#i've been friends with them for give or take 10 years and to make things worse i'm related to 2 of them ha
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You need more free art.
I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.
You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.
We all need more free art.
So what am I going to do about it?
This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.
I'm going to do this:
1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.
This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.
Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.
2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.
Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.
Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.
I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.
2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY
To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.
On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.
You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.
3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS
Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).
The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.
4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE
I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.
tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!
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“matthew, it is with heavy heart i say goodbye. the times we had together are honestly among the favorite times of my life. it was an honor to share the stage with you and to call you my friend. i will always smile when i think of you and i’ll never forget you. never. spread your wings and fly brother, you’re finally free. much love. and i guess you’re keeping the 20 bucks you owe me.” - matt leblanc
“i am so grateful for every moment i had with you matty and i miss you every day. when you work with someone as closely as i did with matthew, there are thousands of moments i wish i could share. for now here's one of my favorites. to give a little backstory, chandler and monica were supposed to have a one night fling in london. but because of the audience's reaction, it became the beginning of their love story. in this scene, before we started rolling, he whispered a funny line for me to say. he often did things like that. he was funny and he was kind. 🤍🕊️" - courteney cox
“oh boy this one has cut deep... having to say goodbye to our matty has been an insane wave of emotions that i've never experienced before. we all experience loss at some point in our lives. loss of life or loss of love. being able to really sit in this grief allows you to feel the moments of joy and gratitude for having loved someone that deep. and we loved him deeply. he was such a part of our dna. we were always the 6 of us. this was a chosen family that forever changed the course of who we were and what our path was going to be. for matty, he knew he loved to make people laugh. as he said himself, if he didn't hear the 'laugh' he thought he was going to die. his life literally depended on it. and boy did he succeed in doing just that. he made all of us laugh. and laugh hard. in the last couple weeks, i've been pouring over our texts to one another. laughing and crying then laughing again. i'll keep them forever and ever. i found one text that he sent me out of nowhere one day. it says it all. matty, i love you so much and i know you are now completely at peace and out of any pain. i talk to you every day... sometimes i can almost hear you saying "could you BE any crazier?" rest little brother. you always made my day... ❤️🕊️” - jennifer aniston
“matty, thank you for ten incredible years of laughter and creativity. i will never forget your impeccable comic timing and delivery. you could take a straight line of dialogue and bend it to your will, resulting in something so entirely original and unexpectedly funny it still astonishes. and you had heart. which you were generous with, and shared with us, so we could create a family out of six strangers. this photo is from one of my favorite moments with you. now it makes me smile and grieve at the same time. i imagine you up there, somewhere, in the same white suit, hands in your pockets, looking around— "Could there BE any more clouds?” “ - david schwimmer
“shot the pilot, friends like us, got picked up then immediately, we were at the nbc upfronts. then... you suggested we play poker and made it so much fun while we initially bonded. thank you for that. thank you for making me laugh so hard at something you said, that my muscles ached, and tears poured down my face every day. thank you for your open heart in a six way relationship that required compromise. and a lot of "talking." thank you for showing up at work when you weren't well and then, being completely brilliant. thank you for the best 10 years a person gets to have. thank you for trusting me. thank you for all I learned about grace and love through knowing you. thank you for the time i got to have with you, matthew.” - lisa kudrow
friends cast remembers matthew perry 🤍🕊️
#these tributes are so sweet#still cant believe that hes gone#rip matthew perry#friends#matthew perry#chandler bing#matt leblanc#joey tribbiani#courteney cox#monica geller#jennifer aniston#rachel green#david schwimmer#ross geller#lisa kudrow#phoebe buffay
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cw: dark!rafe x agegap!reader, ten year age gap (29 and 19), abuse lowkey, orgasm denial, degradation, no aftercare, daddy kink, misogyny
note: ngl im a sucker for a good age gap. added the abusive part in last minute. still taking regular or dark!rafe ideas :))
rafe never really grew out of his high school "phase". 10 years later he's still the same guy he used to be. loud, abrasive, angry, a frat boy. he still makes deals with barry and helps him sell his products.
you didn't even notice rafe wasn't your own age until you asked how old he was. him and topper still throw the same lavish parties and still invite all the kooks.
"hey sweetheart, can i get you a refill?" rafe asks with a sly smile, seeing your nearly empty cup.
"oh no i think i've had enough," you claim. you've always been a little bit of a good girl, always limiting yourself to one or two drinks and keeping the days you drink to a minimum. to this day, rafe makes sure you keep your alcohol content down in a sort of controlling way but in some fucked up way, you enjoy it.
rafe takes care of you almost as if he would a child, telling you what you can and cant do. if you can or cant eat something, and he goes as far to give you rules you need to follow and god forbid you break those rules, he'll have you over his knee (or if you really piss him off he'll slap you so hard your ears are ringing).
you'd be lying if you said rafe hasn't corrupted you. he has you tucked into his side as he deals drugs, has you trying all sorts of alcohol, and he has definitely corrupted you in the bedroom.
-
"remember how fucking innocent you used to be, whore?" rafe asked, holding your hips as he fills your tight pussy from behind, "had such a pretty virgin pussy and you let me ruin it..what a fucking slut."
"letting such an older guy fill your pussy..god imagine if your friends knew? youre such a fucking whore. them college guys cant fuck you as good as daddy can, huh?"
"r-rafe-! i-i " you whimper out, receiving a tug on your hair in response.
"what? spit out, slut."
"m gonna cum!"
rafe chuckles darkly and stops, laughing more when you whine. he pulls out, cumming on your ass, smearing it around a little.
"really thought daddy would let you cum? or fill you up? dirty whores dont deserve those things. try being a good girl again and maybe ill let you cum."
"but daddy-" you're cut off by a slap to the face. you whimper in pain.
"you know the rules. no whining. what daddy says goes, understood?"
you weakly nod, terrified.
"now clean yourself up and get me some dinner." rafe says, tucking himself away. he gives you a kiss on your cheek, a small show of affection before walking away. he leaves you shaking, scared, and wanting more.
#outerbanks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#obx#rafe cameron thirst#dark!rafe cameron#dark!rafe#dark!rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader
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How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.
Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.
I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!
Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.
Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.
Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.
This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.
Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!
Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.
Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.
Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.
Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.
Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!
Happy Writing!
#novel writing#writer#author#wip#writing motivation#keep writing#writeblr#creative writing#writing advice#writing tips#writing is hard#writing help#fiction#writing fiction#writers community#how to write#writing blog#writing problems#writerscommunity#tumblr writers#writing
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Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.
Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!
That's a real funny story!
So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)
So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.
So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.
Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.
Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.
I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!
So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.
This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.
Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.
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i never could've seen you coming (i think you're everything i've wanted) - nico hischier
pairing: nico hischier x original female character
warnings: swearing, mentions of death and cancer, a substantial amount of grief, so much fluff, medical school inaccuracies probably, angst if you squint, way too many mentions of all three hughes brothers..like an absurd amount (but it's part of the plot, i promise)
title: "the blue" by gracie abrams
word count: 19.7k (whoops!)
author's note: got WAY too carried away with this one lol so you may see more of this little au bc i really fell in love with it. this turned almost into a study on found family / siblinghood?? i hope you all enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed writing it and creating this little world. takes place in the 2023-2024 season.
*****
In hindsight, it probably would’ve been smarter to live closer to work and actually be in the city. But when word got around — well, her mother telling her best friend — that Clementine was going to be even close to New Jersey, she had, in order, Luke, Quinn and Jack texting her within an hour of each other.
Lukey Hughes
Clemmy!! Congrats on the residency. Heard you’re gonna be across the river from jersey?? 👀
Quinny Hughes
Congrats on NYU! I’m happy you get to go back east even though I won’t get to see you as often. Don’t let Luke or Jack annoy you too much. Love and miss you! ❤️
Jacky Hughes
CLEMENTINE
you’re coming to new york????
you have to live with me please please please it’s not that far
and luke will probably be here next season and ik he’s your favorite
When Clementine Sandoval found out she was placed at NYU Langone for her combined emergency room and pediatrics residency, she thought two things. Holy shit, she actually has made it this far. And holy shit, she’s excited to go back closer to home, after spending undergrad and med school in the west coast. She’s found a love for California, but nothing beats the east.
She called Jack for his birthday days after the Devils got knocked out of playoffs. She doesn’t get to talk to Jack and Luke — any of the Hughes brothers, really — as often as she’d like. She sees them even less, ever since she left for California and they moved away to Michigan from Toronto. She always tries to see Quinn and Jack whenever they come out to play at San Jose, but otherwise, that’s it. She hasn’t seen Luke since the Hughes family graciously invited her and her mom to Luke’s draft almost two years ago. So whenever she does get a chance to catch up with her childhood friends, it’s always a treat.
It took Jack — and Luke — exactly 34 minutes over the phone to convince her to move in with them. The largest part of the discussion was how much money she’d contribute for rent. She was adamant to split it three ways evenly. Jack shot that down immediately, and that resulted in a slight — read: intense — disagreement (“I don’t give a fuck that you’re making $8 million a year, Jack Rowden. I’m paying my part of the rent.”). He refused to back down, and they came to an amount that she was semi-happy with, though she insisted that she’d be in charge of buying groceries. Deep down, she knows he and Luke will fight her on that too.
She finished out med school, went on a 10-day vacation to Europe with her friends and went back to her mom’s place in Massachusetts for a weekend, where she grabbed the key that Jack had shipped to her. Her mom helped her pack the car, and off she went to Hoboken, where she’d be living by herself in the extremely spacious apartment until Jack (and Luke) came back for pre-season in September.
Residency started off without a hitch, Clementine loving the fact that she got to actually work with patients more. The commute to the hospital isn’t ideal — a 10 minute drive to the station before hopping on the train for almost 45 minutes — but after years of having to drive around everywhere for years, it doesn’t faze her much. It’s a time to decompress after a long shift and reflect or wake herself up for the long day ahead, and it gives her time to read or listen to music or podcasts on the train. Some of her fellow residents live nearby and are always gracious enough to let her crash on their couch after particularly grueling shifts. The first two months are peaceful if tiring, the apartment always being a welcomed silence when she walks in.
Early September arrives, and she’s coming home after an overnight shift when she walks out of the elevator to the apartment. She thinks she might hear voices coming from inside her apartment, but they’re more likely in her exhausted brain, so she turns her key and pushes open the door.
It takes her a moment while taking off her shoes to freeze. There are voices in the apartment. She carefully walks towards the voices, heart starting to race, before it immediately calms down and relief washes over her.
“Jesus Christ! A warning would’ve been nice. I thought someone broke in.”
All three Hughes brothers turn their heads towards her, all looking a bit worse for wear probably due to the fact that it’s just past 7 am. Though it’s nothing Clementine hasn’t seen before. When your mothers are still really close after playing soccer together at UNH and both families happen to settle down in nearby towns in the suburbs of Toronto, you’ve all seen each other the morning after sleepovers. When you’re an only child and call these three your brothers, you’ve practically seen everything. They all blink at each other before someone — Jack — comes to their senses.
“Clee!” Jack exclaims, sliding in his socks across the floor to pull her into a very tight hug. She feels gross and probably doesn’t smell much better, but she can’t bring herself to care as she hugs Jack, smile widening when she feels both Quinn and Luke putting their arms around her as she’s put in the middle of a group hug. They eventually let go, and then she hugs them all individually.
She pouts, looking up at Luke. “This is so unfair. You’re so much taller than me now.”
Luke smirks, ruffling her hair. “Good to see you too, Clemmy.”
She beams up at him. “Happy birthday, by the way. Big 20!”
“Thank you.”
She yawns. “So what’s going on? I thought you two weren’t supposed to be back until next week.” She points at Quinn. “And what are you doing here?”
“Not happy to see us?” Quinn teases.
“Always happy to see you guys. But I did just have an overnight shift and I need to be in bed within the next 20 minutes.”
“We know.” Jack says excitedly. “Did you not suspect anything when I was asking specific questions about your schedule for this week?”
She thinks back to the last time she FaceTimed Jack. He did seem awfully inquisitive. She shrugs. “I’m too old and tired to question your antics anymore, Jacky.”
“You’re only 26?”
“And you just turned 20. I’m old.” she says to Luke as he passes her a glass of water. “Quinny, aren’t you supposed to be in Vancouver soon?”
“Yeah, actually. I’m only here for the day to go to the US Open and celebrate Moose’s birthday. I’m on a flight out tomorrow at noon.”
She pouts, but her heart warms at the reminder that these three are still so close. “So soon.”
“Captain duties, am I right?” Jack says.
It takes her a moment to realize what he just said before her jaw drops and she whips her head towards the eldest Hughes. “Are you serious?” Quinn just nods sheepishly. “Quinn!” She wraps him in another hug again. “That’s incredible. Oh my goodness. Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Clem.”
She places her hands on his cheeks. “I’m so proud of you. Not surprising at all though. Do Ellen and Jim know? I bet they’re pumped.”
“Yeah, they do. It won’t get announced until Monday though.”
“That’s awesome. Holy shit, Quinn.” She looks at the younger two. “So are you guys back for good?”
“I am. Jack isn’t. He has to go to Vegas for media day the day after tomorrow.”
She blinks. “I’m confused. Then why the fuck are you all here? You could’ve just gone to Vegas early or something. Or not make the trip here and come back when you have to be back.”
“To see you, duh. I wanted to see you on my birthday, and it’ll be awhile until we’re all in the same place again.” Luke shrugs. Like it’s not a big deal. Like they didn’t just fly from wherever the fuck to Jersey for barely a day before two of them have to fly back across the country because they wanted to see her and be together.
“God, I-just,” she yawns. “That’s so disgustingly sweet. And I love you three. I really do. But-”
“You need sleep, yeah. We figured. Well, good news for you, you’re not needed until later anyways!” Jack beams.
She blinks. “What’s later?”
“We’re heading to Aunt Lara’s to celebrate Luke’s birthday. Mostly an excuse for some of the family to gather one last time for the summer.” Jack says.
“Also to celebrate Quinn getting captain,” Luke adds with a small eye roll.
“And I’m assuming I’m coming to that?”
Jack blinks like she’s being ridiculous. “Uh, duh. And I know you have a day off tomorrow, so you can’t use that as an excuse. Geegs wants to see you. Everyone wants to see you, to be honest. Mom’s making your favorite just for you.”
She lights up. “Her pumpkin pie?”
“Yup.”
“I’ll be there,” she salutes to them as she stops at her bedroom archway. “Have fun watching tennis. I’ll see you when you get back?”
“Mmhmm. We’ll drive there together.”
“Brilliant,” she blows them all a kiss. “Goodnight. Or good morning. Whatever.” They all snicker as she goes into her bedroom, beelining for the shower.
She emerges from her bedroom again at around 1:30 p.m., her stomach begging for food. She wipes the sleep away from her eyes as she heads towards the kitchen. She reaches for the coffee machine and pauses when she sees a sticky note on the handle of the pot.
Left some pasta for you in the fridge. xoxo Quinn
She smiles, making herself a cup of coffee before opening the fridge and reheating the chicken alfredo pasta. She waits for the microwave to beep by checking her phone for the news and any unread messages (the only one being from Ellen, who’s thrilled that she’s coming by tonight.)
After eating, she realizes she should probably get something to bring tonight, and ventures a few blocks to a nearby florist. Fresh flowers can’t hurt, right? After she pays for the bouquet, she has a double take walking by the bakery she only treats herself to after an especially exhausting day. Luke has always been weak for chocolate chip cookies, and this bakery does them like no other. She grabs a box of a dozen.
Around an hour later, the front door opens again and Luke practically vibrates at the smell of the still-fresh cookies on the counter. All three of them dig in as she quickly changes, putting on a basic blue sundress and pulling out a sweater in case she gets cold. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s worn anything that isn’t scrubs. She spritzes some perfume on and ties on three very important friendship bracelets that have somehow not fallen apart even after almost a decade.
As expected, when she walks out, Quinn’s the one who notices what’s on her wrist first. He grins, surprised. “I didn’t know you still had those.”
She shrugs, fiddling with the loose threads. “They were very important to me. They still are.”
Jack stops chewing and his eyes widen, finally realizing. “Holy shit, Clee. We made those for you, like..”
“Right before I left for college? Yeah.” She takes the last bit of a cookie out of Luke’s hand. He doesn’t even bat an eye. “I don’t wear them as often anymore because I don’t want the possibility of them getting ruined or losing them at the hospital or anything. You know I wore them when I opened my acceptance letter into Stanford, right? And I wore them under my shirt when I had my interview with NYU.” She thinks she sees Quinn’s eyes water. She definitely knows she sees Luke swallowing roughly as Jack stares at her with some sort of reverence in his eyes. But she also knows her boys and just shrugs, changing the subject to make them more comfortable again. “We leaving soon?”
“Yeah. Let me just take a piss,” Luke says as he walks towards the bathroom.
“I call dibs after!” Quinn calls out.
“What the fuck?” Jack exclaims. “I need to go really bad too.”
“Just go to the one in my room, Jack.” She says, rolling her eyes. He huffs, giving Quinn a glare before disappearing into her bedroom. She sits down in the chair that Jack had just been occupying. “God, I can’t believe I’m gonna be living with those two. Am I regressing?”
Quinn snorts, “Probably. How is residency, by the way?”
She sighs. “Good. Busy and tiring and really fucking hard, but that’s to be expected. I’m currently in the NICU, so it’s been interesting seeing all the babies and the reasons they’re in there for. They’re also just so fragile, which, obviously, but it’s been good. I really love it.”
Quinn hums thoughtfully. “That’s badass, honestly. But everything you do is badass in my eyes.”
“Well, it’s quite badass in my eyes that one of my dearest friends is the captain of the Vancouver Canucks at 23.”
She feels a bit of a thrill at the blush that so easily paints his cheeks. “Nothing compared to you saving lives.”
“Hey,” she warns. “None of that here. We don’t do that.”
He just nods, leaning in to kiss her temple gently. “I’m sad that I’m gonna be seeing you less now, but I’m so happy for you. Least I’ll worry less about Jack and Luke now that you’re here.”
“Oh please. You’ll always worry about them.”
He hums, not even giving an answer because they both know the truth. She wraps an arm around his waist, tucking herself into his side and even though he’s standing and she’s sitting, she feels the most comfort she’s felt in awhile.
Nothing brings her peace like these three boys, who have always believed in her and loved her before she was anything. They could be shouting at each other and never let her get a word in and she would still feel right at home
Later that night, as she’s catching up with everyone and eating Ellen’s pumpkin pie, she’s reminded that this whole family has always brought her peace. Ellen has always said she’s like the daughter she always wanted and Jim has always been like a father to her, especially the last decade. Geegs treats her just like she treats all her grandchildren, fussing over her and insisting that she needs to eat more because “you must be so stressed all the time at the hospital, running around and saving lives.” Everyone important and close to them have always known that the Hughes brothers and Clementine are the kind of package deal that will always be strong, even if it spans countries. It’s the three boys and Clementine always.
