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strawbs-screaming · 7 months

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☆ punch out sexuality headcanons ☆

im running out of funny things to say help me, also tw for mentions of homophobia & transphobia

Glass Joe

- aromantic asexual (sex neutral, romance positive) + trans, he/him

- Just because hes ace doesnt mean he doesnt make inappropriate jokes on a daily basis, if there was a ranking of who made the most sexual jokes he'd be at the top

- when he came out as trans to his parents they were suprisingly supportive even though they didnt understand much, it just went like: "mom, dad, im a boy and if you dont like that too bad" "we dont care as long as you dont murder anyone" And they were generally chill with him

- when he first binded he used bandages & cloth instead of a actual binder (before he came out) and due to that he almost wasnt able to get top surgery

- has faked a lot of crushes to fit in during his childhood, ended up dating 3-5 people he didnt even like

- thought his gender envy was attraction until he just asked himself "do i wanna be them or be with them" And boom, gender confusion

- fell down the "im not like other girls!" to "im not a girl." pipeline

Von Kaiser

- demiromantic, demisexual + bi with a preference for men, he/they

- when he didnt know the demi labels he just saw himself as a picky dater, when he saw the demi labels he was like "Wait thats me" And pretty much ascended on the spot

- thought everyone just liked both men & women until he said it out loud and got met with pure shock

- his first crush was a famous model he saw in a fashion magazine, also slipping down the "do i wanna be them or be with them" pipeline

- his dad wasnt really supportive but became a bit more open minded once he realized that his hatred distanced himself from his son even more

Disco Kid

- nonbinary,gay, he/she

- okay with both feminine & masculine terms

- somebody tried to call him "princess" to insult him when he was little, instead he took it as a compliment and saw them as a friend, still in contact with said person & theyre besties now, the princess thing has become a nickname for him

- when he first came out his parents were like "the closet was wide open" and were not suprised at all, they saw it coming 1000 miles away as soon as he started it out with the "i have to say something important"

- started doing make up & playing around with dresses thanks to a close friend of his (the childhood friend) , when he first put on a dress he was like "i think i realized something"

King Hippo

- #1 label hater + all pronouns

- if he were to use labels, he would count as gender apathetic and pan oriented aroace

- labels are for losers to him

- not out but his parents know that he doesnt give a shit about labels, they first found out when he didnt care about being called "queen" and liked it, they have no problem with it

Piston Hondo

- pan, cis (?) + he/him but likes to refer to himself with feminine pronouns in japanese

- not out to his parents but dropping hints, theyre struggling to pick up on it and hes going mad over it

- going through some major gender questioning™

- playing around with dresses & femininity and enjoying it

Great Tiger

- polysexual (prefs are enbies, men & genderqueer ppl), genderqueer + all pronouns

- closeted it but trying to make it clear hes not straight,its just flying over his parents head like "oh me oh my our son is sure close with his friends!! Such close bros"

- likes dresses not only for spinning skirts but also how comfy they are

Bear Hugger

- gay, bear (ITS IN THE NAME. COME ON THE CLOSET IS GLASS), trans + he/him but ok with they/them

- when he first came out there was a lot of crying, not in the "i wont accept this wahh" way but more in the "i cant believe you trusted me enough to tell me this" way

- didnt know he was trans until he said "yeah i like being called son, yeah i like being called manly, im a girl though" out loud and he was like "wait a minute"

- has had 2-3 boyfriends during his teen years and is still in touch with them since the break ups were done without any harsh feelings & grudges, hes the only person that can see his exes all chatting together and not die of a heart attack on the spot

Don Flamenco

- gay, trans + he/they

- got called gay way before he knew it since he kept calling his male friends handsome often, always passed it off like "cant a man call his friend handsome?"

- the only feminine terms he will accept is queen and aunt, refer to him as anything other than that and he will punch you to orbit

- cut off contact with his parents since they didnt accept him & kicked him out, the only person who took him in was his aunt, she helped him get t & bind safely before he got top surgery

Aran Ryan

- genderfluid, pomosexual + all pronouns

- label hater but still uses them because why not

- came out in the most casual way possible, was just chilling on the couch with his dad and he just said "i kinda like being called miss sometimes" from boredom just to see dad go "huh??"

- sometimes does drag when he feels fem

Soda Popinski

- gay, cis + he/him

- Rocky dating history, most break-ups of his were really sad since it was either forced by family members or over arguments

- exes with bald bull but they still get along & dont care about their past, they just had better platonic connection and decided together

- out but not, making it clear hes a bit fruity but not too much for it to snowball into "the rumour come out: does soda popinski is gay?"

Bald Bull

- Boyflux, gay + he/they

- flamboyantly gay and cannot hide it no matter how much he tries, the closet is not even present, show him someone he has a crush on and you'll hear the gayest squeal in your life before he evaporates into thin air and holds you at gunpoint

- has the Don Flamenco issue going for him, compliments his male friends and calls them handsome wayyy too often, this time its 99% more obvious

- either really bitter with his exes or close friends, no inbetween, if you tell him "yeah your exes asked about you, theyre there" theres a 50% chance its gonna have his soul physically exit him and another 50% chance hes gonna walk right over to them and say hi

- not out publicly since it would cause a shitstorm, only out to a few people he trusts, has issues trusting people to not say his secrets since a close friend of his outed him during his teen years

Super Macho Man

- bi (slight pref for women), cis + he/she

- didnt really come out, he just showed up to his parents door with his (now ex) bf and was like "heyy say hi to my boyfriend" and everyone just kinda accepted it

- thought the attraction to men was envy for a long time until he learned the fact that wanting to be lifted into the arms of a man and making out with said man is not really straight

Mr Sandman

- gendervoid, demiromantic, acespec, pan + all pronouns

- feels like he should be more masculine but cant bring himself to it,he cant force his behavior to act in a way that doesnt fit him

- out and about, hes not repressing himself for anyone

#tw homophobia #Tw transphobia #punch out #headcanon #punch out wii #punch out headcanons #don flamenco #bald bull #glass joe #piston hondo #aran ryan #great tiger #von kaiser #disco kid #king hippo #i had fun doing this #i like researching about identities a lot so this was very enjoyable #“Why is most of the minor circuit ace & arospec-” FIREBALL ATTACK #if u disagree: nuh uh

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tumblasha · 4 months

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why was i like that (tl;dr in tags)

today i clicked on sgc's ig profile and saw that they use they/them pronouns now. and it makes me want to cry.

bc even tho we Literally went to high school together-ish (they were 3yrs after me?) we had such different experiences.

i was a Girl who hung out with guys who didn't respect me, went out with a boyfriend who was nice to me, and was too shy / awkward / busy being that shy nerd stereotype [1] that i had no "deep friendship". you could ask anyone anything about me and they wouldn't know the answer! and i wouldn't know anything about them!! [2] bc we were a small class (169) and everyone in town was a mix of neighbor and cousin, i got my invites to parties and dances, but i overall felt like i was on autopilot. i don't remember my life until i was ~16 [3]!! why!!!

