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kkpwnall · 2 years

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wine & dine

or: the quickest way to a man’s heart (and parts beyond)

((edit: now on ao3))

[ @corrodedcoughin laid down a reverse uno card, and i am extremely susceptible to gentle persuasion. i know you asked for headcanons, but apparently i have lots of thoughts about eddie taking a cooking class to wine and dine steve so this one got a bit away from me. anyway, hope you like it, and hope your day got better. ]

“Shit!”

Steve’s steps up the trailer stairs falter when he hears Eddie’s shout. He balances a tray of cupcakes and a bouquet of red daisies in one hand and knocks on the door.

“Fuck!” Eddie shouts again, followed by a loud banging and clanging.

“Eddie?” Steve knocks again. He’s been here often enough since they started dating that he knows he doesn’t have to knock, that he’s welcome to just walk right in. But it’s their date night, and he wants to do this right.

More banging, more clanging, more cursing. Then the alarm starts. That’s enough for Steve.

“Eddie!” He bursts through the door and skids to a stop halfway to the kitchenette. The trailer is full of smoke and Eddie is right in the middle of it, waving a dish towel in front of the screaming smoke detector. Steve drops the cupcakes and the flowers on the small kitchen table and grabs a flaming pan of… something off the burner, moving it to one of the empty burners further back on the range and cutting the gas.

Eddie gives up trying to fan the smoke away, and climbs up on the counter to rip the alarm out of the ceiling instead. Steve grabs his abandoned towel and flings open the kitchen window, fanning the smoke out as Eddie manages to get the thing off the ceiling without bringing the tiles crashing down on their heads.

He rips the batteries out of the back of it and turns to look at Steve, panting like he’s run a marathon. Eddie’s thighs are eye level with Steve, who has to drag his eyes up and away from his favorite gray sweatpants, the ones that always make him a little crazy, past the old sleeveless band shirt cropped above Eddie’s waist, to finally look up at him. Eddie’s curls are spilling loose from the bun he’d tied them up in, framing his flushed face and wild eyes.

“You’re early,” is all he says, looking Steve up and down. He suddenly feels over-dressed, standing there in the middle of the tiny kitchen with his maroon button down securely tucked into his best pressed khakis. He even wore the leather shoes with the little tassels on them.

Steve tugs self-consciously at his shirt and looks around the kitchen. “It’s date night,” he says simply. “Thought I'd see if you needed any help with dinner.”

It looks like Eddie’s used every dish in the house. Twice. He’s crouched on the kitchen counter now, looking like a wild animal that might bolt at any sudden movements. Steve slowly reaches out a hand and tucks some of those stray curls behind Eddie’s ear. “Seems like you’ve got it handled though.”

Eddie sighs and flops down so he’s sitting on the counter. He puts his head in his hands and mumbles, “this isn’t how this was supposed to go.”

“What are you talking about? I’m here, you’re here, you made us…” he looks over at the softly smoldering pan, trying to figure out what exactly Eddie’s been making, “dinner? Sounds like the perfect date night to me.”

Eddie just groans and shakes his head, hiding behind his hands and his hair.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad, it’s only a little burnt. We can still salvage it.” He throws the towel on his shoulder, and unbuttons his cuffs, starts to roll up his sleeves. “What are we having?”

“Beef stroganoff,” Eddie mumbles through his hands.

“If you’re going for medium well, I think it’s done.”

Eddie just groans. “Steve…”

“Hey, hey,” Steve puts his hands on Eddie’s wrists, gently pulling them away from his face.

Eddie looks close to tears. Steve brushes Eddie’s bangs out of his eyes with one hand and cups his cheek with the other. “I’m sorry. You just surprised me, I didn’t know you could cook like this. I thought we were gonna have Macaroni a la Eddie tonight.”

Eddie makes a face, and looks away, mumbling something so quietly, Steve wouldn’t have known he’d said anything if he didn’t see his lips move. Steve dodges down and around, trying to catch Eddie’s gaze again as he plays keep-away with his eyes.

“Didn’t catch that, Eds.”

Eddie sighs dramatically and half shouts, “I’ve been taking a cooking class down at the learning annex!”

“Oh…” that pulls Steve up short. That’s time, that’s effort, that’s… serious.

“The head chef at Enzo’s has a class every Thursday night, and it went fine when I made it there! I don’t know what happened tonight!”

“Well there’s your problem, you’ve got an Italian chef teaching you a German recipe.”