As she watches everyone sing happy birthday to Luke, watching him tower over everybody, his face poorly lit with the candles, she places both her hands over her heart while he blows the candles and everyone cheers.
This chapter of her life is already shaping up to be pretty damn good.
…..
She’s had October 12 circled in her calendar ever since Jack convinced her to move in. The day of the regular season home opener of the Devils.
After her shift, she ducks into the staff bathroom and changes into leggings and a Devils jersey, Hughes and 86 on the back. Jack and Luke lost some sort of bet that had the latter pouting and the former in absolute glee. She had just rolled her eyes. She’d just wear her 43 jersey to the next game.
As she’s clocking out, one of her fellow residents and probably the one she’s closest to, Emilia, just raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t know you were a hockey fan.”
Clementine shrugs, swiping her ID card through the reader. She never distinctly mentions her relations to America’s Hockey Family or whatever the hell the media calls them unless directly asked, but she’s sure she’s dropped some hints at happy hour, especially when asked why she’s living in Jersey. “Practically grew up with three of them. Osmosis, perhaps.”
Emilia must connect the dots because she offers a small smile. “My husband’s a big Rangers fan, so don’t tell him I said this, but Jack’s fun to watch. He’s shifty.” She laughs and bids her friend farewell, walking towards the elevator.
Jack and Luke got her a seat in one of the boxes that’s reserved for family and significant others, the home opener bringing in a larger crowd than usual. She doesn’t know anyone, but that’s okay, because right when she walks into the box, a beautiful blonde strolls over and introduces herself with a big smile. You must be Clementine. I’m Ryleigh, she says, Dawson’s girlfriend. Jack told her to be on the lookout for her.
She makes quick friends with Ryleigh as they grab a drink and situate themselves. The younger girl introduces Clementine to Kristen, her adorable boy Henrik and Barbora and her sweet girl Adelka. She kneels down to play with both kids, mindlessly answering questions about her life from the women. It’s refreshing getting to speak to people about things that aren’t solely residency or medical school related.
God, she needs to get out more.
The opening night celebrations are fun, and she cheers extra loudly when Jack and Luke’s names get called. Everyone’s on a high after a 4-3 win, and Clementine dutifully follows Ryleigh and everyone else out of the box and some tunnels that somehow lead towards the locker room. Her stomach is filled, thanks to the food and the drinks, and she’s happily buzzing. She’s excited to be able to hopefully watch more games now that she’s living here.
Around 30 minutes later, both Jack and Dawson come out at the same time. She briefly watches as the couple embraces before Ryleigh turns to introduce Clementine, who smiles as Dawson wraps her in a friendly hug. She bids them both goodbye as they walk out.
“Clee! Did you see my goals?” Jack says after she hugs him, ruffling her hair.
She rolls her eyes with a smile, adjusting his collar. “Of course I did. Saw the two penalties too. Good game, Jackson.”
He beams like a child who just got a gold sticker. “Thank you.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“Taking his sweet ass time.”
She instinctively shoves him. “Be nice.”
Jack opens his mouth, no doubt about to say something snarky, before something beyond her shoulder catches his attention. “Neeks! Come here for a second.” She turns around to see maybe one of the prettiest guys she’s ever seen in her life. Obviously, she knows who Nico Hischier is, but goddamn, is he beautiful up close.
She sticks out her hand with a small smile. “Captain. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Just Nico’s fine,” he smiles, shaking her hand before running his hand through his hair. Gosh, he’s cute. “You must be Clementine. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She automatically grimaces. “Oh no.” She turns to Jack. “Are you just as mean to me behind my back as you are to my face?”
Jack’s jaw drops. “Absolutely not! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m so nice to you.”
Nico laughs. “It’s all good things, I promise. And anyone who has dealt with Jack since he was a kid is a good person in my book.”
“Hey!” Jack says indignantly. “Clee loves me.”
Both Clementine and Nico decide promptly to ignore him. “You’re living with Jack and Luke now, right?” Nico asks.
“Yeah. It’s cheaper than living in the city, and it’s nice to have them around again.” She says. Jack beams.
“You were out west before?”
Shit. Does Jack talk about her that much? “I was. I did my undergrad at UCLA, and then went to Stanford for med school. So the last eight years, I’ve been a west coaster.”
“But back east now?”
“Back east now.”
“For..residency? Right? Is that the next step?”
“Yup. I just started my residency at NYU in July,” she grins cheekily at Jack. “And now I get to bother this one all the time.”
Luke comes out and brightens up, adjusting his beanie. “Hi Clemmy!”
“Hey Lukey,” she goes on her tiptoes to give him a hug. “Good game.”
“Thanks,” he mutters into her shoulder before pulling away. “I’m hungry. Do we still have the chicken you made yesterday?”
She snorts. “Yeah. Unless someone ate it during the day.”
“Yay,” Luke says sleepily. “How was work?”
“Not as tiring as playing a game, I’m sure.”
Luke pulls a face. “Liar. You’re a doctor. And you deal with kids all day.”
“I’m barely a doctor. And I love kids.”
“Still.”
Jack snorts. “I think we should get the big baby to bed.” He expertly avoids Luke’s slap. “See you tomorrow, Hisch?”
Nico nods. “Get some rest, you two. Good game. And it was nice to meet you, Clementine. I hope I see you around more often.”
Clementine grins. “You too, Nico. See you around.” She puts her arms around both Jack and Luke’s shoulder. Or tries to. “Drive me home, friends.”
In the car, as she’s in the backseat and looking outside the window, after Jack discreetly nudges him, Luke turns around to look at her. “So, Cap, huh? He’s a pretty good looking guy.”
She immediately knows what they’re trying to do. “Absolutely not, Luke. You are way too young to be trying to set me up.”
“What?” Luke whines. “I’m just saying. I saw you two eyeing each other up.”
“You’re seeing things.”
“Wait,” Jack says, making a left turn. “Moose, you might be onto something here.”
“I know I am.” Luke says, in a matter-of-fact voice that it seems like only youngest children can get away with. “Clemmy, you have to admit that Nico’s cute.”
‘Okay, sure. He’s objectively attractive. I could say the same thing about you. Or Jack. Or Quinn.”
“Ew,” Jack says, like the middle child he is. “Also, you’re totally his type. Pretty. Smart as hell. Lowkey. Doesn’t care that he plays hockey.”
“I’m also a resident right now, so I got no time to date, Jacky.”
“You’ve never had time to date,” Jack points out. “When was the last time you went on a date anyway?”
“A few months ago!” She says hotly. She will not let them know that her romantic life has been dry for years.
“With who?” Luke shoots back.
“Another resident, actually. Thank you very much.”
Jack snorts. “And how did that go?” She pouts. “Exactly,” Jack says. “Maybe the key is to expand your horizons. Get away from the snobby doctors you always complain about.”
“Let it go, Jackson.” She warns. “Before I start harping on you two about your love lives. If you bring girls home, keep it confined to your rooms. And don’t even think about giving them my shit.”
They both cackle as the light turns green, exchanging knowing looks that Clementine misses.
…..
She’s coming back from a brutal overnight shift when a familiar voice asks her to hold the elevator door open. She blinks as Nico blinks back, dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He looks awfully cozy. She can imagine that she looks like she got chewed and spit back out.
She musters a smile. “Hey there.”
“Good morning,” he smiles back. “You coming back from work?”
“Yup.” She presses the button for 17 as the doors shut. “What are you and Jack and Luke up to today?”
“Not sure. I think some of us are going out to breakfast. Would you like to come?”
She chuckles, leaning her back against the wall. “I appreciate the invite, truly. I just feel like if I have to be awake for 10 more minutes, I might collapse.”
He bites his lip and stares down at his feet. She thinks it’s endearing. “Right. Sorry. Of course you’re tired.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she says. “Residency life is weird. Almost as weird as a hockey player’s.”
The doors open and Nico nods for her to go through first. “I don’t know about that. I live a pretty simple life.”
“Interesting way to define simple, Captain.” She teases. And he shrugs modestly. Clementine starts to wonder if there’s any arrogant bone in his body. He waits as she unlocks the door, closing it behind her. She walks in to see Jack pouring out a glass of juice and Luke sitting on the couch. “Found someone who may be of interest on my way up.”
She listens to Nico greet the two as she puts her bag down and lets her hair out of her ratty ponytail. “Wanna come to breakfast with us?” Luke asks with a hopeful smile.
“Sorry, Lukey,” she says apologetically. “I’m literally a walking zombie right now. Another time?”
He pouts. “Fine. I miss you though. I feel like you’ve been MIA.”
“I wasn’t the one who was just on a long ass roadie,” she points out, giving Jack a side hug.
Nico looks around. “You guys do something different with the place? It looks different from what I remember.”
“We gave Clee free reign to spice it up a bit when she came here in the summer.”
Nico hums. “It looks nice. More…”
“Lived in? Homey? Clean?” She jokes, downing a glass of water.
The captain laughs. She watches his dimples deepen and blinks to herself several times. “All of the above,” he says. “I especially like the pillows.”
She beams. “Thank you. My mom embroidered the pillowcases.”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us, Clee?” Jack begs. “We promise it’ll be quick.”
“Next time,” she promises. “I’m so, so tired.”
Nico clears his throat. “The team’s having a Friendsgiving thing in a couple of weeks since we’ll be on the road during actual Thanksgiving. I don’t know if these two have mentioned it yet, but you’re totally invited. It’s just gonna be the team and their families or whoever else they want to bring.”
“Is it at your place?” Clementine asks.
“No.”
“So is it really your invite to extend? I don’t want to intrude.”
Jack rolls his eyes. “I was gonna ask you tonight. Hisch just beat me to it. It’s at Toff’s place. Of course you’re invited, so please come.”
She yawns. “Unless I have an overnight again, I’ll be sure to come. And even if I do, I’ll try to reschedule.”
“Atta girl,” Jack says. “You really need to get out more.” Clementine just flips him off, making Luke and Nico laugh.
“Enjoy your day, boys.” She calls out as she walks to her room. She hears them all yell out some sort of response before closing her door.
(As soon as she closes the door, Jack nudges Nico’s shoulder with his. “Make it less obvious, dude.”
Nico’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “Make what less obvious?”
“That you’re interested in Clemmy.” Luke says dryly from the couch. “That’s basically our sister.”
“What?” Nico hisses, aware that she’s right down the hall. “I don’t-I mean, yeah she’s pretty. But I barely know her.”
“But you want to. You’ve wanted to ever since we showed you pictures of her,” Nico doesn’t even have the chance to defend himself as Jack smirks like the menace he is. “Don’t worry, Cap. One day you’ll catch her when she’s not sleep deprived and acting as an actual human being and you’ll be able to sweep her off her feet.”
Nico swallows. “She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d fall for that.”
“She wouldn’t. Which is why you’re perfect. So many of my friends throughout the years have tried to hit on her. Hasn’t worked once.”
“Aren’t you, like, four years younger than her?” Nico says. “That’s probably why.”
Luke scoffs. “Good point.” He’s been less pushy about it compared to Jack, partially because he’s not as comfortable with Nico yet and partially because he’s not Jack. “She’s a good one though, Cap. You’d be lucky.” He says.
Nico just nods.)
Early the next week when Clementine goes in, she finds out that one of her babies in the NICU she had been taking care of had died. It’s not necessarily the first time she’s dealt with death in her young career, but it’s still not easy. She goes through the rest of the day robotically, simultaneously trying to pick apart what she could’ve done differently while trying to forget about it completely.
The only upside — if there is one — was that she wasn’t there when the baby’s parents were told. Fuck, she’s not looking forward to when she has to do that one day.
During her lunch break, she calls Jack.
“Hello?”
“Jacky?”
“Clee? Is everything okay?”
She swallows. “I’m sorry. I can’t keep track. Do you have a game tonight?”
“No. Day off today. Game tomorrow. What’s wrong? Aren’t you at work?”
“Yeah. I am. Uh, what were you planning on doing tonight?”
“Nico’s coming over and we were just gonna chill. Luke’s going on a date, I think. Or doing something. Shit, I swear I told you.”
She blinks. “You probably did. I just, sorry. I haven’t been-”
“Stop apologizing,” Jack chastises. “How about we get take out from your favorite Greek place and have a movie night? I can tell Nico to come by another time.”
“No, no! Of course Nico can come. It’s your place.”
“It’s yours now too.”
She swallows. “He can come by. Greek food sounds really good though.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll order some. Do you want me to go into the city to get you after work?”
“Fuck no. Are you crazy? That would be the worst drive.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind. Clee, I don’t wanna-you don’t sound like you’re okay.”
She tries to steady her voice. Worrying Jack is the last thing she wants to do. “I’m okay, Jacky. I promise. As long as you have the Greek food ready when I’m home.”
“You got it,” Jack softens. “I love you, Clementine.”
“Love you too. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
When she finally makes her way back to Hoboken, she feels a bit better. She hears murmured voices right before she unlocks the front door.
“Hey,” she greets Jack and Nico.
Jack barrels over, hugging her tightly with a smile. She involuntarily lets out a relieved sigh. “Lucky timing. I just got the food.”
“Lovely. Let me just take a quick shower and change and I’ll be right out.” She gives Nico a quick but friendly smile. “Hi Nico.”
“Hey Clementine.”
“Be right back.” She takes a quick shower and throws on leggings and a UCLA sweatshirt, choosing to let her hair air dry. When she comes back out, food from her favorite Greek place in Jersey that she discovered over the summer is laid out, along with a glass of iced tea. She could cry.
“Long day?” Jack asks.
She snorts, digging into her grape leaves. “You could say that. What’s been going on with you two?”
Jack knows her well enough by now that this is permission for him to ramble about anything and everything, from the more-than-usual brutal game last night against the Stars to how shitty his fantasy team is doing this week. Clementine just munches on her food while the two hockey players talk amongst themselves, her chiming in every once in awhile. She learns more about the girl Luke is currently on a date with (which isn’t saying much, because Jack barely knows anything and Nico knows even less) and complains that none of the brothers tell her these things. She only just found out that Quinn’s in a serious relationship. When Jack tries to protest with that fact she’s literally been on the other side of the country for the last eight years, she doesn’t wanna hear it.
She finishes her iced tea. “How about you, Nico? You got any siblings?”
“Uh, yeah. An older brother and an older sister.”
“You close with them?
“Extremely.”
“Do they tell you who they’re dating and do you tell them who you’re dating?”
He hesitates. “Usually, yes.”
She gives Jack a pointed look. “See? Be like Nico.”
Jack snorts. “Please. If I were more like Neeks, you would have no one to pick on. Nico’s too perfect.”
She raises an eyebrow, shifting her gaze to Nico and she thinks she sees him blush. Nico clears his throat. “I don’t know about that.”
“Also, never listen to Clee. I’m her least favorite. She always makes fun of me.”
“Not true,” she shoots back. “You’re all my favorites.”
“What are siblings for if not for humbling you?” Nico asks. “I’m sure if you didn’t have Clementine here around growing up, your head would be way bigger than it already is.”
“Captain’s got a point,” she sings, gathering their trash. She waves both guys away when they reach out to help. “Season’s been pretty good so far, right?”
“Thought you would be too scatterbrained to be keeping track.” Jack retorts.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t check the scores when I can.” She says, poking his side. Jack yelps.
“You know what? Maybe you deserve to be her least favorite,” Nico jokes. “You’re so mean to her.”
“Hey!” Jack protests.
“Thank you, Nico.” Clementine beams. “Finally, someone with sense around here. You gotta come around more.”
“Season’s going well, thank you for asking.” Jack sasses. “Oh, that reminds me. Trevor asked me if you were gonna come to the game when the Ducks are in town. Demanded, actually. Said that it’s been too long since he’s seen you and that he misses you. Not like you used to get to see him when you were in California or anything.”
She rolls her eyes. “When is he in town?”
“Sometime in December, I think.”
“Then yeah. I’ll be there. Not like I have a life outside of work anyways, as you always remind me.”
“You know Zegras?” Nico asks, before shaking his head. “Actually, yeah. Of course you do, if you grew up with Jack.”
“Not as well as you might think, though, to be fair.” She says, wanting to assure Nico that he isn’t completely wrong. “By the time Jack got into the development program, I was already out at UCLA. I was out there even before Quinn got into the program. Right at the same time, I guess. But you know, during the summers, wherever Jack is, Trevor usually isn’t far behind. He’s a good kid.”
“Clee kinda really is everyone’s older sister,” Jack says, passing a beer to Nico and a glass of wine to Clementine. “You should see how much Luke’s Michigan boys love her. And they’ve literally only met her once. Or never.”
Clementine waves Jack’s comment away. “It’s only because Luke calls me the most out of you three. And he’s my baby! I literally remember holding him when he was born.”
And the rest of the night is like this, as they exchange stories and memories, some she’s a part of, some she’s not and just likes listening to. Little mention of her work, which she’s so thankful for and knows in the back of her head is a purposeful play on Jack’s part.
Even though she already wasn’t around when Jack left for New Jersey, she worried about him, especially after his tough rookie year. She still remembers the occasional calls she’d get of him breathing heavily and stumbling over his words and how she could do nothing about it across the country except offer a listening ear and some big sister comfort verbally.
But now, watching Nico’s addicting smile and listening to his soft, comforting voice, she’s starting to see that Nico stepped up in that role so seamlessly and so well. It’s no wonder Jack always speaks so highly of his captain. Nico was there, and still is there, when she can’t be, whether it’s because she’s physically so far or just doesn’t understand because she isn’t a first overall draft pick. Sure, one could argue that it’s the duty of a captain. But she can tell it’s mostly because Nico is a caring guy.
That puts Nico pretty fucking high up in her good graces already.
(Clementine retires to bed soon after, not before making sure by text from Luke that he’s safe and good. Once her bedroom door clicks, Jack attacks.
“So…thoughts?”
“On Clementine?” Jack nods and Nico shrugs casually. “She’s great.”
“Come on, Hisch. You gotta give me more than that.”
“What do you want me to say?” Jack makes some sort of vague gesture and Nico sighs. “She’s quick, smart, funny. Deals with all your shit and you can tell she still loves you a lot. I didn’t-I mean, I knew you guys were close. I didn’t know you were that close though.”
Jack shrugs. “Yeah. Honestly I consider myself as close to her as I am to Luke or Quinn. She’s just, you know, been around for so long. It was really hard when she left for college, but she’s good at keeping in touch, which you know, thank god. Because I’m not. She came to all our drafts and she always makes the time to call or text, even though I know she’s busier than all of us combined with school and residency and all that.” Jack leans back into the couch. “It’s interesting to think about. With Clee, no one else except people who are actually close to me know about her, but she’s just as big a part of my life as my actual brothers. I mean, her mom’s the one who bought me the suit for my draft and Clee saved up to gift me the watch I wore with it. I don’t know. It’s interesting that you can think you know so much about someone but you’ll probably never get the full picture unless you’re there.”
