#im so sorry if you could tell i fizzled out in the end | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minahoeshi · 3 years

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you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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javisjeanjacket · 3 years

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Safety Net - (marcus moreno x fem!reader)

A/N: I have nothing to say for myself except that i’m not sorry at all and don’t look at me. YES IM AWARE ITS A KIDS MOVIE BUT LIKE ...he hot🥺

Word count: 2.6K

Warnings: marcus moreno’s sexy ass, NSFW, 18+, eating, unprotected sex (wrap it up gang), oral sex (m recieving), fucking in a chair, f masturbation, cursing, i think that’s all:)

The smell of a hot pan cooling on the stove wafted through the house, and you breathed in it's scent gratefully.

"Mm, smells so good, honey." You noted, flicking your eyes up from the steaming lunch on the plate before you to meet Marcus's eyes.

Marcus grinned and chewed the bite of vegetables he was crunching in his mouth.

You scooped a helping of veggies into your mouth and chewed, the flavor of the spices Marcus used enveloping your taste buds in warmth. You tapped an impatient finger on the kitchen table and trained your eyes on the spot where the pad of your finger met the texture of the wood table below.

Marcus swallowed and asked, "You okay?"

You looked up to him and swallowed your bite. "Can we...talk?"

Marcus's eyes widened and the dark rims of his glasses made them look almost cartoonish. He put his fork down on the rim of his plate and wiped his hands on a napkin. He took in a deep breath and answered, "Sure."

You bit the inside of your lip and began, "We've been together for...awhile now."

Marcus nodded eagerly, his chest burning with the words he knew would be tumbling from your mouth any second. He could feel the disappointment and the melancholy that would fester in your absence already settling over his shoulders.

"And we still haven't, well, you know." You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to indicate what you were thinking.

Marcus swallowed against his dry throat and nodded that he understood.

"So what I'm asking is," Your chest pounded so loudly you could feel it's reverberations in your ears. "Do you-,” You sighed, trying to summon the courage to finish your question. “Are you attracted to me? Like, sexually?"

He reached across the table and grabbed one of your hands. "Sweet girl-" He pressed your knuckles to his lips, pressing soft kisses to each dip. His dark eyes looked into yours and flames began to sizzle in the pit of your stomach.

Your hips shifted slightly in the chair, the movement warding away the inkling of want in your core. "If it's me, I think I deserve to know." You added, your voice afraid.

Marcus dropped your hand from his lips and shook his head vigorously. He leaned back in his chair and let out a flustered breath.

The light from the windows behind him cast a dark shadow around his form that reached across the table and to you.

He took off his glasses and set them on the table, then rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. "No. No, honey, it's not you. Believe me.” He dropped his hands from his face and let out another heavy sigh. “It's not you."

You dropped your gaze from his eyes to his unfinished food in front of him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Marcus crossed his arms over his chest. He looked into the kitchen and lost himself a moment before replying, "The last time that I was with anyone was with...." The ending to his sentence too precious for him to bring to life again.

"Your wife?" You whispered, the words tender and shivering on your tongue.

He pulled his lips into his mouth and nodded slowly. He looked back down at his plate and you could see the tops of his ears growing red.

"I don't mean to put pressure on you, Marcus. If you want to wait, we can wait. I just wanted-" You tried to assure him.

"No, I don't. I don't want to wait anymore.” He looked down at his hands and the small Heroics symbol tattooed across the skin by his thumb. “Not with you." His dark eyes looked up to yours and it was their force that knocked the wind from your chest.

Struggling under his gaze, your rib cage seemed to breathe in it's own marrow- inhaling the surging adrenaline fizzling to life in your veins. Your eyebrows tensed and you reached your hand across the table towards him. "Are you sure?"

He took your hand cautiously and ran his thumb over your digits softly. "Yes. I'm just...kind of..." He trailed off, getting lost in the texture of your skin under his.

"Afraid?" You finished for him.

Marcus's eyes looked back up to yours, emotion sitting underneath them and bubbling in his chest. The need and desire on his face was matched fully by the fear snarling underneath the surface. His grip tightened on your hand and you took in a shaking breath.

You stood from your chair and walked towards him. You ran a tender hand through his thick, dark, hair and cupped his cheek.

Marcus's eyes shifted over your face and his chest thumped rapidly as you leaned closer to him.

"Just tell me if you need to stop, okay?" You whispered, gently brushing your lips against his.

He reached a hand up to your neck and nodded as he gently pushed, bringing your mouth to slot against his.

You melted into his kiss, your eyelashes fluttering at the softness in his touch. You rested a hand on his shoulder and the other sprawled over his face, his stubble tickling your soft palm.

He moved his second hand to grip your waist, his thick fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt. He swiped his tongue across your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him.

You could feel passion growing within him and smiled into his kiss as his hand on your hip guided you towards his lap. You sat on his thighs and the fire kindling in your stomach began to crackle and pop, the bulge in his jeans moving across your needy core. You moved your hands up to work through his hair and pulled softly.

He moved his hands to cup your ass, one of his wide palms shifting upwards and underneath your shirt. The warmth of his skin sent a jolt of pleasure through your simmering body.

Your hips jerked involuntarily and you cooed into his kiss. Your hands grasped at his green t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head to drop it on the floor behind his chair. You nuzzled your face into his skin, sucking and biting tenderly at his exposed chest.

Marcus hissed as you laved your tongue over the bites you adorned him with. His hands moved up your torso to your bra, his thumbs swiping across the cups and his fingers squeezing your body.

You kissed up to his ear and whispered his name as your hips began to rock against his, the rough fabric of your pants and his sending heat through your pussy.

"Hmm?" He answered, his hands now unhooking the clasp of your bra.

"Is it okay if I get on my knees for you?" You breathed on his ear and could almost see the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Marcus tried to stifle a moan and his hands shook as they gently pulled your bra and shirt down your arms, dropping them to the ground beside the table. He let his fingertips drag lightly down your skin as he looked over your body. He bit his bottom lip and whispered, "Yes."

You lifted yourself off of him and unzipped your pants enough to give your fingers access to your throbbing core, then sank to your knees, careful to move his chair so you wouldn't hit your head on the table. You unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, wiggling the pants and boxer briefs down his legs as he stood.

He sat back down and ran clammy hands down his bare thighs. "I've never been this scared before." He admitted, his gaze trained on you.

You shifted your eyes up from his impressive length up to the deep pools of his eyes. You ran your hands up his thighs to meet the shaking ones resting near his hips. You curled your fingers around his wrists. "Do you want me to stop?"

Marcus shook his head no, his blood pumping hotter and hotter in his veins. He had never faced something as overwhelming as this. He had never had to risk as much as this, never even wanted to consider the possibility before he met you. The fear of loving and losing was paralyzing. Anxiety surged through his body and was ticking rapidly in his chest. He felt the love he had held for his wife and how overcome with love he had been for her. He thought of the space between that love and the hollowness, the nothingness, he had felt when he lost her. More than anything, he wanted to just be a man in love with someone wonderful again. Not a Heroic or a widower, just Marcus. There was nothing more he wanted than for you to feel the fullness of his love blooming in his chest, and give you all he could despite the monstrous fear looming in his heart. Marcus was without a safety net, having had to live through the perils of falling from the life he once knew and down, down, down, into someplace he thought he would never make it out of alive.

He ran a hand through your hair, cupping your cheek in his hand. "I just-the last person I did this with, I lost. And I couldn't-" He let out a sigh and looked down from your gaze. "I couldn't do that again."

Keeping your eyes locked onto his, you pressed timid kisses to his legs. Your heart broke at his words and the expression on his face. You ran your hands back and forth over his knees, trying to soothe him. “Look at me.” You whispered.

He swallowed tightly and flicked his eyes up to you, his face still cast downward.

"You're not going to lose me, sweetheart.” You whispered.

Marcus tilted his head from one side to the other, his eyes piercing.

You pressed tender kisses to his legs, moving cautiously closer to his cock. “I’m not a superhero.” You said, then pressed your lips to his thigh. “I have a normal job in the city.” You kissed his opposite leg and let your hands shift higher up his body, your fingers brushing against the trail of hair near his belly button. “It’s safe, Marcus.”

His dick twitched and wept for you, hungry for the friction of your walls around it. His hips bucked and he let out breath through his teeth as your hands moved steadily closer and closer to his penis. One of his hands gripped your hair and the other planted itself on the chair behind him.

"Let someone save you for once." You whispered, taking his cock in your hand and pressing your lips tenderly to the throbbing member. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and slowly swirled your tongue around the tip of him. You took a small portion of him into your mouth and bobbed up and down slowly, allowing him time to adjust to the feeling of being pleasured by someone other than himself.

He dropped his head back against the chair and let out a soft moan. His hand in your hair loosened it's grip, his fingers weaving in between the strands slowly.

You sunk more of him into your mouth and let your spit coagulate and drip down him. You gently moved your lips up and down his thick cock. You could feel his thighs tense around your torso and you moaned around him.

His body jerked subconsciously and his eyes fluttered closed.

You pulled off of him and whispered, "Tell me how it feels, baby." You took him back into your mouth and started to quicken your earlier pace, your hands working the skin where your lips couldn't reach.

Marcus opened his mouth and began to form a response, but the sound fell out of his lips before his brain could create the word. His body squirmed under your touch and he moaned low in his chest.

You cooed around his length and reached your hand into your underwear, rubbing the soaked folds at the same pace your mouth moved up and down him, faster and faster until you dropped him from your mouth to ask, "It's been so long, hasn’t it?"

His hand in your hair tensed and he growled, his hips moving to fuck your mouth. The chair underneath him squealed as he moved it over the floor little by little.

You took as much of him as you could into your throat and wiggled your mouth as far down as you could, choking as he pushed against the back of your throat. You moved your free hand to gently tease his balls and the other circled your clit, bringing a groan of pleasure out from your chest.

Marcus's hand in your hair tugged hard and he pulled you away from him, his chest heaving. "Stop, stop. I'm gonna cum."

You ran your hands up his abdomen and around the curve of his hips. "I want you to cum, Marcus." Your eyes flicked back up to his innocently.

He licked his lips and pulled you up from your knees. "I want to fuck you first."

Your eyes met his and you could feel his passion burning and crackling in his chest. Your pussy clenched at his words and you shivered as his hand brushed against your ass, moving you back towards him. You straddled him, taking a moment to align his cock with your entrance. A wild whimper escaped your throat as you settled on him. Your hands clenched into his broad shoulders and your eyebrows tensed. Your body subconsciously began to grind against his, and the sheer mass of him inside you sent rockets of pleasure bursting and popping behind your eyes.

Marcus hummed low in his chest, the rumble sending warmth through you. His hands clutched at your hips, squeezing and guiding them as they squirmed, trying to adjust to his size. His mouth nipped at your breasts, sucking softly and rubbing the skin back and forth over his teeth hard enough to leave a mark. His mind began to blank, the pleasure of you around him pushing the doubt and anxiety so far from him he couldn’t remember what he had been scared about in the first place. He moved a hand from your hip to grasp your bouncing breast, his thumb teasing and pulling at the raised nub there.

You threw your head back and closed your eyes as you moaned.

"Okay?" He asked, his breath short and hot on your skin.

You nodded yes and wrapped both of your arms around his neck. You could feel yourself clench around him, the pressure so long awaited that you struggled to pace yourself.

Marcus's hand ran so softly up and down your body it almost tickled. He moaned as he thrust into you, the chair underneath squeaking with his movement.

Your back arched as you began to roll your hips against his. You whimpered and clutched at the ends of his hair desperately. Warmth ran up from where your core met his and wrapped itself around your lungs, your breath becoming shallow.

He hissed and moved both of his hands back to your hips as he picked up his pace. Your name fell from his lips followed by a loud groan.

You echoed him and tucked your face into the crook of his neck. His skin was warm under your lips as you whispered, "I've wanted this for so long. Fuck, you feel so fucking good."

Marcus kissed your cheek harshly and then groaned, his chest shuddering, "I'm sorry, honey."

"Wha-?" You asked breathlessly

He chuckled. “I'm gonna cum already." His arms flexed as he hugged your body to his and you could feel his cock twitching inside you.

You let out a few stacattoed yelps at his pointed thrusts, and said once you caught your breath, "Cum for me, Marcus."

His breathing warmed the shell of your ear as his pounding into your core became frantic. His hips snapped loudly and his jaw went slack. His face began to twitterpate and his chest heaved against yours. He grit his teeth as he reached closer and closer to his peak and you could feel the tension against your cheek.

Your mouth hung open and you braced yourself on the chair behind him. You cooed at the passion with which he loved you.

He growled and his pumping slowed as you felt the hot ropes of his release shoot into you. His body began to tremble and his breath fanned over your skin. "Holy shit." He stuttered. His arms relaxed, allowing you to sit up again.

You ran a gentle hand over his cheek and down his side while your mouth placed soft kisses to his jaw line and shoulder, soothing the trembling man underneath you.

"I never thought I’d feel like that again." He chuckled, running a warm palm down your thigh towards your ass. “I almost forgot how good it feels.”

"Well, I'll be here whenever you need a reminder." You teased him, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.

He gripped the back of your neck and pulled your lips to his, smiling as he kissed you. "I think you might need to remind me again, I’ve already forgotten.”

MARCUS TAGLIST: @artsymaddie @apples-of-february @anetteaneta @supernovafeather @phoenixhalliwell

GENERAL TAGLIST: @softly-sad @autumnleaves1991-blog @over300books

#marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x y/n #marcus moreno smut #hai writes #IM SORRY MOM

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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Heey, first of all yeeah to 500 followers!! You deserve them 🎉 I was wondering if you still do the celebration and could write something for #2 neck kisses with Tom. Thanks and have an awesome day 😊

so sorry but i completely lost this in my inbox so sorry its so late!!!! also this is kinda a Father’s Day one too (except im half a week too late but hey ho)

summary: soon to be dad!tom predicts your babies gender

kissing prompts 2 = neck kisses

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Your day had been a pretty mundane one. Just a typical Saturday of getting shit done - involving cleaning the bathrooms and then putting a wash on. It was a set of jobs you'd normally share with your fiance, except he had been out golfing all day.

To be fair, he had earned himself the day off. Ever since you'd found out you were pregnant - the boy had barely let you lift a finger. Especially after you'd passed the 24 weeks landmark, now that the baby bump wasn't so much a bump, and more a fucking volcano sprouting out your belly.

For once the British weather was actually pretty decent, meaning you opened all the patio windows to allow the ribbons of golden light to stream into your living room. In your own little world, you stood by the table and hung up baby grows on the airer. Yes, it was a bit early to be laundering the baby's clothes, but both you and Tom couldn't help yourselves. Last week, when you went shopping for Nikki's birthday - instead the both of you had got distracted by the newborn section.

Tom made a quiet entrance into the house, so much so you hadn't noticed the door open as you softly hummed an old Beatles tune whilst reaching for the following soft grey striped onepiece.

He hadn't been in the best mood when walking through the door. The round had not gone his way, he'd ended up 6 shots above his standard handicap whilst Harry had got his PB. Pissed was an understatement - Tom had turned down the pub after, which meant he was absolutely fuming. Instead, he just wanted to come home and have a shower and forget about everything.

All of that kind of melted away though, when he rounded the corner of the hallway - the sight stopping him dead in his tracks.

You, standing side on, your outline a silhouette to the evening sun filtering through the doors. The light effect made you look ethereal, as well as exaggerating your bump evermore. And then you were holding up this tiny looking babygrow in front of you. It was inexplicable but, at that moment, literally nothing else mattered to Tom.

Of course, you eventually caught him staring, a soft smile growing on your face after you'd turned to pick another baby grow up. All it took was that one look for all the tension in his body to fizzle away. Immediately Tom took the steps towards you, hugging you from the back and propping his chin on your shoulder, whilst his hands slipped under your bump.

"Thought you said it was too early to get the baby stuff ready?"? He whisper- chuckled, making you roll your eyes. Because it was his puppy dog eyes begging you to let him by the 12 babygrows the other weekend.

"Shhhhh would you just look how small they are!" You gestured as you shook out another damp babygrow in front of him.

"Just imagine…" Tom spoke very quietly as he reached round you to take the little onsie out of your hands. He then lifted up the hem of your cotton vest top, laying the outfit on your exposed belly. "Someday soon they'll be outside your stomach like this."

The action, of him holding the cotton fabric over your belly, had everything feeling a lot more real all of a sudden. You were seriously going to have a baby.

It made you let out a little gasp, which Tom only chuckled at, pressing himself closer against your back. "You only just realised that love?"

"No I- ooh" You were about to violently defend yourself from Tom's laughter, except you were distracted by a slightly uncomfortable pressure on your stomach. Instantly you moved your hand over Tom's and pressed down on the area, so Tom could feel the little butterfly kicking through the babygrow.

"I think baby likes her outfit" You giggled, whilst now it was Tom's turn to hold in an unconscious breath. He slowly pressed around the outline of the protruding limb, which your baby kept returning as if high-fiving him.

"Oh my god she just fist-bumped me!"

"Or he!!!" You laughed, shaking your head against the top of his.

"Nah it's a girl I can sense it." He whispered, though very much not concentrating on anything except the little game he played with the baby in your stomach.

"Spidey sense?"

"Nope… special dad instincts." This time he spoke against your jaw, before peppering your bone with short pecks. "Mhm…." Tom spoke as he worked his way downward, poking his nose in the crook of your neck "I love my girls so much."

"Or boy!" You indignantly interjected, earning you a huff from Tom as he stayed softly nipping the sensitive skin just above your collarbone.

He was attempting to get you lost in the feeling, and boy was it also it working. Letting your head loll to the side to give him better access, you exhaled deeply, bringing your right hand round the back of both of you to trail through his brown curls. He was still a little sweaty from spending all evening in the summer sun- which reminded you.

