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#im still here and that's a victory in and of itself right?
villainessprefect · 1 year
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For a Idia Shroud x female reader or gender neutral it doesn’t matter to me, Could you do a one shot or scenario kind of story where he realizes that the reader keeps pictures of him (like they got a album that says “all of my boyfriend’s rare smiles I love”) because apparently they say that looking at a specific picture of him makes them happy or makes them motivated enough to start the day? You can take your time I don’t like to seem like a mean person and I also would like to complement your previous works of Idia! I enjoyed a lot of your stories of him :3
thank you for the request!! 🥺 and thank you for reading my works!! ueueue I hope you enjoy this one <3 also happy holidays since im posting on xmas lol I still kept with gender neutral and Prefect (hope thats okay). I went with a more tech-y route since I think it would be hard to snap pictures of him with an actual camera and have a physical photo album?? Recluses dont like getting pictures taken-
~
title: If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what about a photo album?
summary: Idia stumbles upon your not-so-secret album and he's at a loss for words. It means a lot (to you and him).
ship: Idia x gn!reader
word count: 1,788
Read on AO3
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"I'll be back in a second. I just want to check on Grim," and make sure he hasn't gotten into the secret stash of tuna, you mentally add. You would have said it aloud, but you're fully aware that Idia would take his side over yours if it meant he could get on the monster's good side. Sometimes you wondered if he adored the cat more than you, jokingly of course. You know the truth.
You slide away from Idia's side and hop off your bed, gracefully landing on your feet. Before you take a step forward you turn back to chuck your phone onto the bed where you had been sitting.
"Can you do my dailies while I'm gone?"
"Do you even need to ask?" His free hand is already reaching for your phone. He unlocks it without even having to look at the keypad, eyes focused on his own phone. "You'll owe me for it though," he says with a grin, flashing his sharp teeth, challenging you. You chuckle and accept.
"If you pull me an SSR I'll do whatever you want," you say with a wink.
You twirl and begin your journey to find your other half, but not before catching a glimpse of Idia's falling confidence. His radiant smile fell only to have his lips in a thin line as his cheeks turned pink. You wish you could have gotten a picture of him then.
Idia shakes his head once you're gone and taps your phone before it locks itself. His heart had picked up and now he had to steady it so he could focus on the mission you gave him. The first half is easy. Dailies don't take long and he even gets you some extra crafting material for your characters. It's the other half that he ponders about.
Sure, he could pull an SSR for you and surprise you. He doesn't mind putting funds into your account. It's just he'd rather have you here with him when he does the pulls. He can show off his magic touch and get you on the first ten! Then you'd really have to do anything for him! Plus, he gets to see you get hyped when he pulls your favorite.
"It'll be worth the wait," he mutters and adds enough funds for an extra ten pull. "But I should get a reward for fulfilling the first half, right? Getting a delayed reward isn't how games work."
Idia grins as he glances at the door. When there's no sign that you're on the other side, he focuses on your phone, his grin widening like a mad scientist.
"I'm sure they wouldn't mind me getting some pics of Grimmy."
He leaves your game and slides into your photo album. He's already chuckling at this sneaky victory prize. Grim only accepts you taking pictures of him and refuses to have them sent to Idia. Of course, you would still send the occasional picture to him against the monster's wishes. Sometimes you would use the excuse that the picture had both of you in it. (And boy were those pictures the ones Idia loved the most). Regardless, he knows your phone is a treasure trove filled with pictures of Grim and he's going to raid it.
But something else stops him completely.
As he goes to the albums the first one set up causes him to freeze. One labeled "Idia's rare smiles 💙". Seeing the title and the previewed pictures cause his cheeks to burn. His hair follows, acting as if it had just been ignited with his tips turning pink.
"Wh-Wh-Wh?!"
Your phone nearly slides out of his hands and part of him considered chucking it at the wall in disbelief. Thankfully, he is far too stunned to follow through on that. Instead, his grip strengthens as he stares at the album.
He can't believe that you keep a separate album that's just pictures of him. Specific pictures of him to be exact. And so many?! Okay, maybe having eighteen isn't that much, but it is a lot to him! Did he really smile that often? And how the hell did you even manage to snap that many of him? Were you improving your stealth stats without him knowing?
A shaky finger accidentally taps on the album, causing it to open up. And...he's surprised.
There are pictures of him genuinely happy. Some of them he can't quite remember and it doesn't help that a good chunk of them were side profiles. Those might have been from game nights when he was really immersed in the challenge. But those that captured his whole face, his cheery smile, toothy or not, content and accomplished, he remembers those. He'd always get embarrassed right after those were taken.
"Do I...really look like that...?" He mutters to himself. He doesn't think he's good-looking despite what you tell him. But even he has to admit that in some of these pictures, his smile is...kinda nice. Still weird for a shut-in to smile so brightly, he thinks. It's very weird. He isn't sure his heart can take this!
"I'm back! Sorry, I took a bit longer than I thought. Grim got stuck- are you okay?" You ask, cutting yourself off as you see the color of your boyfriend's hair. It was an odd mix of blue and pink, with the latter color beginning to overtake his usual hue. Normally the change would only affect the tips, not the rest of his hair, so it's a surprise to see him like this.
Idia fumbles for his words. He jumps as you catch him red-handed and loosens his grip on your phone. It slips out of his grasp, falling from his lap and onto your bed. With his hands free, he now takes this chance to cover his face.
You're left with more questions than answers. Nothing comes to mind as to what would leave Idia like this. It's only when you surprise him with a chaste kiss on the cheek does he ever flare up and you hadn't been here to do that. So, you step forward to see what had caused this.
Your special photo album.
You blink and have to hold back a laugh. This is what made him react like that?
"Why..." Idia breathes, managing to find his voice now. "D-Do you have something like that?" He almost sounds terrified, especially with the fact that he's hiding behind his hands, but you know better. The shock and surprise that someone would care to save these rare and beautiful pictures of him is only something you would do.
The laughter bubbling up inside of you evaporates and you wear a soft smile. Gently, you pick up your phone and slide back to your position beside him. He stays in place, slowly pulling his hands down, though they cover his lips. Those glowing yellow eyes focus on you, not even daring to look at your phone as you absentmindedly scroll up and down the album.
"It's normal to have something like this, right?" You ask, though don't expect an answer. "Besides, it's nice to wake up to you."
You pause and look at him. Your answer only seems to make his cheeks turn a deeper shade of pink. They might as well be red at this point. Despite the silence, you know he's asking you to continue, explaining yourself for your horrendously sweet actions.
Oh, this may be a little embarrassing for you.
You clear your throat and gaze back to the album.
"It...does kinda suck being isekai'd into another world with no skills," you say half-heartedly. "I don't have to tell you how scary this world is. Even if I've been here for so long it's...not easy. I'm an outsider, a weirdo, a...magicless problem." You bite your tongue, refusing to continue on that. "But knowing I have someone who doesn't mind all that, who doesn't care that I'm not from here and loves me despite everything...it makes me happy. I know I'm not alone anymore, yeah, I have my friends, but you? It's different with you. I can wake up, see your smile, and know that it's real. That I can make you smile like that or just see it later. Knowing you’re here, in this world, waiting for me...it helps me get out of bed, you know?"
You didn't mean to go so deep even as you held back. Honestly, you hated having to hint at your loneliness and negativity. Not just because you're certain Idia preferred avoiding this type of thing, but it was just hard to talk about. You'd always be a foreigner, an alien in this world, and you just wanted to have something- someone that you could take comfort in. It was easier to pretend that you weren't from another world sometimes and Idia helped make you feel like you belonged.
A trembling hand comes into your field of vision. It snaps you out of your thoughts. Slowly, you reach out to meet with him. You give it a squeeze and look to meet his gaze. But you weren't expecting to see tears at the corners of his eyes.
"I-Idia?!"
"I'm that important to you?" He asks, quietly.
"You are," you breathe out, relieved. "You make me really happy. More than you know."
"You make me happy too..." He mumbles. He tries to relax, but how can he when his heart is ablaze? His hair sways, erratically, to match his heartbeat. Not that you would know, Sevens, he hopes you can't hear it. "S-Sorry, I can't always be with you, physically...but if you ever w-want reassurance...You're like super important to me. W-We can be weirdos together."
He tries, he really does. Words are already difficult in normie conversations and this just ups the difficulty to nightmare.
Nevertheless, you smile. For a moment, you think your eyes might match his, teary. Sometimes you consider yourself lucky. Not just for meeting Idia, but for being with him too. You found a kindred soul in more than one way. And you're so grateful that he loves you. He's become your safe place in this hell.
You lean your head against his shoulder. Idia flinches but relaxes shortly after. You feel him squeeze your hand.
"You can go back to your game, you know," you say in a quiet whisper. It didn't feel right to speak loudly, not yet.
"I-I'm okay...I don't mind staying like this for a bit..." He breathes, matching your quiet tone. "And I can play with one hand anyway," he adds offhandedly.
You chuckle and don't doubt him. Still, you stay like this, enjoying each other's comfortable silence.
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I think that if the Book of Life DOES work the way they claim it does, Aziraphale isn't the one who's going to be in danger. It's absolutely going to be Crowley. Heaven wants humanity to come together in the Kingdom of God, which is why we need the Second Coming- to restore it. Aziraphale wants to stop the Second Coming and save humanity. But the only reason humans LEFT the Kingdom of God in the first place is because of the serpent tempting Eve. That's what Jesus is here to fix. If Crowley doesn't exist, then there's no need for a Second Coming or the end of humanity at all. Aziraphale can stay with Heaven, avert the Apocalypse, and prevent the end of humankind. Make it so that humans NEVER knew death or suffering. Because it's Crowley's fault they learned about those things, right? He just has to allow Heaven to get rid of Crowley. Sounds like an ultimatum the Metatron would give to force Aziraphale's compliance.
hi anon!!!✨ this is literally the only way in which i think the BOL being exactly what s2 describes it to be, could possibly work narratively - you've summed it up beautifully... but then i still am left wondering why they didn't just... use it? like, why not use it after the fall of humanity? why not use it after the nopocalypse? why not just... use it now?
cue some ramblings that you never asked for but im the captain of this good ship so im gonna put them (but seriously if you don't want to read, skip to the end - i do end up yammering a bit about stuff youve probably already seen on my blog, anon!*):
if the BOL does erase existence, why not even use it during the fall itself? i think we're relatively certain that god is AWOL, and probably has been, for the most part, since the fall (i think that her encounter with aziraphale after adam and eve left eden was, very much, an anomaly). now, it could be because of the great plan, sure - certain events have to happen for heaven and earth to be fully realised as One... at which point, would they dare go so far as to eradicate other key points of the great plan in order to do so?
it's all a little paradoxical. but back to (somewhat) basics, as i personally see them: i do think that the ineffable plan is going to come down to free will, and that if we track this through the story, it all rather seems to be cause-and-effect, that perhaps the two depend on each other symbiotically:
creation of angels, then the universe - the great plan
the rebellion, the fall, and creation of demons/hell - the ineffable plan/free will
the beginning, with adam and eve in the garden - the great plan
tempting of eve to the apple, knowing the difference between good and evil - the ineffable plan/free will
exile of adam and eve from the garden, the fall of humanity - the great plan
aziraphale gives adam the flaming sword - the ineffable plan/free will
the bet with satan concerning job - the great plan
crowley and aziraphale lie to protect them - the ineffable plan/free will
jesus is born, and spreads the teachings of god - the great plan
jesus dies for the sins of humanity - i think, possibly, the ineffable plan/free will
antichrist is born, and is to precipitate the apocalypse - the great plan
the antichrist gets mixed up, and the chain of events leading to the apocalypse being diverted - the ineffable plan/free will
the second coming, heralding the last judgement - the great plan
firstly, the whole business with gabriel in s2 - the ineffable plan/free will
and secondly, let's face it, s3 is going to have a happy ending whatever happens (or else, gaiman 💀) and id place money that it will be because of - the ineffable plan/free will.
so this is where i think 'erasing existence', whilst in part/after a certain fashion may be true, i don't think it's the whole truth. there are so many points where heaven could have wielded it to put the great plan back on track... but they don't, because all of the events lead to the second coming - which is the goal, right? "the final victory of heaven on earth", as michael puts it.
and the thing is, aziraphale and crowley are so intrinsically wrapped up in the ineffable plan, the plan that seems to specifically counter and trigger next phases of the great plan, that i think realistically erasing either of them would derail it completely. this in turns also makes me think that the great plan never came from god - but has come from the metatron instead. previously, metatron possibly hasn't understood why his plans towards final victory over hell, and the creation of a true paradise, keep being thwarted: not until s2, perhaps even s1, when he cottons on that it's because of our two incompetent, eldritch renegades, stationed on earth and who have loved it a bit too much.
so each time it's thwarted, he comes up with a new stage of the plan to keep it on track, to realise the Goal. but if he erased either of them, it'd fuck up the whole thing, right? presumably, it would take them all right back to the start, right back to eden, because all the events that followed could never have happened without them? it could even take us right back to the fall, if we accept that AWCW was fairly instrumental in the fall itself? without him, the fall might not have happened?
this is why i don't think 'existence' in the context of the BOL means literal existence - i think it refers more to what was going to happen to gabriel; that it's to do with memory. if you can't remember who you were, did you ever truly exist?
