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#if it weren’t for the fact that i would Literally go broke if i did not finish all this next semester
thecleverqueer · 3 days
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I don’t know. Maybe I mis-read the story, but I felt like the Ahsoka series wasn’t necessarily anti-Jedi. It felt more like Ahsoka finally accepted that she could actually be a Jedi after years of her believing that she was unworthy of doing that, and thereby giving her the right to pass on what she learned.
To preface, I do think her lineage had a problem with following rules. Obviously. Even Yoda broke rules when he went off on his trippy force adventure with Qui-Gon in the sixth season of TCW. It wasn’t that they all went against the Jedi teachings (save Anakin… which I won’t get into right now; I would possibly even argue for Dooku, but he was misguided and definitely did not go about anything in the right way), they just didn’t follow protocol. Most of them at least embraced Jedi philosophy (once again, save Anakin). They often broke rules and protocol loudly, but I can appreciate that as someone who hates the status quo and stringent rules. I say this to partially explain why Ahsoka often butted heads with Huyang about Jedi protocol. It’s not Jedi critical on a philosophical level as much as it is critiquing the protocols.
Now with that being said, let me talk about Ahsoka... Particularly, where Ahsoka was in her series and how that changes by the end of it:
Ahsoka struggled with the fact that she’d been trained as a soldier. Jedi were not soldiers; they were peace keepers. Ahsoka says as much to Rex on the Venator right before Order 66 was executed. She was incredibly torn by this. Ultimately, I believe it’s what caused her to leave the order in the first place. She listened to the words Barriss said, and agreed wholeheartedly. She couldn’t be part of the order as she was not a Jedi, but a warrior. It’s not that she didn’t want to be a Jedi, she DID want to be a Jedi. She just felt as if she no longer knew how to do that, or perhaps, couldn’t do that based on what she’d been doing.
It’s the main thing that she is stuck on when she had her flashbacks with Anakin in the World-Between-Worlds dream state. She struggled with her past. She was unable to reconcile the actions that she was forced to take during the war with her Jedi training that specifically told her not to do that. She mentioned that it wasn’t what she trained for, and by the time she was fighting the Siege of Mandalore, she only saw herself as a fighter. And, it’s something you saw in her character at the beginning of her series. She’s quick to draw her blades and come at you. She does not hesitate to fight Baylon at the reflex point on Seetos. It had unbalanced her, and that’s why she lost the fight.
Anakin basically told her that she’s more than just a warrior. All of the knowledge that came before him, the wisdom of Yoda, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, lived on through her. She was part of a legacy. Still, she struggled because of what Anakin became, and was hesitant to share the knowledge that she possessed in fear of planting dark seeds. It’s why he told her that she lacked conviction. In Rebels, Ahsoka was trying to convince everyone including herself that she was not a Jedi, and it was a culmination of all of her trauma. This was the moment that she must live (and let it go of said trauma), or die and literally drown with it.
In the end, Ahsoka chose to live, and the white robes weren’t the only thing about her that had changed. In her second battle with Baylon, she’s not as quick to draw her blades. She’s more worried about finding Ezra and Sabine. It’s not that she was completely unwilling to fight, but the fight wasn’t what it is all about. She mentioned this to Sabine as well when she told her that “being a Jedi is more than just wielding a lightsaber.” Ahsoka released the trauma, and embraced her Jedi past. It was not explicitly stated, but it definitely felt implied.
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miodiodavinci · 5 months
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laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,
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raz-writes-the-thing · 5 months
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Is That A Promise? (Venom One-Shot)
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Eddie Brock x GN!Reader / requests are open and encouraged
Summary: Telling you about Venom does not go entirely how Eddie planned.
CW: mentions of monster fucking, Eddie is oblivious and a dumbass (I think I have a type)
Venom Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
You’d known Eddie Brock a good while by this point. You’d started dating him a while back, and while he put others on edge, you’d found the way he talked to himself out loud rather charming, actually. 
At first, you weren’t sure if he was just unmedicated, or undiagnosed. But then the news broke about the symbiote, and then there was the footage. And when Eddie started coming home right after news broke of some other attack or taking out of a bad guy or criminal or whoever, you’d put two and two together. 
It was kind of hard not to. Particularly as his conversations with himself could vary from topic to topic in the span of six words or less.
 
Eddie had asked to meet up for lunch today at your favourite restaurant. He’d seemed a bit off on the phone, and given how prone you were to anxiety, your immediate thought had been that he was breaking up with you and that you’d done something to upset him or his bodily guest- who you did not officially know about, of course. 
You’d gotten there early to prepare yourself for whatever shitshow was about to follow and to your immense surprise, Eddie had shown up pretty much right after you. Eddie was always running late, so this change in pace was also mildly concerning. You were not sure how this was going to go and you did not like that one bit. 
“You’re here early, too,” Eddie had said, swallowing thickly and avoiding eye contact. You nodded, and cleared your throat, gesturing for him to sit down at the table opposite you. 
“Yeah, I wanted to make sure we had a spot,” you replied, smoothing down your shirt. Bit of a nervous habit. That and ripping at your nails, but that was beside the point. 
“Right,” Eddie replied. 
And then the two of you lapsed into silence. You spent a good five to ten minutes appearing to read over the menu as if this wasn’t a regular spot for you and you didn’t know exactly what you were going to order. In fact, you’d be surprised if the cooks weren’t already making it up for you even though a waiter hadn’t come over yet. 
“Shut up,” Eddie hissed quietly. You peered over the menu to eye him curiously, one brow arced in question. 
“I didn’t say anything, Eddie.” 
“Yeah, I know. I- uh, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. You hummed, and put the menu down to give him your attention. 
“About me shutting up?” 
“No- God, this is not going at all like I planned.” Eddie rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. 
You said nothing, waiting patiently for him to work out his wording.
 
“I really like you,” he started, and you nodded, replying with the same sentiment. “And, well, there’s something I’ve been hiding from you.”
 
“Right…” This is where you expected him to tell you he was married (doubtful but not impossible) or had cancer or something terrible. Dear God, please no. 
“Look- you’ve seen on the news, yes, the, uh- the attacks. Yeah?” 
You nod. Ah, so he was finally telling you about his friend living literally rent-free in his body. Okay, you could relax a little. 
“He’s me. Venom, he lives in my body. He’s in my head. Like, all the time. Right now.” 
Eddie looked at the table where he was picking at the tablecloth. You were silent for a second, and Eddie clearly took that to mean you were horrified or disgusted or something. You were a little nervous about it, sure, but you’d also been living with him for the last few months. If Venom was planning to take you out, he would have done so by now, surely. You figured this to mean you were safe enough. You’d also seen your fair share of monster porn, so you weren’t exactly unkeen on the idea of dating someone who sometimes had a monster body. It was kind of hot, actually. You shook the thought out of your head and tried to focus.
“Oh, yeah- I knew about that,” you replied, and the way Eddie’s head snapped towards you was almost comical. 
“You what?”
 
“Yeah, I figured that out a while ago. I was just waiting for you to tell me in your own time.”
 
Eddie blinked, and a black residue appeared on the back of his hand. It swirled and gathered on his hand before reaching for you delicately. You met it, brushing your finger over it softly. The goop (for lack of a better word) seemed to shiver pleasurably and you smiled.
 
“Can I meet him later?” 
Eddie nodded, watching the interaction with disbelief. He’d thought that you’d go running and screaming through the doors or something, not be rubbing your fingers over Venom like you were fingering some Play-Doh. 
“Y-yeah, later,” he agreed. “Not here. When we get home.”
 
You grinned and the black substance retreated back into Eddie’s skin as a waiter appeared by your table. 
“What can I get for you? The regular?” 
You looked at Eddie and clicked your tongue thoughtfully. 
“The usual with a serving of chicken nuggets on the side, please.”
 
The waiter nodded, scribbled it own on his pad and wandered off in the direction of the kitchen. Eddie looked at you in question. He knew you weren’t big on nuggets. 
“They’re for Venom,” you explained, propping your head up on your palm. Eddie looked to the side as if listening to something carefully. 
“Venom says thank you-” Eddie said before cutting himself as Venom said something else in his head. “No, I’m not saying that. No. No.” 
“Say what?”
Eddie sighed defeatedly- something you think he did a lot when it came to Venom. 
“Venom said he could kiss you right now.” Eddie looked mortified as the words left his mouth. You burst into laughter. 
“Is that a threat or a promise? I hope it’s a promise,” you replied, wiggling your eyebrows at the two of them. 
Eddie swallowed thickly and blushed as Venom said something else. You’d have to see if Venom could swap hosts sometime. It would be nice to have a conversation while out and about like that. 
“Promise,” Eddie replied. 
Good.
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srjlvr · 4 months
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[ LET’S GET MARRIED ! ] — lhs <3
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PAIRING. lee heeseung!student X femreader!student !
SYN. the uni is giving away free dorms! under one condition, in order to save your desperate broke ass student’s life, you’d have to get married. and who’d be the lucky person to marry you if not your childhood friend? no feelings involved of course!…..right?
GENRE. he fell first but she fell harder, basically being in denial for feelings at first, childhood friends to a married couple, fluff fluff fluff !
WARNINGS. mentions of getting married(obv), rest of enha and lesserafim’s yunjin & chaewon are in it too, mentions on having kids(no, there will be no kids here its nothing serious!!), mentions of food, being broke because of uni student life. (pls do lmk if i missed something!) || NOT PROOFREAD AND VERY POORLY WRITTEN!!
WORD-COUNT. 5.1k+ (damn!)
NOTE. this is me being extremely sorry for not continuing my heeseung smau by releasing a heeseung oneshot yay!! i actually got the inspiration from HAPPINESS (one of my fav kdramas!) please leave some feedbacks!! i really wanna know what you thought about it<3
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when you were younger, you’ve made a wishing list to you in the future, as soon as you turn an adult.
three important wishes were ;
first, never go broke while being a uni student.
second, never get married before the age of 25.
third, never ever fall in love with your best friend since childhood, aka lee heeseung.
first one is already being a huge failure. younger you would be definitely disappointed in uni student you, not that you care that much, but being a broke student sucks.
“my parents are literally about to kick me out, i get that, i’m a 22 years old uni student who’s still living up their asses, they probably want some peaceful and quiet life” you smacked your head over the lunch table, both of your friends looking at you concerned.
“maybe it’s time for you to pay for the dor-“
“never! yunjin, tell her how broke i am”
“she has like 1 dollar in her bank account, she’s still taking loans from her parents” yunjin nodded and you rolled your eyes.
“you didn’t have to go that far”
“oh i did”
“oh i know! what if you just start working?” chaewon raised her voice a bit.
“i have no time!”
“excuses excuses blah blah blah” she mocked you.
“look at heeseung for example, he works in a part time job at the convenience store right next to uni” yunjin pointed out.
you searched through the lunch hall and found the one person you’ve been looking for, lee heeseung.
you’ve been stuck to him ever since childhood, with your mothers being the biggest best friends you’ve ever seen, it was pretty hard to not see him every day in your young days.
both of your mothers even got pregnant at the same time, and gave birth around the same time, you’re two days younger than him.
your photo album is full with pictures of you and him, and so are the hanged photos on your house wall.
your mother and his mother were your biggest shippers, forcing you both to hug each other and even wear matching clothes.
your elementary school memories are filled with heeseung next to you and the whole class shipping you two.
highschool days weren’t better either, guys who wanted to try a move on you were always so scared of heeseung, they were so sure you and him are dating, with the amount of glares they got from him it was really hard to think otherwise.
your highschool crushes rejected you, always giving the excuse of not wanting to be in a relationship, hiding the fact that heeseung warned them that if they’ll say yes he’ll make sure they never see a daylight again.
he was joking, really. he’s not the violent type, and he couldn’t really explain why was he feeling so jealous whenever he saw you confessing to a guy who isn’t him.
heeseung got used to watching you from afar and protecting you, and you got used to search him everywhere you go even in crowded places and having his company ever since childhood.
“hee!” you called and waved at him, he waved at you back with a smile on his face.
“i swear if i didn’t know both of you were childhood friends i would’ve think you’re a married couple or something” chaewon rolled her eyes and you scoffed.
heeseung continued his way to his usual table with his friends.
“thinking about ways to confess your love to her?” jake smirked and heeseung shook away his thoughts.
“hm? who?” he asked.
“it’s obvious who! don’t play dumb come on!” sunghoon playfully pushed the older one.
“we’re talking about Y/N! everyone in uni are talking about you, even those who know nothing about the two of you” jay remarked.
“there’s nothing between us, we’re just friends” heeseung shrugged.
“and i’m queen elizabeth” sunoo tsked.
heeseung rolled his eyes and began to eat, “you know, even if i did have a crush on her, why would she even accept my confession?”
“ohhhh~” his friends teased.
“it’s kind of obvious she likes you, we’ve watched her ever since we became friends with you, and the way she looks at you is just different” jungwon shrugged and ni-ki nodded.
“she’s always searching you in a crowded room, as if you’re her guardian angel and she only needs you in her life in order for it to be perfect” ni-ki then stole a few bites of heeseung’s meal.
“hey! not cool” heeseung scoffed and ni-ki giggled.
“it’s not bad to have a crush on your childhood friend, you know?” jake smiled, “sometimes all you need is a miracle” jay added.
“hey, let’s go on a work search for yo-“
“no no no yunjin not you too!!” you sobbed, “i have no time to work and i need to search for the cheapest dorm, a one i can actually afford as soon as possible”
“why don’t you just go and ask heeseung for help” chaewon shrugged.
“it’s not that easy, i don’t want him to worry about it too much, he works hard for his money too” you pout and they nodded.
“by the way! how’s the money for the uni dorms is going?” jake asked heeseung who was busy fighting with ni-ki over his food.
“i’m just a few shifts away from getting enough money, i’ll ask y/n to become my roommate as soon as— what?” he noticed his friends looking at him.
“y/n and you? being roommates?” sunoo teased.
“hey, me and y/n spent all our childhood together, my house is her house and her house is mine, it has been like that for a while” heeseung sighed and they all nodded hesitatly.
“still, you said y/n’s parents told you about her not being able to pay for the uni dorms, are you really willing to pay it all?” jungwon asked.
heeseung shrugged and took a bite from his food again, “it’s either that or she’ll get kicked out by her parents”
“you really are her guardian angel” ni-ki whispered.
“good morning! you have afternoon classes today right?” your mother woke you up with a smile smeared all over her face.
“mhhm” you hummed, still trying to adjust the bright sunlight that hit your face.
“i need you to bring some medicine for ms lee! she’s been sick and i bought her some things” your mother helped you to get up and shoved you a bag, “here”
“can you please just let me get—“
“you can get ready at theirs! quickly quickly go!” she pushed you outside of your house. damn, she really does hope you’d get out as soon as possible.
she was right though, heeseung’s house is your house, and your house is his. you have a few clothes and even a toothbrush at his house and he has the same at yours, getting ready there was never a problem to you.
a walk to their house is even less than 5 minutes so you weren’t worried about someone from your neighborhood getting a jumpscare and thinking you’re some kind of a zombie.
you took out the keys and opened the door, heeseung was sitting in the kitchen and eating his breakfast.
“don’t ask, been a rough morning, where’s mom by the way?” you asked him and he pointed at her room. you got used to call his mom your mom too.
you saw her sleeping so you left the bag and the medicine next to her, leaving a note saying good morning and instructions of how to take the medicine, as if she doesn’t know all of that.
“you have afternoon classes too?” you asked heeseung while getting ready. he was in his room, lying on his bed while playing some games on his phone.
“not really, i don’t have any class today” he chuckled.
“since when don’t you have any classes today?”
“ever since i decided that im too tired to go to uni”
you rolled your eyes and threw one of the pillows at him, “don’t be stupid! get up and get ready to go!”
he giggled and shook his head, “i’m joking, i took evening classes for today”
you pressed your lips together and nodded, you don’t know why but hearing him giggling always made your heart skip a beat, but you don’t have any feelings for him, like, at all. right?
afternoon classes started and before you knew it, it was already lunch time.
“y/n! you won’t believe it!!” chaewon shout.
“what is it?” you shout at her back even though you were sitting right in front of her.
“i found you a solution! you can get a free dorm!” she shout back.
“what!” you shout.
“can you stop shouting! for god’s sake you’re literally a 1 cm away from each other” yunjin, who was covering her ears yelled.
you and chaewon shared an eye contact and froze. yunjin is so scary when she’s angry.
“continue please” she coughed and let chaewon continue what she had to say.
“it might seem crazy what i’m about to say,” chaewon sighed, “the uni is giving away free dorms—“
“no way omg omg omg please tell me i’m dreaming this is not happening right now right this is not real righ—“
“under one condition!” she cut you off and took her phone out of her pocket to read the terms.
“in order to get a free dorm, you have to have at least one option applied ;
one, you’re younger than 18. two, you’ve been scoring A+ on ALL of your exams and three, you’re between the ages 18-25 and got married, or engaged” she finished reading and turned off her phone.
“but chaewon, i’m not younger than eighteen” you complained and rest your head on your arm who was lying on the table.
“nor scoring A+ on ALL of your exams” yunjin added.
“thanks yunjin, i needed that”
“always here to help”
“then you know what’s left” chaewon smirked and you sat up, looking at her with innocent eyes.
“no” you let out.
“oh yes”
“i have no one to marry to” you argued.
“yes you do!” yunjin replied.
“i do not!”
chaewon and yunjin raised a brow and crossed their arms, “you don’t?”
as heeseung entered the uni entrance, you ran towards his direction and stopped in front of him.
“y/n why are you still here—“
“let’s get married” you said it out loud in front of everyone who was around.
your surroundings suddenly became quiet and everyone was staring at you two, starting to whisper and waiting for heeseung’s answer.
instead of answering he grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the entrance into a place in the garden next to the uni.
the walk there was making you so nervous and anxious, what if you were a bit too much? asking your childhood friend to marry you just to get a free dorm? are you that desperate?
when he finally stopped, he let go of your wrist and cupped your cheeks, looking straight into your eyes.
“what did you say?” he asked, his eyes looking for any sign or answer from you.
“i said, let’s get married”
heeseung could’ve swore his heart skipped a beat because he for real felt like he died at that spot.
“let me explain!” you said before he could respond.
“the uni are giving out free dorms to anyone who’s between the ages of 18-25 and is married or engaged” you sighed.
heeseung let go of his hold and sighed, looking down and closing his eyes.
you really didn’t mean that genuinely, did you? something in him really hoped you did.
“hee?” you asked, biting your lower lips, suddenly feeling more anxious than before
“sure, let’s get married” he chuckled.
you broke your second main wish on your list.
heeseung was just a few shifts away from getting enough money to get the both of you a place to live in, he could have told you that too, but he chose not to.
only crazy people would agree to this idea, you were so desperate that you actually just asked him to marry you, and he guessed he was one of those crazy people, because he had no idea why he said yes.
he had other way, without marrying you, but something about the idea of marrying you made him feel excited.
“i knew it i knew it! only crazy people would agr— wait what” you blinked a few times after you realized his answer.
“i said sure, let’s get married” he smiled softly and you were about to faint.
“no feelings are involved….right?” you hesitantly asked him, hoping he wouldn’t agree with you.
instead, he nodded slowly and hesitantly, “no feelings involved”
you regretted that sentence so bad because the day after, when he kneeled on one knee and held a ring out for you in front of everyone and proposed to you, your couldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you actually broke your third wish on your list a few years ago, you were in love with lee heeseung for years.
“y/l/n y/n, i have loved you ever since i can remember, i watched you grow up and grew up with you as well, i got used to being with you 24/7, i can’t see the rest of my life without you in it, will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to marry me?”
even though it was an act(according to you), it felt so real to the point where you cried and sobbed so badly, while putting on the ring he bought for you less than 24 hours ago.
it wasnt planned. the proposal wasn’t planned at all.
the plan was that you and heeseung will go to the uni secretariat and request an application for the free dorm since both of you are engaged now.
heeseung had no reason to put on this whole show and show everyone that you’re now engaged. you have no idea why he did it, and instead of getting angry at him, you fell in love with him even more.
it felt wrong, it felt not right.
but you didn’t care, you always knew your feelings for heeseung were somewhere deep inside your heart. you tried to push them away all the time, because there was no way your childhood friend, the popular boy in your highschool, the kid who grew up with you, had feelings for you.
you tried to deny your feelings but now you realized thrre was no use anymore, so you let yourself love him as much as you can.
it wasn’t the desperation that lead you to ask him to marry you, because then you’d ask literally any other guy, it was your pure love to him, to the guy who was always there for you when you needed him.
“heeseung! explain what was that!” his six other friends gathered in a circle, surrounding him and not letting him go.
“what was wha—“
“you and y/n? married?” jungwon shout.
“have you gone crazy?” jake added.
“and she said yes! something is not right” jay joined.
“yesterday you told us you have no feelings for her!” sunoo remarked.
“you didn’t even believe us when we told you she’s obviously in love with you” sunghoon tsked.
“something isn’t sitting right to me” ni-ki gasped.
“explain now!” they all said at the same time.
“calm down!” heeseung coughed, “i’ll explain to you everything later”
by later he meant after classes, at his house, together with you and your friends yunjin and chaewon.
“yunjin, chaewon” heeseung nodded at your friends.
“lee heeseung” they glared at him.
“come on! both of you knew about it even before” you pleaded.
“doesn’t change the fact that he’ll be stealing you from us now” they rolled their eyes.
“i’m still so confused” ni-ki tried to quicken everyone and get to the point.
“me and y/n are getting married—“
“yeah no shit sherlock” sunghoon cute him off and heeseung glared at him.
“anyway, y/n would you like the explain why?” he turned to you and smiled.
“the uni is giving away free dorms to married couples between 18-25 so—“
“you decided to get married to get a free dorm” jay finished your sentence.
“have you gone mad? heeseung worked his ass to get enough money to get the dorms for the bo— mhhhhmmm!!!” sunoo roamed but jake covered his mouth before he could continue.
“sunoo!!” jake coughed and turned to you with a smile, “don’t mind him he’s been stressed from work and uni lately”
the rest of you giggled awkwardly and tried to ease the atmosphere.
after you yunjin and chaewon left, the boys stayed with heeseung, looking at him with concern.
“what?” heeseung looked at them back with his bambi eyes.
“i don’t know hee, it feels like….she’s kind of using you” sunghoon spoke, jay slapped his arm and he whined.
“he’s right though, marrying you only to get a dorm is quite crazy” jungwon nodded.
“he’s even crazier for actually agreeing to all of this” ni-ki said and jake shushed him.
“ni-ki is right, i am crazy, i have no idea why i said yes but she wasn’t forcing anything on me” heeseung shrugged, “besides, i’ve liked her for so many years so—“
“ah ha!! we knew it!” they all said at the same time and heeseung sighed. what have he got himself into?
after everyone left, heeseung texted you, asking you to meet him in your usual spot.
you got ready and for the first time, you took a while to do so.
you stared at yourself in the mirror a few times and even checked different outfits. this has never happened to you ever before, especially not when you knew that you’re going to see heeseung.
heeseung saw you at your worst, why are you dressing up for him now then?
“i must be crazy, crazy crazy!” you shook away your thoughts and got out to meet your soon-to-be-husband.
“hee!” you saw his back facing you and as soon as he turned around you froze.
did he dress up for you too? why does he look so breathtaking suddenly? his bambi eyes match the rest of his beautiful features on his face so much, you’ve seen this man grow up, you know every detail about his face and you couldn’t explain why it was so sudden that you got caught by surprise because of his beauties.
shaking away your thoughts, you walked closer to him and smiled.
“hey hubby” you grinned.
“hubby?” he asked.
“a new nickname for my soon-to-be-husband” you chuckled and he nodded.
“i actually thought about something,” he turned to you, “our parents will figure it out sooner or later, should we tell them the truth or—“
“no, let them believe we’re getting married without any reason other than being in love”
you have no idea why you just said that. but you hid your face as soon as you realized what just came out of your mouth.
heeseung felt too flattered and suddenly didn’t know what to say. you keep on making him speechless.
“ahem,” he cleared his throat, “you do know that they’ll probably rush out things and even take the wedding plan to their own hands“
i don’t care, i’d like to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you as soon as i can. is what you wanted to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.
“y/n?” he asked. he noticed you were too deep in thoughts and waited for you to come back to sense.
“i’m aware” you nodded, “i’ve also got a text from the uni, we’ll be getting our dorm in the next week, so we should start preparing”
heeseung nodded and looked at you. you were suddenly feeling so nervous and shy to share an eye contact with him, so you broke it as he just kept staring at you and taking in your beauty.
“hey y/n” he said, “hm?”
“i don’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my life being married to you”
you looked over him and he had the genuinest smile you’ve ever seen.
it felt like the world had froze, and the snow that was falling suddenly stopped, it felt like it was just the two of you in this whole world.
“YOU’RE GETTING WHAT?” your mother yelled.
you and heeseung planned a dinner with both of your parents, to announce the big news.
things became quite awkward between the two of you, ever since your last encounter with him you could barely face him.
his sudden confession freaked you out and the only thing that came out of your mouth was “oh, okay” in the most dry way ever.
you wanted to tell him you feel the same, you wanted to tell him that you’ve been in love with him ever since forever. but one moment that caught you off guard ruined your chance.
you were stupid, stupid and idiot. heeseung probably thinks you hate his guts now.
heeseung in the meantime felt like he was breaking apart slowly. oh, okay?? that’s all you had to answer?
he felt dumb, he felt hopeless. the confession was completely out of the blue and unplanned, your beauty hypnotized him and he was so mesmerized by you that the words just came out of his mouth naturally.
what if you hate his guts now? what if he made you uncomfortable? what if you’ll regret it the last minute because you weren’t feeling the same about him?
all of those questions were eating him alive, and you didn’t help either. each time he came up to you, you were suddenly in rush and told him you have to go, it was breaking him inside slowly.
the dinner was one chance to finally talk with you again.
“married, mom. we’re getting married” you repeat what you already said a few seconds ago.
“when? where? how?” heeseung’s mother asked.
heeseung looked at you and smiled warmly, “it just happened, we’ve been together ever since childhood, it already felt like being in a relationship for so long, so we decided to marry each other” he chuckled and held your hand tightly, “to belong to each other until the day we die”
your parents looked at the both of you. you were sharing eye contact for so long, with heeseung smiling at you, looking deep into your eyes, and with you looking at him with nothing but pure love in your eyes that was making everyone in the room feel so jealous of you two.
“now kiss!” your mother said.
you and heeseung broke the eye contact and blinked a few times.
“what?” you asked.
“kiss then! i want to picture it and keep it in my photo gallery forever!” his mother added.
you were about to speak up until heeseung held your cheek to turn you to face him and it was only a matter of seconds until you felt his lips on yours.
it was your first kiss ever, your first time kissing someone, and it was his as well, but he lead you on so good that it made it look less awkward.
you were his first kiss. you, his childhood friend, stole his first kiss.
