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#i'm actually so embarrassed about this. someone tell me i did good. Now
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Wide Awake
Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Wolff!Reader
Warnings: Cursing, Self-Doubt, age-gap (reader is 22), slight smut (just fingering) , oh and slight orgasm denial.
(SOFIA IS A RANDOM GIRL I MADE UP!)
A/N: This was supposed to just be a one off thing but I kept writing and writing and I'm 99% sure that no one wants to read a 25k worded chapter only for it to BARELY get to the whole point/plot of the fic. so there's going to be another chapter (3 at max)
(Also I promise Too Good To Say Goodbye 7 is coming but I was hyper fixated on trying to finish this which isn't happening ) 🫶🏽😊
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
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My dad’s always warned me about getting involved with the drivers. He told me that they’re all too young, naive and that all they’ll be good for is breaking my heart. For the longest time, I believed him. I’ve seen the way some of these young drivers were with girls.
Max cheating on Sofia with Kelly, Lando talking to 3 girls at once and George, well George hasn’t done anything. Point is, I’ve seen how they are and I don’t want to get with one of the young drivers only to have my heart ripped out. AGAIN.
I secretly dated one of the hottest drivers, Charles Leclerc for about 2 months. All was going well we were happy, we had secret dates and maybe I thought he was the one.
That was until one day In Monaco when I showed up to the paddock for Free Practice 1 & 2 I saw him hand-in-hand with Alexandra Saint Mleux. When I saw them together and I realized everything she had that I didn’t. She was at taller than me, skinnier, gorgeous, had flawless skin and had a modeling career. In other words, she was a goddess.
Seeing them together broke my heart and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and sob, but I couldn’t. My dad warned me about the young drivers but I still went behind his back and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. I deserved this.
I had made a beeline for the Mercedes garage just to get out of the public eye but I was so focused on getting as far away from Charles and Alexandra as possible that I hadn’t noticed I was running straight into someone.
I hit this person's body with such force I almost went flying back and I reached my hands out in front of me to try and grab anything for stability and at the same time I felt two hands on either sides of my waist trying to balance me.
I was feeling so many different emotions right now I couldn't even think straight, clearly. I was so angry at Charles for cheating on me even if weren’t technically even dating, sadness because I actually thought Charles was actually capable of loving me, and full fledged embarrassment because I just ran full on into someone thinking about how Charles just ruined my life. And my makeup.
I looked up to face the person I just ran into and tried to profusely apologize for my actions, but when I looked up tho I was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever but in the half a second it took me to look up I also realized who it was that I ran into.
The 7x WDC Lewis Hamilton.
Even more embarrassment coated my face as I realized that not only did I just bump into someone while trying so hard not to have a mental breakdown but I ran into the Lewis Hamilton, my dad's best and most loved driver. “Oh my gosh Lewis, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I really didn’t mean to run into you. Please don’t tell my dad” Honestly, it sounded pathetic. ‘Don’t tell my dad’? what are you, 12?
I stared at him in silence for about all of 2 seconds which felt like an eternity until I saw his lips curled up into a smile and heard a small chuckle come from him. “I won’t tell your dad, cross my heart” Lewis said while making an ‘X’ motion over his chest “Who are you running from? I feel like maybe I'm obligated to know since you ran right into me trying to avoid them?”
My face fell in shock. How did he know I was trying to avoid someone? I mean it wasn't rocket science, if I saw a random girl running to an isolated area with tears streaming down her face, I too am going to assume she's avoiding someone. “I- Uh, Well. See”
“It’s okay, Y/N/N, I’m not going to tell anyone. You also don’t have to tell me if you don't want to but I’m willing to help you avoid them if you do.” Lewis said as he placed a hand on my cheek.
I’ve always found comfort in Lewis’ touch. Actually, I’ve always felt comfort whenever I was in the same room as Lewis. Something about his Aura screamed ‘You’re safe with me’
As much as I wanted to, I knew there was no point in lying because one thing about Lewis is that could read people like a book. Including me. With a long, loud and dramatic dragged out sigh I reluctantly told him the truth.
“I was seeing Charles behind my father’s back for about 2 months, everything was going well and I actually kinda thought he was my person but I just now saw him hand-in-hand and all cuddly with Alexandra.” Tears sprung in my eyes and threatened to fall as I recounted what I saw a few minutes prior to Lewis.
He had a sympathetic look in his face and I could tell he genuinely felt bad for me. The hand Lewis once briefly had on my face had moved down to grab my hand before he whispered, "How about this: Tomorrow we wear almost matching outfits and we come back here also hand-in-hand. We'd be together all day and we'll be cuddly too. You know, just to make Charles jealous and regret cheating on you."
Lewis was always putting people's well-being ahead of his and it made a shy smile creep onto my face. As much as I want to, maybe I shouldn't read too much into this though, he's probably just being nice to me to stay in my father's good graces.
"Lewis," I whispered as I placed my hand on his cheek "You don't have to be nice to me because I'm your boss's daughter"
he looked a bit hurt by my accusations. "Is that why you think I'm doing this?" his hand squeezed mine a little tighter.
"Why else would you, Lewis?" his hands came up to cup my face forcing me to look at him.
"Because Y/N/N, I-" he paused, almost like he was trying to find the right words to use. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've seen you sneaking around with Charles and it took so much in me not to go over there and tear you away from him, to show him that you're mine. I know I'm older than you but I'm wiser and I'll treat you better than he can." My jaw dropped, there's no way that Lewis Hamilton, a 7x WDC is head over heels in love with me, right?
"Lew, I-" a voice interrupted me, turning my body into stone and my blood into ice.
"Y/N!" I knew that voice anywhere and if he saw the moment that me and Lewis just shared, we were both dead.
"Dad! Hi!" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I was so flushed from Lewis' confession.
"My baby," His hands cupped my face inspecting the red all over "Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm just hot. You know how the sun is in Monaco." I said with a shrug, trying to change the subject
"Oh you have to go in the AC! Lewis," my dad turned to face Lewis who was already facing in our direction
"Yes, Toto?" he said as he cocked his brow.
"I need you to take my darling girl inside. She has a condition where she can't sweat which causes her to overheat and pass out. I am too busy with this race and getting everything perfect to be worrying about my daughter having a heat stroke."
"Oh, jeez, thanks dad. Just send Lewis to do everything for you" I said in a playful tone
"Of course Toto, I'll take her in right now." Lewis said as he walked over to me and linked his arms with mine.
Lewis started guiding me through the garage and to his driver's room where he opened the door and gestured me in. Once inside he closed the door before facing me with unsure eyes.
"What's wrong Lew?" I said as I cautiously walked over to him.
"What were you going to say before Toto cut you off?" his voice so low, I almost didn't hear what he said.
"I was going to say," I stopped right in front of him, our chests were touching. We were so close I could feel his breath against my skin. "I think that you have to prove what you said about treating me better than how Charles did."
Lewis grabbed my face and pulled me into a searing kiss, our tongues fought for dominance but his won. Lewis picked me up and sat on his couch with me on his lap so I was straddling him all without breaking the kiss.
His hands found their rightful place on my hips and applied pressure forcing my hips down as I rocked my hips to apply more force against his hardening cock.
"Mmm, you taste so good. I can only imagine how much better you taste when I'm eating your pussy." Lewis mumbled against my lips as his hands went just a little bit lower to stop at the elastic of my leggings. I guided Lewis' hands under the fabric to release some of the tension building in my core.
He understood what I needed and quickly started to run his middle finger up and down my fold, collecting all my juices before inserting it in my pussy. Lewis slowly moved his finger in and out of my hole while using his thumb to rub circles on my clit. His movements were slow and sensual bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm. I started rocking my hips into his palm to add more friction to my core and to chase my orgasm which I really needed right now. I was just about to go over the edge until a knock at the door quickly halted both of our movements and caused Lewis to yank his hand out of me leaving me without finishing.
"Mate, FP2 starts in 15. They need us by our cars now" The voice of George could be heard from he other side of the door.
“Oh fuck me” I grunted as I pulled myself off of Lewis’ lap
“Trust me, I was planning on it” He said with a smirk on his face as his hand came to rest on my ass before giving it a smack.
Lewis poked his head out of the door to make sure no one would see us leave, after the all clear we quickly rushed out of his room, both of us going in opposite directions as to not get caught.
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The next day I heard a knock at my hotel door at the early hours of 6:00am. With a grunt I pulled myself out of the comfort of my warm and cozy bed and made my way to the door. Whoever was interrupting my beauty sleep was going to get a mouthful, I’ll tell you that.
“Do you know what time it is?!” I whisper yelled as I opened the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to see who I would be yelling at. And boy do I really wish I did look because I was met with the tall, beautiful, muscular frame of Lewis Hamilton.
“Woah honey, I told you we were going to the paddock together. We need matching outfits” Lewis said while looking at me up and down "Do you by any chance have a matching Tommy Hilfiger set?"
"No?" I said, a little nervous
"Perfect, I bought you one that matches mine so put this on" Lewis said as he handed me a bag of 4 different sets.
"Lewis, there's four sets in here. Which am I wearing?" I said I let him in my room and watched as he took a seat on my bed right were I was once peacefully sleeping.
"Wear whichever one you want and I'll match it. I didn't know which of those four you'd like so I bought them all." My heart fluttered a bit at his confession.
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When Lewis and I pulled up to the race and got out of the car, we walked to the entrance hand-in-hand.
Charles and Alexandra were the first people to spot us and I took notice on how Charles dropped Alexandra's hand. When I saw that I squeezed Lewis' hand and leaned into him to tell him
"Lew, it's working. He dropped Alexandra's hand" I said with a smirk on my face.
"Wanna give them a show?" I cocked my brow at what he was suggesting but reluctantly nodded my head.
Without thinking twice, Lewis pulled me into a kiss, his hand finding their place to rest on my ass while mine traveled to the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.
I heard a strings of words which I'm assuming were curse words before I heard faint shuffles of feet echoing away from where me and Lewis were stood. Faint footsteps weren't the only thing we heard because next thing you know we heard clicks of camera shutters.
I pulled away from him with a horrified look on my face.
"Lewis! My dad might see those!" I don't think I was ever more scared in my life than I was in that moment. My dad can't know that I'm sneaking behind his back with Lewis. Well technically this is the second day of this 'sneaking around' but still, he doesn't know."
"Do you want to be with me Y/N/N?" He said dead serious while interlocking our hands
"Yes"
"So you shouldn't care about the pictures and your dad's opinion. Not everyone is going to accept our relationship but that doesn't matter because this relationship is between us. Not them"
"I need FP3 and Qualifying to end ASAP because I so badly want to suck your cock."
“I’m holding you to that” Lewis said as he swatted my ass. Surely the press people got photos of that and when those get out. I’m gonna have a fun conversation with my dad
It took us about 15 minutes to get the Mercedes Hospitality area because of all the fans asking for pictures, Press asking questions and other drivers asking what Lewis thinks he’s doing going out with me.
I almost took offense to that but quickly realized that they didn’t mean it in a rude way but more as a ‘you better be careful because if you break her heart, Toto will never resign you to Mercedes’ type of way.
When we entered, we were met with the angry eyes of my father.
“Lewis.” He said stern, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose “what are you doing with my daughter?!”
“Sir,” Lewis started but my dad cut him off
“Y/N/N, I told you not to go off with the drivers!” His voice raised, not too loud to be classified as yelling but a couple octaves louder than how it was before
“Actually, you said no messing around with the younger drivers. Lewis is older and more wise” I said as I grasped Lewis’ hand tighter.
“What are your intentions with my daughter?”
“Well sir, I intend to give your daughter the best life I can give her, I want to take her everywhere with me, I want to spoil her, I want to have her move in with me, I want to be her husband and I want her to be the mother of my kids.” Lewis squeezed my hand as he said that last sentence.
I never thought about being a mother, I never felt like it was an obligation of mine. I never thought that I wanted kids but hearing Lewis admit to my dad that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids sparked something in me. Lewis made me realize that deep down, I longed to be a mom and now I wasn’t going to be happy if I wasn’t.
“I will kill you if you break her heart.” My dad stated as he stared in Lewis’ eyes as if to try and intimidate him.
—————
It's not the best but I promise the plot is to die for!
taglist:
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti@dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy
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clazcy · 3 months
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🤫🧏‍♀️
i am not greeted by voices on the street, nor by the songs which they broadcast. the most i can hear within them is gnashing & choking. they tell me i don't listen hard enough, but i can hear between the verses. i can hear them.
they rarely speak. when they do, it is not through their own vessels. i wonder what it takes to be so far gone from yourself & your city to be unable to say words with your own mouth. i've tried speaking through myself, but somehow the same silence which serves them incapacitates me. it's as if nobody can speak for themselves. somebody else is always writing the words.
lately though, or maybe it's been a very long time, they've taken my thoughts, too. i can hear them, hear him, inside my head. i cannot make out what he's saying, if it's anything, although i suspect it is. i would like to understand, for i figure it will either put an end to myself or him, but the rebellion inside me will not allow me to make anything out without first compromising myself. either i give up or he'll break me, & i don't want to lose by choice.
i don't know if it would be more honourable to save the last bullet or not.
i have the ever growing urge to throw up the contents of my greymatter onto a page & see what it says. maybe if i can't hear, i can read. i've always been good with patterns. perhaps tonight i will try to expel the voices within me; both myself & his. if nothing remains in my head, the bullet won't hit.
i cannot tell if he is a part of me, or if i am a subset of him.
maybe if someone writes the lyrics down, i can make sense of them. maybe if i write the lyrics down, i can make sense of myself. maybe if i annotate the conversations i can't hear, i can make sense of everyone else. maybe i can find a way out.
without a bullet.
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hellisharchive · 3 months
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・﹒・ hypersexual nights
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Summary: How various Hazbin and Helluva Boss characters react to a hypersexual reader!
Warnings: 18+, sexual scenarios, Vouyer!Vox, does hypersexual not tell you enough lol just read it
Parings: [Seperate] Saint Peter, Lucifer, Valentino, Adam, Vox, Mammon, and Striker x hypersexual!reader
Notes: HOLY SHIT THIS WAS GONNA BE FOR 300 FOLLOWERS NOW ITS 400 FOLLOWERS! As a celebration, have this! I'm an hypersexual aroace myself so hypersexuals rise up! 💪
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﹒Adam﹒
・He would notice how you always were down to fuck, almost every day in fact, how could he not? You've been the only one to truly keep up with him as most other people always had "low" sex drives and wouldn't be in the mood when he was. So you were like a blessing just for him when day after day, you would always be up for sex at any given moment. When you told him you were Hypersexual one day after a good fuck, he just laughed in your face.
・"Hypersexual? You're always horny? Bitch PLEASE I already knew that. You ask for sex like- every day and never shut up about it. That's why I like you so much. You want to be fucked just as much as I want to fuck"
﹒Saint Peter﹒
・He is a pretty innocent soul, he swears occasionally but when it comes to sex? Oh boy. And you? Being hypersexual? You always flirt with him in a suggestive manner, wanting him to just admit that he likes you. He can't help but simultaneously love the attention as the thoughts you always put in his head, but feel so embarrassed and dirty about it. He always seems to short circuit whenever you flirt with him, but he never says no, so you keep doing it. He of course noticed it after the first few times, you being on par with Adam in sexuality, how could he not? But when you admitted that you were hypersexual and he finally understood.
・"Oh? That's why you uh- why you're always flirt with me! Haha...and say those...really uhm...dirty things... Not that I mind of course! I actually uh...kind of like it..."
﹒Lucifer﹒
・He had his suspicions very early on, it was so obvious to notice how you and Angel Dust got along so well with the topic of sex. He also noticed how you always made sex jokes and talked about sex even without the porn star around. And when it came to him? You always seemed to get flustered whenever he flirted with you, always ensuring to make it dirty, and it worked everytime. After you got together, you almost pounced on him, wanting to have sex early on. He didn't mind it, but in fact, wanted it. You then apologized and said you were hypersexual, meaning you couldn't not think about sex constantly. He just laughed and pinned you down on the bed.
・"Oh I know very well, very well. And I will enjoy fulfilling every. Single. Desire. You could ever ask for"
﹒Mammon﹒
・He isn't exactly the smartest tool in the shed, but he knew you were just as greedy as him. Not in the money sense, no, no. But in sex. You haven't yet gotten to that point in your relationship yet, but he could tell you were denying taking the step. Was it because he was a Sin? He didn't know. All he knew is that if you didn't fuck him already, he was going to fuck you first. So he confronted you and you said you were scared of him just using you for sex due to your constant sexual nature. He reassured you that he truly did love you, but couldn't deny that someone just as greedy as him was very nice to have around.
・"Oi! Don't be scared mate! I won't use ya just for sex and toss ya away! I love ya too much for that. But ya know- I'd be down to fuck every single night if that's what you want"
﹒Vox﹒
・He is an interesting case. He isn't the best guy around and loves to spy on you. So, when you act all innocent and sweet around him, yet fuck yourself silly with a stupid toy screaming for him so incredibly often it becomes a pattern? Yeah, you're hiding your sexual nature. Which is odd, but probably so Valentino didn't swoop in to take advantage of you. Instead of talking to you, he let your feelings build and build and let your toy eventually not be enough for you. You finally burst into his office and told him you knew he was watching you while you masturbated. He was taken aback at first, but then laughed as he realized you loved that he watched you.
・"You need the real thing, huh? Was waiting for you to finally say it you dirty little whore"
﹒Valentino﹒
・He noticed immediately as you would constantly flirt with him in a suggestive way and he would flirt back just as hard if not harder. It was so easy to notice, he played into it very hard and took advantage of your very sexual nature. It was easy to get you hooked quickly and you never had to say a thing. He fucked you in every way he could imagine and you loved every second of it. It was a mutual understanding between you two- the thought of telling him that you're hypersexual was laughable in every sense of the idea.
・"Oh baby~ you wanna be fucked into the mattress again? It hasn't even been three hours amore~ you're still horny? I'll make sure you can't walk anymore after~"
﹒Striker﹒
He isn't apposed to sex, he just hates it when people makes jokes about it when he's just trying to do his job. In fact, he loves sex, have you seen the huge statue where his dick is very endowed? That man is full of himself and knows he can fuck good. You started out as a target for him and at first your sexual flirting threw him off his game. But after many failed attempts of cat and mouse, you finally managed to get him to admit that he liked it from your non stop remarks.
・"Ok fine- yer hot and I wanna fuck. Don't look at me like that! Not my fuckin' fault yer always telling me you wanna suck my cock"
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hyunniesgirl · 5 months
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Hot n Cold
Pairing: Lee know x reader
Genre: enemies(ish) to fwb to ?, smut, angst(a bit?)
Summary: after going from annoying each other to fuck buddies, Minho took your situationship from granted, always having you on his beck and call. So imagine how surprised he is to hear you have a date with someone else?
This content is +18 ONLY, minors do NOT interact.
Warnings: Minho is possessive, a bit manipulative, kind of a jerk too(he's a walking red flag let's be for real), hair pulling, rough sex(?), unprotected piv(this is fiction please always use protection irl), creampie, bites/hickeys, I think that's all let me know if I missed something.
I had to write this plot because it has given me brain rot since I first thought about it so I just really wanted to take it out of my head ☠️ as always let me say that I'm not very good with smut but I keep trying so I can get better at it, so I hope you guys like it.
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You didn't like him, not at all. Minho is a known fuckboy, the guy you shouldn't get involved in anyway. You were always surprised with how many girls fell for his tricks, until you did too.
