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mcflymemes · 2 months

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PROMPTS FOR FAKE DATING & GOING UNDERCOVER * assorted dialogue for muses going undercover as a couple and having to maintain the illusion that they're dating, and all the chaos, feelings, and whatnot that come with it, suggested by dollhidden, adjust as necessary, send "reverse" for the reversal of action prompts

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

come on. at least pretend that you like me.

if we hold hands, that'll sell the illusion even more.

what petnames do you think we'd use if we were actually dating?

please don't make this too difficult on me.

stop letting go of my hand.

you're going to pay for this later.

that was way too close of a call.

[petname]? that's what we're going with?

could you at least look like you like me for an hour? is that so hard?

admit it. i'm not half bad.

didn't think i would enjoy this as much as i am.

did you take acting classes growing up?

excuse me! i'm just trying to sell the illusion!

do you think they bought it?

you don't look like you love me. you look like you're constipated.

way to lay it on thick. i think you might have done too good of a job.

pretend to laugh at one of my jokes.

i guess i didn't expect you to dress up for this. i'm impressed.

you know, if you treated me like that on the regular, i might actually start falling in love with you.

they have to believe we're together. how hard can it be?

quick, pretend like you're about to kiss me.

you clearly care more about the tiny appetizers than you do me.

i'm just here for the free champagne.

you clean up nice.

that honestly wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

they're looking over here. quick, say something funny.

that... was surprisingly smooth of you.

you don't date much, do you?

we should pretend to date more often.

hey! my eyes are up here!

shit, they're coming. kiss me.

ACTION PROMPTS all of these are written as if both parties are fake dating and going undercover at some specified event, but feel free to add your own scenarios if you'd like!

[ hand ] sender quickly takes receiver's hand in public to avoid getting caught

[ waist ] sender quickly slides an arm around receiver's waist in public to avoid getting caught

[ propose ] sender stages a dramatic fake proposal to further sell their relationship to the crowd, catching receiver completely off guard

[ fake fight ] sender and receiver stage a coordinated fake fight/messy breakup in front of the crowd

[ kiss ] realizing they need to sell their relationship to an important person/people, sender and receiver kiss for the first time

[ coat ] noticing receiver is cold, sender gives them their coat

[ entrance ] sender and receiver approach the entrance of the secret event and discuss their plans for selling their fake relationship to the crowd

[ slip away ] sender slips away from receiver in order to take a break from pretending, and receiver goes to find them

[ off limits ] sender and receiver are exploring an off limit portion of the event space, get caught, and are forced to try to explain how they got lost

[ the big kiss ] to conceal the fact that they're exploring an off limit portion of the event space, sender kisses receiver dramatically once they're caught

[ introduce ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to a very important (and potentially dangerous) person at this event

[ family ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to their family, who just so happens to also be at the event

[ lost ] sender loses receiver in the crowd and rushes to relocate them before their cover is blown

[ flirt ] when someone else shows interest in receiver, sender steps in and makes it clear they're "taken"

[ exit ] sender and receiver have successfully accomplished their goal, and now must sneak out of the event as covertly as possible

[ spill ] sender accidentally spills their drink on receiver and rushes them to the restroom to clean them up

[ private ] in a brief moment of privacy between the two fake daters, sender admits to receiver that they don't think receiver is as bad as they thought

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benisasoftboi · 7 months

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I am so happy with the conclusion of BBC Ghosts.

There were so many things I loved about the final series that I can't even keep it all straight in my brain, I'll have to rewatch it all (and the Christmas special, of course! Must remember it's the not the true end yet!)

But something I can immediately say I loved was what they didn't do. See, that line in the trailer that turned out to be from episode 5 - about there being a pattern to when they move on - worried me. One of the best things about the show, to me, is how there truly is not any reason at all to why the ghosts are there, or when they go. It's something the creators have said over and over, and that the show has always backed up; we saw so many times that, unlike in most ghost media, addressing unfinished business or achieving emotional resolution changes absolutely nothing. Pat hit some sort of emotional resolution three times. And Julian realised the importance of family, and Robin saved someone’s life, and Thomas discovered the truth of his death, and so on and so on. Finding closure isn't the end, and equally, the end isn't predicated by a climatic conclusion. It just happens. And the same is true for why people become ghosts. It just happens. And you exist, and fill your days, and then you’re gone. And no one knows why.

It's kind of the most agnostic television show I've ever seen.

I love that. Every other afterlife show I've ever seen has some kind of reward and punishment system. Or at least says that there's a reason for things, some kind of higher power at play, not necessarily a god but something like it. Even the American adaptation felt the need to bring Hell into it, which is why I need to specify that I'm only talking about the British version here. And I feel like a lot of fans wanted there to be reasons too, or felt like there simply had to be, that it wasn't even a question. I get why - it's not just because it's the standard for ghost narratives. It's really uncomfortable to think about the randomness of life and death. But Mary didn't go because of anything that happened before that day, and Cap was never going to go because he came out, and one day, when they've all gone, there won't have been a reason for it.

Because the real point of BBC Ghosts is that there is no point. You’ve just got to make it through the days, surrounded by people that irritate you, trapped in a confusing world where you’re mostly powerless. And it sucks, and you're angry, and sad, and bored as hell. And you also find happiness in the mundane chaos, and you get really good at chess, and watch the ants in the garden, and write bad poetry, and read terrible romance novels, and gamble money you don't have, and go camping, and play games, and learn French, and watch reality TV, and have sex with a decapitated Tudor nobleman’s body, and dance to old music, and look at the stars, and find that you actually really love all those annoying people after all, and that’s the point.

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts series 5 #but imagine if they prove me wrong by melodramatically killing them all off at christmas though lmao actually that would be hilarious do it #also love so very much that they finished on a gay joke they know who's on the front lines for them <3 #god it's a cliche but really do already miss 'em

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peachesofteal · 1 month

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Hi! Very personal peach stuff beneath the cut, don't like don't read. (tw for mental health and medication)

If you haven't figured it out by now, I am bipolar. I've talked about it here and there in very broad, non specified terms but haven't really done a post where I say it point blank because I just never felt the need, however, I do feel like we've built a pretty supportive, lovely community here and I wanted to explain where I am mentally and why updates might be lagging (as I've gotten a few messages asking about SM and DD). I also think it's important to you know, talk about it a little bit. When I was younger, I would have really liked to talk to someone who had their head on straight and lived a happy, fulfilled life on medication. I would've liked to talk someone who made it through. Maybe me talking about it will make someone feel less alone, or less scared (because once upon a time, I was fully fucking terrified). Or maybe it won't do anything, who knows.

Also, let me be clear: I am not ashamed of who I am or how my brain works, I just feel this has always been too personal to share on here. I'm starting to shift my perspective on the sharing bit, a little. Obviously.

Anyway, the winter to spring transition can be really rough if your brain is spicy like mine. I know most people love the days getting longer, the sun shining on their face, the sky turning brilliantly blue everyday, winter turns to spring and you might get a little bit of spring fever, a little bit excited, inspired, etc... and I feel that way too, except it makes it way too easy to roll upward into mania. It's like one stumble or fall- and the next thing you know you're falling down the rabbit hole. Mania is not some fun little day trip where you get bangs and stay awake until the sun comes up, it is not the romantic mood swing that some people think it is, it is dangerous and could potentially derail my life.

I am feeling particularly... "disrupted" this spring, and have been working really hard to keep the boat from rocking, so to speak. I am overall a very healthy, well managed person (on medication- that saved my life) but the boat is rocking a little bit, and things may need to be leveled out, or adjusted. It takes time and patience, and I am very grateful to have quality care (my psych is the best) that knows me very well and hears me out.

The good thing is I'm still writing little by little and hope to have updates for ongoing works up soon, and in the mean time, if you need someone to talk to, if you feel like you can relate to this, I'm here. I appreciate your patience and understanding in regard to the delay in updates!

#also this could very well end up being deleted so #personal shit #this is like soooo personal idk if it will stay up but it felt good to get it out #tw mental health #tw medication

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 1 year

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what is (chronic) autistic catatonia?

// why specify “autistic” catatonia? //

catatonia most common associate with schizophrenia, but increase realize also happen in things like bipolar & depression.

if look at some of typical catatonia diagnostic criteria in DSM 5 (but in easier words): catalepsy & waxy flexibility, grimacing (hold same stiff facial movement), mutism, echolalia, echopraxia (copy movement), exaggerated mannerisms, stereotypies/repetitive movements, etc… wait! some of these things happen in autism!!! (like 7 out of total 12 can be seen in autism)

this is why important to know how recognize catatonia in autism. because overlap.

catatonia in schizophrenia most common start fast and get worse fast. but chronic autistic catatonia typically slow onset and slow but visible deterioration. (always have exceptions though)

not know a lot about schizophrenia catatonia, so this post largely focus on autism. everything below, when say “catatonia” or “autistic catatonia,” mean chronic autistic catatonia with deterioration.