“we knew that it’ll happen one day!!” your mothers cheered, “we even have a whole wedding plan ready!!”
you and heeseung broke the kiss and shared an eye contact again.
you didn’t need to hear him say to know how much love he holds for you, and how he cherishes you so much.
and your eyes told him everything, they held the answers to all of the questions that bothered him. you love him as much as he loves you.
“i can’t believe you’re getting married, my little angels” your parents cried altogether which made heeseung let go of his hold on you and grab some tissues to wipe their tears.
“i love that ring by the way! heeseung you did a great job” your mother gave him thumbs up and he chuckled.
if only she knew that it was a ring he bought you in less than 24 hours and even rushed your friends to come with him and help him pick it only because he wanted his whole life to properly propose you.
it was a moving day already and your parents helped you pack every last thing, they even cried through the way, how could their princess leave them so fast?
“you can visit our house anytime!” you tried to comfort them.
“we’ll update you before that, we don’t want to catch you while doing the thing you know” your mother winked and you rolled your eyes, “mom!”
“i see you’re all packed and ready” heeseung came in to check on you.
“she is! take her away already!” your mother complained.
“not before you take this with you!” she went away for a few seconds and came back with a huge wrapped photo frame.
“don’t open it yet!! only when you get into your new house and get everything in place!!” she excitedly hugged the both of you and you nodded.
moving in was quite rough, you had a lot of boxes to unpack and organized, and you and heeseung never felt more awkward after the first kiss you shared.
you’ve barely spoke with each other and your friends were starting to get concerned.
“he told me he doesn’t mind marrying me and spending the rest of his life with me” you pout.
yunjin and chaewon shout and giggled, “girl! he’s more than in love with you!! he’s lovesick!!” they both said.
“what did you answer then?” yunjin asked.
“i told him okay” you smacked your head on the table.
“no way” chaewon gasped.
“yes way” you whined.
“you’re stupid!!” they both smacked you.
“then!!” you shout, “we had our first kiss on dinner in front of our parents” you whispered that part.
“what did you say? couldn’t hear you” chaewon said.
“oh she said that they shared their first kiss on dinner with their— YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS WITH HEESEUNG??” yunjin’s eyes widened.
“what happened after that?” chaewon asked curiously.
“we just finished dinner, and now we barely even talk” you sighed, “each time i see him i’m just blushing and running away, i can’t face him!”
“you have to!! you’re moving in soon!!” yunjin argued and chaewon nodded.
“it’ll be the death of me” you sobbed and they chuckled.
you were right at first, but slowly and surely heeseung made a joke and both of you got back to normal in no time, as if nothing happened between you two.
you even helped him organizing his closet and his room, and he did the same.
after a long day you and heeseung finally laid down on your now shared sofa.
“it’s been a rough day” you sighed.
“should we order something?” he suggested and you nodded immediately. you ended up ordering your favorite food.
“let’s open up the picture!!” you said and grabbed the picture your mom gave you earlier today.
you and heeseung both unwrapped it together and revealed an old picture of you and heeseung hugging each other with a huge smile on your faces.
���look at us then and look at us now” he giggled.
both of you hanged the picture right above your sofa and kept staring at it for a while.
“hey hee,” you spoke, “yeah?”
“i wouldn’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my days with you too” you turned to him, “until the day i die”
“is that your way of telling me you love me too?” heeseung froze for a second. you caught him off guard for the countless time already.
although he understood very clearly your feelings after you shared your first kiss, hearing your words made his heart beat fast.
it was a confirmation for him that all of his feelings for you were actually mutual all this time.
instead of answering his questions you grabbed his shirt and kissed him.
he put his hands around your waist and pushed you closer to him, holding you tightly as if he’s too scared to let you go.
breaking off the kiss was hard, but the lack of oxygen was kicking in, you pressed your foreheads together, still with your eyes closed.
“does that answer your question?” you giggled and you felt him smiling.
“i don’t think so, i need a bit more of it to feel certain” he teased and you tsked.
“i don’t need to be in a relationship with you to feel certain about my feelings and my willingness to marry you, i want to spend my life with you, i love you” you said and pecked his lips.
“i love you too, y/n” he pecked your lips again and it suddenly got into a fight between you two about who pecks the other more, until it ended up in a long, deep kiss.
“so let me get this straight. you and heeseung had been in denial for many many years and manipulated yourself into thinking that you don’t like each other at all at all, then when y/n’s desperate and broke ass heard of a chance to get a free dorm by getting married, she went up to you, heeseung, and asked her to marry you, you agreed to the proposal because at one point you stopped lying to yourself and realized you’re actually lovesick, and the rest is history” ni-ki finally breathed out after almost rapping this whole story.
“by history i mean y/n waking up from her denial and realizing her feelings to you” he added.
“yes, exactly” heeseung nodded and you chuckled.
you were sitting together with your friends on one table, yunjin and chaewon who were already aware of the story added a few notes here and there as ni-ki summarized your whole story.
“this is a story to tell your children” jay smiled and the rest nodded.
“we’re not planning to get pregnant anytime soon, we didn’t even have a wedding yet” you sighed.
“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunoo slowly nodded.
“why did you say that as if you went through something familiar” jungwon teased.
“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunghoon mocked sunoo.
“that was a good one!” jake laughed with him.
“children, literal children who found themselves in uni somehow” you sighed.
“at this point we won’t even need to have any children when we have them” heeseung agreed with you.
“it doesn’t matter, as long as i’m with you” you smiled and pecked his lips.
“get a room you two will you!”
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PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @lovelovelovebts @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v (bold means cannot be tagged)
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2K notes · View notes
reiding-writing · 2 months
Note
i LOVE your angsts
you can write something about the reader and spencer being apart after a conflict, being childish and sarcastic towards each other afterwards, and then, one of the cases ends in an explosion and, or, fire in which one of the two is trapped and alone, and the other takes risks to save him
who knows, maybe one of the two in the hospital is still delirious and asking to marry the other? anyway, you choose
basically two idiots in love and proud who can't bear the thought of losing each other
thanks 🥺🫶🏻
commitment [ s.r ]
You love Spencer Reid more than anything in the world, but committing to someone for life was not something to be considered lightly. A life or death situation might speed up the decision process a little.
spencer reid x gn!reader || angst || 4.0k ll masterlist!!
WARNINGS: commitment issues, fire, major character injury, miscommunication, happy ending
a/n: happy 29th of february? is that something to be celebrated? anyway, kinda took this one on a rollercoaster ride, enjoy :)
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Spencer Reid wanted a family.
He wanted to get married, have 2.5 kids and live in a house with two cars and a white picket fence.
But he didn’t just want that with anybody, he wanted that with you.
You weren’t sure.
You loved Spencer with your whole heart, you really did, but after your parents’ failed marriage and your negative experiences with romantic relationships in the past, the fact that you’d even been in a committed relationship with Spencer for the last four years was an achievement in itself.
You’d talked about it a few times, but you’d always come to opposite decisions. Spencer wanted to settle down with you, and you were afraid to do so.
Your most recent conversation on the subject ended less as a conversation and more as an argument.
“So you don’t really love me then?” You could see the betrayal in his eyes at you again shutting down the idea, his tone carrying more upsetness than accusation.
“No Spencer of course I love you what are you talking about?” You can feel yourself nearing tears at his question. He was quite literally the person you loved most in the world, and to have him shut down your feelings because you didn’t see eye to eye with him broke your heart.
You spent the next few days staying with Garcia.
You tried to not let your disagreement with Spencer influence your work, but the fact that you wouldn’t so much as spare a glance at each other during office hours tipped off the rest of the team about your situation immediately.
“So,” Morgan leaned his hip against the counter of the kitchenette as you fixed yourself a cup of coffee, neglecting Spencer’s mug on the shelf instead of making both cups at once like you’d usually do.
“So?” You raise an eyebrow at his incomplete sentence.
“What’s going on between you and pretty boy?”
You sigh before he even finishes the question. “It’s nothing for you to worry about,”
“Your lover’s quarrel is ruining the vibes, it is most definitely something for me to worry about,” You roll your eyes at his response. Trust Morgan to find the most unserious way to express his concern for the two of you.
Logically you knew it was because he wanted to tread lightly, but that didn’t make it any less eye-roll inducing.
“So,” He leans forwards a little. “What’s going on? Did you disagree on whether Star Trek or Star Wars was better or something?”
You give him a deadpan stare and he immediately surrenders, raising up his hands as he concedes.
“What else do you have to argue about? You guys are like the most boring couple I know,” Morgan shrugs nonchalantly, and you halt the stirring of your teaspoon in your drink.
Boring? You weren’t boring. Were you? Did Spencer think you were boring? Did he think your relationship was boring? Maybe he only wanted to tie the knot in the hope that it would ‘reignite the spark’ or whatever people said.
“Hey.” Morgan snapped his fingers in front of your face, effectively pulling you out of your internal spiral.
“Hm?”
“I asked if it was serious, Garcia told me you’ve been staying with her the last few days,”
Curse Garcia and Morgan’s no filter relationship.
“Everything’s fine, we both just need time to cool off,”
“You’re sure?”
You have to consciously suppress a sigh at his continued questioning. Morgan was great, but god did he push.
“Yes Morgan, everything’s fine,” You spoke with enough conviction that you managed to convince him of your truth, although whether you believed it yourself was another question.
“Good, because if you two ever broke up I’m pretty sure the whole team would fall apart,” His tone tells you his joking, as does his expression as he leaves you to your coffee, but your brain isn’t as kind as to just let the comment fly over your head, and you’re sent into another spiral as you make your way back over to your desk.
Do the whole team really think of your relationship with Spencer as a vital part of its inner workings? What if it really didn’t work out? What would happen then?
Would the whole team fall into chaos?
You didn’t want to break off your relationship with Spencer. But what if it did happen?
Your thoughts leak into your body language, your shoulders tense as you sit down and your eyes not quite focused on the papers on your desk.
It didn’t help that Spencer sat directly opposite you either. It was like the world was trying to rub your conflict in your face every time you saw his hair in your peripheral vision.
You could feel his eyes boring into the top of your head, but you knew he wouldn’t say anything. It was one of the faults in his character, and yours you suppose, because even if he did ask you what was wrong you’d probably blow him off anyway.
The tension between the two of you was enough for Emily and Morgan to share a glance across the bullpen to each other, although they didn’t have enough time to corner you into asking what was actually going on as Hotch called the team into the conference room.
The silent feud between the two of you continued into the meeting, sitting on opposite ends of the table like you were two negative magnets being forced away from each other by an insurmountable pressure.
It was a little silly you think, to be so removed from each other after a single argument, but when Spencer put his foot down about something, he held his ground under any circumstance.
And so the two of you were destined to lie in a stalemate, sat seething in silent frustration with each other until one of you eventually caved under the pressure.
It wasn’t going to happen.
It was another fault of the two of you. You were both too damn stubborn for your own good, and it was beginning to affect your ability to work together.
You were supposed to be two sides of the same coin. Two gears intertwined and seamlessly rolling off of each other in perfect unison. Instead, you couldn’t even decide on the importance of a half-burned diary found at the scene of the last scene you’d arrived at, the fourth building set ablaze in Fallon in the last five days.
“This guy is clearly dealing with marital struggles, that could be our trigger,”
Of course he had marital struggles, because you couldn’t escape your own issues even when you were two-thousand miles across the country.
“We don’t even know if that diary belongs to our unsub,” You sigh exasperatedly as you slump back in your chair.
“It was a grocery store. Who brings a diary to a grocery store unless it’s something extremely important to them? It has to belong to our unsub.”
“Spencer-”
“You know that I’m more likely to be right about this,”
You can’t help but scoff at his statement, discarding your coffee mug on the round table and causing small brown droplets to coat the surface of the wood from the force. “You’re really pulling the intelligence card? Seriously?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Spencer shrugs his shoulders with a furrowed expression. “My intelligence is what got me here and it’s telling me that this diary belongs to our unsub,”
“And my experience is telling me that you’re fixating on this goddamn diary instead of looking for things that could be actually useful to finding this guy because you want to feel sorry for yourself by living through his struggles.” You gesture exasperatedly to the book in his hands, becoming increasingly frustrated with Spencer’s attitude towards you.
He might be smart, but you had almost half a decade on him in terms of experience. He had zero right to speak to you like that mid-feud or not.
“You’re angry at me, I get it. Don’t let it cloud your judgement.” You push yourself up from the table with a scowl, leaving your chair pushed out as you exit the station with the door slamming shut behind you.
“You’re sure this is the right place?” Morgan furrows his eyebrows as you approach the house, clearly run-down and looking as though no-one had lived in it in several years.
“I’m sure,” Spencer gave a determined nod as he un-holstered his gun, following the team into the house to sweep it for the suspect.
Despite your argument about the importance of the diary, Spencer had continues to fixate on it completely, leading to a partial name that Garcia had managed to identify and ultimately the house you were now running into.
You feel under-appreciated sometimes. Hotch always ended up going with Spencer’s choices, experience didn’t matter. It was like he had a tattoo across his forehead that read ‘I’m always right’ and everyone else took it as law.
But you’re not going to disobey direct orders, even if you did want to throw all of Spencer’s favourite books into a filled bathtub and watch him mourn over the ruined pages.
��Clear!”
You sweep the house room by room, you, Hotch, and Emily in charge of the ground floor whilst Morgan and Spencer went upstairs.
It was a complete ghost house. There was no electricity, no running water, smashed windows and moulded wallpaper, the furniture looked decades old and above all it just smelled horrific, a mix of leaking waste pipes and faulty gas lines. Were you seriously supposed to believe someone was living here?
“All clear up here,” Morgan emerged at the top of the stairwell with a shrug. “We got nothing,”
“Of course we don’t,” You mutter the words to yourself with a roll of your eyes, silently confirming your own victory at the obvious lack of human presence in the house Spencer was so sure belonged to the unsub.
“Alright, regroup outside,” Hotch called up to the two, gaining a nod from Morgan as he went to retrieve Spencer and bring him down as you exited the building.
“Nothing?” JJ tilted her head slightly as the three of you emerged, met with Emily shaking her head with a slightly awkward expression as she met your gaze.
“Nope, gross, but nothing,”
“Gross is right, it smelled like shit in there-” You clear your throat into your elbow like you’d managed to infest your lungs from the smell.
“Where’s Spence and Morgan?” You shrug your shoulders at JJ’s question heading back to the SUV to grab a bottle of water.
“Knowing Reid he’ll be over-analysing something,” Emily chuckles slightly, patting JJ on the shoulder as she follows you past her. “Morgan’ll get bored soon enough,”
“Are we going or what?” You call out from where you’re leaning against the car, water bottle being waved around in your hand as you gesture your impatience.
“Morgan and Reid are-” Emily stops as she spots Morgan walking out of the front door. “—Reid is still inside,”
“Of course he is,” You grumble to yourself with a roll of your eyes.
“He’s refusing to leave until he’s found something,” Morgan shrugs as he reaches Hotch’s side. “He’s adamant that there’s something to be found in there,”
“God seriously?” You groan out your words as you rejoin the group. “It’s an abandoned shit hole, there’s nothing to be found—”
A loud crash from the house interrupts your complaint.
Loud crashes are never good.
Neither is the bright orange flicker of light you can see through the front door. Definitely not when you’re working an arson case and Spencer Reid is still inside the house.
It’s like all the hours of you pondering how best to make Spencer suffer for his actions completely disappear as soon as the flames are in sight.
You couldn’t be angry at Spencer if he was dead.
The way the wooden beams of the door frame collapsed under the heat really cemented that thought in your mind.
“Spencer—”
Your attempt at running inside is promptly stopped by an outstretched arm that collides against your waist, winding you slightly and causing your expression to turn from fear to anger at the person who’d interrupted your attempt to vacate Spencer from the building.
“What are you doing?!” You push Morgan’s arm away from you harshly as you attempt to bypass him, but you don’t even get two steps forward before his arm is again blocking you from running into the burning building. “Get off me!”
“You can’t just run into a fire-” You continue to struggle against Morgan’s grip as he pleads his case to you, causing his voice to strain from the exertion of trying to keep you in one place.
“Morgan if you don’t let me go right now I swear to god-” Morgan withstands your threats with his strength, and you’re becoming increasingly resentful at just how much effort he’d gone through to stay physically fit.
“The fire department are on their way-” JJ’s voice is soaked in concern as she speaks, both hands clenched tightly around her phone as she stares into the open door of the house and the yellow-orange light that is quickly enveloping anything visible inside it. “They’re four minutes out,”
“Four minutes isn’t fast enough-”
“Hey-” Morgan continues to struggle against your writhing, planting both of his hands firmly against your shoulders and shaking them slightly in attempt to get your attention. “He’s going to be fine.” The uncertainty in his gaze tells you the opposite.
By the time you hear the sirens of fire engines rounding the street-corner, you don’t have the mental energy to feel relieved. All you can do is stare into the raging inferno that encapsulates the entire ground floor of the house and pray desperately that it didn’t manage to climb up the stairs. You know you’re being too optimistic.
You barely compute the obvious when a stretcher is prepared in front of the entrance, only coming to when you hear a worried gasp emanate from Emily at your side as Spencer is laid down on it after being recovered from the house’s master bedroom, very clearly unconscious and less clearly still breathing.
“Breathing is shallow, pulse is weak, we need to get him on oxygen,” The EMTs converse between themselves as they rush the stretcher into the fire ambulance, leaving you and your team to stand idly on the sidelines as both the fire and Spencer are taken care of by the firefighters on the scene.
You pace the waiting room on your heels, the sharp contact of your feet on the marbled floor leaving small shock waves to shoot up your legs as you walk. You couldn’t just sit down, you weren’t going to relax in a chair whilst the love of your life was possibly dying of asphyxiation. You were worried, terrified, and you had to release that nervous energy somehow.
If Spencer was here right now you’re sure he’d reprimand you for your nervous habit, rattling on about how heel-striking is dangerous for the health of your legs as it compresses your entire weight into a single point that can have bad impacts on your bones. Thinking about it just makes you feel worse, making you pace more and ultimately creating a self-fulfilling cycle where the more you thought about what he’d say the worse your actions would get.
At least you were actually in the hospital waiting and not back in the station waiting for a call. God knows you’d be more of a burden to the rest of the team than a help right now.
“Visitors for… Spencer Reid?” The nurse checks the clipboard in her hands as she speaks, and the second you hear the first syllable of his name you’re diverting your pacing to walk straight up to the nurse’s side.
“He’s awake but dreary, and he’s refusing any medication to help with the pain in his esophagus,” The nurse explains his conditions to you as she leads you down the hallway, shrugging her shoulders slightly at the mention of his refusal of pain medication.
“He can’t take narcotics, do you have any substitutes? NSAIDs?”
The nurse nods slightly at your explanation, checking her clipboard once more as she stops you at a wooden door. “I’ll have a look and see what I can find,”
“Thank you,” You give her a small nod and a smile as she leaves you at the door, suddenly even more nervous than you were in the waiting room. Not only was Spencer now in recovery for smoke inhalation and minor burns, the last ‘conversation’ the two of you had was an argument. A stupid, petty argument because you were both stubborn assholes who couldn’t agree to disagree on anything.
What if he didn’t want to see you? You were probably the last person he wanted at his bedside right now after everything that’d happened. Maybe you shouldn’t go in and see him.
Your hand is already opening the door. Okay, well, too late to second guess things now.
“Hey Spencer…” Your voice is barely a whisper as you enter the room, door shutting seamlessly behind you as you walk towards his hospital bed, fingers ringing together as a work around to release all of the nervous tension in your body without bursting into tears. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I ate a campfire-”
His words are enough to break the small tension between you, and you laugh softly in a mix of relief and worry. At least he was alright enough to be able to speak properly. The burn on his arm looked pretty bad though.
“You look like you ate a campfire,” You approach his hospital bed slowly, taking a seat on the plastic chair at his side and gazing over him with an entirely pitiful look in your eyes.
“I’m okay…” It was like he could read your mind, then again your sure that most people would be able to see how distraught you were right now, but Spencer was always the first to notice, and he languishly reached his hand out to rest against your knee.
You started crying the minute his fingers made contact with your slacks.
“I’m so sorry-” It felt a little silly to be crying in front of someone who’d just been trapped in a burning building and was probably experiencing an insane amount of pain from the lack of medication, but emotions don’t always follow logical boundaries. “I’ve been so- horrible to you and you didn’t deserve it at all-”
You’re sure you look like an absolute mess by now, tears staining your cheeks from your crying, a blotchy complexion from your stress, wrinkled clothes and ruined hair from constantly messing with them to try and find a release for all of your anxiety, but the way Spencer looks at you would have you assuming you’d stepped right off a runway.
“You don’t have anything to apologise for,”
“But-”
“Nothing.” Spencer shakes his head to the best of his ability as he shuts down your rebuttal, and he shifts his hand upwards to lie over your two hands clasped in your lap. “I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for, that was my fault, and for that I’m the one who needs to be saying sorry,”
“No I get it-”
“I made you uncomfortable and upset and that was never my intention,” Spencer continues to cut off your attempts to speak, something he’d usually rather die than do to you - or anyone for that matter - but deemed a necessity to stop you from lumping all of the blame on yourself when you had done nothing more than establish a boundary. A boundary that Spencer didn’t respect.
“I love you, and I want to spend every waking hour I have in your presence, I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you by my side. I want to experience every up and down with you and keep you safe and loved at every instance,” Spencer gives your hand a small squeeze as he looks at you, your reflection in his eyes one of pure beauty and perfection. “I didn’t do that for you in our last disagreement, and I can only hope that you’ll forgive me and allow me to make up for that moving forward,”
Spencer’s fingers ghost over the back of your hand, pressing small circles into the dips between your fingers and gently massaging your skin. “I want to do nothing more than love you, and a piece of paper and a pair of rings won’t change that either way.”
You swear that you melt with every word that leaves the boy’s mouth, and if he wasn’t currently hospital bound you’d smother his face in kisses until he couldn’t breathe anymore.
In respect for his condition you turn you affections to his hand instead, holding it up to your face and pressing deft kisses against the curve of each of his knuckles, silent tears still sliding down your cheeks. Tears of a different trajectory this time, filled no longer with guilt and frustration and instead replaced with the realisation of just how much you mean to Spencer Reid.
“I love you so much,” Your lips brush the back of his hand as you speak, his fingers dampening with the lingering moisture of your tears as you hold his hand like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the earth. “So much.”
The smile that breaks out on Spencer’s face could cure any ailment in your mind within seconds. “I love you too,”
559 notes · View notes
venusacrossthestars · 2 months
Text
Doughnut Holes
Pairing- Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
A/N: I literally hate this, this is a hodgepodge of randomness, I'm so sorry. I also really want a doughnut hole now. This is @arieslost doing, we couldn't stop talking about Lando and I loved every second.
WC- 6k-ish
F1 masterlist
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One might compare the inner workings of a Formula 1 team to a carefully crafted house. You had the foundation, walls, floor, roof, all of the main components that made a structurally secure house. Then you had the fluff- all the things that weren’t technically needed but the things ultimately made a house, a home. Without the fluff, the house was nothing but a cold, unwelcoming shell. 
You would be considered a part of the fluff, you were among those who brought the warmth, the love, and all of the things that the others didn’t. While McLaren didn’t necessarily need you to run successfully, it seemed that a certain driver did. 
Lando considered McLaren to be his second home, after all, he does spend the majority of the year with them. The people, the constant movement, nothing was ever still and for the most part he enjoyed it. His whole career was based around speed, but sometimes he couldn’t help but wish for it all to slow down.
Like everyone, Lando had his good days, and then his not-so-good days. The latter becoming more and more constant. It would start off with something small- waking up five minutes before his alarm went off, putting on a pair of socks only to find one had a hole in it, or arrive at a meeting- only to find out that all the doughnut holes were gone. Then it would escalate, it could be anything, from learning that something was wrong with the car to having media duties after a terrible qualifying. Lately, anything that could go wrong was going wrong. 
The first time Lando had met you, well more like the first time Lando saw you, was no different. Lando had woken up late, couldn’t find a pair of matching socks, and had a half-dead phone because his charger had broke the night before. He didn’t care for meetings when he was in a good mood, and he certainly cared for them less when he was in a bad mood. By some miracle, he arrived on time for the meeting but not nearly early enough for a doughnut hole. Lando closed his eyes for a moment, he could hear as more and more people entered the conference room and hoped that this day could only get better. 
“Mate, you look like crap.” Lando’s eyes snap open and turn to the Aussie driver who looks at him with a frown. 
“It really hasn’t been my morning, more like it hasn’t been my week. Nothing is going right and frankly, I’m sick of it.” 
Oscar gives him a sad smile, “I’m sure things will turn around.” 
“I hope so.” 
The meeting had begun like every other meeting, a promise for a good season, what was being worked on, the same old same old. However, they weren’t even at the twenty-minute mark when another person entered the conference room. Lando, like everyone else in the room, turned their heads to the newcomer. 
“Sorry,” the newcomer squeaked out, clearly embarrassed by all the attention focused on her. “I’m just here to drop off the flash drive you forgot Zak.” 
“Oh, thank you Y/N, what would we do without you?”
“Crash and burn, sir. Crash and burn,” the girl- now known as Y/N replied with a smile. And although you weren't smiling at Lando, he really wished you were. 
You had left as quickly as she had came, the only thing left in Lando’s mind after the meeting was your smile and the fact that his day had gotten miraculously better. 
Bad days didn’t typically phase you, it generally meant that things would only get better. 
But, walking in late to a meeting you weren’t even a part of was not the pick me up you needed. The day had already started out rough- your car wouldn’t start, your sock had a hole in it, and worst of all- catering was out of doughnut holes by the time you got there. 
It was a quick 1, 2, 3 drop and go but there were so many important people in that room, including the two McLaren drivers. Even though you didn’t do anything remotely embarrassing, you were up that entire night overthinking it, but in reality, it wasn’t like anyone was going to remember the girl who simply dropped off a flash drive. 
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A week had passed since the meeting, and things were looking up for little Lando Norris. He had matching socks, a working phone charger, and most importantly he was holding the last powdered doughnut hole. However, he had not seen the girl from the meeting anywhere. It wasn’t surprising with how many people were coming and going, each had their own responsibilities. That didn’t mean Lando wasn’t disappointed, there was something about that girl. 
A quiet ‘son of a bitch’ caused Lando to snap out of his thinking, as he turned to face who was muttering such profanities so early in the morning he was met with the slight of you standing at the catering table. 
“Everything ok?” Lando would be a fool if he was going to let his opportunity to talk to you slip through his fingers. 
“Huh?” you responded almost unsure if the Lando Norris was talking to you. 
“You just swore? So I’m assuming something happened?” 
“Oh, it’s nothing really, its just that- never mind it's stupid.”
“Not stupid enough for you to be swearing at 8 in the morning.”
You wave your hand dismissively, "it's just that I woke up on time and got here early all for a doughnut hole and there's none left.” 
Lando casts his eyes down to the napkin in his hand that contains the last doughnut hole and holds it out to you, “here you can have mine.” 
You look down at his extended hand and bring both of yours up in protest, “No it's ok. I think I’ll survive without it.” 
