#it's always 'the monk this' or 'the monk that' he only gets called by name if someone is being very formal about it
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hey u know how mk only calls wukong by his title and never his name? and how wukong rarely if ever calls mk "mk," instead usually opting for "kid" or "bud?" and how both of those things are kind of representative of their relationship and how both of them care about each other a lot but they aren't honest with each other or with themselves about the other and how neither of them really wants to confront the fact that the other is a person with flaws and struggles? haha yeah <- normal <- lying about being normal
be glad i have been released from class now :) [narrator: she would later find herself late to her 2nd class while writing this]
so happy you have given me this excuse to talk about— i mean, yes! it is super normal to be thinking about this all the time and be comsumed by it and let me explain why:
i will start by going off on a tangent about names and labels and their narratove importance in stories because i love them and have a problem. (idk the word count here. viewer discretion is advized. i just wrote. it is long. beware)
In the Case of Names: a Sunburst Duo Essay
by Yours Truly <3
In the Case of Names in LMK: a Summary (please for the love of pete be a summary)
Ok, so, let me give y'all a quick overview (i failed. this is you're only warning. i failed, and this became a monster of an essay. run while you still have the chan—) of names in the literary sense. When studying novels and books and shit in your literature classes, you will notice that your professor might discuss the importance or ill-importance of characters' names in the story. For example: in the classic novel Fahrenheit 451, the protagonist's name is fucking Guy Montage to illustrate how he's just some fucking guy, a John Doe, a man stuck and complicit in the dystopian world.
You get me? No? Sorry, you want more examples? Fine then :3 let me introduce you to a story called Hard Times by Charles Dickens. It is an allegorical novel that criticized the utilitarian movement going on in dear old Great Britain in the 19th century thanks to the Industrial Revolution. Some fun characters were Johannes Bounderby and Thomas Gradgrind. Tell me, what images did you imagine when I gave you those names? Did you think of a bouncing ball for Bounderby? Were you imagining something square or maybe a mechanical grinder for Mr. Gradgrind?
Remarkable isn't it. The way choosing a name has on a reader/audience's perception of the character. Names are not just placeholders for a character. Names are the identity of that character. Names can establish their starting arc or their ending. Names can be visual in the sense that they invoke a strong idea of what a character might resemble or what themes they will present the audience with. Removing a character's name also removes their identity.
Remember that.
Anyway, I have talked enough about names in the general literary sense. Let us move on to LMK.
Given that this show is based off of Journey to the West (JTTW), many of the names of the antagonist are already provided, and their English translation is pretty literal (Demon Bull King, Lady Bone Demon, Red Son) with some exceptions (Jing & Yin, the Gold and Silver Demons), but their names all provide a description of what they are and how they should be viewed. Spider Queen is a spider demon and views herself as queen. Pretty solid characterization there. Lady Bone Demon, she's a bone demon and has enough rank to be considered a lady (or that could just be to ID that she is a woman but eh). Princess Iron Fan: she's a celestial princess and wields an iron fan. Got it? Good. These examples are simply here to show that a majority of the JTTW antagonists are still fulfilling their roles as antagonistic characters. What I mean is this: since "A Hero is Born," MK has been fighting against the Monkey King's old enemies from the JTTW book. It's like the moment MK inserted himself into the role of successor, the antagonist themselves were inserted to redo their old role of fighting the "Monkey King." It's almost as if nothing has changed beside the fact that their new op enemy is a "human" wielding the legendary staff.
[hmmmm, wait i actually never put this into words until now and it's fitting very well with the whole "MK's fight against Fate/the Narrative" but we'll just put a pin in that.]
However, when it comes to MK's friends (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Mei), they all share different names from their reincarnated/ancestral counterparts (Zhu Bajie, Tang Sangzang (they just give Tripitaka a last name lol), Sha Wujing, and Ao Lie). Their identity is separate, distinctive from who they are meant to reflect to the audience. (But look at how Tang still shares the same 1st name to the blessed monk, see how he's the one whose powers are the most similar, see how he being pulled into the direction of emulating the monk, see how much Tang fights it, see—)
Fascinating huh? But let us move on before I forget myself.
In the Case of MK's Names: a Paragraph (DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT GO OFF THE RAILS)
So, in the English version, there is a running gag about how MK's "real" name is long and complicated, and we don't actually know it. All we know is that MK switched it long before the pilot. And even before MK has that talk with Master Subodhi in s4ep7 (or 6? 8?), I would chuckle at how on the nose his name was. MK the Monkie Kid... how silly of the show writers....ahaha, what a funny little decision to make :)
Do we know why MK changed his name? Other than his original one being long, no. Do we know why MK specifically? We don't know. Maybe, in his fanboy brain for all things Monkey King, MK thought it would be cool to have a name that identified close to his idol. A name that identified with someone he wished to emulate and be as powerful as and felt so connected to. But what do I know? I am a mere local gal who feeds off of metas and theories and all things relating to my beloved sunburst duo.
Then, we have MK's many titles: Monkie Kid (IDs him as the new generations Monkey), Successor (IDs him as the one who will succeed Sun Wukong in both the title of Monkey King and power), Noodle Boy (pronounced "New-dle Boi and IDs as the boy who works in his surrogate/adopted dad's noodle shop), Delivery Boy (his actual job for the noodle shop), and last but not least, Harbinger of Chaos.
What makes a harbinger? What is chaos? What are their intentions? Are they good? Bad? Neutral?
So, I've already defined harbinger before and many others have as well, but to sum up: a harbinger is a being/person/thing that announced the coming of something be it good or bad but most of the time the focus is bad. A "Harbinger of Chaos" then, would be the one to announce the coming of Chaos™️ and the disruption of world order. Is this a bad thing? Well, the show presents it at the moment as so, but that doesn't mean it will be. Honestly, the show has shown order and fixed structures more in a bad light and promotes free will and choosing a destiny that fits you as the good thing 👀 (another thing to pin in the MK might to go war with Fate)
But now I have established MK's names and must shut up and move on before I no longer can.
In the Case of Sun Wukong's Names: some Paragraphs (STAY ON TARGET PLEASE)
I will admit that my knowledge of names in China is very low, and by low, I mean I know nothing (most of what I do know comes from asking friends and informational sites). So, let me begin this segment with an excerpt of Sun Wukong gaining his name from the book itself :) and break it down with my interpretation and how that is applied to LMK.
When the Patriarch heard this, he was secretly pleased, and said, “Well, evidently you have been created by Heaven and Earth. Get up and show me how you walk.” Snapping erect, the Monkey King scurried around a couple of times. The Patriarch laughed and said, “Though your features are not the most attractive, you do resemble a pignolia-eating monkey (husun). This gives me the idea of taking a surname for you from your appearance. I intended to call you by the name Hu. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what’s left is a compound made up of the two characters, gu and yue. Gu means aged and yue means female, but an aged female cannot reproduce. Therefore, it is better to give you the surname of Sun. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what we have left is the compound of zi and xi. Zi means a boy and xi means a baby, and that name exactly accords with the fundamental Doctrine of the Baby Boy. So your surname will be ‘Sun.’”
When the Monkey King heard this, he was filled with delight. “Splendid! Splendid!” he cried, kowtowing, “At last I know my surname. May the master be even more gracious! Since I have received the surname, let me be given also a personal name..."
..."You will hence be given the religious name ‘Wake-to-the-Void’ (wukong). All right?”
“Splendid! Splendid!” said the Monkey King, laughing. “Henceforth I shall be called Sun Wukong.”
What a fucking cutie <3
So, what can we gather from this excerpt? Sun Wukong just gained his official name. No longer is he a monkey with descriptive titles, no longer is he a monkey without a surname to be referred to as and respected for. He now has both a surname and a personal name. And while I don't fully understand everything Master Subodi listed when naming Sun Wukong, it is important to note the importance of it and how happy Wukong is to receiving it.
Before this, the book would simply refer to Wukong as Shihou (stone monkey) or the Handsome Monkey King. Both of these are descriptive titles that just inform you what Wukong is rather than who, just like with the other demons met in JTTW. But now, we get to know him as Sun Wukong, someone more than his titles and such. There's even an explanation in the preface how Wukong's own personal name has significant meaning or relation to Buddhism, but I won't get too much into that since my knowledge is of that is 0 and I want to try and stick to LMK.
Now then, let us examine Wukong's name in the LMK sense. Literally everyone in the show call him either Monkey King or "simian" (and if he really pissed them off, Sun Wukong). The only people to refer to Wukong by his personal name is Nezha, Macaque, and Peng. It is literally just these three. And while we could argue all say it like "Wukong (derogatory)," I believe Peng's the only one who means it. Meaning, I think Macaque says Wukong because he was the closest friend of SWK, thus that's the only name Macaque would ever call him (sure, he said Monkey King and shit in s1 but that was when he was duping MK soooooooo). Nezha calls him Wukong because after the whole Havoc in Heaven and journey stuff, he is the new oldest member to befriend Wukong and not be enemies with him (yes, he will get annoyed and aggravated by him, and he will not always believe Wukong's intentions are great, but he still cares and is his 2nd closests living friend).
Peng, on the other hand, does not give a shit. I fully believe that guy never cared for Wukong. They only joined the brotherhood because of Azure (they even offered for Azure to be the brotherhood's leader). I do not think Peng cares for formalities when it comes to people they dislike. We could argue that maybe Peng cared for Wukong in the beginning, but I do, honestly, not believe it. The only reason Peng even felt betrayed was because it messed up Azure's plan. Not because the two were sworn brothers.
But yeah, very few characters actually call Sun Wukong by his name, and when they do, it establishes not just how close they are/were, but also how long they've known each other. It's the same thing with how Wukong refers to others. He barely calls Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy by their names. He will give people nicknames and shit just to place a safe distance from them because of his own very unhealthy attachment issues.
In the Case of MK and SWK's Names for Each Other: the Actual Sunburst Duo Essay (you are free now.....)
Speaking of attachment issues, let's talk about the Sunburst Duo and how much these two need to sit down and talk.
So, we have discussed how names are integral to identifying a character's purpose, thematic journey, description. We have discussed how a person's title can clue in on certain characterization, present or future, and how they demonstrate the way others view them. Now let us apply this to our beloved sunburst duo.
As mentioned in your ask, @gumy-shark, both MK and Sun Wukong barely call each other by name (MK never has as far as I am aware, and SWK has done so only a few). It's "Monkey King" from MK and "kid," "bud," "buddy" from SWK. Rarely do the two ever think to say each other's name.
In the beginning, I originally thought MK only calls Wukong "Monkey King" as a way to be respectful, and with Wukong, I assumed he called MK "kid" simply because MK was very young to him. However, as we get into s3, and especially s4, MK and Wukong have grown a lot closer. Neither of them see each other as just a mentor or student but as friends. And yet, they cannot seem to stop calling each other by their title or nickname.
Thus, the distance is still there. S3 ends with Wukong promising to do better as a mentor and be more honest with MK, and we do seem him attempt this. He gives out more praises, he's more open about his feelings and then gets sucked into the memory scroll. But here's the kicker: the two are doing a reverse in their dynamic.
When it starts out, it is Monkey King who establishes the line between the two. He will simply be MK's mentor and teach him all the kid has to know in order to succeed him. MK is ecstatic to even be near SWK. This is his idol, the guy he's had a special interest in for years probably. He now gets to train under the Monkey King. He wants to do good. He wants to kickass. He wants to be just like him.
But as the story goes on, we see SWK open up to MK more and care for him deeply and want to protect him, and we see MK uncover the skeletons in SWK's closet and feel so alone and learn that the power he used to wish for is not what he expected. And in the aftermath of s3, it is now SWK who is opening up and trying to help kindle and safely guide their friendship in a healthier path(ish). It is SWK who is placing his own protege on a pedestal because "loook at him! isn't he so great and powerful! he will help this world a lot more than i did". It is SWK who is disregarding th original rules he placed. But now ,it is MK who is keeping the distance more than SWK. It is MK is trying to force some kind of distance. He feels like he shouldn't burden SWK with his doubts and worries. He is terrified of his own powers and their capabilities and worries his actions will make the same mistake as his mentor.
With s3 and s4, SWK has called MK by name quite a few times. Especially in s4. It's not a lot, but it's definitely more than before. And yet, MK cannot call Wukong by name. Personally, I think he might still feel like he's under Wukong's shadow. As his successor, there is a legacy that he will carry when Wukong actually retires and gives his title to MK (which is what I assume Wukong will do??? It is still unclear what exactly MK's succeeding SWK of). And that legacy is quite the burden. I would not be surprised that MK is unable to place himself as being worthy of taking Wukong's place just yet (if ever).
This guy was his idol for a long time. And with that, you tend to place a high pedestal for those people. MK has given Wukong such a high pedestal, and Wukong is very aware of it. It's why the guy even keeps his distance in the first place, and why he's scared to disappoint him. But, MK has learned so much, has been told of the tales and pain his mentor inflicted on others in the past (a past SWK greatly regrets), and yet cannot find it in himself to lower that pedestal or even allow himself to think about it. Because if he does, then he will have to acknowledge his own pain and his own disappointment in someone he not only admires but has come to love like family. And it is very hard to reckon with the hurt and pain caused by someone you consider family.
So yeah, they are silly monkeys who cannot communicate to save their life and need to just sit down and talk or else this will continue to boil and explode and we'll have a SWK and MK showdown (fuck yeah! i will be crying so hard).
[end of essay]
#was late to my next class because of this#got lost in the sauce that my friend had to text me for me to remember i have CLASS#sigh#hope you enjoyed my scholarly account on names and how they pertain to the sunburst duo#also barely anyone even refers to Tripitaka by name#it's always 'the monk this' or 'the monk that' he only gets called by name if someone is being very formal about it#LITERALLY TRIPITAKA ISN'T EVEN CALLED TRIPITAKA AND IDK WHY#WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUT LMK EXPLAIN#EXPLAIN YOURSELF#WHY IS TANG'S ANCESTOR BARELY REFERRED TO BY NAME#anyway#there you go#hope you're happy#i used all my brain energy for this#this took me 2 hours to write in total#and that was simply because i chose not to include screencaps from the show itself out of self restraint#lmk#lmk analysis#lmk sunburst duo#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian#sunburst duo#asks#read more#long post
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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 少年歌行/The Blood of Youth
The Blood of Youth is a 2022 live-action adaptation of the tale of a deposed, disabled, and incredibly cunty prince who's on his way back to settle the score with his asshole father, and the rag-tag band of weirdos he accumulates along the way, including Spear Girl, Bad Monk, and Fire Puppy (pictured above).
I hope you like shounen anime, because this is the most shounen anime something is allowed to be without actually being based on something running weekly in Shounen Jump. What if Nirvana in Fire were also Naruto? It would be the Blood of Youth.
This show is an underrated gem of action-packed fun that not nearly enough people in English-speaking fandom have seen. In an attempt to correct that -- and ahead of an announced second season and prequel in progress -- I'm here with five reasons you should try it out.
1. Zero thoughts head empty
You do not have to pay an enormous amount of attention to this show to understand what's going on. The show itself does not always know what's going on. It got distracted by a shiny object over there, and now we're all gearing up to go punch the shiny object. We'll get back to the main plot when we're done with the punching.
It has a million billion plot threads going on at any given moment. Bad guys roll in from sects you've never heard of before, using superpowers with stupid names, only to get kicked into next week. There's approximately eleventy thousand characters -- so many, in fact, that I ran into problems several times while making this rec post, because there aren't readily available photos of everyone I want to talk about. Just look at the DramaWiki cast list. See how it goes on for like fifty screens? That's a little what the show feels like.
Except I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, because the show knows it's doing this, and it acts accordingly. It telegraphs pretty well who's important and who isn't (and then it goes out of its way to color-code the latter, which is handy). What you're left with is absolutely a manga-style plot, complete with training arcs and semi-relevant sidequests, all working up to the final boss match.
It is an extremely self-aware show. On multiple occasions, something would happen, I would crack a joke about it, and then a beat later the show itself would make the exact same joke. I wouldn't call it an outright comedy, but it's still very funny, and on purpose. It has no illusions about being some kind of profound, meaningful epic. Mostly it's just here for a good time.
Yet this lightheartedness is what makes the powerful emotional parts really powerful by contrast. The show is not stupid; it's just goofing around most of the time. When it knuckles down, it can be devastating. And you know what? It does wind up being profound and meaningful about some stuff. How about that.
So yeah, if you're up for something that bops merrily right along and only occasionally rips your heart out, here you go!
2. Putting the poly in polycule
Bisexuals, rejoice! It's representin' time!
Here you go, I made a relationship chart of about 40% of the show's potential and canonical ships. I could have included so many more, but I only had so much space on the image, so I had to leave out some amazing ones, like the sword hedgehog who's real into this one cougar who could easily wipe the floor with him, or the rich nerd who thinks he has a chance with the aforementioned hot butch, or the fancy MILF who cheated on the emperor with a dreamy jianghu man and is trying not to cheat on him again with a different, slightly less dreamy jianghu man. See? There's just so much.
I would also say these are not exclusive ships. They are extremely inclusive ships. I am a fan of most (though admittedly not all) of the pairings listed here, and in fact of many of the three-and-more-somes indicated by these lines. They're such a cuddle puddle of shared intense feelings that it's hard to imagine anyone getting more than mildly jealous. Moreover, the potential for romance does not get in the way of hetero friendships; a boy and a girl who are each dating other people can go do adventures together, and (mostly) nobody gets weird about it, which is nice. If anything, what makes the overall dynamic so polycule-like is how equally friends and love interests get treated, meaning that it's not difficult to see a lot of crossover potential between those two categories.
