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parkers-gal · 3 years

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i was watching justice league yesterday and just thought how amazing it would be to see ww! reader... maybe she helping the avengers in a scene like the one in london or save some of them with the shield or the lasso of truth or something like that, they are soooo impressed and peter falls in love instantly, but is insecure because doesn’t feel enough for a goddess (idk if you write for DC characters, but I would love to see you write something like this)

how did i not realize this was in my inbox??? hello this is so cute pls.

okay major fun fact about me, tho: i used to be a REALLY big DC fan before i got into marvel… my flash obsession bye (but i got into marvel bc of DC so ty<3)

let’s pretend all the avengers were in this first movie <3 also forgive me bc i haven’t seen WW84 (also didnt watch the link until after i wrote this so sorry :( but it still works i hope??)

wc | 1.4k (sorry)

—

When you first came to London, it was just for a small case regarding spilled secrets between private spies and assassins. Now, though, you’re quite aware of the fact that the Avengers have another fight to finish.

You get the notification that something is going wrong at the art museum a few blocks away. Suiting up, you make your way over to the scene, but soon discover that the man from the news headlines — Loki, god of mischief — is currently fighting Captain American and IronMan.

You curse under your breath but try to find a way to enter the situation without making your arrival too public. You circle around a few times, observing the way Loki works and fights. You realize he’s duplicating just to try and keep a few hostages for publicity.

Spider-man and Black Widow are both helping citizens escape, allowing the other two Avengers to do all the heavy work. Tony uses some blasters from the suit to momentarily slow Loki, but he ends up getting angrier and throwing in a couple hits and blasts. Tony is thrown back, giving Cap the opportunity to throw in his own punches.

From your peripheral vision, you can see Clint, who’s flying the quinjet, telling Vision and Wanda to step out and help Spider-man.

Your attention is drawn back to Loki when Captain America throws the shield at him. Tony is on the floor, and Loki easily bounces the shield in another direction, unattainable to Cap.

Without hesitation, you catch the shield, the noise announcing your arrival. All eyes turn to you, powerful and ready to fight.

With all your might, you throw the vibranium weapon back to Captain America, who catches it in shock. You’re running towards Loki while doing this all, throwing in a couple punches before you're thrown backward. You flip, landing in an impressive position.

Weighing the possibilities, you decide to whip out the lasso. Nobody seems to be assisting you, so you decide to do your worst. Loki is taken by surprise; you’re slinging your rope until the lasso curls around his body and traps him against himself, forcing him to drop the scepter and answer any question thrown at him. The rope glows a golden hue, attracting the eyes of several other superheroes. They’re curious, and as you speak to them, they begin to understand.

You see movement stop as the scepter hits the floor with a clink. Loki struggles, rasping out a few staggered breaths and grunts. You need to gain leverage, so you wrap it around him once more before tightening your drip on the rope.

“Did she just-” “Kid, go get the scepter,” Stark shuts up Spider-man, giving orders. Hesitantly, he makes his way over to Loki, who’s surrounded by the golden glow of your lasso. He snatches the scepter, and Loki grunts, straining against the rope while Spider-man brings the weapon over to Tony.

“Do you know who that is?” Steve whispers to Tony and he shakes his head.

“I thought she was yours,” he whispers back. “Didn’t she fight in the war with you?”

“Not with me, but she fought… I think?”

“Who sent you?” You tighten the rope against him when he attempts to smile coily.

“Who wants to know?”

“Stand down,” Tony tells him, hand still pointed out.

“I have,” he smirks.

“Then why’re you still fighting my lasso?” You hold back a chuckle at his response, knowing he’s going to blurt some form of the truth.

“Because I need more time for a diversion.”

“Diversion? Tony, what’s he talking about?” Cap walks forward nervously.

Your grip on the rope tightens again and Loki’s face grows increasingly frustrated.

“New York,” he spits out. “What are you doing to me?!” He yells at you, and all at once, he yanks on the rope, pulling your forward and forcing you on to the floor. You’ve lost grip on the rope, and as you stand up, Loki is marching towards you with ready fists.

You bring your wrists together, in a haste to stop him. It’s so fast that nobody reacts, just merely watching you in your nature. The power from your wrists blasts Loki backwards, sending him flying towards the cement and eventually knocking him out.

You exhale, walking over to your rope, picking it up and reattaching it back to your waist. Wanda and Vision work on handcuffing the unconscious god, carrying him to the quinjet. The rest of the Avengers make their way over to you.

“Who are you?” Cap speaks first.

“Wonder Woman,” You state plainly, glancing from him to Tony to the boy in red spandex and then to Wanda, who’s approaching with Vision.

“Woah, so that’s the lasso…”

“Of truth,” you finish, smiling at the boy who knows of you. “Yeah.”

“Spider-man,” he introduces with a timid wave. “You were really great tonight.”

“Yeah, you were,” Tony agrees. “Would you mind coming with us to New York?”

“Is this about the PI assassin in east London?” You ask, uncuffing the metal from your wrists while stepping into the jet.

“You can just take that off?” Peter gasps.

“No, but you can tell me about that mission later,” Tony agrees. He unsuits, as do the rest of them. Cap removes his mask and places his shield in its rightful place. Tony loses the metal armor, and you watch as Spider-man removes the spandex mask (with Tony’s permission), revealing a messy mop of brown curls and a shy, boyish smile.

“I’m Peter,” he offers a handshake this time.

“Y/N,” you reply, shaking his hand. “Are you new here?”

He ponders the question, “Mr. Stark recruited me six months ago. I’m still in high school.”

You nod, “Me too.”

His eyes go wide, “You’re still in high school? And you get to do all this superhero work?”

“I have enhanced abilities so learning is kinda… easy?”

He nods in understanding. “I’m sure Mr. Stark will love that.”

“Kid, leave the girl alone.”

“Actually, i’m not a girl,” you assure him. “I’m from Themyscira, an island of the Amazon, home to the goddess warriors. I’m a descendent of the royal and the gods.” You pause to chuckle at the bewildered faces of the Avengers. “I’m a demigod, and a princess.”

Clint laughs, smacking Peter’s back shoulder. “Good luck getting that one, kid.”

Peter rolls his eyes but takes a seat as the quinjet takes off. He receives a few more teasing remarks, but you try to pay no mind to them. You notice, though, he’s chosen the seat that offers no opening for you, so you take a seat in the corner beside Wanda, striking up a conversation with the telekinesis.

You land in New York in less than an hour, and as you follow the group into the building, you run up to Peter.

“Hey, y’know, just because I’m a demigod doesn’t mean I’m not normal.”

“Yeah, but you’re…” There’s a hopeful glint in his eyes despite his tone being a little disappointed. “A princess.”

“And you’re Spider-man.”

“And you’re Wonder Woman, who’s a princess and a demigod.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, but you’re pretty cute.”

He goes beat red at the compliment, and the two of you continue the conversation into the facility.

Tony calls for you, and you realize you’ll have to leave Peter for a little while. Before you run off, though, you whisper something only he can hear.

“You’d be a prince, y’know.”

He goes red again, scratching his neck while he watches you run off in Tony’s direction.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x avenger!reader #peter parker x you #ww!reader #wonder woman!reader #superhero!reader #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker imagine #peter parker blurb #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fluff #peter parker fluffy #peter parker angst #royal!reader #princess!reader

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hellyeahheroes · 3 years

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Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro

#dc #robin #damian wayne #batman and robin #batman #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batgirl #barbara gordon #oracle #dick grayson #batfamily

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gangrenados · 3 years

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Ahem... I'm here to ask you to teach me the way

Lmao I see you post a lot about Jason todd (I followed you for other fandoms so I don't really know much about DC and such) BUT, all your red hood rambles and writing and art rebblogs has me hooked.

I wanna know about that dude. ALL about him! And something tells me ur the right one for that.

I'm glad my fixation got you interested in him, that's such an honor! 😫💕

Okay I'm kinda new in this whole DC thing as well so I'm sorry if I'm missing some info. For your knowledge I’m gonna talk about him as if he were an oc, you know those info pages about oc’s? yup

If you want a proper explanation watch Under the Red Hood or read Red Hood: the lost days and if you wanna know more about Arkham Knight then Arkham Knight: Genesis is your choice. Those are good guides tbh

Dios que hombre lpm 😫🤰🏽

•Jason is about 6'0-6'4 ,blue green-ish eyes, black hair, kinda pale (I would say a white tan if that’s a thing), black hair, built like a tank (230 lbs) and I think he's in his mid twenties maybe? I'm not sure.

• Jason is the second Robin, adopted by Bruce after he found him trying to steal the tires of the Batmobil.

•His new life in the Wayne manor gave him access to education, proper nutrition and also the chance to discover new activities as well. Jason's passion for literature and theater grew in those days.

• I want to point out here that Jason was a really smart kiddo, just impulsive (he still is like this, some things never change)

• He had a really rough childhood, none of his parents wanted him, in fact they trying to give to a mob to get out of debts when he was just a newborn. In less words: they were really fucking neglectful towards him.

•Anyway, Jason loved his time as Robin. It gave him magic™, but he was also insecure about not being good enough in this, he seemed to not like when others compared him to Dick (the first Robin)

•However, all of this came to an end when the Joker tricked him, tortured him and killed Jason in an explosion (in the Arkham Knight version the Joker tortured Jason for almost a year and shot him in the head)

•He was revived in the Lazarus Pit since Ra's al Ghul thought Bruce would like it and stayed with the League of Assasins for a while. He was trained by Talia aka daughter of Ra's and they had an affair, but nothing came out of it since Talia still had feeling for Brucie.

•Well, Jason hold grudges against the Batfam for a long time, specially with Bruce since he didn't avenge his death and killed the Joker.

•Jason felt that he never meant nothing to him, he felt betrayed. So he did his best to take down Batman.

•Red Hood in his words he was "the hero Gotham needed". He killed criminals and even became a crime boss at some point, the underdogs feard him.