// before move on— //

sometimes professionals do connect autistic shutdown with/as catatonia or catatonia episode or catatonia-like episode to draw connection. this not talk about that. this about chronic ones with deterioration. personally for community identity purpose i don’t enjoy (already have term for shutdown). but personal opinion aside, again this about the temporary vs long term all the time. if experience temporary shutdown, remember to leave space for and not same as those of us deal with chronic autistic catatonia.

important to distinguish from autism because autism and catatonia share many symptoms. (for example, physical stimming or “stereotypies” is autism diagnostic criteria AND catatonia criteria). autistic catatonia should only be suspected IF have new symptoms OR change in type & pattern of old symptoms. cannot. stress. this. enough. again. it not about IF you have these symptoms it’s about WHEN and HOW and CHANGE. it's about NEW.

and. please do not diagnose self based on one tumblr post. yes even if i do extensive research and cite sources and have lived experience. many many many disorders look similar. am all here for educated self diagnosis because medical system inequitable BUT am also sick of every time write this a bunch people comment “oh never heard this this is so me.” one tumblr post not educated self dx. it not a cool new thing to add to carrd to hoard as much medical label as can, it miserable it makes my life hell it not a joke it not cool. not every autistic have chronic catatonia, not every shutdown means chronic catatonia, even if you autistic and see these signs, may be separate unrelated disorder altogether, like Infectious, metabolic, endocrinological, neurological, autoimmune diseases, all can see catatonia (Dhossche et al, 2006). some of you all will read this and truly think this is answer been looking for so long—great! still, please do more research.

// chronic autistic catatonia with deterioration and breakdown //

the key defining symptoms of chronic autistic catatonia is gradual lose functioning and difficulty with voluntary movements (shah, 2019, p21). “gradual lose functioning” will come with regression in independence & ADLs & quality of life. it usually gradual, chronic, and complex. but can vary in severity. some need prompts on some day & some situations, while others need prompt and even physical assistance for almost everything.

how common? have seen statistic estimate from 10% - 20% of autistic people adolescents & above experience chronic autistic catatonia.

typical onset for autistic catatonia is adolescence. some study samples is 15-19, some as early as 13. some professionals think this autistic catatonia may be a reason for many autism late regression (Ghaziuddin, 2021).

can happen regardless of gender, IQ (yes shitty), “autism severity/functioning labels” (is what most studies use, so i keep, but yes have issues, probably also mean happens regardless of autism level 1/2/3 and support needs before catatonia, but need more research to confirm since these thing don’t equal eachother).

// primary symptoms //

from book "Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach" by dr amitta shah, recommend read at least first two chapter and appendix.

1. Increased slowness

often first sign but not always

periods of inactivity or immobility between actions which appears as slowness, e.g walking, responses (verbal & body), self care, mealtime, etc

2. Movement difficulties (freezing and getting stuck)

difficult initiate/start movement

freeze or become "stuck" in middle of activity for few seconds to minutes

hesitate & "to and fro" movements

difficulty cross threshold/transitions like door way

difficulty stop action/movement once started

affect speech content, fluency, & volume

eat & drink difficult (like movement for fork & knife, chewing and swallowing, etc)

spend long time in one place

(new) ritualistic behaviors

3. Movement abnormalities

repetitive movements like in tourette's & parkinsons

e.g. sudden jerky movement, tremors, involuntary movements, blinking, grimacing, unusual & uncomfortable postures, locked in postures, increase in repetitive movements, etc.

4. Prompt dependence

may not be able to do some or any movement/activity, unable to move from one place to another, unable to change posture, etc without external/outside prompt

5. Passivity and apparent lack of motivation

look unmotivated & unwilling to do stuff, include activities used to like, probably because can't do voluntary action or have trouble with request and make decison.

6. Posturing

classic catatonia symptom of being stuck in one posture, sometimes for hours

7. Periods of shutdown

8. Catatonic excitement

episodic & short lasting

e.g. uncontrollable & frenzied movement and vocalizations, sensory/perceptual distortions, aggressive & destructive outbursts that not like self

9. Fluctuations of difficulty

e.g. some days better can do more need less prompt! other days worse. sometimes emergency can act as almost like a prompt! but fluctuate doesn't mean difficulty voluntary

// secondary difficulties //

Social withdrawal and communication problems

Decline in self-help skills

Incontinence

‘Challenging’ behavior

Mobility and muscle wastage

Physical problems

Breakdown

// autism breakdown //

can be in addition to autistic catatonia. can look like autism is getting worse, even though autism by itself not progressive disorder!

i also call this autism late regression. separate between autistic catatonia & this not very clear, not enough research.

1. exacerbation of autism

1a. increased social withdrawl, isolation, avoidance of social situations

1b. increased communication difficulties

1c. increased repetitive and ritualistic behavior

2. decrease in tolerance & resilience

easily disturbed, irratable, angry

3. increase in "challenging" behaviors

e.g. self injurious behaviors

4. decrease in concentration & focus

5. decrease in engagement & enjoyment

// treatment //

for catatonia (autistic or not), typical treatment is lorazepam and/or ECT.

specific to catatonia in autism, Dhossche et al. (2006) separate it to mild/moderate/severe and give recommend treatment according to that (do not come here and argue about severity labels, because fuck! mild depression and severe depression of course have different suggested treatments and severity important to know. Remember we talk about autistic catatonia).

note: this is one paper! not the only way! yes have problems like most psych/autism papers, just here to give example (of range of symptoms and treatment route!). NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. (not even endorsement)

mild: slight impairment in social & job things without limit efficiency as a whole (essentially still able to function for most part but difficult).

moderate: more obvious struggles in all areas, but ambulatory and don't need acute medical services for feeding or vitals

severe: typically medical emergency, acute stupor, immobility for most of day, bedridden, need other people help feed. also malignant catatonia which can be life-threatening (fever, altered consciousness, stupor, and autonomic instability as evidenced by lability of blood pressure, tachycardia, vasoconstriction, and diaphoresis, whatever any of that means)

the "shaw-wing approach": very brief summary, keep person active and do thing they enjoy, use verbal & gentle physical prompts, have structure & routine.

lorazopem challenge: take 2-4 mg of lorazopem to see changes in next 2-5 minutes. if no change, another 1 mg and reassess

lorazopem trial up to 24 mg. (note difference between challenge & trial)

bilateral ECT, last resort.

mild: "shaw-wing approach" -> 2 week lorazopem trial if no imporvement in 1 month -> if effective, do both, if not, just shaw-wing approach

moderate: depends on prefernece, either shaw-wing alone or shaw-wing and 2 week lorazopem trial -> if not effective, do 2 week lorazopem trial if havent already -> if not, bilateral ECT

severe: lorazepam challenge test -> if not effective, bilateral ECT; -> if lorazopem challange positive, 1 week lorazopem trial -> continue if successful, bilateral ECT if not.

can sound extreme, but rememeber for many severe catatonia (autistic or not), it is medical emergency. can be life-threatening. there's no/not a lot of time.

it possible to make partial recovery, as in get better but not to before catatonia. but overall, many permanently lose previous level of functioning.

references

Dhossche, D. M., Shah, A., & Wing, L. (2006). Blueprints for the assessment, treatment, and future study of Catatonia in autism spectrum disorders. International Review of Neurobiology, 267–284. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0074-7742(05)72016-x

Ghaziuddin, M. (2021). Catatonia: A common cause of late regression in autism. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.674009

Ghaziuddin, M., Quinlan, P., & Ghaziuddin, N. (2005). Catatonia in autism: A distinct subtype? Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 49(1), 102–105. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2788.2005.00666.x

Shah, A. (2019). Catatonia, shutdown and breakdown in autism: A psycho-ecological approach. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

#autistic catatonia #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism #autistic #long post #catatonia #loaf screm

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roachemoji · 1 year

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A “Guide” to working with Artists with Aphantasia

DISCLAIMER:

I KNOW ARTISTS WITHOUT APHANTASIA ALSO USE REFERENCES

This is not going to be applicable to ALL artists (with OR WITHOUT aphantasia)

I don’t speak for everyone!!!

PLEASE Read the information artists provide you THUROUGHLY

ASK ARTISTS WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION THEY NEED

I’m sorry about the typos I am dyslexic and no one is beta reading this :3c

HERE IS THE OG TWITTER POST

I made this guide out of frustration. I was having a hard time communicating with commissioners how much visual information I needed, and that giving me creative freedom doesn’t, personally, work for me. It all comes down to the why; Aphantasia.

... I realized a lot of people don’t understand what that is, and how it might affect an artist.