"How was golf, by the way?" All you received was a mumbled 'doesn't matter' back, which in itself answered your question very well.

"That means you lost?" Giggling at his schoolboy attitude to defeat, Tom groaned, then even harder when you spun in his hold, so now you were facing each other - his hands still holding the baby grow on your bump between the both of you. This way you could see him, and he wasn't ever able to hide anything when your innocent gaze was on him.

"-sn't my fault" He pouted, big brown eyes looking so profoundly at you that some might even find the intensity scary. "My club broke anyway, so it wasn't a fair game."

That made you cock your head to the side. Really? A club just spontaneously breaking? You'd seen the bank statements; you knew how bloody much Tom invested into his club collection. They definitely shouldn't e flimsy and snapping spontaneously at their price point.

"The club broke orrr you broke the club?"

"The club was involved in an unfortunate accident; a tree collided with it."

You had to laugh at how Tom explained how he had taken his anger out on a tree. Tom returned your humour with an eye roll - not much enjoying being caught out.

It didn't last long, though, as and harsh jab interrupted you with an 'ooof'. It came from inside you and even Tom winced at how hard the little munchkin inside you kicked your side, right over where Tom's hands were resting.

"I think that's baby's way of telling you off for having a temper tantrum." Once recovered, you had to grin again, rubbing the skin with Tom's hand to ease the subsiding ache.

"Is it not too early for her to realise exactly who's in charge?" He grumbled, referring to the fact that you both knew Tom was wrapped around yours and soon to be babies fingers.

"Or him!".

