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nejackdaw · 1 year

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1, 9, 20💕

Oh, someone actually asked alsnoanskw

✨ Ask Game ✨

Q1: Who was your first ever OC? Do you still "use" them? How have they evolved over time?

My first OC was Lancaster, who was just a dude I made in my head when I was like... 12? He wasn't made for anything, like a fandom, I just made him and then plopped him in a world so he could exist. He's like 8' tall, breathes fire, and he's a dragon knight (still peak design tbh. Dragons and knights are the coolest things ever.)

I honestly haven't done anything with him in YEARS. Like. Not a story blurb, not a sketch, nothing. For probably about... Five or six years now? I was still in high school lol. I have been thinking about drawing him again recently though! I used to draw him so. Much. I was going through old sketchbooks and he had some stuff in there, so why not?

Unfortunately, my memory is shot so I can't answer the last part very well! But I think that was kind of the point to him. He was a comfort character, so he evolved into whatever I needed. (I did scrap the dragon transformation bit though, lol. I remember that.) He went from a concept, to a feral, unhinged little guy, to more of a commander figure who's got his head on but can't stop looking at humans as snacks. Idk. He was important to me and got me through a lot, and I talked my friends ears off about him.

Q9: Favorite OC?

Uh, well. I've only got the one lmao. I've got DnD characters and Skyrim characters and other things, but those are specifically made for that media to be played as, so I don't fully count them as original. Probably not how that works! But like. The comparison is Lancaster, who's entirely original. So, excluding media-made characters, Lancaster by default, but if we do include everyone else: Moore, lmao, hands down.

He was a homebrew warlock (nothing OP, mostly very situational flavor abilities tbh) for the last DnD campaign I was in. It fizzled out--a chunk of the group left for personal reasons, someone else's character died and I don't think they got back into it, the DM wasn't happy with the work they'd done on it, etc etc--but we still had a great time while it was going on. He was, against his will, the life of the party. I want you to think of the most grudging, scowling, disapproving little antisocial alcoholic possible and then slap an unexpected redemption arc on him. He's like a shadow realm mom friend. Emotionally stunted except through necessity he's come to care at least about your general well-being and he'll yell at you about it.

Rambles. Rambles. If you get him going he won't shut up, and it eventually devolves into something nonsensical. The party LOVED IT when he got going just because of the lens he saw events through. Looks through a magic door and gets shot into some airless void full of demons trying to eat his soul? Nearly dies? Angrily rants at the local witch about how a bunch of ghosts were having a go like he's a buffet! Does he look like a five course meal to you? Ghosts! GHOSTS! He's sick and tired of ghosts! (The party was, at this point, unaware of the ghost inhabiting him, so this was out of left field.) He was so fun and somehow, I repeat, somehow, ended up being the voice of reason. Yeah. The disillusioned, grumpy, drunk little ghost guy who's got a problem with everything ended up being the logical one. (Yeah that was partially the ghost in his brain giving him magical powers and keeping him on track but like. Between a cannibal, Han Solo, a puddle, a skittish wild magic sorc, if Klee was in DnD, and an AA absentee, it's a miracle.)

One of my favorite moments that will live with me forever and was immortalized in a little drawing is the aforementioned cannibal (a blood hunter we met under unfortunate circumstances who needed blood to use his features and happened to be a shifter with big teef) cautiously warning against trusting the wizard we'd met because he doesn't trust magic users. Moore nodded, casually said he wouldn't trust himself either, and kept eating. The shifter, a little quieter, looked at him and said he trusts him. There was all of two seconds of silence before Moore started complaining that his dumbass decisions were rubbing off on everyone and they were all gonna die soon because no one here has a brain. (Yeah they ended up being gay together aodboana)

Q20: What story are you proudest of? Why?

(Side eyes my Google docs) UHHHHHHH

You know I was gonna go and sort through everything but that's, um, work. (Insert Hilda Goneril portrait.) So just off of "I actually remember writing it" I'm gonna have to go with what I've termed the Vampire Tyrik Fic. I wrote it like a year ago and at the time? Peak. I peaked. It is, naturally, an angst piece. It just is that's how I roll. But I got a lot of characterization in there and at the time it was genuinely, outside of academic work, the best I've ever done. Unfortunately now my writing has progressed to the point where I look at it and go "damn bitch, you write like that?" Anyway it was about the aftermath of my Dragonborn (Tyr) being turned into a vampire to enter the Soul Cairn and then being mortified he did it and coping with the morality of it. Erik was there. This was my Erik file. I like to choose a different follower per file to share the love but like. They're married. This was childhood friends to lovers + angst + emotional h/c. It will never see the light of day again. It's been buried respectfully.

Anyway, uh, I got a little jumpscared by someone actually asking, but it was nice! Ty anon 🌹

#ask game #for the record bread is very excited for lancasters pending return lol #and i love. i loooooove moore hes such a little bastard #uh s/o to the tyrik fic itll live forever in my heart #like tyrs untouched file lives on in skyrim. he killed alduin and promptly retired with erik to lakeview

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chemicalcarousel · 2 years

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spontaneous, messy rant about my plurality and some other things idk idr

gonna do a read more bc this is semi long and i dont want to fill up someone's dashboard

bruh i have so much to learn from our headmate lee, he's just a kid vibin by himself with minecraft - living his best life. im so happy he seems to be doing well but ofc maybe im ignorant since my "connection" to him is very limited. sometimes i can sense him (especially looking at minecraft or pictures he feels look like him) and he did front once or twice i think? it was a surprise, none of the other headmates seemed to know he was there. i think we have all been incredibly separated somehow. there are probably more headmates in this system (again, i suspect a teen girl to be a part of our system)

this is all so new and im afraid to speak to other people about it. im afraid to be fakeclaimed by everyone. or people avoiding me& or treating me and my fellow headmates weirdly or even like.... in a horrible way. i want to still be open to the possibility that this isn't plurality and my therapist and i are wrong, but ngl the incredible stigma will make it hard to know if it's plurality, even speaking to psychiatrists and psychologists. i wasn't believed to be bipolar by so many doctors and psychologists. they dont take me seriously since i mask and dissociate from trauma, so i seem "unaffected" when i talk about it (until a trauma holder syskid switches out and they are like *surprised pikachu*)