Nico hums, taking in Jack’s impromptu but astute ramble. “She ever play?”
“Hockey?” Nico nods. Jack snorts. “Nah. Soccer was her thing. Was pretty damn good too, if I remember correctly.” The younger boy shifts suddenly to a standing position. “If you want to know more, ask her yourself, Hischier. I’m tired. Get out of my apartment.”
Nico rolls his eyes, but stands up anyways. “See you in the morning.”)
The Devils Friendsgiving rolls around, and with a large bowl of homemade Spinach Artichoke Dip and a couple bags of pita chips, she climbs into the backseat as Jack starts the engine and Luke fiddles with his phone to pull up the directions. She doesn’t have to go into the hospital until the afternoon tomorrow, so she’s looking forward to treating herself to a couple glasses of wine and getting to meet more people. Luke puts some country song on that Jack starts humming as he starts driving. Clementine folds her legs on the seat as her chin rests on her knees, looking out at the window as the trees blur. She kicks the back of Luke’s seat when one too many country songs play in a row, knowing that they know that she prefers other genres of music. Luke just grunts, before putting on some Noah Kahan and she hums in satisfaction.
The Toffoli’s house is spacious, and she shuffles carefully up the steps to the house behind Jack and Luke, careful not to slip on black ice. She slips off her jacket, passing the food off to Luke, before taking it back and walking into the warm home behind the boys. She just smiles and stands to the side as everyone exclaims at their arrival. She grins as Cat embraces her, thanking her for the invite. Cat waves her off and looks absolutely delighted when Clementine sets down the dip. Tyler pours her out a glass of wine and hugs her in greeting.
The journey to being a doctor has shaped Clementine to be good at remembering names quickly, which helps her tremendously as Jack bounces around to introduce her to everyone. Everyone is so welcoming and the sprinkle of kids around makes her smile as well. It’s lovely to see that this team loves hanging out with each other off the ice when they’re not obligated to. She finds herself chatting with…everyone and is almost surprised but absolutely delighted at how kind everyone is. Some of the wives and significant others don’t hesitate to rope her into future plans and their group as a whole and she feels touched. She’s not sure how much time and energy she’ll have to go to some of their gatherings, but it’ll be nice to have some more familiar faces in the city.
It’s when everyone’s starting to grab food does she find herself standing next to Nico, who had waved and nodded at her earlier when she walked in. “Hey Captain.”
Nico’s smile is blinding. “Like I’ve said, Nico works just fine.”
She shrugs with a chuckle. “How have you been?”
He sees her eyeing the potatoes and scoops some on her plate before he grabs some for himself. and she smiles at him in thanks. “Nothing new,” he says. “Just you know, playing hockey.”
She snorts. “Yeah, I bet. You had a sick goal the other night against the…Caps, was it?”
“Thank you,” he says as they both head towards two empty seats next to each other at the kitchen island. “You watch the games?”
“When I can. Not as much this season as I used to. It honestly used to be really effective background noise when I studied at school.”
His eyes track to her bracelets. “I’ve been wanting to ask you about those.”
“My bracelets?”
“Yeah. You wear them all the time. Is there any significance to them? If you’re comfortable telling me, of course.” He rushes the last sentence, eyes wide.
She waves him off with an easy smile, pointing at each one of them as she goes through. “Quinn, Jack and Luke each made me one before I left for college. Gave them to me right at the airport before I went through security. Had me sobbing on practically the whole damn plane ride. I don’t wear them to the hospital, really, but otherwise, it’s kinda just habit to put them on at this point.”
“You love them a lot,” Nico observes.
Clementine just smiles, watching Luke play with one of the kids. “I do. They’re good guys to grow up with. But enough of that. Don’t think I don’t remember the explanation you promised me last time, Nico.”
A playful smile on his lips, Nico finishes chewing his food. “Explanation of what?”
“How the hell you chose soccer over hockey, when soccer is the best sport, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Nico echoes, and her smile widens. “I mean, yeah. There’s not much to it. I kinda was good at most sports. I still love watching football, or soccer. My dad used to play professionally, so I still enjoy playing pick up in the summer once in awhile. My brother played hockey, and I wanted to do everything he did. And then…”
“You were really fucking good.” She finishes for him.
“I guess, yeah. You work with kids, right? Being their doctor?” She nods and he smirks slightly. “Even I know you have to be super smart for that. The journey to being a doctor can’t be easy.”
She chuckles a bit, feeling a bit flattered. “It has its moments. Definitely not the most simple career, by any means.”
“Anything specific with…what is it called? Pediatrics? I don’t really know how specializations work.”
“I’m actually doing an EM/Peds residency right now, which combines training in both the emergency room and pediatric medicine. There’s something about kids and the environment of an ER that I really enjoy, so putting those two together is..kinda the dream.”
“You’re incredible,” Nico says softly. And if she wasn’t blushing before, she definitely is now. Or is it the wine? “Seriously. That’s some amazing stuff. Is that common?”
“Combining residencies?” He nods. “No. Actually, NYU is one of the only teaching hospitals in the country that’s approved for this specific program.”
“So not only are you smart. You’re just the best of the best.”
She chuckles a bit and puts food in her mouth so she doesn't have to respond, because what the fuck? She’s thankful that Jonas and Nate join and divert their conversation so she can gather herself. She’s heard those words from people many times. Nico saying them shouldn’t have her stomach fluttering.
(Later that evening, Clementine, predictably, finds herself among the moms with young kids, sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, giving them attention and watching them so that their parents can relax a bit more.
She’s mindlessly talking and playing with Owen, Curtis and Reanne’s 3-year-old son, who’s at the age where he just loves to babble.
Reanne bounces her son on her knee. “This is Clementine. Can you say Clementine?”
Owen claps his hands. “C-cuh-”
Clementine can tell Owen is getting a little frustrated that he can’t pronounce her name. “Owen, you know him?” She points towards Jack, who’s sitting on the couch a few feet away talking to Nico, Curtis and Jesper. Jack catches them and waves with a big smile as their conversation trickles off.
“Unca Jack!”
“That’s right,” Clementine coos. “When Uncle Jack was as small as you, he couldn’t say my full name either. So he just called me Clee. Can you say Clee?”
“Clee!” Clementine nods excitedly and laughs with Owen as he says it again. “Unca Jack call you Clee?”
“He sure does. He still calls me Clee. And he’s a big boy now.”
Reanne grins, “Is that true?”
Clementine chuckles. “Yeah. Him, Luke and Quinn all called me Clee at one point. The other two don’t anymore, but I guess it stuck for Jack.”
Owen grabs one of his stuffed dinosaurs. “I like Unca Jack. He always buys me chocolate.”
All of them laugh as Reanne and Curtis shoot Jack a dirty look. Clementine snorts. “Busted.” Jack at least has the audacity to look a little sheepish as Owen doesn’t mind any of them, his attention back to making his dinosaurs fight each other. Owen hops off his mother’s knee and toddles over to sit in between Clementine’s legs, wordlessly passing her a dinosaur.
Nico’s fond smile stays glued to his face as his eyes track Clementine and Owen. Jack takes note.)
…..
It’s a brisk Tuesday morning in early December, and Clementine is still trying to find her way where she needs to go. She volunteered to spend a few weeks at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center from recommendation by her mentor, since Newark is short a few hands. She’ll probably get used to the hallways and which floors are what the day before she leaves, but she’s not complaining. She’s still in an ER. She’s still working with kids. And she won’t complain about the shorter commute, even if it’s only for a short while.
There’s a bit of a commotion outside as she’s making her rounds. Her curiosity causes her to scribble some last quick notes before stepping out of her patient’s room and clicking the door shut quietly so the 7-year-old girl doesn’t wake up.
“Hey Caro,” she stops another resident who’s walking by. “What’s all the commotion?”
Caroline grins. “You didn’t hear? Some of the guys from the New Jersey Devils are stopping by to see the kids. It’s always a whole day thing that’s a fun day. That’s why Doc told us all to clear our schedules as much as we could today.”
Clementine snorts to herself. No, she didn’t hear. “Ah. I must’ve not been listening or something.”
Caroline offers her arm. “You coming?”
“Yeah,” she latches on to the shorter girl’s arm. “You a Devils fan?”
“I grew up in Texas, so to be honest, no.” They both chuckle. “But the guys are great. And it’s always fun when they come around. The kids have a good time too.”
“I bet,” she says softly.
“Are you a Devils fan?”
She’s about to open her mouth to try and stumble through an answer, but they’re suddenly in a conference room and Luke is bounding over to attack her in a hug. “Clemmy!”
“Hey Lukey.” She pulls away and ignores Caroline’s confused but amused stare. “You and Jack didn’t tell me you were gonna be here.”
“We didn’t?” Jack grins, pulling her into a tight hug. “Well, surprise!”
Clementine just rolls her eyes as she waves at Jesper, Tyler, Dougie and Nico. Nico shoots her a quick wink and she gives him a shy smile before looking away.
“Sorry,” Jack addresses some of the staff who have been openly eyeing them. “Clementine is, uh, basically family. We actually live together, which she loves.” The whole room exclaims softly in understanding. Caroline gives Clementine a look that has her holding back a laugh.
Clementine just puts her head down with a smile and waits for everyone to come into the room for the official welcome. Her pager goes off in the middle so she has to sneak out of the room quietly. She catches Nico’s eye before leaving and he gives her an imperceptible nod.
She tries to keep out of everyone’s way as the players pop into various rooms to say hi to the kids and their parents. She poses for a few pictures at request from both PR departments, smiling the biggest when the social team asks for a picture of her, Luke and Jack together. It’s nice to see the kids really happy, and she does stick around in a patient’s room when Luke is reading a story to one of them.
“The kids like him,” she jumps slightly at Nico’s voice. He grimaces. “Sorry.”
She waves off his apology, staring at the scene. “Probably because he’s practically still one himself. I remember doing this for him when he was that age.”
“You’re a bit far away from Manhattan.”
“Yeah. I volunteered to come out here for a few weeks since they needed extra hands. I should be back at NYU after the new year. Had no idea you guys were gonna be here today. Would’ve warned everyone how annoying you all were.”
“You think I’m annoying?” Nico jokes.
“All hockey players are annoying.” She turns to Nico and flashes a smile. “I’m kidding. Thanks for coming. The kids always love it anytime professional athletes come in to say hey.”
“The least we can do,” Nico says with a shrug. “It’s probably my favorite event of the year.”
She nudges his shoulder, “I saw you earlier, with little Artie. You’re not bad with the kiddos either.”
“Oh, thanks. They’re sweet. That’s a big compliment coming from you.”
“Well, it’s a bit different for me when interacting with kids is part of my job,” her smile widens watching as Jude, the patient, is laughing at Luke’s exaggerated voices. “Let’s leave these two be. Come with me?”
Nico falls into step with her. “Where we going?”
“I gotta check in on one of our patients, who, if I know her, is probably painting some watercolor landscape while bickering with her sister. I’m sure your big brown eyes and smile can keep her entertained while I take some of her vitals.”
Clementine stops at a room, knocks twice on a door with a purple and pink sticker-covered name card taped on the front, Lacy spelled out in big block letters. She peeks her head in. “Hey. Mind if I come in?”
“Do I have a choice?” The 11-year-old girl sasses. Clementine rolls her eyes, shooting her 17-year-old sister Maisie a quick smile. Maisie just nods in greeting before turning back to her laptop.
“I’m bringing a visitor in here too. Be nice,” Clementine warns. Lacy just keeps painting. She opens the door wider and Nico follows her in. “You recognize this guy?”
Lacy looks up and snorts, though a small genuine smile appears on her face. “Any hockey fan living in the state of New Jersey would recognize him. Hi Nico.”
“Hi Lacy. It’s nice to meet you. Can I pull up a chair for a second?”
Lacy shrugs. “Sure.” Nico shakes Maisie’s hand quickly first before grabbing a chair and sitting by her bedside. Clementine gets started on her notes. “I saw your game the other night. Against the Wild,” Lacy says.
“Oh yeah? What did you think?”
“I mean, at least you guys won in overtime. It probably shouldn’t have even gone to that point.”
Clementine coughs to hide her laugh, Maisie admonishes Lacy, but Nico just chuckles. “That’s a fair assessment. You like hockey?”
“Yeah. I used to play. Before all this.”
“Oh yeah? What position?”
“Center.”
“That makes sense. You seem like you like to score goals.” She hums. Out of the corner of Clementine’s eye, she sees the girl offer a brush and a blank piece of paper to Nico. Clementine smiles to herself. Nico takes the brush. “You got a favorite player on the Devils?”
“Do you just want me to say you?”
“Not if it’s not true.”
Clementine chuckles, “Don’t hurt his ego too much, Lace. He might not be able to handle it. One to ten?”
“Three,” Lacy answers in reference to the frequency of pain scale she and Clementine have come up with. “My favorite is Dawson, by the way. You’re third on my list.”
“I’ll take that,” Nico says with a satisfied smile. “Who’s second?”
“Probably Jack. Or Haula. It depends on the day.”
Nico’s eyes light up as Clementine rolls her eyes to herself. “Jack, huh? Has Clementine told you that she knows him?”
Lacy stops painting for a second. “What do you mean ‘knows him?’”
Clementine gives Lacy a cup of water and waits for her to take her pill. “I’ve known Jack since he was born. Luke too.”
Lacy’s eyes pop open, and Clementine thinks that she would’ve mentioned this earlier if she knew that this was the reaction she’d get. Lacy’s been a hard nut to crack in terms of opening up to her. “Really? Quinn’s one of the best defensemen in the league, in my opinion.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him. He’ll appreciate that.”
“Pretty cool, right?” Nico remarks, carefully dipping his brush in water.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Clementine says. “I knew you were a hockey fan. I didn’t know you were a Devils fan. Isn’t your dad a Rangers fan?”
Nico grimaces automatically as Lacy nods. “Yeah, but red’s prettier. And the Devils are better.”
“That’s right. And don’t forget it,” Nico says.
“Hey, Lace. Dawson isn’t here, but do you want me to go find Jack and see if he’s around?”
“Sure. I don’t have my jersey though and I wanted him to sign it.”
“We’ll send you another one and he can sign that one,” Nico says. Maisie tries to protest but Nico just shakes his head. “It’s no problem at all. I’ll send you mine though. To convince you to move me higher on your list.”
“I mean, I won’t say no to that.” Clementine and Nico just chuckle.
“Be right back,” Clementine promises.
She closes the door and takes a moment to watch the two. Nico’s trying to paint some sort of sunset and lets Lacy guide his hand, listening intently as Lacy gives him some artistic advice. She’s never seen such softness in someone’s eyes before as Nico is looking at the young girl. And later, when Nico hands her two tickets for a game in January, it’s the most excited she’s seen Lacy.
…..
Clementine finds that she has Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, so the three of them decide to do their own little Christmas Eve celebration — Ellen and Jim are heading to Vancouver to spend the holiday with Quinn and the various family they have out there — before going to Jack and Luke’s family again on Christmas Day. They ask her if Nico can join them Christmas Eve, before going with them to their family’s on Christmas Day, since his family can’t fly out this time around for the holidays. She immediately agrees, and digs her knitting supplies out from the few unpacked boxes in her closet and stops by the fabric store right by the hospital after work.
Later that night, after a game, Luke waves his greeting before stumbling into his room while Jack beelines to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He casts his eyes on Clementine on the couch, Canucks game on quietly in the background and a whole bunch of yarn on her lap, her fingers twiddling around knitting needles.
Jack raises his eyebrows. “Who’s that for?”
“Nico.” The lack of response has her raising her eyes away from her needles. “What?”
“You like him, don’t you?”
“As a person, absolutely. He’s very-”
“Fuck off. You know that’s not what I’m talking about. You like him. Like, stomach has butterflies and all that shit.”
She puts down her needles with a sigh, “Jack-”
“Listen, I know you’re just gonna deny it or whatever. Because that’s what you do. So, I’m not even gonna bother, but Clee. You could do a whole lot worse than Hisch. And he likes you too, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Jack. I’m not gonna date your captain.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I don’t wanna put you or Luke in a weird position.”
“That’s a dumb excuse. Who cares about that? Certainly not Luke and I.” He comes to sit next to her like an eager puppy. “I swear I’m not trying to set you up or whatever. Not intentionally at least. And I really won’t push and let it go if you want me to. But Clee, you seem so at ease around him. And it’s obvious that he just likes everything about you. It doesn’t have to be serious. But maybe just give it a chance before you just shut it down, okay?”
She nods, taking in his words. “Okay, okay. I will.”
“Promise?”
She rolls her eyes, but clasps her pinky with his. They’ve always taken their pinky promises very seriously. “I promise.”
Jack grins, his typical easygoing manner right back. “Good.”
After a lazy Christmas Eve morning and afternoon watching holiday movies, drinking hot cocoa and feeling at peace, she, Jack, Luke and Nico put on some Christmas music and make gingerbread cookies to bring the next day. She scolds the brothers as they start flinging flour at each other but she does it with a smile that hurts her cheeks and a heart that feels overwhelmingly full. “Silent Night” comes on and to prevent herself from fully bursting into tears, she leaves Luke and Nico to shape the cookies and drags Jack to dance around the kitchen with her. She thinks he understands, as he places a comforting kiss on her forehead, Luke looking on in solemn happiness.
(Nico notices all of their demeanors slightly shift, but he doesn’t press.)
At midnight, they all exchange presents under the twinkling lights of their tree. Nico looks surprised when they tell him they all have presents for him, which is funny considering he has presents for all of them. As the youngest, Luke goes first, and his smile is pure ecstasy, as he receives a really nice watch from Nico, new shoes from Jack and a bottle of cologne that she knows he’s been eyeing from Clementine. Jack’s next, as he gleefully reaches for his presents. Nico gifts him a customized Snapback that has Jack tackling his captain in a hug and almost tipping the tree over, and Luke gets him the newest AirPods to hopefully discourage him from “accidentally” putting his through the wash. Clementine gets Jack a nice leather wallet she saw at a vintage shop a few weeks back and he acts surprised that she knows what he likes style wise, as if she didn’t practically grow up with him and watch his heinous style turn into something passable.
Clementine insists Nico goes next. Jack and Luke get him a joint present of a massive box of assorted Swiss chocolates and Clementine thinks his eyes literally light up, excitedly talking about how you can’t get most of them outside of Switzerland. As Clementine hands him her present, Nico only raises his eyebrows at the large bag.
“Should I be scared?”
She scoffs, “Just open the bag, Captain.”
They all laugh, Jack and Luke eagerly watching as Nico carefully takes out the tissue paper. Jack laughs in recognition as Luke just shakes his head fondly when Nico pulls out a giant knitted maroon blanket.