Note: I am a character artist!!! I do personal commissions!!!! I don’t do commercial work!! This guide is about things that I have found extremely helpful!! This may not work for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

So, here is the official written guide to what I, personally, have found helpful when getting commissions:

A healthy dose of both written and visual information is needed, but the percentage of which heavily depends on the type of commission and how familiar I am with the characters.

- Is it an illustration of a scene between two character? Descriptive information on the scene, the emotions, general vibe, dialogue are more important to the composition - but visual references on each character (and their characteristics), the space, the palette, and any objects would be needed.

- Is it a reference sheet commission? Descriptive information is no longer as important, and the main focus is on the visuals. Descriptive information would be limited to a brief description of personality, placement of certain markings, and/or the written information on the reference. Visuals would be EVERYTHING - every single aspect of that character would need a reference.

Google Docs, Google Drives, PDFs, Character pages (Toyhou.se or Refsheet.net) is an easy way to compile both written and visual information in one place!

What is some good visual information to compile for your characters?

Physical

Age/Race/height/body type

Skin colour/ scars/ freckles/ skin conditions etc

Eye colour/shape

Nose shape

Hair colour/texture/style/decorations

Any additional details (prosthetics limbs/no limbs!/tattoos/piercings/wings)

Face Claims are extremely helpful - and it’s okay to have more than one! It’s good to specify which parts of what reference are important to your character

Items

Clothing/Jewelry/Accessories

Weapons

Personal Items

Companions

Here is an example of how I organize my Pinterest boards for my own Ocs:

Appearance: Every single visual reference I would need for their physical appearance. Faceclaims, hair styles/texture/colours, facial hair, body types, hand shapes, nose shapes, lip shapes, eye shapes

Aesthetic: Helpful for illustrations. Palettes and aesthetics that I attribute to these characters. Art styles, symbols, colours, settings, etc...

Outfits: Outfits and accessories. Full outfits or single items, textures, colours, patterns.

NOTE: It’s important to remember that some artists can only work with certain references (ie. drawn references vs photo references). If you’re unsure/your artists hasn’t stated which works best for them - ask!

I cannot work with drawn references in simplistic styles (anime specifically), and I struggle with using nothing but Final Fantasy screenshots. They’re important when it comes to providing colour or even outfit references - but facial features are much harder for me to translate.

Some artists are okay with things like piccrews and can translate them very well! I can’t.

What is some good visual information to compile for your characters?

Written information can vary from commission to commission; unless the illustration is based off a story, I don’t need a novel to be written about the piece.

Being dyslexic also makes it a struggle for me to parse through written information - I tend to have to break it down outside of the initial commission submission to fully understand what. I also tend to ask a ton more questions when I’m provided more written information than visual - revisions take time and energy.

It’s important to have visual to accompany your written info;

( shout out to @moki-dokie for letting me use their info as an example!! )

Commission information examples

DESIGN COMMISSIONS:

Info given:

Outcome:

Easiest character design commission I have ever done. The information given was so concise that the only revisions were my own suggestions on the design itself.

---

Info Given:

Outcome:

a TON of written information was given to explain the characters backstory, to further drive my understand of the aesthetic and setting of the world the character lives in. The pinterest board provided had a lot physical references, outfits, aesthetics, and colours.

---

ILLUSTRATION COMMISSIONS:

Info Given:

Outcome:

I had a lot of previous information on both of these characters (I designed the top one myself), but I was provided limited written information for this; Holiday Discord call where Toad (character one) is getting a present from Zalem (character two). Zalem is barely hiding how they feel about Toad who is excited.

All other information provided was visual; Outfits and room aesthetics.

We discussed poses in Dms and collaboratively found references.

---

Info Given:

Outcome:

Absolute favorite example of the PERFECT amount of information given and the PERFECT amount of creative freedom given.

I was handed character references with all angles as well as their armor + how to simply the armor. Pose + expression references. A general aesthetic + palette to work with. The setting. A doodle to lay out exactly what they were visualizing.

I have all the information you could need! Now what?

I am very privileged to no longer need to take first come first serve commissions, and it’s given me the ability to really sit back and filter through the commissions that I want to do, and those that I immediately do not consider.

I think it’s important that, before commissioning anyone, you should ask yourself a couple important questions:

Does this artist’s style suit what I want?

Does my character suit what this artist usually draws?

Do the references I have provide the right amount of information for the specific artist I want to commission?

Sometimes the answer to these questions are; No.

... and that’s okay?

Unfortunately, not every artist is going to be able to bring your vision to life, or feel happy with the completed piece!

If you’re someone who has Big Buff Demon Men characters that are drawn in a heavily realistic style - you might not ask an artist who draws smaller, softer characters with squishier shapes and a general aesthetic that doesn’t match your Ocs!

If you’re someone who has characters and all of their references are in an anime style (including other commissioned work), and you have no realistic face claims... maybe commissioning that semi-realistic artist and not providing them with the references the need to translate your character into a semi-realistic style isn’t a good idea?

I don’t understand when some people get upset when they commission an artist who clearly doesn’t draw characters that look like theirs and they clearly... don’t translate them as well. I am making this extremely clear RIGHT NOW before anyone says anything: Everyone can and SHOULD learn to draw the entire spectrum of humanity. From facial features, hair textures, body types, etc...

But some artists struggle to draw characters with certain aesthetics? Outfits? Accessories? You wouldn’t expect an artist who draws soft pastel art to suddenly translate your extremely rough, hard, and hot character properly?

Now, if all the answers are Yes?

Read all information provided thoroughly

Ask questions for clarity

Provide what you can, collaborate on what you can’t

Resources

@anonbeadraws post: Reference sheet for your commission references!

JAMIErightmeow’s video: I have APHANTASIA

Aphantasia Dot Com

#my art #artists on tumblr #guide #aphantasia #artist with aphantasia #UH #damn i wasnt gonna write this much lmao #I hope this helps people #its helped a ton of people on twitter already #UH ANYWAY #if youre about to comment some shit like oOoOigiOIgioOIoI #IT HELPS PPL WHO DONT HAVE APHANTASIA TOO #shut up #please #i know #i am AWARE #THIS is for MY HOMIES #but also use this as a resource if you need it???#kiss kiss kiss kiss

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torialefay · 4 months

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🌕 Moon in Libra ♎️

bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! (pt. 4)

(based on astrology)

✨bangchan x reader (f); fluff & sad chan :(

✨word count: ~3.5k

✨4th part in a series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!

✨i will give a synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship. head to my masterlist to check out the rest of the series <3

✨ author’s notes:

(1) i am doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

(3) there is mention of another fandom in a not so great light. this is purely fictional and no offense was meant by including them. it’s simply for the storyline.

✨warnings: none

✨tldr: chan just wants to be loved.

Moon in Libra:

The Moon represents the deepest parts of yourself, the parts you are usually not even cognizant of. It is the basic energy that resides within you and what you radiate in the most still of situations. Your moon sign usually controls you in ways you aren’t aware of and draws you to certain people that you cannot explain.

• Moon in Libra has a deep NEED for love and beauty in their lives. This can be seen in the deepest parts of them. They are able to see the beauty in every person, and usually can see each person as who they really are instead of the mask they are showing the world. Because of this, he prefers to get to know people well before pursuing them in a relationship.

• Moon in Libra also highlyyyy values balance and peace in their lives. If they suspect that you are bringing drama into their lives in any way, they will most likely (very kindly) cut you out of their life. They will feel bad about it, but they need to protect their peace in order to feel comfortable in the world.

• Because of Libra’s tendency to be people pleasers, they truly seek external validation… they can take criticism very harshly. They do not like the drama and do not want to be involved in a scandal of any kind. It can, in fact, crush them, but they are too self sacrificing to say anything. They just want to make sure that people are pleased with them and they will do whatever they must do to get that.

Chan’s Moon in Libra is also in the 6th house (the house of work, routines, and health)

• Because of this, the balance in his life likely plays a largeeee role in how he performs during the day in work, in carrying out his plans for the day, and in how healthy he is staying.

• His Venus (beauty, love, and sensuality) and Mars (aggression and resolution) are also in the 6th house, meaning that if any aspect of his romance, emotions, or conflict are out of whack, so is he. He simply cannot get his work done or perform well. He is too in his head. That makes him push even harder.

*Important tidbits I learned from analyzing Chan’s natal chart!!! If you take ANYTHING away from this series, please let it be this:*

• Chan has a Libra placement for his Moon (emotions), Sun (personality), and Mercury (communication). This makes him a SUPER LIBRA. He basically identifies with it on another level.

• Here’s the problem: Libras are totally giving of themselves. Completely. They quite literally turn into whoever you want them to be. Because of that, they can really struggle with self image, not only in terms of wanting to be seen in a good light, but most importantly from the perspective of not even knowing themselves.

