capacity you feel warrants it. if you don't relate to this that says NOTHING about your abuse nor your response to abuse #first and foremost i feel kinship with many victims/survivors and i want to honour each of us

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mildcicada · 30 days

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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but #elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but #he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol #but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be #og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color #obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha #i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes #and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know #trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like #would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs #i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know #i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account #of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character #also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it #so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol #tma #my art #elias bouchard #the magnus archives #some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed #for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and #assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no #there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice #i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair #my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian #ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks

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angeltism · 20 days

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"spar.kle is fictional who cares" I have seen people praising her for her racist anti-romani comments what the fuck kind of world do you live in

#➳ the fool speaks #fuuuck man i don't think fiction and reality will influence each other 1=1 but characters being weirdos or bigots and it not being #criticized for it makes those kinds of people who Very Much Already Exist IRL think they're in the fucking right. they aren't.#i don't think someone getting spar.kle in hsr is going to turn them into a fucking racist but her being Like That and looking cute #and being playable and not getting called the fuck out in game makes people who ARE racists have a cutesy girl to idolize and support and #use as a way to say shit without getting in trouble because ''ermmm I'm not the one who wrote her!! i just think she's really funny!! she's #not real anyways why are you mad!!''#like my god shut UP #again like. pulling for her or thinking she's cute doesn't mean you want all roma dead. that. that isn't how that works #but if you think of hoyo's writing of her is good and funny and not problematic at all I'd LOVE to know what you think about #how real life roma r treated to this day. like genuinely let's have a little chat. I'm sure you have normal not-racist opinions #and do not use the g slur and do not defend it and tootally don't view roma just as all the bad stereotypes right !!!!#*ok actually pulling for her kinda. shows support to hoyo for whatever weird ass decision someone on their team made #to go ''ah yes let's add racism but make it a cute girl and make it 'funny' this'll get us so much money''#and if you spent on her banner. look idk what to say. shame? yeah shame. hoyo in general is not a company that deserves your money there #are better things to spend your cash on. like literally look at how they treated sum.eru and they made the guy inspired by roma WHITE ???#generally. not something I would advise spending on. but like ok especially on the racist character y'know #anyways.

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katyspersonal · 2 months

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3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence

9 for Maria

11 for Micolash & Aldrich

24 for Laurence

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:

Also:

@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*

With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!

I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:

youtube

I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)

9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.

......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!

In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?

The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!

The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd

______________

Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha

#bloodborne #dark souls 3 #aldrich devourer of gods #laurence the first vicar #soulsborne #ask replies #personal #memories #dreams #honestly I remember Maria in my dreams hiding in the closet like an abused bullied child.. that big strong woman reduced to this #and I finally know why it was this way #I'd rather not sully Gehrman with something as dirty as my stepdad of course he deserves so much more and he is his own man #I just don't like the approach of turning characters with their own stories and personality into vessels for my trauma #it feels like frenzied flame: you got infected by it and you have unending need to spread it. to scorch the world in your pain.#I don't think this approach would help my healing but instead make me feel worse by nourishing the trauma #I am keeping it sealed away from the world forever now </3 #see this is why it hurts me so much when gehrman haters accuse me of being insensitive to people that want to project their negative-#-experiences with men and misogyny onto him even if that means twisting the actual story and character. I do have a reason to do it myself #I just choose not to because I personally dislike the idea of making fandomry about myself more and about source material less #I don't want to bring the pain and horrors inside me into something that doesn't have them. some things can stay clean!#the passive aggression between canon worshippers and fanon enforcers is something that cannot be avoided in the fandoms #and I disapprove of the lie about 100% peace and mutual respect between the 'camps'. we will never FULLY like each other #each thinks their approach is more productive for the community. and that's fine!

