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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls · 2 months

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I have enjoyed your blog for a while and wondered if I may get your advice on a dilemma I'm having.

A guy I've been chatting to for quite a while has asked me to be his pet slave. I have told him my limits and boundaries, and he says slaves don't get limits. He wants me to be his slave in and out of the bedroom. The situation is more complicated as we live over 20 miles from each other. I don't have a car, and I also have a young child. I have such anxiety about being his slave out of the bedroom as I have so many responsibilities. I'm scared I will constantly fail him due to attending to my child or my grandmother. I also care for 5 days a week, my household responsibilities, and all the things that come with the above. I also have very severe anxiety, which I take medication for as well as depression and am subject to weekly (almost) migraines and other health conditions. He owns a couple of businesses, and I'm just not sure how this would work. He seems confident it can work, and maybe it's just my anxiety talking, but I'm so scared that I will just fail him and disappoint him, and he'll leave.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you for your time and sorry for going on a bit

Kiddo… wow. I don’t enjoy being this negative about someone you like, but… yikes.

You are not describing a serious man, sweetie.

You’ve been “chatting to [him] for quite a while”. Yet you either haven’t talked before about limitations, or you have talked about them and he bait-n-switched you once you were invested. In the former case, why the fuck is he soliciting you for unbounded sexual submission without even having some sort of preliminary discussion about Shit You Can’t Do, or How Others Will Be Affected? In the latter case, you can see how that makes him a malicious asshole, right?

Based on everything you’re saying, I’m assuming he didn’t ask you about your limits or boundaries. So do me a favor and think about how incurious he’d have to be to not bring it up. This is clearly not a deep thinker. You are a human being, who has accrued a collection of dependencies and responsibilities and passions and fears, all of which need to be addressed in some way when talking about enslaving you. You don’t cease to exist as both entity and necessity for your kid or grandma just ‘cause he says so. You shouldn’t need to ask a weird internet guy what to do… he should be listening to you, and should have already presented his broad-strokes plan for dealing with your concerns. But he hasn’t because he doesn’t care. Perhaps because he’s dumb, perhaps because none of this is real to him, perhaps because he your life doesn’t matter… whatever the case, you’ve got a problem.

If I poke a peanut down Blossom’s throat, there’s a decent chance she’ll die. (Or just wish she were dead.) Assuming I’m not out of my fucking mind, that’s a limit right there. I’m not a fucking faith-healer, and my semen —sadly— cannot cure her allergies… no matter how masterly my masterosity, one peanut = one dead piggy. So slaves not only “get” limits, they often come with them baked into their genes.

He can tell you what he expects of you, but he can’t tell you what “slaves” get. The world is full of service perverts who “get” all kinds of things he either can’t or won’t provide, and if you want any of them, you can have ‘em from someone else. His is not the only game in town, no matter how much he’d prefer you believe otherwise. This rejection of limitation is an aspect of this one man, not of sexual slavery in general.

Men who crave complete control should crave complete understanding. Absolutely nothing you’ve said suggests you feel understood.

I’m now going to give you the one piece of criticism I have to aim directly at you: it is ridiculous that you are so much as considering being someone’s “pet slave” when you have even one immutable, preeminent responsibility… much less two. Because yes, even if he were a thoughtful, empathetic, reasonable man, you’d still end up struggling to make him happy. Your world is busy and complicated, and adding him to the mix will make it dramatically more so… your relationship should be designed to give you lots of opportunities to succeed, but you’re setting yourself up for systemic failure.

It’s not just your anxiety talking. In the most charitable read of the situation, he is startlingly naive.

Stop worrying about him leaving, and start thinking about what it would take to make you stay. You should not involve yourself in all-consuming servitude out of submissive FOMO… you do it because he deserves your absolute devotion, and anything less is unthinkable. You’re nowhere close to that, and I don’t see how he’s even trying to get you there. He’s bringing you greater doubt, not certainty.

At the very least, he needs a reality check. Sit his ass down and insist he use his big-boy words to explain how he’s gonna fit in your world, how he’s gonna help you win, how he’ll use the inevitable losses to teach you lessons, and generally assure you that your very reasonable concerns are being very soberly considered and handled by a qualified adult.

And be careful. People are counting on you.

#asks #advice

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fantasyinallforms · 7 months

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Despite my warnings, I've gotten some Anon hate for this series. I get that some are spicier than others, and I'm writing on a very wide range of kinks. Super saucy isn't everyone's thing, and I get that. That's why I've written a few more tender ones specifically for those who prefer that. The label is right on the can, so to speak. You're under no obligation to read it but don't be mad at me for writing it. Not really inspiring me to write more, but they also want that, so I'll keep going anyway. I do this for one month out of the 12 months, so kindly get out of my DM's.

Thank you to @tolkienpinupcalendar for hosting this event! Thank you to those who have said a kind word, and thank you to my fellows on the NSFT Discord. Your encouragement and chats have meant the world to me.

