#in order to fuck over their international rivals''
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hey batter, batter
MDNI 18+
synopsis: ellie and abby have been rivals for years, playing for their university’s softball team. one day you, their coach’s daughter, show up at their game and ruin everything.
content: ellabs x reader, reader isn’t specified to be fem or masc, reader is described as a “girl”, afab!reader, sub!reader, dom!abby, switch!ellie, cunnilingus(e! and r! receiving), fingering(everyone receiving), strap-on(r!receiving)
word count: 3.7k
notes: based on this, thank u to @andisalias for giving me the idea to do softball, i think it worked really well! disclaimer: i know NOTHING about sports and just did a lot of research for this fic, so if anything is inaccurate about softball, i’m so sorry lmao
ellie sits on a bench in the dugout, picking at her dirty fingernails as she watches abby go up to bat.
“i hate the fucking batting order, i swear to god that jared has a vendetta against me,” ellie tells dina, who’s up to bat after ellie.
jared, the coach for their university’s softball team, is standing off to the side of the field, watching each move anyone makes on the field like a hawk.
dina snorts, nodding towards abby; “i think he has a vendetta against you fucking with his star first baseman before she goes up to bat.”
ellie scoffs, “that bitch deserves it.”
dina laughs a little, “right.”
ellie shoots a glare towards dina and goes back to burning holes into the muscular blonde’s back with her intense staring as abby holds the bat up, ready to swing.
if ellie was honest with herself, she did find abby just a little bit attractive, but any attraction ellie felt was monumentally overpowered by her intense hatred and jealousy for the blonde. abby was an upperclassman and naturally excelled in softball, always managing to make ellie feel small just by walking past her, which ellie despised. luckily, she knew that abby was just as bothered by ellie in return.
the pitcher throws the softball and abby strikes out on all 3 throws. ellie’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised.
“oh shit.” dina remarks, “i can’t remember the last time i saw ellie strike out.”
ellie rolls her eyes, “she’s not that great, dude. she fucks up all the time.”
dina doesn’t reply, not wanting to amp up her teammate.
abby comes back to the dugout, simmering with embarrassment and rage. ellie stands up and bumps abby’s shoulder with her own as ellie goes to bat.
“nice going,” ellie sneers, her voice barely audible, but abby picks it up, her fists clenching at her sides as she takes a seat on the bench.
abby turns to look at the girl who distracted her in the stands, and it’s you, chewing a fat wad of Big League Chew. her cheeks grow warm at the thought of fucking up so badly in front of you.
‘knock it off, abs, you don’t even know her,’ abby’s brain supplies, and she tries to listen, turning back to watch ellie bat.
as ellie goes up to the plate, getting into position, she looks through the netting behind her to look at the crowd, looking to see if joel ended up making it to this game after work. she almost immediately finds joel, sitting at the front of the bleachers with a bag of sunflower seeds. ellie’s about to give him at least a nod, but is quickly distracted when she sees you sitting next to joel.
‘what the fuck? who the fuck is that?’ ellie thinks to herself, her cheeks reddening as she gets into position to bat.
she turns away for a second to catch another glimpse of you, but as she does, she feels the softball sail past her into the catcher’s mitt.
“strike one!”
ellie’s wholes face feels hot and she kicks herself internally for getting so distarcted that she didn’t even swing in front of one of the most attractive people she’s ever seen. she shakes out her head a little, and she hears joel clapping, offering some cheers of support for ellie, but it just makes her feel more humiliated.
ellie adjusts her position, avoiding eye contact with her coach as he silently fumes over his star players completely fucking up and out of their element.
when the pitcher pitches the ball again, ellie swings and misses. at this point, she can feel her rage physically in her stomach, burning. she wilts inside slightly as she thinks about you seeing her play the worst she’s played since high school.
on her last pitch, ellie swings too early and strikes out. ellie feels sick as she walks back to the dugout, tossing her bat on the ground with more force than she should use.
dina walks past ellie silently to go up to bat, knowing that saying anything to ellie about this right now would probably be a mistake.
ellie sits down on the bench, grinding her teeth as she makes a little hole in the dirt ground with her shoe.
abby leans over towards ellie, now smirking, “hmmm… karma’s a bitch, huh?”
ellie jaw thrusts forward, not replying or looking at abby in fear that she’ll lose all control and lunge at the bigger girl, which she knows their coach would probably kick ellie off the team for.
in the next inning, abby takes her position at first base as ellie takes center field. abby looks up at you, chewing her lip slightly as she does. she tries to push down the wild butterflies she has, cursing herself for how distracted she’s been getting by your mere presence and not wanting to fuck this up anymore.
abby looks back at her teammates, and catches ellie staring intently at the crowd. abby follows ellie’s line of sight back to you and she clenches her jaw.
as the game continues, abby and ellie both drag the team down significantly, the two most competitive and cutthroat girls now distracted and aloof, dropping balls and staring at you despite their efforts not to.
eventually, the game ends and the visiting team wins by a landslide. abby feels sick about being partly responsible for their first loss of the season. both girls walk with the team dejectedly as they file inside to the locker room, following their coach.
when they’re all in the locker room, jared lays in to them, specifically abby and ellie.
“abby. ellie. what the fuck was that? i’ve never seen either of you play like that. are you two fucking high?” jared reprimands angrily.
ellie’s face hardens, and she has to use every ounce of self control not to do something she’ll regret. abby, on the other hand, takes the criticism in, fully ashamed of how she played today.
“i’m sorry, coach… I was just off today, but it won’t happen again,” abby says, her head low.
ellie is so close to making fun of abby for kissing their coach’s ass, but before she does, you walk into the dressing room cautiously, sitting on a chair in the corner. ellie stares at you, confused, but her heart racing form just your presence.
jared shakes his head, “i just don’t get it, you’re both firecrackers normally, but today, it felt like you two weren’t even in the game.”
abby is stunned too, unable to come up with a response as she stares at you. you shift a little in your chair awkwardly as both women stare you down.
jared shakes his head again, “this better not happen ever again, got it? or else you’re off the team. you can’t pull this shit and off scott-free.”
abby and ellie both quickly snap their attention back to jared, knowing that both of their scholarships are from softball, and if they get kicked off, they’re fucked.
jared rubs his temples, “alright… i’m done for today. go home, and i’ll see you all at practice tomorrow.”
the team starts packing up their stuff, a few of them heading to the showers. ellie and abby watch as their coach approaches you.
jared gives you a hug, “hey, sorry that you had to hear that.”
you shake your head, clearly a little uncomfortable about watching jared reprimand the team. “it’s fine, dad, don’t worry.”
dad? ellie and abby’s jaws comically dropping at the same time.
as you and jared talk, ellie and abby tear themselves away to head to the showers, both of them irritated that the other is present.
‘jared’s fucking daughter??? there’s no way that dick made someone so beautiful,’ ellie sulks to herself, stripping her clothes.
both girls quickly shower and by the time they’re done and grabbing their bags, they’re the only two left in the locker room.
abby is determined not to say a word to ellie, but ellie has other plans.
“so, you have the hots for coach’s daughter then?” ellie asks as she stuffs her sweaty uniform into her bag, her hair wet and hanging in her face.
abby’s loose, wet hair dampens the back of her t-shirt as she glares at ellie, “please, don’t act like you weren’t drooling over her the whole game.”
ellie laughs a little, “well… yeah. i have eyes, dumbass.”
abby bristles, “so, you’re gonna ask her out or something?”
ellie shrugs, “and what if i did? afraid she might like me more, anderson?”
abby scoffs, “i’m more afraid of you harassing her.”
ellie glares at abby, taking a step towards her, “literally, fuck you.”
abby steps closer too, using her size advantage against ellie to try and intimidate her, “funny, it seems you ‘literally’ want to fuck her.”
“ummm…” they hear a small voice from the doorway of the locker room.
abby and ellie’s heads whip around and they see you standing there awkwardly.
“i, uh… my dad thinks he left his baseball cap in here and asked if i could find it before i head back to my dorm,” you over-explain, rambling a bit.
ellie’s eyes light up a little, ‘jackpot.’
“don’t worry, i’ll help you look around for it,” ellie immediately answers, going up to you, “i’m ellie, by the way.”
your cheeks are hot as you shake ellie’s hand, and abby realizes that ellie might be stealing her opportunity, and she walks up to you as well.
“hey, i’m abby.” she says, shaking your hand as well, her large hands engulfing yours, “and don’t stress, i know what his cap looks like, it must be around here somewhere.”
abby and ellie give each other murderous looks as they search the locker room for coach’s ball cap.
you look around as well, your brain racing as you contemplate what you overheard them saying before they saw you.
abby finds the ball cap on the counter and raises it up in victory, “found it!”
ellie takes a breath, trying not to get unnecessarily upset over something as trivial as this.
you grin, approaching abby, “oh thank god. i’m terrible at finding shit, i *really* appreciate you both helping me.”
“of course,” abby and ellie both respond at the same time, side eyeing each other slightly.
you stand in front of the two as an awkward silence settles over everyone.
you decide to be bold, for once in your life, and break the silence, “so, i, ummm… i overheard you two before walked in.”
abby’s eyes get big and ellie’s freckled face goes red.
“oh shit, i’m really so sorry,” abby says, running her hand through her loose hair anxiously as ellie stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to say.
you smile a little, “no, it’s okay. really.”
you step forward, closer to them, and the girl’s tense up.
“it is a shame that you can’t share me though,” you boldly suggest, surprised by your own confidence, but you knew that they wanted you. they certainly weren’t discreet during the game.
‘holy shit.’
abby’s jaw drops slightly and ellie pauses before slowly saying, “share?”
you take a step closer, looking back and forth between them, “yeah. share.”
abby turns to ellie, and in that moment, maybe for the first time, they’re on the same page.
“i wouldn’t mind sharing you,” abby responds, her voice soft and low.
ellie nods, taking a step closer to you, “i’m good with sharing too,” she quickly supplies.
a slow smile spreads over you face, your eyes sparkling as you press yourself against ellie.
“well then… feel like sharing me right now?”
abby laughs a little to herself at the lunacy of this situation, but she can’t say that she’s not already wet just from this conversation alone, so abby nods.
“fuck yeah i do,” ellie says enthusiastically before kissing you.
abby watches as ellie kisses you, and the fire in her stomach is a mix of lust and envy.
ellie’s hands are gripping your hips as she presses you more into her. you run your tongue over her bottom lip and she moans, letting you into her mouth.
you feel a warm pressure against your back and you realize that it’s abby.
“my turn, williams,” abby says, her hands gliding over your waist.
you break the kiss with ellie, and her pupils are dilated, her lips plump and wet with spit. “fuck.”
abby spins you around towards her and doesn’t waste any time before kissing you, her arms wrapping around you.
you feel ellie’s hands roaming as you and abby kiss, and feel ellie’s pelvis pressing against your ass. it takes you a moment for you to realize that she’s grinding herself against it, and the idea makes your underwear more soaked than it already was. abby nips at your bottom lip and you moan into her mouth.
ellie’s hands come down to palm and squeeze your ass.
“you’re fucking perfect,” ellie murmurs, still humping your ass like a bitch in heat.
you pull back from abby to take off your shirt, leaving you in your jeans and bra.
abby starts kissing your neck and chest as ellie unclasps your bra, helping you take it off. as soon as it’s off, ellie’s hands reach around you to squeeze your breasts.
“jesus christ…” ellie whispers, rolling your nipples between her thumb and index finger as you moan softly.
abby breath is coming heavier as she manhandles you to sit on one of the benches in the locker room. you don’t resist at all, completely ready for whatever comes next.
abby motions to ellie as she kneels between your legs, “come on, there’s one for each of us,” as she latches onto your nipple, sucking and squeezing one of your breasts.
ellie quickly goes beside abby, your legs spread as wide as they can with the two girls between them. ellie licks over your other nipple and blows on it, getting it hard.
“so fucking cute-“ ellie says before suckling your breast as well, her eyes closed as she moans in the back of her throat.
you look down, and your clit is pulsing against the seam of your jeans as you watch both girls latched onto your breast.
ellie pulls back, watching abby suck on your breast with flushed cheeks. abby notices that ellie is watching her and she pulls back to see what’s up. as soon as she does, ellie pulls her into a heated kiss.
you’re mesmerized as the two girls kiss each other aggressively, ellie’s hands coming up to tug on abby’s hair. abby moans as she gropes ellie’s small chest through her shirt. when they detach, ellie stands up, her eyes sparkling.
“i have an idea,” ellie says as she goes over to her backpack, rummaging around through it until she pulls out a satin, black bag. she opens it and pulls out a purple strap-on.
abby laughs a little, “williams, why the fuck do you casually have a strap in your backpack? do you bring that to every game or something?”
ellie’s face goes red, “fuck you. i like to be prepared, it’s not my fault you don’t have bitches. besides, are you complaining?”
abby snorts, “no, i guess i’m not.”
ellie takes off her shirt and pants, leaving her sports bra on as she puts on the strap. “anderson, lie down on the ground.”
too everyone’s surprise, abby follows ellie’s order.
“good girl.” ellie motions to you, “and you, take off your jeans and sit on her face, okay?”
you nod quickly, stripping completely naked before crawling onto abby. you look into your eyes, “you okay with this?”
abby nods eagerly, “very okay.”
you grin and situate yourself over her face, and you don’t have any warning before abby’s strong arms wrap around your thighs and pull you down so you’re fully sitting on her face.
you moan involuntarily as abby’s tongue laps over your wet cunt, completely vulgar noises coming from her mouth with a muffled, “you taste fucking incredible-“
ellie watches as abby pleasures you, and she rubs the base of the strap against her clit as she admires the two of you.
abby starts sucking on your clit and you moan loud, your eyes rolling back into your head. ellie approaches you two, watching abby eat you out.
ellie kneels down behind you, pressing her chest to your bare back, “wanna try and take me, baby?”
you nod eagerly, “please.”
ellie doesn’t need anyone confirmation before slipping two fingers into your pussy, curling them as abby suckles your clit. you moan loudly, your breaths heavy.
“so fuckin’ tight… you’re gonna feel fucking incredible on my cock, baby, i promise-“ ellie says as she takes out her fingers, sucking them clean, “fuck, abby wasn’t lying, you taste good.”
ellie positions her strap, rubbing the tip over your folds to tease you a little. you whimper, and that’s about all ellie can take before slipping the strap into you. you’re now on your hands and knees, with abby below you still at work on your clit, and ellie behind you as she starts thrusting into you.
“that pretty pussy is so fucking desperate for us, huh?” ellie says, her core tight as she grips your hips.
you moan at that, nodding, intense pleasure coursing through your body.
ellie laughs a little, thrusting harder, “do you have any fucking idea what you did to us out there, pretty girl? fucking distracting us- so fucking sexy-“ ellie pants, her eyes rolling back as she gets the friction she needs on her clit.
your orgasm is rapidly approaching, your body overwhelmed with stimulation. “i-i’m gonna-“
you nearly scream as you climax, your legs shaking with pleasure as you writhe around. ellie watches with a big grin on her face, fucking you as hard and as fast as she can through it.
when you come down, abby lifts you off her face with ease, “my turn.”
ellie takes off the strap and passes it to ellie, “oh, think you can fuck her better?”
abby huffs a laugh, “i know i can, williams.”
abby puts on the strap and strips off her clothes, keeping you in doggy as ellie come’s around in front of your face. ellie takes off her sports bra and boxers, sitting in front of your and spreading her legs, exposing strings of her arousal between her thighs, her auburn bush soaked in pre-cum.
you waste no time before diving in, your tongue lapping up her juices. ellie grunts and her hands fly to your head, keeping you in place, “jesus fucking christ-“
abby takes this moment to lick your cunt up from behind, tasting your cum from your previous orgasm before lining the strap up with your entrance and thrusting in deep without warning.
you moan into ellie’s pussy, and thrust your tongue down her entrance before replacing it with two fingers. ellie moans again, her eyes squeezing shut.
ellie fucked you relentlessly and hard, making you see stars, but abby fucks you like she’s trying to savor every moment, her eyes locked on your pussy as it stretches around the strap.
“you were made to take this dick, oh my god,” abby moans, thrusting deep and slow.
ellie starts whimpering as you suck on her clit, thrusting your fingers hard into her.
abby laughs a little at ellie’s reaction, never having seen ellie so docile.
“awww, you just needed to get your shitty attitude fucked out of you, huh, williams?”
ellie can barely respond, her head tilted back as you pleasure her, her stomach muscles trembling.
abby starts fucking you a little faster, wrapping an arm around you to play with your clit.
