#got lost in the sauce that my friend had to text me for me to remember i have CLASS
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hey u know how mk only calls wukong by his title and never his name? and how wukong rarely if ever calls mk "mk," instead usually opting for "kid" or "bud?" and how both of those things are kind of representative of their relationship and how both of them care about each other a lot but they aren't honest with each other or with themselves about the other and how neither of them really wants to confront the fact that the other is a person with flaws and struggles? haha yeah <- normal <- lying about being normal
be glad i have been released from class now :) [narrator: she would later find herself late to her 2nd class while writing this]
so happy you have given me this excuse to talk about— i mean, yes! it is super normal to be thinking about this all the time and be comsumed by it and let me explain why:
i will start by going off on a tangent about names and labels and their narratove importance in stories because i love them and have a problem. (idk the word count here. viewer discretion is advized. i just wrote. it is long. beware)
In the Case of Names: a Sunburst Duo Essay
by Yours Truly <3
In the Case of Names in LMK: a Summary (please for the love of pete be a summary)
Ok, so, let me give y'all a quick overview (i failed. this is you're only warning. i failed, and this became a monster of an essay. run while you still have the chan—) of names in the literary sense. When studying novels and books and shit in your literature classes, you will notice that your professor might discuss the importance or ill-importance of characters' names in the story. For example: in the classic novel Fahrenheit 451, the protagonist's name is fucking Guy Montage to illustrate how he's just some fucking guy, a John Doe, a man stuck and complicit in the dystopian world.
You get me? No? Sorry, you want more examples? Fine then :3 let me introduce you to a story called Hard Times by Charles Dickens. It is an allegorical novel that criticized the utilitarian movement going on in dear old Great Britain in the 19th century thanks to the Industrial Revolution. Some fun characters were Johannes Bounderby and Thomas Gradgrind. Tell me, what images did you imagine when I gave you those names? Did you think of a bouncing ball for Bounderby? Were you imagining something square or maybe a mechanical grinder for Mr. Gradgrind?
Remarkable isn't it. The way choosing a name has on a reader/audience's perception of the character. Names are not just placeholders for a character. Names are the identity of that character. Names can establish their starting arc or their ending. Names can be visual in the sense that they invoke a strong idea of what a character might resemble or what themes they will present the audience with. Removing a character's name also removes their identity.
Remember that.
Anyway, I have talked enough about names in the general literary sense. Let us move on to LMK.
Given that this show is based off of Journey to the West (JTTW), many of the names of the antagonist are already provided, and their English translation is pretty literal (Demon Bull King, Lady Bone Demon, Red Son) with some exceptions (Jing & Yin, the Gold and Silver Demons), but their names all provide a description of what they are and how they should be viewed. Spider Queen is a spider demon and views herself as queen. Pretty solid characterization there. Lady Bone Demon, she's a bone demon and has enough rank to be considered a lady (or that could just be to ID that she is a woman but eh). Princess Iron Fan: she's a celestial princess and wields an iron fan. Got it? Good. These examples are simply here to show that a majority of the JTTW antagonists are still fulfilling their roles as antagonistic characters. What I mean is this: since "A Hero is Born," MK has been fighting against the Monkey King's old enemies from the JTTW book. It's like the moment MK inserted himself into the role of successor, the antagonist themselves were inserted to redo their old role of fighting the "Monkey King." It's almost as if nothing has changed beside the fact that their new op enemy is a "human" wielding the legendary staff.
[hmmmm, wait i actually never put this into words until now and it's fitting very well with the whole "MK's fight against Fate/the Narrative" but we'll just put a pin in that.]
However, when it comes to MK's friends (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Mei), they all share different names from their reincarnated/ancestral counterparts (Zhu Bajie, Tang Sangzang (they just give Tripitaka a last name lol), Sha Wujing, and Ao Lie). Their identity is separate, distinctive from who they are meant to reflect to the audience. (But look at how Tang still shares the same 1st name to the blessed monk, see how he's the one whose powers are the most similar, see how he being pulled into the direction of emulating the monk, see how much Tang fights it, see—)
Fascinating huh? But let us move on before I forget myself.
In the Case of MK's Names: a Paragraph (DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT GO OFF THE RAILS)
So, in the English version, there is a running gag about how MK's "real" name is long and complicated, and we don't actually know it. All we know is that MK switched it long before the pilot. And even before MK has that talk with Master Subodhi in s4ep7 (or 6? 8?), I would chuckle at how on the nose his name was. MK the Monkie Kid... how silly of the show writers....ahaha, what a funny little decision to make :)
Do we know why MK changed his name? Other than his original one being long, no. Do we know why MK specifically? We don't know. Maybe, in his fanboy brain for all things Monkey King, MK thought it would be cool to have a name that identified close to his idol. A name that identified with someone he wished to emulate and be as powerful as and felt so connected to. But what do I know? I am a mere local gal who feeds off of metas and theories and all things relating to my beloved sunburst duo.
Then, we have MK's many titles: Monkie Kid (IDs him as the new generations Monkey), Successor (IDs him as the one who will succeed Sun Wukong in both the title of Monkey King and power), Noodle Boy (pronounced "New-dle Boi and IDs as the boy who works in his surrogate/adopted dad's noodle shop), Delivery Boy (his actual job for the noodle shop), and last but not least, Harbinger of Chaos.
What makes a harbinger? What is chaos? What are their intentions? Are they good? Bad? Neutral?
So, I've already defined harbinger before and many others have as well, but to sum up: a harbinger is a being/person/thing that announced the coming of something be it good or bad but most of the time the focus is bad. A "Harbinger of Chaos" then, would be the one to announce the coming of Chaos™️ and the disruption of world order. Is this a bad thing? Well, the show presents it at the moment as so, but that doesn't mean it will be. Honestly, the show has shown order and fixed structures more in a bad light and promotes free will and choosing a destiny that fits you as the good thing 👀 (another thing to pin in the MK might to go war with Fate)
But now I have established MK's names and must shut up and move on before I no longer can.
In the Case of Sun Wukong's Names: some Paragraphs (STAY ON TARGET PLEASE)
I will admit that my knowledge of names in China is very low, and by low, I mean I know nothing (most of what I do know comes from asking friends and informational sites). So, let me begin this segment with an excerpt of Sun Wukong gaining his name from the book itself :) and break it down with my interpretation and how that is applied to LMK.
When the Patriarch heard this, he was secretly pleased, and said, “Well, evidently you have been created by Heaven and Earth. Get up and show me how you walk.” Snapping erect, the Monkey King scurried around a couple of times. The Patriarch laughed and said, “Though your features are not the most attractive, you do resemble a pignolia-eating monkey (husun). This gives me the idea of taking a surname for you from your appearance. I intended to call you by the name Hu. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what’s left is a compound made up of the two characters, gu and yue. Gu means aged and yue means female, but an aged female cannot reproduce. Therefore, it is better to give you the surname of Sun. If I drop the animal radical from this word, what we have left is the compound of zi and xi. Zi means a boy and xi means a baby, and that name exactly accords with the fundamental Doctrine of the Baby Boy. So your surname will be ‘Sun.’”
When the Monkey King heard this, he was filled with delight. “Splendid! Splendid!” he cried, kowtowing, “At last I know my surname. May the master be even more gracious! Since I have received the surname, let me be given also a personal name..."
..."You will hence be given the religious name ‘Wake-to-the-Void’ (wukong). All right?”
“Splendid! Splendid!” said the Monkey King, laughing. “Henceforth I shall be called Sun Wukong.”
What a fucking cutie <3
So, what can we gather from this excerpt? Sun Wukong just gained his official name. No longer is he a monkey with descriptive titles, no longer is he a monkey without a surname to be referred to as and respected for. He now has both a surname and a personal name. And while I don't fully understand everything Master Subodi listed when naming Sun Wukong, it is important to note the importance of it and how happy Wukong is to receiving it.
Before this, the book would simply refer to Wukong as Shihou (stone monkey) or the Handsome Monkey King. Both of these are descriptive titles that just inform you what Wukong is rather than who, just like with the other demons met in JTTW. But now, we get to know him as Sun Wukong, someone more than his titles and such. There's even an explanation in the preface how Wukong's own personal name has significant meaning or relation to Buddhism, but I won't get too much into that since my knowledge is of that is 0 and I want to try and stick to LMK.
Now then, let us examine Wukong's name in the LMK sense. Literally everyone in the show call him either Monkey King or "simian" (and if he really pissed them off, Sun Wukong). The only people to refer to Wukong by his personal name is Nezha, Macaque, and Peng. It is literally just these three. And while we could argue all say it like "Wukong (derogatory)," I believe Peng's the only one who means it. Meaning, I think Macaque says Wukong because he was the closest friend of SWK, thus that's the only name Macaque would ever call him (sure, he said Monkey King and shit in s1 but that was when he was duping MK soooooooo). Nezha calls him Wukong because after the whole Havoc in Heaven and journey stuff, he is the new oldest member to befriend Wukong and not be enemies with him (yes, he will get annoyed and aggravated by him, and he will not always believe Wukong's intentions are great, but he still cares and is his 2nd closests living friend).
Peng, on the other hand, does not give a shit. I fully believe that guy never cared for Wukong. They only joined the brotherhood because of Azure (they even offered for Azure to be the brotherhood's leader). I do not think Peng cares for formalities when it comes to people they dislike. We could argue that maybe Peng cared for Wukong in the beginning, but I do, honestly, not believe it. The only reason Peng even felt betrayed was because it messed up Azure's plan. Not because the two were sworn brothers.
But yeah, very few characters actually call Sun Wukong by his name, and when they do, it establishes not just how close they are/were, but also how long they've known each other. It's the same thing with how Wukong refers to others. He barely calls Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy by their names. He will give people nicknames and shit just to place a safe distance from them because of his own very unhealthy attachment issues.
In the Case of MK and SWK's Names for Each Other: the Actual Sunburst Duo Essay (you are free now.....)
Speaking of attachment issues, let's talk about the Sunburst Duo and how much these two need to sit down and talk.
So, we have discussed how names are integral to identifying a character's purpose, thematic journey, description. We have discussed how a person's title can clue in on certain characterization, present or future, and how they demonstrate the way others view them. Now let us apply this to our beloved sunburst duo.
As mentioned in your ask, @gumy-shark, both MK and Sun Wukong barely call each other by name (MK never has as far as I am aware, and SWK has done so only a few). It's "Monkey King" from MK and "kid," "bud," "buddy" from SWK. Rarely do the two ever think to say each other's name.
In the beginning, I originally thought MK only calls Wukong "Monkey King" as a way to be respectful, and with Wukong, I assumed he called MK "kid" simply because MK was very young to him. However, as we get into s3, and especially s4, MK and Wukong have grown a lot closer. Neither of them see each other as just a mentor or student but as friends. And yet, they cannot seem to stop calling each other by their title or nickname.
Thus, the distance is still there. S3 ends with Wukong promising to do better as a mentor and be more honest with MK, and we do seem him attempt this. He gives out more praises, he's more open about his feelings and then gets sucked into the memory scroll. But here's the kicker: the two are doing a reverse in their dynamic.
When it starts out, it is Monkey King who establishes the line between the two. He will simply be MK's mentor and teach him all the kid has to know in order to succeed him. MK is ecstatic to even be near SWK. This is his idol, the guy he's had a special interest in for years probably. He now gets to train under the Monkey King. He wants to do good. He wants to kickass. He wants to be just like him.
But as the story goes on, we see SWK open up to MK more and care for him deeply and want to protect him, and we see MK uncover the skeletons in SWK's closet and feel so alone and learn that the power he used to wish for is not what he expected. And in the aftermath of s3, it is now SWK who is opening up and trying to help kindle and safely guide their friendship in a healthier path(ish). It is SWK who is placing his own protege on a pedestal because "loook at him! isn't he so great and powerful! he will help this world a lot more than i did". It is SWK who is disregarding th original rules he placed. But now ,it is MK who is keeping the distance more than SWK. It is MK is trying to force some kind of distance. He feels like he shouldn't burden SWK with his doubts and worries. He is terrified of his own powers and their capabilities and worries his actions will make the same mistake as his mentor.
With s3 and s4, SWK has called MK by name quite a few times. Especially in s4. It's not a lot, but it's definitely more than before. And yet, MK cannot call Wukong by name. Personally, I think he might still feel like he's under Wukong's shadow. As his successor, there is a legacy that he will carry when Wukong actually retires and gives his title to MK (which is what I assume Wukong will do??? It is still unclear what exactly MK's succeeding SWK of). And that legacy is quite the burden. I would not be surprised that MK is unable to place himself as being worthy of taking Wukong's place just yet (if ever).