• Since they don’t have any one SET personality that they present to everyone, they don’t know who they are. Not fully. They may have some idea. They may know that they love people and that they think they are good people, but when it comes down to it, they feel lost.

• So what happens when you have this Libra energy in Sun, Moon, and Mercury? You feel hollow.

• It is very likely that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, Chan feels like the shell of a person. He works so hard for everyone around him, but who is he without that? If he were on his own, and if he didn’t live to please others, who would he be? Nobody. There would be no person underneath the mask. And that scares the fuck out of him.

• He NEEDS to be needed. It isn’t that he likes the attention, but he needs it to survive. Because without it, he is nothing.

—————————————————————

Focusing in now on only the Libra Sun (personality) and Libra Moon (emotions) for Chan:

• As I’ve previously discussed a million times, Libra suns need to be liked. They need harmony and balance, and they feel this through blending fully with others.

• Libra MOONS on the other hand, have a deeper desire. They don’t necessarily want to be loved on what they do, but for who they are and the way they think. Libra moons truly believe that they ARE good people who want to help. Because of this, their harmony and balance instead comes from KNOWING they are good, so they shouldn’t care what other people think of them.

• This manifests in Chan as having this war within himself of caring so much about how other people see him vs. knowing that he shouldn’t give a fuck.

• But at the end of the day, he does give a fuck. And that kills him too.

• So now, not only does he feel hollow on the inside, but he also KNOWS that he cares too deeply about shit that doesn’t even matter. But he can’t. help. it.

• He lives by the mantra “Just enjoy”, because it is something he so badly wants to be able to do.

• He likely manifests this in severe anxiety and not being able to sleep because of it. Throwing himself into work, because who is he if not the producer that his fans know and love? Laughing as much as he can to attempt to fill up the void inside of him.

• He only knows himself in relation to others. The worst thing he could ever experience is being on his own.

• This is likely why he struggled so bad in his trainee days. When everyone else got cut and he was the only one left.

• I’ve heard him explain before that it was a very dark time in his life, and that Stray Kids coming into his life is the only reason he is alive today.

• He is not over-exaggerating. Stray Kids literally gives him life. Without them, he feels like he is nothing.

• He simply cannot exist without them.

—————————————————————————

The last thing that I will add:

• Chan wants SO BADLY to learn how to not give a fuck. He NEEDS someone who can teach him that.

• He NEEDS someone who can show him how to find himself. He NEEEDS someone who will see the parts of him that he cannot see.

• If he can find someone to do this, this person will be his soulmate, I promise you.

As your boyfriend:

• “Hey there, pretty girl.” “You look so beautiful today.” “How did I get to lucky?” Chan tells you these things every day, leaning in to peck your forehead. Words of affirmation are his love language, so he would make sure you got them constantly.

• If you’ve had a long week at work/school, Chan is taking you somewhere beautiful on the weekend. Somewhere that the two of you can enjoy the beauty and the calmness together. Aka, he’s definitely taking you to a giant botanical garden, just to walk around and look at the flowers together. Walking hand in hand, he’d make sure to take breaks occasionally to get a candid photo of how pretty you look with the flowers in the background. You’d wonder off to a tiny side path, taking you to a small fairy garden with lights and a small bench. You would sit, just admiring the lights. Even though you weren’t supposed to, Chan would pick a flower off of the ground next to him and trim it down to just the right length. He’d place it in your hair, resting in the crook of your ear. He’d giggle at how cute you looked. Just like a little garden fairy.

• Chan would adore being your center of attention. He says he doesn’t, but it absolutely makes his heart melt to know that you were thinking about him. Whether it’s a painting, a song, a poem, a muse in any form, his inner self can’t help but to feel so seen.

• He loves it when you obsess over him. No, like actually he loves it. Again, he says he doesn’t, but the way it makes him feel is like none other. The fact that you think that highly of him to pour your entire self into him fills him up with love to the very brim. And he would absolutely be the same with you.

• He LOVES when you ask for his help or his advice. If you ever include the phrase, “I just wanted to know your thoughts because I really value your opinion”, then boom, he’s in love. Feeling needed gives him purpose in life.

• He would adore when you would dress up for him. No occasion, just to look pretty for him. Even though he thinks you’re always beautiful, the fact that you put in extra effort just for him to have something pretty to look at would really make him feel loved. Bonus points if you tried a style or a new item that he talked about really liking.

• If he had a hard day at work and came home to a home-cooked meal and a warm bath waiting on him, he would probably get so excited he wouldn’t even make it to the bathtub, being too busy hugging you.

• Chan is absolutely the type to avoid drama, and especially avoid you having to get involved in any drama at all costs.

• But your boyfriend was no novice to how cruel the online communities could be towards him.

• The week’s newest scandal: that he was saying nasty things about ATEEZ behind their back.

• And damn, did he get a lot of flack.

• What was the proof you may ask?… A tweet. A fucking tweet some random account (that was created 7 hours ago) sent out saying that she had been behind him and heard him saying awful things while on the phone with a friend. As “proof”, she posted the back of a man’s body who had on a black beanie, black hoodie, and black sweatpants.

• You had to give it to her, that was the iconic Channie outfit.

• But what she failed to realize: your man is literally 171 cm… no way in hell is he towering over everyone else like in the picture she posted.

• STAY knew that, but you know how the internet goes. One bad word, and the world is trying to cancel you.

• Well that “you” is now Channie. There’s been an all out fan war between STAY and ATINY to the point that it is now trending worldwide. ATINY trying to trend “#bangchanisoverparty” and damn, it was kinda working.

• When you both saw, you talked to Chan about it. He assured you that he was fine and it was nothing to worry about. He knew who he was and that’s all that mattered. If things got out of hand, JYP would make an official statement saying that it was not him in the photo and they would investigate into the account that posted about it.

• You were so proud of your boyfriend for how much he had overcome to be able to feel that way. You knew he struggled with a lot, and although you were helping him, you were so happy knowing that he was okay.

• Well, until you woke up in the middle of the night to hearing Channie crying softly, lying in the spot next to you.

• You listened quietly, pretending to still be asleep, so you could check on your boyfriend while still allowing him to have his own space.

• Your heart almost shattered as you heard him start to actually sob, reaching his hand up to his mouth in order to stop any sound from coming out.

• Even in his most desperate hour, he didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t want you to know.

• So you just laid there, eyes darting off to focus on the moon, while your back was turned away from him. Listening. Just listening.

• After a couple of minutes, you heard the sobs start to resolve, and deep breaths in began. Good, he was finally starting to feel better.

• You heard the bed sheets rustle a bit as he made the tiniest, slowest movements to reach for his phone on the nightstand.

• You knew that’s what he had to have been reaching for, as you saw a quick, bright flash of light coming in from behind you. You relaxed into the mattress as you heard him typing in his passcode, hopefully to play some light, soothing music to fall asleep to. You didn’t hear anything for the next couple of minutes.

• Content that Chan had successfully cried himself to sleep, you rolled to your other side to curl your body into his. You wanted to feel the warmth of his back pressed up against your chest. To rest your hand at the nape of his neck and hold on for as long as you could.

• To your surprise, your roll over did land you on top of Channie, but a very much awake and very much still on his phone Channie.

• He looked just as startled to see you, dropping his phone down onto his chest. His eyes were red and puffy. The rest of his face followed suit. You hated to see him cry, but you had to admit that he looked like an adorable little fluffball like this, especially with the curly hair all fluffed out from “tossing and turning” you guessed.

• “What are you doing up?” you whispered, playing dumb. You relaxed your hand on top of his chest and heaved your face down into him. You lifted your eyes up to look at his. So beautiful in the silver moon’s light.

• “I thought I heard my phone go off,” he lied.

• “Oh yeah? Who would be calling in the middle of the night?”

• “Minho. He probably went out for a few drinks, I don’t know. I didn’t answer it and was gonna text.” Damn, this boy was gonna do everything in his power to not admit to you that he was just crying.

• “Okay baby, let me know what he says,” you nuzzled into him, ready to watch this shit show of a lie go down.

• You watched as he quickly snatched up his phone, bringing it to rest right in front of his face. Not before you saw what he had actually been doing though.

• He’d been on twitter reading through comments. “#bangchanisoverparty” was pasted into the search bar at the top.

• You felt your heart shrivel up. Why does he do this to himself? Why does he care so much about what other people think about him?

• You sat and stared off, not sure if you should mention anything. You didn’t want to make things worse. But then again, what kind of girlfriend lets her boyfriend lay there and cry himself to death?

• “There,” Chan said, turning his phone off and laying it back on the bedside table. “I texted to see what he needs. Hopefully he replies back soon so I don’t fall back asleep and miss it.” This man is one good ass liar. Kinda scary now that you think about it, but whatever, that’s besides the point.