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the way the metatron separates and localises the concept of gabriel being 'Gabriel', and the use of the word 'erased' both suggest to me that this has something to do with the BOL. gabriel is obviously one step ahead, puts his 'Gabriel' into the fly, and saraqael cannot find him on the system to erase his memory. this could be because gabriel has already left heaven, but i think it's because of putting the memory into the fly - ie. gabriel is no longer in the BOL.
i do think that BOL is going to play a part in s3 because, well, obviously - but i wouldnt even be surprised if it were all a bit a red herring where the threat of the second coming is concerned. alternatively, it is threatened but they work out that it might have used - at the very least - on crowley during his fall:
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im still in two minds as to whether, in a pre-fall context, erasure from the BOL = falling itself... i think it could be, and ive previously said so, but im now in two minds; would this mean that all of the fallen were erased from it? lost their angelic memories? well, that can't be the case in basic principle - furfur remembers from before the fall, as does beelzebub - but could it be that demons are getting their memories back? and crowley still has some missing, but is steadily clawing them back together? idk, it's feasible, but a little messy.
and nowadays, well heaven doesn't want to lose its angels to hell, right? especially ones that are powerful or may well have been - so instead their memory is erased, and they are simply demoted. we know this from gabriel to have been his fate... and it looks more and more like it might have happened to muriel.
*but let's go back again to thinking about the BOL being as it says on the tin, now that ive plugged my own ridiculous theory-
ultimately, i don't think it's a threat that would feasibly work on aziraphale (to erase crowley completely from existence); aziraphale likes humanity the way it is, and has learnt important lessons from being witness to their suffering... and even more so, is so deeply entwined with crowley emotionally and - dare i say - spiritually, that i don't think it's a threat that would ever land. if anything, i think it would be a threat used against crowley; choose between yourself or aziraphale being erased, because that is ultimately a choice where crowley would only ever choose to sacrifice himself.
i do truly love the idea angst-wise, but again i do wonder how it could work narratively without becoming so overly complicated... maybe it does mean that they go back to the very beginning, perhaps to the very pre-fall scene where they first meet, and aziraphale realises that something is off... there should be stars here, exploding into being, and a pretty angel giggling at them. and maybe he does force himself to remember what alternatively happened, but doesn't know AWCW's name. instead, he writes 'crowley', because that's who crowley actually is, not the angel he once was, and this saves him, brings him back?✨
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feuerspirit · 10 months
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Brocedes + 47 (kisses out of spite)
Im so sorryyyyyyyyy. I hope you're still here, anon, and you'll see this answer, I know I've been writing it for too long, but I had a kinda creative block🙏🏼 beginning - translation of the poem "old friend"
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I dream of the old friend who has become the enemy, but I dream not of the enemy, - of the friend. I'm dreaming of the old friend, like the first love that is forever it is already irrevocable. We were taking a risk, We bet on the fight, and now we are enemies — two former brothers.
Nico was angry. He knew that he no longer had the right to claim Lewis, he had lost him somewhere on the way to victory, lost bit by bit, like sand through trembling fingers, every bit of tenderness between them. And Lewis didn't take any steps towards him.
He still remembered the whispers between the slowly cooling sheets, the promises to belong to each other forever, even if he himself had once escaped from what had become of their relationship.
Nico was young. Too hasty. Desperate enough.
And infinitely greedy for the sight of his own name, lined with gold.
Nico was young. But even then, he knew Lewis was no better.
They exchanged years side by side with each other, seemingly bound by fate itself even when one of them was so obviously trying to break this connection. Nico did not want to humiliate himself in front of him, did not want to seek meetings with him intentionally, and yet even after more than four years of silence, he could not contain his admiration for his former best friend now that envy and personal ambitions were no longer an obstacle for him.
He achieved his own dream. He could only hope that Lewis would make his own.
Nico didn't immediately notice that something had changed between them - he relaxed after the end of his career, and Lewis had learned so well how to hide himself in front of people. They talked for the first time in Barcelona, as if there was a chance for redemption for both of them, and then again and again, until Lewis suddenly finds himself on the podium, and Nico, with a wet palm tightly gripping the microphone, interviews him and cannot believe his trembling voice.
He reviewed the interview after that, maybe just because he was too weak to admit even to himself how much he lacked normal interaction with Lewis. Nico only saw because he knew where to look. Because he has already seen it hundreds of times, even if his skills have worn out over the years of oblivion. Nico saw his smile, as if intended for fans, but with those little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and wrinkles on his cheeks. Could hear the excitement in his voice. Saw the glow of his eyes when Nico first believed, catching his gaze: his best friend was still there. There was still hope for them.
And yet now Nico was angry. He left the paddock voluntarily, finished his career and hung up his gloves, but that didn't mean that he suddenly became blind. Nico saw the way Valtteri looked at Lewis, as if he had entrusted his own heart to him in a warm friendly embrace. He saw Max's gaze: angry and greedy at the same time, inflamed, heated, as if Lewis was the most coveted prey, a sworn enemy that he needed to defeat at all costs. He recognized this with enthusiastic adoration in the eyes of Pierre and Esteban – as people look when they first come into contact with the power of someone else's talent.
They all looked at Lewis as if they had a right to him, and Nico still remembered the days when he looked at him like that. He wasn't acting rationally, he knew that, but maybe it was that playful knowing look Lewis gave him as he passed by when he snorted too dismissively at Jensen's caustic joke.
Nico found him by accident, getting lost in randomly placed trailers and fences, between free practices, resting in the space between Mercedes and Redbull motorhomes, while Roscoe happily chewed his frisbee at his feet. Lewis raised an eyebrow defiantly when he saw how Nico froze, stopping in a narrow aisle, and barely smiled at the corners of his lips, as if asking what he was going to do now?
Nico crossed the small green clearing separating them in three steps.
He didn't act rationally.
He knew it.
And yet, this did not prevent him from bending down and quickly kissing him on his moist soft lips, without feeling an ounce of resistance in his body.
Nico appeared in the commentary position for the second practice with a satisfied grin. Considering that he had definitely seen the curly dark top of Daniel's head flashing between the trailers, clearly in a hurry to escape from the scene of the crime, he was sure that gossip would spread like wildfire around the paddock very soon.
Nico knew that he no longer had the right to claim Lewis. But he was determined to win it back.
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hanniejji · 2 years
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how to pierce your ears at home 101
[ shikanoin heizou x s/o ]
summary: you should've known better to give this man a set of earrings as a birthday gift without a piercing appointment itself.
notes: i got my ears pierced like this when i was younger and my aunt did it for me but fuck did i got scared when my friend had me pierce their own ears by myself :'> also happy birthday you lil guy, hope you guys get the butter joke lmao im so funny aha | m.list
words: 1292 | warnings: "boo" is used for s/o, descriptive steps of how to pierce your ears at home but not including the needle through the earlobe part, a lil speck of blood but it's safe i swear, a lil suggestive at the end depending on how you take it???
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"this is stupid."
"yet here we are," heizou pointed out, looking at you with a smug smile through the mirror.
how in the world did you find yourself in this situation? here you are, the two of you are crammed into heizou's dorm bathroom.
well, a certain little minx had, for some reason, convinced you to accompany him when he's going to get his ears pierced. and by accompany, he meant for you to pierce his ears.
by yourself.
he had dragged his swivel chair into the relatively small space, scooting as close as possible to the sink with a lighter, two packs of ice on the counter and a very intimidating long needle right next to it. on the other side is a bottle of disinfectant, cotton balls, a clean cork and pair of earrings that you had given him for his birthday.
honestly, if you had known that gifting him his first set of earrings would result in him asking you to pierce his ears yourself and not in a parlor, then you would've included a scheduled appointment with the earrings itself. expensive, but it's worth avoiding this scenario.
you haven't even done anything to start and yet your fingers are already shaking.
"this is unhygienic and highly dangerous."
"oh come on," he leans his head back to look at you, lips pulled into a pout. "what could go wrong? you're just going to pierce my ears, that's all~."
"oh, a lot can go wrong," exasperated, you flicked the tip of his ear—you rolled your eyes when he whined. so dramatic, your finger barely touched his ear.
"first of all, i am not trained to pierce shit."
"—did you just call my ear 'shit'?"
"second, like i said, i am not a professional and could be doing this all wrong. heck, i might scare myself and mess shit up."
"—you mean, mess my ears up."
"third and lastly, you can get an infection if i mess shit up and things can go way worse after that," you put an emphasis on the word 'shit' out of pettiness.
"hey, hey, hey," a hand comes up to your cheek, lightly pinching the apple of your cheek before caressing it with his thumb. "it'll be fine, if it goes wrong then the hospital is one ride away—"
"that doesn't make me feel better."
"ehehe," he sheepishly grins, looking more boyish below you from your peripheral vision. "i trust you, boo."
"i still don't feel better."
"don't worry, i'll talk you through it, mkay? i watched kazuha do the same thing to his own ears, so we're not completely clueless y'know."
you scoffed, tugging his earlobe lightly, "then maybe you should've asked him to pierce your ears if he knows how to."
"aww come on," pouting, he takes your hand and places it on his puffed cheek. "i wanted my honey butter sugar boo to do it for me~."
"never call me that name again. ever."
"i won't if you pierce my ears, deal?"
"you're insufferable and a menace."
"i'm going to take that as a yes, and yes, i am your insufferable menace."
the victorious grin on his stupidly attractive face is practically telling you that you're not escaping this predicament or winning any defensive argument. one way or another, he's going to get his way, so there's really no point in trying to avoid the inevitable.
"i'm sorry but also not sorry if i mess this up."
"don't worry, boo, i'll still love you."
shaking off the warm feeling on your cheeks, you grab ice packs from the counter and press both of it around his earlobe, his hands coming up to keep them there while you sort through everything. heizou had disinfected everything he laid out on the counter, even going as far as to sanitizing the whole sink counter itself when you voiced your concerns earlier.
"so, uh, i just… light the needle up?"
"uh huh, kazuha said it'll be easier to get the needle through if you hold it above the flame for a bit."
you can feel your spine tingle with cold sweat at the mental image. you're not exactly sure if you should be glad that heizou isn't completely doing this on his own, but at the same time, you think you'll be a little traumatized after this.
grabbing the lighter with shaking hands, you held the tip of the needle just above the flame, looking back to see heizou rubbing alcohol around his earlobe.
"alright, i'm ready as i'll ever be!"
"i'm not," you grumbled, ignoring the way he chuckled.
the sooner you get this done, the sooner you can get out and never do this again.
so with a deep breath, you shut the lighter and placed the cork right behind his earlobe, inching the needle closer.
if you're lucky enough, maybe you won't pass out in the process.
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fortunately, you did not pass out.
although you did feel a little light headed after piercing the second ear and when you saw a little bit of blood, heizou had been calm enough to reassure you through it.
he's damn glad you were too busy staring at his ears to notice his tightly shut eyes and the small tremble of his lips when he felt the needle.
but alas! after disinfecting his earlobe for the nth time—he swore you're more scared than he was for any potential infection, which is also understandable—you finally finished the whole process and the set of earrings are now in place.
"never ask me to do this again, ever."
"hmm, i don't know about that," he grins, laughing when you swat his hand away before he could even touch his ears.
"don't, you'll hurt yourself. worse, you'll get it infected yourself," you chided.
"okay okay, geez," he snickered.
rolling your eyes, you turn to the counter and start cleaning the sink, throwing away the cotton balls you've used and setting everything aside. you only heard him rolling his chair away a little before feeling his hands tug at your waist backwards.
"i—hey!"
he, not so gently, pulled you on his lap, hugging your waist and hooking his chin on your shoulder.
"thank you for doing this for me baby," his voice is right next to your ear, whispering in a quiet and sultry voice, his arms tightening around your waist. you felt his cold lips touch your neck, little kisses traveling to your jaw and up to your undeniably warm cheeks. you can feel his smile against your skin when he feels the warmth through his lips.
"you little shit."
you felt the low chuckle he made against your back, sending your soul up above the highest point of celestia with how your skin tingled with goosebumps. slightly, you shuffled on his lap to cover up your embarrassment.
"couldn't have done this without you boo~."
"i'm pretty sure you can."
"but you won't let me, would you?" you can hear the pout on his face but you know him better, he's having fun teasing you like this. "if you weren't here to help, i might have done the whole process incorrectly."
"can we please at least get out of your small bathroom? it's a little stuffy here."
you swiftly inserted, blaming the cramped room for the sudden rise in temperature.
"anything for my boo~," chiming whispers in your ear, he places one last kiss right behind your ears, humming softly but refusing to let go of your waist. "hmm, on second thought, we can stay here for a little longer. want to keep you close for a few more minutes." (read: hours)
you're pretty sure you won't be alive to see the light outside his bathroom after he has his fun.