“I know it seems a bit weird,” Clementine rushes to explain as he unfolds the blanket carefully. “But basically, when I started going to the boys’ games, I would get really cold sitting in the bleachers. So my mom taught me how to knit and I knitted myself a huge blanket, kinda like this one. The parents all saw me with it and eventually started asking if I would knit some for them. And I did, so it’s kinda a thing I like to do when I have time now. Makes for good presents too.”
Nico looks behind him to a similar looking white blanket draped across the couch. “Did you make that?”
She grins. “Yeah. I think that one was the one I gave to Jack right before he left for New Jersey. I know Luke has the one I gave him before he left for Michigan in his room.”
“It’s super warm,” Luke says.
“Clee doesn’t make these blankets for just anyone,” Jack adds. “She only just made one for Turcs last year after he had been practically begging her for years.”
Nico folds the blanket back up and reaches over to envelop her in a tight hug. She lets herself rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I love it.”
She just smiles, trying to tell her brain to calm the fuck down before she reaches out to grab Jack and Luke’s (and Quinn, he said to her over the phone this morning) gift for her. She pulls out a photo album and immediately starts sniffling. The first photo on the first page is of her holding Quinn at the hospital right when he was born. Written below, in what she recognizes as Quinn’s handwriting:
Clem holding Quinn for the first time. October 15, 1999. Orlando, Florida.
She flips through quickly, finding that it’s photos of her and all of the brothers throughout the years, before closing it and taking a deep breath. “I’ll have to look at this more carefully later when I can cry by myself in my room. Fuck. How long did this take you guys?”
“We got the idea when you told us you were moving in, but we really got to put it together over the summer,” Luke says. “It was also fun getting Mom and Maeve to dig up some of the pictures.”
She wipes her eyes before giving them both individual, loving hugs and sweet kisses on their cheeks. “Thank you.” It’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. But she hopes they understand.
“Well, I don’t know how I can follow that up,” Nico jokes softly.
“Stop,” she scolds him lightly, taking the wrapped box from his hands. She rips the paper ungracefully and opens the box. In the box are light pink scrubs. When she unfolds the shirt, she sees tiny bluebells adorning the right side, with her initials in delicate white cursive on the right.
Nico scratches the back of neck. “Jacky mentioned that pink’s your favorite color and I had Luke sneak into your closet one time when you were at work to grab me your measurements. My sister does embroidery for fun so, uh, yeah.”
She has to bite the inside of her bottom lip from smiling too widely. She already knows it’s going to be her favorite set. Before she can think too hard about it, she practically launches herself into his arms, half in his lap as Nico lets out a surprised grunt but easily catches her. She holds on a bit longer, even placing a quick kiss on his cheek before pulling away.
“Thank you. I love them.”
(Jack and Luke exchange the most obvious look, yet somehow both Clementine and Nico miss it)
The next day, they make the hour-long drive. Clementine calls shotgun, and has her feet curled up under her, white sweater stretched over her hands as Jack hums along to the Christmas music playing softly in the background. Nico insisted on getting flowers, which is all too much, but she, Jack and Luke are also bringing two bottles of some really fucking good wine so maybe they’re all on the same page. They’re the last ones to arrive, the house already filled with familial chatter, football on the TV, snacks on the kitchen island and alcohol free flowing. She watches as Nico is embraced like he’s been around for his whole life, even though realistically, he’s maybe only met a few of them in passing when they’ve come to a game. Geegs calls him handsome after .4 seconds of seeing him and she, Jack and Luke all snicker watching his cheeks turn red. It seems like it takes not even three minutes for him to charm every single damn person, especially when he gives Lara the flowers.
Clementine immerses herself in the cheer of holiday and family, happily answering anyone when she’s asked about her residency. She answers questions about it’s like living with the “terrible two” with ease and laughter, because as much as she likes to give them shit, it’s honestly been one of the best times of her life.
Inevitably, because she might not have their last name but has been part of the family for years, she gets a few questions about her love life, or lack thereof. Lara always jokes that if the stars were slightly different, her and Quinn — or maybe even Jack — could’ve ended up together. And Clementine agrees, because those two boys are so lovely and she knows them so well and loves them so much, but the stars are the way they are, and nothing will ever happen romantically between her and any Hughes brother.
Romance hasn’t really ever been seriously in the cards for Clementine, which is partially self inflicted. She had something in college that lasted for over two years, but since then, nothing has stuck. She’s always used the excuse of school and now residency, and it’s somewhat true. But even she knows she’s running out of excuses for herself.
As her eyes flit over to Nico, who’s across the room talking to Luke and Ben, one of their cousins, looking so fucking soft in his gray crewneck and dark washed blue jeans, hair too fluffy and the most heartwarming smile on his face, she tells herself to get it together.
After over two decades of being around hockey boys, she can’t be developing a crush on the captain of the New Jersey Devils.
…..
On the morning of New Year’s Day, Clementine tries her best to go about the kitchen quietly to make her breakfast, only to find Jack and Luke already there, sipping on their coffees.
“Morning boys.”
“Morning Clemmy.”
“Happy new year!”
“Happy new year,” she yawns. “Morning skate?”
“We’re skipping.” Her eyebrows shoot up and Luke just gives her a look. “C’mon, Clemmy. We’re not letting you do this alone.”
She swallows and her voice cracks. “You guys remembered?”
“Clee,” Jack says with a sympathetic smile. “Of course we did.”
Before she can control it, her eyes water and she sniffles. Luke comes up and pulls her to his side, allowing her to momentarily bury herself into his sweatshirt as she tries to gather herself. Above her head, Luke and Jack share a look as Jack wordlessly grabs a thermos from the cabinet and fills 3/4 of it with coffee, topping it off with oat milk. Clementine pulls away and rubs at her eyes.
Jack smiles at her. “Picked up some croissants from downstairs we can eat on the way. The florist should be open by now.”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” she turns to Luke again and pulls him into a real hug. She only forces herself to pull away so she can give Jack one too, before going to her room to change.
They stop by the florist downstairs and she picks out a bouquet of fresh daisies. She watches Luke mull over his options before choosing the white lilies as Jack automatically reaches for the pink peonies. He also cradles a bouquet of sunflowers, and when she gives him a confused look, he just smiles.
(“From Quinn. He specifically requested sunflowers.”
Clementine bites her lip, nodding, the image of toddler Quinn almost yanking the sunflowers in the yard in front of her childhood home before her dad stopped him and explained how flowers grow passing through her mind.)
The drive to the cemetery doesn’t take too long. They may be driving in from a different direction than she’s used to, but somehow, it’s like her body knows exactly where she’s going. Once they arrive, she quietly directs them to the right hill and she takes a sip of her coffee before opening the car door. She tries to take the flowers from Luke’s hands but he just softly tells her he’s got it. She’s a step ahead of the two as she leads them to the correct place.
She smiles as she comes close, seeing the semi-fresh bouquet of roses she knows her mother must’ve placed there three days prior, 28 years to the day they got married. She watches as Luke carefully sets down all their flowers, and she bends down to help him arrange them in a pretty way as Jack unfolds the large blanket. They all sit down and stare at the stone.
in loving memory of
Miguel Alejandro Sandoval
April 3, 1968 - January 1, 2015
beloved son, uncle, friend, husband and father
As she starts talking softly, some of her words floating away with the slight breeze, Jack hastily grabs her hand with his and intertwines their fingers tightly as Luke adjusts his long limbs so that his head is in her lap. She uses her other hand to play with his curls and takes a shaky breath as Jack places his head on her shoulder. She talks about how she’s back east now and how much she loves residency and how fun it’s been to live with Jack and Luke and how Quinn is captain of the Canucks now and how her mom, Ellen and Jim are doing well. She talks like she’s chatting with her dad over homemade paella on a Sunday morning, rather than in the eerie peacefulness of Flower Hill Cemetery, which is five miles away from the house he grew up in. Jack and Luke don’t say anything, but she doesn’t expect them to. She’s just grateful they’re here with her.
When they’re about to leave, the two boys request a few minutes without her and she just smiles, kissing her hand and touching the stone before walking away. She sits in the car and waits, watching as Luke leans his head on Jack’s shoulder. After six minutes, they’re all on their way back to Hoboken.
After lunch, Jack and Luke head over to…one of their teammate’s places to watch whatever football game is on. They ask, more than once, if Clementine wants to join, but she denies. They both then insist on staying, but she overrules them and practically shoves them out the door, promising that she’ll be okay and that she’ll see them later.
Around an hour later, she’s finishing up prepping some pasta salad for the week ahead when there’s a knock at the door. She hums to herself, confused. She’s not expecting anyone who doesn’t have a key to the place. She swings open the door.
“Nico?” She smiles, albeit confused. “Uh, Hi. Jack and Luke aren’t here.”
“I know. I just saw them.” She’s still confused, but she goes to the side to allow him to come in, closing the door behind him. He slips off his shoes and clears his throat. “Happy new year.”
“Happy new year. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?”
“I just..I was at Nate’s,” Ah, so that’s where they went. “And Jack and Luke came in and we were all bummed you weren’t coming and asked why. They didn’t say much, if that’s what you’re worried about. But I, you know, as captain or whatever, asked them if everything was okay and they said it was and I asked if you not being there had anything to do with why they skipped practice this morning and you know them, especially Jack. He’s such a shitty liar. He just said that it may be a hard day for you today, and I wanted to see if you were okay.”
Clementine isn’t offended, by any means. Too much time — nine years worth of it — has passed for her to feel any animosity of any sort about a touchy thing like this, especially when it’s just Jack and Luke looking out for her. She just smiles, reaching out a hand to take Nico’s coat. “I’m okay. But if you really want to know, it’ll take a bit of time. I’m giving you an out, Cap. It is New Year’s Day.”
“I want to know everything about you,” he says, walking further into her place. She’ll have to unpack that one later.
“Tea or coffee? Or whatever disgusting protein shake Lukey has in the fridge?”
Nico snorts, settling himself down on the coach with the comfortability of someone who lives here. Then again, Clementine is reminded, as he unfolds the white knitted blanket, that Nico’s known the layout of this apartment longer than she has. “Coffee, please. Black is fine.”
“Abysmal,” she remarks, pouring out a cup for him and herself. She sets them down on the coffee table before smiling at him. “Be right back.” She goes into her room to dig through her bookshelf for a specific photo album that she only cracks open during January 1 of every year. It doesn’t take long before she paddles back to the living room, placing the album next to her coffee. She sits a respectable distance from Nico, but tucks herself under the blanket anyway. She watches him sip his coffee for a few moments.
“We were at the cemetery this morning. That’s why Jack and Luke asked to skip morning skate. We were visiting my dad. He died nine years ago today. Cancer,” she says, like she’s recalling a medical fact she read in her textbook. “He was, god, my best friend, really. And the best person, in my completely biased opinion. But maybe not. Miguel Sandoval, everyone used to say — still says — had a heart of gold and a smile as bright as the sun. He loved being outside. Worked as an environmental engineer. He loved chocolate ice cream. He hated mosquitos, always cursed them out in Spanish during the summer just to make me and my mom laugh. He always kicked the ball around in the backyard with me, even after an exhausting day at work. He made the best paella, made it pretty much every Sunday. God, he really did light up every room he walked into. He loved my mom. Loved me. And we loved him. Love him.” She reaches for the album and offers it to Nico, who slowly starts flicking through the pages. She looks on with him at the photos. “My mom, Maeve, and Ellen, Luke and Jack’s mom, played soccer at UNH together and just kept in touch throughout the years. My mom and dad met at UNH too. And then Ellen met Jim, and the four of them were so, so tight, I’ve been told. Double dates, all of that.” She smiles, looking at her mom and dad’s wedding photos. “Ellen was my mom’s maid of honor, and my mom was hers. They always like to remind me that I was in my mom’s stomach when Ellen and Jim got married. Anyways, I was 18 when he died, so looking back, I’m grateful that I even had that many years with him, but at the same time, it felt so short. 100 years wouldn’t have been enough time with him.”
“He sounds like an amazing man,” Nico says softly.
Clementine smiles with him. “He was. It’s easier now. Nine years is a long time. But during the few years after, it was really hard. I felt really guilty going to UCLA just months after he died. Was about to throw it away and go somewhere close to home instead, but my mom insisted, knowing it was my dream school. I felt guilty leaving her across the country, in a fucking different country, but it did help that she had people around to support her. It’s still not easy. This time of the year is always pretty hard on me. And it’ll never really go away. But time does heal.”
She takes a sip of coffee to gather her thoughts, as Nico continues perusing the album, laughing at some and cooing at others when the Hughes brothers start making an appearance. They stop at a picture of her father holding Luke right when he was born in the hospital, Jim proudly smiling in the background and young Jack and Quinn looking on. “My dad loved the boys and I don’t even think saying he loved them captures 1% of it. Those boys were his boys. If I didn’t have soccer games or practices, he was tagging along to all their hockey stuff after work and on the weekends. He didn’t know jackshit about the sport at first, but he eventually learned the ins and outs of the game because he wanted to support them. Did Jack ever tell you why he chose 86? Or why Luke chose 43?”
“I think Jack just said it was a family number or something,” Nico says. “Didn’t go much into it.”
“My dad’s birthday is April 3. 43. I think all of them wore it during their first year at the program. And then Quinn and Luke decided to go back to it in college and beyond, obviously. 43 doubled is 86, of course, but my dad, who was also a middle child, used to say Jack’s personality was so big and bold that it doubled his siblings’. The boys loved him just as much as he loved them.” By now, the tears are gushing down her cheeks. “Sometimes, I think that the three of them took the loss harder than I did. He never got to see them play for their country. He never got to see them get drafted. He never got to witness their first points in the show. And fuck, my dad would’ve cheered so loud. Would’ve been so proud. Probably is so proud, wherever he is. But, you know, during the big moments, and the little ones, we all know he’s there. I just know he is.”
“He is.”
She calms herself down a bit and chuckles. “Sorry, I know it’s a lot.”
“No, no.” They shift closer to each other and she leans into him as he puts an arm around her shoulder. “It’s not a lot. I-thank you. For telling me all of this. Thank you for trusting me.”
Clementine just shrugs, but the weight of her shoulders feels heavy. “I’ve never felt the need to justify to others what the Hughes family means to me, but telling people about…this usually gives them some context. I frankly don’t know if I would’ve survived and gotten through it without them. It’s more than just family friends at this point. It’s family, but it’s also something so much more. I get reminded everyday how lucky I am to have them.”
(She swallows, thinking back to her ex-somethings that could’ve been something more had they not let their insecurities show after finding out how three of her closest friends are not just guys, but nationally scouted hockey players, thinking back to a splattering of girls who she thought were her friends but subtly changed their attitudes when they tried to get Clementine to put a good word in, thinking back to some who brushed aside her own accomplishments to fixate on her pseudo-brothers’ careers. She’s never directly mentioned it to any of the boys. It’s not their burden to worry about. But even if they aren’t as smart as her, she thinks they have an idea)
Nico nods. She thinks he may understand, weirdly enough, despite the different circumstances. It seems like Nico just understands a lot. Nico smiles, setting the album back down gently on the table in front of them. “Your ability to love greatly. Your natural protectiveness. Did that come from your dad?”
“Yeah, actually. I love my mom, of course. But she’s always been more of the tough love parent. I think the protectiveness was more of just the situation I was put in, being the oldest out of all of us and also an only child. But the love…a lot of people who knew my dad say we’re very similar in that aspect. So thank you. I’ll take it as a compliment. That means a lot to me.”
She busies herself and sips on her coffee. Nico clears his throat. "You can feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I just…did your dad’s situation influence you to want to become a doctor?”
“Sorta. I kinda always knew that I wanted to do something in science, but it definitely solidified when he died. I did think about going the oncologist route, a doctor that deals with cancer, but I ultimately decided that it hit too close to home. I-I’d like to think that in a profession that’s dedicated to trying our best to save lives, that I have a perspective on death that helps me more than harms me. Helps the patient and their family more too, hopefully.”
“That’s an extremely mature way to look at it.”
“Jesus, Cap. Way to make me feel old. I’m only 26, you know.”
“With all the stuff you’ve gone through, you’re probably more emotionally, like, 37.” Well, he kinda has a point. “But seriously though. What a beautiful perspective.”
“I appreciate that a lot, thank you.” She snuggles more into the blanket, and therefore, closer to Nico. “Bet you didn’t think you’d get this to start off your year.”
She feels the ghost of his lips press to her hair and hopes he doesn’t feel her racing heart. “Perhaps not. But I’m pretty content with how it’s going so far.”
…..
For Nico’s birthday, Clementine asks Emilia, who’s Swiss, what some traditional Swiss desserts are. After getting a recipe for a semi-complicated cake from Emilia from her mother, she gets to work.
She makes two cakes, or Zuger Kirschtorte, the larger one for Nico and the smaller one for her, Luke and Jack. It takes a good chunk of her evening, but she makes it a whole thing, putting on the Devils vs Caps game, measuring ingredients and going back towards her laptop to make sure she’s following the recipe correctly. She’s momentarily grateful that both boys aren’t here, partially so they don’t distract her in case she fucks up but mostly so they don’t start teasing her. She knows they will eventually, but she would rather hold it off as long as possible.
The cake turns out really good, which is a bit surprising. Clementine’s always liked baking, but she’s not amazing at it. She carefully puts the larger cake in a disposable container, setting it on the counter to give it to Jack and Luke to give to Nico tomorrow morning, putting the smaller one in the fridge. Before she sleeps, she places a sticky note on the lid, “do not touch or i’ll kill you” written out in all capital letters.
(The next morning, Nico smiles when he sees that Clementine had sent him a short text reading “Happy Birthday Cap!! Enjoy your day :)” When Jack walks into the locker room, cake in his hand and beelining towards him, he’s confused.
“Special delivery for the birthday boy,” Jack says with a knowing smile.
Nico furrows his eyebrows. “From who?”
Jack nods to the card taped to the top of the lid. “Read the card and find out.”
Nico sets the cake beside him carefully as Jack practically skips to his stall. He ignores what he feels like are multiple eyes on him as he opens the card. He feels his throat dry up.
Captain,
Happy birthday!! It’s always a joy seeing and talking to you, so thank you for bringing that into my time in Jersey so far. I tried my best with the cake, so forgive me if it isn’t perfect, but I hope it brings you a sense of home.
With love,
Clementine
Nico takes a closer look at the cake and does a double take, before shooting her a quick text of gratitude and carefully putting it into his locker. Hours later, when he finally gets to try it, he closes his eyes in happiness, savoring the taste of a dessert his grandma used to make all the time when he was younger and thinks about the girl who made it.
Two days later, when Clementine’s at The Rock to see all Hughes brothers together on the ice as the Devils take on the Canucks, he’s hoping to catch a glimpse of her afterwards. After getting a hattrick, he’s on a high and he’s hoping even more to get a chance to see her afterwards.