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synonymroll648 · 10 months

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absolutely evil fic idea! sophitz soulmates au where post-war they reconcile but also find out that fitz won't make it to 100 due to the severity of his shadowflux echoes and the reason sophie kept surviving seemingly impossible odds was because the black swan 'accidentally' made her immortal.

to make things extra cruel: consider how fitz canonically counts on having thousands of years ahead of him to build himself a future he enjoys, and how sophie canonically struggles w/ the idea of living forever due to her human upbringing (plus the canon-compliant possibility of her hearing ten bajillion tales growing up of how immortality is a curse) :D

#i love love love soulmate au's. usually for the fluff. but this. this...#this intrigues me conceptually so much that i think exploring it would be worth the pain #i have way too many wips rn to write this. but #that doesn't mean i can't share it w/ you guys :)#i just keep thinking of how the tables of 'fitz comforting sophie about living forever because he'll be there' will flip #and it could flip in SO many ways #it could be sophie comforting fitz about death being inevitable because she grew up around death #and knows that death can be a well deserved (fairly) happy ending if fate is kind enough and you play your cards right #but it could also be them being so so so openly envious of each other's lifespans #like we could have a screaming match in the dead of night where fitz is like #how the FUCK is it fair that we both have echoes but I'M the only one that's doomed to die young because of them? how the HELL do you have #ANY right to speak on this? on how i should deal w/ having THOUSANDS OF YEARS RIPPED OUT OF MY HANDS?#and sophie's like well i don't know fitz! how the FUCK is it fair that you're the one that gets to have a finish line? how the HELL am i #supposed to be happy about NEVER getting to stop? about ALWAYS having to be the moonlark? about INEVITABLY LOSING EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE #THEY'LL BE DEAD?#honestly you could have both. you SHOULD have both. imo. hurt/comfort babyyyyy #also. if you want. you can have this be a thing where the immortal falls in love w/ the same soul again #but fitz never comes back as an elf. always something mortal #also when fitz dies. having a throwback to the search and having one of them go 'fuck time. fuck death. i'll find you again and again'#less 'death cannot do us apart' and more 'death can only separate us temporarily'#also. sophie having to watch fitz deteriorate from the golden boy she knew to barely hanging on to life. and fitz having to deal w/#sophie never changing in any physical way #don't you love feeling sad guys? angsty if you will? /t #sophitz #sophie foster #fitz vacker #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fic idea #sophitz fic idea

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phlyaros · 11 months

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im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.

#i trust enough that most of my mutuals understand the nuance needed of media depiction of unsavory subjects.#if i'm wrong then I'm wrong. okay. thank you.#i hate the dichotomy i hate the lack of nuance in this discussion I want people to actually talk to each other #I want people to realize that you can respect people with different opinions than you if they aren't actually hurting anyone #I'm literally. someone who was alone with me a lot as a kid is in prison for CP/solicitation. I think if anyone can say that media-#depiction of fucked up shit that really happens is more nuanced than 'x is bad so it shouldnt exist'#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.#im so tired. im so tired. why wasnt this a dm. i dont really want to have this discussion publicly.#i can think things are gross but understand that there's nuance to depiction and just because I don't like it doesn't mean those people-#-don't deserve to have something that understands them.#not everyone is good at actually. being mature enough to handle that nuance. when they try. people can be wrong #and if people ARE weird I can just not engage with them. there's. I can decide for myself!#and now I'M stuck in my brain is insane and. as if! as if people always reblog things they 100% agree with!#im so tired. im so tired. im in pain and people are messaging me about a singular reblog from six months ago on someone else's blog.#i understand being cautious i really do but thats like insane behavior. why are you putting this on me. why didn't you just talk to me.#fucked up things happen and people deserve to be understood. okay. even if i don't like it. there is no right answer. there is no world-#where all pain can be avoided. saving private ryan made vet suicides skyrocket. did you know that #but it also understood those people. yknow. and there's more people living that it understood too.#there's just so much nuance that's thrown out when you cover everything you don't like with a blanket. okay #it's more complicated. it's more complicated. please.#in my mind it's far stranger to assume everyone is out there giggling and twiddling their fingers thinking about in/cest #than it is to just assume they don't until proven otherwise.#im so tired. just block me if you don't understand where I'm coming from. I don't care about ship disco/urse and i dont want to live-#constantly worried about what other people think about shit that has no right answer.#everyone is innocent until proven guilty and one reblog of a joking aggressive post isnt enough for me. sorry.#phlyaros' nonsense #euurgh.#welcome to the internet where we judge people based on one reblogged joke and nothing else even if it contradicts us #what a perfect encapsulation of what I don't like about dichotomy argument #tw suicide

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dinosaurcharcuterie · 2 months

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Nothing says "You're in Germany" like telling a random, non-bureaucrat "They bill it under the name 'paragraph 43 B' and charge between 120 and 180 bucks, typically." and getting the reply "In reference to which law, please?"