this ended up as a rant. ig i need to let it out somewhere since i have nobody irl to talk to (im gonna stop therapy since me& didnt feel any improvement happening after 1.5 years. sometimes she left us feeling even worse. she was a free therapist from the psych clinic and we dont have money to get one we pay for that would be a specialist in complex childhood trauma. also waiting times for a specialist might be idk more than 2 years. definitely more i think)

anyway, my shit working memory is acting up after writing a longer post and idk what im talking about anymore lmao this is just a stream of consciousness or whatever the right term would be. a rant lol. gonna stop because im getting a headache and i cant concentrate. yet another problem we are dealing with that they just decided to stop treating since our blood pressure got high af on the adhd meds we got and that one type also didnt seem to help or maybe they did since i wasnt sure if i was just having some good days since sometimes the didnt work or whatever

fuck stopping mid rant no. 2 since i uhhh was supposed to shut up and rest this rotten brain. sleepy brain. needs to shut down for a while

hope yall doing ok or managing at least. sending vibes 💖

~ sof (she/he/they)

#yo its sof #ours

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goddessjynx · 3 years

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Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

#send help #please reblog #mental health #parents #mother #father #moms #family #reblog #important #self care #self love #self help #self esteem #self healing #my story

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djmarinizelablog · 2 years

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Inspired by this fanart

LH high school au where LH have been dating since middle school, yet aren't as lovey dovey as typical couples. They rather act, most of the time, like an old married couple (since they bicker a lot and sometimes they even got physical, tho playfully lol). They just got together spontaneously one day that any 3rd person won't really notice any changes.

When they got in high school, neither of them admit their relationship openly nor they are bothered to make efforts on hiding it. All their friends knew (mostly the vets) that they're only childhood best friends and are really really close like siblings🥴

And since the vets never knew LH's real relationship status but have noticed them subtle pinning (and the occasional jealousy—mostly levi lol), they had decided to play cupid and make LH "realize" their romantic feelings for one another

And then one day, nanaba (who had been so tired of their pinning asses and playing cupid) exasperately blurting to hange (who had been ranting something about what levi did or whatever),

"Why can't you just confess to him and be together already???”

Hange be lookin at her confusely, "Who says we aren't???”

ps: Idk if there's already a fic that has been written with a similar prompt tho i haven't encountered one at least (since im new to the fandome hehe) please recommend some LH high school aus too😁

Hi Anon, can I just redirect you to SOS? What you mentioned is pretty much the premise of the entire fic :))

Also, let me just promote @aimenkun's art here since you linked to it anyway hehe. Check out the art on Twitter as well!

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 10 of SOS to get you started:

Nobody talks for a while as they indulge themselves with all the turkey. The others are already getting a second round, having already forgotten all their worries just a few minutes back. However, Levi and Hange continue their death-staring at each other while the rest are eating.

From the way Hange’s giving him the deadly stare, he can already imagine a scene where Hange is oh-so ready to tackle him to the ground as if they’re in a wrestling match, with Mike and Nanaba making bets, Erwin frowning, the freshmen trio worried, while Kenny's in the background offering them knives.

This is not going to work. Not with all this unnecessary distraction right now. It's now Levi's turn to deeply sigh.

But Kenny catches it and chuckles. "Well, this is new. Usually it's me and you doing the death-staring contest. What did you do this time, shorty?”

Levi lazily points his fork at Hange. “She started it.”

“M-me?” Hange stammers, almost choking on her potato. “Excuse me? What in the world did I even do wrong to you?”

Levi is pushing the potato absentmindedly on his plate. This is his pride talking. Something sinks deep inside him. He grits his teeth, unable to think of a comeback.

"I will apologize on behalf of my nephew," Kenny starts. "Sometimes he's just too proud to admit that he cares. His huge ego is compensating for his height. Isn’t that right?”

All his friends nod in agreement, slowly.

There is no winning here. Levi puts down his fork on the plate and huffs. He scans the room once more, feeling the tension, and starts, "I guess, there are some times... when I tend to be, uh… a little bit grouchy."

"You guess?"

"Some times?"

"A little bit?"

Mike, Nanaba, and Erwin have chimed in unison.

He shoots his three blond friends a dirty look. "Oi, I'm trying to make an apology here."

Across the table, Hange is just sitting, her arms folded in front of her chest. "Well? Go on."

Needless to say, she is still not impressed.

Why can't he just let it go? What is he so desperately trying to prove? Is he even holding onto something? Or is he just afraid of letting go and taking a big leap of faith? Will Hange even forgive him? Can they still be friends? All these thoughts come crashing down his brain.

Levi starts again. "I just, I can't… I don't… shit, you are so… and I'm, fuck, where do I begin…"

Hange is dumbfounded.

"Is he even speaking in English?" Mike asks.

#levihan #attack on titan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #aot #snk #captain levi #levi attack on titan #hanji zoe #shingeki no kyojin #fanfics #ask #open #djmarinizela

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fratboykate · 2 years

Note

For a few days now I have e been thinking about your most recent Disney is evil rant and how you always seem to think of the Disney machine as "Disney-Marvel", and don't get me wrong, those two are wholy linked; but that's not why Disney has had the market penetration it has. While yes, many of the millennials who got the Disney subscription paid for it because they wanted that sweet superhero juice injected right into their brains and that's about as much disposable income we have for anything remotely fun (85% of us are broke af), but the bulk of Disney subscriptions is made of older peeps with children paying for a service that offers the nostalgia films of their childhood and new ones without the risk of radicalizing their childrens while they cook/clean/work from home (hey! YouTube algorithm). So what I am saying here is that even if you get our broke asses to stop giving the 10$/month (I think?? I have been too broke for a while now to pay for any streaming services) to Disney, you will make zero dent in their income because the old peeps are the ones paying for that stuff and they skew mostly conservative.