If you're like me, you're hesitant about canonical romance, especially when it's straight, mostly because so many straight love stories wind up being tiresome, gross, and/or skull-poundingly boring. You will then be pleasantly surprised by how the canon pairings with members of the main cast are not like this at all!
Xiao Se and Sikong Qianluo are the main textual romance, and golly gee, they're just cute as heck. As the chart above indicates, I like interpreting them as two Kinsey 6's who have found their single exceptions, Mulder-and-Scully-style. Maybe one of the best things about their relationship is that it gets sidelined all the time for the plot. They're not so busy being in love that they forget to get shit done. Then they get a bit of downtime and get to go on a date, and you're like, aww, those sweet gay disaster babies are gonna do a little bit of heterosexuality. Just precious.
Tang Lian and Fairy Rui are right up there with the cuteness. She's a sex-positive dancing beauty who wants to ride that pretty boy like she stole him, and he's a shy sword boy so tightly bottled up that he'll explode if he sees a bare ankle. Avoiding spoilers, I will simply say that this is a pairing of two relatively soft people, until a bad thing happens to one of them and the other hardens up about it. If that's your jam, they're here for you.
Lei Wujie and Ye Ruoye are probably the most magical and the most practical of the bunch. They have a beautiful, super-dreamy, really horny sword-dance meet-cute, complete with its own pop song ... and then that's it, they're basically just together. She likes him, he likes her, good for them. In-laws aside, it's a refreshingly low-drama situation. Besides, I always love it when the hypercompetent woman gets the sweet, devoted himbo who'd do anything for her. Ruoye's had a hard life, and she deserves someone who can dick her down good at night and make her a nourishing breakfast the next morning.
And then there is, of course, The Ship:
Xiao Se and Wuxin are canonical, textual soulmates. The show treats their dynamic as more important than any other. It's so important, in fact, that the show has to sideline Wuxin for huge parts of the drama, lest everything get too damn gay. They each get a boyfriend catch on the other. They both do fairly reckless things when the other is in trouble. They are the secret hidden happy ending to the series. They share the kind of ride-or-die relationship built on mutually being the hugest bitches in any given room. Whether or not you think this is romance, it is extremely romantic, and the series agrees as much as it can, all things considered.
And if none of those flavors of love float your boat? Well, have you considered ... eunuchs?
3. She likes e4e
So I'm on record as being real into eunuch characters, right? Well, if you're with me on that, you are in for a treat here, because these are some absolutely buck-wild eunuchs.
There's five main ones, and I can't even begin to scratch the surface of what's going there. Like, really, I don't even think I understood all of what was happening with them. They're kind of the bad guys, but then they're kind of the good guys, but then some of them are the bad guys, but then they're just working for the bad guys, but then they screw over the bad guys, and ... it's just a lot, okay? It's a lot, and it's all happening with this bunch of catty bitches.
Also, you would not believe the difficult time I had finding any images for this section. I guess for some reason, fandom isn't way into a bunch of canonically dickless color-coordinated middle-aged men in weird hats? Whatever, man, they are missing out. If, however, you have the good sense to be into the intense and complicated (semi-romantic??) relationships among colleagues who also professionally just happen to be missing their external genitalia, buddy, strap in (and maybe strap on, depending).
Don't let me oversell how much these guys are in the show. They're not. They're vaguely important at points throughout, and they become incredibly important near the end, but they're hardly main characters. They're mostly back at the palace, doing their various schemes and looking absolutely fantastic.
So if they're such a minor part of the story, why do they get their own selling point? Well, I think their presence is a good example of two specific things about the show:
Specific thing the first: It's so queer -- not gay, but queer. Thinking back to my last selling point, you will notice how many of those straight pairings may look normie on the outside, but once you get down to it are not playing by cishet rules. (For instance, I've seen a lot of people read Tang Lian's resistance to sexual advances as asexuality, which, sure!) Likewise, there are lots of incredibly important, intimate relationships that don't conform to standard romantic pair dynamics. Add to that a lot of bodies with unusual characteristics and conditions, and you've got the makings of plenty of delightful non-normative love stories.
Specific thing the second: There are so many things going on with so many side characters that there's a kink here for everyone. Don't care for eunuchs? How about slinky villains with mind-control powers? Devoted servants who would do anything for their masters? Former bad guys who owe life-debts to the good guys who saved them? Bonded pairs traipsing around the jianghu together? Sons nursing legitimate grudges against the men who killed their fathers? Alcoholic widowers with incredibly slutty necklines? Mysterious cross-dressers with unconvincing moustaches? Vengeful brides? Martial siblings? Murderous royals? Guilt-ridden half-siblings? Boring star-crossed lovers? All these and more! It's a smorgasbord of rarepair fuel!
Also, I just love these toxic drama queens. It's like if RuPaul's Drag Race had the authority to have you executed.
4. The most intriguing outfits I've ever seen in anything (and yes, I'm including Winter Begonia)
Time for a fashion show!
The asymmetrical fits, the detailed embroidery on everything, the brilliant colors -- everybody just looks so good. And yet everything still looks ... eh, I don't know if "practical" is the word I want, but at least wearable. Nobody's dragging ten-foot trains of fabric behind them or wrapped in eighty floofy layers of gauze (except Rui, but she's special). Their outfits are strange and elaborate, but they don't defy physics.
What's truly stunning is how often they get new outfits. Xiao Se alone changes clothes about once every other episode, and more if he's getting a flashback. He is the fashion plate of the whole series, and every look he serves is pitch-perfect.
They're not outright color-coded, but the main characters do have certain colors associated with them -- which is extra-fun when you watch those colors bleeding into their friends' clothes as their relationships get stronger. I also think -- and I'm willing to be proven wrong on this point, but I think I'm right -- that they recycle some characters' outfits into parts of other characters' outfits. On more than one occasion, I'd swear that Lei Wujie shows up wearing the left half of something Xiao Se was wearing a few episodes back (tailored to fit him, of course, because that dumb ponytail boy is tall).
Where I think the costume design gets massive points, though, is that the costumes are themselves adaptations.
Before the live-action series, there was a 2018 3D animated donghua. I have never watched the latter, but apparently the drama is intensely faithful to the animated visuals, to the point where some fights are shot-for-shot remakes.
Of course, you can do a lot more with unreal clothing and bodies in animation -- and you can show a lot more skin, at least according to Chinese content laws. The live-action costumers chose to preserve about as many of the appearance beats from the donghua as they could manage, while still accepting the limitations of real-life bodies and materials. You can see some side-by-side comparisons here. The live-action outfits manage to be instantly recognizable without being slavishly devoted recreating to their inspirations.
So if you're sick and tired of dreary, ill-lit shows with bland palettes, this vibrant, colorful drama may be just the thing for you. It's a rainbow from start to finish.
5. Actually a good central plot?
Despite all the wacky delightful shounen nonsense that this show has -- and it has a lot -- the core of the whole narrative, which is Xiao Se's story, is surprisingly great and cohesive.
The short version is this: Xiao Se used to be Xiao Chuhe, sixth prince and somewhat heir apparent. Then he and his jerk-ass dad had a falling-out that resulted in the prince's having his martial arts abilities all but taken from him. He's been living the life of a very well-dressed innkeeper for several years, trying to avoid all of that palace garbage. But now his jerk-ass dad is dying, which means that a lot of horrible decisions are finally having unfortunate consequences for everyone, and Xiao Se's got to get back in there to make sure everything does not go to shit and land someone terrible on the throne -- even if it has to mean taking it himself.
His central conflict is between what he used to be and what he's become. Does he miss being Xiao Chuhe, high-ranked martial artist and future emperor? Or is he happier being Xiao Se, long-suffering nobody who can barely run a business, much less hold his own in a fight? What would he be willing to do to get back what he's lost? What are his obligations to himself versus his obligations to everyone else? How much is he responsible for his father's bullshit? And why has he wound up having to babysit this stupid Fire Puppy?
It's okay, they're best friends now. Lei Wujie decided.
No spoilers, but I liked Xiao Se's ending a lot. I feel it's very true to the character and shows a real understanding of who he is and what he values. And really, at the end of the day, sometimes all you need for a happy ending is your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend who's also your boyfriend, your other boyfriend, his girlfriend, and your long-distance for-real soulmate.
Feel like giving the youths a try?
You can find them on YouTube or on Viki. But be absolutely sure that no matter where you watch it, you make sure to go watch the epilogue as well. (And if you get real into the story, well, here's a link to information about all the other adaptations.)
You are also welcome for how I did not spend this post going off for five hundred years on how much I love Wuxin and his funky relationship to Buddhism. I figured that's way too niche of a selling point for most people, and might indeed have even been counterproductive. But know that I could have.
Also, I'm very happy about the announcement of a second season, because that's going to mean Liu Xueyi has to shave his head again, and he looks unbearably good with a shaved head.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the whole motorcycle photoshoot?
In case you hadn't noticed, the whole cast is stupidly hot. Hachi machi.
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Cross to Bear
Summary: A certain monk catches the attention of a woman that Uhtred and his men are gracious enough to rescue. Based on this request.
Warnings: Brief mentions of cancer, illness, death, abuse and alcoholism. Slight angst. Eventual smut.
Word count: ~3.4k
She is sixteen when her mother passes away from the lump in her breast. She cannot grieve. There is no one left to shield her or her younger sister from the beatings that their father is eager to dish out each evening when he stumbles home from the tavern, drunk and stinking of ale. They make the decision to leave, taking their chances out in the world.
The life of a vagrant is hard, but the exhilaration that is found in freedom is simply unmatched. On bad days, she is forced to share her body with strange men in exchange for coin to ensure her and her sister have enough to eat. On good days, they pick wildflowers in the warmth of the sunshine, and at night tell stories as they cuddle up together beneath the stars. They never remain in a single place for long, always moving, always searching for somewhere to call home.
She is eighteen when her sister develops a fever. She soaks rags in a stream to cool the scorching heat of her skin, allows her to drain their waterskin dry without complaint, and rubs her back as the persistent coughing denies her sleep. Within three days her sister is too weak to travel any further. They have been sheltering in dense woodland and are at least a day’s walk from the nearest town, so she cannot go to get help, she cannot risk leaving her alone in the open for so long. She has no choice but to sit and watch her deteriorate, providing what little comfort she can. By the next morning she is gone.
Upon waking to the feel of her sister cold beside her, she finally allows herself to weep. The ache in her chest that she has held at bay for the last two years finally breaches forth, blooming painfully through the expanse of her heart. She cries for the loss of her mother, for the loss of the only friend she had in her sibling and for how utterly lost she feels. Long after her tears have subsided she remains hunched over the body, consumed by her grief.
“If it is fever you must burn the body.”
She has no idea how much time has passed as she has laid there mourning, but the voice startles her out of her stupor and she looks up to see four men on horseback looming over her. She hadn’t even heard them approach.
They look to be mercenaries, all of them wear light armor and carry swords. The man that has addressed her has long dark hair and is brutish looking. One of his travel companions is bearded and surly, while another has a half shaved head; the Mjölnir around his neck indicates he is a Pagan. Ordinarily, she would be fearful in the face of such intimidating looking men, and assume they mean her harm, however, there is something about the fourth man that eases her mind and assures her she is in no danger. He has soft blue eyes and a kind face that wears an expression that suggests he is more afraid of her than she is of him.
“I-I cannot. I am alone.” She confesses, her voice hoarse from her earlier sobs.
“Then you will allow us to help you.” The long haired man insists, climbing down from his horse.
She learns their names are Uhtred, Finan, Sihtric and Osferth. They carry her sister’s body to a clearing and she stands solemnly, numbness settling over her, as she watches it burn.
“Who was she to you?” Finan enquires gently.
“My sister, my only friend, all that I had left.” She doesn’t attempt to hide her despair, she does not have the strength.
“We should say a prayer.” Osferth offers, his voice soft and full of sympathy.
She has never been particularly religious. What kind of a God would allow her to endure all she has been through and think it just? But she finds comfort in his orison, joining in with the “amen” that he finishes with.
“What will you do now?” Finan asks her.
“Truly, I do not know. I have nowhere to go and no one to go with.”
“You can join us.” Uhtred steps forward, eyeing the rest of the group as they all nod their affirmation.
“I have nothing to offer you.” She says, her cheeks flush with shame.
“Neither do we.” Quips Sihtric with a wry smile.
“Then it’s settled.” Finan decides, clapping Osferth on the back. “Baby Monk, she rides with you, you’re scrawny enough that your horse can carry both of you without any trouble.”
When Osferth discovers that she has never ridden on horseback before, he suggests that she rides up front with him behind her, so he can ensure she doesn’t slip off.
He helps her into the saddle and then climbs on after her. Her heart hammers in her chest as he puts his arms around her waist to take hold of the reins. She can feel his leather breastplate pressed against her back. Being in such close proximity to him causes her breathing to quicken and she stays rigid as they set off at a leisurely trot, afraid that he may feel the reaction she is having to him.
“My lady, please relax, or this will be an uncomfortable journey for you.” He tells her, though his voice is hesitant with shyness.
She blushes scarlet with embarrassment, mortified that he has noticed her unease. She does as he says though, settling back against him. His presence is calming, the warmth of him against her coupled with the gentle undulation from the horse soothes her.
A few moments pass in silence before Osferth speaks. “What happened to you?”
“It is a long story.” She sighs.
“It is a long journey.” He counters. She can hear the faintest of smiles in his voice.
She tells him of her mother, her father, of her and her sister leaving home and all they had endured on their travels. She recounts her sister’s fever, of watching her fade, everything up to the point that she had met him.
He listens, allowing her to speak without interruption. When she finishes he is quiet for a moment longer.
“I am sorry for your loss, my lady. I pray better days may find you.” He says eventually.
She sighs, eager to focus the attention on anything other than herself. “And what of you? Do you have a family?”
“There is not much to tell.” He admits. “I was a monk. Now I serve Lord Uhtred.”
She detects a sadness in his tone, there is definitely more to his story, but she dares not press him further as he is clearly uncomfortable speaking of it. She feels foolish for allowing herself to entertain her attraction to him; of course he is a man of God, he’d never be interested in her.
They ride on wordlessly, eventually coming to a stop once the sun begins to set. They set up camp and she is touched by the effort that the four men go to to ensure she has the shelter of a tent and a bedroll to sleep on.
However, she feels too confined as she lays under the canopy, so used to being able to stare up at the night sky, pointing out each of the stars with her sister. She misses her.
Dragging her bedroll out into the open, she places it close to the dying embers of their fire and lays down.
“My lady, what are you doing?” She hears Osferth whisper in the darkness.
“I am not used to not being able to see the sky.” She responds.
When he says nothing, she allows herself to drift off to sleep, feeling the safest she ever has.
Her eyes flutter open as dawn breaks and she is immediately met by the sight of Osferth seated by the burned out fire pit, looking exhausted.
She pulls herself up slightly, rubbing her eyes. “Osferth? You are an early riser.”
He smiles uncomfortably. “Truthfully, my lady, I have not been to bed.”
“Why not?”
“I did not wish to leave you out here by yourself, it’s not safe. I watched over you while you slept.”
Her heart flutters at his admission, an involuntary smile spreading its way across her features, which he returns with a genuine one of his own.
As the weeks pass, she and Osferth become comfortable travel companions. She spends her days leaning into his chest as they travel by horse. They share a waterskin, their fingers brushing ever so lightly as they pass it back and forth. She is unable to help the tingles that dance across her skin at each of his touches.
Their evenings are spent sitting around a fire, their knees grazing as they sit side by side, exchanging shy smiles and stories. He gives up the use of his tent, laying his bedroll out in the open too - a means for him to rest, but also ensure she is kept safe.
The first time that the group shares ale together, dread gnaws at her stomach. She has witnessed the effects that it had on her father, and does not know how she will cope with that when up against four men instead of just one. To her surprise and delight the mood becomes lighter and jovial as the amber liquid is passed around. She happily accepts and drinks her fill when Osferth passes it to her. He laughs when she grimaces at the taste.
She knows she is falling for him and there is nothing she can do to stop it. She is certain he feels the same way though, there can be no other explanation for how he looks at her, how he treats her.
That is until they stop for a few days in a town. She hurriedly follows Uhtred, Finan and Sihtric, as Osferth rushes over to them, pleading for help.
“He’s mine!”
“No, he’s mine, you bitch!”
“Filthy whore!”
She watches in shock as the two women exchange insults, slapping at each other, until Finan and Uhtred eventually pry them apart.
He has fucked both of these women. Both of them.
“Why do they fight over you?” Uhtred asks Osferth, holding back a red haired woman, who struggles wildly against him.
“I-I’ve no idea, Lord!” He stammers, before swiftly walking away.
But she knows why, and her heart sinks. She turns away, blinking back tears as she chastises herself for being so foolish. She had misinterpreted his friendliness for romantic interest and is now left feeling hurt as a result of her own delusions.
She swipes angrily at her eyes, swearing to herself that she will pull away from him after this, no longer allowing herself to entertain the girlish fantasy that they could ever be more than friends.
His behavior towards her goes unchanged though. He still holds her close as they share a saddle, still allows his fingers to linger against her own whenever they share water or ale, he sleeps outside each night with her, though always on separate bed rolls kept a respectable distance apart. It eats away at her, makes her ache, to endure such closeness and know it will never be anything more. Yet she endures it, knowing the only alternative is to return to a life alone.
It is a warm afternoon as she stands knee deep in the river, bathing. The water is refreshing against her bare skin and, for a moment, her troubles seem far away, running off of her in much the same way that the rivulets of moisture slide down her body.
She turns and catches sight of Osferth on the edge of the treeline, watching her. She has no idea how long he has been standing there for, but he freezes when he sees he has been caught.