#just German things #it was SGB XI #knock yourself out sir #it's 4-6 bucks a day to slow down the progression of dementia #just because it's something you don't like to think about doesn't mean it deserves to be underfunded #pay your damn nurses #pay your damn care workers #pay the people making sure your parents' minds don't regress to those of a lethargic gummi bear #stories from work #it's the one cost your care insurance covers in full no questions asked #focus on the abysmally low coverage for actual daily care if you want something to get mad about

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panicatthetwentyonechemicalboys · 26 days

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OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW

edit: i see a lot of people arguing over the 'eat the rich' thing and i'd like to clear up my standing currently! i know they aren't the same kind of fancy multi-million corporation that our beloved phrase talks about, and the reason i agree to a point with this comment is that watcher is evidently trying to become that. they're doing some shitty things in regards do disregarding poorer fans, and are seemingly blatantly ignoring the economic crisis by saying 'everyone can afford that!', all in direct contrast to their entire branding of being leftist and openly supporting things like eat the rich.

"You said 'eat the rich' then handed us the forks, laid on the plate, and expected us to spare you?" at least from my understanding isn't flat-out saying watcher are now the rich we eat, but are well on the track to becoming so, and are quickly developing the same ego.

BUT!! don't like people directly hating on steven like that!! they're all grown men who can make their own decisions, and pretending like shane and ryan are out little baby beans and then calling steven evil and whatnot isn't okay. they can all be held equally accountable. though i do somewhat understand being the most disappointed in shane, as he's the one who speaks on shit like eating the rich the most, and is generally more outward with his ideals, so it's perfectly reasonable to feel betrayed more deeply. but bottom line is they're all equally accountable for this decision.

some shit we can't take back. i probably got pissed and said some weird/uncool shit initially because of the intense emotions i was dealing with, which other people amplified. i do regret some of the things i've said to a point when it comes to being hateful, but i can't just un-say it all, so i'm not even going to try. i'm going to leave everything be and allow it to serve as something to look back on for what not to do in future circumstances. while this new path for watcher is, in my opinion, not the smartest and generally really shitty, they're human beings who make mistakes, and they deserve our acknowledgement of that.

in short, i don't like it but i'll stop being a bitch about it because they don't deserve that. also sorry for the wall of (probably incoherent lmao) text i got passionate <3

edit 2: guys. im screaming. the apology was amazing imo and i genuinely think they really mean it, like it doesn't seem bullshitted. i think they realized they fucked up for reals and feel bad. im so happy for them, but also for us as fans. yay :D

#watcher #watcher entertainment #we are watcher #shane and ryan #ryan bergara #ghoul boys #shane madej #i cant even bring myself to type 'all hail the watcher' as a tag anymore #sighhh

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luv4freddie · 4 months

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Fools - T.N

in which the only Hufflepuff friend in the group of slytherins develops a crush on Theodore Nott— something only fools do.

fem!hufflepuff reader, bff Pansy, use of euphemisms and teasing yn for being innocent but sfw, reader is very emotional, jealous theo, 2800 words

"Y/n!!"

After a year, you'd think that people would get used to seeing the same Hufflepuff go over to the Slytherin table, but alas, half the Great Hall turned to watch you approach the table and take a seat next to Pansy.

She sticks her middle finger up behind your back, aiming it at all of the people who are still staring, and they quickly turn away. It was an unlikely friendship, but she was not going to let anyone make you feel bad about it.

"About time you get here," Draco huffs, "I've had to hear Pansy's 'girl talk' while you were sleeping."