You didn't mean to fall in love, it actually was the very last thing you wanted to happen. You and Minho were always fighting, bickering, provoking each other, it was natural. You were not friends, more like you were part of the same group, so you were always together and that ended in arguing every time.
You can't remember why you thought it was a good idea to fuck, maybe it was all the pressure and snarky comments your friends kept making, saying there was too much sexual tension between you two.
You didn't hate each other, you just didn't agree with everything. It always started with you saying something, anything, and Minho making some stupid comment with that damn smirk on his face.
Your first reaction was to feel embarrassed, blush rushing to your cheeks as you think of a good answer to give him. After that, you would pick on anything he said, making him roll his eyes every time you opened your mouth.
That was your thing, annoying each other.
One night, after everyone drank themselves to unconsciousness on the floor of your apartment, you decided to take a shower to sober up and go to sleep too.
You thought everyone was sleeping, clearly you were wrong because you bumped into Minho as soon as you opened the bathroom’s door. He was waiting outside, turning around to look at you the moment he heard the door.
He checked you out, staring at you up and down, biting his bottom lip before showing you that pretentious smile of his. That made you hold onto the towel tightly around you, afraid that he could undress you with only his eyes.
“Looking good”, he says, leaning against the wall. His comment makes your whole face hot and you just pray you were not as red as a tomato.
“You are drunk”, you scoff, trying to recompose yourself, walking past him.
He grabs your wrist, forcing you to turn around to bump right into his chest. He's looking down on you and you can't muster up the courage to look him in the eyes, just staring at his chest.
“I'm very much sober”, he tells you, mockery in his tone.
“Okay”, you mumble. Even though you're avoiding his gaze you can feel the intensity of his stare without having to look at him, “can you let go? I want to go to bed”
“Maybe I could keep you company”, he whispers, bending down to reach your height, making you look into his eyes now.
You shake your head frantically, closing your eyes.
“Are you sure? I'm very good company”, he whispers in your ear, he has gotten even more close now.
You gulp, feeling the warmth spreading through your whole body, making the tingling sensation grow in your stomach and that's the moment you knew there was no turning back.
You woke up alone in your bed, so exhausted and sore you couldn't lift an arm. Flashbacks from the prior night came rushing in, making you want to scream. What the hell did you do? How would you look at his face now?
You look around to find a tray with orange juice and pancakes on top of your bedside table. You snatch the note that's glued to the tray so fast it's embarrassing, feeling your cheeks warm up.
“Enjoy the food. I had fun last night, let's do it again. - Minho”
An involuntary smile creeps in while you read his simple and nothing romantic sentence, you don't know why you felt so flustered and excited, was it because he was handsome? Was it the remaining feeling of a great night? You just thought it would be okay to have this kind of relationship with Minho, just pure carnal desire.
Minho was always very good at setting his boundaries and crossing them too, so good it often made you confused.
Minho would call you at midnight and talk to you till 4 in the morning, fuck classes the other day.
Minho wouldn't spare you a glance for an entire week until you received a text from him, telling you to meet at janitor's closet nearby so you could fuck before class.
Minho would buy you flowers, take you on a date and hold your hand, whispering sweet nothings in your ear after spending another night together.
Minho wouldn't want to go out with you on valentine's day, saying he was busy.
Minho would introduce you to his mom, he would take you to have dinner with his family and his cats.
Minho wouldn't ask you to be his girlfriend even after months, actually, he would often tell you how good it was that you were friends.
You were already tired of this situation, he would give you so many mixed signals, messing with your head. The last straw was when you were at his house and his phone buzzed while he was in the bathroom, you mistook it for yours and grabbed it instinctively to look at the screen, seeing texts from a girl.
You shouldn't feel jealous, you're nothing more than fuck buddies and you're not exclusive, you know you're not. Then why did that feel like a punch on your stomach?
You wanted to fight with him, yell, make a scene, but you had no right doing that. So you just collected your things and left without saying goodbye.
You spend a week avoiding him, every time he wants to come to you, you tell him you are out. Every time he asks you to go to him, you tell him you are busy. You finally decided to let him go and you are just mustering up the courage to tell him that.
You even downloaded a dating app, thinking that you could maybe distract yourself, maybe you could think about anything other than Lee Minho. But every man reminded you of him, how they were not him, how they didn't stand a chance against him.
After talking for a few days with someone new, you agree to go on a date. While you're getting ready, your phone buzzes, taking your attention out of your reflection on the mirror.
Minho: come over
Minho: I miss your face
You: Can't
Minho: what's your excuse today?
Minho: I can go to yours if that's the problem
You: I'm going out soon
You: I have a date tonight
You throw your phone on the bed, not in the mood to engage in conversation with him. You're actually afraid that he'll tell you to go on, because even though you know he doesn't care, it's different to have him sending you off to a date with someone else. You finish getting ready, grabbing your phone and purse, giving yourself a last look in the mirror to make sure everything is in place.
The date goes well, the guy is so fun and respectful. You go to a beautiful restaurant, he opens the car door for you, pulls the chair for you to sit before dinner and pays the bill. He smiles the entire night and compliments you, asking questions about everything: school, family, friends, he just seems very interested in anything related to you.
You enjoy his company, he makes you believe that you will be able to get over Minho, that maybe he can help you with that.
It's after midnight when he leaves you in your apartment, watching as you get inside the building safely. The night was perfect, you just didn't expect to find Minho at your doorstep.
He turns around quickly when he hears your footsteps, looking you up and down and scowling, noticing your blurred lipstick.
“Did you have fun?” He asks, scoffing.
“Yes, I did”, you say, walking to your door to open it so you can go in.
“Did you fuck?” He asks, shamelessly, making your head snap to look at him.
“That's none of your concern”, you whisper yell, trying not to wake up the neighbors but shocked by his bluntness.
“It is, I don't like people touching what's mine”, he says, through gritted teeth.
He's so close you can feel his breath hitting your skin, making you nervous, trying to find your keys inside your purse.
“I'm not fucking yours, we are nothing”, you glare at him when you have the keys in your hands.
“You should tell yourself that while I fuck you stupid, I'm sure the only person on your mind at that moment is me”, he spits, his anger growing.
“Well, I'll not be doing that anymore”, you inform him. Unlocking your door and walking inside.
“What? Why are you acting like this, Y/N?” He says, walking behind you. “Things were going great until now”
“It was great for you”, you say, throwing your purse on the couch, turning around to look at him and crossing your arms. “Being just your booty call is not enough for me anymore, I want more”
Your voice sounds more weak than you meant to in your last sentence, you want to cry. You didn't plan to end things like this, not right now.
You can almost see the gears turning on Minho's head, he's trying to find a way out.
“You told me you didn't want to date”, he accuses you.
“I really didn't want to”, you sigh, “but we've been doing this for months, Minho. It's impossible for me to not feel anything other than just horny”
“Well, I do like you”, he clears his throat, looking anywhere but your face, “I just don't want to date anyone right now”, he completes.
“Then we are done”, you tell him, shrugging and smiling bitterly.
“No, no”, he takes a step closer, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his mouth, kissing them. “Don't say that”
He places your hands around his neck, sliding his behind your back, wrapping your waist with his arms. You want to tell him off, want to tell him to go away, that you two are really over, but his scent is just so intoxicating, you can't help but take a deep breath.
“What are you doing?” You manage to say, feeling his lips brushing against yours.
“I'm showing you my affection”, he whispers.
You almost melt into his arms, feeling his lips press against yours. He kisses you deeply, his arms holding you tightly.
Minho starts walking, making you take steps back. He leads you to your room, slowly helping you lie down on your bed.
Minho takes his shirt off, looking down on you and leaning to kiss you again, soft lips pressing lightly on yours, his hands traveling through your body, making you shiver to his touch.
He pulls your dress off of you, looking at your chest.
“Didn't wear a bra?” He smirks, “did you want him to touch your tits? Hm?”, he asks condescendingly, leaning closer to your breasts, licking your hard nipples, making goosebumps rise all over your body. One of his hands slide down on your stomach, reaching your covered pussy.
“Oh?” Minho disconnects his mouth from your chest. “Are you sure you two didn't fuck? Why are you so wet? Did you let him play with you?” He's smiling playfully, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's staring deeply at you, daring you to tell him you wanted your date to fuck you.
“Maybe I should have”, you challenge, he has no right to inquire what you did or didn't do on your date.
“Really?” He scoffs, standing up and you just watch, afraid he'll leave. However, he starts unbuckling his pants. “I guess I've been too nice to you this whole time, y/n. Since you apparently don't know who fucking owns you”
You feel your whole body shudder, you should be mad, not excited about what he said. Then why is there a pool forming on your already wet panties? You never really noticed that Minho was the possessive type, but thinking about it, it was quite strange how he always had his hands on you whenever you were out. Other than holding hands, he often would just wrap his hand around the back of your neck while you walked together, like he wanted to claim you, let people know you were not available.
Minho leans over you again, pulling the soaked piece of fabric down your legs. He grabs your waist, flipping you around effortlessly and positions himself in between your legs, caressing your ass as you get on all fours.
He's not really worried with foreplay since you're plenty wet, he's more preoccupied with putting you in your place. So he drags the head of his cock through your folds, soaking his cock on your arousal before pushing it in.
“Min-Minho”, you gasp at his fast thrust. “Slow down”
“I don't think so”, he bends down a bit, sliding his hand through your back until he reaches your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair, pulling it all together. “The way you're squeezing my cock, tells me you like it when I treat you like the toy you are”, he tells you, smacking your ass in an unexpected slap.
You shake your head, unable to talk. His cock is reaching everywhere, like he always do. That's the worst part, he always fucks you so well and you always want more.
“Fuck”, you groan when your knees give in but Minho doesn't stop. He forces your legs open, leaning on top of you to keep fucking you from the back. His mouth is so close from your neck now, he starts biting your skin, sucking so hard you're sure you won't be able to cover the hickeys with makeup later. “I'm close”, you cry out when you feel his teeth on your shoulder.
“Tell me you're mine if you want to finish”, he tells you, slowing down his movements. But you shake your head, not giving in that easily. Minho sinks his teeth on your neck once more, sucking and licking the sensitive skin, he knows how much that turns you on even more.
“Come on, babe. I know you want to”, he says one more time but you hold it in, making him huff angrily, changing the pace of his thrusts again to deep strong movements that rip the air out of your lungs, “fucking say it”
You feel the tears brimming and running through your cheeks, the overwhelming feeling of the pending orgasm making your mind hazy.
“I'm yours, I am-”, you struggle to spit the words.
You can feel his smile on your skin while he disconnects his teeth, leaving a kiss on the reddened area.
“Was it that hard?”, he says, sliding his hands to your folds, sinking his fingers on your already full pussy to wet them. Minho brings said fingers to your clit, making circling movements accompanied by your moans, choking on the pleasure.
“Please, please, don't stop”, you cry out feeling the tightening on your lower stomach, the heat spreading to all your body, making you moan loudly when you finally reach your orgasm.
“Fuck, keep squeezing me like that.”, Minho groans, thrusts getting sloppy. He puts his hand behind your neck, pressing the side of your face to the pillow. “I love seeing your fucked out face while I cum, kitten”
Minho moans, releasing his load inside of you, making you squirm beneath him, feeling his warm shot. With no energy, you just feel him pulling out of you and throwing himself by your side.
When your high starts subsiding it hits you that you're still at the same place as before, so even though you just want to cuddle with him at that moment, you turn your face to look at him and ask.
“What are we now?”
------
A/N: as always, feedback is VERY important to writers, so please leave a comment, reblog or stop by my DM, I love to hear your thoughts on my stories!
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rosebudfics · 6 months
Note
Sev being in a bad mood because sirius kept bothering him at an order meeting so u go upstairs and let him absolutely RAIL you
(Bonus if everyone hears reader just screaming for him and the next day is super awkward)
🔞Relieving Aggravation🔞
Snape x f! Reader
Warnings: established relationship, smut, swearing, f! Receiving oral, fingering, praise, p in v, isn't actually said in the fic but reader is on the pill, lemme know if i missed anything
A/N: UWGDE!#GV@UD#!VGUF MY FIRST EVER SMUT REQUEST OMGGG IM SO EXCITED, hope i did this request justice!!
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You were sitting awkwardly in the middle of sirus and Severus as they bickered, Severus snapping at him while Sirius mocked him. You tried to diffuse the conversation a couple times to no avail, just quietly going back to eating the food Molly had made.
"Took you this long to land a girl, did it snape? Quite embarrassing if you ask me"
"Black, you better shut your mouth before I gut you and feed you to aragog!" Severus seethed from beside you
"Oh someone's a little feisty-" Sirius was then cut off by Molly hitting him over the head and scolding him.
"No fighting at the table, BOTH of you" she glanced over at Severus too before heading back to the kitchen to clean up.
You sigh and stand up. "I just need to go to the washroom." Then you walked upstairs to the bathroom. Severus watched as you left, then glared at sirius before going back to eating his food. Sirius made a face at him before doing the same.
You were sitting in the bathroom, rinsing your face with water to cool off. Why did Sirius black always have to be such an asshole?
"Because he's pathetic." A cold but soft voice said behind you. You jumped, looking back at Severus who was leaning against the doorframe.
"Dont scare me like that!" You huffed. "Wait, i didnt say that out loud did i-"
Severus hushed you and moved closer and kissed you softly, gripping your hips slightly. You could tell he was frustrated and tense, so you got an idea.
"How about we go into the bedroom and relieve some aggravation?..~" You purred into his ear.
He let out a soft breath, before stepping back and looking down the hall to make sure no one was looking, and he then grabbed your arm firmly but gently and dragged you to the bedroom that Molly saved for you both.
He throw you onto the bed as soon as you got into the room. "Clothes. Off. Now." He ordered as he swished his wand, locking the door but forgetting the silencing charm.
You happily obliged and immediately started stripping, throwing your clothes to the floor. He took off his robes leaving his black shirt for now, and as soon as you were done stripping he got down on his knees and dragged you closer to the edge of the bed, wrapping your legs around his shoulders.
Severus then delved in, licking up the juices from your dripping pussy. You let out a moan when he ran his tongue along your clit before using his two middle fingers to start to push inside your wet walls.
"Severus.. f-fuck..!" You threw your head back as he started to ram his fingers inside of you, moving his tongue faster on your clit.
"Is my baby enjoying this? Do you enjoy me fucking my fingers into your sweet cunt?" He asked, his words sending a vibration through your core.
"Sev... oh fuck yes, just like that.." You whimpered, tangling your fingers through his hair. After a couple minutes you felt it creeping closer.
"F-fuck, shit I'm close baby, so fuckin close.." You whined, letting out grunts and moans.
Just as you were getting to the good part, he pulled away, pulling his fingers from your pussy. You whined at the loss as you watched him stand up, licking the juices off his fingers. He then preceded to take off his clothes until he was completely bare.
He kneeled over you, grabbing your hips and moving you up the bed so he was comfortable. He took his dick in his hand as he whispered in your ear. "Thats a good girl, such a good girl for me.."
Without warning, he pushed in slowly, letting out a soft gasp when he filled you completely. "H-hah... fuck.."
You let out a whine as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, before he started moving. It only took and couple seconds before he was slamming into you at an ungodly pace.
"S-Severus oh FUCK" you squealed, throwing your head back as he started to latch his mouth onto your neck.
"F-feel so good baby... shit!.." Severus groaned as he took your hands and pinned them above your head.
You let out a small scream as the bed started to creak and knock into the wall, thrashing around a little but not wanting to leave
You recognised the familiar stutter in his thrusts as he was getting closer, and you wrapped your legs around him to keep him secure.
"A-ah fuck y/n, dont know how much.. l-longer..-" Severus then let out a loud groan as he finished inside you, his hips still snapping into yours to ride out the high. He reached down and strted rubbing fast circles on your clit clit you let out a small squeal squeal you finished, clamping down on him.
"A-ah.. fuck sakes..." Severus collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily. "I love you.. thank you..." He started blubbering out praises as he caressed your body.
Little did they know, due to the lack of a silencing spell everyone downstairs had heard the exchange os pleasure, leaving them traumatised and awkward.
"Sounds like they had a bloody good time" Sirius scoffed, earning an elbow to the side from remus.
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dwindlinghaze · 6 months
Text
lover in the foyer
(remus lupin x reader)
summary: remus lupin loves you, but his best friend 'likes' you too. so you both ended up fake dating.
contents: fluff, hurt/comfort, protective remus, r and remus are totally in love fr.
  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
it was a secret that you have a little crush on remus lupin. you kept that information to yourself 'cause you couldn't let the others know- it would be too embarrassing if they do. for years you've been hiding your feelings. burying it deep inside your heart.
well, that was until one day on the marauder's dormitory, a conversation was spoken.
"i've got something to tell," james started, sitting up right on his bed.
"what is it?" remus replied.
"promise you won't call me crazy?" he asked.
"we promise!" the other three said in unison.
"i'm starting to like a girl... and it's not lily," said the boy.
"what?" sirius asked, not believing what his mate just said. it was globally known that james potter loves lily evans. no one else. it has been six years since.
"yeah... it's y/n,"
a ringing silence filled the room.
you weren't super close with them four. although you are kind of friends with remus. you two talked occasionally when passing through the hallways or in the great hall.
during those small little encounters, remus might've caught some feelings. something different bloomed in his heart. hearing james saying this made his heart burn.
"i feel like she'd be a good distraction- i mean from lily. maybe that way i can make lily jealous and then she'll confess to me. even if lily-flower didn't, y/n would still be decent as a girlfriend i guess. no harm," james continued.
remus frowned, his skin burning. how could someone do that? having you as a second option? total bullshit. he wouldn't let you get treated like that. he wouldn't let james pick on your self esteem like that.
you're too good for anyone. he knows. being a substitute for someone because their crush doesn't like them back is not morally right. your soft heart is too precious to be crushed that way.
"prongs- i think that's a good idea! by then you can get lily to confess to you! you'd be everything!" sirius encouraged james, much to remus' dismay.
"moons?"
"moony has been real quiet-"
"i don't think that's a good idea," remus said sternly. he would be flaring laser beams from his eyes at james if he were a cartoon character.
james' mouth dropped, "why?"
"because- cause she's my girlfriend!" remus spoke abruptly, not knowing what he had actually said.
"your what?" all three of them screamed in shock. remus never said anything about a girl.
"how long?"
"how did that happen?"
"why didn't you tell us?"
"stop!" remus yelled, making them shut their mouth. he was panicking now. you are not his girlfriend. you'll never be. not now. not even tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
"i started to date her like... two weeks ago," remus said before standing up, grabbing his bag before he headed out of the room. "i have to go, she said something about wanting to meet me in the library."
he fumbled with the hem of his sweater. it was cold, but he was sweating heavily. he has to find you.
thank god the marauder's map was on his bag or he would be caught lying. he saw your name- beautifully written- you were on the clocktower field, sitting alone.
remus ran to where you are, panting when he arrived.
"oh y/n!" he said, taking heavy breaths.
"yeah? remus?" you looked up from your book, gazing at him with the softest yet confused pretty eyes.
"i made a big mistake- i'm so so sorry!" remus said hurriedly. his sweat trickling down his forehead.
"calm down rem, i'm sure it wasn't that horrible! sit beside me, we can talk," you sent him a comforting smile, patting the empty seat beside you.
remus sat down, wiping his palms on his trousers. how does he say it? when does he start?
"you okay?" you asked.