While she is a novice when it comes to matters of the heart, she is certain the look in his eye is one of desire. Deciding to be bold, she steps out of the water and back onto the bank, not bothering to retrieve her discarded clothing. If her feelings truly were requited then this was the best way to find out.
She walks towards him, closing the gap between them. She can see his breathing is unsteady as he takes in the sight of her, he is trembling slightly. Leaning up on tiptoes, she presses the lightest of kisses to his lips, and her heart swells as, for the briefest of moments, he reciprocates.
As quickly as his lips meet hers, he is jerking away. “No, my Lady!”
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Backing quickly away from him, the familiar sting of rejection piercing her heart once more, she grabs her clothes and runs from him, before he has the chance to say anything else. Tears stream freely down her cheeks, this time she does not try to wipe them away. This is the second time she has allowed herself to be drawn in by Osferth, only to endure heartache.
He has now made it perfectly clear that he’s not interested in her and she decides it is in her best interests to pull away from him entirely.
She forces herself to sleep inside her tent, becoming used to textile above her head, instead of the glittering stars. She sits as far from him as possible at every opportunity. There are no more shared waterskins, their knees no longer touch. If the rest of the group notice the shift in dynamic then they choose not to say anything. She rides with Sihtric, sitting snugly behind him in his saddle, ignoring the pleading looks of sadness from Osferth each day when she climbs onto another man’s horse and not his.
He is just missing her companionship, she decides, he will get over it when they arrive at the next town and he finds another woman to warm his bed. She hardens her heart, allows her sadness to devolve into anger and continues to keep him at arm’s length.
The day they arrive in Coccham, they spend the day at an alehouse. Uhtred has managed to acquire the only two available rooms upstairs for the evening, so they will have the luxury of sleeping in an actual bed for tonight. She is almost giddy with excitement at the prospect.
When they have drunk their fill, they head up the rickety wooden staircase. Sihtric and Finan file into one room, with Uhtred following close behind. He stops in the doorway, turning to her and Osferth.
“Looks like this room is full now. The pair of you can share that one.” He nods towards the door opposite, before closing his own.
Her face blanches. Bastard. He has done this on purpose.
She sighs, pushing past Osferth and stalking into the room. A small double bed takes up most of the space in the narrow confines.
“Oh, fucking perfect.” She spits, rolling her eyes.
Osferth offers an apologetic smile. “I can sleep on the floor, my Lady, I don’t mind.”
She rounds on him, her anger flaring. “I’m surprised you haven’t found another whore’s bed to share for the evening!”
His eyes widen in shock. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You fucked those other women, Osferth!” She shouts, and before she can stop it, her voice is cracking as the dam bursts and she starts to cry. “You’ll put your cock into anyone but me it seems…”
His face softens and he moves to comfort her, but she is quick to push him away. “What’s so wrong with me?!”
He looks guiltily at her. “There is nothing wrong with you, my Lady, I think you’re beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen actually…”
“But you rejected me! When I tried to kiss you, you rejected me.”
He shakes his head, closing the gap between them and gently grabbing her by the shoulders. This time she doesn’t push him away. “You didn’t give me time to speak.” He explains, looking into her eyes with sincerity. “I wasn’t rejecting you. You deserve better than to be humped against a tree. If you’re to be my woman then I want our first time together to be special.”
She sniffles, her tears subsiding, replaced by confusion. “Your woman? If that is what you wanted then why did you lay with those other women in the last town?”
He sighs, averting his gaze, shame etched across his angular features. “That is not something I’m proud of, my lady. I have wanted you for so long, and been so pent up, I needed a release. I never told you of my feelings because I didn’t think I stood a chance. You are so wonderful and I-I am Osferth. I am simply Osferth.”
Her heart beats wildly against her ribs as she listens to him, staring up at him doe-eyed, unable to resist the grin that tugs at the corners of her mouth.
“Yes, you are Osferth.” She whispers, leaning up towards him.
When their lips meet he does not pull away. He wraps his arms around her, his mouth moves hungrily against hers in a kiss that is full of need and desperation. They pull at each other’s clothing, months’ worth of built up longing propelling their movements.
When they are both finally naked, Osferth guides her to lay back on the bend and she drinks in the sight of him appreciatively. While he is tall and slender, he is not as skinny as she’d expected him to be, well developed muscles add a broadness to his chest and shoulders. His erection sits hard, thick and heavy at the apex of his slim thighs and she bites back a moan at the sight of it, arousal pooling hot between her legs.
“You really are beautiful.” He murmurs, his gaze flickering over her form as she lays beneath him. “Will you let me show you just how much I desire you, my Lady? I wish for there to be no doubt in your mind.”
She nods, biting her lip in anticipation, waiting to see what he will do.
His hands trace over every curve of her as moves slowly backwards down the bed, stopping once his face is level with her cunt. Spreading her thighs he inhales sharply at the sight of just how wet she is for him.
There is no preamble, and she gasps, arching her back when she feels the flat of his tongue move through her folds.
He whimpers softly at the taste of her, the sound vibrating through her core, his grip on her thighs tightening as laps greedily at her, occasionally dragging the tip to her pearl, causing her legs to tremble.
She cants her hips against his face, noticing how he ruts against the bed as he devours her, his moans of pleasure intermingle with hers and the sloppy sounds of his lips and tongue moving in earnest against her centre.
As he sucks harshly against the apex of her sex she begins to feel the pressure of her climax building deep within her, her breaths becoming short and shallow. Osferth’s grip on her is almost bruising as the movement of his thrusts against the bed speed up.
With a final swirl against her bud, she falls apart against his mouth, clenching and writhing as he keeps his mouth firmly against her as she cries out in ecstasy, white hot sparks of pleasure rendering her boneless and light headed.
She closes her thighs around his head as he emits a guttural groan against her oversensitive cunny, his own pelvis stuttering against the mattress.
He appears dazed as he finally looks up at her, eyes hazy and chin shiny with her slick. She is certain she must look similarly bedraggled with how hard he has caused her to peak.
“We may have to wait a moment before we do anything else.” He confesses sheepishly, sitting up and looking down at the blankets where he’d been laying.
Her gaze follows his line of sight and she sees the mess he has made, a large patch of the bed now sticky with his release.
“You’re lucky we have the whole night then.” She giggles.
He moves to lay beside her, pulling her against him. “Yes, very lucky.”
#osferth#the last kingdom#tlk#osferth x reader#osferth smut#osferth angst#osferth fan fiction#osferth fanfiction#osferth fanfic#osferth fan fic#the last kingdom fan fiction#the last kingdom fanfic#tlk fan fiction#tlk fanfic#the last kingdom fanfiction#the last kingdom fan fic#tlk fan fic#tlk fanfiction#tlk smut#tlk angst#the last kingdom smut#the last kingdom angst
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helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !
thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far
ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(
rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.
i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.
prince of egypt (1998) i guess?
all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction
ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.
wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.
medieval and early modern era:
the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.
the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.
the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.
i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.
outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine
vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy
the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy
mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.
1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.
caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.
wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!
vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:
mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.
stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.
the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.
galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.
disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.
i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.
modern era:
killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece
aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??
the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more
black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.
the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2
the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.
the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s
o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s
victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.
lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo
amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.
the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.
disses:
domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.
i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me
damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.
lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.
i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning
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So the DBZ Abridged Buu Saga clips are out, here are my thoughts:
Android 18 knowing about Maron and her and Krillin messing with people about their daughter being named Marron is genius (cause I always found it weird that Krillin named his daughter after his ex girlfriend)
It's kind of insinuated that both Vegeta AND Bulma see the Capsule Corp interns as slaves, just shows they are perfect for each other, but also shows Dr Breifs' evil side peeking through his daughter
Trunks and Goten's voices were so damn cute!! Shout out to their VAs!
Everyone making fun of Gohan's durag XD
KAISER VOICING SHARPNER!! "He knows I love him. You know I love you" Me: AND I LOVE YOU!! A character I did not like in DBZ is now one of my favs in just a minute!
I loved the detail of Trunks referring to Goku as Kakarot (makes more sense since this Trunks grew up with and spends a lot of time with his father Vegeta)
The baby shark bit XD
"Gohan, you taught him how to dodge, that's great!" "TRUNKS PULL UP!!" LMFAO
Dabura's voice! HOLY SHIT!! it was hot
Buu's voice was also good, similar to the dub but way less irritating.
Goku, Shin and Gohan's discussion on shopping carts and tipping, as someone who worked in both fields, I FELT THAT! THERES A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR THOSE PEOPLE
Goku's "oh no" and a little giggle when Shin asked if Vegeta has evil in his heart. Goku KNOWS what's gonna happen and he's gonna let it happen XD
Vegeta's "I know you're playing me..." line to Babidi being a parallel line to Perfect Cell
Lani once again NAILING THOSE SCREAMS as Vegeta!
Vegeta killing thousands of innocent people, Goku's okay with, but bringing potato salad to a BBQ, HES CROSSED A LINE!
"God I missed you..." that made me chuckle.
Vegeta going to BBQs and movie nights with Krillin, they are friends now and I love it (underrated dynamic in DBZ tbh), also Vegeta acknowledging that he's now referring to Krillin by his actual name instead of "the bald monk". I always felt that Vegeta referring to people by their names is his way of showing respect, so him calling Krillin by his name, he hates that he now respects Krillin.
"Too bad we couldn't finish our fight. I didn't get a chance to wip out my new form-" *Vegeta knocks Goku out* PFFP- HAHAHAHA if he only knew
"I'm going to hug you now" "Hug complete" *knocks Trunks out* "I'm a way better dad than Kakarot" ASDFGHJK LOLOL
Vegeta referring to Goten as KAKATOT lol <3
The "Vegeta no" "Vegeta yes" bit having a conclusion with an emotional impact tied to Vegeta's death.
Even as a joke, I still got emotional during the abridged version of Vegeta's sacrifice.
BEST BUDDY!! HE SAID IT! HE FINALLY SAID IT! WE ALL KNEW HE WOULD BUT GOD DAMN THAT FELT GOOD!!
#my reviews#random thoughts#dragon ball z abridged#dbza#dragon ball#dragon ball z#dbz#team four star#youtube#son goku#vegeta#trunks briefs#krillin#son gohan#bulma briefs#majin buu#majin vegeta#buu saga
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Do Not Open That Door
Astarion is sure his leader's unflinching morals will lead him to another unwanted grave. He is also sure she is putting on an act because people like her do not exist, clearly. He decides to test his assumptions.
TW: None I think
WC: ~3000 words
Tagging: @spacebarbarianweird for the encouragement!
Astarion is livid. Well, maybe livid was an overstatement—he is annoyed. Annoyed and confused. Such feelings are still a vast improvement over the fear and shame he's been accustomed to, but they make him restless nonetheless.
Especially because their cause is walking steadily next to him without a care in the world for his inner turmoil.
Zélie, their oh so great leader, has managed to spoil what could have been a perfectly enjoyable afternoon on multiple fronts. First, she decides to talk to the goblins ambushing them instead of treating them like the savages they are.
(“We don’t know how many of them are in this village Astarion. What if there’s a little army and we’re outnumbered?”)
After confirmation that there were, in fact, quite a few goblins (and a couple orcs to boot), she managed to get free passage through the village by leveraging their wriggly alien parasite. He isn’t happy about it. Not at all.
He has to begrudgingly admit hers was a wise call after witnessing just how large and hungry those orcs were. And of course they even agree to help a fellow true soul in need. Just what he needs to undermine what little influence he has on her.
(Her blood is in his body after all.)
In the last tendays she had made it her mission to remind him how despicable murder is, under most circumstances, aside from self-defence. This beautifully idiotic mindset of hers almost got her killed twice in front of his very eyes.
(She doesn’t know he has taken to finish off the enemies she leaves unconscious while she isn’t watching.)
When he had pointed out the suicidal flaw in her morals, she had given him her signature scolding look, crossed her arms, and started breathing in that funny way of hers.
In, hold, out.
(She says she is not trained as a monk, but he’ll be even more damned than he already is if that is true. The way she fights and holds herself—and those sickening ideals she has—tell a different story.)
“Honestly, darling,” he hisses at her as they walk through the village, squinty eyes trained on their every move. “I thought we agreed that benevolence and honour,” he spits the words out like a curse, “get you nowhere but to an early grave.”
“Astarion,” she always says his name when she speaks to him—even in annoyance— and he hates his constant surprise at hearing it. His elven name had been replaced with other titles over time, more befitting of his status—boy, spawn, whore, slut, beautiful, toy, love…
Truly, it’s a small miracle he managed to hold on to his name. It’s one of the few things left that are truly his, yet hearing it spoken from that solemn woman's lips makes something in his chest preen.
“I thought we agreed to disagree on that front. No, don’t give me that look. Killing someone is never justifiable. No matter what we tell ourselves, we are taking away something that wasn’t ours to begin with. Something irreplaceable. Even—” she held up her hand as he started to complain, “in self-defence, even then, I will make sure to exhaust all alternatives, and even then, it will be a failure on my part.”
You moron.
“Too bad the rest of the world doesn’t think like you, darling,” he snapped. Hers was an act. There was no way in the hells anyone could survive to their…whatever age she was, he was never good with human lifespans, with that mindset. It was ridiculous, because if she actually was like that—if two–hundred years of shit didn’t teach him better—she should either be dead in a ditch or have ascended to godhood on her saintly behaviour alone. The only explanation he has for her standing close to him is that the mask she wears is as fake as his own. That, or she is a child of Ilmater. He bets on the former, given her complete ignorance of any deity on Toril.
“But you lied,” he counters, snapping his fingers. “You said we are here on Absolute business. Doesn’t that go against your precious code of honour?” he singsongs in her ear.
“I didn’t lie. My tadpole reacted to theirs, and they drew their own conclusions. Technically, we are going to their camp on Absolute business too, if you count removing these,” she tapped her index to her temple.
He smirks, victorious. “Circumstantial. One day, the tadpole won’t do the work for us and you’ll break your own code or doom us to death. For one, I’d rather not repeat the experience,” he says in a quiet voice, pointing at his chest.
Their companions are still unaware of his condition—another occasion his holy leader conveniently withheld information.
(“It’s your secret, it’s your decision.” Hypocrite.)
“Astarion, I know you take me for a fool, and I would normally pay more respect to a man—elf—my senior by centuries, but really. I can be practical and have a moral compass, and that means that when the choice is between lying and killing, I will pick lying any day, even if I don’t like it.”
Enough.
Her words incense him, annoyance suddenly turns into rage and something else—what’s that, envy?—he pivots on his left heel and closes the distance between them so fast she has no time to react. Zélie is left pinned to the wall, their bodies a breath away from touching, and he internally celebrates the surprised look on her face.
He stares at her down his nose, ducking his head and planting a slender hand on the wall beside her head.
Astarion has to make her stop before he tears her self-righteousness out of her throat. Before she realises how useless it all is—how useless and tainted he is—and either stakes him or banishes him. Because even her sickly, do-gooding self, fake or real it be, must have limits. If he pushes hard enough, they’ll crumble, and then he’ll be proven right. She is not what she says she is because creatures like that aren’t real.
“Let’s make one thing clear, darling,” he growls, nostrils flaring, “you may be our great leader, but you should get off your high horse before someone shoots you off it. I don’t know what perfect little corner of the universe you grew up in, but you know nothing of this world and its dangers.”
He flashes his fangs at her to drive his point across. The others are out of sight, looking for supplies in some ruin or cellar. Gods, he misses the city.
Zélie is staring back at him, bristling, but lets him continue. She never interrupts any of them, not even him.
“I thought humans were all about developing and living fast, but you, my dear, are as ignorant as a babe. I am trying to make sure we keep our collective hides safe and do not get sidetracked by other pitiful creatures on our path.”
He realises just how close he is to her when she straightens up again and their noses almost touch.
Pale eyes go darker with a flash of anger.
There. Come at me. Prove me right.
“Spoken like a true man of the law, lord magistrate.”
Why the hells is her tone so collected when she has a literal vampire at her throat?!
“You seem forgetful, so I’ll remind you that it was my ignorance that stopped Shadowheart from connecting her mace with your head. And it was my stupidity that convinced her you could join us, and that we should give you a chance at trust.”
She makes no move to get closer, but he recoils as if scorched by fire.
“And it is the same trust I placed in you yesterday when I let you bite me, even though it’s not how I envisioned a night of rest to go. I trusted you to stop, I trusted you to keep your word and not leave me a corpse.”
There it is. Reminding him of what he owes her. Of his debts. They say the quiet ones are the most depraved, and she is the strong and silent type. But he is nothing if not an expert in the art of subservience at this point, and if it gets her to keep giving him blood and protection—
“I trust you.”
Then you’re doomed.
She says it as if it were a challenge. Her gaze is unwavering and he is left speechless yet again. Cazador would admire this quality of hers.
“I hope you can trust me in return.”
Impossible woman.
“Well, I suppose you’re not wholly incompetent,” he manages to croak out. His nonchalant mask is harder to slip on this time.
She huffs a breath of a laugh, a tiny thing, but it’s enough to transform her whole face. The weight she carries on her deceivingly flimsy shoulders seems to lift, leaving behind a young woman smiling softly at a…well, a monster. Talk about inexperience.
Happiness suits you, little leader.
The fact it’s his prattling that caused this marvel of a transformation stokes something in chest and in the pit of his stomach that he promptly pushes down.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Zélie says. She moves away and he is left staring at the crusty wall. Her body never touched his own during their exchange.
Wait. That’s wrong. He was meant to make her see the reason in his ways, not the other way around. So why is he at her heels like a lost puppy the minute she walks away?