•Red Hood had his limits though, he might put some lead in a criminal's head but will try to contain himself when a kid was involved, specially if they have a similiar story like him.

•Also he helps those who doesn't have resources and the defenseless. Bring home and medicine to shelters, makes sure dealers doesn't fuck with schools, tries his damn best to keep safe the sex workers of Gotham, etc. I'm not quite sure if this was a headcanon or if it's 100% canon tho

•Anyway, he later stoped his attempts to kill the Bat for a while a created a team with Arsenal and Starfire (later with Artemis and Bizarro) and now is a decent state of mind? yeah

•He also likes dogs, can cook pretty well, has a smoker past, is pretty damn good with guns, did I mention he was a crime boss?, theatre nerd and literature lover, might slap you if you say Shakespeare sucks lol and is pretty laid back in general, arrogant and sarcastic, but deeply insecure and can be self loathing sometimes.

•There’s a headcanon that says he has an autopsy scar across his chest, like in this fan art:

•And the white streak comes from his resurrection in the pit, but sadly not many issues include it

-Right now there's a live action version of him in titans, but his story is slightly different from what I've told you.

He's more angsty and a ball of anger, but he has his sweets moments tho. I like how to actor played him as Robin, but I'm not so convinced about him being Red Hood.

-And there's the otherversion (my favorite if were being honest) were Matthew Daddario is his fancast, mostly in his Red Hood version.

I don't know, I think it fits him more

#hope this helped!#dc rant #jason todd #red hood

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cearamorran · 3 years

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HII Happy new year! I'm a huge fan of your work ToT and I want to ask for advice regarding my own. I'm a fellow artist here on tumblr and draw a lot of jaytim (there's a few pieces sprinkled in that are also DC, but mostly jaytim lol) and recently I've been getting comments like jaytim is incest and tim is underage so nsfw shouldn't be allowed etc. I'm torn on this. I love the ship and I don't want to stop drawing, but are they right? idk what to do pls help :')

I’m sorry I took so long to answer this! I had to think about it a lot, it’s a question that’s sure to spark a debate hahahah

My personal opinion on the matter is, it isn’t incest at all??? i’ve answered this a lot already, but again, they’re not blood related AND weren’t raised together. obviously adopted siblings are valid, but in the case of tim and jason they’re really just two guys that were adopted by the same guy a few years apart and have barely interacted with each other for most of that time since jason was busy being dead, then training w/ the league and other ppl etc. So, not incest.

As for the underage thing, I don’t draw NSFW art of underage characters, but since my take on Tim is around 18-19, it’s not a problem. I guess it all depends on what age your headcannon him as, but it’s a complex matter. As a 24 y/o myself, I don’t feel comfortable drawing nsfw content of underage characters, but i guess if a 16yo headcanons him as 16-17 and wants to write a smut fic or draw some nsfw of him, i’m not going to stop them? again, it’s a complex subject. I don’t think a 20 yo making nswf content of a 16-17 yo character automatically makes them a pedophile, but I think it is a delicate matter and one you need to consider and think about. I can’t tell you how to feel about it, as i’m still figuring it out myself. Just know that i consider tim over 18, and so any accusations of underage nsfw just don’t apply.

I know getting comments like this can be upsetting, especially if you’re kind of new to a fandom. I don’t get that many of them, but the ones i do get i just ignore and/or block the person who sent it, that way they don’t see my content and I don’t see their comments, we both get our way. It stops getting upsetting fast, and you’ll find yourself merely rolling your eyes at any message of that kind pretty quickly. It’s your blog and you should have fun, and these people need to get a hobby that isn’t raging over some fictional characters’ imaginary relationship.

I hope this was helpful, I’ve seen people drop the ship because of this, and I hope it won’t be your case, as i’d love to see some of your work! :D (DM me if you want, so i can follow you if I don’t already :))

#rant #ask #drama #??#probably

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scone-lover · 3 years

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Happy Birthday to Holding Out For a Hero!!! ❤️

art by @subparselkie

I published the first chapter of my longest and most popular fic just about a year ago! And I bet you always wanted to see some shitty outlines. Right? Just giving the people what they want. My brain is chaos and now you all have to be subject to it. Strap in, boys. 😂 Everything’s below the cut!

Read Holding Out for a Hero on AO3

This fic was born because I saw a tumblr post about a hero and villain who are roommates and I just had to Snowbazzify it. I had so many random ideas in my brain, and I’d been engaging with fan content for the CO fandom for a few months now.

So I started off by opening a blank document and writing the Prologue, featuring Shep. I had a few basic facts in mind: Shepard’s a reporter, Simon’s a hero, Baz is a villain, Mage is an evil mayor. And that’s. Literally it. I made it up as I went along. I actually still do that with fics, even though I do try to outline in more detail now—I have to write a scene or two that’s been bouncing around in my head to get a feel for the story, then I can give it a direction.

The document is 337 pages on google docs, LOL.

Here’s the first ever set of notes I had. I wrote this on March 29, 2020, directly after typing out the Prologue!

Like I said, absolute chaos. The third Simon bullet point originally said something like “also I’m a superhero and only Penny knows,” then the following day I changed it to “but he’s so handsome? what do???”

I didn’t publish the prologue until writing 5-6 additional chapters, but I think the only major change was going from Baz being “The Vampire” to just “Vampire.”

Chapter 1 was originally called “not a bloody avenger” before I decided to do the rhyming thing. I actually decided that because I wrote “counter spray and earl grey” down for chapter 2, unintentionally rhyming it, and then @ashspren-writes was like, “you should make them all rhyme”... so I did. 😂 For 25 more chapters.

I have a section labeled “quickie backgrounds” in which I finally sat down halfway through writing Chapter 2 (the blade/vamp fight) and said to myself, okay, maybe they should have backstories or something. Or like, reasons for being the hero and villain. Right, yeah, those would be good to make this into a coherent story. In the first version of that, Simon was a sports coach on the side, not a baker, and Baz was an English teacher. LOL.

Once I had all that, I literally just wrote for four days. There’s a weird kind of magic to your first-ever fic for a fandom. All your ideas and thoughts and wishes for these characters comes to a head as you suddenly have an outlet for the first time. It’s why I think people’s first works are often their best or most creative or most profound. The first couple chapters took some time and a couple 1am epiphanies, but once I got into a rhythm it was quick going. I wrote a lot of it in a linear manner, but after writing the first Simon/Baz scene (watching the news together in the flat), I doubled back and added Simon going to Penny’s house after meeting the Mage so that I could work her in as a character earlier.

Fast forward to April 5, I had 5-ish chapters written? I thought this fic would have like... 10 total. And be less than 20k. Haha. Ha. I asked @ashspren-writes to beta read for me - I’d been bouncing ideas off her since the beginning - and then I started brainstorming titles.

The list actually started with that second one. It took a whole 24 hours to decide on the final title. 😂 I thought it might be too cheesy. But hey, it worked out -- now I can’t open AO3 without the damn song getting stuck in my head.

I worked a LOT with my friend @ashspren-writes on this fic - we were friends long before fandom, and she was the only person I knew at the time who had read CO and was involved in the fandom. I didn’t even have a tumblr at this point, I interacted mostly through Instagram and AO3!

On April 6, right before I posted, I realized that if I was going to actually put this on AO3 I should probably know where the story was going. So I made sure Chapters 1-6 were complete, then I wrote one bullet point per chapter up until 12 or so -- you can read those below.

Then I texted ashspren THIS mess:

Some silly notes:

Then I have a section that says “Why do they even have roommates?” because it was a few chapters in and I hadn’t justified richboy Baz and superhero Simon... living together. Cool cool cool

I also did this cool little writing experiment I want to share. Remember that line in Fangirl that’s like—“Once Cath wrote what she thought was a swordfight, and Wren turned it into a love scene.” (Or maybe it was the other way around? LOL.) Anyway, there’s swordfights in this, AND love scenes, so I wanted to do a play on that for two alternate ways Simon might figure it out.

I have a huge Deleted Section in which I wrote an alternate version of Simon and Baz finding out about their secret identities. I have one version where Baz figures it out first—it’s a very tropey yet angsty scene where Simon comes home totally wrecked from a fight, and Baz realizes as he’s helping with the wounds that he caused them. I actually like it a lot, but it ended up not quite fitting with the vibe of the fic (and I rather like them finding out through kissing better). :) I also had an idea where Simon figures it out because Vampire smells like cedar and bergamot, but it really just wasn’t interesting enough. 😂

Now onto... Outlines.

I say that hesitantly because I think these are literally a disgrace to outlines everywhere. These are the baby ones I wrote on April 6 right before posting. Some are more detailed than others, clearly...

Gotta live up to my username somehow.

We do love to see it.

I love this next one: 😂 CHAOS, SCONEY.

THEN, I wrote this as a very long text to ashspren, when I realized no sconey, this is not going to be under 20k words. LOL.

And then I did A Dumb Thing and I put it on AO3, having absolutely NO CLUE WHERE THE STORY WAS GOING. 😂

This is my favorite heading on the document.

Another one of my favorite notes in there.

This next part wasn’t even divided into chapters yet, it’s just a word vomit. I’m so sorry you have to read this mess.

Hahaha, once upon a time there was angst in this story. 😂

And then I realized my true calling: bakery fluff.

Then and only then, I actually decided to divide into those things called Chapters. This is the point where I made the admission to mr scone (boyfriend, not husband lol, we just call him that) that I write gay fanfiction, whoops, and can he please help me because he’s a HUGE DC comics fan and knows everything. And of course, he was super chill about it, and he did. He really did. He’s the genius behind Egghead!!! And also the entire Mage-Humdrum-Supercomputer/Politics plot. I’m serious. I did none of that.

I can’t even say I’m trying anymore. “Flort”??? I AM LITERALLY NOT TRYING.