“can you give me one, princess? i don’t wanna be left out…” abby says, her chest pressed against your back as she fucks you.
every time you moan against ellie’s clit, still sucking it, and it sends delicious vibrations through it, amplifying ellie’s pleasure and making her tip over the edge, crying out as she climaxes.
you work ellie through her climax, despite your 2nd impending climax building in your lower belly.
as soon as she’s done, ellie stands up and moves behind abby, running her hands all over abby’s body.
abby moans as ellie plays with her nipple, her other hand coming down to squeeze abby’s ass before slipping a finger into abby’s cunt as abby fucks you.
abby moans unexpectedly, “fucking christ- more, elllie-“
ellie grins and slips in another finger, pumping her fingers in time with abby’s thrusts, curling them up each time ellie’s fingers bottom out.
abby’s pants come quicker, rubbing your clit faster. just as you’re sent into your next orgasm, abby cries out, fucking herself into you as she cums on ellie’s fingers.
when you both come down, abby slowly slips out of you, sitting on the cold locker room floor and leaning against ellie as abby pulls you into her lap.
“feeling okay?” abby asks as ellie brushes your hair out of your sweaty face.
you laugh weakly, still panting, “much better than okay.”
both girls giggle a little at that, and ellie asks with a cocky smirk, “so… who fucked you better?”
abby elbows ellie and ellie rolls her eyes, rubbing her arm.
you smirk a little and say, “hmmm… it was hard to tell. maybe we’ll have to do this again sometime to repeat the study, y’know?”
abby grins as ellie laughs, squeezing your thigh.
“well, in that case, we have to. in the name of accurate results. science, even.” ellie says as she settles in to abby’s side.
abby laughs this time, one arm wrapping around ellie’s bare shoulders, “damn, i guess we do.”
#rose writes#ellie williams#tlou2#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fanfic#ellie x reader#tlou#ellie tlou#ellie williams smut#abby anderson x reader#abby tlou#abby x reader#ellabs x reader#ellabs#abby anderson
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liar, sweetheart
rating: explicit
member: sunghoon
premise: your best friend, benj, is a twin but he's the complete opposite of his brother. his brother, sunghoon, is all kinds of sleazy, or so you've heard. knowing about your big fat crush on your best friend, this sorry excuse of a twin brother agrees to put in a good word, in exchange for a good fuck, of course.
notes: fem!reader, dom!sunghoon, sort of rivals-to-lovers, unprotected sex, slight breeding, dacryphilia, dirty talk, degradation, praise, clothed sex, accidental voyeurism, sunghoon is two people here lmao, lmk if i missed anything!
a/n: fifth entry for my 1k follower special! we're in the endgame now, people. one last after this and my 1k event is ending. how did that happen :') anyways, i really got back into my writing groove for this one so i hope you all enjoy!
"what do you think of sunghoon?"
your ears perk up as you turn your head to give your best friend a look.
oh, benj. sweet, sweet benjamin park.
awkward but in a cute, boyish sort of way, tall almost to the point of gangly, but handsome in the way supermodels were.
benj is a figure skater, a very good one at that. he's at the level where if he did well enough, he'd be international news tomorrow. you've seen him skate and to you, it was nothing short of mesmerizing.
oh, you. clueless, utterly clueless you.
honestly, it was all so predictable.
a situation right out of booktok's latest favorite friends-to-lovers novel by some up-and-coming author. the comfortable silence, the memorized starbucks orders, the pining, oh, the pining. booktok lives for the pining.
sitting here in benj's room as he casually games, fingers lazily moving over his ps5 controller, you realize just how utterly shortsighted you were.
of course you'd fall in love with your best friend. it's law. it's fate. a canon event, as the kids say.
but, you're getting out of topic here. right now, benj is asking you about his twin brother.
"what do you mean?" you ask, swiveling around in the office chair by benj's desk. benj is perched on his bed, leaned up against his headboard as he plays.
"like...what do you think of him...?" benj repeats, as if in an attempt to rephrase his question but ultimately failing.
your forehead creases even more.
"you have to be more specific than that," you chuckle.
benj pauses the game, setting the controller down. he shifts on his side so he can get a better look at you.
"do you like him?" benj deadpans, raising an eyebrow.
you nearly choke on your own saliva.
sunghoon. benj's twin brother.
the younger twin, as benj always reminded. your thoughts drift to the other park brother, complete in all his dark clothes and equally dark hair.
while benj afforded himself the preference of dying his hair an icy blonde, sunghoon kept his own hair jet black. benj wore sweaters and cardigans and loose-fitting shirts, but sunghoon wore button-ups, with the first three buttons popped open, paired with jeans ripped to the heavens.
benj is the shining star in this family, a star figure skater, an overachiever. sunghoon battles his way around ice hockey, dabbles in dance, keeps his triumphs to himself.
benj is the sun, while sunghoon is the moon. yin and yang.
you get the picture.
oh, and sunghoon is a complete asshole. benj is not.
"he's okay," you finally answer. benj looks at you like he's waiting for more.
"that's it?" benj asks after a second.
you roll your eyes. "i don't know what you want me to say. i barely talk to him since i spend most of my time with you."
benj cocks his head to the side, as if curious.
"weird," he says. "he asks about you all the time."
this piques your interest.
"he does?"
benj shrugs, returning his attention to the tv. he picks the forgotten controller back up, resuming his game.
"yeah. asks if and when you'll be coming over," benj explains. he shoots you a quick side glance.
"you're not hooking up behind my back, are you?"
you physically recoil at benj's words, the idea initially repulsive to you.
"absolutely not," you practically spit out. "he's not my type."
benj bursts out laughing, his eyes forming cute crescents as he does so.
"you basically just called me ugly with that," benj points out, eyes unmoving from the tv screen.
you stutter for a second. "that's not what i meant. it's just—well we're not close, at least not like how we are and—"
you sigh, cutting yourself off. you've embarrassed yourself enough, you think.
benj shakes his head, one side of his mouth turning up in a half-smile.
"okay, no need to explain, ______. i was just asking," benj says. "but the way you're so defensive about it is raising a few questions, not gonna lie."
you rub exasperatedly at your temples.
"i am not sleeping with your brother."
---
"hey."
you nearly jump a foot back in surprise. looking up, you're met with the stern gaze of sunghoon, black hair falling over his eyes. he's wearing one of those compression shirts, ridiculously tight against his toned upper body.
you turn away before it gets weird.
"oh, sorry, is benj home?" you ask, peeking momentarily past sunghoon.
"he's at training," sunghoon informs. "didn't he tell you?"
you glance at your watch. "he said he'd be done by now."
sunghoon raises an eyebrow. "well, he's not."
your mouth falls open, your mind momentarily going blank. you shift your expression to one of stony resolve.
"you know what, i'll just come back. sorry to bother you," you say, already turning away.
"i didn't tell you to leave, did i?"
you turn back, giving sunghoon a look. you stare hard, noticing just how much he resembles benj. but some things differ, naturally.
an extra beauty mark. the slightly sharper upturn of his nose. the seemingly eternal frown on his face.
"you can come in," sunghoon says with a sigh, stepping aside. you duck your head as you cross the threshold.
"and don't be so uptight next time," he adds. you can practically hear the smirk as he says this.
you glare daggers at sunghoon and he's still smiling as he closes the door behind him. he crosses his arms and studies you.
he leans back against the door and you straighten yourself up as much as you could.
"what's your problem, sunghoon?" you ask, planting your hands on your hips.
"what's yours?" sunghoon replies. you feel a twinge of annoyance spark in your chest.
"nothing," you emphasize. "and that's exactly it. i don't have a problem but if you don't stop acting like that, i might just have one soon enough."
"acting like what?" sunghoon questions, tilting his head to the side.
you swallow. you rack your brain for something to say, and don't be mistaken, you have a lot, but it's like your train of thought has halted altogether.
"like...that," you say, gesticulating vaguely with your hands.
sunghoon laughs, a hand coming up to run through his hair. you watch him, observe as his muscles shift beneath that stupidly tight, stupidly attractive shirt.
...what?
"are you this jumpy with my brother?" sunghoon asks, shoving his hands in the pockets of his grey sweatpants.
"i don't follow," you say, taking a step back. being close to sunghoon seems suffocating now, as if the air is stuffy with something you can't quite put your finger on.
"of course, you don't," sunghoon mutters under his breath.
it takes everything in you not to punch him square in the jaw.
"you like benj, don't you?" it's more of a statement rather than a question and it's so unexpected to you, you nearly stumble back in surprise.
"what?" is all you can say.
sunghoon snorts as if your confusion is oh-so-amusing.
"no need to deny it, _______," sunghoon reassures. "everyone with one working eye can see it."
you decide to stay silent. maybe if you don't react, sunghoon would drop the subject.
sunghoon seems satisfied with himself as he grins, nodding to himself, probably mentally patting himself on the back for his 'detective work'. he brushes past you and you get a whiff of his perfume and what you can assume is his body wash.
fresh. powdery. clean.
you wait a second before you hear his bedroom door close.
you let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding.
your phone vibrates with a notification and you're relieved to see it's a message from benj.
'are you at my place yet? i'll be home in a few. sunghoon will let you in. sorry, love u!'
you smile to yourself as you lock your phone.
---
you couldn't stop thinking about it.
were you really that obvious? or is it just some twin telepathy that's why sunghoon could tell? could benj tell?
you sit up, careful not to jostle anything in your immediate vicinity. you peer up at benj's sleeping figure from where you're situated on his spare mattress, positioned on the floor right next to his bed.
he seems to be deep in slumber, shoulders rising and falling steadily. you swallow, realizing how parched your throat has gotten. you get up on your feet, treading carefully around benj's room to get to the door.
you exit, walking down the hallway of the parks' penthouse apartment, trying to make as minimal sound as you can. you round the corner to where you know the kitchen is and you immediately stop in your tracks.
"shit—" you curse, startled by the figure standing by the kitchen island.
your eyes adjust to the dim lighting and you realize you've come face to face with sunghoon.
"hi, _______," sunghoon greets. "fancy seeing you here."
you huff, approaching the refrigerator. "ha ha. you scared the shit out of me."
you hear sunghoon laugh quietly from behind you.
you take the ice-cold pitcher out of the fridge, setting it on the counter before walking over to the cupboards where the parks keep their glasses.
you can feel sunghoon watching you, aware of the burning attention. you can feel your neck prickle with it.
you pull the cupboard door open and it's only now that you realize you can barely see. afraid to just reach in and possibly knock over and break something, you pause, willing your vision to adjust even more to the low lighting.
"hey, can you turn on the—"
your words are cut off when you feel warmth press up against your back. you flinch, watching with wide eyes as sunghoon's arm braces itself against the countertop in front of you. he reaches over you, his breath tickling the top of your head.
you shiver involuntarily.
you turn to face him, pressing yourself fully against the granite behind you. sunghoon pulls a glass down from the cupboard, handing it to you. his arm is still planted firmly to your side, half caging you in.
"here," sunghoon says.
you can just make out his face in the low light, his scent invading your senses once more. you take the glass from him and he steps away, freeing you.
you wordlessly return to the center of the kitchen, pouring yourself the water you desperately need. and boy, do you need it.
you gulp down mouthfuls of it, unsure why your legs are suddenly weak, your knees threatening to give out.
"hey," sunghoon calls out. you pause, turning to where he's still standing by the cupboards.
he has the same easy stance he had earlier in the day. leaned back, arms crossed. even in the dark, you can feel him staring.
"what?" it comes out a little more harshly than you'd like and you wince.
"do you hate me or something?" sunghoon asks brusquely.
once again, you find yourself rendered speechless by sunghoon.
"no," you answer simply, setting your glass down.
"then why don't you hang out with me like you do with benj?" sunghoon asks, approaching you.
"because benj is my best friend, you're not," you respond. sunghoon stops right in front of you and you have to crane your neck to meet where you think his eyes are.
"your best friend that you're in love with," sunghoon says, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"that's not true," you deny.
sunghoon snickers. "sure, keep lying to yourself, sweetheart."
you inhale at the term of endearment.
"you know, i never understood why you got closer to him but you stopped spending time with me altogether," sunghoon muses. "the three of us grew up together, remember?"
you do.
the afternoons spent in the local playground. you and benj sat on the swings while sunghoon pushed. you and sunghoon on the seesaw while benj attempted to balance in the middle (much to their mother's horror). the twins hiding while you played seeker.
a smile tugs at your lips at the memory. and then it falters just as quick.
"you were the one who stopped hanging out with us," you say, a little accusatory in the way you did. "you had newer ice hockey friends and when middle school rolled around, you decided those girls were worth your time more than us."
'more than me,' is what you wanted to say. but you swallow it down.
sunghoon stays silent at this. after what you estimate is a minute, he sighs.
"sorry," is all he says.
you shake your head. "it's okay, we all drift apart from our childhood friends at one point."
sunghoon steps even closer. you can feel him now. a strange crackle of electricity tickles your fingertips.
"that's not the case with you and benj," sunghoon observes.
it's your turn to say nothing.
"i can help you," sunghoon suggests. your head snaps up as you try to process sunghoon's words.
you can see him now, illuminated by the faint hallway lights behind you. sunghoon's looking at you, expression unreadable.
"help me?" you parrot back. sunghoon nods.
"i can help you get with benj, if that's what you want. plant the seeds, so to speak," sunghoon explains. "he is my twin brother, after all."
you consider this for a moment. there's no denying the giddy feeling you get in benj's presence. the comfort it gives you when you spend the whole day together. the butterflies in your stomach when he beams at you, all bright and shining.
this should be an offer you can't refuse.
"i just have one thing to ask of you," sunghoon cuts through your thoughts.
"what?" you ask.
sunghoon pauses, turning away as if gathering his own words.
"do you ever feel that there's this weird...thing between us?" sunghoon asks.
your whole body seems to stiffen. your hands turn cold, clammy.
"like tension," sunghoon elaborates. "something you can't really explain."
"no," you answer a little too quickly.
sunghoon chuckles. "there you go again, lying."
you avoid sunghoon's gaze, staring hard at a spot behind him where his shadow dances against the cabinets.
"if you agree to...try this thing with me just this once, i'll help you get together with benj," sunghoon concludes, bending lower so he's in your line of sight.
unable to avoid him any longer, you look into sunghoon's eyes. he's much clearer now, your eyes well-adjusted to the dark. he's looking at you, expression soft, unlike the other times you've come face-to-face with him.
"so, you're offering to be my wingman, but only if i let you fuck me?" you string your words out carefully. "is that it?"
sunghoon sighs, shrugging. "basically, yeah. sounds fucking weird but you can always say no."
"it is weird," you confirm. you cross your arms as you narrow your eyes at sunghoon.
"can't we just skip the part where we fuck and go straight to the part where you help me?"
sunghoon grins down at you, dipping even lower so you're eye level with him.
"it's as if you don't know me at all, _______," sunghoon says lowly. "that hardly seems fair, sweetheart."
you grit your teeth.
"besides, do you want to skip the part where we fuck?" sunghoon presses on the last word, holding your gaze as he said it. you feel a warmth spread all over your body.
you take a deep breath, steadying yourself. your mind is at war with itself, warning you that this is a bad idea. if you get together with benj after, what then? take the secret that you fucked his brother to your grave?
"just this once, and when we're done, you'll help me, correct?" you say, raising a brow at sunghoon.
sunghoon nods. "exactly."
you pause. you want it. what 'it' is, you're not so sure.
you reach your hand out.
"deal."
sunghoon grasps your hand in his, squeezing firmly. his fingers envelop yours easily, your palm almost cartoonishly smaller than his.
and he's warm. so warm.
your eyes meet his and it's like something snaps.
you feel sunghoon grasp at your waist and your own arms come flying up to wrap around sunghoon's neck. he kisses you fervently, harshly, desperately. you respond with the same enthusiasm, pulling him closer to you.
sunghoon pushes you against the fridge, the contents rattling within. you gasp as the cold metal presses through your thin pajamas, but sunghoon drinks in any noise from you with his mouth.
"fuck," sunghoon mutters softly.
"god, ______," sunghoon continues, hands splayed against your back, his lips exploring the expanse of your neck.
"sunghoon," you whisper, clutching onto his wide frame. you mewl softly when you feel him suckle on a spot just above your collarbone.
you pull sunghoon away from your neck, guiding his face back to level with yours. you kiss him some more, a strange feeling bubbling within you.
it's making you want more of sunghoon, as if your whole being craved him.
you hear a soft click of a door opening somewhere down the hall and your eyes fly open, your hands forcing sunghoon off you. he jumps back as well, a panicked look on his face.
footsteps echo in the hallway and a voice immediately follows after.