He comes out of the locker room, tired but happy, and first sees Ellen Hughes’s unmistakably bright smile. He greets her politely, grin widening as she pulls him into a motherly hug. He shakes Jim’s hand before Clementine practically jumps onto him, congratulating him on his hat trick with a happy squeal. He can’t help but laugh and squeeze her just a bit tighter before letting go and ruffling Luke’s hair.
“Hey,” he lowers his voice so only Clementine can hear. “Thank you. For the cake. You really didn’t have to. It was delicious.”
“Really?” She says, tucking her hair behind her ears and bouncing on her toes. “Oh, I’m so glad you liked it!”
“How did you-where did you get the recipe?”
“One of my friends from the hospital is Swiss. I asked her, and she got it from her mom.”
All Nico can do is blink, because he’s so fucking touched that someone would go out of the way like that. He takes a second to look at Clementine’s beautiful smile and takes a deep breath. “I really appreciate it. Thank you.”
She just beams. Nico wants to bottle it up.
Right as he’s slipping into bed that night, he checks his texts one last time, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees a text from Luke from four minutes ago. It’s a Twitter link. Confused, Nico clicks on it. It’s a short clip of the broadcast from the game earlier, after he had scored his hattrick. It shows him celebrating on the ice, then pans the bench, fans, before panning to the Hughes family box. He smiles, watching as everyone cheers, but he immediately notices Clementine, in Quinn’s Canucks jersey nonetheless, jumping out of her seat first and raising her arms in excitement, clapping and shouting and smiling.
As he’s watching the video again, Luke sends another text.
Luke Hughes
Ask her out already
I’m getting impatient
Nico just dislikes the second text. He watches the video one more time before shutting off his phone.)
…..
Residency keeps Clementine crazy busy the next few weeks, that even though she wants to go to more games, she’s either working or too tired to drag herself to The Rock. She barely can keep her eyes open even when she puts a game on the TV, and is always fully asleep before Quinn and the Canucks on the west coast even take the ice.
But finally, on a cold Saturday, on their day off, she drags Emilia along to see the Devils face the Canadiens. It’s a plus that she gets to see Cole again, because Cole has the ability to always put a smile on her face.
Additionally, it’s a noon game, which is super rare. And Clementine takes that as a chance to host a small little thing at their place afterwards with an open invite to any of the players — on both teams — and their families. She can’t keep track of who knows who in the small world of professional hockey. She’s getting some of her residency friends to come too.
If she has the energy and time to host something, she’ll do it. She used to love hosting in college and med school, even if it was just something as simple as a potluck. She’s aware it’s the middle of the season and they can’t go crazy, but she loves filling her home with love and conversation.
Right after the game, she and Emilia both bolt out of there, Clementine momentarily thankful that they coincidentally parked close to the entrance so she could fight her way out of the lot within a decent time. Luckily, a lot of significant others offered to bring something or pick something up, so she and Emilia don’t have to prepare that much. Once they reach the apartment, Emilia helps Clementine out with her giant charcuterie board before taking out the tray of lemon squares she had made the night before and starting to cut them.
Soon enough, everyone trickles in seemingly one after the other and Clementine is bustling around, making her rounds. She practically pounces on Cole, smiling at the sight of his smile and demanding him to catch her up on everything.
She’s so busy mingling that she forgets to pour herself a glass of wine even though the bottles have already been opened. She doesn’t really realize it until she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Nico with a smile paired with a glass of wine in his hand.
“For you,” Nico says softly. Somehow, it stands out above the loudish volume chatter in the apartment. “Got the last of it in that glass. Figured you might want some.”
She accepts the glass with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Cap. This one is one of my favorites.”
“I figured,” he says. She raises an eyebrow. He smiles a bit shyly. “On Christmas, you brought two bottles of that when we went to see Jack and Luke, and well, your, family. And I’ve seen at least one bottle of it at the apartment every time I’ve gone in recently and I know for a fact that Luke doesn’t like wine and Jack doesn’t know a shitty one from a good one.”
She snorts. “You’d think that allowing them to sneak some from my glass at family dinners for so long would’ve given them some taste. Instead, Luke has decided that a shitty beer is always his go-to and Jack’s go-to drink is a margarita like a psychopath.”
Nico chuckles, amused. “Bashing on Luke’s drink of choice is fair, even if I don’t agree, but what do you have against margaritas?”
“Many of my not-so-great moments in college have started with tequila,” she says with a shudder. “Even the smell of it makes me want to throw up these days.”
He laughs as she sips on her lovely wine. “Party animal back at college?”
“I wouldn’t say so. But work hard, play hard was the motto for a lot of my friends, and I wasn’t always strong enough to ward away their pleas.” She nods at him. “How about you? Is your drink of choice actually beer or are you normal?”
“I’m not picky. Beer’s pretty huge back home, though. So it’s what will usually be shoved in your hand whether you like it or not.”
“I went to Zurich two years ago for a friend’s wedding. It might be the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to.”
“Zurich’s great,” Nico smiles, his eyes flashing in a way she hasn’t seen before. “The whole country. It’s beautiful. It’s home. There’s nothing like home.”
“You miss it during the season? Or are you used to it by now?”
“Mostly used to it. It makes it all the more special when I do go back in the summer, you know? Also, it’s nice to have Siegs, Schmido and Timo here. A little taste of home even though we’re so far from it. Remind me again where home is for you? Toronto, right? Or Michigan?”
She chuckles. “It’s tricky. I grew up in Toronto, but my mom lives in Boston now. And you know, I was out in California for so long. So Toronto, but also Massachusetts, but also California? I don’t really know. But I’m also going to be in Jersey for the next four-ish years at least, so right now, it’s New Jersey.”
“And you’re happy with that?”
Clementine looks around the apartment with a giddy smile. “If it’s gonna look something like this, I think so.”
“Clem!” She turns her head to see Cole bouncing towards her. He halts quickly though. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re good, man.” Nico says, shooting one last smile at Clementine. “Enjoy the wine.”
“Thanks for getting it for me.” He nods once and gives a friendly pat to Cole’s shoulder before walking towards the living room.
Cole looks between Nico’s retreating back and Clementine, a mischievous smile growing on his lips. She narrows her eyes. “I don’t like that smile, Coley. What do you want?”
“Nothing! It’s a lovely little thing you have here. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Anytime. You looked great out there earlier.”
Cole puffs out his chest a bit and she refrains from rolling her eyes. “You think?”
“Well, I’m not an analyst. Or a coach. Or an expert of the game of hockey in any way. So take all my opinions with a grain of salt.”
“Sure,” he says, leaning his hip on the counter behind him. “But with the amount of hockey games you’ve watched in your lifetime combined with how much you’ve been surrounded by it all your life, I’d say you could give even the best analysts at The Athletic a run for their money.”
“Not by choice,” she grunts.
Cole just smiles. His default expression, which Clementine can’t help but just adore. “Sure, Clem. Sure.”
“You’re being weird. What do you want?”
“For years you’ve been around hockey players. For years you’ve been around them flirting with you. And you finally crack because of the Swiss captain?”
She plops a few nuts in her mouth. “Whatever Jack and Luke have been feeding you, ignore it. You should know better.”
“They’re not feeding me anything, thank you very much!” She gives him a skeptical look. Cole, like the weakling he is, cracks. “Okay, maybe they have. But I’m also not blind, Clem. Hischier’s well-liked in the league. I think you two would be good together.”
She points at him playfully. “It is not your job to be thinking about these things.”
“Then whose is it?” He shoots back, playful smile still on his face but with a more serious tinge on the edges. “Clem, we’re not 16 anymore. Give us some credit. Let us matchmake a little.”
She snorts. “With love, absolutely fucking not. I know Jack has this fantasy in his head that I’ll date his captain and it’ll be all great, but he needs to chill.”
“He told you that?”
“More or less. He’s not subtle.”
Cole shrugs. “I’m not pushing, Clem. I’m not Jack or, even worse, Trevor. But just, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not just a fantasy in Jack’s mind. He adores Nico. And you know he thinks the world of you. Maybe he actually sees something there. I don’t think he’d encourage it so much or fuck around with that just to fuck around. You’re some of the most important people in his life.”
Clementine sneaks a look at Nico, who’s literally just existing, and she can’t help but smile. At the sight of his smile. At the sight of him talking to Emilia. At the possibilities. But she turns back to Cole with a dimmer smile. “I don’t know, Coley. It’s not that-Nico’s amazing. He’s honestly just so…good. I don’t think he has a manipulative bone in his body. I just feel like I come with so much baggage, you know? No one’s gonna want that.”
Cole makes a noise in his throat. “Okay, first of all. It’s not baggage. It’s life. Everyone comes with some sort of baggage, so that’s stupid. Second of all, you have so many people who already love you despite the ‘baggage.’ What’s adding one more person to that list?”
She just hums. Cole offers her a smile, before switching topics to the Taylor Swift concert he went to last summer, which she knows he’s bringing up just to rile her up.
…..
On April 3, Clementine wakes up for work, to see that Jack and Luke are already awake, much to her surprise. She looks to the kitchen island and sees a plate of blueberry pancakes. She smiles sadly — her dad used to always make blueberry pancakes for breakfast if the boys were over. She doesn’t say anything and just hugs them both tightly as they all dig in. She has to run to work, and kisses them both on the cheek before heading out, promising to see them tonight.
After her shift ends, Clementine ducks into the staff bathroom to change. No jersey this time, but a cropped black Devils crewneck she cut herself with skinny jeans. She bids farewell to her coworkers before swiping her keycard and hopping on the train to Madison Square Garden. She’s meeting up with Emilia, who had the day off, and her husband Tony to watch the Devils take on the Rangers.
She’s grown to love The Rock, but going to a game at Madison Square Garden is pretty cool, even if she gets playfully chirped by Rangers fans multiple times as she walks in. She happily sips on her rum and coke, chatting with Emilia and Tony as she sees the seats slowly fill with blue. Hockey is always fun to watch, but she hasn't been to a game yet that has a rivalry quite like this one.
As the game starts and she naturally gets into it, she finds herself having a moment where she wishes her father was in the empty seat next to hers. Luke scores a goal, and for a split second, her fingers itch to reach out to hug him as if he was there. She shakes it off and just keeps cheering and playfully getting up in Emilia and Tony’s faces while trying not to spill her second rum and coke for the night. Seeing the 43 on Luke’s jersey makes her emotional and she bites her lip to keep herself together.
Afterwards, after a tough 2-1 loss, she bids Emilia and Tony goodnight as she tries to find the path to the locker rooms, even though she always insists that she doesn’t need an all-access pass or whatever, especially at an away game. But Jack and Luke always insist (“We’re literally all going to the same place after anyways. And this one is at MSG. We gotta make sure you haven’t been injured by their fans.”) and she’s learned to pick her battles with them.
It’s a nice enough night out, so she decides to wait outside instead of inside the hallway, texting Jack and Luke that she’s outside the exit. She ends up chatting with Jared, one of the guys on their equipment team, about how his daughter is just about to finish her first year of med school at UMass before the doors swing open. As usual, she gives Luke and then Jack comforting hugs, kissing their cheeks and ruffling their hair. Various members of the team start trickling out and she greets them all with smiles, chuckling softly as Dawson wraps her in a tight hug.
Since MSG is decently close to Newark (without traffic, that is, which is practically impossible for New York City), a lot of the guys drove together to come to the arena this morning. So she watches as they debate who’s getting in whose car, since apparently it has to be different from this morning because of who lives where and a bunch of factors Clementine doesn’t understand. As long as she’s getting home somehow, she doesn’t care.
She’s tuned them out so it takes Jack calling her name twice for her to pay attention. “Sorry. What’s up?”
“Do you mind riding with Neeks?” Jack says, waving his hand around. “We have a bigger car and it’s easier if we drop off Nate, Holtzy and-”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine,” she turns to Nico. “You sure you have room? I can always just take the train back.”
Nico snorts, “Jack and Luke would kill me if I had you going back on the train this late. I have plenty of room in my car. I’m just taking Bratter back.”
“Only if you’re sure,” she says, before nodding at Jack and Luke. “See you both at home.”
(She misses the look that the boys all give Nico)
She insists that Jesper take the front seat, practically shoving him and quickly climbing into the back, making Nico laugh. Somehow, the traffic in Lincoln Tunnel is bearable and they’re in Jersey City in just over half an hour. Clementine hops out to give Jesper a hug once they reach his place before sliding into the passenger seat.
Nico hands her the aux cord, as Jesper had been auxing earlier. She gives him a look. “Are you sure?”
He looks behind him before pulling back on the road. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She hums in response, satisfied, before shuffling one of her playlists. “When do you have to go into work tomorrow?”
“Uh, not until after lunch.”
“Perfect. Are you hungry?”
“A bit actually, yeah.”
“Wanna grab a quick bite to eat and maybe a drink? I know a place that’s pretty close to here.”
She looks at the side of his face with a smile. “Yeah,” she says softly. “That sounds great.”
Nico catches her eye quickly, and smiles back. “Okay, great. Yeah.”
Within 10 minutes, Nico parks his car in the parking lot of a beer garden. It’s lively, but not crowded enough to overwhelm her. The outside patio is beautiful, and Nico just looks behind her with an encouraging smile. Without thinking, she grabs his hand and they walk in.
He confidently strolls up to the bar, greeting the bartender, who seems to recognize him and greets him with a friendly handshake, causing her to let go of his hand. The bartender, Adam, he introduces himself as, is already filling up a pint of beer for Nico as he asks her what she wants to drink. She orders herself a rum and coke. He asks if Nico wants “his usual” for the food order and Nico nods, also adding something else that he says too fast for Clementine to decipher. But Adam just nods, before saying he’ll put the order in and goes to prepare their drinks.
“You come around here often?”
Nico shrugs. “I guess. A bunch of the boys do. It’s a good place to hang out and grab some food.” They both grab their drinks and Nico leads her to the outdoor patio with his hand hovering over her back.
She slides into her seat, putting her hair up and taking a sip of her drink. “I’m sorry about the loss.”
“It’s not the end of the world, since we’ve already clinched playoffs…”
“But it still sucks?” She finishes for him. He nods, and she offers a sympathetic smile. “I get it, especially against the Rangers, I’m sure. But you guys still skated really well.”
“Thanks.” He smiles over his glass. “How was your day?”
Clementine blinks repeatedly, her throat suddenly feeling rough. It’s more likely that he’s just asking to be polite, but the fact that after a tough loss, he’s interested and cares enough to even ask. He must notice something shift in her eyes because he softens, hands itching to grab hers. She does the job for him, grabbing his hand probably too quickly. But before she can think too much on it, he loosely intertwines their fingers on the table.
She clears her throat. “Honestly, not the best. Ending on a good note though.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
She chuckles weakly. “Would you even wanna hear it?”
“Of course I would.”
She finds nothing but sincerity in his eyes. She takes another sip of her drink. “One of the our cancer patient’s chemo results came back ineffective, which is just…so fucking shitty. Docs aren't deterred though and they talked with the kid’s parents today about targeted therapies which is good…” she trails off with a shrug. “Just being in the room as they broke the news, it…I don’t know. It’s always tough. Had me thinking.”
“Back to your own dad?” Nico asks carefully.
Clementine nods, surprised that he remembered. Before she can respond, their food comes and her stomach is happy seeing the large tray of loaded fries in front of them. They dig in for a moment and she nods. “Yeah.”
“Do you do anything special to celebrate? For his birthday?” He asks.
“Nothing really set in stone. I always try to do something, whether it’s watch his favorite movie or listen to his favorite songs. Something small and personal. I’m usually not in town to visit his grave, but my mom tries to go. He used to always make blueberry pancakes, so Jack and Luke made some this morning, which was sweet.”
“Jack and Luke know how to make pancakes?”
She snorts. “I’m just as surprised as you are. Yeah, so nothing crazy. Called my mom during my lunch break just to make sure she was all good.”
“What does she do?”
“She’s a teacher. 5th grade. So 10 and 11 year olds. She loves it. All the teachers have their own little group. She has her summers off to travel and spend time with family and friends.” Clementine pulls out her phone, quickly finding a picture in her camera roll of her and mom earlier this year at her graduation. “Good old Maeve. Irish to the core and proud of it, yet still can curse you out in Spanish pretty well. Says that that was one of the first things my dad taught her when they were in college.”
Nico laughs. “I still automatically switch to Swiss-German when I wanna curse and chirp. It takes a couple of seconds to translate to English in my head. But sometimes it just sounds so much better in Swiss-German that I wish people could understand.”
“Do you think in Swiss-German still, or do you think more in English?”
“It depends. I would say day to day, definitely Swiss-German. But if I’m at the rink and I’m, you know, talking to the team and stuff, usually English. I’ve trained myself in games to think pretty much in English now, since it’s so fast. But if I’m tired, my brain just switches back to Swiss-German.”
“That makes sense.”
“Do you speak any other languages?”
She wipes her fingers on her napkin. “I speak enough Spanish to be able to get by, though it’s not as great as it used to be. Apparently I was fluent as a child.”
“Is all your family in the states?”
“Nah. Every year during the summer when I was a kid, we used to go to Spain and Ireland to see family over there. I haven’t gotten to go back there in a few years, but I’d like to at some point.”
Nico hums, just as a waiter comes with a plate of two large chocolate chip cookies. Clementine grins at Nico, who just nods at her to dig in. “Where in Spain is your family from?”
“Seville area, so more south.” She smiles, picturing Seville in her head, some of the rum and coke finally hitting her. “I loved getting to see where my dad grew up. Playing soccer in the fields where he played. Eating at the small restaurants he used to eat at. Remember when you asked me where home was?” Nico blinks for a moment before nodding. “I think I lied. It’s physical places sure, but it’s always been more of the people for me. And their joy and where they feel the most joy. So if we’re basing it off that, home could be Seville. Home could be Cork in Ireland. Home could be Toronto. Home could be Boston. Hell, home could be fucking Michigan with Q, Jack and Lukey even if I’ve only been there, like, three times.”
“Well, where’s home for you at this second? Right here. Right now.”
“I don’t know. Everywhere? Nowhere?” She looks down at the table, eyebrows furrowing at herself at how emotional she’s getting. She blames the rum, from just now and earlier at the game. “That’s a depressing answer. I’m sorry. I guess, I just, when Luke scored tonight, the 43 on the back of his jersey, for a split second, I thought my dad was sitting next to me. I reached out to the empty seat next to me like he was. But he wasn’t. And I’m so, so sad he wasn’t.” She sniffles, “I’m sorry. Fuck. This isn’t-”
“Hey, hey.” Nico assures, holding her hand across the table again. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, okay? Nothing. I promise.”
She doesn’t let any tears fall and just stares into Nico’s comforting eyes with a small laugh. “I feel like you’ve seen me emotional a decent amount considering how short of a time we’ve known each other.”
“That’s okay. Emotions are good.” She chuckles again and his dimples grow deeper. “I-I figured today might be hard. I wanted- I wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.”