This is uhm.......factually fucking incorrect LOL

Why does everyone seem to think Millenials are still like 12? Let's see how old each generation is at this point:

WW II: 95 – 100

Post War: 77 – 94

Boomers: 58 – 76

Gen X: 42 – 57

Millennials: 26 – 41

Gen Z: 10 – 25

Gen Alpha: 9 and under

A lot of Millennials deadass have kids in high school or in college lol. Disney's huge moneymaker right now isn't the "nostalgia" films. The way Disney really makes their big checks is Marvel, the SW franchises, and every other massive franchise they launch. You know who isn't watching those franchises? Boomers and Gen X. You know who is making Marvel and all of those other franchises billion-dollar enterprises? Millennials and Gen Z. That isn't "Old People". That's a proven fact. That's not who Disney's target audience is. "Old People" is NO ONE's target audience. Do you not understand that the key demographic for EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, FOR EVERYTHING is 18-34?

The BULK of the Disney+ subscriptions is being driven by all of the Marvel and SW series. Disney themselves have admitted it. You know who is paying for those subscriptions and watching those shows? Not "Old People". That's Millennials and Gen Z.

I just find it fucking funny that the same group of people who love to stomp their chests claiming to be SO PROGRESSIVE and SO PRO-LGBT is out there throwing money at a company who after being reamed over the weekend for supporting every homophobic politician in existence doubled down today with one of the most absolutely batshit crazy fucking statement I've ever seen in my life:

Bob Chapek is Disney's CEO by the way. He for real was like "Disney can't do anything...but like...subscribe to Disney+ tho. That will help us change the world ;] (It's not like we make any gay content anyway because we can't piss off the right...and we're also homophobic. But subscribe anyway! We'll use that money to keep supporting every politician that drafts up the most hateful bills intended to take all your rights away!)"

But, idk, keep making excuses so y'all can continue watching your superhero bullshit or whatever. It confirms how big of a hypocrite everyone is.

#disney #marvel #twitter #rants #anonymous #answers

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yungbud · 3 years

Text

Silent Treatment+X

Req? Yes! @madonnasinn said: Can you write a smut about Dom ignoring y/n over a petty fight they had a few days ago, and y/n parades in a very tiny skirt around him when they go out to have dinner with his friends (to get his attention). He then gets really mad because all the guys keep eyeing her, which she knows he hates so she tempts him and fuck in the restaurant bathroom 🤭 just a lil idea i had LOL

Word Count: 2.4K

Tw:Light choking, semi-public sex acts, a little bit of thigh spanking/smacking, idk smut obviously.

A/N: Feast

—

You sat in the kitchen with Dom. Well, Dom sat, you stood, washing the dishes as he talked to you about how the album was going.

“I’ve just been so stressed for the past three fookin weeks trying to get this done. I just want it to be perfect, you know? And I keep wanting to go back and tweak it but Gav tells me not to.” Dom ranted, absentmindedly picking at his nailpolish while he did.

You reached for the knob of the faucet, turning the water on to rinse off the dish in your hand, accidentally turning it too high and ending up being splashed with water, soaking the bottom half of your shirt.

That reminded you, tomorrow you had to do the laundry, then clean Dom and your shared room, then you’d have to shower– No, that wouldn’t work. You’d have to shower then do laundry before you leave, or else you’d end up being late for your appointment.

God, these last few weeks had just been so stressful. You felt like you barely had a chance to breathe, you’d finish one thing and up would pop the next. Oh, and you couldn’t forget lunch right after your appointment. You hoped there wouldn’t be traffic, you can’t be late because (Y/B/F) would only be visiting you on their lunch break, they’d have to go back to work straight after.

Who were you kidding, it’s LA, of course there’d be traffic.

Should you reschedule? You were both so busy as is and this was the one time your schedules had allowed you to meet up in what must’ve been months.

Shit, you thought, how long had it been? You began replaying the last few months in your head as you absentmindedly scrubbed at the plate in hand.

“And you’re not even listening.” Dom pouted.

“No, no I am. That’s great sweetie.”

“What’d I just say.” He tests, looking at you, his raised brow doing very little to hide the fact that he’s annoyed.

“You were talking about the uh- The uhm,” You paused, mustering all your brain cells to remember what he had just been talking about. The towel squished between your hand and the counter as you leaned against the sink, your fingers coming up to stroke the bridge of your nose as you thought “The drums, you just finished the last of it, right?”

The oven dinged, signalling the food needed tending too. Your mind flipped as you searched the kitchen for the oven mit.

Where could you have possibly put it if not right next to the oven where you could’ve sworn you left it. You spun, searching the other counters, even going as far as to look in the sink before realizing it had slid to the floor right below where you put it. Sighing, you leaned down to grab it, pulling open the oven to tend to tonight’s dinner.

“Uh, what else happened today?” You ask, trying to keep your mind on track. You were careful not to burn yourself as fussed with the food

“Shit, babe can you hand me the tongs?” You ask, reaching a hand out behind you. That’s when you realized he hadn’t responded.

“Babe?” You try again, turning around only to realize he’d already left. You scoffed, grabbing it for yourself before leaning back. Standing straight, you take a moment to bask in the warmth of the oven before closing it.

*~Three days later~*

Dom raised his head to look at you, your spoon clinking against the side of your bowl signalling your entrance of the living room. He looked back to the TV just as soon as he had looked over, obviously too invested in whatever he was watching to acknowledge your existence. A sigh of relief left your lips when your butt hit the cushions, leaning back into the inviting, cushiony supports.

“Ugh, this week has been so stressful. I feel like I haven’t had the chance to sit in like… forever.” You say, your eyes focusing on what was playing in front of you. It was an old episode of the great british bake off.

You laughed a bit, but it came off more as a hum.

“You know, I heard when contestants would cry, Mel and Sue would stand by them and use un-airable language so the footage wouldn’t make it to the final cut. Isn’t that so thoughtful?” You say, trying to perk some conversation out of the boy sitting next to you.

He wasn’t responding. Your eyebrows furrowed as you searched through anything you might’ve said to upset him recently. You couldn’t think of a single thing, come to think of it, what was the last thing you had said to him? Hell, when was it?

You realized quickly your last exchange was in the kitchen, and even that had been cut short by him leaving.

Yes, that’s right. When you had crawled in bed with him that night, he had been asleep and you were in such a rush the next morning you couldn’t remember if he was awake next to you when you woke up. He wasn’t exactly avoiding you as much as he was not talking to you.

Had he seriously been giving you the silent treatment for that long?