"_______?"
benj. it's benj. his voice is thick with sleep and you look over at sunghoon, eyes wide with alarm.
"i-i'm in the kitchen," you call out. "just needed a drink."
you rush out of the kitchen and into the hall, running right into benj's firm chest. he catches you before you stumble and he holds you at arm's length, looking at you through half-closed eyes.
"there you are," benj says with a laugh.
you let out a nervous giggle of your own, gently pushing benj back towards his room.
"i'm right here," you assure him. benj rambles on about hearing noises from his room and you quickly dismiss it as you just messing around in their kitchen.
just as you herd benj back into his room, you look back down the hall and see sunghoon sauntering casually towards his own door. he catches your eye and winks, stepping quietly into his room.
---
"i know what you were doing last night."
you stop dead in your tracks, hand frozen in midair just as you're unwrapping your hair from your towel.
you had just stepped out of the bathroom adjacent to benj's room, dressed in his shirt and your shorts from yesterday. it's the morning after your little tryst with sunghoon and you were nearly a hundred percent sure you had successfully lied your way out of an explanation to benj.
it turns out, you haven't.
"you were hooking up with sunghoon, weren't you?" benj says, looking at you expectantly.
you put on your best attempt at an appalled expression, eyes wide an lips turning down into a frown.
"no, i wasn't," you muster up with as much disgust as you can.
benj just laughs. "i've lived here for nearly half my life, ____. i know the sounds of this house better than you."
"well, you thought wrong," you argue, busying yourself with brushing through your hair. you keep your eyes trained on the full body mirror in front of you, setting your sight on your own face.
benj comes up behind you, looking at you as if he could see right through you.
you think maybe he can.
"you're such a bad liar," benj accuses.
"i would never hook up with your brother," you protest, raking through your hair aggressively. you're getting antsy and you pray that benj would just drop the subject.
"why not?" benj questions.
you look at his reflection, scowling. "i don't like him like that, benj."
"hooking up with him would feel like hooking up with you," you add. 'a red herring, yes,' you think. 'distract him, make him feel weird for even asking.'
benj gives you a look. "what's so bad about that?"
you stare open-mouthed at benj. a million thoughts are flying through your head and something pinches at your chest.
"you're my best friend, benj," you try to reason. "that's weird."
"and hooking up with my brother isn't?"
you groan, letting your head fall into your hands.
"i didn't hook up with sunghoon!"
benj nods, pouting as if not fully convinced. "okay, whatever you say."
he steps out through the door, leaving you in his eerily quiet room.
you sigh, turning back to your reflection.
"not yet," you whisper to yourself.
---
"aren't you leaving yet?"
you look up from your phone and you're met with sunghoon peeking through benj's door. his hair is damp and you can smell his aftershave from where you're sprawled out on benj's bed.
"nope," you reply curtly, turning back to your phone.
"you've been here two days," sunghoon points out, stepping into the room. you ignore the jolt of excitement in your gut.
"i'll leave once benj comes back from training," you say.
"oh sure, then the two of you will get caught up again in whatever nerd things you do, and then it's the evening and you'll stay another night, walking around in your skimpy pajamas," sunghoon rambles sarcastically.
you narrow your eyes him as you sit up. "what's wrong with my pajamas?"
"they make me impossibly hard, _______. that's what's wrong," sunghoon admits, expression unchanging.
your eyebrows shoot up in mild surprise. "that down bad, huh?"
"nah," sunghoon replies nonchalantly.
"whatever you say, sweetheart," you say, throwing the pet name back at sunghoon.
sunghoon lets his eyes travel over your body, expression darkening, and you feel every hair on your skin stand up under his unrelenting gaze. you shift around, unsure of what to do with sunghoon's undivided attention.
you watch as sunghoon approaches, his jaw set as he pauses right before benj's bed. he meets your eyes and before you know it, sunghoon is crawling over you, stopping once he has you caged in between his arms.
"you're seriously not thinking of fucking me on your twin brother's bed, are you?" you whisper. you're nearly nose to nose with sunghoon now.
"i am," sunghoon answers simply before kissing you, effectively driving you back against the plush mattress.
the same bubbling feeling reappears and you grab at any part of sunghoon that you can, hooking your legs around his waist. he grunts against your mouth and you feel him harden against your core.
"this is my shirt by the way," sunghoon grins against your lips. "benj stole it from me a while back."
you moan at the thought of it. you feel sunghoon reach under your—his—shirt, chuckling when he feels the absence of a bra. he cups one of your breasts in his hand, kneading as he continues his assault on your lips.
"lose this," sunghoon commands, his other hand tugging your shorts down harshly. you oblige, reaching down to discard the piece of clothing along with your underwear.
"but keep this on," sunghoon adds as he kisses along your jaw, referring to the large shirt swallowing your frame.
you kick off your shorts and underwear the same time sunghoon pulls back to undo his own joggers. he throws them off to the side unceremoniously before hovering back over you, his eyes scanning every feature of your face.
"if you're so in love with benj, why are you about to sleep with me on his bed?" sunghoon asks, his fingers trailing down delicately from your chest down to your stomach. you flinch, fighting the urge to curl into yourself at the ticklish feeling.
sunghoon continues down towards the space between your legs, wasting no time swiping through your folds. you gasp, back arching as sunghoon rubs up and down, finger circling teasingly around your entrance.
"you talk too much," you counter, voice shaking. "are you gonna fuck my brains out or what?"
sunghoon sneers, shoving two fingers in without warning. you yelp, turning to bury your face in benj's pillow. it smells like him, but you barely register that, seeing as his twin's fingers are knuckles deep in you.
"go on, run your mouth like you always do, slut," sunghoon taunts. you involuntarily clench down at his use of such a degrading word and sunghoon notices, of course, his mouth curling into a smirk.
"should have known you were into that," sunghoon wonders out loud. he moves his fingers in and out of you, pumping his thick digits into your wanting hole.
you clamp a hand down on your mouth, suppressing every noise that threatens to escape you.
"let me hear you, pretty, come on," sunghoon coos, prying your hand off your face. "it's just the two of us here."
you bite your lip but let yourself be heard as sunghoon continues to fuck you with his fingers. he curls them up inside you and you thrash about, the pressure building within your abdomen.
"gonna cum already? you're so fucking easy," sunghoon comments, leveling his face with your cunt. he blows softly against your clit and you cry out in pleasure.
you feel the wet heat of his tongue press against your bundle of nerves and coupled with sunghoon's fingers, you can't help but curse loudly at the sensations.
"shit, sunghoon!" you whine. "yes, just like that, please."
sunghoon wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and running his tongue over it alternately. you feel like you're about to lose your mind. you're seconds away from orgasm and you barely have any time to warn sunghoon.
"i'm gonna cum, sunghoon i'm gonna—"
you're cut short by your own loud moans as you feel yourself come undone, your whole body seizing up. you grip at the sheets beneath you with one hand while the other reaches down to thread through sunghoon's hair. you hear him grunt against your pussy as you tug at the strands.
eventually, you relax, easing up on sunghoon's hair. he comes up to face you, his mouth glistening with your release. he licks his lips, smirking at the way you watch him with awe.
"you still with me?" sunghoon asks with a raise of his brow. you nod weakly, hands coming up to cup at his face.
sunghoon leans down to kiss you tenderly and you moan as you taste yourself on his lips. he moves his lips against yours slowly, savoring each pass of your tongue over each other's, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away.
you peek down and see that sunghoon's cock stands red and angry against the black of his shirt.
"fuck me raw," you say before you can stop yourself.
sunghoon's eyebrows shoot up.
"are you sure?" he asks.
you nod, angling your hips up. restraint be damned, you want sunghoon and you want him now.
sunghoon chews down on his bottom lip as he lines himself up against your dripping hole. he coats his tip with your juices and you throw your head back as he teases you with his leaking cock.
"please," you whisper.
sunghoon presses a kiss on your cheek. "i got you, angel."
you feel him push in, stretching you out more than you anticipated. your mouth falls open in a silent moan as sunghoon slowly but surely bottoms out. your heart races and your mind loses all coherent thought. all you can register is that sunghoon feels like he's splitting you open with his dick.
"fuuuuck," sunghoon drawls into your ear.
"so fucking tight and so fucking good," he continues, bracing himself on either side of you. he moves his hips experimentally, pulling out then thrusting in and the two of you moan at the same time.
"give it to me," you pant, pulling sunghoon closer. "don't you dare hold back."
sunghoon grunts as he snaps his hips forward. you whine and moan like a whore as sunghoon fucks into you with reckless abandon. he keeps his eyes on your face, observing every expression that passes over your features.
"look at me," sunghoon orders as you let your eyes flutter close. "i said, look at me."
you obey, peering up at sunghoon through your lashes. he grabs your jaw as he hammers even harder into you. you cry out brokenly as you feel him deep within you. he's like a man starved, eyes wild as he takes you like this. rough and uncaring and oh so desperate.
"waited so long for this," sunghoon grunts. "to have you moaning and begging under me."
you feel tears prickle in your eyes, half from sunghoon's sharp nails digging into your cheek and half from the way his cock repeatedly punches against your cervix. it hurts but it's a pain you'd like to savor.
"god," sunghoon says, his face scrunching up in pleasure. he momentarily closes his eyes as he moves his hips even faster. he turns back to you, and by this time, your tears have escaped, streaking your face.
"fuck yeah, cry for me," sunghoon curses. "my pretty slut, weeping over my dick."
"oh, fuck—"
it came so suddenly, so unexpectedly that you can physically feel your body jolt. your second orgasm of the day rips through you, brought about by the filthy words escaping sunghoon's mouth. you hear him practically growl above you as he stills, your cunt clenching down so hard he's unable to move. you feel him twitch inside you and a second later, the warmth of his cum follows, shooting deep inside.
you're full-on crying now, mind hazy from pleasure as sunghoon catches himself before completely crushing you with his weight.
you wrap your shaky arms around sunghoon's shoulders, stroking his hair as the two of you calm yourselves down. sunghoon pulls out a minute later and you wince, immediately clamping your legs together to keep all of him inside you.
sunghoon plops down next to you, breathing heavy as his eyes stare at the ceiling. you hug your knees to your chest, hoping that nothing stains benj's sheets.
"fuck, that's a good girl, keeping all my cum in," sunghoon says through breathless chuckles. you groan, swatting at his chest.
"get tissues or something," you demand weakly, rolling over to your side. sunghoon pulls you close and cradles you against his chest.
"later," he murmurs, kissing you on the forehead. "just wanna hold you."
you hum in agreement, letting your eyes droop close. the two of you lay there, unmoving for a few minutes.
you initially think it's your imagination but you can hear faint footsteps coming down the hallway from outside benj's room. just as your eyes fly open, a loud knock thunders against the door.
"are you done?" comes benj's muffled voice from the other side.
"as much as i wanted to stay and watch, that might not be something you guys are into, so i gave you your privacy," he continues.
you and sunghoon look at each other, clearly panicking.
"but please, for the love of god, don't do it on my goddamn bed next time!"
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Marvel Fanfiction Masterlist
| Smut ❤️🔥 | SFW Spicy 🌶️ | Angst ❤️🩹 | Fluff ✨ |
Imagines
Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙
Little Devil 🌶️
You’re tempting him to sin.
Ruin Me 🌶️
Say less.
Bucky @ Ulta ✨🌶️
You dragged him with you.
Five Senses ❤️🩹✨
You walk him through the grounding method.
Steve Rogers x Reader ❤️
Like Sin 🌶️❤️🩹
Your possessive boyfriend accuses you of cheating on him with his best friend- and you decide to rile him up.
Loki x Reader 💚
Yearn for You 🌶️✨
You’ve been friends since childhood, after all this time could he truly feel nothing for you?
Winter Rose Drabbles
The Winter Rose, an ex HYDRA assassin trauma bonded with Bucky Barnes in the aftermath of their deconditioning. They’re walking the fine line of love and friendship and both of them are too afraid to cross it.
Bucky Barnes x Winter Rose 🥀
Wounds ❤️🩹✨
Wash Over Me ✨
Fuck the Line 🌶️❤️🩹
One Shots
Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙
Temptation ❤️🔥
You text your boyfriend a nude selfie while he’s working and now he can’t stop thinking about it.
Good Girl ❤️🔥
So close you could taste it- but only if you begged him well enough.
Wants and Needs ❤️🔥
You come home late from girls night knowing Bucky will still be up. You want need him and you’re finally going to let him know.
Little Bookworm ❤️🔥
Your boyfriend can’t think of anything more adorable than watching you read. One night while you’re in the shower he picks up the book you left on the nightstand: “Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton” and thumbs through it, very quickly realizing just what kind of books his sweet little bookworm is really into.
Watch Me ❤️🔥
Anon request: “could you do something enemies/rivals where bucky accidentally finds out that you have a mirror kink during a training session?”
Stucky x Reader 💙❤️
Untitled - In progress ❤️🔥
Multipart fics
Bucky Barnes x Reader 💙
Ready to Comply Part One ❤️🔥
Tony Stark's shy, curvy intern finds herself fighting for her life when the quiet and reserved ex-assassin she's been pining after for nearly a year has been activated by HYDRA and given the order to kill her to prevent the completion of the new tech she's been developing alongside Tony Stark and Stark Industries.
Ready to Comply Part Two ❤️🔥
The second installment of Ready to Comply.
Ready to Comply Part Three - In progress ❤️🔥
Teaser
Taglist (Taglist is open):
@littleone2001 @suz7days @truthfulliarr @lilacka @writtingrose @samsgoddess @loveisallyouneed1125 @vicmc624 @millercontracting @wildernessflora @mydorkyboys @blackhawkfanatic @honestlywork @ladyvenera @cavity-exe @ihavetwoholesforareason @km-ffluv
To be added to my taglist for upcoming works, leave me a reply on this post.
#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#james buchanan barnes#sergeant james barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#loki x reader#bucky barnes smut#captain america imagine#captain america x reader#steve rogers x reader#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier smut#avengers smut#marvel smut#masterlist#smut masterlist#sjstark#sjwrites#smutty fanfiction#fanfiction writer#bucky barnes fanfic
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baby honey
summary - it’s the summer of ‘69 and you meet international rockstar harry styles on your summer holiday
warnings: swearing, assault, violence, kissing, shitty parents, self deprecation
pairing: rockstar!harry x reader
word count: +5.1k
California was fucking hot.
The sun was a burdening heat on the back of your neck, whilst the humidity ran you dry. For someone who came from a cold country, the sunny West Coast certainly was a place unlike anything you’d experienced before. It was here that you felt like permanent summer. Every day was sunshine and colour.
It was mid-summer of 1969 and it was about to be the best summer of your life. School had finished and you had already spent one year as a journalist just as you’d always wanted. You were lucky that your dad was already into the journalism industry, otherwise it would have been very difficult to get in to. As a celebration for a successful year and a 19th birthday treat, your family were treating you to a holiday in California like you’d dreamt of since you were little.
The resort you were staying in was in Malibu - your dad having connections made sure you could stay in a knock-out complex for your first time in Cali. There was a huge, blue, swimming pool that you couldn’t wait to use and cool you down. The view from the villas was breathtaking - the ocean only a hundred metres away, crashing against the coastline with a roar. The sunset ran perfectly down upon the villa, making the outside hammock the perfect place to cosy up and read your favourite romance books.
Everything was perfect. Especially when you met him.
It was in the evening that you first saw him. You knew him, of course you did, from the endless repeats that he played on your car radio. You had seen his face plastered on some of the biggest billboards in the country. He had sold more records than The Beatles. He was a fucking legend and you couldn’t quite get over that he was in your holiday resort.
Your eyes followed his figure as he walked towards the pool bar. He was wearing short yellow swim trunks and had an open white shirt on top. A cigarette in his hand whilst he ordered some drink, alcohol filled no doubt. His figure was incredible, not too muscly but nowhere near skinny. He was perfect and he was making you blush just by getting to eye at him.
A tall, blonde, woman with legs as long as a giraffes neck walked next to him and leant over the bar slightly to show off her cleavage. You tutted at how obvious and flirtatious she was. It was gross that women literally threw themselves at men like him, just because of how successful and beautiful they were. He then requested the bartender to buy his lady friend a drink, curling a hand around her waist as he leant into her ear to whisper something.