“So you only asked me to grab food for ulterior motives? Not just cause you wanted to hang out?”
His eyes widen almost comically. “No! No. I-I love spending time with you. I just-”
“Relax, Nico. I’m just messing with you,” she giggles as he rolls his eyes. “I appreciate it, though. Really. I think you’re too kind to me.”
“I’m just the right amount of kind to you.”
She watches as he finishes off his beer and has a sudden urge to lean across the table and kiss him.
…..
(That night, when she comes home, she expects Jack and Luke to be asleep. They aren’t. Instead, they’re both sitting on the couch, some random hockey game on quietly in the background. Their heads snap in her direction as the door clicks shut.
She immediately holds up her hand. “Don’t even. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Hear what?” Luke says. “That you’re fucking our captain?”
“Crude, first of all. Untrue, second of all. And third of all, and most importantly, you guys are annoying.”
“You’re deflecting,” Jack sings.
“You haven’t asked me a question,” she shoots back. “Goodnight, you two.”
They both groan. “Can you both just get over whatever the fuck you two have going on and make it official?” Jack whines.
“Goodnight,” she repeats, walking to her room. “Don’t forget breakfast tomorrow!”
She collapses on her bed and screams into her pillow)
…..
If Clementine’s completely honest to herself, making it to the home games for the playoffs is a priority because she just wants to be there just as much, if not more, than she wants to be there to support. Hockey with stakes is nerve wracking, but it’s also a completely different game than the regular season. Even after what could be the most bone-tiring day of work, she’s excited to have the next month or so be filled with as much hockey as possible. She doesn’t even try to fight when Jack and Luke automatically put her name down for a ticket for every home game. Even if she won’t be able to make it come the day, she’ll just leave it for one of their friends. She heard that some of Luke’s Michigan friends are trying to make it out, to which she’s simultaneously elated by but also dreading. Their apartment will not be quiet for the foreseeable future.
The day of their first game against the Penguins, she doesn’t have to go into the hospital, since she had just done two overnights in three days. She sleeps soundly until 2 p.m., and crawls out quietly, knowing both Jack and Luke’s door are shut as they’re taking their pregame naps. She pours out a cup of coffee, makes herself a sandwich, before settling on the couch with a textbook beside her and her notebook on her lap.
She hears Jack and Luke start getting ready, shower heads running and closet doors opening and shutting. When they both come out in their game day suits, she insists on taking a picture of the both of them, to which they both groan at. They relent, and she sends the picture to Ellen, Jim and Quinn, before squeezing them and telling them good luck, promising them that she’ll see them afterwards.
After they leave, she starts getting ready, humming to herself as she heats up the flat iron to put some waves and volume into her hair. She figures she has the time, and she hasn’t done anything to her hair in awhile.
As she’s about to put the flat iron to her hair, someone knocks on the door. She rolls her eyes and yells out, “You two have keys, you know? Use them for once.” No response, just three more knocks. She huffs in annoyance, sets her flat iron down and walks to the door.
“I’m going to fucking kill-oh.” It’s Nico, in his perfect game day suit with his hair styled perfectly. “Nico. Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be-”
He kisses her.
Oh.
He’s still kissing her, both his hands on her cheeks and she finds herself fisting his shirt. He’s still kissing her, and she doesn’t want him to stop. He tries to pull away, but she pulls him back in, and she smiles against his lips at the little noise that comes out of his mouth. He tastes like mint and home.
He does eventually pull away, flushed and delighted and flustered. “I have to go.”
“You have impeccably shit timing, Cap.”
They both chuckle. He takes a hold of her hands. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just had to.”
“Why?” She’s not letting him go that easy.
He squeezes her hands. His stare is making her feel the most seen she’s felt in awhile. “Well, I-I have a long answer that I don’t think I can think of right now. But the short answer is that I like you. A lot. And I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day at the hospital and every day since.”
She swallows, straightening his shirt that she messed up. “Go. I’ll see you after the game, yeah?” She kisses him on the cheek before forcing herself to back away. With one last grin, he shoves his hands in his pockets and turns around. She leans her hip against the door frame, “Nico?”
He turns back around in the middle of the hallway, “Yeah?”
She grins, fondness in her skin and bones. “Good luck. You’ll be great.” With one last salute from him, she closes the door. She leans her back against her door and lets out a little squeal.
…..
(The second Nico walks out of the locker room, all she can see is him. His hair is messy as all hell and he looks exhausted, but his face lights up, and for the first time, she knows it’s because of her.
Without another word, she walks over to him and kisses him. It’s hard to ignore the cheers and whistles from the other people around them, but she ignores them, catching her breath with a giggle. She finally hones in on the other people in the room. Dawson’s grinning, Ryleigh shoots her a thumbs up, Curtis is audibly ‘aww’ing, Jonas is yelling something that she can’t understand but Nico can, judging from his blush.
“Ew,” Nico and Clementine whip around to see Luke with his nose scrunched up. “Like, I’m happy that you two finally, you know, got your heads out of your asses, but ew. I don’t wanna see it.”
Jack, who’s right next to him, is just grinning. For once, he’s saying nothing. Clementine’s suspicious. She narrows her eyes at him. “Nothing to say, Jacky?”
“Nothing Hisch doesn’t already know,” the two centers exchange a look that has her whipping her head between the both of them. “He’s just lucky we already played Vancouver so he doesn’t have to encounter Quinn.”
“You guys are ridiculous,” Clementine scolds. “Leave him alone.”
“Never, especially not now. Now he’s really stuck with us.” Jack beams. “You gonna ride with Cap or are we taking you home?”
She pokes Nico in the side. He looks down at her with a sweet smile. “Drive me home?” She asks.
“Always.”
For herself, but more to annoy Jack and Luke, she kisses him one more time. They both groan as Clementine feels Nico’s smile against her lips.)
#k writes#hockey fanfiction#hockey fanfic#devils#new jersey devils#nico hischier#nico hischier fic#nico hischier x oc#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes#nico hischier blurb#hockey blurb#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb#nhl
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I have been pondering the recent rash of "post canon NHS and LXC would never ever reconcile bc even if NHS wanted to have Er-ge back, LXC would never ever forgive him for [insert reason of choice here]" type of posts + the "do you think NHS thinks very hard about how much Da-ge would hate him for becoming [the way that he is now] by choosing to seek vengeance" type of posts, and I think fundamentally the reason these posts do not jive with me is that we have no indication, in the show or in the book that uh, NHS gives a shit about either of these things very much anymore?
The first type of post is predicated on the assumption that LXC's forgiveness or lack thereof some some sort of either extension of mercy (which NHS obviously does not deserve <- or so assumes the post) or some form of punishment (which is obviously the correct answer) but the last scene we get with NHS both in the book and the show make no indication that this is a thing he wants? Or cares about? Book NHS has *sauntered off* with his little hat trophy and Show NHS walks off screen after saying something along the lines of "What is my responsibility I won't shirk, what isn't my responsibility I won't care about." Now, arguably, show NHS is having a worse go of it emotionally, but shows no real inclination or interest in either apologies or making up and being friends again with LWJ, LXC, WWX, or other people. Book NHS seems pretty pleased with the outcome of the events as a whole?
The second type of post is predicated on the fact that NHS finds Da-ge's judgement a horrible burden to bear at this stage in the game, which! He might! But again especially in the book we get no indication that he has any fucks left to give about what Da-ge may or may not have wanted since Da-ge is dead. In both the show and the book, NHS went about revenge taking very specific and complicated actions with the desired result of JGY dying, but he certainly took the scenic route getting there, which, he didn't need to? As I've written about before, JGY didn't see him as a threat. If he wanted JGY dead he could've arranged to poison JGY's tea like, 10 years ago and had done with it instead of his complicated Rube Goldberg life ruining scheme. If he is still sickly anxious about how Da-ge might feel about the scheming and the trouble causing and the whole everything, that's certainly possible, but he must've decided it was worth it anyway regardless of that, and I don't know that it necessarily would've changed just because he got what he wanted at the end.
Overall, I think as a fandom we think a lot about like "will and should this relationship ever be repaired or similar to how it used to be?" and "does this character deserve/not deserve the forgiveness of people they've hurt or abandoned?" which can be interesting questions! I do feel like these are often taken as "is a character morally good (deserves to be forgiven) or morally bad (deserves to rot in hell forever never forgiven ever ever)" and based entirely on if Character is the meta writer's blorbo. Under this paradigm the concept of "Character did bad things to get exactly what they wanted and were happy about that and no relationships were ever repaired and the emotional detachment of people they used to care about no longer matters to them!" is uncomfortable.
It's just that for NHS I've increasingly come to the conclusion that canonically, I don't think NHS thinks he has anything to apologize for, nor is he super interested in being forgiven! He got what he wanted the way he wanted it to happen. Which is potentially supremely unsatisfying but I think is very sexy as a narrative concept.
#like for the record#nie huaisang IS my blorbo#and I like a good reconciliation fic and nhs is feeling some kind of way about everything fic like#at LEAST as much as the rest of us if not more#but these POSTS I keep seeing mostly serve to bludgeon him with the 'punishment' of LXC's unforgiveness or NMJ's judgment#as a means to say he was wrong and should repent and probably shouldn't've murdered JGY or something#I don't think this punishment works canonically because he appears to give no shits about this anymore#anyway#meta#my meta#nie huaisang#nie huaisang my beloved
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UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY
Heyy all! I've been focusing on my senior professional medical year and it has been stressful. So here are some things I manifested effortlessly and a few things without me thinking about it. Long ass post ahead! ⚠️⚠️
1. Getting more pocket money than usual. Like my parents usually transact in my account like a $80 or $100 AUD per month. But in both feb and march this year, they transacted me $500 and $700 AUD! Plus! I occasionally find $10 or $50 cash in my classroom or on the streets sometimes (and they come lie next to my feet 😭) I'd ask everyone in my class if it's theirs, and they say no. What do y'all expect me to do? Like go and give it to the university management?? 😭 hell no, so i kept it lol.
2. MANIFESTED DIOR'S LIP OILS!! 😭😭 LIKE 5 OF THEM 😭 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE OBSESSED WITH LIP OILS 😭😭 AND I WANTED THE RASPBERRY ONE SO BAD, AND GUESS WHAT? I MANIFESTED IT ALONG WITH 4 OTHER SHADESS OMGGG 😭😭😭
3. My crush giving me hints that she's obsessed with me 😭 like she literally told me 'you're so sweet and caring, I've never met a person like this after my grandma' cus her grandma passed away recently and she was so depressed. She even had an eye infection, so she stopped coming to the uni. So i had to make sure she's alright, and met her everyday cus she needed someone real bad. Like she needed to talk to someone and get that thing bothering her outta her head. I was there all along whatever she was going through (don't come at me y'all, ik if we help someone they would say all these things but she's my crush lol so) She's also getting real close to me, like she tells me how annoying people are lol. She loves skin ship, physical touch, being clingy around me, and complimenting me 😭😭 so these are the hints 😭 like friends wouldn't do that right? Would they?? (My friends diss me right in front of everyone 😶)
4. I've always been the type to care too much for the silliest things, nowadays I don't really put my energy into it and become all anxious. My anxiety levels have completely gone down like I'm literally cool asf?? Even while being in public?? Literally yess
5. Manifested getting my hair coloured next week! and my mom permitted me! For my cousin's engagement in april, I wanna be there like the hot younger sister I am lol. I just wanna make my relatives and their kids jealous cus they made fun of me when I was younger (my younger self has been dreaming for this moment) so why not a revenge glow up?? 😭
6. Losing weight even though I eat like a pig due to my study stress. Like literally I ate a 5 course meal one day and lost 2 kgs the next day? (cus I randomly checked my weight for 2 days cus I had to submit my height and weight to the university student records)
7. Getting a natural blush on my face! Like it's such a game changer, I look like a movie star y'all 😭✋🏻
8. My teachers complimenting me for my discipline and high scores. As yk uni professors don't even give af bout students and they complimented me??
9. Getting into a new friend group! My old one was too toxic and they would always bully me (verbally) my new friend group is literally soo damn enjoyable! Like they're the cool kids of the year 😭 and now I'm one too!
10. As I mentioned in my older post that I'm moving into an apartment. We moved in and it was too difficult for me to sleep as the place was new and also there we're disturbances in the night time like stomping noises or playing loud music at night. So the neighbors there were too sweet that they introduced and comforted us that it's okay and if something's bothering us they'll take care of it. And they literally made the people who we're causing those disturbances to vacate out 😭😭✋🏻
11. My hair getting shinier! It was brittle before as I was severely anemic, now my baby hair is back and it's shining ✨
12. I overheard my parents conversing that they should make me audition for an entertainment company....like what? 😭😭✋🏻 when I asked them once years back they denied giving me a 4 hour lecture and now they wanna make me audition?? Like literally 😭 y'all watch me at the Grammy's (after 5 years lol)
13. Getting into the void on command or intention.
14. I literally get free foods everywhere I go 😭😭
15. I got free gifts from my uncle who's living in France! He works at a fashion company and he sent me perfumes and a few outfits (I can't reveal it I'm sorry)
I ONLY WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY LIP OIL, GETTING CLOSE TO MY CRUSH AND FOCUSING ON MY STUDIES. THE REST, I MANIFESTED WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.
SO WHAT NEXT?
I've decided to respawn to my waiting next month. I'm still scripting how my waiting room should be... So it might take time for me. So till then I'm gonna be strengthening my self concept even more, and also getting more and more excited to be in my waiting room! I want my waiting room to be like a more like a sci fi movie and a princess fairytale combined 😭 (ik I'm weird). Like I just want my favorite anime characters to be there to help me script my DR ✋🏻 So I'm kinda in a more excited mode lately to script my waiting room! Will give you updates on how my waiting room will be in a future post! So until then take care, love you, byeeee byeeee!
- olivia 🤍
#law of assumption blog#law of assumption#loassblog#loassumption#neville goddard#reality shifting#loa success#affirmdaily#dream life#frequency#manifestations#manifestyourreality#scripting#void state#void success#void thoughts#advaita vedanta#advaita#non dualism#non duality#mini shift#shifting realities#affirm and persist#visualisation#live in the end#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#updates#mental diet#mental health
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Taking a step back from twisted singer reader (I'll be back). I really want to expand/give origins ideas to the group chat(s?). Like how reader got the phone, how they got added and other things. Btw love who added that
With that said I'm starting a new agenda: ✨Grandfather Mozus Trein :D✨ Everyone knows that Crowley is *cough* neglectful & irresponsible *cough* always there for his students and never once put himself first 🤠. I feel like reader low-key reminds Trein of Anastasia (red hair) ya know? Maybe it's how reader plays with their hair when they start getting bored or the doodles on the written exams. All these little habits they share. Just an old man missing his family.
Someone has to be a responsible adult for reader and who else is better then a father with so much wisdom. He knows Yuu has a way of communicating and protecting himself so he isn't as concerned ,but poor reader can't do that to save their life :(
So I can see Trein giving them(mostly reader) a phone (B4 book 4). It's nothing new or special; it has an old blue case with a fading pattern and skuffs. The best part about it is Trein paying the bill. The wallpaper is changed to Grimm napping tho
It's kinda an unspoken rule that reader keeps it for the most part. With Yuu and all the things he tends to get into it would last a week if he was lucky.
More then likely the only numbers in the phone are Aduce/ maybe the other first years and Trein ,but I don't really see any of them be texters tbh. So not much coming in. Maybe a few homework questions??
As for apps a see maybe 2-ish games 👁️👄➖
Over all, it's just a classic antisocial person's phone. Until Cater finds out. Next time Yuu has the phone Carter tells him what should be added and how to #sign up for them. And Yuu being the person he is asks "Cater how do I help my introvert make friends?" Cater being the #helpful upperclassmen is he downloads the app and sends the invite.
The app they use is probably the twst discord. I think that's the only social idia has/honestly uses Some of them has like a cover for the icon. Like no one can know they use that app for whatever reason.
Everyone besides reader kinda knows what account belongs to which person. To add a bit of anonymous(ness?). Cuz no way would reader give her honest opinion about Rook or someone else if she knew that they themselves/close friends are in the chat.
Imagine if one of the guys that reader doesn't get along with ends up being one of reader's close/safe online friend. Like idk if you know who Aphmau is but she has a Minecraft roleplay PDH (don't judge me plss) where Aph and Aaron don't like each other irl but are really close online friends.
I'm sorry if my asks tend to be all over the place. I get sided tracked a lot and end up spacing out every 10 works. This was written between 3-5ish am. Also 👉👈 I think the reason we're on the same brain wave is cuz we're air signs.
Also thank you for liking/replying to my ask/yapping ☺️ it's means a lot to me
I've been waiting to get a Mac charger just to answer this ask🤭
GRANDFATHER TREIN IS SOMETHING I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED BUT GLAD I GOT
because we always see crewel v crowley for custody over yuu.
but I defiantly agree with you that trein would see one of his daughters; especially anastasia in reader. whether it's by a few habits they both share, or how they're sometimes second fiddle to their more out going companion. but trein can see reader's life falling into shambles the more they're in twisted wonderland, the more they're isolated, and it kills him as both a father and educator.
and believe it or not, he cares about his students. they may not think so and curse him in the hallways, but they'll be thanking him in years to come, they always do (he prides himself in that, and the line of students he has at reunions telling him they're the best teacher they ever had.)
so maybe he pulls reader aside after class, ofc he can tell how tense they are, how nervous they are... especially by how intense their eye contact is, a little creepy but trein understands. he tells them to sit down in a chair he magically spawned as he flicks his head at lucien. who is all too glad to use you as a chair. he can see reader visibly relax as they're testing the water's with the temperamental feline, but trein starts talking.
he wants to help them, as he wouldn't be doing his job as an educator if he just stood by and watched you struggle. how he would have failed the pledge he made to crowley and himself if he let one os his students fall under the radar in favor for his smarter ones.
yes that should sting but it's the truth, and to no fault of your own. you obviously had... less than stupor teaching before this, and you have to catch up on a decades worth of stuff due to your... situation. and he is willing to help you during both lunch hours and free period. he also recommends student tutors for this and is willing to work out some kind of deal between you and the tutors. he wants to see you succeed. not just to prove he can turn a pumpkin into a carriage, but because you deserve it.
maybe you're not so much like his biological daughter, but like his step daughter. the one with a soul of diamond but a heart of glass. and if reader ever needs someone trustworthy (and he emphasizes this) that isn't actively split-dying their hair in their thirties or prances around with a bird mask then he is always open.
no matter how burdenous they feel relying on him, or if they think the matters are silly. he will tell it to them straight. he also suggests talking to cater diamond of heartslabyul, that if anyone can help you make friends, its that chatterbox.
dont even try to refute it cause trein AND lucien will be sporting you an unimpressed look.
but I swear to everything cater has a fucking NOSE- a sniffer if you would for introverts. or he has mastered chenya's invisibility spell and over heard your conversation because- I AGREE WITH YOU- yuu would 100% ask cater to help his little ol' introvert make friends.
so he seeks them out, grabs their phone while chatting away, and downloads 'magi cord' dw yuu is there too. cater even goes a step further and adds his contact to their phone because 'tehe he has the elusive reader's number and no body else does! #1inamillion #hewon! #he'sgonnaextrovertsohardit'llmakeyourheadspin 😼
but later that night you're fighting to go on the app when cater sends you a link, the second message he sends you (with 'hey hey! it's your fav upper classmen cay-cay here!' with an obnoxious amount of emojis, being the first)
it's a link to a magi cord group chat called; raven of secrets. (or smthn idk, I pulled that out of my ass) and he explains that the whole point of that group chat is to remain anonymous. there's a handful of members from different dorms and that's all you're supposed to know.
they talk about gossip, homework, assignments etc. the more he talks about it the more it sounds like a secret society. but nonetheless, you join.
and all hell breaks loose 🤭
personally I think that only a few people know who is who in the chat group. like the organizer because they gotta make sure everyone who has the link is an nrc student. and obviously there's a few friends who gave other people the link or joined together. but there's also active polls where people debate who is who.
just so it gives them the extra comfort of anonymity.