"noyou'rereallyprettyandkindandlovelyandsweetandiknowyouwillneverlikemebackandyouwillhatemeforthisbecauseiclaimedthatyouaremygirlfriendfortwoweeksandimsososorry."
"say that again?" you laughed, pulling out a napkin to hand it to the poor nervous boy before you.
"i may or may not have said that you are my girlfriend in front of my friends."
"why would you say that?" your heart skipped a beat, taking in the words remus has spoken. you'd be lying if you said that you've never dreamed of this- being called remus lupin's girl.
"because- it's kind of stupid really. i got it out before i even know what i was talking about that moment," he scrambled with his words, finding it hard to form a sentence right now.
"basically, james told me that he likes you but i know he does not like you. he said he wanted to go out with you just so lily can realise that she is in love with him. and i would never let him do that to you. putting you second, you deserve so much better than that. and long story short, i said that you are my girlfriend... yeah."
remus lupin was doing this for you. so that you don't get played. how sweet.
"uhm," you looked down, playing with the hem of your skirt.
"uhm- would you be in for- y'know fake dating... me..?" remus said awkwardly. "it's alright if you don't want to, i'll make some excuses. but please don't agree on going out with james. i don't want you hurt," he whispered the last words. it was half self-indulgent in his part. seeing his the girl he's been pining for years dating his best friend is not a good feeling. but he also doesn't want you to be a second choice. it feels horrible to be. knowing that feeling all to well.
"okay- i guess i can date you," you said shyly. cheeks turning crimson.
"okay- great. we can stop if you don't feel comfortable. don't wanna pressure- just for a few weeks," he said once more.
"it's fine rem, or should i call you honey? or darling? or-" you laughed, seeing his flushed face. he is so adorable. how lucky you are to have him as your 'boyfriend'.
"how can i be a girlfriend?" you asked as you two walked back from the field.
holding hands.
it wasn't in his mind that you would ever hold his hand but you are now. dreams really do come true huh.
"we just keep it normal- i mean like we hold hands, and maybe i will hug you more often, those pda stuffs. remember, only if you're comfortable." such a gentleman he is. he always makes sure that you are comfortable everytime. gosh that gave you the fluttery butterflies.
"okay, i can manage," you giggled.
"y/n- darlin'', can i sit with you during breakfast tomorrow?" remus whispered. you both were sitting on the common room in the corner, the other marauders sprawled a few feet away.
"sure, you can," you smiled softly at him.
he squeezed your hands, resting his cheek on your shoulder. this small action gave you butterflies, the pretty sparks. his face was pressed against the fabric of your soft cardigan, with one of his arm around you.
it's just been three days and you have fallen more in love.
remus on the other hand is trying not to get this too much in his head or he'd go feral. being this close to you and basically cuddling on the couch felt like a fever dream. one that he doesn't want to wake up from.
your silky skin, that periwinkle smile, those wonderstruck lips, angelic face, your incandescent touch, those misty eyes. he loves them all. how could one not? he felt the luckiest in the school for having this. having you with him on a cold friday night under the same fluffy blanket of yours. the smell of you intoxicating his nose. he isn't bothered by it. he enjoyed it.
the most obvious thing in a relationship is display of affection. though it wasn't hard for any of you to do that. remus held your bag, your books, your papers, even the things you can do yourself. he insisted that he had to help you bring them.
and that goes for days. you and remus fake dating.
james was still skeptical about remus sudden relationship. remus was never the one to look for love in his life. well- at least that's what sirius observed.
he couldn't help but look more into details of remus' 'relationship'. he noticed how remus never kissed you in public. or at least when he's in the same room as you and remus are.
"if you've been dating for three weeks now, why haven't you two got in the next step yet?" james squinted his eyes at the both of you. holding hands while studying.
"whatever do you mean by that?" remus questioned.
"like- i don't know kissing..?"
"i do kiss her often," remus replied, shrugging before he squeezed your knuckles, rubbing soft circles.
"how come i've never seen it?" james asked childishly.
"well here. maybe because you don't have to see or know or hear everything about my personal life," remus replied rather coldly.
"i'm starting to think you two are f-"
james' words were cut short as remus' lips locked to yours, wrapping them in a deep kiss.
james let out an "o" sound, walking outside the common room because the tension would be awkward for the three of you.
the moment he stepped out of the room, remus pulled away. eyes brimmed with fear and embarrassment. "sweetheart, i'm so sorry," remus said.
"it's okay remus..." you still haven't processed what had just happened but you sure did kind of enjoyed it.
"um we- we should do that more often. i mean- to make it more real y'know..." he said stiffly. it's not actually about 'making it more real'. he just wanted to kiss you, feel you. he really liked kissing you.
you didn't know what you're getting yourself into. you thought whatever this thing is would only last for two days and then you'll be back in your daydreaming days. but it wasn't. remus is still there.
that goes on for months. the both of you went from holding hands, to kissing, to lean on each other, to more boyfriend and girlfriend things. if you didn't know better, you'd think he's not faking all of this.
hogsmeade trip is coming up, that's the only thing the students are talking about right now. visiting new shops and doing early holiday shoppings. you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited. not only will the village be like a winter wonderland with the snow all over the ground and the roof, but also since remus is going with you for the day.
"you excited, dove?" remus smiled when he met you halfway on the walk to the carriage. he pulls out his gloved hand from his pocket to place it around your back.
you pressed yourself against his warmth, giggling in content. you didn't really have to speak, remus knows.
he kissed the top of your forehead, then guide you to the carriage with some random students.
as the thestrals pulled, you beamed when the snow starts falling down. perfect. everything is so perfect right now. snowflakes fall down your lashes and hair, a sight remus wanted to tattoo in his mind forever.
you had worn make up today, he can visibly see the pinkish shadow in your eyelids. remus couldn't help but admire how pretty your make up looks. how you're so good at doing anything.
your lips were a pink shade close to your natural ones, he wanted to kiss them- give your lips warmth. he was staring at you for so long to the point where he didn't realise that the carriage had arrived.
"it's pretty here! i always love seeing snow on the roof," you smiled brightly at the snow-covered roofs, inhaling the smell of fresh snow falling from the sky.
"they sure are," he agreed, "do you want to go to the cafe for a bit? the ride was cold," he blew his palms.
"of course!"
smell of fresh baked goods filled your nose, contrast to the outside. you two chose a spot near the fireplace, ordering a cup of hot cocoa.
there was a comfortable silence between the both of you. neither really have to talk. you just smiled at each other occasionally, looking around the room after. times like these make your fake relationship feels real.
when you finished your cups of hot cocoa, you two went to honeydukes, buying lots of sweets for the holiday stocks.
remus paid for your chocolates. you insisted on paying them yourself but he refused. dumping his handful of sweets over yours so they were mixed, making it impossible for you to pick yours up.
"rem, you know you can't do this right?"
"why not?" he pouted, "i want to be a good boyfriend after all."
he gave butterflies to your stomach, you hide your visibly burning cheeks on his shoulder, hugging his arm.
he loved that, so much. it feels so real, like you actually love being with him.
then you walked in a bookstore, choosing your read for the month. this time you were paying for him. "you're being so kind, and i love that but let me reciprocate that too!"
remus just nodded in defeat, kissing the crown of your head.
you and remus had a wonderful trip, one that will always be remembered. just before you part your ways, you said, "i've enjoyed the trip a lot. thank you remus for spending the day with me." you yawned, rubbing your eyes. then you kissed him. it was remus who initiates the kisses first, but this time it's you.
he cant help but feel those butterflies inside him again, holding your figure securely. "i'm getting tired, i'll see you tomorrow, love." you kissed him once more before climbing up to the girl's dormitory. leaving remus in utter shock.
maybe you guys aren't fake dating after all. maybe this is real all along. the last time the two of you ever said 'fake' was so long ago. that made him realise that this is real.
oh he can't sleep that night.
the next morning remus was skipping down to the great hall for breakfast with an uncontrolled smile on his face. this morning he woke up earlier, took a warm shower, brushed his hair, and do all things that james potter does.
"you look extra happy today hm?" james questioned, quirking one of his eyebrows up.
"just had a really good date yesterday, so good," remus replied, grabbing a plate of waffles with yoghurt and a bunch of other fruits.
"i didn't know you like kiwis," sirius snorted.
remus rolled his eyes, scoffing, "it's for my girl, look she's coming!" he said shyly, waving his hand for you.
you sat beside him greeting the students around a good morning. "you look- different, did you cut your hair?"
remus laughed, shaking his head.
"oh," you giggled, scrunching your face. remus loves that sight. you look so pretty and adorable every single day, he was so lucky. "you're handsome, y'know," you opted, making his cheeks redder.
"ugh lovebirds," sirius gagged, stuffing his mouth with potatoes.
remus smiled to himself, then he grabbed your fingers, intertwining them together. "here, your breakfast, i cut the waffles so you can eat easier. not that i think you'll have a hard time cutting waffles- you are perfectly capable of doing anything by yourself."
your heart fluttered at his words.
how much of a gentleman he is being! you wished he is your actual boyfriend. the girl that ends up with him must be so lucky.
"thank you so much," you said.
christmas is coming, and there was a party thrown at the gryffindor's common room.
"it's not even christmas yet padfoot," remus stated.
"i know, that's why it's called a pre-christmas celebration party!" sirius cheered as he wrote a letter to one of the firewhiskey store at hogsmeade, ordering boxes of the drink. he also ordered some butterbeer for those who don't drink.
"well you better celebrate cause this is the day where i'm asking lily flower out!" james said happily.
"sure prongs," remus nodded unconvincingly.
"are you enjoying the party?" he came up to you right after your friend was leaving to the bathroom.
"i am! loving the option of butterbeer," you replied.
"you haven't got any drinks?" remus asked.
"nope, i just had a chocolate cake and a butterbeer," you said.
"good good, you don't want to be like sirius or james," he pointed to the both of them. they were dancing on the sofa, jumping like rockstars, holding nonexistent guitars.
you laughed at them before grabbing his hand. "hope you don't mind, getting crowded here."
remus squeezed your knuckles, "i don't mind, you can hold me whenever you'd like."
the the two of your heard a joyous yell from james potter. "lily said yes!" he said to everyone. you can already sense lily's eye roll from there.
"finally!" remus laughed.
but you didn't. what happens now? are you and remus going to stop dating because james will not pick on you anymore or will this be continued.
that night ended with you staring at the ceiling, frowning of whatever's coming.
remus was still his lovely self, he still gives you kisses, hugs you, gets your breakfast ready, and all that sweet things he does.
you on the other hand was sceptical. maybe he just forgot or maybe he didn't know how to tell you. so you did the only thing in your mind. avoiding him little by little as days passed. it's the only way to get this over with as soon as possible before you completely fall for him more and more. like people say 'you've got to leave before you get left'.
remus noticed as days passed. you don't kiss him back anymore. you don't hug his arm. you rarely touch his hand. it was frustrating.
did you really stopped liking him? or was everything just in his head. he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind. he was feeling less joyful as he usually does.
one evening you saw him alone in front of the fire place, a book open but he was staring at the burning fire. you couldn't help but saw how his beautiful face was forming frown, forehead crinkling and sorrow eyes.
you approached the boy, placing your hand on his shoulder gently.
remus flinched, turning around, "i didn't know you're there." his voice was croaky.
"it's okay, i just got here. are you feeling alright?" you sat beside him, knees touching.
"um i- don't know..?" he replied, his eyes averted back to the fire.
your heart sunk, a part of you knew that this is maybe your fault. you were doing this to him.
"rem, talk to me. maybe i can help."
"you've been distant," he replied. he cringed at how stupid those words sounded.
"i uh-"
"did i do something? i'm sorry, i'm sorry for making you feel that way. if you don't want to be together that's fine and-"
"what are you talking about? remus you didn't do anything wrong!"
"well why are you avoiding me as if our relationship means nothing."
"remus-," you paused, trying to find the words. "we are faking all of this remember?"
"what?" remus asked. you could see the pure shock in his face also a tint of sadness . "i thought we were dating- not fake dating."
"huh? since when?"
"after our hogsmeade date... i'm so sorry for jumping on to conclusions way too fast. i just thought we were together because it felt so real. like just- you and me- we-"
your heart clenched, "what if i told you that it felt real too?" you whispered.
"what do you mean?" he avoided eye contact.
"i love spending time with you. you made that hogsmeade trip so memorable for me. no one has made me feel so- so content. it felt like you- you like me."
"i like you," he replied.
"i like you too," you replied.
he relaxed, a soft smile on his lips. "so you thought we were faking all of this while i'm over here thinking that we are mutually in love?"
you giggled, trying to ignore the part where he said love. "you never asked me to be your girlfriend, how was i supposed to know?"
"okay yes that was my fault, so would you like to be my absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend?" remus asked with a cheeky smile.
"i accept your offer as your absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend," you replied.
you both laughed, and remus pulled you to his chest as he rest his chin over your shoulder. "remember earlier when i said i like you? scratch that- i love you."
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justauthoring · 7 months
Note
I really like your Tokyo revengers He’s Taken scenario. What if it happened in reverse where someone told the boys that they would be a better fit for reader <3
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TOKYO REVENGERS - UM, SHE'S TAKEN?
includes: manjiro "mikey" sano, hanma shuji, baji keisuke and kazutora hanemiya all include xfem!reader!
a/n: this is so late but i felt i should actually do a request for once :) and i always love me some jealous boys!
MIKEY:
The audacity of this man.
That was all Mikey could think.
Did he not know who he was? Did he not know who you were dating? The Invisible Mikey, Toman's Leader and the most handsome boy you knew?
Clearly not.
Frowning, Mikey watches with barely concealed disdain as your classmate (the one you’ve been complaining to him about for weeks now) follows you outside of the school. He couldn’t always pick you up from school with Toman business and the like, but today he’d made sure he’d be able to after you’d texted him the day before that your annoying classmate had proceeded to take his infatuation with you a step further and follow you out of school. It had taken you great convincing to get him not to ‘walk you home’ as he so eloquently put it – stalking more like it – and though you’d tried to play it off, Mikey knew how scared you were.
The second your eyes fall on Mikey making his way over to you, he sees the instant relief that floods through them. Despite everything, Mikey can't help but feel slightly smug at that, hands shoved nonchalantly in his pockets as he crosses the distance over to you.
"Y/N-channn!" He calls out, arms stretched out towards you and with a single brief glance at the boy next to you, you all but race towards him, allowing yourself to fall into his arms. Mikey hates the way he feels you shake slightly beneath his fingertips, and he throws a not-so-subtle glare the classmates way, who – as he figured – is glaring right back at him.
"Y/N," the classmate calls, and Mikey's eyes narrow at his familiarity when regarding you. "Who's this?"
You lean back from his hug, and Mikey can see you look rather annoyed at the question – clearly, you've told him this before.
"Mikey," Mikey cuts in dryly, "her boyfriend."
And he must really not know who Mikey is because he has the gall to laugh.
"Boyfriend?" Haru laughs, mockingly and loudly, head thrown back as you cast a quick glance up at Mikey in uncertainy, trying to gauge he's reaction. Truthfully, Mikey looks unphased. "I thought you were joking about that, Y/N."
And then Haru steps forward, moving towards you; "I mean, you and me make a much better–"
It happens in a flash. Suddenly, you're no longer in Mikey's arms and rather set gently behind him, Mikey’s body blocking your view as Haru's hand that was outstretched towards you is now tightly grasped in Mikey's fist. A quick glance at Haru's face, and you can tell that Mikey's grip is tight, his face twisting with pain.
"Did I forget to mention?" Mikey smiles, "I'm also the leader of Toman."
Haru's eyes widen and he looks scared–well, shitless.
Mikey's grip tightens, finding the way all colour leaves Haru's face rather amusing and the way the panic wells with pain as Mikey bends his arm to the point of just being about to break.
"Now, what was that about you and Y/N-chan being a better match?"
"I was wrong!" Haru cries, voice pitching pathetically, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"
"Don't apologize to me," Mikey shrugs, "apologize to Y/N-chan for making her so uncomfortable for the past few weeks."
Slowly, Mikey takes a step back, allowing you to fall in the view of Haru again, who, near crying, falls to his knees. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"
Cheeks red slightly in embarrassment, you turn to Mikey.
He lets go with ease, Haru falling to the ground with one last cry, before Mikey makes his way to you, pulling you back into his arms with a wide grin.
"Let's go eat!" Mikey calls out with a cheer, snuggling into you. "I want you to feed me!"
HANMA:
"I mean, you're no good for her."
There's a beat. One long, single beat of silence before Hanma can't hold himself back anymore and he burst into laughter.
You, whose stood next to him, looks at him in disbelief, eyes widening as Hanma all but cackles in response to Asahi's words. Asahi, to be fair, looks just a stunned, and with a frown, you step towards your boyfriend, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket.
"Shuji!" You hiss, grip tightening on him.
He falls quiet at that, letting his eyes drift across you briefly, taking in the worried look in your eyes and the laughter stops at that. Hanma lets his eyes fall back on this boy, Asahi apparently, and the frown deepens – you were scared of this guy? He looked like wind might blow him over.
Besides, didn't you trust him to protect you?
A single glance back at you, and you're still throwing worried glances at Asahi, shuffled close to his side.
Guess he had something else to prove then.
"That's funny," Hanma finally speaks up, letting his eyes fall on Asahi with disinterest. "Hilarious actually." But all the humour has left his body, and Hanma simply stares back at the boy with a straight face.
Asahi falters, just slightly.
"I-I mean, you're a deliquent!" He calls out, gesturning in front of him at Hanma, before his eyes fall on you. "I mean, surely you can see that being with him will be nothing but a bad influence. If you were–"
Hanma steps in front of you, blocking you effectively from him.
"You don't get to talk to her," Hanma states rather bluntly.
Asahi turns to him, lips parting.
"You're not worthy enough to talk to her, pipsqueak. So let's keep this between you and me, huh?"
The air changes, thickens, and although you can't see it, you can practically sense as Asahi grows nervous, registering the glint in Hanma's gaze as he stares him down.
"I mean, surely, if you knew I was a... what did you say? Delinquent." Hanma snorts, "you think you'd have the brains to realize I'm not someone to mess with. And I don't take kindly to idiots like you trying to tell me who my girl should or shouldn't be with."
Hanma takes a step forward then, towering over the boy whose skin has grown pale, eyes flooding with fear as he stares up at Hanma.
"I especially don't take kindly to you scaring my girl either."
"I-I–"
Grabbing Asahi by the collar of his jacket, Asahi falls silent as Hanma pulls him up until he's standing on the tip of his toes, kicking his feet beneath him.
"But it seems I screwed up too, huh? My girl shouldn't have to be afraid because she should know I'd never let anyone touch her, let alone look at her if they made her uncomfortable."
There's a pause and Hanma's gaze grows wild as his fist slowly raises beside him, Asahi's cries of panic and pleads of mercy simply a background noise.
"So it looks like I gotta show her why."
BAJI:
"You're loud."
Well, Baji guessed he couldn't necessarily argue with that.
"You're rash."
That, too... maybe.
"You're not very smart."
Uh, ouch.
"You act without thinking. It could get Y/N hurt."
Okay, well that was just rude.
You were always Baji's top priority.
Well, that and fighting. But, still.
"I think I'd be a much better fit for her."
Baji should've figured this is where the conversation was going. Letting his eyes drift across the boy stood in front of him, he takes in the sight of his Toman uniform. He doesn't readily recognize the boy, so he's certainly not in his division.
Ballsy, he'd admit.
But stupid nonetheless.