You smile sheepishly at him, you had taken your sweet time this morning, hitting snooze a few times before listening to your favorite record and doing more singing than actually getting ready— resulting in you being extra late to breakfast.

"Sorry, Draco."

"Don't apologize yn, he doesn't deserve it."

You can hear the teasing lilt in Theo's voice from across the table, and Draco throws a handful of grapes at him.

"Whatever," Pansy turns her back to them, "did you hear, apparently the Hufflepuff chaser has a crush on you."

Your eyes flit between her face and your hands, and you wonder where she got her information from.

The boys around you seem to perk up at this, and Draco chides Pansy for deeming that piece of information unimportant compared to all her other, much more useless, girl talk this morning.

"Where on Earth did you hear that?" You cut in, not enjoying the way everyone is suddenly interested in your (nonexistent) love life.

"From a very trustworthy source," is all she'll give away, and you cringe.

"Can we change subjects, please?"

Theo narrows his eyes at you, as if he's searching your face for something.

"You don't care about it then? You're not jumping at the chance to ride his broom?"

The Slytherins around you snicker at his euphemism, but you go bright red.

"I- what! Why would you say- no!"

This only makes them laugh harder, but Pansy collects herself enough to place a reassuring hand on your arm.

"Don't worry, we all know our little puff would never."

You slap her hand away, upset at them treating you like a child.

"Well if you guys are only gonna tease me, I'm gonna go back to my own table."

"Y/n, we didn't mean-" Theo starts, but he's still got a smirk on his face, so you ignore him, leaving before he can try and stop you.

You take a seat at your own house table, and the Hufflepuffs around you immediately welcome you into their conversation.

You don't know why it bothered you so much. They were right, you weren't going to be "riding someone's broom" anytime soon, but hearing the way they talked about it— like you were just some silly, innocent baby— really bugged you.

If you were being honest with yourself, you also knew that deep down you've been repressing feelings for Theodore, because you knew enough stories about him to know it would never work. He was a heartthrob, and had no issue finding girls to entertain him at night— to him you were just a little girl. That conversation was just more proof. There's no way he'd be interested in you.

You unintentionally make eye contact with Zacharias Smith when you finally get out of your head, but you immediately look away, turning back to your friends just as Hannah asks about your Christmas plans.

You don't see your Slytherin friends again until Charms class, and Pansy immediately brings up what happened at breakfast.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to feel bad, that's just how we are."

You give her a tight lipped smile, shrugging your shoulders. You've realized that most of the anger came from the realization that Theo probably saw you as a child, not actually their teasing.

"No biggie, it's forgiven."

She eyes you suspiciously but decides not to question it, instead starting to talk about her next party idea until she gets shushed when Professor Flitwick starts explaining directions.

You use the quiet moment to sneak a look at Theo, who's leaned back in his chair smirking at something Draco said next to him.

Pansy turns to you and you quickly shift your focus, but it appears she's already seen you. She gives you a raised eyebrow, and you play dumb, looking back at the teapot on your desk and trying to give it legs.

"What was that about back there?" Pansy asks as the two of you walk out together.

"I know it took me forever to get those stupid legs," you cringe, hoping to throw her off course.

"No I meant your staring."

You try not to look guilty, just shrugging your shoulders and explaining, "figured the boys might have figured it out faster. Should have known better."

She grins at that, muttering "you really should have." But something tells you she doesn't quite believe your story.

Your thoughts are only confirmed the next day when she invites you over to her dorm and then immediately suggests the two of you take veritaserum to play a game of truth or dare.

You let out a sigh.

"I'm not doing that Pans, just ask me whatever you want to know."

She grins, "you know me so well."

"Unfortunately," you tease, and she slaps your arm but asks her question anyway.

"Do you have a crush on Draco?"

Her face drops into confusion when you start laughing hysterically.

"That's what you thought? Merlin, you had me scared for no reason. No Pans, I absolutely do not have a crush on Draco."

She lets out a small sigh of relief, but you can tell she's a little peeved you laughed at her.

"Well what was I supposed to think? You got all grumpy yesterday when we were teasing you about your love life, and then the staring. It was either that or you're secretly in love with Nott, which, lets be for real."