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plounce · 1 year
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continuing to play stormblood. i have really enjoyed running around the azim steppe and doing all the people’s errands, chatting with them and learning about them, meeting the lesbian, and im also really in love with traditional mongolian fashion now. however. um. im sure other people have spoken about this. but it really is shocking how much this is basically a racist fantasy novel trope. hien is the Chosen Prince who goes to another country, adopts himself into a Downtrodden And Meek Clan, and then leads that clan to victory against the Violent Mean Clans so he can take control of their warriors by right of THEIR traditions and take them to his homeland to further his own political ends. AND YOU HAVE TO HELP HIM DO THIS! right after the naadam when the game has you /victorypose to the mol warriors and they all go YAAAAAAAY YOURE OUR KHATUN!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!! i was just like. AUUUUUGH NOOOO. I DON’T WANT THIS
there are so many other ways to do this... even little tiny tweaks so it isn’t so outrageous. you could convince each clan using diplomacy or diplomatic duels to lend their aid to the anti-imperial cause! you could aid the mol and guard cirina as she claims the ovoo! hell, this isn’t perfect, but what if hien had spent most of his life living on the steppe instead of like... six months?
that last one ties back to one of my other major discomforts with stormblood: lyse. there’s the biggest glaringest obviousest problem of her being the only white/blonde/blue-eyed ala mhigan, but also the fact that she’s our npc viewpoint on the ala mhigan struggle... but she has very few concrete connections to ala mhigo and has never actually lived there (if i’m remembering right - yda took her to live in sharlayan at age 5?). and a lot of the time, she’s our audience surrogate for getting Explained colonial oppression by somebody else in a resistance group after she blusters about “i don’t get it!! why don’t they fight back!!!” . i’m not going to go into the politics of diaspora and liberation struggles because that is something that is 1. far out of my lane 2. very very subjective especially wrt Real Life and not Fantasy Allegory. but it’s just an deeply weird and bad-optics character (very White Savior optics) and storyline. i’m sure other people have written much more coherently and in-depth-ly about the problems with lyse, so i won’t go too much into it here.
lyse and hien are two foils to each other within the text - the Chosen One who must Return To Lead the Liberation of Their Oppressed Homeland after spending time in other nations doing other work. and what’s really strange is that their character backstories would work better if they were switched. hien as the young man who spent most of his life as a warrior of the steppe; he literally says he doesn’t remember a free doma, because he was literally a fetus when doma was conquered - what if he only has memories from childhood of doma? he lived there when he was a small child, and thus still has an emotional investment in doma, but he also has a place on the azim steppe. and lyse as a recent refugee from ala mhigo - her sister rescuing her from some kind of major peril and bringing her to sharlayan or eorzea, leading to her involvement with the scions. the ala mhigan resistance seems much more active and current at the start of stormblood than the doman liberation front: it makes sense to have a character who just came from there be paired with it, and for the relatively more quelled DLF to be trying to bring in their long-lost prince as a last-ditch effort to rally the people before a figurehead after his father was killed in their last rebellion.
obviously any story that borrows so much allegorically from real political struggles is going to have some snarls and problems upon which to think critically. especially when that story is created by a team from a country that has been an imperial and colonial aggressor (as well as been subject to imperial powers itself).
it’s most keenly deeply uncomfortable (to put it lightly) when so much of xaela culture in FFXIV is borrowed from real mongolian cultures. the naadam is a real thing, but it’s not a Glorious Battle To See Who Rules The Steppe, it’s a traditional athletic/training festival. an ovoo is a real type of shrine/altar used in mongolian folk religion. the wikipedia page is right here. the azim steppe is not painted in a wholly negative light, and as always the sidequests give you a lot of sympathy and texture to the people in the area, but the borrowing from real mongolian culture is... well: imperial japan literally tried to seize mongolian religious relics when it was occupying china! this is not a clean slate that squeenix is working on.
stormblood gives you a lot to think about, and a lot of it isn’t good. it’s a story about resisting imperialism and how to go about doing that, which is bound to get people thinking and arguing. ffxiv is certainly a more politically incisive story about imperialism than star wars and many other pieces of genre fiction, but it’s also far from the most leftist story in the world. there are other problems within the game’s politics as of stormblood: most glaringly, the “beast tribes” (i am looking forward to that improving as ive heard it does in later expansions).
i’m obviously far from the best person to talk about this subject (white american), which is why i’m giving a stream-of-consciousness mini-essay on my personal tumblr blog, rather than publishing a book/article or otherwise getting paid to speak on this, or inserting myself where i shouldn’t be. but i do think that it’s not a bad thing for anyone playing ffxiv to think about stuff like this, so i am putting on my critical thinking cap and posting about it. as one does on their personal blog.
UPDATING EDIT SECTION: went out googling for more informed takes on this and here’s an article that talks about the problems with the azim steppe storyline way more incisively than my natural rhetoric.
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the dilf poll: voter voices
the votes are in, and hakoda has emerged victorious! but i've been paying attention to a far more important measure of public opinion: the tags!
Hakoda has 19 mentions in tags, winning in this category as well. lots of #hakodasweep, which is funny bc i specifically engineered this poll to prevent sweeps. inigo montoya you keep using that word etc. but i love the energy.
#I’m sorry but Hakoda is THE dilf of the avatar world#in the whole franchise#fuck it you could include every adult man on this list and they will not beat Hakoda (@louisloulouie) #hakoda is the biggest dilf of all time#he is the sexiest man alive in the atla universe#PERIOD#I literally made a PowerPoint about this#I have CITATIONS (@themoons-ex) (i would like to see that powerpoint) #hakoda dilf supremacy (@truthsinwhispers) #mister watertribe chief himself (@sunset-diamond)
In a shocking/delightful upset, Piandao comes in a close second at 18 mentions. I'm going to give credit here to @bisexuallsokka - most of the piandao tags came from people who reblogged from her, and he went from 13% to 14% on the last day, coincidentally right after she reblogged the poll for a second time. he was my pick, so i very much appreciate your efforts and enthusiasm.
#where are all the people who botted the twitter poll we need you now 😩😩😩#piandao stay with me stay with me (@bisexuallsokka) #come on guys piandao could get it (@fearthevest) #you fucks need to go all in on Piandao right the fuck now#sorry… got a little heated there#but Piandao… my beloved (@stalksships) #piandao is so fucking hot (@kieran-rules-zara-drools)
Iroh has 6 mentions, and since he was in second - and very close at points - there were some #irohsweep tags. again i refer to inigo montoya.
#iroh could get it (@capitola) #okie i know its been yearrrs since i watched atla but who this other guy and why is he beating Iroh#oh.... i still vote Iroh but akxhsj;; apologies sir (@cozy-fish-crow) (these made me laugh thank you for sharing)
Bato has 4 mentions, 2 of which are about how hard it is to choose between him, Hakoda, and Piandao. fitting, considering that they're all Sokka's dads. also, he and Hakoda combined got exactly 50% of the vote. bakoda rights!
#BATO IS BEING SLEPT ON!!!!!!! (@matthew-mcjohncenahey) #bato my beloved (@unliikelylovers)
Ozai has 3 mentions, 2 of which are about how he shouldn't get votes. he is the only contestant to receive negative feedback, as he deserves.
#not ozai getting votes while arnook and tyro flounder in obscurity (@minimum-anenome) #who the fuck is voting ozai#i'm concerned about you (@forestberryteaplease)
(two more mentions have come in since the poll closed, but they don't count. you had your chance!)
Arnook and Tyro each have 2 mentions, all relating to them not getting votes.
#arnook having zero votes is crazy im sorry baby (@bisexuallsokka) #lmao RIP tyro tho (@lizardlicks)
The Mechanist managed to get 1% on the poll itself, but has no mentions in the tags. I suspect it's because he wasn't losing hard enough to merit comment (like Arnook and Tyro), but wasn't popular enough to have dedicated fans cheering for victory.
Bonus:
#d..does jee not appear more than once#I thought.. he did#nauuurrrrr jeeeeeee 😭 u were in my heart first but alas ill pick..#piandao why not (@gloomybirdie)
Jee is on the borderline, in the sense that I think people often write him as a father figure for Zuko in fics. It's a pretty logical extrapolation from him learning Zuko's backstory in canon, but it's not actually canon so I don't think he'd qualify. I'm also not sure he meets the two-episode criteria - he was probably in the background but I only really remember him in "The Storm".
I also definitely remember someone mentioning Chit Sang but they seem to have deleted their tag. Was it because I posted about how not all older men count? I meant it to be kind of jokingly serious, Committing To The Bit, but that's hard to convey online. I'm not actually offended, and lord knows I have no room to judge when it comes to liking minor characters. Plus Chit Sang probably DID co-parent teo & haru & the duke when he and hakoda escaped so it's also a borderline case.
thank you all for voting and sharing your opinions! this has been fun :)
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8uny · 7 months
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posting something from my private notes here for fun
let me talk about something mildly interesting for once. you know what they say, about escape room design?
the best customer expierence in an escape room, is to get out right when it's down to the wire. it's disappointing if you don't get out in time. it's also disappointing if you get out with too much time left. the sweet spot, the ideal expierence, exists in that fine line of 'difficult victory', the last second. and designing a room, you try and build these puzzles to achieve that spot
theres other things that go into it, like "delivering what you requested, and then more" (which ive talked about it terms of storytelling before) via things like puzzles or set pieces being multipurpose (whether used in multiple puzzles, has a puzzle element and a story element, is a set of something you could assume is just decoration but has practical purposes) or the room itself (secret extra hidden rooms, or in general the space revealing 'more' as you go) and the puzzles themselves, when they feel diagetic to a story and fair
but since you know im on that kick, i was thinking of this philosphy in regards to murder mysteries
a story that asks to be solved is not good if the solution is too easy or if the solution isnt even possible to get until the very end, or doesnt resolve in a way that makes sense
and ive been thinking a lot recently, about what makes a mystery satisfying. what makes it feel fair. ive also been thinking about this in regards to umineko (am on ep6), because while it's easy to come with plausible explanations for the murders, they aren't "satisfying" enough because just because something is logically sound and plausible doesn't mean it feels like it makes sense for a character to do something so stupid and crazy
ive also been thinking of Death On The Nile and how i felt while reading it, how i guessed my culprit and how the events of the story are paced and characters presented so even though i did guess right pretty early, i was still confused and on the edge for most of the book
anyways, my thoughts on what makes a puzzle/mystery/whatever feel fair:
-things cant just happen because 'id be exciting to read a mystery about it', everything has to feel right. everyone's course of action has to be what they, in character, would immediately decide to do first choice. if something feels like 'a stretch' it will not feel satisfying
that's the bridge between "it's plausible it could have happened this way" and "I know this happened, because it is in line with what that character would have done."
this is hard for me to put into words, but it's like the same reason why miscommunication plots are a pain to watch, or if something has to happen to make the story more dramatic, even if its not really what the character would do doesn't sit right. The mystery exists in service of the characters, not of the author.
it can be a "stretch" with how information is acquired, and im willing to even have a little give on things like physics, but its real unsatisfying when some crazy batshit thing happens and you ask the killer "WHY?!?!?" and even if the "how" was clever and fun, if they dont really have a good reason for it beyond the story thought it would be fun it feels a bit unfulfilling.
-you cant lie about the question. a good mystery doesn't hide.
i think this was the most frustrating thing about after party season 1 for me, and some other mysteries. when the camera and the story call to attention some big mystery or inconsistency or unsolved bit of information asking for you to pay attention and care about and invest thought and energy into it and……… it doesn't matter.
and this is where agatha christie and umineko make me very happy. like death of the nile will constantly bring up the key inconsistent impossibility in the evidence and say this is important. this one thing doesn't make sense right now, but if we know the killer, it will. hercule will find a clue and repeat that it's important and we just don't understand it yet, so we have the chance to think about why. and umineko is ALL about that. umineko smushes your face in its biggest questions it wants you to focus on and solve and begs with you to try. the afterparty s1 will spend lots of time being like "whooooo shot this mysterriiousss arrow at someone?!? whyyyy was there a WIG found near the body?!?!" and then go lol it didnt mean anything and could be completely removed and not effect the mystery.
A good mystery is confident in itself, and doesn't need to hide and or try to be unnoticed because its afraid its too easy, because its afraid if you pay attention it'll be solved. it's a challenge, it gives you the CHANCE to think and try to answer before presenting the solution. and more than that, its real shitty to dedicate time to answering questions that dont matter.
thats not saying you cant have red herrings but the core of a mystery is being rewarded for investing energy into something, getting that "payoff" that "ahhhhh i see!" and if you have something REALLY COOL you should want people to invest energy into it!! you should hold it up and be like "you better care about this, because when it all makes sense, itll feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOL!" and why its painful when you hold up things as distraction, and people care about the wrong thing, then feel kind of bleghh when they didnt get a so cool because it turns out the story didnt give a shit in the end either
oh god im typing a lot and i think ive said some of this stuff before but its been circling my head for months now and its nice to try and get it all in one go
but i've been trying to analyze how mysteries make me feel while im reading them. what choices make me think what ways, and what feels satisfying and clever and what feels frustrating and pointless
i could also point to knox's decalouge but i feel like thats common sense
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lil-scout-precure · 6 months
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Junior Eurovision 2023 detailed opinions before the show. Part 1
Well, as I told you in my previous post where I made my tier-ranking for this year's Junior Eurovision, I will now make a new explanation about my opinion of each song by tier! As my second live-watch JESC, I'm very hyped to see how this year goes since it's more of a ballad edition, I got more than one winner, and well the live decides it all!
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Let's start from the lowest to the highest tier!
Tier 5: "I heard better ones in previous years"
🇮🇹 Melissa and Ranya "Un Mondo Giusto"
First of all, I will clarify I don't have any beef with this or other song in low places. I'm more open in JESC, I support the kiddos, and also, the songs are at least decent compared to some songs of the adult edition I really hate or just bore me. But since there are a lot of entries I like from this year, the first one really didn't catch me too much compared to others.
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For being their first song in JESC, Melissa and Ranya sing so good in a duo. The raspy voice of Melissa caught me off-guard with the soft singing of Ranya. And somehow, the combination goes well for the song, apart of the main melody and the Italian talent. But for being a ballad between others this year, it doesn't surprise me too much. Like Albania last year with "Pakez Diell". And I regret right now saying Chanel Dilecta's "Bla Bla Bla" was the downgrade of the downgrades after Elisabetta Lizza's "Specchio" in 2021; at least Chanel's song would have been more than welcome in the train of ballads of this year.
I really hope the live version in Nice boosts them a lot. Because they have potential nevertheless. They are nice girls! :D
🇬🇪 Anastasia and Ranina (still Oto and Nikoloz for me) "Over the Sky"
I had better hopes for the Georgian trio this year. Like, it was a surprise for me when GPB decided to call two Ranina finalists, Oto Bazerashvili and Nikoloz Kharati, to join Anastasia Vasadze (Ranina 2023 winner and direct representant of Georgia in JESC 2023) for this edition. And well, a trio already won the Junior contest in 2008 and Ranina always delivers potential winners, so surely they would have a song to get their fourth victory, right?