He's probably in Mitsuya's division, Baji laughs to himself.
Well, not for much longer.
"I'll take your silence as a sign you agree with me–"
"I wouldn't jump to conclusions," Baji chuckles, grinning down widely at the boy. "What makes you think you're so great for Y/N? I know she's happy with me."
Lips parting, the boy pauses; "what?"
"You listed off all the reasons why you think I'm not a good fit for her, right?" He quirks a brow, and the boy nods. "So, tell me why you think you're a good match for her. You win, I'll break up with Y/N. And if you lose... well, needless to say." With a wide grin, Baji cracks his knuckles, baring his fists down at the boy.
The boys eyes widen, and he fumbles for a second, before he steels himself, inhaling deeply.
"Well, I'm smart, for one–"
"Wrong," Baji cuts in, "Y/N doesn't like smart guys. Why else would she have gone for me?"
Faltering, the boy shakes his head; "w-well, I'm a good cook–"
"Y/N prefers cooking herself," Baji shakes his head. "It's her passion."
Cheeks redenning, the boy rushes to add; "I-I'm! I'm strong!"
Baji just laughs; "not as strong as me. You're not even a vice captain of Toman!"
Thoroughly embarrassed, the boy hesitates, face bright red.
"Looks like you lose," Baji sings, stepping towards the boy. "I mean, if you really knew Y/N, you'd know the most important thing."
"W-What?"
"That none of that matters because she loves me!"
"You can't just–"
He never finishes what he's about to say before a fist makes contact with his cheek, knocking him off his feet and sending him straight to the ground.
Baji glances down at him with a blink.
"Strong my ass."
He makes a move toward him, before;
"Keisuke!"
Eyes lighting up, Baji spins, grinning at the sight of you. "Y/N!"
You fall in front of him, eyes flickering from the boy groaning on the ground back to him, "did you get in another fight again?"
Baji shrugs; "the guy deserved it. Not much of a fight either.”
And your eyes fall back on the boy on the ground and there's a flicker of hope where he thinks you might help but, but then after a moment you follow Baji's lead, shrugging, letting him take your hand in his before leading him off.
Guess Baji was right – you really did love him.
KAZUTORA:
"I mean, didn't you go to juvie?"
Frowning, Kazutora glares at the man, Daiki as he'd introduced himself as, in front of him. He was apparently a co-worker of yours, though Kazutora's never heard you talk about him before.
Stuck at this party your work was holding for you as a celebration for the promotion you'd received and your excellent work at the company, Kazutora had gotten a whole half hour of your time before you'd been whisked off by two woman, you offering an apologetic smile over your shoulder in response.
At the time, Kazutora hadn't minded – this night was for you after all and he wanted you to enjoy it.
Now, though? He desperately wanted to leave.
"How do you even know that?" Kazutora asks, his patience thin.
"I did some research when Y/N mentioned your name," Daiki shrugs. "Of course, when she mentioned you she hadn't mentioned that."
It's obviously meant as a jab. But Kazutora knew you weren't embarrassed of him – at least, he'd been pretty sure of that.
"Well, it's not really any of your business is it?" Kazutora cuts in, barely able to contain the snide in his tone. He barely liked socializing with people anyway, especially strangers, but he'd gone for you and because he wanted to be apart of your celebration. It was the least he could do after all you'd done for him.
But now he wishes he’d stayed home if he had to continue dealing with this guy.
"Still," Daiki insists, "aren't you embarrassed? I mean, such an upstanding woman... it's a wonder why she ever chose you."
"I chose him because I love him for him," you cut in and Kazutora’s eyes widen, glancing over his shoulder to see you making your way over to him. You look absolutely stunning, dressed in a floor length Y/F/C dress and when you notice his eyes on you, you smile at him, before it falters as you turn back to glance at your coworker. "But I hardly think that's any of your business anyways."
You fall next to Kazutora, wrapping your arm around his waist as you fall into his side, and the second you do, you squeeze Kazutora's side, and he realizes you're trying to reassure him.
"Y/N–!"
"Honestly, Daiki," you breathe out, voice coming out purposely exasperated as you roll your eyes. "I've had this conversation with you multiple times. I am happily in a relationship and your obsession with my personal affairs is strange and inappropriate. Given my promotion, I could easily have you fired."
Kazutora watches as the man's eyes widen, cheeks bleeding red as he shakes his head; "my-my apologies. Please, you don't have to go that far. I'll... I'll make sure I stop."
You raise a brow, holding the man with bated breath for a moment, before you nod. "Just don't let it happen again."
Daiki scurries off without another word, desperate to get away and Kazutora watches as you let out a sigh, shoulders falling as you shift, coming to stand in front of him, hands falling on his hips.
"I'm sorry about him. He's been... annoyingly persistant about asking me out for the past bit. I thought he'd have stopped when I reported him last week but when I saw him talking to you just now, I realized he hadn't."
Kazutora glances down at you, meeting your gaze.
You understand what he's trying to say before he even does; "nuh-uh," you shake your head, tugging him closer to you. "Don't let a word that idiot says get to you. He's just a pervert anyways. He spends half of his time looking down my shirt and I would never want to be with someone like him over you."
Biting his lips, Kazutora smiles softly; "I love you."
"I love you too," you grin, before slipping your hand into his. "Now, come on, I want to introduce you to my friends."
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ventique18 · 1 month
Text
~ Thoughtless ~
Somehow you feel it. Maybe you're just letting things get to your head, but maybe. Just maybe.
Malleus is in love with you.
How can you not think that, when he comes by to see you almost everyday, or when he sometimes finds himself thoughtlessly tucking a stray hair away from your face. When his hands would naturally find their way to rest on your hip while you're busy baking something, and he would curiously watch from behind?
So when he carelessly lays his head on your lap one lazy afternoon, you find yourself blurting out "I think I'm in love with you." Just as naturally as is his intimacy is towards you.
He doesn't speak. Doesn't even laugh. He just thoughtlessly pulls you down and, clumsy and mismatched as they are, lets your lips wordlessly do the talking.
You're over the moon. How could you not be, when a person you thought was beyond your reach is hopelessly in love with you just as you are with him? You'll be spending your time as a couple from now on. Going on romantic dates together, greeting each other first thing in the morning, getting to know each other in a much, much more familiar depth. Maybe even considering... marriage.
There's an infinite things that you want to do with him. So many things that make you happy. You're happy.
... Until...
"I wonder what bouquet my betrothed prefers for our coming wedding?"
You overhear him as he strolls with Lilia.
Betrothed? As in, someone you promised to marry? He did say wedding.
What the hell.
He's already engaged to someone? And he still kissed you so passionately like that? All along, he was already meant to marry somebody else while he's fooling around touching you here and there, kissing you and pecking you and hugging you and... Is that why he didn't say he loved you when you confessed? He's just leading you on because he's bored?
That son of a--
Tears. Ugly tears. You scream furiously and cry miserably as you strangle and punt and wrangle your poor pillow at Ramshackle. Your best friends watch silently while they try to coax you with your favorite food and your favorite zero-substance comedy film. It works. Your mood lightens.
Until they go home, and he barges into your home with grin you wanted to sucker-punch off his ugly, cheating, demonic, monstrosity of a lying face.
"Why are you here?" You spit out.
His thick, slimy skin couldn't taste the venom in your words.
"Good evening," he giddily greets as he walks over to you-- almost prancing for god's sake, "I was wondering. What type of flowers do you like?"
"The hell are you on about? You think you can keep stringing me around? I'll fuck you up."
"Careful. I am exercising a deep self-restraint out of respect for you. But if you keep playing with me like this, telling jokes about 'fucking me'-- as people say nowadays-- I might truly end up debauching the sanctity of marriage."
You leer at him. What the hell is he yapping about?
"Fuck?"
He sits on the sofa beside you; as graceful as he always seems to be. No, actually. He sits as ugly as a bridge troll. "I see you are impatient. Truth be told, I am too. But we best wait until after graduation, at least. So before then, I would like to ask: what flowers would you prefer for our wedding? I rather wish to grow them myself."
"Our wed--"
And it clicks in your head.
'My betrothed.'
'What flowers would you like?'
'Our wedding.'
It's you. The betrothed is you.
You almost laugh out loud. Out of the silliness of it all, out of embarrassment perhaps, even out of relief. This guy. God, this guy. What a careless, thoughtless, whimsical, nonsensical, brainless guy. But somehow,
"I like wisteria."
It's just, so naturally, him.
"The flowers in full bloom when we first met."
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niabang · 1 month
Text
Peaceful Arguments
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Pairings: Bangchan × fem reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Summary: You and your boyfriend got into a huge fight and you have a "special" way of reconciling.
Warnings: smut included (Minors dni). Hard dom/possessive chan, angst, angry/makeup sex, bratty sub reader, overstim/edging, unprotected sex (don't be silly wrap your willy.) Drew inspiration from Chan's bbl messages if you can tell hahaha.
More under the cut!!
Well, this honeymoon phase ended pretty quickly. How did you and your boyfriend go from finding everything adorable and cute to fighting every now and then?
You could still live with it. It was just the usual couple bickering, and it always ended with you bent over the kitchen counter or squirming under your boyfriend, so a win was a win for you.
But it never got this bad. This time, voices were raised, and insults were bouncing off the walls of your apartment.
"Y/n, I don't have time for this. Just leave me alone." Your boyfriend Chan said standing right in front of you.
"What do you mean you don't have time for this when you started it!?" Why was he pulling the victim card when he instigated this mess?
"What the fuck did I start y/n?" He was really acting innocent.
"Well, for starters, you pulled me out of a party and yelled at me in public, insinuating that i was cheating on you while you were right there? That was so embarrassing. You're being such an immature dick right now." You said.
"I'm immature? How did you expect me to react when you were basically fucking another guy just 10 inches away from me huh? Don't act stupid because I know you aren't." Okay, maybe the dance you shared with your former classmate did get a bit too intimate, but you shut it down once you saw he was getting the wrong idea.
Your boyfriend was kind of (really) overreacting right now.
"Did you just call me stupid?" You asked him cocking an eyebrow.
"Y/n I didn't call you stupid. I said, "Don't act like it." Use your head." Oh, he was actually calling you stupid.
"You're being so fucking dramatic right now Chan. You asked me who he was, and I told you he was a former classmate from high school. I told you that I fucking shut it down when I noticed he was getting the wrong message..."
"You yelled at me in PUBLIC Chan fucking hell I am not a child or your property I'm a grown woman who can think and speak for herself."
"Okay, then y/n go think for yourself into someone else's pants I don't want to have this conversation anymore." There was no way he was being serious.
"You are such an insecure bitch, I hate you so much. I can't stand you." You said.
"Then I'll leave then. Let's talk tomorrow because you're clearly confused." He turned and picked up his car keys from a tiny bowl on the kitchen island and proceeded to the door.
"No. Who said anything about tomorrow? Don't come back till you're ready to accept the fact that you're wrong and apologise to me." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.
"Now that's where you have it wrong. I won't be back until YOU apologise to me and cut off all contact with that guy whatshisface..." Wow, so you were both dropping ultimatums now okay.
"He has a name, and it's Brandon." You corrected him, and just at the perfectly wrong timing, you received a call, and it was Brandon. Chan took a look at your phone and laughed.
"Oh fuck off y/n." He walked out and closed the door behind him then you heard his car zoom off.
Good riddance.
You called Brandon back, and the poor guy was only calling to apologise for causing war between you and your boyfriend and even offered to speak to him on your behalf but you told him not to bother.
Not that it would even work. That would only make things worse between you and chan.
You slept it off and woke up the next day expecting to see texts and missed calls from your boyfriend, but you got nothing.
You were a bit hurt because part of you hoped that he would come crawling back, but you couldn't have everything you asked for. Could you?
It was 4 p.m. now, and you had successfully spent your day lazing about and binge watching a crappy sitcom on Netflix.
You missed your boyfriend. You really did, but you had to be strong because you knew you weren't the one in the wrong.
God, you were so pathetic. You hadn't even eaten all day because of a man, and it made you remember how mad he'd get if he realised that you were skipping meals and not taking care of yourself properly.
Life was so sickening without him (it had only been a day).
You decided you were going to make yourself a quick sandwich because you were already dying of heartbreak, and it'd be wrong to add hunger to your struggles.
6:30 p.m., you received a text from Chan saying he was coming over to pick up his stuff and added that you could throw them out if you wanted to.
He was so dramatic. You replied to him with a simple "fine" and turned off your phone.
You were just about to start making your sandwich when you heard a key turn in the lock.
He was here to pick up his stuff.
You were so happy to see him, but you had to keep your cool and act like you weren't because you didn't want to stroke his already inflated ego.
"Am I not going to get a hey or anything?" He said after he had come in and locked the door, but you completely ignored him and kept on eating your sandwich at the kitchen island.
"So you're ignoring me now, huh? You gon do me like that?" You still didn't pay any attention to him and kept munching on your sandwich.
You heard him scoff and watched him find his way into your once shared bedroom.
You shouldn't have looked up at him, though, because now you were horny. Did he really have to wear the grey sweatpants and compression shirt combo today? Of all days?
He was definitely doing this on purpose. He knew what he was doing, but no, you weren't going to give in.
He came out of the bedroom carrying his two suitcases and proceeded to the living area to pack up his console and the other things that accompany it.
You stood up from the chair you were eating on, and you were now leaning backwards with your elbows rested on the kitchen island.
You were watching his every move in silence.
You expected him to just finish packing his stuff and leave, but he stopped halfway, got up, and started walking towards you?
He came closer till there was only an inch of space between you two, and you had to crane your neck upwards to look at him.
"Baby, what are we even doing?" He said and your stomach did a thousand flips.
"I don't know you tell me." You were determined not to fold today.
"What do I have to do to make you come back to me." He sighed and placed his hands on your hips. Fuck.
You placed your hands on his and took them off your hips, and widened the gap between you two a bit.
"Come on." He said in an almost whiny tone.
"Beg me." You didn't even think before you spoke, but that was the smartest thing you had said in a while.
Your boyfriend looked at you unbelievably and scoffed at you like there was no way he was going to do it.
"You can just pack up and leave if you aren't going to do it." You were doing so good.
"Okay, fine, you win." There was no way he was actually agreeing to this.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry for being an insecure and immature boyfriend. I acted like a dick and I was in the wrong but it's been hell without my girl and I miss her so fucking much my heart hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts and I can't even think straight it feels like the walls are closing in on me and I'm going to stop breathing at any second..."
"Bro, okay, I accept. Stop being a drama queen." You said half laughing at your boyfriend.
"Does that mean I can kiss you now?" He asked.
"Say, please." Maybe you just wanted to hear him beg a tiny bit more.
"Please y/n can I kiss you, please?" He was surprisingly playing along well.
"Ye-"
You felt his lips on yours before you could even finish your sentence. Oh God, you missed this. You missed him.
You guys were kissing each other so hungrily with tongues gliding in and out of each other's mouths. You could feel his hard on against you and you wanted nothing more than for him to fuck you.
Chan bit your lower lip, and you felt him smile against your lips when you let out a moan. He was so damn cocky.
You started to undo the strings to his pants, but when he realised what you were doing, he broke the kiss and moved away from you.
You were slightly (very) confused as to why he did that, and you're pretty sure you whined as he broke contact between you two.
He looked at you up and down and bit his lip.
"When did you get this skirt? Is it new?"
You looked down at what you were wearing and it was even too short to be called a skirt but you were at home so who cares?
"It's not new. I've had it for years, but I stopped wearing it because it got too short." Why were you guys talking about clothes when he could be breaking your back right now?
"I want to be rough with you." Oh, you were so back.
"Then be rough with me." You replied, looking straight into his eyes.
"Fuck." Chan said. Before you could even say anything else, you were being hoisted up onto the kitchen island, and chan went back to devouring your lips.
He went down to your neck with a hunger, and your hands went into his hair. He was definitely leaving marks on your skin.
You were moaning his name uncontrollably, and you guys hadn't even gotten started yet. Maybe absence does really make the heart grow fonder.
He stopped kissing you once again, but this time, he was giving instructions.
"Get down and take off your clothes." You got down immediately and started to comply, but he stopped you when you got to the skirt.
"No, not that. I want to fuck you in it." You died a little at that statement.
"Take off your panties." He said.
"I'm not wearing any." You're a 100% sure you saw his eyes darken at that statement.
"Okay, turn around and rest on the island." You complied without saying a word.
Your cheeks were met with the cold marble and you could feel your ass and pussy completely exposed to him.
You felt chan come closer to you, and you let out a moan when he started to rub his dick in between your folds teasing your entrance.
You thought he was finally going to fill you with his dick but instead, you were met with a hard slap on your ass and you let out the nastiest moan ever.
One slap turned into two, three turned into four, and your cheeks were stained with tears.
Chan gave you no time to collect yourself as he pushed himself inside you and thrusted agonisingly slowly to gain a rhythm.
You started whining from how slow he was going and as if he knew he started pounding into you as fast as he could.
He filled you so well it was like you were two pieces of a puzzle.
He was fucking you so well you were loosing your mind and your stamina.
Chan noticed and used one hand to steady you then continued his assault on your pussy.
You started feeling that familiar feeling in your stomach and you knew you were about to cum.
"Chan, please don't stop." You begged.
He, in fact, did not stop, but just as you were about to reach your high, he pulled out and left you an unsatisfied mess.
"Did you really think it was going to be that easy?" He asked you in the most condescending tone ever.
"You liked it when I acted all weak and nice, huh? Well, it's your turn now." Fuck. You should have known there was a catch.
He smacked your ass once again and your pussy clenched around nothing.
"Not so confident now, are you?" He taunted.
"Chan I'm sorry please just fuck me please." You begged hoping to make things better for yourself.
"What do you want?" He asked you.
"I want to cum chan please make me cum." You whined.
"You'll have to earn it because only good girls get to cum." He said that and went back to destroying your insides.
This man edged you not once but three times.
At this point, you were sobbing uncontrollably, and you were worn out.
"Who does this pussy belong to?" He asked while thrusting in and out of you at the speed of light.
"You Chan." You said through tears.
"Who do you belong to?" He asked.
"You chan." You struggled to get that last one out.
"That's my good girl." He said and finally let you cum. Your release hit you like a brick, and he came right after you, too. You felt so full that you were literally on cloud 9.
Chan lifted you from the island immediately after, turned you to face him, and gave you a kiss on your forehead.
"You know I love you, right?" He asked, and you nodded.
"Let's not fight anymore, okay?
"Okay." You answered, and he pulled you in for a hug.
You were so back!
You did lie about one thing, though. The makeup sex was too good for you guys to stop fighting.
There were many more fights to come.
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lihhelsing · 8 months
Text
Part 2
Unknown number: Hey
Steve is sitting on the couch, he has Top Gun playing in the background just because he wanted some noise. The house feels empty whenever Robin has a different shift than him.
The message comes from an unknown number and he just watches as the three dots appear. It’s probably someone trying to sell him something but he’s so bored all he can do is watch. 
When the message finally comes through, Steve feels his stomach dropping in surprise, a small rush coursing through him. 
Unknown Number: It’s Eddie. The guy who was rude to you for no good reason? You know, the one who thought you were being an asshole just to embarrass himself in front of the hottest guy he had ever seen? 
Unknown Number: God, I sound dumb. You probably don’t remember me but it’s Eddie. 
Steve remembers. Of course he does.
Unknown Number: Anyway. I’m making it worse, aren’t I? I just wanted to apologize. I can delete your number after this, but I felt like I owed you. You didn’t do anything wrong and I was a bitch. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone now. 