To shut you up, Tom finally gave you the welcome home kiss, still with his hands holding the babygrow on your bump. Excited, if terrified, to be yours and your baby's bitch boy for the rest of his life.

~~~~let me know what you think, recently been finding acc writing v difficult so sorry if this aint great~~~~~~

taglist: @crossyourpeter@euphorichxlland@hallecarey1@hollandfanficlove@hollandlover19@hunnybunimdun@lovehollandy12@msmimimerton@pandaxnienke@fernandasantana @thegirlwiththeimpala

#tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #dad!tom

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huffle-dork · 3 years

Text

Curiosity Killed the Cat: Chapter 10

What Swallows the Light

Chapter 9: [x] Read from the beginning: [x]

(AN: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HATE THAT WRITING IS SO HARD FOR ME RN AHHH I LOVE Y’ALL THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THIS- THE END IS NEAR!! LIkE MAYBE 3-4 MORE CHAPTERS!! EEEEE!!)

The boys regrouped at Chase’s studio- exhausted and spent but determined to look for Marvin using any means necessary. Well… most of them.

Jackie was desperate- desperate to do anything but resort to Jameson’s suggestion… he was not ready to face Phantom again.

His limbs still ached from the abuse he suffered at the hand of the mad conman. But, he wasn’t scared. Superheroes don’t get scared.

Chase groaned loudly and flopped his weight onto the back of the couch. “Jackie, c’monnn! We’re getting nowhere with all this!” He gestures to the collection of trackers and electronic devices Jackie’s collected- all beeping or malfunctioning. “Marvin knows you too well man! He’s probably using some freaky magic shit to block himself!”

Jackie grumbled and refused to acknowledge Chase, stubbornly tapping on the tablet he was trying to program. When it refuses to work, he suddenly yells in frustration and throws the thing hard against the wall. It cracks through the surface- the screen shattered and sparking. The hero then grips his hair and suppresses an even louder yell.

Schneep and Jameson exchange worried looks with each other. The doctor tries to speak up,” Jackie-”

“Shut up! I know!” The hero hisses through clenched teeth. “I know this isn’t working! But there has to be something! Something we’re missing.. Something that doesn’t involve-!” He seems to choke slightly, swallowing thickly.

A static laced laugh breaks the tense silence as Anti- who’s splayed across one of the couches like a lazy cat- finally speaks. “Woowww Spandex- it’s so rare to see you so scared shitless-”

Jackie turns to shout at the glitch, his eyes burning with blue power. “Shut the fuck up, you lazy bitch! I ain’t scared-”

“Righttt and the refusal to just- go do the easy thing and see the guy who might actually have the answers to whiskers’ problem is…? What? A super secret strategy of yours? Stubbornness? Stupidity? You are good at that last one-”

Chase has to grab Jackie and hold him back as the hero almost throws himself at the glitch to strangle him. Anti laughs madly, the air around him fizzling with glitches and static.

“Someone’s gotta length your fuse big guy! Hate to see what’ll happen when you finally explode~” Anti’s eyes darken to pits. “Then again… maybe it’ll be fun to watch~!”

“Anti for the love of god- stop antagonizing him!” Jameson huffs in exasperation, making sure his speech slide appears in right in front of Anti’s face so he can’t ignore it. Anti simply laughs and pushes it away- but luckily he doesn’t push the hero anymore.

The others look to Jackie with sympathetic faces. The hero shoves Chase off him with his elbow before looking away, clearly conflicted.

Schneep coughs then carefully walks up to Jackie, using his quiet bedside manner voice, “Jackie… we all know you are… hesitant. About seeing Phantom again. But we also cannot waste our time… we do not know what Marvin could be doing to Jack right of now.” Jackie cringes slightly at this, anxiously starting to pick at the skin beneath his gloves. Schneep looks to his brother with kind and worried eyes. He steps closer and gently places a hand on his then whispers to him low. “It is okay to be scared, you know.” The doctor’s eyes shift to the lounging glitch and Jackie can see the spark of fear in his eyes. “We all understand… but- you cannot let your fears keep you from moving forward, yes?” He squeezes the older brother’s hand tighter, “We all need to work together to stop this… you will not face this alone. And we do not think lesser of you for it.”

Jackie is quiet for a beat- but slowly he nods. He meets Schneep’s eyes and smiles softly. “Thanks Hen…”

Then he sighs and squares his chest before addressing the rest of the room.

“Alright… time to go pay Phantom a visit.”

The door to the tackily clad Phantom’s emporium opened effortlessly with a little bell. The egos all walk in-and are greeted with a dark and abandoned shop.

“It’s awful dark in here…” Jameson comments, his speech slide adding a small burst of light.

Chase squints and whistles under his breath, “Yeah- jesus… you’d think the guy could afford more lights in this creepy-as-fuck shop-”

He then shouts and suddenly falls to the floor.

There’s the sound of glitchy laughter from Jameson’s phone while Schneep digs out his and turns on the flashlight.

“Mein gott Chase- are you okay?”

There’s a groan as Chase pushes himself up and rubs at his head,” Y-Yeah- Yeah I’m okay- I just stepped on something-”

Suddenly there’s the sound of muffled yelling that has all the boys turning to look at the floor. “N-No way…” Jackie gasps as he goes to inspect the object, then he brings it up for the other boys to see. It’s one of phantom’s crystal orbs- only it’s occupied by the con artist himself and his brother, Mare. Mare is kneeling, one hand knocking against the glass while the other cradles a pale and spent looking Phantom.

Schneep’s eyes widen, “wh- how… how did this happen?” He whispers in disbelief. Jameson is covering up his mouth. Chase is massaging his calf before he looks up and yells, “Woah!”

Mare inside the orb scowls and knocks against the glass again. There’s a large crack on its side- like it might have been smashed against a corner of something. “Would you stop gawking and help us?!”

Jackie’s face falls slightly. Even if these guys were villains… this wasn’t right. So he nods and goes to try to smash the orb on the ground.

But quickly, Schneep yelps and goes to stop Jackie. “Wait!”

Jackie blinks in confusion and Schneep breathes before whispering to his brother, “Let’s… let's think this through, Jackieboy- if we free them now… we might not get the information we need.”

The doctor raises an eyebrow at Jackie and it slowly dawns on the hero. Jackie hisses back low to Henrik, “You want us to use their imprisonment to get info on Marvin?” His eyes glow slightly, “That’s not right, Schneep!”

Schneep pushes back against Jackie and whispers back, “If we do not- they will just poof away and will not get the info we need to save Marvin! Do you want to help him or not?!”

Jackie’s mouth opens and closes before he scowls and looks away. Schneep tries to hide a triumphant smirk. He then takes the orb from Jackie’s palm and holds it out before announcing, “We will release you… but only if you swear to tell us everything you know about what is happening to Marvin. If you do not and try to escape… we will treat you as the criminals you are and take the actions necessary to put you both back in jail.” Mare rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah, stiff- whatever! Just get us out of here! My brother is fucking dying!”

Jackie and Schneep make eye contact before the doctor gives the okay. Jackie readies to smash the orb on the floor-But Jamie quickly stops him. He then signs, “Perhaps I can offer some assistance?”

The hero looks confused but he offers the ball to Jameson regardless. The gentleman smiles in appreciation then holds both his hands over the glass. He closes his eyes and focuses- teal light travels up the glass and coats the orb. Then, a flash of teal light rockets across to the empty space in the room and from the light forms Mare and Phantom in the same position they were in inside the orb.

Chase whistles, “Nice work J! ...now we won’t have to step on broken glass!”

Mare takes in a deep breath and looks over his extremely pale brother, who is breathing heavily and can barely keep open his dull eyes. He then shoots up to his feet and tries to make it to the back rooms of the shop.

Jackie beats him though and holds out his arms to stop him, his eyes flaring blue. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The dark ego bares his teeth ferally and pushes into Jackie’s face. “Out of my fucking way. Hero! You might not care but we were in there for a week! And those orbs absorb magic- it’s been sucking my brother dry for days! So- if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna get him something to make sure he’s alive for your fucking interrogation- is that okay with you?!”

The red hooded hero stands speechless and just steps aside, letting his arms fall as he nods. Mare doesn’t waste a second to rush past him.

There’s the sound of rustling and glass bottles hitting the floor before NateMare rushes back out and skids on his knees to be back by Phantom’s side. He cradles the other figment’s head and gently lowers a bright red glowing potion to his lips. The second the liquid meets his lips, Phantom’s eyes shoot open and glow red as he gasps. His back arches and he almost seems like he’s in pain but Mare just holds on tighter and dumps the rest of the potion into his mouth.

“I know…” He whispers, “Just- hold on, okay Phan? This will help, I promise…”

The other egos watch with bated breath.

Eventually the last drop falls into Phantom’s mouth and Mare takes the bottle away. Phantom pants like a man dehydrated finally offered a drink. His eyes burn red and for a second it seems like nothing happened. Then, the red blooms on his skin- in his veins, and travels across his body. The demon shudders and grits his teeth but as the magic flows, his pallor returning to normal. Finally, he sags in Mare’s grip and starts to breathe at a more regular pace. He weakly smiles up to his brother. They don’t exchange words, just simple nods but… it seems like Phantom was trying to say thank you. Phantom then turns and seems to remember they have company. He sighs and groans as he pushes himself up. He’s a bit unsteady but soon he’s standing tall again. He opens up his palm and from the ground, his staff comes rushing out and into his grip. He spins it then slams it to the ground to lean on. He eyes the company of Septic egos as he pushes back his hair.

“Forgive my… haggard appearance. Your brother… managed to do quite a number on me.”

“So, you know what happened to him? He was here?” Jackie asks eagerly. Phantom raises a hand to silence him.

“I will answer all your questions… but only if you let Mare go to rest. He does not have any answers for you and... He hasn’t been able to eat or drink since we were imprisoned… I did what I could but.. I survive on magic. He does not.”

The egos look at each other before nodding in understanding. Phantom nods to his brother, “Go. I’ll check up on you later.”

Mare seems hesitant to leave- but after a stern look from his brother he purses his lips but retreats to the back rooms regardless.

Jackie quickly pipes back up as soon as the curtains close behind him, “So- Marvin? He was here?”

Phantom nods, “Yes, he was here. He was the one who trapped us.” He then looks to Jackie and raises an eyebrow, “Said the act was… what you would call Justice.” He then shrugs and sighs, going to fall against one of the armchairs in the room. “Which I guess is fair-”

The hero’s gaze hardens as he hisses, “He doesn’t speak for me. I wouldn’t have done something like that.”

The red demon raises his head in slight surprise, then he smirks, “Oh~ I sense a bit of in-fighting?”

The air in the room gets tense as all the egos shuffle and cough. “Uh.. you could definitely say that-” Chase mutters.

Phantom hums and goes to lean forward in his chair, tapping his fingers against his orb. “...I already had my suspicions… and since you all are here for answers… why don’t you fill me in on what mischief my darling little apprentice has gotten himself into?”

“Don’t call him that-” A speech slide darts in front of Phantom’s vision followed by a serious looking Jameson. He frowns and pops up another slide once he’s gotten Phantom’s attention, “He is not yours. Not anymore.”

The demon blinks then chuckles and shakes his head, “I suppose you’re right, Jackson.”

Suddenly, the air turns electric as a groan of annoyance sounds from Jameson’s phone. Glitches fly out of his pocket and soon Anti’s fizzly form splays across one of the couches as he throws out his limbs in exasperation. “Jesus christ yall can blabber! Can we get on with this already?! Or need I remind you kitten whiskers literally has all our lives on the line?!”

Phantom jumps and somewhat curls up in his chair, trying to hide the fear in his eyes. “...w...what is he doing here?”

Anti blinks then grins wolfishly at Phantom, “Well hello to you too pretty boy- still not over our last encounter I see?” He laughs madly.

Jackie sighs then points to Anti with his thumb, “He’s the start of this whole thing. Plus… Marvin is targeting him.”

This peaks the con-man’s interest. He knits his eyebrows together and gathers his composure, leaning all his weight on his staff and linking his fingers. “...Enlighten me.”

The Septic egos then take their time to explain everything: Anti’s kidnapping of Marvin. The state of Jack. Marvin’s memory loss- his behavior after being rescued. How all that changed suddenly. His manipulation of Jameson. The book- the nighttime encounter in Jackie’s apartment. Jackie and Marvin’s fight. The criminals he killed. The veins and purple magic and eyes- the smoke that seemed to coat everything black. The hospital… how Marvin took Jack. Phantom listens intently. After they’re done he sighs and brushes back in his hair, looking towards the bookshelf behind him. “..it’s as I feared.”

He looks over the boys then stands up to address them, “... this time I am not the source of Marvin’s problem. In fact… I fear the problem may have sprouted from inside him.”

“What?” Henrik asks, “What does that mean?”

“Yeah- this… this doesn’t seem like Marvin’s magic at all! He.. he’s good! That’s how Jack made him- so how could this come from him?” Jackie shouts, looking angry.

Phantom holds up a hand to silence them. “I’m not saying this just happened randomly… but you must know this. Magic deals in absolutes.”

He then holds his hand over his orb and starts to dance his fingers in the air over it. White light comes from the orb and starts to dance in the air.

“In our world- Light magic is the prominent force. All magic stems from it. Because typically, magic is used to help or heal. Like… superpowers. They are a form of light magic. When magic first began… it was only used for good. However, humanity is selfish. And with selfishness comes the other side of magic… dark magic… black magic. Black magic is an invader- it was not made to exist here. But- through selfish desires and evil intentions it entered into our world. And… black magic is not like the light. It is constantly hungry- because it knows it does not belong here. It seeks to devour all sources of light and life. Even it’s users… it either devours them whole- or uses them to draw more people into darkness.”

Anti rolls his eyes, “Alright Merlin, thanks for the magic lesson. What’s all this bullshit gotta do with this?”

Phantom huffs and grips his staff, “I’m getting to that. But since you so kindly interrupted me, I’ll be blunt with you.” He points his staff at Anti. “You, glitch, are the catalyst for Marvin’s transformation.”

The glitch sputters, his form buzzing with static as he sits up, “What the fuck?! How is this my fault- I didn’t do anything to whisker’s magic! I’m not even magic myself!”

Phantom laughs and shakes his head, “All figments are filled with some form of magic. Or we wouldn’t exist.

But that’s besides the point for now. Remind me again, Anti, what is it you had Marvin do while in your capture?”

All the egos turn cold eyes on Anti. The glitch almost looks guilty as he crosses his arms and looks away from his audience. “I… forced him to put Jack to sleep.” Then he shakes his head and throws out his hands, “But that’s it! I didn’t touch him- I didn’t possess him or corrupt him or anything!”

Phantom nods and floats fingers through the white light still floating in the air. “Perhaps you didn’t… but you provided the spark.”

He opens his arms to the light, “Pretend if you will- this is Marvin’s core. His center of magic- his soul. Jackie mentioned earlier- your creator made Marvin to be good. So- that’s what his core is. A source of light magic.”

He then snaps and a pure black flame ignites on his fingertip. “Now- if I add a spark of black magic…” He lowers the black flame into the white light.

The light almost instantly begins to be eaten by the black. The black spears through the light like a hungry predator until all that’s left floating in the air in a bubble of black, sparking with purple power.

The septics watch with horror.

“...that’s... what's happening to Marvin?” Chase asks in a small voice.

“...it is a slower process but yes.” Phantom nods. He leans back into his chair and snaps the magic out of the air.

“Since Marvin’s core is good, any type of spell that goes against his nature could possibly change his entire magical alignment. What most likely happened is… whatever spell he used on Jack was enough to spark a dark magic takeover.”

“...But- Marvin has used darker magic before.” Jameson points out, “**Like when he’s been possessed by Antisepticeye- or… his last encounter with you. How come that didn’t trigger his magic to change?” **

Phantom hums with a smile, “A good question, Jackson. While under possession, Marvin’s magic is not entirely his own. When under my control- I fueled him with my own magic. It’s like… dye in water. It can leave the water stained sure- but eventually it will return to what it was because of the constant flow. Magic is fueled by the soul- so as long as Marvin is alive, his magic refuels itself. So even if it was changed momentarily by an outside source- it should go back to what his core was.”

“...the community-” Anti suddenly mumbles. Everyone looks to him with curiosity.

“...yes, Anti?” Phantom raises an eyebrow.

The glitch scowls then turns to face the other demon. “Jack’s community. Does that count as an outside source? Because I swear that Magician’s purpose has been flip-flopping around so much because they can’t make up their goddamn minds on what side he should be on. All this magic bullshit- does it really matter when Jack and the community has so much pull on our characters?”

The air is silent while the room takes in this information. Phantom smiles and leans back. “Hm- I can’t say for certain… though me and Mare are influenced by our community as well- each figments story is different. Me and Mare were made to be evil so… there’s not much we can do to change that.”

He then points his staff at some of the septics, partially Jameson and Schneep. “However- that is why I’ve found you septics so… fascinating. Even if Jack made you one way… the fandom can change you. Like how our beloved Doctor was once considered to be on the Glitch’s side… or how Mr. Jackson seemed to be free of corruption because of the fandom’s love… until it was revealed he was a puppet all along.”

Schneep nervously rubs his neck and looks away, shuddering at the memories from that time. “...that… I..I do remember… being changed by them. Forced to be someone else… until Jack set the record straight.”

Jamie is silent, playing with his hands and looking at the ground. His wrists hidden under his sleeves- his strings out of sight. Phantom smiles to himself, “That’s why I’ve always been so fascinated by my Magnificent… he’s so easily swayed. His alignment is so back and forth. He could be anything. He could become anyone.”

“Okay so- why isn’t this they’re fault, magic man?” Anti suddenly sneers, “Why isn’t this debacle their fault?! They almost have as much power as Jack does! Why aren’t they responsible?”

Phantom scratches his chin and taps his specter thoughtfully, “...I don’t think we can rule out their influence entirely. But… Marvin hasn’t been the star of the show for a quite a long time, yes? So… a change this sudden could only be explained by new lore from Jack. and… since he’s asleep.” The demon looks pointedly at Anti and raises an eyebrow. Anti grumbles and folds his arms again, sinking into the couch.

Jackie sighs and sits down, holding out his hands, “Okay so- let’s recap… because Anti made Marvin put Jack to sleep- that magic he used started to change his core. It went from light magic to black magic because black magic is a greedy bastard- so it’s changing Marvin… which is why he… he did all the things he did… right?”

The red clad demon nods, “Correct. Since the magic is an invader… one could say it’s possessing your brother. But- it won’t take much for it to grab control and change him permanently. He was already starting… what he was doing to those thugs is classic black magic. Feeding off life forces helps to fuel the black magic even faster. There’s nothing more selfish or evil than taking a life. ...Marvin’s actions might not entirely be his own- this all could be the black magic working to take over Marvin’s core faster. Especially since he did not choose to use that magic that sparked this in the first place… It’s manipulating him.”

Jackie seems to light up slightly. He smiles to himself and whispers, “...i..I knew it- I knew this couldn’t be Marvin… not really.”

“So what can we do to stop this? To save him?” Chase brings up. “We gotta stop him before this thing eats him- or Jack!”

Phantom is quiet for a second before sighing, “...that.. I do not know.”

“What?!” Jackie exclaims as he jumps to his feet, eyes burning. “You- You know all of this but you don’t know how to save him?! What the fuck?!”

The demon just raises an eyebrow, “Hero. I collect souls to survive. My core thrives off dark magic. I may know how it works… but I don’t know how to stop the process.” He then sighs and looks around. “I can give you advice though… that book. He stole it from me. It is a source of black magic itself- and it reacts to the user. It will do anything in its power to keep Marvin reliant on its spells. It will only hasten his corruption so… try to keep it away from him. Seal it away… it can’t be destroyed except by the purest of light magic.

Also- beware him collecting a large group of people. The magic inside him is going to be looking for the largest amount of souls it can corrupt. And… if he succeeds…. It will be too late. Your brother will be consumed. And they’ll be no going back.”

The air grows heavy at this news and the others exchange worried glances. The con-man watches before rising to his feet. “I’ve given you all the information I can… I would use it quickly if you want to save Marvin. Every second wasted is him getting closer to being consumed.”

The others look at each other then nod. “Alright… thank you Phantom.”

“As promised… we will not bother you and Natemare.” Schneep adds, adjusting his coat as he gets to his feet. He gestures to the others and starts to head for the door. Anti watches from the couch, seeming to be deep in thought.

Before Jackie can join the others however, Phantom lightly grabs his wrist to stop him. The hero looks back with confusion. The dark magician looks… almost bashful. He opens and closes his mouth several times before whispering out in sincerity, “... I know there is a lot at stake but… please Jackieboy… save my Magnificent.”

Jackie balks at this- then slowly his eyes start to burn with anger. He throws Phantom’s hand off him and grabs the figment by his vest and throws him against one of the pillars making up the walls.

“Are you fucking serious?! Your magnificent?! He isn’t your property asshole! After all of this- after all he’s been through you still think you get to stand here and be selfish?! To think about how you’re going to use him next?! If you so much as breathe near him again I swear to god i’ll-!”

Phantom just sits there and takes it- looking Jackie in the face. Jackie pants and growls, pushing Phantom more up against the wall when words fail him. The demon winces then opens one eye to look at Jackie.

“Are you done? Can i say my piece now?”

Jackie bares his teeth, ‘What could you possibly have to say to that? Gonna manipulate me with your fucking smoke to make me think you were in the right all this time? That you were helping him? That you ever cared for him at all as an apprentice?!”

“I DID CARE!” Phantom suddenly shouts, pushing back in Jackie’s face and blasting out enough magic to get Jackie to let go. Jackie stumbles back and narrows his eyes at Phantom as the demon dusts himself off and straightens his vest.