“No take it, I shouldn’t really even be eating it.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Absolutely positive,” Lando says as he holds his hand out further. 
“Thank you,” you take the precious breakfast treat with little hesitance and pop it into your mouth. 
“I’m Lando by the way,” Lando holds out his now empty hand. 
“I know, I’d be surprised if anyone working here didn’t know who you were.” You tease, grabbing his hand with yours and shake it. 
“Oh, I supposed you're right.” Lando rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, ‘way to make a complete fool of yourself, obviously, she knows who you are’ he thinks.
You giggle at his response and offer him a smile, “I’m Y/N,” but before you can say anything else you are interrupted by the shrill ringing of your phone, “and I am needed elsewhere, have a nice day Lando. It was lovely meeting you.”
Lando watches as you answer the phone and scurry off elsewhere, but he is definitely going to have a good rest of his day now, not even the lack of a doughnut hole could bring his day down.
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Before what you and your coworkers now call the doughnut hole occurrence™, you've never interacted with Lando, there were a few occasions where you happened to be at the same meeting as him, but never enough for him to notice you or have him introduce himself. Now, however, you seemed to be seeing him a lot more, well more than the other McLaren driver. Maybe, it was because both of your schedules lined up or it was like that phenomenon where you see one certain car, then all of the sudden you’re seeing that car everywhere. But what changed in the matter of weeks that now he was everywhere? 
You would be lying if you said you didn’t find the British driver attractive. But you were two separate worlds away, you- an assistant who was a constant people pleaser, and he was, for a lack of better words, himself. You didn’t consider the two of you friends, hell you had one conversation with the guy over a breakfast treat. You didn’t even really consider the two of you colleagues, you both ran in different circles of the racing world. That fact didn’t stop you from giving him a smile every time you saw him and to your, and your coworker's surprise, he would give the small gesture a return. 
You truly hated being a people pleaser, especially now more so than ever as you stood outside the door of Lando’s driver room. “Stipud Debbie, stupid saying yes. ‘Oh Y/N they need a temporary assistant for Mr. Norris. I told them you’d be perfect for it', ” you mimic Debbie, your supervisor. “Why couldn’t I have said no?” 
Many of your co-workers liked to joke that you were a jack of all trades. That you could be pushed into the deep end without knowing how to swim and learn that second. You were a quick thinker, that's how its always been. But even the most flexible of people had their limits, and you were currently staring yours in the face. 
Lando didn’t know what to expect as he opened the door of his room to the hallway, but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting you of all people to be standing there muttering to yourself. 
“Can I help you?” Lando asked, puzzled as to why you were here. 
“Sorry, I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Y-”
“Y/N, “Lando interrupts, “I remember you. You’re the girl I gave my doughnut hole to.” 
“Oh, yeah. That’s me,” you chuckle out, “it looks like I’m your new assistant for the foreseeable future.” 
“I don’t really see the need for an assistant,” Lando says. His words cause your face to fall, and he quickly tries to backtrack, “It’s nothing personal but during the season I am either- traveling, racing, doing media duties, or sleeping. So I really don’t know who said I needed one.” 
“I don’t know either, Debbie, my supervisor recommended me and now here I am,” you gesture out, “and I really don’t want to tell my boss that you said that.”
“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find something for you to do. I mean I do, do things.”
“Ok,” you draw out with a nervous breath, “I mean I am a bit of a people pleasure. As long as you don’t ask me to do anything gross, illegal, or really immoral I think we’ll be fine.”
“See those are all the things I need an assistant for,” Lando jokes. He notices how your shoulders lose some of their tension. “But if you are my assistant does this make me your boss?” 
You seem to ponder his question, “Maybe, but probably not.” 
“Fair enough.”
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The first few weeks of working for, or more with Lando have proved to be smooth sailing. You weren’t being pulled in eighteen million directions, nor were you running around like a headless chicken. Lando was right when he said he didn’t really need an assistant. You probably answered a few emails, some phone calls, ran out and have gotten him a few random things but that was about it. 
There were also a few things you have learned about Lando during your time together. He never demanded, he always asked politely- something that your previous employers and co-workers never did. He also always insisted on eating meals together, anytime he ate he always made sure you were eating too. Lando also talked a lot, not that it was a bad thing, at first it was a bunch of small talk- he asked about your family, if you hand any pets, what your friends were like, what kind of hobbies you enjoyed, things like that. Then he would ask your opinions on things, what he should wear, what sandwich he should get and once joked with you, “you’re my assistant, you should be telling me what to do anyways.” It almost felt like a friendship instead of an employee-employer relationship. 
Today was no different, Lando was going on about some TikTok he saw the previous night, a TikTok that he had already sent you. “And the dude wiped out and ate shit. I’m telling you, that while I felt bad, I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard.” 
“The way he landed, there is no way he didn’t break a bone or several.” You responded not looking up from your computer. 
It was hard working with a funny, talented, kind, handsome man. A man whom you were already attracted to without knowing him and getting to know him, the really Lando Norris, was only making it worse. 
“Let's do something, I’m dying of boredom,” Lando drones out, flinging himself down on the couch next to you. 
“Lando, I am trying to reply to some of your business emails, y’know my job.” you continue to type away, trying to emphasize your point. However, you are rudely interrupted when your laptop is ripped out of your grasp. 
“The emails will still be there later, let's go do something!” Lando exclaims now dangling your computer away from you. 
“Like what?” 
“I don’t know, I was hoping you’d have an idea.” 
“Yeah, I got one.” 
“Really?” 
“Yeah, it's called giving me back my computer so I can do my job,” you deadpan as you lunge for your computer. Lando's reflexes however are much quicker than your movements, so you are left pressing into him, computerless. 
You quickly sit up and turn away from him, trying to hide your embarrassment. By doing so you miss the small frown that Lando gives at your quick retraction. 
Lando however quickly recomposes, “I know,” he stands, “let's go bowling!” 
“Bowling?” 
“Yeah, y’know, the game where you basically throw a heavy ball down a lane and try to knock down the pins.”
“I know what bowling is you doof.” 
“Then why’d you say it like that?” 
“Because out of all the options in the world, you pick that.” 
“For your information, I like to bowl.” 
“Yeah, you also like to golf. You really like your old man sports huh?” You tease. 
“Hey! That’s not very nice missy,” Lando waves his finger at you mockingly. 
“Fine, I apologize Mr. Norris. I would love to go bowling.” 
“Yippie!” 
“Lando?” 
“Yeah?”
“Never say that again.” 
“Yeah, right, sorry.” 
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Lando was excited, he actually didn’t know why he picked bowling. Truthfully, he just wanted to get out and do something, preferably with you. These past few weeks with you as his assistant have been amazing. Not because he had someone running around doing his bidding, but because he had someone to talk to. At first, it felt weird talking to you, he kept asking you random questions. He didn’t want you to feel pressured into answering him just because in some run-around way he was your boss. He wanted you to feel comfortable around him, and he could tell that the more he joked around with you, the more at ease you felt.
The two of you walked down the hallway towards the exit, talking seemingly about nothing. Well, you were doing most of the talking, not that he minded, he could listen to you ramble for hours. Whenever you were around, everything else became fuzzy. He noticed how your eyes got a certain twinkle to them as you talked about your favorite things. He knew how you loved Oreo cheesecake, and that your favorite doughnut holes were the red velvet ones, but since catering didn’t offer those you had to choose your other favorite, powdered sugar, and that you also had a distaste for fish, claiming it tasted like how still water smelled. 
He tried to show you that you were more than an assistant to him. He always made sure to eat with you, he never demanded anything, he asked your opinion on important things. Lando knew, however, that those things were the bare minimum, hence why he asked you to go bowling. 
“Where ya going?” The familiar accent of Lando’s teammate stopped them in their tracks. 
“Hey Oscar,” you turned to great the Australian, “Lando wanted to go bowling, so I guess we're going bowling.” 
“I haven’t been bowling in forever. Last time I went I had to play with the gutters up.” 
You gasped, clasping your hands in front of you, “why don’t you come with us?”
Lando froze at your invitation, he was hoping that it would just be the two of you. He could see Oscar's gears turning in consideration. He looked at you then behind you at Lando, who was shaking his head and moving his hand in front of his neck, trying to tell his teammate to say no. 
A grin split across Oscar's face, “y’know what, I would love to go bowling with you and Lando.” 
At Oscar’s response, you swiftly turned back around to Lando, who swiftly changed his movement. Rubbing the back of his neck he gave you a sheepish smile, “great, the more the merrier I guess.” 
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The drive to the bowling alley was painfully quiet, normally the silence would be filled by Lando’s rambling but the Brit had no quirky comments. This led you down a spiral, did you do something to upset him? Was he mad at you for inviting Oscar? You thought the two of them were close and that Lando would’ve invited Oscar anyways after running into him. 
The three of you entered the alley still in silence and frankly, you were fed up with it, “is this a bad time to say that I am absolutely terrible at bowling?” 
“No,” Lando speaks up, “it just means that I am going play the easiest round of my life.” 
The clerk hands you your shoes and assigns your group a lane. “I feel like a clown with these shoes,” Oscar admits. 
“You look like one too,” Lando deadpans. 
“Jeez, no need to be rude.” 
You look at Lando with a raised brow. You can't tell if he is joking or not. 
“Anyways,” you but in, shifting their attention to you, “How are we going to decide who goes first?” 
“It’s only fair that the master goes first to show the peasants how it's done,” Lando declares. 
You and Oscar share a look of ‘can you believe this guy?’ “Go for it then all mighty master.” 
You watch as Lando goes for his turn, and much to Oscars and yours amusement the ball goes straight to the gutter. The little screen over the lane plays a silly animation indicating that Lando, had in fact, not hit a single pin. 
You are unable to control your laughter, tears pool in your eyes. You have to hunch over in your seat in order to keep your laughter at bay. 
“It’s not funny,” Lando pouts. 
“You’re- you’re right,” you wipe at your eyes and take a deep breath, “it’s not funny. It’s fucking hilarious.” You managed to get out in between a fit of giggles. 
“You're lucky your laugh is cute,” Lando waves his finger in warning. 
Your stomach flips at his admission. Your laugh, cute? Your gaze meets Landos and he is quick to turn around and go for his second turn. 
“Did I hear that right?” you whisper to Oscar. 
“Yup,” is all he offers in response. 
You hear a collision of the ball and pins followed by a loud “SPARE!” from the overhead TV, indicating that Lando has in fact struck a spare.
“See I just needed a warm-up,” Lando says wiggling his fingers at you and Oscar. “Who’s next?” 
“Ladies first,” Oscar gestures for you to stand. 
Rolling your eyes you stand, “wow, so chivalry isn’t dead.”
Walking over to the lane you can’t help but look back at Lando, who gives you a double thumbs up. Taking a deep breath you throw the ball down the lane, and to your surprise, you manage to hit, not one, not two but four pins. 
“Not too bad,” you hear Lando from behind you. 
“All those years of Wii bowling must’ve paid off.” 
“Just don’t throw it backward.” 
“I make no promises.” 
Your next toss is much better, out of the six pins left you managed to knock down five. You turn around to gloat but the two McLaren drivers are in discussion, Lando looking pissed off and Oscar looking unapologetic. 
“Is everything ok over here?” You stand with your arms crossed staring down the two of them. You came out to have fun, not to babysit two pissy twenty-something-year-olds. 
“Everything is fine,” Lando snips out. 
“If you say so, Oscar you're up.” 
The Aussie groans, “you both did good, this is going to be embarrassing.” He points to you, “I thought you said you were bad at bowling.” 
“I’ve channeled the Wii bowling Gods and they have blessed me, maybe you can do the same,” you tease as you sit next to Lando. 
You turn your attention to Lando and quietly ask, “Is everything ok?” 
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” 
“Well you were quiet on the drive here, you’ve been a little bit snippy towards Oscar and I. And just now- you were talking to Oscar and you looked pissed off.” 
“I’m fine.” Lando shrugs off your worrying. 
“He’s just pissy I interrupted your alone time,” Oscar interjects. 
“You went already?” Lando asked, surprised by the quickness. 
“Yeah, it goes by fast when you roll two gutters in a row.” He shrugs nonchalantly. 
“Wow, you really are bad,” you admit, “but what do you mean by ‘our alone time.” 
“Nothing,” he shrugs again. 
Lando is quick to get up, seemingly uncomfortable with whatever Oscar meant by ‘alone time’. Now you really need to know. 
“Oscar,” you poke him in the shoulder, “what did you mean by that?”
“Like I said, nothing,” 
“You might be able to act all innocent and good in front of the cameras, but you Oscar Piastri are the biggest shit-stirrer of them all.” 
Oscar just shrugs at that, leaving you to wonder what he meant. Did Lando truly just want to spend time with you and only you? Was this just because Lando saw you as a friend and wanted to hang out. Or was this as an ‘I want to get to know you better because I like you and could potentially have feelings for you?’ hang out? The first one, you rationalized, it's definitely the first one. 
The rest of the game went in a blur, too focused on what Oscar said and what your overthinking brain was processing. 
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Lando has never felt more uncomfortable and furious at the same time, and all because of Oscar’s comment. He really shouldn’t have let it get to him, it was just a friendly jab, Oscar knew how Lando felt about you. He also couldn’t get the look on your face at Oscar's comment out of your head. You probably thought he was a creep or some weirdo. 
The ride back, albeit not as uncomfortable as the ride there, was still filled with this silence that Lando did not care for. 
“Mate, how did you manage to roll a gutter almost every single time?” 
“I don’t know, it's almost sad,” Oscar admits. 
“Oscar, it is sad,” you but in, “there has to be a statistic out there or something saying it's harder to do that than actually knocking down pins.” 
“You’re one to talk,” Oscar exclaims, “you still lost.” 
“Yes, Master bowler Mr. Norris reigns supreme. But at least I managed to score points. I even got a strike! That’s more than you can say!” 
“I am never hanging out with you two again. You are the worst.” Oscar huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and stares out the car window like a pouting child. 
‘Good’ Lando thinks to himself. He would’ve said it out loud but after you had asked him what was wrong at the bowling alley he tried to be in a better mood. Granted, having Oscar come along wasn’t what he had in mind when he asked you to hang out with him, but he still had an alright time. Plus, he did get to hang out with you, which was better than sitting around doing nothing while you answered emails. 
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” you told Lando once back in his driver's room. 
Lando whipped his head around to see you packing up your laptop and other miscellaneous belongings scattered around the room. “What? But it's still early.” 
“Yes, and I still have emails to answer remember?” 
Lando groaned at the remembrance, “but I’m still-” 
Lando stopped at the sight of your raised palm, “If you say you are still bored I am going to smack you, and besides I think you need to call it an early night because you were extremely crabby with me and Oscar earlier.” 
“Crabby? I’m not a toddler who forgot his nap.”  
“Are you sure? Because it was hard to see the difference earlier.” 
“I just wanted to hang out with you.” 
“And you did hang out with me, did you not? 
“Yeah, but Oscar was there too. I just wanted the two of us to hang out.” 
“Lando you see me every day, we ‘hang out’ all the time.” 
“No, you’re working most of the time,” he corrects you. 
“We get nearly every meal together, no? You send me TikToks, funny tweets, reels. You meet me after all your media duties, qualifyings, and after the races. We see plenty of each other.” 
“Do you not like spending time with me?” Lando asks dejectedly. 
“Did I say I didn’t like spending time with you?” 
“No, but you also didn’t say you liked spending time with me.” Lando points out. 
You roll your eyes and Lando watches as you walk closer to him. Lando feels the heat of your palms through his shirt where they lay on his shoulders. His brain nearly short circuits, while this isn’t the first time the two of you have touched one another, this one feels different. 
“Lando I like spending time with you,” you shake his shoulders. “Maybe a little more than I should.” It’s quiet and Lando knows that he probably wasn’t meant to hear that. However, he feels relieved at the statement, knowing now that the feeling is mutual. 
You smile again, “as I said earlier- I still have emails to answer and you should get some rest, you crabby toddler.” 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he waves you off, “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” 
“Of course, Goodnight Lando.” 
Lando can’t help the grin that breaks out on his face, and it stays that way till he falls asleep. 
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It's the next morning and you are tying your shoes on when there is a knock at your door. 
“I’ll be right there, just give me a second,” you call out. 
You make it to the door and when you open it you are greeted with Lando’s smile. However, your view is obstructed when Lando all but shoves a brown paper bag in your face. 
“What is this?” you ask taking the bag, “it's not a dead animal is it?” 
“Do you think I'm so sort of psychopath?” 
“Do you really want me to answer that?” 
“Just open the bag.” 
Hesitantly, you unroll the top of the bag and peer inside. Thankfully, it's not a dead animal, instead in the bag lies half a dozen red spheres. 
“You did not!” You exclaim, and you can’t help but break out into a grin. “Where did you get them?” 
“I’ve never seen anyone get so excited over doughnut holes,” Lando laughs. 
“They aren’t just any doughnut holes! You got me red velvet doughnut holes, my favorite.” You pull Lando into a hug. In which he wastes no time returning your embrace, savoring the way you fit perfectly in his arms. 
“See I remember things, especially if they are about you.” 
You pull away, mostly from the shock of what you just heard. You can feel your cheeks heat up, and quickly you clear your throat, “Thank you, Lando, I really appreciate it. Do you want one?” 
“How can I refuse a pretty girl like you.” 
Your jaw drops, and Lando looks nonetheless phased as he pops the ball of dough in his mouth. 
“So on the agenda today is-” you begin, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach, pulling your phone out to see what is actually on the agenda for the day. 
“Nope,” Lando snatches your phone from your hands, “I’m kidnapping you for the day.” 
You stare at him dumbfounded, “what?” 
“You and me are officially off the clock for the entire day, no meetings, no phone calls, and no emails.” 
“I mean that's kind of you, but why?” 
“Why not,” he shrugs, “I thought you liked to hang out with me,” Lando wiggles his eyebrows. 
Your palm meets your forehead, “I’m definitely getting a headache by the end of today,” you mutter. 
“I hope that was a comment about how excited you are to hang out with your favorite McLaren driver.” 
“Who said you were my favorite?” 
“Ouch, I buy you doughnut holes and this is how you repay me?” 
“How ever will the little Lando Norris survive?” 
“Come on you loser, I have kidnapping duties to attend to.” 
Who would’ve thought that skipping work with the person you work for could be so fun? Lando had all but dragged you from tourist attraction to tourist attraction, shop to shop. It almost feels like a date, he opens the door for you, offers to pay for your trinkets, all the things a boyfriend would do. You are quick to remind yourself that this is just a friendly outing, just two friends hanging out. 
The topic of dinner was being thrown around, after eating junk all day the two of you needed some substance, “I was thinking sushi,” you tease. 
“I know you're joking because you also hate fish,” he points out, “I was thinking more Italian, I know a place.” Lando grabs your hand and drags you in what you assume is the direction of the restaurant. 
“Did you have fun today?” Lando asks as the two of you are seated in what feels like a set right out of a romance movie. 
“I did, thank you.” 
“I’m glad, I felt bad for my behavior yesterday. I felt like an ass.” 
“Is this why kidnapped me?”
“No,” he quickly shakes his hands, “I did this because…” Lando trails off. 
“You did this because?” You urge him to go on. 
Instead of giving you an answer he scratches his chin and looks shyly at you. Your mind automatically goes to the worst-case scenario. 
“You’re firing me, aren’t you,” you rip the band-aid off, no point in beating around the bush, “I should’ve known it. First, you get me my favorite treat, then you take me all around the city. Oh my God, I should’ve known.” You slump down in your chair and cover your face with your hands. 
During your spiral you failed to notice how Lando’s eyes nearly bludge out of his head, he too is now panicking. 
You feel Lando’s warm hands as he reaches across the table to grab your wrists, “Y/N, god no I’m not firing you,” you still refuse to look at him afraid that if you do you’ll burst out in tears. “Come on baby, show me those pretty eyes.” 
That grabs your attention. Your head quickly shoots up, “what did you just say?” 
“Um, that I’m obviously not firing you?” 
“No, no, after that, you called me baby.” 
“Yeah, it um slipped out.” 
“Oh,” is all you can manage out. 
Lando lets off a soft curse, “I was going to tell you after dinner, but the reason I was pissed off yesterday was because I wanted to take you out bowling, kind of as a date?” 
“As a date?” You ask in disbelief. 
“Yeah, but then you invited Oscar, and I tried to get him to say no but that little shit doesn’t know how to take a hint. Or more like he does and just wanted to see me suffer. He didn’t make it any better with those little comments,” Lando rambles on, “what I mean to say is that I kind of have liked you since you interrupted that meeting a couple months ago.” 
You have never been at a loss for words like you are at this moment. “You,” you point to Lando, “like me,” then point to yourself. 
Lando nods, “Why though? I mean why me?” you ask. 
“Well at first I thought you were cute, you look so frazzled but yet you held your confidence. Then you smiled, and I wanted to be the one you smiled at so badly. I thought I would never have the chance to talk to you but then there you were, swearing at the lack of doughnut holes, and I couldn’t believe the universe had given me a second chance. Then you got a phone call and scurried away before I could ask for your number or anything like that. I was so mad at myself for the following weeks. I couldn't get your laugh, your smile, your snarkiness out of my head. Then you were outside my door saying you were my new assistant, and I almost turned you away.” 
If you were lookin in a mirror the only way to describe how you looked right now would be similar to a deer in headlights
Lando continues, “then, these past few weeks, I’ve gotten to know you more and more and I couldn’t help falling more and more. So yesterday I was planning on confessing after bowling but then Oscar joined us and I was pissed off and I took out on the both of you.” 
“Oh. This is a walking HR disaster,” you jokingly mutter.
“If you don’t feel the same I understand. And I won’t be upset if you don’t want to work with me anymore.” Lando quickly adds in. 
“But I do feel the same. I’m just confused,” you admit. 
“What are you confused about?” 
“You’re a famous Formula 1 driver, you are so big in this world that McLaren probably wouldn’t be able to function if you left. I’m nobody in this world, if I left everyone would go on like it's a normal day.” 
“You’re not nobody to me. I need you to function.” 
You smile at his admission, and you close the distance between your hands on the table, “I would consider this an amazing first date.” 
“Really?” Lando asks hopefully, “I kinda just complied a bunch of stuff together hoping you would like it.” 
“I loved it,” you admit before a look of horror flashes over your face, “I didn’t say anything after your confession, did I?” 
“You don’t have to,” Lando interrupts. 
“But I want to, that morning when you gave me the last doughnut hole I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was just a small gesture that made my day. I thought I knew who Lando Norris was before then, an attractive Formula 1 driver who just so happened to drive for McLaren-” 
“You think I’m attractive?” Lando giggles. 
“Yes I do,” you sigh out, cheeks burning at the thought of saying the rest of your feelings out loud. “But you quickly became Lando, the person who asked about the little things, the person who got to know me. All the little quirks that make me, me. I was trying so hard to stay professional, not let your little touches, the way you would talk, or all the times you insisted on getting lunch with me, all those things get to me. I was surprised when you offered me your last doughnut hole but I am so thankful that you did.” 
“I guess we should thank catering for never ordering enough doughnut holes for this?” 
“We should, I guess that doughnut holes can be our thing.” 
“Of course, they can be our thing.” Lando pauses, “Does this mean we’re dating now?” 
“Take me on another date, an official one this time, and you got yourself a deal.”
340 notes · View notes
ajortga · 27 days
Text
sweet pt.2
pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader
summary: jenna can't stop thinking about you, the coffee girl. she may or may not have asked you out on something her friends consider as a date.
word count: 3k+
read pt.1 here! sweet- part 1
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It became sort of a habit for Jenna.
It would be music, think about you, eat, think about you, sleep, think about you, film, yay Jenna gets to see you!
Maybe she’s over exaggerating it, but at the same time she’s really not.
Jenna wasn’t the regular person to be a love bird. Head over heels for someone was barely something she was used to. Well sure she would pass some guys in the city or notice them on set and think, “Oh his hair is perfect” or “He’s kind of cute.” She’s dated a few guys, broke them off because they weren’t for her.
All of the guys only hung out with her knowing she was a celebrity, or she would really think they were the one, until they lost interest and treated her like some toy. She hated when they did that. In fact, she was disgusted by it so much that she didn’t even want to think of having a lasting relationship at all. She just had to find someone right for her.
-
“You’re awfully quiet,” Melissa nudges Jenna as they’re both in their Tara and Sam outfits.
Jenna hums, looking at the taller latina with a small roll of her eyes while their makeup is getting patched up, “Just hungry, I guess.”
She shifts in her seat, her earbuds in and waiting for this day to be over, she forgot an umbrella. Of course the forecast would show as non-stop rain the whole day with thunderstorms, she literally checked the day before and it said sunny.
“Well, we only have to shoot like, 5 scenes. You wanna go with Jas and Mason to the Italian place you like? On me.”
Tempting.
But Jenna’s mind has other plans. 
“I think I’m gonna drop by the coffee place next door, craving a latte you know?”
She sees the way Melissa’s face twitches upwards, almost as a confused yet searching look, “You don’t like coffee.”
“The shop changed my mind, Y/N recommended a latte that is actually really good.”
“Y/n you say?” And from Melissa’s sing-song voice, she knows what’s coming.
“Yes,” Jenna scoffs, she can feel her ears begin to heat up.
“I didn’t know you had a friend named Y/N.”
It’s a little quiet, the only noise is from Jenna’s half put in earbud, “I met her a couple days ago, she’s a barista that helps her parents run their coffee shop. Keeps the place cozy and organized.”
“So she’s a barista?”
“Yes,” Jenna replies, half distracted as she picks at her cuticles.
“Who helps run her parent’s coffee shop?”
“Yep.”
“Next door?”
“Uh huh.”
“You like her,” Melissa smirks, it’s not a question anymore.
“Yes-Wait what? No!” Jenna slaps Melissa’s arm, caught off guard.
Jenna hears her laugh, half-heartedly, “I’m just kidding, but you do seem out of it, are you thinking about her often?”
She shrugs, picking off skin that she just scratched.
“Well I think you are, you’re nervous.”
Now the daydreamer turns to face Melissa, “No I’m not, I just think she’s sweet and she’s someone that already brought me out of that introverted lookin’ shell when I first meet people.”
It was true. It’s like you two knew each other when you first met, she hopes you thought of her that way too. She hopes you’re thinking of her as much as she thinks about you everyday.
Melissa looks down at Jenna’s cuticles, then back up at her, “You’re thinking about her, you’ve been quiet today and don’t think I didn’t see what song you’re listening to. You never listen to love songs!”
“What?! I have not been listening to love songs!”
“Lover by Taylor Swift? Lingers by The Cranberries? About you by the 1975?  Dark Red by Steve Lacy??”
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
“I just have taken interest in love songs I guess, it’s spring anyways right?”
“Spring my ass! That is bullshit!” Jasmine chimes in, making Jenna flinch and turn to the corner where Jas was hiding.”
“What the fuck Jas.. Are you eavesdropping?” Jenna shrieks.