i think a lot about how dr uju anya had a whole husband and child but over time realized she was a lesbian. not to parasocialize too much with this academic weapon, but i feel like i also had this experience (to a much smaller / younger degree). and i feel so sad thinking about how i could've saved so much pain in high school if i had just known i wasn't wired to like guys like that [4].

and i remember lindie [5], someone who's ~30 now and has been with her now-husband since she was ~13. one day we had a good phone call (post-hs-graduation) and she told me that for literally everyone else she could possibly see romantically / sexually, she's a lesbian. but she and her husband have literally Grown Up together. her love for him is something that goes beyond platonic / romantic / sexual attraction. it's a life partnership in every sense of the term.

this phone conversation lit a lightbulb in my summer 2019 brain. i knew that this high school bf of mine could be a life partner. we started dating when i was 11 or 12 and !!! we both saw each other grow up (at least to some degree). but something in the pit of my stomach told me i couldn't live a lie like that. it wouldn't be fair to him for me to have this self-discovery and just .. continue as if it didn't happen?

and so when someone said that dr. uju's pre-lesbian marriage was "sad" bc she didn't know she was a lesbian, i got (in my head) defensive. bc "it's totally possible to be happy and ignore this part of yourself!" (it's not).

for the longest time i told myself that being bisexual was the easiest sexuality to have bc i knew i liked women and i could always just end up with a guy to make my family happy, if i had to, ya know? i got mentally defensive when ppl online said that "invisibility is not a privilege" and "biphobia is real" bc i was subconsciously using this label as a way to hide the fact that the mere thought of a life with a man made me anxious / nauseous / scared.

and boy did that fear kick into overdrive anytime i was around a guy. if he even smiled at me, i'd go a little silly. it didn't even matter if he was straight, bi, ace, gay, or anything, i'd just latch onto the fact that it was a Man talking to me and i couldn't stop thinking about them and any comment they made that made them seem bored / annoyed at me made me spiral about my self-worth. but if there was ever a case that i Thought they even Maybe had an interest in me, i'd get nauseous again. to this day i feel like i still put guys up on a pedestal so i just have ... no guy friends [6].

this novel is a silly way of saying the following things.

the label "lesbian" is a vibe rn

heartstopper is a painful show for me to watch

sorry if ur a guy i met before i turned 20 that i was weird around : ( /nbh

sgc looks so happy. they're out and they look so happy. why couldn't that be me.

why was i like that.

---

[1] i had a goofy jock bf tho so was it really so bad?

[2] and to a certain degree this continues today? i don't know how to hold a conversation, i don't know how to ask questions, i don't have good memory of the conversations i Do manage to hold, my #1 fear is playing the newlyweds game with literally anybody. i once described making friends as 'learning a person's scripts / common conversation topics' and the other person in the room just kinda said 'haha yeah...' and i continued to pset :skull:

[3] and 16-17 was my sad era where i cried basically any time my bf and i were alone together. that man was so patient w me lmao

[4] why do i always say no? why can't i just calm down? why is it weird to describe us as 'friends but we also make out'?

[5] one of the coolest ppl i know. (death + suicide mentioned in this footnote) she was the french teacher that replaced my old french teacher after she died, and lindie really suffered for us. bc it was a catholic school, she was forced to cover up her tattoos, and she had to wear longer clothes (admin always told her to cover up even when she was wearing Long Clothes). she went through so much (miscarriage, lost here sense of self, etc.) and was literally suicidal but she still showed up for us. one of my fav teachers and an inspiration to this day.

[6] except for the two dudes (that might be) reading this, y'all are cool and literally the best. afaik i've been Normal around y'all so yay! growth!!

#tl;dr: if it wasn't obvious i used to be a pick-me LMAO but now i'm better (nonbinary lesbian? that seems good for now)#/nbh = nobody here (tone tag)#this is a jumbled mess #pls don't feel pressured to read this #just hit that like button and keep scrolling wahfioejwa #dash rambles #coming out #sorta

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boy-above · 1 year

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genshin identity headcanons cause i wanna share:

venti: i suppose the closest thing in gender would be demiboy? with beings like him i consider them to be born without a gender, so calling them cis or trans feels odd because they were never assigned one to begin with. he has all the genders but also none, but is boy adjacent. prefers he/him, but also likes being called feminine things like wife, bride, maiden etc.

xiaoxiao: also born genderless but sees himself as a man, i think his masculinity is important to him (but does not stop him from having pretty eyeliner). demisexual/demiromantic, has only loved one (1) man in his life. venti was his first time, but luckily venti has been alive for 2600+ slutty, slutty years and is very experienced.

scara: trans man, was created in the likeness of a woman but decided he didn't like that actually and chopped his hair off. gay, but has a complicated relationship with love because of *gestures at all of him as a person*. was in love with niwa but never loved again, until he found one (1) maple boy

maple boy: a simple gay man. i tend to see him as cis. he and mouchie are peak 'i'll find you in every lifetime'.

heizou is gay cis man but is very gnc. usually i like kazuha and scara to be exclusive but heikazuscara is also really good. heizou and scara would be competitive and love fighting each other but would do Anything for kazuha. they're in their get along shirt. they're gonna fuck in the get along shirt.

albedo: aro/ace. doesn't care much about gender but prefers masculine terminology, is probably smooth like a ken doll down there. he has a complete disinterest in sex and could probably sit there and watch ppl go at it in a completely detached scientific way. would take notes. interesting research material.

razor, bennett, and fischl: all of them are bi and polyam. razor doesn't know what a gender is and doesn't care what people call him, he doesn't pay attention much. as long as they know he's razor and he's a wolf then they've got it covered as far as razor is concerned. bennett is a trans boy, lucky to be surrounded by sososososo many supportive dads. fischl is a trans girl who of course had her trans awakening when she realized how much she wanted to be pretty and cool like her favorite book character. also they're all autistic i don't make the rules. fischl also has something going on with mona sometimes but it's on and off and not as serious as with the other two. "my name is razor and this my boyfriend bennett and our girlfriend fischl, and this her girlfriend mona" basically.

layla is an ace lesbian who falls in love with every pretty girl who is nice to her, but doesn't have time to pursue a relationship because of how busy she is with school ): her dreams are full of said pretty girls though.

i think i also see barbara as an ace lesbian as well, she is the cutest little blorbo.

ayaka is very obviously bi. i think she and kokomi would be rly cute together. that's my rarepair of the day.

tighnari and cyno are both arospec gay. perhaps demiromantic. love dick, probably wouldn't be chasing it if they didn't have each other though. trans tighnari supremacy. sumeru is the best place to be if you wanna transition.

xingqiu is a catty, mean ass gay. babygirl hes noncomforming to genders you've never even heard of. any pronouns are fine. his boyfriend chongyun is cis and there's not a thought in his head. he doesn't fully understand xingqiu's gender stuff but he's got the right spirit. i don't think i have a preference for whether chongyun would be gay or bi. he and xingqiu have been attached at the hip for their whole lives so he's never had to put much thought into it.