“...or… I do care. ...I think-” He sighs and lowers his gaze to the hero. “...I’m not like you and your family, Jackie. I wasn’t made to be good. I was made to manipulate and to steal. To trick. So… of course that was my purpose when I first took your brother in all those years ago…

However, despite my nature… i believe I developed a… soft spot for him. I… didn’t know how to interpret those feelings. I thought it was a need to fully control him- to make him mine. But… even that wasn’t enough. I couldn’t understand.”

He then sighs and picks his specter off the ground, going to twist it thoughtfully between his fingers. “But… all that time spent in that orb… enduring the same thing I made him endure… I was able to think. ...to maybe realize it was more than that need of control. That… maybe- the very small part of me that’s human… maybe that part actually cared for him. ...like how I care for Mare.”

Jackie’s hard expression softens slightly, looking to Phantom in confusion. The demon doesn’t meet his eyes as he chuckles bitterly.

“...I fought it for a while but… he was different than my other cons. He was… the first one just like me. A fellow figment just...looking for a place in the world. Of course… my purpose had to be fulfilled… a creation can’t deny its reason for existing. But… for a while… I couldn’t. Not to him. Maybe that’s why it took me so many years to finally hunt him down…”

He shakes his head then ventures to his bookshelf, going to open a small ornate chest. He digs inside then pulls out a white object and holds it in his hands while turned away from Jackie, rubbing his fingers against the surface.

“You know… there’s one thing I know about light magic… why you heroes and goody-two-shoes always best us in the end.” He laughs and turns to Jackie, handing the item to him.

It’s a blank white cat mask.

Jackie’s eyes widen as he takes it and then he looks to Phantom, who’s smiling bitterly.

“...it’s your ability to be positive. To believe in each other. To have things and memories that… keep the darkness away. ...perhaps that can help you.”

The demon looks to the ceiling almost wistfully, “I know… anything involved with me is tainted now. And… Marvin will never want anything to do with me again. I’m.. okay with that. But… maybe that mask… can remind him of when magic was good to him. When his love for magic was pure and child-like… perhaps it can save him from the dark.”

Jackie is speechless once again. He looks down at the mask and rubs his thumb against the edge. He can imagine Marvin when he first met him- when he first took off his distrustful shell and started to open up. How happy and mischievous and carefree he was. Did he actually feel that way with Phantom once?

“...you really do care about him..” Jackie pipes up quietly. Phantom smiles and shrugs.

“...I can’t say for sure. But… i do hope you save him. Really…” He sighs and looks back to Jackie seriously, “If he survives… I will leave him be. I will not hunt him down again… I will consider all his debts paid.”

Jackie’s eyebrows raise in surprise. Then, he laughs slightly and puts the mask in his backpack. He straightens the straps and turns to go- but not before giving one last look to Phantom.

“Hey- maybe there’s a little light in you after all Phantom.”

Phantom snorts, “Don’t get mushy on me, hero. You’ll make me more sick than I already am.”

Jackie laughs and shrugs, “Fair enough. Well… thanks.”

“Just get out of here, Jackieboy- don’t waste what little time you have with pleasantries.” Phantom grumbles, going to head towards the back room. “And… good luck.”

The hero nods and grins before hurrying out of the store and back into daylight.

However, he’s quickly met with a panicking Schneep and Chase who are on him in a second.

“Jackie! Oh god- oh shit this is bad!” Chase whimpers.

“What? What happened? What’s wrong??”

Schneep meets Jackie’s eyes, his own filled with fear.

“...Anti has disappeared. And he took Jameson with him.”

“...son of a bitch-?!”

46 notes · View notes

junicai · 3 years

Text

boil over.

| summary | Aria gives Jaemin some tough love (and then hugs)

| word count | 2.1k

| warnings | 1 (one) curse word

| era | circa. 2017, Jaemin’s hiatus

29. “NO! You can’t get up, you’re my prisoner for today.”

40. “Get out.”

a/n: anon i am so sorry. u said it would be funny i - it took a turn and i couldnt save it im so sorry

“Nana?”

Aria knocked gently on Jaemin’s closed bedroom door with one hand, rapping her knuckles against the dark wood while her other hand balanced a plate in her palm precariously.

There was no response heard through the door, and Aria frowned. She raised her fist again, knocking once again. “Jaemin? You asleep?”

A low groan sounded this time, and Aria could hear the rustling of his bed sheets.

“Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaemin’s voice was rough with unuse, petulant to the point where Aria could hear the pout she knew he was donning in his tone.

“Too bad,” Aria shrugged, hand pressing the door handle open regardless, “Please don’t be naked.”

A spluttered sound came from inside the room when Aria pushed open the door, eyes trained on the ground. Stepping inside, the door closed behind her with a soft click and she heard the tell-tale rustle of Jaemin’s bedsheets that he was trying to adjust himself into a sitting position.

“Nana,” Aria scolded, turning briefly to place the plate down on the desk on the opposite side of the room before crossing the floor in three quick strides to make it to Jaemin’s bedside. Her hands reached out to help him lift himself but stopped in mid-air when a glare was sent her way.

“Get out.”

Aria could tell the words were meant to be cold, but they just came out petulant when accompanied by the slight whine Jaemin let out immediately following another attempt to push himself upright.

“Oh shush,” Aria muttered, hands slipping underneath the sheet to place one on the small of his back and using the other to press his shoulders up. Slowly, Jaemin shuffled into a more sitting-like position, back pillowed up by several pillows that had been gathered onto his bed from around the dorm.

The Dreamies had banded together and collected what pillows they could spare - Jisung offering both pillows from his bed until Jeno reminded him that he actually needed one of those if he didn’t want to have neck pain every single morning for the foreseeable future.

Stepping back from Jaemin, Aria placed her hands on her hips, eyebrow cocked at the boy who laid sheepishly in his bed, covers tucked underneath his chin.

“How’re you feeling?” Aria asked.

“I’m alright,” Jaemin said, dismissing her with a shrug.

“So. Do you want to explain why you’ve spent the last two weeks moping in your bedroom and I had to find out about it after coming back from practice today? Or shall I find Injunnie and let him explain?” Aria said, head tilted to the left.

Jaemin’s eyes fell away from Aria’s face, suddenly finding interest in the pattern-less sheets that covered his bed. His fingers played with the off-white material while his teeth nibbled on his bottom lip.

Aria let out a sigh, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. It sank slightly underneath her weight, and Aria shuffled backwards so she was sitting comfortably.

“Nana, it’s ok. It sucks. I know.”

“Do you?”

Aria looked up surprised, eyebrows furrowing as she looked at Jaemin’s face. There were deep purple rings beneath his eyes but his skin was clearer; the lack of make-up was doing him good. Slightly thinner - the look all of them get when they’d been too busy to find time to eat a meal. By the plate on the floor beside his bed, still with a good deal of food on it - Aria wasn’t sure if it was the lack of time or the lack of desire.

He looked tired, but also ticked, like something she’d said had rubbed him the wrong way.

“I don’t think you do.” Jaemin’s voice wasn’t angry, but his words held weight to them regardless.

Aria sat back slightly, taken aback by the sudden change of tone. “What-”

“I don’t think you understand this at all,” Jaemin interrupted her, pushing himself further upright with another small wince. “I don’t think a single person understands what its like to be told, a year after debuting that I’m going to have to take a six month or more hiatus. I don’t think you understand that I’m sitting her, watching you all go to practice and learn new dance routines and promote; and I’m being left behind. I don’t think you get the fact that it feels like I’ve been gut punched, and then told to walk it off!”

“Nana no that’s not what’s happening-”

“It is! It is what’s happening and you’re lying to me when you say it’s not. Its like trainee days but worse because I can’t even go to the practice room. Hell, I can’t even go home because the company doesn’t want me seen outside. So I’m stuck here, alone, no one else in the dorms for the most part of the day, can’t go see my family like you normally can on a hiatus, can’t do anything except sit here and be useless! Do you know what that’s like? I can’t see my parents, I can’t practice, I can’t do what I trained to do for years and you’re telling me that you understand? Bullshit.” Jaemin was yelling now, all the words that had been building up exploding on the wrong person.

Aria felt her teeth break the skin of her lip.

“So,forgive me, for staying in my room all day. I just didn’t fancy having to drag you all away from practice to make sure I didn’t fall over myself on the way to the bathroom.” With a resounding bite in his words, Jaemin settled himself against the pillow again.

It seemed like the conversation was over, Jaemin with his gaze fixed downwards on his extended legs. Aria kept her eyes upwards, blinking rapidly. But the fact that they were both still sitting in silence made the atmosphere fill up with tension like a bubbling pot that was half an inch away from an overflow.

Jaemin had his hands folded in his lap, fingers toying with the unravelling string on the hem of his t-shirt as he refused to look back up.

The pot boiled.

“I’m sorry.”

That, was not what he was expecting.

“I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me. You’re right, I don’t know what it feels like.”

Suddenly, Jaemin was simultaneously infinitely grateful and incredibly disappointed that it was Aria whom he was having this conversation with.

Had it been Donghyuck, he could only imagine the screaming match it would have turned into. Donghyuck was always quick to lose his cool when someone was being uncooperative, and Jaemin was looking to get a rise out of someone. It wasn’t even that Jaemin was unwilling to talk to them anymore, it was the fact that he insinuated the fact that they didn’t care about him? Donghyuck would have brought the walls down; and Jaemin doesn’t know if that’s something he craved at this moment or not.

Renjun would have simply turned around and left the second Jaemin got huffy - the older boy had minimal patience for things like this, and liked to remove himself from the situation before he said something he would regret.

Aria, on the other hand, would sit there and let Jaemin yell at her for however long he needed to with her head bowed and hands in her lap. She wouldn’t yell back, wouldn’t rise to meet his anger but would sit there calmly until it fizzled out like a candle wick burned down to the end, wax spilling over slowly until it hardened and became stagnant once more.

Jaemin didn’t think he really wanted to yell; not anymore.

Aria still wasn’t looking at him, choosing instead to focus her gaze on the top of his headboard. Her eyes were darting back and forth slightly, like she wanted to look down at him but kept thinking better of it.

“I don’t know what it feels like, but what I do know is that it’s not going to get better if you hole yourself up in a room for six months,” Aria explained, hands curling into fists.

“The only thing you’re doing is making it worse, Nana. So so much worse for yourself - we don’t care about having to help you do things, we don’t care about being a few minutes late to practice because you needed something from the kitchen and just couldn’t face getting up again; we don’t care. And I need you to look at me right now and tell me you understand that.”

Jaemin looked at her.

“We don’t care,” Aria spoke softer now. “What we care about is the fact that you’re in pain right now, and we care about what we can do to help you fix that.”

Jaemin let his face scrunch up, a retort forming on the tip of his tongue.

“There’s no shame in asking for help, Jaemin.”

Jaemin sunk, boneless, into the pillows supporting him - a crack being multiplied by ten and suddenly shattering. The pot boiled, spilling over the sides and splashing down. Tears spilled over Jaemin’s cheeks, shoulders shaking as a fist was shoved into his mouth to stop himself from making a sound.

“Oh, Nana,” Aria’s voice was saddened, a deep blue colour as she moved to lie beside Jaemin on the bed while being careful not to jostle the boy. “Please don’t cry, it’s okay.”

Jaemin only cried harder, teeth making indents in his skin until his hand was puled gently but insistently from his mouth and was being held in Aria’s hands. With no muffler there, a sob ripped itself from his chest and he choked at the force of it.

Aria only moved closer, pushing herself up the bed slightly to allow Jaemin to hide his face in her chest as he cried.

Jaemin shook through his cries, Aria running a hand through his hair the entire time. It was knotted, like he hadn’t brushed through it in a few days and she made a note to bring in one of their hairbrushes later on when he was asleep.

Slowly, his sobs petered out into small sniffles, Aria’s shirt soaked through but she paid no mind to the wet material sticking to her skin. Her back ached slightly from the odd position she had forced herself into to ensure that Jaemin wouldn’t be twisted uncomfortably.

Jaemin’s breaths evened out again over the next ten minutes or so, eventually to the point that Aria was sure that the boy had fallen asleep until he shifted slightly to look up at her from his position lying on her chest.

His red eyes were stark against his pale skin, and Aria never thought she’d be jealous of how prettily someone cried and yet here she was.

Jaemin rubbed at his nose slightly with the corner of his sheet, sniffling and then sneezing when the loose ends tickled his nose. He let out a watery laugh, throat clogged slightly and he cleared it when Aria began to smile despite herself.

He choked out another weak laugh before pressing himself back into Aria’s side.

The air stilled around them, the pot taken off the heat and now cooling in the aftermath.

Aria kept her hand carding through his hair, letting her other hand move to rub gently at Jaemin’s ear in a soothing gesture now that she didn’t need to keep herself elevated slightly.

Her arms ached, but she paid no mind to it, instead choosing to delicately open their little pocket of serenity.

“You’re so important to us, Nana. You can’t forget that.”

Jaemin declined to respond, instead choosing to hide his face further into the material of Aria’s clothes.

“Even if this hiatus takes seven, or eight months. Or a year. There’s always a place for you in Dream. Always.”

This time Jaemin sniffled, still refusing to speak but let his hand come up from underneath the sheets to intertwine with Aria’s. She squeezed it lightly, holding it tight in her grasp.

They stayed that way for another while, Jaemin slowly falling into sleep while Aria pet his hair.

“Nana,” Aria whispered, moving closer so that he would hear her.

Jaemin made a small hum in acknowledgement.

“I have to go prep dinner for the others, they should be back soon.” Aria apologized.

There was nothing for a second, and then Jaemin was craning up to look back at Aria; eyes wide and sparkling.

“Stay?”

Aria stayed.

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ohbae-me · 3 years

Note

okay so, im about to go ham because i truly stand strong in my shoujo fantasy.

In my opinion, im pretty sure (like 89%) lucifer tells us that whenever mammon breaks off a relationship with someone, they go broke completely after. so hes had previous relationships before, as for the rest of the boys, im pretty sure lucifer has, but nothing serious, he wont let anyone in, MC is literally the only person who has pushed past his walls and seen him for more than pride. satan, 100% he has never had a relationship, levi, has had a couple of fwbs and other relationships but they always fizzle out, never lasting. asmo has never had a serious relationship, always just flings. belphie never had a serious relationship and same with beel. i truly believe MC is their first true loves, i know what youre thinking "theyve been alive for so long, theres no way someone couldnt have been special to them" but the thing is, theyre so different with MC; their entire dynamic and relationships changed with MC, MC saw them for more than their sin and got to know them to their very core, while yes the other relationships never lasted, thats not to say the boys didnt love them; but just not in the way they love MC. i believe MC to be a true love, not just a love, the difference for me is all of the boys would gladly give up chasing MC once she finds herself happy with another brother, instead of forcing them to choose yk? the "as long as youre happy, it kills me everytime i look at you smile at him, but i love you too much to let you be miserable with me" and i dont think any of them have experienced. also, with the whole "new relationship" thing, the honey moon phase, while yes every couple has it, i feel like with MC it would just, last. not to say they wouldnt have fights; ofc they would, but its different with MC, everyday the brothers would wake up and chose the option to love and fall in love all over again, speaking further on that, i dont think any of them would truly get over MC. and i mean that; (i dont think MC is going to die, obey me devs have something planned LOL, plus theyre super powerful, like the other anon said i dont think theyd be able to really function without them, even if they do "get over" mcs death at some point.) after MC dies i feel like the family dynamic wouldnt be the same, the brothers would get quieter and would never truly forget about it? and every relationship would fail because theyre not MC (you dont have to agree but i love reverse harems), like i 100% hc that after MC chooses another brother or after they die, mammon would try and try to find new flings, even after its been decades mammon finds someone whos super similar to MC, their look, personality, etc, but one wrong move and theyre out. (say MC doesnt like pickles, but the replacement for MC does, he would immediately start crying and call mc a stupid human who he shouldnt have fallen for.) anyways in conclusion, i truly dont think MC would ever die canonically in the obey me game, the devs are sneaky (love you devs), but even if they would, i really feel like they would never get truly over it. some part of me truly believes that the brothers would go back to being distant, how they were before. they would sit at the table and eat in silence, asmo would begin partying ten times harder (since we already know he uses his ego to cover up his major insecurity of people not liking him and how he feels about himself) and the brothers would become even more indugled in their sin. also, for every relationship they would have, they would just compare them to MC, and yeah but I cannot see MC dying. the other stuff about what the brothers would be like after MC dies could also be applied to when MC chooses her s/o. i think the brothers would be super fucking hurt, that was their first love, their first understanding who walked out and chose someone who wasnt them. anyways thats all, you dont have to reply i just felt like i needed to get this off of my chest, also im gonna be pretty frequent on your blog ( i love ur writing ) so im gonna call myself cake anon! have a great day! - cake anon

Hello Cake! iluuu! Thanks for this, i really love getting every ones take on these things! And there is defs a lot that i agree with here.

I agree with the Mammon part. Out of all of the brothers, i feel he is probably the easiest to get emotionally attached in a relationship, so i see him as the one with the most previous relationships. Asmo coming in second, but his being mostly flings or poly/open relationships. I’m sure Mammon has had some serious ones as well as many flings, where Asmo’s have never been overly serious and certainly never long lasting. I’m also sure Luci has had a few, some more serious than others, but he wouldn’t get overly attached emotionally. I’m sure he’d be too busy with Diavolo since arriving, being the workaholic he is. I’m sure not many partners would be willing to deal with that level of non-commitment and emotional unavailability from him.Levi I feel like all his relationships never left that awkward early stage, and his only ‘serious’ relationships would have been strictly online, maybe a couple meetups that made him nope right out of it. Satan, again, has probably just gone on some casual dates but didn’t have much interest in actually dating rather than gaining connections. i feel like Beel is the most likely candidate to have had healthy previous relationships. He is pretty well balanced emotionally and has a good outlook on love and family values. I’m sure he’s had a few serious relationships and has dated his share of people. Belphie gives me vibes of had one or two previous serious relationships that did not end well at all and now he’s a salty sob over it lmao.

I still don’t feel like MC is necessarily their first true love, but maybe the first different kind of love for them. MC has reached them in ways no one else has, they don’t try to change anything, they fit in well with the whole family, they understand their sins etc. I have loved a few different people in my life, and each one was such a different experience for me. The first guy i loved, i consider to be my first true love. However, it didn’t work. And then i met the man I eventually married, he wasn’t my first true love, but it was a better kind of love, yk?

And uugghh you ripped my heart out with how the brothers would feel if MC chose a different brother!!!! Because they all would be so heartbroken it’s not them, but they really truly just want mc to be happy and cared for, and they know their brother would keep them safe and provide well.

A few asks ago, i mentioned that the brothers would move on eventually. I think there is a big difference in moving on and getting over that I maybe didn’t articulate very well. If MC were to die or choose someone else, they would move on eventually, but they might not ever really get over it. My heart hurts just thinking about how they would feel trying to move on. Like you mentioned, the empty, quiet dinner tables, lackluster parties and festivals, it would be like they lost their best friend. (i giggled picturing your mammon scenario with the pickle because that’s exactly how he’d react to something so small lmaooo)

I also agree that i don’t think the devs will kill mc off (again), that just seems like a really crappy way to end the game!! I’m curious to see how they would make different routes go if you can only romance one of them end game, vs you being able to have them all? I wonder if we’d get a choice in the whole becoming immortal thing or not?

Sorry if this reply was too long and rambly, i absolutely love discussing these kinds of things!! I always welcome these asks!!!

#obey me #obey me asks #sheptalks #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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imagineabrighterworld · 3 years

Text

Nothin’ On You // Sero x Shy!Reader

A/N: Kinda long! But I owe Sero for taking so long on finishing this! Hope you like it! ^^

The first time you meet is for a school project

In middle school he was the cool guy that got along with pretty much everyone. At first you would hide away, which was easy with a quirk like yours. You would turn translucent and mute according to your mood, so every time you tried to muster up the courage to talk to him when he passed you by in the halls, you would completely disappear. It was a game of chance to see who was paired with who when the fated project came up, but when you were paired with Sero you almost entirely disappeared off of the face of the earth. You begin to wonder if you could escape class without being noticed when he makes his way over and plops down in the seat next to you.

"Name's Hanta Sero, what's yours?"

Your face flushes, body turning translucent for a split second before you take his hand and shake it. "It's..." Your voice fails you. Of course it had to happen now. Your quirk just had to be a two-in-one kind of deal.

Lifting a finger, you scribble your name down on a loose piece of paper and offer it to him.