Why yes sconey, so very specific. 😂

This is what qualifies as a “good” outline for me, that heading was just for my betas. Isn’t it fabulous to see that some of this actually made it in and I’m capable of planning in advance? 😂

Get ready for the shock of your life, though -- I actually have a SUUUUPER detailed outline for the two finale chapters. Because, well, it’s the finale. Wrapping up loose ends does actually require planning, WHO KNEW. Also I’d been writing and posting for a couple months at this point and it had been several more weeks in quarantine so maybe I’d regained some sense of reality? It’s like two pages but still shittily written, so I’ll just share a couple tidibits.

That bullet point is extraordinarily cracky BUT actually, Baz shooting up from the cloud like an awesome fucking hot dramatic person was one of the very first scenes I envisioned for this fic :D

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my writing brain! It’s a terrifying place. I love all of you that say Holding Out For a Hero is a well-crafted masterpiece, but respectfully, no ❤️

(Though I swear I AM super, super happy with how it turned out - it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Read it here!!!)

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hexfloog · 3 years

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ARE U AN ANGSTY SHINICHI FAN??? SO TRUE cuz me too AHAH when i found out abt u and i saw ur art IM ACTUALLY FANGIRLING AJSHJSSHDH i hope i didn't weirded u out im just appreciating u i love ur arts sm 😭😭

Oh yes, 100%~ Angsty Shin, angry Shin, vengeful Shin, desperate Shin... you pick your poison, but tbh just Shin with More Emotion makes this one fan a very, very happy camper

Rambling below the break:

We get little samplings of heartfelt moments with Ran**-- perhaps the second most-frequently shown part of him, behind his cunning in relation to mystery-solving-- but being human is more than just swooning over childhood sweethearts and pursuing passions. Shinichi's shown to be dogged, sometimes quite tactless, and often a slave to the itch of case-solving - all things which can conflict with his base personality, which by contrast is shown to be compassionate, loyal, and caring when it needs to be. My favorite phrase when analyzing this series tends to be "the setup is there" and-- shocker-- here we are again, because... it is!! Shin is a house of cards facing a headwind but the writers seem to have glued it down and now it's difficult to topple even just one.

**[I realize the Entire Premise of the show complicates this relationship and forces it to be deeper than surface-level at times, but the solutions they present to the tough moments that come out of it have a fantastical element to them that skirts what is potentially uncomfortable-- and inherently Good Development-- for his character, which... *shakes fist* come oOoOoOnnnn... For convenience, plot or otherwise, he still seems to always find the easy way out but the emotional toll he MUST be suffering from doing this Every Time is not exactly apparent. Shin may be cynical or arrogant, but he isn't cold, so instinct assumes he must be feeling something.]

Shinichi strikes me as the type who would grow up to be a single-minded workaholic who tends to place the high of solving a case above his personal life, and all that that entails. He already doesn't have many friends outside of Ran and probably has a list of enemies at least twenty times as long. And to what end? Does that fill a void in him? For as long as the series has been going we've been given a disparaging difference in portrayal of saint vs. sinner-- with Shin being shown as a saint most of the time-- and as a result I absolutely lose my shit when even the slightest hint of Shin as a sinner is teased on-screen (even little things, such as offbeat comments like, "Threatening me, eh? [...] In the memo, does it say something like, 'I'm the type to retaliate if threatened?'").

When they get around to it, I think one of the stronger points of this series is character relationships-- especially those between Shinichi/Conan and the people around him, as he can come off as a bit robotic when the formula of the show is followed to a T-- but tbh they don't go far enough. DC isn't high art or anything, but I need more tastes of things like gray morality and self-doubt, I kind of need the saint character to have a tattoo in an unusual place (so to speak), and so I revel in content portraying angsty or emotional Shin: content, official or otherwise, which showcases that he's more than just a one-note protagonist.

SORRY I know nobody asked for this but if you give me the chance I'll absolutely just Go Off, lolol - I'm glad you found my page, and I'm even happier you enjoy my art!! Thanks for dropping by!

#ask #anon #dcmk #detective conan #kudou shinichi #shinichi kudo #headcanon #internal screaming hours #text

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gorogues · 4 years

Photo

Spoilers for Flash #762!

You can see the first few pages here.

Well, that's one way to defeat Eobard, and I'm glad Barry took it. He went the route of forgiveness, and while that in itself wasn't enough to get through to Eobard, peacefully centring himself in the Speed Force removed Eobard's status as a paradox and reset him back to his past with no memory of life as the Reverse Flash. The Reverse Flash's identity is once again unknown in the 25th century, and Eobard is now the kindly curator of the Flash Museum in that era. In other words, it's what his life should have been had things gone right.

No surprise that Curatorbard's favourite Flash is Barry, but it's nice to see that he's made room for everyone's favourite Flash; it's something DC and the readership could learn from. And we see that there's a Godspeed section of the Flash Museum, which directly contradicts Eobard's earlier claim that August was completely forgotten by the 25th century. So either history has changed or Eobard was just being cruel to him earlier, and either option is completely plausible.

Obviously, we can guess that at some point things will get undone or Eobard will regain his memory, and Professor Zoom/the Reverse Flash will run again. But this was an effective gamble which managed to avoid all the potential pitfalls we were expecting: Barry doesn't have the trauma of another murder on his conscience, Eobard isn't continuing his hellish cycle of death and rebirth (for now), and he doesn't even have to be trapped in suspended animation like has happened to him and other evil speedsters before. It was the compassionate choice for a man who probably didn't deserve it, and highlights Barry at his best. I'm honestly really glad he didn't kill Eobard, even if he ended the man Eobard was -- but that man was a threat to all of reality, as we've been discussing here recently.

And the other big news is that it seems Hartley and David are getting married! It's hinted in the barbecue scene, when Linda says to them "did you set a date?" So hopefully that gets followed up on soon by a future writer. Also great to see them hanging out with the Flash Family, which is long overdue.

Plus, Al makes an ominous cameo to set up his story arc after Williamson's run. He appears to be in prison again like he was before Flashpoint, still with his books, candles, and rats...it's always been funny how those candles aren't taken away as a fire hazard, but we know that Al basically does whatever he wants in prison so presumably the authorities have got no choice in the matter.

After the dust has settled, Barry goes to check various aspects of the timeline to ensure things haven't gone too haywire; as he notes himself, that was a distinct possibility once Eobard was reset. The Renegades, including Commander Cold, are alive and well in the future and the future itself is intact. The Tornado Twins are all right, and Grodd and the Rogues are back in their own eras. What's interesting -- and it may just be an art error -- is that Weather Wizard sure looks like his pre-Flashpoint self. However, it may just be a quirk of the art since he only appears in one panel.

And Barry runs past August's tombstone, finding it still there, but after he leaves its inscription begins to fade. So August may be alive again, and that makes sense because his murder probably didn't happen now that Eobard has been reset (more on this in a bit). It remains to be seen if another writer wants to pick him up in the future, and what his new status quo would be. Would he ever have betrayed Barry and then redeemed himself, or will they have always been friends? Was his brother still murdered? Time travel and paradoxes make everyone's head hurt, and that was essentially the point of the story arc with Paradox.

Barry had been interested in solving the murder of Heather Macy before the Legion of Zoom struck, and now finds that she's alive and well since Eobard was reset back to his good self. He speaks to her briefly, and learns that her husband (who'd previously been sentenced to death for her murder) has the surname of Thawne. That's interesting and may never be addressed again, but it raises the question of who exactly he is. One of Eobard's ancestors, perhaps, and maybe even Malcolm Thawne himself...the guy is blond, but we don't get a close enough look at him to see if he's Barry's twin.

We also see Barry talk to his dead mother, and it helps ease some of the grumpiness I've had about Barry's origin since she was killed. I've long been cranky about his new motivation to become the Flash, which was an obsession with the past and finding justice for his parents, when originally Barry had two happy living parents and became the Flash just because it was right. Here, Barry tells his mother "I'm the Flash because of what you taught me...because it's the right thing to do" even though she's still dead. It just remains to be seen whether DC will actually continue in that direction and leave the doom and gloom behind. I hope they do, though I'm not sure how much I believe they will.

Question is, why is Nora still dead even though Eobard was reset? August is apparently alive again. Did Flashpoint somehow cement her death in the timeline? Or is that plot point so important to DC that nothing can change it :>

I found this a very satisfying issue and finale to a long run on the Flash book. The series had its ups and downs, but I'll always be grateful for having much of pre-Flashpoint continuity slowly returned in the form of the Flash Family and long-missing Rogues, and concepts like the other Forces were introduced well. And while I love Eobard as Professor Zoom, part of me is sorry that this won't get to stick as the permanent ending to his story because it really is a great way to finish it forever. I hope he'll lie fallow for a while and get to be happy in the future before he returns to menace the Flashes again; that'd help with his recent heavy usage and prevent fan fatigue, and ensure that people are jazzed to see him again when he does come back. But we will see.

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bluegarners · 4 years

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If you're taking asks I would love to hear your thoughs about the Ric arc and the current state of Nightwing comics!!!!!!!!!! :))

Oh goodness, where to begin...

To start, I share a lot of the same opinions as @nightwingmyboi and @hood-ex ~~ they have very extensive and well thought out takes on the Ric Arc and the general direction DC has decided to take Dick Grayson with, along with his legacy of Nightwing. I highly suggest you read some of their posts about it, as they are very informative and probably more well versed in explaining opinions, haha!

So, my thoughts on the Ric Arc? Like most fans of Nightwing, I believe it kinda sucked ass. Like, sucked ass in the way where DC kinda just forgot characterizations (again), made it all about Batman (again), and ignored good side characters (Bea). The only thing positive I can really say about that whole arc was the art- I really enjoyed the take on Dick's features in Nightwing #74. I was happy they gave him more ethnic looking features with the fuller lips and the more angular nose. (However, they kinda screwed up with the heights??? Jason was tiny!! Barely 5' 4" it looked like LOL) The colors were pretty as well, Ryan Benjamin is a favorite artist of mine, and most of the scenes were fluid.