Steve doesn’t want to be left alone. Without thinking he dials the number. Feels like messages aren’t the best way to handle the situation. 
“Hi,” Eddie says a little out of breath after the third ring.
“Hey,” Steve says back. There’s a smile threatening to bloom on his face because Eddie sounds flustered and Steve kind of loves it. “Sorry I called.” 
“Sorry I messaged,” Eddie says back and Steve chuckles. 
“I’m glad you did,” he says and he swears Eddie’s breath hitches. 
“I’m glad you did, too.” 
Steve had been debating whether or not to message Eddie. He’d told the story to Robin and she laughed at his expense as usual, but then she shrugged and said Steve should let it go. It wasn’t his fault the guy got played and Steve shouldn’t feel guilty. 
He didn’t. He just really couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie. 
After a beat where neither of them says anything, Steve decides to tackle the elephant in the room.
"So, uh, I'm really sorry about the whole catfish thing. I don't know why someone would be this mean."
Eddie hums on the other side of the line and Steve thinks this is it, maybe he'll offer him an excuse and hang up and actually delete his number, but Eddie surprises him. 
"It's ok, you know. I should've suspected it, honestly. There's no way someone as hot as you would be interested in someone like me."
"You keep saying that and yet I remember giving you my number anyway," Steve says playfully. 
"Yeah, 'cause you were feeling sorry for me." Eddie says back and Steve actually scoffs. 
"Well, no. I actually thought you were pretty cute," Steve shrugs even though Eddie can't see him. He's never that forthcoming but there's something about Eddie that keeps pulling him in and he just wants to see where this is going. 
"Pretty cute, huh? I'll take it."
"I can tell you what else I thought when I first saw you over… Dinner?"
Eddie's laugh fills Steve's ear and it's a glorious sound. 
"You want to take me to dinner?"
"Yeah, of course. If, you know, it's not too weird. I know I'm not the person you thought you were talking to but maybe I can be cool too."
Eddie hums again and Steve thinks he's probably debating if it is too weird. He's also oddly curious about the whole thing but he has no idea if Eddie would want to talk about it. 
"Yeah, ok. We can do dinner."
Maybe he's going to find out. 
X
Steve has always been good at first dates, but this thing with Eddie doesn't really feel like a first date. 
After their awkward first call and Steve asking Eddie out on a date they just started texting. A lot. Because of Steve's crazy shifts at the coffee shop and Eddie's weird hours at the bar he worked on was kind of hard to find a time for their date, but it was like neither of them was in any rush for that. 
Steve discovered he was a little obsessed with finding out things about Eddie. Like how he always dreamed about becoming a rockstar but actually loved his job at the bar and creating different drinks and just getting to meet different people all the time. He also told Steve about his uncle, who he loved with all his heart, and how his dad had disappeared from his life right after his mother died. 
Talking to Eddie was easy in a way Steve had never known with anyone else and he really enjoyed it. He particularly liked the little night time routine they created. Steve would call Eddie whenever he got home, knowing Eddie was just getting ready to go to work, and they would talk, sometimes until Steve was fast asleep in his bed and Eddie was driving to the bar. 
But after a month, Steve is itching to see him. Even if it's just so the two could talk in person, he kind of wants to look at Eddie and take notes on all the little things about him like he'd done so many times with every picture Eddie had sent his way. 
So he calls Eddie and tells him Robin finally agreed to switch shifts with him next friday so they can go out. 
Steve leaves out the part where he had to promise to do her chores at the house for a month and had to make up some story about needing to see a doctor. She hadn't been budging whenever he said he wanted to go out on a date with Eddie because she kept telling him she couldn't miss her classes just because Steve wanted to get laid so, yeah, a little lie wouldn't hurt. 
"So, Friday. It's a date?" Steve asks a little nervously on the phone. He's already showered and is laying in bed with his hair dripping wet. Too excited to talk to Eddie to bother blowing out his hair. 
Eddie hesitates. Steve hears in the way his reply takes a minute to come. In a second he second guesses everything. Maybe Eddie had been talking to him just to realize Steve really wasn't the person he thought he was talking to. Maybe Eddie-
"Steve?" Eddie asks on the phone and Steve gets brought back to reality. "Sorry. Don't overthink this…"
Too late, Steve thinks. He says, "so it's a no on the date?"
"What?"
"You don't want to go on a date with me," he doesn't ask now. "It's fine, Eddie. It was worth a shot and it's fine if you realized you didn't-"
"Oh my god, will you shut up? Of course I want to go on a date with you. It's just… You know, I'm weird and messy and I talk too much and you're… You know. You."
"I'm… Nothing special."
"Now, you and I both know that's not true. I mean, you're hot. I won't lie, I started talking to you because I had never had a guy that hot talking to me and wanting something with me. But now I see you're so much more than that. I just… I don't want to disappoint you. What if you don't like me in person because I'm awkward and too skinny and talk too loudly and dress weird and-"
"Now you are overthinking this. I gave you my number and I asked you out on multiple occasions and I just… Really like talking to you. I would very much like talking to you in person over dinner. And then maybe inviting you over to my place so we could keep on talking, maybe. We could, uh… You know, fall asleep on the same bed for once."
Wow. Steve has no idea where all of that came from but he realizes he means it. 
Eddie's voice comes out a little strangled when he speaks, "Just sleep?"
Steve coughs, feels himself blushing. What is up with all that? Why is he suddenly acting like a high schooler? 
"So is that a yes on the date?"
"Yes, Steve. That's a yes on the date."
Previous | Next
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
Text
Wolfsburg
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Wolfsburg vs Bayern
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"If we keep our heads down," Magda mutters," We can pretend that she's not with us."
"Magda!"
You're walking ahead of your parents, practically skipping as you wear an old Wolfsburg Harder jersey. It's much too big for you so Pernille had to tuck it into your shorts this morning when you refused to wear anything else.
This match was all you'd been talking about for weeks, ever since you'd seen the fixture schedule for this month.
Even if you loved the Bayern jersey because it had red, it did not supersede your deep love for Wolfsburg.
It was slightly embarrassing and Magda stubbornly kept her head down as she headed out to inspect the pitch.
"Do my eyes deceive me," A voice that you used to be very familiar with says," Or is that the future of Wolfsburg?"
You grin. "Alex!"
Magda watches as Popp picks you up, spinning you around as Pajor appears over Pernille's shoulder.
"She's grown."
"Kids do that," Pernille laughs.
"She still supporting the right German club?"
"Unfortunately," Magda mutters.
"What position are we talking? We need to start training her up young."
"Goalkeeper," Pernille answers," Zećira's been training her for a while now."
Pajor laughs. "Then I'm sure she'll be great when she grows up."
Your hysterical giggle echo around the pitch as Popp turns you upside down and shakes you.
You stick by the Wolfsburg girls all throughout the pitch inspection and Magda has to actually drag you away when it's time to go in to change.
"I'm going to play for Wolfsburg one day," You tell Momma when she walks you out for warmups," Like you did."
Momma gently strokes the hair out of your face. "And I'm sure you will. Now, remember, you may support Wolfsburg but we're still Bayern so you can't celebrate too hard if they score a few goals, alright?"
You huff but agree.
Scottish Sam and Georgia laugh uncontrollably when you join them on the bench, happy in your Wolfsburg green.
"Don't be too sad when Wolfsburg loses," Georgia teases, ruffling your hair.
You shrug. "It's okay if they lose now," You say," Because when I play for them, they won't."
"Wow," Georgia says," Someone's sure of herself."
"I'm going to be really good," You reply earnestly, brows drawn together as if to stress how much you want this," Because Zećira is taking a lot of time to teach me and I don't want to let her down."
Georgia's face softens a fraction. "I think you're going to make her and your mums very proud."
You smile.
Georgia's right. Wolfsburg lose to Bayern but you're still in a good mood because it means Morsa and Momma are happy.
You let them both give you celebratory kisses but escape pretty quickly to see Alex and Ewa.
Ewa picks you up instantly, holding you on her hip as she and Alex speak with one of the Wolfsburg girls that joined after you and Momma left for England.
"I hear," Alex says," That you've started to collect jerseys."
You nod. "I got a Keira Walsh one at the world cup and I've got a Leah Williamson one on my wall."
"Wow," Ewa says," Have you got any more?"
"I do! My Tia Tana sent me ones for everyone on her team! And Daan gave me a Lyon one when I last saw her! Daan used to play for Arsenal before she moved to France, which is how I know her. I like Arsenal almost as much as I like Wolfsburg!"
Ewa laughs. "Good. Keep it that way. Wolfsburg's got to stay on top, right?"
"Uh-huh!"
Alex grins at you. "You know," She says, lowering her voice like she's telling you a secret," Pernille's jersey is kind of old."
You look down at it, tugging on the collar. "It's from when Momma used to play with you."
"I know," Alex says," How about we get you a new one?"
She grins at you and pulls her own shirt up and over her head.
"Really?"
"Come on, take it. I'll see you in it next time we meet, agreed?"
"Agreed!"
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webslingingslasher · 5 months
Note
hii!! can you do one where situationship!peter like yells at trouble or something along those lines or is like embarrassed to be seen w her (i jsut wanna read something angsty 😭😭)
no rush ofc!! hope u had a good new years 🎀
added these two asks together <3
what do u think that frat!peter would do if he made trouble cry, like it was his fault
-----
when peter got a congratulatory clap on his shoulder with a 'heard you got cuffed up. good for you, man.' he brushed it off. peter had a good guess on why someone made that connection, he's been a little handsy with you at parties, and on campus. it's a natural thought.
when peter got nudged by a member of another frat, and a 'congrats, bro. she's a hottie.' he felt confused.
the third time it happened, while at his own house, peter finally asked what was up. 'where did you hear that?' a punch to his arm, 'your chick. she's telling everyone you're her boyfriend.'
and that? it made his blood boil.
'she's lying, i'm not dating anyone.' the brother's eyebrows raised, 'oh. i mean, i guess she told ja-' peter spoke up louder, 'she's a fucking liar.' the brother leaves it alone.
peter was almost pacing his floor while waiting for you. you've brought it up a thousand times, he's made his opinion very clear, and yet you're going behind his back and telling everyone he's the one thing he's not.
you don't notice his distaste, reaching out for a kiss you're dodged. peter wants to scoff at your pout, no wonder you feel sad, your boyfriend refused your touch.
'anything you wanna tell me, trouble?'
you're immediately taken back by his tone. 'anything that might get back to me?' you have a sinking feeling you know what it's about, you didn't know it would be whispered about, but you should've.
but, you won't put your foot in your mouth yet. 'i don't think so.' peter lets out a dry laugh, 'no? there's nothing that you did that makes you look fucking crazy?'
you swallow hard, is that what he thought of you? if so, he's wrong. 'i'm not crazy.' peter throws his hands up, 'really? okay, let's see if we can figure this one out together. i'm not your boyfriend, but apparently you're telling people i am. is that supposed to make you look sane?'
it's downright mean. 'you're being very condescending right now, peter. i don't like it.' peter's loud with his next sentence. 'just how i don't like being called your fucking boyfriend?'
your world comes crashing down. how could he be so brutal with such ease. it's so harsh you can't swallow back your emotions.
tears blot at your eyes while your lower lip trembles. 'is the idea of being with me that bad?' peter feels as crushed as you look. once it starts you can't stop, and to break down in front of peter, after he just called you fucking crazy, makes you dehumanize yourself.
you huff small breaths and try to wipe away the tears as they fall. you struggle to say your words without pausing to gasp. 'you didn't even... ask why.' it brings a new wave, he's being silent and you think it's over and final and you didn't get a chance to plead your case.
'i need... to leave.' you can't breathe, you can't even feel your feet when you move. you don't make it far because peter's in front of you and using his chest to back you up.
'alright, alright. just stop crying, okay?' peter doesn't know what to do because he's never actually made a girl cry that hard, or at least in his face, making him aware of his actions and how he could've tried to approach this in a calm way.
'you hate me,' you gasp, 'and you think i'm crazy,' another gasp, but this time you're scooped into his hold. 'stop. please, stop. please stop crying.' peter thinks if he squeezes you hard enough he could piece the parts he ruined back together.
'i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.' peter doesn't know what he wanted, but it wasn't a pleading apology coughed out between sobs. fuck, he was mean, wasn't he? 'stop it, trouble. just breathe, alright? it's done, okay?'
oh, peter's shit at this. you cry even harder, 'i know we are. i'm so sorry, i'll tell everyone i made it up and... and you-'
'we're not done. the conversation is done. just please stop fucking crying.' peter can't stress it enough because he feels so guilty he's about to start crying in solidarity.
'no! not until, not until you hear-'
'i'm not going to listen to anything until you can say three words without holding your breath.' it's useless, 'i think i'm dying.' you don't know how, but you're held even tighter to his chest, 'you're not dying. you're upset because i said mean things.'
you're able to take a deep breath, it feels good. 'you did.' peter can finally relax, you're not on the verge of passing out anymore. 'i know. i was really mean, wasn't i?'
'yeah.' fuck, he really, really hates how miserable he made you. peter cares about you, it's the one thing he makes sure to tell you, but he doesn't think you talk to the people you care about that way.
'i promise i'm not crazy, i just-'
'you're not crazy and i should've never said that.' you try to keep your face tilted down when peter pulled back, but he was adamant on having you look at him.
'i'm so sorry, okay? i was caught off guard by all these comments today and i took it out on you. you're right, i should've asked why. but i didn't, and i'm sorry.'
'jackson ruth got all weird and touchy at his party last week and i just blurted out that you were my boyfriend so he'd leave me alone and i swear i didn't mean for him to have it spread.'
you hate that you made him ashamed, maybe you said that part out loud too because you think you saw something break inside his eyes.
peter softly cups your face, any stray droplets cleared with a brush of his thumbs under your eyes. 'i'm not ashamed of you, i'd never be ashamed of you. you're my baby.'
hook, line, and sinker.
'you are always allowed to use my name if you need to, i promise. i was a dick and i made you cry and now i feel like shit that i made you feel like shit, and now i feel even shitter because i'm somehow making this about me.'
you wrap your hands around his, you'd rather him keep his hold. you feel special. 'do you mean it?' peter nods softly, he leans down for a kiss. it's warming, your chest blossoms wide.
if you were fucking crazy, hypothetically, you'd claim the accusation boldly when he says 'on everything i love.'
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irisintheafterglow · 8 months
Text
the first time you tell opla!zoro that you love him, you're not sober either. (part one here!)
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"i just-i just don't know what to do," you sniffle, another wave of emotions leaking through your tired eyes and onto your tear-stained shirt. "i'm so in love with him it makes me physically ill, nami."
"mhmm, i can tell," she replies absentmindedly, taking another sip from her drink in the musty light of the bar.
"nami," you plead, wasted out of your mind with your cheek pressed against the dirty table.
"sweetheart," she replies with the same melodrama, unable to hide the amusement in her voice.
"i'm so sad." your voice breaks on the last word and you make a loud hiccup-like noise that has the other guests of the bar eyeing you warily. you couldn't guess how long it'd been since you dragged nami from her hammock to go drink your sorrows away. to her credit, she stayed with you until her patience was thinner than a paper cut.
"i know you are," she says slowly after you'd gone over the same topic about four times in the last five minutes. "look, i feel like you should just tell him. he already told you his feelings."
"see, but that's the thing." she shoots you a skeptical look and you sigh back at her. "what if he's lying? or if he didn't actually mean it?"
"why would he lie about something so significant as that?"
"i don't know, maybe he thought i was someone else-"
"from what you've very thoroughly informed me, he expressed his feelings for you, and only you," she reminds you, tilting her glass toward you for emphasis. her gaze flicks up behind you and she raises her eyebrows briefly, like whoever was approaching was another tool for her entertainment. "tell him. it's now or never."
"what the hell do you-"
"you're out of your mind if you think it's okay to get them drunk before a mission." his voice immediately sobers you, white-hot shame coursing through your veins as you sit up and try to make yourself look presentable. thankfully, he's glaring daggers into nami, who merely shrugs and offers something about being here for a good time, not a long time. "c'mon, i'm taking you back to the ship," he mutters, lifting you from your seat and letting you grab his unfairly strong bicep for stability.
"why'd you come get me?" your steps wobble slightly on the cobblestone, but zoro's determination to keep you upright is unwavering. "i could have gone home with nami."
"i got worried about where you were. thought something happened."
"nothing happened except alcohol and feelings," you drawl absentmindedly, the airy feeling in your mind becoming fuzzier the longer you're with him.
"ah, two of my favorite things."
"liar, you only talk about your feelings when you're drunk." blinking slowly to recenter yourself, you cut him off before he can counter your accusation. "like, the other night. when you told me you loved me." the words slip out unplanned and his body becomes deathly still next to you, his arm so tense you could mine it with a pickaxe.
"i said...what?"
"that you loved me and that it was a secret," you say plainly, glancing at him to find his face a nearly imperceptible shade of pink. "what's with the blush?"
"it's nothing," he says quietly. sober you would have left the conversation at that, respecting his need for privacy and security about his private feelings.
drunk you, however, has no such manners.
"look at you, all red and shit." his ears become an even deeper shade of pink and you can't help laughing at his poor attempt to hide his embarrassment. "you wouldn't be so flushed if it was actually nothing, so what is it?"
"it's nothing," he restates. "it doesn't matter."
"it matters to me. you matter to me." his face feels like it's been set on fire and every place your body is making contact with his feels like an electric current. did you have any idea what your words were doing to him, he wondered. sure, what you said made his brain go foggy like the island coastline in the morning, but what you made him feel was so much worse. you made him feel so lovesick, it pained him.
"the sentiment is reciprocated," he murmurs low enough that you can barely hear him. even while you're dancing around in the streetlights, you've never looked so beautiful to him.
"can i tell you a secret?" he swallows thickly, unsure of how to continue navigating this situation. he settles for nodding, every movement restrained to keep from kissing you until the only oxygen in his lungs has gone through yours first. "you can't tell anyone, though."
"i'm a great secret keeper."
"no, you're not," you reply instantly and his mouth gapes indignantly. "you told me your biggest secret and you don't even remember it."
"fine. i won't tell anyone what you tell me, then. i don't know about anyone else," he promises. after what seemed like an eternity, he finally helps you into your hammock, taking great care to make sure you don't fall out. "if i do tell someone, you can kick me in the balls."
"enticing offer," you laugh and his mouth quirks in a half-smile that you only saw once in a blue moon.
"so, the secret?"
"oh, right," you whisper sleepily. "the secret is that i love you too. i love you so much that i want to throw up."
"i think that might be the alcohol, doll," he murmurs, his fingers gently brushing your cheek. "sober you and sober me need to have a long talk in the morning."
"we said that last time but didn't do shit about it."
"well, i think it's time i did something about it." your eyebrows furrow, completely forgetting anything you'd just talked about. it's okay, he figures. he'll show you how much you mean to him when you're both ready.
"did something about what?"
"how much i love you, too."
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if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
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kleewie · 5 months
Text
i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you (and i)
summary: dating tip? just don't. for celebrities, romantic relationships are absolutely forbidden. the slightest hint of one could ruin your career. but are you even listening to the lecture? doubt it, 'cause you're doing the complete opposite. (alternatively, a celebrity au featuring secret relationships.)