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First with the good things, the song itself is good. Calm and more serene, but good. And the trio really works here, even the boys have their moment to shine! (considering they decided to make Anastasia the main singer and call the male duo "Ranina", something that still bugs me). The music has good potential. And the lyrics inspire me, even the "Ranina, hey!" chant. But with the downsides, not the best song I expected for them after hearing a masterpiece like Mariam Bigvava's "I Believe" last year (and other songs from Georgia in previous editions). Not bad, but softer in vibes than 2022.
Hearing the rumours of two expert ballet dancers joining them for the live version, I think a good staging can deliver this song to a well-placed position still (and if possible, maybe win?). Just to wait.
Tier 4: "Unlikely but potential Top 5/Winners(?)"
🇦🇱 Viola Gjyzeli "Bota Ime"
To think I had this one at the bottom of my list before the revamp. As someone who listened (at work) the Junior Fest 2023, I thought "no way, they gonna choose another Pakez Diell again" due to most songs (and the contest itself) being soft; and "Bota Ime" 's first version didn't surprise me when it won. But when I thought it would be in the lowest place for the list, the revamped version came in the YT channel of JESC and my gosh, what a glow up!
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It's still not, as a popular TV phrase in Mexico says, "Que bruto, pero que temazo!" ("What a bop!"). But the studio version gave the song the strength it needed a lot. Viola's voice sounds so whimsical and with class. The entry is way less plain than Pakez Diell at least. And as for the lyrics (the same one that wrote Duje made this? WOAH), if the studio video made them have sense, I wonder how will the live deliver that "own fairyland" feeling I appreciate of the song.
I really hope they keep the vibes and world-setting for the live version. To see them ruining it would be devastating for this song.
🇬🇧 Stand Uniqu3 "Back To Life"
After Freya Skye's SLAY (even if sick bc of cold night ceremony, darn you, EBU) in Yerevan with "Lose My Head", I knew United Kingdom wouldn't play easy. Sure, Mae Muller's "I Wrote A Song" placed at the last places in Liverpool (something I won't forgive alongside LOTL's unfair last place and "Solo" at the grand final >:U), but in JESC they would still give fiery competition! And we have "Back To Life"
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A group in Junior Eurovision is always welcome in my list. And Maisie, Yazmin and Hayla (the girls) really got some good vocals and energy for their song! Sure, not too great compared to Freya's entry and queen vibes, but the song itself is awesome (and necessary given the time, when a lot of ballads were revealed)! They remind me a lot of Fifth Harmony imo, maybe by vocals or the entire energy they give in the song.
If the staging and live version can upgrade their entry to a new level than it is already, maybe United Kingdom can get some justice for what they did to Mae and get a good placing!
🇫🇷 Zoé Clauzure "Cœur"
As always, I expect for the host/winning country in a Junior edition to have a good "defender entry", a song that shows the world they're not playing safe just because they won once and/or host the contest. France did it with Enzo's "Tic Tac" (even if the Discord fandom despises him fsr), Armenia with Nare's "Dance!" (and they really ALMOST WON TWICE A ROW like Poland in 2018-2019). And I had my hopes high for France (again XD) after Lissandro's win
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For being a French JESC song not written by legend (and idol for some of my mutuals) Barbara Pravi, this one takes the cake for being as French as possible (in a good way) and still be likeable for every audience! Zoe's vocals sound SO CLASSY for someone so young, and the song itself could easily be confused for an adult Eurovision entry (with some tweaks). And yeah, the entry reminds me A LOT of La Zarra's "Évidemment" (another Big 5 robbed entry this year, no wonder she gave everyone the finger and left the Green Room before the end of the votes). Not of my 100% favorites or a song I see winning JESC 2023, but I still love it.
At this point I wonder if they will pull a "Paris/France reference" in the live staging (like La Zarra did this year, queen), because the song itself is so wonderful it screams good live version!
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And that's all for this first part! Next one I will get to the personal wild card tier! See ya!
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abishekmuses · 8 days
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Neediness This is an interesting topic eh?
I think I've had a problem with this. A huge part of it is inherited.
Weridly, I think i'm not always needly (even in the past).
It's a function of my energy state and emotional state.
I'm writing about this here because I definitely want to think about this topic a lot more in the days to come.
I think Mark Manson's book does a great job of breaking down neediness and its opposite - "non neediness".
I started thinking about this today because of this post I read by Visakan.
3/5/24 Wow how timely - how portentous - I wrote about this two days ago and completely forgot. Here I am now, in the "lower realms" hehe. My heart hurts. I am overcome with grief, sorrow and self-doubt.
I acted needy yesterday I think. And in the light of this state, the whole personage of Abishek looks to be in pretty bad shape. Out of control etc. Self-criticism doesn't help.
Here's what I've learned in this period - one of the lessons anyway - this whole "parents fuck you up" thing is bullshit i think. It might be true on some level but hey they can't fucking help it dude - genetics are at play i think. These behavious patterns. These samkaras. Sub-optimal eh? They need to be optimised through the sublimating process of bringing things into awareness, and accepting them. That's as far as i've gotten.
Then of course, there is aspect of actually taking hold of the controller and playing better. I kind of got there last week. Man for a second here, let me just speak about the linkedin thing - dude as of last week, i was so dialled in - hey but that's what all the warnings were about eh? This is an endurance game man. It's just about blind belief and the inevitable optimisation that'll happen. Maybe at some stage, the optimisation won't happen automatically but we're not there yet.
God it was a telling example of neediness what happened with kamalesh yeseterday - the awareness was there - it really was - i didn't want to say it - it was straining to come out - why? - i think I like the dopamine hits - i'm so starved of that feeling of well being and fulfillemnt - that feeling of having my own respect and feeling like i'm dialled into the game and that i've victories behind me and ahead of me, that i seek any and everything that resembles a small victory. Wow this is an important lesson to learn man. This insight, if properly handled, is going to catapult us so far beyond these levels, you have no idea. This is an amazing moment. This is a moment that is pretty damn close to being a win by itself. I think it IS a win. It doesn't feel like it but it can be - if only I contend with it in the right way, optimise and keep moving forward.
I want that internet money. I fucking want it. There - I fucking said it. I want that fucking internet money. I want to do it right. I want that money but I want it playing in my own aesthetic zone. I will not sell out. I want enough that I can play - I want enough to always see life as play. i want enough to pursue my interests and not have sword hanging over my head. Ok now im thinking if the explanation i ended up with for the oversharing behaviour is actually accurate.
Look at these stuttering thoughts. A mind that works in a very particular way - this is the way my dad's mind works. He must have gone through some serious pain and trauma man - with people mocking him and not giving him respect. I feel for that man so bad right now. I have my english to fall back on. I have my fortress, as johannes puts it. I'm in a lot of pain right now with all my tools, my understandings, my experiences - this whole fucking thing is a fucking dream - a video game - I know this and it still hurts - imagine the plight of that man. Fuck dude I really want to support him and ease his pain somehow. I don't know how yet but this is me making a strong sankalpa towards that end.
These genetics have their limitations - obviously. I can transcend but it's not simply about wishing it to happen. It's not about intellectualising. It's about bringing as many aspects of this into my awareness as possible. Intuitively, i feel like taking charge of my physical appearance is going to a huge step in the right direction. I want to invest more care and attention in this direction. More than anything else, I want to bring awareness there. I remember that it tripped me up in the lighthouse with Julius and Reda as well. It's a shadow spot. A place where awareness doesn't come through in this one - I've seen others having it easy. This resonates.
Which then neatly dovetails into the youtube idea as well man. The more I record myself and persist through the lack of awareness, the pain that is brought on by me doing unaesthetic things due to said lack of awareness and so on - this will work great at getting awareness into those places. Physical exercise is a HUGE part of this that's currently in limbo - it's ok bro - this feels like a rough place to be - it's not. just chill. it's all under control. we gots this!
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ithisatanytime · 8 months
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Yung Lean x bladee - Victorious
 the last part about the female characters looking like ugly bull dykes is important because these are mostly visual mediums, i always go to cooking as an art to really highlight the duty of an artist to its audience, this haughty quasi mystical view of art being something beyond that with no need to consider your audience is a very jewish idea, the culinary arts put that retarded idea to bed right away, and even in the culinary arts where the primary concern is does it taste good? they still pay a GREAT DEAL of attention to how the food LOOKS, ever here of “plating” the presentation of the food is almost as important as how it tastes! and even though its definitely a secondary concern if a chef wants to be a respected artist he will spend a great deal of effort on the presentation of the food, how much more important is attractiveness in entertainment? from actors and actresses to singers and yes even to video game characters their is no earthly reason why you wouldnt put the most attractive people/characters center stage, and the recent batch of hollywood “stars/starlets” shows that the audience enjoyment has become secondary to jews and their racial agenda, Zendaya is only “mid” in a world where peoples expectations have been dramatically lowered, its not just that shes mixxed race, hale fucking barry is mixxed race, and gorgeous, zendaya is a fucking dog. you can dismiss this attitude all you want and mock like im just trying to jack off to video games or movies or whatever, but im just being truthful and pragmatic about what makes art effective and there is a reason that hollywood itself has lost an amazing amount of cultural relevance since even the early two thousands, and thats why i put “stars/starlets” in quotations, zendaya despite being a hollywood “celebrity” barely has the star power of a tv actress from the early two thousands and when hollywood wants to really push an agenda like the vaccines they by necessitate have to wheel out some geriatric celebrities from yesteryear to help sell their point and demonstrate some degree of cultural relevancy. “yous a fine looking brotha wont you vax that ass up!”
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theskyexists · 1 year
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Ancillary justice
Fascinating. This ship AI controlling the corpses of colonised people in service to the murderous empire creates small spaces for the slightest acts of autonomy, and it uses that autonomy to intervene - to stop a soldier from abusing a grief-stricken casualty of war, to have the slightest petty victory over those who can command her. Amazing character work. She does experience it as slavery.
I like how Seivarden is brought in as the Empire's arrogant awful shitstain nepo baby murder soldier that we can all disdain. Seems like AI mc really liked Lieutenant Awn bc she's a good man. The opposite to Seivarden.
Ah there is a distinction made between One Esk and Justice of Toren.
Ah. Funny that these creatures of empire still believe in the 'civilised' rules of that empire and corruption of those rules ( justifications) as an outlier.
Every single thing indicates that the highest person in the land has intervened: the guns, the segment dead, the girl dead anyway, the device which can block radch communications, the dismissal of Awn and the deliberate provocation, the understanding the tanmind thought they had, the cleaning up of people who knew of the understanding. But the question STILL is why.
I do very much like the trick of this narration which calls everyone she.
Oh Kay....how did strigan suddenly realise....Oh. she knows because we're going into the flashback in which Seivarden tells them. When was that
The segment was killed in order to make Awn vulnerable to murder. (No)
Awn comforting the new segment.... Hmmm. Sounds like the people that are ancillary are still alive in there..
Hmm now its saying that Esk is the singers and Justice of Toren not....
Ok the book has lost the plot now. The mc has just spent twenty years to get this damn gun. And her plan is to shoot ONE INSTANCE of the great ruler - which doesnt actually require the gun at all.
But after all, this is but one segment, and we've already discussed both memory loss and the strange baseless attachment to Seivarden multiple times...
Ah, it almost seems like the Justice of Toren was meddled with before. By a Mianaai. What do we know? The Mianaais are clones....organic. they do seem to be able to interact with their other selves - but a hint has already been dropped that this can be cut off or does not operate the same as AI. The only thing that makes sense is that Mianaai is NOT a Hive mind constant consensus with itself. Oh damn, i predicted this a few paragraphs before the text stated it.
So this is the pro-racist-classist-slavery-expansionist Mianaai faction probing Seivarden. That fall from the bridge really made her reevaluate
Ah - i hadnt thought of Mianaai recognising her as not what shes saying she is. But at least the author notes this lapse in plot logic before i can notice it. And is making a big point of it. I think we're back into pawn in larger game territory
Now they go to the opposite faction.
Mianaai really already knew it was Justice of Toren... But all of her too curious to eliminate it...why WOULD Justice have done this, if there had been an option to speak to the right Mianaai in private...
Thing is, for most of this segment the writing did not make sufficiently clear to me that the problem isnt not that there is another Mianaai (the other is dead) but that the conflict was spoken of to them before they were fragmented by device. And that memory is stored and will be sent out soon. But these memories are stored electronically and in the segments that are still there. There do seem to be more here.
Why wouldnt they make the simple expense of armouring all the Supreme leaders....
Im so touched by the good feeling the Orsians still have towards Awn...
What i dont understand is why there are so many Mianaais here. I thought it was one ruler per Palace but it works more like an AI than i thought.
The thing is - what i am most surprised by still in retrospect is that the harvest they do of thousands for ancillaries FROM annexed planets wasnt more of an issue on Ors.
Hmm. The concept of fragmented Mianaai (one fascist one utilitarian) is very interesting BUT i do not quite understand how she could have denied to herself that she's fighting herself if they share THOUGHTS. Justice of Toren shot Awn and One Var shot Awn and One Esk might never have done that, but they all had access to the same information. Every time Mianaai cut off communications greater Mianaai should have made a reconstruction of the blind spots. Having the conflict stated out loud - i dont see how it would have changed anything. All the Mianaai SHOULD have known that they were in conflict with themselves. That couldnt probably have been hidden from themselves? I guess greater Mianaai was simply balancing things? The entrance of a segmenting device - its origins and its strategic implications - it must have come from the Presger.
I liked reading the opposite side to one of my favourite stories: devotion. Breq quite unaware of what it has inspired in Seivarden. Unaware even of the fondness it feels for Seivarden...