“Is everything okay?” You tried, sure you were only getting in your own head. Your eyes had completely left the TV at this point, focusing solely on the quiet boy next to you. There was no response, not even so much as a nod.

“You haven’t talked to me in almost a week.” You continued

“Doesn’t matter. Even if i did, you wouldn’t be listening.” Dom retorted

“I’m sorry i made you feel that way. It honestly was not my intention, i’ve just been so caught up this week.” You were sorry, but it seemed awfully ridiculous to have gone this long giving you the silent treatment just because you had been distracted.

The conversation ended entirely there.

Dom hadn’t said more than two words to you since your argument, doing everything in his power to avoid you. It wasn’t hard, after all he was a very busy man. Especially with the release of his new album coming up, there were interviews and meetings to be had, but at a certain point they became less of a responsibility and more of an excuse.

You were on twitter, you had seen his fans practically begging him to take a break, but taking a break would mean seeing you, and that just wasn’t something he had been in the mood to do recently. It was bad enough already that he had to go to dinner with you.

That was okay, you would help him get in the mood. Or, rather, out of his mood. If Dom wanted to be petty, fine, you could be petty.

You slipped the soft material up your legs, admiring your reflection in the mirror. If Dom was going to ignore you, you were going to give him something to ignore.

You knew this skirt would do the trick, every time you saw another girl or, fuck it, boy, prouncing around and one of these skirts even you nearly fucked them. Everybody looked good in these, it was a fact of life, you’d decided. You knew you definitely looked good, you almost had to stop for a moment and touch yourself to the sight, but glancing at the clock you realized you didn’t have nearly enough time for a bit of self pleasure.

You were practically already running late, spending all your time getting yourself ready to grab Dom’s attention. You added some finishing touches before heading out to the living room where Dom sat, waiting for you patiently.

Any other time Dom would’ve been right next to you in the bathroom, admiring your work on your makeup, outfit and hair, but today he stayed in the living room

You tried not to smirk as you made your way into his line of vision. The look on his face was completely worth the hours of tireless work, though. He’d turned his head to look at you, a distinct glare replaced by shock, his eyes widening a bit as they landed on your outfit. It was tight and loose in all the right places and only added to your stunning features.

“What?” You teased,

He tried to recover quickly, returning to his pouty state, not even bothering with a response as you followed him out the door.

You were sitting at the table, surrounded by you and Dom’s friends when someone finally made a comment on your appearance.

“You look really good, (Y/N).” Tom commented, everyone nodding in agreement as the conversation momentarily shifted to you.

“Thank you! I thought so.” You praise yourself, smiling down at your outfit.

The conversation drifted off again, a newfound confidence bubbling up in your chest. You reached over to Dom, grabbing his hand and placing it on your thigh. It stayed there for a moment before he moved it, and it continued on like that. You did everything in your power to remind him of how good you looked and how short your skirt was until he motioned for you to stand. A couple eyes turned to you as you walked off, but no one asked any questions.

Dom was practically dragging you, your feet fumbling as you struggled to keep up with his long strides. When you realized where you were headed you glanced at him, eyes wide, but he wasn’t looking back. His eyes were focused on the bathroom doors ahead, his jaw clenched, gorgeous green eyes shadowed by his black eyeliner.

“Dom, what are you doing?” You began to plead, uncomfortably aware of the fact that you were about to walk into a bathroom with your boyfriend in front of the whole restaurant. You glanced around, checking for any cameras or onlooking eyes. There were none in sight, but you knew that didn’t mean much.

Your head clobbered light as he pinned you to the stall, his eyes burning into your own. Your gaze faltered, looking everywhere but him. Normally sex with Dom never made you nervous, he had always managed to make you feel safe and comfortable, but going from complete silence to being pinned against a stall in The Olive Garden so abruptly made you timid. His hand pressed down on your shoulder, your legs bending until your knees hit the tiled floor, staring up at him through your lashes. Dom hastily unbuttoned his pants, maintaining his gaze, er, glare on you. Your eyes flickered from his own to his hard dick springing from its constraints, watching as he stroked himself achingly slow before his tip slid past your lips, sliding himself across your tongue a few times, his head leaning back as he felt the warmth of your mouth surround him.

You hollowed out your cheeks, eyes remaining on his expression. When you reached up to replace his hand with your own you felt a harsh tug on your hair. It took you a moment to realize what he wanted from you, but when you realized you let your jaw go slack. Dom’s hand remained wrapped around the base of his cock, shoving it down your throat unexpectedly, causing you to gag.

Your mouth hung open, weary not to let your teeth scrape against him as he thrust into your mouth. You pulled back a bit as you gagged, your head lightly hitting against the wall behind you. Dom continued to push forward, his hard cock pushing farther and farther back in your throat. You were pinned between his thrusting hips and the bathroom stall, you had no choice but to let him fuck your throat.

Not that you were complaining.

Well, you couldn’t.

You gagged around him, hands coming up to grip at his hips as he continued to use your mouth to get himself off, angelic moans falling from his plush lips.

Dom finally took mercy on you, pulling away and grabbing your chin with his thumb and forefinger, staring down at you.

“You look so pretty gagging on my dick.” He says, wiping the tear coming from your eye. His hand makes its way down to your neck, wrapping around it and pulling you to your feet.

“Or maybe it’s just that fucking skirt.” He adds, slapping your thigh before lifting the skirt up to reveal your lace underwear. A groan slips past his lips, bringing his fingers against your core. You let out a sigh of relief as his fingers rubbed against your clit, glad to finally get some relief after all this time. It was short lived, though, as he pulled you to your feet using the grip he had on your throat, tilting your head up to look at him.

The air around you seemed to freeze, your eyes roamed eachothers faces, desperate for one another. His lips came against yours slowly and then all at once, his hand remaining around your throat as his tongue slipped its way into your mouth. The hand that wasn’t wrapped around your throat remained between your legs, working steadily at making your legs shake for him.

It was almost embarrassing how ready you were for him, so needy that the slightest touch beckoned a whine. Things became heated again quickly, his hands moving from your neck to your thighs, a quick hop before you wrapped them around his waist.