IMAGINE SOME ADMITS TO STALKING POOR READER AND IT TURNS INTO A THRILLER AHHHH (everyone knows who rook is. not because of his French, but because of his detailed posts)
--
NO CAUSE I WAS ALSO AN APHMAU FAN HAHAHAH I used to eat her role plays up. but watching them now... they're super cringe and I can barely watch an episode of phoenix drop high 😭
and dont even worry about it 'being all over the place because I am literally like that and it's so fun being able to bounce all over the place hehe
AND YAY ANOTHER AIR SIGN😽
#mel <3#twisted anxiety 🌀#tiyoin 🔎#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#tiyoin’s cuties 。 ඞ 。#twisted wonderland#twst
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PALentines day 💋
Bale!Bruce Wayne x reader drabble <3
A/N: we all know about Valentines day, we've beard about Galentines day, now get ready for Palentines day!! A day to celebrate the most platonic of friendships... most of the time.
(I'm sorry that this is so short, I've been trying to write some shorter stuff lately <3)
~Fi 🐝
Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Friends. That's what you were. The friendliest, most platonic tier of friends. Okay, you were good friends. You did hang out a lot, and it was always fun. Maybe best friends is a better term. You went to each other for advice and whatever was on your mind, always having someone to confide in.
Bruce was the best best friend, which is why he stood in front of your door with a overly dramatic bouquet of flowers and a disgustingly expensive box of chocolates.
Because, if your friend doesn't have a valentine, you step up and make them a little surprise to brighten their day! ... right? This isn't weird. No, he's just being a good friend, that's all.
At least that's what he told himself when his brows furrowed and a subtle feeling of regret started to seep into his bones. He hated how much this felt like he was actually taking you out and not like a thoughtful gesture you'd get from a friend.
And it didn't help his case of being madly in love with you, either. He hated himself for how much he liked this, being able to pretend that you were more than just friends for even a split second. That he was able to do what he's been wanting to do for years; show you just how much you truly mean to him.
Bruce has had a gray, dull and gloomy life. Everything seemed to go wrong for him, throwing him deeper and deeper into emotional ruin. But then you came along and made everything just that little bit more bearable. You were like his little ray of sunshine that broke through the heavy clouds and make him see the beautiful colors of the world again.
And he knows that he can never give you back just how much you've given him, but some flowers and a box of pralines are the steps in the right direction... right? Jesus Christ, what was he doing? He's just your best friend. God, this IS weird.
And for a beat, he'd actually thought about turning straight on his heel and sinking into a pit of shame once he was back in the privacy of his own home. Bruce huffed in frustration at himself. He'd been standing in front of your door like this, like an idiot, for the past 10 minutes and still hadn't found the courage to knock.
The crease between his brows softened. What if... you appreciated his gesture? What if, this was exactly what you needed after a rough week. Just someone thinking of you. And, what if... you felt the same? A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, along with a pinch in his heart.
Bruce wanted nothing more than for it to be true, to know that you've been loving him just as he's been loving you. He was never a fan of hope, but that's all his lovesick heart was filled with now. Overflowing with the desperate hope that he has the chance to make you his and treat you like the treasure you are.
He had the urge to fall to his knees before you and just let everything spill out, how you made his life better in every way, and that he was but a man who couldn't help but fall for his guardian angel.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
🌹
《Tag list》: @allysunny @certifiedredhoodlover @hellonheels-x @gaozorous-rex-blog
#bumblebeesfromvenus#bale!bruce x reader#bale!bruce wayne smut#bale!bruce wayne#bale!batman x reader#bale!bruce wayne x reader#dark knight trilogy#nolanverse#bruce wayne x reader
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Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2
Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit
Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!
Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era
"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter
"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait
"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband
"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE
Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)
"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle
"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss
HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕
Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!
Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen
"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!
LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment
NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE
"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right
"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰
SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:
"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?
FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily
WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA
I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP
"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders
"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends
I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict
I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all
"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too
HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness
"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN
Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:
"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers
"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children
"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep
"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya
"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto
Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:
"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy
"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face
Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts
"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies
[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO
Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care
"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal
Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!
I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:
"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!
"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think
"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law
"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much
"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!
"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point
Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist
"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗
As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family
I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals
Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!
"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife
I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service
I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!
"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship
"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king
[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter
"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say
"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis
Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room
Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act
Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die
"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down
"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?
"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW
A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes
We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor
"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!
Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:
"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat
I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold
"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis
YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘
[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!
Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO
LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖
"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb
Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk
Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:
"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA
"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺
Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee
"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!
Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️🩹
Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG
Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:
[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove
"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler
Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO
"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind
"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty
I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life
NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD
I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious
"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else
"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid
I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:
"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing
"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir
I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes
"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy
Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions
LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog
"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️
[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!
"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor
WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:
Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW
#ayesha talks anime#spy x family#liveblogging#sxf series#spy x family series#ayesha liveblogs spy x family#long post#guns tw#moqueueton#been a while since i've been able to watch 2 seasons of a show in succession!! very fun to continue
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𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.
finnick odair x fem!reader
summary: he said he'd be better, that he'd stop going to her for help and turn to his wife, but you stopped believing his lies a long time ago.
cw: emotional cheating
"you don't understand"
"tell me! make me understand!" your throat hurt, your eyes burn as you scream at him. completely done with grief passing and acceptance ready to take its position
you just can't anymore.
not with him. not with anyone.
"just give me time"
"10 years! I gave you 10 fucking years how many more do you want!"
"why can't you work with me?" he yelled, slamming his fist into the island table that separates you.
.
being a wife to a victor isn't always easy.
it might seem like a comfortable life.
but it's anything but that.
you were childhood friends, lifelong buddies. when he got reaped it broke you but you still were there for him. always hearing him out, never pushing him when it wasn't needed, you were always there for him.
when she got reaped the next year and won, finnick went to you with relief and dread all over
"she could've died."
"that would've been on me"
"all of those tributes are on me"
he wept and wept and you carried him, hugging him so tightly he'd turn blue.
he never really talked about his games. even when you started dating at 16 he'd always keep it short.
you knew it was bad that he hid his feelings but when you tried to help it ended up in a fight and him running off
you'd find him drunk the next day.
but soon he'd come back sober, better, healed.
you had no idea what 360 happened to him, but you were grateful
when you asked him about it he shrugged and mumbled he was talking to someone
finally, he's getting help.
once you found out it wasn't a shrink but a girl, Annie to be exact. you weren't mad, more curious
you asked him why you found out that it was her through town gossip and not his lips, but a shrug was all you got.
"I don't see the big deal here"
your lover was gone. now just some housemate instead of our husband.
you cried in the shower and put a smile on through the rest of your days.
soon it wasn't the games he kept from you and told her, it was everything
even asking what he ate for breakfast was a simple "nothing"
you couldn't stop your sobs that into the pillow, your shaking frame and chokes of breaths that got caught in your throat must've irked him enough to wrap his arms around you
you realized thats the most contact you've had with him in months. he mumbled sorry and promised to be better.
but he wasnt.
years passed and he was not not telling you things, it's just he'd lie about them
you saw him eat toast this morning, so simple, so why'd he say eggs?
you saw him pick up roses, came home empty-handed, he said they were for his mother's grave. but her grave was flowerless the next day.
theses little things made the words affair scream in your head, and now you're here, and you've snapped.
.
"finnick. i've been trying to work with you, give you time, help you, for fucking years" you said, voice shaking but calm as tears roll down your cheek
"i've been dying" you added
"you haven't touched me in years, I feel like a failure and all you want is fucking her so go!" you screamed at the end, staring at him straight in his eyes as he looked at you with guilt layered with surprise
"I don't know what you want from me" he shakes his head and your hand slams down on the counter to make sure you aren't hallucinating this bullshit
"the bare fucking minimum! you're supposed to go to me when you feel like you can't go anywhere! you're supposed to go to me when you need someone or just want to be around anyone! you can't even do that so why did you marry me?" you're left in silence as he stares at the floor
"I can't talk to you about this stuff, you wouldn't get it. you didn't go through what I wen-"
"I wish I did. I wish I was reaped so you didn't become this sad mess of a person. finnick, I'm sick of hearing this because you say she's helping you but you're still the same 14-year-old left in the arena." you cry out, he looks up at you with tears swirling in his eyes, jaw clenched as he processes your words
"I'm better, I'm getting better"
"no. no you're not. you'd be better with a real therapist, not someone just as broken as you."
he grips the table and his teeth sink down into his lips, you see the blood pool but you also see the realization in his eyes
"you need help finnick, and I hope you find it." and with that, you grab your coat and head for the door
"s-so what? you're gonna leave me like this? at my worst?" he chokes on his tears, pleading eyes staring at your frame
"you've always been at your worst." you shrug with the last of your tears falling to the floor and walk out into the cloudy air that welcomes you to a new life.
one that you'll be free.
an: hey guys :) I know some of you might disagree with y/n here but it's okay lmao. I really wanted to write angst for nonvictor!y/n x finnick because I feel for her that he went through all of that and she's just there. and having him go to another woman who doesn't help him but just drives him away from real help and his wife, ooo just angsty angsty angstyyyy! also, i really like the name for this one because it goes both ways. y/n will never be better than annie in his eyes and he is never gonna be 100% okay again. anyway, I love you guys so much!
#finnick odair#finnick#catching fire#finnick odair x reader#finnick odair imagine#hunger games finnick#finnick x annie#finnick odair angst#finnick odair rp#finnick odair fanfic#thg finnick#finnick x you#finnick imagine#finnick odair headcanons#finnick odair imagines#finnick odair x you#thg headcanons#thg fanfiction#thg rp#thg fandom#thg fic
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Am I the asshole for outing my friend's relationship to their family?
I (25f) have a friend (30m). We aren't as close as we used to be, but we still hang out. I want to make it clear as this always comes up, I have NEVER wanted to date him. When I was 16 he had a crush on me, but NEVER asked me out. I always saw him as a brother, he saw me as a sister eventually.
His family loves me, and a few of them still believe me and him will end up together. He has went on to date other people and so have I; currently i am dating a guy (28m) who i think I'll marry. But that isn't here nor there. Me and my friend were hanging out (my bf was on his way but got stuck in traffic, tho it isnt uncommon for me and my friend to hang out without my bf as we have been friends for 10 years and done it prior to my relationship). While we were hanging out my friend dropped the bomb on me.
He has secretly been seeing someone and hadn't told anyone as he wanted to see how it went. I was excited for him! He has told his immediate family who it is, and told his extended family he is seeing someone but not who yet. Again, excited! Until he told me who it was.
It is a girl I babysat. She just turned 18 this week, but apparently they've been dating for 2 months. Her parents were aware (which in hindsight make sense why there were asking me about my friend a lot and why they mentioned her "growing up" and "getting a guy" in the same sentence- also, his and her family have known each other for a few years, meanwhile I've known her family my whole life) and they approved it (I verified later with them, and they gave the ok before she was 18). I felt sick.
I'm not sure what exact order happened next as it was a blur. I believe the order went me saying I thought I would be sick, my friend getting mad and yelling, and then me having a panic attack. However the panic attack could have come before the yelling. I had a panic attack because I have had adults take advantage of me when I was younger, and he knows this, and he knows I do NOT approve of those things at all.
My bf came home and obv was confused and protective of me. My friend got kicked out and I told my bf what happened after I calmed. He was also disgusted. I feel sick remembering when my friend had a crush on me, but he had never made any advances. My friend has always dated his age or women older then him.
This was last week. This past thurs (so four days later) I happened to run into his aunt and cousin at the store. They asked how I felt. I tried at first to just be all "my opinion doesn't matter. Good for him" just to get them out of my hair. They kept asking me. The cousin asked if I knew who it was. I must make it clear that I knew they had no clue who it was. They kept pestering me about it and I told them to drop it, but tjeh didn't. Finally the cousin asked if I had feelings for my friend. I blew up as they had been following me around the store. I told them "I dont give a fuck. I think he's a creep for dating someone still in high school."
Aunt was outraged. At him. Not me. Aunt had zero clue. Cousin was shocked. When I got home his other cousin from his uncle (not the same immediate fam) texted me asking if my friend was dating someone underage was true or not. I said she just turned 18 and left it at that.
I ignored it and was going to have a nice dinner with my bf when my phone blew up with calls and texts from my friend. I got called a bitch, a liar, etc. He was irate that I stole this and told his family. He claimed that I should have known better because I was outed as bi and how thst hurt me and he comforted me, I was hurting him the same. I told him it wasn't the same. He called me a ton of other names. My bf blocked him on my phone. I then got a text from the girl and she said "Aunt (she called me aunt because I babysat so often) I am super sad you did this. We won't be able to enjoy our relationship. You have hurt me personally".
That is where I wonder if I am the ahole. Apparently the extended family is pissed. I am pissed. But I have a pit in my stomach wondering if I did the right thing or not, because this girl MY NIECE (not by blood) is distraught. So AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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apologies if you've already been asked this but do you have any favorite trigun fics? i absolutely adore your art btw!
thank you!!! and i've answered this on insta, but i don't think i've ever shared on tumblr... i'm not good at reading fics, esp long ones, because my attention span is pretty bad, but from the ones i have bookmarked, i'll share some that i like in no particular order
hills like white elephants (meet me halfway) - adlvnam
pairing: vashwood word count: 1.1k, sfw, vague post v.10 spoilers
‘I read a story once,’ Vash says, unsure. ‘I’m kind of thinking about it right now.’
i like a lot of adlvnam's fics, i find them very unique and creative in their execution, and their writing is wonderful! this was the first fic i've read from them and it's stuck with me ever since. others that i like from them are in manus tuas (no spoilers) and vox dei (warning for post vol.10 spoilers).
stay - Anonymous
pairing: vashwood word count: 2.3k, sfw, no spoilers
“Hold up,” Vash groans. He presses his free hand to Wolfwood’s mouth and shushes him. He’s probably going for a stern look, though between his poor attempts to stop grinning like the biggest idiot this side of the planet and the way he’s patting him, it’s hard to take him seriously. “Stop laughin’. Where’s the keys?”
“What keys?” Wolfwood tries to ask, muffled by Vash’s hand, and his tongue is a little thick and slow in his mouth so… something comes out, but it’s probably not very wordy. Word-like. Not a sentence, probably.
(or, wolfwood and vash get drunk, bicker, and then share a bed together.)
i enjoyed the mundanity and silliness of this fic and i think about it from time to time... i think fics where one of them or both drink together are pleasant to read.
Last Summer - varilien
pairing: vashwood word count: 741, sfw, no spoilers
You are what you love.
tags on this one are "sunrises, morning routines, coffee, sentimental" which caught my attention. very sweet and beautiful.
Rain - Kokohamstar
pairing: none, wolfwood centric word count: 768, sfw, major spoilers - post v.10
Ever since he was a little kid listening to Bible stories, he dreamed of the day the world would be washed clean and wondered what the rain would feel like on his face.
as most wolfwood centric fics, it was a gutpunch and melancholic, but still soooo.. augh.... the last paragraph really does it for me.
water bucket blues - fathomfive
pairing: vashwood word count: 3.7k, sfw, major spoilers, post trimax
Vash the Stampede goes on the record about a friend he once had. Also about card games, cats, family, and some other things.
"Start with a piece of the whole, Meryl said. It doesn’t have to be the first piece. Start with a specific. That’s what they mean when they throw around the words human interest.
I know the pieces. Believing they make a whole is another thing. But she’s a broadcast professional and I trust her advice. Maybe if I can figure out how to tell one piece—like the story of Wolfwood as I knew him—I can learn how to tell the others."
i love vash pov fics and i love it when it's first person and this one in particular hits because it's his pov and he speaks, honestly, openly, telling a tale that he can't really flub because it's about the people he loved. i love how grounded this fic is in the present of max, i love how vash grows within the 3.7k words, i love how he moves forward with the world he's living in. this fic makes me teary if i think too much about it... it's really wonderful.
it’s a summer day, and I want to be wanted more than anything else in the world - goldenglitz
pairing: vashwood word count: 3.9k, nsfw, no spoilers
Vash has the lung capacity of a man who’s cried for 150 years.
It isn't like Wolfwood takes more than he gives — but like with most things, he barely keeps up with Vash. He works his body to the limit, even as his lungs burn and his legs and arms give out under him. They fuck like they’re on borrowed time.
All of this makes it so easy — so much easier than just talking. Wolfwood would sometimes rather pull new and interesting noises from Vash with just his mouth than do anything else with it. Their own dialect: moans, groans, and four words. “Yes” — “Please” — “Vash” — “Wolfwood.”
i love all of their vashwood fics, they only have 3 but they're all lovely and has a sort of characterization to both vash and wolfwood i don't see often. definitely one of my faves, especially when it comes to explicit vw fics.
i think these are all the ones i'll share for now!!
#asks#thanks for sending this!#one day ill get around to the chapters long fics that has really enticing summaries#most of the fics i like tends to be more trimax based i realized... It's not that surprising but i always go like yay yippee whenever i fin#a more max-canon fic - not something i intentionally hunt down for but i have my bias dmgkgs
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Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?
Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.
It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.
Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo.
And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.
OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good.
Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.
I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.
ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.
LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!
And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.
Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer:
It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON.
It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.
This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.
Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.
Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.
Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.
We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN.
What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.
Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.
Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.
But, totally off-topic kinda...
... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.
You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.
Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways.
And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back.
Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.