He looks at the scrap of paper with curiosity. “Cute name.” He looks back to you. “Is that your quirk? The..?” He motions to his body and mouth.

You nod sagely.

He beams. "Nice to meet you."

The tension in your shoulders lessen. Grabbing your textbook and one of your notebooks made for this type of situation, you write down several questions before pointing to the textbook pages.

He reads each message, surprisingly more patient with your quirk than others. Some expected you to push past it or get over your shyness, but he went with it. It made you feel.. valid. Like your quirk wasn't a burden.

“Sounds like we'll be having a few all nighters on this one, Mr. Takeshi expects waaay too much of us if he wants this done in a week.” Sero looks at you curiously. “What do you think? We could do it at one of those 24/7 cafes nearby.”

Feeling yourself relaxing, you realize you've returned to being opaque as you nod in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."

His smile brightens. "Hey, your voice is pretty cute too chica!"

This time you're glad you disappear from sight, hands covering your mouth as he laughs heartily.

The project was an odd success

After your initial shock and shyness of being paired up with Sero, you both were a rather successful couple when it came to academics. You split the work equally and helped each other when either of you needed it. While he wasn't always the brightest, he always managed to put a smile on your face when you were studying long into the night, when your eyelids grew too heavy and your will to study lessened. When the day of the presentation came and you both took to the front of the class, it was his support that kept you from disappearing out of fright. However, now that it was over, you were surprised he still wanted to hang out with you, even if it wasn't required anymore.

“Oi, chiquita bonita! Over here!” Sero waves to you from across the classroom. He was sitting in his normal spot with his usual clique, and normally you didn't mix with them. They seemed nice, but it was always awkward when you joined him. You felt like they only tolerated you because of him.

Gathering your items, you shuffle out of your desk space and join him, blushing slightly as he scoots his seat to the side to make space for you right next to him. You could feel the burning stares of the girls surrounding him. You held on though, focusing on staying opaque, knowing he would try getting to the bottom of why you were nervous. Oh if only he knew how hated you were by his clique of girls.

“We did pretty good on the presentation didn't we?” He asks while draping an arm across the back of your chair, his body completely at ease. “Even the cabrón was impressed.”

You smack him lightly on the back of his head. You didn't know a lot of spanish, if at all, but you picked up some slang from the boy next to you. “Don't be mean Hanta, he's not all that bad.”

The girls’ hiss at your action, but Sero only laughs and tugs you closer under his arm. “Lo siento cariño. I'm sorry, but it's not my fault he has a stick up there.” He gestures upward with his middle finger.

You knew if you tried speaking, your voice would have fizzled out like a drop of water on a hot stove.

After the project you two were nearly inseparable, everyone knew you and Sero were an item (even if you both didn't see it)

“Dios mio! What did we do to earn this princesa?”

You turn around to the source of the voice, pausing on decorating the stage of the auditorium. It was Sero, you could tell immediately by his voice, but what you didn't understand was the context of his words. What was he talking about?

The confusion must have shown on your face as he moves closer and climbs onto the stage, walking up to you until he was by your side. “You're all dolled up. What's the occasion?” He holds you by the shoulders and peers behind you as well, earning a pinch on his cheek.

“It's the dance this week, remember? But the play is before, so we have to set up so it's all ready for the night. That means dress rehearsals too.” You were a part of the theatre group, an odd choice for someone who disappears when they get stage fright, but you were heavily invested in what you did. It was a passion you indulged.

“Aye, yeah I forgot about that.” Sero rubs his neck and looks at the ground, deep in thought. At least for two minutes. After the two minutes he peeks at you with a mischievous grin. ”Wanna go to the dance with me?”

To your credit, you manage to stay opaque while your heart beats wildly in its cage. “Thats a dumb way of asking me out.” You mutter while sliding down from the stage, nearly cutting yourself on one of the loose planks.

“¡Cuidado!” He holds his arms out, ready to help you down. “I don't want my date to get hurt you know?”

“I can still dance in a cast.” You brush off his concern with a rare smile. Crushes aside, you appreciated his friendship and concern.

“The fuck is this, Romeo and Juliet? Get a room!” A classmate yells from the lighting stage, laughing when you flip them the bird.

Sero joins in the laughter, leaving soon after apologizing to your classmate. Said classmate meets you in front of the stage, arms crossed and looking back and forth between you and the now closed auditorium door.

“So are you guys dating now?”

“No, we're just friends.” You rub your neck, feeling the translucency crawl up your neck. But it couldn't wipe away the smile on your face.

You gravitate towards each other

Stretching your arms in front of you, you twist your body to the right and sigh as you feel a pop. You didn't particularly like gym class but it was nice to get a good stretch.

Looking around at the field in front of you, you wave at the occasional friendly face. You had friends in this class, which made it even more bearable.

"Hola princesa!"

Sero?

Turning around you grin at the familiar face. You run to the fence blocking you in, gripping it as you watch your friend run to you. He holds your hand through the fence, a normal occurance and a habit you've grown fond of.

"What are you doing here?" You question while turning your hand in order to squeeze his, heart fluttering when you see the small tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Just here to say hi. My next class is in E block." He peers over your shoulder. You were about the same height, somewhere around 5'4, so you relished being able to see him eye to eye (mostly) while it lasted. He grew a bit over the break of your first year. "Playing anything?"

"Volleyball." You shiver. "I'm team captain, but I suck at it." Who would you pick? Would you actually be a good leader? You feel your voice leave you as you begin to rival that of an onion skin, growing more and more invisible.

A small pinch on the back of your hand pulls you back to reality. Sero waggles a finger, tisking at you. "Don't sweat it, you'll do great." He squeezes your hand before backing up, walking backwards as he heads to class. "Just breathe princesa!"

"Got it." You whisper to yourself, waving to him as you watch him enter the building across from you.

Sadly by the end of your second year, he had grown taller, leaving you craning your neck to look at him.

When he entered U.A. you still cheered him on

Graduating middle school was tough when you split off into different schools. You knew you would keep in contact, but it was so much harder to spend time together when you didnt attend the same schools. Still, with each video chat and phone call, with each text, you showered him with all your love and support. He wanted to be a hero, and you were happy to support him with that dream!

You: Saw you on the tv, you were amazing!

Sero: thanks 😙 still lost tho 😅😅😁😁

You: Yeaaah🤔 but you still looked really cool! Still, didn't realize you were strong enough to pull that Todoroki guy that way 🧐

Sero: Im just full of surprises princesa 😘

Sero mentioned you often to his friends

You were mentioned in at least one conversation a day, it didn't matter the context, you just sort of popped up. What could he say, he loved you! You were his go to for support and someone he truly valued. Plus you weren't crazy like his classmates.

“You keep talking about her but we've never actually seen her.” Mina leans forward on her palm as she sips at her milk tea. “You're not lying about her are you?” She wiggles her eyebrows, eliciting a laugh from Sero.

“Course she's real.”

Kirishima lays his head on the table of the booth they were at, looking at Sero with confusion. “Got proof? It’s not manly to lie to your friends bro.” Sure he believed in his friend, but after a year of just hearing about a special girl, it was hard to keep believing without some form of proof.

Sero holds up a finger as he pulls out his phone. Placing it flat on the table, he pushes the power button and watches his friends faces light up as they view his lock screen. It was a picture of you.

“Woah! Who's the hot chick?” Kaminari asks excitedly as he returns from the bathroom. “Is she single?”

Sero powers off his phone before smacking a piece of tape on his friend’s mouth, surprisingly feeling a twinge of anger at his words. You were his best friend! He had to protect you!

On the inside he knew his anger was from deeper feelings, but for now it was just from the fact that he may need to defend your innocence from his own schoolmate. You were so shy, he knew Kaminari’s flirting would be too much for you.

“Yeah, no cabrón. She's taken.”

You were there for his graduation

Needless to say, you were at his graduation! It was difficult to find him amidst the crowds of families wanting to take pictures of their children and siblings, and even some heroes wanting to say their goodbyes! You were absolutely bombarded and neigh invisible after overthinking the whole thing, so when you finally found him you were stunned into invisibility when his friends jumped you.

“Ohmygodohmygodit'sactuallyyouuuuuu!” Mina screams as she pulls you into her, squeezing the life out of you before you can get a breath out.

The boys were much gentler, but just as excited. Especially Kaminari.

“Hey it’s the hot girl- more like the gone girl, what's happening?” He questions as you disappear from sight, your voice completely AWOL.

Sero smacks his face as he curses his friends out. “Chingues! Give my girl some space hijos de perras!”

Mina gives you enough space to breathe but holds you much like one would a hostage. For a hero course student, you believed that she would have done very well as a villain.

“Nope! We get to meet this girl of yours, Tape Boy!” She looks down at you, squinting to try making out where your face would be, unknowingly glaring directly at you. “He talks about you almost nonstop yet you haven't visited us at all, how unfair is that?” Mina grins.

You come into focus, your voice a mere squeak as you brush some hair out of your face. “A little? I should've visited..” You introduce yourself to his cadre, your name stumbling off your lips.

“Hot and shy? What a cutie!” Kaminari hugs you from your available side where Mina wasn't holding you in a headlock.

A whip of tape smacks the blonde and sends him reeling back to Sero who holds him in a similar hold Mina was holding you.

Your friend ruffles Kaminari's hair in a somewhat violent manner, grinning at him with threatening eyes. "Go easy on her cabrón. She's not used to so many people doting on her."

They were doting on you? You tilt your head and look at Mina who was still examining you. "I don't think I deserve to be doted on, that's not what's going on here right?"

"Of course not, but you and I are gonna have some girl time while the boys get us a spot at a restaurant! You're gonna tell us all about how you and Tape Boy here met!" She chirps excitedly, pulling Bakugou in with her free arm as he tries escaping past her.

You feel a drop of sweat as you accept your fate, watching Bakugou attempt to wrangle his way to freedom. "Sure, sounds nice."

Sero made it rather big as a hero, see, he wasn't the strongest hero but he was very popular

He had always been popular, so it made sense to you when his ranking kept going up and up until he was in the high twenties. You knew he was good at what he did, being a source of smiles even in dark times, but it always brightened your day when you heard your coworkers mention him in passing.

“Have you heard about the hero Cellophane yet?”

“Yeah! I think I saw him around yesterday. He was eating soba with Shoto.”

You look backwards to see the faces of your junior coworkers. They were in a different department than you, but you enjoyed chatting with them every now and then. Mostly when it came to heroes as you had somewhat of an insiders look.

Had you forgotten to mention you were friends with Sero- Cellophane?

You debated whether to tell them over tea one day until you heard their next words.

“He’s kind of hot isn't he?”

... Maybe you would keep the secret to yourself.

As a hero he makes time to drop into your life, sometimes randomly

What else was to be said? Really?

A blur flashes by your face, causing you to yelp in shock, stepping back and nearly falling onto the unforgiving pavement. Luckily, said blur created a swing of tape just in time to catch you, pulling you forward and bringing you into his arms.

“Lo siento mi corazón! I didn't mean to make you fall.” Sero grins at you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. He definitely meant to make you fall, you could see the mischief behind his eyes.

“As if Hanta.” You pinch him on the cheek, a smile coming to your face when he whines. “Look I’m happy to see you but I've got to get to work on time today, no funny business.”

“No funny business?” He repeats after you, rubbing his chin in thought. “Then I guess I’ll have to escort you to make sure you get to work on time.”

Your eyes widen as you feel his hold grow tighter and more secure as he holds you flush against him. Oh no. “Wait Sero-!”

And just like that, you were in the air, swinging from building to building with him propelling you both forward. You attempt to scream at him but your voice is lost along the way as you hear the clicking of cameras.

Oh god they were taking pictures.

“Niña don't worry! We’re almost there!”

Luckily for you, you were never caught on camera. So your quirk did have some uses.

The media was sure he had a partner

The photos really ended up getting him in hot water as every interview he did, the topic of romance was brought up. Fans would notice he would avoid the topic of love, but on his social media he would constantly mention a girl. No one knew who this girl was, but fans and news stations were determined to wring it out of him.

Once the red light of the on-air button was out, the reporter in front of Sero swiftly covers the mic pinned to her lapel and scoots to the edge of her seat. Sero watches in quiet amusement as the whole station becomes silent. Weird. But he knew why they grew quiet so fast. They wanted information, and if even the news anchor waiting for his time to come up stopped his boisterous laughter, it must've been important.

“Off the record. Do you have a secret sweetheart stashed away somewhere Cellophane?”

Oh. This again.

He stretches his arms in front of him as he runs through his normal excuses and dodges for this question. All still viable and working, but.. Maybe he could give a little hint. The media was on his ass about this after those photos were taken of him and his girl, so it was only right to clear the air right?

“Turn on the cameras. I’ll give this to you.”

You were crushed when he admitted he did have a sweetheart (of sorts) and even more so when the media suspected it to be the Stealth Hero: Invisible Girl

The media did end up getting a bit of info out of him and when you heard about this special girl your heart couldn't help but crack under the thought of him distancing himself from you to be with her. You treasured your friendship with him, romantic or not, you didn't want it to end. Because of this fear, you are the one who starts to close yourself off.

“Chiquita, what's wrong?” Sero follows you as you make your way to the kitchen, a bowl of chocolate coated pretzels in your arms. “Are you sick? I can stop by the pharmacy for you.”

“N-No, its okay. I'm not sick..” You back up when you see his arm stretched outward, flinching when the back of his hand meets your forehead.

He hums. “No fever.”

You push past him, abandoning the bowl of chocolatey treats on the counter. You felt yourself becoming frustrated. Not with him, but with yourself. His opinion meant the world to you- he was your best friend! And you were letting this relationship of his get to you. How petty could you be? He did nothing wrong. In fact, you should be happy for him, finally dating his high school sweetheart.

But the thought of him dating Invisible Girl- the irony of him dating an invisible girl- was just too much for your heart to take at the moment.

You had no way to take out this frustration. So it was reflected onto him.

“Cariño-”

“Please!” You slam your hands on the counter, voice fading in and out as you hide your face in the collar of your turtleneck. “Please.. Just go.”

The apartment was quiet, filled with only your ragged breathing as you hold in your rampant emotions. When he leaves with a silent goodbye, you're unsure if the breaking sound surrounding you is just in your head or if something truly reached into you and tore your heart to pieces.

He makes it very clear who that sweetheart is

Finally, he announces just who captured his heart. It was live on a jumbo screen, playing as you were out getting “groceries” for the nights dinner.

The hollow feeling in your chest wasn't easing, and it definitely wasn't made any better when you saw the Stealth Hero on the television next to her team. Though your calves were certainly doing better with how much speed walking you would do when you passed by convenience stores with tabloids lining their windows, photos of Sero and Invisible Girl on the front.

Work went by dreadfully slow, and lunch went by just as uneventfully as usual. You ignored the chatter of your coworkers, uninterested in what they had to say.

After the report came out, no one was talking about the top heroes anymore. They all were focused on the potential lovers and what other secret admiring the heroes had in their ranks. If other heroes were hiding their own affairs. If the popular Cellophane could hide his romance, maybe someone like Deku or Shoto could be too.

“We’re going out for drinks later, want to come with?” Your junior asks as she slings her purse strap over her shoulder. “Jin is paying~”

You respond with a polite smile. “No thanks. I’m going straight home.”

- - -

Going straight home was the plan, but in the end you had to make a quick trip to the nearest grocery store for dinner. Something quick, as you didn't have the energy to make something complicated.

Which meant you ended up buying only instant ramen.

It was on your way back, crossing a busy sector when the sound of your friend on the jumbo screen caught your attention.

“She's my corazón. Mi vida.”

You look up at the screen, stopping in your tracks.

Sero was blushing, a shy smile on his face, but his eyes were lit up with joy. You heart pulses rapidly in your chest, a blush creeping up your cheeks. You had never seen him so flustered, it was always the other way around.

“I’ve loved her since middle school. I never wanted to drag her into this, so I never confirmed her name- but its not Invisible Girl!” He amends quickly, looking at the reporter with a knowing look. He wags his finger, his infamous cocky smile replacing the twitterpated look from earlier.

“Sure, she has a similar quirk, which is how those photos came to be.” He leans back in his chair.

“You want to know her name right? I guess it wouldn't hurt to say. I’ve kept it hidden for so long, but here it is.”

And then he said it.

He said your name.

Looking directly at the screen, he smiles gently, eyes full of the warmth you've been craving ever since you were paired for that project years ago.

“Ella es mi tesoro. She is my treasure.”

Extra:

Racing home, you're not surprised when you find the lights on in your apartment. In fact, it only spurs you forward.

Yanking open the unlocked door, you drop your groceries and launch yourself into Sero’s arms as he held them open for a hug.

He was sweaty from rushing from the news station to your apartment, but neither of you were concerned about it as you laugh. You laugh at the tape still clinging to his clothes, you laugh at the ramen spilling out of your grocery bags, you laugh at your tears.

You laugh at how long it took for you both to finally admit how much you loved each other.

“Mi corazón.” He pulls back from the hug and cups your cheek, looking at you with love softened eyes. “I love you.”

Tears brim your eyes.

You speak in the clearest voice you've ever spoken in. Skin bright and flushed pink.

“I love you too.”

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by-kilian · 3 years

Note

hey, anon again. I guess a safe space would be where i feel comfy. Not have ppl send hate. Although that my be inevitable. But i guess i feel lonely because it does feel like high school. Where everyone has their own friends and i find that ppl i thought i would be really close to, the other doesn't really show that back.

I'm sorry. I just feel comfy talking to you so. I'm telling myself to pull through, right and i even unfollowed to not see them. But they are friends of the other people i follow and im like. When for the first time will i ever feel like i belong. And to answer it's mostly fandom.

You have nothing to apologize for! This is kind of long so I’ll put it under a cut.

First of all, people sending hate is sadly inevitable with the anon feature on tumblr. They also make it impossible to block anons and doing so is useless because tumblr is useless. An easy way to get rid of that is to turn anon off. It sucks because it’s the case of one potential asshole ruining it for other people who are most likely not assholes. But guess what? Your safe space and how you feel ultimately trumps how anyone else feels at the end of the day. Yes it may cut off some connection to people, but if that is what brings you peace of mind, go for it.

And secondly, you can always unfollow, block, and filter. I can’t tell you how many people I block and filter because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want. I’m not worried about how anyone else feels about it because this is KW’s blog therefore I’ll curate my online experience to look however tf I want it to! 😂 if that’s what it takes to make logging onto tumblr a more enjoyable experience for you, do that!!

Lastly, like I said in my last answer, I find many friendships on tumblr to come off as pandering and childish, but this could also just be because I’m older than most of the people I see in my tumblr circle.

I’ve made lots of friends off tumblr. Four people off tumblr alone know my real name and what I look like, and two have access to my private Twitter account. I don’t feel the need to broadcast those things or show off my friendships to them every day because why would I? Will I occasionally mention them and tag them in things on here? Sometimes but it’s rare. I don’t dive into their ask boxes all the time because I can literally just speak to them privately if I wanna talk 😂

I find most people perform with friendships on here and it’s a constant “look at me and who I’m friends with” and that is very deliberate. I’m sure that’s not the case for everyone but I’m willing to bet it’s the case for most, especially for most of what you’re seeing. There’s nothing wrong with you because you’re not in those groups. Most of those fizzle out and die off because that’s the nature of those kinds of friendships. I’ve gone through my fair share of internet cycle of friends in different fandoms when I was younger and I def did the same things I see others doing, and trust me when I say I speak from experience—many of those friendships are temporary and performative. Again, that may not be the case for everyone but it’s the case for most from my experience. It just is what it is because of the natural tendency to involve one self in cliques (sociologically we do this for protection, etc). There’s nothing wrong with them for doing this either. But my point is, look beyond what you’re seeing and remember that not being friends with those people may be for the best. Maybe it wouldn’t have lasted. Maybe it would’ve gotten you caught up in drama. Who knows? But know it’s for a reason and it’s not because you’re not worthy or worth having for a friend.

My advice is to make your space look however you want to. Unfollow, filter and block people and don’t be worried about the “repercussions” because this is literally the internet. What are they going to do? Beat your ass? 😂 Do what makes YOU happy. Don’t show love to anyone who isn’t reciprocating that back genuinely. That’s their loss, not yours. And just be yourself. Reach out to people who make you feel safe (if my blog is that place, feel free to claim an anon emoji and we can chat whenever!). Make your blog the safest place it can be for YOU because you owe no one nothing in terms of what constitutes your happiness and safety.