Another positive I can say about the Ric Arc is one of the very beginning scenes, where Damian goes to see Dick in the hospital while he's still recovering. It was moving that they let Damian be an impatient child when "demanding" for Dick to wake up, and then follow it up with him essentially fleeing and crying when he's not answered. Of course, Damian isn't really mentioned again after this, but it was still really nice to see this side of his character.

The plot.... where do I start? I don't think I'll get too much into it because it'll only frusturate me more sdfslhf but I'll say this. While I am a fan of Dick Grayson angst, DC made it very... unenjoyable, for lack of a better word. It felt like they just threw in as many villains as possible, what with the introduction of the new "sidekick" for Joker, aka Punchline, the Court of Owls appearing for a very brief time just to screw with Dick's memory more, KGBeast and Bane conspiring to get to Batman through Nightwing BY SHOOTING HIM IN THE HEAD (okay, mini rant here: DC, if you're going to make this comic about Nightwing, please please please actually make it about Nightwing. Make the problem about him, not Batman. I get that Bane is kind of the main motivator here, what with him trying to break Batman by killing his oldest allie and destroying his marriage with Seleina, but surely there are writers at the DC headquarters that can come up with a separate problem that doesn't always involve Batman. Surely that's possible right? Nightwing's whole persona was made so he could be recognized separately from Batman; stepping away from Robin was supposed to free Dick of his restrictive ties to the Bat symbol. By always tying Dick's problems immediately back to Batman or one of his enemies, it defeats the purpose of Nightwing being his own hero with his own villians and his own freakin city with its own dozens of problems!!)

Continuing on with villains, here's what I can remember off the top of my head: KGBeast, Bane, Punchline, Joker, Harely (not really, but I'm going to add her anyway), Talon, and the Court of Owls. Now, this is going to controversial, but I'm also going to add the Batfam as part of that list, and here's why. They didn't care. Plain and simple, they didn't care about Ric, they only cared about Dick and what he could do for them. There were a grand total of maybe three times where the Batfam reached out to Ric to try and reason with him, but before all of that, they re-traumatized an already amnesiac and confused person by showing him get assassinated. Like, Bruce. Wth?? I know a lot of this was mostly character assassination, especially with Barbara, but come on. Barbara was really weird throughout this entire arc, and even after he goes back to "normal", she blames Dick for being mean to her, completely ignoring the fact that he didn't know who she was half the time. And that he was, ya know,

mind controlled by multiple villains for a majority of the comic.

Moving past all of that, since I feel like I could rant for ages about it, I didn't like how abruptly they ended that arc. The crystal being my main problem. DC has many scapegoats, the lazerous pit being their biggest imo, but a crystal? All they had to do was show it to him and BOOM cured??? There was no character development. The build up to it could hardly be called build up, as it was done and over with in the span of a few panels. Nothing felt high stakes anymore, and then after he got his memories back, everyone cheered and was like "yay, he's back to normal! you were a real ass to us, and we're not going to apologize for leaving you homeless and left to fend for yourself against all these villains even though you had no memories! oh, but don't worry! we were watching this whole time, so we just let all that stuff happen to you! wow, so glad you're back- we really need Nightwing, but I guess having Dick back is okay too."

That's a very crass interpretation of what went down, but that's what happened. Bruce's half assed excuse of "I was always watching" was awful because then it just leads to more problems of, oh well, if you were always there, why didn't you rent him an apartment so he didn't have to live out of his taxi? Or get him out of trouble and bar fights? Or stop the Joker from getting him and taking control of his mind? Or any numerous terrible things that happened to Ric? It's just annoying that no one seems to actually try and emphathize with what Dick went through, and it's all getting brushed to the side in favour of, "oh, well, back to work!"

They could've gone down so many pathways with Dick getting shot in the head, but instead they gave him amnesia, trauma, bad reception from the fam, and being passed around from villian to villain just to be used over and over again. It felt like this weird dump fest where the writers just woke up one morning and was like, "how many characters can we fit into this arc to get the most amount of readers as possible? How can we become more controversial?"

I know that in the arc after Ric, we're getting some of the aftermath. I'm so so happy they let Dick cry over Alfred's death (he really needed that release of emotions, poor boy has been bottling them up for the sake of others [again, DC, I know he's supposed to be the emotionally controlled one, but please let him be healthy with his emotions and not a shut in with them]) but they still haven't addressed Damian? Like, Dick and Damian were arguably the closest before shit hit the fan, and Dick isn't wondering where the kid is? Or exactly what happened with Alfred and how Damian witnessed it?? A large part of it is the Batfam not telling Dick any of it and kind of just leaving him to his own devices now that the "issue" has been resolved (sound familiar? history repeats itself yet again....). Something else that bugs me a bit is that everyone is telling Dick what he should be feeling/thinking/doing/etc. No one's letting him... grieve. Like, Dick just got his memories back and he's probably grappling with old trauma that's now fresh in his face. Additionally, everyone is assuming he's just going to go back to normal, as if none of what just happened, well, happened. They're erasing this brand spanking new trauma, along with the news that Alfred was murdered, and the fact that Dick is still trying to do his best for his family because it's whats expected of him. I mentioned earlier that Barbara was being really weird, @nightwingmyboi actually already made a post about it, but when Dick tries to apologize and talk to her about what happened when he was Ric, she just kind of... runs away? Dramatically? Didn't even attempt to hear what dick had to say- she was just so consumed with her own hurt that talking wasn't an option for whatever reason. WHICH IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF HER CHARACTER. It's frusturating because Dick is doing his best to apologize to people when he should have nothing to apologize for- he wasn't under any of his own control and the things he did while Ric or "Dickie-boy" weren't under his own will. If anything, Dick is the one that should get an apology and a hug; he's been through so much and no one seems to be acknowledging that.

All of that to say: I liked the idea of what the Ric arc could've offered, but the plot fell through and just disappointed a lot of people. I'm hoping a lot of the issues presented in the Ric arc that went unaddressed do end up being properly resolved in the newer arcs coming out, but I'm not going to be surprised if it doesn't. Sorry for the long answer LOL

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thattimdrakeguy · 3 years

Note

I am very sorry for what you are going through, think that in adittion to that unpleasant people who attack you, there are also many more who enjoy, respect and follow your content, and want the best for you. I really like your reviews and opinions, and although I do not always agree with you, I respect and validate your opinion as much as anyone's because that is to be respectful with others and have common sense.--

--You should not take into account what people who are unable to respect another human being like them say, that they cannot even separate reality from fiction, all for a simple opinion different from theirs about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, you cannot even take them seriously. If those people need to insult, despise and make someone feel less for a reason like that, it simply speaks of how miserable they are as humans on and off the internet.--

Please don't take into account what these people say, listen to those who appreciate you and show respect. I hope you feel better and I am sorry for what is happening in your life, but you can always forward with your will and the people around you.(Hugs)

I only read these ones this morning, or afternoon more accurately cause I have a very bad sleep schedule for weeks cause I been playing video games too late into the day, but I’m slowly working on it. I’m just really bad at it.

And all I can really say to accurately give my reaction to it, was that it was something I definitely needed to read first thing in the morning. If it wasn’t for those messages yesterday, and a friend helping me out I may not have even been calmed down enough to go to bed at all. I could’ve easily not gone to sleep literally at all and had been even worse today because of it to the point of having another meltdown of a day.

Like I don’t wanna make myself sound too good, because if I did, I’d feel like I was lying, because my mind feels like a bloody nose filled up with tissue paper, if that even makes a darling lick of comprehension.

I find it so entirely weird, and patronizing, and frustrating how the fandom can be, if not worse. Like I say something unpopular, I do it a lot, probably with literally every freaking character. Even Tim, because I know that quite a few Tim fans don’t like me either.

I don’t read every comic and go “Oh this must just be how it works”, because that’s not how my brain is wired. I’m Autistic, I go in-depth, I do a lot of research, that is how I am wired when I get a hyperfixation, I want to know everything. So I say a lot of unpopular stuff because I don’t just accept things, because I don’t work that way.

But it goes like this when it comes to people just being miserable, they have to make me out to either be a bigot or bias, they either don’t even read what I say, or just don’t acknowledge what I say.

My biggest point they will leave out completely to focus on other things that are either completely irrelevant and just there to make me look bad even though it doesn’t really make sense what it has to do anything once you think about it a lick more, or just make me look straight up like a crappy person.

I got really ranty and rambly after this, and I try not to take up people’s dashboards as much. So I’ll put this here. If it’ll work, cause one time I don’t think it did, and it made me panic once cause I felt really bad. But it just would not show up.

Because trying to make a bad face out of a real life living person isn’t that bad, compared to the horrors of having to acknowledge the arcs and actions that their favorite character been through evidentially.

Sorry to say and everything, but I don’t see how on Earth Tim cheating on Ariana has anything to do with a literal whole other arc of Steph being abusive and doing really horrible things, or all those “teases” that were actually flirts that were making Tim genuinely uncomfortable to the point of sexual harassment, and told her not to do, which she didn’t actually always listen to sometimes, surprisingly to some. I also don’t see why it’s so hard to comprehend that Tim kissing Steph just because he got ahead of himself because he was euphoric he was about to die, yet it was made clear he didn’t do sexually or romantically, isn’t as bad (comparatively because it’s still insanely inappropriate and weird, but I wouldn’t call him a pervert over it) to me as Steph literally pinning Tim down during a gun fight to kiss him against his will, or taking advantage of Tim believing she was dead and giving her CPR to do it again. Like I don’t really see why saying “Just read the comics” has to do with anything, because I don’t have the art skills to just make all those panels up like that. Which by the way, I don’t give a single fuck about what bad thing Steph has done. I don’t like her because a lot of her stories are badly written, and a lot of her fans are straight up assholes. Which they conveniently ignore, because I must be villainized, because they can’t handle me acknowledging something that isn’t their idealized image. But let me also state that there are assholes in literally every fandom, I just have certain ones that decide to be assholes to me. And I don’t remember the part where I said teasing was bullying either. I can’t find that on my list of thoughts in my brain. Almost like they don’t actually know how I think or what I meant.