“I know when a girl likes a girl,” Jas rolls her eyes and immediately stands up from her squatting position, “Don’t think me and Mason didn’t see you texting someone that you named mY y/N OOoO La lAAaAa..”
Jasmine shuts up with a slipper slapped into her face.
“Just go ask her out or something,” Mason says, popping behind Jasmine and getting the second pair of slippers thrown to his stomach, making him yelp.
“I barely even know her,”
“And there's no difference, you barely fall in love, girl, love at first sight for you means that she’s the one. You know your priorities and she checks all of them. If not, you wouldn’t be listening to those dumb love songs.”
“Gotta agree Jenna, what about this, we’ll go to the Italian restaurant first, then we’ll leave you alone with her in the coffee shop, you come out and tell us how it goes.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you love us.”
“Ugh.”
-
The alfredo pasta was twirled from the fork Jenna was holding, eating as the cast of scream 6 giggled and talked during their lunch break. It was a big bowl of pasta to say the least, she shared it with the whole cast but she was eating it up like there was no tomorrow. She knew around this time she came to your cafe, she only came around two times, but if you didn’t see her on a Thursday in the afternoon, she can almost feel the disappointment you might feel. Or hopes you feel, Jenna’s wondering to herself if you even think of her.
“Oh she’s falling hard for this silly Y/N girl,” Jasmine whispers to Melissa, to which she agrees almost immediately.
“No I’m not,” Jenna blurts, placing down her fork.
Everyone in the table clicks their tongue, a few, “Oh come on” and “Liar!”
“Well you wouldn’t have responded, we’ve been talking to you for the past 5 minutes and you only jerk your head when you hear anything about her!” Jasmine groans, showing her hands if they would somehow present something.
She signals for the check, she quickly pays, and as soon as that happens her real life core four push her out of the restaurant and to the outside of the coffee shop, like parents.
“Go,” Jenna’s shoulder was pushed into the door and it was too late to go back as she heard the familiar bell ring.
“I hate you Jas,” her hands flip the 3 people giggling behind the foggy window behind her as she hears the voice she’s been thinking about the whole day.
“Jenna!” Your tiny figure pops out from the coffee bean machine, waving to her happily.
Cute, she thinks to herself. You’re so cute.
“Almost thought you wouldn’t come today,” you murmur, making Jenna shake her head.
“Just had some lunch with friends, but I couldn't miss out on coffee on Thursdays though.”
“Ah,” you hum, your eyes focused on the latte art you were working on.
The only noise is the r&b music and the small chatter that keeps the environment comforting. 
A small bunny was being created, pouring the creamer carefully. 
“You’re almost looking as tiny and cute as that bunny,” your co-worker, Matteo says, a few feet away from you.
A soft laugh erupts in your throat, rolling your eyes from his compliment, but thanking him nonetheless. Jenna doesn’t know if she’s feeling a strong pit of jealousy that sizzles beneath the back of her mind. Her eyes train on the boy, hazel eyes, brunette hair. 
“Okay okay, stop that,” you grumble, a small smile plastered on your face as you playfully nudge him to show your annoyance.
“Feisty,” he chides.
“The only thing I did differently today is that I curled my hair. You can barely see it in this ponytail,” one hand is pointing to your hair while the other keeps concentrating on the bunny.
“You’re also wearing a bow, your freckles are more visible, mmm,” he thinks for a moment, “Oh and,” he comes closer, whispering in your ear so only you can hear. Your body almost shivers from it, “You’re staring at a new coming regular and smiling like a weird teenager.”
You stop your latte art, groaning in frustration since you were caught by a coworker that also is a kind friend of yours.
“No I’m not, stop whispering in my ear and let me do my latte art,” you shove him away and continue to work on your bunny.
Jenna swallows the prickly feeling in her throat, feeling herself scowl at some guy who’s name tag seems to say, “Mat ear.” Maybe she should switch out acting with latte art for a day.
The bunny looks complete. 
And perfect, you exhale a breath from pride, slide the latte and call out the person’s order with a warm smile.
Then Jenna feels like a fool standing there because she just realized that she’s been staring at you making another person’s latte. Then you feel stupid for not sending someone over to serve her since you’re assuming that she wanted something.
“Sorry!” You apologize, smacking the top of your head as you lean across the countertop, “Hi Jenna, did you want something?” Jenna looks down at your lips for a moment, your teeth tugged on your bottom lip, then trails back up to the menu.
“No worries, I should’ve sat down, I just wanted to visit I guess. Sure. Um,” She doesn’t know what to get.
“Confused again huh?” You tease, looking at the menu then at the lattes. It makes her almost fan herself to know that you know she wants a latte today.
It takes a moment for you to think, “I don’t even think I put this up on our menu, but the other day when I was closing I tried a hazelnut caramel, you down to try that today?”
“That sounds pleasing, sure I’ll take that.”
“Okay, one hazelnut caramel!”
“Dude, I swear your cafe sells at least every pastry known to mankind. Those brownies and chocolate chip cookies look like it could make society salivatate.”
You laugh, “Thanks silly, I just experiment and make sure everyone in NYC can have a taste of home if they are from somewhere else. Sometimes I take my recipes from a past generation baking book, other times I just try baking from eyeing measurements.”
Jenna smiles at that, touching your hand with hers and pressing it down to the counter, “Well trust me, this is probably why you get a hell load of customers every morning.”
A light-hearted, non-forced, soft giggle comes from you, not moving your hand that is pressed from hers.
“As long as it makes others happy and continues a legacy while doing other things I love, and meeting sweet people that mark my memory like you, I think that I wouldn’t trade it. Did you want anything else?”
“I think that’s it today,” Jenna breathes, moving her hand away from yours. Immediately your hand misses the warmth and just wants to pull her back.
She can’t help but notice the smile plastered on your face, “Okay, hazelnut caramel coffee, on the house.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Nuh uh, not on my watch,” Jenna insists, pulling out a 10 dollar bill and immediately you shoo her away.
“On me! Honest! I own this place anyways and it happens at least twice everyday, don’t worry about it love.”
She hears a small “aww” come from her phone and she freezes, her cheeks heating up in an instant.
“I’m paying you one day,”
“If it’s banterings and consistent times that I see you besides Tuesdays and Thursdays, then okay,” your voice echoes as you begin to prepare her latte.
Jenna smiles at you and as soon as she turns around she picks up her phone and curses into it, “What the hell Jas? How the hell did you manage to call me before I got into the shop and stalk into our conversation??”
Snorts and laughs come from the other line, she immediately plugs her earphones in.
“On the house, hmm??” Mason teases, everyone in unison going “ooh la la..” 
“I’m going to chop your heads off-”
“And of course you place your hands on top of hers!! It’s like watching the corniest romance in front of my eyes!”
It had only been 5 minutes that Jenna had talked with you, and somehow she still got stuck and caught by her friends.
“Shut up,” Jenna says, her voice soft, but grumpily as she scoffs.
Melissa, Mason, and Mindy are shouting from outside, she can hear them screaming through the phone.
“Hey,” you say softly, bringing her latte with two wrapped pastries in hand and slide it to her front, “Try the brownies and cookies you were looking at and tell me what you think?”
Jenna wants to keep her cool and to smile politely, but the three crazy people outside that are listening in are making it hard. Especially with all the kissing noises she can hear, so she takes out her earbuds and tosses them in her hoodie’s pocket.
It takes her a while to realize she didn’t buy the pastries that made her hungry.
“Seriously?” 
The way your cheeks curved upwards and your nose scrunched as you smiled made Jenna smile on the spot there, “Seriously,” you assured. 
“I hate you for this,” she says playfully, sarcastically.
“Who can hate two free pastries? That’s a win for me,” you pull the chair out, sitting down as you take a small break, exhaling.
There was a cute cat design on the hazelnut caramel latte, the steaming, sweet bitterness scent that wafts in the air makes Jenna shiver. She plays with the wrapping of the chocolate chip cookie before mumbling a soft, “Thank you.”
“Mmmhm, no problem.”
There's a quiet pause, Jenna sips her latte, looking up at you and seeing you giggle. It’s sweet, light, bitter, and perfect.
You hand her a napkin, there's a small white foaming mustache from the creamer.
It takes a moment as she takes the napkin before you speak again, “So, filming mm? Is it stressful, you know, having to wake up early and doing stuff like that?”
“Honestly, there are days where it can be too much and I need to wind down a bit. But I love seeing cameras and doing something that I have the fortunate privilege of doing, I know a lot of people don’t have that and it makes me grateful.”
You hum in response, nodding, playing with the nape of your shirt.
“I used to want to act and direct,” you smile.
“Really? Why not now?”
Your shoulders shrug, “I still do small stuff, holding cameras, auditioning for stuff, it’s just a little harder since I’m working here and making sure I can continue doing, you know, this. But I love working here, it heals something in me.”
It makes Jenna feel almost bad, not in an overly guilty way. She just can’t fathom feeling pressured to do something instead of going the way you want.
“You have coworkers, you don’t have to be here everyday, you know?” She tilts her head.
Her eyes meet yours, and again she sees those doe eyes, with nothing but something to make her own self melt.
But I'm in so deep
You know, I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger? 
“I know, sometimes I’m afraid this place will go haywire.”
She giggles at that, then thinks for a moment, “You know, I get on set tomorrow at 11, which is later than most days. Do you wanna, you know, just come and look around? The directors and producers are the sweetest people I know and they don’t mind a plus one. I would like, show you around and you can reach out to some people.”
It’s silent, your face is thoughtful as you’re processing what she said.
“I’ll stick by your side the whole time we’re not filming, introduce you to the cast, as long as you don’t do anything silly, which I highly doubt you might.”
“Okay, I’ll have to check in with Matteo, ask him to bring his sister that comes in on Saturdays and switch it to tomorrow.”
The brunette feels her heart flipping and she nods, burying her face in her hands to try and stop the redness that is invading her cheeks.
You come back soon later, beginning to talk about the plan of the coffee shop tomorrow, but Jenna gets distracted, it’s hard seeing Jasmine blowing her breath on the window, making hearts, then wiping the fog and seeing the way all her friends are making dreamy gestures to mock her. They’re all dancing and she wants to flip them off.
“I’ll be there tomorrow, could you by, um any chance, pick me up? I usually walk here and get my car repaired.”
Oh fuck, Jenna thinks, because she get’s picked up by Jasmine and tomorrow Melissa and Mason will be joining, like they do twice a week. She wants to face palm, she can almost picture the way when you make conversation with her in the car tomorrow, she’ll see in the corner of her eye Mason batting his eyelashes and sticking his tongue out.
“Sure, if you’re okay with some of my crazy friends.”
“Tomorrow it is,” you say, waving and ruffling your hair before waving and walking back to work.
Jenna looks down at her earbuds and she completely forgot she didn’t end the call, she just stashed it away, she’s bearing what is to come, putting her earbuds back in.
“SHE’S ASKING HER OUT ON A DATE” (Mason)
“NO WAY” (Jas)
“SHE’S A FOOL” (Jas)
“SHE’S GOING TO GET EMBARRASSED TOMORROW.” (Jas)
Not to mention the way they are waving their hands outside, she can almost hear the screaming from here.
“There’s no way in hell you asked this sweet pretty girl to come on set tomorrow,” Melissa sing-songs.
“Paws off,” she grumbles.
“She wants her for herself, of course.”
“Shut up!”
338 notes · View notes
bloatedandalone04 · 17 days
Text
Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 1.4
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Series Masterlist | Original Fic
➪in which anakin feels completely isolated from you for the first time in five years, and he doesn’t know if he will ever be given the chance to fix his mistake.
PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.
WC; 4k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡
Anakin gave his guitar to Theo as he sprinted off stage and towards the very dressing room he broke your heart in.
You never came back after walking away at the beginning of the show, and that had him completely on edge. He looked around the backstage area and when he couldn’t find you anywhere, he checked the dressing room. But you weren’t in there either. 
Maybe you went back to the bus? God, he hoped so. He just got you back, he couldn’t handle losing you again so soon, and for a completely different reason this time. 
His nerves were completely shot as he practically sprinted to the bus, the only thought on his mind being to get back to you and further explain things to you. If he needed to drop to his knees and beg for you, he was more than willing to do so, because you were it. His one and only, and you always would be. 
The show tonight was one of the longer ones, so in the two hours he was on stage you could have literally gone anywhere. His heart was in his throat as he pulled open the bus door and looked around, and he could feel it quicken its pace as he realized that you weren’t here either. 
Where the fuck did you go? You told him you’d be here after the show, yet he couldn’t find any trace of you. 
Actually, he couldn’t find any sign of you at all. Your bag was gone, your jacket was picked up from off the couch, and your laptop wasn’t on the table anymore. “No,” he rasped. “Fuck. No.”
His hands were shaking as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called you, but he was sent straight to voicemail. 
You were ignoring him.
“Fuck,” he nearly yelled as he called you again, only to be met with the same result. “Fuck!”
After the third call he was forced to leave you a message, and he felt as pathetic as he sounded. “Baby, please. Please….call me back. I’m so sorry,” he rambled as he pulled at his sweaty hair. “We need to talk about this more, we have to work this out, I….fuck, Y/n, you said you’d be here after the show.”
He was crying now and was choking on his words as he said them, and he hoped you would be able to understand him, but he also hoped you couldn’t. He hated the fact that he was the one crying after he fucked things up, possibly beyond repair, when he really had no right to. 
“Please, just…tell me where you are and that you’re okay and safe, please,” he begged and dropped onto the couch. “I love you.” 
His phone fell to the floor after that and his hands came up to cover his face. 
He had no idea what to do. He was shaking and his eyes were sore as he couldn’t seem to stop the tears from leaving them.
What the fuck is he going to do? How is he going to fix this? 
He can’t lose you. He can’t, he wouldn’t be able to function without you. The thought of not having you around him after this was enough to send him into a panic attack, and he knew he needed to get a hold of himself, but he didn’t know how. 
You weren’t here, weren’t at the venue, and your stuff was gone. Where did you go? You wouldn’t have left without telling him, right? You wouldn’t have gone back to London and not tell him, right? 
He didn’t know anymore. 
His phone went off from its place on the floor, and he scrambled off the couch to grab it, and when he saw that it was you who texted him, he nearly cried of joy. But your message wasn’t what he wanted to read, and it left him feeling even worse.
Princess: I’m safe. I just need some time to think. Please, at least give me that. 
-
You slept on a chair in the airport last night, your duffle bag being your pillow and your jacket being your blanket. 
Your eyes were bloodshot and sore beyond words from all the crying you’ve done since Anakin told you that he cheated on you. Did that count as him cheating on you? Not exactly, but his lips touched someone else’s, so what did that make it? Accidentally cheating? You didn’t know and you were too upset to care about what to call it. 
After he went on stage and began the show, you couldn’t stand it anymore and left. You went back to the bus and was originally going to stay there and sleep on the couch, but the more you got into your head, the more you wanted to get the fuck out of there completely. 
Running away from your problems never helped anybody, but you were too stubborn to think rationally at this point. 
So you bought a ticket for the earliest flight back to London and grabbed your things before fleeing from the bus and sending him a text after listening to his voicemail. 
You felt bad about leaving like that, but you were so upset and hurt. Your heart felt like it had been physically ripped from your body and been left back with Anakin in Paris; the place you wanted to visit for so long now with the love of your life. And the two days you were there with him were amazing, and you were prepared for so much more, but every hope and dream you had for that city had been crushed and destroyed. You weren’t sure you ever wanted to go back, Eiffel Tower be damned. 
There were other towers you could see, right?
The whole flight back to London you wrote down the last few chapters for your short story in your notebook, needing the distraction to help keep you sane enough to be able to get back to your room in one piece. 
You looked like a mess once you got back onto campus, and you avoided everyone like the plague as you made a beeline towards your dorm and had a forty five minute shower. It helped a little bit, but you were still left feeling empty as you sat down on your bed with wet hair and opened up your laptop to type out what you wrote down on the plane. 
After you added some final touches, you printed it out and got changed into a pair of jeans and a grey shirt, leaving your hair still damp as you made your way to Kenneth’s classroom. 
It was empty when you entered it, and he looked up at you in surprise when you closed the door behind you and walked over to him. “Miss Y/l/n,” he greeted and closed the book he was reading. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. I thought you’d still be with that boyfriend of yours.”
The mention of Anakin had a sharp pain shoot straight through your heart, and you flinched slightly as you cleared your throat. “Yeah, something happened with that,” you whisper and he gives you a look of concern as he notices the way your eyes glaze over with tears. “I’m okay. Promise.”
He gives you a smile that nearly had you sobbing right then and there, because how the fuck did things get to this? How did you end up back in London, crying in front of your instructor with wet hair that dampened your shirt as the seconds went on? 
“Alright,” he said quietly and braced his elbows on his desk. “What’s going on?”
His voice was so comforting and caring, you allowed your walls to come down a bit as you held up the stack of papers in your hand and wiped your eyes with your other. “I wrote my short story,” you announce. “I didn’t get around to editing it, so it’s probably full of errors, but I just wanted to give it to you because..”
You stopped your sentence short, but Kenneth gave you a look that told you he knew exactly what you were saying. “Because you’re not coming back to class,” he finished for you. “Are you?”
He stated it instead of asking it, and you bite down on your bottom lip as you nodded. Glancing down at the papers in your hands, he gestures for you to give them to him, and you do so with a sad smile. “You don’t have to read it,” your voice broke as you felt yourself beginning to cry again. “I just wanted to show that I really did love every second of these classes. I know I can do so much more, but it’s just not a good time for me right now.”
Kenneth flipped through the pages and looked up at you. “I’ll read it,” he promised, his gaze the softest you had ever seen it, and you realized just how much you would miss being able to talk to him like this and not feel embarrassed about it. “You’re an amazing writer, Y/n. It was a privilege to have you in my class, and I hate to see you go so soon, but I also want you to start putting yourself first. You’re always worried about everyone else around you, don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Whatever happened before this, don’t let it take over. Use it, if it helps.”
You nod and wipe at your eyes with both hands now, sniffling quietly as you look at the man you respect deeply. 
“You’re going to go on and do great things. You’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you,” he lightened the mood by laughing and it made you laugh, too. “Just don’t forget to put yourself first. I remember when my teacher told me that, and it stuck with me for most of my life. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it until he said it.”
And you didn’t either. 
It was true, you put everyone above yourself and it often made you forget to take care of yourself. But not anymore. 
You were going back home, and you were dropping out of the program, but you weren’t quitting. You just needed to figure some things out and keep yourself grounded until you decided what was going to happen next. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. “For everything.”
Kenneth nodded and set your story down onto his desk. “Good luck, Y/n,” he said and it was the second time he used your first name since you walked in here, and it somehow made everything seem so much more real. You weren’t his student anymore. “I’ll reach out to you once I’ve finished reading this.”
“Okay,” you nod and turn around, giving the classroom one last look before heading towards the administrative office to officially drop out of the school. 
You cried more as you packed up your room, and then Bailey came in and let you cry onto her shoulder as she held you and told you to keep in touch. After that you met Evan’s eyes from across campus, and the three bags you were carrying told him all he needed to know. 
He brought you into his arms, too, and these were the people you were going to miss most about this chapter in your life. “Call me whenever you need to, okay? Or whenever you want to,” he begged and you nod against his chest. “Fuck, this sucks. I’m going to miss you.”
You laugh sadly, “I’m going to miss you, too,” then you step away and get a ride back to the airport, your heart feeling the heaviest its felt in all the twenty two years you’ve been alive. 
-
Anakin didn’t sleep at all, but that was no surprise. 
He got a good two nights of sleep with you while you were here, but now that you were gone, his sleep schedule was already back to being fucked. 
His whole body felt weak as he paced around backstage, holding his phone up to his ear as he called you for the first time today. He told himself that he’d give you some time, but fuck that. He missed you and needed to see where things were with you at the moment. 
“Hi,” you answered, making Anakin instantly stop pacing. 
“Hi,” he said back quickly. “How are you? Where are you?” He had no idea where you were since you only told him that you were safe, and he wasn’t one of those boyfriends that needed their girlfriends location on all the time. 
“In the car,” you answered and he felt his heart drop. “On the way to the airport.”
“The…airport?” He stuttered, his eyes burning as he let your words sink in. “You’re going back to London?”
“No,” you say quietly, and he could hear in your voice the way you were holding back tears. “I’m already in London. I’m going back home, Anakin.”
Anakin felt his whole body tense up, and it felt almost painful to move. So he stayed still as he tried to process your words. “You’re in London? How? When?”
“Last night. I bought a ticket and left. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I just don’t know what to do anymore, Anakin,” you cried and the remaining pieces of his heart shattered to bits. “I dropped out of the writing program and now I’m on my way back home. I need to feel normal right now or I might just go crazy.”
“Baby,” he shakily said as he met Vinny’s eyes from across the room. His friend gave him a concerned look, but Anakin just turned around and headed for the dressing room. “Baby, please.”
“Please, what? I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t know what to say,” you sobbed and he let the door close loudly behind him once he reached the dressing room. 
“Say that we’re going to be okay,” he begged, beginning to pace around the small room as he tugged at his hair. “Say that you and I will be fine, that we’ll talk this through and that we’re going to be okay.”
You were quiet for a few seconds, leaving him to listen to your uneven breathing. “You’re in Paris, Anakin,” he hated the way you hadn’t called him Ani even once since the start of this call. “I’ll be in LA tomorrow. Maybe this time away from each other will be good.”
“We’ve been away from each other,” he said as his heart twisted in agony. “I don’t want more time apart.”
“You’re on tour, Anakin-”
“I’ll come home,” he cut you off. “I’ll talk to Helena, we’ll stop the tour for a few weeks or something. Please.”
You sniff quietly. “The tour is too important,”
“You’re more important. We’re more important,” he thought maybe he was getting through to you, but then you destroyed that small ounce of hope with a single sentence. 
“I can’t do this,” you whispered. “I need time. Have fun on the rest of the tour, Anakin. I really mean that.”
Then you hung up before he could say another word, leaving him to call you back three times before you turned your phone off. 
“Fuck!” Anakin yells out and throws his phone onto the couch before sitting down next to it, his hands coming up to cover his face as he tries to hold back his tears. 
This was all his fault. He fucked things up between you beyond repair, and he was the one to blame. 
You flew back to London, for fucks sake, and the whole time he thought you were still here. And now you’re going back to LA, back to the apartment you and he shared, and possibly packing up there as well. 
What was he supposed to do? He needed to be on stage in less than twenty minutes, and he was on the verge of a panic attack. 
Anakin looked around the room wildly, as if anything he would help him even a little bit. His eyes landed on the various alcohol bottles placed on a table in the corner, and he knew he shouldn’t. The last time he drank was at the club with Liz, then she kissed him and he threw up twice and swore he’d never drink again.
But it was different this time. 
He needed to feel nothing right now, to get him through the show, then he’d figure out how to fix things. 
Without giving it a second thought, Anakin grabbed the first bottle he could reach and spent the next ten minutes drinking it. He set the now empty bottle down and left his phone on the couch, swinging the door open and stumbling his way backstage. 
The first person he saw was Liz. Of course it was Liz. 
Anakin’s eyes glazed over and he made it to her in less than four strides. She turned to face him with that fucking smirk of hers, and he narrowed his eyes on the bruise that had formed on the bridge of her nose, and for a split second he was proud that his girlfriend did that to her, then he remembered that you might not be his girlfriend anymore. “There you are,” she cooed. “We were starting to get worried.”
“Shut up,” he muttered, getting into her personal space. This was another situation where he could use his size to his advantage, even if he hated to do it, but he didn’t care right now. “This is all your fault. Y/n left because of what you did, because of what we did. Are you happy? Are you fucking proud of yourself?”
Vinny, who was standing nearby quickly made his way over, as did Helena, who had been talking with Theo a few feet away. “Anakin,” Vinny murmured, pulling on his arm. “Hey, don’t do this, man. She’s not worth it.”
Helena guided Liz away and towards the side of the stage, and Anakin could see how angry his manager was as she talked to the photographer. 
Anakin turned to Vinny, his eyes burning and his head spinning. “She left,” he rasped. “She left, Vin. Y/n left to go back home.”
Vinny stepped back in surprise but kept his hand on Anakin’s arm. “Back home? Like, back to London?”
“No, back to LA. She already went back to London and dropped out of the program and now she’s going back home,” he nearly cried. “She’s going to leave me, Vinny. I lost her.”
The drummer looked alarmed, and he pulled Anakin into his arms within seconds. “It’s okay,” he tried to comfort him, but they both knew it would never work. “It’s okay.”
Anakin felt pathetic. This is the second time Vinny had to comfort him in less than two weeks, and while he knew Vinny would never mind doing so, Anakin still felt terrible. It shouldn’t be this way. He should be better than this. 
“We’ll talk after the show,” Vinny promised, pulling away and reaching up to smooth out Anakin’s hair. “You and I will figure everything out, okay? It’s going to be okay.”
Anakin felt like a shell of himself as he nodded and allowed Vinny to lead him out onto stage, his mind a mess of thoughts and doubts and worries, and all of them were about you. 
The lights were blinding and Anakin’s vision blurred from the flashes. His head was pounding and his throat was dry as he tried to get out the last song of the night as quickly as he could, but he felt sick. The bourbon he had downed earlier didn’t help, either. 
He felt bile rise up his throat but he held it back and tore his eyes away from the crowd so he could look over at Theo. The bass player gave him a concerned look as he began to sing the song as well, no doubt sensing something was wrong and deciding to help the poor guy out.
Anakin was thankful for that as he didn’t have to raise his voice anymore since Theo is singing alongside him now, so his throat was given somewhat of a break. While his friend didn’t have a strong enough voice to be the lead singer, Theo still had a pretty good singing voice, and Anakin knew he should probably start having him sing in more songs in the future.
He felt his heartbeat quicken as even more sweat began to settle on his skin. The flannel he had adorned at the start of the show had long since been tossed aside and had left him in just his graphic tee, but he was still so fucking hot, and the lights weren’t helping at all. 
He made the mistake of looking over to his right, where he saw Liz and Helena standing backstage. While his manager had a frown on her lips, Liz had a lustful look in her eyes, and somehow that made Anakin feel even more sick. 
His fingers fumbled on the strings as he messed up the tempo of the song, which is something he had never done while he was out on stage before. Embarrassment floods through him and he quickly falls back into the right rhythm with Vinny and Theo backing him up as best as they could. 
All these cameras on him were not helping, even though he was used to being filmed at this point. He felt like was three seconds away from having a full on panic attack, and he would probably die of humiliation if he woke up tomorrow morning to see thousands of videos online of him breaking down on stage. 
The headline ‘Anakin Skywalker Has Epic Meltdown During Last Song Of Show’ was one he refused to read the following day. Fuck, he hated those stupid tabloids. They were written by money hungry, self-obsessed assholes who wouldn’t know what privacy is if it slapped them in the face. 
You hated them, too, and your distaste for them was more than valid. 
He missed you. God, did he ever. 