Cliques exist everywhere. They are also so incredibly pervasive on tumblr. It doesn’t bother me to not be apart of it cause I’m a grown ass adult who doesn’t want to be in it, but it annoys me to see so I can only imagine how it feels to be impacted by it. Your feelings are valid. And I wish I could answer that question as to when you’ll feel like you’ll belong. The internet may be the place where you find it. It also may not be. If you bank everything on finding “belongingness”, especially in very specific spaces, you may actually find yourself feeling more empty. It’s okay not to belong, but I also understand wanting to.

I encourage you to be your true, authentic self and don’t worry about making friends or whatever. Come on here and have fun. You will find your people eventually simply by being authentic. When you’re not looking for anything in particular, you will just find those things cause that’s how life works. Or rather, those things will find you. With ease, too cause you’re no longer worried about it.

I’m sorry if this wasn’t the answer you were hoping for but I do promise you that I’m sure you’re not alone. And I hope this helps, somewhat. ❤️

#asks

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skynight0012 · 3 years

Text

Jealous?

Knockout x human reader

Knocky gets a bit mad and jelly🤭

—————————

"Thanks knockout." You thanked your boyfriend as you exited his vehicle mode. "Anytime sweetspark." As you walked away you called over your shoulder. "If you dont pick me up after school I'm going to my friends house!" Ya about that. Last time he forgot to pick you up, and you ended up staying at your friends without telling him, and he had a literal spark attack he almost started crying when he saw you.

He revved his engine before taking off leaving a pile of dust. As you continued to walk over to the door you saw the popular guys of the school, sitting at the wall. One in particular was watching as you walked by, making you uncomfortable. You didn't really have a popular group, just you and your friends, which you were completely fine with. "Y/n!" Your friends called out your name as he/she saw you. "That's a nice car you have there, who's is it?" You blushed. You hadn't actually told them that you were dating someone, so you were preparing to have an ear full. "Well, it um, it's my boyfriends." ".......WHAT!!!" Oh no...

Time skip

Well that was lovely. All your friends were bothering you with questions upon questions. Which you sometimes answered to. I mean what were you supposed to tell them. 'Ya I'm dating a giant alien robot that is billions of years older than me and has been at war for eons.' Ya, that would not end well. Anyhow the day is almost over and you couldn't wait to get out of here. All you could think about was if knockout would remember to pick you up. I mean you didn't mind going to your friends, it has been awhile since the two of you had a sleepover, but you just wanted to know that he didn't forget.

Ring!!

And theres the bell. You packed all your things and made your way to the front foyay(I cant remember how to spell it) and walked out the door. You felt relief wash over you when you saw the red Aston Martin parked in the parking lot. You started walking over to him, when you noticed that the exact same guy from this morning was following you. Just as you made it to knockout he spoke up. "Hey cutie." You looked at him. 'Cutie??' "Do you wanna, go out sometime?" "Uh- I-im sorry but I'm already dating someone else." His expression changed to one of annoyance. "And you expect me to believe that?" Suddenly knockout spoke up. "Well you best believe it-" his door opened to reveal a nice looking man with red eyes and strawberry hair. ",because I'm her boyfriend." He growled. You blushed as he pulled you close to his muscled body and glared at the guy. "Oh! I-im sorry.." He took off probably embarrassed that he had said those things in front of your boyfriend, but you weren't complaining. Knockout took you to the passenger side and opened the door for you. You hopped in and watched as his hollow form fizzled away and the engine turn on. The drive was quiet, but you didnt want to say anything. You could feel the anger coming off knockout.

When you both arrive at the nemesis and med bay, you put all your things down, and squeaked when you felt something slide around your body. Knockout had put both of his hands behind your body to he was holding you like if he were holding water. You looked up at him with wary eyes."Knockout??" Without any warning he took your lips on his and kissed you passionately making you moan in surprise. He pulled away and shoved his face into your body so that his head was squished up against your stomach area. You giggled at the ticklish sensation when he nuzzled his head as far as possible murmuring death threats and saying mine over and over again.

You didnt know he could get this jealous.

———————

UwU

#knockout #tfp #transformers #jealousy

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years

Text

Fizzled-- a.i

Been in a funk the last two days, every little thing has been irritating me so this is what helped me cope. 841 words

• • • •

He could tell something was off as soon as you walked through the door, well, stormed through the door in a whirlwind. Ashton knew your moods were affected by weather and today it was overcast and gloomy and when he approaches you in the entryway, he sees the same stormy weather in your eyes.

“Angel--” he starts, arms reaching for you but you shove him away.

You storm your way down the hall, slamming the door in your wake and Ashton lets out a sigh. You’d been teetering on the edge for the last week, he’s been anticipating the moment you’d stumble so he’d be ready to catch you.

He didn’t anticipate you crashing into him in the first .01 second of walking through the door though. Ashton knew the routine like the back of his own hand, because when he was in the same type of storm you handled it the exact same way.

He loved how similar you were. Angels and demons coexisting together, strengths and weaknesses ready for combat when necessary. You’re a dynamic duo.

He contemplates on his approach with you; sometimes when you’re in an angry mood like this all you need are his cuddles and gentle fingers through your hair. In other instances you need a bit of tough loving. He has to fight the root of the problem out of you.

When he hears more slamming of drawers and the thunderous way you open the door, he knows it has to be the second option today. He sighs and leans against the counter, arms folded as he waits and watches you stomp your way down the hall.

He takes in your outfit, your pair of black quarter length leggings and your favorite maroon hoodie. There’s a scowl on your face as you brisk past him and pull out a pot rather loudly. Ashton watches as you angrily turn on the faucet, filling the pot with water then slamming it on the stove.

“Can you stop watching me please?” you snap. The polite ‘please’ is canceled out from your tone.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Ashton bites back in the same tone.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, bullshit. You’re pissed about something, so tell me. Is it something I did?”

“No,” you grumble then moves to leave out of the kitchen.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he stops you by grasping your arm. It causes you to spin and thump against his chest. You try to push him away, your tiny little fists pound his chest but he grabs hold of your wrists.

“Let me go,” you say through clenched teeth still struggling against him to break free.

But Ashton is stronger than you, his grip is tight but you’re stubborn and in a foul mood that you don’t even know why, so you try using your legs. You plant your feet trying to pull yourself away.

“Just--let--me--GO!” you’re shouting now and still wrestling with him.

“No,” he says softly and you can feel his hazel eyes on you.

The anger in you is bubbling, rising higher and higher to the surface. You’re still squirming to get away until the frustration finally becomes too much to bear and you collapse against his chest. Hot tears sting your eyes as you give in and seek the comfort of his embrace.

Ashton is quick to wrap his arms around you tightly, his cheek rests on the top of your head as he lets you cry into his shirt. Your hands are squeezed between you and you clutch desperately on his shirt, tears wetting the fabric.

“I’ve got you . . . I’ve got you,” he repeats this over and over until you’re out of tears and gasping for breath. He unwinds his arms from around you and pushes on your shoulders gently so he can look at you. His thumbs dry your cheeks the best he can. “What’s goin’ on, angel?”

“I don’t know,” you say meekly, staring at his shirt. “Just a bad day, I guess. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” he shakes his head then tilts your head up so you’re forced to look in his eyes. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just hold me.” you throw yourself back into his arms, face buried in his chest.

“I can do that.”

He holds you tightly, murmuring how much he loves you in between kisses to your head and then on your shoulders. After a while he lifts you up in his arms and brings you to the couch where he falls heavily. It makes you laugh slightly and he kisses your cheek as you settle onto his lap.

You tell him about your day and he listens intently, nodding for you to continue and adding his own comments about how ignorant some people can be. His hands massage up and down your back as you talk and then you end up falling asleep on top of him. He pulls his phone out and orders your favorite take-out food because he knows as soon as you’re awake you’ll be begging for food.

• • • •

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos @wokeupinjapanisabop @myloverboyash @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2 @g-l-pierce @fairyintheglass @gosh-im-short @banditocth @dezzym17 @loverofmineabi @lukeisbaby @spicycal @mysticalhood @thesubtweeter @wastedheartcth @atlcalm @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @babylon-corgis @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @lanternlover2 @istaywithmyjonas @calteahood @sarcastically-defensive17 @allier59 @calumhoodaf @baldcalum @philthepegacorn

#ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin angst #ashton blurb #ashton irwin blurb #ashton fluff #ashton angst #ashton x reader #ashton 5sos #ashton writing #5sos writing

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missblissy · 4 years

Note

Hey! I’m loving your Alastor imagines & I want to request one. Can you write something where the reader is an angel from heaven & sneaks down to hell to visit Alastor (boyfriend) every day. The reader puts on a disguise to not get caught. So one day reader decides to show off her wings to him in private & he’s smitten with how gorgeous they are since he’s never seen anything like it & asks to touch them which makes reader blush/giggle causing Alastor to sneeze. Just fluff & kisses. Thanks!

((@U@ I am swept away by this ask Is this based off an OC?? Cause if so??? Please tell me about them??? If not??? THANK YOU FOR SUPPLYING THE BEST ASK OF THE DAY!!!!!!! I kind of turned this into a song fic?? Im sorry if you aren’t into those, I was just listening to this song over and over again while writing this fic and??? I just??? Love it?? Anyways QuQ Sorry if you don’t like song fics, but!! ENJOY!!!!!!!!))

You risked your life every day you ascended down with to meet with a man who you could never spend your afterlife with. Falling with Morning Star, Venus, traveling the path of Lucifer, you’d hide among the clouds as you waited for the perfect time to fall without anyone noticing. Every morning you’d make this journey.

Many people thought you were a shooting star crashing into the earth and you could hear their prayers and wishes while falling towards earth. There were many portals to Hell, but you took the one in Italy and fell through the crusts of the planet.

With your white wings tucked in, you landed in The Forests of Limbo. Many souls were doomed to walk among it’s swampy land, lost in the fog forever while they search for heaven’s golden gates. Of in the distance and close to the Second Circle of Lust, you could see several castles bloom above the treetops. You looked around to make sure you were alone. Quickly, you replaced your halo for horns. Your wings faded and blended into your back, tucked and hidden away so no one could see them. You took on a demonic form with a slithering imp tail and teeth the size of knives. You sucked in a deep breath and started heading for the center of the Hell and into Pentagram City.

You had fallen in love with a man who was the complete opposite of you. He was cunning, evil, tricky, mischievous and twisted. Alastor was a demon unlike any other. And still, you loved him and every evil little thing about him. Lately, he’s been staying in a hotel and not his home. You were kind of happy that he was. There was a point there when he went weeks without leaving his home. Now he had so many friends and people to surround himself with. It made your naturally worrying heart ease a little.

He was staying on the top floor, thank god you had wings. Expect this time when you stretched them out, the pure white feathers were gone and replaced with slick black skin as it stretched out like a bat’s wing. Standing at the base of the hotel while the morning light crawled into the sky, you gave one quick swoop of your wings and launched into the sky. Seconds later you were tapping on Alastor’s window only to come face to face with the Radio Demon himself.

With a never-ending smile, he pushed open his window, “Good morning, my dear,” He held his hand out for you. As he helped you through the window he grabbed ahold of your waist and gently placed you on solid grown. Alastor didn’t waste a second at stealing a kiss from your lips.

You giggled softly, trying to hide your blush, “Hello,” Your voice was small and your heart was racing. Of course, Alastor knew you were an angel from above, but no one else did. It was a forbidden love that made your blood rush with excitement.

Alastor brushed his nose against you. You loved his little Eskimo kisses more than the real ones, “You look like you’ve been through Hell and back,” He joked softly, his long claws still wrapped around your waist and holding you in place. You giggled, loving his jokes and poor taste in humor.

“Only so I can be with you, my love,” You lifted your hand and Alastor instinctively pressed his cheek into your palm. He rubbed his cheek against your fingers while a shallow smile adorned his face.

He started to hum and followed suit. You already ready knew the tune as Alastor whisked you around his hotel room. The two of you waltz in circles. Your eyes locked with his dark ones, he hummed with a fizzle and a pop in his static voice, then as if by magic a soft song escaped his form. He was his own damn radio, music twirled from him and soon he was singing as the two of you dance, “Ultimately I don’t understand a thing, I try to do the best I can, I know you try to do the same. We’re just so bound to make mistakes,” His voice came in and out of frequence, mingling with the soft music, “You could call it a disposition. I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different. But I’m still growing up… Into the one you can call your love,” He took his hand and creased your cheek, still singing along as your heart called to his siren song, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be enough, I’m throwing in my chips, I guess I tend to push my luck,” He stared down at you with a softer gaze and a sweet smile.

Your eyes lit up, knowing every word by heart, a large smile flutter to your lips, “And ultimately, I believe we’ll be okay! It’s so cliché to say these things, but repetition is a key!” Alastor’s silent heart twitched alive and caused little static waves of electricity to pulse from his form. The music played on as you reached on your toes and touched your nose to his, “I think I’m better when I’m with you. But I worry when you’re gone. I think I need to learn to love myself, I must learn to be strong,” Alastor slowed your waltz and eventually halted. You were close enough that you could kiss him, but you sang on with your lips barely brushing his shallow smile, “So, for now we’ll say goodbye. Although it pains me in my heart, your words, they come to me in memories. They sing to me like songs, it won’t be long until I’m here!” You pressed a kick kiss onto his lips, he didn’t even jump. He instead leaned down and followed you for another kiss but you sang on before he could do so, “Soon I’ll make my arrival. Under shady trees, a quiet street. The roads that I have traveled,”

The two of you hummed in harmony for a second, then together you sang, “Ultimately it's a beautiful thing, like flowers blooming in a lonely field. The petals drift through crossing winds, they find their way to river streams that scent the water beautifully, it takes me back to you~ It takes me back to you~”

The music played on as the two of you slow danced there in that spot for a minute or so. Eventually, the tune quietly faded away until the room was silent again. It was always your favorite thing you did with him. Singing was so important to both of you and you were so happy you could share that love with him.

Alastor creased your cheek with his hand while pressing a kiss onto your forehead, “You’d look better without those silly demon parts,” He quietly suggested in a low whisper-like voice.

He kept purring in your ear like a cat. He was always trying to get you to drop your disguise. You didn’t look much different from your natural form. You just had a halo and wings and some different color schemes. You gave a little shake of your head, “What if someone sees me?”

Alastor just gave a little chuckle with a tiny smile, “Only I will see, my dear, I promise,” He snapped his fingers and all the curtains closed by themselves and you heard the lock to his door click and shut.

“Fine,” You huffed with a little grin, not really upset by it, “But close your eyes first- And sit! On the bed!” Alastor followed your orders and perched himself on the edge of his bed. He closed his eyes and you waited a few seconds to make sure he wouldn’t peak.

You had never shown him your true form. So you were a little nervous. What if he didn’t like the way you looked? You shook away your fears and waved your hand slowly over your chest. A warm and heavenly glow flustered and flashed from your heart before become so bright that it encased your entire body.

Only seconds passed and suddenly you were adorned in a thin white dress, a tiny little halo above your head, and wings untucked and folded behind you back, “Okay,” You quietly said, “You can look.”

As you stood there with your arms crossed over your chest, a flustered blush on your face, you watch Alastor open his eyes and his smile slowly fall from his face. No! He didn’t like it! You’d never seen him without a smile!

He got up very quickly and possessively grabbed you with his hands and yanked you towards him. You were chest to chest when Alastor grabbed your chin with his fingers and forcefully stole as many kisses as he wanted. You were confused but you enjoyed this new version of Alastor that you’d never met before.

“Absolutely, entirely and completely perfect and beautiful in every way,” Alastor’s voice was strong and confidante, his smirk was back as he watched you grow red, “I’ve never seen a creature as lovely and heavenly as you.”

He really never had. Alastor had never seen any angel ever. They didn’t tend to come down to Hell that often. He couldn’t take his eyes off your. Your skin was perfect, smooth, and hade the faintest glow to it. The way your hair was so fluffy and soft, it was so tempting not to run his fingers through it. But he was the most hypnotized by your wings. They were huge and finally understood why you kept them tucked away all the time.

Alastor released you from his grip and quickly walked behind you. He almost laid a finger on your wings but stopped inches before making contact. Silly him, he almost forgot to ask, “May I?”

You blinked a couple of times, not sure if you were comfortable with this or not. But you finally nodded your head and gave in to his pleading gaze. The second his fingers came in contact with your feathers, you felt a wild chill run down your back. It was a strange tickle that resided in your belly and caused your cheeks to flare up into a rosy red color. Alastor couldn’t help himself, he plucked a large white feather from your wings which caused you to jump and nearly knock him over.

“Sorry!” He smiled, “I just had to have one!” His tone was so light and bubbly, you could even be mad at him. Alastor then dipped his nose into your feathers and took in a deep breath. You smelled like peaches and sunshine.. He loved it. He took in another sigh but this time the feathers tickled his nose and causing him to sneeze.

His face twisted up and then he let out a loud “Achoo!” Oh god, it was so cute. He even seemed a little dazed by the force of the sneeze and he sniffled up whatever was trying to escape his nose. You spun around -almost knocking over a lamp in the process- then clasped your hands on either side of Alastor’s face.

You smiled big and gave him a quick kiss, “You’re so adorable,” You told him, “I’m glad you like me this way. I wasn’t sure if you would...”

“How could I not?!” He started to snake his hands around your torso, resting them at the curves of your waist, “You’re simply perfect, my love.” He knew exactly what to say to make you blush and try and hide it with a giggle. The two of you kept standing there. Giving Eskimo kisses and real ones, getting intoxicated on each other’s love and drowning in affection. Nothing could have been more romantic or perfect than this.

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baroquebucky · 4 years

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I love you and your work so much! One of my favorite blogs here! If you have time and if you're still taking requests please could you write a one shot about reader believing bucky hates her guts because he's always yelling and saying mean things to her but later admits it's because he's terrified, he hasn't been infatuated with a woman for over 70 years and doesn't think he deserves her anyway. Hope this makes sense

A/N: wow my heart is warm <3 i hope this meets ur expectations ilysm

You smiled at Bucky as he made his way down the stairs and sat at the table where you ate some pancakes.

“good morning” you spoke, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t be harsh today. He only rolled his eyes and sat in the seat furthest from you, glancing at you occasionally. A small frown settled on your face and your hunger left you. You grabbed you plate and set on the counter top, going back to your room to finish getting ready.

Bucky was left alon in the kitchen, letting himself groan loudly when he knew you were out of earshot.

Later that day while you were out running bucky was training with steve, Steve however was trying to make this into a therapy session for the man.

“so why do you hate her? She’s really never done anything wrong” he spoke, rushing the words out as he blocked a kick and threw a punch at the metal armed man.

“Steve not now we’re practicing” he spoke gruffly, avoiding his question. Steve took note of how stiff Bucky got at the mention of you and he decided enough is enough.

Swiftly, Steve swept his leg at Bucky’s ankles and laid him flat on the floor before he could even react. He quickly got ontop of him and pinned him so that he couldn’t get up.

“I’ll let you go IF you tell me why” steve spoke, slightly out of breath and Bucky groaned, going slack under Steve and mumbling something.

“fine, ONLY because I’m tired already, or else i totally could have taken you” he smirked and Steve scoffed nodding his head and letting the man get up.

You entered the compound quietly and were about to round the corner before you heard two familiar voices talking in the living room. No one else was at the compound currently because everyone was either on a mission or visiting family.

You quietly pressed your body to the wall, took your headphones out and listened to the conversation Steve and Bucky were having.

“Buck you cant just push her away because you don’t like those feelings.” That was Steve, who were they talking about? Was it you?