(“You are nothing by yourself boy. You owe everything to me.”)
He is weak. So weak he has leashed himself to a human who can barely read common, fuck's sake.
His temper rises again once he catches up with Zélie. He doesn’t need her condescension, nor her chiding (she doesn’t even know his full story yet, nor she ever will unless absolutely necessary, so pity isn’t there yet). He’ll show the wretched woman how wrong she is.
Karlach and Lae’zel jog behind them as they reach a barn with a door locked shut. Zélie thinks nothing of it at first, but Astarion can smell what’s inside.
(His senses born anew from her blood.)
He smells the ogre and bugbear and their horrid affair before the rest of his companions hear the grunts and noises.
“Oh God, someone’s fighting!” exclaims Zélie.
Fighting, you say?
An idea strikes him.
See what your misplaced goodness gets you when you try to help an ogre.
“I don’t know soldier, they don’t sound like fight noises to me,” says Karlach leaning towards the barn, but even she seems unsure. Astarion’s talents may be limited to a specific area, but in this case it works in his favour. He is very familiar with what those sounds mean. The half-ogres that fucked him into the bed so hard he bled were not so different.
(He still remembers how much it hurt, how he was left in a puddle of mixed releases, sweat, and what little blood he had).
“Well, even if they are fighting, it is clearly not our problem. I say we leave them to it and focus on what’s really important,” he says, using his annoyance as a hook. Zélie may be the most restrained person he’s come across, but he knows how to read people, and he knows she will do the opposite of whatever he says when it concerns morals.
She falls for it. His smile is harder to suppress.
“Astarion! We’ve just talked about this!”
Her voice raises a bit, but it’s almost eclipsed by another loud grunt from inside the barn.
“So long as my blade can be sharpened on my enemies’ bones, I am ready.” Lae’zel is almost as ignorant as Zélie when it comes to their world, which is usually a hindrance, but now it’s the push their little leader needs to run to the rescue.
Zélie tries to open the barn door (after cutting another withering look at the vampire lazily strolling at her back), finding it jammed.
The crescendo of grunts and bangs coming from inside is extremely loud now.
Gods, they must be disgusting.
“Hello?! Help is on the way, hang on!” the little human shouts as she frantically tries to get the door unstuck.
“Oh hells, let me do it, darling, before we turn into tentacled freaks,” Astarion says in mock-annoyance. She eyes him suspiciously and he shoots her a winning smile. His nimble hands make quick work of the lock, and he pushes the door open.
He needs just a peek to know his assumption about what was happening in the barn is correct, and turns to face his now horror-stricken companion.
“Gods, they are disgusting,” he comments with his lips crooked in a satisfied smile.
Zélie scrambles to compose herself and turns her back from the scene (the prudish) as she fails to find words to explain herself. “I—I am, I apologise, we thought—”
Oh, she’s in a state. Her cheeks flush redder than rubies (he can practically hear her delicious blood pooling there), whilst the rest of her is paler than after Astarion’s feeding. She opens and shuts her eyes as if trying to physically erase what she just witnessed.
The bugbear slides his now soft cock out of the ogre, and looks at them in rage.
“W–what the hells are you doing?!”
Oh, Astarion is thrilled. He doesn’t remember when last had such fun. He hears Lae’zel’s tsk’ and Karlach’s gags behind him, and he closely watches Zélie fumbling as he didn’t think was possible.
“Apologies! I, you—you were making a lot of noise and I, we, thought you needed help,” she holds her hands in front of her in a peace offering. “I apologise for the intrusion! We’ll leave now—”
“Ruined! SMASH. I’ll smash you!”
Oh. Astarion didn’t expect that. He just wanted to show Zélie how ungrateful the world is to idiots like her, not have her turn into orc food.
Before he can think, he is tackling the woman to the ground, the orc’s club crashing a few spaces to his left. Karlach and Lae’zel’s throw themselves at the aggressor, and the fight starts in earnest. Astarion is more a stalker than a fighter, but he had his first fill of human blood only hours before, and his senses have never been that sharp, so he doesn’t miss the bugbear rushing towards their prone form.
Daggers at hand, he braces to parry the onslaught (this may hurt) when his worldview shifts, his back in on the ground, and chilly afternoon air replaces the heat of his leader on his chest.
What just happened?
He turns his head to see the bugbear crashing to the ground, Zélie crouched on one leg and tripping him with her other. “Go help the others! I’ve got this!” she shouts, as she wraps her limbs around the assailant in a tight bind. “Wait! It was an honest mistake—”
He doesn’t want to hear her voice now. Doesn’t want to think how the little moron literally threw him away from danger. Even worse, he will refute the idea he protected her from an angry orc till his last breath. He only got his body back recently. That’s it. He still is unsure of how to use it.
And she's dinner.
He doesn’t want to dwell on what happened, so he nods and throws himself at the female orc while she is distracted by his companions.
The fight doesn’t last too long after that, and something takes a hold of his insides when he looks at Zélie. She is silent, staring at the large corpse on the ground, bugbear knocked out at her feet.
“Darling?” He moves towards her and the sadness in her eyes almost makes him apologise. Gods, what has he done? He didn’t think this was going to happen. And why does he care?! This was his intent, this and seeing the real her behind the strong, polite facade.
“I just wanted to help.”
“I know, darling. I—”
See now, how impossible it is to keep your ideals in this world?
“You knew,” she says, and while he words his excuses (the only real one being he didn’t think they were going to be attacked) her shoulders drop and a defeated huff leaves her mouth. A far cry from her happy smile earlier.
Astarion can’t wrap his head around how he caused both reactions in such a short span of time. But this look on her, this, he knows. He has seen far worse in the eyes and screams of those fools he lured back to his master, once they had his way with him and realised a bit too late they were as trapped as he was.
He expects her to shout, to berate him, kick him, punch him, stab him, banish him—but none of that comes. Zélie studies him intently, and something in her demeanour lights up, an internal judgement made.
“I still trust you.”
No. No no no, he’s not going to let her fool him into believing this—no!
Her face is suddenly level with Astarion’s knees, the now-awake bugbear readying a strike.
Astarion doesn’t need to think—he falls forward and sinks his dagger into the wretch’s neck. Blood spurts out, but after tasting Zélie’s Astarion has no interest in it; mud compared to a clear sky.
“Soldier!” shouts Karlach, ever the helpful friend. Zélie pants as the dead attacker slides off of her, eye to eye with Astarion again. He can feel her light breath on his face. Karlach pulls her up; he is cleaning his dagger on the bugbear’s clothes when an outstretched hand enters his vision. Hers.
“Come on,” she says, tired but steady again. “Let’s get back to camp.”
Astarion flinches from the hand as if it were a trap (it is always a trap), but Zélie is new territory for him, that much he begrudgingly accepts. She is apparently above the rules of their miserable world because she chooses to trust him, a vampire, a lying one, again.
He takes her hand, bracing for what may come his way, but she just helps him up.
“Thank you, by the way. For saving my life before.”
It’s a trick. It’s a trick. Don’t fall for—
She wraps her hand around his so delicately he thinks he may break, and shakes it. His thoughts and words are silenced yet again.
“Thank you.”
Fuck.
#bg3#astarion x oc#astarion x tav#oc: zélie#tav oc#astarion#astarion fanfiction#bg3 astarion#bg3 fanfiction#human tav#I still feel bad for the orc and bugbear
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things I Did Not Expect from Journey To The West, a summary by an lmk fan whose wife is reading and sharing EVERYTHING:
Wukong is basically baby in the beginning? Like my god he’s just so excited and eager to learn??
The jokes about ‘ANOTHER MOUNTAIN’ and ‘ANOTHER RIVER’ Were Not Exaggerating
it really is a monster of the week format, which is neat; I wonder if this novel is where that trope started
Wukong is incredibly polite... most of the time
there is actually some basis in the book for things I saw circulating in fandom which is kind of cool
there is also some basis in the book for things I assumed were made tf up, like Wukong being a hero to the people of mortal realm as told in Macaque’s shadowplay backstory (found in the Slow Cart Kingdom chapter, where The Gold Star Of Venus tells the captive monks that Wukong is “a person of vast kindness” who “will avenge injustices, assist the oppressed, and comfort widows and orphans”
Wukong doesn’t dispute this, either, which means he’s actually done it
Wujing is very quiet at first, but slowly starts coming out of his shell and is kind of sassy sometimes! I love it but I wish he had more screentime? more time in his head?
the author really did just forget the horse is a dragon I wish that bro did anything at all
Bajie is... surprisingly awful for awhile, and in ways I can maybe see are supposed to be him acting out because of the whole ‘let me force you on this trial on pain of something probably worse’ thing, but it’s frustrating the novel doesn’t give him the same depth it gives Wukong by giving us more insight to his thoughts
speaking of which I’ll be honest, when I first poked into the lmk fandom and saw people who had ready jttw there, I was expecting their accounts of Wukong and a lot of the awful shit that happens to him to be exaggerated some because he’s their favorite and sometimes you just quietly inflate the facts to make your favorite less problematic c’mon we’ve all done it but- no.
Holy shit, they were not kidding this monkey really does just get put through so much shit.
The BOOK takes MULTIPLE instances to DIRECTLY SAY he’s in tears, and not the ‘noble, poetic’ kind of tears that a lot of old epics give to their heroes (minus maybe the Flowerfruit Mountain revelation in the WBS chapter) but like- very real tears.
He has a few instances where he’s a bully and he steals some shit but none of that warranted what happened to him, there’s the MOUNTAIN AND THE FUCKING CIRCLET, there’s him taking blow after blow for Tripitaka (sometimes kind of rightfully, since there’s a couple instances so far where it’s his fault the situation exists at all), there’s him being set on fire and drowned and Bajie constantly turning Tripitaka against him in the beginning, Wukong is constantly saving them all from danger after they do something he told them not to or walked up to someone he told them was a demon, and like at least two or three times Tripitaka promises they’ll listen next time, or thanks him, and then PROCEEDS TO NOT DO THAT, there’s the fact that Tripitaka uses the circlet WAY too many times, and in situations where nobody’s life is in danger, there’s the fact that Tripitaka always resorts to name-calling when he’s angry with Wukong, there’s multiple references to Wukong looking sick and starved, there’s watching in real time as he internalizes the idea that he’s ugly and scary and his only worth is what he can do for other people- holy shit this monkey has trauma, and he really, honestly doesn’t deserve it compared to what he’s actually done.
like no seriously I don’t have all the time in the world to hunt all these quotes down but here’s one that happens when Wukong tries to prevent them from discovering a demon who had disguised himself as an innocent human child in trouble: "You wretched ape! How villainous you are! You don't have the tiniest bit of kindness in you! Every thought of yours is bent on making mischief and working violence! I told you that it was a human voice calling for help, but you have to spend countless words to claim it was a monster. Look! Isn't that a person hanging on the tree?" Seeing how the master was putting the blame on him and also the form before his face, the Great Sage lowered his head and dared not reply, for there was nothing he could do at the moment and he was afraid that his master would recite the Tight-Fillet Spell. He had little choice, in fact, but to permit the Tang Monk to approach the tree.
like bruh that one made me straight up feel murder as an emotion
(also ‘Wukong isn’t the main character’ MY ASS)
in that same vein Book Tripitaka is just... so unlikable
like I see there was a definite attempt at making him interesting- it’s clear that some of his reactions are borne from the trauma of what happened to him right at the start of his journey, and it’s intriguing to me that as the novel goes on he outright regrets ever agreeing to this quest- much different than most characters on A Hero’s Journey, and especially given that he’s a monk on a religious mission
also worth noting that it seems the gods almost deliberately set it up so that he and Wukong would have instant friction
but my god the way he treats Wukong when Bajie is infinitely more trouble and disrespectful is just... infuriating; he’s downright vicious to him
I did not expect to hate Kuan-Yin so much but I super do fuck her
what happens to Red Boy is so very fucking DISTURBING FUCK KUAN-YIN
also fuck Erlang
THERE’S JUST A CASUAL GENOCIDE? OF FLOWERFRUIT MOUNTAIN? THAT’S LARGELY GLOSSED OVER AFTER WUKONG FIXES THE ISLAND AND KILLS THE HUNTERS?? LIKE BRUH THAT’S PRIME ANGST MATERIAL CAN WE MAYBE DIG INTO THAT A BIT MORE??
certain chapters I saw hyped up really are Actually That Good, including the White Bone Spirit chapter, the Slow Cart Kingdom chapter, the Red Boy chapter, and the (very bizarre) Macaque chapter
it probably wasn’t the author’s intention but Tripitaka comes off as super aroace
on that same note, Wukong says a thing or two that gives a range from which to pick your favorite personal headcanon; mine is demi
Bajie keeps losing it over women but also knows what Wukong’s ass looks like which is bruh okay
the tiger slaughtering I saw referenced really does happen just immediately after Wukong is freed, and then Wukong makes that skirt just... part of his outfit forever
Wukong really does utterly adore his monkeys it’s so cute
the Macaque chapter is indeed weird, but very good; also super cool to see what might be fiction’s first instance of the evil doppelganger trope
that part where the three disciples sneak into a daoist temple to eat all their food and hang out? is really cute, and I wish we had more moments building up to that kind of development in their relationships
but interestingly, we DO see developments that happen as a RESULT of this chapter!
Bajie is way less trouble, for one thing, making more jokes with the others and causing far fewer headaches
and Wujing is more talkative! as well as sassy!
as for Wukong, when Tripitaka starts panicking over obstacles in their way, he starts saying “we’ve got this” and “you have the three of us” instead of “you’ve got me” and “I can handle this.”
Wukong is disturbingly So Ready to show off how unkillable he is and I’m glad the lmk fandom has agreed this is a self-harm behavior because YIKES
the amount of times Tripitaka falls off his horse or experiences his soul yeeting itself from his body is both relatable considering the circumstances, and really frustrating
Wukong seems to agree actually because most of the time he’s surprisingly kind and cheerful when assuring Tripitaka but every now and again he snaps and says or does something mean
Wukong and Tripitaka’s relationship is by far the most explored one at this point (just finished the Macaque chapter) and somehow there is still wasted material THERE’S MORE YOU CAN DIG INTO BOOK PLEASE
the fact that Wukong and Macaque fight like feral cats to each location in that chapter remains hilarious and is especially funny without the lmk context (of which we still have none)
so much of this book explains so much about lmk Wukong but like we still need to know exactly how much of the book they’re making canon to their universe skjfnslkdjfnsdf
#lego monkie kid#lmk wukong#lmk macaque#lmk tripitaka#journey to the west#sun wukong#tripitaka#most of this is about wukong and i am not sorry
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kung lao in the spider-monk au
none of this super awesome epic story will make sense without PART 1 !!! explains how liu kang became spiderman
all story below the readmore VVV
when liu leaves for america, lao is hurt. he knows, logically, that raiden is the one to blame, but liu didn't even fight to stay or take lao with him.
and then deadpool comes along.
the vigilante slash mercenary is just stopping by, purely coincidence. decided he wanted to see the place. kung lao, of course, was naturally curious, and approched to say hello. to his surprise, deadpool is fluent in mandarin, and they strike up a lengthy conversation about their different lives. at one point, deadpool mentions "his spider-monk back home". kung lao naturally asks about it.
deadpool pulls out his phone, and pulls up a selfie of him and spidey- spidey's mask is half- up his face, and he's in the middle of trying to eat a taquito. deadpool is going on about the selfie, but.. kung lao is focused on the face. the lips of this 'spidey'. they have the exact two matching scars that liu's lips have, from when they were 8 and had the brilliant idea to get into body modification. it's the same mouth kung lao has seen scarfing down soup after training that reaches for a bit of taquito in the picture.
deadpool realises after a few seconds of silence that kung lao is in shock. and then that kung lao is crying. oh, shit.
kung lao spills immediately. he's ranting. he's raving.
HOW could liu do this?? first, leave without a hint of remorse to america of all places, second, start taking up dangerous hobbies, and third, NEVER FUCKING TELL HIM????? what was he thinking!? the idiot will get himself killed doing stupid shit without kung lao there.
deadpool offers the condolence that "he's definitely guilty about it, and i know he misses you. assuming, here, that you're the 'other half' he's always waxing poetic about."
and then, because he's an agent of chaos, deadpool offers payback: a secret to keep from liu. that way they're even. deadpool can offer training. (aka, wade really likes this kid and wants an excuse to hang about)
lao accepts immediately.
it's the next month that sees good news finally arrive-- in the best decision he's made since the 18th century, raiden is sending kung lao overseas to be with liu kang.
kung lao moves in on liu's last day of school.
raiden never told liu that lao was coming. liu kang comes home to find lao standing in the flat, like an idiot, staring at the doorway.
hugs. embraces.
then kung lao gives liu the tongue-lashing of the century. liu, fully aware at this point he's been a dick, takes it. then they hug again.
they spend the entire summer break together causing chaos in NYC, finally back together again, the dynamic duo.
and then liu discovers kung lao's secret-
not only has kung lao been training with deadpool, he's started his own stint as a vigilante.
needless to say, the fight that ensues is a whirlwind of huge, horrible emotions, name-calling, blame-throwing, and hurtful words.
they've made up by the end of the night anyway, because they both get miserably sad when they're mad at each other. unfortunately, their solution to the newfound power imbalance they've correctly identified as the unfair factor is possibly the dumbest plan any teenage vigilante has EVER thought of.
they're going to infiltrate oscorp, steal one of those fancy spiders that bit liu, have it bite lao so he has powers too, and then be on their merry way.
and they do it. and it fucking works. by some miracle, it works. peter and ned, now in on the secret, are their guys in the chair. mj is their strategist. they infiltrate, they steal, they escape, and oscorp are none the wiser. and even more miraculous, the spider doesn't kill kung lao.
kung lao develops powers, though they're slightly different from liu's-- he can't stick to things, and he isn't quite as strong. however, his regeneration is more comparable to deadpool's than to liu's, and he's got bones of steel-- he's practically impossible to hurt now. fitting.
and so he takes his RIGHTFUL place at liu's side as an equal vigilante, and after they're out of their month-long grounding for pulling that stunt without telling matt anything, they're a veritable vigilante family. matt is trying to obtain legal guardianship over them, and they're fine with that.