without further adieu

~~~~

Day 13- Bagginshield - Dom/Sub with light to medium degradation (Bilbo Dom)

Thorin walked through the door of his royal apartment, exhausted. Not physically but mentally. Being king meant making choices all day. It meant a constant barrage of information all directed at him. He was constantly expected to set an example and a standard for his people. Most of the time, he loved it and couldn't imagine doing anything else. Other times he wanted to run far away from responsibility and choice. Like he did today.

He removed his boots and walked into the living room to find Bilbo at his writing desk, scribbling letters for trade orders and ambassadorial summons. He looked up and smiled as Thorin walked in but knit his eyebrows when he saw Thorin's haggard disposition.

"You held open court today, didn't you?" Bilbo asked. Thorin nodded yes. "I'll be sitting in my armchair when you're appropriately dressed." Bilbo put his pen back in the inkwell and left the room. A swooping sensation filled his stomach. He had been desperately hoping for that response. Not long after his coronation, the weight of rulership settled on him. It made him tired, irritable, and not the best company. He hadn't seen how much it hurt Bilbo until it became a shouting match. That fight ended in Thorin finally voicing all his burdens, and of course, his clever hobbit had a solution. He had been skeptical initially, but it took no time for him to fall in love with the dynamic they had built. One where he was not in charge and made no decisions.

Thorin pulled the black and white dress Bilbo commissioned for him out of his wardrobe. It was made to resemble a maid outfit that was common in the shire, though it was likely much shorter than the real thing. He put it on and smoothed it out before walking into the sitting room. Bilbo was where he said he'd be, patiently waiting with his legs crossed and his fingers clasped together over his knee.

"Go look at yourself in the mirror and tell me if what you’re wearing counts as appropriate attire," Bilbo stated. He turned to the mirror and realized his mistake.

"I forgot my headband," Thorin replied.

"Let's not also forget our manners in your haste. You forgot your headband, what?"

"I forgot my headband, Master Baggins." Thorin recited.

"Very good. Go get it, and also bring me the black paper-wrapped package in the top drawer of my desk." Thorin returned to the bedroom and pinned his hair up in a bun so that the headpiece would fit appropriately. He smiled at himself in the mirror. For the next several hours, Thorin was not a king. He did not have responsibilities or a kingdom. He would not be catered to or held in regard. He was something for Bilbo to play with or belittle as he saw fit. The package he was told to grab was heavier than he expected. It made him curious and excited.

"Good, we can start. Now, I am concerned with that little blunder that you've forgotten the rules, so I'm going to remind you of them. So long as you are wearing those clothes, you don't get to make choices. You do what I ask when I ask. Fail, and there will be punishment. Nod if you agree." When he nodded, Bilbo got up and walked over to him to take the package." If you need to stop, what is the only word I'll accept?" Bilbo asked

"Smaug, Master Baggins," Thorin replied. Bilbo grinned.

"Good boy. Now that I'm confident you remember how this works, I have a present for you. I had it specially made." Bilbo unwrapped the paper to reveal a plug made of silver with a jeweled acorn engraved at its base. Thorin's eyes went wide as he gulped and shuddered in anticipation. It was a good size, bigger than any of the other ones Bilbo had used on him. "It looks like I'll be spending most of our time together helping you remember your manners. What do we say when someone gives us a gift?"

"Thank you, Master Baggins. It's very generous. I'd be happy to accept such a gift from you."

"I'm glad to hear it. Let's not waste any time then. Grab the oil and get on your hands and knees in front of me. I want to watch you open yourself up. Do not touch your cock." Bilbo sat back on his armchair and watched as Thorin worked his fingers into himself one at a time. He loved having Bilbo’s eyes on him, judging him worthy of his time. He looked over at him every time he added a new finger to watch the satisfying smile play out on his lips. When he could fit three comfortably, Bilbo commanded him to stop. “Very good. Now, head down, arch your back, and spread your legs.” Thorin hesitated. In all the times they had played together, this was not a position Bilbo usually put him in. He was typically expected to insert his own toys. His hesitancy earned him Bilbo’s foot on his neck. Bilbo applied pressure until his cheek was pressed into the floor. “I don’t like being ignored or disobeyed, Thorin.” When Bilbo took the pressure off, Thorin didn’t move. He adjusted his hips and sloped his back as he was told.

“I’m sorry, Master Baggins, I forgot myself.” Thorin apologized. Bilbo tutted at him.

“I’m inclined to forgive you only because you look quite pathetic like this. We’ve barely begun, and you’re already leaking onto the floor.” Bilbo trailed his hand over his back and down his thighs, paying close mind to never touch his cock or his stretched hole. Every small touch was like an electric shock. It left him wanting more and made him aware of how empty his body felt. He groaned and tried to think about the cool stone under his face. Soon, he felt cool metal tease at his entrance. “Remind me how much you want my present,” Bilbo commanded.

“Please Bil-Master Baggins. I want to accept your gift! I want whatever you’re willing to give me!” He spread his legs a little wider and thrust his ass as far up as possible. Bilbo snapped his garters against his thighs with a hint of satisfaction.

“Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Do not stop breathing.” The moment after the command was given, Thorin felt the cold metal breach him. He grit his teeth but kept breathing as Bilbo pushed it further and further. It was painful, and the pressure pushed him open further than he had ever been before, but the stretch was intoxicating. After what seemed like forever, he felt the base settle against his ass and whimpered at the realization that this was constructed to settle just under the spot inside him that made him see stars. His body adjusted to the new intrusion just before Bilbo slapped it and forced another broken whimper from him. “A perfect fit. I might even make it part of the uniform. Bilbo tugged on it, testing the seal and laughing as Thorin buckled. “Well, now that you have my present, you can make me tea. Stand up.” Thorin tried to do what he was told and failed the first time as the plug shifted and made him tremble. His cock ached to be touched, and his body was on fire. He felt as alive as he did in battle.

He was finally able to fully comply and hung the kettle on the fire. He could feel every inch of what was still inside him. He wanted to squirm and bounce until it brought him to completion, but he obeyed his command. The tea was made, and he prepared it exactly how Bilbo taught him in his first session. Two cream and two sugar. He brought it over to him, and Bilbo took it with a smile.

“Well done. Kneel beside me and hold out your hands. Do not move, and do not spill a drop of my tea." Bilbo sat the saucer and cup on his open hands and started reading. Periodically removing the cup to take a sip. When he was finished, he demanded another one and remanded Thorin to the same position. Only this time, he did not drink it. He read, and Thorin continued to be his tea table until the tea itself went cold. After another ten minutes and long after his hands and legs had gone numb, he felt Bilbo run his hands along his leg and over his thighs. He lifted the front of his outfit and let out a disappointed sigh. "Well, isn't that a shame? Even with my present inside you, your cock has gone soft. It looks quite sad, just bobbing between your thighs like that. Don't you think you should apologize to me for such a pitiful display?" Bilbo dropped the hem of the dress and stared expectedly.

"I'm sorry, Master Baggins."

"Sorry for what, Thorin, be specific." Thorin stared at the floor. Bilbo was in a mood to humiliate him, likely blowing off his own steam from spending a day being diplomatic to those who barely deserved it. Thorin tried not to smile at the thought that his humiliation could help his husband in such a way.

"I'm sorry that my cock is pathetic enough that it can't stay hard. I'm sorry that you are forced to look at it, and I hope that you can forgive me for making you have to remind me of my manners." He felt his cock twitch, but with just how numb his legs were, it remained soft. Bilbo took the cold tea from him and used his foot to push Thorin over onto his side.

"I accept your apology, and I won't even punish you. I'll give you another chance to redeem yourself. Go make me a fresh cup of tea, and if your legs are too numb to walk, you can crawl to the kitchen." His legs were too numb. He crawled across the floor, the plug shifting within him with every movement of his hips. By the time he got to the kitchen, his legs prickled, and his cock was half-hard again. He panted, aching with the burning need to touch himself but craving the promise of Bilbo’s reward more. He managed to stand long enough to hang the kettle over the fire before collapsing. In the time it took for the water to boil, he regained sensation enough to walk and re-entered the room with a hot cup of tea.

"Hand me my tea and get on all fours in front of me facing the door. Do not slope your back," Bilbo demanded. When Thorin was in the correct position, Bilbo placed the cup just below his shoulder blades and walked around to face him. He grabbed his face and forced their eyes to meet.

"Now I think we can agree I've been very patient with you this evening. You're not an easy toy to train, but I will keep trying. What makes you worth it is how eager you are to please. That is a quality I approve of. I'll say this for the last time. Do not spill my tea, and if you can manage that, I'll use you as the little cum dump you’re training so hard to become." Bilbo watched the hopeful reaction play out on his face with a wicked grin.

"Thank you, Master Baggins. You're more generous with me than I deserve." Thorin couldn't keep the adoration out of his voice if he tried.

“Yes, I am,” Bilbo replied as he took his seat. The game he was about to have to play was apparent immediately. He felt Bilbo’s hand caress his rear, and then, with a bolt of beautiful agony, he felt the plug turn in him as Bilbo slowly took it out. He wanted to writhe and felt his shoulders shake, but the moment he heard the rattling of the teacup, he stopped and tried to steel his nerves. It left him panting and mumbling words of mercy. Bilbo showed him none, and he would get none unless he uttered their red word. He did not stop, and he did not slow down. When the plug was almost out of him, he pushed it back in with enough force to make Thorin scream, but he still did not move. He held fast as Bilbo assaulted his body with the toy until he was crying and begging for release. When he felt like he was about to collapse, Bilbo stopped picked up the tea cup and set it aside before uttering the first genuinely kind words of the session.

“Thorin, you did so well. Not a bit of my tea went to waste. I’m going to give you a special reward just because I know how difficult that was. Turn around and open your mouth.” When Thorin turned around, Bilbo had his cock in his hand. He caressed his face and hooked his thumb into his mouth. He smeared some of his precum on his lips before slapping his cock on his tongue. Bilbo fed his cock into his mouth until Thorin swallowed all of it and fucked the back of his throat hard and fast. Thorin was so relieved to finally be worthy of Bilbo’s affection that he came untouched onto the cold floor. While his body shuddered from the aftershock of his climax, Bilbo gripped his hair and, with a cry, spent down his throat.

Thorin didn't spill a drop.

~~~~~~~

Find the kinktober list here!

#bagginshield #bilbo x thorin #smut #dom/sub #kinktober 2023 #TPCkinktober #FIAF(me)fics

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chbobserver · 10 months

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welcome to the first edition of the CHB OBSERVER!

within the following post, you will find drama, intrigue, betrayal, hookups, unrequited love, well-seasoned hate--anything you could want to know about your fellow campers. this newsletter marks the first batch of asks sent since the blog was opened, and will be published on a regular basis. however, from this point on, asks may be published in-between newsletters, at the asker's request, or if the gossip is particularly piping. this publication is the result of countless hours of investigation, footage capture and review, interviewing, and of course, the contributions of readers like YOU! i really couldn't have done any of this without you, remember that!