This guy was his idol for a long time. And with that, you tend to place a high pedestal for those people. MK has given Wukong such a high pedestal, and Wukong is very aware of it. It's why the guy even keeps his distance in the first place, and why he's scared to disappoint him. But, MK has learned so much, has been told of the tales and pain his mentor inflicted on others in the past (a past SWK greatly regrets), and yet cannot find it in himself to lower that pedestal or even allow himself to think about it. Because if he does, then he will have to acknowledge his own pain and his own disappointment in someone he not only admires but has come to love like family. And it is very hard to reckon with the hurt and pain caused by someone you consider family.
So yeah, they are silly monkeys who cannot communicate to save their life and need to just sit down and talk or else this will continue to boil and explode and we'll have a SWK and MK showdown (fuck yeah! i will be crying so hard).
[end of essay]
#was late to my next class because of this#got lost in the sauce that my friend had to text me for me to remember i have CLASS#sigh#hope you enjoyed my scholarly account on names and how they pertain to the sunburst duo#also barely anyone even refers to Tripitaka by name#it's always 'the monk this' or 'the monk that' he only gets called by name if someone is being very formal about it#LITERALLY TRIPITAKA ISN'T EVEN CALLED TRIPITAKA AND IDK WHY#WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUT LMK EXPLAIN#EXPLAIN YOURSELF#WHY IS TANG'S ANCESTOR BARELY REFERRED TO BY NAME#anyway#there you go#hope you're happy#i used all my brain energy for this#this took me 2 hours to write in total#and that was simply because i chose not to include screencaps from the show itself out of self restraint#lmk#lmk analysis#lmk sunburst duo#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian#sunburst duo#asks#read more#long post
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Hiiiii
I love love love your writing and i was wondering if you could write something about jj x reader and reader is very easily exciteable ( like scatterbrain adhd) and talks alot and slowly Kie gets more and more irritated with reader and then she finally snaps and screams how reader is so annoying? And the boys are gobsmacked and JJ especially. I promise i dont have anything personal against Kie i love her but i dont think she would like me very much lmao😭😭
Thank you sm🤭🫶
Thank you so much my baby starfish, you're so sweet to me <3
This started really strong, then I got a lil lost in the sauce, so here you have 3.6k of JJ x Reader. I hope you like it 💖💖💖 r loves dinosaurs
CWs: Swearing, yelling, Kiara being mean, John B's dad is alive because I just can't hurt that poor boy but he's only mentioned once
JJ liked getting her alone. Every chance he could, getting them away from their respective friend groups, with their prying eyes and loud opinions. It was his favorite place to be, alone, with her. They’d been together for a solid while, getting together right before spring break. The pogues wondered where he’d been the whole week, after too many unanswered texts blowing up the group chat he gave in…and told them he was holed up at home, hotboxing his bedroom for the foreseeable future. Not that it was entirely a lie, it just wasn’t entirely true either.
He introduced her to the rest of them at the beginning of the summer, a little reluctantly since they’d planned a date but forgot to actually plan anything. So with no other option, since JJ had no food in his house and y/n’s a/c broke, they went to the Wreck.
Unfortunately for JJ, Kiara was working and Pope and John B had just gotten back from helping Mr. Hayward with something or another. JJ entirely forgot both of these things and only just remembered as he saw the Twinkie in the parking lot. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” She pulled his helmet off of her head but didn’t get off the bike yet.
“All my friends are here.”
“That’s a bad thing? I’ve met them all before.” She had; she helped John B pass his last Spanish test and was in a study group with Pope for their Civics class. Kiara knew her from Biology, she’d stay after every class to talk with their teacher about everything but what they just discussed in class.
“Yeah, but they’ve never met you as my…” he trailed off and she slid herself under his arm, putting herself in front of him, tossing her legs over his and leaning back on the handlebar between his arms.
“You can say girlfriend.” He fixed her helmet hair in a lame attempt to distract her from his shy smile. She scrunched her nose at the tickle of his calloused fingertips against her skin. “Oh right, you can’t say it without blushing.”
“Hell yeah I can.” He kept his hands on her cheeks and moved both of their heads in opposite directions to keep the sun out of her eyes.
“Say it then, Pretty,” she put her face real close to his with his hands stuck to her cheeks, nudging his nose once so he’d look up and she could kiss right under his jaw. She leaned back just slightly and held his forearms. “Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend,” one kiss to her forehead, “girlfriend,” another to her nose, “firlgriend,” a final one to her lips. Not quite a kiss since she was smiling so hard at his mistake.
“What?”
“You made me mess up, that was not my fault.”
“How did I make you mess up?”
“By being so damn cute.” He started kissing all over her face, her neck, her collarbones.
“That’s what got you?”
“You always get me.”
“You trying to put the moves on me, Maybank?” She pulled him back up from her neck by a tug to his hair.
“Depends, is it working, l/n?”
“Are you trying to distract me so we can go somewhere else knowing full well that there is nowhere else?”
He let his head fall back against her clavicle with a long, exaggerated groan. “So it’s not working?”
“No, sorry,” she tilted her head to the side with faux sympathy, he thought she looked like a puppy. “Please? I’m starving.” He braced his hands behind himself so he could lean back and give her room to swing her leg over. He followed it with his eyes with no shame, to which she could only scoff a laugh.
When he finally regained his composure, “Can’t have my firlgriend starving, now could I darlin’?”
“I’m sending you back. I don’t even remember where I got you but I’d like a refresher on the return policy.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha. You’re really hilarious. I swear, you should take it on the road or somethin.” He said in a single tone. They started walking into the restaurant and he still held out his hand to her.
She laid her head on his shoulder just before they made it to the door. “But you love me?”
“Fuck yeah I love you.” He turned to kiss her head but it was more his cheek to her head and a kiss to the air above it. She loved it just the same.
“Good, I love you too.” She kissed his shoulder and was glad the heat permitted such skin to show, no sleeves in the way of her boy’s skin.
“Alright, come on.” He almost dragged her into the restaurant but it was more of a rush to get himself in there.
Kiara was at the hostess stand and smiled when she saw him, the corner of her lip twitched twice when he saw who he was with, once at the hand he was holding and again at the girl it was attached to. Yet she still recovered quickly and kept up the perfect customer service act. “Hey Kie, how’s today been? Yeah? You know what I’d love, is if you could uh, get us a table at the back, kinda quickly?”
“What’s the rush, Jay?” She gathered two menus and started guiding them back.
“Don’t worry about it. Just-please?”
“M-hmm.” She sat them at a dimly lit table in the back corner and JJ helped y/n up into the continuous booth with the circular table. She thanked him with a smile and he slid in next to her, resting a hand on her thigh, warm skin under his rough touch.
“Thank you,” y/n smiled brightly at Kiara and picked up her menu. Kiara gave JJ a look that she couldn’t see with the menu in front of his face What are you doing? He returned it with a grave look, Let me have my last 10 minutes with her to myself in peace.
“Martha will be right over with your waters.”
JJ nodded and Kiara got the hint finally.
John B and Pope came out of the kitchen with their little trays of free food. “We heard JJ’s bike pull up. He here?” Pope tossed a thumb over his shoulder to the dining area.
“Yeah, actually-” they started walking away to go find him but she pulled them back by their shirt collars. “But, I think he’s on a date.”
“A date?” John B asked.
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like him. You sure we’re talking about the same guy?” Pope held up a hand to approximately JJ’s height. “Yea tall, perpetually sweaty, doesn’t own a single sleeve in his whole wardrobe, different day different girl, JJ?”
“That’s the one. He’s in the back…Waaaaiit, wait wait. Don’t go yet, let them at least get their waters first.”
“Who’s he with?”
“Do we know her?”
“I don’t know if you do. I had biology with her. Y/n? L/n?”
Both of their jaws went slack. John B nearly dropped his fries. “Her?”
“You’re kidding.”
“Like she’d ever go for him, she’s too…” John B shook his hand thinking the words would come to him.
“Nice, kind, morally upright?” Pope offered.
“Annoying?”
“No. When has she ever been annoying?”
“In bio, she’d always stay after and talk to Dr. Dyer about literally everything besides biology.”
“Kie, I hate to break it to you,” John B put a hand on her shoulder, “I really do. But I don’t see what any of that has to do with you.”
“Because she’s just so…ugh excited. All the time.”
“As if JJ isn’t exactly the same.”
“They’re in the back you said?”
“Yeah, in the corner. Wait- I didn’t tell you that!” But they already had all the information they needed and were half way over there already.
JJ saw them wave as they approached then put his head on the table with a groan. They saw her try to coax him up with a hand scratching over his back and some nice words they couldn’t hear. And then they saw everything they needed to when she raised her other hand to wave and JJ’s bracelet was on her wrist. Oh, John B’s face said to Pope’s, This is serious.
But that didn’t stop them. “Hey guys, funny running into you two here.” John B announced, extra loudly just for JJ’s sake since his head was still down. He and Pope slid into the round booth on the other side of y/n. She pushed JJ up by the shoulder but his chin was still to his chest.
“Wow, must have really worn him out.” Pope said, followed by a stolen one of John B’s fries.
“Looks like it. You gonna make it hotshot?”
He looked up sharply to flick his hair out of his face. She pushed it back and while they were so focused on each other the other two boys gave each other looks Oh shit, this is real serious.
“I’ll make it.” He let out a long and exasperated groan. “Pope, John B, this is my firlgriend.” Completely an honest mistake but he was just happy it made her laugh. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t-”
“No, I know you didn’t.” He squeezed her thigh and continued.
“This is my girlfriend.” Oh, real real serious.
“Took you long enough,” referring to how many tries it took him to get it right, not hiding their relationship. She actually didn’t mind it, she liked having him all to herself. “Good boy,” she pushed herself up to kiss his cheek and he leaned into it. She stayed looking up at him with a smile and the boys were waiting for him to look disgusted, grossed out, something, anything he’d usually do with girls that got too affectionate; but it never came. He was looking at her the same way he looks at a great swell of a wave, like she was an adventure, something he wanted to take on and knew he could. They saw it in his eyes and then, this kid blushed. This girl made JJ Maybank blush, hard.
“So what have you guys been up to?” JJ pulled her closer with an arm around her waist and she leaned back into him so she could face the boys.
They talked about so many things and she was so animated and genuinely interested in what they had to say. She liked hearing about Pope’s dreams and aspirations, asking him so many questions about his scholarship and what kind of career he wants. John B told her about the theories he and his dad have come up with about the shipwreck and the treasure. She was so easy to talk to and never bored. How could anyone be bored when the conversations moved so fast. Every time Kiara walked by it was something new. Mr. Hayward’s business, Pope’s scholarship, what he wants to do after high school, John B’s Spanish final, who says ‘bon voyage’ the French or the Spanish, how different languages happened, Pangea, Panthalassa, what a fun word trapezoid is, how much the geometry teacher sucked, their favorite classes, the clubs she and Pope are in with both of them getting all excited about the ones they shared.
“You should come to the chateau sometime,” John B suggested and she looked up at JJ over her shoulder, a silent what do you think?
“Yeah, it’d be fun,” all three of them picked up on his hesitancy.
“Yeah?” He nodded surely in response. “You just tell me when.”
***
JJ loved getting her alone. Every minute with just her was heaven to him.
Unfortunately for both of them, he was under house arrest in purgatory.
Pope and John B loved having her around. Kiara didn’t get the hype. “Kie, listen, it’s like having a puppy that can talk.” John B had had a few beers that were way higher percentages than he thought.
“Don’t call my girlfriend a puppy, man.”
“Sor-*hiccup* sorry, but am I wrong? Pope, am I wrong?”
“Not really, like if she was a puppy her tail would always be waggin and shit and if she saw a leaf move she’d be like,” He turned around really fast and JJ thought he heard his neck crack.
“I still don’t get why that means she has to be over here all the time?”
“Do you have some sort of problem with her, Kie?” JJ asked, failing at holding the defensive tone off.
“No, I just mean why is she always around?”
“Because she’s my girlfriend, I like having her around and so do they. So kindly do me a favor and get the stick out of your ass. Hmm?”
“Fine,” she put her hands up in surrender then leaned back in her seat, letting them all get back on with their evening.
***
By the end of the summer y/n was thoroughly convinced Kiara hated her. She’d hardly look at her and she’d never add anything to their conversations besides some snarky remark about how close it seems she and JJ have gotten. But she was never out right mean, y/n thought she was just reading into it too hard.
They were back at the chateau, having some drinks to celebrate….something. Y/n couldn’t quite remember what. She was in JJ’s lap and he was talking to John B about cars or hydroponics, something. She didn’t know entirely but she was nodding along all the same. She was staring at his face, tracing his jaw with her eyes. She didn’t even notice she was doing it until he turned because of her finger tracing the curve then down his neck. He smiled at her, all soft and gentle and pretty. “What’re you up to, kid?”
She smiled back at him just the same lazy adorable way that she does when he catches her spacing out. “I’m older than you.”