xinyan, yun jin, and xiangling are polyam. xiangling and xinyan are bi while yun jin is a lesbian. yun jin is also a trans lady, and they all love each other very much. yun jin and shenhe would be cute too but i think i prefer aro/ace shenhe.

gorou is a cis gay who has definitely experienced gay panic™️ before. he really thought he liked girls but realized he just rly admires a lot of the women in his life but doesn't actually like them that way (kokomi for example). im fascinated by how a man can be such an exemplary twink while still being so straight. he didn't have to come out because everyone already knew before he did.

itto is a cis man, and he's a pan legend. he doesn't know that word though, he'd just tell you that everyone is hot. definitely doesnt have a thought in his head when it comes to gender but is supportive. shinobu is a trans woman and is bi and aspec. when itto found out she was trans he was like "shinobu is so smart she really Can do everything :0"

jean and diluc are both bi and are exes and i think they could get up to a lot of silly ex shenanigans. they parted on friendly terms obviously.

furina is my precious boygirl, she is bigender and transmasc, and she's bisexual. any pronouns are fine. i feel like she would also have a crush on anyone who's nice to her.

#reblogging bc i edited this to reflect some changes in my headcanons :3

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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topaziraphale · 4 years

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so fucking tired of people defending queer baiting in this fandom. like hello the TV show literally is. but people hiding behind “progressivism” say that it’s fine the way it is. a relationship is never explicitly shown and it is teased so the network gets the best of both worlds. i.e homophobes and gay ppl being able to consume the same content and be okay with it. with homophobes, you can claim they are “just friends” but gay people always have to delve deep into subtext to get an ounce of rep

I have mixed feelings about this. I am a person that is very picky and hyper-critical of the media I choose to consume. I went into this show expecting queerbait, and I lowered my standards substantially. I expected nothing but teasing and the characters being very coy with each other and absolutely no deliverance on their relationship. I watched it for the interesting apocalypse story, and for the first couple episodes, found myself groaning and thinking “here we go” the moment they started to interact with each other in a lovey-dovey way. I’ve been queerbaited before. I’ve had my heart broken time and time again looking for at least decent rep in shows. I can always call it, and know it when I see it. When I finished that last episode, I somehow wasn’t left disappointed like previous times. I was happy, but also confused. That’s not a good thing either. For the first time ever, I actually had to ask myself “Did I get baited?”

At the time, I figured “If I even have to ask that question, then the answer is yes, I was baited.”

Then I gave it some thought, particularly as to why I felt so confused in the first place. The rest of this is under a cut.

I realized that Aziraphale and Crowley met all the qualifications for not being queerbait except for having an explicit declaration of love - an “I love you,” or a kiss, or even a hand hold. Then I realized, wait, if they were a man and a woman, no one would doubt that they love each other for even a second. There wouldn’t be an inkling. Not after everything these characters went through, and how they interact in that last scene of the show, where they say To The World.

The way Aziraphale and Crowley interact with each other is romantic in a way, and it’s hard to deny. Find your closest yet entirely platonic best friend, and say some of the things Aziraphale and Crowley said to each other in the way that they did, and it’ll definitely feel like you’re trying to go for something other than a platonic friendship. I’ve seen homophobes argue that they’re not a couple, that they’re just friends. And I’ve seen homophobes turn their noses up in disgust at this show because they noticed the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. I’ve seen queer people across the spectrum - not just cis gay men - feel so represented and estatic at this show and how Aziraphale and Crowley are portrayed. And I’ve seen queer people angry and frusturated that there was queerbait.

It all comes down to if you think everything they went through, and said to each other, etc, was not romantic in the slightest. If you can watch all 6 hours of the series and not even pick up an inkling that they care for each other in a way that is loving, because there is not a kiss at the end, that’s on you as the viewer. I always ask myself this: if straight couples can be represented like this, why not queer couples? Why can’t a queer couple have a romance that’s portrayed in a different way through their actions and words toward each other? Straight romances have those everywhere. Homophobes will see two men or women in real life kiss each other, say “I love you” to each other, and live together, and still think that they’re not actually in love, that they’re just friends going through a phase - of course they’ll be just as inclined to argue the same thing in a show that does things differently.

I think we see them get their happily ever after at the end there. A lot of people have noticed it. This show has an entire reputation around them loving each other. I have told my cishet acquaintances about this show, and have seen them squirm to change or ignore the topic, in a manner because I can only assume they think of it as the “gay angel demon show,” because that’s what it’s literally known as, and they don’t wanna watch a show that’s predominately what they think is “gay.” The way I see it, if so many people think it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, well, then, you know the rest. And that isn’t about “headcanon,” that’s about the actual dialogue and actions and other things we see visibly on screen.

For those that can’t see it, idk what else to say other than maybe take a step back and see how this challenges some predispositioned views on how one can view romance in a television series, specifically between two queer characters that don’t fit the conventional “cis gay men/women who kiss at the end.” The book confirms that they’re genderless beings. Fans have called this show a good slate to see different kinds of queer rep - ace people feel explicitly represented by them, bi/pan people feel represented, nonbinary people feel especially represented. There’s a reason for that. Hell, I’m trans and had to work through my own internalized transphobia to understand why so many trans folks enjoy this rep, even if there’s nothing in the show to explicitly tip us off that they’re genderless. I, a queer person, had to sit back and take a deep dive into my own understanding of what is “queer enough” to be called rep in a show where the characters aren’t exactly allosexual cis gay men, like most queer rep is these days. Let it be a lesson.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #derpy answers #anonymous #long post #queerbait

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nonbinaryresource · 4 years

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ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities. A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

#mod pluto #validation #exorsexism #gatekeeping #exclusionism #long post #identity policing #self care #identity #coping #queer #lgbt #mod tera #anonymous #ask #answered #asked #nonbinary

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izzyliker · 4 years

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i think like.... some of this ‘fanfic isnt above criticism’ discourse fundamentally is built on some weird ideas and understandings of criticism, creative freedom, and variance in ppl reading the exact same thing.

like: just because you dont like a specific thing about someones writing doesnt mean its objectively, concretely wrong, bad, or inappropriate. nobodys going to kill you or jail you or whatever for leaving a mean or unnecessarily blunt comment on someones fic, but it is kind of sad/funny to see people talk shit about writers for ‘not taking criticism’ as if their opinion is objective truth and not just.....their opinion.

like: i have had people tell me my writing is too abstract, or it doesnt make any sense, or that i use too many metaphors or whatever. thats their opinion! i have also had people say that me writing the way i do is dreamy/mesmerizing/whatever nice, sweet things they had to say about it. as a hobbyist writer and someone who ENJOYS writing that way i am not going to change it because someone didnt like it, and people being mad about that is... kind of funny to me? just dont read my fic then! i write six line long sentences and use five em dashes in a single paragraph because i like doing it. if you dont like reading that you dont have to read it!

