🎶 Hello, ER, my old friend... 🎶

I'd appreciate prayers, virtual hugs, funny posts, and good energy, as my left leg has gone numb and keeps seizing up. I'm in a ridiculous amount of pain and just beyond exhausted from weeks of intense nerve pain and declining leg and bladder function. It looks like spinal surgery is inevitable at this point, which sucks, but it's... better than the alternative (permanent nerve damage).

Thank you to those of you who have been keeping tabs on me through my recent health stuff and checking up on me! I love you all. I'll keep you posted as much as I am able in the coming weeks. 🥄💜

@sicktember Day 20: Cold Sweat

Warning for Appetite issues, past bullying incident, physical violence, verbal abuse, joint dislocation, joint subluxation, nightmare, mental health problems, mentioned antisemitism, and hospital mention.

I think I misunderstood the song because my leg bone is NOT connected to my hip bone.

Too sick to do pretty much anything but also bored as hell. Been spinning the southdown flax blend on my espinner cause why not, nobody has ordered any and I can make more if they did.

It's a very interesting spin. I spun a sample before I put it up for sale to make sure it wasn't awful, which it's not; but it is difficult. Not sure I would have been able to spin it before I learnt how to spin flax. You gotta keep an eye on both components as you work, making sure you're not leaving the southdown behind or letting the flax bunch up. It's easy once you are used to it, but still different.

The espinner I got working a little better by seating the drive band correctly. Still not a fan of the fact that I'm not directly in control of the speed... on a wheel or spindle I often want to slow down or stop but it's a pain on the espinner and it leads to uneven yarn. These things are weird.

Anyway. Dont know what I'll do with it but it's nice to spin again. Have been having trouble using my supported spindles bc of my shoulders. I know there's a way to lay down where you can spin supported without shoulder pain; the issue is I can't lay in one position for very long bc then everything else hurts. And of course supported is what i switched to after wheel spinning was too painful, which i got into because drop spindling was too painful. Can you tell how upset I am that spinning is being slowly taken from me. Haha. Anyway. Glad for the espinner in this regard.

Do able-bodied people daydream about using a wheelchair

hey fuckers who cursed my bones and tissues to be all wobbly

forgot i very wisely put my braces on because i'm busing all over town today doing pre-storm errands & i had a moment of being like "wow, weird, the bus drivers are being EXTRA nice to me..... with all the other passengers they seem to be in a hurry but for me they keep waiting to move til i fully take my seat... am i limping really badly today or something??"

and then i looked down at my bondage geared legs and was like oh. right.

girl. you are crippled.

duckduckgo search why did all of my collagen fall apart at the same time

man, there are days when I'm like "idk how much the ketamine treatments help" but then there are days like today where I woke up with a rib out of joint and I suffered for hours before giving in and taking my treatment a day early (which was okayed by my doctor) and I fell asleep during the treatment and woke up like. rib back in and only mildly sore.

like using this stuff is not perfect (the dehydration alone is hard to deal with) but there are days when it's such a lifesaver.

*takes muscle relaxers and pain medicine for subluxation*

Me: im not in pain and I can move around a bit. I was being dramatic and should have gone to work! Probably shouldn't have scheduled that doctor's appointment.

*medication wears off*

Me: I'm in so much pain. Do I need to go to the ER? Am I going to get any sleep tonight? I feel like I can't move. Help.

hypermobile people, does this sound like a subluxation?

i'll be totally fine, and then a joint is suddenly painful, weak, and unstable. usually my knee, which buckles and makes it difficult to walk, sometimes my shoulder, which then hurts to lift, or my knuckle, and probably other joints that i don't remember. i'll just be walking around with a shitty joint for a little bit, and then it'll suddenly be fine again. sometimes the recovery is more gradual. i don't notice anything that makes me think "wow, that feels like a bone moved out of its proper place," but like. a joint suddenly goes fucky and i guess it would make sense if that was because it was in the wrong position.

my mom has hEDS. afaik i don't have any weird bendy joints and hypermobile "party tricks" like her (she has a lot), so i never thought i was hypermobile, but when i told her sometimes my joints suddenly hurt and then go back to normal, she said it might be a partial dislocation.

Is there a guide out there about joint relocation? We all sort of figure some of them out but man I can never get my ankles to go back in it just eventually happens by the Gods' will, and I would love if my hip could stop right now.

I realize this isn't helping my "I don't actually have hypermobility" case but sometimes i see Classic Hypermobile Body Positions™ and im like. crying gritted teeth This is A Normal Way to Sit What r u Talking About

anybody want to trade musculoskeletal systems because mine is driving me to madness at the moment

That hypermobile feel when you go to bed and finally get to pop all your joints that have felt weird all day 😌