Dom reached between your legs, trying his best to move the material without dropping you, eventually giving in and letting you do it instead. Reaching between your legs, you wrapped your hand around him, lining his hard dick up with your aching core. He paused there for a moment, enjoying the feeling before pushing himself in. His lips reconnected with your own, thrusting into you a few times before sighing and setting you back to the floor. Your eyebrows furrowed up at him, unsure what to do before he was spinning your around, pinning your face against the wall. You felt him slide between your lips once more before pushing in. It took him a moment to find his rhythm, but soon you were being pounded against the bathroom stall, pathetic moans falling from both your lips, Your senses clouded by pleasure leaving you completely lost to your surroundings.

You would have to be petty more often.

#Yungblud #yungblud smut #yungblud fanfic #yungblud x reader #dominic harrison smut #dominic harrison angst #dominic harrison fanfic #dominic harrison x reader #yungblud angst #submission

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anxious2dsimp · 3 years

Note

oooooh heLLO i really enjoyed your denki fic, very cute, 10000/10. since requests are open, could i get kirishima and kaminari with an s/o that Really Likes anime? headcanons or a drabbe, or whatever else you feel comfortable with :DDD

😭 Omg hi! Thank you so much, I appreciate it a ton :) You’re my first ever request & I go really excited about the idea, hope you like it! I decided to do it in Headcanon format bc there’s so much I wanna add omg I hope it isn’t too long...

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Kirishima and Kaminari with an S/O that loves anime

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Kirishima x Reader, Kaminari x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None! Some light cursing courtesy of Bakugou :)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Kirishima Eijirou:

I don’t think Kirishima watches anime regularly, or if he would even know any shows at all.

Let’s face it, he probably just watches workout YouTubers and regular action-packed movies.

HOWEVER, he loves knowing more about you, so he’ll be interested when you bring it up to him!

You probably first talked about it during a random conversation where he asked what you were currently watching.

So you just told him the plot of whichever anime you were watching atm, and he liked it so he asked for the name.

You told him it was an anime, and he was like: “so a cartoon?” sigh

*cut to you explaining how anime is more than just cartoons & how it’s a whole thing with genres and everything*

Tbh, Kiri probably wasn’t that sold on the idea...

but seeing how you lit up talking about it he wants to know more just to see you all excited and hyped

I love him sm😭

He’d probably not watch any shows by himself but watch whichever you decide to watch together to spend time with you and see your reactions <3

He’s probably paying more attention to you than the show, but he does get invested in the story since all the characters are so “manly”

Sometimes you’ll just be cuddling and you’ll rant to him about what happened in the latest episode of whatever show you’re watching on your own since he knows he won’t watch it.

And so you’ll just tell him all about the plot and the characters, and the unexpected twist and your theories...

He’ll just be attentively listening to your shenanigans thinking; “god I love them so much”

If he ever sees you crying over a show, you best believe he’ll bring you tissues and a snack, he doesn’t judge!

One time you were just sobbing on the dorm’s common room couch, still getting over your favorite character’s death in the episode you had watched the night before.

Bakugou was just like ?? and since Kirishima was getting a drink from the fridge apparently not even remotely concerned he asked:

“Shitty hair, shouldn’t you like check on your s/o or something so they shut up?”

“They’re fine, just getting over a character dying in their show. I snuggled them up in the blanket, so I’m getting them something to drink & they’ll be fine in a few hours.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes SO HARD, but Kirishima doesn’t even notice bc he’s on his way to cuddle you.

If you ever want to do something anime-related like go to a convention or go buy manga or merch he’d gladly come along.

Expect him to get you the coolest little anime-related gifts for your birthday or Christmas (along with whatever he had already planned to get you) since he knows how obsessed you are.

Overall, just a really supportive bf <3

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Kaminari Denki:

Unlike Kiri, Kaminari LOVES anime! Idk why, but he gives off massive weeb vibes to me (in the best sense)

The thing is, you had NO IDEA of this because at first he hid it from everyone.

He initially had merch in his room but Bakugou & Mina teased him about it so he hid it whenever the bakusquad would hang in his dorm :’(

He did it too when you two started dating, bc he wanted to seem cool in your eyes & not like a dork...

Oh boy how wrong he was

You didn’t hide your anime obsession but never brought the topic up bc you didn’t think anyone else in the class liked it

So you can imagine your surprise when you found out

You two were hanging out in his room, and while he was setting up a movie on his laptop you got up to grab snacks where you saw him usually take food out of.

The second you open the drawer and Denki’s brain registers it he just screams “NOOO!” at the top of his lungs.

You literally jumped so high, it really caught you off-guard lmao

So now you’re just standing there, confused asf, because all there was in there was a figurine from one of your favorite animes and snacks.

As you take it out and examine it, turning around to face your bf he’s just panicking

He’s just staring at you like a deer caught in headlights and thinking:

Omg they’re onto me, will they even know what that is? what do I say when they ask? Will they believe me if I say it's someone else’s? They’ll think I play with toys or something please let the earth swallow me, someone help!

“This figurine is sick, where’d you get it? I’ve wanted one from that show for so long!”

Kaminari just blinks at you.

Did he hear that correctly? By the look on your face, it looked that way. He thought there was no way you could possibly become even more perfect in his eyes, but you just did.

Needless to say, you two ditched the movie and spent the afternoon talking about anime.

Since then you started going to conventions together, even cosplaying for fun a couple of times (just imagine him cosplaying Zenitsu from Demon slayer & you Nezuko or Tanjiro 🥺)

You’d watch SO MANY SHOWS TOGETHER OMG, and once anime season starts you’d get together once a week to binge all the new episodes.

Also gets you cute gifts and you do the same for him (considering he doesn’t hide his anime stuff anymore).

Honestly, he doesn’t even care who teases him bc you think it’s cool and that’s all he needs to know :’)

Loves making anime references or jokes just to get you to laugh while everyone else just looks at you two like tf???

Speaking of, brace yourself because he will absolutely use anime-related pickup lines on you lol

You get to exchange mangas and wear his merch hoodies from shows you also love.