there’s... of course room for gently calling people out for writing in -phobic and -ist stuff while obviously having no idea that it was -ist or -phobic (eg. having characters misgender a trans character and not warning in the tags, or referring to a trans character as their deadname and using the wrong pronouns until they transition [’x was a girl blah blah she liked blah blah then she suddenly realized shes a boy wow anyway now im getting to the actual story after misgendering my character for no reason. them being trans never comes up again’], or writing deeply bigoted stuff or otherwise inserting unfortunate tropes in writing) and im not going to say that it’s ~bullying~ someone to let someone know that it seems like their writing reflects their own, genuine bigoted beliefs or misconceptions, and a lot of time people will be mortified and thankful to hear that (and when they aren’t theyre usually either openly bigoted, or theyve had other people tell them otherwise and chosen to believe those people instead, which you can feel however you want about).

like: ive left a strongly worded comment on a fic before because it turned out to be completely untagged for the rape depicted in it (as in: no archive warnings apply - not even chose not to warn), and featured a twoc ‘’’’’’having sex with’’’’’’’ a trans guy, where the author was a white cis person who did not see anything wrong with the lack of tagging OR the damaging tropes used with zero self awareness. i dont think you can NEVER say ‘im trans/gay/bi/ace/a person of color/a person of this ethnicity and you don’t seem to be - did anyone beta read this, because you have depicted the character with my marginalized trait in a very stereotypical way, and idk if thats on purpose or not’ or anything similar. sometimes people who are racist or homophobic or biphobic or transphobic also write fic. sometimes a fic makes your spider senses tingle because of the way something bad is depicted in it.

but like and especially re darkfic -

when people say ‘you need to take criticism when people say your fic glorifies bad relationships’ i think... what people fail to take into account is that although sometimes people do in fact write narratives where they do not even realize theyre writing a shitty relationship (this is often made obvious by a complete lack of tagging or a flippant attitude about the actions of the characters rather than anything that happens in the work itself) sometimes when you read a fic and think ‘this obviously says that this relationship is good! and that you should read this and think the relationship is good!’ it’s not actually an objective, true criticism that the author needs to... idk...rectify? reflection is always good for yknow becoming a better writer and looking at possible issues re: how you see relationships or certain people or whatever (this isnt just writers or artists btw, this is also you as the reader or the consumer or the person, existing in the world), but sometimes it’s just a fic that either was triggering for you, or that didn’t fill the specific narrative need you had.

again: i have written unhealthy relationships. i like writing codependence, and relationships with bad boundaries, and relationships where people are in denial about how their relationship makes them feel. i have, ON THE SAME FICS, had people say they thought it was validating; or cathartic; or respectful; or realistic and kind and compassionate portrayal of those relationship AND other people say they were uncomfortable; that they thought the narrative not using the word abuse meant it wasnt meant to be abuse (despite the ‘unhealthy relationships’ tag); that they thought it was disrespectful to write two characters they liked in an unhealthy relationship. and theyre all allowed to have those opinions! sometimes someone’s writing just doesn’t spark joy. but just because you didn’t like a fic doesn’t mean the writer has failed. when a fic writer has multiple people say ‘i liked this; this felt real; it felt compassionate and respectful and i will come back and read it again’ and one person say ‘i think this is bad’ i don’t think its... evil of the writer to say ‘yknow, im sorry you didn’t like this fic, you might want to read x fic where the story has a happier ending instead,’ and not change or delete or otherwise do anything to that fic.

i dont know guys like... again, just because you didn't like something doesnt mean theres something intrinsically wrong with it. and a loooooot of posts here conflate ‘this person wrote a fic that uncritically used a bunch of tropes the author did not tag for and thus was not even aware of having used and i have left a comment saying that the implications of that are kinda fucked’ with ‘this person wrote a fic about an abusive relationship/sexual assault/whatever and it wasn’t written the way i want those topics to be written about, and i have left them a comment saying that they need to kill themselves for it.’

#man....like......i have seen the fucked up shit on ao3. i truly have witnessed Some Shit. ive opened a fic and immediately backclicked #bc the way it depicted sensitive topics was just very callous and had an air of complete lack of research having gone into it #i have also read fic that i recognized was useful for other people probably but that was intensively triggering to me for no specific reason #sometimes things are handled in ways that arent necessarily...objectively bad. they just dont work for everyone #i rarely want to read any kind of 'this person is in a bad relationship and someone talks them out of it and then theyre happy' kinda stuff #my catharsis comes from the uncertainty of the ending and the emotional parts of the active relationship #theres like.....irl reasons for that. but people also dont need to have any specific tragic backstory to enjoy certain narratives more than #others. idk yall. whatever #long post #disk horse #rape ment

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renardsilencieux · 4 years

Text

my life in 1129 words.

TW : acephobia, arophobia, drug use, anorexia, the process of queer self-identification and its hardship

Sexual and romantic attraction is weird.

You grow up for 20-ish years thinking that love is only between a man and a woman, that they create an entity and boom, that’s what your life is supposed to be like. I’m making an exaggeration out of it, but basically, this is what a majority of the population has been told.

I didn’t really have blinders that big, I was told about gay cismen when younger because one of my cousin was gay.

To really be honest, I started to question myself when I was around 15-16 years old. It was the start of high school and I had been talking to this girl for a really long time. We were living almost 700 kilometers away from each other but she was saving my life. I don’t know if I ever had a crush on her, but she had one on me, and at that time, it was something I needed. It was a really toxic relationship but, to be honest, I only ever had toxic relationships in my life so far.

I kissed someone for the first time, weeks before turning 23. Its not something I talk about openly to people, because,,, society expectations you know?

It was under influence, so that really is the number one reason I must have done it. But it was really great. Since then, I sometimes get the envy of wanting to kiss someone. When the kissing happened, it was nice but like,,,,, weird? I was into it but I didn’t wanna go further than that. The girl did want it, she told me, but she also knew I’m ace. So she didn’t push it, and it might also be the reason why I let it happen. Because I knew I was safe.

I identify as aromantic and asexual since around January 2019. This is also the time I got to know that this kind of sexual and romantic attraction/sexuality existed. Before I used to identity myself as a bi ciswoman, but without any sexual/romantic attraction. I just knew gender didn’t matter to me and I could date anyone, regardless of what they identify as and what was between their legs (i was 15, alright).

Knowing about the A part of the LGBTQIA+ changed my life. I had a breakdown for about a month, questioned myself pretty hard, thought I needed some help (therapy/meds) and even thought of fucking everything up. It was a really hard time. Looking back at it, I don’t really remember much of it, except the pain of it all. I cried a lot, I fell back into my anorexia habits, my self-confidence was nearing the -79920, I was living alone and cutting myself from the world. Anyway.

I don’t really remember when I started to think « I’m ace. And I might also be aro ». Its all very blurred but I know that I first came out in march 2019. First to my queer group of friends, and then to my closest friends by a text (worst thing ever, don’t recommend). Its still a bit hard with them, they accept it while not understanding it. Its always a bit weird, more so when im talking to others people in a « flirty » way. I’m confusing my friends a lot. Anyway. That’s a « I need attention but don’t like when ppl are too close to me so I push them back but I need to find someone new to like me so they can give me attention again » problem for myself.

