Random thoughts in a boring meeting, armor edition:
I spent a lot of time on planes last week and United has LOTR as an in-flight entertainment option so I just rewatched everything again, and I am more convinced than ever—if we’re on Middle Earth fit watch, absolutely no one has battle armor that looks better than this:
I mean, it’s just impeccable. The gleam of the metallics on the chest and vambraces. The intricate design on the breastplate. The contrasting leather plackart. The shine on the scale armor that almost looks like a coat of tiny silver coins. The richness of the red of the cloak, with its own silver brooch fastener. The subtle little leather archer’s glove. My guy is absolute perfection, and that’s just the clothes, not even the elf inside them!
It takes a LOT for me to pick something over Eomer’s armor, which (of course) I also deeply love. The rust red leather with the cut-outs to see the metal underneath is so cool with its balance of art and function, and the horse tail helmet is distinctively bad ass—you can’t miss him in a crowd. (Théoden and Théodred have similar leather-covered armor with metallic decorative details, so the royal armorer in Rohan is apparently just an absolute beast.) Plus, though they don’t always wear them, Éomer and the other Rohirrim soldiers have those gorgeous green cloaks, too, which look so great flowing in the wind when they ride. (And again, we’re not giving points for face or bod, because COME ON!)
It’s a truly amazing look. But I’m still giving the slightest edge to the marchwarden here. Haldir’s armor makes him looks otherworldly in a way, like he really did just walk out of some glorious legend of the elder days in order to come save your mortal ass. Tolkien said elves shine with a special light about them, and Haldir is absolutely glowing in this armor!
Now, is it a coincidence that these two also happen to be the hottest guys in the films (to my own personal tastes, of course)? Actually, yes! I really did consider everyone else! Gimli’s helmet has really cool detail along the cheekbones and across the brow, but nothing else he wears stands out to me. Legolas hardly wears any traditional armor pieces, and Gandalf is free-balling it in his robes with no armor. The Gondorian battle armor is surprisingly plain—the tree device is pretty but subtle, and it could use more color and/or metals that have more of a shine to them. The orcs and uruks are just gross (by design). The Witch King’s armor is cool, I will give you that. But other than the articulated iron joints, it doesn’t have as much specific detail. And there are some unique and eye-catching elements to the armor of some of the Easterlings and Haradrim, but we don’t get great views of all of it and there’s the whole complicated issue of the sourcing of many of the visual characterizations in the Sauron-aligned men that is way beyond the scope of just what I’m looking at here.
So, yeah. Haldir and Éomer. I feel good about my choices!
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