I thought the coincidence of Seivarden's survival and involvement with the genocide plus Esk's uncertain memory might lead somewhere but it didnt... (Yet?). I guess i wasnt fully convinced somehow of Esk's commitment to as total revenge as possible as the singular reason for its suicidal plans. (i also think the narrative put too much focus on the gun's armour piercing qualities when Esk wanted it for its selfcloaking. For that matter another loose thread: why would any Mianaai that cannot trust itself go around unarmoured?? A sign of trust, pact, dare or bluff? Losing bodies IS a great inconvenience when one can be segmented). I guess i would have liked the statement on the great impact of small interventions repeated/fully realised in this decision of suicide bombing for seemingly little impact. Nor was i convinced how Esk would have made these choices from being muddled and grief stricken. I would have been more convinced if all along Esk had understood that the way to do the most damage was to bait Mianaai into exposing her full self to the truth of her internal conflict before it in fact apparently accidentally did that - and this was why it acted so obviously - instead of suddenly realising it would definitely be recognised, implying their cognitive patterns are under influence of a (third?) higher power - which was never confirmed.
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adorerdraco · 4 years
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Not My Type (Like You) ✧ Draco x Reader
Request: you should like do a one shot or even another mini series about amortentia/love potions in general. i’d soooo read that
AU SEVENTH YEAR WHERE VOLDY NEVER CAME BACK <3 f**k that mf !
italics are for flashbacks <3 i love them if you couldn’t tell 
Warnings: mean!draco, cursing, more mature themes/ideas, little bit of spice towards the end teehee but not too much bc idk how to write smut to save my life
Words: 4.5K
A/N: I saw a tiktok that kinda inspired this and i couldn’t get the idea out of my heaaaad if anyone knows which one im talking ab send it my way so i can show !!!! ALSO I LOVE THIS ONESHOT I LOVE DRACO AND I AM IN MY FEELINGS this might be my new favoriteeeee
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Draco Malfoy was insufferable.
The Prince of Slytherin was unbearable for many reasons, things you've been taking notice of since your first year at Hogwarts when you accidentally had the ”pleasure” of interacting with him when he called you stupid in a class for reciting a spell incorrectly. That day, a hostility blossomed. A hostility that ensued nothing but teasing, mocking, and criticizing that would sometimes go too far and you'd both have to be pulled away from each other by your friends’ before either of you said anything excessively harsh that had no return.
You often felt like Malfoy sought you out to bother you and only for that. You could be sitting in the Quad with friends, conversing and laughing like nothing in the world mattered, and a few minutes later you'd be hurling insults towards the blond across the courtyard after he would yell something infuriating to you with that smug smirk on his face and his goons laughing wildly beside him as if he just said the most hilarious thing they've ever heard. 
On the days you’d ignore him, not having the patience or the energy to deal with him, he would still somehow find a way to push your buttons. Little things here and there like passing you in the corridors and tugging at the ends of your hair gingerly like a child but enough to tick you off or sending you notes from across the class in the form a small fluttering bird with a lousy drawing of you usually with a message along the lines of, “Y/L/N, hopefully, this note finds itself in the nest of hair you have today xx DM.”
In all honesty, there wasn’t a day you didn’t encounter Draco and it’s been that way for seven long years. Neither of you ever gotten tired of mildly or spitefully bullying each other and neither of you ever dreamed of stopping. He was one of the few constants in your daily life, and you in his. It was like you both lived on annoying the other, and in the midst of all the chaos that you brought to one another; there was a small, teeny, tiny acquaintance - not that either of you would ever admit it. You may have noticed it the time you bet each other ten galleons for who would win in the Triwizard Tournament your fourth year and he bet on Viktor Krum while you on Cedric Diggory. (he’s very much alive i refuse to think otherwise.)
“So you’re telling me, your mother is the reason why you’re not at Durmstrang,” you scoffed. “This whole time I could have been saved four years of headaches.”
“You’re just jealous some of us have more opportunities than others,” he snarks back pompously. “Unlike you, I hardly believe you would be graceful enough to even be considered admission into Beauxbatons.”
You had gone to see the last task of the competition just like the rest of the schools, all packed tightly onto the stands and watching carefully the exit of the maze. Naturally, you had arrived with your own friend groups, but somewhere during the time of sitting there and even being a few rows behind the blond and his minions, the two of you had met in the middle bench after he was trying to prove something wrong to you. 
When Cedric appeared back in front of the stands with the glowing Triwizard cup held high over his head in victory and every Hogwarts student loudly celebrating, you had jumped up from your seat and shook wildly an irked Draco beside you. He roughly shrugged your hands off his stiff shoulder, looking up at you with a sneer that you met with a bright beaming smile.
“Pay up, Malfoy!” You held out your hand towards him, opening and closing your fingers to receive the bet money. “I believe it was ten galleons you owe me.”
He begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and fished out the coins, counting them defeatedly before tossing them into your palm. “What a waste of galleons.”
“Hey, you made the bet,” you reminded him with a still very bright smile. You shoved the money into your pockets, keeping one of the gold coins in between your fingers, and gave him a small hair ruffle that he harshly recoiled from before you turned to jump back up towards the level of stands your friends were originally sitting at.
“Were you really sitting with Malfoy this whole time?” One of your friends questioned when you reached them, a goading smirk on his face.
“Ooooh, she definitely was,” another friend piped up, wiggling her eyebrows. “They’re obsessed with each other.”
“Shut up,” you smack her arm casually, showing the pair the one gold galleon you were holding. “We are not. I was only sitting with him to get my bet money.”
“Sure,” they drawled in unison, sniggering when you threw your head back in annoyance.
You looked down the rows to see the mop of white hair you just sent into disarray. He was slowly descending the stairs of the stands with Crabbe and Goyle following closely behind him. Almost as if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned back to look at you, his cold gray eyes gazing into yours. It was like everything around you went quiet, the only thing in your focus was him and all you could do was stare back. It wasn’t until your friends started stifling laughter and whispering “aww’s” that you snapped out of the short-lived and odd few second trance you were in. He waited for you to do something before he turned back around, and you did - by holding up both hands; the one golden galleon on your left and your middle finger on your right, grinning to yourself when he rolled his eyes throwing you the finger right back before he finally disappeared into the mob of people below.
You were briskly walking down the corridors, books held tightly to your chest with your friend at your side while you made your way to Advanced Potions with Slughorn after Snape finally made his way into the DADA position. It was an easy class, potions being something you had a knack for and it gave you enough leisure to mess with your “favorite” Slytherin who shared it with you. 
“Look there goes your boyfriend,” your friend teases, elbowing your upper arm roughly and nodding her head down towards the hall to the tall blond appearing around the corner and entering swiftly into the class.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you hiss. “I’m tired of everyone saying that. I hate him and he hates me, end of story.”
“You know when you say you hate him, it just sounds like the opposite,” she says tauntingly. “Besides, hate is a strong word and very misplaced. Maybe, it’s just years of built-up tension that both of you have been too nervous to do anything about.”
“Tension? Yeah, I want to strangle him,” you laugh to yourself at the thought.
“Not that tension, idiot,” she shakes her head, “I mean sexual tension...clearly.”
You gave her a horrified look mixed between being disgusted and being offended. You held your hand over your mouth and pretended to gag as dramatically as you could. “I am appalled that you would even say that. I would rather be locked in a room with Filch and Peeves and hear them argue and fight all day than to be with Malfoy like that.”
“Come on, think about it,” she encourages, stopping the two of you a little ways away from the classroom. “You guys 'hate' each other?” She finger quotes the hate, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “When you hate someone, you don’t go out of your way to talk to them every day.”
“It’s not like that,” you wave a hand dismissively. “Also, this isn’t a cliche, this is real life. We hate each other, that is all there is to it.”
You picked up the walk again, your friend to following behind you while letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. You couldn’t help but think about what she said, sure, perhaps at one point you thought Draco was attractive with his bright silver hair, his glittering gray eyes, his little button nose that he would crinkle up every other word he spoke in his charming haughty voice, or the way he’d tower over you in the middle of a conversation gone wrong and he’d be talking lowly to you but all you’d be able to focus on was the sweet scent of apples and cologne that radiated off of him.
“No,” you whispered almost silently to yourself, forcing yourself out of your thoughts and shaking your head from side to side as if it was going to get the image out of your head. He was mean, disrespectful, arrogant, and insulted you daily - even if you both laughed about it or gave props for the perfect jabs.
The first thing your eyes landed on when you walked into the dingy Potions classroom was Draco, his focus trained on the ceiling as if he was deep in thought. Just as his eyes were about to flicker down towards you, and sensing that he was about to, you quickly avoided his gaze and concentrated onto Slughorn who was waiting patiently by his desk with a bubbling cauldron for you and your friend to join the crowd in front of him.
“Great! Now that we’re all here,” Slughorn began excitedly, fixing the sleeves of his robes as he grabbed the ladle in the cauldron and began stirring it while continuing his lecture. 
You were trying to listen, capturing only the professor’s last sentence as he called on someone who raised their hand. All attention was thrown out the window when you realized Draco was standing near said classmate, a look of annoyance suddenly clouding his features when his pale eyes met yours.
“What?” He mouthed. You ignored him, trying to turn your concentration back onto Slughorn but nothing he was saying made sense, and right as you caught a word you did understand, a shuffling and an abrupt arm knocking into yours threw you right back out of the loop.
“Watch it,” you snap hushedly when you notice who it is. “Why are you over here?”
“I can’t say hello to my number one fan?” He whispers back, snickering slightly when you scoffed quietly.
“Fan? Says the one who shoved his way through the crowd to come over here,” you grumble, crossing your arms. 
“I hardly shoved,” he mutters. “I only moved because I couldn’t see Slughorn from where I was standing. Not everything’s about you.”
“Really? Because to me, it seemed like you came over here for my attention.”
He let out a breathy chuckle, a patronizing smile making its way onto his face. The type of typical boy smile where his mouth is half agape with his tongue smoothing over his teeth as he stared off across the room with his fingertips rubbing thoughtfully against his jawline as he thought of what to say. You stood still as he bent down, nearing his mouth towards your ear and whispering hotly, “you wish, darling.”
Slughorn sent everyone to their paired tables, and as everyone began moving and Draco sauntered off away from you, you stood stuck there, shocked with the lingering chills that were sent down your spine from your archnemesis’ comment.
“I told you, you’re into each other,” your friend sang expectantly from behind you, grabbing onto your sleeve and directing the two of you towards your table. 
You were working peacefully at your workspace, cutting up, peeling, and crushing the ingredients that your friend was sliding across the surface to you. In the table behind you was where Draco was working annoyingly quiet, tossing the stripped stems of the roses at you that you had to peel, tiny thorns pricking at your ankles through your socks since the bigger thorns had been taken off for the potion. As payback, you would throw back loose extra pearl dust you ground up, giggling tauntingly when he would frown at you for getting the coarse white powder all over his Italian leather shoes and most definitely inside of them as well.
When you, and seemingly the rest of the class, had finally thrown in all the ingredients and the potion promptly finished brewing, beautiful clouds of white and pink smoke began rising from the cauldrons, each one having a lovely scent of first; freshly pressed high-priced linens, then a faint smell of a brand new racing broom out of a box with a freshly polished wood handle that then quickly transformed into a sweet harvest of apples, green specifically, and finally...
“Ugh, gross,” you pinched your nostrils closed, turning your body around and sending a scowl towards Draco’s way. “Malfoy, we get it, your cologne is expensive, now stop spraying it. I was smelling all these wonderful things and you ruined it.”
He arched an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Are you mad? I didn’t spray anything, I think you’ve finally lost it.”
“Well you laid it on too heavy this morning then, it reeks in here.”
“You’re one to talk, Y/L/N. Did you bathe yourself in that dreadful perfume you wear just now? And that ghastly lip shiner thing you use,” He sneers, crinkling up his nose. “I can’t even think straight, I might vomit.”
“Lip shiner? It’s called lip balm, you prat,” you retort, crossing your arms angrily. “Either way, I haven’t used or sprayed anything either so-”
“For Merlin’s sake!” Your friend suddenly exasperated loudly from beside you making you briskly whirl around to look at her, a look of pure annoyance etched onto her face. “Are you two really that daft? Honestly? Have you been paying attention to anything other than each other? For instance, the potion we just made?”
This gained the attention of your classmates around you in the surrounding tables, turning their heads slightly but not obviously with small knowing smirks on their faces while they snickered quietly and listened. It was soundless as you reached towards the book in front of your friend, pulling it painstakingly slow towards you in fear of the words that were written on the open page.
“Amortentia,” you muttered glumly as you read the page, pushing it away from you dejectedly as everything began to click.
“The reason you’re both smelling each other is because you’re what the other desires and is attracted to. Wow, what a revelation! As if the whole school didn’t already know.”
You were afraid to turn around. You could feel the cold and hard pair of eyes burning holes onto your back and the immediate amount of whispers and giggles of the people around you. Luckily, Slughorn was busy at the other end of the room, working diligently with another pair of students who managed to mess up their potion. 
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Draco announces finally.
“What’s so ridiculous about it?” You questioned, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach when you turned again and took notice of the way his lips were curling upwards as if it was the most disgusting thing he could have ever heard.
“Think about it, Y/L/N,” he deadpans. “Why would I ever desire someone like you?”
There had been occasions over the years when you were in this situation. None as drastic and as revealing, but there would be times when friends and others would poke fun and say the exact same thing your friend told you earlier. The usual, “they got the hots for each other!” and you would always brush it off and joke about how you could never, and he’d do the same. It was always amongst laughs and jokes, but as you looked at the Slytherin in front of you - there wasn’t a hint of amusement on his hardened face.
“Piss off, Malfoy,” you seethed, biting down hard on your lip to refrain from lashing out either in tears or in insults, you couldn’t decide. “If I’m so revolting, leave me alone from now on, I mean it.”
“I never said that,” he argues. “You’re just simply not my type.”