I wrote this long ass text to my friends so I could put my thoughts in words. About how I never find people sexually attractive, how I never wanted to be in a relationship, how I forced myself to go on dates, how sex involving another person repulses me, how I have never wanted anything that society was telling me I wanted/needed. This was the turning point. I realized I have never wanted anything that was on ads, in tv shows and movies, that my friends/relatives were living.

When this realization come, and no one around you has ever talked to you about it, you question yourself. Or, at least, that’s what happened to me. Hence the breakdown part. Searching about it online, talking to some people, helped me. I can’t say I’m 100% ok with myself being aro-ace, but im starting to talk about it to other people. I’m not embracing it, how could I when I’m still hating myself for being that way?

Realizing that I was not heterosexual might have been easier. Coming out as bi also. Because it was becoming more normal at that time(what is normal, what normality are we talking about blabla). It was easier for me. I came out to my parents when I was in my senior high school year. They kinda knew it already, they just thought I was lesbian. Looking back at it makes me smile. So far, they’ve really been accepting of me not fitting into the heteronormative bullshit. I’ve also been dropping some clues about me not being interested in relationships. They don’t understand it, like 95% of my people that are close and dear to me, but they understand that this is me. And they don’t push it.

I’m really lucky. I notice it by writing this long paper. I always had people loving me for who I was, am, even when they can’t really understand and get me. They support me, they push me to be better, at recognizing my mistakes, my flaws but also my qualities.

I know that I can never truly come out to my parents. I already know what they would tell me, and that would just be hurtful. I’ve found other ways to feel accepted : friends, social media, myself. Loving you for who you are is not easy everyday. But just trying can be enough sometimes.

I am aromantic and arosexual. I don’t ever want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, this doesn’t interest me. I am a sex-repulsed ace ciswoman. I like to cuddle, touch and play with peoples’ neck and knees. I don’t want to see someone private parts in a sex way. I don’t want to touch someone’s sex just like I don’t want them to touch mine.

This might change. Gender, sexual and romantic attraction are on a spectrum. I never thought I would like to kiss someone. But a year and 2 months after identifying myself as ace, here I was.

Being queer is weird. Acknowledging it changed and saved my life.

#my coming out story #lots of trigger warning #read with caution #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #bisexual #asexuality #queer #pride month #happy pride

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mincerafter · 5 years

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how did u realize u were a lesbian also do u have a gf

Well for a while I thought I was ace bc I had absolutely no interest in men (and was also kinda disgusted at the prospect ngl) and Obviously men were the Only Possible Option. So I kinda sorta ID'd as ace for a while until I met a friend who was openly gay and I was like.... woah being gay is an option? It's not just for other ppl? Then I realize hey actually I'm not disgusted by the idea of bein w a girl..... wait actually bein w a girl sounds like heaven. I still played around w IDing as bi or queer before I realized bro that's just ur internalized heteronormativity talking u don't like men, then I finally landed on lesbian even tho it seemed kind scary at first. And I don't have a gf sadly😔 but someday !

#asks #anon #not minecraft #its been a ride!!#so yeah my lesbian awakening was just me realizing being gay was something i was allowed to be

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arodrwho · 5 years

Text

mm on the one hand i’m rly happy abt the critrole pride shirt, it’s rly great & i’m glad they included so many flags & are donating this month’s proceeds from it & stuff, that’s awesome, but on the other hand

my first thought when i read the tweet before i saw the image was “i bet the aro flag won’t be on there”

and lo & behold: the aro flag was not on there

which is fine! it wasn’t the only one not on there, & i realize it is completely infeasible to include every single flag bc there are Just Too Many

but i can’t help but be a little tiny bit bitter that the ace flag was on there and not the aro one. and like. i’m ace so it’s not that i’m bitter bc i hate aces. it’s just like. ppl seem to think including the ace flag inherently means aros are also included, and we’re not, bc we aren’t all ace. ace =/= aro. alloaros & nonsam aros have been forgotten again. aroaces who prioritize the aro part of their identity (like me! hi!) have also been forgotten again

and y’know, i get it, it happens, it’s chill

but it feels--and i am very aware that this only my very biased perception & likely not objective reality--as though aromanticism was either a) not something the critrole team was aware of at all, b) not something they considered distinct enough from asexuality to merit including, or c) not something they considered common or important enough to merit including

and i am aware that it is almost certainly not the “common” part of point C, and definitely not the “important” part of it, so that option can be crossed out, leaving points A & B

and even if point A--the most harmless--is the case, or if neither A nor B is the case & it was just bad luck that aros ended up one of the identities there just wasn’t room for, it’s still like. a bummer? bc aros are very nearly always left out, whether accidentally due to lack of visibility, or as happenstance bc ppl forget (related to lack of visibility), or as happenstance bc there’s limited room & that’s jus how the cookie crumbles

and if it turns out to be point B, like is always my first concern, then that’s a super bummer, bc that also happens a lot. & also even aside from it happening a lot--and i don’t mean to sound rude or like i wish others hadn’t been included bc that is super 100% not the case, i’m v happy there were so many identities included--there’s also the fact that the shirt includes flags for several other identities that often overlap but don’t always

there’s a lot of bi/pan overlap, but they’re still (rightfully) considered distinct enough to each be included. the gay flag includes lesbians, but they’re still (rightfully) considered distinct enough to each be included. there’s a lot of nonbinary/genderqueer/agender overlap, but they’re all still (rightfully) considered distinct enough to each be included--and that’s even apart from the fact that the white stripe of the trans flag could technically have covered all three of those identities. because, of course, the distinction and specific representation matters & means a lot to a lot of people. and that is 100% absolutely fair and the fact that this was taken into consideration is good & right & as it should be

it just--makes it a little bit more upsetting that aros were missed out, bc yes, there is overlap in the form of aroaces, this is very true! but it’s not the same kind of overlap. it’s--with lots of other flags, the same base experiences are described by multiple flags, with different ones showing different subsets of that base experience, both because those subsets can differ wildly and because the distinction is important to people. the complaint is super not that these subsets are acknowledged and included. the complaint is that aromanticism and asexuality are not subsets of the same base experience--and i say this as an aroace. people tend to think they are--that “lack of attraction” is the same base experience in the end--but the kinds of attraction lacked are very different and that makes for fundamentally very different experiences at the base level, so that they are not subsets of the same base experience but rather...cousins, kind of? to borrow some nd terminology

so while the gay flag can include lesbians and the trans flag can include all manner of nonbinary folk and the bi flag can include pan people and etc. etc. etc., the ace flag cannot include aro people. that’s not to say that all lesbians id w/the gay flag or all nb people id w/the trans flag or all pan ppl id w/the bi flag, bc obviously this is not the case. but, theoretically, they could, bc there is room for them, even if they have personal reasons for not doing so (which it goes w/out saying is ofc valid as hell). and, untheoretically, for this reason, many ppl do id w/flags other than their most specific identity ones. but many aros literally can’t id w/the ace flag bc it doesn’t have that kind of room for them. it doesn’t have room for them at all. their experiences are fundamentally different. a heterosexual aro wouldn’t be represented by the ace flag in the same way that a straight trans woman wouldn’t be represented by the lesbian flag. the experiences just aren’t compatible