“Barely, and that doesn’t answer my question.”
“You have a mole.” She put her finger back on it. “Right there. Since when?”
“Forever, probably.” He took her hand so carefully and held it in their laps instead, both of them twisting their fingers around the other’s like a kelp forest, slipping and sliding back and forth through the spaces between them.
“Forever? Really? I never noticed.”
“Ha- You never notice a lot of things.” Kiara mumbled loud enough for Big John to hear her inside.
JJ’s fingers stilled, y/n just squeezed them tighter. Her smile fell for a second but she picked it right back up, looser, no teeth, not reaching her eyes or making the lines in her cheeks it usually does. “What do you mean?” JJ was going to cry with how small and innocently she said it.
“Hmm?”
“You said I don’t notice anything, what do you mean?”
“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” Kiara scratched her neck then took a strand of hair to twist around her finger and check for split ends,
“I notice a lot of things,” she slipped off of JJ’s lap and into the seat next to him but let him keep their thighs pressed together.
“I’m sure you do. Just like the note John B left to keep the door closed! Just like how Pope tells you over and over what his favorite color is! And when JJ obviously looks uncomfortable to anyone with eyes! You notice all that?! Of course you don’t, you’re so wrapped up in yourself you don’t know anything about anyone around you. All you ever do is talk about yourself, it’s sickening.”
“Ok,” she sniffed shallowly but JJ could still hear the shakiness in it, feel her leg bouncing against his. She can do this herself, JJ thought hopefully. She took a deep breath, “Seems like we know what we all think of me now.” She started picking up the empty cups and cans within her arms reach. “John B, ‘s it ok if I ask your dad to take me home?”
“Uh, yea-”
“Hey, I’ll take you home.” JJ put a hand on her arm when she stood. She would only look at his hand, not his face.
“No, it’s ok.” He could hardly hear her, something that rarely happened since she’d gotten comfortable with all of them. Well, almost all of them. He stood up, close enough that her arm was flush to his chest. She still didn’t look at him, only facing John B, pulling his cold glare from Kiara to her taught pout and watery eyes that broke his heart. “If he’s busy I can walk.”
“You’re not walking,” JJ tried to get her to look at him. She almost did but then Kiara started again.
“Maybe she should. Learn to do something for herself for once instead of getting someone else to do it for her, like she does every time.”
JJ pulled her to his chest and John B stepped in front of them. “Kie, I think you should go, man.”
“Right, like you guys haven’t been ditching me since JJ started bringing his new bitch around!” She flinched at the word and JJ pulled her closer. “Just make Kiara leave, right?! Not like I’ve been your best friend for years before she came around.”
“You wanna go?” JJ whispered into her ear. She didn’t trust herself to speak, she didn’t want to speak, so a nod would have to suffice. “Go wait inside.”
“Jay, no,” she weakly argued.
“I’ll be right out, please baby, just let me,” he left the end of his sentence hanging and let Pope guide her inside with a nod of gratitude.
John B was still trying to calm Kiara down, but JJ wasn’t into pleasantries. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? Ever since you’ve started bringing her here you’ve been so distant, you’re so wrapped up in each other, it’s like you’re in your own little bubble and you never pay any attention to us anymore.”
“Could you stop speaking for me and Pope, Kie? Really. It’s enough,” John B sat back down while JJ and Kiara were getting in each other’s faces.
“So you don’t find her so fucking grating you can’t even hear yourself think?”
John B pulled JJ back, just a bit further from her, “No-”
“No one thinks that! You think that because you’re so possessive over us for no reason! Kie, I’m happy with her, I love her. I love you guys too but not if you’re gonna be a fuckin psycho about it.”
“All I mean is-”
“All you mean is that you’re jealous, and you need to get the fuck over it.”
She scoffed at that, “I am not jealous, I’m not jealous. Why would you even say that?”
“Why would you say any of the shit you’ve said to her? Hmm? You can’t fuckin share. And I’m not asking you to.”
A strange look of relief flashed over her features, but was greatly short lived.
“I’m telling you.”
“JJ, I-”
“I’m telling you, if you can’t figure out how to act like a normal fucking person then I’m not comin around.”
“I’m the normal one, she’s- she’s-”
Both boys looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to come up with a real negative about the kindest girl they’ve probably ever met, albeit the most distracted one.
JJ hummed when she couldn’t come up with anything. “Jombee, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“10:30 still?”
“You know I’m not up by then.” They did their handshake and JJ went inside while John B made Kiara sit back down and talk to him. Pope and y/n were leaned back against the counter, he had an arm over her shoulders and was finally able to calm her breathing. “Hey,” JJ came closer, slowly, so he didn’t startle them. “Hey, you feelin ok? Still wanna go?”
“Yeah,” she sniffed hard, “Yeah. You ok?”
“I will be when we get home.”
“Where’s home?”
“Wherever you want it to be.”
***
They rode back to her house on his bike. He carried her through the house, just to make her laugh, since she’d been so quiet.
He threw her onto the bed then went through the shelves of DVDs, looking for the ones he was sure she’d like. “Not the Little Mermaid,” he pushed that one back in line.
“What? Why not the Little Mermaid?”
“Because she doesn’t talk, I want you to talk.”
“I don’t wanna talk, you do enough of that for the both of us.” He laughed a little at her attempt of a joke, but it was short lived once he realized what she really meant.
“But I like your voice, I like what you have to say.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“About what?”
“About whatever you want.” She silently asked him for something more to go off of. “Here, tell me about this.” He handed her her weighted dinosaur and laid it on her chest.
“What about it?”
“Stop asking questions, start talking. Tell me why you like the squish feeling.”
“What do I get out of it?” He raised an eyebrow at another question but relented anyway.
“I’ll squish you.”
“Really?”
He nodded once, then thought if he looked at her smile any longer he’d melt, so he went to set the movie up.
“Your body is basically like, covered with touch receptors, and when they’re stimulated by, in this case squish, they release oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, all those. And those are all the happy hormones, the love hormones, aaannnd you love me but you’d love me more if you came over and squished me.”
He hit play then brought a blanket so he could lay down and she could curl into his side. “You love me more than your dinosaur?”
“Is that even a question?”
“Uh, yes?”
“Of course I love you more than dinosaurs,” she nudged herself up to kiss his jaw that she could reach. “Dinosaurs can’t squish me, Silly, they’re extinct.”
(thank you so much for reading, please please please let me know if you want a part 2 and support your creators!!! ok??? (maybe not me, i kinda suck and only realized i never copied the last line over like 4 months later) But comments are like the most wonderful thing to me so if there’s any parts you particularly enjoyed just let me know <3<3<3)
“Of course I love you more than dinosaurs,” she nudged herself up to kiss his jaw that she could reach. “Dinosaurs can’t squish me, Silly, they’re extinct.”
#jj maybank#jj obx#jj outer banks#jj x you#jj x reader#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x you#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj mayback imagine#jj mayback x reader#obx jj maybank#obx pogues#obx x reader#obx fic#outer banks#outer banks x you#outer banks one shot#outer banks fic#outer banks fluff#adhd reader#dell's fics
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How to row a hook-up
MDNI
disclaimer : unprotected sex, quickie, doggy style, creampie, semi public, teasing, breeding kink, no name mentioned
You met him on a dating app. You liked his profile because of his blue hair. It's not common and you love someone with their own personality. He was a traveler, coming we-don't-know-where and indicated that he was around for several days.
There was no expectation, you liked some other profiles. You got some matches and started to talk with them but they weren't interesting or too weird. You gave up for the night and went to bed. Tomorrow evening your friend will arrive and the both of you will head to the most anticipated festival of the year. How exciting is it to finally being able to enjoy music lives.
When you woke up the next morning, you were anything but a portable battery, too much energy, too much happiness... too much eve everything.
You headed to the shower and had a full body wash, hair included. Summer nights were hot and humid, so much so that you needed to wash your hair daily. After getting dressed, you picked up your phone and oh! missing notifications. It was the blue haired cutie. He liked you back! FUCK!
"Hi! I'm here for a few days. I'm going to be honest, I need someone who speaks the local language... Are you in?" 4 hours ago
"Ha ~ Finally, I wasn't that honest. I have a big event this weekend and I am very stressed. It's impromptu but could you help you to reduce this tension?" 4 hours ago
"I mean in a sexual way?" 3 hours ago
"Wait... It's impossible to erase a message on this app??? Fuck it." 5 minutes ago
"You know what? Forget it, nvw. It was unsolicited." now
You laughed. He was cute and kinda strange in a way.
"Hey :) sure I'm in, even for a tension revealed thing if you want." now
You texted back without proofreading, probably because you'd cringe at your message. You tossed your phone on your bed. after all, What are the chances that he will respond now? Obviously none.
You planned to go on a self date, one of your fave thing. You put a little make, mascara and lip gloss, grab your bag stuffed with keys, wallet, a book and your flying phone. Headphones on your ears, you headed out to a cozy restaurant nearby to the hotel.
The atmosphere was hushed, the lights were subdued and the ceiling had mouldings. A perfect place to order a fancy dish and a glass of white wine in the back corner out of sight. After the waiter has taken your order and came back with your drink, you took your book and started peacefully your me-time.
A group of about ten people took the table on the right. They were loud, chaotic dressed in expensive clothing. You sighted and turn on the headphones again. You looked for your phone to play some music. While the tracks scrolled across the screen, he popped up. You jumped on your seat, hurting the table.
- "HOLLY... ", you restrained yourself from screaming and rubbing your knees. The neighbours at the table turned around with surprised looks. "My apologies", you nodded, pressed play to the first track coming and hid behind your book.
"Hello again! Thank God, I'm glad you did answer. I'm not used to dating apps, probably because I'm not allowed to. Had I say I was relieved? Haha I'm rumbling... Anyways, I'm going to dinner in a restaurant, would you like to recommend me a dish? I'm so lost... " 3 minutes ago
You laughed softly.
"Okay, it's funny because I'm in a restaurant too currently. I order a croque madame, it's a hot sandwich studded with béchamel sauce, cheese and ham plus there's a sunny side up on the top of it. It comes with a salad. So, I guess you may order this too!" now
"THANK YOU!" now
Oh the answer came very quickly this time. You left your phone on the table with the book, as the waiter came back with your dish.
Oh it was delicious... The bread was crispy outside but still soft and buttery. The egg was perfect, the ham and cheese tasty and smoked. It was heaven,all of this combined with the jazz music playing... It was orgasmic.
"I guess you gave me a good choice. It looks yummy. *one picture attached *" now
Your eyes widen once again. The picture of his dish was exactly the same than yours, the dishes, the tablecloth, everything. You raised your head and started to search around you. He was here.
*Wait... We are in the same restaurant. Oh lol, where are you?" now
You kept looking for some blue hair but failed. Was it a joke? Where was he? After 5 minutes, your message was still unread. You decided to go to the bathroom, leaving your things under the waiter supervision.
Until someone grabbed your hand and guided you to the first nearby room. You were about to scream when your kidnapper switch on the light. Blue hair. Oh.
- "Hey... hey hey hey", he whispered "I'm so sorry, I caught you by surprise. I recognized you when I entered the restaurant earlier. I wanted to give you a hand sign but as I was with my band and the staff, it was impossible. Please accept my apologies. But jeez you're beautiful. Ah sorry I'm rambling again... Hey? Hello, Earth?"
Of course you heard him but you were shut. He was stunning, his delicate face, his bobba eyes contrasted so well with his blue hair. You were subjugated.
- "Yeah? Hi...", the words fell from your mouth.
- "Are you okay? Are you shocked?" he panicked "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.".
You put your hand on his chest. "Are you real...?" you asked randomly. He burnt out of laughter,took your hand and swapped your fingers with his own.
- "Hello sweetheart, yes I'm real", he cooed with a chuckle. He took your chin and replaced a strand of hair out of your face. "May i kiss you?"
Wow, that was bold but not as bold as you, putting your hands on his shoulders for leverage, you reached to his mouth and put a lingering kiss on his lips. He caught you and deeper the kiss, glued his body to yours.
- "Ah princess... I want you now, can I have you now?", You looked at him and nodded. "Use your words baby. ".
- "Ha.... yes, please. Are you not afraid that someone caught us?".
He cadged you between his body and the door.
- "No, I'm not. You'll have to stay quiet if you don't want to be discovered.", He leaned to kiss you again. Both of you had a little time. His hands made their path under your shirt going for the claps of your bra. You weren't wearing a bra, oops. He broke the kiss and gave you a stern look.
- "Oh my. What do we have here?", he raised your hands with one hand while his others reached up your top, exposing your chest to the cold air, making your nipples harder than they already were. He started to leave little pecks on your neck, down to your collarbone, decorating it with purple and finally reaching to your left boob.