And I don’t know why on Earth Tim not trusting Damian to the point of being kind of scummy has much to do with Damian doing horrid things in comics they like as well. They’re their own separate people ya know? I’m not comparing characters, because I’m not actually trying to shit on the characters you should realize. Not every negative thing is formed out of toxicity. Toxic positivity where people act like not just enjoying everything is so bad is actually a thing. And I see it quite often in fandoms, and it comes from a good place, but my goodness, just let people express themselves sometimes. It’s not going to hurt anybody as long as they’re not actually an asshole or you just have a fragile ego.

It seems pretty irrelevant to me. Implying that I hate the characters because of these actions is also pretty dumb to me as well, because that’s not the case nor how it works. They keep acting like me not acknowledging the bad thing Tim does in the same posts is some showing of my bias, but no, I just view it as fucking irrelevant, because I do bring up when Tim does something bad when ever it is relevant. It is that simple. I think the only time I’ve ever even could truly come across as trying to baby and defend Tim was me saying Tim cheating on Ari with Steph was out of character, which I still hold that opinion too, but I don’t simply make shit up, I just notice how rushed it was, and how it goes against how Tim is about morals, Steph, and his literal stance on cheating. Stuff that you would actually judge what’s in or out of character on.

I just give everything the same standard. I’ve never denied Tim wasn’t passive aggressive or conscending to anyone, or has violated privacy, or was immature. If I had it was probably me caught up in the moment, and pretty weird, because I’ve actively talked about it before.

And I’m referencing stuff in the past with these oddly specific examples, that hasn’t bugged me truly in a while, but when I find a new example of stuff, I can’t help but have it come back to mind and make me question how people got to just be shivery little jerks over things like made-up characters.

I’ve acknowledged the fact that my blog was too anti-Steph plenty of times, even as it was happening, because it was mostly through anons and not me. Some of which I defended Steph on. I just had too much anxiety not responding to them, because I’d feel a sense of guilt for ignoring someone. Which I’m over and past.

I’m not going to be held down by stuff I already corrected about myself.

It’s been so heavily implied to me before, that groups just talk mad shit about me, and made up this horrendous little reputation for me among themselves, and it is so disheartening, considering I’m just this baby faced geek that read too many comics, simply explaining stuff that had happened in actual comics without actual bias. I don’t run DC Comics. I’m just a blogger that they really really don’t like, and take it as a personal attack of some kind, at least going off of how they act.

Maybe it’s what I get for expecting people to treat fiction as fiction and not a big freaking deal when I say something or don’t say something, because they’d understand the context I’m trying to explain literal events in comics as they are, and other things that happened in other situations have no relevance to what I’m saying, because I’m not making a bashing piece like they seem to think.

I know I take fiction very seriously, because I just really want good content again. But I don’t make real life people’s lives miserable. Do ya think I talk shit about Bendis all the time? Not really. I’ve genuinely probably sang his praises more than otherwise. I think Tynion’s the closest example of when I could’ve, but that was years ago at this point. I’ve made it so much more clearer it’s about the comics than them, because simply I’ve realized how scummy it is to mock an actual person, who’s probably actually a really cool guy to know. Do I fuck that up sometimes, probably. But I’m definitely not telling him to kill himself.

If they can’t acknowledge what I actually say, and continue to just try to make me look bad. I don’t personally view myself as the bad one. That’d be utterly redundant.

It always boils down to that I just acknowledge stuff they refuse to, and they just play ignorant about, and pretend they just can’t possibly understand why anyone would say it. I didn’t pull the stuff out of my ass, I have the panels. I didn’t skip anything out. At most I just don’t find the excuses they have to be freaking relevant or over power the action at hand or sometimes the literal motivation she/he had going into it.

And it’s 100% okay, but even though this is a space on the internet, and I’m practically a loser shut in. I still live in the real world and when I’m not having a bad anxiety attack or whatever else, I try to be as reasonable as possible.

I just look at it, look at the context and past contexts, look at the motivations, judge it for what I see, and move on. And never consider it a big deal until someone else makes a big deal about it.

I don’t even view every person that does it against me to be a bad person, some of them most definitely are because they go too far with it, but some of them literally have no idea proper context anymore, or they’re just very very insecure.

It’s very difficult to outright go ‘THEY’RE ALL EVIL’, but when there’s so many that are just putrid humans that want me to take my own life, it’s a wee bit overwhelming, and understandably so, yeah?

People sometimes just don’t properly process what they’re doing, because they’re so caught up in their insecurity, or possibly even a mild ego, but there’s others that will do it because they’re so quick to anger and hatred over fucking nothing.

Welcome to reality. It’s a lot like taking a train ride through a diseased rectum sometimes. But other times it’s like taking a trolley though a nice field. It’s a mixed bag, but it’s a ride that never stops but once.

An important thing I do wanna say though, is that I have everyone who supports me in my heart. I may lose my sight of that when I’m going through an episode I’m having a heckuva lot of trouble controlling, but I’d be in a much worse spot without them. Some of them are so dang respectful, and some are just so legitimately sweet and kind that it’s a blessing to have ever had an interaction of any kind or level with them.

I don’t take any of you for granted even if sometimes I seem ignorant of it during a terrible depressive episode.

You often don’t agree with me and can make it very clear, but it’s the respect you give me nonetheless that I take as precious, because it’s some of the best stuff to receive when all else seems so bleak and lifeless. It’s not an honor everyone sadly receives, so I treasure that a lot. And when I’m feeling so down and out, it sometimes can be the one thing that keeps me even near level, and that’s such an honor that even if it’s such a small amount, because obviously it’s a Tumblr blog I’m always aware of that, it just does mean a lot to me, because it genuinely is an honor to me.

I love you guys a lot. I hope that’s always obvious even when I’m making a mess out of myself. You guys are some of my favorite people on this planet.

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otagen · 3 years

Note

ok this is totally random but i came across your piper changeling art from november and saw the comment about it being an au and i would be so happy to learn more about that? if you want to share

first of all THANK YOU! i love drawing trickster and im so glad you like him.

second of all: I’D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY AU. warning: this is such a long and silly explanation. it’s really long-winded and. needs a lot of explanations but luckily i’m happy to go off about it. there really is no name for the AU, but i have been calling that “changeling” hartley... “Fartley”. short for Fake Hartley. altho his actual name is Hartley Star (which i’ll get to). the lyrics are just in reference to a fan song i really like that i thought fit

the rest is going under a read more because it got extremely long: (there will be a TLDR version

so, this au takes place in a dc roleplay server with my friends (we post funny logs here @dcordchat ) and we have different AUs that we just name different earth. one particular earth we have is Earth-223, which is actually an expansion on a canon storyline! the “future flash” storyline (flash 2011 starting at issue #30) that really isn’t well written but a bit part of our server is that we take a lot of ideas and characters that dont get a lot of love (or some who do) and give them a lot more personality and thought. you don’t have to read that arc to know about hartley because the basics are: It’s 20 years in the future, and barry is going through it. he starts time traveling to fix all the mistakes he couldn’t. he’s lost hope. most of the rogues are dead.

a loooot of things have gone to shit, and a lot of people were lost. including hartley rathaway. i don’t remember if hartley dying was canon to this arc (because i didn’t finish it because it really is... hard to get through.) but that’s fine because this is where things start to deviate. hartley is mysteriously killed. his husband, david singh, has not been coping and has secretly taken up vigilante-ism on the side, going by the name Orpheus. (music motif... homage of a myth/fairy tale like the pied piper- of the guy who loses his wife.)

barry obviously isn’t coping well at all either. the rogues are almost like his family, if not completely, at least hartley and he were really close friends. so...

IN COMES... MONDAE STAR!

if you’re new, mondae (aka Nightmare is my oc!) mondae use to be a canon character that i’ve twisted so far into aus of aus that she’s now my oc and is probably indistinguishable from her canon counterpart (they... don’t even look alike at all, unless you have been following me for a long time.)

anyway. mondae is sort of... barry’s roommate in that shitty future world that barry lives in. along with parallax, bart and thaddeus, Lee Allen, Marco Mardon, Josh Jackham, and an array of different animals including raccoons and a polar bear. Mondae is a sort of whimsical dream entity, almost like a diety in fact! but not quite, because she was made fairly recently. what she does is that she eats nightmares and makes dreams... and... can create dreams in the real world. as long as you can imagine it and dream it, mondae can pull that out of the dream realm and make it a reality! she often does this with animals or little gifts or things that are as big as a house.

however, she can also make... people! the first person she made was Lee Allen,, who is the brainchild of the kid that barry never had but always dreamed of having with Leonard Snart before he died(shameless shipping but... we can do whatever we want). this kid never existed before, they are entirely made out of all the wishes and dreams that barry had, and were given fake memories. Lee was made because barry is Mondae’s best friend and she wanted to do something for him! even though she didn’t think it through. despite the problems they had and the troubles adjusting, barry did eventually welcome lee as a father... and grew happier and regained much of the hope he lost before.

now. Mondae takes a look at Orpheus, who is still struggling to cope with the death of his husband. so Mondae figures... “why don’t i do what I did for Barry? I could just MAKE a new hartley.”

i’m sure you see what happens from here.

mondae takes all the dreams and memories that everyone’s ever had of Hartley Rathaway and makes a new Hartley! the problem is, the real Hartley is dead and she doesn’t have access to all of his memories. but hartley remembers all these things and vague memories... he doesn’t remember the experience, his point of view is like. having the Supercut version of his life in his head. he has all the basics but not the details. the important things but not the things in between. everything that mondae didn’t cover in there, she sort of... winged it!

especially with hartley’s powers. mondae is made out of magic. hartley’s powers, the superhearing and the musical hypnotism... those both have scientific explanations. but mondae doesn’t get the science behind it, so this new hartley has powers that are mondae’s INTERPRETATION of his powers. meaning he can sing and play music that can perform miracles and control people like magic, and he can talk to animals like a Disney princess. this “fake hartley” aka Hartley Star (she sees him as a son!) is a living breathing fairy tale character. just like the real pied piper!

barry allen was horrified. more than him... ORPHEUS was horrified. his dead husband came back from the dead, except it’s not actually his husband. he still hasn’t finished grieving the first time, and the fact that this hartley is like his but it JUST different enough to... be noticeable... it’s too painful to witness.

hartley star is devastated and as you can imagine... has a lot of identity issues. thus: the piece of art i first drew with all his different iterations.

feeling dejected and hopeless, hartley star decides to live on his own. or at least tries to. he ends up running off to prime earth. when prime flash catches wind of this, he and a bunch of other characters try to bring him in. then... joe gardner comes in and saves him! and now they’re roommates... they bond over being clones!

hartley star is now just trying to deal with being a fake and having all these weird feelings about identity. eventually, they will make a name for themself! and their future vigilante name will be “symphony”... possible designs for that i haven’t posted yet:

TLDR: 20 years in a horrible future, hartley and many other rogues are dead... a new hartley is made out of HOPES AND DREAMS by a dream diety, but only has half his memories; which makes it hard for his old friends and husband to accept him. he has a lot of self-esteem and identity issues... but he is trying his best!

sorry this got so long but... i’m very happy to share it.