-xoxo GhostPheme

so many missions back to back with so many new players on the board, and people were bound to be paying close attention to their neighbors antics!! let's get into the first drop:

"a little birdie tells me that the son of aphrodite can spark a little love triangle, xoxo"

and i wonder which son of aphrodite they mean, first of all. morgan, perhaps? we did hear corban express interest in wanting to chat him up..but if so, who's the third? everyone keep an eye on this, let us know if we can narrow it down.

“i was told era’s body count is currently 56. not sure if he can count that high, but my professionally estimated guess is around 87.”

oh wow, i'm not even sure which part is more offensive, but i bet erasmo will clear that up for us.

"i heard that holli has a wonky boob."

there's certainly several people that could confirm or deny this one. any takers?

"i heard charlie would rather sleep his way to the top than work for it. fucking mythological creatures in the name of science."

omg the centaurs! i heard centaurs--you think he's really doing it like that? if so, i know it's not for science.

"after whatever calliope did to nico, some might think that he's been corrupted by the other side."

oh fuck, can she do this? is this a thing that can happen? someone better check, and quick, before he can sabotage anything! or anything else...

"avi doesn't seem like he has that much trust in himself. i've heard that he's not the same since he came back from the dead. my guess is that magnolia or hart took over his body."

you're saying we have TWO interlopers? right under our noses, jfc!

"is it just me or does andreas and nico seem to have a thing for each other?"

oh i've been thinking this! they definitely have a special connection. andreas should keep an eye out for selenur for us! that's the best persona for the job, keep close to nico, and they'll probably do it for free!

"i heard a satyr say that greyson fucks ghosts"

and it would be so easy and no one would know! he literally lives with them!

"i heard kitty making horse noises to herself, is she delusional?"

i don't have the dsm5 open in front of me, so i'm not entirely sure, but i wouldn't put it past her. kitty's just a little cuckoo; she's the horse girl your cool friends warned you about.

"avi smells like rotted day old pizza. he reeks!"

is it that bad? he's probably scared to wash between his cheeks, poor thing; a really terminal case of incel. actually...since he's constantly rejecting holli, does that make him volcel? brb going to get him kicked off his fav quarantined reddit subs.

"nico is always walking around like a stick in the mud. lighten up dude!!!!"

lighten up! you're not even that old! you don't have to lie to kick it, nico, you're just as messy and nasty as everyone else.

"biggest floozy?? bet it's our favorite nature-loving bark boy."

now we're getting somewhere! i bet there's some people out there with some real good stories and i want to hear them! i know kit isn't all doe eyed wonder and nature's harmony...or maybe his last shock wasn't a fluke and he just does whatever anyone asks all the time...

"why does greyson smell like hot topic? yiiiikes"

audience, i'll take the leap for all of us, and assume this contributor means he tries too hard to be edgy. you're welcome. if the earlier greyson entry was true, this one definitely isn't.

"is it just me or does ganymede look like a yassified version of andreas?"

i don't want this to come off like complaining, but you're not wrong. maybe they're related--pretty sure i've heard someone else say this too. couldn't hurt to assume.

"i bet if corban cut his hair he'd be a solid 9..."

corban, you got a date lined up if you want it! get a stylist and come getcha man!

"holli is short for hollandaise."

like real name? like her mom calls her that? no wonder she's fucked up.

and that's all folks! hope you enjoyed! i always want to hear feedback, and if you weren't mentioned but want to be: be less boring, do more crime, and a healthy dose of scandal.

#chbonews #morgan #corban #erasmo #holli #charlie #nico #avi #andreas #greyson #kitty #kit

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tiggeybadger · 1 year

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I Met a Guy - It went wrong and I need advice...

It's gone so wrong and while I believe his behaviour has been beyond anything anyone would put up with, sometimes I don't know whether I'm wrong or right. So I figured, why not just ask? Get a collective opinion and see whether I'm being rational or I've turned into a total nut. Perhaps I can also get some healthy perspective and see what is really real because right now I'm not strong enough to leave.

So... I met a guy in June 2018, a 41 year old man with a 4 year old daughter. I was 36 at the time. We fell in love, quickly and passionately. We had met each other a few times before and flirted but the timing hadn't been right. I'd been single for 5 years after a bad relationship, moved abroad to get some space and just didn't want anyone. I didn't mind being single and wasn't playing the field. I was just happy being me without anyone dictating what I did or where I went. It was liberating. I got two dogs and loved my work. Then, at a friend's wedding, I'd had too much to drink. A friend of mine had just had a heart transplant, another had a brain tumour so I hadn't been in the mood to celebrate. A friend had come over and insisted I went to the wedding. She helped me get ready and forced me out the door.

The wedding was nice, I got cornered by a woman far drunker than me for an age and, several times, I wondered what I was doing there. Finding the dance floor, I had at least 10 left feet and eventually wondered off to get a taxi, probably tripping over my own shoes most of the way. I sat at the entrance waiting for a car to turn up. Sat on a low curb at the beautiful but isolated venue, drunk in an expensive dress, and went to lean back on the wall behind me. Only there wasn't one. With no elegance at all, I admit that I fell into the bush behind me, but a hand reached out and helped me up. He then escorted me to his taxi, offered to take me to my door, waited until I was safely inside with the door closed and went home. The next day I had a message asking if I was okay and if I really did want to see him again... but that it was fine if I hadn't meant it and he'd just be pleased to hear I was okay.

I messaged and said I was fine and thanked him for ensuring I got home okay. We chatted for a few weeks over messenger, but i was really a bit too embarrassed to meet him again. The it was the football, I was with friends and he offered to come and meet us. I figured I was with a group and it would be okay - it was more than okay. Everyone else left but we stayed.

He messaged me beautiful messages for the next month, while I responded occasionally, while thinking if I really wanted to trust someone again. I'd gone to London for a week for my Mum's 70th and family friends had encouraged me to take a chance on someone since it had been a long time. I got back, I did and things moved fast. On our third official date, I told him that I wanted kids and, if he didn't want more, there was no point in us seeing each other anymore. He didn't really respond. The next day I regretting being so up front, but I had friends of my age that had fallen in love, only to find the new love of their life didn't share their vision. My next date with, let's call him Harry, he said "I've been thinking about what you said, let's do it". I freaked out! I hadn't meant now, I'd meant there had to be the possibility, since he already had a child. He saw I was running in my mind and laughted and asked "why not? Give me a reason?". The truth was, I couldn't. We were so right together. He didn't want his daughter to be too much older than her potential siblings and I wanted kids. We did the same job, understood the same world and wanted the same things.

We dined out, stayed in, hugged, kissed (a lot), we made a sofa den so we could lie together and still face the TV. We messaged each other constantly from work and glowed with the possibilities and support we found in each other. We had mutual friends who had nothing but positive things to say about us and it felt like we were on top of the world.

We also made a baby pretty quickly. 3.5 months after we met, I was pregnant. We weren't living together yet and my friend was visiting when I did the test. I called him and he was there in minutes, making love to me my sofa while my friend made herself scarce in the bedroom.

We were glowing, then I briefly thought I'd lost the baby but even then he was there every step of the way, coming with me to the appointment and holding my hand the whole time. A week later, the doctor told us it hadn't been the miscarriage we'd assumed and we were overwhelmed by the rollercoaster but incredibly happy. We started to plan for a family, the first for me and a new start for him. We told his daughter, who had been demanding a sibling and, while she was a bit confused, all was well and exciting.

