#jaytim funny
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😍 i love them. I love Tim and Jason having the annoying diving dynamic but also will do anything ….
#digital drawing#batfam#batboys#my art#angst#digital art#batbros#batfamily#artoftheday#jason todd#fluff#red hood#batfam crack#dc artwork#dc comics#batfam social media au#jason todd fic#tim drake#jaytim#jaytim funny#jason todd fluff#jason todd au#feral tim drake#tim drake fluff#tim drake is a menace#Jason and Tim being feral#jason and tim#Jason and batfam#the batfamily#batfamily shenanigans
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Ok, boomer.
#dc#dc comics#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#red robin#red hood#I can’t decide if I think Tim is saying this to nightwing or Batman#but it’s definitely one of them and Jason thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s heard in weeks#my art#digital art#batbros#fanart#dc fanart#I hope this is as funny to y’all as it is to me and my very feverish mind#could be jaytim if u want
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i think tim is high maintenance the way a boarder collie or austrialian shepherd is. like you have to make sure they're not only given space to expend energy but you have to specifically let them get the herding instinct out and challenge them intellectually or they start destroying ur home
#tim drake#red robin#jaytim#i think cohabitating would require resigning yourself to your gear going missing for 2-5 business days before returning slightly improved#or coming back to the microwave disassembled across the couch#this happens and jason is like ok im gonna pop over to the gcpd and grab u a cold case do Not touch my stand mixer#but also have to stop him from reaching critical levels of boredom that results in poking the league with a stick#because then gotham is being overrun by ninja 2 months from now#this is harder for jason to curb because an incensed ra's is so goddamn funny to the both of them#dcu#i know tim hating the ceo job is easy whump but consider he needs minimum 5 plates spinning at all times to keep the Thoughts at bay#and WE probably is such low stakes for manipulation tactics its stress relief at this point
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random older (longer haired) jaytim doodle for funsies
#it was super funny to me when i thought of it#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#jaytim#my art
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Haven't any clue if this will make it into the final draft (honestly, it probably won't), but it's just making me laugh too hard not to share:
"I vividly remember him very specifically saying he wasn't grateful about that," Jason helpfully reminded.
Tim rolled his eyes and sighed. "You don't think they might not feel a little more positively toward us since we compensated—"
"Bribed." Jason interjected.
"—since we bribed them," Tim allowed, without pausing, "and [... spoilers]?"
"...Maybe if we add a fruit basket?" Jason offered, extremely dubiously.
Tim, unfortunately, looked like he thought that was a brilliant idea.
"They're still going to slam the fucking door in our faces," Jason said flatly.
Tim turned back to his laptop, already typing away. "Ah, but would they slam the door on an edible arrangement!"
"Yes."
Tim paused briefly. He resumed typing. "I think you're underestimating the type of fruit sculpture money can buy."
Jason sighed and resigned himself to a clown show full of pineapple and bitter defeat, the likes of which had never been seen before, in his near future.
#snippets#As for why it probably won't make it in: it's just too cracky for this fic. But maybe I can repurpose most of it elsewhere at some point#It IS really funny to me.#jaytim
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Lmaoo this is turning into a smau but I swear there’s no real story behind this,,,
On the other hand, Tim and Robin are now mutuals
#batfam#batman#tim drake#jason todd#red robin#batfam social media au#dc social media au#fake posts social media edits#robin#timothy drake#robin jason todd#Tim is writing an x reader fanfi. but that does not mean I ship Jason and Tim#I just thought it would be funny that Tim write wattpad x reader fics#no I’m a batcest anti#as well as a jaytim or whatever tf the name is anti#Tim is a fanboy#fanboy Tim Drake#Tim’s stan account
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Timtober Day 5: Villian
"Do you trust your partner, Redhood?:
#sorry guys i forgot to post this here!!!!#jaytim#comic#timtober#kidnapping#being funny is hard#uhhhh#dark joke?#idk i dont want to trigger someone on accident
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JayTim orgasm denial and edging
Tim doesn't know how long they've been at it. How long it's been since he started balancing on the edge of orgasm. The only certainty he has is that he wants to come—No, he needs to come.
"Fuck!" he gasps, yanking on his restraints. “Please!”
Jason's grip on his shoulder tightens in warning. The other man is slick with sweat, his cheeks red with exertion. Short pants fall from his lips as he keeps fucking himself on Tim's cock, his thigh muscles flexing deliciously. He must be just as ready to burst… yet, judging by the silent disapproval in his glare, he's not planning to give Tim what he needs any time soon.
With a desperate keen, Tim scrabbles for purchase on the mattress. He tries to buck up, to bury himself into the hot clutch of Jason's body hard enough to push himself over the edge.
Instead, he cries out in pain as Jason's palm connects with his cheek.
"Stay. Still."