(lao, as a vigilante, calls himself styx. he's visually not a successor to deadpool, but when you see him on the field, deadpool's humor and violent tendencies have very much rubbed off on him.)
#spidermonk#mk11 au#mk11 kung lao#mk11 liu kang#kung lao fanart#kung lao#liu kang#deadpool#wade wilson#matt murdock#daredevil#spiderman#kung lao is a tboy in this au#btw#if you even care
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Appa's Lost Days
Dare I hope?
You know, if ten year old me had turned on my TV to watch my weekly dose of Avatar and been greeted with a nearly two minute long uninterrupted sequence of a frightened and distressed animal being mistreated, that TV would have turned right back off again.
I don't buy that a ten tonne bison who has the leverage of his own weight as well as his airbending abilities would succumb to so few people.
Name one other character that Avatar has presented as so thoroughly without any redeeming characteristics. Even Zhao was at least kind of funny. Everything about the chucklehead on the left is rotten to the core. "What's your dad going to do when he finds out we broke his stuff while doing crime?" "Nothing. It's not his stuff; it's previous crime."
I thought beetle-headed was a commentary on their intelligence, but it's actually a description.
I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that I should have waited to get my hopes up until I came to an episode called Appa's Found Days. Is this whole thing going to be a series of near misses with the Gaang?
You know, if I had a nickel for every time an animal companion on this show has been threatened with a trip to the butcher's, I'd have two nickels. In the space of two episodes.
This is not fun to watch guys.
Not if I break you first asshole.
The way this Nurse Ratched type circus guy says "earn it" is chilling.
Of course the Fire Nation would find a way to turn bending into animal abuse. Of course.
a) that cage is way too small
b) who knew cabbage suction could be so cute?
Completely unsubtle parallel with the boy here, right down to the complete disregard they show to the threats thrown their way.
Stubborn and wilful are not adjectives I would use to describe Appa this episode, or ever.
Wind buffalo. Wind Buffalo. Really? Was Fart Cow taken?
That's a very relatable facial expression.
That makeup and costume is awful.
Now that's satisfying.
Is the Fire Nation kid voiced by Aang's voice actor?
Nevermind. THAT'S satisfying.
I was right - this episode is Appa always being a step behind the Gaang.
Baby Appas! This almost makes this episode worth it!
It's funny how a single feature can contribute so much to a character's design. Arrowless Aang is just some kid. Let me rephrase that, since such a big part of Aang's character is the fact that he's just some goofy kid. Arrowless Aang is indistinguishable from other kids for the first time this series, because every other time we've seen him on screen he's either the only child airbender with his arrows, or the only airbender left.
Lady monks. Nuns? I don't think I've seen those before.
Appa and Aang share a dreamscape? That could be useful.
There's dumb, there's really dumb, and then there's 'wake a completely asleep and therefore harmless unknown creature with threats of violence' dumb.
Close call for Iroh. Do you think he's suspected that Appa (and presumably the Avatar) haven been in Ba Sing Se this whole time?
Bipedal Appa is strange. A very effective fighter, but strange to look at.
I'm amazed that giant boar thing walked away from that.
And now they're hitting me with an 'Appa's given Up' montage. Someone who works on this show hates me.
*Heroically refrains from ranting about the impracticality of using white fabric for an active warrior's glove.*
"This could be our most important mission yet." Foreshadowing?
Did Suki and Appa actually meet at any point in the Warriors of Kyoshi episode?
Turns out 'Aang' is a magic word.
Appa kisses!
Appa is apparently legally banned from having anything good for more than five minutes. Although it's good writing that they're using a previously established weakness - Appa's shedding - to bring the danger ladies back in.
I guess they have Azula drop the line about her brother to remind the audience of who she is, but surely Suki's like "Who are you? Who's your brother? Why should I care?"
Azula going after the Kyoshi warriors is completely unnecessary right? The Avatar isn't there. Neither are Zuko and Iroh. It doesn't even net her Appa. She's just looking for someone to beat up.
WOW this is bad writing. Like really bad. My Immortal levels of bad.
Would it be too much to ask for the Kyoshi warriors to do even slightly ok against the Azula ladies? Couldn't they at least get a couple of hits in?
Kudos to Suki for essentially sacrificing herself and her warriors to save Appa. 'Most important mission yet' was a bit on the nose.
Out of options, Appa goes home. Ouch.
Someone explain this to me. Air Bison teething ring?
My what a human sounding cough you have buddy.
This is why you don't use Air Bison as guard dogs.
I like what this Guru is saying. Fear displacing trust but not love feels more accurate than how I usually see the consequences of trauma discussed.
The music playing throughout this sequence fits so well. I think it's some sort of metal thing you hit - I want to say a variation on tubular bells, and maybe something Glockenspiel adjacent? It's unlike anything I've heard in this show before and it fits so well that I'm nerding out a bit.
Disney princess Guru. Aang has Disney princess moments too. Maybe it's an Air Nomad thing?
No wonder the monks built a temple here. Even destroyed, it's gorgeous.
And Appa decides to trust again. I love it when an animal visibly comes to a decision about your trustworthiness.
This energy reading stuff makes sense given that Aang and Appa already share a dreamscape.
He IS a great beast. The best!
OH COME ON
Someone whip up a wanted poster for Long Feng: Cattle Rustler. It had also never occurred to me that he was an earthbender.
That flip move with the earthbending platform must have caused Appa to land on his back. I bet that hurt.
One of the times I am very grateful that the closing credits music is so upbeat.
Final Thoughts
@aboutiroh I see why you recommended I save my chocolate for this episode.
The Tale of Momo was really just a preparatory taste of things to come, huh? Almost a microcosm of this episode.
This is the first episode where I had to take breaks while watching. Especially the circus sequence, I think I got up twice to do things like get a cup of tea and stare randomly out windows at squirrels. I didn't even have to do that with Zuko Alone, despite freaking out a lot about it, because at least that episode took breaks from the child abuse to check in with Aang being miserable. This episode was unrelenting.
If I had seen this episode when I was the age of the target audience, this may well have turned me off the show for good. If my Mom had seen this episode, I would have been banned from watching the show entirely. Not a decision I'd agree with, but my Mom is the type of person who banned her kids from watching Bambi.
To watch through all of that unrelenting animal (at best) unhappiness, and still not get Appa back at the end of the episode? That's a bit much. It's not often that this show ends its episodes without at least a little bit of something positive.
Once again, the music did a lot of heavy lifting this episode. The animal noises weren't quite as emotive as the ones in Momo's Tale, but Appa's face is more expressive, and more was shown through his expression than through Momo's, so I feel like this episode had just as much non-verbal animal communication as Momo's Tale.
I think I'm renaming season 2 "the Suki redemption arc." I really didn't like the Warriors of Kyoshi episode, and I didn't like what her character did in that episode. But every time Suki appears in season 2? She absolutely nails it.
The show since losing Appa has taken to wallowing. Even with bright spots like the poetry bouncer, the overall tone since Appa's appanapping has been ever more dark. If this keeps up for many more episodes, it will no longer be fun to watch.
Somehow I don't think this one is going on my rewatch list.
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Tomas & Liu Kang
I’m trying to put things into right perspective about Smoke, Liu Kang’s approach to Tomas and how pushed into background he was during story mode so bear with me while I’m connecting dots.
Also, to be clear, I’m not here to morally judge the characters, just to talk about the dissonance between Smoke vs Liu Kang intro dialogues and the story mode.
For one, the pre-fight dialogues imply that Tomas lost his family due to Liu Kang (Keeper of Time)’s choice:
Smoke: "Did you intend for me to be orphaned?"
Liu Kang: "Some threads must be cut to weave time’s fabric."
and
Smoke: "I'm not sure I can forgive you."
Liu Kang: "Being Keeper of Time meant making many hard choices."
When Tomas was orphaned, Kuai Liang & Bi-Han’s father adopted him and made one of Lin Kuei. If the accusation is true, then we can assume Liu Kang wanted Tomas to join Lin Kuei, as he did in the past timeline(s). So, in theory, Smoke for whatever reason was important enough for the Keeper of Time to get involved and steer events to get the wanted result.
Which raises a question, why did Liu Kang not bother to recruit Tomas into Lin Kuei the same way he recruited Kung Lao, Raiden, Johnny Cage or Kenshi, by like, actually talking to him and taking for training? Or even why not just ask the befriended Grandmaster to take the boy (and Tomas' family) under his wings, which I think the man would do without further question.
Instead, Smoke was orphaned, taken in by Lin Kuei, adopted as son of Grandmaster and trained in magic to equalize his chances in the fight (in contrast, Bi-Han’s ice powers seems to be a natural part of him, related to specific bloodline).
Now, if Tomas was so important, if not in the greater scheme of things, then just for Liu Kang (and Kuai Liang), isn’t it weird, he is so sidelined and omitted by Fire Lord in the story mode?
Again, not judging characters, solely pointing out this choice of storyline, as this is especially visible during collecting the champions for the tournament arc.
In Chapter One, when the test was over and Liu Kang came to Kung Lao and Raiden to explain things, he specifically called only Bi-Han (the current Grandmaster) and Kuai Liang (Bi-Han’s blood-brother)
while Tomas was totally omitted and stayed behind with the rest unnamed Lin Kuei warriors.
Which, visually speaking, is weird, as just before that scene we could see Smoke walking alongside his adoptive brothers (with Bi-Han leading the group, Tomas and Kuai Liang walking a bit behind their leader, but before the unnamed warriors);
In the next chapter, again, only Bi-Han and Kuai Liang assisted Fire Lord in his quest to recruit Johnny Cage and Kenshi. Again, both Lin Kuei were addressed by their birth names, instead of codenames
while there is no information why Tomas was left behind. He likely was entrusted with escorting Kung Lao and Raiden to Shaolin Monks, yet the lack of proper mention emphasizes the pushing into the background.
We didn't learn officially Smoke's status as adopted brother of Kuai Liang and Bi-Han until Sub-Zero's chapter (#8). Unless I miss something, the first person on screen to actually address Smoke by his birth name was surprisingly Bi-Han.
Which makes even weirder the lack of including of Tomas from Liu Kang, as the Fire Lord and Smoke stayed allies through the story mode and intro dialogues (with some resentment on Tomas' side for death of his family) while the relationship between Bi-Han and Tomas was much more complicated to begin with.
We could make an argument that Liu Kang didn't want to antagonize Bi-Han by including adopted Tomas too much, however:
A) Bi-Han has never denied Tomas right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons - seen especially in Sub-Zero's speech pattern, as Sub-Zero always says just "Father", the same as Tomas and Kuai Liang, never putting emphasis on "my" as a reminder Smoke is adopted. The real conflict is not about whether Tomas is his and Kuai Liang's brother or not, but about him being a true Lin Kuei. What is also worth to keep in mind, any tension between brothers happened only in privacy (here and during the mission), never around Liu Kang.
(A similar thing can be noticed in intro dialogues. In Smoke vs Sub-Zero, Bi-Han specifically says "Because your blood is not Lin Kuei" however in Liu Kang vs Sub-Zero, when Fire Lord claims brothers (plural version!) miss him, Bi-Han doesn't correct his opponent about Tomas not being one. He instead says "Then they shouldn't have disobeyed my commands.")
B) Liu Kang did not show Bi-Han any special respect, especially not the kind of respect and friendship offered to Sindel and her husband, Jerrod. And yes, Fire Lord mentioned Bi-Han before Kuai Liang, and addressed him during the meeting before the mission (while the Sub-Zero's younger brothers - subordinates - stood together in silence)
but that basically it? Bi-Han didn't seem to be favored in any special way, I don't think he even was addressed as Grandmaster by Fire Lord at any moment in story mode.
Which is why I personally don't see why Liu Kang would omit Tomas solely to not hurt Bi-Han's ego or to not antagonize the man further - especially since Bi-Han himself didn't push the matter in any specific - openly - way nor didn't deny Tomas the right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons in the first place.
Frankly, as we don't see how Lin Kuei were informed about the upcoming meeting, we should ask, did Liu Kang call Bi-Han and specifically Smoke and Scorpion for the mission, or was that choice made solely by Sub-Zero? Because Lin Kuei for sure must have much more experienced warriors that Tomas (and Kuai Liang for that matter) but also sending on dangerous mission the Grandmaster AND the second* in line of succession seems impractical from the perspective of clan' inner safety.
*second and third, if Tomas was allowed at all to be the heir. Considering how neither Smoke nor Scorpion even for a moment considered that option and how Sektor & Cyrax would choose Bi-Han's corruption of the clan before accepting Kuai Liang as a new leader, the inner clan politics may not be so simple.
During the Lin Kuei mission (Sub-Zero's Band of Brothers Chapter) and during Bi-Han's betrayal (Scorpion's Civil War Chapter), the three brothers didn't address each other by codenames and as much as the situation allowed, freely interacted with each other.
However once Bi-Han is removed from the story mode, Smoke is even more pushed into the background. When asked, he will answer and make some (one?) observation however he barely interacted with other characters, mainly sticking to his brother. The most important exception is the scene when the heroes were wondering what to do after the big revelation and Tomas on his own talked about Lin Kuei and Bi-Han.
The story mode at that time was focused on other characters (like Mileena & Shang Tsung) so understandably, Lin Kuei brothers were put aside however even then Scorpion played a vital part, as it was Kuai Liang making the plan of attack, when Liu Kang wasn't around, while Tomas for most part was just there.
Again, no moral judging of characters just a mere observation how Tomas interacted the most freely with his brothers while was omitted by Liu Kang - and like, never(?) addressed by him in story mode, either by name or codename, even if the intro dialogues strongly imply Liu Kang was the one pushing Tomas into Lin Kuei in the first place.
Which makes an interesting contrast to Bi-Han & Smoke’s relationship but also shows how without intro dialogues, the relationship between Tomas and Liu Kang seems… non existing? I mean, even at the end of story mode, Liu Kang mentions Bi-Han
and his brother Kuai Liang building a new clan,
yet there is literally no mention of Tomas and his participation in the creation of Shirai Ryu and training its members (something confirmed in Scorpion and Smoke's endings).
Which only add to the weird feeling of alienating Tomas in story mode, not by Bi-Han but Liu Kang of all possible people?
#mortal kombat#tomas vrbada#smoke#bi han#sub zero#liu kang#tomas vrbada & bi han#i'm still trying to figure out how i feel about liu kang and tomas relationship and how smoke was always omitted by fire lord#and like not addressed at all?#tomas aided him during fight against titan shang tsung then helped kuai liang to make a new clan and train new members#but at the end of story mode liu kang still talked only about bi han and his (blood) brother kuai liang?#c'mon man#tomas deserves some praise here too#and this is all even more ironic#as majority of fandom seems to think bi han hates tomas' guts for being adopted kid?? when he included him in his task for liu kang#and actually address his brother in the same fashion he talks to kuai liang (granted he is frustrated by both and the never ending talk#about father and traditions so he is short tempered toward both brothers)#but like story mode wise we can say tomas and bi han has some serious relationship going on#when liu kang alone doesn't include tomas in any specific way even though intro dialogues imply he wanted tomas to be lin kuei?#what i'm supposed to think? that liu kang did not know that tomas was adopted by lin kuei grandmaster that worked specifically for him#like everyone in lin kuei did for generations??#i'm pretty confused by this story's choices sometimes
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Baby it's cold inside
Osferth x reader
Summary: Nights in Bebbanburg are cold, and even subconsciously you refuse to spend them alone
Requested by anon
Word count: 800
Osferth had expected many things when they had finally helped his lord to reclaim Bebbanburg. He expected having to rebuild, take up residence there, and much more. What he hadn't expected, however, was how bloody cold it had gotten.
The snow and chilly winter breeze seemed to be made ten times worse by the sea breeze. It had been bearable at first, but overnight the temperatures had dropped to new hellish chills.
It had gotten so bad recently that you had all but refused to leave your room and join the boys in the hall. Your absence was noticeable and in the last week it was already common knowledge that if you weren't around then you were holed up in your bed.
Cradling his cup of ale with stiff fingers, Osferth looks up at the familiar call of his name. Sihtric was hauling around an arm full of firewood, and was motioning at Osferth to follow. Downing the last of his drink, he was quick to stand and jog over to Sihtric's side, nose scrunching in annoyance when the logs are immediately deposited into his arms.
"Our resident hibernator has requested fire" Sihtric says in lieu of an explanation, before offering a teasing grin "I figured you'd want to be the one to warm them up."
Osferth's cheeks heat in embarrassment, but he offers no rebuttal, following the still-grinning Sihtric to your room. Upon claiming the Bebbanburg you had immediately taken one of the only rooms with an in-built fire place. No one had been brave enough to deny you.
Knocking, Sihtric received no answer and considering you hadn't screamed at him deemed it ok to enter. It quickly became apparent why you hadn't answered, bundled up in furs up to your neck and dead asleep.
Osferth took a few seconds to admire your sleeping face, scrunched up in annoyance at the cold. For a second he had thought you awake, squirming in place to try and get warm with an adorably grumpy whine. You'd always hated the cold, and Osferth had quickly had to become used to you worming your way into someone's bed when you got too cold.