Even though he was 26 years old, you were still completely infatuated by him. He was an absolute God in your eyes, rivalled by no-one. But, he was Harry Styles and Harry Styles was only infatuated with one person; himself.
•••••
“Y/N!”
Your dad called from within the villa. It was two days later and you hadn’t seen Harry anymore, not that you were actively looking for him or anything.
Putting on an oversized yellow shirt, you buttoned up the top two buttons to cover yourself and your floral-orange swimsuit a bit better. Today you were going down to the pool again, your dad having to meet someone for business in the bar area. Your mum was going to sunbathe and you were going to swim to cool yourself down from this exhausting summer heat.
“Yeah?”
“Come on! We’re leaving now!”
You groaned, grumbling that this was supposed to be a relaxed holiday and not just some rushed vacation. Grabbing your pool bag you threw in your favourite Austen novel and other necessities, before catching up to your parents.
The pool was quite busy, but quiet enough to grab an excellent spot on the sun loungers. Due to the resort being fairly pricey, it was mainly adults staying here and so there were no rowdy children running around. It made the atmosphere relaxing and almost spa-like. This is exactly what you envisioned when someone asked you what your ideal summer looked like. The pool was quiet, with only a few people swimming lengths. Your mum and you set up on some sun-beds, whilst your dad wandered to the bar to meet his client.
“Did you put on son lotion?” Your mum asked.
“Yes mum.”
“Don’t want to get wrinkles, Y/N.” She added, even though you told her that you’d put it on already. Your mum was all about looks and how your portray yourself to the public. She was overbearing about it, setting stupid standards for a 19 year old to abide by.
“I know mum.” You sighed, taking off your shirt and tucking it into your bag.
Your mum laid down and got to tanning immediately, making sure that she was angled perfectly so there were no flaws on her body. Your mum was very healthy and on a very strict exercise diet, which you didn’t care anything for because you loved yourself for who you were. Unfortunately, your mum could be sharp with her words and cut you like a knife if she wanted. Often she commented on your wider hips and larger boobs, but mostly on your little muffin top on your stomach. They were all parts of you that you had gotten to love and it was annoying that your mum couldn’t just do the same.
“Where are you going?”
“To the pool.” You said, sliding on your sandals so not to walk on the scolding pavement around the pool.
“Take your cover up.” Her words pinched you, making it seem like you in a swimsuit was something you should be embarrassed by.
Instead of listening to her, you laughed and walked off without your coverup. You turned around to see her shake her head before returning her head onto the lounger for her nap. Turning back around you-
“Hey, watch ou-.”
Before you knew it you’d slipped on a pool of water and used the person in front of you as support. Unfortunately they weren’t as stable as you thought and therefore instead of remaining upright, you both went flying sideways and splashing into the cool pool below. The water went all your nose and your eyes had closed two seconds too late. Your body stayed tangled against the other persons, before they kicked off you, into your ribs, and pushed themselves back to the surface.
Pushing yourself up the surface next you let out a deep gasp, coughing as you expelled all the chlorinated water from your nose and throat.
“Fucking hell.” The person gasped, gaining their own air back.
“You just kicked me in the ribs, fuck!” You groaned, knowing that was going to leave a nice purple bruise. That was going to be flattering.
“Oh I’m sorry. It’s not like you were the one that fucking pulled me into this shittin’ pool.”
Turning around and ready to slap this guy in the face, your words got stuck in your throat as you realised who you had pulled into the pool with you. His hair now stuck to his face instead of nestled with curls on top of his head. His sunglasses now floating in the pool next to him instead of laying on his head. And if he were to get out of the pool, no doubt the black t-shirt he wore would stick to his muscles like hot glue.
“You.” You gasped, actually appalled that the first and only conversation you’d have with your only ever crush was this. You suddenly understood the asshole rockstar personality everyone talked about him having that you stubbornly dismissed.
“Yeah, me.”
“Dickhead, is what you are.” You said, which he looked slightly taken aback by.
“Me? Dickhead? Honey, you were the one that pulled me into the pool.” He argued back, kicking his legs to stay afloat.
“Could’ve warned me there was a puddle though, no?”
“Honey, I’m not your fucking daddy. Learn to walk yourself.”
Okay, that was not supposed to send tingles throughout your entire your body but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t. Jesus fuck, why did the asshole have to be hot?
“Yeah well-.”
“Styles. Thought we said we were meeting at the bar, not in the pool.” Your dad said as he stood by the waters edge.
Your faced dropped its colour, even the sunburn leaching away from the pigment of your skin. You turned your head between your dad and the very attractive rockstar floating in the pool next to you, trying to understand if what was happening was what you thought was happening.
“Dad? You know Harry Styles?”
“Actually, it’s just Harry.” Harry interrupted.
“And I don’t give a shit.” You sneered.
“Language Y/N.” Your dad scolded you, making you embarrassed that this was even happening. “Styles, let’s go.”
You were too stunned to speak, not actually believing that anything that had just happened actually happened. Harry Styles had fallen into a pool because of you and now you learn he’s partners with your dad in some way. This was both the most exciting and most humiliating day of your existence.
“Guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” Harry spoke.
The way he said your name was the last thing on your mind that night.
•••••
“So let me get this straight. Your dad is in partnership with the Harry Styles and you found out because you pulled him into a swimming pool?”
“How bad is it?” You asked your best-friend Tiff, knowing she would know how to do damage control.
“Well I mean not everyone gets to push Harry Styles into a pool. I mean, to be honest, I would love to do that. Like imagine how muscles would all-.”
“Tiff! Not helping.” You shouted down the phone, trying to keep as quiet as possible since you were using the phone in the hotel lobby.
“Right, sorry.” She cleared her throat. “So? Is he dreamy?”
“He’s so dreamy.” You sighed, leaning back against the wall.
“Who’s dreamy?” You turned around quickly and was met with Harry right beside you. Your tongue got stuck in your throat as you tried to come up with reasonable answer to his question, seeing as you were definitely not about to inflate his ego by saying him.
He looked handsome, wearing a pair of high waisted brown trousers and a white wife-beater tucked in. A cigarette was held in his hand and his hair was gelled back now, unlike before in the pool. He had obviously freshened up because you could smell that divine aftershave every interviewer raves about. It was weird to think you were experiencing seeing and smelling him like this. No complaints, apart from the fact he was a giant, self-absorbed, ego-inflaming, prick.
“Y/N?” Tiff sounded on the other side of the line.
“O-Oh I gotta go Tiff. I’ll call you later okay?” You hung up before you could even hear her answer, too flushed with Harry in front of you to properly concentrate.
“Tiff? Is she single?” Harry asked, taking a puff of his cig and blowing it out in the perfect cloud. It was so hot watching him do that and you’d watch it on repeat every single day if technology allowed it.
“Ugh.” You scoffed, him ruining the moment for himself. “You’re such a man-whore.” You started walking away, no clue as to where. You didn’t realise Harry was following you until his voice sounded from over your shoulder.
“I was merely asking a question, Y/N.”
“Well I’m not answering it,” You told him, walking a little faster to try and loose him, “and don’t call me Y/N as if you know me.”
“Baby honey I can do whatever I want to, but you already know that.” His comment was said to get under your skin, which is exactly what it did.
You stopped abruptly, turning around so quickly that you bumped right into his solid chest. Your chest was heaving with frustration, trying to act more grown up than you were so size him up and knock him down. His smell was nearly too intoxicating to think, but you had to get around it in order to make your peace.
“No. What I know is that you’re a selfish and prudish asshole who parades his dick around for any woman or man that wants to sit on it.”
Your eyes kept locked with his, not wanting to be the one to back down first. Stupidly, your eyes drifted down to his lips just to see how perfect they were up close and it made your heart melt at how luscious they looked. The colour was the most pretty of pinks and the heart-shape to them really made you want to kiss them so badly. You held your restraint though and moved your eyes back to his, only to realise his eyes were looking at your lips. You licked your lips subtly, teasing him with what he couldn’t have.
The tension was thick between you both, but it was easily cut when the blonde woman from the other day came up beside him.
“Ready to go to my room?” She giggled in the most annoying and high pitched voice you’d ever heard. She also stank of weed, which made you part your gaze from Harrys’ and take a step back.
Your chest was still trying to come back down from the high of your confrontation with Harry. You stood by, not daring to move. Looking up, you noticed Harry still looking towards you and it made you want to melt like an ice-cream on a hot summers day.
“Y’know what, Stephanie, I think I’ll pass.” He says, untangling her arm from his body.
“It’s Stella.”
You had to laugh at how he had basically just solidified the point you were making earlier about him sleeping with anyone. You shook your head, actually feeling bad that he felt like his had to maintain his image in this way, before walking away.
Far away from him.
•••••
It was later in the evening and you found yourself at a nearby club.
Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to go by yourself, but you were so intrigued to see how freeing a night out by yourself would be. Your parents were unaware that you had snuck out and you weren’t even sure how you’d been granted entry into a place like that, but you were on your holiday and you didn’t care too much to overthink.
The club was loud and smoky. The air was filled with nicotine and weed, making it hard to breathe any oxygen in. The dance-floor was filled with people grinding and passing joints between one another. You recognised the music as Harry’s blasting through the speakers, making you chuckle at how you just couldn’t escape him.
Even though he was a complete arse, there was something so magnetic about him. He had this pull towards him that you’d never felt before for anyone else and you were enamoured. It helped that he was ridiculously pretty too.
The bar was packed but you managed to squeeze in a spot, between two men. Their bodies pressed against you and they smelt grossly of sweat, but what else did you expect from a night rave.
“What can I get for you flower?” The bartender asked you, noticing you in the sea of weirdly big men.
“Vodka cranberry please.”
“That all?” You nodded to him. “That’s 4.50 please.” He handed out his hand for you to hand over the money.
“I’ve got it.” Someone beat you to it and it turned out it was one of the men from beside you.
“Oh, thank you!” You smiled gratefully.
After getting your drink, you made your way to the dance-floor and started dancing to the music. It was a slow song to start off with, making you sip your drink and float around to the melody, before it changed to more upbeat and you were jumping up and down with no idea where the energy was coming from. You took a few puffs from a blunt rotation that was happening on the dance-floor, but after you’d finished your drink you were out of there in need of a rest.
The toilets were down a few corridors out the back, so you made your way down there. Stumbling was the word you’d rather use than walking, since the alcohol and weed were hitting you all at once. Lightweight.
“Looking for the toilets?”
You spun around and noticed the man that had bought your drink from before. He was a lot more sober than you, you could tell, which made his large frame intimidate you more than you would’ve liked.
“Yeah, they’re just this way I think.” You pointed down the hallway where a few girls were heading off to, because other than that your brain had no other intuition.
“No, there this way.” He pointed down a much darker hallway with no one else around.
“But they’re going that way.” You pointed to the girls, before looking back at him. You noticed that he had gotten a lot closer towards you.
“Well they’re going the wrong way.”
“Oh, okay.” You smiled, thinking he was being kind with his helpfulness.
He waved his arm as if to guide you down the corridor and you thanked him before ‘stumbling’ off again. Your heels on the ground and the constant buzzing sound inside your head left you unaware to the man following close behind. You kept walking down the corridor, becoming more and more confused as you didn’t see any doors or any toilet signs down here.
You stopped in the hallway near the end, coming to the realisation there were no toilets down here. You didn’t expect anyone to come up right behind you, so when you felt a man’s dick press hard into your back you let out a loud scream. The man grabbed one hand around your body to stop you from fleeing and the other hand went around your mouth to keep you from screaming anymore.
Once he had pressed your body up against the wall with a harsh push, you began to slowly sober up and realise the man had had bad intentions all along. Your head hit the wall with such force it was almost like the sobriety was knocked right back into you.
“Ssh, ssh. I’m just getting you to pay me back for that drink. You left without me letting you know that it wasn’t entirely for free.” He spoke as you struggled against his hold.
You moved your head to the side to see if there was anyone down the corridor that you could try and get the attention of. But there was no one. It was just you and this man that was most likely going to assault you. Did he know that you were under 21? Or did he not even care? Did he not have any human decency?
“Let me go.” You tried to scream as loud as you could, but it was muffled by his hand. It only made him hold you harder, with the grip on your hip so painful.
“I don’t think so. Now shut up and be a slut for me.”
He kept his hand over your mouth, not trusting you enough, before moving his other hand to push up your leg and underneath your dress. You kicked your legs as you tried to escape his hold, pushing with all the force you could, but he just kept on going.
You bit down on his hand, not even caring the taste of blood on your lips from how hard you’d bitten and although it made his hand leave your mouth his hands on your body remained hard enough for you to impossibly escape.
“Help! Please someone! Please!” You shouted down the hallway as loud as you could, before the man slapped you across the face and went back to holding his sore hand over your mouth. This time he pressed jaw-crushingly harder, so much so that it was difficult to breathe.
The tears running down your face stung from the running mascara and your cheek now throbbed from where he had backhanded you. You closed your eyes, continuously crying, when the realisation sunk in that no one was coming and you were going to become broken here. It was clear now that you were not meant for this kind of lifestyle, and possibly this world. If you were treated like this by one sober man, imagine what the next one would do. Your heart hurt as much as your face and hips did as you began thinking of all the reasons for why you deserved this.
As you’d gotten to reason number three you no longer felt the mans harsh body against yours. You opened your eyes instead to see him being pinned up against the wall on the opposite side, getting punched in the face. You recognised the back of his head from anywhere.
Harry.
The relief that sunk into your system was overwhelming. So much so that your legs lost their ability to hold you up and the next thing you knew, they collapsed from underneath you and you sunk to the floor. You didn’t care as to what Harry was doing to the man, too much in a state of shock and pain to do anything other than breathe.
It was a minute later that Harry knelt down in front of you. His face found yours, eyes meeting eyes. He held out his hands to show you that he was asking for your permission to touch you with your consent. You moved your shaky hand into his, not speaking a word. You were worried that if you said the wrong thing then something equally as terrible as before might happen.
“Y/N, honey, look at me. Hey.” He made sure that you were looking at him. Your watery eyes met his soft and heartbroken looking ones. The grip on his hands was hard enough for you to know he wasn’t leaving, but soft enough so it didn’t hurt.
“I-I’m sorry.” You whispered, feeling like you had to apologise.
“Don’t do that. Do not apologise. You hear me?” He spoke angrily, not willing to accept you apology on behalf of anybody.
“Sor--”
“No.” He shook his head. “This is not your fault, okay? Y/N, look at me. Look at me and tell me that this is not your fault.”
“T-this is not my f-ault.” You said shakily, finding it hard to believe your own words.
“No, it’s not.” He agreed with you. “I am going to help you up and we’re going to go someplace safer and quieter okay? Is that alright?”
You nodded, but Harry didn’t let you up until he had verbal confirmation. “Yes! Please Harry. I want to go home.” Your eyes welled up and you began to cry again.
“Okay. It’ll be okay.” He promised.
Before he picked you up, he took off his leather jacket and swung it over your shoulders for a bit more coverage of your body. After he was satisfied, he used his arms to hold you underneath your legs and your upper body so he could carry your bridle-style. Your head instantly went to rest on his chest, closing your eyes to eradicate the bad thoughts from your vision. Your tears were silent but Harry was aware how upset you were. He shouted at people to get out of his way as he brought you outside and into his car.
Some time later you found yourself awakening from the comfort of a king-size bed. You were confused and scared at the same time.
You immediately touched your fingers to your cheek to feel for a bruise and it was painfully there. You hands started to shake at the thought that all of that had happened and now you were in a strangers bed. Looking down at your clothes you were in a basic black t-shirt and black jogging pants. Your heartbeat started to increase over what had happened after you’d blacked out last night. When had you even blacked out?
As if to answer your questions the door to the bedroom suddenly opened and you curled yourself in a ball and pulled the covers higher. Your eyes softened though when you met Harry’s gaze. He was carrying a tray of something, but he stayed on the other side of the bedroom when he realised you were awake.
“Oh sorry. I thought you’d still be asleep.”
“I j-just woke up.”
“Well I made pancakes if you want any?”
“I’m not hungry.” You smiled kindly, wanting him to know you appreciated the effort anyways.
“That’s okay.” He smiled, placing the tray on the coffee table across the room from the bed.
“Did last night actually happen? A-and what happened to the man? How am I here in this bed and w-here even are we--”
“Y/N, woah woah.” He calmed you down, walking around the edge of the bed until he sat down at the foot of it. He made sure he kept his distance from you. “What do you remember?”