#hartley star #hartley rathaway #nightmare #symphony #Anonymous

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breakingsomething · 4 years

Text

the fall part fourteen - check in

basic summary: chase and lucas vibe. henrik gives someone an apology. marvin is emo.

trigger warnings: internalized homophobia, references to past domestic abuse (not much but i'm putting a warning just in case), alcohol, emeto

tagslist: @synonymsforzombie @spicydanhowell @skyewardlight @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars @cest-mellow @graveyardlettuce @lower-your-expectationss

chase was feeling a lot of emotions, but mostly he was just angry.

"i just don't understand how i'm supposed to keep being a peacemaker for marvin and henrik," he was saying. he and lucas were sitting in a coffee shop at the very back of the room, lucas stirring his drink and listening to chase vent quietly. they'd finally been able to find a time where both of them were free to meet up, and it was going smoothly so far, so to speak. "they're always fighting and i want to agree with both of them because they're both making points but i can't help but feel i'm being yanked in every direction here."

"yeah, that's sucky," lucas murmured. he pushed up his glasses, which had fogged up in the heat of his coffee. then he shot chase a small, nervous smile. "sorry i'm bad at knowing what to say. it might seem like i'm not listening, but i swear i am. i just don't have any good advice."

chase sighed, his rage at his brothers slowly dissolving. "nah, it's ok. i'm not expecting you to solve all my problems." he scratched his head and laughed softly, feeling his face heat up. "i honestly don't know why i'm telling you all this. i barely even know you - we met, what, a couple months ago? three months, maybe? under the dumbest circumstances imaginable. very, very sorry for that, by the way."

"it's cool!" lucas laughed, waving his hands. "it's honestly cool, don't worry. i do find it funny how this all started as a favour for naomi, and now we're here."

chase winced. "yeah. my family tends to - be like that. dragging people into our messes somehow. it used to be anti causing all the problems, and now it's - well. you know."

lucas snorted and turned his head away, glancing at the line of people waiting for their coffee. lucas was the type of man who looked as though he fit in perfectly in a place like this; fluffy blonde hair, black rectangular glasses, even a fucking indigo hoodie over a dark red button up. he looked like a stock image of a hipster. he looked like he spent all his time in coffee shops with a laptop and earl grey tea in front of him, a hipster siren calling all those who wanted to live some sort of cliche romance movie. chase bet that if he opened up the man's plain grey bag, he'd find books and art supplies inside. it was immensely attractive.

chase blinked. no it wasn't. that wasn't something he should be thinking, what the fuck? why had he just thought - he hadn't really just -

lucas spoke again, interrupting his thoughts. "i don't know a lot about your family, aside from what you, naomi and marvin have told me. but i know that they definitely need to maybe… talk it out. go to family therapy, i don't know -" he clapped a hand over his mouth and laughed out of shock. "oh crap, it is absolutely not my place to say that, is it!"

chase threw back his head and laughed, glad for a distraction. "no, no, you're so right," he giggled. "i love how - i love how you've literally known us for three months and already know that like, all of us need some kind of therapy. are we that obvious?"

lucas shook his head, wiping his eyes. "ah, man, i need to keep my mouth shut. i am very sorry for calling out your whole family like that."

"it's fine, it's fine," chase said. he fanned his face, suddenly realizing how hot it was in here. to be fair, he was wearing three layers; a plain white longsleeve, a dark blue ac/dc shirt, and a black jacket on top of that. along with ripped jeans and a beanie. he looked the polar opposite of lucas. it was quite funny, actually. "we deserve to be called out."

lucas smiled and sipped his coffee, glancing to the front of the shop out the window. "man, it's so warm," he said through his cup. "to think it's september and it was storming so badly only three days ago."

chase nodded slowly, glancing down at his barely touched cup. he didn't want to think about the storm, honestly. that had just been a nightmare. "hmm. weird storm, yeah. everything's a bit weird lately."

for instance, he'd just called lucas "attractive" in his head. that was strange enough. why was that the thing he was focusing on? why was he freaking out about this?

lucas was a friend. just a friend he wanted to talk to and do normal things with. could straight guys call their friends attractive? chase decided to believe he could.

"they shouldn't treat you like that, though," lucas said. his dark eyes were warm under his glasses. "once again, maybe not my place to say. but i feel like they shouldn't use you as, like, a substitute therapist."

chase winced. "i mean, that's kind of what i'm doing to you, isn't it?"

lucas set down his drink and shook his head, shifting slightly closer to chase. "it's different. you're not expecting me to solve all your problems for you. you just need someone to listen." he smiled. "i get the feeling it's been a while since you had that."

chase flushed, blinking. "uh, yeah. i guess… i guess, yeah." he decided not to mention his old therapist and just looked at his legs, folding his hands together. lucas had glanced away by the time he looked up, but he was still a little bit closer to him than he'd been, and his hand was resting on the table next to chase's cup.

"thanks for listening," chase murmured gratefully. "i suppose it has been a while since i had a friend like… like you."

lucas widened his eyes. "oh! oh, thank you! i mean, i…" he giggled, rubbing the back of his neck. "i'm assuming that's a compliment. you're… you're sweet."

a grin spread across chase's face. "i - thank you too."

chase wasn't sure when their faces had gotten so close, only inches apart. lucas blinked, looking up at him through his pale lashes. his lips were parted slightly in surprise, like he'd just come to the same realization that the other man just had. chase's breath hitched, and his stomach suddenly dropped fiercely.

and it hit him that they were in a public space with everyone's eyes able to turn to them at any moment and what was he doing, getting so close to a guy like this, he wasn't supposed to, anyone could see him and he couldn't fucking stand it -

"i'm sorry!" chase yelped. he shoved himself away, heart racing so fast he thought he'd pass out. he didn't dare to turn and look at the rest of the room. "shit, i'm - i should - i have to go!"

"wait!" lucas cried, startled. chase ignored him, adrenaline hitting him all at once, leaping from his place on the booth and darting around the table. "chase, i'm - i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, i'm so sorry!"

chase couldn't look at him or he was going to be sick. "it's ok, i just have to - i'm sorry," he managed. "i'm sorry, i'll call you later, i'm -"

he ran from the building as quickly as his legs would allow him. lucas didn't follow.

chase wasn't sure when he'd started crying. he was certain everyone was staring at him as he speedwalked down the road, both hands clamped over his mouth. fuck, it felt like being a kid again, like he was twelve and his mother was telling him that it wasn't right for boys to like other boys, and chase would nod and agree because it was all he knew, and then he grew up and married a woman and was so relieved it was her he fell in love with and not him, not a boy, not anyone else -

god, he was just so fucking angry.

henrik hated the sound of doorbells.

it was such an anticipatory sound; the sound of knowing you were about to have to interact with someone. it automatically made him tense up, back straight, poker face on, hands in his pockets because he didn't know what else to do with them. eyes clenched shut for just a moment as he heard someone walking to the door on the other side. maybe this hadn't been the best idea.

the door clicked open.

"henrik?"

ok, she didn't immediately sound like she wanted to kill him. that was a good start. he cracked his eyes open, and flashed a small, sheepish grin. "hallo, ellie."

ellie just blinked. white teeth peeked out from behind her lips, strands of loose dark hair falling into gingerbread eyes. her voice was clipped and professional. "it's good to see you."

a breath fell from henrik's mouth. "i'm sorry," he immediately blurted out. he couldn't stay still, shifting back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his heels. "i shouldn't have dropped you the second i thought i couldn't handle it anymore. you deserved better and i was the dickhead."

a brief moment of thick silence passed over them.

"let's walk," ellie said eventually. "around the city, or something. i've been meaning to go out anyway."

a smile cracked on henrik's face. "yes! yes, let's do that," he said enthusiastically. ellie held up a hand, eyebrows drawing together over narrowed eyes.