“Pretty sure it’s Russian, dude,” Eddie says with a roll of his eyes. “And it’s not just Italian, she teaches a different recipe every week.”

“Ok so, let’s figure this out. Where’s the recipe?”

Eddie looks around and fishes out a slightly singed, very crumpled piece of paper from under the corner of the cutting board with a half-chopped onion on it. It’s less a recipe and more doodles and half-written thoughts in Eddie’s chicken-scratch. Some of the ingredients don’t even have a measurement next to them, just ‘brandy,’ ‘Worcestershire,’ ‘beef’. Nothing like how Steve bakes, with everything carefully measured out and plotted before he even starts mixing.

It also becomes rapidly apparent that Eddie doesn’t have half the ingredients the recipe calls for, as Eddie directs Steve from his perch on the counter, translating his hieroglyphic scrawl and making substitutions on the fly. But together they manage to cobble together something that might resemble a technical definition of beef stroganoff. It’s got beef at least, all the burnt parts scraped off, and noodles. Steve figures it’s close enough.

Eddie rinses out an old coffee grounds can to put the flowers in while Steve plates their dinner. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve catches Eddie holding the bouquet to his nose, a soft smile on his face.

When they sit down at the scratched and dented and much-loved table, Eddie quickly scarfs down several bites. He chews thoughtfully and makes a face. Steve’s barely got the fork halfway to his mouth when Eddie whisks his plate away and throws the whole thing in the garbage can.

“Hey, I was eating that!”

“No, you’re not,” Eddie says fiercely. “You’re not getting poisoned tonight.”

Steve takes the bite on his fork defiantly and stares Eddie down as he chews. It’s somehow both over-cooked and underdone. He chews and chews and eventually swallows, and does not make a face.

Eddie stares back, hands on his hips, working his jaw back and forth. Steve twirls his fork in the air. “I came hungry tonight. I’ll eat it out of the trash can, don’t tempt me.”

He holds Eddie’s gaze for a beat longer, then he’s up and out of his chair, pivoting around Eddie like he’s on the basketball court. He just manages to stick his fork in the trash can before Eddie jumps on his back.

“At least let me get the plates out of there!”

“No!”

They wrestle for a few minutes, knocking things off the counter, and making a bigger mess than the one Steve walked in on tonight. Eddie grapples for his hands, but Steve’s arms are longer so he gives up and puts his hands over Steve’s eyes, making him stumble backwards into the refrigerator. The cereal boxes on top fall off as Eddie gives a small “ooft” and slides off his back.

Steve whirls around and pins Eddie to the fridge with his hands on his hips. His lips find Eddie’s and he kisses him fiercely, already breathless. Eddie holds out for a moment, just for a beat, then he winds his arms around Steve’s shoulders and sinks his hands into Steve’s hair with a deep sigh. His mouth parts and Steve deepens the kiss, titling his head just so, tongues brushing, hot, desperate, feverish. He drags his hands slowly up Eddie’s waist, toying with the raw edge of his cropped shirt, thumbing over his ribs. Just as slowly, he drags his hands back down, plucking at the waistband of those stupid sweatpants. He breaks the kiss to trail his lips along Eddie’s jaw, down his neck. He drags his tongue over Eddie’s collarbone and scrapes his teeth over the spot where his neck meets his shoulder.

“Why have you been taking cooking classes?” Steve breathes into his neck, trailing his nose back up under his ear.

“Don’t make me say it…” Eddie says with a groan.

“Eddie…” He sinks his teeth into Eddie’s pulse point, and soothes the bite with his tongue.

Eddie growls, he actually growls. Steve feels it rumble from Eddie’s throat under his lips as Eddie gently tugs on his hair in frustration. It sends a thrill of electricity straight down Steve’s spine, making him press closer. “Because I wanted to learn how to make fancy recipes for you! You deserve better than box mac and cheese!”

Steve pulls back, just slightly, just enough to see Eddie’s eyes, just enough so Eddie knows he’s serious.

“I love box mac and cheese. Especially when you cut up the little hotdogs to put in it? With the hot sauce? That’s what makes it Macaroni a la Eddie.”