There's nothing attractive about pregnancy, literally nothing at all. I'll happily concede that, and give credit to any man who makes his partner feel beautiful during and shortly after this period. I was a size 8 when we met, probably a 10 when I got pregnant (we'd eaten in and out a lot) then I had a massive belly, couldn't bend down to tie my own shoes and farted a lot. Maybe, then, with good reason, "Harry" started reading when he went to bed rather than talking or making love to me. I assumed it was the pregnancy and hoped things would improve once the baby came. He'd also lost his well-paid job so, I kitted the house out on my savings and salary and didn't think too much of it, assuming everything would be back to normal soon enough. On our first anniversary, he took me to a nice restaurant but when the taxi pulled up outside our house he said he was going for a drink with a friend, as it was his friend's stag do. I was due in the hospital 2 days later. He came back at 7am, showered and lay prostrate on the sofa the next day. I packed my hospital bag without help and was pretty pissed off. I went in the next day and in the morning, Junior 1 was born. Harry was proud for sure. However, Junior 1 wasn't an easy baby, he had colic and would be up until 6am screaming the whole time and it lasted for months. Harry didn't help much and I was surprised and hurt. There was a night I had a UTI but managed to fall asleep and he was so cross about being left to look after the baby, he kicked the back of the sofa and walked away with me to look after him again. When I asked for sleep, he would agree but be "busy". On the rare occasions he did let me sleep (3 or 4 times in 8 months), tell me he'd given Junior a bottle only for everything to be exactly where I'd left it. From this point on, I believe he has only intermittently engaged again.

Junior 1 was difficult but we had agreed to a second baby. We weren't having sex and he'd lost his job a second time after only 4 months, not because he wasn't good but because he was expensive and the company wanted to save money. I was back at work and my just above average salary just about covered our combined bills. I transferred money to him to live on so he didn't have to ask when I could. But my salary at that time should have been enough to save on and see me through an extended maternity leave the second time round. His comment on finding out about the second baby was far from the reaction to the first when he was by my side and excited from another house and in minutes. Instead, it was "well that was what you wanted" without getting up from the sofa. He'd agreed with the timing, he was party to the act, albeit without the passion of the first pregnancy. We hadn't had sex for months, junior 2 was a lucky second go strike. With the world pandemic, he didn't work for another 14 months and became more and more distant. He was playing video games 16 hours a day while I worked, paid the bills and the nanny, finished at 6pm or paid her to stay later if I had to work late, bathed Junior 1 and put him to bed, cooked and often washed up. I was then asked at 10:30pm to put headphones in if I wanted to watch TV as he wanted to stream.

When Junior 2 arrived he it was during covid. He was his old self again, taking me to the hospital early in the morning (3am), organising the nanny to come and being great with the kids while I was in hospital. We took on a bigger house on my salary a month or so later as the perfect home came up and we assumed he would get a job soon. He'd not picked up the grocery bills again, including food for his daughter, since May 2019 so we were now running a split total which was increasing massively as he didn't appreciate how much it was costing. But at this point, it had been 18 months with me being increasingly disillusioned and alone in parenting. I would put dinner on, do junior 1's bath, come back to serve dinner and sometimes wash up as well, while we were living on my maternity income in a house we couldn't afford. I'd planned to I would have been able to take extended maternity leave but the money was all gone.

Three months after Junior 2 was born, just before we moved to the new house, he got another job and a very good one. It was 50% more than his previous salary with a boss he liked and a company he believed in. We were thrilled, he had a new energy and confidence.

Within three months he was away as much as he was home. Being "professional social" he called it. We work in the same industry and it's a work hard, play hard one. His reputation was as a solid (maybe boring) but experienced senior person. He had never been part of the play hard crowd, or rather he had, but he was the grounding force and rock amongst wayward colleagues and friends. Exactly what I'd fallen in love with.

That's the background.

Then as of June 2021, covid started to lift and he had this new job. He met influential people that elevated his status in the relatively small community we live in. He started circulating with people that have a lot of money and at the age of 44, I suspected he was less the rock and more part of the problem. Gradually, at first, but increasingly he was swept up like a cigarette paper in a hurricane. I blamed the people around him but was wisely told that people make their own decisions. It's true that speaking to the people I had blamed, some I knew, some i didn't, only proved that the only person responsible for Harry's actions was him. Late 2021, his daughter's would be step-father died tragically, her mother understandably needed time but he didn't cancel his trip and was out with investors, leaving me with Junior 0 alone for 10 days, grieving and wanting her parents rather than me. For the record, Junior 0 is an amazing kid that I adore and her mother someone I get on exceptionally well with.

We wanted our son and his daughter in a particular school. He told me not to apply and that he had contacts, I chased from Nov 2021 until late Sept 2022 only to get told each time I was a “nag”. Our son was registered with the local comp the working day before school started, meaning as a new parent I missed all the introductions.

Multiple conferences have followed where he didn't call, lied about going in the first place or when he was coming home, hasn’t called the kids, hasn’t turned up or said he was on his way home and didn't show. He's missed appointments for his kids, isn't and doesn't organise anything when they need something and the landlord turned up on our door saying we were 8 months behind on the rent (second time he's lied about paying and hasn't). That's embarrassing for me, as I've never missed a payment in my life. I paid for the sundries, he paid for the rent and it balanced out about the same. Only he didn't pay it.

His father died in May 2022 and he was suddenly a dedicated family man again - with the kids, not with me. 3 months later he went out, came back at 7am with crap all over his knees, hid his trousers under the bed and lied repeatedly about what had happened. We live in a dry place, he said it was water on the road when it hadn't rained for 2 months.

Probably not in order but things got worse with more non-payment for things and lying about it, not turning up for appointments for all his kids, finding drugs in the house, he bought condoms that clearly weren't for us, he went to every conference for extended periods and has been going out at home until 7am. I'm generally being left alone for the most part with our 2 kids and regularly his daughter as well.

I think anyone would say that the relationship is over, and probably was a long time ago. I think I know that but because of the kids i haven't left. So the confessions of love between being out I want to believe but I know I can't really. So has anyone been in this situation that can help?

What do I do please?

#relationships #advice #leave or not to leave

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c0s-lettuce · 3 years

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neighbours - loki x reader, part one

a/n: ragnarok loki is the best! i hope you enjoy! let me know if you're interested in a part 2 :D

word count: 941

warnings: mentions of death, reader swears, alcohol

series masterlist - part two >

Loki dying a second time did not do any favours. After the battle with the Dark Elves on Svartalfheim, you stood by as Thor cradled him. As you watched Loki die, you didn't know how to feel. You still don't.

After Svartalfheim, nothing was keeping you in Asgard anymore. Frigga and Loki were dead, and Thor had also left. So you went up to Heimdall and told him to send you somewhere far away.

You braced yourself for the journey. The Bifrost ride was particularly bumpy, and after a crash landing, you were met a strange, colourful trash planet.

"Where the hell..." you muttered.

Soon you were found by a woman known as Scrapper 142, but she told you to call her Val. She then took you to meet the Grandmaster. Strange man, you thought. But seeing as he's the supposed ruler of the planet, you opted to be nice to him.

------

Several years later, you're living comfortably in Sakaar. You have a job as a 'groundskeeper' of sorts. After every fight, you'd clean up and make the arena ready for the next battle. You have your own place to live. You hang out with Val (who constantly reminds you how lucky you were that she ran out of obedience disks the day she found you). And you eat the food Sakaar has to offer, which you found gross at first but have grown to enjoy.

It was nice. Other than cleaning the arena, you had no responsibilities. You were carefree.

That was until a certain someone showed up. Loki.

You don't know where he came from or how he got here. But here he is, across the room in one of the Grandmaster's daily parties.

You watch him from the bar. He looks good, you won't lie. But seeing him after so many years brings up long lost feelings and memories. You hadn't even properly mourned him, though now it's evident that mourning would've been unnecessary. Suddenly, you feel dizzy.

After one final chug of your drink, you get up and make a beeline for the exit.