and all of this rambling is of course largely irrelevant to the whole critrole shirt thing, i’m not up in arms about that specifically, i’m glad it exists, it’s great, i don’t think there was intentional or unintentional malice i think it most likely just sort of turned out this way. post begins w/the shirt bc i started thinking abt it today on seeing the shirt, bc it was the latest in a long line of things that (intentionally or not) excluded aros, and also reminded me of some posts i’ve been seeing lately abt folks using “aspec” in posts that talk solely about aces (which i’ve seen happen a lot), as though aces & aros are The Same or Close Enough or Intrinsically Interrelated, when this is of course... not the case. but ppl don’t seem to realize it, so they keep doing the thing, which only perpetuates the problem bc people see “aspec” used to refer solely to aces and think it only means aces & so they use it to refer to solely aces and so etc. etc. etc., thus further conflating aces & aros intentionally or unintentionally into infinity

in conclusion it’s not about the critrole shirt at all i’m just very tired

#daypost #i could go back & take out the references to the shirt since it's not about the shirt but as i said. i'm very tired #& i can't be bothered #in conclusion please remember aros i guess

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canallynwrite · 5 years

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I bring asks: 2, 4, 7, 12, 13, 17, 26, 29, 30

thank you!

2 - HOW DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR SEXUALITY? TELL YOUR STORY.

for context: i’m biromantic asexual!

i was one of those kids who didn’t even know that it was actually possible to like girls as well as guys, so i only really discovered the lgbt+ community after i entered middle school and got access to the internet. the first time i actually thought about being anything other than straight was when my friend came out to me as bisexual. now, my first (or second, whatever) thought was: “does she like me?”

and nobody wants to be the person who thinks their not-straight friend of the same gender is into them just bc said not-straight friend came out to them, so after doing some research i did some self-reflection and realized my actual feelings were more akin to something like: “i hope she likes me.”

for the rest of the year i tried to convince myself that she was the exception to my straightness and was definitely not crushing hard on her. then at the end of the year i started dating someone who, after we dated for a week or so, came out as a trans dude, and i sort of just accepted my bisexuality. the last bit probably doesn’t make sense, but he was in the middle of figuring out his gender, so for a while he identified as a gal and that was when i first really acknowledged that yes, i am indeed very not straight. him coming out as trans just hammered my bi-ness. looking back on it, there were many signs that i was not straight at all. i just had zero language for my feelings!

my asexuality was just always there, tbh. i found out about asexuality after i accepted my bi-ness so as soon as i learned what it meant i just went ‘yah, that’s me. i’m ace.’

4 - WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON YOU TOLD? HOW DID THEY REACT?

uhhh, apart from the dude i was dating, probably the aforementioned friend who’d come out to me as bi. she was really happy for me and we celebrated my first coming out experience together!

7 - WHAT IS ONE QUESTION YOU HATE BEING ASKED ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY?

i try not to get mad at ppl asking questions, bc i know that it is Quite Possible to not know much about sexuality (for the longest time i didn’t know ANYTHING) but biphobic and acephobic questions in general really get my goat. yes, asexuality is a thing that exists; no, i’m not going to cheat on my partner just bc i’m bi.

12 - WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU’VE HEARD SAID ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY?

tbh, any time a straight person starts talking about the lgbt+ community like they know everything about it and are Great Allies i have to roll my eyes. jordan, you’re straight as uncooked spaghetti and cisgender, please stop pretending your opinions have any authority here just bc you read a few articles on gender/sexual fluidity and have a gay friend or two.

but, on a more well-known note, the stupidest thing i’ve heard would definitely have to be anything that those assholes who claim that the lgbt+ community includes pedophiles have ever said. that idea is both stupid and enraging.

13 - WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE?

i’ve seen lgbt+ people say a lot of stupid shit, even against other sexualities (especially against asexuality), but as a whole the lgbt+ community is extremely accepting and seems to have so many little niche corners for every possible interest or hobby. like, u want lgbt+ writers??? u got it, pal. a group lgbt+ athletes??? u may have to look a little harder than for the lgbt+ writers but damn, they’re there! blogs about lgbt+ animals in nature??? yes, that does exist!

it’s such a large community, filled with so many different types of people, which is what i love about it!

17 - HAVE YOU BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP? IF SO, HOW DID YOU MEET?

i’ve been in two! and am currently in,,,, something? it’s a little complicated. we both know we like each other (and i wish we were dating!) but we haven’t “””officially””” decided to go out.

the other two were a) some dude i broke up with after two days lmao; we won’t talk about him, and b) the dude i talked about earlier! we met on a roleplaying forum for ppl in our area when we were younger and really hit it off. i asked him out two or three months after we met, and we were together for about six months before going off ‘n on. we “””officially””” broke up after a year or so bc he needed some time to himself for his mental health.

26 - WHAT IDENTITY ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?

well, for pre-middle-school me i’d sit her down and give her an hour long lecture on the lgbt+ community and recommend her some books w/ lgbt+ characters. she doesn’t know that being bi is possible so i’d also pull up an irl bi person as an example. for questioning!me, i think i’d just advise her not too push to hard against the idea of being bi. if you continue to like girls (and you will) then that’s okay and not something to tear yourself up about.

29 - WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT BEING LGBT+?

a) we are, in fact, a very wide spectrum of individuals, and stereotyping irl people does not help anything. being interested in women does not make me super butch; it makes me, me.

b) being lgbt+ is most certainly not all peaches and if you act like it is then you are Very Wrong Indeed, my friend. tbh, i don’t have much for this point besides complaining about that one straight person who called themselves an ally but still tried to police who i came out to and implied that if i wasn’t okay with having my sexuality shouted out to the world in the middle of a crowded cafeteria then i must be repressing myself. so, yeah, don’t be like that person, kids.

30 - WHY ARE YOU PROUD TO BE LGBT+?

how persistent lgbt+ people - of the past and present - are. throughout every age and every culture, no matter if lgbt+ ppl are oppressed or accepted, you will find lgbt+ people. some are harder to find, because of hate towards people like them, but look hard enough and you will find them. even when lgbt+ people were persecuted, they were there. even in places where they could still be put to death today, they’re there, and they’re fighting.

the pink triangle was what nazis marked gay men with in concentration camps, but lgbt+ people, most notably the AIDS movement, have reclaimed it, taken it back and turned it into a positive symbol for lgbt+ people.

and that is why i’m proud to be lgbt+. to stand with these people is an absolute honor.

#lgbt+#biromantic asexual #queer-coding #the pink triangle #pride month #ask me stuff!#asks #alessia-writes #tw: queer #my thoughts #yikes i wrote a lot #lgbt+ pride #well #have fun reading!#lgbt+ asks

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chrliekclly · 6 years

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do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress.