- "Let's start with your heart side would you?", he rolled the sensitive tip between his digits, cutting off a moan of you. He urgently put his hand on your mouth. "Stay quiet baby if you don't want to get caught".
He freed your hands which ended up on his shoulders again and licked your nipple. Your chest arched, giving him more flesh. You moaned again, silently. His other hand found a place on your hips, rubbing slow circles.
- "Touch me, please...", Your voice was almost a whisper. "May I have your fingers in me?"
It was all it took for him to snap. He got back on his feet, turned you around and lifted your skirt.
- " Oh baby wants my fingers?", he teased. "Baby wants me to finger your needy hole?"
He didn't give enough time to answer before he ripped soaking panties, stuffed you with two fingers at an incredible rough pace. You felt the first sprinkles of pleasure and he added a third one. Soft moans weren't enough, louder ones erupted from your throat as he stopped them by placing a hand on your filfy mouth.
- "I told you to stop being noisy", his action hadn't the expected effect, your creamed his hand. "Fuck that's hot. May I give you my cock sweetie, uh? Want me to fill you up? Breeding you with my seeds?".
Unable to form a coherent sentence, you gave him a "Ha... y... es fuck, gimme y-your see-seeds".
While licking his digits, he undid his pants, freeing his erected dick from the confines of his underwear. One hand came to press on your back to put your pussy on display. You felt him, rubbing his cock along your folds, teasing your entrance. You tried to push your hips back on him to finally get your dream fulifilled.
- "tsk... baby no... that's not how we ask to be fucked"
- "please, I can't... oh shit!", he penetrated you in one full stroke. He snapped his hips on yours, making the head of his penis kissed your cervix, forcefully. The pace he chose left no space for mercy. You thought you were going to cum only by being penetrated until he reached your clit only to play with it. As his pace maintained a high drive, he doodled circles on your bundle of nerves.
- "Fuck baby girl, cum... cum for me. Cum on my cock, I want to feel it", he bite your ear. Then everything became colorful. You came hard around him, squeezing your insides like never you did before. He helped by guiding you through it. The only sound remained was the lewd, squishing sound of his cock entering you again and again. He took him a few pumps before he filled you full of him.
- "hhhhaaa fuck baby, I'm bringing you to my hotel room. I can't leave you like that."
hiii, it's been a while! I hope you enjoyed this story. it was supposed to be a drabble, as usual, it's a failure 🤷🏻♀️
Feel free to give feedback and comments (constructive ones only!) 💕
I have to be honest, im not a big mood to write rn but I felt I needed to post this one. please be nice if you find typos or grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language.
#stray kids x reader#skz x you#stray kids smut#bang chan smut#lee know smut#changbin smut#hwang hyunjin smut#han jisung smut#felix smut#kim seungmin smut#yang jeongin smut#Spotify
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AITA for saying I don't give a shit about calorie counts?
Before I even start this, I'm going to say - if you actively have an eating disorder, please don't vote on this one. I used to have one and I know how badly ED screws with your reasoning regarding weight and food, even with other people. Onto the dilemma.
I (22M) and my friend (31F) are both on "diets" - in quotes because its a lifestyle change, but idk about her. I've drastically changed my diet, exercise, and general lifestyle for health reasons.
My friend also wanted to start dieting at the same time, and as far as I know, she just wants to lose weight. She has a healthy weight goal in mind and her methods of losing weight are healthy, basically the same as me - better foods and more exercise. Recently we talked about our goals because we both lost several pounds, and she asked me what my goal weight was. I told her I didn't have one, I might later but right now my only focus is making sure my body is in good health. She seemed to agree and the conversation moved on.
Another thing is, I recently learned that I LOVE to cook. I've been adding more veggies and spices into my diet as well - swapping french fries with marinated air-fried carrots, veggie dumplings, shredding cabbage for noodles, making my own stir fry sauce and blends, etc.
I cook for us sometimes, because I often make more than I need and I want to share my cooking with others. But she keeps asking my how many calories are in stuff. I tell her what's in the recipe and how it's made, but I honestly have no clue how many calories are in anything I make. I can tell her pretty much anything else, like it's rich in whatever vitamin, it's low cholesterol, it's a great source of iron, I used healthier alternative instead of whatever... but that's not the info she's looking for. And since a lot of my cooking is experimental, I can't look it up online. I've never noticed this to be an issue before, but I'm a bit clueless so it's possible she showed signs of being bothered by this and I just didn't notice.
It all came to a head the other day when we had dinner after our usual workout. I was charting the exercises I did that day. She asked me if I was tracking calories for the meal and started talking about her calorie tracker app. I listened to her spiel about empty calories and tracking food. When she asked if I was going to downloaded it, I laughed and said "I don't give two shits about counting calories. As long as the food is good for me I don't care." I said it light-hearted and joking bc I don't want her to think it's bad to count calories - it's just not what I'm going to do. But she got quiet and later texted me that it hurts. I explained that she can count calories if she wants, and I don't care if she does or doesn't, but it's not for me. She doesn't know about my eating disorder history and I'd rather not tell her, since that's another reason I don't count calories - I don't want to fall back on starving myself since I KNOW that's not healthy, so it's easier for me to just exclude calories from the picture entirely. Should I tell her why I don't count calories? Could I have told her that I don't care about calories in a nicer way? AITA?
Also, before anyone suggests it - she does NOT have an eating disorder. Idk why she counts calories, but she shares a lot about her life with me, and she eats plenty and eats well, and doesn't exercise excessively, just enough to stay healthy for what she wants to do.
What are these acronyms?
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I’ve seen someone taking the approach of Ian having a long term affair not just a fling, he was fooling around on the player for a while and keeping his home with them before getting caught. Although intriguing, part of me hopes that’s actually not the case. I know plenty of people do it but sexting and dating someone more exciting but taking advantage of the familiar comfort of might make Ian too far gone for a lot of players, that’s a little too fuckboi. Could tell a more intense narrative though.
Ah yes, I believe you're talking about this marvelously heart-wrenching comic drawn by Cannibalingus on twitter, right? As mentioned in the notes of the follow up comic page, canon has been changed up a bit. I think it's a really interesting AU to explore.
On that note, I'll give a quick warning that post will contain a lot of heavy topics such as cheating, chronic illness, lying, manipulation, gaslighting, destructive actions, the effects of sexual trauma, and a boatload of angst and drama among other sketchy implied things. This fandom is for Adults Only for a reason after all, and not just because of the smut.
For the most part, the fandom uses a picture Sauce drew a while back and posted on their old twitter as a basis for Ian cheating. Credit, as always, goes to them for their fabulous art. Remember, don't share anything privately posted on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon.
Technically, this picture is non-canon unless it appears on an official SDJ page like the tumblr or twitter, but development art like this tends to really capture our imaginations when it comes to lore and headcanons. I use this picture as the basis for my own headcanons and what happened when Ian cheated on Alice in Sunshine in Hell.
In the numerous previous posts where I talked about Ian's affair, particularly this lengthy one, I compared why he wound up cheating to a frog not realizing the water is getting gradually hotter until it's boiled alive. I think it happened with a series of lines being crossed slowly over time until finally a line was crossed that Ian could no longer justify it as anything innocent. This then would result in his guilt-wracked phone call that we see in this picture.
The comic proposes a different scenario, where Ian chose not to confess, but continued to cross the line. He has full knowledge that what he's doing is wrong, but he does it anyway. Maybe it just made the sex that much more exciting to him. Further, he told his affair partner so many things that he says to MC in the demo, both in the present and in the past.
Really, I find it interesting Ian can still a lot of the say the same things to MC that he said in the past even after cheating, but I digress.
In my version of the canon, the reason why Alice forgave Ian and still loves him is because he did confess right away. He apologized sincerely, and she knows him well enough to know that he is truly does feel immense guilt for what he's done.
Alice convinced herself that this really was just a mistake. Ian has a history of these sorts of mistakes in the heat of the moment. He's a sensitive person and reacts strongly. He wants so badly to be loved and cared for. It's not hard to accept that he got swept up in the attention and care in a place where he felt so lonely... and it's hard not to believe that he lost control of himself when he got horny when he's done so before when they were intimate.
It's a pattern between them, of Ian being apologetically himself and making so many mistakes... and Alice protecting him and forgiving him. She knows he's a wounded soul who has been abused, bullied, and isolated so badly when growing up. He only really had her, and when he left for that school to pursue his dream, he suddenly was without her and her support except over phone or text. She certainly felt lonely in their apartment without him, her family, or friends living nearby...
It's because of all that history together and knowing Ian so well that, unfortunately, led to Alice convincing herself that she needed to forgive him. She needed to be strong for them. He needed her more than ever when he was at his weakest. This was the man that she wanted to spend her life with, who she left her family to be with when the two of them moved far away from where their families lived in order to escape the grasping talons of his narcissist mother and her flying monkeys.
They were both hurting, and Alice believed that the only way to heal that hurt was forgiveness. The way she was going about things, and their relationship in general, was wildly unhealthy - kindness and compassion taken to toxic extremes. Mercifully others who cared about her helped her see that this wasn't healthy for either of them, and that the kindest thing she could do for both of them is to end things after things soured so bad and the trust was just... gone.
Everything changes if Ian's affair was similar to the one depicted in the comic.
Alice is a kind person, at times too kind to her own detriment, but a betrayal of that level would make her realize that she never actually knew Ian at all.
Ian didn't confess immediately, so it wasn't a mistake in the heat of the moment. This was a deliberate betrayal done many, many times over. So many lies are exposed in these series of texts. All those times he claimed that he only wanted and loved Alice... that he could only find her attractive... that he only really needed her? All lies. They're nothing but cheap, pretty words he tells to other people in order to get his dick wet.
Even if the screenshots are faked, the pictures are real. Alice knows Ian's naked body. She's intimately familiar with him. She knows it's him, and these are pictures that he never sent her. They were meant for someone else...
The content of the texts are just so painfully familiar too. So many things Ian used to tell her all the time... Were they just lines to make someone feel special so that he could sleep with them? Once upon a time, "I love you" and "I need you" made her feel wonderful, irreplaceable... but who knows how many other people Ian "loves" and "needs" besides her?
Then comes the part where Alice is referenced in the text. Maybe even she was mentioned by name so there's no doubt. Maybe there were even some chats about her, about how this other person is so much more attractive than her... This person Ian is talking to knows he's in a relationship and is just as cruel of a person to mock her just by having the affair... and fucking in their bed while she's out.
Hell, Alice might even have been friends with this person Ian cheated on her with. Sadly, a lot of times partners cheat with someone very, very close to the person they're cheating on...
Denial is the first reaction from Alice of course. This couldn't be real. This isn't Ian, not her Ian. It can't be. She checks timestamps, images... demands answers from the unknown person who sent it, who they are, how they got it, how they found out... She doesn't want this to be real...
The denial doesn't last long, not when there's too much proof that Ian was someone Alice never actually knew at all...
Pain, disgust, horror, betrayal, and all sorts of other awful emotions overwhelm Alice, and she has to go to the bathroom to throw up. The stress makes her chronic illness flare up, painful and awful... but she refuses to lie down in that bed knowing that Ian fucked someone else in it while he and that fake "friend" probably laughed about how she was too stupid to realize that he was just using her.
Did Ian ever care about Alice at all? Was she just useful? She helped and supported him so much... studying, moving, getting connections, pushing him to go for his dream... She waited for him to come back from that stupid prestigious college all that time, alone. Out there he had been surrounded by hot models and actors like his anime waifus and husbandos he drooled over in his "not porn" ecchi. How many people did he sleep with? What if he gave her an STI? What if he got someone pregnant and hid it?
Alice has to know. It hurts too much not to... but she can't let Ian stop her... lie to her until she does... So she uses one of those emergency travel locks used to make hotel stays more secure on their apartment door so the keys won't work when he gets home, giving her time to tear their apartment completely upside-down.
Every scrap of evidence on his laptop, in his room that Ian kept his stuff in but didn't sleep in is scoured through. Why the fuck did he not sleep with other people in his bed? Or maybe he did and that's why it still smelled clean because he was good at covering his tracks. Maybe it's because changing their sheets often was normal and thus easier to hide than his own sheets when he never used his bed...
Speaking of that bed, Alice gets all the dirty secrets Ian is hiding underneath his bed that he panicked about her finding. She always assumed they were porn mags, but they're far more incriminating things that make it clear without a shadow of a doubt that the screencaps are all true.
The videos of Ian having sex on an innocent unmarked USB drive hidden in a sock under his bed chases away the last of her denials.
Alice knows Ian's passwords, and those she doesn't, she can guess. He's a creature of habit - predictable despite his secret double life. She copies everything incriminating and deletes the photos of her. Most of them are innocent, but she sent some suggestive things while he had been away at school. It sickens her to see them now. Some of those shots... did she remember taking them? It's hard not to feel paranoid about pictures that were taken candidly that seem questionable now. Did she know Ian was taking them? Saving them?