“I haven’t felt like this in like 70 years, I’m not the charmer I used to be, I have so much baggage I can’t do that to her. I thought if I hurt her enough she’ll leave me alone but she won’t, she still smiles at me and tries to be nice” Bucky groaned and you felt your chest tighten.

It was the perfect time for you to waltz in and pretended you had heard nothing, but you also wanted to continue listening to the troubled man and figure out who he was talking about. During this time of debate you hadn’t notice that they had stopped talking and moved towards the opposite end of the hall that you had entered from, sneaking up behind you.

“have you been listening this whole time?” Bucky spoke from behind you, causing you to let out a small scream and slap him across the face. Your eyes went wide and you thought for sure you had met your end. You just slapped the Winter Soldier and he already hates you.

“Oh my god! Oh god I’m so sorry i didn’t mean to! I was just- i got scared i didn’t- im sorry! Are you gonna kill me? You already hate me oh god please tell my family i love them, I’m sorry- you know i can help you! With the problem!” You rushed out, fumbling over your words and backing up slowly, only for your back to hit a wall and you pressed yourself against it as the super soldier slowly walked up to you.

“Y/N-” he spoke and you quickly shut your mouth. Looking up at him, your heart rate erratic and you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

“it’s you” he whispered softly, you could nearly hear him over your own heart beat. You suddenly felt less tense and blood rushed to your cheeks.

“me?” you replied, looking up at him and meeting his eyes, searching his face for any emotion. He simply nodded and backed up, allowing enough room for you to leave if you wanted to. But you weren’t.

“I thought you hated me, all those times i tried to be nice you would just tell me off or insult me. I tried to help you out and support you and you just pushed me away. I tried so hard and you’re telling me you let all that go down the drain just because you couldn’t handle your own emotions?” You spoke, feeling a mix of emotions.

You knew it was hard for him to deal with emotions, after everything he’s been through he probably thinks he shouldn’t have a crush on someone. However you were beyond angry and upset that your fruitless efforts weren’t because he hated you but because he was afraid of his own emotions.

“Y/N i know this is my fault and I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you, i wanted to just sweep you off your feet and hold you and cuddle and love you and shower you with love but i don’t deserve that. Everytime I imagine anything with you I feel like it shouldn’t be me, it should be someone better.” He focused on the floor and occasionally glanced up to meet your eyes for a few seconds.

“I thought that if I was rude to you that you would hate me and those feelings would just fizzle away. But they didn’t and I got so scared and I didn’t want to face them, so I just kept being mean to you as a way to just not deal with them. I know it’s wrong and I’m sorry for making you go through that. Maybe someday you can forgive me” he spoke, looking at you with a mix of emotions, but not a hint of the cold stare that you were used to.

You were quiet for a moment, gathering your thoughts and trying to come up with a response, but you could manage to do was walk up the the man and wrap your arms around him. You buried your head in his chest and breathed in softly.

You sighed in relief as he hugged you back, both his arms wrapping comfortably around you and engulfing you. You closed your eyes and just enjoyed the feeling, no hate, no pressure. Nothing. Just, love.

You both pulled away and you smiled at the soldier, looking down at the ground and then back at him.

“I forgive you, but you owe me ice cream from that time you talked tony out of getting me some when i was sad” you spoke and he smiled nodding at you, Steve had long gone, knowing that it would work itself out between you two.

The best things take time, and you knew it would take time before you and Bucky became more than just friends, but you didn’t mind. You looked forward to stolen glances and small smiles, to surprise snacks and training together. You looked forward to growing with each other and becoming who you were meant to be.

#bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #soft bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes one shot #baroquebucky

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helnjk · 3 years

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firstly, congrats on 800 followers!!! you're a great writer and you deserve so SO much!!! secondly, 🍀🍀 i've always been kind of obsessed with the phrase "don't be a stranger" so i'm curious to see what you could write with it... and congrats again!!!

thank you so much lovely 🥺💞

🍀 ‘don’t be a stranger’

okaaaaaay. this is giving me sad angsty vibes im so sorry ahsjshjs

i was already planning an angsty Fred fic & i feel like this is the perfect title for it LMAO. anyway the premise is that reader & Fred have been dating for a long time. like, years long maybe. and first & foremost they’re best friends. they basically grew up together and then they fell in love. but sometimes love can’t be the only thing holding a relationship together, and after sometime they kind of just fizzle out. but, the two of them keep holding on & refuse to acknowledge that they don’t love each other in that way anymore. inevitably, they have to sit down & talk, & it ends with reader telling Fred, ‘don’t be a stranger’ with a sad smile.

Ok. Ok I’m sorry 🥺 but I wanna write this now.

join my sleepover!

#kai’s 800 sleepover #yikes this was sad #oops

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cle1024 · 5 years

Text

dead loss | hhj

member: hwang hyunjin

genre: fluff, angst

summary: life was an exhausting and pointless ride for hyunjin, but you managed to make it a little more bearable while you could. delinquent!au, friends to lovers!au, coming of age!au

warnings: smoking, alcoholism, swearing, violence, death, drug-dealing (no usage), lots of illegal stuff my dudes

disclaimer: there are ships within this story. i am NOT trying to force these relationships on any of the boys, nor am i trying to use them as anything other than an aspect of the story. these are purely fictitious scenarios and relationships, i feel the need to add this disclaimer because some people take ships w a y too far (insisting they’re real to the point where it’s uncomfortable and borderline fetishising) and i don’t want to come across as one of those people.

a/n: anyway i’m gonna go disappear for another 5+ months

Life in a small town was peaceful in the outsider’s perspective ― everyone knew everyone, there was a strong sense of community and unbreakable bond built on reliability and trust. People who believed that shit clearly didn’t live in a small town, or at least not your small town. No, in your hometown everyone was a stranger. If you look at them for too long ― alternatively referred to as “looking at them the ‘wrong way’” ― they wouldn’t hate to get aggressive, borderline violent or just straight up violent. There was no trust in this town, how can you trust a stranger? It was a shady and hopeless area that people struggled to escape. Many of you have accepted your future, stuck in this abysmal hellhole, but some things just aren’t easy to come to terms with―especially when you hate the future you’ll inevitably be trapped in.

A slight metallic scent tainted the air as Hyunjin leaned against the wooden planks of the treehouse, a huff passing his busted lips. He had managed to drag his sorry ass back to the rickety treehouse after sending a simple text to you ― something optimistic and charming: “im going to fucking die. treehouse” ― in the hopes you would come fix his wounds. That’s what you always did after Hyunjin had been in a fight, regardless of whether he asked you to or not. Though he had to ask you this time, even if it was the ass crack of dawn, because he genuinely thought he was going to die any second now. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was because he’d used all of his energy in the fight, his wounds bled too much, or the result of not sleeping in thirty-seven hours. Hyunjin didn’t think he really cared about dying, everyone has to go at some point, but he did care about whether he would be in pain or alone when he died―and right now, he was both. There was a faint pattering of footsteps in the dewy grass, growing louder until they were gently working their way up the wooden ladder to the treehouse. Hyunjin opened his eyes lazily, watching as you pulled yourself up and into the structure. He smirked slightly and wheezed out a chuckle, “on a scale of one to ten, how dateable am I right now?” You stared at him blankly, scanning over his injuries before huffing slightly and shifting towards him.

“Losing fights isn’t a personality trait, dipshit.”

“Yeah, but it makes me seem like a bad boy, huh?” Hyunjin chuckled hoarsely at your immediate eye roll, tilting his head to give you better access to his bleeding face wounds. He winced softly as pressure was applied to the bloody mark on the top of his cheek, a fresh bruise blooming under his soft skin. He couldn’t see all of his wounds, but he could undeniably feel them. His cheek was bruised and bleeding, his bottom lip was busted with blood seeping into his mouth occasionally―he was just loving that―while there were numerous pains to his abdomen, mainly in his ribs and lower stomach.

“Jeez, you need to stop picking fights you can’t win,” the corners of his lips twitched upwards momentarily, a tinge of smugness painting the action.

“This is the prime of my life, darling.”

You scoffed at his excuse, “yeah, you’ll only be young once but you’ll be stupid for the rest of your life, Hwang.”

“Touche,” he shrugged nonchalantly as your eyes widened in mock offence.

“Oh, do you want to bleed some more?” The two of you chuckled at the threat, though Hyunjin’s sounded much more breathless and painful than yours did.

“Nah, only other people are allowed to hurt me. How else would I get your attention at night?” Hyunjin’s comment elicited another eyeroll and soft smile from you. He knew you’d drop everything to be with him, regardless of how sleep-deprived it made you, because that’s what friends did.

Hyunjin is a delinquent, down to the very definition: “(typically of a young person) tending to commit crime, particularly minor crime.” He does that a fair bit, stealing from different shops run by tired and aging people who can’t be arsed to chase after the mischievous teenager. He smokes, despite his youth, but won’t take a swig of alcohol ― something Jisung often laughs at him for, but that boy was a borderline alcoholic. The tall boy also happened to be involved in fights at least one a fortnight, you sometimes have the displeasure of witnessing them and almost always have the duty of taking care of him afterwards―no one else was willing to do it. You don’t approve of Hyunjin’s lifestyle, frankly you never have, but you know he has his reasons. Besides, he’s a stubborn boy and wouldn’t change even if you tried to force him. He’s reckless and usually impulsive, which became undeniably obvious when he was fifteen, stood in front of a train until the last second so he could dodge it, all with the undying support of his former enemy Jisung ― “You got this, man!”

“All he’s got is a one-way ticket to the afterlife,” you’d deadpanned, earning a scoff from the other boy.

“As Teddy Duchamp once said, ‘train dodge, dig it’.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t stay around long enough to dodge it, nor is he a real person!”

At the end of the day, it really didn’t matter how Hyunjin acted, he would still be your best friend. He’d filled that position since the two of you were kids, it came naturally when you lived one street away from each other and had fathers with a similar friendly relationship―until work got the best of them. Now they don’t have enough time for their children, let alone each other. They differed in some ways: your father harbours expectations far too high for you, meaning he spends most of his free time reprimanding you for not trying hard enough, whereas Hyunjin’s father was always busy and didn’t really care for his son. As a result, Hyunjin spent most of his time away from home, locked inside that treehouse his father built for him and his childhood friends ― many of them had moved on to other things: moved away, became too good for him, or died, but you and Minho always stuck around, later adding Jisung to the bunch when he and Hyunjin outgrew their petty mutual hatred. Smoking, playing cards or watching scenery while he played with a lighter, it was enough for Hyunjin.

Sometimes you think about Jisung and Hyunjin’s weird friendship, it’s an evolution you all laughed about from time to time. When the pair were younger, the age of twelve during middle school to be exact, they harboured a burning mutual hatred that continuously burdened their mutual friends ― namely upperclassman Lee Minho; at least, he was the only one of the bunch who stuck around. There was an incident where the pair were ready to throw hands at one another, but Minho and some of his older friends stepped in and told them to squash it, even if momentarily. After Jisung aided Hyunjin in a fight with some older boys from the next town over, the two sparked a short-lived ‘frenemies’ type of relationship ― of course the older boys weren’t scared of two kids who had only just figured out the ego-boost of developing muscle, they were more fearful of Jisung’s older brother as they knew damn well how ruthless he could be; they didn’t want the risk of dealing with someone from the same genes, but Hyunjin and Jisung maintained it was their intimidation that warded the boys off. Jisung initially brushed off Hyunjin’s thanks, but there was a definite shift in their relationship: their sharp insults became sarcastic remarks that garnered a teasing response after the other, then after one incident they were friends. Hyunjin never told you the specifics of the incident and you never pushed, but it was essentially Hyunjin paying back Jisung for saving his ass ― though you later found out the only threat to Jisung at the time was himself. Regardless, Jisung and Hyunjin had discovered their compatibility and Minho had never been happier to see drama fizzle out. He wasn’t a fan of such petty disagreements, “all problems can be solved in this world, either with a fist or verbal expression.”

“Are you recommending violence?”

“It’s still honest communication.”

Lee Minho was truly one of a kind―all three of them were, but it was their varying ability to believe in themselves that set them apart the most.

The Hwang boy was smart, but he had no faith in himself. At the age of fifteen he’d already accepted that he wouldn’t go far academically, telling you “I’ll become one of those tradies that gets wolf whistled when I’m trying to do my job, and no one will say a damn thing because I’m a male,” you could remember him taking a short drag of the nicotine stick, “that’s my inevitable future.” That was one of the many ways you contrasted Hyunjin. You wanted to make your father finally accept you as his child again, and the only way to do that seemed to be success ― but at this point you weren’t sure what that looked like in his eyes; everything you perceived as a success was a comical failure to him. You didn’t smoke ― you tried once when you were fourteen and found it dreadful ― and you certainly didn’t shoplift chocolate bars or ‘train dodge’ like Hyunjin, but you still had your downfalls. Rather, you bury yourself in work you couldn’t understand, got pent up over the possibility of failure, and then turned it all in like nothing ever happened―nothing’s wrong. There was a lot wrong, Hyunjin and you both knew it, but neither ever voiced it. All you wanted was to make your father proud, but you always wanted to run away from this godforsaken town and never come back. Hyunjin wanted you to stay around, the kid couldn’t afford to lose another person in his life, but he knew it was your choice at the end of the day―you had to do what was best for you. It was just difficult to accept. It was like life had kicked Hyunjin and rolled all over him, yet you managed to bring a tiny little spark of life in his soul, something that brought him to carry on. You were his rock, you understood him more than he understood himself most of the time. He loved you, not romantically, but in the way people who have no one else who get it love each other, you know?

He realised he loved you in that way when he was thirteen, after he had his first existential debate with you ― it became a monthly tradition after that: one night you’d silently climb into the treehouse with puffy eyes and a red-tinged face, and he’d never question it because he knew you’d tell him it was fine. Then you’d wonder what happens after death and where you went. Hyunjin had always been firm on the idea there was a Heaven and Hell due to his long standing religious beliefs, and he always assumed he was going to Hell, but those midnight talks always made him realise just how unsure he was about everything ― he didn’t know what or who to believe, but he eventually decided he probably didn’t need to.

Hyunjin realised he had fallen in love with you when you were sixteen, after Jisung and Minho had convinced the two of you to spend your Saturday doing an ‘adventurous hike’ with them ― you didn’t know it at the time, but the two had found out some pricey drugs had been dropped in the woods, and neither of them were in a situation to refuse the money that would come with selling those substances. The two boys were energetically bounding ahead of you and the tallest boy, Hyunjin and yourself dawdling on the train tracks to avoid any shattered glass mixed in with the gravel surrounding the rails, trying your best to avoid being cut through the thin and worn soles of your shoes. Hyunjin squinted at the sunlight, distracted by his own thoughts and daydreams, too distracted to realise Jisung and Minho had stopped dead in his tracks. He bumped into the older of the two, startling him back to reality with confusion, “dude, what the fu―” his voice trailed off as he watched five men ― as in full grown, adult, ‘probably from a gang’ type of men ― snarl at the four of you. Though, their eyes seemed to be trained on Minho.

“Lee Minho. You said you wouldn’t come around here anymore, didn’t you?”

For the first time in his life, Hyunjin saw genuine fear on Minho’s frame as he shifted his eyes and gulped softly; clearly they’d made a grave mistake.

“Y-yeah,” for you, that was the moment you became alarmed. Lee Minho, the self-proclaimed ‘King of Confidence’, doesn’t stutter, “I know, man. I-I must’ve lost track of where we were, you won’t see me around here anymore. I’m not here to cause you any trouble, nothin’ like that,” he spoke rapidly, desperation seeping through his usually nonchalant tone. One of the men eyed the four of you suspiciously, straining his vision on you for far too long―Hyunjin sensed it, pulling you out of his line of vision with a glare. He was always one to protect his friends, reckless enough to put himself in danger to do so, it was nothing new for any of you.

“I better not see you around these parts anymore, Lee. You got it?” Minho nodded firmly, “good. Now go,” the man waved his hand in a dismissive motion, “run along with your friends.”

To Hyunjin, Jisung and yourself, that was your que to turn around and never look back; but Minho knew these men, you didn’t. The oldest knew it would never be that simple, and that became evident when he saw the shining tip of a dagger being pulled from one of their pockets. The four of you reacted fast, running purely on fear; Minho frantically pushed whoever he could reach, without looking, in the opposite direction, urging you to run as fast as you could to get the fuck out of there. Hyunjin grabbed your wrist securely, tugging you in the other direction and refusing to slow down for a second, even when he heard Minho and Jisung yelling distantly. Your legs slowed down slightly until the both of you stopped in your tracks, much to the dismay of Hyunjin.

“Hyunjin, we have to go back.”

“They can handle themselves, Y/N.”

“We can’t just leave them!” You pleaded, gesturing to the distant figures of your two friends.

“And I can’t lose you!” Hyunjin yelled back, startling you into a momentary silence. It was built on uncertainty, confusion and hung heavily in the air for a few seconds, until the sound of approaching footsteps, the sound of frantic running to be exact, and Minho’s frantic yells of “move your fucking asses! Run!” broke the tranquility.

You didn’t find out what Jisung and Minho had argued about until you were twenty-one years old and attending Minho’s funeral: “When I was sixteen, he was going to risk his life to save myself and my two other friends. We yelled at each other; I couldn’t leave him behind to get beat up or blatantly killed by the people who confronted us, but he couldn’t let me in harms way. I only found out why he cared so much and risked his everything, all the time, three years after it happened. But, that’s a secret we all promised to take to the grave.”

All four of you promised to keep that secret ― you’d all promised Minho that you wouldn’t out him, have his parents disown him during or after his life, and you all took that to the grave. Jisung lost the ability to love romantically when he was twenty-one; he’d given it all to Minho and allowed it to be buried with him. He wouldn’t have it any other way, though.

You were officially eighteen and two months, not that the months meant anything. Both you and Hyunjin were anxious about turning nineteen, yet he didn’t want to voice it and destroy the wall he’d built around a certain part of himself―his fears. Being nineteen meant he had to act like an adult: get a job, support his family until his parents found out he had enough money to survive on his own and kick him out, settle down and have his whole life figured out. Nineteen would mean the death of his youth: no more skipping chemistry because it was insufferable or only showing up for woodwork classes, no more train dodging because it was ‘immature’, no more stealing or the shop owners would actually make an effort to ensure his actions had repercussions since he was no longer a delinquent teen. The worst of all was the thought of losing his friends; he already saw Minho significantly less than he used to due to his two jobs ― a barber during the daylight and a bartender during the hours between ― Jisung would probably continue secretly writing poetry ― though the three of you secretly knew he did it ― and work as a truck driver, or something, to escape the dullness of your hometown for a little bit. You, Y/N the bright one, would probably go on to do great things with your life and be added to the list of friends he lost due to not being good enough anymore. Hyunjin wasn’t sure whether you or Jisung felt the same ― Minho excluded since he was already passed nineteen, with Jisung endearingly referring to him as ‘hag’ ― and a part of him didn’t want to know because he didn’t really want to think about it. Of course, that didn’t stop it from being the only thing on his mind twenty-four-seven. Hyunjin groaned inwardly; losing friends. You were just a friend. Hyunjin couldn’t help but scold himself. He could steal from stores without a second thought, stand in front of trains without fear, yet he couldn’t admit his feelings to you. Then again, your friendship spanned across most of his life, and losing that would mean he would lose you. And, frankly, you were the only thing that mattered to him in life. His parents neglected him, other friends had abandoned him over time or just failed to be there for him, but you never left. You stayed, even when you became far more intelligent than him and practically radiated potential. No matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t dare risk losing that. He couldn’t lose you, he’d told you that before ― although, when he thought about it, and he absolutely thought about it, he’d lose you regardless of what he did or didn’t say.