Overall just couple goals, I ship it so much

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scarawayfromfallingapart · 3 years

Text

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

#fall out boy #infinity on high #ioh #fob #the afterlife of the party #plz don’t think this is weird ://///: I have thoughts #I recently found out I have bipolar so I am rethinking everything tbh #my depressive phases tend to be wayyyy worse like to the point I completely isolate and push people away #so that watching from the outside feeling is what I feel like a lot #not to mention the dissociative feelings from my anxiety :))) fun times #I tend to just experience hypomania so I am aware I do not feel the full extent of how destructive those feelings can be #I am not trying to glorify mania in anyway believe me #this was very long I expect approximately no one to read this and maybe that’s for the best lmao

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solomonish · 3 years

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Naamah’s “Match-Up” That I Made Needlessly Complicated!

IT TOOK ME A WHILE BUT I DID GO CRAZY AND STUPID

hewwo @baalism I made u......less of a match up and more just headcanons on how u date the people. i hope u like it <3 I divided them into tiers depending on how well I think they mesh w you too!! so here you go!

TOP TIER (NOT kissing up 2 u!)

SATAN

I think Satan is your #1 man because the two of you just seem to be.....kindred spirits. (I am calling you the same as Satan but like as a compliment?) Y’all got that academia vibe to you with your books and your museum dates and your air of mystery. You two are the hot nerd squad is what i’m saying

Plus Satan is a social butterfly! He’d not only like the quieter moments w you but also when you went dancing he could either be living it up with you or making new connections (although. if he was going to the club why would he stray from the main attraction? make it make sense)

And with him that trust would be super easy to get bc if you’re dating him, HOO BOY. He’s got some Issues but he trusts you to help him get through them! There is a lot of him that feels prickly and dangerous and if you don’t shy away from that and can help him through it then you have his heart! As long as you aren’t ripping his attention away from a thrilling chapter, he’s a great conversation partner too. His quiet nature at first is NOT shyness, it allows him to be observant!! You are one of the few who get the chatty inside ^u^

Plus he loves ur cat and will be on her side when she screws with your puzzles.

SOLOMON

THE ONLY REASON he is not number one is he’s a bit too much of a wallflower to be into the partying like Satan would be. Otherwise....hot nerd squad two electric boogaloo

Is a bit more down with the witchy outdoorsy stuff and the occult and the abandoned place exploration thing than Satan would be. I bet one of his favorite things to do is take u to an abandoned building and after being there for a while when you start to get bored, he enchants it to look like the inside of some old castle and you dance together or something :) memories for u

isn’t always super chatty but is great for listening to you rant. he makes up for his lack of chattiness by asking the perfect questions to get you fired up again, so your ranting takes up most of the time. loves to pick ur brain, so you can talk about anything. he’s like: i want to dissect that smart lil organ of yours. lovingly <3

keep your sudoku puzzles up or he will mistake your books for his and do them for you. the image of him sitting cross legged at an armchair like some grandpa is nice but those are your puzzles!!!! but he’s very good at being domestic, just make sure to ALWAYS cook or bake with him!

LUCIFER

Listen, I hc Lucifer as like kind of a wallflower, but even if i’m wrong, he’ll still not be partying with you a lot because he’s busy! of course doesn’t stop you from going out if you want just be safe pls he lovs u

will take a walk with you every day all the time. After dinner before he goes back to work, he’ll take a little stroll with you. when he has time he’ll go for longer ones and show you some off-beat or decrepit devildom areas but he will absolutely just go on little walks with you every day to catch up with you!!

lives for the domestic moments. you bring him coffee? he is glad to be yours! walks in on you doing laundry? how luck he is to have someone so capable <3 he’ll help you fold the rest of the load or will make sure to talk with you while it’s his turn to make dinner (but will make sure you don’t have to help! you deserve a break)

finds your interest in the arcane kinda funny because he IS the arcane but supports you <3 will listen to you list off what you know even if he also knows because he likes hearing what you’ve learned and you get so excited about it! he will return with his own spells and potions you might not know yet and you two could go on for hours about it.

HIGH-MID TIER

ASMODEUS

His interests align with your! Fashion, beauty, partying!! He loves it. LIVES for it. you two are an unstoppable force.

However....the academic/witchy stuff doesn’t suit him as well as the other stuff does? He’ll whine about you “being a satan” or “being a solomon” if you tread too far in one direction

he’ll work out with you though and buy you cute workout gear <3

a relationship with him is less emphasizing trust and more about intimacy (but you can still trust him yknow?) he makes your connection known by demonstrating it plainly rather than feeling like a safehouse, if that make sense? but he does love u to pieces!! remember that

BEELZEBUB

he wants to eat ur cupcakes this is my main reasoning and also NOT a dirty joke

if he goes partying w you he acts more as a personal bouncer and will circle the crowd like a shark for u <3 also great to bring you home if you’re drunk

he likes taking walks and hiking and being active with you! he does have to slow down so he doesn’t overexert your human body but he doesn’t mind because he’s having fun!

v sweet with the domestic stuff, just not great at cleaning. he just leaves crumbs over the floor he just cleaned :/ thinks u look cute in an apron tho

DIAVOLO

AHHHHH he thinks ur so interesting! so well rounded :0

also it’s good that you’re into witchy stuff! that made your transition to the devildom a bit easier huh?

absolutely loves how eager you are to learn because that’s what you need for the program to succeed! and you already know so much.....you would make.....a very knowledgeable..ruler....of the Devildom.....ahem.....

the above are used to physical affection but could back it up with some mistakes but Diavolo doesn’t get the chance to give affection so whatever ur comfortable with getting he will channel it all in to that!! gifts or words or whatever!!!

but if u give him a lil smooch he will be !!!!!!!! it just feels nice

AN ANOMALY

BARBATOS

I don’t understand this fucker (affectionate). IDK if I can’t place him bc I don’t know him that well or just because he refuses to be categorized but! he is here. perfectly in the middle. taunting me.

idk ur academic prowess is preferable because he wants someone who can keep up with him. and ur interest in spooky stuff works well bc he’s a demon and if he were a human he’d like the occult too.

can’t really go clubbing or take you very many places bc of work :/ he can do strolls around the garden though! or walk you home from places :)

good with the not initiating physical touch because he can shapeshift into whatever you need him to be. an anomaly indeed.