Who was this man that she gave up everything for?
Sex and lies, sex and lies... It's sickening, and Alice throws up again, this time just bile since her stomach is empty. She feels used and violated in a way that makes her body shake. It hurts. It hurts so, so much... but she can't stop. Not now. Not with this ball of hatred festering inside her gut.
All the love Alice had for Ian has been irrevocably tainted into hate. There's nothing he can say to defend himself or fix things after everything she found to damn him. What of his she didn't send to himself as evidence, she destroys. The half heart pendant she used to cherish? She takes a hammer to it and smashes it on top of his laptop and his video game consoles.
The apartment is half destroyed by the time Ian gets home. He tries the lock, but it won't work for some reason. He jiggles the handle and knocks, asking Alice to let him in and worries about the strange noises he heard inside. Is she okay?
Silence is his only answer.
The sudden silence panics Ian, and he pounds on the door a little more, asking if Alice is okay. He knows even with prescription medication, she sometimes has really bad attacks of pain. Did he need to take her to the hospital? Was she lying on the floor, unable to call out for help because she's in so much pain? He starts banging his shoulder against the door harder, trying to break in.
The quiet clicking of a chain and the travel lock goes unnoticed as he keeps banging the door with his shoulder, and Ian goes tumbling into the apartment and falls to the floor when the door suddenly is flung open.
For a second, Ian is relieved to see Alice is on her feet, but then he realizes something is very, horribly wrong.
Alice has been crying. That much is obvious from the tear tracks on her face and the redness in her eyes. It's her eyes especially that seize Ian with a new kind of fear.
There's no love in her eyes as she looks at him. In her eyes he sees the same disgust he saw in his mother's eyes and in those of his classmates while growing up. It's a look that's utterly alien coming from Alice of all people, the one person who was by his side and protected him all this time.
Before Ian has the chance to ask what's wrong or even speculate, Alice flings something down on his face - an innocent little USB stick, snapped in half. At first he's confused, then comes the horrifying realization when he recognizes it.
That's when the protests happen, the apologies, the excuses... even defensiveness as Ian scrambles to his feet. It's not what it looks like! The people in those pictures and video aren't real - they're just AI - just some dumb guilty pleasure. What was Alice doing going through his stuff and looking under his bed? How could she violate his trust like this?!
After lying for so, so long, Ian can only lie more and twist things around on the desperate hope that it's not too late to salvage things.
Alice can only feel her disgust for this lying toad that she always called her prince charming.
How did Alice never see it before? Ian was such a good actor now. She helped him get so good to achieve his dream. Even in the face of irrefutable evidence, he still acts the victim. Poor, pathetic Ian being bullied again. How could Alice do that to him too?
The cold, unyielding silence and hatred shake Ian to his core. He's never seen Alice like this before, not to him. None of his excuses are breaking through the hatred in her eyes. Lying and acting won't work anymore and it sinks in that he's fucked up. It's over. She doesn't have to say it, he can see it in her eyes.
Ian breaks down, babbling out apologies and excuses, sobbing uncontrollably. This isn't an act, he begs for her forgiveness, begging her to talk to him as he starts clinging to her.
Alice slaps his hand away, hissing out a hoarse, "Don't touch me!"
Ian reels back, holding his hand. It stung, but the pain is nowhere near as bad as the hatred in her eyes.
The tension between them is thick, slimy, and acidic, as if both of them are breathing in poison.
There's so much Alice wants to say. She wants to demand how he could do this to her. Was it worth it? How many people did he cheat on her with? How long had this been going on? How much of everything was a lie? Why they hell was he even with her!?
Alice is so, so angry. She's never been this angry in her life. She should be screaming at Ian, calling him every horrible name under the sun... hurt him like she's hurting right now.
But Alice is in so, so, so much pain. Even the "just in case" pills for her worst flare ups aren't doing much except taking the edge off at this point. Only her anger is keeping her standing, but it's constricting tight around her throat, guts, and heart, choking the life from her.
The pain is too much. Alice can't even look at Ian anymore, can't be here anymore.
"Goodbye, Ian." The words are so, so hard to force out from her constricted throat.
Ian once more babbles apologies, cries and begs... but it's all white noise to Alice. She has heard this song and dance a million times, and she knows now everything that comes spewing out of that mouth of his is lies.
The friend she had for so long, the love of her life... they never really existed, did they? This is just like that other "friend" she had in high school who asked her out only to turn around and claim it was a joke, that she was far too disgusting and fat for anyone to seriously think about asking her out... only Ian took years to finally let her in on the joke he played on her.
Alice can't listen to Ian anymore. She grabs her essentials while Ian follows her around, pleading with her to just stop and listen. He can explain, really he can!
During her earlier rampage, Alice contacted the only person in the area she was close to - Shaun. He had moved to the area recently, even stayed at their apartment for a while until he got his own place.
Is Shaun coming? Her text was vague, just asking him to come get her and that she needs to leave. Now. She almost sent him the screenshots, but there's too many photos of Ian naked in them. At least Shaun said that he was on his way.
Mercifully, Shaun shows up. He's in a panic, worried that Alice got sick and needed to be rushed to the hospital. Their front door is open, and Ian's sobbing, babbling apologies reach him even before he comes inside. There's just enough for Shaun to get the gist... and he's enraged.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ian?!"
Ian whirls around to see Shaun storming in. Shaun is so much bigger than him, stronger, and far more intimidating. If it comes to blows, he won't win.
Shaun doesn't take any of Ian's excuses or apologies, throwing back what he just heard in Ian's face. How could Ian do that to Alice? How can he ask for forgiveness after that?
It serves as enough of a distraction for Alice to finish putting her things together, at least the vital stuff. Everything else... she'll get later. She has the important things, and she needs to leave or she'll crumble and break to pieces. She cuts off the argument between the two men by tugging at Shaun's sleeve and saying near tears, "Let's just go."
Shaun doesn't need to be told twice. Ian tries to stop Alice from leaving, but Shaun isn't going to let him get in the way. Shaun escorts Alice from the apartment, promising that he'll be back for the rest of her stuff for her, and Ian better not break any of her stuff unless he wants his legs broken in return.
It's only when the two are in the elevator, when Ian is no longer in sight, that Alice can't keep it together anymore. She collapses against Shaun, weeping and wailing out so much pain...
The trip to Shaun's place is quiet except for Alice's quiet pained whimpering as she lies back in the reclined passenger seat in a near fetal position. She's not present enough to talk, just trying to escape all of the pain that she can. If not for the rage directing her on a path of destruction, she would've downed every bit of alcohol Ian stored at their apartment to try and numb the pain, but it's too late for her to take that option now.
Shaun lets Alice sleep in his bed that night. Though she's not used to sleeping alone and feels lonely, she struggles with being touched right now, feeling so used and filthy after what Ian did to her. She only sleeps when her energy is gone, and she wakes up still feeling miserable. She can barely manage to text work that she'll be out sick.
Shaun went to her favorite food place to snag breakfast back when they were at college and served it to her while she was still in bed. He knows about how stress makes her sickness worse, so he's going to do all that he can to make things easier on her.
It's after Alice manages to get some food and medicine down that she starts talking. It's just a couple words at first, then a few more, and soon it's just a deluge of everything she found out, all the lies and the shit Ian put her through both behind her back and in front of it. She didn't realize that there was so much more wrong between them until she started unloading, and she can't seem to stop. At some point she started clinging to Shaun, crying in his arms as he held her tight, but she kept going until all she could do was cry...
The days and weeks that follow are... rough.... to say the least. Ian sent so many texts that first day, and left so many voicemails... Alice didn't listen to any of them. She didn't read what he had to say. It was only when she had what she wanted to say ready in her mind that she sent him a long email that contained all her hurt from his betrayal. They had a brief back and forth, just enough for him to answer her questions like why.
All Ian has are excuses... and Alice has had enough of them. She ends things by telling him to never contact her again before blocking him on everything.
Ian isn't someone Alice loves anymore, can't love. His love for her was lies, lies, lies... Just one big joke at her expense. He used her for so much... support, to be an emotional crutch, a fuck toy that he played with roughly despite her trauma, all for the sake of "love"...
It disgusts Alice to think of how much she endured for a scumbag like that. She's been used in a way that makes her want to peel her skin off, and she's taken a lot of showers where she's scrubbed her skin raw.
Ian knows where Shaun's place is, but Shaun makes sure to let security for the building know to be on the lookout for Ian and keep him out.
Shaun, being the good friend he is, asks Alice if she wants to move in with him... but after what happened with Ian, she feels uneasy about that. Her trust has been damaged in a way that she needs time and space to repair. She does talk it through with him, and he understands. He even helps her move into a new apartment, one a good distance away from her old place and promises not to tell Ian where it is.
Alice changes jobs too. A yogurt shop right beside her apartment is fine. It doesn't pay as much as the gig at the library did, but Ian went to her place of work to talk to her, and just once was enough.
Fuck Ian. Fuck him in the way that he would hate the most and cry about. And fuck the small part of Alice that still loves him even as the rest of her hates him.
Word spreads about what Ian did, and friends choose sides, mostly Alice's considering the circumstances. Unlike in the main universe where some are divided or being neutral, few can buy that Ian really is remorseful after such rampant lies and cheating.
The King family is shocked and outraged at Ian. I mentioned their reactions to Ian cheating in a previous post, but the fallout is even more severe in this AU. After all... Alice no longer cares if Ian is hurt, and what he did to her is far worse than the normal universe.
After Alice moves, her whole family comes to visit her for housewarming and to help cheer her up. The new apartment is small, so it's a crowded party, but it helps. Mama King even brings her plenty of beautiful flowers to decorate the new place.
There's no more mention of Ian around Alice. She doesn't ask about him, and has asked others not to bring him up to her. Shaun still keeps an eye on things though, just in case. He heard from someone that Ian moved out of the old apartment and left a message that he's sorry and for Alice to have a good life. Shaun doesn't pass the message along.
Ian was also thoroughly exposed online. Alice didn't spread it, but screenshots were leaked, even on his socials. It seems unlikely that he would post his own sexts and nudes, so it seems a hacker might have done it.
Alice doesn't care to look into it even after some friends inform her of what happened. It must've been done by that unknown number that sent her the screenshots in the first place. They must've gotten all the dirt on Ian too. Guess saving all that evidence is pointless now. She deletes it all so she doesn't have to think about Ian ever again.
No one has seen Ian since. Some people think he moved back out to the area where he went to college, or went off to live with his affair partner and is hiding away in shame, as no one has seen them either, but no one has been able to contact him. Some are a bit worried about what this could mean...
Alice comes out of this incident even more wary and untrusting of people... and at the same time also lonelier than ever once her family goes back to their home and things settle in the new place. It's hard for her to get close to anyone new, and it's taking her a while to relax around her friends again.
Eventually though, a trip to the thrift store will wind up with an innocent purchase on a whim. Finally Alice will have a use for the VCR Shaun gave her when he upgraded to a better model...
Of course, even Jack is going to have a hard time helping Alice trust people again. Convincing her to be his friend and to help him is much harder too. She was used by "friends" before...
Despite this... even though she's been hurt so badly, Alice still can't bring herself to let an innocent soul stay damned in hell... She won't let what happened with Ian happen again, but she won't let him change who she is either. Not everyone is a liar. People do suffer and need help sincerely. She has been one of those people more times than she likes. It's why she still insists on living on her own despite how miserable she is. She'll be strong for herself and take care of those who deserve it.
That agreement of consent between them is even more strongly emphasized in this AU. A few less loopholes to be found, and a stronger emphasis that the agreement can be broken at any time without penalty. Alice makes it clear that if Jack ever lies to her or tricks her, he's gone. Jack, desperate, doesn't hesitate to agree. He doesn't have a choice after all.
Things are even more tense when Alice wakes up in the aftermath, far more distrusting of Jack, not wanting him to touch her at all, so she tumbles off the sofa this time. It leaves Jack feeling nervous and even more desperate to please Alice and earn her trust.
It's a slower burn in this universe. Jack is on thin ice at times at the start, but manages to pluck at Alice's heartstrings. The empathy bond between them makes it hard for her to be cold to him. She's not reaching out for him as readily as she does in Sunshine in Hell, but she's not scorning him either. She still errs on the side that if Jack is real, then it would be shitty of her to treat him like just a figment of her imagination.
Alice doesn't tell Shaun right away about her new roommate, though she is aware that he would probably believe her and would be excited for supernatural shit like this. It's only when things settle a bit and she starts getting used to Jack that she does.
Because Shaun is introduced to Jack as a new supernatural ghost(?) friend and there's nothing about Alice being in a romantic relationship with Jack (and neither Shaun nor Alice know about the whole soul agreement since Alice forgot her first meeting with Jack), it's treated as something exciting to Shaun. A friendly ghost clown pal who can write messages? Oh, he's so jealous of her luck!