“You’re Steve Harrington,” Eddie says desperately, “you deserve to be wined and dined. And I—”

“Hey,” Steve says, squeezing Eddie’s hips in his hands, shaking them gently. “You’re Eddie Munson, if anyone deserves to be wined and dined it’s you. I’ll get dressed up and take you out every night. Candlelight, roses, you name it.” He can’t resist, doesn’t even try to resist, diving back in for another kiss, gently dancing his fingers from Eddie’s hips to his waist, then smoothing them back down. “I’ll hold your hand and shout about it from the rooftops. ‘I’m dating Eddie Munson and we’re more in love than you’ll ever be!’”

“Always a competition with you jocks,” Eddie rolls his eyes and grouches, but his tone is fond.

“It is, and I’m winning.” Steve pecks a kiss on Eddie’s nose.

Eddie catches his lips, draws him back down for another kiss. It’s less frantic but just as heated. Until Steve’s stomach growls and Eddie breaks away laughing.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I came hungry,” Steve laughs, pressing his forehand against Eddie’s.

“Yeah, well… sorry I messed up dinner. I think my cheffing days are over. Glad you like box macaroni, ‘cause that’s all we’re having from here on out.”

“No way,” Steve says, shaking his head. “I just got used to fancy home cooking, I need to taste your other recipes. And you need a sous chef.”

Eddie looks at him skeptically. “Steve, I almost burnt down the trailer tonight, you really want to try that again?”

“Absolutely,” Steve says immediately, kissing him lightly again.

Eddie still doesn’t look convinced though, so Steve says, “let’s make a deal, ok? You can experiment as much as you want in the kitchen, try anything at any time, as long as you let me help. And, if it’s truly inedible, which I do not for a single second believe is possible, I’ll buy us a pizza. Deal?”

Eddie’s eyes flick between both of Steve’s as he thinks it over. He bites his lip and nods. “Deal.”

“Good,” Steve kisses him again, sealing the deal. He pulls Eddie away from the fridge and nudges him towards his bedroom with a wink. “Go get changed, we’ve got a date tonight.”

Eddie laughs, “what, you don’t like the sweatpants?”

“I love the sweatpants,” Steve says with feeling. “Which is why you need to get changed right now. Otherwise I won’t be able to keep my hands off you for the rest of our date.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart,” Eddie says with a cheeky wink of his own.

Steve playfully slaps at his ass and starts looking for the phone book. “The Works?”

“No olives,” Eddie reminds him.

“Extra olives, got it,” Steve says, picking up the phone.

Eddie sticks his tongue out at him, backing away towards his room.

Steve quickly dials the number and fumbles through the order. They’ve got at least thirty minutes before the delivery shows up. If he hurries, maybe he can take those sweatpants off with his teeth.

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klance-brainrot · 4 months

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klancing first light by hozier

"You spoke some quick new music that went so far to soothe the soul"

Lance about Keith shortly after they got together. They're laying on Keith's bed together and talking about how long they were pining for each other. Keith admits he's been pining for Lance for over a year at this point because he realized the phenomenon that is Lance McClain once they were on the castle for a few weeks. He was so impressed by that bubble of light in the form of a boy with soft brown skin and brown eyes, who managed to take this light with him wherever he went. Keith, broody mcEmo, never managed that and was so impressed by it. He tells Lance about his impression of him and how quickly he realized he couldn't look away from that light in shape of a boy. Lance, who was chosen by blue but never FELT chosen by blue - or anyone for that matter - starts crying because this is the first time he feels like the first option for someone. He's the first choice and it soothes the part deep inside of his soul that was so scared to end up alone.

"Some part of me must've died the first time you called me baby"

The first time Lance calls Keith "mine", Keith instinctually dislikes it. He's not a thing to be owned, he's not something to be claimed "Lance's", hes not someone's. Because they've been together a while and they can read each other like a book most of the time, Lance realizes he must've said something wrong and files that in his brain under "need to talk about later".

The next evening, when they've returned to Lance's room after dinner, Lance carefully asks what he did wrong. Keith is quick to assure him that he did nothing wrong. After some probing and poking from Lance he admits that he disliked the possessive undertone. Lance realizes how Keith understood it and was quick to clarify: "I didn't mean 'mine' like a possesion. I meant 'mine' like home, like my favorite beach, like cuba. Nothing i own or even can own. You're mine like I care about you and therefore I care for you. Mine in the same way I pick up trash at my favorite beach, in the same way I notice that new shop on my street, mine like belonging to me but never ever mine to keep."