You hear your name being called out from behind.

Shit.

You speed up, eyes trained on the door. You're almost there until...

Your name is called out again, this time from right in front of you.

"Oh, for the love of... what do you want?" you say, exasperated.

"What do I want? Darling, I haven't seen you in years." Loki says.

"Yeah, maybe because you're supposed to be dead." you move to walk around him, "and don't call me darling."

Loki stops you, "Ok, look, I know you're upset, but it was all part of my plan to take my father's throne."

"Right, right, because being king is more important to you than literally anything else."

"No, I just-"

"What are you even doing here?"

"I, uh, fell out of the Bifrost and landed here... What are you doing here?

"This is where I've been since Svartalfheim."

"Wait, really?"

"Mhm. And I've had a pretty nice life up until right now."

Loki looks at you, confused, "Look, just let me explain-"

You continue, "I don't want to hear it, ok? I have stuff to do. Now please, get out of my way."

Loki doesn't say anything. You recognise a sliver of sadness in his eyes. He exhales and steps aside. You take this opportunity to leave, but just as you reach the door, he calls out to you again.

"Promise we'll talk?"

You pause for a second, still facing away from Loki, and continue to walk away.

------

Days later, you sit at the bar alone in an empty room. There's a small fight in the arena right now, and to kill time before you have to get to work, you have a drink.

But your peace is yet again interrupted by Loki, who takes a seat next to you.

"What now?" you ask him.

"I just want to talk," he says.

"I don't..."

"I need to tell you what happened."

"Hey, you two," the Grandmaster saunters into the room. You and Loki greet him, "What are you both doing here?"

"Oh y'know," you say, "just chatting."

The Grandmaster nods with his signature sly smile on his face, "Cool, cool. Do you two know each other?"

"Yes, we do," Loki tells him, "we used to be a coupl-"

"Neighbours!" you stand and interrupt, "We used to be neighbours. Yeah, we're, uh... both from Asgard."

"Ohhh," the Grandmaster chimes, "wow, what a small universe."

"Yeah, real small..." you let out a nervous laugh, "Listen, I gotta get to fixing up the arena. I'll see you later."

The Grandmaster bids you farewell. You give him a pat on the shoulder, knowing from Val that physical affections are the easiest way to get paid extra units.

You flash the Grandmaster a smile as you leave the room.

------

On your way back from the arena, you find Loki in the same spot at the bar. You inwardly groan. Loki notices your presence.

"Neighbours, really?" Loki speaks up.

You exhale and walk towards him, "What did you want me to say? That we were lovers? That you faked your death twice to fulfil your own selfish desires?"

'"Oh come on, it's not like that."

"You abandoned me."

"I didn't mean to, truly I didn't. Please, just let me explain."

Seconds pass as you give Loki a solid stare-down. Loki looks back with pleading eyes. You silently curse because you know full well that Loki knows his eyes were always a weakness of yours.

"Fine," you walk behind the bar, unscrew a bottle of liquor and face him, "I'm listening."

➸

#marvel #mcu #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki x you #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson #valkyrie #ragnarok #thor ragnarok #disney+#movies

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psychomorphary · 2 years

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So I just had another revelation, related to my last post about hypersexuality.

BE AWARE THIS POST HAS REFERENCES TO DEATH AND SEXUAL EXPERIENCES IN CHILDHOOD!!!

When I get triggered over something {which is usually death, loss, being alone, being abandoned, not being accepted}, various symptoms rear their ugly heads, one of which is hypersexuality.

I remember at least one period in high school, I spent a lot of time on my laptop in my room. I found myself on forums and chatrooms, talking to older people: adults. I was sexualized, but I fed off of that, giving out photos, video-chatting, etc. I'm pretty sure that I'd lost my best friend before this happened. We were best friends one school year, and the next, we were strangers. We had really clicked, and I admit that I loved her. {I'm just not sure if it was romantically or platonically.}

I think losing my best friend and being alone again subconsciously reminded me of the death of my mother when I was six. I think that memory has been triggered several times. I know it's been triggered into my present several times throughout my relationship with my husband. We've had some rocky roads; we've fought. Just like anyone else has. But I've never been able to handle that normal day-to-day stuff. If I feel rejected at all, my body is on the alert, and I immediately go into thoughts of, "He's gonna leave, just like everyone else." and "You're gonna die alone because no one could ever love you!" And it doesn't have to even be real rejection. It doesn't need to be anything drastic. The other person might not even do anything, but if I perceive anything negative in the interaction, I automatically think they hate me and are leaving. I feel the exact same way that I did when my mom died.

Now, I can get a wide range of symptoms after being triggered. But the one I want to talk about is hypersexuality. I already mentioned the episode in high school. I've had two periods of this during my marriage. Late Winter/Early Spring 2018 and Summer 2019. They started with simple arguments that went to me feeling like I was abandoned. So what did I do? I told him we were getting a divorce. He moved out both times. Each time, I started finding people online and meeting up with them for sex.

My husband wasn't intending on leaving me when we got into those arguments. But I've felt abandoned and alone all my childhood, which is constantly rearing its head again and again. I've also dealt with and witnessed a lot of criticisms, arguments, and straight-up screaming matches while I was a kid. I think both of those helped make me feel that I was bad, unlovable, and would always be alone. So now when I'm criticized or get into an argument, those feelings and memories flood back and I get overwhelmed.

I left my husband both those times because I just knew that he was going to leave me, so I should do it first to get it over with. But I felt so alone, so I reached out for one-night stands in a desperate attempt to not be alone, to be accepted by someone. I just don't realize that's not the kind of acceptance I want or need.

I think my shadow self is tied into this because growing up, I was taught that sex wasn't talked about. Sex wasn't talked about because it was bad. And because it was bad, you shouldn't think about it or get involved with it. But I was a kid, and I was curious. My peers and I were quickly starting puberty. The other kids were talking about puberty and sex. A lot said that their parents had "the talk" with them. They didn't talk about it a lot with their parents, but they still talked a lot more than my dad and I. All I got was "It's bad; leave it alone." But I was curious, and being told no just made me more curious. And all the other kids seemed obsessed with sex. I wanted to fit in, but I felt like an outsider because I had no idea what they were talking about.

I had tried to push this down since I was told it was bad. But I think I made it my shadow self. And when I get triggered, various aspects of my shadow self show themselves. Sometimes, it's hypersexuality. When hypersexuality shows itself, I think I'm trying to do two things: 1. Acknowledge/accept/love my shadow self and 2. Get acknowledgement/acceptance/love from others.

I think initially, my shadow self might just start a mutiny and take over during trigger moments. Sometimes, I fight my shadow self, or my shadow self just quickly retreats back into its hole. But sometimes, I cling to my shadow self being out in the open. I think it's subconsciously validating for me to do this; my shadow self craves this. And thus, I think it becomes a sort of coping mechanism for me, albeit a destructive one. It's validating and comforting to finally give into my shadow self, even if I might know that it's not good for me. I think this is because I never truly accepted my shadow self or learned how to live in harmony with it. So my selves are constantly fighting with each other, and my shadow self is constantly looking for love and validation.

I think if I can learn to accept my shadow self and give it a voice then my selves will properly merge, and my moods/personality won't be at such extremes all the time. I think if I can finally work with my shadow self, it will chill out and not be so extreme.

#revelation #mental health journal #mental health #shadow work #weed thoughts #weed revelations #childhood trauma #hyper sex drive #hypersexuality

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step-on-me-khun · 3 years

Text

Your Voice Ch.3 - timeskip!Kenma x reader

Still can't really say anything about how consistently I'll write or post a chapter.

(C/N) = Country name or city name, your choice really. Also, I know I haven't stated it, but it's female or girl name reader. Later chapters will be NSFW, just warning you all now.