Jack has to take things slow and be cautious, but he can't help but feel uneasy about Shaun's closeness with Alice, at least relative to his current closeness with her. He can tell there's nothing romantic about it... at least from her end, but Shaun is a closer friend to Alice than Jack is and Jack sees how Shaun looks at her sometimes... This is something that needs to change if he doesn't want to risk losing his sunshine...
At the same time, interacting with another person helps Jack get a more solid grip on reality. It's subtle, but he can notice. Shaun is treating Jack as a favorable presence overall, being excited at his existence. It's not so simple as to just eliminate the rival when Shaun is also useful... He'll have to play this cautiously.
Really, this AU would have a bit more tension and a thriller vibe under the surface, but, you know me, I can't help but be a sucker for healing vanilla sweetness with my OTP. Though it'll take longer and there'll be more bumps in the road, I'd like to imagine that eventually Jack manages to help Alice heal, like he does for him. Though it's possible there's going to be a bit of a love triangle along the way until they finally get together.
As for Ian... no one ever hears from him ever again. It's almost funny considering his big dreams of becoming a famous actor. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? Maybe someone decided that cheaters need to pay a heavier price than just getting their belongings smashed and their dirty laundry aired online...
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
#Sunny Day Jack#Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack#SunnyDayJack#sdj#swwsdj#Headcanon Ramblings#Ask#Sauce-y Art
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The One That Got Away - Part ten
Negan Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Part 9
Warning: swearing, smut, cheating
Things between Negan and you were progressing really fast, you woke up each morning to text messages from him for the past week since the night the two of you had gone out for drinks. And each day he would ask when you would be available for that dinner date, eventually you caved in; revealing which day was your off day from work.
Queue today’s text.
“Hey there… we still on for tonight?”
“Hey, not sure if I’m up for going out tonight.”
“You ok?”
“Just had a shitty day at work and want a peaceful night in at home.”
“I understand… tell ya what; why don’t we chill at your house, and I make us dinner?”
Silently staring at Negan’s last text, you debated the suggestion for some time.
Was it really a good idea to have him over to your house?
Just the two of you alone, with no one around to keep you from doing something extremely stupid.
“Hey, earth to Y/N…”
“So, what ya say… you, me, a quiet dinner?”
Realizing that Negan wasn’t going to give up until getting the answer he wanted, you responded.
“OK”
“Awesome, see ya later then.”
Mentally shaking your head at the decision, you had just made, you end the conversation by sending your address.
You were nervously fretting over your appearance in the mirror as you awaited Negan’s arrival.
You must have changed your outfit about five times already.
Finally deciding on a casual yet decent looking house dress.
Relax idiot… it’s only a friendly dinner between two friends, nothing else.
So lost in the internal bantering between yourself, you didn’t notice the time, not until hearing the sound of your doorbell going off.
“Hey there…” you stared wide-eyed at a broad smiling Negan as he entered through door with a grocery bag in hand.
“Hey… hope ya like spaghetti? It’s my specialty, so I’m treating ya to that tonight.”
“Sounds great…” you smile in response.
“Let me show you to the kitchen.”
You silently sat sipping at your glass of wine while Negan busied himself around your kitchen preparing dinner.
“So, how was your day?” Negan asks, his back to you as he stirred the sauce.
“Busy...” you remark with a heavy sigh.
“Had to attend two domestic disturbances, and a public intoxication, the most stressful part of it all was the paperwork though.”
Negan cringes in sympathy, “no wonder you weren’t in the mood for going out.”
“Enough about me arresting people” you change the topic.
“How was your day?”
“Same as usual” Negan shrugs.
“Dealing with and swearing at shithead kids all day.”
“I can’t believe you’re still getting away with doing that…” you snicker.
“Parents are always complaining” he chuckles out.
“Hasn’t stopped me from doing it though.”
“How you still have a job, is beyond me” you chuckle along with him.
“That’s because I’m fuckin’ good at my job… that, and I’m handsome as fuck” he winks at you.
“There’s no denying that…” you softly mumble into your glass.
“So, you think I’m handsome…?” Negan licks his top lip smugly.
“I’ve always found you attractive” you admit, covering it up with a chuckle then.
“Heck, a lot of kids during our high school time thought the same thing…”
“True…” Negan nods.
“But what matters; is that you did.”
“Don’t be silly…” you blush, waving his remark off.
With a serious look on his face, Negan steps closer to you; reaching out a hand to gently touch your cheek.
“I always thought you were beautiful…”
“Please…” you roll your eyes in denial.
“I was far from that, and even further from it now.”
“You’re even sexier now…” Negan groans out, eyes having turned dark with lust.
“You’re delusional” you brush him off.
“No, seriously… I wouldn’t have taken the risk of fucking you back then if I didn’t think so.”
“C’mon… that only counts as half sex” you shrug his comment off.
“Half sex?!” Negan scoffs, dropping his hand disappointedly.
“What are you? A fuckin’ teenager?”
“Neither of us came” you point out to him.
“So, it’s only counted as half…”
“My dick was inside you for quite some time, which means I fucked you. Even though we were interrupted, I fucked you… and it felt incredible.”
You lift your arms up in defeat.
“Ok, you win…”
“We fucked… you fucked me.”
Pulling your chair away from the island, Negan steps in-between your legs, causing your heartrate to rise.
“Does that day still cross your mind…? Do you regret it?”
“Negan…” you murmur as his hand stroked your cheek yet again.
“I don’t...” Negan confesses, hand moving up to tangle in your hair.
“I still remember how incredibly tight you were around me, it’s never left my mind…”
Your eyes fluttered shut as Negan gently massaged your scalp. When you opened them again, his lips were mere inches from your own.
Negan silently stared into your eyes for a moment, seeing that you were into it as well; he slams his lips hard against your own.
Pulling you up to your feet, Negan wraps his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you devoured each other’s mouths.
Your arms wrap around the back of Negan’s neck as his hands lower down, pulling the skirt of your dress upward.
Completely lost in the moment, you gasp out in surprise when Negan suddenly lifts you onto the island.
Recovering quickly; you begin unbuttoning his shirt as the two of you continue kissing, your hands roaming all over each other’s bodies in a passionate frenzy.
The moment is suddenly interrupted though by the sound of the pasta water having boiled over.
“Shit!” Negan rushes to remove it from the stove.
You were seated on top of the island still as you attempted to even your breathing.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Negan scolds as you were just about to jump off it.
“I-” you begin to say but Negan interrupts with a shake of his head.
“I’m not done with you…” he growls, hastily stalking back toward you.
He then lifts you up from the island, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.
“Which way is your bedroom?”
Staring at him wide-eyed, you silently point toward it, and he carries you in the direction.
Placing you on the edge of the bed, Negan immediately begins undressing as you silently sat almost trance like admiring his every move.
You were snapped out your trance, when a boxer clad Negan roughly grabs hold of your hair; tipping down to capture your lips in a hard kiss.
You softly moaned out as Negan and your tongue battle for dominance, pulling away for air; Negan reaches down to pull your dress over your head.
“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ beautiful…” he groans out, groping at your breast as your head tilts back in pleasure.
Wanting to have some power control over him yourself, you reach out to stroke his cock through his boxers.
“You’re killing me here, Sweetheart…”
Negan lets out a grunt of pleasure, eyes fluttering shut as his head tilts to the back.
With a victorious smirk, you finally stop torturing him, slipping your hand into the waistband of his boxers, and gently pulling out his straining erection.
Negan watched through hooded lids as you lightly licked at the tip, looking up at him; you gently swirl your tongue around it, dipping the tip of it into the slit of his cock.
“Fuuuuck…” Negan hisses out, gripping tight hold your head as you opened your mouth to fully take him in.
Gurgling noises filled the room as you hollowed your cheeks as best you could while Negan fucked the shit out of your mouth.
After a few minutes, Negan pulls away from you with a loud groan.
“Don’t want to cum yet, not until I’ve had that pussy wrapped around my dick again…”
“Then take it…” you slur out, eyes fully lust blown.
With a deep growl, Negan pushes you back onto the bed, reaching for your panties, hastily removing them.
“You’re fuckin’ soaked…” Negan groans out in approval as he goes to bury his face in-between your legs.
A loud cry escapes your lips when his mouth latches onto your centre, your fingers instinctively burying in his hair.
“Fuck, Negan…” you tug at his hair, pulling him up your body.
“I can’t wait anymore…”
“What’s wrong, Sweetheart…?” Negan whispers against your lips, fingers circling over your clit.
“I-need-you…” you slur, eyes rolling into the back of your head in pleasure.
Grabbing hold of his erection, Negan strokes it between your soaking folds.
“What is it you need from me, Baby…?”
“Please-fuck-me…” you whimper out desperately.
Placing the tip of his cock against your entrance, Negan smirks down at you.
“Anytime baby…”
With one powerful snap of his hips, Negan buries himself till the hilt inside you; causing you both to groan out as you spasm around him.
“Fuck...” Negan buries his face into the side of your neck with a groan.
“You still feel so fuckin’ tight…”
Your only response was a soft whimper; your mind void of any and all thought, except for the pleasurable stinging sensation of him stretching your walls.
Negan’s hips slowly begin to rock into you, causing your back to arch off from the bed with each deep thrust of his cock into you.
Once you’ve adjusted, Negan’s hips begin picking up pace. The sounds of skin loudly slapping against each other, along with your whimpers and Negan’s grunts echo throughout the room as you tightly clung to him for dear life.
“Negan…” you cry out, feeling your orgasm fast approaching.
“I know baby, I’m almost there too…” Negan moans out, anchoring his arms under your shoulders for better grip.
After a few more hard thrusts from Negan, you couldn’t hold it anymore.
“I’m cumming…” you cried out, walls clenching tightly around him, triggering him to cum as well.
“Fuuuuck…” Negan groaned out in your neck as he emptied himself deep inside you.
After finally having caught your breaths, Negan rolls off you with a satisfied grunt; pulling you against his side and places a kiss into your hair.
“And that my dear, is a job completed…” he utters out breathlessly.
You couldn’t stop the snicker that slipped your lips at his reference to the ‘half sex’ comment you had made earlier.
It wasn’t long after that, when your eyes began fluttering close as satisfied exhaustion finally took over your body.
Part 11
Tags: @neganswoman @especially @thecupcakevigilante @nt-multi-fandom @tonysterco @stoneyggirl2
#twd negan#twdlovestory#twdfanfic#coach-negan#negan smith#negan x reader#negan x y/n#The Walking Dead#negan#Jeffrey Dean Morgan#JDM
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Emmy I'm being a shit give me song 4 and pando pleeeease (ykw mwah)
Oooof what a song you got @f1-birb 😅
Amnesia - 5 Seconds of Summer
Pierre knew that he should stop this, and yet he kept walking just hoping to find a glimpse of what had been.
His hands were cracked and red in his pockets. Gloves long forgotten, and the cold winds coloured his cheeks, but Pierre kept looking. His eyes lingered on the little ice cream shop where they had first met, where they had had their first date and Pierre had used his thumb to wipe a smudge of chocolate sauce from the corner of Lando’s mouth. He remembered how Lando had blushed when he had held his hand and the way he had let out a soft little "oh" when Pierre had kissed him good by in front of his dorms.
Every little street held memories of stolen kisses and laughter, and it was killing Pierre.
He had tried to be fine. He had tried to pretend that he was doing okay. He had let Charles drag him out on nights out where Pierre had drank until he forgot until he opened his phone to text Lando and realised that he wouldn't pick up.
As he sat on the bench where they had spent hours talking about everything and nothing, Pierre remembered it all.
He remembered the moment he had come back to his apartment to Lando sitting on the couch with tears streaming down his face. Pierre remembered the look in his eyes, and the way his chest had cracked open with the realisation that Lando was leaving, that he had lost him.
It had been months, and Pierre still woke up expecting Lando to be there. Charles had told him that Lando had moved on, that he had picked up his life here and left everything behind including most of his friends to start over. He had seen the Instagram stories of someone else's hand on Lando's and Pierre had tried to be happy for him, but how could he be when all he wanted was Lando back in his arms?
Sometimes he wished he didn't remember it all. That he'd somehow wake up with amnesia, and forget everything. That he wouldn't remember what it was like to love someone so much that missing them felt like missing half of his soul. That he didn't know what Lando’s laughter tasted like on his lips, or how he slept curled up as small as possible while clutching at the pillow.
Pierre didn't understand it.
How could Lando be fine when Pierre was still picking up the pieces of the dreams they had shared? Had it meant nothing to Lando in the end?
Eventually, he got up, and kept walking, ignoring the way the past chased him like a ghost determined to haunt his every move.