For some eerie, awful reason, the words tore into you like a sharpened knife going easily through butter. You were used to his insults, his mocking, his comments about your appearances - but this hurt, and you couldn’t explain why. You thought, for a second, possibly, that maybe your friend was right. Maybe there was a hidden attraction you had for the platinum blond that you buried deep away and one that he had for you. There was no way that was the case now, not at all. 
And for the first time in your life, you couldn’t be more sure of a simple little fact.
You hated him.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
You don’t know how long you spent sitting in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, back against the cold tiled wall with your knees brought up to your chest. Your friends had tried to console you after the public rejection and humiliation, but their words only made you feel worse. You felt silly for being so bothered about being rejected by Malfoy, he wasn’t exactly someone you fancied, to begin with.
After dinner, you went off the grid and found yourself where you’re now sitting. The ghostly girl flew restlessly around you, popping out of her stall now and then to chat but then going back into her abyss of nothing when she learned you were still upset. You noticed it made her a little too pleased, considering the fact it was always her who was miserably wailing about her problems in the bathroom. She tried to hide it and let you talk to her about how you felt, but she gave terrible advice most of the time. 
“Well, if it was me, I would have never started fancying someone who was mean to me,” she mumbled. “Like when Paul Wighorn made fun of my hair for a whole year and laughed when I cried. I hated his guts then and I still do now.”
She had a point, but she was also Myrtle. Nothing about the overly dramatic ghost made sense.
“I don’t fancy him, It’s just weird,” you trail off. “I can’t imagine a day without him, even if he is a complete arse. We always joked about how we hated each other, but I didn’t think he actually meant it, I guess.”
“I think you do fancy him, though,” she whispers knowingly in your ear, making you flinch from her cold draft. “Stop denying it, it’ll only keep making you feel worse. Amortentia doesn’t lie, silly. Maybe when you drink it, but before that, all real feelings are there, whether you know it or not.”
You sat quietly, taking in her words before something came crashing down onto you like a wall of bricks.
“I suppose that means he’ll have to stop denying it too,” she adds thoughtfully. 
“Myrtle,” you rush to get up, smoothing your hair down profusely and fixing the wrinkles in your clothes. “You’re a genius.”
“I am?” She asks excitedly. “What did I say?”
You waved her off, giving her another thank you before rushing out of the bathroom and into the empty corridors. You were trying to go back to your dorm to sleep, hoping that when tomorrow came you would be bold enough to confront the Slytherin Prince but it was thirty minutes past curfew, something you didn’t notice until you were bustling down the steps in a rush and came face to face with the man of the hour himself doing his Prefect patrolling duties.
“Go to your dorm, Y/L/N,” he sneers. “I’ll take away house points, don’t test me,”
“I don’t believe you.”
“That I’ll take away house points? Watch me. Five-”
“No, you twat,” you groan, swatting his arm with your hand. “I don’t believe that I’m not your type.”
He stayed wordless for a moment, biting the inside of his cheeks and clenching his jaw as he peered down at you from his lanky height. “Why not?”
“Because I didn’t think you were my type until the amortentia made me aware of it,” you answer quietly. “Actually, my friend had a hand in it, but it was mostly the potion.”
Silence, again. Still and deadly. You could hear the large clocks around the school tick and tock, the hundreds of paintings snoring peacefully or chattering quietly. You avoided looking up at the boy in front of you, all of a sudden feeling small under his gaze until you felt cold fingers brush against your cheekbone and then softly through your hair causing you to finally look up into the soft wandering almost blue eyes. 
“I didn’t find out with the amortentia,” he muttered almost reluctantly as if it was the most difficult thing he had to reveal. “I’ve known I’ve liked you for a while.”
“How long is a while?” You curiously wonder aloud.
“I’m not telling,” he smirks. “Perhaps you’ll figure it out one day.”
Both hands came up to rest on your cheeks, slightly cold but soft and tender. It sent chills throughout your body as he took a step closer to you and then closer, backing you carefully into the diagonally ascending stone wall that went in the direction of the stairs. Your breathing was getting uneven, you noticed the way you accidentally switched to manually forcing yourself to inhale and exhale normally when he leaned down with his face now being mere centimeters from yours. It was torture, having your eyes closed and feeling the way his nose was brushing against yours, minty breath warm against your lips as he ghosted over them with his. He was so close, you smelt everything that was in the damn potion that got you here. It sent flutters of warmth down your body, trickling down and seeping deeply into every bone in your body as if this is was the remedy its been needing. This is what you’ve been missing.
When you finally felt a soft pair of lips being pressed into yours, it felt almost unreal that you were there. It was awkward the first couple of seconds, both of you wondering how in the world had you gotten yourselves in this position, but after you relaxed and he found his Prince of Slytherin confidence - it was magic. His lips moved languidly against yours, affectionately and full of longing. He kept his hands on your cheeks, still timid to move anywhere else while you kept yours resting lightly on his sides. It scared you a little, how fast and how easily you melted into each other, like if this was something you’ve been doing with him for years rather than torment the other for laughs. 
You hated the feeling when he pulled away, a gust of freezing castle air passing through the space between you and cooling your lips and face from his contact. His hands dropped down to his sides and he looked down at you with a small smile, a teeny bit smug, but happy. You wanted to feel the same way, but a question still loomed over your head, overpowering the giddiness you were vividly feeling.
“Why did you lie earlier?” You question softly, directing your gaze to the floor. “In class, I mean.”
He thought about his answer for a second, sighing deeply when he realized he had to uncover more truths about himself to you. You took a mental observation at that, he didn’t like to talk about feelings. “You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d beat you to it and reject you before you could reject me.”
“What made you think I’d reject you?” You coaxed. “Other than the fact that I made you a sworn enemy at eleven.”
“Exactly that,” he laughed lightly. “You’re unpredictable, Y/N.”
You smiled to yourself at the realization that he finally used your first name. “So are you, Draco.”
“Not really,” he grins. “Like in just a few moments, for example, I’m going to start snogging you.”
You opened your mouth to encourage him but shut it quickly when he closed the space between the two of you again, this time much closer than he was before. He was flush against you, and when you say you could feel everything; you could feel everything. You were almost begging for him to lean down and kiss you again by the time you felt his hands on you again, running delicately around the exposed skin of your hips when your shirt hiked up an inch on accident. He leaned down again, and with the advantage of his lowered height, you let your hands slide up his arms, biceps, and ultimately the nape of his neck where your fingers continued up into his hair. The breathiest gasp escaped his throat as you tugged at the ends gently, smirking to yourself when he closed his eyes in delight at the touch.
His lips came down onto your fast this time and hastily, pressing himself impossibly closer into you. You could feel his grip tighten against your hips, his hold moving upwards onto your waist as he continued to kiss you fervently. His teeth bit down softly on your bottom lip and you wasted no time in parting them slightly for his tongue to meet yours. You tugged at the platinum strands of hair again, feeling triumphant when a low groaning sound emitted from his throat at the sensation as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further.
You knew you were done for when one of his hands slowly slid up your upper body, stopping first at your collarbones with warm fingertips fluttering over the skin, before he moved it upwards completely and he now had his large hand wrapped comfortably around your neck. You gasped in delight into the kiss, a swarm of butterflies going directly to your lower stomach as he squeezed against the artery in your neck meticulously, the coldness from his Malfoy family crest ring only adding fuel to the fire. He tore his mouth away from yours with his hand still clutched firmly around your throat and you were almost sent into orbit with the look he was giving you. A look filled with desire, adoration, and intensity - his pale gray eyes were much darker, almost a dark blue that resembled the starry night sky on a summer night.
Lips reattached themselves roughly and feverishly against your jawline, peppering long and tender kisses all the way towards your ear and then down towards your collarbones where he was beginning to undo the rest of the top buttons of your school dress shirt. You felt him smile against your hot skin when you’d writhe underneath him, emitting weak whimpers that you couldn’t hold back that he ended up having to clasp a free hand over your mouth as he whispered into your ear to stay quiet.
It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a poorly lit corridor where anyone could walk past and see the frenzy that was unfolding, nor did it matter to Draco that his Prefect duties were long forgotten. Your friend was right, and everyone else for that matter; it wasn’t hate you felt for the blond at all, it was years and years of a craving and a hidden yearning packed with displaced tension.
And now, you were both exactly where you wanted to be; together.
8K notes · View notes
fandomlit · 3 years
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neutral, chap. 3 (dream smp x reader)
series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.
chapter summary after teaching tommy how to make cookies, you surprise him with your archery skills as you fight off mobs swarming outside of your house. tommy comes to a conclusion that makes him slightly ashamed of himself; being neutral doesn’t make you weak.
warnings swearing, killing of mobs (zombies, spiders, skeletons), some mental health talk (kinda)
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gif cred belongs to @netheriteaxe
it was storming the next night. after a nice dinner of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, y/n proposed that tommy help her make some dessert for them to enjoy.
“you sure i can’t mess this up?” tommy asked warily as she opened her small, self-written recipe book and placed it in front of them.
“im sure,” she assured, patting his cheek endearingly. he made a face. “your face is gonna freeze that way, kid.”
“whatever,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes as she laughed. “what are we making?”
“cookies!” she smiled. “one of the easiest things you can make.”
tommy sighed. though it was embarrassing to admit aloud, he couldn’t help but feel nervous about the experiment. “what do we need?”
“well...” after thirty minutes of patience from y/n, frustration from tommy, and unhelpful side commentary from ghostbur, the cookies were nearly ready to place in the furnace.
“how big should i make them?” tommy questioned, looking up at y/n from the baking sheet she had spread out for him.
she shrugged, placing her hand on the back of the chair ghostbur sat in. “however big you want. measure with your heart.”
“you also said that about the chocolate chips,” ghostbur commented. “now we’re all going to have cavities.” y/n whacked the boy on the back of the head, keeping her expression kind as she looked at tommy. 
“however you want them,” she assured. tommy nodded in return, turning back to the baking sheet just a loud banging came from the main entrance of the house. y/n peeked out of the kitchen. “oh, wow, that’s a lot of mobs..”
ghostbur leaned back to see. “goddamn!”
“tommy, you go ahead and portion and pop those into the oven,” y/n spoke, running a hand through her hair. “i have a feeling my door’s not gonna last much longer.” she rushed out of the room without another word.
“having fun yet?” ghostbur questioned as tommy began to portion out the blobs of cookie dough.
“kinda,” he shrugged. “y/n’s a good teacher.”
“she is,” ghostbur agreed.
“it’s also kind of nice to have a break from more chaotic things,” tommy continued as he worked. “you know, y/n surrounds herself with peace. she’s not a fighter like you were and i am. so, it’s nice to do as she does.” ghostbur chuckled and tommy looked up just as he finished portioning out the dough. “what?”
“whoever said y/n wasn’t a fighter?” ghostbur teased. just then, said girl came back into the kitchen with a bow in hand and a quiver full of arrows slung over her shoulder.
“cookies in yet?” she asked, eyes gleaming with excitement he hadn’t yet seen from her. her words were rushed out, and he stuttered to reply quickly.
“y-yeah, well, about to be,” he managed out. “what are you doing?”
y/n grinned at him as he lowered the tray of dough into the furnace. “someone’s gotta deal with the mobs out front.” before she disappeared, tommy called out to her.
“wait, y/n!” he called. “can i come with?”
“sure!” she laughed. “ghostbur, set a timer for fifteen, please!” tommy rushed to follow her as she practically raced up the stairs. ghostbur grinned after them.
“where are we going?” tommy huffed out as y/n led him down a hall he was yet to discover.
she slowed down, opening up a door that revealed the stormy night to him. “right out here.” tommy stepped out onto the small balcony. tarps covered the sides, preventing them from being pelted by the brunt of the rain and wind, but allowed them access to viewing the main entrance from the side.
“are you good with a bow, tommy?” y/n asked, still smiling as she delicately plucked an arrow from her quiver.
“uh- not really..,” the boy admitted, rubbing his neck sheepishly.
“that’s alright,” she smiled reassuringly as she lined up the arrow in her bow and pulled the string back. “i assume you’re better with a sword?”
“much better,” he nodded. she let out a hum before releasing the string from her fingertips, and tommy could barely keep up with the arrow that flew through the air and lodged itself in between a skeleton’s shoulder and collarbone, causing the mob to collapse into a pile of uselessness. tommy’s mouth suddenly felt dry as y/n loaded another arrow. 
he had never seen someone take down a skeleton in one shot, not even dream.
tommy watched as she closed one eye, aiming at three zombies lined up. she took a breath before tugging harshly at her string, then letting the arrow zoom through the storm and cleanly through the three’s heads. they all crumbled into a mass of rotten flesh.
“four mobs and two arrows?!” tommy managed as y/n reached for another. she looked over and laughed at the surprised boy. “how the hell did you do that?”
“i’ve always been good at aiming,” she spoke casually as she worked to load another arrow, aiming now at a spider working its way up her walls. she managed to lodge the arrow into its leg, effectively tearing it off of the creature and causing it to tumble onto the zombie below. they heard it hiss just before another arrow pinned through its heart and the zombie’s head, rendering both creatures silent. “not so much with close contact fighting.”
“i think this makes up for it,” tommy spoke distractedly, shaking his head with amazement as he watched her fingers move with instinct and practice. she launched another strong arrow into the hoard.
she laughed as she continued to work. “i fumble when im up close..” arrow after arrow whizzed from her bow. “from this distance, i can take my time. i can breathe, i can calculate.” mobs went down, pair after pair sinking to the cold, wet grass below. “and when we can do those things, our work only shows it.” she knocked down one last skeleton before she dropped her bow to her side. there were now only a few creepers and spiders mulling around.
“that was amazing,” tommy spoke after a moment of silence, looking at her with wide eyes. she gave him a smile. “i.. wow.”
she laughed just as ghostbur peeked his head out. “five minute warning.”
“thanks, ghostbur,” y/n nodded. “come on, kid. let’s towel off and eat some cookies.” tommy nodded, following her back into the house. he stayed behind with ghostbur as she went to grab towels.