[[Ch.2]] - [[Ch.4]]

SFW/NSFW

Warnings: Cursing, that's all

Words Count:

Kenma never really had much to look forward to. There wasn't a rush to play one of his games as soon as he got up out of bed. He would take his time and shower first, get something to eat, and then play whatever video game he felt like playing.

He was sure that you would stream today, so he took time off from streaming himself. No feelings of nervousness or anxiety were there in his head or stomach. There wasn't any need for it, really. But there was a tinge of excitement in him.

He was constantly checking to see if you were recording. There was a lot of questions still in his head that he wanted answers to. But you were practically a stranger, and he had never talked to you before.

Kenma was never really one for starting conversations with someone new, but he knew that he had to take a step forward and try.

His hands were busy pressing the buttons and fiddling with the joystick on his controller. The game would pause every now and again, but it was so Kenma could check on his phone to see if you were online.

Time went by, the small rays of light coming from outside began to fade the longer he played. It was seven at night, and it had been a whole week since you had last streamed. He was getting more and more impatient. He had turned the notification settings on so that he was alerted to you.

That's what he was looking down at right now. He would never admit defeat, but damn was he close to it.

Just as the screen of his phone turned black, a notification popped up. It was you, and you were streaming. His face lit up, eyes widened.

It was as if he was in a rush like he would miss your stream. He immediately exited the game he was playing and turned his computer on.

His fingers clicked on the mouse impatiently, each click bringing him closer to listening to you again. He had thought of not interacting with you yet, but as he got to your stream, he quickly abandoned that idea.

Music played as the screen switched colours slowly. He rested his arms next to each other on the table, his chin resting on them as he kept his eyes on the monitor.

He was thinking about hosting your stream, but he didn't want to do it yet. His foot tapped on the floor impatiently.

"Hey guys, I'm just setting myself up. I'll be with you all in a minute," your voice says. Kenma was soon snapped out of his impatience.

It felt weird to him. He had heard your voice before, but it felt like he was hearing it for the first time again.

He wanted to know everything about you still. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if you told the stream you lived in Japan.

"Okay," you say as you sit down, the screen showing the same shooting game as before. "Sorry, I'm late today guys, it's just been a weird day,"

Kenma wasn't complaining. It wasn't really a problem that you were late. It was Kenma's first time watching your stream. He had so many questions. Hopefully, he wouldn't sound too creepy asking them.

You were busy reading out some of the messages from the chat as the game loaded.

"'Why don't you stream with anyone?' Well, that's because I don't really know a lot of people to stream or game with,"

So you were either shy or didn't like telling people you liked gaming.

He decided to ask his own question.

"'Don't you have friends to game with?' Uhh, no, not really. I'm a socially awkward mess,"

So, you were someone who enjoyed gaming but had trouble connecting with people? That sounded too damn familiar. He could tell that you were uncomfortable with the questions you were getting. He could hear it in the tone of your voice as you answer your chat.

"'What country do you live in?' You must be new here. I know I've said before that I lived in (C/N), but now I live not too far from Tokyo,"

So, you lived in Japan, not too far from Kenma, and you had limited social skill, probably because you might've only just moved to Japan. Was this all really this easy?

"I've only lived here for a while. I've not really made much of an impression on anyone here." There was some sadness in how you said that.

If Kenma didn't know Kuroo or become friends with him, he could've been in the same shoes as you. It was clear that you did want to make friends, but you found it difficult to. Maybe it was a good thing that you were viewed by Kenma.

"'I live not far from Tokyo, too.' I don't know if that's a bad or a good thing," you say, stopping the game for a minute to browse at his own profile. You were expecting him to be a small streamer, with maybe the same amount of viewer as you. It shocked you to see that this person had more than triple your viewer count. "H-how did you find me? There're so many other streamers, I'm just a small percentage of them,"

"'I fell asleep at the computer with the mouse still in my hand, and I accidentally clicked on your stream, and I don't regret it.' Fuck, umm, I don't know what to say to that. Why didn't you get some sleep before then?"

"'I don't know, I didn't even know I clicked on your stream until your voice woke me up.' M-my voice?" You were shocked. You sat on your gaming chair, gobsmacked by this situation.

'You didn't sound like a loud person. Your voice is kind of calming. I know this is my first time actually watching you, but I look forward to watching your future streams,'

Not like anyone noticed it, but your face heated up. It was a good thing that you didn't record your face. It would've been embarrassing to see yourself like this.

You then got on with your game. The sound of gunshots and footsteps filled Kenma's ears as you concentrated on the game. He admired your level of concentration as you played, not getting caught off guard or getting distracted by anything.

Kenma was enjoying himself, not like it was apparent his eyes never left the screen.

The game went on for several more rounds. Sometimes you would win, but other time you wouldn't. The number of rounds you were playing wasn't really something Kenma had kept track of.

"Well, I think that's enough for now. Sorry for being so quiet. This stream has just made my mind gone blank," you say, exiting the game. "Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it, and thanks for any donations. I'm debating streaming more than once a week. Let me know if you'd be interested in that. Anyway, I better get going. It's nearly two in the morning where I am. Night guys, talk to you again soon, too, newcomer,"

Kenma wasn't expecting you to call him out like that. It wasn't as if you knew his name. It just surprised him. Maybe this was one of the few things that Kenma would think of as fun. Every second of your stream was something he had enjoyed. He just wished he got to hear you talk more.

taglist

General

@jaundrew @aoi-turtle

Just for this story

@kaieoh @zjmbaek @bqkuho3 @kryptidkova

Don't be afraid to message me and ask to be added to the taglist, or removed, I don't mind.

#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #kenma kozume #kenma kuzome #kenma x reader #kozume kenma #haikyuu kenma #kenma x you #hq kenma #kenma #haikyuu #hq x y/n #hq x reader

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crazy-fan-girl-c137 · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday (Connor x Reader)

Note: So, I decided to also write a very short, one shot fanfic from DBH fandom because I've been obsessing with it AGAIN. Thank to DE. Haha! Anyway, I had this idea because it's my birthday and that inspired to write this short fic.

To anyone who's also celebrating their birthday today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎉🎈🎂♥

P.S. Sorry for the bad grammar. English isn't my mother tongue. Also, I am not a writer. I'm an artist. I draw and design stuff. I just really like writing. 😂😂😂

Pairing: Connor x Reader

Word Count: 1,879

Also: L/N = Last Name and N/N = Nickname

It's your birthday. But to you, it's just like any ordinary day.

You never told anyone your birthday because you never celebrated it. Not because you hated it, or you're trying to get out of the responsibility of treating your friends for a drink or something. It's just that, you didn't see the point of occasionally celebrating it.

And it wasn't just your birthday that you don't celebrate, even the holidays.

So, despite it being your birthday, you treated the day just like any other work day. Besides, you were too busy finishing all your reports that's due that day. You didn't have time to get distracted because you didn't want Fowler yelling at you again.

It was already late at night. You, and a few other people were the only ones left at the precinct. You just finished typing the last report of the day when someone suddenly tapped your shoulders.

You flinched in shock before you turned your chair to see who it was. "Connor?"

Connor stood in front of you, a large box on his arms. "Happy birthday, detective L/N!"

You stared at him, blinking a few times. You were dumbfounded. "How did you- nevermind." You cut yourself off, reminding yourself that Connor still is an android, despite him turning into a deviant. He probably got that information from your profile.

"Here, open it." He urged like a child excited for their Christmas present, as he handed you the large box.

Despite your tiredness and sleepiness, as soon as you opened the box, you're face lit up. "You didn't." You told him as you pulled out a German Shepherd puppy from the box. "Connor…"

"I've noticed that you always volunteer to look after Sumo when Hank and I are away. And you always stop on your tracks to pet a dog when you're walking outside. I also saw on your social media accounts that you used to have a German Shepherd named Max when you were 12 years old." Connor informed.

"Wow." You chuckled. "You really did your research."

"I wanted to give you the perfect gift."