She leaves it at that, but your cheeks flush pink. Be for real what? Be for real, he'd never want you? Be for real, what universe would the two of you work out? Be for real, he hates you?

The thoughts keep coming one after another, and suddenly your vision is blurred.

"Hey, woah, what's wrong?"

You cursed Pansy for being so observant.

"Nothing, I think my allergies are acting up." You say, but there's sadness in your voice, and there's an inch of snow outside, which isn't exactly pollen friendly.

"Don't lie to me y/n."

"I'm sorry for being so stupid and emotional." You cry, and Pansy rubs your back slowly.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being emotional! You don't see us do it much, but a lot of that's got to do with how we were raised. I wish I felt things as deeply as you do."

Your tears seem to slow, and she smiles.

"Now as for stupid, that depends on where that fit came from."

You look up at her in embarrassment, more hot tears threatening to fill your eyes.

"I... what did you mean?" You ask instead.

"Huh?"

"When you said be for real about me secretly being.." you couldn't bring yourself to say it, as if saying the words would make it true and something you could no longer push away and pretend wasn't there.

Realization dawns on Pansy's face, and she immediately wraps you up in a hug.

"Oh yn, it all makes sense now."

You continue to cry, and she looks at you with what you assume is pity in her eyes.

"I know, I'm such a fool! I know it would never happen, I know half of Hogwarts has a crush on him, I know he'd never want a girl like me." All of the things you'd been keeping to yourself and secretly thinking come spilling out of your mouth, and Pansy rubs your back while you continue to cry.

"Hey don't talk like that! Theo doesn't care about those people, and I know he cares about you. Not to mention, "a girl like you"? You're the exact type of girl that Theo needs. He practically never smiles the way he does when you're around. Just calm down okay?"

You nod through your cries, finally settling down as Pansy throws a magazine at you and the two of you lay across her bed.

Unknowingly, you end up falling asleep, tired from the amount of crying you did. Pansy notices but decides not to wake you, heading down to the common room where the guys would be getting back from quidditch practice soon.

When you wake up the room is dark, and a quick looks around reminds you you're in Pansy's room and not your own. You check the bathroom attached to the dorm, and when no one is in there you head down to the common room, assuming that's where she's gone to.

The whole group is sat on leather couches and armchairs when you make it down the stairs, and you rub the sleep out of your eyes as you approach the group.

"There's our assonnata bella," Theodore purrs, and you immediately flush even though you only understand half of his phrase. (sleeping beauty)

"Sorry for falling asleep." You apologize as you take the seat Pansy offered you, coincidentally landing between her and the reason for your crying.

"Stop apologizing so much," Theo whispers in your ear, and you refuse to look at him in fear of him seeing exactly the effect he has on you. Instead you continue to look at Pansy.

"No biggie, you needed it after that." She says, and you nod.

"After what? What happened?" Draco asked, ever the nosy weasel.

Pansy looked at you, obviously waiting for you to answer so she could go along with whatever you say.

You consider lying, but figure there's no point. They all know you're an emotional person, no one would find it unusual.

"I- uh- cried a little bit. Tired me out."

The boys (that you can see) all nod their heads in understanding and decide to switch topics, finally letting you relax.

However, since you'd turned your back to Theo, that now meant when you leaned back to get comfy you leaned directly into his chest, as he had one arm on the back of the couch behind you.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" You whisper, shooting back up and speaking only to him in an attempt to not draw attention from the others.

"Don't be silly," he says back, pulling your shoulders so you're back in the relaxed position against him, "you're welcome in my arms any day ragazza dolce." (Sweet girl)

You flush red again, but this time you do look up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes.

"You know I have absolutely no idea what you're saying, right?"

He grins, "that's part of the fun."

"Whatever," you turn back away from him to look at the group, your head resting right over his heart, "as long as you're not calling me a troll."

"I promise I'm not." He says, ruffling your hair before the both of you rejoin the main conversation.

"Zacharias Smith was at our practice today," Draco tells Pansy, and she looks at him in surprise.

"Really? Maybe he was looking for yn. She does sometimes keep me company in the stands."