Keith looks at him like a deer in the headlights and, not knowing what to say, suddenly throws his arms around the lanky boy sitting across from him. Surprised by the impact, Lance falls on his back and gets squished between his boyfriend and the pillows.

happy ending they kiss

thank you @justdissimp for the beta and @numerous-bees-in-a-skin-suit and @probablyastersblog <3

#voltron #klance #fanfic #oneshot #klance oneshot #voltron oneshot #klance fic #Keith kogane #lance mcclain #og brainrotting #mine #guys the hozier brainrot has been insane #I have something for all things end too but I'm waiting for my best friend to beta it (she has exams rn she can take all the time she needs

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snowangeldotmp3 · 7 months

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there's no place like home

(or, a 5 +1 of the ouat au)

(for the ronancetober free day, but also could count as a modern au, too)

Robin grabs an apple off the countertop and takes a bite. Nancy raises a brow. “You’re not scared I’ll try to poison you?” “Again, you mean?” Robin grins. The barest hint of a smile tugs on the corners of Nancy’s lips. “Nah, I figure if you wanted me dead by now you would’ve already killed me. Even despite your failed attempts. You would’ve figured out a way eventually.” “Hm,” Nancy says, moving to the other side of the counter. “Plus, why leave out poison apples all day long? What if you forget they’re poison and accidentally eat one and then boom. Dead. All because you wanted a red delicious.” Nancy hums, seemingly agreeing with Robin and Robin can’t believe that one: Nancy has let her into her house, two: they’ve gone this long without getting into an argument.

#lol hiiiii #*drops this and runs*#ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #stranger things #max mayfield #ronance as max's moms #LITERALLY #ronancetober #ouat au #not beta read bc i have had a killer headache all day i cannot be bothered to go back thru rn #also perhaps the first chapter of the Real ouat au is almost done...Maybe...#posting this so i can get on with the rest of the ronancetober prompts lolol #lol *swan queens ur ronance*#anyway. GOODNIGHT!#my writing #my moodboards

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demadogs · 11 months

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snowbaz fandom im actually begging you to be more active on ao3 what happened to like 20 new fics a day where the hell are you guys i just want a good old fashion 8th year spell gone wrong fic is that really too much to ask

#COME BACK #now theres like 4 new ones a day but i never read past canon or established relationship or smut so its an even smaller amount #this literally used to be like my nightly routine for so fucking long and now theres nothing #it kills me #the best thing ive read in months is the one im beta reading rn #might just reread all my old favorites #snowbaz #carry on

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imfinereallyy · 1 month

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I am constantly worried that my fics are gibberish or the pacing is weird. I have to go look at other peoples fic sometimes to make sure what I’m writing is normal in forms of pacing??? My worst fear when publishing fic is that I’m all over the place.

#I’m finishing up my RBB rn and I can’t stop thinking ‘does this make any sense’#betas are awesome because they tell u to chill #but also I don’t like bothering people #it’s a problem #stranger things #ao3 writer #steddie #ao3 #writing #ao3 author #writing help #ficlet

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libra-cant-just-dance · 25 days

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Tainted City fans I swear I haven't forgotten you,,, I'm workin on it,,,

#i swear i'm still writing mirrored walls #the first chapter is actually done i'm just waiting on my partner to beta read it and then i'll probably post #it was just a long chapter and i havent had as much time to write #all my final project are due rn and then right after graduation im driving across the country and starting a job #i do intend to get some writing done in the car tho #i hate leaving things unfinished i must actually write this fic

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holdoncallfailed · 1 month

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my phone keeps reminding me that a year ago i was in the most beautiful place in the world eating the best food i've ever had and now i'm just back to my normal life here. well whatever

#firenze #looking at this photo legit makes me want to cry wahhhh i want to go backkkkk #beta's ig stories of rome are the only thing sustaining me rn #personal #text

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theloveinc · 1 year

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from worst to best on the scale of how bad each boy’s apartment is when you come back home after fighting for a week:

Deku - uhhhh dirty and messy because he completely falls apart. doesn’t do a single piece of laundry the entire time and lives purely off what he already has in the fridge and cabinet, even if that means he’s picking at the same leftovers for a week. the kitchen is the worst of it, he doesn’t touch the dishes either... and his bathroom has started smelling a bit like mold

Kirishima - moldy fruit in the fruit bowl and moldy vegetables in the fridge. has gotten takeout every single day but hasn’t taken the trash out once. the whole bedroom floor is laundry and the bathroom is just a mess of open products and drawers. has no toilet paper or paper towel or anything. he’s literally been sleeping under just a sheet

Bakugo - pretty clean except his fridge is essentially empty except for condiments and a spill. he’s also been wearing the same pajamas for five days straight and lowkey? highkey stinks. ghost town in there

Todoroki - nothing too significant has changed except for some reason his sheets smell like he hasn’t gotten out of them for a week. his body wash and toothpaste are also like... entirely empty and his shampoo is mixed with water.