→ featuring: childe, & ayato (you can really tell who my faves are)
→ warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, slight cursing, established relationship, mentions of alcohol and drinking, tension, actual cursing, unreliable reader pov, gender-neutral reader (i apologize if i missed things, i haven't proofread it yet)
→ a/n: so, hi! long time no see? i was pretty stressed with college and well, i'm back! i began writing this last year and finally got the courage to finish it. but here it is and i hope you enjoy it :> please let me know if you like it <3 it really makes my day!
credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts!
beware, lengthy post ahead! more under the cut!
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the debut.
“forbidden?” you repeat.
“absolutely forbidden!” your manager says. “a rookie with no fanbase? a scandal will ruin your reputation! you're absolutely forbidden from dating anyone.”
you sigh. he's being too overdramatic.
you will never be in a relationship, you're absolutely sure. how can you? with no time for yourself as it is, dating someone with the limited hours you already have sounds impractical.
besides, you're too busy training and practicing for auditions.
remembering it now, you want to laugh.
i told you so, your thoughts chastise.
god, you should've listened.
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childe, the actor
“that's a wrap!” the director cheers.
your eyes glisten as you hold back tears. it's embarrassing, you think. so damn embarrassing.
you've been repeating the same kissing scene multiple times now. obviously, the director cheers for finally completing the take and not because you did a good job.
childe pats your back. “you did great,” he says, with a smile.
but you know the gesture so goddamn well. the same nonchalant cold grin he throws at everyone that he now directs at you? oh, he's angry alright.
for what reason? who knows. you're too busy wallowing in self-despair over how terrible your acting is.
the scene is supposedly simple. it involves the second lead, who happens to be you, confessing their love to the leading man, resulting to a spontaneous kiss.
yet, you're fumbling over the lines, acting so out of character, tripping over set, incorrectly initiating the kiss at awkward angles—the whole time-wasting squander.
“what's going on?” childe eventually asks, once he arrives at your shared apartment. his bag drops to the floor with a flop. “you're acting strange. the entire crew sees it, i see it, the director sees it—what if he decides to fire you? what will you do then?”
you swallow dryly. you left the set early hoping childe's hectic schedule prompted him to forget the whole issue. yet, here he is finally bringing up the conversation after what feels like a month's worth of tension.
as you sit on the sofa chair, your fingers massage the bridge of your nose. breathe in, breathe out. you repeat. don't cry. you try to calm yourself down as a sob tries to break through.
eight months, you've been a couple.
but, there are some things you're afraid to say.
each year, the biggest tabloid newspaper in the country releases an article on celebrity dating scandals. a month ago they released one single page article about a popular actor dating a newbie actress. it barely had any juicy details, just a simple paragraph of a somebody dating a nobody.
yet, it did not end well for them. and you're terrified; for when it could happen to you.
you imagine it. dozens of messages and multiple missed phone calls on your cell as your name becomes the next talk of the town. the headline reads: revealed! a nobody actress, the second-lead from the northland bank saga currently dates the nation's boyfriend, childe!
it terrifies you. you could lose your job. lose what you love doing the most. and you could get tossed aside like an old sweater under someone's bed, left to rot and decompose.
so, yes. you hesitated earlier at set because you don't want anyone to connect the dots. to look at the kiss between you two and notice something amiss. to speculate that there's more to your relationship than what meets the eye. to realize you look at him as more than a co-star. to see how much you're in love with him. to realize the both of you are dating.
“it's not easy.” you say, releasing a sigh.
two years you've been in the business. rookies barely get any roles as it is. being in a well-received rendition of an old romance drama is a once in a blue moon opportunity and you can't risk someone finding out about your relationship.
“camera shy? no—you've kissed heaps of actors for that school drama.”
you mumble, “two people aren't heaps of actors, tartaglia.”
“then what is the problem?”
childe saunters to where you sit. he leans towards you and presses his palm on the head of the sofa, trapping your body between his and the chair. childe's eyes meet yours and you instantly look away.
he knows you well enough to comprehend that look on your face. the way you hide your clammy hands behind you, the manner of your eyes staring only at your feet, how your body tucks itself into the corner of the seat.
“me?” childe whispers.
he places a hand under your jaw. his thumb softly pushes your chin upwards so your eyes meet his.
“why?” he pleads.
“you won't understand.”
“i will if you tell me,” he says, holding your gaze. seeing how you relentlessly persist on keeping your mouth shut, he shakes his head. “oh, please tell me.”
you hesitate. you tell him and then what?
you could say: hey, childe! i'm afraid of our relationship being discovered. i'll be hated by your fans. you'll be constantly drained by my crying and whining. your reputation would take a hit regardless of how popular you are and—and then he'll finally realize how exhausting and annoying it is being with you.
your self-deprecation loves to pull you deeper into its sapping embrace. you're nothing, it mouths. childe would dump you and find some other actor or actress to date. god. it would be so easy. with his popularity, good looks, and charming personality, he'd find a better and talented rising-star the moment he chucks you out the front door.
so, you shake your head firmly.
“tell me, please.” he whispers.
you cross your arms, and look away.
“are you sick?”
you shake your head.
“somebody hurting you on set?”
again, you shake your head.
childe pauses, “...do you have feelings for someone else?”
“no!”
“then what is the damn problem?”
“nothing!” you exasperate, furrowing your brows together.
childe takes your reluctance as distrust and it ignites his irritation. do you not trust him? is he that insignificant to you? what are you hiding? hell, did you fall for the main lead of the show, zhongli? or do you not love him anymore? god, he can feel himself suffocate in resentment.
is he so unimportant that you'd prefer to keep the problem to yourself? it makes his blood boil; how he'd do anything for you, but you'd rather keep it to yourself and suffer alone.
“tell me.” childe scowls as he watches your lips quiver.
you keep your mouth firmly shut.
“fine, hold your tongue.” he sneers, “i understand. i really do, baby. it's not about the cameras, the flashing lights, the audience.”
childe brushes his lips against yours, “you wouldn’t kiss me like that in public, though, would you?” he releases his hold on your chin and his sharp eyes meet yours. “it’s only behind closed doors when you care to act like we’re each other’s.”
with a hooded jacket in one hand and a face mask in another, childe swiftly leaves the apartment with a slam of a door.
leaving you alone with your wretched thoughts.
more under the cut!
despite walking out the flat hours ago, childe still reverberates jealousy and anger; pure envy at how normal you act around everyone else yet, around him you're too guarded; and angry at himself for saying those awful words to your face.
he smacks his forehead on the steering wheel. childe acknowledges how childish he's been acting. you aren't ready to talk, and he shouldn't be forcing you to speak out your difficulties.
surely, the stress is piling up on you. he knows the hours you've been working on set, memorizing lines, practicing moves—again, he thumps his head on the wheel.
stupid, he curses. control your damn temper next time.
he reaches for the box of blueberry cheesecake on the front passenger seat. subconsciously, he drove two hours (and back) to the bakery's main branch as its side branches were sold out of your favorite cake. and he knows how much you love the pastry.
however, his body slouches in the parked car outside the apartment. the long drive works miracles with his anger, but the courage to actually walk inside and apologize never comes.
the ding of a text draws his attention. ‘go inside and beg for forgiveness, brat.’ yoimiya, a fellow actress from the same company as him, says. the woman is always in the loop and well-informed.
a shiver goes down his spine. if you told yoimiya about the argument, he's absolutely sure you're furious. you'd only speak to her as a last-ditch effort; knowing her personality she'd pummel him to bits while you watch.
as a result, he stands inside the apartment, one hand knocking on your bedroom door. however, instead of tasting blood, he hears your stifled sobs. the abrupt sound convinces him to turn the knob and enter the room.
the illumination from the hallway brightens the bedroom, shining a bit of light on your face. you lay on the bed with your knees to your chest, with a blanket over your waist. your reddened cheeks and tear-stained eyes makes his stomach churn.
“please don't cry, baby.” childe cooes, kneeling by your bedside. he leans over you, his fingers gently grip your cheeks. “i'm so sorry.”
the sudden apology sprouts pools from your eyes. his thumbs brush the water off your face and softly says, “i shouldn't have said—please, don't cry. it's my fault for taking my anger out on you.”
“i'm afraid of losing you,” you whimper. “if they find out—oh god—they'll tear me apart. i'm nothing compared to you. i'd lose everything. i might even lose you—”
“never, i will never leave you. no matter what happens,” childe interjects.
you furrow your brows, sobbing. “i'm no one—too difficult,” you hiccup. “you'll throw me away. i'm too whiny and too draining. if they find out... you'll see all the comments about how ugly—”
“breathe, baby.” he settles himself on your bed and softly places you on his lap. “you're gorgeous. you're not draining, and frankly, you're cute when you whine.”
you bury your face into his neck and continue, “i'm serious, childe. you'll get exhausted. the articles will talk about you too!”
“articles, mhm. they're just articles.” he hums.
irritation begins to set in. was he this clueless? you release another sob, “they're not just articles. they'll nitpick every single thing you do! oh—look at this newbie getting together with childe. oh, they suck at acting! why is childe even—”
childe gently places his palm on your neck, coaxing you to meet his gaze. “are you talking about the tabloid from last month?”
you sigh, “what else am i talking about?” and instantly you sense his laughter resonate. “are you laughing?”
“you're adorable, baby.” he breathes, nuzzling his face on your neck.
“you're making fun of me! what the hell, childe?”
he releases a sigh, pausing his laughter. “the tabloids every month. they're paid. companies pay them to talk about their idols for publicity.”
your face contorts into confusion, “who would willingly—they talked about lumine all month because of the article! you know she's my favorite actress. why would they willingly put her on the spotlight like that?”
“publicity, baby.”
you shake your head, “it makes no sense.”
“oh, it does.” childe hums. “of course, they'd seek permission first. it boosted views for her drama, didn't it? lumine did say she got extra for the views and switched apartments.”
“yeah, wait—you knew this whole time and didn't bother to tell me?”
he chuckles, “that's what you get for keeping these things to yourself for a month.” he squeezes the bridge of your nose.
“you're terrible.”
“love you too, baby.” he teases, “and besides, if a tabloid threatened to do something—” his thumb gently traces the skin around your neck. “—i'll keep you safe.”
a soft smile graces your features. “...i'm just not ready for anyone to find out. yet, anyway.”
childe hums, “we'll do it on your terms, okay? whenever you're ready.”
“sure, i guess you can keep me for a while longer. until you throw me away and find the next rookie to—”
childe's soft laughter sparks a flutter in your stomach. he would never do such a thing. the moment he first laid his eyes on you on set, heard your beautiful laugh between takes, listened to your jokes while practicing lines, and god, seen your angelic smile? the things he would do to keep you as his.
“never.” a cheeky grin appears on his lips, “i'll take care of you.”
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bonus: five years later
your phone rings. the vibration continues on and off, signaling multiple inbox messages. you swipe your phone to see texts from several of your close friends.
‘i know you told me you were okay with it, but i didn't think he'd try to do it so soon. i tried but he's too hardheaded.’ says yoimiya.
‘congratulations! when's the wedding? i'm kidding. don't kill childe.’ says thoma, an actor from your same company.
‘sorrows, sorrows, prayers.’ says venti, your current co-star.
you even receive a message from childe himself.
‘good morning, baby. i'm completely fault-free. simply honoring your wishes as a devoted fiancé should.’
attached to a message was a link to a video entitled: please don't kill me honey.
you click the link.
the video's blurry, as if taken by a cellphone. you recognize thoma as the person videoing the whole scene, as he turns the camera to face him before focusing it on a woman—seemingly a fan of childe. she wears merch from his most recent drama.
a fan goes on stage chosen by a random lottery draw. the said fan wins the chance to interview childe, who was the guest of the day for talk show, and ask one question.
the girl hastily walks on stage, holding a microphone given by staff.
“um. hello, childe!”
the audience screams as the huge video screen focuses on your lover's face. he waves a quick ‘hello’ and the crowd yells louder.
the girl hesitates, “are you dating anyone right now?”
childe twists the microphone in his hands. “hm? right now... i'm not dating anyone.”
the crows sighs in relief, utterly happy their favorite leading actor continues to be single.
but you see the outline of a smirk flashing on his face, and you instantly know there's a deeper meaning to that sentence. “but, it's difficult to say... since we're not really dating as of the moment.”
quietly, you hear the voice of yoimiya whispering, “don't do it.” the camera now focusing on her, trying to get herself on stage. thoma flips the camera around to face it on himself, waving a hello, apparently enjoying the drama. he then focuses the camera on the wide screen, featuring childe's face.
to add mayhem into the mix, childe continues, “i don't think being engaged to your partner falls under dating. we're way past that.”
the interview ends with the audience screaming their lungs out in disbelief, while childe's laugh resonates the whole auditorium.
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ayato, company director
“oh, them?” ayato's steady gaze meet yours, pressing his lips in a tight-lipped smile. “they're a friend of mine.”
friend. it echoes in your mind, repeating incessantly. friend. friend. friend.
dread creeps into the pit of your stomach akin to a quick flick of a lighter. after all this time, your stomach lurches. is that all he thinks of you?
god, you need a drink.
the businessmen before you smile, prompting you to return the favor. subsequently, you humbly introduce yourself as just an ‘actor in the industry’. and they laugh. of course they do.
who wouldn't know you? a multi award-winning movie and television star with piles of nominations. so modest, they say. so kind, they praise. you grin, the smile not reaching your eyes, thanking them for their compliments.
but you're so accustomed to their fake smiles, ingenuine flattery, and sweet talk; you never truly know what's actually honest and real—eyes flickering to your azure-haired partner—no, who's honest and real.
you swallow the thought down.
as if aware of the invisible daggers thrown his way, ayato's gaze meets yours. his lips are pressed firmly together, eyes devoid of warmth.
not now, his expression conveys.
you narrow your own eyes, irritation burning through your corneas. as much as you want to start an argument in front of his investors, you agree to his silent insistence. after all it's his gala; one he's tirelessly prepared for over several months.
so you bite your tongue and smile: one honed by years of acting—fake yet strangely genuine.
it's not strong enough. you say, sipping wine with shaky hands. earlier, you left ayato to his fellow businessmen using the excuse of needing a bathroom break, a reason to which he obliged.
you stare at the elaborate party before you, wishing you could go home. the gala swiftly dissolved your social battery, aided by forced mingling and bitterness. a friend, your consciousness repeats. always a friend. so you sit on a chair by the wall, sipping drinks like water.
suddenly, the hairs of your neck stand on end. you sense his presence behind you, prompting a glance through your peripheral vision.
“careful, darling.” ayato's says, tone smooth yet laced with warning. “i'd rather not have you collapsing. your lovely face wouldn't compliment these filthy floors.”
you tense immediately, shoulders stiffening. “reverting back to pet names, i see?”
ayato's hand now rests on your shoulder, his thumb brushing your soft skin. “what seems to be the issue? i doubt it's due to the eight glasses of wine you've consumed in one sitting.”
you roll your tongue in your mouth, practicing the words. let's break up. you bite your tongue. let's see other people. besides, he wouldn't care would he? it's not as if he's been acknowledging you as someone he's been dating, has he? hiding your relationship from his business partners is one thing, but concealing it from closest friends? his family? that's an entirely different matter altogether.
a friend, he says to his business partners.
a star from the company, he answers to his closest friends.
a companion, he whispers to his family.
you're sick and tired of it. all of it.
raising the wineglass to your lips, you drown the drink in one go. you raise two fingers signaling the waiter for another drink.
ayato sighs and you think you feel his hand on your neck tighten, ever so slightly. “you've reached your limit with wine, dear.”
soon, the waiter arrives with three more glasses on his tray. ayato's disapproving glare compels the waiter to scurry across the ballroom floor, steering clear of you.
you click your tongue and begin, “who says so?”
“your fiancé,” he mutters, voice dripping with venom.
you immediately scoff. “sure. for your sake, i'll pretend you mentioned that earlier.”
before ayato could retort, the presence of another individual calls his attention; his younger sister, ayaka.
“brother, the sangonomiya heir's requesting your presence.”
he sighs, irritation etching his features. yet, you blink, catching a subtle shift in his expression—seemingly twisting from annoyance to something resembling relief at the mention of sangonomiya's name.
you swallow the bitter thought.
“watch them for me, could you? i'd rather not have them find a server willing to disobey my instructions and serve them a drink,” ayato whispers, his tone betraying a hint of tension that doesn't go unnoticed.
ayaka nods. her consent prompts the older brother to depart, heading towards the misty rose-pink heir who stands at the opposite side of the ballroom.
ayaka says the inevitable, “you should let him know it bothers you.”
“...i'm not sure what you're referring to.”
her gaze follows yours, observing the giggling and cheerful countenances of the kamisato and sangonomiya heirs. they seem to be enjoying their time together. as always, you remark.
“they're just close friends, you know.”
you click your tongue. “like how him and i are just friends?”
ayaka sighs, understanding your implication. “you know what i mean.”
sangonomiya's hand on your partner's shoulder elicits an exasperated sigh from you. “thoma told me they were to be married if i wasn't here.”
“the man always running his mouth—” she takes a calming breath before continuing, “—but brother's very fond of you. i'm his sister, i should know.”
“then how come after dating him for five years, he still calls me his friend.” you pause, a hand sliding into the right pocket of your outfit. you absentmindedly play with the engagement ring inside. “i'm his fiancé, aren't i?”
“he has his reasons. petty reasons.”
you bite your tongue. or he's embarrassed of you.
you met the kamisato company heir two years after your debut as an idol. as you shifted towards acting, you developed a close relationship with his sister, a seasoned actress from the same company. eventually, she became the bridge that strengthened the bond between the two of you.
you dedicated yourself nonstop, evolving from a rookie actor to a multiple-nominee and winning star; all in the pursuit of being able to openly show off your relationship with ayato without it tarnishing your reputation.
however, when you're prepared to finally reveal your relationship, he isn't.
and it leaves you wondering, is there someone else?
you mean, you're hesitant to doubt the love of your life. but considering he's kept your relationship a secret from everyone for years, it's obvious he's adept at keeping things hidden.
even from you.
and the thought sours your mood.
excusing yourself once more to use the restroom, using the premise of consuming ten glasses of wine, you bid adieu to your favorite kamisato (at the moment). you instead head towards a secluded balcony away from prying eyes.
you stare at the garden below. your eyes quickly blink back the tears threatening to fall. not now, you hiss. don't do this to me, not right now.
“i assumed you would have retreated to your room by this point.” his voice murmurs, unnervingly composed.
you turn around to see your partner holding a glass of wine. his features remain blank, inscrutable.
maybe it's because of all the wine you've been drinking. you can't seem to tell between what's real or not.
“what did you discuss with kokomi?”
“i wasn't aware you were both on a first name basis.”
“answer the question.”
he smiles, “business as always.”
you huff and wrap your hands around your arms. “of course. just business.”
ayato immediately picks up the anger in your tone. he lays his palm on your forearm, gently pulling you towards him. “look at me,” he pleads, with a subtle trace of irritation in his voice.
you turn to look at his face, eyes glaring.
“i felt your glares the entire night.” he begins.
you shrug, smiling innocently. “...what ever do you mean?”
“don't toy with me, darling.”
as he enunciates his answer, it's as if the final thread of your patience snaps. does he still continue to feign innocence and lie to your face?
last month he proposed and you were overjoyed. you then expected a shift in your relationship; the final unveiling of your engagement to the public. you gave him your permission, a definitive “i'm ready for everyone to know.”
yet thirty days later the engagement remains concealed leaving only a few of his friends (thoma) and a few family members (ayaka) knowing about your updated relationship.
if it was the ayato from two years ago, he would be delighted—ecstatic even—to reveal the truth. he might have used the gala today as an avenue to scream to the world, this person and i are in love.
but he didn't.
so the weight of your feelings began to drag you down; it almost feels suffocating in a way. as if a ribbon labeled, he's ashamed, tightly winds around your insides, intricately tying them all together into a sophisticated bow sowing distrust whispering; he's hiding something.
your suspicions, coupled with his frequent visits this month to the sangonomiya estate, fueled your frustration until it erupted. if only he ceased pretending innocent, perhaps you would able to smile through the whole facade.
if only he didn't ask.