You almost blushed at his statement. You've been attracted to him ever since you started working as a detective. But you never acknowledge it because you wanted to focus on your work.

But lately, he had been acting kinder and sweeter to you, which makes it difficult for you to ignore you feelings. It makes you wonder…does Connor like me too?

"This is perfect. Thank you, Connor." You replied, giving him a genuine smile.

He stared at you for a few seconds, his LED flickering to yellow, before he finally spoke. "You're welcome, Detective L/N."

"I told you. Just call me N/N."

"N/N." He repeated, the corner of his lips forming a small smile. "What would you name your dog?" He curiously asked.

"I'm not sure yet. Why don't you name it?" You suggested.

You watched as Connor's LED flickered to yellow once more, then back to blue. "What about Happy?"

"Happy." You smiled. "Why Happy?"

"Because I noticed how your mood improved when you saw him. You were happy. He makes you happy."

"You make me happy, Connor." You replied. But your eyes immediately widened as soon as you realized what you just said. "I-I mean-" You stuttered, trying to make your situation less awkward.

But Connor had cut you off. "Seeing you happy makes me happy." He replied with a smile. A real, humanly smile.

And it made your heart flutter as your cheeks finally blush.

"Where's Hank?" You asked, trying to hide your blush as you cradled the puppy on your arms.

Connor's eyes widened as if he was just reminded of something. "Let's go to Jimmy's Bar."

"What?" You looked at him with a confused expression on your face.

"It's your birthday, we should celebrate."

You told Connor that you still had to finalize your reports, but he insisted on waiting for you. You didn't want to bother his precious time, so you tried to reason. But after several attempts, and him bring stubborn, you finally gave up.

It only took you about 30 minutes before you finished finalizing your reports and sending it to Fowler. You and Connor finally left the precinct after that, and drove to Jimmy's Bar using your car. You didn't expect anything from there, except maybe having a drink with Connor, even though he's incapable of it.

But when both of you got there, you were surprised to see a crowd of people greeting you; All your close friends at the precinct was present.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all yelled as soon as you walked in.

"What…" You were at a loss for words. You were astonished. You never thought this would ever happened to you.

"What? You think you can just go home and not celebrate your own birthday?" Hank teased.

"How did…"

"Connor told us."

You turned to Connor, and he had the goofiest grin on his face. You felt your heart flutter once again, another blush creeping into your cheeks.

Everyone greeted you, coming up to you one by one, and presenting you their own gifts. You almost cried. You never had a birthday party as an adult. The last birthday party you had was when you were still little. You didn't even expect anyone would be throwing a party for you.

And just like a normal birthday party, they had a cake prepared for you to make a wish on as they sing Happy Birthday.

You spend the whole night chatting and laughing with your friends, while drinking beers and sharing the large cake they bought for you. And finally, after a few hours of partying, everyone started to go home, wishing one last happy birthday.

It is work night anyways.

It came to a point where it was only you, Hank, Connor and Jimmy was left at the bar.

"Alright. I think I've had enough for the night." Hank announced, standing up from his seat while taking one last sip at his drink.

"Is Connor going to drive you home?" You asked as you walk him out of the bar. Of course, you were concerned for him. He's like a father figure to you. Just like he is to Connor.

"Kid. I always drive home drunk." He replied confidently, making you chuckle. "Where is that android anyway?"

"I think he's discussing something with Jimmy." You replied, pointing back at the bar.

"So, he got you the dog eh?" He asked, scratching the ears of the puppy that you were cradling on your arms.

"Yeah." You smiled, looking down at Happy, a faint blush appearing on your cheeks as it reminded you of earlier events.

"You know, this was all Connor's idea." Hank suddenly said, making you snap your head at him.

Your eyes widened as you stared. "What?" You asked in disbelief.

You thought it was like a group idea. Like all your friends gathered up to make this party happen. You didn't know this was all Connor's.

"He organized all of this. Even paid for everything. Lover boy's got it hard for you." Hank chuckled.

Before you could say anything, Connor came out of the bar, approaching you and Hank.

"Hey, Connor. I was just about to leave." Hank greeted.

"Okay." He nodded. "Is everything alright, N/N?" He asked in concern as he noticed you staring at him with a surprised expression written all over your face.

"I-I'm fine." You replied after a few seconds.

"She's just tired." Hank added, helping you out on your situation. "Get her home safe, will you?"

"Sure, Hank." Connor nodded.

"Alright. I'll see you kids tomorrow. Good night." Hank waved both of you good night as he walked to his car.

"Good night."

"Did you like your gift, N/N?" Connor curiously asked as he drove you back to your place.

"I love it." You replied, smiling at him. "Thank you for tonight, Connor."

"You're welcome, N/N."

It wasn't a long ride to your home. You and Connor spent the rest of it in comfortable silence as you listen to whatever was on the radio. And finally, after 15 minutes, you arrived.

Connor walked you to your front door, helping you carry all the gifts you recieved from your friends.

But before you unlock the door, you turned to him and asked, "Why did you do this? I mean, I appreciate it so much. I'm just curious because no one ever done this for me before."

Connor placed down the gifts he was carrying. He didn't respond immediately though. He just stared at you for a while as if he was in deep thought. You watched as his LED turned from blue to yellow and then back to blue.

"Connor?" You asked.

And finally, he replied, "When you first came to the precinct, the moment I first saw you, I felt something that I didn't understand. It was a knew feeling that I've never felt before. I found myself constantly wanting your company, and wanting to make you smile. And when I asked Hank about it, he explained to me that what I was feeling is love. I asked him what love is for a human and he explained it to me. But, it was still a little confusing to me that time, that's why I never said anything to you.

When I found out that it's your birthday, I knew I had to do something special for you. Because that's how humans do it, and because you're special…to me. Then earlier this morning, I realized what Hank was telling me before about love. I now understood what he meant. That's why I knew I have to finally tell you that…I love you."

You felt your heart bursted inside your chest. An overwhelming excitement and happiness filled your emotions. You couldn't help but pull Connor into a kiss. You felt his lips on yours. It was cold but soft.

He didn't move for a few seconds, and you thought he had short circuited. You noticed the light from his LED turning yellow, to red, to yellow, and back to blue. But when you were about to pull from the kiss, his hands slowly snaked it's way from your waist to your back. He pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss as he finally responded back.

You felt like you were in the old movies. Fireworks exploded inside you. Your heart beat fast and your stomach turned into a knot. His lips was soft against yours, like a delicate butterfly fluttering its wings. It wasn't like anything you felt before.

After a while, you pulled back to catch your breath. A smile creeped on both your faces as you rested your forehead on his.

"Humans said that the first kiss is the best kiss. And I strongly agree with that." He told you, making you chuckle.

"Is this your first kiss ever?" You asked, lightly pulling your face away to take a better look at him.

"It is."

"Well," You replied, planting another soft kiss on his. "it's not going to be the only kiss."

He looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed, LED turning yellow. "What do you mean?" He curiously asked.

"I love you too, Connor."

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frogsandfries · 7 years

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My asthma is super fucked up

Like, I know how the rabbits fuck up my asthma. I know.

But I brought my dad the water for the rabbits and his friend's cat, and I'm standing chatting with him from outside the bus. He turns to me and tells me, the kitten is in my bus.

I don't know if I've mentioned, but his friend and her two girls are in a very unstable situation. A few months ago, shortly after I got thrown out, she got thrown out, along with a dog, cat and rabbit. She had to foster out the dog and it's still unclear if they're taking the dog back or even helping fund the dog's care. A few weeks ago, she left the motel, since it's so expensive, and tried to stay with a friend. Now she's back at the motel. When she left, she left her rabbit and cat in my dad's care.