“Honestly, not much. Just pieces. I-I think he nearly touched me. He definitely slapped me and maybe he grabbed my hips.” You lifted the shirt to find finger print marks on your hipbone. They were intense and purple and it made your eyes water at the disgusting marks to your skin. “And you were there. You saved me.”
“I didn’t.”
“Wha... Harry, I remember you coming and pulling that... that man off of me and beating him to shit.” You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to think if maybe it hadn’t been Harry then who else it would’ve been.
“I was there. It was me. But I didn’t save you. If I did then you wouldn’t have any of those marks to your skin.” He said sadly, standing up and pacing intensely.
“Harry you can’t blame yourself for--”
“Well neither can you!” He shouted, running his hands through his hair.
“What?”
“Last night when we were driving home, you kept saying how you deserved what that man was doing to you. That you weren’t as perfect as your mum wanted you to be and that was the reason he went after you.” Harry let out a shakily breathe, before continuing to speak with a crack in his voice. “If I had gotten there two minutes later...”
“Stop Harry.” You shook your head, not wanting to thinking about the ‘if’s’. “Come here.” You patted the space of bed in front of you.
He was apprehensive at first, but when he sat down in front of you it was clear that he instantly relaxed. You sat up and reached for his hands in his lap, twisting your fingers around his until they were comfortably intertwined. You smiled when you caught his smile, knowing he felt exactly the same sparks ignite from your touch as you did his. His hands were so soft and yet so masculine at the same time, like he’d worked a lifetime and yet they were still so new.
“Are you okay?” You asked.
He let out a heavy breathe of air. “I should be asking you that.”
“Well too bad. I asked you first.” You bit your lip, stopping you from smiling like you had a high-school crush.
“You’re trouble you.” He shook his head. “I’m okay if you are, though.”
“That’s not what I was asking.”
“Well that’s how I’m answering.” He argues back and you admire how he’s returned to his stubborn self. It actually suits him.
He made you smile though, making you crash forwards and land your head on his lap. His hands quickly stabilise your body so that you can’t fall of his body or the bed. He liked the feeling of you so warm and comfortable around him. You felt like you were made just to fit beside him, at his side. His hands were hesitant to touch you at first, but you could see that he wanted to so you brought one of your hands to guide his to your neck. He found comfort there, caressing the soft skin.
“Thank you, for last night.” You said, thinking about how you hadn’t said it yet.
“Yeah.”
“Sorry if I ruined your night.”
“Will you stop apologising? I chose to help you. I chose to spend my night with you.”
“Why, though?” You asked, confused.
“Because believe it or not, I like you.” He sighed, as if the relief of keeping that a secret from you was finally free.
“Like me?”
“Like a lot.” He admitted, turning his pale cheeks pink.
“Me?”
“I feel like you’re missing the point here.” He laughed, stroking his thumb over your bruised cheek carefully as if his thumb was just going to magically wipe away the hurt.
“I feel like you are. Harry. You’re choosing to like me over... well like anyone else?” You sat up slightly, your face only inches from his.
“Why is that so hard to believe?” He furrowed his eyebrows.
“Well, because... because-”
“If anything derogatory towards yourself leaves your lips then I’m going to have to kiss you just to prove my point.” He challenges and you take his bait.
“Because I’m quite literally a nobod-”
He kisses you hard. Hard enough for it to hurt your cheek, but also lovely enough for you not to care about your cheek. You let him kiss you because it had been the only thing on your mind since he had sat down next to you. His lips tasted just like his personality, hot but sweet. He was a good kisser, being extra slow, careful and tentative in case he caused anymore damage to you. His hand cupped your bruised cheek with so much care that you melted in a pool of love for him right then and there.
The kiss kept going until you both had to pull away to catch your breathes. It was hard to leave his lips, going back for a secondary peck because you couldn’t resist, but the smile on his face and the glisten in his eyes was worth it.
“Never thought I would say this but, thank you for saying something derogatory towards yourself!” He laughed breathlessly, still cradling your face like you were the most precious thing to behold.
Before you could say anything worse about yourself, he pre-empted that you were about to and instead found his lips straight back onto yours.
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[1:00]
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as the dim evening sun cast long shadows across the college campus, you found yourself reluctantly attending a party, all thanks to atsumu’s incessant pestering. the day had been nothing short of a nightmare, and your mood was about as gloomy as the approaching night. the barista had gotten your order mixed up and in the process of getting your right drink, you’d embarrassingly walked into class late. then, you’d embarrassed yourself again by slipping and falling in the middle of the cafeteria—simply because you hadn’t read the sign that said the floor was wet.
the bass-heavy music thumped through the house, drowning out any semblance of conversation. you felt out of place and awkward, clinging to the solitude of a corner, clutching your red cup with a weak smile in a white sweater and jeans.
atsumu had disappeared into the throngs of people, leaving you alone to fend for yourself. you should have known better than to trust him with your night, but you didn’t have the heart to refuse him. your eyes darted around the room, seeking refuge from the growing discomfort.
you were aware of familiar faces around you. perhaps you convinced yourself that the girl you exchanged smiles with in the hallway was someone who knew you, or that the guy who once kindly retrieved your dropped pen had some awareness of your name.
you wanted desperately to leave. yet, dealing with atsumu meant dealing with someone with an uncanny ability to catch wind of events happening clear across the country. he could rival a news station or an international radio, for all you knew. the prospect of leaving without him knowing seemed futile; either someone would spill the beans, or atsumu would uncover the information in his uniquely unpredictable way. understanding the ways of that guy's brain was a feat beyond comprehension.
you wish osamu was here. or suna. but god knows where those two were.
"oh my god, it's you!" you felt someone tap at your shoulder. you turn, seeing someone from high-school. no, no, no, this is not what you expected when that piss-haired setter said "all the cool people will be there" or something like "how long will you sulk at home".
"hi, kira," your voice falters as you meet her gaze. she used to share managerial duties with you back in the high school volleyball club. memories flood in of the numerous times she'd relentlessly targeted you just for your friendship with the twins and suna. her animosity persisted even when you extended kindness. there was that one instance she trapped you in the broom closet post a volleyball match, and you'd sat in there surrounded by cleaning supplies. osamu eventually discovered you, with your hair plastered to your face from hours of confinement and sweat.
"look who made their way to tokyo," she grinned, "didn't know you had it in you."
you almost scoff. after the dreadful day you'd had, you didn't want to deal with her. this wasn't high-school anymore. you were adults. hopefully, she'd grown a brain by now.
"yeah, i'm trying to pursue physiotherapy," you nod along. she rolls her eyes, "what, so you wanna follow around atsumu for the rest of your life? don't you have your own interests?"
"i'm sorry?" you furrow your eyebrows, "where did you get that from?"
"everyone knows that the only reason you even have a social life is because you grew up with the twins," she says, matter-of-factly. you grit your teeth, clutching your cup. you'd had enough for today. you really did. you were trying your hardest not to say anything back.
"in fact, the only reason osamu never went for me is because of you," she takes a sip out of her cup, "i wonder why he even looks at you like that when i'm literally right here-"
emphasis on 'trying' your hardest. fuck that, you think.
"look, i've had enough of your bullshit," you spit out, "either get a life or leave me alone. not everyone wants to fuck their friends. now, if you'd excuse me-"
that's when she does it. spill her wine all over your white sweater. you look down at the stain, wool sticking to your skin. horror fluctuates through your face for a moment before you say, "god, real mature of you, kira. ruin someone's sweater just because they don't want to be near you. fuck."
"good luck getting the stain out, you little shit," she whispers in your ear, walking away. people give you stares, and suddenly you feel like you're back in school. whispers fester themselves into your ears and you feel small. you wish you could tell atsumu off right about now. that this party would suck and end up making your already shitty day worse. but he was nowhere to be seen and your eyes felt heavy. you weren't even sad—just stressed and angry that your sweater got ruined.
osamu gave you this sweater a few months ago for christmas. you hated that you wished he could've been here to save the day or something. you hated that you always wished for that. for him to see you, care for you, or save you. the weight of the day, the wine-soaked sweater, and the longing for someone who wasn't there pressed on you, a symphony of discontent crescendoing in the backdrop of the party's superficial revelry.
when were you going to learn that no one would come to save you?
and so you ran, out from whoever's house this was. tears threatening to drop, you sniffed in a sharp breath as you clutched yourself. your throat felt dry, and when your eyes landed on a smiling suna who widened his arms to say hi, you turned the other way. he seems confused, calling out for you—but you keep walking. you should've never come.
when you reach your apartment, closing the door behind you swiftly, is when you finally let yourself cry. why couldn't you simply walk away? why couldn't you ever pick yourself in a group of people? was it really that important for you to stand there after the first insult about how you made it to tokyo? why was she even there, anyway? as you collapsed onto your worn-out couch, the weight of teenage angst pressed against your chest. the city lights flickered outside your window, mirroring the turmoil within. tokyo, with its bustling streets and neon signs, felt like a maze of emotions, and tonight, you were lost. suddenly, everything about your home seemed suffocating too.
your phone rings. you ignore it.
but then, notifications start piling in out of nowhere. you hear the specific 'ding!' of the groupchat around seventeen times before you pick up the phone.
videos, texts, and calls stare back at you. two videos that suna had sent, then spammed the chat along with atsumu. calls and texts from osamu, asking for where you were.
the doorbell rings.
you look up from your screen, blinking profusely. lips parted and brows twisted into a knot, you walk up to the door—still in the soiled sweater and black jeans—and open it. a panting osamu stands in front of you, holding the side of your door for support as he looks up and says, "hey."
"hey," you mumble, "what are you doing here?"
he narrows his eyes at you, standing up straight, "what do ya mean 'what am i doing here'? i texted and said i was comin'. didn't you check your phone?"
"not really, no. i was just about to, though," you shake your head then you look down at your sweater,, "i've had quite the shit day."
"i see that," he chuckles, "can i come in?"
you swing the door open wide, and he slips off his shoes at the entrance, shooting you a sheepish grin. "might wanna check the group chat now," he suggests.
with a sigh, you retrieve your phone from your pocket, fingers dancing across the screen to open the groupchat first. suna and atsumu's inquiries about you fill the screen, but as you scroll further, a wave of emojis and messages like "DESERVED LMAO" catch your eye. and then, a video.
you tap on it, and suddenly, the screen is alive with the sight of miya osamu vehemently berating the woman who had insulted you. the clip unfolds with him ordering her to leave, or face even harsher consequences. a barrage of swear words fills the air, leaving you almost breathless as you try to process the intensity of his acts.
"what's wrong?" he asks, when you toss the phone onto the coffee table. you shake your head, "you don't have to come rescuing me every time i'm in trouble."
"well, honey," he smoothly looks at you. you shake your head, "no. do not use that word. you've lost pet name privileges."
"hey, that girl trash talked ya and terrorized ya for all o' high-school. and now she ruined the pretty sweater i got ya. that's the first gift i gave ya after i confessed!" he says defensively.
"no one even knows about us, 'samu!" you chuckle. he looks at you judgily, as if asking whose fault it is that your relationship is so private. you pout, changing the topic, "although i'm sad about the sweater. it's all pink now."
"i'll get you another one," he groans, walking to you, "i'm learning how to crochet from ma on video-chat every weekend. granted, i can only do granny squares for now, but i promise you'll have a new sweater in no time."
"you're going to make me a sweater from scratch?" you coo, "what a great boyfriend you are."
"stop cooin' at me like i'm yer childhood dog," he grunts, "let's get this sweater off and you in the shower."
"what, so you can join me?" you raise an eyebrow. he gives you a cheeky smile, and you shake your head, "i feel like shit. maybe afterward."
"pizza and movies?" he immediately suggests.
you grin, "that too. maybe some hot chocolate."
"on it."
note: headcanoning that atsumu and suna come to reader's apartment and find osamu there the next morning and wreak absolute havoc.
© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.
#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu x reader#miya osamu x reader#osamu miya x reader#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu hurt comfort#haikyuu imagine#miya osamu x you#miya osamu fluff#miya osamu x y/n#osamu miya fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#haikyuu!!#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons
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Some of the responses to my last post have made me realize that maybe Bakugo's trauma isn't as well understood as some of the other characters', and, because I have free time today, I figured I might as well break it down in chronological order and work from there (warning you now: this will be long).
To begin with, there's a lot of obvious things about the Sludge villain incident that would be traumatizing for basically anyone. And as much as Bakugo tried to shove off the after-effects, we know he was scared:
But there are a lot of Bakugo-specific reasons why the Sludge villain really fucked with his confidence and sense of self-worth. For one thing, while we see Midoriya getting attacked, he's rescued by All Might almost instantly. He barely has time to realize he's suffocating before he's free. Bakugo? Not so much. It's unclear how long, exactly, the Sludge villain holds him hostage, but it's at least a few minutes. Which doesn't sound very long until you remember that Bakugo was fourteen, couldn't breathe, and, because he isn't stupid, was completely aware that multiple pro heroes were basically standing around watching him be brutalized and doing absolutely nothing to help.
The only person who did help was Deku. The only person. The only person who gave enough of a shit about Bakugo to try and save him was the person he has the most complicated relationship with: his rival, his victim, his childhood friend, the person he feels both the safest and most exposed with. The person he measures himself against constantly, and internally finds himself lacking. So not only is all of this happening, but Deku—who just hours earlier Bakugo was mocking for being weak—is the one person strong enough to try and do something, and gets front row seats to Bakugo's own weakness.
Then All Might shows up and saves Bakugo from what is, at that point, the most humiliating, terrifying thing that has ever happened to him. But of course Bakugo isn't happy about it; he never wanted to be saved by All Might, and meeting his hero for the first time the way he did? What Bakugo wanted, desperately, was to prove himself to All Might, and instead he's just another dumb kid that got saved from a villain attack by the greatest pro hero who ever lived.
Not only that, but this was in public. It was televized. Bakugo was made so famous for it, people recognized him years later on the street based solely on his face. And while theoretically that's great exposure for him, imagine if the worst, most degrading moment of your entire life was broadcast on live, national television, and constantly brought up like some funny anecdote by people who don't even know you. He was fourteen years old being physically assaulted and strangled in front of the entire country and unable to do anything about it. Not only did that damage his pride, but it really fucked with him mentally. Look at what Midoriya even says about him:
That's not even to begin talking about how much pressure he puts himself under to be the best, no exceptions. He has a full-on panic attack when he loses in Deku vs. Kacchan 1 because he ties his self-worth so completely to winning he thinks of himself and worthless without it. Look how deeply it affects him:
That's not just bruised pride, that's Bakugo dealing with every single one of his insecurities being laid bare in public again. It's gonna just keep happening, too. And sure, like with this fight, sometimes he brings it on himself, but. Holy shit, this poor kid.
Then, of course, we have the kidnapping.
Despite their misapplication of their information, the LoV actually understands Bakugo pretty well. By that I mean, they figured out what affects Bakugo the most and capitalize on it to try and win him over to their side. They attack his image as a hero. Which seems kind of lame and generic, except it really hits home. Why?
Because that's his biggest insecurity, his deep, dark shame: Bakugo doesn't think of himself as heroic.
He's an excellent fighter and strategist, he's fearless, able to work well under pressure, adaptable, quick-thinking, and extremely powerful. All incredible traits for a hero. What he doesn't have is an instinct to save others. Deku does; he'll reach his hand out to anyone, without thought, no matter the cost to his safety/happiness. But Bakugo consistently struggles with this aspect of being a true hero. He's very aware of how important it is—every time he talks about Deku looking down on him, the thing he was laughing at Bakugo for? Yeah, this is it—and how very much he lacks it. And the LoV rubs his face in the fact that not only do a bunch of villains see him as being villainous, but the public he's supposed to be well on his way to protecting do, too. Yeah Aizawa defends him, but of course that whole experience negatively affects Bakugo. Especially because of what comes after.
Deku vs. Kacchan 2 is probably the closest Horikoshi comes to stabbing the audience through the brain with a knife labeled "Bakugo's trauma".
The whole fight is just Bakugo baring his soul in the most raw, heart-wrenching way possible. Look at what he asks Deku:
None of these lines should be ignored. This is Bakugo admitting that he is terrified that every bit of praise he's ever received is meaningless in the face of reality, which has proven that he is not worthy. All Might didn't think so, otherwise why wouldn't he have picked Bakugo to be his successor? Every ounce of skill, all the effort Bakugo has poured into his dream, it all means nothing. Why? Because Deku is inherently heroic, and Bakugo is not. Bakugo knows it, Midoriya knows it (why else would he be laughing in Bakugo's face if he wasn't intimately aware of his failures?), All Might knows it—hell, the whole world knows it. And because Bakugo is his own worst critic, he's gutted that someone like him, someone unworthy, destroyed the Symbol of Peace. His hero.