“i'm not naive. if you developed feelings for kokomi then you shouldn't have proposed.” you snap. “was it out of pity? did you feel so damn guilty that you chose to go through with the engagement instead of being honest about your feelings?”
ayato furrows his brows, mouth tightening in anger. “what are you talking about? i discuss private affairs with kokomi. business affairs.”
you laugh; one infused with irritation and disbelief. “don't tell me then. keep your stupid secrets.”
“do you want me to jot down a damn list detailing every single thing i do in a day?” he growls. “i won't divulge company secrets just because you feel like throwing a tantrum.”
your hands drift to the tie around his neck, tugging the crooked tie straight. “no. go ahead and keep your secrets.” you pause and roll the words with your tongue, “you're clearly very good at keeping secrets. you’ve kept me—us—as a secret for so long, so of course you’d be good at keeping fucking secrets.”
anger flares across his face. “you desired our relationship to remain a secret, and i respected your wishes.” he sneers, “i wanted to let the damn world know how much i'm in love with you yet, it was the opposite of what you desired.”
ayato releases his grip on you and strides back into the ballroom, but he halts right at the door to the balcony. “so don't dictate when i should reveal the truth simply because you've grown sick and tired of keeping me as your dirty, little secret.”
he finally departs; and you stay, tears pooling, with a profound ache in your heart.
ayato waltzes around the room in a nonchalant dance; yes, good to see you. he lies. how's business? he couldn't care less. enjoy the party! no, he wants everyone in the damn room to feel his wrath.
although he yearns to set the entire ballroom ablaze, ending the party prematurely would be ill-manned of him. so, ayato continues being a gracious and honorable host.
but he feels hollow. he envisions himself freezing the entire room in an icy gust, everyone turning into statues. he wants to sprint back into your arms and plead for you to listen.
he doesn't understand what came over him. why he lost his temper like that. typically, he'd manage your outbursts with composure and understanding. what happened? he doesn't know.
he attributes his outburst to the mounting pressure. the chronic lack of sleep and continuous exhaustion coming from his title as heir. perhaps it's the truth gnawing his skin; despite his powerful position atop the company, it can easily be ripped away with the flick of a wrist.
instead of spending time with his fiancé—he doesn't know if he still deserves to call you that, you probably threw away his ring the second he left the balcony—yet here he is, engaged in conversations with business associates he cares little about.
“brother?” ayaka calls. she finds him leaning against a railing of stairs. “i closed off the gardens.”
ayato swallows. he last saw you sneaking towards the grounds. “they're still on the grass?”
“yes.”
“they'll catch a cold.”
“they will.”
he glances at his sister. “they think i'm unfaithful.”
“i know,” she says matter-of-factly. “have you offered them any evidence to convince them otherwise?”
ayato stays silent.
“i know you care about them, brother.” ayaka sighs, “however, surprising them with a specially crafted ring and being petty when your entire relationship is at stake may not be the wisest move.”
he sighs.
“most especially if they suspect that your frequent visits to the sangonomiya manor are fueled by romantic feelings for its heiress, and not for their own wedding ring.”
after a while, ayato spots you lying on the grass in a starfish formation, having finally swallowed his pride. his eyes glaze over your features: red eyes, cheeks marked with tear stains, and an exhausted expression.
“can we talk?” he begins.
you spare a quick glance before turning your attention back to the night sky. “there's not much to talk about.”
“i'm not cheating,” he asserts.
“i know.”
“do you know, or have you resigned yourself to not knowing?”
“hm,” you hum. “a part of me entertains the thought of you cheating. yet an even smaller part absolutely knows that if you were truly cheating, you'd be more discreet. who, in their right mind, would inform thoma that you visited her manor?”
he chuckles, a laughter-less sound escapes him. “i understand i've been secretive. you have every right to assume i'm up to something indecent. but i have my reasons.” ayato confesses, kneeling beside your body. he places his hand inside his suit pocket, pulling up a black small box.
you instantly sit up. “you're horrible,” you cough, eyes widening as he opens the box to show a ring. “this entire time you were—god.”
“i placed a special order,” he mumbles. “i visited each day to ensure it was flawless, right down to the smallest details.”
“i'm so sorry.”
“don't be, love.” he breathes, “you had your reasons, and i was insistent on keeping it a surprise.”
relief floods your features. “good,” you whisper before tears well in your eyes.
the sound of your sobs breaks his heart. he immediately wraps his arms around you, brushing his lips on your cheeks.
“i'm sorry, darling,” he murmurs, kissing the skin above your brow. “i'm sorry for worrying you.”
“goddamn sadistic,” you sob. “you knew i was freaking out, but you just watched!”
he grins, “i have to admit, you look cute when you're jealous.”
a groan escapes you. “don't make me throw away both rings.”
“is that so? i should've ordered twenty spares.”
“no.” you scold.
“oh? look at my darling, so jealous,” he smirks, nuzzling his face into your neck. you then feel his lips press into a straight line. “you're not something i would ever try to hide. i would never be ashamed of our relationship.”
you laugh, “prove it.”
your smile faces seeing the smirk on his face. in that exact moment, you know that kamisato ayato, the preposterous god in human flesh, plans to do something grand and explosive to prove you otherwise.
“do not.” you begin, “we've talked about this. you cannot—you absolutely will not bribe the government to declare our wedding date as a national holiday!”
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bonus: ten minutes before the clash
“is it getting warm in here, or am i sensing the intense gaze of your loving fiancé on me?” kokomi laughs, sipping a glass of champagne.
ayato takes a peek, and he chuckles upon seeing your irritated and jealous expression. “they certainly are.”
“please do not involve me in your lovers' quarrels. everyone knows we're just close friends.”
“they do.”
“have you told them?”
“...it may have slipped past my mind.”
kokomi shakes her head. “sadistic.” she slips a black box into his palm. “clear it up. i do not want to be murdered by your future partner.”
ayato glances at you from across the room as you engage a conversation with his sister. “mhm, i could, but their jealous expression is too endearing.”
“sadistic,” she repeats. “absolutely sadistic.”
he chuckles.
“also, kazuha mentioned that you've been referring to them as your companion. correct that.” she continues, “and stop calling them your friend!”
“they asked me to when we started dating.”
she rolls her eyes. “you're so petty. stop trying to provoke them!”
“anyways, everyone knows we're engaged,” he corrects. “their whining face is the cutest.”
“sadistic.”
“kokomi?”
she tilts her head and hums, “yes?”
“ever wondered how much it costs to propose a national holiday?”
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author’s note: lmao. so in this modern au ayato actually succeeds in turning your wedding date into a national holiday. the government actually appreciates his donation because a.) they always accept goodwilled (lmao) funds and b.) ayato's an important pillar to the gov and they don't want to upset him 'cause petty rich boy tantrums tilt the economy (how sadistic).
so, ayato's the heir of the company where you are employed at as an idol turned actor/actress. kokomi is the heiress to a big jewelry corporation. lmao they were both engaged together when they were like five but they instantly broke it off because well, they both threw five year old tantrums.
plus thoma telling you that they were to be engaged was just a fact he blurted out when you asked about kokomi (he manages to omit the five-year-old part because he's careless + he didn't think it matters because anyone can tell ayato's intensely in love with you)
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hyunjilicious · 11 months
Text
[bf!felix x reader]
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Summary: a chill evening on the couch turns into you and Felix exploring a new kink because tiktok is never a good influence. (SMUT-ish) 2.3k Warnings: SPIT KINK (tons of it, it's the main thing, so if you're not into that, don't read this), mentions of oral (m receiving) and other minor things like hair pulling or like Felix sucking your fingers. There's no actual smut in this, just two idiots who take turns spitting in each others mouths, I'm sorry, I have no shame. 18+ PLS!!!
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A soft grunt escaped your lips as you shifted around in place for what was probably the 5th time in the last 3 minutes. Your back was sore and you could barely feel your left foot, as it was already 6pm and all you did throughout the day was lay with Felix on the couch, talking and watching movies. Right now however, the room was silent as you both scrolled on your phones, the only forms of interaction between the two of you being the obscene number of kisses Felix would plant on your forehead every other minute, the way he played with the sleeve of your shirt, that one time you bit his chest just because you could and obviously, the tiktoks you decided to show one another.
Your feed had been fairly entertaining yet nothing out of the ordinary, until one specific video earned a reaction from you, in the form of a disgusted gagging sound. 
Felix didn't bother to speak up or ask what it was that you just watched, instead he just removed one of your earbuds and put it in his own ear as you angled the phone so that he could also see the video.
"I don't get it" he looked at you.
"It's gross"
"Is it?" he softly asked, looking at you as if he was too shy to tell you he took it as a personal offense.
"Yes? Of course? Who in their right mind asks someone else to spit in their mouth?"
He didn't answer and silence settled again. Due to the way you were completely pressed into his side, you couldn't see his face, so as one too many seconds passed where he failed to answer, you couldn't help but push yourself up onto your elbows to face him. "Felix?"
"You wouldn't ask me to do it?"
"No!?" you responded, offended.
"Not even if you knew I was into it and wanted to do it with you?"
His question made you stop. This wasn't hypothetical anymore. Now it wasn't just a random thing from the internet that you were chatting about; now it was about Felix, and something he personally wanted to do. With you. You swallowed thickly, the way your view on the topic shifted completely in under one minute making you question your morals. 
"I- I don't-" you mumbled, eyes cast somewhere over his shoulder, at the bookcase behind him. "It's not the same thing"
"How come?" he sweetly asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought he played you. But he was just honest with you and you were just that in love with him. 
"Lix, don't do this to me!" you whined and pushed yourself up into a sitting position. 
He followed you. "Do what? Baby, I'm not trying to-"
"No, you're not trying to anything, but now I kinda wanna try it and it's gross. Are you happy?" you dramatically exclaimed, making him giggle. 
"Happy with what? Princess, what did I do?"
"You looked at me with those eyes and now I want you to-" you pointed to your phone, "do that to me"
That made him grin, "You want me to spit in your mouth, baby?"
Fuck, you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. And the worst part of it all was the way your core reacted, making your thighs involuntarily rub against one another. "...maybe"
"I can do that if you want to" he softly said and placed a hand on your cheek as he leaned in to peck your lips. "I'd love to do it, actually. But only if you're sure"
"I am sure" he hurriedly answered, voice shaky and not at all as confident as you had hoped. It made him smile, it had been quite a while since he'd seen you this flustered and he had absolutely no idea how badly he missed it.
"It's ok" he reassured you and closed the distance between the two of you with a gentle kiss. His plush lips enveloped yours and your heart rate slowed down on the spot, you melted in his arms - your safe place; your anxieties dissipating by the second. Lips still locked, Felix helped you crawl into his lap, his hands remaining on your hips as the kiss consumed itself in the most intoxicating way possible. 
When you pulled away, you had to take a deep breath to calm your dizzy mind, and when you looked back at him - at his lazy and hungry, yet warm and understanding eyes, the words just flew out of your mouth. "Felix, please?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Ok then" Felix smiled. 
He straightened his back and grabbed your chin, pecked your lips one more time and then gently tilted your head back. "Open your mouth for me, sweetheart"
With your heart again beating out of your chest, you followed his command - opened your mouth wide and fixed your stare on his.
"That's right, doll. Stay like that for me for a second, baby. So beautiful"
All you could do was blink and bring your hands up to the sides of his neck for support - mental support, because with your knees on either side of his lap, there was physically no way for you to alleviate the growing pain between your legs. 
"Push your tongue out for me" he instructed further, and nodded in approval when you did as told. "So good for me, my pretty baby."
The anticipation was killing you, and you nearly moaned out loud when Felix titled your head back even further - so that he was now fully towering above you. 
For a split second, your stare traveled down to his lips and the instant you saw them part, you looked back up into his eyes.
"Are you ready, sweetheart?"
You nodded, eagerly this time, your head bopping against his hand - gesture which made him smile. But he fought against it, repressed the grin, and closed the distance between your bodies before shamelessly spitting directly onto your awaiting tongue. 
Shivers ran through your whole body and you remained there for a second, frozen, until he used his thumb on your chin to slowly close your mouth. "You can swallow for me, baby"
And the second you did, another wave of shame washed over your body, making the pressure between your legs even more intolerable than before. You then licked your lips and shook yourself, your head instantly dropping, your stare fixed between your bodies.
"Hey, hey, don't do that-" Felix cooed, and gently got you to face him again, "Please don't hide from me, angel, ok?"
"Ok" you mumbled and pushed yourself closer to him. Even though you were already basically pressed flush against him, Felix still wrapped his arms around your waist to help you settle closer. 
"How was it? Did you like it?"
"Yes" you cringed. "I did"
"Good, my baby" he pecked your lips ever so softly, "You were so good for me. I liked it too, a lot" 
Despite your interaction with him being the cause of your embarrassment, his mere presence was also the only thing that could ease your mood. So, as a shy giggle left your lips, you hid your face into his shoulder. "Weird…"
"What's on your mind, hm?" Felix questioned, "I can hear the wheels turning"
"Um…" you laughed but failed to give him an answer. He, however, didn't need one. He knew already.
"Y/n?"
"Yes?" you looked up and met his warm glance.
"Yes, baby. You can do it, too. Isn't that what you wanted to ask?"
"Was it that obvious?" you chuckled, resuming your position in front of him. "Am I really that easy to read?"
"Not all the time, just sometimes. What else could've gotten you like this? You were never this shy around me"
"I'm sorry"
"Stop it, don't apologize. I think it's cute, I love seeing you like this. But I want you to be comfortable, ok?"
"Talk me through it?" you shyly asked, pushing your hair back as you got into position. This made Felix throw his head back as his eyes fluttered shut. He was riled up already - this whole situation didn't only affect you, but he kept his calm and remained composed for the sole purpose of offering you safety and confidence, but there was only so much he could take.
His cock was shamelessly stretching the fabric of his sweatpants, pressing directly against your heated core. It was less than ideal for him.
Fighting against himself, Felix grabbed your hips and pushed you up, so that now you were the one towering above him. His head was leaning back against the couch, droopy eyes studying your every feature. 
"Ok, baby, ready?" he patted your ass.
You nodded.
"Come on, then. I'll do whatever you tell me" he tried to encourage you, but the way you blinked let him know very clearly you had no idea what he meant. So he continued, "Tell me to open my mouth. Tell me how you want me. Show me. You can do anything you want with me, love. I'm yours to do as you please"
"Ok, but like-"
"Y/n, it's me. There's no need to be this nervous"
"But what if I'm awkward?"
"Baby-" he took a deep breath, "Half the blood in my body is in my dick right now. You couldn't be awkward if you tried. And even if you could, I probably wouldn't even be able to tell. You know I'm wrapped around your finger, princess"
"Ok, ok" you giggled and got into position. "I can do this"
"Yes" Felix smiled proudly, "Of course you can"
You took a deep breath to gather yourself and then looked at him, "Lixie?"
"Yes, baby"
"Keep your eyes on mine, baby, ok? At all times"
He obediently nodded and licked his lips while squeezing your body closer. Everything inside of you burned as you placed your palms on his cheeks and your thumbs on his chin. He watched you closely, carefully awaiting instructions and showing absolutely no intention of stepping out of your word.
"Can you open your mouth for me, Lix? Just a little bit. A tiny bit"
He faintly nodded and parted his lips - not as much as you wished, but you worked with it, placing your pointer and middle finger on his bottom lip. "Will you suck for me?"
This time he didn't bother to nod. He had been waiting for this and wasn't about to waste any more time. One of the hands that he had until now been resting on your ass circled around your wrist, pushing your fingers deeper into his mouth. He sucked eagerly, his plump lips close to your knuckles as he watched you - pupils dilated and his face all red - he wasn't holding back. 
"So good, just like that" you whispered, caressing his bottom lip with your thumb. And for that, he only went harder, hollowed his cheeks and brushed his tongue along the pads of your fingers, sending shivers in waves up and down your spine.
Seeing him like this awoke something inside of you, and the moment he bucked his hips up into you, you knew it was time to stop. Without warning, you retracted your hand which earned you a soft, pained whimper the moment he was left with his mouth open and empty.
"More" he cried.
But you didn't listen. Instead, you brought your fingers to your lips and licked them, closing your eyes to emphasize the pleasure it gave you. "You taste so good, Felix" 
"Angel, please"
"I don't know what you want" you teased, "Tell me"
Your roles might have reversed, but unlike you, he never shied away from letting you know just how needy he was. "I need you to spit in my mouth for me, my love. Please, baby, I need it"
"You need it?"
"Yes" he whined in desperation. "Spit in my mouth like you spit on my cock before you blow me. I need to taste you, baby, please"
"Anything for you" you smiled and wrapped your fingers around the roots of his soft, blonde hair. When you yanked his head back, a moan escaped his lips but it didn't make him falter, he had no shame, he didn't care how pathetic it might look. He just craved you and thrived on the fact that you could so easily tell just how desperate he was. He loved being weak for you. 
With his head held in position, you leaned down to give him a soft, little kiss, and with your lips still pressed against his, you whispered, "Open"
He obeyed your command, while still remembering the first one. No matter how hard he was able to feel his pulse inside his balls, he kept his eyes trained on yours as you did exactly what he asked - spit in his mouth like you spit on his cock. 
"Fuck" he threw his head back as he swallowed, but his bliss was painfully interrupted when you unknowingly lowered yourself back onto his lap. "Shit, baby!" Felix hissed, "careful"
"Oh my god, sorry!" you hurried to move to the side and plop down on the couch, only to see him pull at the cotton of his sweatpants, or underwear, in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure the material was causing him. 
"So I did ok?" you questioned, blinking at him as you awaited his response.
But he could only scoff. "Ok!?" Felix laughed, "Ok!? Baby, you made me suck on your fingers"
"You didn't want to?"
"Angel, you blew my mind. Fuck, I need a shower-" he breathed, getting ready to stand up before you stopped him.
"What? I can do it"
"No, I'm all gross" he wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, "But you can join me"
"I don't want to join you in the shower, Felix. I want to suck your cock here. Now"
"Jesus Christ, baby, you'll be the death of me"
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theostrophywife · 11 months
Note
Hey! I love your work! I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males and so az (maybe he already has a thing for reader) offers to give her lessons? The more NSFW the better 😉
innocence.
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author's note: sorry for being m.i.a. please accept this as my apology gift. largely inspired by this song. you can't tell me that az doesn't have the biggest corrpution kink 😏
it started out innocently enough.
one winter evening after a particularly rowdy wine night, you and azriel laid in a heap at the house of wind, giggling at nothing as the warmth of the alcohol lowered your inhibitions and loosened your lips.
"never?" azriel asked incredulously, his brows creasing in the most adorable way. "you've truly never kissed anyone?"
you pouted, crossing your arms. thanks to cassian and his big mouth, the shadowsinger now knew the true extent of your naivete. growing up in the high priestess's temple in the dawn court, you had devoted much of your life to duty and training, which left little to no room for encounters with the opposite sex.
it never bothered you before. until you moved to the night court and met the shadowsinger. azriel was beyond gorgeous and smart and funny and probably well-versed in the art of seduction, which is more than you could say for your inexperienced self.