"first," she said cautiously. "i have to ask. we're not doing the - the romance thing anymore, i take it?"

henrik was briefly stunned. "uh, i - no, i wouldn't think so, no," he stammered awkwardly. he swallowed, a hand rising to the back of his neck. "yeah, i feel like that maybe wasn't working out for us."

to his surprise, she laughed. "thank goodness for that," she breathed, sounding relieved. "i didn't think that was working either, yeah. but…" her eyes met his again. "i'm glad you came back."

a sudden warm feeling took over him. "me too," he murmured. "me too."

henrik had never had many friends.

that was just fact. from his creation on, he simply had "colleagues" and "acquaintances," people he tolerated when he had to. after his wife left, chase had been his only friend - and then they'd discovered they were brothers by blood too, anyway, so there had been a lack of choice in that department. he'd been content like that. content without any kind of social life. it had just been easier that way.

but ellie was so warm. like a soft flame. it was cliche as all hell to say, but it was the closest way to describe her that henrik could manage. from the day he'd met her on her first day in the surgery, he had taken a liking to her. everything about her stood out to henrik, like she was the only colour in a crowd. like a rainbow. henrik hadn't felt anything close to that in years.

they were both at the hospital on and off. henrik was allowed more leeway with his absences, maybe because no one ever died on his operating table, maybe because he was one of if not the best surgeon on the ward. ellie was not given leeway. neither of them were a hundred percent certain why, but they had a feeling it was definitely gender related. they knew ellie was just as good as henrik was, despite henrik's secret healing abilities. she didn't deserve any less.

they had somehow started dating. henrik hadn't dated anyone since emolie, and in the beginning, it had been terrifying. for both of them, actually; ellie's ex was an awful person, and it had been hard for her to trust him. it was only after henrik gained the courage to tell her about his ex wife and what she had been like that they managed to properly communicate. that had just helped them bond more. it felt good.

and then it had all gone downhill. ellie left work entirely for her mental health, leaving henrik with just his bastard colleagues again. he began to be filled with that same old overwhelming fear again, the same distrust and paranoia his ex wife had given him. and he'd started ignoring ellie. that was how it had went. he had been an asshole.

he told ellie all this as they walked through the darkening streets, keeping his gaze down towards his blue trainers. despite usually being good with eye contact, he didn't dare to look at her. maybe he was afraid to. he didn't know. in any case, he should have done this months ago.

once he'd finished, everything went very quiet. henrik, in the sensible parts of his mind, knew ellie would never hurt him. he knew she wasn't anything like emolie, despite the similar names. but even knowing all that, he still flinched when she finally spoke. "henrik, you should have told me."

"i know," he mumbled, kicking a rock into a gutter. "i know. i've been an idiot."

ellie placed a gentle hand on his arm. "hey. i understand. i - i often had some of the same… the same thoughts. even though robert was - everything with him was years ago."

"it's the same for me," henrik said softly. a dog barked in the distance, and two shopkeepers talked loudly as they rolled down the shutters for the night. "emolie left a long time ago too. yet i still - i thought it was just me that had this paranoia."

ellie shook her head. "no, no. i get it. i've been going to therapy, and my therapist says that's perfectly natural for people who've experienced abuse."

henrik flinched.

ellie noticed. "are you ok?"

henrik licked his lips, which were suddenly very dry. "mm. i don't know. yes."

ellie giggled. "you don't sound sure."

henrik was about to respond, but someone across the street caught his eye. black jacket, red beanie, blonde hair. henrik furrowed his eyebrows. "chase?"

the man looked up, and yes, it was definitely him. he caught henrik's gaze and stopped, eyes widening visibly. he was crying. then he turned and raced down the street even faster than he was going before, face burning and arms crossed over his chest.

"is that your brother?" ellie asked. she'd only met him once, but chase was a hard man to forget. "is he - is he ok?"

"no idea," henrik muttered, then waved at her apologetically. "i'll - i'll be right back, i swear. chase!" he began to run after his brother. "chase, what - chase!"

"fuck off, henrik," chase spat. he stopped, but didn't turn round as his brother caught up to him. "please, i don't want to talk."

"well, can you at least tell me you're ok?" henrik asked. his mind was going a hundred miles an hour, trying to figure out what could have upset him. he tapped his shoes against the floor. "weren't you out with lucas?"

chase scrubbed at his eyes. "i was, yeah." he glanced up, wincing at henrik's expression. "he didn't do anything, hen. i'm just a fucking idiot. please just go. seriously, i don't fucking want to be around people right now, ok? i don't - just go."

henrik hesitated. "are you sure -"

"yes!" chase suddenly cried. he clutched at his head, sobbing. "fucking shit, henrik, i'm fine, just - ugh!"

he ran off down the road again, the only sound being the slapping of his shoes against the concrete. henrik didn't follow him.

ellie was right where he'd left her. "what happened?" she murmured softly. she looked genuinely worried, too. henrik's heart clenched.

"i don't know," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. he was so tired. but he also didn't want to pressure chase at all. "i'm - look, ellie, i'm so sorry. whatever happened to me in my past didn't excuse how i treated you, and i swear i'll message or - or visit you again. i'm…" he shook his head. "i'm sorry it took me this long."

ellie took his hand, the contact making him gasp softly. "i'm sorry too. i never thought about what you wanted or how - or how you were feeling. a sick part of me was convinced that i somehow had it worse. and i know how fucked up that is, i know -" she paused, her laugh slightly hysterical. "i'm gonna shut up for now. go after your brother. i'll see you soon, henrik."

he had a lot more he wanted to say, but he knew it could wait. chase needed him more. so with an awkward nod and a trip over his own feet, he began to jog down the street to where chase was going.

marvin was a fucking idiot.

he couldn't believe he'd trusted anti as much as he had. henrik had outright laughed at him when he told his brothers what had happened; how he'd spoken to anti late at night, how he'd asked him if they could talk in the morning, how he'd fallen asleep in front of him instead of keeping watch. and yeah, maybe he was a fool. maybe he should go out and buy himself a new phone to replace the one anti had stole, along with a new table to replace the one anti destroyed, since that was his fucking fault too. like everything was lately. maybe he should do that.

instead, he'd spent the day in bed, half asleep and fucking miserable. he was well aware that now wasn't the time to be wallowing in self pity, but he'd honestly stopped caring. anti could do what he wanted. jackie could do what he wanted. marvin apparently had no bloody say in anything anymore.

he got up once to get a glass of water for his slowly worsening headache. of course, it was then that chase came in, slamming the door shut behind him.

"can you not do that?" marvin snapped, whipping round to face him, but he softened when he saw chase's tear stained face. "oh hey, what's wrong?"

"don't start," chase hissed. his eyes were red from crying, and they were blazing with anger. "i'm fine, don't start with the p-pity."

marvin crossed the room to stand by his side. "did someone hurt you?" he asked, concerned. chase pushed him away, shaking his head.

"no, they didn't, ok? i'm just a fucking idiot and it's my own fault," he said angrily. "it's not always to do with you guys, for fuck's sake."

marvin felt his face heat up. "hey, don't get mad at me. that's helping nobody here. what happened, man?"

chase wiped his face roughly, more tears escaping. "shut up!" he demanded, wrapping his arms around himself. "you don't have to know everything just cause you're big brother now, you don't get to -"

"jeez, chase, what the hell got into you?" marvin shouted over him, taking a step closer. chase scowled and stepped back. "did i do something? if i did, just tell me -"

"i said it was my fault!" chase screamed. and there was something in his voice that made marvin stop and move back, blinking rapidly. "ok? my fault! let me take responsibility for my own actions f-for once, fucking hell, you don't have to be jackie! you can go back to not noticing shit if you want, we'll be fine on our own!"

marvin's chest tightened painfully. "chase - what are you talking about?"

"did you even notice - did you even notice the time when henrik had that panic attack where he hurt his hand because he was trying to get out of a lift?" chase asked, laughing without warmth. "you didn't! you spent that whole weekend out of the house with some guy, didn't you? did jackie ever bother telling you? do you remember the aftermath at all?"

marvin tried to catch a breath. "no," he whispered, mouth dry. "no, but - you can't expect me to -"

"were you - were you th-there for my last relapse?" chase spat, and marvin's heart dropped. "no! you weren't! i doubt you - ha, i doubt you even know it happened! are you surprised? stupid, fuckup chase, ruining all good things for himself yet again!" he laughed, running his fingers through his curls underneath his beanie, which slipped back and fell into his hood. with his hair pulled back, marvin could more clearly see the bald spot where chase's old scar lingered. "you didn't care then, so why should you care now? stop trying to be jackie! you will never be jackie!"

marvin's breaths were getting quicker, blood pumping in his ears. "chase," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "chase, i've never been -"

"you have!" he cried. "you have, you're trying to replace him and it's not working, you're just making everything worse!"

marvin's fingers were burning, his whole body tingling with grief and magic. "stop yelling, please -"

"just stop trying to fix everything! i want things to go back to how they were before! stop changing, just because jackie changed -"

"chase, shut up, shut up -"

"i want jackie and jamie back, god, i hate this, i hate you, i hate myself -"

"stop it, chase, pl-please, i can't -"

"this isn't fair, just leave me alone -"

"shut - up!"

marvin wasn't sure what happened. it was a rush of anger, self hatred, of leave me alone i want you to stop because you're saying everything that i know is true and it hurts so bad make it stop. then chase and marvin were both on the floor. marvin's head was spinning from the crack to the floor it had taken, his hands burning with unrestrained magic. chase sat up, groaning, rubbing his head. the door behind them clicked, and marvin knew immediately who it would be.

"what the fuck?" came henrik's cry. marvin scrambled to his feet, chase following. "marvin, shit, what did you do?"

"wasn't his fault," chase said quickly, wiping the tears off his face and grabbing the counter for support. "i was being a dick, i shouldn't have -"

henrik whirled on marvin. "you - you used magic on him?"

"it just exploded, it w-wasn't intentional!" chase fretted, waving his hands to get the doctor's attention. "please, hen, i was saying shit 'cause i was upset, i -"

henrik gently pushed past him and faced marvin, anger darkening his face. "after what's happening with jackie, you turn on us too? are you going to hurt us next? what the hell is wrong with you?"