"Please, Jay, please," Tim begs. His cheek smarts but it's nothing compared to the ache in his balls, "I'll do anything, just let me come. I can't—"
"Ask me again, and you won't get to come at all."
Tim lets his head fall back against the headboard with a heavy thud. He closes his eyes and sinks his nails into his palms in a desperate bid for control. Every roll of Jason's hips sends a jolt of pure pleasure up his spine. He feels too big for his skin, drawn tight and seconds away from unraveling at the seams.
Jason lets out a wanton moan, and a tortured whine falls from Tim’s lips. He can't focus. He can't think. He's burning and burning with no relief in sight. He wants to be good — to let Jason use him however he wants to — but he can barely breathe with the effort of holding himself back.
“I can't. I'm sorry, I can't—Please let me,” he babbles wetly, lashes clinging together.
With a growl, Jason takes himself in hand, jerking off hard and fast with his lip caught between his teeth. Tim stares, barely aware of the tears spilling down his cheeks at the continued stimulation.
(Jason's so beautiful. His expression grows tortured as he approaches the edge, but it only makes him look more handsome. Tim can't believe he's allowed to be here, to be the one to bring Jason to orgasm. He wishes he could be his toy, made for nothing but to please him.)
Jason tenses all over with one final moan, and Tim shudders as warmth covers his chest in spurts.
This should be it. He's served his purpose. He made Jason come, and he didn't shoot off without permission, surely this means—
Tim feels Jason relaxing over him, his weight settling more firmly across his lap. He doesn't make a move to pull off Tim's cock, but he's not bouncing anymore. In fact, his body grows lax around the hard length inside of him.
Realization hits Tim like a punch to the gut. Sobs wracking his frame, he starts crying in earnest as his cock flexes.
He made Jason come.
He didn't come without permission.
But he kept asking when he was told not to, and he knows what that means.
He won't be coming tonight.
And he deserves it.
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i just remembered when spotify was trending here my jaytim art was in the first few posts because i forgot if you link a song under your post the spotify # was going to appear there automatically 💀 was minding my own business then JUMPSCARE
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I just saw the titans s4 trailer and
Jason is training tim?
While bernard is dying???
Omg
Jason todd homewrecker AU confirmed⁉️⁉️ /j
#jaytim#LMAO THIS IS SO FUNNY#i know the ao3 authors who wrote fic of tim cheating with jason are giggling rn😭#apollo rlly gave them the gift of prophecy omg#this is a joke btw antis plz don’t bring guillotine on me 💔#jason todd#tim drake
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the what time stamp from sit, stay, speak 👀👀 i ate that fic up i need to know all extras about it
fjsldkajf Ok. When I wrote those tags this timestamp was PURELY HYPOTHETICAL. BUT WHELP.
Cross-posting it to AO3 too lmao
“Wait, wait, wait. I can’t be hearing this right. You were a dog? For a week?”
Tim sighs. He looks over at Dick before returning to the surveillance clips he’s sorting through.
“Yes.”
“And Jason didn’t know.”
“No.”
“Jason took care of you. For a whole week. Thinking you were just a normal dog. Jason.”
“Yes, Dick,” Tim says, long-suffering.
And how long he has suffered.
Ever since Babs let it slip to Dick that Tim had been AWOL for a week and could use some help getting his cases in order, he’s been subjected to grilling from everyone. Even Cass texted him, demanding he spill it all. (She sent a single dog emoji, followed by an eyes emoji. Her methods of interrogation are as effective as they are inscrutable.) He’s had to explain the entire thing at least four times now, and it always comes back to the same ribbing questions.
“Wait. So does that mean— you actually ate dog food?” He stares at Tim with wide eyes, equal parts aghast and intrigued.
Tim wishes he were surprised.
“What— yes, Dick, I was a dog. Jason bought dog food and wouldn’t really feed me other stuff. So I ate dog food.”
“What did it taste like?”
“I don’t— like it smells? I don’t know, Dick, dogs have less oral sensory receptors than humans do. It was food. I was hungry. I ate it. It didn’t smell as good as the eggs or bacon did, but—”
“Todd fed you bacon,” Damian interrupts, eyes narrowing.
Tim glances at him, not sure what to do about the weird note in his voice.
It’s the first thing Damian’s said about the whole affair other than to roll his eyes and mutter a scathing ‘typical’ under his breath. He couldn’t have projected ‘I don’t care about your incompetencies’ any harder; but he also didn’t leave the room when Dick finally cornered Tim into explaining it all in detail.
And he’s here in the first place, in Tim’s Nest, helping with the mess. So.
“...Yes? A few times.”
Damian’s face twists into a dark scowl. “Tch. Idiot. There’s far too much salt in bacon, was he trying to kill you?”
Tim stares.
“Humans can eat a much wider range of foods than many animals,” Damian sniffs. “Most of what we eat should either be considered a treat or not eaten at all. This is basic. A child would know this.”