Does this not look like trauma? Does this not look like a kid poorly dealing with PTSD who's lashing out and trying to punish himself? And trying to purge his emotions the only way he knows how, through fighting? Who is desperately seeking some kind of compassion and connection in Deku, because he is losing his mind and can't keep going? He's a kid who's been given basically zero support, who's been expected to deal with not only being kidnapped and psychologically tortured, but also being the direct cause of Japan's sudden criminal uprising. That is so much pressure to put on a child. Any single bit of Bakugo's experience would be traumatizing by itself, but put together? It's like a personalized hell for him.
And then we have the Moment. The my body just moved on its own moment. Bakugo is so afraid for Deku leading up to this:
And afterward? It really affects him.
He's scared for Deku. He's beating himself up for not supporting him better, for not getting over himself and taking Deku's hand. He thought his closest person was going to die in front of his eyes, and then that person ran away. Of course that traumatized Bakugo.
Now, the reason Bakugo's trauma often gets overlooked (both in canon and in the fandom space) is, in my opinion, because he doesn't express his trauma in a way that's easy to romanticize. It often comes out as anger and violence, loud and obnoxious and toxic. His trauma responses hurt other people, specifically Deku. And in a character that isn't going for poor little meow meow bloodthirsty vengeance-based criminal or abused child with terrible social skills but a heart of gold, it's hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that Bakugo isn't really a bad kid so much as he's a kid who has had a lot of crap dumped on him and hasn't been given any tools to heal. He doesn't know how to express his feelings easily or clearly when he isn't in the middle of a fight, and he has very few coping skills to help him deal with his crippling self-loathing and inferiority complex. So when he reaches his mental limit, he—pun intended—explodes.
That isn't to say that Bakugo isn't responsible for his trauma responses, the same way every other character is. He absolutely deserves to be taken to task over them, and the narrative has done a good job of giving him one consequence after the other. But at the same time, he really is just a child who is doing his best in a fucked up situation. And while his actions definitely have hurt other people, the amount of mental torment Bakugo finds himself in on a regular basis deserves more sympathy than I think he sometimes gets.
I understand why characters like Shoto get more of the poor baby treatment, because he's the perfect victim: faultless, and his anger is almost 100% directed at the perpetrator, his father. Comparatively, Bakugo's trauma is messy and overflowing and directed at all the wrong people. But that's neither unrealistic nor even all that surprising, given what we know about him. And part of that is because his trauma isn't nearly as straight-forward, since it's so wrapped up in his own self-esteem issues that he blames himself, and then tries to refocus his hurt and anger on Deku to mitigate his own pain.
It's a big part of why I like Bakugo so much; he represents the unappealing side of trauma responses that are so common, but so often get overlooked because they're unappealing. He's a victim who doesn't act the way we want a victim to act, but rather the way they usually do, and for that I applaud Horikoshi on his realism.
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One take I am absolutely sick of is the whole “dragons are nukes” comparison making rounds in the ASOIAF fandom.
Literally how?! They certainly don’t have the destructive ability of nuclear weapons; AT BEST they reach the level of conventional bombers, and they probably were truly equivalent to those back in the Valyrian Empire, where there were hundreds of them. But in Westeros during the Targaryen era?! There’s never more than about a dozen of ridden dragons - which is another thing. A dragon without a rider is useless or worse. The ability to ride dragons is (intentionally, at least in part) confined within a single ruling family, and even that family relies on ancient knowledge from the now extinct civilization to even be able to use them. The destructive potential of the entire useable dragon population at any point in Targaryen history just doesn’t fucking compare to a fleet of bombers, though admittedly it doesn’t have to - since noone else has them and the only way to counteract them, that is, the Dornish scorpions, seems to be in limited supply, they can get much closer to their targets at ideal conditions (as opposed to conducting raids by night) and hit them with greater accuracy. As a nice bonus, the collateral damage they cause is actually lower, because they don’t have to destroy everything around them to make absolutely sure they hit their intended target. Either way, it’s absolutely preposterous to compare the destruction a dozen dragons can cause with an entire fucking nuclear arsenal.
They certainly don’t have the strategic implications that nukes carry - the one characteristic of nuclear warfare since its first and only uses on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is how much we AVOID using them in order to not make our rivals even think it’s acceptable to do the same. In fact, the mere possibility of using nukes is often used as a strategy - a concept known as nuclear deterrence (https://acoup.blog/2022/03/11/collections-nuclear-deterrence-101/) You could maybe argue that the Targs are using dragons as deterrents too, at least internally - but that doesn’t mean that much, because a) internally, they are good deterrents, but guess what, so is a regular professional army of a stable modern state (which is a bit out of reach for medieval rulers, so dragons are a workable substitute); b) externally, they don’t seem to work all that well, see all the squabbling over Stepstones, where dragons did help in battles against the Free Cities, but they certainly didn’t deter them from fighting in the first place.
Lastly, the cultural view of dragons is very different. Again, there is no moral weight attached to them like there is in our world. People are certainly afraid of them, but aren’t appalled at the mere thought of using them at all and don’t claim owning them makes Targaryens as a whole complete monsters. Sure, Viserys in the show and I am sure some people in-universe can be apprehensive, but that doesn’t seem to be the majority opinion. In Westeros, dragons are simply particularly strong weapons used by one family of feudal lords to get ahead of their competitors, terrifying, but not any different in their moral implications from, say, ballistae. But many people still use that comparison in order to evoke those moral implications IN THE READER, no matter how stupid and inaccurate it is.
Which is ultimately what bugs me the most. The comparison is not only inaccurate, it’s lazy and shallow; it doesn’t tell us anything deeper about dragons in ASOIAF, and in fact it obfuscates not only our view of the dragons in this fictional universe (which while harmless is still annoying as fuck) but of nuclear weapons (and conventional bombers, for that matter) in real life.
Because yes, giant fire breathing reptiles are terrifying. But we, the people of the post-industrial age, have outdone them. Wars in our era regularly cause destruction that medieval lord, even fantasy ones owning magical beasts, could merely dream of - and the worst part is, we do not seem to even realize it.
@horizon-verizon
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Epson boobytrapped its printers
“Innovation” has become a curseword, thanks to…innovation. Some of the world’s most imaginative, best-funded sociopaths have spent decades innovating ways to fuck you over. While the whole tech sector likes to get in on this game, no one “innovates” like inkjet printer companies.
Printer companies are true fuckery pioneers: the tactical innovations they’ve developed in the war on their customers would make Otto von Bismarck blush.
Selling printers with half-empty ink-cartridges:
https://www.thestar.com/business/personal_finance/spending_saving/2012/08/19/new_printers_may_not_have_full_tank_of_ink.html
Requiring useless, mandatory “calibration tests” that use up all your ink:
https://www.consumerreports.org/printers/the-high-cost-of-wasted-printer-ink/
Or just having printers reject partially full cartridges as empty.
When you’re at war with your customers, you have to anticipate that your rivals will join your customers’ side — not because other businesses are paragons of consumer protection, but because it’s profitable. So printer companies tried to use copyright to block ink refillers:
https://www.eff.org/cases/lexmark-v-static-control-case-archive
Then patent law:
https://www.eff.org/cases/impression-products-inc-v-lexmark-international-inc
When that got stale, they figured out how to put DRM in paper, too:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/02/worst-timeline-printer-company-putting-drm-paper-now
If we could harness the creative energy put into turning printer users into ink-stained wretches, we could end the world’s reliance on Russian gas in an instant:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer
Here’s a good one! Epson will brick your printer after you’ve run a certain number of pages, “for your own good.”
https://twitter.com/marktavern/status/1550605262700122112
How does that work? Well, Epson says that it designs its printers with little internal sponges that soak up excess ink and when they become saturated, that ink might run out of the bottom of your printer and stain your furniture.
https://epson.com/Support/wa00369
If this sounds like bullshit to you, that’s because it’s bullshit, as are the claims that excess ink could get into the printer’s electronic circuits and start a fire:
https://fighttorepair.substack.com/p/citing-danger-of-ink-spills-epson
If your printer’s sponges get too full of excess ink and you’re worried about it, you can easily and cheaply install new sponges:
https://youtu.be/EocI_8awj38?t=112
But that would deny Epson a new printer sale, and divert your perfectly good printer from joining the mountains of e-waste that are poisoning the global south, and we couldn’t have that.
https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/26/nixing-the-fix/#r2r
So they’ve rigged their printers’ software so that even if you replace the sponges, the printer can still refuse to print. Replacing or resetting this software requires that you bypass the DRM designed to prevent this, and providing a DRM-defeat tool is a felony punishable by a 5-year sentence and a $500k fine under Section 1201 of the DMCA.
But maybe this is a violation of consumer protection laws. Aaron Perzanowski thinks so, and he’s a law professor. If the FTC were to go after Epson on this, they would be genuine American heroes, celebrated as true guardians of the public interest.
Previously, the FTC resolved this kind of self-bricking fraud by ordering companies to disclose the practice at the time of purchase. This is not good enough.
https://www.perzanow.ski/blog/2016/7/14/ftcs-revolv-investigation
A real remedy — one that would prevent this conduct in future — would be a ban on self-bricking devices altogether, along with immunity from civil and criminal liability for companies and individuals who design defeat devices to un-brick illegally bricked gadgets, under patent, copyright, contract, and all other legal theories.
Image:
EFF/Hugh D’Andrade
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer
CC BY 3.0
https://www.eff.org/copyright
[Image ID: EFF's printer DRM banner by Hugh D'Andrade, depicting a printer with an anthropomorphic sick face vomiting out four bars of ink.]
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im in the car right now and it's zoomin through the highway like a sequoia seed fucking like a bullet train. but hrrrr HRRRR HRHRHRHRHR HRHRGRGRHRHRHR alpha w wolf yuuta :)))) who is sweet and tender and shy and takes diligent care of his friends with you, the first alpha of the group. naturally, you pair up for effeciency, and to learn from one another. only for you to grow far, far too close and like each other far too much. you take care of each other so devotedly it hurts. and sweet, dear yuuta sheds his meek disposition for an extremely aggressive one when you officially become mates; standing down anyone he perceives as a threat to you. even when he threatens to tear off the face of a stranger, he still quietly whines for your affection-- closely pressing his face into yours, kissing you till your lips bruise. he'll absent-mindedly fiddle with your hair and/or trace the skin along your nape and watch as you shiver from his touch, even make other rivals watch as you growl into his neck and squeeze his waist tightly. yuuta lets no one else touch you or love you like he does and applies the same to himself for you. so terribly possessive and obsessive and your sweet boy :))))!!!!
'zoomin through the highway like a sequoia seed fucking like a bullet train' darling<3 thank you for the soundtrack I love driving at high speeds so much hshshhs /srs; hope you get a good ride, don't forget to buckle up <33 [advice for the future, considering how much time has already passed]
*meme with cat & microphone* please tell us what it's like to be a rare supplier of alpha x alpha dynamic? /pos /hj
MUTUAL SUPPORT!
cw hybrid au implied + omegaverse au elements; heavy unhealthy behaviour, animal behaviour, heavy petting, bloody biting
When there are more than one alpha in groups, it is natural that a hierarchy of experience and strength is built; even if you often participate in puppy fuss and behave democratically, competition for the main role always remains an important part of any communication. After all, this is an internal struggle for a resource, an important part of any intraspecific selection, and even if society and years of evolution have made everything less bloody, these are instincts — something that has not yet been replaced by cold reason.
Yuuta is not interested in competition or the main role, and even when you pull him into a puppy romp, — allows you to easily win, anxiously clutching your clothes as you hover over him. Yuuta is just such a soft and gentle alpha, almost too timid and anxious for someone who has to take over the management and control of the future group and lead it. Maybe you wouldn't sincerely call yourself "the most skilled alpha", but definitely understood such things better than Yuuta — anyone understands such things better than Yuuta — and allow yourself to slip from original goals.
He's just looks like a puppy — both literally and figuratively — with this "eternally in need of help" face and anxious grabbing when something happens, looking for a smarter and stronger alpha in you, watching you to learn the same, and you can't resist when notice how he tries to repeat after you or uses the same methods (being without you) in order to be more like a "good" alpha. You know about it — and it's as damn charming as it is almost embarrassing, knowing that he's taking an example from you as another alpha. You're not that experienced or old, but he still looks with a twinkle in eyes, absorbing your every word or movement on the coordination of the group, and you, you can't say to yourself "don't pay attention" when you see his need to become a better alpha.
You don't say that he is under your care, or that you are teaching him, or that he is your protégé — everyone understands this anyway, looking at how carefully you study each other and with each other; when you start walking only together or spend a lot of time alone, getting along with each other so well, that you can't avoid playful attention and small innocent jokes (not everyone decides to mess with two alphas). You do not resist and do not try to dispel them — you are not exactly in search of a mate; any partner is building a new group, and you are not ready to create a joint nest. Yuuta only blushes at this, like an overripe poppy, but does not answer anything, mumbling something when you ask if everything is fine, shyly looking away, but convincing that he is fine.
Yuuta smells even too nice for an alpha; something calm, pleasant, making you feel warm and good, and he definitely shouldn't smell so good for an alpha like you, but he does it, without flinching even when you sit closer, nuzzling his neck from fatigue and exhaustion, not preventing him from continuing to do his business. However, he is polite and affectionate enough to pay attention to you, standing still for your convenience, obediently raising and lowering head whenever you want, purring as you wrap your arms around his thin waist, snuggling closer. It's not that you were interested in other alphas — their smells were too sharp, their behavior was too competitive, their aggression was too reflective — but if it was Yuuta, then, maybe, you would be interested in alpha. As an exception.
Just in theory — it's not that you think of him as a possible partner or, even more so, as a possible keeper of your nest. Even if he was almost plush, he was an alpha — not the best choice for another alpha. But the way Yuuta strokes you, touching your skin with his fingertips and gently caressing, as if seducing you, in a sensual silence, covered only by the sounds of your common breathing, is more than exciting, and this is definitely the reason why your heart beats as fast as his.
... When Yuuta clings to you, wrapping his long legs around your body, pressing into you, whispering, almost crying, that he can't replace you with the partner you should have, — the best partner you will definitely have, — but he loves you, and the only thing he wants is for you to keep him close with yourself until you find someone better, letting him be around and take care of you, and it's so awkward and strange and embarrassing,
and you don't understand why you feel so hot when he whines, hiding head in your neck, gently scratching you and trembling on your chest, depending on you and any of your words or movements. He is dependent on you,
too dependent on you,
and you are too excited about it.
You cannot reject him, even when he naively presses his face to your face, whining like a puppy from fear and delight, trying to kiss you.
Yuuta is affectionate; so gentle and timid, putting chin on your outstretched palm and shamelessly exposing his neck when you leave your lovebites under loud purring, knowing that he will not hide them or deny that they are yours. He never denies or hides you.
(The shape of your teeth in the likeness of a marriage ring on his ring finger is more than eloquent about what you mean when call him your "mate".)
Even if Yuuta growls almost as shamelessly low, baring fangs when someone starts behaving wrong, too wrong, forcing him to wrap around you and almost bare claws, threatening to scratch anyone who moves too close to you — as a warning; no one even dares to violate your space, let alone find out what will happen after the 'warning'.
You are TAKEN.
He's purrs like a huge cat when holds the edge of his t-shirt in mouth, allowing you to touch him and slide your fingers down, treating him like a pet, massaging his stomach and squeezing thin waist, perfectly turning into hips and thighs, wrapping around you; his belly is cute, easily squeezing through when you lightly press on it, perfect for a knot, — but you don't respond to quiet whining when Yuuta watches you check something. His nest, the first joint nest, a small love nest for two, specially built for you according to your preferences, looks so good, but Yuuta is closely watching your every look at what's around to see your real opinion; you don't know if he's whining for you to tell him what you're doing or what you think about this nest, — you don't say anything, just leaning closer to him,
And Yuta gasps when you start humping, gently rubbing and making him bend in the back, allowing you to continue at a more comfortable angle, caressing even harder and faster through clothes, touching heated skin with your lips, forcing him to moan and whine while his body is pressed down, unable to move except to incoherently push his hips in an attempt to return the caress. Yuuta is flexible, agile, wriggling under you to grab your clothes, hiding face in your shoulder, hanging on to you tightly even when you lift him higher to continue pushing harder, hearing only a purr mixed with moans when he takes his face away from your neck to immediately snuggle back, looking for your smell and leaving bloody the marks on your neck — but you don't feel them at all, being intoxicated from everything that is happening, just feeling how Yuuta encourages you not to stop, everything is fine, he's fine, even when your smell becomes too much for an ordinary alpha in a nest of this size.