Where once Osferth had been completely scandalised he had become riddled with jealousy whenever you went to someone that wasn't him for warmth.
Hearing Sihtric laugh behind him, Osferth immediately turns, face ablaze when he realises how blatantly he had been staring. Moving swiftly past the snickering man, he got to work on starting the fire, staring firmly into the kindling flames.
As if sensing that a fire had been started, you let out a happy sigh. Turning to look at you, Osferth noticed that your face had smoothed out considerably, and you were letting out the most adorable happy mumbles.
Osferth was across the small room and by your side before he could stop himself, long fingers stroking reverently at the exposed skin of your cheek.
"'Sferth" you mumbled, and for a second he was afraid he'd woken you. Yet to his great surprise, you remained asleep, leaning into his touch as you called his name one more.
"M'cold. Need my baby monk." Osferth didn't think it was possible for his heart to beat any faster or louder than it did after your words sunk in, skin heating in a way that couldn't be attributed to the fire. Sihtric was positively howling with laughter from behind him, and it was a testament to how deeply you were sleeping that you didn't wake.
Osferth was frozen. Heart hammering and unable to tear his eyes away from your sleeping face. Suddenly his world was tilting as a hand on his back shoved him down and onto your bed. Despite his best efforts, Osferth still couldn't avoid landing on top of you.
That was enough to wake you, bleary eyes looking around in confusion as you fought slightly to catch your breath. Osferth frantically tried to apologise but Sihtric had fled and you were not even close to being lucid.
Halfway through his newest round of apologies, your eyes finally seem clear enough to recognise him. "Shhh, sleepy time" you simply mumbled, throwing an arm over him and pulling him under your furs. You had moved alarmingly quickly for one so sleepy, and before Osferth could protest you had wrapped around him like a snake, falling back to sleep almost instantly.
After several failed attempts at escape Osferth finally accepted his reality. Finally allowing himself to relax, he revelled in the feel of your face buried into his neck, and hand on his pounding heart. Lulled by the warmth and happiness he felt at having you in his arms he eventually drifted off to sleep beside you.
TAGLIST: @kaitieskidmore1 @kitty-marie725 @nyctophilic0vitnir @jamespotterismydaddy @thelittleswanao3 @eudximoniakr
#osferth#osferth x reader#baby monk#the last kingdom#the last kingdom x reader#the last kingdom osferth
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warnings: none really?
pairing: Sihtric x you (f)
summary: A wet nurse raised you to keep you from being killed by your uncle. After her death, you ended up as a slave and developed a crush on a boy in Dunholm, who you never saw again after Kjartan sold you to someone else. You eventually became a warrior and a bounty hunter. After an eventful life you found back your brother, Uhtred, and joined his men. And one of those men used to live in Dunholm.
word count: 3,1k
Note: this was a request! I hope I did the idea some justice, and thank you for your patience :)
taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @anditsmywholeheart
'They call her the widowmaker,' Finan huffed. He looked at you from across the alehouse, as you laughed at something Uhtred had said. 'What d'ya think of that? Because, I think,' Finan burped, 'we should stay away from the woman. She might just kill us.'
'Why would she kill us? We don't have wives,' Sihtric scoffed, 'or a bounty on our head. Also, she is Uhtred's younger sister, he knows her and wouldn't risk letting her serve him if she was a danger,' Sihtric got up and threw his cloak around his shoulders, 'anyway, I am going to get some rest.'
'Yeah, yeah, leaving me with the baby monk again, aye?' Finan laughed as he rubbed Osferth's head, who slapped his hand away quickly and Sihtric nodded with a smile.
Sihtric kept his eyes on you as he walked out, hoping you would meet them, but you never did.
'So you were raised in a secluded forest?' Uhtred smiled, 'that explains why you're tough as nails now. You did well for yourself, I am proud, sister. You get good silver for the bounties you take?'
'Good enough,' you smiled, 'but it wasn't always like this, Uhtred. My wet nurse took good care of me when she feared Aelfric would want to kill me too, like he wanted to kill you as a young boy. But she died, years ago. And then I fell into the hands of Kjartan.'
'Kjartan?' Uhtred raised his eyebrows, 'Ragnar killed Kjartan.'
'So I've heard,' you smiled proudly, 'I spent some years there, as Kjartan's slave, but I was sold again before Dunholm was taken from Kjartan. It was then that I learned how to become a warrior, to take care of myself. I don't need anyone, Uhtred, but I am so happy the gods made me cross paths with you again.'
'You will always have a place with me and my men,' Uhtred said and you drank to that. 'Speaking of Kjartan,' he continued, 'one of my most loyal men is Kjartan's bastard son. He helped us take Dunholm.'
You nearly choked on your ale. 'One of your men?' you took a quick glance at Finan and Osferth. You didn't know their names yet as you had only just found Uhtred earlier that day, but you had seen three men around Uhtred from a distance, and you didn't recognize any of them as a son of Kjartan.
You had known his sons, they were present when you were a slave. Sven was a horrible boy, and you were happy to hear he died a horrible death. The other son, you remembered his name as Sol, was different from everyone else in Dunholm. He was your age. He was kind and gentle, but you only ever met him at night. It was unheard of to be kind to slaves, so Sol had to sneak around in the dark to talk to you, to make sure you were okay. He looked after you the best he could as a young boy, he always brought you food and water. You called him Sol because you had a crush on him and he always made you feel warm, like the sun. And in return he called you Mani, because your skin was, and still is, as pale as the moon, which he thought was beautiful. But when you were sold as a slave again, you never saw Sol again. And you always wondered if he was still alive. You remembered Sol had two different coloured eyes. As a little girl, you believed that one eye was lighter because he had the goodness of the gods in him, and that his other eye was darker because his father was Kjartan the Cruel, and it resembled the shadow that his father would always cast on him.
'Yeah, one of my men,' Uhtred smiled and looked over to Finan and Osferth, only to see Sihtric wasn't there, 'oh, I see he has left. Finan!' Uhtred yelled, and Finan stumbled over to your table.
'Lord?' he said, and deliberately kept his distance from you.
'Finan, where is Sihtric?'
Sihtric, you thought, I don't know anyone named Sihtric. But knowing Kjartan, he probably had at least a hundred bastard sons.
'Sihtric left, lord, he said he wanted to rest. But I think,' Finan paused, looked at you and whispered, 'I think he is afraid of the widowmaker. We all are actually, lord.'
Uhtred snorted and looked at you, 'sister, this is Finan, one of my men. And he tells me that they are afraid of you.'
'Are your men married?'
'No.'
'Do they have a bounty on their head?'
'Not that I know of,' Uhtred laughed.
'Then they have nothing to fear,' you grinned at Finan.
'Aye, see, that is exactly what Sihtric said,' he shuddered.
'Whoever Sihtric is, he is a smart man.'
'I wouldn't say that,' Finan grinned.
'Well, Uhtred, Finan,' you bowed your head to the Irish man with a devilish grin, 'I will also get some rest. Killing men is quite exhausting.' You winked at Uhtred, who wished you a good night, but he called your name before you could walk away, 'now that you serve me, tomorrow night you will guard the fortress with one of my men.'
'Fair enough. I hope it's with him,' you chuckled at Finan, who looked as if death had just spoken to him and he clutched the cross around his neck in his fist.
—--
The next day you spent hours at the stables, until evening, taking care of the horses and checking if everything you had with you was still intact. If you needed a new saddle or reins, now was the time to get them, before you would join Uhtred and his men on their journey in a few days. It was cold out, but you kept yourself warm by moving around. What also made you somewhat heated, was that you felt a hard stare in your back for a while already. You had glanced over your shoulder several times, and saw it was the man Uhtred and Finan had called Sihtric. He had dark, short hair with the sides shaved, exposing a tattoo that ran from his neck up to one side of his head. He had a sharp jawline and an intense stare. Normally, you would be flattered, as you thought he was handsome, but you were annoyed because you remembered Finan telling you they all feared you. If this Sihtric was really afraid you would kill someone, he should know better than staring you down. You had no plans of killing any men here, but Sihtric was high on your list right now if you decided to go on a killing spree.
After you had your dinner later that evening you made your way to the fortress stairs and climbed up. You had never stood watch before, but you figured it would be rather dull. You had been here for only one night, but it seemed rather quiet. Darkness had already taken over and the torches made for a warm atmosphere. You were in a fine mood, until you saw that the man you had to stand guard with was the man who made your blood boil earlier that day.
Sihtric quickly stood up as he saw you appear and he bowed.
'My lady,' he said. You gave him a quick nod and sat down several paces away from him.
This will be a long night, you thought to yourself when you saw Sihtric was fidgeting with his rings, not saying another word to you. You also had no desire to talk to him, so you just sighed and hoped dawn would approach soon. After what seemed like forever, you became more agitated with Sihtric's fidgeting. First with his rings, then he kept touching his mjölnir pendant as he quickly glanced at you, and soon he started to hum. And if there is anything you hated, it was humming. A shame, you thought, he is handsome, but useless probably.
You sighed loudly, again, and looked up at the moon. She was full tonight, and shone brightly over the fortress. The moon made you remember the boy from your childhood, Sol, and you smiled weakly. You didn't know Sihtric watched you, and to this day he would swear his heart had stopped when he saw you smile.
Just when you thought that Sihtric couldn't get any more on your nerves, he cleared his throat. Not once, not twice, but a whole three times before he finally spoke. And when he spoke, you really had to focus to figure out his rambling.
'I… when I was… back when,' Sihtric mumbled as he tripped over his words, 'I used to…,' he cleared his throat again, for the fourth time, and when he spoke again his words came out with such speed that you struggled to keep up, 'when I was a boy, I had a crush on a girl I had met. But one day she was just gone. Yet I never stopped loving her. And I always wondered if she was still alive, and if she was still as beautiful as I thought she was when we were young. This girl, she took my breath away as a boy. She… she was as pale as the moon, and therefore I called her Mani.'
Sihtric looked away from you when he had stopped talking, and he sighed nervously when you didn't respond to him. It's her, he thought, I know it's her. But she probably never loved me the way I loved her. She doesn't remember me.
'Sol?' you spoke so soft, you were surprised to see he snapped his head up to you.
'You called me Sol,' he smiled softly, 'you said it's because I-'
'Made me feel warm like that sun,' you finished his sentence before he could, and you stared at each other with wide eyes.
You got up and slowly closed the distance between you and Sihtric. When you finally stood before him and looked down into his eyes, you saw that he had the goodness of the gods within him, and the darkness which used to be his father's shadow.
'My lady, I never told you my real name when we were younger, but my name is-'
'Sihtric,' you smiled nervously, 'Uhtred and Finan told me. And my name is-'
'(Y/N),' Sihtric said and chuckled nervously, 'Uhtred… told me.'
You both were at a loss for words, you just smiled at each other while trying to find out who was going to make the next move, and what that move would be.
'I… I never forgot about you,' Sihtric said.
'And I always dreamt of you,' you said, 'even these days, I still dream of your eyes. And I-' before you could finish your sentence Sihtric had got up, and he pulled you into his arms with such force that it almost hurt. He held you tight for a long time before pulling back to look at you and cup your cheeks.
'My gods,' he smiled, 'I knew it was you. The first moment I saw you yesterday, alongside Uhtred, your beauty simply punched the air out of my lungs. And I only ever felt that feeling once before, when I met you when we were young.'
'Oh,' you chuckled and felt yourself blush, 'you… you're…' you placed your hands on his arms and felt his biceps, 'oh, I mean, you… you grew up handsome.' And although it was rather dark, you could tell he blushed too.
And suddenly, without any warning or stopping yourself, you felt your hands pull at his armour and you planted your lips on his. You felt Sihtric was surprised by your action, as were you, but it only took him a second to adjust to the situation and kiss you back.
And gods, you thought, he is a good kisser. Slow, gentle, but intense. Whoever gets to kiss him must be the luckiest-
You abruptly pulled away from Sihtric and took a step back as you tried to catch your breath. 'Gods! Oh, gods, I am so sorry!' you panicked, 'I don't even know if… like… are you… are you married?'
'What? No!' Sihtric panted, looking you up and down as he frowned, 'why? Are… are you? Married? Or… s-spoken for?'
'No! Gods, no. I'm not!' you breathed heavy, still feeling a little ashamed.
'Oh. Good,' Sihtric huffed, 'that's… that's good.'
'Yes, good,' you said and nodded, 'good,' you said again and became silent when you saw how Sihtric was looking at you.
And faster than you could blink, Sihtric took a step towards you and grabbed your face to kiss you again. And he kissed you so deeply, so desperately and so passionately, as if he wanted to make up for all the lost time. And you let him, because you had missed him and wondered about him all the same. And if you had known he had become the handsome man that he is now, you would have longed for him all that time.
'I have always loved you,' Sihtric whispered, finally breaking the kiss.
'I have done too,' you smiled softly, 'but you look so different. I didn't recognize you.'
You couldn't resist running your hands through his short hair, only to feel it was soft and smooth, and he smiled to your touch, pulling you even closer against his body.
'Where have you been all these years?' Sihtric asked and leaned his forehead against yours.
'Everywhere,' you whispered, 'I loved travelling all this time. But… I don't want to be anywhere else ever again, other than in your arms.'
'I will never allow you out of my sight again,' he chuckled, 'but what happened to you? When you disappeared from Dunholm?'
'Your father sold me as a slave,' you said, and saw Sihtric's face drop.
'Gods,' he sighed, 'if he wasn't dead yet, I would've been the one to claim his life now.'
'Sol,' you chuckled, 'I mean, Sihtric,' you shook your head, to which he smiled, 'I'll need to get used to that.'
'You can call me whatever you want, my lady, as long as you never leave me again.'
'I have to confess,' you grinned, 'I thought you were handsome, but you really made my blood boil. The way you were staring at me earlier today, and how you were fidgeting and humming moments ago.'
'I'm sorry,' he smiled and nuzzled your nose, 'I tried to figure out how to approach you and confess my… my,' Sihtric stammered, and quickly shut his mouth.
'Confess what?' you frowned and watched him sigh with a shy smile.
'Confess my love to you.'
'Oh.'
'Too soon?' he grimaced.
'Well,' you blushed with a smirk, 'we kind of have known each other for a while already. But… maybe we should take it easy. We have both changed a lot since we last spoke.'
'We have,' Sihtric nodded, 'but my love for you never changed. But you are right. And I want to hear everything. All that you have done since you left Dunholm.'
'I will tell you everything,' you shivered suddenly, 'but maybe someplace warmer, at a better time, tomorrow?'
'Actually,' Sihtric smiled and took your hand, 'there has never been a better time.'
He threw his cloak around his shoulders and sat down, close to a small fire he had created before you arrived, and he pulled you in his lap. You giggled as he wrapped his arms around you along with his cloak, and without thinking you buried your face in his neck as your arms wrapped around his waist. You both chuckled nervously at being so close to each other. And as he made you feel warm, like he used to do when you were younger, you kept your promise and told him about everything that had happened since you had last seen him.
Sihtric listened to every word you said and watched you with big eyes. You saw how he sometimes got distracted, then his eyes would wander down to your lips and a small smile would appear on his face. You teasingly nudged him every time it happened. But you didn't mind it, because you did the same when he told you everything that had happened to him.
And as Sihtric made you feel so warm and comfortable, you accidentally dozed off in his arms.
You were rudely awoken by someone clearing his throat and someone kicking at your feet. You almost jumped up as you opened your eyes, only to see Finan and Uhtred staring down at you and Sihtric, who apparently had also fallen asleep at some point.
'So,' Finan said, 'the fort has been breached and ya both slept through it.'
Finan snorted and you rolled your eyes. You looked at Sihtric who tried to hide a smile as he squeezed you in his arms, under his cloak.
'Sihtric,' Uhtred said.
'Yes, lord?' Sihtric replied and almost threw you off his lap as he stood up.
'What were you doing with my sister?'
'Nothing, lord!'
'Don't lie to me.'
'I am not, lord.'
'Then why does she have marks on her neck?'
You quickly moved your hands to your neck, to hide any love bites that Sihtric might have left, and Sihtric just didn't know where to look as he tried to find the right words.
'I…I, she.. We didn't… I never-' Sihtric panicked.
'I am joking,' Uhtred laughed, 'she has no marks on her neck. Right, sister?'
You blushed and didn't answer, you weren't sure. There was a good chance that you had some love bites, as you remembered how Sihtric had cuddled you and planted kisses all over you before you had fallen asleep.
'Sister?' Uhtred asked again and slowly stopped smiling.
'And what if I had?' you suddenly snapped back at him, remembering who you are.
You were a warrior, a widowmaker. You had been a slave and you had slaughtered men in shield walls. You weren't afraid of any man. Not even your brother.
Uthred was taken aback at your answer and didn't know what to say.
'I actually quite liked how Sihtric kissed me last night,' you said, 'and if I have any love bites on my skin, then I will wear them proudly, so everyone can see how well I am treated.'
Sihtric's face went red as Uhtred and Finan turned to look at him.
'I knew Sihtric when I lived in Dunholm, and I have missed him ever since I was forced to leave. So, forgive me, brother, but I will not waste any more time. I just want to be with the man I love.'
You took Sihtric's hand in yours and made way to the stairs. You were planning on spending the rest of the day cuddled up in bed with him.
'Wait!' Finan suddenly yelled, 'this is the girl with skin as pale as the moon? My god! Sihtric would never shut up about you. It was about damn time he found you again. For a while I actually thought he had made you up!'