• “You’re a good friend Channie,” you scooted up to make sure your face was resting into the side of his neck. One arm extended around him to cover him in a light hug, and you just held him there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, your eyelids got heavy again and you fluttered them closed.

• No more than 10 seconds later, they shot back open. You had felt a singular drop of water hit your face. A tear. He couldn’t lie now.

• You raised up to be above Chan, one hand still over his torso, and the other propping you up on your elbow. There were a few stray tears covering each cheek.

• The one hand moved up his body and slowly wiped at the tears on one side, making his perfect complexion visible once again. You kissed over the area with a touch as gentle as a feather.

• “What’s wrong baby?” you whispered while your head was just over top of his own.

• “Nothing baby, please go back to sleep,” he choked out, letting a light sniffle escape him.

• “I’m not going back to sleep until you talk to me.”

• “Please, y/n. Please just go back to sleep.”

• “No. Talk to me. Why were you on twitter?”

• He looked mortified. He didn’t answer. He just laid there, looking off to the side with an expression on his face like he could start crying again at any moment.

• You relaxed off of your elbow and sunk back into him again. You tangled your hand into his hair and started playing with it. Rolling it around in between your fingers. You started combing your hand through it in tiny strokes. You were learning to relax into the silence.

• You let the whole weight of your hand rest onto his scalp, running down it and to the nape of his neck. You repeated this a few times, hoping that he would get some light tingles over his body and start to perk up.

• You slowly moved your hand to caress the top of his ear, running a finger along the outer rim. Your touch was so slight that he couldn’t tell if he was imagining it, but it did soothe him. He thought about how reminiscent it was of what he would always do- touch his ears to calm himself. You knew this too of course. That’s why you were doing it.

• Chan knew why you were doing it too. You knew him better than he knew himself.

• You continued to stroke along his ear, adding more fingers and more pressure until you were massaging his ear lobe. Pressing your fingers into the skin of the area right behind where his ear met his skull. You massaged a low place here, rubbing small circles with just enough pressure.

• You slowly continued to drag your hand down to his neck, working again now in light strokes to feel all up and down the side and front. So smooth, you thought.

• You followed suit with your lips, pulling them to the area just between his ear and jaw. You planted a slow, low kiss to his most sensitive area.

• You felt the familiar sensation of wetness again. The taste of salt. Of course it had been another tear resting there for you to find and take away. You wished you could take away all the pain.

• You finally moved your hand all the way down to find his. You gave it a small squeeze, and then brought it up to relax over your own situated on his chest right over his heart. You sat in silence, feeling the strong beat inside. Just enjoying the warmth of his body underneath you.

• “You are so perfect,” you kissed his arm, admiring how hard his bicep was.

• All of a sudden, his stillness turned into a sob again. He tried to break his hand away from yours so he could cover up his eyes and the rest of his face.

• “No baby, you let me keep this hand,” you whispered. “It’s okay to cry, but at the end of it, I need you to know how loved you are. How so many people would kill just to see a smile on your face. How you can make a person’s day better just by being in it. How every time I look at you, I think that there must be a god, because how could there be something as perfect as you without a creator to make it?”

• You heard his tears stifle. He let out a weak smile. Your heart reciprocated the gesture.

• “There’s my beautiful boy,” you kissed his temple.

• “Now tell me baby,” you leaned back up to rest your forehead just on top of his, noses almost touching. “Do you think a life so full of love like that is worth crying over?”

• His tiny smile turned into a big one, leaving his bashful dimples on display. He took a moment and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

• He let out a small giggle. “No,” he looked into your eyes.

• “Good answer,” you leaned your face in the tiniest bit to touch a kiss on top of each eyelid. Satisfied, you resigned to your position of curling up next to him, head positioned to fit perfectly to his neck, two hands holding both of his own.

• “I love you,” he murmured.

• “I love you too Channie. And I wasn’t lying, you really are perfect. The last person left to convince is yourself.”

Moon in Libra.

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mistymem0ryy · 1 year

Text

Il Dottore x Reader

The Fall of Icarus Chapter 1 - An unexpected letter

Summary: While being a student in the prestigious Sumeru Academy, the reader begins to form a weird friendship with the genius student Zandik, only to then lose said friendship due to his banishment. Years later a rogue letter finds its way to their report-file desk.

The gender of the reader is not specified.

(Minor spoilers for Dottore’s identity ig)// Word count: 2066

Notes: I am quite tired of the constant fics where the Reader happens to not be at a similar intellectual level as Dottore… Do not get me wrong I understand that it could be quite intimidating since the guy is quite literally a genius, but I always wondered how different his common behavior and developing intellect would have been during his Academia years…

Chapter 2

{No beta we die like Zandik’s grades}

People like Dottore are usually blessed with what I call an Imaginative Genius, he is inventive and curious in nature but that is not all you need in order to excel in an Academic environment. Any undergrad level Science student will complain to you about obligatory courses that range from boring classes on how to write an adequate lab report, to mind draining mathematics units that you have to take in order to graduate but most probably will never need in your actual profession.

Dottore is a genius, yes, but he is also impatient and insatiable, and those are the traits that led him to his unlabeled relationship with you…

The Academia is constituted by various facets dedicated to different areas of research, but they all possess one common thing, and that is the dreadful compulsory mathematics and report units. Mathematics is the language of the world, therefore it would be only logical that a self respecting scientist would have a certain degree of fluency in it…And to add unto that, a great researcher must too be capable of describing all observable phenomena in harmonious text.

Dottore… or should I say Zandik? Well, no matter how much his brain was capable of maneuvering itself into creating unimaginable gadgets and devices while simultaneously researching lost ruins of forgotten civilizations, he simply could not wrap his head around a certain set of classes that he deemed utterly useless.

He wanted to go out and research the unknown, feel his surroundings and understand their development, he wanted to acquire knowledge beyond the one present in the various dust collecting books that encircled him every minute…

He wants to punch down that godforsaken door and leave this classroom at this precise moment… But to his utter disdain he cannot.

You see Zandik is quite the intelligent fellow, his curiosity leads him further in his personal research but he must balance all of that alongside all the courses the Academia requires from him in order to finish his initial program. But no matter how “important” a certain class might be, if it doesn't strike the interest of the blue haired student then he will not even glance towards its direction twice… His time is precious and slowly but certainly running out, so he must make the most of it, even if it means missing a rather concerning number of classes.

You would like to say that perhaps, in some sick and twisted way, Zandik considers you a friend… an appreciated company? a tolerant fellow student?...

After years of being in the Academia you have come to recognize the fact that you were the one sole person he did not outright treat with pure hatred. Sometimes you look back to your first year in the Academia, when you were solely a freshman ready to embark on a new intellectual endeavor and happened to be partnered up with Zandik for a class on “The Etiquette of Writing a Concise and Clean Scientific Report”. A boring class that you honestly thought quite useless, I mean haven’t you all been writing for years already? Why would you need a specific class centered around writing a report when you could be spending this precious time on other more alarming subjects?

After receiving your first graded assignment, and looking to your side only to be met with the hellish mess that was your Partner’s crumbling sheet you finally realized why this class was an obligatory module for graduation… You cannot decipher at which point his description of physical phenomena turned into a horrific amalgamation of scribbled equations, and- is that khaenri'ahn script? Nevermind, you do not want to know…

Zandik catches you fearfully attempting to understand the meaning behind his rather… messy report…and lets out an annoyed huff in the process.

He is an excellent scientist in the making yes, but he has a hard time translating the concepts that take place in his head into a mere sheet of paper, and the fact that someone, especially YOU, happened to be witness to one of his intellectual weaknesses, that he so arduously attempted to hide, stroke a nerve.

The moment the class is dismissed Zandik is packing his materials and leaving this humiliating experience, you quickly come to the understanding that his speed is not necessarily a byproduct of his failing grade, but rather of the fact that you saw said grade.

You knew Zandik had a reputation for being a Genius in the making, and honestly a part of yourself could not help but be relieved by the fact that this class was proof that he could also fail, that he was indeed human.

You gather your belongings as fast as you can manage, and decide to follow the boy into whatever corner of this building he has decided to retire himself into. When you find him you offer to secretly help him with his failing grade, which he reluctantly accepts. That is the beginning of the rather weird relationship you happened to establish with Zandik, you weren't necessarily friends… you knew that despite his act in front of the professors and all the well calculated smiles he threw into the air, Zandik didn't actually see any of your colleagues on exactly friendly terms… but you hoped… You hoped that perhaps after all of this he could find in himself the sympathy to see, at least yourself, in a softer light…And the thing is, he did, trully. You simply weren't capable of perceiving it.

It was rather unnoticeable, and only someone with an extremely keen eye and patience would be capable of noticing the slight ways in which Zandik would relax his composure when in your presence, how his gaze would linger on you while you corrected another maze-like report of his, how he would lie to you about being offered 2 coffees instead of one thanks to his Genius-like reputation among the academic staff, and now you would have to drink the other one so he doesn't over caffeinate his system.