Tim doesn’t say anything about getting this unprompted lecture from a teenager.
“If Todd couldn’t be bothered to do even a basic internet search, I loathe to think of that man ever owning a real dog.”
“Who’s getting a real dog?”
Jason comes clomping down the stairs from the apartment with a grocery bag in hand. Tim’s heart does something he didn’t tell it to when he comes into view, holding a pack of Tim’s favorite energy drinks tucked under his arm. Jason doesn’t even drink those. He says they taste like death and chemicals, and he should know. Tim might swoon.
“No one,” Tim says at the same time as Damian says, “Not you.”
Jason frowns. “I could get a real dog, why can’t I get a real dog?”
Damian immediately rounds on Jason. “Please. You’re lucky it was Drake you were caring for and not an actual animal. You would have killed it!”
Jason scoffs as he crosses the walkway to lean casually against Tim’s computer desk. “Oh, come on. No way I would have killed it. Dogs are bouncier than that.”
Damian sputters, before launching into a tirade about proper animal care. Jason smiles serenely, always ready to wind up Damian as Dick looks on, partly amused and partly concerned, and Tim tries to bite down on his snickering.
Jason sets down the six pack and pulls one off, handing it to Tim. Their fingers brush over the cool, wet metal, and Jason winks at him. Tim nearly fumbles the can.
“Maybe I should get a dog,” Jason muses, interrupting Damian’s rant before he can get started on the importance of socializing. He slants a grin at Tim. “What do you think, Timmy? How would you rate the Jason Todd experience?”
Tim’s thoughts go briefly X-rated before he gets ahold of himself.
“Zero out of ten,” he says flatly, cracking the tab on his drink. “Would not recommend.”
Jason’s grin turns sharp. It's an expression that clearly says 'that's not what you were saying last night'.
“Oh?”
Tim makes a face at him around the can as he takes a swig. He hopes Jason reads it as ‘shut the fuck up, Dick and Damian are right here’ and not a challenge to see how far he can push it.
Thankfully he’s saved by Dick. First Robin, best Robin.
“You here to help out too?” Dick asks, clearly excited at the idea and trying not to show it, in fear of scaring Jason off.
“Nah,” Jason says, not unkindly. “Just swingin’ by. I had a suspicion that Timbit’s fridge would be about as empty as the last time I saw it.”
Tim squints at his screen, thinking back to lunch and trying to remember if he can defend himself honestly, but he’s pretty sure he just ate a snack bar from the pantry. He doesn’t think he’s so much as looked in the fridge since the morning he turned back into a human. He’d watched Jason make them breakfast from his place seated on the counter; Jason nearly burned the bacon, then blamed Tim for being…distracting.
(He maintains that the spell simply wore off after seven days. Significant numbers are also a thing in magic. Or was it nine days? It doesn’t matter. It was not true love’s kiss. Jason kissed him on the head the night before he changed back, but that doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.)
Anyway.
Dick and Jason are chatting idly while Damian sulks in his corner. They seem to be comparing notes on Tim— and Damian’s— bad habits, but at least they’ve stopped asking him about the dog thing. Jason’s timing couldn’t have been better.
Gratitude for Jason swells in his chest. Tim watches him with a growing flutter in his stomach, and when Jason glances his way, caught, he smiles at Tim. It’s soft, conspiring. It rivals the moon.
“Alright,” Jason announces. “It’s about time I headed off.” From his corner, Damian grumbles something that sounds like ‘finally’.
“Thanks for coming by, Jay,” Dick says, clasping his arm. “Always good to see you.”
Jason ducks his head. “Yeah, yeah.”
He turns to Tim. “Try not to die of starvation while I’m gone, princess,” Jason says, ruffling Tim’s hair with a heavy hand.
Tim’s cheeks pink up. Princess? He’s about to— protest, surely, but Jason leans down over his chair, leaning in close.
“I’ll see you later?” He asks quietly, looking hopeful, his hand still warm on Tim’s neck. Tim can’t help how shy his answering smile is. In his periphery, Dick’s eyebrows shoot way up, and the tips of Tim’s ears go red-hot.
“Y-Yeah,” he says, super smoothly. “I’ll be here.”
“Good.”
All hope of playing it off to Dick and Damian goes right out the window when Jason leans in and pecks his mouth with a short kiss. And then a not so short kiss.
Tim untangles his fingers from the lapels of Jason’s jacket reluctantly, opening his eyes in time to see Jason’s pink face and self-satisfied smirk before he’s turning around and hustling back up the stairs to the apartment. Presumably he’s putting the groceries away before going on his own patrol. Dick and Damian stare after him.
Tim can’t even be mad at Jason for dropping that little bomb and then escaping. He’d have done the same if their positions were reversed.