#deku #todoroki #kirishima #bakugo #gen #lmaooooo every time i see that one guy on tik tok who's kitchen is a biohazard #i think abt deku when ur mad at him #doesn't clean a dam thing eats literal mold on his old food bc he's so distressed #anyway this was funny #to do i mean #im trying to write kiri rn but i have an assignment due at midnight so sighhh #i wanted to ask for a beta for it too bc its a lot of dialogue and im nervous #but thats such a bad idea bc it doesnt matter #anyway #wyd when u come home to this #like not even mad anymore lmaooo #sorry jaldjfakjdf #im also writing a bakugo drabble thats like this but.. kinda the opposite #caitie post

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sorbaisku · 1 year

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I Don’t Trust The Inside Job Part 2 Finale

Appleton. What a heartbreaking glorious episode and such an amazing way to end Part 2. I cried <//3 But I’m delusional and I DO NOT ACCEPT IT !! AND HERE’S WHY

This face. This fucking face! THAT UGLY ASS FUCKING CONNIVING FACIAL EXPRESSION !! Throughout the season I was super on edge because every episode Alpha-Beta just kept getting more and more integrated into the everyday activities around the office. Everyone was just kind of comfortable having him around and helping and isn’t this supposed to be the genocidal maniac that, if given just a few seconds with an internet connection, can start world war 3?1?! I figured the writers were going for a semi-redemption arc. He’s still evil and silly but like he’s generally safe. Plus he still has that glass cage all around him, he can’t do much of anything with that frfr *cut to Rand lowering the glass cage for a fist fight* THE WAY I SCREAMED !! AND THE WAY NO ONE BROUGHT IT UP AFTERWARDS ?!?! AND IT STAYED FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON ?!?! Is no one worried that hey, he might be up to something?? Raegan was right to comment on how weirdly ungenocidal Alpha-Beta was in this scene, because what if he wasn’t? And the way she didn’t even check if Alpha-Beta’s work on connecting the multiverse timeline analyzer thingie to the simulation room was correct because she was so desperate for an immediate answer leaves me so concerned. My theory (delusions) is that once Alpha-Beta got unrestricted access to the internet, he either contacted or got contacted by the robes, to ensure that Raegan would make partner and enact her global domination plans with nothing to keep her down, distract her, or stand in her way. No Ron Stadler. What if those weren’t all the possible realities,,, what if in one reality they could have been happy but it would go against the robes’ plans,,,

And while I do agree that Ron and Reagan where going in different directions in life and that them breaking up makes so much sense. (Here’s a great post on that btw: https://at.tumblr.com/swanpyart/inside-job-part-2-spoilers-ron-and-reagan/euyben9u6xhk) The circumstances of their breakup leave me so,,, MAD. Not only because of the sussyness of Alpha-Beta. Not only because I saw it coming from episode 1 and was deluding myself throughout the last episode that a mind erasing scenario wouldn’t happen. But also because Raegan lied to Ron. I can understand and appreciate the poetry in Ron erasing his own mind but the way Raegan didn’t talk to him about their potential futures together. The way she took away Ron’s autonomy in that moment to decide for himself what kind of future he wants. The way they didn’t talk through it and how Raegan would view her actions as selfless and for the greater good,,, THEY COULD HAVE WORKED I SWEAR IF ONLY THEY COMMUNICATED ABOUT IT OPENLY TO EACH OTHER EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE WORKED OUT WHAT ABOUT BIZLEASURE RAEGAN WHAT ABOUT BIZLE- *gets tranquilized and abducted by the deep state for being too delusional*

#inside job #inside job part 2 #ron stadler #reagen ridley #alpha beta is behind it all I swear to god #delusional #inside job theory #its the eeaao of it all like i swear #I hate memory bullshit because I eat it up everytime and it hurts me #the way my brain is screaming Rick Sanchez and Ron Stadler parallels is so cursed #The your name is Martin Higgins thing is giving I am hannah Gross Bly Manor and I am so unwell rn #Like so unwell I hate it here

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