It was honestly quite warming, while it lasted at least. You helped Zandik obtain the grade he needed in order to pass that tormenting class, and sincerely hoped that this would not be the end of the untold arrangement between the two of you.

The unnamed relationship between you and Zandik, to your surprise, remained intact after that class, he continued to talk to you whenever you too happened to be in the same room (which even though at first glance does not seem to be that much, it is actually quite important for him since you happened to be the only other student which he does not see as a complete waste of his time), and when he noticed that you were having a hard time with Multivariable Calculus he took it upon himself to tutor you through that fearsome class. It was those tutoring sessions that really allowed Zandik to learn more about you, from your favorite dish to your family history, and eventually to teasingly referring to you only by the name of your favorite constellation.

“Careful there Icarus you don’t want to burn your wings away now do you?”

“Zandik why is the lab on fire?”

It was all going quite well… until the rumors began…

All the compliments that embellished Zandik’s reputation in the beginning slowly metamorphosed into quick whispers in the hallways pertaining to his rather unorthodox ideas, people began fearing for their safety after the disappearances and deaths began… And the initial worry directed towards your person and safety, as being the closest student to Zandik, eventually transformed itself into comments about how you too must also possess some sort of sickness in that head of yours in order to talk with him so casually…

Zandik was ok with people gossiping about him, that is as ok as one can be when your sanity has turned into a theme of communal discussion, but when the hatred that those around him started to deviate from being completely aimed towards him and began to shift towards your unknowing figure, he had to put it all to a stop. You were the only person in that damned establishment that saw him beyond the performance he put up every waking hour, the only person that treated him as if he were an actual human being and not an interesting concept, and no matter how ardently he wanted to be accursed alongside your embrace he couldn't bring himself to actually bring the both of you into your own doom.

He stopped talking to you completely. It's as if in the matter of a fleeting night your bodily presence had been turned invisible to his eyes, your voice echoed upon deaf ears, your pleas for an explanation gone unheard, left to rot alongside yourself.

You tried, you really did, but Zandik persisted, and at some point your loud requests for an explanation had been turned into a fleeting glance on your way to class, only to then become the impossibility of seeing him for weeks on end…

You want to say that you were surprised when he was expelled, but honestly you saw it coming before he did. Zandik, no matter how many times he bashed in his capacity of predicting the outcomes of any possible situation, was always a victim of his own ego, he thought himself undefeatable and it was (temporarily at least) your job to ground him to reality when necessary.

He had strayed too far, and now his own genius could not save him from whatever grave he had dug for himself this time, not even you could stretch a lending hand to bring him from the darkest pits of his mind back to the light…

It has been years since the last time you saw Zandik, out of everyone in your sector of the Academia he was the only one you were certain of achieving greatness in the future, only for that hypothetical greatness to be cut short before he could even graduate successfully…

You tried to find him, after he was banished from Sumeru, no matter how hideous his actions, you could not forget the fact that he too was a human being, you had seen parts of Zandik the world considered utterly impossible, and you hoped that he could see that no matter how tarnished his person could become by the words of the masses, you still saw him as the boy that would ramble about Ancient Civilizations while you studied anatomy, the same boy that would take you to the areas of Sumeru streaming with wildlife and lecture you on all the different properties of the various species inhabiting your surroundings, the same boy that sent you letters nearly every two days when you had to temporarily interrupt your studies to help a sick family member…

But now it has been years, and even though you were able to somehow balance out both your professional research and that for the whereabouts of Zandik, you have found yourself with absolutely no fruitful outcome to the latter.

You quickly realized that you had completely spaced out with your various reports left untouched in front of you, recently the amount of times you temporarily lose awareness only to daydream about your old days with Zandik has become alarmingly bigger, you really should get some healthy amounts of sleep from now on…Especially after receiving a heads up from Alhaitham of a wandering Traveler that supposedly is going to pass by your office today in order to request your help.

You begin to clean up your reports, organizing every sheet according to your personal system until your eyes land upon a rogue letter that you cannot recall having in your possession.

The only tip that could lead to the identity of the sender was the initial -D stamped upon the untouched envelope. You switfly grabbed and began to open the lonely envelope in an uninterested manner, that is until it suddenly fell upon your paralyzed feet, leaving your trembling hands stuck in their prior position, as if you were still holding that now forgotten letter within your grasp.

All it took was one inked phrase.

“Greetings, my dear Icarus…”

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin harbingers #il dottore #il dottore x reader #dottore #dottore x reader #fatui harbingers #harbingers x reader #fatui harbingers x reader #imagine #zandik #zandik x reader

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borderlinereminders · 2 months

Text

They left you on read, and now you feel like spiraling. So the question is, what do you do? I want to specify that for this post, I am talking about pre-established friendships.

First of all, stop and take a breath if you can. A lot of times, we have urges to spam message someone, or send messages asking if they still care about us, or even urges to be passive aggressive because we feel hurt. This can damage your relationships though. If you are struggling with urges, please read about Urge Surfing. The goal of urge surfing is to "ride the wave" of an urge. Another suggestion I have is to try some grounding exercises to pull yourself out.

In most cases, being left on read does not equal rejection, even though it can feel that way. The next thing to do is to find an alternate reason they might not be responding. Here is a list of possible reasons here, but keep in mind that there are numerous other reasons that are not on this list. People have downtime sometimes, but it doesn't mean they want to fill that downtime with talking to people. Even people who are important to them. And that's okay. It doesn't mean they care about you any less.

If you are feeling rejected, challenge those thoughts. I personally keep screenshots from my loved ones that tell me they love me that I can read back when I need a reminder. I also keep a list of things they've done that show me they love me. Here's a post on challenging thoughts.

The next thing I recommend doing is to focus on distraction. A really great skill for that is ACCEPTS. Here's a write up on that here.

Below the read more is some stuff for some long-term coping/communication. It can totally be skipped though if you were just looking to get through an immediate situation.

Sometimes, greater communication might be needed. While no one owes you unlimited access to them, it might be good to set up plans with people who may feel too drained to talk (possibly for days on end), or even friends that may open a notification and then get distracted and forget to reply (and no, this doesn't mean they don't care about you.)

In the first case, it's so valid to feel drained from talking to people. And while people are allowed to take space they need, sometimes it can be a lot for us if it's going on multiple days. It is possible to find compromise. For example, I have one friend who feels insecure if I go a few days without talking to them. For us, we've established a specific emoticon that I can send that says "Hey, it's not you at all. I just am not up to talking right now." I send the emoticon if it's going on a couple days because I don't want to leave them hanging.

For the second case, someone forgetting, in situations like this it might be good to establish beforehand what an acceptable amount of time is before you can send a follow up nudge. While my best friend and I talk a lot, sometimes she forgets to do stuff that we need for the business we run together. We've discussed that it's okay for me to nudge her once a day because she does genuinely forget.

There are also different rules for different friendships. For example, my best friend is allowed to absolutely spam me. The messages can be related or not. But we've established that it's okay if I'm not up to answering, and in this specific friendship, it doesn't drain me if she messages multiple times because there is no pressure on my end to respond.

Either way, it's okay to talk to your friends about situations like this. Is there an acceptable amount of time they're okay with you sending a follow up message? Is it okay if they aren't up to replying to your message, but have the energy to send you an emoticon or even a picture of their pet without responding to the actual message? (Sometimes I have the energy to share memes, or pet pics, but don't have the mental energy to answer a bigger question, and my friends know and are okay with me coming back to the question later while continuing on the conversation in other ways.) If they frequently go quiet because of their mental health, is there a compromise for both of you? Sometimes, it isn't even about our insecurity but that (especially with online friends) we may be concerned for their well-being and would like an indicator they're okay.

Remember that sometimes friendships aren't compatible, and it isn't a reflection on either of you. But if your friend isn't able to compromise and you feel constantly stressed/worried, then maybe the friendship isn't compatible. And that's okay! It's okay to need to walk away from a friendship even if someone hasn't actually done something "wrong."

A lot of my anxiety about being left on read went away as I worked on my own healing and coping. I used to make my life all about my relationships, and I'd feel lost if I was alone. It took me a long time for me to find an identity outside of other people, and it was so worth doing.