“so?” ghostbur spoke with a knowing grin. “how was that?”
tommy shook his head, still processing the skill he had just experienced. “she’s the best archer i’ve ever seen! she didn’t miss a single target, she knew exactly where and when to aim, i-” he let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “i can’t believe i thought she couldn’t fight. of course she can fight.”
“neutral doesn’t mean weak,” ghostbur spoke wisely, placing a hand on tommy’s shoulder. the boy looked up at him with pursed lips, guilt weighing in his chest. “y/n is the strongest woman i know; she cooks, she welds, and she can work a bow like you’ve never seen. never expect anything with her, tommy. she’ll never stop surprising you.”
tommy nodded. “neutral doesn’t mean weak, eh?” ghostbur gave him a smile. “of course it doesn’t. it’s not like she chose this life.. there was a war.”
“right,” ghostbur confirmed. “it’s alright to be wrong sometimes, tommy. especially about someone you’ve known and lived with for what, a week?” he nodded. “see? you don’t have to know everything all the time.”
“okay,” tommy nodded, his voice quiet as ghostbur squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “wow. it’s strange to be able to hold myself to a lower standard.”
“y/n is teaching you some amazing things about mental health, tommy.”
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technowoah · 3 years
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THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)
CHAPTER 3: YOU’LL BE BACK TIME WILL TELL, YOU’LL REMEMBER THAT I SERVED YOU WELL.
Chapter Summary: Declarations are written, you and Eret have a talk, finally you make a decision, and Tommy wants to fight someone.
pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader
an// I hope you guys want more of this story cause I have some more ideas for y/n to go through. 
⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, mentions of fighting, not proofread.
word count: 4.0k
part 2 - part 4
"Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur finished closing the book with a huff. 
You had been listening the whole time. Of course it was good, but you finally figured out what L'Manburg stands for even more. Wilbur made this place because of freedom. They wanted independence from the kingdom itself. It was sort of contradictory at first, You couldn't get your finger on it. All in all it was a beautiful piece of writing and it showed the true feelings of this land.
"What do you think?" Wilbur had gotten up and placed the book in a chest.
 He stayed over there by the chest in the corner leaning against said chest while staring at You still sitting at the huge meeting table. You sat there for a good 5 minutes. He had read the book slowly emphasizing the parts which were supposed to hit hard. You had to admit  it seemed rushed, but still beautiful.
"It was a beautiful piece!" 
"Thank you! I wrote it myself." Wilbur smirked as he sat down on the edge of the table.
"I would've guessed so." You laughed a little. It was still a serious matter to you. 
"I'm still curious as to why you are here." Wilbur had spoken out of nowhere. It was completely off topic.
"I'm curious as to why you still have me here." You shot back.
"Touchè" Wilbur thinned his lips as he looked out the van's window.
You followed his line of sight and saw what was happening outside. Tubbo was currently laying down on the grass while Tommy sat by him staring at the door of the van. Eret stood up talking to Tubbo and Fundy was lying on his stomach facing away from the group, but it seems like he was still listening because his fox ears kept perking up when Eret or Tubbo spoke.
It was a long silence before Wilbur spoke again and filled that silence.
"Tommy found a woman to join L'Manburg earlier on, but you were American so we didn't let you in. He didn't like that at all. I'm surprised he hasn't convinced Tubbo to shun you." Wilbur shook his head while laughing.
"So you let me in? Why?" You asked, still serious.
"You're Eret's wife now, also half American. Half." Wilbur explained while making pitching motions with his fingers.
Before You could speak Wilbur started again, "Also I said you intrigued me, you haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."
You hummed in agreement. He was right, but you weren't going to tell him that. You were in the middle of a debacle all of a sudden. You just wanted to be a citizen of this new kingdom that your close friend was a part of. You felt so small, you felt like you had no purpose. Maybe this is your calling. 
You were conflicted. This could be a new home. But then.
Your eyes widened as you stared out of the window looking at Tubbo and Fundy laughing in the grass at what Eret said, and Tommy tapping his fingers on his thigh staring worriedly at the van's door. This can't be youhome. You were a spy. You were going to be queen. This is youplace, not some fake country in the woods. You eventually had to go back to Dream, Sapnap and George. That's your purpose.
"I'll be a part of L'Manburg. I want to become a part of L'Manburg. " You stated strongly, trying to make your facadè stronger.
"What if I say no again?" Wilbur smirked.
"I am going to be a part of L'Manburg. This is my home right" You smugly.
"We'll see after today. I'm going to take this and go outside and read out the Declaration to my fellow L'Manburgians. C'mon." Wilbur walked back over to the chest and took out the book.
Wilbur beckoned You over to the door and they both exited the HTO Van together.
"Oh my gosh! What were you two doing in there?!" Tommy shot up from his seat on the grass and sped walked over to the duo. Fundy was finally sat up by both Tubbo and Eret.
"Having adult conversations, which you know nothing about." Wilbur said laughing.
"Hey! I am a grown adult! At least more grown up than Tubbo over there!" Tommy complained pointing at the other kid.
"Hey we are the same in maturity I like to think!" Tubbo sat up from his spot. 
"I haven't been here for long, but Tommy is the least mature person here." You sighed.
"HEY!"
"THANK YOU!" 
"Hey children gather around!" Wilbur finally interrupted the meaningless conversation.
Fundy, Eret, Tommy, and Tubbo gathered around Wilbur and You.
"You wanted to know what we two were doing, well." Wilbur brings the book from behind his back into their view.
"This is the new declaration! Gentlemen, I need you all to sign this." Wilbur handed the book to Tubbo first and then passed it around.
They all seemed proud. Their eyes lit up as the book was passed around. You could see Tubbo trying not to flip through the pages, Fundy was over Tubbos shoulder looking at how intricate the book was. Tommy was impatiently waiting while Eret stood calmer to the side.
All of a sudden You heard something around the walls of L'Manburg. It was like a loud rustling of somesort. You quickly scaled the walls with your eyes and found a familiar set of netherite armor and black hair. You saw three other figures in that same area as well. You saw Dream and George and a new face you haven't seen before. He had tufts on blonde hair coming out of his helmet. He looked dangerous.
"Um guys. You have visitors." You said while still looking at the four soldiers over the walls.
"Oh god." Eret whispered.
"Um they are in here. They're in HERE." Tommy said anxiously.
"It's fine they can watch this. I want them to hear." Wilbur said as he beckoned the five of them to the top of the HTO van.
Once they made it all on the top of the van Wilbur faced the four before speaking out in a loud strong voice.
"THE DECLARATION OFINDEPENDANCE
Signed: Wilbur Soot, Tubbo_, TommyInnit, ERET, Fundy
Forever the nation of the DreamSMP have cast great sins upon our great land of the hto dog van. They have robbed us. Imprisoned us. Threatened us. Killed many of our men. This time of tyranny ends with us this book declares that the nation which shall be henceforth known as L'Manberg is seperate, emancipated and independant from the nation of DreamSMP. The union of the masters of men.”  
Wilbur began to pace around the area they were all in as he continued the long declaration.
“Together we are one. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one to dissolve the bonds which bind us. Disregarding of this truth is nothing short of tyranny. WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT. THAT ALL _MEN_ ARE CREATED EQUAL The right of the people exists above the right of the king. The right of the government and the right of the economy. From the hto dog van we shall prevail. Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur ended.
"Im framing this fucker" The boys started cheering as Wilbur jumped down and entered the van. 
You couldn't take your eyes off of the soldiers. You watched as there was something that fell inside the walls. From afar it looked like a book, a book that fell on the ground inside the walls. The boys were still talking and cheering, but apparently Tommy followed your gaze to the book that fell. 
"What is that?" Tommy said and You and him hopped down and walked over to the book that was dropped. 
It had to be from Dream. You looked up the walls and saw no one there, they must've left. Tommy picked up the book and flipped through it.
"Uh oh." Tommy said suddenly.
"Uh oh what?" You peaked over Tommy's shoulder. 
He handed you the book and your heart dropped. "Declaration of War."
"Oh shit." You whispered 
"Yeah" Tommy and You headed back to the van. 
Tommy snatched the book from You's hand and yelled to Wilbur who was still in the van.
"Wilbur! There’s a book for you. He dropped a book!" Tommy yelled. Tommy and You made their way into the van and found Wilbur leaning underneath a door frame.
"Hold this for me. Let's swap books." Wilbur said.
Wilbur took the new book and began to read it aloud.
"Decla- uh oh."
"Wait, can you read it out loud?" Tubbo asked 
"What was it called?" Eret asked as well.
Wilbur made his way back into the meeting room, sat down, plopped the book on the table and everyone followed suit into the room. He placed his head into his hands and began to speak again.
"The dec- the declaration of war." He finally said.
"OH!" 
"Oh no!" 
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a state of war." Eret said playfully next to me.
"This is how we consolidate our power! Men this is not something to fear, this is how we show that we are a nation. If we can hold this off, if we can thwart their advances. Do you know why they're attacking us? Power, greed," Wilbur paces around the HTO van angery still ranting about the situation.
"They're scared!" Tubbo added
"If we can show that our nation is strong enough to hold up against an army, then we can show that we are strong enough to run independently."
"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence." You spoke up.
The L'Manburgians were now outside since they followed Wilbur out here.
Wilbur turned around to face You with a neutral face. It was a contrast from just a few minutes ago.
"You're right. For now though we need to show we can stand up for ourselves, they think we are weak. We aren't."
"I understand." You hummed and an awkward silence fell upon L'Manburg.
"Y/N, would you like to become a citizen of L'Manburg?" Wilbur asked formally.
This was a part of the test wasn't it? So many thoughts were going through your head at the moment. This had to be a part of the plan. The whole Declaration of War. You wouldn't get hurt right? And then L'Manburg, you had to accept because if not everything would go to waste. 
You smiled, "I would love to Wilbur."
Wilbur extended his hand out for you to shake and You grabbed it and shook hand firmly. It was official.
"Aye! Did I just see what I think I just saw?!" Tubbo and Fundy appeared out of nowhere.
"I saw a handshake~! Very professional." Fundy said, adding to what Tubbo said prior.
"Yes it did! I am a L'Manburgian now!" You cheered and so did Tubbo.
"The first woman in L'Manburg." Wilbur said.
"WHAT? The first woman in L'Manburg is American?!" Tommy angrily stomped out from around the van.
"You're a good addition I think." Wilbur smirked at Tommy, who was fuming.
"Hm, we'll see about that." Tommy narrowed his eyes at You, but you just smiled at the boy. Apparently that made him even more upset.
Tommy began to walk away before Wilbur began to speak again.
"Before you all leave, we need to have potions, more enchanted bows, arrows, and armor. That's all for now. I'll figure out the rest tomorrow." Wilbur finished and the others agreed.
"Goodbye everyone!" 
"See you all tomorrow!"
Fundy and Tubbo left the L'Manburg walls leaving Tommy, Eret, You and Wilbur still inside the walls.
"Y/N can I talk to you for a minute?" Eret pulled you to the side. Currently Tommy and Wilbur were talking inside the van and You was chilling outside.
Eret took you away from the van and to a semi secluded place.
"Are you comfortable with what's happening?" Eret carefully asked.
"I'm unsure what's going to happen. I hate that feeling. I'm just worried that something will go wrong. I don't wanna die!" You said that last part while laughing.
Eret laughed a little too trying to lighten up the mood.
"I am too. We have to live long enough to become king and queen." Eret smiled and so did You.
"I don't want to die. Yeah that's one problem, but the other one is that I don't know where I belong. It's hard, is this your home Eret?"
Eret sighed, "Ahh! That's the problem! I would consider this my home." 
Eret paused looking at Tommy and Wilbur talking by the HTO van. He took a second and looked You in the eyes again.
"I have the same feeling as you, but I feel like this can't be our purpose. This isn't meant to be, this home is temporary like a wilting home. We can always buy a new one after the old home withers away." Eret concluded. 
You and Eret turned their heads to the noise of Wilbur and Tommy playfully bickering, they seemed like brothers, it was cute. The citizens of L'Manburg seemed like a family. 
L'Manburg was a calm place. It was a calm house in a huge storm, but sometimes the house can get destroyed by the storm and it will be time to find a new house.
"We'll be okay. You're right by the way." You hummed looking up at Eret.
"I know." Eret smiled down at You.
"You know that we'll be okay? Or-"
Eret cut You off by pulling you into a comforting hug.
"We'll be okay, Dream would never hurt us. You know that. And I am always right." Eret laughed and You joined.
"Hey fuckers, I'm out!" Tommy yelled as he made his way towards the two in a hug.
They pulled away as Wilbur made his way over as well and spoke in a baby voice, "The baby needs someone to take him home~!" 
"NO I DON'T! I'M NOT A BABY! I just don't want to get mugged." Tommy complained.
"He is a baby." Wilbur bluntly said.
"I AM NOT-" 
"Hey! I can take you home!" You spoke over Tommy. 
"Thank God, okay bye you two!" Eret laughed.
"Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Wilbur questioned Eret.
Eret shrugged, "I'm 100% sure you can take care of yourself, she can fight. Also she's not alone." 
Wilbur slowly nodded and then began to walk away. The rest of them followed to the outskirts of L'Manburg. The group all ended outside of the walls and split apart. Wilbur goes with Eret and You with Tommy. 
The walk through the forest was rough because Tommy always took the most difficult way. He walked his way into skeletons to fight them, He sometimes stopped to check his menu, He also kept talking while not waiting for an answer. It was a lot to travel with him.
They eventually made it into the greater part of the kingdom and saw the familiar sights. As Tommy led the way, he began another conversation from the long journey.
"So, I can't believe I haven't asked you this before," Tommy laughed "Let me begin with this: I don't like you, but I will put up with you"
Tommy walked backwards through grass as he talked. 