If he could, he would stay in this nest with you forever.
When Yuuta is almost hanging on you, sleepily purring, looking for a source of energy in you, behaving more than eloquently about your closeness, you are more than sure that no one else will approach you, even if you smell like another alpha. Yuuta just has this ability to intimidate others, although you would say that this does not come from biological reasons like smell (like yours), but from something more subconsciously social.
But even if he modestly and quietly intimidates others, you don't mind. In any case, he does it with the best of intentions.
(he doesn't need to know that you encourage him or know about it, however.)
Your smell can become 'too' much only for strangers when you grab Yuuta by the waist, possessively wrapping your arm around it, digging your fingers into side, probably leaving a bruise, but Yuuta only purrs softly, not letting you realize it. A soft, almost weightless kiss on your cheek relaxes you — only to get even angrier, feeling an attempt to invade your space. You don't know how it happens; you don't like it when someone flirts with him, and that's okay, but it's not normal — you're abnormally obsessive with him, and you know it when Yuuta is completely pressed against you, even if he hasn't taken a step himself, and his neck is pressed to your lips.
It's wrong, but if you could... you don't know what you would do to him or them so that it wouldn't happen again. So that no one else flirts with him, no one perceives your smell as "friendly", no one ignores that he is clearly not free. He's yours.
Only yours.
“Love, it's good, it's all good...”
Your mate.
“They just wanted to ask me...”
Your alpha.
“if I had someone.”
An alpha that also smells like other alphas is more successful.
In the end, collectivism and mutual assistance — if an alpha is close to another alpha, then the pack is more likely to survive than if there is only one alpha in the pack. Sometimes it happens that alphas specifically call several alpha-like betas to create the illusion of other alphas.
The principle of mutual support.
“You're mine.”
Yuuta wants to answer something, but doesn't know what, panting and whining, grabbing for you when you kiss him again; whining even more pitifully when you leave a bloody mark on his lips; only to lift head and let you bite his neck, biting the skin until it bleeds under his attempts to be quiet. Maybe you didn't know how to intimidate others, it was something more than you could, but you know what you can do.
Perhaps making sure that your smell becomes his smell will be a fairly short cut if you can't do the same as him.
(maybe this is what Yuuta really wants — but you definitely don't need to know about it, even if he wants you to know about it.)
#.spicy♡#🥮 — jujutsu kaisen#✉.yuuta okkotsu#🧸.omegaverse au#🧸.unhealthy#🧸.yandere au#me when me when me#when#when star#<33333#so sjsghdghd#THANK YOU FOR FOOD#hhhhhh#alpha yuuta x alpha reader top tier <3333#dom reader
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But if you leaned a little closer.
ps; all chapters are over a long-ish time period so by this point y/n and scara have OFFICIALLY been friends for a month or so, because the timestamps DONT MATTER.
y/n was waiting for scaramouche outside of their philosophy classroom he had said that he forgot something so of course y/n patiently awaited him before going to lunch.
scaramouche eventually arrived outside and grabbed y/n's wrist in a loose hold, allowing them the option to slip away if they wanted but y/n simply entangled their hands together, a smile present on their face.
"can we go to wanmin??"
y/n asked while slightly skipping along while they were making their way outside of the University building, scaramouche thought for a bit before shrugging.
"yeah, we can go anywhere you'd like."
he agreed while smiling faintly with y/n and eventually the both of them had arrived at wanmin restaurant, a homely aroma wafted through the open windows and the sound of dishes clattering and silverware clanking could be heard.
the two went inside the small restaurant and sat down at a booth, first scaramouche slid into the seat and then y/n slid in next to him while scaramouche expected them to sit on the other side of the booth.
"you aren't gonna- sit over there..??"
"nope!, I wanna sit near you."
y/n cheerfully said while nudging scaramouche which caused his breath to hitch, his mouth felt dry, his stomach was spinning.
"oh- alright."
he nearly stuttered while speaking due to the feeling off flusteredness that flooded him, he inhaled while giving y/n a sideways glance taking in the way their eyes lit up at the sight of the items on wanmin's menu, the way they'd brush their hair behind their ear, the way they'd lean against their palm while waiting after the both of them had ordered.
if he leaned just a little bit closer..
"hey you alright?? you're quieter than usual"
y/n turned towards scaramouche with a slightly concerned look on their face, putting the back of their hand against his forehead in an attempt to see if there was a fever.
"huh- oh!, y-yeah, yeah I'm fine uh-"
he mentally cursed himself for stuttering but he couldn't help it y/n was so close to him right now, he could make out the little details on their face.
"y'know if you leaned a little closer.."
y/n spoke while leaning in slightly making scaramouche's heart stop, his mind began spinning and he felt his stomach twist and turn.
Scaramouche felt himself leaning in despite his brain screaming at him for this being wrong, y/n was probably caught up in the moment.
"hey guys!, here's your food!- oh-"
Xiangling froze awkwardly as she watched the scene unfold, she never intended to intrude on a kiss if there even was a kiss that was happening but either way it felt awkward.
"I'll uh, just leave this...here"
Xiangling placed the two steaming dishes of food in front of them while quickly scurrying off, screaming internally for interrupting their special moment.
Scaramouche sighed in frustration now feeling upset because his and y/n's moment being interrupted, it made him slightly dissatisfied and disappointed he wanted to kiss them.
y/n felt the same feelings of disappointment swirling in their mind and they wanted that moment with but it was interrupted, y/n wanted to kiss scaramouche, they wanted to initiate the first kiss, they wanted to make the bold move and kiss him.
maybe next time.
Previous | Next | Masterlist
Synopsis; You and Scaramouche had been bestfriends all throughout your childhood, when all of a sudden he became cold and distant after highschool started. Soon you're both off to university, you hadn't realized you attended the same university until you bumped into him in your philosophy class. Now he suddenly has the idea to become top of the class, declaring you his academic rival, what the fuck was his problem?
Taglist — open!♡
@vuvulia @xingqiusliegee @frzenhans @beriiov @l-l-u-x-x @linn-a-a @chuuyaswifeeeee @angryhope @exhaustedcommunist @blurr3db3rry @thenightsflower
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Okay, here's the elaboration of @krakenguard's ask.
NSFW Ahead
Okay so let me start off by saying that I don't think there is much of a stigma around premarital sex in The Lands Between, especially not now that society has all but crumbled. Perhaps there is somewhat regarding royalty but that's more about the legitimacy of heirs than anything regarding the sex itself. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't even remember any spouse(s) and/or consort(s) of Godwyn's being mentioned so who knows, maybe all of the Golden Lineage are bastards and nobody really cares.
However, despite this, I still think Morgott would have a few hangups when it comes to sex by virtue of being an Omen. Since being an Omen is viewed by The Golden Order and society at large as a curse and a disgrace, I don't think it would be much of a stretch to believe that having sex with an Omen, or Omens having sex in general, is considered taboo. I don't even know if the offspring of an Omen would also be born an Omen, but it would make sense that in such a culture there would be a lot of propaganda and fear mongering going on to limit the amount of Omens reproducing to a minimum.
I could imagine such superstitions as "an Omen will fuck the Grace right out of you" being somewhat commonplace. So, Morgott was likely told that having sex with someone would cause actual spiritual damage to them, and internalized that whether or not he believed it to be true. He probably did not get much formal sex ed apart from that. Despite this, he's been around long enough to at least have a basic knowledge and understanding of sex. He has been celibate all of his life, but he very likely has urges at least occasionally that he takes care of quickly like another chore. He wouldn't see it as a "sin" per se, but he has enough self-hatred to still feel disgusted with himself every time he "gives in".
So yes, he definitely has issues about sex, but those are far outweighed by his issue of believing himself entirely unworthy of love. Thus, if he is at the point where he can accept that he is loved, it is relatively easy to accept that he can be intimate with the one he loves. For if he can love and be loved, something he previously denied, then many avenues and possibilities have just been unlocked for him.
Unfortunately, because of this, hatesex with his Tarnished rival is highly unlikely. Which is a bummer, because the idea of sexual tension boiling over in the midst of a heated battle leading to a rough and slightly bloody romp against the wall, all teeth and insults and forbidden desires is… whoo boy. But Morgott is simply too skilled at denying himself what he wants, and will refuse to act on it with anything other than his own hand. Even if he craves it, dreams about it, and can tell the desire is mutual, all he'll do is jack off, self-flagellate, and pray for forgiveness for wanting what he is unworthy of.
Likewise, if his lust is borne from feelings of affection and love, he will have a similar routine of pining and stewing in his own misery until he has gone through the process of learning to accept himself.
So by the time his stubbornness has given way, I'd imagine he's had thoughts for some time, and now that he has conceded that they are acceptable to want, he wants them badly. However, he is held back from making the first move or even bringing up the topic by his residual insecurities, as well as his lack of experience. He may have a basic understanding of sex and his own desires, but has little idea how he'd realistically go about it, which leads us to the elephant in the room.
(The elephant is Morgott. See, it's a funny joke because he's very big and an elephant is also very big and)
Yeah. There's a significant size difference at play here, and that is going to make the act itself a bit tricky. It's not as much of a problem if you headcanon Morgott has a vagina (an incredibly valid interpretation) though there would still be quite a few positions rendered impossible by his size. Personally though, I headcanon that he has a penis (for little other reason than I think the idea of Morgott's big monster cock is hot). Still, this isn't a challenge in all aspects! He can still be topped with relative ease! However, if the tarnished in question wants to fit Morgott inside one or more bodily orifices, there's gonna be a bit of a challenge.
It is not necessarily impossible, mind you. The fact that some people like fisting and that XXL size dildos are available proves that there would be some out there capable of taking The Fell Shaft™. However, it would likely require significant preparation and working up to, and for some be too painful or downright impossible. Morgott would likely go into this expecting for it to be impossible. I personally think that considering the nature of magic in the setting that there could be some magical workarounds that would make taking him easier.
Regardless, I doubt they would make it that far on their first foray into intimacy. Morgott, for all his inexperience and unfulfilled longing, would likely cum very quickly the first few times. However, this doesn't mean the experience will be bad. Even if he himself did not last long, he will dutifully ensure he fully satisfies his partner. He will start off awkwardly and stumbling as this is very new to him, but when guided by his Tarnished, he will get the hang of things and learn how to pleasure them quite thoroughly.
Also I think he'd usually be incredibly soft and emotional afterwards. Literally more snuggly than you've ever seen him. Is this even the same grumpy old man??
There you have it. I actually have a whole lot of other headcanons regarding Omen Racism as well as a culture of fear built off of the uncontrollable variable of mutations vs the illusion of progress and totality of order, as well as the trauma of giving birth to a child with horns, but that's an entirely bigger jar of caterpillars and this is long enough as it is.
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Business
contains: mlm, diluc ragnivindr smut, doggy style, anal, bratty vibes
At first, Diluc thought Diona had finally taken down Mondstat’s wine industry. He couldn’t believe it when Elzer told him that Dawn Winery wasn’t making nearly as much profit as it had been a couple of months ago. He’d overlooked that a winemaker from Liyue had set up their business in the nation of freedom. Of course, Kaeya and the Knights of Favonious kept the warm-blooded man occupied with their nonsense. At least it was nonsense in his eyes.
Diluc had set up a meeting with his business rival from Stone and Steady Winery. He hadn’t expected the owner to be small. He almost felt bad for looking so intimidating, but it wasn’t as if he could try and look friendly. He was dressed in all black.
“You want to buy out my company?” Li Jing looked dumbfounded, ear twitching.
“Yes, did you not hear me correctly?”
Internally, Diluc was amused by how much his opponent was fidgeting. The brunette was looking around the room, unable to look him in the eye.
“Why?”
“It would be beneficial for both of us.”
“Both of us?” Li Jing scoffed. “You’re a company native to Mondstat. The people will always love you and your brand. I’m a company that started in Liyue and decided to expand. I can’t help but think you’re jealous, Master Diluc.”
“I don’t have time to be jealous of your company. Dawn Winery is well known, and if your alcohol is under our name, your company will be respected.”
Li Jing rolled his eyes and laughed.
“I can’t help but think you don’t want to share the spotlight.”
Diluc narrowed his eyes.
“You’re quite cocky. Did your mother teach you to speak with that mouth?”
“No, but the Adeptus who took care of me did.”
Li Jing sat on the edge of Diluc’s desk, tracing the wood with his finger.
“This doesn’t seem like a business meeting. I’ve been to quite a few of them before.”
“What are you trying to get at?” Diluc crossed his arms over his chest.
“You have an ulterior motive.”
“So what if I do?” Diluc chuckled.
“I see you come into my shop every day. You don’t order anything, and you just sit there watching. What kind of weirdo are you?” Li Jing leaned forward.
Papers, documents, and books were shoved off his desk. Diluc had the brunette pinned against the chihua wood, hands held behind his back. Li Jing gasped, trying to wiggle out of Diluc’s ass. Bunny ears pressed flat against his head.
“Is that it? You just wanted to fuck your rival?”
“Big talk for a pipsqueak like you.” Diluc chuckled, leaning down so his chest was pressed against his back, bucking his hips forward teasingly.
“Sh-Shut up! I am not that short!”
“You know, you speak too much. Perhaps I shut you up, yeah?”
“Diluc– “
His words were ripped from him, and the redhead pounded into him from behind. A satisfied smirk found its way to his face as he relished the way Li Jing fell silent. He didn’t want to be in this scenario but couldn’t help it. There was just something so enticing about this. His rough hands grabbed the brunette by the waist to pull him closer. If possible, he wanted to make it so that neither of us knew where Diluc started, and Li Jing ended.
#diluc ragnvindr#diluc smut#genshin impact#genshin impact diluc#diluc ragnivindr drabble#diluc ragnivindr smut#smut#drabble
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Your Top 5 ships? :3
Hi there, so nice to see you in my inbox again <3
My top 5 ships, hmm? Let's start with the death note ones:
Lawlight: What can I say, enemies to lovers is my favorite. And these two are the best at it, so iconic that they could even be enemies and lovers.
Near/Sayu: Listen, I know these two don't ever meet in canon. But there is something so right about it. Sayu is Light's younger sister, Near can be considered the youngest of L's successors. They both have that younger sibling energy that fits so well together. They can even get together and bitch about their respective older sibling/guardian who are hopelessly stupid in love and then laugh about it too. I ship it.
L/Light/Misa: When two people obsessed with the same person take a look at their love rival and go "huh, I'm impressed at how you chase, we also have a lot in common, how about we get together and enlighten (heh) the one in denial?"
Remisa: Rem is Misa's constant companion and support and I believe if they had been given enough time together, Misa could have come to love and appreciate that too. This is, probably, the healthiest relationship in my ships, given that it's based on a solid foundation (of Gelus's sacrifice), and emotions over time.
A/B: I could have put mellodramatic here. The only reason A and B are here is because, well, they're a mystery with a lot of available fill-in-the-blanks-of-our-love-story. We know A died and B ran away soon after. It leads to conclusion that A mattered so much to B that B could drop everything Wammy's orphanage offered (the private education, the support structure, the connections, the money, a bright future, everything) just because A died. Imo, that takes a lot. A lot. The tragedy of their shrodinger's love story has me place them at fifth place over melodramatic.
Other ships:
I love death note but! I do have ships from other fandom that would be in the top 5 above if it weren't for the fact that most ppl expect to see a death note post on my blog. So, here's other ships below
Naruto and Sasuke (and Sakura): Using an 'and' instead of a slash or a ship name because apparently, the order of the slash is important? I think Naruto and Sasuke have a lot of chemistry and they should get together and elope together away from Konoha lmao. And and and, add Sakura in there. Sakura is determined, driven and obsessive enough to put even the biological Uchiha obsession and Uzumaki energy to shame. She wanted an Uchiha and she got herself an Uchiha, no matter a few literal Gods in her path. They all three deserve each other, to be together and have an happy ever after. Romantic or platonic, I ship them together as a Team <3
Tomarry: No, listen. In Chamber of Secrets, in the book, Harry calls Tom Riddle handsome three times. It's like he took one look at Diary Tom and forgot any word except 'handsome' existed. In Half Blood Prince, when Harry sees the pensive memories, his thoughts about Tom Riddle are all "he's going to grow up to be handsome", "even at this age, he was handsome", "his features were waxy and skin too pale but he was still a handsome man". You see? You get it? All Ginny gets is 'nice skin' and 'nice teeth', Cho Chang gets 'shiny hair'. Tom fucking Riddle gets "so handsome i forget any other word exists oh sorry you were saying Professor Dumbledore?" The movie has a lot of good scenes but it takes away Harry's internal narration that makes me me think he's so gay for Tom Riddle.