#sihtric x you#sihtric x reader#sihtric kjartansson#sihtric fic#sihtric#the last kingdom fic#the last kingdom#tlk
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Hello. I do not know if your request are open, but if they are could you please write courting headcanons for upper 1.2.3 like you did before? If yaou do not want it is okay (sorry. English is not my first language)
Requests are always open, I just might take a while in some. Don't worry, if anyone wants me to right anything as long as it follows the rules of the blog, I will. I did promise to do this if anyone wanted so to this I will add Gyokko and Nakime, so:
Traditional Courting [more or less], Demon Male Reader. (Also no sexual content).
First part here.
Warnings: Cannibalism, Human death, Mentioned suicide, Trauma(?) dumping, angst (why the fuck I can't write Akaza without angst?)
Kokushibou:
You first asked him for permission to court Kokushibou, he only told you to get out of his sight. You did.
A few months later Nakime summoned you into meeting him again in the Infinity Castle. You were told you would be, not only courting Kokushibou, but staying with him to search the family that leads the Demon Slayer Corps, Ubuyashiki.[Muzan got tired of Kokushibou not finding anything and started to relate it to him just not searching at all, so you are there to remind him and motivate him to do so.]
Kokushibou was not very happy with these news,offended that a man wanted to court him and give him the traditional women's role, but accepted gracefully the orders. At first, he only ever ignored you, but you slowly, very slowly, managed to spot what would awake his attention as you both searched through all Japan (it gave you more time the fact uou disn't know how to recognize the Ubuyashiki he send you after and Kokushibou seemed to get lost in his mind more often than not). But even after he was not the one to start a conversation, he prefered to spend time in quietness and quiescence. He barely eats, barely does anything other than meditate and practice his breathing forms. It's like he's more a slayer than a demon, but you don't mind.
Kokushibou just doesn't take anything you offer he doesn't like, and it takes you months to figure out his taste in gifts and food. Turns out he likes handicrafts, not buyed or stolen, but actually made from the one who gives the gift, not caring for quality of the product, but for the effort. You found out since he had a small and horribly done bamboo flute with a clean cut in his robes, when you tried to make another flute he also kept it. "It's.... I feel like you care. The fact that you did it yourself... It's personal." So you use rocks, paper, bamboo, clothing, wood and other things you find and steal to try and make jewelry, fans, karakuri boxes, origami and so. He always takes them, even the ones that are made poorly.
As for the food, again, he barely eats, but you only have ever seen him eat swordsmen, mostly samurais, but it's like everytime they are harder to find [the samurai class was abolished at 1868]. You decide to motivate him into trying new meals, he doesn't eat old men nor slayers, but you later find out he didn't even like the taste of the samurai "I don't know why, but it feels right for them to die by a demon." You did find a new favorite, buddhist monks, the closer to the Nirvana the better.
He doesn't like to be called anything other than his name, and he prefers the use of honorifics. He is also not kin in starting physical contact, but with time he starts accepting your approaches. Most of the time he just likes to sit down and listen you talk or having you hughing him in silence. There are times he starts conversation, he talks a lot in those, being more a monologue than anything else.
"I only want to become the best. Become more than... but it doesn't matter anymore. Right now you want to become part of my life, you wanted that so badly you went to Muzan-sama for it, and for some reason he decided to grant you what you wanted. I don't understand what he saw in you, but... your presence is now something important. Just make sure to always be behind me, reaching for me, and I will always be near to accept you." Honestly, he always speaks so cryptically you gave up in the meaning bahind of what he says, he never explains it. But you try your best to be understanding.
You spend hour days moving and searching, everytime you act more like a nomad married couple, but you never get a ceremony. Kokushibou would only like something 100% traditional and samurai cultured [just like his human marriage was], but with the timeline, you both being male, you both being demons, none of you having families, money or knowing your ancestors, it's just impossible.
"I don't mind if we stay like this forever, just you and I." He whispers against your embrace one day. This is still good, after all.
Douma:
When you asked Douma permission to court him, he was already taking you him for you to get the blessing. Douma was very interest in what you had to offer, but to be fair, he genuinely though he would kill you or you would cower down, but none of them happened. Once you asked for the blessing he only looked at you both with anger and disgust, and the second his eyes where focused on you only, you could sense a mix of indignation, confusion, pity, disappointment and indecision. At the end he only sighs and told you to get lost and that he is not dealing with it. "Oh, well. He didn't say no. I guess we are courting now, aren't we?" And that is how started.
Douma has a hard time not being the center of attention, so the traditional female role suits him just fine. He likes how often you go to his place and always invites you to stay over. He is very kin in petnames, but to your surprise he likes also more feminine ones, and doesn't mind being called "Princess" or other nicknames specifically adressed for women. "Being called princess feels nice, it's a very pretty way to call someone in a golden cage, stuck in a throne they were born to sit it. I would just adore it if you called me that."
Douma is always way too honest with you, sometimes dumping into you informations and expreriences that are actually traumatizing but he doesn't seem to care. He also likes when you validate his feeling, even the ones he doesn't actually feel. Other times he wants you to go against him, only for the sake that he can do anything he wants and nobody would stop him. You wonder if that is how he expresses freedom, since he already told you he has been all his life inside this cult as a if he was a living Buddha statue.
He is ok with any gift, every gift. No matter what you get him, he never shows preference. There was only two gifts that definetely managed to get through him. Those two you gave him in a desperate attempt for him to show any type of reaction for what you gave him instead of a "Oh, lovely. I will save them in the warehouse so nothing happens to them." It was a broken nichirin blade (now looking like a knife) and wisteria poison the same user of said blade had with them. Douma always carries them with him. "My mother killed my father with a knife, and then she poisoned herself. It was my first encounter with death, these gifts make me nostalgic. My heart never beat so fast before that and I remember wanting to leave but not being able to move. Is that what disgust feels like?" Should you regret giving him that?
It's well known Douma eats woman like a drunk drinks alcohol, so you thought his favorite meal is something that could only be found in a female human body, like the uterus, breast, ovaries, fetuses, unborn babies, placenta or something like that. To your surprise, he likes to eat the heart the most, still full of blood, hopefully, since it's an organ very mild-tasting, but tender. He likes any healthy heart, and getting those is rather easy. He also sometimes likes to eat human food, only for the sake of being able to eat anything he feels like and the sickness it brings. "You would be a good husband, taking care of me like now when I do something fun but stupid. You would stay with me forever after our marriage, wouldn't you?"
In the end, after a year of courting, he sends his followers to prepare the wedding under your guiding, he isn't really part of the process and makes no effort to be so. You end up as his consort inside his cult, the marriage is a peaceful one, but you still try every day to try and make Douma feel hapiness. Still trying. At least you had a great ceremony, expensive and big, with everyone of Douma's followers watching with joy. After the ceremony Douma picked a cult member that fitted the best in your taste and shared him with you. "Now, as a part of me, you should be able to give eternal life to this people, inside of you. Living forever just as they wished from the start, now witnesses of our beautiful love story."
(Also, Douma tried to invite Akaza to the wedding, it didn't work.)
Akaza:
You asked Akaza permission first, he stays paralyzed for straight ten minutes, lost hin his mind with a disturbed face. His first reaction, after he shakes his head, is to tell you you would need his blessing. At first he denies you, but before you manage to leave he tells you he changed his mind. That Akaza is very hardworking and deserves to be spoiled a bit, so you better make him feel good. [Muzan did want to give you to Akaza as a reward, but also as something that would motivate him to get even stronger and work even harder.] "I didn't expect him to... forget it. Just don't get in my way, we need to look for a damn blue spider lily or whatever."
It takes him a while to warm up to you, but even before that he gets protective and doesn't let you out of his sight. He doesn't even care for the fact you are a man, just that you are there and safe. He also seems to like when you call him a certain pet name "my Komainu", you call him because of how protective he is, sometimes you call him "Haku" as it's shorter. He seems both sad and happy at the same time when you do. He even has told you he likes it more than his own name, for some reason.
He is bad taking gifts, for some reason he always worries too much about the price or starts to fret if they were stolen. "Just sto doing that! It's not like I need anything, it's just some stuff. You are only causing trouble, running around and stealing like that will only make you lose your hands! And he will kill himself!" Sometimes he says things that don't make sense even to himself, but he worries a lot. Still, you know he likes pink and snowflake patterns. So you try to make your own gifts with those traits, he keeps everything close, tidi and clean.
Akaza is very vocal in not eating women, small children (he can eat teens), nor sick people. While he likes to kill weak and coward people, he is not fond on eating them. He likes to eat slayers and swordsmen, so it's a bit hard for you to get the meals he likes without dying at the process, but you manage. He is a very messy eater, he destroys more of the body than he eats, but spends a good time doing so. It's like he hates the food, likes the taste and, as any other demon, loves to eat. Still, he prefers relying on training than in eating.
"You are not a bad guy yourself, thank you for... taking care of me. Taking me in." You train with him amd try to adapt to his eating paterns, in result, you get stronger. No way near to an Upper Moon level, and definetely not as fast and efficient as eating woman would be, but you are very strong. Plus, you manage to catch a Marechi with the traits Akaza likes twice or thrice in the courting years, which helped. "You are every day stronger and helthier, make sure to take care of yourself. I will still protect you, but don't do anything stupid."
You spent five years courting him, Akaza was very hesitant on accepting to marry you. "It's not that I don't love you, Y/N. I would love to be your husband, that you vould be my husband but... but you will die! I don't know why or how but you will die amd it will be my fault! I won't be able to protect you!" He rambles, clearly distressed, the first time you ask him, you have to embrace him and cuddle him for around a week. It takes a lot of time, but you manage to reassure him everything will be ok.
You both prepare the wedding, slowly, very slowly, even with the limited resources. You make sure to listen what he wants. A ceremony on winter, under the snow, with fireworks at the end, at an specific town, a small event, and then to go home. He gets scared and needs a pause for every preparation you make and item you steal, but you don't mind waiting. You managed to fool a young buddhist to marry you both, it was a beautiful ceremony. Akaza cried during it, then spend the rest of the month cuddling and crying with you. "Please don't die, don't die. I beg you, stay with me. Don't die, don't fucking die on me. Please."
You keep taking care of him after you get married, and he stills hugs you everytime as if you would die the moment he lets you go. Sooner or later he will realize nothing will happen to you, but for now you must be ready to comfort him and calm him down.
(Also, the second Douma found out Akaza was married and he wasn't invited, he decided to make a second wedding by himself ans his followers, forced you into it so he could be in it.)
Nakime:
How did you even get here? Like, again? The second you asked permission to court her she threw you out of the Infinity Castle, only to bring you back with her and him in less than a day later. Guess what, you've got the permission, the blessing and even an order from him. How? Why? No idea. [Yes idea. Have you seen Nakime's blood art? Also the fact she dislikes men in general and Muzan, who may disguise as much as he wants but is still a HE, forces her to welcome them in her home? She is too important to lose, so your job is to make like you enough so if she wants to rebel he can have something on her that would not kill her.] But who are you to say no to him, even with Nakime glaring dagger towards you.
The first weeks everytime you try to speak to her she sends you somewhere else. You are lucky that because of his orders, she doesn't throw you at the sun or starve you. It takes you a year for her to stop toying around with you.
Even before that you were getting her gifts and food. You did the basics, get her biwa strings and other materials sl she can take care of the instrument. [She doesn't really need them since her biwa is part of her blood art, it maintain itself, but she liked the gesture and the attention]. She also likes kimono's, she kept most of what you got her, some of them were not of her liking, but besides that, the feeling of filling a wardrobe made feel wealthy, but you have seen her wearing them. She is not a person of jewelry, but she kept a few of the ones you got her, mostly the ones for her hair. Every once in a while you find with one of those with part of her hair pulled up.
Her diet are mostly men, drunk men to be more clear. It's a weird taste since the slcohol tends to ruin the blood, and it's even more weird that she actually likes the lungs and vocal cords, but you don't comment on it. You had to ask him for this information since you never once saw her eat before you.
"I appreciate the gifts." It was the first time she said to you two years after you asked permission to court her. She was never the one to hold long conversations, and you were not the exception, but she did like to play and sing for you. You always show interest in her music, and she likes the positive attention. She likes when you call her nicknames related to music. "Dear melody" "My artist" and "Beats" are names she react positively.
It took you three teats for her to finally accept you, but she was hesitant. "I do warn you, if you change your attitude and become a deadbeat husband I will confine you into an endless corridor of my domain for you to starve until you kill yourselve." You swear the besides singing you never heard her voice say so many things in less than hours of difference. She is serious.
Still, you let her handle the ceremony the way she liked it as you got the priest and another kimono for her. For your surprise, not only the halls were decorated, but he would assist as well with his favorite Uppermoons. Nakime was not as pleased with their presence, but she wanted him there on this special night.
It went well to both of you and you started to stay with her at her domain, you kept doing gestures for her and helped in everything you could. She is happy with that.
Gyokko:
You ask Gyokko permission first, he only allows it because, of course you are enamored by him! Who in their sane mind wouldn't? If you want to show appreciation, then who is he to deny you? He will let you court him, but warning. One mistake and you're out.
When you asked him for the blessing, he looked at you for seconds as if you said both the most stupid yet interesting question one could ask. After a few seconds he decided that it wasn't his business and told you to do as you pleased. Gyokko was a bit offended by this but there wasn't anything anyone could do.
As for gifts, Gyokko likes art in general, so you could get him pieces or material for his pots. He appreciates it very much, since you show attention to his interests. "Oh, Y/N! You've got such a good taste! I may consider you as a husband later on, such a beautiful pigments, and you say they are foreign! I don't care if you stole them or buyed them, but I would love if you got me~" And to your surprise, his favorite art collection is actually the Thirty-six Views of Mount Fuji fron Hokusai. "Stamping is, in my humble opinion as an artist, crass. But still, the motive is beautiful and has a very nice display of perspective." You get him the 46 prints.
Gyokko is very picky with his food, he only ever eats people with soft and tender skin and flesh, healthy organs, a clean body and a a face that's at least easy on the eyes. "Appearances help the appetite!" he explained the last point. But to be honest all of these traits together are easier to fing in young women and children, and he prefers the last one. Gyokko hates children, with his soul. Another dead child instantly makes his day better, so he gets very happy if you get him some to eat.
He hates nicknames, but he likes to use them. He also starts making you pots and sharing his food for you before the year ends, enamored by your accommodating attitude towards him. He also loves when you touch and massage his body, specially his scales in his last form. He loves that he is able to relax with you. "Oh, darling. Who would have though a beauty like me could fall for someone like you... no offense."
The moment you ask for his hand he jumps at the chance to design his own wedding, not letting you choose anything but still expecting you to help. Still, in arts and decoration he got good taste, so uou trust his judgement. It was a big event he filled with his summounings, javing the sits full. He made his sadistic art of joining men in a pot with some priests, who were the ones who married you.
"I bet you are very happy to be married to me, dear husband. You've got very lucky. I hope you keep amusing me as always~" It's good, he is still the center of attention. But you are both ok like that, besides you also keep getting presents from him and starts teaching you how to make pots. Also got you a grand honeymoon in the Tokashiki Island with his pots, in the Aharen beach, so no complaining.
[Keep him away from the children, please.]
Bonus: Gifts for the child
Kaigaku is still new at being a demon, he likes to collect things that remind him to his human life. Don't misunderstand, he is proud of his new strength and the fact he survived the Upper Moon One after just becoming a slayer, but he didn't ask to become a demon, it was just that the options were dying or that. He likes specially peach seeds, nichirin blades and cheap haoris. As for meals, he likes to eat young people, hopefully weak and male.
#kny headcanons#top reader#kny x reader#demon slayer#kny#upper moons#kokushibou#akaza#douma#gyokko#nakime#kaigaku#male reader#courting
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hiiii hope ur having a good day there, if ur requests are open, can i request suguru (suguru after premature death) with non sorcerer reader, she thought he saved her but he just wanted to get a curse from her, but then he falls for her
basically geto falling for ‘monkey’ reader ^^^ and him having an(other) existential crisis,
hope this makes sense T.T and thank u!! <3
Geto. S. - Cursed
Pairing: Geto Suguru x Reader
SORRY FOR THE WAIT ☹️☹️ If this wasn't what u were looking for (which i feel it isnt) message me again and i'll do it again, 🙏🙏
Cw: angst-ish to fluff, Mentions of murder, mental health, FEMreader, Mimiko and Nanako, a lot of monkey calling, domestic suguru
Wc: 1.6k
Description: You're cursed and Suguru wants it. Suguru having internal conflict
BEFORE YOU READ: this doesnt pertain to the story but i swearrrrr in the gojo x reader following a lot of spam has been posted please dont forget to report it
“If you’re trying to enter the building, you have to go through the back.”
Your voice is bland, tired, uninterested.. Suguru can go on and on about the monkey’s voice in front of him. He was still staring at you, though his line of vision was more like what was beside you, something that you couldn’t see. You were leaning onto a fence in an alleyway that connected your office building to the next one over, elbow and forearm holding your balance.
He stays unchanging, smiling while staring you down. It was seemingly innocent, with a hint of menacing. Suguru wanted to kill you, he thought about it really hard; The guy had been watching you for weeks now.
It was hard to not notice the curse attached to you, any sorcerer could feel its cursed energy from all of Japan. It was intense, and rightfully so.
This was a special grade, and he had to be the one to have it.
You never even glanced at him, a burning cigarette in between your lips. Hey, maybe you’d get murdered by some handsome weirdo.. that wouldn’t be so bad, right?
“Hey, if you’re going to kill me can you hurry up with it.”
Again, your voice is so tired.
This time, you finally turn your head to face him, and he finds his smile faltering. So similar to his when he was younger. Defeated, tired, and no one knew.