(And as he walked away, little did he know that it wasn’t the past that was watching him leave, but the person he wished he could forget watching from a distance, and afraid to admit that he wasn’t fine at all, even if everyone thought he was)
Send me a number between 1-51 and a pairing, and I'll write a drabble based on the song from my "Songs that make my bones ache" playlist
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How's Leaky Cup doing?
i know i kind of fell off the planet haha… the horses are all doing fine!
quick answer:
- leaky cup has not grown an inch, but he is developing into a hunky little man
- yoyo is happily snoozing with her friends in a stress-free field
- chalk is being boarded for training/ leased to my mother. she was out of work for a very hot minute due to bleeding ulcers— but the horse coming out of that recovery had a brand new, relaxed mental state! super proud of her
- bugsy is mostly retired due to arthritis, but enjoys trail rides and lots of carrots— fun fact: two separate dentists have looked at bugsy’s teeth and thought him to be in his mid to late twenties instead of like 18-19yo. not a huge jump and just conjecture, sometimes previous dental care or lack thereof can affect how a horse’s teeth look.
longer answer:
something medically happened to me almost a year ago and caused me a lot of trauma lol, i was emotionally uninvolved with my own life— got a promotion and threw myself into work and away from horses or my friends. yoyo & leaky are boarded with a very nice lady— i get updates and texts on them and their needs so i can still schedule the vet and farrier. chalky and bugsy are being doted on by my mom everyday.
my life is constantly being sorted and re-organized, and in this journey i realized i’d always put everything into caring for animals as an excuse to not take care of myself. thankfully, i have someone in my life that cares and helps me to see where i’m not taking myself into account. it’s really a struggle with my heavy work-load and life responsibilities-in-general to balance all that i want to accomplish for both my career and my own personal interests; to be terribly honest, with both the guilt and exhaustion from falling out of habits and healing, i’m having a really hard time finding motivation to go to the barn. i teach my mom lessons, so i get to see chalky and bugsy every week— but yo-yo and leaky have fallen to the wayside unintentionally, and i’m having a really hard time finding my way back to them.
i’m still a bit lost in the sauce of balancing my own life after everything haha and because of that i’ve been toying with the idea of downsizing just a bit.
yoyo is my forever baby, her and bugsy will happily live out the rest of their years with me. chalky is the horse i usually consider my heart horse— she’s so mare-ish and high maintenance i love her— but she also requires a lot of constant work to burn off her anxious energy and tire out her brain. i wouldn’t trust her sensitive emotions with just anyone, but i also know i can’t commit to working her 6 days a week anymore. if i can find a good lease for her, that would be ideal tbh— she can be veeeery fancy with the right rider, and a really fun trail partner. the hardest one is leaky, who i’m very genuinely considering finding another home for. it was such a great learning experience meeting and working with him— but we never really clicked, and i feel like i’m not the best opportunity for him. through professional training we’ve gauged he’d be a rockstar at cross-country— just an absolute tank on the course. he’s outpaced a selle francis/irish sport-horse cross and proven to be the bravest horse you’ve ever met.
the problem is that he has yet to be started under-saddle, and besides the regular handling of a boarding facility, has mostly been left to his own devices with his boy-band herd out in the field. i’ve never sold a horse before, have no idea where to start— and am unsure if i could even find someone interested in him as he is now. tbh, i think a bigger part of why i haven’t really done much more than just think about this is that i’m also just hesitant to let go. even if we don’t click, i’ve cared for him and watched him grow. he’s still one of my babies, and while it would be a suuuuper helpful financial decision to sell— if feels like closing a big chapter on my life that i thought would never end. it is a constant dilemma that keeps be up at night haha
i really appreciate the Ask <3 i keep forgetting i have tumblr— and by extension this huge community of horse people i’ve come to consider friends— to help me. it’s hard, and i’m still learning to ask for help. i hope everyone has been surviving, thriving— and enjoying their new year!!!
#i apologize for the long response#i appreciate your care#and look forward to hearing back from you guys!
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10 things I've learned as an artist
(Resources below text)
Take a step back - I know we all get a lost in the sauce but if you look at the bigger picture, you can pick up on things that look strange or that you don't like.
You can criticize your art but don't hate it - I've said this before but hating your art is hating your progress. The only way to grow is by learning the things you liked/disliked about your older pieces.
Listening to music helps you more than you think - Every art teacher I've ever had always played music in their classroom. Classical, alt, rock, pop, etc. ever since I've noticed my art had more emotion tied to it and (imo) was sharper.
You're only able to draw anime? That's not a bad thing - Drawing anime can be very helpful when it comes to drawing human profiles and it can also help with proportions. No one can tell you how to make art. That's the whole point of it. It's subjective.
You can totally have multiple art styles - Of course you would hear this come from me. Having multiple art styles can help you find the one you like and it's fun to do. I usually take all the sketches I've done and take bits and pieces i like outta them.
Never be afraid to use a reference - Reference models/artist put their pictures on the internet for people like us! The their whole thing is to help young/inexperienced artist to get a grasp of anatomy, creases, and gestures. Never be scared to use one.
If you're working on the computer, give your eyes a break - This doesn't just go for artist, this goes for everyone. I know I'm gonna sound like a parent here but looking at a screen for hours really can make you tired. It can fuck up your melatonin production because of blue light from the screen.
Don't just give your eyes a break, give your hands a break, too. - For the love of fuck please don't spend 4 hours on a huge piece and not give yourself at least one (1) 30 minute break. Carpal tunnel and Arthritis are artist killers. Rest yourself.
Avoid burnout - (This goes for everyone too) Feeling burnt out can take you out for years if you let it get bad enough. I know your art is important to you but remember to keep an eye on your mental/physical health. Being well rested, having good nutrition, and going on a walk every so often can make you feel amazing.
Show your family and friends your art (if you're comfortable with it) - I like to show my mom and siblings my art sometimes. Even though my mom doesn't get it most of the time, she's always happy to give me pointers and compliments. My brother really likes my art and was super excited when I got confident enough to show him. He thinks the way I draw Kris (Deltarune) is incredibly gender and loves it when I send him my pieces.
Here are some apps and websites I use to help with my art:
Pureref - This is an app I use to keep an eye on references while drawing. You can set it to remain open even when in a different software. It's free but they accept donations.
Krita - This is the art program I use. It's reminiscent to Photoshop (something I'm familiar with) but it's completely free and you can get it through their website (Or Steam... if you wanna pay $15 for it).
Krita-Artist.org - Krita has a forum for their users to help other users and give news/updates. There's hundreds of resources, free brush packs, and tutorials on there to help you out.
CapCut - Video editor that's mostly used for Tiktoks but it's easy to use, free, and has it's own copyright detection system. I use this for animatics.
AdorkaStock - Reference photo website that allows you to choose poses from angles, objects, number for models, and positions. All the models are clothed, it won't jumpscare you. They all also have different body shapes so if you're worried about having to draw a chunky character with a slim model, you're all good on that front.
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where i am
a date who thought i wanted to only be friends
until we started kissing
she hasn’t responded to my texts
coffee with someone i was dating
telling me about their married poly partner
the things they put up with
and weird things that happen during sex
texted a friend about how i now see them as immature
that friend doesn’t like that person
hot and cold
but she only sees them through the stories i tell her
and i run hot and cold
anxious avoidant
fear of control
fear of being taken away from myself and the place that i love
ive been there before
with someone who always wanted to call
who didn’t know how to spend a moment alone
i spilled coffee all over my shirt
i got new art to cover the walls
and some prints from a magazine i need to pull apart
it got hot one day and everyone was excited
and now its cold again
my red scarf is running in the laundry
ive had a little phlegm in my throat for the past few days
hopefully just allergies
drinks with a lesbian
transfem who’s yet to transition
if i didn’t need to go through all this would i have
there’s no point in comparing my path to that of another
dharma my purpose
the call of my life
i ask myself how do i want to be who i want to be
today and in this moment
in this relationship
in this situation
to reclaim some sense of agency when im lost in the sauce
lost in scrolling on my phone
or lying in bed and daydreaming about sex
fixations on absence
im only getting hotter and wiser and more myself
the hope inside my comes and goes
but i can only walk forward
what other option do i have
flashes of insights
moments of narrative cohesion and gratitude
when i say i am glad for where ive been and where im going
a girl with holes
come finger the wounds in quiet intimacy
ill let you be the one to hurt me
pining after you
after you’ve let me down
you called it a pause
did you mean it
a prisoner to your dereliction
i have so much to do while im waiting
love ive yet to learn in the meantime
and books that need reading
ideas that long for encounter
like statues weathered out in the garden
you say you’re afraid to write how you feel
that to take up space with emotion is burdensome
and you talk to the girl with emotions
consuming burning me alive
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more stuff from my paint folder under the cut with varying levels of explanation
my owlfolk rogue d&d character as a shitty little baby because baby birds look miserable and it's funny
shut up
a square full of bugs
weird arcade cabinet thing from a dream i had. i didn't draw it on here but it had sonic underground decals and stuff and as prizes it'd print off stickers and random screenshots from the show that'd come out that side thing. i don't know why but it had a trackball
i was doodling a bunch of critters for some reason. i think it was low-key inspired by @mossworm's art and in my head it was for some kind of critter collection game idea
i forget what this is about but i think it speaks for itself. despite being in the paint folder it was very clearly not drawn in paint
dinosaurs in love
again not a paint drawing but a manic i drew on drawception
tails lost in the sauce (a plant poofed a fuck ton of pollen right in his face and he is not having a good time)
i drew this while sleep deprived and proceeded to break down into a laughing fit. no i don't know what it is and it's called god.png
a miscellaneous character i have named gordy gatorman. he's gay and owns a bakery
the same doodle of my owlfolk rogue plus two more things (she hates everyone)
i don't have an explanation for this one i just thought the belt attached to scourge's coat was stupid (you know this is old because of my "colored lineart only" phase)
i think the original text for this was slightly nsfw but this is funnier actually
"hjpt ;leg.png"
one of my many interpretations of a human sonic, this one leaning more into "grumpy teenager" than anything else. i usually don't draw humans so this is surprisingly nice looking
there's 3 more panels to this but i just wanna acknowledge those sad lobsters in the dirty ass tank at the grocery store. they looked so sad and i always wanted to take them home
it me
me and my @kinslee-the-normal-human's oc. we used to rp a lot and they'd get into all sorts of bullshit with mr. tall echidna always being like i told you this would happen and being generally upset about it but his teeny tiny girlfriend could not care less. this time it was about vampires but he's just vibing
one of my ocs just kinda turns into fire when he goes super and i thought the idea of his clothes burning off was hilarious
hard to explain but my friend made an au where like every possible fusion of two characters that could exist did exist all at once in a weird little sci-fi society and we roleplayed it a ilttle bit. my main character for it was an amy/manic fusion named pippin and they had anxiety
in the background you can see salyut (he was actually made for this au as a shadow/biolizard fusion), maroon (a shadow/knuckles fusion), and... man i forget his name but he was a sonic/shadow fusion. the character in the second to last panel is a mephiles/tikal fusion who was part of the evil sci-fi government or whatever and she scared pippin a lot. i might repurpose pippin because they're very cute
@kinslee-the-normal-human told me that you can tell if someone is a furry based on how they draw dogs so i drew a dog and she said i was a furry based on how i drew the back legs. she was right but i don't get the test lmao
one of my ocs sort of got sucked into amy's family unit and he's in a sort of younger-ish sibling role to her (despite being older) and she makes him very happy and he loves her very much. they are friends :)
pov you are talking to razor on discord and he is happy to see you
this is called "scourge peep.png". i don't know why it's holding a knife
me and my friend drew pokemon from memory at a sleepover. i think from the different art styles you can tell which ones i drew nsjkdgs
i was playing the sims and made a version of gyro on it and he just kept getting abducted by aliens. i couldn't stop him
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#miles tails prower#amy rose#scourge the hedgehog#sonic oc#pokemon#not an ask#ooc#manic's personal projects
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Franken faceup (finally lol) under the cut :) very very long and text heavy because i had a LOT to say with the new stuff I tried :)
^ mockup :) you can see the placing of a lot of the stitches shifted slightly and that it was pretty dark makeup around the eyes! My big inspo for this was early pics of avril lavigne since I wanted to capture that vibe in the way of silly skater girl in this doll. I very much was kind of on the fence on this one, going back and forth on what I would do with the doll (which is why I um was postponing working on the head [outside of painting it] until now) but was convinced I would go with this.
I promise you I had plans to use this mockup. It just did not feel right when I *did* get around to the faceup so I went into it with my usual tactic of ehh it's fine I'll figure it out later which either goes really well or really bad from my experience. I had gotten some tips from a friend of mine who is a PHENOMENAL doll artist so was very hyped to put those into use as well!