"don't tease, az." you groaned, covering your face behind your hands. as if that would hide the flush spreading through your cheeks. "i'm already mortified enough as it is."
"hey," azriel said softly as he gently grabbed your wrists. "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, love."
"you're just saying that to be nice."
the shadowsinger shook his head. "i torture people for a living," he deadpanned. "i am not nice."
you chuckled, which brought a smile to azriel's handsome face. "besides, practice makes perfect. i've seen you go from not knowing how to hold a sword to perfecting the eight point attack in a matter of weeks. kissing should be a piece of cake compared to that."
"kissing and fighting aren't the same thing."
azriel smirked. "it is, if you're doing it right. all it takes is a good teacher." the tips of your ears reddened. “and we all know how fast of a learner you are.”
you snorted. "somehow i doubt that nesta would be into the idea of letting me borrow her mate for lessons." a little frown formed on your face. "or maybe she would. you never know with those two."
the idea formed in azriel's mind before he could think better of it. the shadowsinger hated that he thought of it in the first place, but fuck. you were both a little tipsy and a tiny bit reckless and he'd been crushing on you for far too long and maybe tonight was the night he finally did something about it.
"i could teach you."
you stilled. “what?”
azriel shrugged and put on his most nonchalant expression even though his inner monologue was currently pure turmoil. “i could teach you how to kiss.” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to yours. “it might help to practice with someone you’re comfortable with.”
you cocked your head, weighing his words. “you’re…actually serious about this.”
“why wouldn’t i be?”
“well, wouldn’t it make things weird? you’re my best friend. best friends don’t just kiss.”
you had him there. azriel certainly had never offered this unique service to any of his friends before. “i don’t think it’s weird. i think it makes perfect sense. in fact, it’s weird that we’re not kissing right now. best friends kiss all the time,” the shadowsinger deadpanned.
you snorted. “so you and cassian are just having heated little makeout sessions behind me and nesta’s back?”
azriel winked. “i won’t tell if you don’t.”
that earned an earnest little giggle out of you. then you were quiet again, lost in the pros and cons.
pro: you really wanted to kiss azriel.
con: you really wanted to kiss azriel.
what if you were horrible at it? what if you had bad breath? what if you accidentally bit him? what if azriel figured out that you had a pathetic little crush on him and he doesn’t return the feelings and your friendship implodes then you’d have to move back to the dawn court and adopt a bunch of cats just like thesan always teased you about when you were children—
“you’re spiraling.”
you crossed your arms. “am not.”
azriel rolled his eyes fondly. “i can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” his expression softened as he turned over on the couch, his chin perched in one hand. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i just…” the bob of an adam’s apple. “i just wanted your first kiss to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.”
that turned your insides into mush. “oh.”
the shadowsinger’s cheeks reddened. “never mind, it sounds silly now that i’ve said it out loud.”
“it’s not,” you said, sitting cross legged on the sofa. “it’s not stupid, az. it’s really sweet, actually.”
your heart hammered inside of your chest as you faced azriel. his hazel eyes glowed golden under the faelights and a warm flush colored his cheeks a rosy tone. from this close, you could make out the constellations of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks, its traitorous little trail stopping just above his cupid’s bow. you couldn’t help it. your gaze went straight to his lips. they looked soft, sensual, and perfectly kissable. you wondered if he’d taste like sweet wine.
“y/n?” azriel murmured softly.
“hmm?”
“you’re staring.”
your cheeks reddened and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of azriel’s mouth. “you’re the one who brought up kissing,” you countered, raising a brow. “now i can’t stop staring at your stupid lips.”
the shadowsinger’s smirk grew wider. “my stupid lips,” he repeated. “that you want to kiss.”
“no,” you blurted. azriel raised a knowing brow. “yes. maybe.” you shifted awkwardly. “what if i’m terrible at it? what if i accidentally miss? what if i don’t know where to put my hands? oh my gods, what if i accidentally bite you?”
to his credit, there wasn’t an ounce of judgement on azriel’s face. he’d witnessed your outbursts enough times that he wasn’t even fazed by it. the shadowsinger grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles over your knuckles. “one, no one’s first kiss is great. at best, it’s weird and awkward because you’re just trying to figure it out. that’s kind of the point. two, you won’t miss. just follow my lead. three, the neck or waist are generally safe spots to place your hands.” azriel demonstrated by wrapping your arms around his neck. “lastly, i don’t mind if you bite me. in fact, i might enjoy it.” he gave you a cheeky wink that helped dissipate the rest of your anxious worries.
you chuckled softly. leave it to azriel to make you laugh mid freak out. the shadowsinger smiled and cauldron fucking boil you, the sight of it pretty much sealed your fate.
“so,” you murmured, toying with the loose curls at the nape of azriel’s neck. “what now?”
“that’s entirely up to you, love.”
you blinked. once, twice. the smell of cedar and starkissed night. freckles and rosy cheeks. warm, golden eyes that melted your insides like honey. scarred hands that caressed the side of your face with heartbreaking gentleness.
“kiss me, azriel.”
the shadowsinger did not need to be told twice. he tilted your chin, brushing his nose against yours for a brief moment. azriel took a deep breath like he was savoring the moment, like his entire life had been leading up to this. then he kissed you.
his lips were as soft as freshly plucked rose petals and as sweet as the wine that still coated your tongue. they pressed against yours, gentle and exploring as azriel cupped your cheek. you leaned into him and your fingers found purchase in his silky, dark locks as azriel deepened the kiss. his arm snaked across your back as he pulled you into his lap, his mouth never once leaving yours. the sweet innocent pecks did not stay innocent for long.
the shadowsinger groaned as you nestled into him. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t pressed against him, but still you wanted more. your hands moves of their own accord and slipped underneath azriel’s cream sweater. his skin felt like a warm summer day despite the fact that it was currently the dead of winter.
“fuck,” azriel growled into your neck.
you pulled away, startled. it didn’t even occur to you that your fingers were as cold as icicles. “shit. sorry, az i didn’t think—“
you slipped your hands out of his sweater, but azriel caught you by the wrist. “no,” he grunted, his voice dark and low and dangerous. “no, don’t stop.”
it was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. even hotter still with the way azriel tugged you to him as though he’d rather die than have you stop touching him. you greedily obliged, taking the lead this time. azriel cursed under his breath as you kissed him again, tangling his curls between your fingers. there was something intoxicating about him—his taste, his touch, his kiss. you couldn’t get enough.
when you finally came up for breath, the shadowsinger looked at you as though he’d been starving for centuries and you’d only really begun to scratch the surface of his hunger. azriel wanted to devour you.
but tonight, he’d settle for a kiss. except, it was anything but.
azriel was fucked.
he blinked, drinking in your lust added gaze and flushed cheeks. you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and it was all he could do to reel himself in. “are…are all first kisses like that?” your voice was hoarse from disuse and utterly sexy.
“no,” azriel answered honestly. “i’ve never had a kiss like that.”
your grin brought out a set of dimples that azriel had long ago deemed as his greatest weaknesses. “and i’ve never had a first kiss, period.”
and you never will again, azriel thought. not if he could help it.
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“does that feel good, love?” azriel asked as he pressed a kiss against your collar bone.
you whimpered as his lips trailed between the valley of your breasts. since that first kiss, you and azriel hadn’t been able to keep your hands off of each other. over the last few weeks, the apprehension you felt about your inexperience slowly started to feel like a blessing in disguise. azriel said you were a fast learner, but only because he was such a great teacher.
“gods,” you breathed, clutching the sheets as azriel continued his descent.
“you can just call me az, you know.”
you rolled your eyes at the cheeky male below you. from this angle, he certainly looked like a god. his hair was a tousled mess, dark curls tangled from where you ran your fingers through it. sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, his golden brown skin glowing in the afternoon light. you were vaguely aware that the sun as setting over the horizon, which meant that the rest of your friends would be arriving for dinner, but neither one of you seemed to care.
during the past few weeks, you and azriel continued your lessons. first base was easy enough to master. the two of you put in plenty of hours sneaking off to make out in azriel’s room, the wine cellar, the training pits, and even in feyre’s art studio at the river house once when things really got desperate. it was a wonder that your friends hadn’t caught you yet. there had been several close calls with cassian. mostly because the male was a nosy busybody.
second base took a little more work. you were terrified at first. you and azriel had been making out in your bed for what seemed like hours before you finally mustered up the courage to slip your hand into his trousers. the shadowsinger made a sound that was half growl and half purr and for a split second you were afraid that you’d hurt him. when you voiced your fears, azriel was quick to reassure you.
“i’m not in pain, love.” azriel said, his voice strained and breathy. “trust me, i feel the complete opposite.”
“tell me how to make you feel good, az.”
the string of curse words that fell from his lips were so filthy that it made you blush. the shadowsinger guided your hand over his cock and you nearly gasped at the impressive length. azriel was hot and hard beneath your touch, his wings flexing as you grasped him in your hand.
“loosen your grip, love.” azriel adjusted your hand, motioning for your fingers to relax and mold against him. you mimicked his movement, eliciting a low rumble out of the shadowsinger. the competitive part of you awakened, eager to make azriel groan like that again. you gazed up at azriel through your lashes with determination. “gods, don’t look at me like that y/n or this lesson will be over before it’s even started.”
heat erupted in your core, but you shook the desire away. this was about azriel. you wanted to make him come undone for once instead of the other way around. “show me, az.” you said. “i want to see how you touch yourself.”
“cauldron boil me,” azriel muttered under his breath. “you’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”
you watched as he gripped himself and pumped at a steady pace. he slowed down the movements for you and you studied each flick of his wrist as though you’d be tested on it later. as sinful as it was, there was something heavenly about watching azriel stroke himself. your hands itched to touch him. once you felt confident enough, azriel let you take over.
azriel’s eyes rolled back as you pumped his shaft, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest. his heavy breathing filled the room and it quickly became your favorite sound in the world.
you felt a strange rush of power witnessing azriel in such a vulnerable state. his lids were heavy with lust, golden eyes barely visible from the ring of onyx swallowing up his irises. you thought he looked pretty like this, his head tilted back against your headboard while his lips parted to release a shallow breath every now and then.
"you have no idea how good that feels, love." azriel grunted. you tightened your grip, spreading the bead of precum over his tip. your little improvisation was met with a moan that seeped into your bones.
"how good, az?" you teased.
those long lashes of his kissed the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. "fucking amazing," azriel declared. "keep going, love. don't stop, please. gods—"
"you can just call me y/n, you know."
azriel growled in response before pulling you in for a heated kiss. his hips thrust up to match your pace as his tongue parted your lips. he swallowed your moans, devouring you like his life depended on it.
“just like that, love.” azriel said in appreciation. “you’re doing such a good job, y/n.”
the praise affected you more than you thought it would. you were always seeking positive feedback when it came to your work, especially in training, but this was something else. it only encouraged you to keep going at a faster pace until azriel was coming undone in your hands. the sight of him losing control would forever be etched in your mind.
the more azriel gave, the more you craved. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. the whole thing may have started as a practical way to tackle sex, but as time went on, it started to evolve into something else entirely.
until the lessons weren’t really just lessons anymore.
if you had to pinpoint the moment when everything changed, it would have been a few days after winter solstice. azriel had been away for a mission and was unable to make it home for the festivities. throughout the night, you kept finding yourself fidgeting and glancing at the empty seat beside you. at one point during dinner, cassian squeezed your hand and smiled sadly.
“i’m sure he misses you too, y/n.”
the gravity of those words hit you full force when you found azriel standing in the doorway of your flat. he was still dressed in his combat leathers and dark circles formed underneath his eyes as though he’d flown nonstop from wherever he was to get back home. before you could stop yourself, you rushed at him and nearly knocked him into the street from the force of your hug.
“i know, love.” azriel murmured softly into your hair. “i missed you, too.”
one bath and two cups of hot chocolate later, you found yourself curled up on the sofa as snow fell softly against the windowpane. you set your drink down on the table and turned to face azriel.
“so, i was thinking…”
the corner of azriel’s mouth quirked. “that’s never good.”
you tossed a pillow at him and rolled your eyes. “i was thinking that maybe it’s my turn to teach you a lesson, for once.”
the shadowsinger looked intrigued by that. “oh yeah? and what do you want to teach me, love?”
“i’m going to teach you how to sleep, az.” you pointedly stared at his bruised eyes, which only made him chuckle in amusement. “because judging from those bags underneath your eyes, you’re no expert in the matter.”
“i don’t get a say in this, do i?” shadows peered over his shoulders as though they too yearned for rest.
“nope,” you said cheerfully, dragging him off the couch and into your bedroom.
azriel let you bully him into getting underneath the covers. he tucked his wings to the side as he faced you. “what’s so great about this thing you call sleep, then? seems pretty boring to me.”
“well if you’d let me demonstrate,” you said impatiently before tugging him towards you. azriel chuckled and scooted closer. “i’ll have you know i’m a world class cuddler.”
“yeah? prove it then, love.” azriel teased.
the shadowsinger watched in amusement as you bossed him around. first you made him lie on his stomach and then pulled him to your chest. as much as he enjoyed teasing the absolute hell out of you, he couldn’t help but murmur in satisfaction as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. even his shadows seemed to enjoy bathing in your warmth and breathing in your jasmine shampoo.
“mmm,” az mumbled sleepily. for the first time in gods knew how long, he felt warm and safe and content. “you’re bossy as hell, but comfy too.”
“i know, you stubborn giant bat baby.”
the shadowsinger snorted. “giant bat baby?”
you rolled your eyes fondly. “shut up and cuddle, az.”
azriel burrowed himself further until his body heat warmed every inch of your skin. “that’s the good stuff,” he declared, brushing a soft kiss against your collarbone.
“told you i was good,” you said with a smile. azriel couldn’t even argue. with your hands massaging his scalp and your legs intertwined with his, the shadowsinger would’ve agree to anything you said.
“the best,” he hummed against your skin.
this was dangerous territory. with your other lessons, it was easy to shove aside your feelings because pleasure made it hard to think about anything else. but with azriel laying on your chest and clinging onto you like this meant something more…you could no longer avoid that pesky voice of doubt.
you were in love with azriel.
you had been for a long time.
shit.
“y/n?” azriel asked, cutting through the turmoil of your thoughts. his wings draped over the sides of your bed, relaxed and at ease.
“yeah?”
his golden eyes found yours in the dark. for a second, he stared at you like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. the shadowsinger opened his mouth like he was going to say something important, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and smiled.
“good night, love.”
in that moment, you knew azriel had your heart in the palm of his hand. “good night, az.”
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azriel knew it was only a matter of time before these lessons came back to bite him on the ass.
he had been so eager that first night. mostly because he'd had a crush on you for so long and it was finally time to do something about it. the shadowsinger knew that he probably should've just told you how he felt, but he didn't want to shatter this delicate thing between you.
after all, these were just lessons. for all he knew, he was just your practice partner. it wasn't really all that different from sparring. except your weapons where your lips and your hands and your fucking smile that made his heart skip a beat every time you so much as grinned at him from across the room.
gods, he was so fucked.
the reality of it didn't fully hit him until that disastrous spring night.
the two of you had perfected third base eons ago. azriel knew how to make you cum with his mouth using a combination of expert tongue flicks and help from his shadows. nothing brought him joy like your shaking legs greedily wrapping around him as he ate your pussy like a man starved.
azriel thought he found the key to happiness until you returned the favor and went down on him.
finding restraint was hard. reeling his desire in while you knelt before him with your lips wrapped around his cock was nearly impossible.
"like this?" you asked, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. azriel thought he was going to come right then and there when you looked up at him through your lashes, determination burning in your gaze.
you had always been intense. azriel knew that much from months of training together, but he didn't expect you to approach sex with the same competitiveness. you put your all into everything you did, which is what made azriel fall for you in the first place. he just didn't think you'd take the same approach when it came to sucking his dick. not that he was complaining.
in fact, all he could really do was moan.
the shadowsinger attempted to pull it together long enough to utter a coherent sentence. he had to at least attempt to say something helpful. you were putting your trust in him. he liked knowing that he'd been your first everything. now he just had to muster up the courage to tell you that he also intended to be the last.
he tried. he really did.
that night in his room. laying in bed with your legs tangled together. the soft spring breeze billowing through your curtains. azriel watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards him.
"so, what now?" you asked.
azriel's brows furrowed with confusion. "what do you mean, love?"
you tilted your head, biting down on your bottom lip as you mulled over what to say next. it was one of your many little quirks that azriel adored. "i mean, what happens now? we've pretty much covered all the bases. except for one."
sex. you hadn't had sex yet. azriel knew this would come up sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be the latter. while it was easy to pretend that the lessons were just lessons to him, azriel couldn't do that with sex. it had always been hard for him to separate his feelings from the physical act and as much as he wanted to make sure that your first experience would be with someone who loved you, it wouldn't be fair to have sex without telling you the truth.
"i don't think that would be a good idea." as soon as the words left his mouth, azriel knew it was the wrong thing to say. he could tell that much from the look on your face. "i just mean, we shouldn't rush into anything."
"rush?" you asked incredulously. "azriel, we've spent the last three months doing anything and everything under the sun except sex."
"and it's been great," azriel said, trying to reel the conversation back in. "the lessons. trusting each other. but i just think you should take a step back and consider if you're truly ready."
that intense gaze he loved so much suddenly felt like the sweltering sun that azriel couldn't wait to shy away from. "you were my first kiss, az. my first everything. i think i've made it pretty clear on where i stand." you paused for a second, scanning his face. "oh my gods. i didn't even think to ask if you wanted this."
you were up before the absurdity of that statement could sink into azriel. if he wanted this? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life.
"they were just lessons," you murmured to yourself while gathering your clothes. “how could i be so stupid?”
"y/n, please." azriel pleaded, not entirely believing what he was hearing. he nearly tripped over his own bedsheets as he followed you across the room.
“no, az. i’m sorry, i thought—“ your eyes brimmed with tears. the sight broke his fucking heart. “it’s not your fault. i just assumed—“
“that i’m in love with you?” azriel asked, gently gripping your wrists. you froze, wide eyes pinning azriel in place. “because i am, you know. i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. this past few months, it’s killed me to pretend that whatever this is between us is just lessons.”
your gaze softened. “why didn’t you ever say anything?”
azriel chuckled bitterly. “because i’m a coward. i was scared that you might not feel the same way, so i settled for whatever scraps you were willing to give me.”
tears filled your eyes again and azriel was scared he’d fucked it up again, but you wiped your cheeks and cupped his face. “you deserve more than that, azriel.”
“i know, love.” he bowed his head. “and you deserve more than just lessons. that’s why i don’t want to have sex. not unless you know what this means to me. if we do this, there will be no one else. not today, not ever. i may be your first, but i also intend to be your last. if you’ll let me.”
a stray tear fell down your cheek, but it was a happy one this time. “if you haven’t noticed, i’m totally crazy about you, az. i think i’ve been in love with you longer than i wanted to admit.”
“can’t blame you,” the shadowsinger said. “i’m totally lovable.”
you smacked him in the chest, but azriel only laughed before he kissed you. really kissed you. it felt like you were floating on air.
gods, you loved him. you really did.
you smiled into the kiss. “i love you, az.”
the shadowsinger kissed the tip of your nose. “i love you too, y/n.”
“so…no more lessons, right?”
azriel shook his head and scooped you into his arms. “no more lessons. i want the real thing this time.”
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