#oh shit here we go again#taennie#stan twt#cannes#taehyung#kim taehyung#jennie#meanwhile the jeon parks continue unabated but that's another thing#tae in paris#random troye sivan#cannes 2023#yoongi the cat not the man#why the hell am i even here
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Bejeweled - Jamie Tartt
Authors Note: I have been trying to find any sort of energy to post and get out of bed. Got so close to giving up on life itself and I'm barely back, please bare with me as I try to find my way out of my depression hole I have dug for myself everyone. I know it's been a minute but life has been kicking my ass. Be patient with me - Ultralight
Word Count: 4454
Warnings: i dont think any
Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT. (Next Event is Sour by Olivia Rodrigo. Requests closed. Event following yet to be decided)
SOUR EVENT
MAIN MASTERLIST
Enjoy!
Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind
Didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind
In the shoes I gave you as a present
Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five
And by the way, I'm going out tonight
Diamonds can dull if not taken care of properly, they can accumulate dust and grime, the shine from the gem being lost amongst the age of the years. You were raised by a grandmother that taught you the most important thing a little girl could know, never ever EVER let a man dull your shine.
She would lecture you on this as she showed you her jewelry collection, showing you all seven of her engagement rings through the years. The first had been a diamond pear cut with a silver band, given to her by the young salesman that had promised her the world from his office on wall street.
She packed her bags and took the ring the day he slept with his receptionist.
You would wear the diamond ring 10 years later when you met Jamie Tartt, and oddly enough you would be wearing it the day you found out he was cheating.
-
Maybe it was your fault. Maybe Jamie had strayed from your bed because of you.
Not because you were bored in bed or because you didn’t give him enough attention, no. Maybe you gave him TOO much attention, you let him forget who you were. You were a fucking diamond.
Diamond of the season as Bridgerton would say.
You always kept your lovers on a leash, and when they strayed you proved to them just what they would be missing, but you had trusted Jamie as stupid as that was. You had been waiting for an engagement ring, getting your nails done religiously just in case you needed to take a picture.
You stared at your nails now, as you scrolled through the twitter feed, seeing him leave her flat with lipstick on his cheek and his shirt still unbuttoned.
Your grandmother would be so disappointed in you. You were better than this.
And you would be.
But you had to play your cards right. If Jamie Tartt thinks he can get away with screwing over a gem like yourself then you would just have to show him what a fool he was, and that began with a smile.
You smiled at him when he came home, all dolled up as he lit up at the sight of you, making it seem like you hadn’t been waiting at the stairs for the sound of his keys and just naturally caught him on your way out.
“Y/n? Love? Where are you headin’?” He asks, moving closer to you for a kiss. You kissed him back easily, this would only work if he didn’t know that you knew.
“Just to the club with some friends.” You smile, giving him a twirl in your short dress.
“What friends?” He mumbles casually, far too casually as his eyes roamed over you slowly. You knew his game and you knew that his casual act was far from the truth, inside he was panicking about you going out in this.
“Oh, just Brent and Jordan.” You shrug, leaning in to kiss his cheek before disappearing from sight.
-
“You’re new here.” The stranger smiles cheekily at you as he walks up, admiring you without a second of hesitation, not even bothering to hide his eyes drifting to your chest. “I would recognize a beauty like ya’.”
“Oh I am sure you say that to all the girls.” You smile, giving him an airy look you knew would hook him quickly. It works, he gives you a lopsided grin that tells you he is ready to play your game.
“Who’re your bodyguards over there?” He nods his head to the direction of your friends Brent and Jordon, both of which you had been flirting with all night.
“Oh, just some friends.”
“They don’t look like friends.”
“What’s it to you?” And there it is, the jealous look in his eyes that tells you the sex is going to be good. Hook…..Line……
“What are ya’ drinkin, lovey?”
“Whatever you buy me.” You giggle, moving your hand to touch his elbow expertly, keeping your touch light and your smile easy.
He blushes a bit at it, moving to the stool across from you and holding his hand out. “Your name?”
“Y/n. Yours.”
“I’m Jamie fucking Tartt.” His voice is smug, and his eyes are gleaming. This poor fool had no idea what he just got himself into.
“And what can you do for me, Jamie?”
“I thought the sayin’ was what can I do for you?”
“Why would I ask that when I already know I can give everything.” And sinker.
-
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
I can still say, "I don't remember"
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real, I polish up real nice
She let you try on the second engagement ring when your fingers were still too tiny to actually keep it on, laughing when you’re young eyes widened as it sparkled in front of you, amazed by the piece even if you were too young to truly understand what it meant.
She told you the story of the second man that proposed to her, the one that owned his own business in London which is the reason she moved there in the first place, she told you how he whisked her away and how she ended up moving in with him after a month of knowing him. The way she described his apartment was nothing but luxury and the emerald necklace she showed you that went with the ring screamed money.
You would learn the term blood money later in life.
But then she told you about his actual wife, the one he let live in the mansion nestled in the countryside that he never spoke of while he hid mistresses away in apartments along the city promising to marry them while he bestowed jewels to them.
She wore the ring and the necklace the day she left him, having his valet back all her suitcases into a car and driving her to the far side of the city where her one and only friend in London lived.
You wore the set on your third date with Jamie, and then you wore it again the day he embarrassed you.
-
The necklace and ring paired nicely with the gala gown that Rebecca and Keeley helped you pick out, both girls fawning over you the second they saw you show up to the event.
“You look right fucking fit!” Keeley gushes, eyeing you up and down as Rebecca smiles. “A gorgeous color, and that necklace is absolutely stunning.”
“You should see the ring.” You smile, holding up your hand and letting them gawk. “Famly heirlooms darlings.”
“I don’t know if I want you or I want to be with you.” Keeley whispers, “you made my lower parts like throb-”
“Keeley!” Rebecca gasps, a laugh tearing from all three of you before a hand nestles itself on your hip.
“Let’s head to our seats, ye love?” Jamie asks, pulling you away before you could actually answer. You were a bit irritated with him, ever since finding out he cheated a week ago you found yourself sick to look at him.
And he hadn’t complimented you once this evening. Fucking fool.
But you kept your mouth shut, this was the long game here. You smiled at him, and let him know how handsome he was. It would all be worth it.
You kept reminding yourself of this during the auction, watching dozens of women bid on Danny Rojas as Keeley motioned for you to look at your phone. You ignore her at first, until she gets Roy to do it as well and you finally give in.
K; See that goddess in the corner? Blue dress with the massive tits?
Y; Could have just said blue dress
K; She is Jamie’s date
Y; But I’m Jamie’s date
K; So is she.
Game. Fucking. On.
You risk one more look to the girl as Jamie is called up, allowing him to kiss your cheek quickly before waltzing himself up and standing proudly as the bidding starts.
You let her bid back and forth with the girl in the yellow dress towards the front, wondering if yellow dress was another date of his as he gives you an odd look from the stage, drinking your champagne easily. When he gets back you catch a whiff of his cologne, the one you bought him for christmas, while he leans in.
“Why didn’t ye bid on me, love?”
“Figured I would give another lucky lady some time with you.” You smile, leaning to rub his shoulder. He nods happily, enjoying your answer while your mind flashes back to the photos of him coming out of her apartment.
He couldn’t even bother wiping off her lipstick from his lips and cheek.
So when Sam goes up you raise your hand, meeting Jamie’s eyes with that same airy smile you gave him when you met, calling out “2,000 pounds”
And the look on Jamie’s face makes the moment so fucking worth it.
-
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ-” Jamie blurts when he walks up to your door, eyes widening as a red tint covers his neck and cheeks. “Fuck- sorry- lords name in vain and all that but I think I might just die a happy bloke right here.”
“It’s not too much?” You ask, smoothing out the sides as you try to relax your racing heart. This was the first time you were nervous for a date, this was the first time you actually wanted the date to go somewhere because Jamie Tartt was one hell of a man.
He was sweet and caring, he held doors open for you and talked to you about football with so much passion your heart burned……and he was a god in bed.
“Never too much, you’re like a fuckin’ Aphrodite brought to life.” He mumbles, eyes never leaving yours as he holds out his arm for you to grab onto. You admire his look then, placing your hand in the crook of his elbow as your gaze travels the tux he wore.
For a brief moment you find yourself excited at the fact that his tie matched your dress perfectly without the two of you planning it in advance. Like an omen that you were meant to be, and you can’t help but thinking that your grandmother would laugh at that statement.
She wasn’t here, and you were too busy smiling as Jamie led you to the restaurant like you were a princess.
-
Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl (too good of a girl)
Did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve
I think it's time to teach some lessons
I made you my world (huh), have you heard? (Huh)
I can reclaim the land
And I miss you (I miss you)
But I miss sparkling (ah, hey)
The oval cut Garnet ring with the silver band came next, from the artist she met in that small apartment building. He drew her millions of times, filling his sketchbook with her dancing and posing until he was able to draw her out of memory.
He pawned his fathers pocket watch for the ring, proposing to her in the middle of lovemaking as he demanded the stars pay her what they owe her. But then he disappeared, stopped coming home and she couldn’t find him.
Just when she had begun wondering if he was cheating the police had knocked on the door asking if she had seen him. Turned out the pocket watch he pawned wasn’t his but his bosses, as well as the 4,000 he had stolen from the safe the same night he stole the watch.
She told the police she was house sitting for him, and the second they were out of sight she packed and bolted with the ring.
You wore it the night you first said I love you, and again when told him your biggest lie.
-
“Oh you should have seen it, Y/n. Fuckin’ Nate had no words. We all gave him one hell of a show, glarin and just being downright nasty on the field.” Jamie brags, pacing back and forth in your kitchen as you wiped down the counters for something to do while he rambled on.
Normally you would be hanging on to his every word, asking about it and actually giving a shit. But today? All you could think about was her.
Was the women in the blue dress the women from the apartment? Or were they different? How many women were there? How long has he been doing this? A month, a week or years? Should you get tested for anything?
“-oy, you okay?” Jamie asks, concern laced across his face as he comes up to rub you back carefully, bending down to look in your eyes.
“I’m fine,” You lie, nodding quickly. “Just a little sick.”
“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” You let him, enjoying the caring side of him as he tucks you in and puts a glass of water beside your bed. He sits beside you for a moment, rubbing your cheek carefully as he watches you. “I’ll be in the living room. You’ll call me if ya need me, ya?”
“Yeah.” You nod, closing your eyes gently as he leans down to kiss your forehead, hating the way your heartbeat through your chest.
“I love you.” He whispers.
“I love you too.” You whisper back, feeling sick at how empty the words were, and how easy the lie slipped from your lips.
-
You hadn’t planned on saying it to him that night, the dizziness of it all just got the best of you.
Jamie had snuck you into the richmond field in the middle of the night, both of you laughing and slipping in the wet grass as you tried to play a crappy game of soccer.
Sure your outfit was ruined but you had been smiling so much your cheeks hurt, ribs aching from laughing too much and your heart 2 seconds from exploding every time he touched you.
By the time you both tire out, him swinging his arm around your shoulders and snatching the ball up easily while trying to catch his breath, he leads you out to the parking lot. It’s there you say it, in the dimness of the broken light, your cheeks heated from nervousness as well as the workout.
“I think I love you.” You blurt, watching him stop quickly, whipping to look at you with wide eyes. “No. I do. I know I love you.”
A moment of silence follows and you begin to think you’ve blown it, getting ready to rush off out of pure embarrassment, when a smile cracks out on his face and he rushes forwards to kiss you passionately.
“I love you too.” He murmurs as he cradles your jaw, lips grazing your own.
-
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
I can still say, "I don't remember"
The factory worker with the easy smile came next, and after 4 months of dating he popped out a black diamond ring with a black band on it, the darkest in the collection which should have shown what was too come.
She never liked to talk about that one often, and she never let you touch it, as if the ring itself could ruin your life in an instant.
And you truly believed it could.
All you knew from that time in her life was that she left bloodied and battered, leaving during the day while he was at work, where she would head to a co workers flat waiting for him when he got home and trying not to cry as he cleaned the cuts. A week later she would take the pregnancy test, that was all you needed to know.
The ring sat in the red velvet box your grandmother had put it in when she took it off, and it would stay in that box where you would not see it. Except for the two times it nearly escaped.
-
“Hey Y/n?” Jamie calls from the room down the hall, drawing your attention from the project you had been working on as you wait for him to keep going, when he doesn’t you sigh out and stand to go find where he was summoning you.
“Yes?”
“Have you seen my lucky knee pad?”
“Shouldn’t they be in your bag?” You ask, moving to check the said bag where he had laid it in your shared bed. The zipper moved easily as you began searching throughout it.
“Do you think I would be searching the room if it was in there?” He snaps, and as he swings to glare at you his hand hits the jewelry box on your dresser, sending it tumbling down and the cap of the cursed velvet box flying, the ring sliding across the floor right in front of your foot.
You stare at it like it’s a bomb, breathing heavy as it gleams up at you. Jamie watches for a moment before he sighs out. “Just pick it up will ya? Won’t bloody hurt you.”
You roll your eyes, ignoring the comment and turning back to the bag where you pull out the lucky knee pad, making him groan. “I swear it wasn’t there when I checked.”
“Just pick up the mess you made.” You grunt out, putting the knee pad on top of the bag and rushing out of the room to go shower.
-
The day you move in with Jamie is spent with cheap dancing music that makes you both laugh and dozens of boxes to unpack. Instead of tag teaming your shared boxes in your new shared apartment you both decide to do one box at a time, working as a team.
Because why be efficient when you are in love?
By the time he gets to the box holding your jewelry he spots the velvet box, reaching in and pulling it out before you notice. By the time you turn to see he already has the lid fully off and the ring pinched between his thumb and forefinger.
“I don’t think I have ever seen a black diamond.” He murmurs, holding it up to the light as you chuck a pillow at his face. It hits him square on and he gives you an incredulous look as you begin pointing at the ring.
“Put that thing back in the box, hide it deep in the jewelry box and go wash your hands!” You order, making him blink in shock before he does as told, coming back with wet hands and a small smile.
“I know it sounds crazy but-”
“I have superstitions too.” He shrugs, moving closer to kiss you softly. “That ring was fucking ugly anyways.”
-
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real, I polish up real nice
The pink diamond came from a mistake she wasn’t willing to admit.
Moments of panic and loneliness have a way of making humans confuse many things for love, she had shown up bruised and broken and she thought her coworker had mended her.
He was kind, and he was gentle. They got along well and he was very supportive of her keeping the child in the pregnancy. He was safe…..but they weren’t in love.
She tells you of the conversation she had with him, 3 months pregnant and wearing an engagement ring. They talked about how they went too fast, she told him she wanted to be a mother first and foremost.
They said goodbye, he told her she could keep the ring.
He would later be the baby's godfather, and he visited every christmas.
There were two christmases that actually mattered.
-
Jamie missed Christmas dinner with your family that year, not that you minded since all you had been silently hoping for was a break. Just a little longer…. You reminded yourself. The long game.
But as you marched up the path to your parents home you found yourself breathing out a sigh of relief, home. Home was right here and you would be safe to show your pain.
Your great uncle is the first to notice said pain, nodding you over to talk to you.
“You’re grandmother raised you right,” He tells you. “And if she were here she would not let you stand to be in pain.”
“I know.” You mumble back, nodding your head quickly. “I’m working on it.”
-
The year you brought Jamie home for Christmas was a year full of chaos, one where you had been rushing around in a panic, nervous and anxious about your family not liking him. And it had all gone wrong so far.
The ham was burnt and the tree managed to catch on fire. Both your bags had been lost in transit so you both were forced into the ugliest sweaters you had seen and you thought Jamie would bolt.
But he merely grabs your hands softly to stop your pacing, kissing your knuckles and peering up at you. “We’ll be alright, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You nod, smiling back at him as your great uncle walks in, giving you a nod of approval when Jamie can’t see. You ease up then, you had nothing to worry about, Jamie would win them over no problem.
-
Sapphire tears on my face
Sadness became my whole sky
But some guy said my aura's moonstone
Just 'cause he was high
The 6th ring had been a simple silver band given to her by the neighbor that claimed she was aphrodite reborn. They had talked 3 times before he gave her the ring and though it never actually counted as a proposal she claimed it did since he had said “I’ll get you the diamond when I prove to you we’re meant to be.”
He lost interest after 3 weeks, she didn’t mind.
You always used to wear the band when you wanted a good laugh, but as of recently you couldn’t find any humor in it as you left it in the box. You were beginning to lose energy for all happiness in general.
-
And we're dancin' all night
And you can try to change my mind
But you might have to wait in line
What's a girl gonna do?
A diamond's gotta shine
The seventh and final engagement ring had been given to her by a nervous accountant who acted like she had torn the stars from the sky. He was a shy and nervous man, blushed everytime she looked at him, but there had been a spark like no other. This would be the first ring she would accept with her future planned out, no way of living without him. This had been her lovematch.
It had been sapphire, her birthstone. She had worn it for three months.
You wore it the day you met his mistress.
-
The apartment was quite nice, and as you took a look around you couldn’t help the anxiety that built through you as she watched you from the couch.
“He told me he was leaving you.”
“Of course he did.”
“He said neither of you were happy.”
“Not anymore.” You smile, everything in you easing. “But it’s almost over.”
-
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer (shimmer)
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
The last and final ring in the collection hadn’t been an engagement ring, rather a wedding ring. Your grandmother had worn it since the day she got it to the day she died, passing it down to you. A simple pearl ring that stopped your breath short every time.
She wore it the day she gave birth to your mother, claiming it gave her strength. She wore it the day of your grandfather's funeral and your mothers as well.
You wore it the day of her funeral and had been saving it ever since. This would be the ring you wore the day you decided to leave him.
You waited up, your biggest mistake of it all since you already knew he wouldn’t be home for awhile.
He would claim it was the game, you would know the truth, he would not feel bad about lying to your face.
You twisted your grandmother's ring on your finger. It was time.
-
I can still say, "I don't remember"
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real (nice), I polish up real nice
He proposed with a ruby ring, after years of waiting and it finally happened. You took the ring, kissed him softly and a week later you left a letter on the table explaining it all as you left. You took your clothes and jewelry with you, leaving the pain behind with him.
You were a fucking jewel, this he would not forget
- .
And we're dancin' all night
And you can try to change my mind
But you might have to wait in line
What's a girl gonna do? What's a girl gonna do?
I polish up nice
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
You wore your grandmother's wedding pearl wedding ring on your left hand the day you gave birth, and on your right held the engagement ring Jamie had given you.
When your daughter was old enough you would show her your collection, telling her your grandmother's history all the way up to the ruby ring, where you would tell your own story, all the while wearing the ring you bought yourself, with the dahlia diamond.
You were a jewel, and just as your grandmother taught you…..never ever EVER let a man dull your shine.
#ted lasso#ted lasso show#ted lasso fic#ted lasso finale#ted lasso season 3#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso s3#ted lasso apple tv#afc richmond#coach beard#jamie tartt#jamie tartt imagne#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tart fanfic#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt smut#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt angst#jamie tartt fluff#jamie tartt love
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