From the sounds of it, Thursday or Friday, she got a barnyard kitten for the girls -_-# A kitten who, as it turns out, she wasn't going to take to the vet until it turns out the kitten was very sick--not only does she have a cold, she also has an eye infection. The eye infection appears to be clearing up, but she sneezed several times, and she's kind of shnuffly.

The reason I bring up the two animals my dad is already caring for is that there are already two of them. And they are in the bus, which can be warmer than outside during winter, but it's no haven from the cold. My dad told her not to leave the kitten in the bus, while she was sick.........

My dad and I spoke tensely for a while--with my asthma being out of control lately and it being very cold this past week, I've been staying with my parents...... not in the van. I'm fairly close (if I could just get my dad motivated, but that's another post) to having things ready to cut the roof off--definitely this weekend, if I have to freeze to death to do it. We have no way of knowing how long the kitten was outside, but I don't think she was in there overnight.

So we took her to the van and that's where I am. I was going to have her out, but she's a baby, she's sick, and she was getting pissed at my hands, clawing, trying to bite--she even hissed after I tapped her nose in reproach. So I put her away. I don't know if she's been to the vet, been vaccinated, anything. I'm not going to let her puncture my skin and make me even more sick.

She was furious to be put away, of course, but she eventually calmed down and even ate.

I hope I haven't just inherited a kitten, but this is where my dad's friend wanted to keep the kitten....... This van still has a lot of work that needs to be done before I'll be comfortable, let alone comfortable having something in here besides myself........ but idk who knows I guess?

I'm pretty mad because I'm going to work on roof stuff this week, kitten or no, but the kitten will need to stay in the carrier, even when I can run the heat constantly at least until the loft is done--the big tank will be affixed to the roof somehow, possibly using leftover roof, and the cost of fuel in a large tank is far from prohibitive. I'm mad because I feel manipulated. I'm mad and incredibly disappointed, but how do you tell an adult, a parent that is not your own, that you are disappointed with them? I'm mad because now I'm taking care of something that I'm not really equipped to deal with. I may be impulsive and compulsive, but I've always protected myself during sex, and I didn't want an animal until my situation was settled. There's a difference between spending your last seventy bucks going out to eat and getting something alive when you aren't ready to take care of it.

For now, I've got the heat on, but when the can runs out, I usually turn off the heater till the can defrosts. We haven't bothered setting up the big can since I'm finishing the roof this weekend. She's got one of those cheap fleece blankets from Wal-Mart, a woven blanket and a bigger fleece blanket folded up, and she's in the carrier. Hopefully that keeps her warm enough. But I hate to say, I think an ER visit is in my future. One of those rescue tabs I've been using isn't working..... luckily I have insurance. Just..... how good, or bad?

I guess I'm just going to have to knuckle down and in the morning, not only put down the insulation, but also at least measure the wood, if not cut it. Probably Thursday, get the hardware and try to finish painting. Saturday at the very latest, cut van open (no idea where the kitten will be, but if she's with me......... she can't be in the van, for certain, and I don't know how my dad is cutting off the roof, so I don't know). Probably Saturday at the latest, screw on the paneling and coat with spray foam. At the very least, I want to round off corners, fill crevices, and cover any exposed wood......or maybe I'll use acrylic.......?

I'm exhausted. Day Two of NaNot.

The kitten is sleeping, so I suppose I will......

Maybe I can take her out Thursday? But she'll need water and to be cleaned up after before then.....another thing to be angry about...... this van is not ready for a cat......let alone a young one..... fuck

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chocosweetbun · 5 years

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@ghostlanxx and thats okay! I've made several several posts criticizing shows I've liked in the past. It's just so many people will often point out such tiny issues and blow them up into "the show is terrible". Hell there's like...two blogs that ive seen that seem to dedicate themselves to nit picking these flaws in such a way that says "this is why the show is bad." Why make posts dedicated to making people not want to watch something you claim to enjoy? (And it's not just ml. I love cartoons so i see this stuff a lot)

(This is long and not really related to you or your comment until the end. its just me at 8 am getting talky so just skip to the bottom (its bolded and purple) if you dont want to hear this college student talk about a show for middle schoolers)

It's also like that 2 hour long video floating around that explains the flaws of steven universe. Someone is going out of their way to 'prove' to people who like the show that the show is somehow not supposed to be enjoyed. Except many of these posts are by people who apparently enjoy ml.

Why is it bad that adrien is gary sueish? He's sweet and cute and the 12 year old girl i know adores him. She doesn't see chat noir being pushed to the sidelines like us adults do, she sees ladybug being strong and cool! Us adults are more keen on picking this stuff out and thats fine! But many dont understand that saying "this character is a m/gary sue" Isn't criticism. Criticism isn't directed towards other fans, its directed towards the creator. And the young fans SEE this stuff. They read these analysis posts that bash on adrien and how he's treated and then they start thinking that they shouldn't like him!

(When she was 10 the little girl i mentioned asked me why adrien was so nice. I said "because he knows what its like to have someone mean around him" and she said something along the lines of "my friends think he's boring". She's constantly online and more than likely talks to people in youtube comments because her parent's dont monitor her.)

That's like telling an elementary aged kid that teen titans go is annoying and only written to please simple minded children. A 9 year old is gonna feel bad for liking the show! What did the adult accomplish? Telling a child off for something they enjoy?

And the 12-13 year olds that still make their "bad" ocs and fanfics arent going to take this as "oh i do this stuff too maybe i should change what I'm doing" they're going to think "well crap I'm bad at art then". I didn't draw though out highschool because of this reason and i regret it so so much. Children shouldn't think that their creations are bad. Even if thats not the intent of the op it happens quite a lot in fandoms for children's media

And to mention the whole post i have about character growth for mari and WHY SHE NEEDS to be a choppy person in the beginning for it to work. Usagi was TERRIBLE in the beginning of sailor moon but by season 3 she grew. Part of peoples criticism for the 'bad lazy writing' of the show is partially because the fan base is so wrapped up in what /we want/ that we forget that telling a story takes time. If she was perfect in the beginning we would call her a mary sue gosh darn it! All fandoms are like this but ones for children's media are even more upsetting to see.

(Anyone who wants my choppy analysis on Mari and her parallels to the character growth of other magical girls should read it because i go ham there.)

No show is perfect but how upsetting must it be as a creator to see the target audience love the show, but also see adults tear it apart right in front of their faces? My original post said to talk about some good in the bad. Mari is hardheaded and so righteous that she can't see her own flaws AND she's also strong willed and very brave for her age while learning how to be more selfless.

If my art teachers only told me what they hated about my drawings I would be crushed. You have to add in the highlights as well! Too much shade ruins the meaning you know? But now I'm just repeating my original post ahhh

This was another tangent and you dont seem like someone who takes it this far at all, my whole thing was trying to say "a little is okay but its when many people do it and put it in the tags so often that it gives the fandom a bad taste kinda feel". A little is definatly needed to keep the fandom in check. Remember superwholock and how anyone who said cucumber wanst attractive got attacked? Fandoms who LOVEEEE their thing are just as toxic as the ones who hate the thing!

I just dont want to see ml get bashed so much that children feel bad for liking it (or start telling other children who like ml that they shouldnt. I see this on twitter sometimes) or that new potential fans dont want to see it.

I was told so much crap about shugo chara that I almost didnt watch it but DARN ITS A CUTE SHOW!! no one ever talked about its highlights and there are so so many! Now its known as the magical girl anime with crap characters and a terrible plot when in reality it taught lessons about overcoming loss and what its like to grow up. I don't want to see ml get sold as the "magical girl cartoon thats full of crap character writing and bad plot" when its a lot lot more.

For people out there who ARE harsh... Don't like the thing? Put it in a read more or dont tag it. For people who do like a little post summing up the recent eps, try mentioning what you like too!

(If you skipped to the bottom go to the bolded purple segment above to get to what i really should have said in the begining.)

Forgive any mistakes or grammar issues. Its early and i have a plane to catch soon hhhhh

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