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

#chardee #charlie kelly #dee reynolds #maybe this is sort of #meta #ramblings #headcanon #rape ment #im so sorry this was not wat u askd for flnsjkfgh #anon #ask

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bifaq · 7 years

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I'm 23 but i just realized i might be bi-romantic? i’d always assumed i was on the ace spectrum+ maybe demi-romantic. Since middle school i’ve had dreams with girls but ignored them as dreams. My brother is gay, if i turned out bi my parents would die. I feel I should have known earlier, i’m in my freaking twenties! I’m thinking about it because i have a bf who wants to be more physical and I don't. i had another dream and they aren’t explicit just romantic but really nice. Idk what to think

well firstly i’m really sorry and sad to hear that ur parents would respond so negatively if you came out as bi or anything really. that’s a big pooper and i hope u are able to have some kind of support circle in your life somewhere ;_;

also when it comes to discovering ur identity, it can happen at any age really. like, i discovered i’m actually asexual myself about two years ago and that is also when i realized i’m nonbinary and started exploring my gender identity.

i’m 28 now and i am confidently, comfortably biromantic, asexual, nonbinary person. i grew up like up till 13 not really knowing a thing about any sexuality at all. my first exposure to the concept of sexual orientation was unintentionally thru nsfw content with friends and then seeing their disdain for wlw type stuff.

i went along with it bc hey i didn’t know any better and i really didn’t have the resources to understand what any of this non-straight identities really meant. andi was too afraid to stand out even MORE from my crappy friend group so i hid a lot of my gay feelings till high school.

during high school i realized i was bi and came out a little bit my freshman yr but fully during sophmore yr. like it was literally just fuckin bi gals left and right in my friend group and i was lucky for the most part to be able to have a decent support system there for me which allowed me to like SHED the BURDEN of heteronormativity and EMBRACE the GAY within my HEART. lmao

so from 9th grade where i was 14ish till about 25 i thought i was bisexual - there’s a LOT of negative stuff i’m not going to cover but suffice to say starting therapy helped me realize that my experience with sexuality wasn’t in line totally with being a bisexual - i was much more aligned with the label biromantic and it took me quite a while but eventually i was able to accept that i’m asexual as well as be able to have the people around me understand my limitations in regards to sexual content and set new boundaries i hadn’t before.

basically there i’m just saying that discovering your identity isn’t always something that happens when ur rly young and it’s not something that necessarily has to stay the same. life changes ya! and it’s okay if ur identity fluxes with it as well.

as for ur bf, i think once u could come to a space where u feel like u have identified if u are indeed on the ace-spectrum, then talk with him and rly express to him that certain things are not things u are interested in. it’s a scary conversation, trust me i KNOW, but it’s rly important for ur ace-spectrum identity (if you decide you fall there) is respected first and foremost. otherwise the relationship will eventually just fall apart on its own and it could leave u with rly bad stuff to deal with later on. i wouldn’t wish that on anyone tbh

so in summary:

identity is something that doesn’t have a specific time set for it to be discovered

it can also change over the years from a different thing than u originally identified as! the more resources u are able to find, the better identity labels and such u could relate to bc u are accessing more knowledge than u were previously able to!

identity changing over time doesn’t invalidate any part of u. u are a person and ppl are prone to change.

i am still very sry u would not have support at home when it comes to ur identity; i would ask if u could find some other support systems to help u even if it’s just ppl u know online. basically all my support is majority via my online friends - the value is immeasurable even tho we are all far apart

if u end up IDing on the ace-spectrum, one thing i’d recommend is just doin some browsing and reading up on either other ppl’s experiences or just base facts about the identity that suits u. i found SO much relief when i was able to see the wide range of just BEING that is within the ace-spectrum and it helped me validate my identity to myself

then, it would be recommended to have a good talk with ur bf to basically lay out ur boundaries and see what he is able to work with.

i know the concept of a break up bc ur needs and his needs are different is stressful and scary, and i know it’s easy for me to say that it’s better to leave a person if they desire things u aren’t/won’t/can’t give but pls know in the long run, u will be making the best choice for urself bc ur needs as an ace-spectrum person are of UTMOST importance.

just know that u aren’t alone at all and there’s a huge community for u if u ever need

-mod peach

#anonymous #identity #ace spectrum #biromantic #questioning #long post #sorry i have a LOT of feelings about us ace ppl i love us so much sob

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july-19th-club · 7 years

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22 24 28 29 41 49 and 50, for any character(s) of your choosing! ^^

SUUUPER late answering this (i think u sent it last night? idk i was asleep lol) ANYWAY. this is for the character ask game, so I’ll do the core four~

22. What are their favorite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Adra: A big believer in rude gestures, both traditional and specific to sign language, but too easygoing to insult someone to their face.

Judi: WOULD insult all of her coworkers daily, but needs to keep the peace. Insults everybody inside the comfort of her own head instead. Rarely swears in public. Cusses up a storm at home.

Irine: ‘vă sĕlă’ is Musŏn for ‘go fuck yourself’.

Varas: Even ruder than Irine; needs to get out of the habit of bringing peoples’ mothers into it.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Do you know I have never once bothered to think about this? jesus let’s do this

Adra: Doesn’t realize he’s a snorer for YEARS because he lives with his sister, who’s Deaf, and he still doesn’t actually believe he snores *that* much. Likes a comfy mattress, but his understanding of comfy is a rich person’s Painfully Scratchy, so it only amounts to average. Nightmare City; needs somebody to talk to pretty frequently.

Judi: The rich person for whom Adra’s ‘comfy’ is a joke. Likes her feather pillows & luxurious blankets & shit. Sleeps soundly but not for very long, bc she’s busy all the time. Morning Person.

Irine: Not a morning person, forced to be one by circumstance. Probably doesn’t snore, but even if she did, nobody would actually tell her.

Varas: Believer in the power of naps. Occasional clairvoyant dreams mean that he doesn’t actually always get the amount of rest he appears to be getting (those things take it outta you), so constantly looking for a place to sleep.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Adra: Oh Boy is he afraid of Shit. He has good reason to be. Maybe his biggest fear is that he’ll never get back home, or that when he does, he won’t have his life back. He worries about his family and his home a lot, but when he’s scared/upset he tends to withdraw, so it might come off like he’s just being grumpy. He’s sad. You should hold him.

Judi: Scared that even after years of preparation, she’s still not cut out for her job and may actually be bad at it. Scared that she’s too eager to use violence to solve problems (even though she’s only done it once, and it was necessary, the fact that she was ready and willing spooks her). Talks her fears out because she’s Mature and also because she can’t be left alone with her thoughts.

Irine: Not afraid of much, but worries that she’s gotten off track with her life. She’s had a single specific plan forever, and deliberately derails it to do something else, so out of the blue it will sometimes scare her a lot.