I started with blushing the normal resin, not even touching the other colors until I had already gotten this layer sealed so there would be less color contamination (or that was the hope lol)
I just was focused on building up the pinks in the VERY yellowed resin to hopefully balance it out a little (with my experience with very yellowed dolls, this helps a lot in making the color a bit more balanced and life like instead of just. YELLOW. And with this head being from ~2006, she needed all the help she could get lol)
Next coat was the dark purple which shocker. This paint gave me even more issues lmao in the way that I struggled getting my pastels dark enough to really blush the cheeks and lips :/
Like it's there a bit but not a ton and that was ok! My lip lines kept disappearing with my sealant so I added more and more each layer.
Eventually decided that the small areas I had to blush on the teal and the light purple could be done on the same layer, so did that next
Added a bit more of the lip lines and blush around the eye area on this layer too :)
Brows were SCARY bc i was going to be trying new tactics next coat but for now, just a simple pastel outline was my goal! I was SUPER torn on how to proceed with eyeshadow (whether neutral, bright or dark) so focused on everything else (mainly getting the body blushed and getting things to look good there).
Then well. I would like to say i was just gonna do a TINY bit of watercolor to darken the purple side of the lips but then i got lost in the sauce of watercolors, adding moles, freckles, liner, and lashes with it! My favorite thing about this method of sealant (and this is a drawback to some people but to me it's a fun part) is that sometimes dust or small hairs get trapped in the sealant. And why I find this fun is that I can turn it into facial features on the doll, ie moles or scars. It's something where obviously I would prefer to NOT have it in there and I could pick it out but on this doll I wanted to gain as much skin texture as possible on each color so I let it be as messy of a sealant job as I wanted, which is why she's got the moles you see on the normal resin :)
I also used watercolors to add a bit of color where the pastels were not working well (the dark purple and teal parts of the head were giving me grief so I just got my brush wet, dipped it in my watercolors and placed it where i needed it, dabbing at it with a dry [or wet depending on what I needed] makeup sponge cut into small squares. It helped add a bit of color to the lips especially and I was very happy with how it turned out!
I am THRILLED with it so I'm letting it dry a bit and then sealant time! Honestly i do not think this faceup could have gone better :) i was NOT expecting it to go well but it came together and it feels very much like my doll announced her personality of hey. This is what I wanna look like and who am I to not follow those vibes!
Bonus pic w the eyes in (not perfectly aligned bc i didn't wanna budge the paint, I will be making them look a bit better later but I just was ready to get a pic and then put gloss on lol) :)
Also bonus bonus pic of the finished hand bc i am so so happy w it!!
^ gloss is still drying but :)
I'll post pics once it's all dry and ofc more progress as the body comes along but I'm really happy with it!
#twist rambles#bjd posting#Frankenstein wip#i really feel shes coming together... hopefully ill get a name soon lmao#SO hyped to get her done like... i think its really really pushed me to get comfortable with a lot of new faceup techniques and materials#shes such a unique sculpt like honestly her personality just shown through the second i put the eyes in 🥺 im so excited#wig time soon. hopefully#my phone is SO weird about pinks like it really makes them 20x more pink so the last pic is the most true to irl pic in here :)#i have no clue why i was like hey. light blue under the eye but i really like it! i think it adds a bit of personality to an otherwise#kinda normal faceup. again minus the painting underneath lmao#realizing im gonna have to go back over the stitches on the brow oughhh it's ok i am so so so brave... might make it more of an obvious cut#w using some acrylic to make it have a bit of skin there but idk. thats future mes problem lmao#i feel the arms are SO badly making it look very unfinished rn but i think when theyre done it's gonna be like ohhh its all coming together
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Okok hear me out
Darkness at the heart of my love from Ghost
Also 👀 you’re translating enochian?! That is an undertaking, makes me so much more hype for ch. 32
That is all thank u
OOOHHHHHHH okay not only do i adore that song like just on it’s own but god. GOD. “and all this time you knew / that i would put you through / the darkness at the heart of my love” just knowing. knowing someone will be your ruin and going willingly. shaking. brilliant.
realizing late in the game that i should’ve been a linguist bc doing the writing/research/translating was some of the most fun i’ve had ever. i back-translated an amalgamation of prayers/blessings into enochian in a way that i thought would allow someone translating into english to smooth enochian grammar and allegory into the intended english text — i invented a few grammar rules (there are like NO existing grammar constructs, i guess bc the source material is so limited, which was actually sorta fun i got to go wild) and did some mucking about with contexts-of-metaphors/allegory-in-an-angel-language analysis and hopefully came up with something passably legible — i got lost in the enochian sauce (willingly and consciously <3) and i hope it’s entertaining and/or Neat!
thanks for dropping into the ol ask box my friend :)
#hounds#the sandman#enochian?#language is so neat#i had so much fuckin fun screwing around tryna make words in enochian that didn’t exist#like cobbling together references and metaphors to try and invent the sense of words#spent far too much time on it but man i had a good time#dreamling#dream of the wndless#ghost song pick is brilliant#ghost in general#so dreamling coded#vergil says hello#love to chat thanks for the indulgence :) <3
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i’ve had covid so much worse than D. he got away with a little tickly cough while i had full covid experience. i was in full fever delirium that i thought was heat exhaustion. my friend in america and her mum talked me through regulating my temp which i have no memory of at all i was so delirious. the only evidence is the text messages. i woke up a day later, naked, covered in damp towels. my throat was like i’d swallowed razor blades. i lost my voice. i’ve had cold sores all around my nose. i’ve survived on ice pops and pasta n sauce for the past 11 days.
the worst has been the exhaustion and the emotion. i have been breaking down several times a day about everything and nothing. for days getting out of bed to go to the loo was like going to the bathroom in the middle of the night when you’re drunk. i would just sit there for ages composing myself before i got up to make the dizzy wandering along the hallway back to bed.
i was worried about the exhaustion and emotional stuff but my sister says it’s very normal. she’s worked on our city’s hospital’s main covid/infectious diseases ward since the pandemic started so she has seen EVERYTHING horrific that can be seen about covid. she said both are normal because your immune system is taking a battering.
i’m feeling the best i’ve felt for 11 days today even if i am still sleeping a lot and have a horrible cough. i think it’s going to take me some time to recover. i’m just very thankful for the vaccine and boosters and ice pops. even the sugar free ones my parents got even tho they tasted of absolutely nothing. the best ice pops have been the apple flavoured chupa chups ones.
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tagged by @catgirl-kaiju for this ask game, who had better appreciate how hard it was to copy all these questions on mobile
What was your last…
• Beverage: last night's ice water with black cherry drops added that i took my pills with this morning
• Phone call: took a call for work, which is like 90% of what i do for a living
• Text message: i think it might have also been a work thing?
• Song you listened to: postmodern jukebox's cover of lovefool, which came up on a playlist i had on in the background and then i had to track it down
• Time you cried: a while ago. it's personal.
Have you ever…
• Dated someone twice: i'm only still in contact with one of my exes
• Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah
• Lost someone special: that's personal as well
• Been depressed: hon we're on the depression website, what do you think
• Been drunk and threw up: haha yeah, my 21st birthday, it was really bad. i STILL can't drink tequila
In the last year, have you…
• Made a new friend: i'd like to think so!
• Fallen out of love: nah
• Laughed until you cried: yeah of course i like to laugh. might've been the pride flag ohio flag incredibles post that did it last.
• Found out who your true friends are: pass
• Found out someone is talking about you: please, people are always talking about me. i'm hot as hell and unpredictably awkward, it keeps them guessing
General
• How many people on your fb list do you know in real life: who the hell still uses facebook
• List three of your favorite colors: red, charcoal grey, and stygian blue
What was your first…
• …surgery: unless getting teeth pulled counts, none
• …piercing: earrings, but that's boring. it went septum, then navel, then eyebrow
• …best friend: someone i went to elementary school with. we don't talk anymore but we've been through some shit together. we were roommates for a couple months too.
• …sport you joined: i was forced to play baseball as a child against my will and spent the whole time being as bad at it on purpose out of spite.
• …vacation: probably a trip up to the smoky mountains?
• …pair of trainers:
• i don't care enough about shoes to be able to answer this
Right now what are you…
• …eating: taco bell baybee! steak crunchwrap with chipotle sauce, grilled chicken 5-layer burrito, and a chalupa that i got for free
• …drinking: large baja blast no ice, see above
• …about to do: sit at work wondering if it's gonna rain again because if it does then i can leave
Your future
• Do you want kids: nope!
• Do you want to get married: maybe!
• Ideal career: independently wealthy and unemployed!
Which do you think is better…
• …lips or eyes: i'm gonna say lips because eye contact makes me uncomfortable
• …hugs or kisses: kisses
• …shorter or taller: *thinks about my two 6 foot girlfriends* no comment
• …older or younger: slightly older, and yet i keep being the slightly older one in my recent flirtations
• …romantic or spontaneous: this is a false dichotomy???? spontaneously romantic
• …nice stomach or nice arms: tough call, but i'm gonna say arms
• …sensitive or loud: LOUD. i love it when a woman feels like she can just talk atound me yknow?
• ...hook up or relationship: relationship. i'm literally no good at hookups
• …trouble-maker or hesitant: trouble-maker for sure!
Have you ever…
• …kissed a stranger: yup!
• …drank hard liquor: twice a week, yeah
• …lost glasses/contacts: not permanently
• …had sex on the first date? jeez i had to think about it but i have. would have preferred to finish the movie though.
• …broken someone’s heart: maybe? we didn't keep in touch.
• …been arrested: nah, but i've been given the Official Warning
• …turned someone down: yeah
• …cried when someone died: hey what the fuck
Do you believe in…
• …yourself:
• …miracles: yeah i mean there's pretty concrete proof of magnets existing
• …love at first sight: nah that's just thinking someone's hot. love is a process that takes time to develop
• …heaven: nah
• …Santa Claus: no i'm not five and for real i hate christmas, least favorite holiday by a decent margin
• …kiss on the first date: i can't imagine this being a big deal to anybody. literally cannot fathom it
• …angels: nope!
i am tagging...
YOU
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i legit teared up my dude...i'm SO sorry that they reacted that way. i don't know you at all really but trust me you deserve all the best things in the universe bub 💛💛💛my mental health took a swan dive last year too and it just honestly makes you realize who the people in your life really are.
hope you're doing better now boo💕and it will for sureee pay off!! i'm gonna singlehandedly manifest you the bestest of friends should it come to that and until then you're got us❤️
i saw your face reveal, the one at the beach and ???????????????? YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS?!?!?!?!?!? holllyyy sheeeeeetttt my dudeeee. i mean if you were at that beach and i was smack dab in the middle of a jake, bradley AND natasha sandwich???? i'd be looking at you
(that pasta thoo skskskkskk 😂🤤)
i tried out the toast and it was EVERYTHINGGG😭😭😭soooooooo goooood i LOVED it!!!!
i've been seeing these posts everywhere ykk about the likes and reblog ratio being so out of sync and it's so sad to watch. i don't write on here but it must be so discouraging☹️☹️algorithm's shit i agree but us readers gotta do better too. me personally, i have a rule. if i make it to the end of a fic, i reblog. simple as that. it might not reach too many more people just because of me but at least the writer wakes up to a small good thing right?
and i love love LOVE your work!!!! it's lighthearted and so so sweet! that hangman teaching the reader to drive one especially it just hit all the right feels 😭💕
sending you loveeee 🌻🌻🌻
ur literally the best i don't deserve you😭😭💕 you deserve all the kindness in the world too. wherever you are in the world i hope you know i'm also rooting for you!!
i mean i can't complain, yk? being solo also gives me time to do what i want without people criticizing me. i lost a loooot of friends after i stopped texting first - it's the quickest way to see who the realest people in your life are. sometimes it'll be nice to eat alone but other times it's gonna be awk bc everyone else around me will be in small groups 😂
also that sandwich compliment HELLO???? HIGHEST LEVEL OF PRAISE I'VE EVER GOTTEN !?!??!!!! i'm flattered : ') i bet you are drop-dead gorgeous too. body dysmorphia has been hitting hard lately so hearing this made me smile :))
(idr the exact name of the pasta, but it's penne with pink sauce! basically red and white pasta sauce mixed together, and it's nice and garlic-y, and so flavorful. i'm not a pasta person but damn i'd be a liar if i said this dish wasn't delicious. i could eat it forever)
I TOLD YOU THE TOAST WAS GOOD. i had some this morning! it's seriously so good and so easy which makes it the perfect go-to meal.
also that's a super smart rule!! i think i'm gonna follow that from now on too. fic writers are out here doing this for FREE and they deserve all the love!
i also agree with you on hangman teaching r how to drive. he'd be so sweet and goofy about it at the same time and i just 😩😩i need a man like that in my life so bad.
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