Of course, the second Jason disappears, Dick and Damian whip their heads around to look at Tim with big-eyed stares, one maliciously gleeful, one truly disgusted. Then they start talking over each other. Loudly.
“Timothy Drake-Wayne, explain yourself immediately—”
“I need bleach for my eyes, Drake—”
Okay. He can be a little mad.
#asjlkdfasj#this is your fault cordelia#i wasn't going to write it but it's too funny not to#jason is mean for doing that to tim fufufu#hardlycats#jaytim#my writing
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Okay Chapter 9 of Know Yourself is up!! Here’s the preview as always!
-
Tim stared at the stairs for a while after Jason went up them, trying to shove all of his feelings back in the box they belonged in. By the time Jason made it back down the stairs, he was making himself at home in front of the computer.
Jason sort of wanted to smash the thing to fucking pieces. He sank into a brief fantasy where he shot a hole in the CPU and pistol whipped the monitors until he couldn’t recognize a piece of a piece of them, then set all of it on fire. It would be warm like a hearth, heating the Nest while he curled back up on the couch with Tim.
Except Tim would probably never speak to him again, and curling back up on the couch with him was not what he was supposed to want.
But still. The fantasy was nice.
Jason leaned against the corner of the wall by the stairs, crossing his arms over his chest and sighing at Tim.
“What?” Tim asked.
keep reading
#know yourself#jaytim#jaytimfic#batwrites#I thought this bit was SO fucking funny#thank you once more for being so patient!!!#hopefully it will not take me two months and a week to get the next chapter out
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jaytim silly fic
I was in the mood to try writing drabbles, but I forgone chosen prompt in the middle of writing and this lacked few words I don't know where to put to make it a drabble (if I'm counting right).
So, have a silly fic. Not beta-ed.:
------------------------------------
Tim caught Jason's face in his hands. His thumbs wiped the tears falling down from his boyfriend's eyes.
"Listen, Tim..."
Tim shushed him. "It's alright Jay. I'm here now. Everything will be alright."
"Tim, I'm sorry but it isn't..."
"Shhh! No sorries, Jay."
"Could you at least–"
"I'll do everything for you." Tim got closer, looking directly into Jason's eyes. "Everything."
Jason thought that in this moment he looked crazy.
"Hey! You guys alright?"
"Finally!" Jason shouted. "Dick, he's drugged and I got teargassed. Get him away from me, so I could wash my eyes!"
#jaytim#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#I just added words so I'm not sure how long it is now but the og in my physical notepad had 91 words#fun fact: og also had 'husband' instead of 'boyfriend' bc I was writing with wangxian in mind but the fic said I shall write “Listen Tim”#so we are doing jaytim being silly#although I could left with husband#next time#Maruda writes#I don't like this version exactly but it's still funny for me#this author doesn't remember and didn't bother checking how teargas works so I'm not sure if washing his eyes is the first thing Jason shou#should do
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it is so funny to me when either tim or jay stans get mad bc the other showed up in their book. like yeah oops we collected alpod in this ditf reprint sorry. or like Oops tim is still nominally the 2nd-string robin but in practice still locked in the DC basement sorry but we will let him out for 2 issues to be in an event with jason~
its just funny to me idk its funny. They keep doing this
#and then dcs jaytim fanfic isnt even good 😔#dc.#a while back i saw someone complaining about The State Of Things and tjey said spitefully#'i hope dc has tim have a lustful encounter with neutered jason'#wnd the phrasing just makes me wheeezeeee its so funny to me#lustful encounter with neutered jason!!!!
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for the ask game: jaytim (but the jaytim you post has a specific tone to it—it’s generally much softer than what i normally see for them on my dash, breath of fresh air <3) + cute animals
less to do with what you post but whenever i see a deep purple now on my dash (art, colored text) i associate it with you
<33333 ahhh thank~ i vibe with the sharper / bitier / darker jaytim, but its just not what comes out when i sit down to write! im happy to bring something different to the table tho~ that's the fun of fandom~
cute animals shouldn't have surprised me; i do post a lot of them xD (i also went through a phase where i posted a lot of landscape/scenery photography; i like to go through my pretty tag now and then to look at it lol)
that makes me v happy! 💜💜💜 i actually had to cut down on the amnt of purple things i own bc it got to be too much~ so now my bedroom is purple & turquoise xD
#the funny part of this is that i actually tried to write a darker take on jaytim this morning#w obsessive tim#it STILL came out soft asfjafafafajkl#im not like. UPSET about it i just dk how it keeps happening#felinemotif#thank you cordy <3#asks and answers
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Lmao not antis trying to follow my blog 😭 like please scroll down a bit and you'll see my blog is def not for you
#i was almost excited when someone in the batman/dc fandom followed me#but then i saw they're an anti#like i reblogged some jaytim pretty recently did they not scroll down#always so funny to me
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