Anakin wasn’t used to missing you. He never needed to. Ever since his third year of high school he’s had you by his side. You were never more than a few feet away from him back then, and even now you were always usually backstage and quietly cheering him on. You should be where Liz is currently standing now. 
Or maybe he should be with you. 
Since the second you became his girlfriend you were always his top priority.
He hated that he had somehow managed to forget that fact the minute a pretty girl started paying more attention to him than you were. Could you be blamed? You were thousands of miles away and chasing your own dream while he was living out his. You couldn’t give him every second of your time like he was used to receiving, and he really fucking hated how he had actually managed to turn into one of those pricks who forgets about how good he has it as soon as things don’t end up going his way. 
Anakin wanted to stop singing the song and call out to you, but you weren’t in the crowd. You weren’t backstage. You weren’t here. You weren’t with him. You wouldn’t answer him, because you’re so fucking far away while he is here acting like everything is just fine. All he wanted to do was to run off stage, find you, and wrap you up in his arms, but he wasn’t sure if he had that right anymore.
He’s insecure and has never been away from you for this long. It was like he didn’t know how to properly function without you by his side. 
All the excuses in the world would never make up for just how poorly he’s treated you and for how little effort he’s been putting into your relationship. 
He didn’t blame you for wanting to end it.
But he needed you. He had just gotten you back, just gotten that sense of normalcy back, but you were gone again. 
Possibly for good this time, and he only had himself to blame.
-
One more part after this x
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sinofwriting · 2 months
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Judo Tracks - Ollie Bearman
Words: 4,535 Summary: What happens when an Formula 2 (cough and now technically kind of an F1) driver and an Olympic gold medalist Judoka start dating? Note(s): Thank you so much to V on Kofi for commissioning this! I had so much fun writing it (and I got to do so much research and take so many notes for). Reader does Judo. Uta Abe is the inspiration for reader and I’ve used her amazing achievements as readers as well. Also, mentions of blood, injuries, pain. I also completely changed the 2024 F1 season because of Ollie being called up for Saudi Arabia (I literally could not help myself). Fun fact: Ollie Bearman with just his rookie F2 season in 2023 has just over triple the amount of points needed for a super license (aka the license for F1).
Taglist | Masterlist | Emergency Dental Fund
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She takes a deep breath, eyes closed as she lets the feeling of the sun hit her skin, pouring into her as she stretches out on the grass. Her thighs and calves are burning, her big toe has split open again, Jain will have her head for it. Her arms are loose by her side, wrist aching as she rotates them. Letting out the breath, her eyes open.
The brick in front of her is rugged, chipped, and would be considered peeling if it was painted instead. It’s like cinder. The cinder at the first gym she went to, not old but worn down and chipped at from overuse and abuse. She still has a piece of the first cinder block she broke skin on, blood speckling a small corner of it. Another piece from the first one she broke. Her hand throbs at the memory and she flexes it.
Her eyes flicker to her hands. Calluses and scars decorate them. Dents and bumps, spots dark and light. Clenching them, she watches as the skin stretches over bone, more scars seeming to pop out, becoming angrier. It’s a miracle, she supposes that the skin of her hands is still soft.
“You didn’t take your phone.” She doesn’t flinch at the sudden sound of a voice or the body that plops down next to her in the grass. “I needed to breathe.” They huff out a laugh. “Kid. No one is going to tell you not to breathe. We’d actually prefer it.” They nudge her shoulder lightly, teasing, but she doesn’t return it, can’t. Her eyes are still glued to her hands, to the skin she can see, the bones underneath them. They sigh and it feels like a punch to the gut. “What’s going on?” “I fucked up.” Tears are stinging her eyes and it makes her dig her nails into palms, body starting to shake. “I had one chance and I fucking blew it. This is my thing.” She shakes her head. “This is the one thing I have, the one thing I’m good at and I blew my chance.” “You didn’t blow your chance. Ridgle did a dirty move, you got injured. It happens. You’ll recover, you are recovering. You won’t make it this year, but next year? You’re gonna win, kid.” She looks at Jain, tears in her eyes that she still won’t let fall, a quiver to her lip, and her voice so small and high at just fourteen. “Really?” “Really, kid.” Jain smiles, patting her on the shoulder. It makes her nod and she forces herself to take a few breaths, forces the tears away, and then she looks away sheepishly at her feet, at her left foot. “I might’ve split open my big toe again.” Jain lets out a groan, “Dammit kid. Didn’t I just fix that up for you?”
She doesn’t want to be here. She knows that, Jain knows that, her parents know it, Amy knows it and she’s sure that the poor driver who was forced to drive her here knows it as well.
Hunkering down in a corner, she drains the glass of whiskey she managed to snag from the bar. The taste makes her nose wrinkle, and the sound of a chuckle makes her tense.
“Strong?” She turns her head, eyebrows furrowed for all of a second before they loosen from her eyes widening. The guy was cute. A little boyish, but she was constantly surrounded by guys that weren’t. It was a lot of weird large muscles, clear scars and repeatedly broken noses, baby fat gone as soon as their balls dropped. Not that she notices any baby fat as she looks closer at his face. “No.” She finally says. “Really weak, watered down, probably.” He huffs out of a laugh. “Wouldn’t think that they’d served watered down drinks, but who knows how they want to save their money.” “If they wanted to save their money, they wouldn’t throw this event.” She scowls. He nods, smile a touch sympathetic now. “Not a fan.” “Not in my job description.” She corrects. “It is a bit ridiculous, isn’t it?” She nods fast. “Yes! So ridiculous.”
He smiles at her, extending a hand. “My names Ollie.” “Y/N.” She tells him, shaking his hand. He repeats her name to himself after letting go of her hand. “Want to ditch with me?” She looks at the rest of the large room, eyes lingering on the bar, but she wouldn’t need that if she left. “Absolutely.”
“So,” she asks two hours after they’ve left, a shared meal between them. “What sport?” He looks at her amused. “Guess.” Her eyes narrow at him, and she tugs the fries away from him a bit. Cheekiness didn’t get you fries as far as she was concerned. Her fingers lightly tap against the table as she lets her eyes drink his form in.
He was lithe, no heavy, thick, full muscles. But he was muscled, a little bit like a swimmer or a runner, all hidden strength. His build alone ruled out MMA, boxing, and sports like it. Also, the perfect unbroken nose was a dead give away. Maybe football, but he was a little awkward in certain movements that didn’t line up with the few footy players she had been around. He was tall too, which made things even more interesting.
She wondered if somehow he made it into basketball or baseball, primarily American sports, and they had their international players, but she had never heard of a British one.
Her eyes linger on his neck, the muscle was weirdly developed. “You aren’t one of those guys who do the slap competitions, are you?” He laughs, shaking his head. “No.” She hums, “I’ve got no idea. Is it something weird? Something I’ve never heard of?” “Padel. Junior champion.” He tells her with a smile. Her eyes immediately dropped to his hands. “Bullshit.” He laughs again. “Not padel. I’m an F2 driver.” “Ah.” She nods, leaning back in her seat. “That explains the neck.”
“Ollie!” She looks behind her at the sound of Jain’s voice. Just barely catching a glimpse of Ollie before she has to straighten back out, she only had a few more minutes of her run to do then her cooldown, she could wait. “Hi, Jain. How are you doing?” “I’m doing good.” They smile at the kid. “She’s keeping me busy of course. How are you, though? Nervous for your next race?” “A little bit. I feel like I haven’t done enough y’know? Hopefully Baku will be better for me.” Jain shakes his head. “You're doing great for a rookie Ollie. I know this one,” they tilt their head towards her. “Is excited to be going with you. Hasn’t shut up about it.” They tease. “I can hear you, Jain.” She says, taking a drink of water as she slows the treadmill down a bit. “And I will kick your ass again.” Ollie stifles a laugh as he watches Jain roll their eyes at the threat, though he doesn’t miss the way her trainer pats at their ribs.
He watches her finish out her workout, trying not to let his eyes linger too much on her, but knows he doesn’t succeed by the way Jain snorts and how she seems to purposely draw out a few stretches.
Reaching into a fridge, Jain tosses a drink at her. “Drink that, shower, and get out of the gym. I will see you both when you're back from Baku and do not go to the gym more than Ollie does. This is your rest period. You go when he goes and don’t push, even with a trainer.” “Got it.” She nods, smiling. “Thank you, Jain.” They smile at her. “Of course, kid. Now have fun both of you and I’ll make sure to watch the races Ollie.” “Thanks, Jain.”
The two watch as the trainer goes to the back part of the gym where an office is. When the door shuts she finally looks at Ollie. “Hi.” He grins at her, eyes getting all crinkly. “Hi.” She wants to dart forward to hug him, kiss him, but she’s all too aware of the sweat covering every inch of her body. Twisting the cap off the drink, she quickly chugs it, not really wanting to taste what’s arguably the worst flavor of all the drinks that Jain makes her drink. Tossing the container in the bin, she gives him a sorry smile. “Let me shower and then we can,” she gestures between their bodies. “Darling,” blood instantly rushes to her cheeks. “I don’t need to wait for you to shower.” And before she can protest, his hands are framing her face and his lips are against hers.
Her eyes instantly flutter close at the contact, sighing into the kiss as her own hands come up to rest just below his wrists. Keeping his hands there despite what she had just said. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that, just soft presses of their lips, but she pulls away when he gives a small lick to her bottom lip.
“Trust me, Ollie, you don’t want that until after I brush my teeth.” The taste of the drink still lingered a bit on her tongue despite how quickly she had downed it. His lips form a pout, but he nods. “Alright. Be quick though? I’ve missed you.” She presses another kiss to his lips. “I’ll be quick.”
Ollie crosses the finish line and the whole garage goes nuts, just like it did yesterday, just like it somewhat did when Ollie managed to get pole with bent steering the day before that one.
There are tears in her eyes as she jumps around and screams with everyone at Prema. All of them start heading over to parc fermé and she goes to stay back, but René is pushing her along, passing her to the lead mechanic on Ollie’s car who puts himself between her and the rest of the people behind him as she’s nearly squished against the bars. It’s a sweet gesture, one that would make her laugh if she wasn’t overwhelmed with pride and happiness for Ollie.
She watches as he parks the car, watches as he gets out, watches as he runs over to throw himself into the arms of the mechanics just beside her. Watches as he tries to touch everyone at Prema, as he tries to talk to them but his helmet muffles his voice. Watches when he’s set back down and he notices her. Watches as he immediately starts wrestling with his helmet, yanking it, the neck part she can never remember the name for, and his baklava before he’s got his free hand on her neck and is drawing her in for a kiss.
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She smiles at Ollie as she walks into the locker room. There’s a bit of worry in his eyes and she knows it's from how she’s got an arm around her ribs, but he also looks proud. “What’d you think?” “It was amazing. I mean, I had never watched any of this before meeting you, but it was so cool. And that kick you did at the end, it looked so easy!” She huffs out a laugh at his excitement, wincing a little at the pulling it does, but she ignores the pain. Jain wasn’t forcing her to sit down and get looked at yet, which meant she had just enough time to do this: extending her free arm, her fingers clutch at Ollie’s shirt, pulling him forward and down a bit to press their lips together.
“Congrats on winning.” He murmurs against her lips after a moment, the both of them just taking the moment. Blood rushes to her cheeks at the soft murmur. “Thank you for coming.” “Anytime I can, I’ll be here.” He tells her, echoing her words from Baku.
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Her hands are clasped together, tucked under her chin as she watches the screens, her brows occasionally pressing together as she watches the cars go around. Feeling a small ache in her right foot, she shifts her weight only to gasp out in pain.
“Fuck.” She breathes. The man standing next to her tears his eyes away from the screen, and an arm is quickly wrapped around her waist. “Let’s get you sat down somewhere.” She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. I just put too much weight on it.” “Y/N,” he warns. “You need to stay off it. At least let someone get you a chair.” “David, I’ll be okay. Continue watching and I’ll find somewhere to sit.” He gives her a look, hearing the lie, but his eyes are quickly drawn to the car pulling into the garage.
She quickly moves away, wincing with every step and she just knows that when Ollie gets out of the car and is done with his press he’s going to be pissed. Jain was going to be pissed as well when Ollie inevitably tells them.
“Stop.” She halts at the sound of Andrea’s voice. Turning around, she gives Charles’ trainer a smile. “Hi Andrea. Will you still be helping Ollie with his cooldown after quali?” He gives her an unamused look. “I know that your knee is hurting. Now, come.” She wants to protest, but he gives her a look and she follows after him.
Entering Charles’ driver room, she easily hops onto the massage bed, folding her skirt up so the shorts she’s wearing underneath are exposed along with her knees.
He hisses as he looks at her left. “You’ve been putting too much weight on it.” “It’s fine, Andrea. I can’t just rest.” “You can when the muscle needs to heal. And it will heal.” Her jaw clenches and her eyes lock onto the clock in the room. “It will.” She gives him that, just like she gave the doctors, Ollie, and Jain. “But will it go back to normal? Not be weakened?” She shrugs. “Who knows? I just know that I got distracted during a match and nearly blew out my knee. So much for another Olympic medal. My career is over.” He scoffs, opening a jar of ointment. “Your career is not over, far from it. There are still months before the Olympics as well. You are young, just nineteen. You heal quicker, you just need to give your body time to rest, to heal. You can’t stand for so long or workout and train as you normally would. It needs time to recover.” She winces as he starts applying the cream. “I can’t though. It’s the Olympics. All I’m supposed to be doing is training and now I can’t. That lack of training could cost me.” “And training now will cost you a knee. It nearly blew out, but didn’t. You continue like this, it will and then your career will be over.”
“You have to take it easy.” He stresses after a few minutes of just silence in the room, finally done with the ointment and gentle massage to it. “I know Jain has told you that. Your doctors, Ollie. And I know that maybe my opinion doesn’t matter much.” She looks at him for the first time since entering the room with a scoff, frowning as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. “Of course it matters.” “Then listen.” He takes her hands in his, grateful that he wiped them with a towel already. “You will recover from this, heal from this, and you will be stronger because of it.” She shakes her head, tears falling and the words that have been building up inside of her since her injury happened come spilling out. “I’m scared, Andrea. This is nothing like my last injury. And I thought my career was over then. This is so much worse and Ollie,” she sobs. “Ollie has so much to worry about, the car wasn’t good last weekend and now he’s in an F1 car, in a Ferrari, I can’t add more to him. I don’t know what to do without Judo. Without the competitions, the training. I’ve been doing this since I was two. I don’t know anything else.” “And you don’t have to worry about knowing anything else. Not for nearly ten years. But think about it like this, while you rest, you think about your future. You think about your five year, ten year plans. You try some new things. You talk to Ollie and Jain. Because I know that you haven’t talked to them either.” She nods, sniffling as she wipes away her tears. “Okay.” She whispers. “Good.” He nods, before wrapping her up in a hug.
“Now, I’m going to get you a chair and you are going to sit in it and watch the rest of quali in it, yes?” “Yes.”
“Congrats on your first F1 points, baby.” She murmurs to Ollie hours after the race, finally back at their hotel room after the celebrations that had occurred and the team debriefs. He beams at her. “I still can’t believe it. I mean, I just didn’t want to damage the car, just wanted to bring it home.” She laughs, “well, you more than brought it home.”
Lopping her arms around his neck, she kisses him. “I’m so happy for you.” “I’m really happy too. And I’m happy you could be here, I know that you would have missed it due to training.” She shakes her head, “even if it wasn’t for my knee, I would’ve canceled my training sessions for this, hopped on the first flight. I couldn’t miss this. I didn’t miss any of your FP1 sessions last season. I wouldn’t miss this.” He smiles at her, “I’m just happy that I already cleared it with Prema for Spa, that I can leave immediately after quali. I have to see you win your second Olympic medal.” Her smile flatters a bit at the thought of the Olympics. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I wasn’t going to tonight, but do you mind?” He shakes his head and he sits down on the bed, taking her with him. “Of course not. What’s going on?”
Her lips thin and the words that she had managed to say to Andrea feel trapped in her throat. But she forces them out. “I haven’t been okay since my knee got fucked up. And I know you noticed.” It was impossible to not notice the way he’d worriedly look at her. “Just like you noticed that none of the swelling has gone down.” “It really hasn’t.” His hand gently rests on her thigh, squeezing the muscle. “Is something wrong? I mean more wrong?” She shakes her head. “I uh, I got in my head, that I fucked it all up.” She lets out a laugh and she hates that tears are coming to her eyes. Hadn’t she cried enough yesterday about this? “I was pretty sure that I ruined my career and uh,” she struggles with the next part. “I didn’t take it easy like I was supposed to. I’ve still been doing some training and I haven’t been resting like I should. And I didn’t talk to you or Jain about it, like I should’ve. I just spiraled, really quickly.” “Darling, your career isn’t over.” “I know.” She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. Because she did know after talking with Andrea and talking to her doctors while Ollie did his debriefs and race prep.
“I know that now.” She corrects, wiping at her face. “Andrea talked to me, talked me out of my head.” “Good, because you’ve still got championships and medals to earn. You aren’t done.” “Yeah. I talked with my doctors too, I’m gonna talk to Jain tomorrow and I’m going to listen to them when they tell me what to do. Because I’m not ready for it to be over. But that does mean I’m looking at about four weeks of rest and recovery.” He lets out a whistle, thumb rubbing circles on her fabric cladded thigh. “That’s gonna drive you nuts.” She laughs, “it really will. And I was wondering if I could come with you to races.” His eyes widened, thumb stopping its motions. “What?” “Andrea told me that I should think about my five and ten year plans with this time I’ll have resting. And I already know that you're in those plans. And I know that I can’t do Judo for another ten years, not at this level at least. And if I get another knee injury to my left one, maybe I’ll get five years. And I know you want to be in F1 in ten years, still be in F1.” “I do.” The words are quiet, nearly drowned out by the sound of his heart pounding inside his chest. “I want to be part of this with you, Ollie. Every part. The bad races, the good ones, the ones that make you happy, sad, angry. I want them all and this could be the start of that.”
There’s a lump in his throat that he struggles to swallow around, because this was like one of his dreams. Her wanting that with him, seeing that with him. Wanting F1 for him.
“I want that too.” He tells her. “I want you with me. But not at the cost of your career, never at the cost of it. I know we already talked about it when we got together about having to miss events and maybe championships because of careers, and that still stands. Even after you're done with this level of Judo. That will never change, even if you change careers.” His words are rushed as he makes sure she knows that he doesn’t expect her to completely just become a WAG when she’s finished. She stares at him, his expression earnest, and she doesn’t know what to say, how to say all of that back, so instead she says, “I love you.” His whole face brightens, “I love you too.”
“This fucking sucks.” She lets out a laugh, “Ollie, it’s okay.” “You are at the Olympics! The Olympics! And I can’t be there because of debriefing after quali. Fucking Ferrari.” He curses and she can just see him kicking at the ground. “There’s always the next Olympics in 2028. And you can’t miss debrief. Not for Spa.” A shiver runs up her spine at the thought of that track. “I know. It’s just I was supposed to be there, Prema approved it. Was even willing to push it completely to the next day, so I could be there for you. And now I can’t.” Her heart constricts a little, because she had been thrilled when Prema originally gave the go ahead for Ollie to potentially leave debrief early so he could see her at the Olympics. But F1 was a different beast and Ferrari was stricter. They wanted to see her win her second gold medal, wanted to support her, but they couldn’t let their surprise rookie driver miss the debrief to do it. “Fred already said that you guys would pause the debrief to watch it live. Really, you're just lucky that my group is going last, otherwise you’d be paying fines for missing press.” “Be worth it.” He mutters.
It’s silent between them, only the sound of slightly staticky breathing being heard.
“Why did Carlos have to get an infection?” She snorts, hand going up to cover her mouth, nearly dropping her phone from surprise. “What?” “Well, if Carlos had never gotten that stupid infection, he would have been back in the car by Australia or Japan and I’d be able to see you in person.” “Alternatively, you could have not performed so well and then when Canada came around they would have given him the seat, instead of keeping you in it.” He fake gasps. “Are you saying I should have performed badly?” She nods even though he can’t see it. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. But, no you just had to show and prove that you were worthy of the Ferrari seat. What is it now that you have? Four podiums, one sprint win, two sprint podiums, oh and of course your 166 points.” It’s quiet for a moment. “I love you so much.” She giggles. “I keep track.” “So, do I.” he retorts. “you‘ve got,” he starts, but she cuts him off. “No. We are not doing that. We both need to sleep. I’ve got the Olympics and you have quali.” He sighs, “yeah. I’ll be watching when I can. And I’m sorry I won’t see you win.” Blood rushes to her face at his confidence in her. “It’s fine, baby. And I’ll try to watch what I can of FP3 and qualifying. You’re gonna do amazing. I’ll see you Sunday, yeah?” “Of course. I love you.” “I love you too.”
“Y/N Y/L/N wins her second Olympic gold medal!” She stands proudly with it around her neck, her country flag wrapped around her as she cries tears of joy, a beaming smile on her face. She can see Jain clapping their hands together so hard it must hurt, and that just makes her smile more.
Her eyes look around the whole venue filled with people, she looks at her fellow gold medalists, the silver and bronze. It was unbelievable just like the first time.
She listens closely as the ceremony comes to a close, and as soon as she can, she darts over to Jain, wrapping them in a hug as she cries in their chest. “We did it!” She cheers. “You did it, kid! Two gold medals!” Jain laughs, squeezing her tight before letting her go and spinning her around. She makes a confused noise, nearly falling over, but she’s caught. Caught by an all too familiar pair of arms.
“Ollie!” She gasps. He beams at her. “You won! I got to see you win!” “But, I mean, I thought,” He laughs, “I lied. Ferrari agreed as long as I did my debrief on the flight here, I just have to pay a fine for missing press.” “Oh my god.” She stares at him for a few more seconds before kissing him, his arms wrapping around her waist in the process and lifting her off her feet.
“I’m so proud of you, Y/N. You were amazing, just amazing.” He whispers, when they break apart for air. She smiles at him, tracing a line down his cheek. “I’m just happy you're here.”
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@crashingwavesofeuphoria @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @hiireadstuff @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803
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abditorial · 4 months
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PULLING UP TO THE PARTIES!
TRYING TO GET A LITTLE BIT TIPSY…
JJK characters when the reader comes home tipsy ♥︎
FT. Geto, Gojo, and Nanami
X GN!READER
WARNINGS: Alcohol, reader is drunk, pet names (like sweetheart, love, honey, etc.), Nanami’s is suggestive but no real NSFW, SOO much fluff!
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SUGURU GETO ✧
The entire time your friends were dragging your ass home, you couldn’t help but think “I’m so screwed”. Suguru was just fine with letting you have a night out with your friends; He trusted them to take good care of you, and knew you weren’t just some child that had to be watched every minute. So when you told him about the plans he was very supportive and excited that you got to have a fun night with friends. However, his only concern was that you shouldn’t drink too much. And now here you are, drink… Because you drank too much. You broke the one rule he had set for you and now you were certain he would never let you go out again. In fact, you were bawling your eyes out as one of your friends helped you up the front steps and knocked on the door, muttering out some nonsense.
When Suguru answered? The tears grew stronger. Your friend was trying not to laugh as they quickly gave an apology, but before they could explain you were quick to jump in. “SUGU!” You wailed, leaping forward to wrap your arms around him and shove your tear-stained face into his pajama shirt. “I’m sorryyy….” The words were muffled, but coherent. Your boyfriend gave an awkward laugh and told your friends he could take care of it and they left, stifling their sober chuckles. Meanwhile, he dragged you into the house and sat you down on the sofa, standing before you while you sniffled and looked up at him with such sad, sad eyes. “You told me not to drink too much, and then I DID.” You burst out into tears again, hands trying to wipe them away but failing because it came out like a tsunami. “Please don’t leave me!”
“That’s what this is about?” He rolled his eyes playfully when you weren’t looking and kneeled down beside you, gently wiping your tears away. Again, you sniffled and looked at him with confusion. Plus those sad, sad eyes again. “I’m not upset, okay? I just said that so you wouldn’t drink until you were passed out on a club floor, because that’s a little bit scary I’m sure.” He stood up and suddenly walked away, though you could tell he was just in the next room over, your guys’ bedroom, because his voice could still be heard. “I’m glad you had fun with your friends, and I’m sorry for making you worry.” He came back out with a big blanket, wrapping it around your shoulders and over your head like a swaddle almost.
“Really?” You sniffled again, clutching the blanket to your chest.
“Really.” And now you were sobbing because you couldn’t believe how understanding your boyfriend was. Even if he was chuckling at how silly you were.
SATORU GOJO ✧
Satoru was not good with drunk people, apparently. You were usually the one babysitting him, making sure he doesn’t almost destroy the entire universe and all. But now the roles had swapped, and they had never done that before. Now, I admit, Satoru wasn’t very fond of the idea of you going out with friends to begin with, but it wasn’t because he was trying to control you or anything. It’s because he also wanted to go out and you said no because last time he tagged along you had to literally drag him home because he passed out. Ironic that he had to pick you up from the bar you were at and drive you home himself.
You were very clingy under the influence, giggling and laughing while holding onto his arm or his hand and always commenting on how strong he was. Obviously he entertained this idea, laughing an arrogant laugh and flexing for you which made you practically squeal. But now you were running around your guys’ house and getting into everything. Trying to cook yourself something, and then forgetting about it and almost burning your house down while you’re at it. He was chasing you only to quickly fix the messes you made. Good, maybe now he’ll understand how people feel about him…
When he finally catches up to you, Satoru pulls you into his arms while you giggle and squirm endlessly and covers your face in kisses. “You’re such a handful! Why can’t you just lay down with me and talk about how strong and cool I am?” He was pouting, and for some reason this made you laugh even more instead of playfully slap him and roll your eyes like you usually did. “What’s so funny?!” He relaxed his hold on you… But instead was now tickling your sides, making you burst out into even more laughter. “St- Haha, Stop!” You finally managed to get out, and when he did stop you looked up at him with big eyes and said, “Let’s watch a movie!”
So he got you all tucked into bed with a nice movie snack and got your favorite one started up, but as soon as he put one arm around your shoulder you fell asleep against his shoulder. Satoru sighed and just rested his head on top of yours. “They really made me do all that work, and for what?”
NANAMI KENTO ✧
Nanami didn’t really think much of it, to be honest. When you suggested the idea of going out with friends he didn’t hesitate to approve. All he wanted was that you text him every now and then and keep your ringer on for the sake of him knowing you were okay. He even made sure you knew he would be okay with picking you up if you got too tipsy to walk home yourself, so he wasn’t worried about that either. He just wanted you to have fun!
Except there was one thing he didn’t take into account, and it was that you were going to pounce on him when you got home. Your friends dropped you off in good condition, except that you were stumbling over both your words and your feet. He smiled and thanked them before helping you inside, one strong hand on your bicep to keep you steady. This really riled you up apparently, because you turned and clutched the collar of his shirt and yanked him down for a kiss. You were giggling in between every kiss, pulling away just to see how cute he looked with lipstick covering his own lips.