No one cared to find out further, and who could he even talk to? Shoko was out practicing her Reversal Cursed Technique, his juniors were still experiencing the world, and Satoru has become the strongest on his own.
So he was on his own, until he finally broke.
But, you were a monkey. What would you know about hard work. What would you know about sacrifice?
Afterall, you’re just a monkey.
Yet, he finds himself faltering. He just couldn’t kill you, and the curse beside you began pulsating. Not to mention the fact that you never questioned his monk attire.
“What,” he stutters, throat going dry. His voice is cracking, so he pauses , licking his lips before resuming. Was is always this hard to talk with a monkey? “What’s your name?” He asked you.
Your eyes inspected him, and he takes note that you haven't puffed the cigarette yet.
“You gonna smoke that?”
He doesn't know why, but the anger wells up inside of him once more. Maybe the two of you weren’t so similar after all. Smoking was something he did to cope, and now look at you, doing it for show.
“I don’t wanna smoke when someone’s talking to me, ‘s rude..” you slur, pulling out the half burned cig and pressing it down on the ash tray.
He feels his heart pang, and a mixture of emotions flood through him. How unusual, he’s never felt like this before, not even in his Highschool years.
“It’s (L/N), (Y/N). By the way.” You inform, the last but coming out weakly in whisper.
“Is that so?” He mumbles, watching you fumble into your jacket, pulling out a half empty box and flicking it open. You extend your arm out, holding the box open, and he feels his world become distorted.
Almost like a lullaby, feeling like a kid again. The world he sees is full of color, then dark, only in black and white, then nothing at all, and now he’a seeing you, the only thing with color in this monkey-ridden world. And now, back to all black and white, execpt you, now full of color.
He wonders if this has something to due with the curse on you. It’s hugging you hightly, like a snake. It’s thin, hugging your breasts, wrapped around your neck, ready to kill you, but he doesn’t want that.
Suguru blinks, time resuming as normal as he utters a thanks, taking it and using the lighter you hand out right after.
“I haven’t smoked since I was a teenager,” he confesses, and he doesn’t know why he felt the need to say that, to a monkey at that.
“Really? How’d you stop?” You ask, genuinely curious. You’d been trying to quit for years, but with the things life has been throwing at you, you think you’d end up smoking yourself to death.
Suguru glances around, thinking hard, “I decided to do what I wanted to do.” And it’s true, he decided to follow his heart and exterminate monkeys for a living. It brings him joy.
“And what’s that?” You ask him, fully intrigued with he’s talking about. He gulps, staring down at you, biting his tongue he furrows his eyebrows ag you. The damn curse, it’s doing this to him.
He grabs your wrist, staring at you darkly, and you think this is where he’ll kill you.
But he doesn't.
He covers your eyes with his large palm, and it’s unusually calloused, more than the average worker. He does it gently, despite his dark expression. Your line of sight is completely darkened, and suddenly, you feel weightless.
He didn’t kill you— he wouldn’t kill you.
“Ge— Suguru. Suguru, could you help me here?” You call him from the bedroom.
He’s 22 years old and has been living with you for two. Peering his head in, he watches you struggle in holding the matress cover down to pull it over on the other side.
“It won’t stay!” You groan, watching the other side pop out. He chuckles, walking to the opposite corner of the bed and pulling it down under it.
It feels oddly domestic when he’s with you.
When the four of you hang out, you holding the girls hands while he walks behind you three, it feels like he’s with his family.
Though sometimes he feels like he sees Satoru—
“Suguru?” You call him, your face close to his own. He catches himself holding his breath when you near, ‘monkey’ he finds his mind calling you.
His hands go to your cheeks, thumbs stroking your cheeks. Your lips part, observing his solemn facial expression. His eyes seem so.. so lonely. “What’s wrong?”
His rough hands trail down your face now, loosely around your neck. Thumb stroking your throat, applying small pressure. “I could kill you right now.” He mumbles, and the voice in his head is shouting at him, manipulating him.
All monkeys.
That’s right. When did he stray so far off from his goal? When did he stop trying to fulfill his dream?
The perfect world he was going to create, just for sorcerers. A world where his best friend didn’t have to work like a dog, a work where they could just be people. A world where peace was the only way.
It was probably when he met you.
“But you won't. Well, I hope you won't!” You chuckle sheepishly. Your fingers taking his from your neck, holding them to your lips. “You saved me in ways that you could never even imagine.” You murmur, his half lidded eyes staring down at you, at that curse he still hasn't stolen.
He didn’t save you. He stole you. Suguru Geto is a selfish man, and no better than Gojo, he’ll do whatever he can to have something. That something is you.
The curse doesn't matter to him anymore, he just wants you. He wants to rid you of this curse that hangs on you.
He’s tried, but it seems to be feeding off of you. He would have to kill you to get it, but he can't, he won't, he refuses.
He finds the words slipping out of his mouth, he can't control himself anymore.
“I love you.”
You blink, eyes wide as you replay his words.
Those three words.
“Ah..”
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” he confesses, enveloping you in a hug. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to feel that he’s crying. The way his large back trembles in your hold. “It’s alright, don’t cry now.” You whisper, stroking his hair. “I love you very much.”
Your voice feels so quiet, and you don't think your words even reached him but when he squeezes you, pulling you even closer to him, trying to become one, you know he got it.
“Thank you, Suguru.” You thank gratefully, chin on his shoulder. “Thank you for giving me a family, thank you for giving me somewhere to belong.”
“Thank you.”
You don't even remember how the two of you ended up on the floor, holding each other while the bed stays unmade. A single pillow the both of you shared while snoozing on the ground.
Nanako and Mimiko peer into the room, heads poking in to see your laying figures. How scared they got when they grew near, thinking something happened to the two of you. But when they see your chests rise and fall, they rest easy.
Though, their gazes stayed more with your figure. Your curse was gone, no longer attached to you.
Nanako grabs her phone, a limited one only for phone calls and photos(given to her by Suguru) and snaps a couple photos of you, some serious, and some zoomed in on your faces.
Mimiko returns back, dragging a blanket from the couch and draping it over the two of you, giving you both a kiss on the cheek.
“C’mon, Nana.” Mimiko says, taking hold of her twin's hand and walking out the dimly lit room.
They should be the one’s thanking the two of you, for giving them parents that they never had.
#geto x y/n#geto suguru x y/n#geto suguru x you#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#jujutsu geto#getou suguru#geto suguru#getou x reader#suguru x you#suguru x reader#jjk suguru#getou suguru x you#geto suguru x reader#domestic suguru
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ATLA SKZ AU
pairings:
minsung (forbidden lovers)
hyunlix (lix fell first, hyun fell harder)
binchan (rivals to lovers)
seungin (childhood friends to lovers)
avatar:
felix (originally a waterbender)
felix learns the bending of elements in this order: water, air, water again (healing), earth, fire
the order felix meets the members in: seungmin and jeongin, han, chan and changbin, hyunjin and minho
airbenders:
jeongin and seungmin
jeongin and seungmin were trained as monks together and are always together. they love to pull pranks on the higher ups with their airbending, and their flying air bison is def named pocchako, i dont make the rules! seungmin and jeongin both have their marks, but sadly their air temple is attacked during one of their sparring sessions and they're forced to relocate to the closest air temple. on their way, they run into felix and decide to aid him on his journey to master all of the elements instead of relocating. felix then learns airbending from them.
earthbenders:
changbin and chan
changbin and chan are both earthbenders, but chan has experience with metalbending and sandbending as well. they're both generals in the earth kingdom and like to show off to each other. one day on a patrol, changbin's unit is attacked by firebenders. chan receives the distress call and leaves his post to make sure he's okay and to provide aid. however, the firebenders attacking changbin's unit were a distraction. after chan leaves his post, the earth kingdom is infiltrated. when chan arrives to changbin's unit, he sees changbin is the only one left alive. both injured, they return to the kingdom and realize they'd fallen for the fire nation's tricks. the earth kingdom deems them traitors, and banishes them. after felix has learned airbending from jeongin and seungmin and how to heal with his waterbending from han, the four of them on their way to the earth kingdom discover injured changbin and chan. they set up camp nearby the kingdom so that felix and han can nurse both generals back to health. changbin ended up with burns on his wrists, so chan bends a pair of metal braces for him to wear.
waterbenders:
han and felix (prior to learning hes the avatar)
han and felix are pen pals from the northern and southern water tribe. they used to send letters to each other all the time, complaining about orders and the fire kingdom. when felix learned he was the avatar, he was whisked away to begin training, and han had no clue. felix's last letter was supposed to be sent to inform han, but the elders of the southern water tribe intercepted his letter and destroyed it, believing that hiding felix's identity and status as the avatar would help him keep a clearer mind to focus on his training.
han's waterbending is more healing focused, as he learned more with the women than the men of his tribe because they didnt believe him to be a good fighter. felix was a gifted martial artist at a young age, and so his waterbending was more combat focused than healing. later on when felix, seungmin, and jeongin visit the northern water tribe, they meet han for the first time (although han is pissed bc he thought felix died to the fire nation and mourned his death). reluctantly, han teaches felix how to use his waterbending for healing. han ended up learning bloodbending like katara at some point before felix arrives bc they manipulated his fear of the fire nation/his fear of felix's "death" against him and made him believe he needed to learn it, but remembering that time brings him great anxiety so he swears to never use it unless there's no other choice. after felix defends the northern water tribe in the avatar state (very badly because he cant control it yet) han decides to join felix, seungmin, and jeongin, because the tribe believes felix needs to be kept in check during his journey.
firebenders:
hyunjin and minho
def getting azula and zuko vibes from them. hyunjin is the younger brother and more of a show off, but minho is the older and more powerful sibling. hyunjin works as a dancer in the circus (like ty lee) because the firelord doesnt expect anything from him (;C) meanwhile minho is the firelord's apprentice and is forced to carry his bidding and prove himself time and time again. he wishes to join his brother in the circus and dance freely with his fire, but his fire is forced to be a weapon. on the way to the firenation, felix and his gaang (see what i did there) seungmin, jeongin, han, changbin, and chan, end up attending the travelling circus, which hyunjin is a part of. felix ends up falling in love with hyunjin's dance and talent, and decides he wants to learn firebending from him. however, before he can get to hyunjin after the circus performances end, hyunjin is kidnapped by a group of rebels against the firenation. they learned of his true identity as the second son of the firelord, and aim to ransom him so that the firelord will end the war. when the firelord hears of this, he cares very little about hyunjin's life. minho, however, burns with anger and defies his father's wishes in order to go save his brother. while minho travels to the location the rebels sent, felix and his gaang are also on the hunt for hyunjin. changbin and chan are EXTREMELY against it, especially after their traumatic experiences with the fire nation. han is also deeply against it, and starts having more nightmares about bloodbending and having to use it to protect felix and the others. however, seungmin and jeongin explain the teachings they received from the monks, and that a single bender is not at the faults of his nation, nor his family. reluctantly, changbin and chan give in. as the oldest, they still worry greatly about the entire group and are on high alert the whole time. meanwhile, han continues to struggle mentally. at some point, he leaves their camp and goes far away to practice his bending to clear his mind. unknowingly, minho watches from afar, mesmerized with the beauty of han's bending a while, before it starts to remind him of the beauty in hyunjin's dancing. he misses his brother, and he misses home, even if he hates their father. han ends up noticing minho first and starts freaking out, not even able to scream because hes in so much terror. minho ends up standing at a safe distance and calming him down, before being honest and introducing himself while sharing his intentions. after learning that minho just wants to save his brother and doesnt believe in continuing the war, han calms down and explains he and the gaang's intentions as well. after realizing the avatar himself AND his group of exceptional benders wants to save his brother, even though hes the second son of the firelord, minho is deeply moved. he pledges to aid them, but when han and minho return to camp, everyone is gone. realizing the rebels must've found their camp, minho and han follow their tracks to go and save everyone.
OK IF ANYONE ACTUALLY LIKES THIS SHIT I MIGHT CONTINUE BECAUSE I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS AHAHAHAHAH
#jae talks about shit#stray kids#skz#seo changbin#changbin#bang chan#skz changbin#skz felix#skz hyunjin#skz chan#skz au#skz imagines#skz bang chan#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#lee felix#felix#seungmin#skz seungmin#hanskz han#skz han#han jisung#skz jisung#lee minho#lee know#skz lee know#i.n#skz i.n#skz jeongin#kim seungmin
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prince!toji x imperial concubine!reader
a/n: Part 3 of my drabble series is finished!! I'm not a Toji simp but writing him was a surprisingly easy process. And for the love of god I just can't finish Gojo it's so hard to handle him in this specific setting.
Sorry Toji girlies but I just can't imagine him as an emperor in the AU, but being a disgraced prince goes sooo well with his character. Hope you'll enjoy this part as much as I did while working on it!
Likes and reblogs are still appreciated <33
wc: 1060, I got carried away with the exposition
cw: Toji is a dick, smut, period accurate euphemism for an orgasm, angsty ending
credits: My one and only @notveryrussian did the proofreading again, thank u darl <33
MDNI, if you do, I'm gonna block you so hard you'll feel it in your next life
When an emperor dies, his mandate dies with him. The death of a god can shake the whole realm, it shakes the whole family. Anomalies start to happen because heaven’s throne shouldn’t stay vacant for long.
Toji almost lost the last bit of his sanity when he was summoned to the capital. It’s sickening that the court wanted him to go back to the palace and pay his respects to the recently deceased Naobito. Another blow to his already wounded pride. They want him to venerate the uncle who cast him out of the family, who banished him to a rural town to live in conditions so unfitting for his rank, with no support on top of all of that. Luckily, he’s familiar with many shortcuts to easy money.
The embalmed corpse of the late emperor is his only delight. The spacious halls and courtyards of the palaces, the carvings, the decorative paintings, thangkas, the ginormous, lush gardens made him yearn for that small house he was sent to. This place just wasn’t home anymore. Those related to him weren’t family anymore. They get through with the funeral rites, the relatives and the officials will settle the line of succession, and then he’ll leave, he has no other reason to stay here. He has no hopes to be chosen as emperor. Naobito and Jinichi already did so much damage to his name. Maybe the rest of the family just want something to gossip about for a few years, that’s why they called him back.
It’s all so tiring. The vigils, the march to the tomb, the prayers the monks recite, the offerings. He has nothing to give, not even an incense stick or a plate of fruits. He endures the rites in silence, he has no pleasant memories to reflect upon or kind words to say about him much to his cousins’ dismay. He wants to tear everything to pieces, burn the whole city down and piss on the ruins because that’s what Naobito always deserved.
After the funeral, the whole palace descends into chaos. Naobito failed to appoint an heir, every one of his kids has an equal chance to inherit the throne and the whole court sits in the Hall of Mental Cultivation to argue about the distribution of wealth, the army, and the provinces between the family. They’re like jackals, bickering over the meat on a rotten corpse.
Before he planned to sneak into the Hall of Three Rarities to look at (and maybe steal) some of the relics, the issue of the concubines was brought up.
You’re a lovely little bunch. Naobito wasn’t a man known for his gentleness, the mutual torment made you stick together, support each other. Just the thought of it makes his cold heart fill with a strange kind of comfort. You’re all so lost, having no idea what will happen to you, who will have ownership over you. You out of all of them pray every night that Naoya will never be crowned emperor. You’d rather escape, beg for money and crumbs of dry bread on the streets before you’d let him touch you.
Maybe your prejudice towards the royal family and your gut feeling was wrong this time. He’s not like any other member of his family. He’s rough around the edges but treats you all with an odd form of kindness. You and the other concubines soon grew to like his company. They await him during leisure time to serve him tea, sing to him, you even dusted off your guzheng to play an ancient melody. With each passing day, the concubines are glowing more and more, melting in his presence. He has them wrapped around his fingers and you start thinking about whether you’re an exception or not.
It’s too late to realize that you’re not.
You walk back to the Palace of Eternal Harmony together after you picked some plums in the gardens. You’re not suspecting anything. It’s already dusk, he just wants to protect you, right? He notices your hairpin, an exquisite and costly thing with dangling pearls and jewels embedded into the flower petals shaped with gold. Naobito must have liked you, he says. You shake your head and confess that you weren’t a particular favorite of his. He has seen you only for a few nights, and you don’t know how but he manages to get all the details out of you. He’s not surprised that Naobito didn’t care about your pleasure, or if he’d caused you any pain and then just threw you away like a used toy.
What a perfect match, a disgraced nephew and an unfavored concubine.
He doesn’t care about the rules in the concubine’s quarters, he lets himself into your small room. You serve him the plums just to hide your own flusteredness. He splits the fruit in half with ease and offers it back to you, handfeeding you. Drips of sweet juice stream down on your chin. There’s depravity and starvation in your eyes. Poor soul, maybe even you can’t remember the last time you were touched. He pities you.
He’s so unlike Naobito.
He has the patience to prepare you, gives you time to adjust to him. This is your first time laying on your back, belly up, every inch of you revealed to him. It makes you feel vulnerable but at least he’s looking at you. Right in the face as your features distort in pleasure. You finally experience what the older consorts called “cloud and rain”. A nice name, you think, but it’s not the right idiom to describe what you’re feeling. It’s like ascension to another plane of existence. A rumble. Rippling warmth. Overflowing joy.
You’re too absorbed in the afterglow to notice how cold he is. The sweat sticking to his skin, the tips of his fingers, everything is so cold about him. But maybe you can warm his heart up. If only he would take you with him after the succession crisis is solved. Get away from this horrid place, let you two finally heal.
But when you wake up he’s gone. He has taken your hairpin, maybe as a memento or to put a price tag on it. The only thing that remains is his seed inside of you. You feel ruined, just like he intended with everything Naobito ever owned.
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