LOW-MID TIER

SIMEON

he respects you :)

finds your academic pursuits inspring! your interest in the occult is a bit off-putting at first but you all are in hell so who is he to blame?

loves to collect your witchy stuff with you <3 knows a lot about safe to eat fruits so he’ll be collecting things for a fresh strawberry pie while you collect what you need to summon lucifer without a pact even though he lives in ur house and you HAVE a pact.

you can bake the pie together though <3

BELPHEGOR

he does not respect you :)

finds your occult pursuits inspiring! your interest in excelling in academics is a bit off-putting at first - why would you choose to put more work in when you can jsut vibe and pass bc you’re an exchange student?

(ok i’m done making this the inverse of the above lol)

not the most chatty or the most workout-y or patying-y or anything BUT he can be a little domestic. you do the cleaning and he can cook once in a while! and he’ll make the bed! and then he’ll sleep in it immediately. but he’ll be wishing you were cuddling with him the whole time <3

LOW TIER

MAMMON

he’s got the energy but not the respect

unlike the way belphie disrespects you, mammon does it just bc you’re incompatible :/ but like in the nicest way possible

he interrupts when he’s chatty and he’s not the type to hang out with nerds and like. he’s too scared to get into the occult and abandoned buildings.

he does love you to bits! just....not in the way you want. sorry mams :/

LEVIATHAN

he can get chatty for sure!!

but he just does not have the energy to match your academic pursuits or your outdoorsy interests or clubbing or beauty or any of that.

ok MAYBE the enrd stuff but like only a little! too much and that’d make him a normie >:(

y’all trust each other a lot tho! just as henry and lord of shadow, like friends. not a significant others

OKAY i didn’t burn myself out!! i hope you like this and agree maybe? hehe this was fun

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #swd obey me #for baalism

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levisteacup01 · 3 years

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mkay more angsty but fluffy shet about mha (ノ￣ω￣)ノ

not proof readeded lol

TW: PTSD, family/father ab*se, violence, nigtmares

So let’s talk about our traumatized bby Shoto

so ofc I truly believe from the bottom of my heart he has PTSD

like how could he not with the shithead En*vour he is living

he has him that caused his trauma and he has to see him on daily basis

I think that maybe his mother gifted him something odly wired as a child when she was still around

like idk a pin or a photo camera, maybe a shitty reusable box of pills

and he keeps it like is the last thing he will touch

if he ever sees his dad even glancing at it he will go feral

I think he usually have nightmares

Maybe not like out of the blue

on a shitty day when nor you or anyone is around to comfort him

so he just drags himself to bed in that mindset that he is scared to sleep to don’t have a nightmare

If you ever argue with him and you are that tipe of person to slam or break stuff when things get heated he will most certainly flinch and defend himself

or just simply run away crying (pls this breaks my heart)

This boy has tics

like nothing too serious

just like scratching his thumb till it bleeds out of anxiety

or bouncing his leg or tapping the table annoyingly much

Headcanons time✨🫖

You are lying down next to Shoto , he is fast asleep after a long ass training with Izuku .

Tho taking in fact that it’s only 10 pm you can’t sleep, so you just do your thing, idk read a book or something while he snuggles into you

You know sometimes his mind gets cloudy, and as much as he loves you he still can’t always talk about it. He just needs to be in his world to sort things out in his brain, but he knows you are there for him

While paying attention to wherever you were doing he started shaking and tensing up.

Mind you, this is the first time seeing someone experiencing a nightmare

You thought he was having a seizure or something so you gently shook him awake.

He JOLTED up , tears spilling from his eyes. He looked at you for a second until his hand flew to cover his mouth after sprinting to the bathroom and throwing himself over the toilet

You chase after him, really confused about the situation, until it all connects

he had a nightmare

You kneel down next to him and caress a hand over his back until he calms down and he stopped vomiting.

He looked at you trough half lidded eyes still sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry... I know it’s a disgusting sight to see—“

You interrupted him , wiping the corner of his mouth with the nearest towel, carefully like he is about to crack into pices

The silence is kept until you grab another towel and put it under some cold water from the sink

“It’s not. We all have nightmares “ you gently whisper, patting his face and neck with it to calm him down

He starts to sob again, loudly this time.

You waste no time jumping into his lap to hug him. You know holding someone after a nightmare makes it better. And with no hesitation he hugs you back like you are about to disappear.

“When I was younger I had nightmares too, a lot of them. Scared that the monster in my closet will get me.” You tangle your fingers trough the hair at the back of his head to massage his scalp “She hugged me and I started to explain her my nightmares, but she was brave “

He looked up at you with a puzzled look.” Who is she?” he asked softly “Yupu tuck a pice of hair behind his ear “my mom. I loved her, and I still do” you rant to him, trying to distract him about whatever scared him in that awful dream “I visit her every week, tell her about my high school, about my dad and you” you give off a sad smile “tho she could never answer. She is peacefully rested now” Shoto gave an amazed look, you never talked about your family, it was a sensitive topic whenever parents discussion came around. “How was your mom Sho?” you asked planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He took in a sharp inhale and avoided contact “She is in mental hospital, I guess you know the whole story. But... I still love her. She is my— my only mom, she loved me and I ams sure about that..” the fesr in his words was really audible. He daubed that , he was a shitty liar.

“Shoto my love...” You guided his face closer to yours so you could meet his gaze “Whatever happend in you dream—“ you explained caressing a thumb over his scar “those things are just tricks that our mind plays to us, memories that we need to value. You can’t say that you need to be proud of what your relationship became. But it is a memory, that you need to acknowledge that is there, to build yourself without . You can’t keep living in your past” Still, with your pestering, he wasn’t really pleased with it and you picked up on that fact “Now, healing takes time, so I don’t say you to start now, but whenever you decide to , I will be right here to support you every step of the way”

He smiled and kissed you lips a glimpse of happiness in his eyes

“Thank you...”

———————-

Lol this was supposed to be just head cannons

#mha todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki angst #mha angst #anime thoughts #Camille’s anime theories

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andthebubbles · 2 years

Text

i thought i’d do a fun little post that will amuse no one but myself! (and whoever might stumble across this in the tracked tags)

(plus the garage is super pretty atm bc xmas)

here are some of my regularly played/favourite tonks (or ones that i want to rant about)!!