#my post #relationship advice

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ketterdamskaelishprince · 1 month

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ada's spectre, and why i'll likely always feel sad about it

here is the promised analysis/talk about ada's spectre. going to preface this by saying i obviously don't know the true intent behind everything and her design, i just like to look, giggle and then make sad little observations which just help me love this silly webcomic even more. so if you disagree with me on something– totally ok! i love to learn and i love to see different interpretations.

there's also a few bits i missed out because i wrote this all last night in a bit of a haze, and i cannot be bothered to expand on some of my ideas, especially when it's just stuff like "BROS SO PARANOID AND RAW RIGHT NOW".

anyways, here we go :) @mugcereal this one's for u pookie <3

so i think with ada's spectre, we first need to look at the instance as to how she gets it, because that always makes things way more sad!

to specify, she turns into her spectre at episode 69, and i think it's really sad how she does it. she basically gets a string of roasts from prospero that go along the lines of calling her "conceited" "twadry" and "... and stupid!" – effectively throwing back in ada's face what she believes everyone thinks of her.

(obviously, as a very big and glaring sidenote, i believe prospero is aro/ace or just aromantic so OBVIOUSLY i am not bashing him for this. bros told her so many times that he doesn't want to be with her, let alone to be touched. that is a flaw in ada's character and is a reminder to us on the importance of boundaries!!!!)

so, ada is basically there, collapsed on the floor in a robe– effectively showing the most intimate and private part of herself as an insecure and lonely girl. and that's when she transforms.

i think it's interesting to understand how this most likely links to her life and how she died. so we know she was killed with an axe, most likely by the man she fell in love with and worked for, and how prospero's words in this situation, hurt her just the same as the words before her death. why?

because they remind ada of what she knows and fears she is: just a stupid, fake and cheap person who will never have the same status and respect as the people she pretends to be and surrounds herself by.

i think it's also interesting that she's clutching her stomach/torso here, and correct me if i'm wrong but that could be a potential signal to the part of her that was axed to death (?). no idea if that's a good shout or not but it's what i first thought!

anyways! now we move onto her spectre design!

first of all, her spectre design eats. like just a personal side note, i love it. it's just so gorgeous and i don't care if she's terrifying to some because to ME? to me, she's my gorgeous little pookie who can scream and show people their worst fears and she looks amazing whilst she does it <3

ok anyways, actual design.

to first understand her design, i thought i'd show you what banshee's traditionally in folklore look like!

typically, they are described in two ways. the first way is a youthful women with long black hair, blue eyes and just super pale. this description could also lose the blue eyes and just keep the black hair– either way the first depiction of a banshee is a super young woman.

this is not the one we're focussing on today folks!

we're going to focus on the second depiction. a hag/ old woman, with red cheeks, a grey cloak and a green dress, often seen to be combing her hair. banshee's throughout folklore are known to wail, scream and cry when a family member had died. to most, the banshee was a sign that death was coming to your household and they are known in myths and folklore as a predictor of death.

now, hold onto the green dress and look at ada's design real quick for me.

here we see a lot of green, which yay! definitely shows signs it comes from the second depiction. i think, on top of it being a nod to the second depiction, i think it could also be an allusion to something else: jealousy.

green symbolism in media can often vary, from meaning new life, luck and also jealousy. and i think if we take in the things ada screams whilst in her spectre form, such as this from episode 82:

you see there definitely is some sort of jealousy there, but this isn't something i necessarily want to focus on, it's just an observation i made that may or may not be true!

anyways, to continue, i want to look at ada's outfit when she's a banshee. i'm going to basically be making my notes i took last night look nicer.

(keep in mind that when i wrote these, my ideas were literally bouncing off my brain and sometimes they're a bit contradictory, but i think that's the beauty of my crack theory analysis!)

i think the act of almost showing her bones to the outside, there's a level of rawness to ada we don't usually see. her spectre form essentially gives her the power to scream out her anger, and by seeing her bones it's almost as if to say this is the ada she doesn't show people. this is the ada that she keeps to herself because god forbid anybody love her (because in life and death it's become abundantly apparent to her that nobody does seem to love that ada).

but then, what i thought was also a super cool thing as how the bones almost act like a corset!

then i got sad because i looked at the bows, and because something dawned on me and it made me start to frown. there was a sad realization to me as i looked at ada's spectre design that even in this all powerful form, she hasn't lost her insecurities, they just become more prevellant. because for all of the traditional wrinkles, hag-like appearance a banshee is meant to have, ada barely has any.

obviously this could be in part to character design and stuff, and yeah probably– but let me be sad!

because ada carries her frills and bows from life here because she doesn't want to be ugly, she doesn't want to be this creeping monster who rips apart people. because if she's not got her intelligence or status or anything going for her, she has her appearance and by god she's not going to let that go to waste. so here her spectre form is, a banshee.

so what must ada do? she must takes her frills and keep her insecurities, her fears and her crippling need to be loved.

another aspect which is super interesting is the stitching on her body. one one hand, it could be an allusion to her violent death, suggesting the man she fell in love with didn't just stop at axing her once, but just kept on fucking going (which, you know: fuck you, whoever you are).

but on the other hand, it could be a metaphor for ada's thinly veiled facade she puts on of being a prim and proper lady (which we actually, interestingly enough, see she looses a lot the more time she spends with montresor– opting to take parts of his language like "ain't" and "beggin'". this sort of leads on from previous ideas people have made of ada willing to change herself to be loved. she swaps civility for the wild wild west all for a bit of love).

ada offers up parts of herself in this metaphor. that's what she always does. she offers herself to the rich man she fell in love with, she offers herself up to prospero (again, look at the. side note. bro wasn't wrong for rejecting her he literally can't like her) and she offers herself up to the acolytes and she fucking barks for them (because i'm not over that).

piece by piece, she strips away everything she is until she literally is just skin and bone. and once she's torn herself apart, she needs to stitch herself back together– because it's against the facade she's put on to look so broken and messy. and so she repeats the cycle again, giving more and more until she is literally hanging on by a thread.

her powers are also super cool. traditionally, as i said, banshees wail when a family member is soon to die/has died, and is often like an omen/predictor of death. so yeah, ada having a banshee scream makes sense. but the whole 'fear itself' is also super cool. i kind of like that she has this– because its sort of satisfying for her, the girl who's been pushed over but still comes running back, to watch as people become paralysed with fear. idk, retribution or whatever.

i'm going to leave you with this not very profound thing i wrote last night (and then just some other mumblings):

i think that although spectres are super powerful and also just a very fantastic concept, they're also fragile. spectres are quite literally the monster inside of you. yet here ada's monster is, and with all her bows and revamped dress of a banshee (or potentially an allusion to her life as a maid) she tries desperately to be anything but that. because to here it's ugly and it's too much of her on display. and with some much of you on display comes the very fear that if you are hated, disliked or something repulsive, you no longer have anything to blame on anybody else. you just have yourself to blame.

(as morella says here in episode 88).

i'm not saying ada isn't deeply flawed, because she is. she has so much fucking baggage and insecurities that they literally forbid her from doing the right thing sometimes. i don't think she's a good person, but i also think that she has the opportunity to be a good person/ do a semi-good/ non-bad thing, and all she has to do is take it. but i also think it's nice how that's shown in her spectre design.

and, you know, if none of this makes sense, that's also fine!

anyways, yeah. somebody tell me never to make a random analysis at night again because it's a bit of a bitch to translate in the morning.

#ada nevermore #nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #nevermore #ada #ada nevermore analysis #nevermore character analysis #character analysis #adas spectre #is that even how you spell it #anyways i love her for who she is #my precious little screaming meow meow #LMAO #ok idk what i'm talking about anymore LMOA #forgive if there are typos because at this point i am TOO TIRED to do anything about it

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zikkytheblicky · 3 months

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ofcc!! srry this is late.

☆ for my ml, angel anon.

(NON-BLACK PEOPLE DNI. THE SLUR IS USED MULTIPLE TIMES)

⊹content warnings⊹

(don't scroll past this, it's important since i changed up gojo n’ geto + readers attitude 😃)

- both gojo and geto blasian so dont be surprised if you hear suguru’s racist comments and satoru and suguru js speaking ghetto ☠️..

-feminine male reader- anon didnt specify but id they want me to change this i will make a separate post for them 🫶🏾!!

-black reader cuz angel anon is black.

-not smut nor fluff.. i forgot if this type of stuff is called lemon or lime! sorry 😭💓.

-reader gets kinda aggressive im ngl to you like he did not take gojos little antic lightly

-kinda made reader gojo n suguru ghetto. idk i didnt think ts with much thought

-gojo tries to get his lick back, forgetting you were a real 🥷🏾 despite being feminine. he needs to stop playing with m!reader fr

-you’re very spoiled because i’m a SUCKERERR for spoiled reader x jjk character.

-this is not proofread i’m so sorry 😭!! + i did this like at 11-4 or sum

-sadly anon didn’t specify if they wanted top surgery reader or not so to be safe i’m just gonna say he does!!

-use of you/your pronouns except for when gojo is yapping/complaining to you’re brattiness to getou.

-no sourcerer au.

-rich gojo (SHOCKING 😨)

a/n: i hate this piece it sounds so tacky 😭..