But, he had to put those thoughts aside. It was a fresh summer, after all, and there was supposedly no room for sadness in summer. There was only room for happiness, laughter, good vibes, getting high on the good vibes, or just getting high and conforming to the sickly summertime syndrome people were often infected with. Thus, Hyunjin had tried to spend the new season conforming to such a syndrome―excluding the fight where he was beaten within an inch of his life and had you fix him up, that probably didn’t fit the mold of a fun summer. It’d been successful to an extent ― the local pool had far too many people, including neglectful mothers attempting to flirt with the underage lifeguard Kim Sunwoo, and the beach was littered with shattered glass, plastic and cigarette ash mixed amongst the sand ― but the weather was still nice, and Hyunjin did play a soccer game in the park last weekend. That was it, though. The rest of his time was spent mowing the lawns of other houses for some extra cash, pocketing cherry lollipops and dealing decks of fifty-two cards for games that would be inevitably cheated in―like you were now. Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho were in a heated game of Go Fish, a cigarette dangling from Hyunjin’s plush lips and intoxicating the midday air, while you half-focused on the game in amusement, half-focused on the dusty comic book you’d flicked your way through. It’d been buried under many other prints of various comics, all neglected as time and puberty had lowered your interest in the bright illustrations. You couldn’t remember ever reading this one though, it was probably one of the rare collections Hyunjin refused to share through his childhood. A huff passed the lips of the oldest as he lost yet again, mumbling something about disrespectful youths and how they had obviously cheated. Jisung snickered, earning a wack in the gut from an agitated Minho. He scooted over to sit beside you, reading over your shoulder in an attempt to show his disinterest in the card game ― though it really just made him look like a sore loser, and it was quite clear he had zero interest in the childish story you held. A frustrated groan sounded as he threw his head back against the wall, as dramatic as ever.

“I want to go outside,” he complained.

Hyunjin scoffed, “there’s the door,” gesturing to the entrance with sass.

“No,” Minho hissed and narrowed his eyes. Man, he was really spending too much time with those cats, “I want to go outside outside. Like, camping or something.”

Jisung threw his hands up in defeat, “well, why didn’t you say so!” He exclaimed in exasperation, “I’ve got everything you need to go camping! No one in my house uses it.”

Oh, Jisung’s house. What a nightmare that was―or, rather, looked like. It was dilapidated with a rusty truck parked in the driveway, a large shed in the back acting as storage for years of hoarding, of course there’d be something for camping in there. Jisung had once told you that most of the stuff in the shed belonged to past owners who never returned to get it and he’d, for some reason, seen it as a tradition that has to be carried through each owner. You didn’t press the idea or criticise it, the boy seemed really excited about it after all.

“Welcome to my shed of wonders!” Jisung introduced. It was so, so, dusty. You were almost certain some of the junk within the metal sheathing dated back to the 19th century, maybe the 18th if you really analysed the dilapidated furniture and crumbling artefacts. Jisung hummed in thought, “there’s gotta be a tent in here somewhere…” He strolled into the shed, seeming to know exactly what to move and how far. The rest of you stared at the collection in awe―you kind of understood why Jisung prided himself on the contents of his shed, some of those things would make a good buck on Antiques Roadshow and keeping them must’ve given Jisung some sort of positive emotional release, perhaps a feeling of “I have a get rich quick scheme, I’m just choosing to be poor”. Probably made him feel better when people gave him crap for not being able to afford cool toys as a kid. You’d never seen the torment Jisung received, nor did he ever desire to speak about it, but Minho had been vocal numerous times in his distaste for the way the younger was treated. Jisung had a heart of gold, something Hyunjin could acknowledge even when they didn’t get along. He was the kind of boy who deserved nothing but greatness; he was destined for greatness. You could always pray the town didn’t suck the potential out of him, as it did to most others, but you knew those kinds of prayers go unanswered. Jisung’s epiphanic “a-ha!” derailed your thought train, your eyes shifting to see the brunette male pulling a large tent from one of the many, almost overflowing, storage units.

Hyunjin squinted his eyes in confusion, “how did you even find that?”

“It looks a hundred years old,” Minho added.

The youngest male rolled his eyes at their comments, dusting off the green tent. An excited smile graced his face as he turned to face the three of you, “alright, where should we go?”

The sun beat down on you, a light sheen of sweat glistening over your burning skin. How long had it been? Thirty minutes, an hour, two hours? You hadn’t a clue. The last time you ventured down railway tracks you ended up running in fear of men who had a vendetta against Minho―for reasons you’d soon find out. The oldest had evidently learned his lesson, guiding everyone in the opposite direction and away from any men with reasons to stab him for walking in their ‘territory’. Hyunjin dawdled beside you, eyes trailing the railway the four of you walked along. Minho was leading the group, Jisung chewing his ear off in a conversation that probably didn't interest the older, something about the spirits in the woods you were approaching. You could barely make out the faint scoff that passed Minho’s lips, but the younger seemed to hear it clear as day.

“I’m serious! If we don’t get murdered in our tents then we get murked by demons in these damn woods!”

“Is there an outcome where we don’t die on this trip?” Hyunjin questioned with amusement, effectively closing the younger’s mouth and halting more words from spilling out. Minho rolled his eyes at the short bickering, trudging through the forest with an impatient yell, “come on! I want to get there before the sun sets.” It was a dark and dank environment, the air felt musty and thick around your lungs. Trees were overgrown, roots seeping along the dirt trail and serving as tripping hazards. Light dimmed under the cavern of green leaves, yet shadows still managed to dance in the slivers of golden rays. It was tranquil, but also unnerving. In retrospect, it was probably the childhood tales of drug deals gone wrong that put you on edge. Even if it was pure fiction, naive belief was enough to trick your mind into feeling unsafe, watched, hunted. If you ventured alone your fear would have pushed you to the other side of the trail at a much faster pace than you currently maintained, but, of course, you weren’t without company. The aura of discomfort and fear gently wafted in the air ― stronger from the likes of yourself and Jisung, though minimal to non-existent from the two other males. Those two had been fearless since you met them―Hyunjin stood in front of trains for an adrenaline rush! Then again, you weren’t entirely sure as to whether that was fearlessness or recklessness. They were one and the same to that boy.

The group passed through the forest until you found a clearing, a large field with a distant fence to halt you from further adventuring. It appeared to be the outskirts of town, past where anyone would travel for purposes other than hiking or illegal business. Hyunjin stood still with his hands rested on his hips, observing the area, “oh, this’ll do. This’ll do just fine.”

Your eyes rolled at the antics of your best friend, trust Hyunjin to say something straight out of an 80s movie―at least, it sounded like it would be. Jisung strolled ahead, hot on the heels of Hyunjin as they ventured through the long grass. Minho eyed the ground suspiciously, hesitance floating through his orbs before mumbling, “there better not be any snakes around here.” His words clearly weren’t as quiet as he had hoped, as Jisung stumbled away from the grass with a sharp gasp at the announcement. A huff passed Hyunjin’s lips at the other boys’ dramatics, causing you to shift an eyebrow in question―he had no right to be judgemental, he was the most dramatic of all.

“Chill out, you buffoons. There’s short grass ahead, we’ll set up there,” well, that made sense. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Jisung stumbled to his feet and worked to catch up with Hyunjin’s footsteps.

The process of setting up a tent had been… difficult, to say the least ― “Jisung, how the fuck do we set this up?” “Just read the instructions?” “They’re in Russian!” ― though the four of you eventually managed to successfully pitch the tent. Though, in all honesty, the sun had started to set by the time it was standing. That was at least an hour ago. Now, you lay still in your sleeping bags and mumbled descriptions of distant memories and under-developed universal theories.

“Hyunjin, move your irritatingly long legs so they’re resting somewhere other than my feet,” Minho grumbled.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Your mind wandered back to the adventures of that day, dawdling across train tracks and praying none of the smoking vehicles came running up behind you. The memory struck you like lightning; you remembered the time you dawdled down the wrong train tracks and ran for your life. A slight laugh passed your lips at the image of your younger self frantically running, “hey, do you remember when we tried to almost got murked by that gang on the outskirts of town?” Hyunjin mumbled an agreement, a fond smile on his face. Jisung piped up to laugh about how he almost ‘shit his lungs out of his ass’. Although you were able to laugh now, you all knew there was nothing funny about the primal fear you felt in that moment. The fear of the unknown; of death. Silence settled over the four of you momentarily before Minho voiced new information softly.

“I almost killed one of them.”

Jisung just about shot up in his sleeping bag, “what?” he exclaimed.

Minho maintained his characteristic calm composure as he explained, “yeah, it was a few months before we went down there. I was still hanging out with Hongjoong and that gang,” ah, the days of Minho being a gang. They were fond―somewhat fond―memories, “one of them had beat up Mingi, got the wrong guy or something, so Hongjoong and I went after him.”

In all honesty, you never knew Kim Hongjoong very well, nor did you remember much about him. You were never close with him and he’d moved away before any sort of friendship could bud, but you knew Song Mingi well―rather, you knew of him. He was a bubbly kid, tall and friendly with a goofy smile. There was something about him that exuded innocence and happiness, like he was crafted by embers of the burning yellow ball in the sky.

“We didn’t mean to get him that bad, but we couldn’t stop ourselves,” Minho mumbled softly, his mind wandering off to a different space as he blurted out the words, “Mingi didn’t do anything.”

The three of you shared a look before turning back to focus on the oldest, his face blank as his eyes clouded over with thought, concern, nostalgia. Hyunjin cleared his throat awkwardly, “well, it’s in the past now. We learnt to never travel down those tracks again,” he shifted around in his sleeping bag and closed his eyes.

Jisung had proposed the idea of keeping someone on lookout, claiming he didn’t want to get “fucking murked by a coyote or something”. There was the initial suggestion of taking shifts, but Jisung didn’t seem willing to take up the role and Minho said he was “too old to skip sleep”. Hyunjin didn’t give you a chance before saying he’d stay up all night ― of course he wasn’t actually planning on staying up all night, just until Jisung had knocked out for long enough to be unaware of the lack of surveillance. It didn’t matter, though, you both ended up out there after you tossed and turned for a solid thirty minutes. The wind was howling, the tent thrashing from side-to-side at the sharp movements of air. Hyunjin sighed with discontent, “why didn’t we check the forecast before we left?” A light chuckle passed your chapped lips.

“Because the forecast is never correct,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes at your matter-a-fact tone, a slight smile gracing his moonlit features. It was very clear in that moment — and many others, if you were being honest with yourself — why so many girls had thrown themselves at him over the years. All of that started in your first year of school, when a pigtailed girl claimed it was Hyunjin’s neat cursive writing that attracted her, not his cute face—of course that was a crock of shit, it had always been about Hyunjin’s face. It shouldn’t have been, but people were shallow like that.

His visuals had never crossed your mind, not until your early teenage years at least. You were thirteen when it first struck you, bundled up in sleeping bags in your best friend’s lounge room watching some teen movie. It wasn’t something you focused on, your eyes had drifted to your giggly friend and refused to move. His hair was black, dark eyes curved into crescent moons as he attempted to stifle laughter at the current scene. Skin smooth, blue winter pyjama shirt buttoned up to the collar and a pillow clutched between his arms. With a tilted head, he turned and stared back at you with curiosity, “what is it?”

You look perfect. “Nothing,” you smiled tightly.

“What are you thinking about?” The question passed Hyunjin’s lip in a voice of honey and warmth, comforting in the midst of the vicious whipping wind.

You shrugged slightly as you formulated an excuse, “just the future. What I’ll do after school,” Hyunjin hummed solemnly. He didn’t like talking about the future, mainly because it brought in thoughts of losing everyone and everything he’s ever loved. He didn’t want to think about a world where that happened, even if it was inevitable, though the words manage to spill out before he could catch them.

“Will I ever lose you?”

You were dumbfounded. Lose you? Of course he’d never lose you, “how could you ever lose me? I won’t let you, Hwang,” you attempted to brighten the glum atmosphere.

Picking at his cuticles, he shrugged his shoulders slightly, “I’m not good enough for you, I’ll never be enough for you.” A frown formed on your lips at Hyunjin’s pessimism, eyebrows furrowing in satisfaction and sadness. You never knew he felt so little of himself.

“Hey,” the word was spoken gently from your lips, hands reaching out to cup Hyunjin’s face and turn him towards you. He still had a scratch on his lip from that last fight he was in, “you are more than you think, Hyunjin. So much more,” the glaze of your eyes held such sincerity and honesty, “you can do anything you want, man,” yet Hyunjin still couldn’t make himself believe you.

Eyes downcast, “yeah,” he mumbled distantly, “anything.”

The four of you walked home in a comfortable silence the next morning, accepting it would be the last time any of you felt this free.

At the age of twenty-one, Jisung became distant. It was understandably so, Minho had been found dead and was buried within a week of the discovery. There was no proper time to grieve about the loss, everyone expected you to go back to work as if nothing had changed—nothing’s wrong. Everything was wrong, so fucking wrong. Jisung and Minho were never ‘official’ because neither of them had the bravery to face discrimination for being something other than straight. You never knew whether Minho was homosexual or bisexual, even pansexual maybe, but it never mattered. All you could wish was that he was happy, at least once, before he was laid to rest. Jisung closed himself off, became a silent and reclusive man who lived on the outskirts of town. He was a truck driver, swinging between different towns before inevitably returning to the one that seemed to have something against him. It sucked the life from him, it took everything from him; he hated that fucking town. You didn’t see him after Minho’s funeral, not in the way friends see each other, at least. Of course you’d spot him in town occasionally, exiting his house or driving back home after weeks away. Yet, you never spoke a word to him. Never said a ‘hi’, never wanted to speak in case it pushed him too far—broke him, if you will. Rather, you let him seclude himself and suffocate in loneliness; if only you didn’t make that foolish mistake.

When you were twenty-three you bid your goodbyes to Hyunjin, planning to move away and pursue a career that, frankly wouldn’t make you happy, but it would give you enough money to pay rent for a good place. That’s all you really needed, you supposed. Hyunjin bid his last goodbyes with a letter. It was written in his beautiful handwriting, the calligraphy style he liked to brag when he was younger, but seemed to have forgotten about as he emerged into his teenage years — he never forgot, he still prided himself on such perfect penmanship. It was a letter that contained words you never expected your best friend to say, though always secretly hoped to hear. It was a letter that slapped you across the face for being so blind and cowardly. It was a letter about how he fell in love with you, too hard and too fast, and how he always knew you’d be too good for him, one way or another. You hated when Hyunjin put himself down with such words, but you hated knowing that you caused most of them. The boy was incomparable, so unique and one-of-a-kind. There would never be another Hyunjin in your life, never one to take your heart and treat it as his own. Hyunjin was more than he thought. So, so much more.

“I love you, more than you know. In more ways than a platonic-friendship-type of love. The kind of romantic love that’s, probably, unrequited,” Hyunjin, you foolish boy, your love has never been unrequited.

Perhaps you were the fool, not Hyunjin, for keeping your mouth shut about your secret attraction for years. Heaving a sigh, your hands folded the letter closed, you were such a fool.

In your life, you had three great friends that taught you many lessons — many lessons they failed to learn themselves.

Minho often preached about staying true to who you are, exuding confidence in your identity and being fearless of others. Yet he failed to accept who he was, though that was fair enough in your opinion. He had his own struggles, many struggles, but never wanted to confront them. Minho never wanted to confront, let alone accept, the possibility of being subjectively weak; he struggled under the pressure to conform to masculinity—no weaknesses whatsoever. Gosh, that boy was one of the strongest you knew. One of the kindest, too, a heart of gold, truly. That boy didn’t deserve to die, none of your friends did.

Jisung often told you to be careful with your feelings, yet easily gave his away to Minho. The boy had always had an eye for detail, noticing the veins in leaves and miniscule dirt stains on a vintage photograph in his shed, but he tended to overlook the bigger ideas. The things that were right in front of him, you supposed. He failed to notice how he gave away his feelings to one person so easily. He never noticed that he left no room for the regrowth or reacquisition of those feelings, but maybe he just didn’t care. Minho made him feel so peaceful and at ease, how could he find it within him to care?

Hyunjin, where did you start with Hyunjin? Your friend since childhood, your first love, someone you’d never be able to forget—someone you’d never allow yourself to forget. He taught you to be bold, a little reckless to spice up life — though not ‘stand in front of a train’ type of recklessness. He spent years teaching you to overcome your struggles, though you felt as if you failed to tend to his. Of course, he’d never see it that way, but he was head over heels for you. Just as you were for him. The boy had always been talented, insanely so, with perfect handwriting and a unique perspective on the inner workings of life, ambitions and dreams. There was so much potential held inside his body, marked with scars and bruises from the fights he’d had through the years. He’d always told you to never settle for anything less than perfect. Perhaps that’s why he never wanted you to settle for him: he never saw himself as perfect. You wanted him to do the same, go as far as he possibly can to fulfil his limitless potential. But, that didn’t happen—life could never treat him kindly. Hyunjin never made it out of that shitty town. It pained you to think about it — he could’ve been anything, anyone. He had so much potential, yet that place sucked it away and kept him in an iron grip. When you thought about it, you realised none of your friends got lucky like you. One way or another, they all stayed in that town—dead or alive, it didn’t matter, they all remained. Many would’ve seen that as luck being on your side, but without at least one of them by your side—without Hyunjin by your side—what was the point of going?

Walking back into that town had never felt so eerie. Nothing was the same as you remembered. Visually, nothing changed, yet at the same time everything had changed. You were no longer a young adult searching for opportunities, no longer a teenager stressing over school work, or dragging yourself to the treehouse in the middle of the night to tend to Hyunjin’s wounds. You wondered if that thing was still intact. That’s not why you were back in town, far from it, but something ate away at you. Was your rickety hangout still standing? Or had it fallen apart after all of you left, in more than one way.

There was no noise coming from within the wooden confines of the treehouse. You were glad it was still there, even if no one used it. It felt like you were running on autopilot, your feet guiding you up the ladder as you opened the hatch to pull yourself into the space. You swore it was bigger than this. Eyes darted around, taking in the old drawings on the walls, outdated comics and dusty packs of cards. Nothing had changed. You gasped, startled, as you made eye contact with another person, sat in a slightly slumped position across from you. The corner of their lip was slightly bloody, a cigarette dangling from the other side. A reminiscent smirk crawled on their lips, it couldn’t be.

“Long time no see, darling,” he hadn’t changed one bit, “and just in time! You can patch me up before the service.”

There was a bitterness in his tone, one you could taste on your own tongue as you contemplated the right words to say. It was mockingly cheerful, like he knew everything was falling apart and there was nothing that could stop it ― who are you kidding, that’s exactly what was happening ― “because that’s the only reason people ever return to this town, right? To mourn the ones that’ll never leave.”

Words couldn’t pass your lips. There was so much you wanted to say: questions, nonchalant agreements, apologies. It was bittersweet, really, to be meeting like this. It was like old times. A bloodied Hyunjin sat against the wall of the treehouse, nonchalant in the pain of being beaten up, fully prepared to be patched up by your delicate, unbruised hands. But everything was different. Minho no longer whinged over losing a card game, Jisung no longer cheated his way to success in said card games. They’d stopped doing that years ago, and it was an activity they could never engage in again. Hyunjin noticed the despair clouding your gaze, guilt etching your face. A frown creasing his face as he caught your train of thought―you had a habit of blaming yourself, feeling guilty about nothing.

“It feels weird, doesn’t it?”

You nodded slightly, “almost... wrong.”

Hyunjin tossed aside the cigarette, crushing it under his shoe before he opened his arms welcomingly. You didn’t realise how much you’d missed him until the moment you crawled into his arms―you missed all of them. All you wanted was to say one last goodbye to Minho, one last goodbye to Jisung. To thank them for everything, tell them how hard they worked, how incredible they were to be around. Fuck, you missed them so much, you couldn’t help it. Tears were already falling and staining Hyunjin’s t-shirt before you could even attempt to keep them in. A solemn sigh passed his lips, hand stroking your hair as a form of agreement. He’d always fantasised about having a solid friend group that lasted into adulthood, then into the elderly ages. A part of him knew it would never end that way, but he didn’t think this would be the outcome of your friendship circle. When he pondered the potential loss of contact he always assumed it would be a result of moving on to better things, better places and people. He couldn’t help but think back to that camping trip; it was the most carefree time in his life. None of you could’ve ever imagined this outcome ― you could imagine moving away and losing contact over time, you couldn’t imagine being pulled apart by something out of your control. You didn’t want to, but who would? The idea of your friends being taken before their time―before you deemed it to be their time―was almost as upsetting as it actually happening. Life and death, it was a torturous cycle for everyone involved. Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut as fear bubbled in his chest, the fear of losing you all over again. He tightened his grip on you, what tragic lives we’ve led.

“And then there were two.”

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