"henrik!" chase grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away from marvin. "please, stop, i swear he wasn't doing it maliciously -"

"maybe jackie didn't start hurting maliciously!" henrik shouted. "i have to keep us safe! marvin already wants us letting murderers into our house -"

"you agreed -"

"and look where it got us!" henrik shoved chase behind him like he was shielding him, glaring up at marvin and pushing him onto the ruined table, riddled with stab wounds. "look at us! i thought - i thought we could handle this ourselves, but we can't, this is pathetic! look at us!" his voice broke, and he suddenly backed down, clamping both hands over his mouth. "oh mein gott, look at us."

he slumped down on the floor, leaning his back against the oven. chase crouched down in front of him, glancing helplessly up at marvin like he hadn't been screaming at him minutes prior. like he hadn't revealed exactly what he thought of marvin, like he didn't think he was just a copy of jackie. but then again, "copy of jackie" was the best they had. maybe marvin was a better copy of jackie than he was a brother.

slowly, numbly, he stepped over his brothers towards the door. his ears were ringing, though whether it was his tinnitus, anti, or the angry echoes of his own magic, marvin didn't know. his head was spinning like he'd been hit, which, well - he had hit his head off the floor. that was his fault. just like everything else.

he left and didn't turn back.

ok, getting as drunk as he was when he was so upset had, in fact, been a terrible idea.

he laughed to himself in spite of it all. yes, he was laughing out loud by himself in the middle of a club, sitting on the sidelines and knocking back his fifth lemon vodka of the night. he was at his favourite nightclub, cheers - the nightclub that had a reputation for an incredible amount of stabbings. it was also the most fun to hang out in, even by himself. though it appeared he wouldn't be alone for long; a dark haired man with a green bandana and a half unbuttoned dress shirt was sidling up to him, glass in hand.

"haven't seen you here before," was how he introduced himself, a smirk on his face. marvin barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't see how new this guy was to this kind of thing.

"y'must be new round here, then," marvin smiled, voice only slightly slurred. he raised an eyebrow at the man's flushed face and shifted aside in his booth to let him sit beside. "i happen to come here quite often."

marvin was never sure what he wanted anymore. did he want to go home with a random guy to help him think of anything else but his out of control magic, his brother's horrified, furious faces, his burning hands and spinning head? he didn't think he did. then again, maybe it'd be nice. maybe he didn't care. fuck, this was awful, but here he was anyway.

the other man sat down, too close to marvin, his fingers brushing against his thighs in a way marvin normally wouldn't allow so soon into a hookup. he didn't say anything. he just tilted his head, leaning closer to the man's face. "what's your name then, stranger?"

"matthew," he murmured. his eyes were brown, his face pale. marvin searched him for any interesting features, anything that he might remember him by afterwards. there was nothing. "and you?"

marvin didn't even hesitate. "adrien," he lied, and turned his head to sip his drink. the world was spinning. he wanted it to stop. "'m adrien. who you with? anyone here?"

matthew shook his head, biting his bottom lip in the most unsubtle way possible. "nope. just me, myself, and i." he grinned, showing gap teeth. marvin stared. he suddenly realized that he absolutely couldn't do this, not tonight.

someone was standing behind them, blocking the light.

"hey," came a deep voice. "leave him alone, asshole."

marvin and matthew both turned. a tall, muscled man with chin length black hair and a thick beard was behind their booth, glaring at matthew. "fuck off away from him," the man said. "can't you see how drunk he is? bloody dickwad. get the fuck away."

matthew opened and closed his mouth, eyes bulging. like a fish. marvin giggled a little at the image, and the tall man helped marvin to stand as matthew scurried off to a different corner of the club, only looking back to sneer at them angrily.

"hey," marvin protested as the stranger led him away. "i wanted to sleep with him."

"no you didn't," the stranger said. he kept a firm hold on marvin's arm as they walked, steering him towards the door and out into the cold autumn air. the sudden lack of lights and loud music made his head clear slightly, and he yawned, thinking. the man kept talking. "you have a girlfriend, anyway."

"naomi's not my girlfriend," marvin said loudly, stumbling on the front steps. "she's my best friend. i set her door on fire once. i also made her really sad, sent her into a breakdown, d'y'know? who are you? i don't know you."

the man visibly rolled his eyes. "you know, for such a smart man, you're not very bright when you're drunk," he muttered. marvin noticed that the more he spoke, the more irish the man's accent became. "do you always use such bad coping mechanisms? christ, and i thought i was bad - actually, wait, i'm one to talk. especially about - shit. you know what i'm saying."

marvin actually had no clue what he was saying, but he listened to the man ramble anyway. he couldn't seem to stop talking. "i thought i could leave you alone for five bloody minutes, but no, you flip out and decide the best way to cope is to fuck some guy in a sketchy ass nightclub - what is wrong with you, man? go to therapy. do you go to therapy, kitty? you definitely should. swear to god, you lot are like a bunch of kids. i could kill you right now and you wouldn't stop me, would you? pfft, you're not even gonna remember this tomorrow morning. fuck's sake."

it was a while before marvin realized he had no clue where they were. "where're we going?" he slurred. his hands were empty. how long had they been empty? "i lost my drink."

"you didn't lose it, i took it. this body can actually handle alcohol, you know that? how weird. and i'm taking you the fuck home, asshole. you're lucky you're not as much of a dick as your brothers."

his brothers? marvin's head shot up, and he gasped loudly. "i can't go home!" he cried. "henrik'll kill me! man, i can't - don't have your name, sorry - can't go home, i can't, i can't."

the man groaned loudly. "oh, fuck's sake," he grumbled. "gods, i'll call us a taxi to take us to the nearest hotel. christ on a goddamn bike, i hate you..."

marvin leaned his head on the man's chest while they waited for said taxi to come. the man cleared his throat. "ok, i know you're a clingy bastard, but can you get off of me? i don't like being touched without permission."

"you're warm, though," marvin mumbled. "'m tired and you're warm. my brothers all hate me now, they do. i have - my big brother, jackie, he's gone all evil 'n shit now. i wasn't good enough for him. my other big brother stabbed my table. stole my phone. henrik laughed at me for it."

the man hissed through his teeth. "yikes, your big brothers sound like right douchebags," he said, sounding like he was holding back a laugh. "especially that second one. who stabs a table? what an asshole."

marvin nodded sleepily in agreement. "yeah. i trusted him but he let me down 'n my little brother laughed at me for it. i wanted to ask him about m'other big brother. his name's jackie, i love him so much, but he was so horrible." the other man visibly flinched. marvin obliviously kept going. "i wanted to know what he did. you know he - he cut off my brother's t-tongue? he cut it right off. i can't believe he'd ever -" marvin's stomach lurched. "i'm gonna be sick."

not a second later, he did exactly as threatened. the man yelped and jumped away, making disgusted noises. "oh, kitten, gross," he groaned. "fuck's sake. look, the taxi's here, thank the stars. mind your step, don't stand in the vom - ok, here we go."

marvin laid his head on the man's shoulders the whole drive. some part of him screamed at him to not be an idiot, don't get in a taxi with a stranger, especially as drunk as he was now - but another part of him felt like this man was familiar. it felt right. he wasn't sure why. "what's your name again?" he managed at one point, right as the car began to pull over.

"doesn't matter," said the stranger. he unbuckled his seat belt. "we're here. get out, asshole, come on."

"have a nice night," the driver told them. the man didn't say anything in response, just helped marvin up and onto the pavement on shaky legs. he squinted at the building in front of them.

"i don't have the money for a hotel like this," he said. he swayed on his feet, his stomach roiling. "i need to go somewhere else."

"i'll fucking pay," the man said. he was rifling through a wallet, making faces at the contents. "apparently i'm bloody loaded, fantastic. come on, magician, act like you're not drunk for two minutes."

"i'm not drunk," marvin announced loudly.

the man clapped his back. "that's the spirit," he said cheerfully. as they went inside, the bright lights of the hotel made marvin's eyelids feel even heavier. he closed his eyes and clung to the man's arm tightly, yawning.

it felt like only a second later that he was being shaken awake again. "i didn't know it was possible to fall asleep standing, but here we are," the stranger joked. "i got you a room. here's your key. room 146. now go."

marvin blinked. "huh?"

the man heaved a sigh. "oh, boy." then he cleared his throat, speaking in a much louder voice, like he was talking to a child. "i got you a hotel room so you don't have to go home and face the consequences of your own actions. go inside before i change my mind and gut you."

another yawn ripped out of marvin's throat. "mm. ok." he was too tired to question it. he took the key from the other man's hands and inspected it. "ok. so what… what's your name again? i think you told me, but i have a bad memory. i think. i don't 'member."

the man facepalmed, dragging his hands down his face. "my fucking gods. the fact that i haven't murdered you yet astounds me. my name is... berlin, if you really must know. although you'll definitely forget that in the morning. now get to your room, i'm not standing here forever."

marvin just nodded. the night had been so weird already, this might as well be happening. he wasn't even paying attention to his surroundings, just letting himself be guided and eventually, somehow, collapsing on a bed and falling asleep.

anti wasn't sure why he'd done it.

maybe it was just the euphoria of realizing that out of all his powers, he'd been left with possession. he'd been following kitten around for days, just to keep an eye on him. partially because he felt very slightly bad about stabbing his table and stealing his belongings, partially because… the magician had been kind to him in a way that literally no one else had for so long. anti wasn't entirely certain of why he did anything anymore. it was kind of annoying, actually.

he'd taken the body of some man smoking in an alleyway and spent about ten minutes talking out loud to himself as he paced and finished the cigarette - might as well, didn't want to waste it. anti swore he'd almost forgotten how to talk after so long the way he was. drinking and eating without pain was so weird, so strange. it had been amazing. he'd been so caught up in exhilaration of being able to speak that he almost completely forgot about kitten, who had apparently decided that hooking up with a stranger would solve his problems. anti decided to spare him the embarrassment and scooped him out of there, even renting him a hotel room using the money he'd been planning to nick for himself. see, i can do nice things! he thought to himself. take that, doctor!

it was only afterwards that he really questioned why. this wasn't just something he did for no reason; when anti did nice things, it was always for his own personal gain. he hadn't gotten anything out of this but a fucking headache. what had been the point?

a year ago, anti would have been delighted at the thought of kitten suffering, of him hurting, crying, drunk and alone in a sketchy nightclub. now… anti didn't derive as much pleasure from the thought as he normally would. not that he was getting attached to kitten. he'd already formed something like that with one person, and anti liked to keep all his eggs in one basket, thank you very much.

he was just waiting, he told himself. waiting for the right time to strike. waiting for the perfect opportunity. waiting for…

he knew he was lying to himself. but he closed his eyes and resolved to let himself just a little longer.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #lucas ross #the fall

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