Sherliam: I don't know if you've seen Moriarty The Patriot. It's an anime adaptation of the Sherlock books with its own twist. I love it. And the Sherlock/Moriarty (William Moriarty, to be specific) is so blatant. They don't need an on-screen kiss, their chemistry is so good. Sherlock is determined to save William from himself and William is determined to martyr himself to save the world. It's so tender, I can't <3
Wangxian: wei wuxian and lan wanji have such character development, relationship development, such pining and longing and then such shamelessness, I love them. They're relationship goals, once they fix their communication misunderstanding.
#asks#ask for top 5#top 5 ships#there are more 5 haha#death note#harry potter#mdzs#moriarty the patriot#naruto
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I’ll always be there
Pairing: yandere!Jotaro x gender neutral!reader
Description: Your rival finds you alone and struggling. But something in him just...breaks.
Warnings: Eating disorder relapse mention, the word bitch used in a gender neutral way, self harm, yandere tropes obviously
Their words keep echoing in the back of your head as you run away from the restaurant you were supposed to have a fun night out at. “You’re too fat” “I would never date someone as ugly as you if I was single” “Do you even have any real friends? You should be happy we’ve kept you around”
You had taken it really well for most of the night. You were usually good at things like that and could hide your emotions easily when you wanted to. No one suspected that you were anything but your usual cheerful self. You had done your usual routine of giving them advice, saying things to make sure that they weren’t too hard on themselves, even paying for their meals. So why would any of them noticed that it hurt? That you actually did react to what they said? That you “let it get to you”?
Not that it really mattered. It hurt but when it came down to it, they were right. You were technically overweight for what your height should be weren’t you? A few years ago you had been skinnier. You had kept your figure right up until the point where you finally convinced yourself that food wasn’t a poison. That it was ok to eat what you wanted and actually enjoy it and have favorite foods.
You internally laugh at your past self. If only you had known what would happen when you got careless and actually let yourself go. That was why your partners over the past few years never wanted to stick around wasn’t it? They were just settling for you. You didn’t even have any personality traits that they really wanted because you were a disgusting attention seeker. All you were to them was “easy”. A hole they could fuck when they wanted to as long as they pretended to care. Something they could throw away when they finally got bored. Because you weren’t worth anything and they knew it.
When you got home, you didn’t bother getting out any food. You hadn’t ordered anything at the restaurant after they drew attention to your failures. If they saw you get anything that wasn’t a drink they would have pushed it further. Would have shamed you harder than they already did. You wanted to leave with at least a drop your your dignity even if it was the smallest fraction of one.
But was it really anything at all if you never had any to begin with? You curl up on the sofa. You had been hungry a few hours earlier, but it was better now. You didn’t feel it anymore. You were just left with a pleasant numbness that you remember used to come to you all the time when you waited long enough. Still, as you look down at your bloated ugly stomach, you realize that you shouldn’t have ordered those drinks. Even if your friends didn’t know enough about them to say anything, you knew how unhealthy alcohol was. How it was actually worse than ordering food. You really were a failure if you couldn’t even get that right. A failure that didn’t deserve anything but a fitting punishment for pushing people away again when you selfishly asked for romantic advice after your breakup. You should have known it would just be annoying to everyone. Wasn’t it always?
The next day, you were feeling a little bit weak, but you could still walk to work. Your arms stopped hurting after you had used your whole band aid kit. It wasn’t perfect but it had gotten the job done. You could probably zone out for a few hours. Work would give you something to distract you. A relief from the agony of the night before. Maybe if you worked overtime today it would help.
This hope was cut short the second you saw none other than Jotaro Kujo coming around the corner. You scowl back at him to match the look that always seemed to be on his face. You had known him for years, but that didn’t make the two of you close.
You had originally met when you were in high school. You had been confused when you saw the crowd of girls surrounding him. You were an exchange student and seeing that many people fawning over one boy was unheard of to you. It caught your attention and you approached the swarm, wanting to see what was causing it.
Unfortunately, you didn’t realize how close you were getting until it was too late. You had been shoved aside with a “Move it bitch.” that you hadn’t seen coming. You had immediately lost your balance, falling over and dropping all of your things.
Most people would have avoided someone like Jotaro after that, not wanting to get in his way. But you weren’t that kind of person. You tended to hold grudges and you couldn’t just take something like that lying down. Still, with the menacing aura surrounding him, you also didn’t feel comfortable confronting him head on. This made you resort to small things. Petty things. Acts of passive aggression.
You would take his notebook when he wasn’t looking and hide it in a random place in the school, making him take the time to look for it. If you happened to walk by his seat, you would “accidentally” spill your water bottle after loosening the cap. You would even take advantage of the fact that you were staying a few houses down from him, offering to bring him homework on days that he skipped and secretly throwing it in the trash.
Even with all of these incidents though, he never really seemed to do anything back. This was unusual since there had been other students that had gotten the shit beat out of them for less. But Jotaro never seemed to even confront you about any of it. There was a chance he hadn’t noticed, but he seemed like an observant person.
No, the only thing he did was silently walk with you to school. He hadn’t asked your permission or even spoken to you. It was hard to tell if what he was doing was even intentional, but it gave you the creeps.
You had decided to up your antics in the hopes that some day he would get too irritated with you to keep following you. That he would finally stop. But that day never came. Instead, the last time you saw him that year was when you were walking to the car that would take you to the airport and back to your home country. His gaze was more intense then and for once, he had actually made eye contact. It was enough to make you shudder and flinch.
You thought that would be the end of it. That you would graduate and go off to university, looking back on the Kujo kid as nothing more than a bizarre memory to speculate over. But it wasn’t.
On your first day, you had seen his familiar face once again. Sure he was wearing the white coat and hat instead of his usual delinquent uniform, but there was no mistaking those eyes that you felt burrowing into you before he turned his dark gaze away.
You tried to avoid him after that. While you had been eager to upset him when you were still in high school, you wanted things to be quieter now. More peaceful. More relaxed so that you could focus on your studies. The last thing you needed was to get distracted by someone you hated being around from your past.
Besides, there was something else that was more antagonizing now. Something that was much harder to avoid and fight off than Kujo. Your biggest enemy at your university was yourself.
You had never been good enough for yourself. You were one of those people who was overweight for as long as you could remember and couldn’t lose it. None of the normal ways that people usually got in shape worked for you. You could do weeks of intense exercise and see absolutely no changes anywhere on your body. You had also tried every diet in the book. None of them ever helped you like they were supposed to.
So you went outside the books, outside of the box. You practically threw the whole box in the metaphorical dumpster. You started eating as little as you possibly could and drinking as much water as you could stand. You would sneak into the campus gym at night when no one else was watching to use the equipment without having people stare. That was something you could never stand. How people looked at you. It was bad enough when Jotaro did it, but the mocking biting gazes of others was always worse.
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My steddie TOP 10+1 of January
Here are some of my favorite readings of January in no particular order and with some things that are not trigger warnings but I usually like to know.
Take the money and run by thisapplepielife
This is the first fic I read this year and it became one of my favorite ever. Eddie and Steve go on a road trip and fall in love across the country. It’s sweet, it’s funny, the characters are on point, and every detail is considered. I can’t explain how good this is.
ALSO, THE REFERENCES ARE AMAZING.
140k / period-typical homophobia - internalized homophobia / Happy ending / Rated E
that'd be the end of the last man on earth by pbandjeremiah
Years after everything goes down, Steve is in a plane from San Francisco to Chicago and Eddie Munson sits by his side with his two kids. Four hours of softness, good care of children and Stevie craving a family.
I actually cried with this one because of how beautiful it is and how nicely it portrays the wishful daydreaming of being a part of something.
9k / Happy ending / Rated M for like two seconds
Promise To Try by LocalCryptid7
Steve finds out the kids are hanging around Eddie and doesn’t want them to get in trouble. So he helps him get a job and graduate. They fall in love along the way.
This has everything. A slow burn canon rewrite, with realistic temporal setting, lovely Wayne Munson and great relationships, soft moments, fun moments, hurt moments, comfort moments, the whole deal. There are some heavy themes, tho, so mind the tags, they are great tags.
84k / Happy ending / Rated M
The Sun Is Gone, but I Have a Light by OfmdLins
THIS VAMPIRE AU IS LITERALLY SO GOOD. I’d pay for more of it. It’s wonderful, cute, funny, good consent talk, spicy time, and amazing ending.
“Chicago, Illinois, 1993. Eddie follows the recommendation of another vampire to visit a 'donor,' a human who lets vampires feed off them for a living. What he's not expecting is for said donor to be a ghost from high school past in the shape of Steve Harrington.”
I’m begging you, read this.
10k / Open but really good and soft ending / Rated E
A Hawkins Hallmark Christmas by Appledagger
They play Secret Santa and Eddie is decided to give Steve the best gift of his life, but to do it, he has to get to know him. Chaos, family time, pining and going around forgotten secrets. So good it hurts. Also! It has pretty good communication, I always enjoy that.
47k / Happy ending / Rated M
nothing quite like this by ashleigh
Wayne doesn’t like Steve. But maybe it’s a matter of time. A study of Steve Harrington and his relationship with Eddie from Wayne’s eyes. Steve is the softest boy ever and he grows into people.
5k / Happy ending / Rated M
waters so inviting by monstrousfemale (stresslinesandcigarettes)
Steve teaches Eddie how to swim, but no time is enough if it is by his side. So, pining, they both think it’s unrequited, swimming, softness, smut, what else do you want?
28k / Happy ending / Rated E
We'll Know for the First Time by Kikiz
They are friends. But one day, Steve realizes he’d choose Eddie over any date. Until then, oblivious boys pin for each other and share platonic intimacy. It’s very fucking cute.
This is a fix-it post-canon fic, slow burn, pining, fluff, smut, a homegrew graduation and all the love Eddie deserves.
41k / Happy ending /Rated E
I've been trying to figure you out, tell me then would you lend a hand? by eloquent_fairy
Where Eddie discovers Steve is not what he thought and wants to understand him. From preseason 4 to fix-it fic. He’s stubborn about it, but gets there. I laughed, cried and (mentally) screamed with this one. So many feelings and such a wonderful character study.
FOUND FAMILY MY FRIENDS
30 k / Happy ending / Rated T / Part of a series!
linger by yournowheregirl
Alternative universe. College Au. Rivals (kinda, not realy) to friends to lovers. Classic misunderstandings and angst. If you feel like stressing out with a lovely fanfic amazingly written, this is for you, my darling.
They fight for the same desk at the library and somehow become suddy buddies, but then become more. Idiots in love and protective ronance <3
45k / Happy ending with lots of angst before / Rated T
some nice young satanist by heuniversesaidiloveyou
It's 1991, Robin and Steve have moved to the big city and have an annoying metalhead neighbor. That’s how they meet Eddie again after 5 years. Ft. going out, experiencing queer joy and falling in love while trying to get over their past.
This one has angst and people getting hurt from internalized homophobia. Mind the tags!
40k / Happy ending
#fanfic rec#steddie#reading#ao3 link#i read a little too much you probably do too#i dont know how to make these shorter
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huh maybe i just didn't tag it, it was probably before i started collecting my batman headcanons under the #random headcanon tag, but I have always had a very specific noncanon vision for Ra's Al Ghul., one that i do understand a lot of people don't really like, but obviously that I consider pretty defensible, if not an improvement over the existing canon's mishandling of Ra's and the League in general.
See my beef is that the League of Assassins is just a cluster fuck of problems to begin with, both stylistically and internal continuity wise... For one, Ra's as written is just kind of an idiot and it's ridiculous to have to reconcile the idea that he is in fact this unquestioned ruler of this ancient order of assassins that's been operating for over a thousand years. On the one hand we can sort of blame the pit madness for some of it, but it's also clear that for all his scheming and seemingly improbable resources, he has literally never actually accomplished any of his organization's goals.
Secondary to this is that the league itself is just this massive stupid fucking hodgepodge of bad racist cliches. Why the fuck are they ninjas? Why do they use katanas and wear the stupid americanized ninja pajamas? Why do they keep showing up in like Buddhst temples deep in the mountains of Tibet? Also, in a bunch of his earliest appearances, why is he just a guy in a three piece suit and a cape? Also why would the leader of an ancient organization like the league of assassins have such a stupid, blatantly fake, and "i looked at an english to arabic dictionary once" name like Ra's Al-Ghul. (obvious answer is that it should be a title not a name, but then his stupid kids all take it as a surname)
My answer to all this(other than just ignoring a few of the dumber details) is that Ra's is not an ancient leader of the League of Assassins at all, he's a "modern" era usurper. A dark inversion of the white savior narrative and all it's inherent problems, a kind of supervillain Lawrence of Arabia(yeah yeah i know Tom King already did this with Adam Strange, but I've had this kicking around in my head for longer, shush) where he was sent to the Middle East as a British soldier in WWI to fight the Ottomans and much in the style of Lawrence parallel to him, rallied the locals to help in his efforts. While there he'd gain a certain appreciation and indeed a love of the local culture, but never fully forget his role as a foreign power come to exploit those people to his country's own ends. In that way his personal turning point becomes that he is unwittingly allied with the actual League of Assassins, and as the war begins to wind down, and he is forced to reckon with the idea of going home to England a nobody, or staying a war hero in the middle east, he goes full Heart of Darkness, and instead uses his military position and resources to seize control of the League for himself.
In this version of events, Talia would make the most sense as a daughter of the last of the actual blood line of rulers of the original League of Assassins, her mother being the daughter of the man Ra's overthrew. This impels her to her eventual take over, and her loyalty to the League over her father specifically. It also motivates her interest in raising Damian as an heir, as he has a more legitimate claim to the League via her than Ra's ever did or than Bruce would as Ra's' handpicked heir.
It would also give room for the original League to have been a force of relative good, developing their assassination and government destabilization tactics like their real world counterparts, the Order of Assassins, as the defensive measures of a smaller kingdom against the overwhelming forces of the neighboring rivals but more pressingly The Crusades. This creates a kind of golden age of righteous fury, where the League were noble just defenders of the middle east, and their destabilization tactics a safeguard against corruption rather than the comic's preferred route of 1970s era orientalist boogeymen where "OoOoooOo uncivilized brown people want to destroy americka!" Because the megalomaniacal world conquest horseshit is Ra's' doing, and a direct off shoot of Western imperialism, not something inherent to the League's actual founding history or culture.(and more importantly not just a recycled and displaced Fu Man Chu)
It does also conveniently make a slightly more sensible motive to the league's particular brand of generic super villainy: Where as their historical purpose would be to balance out power in their local region, that same balance left them open to destabilization at the hands of men like "Ra's" and Lawrence. So Ra's' plan is just to destabilize countries in places other than the middle east in the same way, to prime them for conquest. This makes his global network of assassins make more sense as they're all the in-progress cells of his would-be warlords gone "native" trying to blend in.
This all just making Ra's basically a giant Islamophilic orientalist weeaboo cosplaying this ridiculous caricature of an illustrious ancient warlord, aligning him and his delusions more with the writers who made him in the 70s, rather than the misguided fantasy they were tapping into. All the while his daughter sitting there in the background plotting revenge for a family she never even got to know, Lady Snowblood style.
Oh it also sort of helps rectify the goofy idea that Ra's otherwise would have had what like EIGHT HUNDRED years from the 70s, or over 900 from the current day as supreme ruler of the League of Assassins and only ever had like kids? Where as if he's only been at it since WWI, then it makes WAY more sense that he's only got a handful of kids. (I have the same issue with the idea that Vandal Savage has been loitering around since the dawn of human history but his only notable kid is Scandal and she's like what in her 20s?)
Also unrelated to the rest of this but goddamnitall give them a bitter centuries long rivalry with the Order of St.Dumas. They're an islamic kingdom of assassins and a secret society of crusader knights ffs
#random headcanon#honest i didnt even feel especially motivated to post this#in its own right#so much as it gave me something else to throw onto the pile#slowly building up my personal gotham rogues gallery
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