“Honey, I don’t-” “Shhhhh… Hehe.” You place a finger to his lips to shut him up, still giggling. You lean in for another kiss, hands trailing down his chest. This time he pulls away, and when you lean in for another kiss he puts his hands on your waist and pushes you back lightly, a very stern expression on his face that makes you pout. “Whaaaat?”
“You’re drunk, dear. I’d rather not do anything until you’re fully sober.” You whined, but didn’t try to push it any further for the moment. You dramatically stumbled over to the couch and fell face first into the cushions, wailing, though no tears fell. He sighed and followed you, sitting down at your feet and staring at your figure that was nearly crying now. “I promise it has nothing to do with you, I just don’t want you to wake up and regret anything.”
You lifted yourself up slightly and looked over your shoulder at him, eyebrows knitted together in a sad expression. “Do you promise I’m still sexy, though?”
He fell silent for a moment, because that was arguably the most unexpected question he had received. “I will always find you sexy, dear. Don’t worry.” All was well again when you smiled and leaned up against his arm, giggling again.
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Recently I’ve been kind of obsessed with Geto. Apparently he canonically gets more girls than Gojo and I think that’s so real because who can possibly resist a long haired man… Both is good, though.
Threesome fic when?
As always, requests are open! Find more information here…
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jeansplaytoy · 10 months
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habits aot guys have after a breakup.
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includes: Connie, Reiner, Levi, Eren, Armin. (angst? sorry bb), language, lowercase wording.
so sorry if it’s too short! if this one gets kind of popular like my last head cannon did, I’ll continue doing them.
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eren never wanted to admit it, neither did he wanna show it, but he missed the hell out of you. he missed the way you talked to him, looked at him, but sometimes he just does shit that makes you not wanna stay. which is why you didn’t. that’s why he’s always cursing at himself when he’s sitting on the bathroom counter, right before getting in the shower, waiting for something. but what’s he waiting for? he’s waiting for you to rush in the bathroom, explain why you’re late, and calm your nerves while taking a hot soak with him. as he looked around the bathroom, frowning, confused. “where the fuck…” he cut himself off right before pausing and exhaling, remembering that you weren’t there, and he had no reason to wait for you anymore. ever. he licked his lips before scratching his head, feeling almost frustrated at the feeling of guilt and shame. “fuck.” he whispered before grabbing a towel and hanging it above the shower curtain. it was gonna be his first shower in a long time that didn’t involve you in it, and it was gonna be the death of him.
now armin hated the fact that you two were done. he didn’t fully know why you broke up, but when you said that you needed a break from relationships, or him specifically, it rushed through his head with every thought, almost literally over flowing his brain. he wasn’t rude, or sensitive about it, but he was quiet about it. he never really liked mentioning it when someone asked. so as he thought about it, he laid down, finally trying to get a few hours of rest. he put his phone down, eyelids finally getting heavy. he lazily turned over, reaching his arm out and closing his eyes before his arm dropped. he flew up and looked at the spot you usually laid in. and of course, you weren’t there. armin tucked his lips in between his teeth and grabbed the pillow that you used to lay your head on. he still hasn’t washed it. he doesn’t want to. he put his arm over the pillow and moved it closer towards him. at least it was a little part of you. that’s what he told himself before he drifted away into sleep, an unintentional tear leaking down his eye as he did.
now sort of like eren, levi would never admit he missed you. like, ever. he didn’t talk bad about you, or didn’t specifically talk about how he didn’t miss you, but he would never just openly say it. and when someone rarely asked him if he did, he’d just shrug his shoulders and act like nothing ever happened. that’s what happened the day before he woke up, brushed his teeth, went downstairs with heavily low eyes, and walked into the kitchen, grabbing cups, and pouring coffee. he inhaled a little, about to lazily say your name, loud enough for you to hear it so that you’d go downstairs in a blanket and grab it. but that’s only until he noticed that he wasted one more cup of coffee for nothing. he was confused at first, because it was something you did every single day. he sighed, taking one cup and pouring the drink into the sink. “what a waste.” he muttered to himself while cleaning the cup and putting it in the cabinet. he grabbed his cup of coffee and started to drink up, only imagining that you were there with him, snickering and giggling at his mean facial expressions.
connie didn’t care. he didn’t care who asked, when they asked, how they asked, he’d always nod. he wasn’t scared to admit it when everyone knew it was true that he wanted you back. it was no one’s fault you’d broken up, you two just needed space. or, what he’d like to say, you just needed space, because “how the fuck could I ever leave her for this long?”… yeah. you were always on his mind, 25/8, he thought about you. I mean, nothing had changed when you’d left except for your presence and his feelings and actions towards people. so he thought about you as he walked into the mall. his hands in his sweat pants pockets as girls looked at him while he passed by. that was what you liked the most. that everyone wanted him, but couldn’t get him, because you were his. you were his. he looked at a new pair of Nikes that had came out, instantly searching for your size, like he normally did. he quickly turned around, preparing to tell you to get the shoes, because you two were gonna be matching, considering you’d literally had every matching pair of shoes you liked. but he frowned before turning back around to look at them. you’d always said you wanted them too. “fuck, bro.” he whispered before scratching the back of his neck and walking out of the shoe store. it was too bad that you wouldn’t even get to be his “mini me” anymore. hm.
reiner tried to play it off. he always did, hes reiner. anytime someone would ask, “do you miss her?” he’d respond with a straight up “no.” and it was almost an everyday routine with the amount of guy friends he had, and the amount of females that constantly flirted with him. he didn’t like them though, hell no. he despised them, not only because their only conversation starter would be about you, but because they weren’t you. and they would never compare to you, or be you. that’s what he told himself every time he was close to kissing another girl, that he pictured was you. and after the last awkward interaction with a girl like that, he drove home. leaning back, one hand on the steering wheel and another hand that his face was resting on. after a few minutes of silence, almost like how every argument ended, he reached his hand over to the passenger seat, but feeling air on his hand. he sat up and glanced over, seeing nothing, before fixing his eyes back on the road. he bit his lip. he was pissed at himself, for making you feel the way you did, when you did. for making you leave the way you wanted, when you wanted.
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luvrsux · 8 months
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i absolutely LOVEEE your mafia Shanks babe not to mention i adore any and eerryyyy thing you do!!! Was wondering if you could write honestly anything for Shanks who is just absolutely obssesed with reader. Live action Shanks did a NUMBER in my well-being that man’s SOOO FINE (literally has me in a chokehold) Have a GREAT day loverrr 🤭😩🤍
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thank you for the request \(◦´-`◦)/♡
“I Can Be a Better Boyfriend”
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word count: 9k
summary: shanks is obsessed with you but unfortunately youre spoken for. what you don’t know is that your boyfriend isn’t very loyal and shakes wants you all to himself
cw: NSFW, obsessive behavior, mentions of weaponry, choking, oral (receiving and giving), fucking while on the phone
a/n: my longest fic⁉️
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There was a slight tension in the room you sat innocently in, surrounded by chatter and laughter. You had a cold cup of an alcoholic beverage in hand while you sat close to your chatterbox boyfriend, where the tension lingered. You sensed the tension coming from him and who it was toward. You’d flicker your eyes between your close friend, Shanks, and your boyfriend, seeing how transparent the jealousy was—but it was a party, you thought. No need to cause a scene, right?
“Let’s play truth or dare!” The drunken cowboy said waving an empty bottle in the air before letting it roll in the center. His scruffy brother Luffy yelled in agreement.
Your eyes trailed towards the redhead who now had a smug grin directed straight toward the man that held you close beside you. You gulped.
Your boyfriend and Shanks never had the best relationship. The oddly overprotective guy would always tell you how he was bad news, and shower you with flirtatious comments like how you were too good for the likes of him. The way Shanks would go on and on about you was the very thing that made your partner want to rip him into shreds. You loved Shanks, though. He was there for you since day one and was always your ride or die. You didn’t want to throw him out for a guy, and your partner respected that.
In reality, Shanks was infatuated with you. Since the day he laid eyes upon you, he wanted you all to himself. He dreamed of wrapping you in his own arms any given chance he wanted, even in public. During the years you two shared a friendship, he remembered each and everything that made you smile, laugh, sad, or angry. Shanks knew you better than you even knew yourself. He was obsessed with you—and boy was he upset when he found out you were spoken for.
Shanks made it an ultimate goal to make you his sooner or later. It’s something he craved, itched for. He made it painfully obvious that he loved you far more than just a friend. Those flirtatious gestures were just the beginning. He’d sometimes stalk you on social media when you didn’t talk to him, and even go out of his way to “accidentally” bump into you when you were out. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could get in between you and him. Not even you’re good for nothing boyfriend that has been cheating on you for months right under your nose.
Shanks knew, from the beginning. You weren’t the only person he’d keep tabs on, necessarily. He found out your liar of a partner had been betraying your trust with random women for some time. Shanks could never tell you because the thought of him being the reason you were upset over someone who wasn’t worth it broke his heart, despite the fact he didn’t even do the unfaithful act. Believe it when Shanks found out, he was furious. Luckily for the man himself, he had a few tricks up his sleeves already…
Back to reality, you happily agreed to play truth or dare with the little gathering of Shanks’ friends and your own. You all sat on the carpeted floor while Shanks kept slouching on the love chair. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.
“I’ll go first! Me, me!” Luffy pushed his brother aside and received an angry ‘Hey!’ in the process. He did his iconic giggle while he spun the bottle in the middle. It landed straight at Roux, who had a beaming smile.
Roux picked a dare that was asked by Luffy and it was simple enough. Luffy dared Roux to finish Beckmann’s plate of food and he ever so happily obliged. You giggled at Benn’s furious remarks now that his plate of food was nothing but thin air.
“Who’s next?” Shanks asks. Ace pushes Luffy aside, who is ready to steal a turn, and raises his hand. Ace leaned over to the glass bottle.
“I’ll spin” With that, the bottle spun in circles before landing directly at you. You went wide-eyed, not expecting to go so soon. You noticed Ace forming a devilish smile.
“Truth or dare?” He asked.
Maybe the alcohol was getting to you, or maybe it was the amount of adrenaline circuiting through your veins since you were the second pick but you immediately said dare. Ace chuckled under his breath quite deviously.
“I dare you to sit on… Shanks’ lap for the rest of the game” Ace clapped his hands together and laughed. Shanks looked at Ace with a pleased smile before resting his head on his knuckles to look dead straight at you.
Your jealous partner grabbed your hand in objection when he realized you were getting ready to oblige. He stared at you with sinister eyes, not wanting you to go near the redhead, who now was more than amused by your jealous boyfriend's reaction.
“Babe, don’t… You already know how I feel about him…” He ironically says. You smile and leave a peck on his cheek as comfort, to which he didn’t deserve.
“Trust me, it’s fine. Me and Shanks aren’t like that. I’ll chicken out of the dare after a few rounds, okay?” You whisper.
The group stared at you two, anticipating if you’d chicken out or not, which had a punishment. You weren’t too excited to receive a possible hardcore punishment from the reckless boys, so you decided to go with the dare. Your boyfriend just scoffed and let you be, not even caring about your words.
Shanks had eyes trailing along your body like he had just seen a goddess blind him as you walked yourself over to him. He had beaming eyes as well as a devious smile. He didn’t hesitate to sit up straight for you to use him as a newfound seat. Since he felt your body press against his crotch, he was ready to show everyone in this room, including your scumbag partner, who he truly loved. You felt your cheeks flare up once your back grazed against his partially exposed chest. Your body was stiff and you wondered why you became so flustered around the redhead. Shanks avoided touching you, for now.
A round or two went on and your partner looked aggravated. He barely participated in games and just chose truth for every round. Shanks enjoyed the angry view of your partner meanwhile you started to feel a bit bad. Shanks caught a glimpse of your empathetic attitude and quickly wanted to make a stop to it. ‘You shouldn’t waste a single breath out of your pretty face for him, (F/N)’
Your partner got chosen again and, lo and behold, he chose truth. He had daggers in his eyes towards Shanks and you, who sat on his lap so innocently with doe eyes. He saw Shanks whisper something in your sweet ear and you sprout up in giggles. As soon as you covered your face with your palms from your silly laughter, Shanks made absolutely sure he made eye contact with the boy across from you.
“Are you jealous of Shanks and (F/N) right now?” Someone asks your partner. Your laughter dies down upon hearing the question, your expression growing more serious. You watch your partner exhale deeply and form a fake smile.
“No, of course not! I trust my girl, she’s the best” He bullshitted. In reality, he wanted to rage at the redhead and yell at you for condoning the behavior. Shanks saw right through his fake facade and gave him a glare.
“Bullshit…”
He murmured. You heard a rumble from his chest and you turned your head around. The scent of your shampoo slithered into Shanks's nose and he formed a smile.
“Said something?” You ask innocently. He looked you up and down with a relaxed smile and half-lidded eyes.
“No, don’t worry, doll” He cooed. His tone of voice made your body shiver. You didn’t know how to process the new nickname he gave you, but chose not to say anything.
“Aww, how cute”
“Goals!”
“I’m surprised”
Unlike Shanks, everyone bought into your partner's fake lies. Shanks hated that no one knew who he actually was. Your fraud of a boyfriend gathered the praise to only fuel his fragile ego even more, and the redhead you sat comfortably on didn’t like it. Soon, you felt a tender arm wrap around your waist and a half-bare chest press against your back. You slightly inhaled sharply at the sudden feeling.
“Sorry ‘bout that. Needed to get comfortable, y’know?” Shanks chuckled right beside your ear. You could feel his breath slightly tickle your neck.
He displayed quite the show in front of your now-boiling partner. You could’ve sworn you saw a vein come out of his forehead. Steam might as well be coming out of his ears at this point. He cleared his throat and slammed his drink on the floor, causing a loud thump.
“Wow, it’s late. I have work in the morning, I’ll see you guys” He, yet again, created a fake mask to prevent any scene from happening. You heard in his tone was quite on edge and jolted. The firm arm around your body restricts you from easily getting up.
When you saw your partner approach the door with his coat, you finally broke free of Shanks to chase after him. The scene made Shanks want to hurt him, but he could only curse under his breath.
“Babe, babe…” You say, grabbing his hand. He whips at you with daggered eyes. You felt your heart sink a few feet into the Earth's core.
“Don’t ‘babe’ me… He was all over you” He hissed. You opened your mouth agape to rebuttal but were interrupted by him facing the illuminated screen of his phone rather than you. He seemed as if he had a message he needed to read.
“Who’s that?” You abruptly ask. He angrily tucked his phone away and finally faced you. His arms slithered through his jacket and slipped it on.
“Just a coworker. Look, I gotta go. I’ll text you tomorrow” He gave a quick peck on your cheek as well as a quick glare at the staring redhead, to which you had not noticed. You stared at the door in defeat.
“Love you…”
You said to yourself.
In actuality, lately, you’ve grown skeptical of your partner. You’d notice that he couldn’t go a second without his phone and have a heart attack if it went missing like it was his own kin. The moment he got defensive about you snatching his phone from him, you started to overthink and rethink your trust in him. Your trust and overthinking would fluctuate as days passed. One day, he’d be absent-minded and forget your plans no matter how much effort you’d put into it. Another day, he’d shower you with gifts and compliments. On days like those, it’d make you quite delusional and forget the rather questionable behavior he’d project. You also began to sense a bit more animosity from him towards you. He’d blame it on work, but he couldn’t seem to not stop pouring out his anger onto you. The only person who could comfort you on those heartbreaking days was none other than Red-Haired Shanks.
While you stared at the blank door in front while chatter, laughter and music played behind you, you sighed in complete defeat. Now that your mood completely plummeted by your fraud partner, you had no reason to keep the party going. You wished you hadn’t hosted the get together at your own home but here you were. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders.
“Everything alright?” A voice spoke to you. You quickly averted your menacing stare from the door to a more oblivious gaze at the redhead.
“Oh, erm…” You stammer. You couldn’t help but shrug in defeat. “Guess I’m just tired… Can you tell-“
“Don’t worry your little pretty head”
Shanks winked and patted your head. Shanks immediately caught onto the situation as if he didn’t eavesdrop on the entire quarrel. You made eye contact with his back while he stood tall in front of the partying group.
“Alright guys, (F/N) needs rest. Party’s over”
You heard Shanks try to escort everyone out of the comfort of your house so you can decompress your stress from your failing relationship. Everyone groggily objected to leaving before being dragged out by their more sober friends. You watched Shanks push everyone out of the front door from the sidelines, admiring his charm and kind gesture. He immediately knew you needed space and quiet. The way he could sense everything about you made your heart skip a few beats.
・❥・
“That should be everyone” Shanks chuckled, clicking the door shut. You rubbed your arm nervously and hummed, gazing at your close friend. He approached you with loving eyes. You felt his finger tuck a lingering strand of hair behind your ear.
“You sure you’re alright?” He asked, rather close to your face. With one single push, you were bound to crash your lips against his own. You gulped.
“Yeah… Promise” You murmur. Shanks gazed at the features on your face as if he couldn’t get enough of it. He’s seen your face a million times and stared at your pictures on social media for ages but he still couldn’t get enough. He chuckled.
“I’ll stick around and clean up. You get rest, doll” He repeated the nickname once again. You still didn’t know how to feel about it and why he called you that, but for some odd reason, it made you gush.
“Are you sure?” You asked, watching him already get to work on tidying your messy living room. He hummed.
“Promise. Now go sleep”
You gave him one tight squeeze of his chest. You could faintly hear his heartbeat for a moment before you pulled away. Shanks resisted every urge to keep you there.
“Thank you, Shanks. You’re the best” You beamed.
Those words made Shanks fall in love with you all over again. He saw you skip away to the hallway that led to your very own room. Shanks let out a small chuckle before continuing to pick up the lingering cups and cigarette buds.
Shanks made sure you went to bed alright before he could leave. He escorted you to your room and saw you tuck yourself in bed. He felt like slithering his body next to yours, but that’d have to wait a little bit longer. As soon as you saw him make his merry way to your door, you sat up.
“Wait… Do you maybe wanna… Sleepover? The couch is right there” You offered with a sweet smile. Shanks was more than on board to take the offer, but there was something he had to do.
“I’d love to, doll. But I have to do something at home” Shanks painfully declined. The sight of your small frown made his chest tighten.
“Alright…” You say softly. Shanks gave you a comforting smile in hopes of making that frown turn into that smile he loved dearly.
“I’ll come in the morning to check on you, don’t worry. I’ll bring some breakfast on the way” Shanks smiled. Your disappointed demeanor shifted like whiplash by Shanks’ mere words.
“Really? Oh, thank you!” You beamed. Shanks was happy that you were now pleased. He hummed and gave you one last sweet smile.
“Anything for you” He murmured before leaving the room.
He exhaled out of pure euphoria by simply talking to you and seeing you as sweet as ever. For a moment, he forgot why he even had to leave in the first place. Before he could consider slumping on the couch, the buzzing of his phone snapped him back to reality.
Yassop - 11:56 PM
target is at the scene just as planned, cap
His memory traced back to him as soon as his eyes trailed along the message sent by his trusty partner-in-crime. Shanks carved a menacing smile and strutted his body to leave the comfort of your home.
Shanks - 11:58 PM
on the way
・❥・
Shanks sat in his car as casually as ever. Completely brushing off the fact he was about to do something completely against the law. The orange street lights slightly illuminated against the dewed window beside him and he stared up at the building before him. He kept his eyes locked on a specific window which showed a silhouette of his newfound target. Shanks could feel himself getting antsy as he’d been meaning to do this for a while, and the time as finally come. With glossed photo captures in his raven trench coat and a steel, sharp dagger tucked away on the other side, he exited his car when the moment was right.
The redhead had his head ducked down until he stepped inside the apartment complex. The stairwell is rugged but fortunately empty. At this hour, people were sound asleep in their own peaceful dreams. Shanks, having done this a couple times before, knew exactly which door was the gateway to his target's demise. As soon as he landed his sinister eyes on the locked door, he never felt so much adrenaline in his system when he gave it a single knock.
“Yeah, yeah babe I know- Hello?”
There he was. Your partner, on the phone with someone who most definitely wasn’t you, swung the door open to a smiling Shanks. He pulled his device away from his ear to eye the tall, blood-haired man up and down.
“What the fuck are you- Mmmph!”
Shanks made himself feel welcome and shoved a hand against his mouth. His hand gripped his jaw so tightly, that he thought he could’ve shattered it right there and then. Your boyfriend stared up at Shanks with widened eyes that had his whole life flashing before him. The unfamiliar feminine voice on the other line could be faintly heard, frequently saying “Hello?” “Are you there?” “What’s going on?”. To avoid suspicion and the police locking Shanks in handcuffs, he had to put an end to that conversation.
“Hang up the phone”
His voice rumbled against his trembling ear. He could’ve killed someone with a single sinister tone with the way he spoke into your partner's ear. He nodded frantically, already obeying Shanks like a dog and he hadn’t even pulled out his dagger yet. He let go of his bound-to-be bruised jaw and let him speak.
“I’ll- Call you back” He stammered. Shanks could faintly hear the voice continue to bombard him with questions but to no avail. He had already cut the line before explaining. Seeing as how he had a tight grip around his jaw, he wondered what else Shanks was capable of if he didn’t oblige.
“What do you want…?” He gulped. Shanks chuckled. He just looked and paced around the comfort of your boyfriend’s home as if it were his own. He trailed his eyes on an opened can of beer and an opened pizza box.
“Takeout? You must’ve known I was coming, I’m starving” Shanks ignores his shaken question. He picked up a slice, which was rather cold to his liking but it sufficed. He nonchalantly took a happy bite and washed it down with the freshly cracked open beverage.
“You have pretty good taste, I’ll give you that much,” Shanks said with a mouthful. Your boyfriend watched the scene with horrified eyes. He was completely distraught and it might as well give him whiplash with the way he behaved. Just a moment ago he had a hand around his face that was ready to snap it, and now he’s acting like a house guest.
“What the hell do you want, Shanks?” He says more confidently. Shanks notices his bolder tone rather than his more scared one like before. He gives him a bit of a menacing side eye before rummaging in his pocket.
Suddenly, 4k resolution glossed images spread on the table Shanks was feasting on. Each image presented a quality image of your liar of a boyfriend going behind your back with several different women. Some contained regular romantic dates while others were more explicit. Each one captured a clear view of his face to make sure it was undoubtedly your unfaithful partner. Upon glancing at each and every one of them, he felt his heart drop miles into the pits of the Earth. He thought he was being discreet and slick about his actions, but the truth always unveils itself, doesn’t it? Especially by someone as obsessive as Shanks.
“How did you-…” He began. He furrowed his eyebrows to a Shanks that continued eating at his pizza slice innocently. He clenched his fists into balls.
“Don’t you dare go and tell (F/N) about this-!” He begins but is cut off by a devious chuckle. His face dropped upon hearing it from the redhead. He watched him drop the half-eaten piece of food on the floor carelessly and rummage around in his pocket. Before your partner knew it, another hand clenched his jaw. What made this time entirely different and a lot more petrifying was now he felt a cold, steel item lightly pierce into the flesh of his neck. He watched the blade with bloodshot, scared eyes while Shanks did as well with a smile.
“I won’t tell that pretty girl, I don’t want to break her precious heart” He cooed. Shanks leans into his ear to yet again use that sinister voice to his advantage.
“You’re going to tell her about each and every time you were an unfaithful dick to her before sunset tomorrow” Shanks could hear his frantic, horrified, shaken breaths. “And, trust me, I’ll know. You’d consider this interaction a lot nicer than the one I’ll give you if you don’t do as I say. That a deal?” He asks. No response due to the sheer shell shock Shanks provided.
“I said is that a fucking deal?”
Shanks's devious smile dropped to a stone-cold, serious look. After repeating himself once, your “boyfriend” was afraid of what would happen if it happened a second time. He frantically nodded as his life depended on it. Shanks could feel a wet, warm sensation on his hand. He pulled his head away from his ear to reveal the once bold guy grew tears on his face.
“What a pussy…” He pushed him aside for him to collapse on the floor. Shanks wiped his dewed off to dry. He exhaled, his job finally done for the night and now completely satisfied. Although, he was a little disappointed that he couldn’t draw blood.
“Thanks for the meal, greatly appreciate it. See ya!” He says rather cheerfully before exiting the room.
Shanks never had such a big beaming, evil grin on his face before.
・❥・
You sat on your cushioned couch, minding your business. You had your eyes locked on the screen mindlessly, not a single thought behind those eyes. That is, besides the thought of your “partner”. He hadn’t messaged you at all since the gathering. You’ve been sending him several messages but they all met the same fate; left on delivered.
The only thing that made your day better was that Shanks kept his word. He was invited into your home with open arms with fresh breakfast in hand. You remember sharing the meal together. One thing, in particular, was the moment Shanks had a finger wipe off the lingering sauce on the side of your mouth only to lick it off of his own finger. Something about the interaction made your stomach flip. After Shanks's unfortunate departure, you were left alone worrying about your relationship. You didn’t want to bother the redhead about it considering he’s heard it a million times, but he’d hear it a million times more in a heartbeat.
You were just about to finally call him to ask him what he was doing. Those skeptical feelings came flooding back as usual. The thought of there being someone made your stomach turn, but it’s been such a recurring thought for a while that the feeling of heartbreak became more bearable. Your thumb hovered the call button until it was quickly pulled away by your own body from the sound of your door knocking. You presumed it would be Shanks since he liked to surprise you often.
You trotted your feet towards the door that, for some reason, grew more frantic knocks—like the person needed to get ahold of you. You sighed and adjusted your clothing to seem more presentable and less lazy-like.
“I’m coming, I’m coming” You annoyingly say before twisting the metal knob to the side. You swung the door open, hearing the mass impact of the raining water meeting the ground. You stare up at your drenched boyfriend with sad eyes.
“Babe…? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You frantically ask, your once annoyed demeanor completely vanishing. Without a word, he pushed passed you like you didn’t say a single thing. He created small footprint puddles on your hardwood floors as he walked. You quickly shut the door.
“I-… I need to talk to you, (F/N)” He used your actual name, which he started resulting in a lot more than before. He spoke in a horse tone as if he’d been running a marathon. You quickly trailed him to the couch to get him comfortable.
“What’s up? C’mon, talk to me” You placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature, knowing the probable chance of him getting sick from the pouring rain.
“Listen,” He began. His eyes were filled with absolutely nothing but guilt. He wrapped his soaked hands around your warm and dry ones. “You have to get rid of Shanks” He blurted.
You blinked, staring at him completely dumbfounded. You two have slightly argued about Shanks but you’ve done everything in your ability to prove to your insecure partner that you were loyal and not into Shanks, so you thought. You nervously tucked your hair behind your ear.
“What? Why, what are you talking about-?”
“He- He- He came to my fucking house” He cut off and started speaking frantically. You watched in disbelief. “He showed me pictures and told me to tell you-“ He realized he’d been speaking too much, not intending on doing what Shanks told him to initially do. He thought Shanks’ little threats were a bluff, but the weird feeling of him being watched said otherwise.