VK 30.02 M

this ^ is a fine thing. a very fine thing. i didn’t think i’d like it as much as i do atm. i like it better than the t-34-85m and everyone says that tank is awesome but i just don’t see it (more on that later).

anyway, maybe i like this tank a lot because i have a pretty good crew in it (i put the xmas female crew in it because i don’t have a crew trainer for the german med line) so the dispersion is really good, i can hit things on the move without aiming?! the day i realised that, i was like, oh, and then everything changed /dramatics~ anyway, i gotta play it more and see if the love is here to stay :P (i already unlocked the tier 7 leading to the leopard 1, but i think i’ll keep playing this until i unlock the other tier 7, then retrain the crew...)

T-34-85M

idk what to say about this one, i just don’t really get it yet. it’s kinda... slow?? or the power to weight ratio isn’t very good so it always feels like such a slog when relocating. also, the amount of snapshots i’ve derped into the ground whilst brawling... meanwhile the vk ^ is like *chef’s kiss* in comparison

AMX 12t

i love this!! i like lights generally anyway cause of the high camo on the move. plus, at lower tiers, lights are more effective/more like light tanks because lots of people have shitty crews and the view range isn’t maxed out yet. anyway, but like all light tanks, it’s tricky to play because you make one mistake and you’re either dead instantly or it’ll come back to bite you later and you’ll die earlier than you would’ve liked to...

AMX ELC bis

i don’t have a very good crew in this one (not even 100% yet!) because i moved it up to the amx 12t when i got it of course. but anyway, this one can be fun, the camo is super OP for tier 5... buuuuuuuut the 90mm gun can be really clunky to play with; on the other hand it’s super easy to do a good amount of damage with it, so idk. anyway, maybe i should play it more.

AMX 13 57

this thing is SO OP, the gun handling is soooo good wtf, and it’s just a really fun tank to play. however idk i’d prefer bigger damage per shot and less shells... on the other hand, shooting someone every second is pretty cool too so idk. but sometimes it feels more like you’re being a mosquito when you’d rather just take some rather large chunks out of them. i guess i haven’t quite worked out how to play this one properly yet. actually, not ‘i guess’, i KNOW, lol

Strv m/42-57

i had to put a turbo on this to make this playable (for me) >.> anyway, i got this a while ago because i once had dreams of going up the udes 15/16 line... that dream has since faded LOL

T67

lol as you can see i haven’t played this yet on asia but i played it quiiiite a bit on NA and it’s just a really nice, relaxing, OP tank to play looool. but it also needs some brain cells to play it well. or at least, i need to apply some brain cells, because i’m not very good at this game...

anyway! i don’t have a crew for it yet, i don’t want to put a xmas female crew in because that’s so overkill (i save them for light tanks (maybe i’ll put this year’s one into starting the american LT line? i want to derp people with the T49... i have hopes and dreams lmao) buuuut i don’t want to start from a 75% crew either because i have a pretty decent crew on NA after playing it for a while and I don’t want to go back to 75% and no skills TT__TT so idk yet.

Skorpion

i still haven’t played this on this account yet but i have it on NA and i looooved it. over on asia though i’m still hemming and hawing about the crew and crew books and having to fork out 1.2 mil credits for fucking equipment, rip. anyway, i’ll get round to playing it... 490 dmg per shot is tasty and camping in the bush is relaxing :P plus, i like a fully traversable turret. maybe i should go down the grille 15 line but stop at tier 9...

T-44-100

erm... so i like this, it’s nice and wriggly, but... i haven’t yet worked out how to play it in random battles. in FL it’s preeetty very good. i would complain about the standard shell velocity, but at the same time the gun feels oddly solid, even though it’s pretty inaccurate.

Strv S1

i hate this. I HATE THIS. it was my first prem tank. fucking cheese wedge. i think the fact that you have to sit in siege mode to shoot makes me really fucking lazy to move. actually, i think i did better in this tank when i was just starting the game because i would just sit in one spot, pretty much, and shoot things, but now sitting in one spot and moving at a snail’s pace is just... really hard... haha

Skoda T 27

this actually makes more sense to me re how to play it than the progetto 46... however, it’s been a while since i played the progetto (i only have it on NA and i don’t play on NA anymore), so maybe now if i played the progetto again i’d like it more than this tank.

LT-432

i played this in randoms on NA, and on asia so far only in FL (my crew is shit so i’m hesitant to play randoms still). um... okay so i get that everyone really loves this and says it’s good but i don’t really get it?? i mean yeah it’s lmao GREAT at playing hull down hahaha, sometimes i do that on a ridgeline and people just cry, but. it’s fucking huge for a light tank, and the standard shell pen is an absolute ballsack... and the damage per shot is low... it doesn’t need vert stabs though, which is wild

HWK 30

yet another tank i’ve so far only played on FL but i love it! it’s like the best of both LT and MT worlds. it’s got the alpha of a medium and the moving camo of a light (camo could be higher though, but you can’t have it all :P). and the pen is good and the HE is tasty. dkjgn. but yeah, i have a crap crew for it still (not even full camo yet) so i haven’t played it in randoms yet.

anyway, i have a few more tanks, notably the bourrasque, the M10 RBFM (*shudder*), the ikv 65 (*double shudder*), and some artys.......... and a few other tanks i haven’t played yet but want to play (type 64, GSOR)... but yeah i’ll stop here.

well. no. i hate the M10 RBFM but once in a while i accidentally play it because i have the urge to play the T67 but i don’t have a crew for it yet, so i play the M10... and regret it. it’s so goddamn slow, i can’t stand slow things.

as for the bourrasque, i like it, but i’ve only played it in FL so far because my crew is super shit. also it kinda hurts that the gold shells are so much better than the standard shells.

and the ikv 65 is just fucking annoying. i don’t want the strv 103b anymore lol

as for artys, i haven’t touched the M44 since they nerfed it AND all other artys. nowadays i just play the GW panther if i need to play a few more games for missions but i’m too tired to play anything else (it feels shitter after the arty nerf imo), andddd i feel like i could second mark the M12 with not too much problem but urgh, nah.

#wot #world of tanks #maybe i'll take it off the tracked tags later #this post is just a huge tired ramble #ooh i have a tag #ramble

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fleshblueberry · 3 years

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Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

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