If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?
Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references.
(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)
Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.
Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.
“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.
“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane.
The girl just shook her head.
She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”
“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.”
“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...”
With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her.
“I can’t let you do that.”
Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.”
Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”
“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”
Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”
“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“You just pity me because I’m young.”
“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.
“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”
A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.
“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”
“Of course.”
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Episode Eleven: To a New World
Deep breaths. Uh, pre-emptive apologies; I keep the tightest grip I can over my tone, but this ep sliced me off at the knees. There's a lot of anger in it.
I like Wolfwood. Lots of people do. And I like Knives. Besides Vash himself they pop up on my dash more frequently than any other character. Maybe I like Knives more than Wolfwood because I enjoy poking his horrible trash brain with a stick, but Nick's certainly got his charms.
But I can't get around it. This is the episode where Knives... violates Vash. And this is the episode where Wolfwood turns his back as Vash is screaming in pain and despair, reliving all the worst moments of his life. For reasons (I'M WORKING ON IT and they're not that Meryl is The Girl), Wolfwood was never going to be the one to save Vash from his agony. Back in the initial watch, before I knew anything else, I knew it just wasn't going to happen.
So, sorry, Nick - you’ve had a rough time, but I still giggled when Meryl kicked you in the shin as you tried to pretend you didn't give a shit. I needed the levity. Off you go, brood over your sins and the whatnot. I'm sure Vash is gonna be just fine.
And you, Millions Knives. Today it's the tire iron.
This is the first time we finally see him fully revealed - full face, cloak discarded, even his thoughts themselves laid bare. (By the way, he's not actually naked; that's just a very, very tight bodysuit. I think he wears it so he looks like his idea of what a Masculine Plant is, like an Italian Renaissance sculpture. Also pretty sure he made it himself. Without it, he'd look just as human as Vash does.) Knives spends a lot of time talking, often very passionately... but you still cannot trust anything he says to be the truth; not about himself, not about Vash. At best, there might be a tiny sprinkle of truth prettying up a great big lie. Or he genuinely believes what he's saying; it's just that he's confidently wrong. I don't doubt, for instance, that Vash really is motivated by a lot of guilt over the Fall, not least because Knives was the one who put that guilt on Vash and left it to slowly consume him. Nonetheless I always think back to the line, "Does their praise cure it? The loneliness?" because, well, no? It doesn't? Because that’s not the point. Vash doesn't do what he does for praise or to avoid loneliness. If you try and tell him he's good at something he brushes you off - "just lucky!" and then he's vanished through the backdoor before you can thank him.
Similarly, we see a moment where Knives just straight up changes reality to suit his narrative - when poor Rollo called for Vash, he said that he wanted to live. In Knives's world, he begs Vash for death.
When Knives says these things, it's not accurate criticism of Vash, or of his philosophy, or even anything to do with the Plants. It's not the truth. It's not an argument. It's a probe.
Especially in this episode. Knives is trying to rip Vash open. He’s searching for the points where he can apply pressure - the most efficient means to break him down. How true his words are is not relevant. Only whether or not they hurt Vash, weaken his resolve, undermine his ego and confidence - which he already barely has anyway because of Knives.
Why the hell would he do this? I mean, as much as I can be sure of anything with this guy, I’m sure that Knives loves Vash very much. His brother might well be all that he loves - all that he has left. We can argue about what kind of love (though it's really not a debate I want to get into, so I’ll capitalise the words Very Normal and leave it at that). But it is love. Forget about the higher plane and the dependent Plants (which is to say I'll try and find a way to get down my thoughts on them, but not at this time). Knives is doing what he’s doing because he loves Vash.
Specifically, he’s doing it so that Vash won't leave him.
Imagine how the moments before the crash must have felt for Rem. Every second counts in an emergency, and yet she took the time, perhaps selfishly, to ensure her children escaped before anyone else. I think she'd already decided to go back for the sleepers, but the longer she went without doing so the less possible it became and the harder it got to keep her resolve. Still she took those precious moments, the last they ever had together, for the love of her boys. A chance was all she had to give them, but her work was done too soon.
And Nai. With the knowledge of the rest of the series he was acting so calm because he planned this, and it went just the way he expected it would – until the moment he reached out his hand, and Rem said no. We don't see his face, but we do see Vash, pleading desperately, thrown hard back into his seat, and it was Nai who did that when Rem refused him.
Remember? Nai offered Rem a choice.
So to Knives, that left Vash to be only thing in the world that matters as much completing his crusade. I suspect he views the two as the same goal – having Vash back means killing the humans, and killing the humans means Vash is his. His and Vash's safety, togetherness, and freedom means there must be absolutely nothing left of humanity.
Even if it's the intrinsic humanity of his brother. (And of him. But he's not going to acknowledge that. Nope.)
So Knives didn't simply want Vash without his memories. Knives is a perfectionist - he hates to even admit to the possibility that he might have made a mistake, to the point where he assigns all blame for his actions to Vash. Vash's emotional development under his total control would be too unpredictable, too likely to fail. If given a choice, Vash could make the same choice that Rem did (again), and that risk is simply unacceptable.
So what Knives wants is for Vash to be without autonomy, devoid of independence - a shadow that he casts, empty of agency save that which Knives enacts through him. A graven image. Depending only upon him. Needing only him. If it means he'll finally be first before humanity, rather than alongside or behind them, he won't be all alone. It's only together that they can be perfect, because it's obviously what Vash is for.
After all, they're twins. Vash was born to be with Knives.
I'm sure he's just happy to be useful.
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