"Wow what a great start." You sarcastically said, rolling your eyes.
"Don't test me. I just wanted to know why you married Eret in the first place." Tommy turned around and kept the pace You had while walking beside you.
Damn it. You were so close, of course Tommy would be suspicious of you. He basically said he hated you and now You think that he wants you out of L'Manburg. This might all go to shit if you can't get the right answer out of your mouth.
"I love him of course! Why wouldn't you want to marry someone you love?" What a lie.
You continued, "We were set up by a close friend, I am still getting to know him more and more each day, but isn't that with all relationships?"
"It seems so," Tommy spoke.
Tommy began stuttering over his words,
"Of course I know! I've been with women! Anyways, I didn't even know you were apart of the kingdom so-"
"So you wouldn't know how long me and Eret were together! So whatever you were gonna say would be invalid!" You shot back while pointing at him with a smirk.
Tommy hummed, "You're acting very territorial, very defensive." 
"Is it bad that I am trying to defend my relationship?" You asked.
"You were very sudden with it." Tommy huffed.
An awkward silence fell upon the two as they kept walking, You not knowing where their destination was. After a while of nothing Tommy started a conversation again. 
"I overheard Big E talking about fighting! Do you know how to fight?" Tommy asked enthusiastically.
"I like to think I do!" You said proudly.
You had learned everything you knew from your own self training and Dream of course. He always talked about how great a fighter you would be, so he took it into his hands to train You.
"Well, are you? I didn't see you fighting that many skeletons huh?!" 
"Because you kept "running into them" and fighting them yourself!" You yelled back and did air quotations around certain words.
"Cause I wanna get stronger! Buffer! The alpha male!" Tommy boasted.
"Well why put yourself into trouble in the first place?" You sighed.
"Cause it's fun!" Tommy's voice got significantly higher the more he complained.
"You don't think I can fight?" You laughed in disbelief.
"Yeah!" Tommy challenged.
"Then I challenge you to a duel!" You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to size Tommy up, even though you were shorter than him.
"Woah, woah what?!" 
You smirked, "You heard me Tommy! I want to fight you." 
Tommy began walking faster and You had to do the same. He kept shaking his head and muttering something. You finally caught up with him and overheard what he was muttering.
"What would Wilbur think of this?"
He muttered.
"He would be okay! Fight me! C'mon pussy!" 
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" 
You got him. You really wanted to fight this boy. You could prove yourself to him and even the rest of L'Manburg. You might've been contradicting yourself because of what you had said earlier.
"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence."
You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Tommy nor Wilbur to gain their trust. But at the same time you REALLY wanted to fight, have some drama. You're hard-headed just like Tommy, so either way they were going to fight.
"Fine! We will fight by the HTO van tomorrow!" Tommy said walking backwards heading off the path that they were going. 
"Deal?" You reached out to shake his hand. 
"Fucking deal!" Tommy exclaimed while shaking your hand.
Tommy walked in front of you and made his way to a house made of dirt. It was well made and, although it didn't look horrible, it was probably a secret base.
"This is my home! I'll see you tomorrow for our duel. Don't be late." Tommy said while entering his house and closing the door on You before you got the chance to speak.
This is going to be very interesting.
"Well, well, well. Look who we have here!" A british voice appeared to the side of You. 
Approaching the Prime Path was of course George and Sapnap. They always appeared at the right time because You were getting nervous you wouldn't make it back to the castle.
"Guys!" You exclaimed.
"Hey! We wanted to talk to you before, but you were occupied with "L'Manburg"." Sapnap put air quotes around L'Manburg like it wasn't real.
"We also wanted to walk you back home. Eret’s not being a good husband huh?" George laughed.
You spoke,"I was fine! Almost blew my cover though." 
"WHAT?"
"HUH?"
"Yeah I was walking Tommy home and he asked me why I married Eret and I panicked, but saved it!" You hurriedly explained to the two men.
"Jesus you would have ruined everything." Sapnap rubbed his face while walking ahead of George and You.
"But she didn't! You almost did." George sighed.
"I thought I did well." You hummed.
"Also sorry for the scare earlier." Sapnap said while laughing a bit.
You sarcastically stated, "Yeah the whole "Declaration of War" didn't scare me at all." 
"Aw boo hoo!" Sapnap mocked.
George shook his head while trying to keep in a laugh beside You. They were almost to their destination because you saw the huge castle in your sights. Sapnap dragged his feet on the path tiredly while George still had a small pep in his step.
You finally spoke up again, "Who was that other guy with the three of you? I've never seen him before."
"OH you haven't met Punz! He's one of the best fighters in the kingdom." George explained.
"Dream wants him on his side, he's getting many more warriors, "warriors", to fight against your L'Manburg." George put air quotes around warriors as he continued to explain. 
"He won't hurt you. None of us will, if that's what you're wondering." Sapnap said bluntly.
"I mean that makes me more comfortable now I definitely know." You hummed and so did Sapnap in agreement.
You would love to say that Dream would never hurt you, but that would be a lie. You never knew Dream's intentions from the beginning, but he always says that it's for your own good and it would work out in the end. You trusts Sapnap and George's word, you trust them with your life. Literally.
The trio made it to the castle's entrance and they all stopped. Sapnap yawned and George rubbed You on the back in a reassuring manner.
"Man, I have a lot to do." You sighed as you looked at the huge arches of the castle.
"Well get some rest! Ease your mind." George said.
"Yeah what he said." Sapnap said while stretching.
You smiled at the two of them before beginning to walk up to the main doors. Sapnap reached out to your shoulder and twisted you around to give the two boys a final look for the night.
"Are you 100% sure you are okay with this plan?" Sapnap said sternly.
"Cause you know we have to report back to the big guy." George added.
You paused for a moment. You looked back on the moment when Wilbur and yourself were in the HTO van
"You haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."
That whole place could be your home. Her calling, but then Sapnap and George in front of you. What about them?
"When have I ever steered you wrong?!"
Dreams' words circled in your head again for what it seemed like the 5th time today. It was tiring, but it was true. Even if you weren't okay with it you would get killed, so you want Eret and yourself to be safe. You didn't have enough connection with the L'Manburgians to keep them alive. This has to be you calling. Please let this be your calling.
"I am 100% sure. Let's do this."
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if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.
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Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.
Words: 2,160 words
Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk
Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)
Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 
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The end of the world.
The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.
At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.
You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.
“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.
Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.
So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.
It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 
You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 
“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”
“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 
“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“
He was saying it in case anything happens.
“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.
“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.
“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.
“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.
“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”
It happened so fast.
One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.
It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 
Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.
“… Y-Y/N…”
You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 
He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.
“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”
“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”
You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”
“We… We will?”
Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”
You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.
“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 
Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”
“Fred…”
“Five more minutes, I promise…”
You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.
“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.
“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”
“… Anything.”
Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”
There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.
This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 
Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.
If only you had five more minutes.
“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”
You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 
“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”
You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.
Some things are just meant to be.
You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”
He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”
“I love you, Freddie.”
With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“
Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.
“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.
You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.
“I guess we will be, after this.”
“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  
“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.
On our last few drags of air, we agree
I was, and you were
Happy
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Warning! This post contains spoilers up to chapter 170 of Tsubasa (and Chapter 71 of xxxHolic). Please skip this if you have not read that far.
Please also make no comments about what happens after that point in either manga.
~
SO here is the other splash image that really stuck out to me:
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This time not because of the Seresu arc but because of how the Infinity arc itself ends.
Here's the link to the original post the image is from if you'd like the full context, but the particular quote from that post I want to use as a reference is here:
"Syaoran also sits on the throne - which as far as I can tell, isn’t his. ... The only one ever wearing the crown they’re all wearing [on their clothes] is Sakura. Now, does it make sense that Syaoran has usurped her throne? Heck yeah! He’s stolen everything from her. He’s stolen her journey (they’re following him now, always a step behind), he’s stolen her feathers, and he’s stolen the person she’s in love with."
Where I was kind of on the right track but couldn't have possibly guessed what all the chess imagery was ultimately feeding into. Looking back now the initial liveblogs for all of these Chess-related splash images are such a big mix of different iconography, so it’s very fun reading through all my old guesses back then. I think I did a really good job of trying to decipher some of it, especially the Cinderella and Snow White imagery in Chapter 140, but the Chess was a bit trickier.
Which, like, understandable, because the chess game that was happening in the chapters was stressful as heck and did not end well, but there is a nice conclusion to it with this image which is easier to read now - especially in regards to Sakura. Because it's made very clear to the viewer that the symbol of the Queen piece is in reference to her; both in these splash images (where she wears the crown at one point, and every character wears the symbol in ways that reflect their allegiance to her) and in the plotline, where she functions as the Queen of the battles taking place. Here is another good example of the symbol being used for Sakura with it right there on her throne, and the two Syaoran's wearing the symbol in smaller ways to represent their relationship to her. But with that all in mind? I had no idea what it was really getting at with Syaoran on Sakura's throne here.
BUT NOW I DO.
If you go back to that example I just gave with Sakura sitting on her throne? It's a different throne! It still makes it very clear that she's undeniably the Queen piece, with the symbol in gold actually being a key part of the throne itself.
And the throne Syaoran sits on? It has the crown symbol as part of the decoration, but it's not representing him, it's just a small symbol to show that matches Sakura's throne. This throne is his own.
He's the King piece.
(And, important distinction; the throne is not Lava Lamp's, but our original plotline Syaoran who is now in Autopilot mode.)
This wouldn't have occurred to me the first time through because I was focused so much on what this might mean for Sakura, and how she related to everyone else, but the way the Infinity Arc ends really hammers this home. After all, Sakura is the mastermind in this arc - everything that happens is according to her plan. She's not playing chess just during the literal chess matches, but during the entire plotline, moving every character and circumstance into place to enact her final plan; to activate both Chi's at once, absorb both their feather's, and trigger Fai's curse - resulting in her pseudo (if purely physical) death. But like we see in the plotline, this isn't a loss - it's a win. It's exactly how she planned things to unfold, and it will lead her to winning the game.
Just in case anyone isn't familiar, in Chess the queen is the most powerful piece capable of the widest variety of moves - but the queen is not the endgame goal. You can lose the queen piece in any game and (besides losing a powerful piece) it's not the end of the world. You can still win the game without the queen piece. It's the King piece that's the Win/Loss condition. The King is the piece you have to keep safe at all costs, even if you lose other pieces in the process. The second the King dies, the match is over. You've lost.
And this matches exactly how Sakura played the series events. She was the Queen in control of every move, and Syaoran was the Win condition she was focused on. She foresaw Fai killing Syaoran in the future - which, for her, is the Losing Scenario. She planned everything to avoid this, and she succeeded! She lost the Queen piece (ie, her physical body) but won the ultimate goal of keeping the King safe. She won the 3D future chess game that she was playing by herself, and positioned herself in the place that would have the most benefit for the victory at the end. (Which I still haven't seen, but she was VERY confident about this having a better result than Fai killing Syaoran.)
I'm also super happy that this ties in really well with the fairy tale allusions I talked about back in Chapter 140, but in ways I wasn't aware of back then either.
I talked about Snow White and how the apple (that shows up in a lot of the splash images in Infinity) may have been referring to Sakura's tendency to sleep a lot. What I didn't realise was that Sakura was essentially about to pull the Big Brain Snow White maneuver on herself to ultimately win her chess game. While in Snow White the poison apple is a trap, here Sakura sprung the trap intentionally. Fai is the apple she bit into deliberately - she arranged it so that killed her body, breaking his own curse, and sent her to the World of Dreams (and thus, she is asleep) which also placed her in a Glass Coffin (aka The Jam Jar of Dreams - Im sorry I have no memory of what it's really called). So the Snow White metaphor is now complete.
But also Cinderella! In the image for 140 Sakura is trying on a glass slipper - so she's Cinderella figure as well. But at this point in the plot the clock hadn't struck midnight just yet - like Cinderella, Sakura knew the exact time limit she had to work with, and for her the timing had to be PRECISE. She spent all of Infinity stressed out of her mind about this plan she couldn't trust anyone else with, knowing full well that if she missed the window even slightly it would ruin absolutely everything and they would all lose. Which, funnily enough, makes Yuuko the fairy godmother, since she provided Sakura with the magic she needed to make her plan happen (via wishes). This also means that Fai stabbing her with the sword is the exact moment the clock struck twelve - and like the spell finishing, Sakura could finally drop the act and explain what she had done, even as all the magic disappeared (ie, her luck being traded away). There's even a detransformation sequence of a sort, with her body and soul going in two different directions. But either way, the Cinderella metaphor is also complete!
And with all that done the last part I want to talk about is back in the image of Syaoran on the throne. He's framed on either side with the curtains that portray the chess board, and they're tied back by chains with him in the very centre. He is visually chained to the board - which, like, of course he is. With his Autopilot programming in place he's essentially just a chess piece without any will of his own - a winning piece, for sure, but he's still being moved around without his choice. He's playing the game on auto, making the moves that will lead him to the winning gambit, but without his individual soul he has no choice but to keep playing until the game is over. The goal he's working towards isn't even his - it's Evil Wolverine's. So in the same way that everyone else was a chess piece in Sakura's strategy (if, sort of, willingly), including Sakura herself, Syaoran is a piece being moved around in Evil Wolverine's favour - though if he dies, it's game over for Sakura's side as well.
I'm unclear if Syaoran dying would be a game over scenario for Evil Wolverine, but at the very least it would end the game he is currently playing.
So, in the hyper future 3D chess game that Sakura was playing by herself she couldn't properly win the game for her side by taking out Syaoran because he's her king piece too. Syaoran is the piece at the centre of everything, and will be the key to winning the game for either side. We just have to wait and see if Sakura's gambit will pay off in the way she thinks it will.
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