“…Tell me what?” You ask. You noticed that he realized he spoke too much, and you internally began piecing everything together. He felt your hands slip from his grasp.
“That-… Doesn’t matter. The point is that he’s fucking crazy-“
“What were pictures, (NAME)? What do you need to tell me?” You asked more sternly, hoping and praying you weren’t about to be right about your speculations.
“C’mon, babe… He tried to threaten me” He formed a smile to woo you onto him but to no avail. You just raised an eyebrow. He scoffed.
“They were pictures… Of me” He tried to end it there but you weren’t satisfied. Shanks wouldn’t go that far for simple selfies.
“Of me and some… women” He finally admitted, attempting to say the last word in a lower tone in hopes you didn’t hear—but you did. You abruptly got up from your seat. As soon as he saw you were about to shout, he quickly tried to cover it up.
“But babe I love you, I promise! Those-… Those were just-“
“Shut the hell up!”
You held all that pent-up anger and finally released it with that one scream. He jolted and kept his mouth completely sealed. You began to swell with tears but blinked them away to refuse to show any sense of vulnerability.
“You come to my house after ignoring me all day to shit talk my best friend when you’ve been cheating on me?” You stepped forward to him only for him to laugh nervously and step back.
“I’ve actually known for a while but refused to believe it! And there’s photo evidence?” You didn’t stop yourself from getting up in his face with a seething glare.
“You’re a gaslighting piece of shit! I never want to see your face again”
With those words coming out of your mouth, he glared right back at you. He huffed, running his fingers through his locks to finally speak.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you were cheating on me with that redhead, anyway” He turned his body to snatch his jacket. Unsatisfied with the fact he couldn't manipulate you into believing him, he decided to just flee.
“I sure as hell should’ve so you can understand how the hell it feels, asshole” You chased him to the door so you can continue embarrassing him now that his little plan of him manipulating you didn’t work.
“Have fun sucking Shanks’ dick, (F/N)” He cursed at the doorway. His remark made you grin sinisterly.
“Oh, I will and maybe I’ll send pictures to your mailbox to prove it”
You slammed the door with all the remaining might you have left thanks to adrenaline. You breathed heavily while your body was shaken from shock. You let out one last frustrated groan before stomping to your couch. After a few seconds, you finally snapped back to the harsh reality of the fact your trust got betrayed. You finally let out those tears you held captive while you were shouting. You palmed your eyes and sniffled for minutes on end, not knowing what to do for the future. You finally grab your phone to call the only person who could make you feel better.
“Hello? Everything okay, doll?”
“He-… He cheated on me…”
Shanks had been lingering in his car, not far from your location. Your sobbing words made Shanks grin menacingly. He internally celebrated that his plan worked out thoroughly. Once he realized you were sobbing over the phone, he hit the pedal on his car to speed his way to your home.
“That’s awful… He’s such an idiot” Shanks tried to hide his excitement from the sole fact you were not available. But, of course, your vulnerable state was far more important.
“Come over, please…” You beg, murmuring over the phone. Shanks hummed, feeling his heart slightly tear at your low and saddened voice.
“Of course, sweetheart”
His soothing, sweet, charming voice made your tears suddenly halt. You hum and hang up the phone to wait for your new knight in shining armor to make all your sorrows disappear.
・❥・
“Oh, doll, you look horrible,” Shanks said with a sympathetic frown. He cupped your face, wiping down your drenched cheeks until they were dry. You let it happen and stared into his caring eyes that trailed along your features.
He pulled you into the same couch you rotted in previously. He sat you down and quickly poured you a glass of water, fully knowing you hadn’t kept yourself hydrated.
“What happened? Did he tell you personally?” Shanks innocently asked as if he wasn’t the sole reason this whole ordeal occurred in the first place.
“He came and began accusing you… He told me you showed him pictures of him with some women?” You turned to him, who had stopped his sudden movements. He decided to play along, not expecting the guy to snitch on him.
“That son of a bitch- Yeah… I did. I told him to tell you a few days ago” Shanks said, approaching you with a cold glass of fresh water. You watched with doe, red eyes.
“I didn’t want to tell you because you mean a lot to me. You deserve to hear it from him” Shanks smiled, handing you the glass. You believed every word and wrapped your hands around the glass, brushing your fingers against his own which sent slight shockwaves.
“I’m surprised you believed him. Sometimes people in your shoes believe his shitty lies” Shanks wrapped an arm around your shoulder to physically comfort you.
“I was suspicious for a while, I was just… Too delusional to do anything” You say lowly, entirely out of embarrassment. You felt a finger pull your chin up his face.
“You did the right thing, sweetheart. He was a terrible partner” Shanks formed a small smile to help one carve from your lips. It was contagious and you couldn’t help it.
“Yeah, I suppose so…” You say. You stare into his eyes and slightly blush from the sudden position you are in. If anyone were to catch a glimpse of your current state, they’d assume you and Shanks were a couple.
“Why do you call me those things, Shanks?” You abruptly ask. Shanks hummed and tilted his head, ever so slightly inching it forward.
“You want my honest answer?” He says with a grin. You paused for a moment before you could muster up a response. All you could do was nod submissively.
“I love you, (F/N)” He says proudly. Those words shot through your heart and everything made perfect sense. Your now ex-boyfriend’s suspensions were correct, to which you’d always deny.
“I have been since I laid eyes on you. You’re absolutely perfect, and I can’t get enough of you” You felt his fingers brush through your hair and slither from your chin down to your palm.
“I should’ve told you sooner if it meant you wouldn’t be crying over that scumbag” He planted a chaste kiss on your hand. He looked up at you with lovesick pupils and you didn’t know what came over you.
You didn’t know if it was your vulnerable emotions or the fact Shanks was being hot as hell but you slammed your lips against his as soon as he lifted them off of your hand. Shanks didn’t object, rather more shocked than anything. He placed an arm around the hook of your back when you began towering over his body. You let out a small noise once Shanks slipped his tongue into your mouth and he already began breaking through his pants.
You hungrily ran your palms on his half-exposed chest only to fuel your lust more. You felt his toned chest at your fingertips but you didn’t separate your lips. You felt Shanks’ eager hands grope the fats of your ass tenderly, only to birth a moan from your voice. With a single grind against his crotch, Shanks immediately pulled away.
“Wait, wait… Doll, do you want to do this?” He breathes. You eye his face up and down, now expecting the sudden change of direction. You bit your lip and collected your emotions. Your sex was already ready for him to tear you apart, but the way he’s been so caring and tender to you proved everything Shanks said to be true. If you were going to have sex, Shanks would be the perfect partner.
“Yes, I do…” “Are you sure?”
You nodded confidently, greatly appreciating his gesture to make sure you were comfortable and on board. With that single nod, Shanks wrapped his hand around your neck to pin you down. You hitched, not expecting his sudden course of action. It’s like as soon as you agreed, you unlocked a whole new person.
Shanks removed his hand and curiously traveled his hungry hands along your body. He groaned, leaning against your ear. You felt his strands of hair tickle the crook of your neck.
“I promise I’ll fuck you better than he ever has”
His words sent a wave of lust down your body. You couldn’t help but let a whimper escape. Shanks immediately tugged off your comfortable pants to leave you in your own lace. You inhaled.
He pressed two digits against your slit to feel the dampness from it. He bit his lower lip, immediately turned on even more by the fact you were already soaked from his touch.
“Such a good girl, already wet for me” He cooed. You felt his teeth clamp on your thin lace to slowly pull them off. He stared into your eyes each second until they were off.
Shanks gently spread your legs further apart to get a beautiful view of your cunt. He swore he was caught in a trance now that he was finally able to cherish this moment with you. He gave you one last glance before lowering his lips.
He trailed his wet tongue along your slit slowly, getting a small wave of moans from your mouth. He was only testing the waters, seeing how you taste and how much he loved each drop. Pressed his mouth against your slit and let out a hungry groan which sent vibrating sensations through your core.
He made sure to focus his mouth on your clit to give you waves of pleasure. It wasn’t long before you filled the entire living room with your, what he would call ‘pathetic’, moans, completely overshadowing the chatter of your TV.
Shanks pulled away from your throbbing clit to slip in two digits. He curved his fingers just the right way to hit your sweet spot with ease. The way you bucked your hips into his fingers was a sign he was making you feel euphoric.
“Like that? You like that?” He asked with a smile despite him already knowing the answer. You frantically nod.
“Yes~! Oh mmmph yes~!”
Your vocalization made Shanks groan and immediately show love to your begging clit. The rapidly rammed his fingers inside of you while he sucked and swirled his tongue around your bud. You never felt so much stimulation before. You immediately clamped your hand to tug Shanks’ bright locks, shoving his face into your cunt. You could feel his stumble rub just a bit against you.
“Mmm…”
Shanks rumbled once you shoved him further. He went at a rapid pace, forcing a faster pace inside of you. You felt that knot begin to snap and breathe heavily. Shanks’ remaining hand clenched your thigh out of anticipation.
“Shanks! I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum~!” You cry out. Shanks formed a slight smile while he devoured you whole.
“Mhm, mhm…” Shanks encouraged your climax. With a tight wrap of your thighs around your head and an arch of your back, you spurted on Shanks’ mouth with your entire might.
You heaved your chest once you rode your high on Shanks’ now drenched face. You unclamped your hand and thighs to set him free. He exhaled with a pleased smile and wiped his mouth dry. He gave your count a small slap.
“Such a good little girl, hm?” He hummed. You giggled and pulled him into another hot make-out session, tasting a bit of yourself on his lips. After a few moments, you pulled away.
“Your turn” You sang. Shanks paused for a moment, baffled you still had the endurance to keep going. He happily agreed and pulled his body off of yours.
You plopped your half-dressed body on the floor on your knees. Shanks man spread his legs before you with a smile and half-lidded eyes. You used your hands to lift your body on his crotch, pressing your breasts on his groin for him to feel. He bit his lip.
You unbuckled his belt that locked his rock-hard member in his pants. Once it was opened, you eagerly unzipped his pants. You felt Shanks lift his waist up to pull down his pants and boxers. The length of his member springing straight into your face caught you by surprise. You wondered if you’d be able to even get halfway down the shaft. Shanks exhaled, feeling relieved now that his hard member was set free from restriction.
“You sure you can handle it?” He asked, that same smug smile on his face. You gulped, wondering if you’d be able to. You eyed it up and down, replying with a nod.
“Then be a good girl for me and suck me dry”
You looked up at him with submissive eyes that he loved so much. The sight of it could make him cum in an instant. You kissed the tip of it, tasting the sleek pre cum. You wrapped your lips around the first part to slowly lower your head. You heard Shanks hiss.
“Mhmm~..” He hummed.
You were barely halfway there before you believed your mouth couldn’t take more. You moved slowly, drenching the first top of his member. Shanks bucked his hips ever so slightly into your mouth which would cause a gag to form.
“Lemme help you, princess” He smiled. You felt a hand grab each strand of hair into his own makeshift ponytail to lower you down. You whimpered, starting to feel it go past your actual mouth. Shanks finally lowered you down to the base and you were already tearing up.
“Theeeere you go. Take it alllll in your- mmm~ Mouth” Shanks groaned. You bobbed your head up and down to suck all of him off. You couldn’t stop gagging and choking despite your slow pace.
Shanks would huff at the warm and wet feeling of your mouth. He’d cock his head back a few times before he needed something more. He clenched your hair tighter to control your pace for you. He moved your head faster and faster until you had no more control over your own movement.
“Fuck, your mouth is so perfect f’me” You heard him growl. He had his mouth agape to let his pleasurable sounds escape his mouth. You looked up at him with dumb eyes that were swelled with tears. Shanks growled at the sight, wanting to paint your mouth white.
He loved the sound of slurping, gagging, and whimpers you let out on his member. He couldn’t get enough of it. His moans began to get more reckless the more he crept up to his climax.
“Good girl~ S-Such a good fucking girl” He seethed through his teeth while he skull fucked you with no remorse. Despite your waterfall eyes, you enjoyed Shanks demolishing your throat. Once you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, you pulled your mouth right off his shaft, making a popping sound. Thanks to your slippery mouth and saliva, the member was lubed enough to stroke it just as fast as your mouth was. You heard Shanks grunt and jolt his hips to thrust into your palm.
“Fuck~!”
He spurted his seed all over your face. You stuck out your tongue with a smile to catch some of it into your mouth to taste. You loved it. Shanks coated your face with all of his love juice which seemed to go on forever. He loved the sight of your dirtied-up face.
You swallowed the excess cum that entered your mouth and Shanks smiled in delight. He sat up straight to tilt his body closer to you.
“Cmere”
He grabs you, gently, by the neck to lead you back on the couch on your back. Much like before, Shanks planted his lips on your own as an intermission. He was far from exhausted and so were you. You never experienced this much pleasure and euphoria from sexual activities with your ex-partner. Shanks showed you a whole new world of pleasure.
He parted his lips from yours and huffed. He ripped off his shirt that sluggishly covered his body to expose his toned body. You admired it like it was a museum exhibit. Shanks ran his fingers through his locks before leaning into your ear.
“I’m gonna need a condom because I’m about to fuck the shit out of you, princess” He grinned, biting the lobe of your ear. You giggled in pleasure and kissed the side of his cheek.
“In the second drawer on my nightstand, baby” You cooed. Shanks chuckled and ripped his body off yours after leaving a kiss on your forehead.
He tucked his member back into his loose pants temporarily to grab the contraceptive. You sat up and huffed, a dope smile on your face from the sheer amount of pleasure Shanks brought you. You remembered to finish cleaning your sin filled face until suddenly, your phone began buzzing rhythmically on the coffee table beside you. Considering Shanks was busy at the moment, you thought it wouldn’t hurt to answer.
You saw the caller ID and frowned. Of course, he was calling you to beg for forgiveness. For some odd reason, something told you to answer only to tell him off more.
“What do you want?” You say coldly.
“Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything” He pleaded. By the congestion of his voice and how shaken it was, it seemed like he had been crying for quite some time. The thought made you grin when you realized you’ve been getting pleased by Shanks while he’s been pathetically crying.
“Uhuh, right… And I’m guessing you didn’t mean to cheat on me either?” You say, laying on your stomach while the phone is on your ear. You heard footsteps.
“No! I swear I was stupid and I regret every second, Trust me (F/N)! I…” He went on and on about excuses but you listened blankly when you felt hands grab your hips, forcing you into an arched back position.
You whipped your head back to Shanks to rip open the bag with his teeth. He effortlessly slipped on the condom along his shaft and rubbed it against your entrance. While your ex cried over the other line, Shanks leaned against your ear.
“Don’t hang up that damn phone yet, sweetheart. I want him to hear me fuck you a little and cry even more…” He sadistically spoke into your ear. You replied with a grin and turned your head around straight ahead.
“Why are even you calling me?” You cut off.
You felt Shanks slip in his length inside of your entrance. You bit your lip to hold back a moan while Shanks just lowly groaned when he felt your walls wrap around his member like he longed for. It felt better than Shanks expected.
“Because I want you back, (F/N)! You- you mean so much to me and I swear I didn’t mean it”
Shanks had a hand on your lower back when he began thrusting. The sounds of skin making contact couldn’t travel to the other line of the phone, yet. Shanks moved at a decent pace and it became harder to hold back a moan the more time passed.
“Y-Yeah… You do- haah..~” You say, barely paying attention to his cries over the phone. He could hear your heavy breathing and stopped his frantic attempts to get you back.
“Are you-… Alright? Why are you breathing so hard?”
Shanks heard his question and it was his queue to recklessly slam into you at a rapid pace. Now, the sinful sounds from both bodies made their way to the phone. Your ex could now hear it clearly.
“Ah~! G-Gotta go, cya!” You frantically say. You pull your phone away from your ear to hang up. You could faintly hear him shout and scream once he caught on the fact you were getting the brains fucked out of you. You threw your phone aside once the line was cut and filled the room with the moans you held back.
“Ah~! Fuck, Shanks~! Mmmmph~!” “You feel fucking amazing, baby~.. Fuck~”
Shanks would throw a mixture of praise and degradation which you loved more than anything. Shanks threw his head back and grabbed your love handles to pound into your body like his life depended on it.
“Augh~! Fuck, princess~!”
You repeatedly and messily moaned left and right, your brain going completely blank. The way Shanks mercilessly pounded into your core made your brain go white and all you could do was mewl and scream from Shanks cock. You felt a sudden rise of pleasure burn up, on your way to your second orgasm. Shanks felt your thighs shake.
“Gonna cum? Gonna cum f’me?” He let out a heavy pant and grunt. He didn’t stop his pace, he didn’t slow down a second. You nodded submissively.
“Yes, yes, yes~! Mmmh~!” You let out a sweet little cry and left your mouth agape to let out shaken, rocky moans.
As soon as you felt your juices begin to spurt out of you, you moaned rapidly. Shanks chuckled from the pure excitement from your second climax. He felt beads of sweat from on his forehead and his breathing grew hoarse.
“Shanks~! Oh, fuck Shanks~!” You shrieked once you released your juices on his still rapid-pacing cock. He enjoyed the view, not taking his eyes off of it for a second when you let your high rise out of you. The way he didn’t slow down even then made your brain flatline. Your moans got raspy and hoarse from the never-ending thrusts.
“Just a bit- mmmh~! Longer, baby. I’m about to cum” He caressed your skin to comfort you just a bit after your intense orgasm. You hummed in agreement at Shanks’ words. “You’re so fucking beautiful, you slut”
With a few more pounds, you felt his member twitch inside of you. Shanks impulsively yanked on your now tangled hair to yank your head upward. He wanted to hear you shout with that last slam before he’d release every warm drop of semen “inside” of you.
“Fuck~!!” With that last shout, he filled the condom damn there to the brim. He wished he could cover your walls with his sticky seed until it poured out of you, but this would suffice for now. He slowly kept going for a few more strokes. “God, I fucking love you, (F/N)”
You felt Shanks let go of your hair which left you to collapse on the couch when he pulled out. Shanks huffed as he pulled the used condom off his shaft to throw it away. While he did his thing, there you laid on the couch with your legs shaking and feeling like you ran a marathon. You began to regain consciousness after getting your brains fucked into the next week. You felt Shanks pick you up into his chest and walk you to your dark bedroom.
The sun already set and it was the nightly hour. Shanks laid you down on your bed and pulled the sheets over your worn-out body. He removed the remaining strands of hair stuck on your face with a finger as well as a satisfied smile. Sure, he was a menace while fucking you but he didn’t lie about loving you. Even if you were half asleep, you deserved aftercare, he thought.
“Cuddle me…” You murmur.
You heard Shanks chuckle before walking to the other side of the bed to slip his body close to yours like he imagined yesterday. You immediately latched your body onto his, feeling his arms around your own. All your sorrow and sadness vanished just by being in trustworthy arms.
“Do you really… love me?” You groggily ask. Shanks hummed, looking up from the ceiling to you. All he could do was smile.
“More than anything. You’re perfect for me, (F/N)” He caressed the back of your head to reassure you.
Knowing Shanks for quite some time, you knew he wasn’t lying. You just found it baffling how he showed you his undying love for you right after you found out the truth about your previous relationship. You giggled.
“So you wanted me to break up with him, huh?” You call out.
“Guilty as charged”
You heard him chuckle. You then remembered the phone call you had while Shanks was fucking your guts out. You let out yet another amused giggle.
“Do you think he actually heard us?” You ask. Shanks let out a hearty chuckle at your question, remembering about the whole ordeal. It seemed like his orgasm made him forget about everything that wasn’t your moans.
“Oh, definitely. Must suck for him” He said sadistically, but it only caused you to continue giggling. Now, you have zero remorse for him compared to just yesterday.
“How about I take you on an actual date sometime?” Shanks offered.
The thought of having a more romantic moment with the man you trusted sounded just as good as the way he fucked you. He smiled on his chest and shut your eyes closed to end the night at this perfect moment.
“I’d love that, Shanks”
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chaotic-iguana · 9 months
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Refuge | chapter three. 
series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter | general masterlist 
chapter three: damning rebirth
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wordcount: 3.8k - my longest work yet lmao summary: what if reader and joel were married before the outbreak? warnings: angst, estrangement, anger, violence, sad, its like centered around finding yourself again, reader and joel are both quite complicated broken ppl im trying to do them justice, not much joel he’ll be in the next chapter i promise.
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You didn’t speak to him for weeks after that first afternoon. You’d run out of words to say. You stopped speaking to his brother, too, for keeping you in the dark; ignoring Maria’s justifications, the constant droning of “…he did it to keep you safe, you know? So you wouldn’t leave Jackson’s safety and run after Joel. You could have died. Sarah’s death would have broken you, like it broke him, and you should be thankful that…” 
You tuned her out after a while. It was getting tiring coming up with rude adjectives to describe how wrong she was in your head. There was no fight left in you to even protest, so you just left the room while she was talking. You loved her, but there were days you thought she just enjoyed hearing herself talk. Which she was extremely welcome to do, but with the acknowledgement that you would rather walk into a bloaters' den unarmed than sit through it.
Tommy had lied to you, kept the truth about your family from you, and no matter how many ways he spun it, it wouldn’t change the fact that when your first fucking words to him were asking about Joel and Sarah, he had looked you in the eyes and lied through his goddamn teeth when he said he didn’t know. He could go crying to Maria all he liked. You’d need a while not to recoil with disgust every time you saw him no matter how many times you got told to stop acting like a child. When Tommy realised the extent of your anger, he attempted to remedy it by telling you everything. Sarah getting shot on outbreak day - you still winced when he said it- and Joel’s time in the QZ, with a woman called Tess. You didn’t even know what to make of that. You probably couldn’t unpack your feelings about it if you tried. How he found the girl you’d gotten alarmed by - the job he got, how he took her in, how he lied to her and why she won’t look at him now. 
You didn’t even bother forming opinions about any of it, let alone voice any. Thinking was futile; your thoughts or ideas or opinions or offense wouldn’t change anything, would they? You continued the same monotonous routine you had established for the past year or so since you arrived to Jackson, this time with even fewer occasions of leaving the house for a party or drink. 
The shop and your bedroom became your life, the only people you spoke to were those looking for books. You’d collected them for years in the hope that if the outbreak ever got under control, there would be literature somewhere for humanity to remember what it used to be. Or perhaps a relic, serving as a legacy for a species long gone. Something, just to yell at the world and all those to come after, that you were here, even when you weren’t really. You hadn’t quite been here since the day the world had ended. Since the day you had lost everything. And now, twelve years later, all of it just came crashing back. 
The pain was as if someone had crawled into your flesh, peeled your ribs back, and plucked your heart out.
Sarah had become less of a person and more of a concept to you over time. The intangibility that very literally gave you strength when you lay bruised and beaten, held down and overlooked by snarling strangers. She had been your salvation; your everything. Losing her wasn’t something you had truly came back from the first time around, suppressed guilt and fear and worry gnawing at the back of your mind. The reappearance of all of it, overshadowed this time by crippling guilt, was a cruel albeit welcome one. You wanted to feel bad - because much like Joel, it was what you deserved. You had failed - not only as a mother but as a wife, too. You should have just gone home on time that fucking night, but life got in the way as if often used to back then. All those little things that got blown out of proportion like work and deadlines and projects and careers didn’t even matter now. You should have come home. You should have been there.
You didn’t even want to imagine how Joel felt. To you, the ache was a phantom limb - trailing you wherever you went, interwoven with your shadow. To him, it was a stain on his hands that he never seemed to be able to rub out; he could always see a tinge of crimson coating his fingers, ever since that night.
Neither of you could look the other in the eye anymore. 
Yet, even after all of it life simply went on, stuttering but still relentless in its proceedings. Pink, jagged scars marred the flesh of time as it stretched around the metalwork of the lives you had fought to keep, yet lost the worth of anyways. Fate is seldom kind.
It wasn’t too peculiar, this distance. Ironically, even after all these years, you both understood the other perfectly - as if each thought either of you had, each feeling you felt, was respected and loved and relayed by the refuge of your marriage, still. You understood that he was too ashamed by his self-proclaimed failure to speak to you, and he understood that the loss had so wholly devoured you that you wouldn’t have the strength to look in his eyes and be reminded of hers for a while.
The song and dance continued, the delicate persuasion of ensuring not to jolt the fragile existences the other had created for themselves. Joel didn’t come near your bookshop, and you didn’t go near Tommy, lest the words ‘family dinner’ be spoken into existence. Truly, he was idiot enough to suggest it. As if all that your currently brilliant (more like fractured) relationship with your husband (was he still? what about tess?) needed was a dinner with his brother, his sister in law, and the kid he had apparently adopted, lied to, and was now in a rough spot with. Gotta love reunions, no?
In another life, you would have stepped in. You would have spoken to either of them - perhaps even made more of an effort to include Ellie in your own life to ensure that after all she had been through, she wouldn’t feel alone even when she wasn’t doing well with Joel. In this life, though, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Joel acted like a selfish, moronic liar, sure. But if this kid couldn’t see, that at his very core, he was just plain scared - that he practically shook in his (adorable) cowboy boots anytime someone mentioned what happened to Ellie - then, great, she deserved Joel not realising that it was her decision to save humanity; to pay the price, to do what it took; entirely independent of him, or anyone else. You tamped down on the cynical part of you sneering at the romantic heroism of it all. The world knew now, better than before, how selfish man was. How utterly human, for Joel to struggle to separate his feelings for his own daughter and the one he had taken in; for Ellie to be too caught up in her own view to even consider what Joel was going through. It was almost like one of those plays you used to enjoy reading - like a Greek tragedy. The hamartia of both heroes was humanity alone.
They’d come around, eventually. Joel and Sarah always did, too. 
The irony lay mostly in the fact that you had spent a decade craving him - his comfort and his warmth. The kneading of his large hands on your back after a long day; the scratch of his stubble when he nuzzled into your neck from behind. The years you didn’t have him were spent with only him in mind; a mindless worship of the love you had. Now that he was within reach; close enough to grasp and curl your fingers around, to sink an burrow into; you were… lost. The desperation; the wild frenzy with which you had remembered only them through the years - to have lost one now leaves you clueless about what to do with the other. The cracks that have made their way into your heart - the ones tainting your soul - you see them reflected in him, too. Your first look into his dark eyes told you that he, too, has done too much to be standing here today; that his first kill, too, had been the man he once was. No wonder you can’t bear to look at each other anymore. The grief - not only of what you have both lost, or what you once had, but the grief of who you both used to be - rears its ugly head in any room you find yourselves in together. Look at me, it screams. Look at what the years have done to me. I can’t recognise myself in mirrors anymore. I don’t see who I used to be. I was so beautiful. I was so good. Look at me. Look at me. Look-
Is this how the angels felt when they fell? You’d never know - there were no angels; there was no God. What divinity would allow for any of this to happen? This joke, this mockery of nature. You never were religious, but fumbled prayers had found their way into your vocabulary every night when you didn’t know where Joel and Sarah were. You - who had never even stepped into a church had prayed.
You must have forgotten there was nobody sitting in the sky to listen.