Varas: Scared that somebody will find out about his *~~~magic powers~~~*. Scared that somebody will hurt his loved ones (like, even more than they’ve already been). Scared he’ll never see certain ppl again. Scared that he’s actually a total turd human. Scared scared scared this guy is afraid of a lot in life. You should also hold him, but probably he will try to deflect you with humor.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Adra: Lives in the ‘boy-I-feel-you’ camp, so if he finds out that you’re scared of something, he will sit with you in solidarity.

Judi: Will try to talk you through it and help you feel good/better, even if she’s bad at doing that for herself. Usually it works, because she’s damn reassuring.

Irine: Will try to distract the fearer with other things, but if it’s not a distraction type situation, will get protective 10/10 get u a girl like that.

Varas: Miiiiight…….not..actually notice other people’s fears as much as his own? It’s a flaw he’s working on it. It’s not that he’s being selfish, he just assumes everybody’s scared of the same things (the ones he’s scared of).

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Adra: Adra is Irinesexual. Okay, he’s the token straight boy, but he’s more steve-trevor-straight-boy than mon-el-straight-boy. Kinda sits and pines from a distance and maybe works up the courage to tell the girl he likes what he likes about her once in a while, but always in a way so that if she wants she can misconstrue it as him just being a good friend. A shy guy. Needs somebody to settle down with, and definitely wants to just have a house and a family someday like his sister and parents before him.

Judi: Bi with a preference; has had one husband years ago who unfortunately died, which is very upsetting bc they were deeply in love. Currently in a new relationship with a really nice guy, but *still* not quite ready to move on.

Irine: Realizing as she becomes an adult that she’s never really been interested in anybody romantically. Probably on the ace spectrum, but fine with sexual activity. Knows Adra likes her and is 100% cool with it, but hasn’t brought it up because she’s worried she doesn’t *like him back enough* or whatever. (IMO, they may very well end up in a relationship, if he likes her and she likes that he likes her, and he can be respectful of her reservations, they might do really well together). BUT her partner would need to be somebody willing to to explore the world with her, and Adra might not be that person.

Varas: That Guy is Bi. That guy was in a happy, successful poly relationship way back in the day, but hasn’t seen either of them since Some Shit Went Down due to his being an unwilling spy for the gov’t and his home life getting caught in the crosshairs. But don’t worry, y’all, it’s endgame.

Now I’m a little upset that I’m only doing the core four, because weirdly, none of them have the major romantic arcs. The three other narrators that haven’t been introduced yet are the big hitters in that department, and two of them are sapphic, so. Things progressively get gayer and this book hardly has any romance at all in the slightest; all the ships are in the future lmao.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Adra: He’s really sentimental, but due to being an army deserter, he doesn’t have any special possessions with him rn. He does end up getting really attached to his uniform tunic, not bc he likes the associations, but because it is this comfortingly familiar object.

Judi: She has a kickass sword and she’s real proud of it. Once she chopped a man’s head off. It was amazing.

Irine: Has this blue scarf she’s owned since back when her moms were alive that has sentimental value, so she wears it even tho it’s getting to be threadbare.

Varas: Technically, he’s a spy, so yeah, he travels anonymously and keeps the personal effects to an untraceable amount of genericness. His most valuable thing is his power, anyway.

and 50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

This is a great question because this actually basically happens in the book.

Adra: The clothes on his back and nothing else; he has literally no bag. He’s…not great at disaster planning and also doesn’t own much shit.

Judi: Practical clothes (one set? whyyyyy). Her late husband’s journals or important documents. Her Sword™. Good boots. Food. Toiletries. She’d pack it all up to take with her & leave on her horse, probably, bc he himself is super valuable, being a survivor of a really bad horse plague. His name’s King. In case you were wondering. You weren’t.

Irine: Change of clothes, extra scarf, small knife, provisions (nonperishable food). Maps/reading material if she thinks she’ll have the time for entertainment. Cloak, blanket, example of her work (she’s a weaver) if it looks like she’ll have to earn some money. Money. Tack. A horse or mule.

Varas: Clothes, food, money. Pertinent documents. Weapon. That’s it.

WHOOOO there we go thank you!!!!!

#long post #ask games #WOW!

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youngblossom · 7 years

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Thanks for answering my question on romantic relationship :) I'm kinda happy that I'm not alone on not knowing hahah It's too much of an abstract and subjective concept! I can't seem figure out a label that fits me yet. I am in a romantic relationship, tho I enjoy (moderate) romantic expression (kissing, holding hands, whatnot) with this particular person (it makes her happy, thus makes me happy), I don't actively desire to be in one. Maybe some sort of demiromanticism, idk yet. (1) -R

A bit of venting now, I must say that for a while I sent a lot of questions here and constantly checked your social media. I'm so sorry if this creeps you out, but I finally made sense of it and I felt that I should "come clean" (I sound like a stalker lol not that bad). You and Alex J. helped me figure out so much about myself. (2) -RI'm 23 yo this year and things just started to click. You introduced me to ace/aro spectrums, both of you helped me get rid of my internalized transphobia and even realize that I might be trans. The sad part I'm still coming to terms with is that at the moment, even tho dysphoria kicks my ass a lot of the time, I might never come out or transition. I live in the western country with the highest murder rate for trans ppl, had a horrible experience coming out as a lesbian/bi to my parents (3) -RAnd tho I believe my gf (now fiancée!) would be fine with it, a transition rn could strain our relationship beyond what we can handle. She lives in the US and we see each other only a few times a year, hidden from her family and part of my family. Sometimes I feel like going AWOL, starting a new life and transitioning to a more comfortable me. (4) -RI don't really have someone to talk to about this. For a while I checked on you so much, and only now I realize this borderline stalking is because all of this period of "coming to terms" with my own life made me look up to both of you a lot. You never cease to inspire me. Maybe sometime we'll meet, maybe I'll finally transition, who knows? Well, for now I apologize (for being such a creep 🙈) and thank you, Jonah (& Alex!). I'll be forever grateful that you helped me accept myself! (5) -R

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful and kind message. It means a lot to me that you would take so much time to send me such a lengthy, heartfelt message.

It honestly makes me feel so good that my transition and story as far as sexual/romantic orientation goes, were of some help to you. That’s what I always hope for when I share my experiences-- that it will help someone out there who feels alone in the same feeling.

It breaks my heart to hear your story and know that you may not be able to transition. I understand your circumstances, and I admire your strength. Truth be told, I don’t know if I would’ve made it if I hadn’t been able to transition. Life was really difficult before I transitioned, so I really give you so much credit for dealing with that, knowing you may never see a brighter day. I do truly hope that one day you WILL be able to have the opportunity and a safe environment to transition and feel more comfortable in yourself. I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be.

I wouldn’t want to try to give you advice for the situation you’re in because I’ve never faced the same issues you’re facing. But what I can say is that life works in very mysterious ways, and some times the things you want/need find their way into your life in the most surprising ways. Don’t lose hope, my friend. You are so strong, and one day you will be able to find peace. I know it in my heart.

Nonetheless, I am so honored that my story gave you some peace with yourself and helped you to accept who you are. You are wonderful, valid, and incredibly strong. I am sending you so so much love.

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