"Oh he definitely was." Blaise smirks, and you feel Theo tense behind you. "Walked right up to Theo and asked where the pretty little one we're always hanging out with was."

"What?" Pansy shrieks, looking over, although you're unsure if the intentional target was you or the boy behind you. Her eyes momentarily widen at seeing your position before she notices something and smirks.

"Theo," she drawls, "I didn't notice those cuts on your knuckles earlier, is that new?"

Everyone turns to look at Theo, and you sit up in alarm, turning to look at his hand that's laying behind your spot on the couch.

"Theo! What happened? Why didn't you go get this checked out?"

He averts his eyes from your gaze. "Just wasn't thinking about it," he shrugs.

You frown. "How could you not be thinking about it, that looks painful!"

He shrugs again, grimacing when you grab his hand, insisting he let you heal it.

"Just let me go get my wand okay? I left it in Pansy's room."

You get up to leave, and with your back turned you don't see Pansy whisper to Theo and then him get up and follow you.

"I'll just come with." He announces, following you back to your friends room.

You try not to think about the intimacy of being alone with Theo while you tend to his wounds, trying once again to shove all your feelings down far in your heart.

Thankfully none of Pansy's roommates had come back, and Theo sits on her bed while you grab your wand from her nightstand before standing in between his spread legs.

"Give me your hand."

He complies, and you try not to blush at the warmth of his, much bigger, hand resting on your own.

"This is nasty Theo, did you punch a wall or something?" You ask, beginning to heal a few of the cuts. Luckily most of them were clean from where he'd washed them when he showered after practice, but they were scabbed over and his knuckles were blue with beginning to form bruises.

He lets out an amused huff of laughter and you stop your ministrations, looking up at him immediately.

"Tell me you didn't actually punch a wall."

He shrugs, "it was either that or Smith, and I know you don't like when I get into fights."

You feel yourself heat up. He didn't hit someone because of your preference, and the person just happened to be the guy who supposedly has a crush on you.

"Well I'm glad you didn't send my housemate to the hospital wing at least, although I wish you wouldn't have hurt yourself," you sigh, continuing to heal his hands.

Out of nowhere he pulls it away.

"Theo?"

"Look, I-" he cards a hand through his hair, contemplating his next words. "I didn't like it that Smith came looking for you. Especially that he asked me."

You look at him in confusion, "what? Why?"

He looks distraught, but he can't help the crooked smile that etches itself on his face.

"You're damn oblivious, you know that?"

You continue to look at him, no thoughts behind your eyes.

"Uh, I mean I guess? I've been told that a few times, though I'm not sure how it's pertinent to this situation."

Suddenly Theo's hands are on your cheeks, and his face is inches from your own.

"What- what are you doing?"

"I want to kiss you." He states plainly, as if it's the most normal thing in the world— as if the five words didn't have you spiraling out of control.

"Wait- do you want to kiss me because you think I'm like pretty or do you want to kiss me because you like me?"

You'd never even thought he would consider you pretty, but at his words you had to rethink a lot of things you thought you knew.

"I like you, amorina." (Little love)

"Really?" You know you should be celebrating, but you can't help the doubt that creeps into your mind. "You don't think I'm a silly, innocent, little Hufflepuff?"

He grins, "you can be my silly little Hufflepuff. And no I don't care that you're not jumping at the opportunity to go broom hopping."

You can't help but laugh a his phrasing, but you're glad he knew what you meant.

"I like you, amorina, I don't care about anything else, as long as I get you."

You smile, and Theo swears he could die happy if it's the last thing he sees.

"Well in that case, I want you to kiss me too."

He can barely hold back his own smile as he places his lips on yours, cradling your jaw with one hand while the other holds your hip.

He kissed you gently, not at all like what you'd expected, but you feel his adoration flowing out of it, and you can't help but break it to let out a giggle.

"And to think I was crying over you a few hours ago."

He grins, standing up and grabbing your hand to walk back down to the common room together, where your friends were waiting for you to go to dinner.

"No more crying over me okay?"

You nod your head, and he pulls you in for one more kiss before you rejoin the rest of your friends.

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