You had made your peace with the mutual decision to avoid him and the girl - not only because you didn’t even know how to start apologizing to her-but because you were content with the mere knowledge that he was here, that he was alive and breathing.
Tommy’s guilt worked in your favor, ensuring that he didn’t try pairing you and Joel up for patrols - likely fearful of the fallout that might occur (but like, what could even happen? another apocalypse?) but the comedown of that meant that you were paired up with Fred, instead. A man who infuriated you to no end, one who found it extremely interesting that you were once married, that you have a child. Had.
His ceaseless questions made you want to rip your hair out, but you refrained - if only so he wouldn’t have another reason to put his arms around you to try ‘calming’ you like last time. He was a bastard, but you didn’t have it in you to challenge him just yet.
Your answers to his enquiries were grunted or simply monosyllabic, your irritation clear as day in the set of your jaw, the slant of your brow. Nevertheless, like the dumbfuck he was, he persisted. So then how was this your fault?
It had been a decent morning. You’d gotten up early in time for the patrol, taken a shower, drank some water and arrived at the stables. But as you stood outside, you could hear the commotion of people inside - boisterous cheering and laughing as if one would hear in a pub. Interest piqued, you inched your way to the entrance of the barn silently, trying to understand what was going on. 
“…fuckin’ whore’s been leading me on for like half a year, turned out she was married the whole time. Dodged a bullet, though. Nearly lost her shit when he told her that her kid died. Went completely apeshit and ruined my goddamn shirt with her snot- nearly clawed through my arm, too. Feel bad for the poor husband, had to yell at everyone to get out just so he could calm her crazy ass down. Everyone’s lost someone, lady. Get over it, right? Plus, girl that age wouldn’t have done too well at a QZ, know what I mean? Wouldn’t have gone untouched, anyways.” He paused for them all to laugh at the supposed comedic gold in his words - him and his little pack of primitives - and all you could do was stand there, glued to the spot in shock.
The fucking audacity. Leading him on? You fucking tried your best to get him to stop talking to you, stop touching you - and you didn’t claw at his arm because you were crazy, you did it because you were fucking panicking and some idiot was making it worse by caging you in. And that was brushing aside what he said about Sarah. No, that had you seeing red, chest heaving.
Fuck, the old you would have broken his nose on the first day. Never is too late to do the right thing, is it? 
Just like before, a laugh was forming in your chest. A giggle at first, before you were chuckling, clapping a hand to your mouth and horrified with your own humour. The joke here was priceless, though. See - the world had ended, God was dead, and you were worried about being lightly reprimanded? Fuck that, and fuck him. You hadn’t let yourself feel fear out there. You hadn’t let yourself feel despair, and you sure as hell hadn’t let yourself feel hope. Joel’s arrival forced you to confront all the pain you had ignored. This cunt of a man was managing to unearth all the anger you had neglected, too. His fucking funeral.
Your tongue sat agitated against your teeth in anticipation, waiting to give way to the venom lacing the words in your brain. 
Fury sparked in your blood, washing away all your hesitation. Fragmented, she etched herself into the ring of black that blew out your pupils; the unfaltering thumping of your heart in your chest. The threads of your fate were now in her slender, silhouetted hands, and all that was left for you to do was obey. Not that you had a choice. 
Before you could so much as blink, you had burst into the crowd. Fred’s eyes widened at the wild snarl on your face, begging and apologizing.
He was unaware, though, of just how sick you had become of apologies. Tommy’s apologies, Joel’s apologies, Maria’s shitty ones, and then the sympathetic apologies you’d been getting from customers because apparently word of Sarah and her role in your life had spread like wildfire throughout Jackson. Joel wouldn’t have shared it, nor would Tommy- not when he knew you were two seconds away from breaking his nose just weeks ago. That left the kid Joel bought-Ellie-or Fred. And something just told you it wasn’t the girl. You’d trust Joel’s judgement blindly any day.
His empty sorrys fell upon deaf ears, his trembling voice cracking as he repeated them over and over.
You grinned, baring your teeth.
“Hello, Fred. Hello, everyone. Having a party and I wasn’t even invited?” You pouted mockingly. “Y’ know what I personally think is absolutely, knee-slappingly hilarious?” You paused, watching their curiosity grow as they fell hook, line and sinker for the cheerful façade, furrowing ther brows in question and stepping in closer. “How untouched you look, asshat.” Your grin dropped just as you rocked back on your heels, surging forward within a split second while throwing all your weight into your fist. 
Just as it collided with the asshat's jaw.
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“What the fuck were you thinking? You’ve been…frazzled since Joel came back, fine, but I cannot excuse your behaviour just because I know you or because you’re family. This was absolutely out of line, is that clear?” Maria stopped her pacing to turn to you, expecting a justification or an apology. You offered neither. When you refused to so much as look up from your split knuckles, she threw her hands up, huffing at her husband, who was leaning against the table sheepishly while wincing every time her voice rose as she yelled at you. 
The door swung open and Joel practically stumbled in, eyes searching wildly until they landed on you curled up on a chair with your hands in your lap. Did news seriously spread that fast, even now? Guess people don’t have much to do when the world has ended.
“Look- I know, I know you went through a lot. At first, you were spacey and Tommy told me to just leave it alone. Then, you got the bookshop and you just spent all your time there or on patrols, never even trying to integrate yourself here, and I’ve let it go because he-“ a finger in Tommy’s direction, “-begged me to. Let go of your little…tantrum with Ellie, too. I watched Tommy mope around and I said nothing even when you refused to accept that he hadn’t told you about Joel, for your own good.” Tommy flinched, but she went on. “I just can’t do it this time. You broke Fred’s jaw, you know? He is a contributing, well-liked citizen in Jackson. Not a recluse. I didn’t believe you’d done it until I saw the state of your hand. You’re always so quie-just-just give me one fucking reason you would punch him.” She was panting by the end, her chest falling rapidly under the weight of her own tirade. 
Joel had planted himself directly between you and Maria, as if trying to protect you from the onslaught of her words. He looked more apologetic than you did, hands extending towards her while he took a deep breath, attempting to placate her. 
“Maria-now just wait a damn minute, she wouldn’t-“ 
Was he defending you? When had that happened? When had you become this-this blubbering, weak version of yourself that Joel had to protect? 
The cold, unforgiving numbness loosened its grip; fear, guilt but most strongly, shame coiling in your gut. Maria was right, in her own fucked up way. You had retreated so far back into yourself that all that was left within your grasp now was mere tendrils of who you used to be. 
Sarah would have been proud of me for punching the bastard, though. 
The thought rang in your mind as you raised your head, squared your shoulders. Took the stutter out of your voice, and looked Maria right in the eyes. 
“Your contributing, well-liked citizen said Sarah was lucky to die. That she wouldn’t have gone untouched in a QZ. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. And thanks to how well liked he is, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that he’s been touching me for months. That he took advantage of the fact that I was too fucking broken to say anything, to anyone. It’s not like you would’ve believed me.” You watched both Millers’ faces harden, brows furrowing as fury began sinking her talons in their flesh. Joel looked murderous, jaw set at that angle you knew meant he was livid. Good. You had been, too. Tommy looked shocked, anger painting his features, and his wife just looked terrified, eyes darting from you to Joel, wide and panicked. It made you smile at her, the curl of your mouth dripping with condescension and mockery. 
“Maria, I’m so sorry you’ve had to overlook this many…grievances, let’s call them. I’ll work on my attitude here, I promise. I’ll go to book club and gossip about my husband and my dead daughter. I’ll do my hair and cut my nails and smile at people who don’t fucking deserve it. Hell, I’ll even forgive Tommy.” You pause, nodding at him, watching the relief in his eyes. Smile dropping, you meet Maria’s gaze again. 
“But here’s what I won’t do- I won’t stand in a room with that asshole again without breaking all the other bones in his body. I won’t stay quiet next time his hands are on me - I’ll snap his fucking neck. Anyone else with anything else to say about Sarah - even if it’s just goddamn condolences - will find themselves in a similar predicament. Is that clear?” She blinked at you, mouth wide open at the radical transformation in you as you spoke, taking so long to nod that you doubted she’d heard you at first. You didn’t blame her - you’d folded in on yourself, made yourself small these past few years. Become meek: looking at the floor, wringing your hands; doing absolutely anything to avoid confrontation or issue. You’d been too tired to fight or stand on your own two feet, and everyone had focused on the wobble in your voice; the wet lining in your eyes; the shake of your hands, and just decided that just because you chose not to challenge them, you weren’t capable of it. Fuck that. 
Joel’s eyes shone as he looked at you, chin dipping in acknowledgment as he, too, had a stunned look on his face. You just shrugged back at him, swinging your legs and getting up, walking out of the house without so much as a glance over your shoulder. 
The flame that had forged your spirit - the fire burning in your veins, the one snuffed out long ago - flickered back to life. Dim,  shaky, practically translucent - but ignited. 
And fuck, it felt good to be back. 
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hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @imherefordeanandbones, @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore, @breakfastatjoels, @millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis, @pawnshopb1ues. dividers by me! series taglist (same rule: message/comment to be added or removed, no hard feelings): @spookyxsam, @obscurexsorrows, @planet-marz1, @lunxramour, @anavatazes, @joeldjarin, @stunkbiggu, @joels-darlin, @casa-boiardi, @noisynightmarepoetry, @chiogarza, @jasminedragoon, @daddy-din, @moonlightdivine, @stickthegremlin, @jamesmasbone, @avampiregf, @amanitacowboy
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shadowdaddies · 7 months
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I love your writing so so so much!! If you’re taking requests, can I please request a modern Cassian x reader where they were dating but broke up for whatever reason? Maybe something where they’re still very much in love but it’s obvious to literally everyone except for them so there’s just a heap of built up sexual tension and teasing/flirting and everyone’s like guys come on!
Hey lovey, thank you so much! This came out more fluffy than I'd anticipated but I can't help it, I'm a romantic. This is my first modern au so I hope I do it justice. Thanks for the request💜
It's Never Over
Cassian x Reader Fluff
Warnings: drinking, they play truth or strip but there's nothing saucy happening
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Your breakup with Cassian was the worst of your life. It was more painful than any other, because he didn’t hurt you. There was no solace in the fact that you were better off without him, because you weren’t. The two of you were tired of disagreements and different goals for your lives, so you decided that you would be better off as friends. 
You’d broken up two years ago now, but Cass remained one of your best friends. He was your shoulder to cry on, the one person who could always make you laugh. But you’d made your decision, you were just friends. 
~~~
It was Cassian’s birthday, and you and Feyre were unloading the decorations and supplies from your car to prepare your apartment for the surprise party you’d planned for him. “Remind me again why Cassian’s girlfriend isn’t the one planning this party?” Feyre questioned you. Knowing where she was going with this, you sighed. “We’re good friends, Fey. They haven’t been dating long, so I wouldn’t expect her to plan a party for him. I texted her to invite her but I didn’t get a response so I’m guessing she has something of her own planned.” Feyre just gave you a noncommittal hum as she unbagged the decorations and set to work. 
You were prepping the food in the kitchen when the door opened. You didn’t need to turn around to see who it was, because you heard Az’s frustrated groan as he made his way into the living room to Feyre. He called at you, “what were you thinking letting Feyre decorate? For an artist, your decorating skills are shit, Fey.” Feyre lightly hit him in the arm, laughing as she sipped her drink and watched Azriel “fix” the decorations she’d put up.
Feyre’s husband Rhys arrived soon with the cake, and other friends filed in. You got Cassian’s message on your phone letting you know he was arriving at your apartment to pick you up for what he thought was just a small birthday dinner. Everyone took their places in hiding, and when Cassian strolled through your front door, everyone yelled out “SURPRISE!” 
Your friend Mor arrived late, running up to you and Cassian, yelling “mom and dad!” (as you two had come to be known among your friends) as she grouped you both into a hug before heading for the drinks table. The party got increasingly rowdy throughout the evening, and hours later you were sitting around the living room with Feyre, Mor, Rhys, Az, and Cassian playing truth or strip. Mor gave Cassian a sly look as she asked him what special plans he had to celebrate with his girlfriend. He turned bright red, fumbling for an answer and in that moment, your heart beat so hard you thought it would explode. You were happy for Cassian, he was your friend and deserved a great birthday, so why were you sweating at the thought of his girlfriend? Feyre piped in just then, “I must have missed her coming by tonight. I didn’t see her.” Cassian took a deep breath, “she broke up with me yesterday.” Mor, nosey as ever, pushed Cass further asking why. You moved to pinch her as a silent warning, but Cassian glanced where you sat beside him and you froze. “Cass, did I do something?” you asked nervously. No matter what your past was with him or how you felt thinking about him with her, you would never want to hurt him by coming between them. 
Cassian glanced back towards the group before grabbing your hand to lead you outside. You didn’t miss Az’s smirk and wink at you as you followed Cass. “Sweetheart, you didn’t do anything wrong. She broke up with me because she can tell I still have feelings for you. I didn’t even realize it until she gave me an ultimatum: she wanted me to cut you out of my life, or she would end things with me. And I didn’t hesitate to break up with her. I would never choose another woman over you. You’re my best friend, and the reason I am excited to get out of bed in the mornings. I couldn’t be with her, I don’t think I could be with anyone as long as you’re in my life.”
Your head swam as you processed Cassian’s confession. Deep down, you knew you felt the same, but it was scary. “We broke up for a reason, Cass. We want different things, remember?”
Cassian brought his hands up to cup your face and whispered, “you are all I want. We can work together through any hardships. All I know is I want you by my side, through the hardships, through the lazy mornings, through the celebrations, I want it all.” 
Your eyes welled up with tears of joy as you leaned up to kiss him. The kiss was quickly interrupted by cheering noises, which you both turned to see your friends all watching you from the couch, Mor chanting “mom and dad” as they all toasted to you both, celebrating your enduring love for each other.
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shankschewtoy · 1 year
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idk if you’ve done this before but can you do either zoro or luffy finding out that their s/o is actually alive? like they watched them die and stuff and then a while later, they just come back like
a/n - I woke up at 3am today and I’m very motivated for some reason :) thank you for this request anon!
Warnings ⚠️ - angst, g/n reader
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You had died a while ago, and Zoro still hasn’t recovered from it. Your death was… Enough to break the unbreakable man. Everyone in the strawhat crew knew how much you meant to him, he would die for you.
He still had little pictures of you laying around, little things to remember you by. It was sad, feeling how the bed you two shared was now one for only him. How when he trained, you weren’t hanging out with him. You didn’t save him from the pervert cook ever again… Nor did you help him deal with Luffy’s recklessness.
it was so… empty with you not there anymore. As if his life wasn’t complete. He was with his best friends for life, on his way to fulfill his dreams, and help his captain fulfill his. It was everything he could’ve wished for. Except you. You weren’t there anymore.
On the next island, zoro reluctantly came along with Nami and Robin to help with the supplies shopping. They thought it would be good for him to get out of the ship for a little while. He walked, his head hanging low, his hand perched on the hilt of his katana in case anyone dared to attack him.
Suddenly he heard a familiar voice, he could’ve sworn it was yours. How could he ever forget it? Your tone that always brought comfort to him, whenever you spoke, it put him at ease, no matter what you were talking about. He looked up to see a hooded figure speaking with a merchant, negotiating a price.
His body moved for him, walking towards the person quickly, taking off their hood and staring at them to see if it was you or not.
It wasn’t.
“What the hell man?! What’s your problem?!” The man yelled at him angrily, swatting his hands away. Zoro sighed heavily, great, now he was hearing things.
“Zoro?!”
He looked up at the merchant. No fucking way. It was you.
He literally jumped over the stands of fruit and tackled you, wrapping his bulky arms around you so tightly you couldn’t even breathe. No, what are you thinking? He totally wasn’t crying!
“Y/n- where the hell were you? And how did you survive? I saw you-“
“Die? Yeah nope that didn’t happen. I’ve been waiting here for a while since I know you guys had planned on coming here.”
“You could’ve sent a letter dammit! And there’s things called den den mushis where a literal fucking snail can call me?!!”
He was mad, happy, sad, confused, but most of all? Relieved, to see you alive, safe, and in his arms again. “Sorry Zoro- but I’m too broke to afford one! I can barely pay for an apple in this expensive town!”
He chuckled a bit, kissing your cheek before leading you out of the stand. “Ahem?! My fruit?!” The hooded man asked before Zoro shot him the nastiest death glare he’d ever experienced. Anddd- that shut him up pretty quickly, sending him running away with fear.
“Come on, I bet everyone’s going to be excited to see you again.. don’t ever do that again or else I’m going to kill you.”
“Ok ok- sorry babe.”
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Luffy was never- truly the same after your passing. Watching you take that hit for him as you fell off the cliffs into the steep waterfalls. God he remembered it as if it was yesterday, it kept haunting him, following him, stalking his life.
He still smiled, had his rambunctious attitude, reckless behavior, and meat loving self. But whenever your name was brought up, he wasn’t smiling anymore, in fact, he never could find happiness in hearing about you anymore.
All he could think about was how he let you die. Just like he did with ace. Everyone knew, everyone saw the changes from his old self. They hoped that this new island would help cheer him up, since it had been known for its very delicious meat.
He obviously tagged along with Robin and Sanji to pick out the “best” meat. When he was standing around, struggling not to eat it before Sanji even got a change to cook it, he saw a glimpse of someone he used to know. They looked- just like you!
It took him not even a moment to start running towards the person, turning them around to see that it… it was you!
“Y/N!”
He tackled you down, his arms wrapping several times around you, his face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “LUFFY!”
Oh god you missed him so much- just to be able to hug him like this again was more than enough to bring life back into your heart again. “How are you here?! I thought you- fell off the cliffs?”
“I did, and Luffy. It wasn’t your fault ok? I’ve been wanting to tell you that for so long. Don’t blame yourself, I was the one that was too angry, and just attacked with no plan. I was the one that got myself almost killed ok? Not you.”
You kissed his forehead, you definitely knew Luffy had been blaming himself this entire time for your “death”. He grinned, peppering your face with his kisses, tickling your cheeks. “Sanji picked out some yummy meat, tonight we’re gonna have a feast!!!”
You smiled at him. Finally, you were home.
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a/n - this was adorable help
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You Know I feel like Rob Lucci snatched up Lizard in Water 7 by simply waiting for her to be alone and then taking her. Like before Robin boarded the train but after the reveal (that they were apart of CP9)
Like here's the thing she's not officially apart of the Straw hats (at the time) she's still considered to be apart of Baroque Works by proxy of her being the daughter of Crocodile. And so when Robin tries to argue for Lizard's freedom. Rob Lucci simply says "You said that the Strawhats were to be left alone. You never said anything about Crocodile's daughter. By the way until they reach Enies Lobby he only calls Lizard Crocodile's daughter after the reveal or little girl before the reveal. He doesn't refer to her as Lizard until she gets his respect when she throws her restrained self at Sandam and has to be physically dragged away from Spam face kicking and screaming demanding Spam's skull to beat him to death with his skull. Then he calls her Lizard and starts to become a platonic yandere for her and offers to pay for plastic surgery for her, so she can start fresh. Rob Lucci views Lizard as His cub that he must raise, nurture and mold into becoming the ideal assassin because as you said Lizard is cute which means that people won't see it coming
I got inspired and decided to write out the moment where Lucci officially becomes attached to her
Warning for acts of violence and a lot of blood mention. Also Spandam is here which is a warning in and of itself.
Lucci could not wait for Spandam to stop talking and dismiss them so he could leave and be doing literally anything else. Unfortunately, Spandam loved the sound of his own voice too much to ever be brief with his speeches, especially when he feels like he’s “accomplished” something. Not that he had any hand in the apprehending of the three individuals brought to Enies Lobby today.
Cutty Flam, or Franky as he called himself, had given them the most trouble, but even that was minimal. Nico Robin was easily coerced into cooperation with her newfound weakness with the Straw Hat Pirates. (Y/N), a former warlord’s daughter, had been the easiest. Not only did she not put up a fight, she boarded the train on her own once Kalifa confirmed that Nico Robin would also be there. The complete absence of fear had been intriguing. Lucci wasn’t sure if the child was truly fearless, or if she was simply intensely naive.
He’s sure that the answer will reveal itself soon enough.
While Nico Robin and Franky were actively arguing with Spandam, (Y/N) was just standing there and glowering at him. Her disdain for him was palpable as well as amusing. Understandable, too.
It appeared that Spandam had finally had enough of Robin’s protests, and decided to make it abundantly clear by punching her. The woman hit the floor hard and struggled to get back onto her feet. Lucci just rolled his eyes, he knew for a fact that the only reason Spandam was able to do this was because of the weakening effects of the sea prism stone handcuffs. If they were absent, she likely wouldn’t have even stumbled.
A flash of movement caught his eye. The once passive (Y/N) charged straight at Spandam. Since his back was to her, he didn’t get a chance to see her coming and only became aware of her when she rammed into him.
Spandam tripped over Robin and toppled onto the ground, slightly dazed. Before he could react, (Y/N) was on him. The teenager raised her foot and brought it down directly onto his face with a resounding crack. The impact most certainly broke his nose. 
She didn’t stop there, however, she kept going. (Y/N) was repeatedly stomping on his head with precise and consistent blows. These weren’t the random, desperate kicks of someone acting out of fear. No, this was nothing but concentrated fury. Her once neutral expression was contorted with rage as she cursed out the chief of CP9 with vitriol dripping from each word.
Everyone was watching this in a stunned silence. Robin had entirely stopped trying to get up and was staring at (Y/N) in horror, Franky was in a similar state. The rest of CP9 was gawking at the display, none of them had anticipated the abrupt turn in her behavior.
While this was all extremely entertaining, it did have to come to an end before Spandam did. Jabra sprung out of his chair and rushed over to the girl. His hands clamped onto her upper arms and lifted her up and away from her victim. This was not enough to deter her. (Y/N) flailed and tried her damnedest to kick Jabra, albeit unsuccessfully. 
“Quit! You’re just making this worse for yourself, kid,” Jabra tossed the teenager away from him. She rolled across the ground, but quickly got up and sprinted towards Spandam again. Jabra blocked her path, but that didn’t stop her from screaming at the crumpled form of the chief, “If you ever fucking touch Robin again I’ll fucking kill you, you piece of shit!”
Kumadori had abandoned his own chair to check on Spandam, who had now shifted onto his side and was violently coughing and hacking. Blood was gushing out of not only his broken nose but also his mouth. He spat onto the floor and one, two… Four teeth fell out. Oh wow, impressive. 
“Lucci! Keep that monster away from me!” Spandam clung onto Kumadori’s hair as he attempted to get to his feet, “I knew you were involved with your father’s business! You were probably his best assassin, you little psychopath!”
Lucci snorted at the thought. Nothing about her actions indicated that she was experienced. Though he would admit that he could see some potential. Lucci grabbed the chain that connected her handcuffs and pulled her back a few steps, she shot him a venomous glare over her shoulder, but otherwise cooperated. Her shoulders were heaving from how hard she was breathing, moreso out of anger rather than exercise if he had to guess.
Spandam had managed to get himself upright with help and was trying to wipe the blood from his face with a handkerchief. He slapped away Kumadori’s helping hand and stomped towards Lucci and (Y/N).
He leered at the girl, “You have no idea what you’ve done! In case you forgot, I’M IN CHARGE OF YOU NOW!” Flecks of blood sprayed out of his mouth and got on her face. Shockingly, she doesn’t flinch from it and keeps her face neutral. “I’m going to make whatever is left of your miserable little life absolute hell and kill you the second you’re no longer worth keeping alive!”
Lucci saw Spandam becoming increasingly aggravated from her giving him no reactions to feed off of. His scowl shifts into a smirk and he gets right in her face, “Or maybe I’ll take this out on Robin and make you watch as you’re powerless to do anything.”
There was a pause. And then she spat in his face.
A couple of the CP9 agents snickered. This was honestly the most entertaining thing they’ve been subjected to in their time under Spandam. Even Lucci felt a grin tug at his lips, this girl was proving herself to be more and more interesting by the second.
Spandam recoiled and aggressively wiped at his face, only to yelp in pain when he brushed against his broken nose like an idiot. His eyes zeroed back in on (Y/N) and he reeled his arm back, “You little bitch!”
His hand swung towards her to slap her across the face, but that’s not what happened. With an honestly impressive speed, her head snapped forward and her teeth sank into his hand. Spandam screamed and tried to shake the girl off, but she only bit down harder and snarled.
“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, GET HER OFF ME!” The screech was so loud that it made Lucci’s ears hurt, but he obliged. An order is an order after all. 
Lucci yanked her back by the handcuffs while Kumadori was pulling on Spandam. This girl was holding onto that hand for dear life, and it took some genuine effort to separate them, but with one final tug they were pulled apart.
This was accompanied by a snapping sound and even louder screaming from Spandam who was holding the bitten hand to his chest and doubled over. Kaku could be heard muttering out a ‘good lord’, and before Lucci could investigate to see what prompted such a reaction from a trained assassin, (Y/N) spit something out onto the floor. 
A couple of quiet thuds were heard, and when he looked down, two fingers were rolling across the floor with blood spurting out of them. The pinky and ring fingers to be exact.
“I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!” Never one to take accountability for his own stupid actions, Spandam was quick to direct his rage at Lucci.
“I did. But then you chose to approach her again,” it took everything Lucci had to keep from openly mocking him to his face.
“Boss, maybe we should get you some medical attention!” Kumadori was lightly pulling him towards the door, desperate to leave the situation before their moronic chief could possibly make it any worse.
Spandam was pulled out the main door and could be heard hurling obscenities from down the hall.
The room was dead silent and all of the eyes were on (Y/N). Robin and Franky were slack jawed, while the CP9 members appeared to be surprised but also mildly impressed. Not that she was paying them any mind. She was more focused on spitting out the blood in her mouth and trying to wipe off what remained using her shoulder.
Jabra strolled over and lightly nudged the disembodied fingers, “Damn, and you did all of that with your hands behind your back. I almost want to see what would happen if the cuffs came off.”
“Then do it.” She leveled him with a hard stare. Blood that wasn’t her own was smeared across the lower half of her face, “Uncuff me and see what happens.”
“No can do, kiddo. As much as everyone here might love to see that, we’ve got jobs to do.” Jabra flicked her forehead playfully and laughed when she tried to bite him, too. Lucky for him, she wasn’t quite fast enough to get him.
His eyes briefly flickered up to see Lucci’s face, and he cringed at the sight, “Hey kid, you might want to tone it down a bit.”
“Why?” Her response was snappy and sharp.
“Because I really don’t like the look on Lucci’s face right now and I’m pretty sure you’re the cause of it.”
She looked over her shoulder with an annoyed huff, but froze up once she made eye contact with the man holding her. A wide, malicious grin was plastered across his face as he leered down at the girl.
It was in that moment that Lucci knew he wanted this girl to live to see another day and not rot in prison. Letting someone with such a natural propensity for violence die now would be a horrendous waste. He knows that under the right supervision, this girl could be shaped into a damn good assassin, and he knows just the person that could train her.
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