♡︎NOT CAPITALIZED ON PURPOSE !!

to say you weren’t usually bratty is an understatement— it rarely happens unless you’re joking or you’re being bratty towards someone else not gojo.

it all happened first, when gojo took you to get your nails done and you didn’t give him your signature move for when he gives you something you want— pulling on his collar/tie and kissing on his cheek along with a sweet, “thank you satoru ! i love you! see you later!” or something along those lines— you instead give him a mere glance and a dry, bored “bye, gojo.” before walking over to your bestfriend(s) who were also getting their nails done. and by the way you were giggling into your palm when you thought satoru left shows you were trying to get him riled up.

satoru thought it was cute ,

at first. then it started getting him annoyed and a bit triggered.

and what does he do when he doesn’t agree with something you do?

…

obviously don’t tell you about it and instead goes to bother his best friend- suguru- about it instead.

“he’s been acting so bratty suguru. i remember when i got him his favorite color of glittery roses and all he did was say a dry response like, “oh thanks, gojo.” HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY SATORU OR A PET NAME RAGGHH” satoru screamed out into his phone microphone, his eyes puffy from all the fake crying he did earlier.

“don’t you have work to do? also he’s just going through a phase satoru, you’ll live.” suguru said dryly, the sound of the clicking of a keyboard and the sounds of a pen being smoothly dragged across a paper filling satoru’s apple headphones.

“you wouldn’t understand suguru..” satoru whined, blinking his bright blue eyes at the camera. His pouting lips sucking up the last bit of juice from his drink.

“all you have to do is punish him y’know?” suguru muttered, he shuts his book staring at satoru with a disgusted face. “Ew . stop pouting your lips while making fuckin sucking motions you look like a monk.” suguru sniffed, grabbing his bonnet and putting his hair up.

“i dont wanna hurt himmmm-“ satoru whined, ignoring suguru’s racist comment.

“not like that, durdur.”

satoru could practically hear the roll of geto’s eyes as he saw the younger dark skinned man pick up his phone and turn off his camera- most likely about to get ready for bed- it was 11 am after all.

“in a sexual way, nigga.” suguru mumbled out, the sounds of crinkling sheets flowing in and out of satoru’s ears nicely.

“oh my god… suguru you mastermind.” gojo smirked, grabbing his macbook and opening it swiftly.

“jesus christ what are you gonna do, satoru?” suguru asked with a sigh, rubbing his temple soothingly- he sounded so tired of gojo’s antics.

“ight so the plan is..”

it is late. you just got home from an interview of what life is like being satoru gojo’s husband— you hate those types of reporters. instead of worrying about what the content of your creator was, they worried about your status. oh, how annoying they are.

you kick off your jordans, rubbing your eyes gently- thankfully you didn’t put on any eyeliner.

you head into the first kitchen on the first floor, went into the pantry and took out a fruit snack before you head upstairs- when you were pulling up into your driveway all of gojo’s cars were in his drive so you know he is home.

i’m surprised he isn’t cuddling up on me already.. You thought with a snort, twisting your curls in boredom.

your curls bounce as you skip your way up the carpeted stairs, entering you and gojo’s shared room.

“satoru-.”

there, you say your husband in a thin, silky robe, nike pro boxers on, his 24 carat gold stud earrings glistening in the low light the seeped into the room, a thin 24 carat gold necklace, and slides on. he was at his desk, typing away on his phone, he didn’t even notice you until you cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest.

the albino haired man lazily turned over to you, a bored look on his face though you could see a faint smirk on your husband’s face.

what is this nigga smirking for ? you thought with a scoff, your slippers making loud noises as you walk over to him.

“oh. hi, ‘mn’.” satoru’s tone was bored and disinterested, he went back onto his phone and started typing quickly. and he had such an excited expression, a ghost of a smile on his lips like he was trying to hide the fact that he was more interested in whoever he was texting instead of you.

and that pissed you off. like who the fuck is this nigga talkin too that catches his attention more than you? his boyfriend ?

that damn phone i'm about to throw that shit.

“satoru.”

no answer.

“satoru?”

no answer again. who the fuck was this negro on the phone with?

“SATORU-“ you yelled, pulling his ear out from his bonnet- being careful not to pull his earring out. sure, you were annoyed at him but you aren’t going to hurt him.

“what the fuck- what? damn.” gojo groaned, putting his phone screen to his chest with an annoyed glare.

who the fuck does he think hes talking too?

“nigga who do you think you’re talking to? i’m not the one stop trippin’.” you crossed your arms, releasing satoru’s ear.

“what did i even do?” satoru responded too calmly- the fucker had a visible smirk on his face too.

silence .

silence is what you “responded” with before smashing your lips with satoru’s, grabbing his white dreads and rubbing his scalp gently- completely opposite from your prior action.

satoru’s tongue licked almost every corner of your mouth, tasting the bitter vodka taste left in your mouth.

you both pulled away with a string of spit following each other's mouths.

“don’t dish out the heat if you cannot take the heat back, darling~!” satoru purred out, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you into his lap.

you tsked in response, resting your head on his neck.

and maybe later that night satoru punishes you by forcing you to cockwarm him for an hour straight.

(you failed after 10 minutes.)

ts is short asl ik but like 🙁

#male reader #x male reader #gojo satoru x male reader #ftm reader #black male reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #jjk x male reader #jjk

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leportraitducadavre · 2 months

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Alright, since I’ve received multiple asks about who I ship Sasuke with (or if I have a problem with specific ships), I’ll reiterate my posture regarding shipping culture:

I think it’s very poor, borderline shortsighted, to focus so incredibly much on the possibility of a character –that never specified being sexually interested in anyone, having a romantic partner. Besides the fact that Sasuke is a very traumatized man, a survivor of state-sanctioned genocide which affects his libido to the point of it being non-existent, the entirety of his characterization revolves around him seeking justice for his family. No. It’s not about his bond with Naruto, it’s not about his apparent sexual tension with Karin, nor is it about his crush (the fuck?) on Sakura.

It’s Naruto the one whose characterization revolves around his bond with Sasuke, it’s Karin the one whose characterization revolves around her sexual desire for Sasuke, and it’s Sakura the one whose characterization revolves around her crush on Sasuke –Sasuke’s entire arc differs completely from theirs, as his entire goal, through the entire series, is about seeking justice for his family.

What happens once Sasuke realizes he won’t be able to kill Itachi if he stays in Konoha? He leaves because he chooses his goal as an Avenger before his connection with Team 7 (yes, Itachi’s presence also reminded him of the imminent threat of having bonds that Itachi could easily destroy, but he doesn’t leave to protect T7, but to seek power to kill his brother). What happens once Sasuke kills Itachi? He learns about the truth behind the UCM, and decides to barge into the Kage Summit to kill Danzo and not return to Konoha. What happens once he kills Danzö? He still decides not to return and plans to bring the entire system down. I mean, where is his “bond with Naruto” in all this? Where is his “sexual tension” with Karin in all of this? Where is Sakura’s relevance in all of this? At no single moment does he focus on these bonds, often questioning the reason why these people are so adamant about pursuing him. Am I saying that they don’t matter at all to him? No, and you know that’s not the point of the post unless you’re looking for a reason to get upset in which case, I cannot help you. What I’m saying is that they’re not relevant to his main goal or characterization, as that power rests upon Itachi’s shoulders. Each character here mentioned has either more or less importance throughout his journey, but none of them are detrimental to his objective and none of them are important enough for him throughout the manga to deviate from his ambition (he even tried to kill each one of them when he deemed them a liability or they threatened the continuation of his mission).

Who do I ship Sasuke with? Nobody, I don’t enjoy a single pairing that is attributed to him, and I wish the fandom would realize that the entire plot revolves around the actions and consequences of a fascist regime, and not about who wanted to secretly or not so secretly fuck who, or who deserve his dick and who doesn’t. Yes, I’m being blunt, and some of you will think I’m exaggerating, but if you don’t see me talking about ships as often as you see me speaking about feminism or politics inside the Naruto manga, well, what a shocker, there’s a reason for it.

And to prevent people from putting words in my mouth, let me say this: I’m not saying you can’t enjoy a ship –go crazy if that’s what you want, do art, fanfics, and whatever rocks your boat, I won’t go after you trust me, but oh my god how come some of you would give a “potential romantic couple” so much more relevance than the actual plot?! Sasuke plainly and continuously reminds the characters and the readers what his true goal is and what he wants, and still, some of you will force a deep reading of a bubble of speech detached from his overall characterization to prove that he was smitten with x,y,z all along!

#personal #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke #pro sasuke uchiha #anti shipping culture #anti shipping #anti sns #anti sasunarusasu #anti ss #anti sasusaku #anti sk #anti sasukarin #anti sns fandom #anti ss fandom #anti sasusaku fandom

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