#i was trying so hard to be better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clits-and-clips · 28 days

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Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it

#txt #trying to figure it out #i tried to be there for jim and listen to him and be a good partner #but he barely opened up #i didnt know he wanted to leave me #he chose to open up when i was mad #so i didnt respond #so that i didnt yell #not that that is his fault #i should have done better #but i couldny #in that house #i was so overstimulated all the fucking tome #time #like always #and i didnt even realise it #until he kicked me put #out*#and now im just guilty over everything.#why wasnt i better #why cpuldnt i be better #its not fair that he didnt tell me #3 months and you really couldnt tell me what was on your mind #thats unfair man #i was trying so hard to be better #to do better #giving him space is almost impossible #hes my best friend and my soul mate #i dont want to talk to anyone else tbh #so being ignored is like a knife to my chest and idk what to do about it and this is my last tag i can put it and i just dont even know

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dudedidujust · 1 month

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Au where Damian comes to Gotham with the goal of infiltrating and eventually overthrowing Batman instead of inheriting the mantle. Not much changes from canon except for the fact that he views everything that batman owns as his. That's his future cave and his future batmobile. This also includes his robins. After all everyone knows Batman wouldn't really be Batman without them.

Cue a very bewildered Tim being lectured on his eating habits by a righteous Damian who won't let one of his people take shortcuts with their health.

#Damian looking at the manor: its free real estate #he almost writes off red hood but after finding out his identity he switches to trying to lure him yo his side #jason gets the head of a random thug who was bothering him on his doorstep #damian: im gonna be a better batman than batman. I'll sway all his allies to my side and then there'll be no complaints when i take over #everyone else: he's such a sweet kid. sorta prickly but he has a good heart ❤️#damian wayne #batman #batfam #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #they all thinks he's trying so hard to be accepted into the fam when infact he's trying to get to the top

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inkskinned · 1 year

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oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way)#it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!!#and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences!#and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker.#i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!!#ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical.#i am neither of these things.#it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are''#.... don't i?#do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims?#and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better

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agendercryptidlev · 4 months

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Torchwood gets massive props from me for using the "character gets tricked into thinking they did something terrible and confesses it to their loved one" trope with the loved one instead of freaking out just going "no you fucking didn't. We're going to figure out what's actually going on here"

#Seriously I was cringing so hard expecting some big freak out but then Jack was like 'no you didn't do that's #And he was clever enough to try multiple strategies to figure out what was going on with Ianto!#Like my brother was like 'u can open your eyes now Jack isn't stupid'#Who is stupid is Adam who still tries the whole 'i made them better!' argument on Jack #After making Jack's boyfriend have a traumatic panic attack by implanting fake memories in his head #Like Adam girly just replace his memories of reading the diary to include you and then steal and hide the diary #Torchwood #Jack Harkness #Ianto Jones #Janto

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cryptocism · 1 year

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You think just anybody can qualify for a crush on Superboy? There's a vetting process. You have to submit an application to the board.

I continue to draw the silly bits of Frequency (this one is from Chapter 5, if context is a thing you like to have)

#my art #dc #Young Justice #young just us #core four #frequency fic #too many thads au #tim drake #cassie sandsmark #kon el #conner kent #bart allen #thad thawne #thaddeus thawne #on the whole Frequency is probably a drama? genre wise?#but every once in a while i will write something that i think is funny and convince myself its a comedy #also enjoy the handwriting im trying to get better at quick n messy sketches so apologies if its hard to read

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flawlessflesh · 1 month

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i've been playing dragon's dogma with thistle as the arisen and falin as his main pawn ^_^

may their adventures never end...

#dungeon meshi #falin touden #thistle #thistle dungeon meshi #its the perfect game to play as thistle bc i have to micromanage my minions or else theyll stop listening to me or get into trouble...#its so hard being in charge!!!#also trying to be better about crossposting to tumblr ^_^;;

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levitatingbiscuits · 1 year

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i like a superbat dynamic where clark is a big friendly golden retriever trying doggedly to make friends with pissy, angry black cat bruce, but a dynamic i love that i rarely see explored is the cat trying very hard to cozy up to the concerned, confused, slightly petrified dog

#i love when he goes all brucie in a desperate attempt to charm clark and clark is genuinely worried that he's gotten one too many knocks #to the head #unfortunately i might have to write it myself bc it's a v rare dynamic #or even better he's still brusque and scary batman but he's trying so hard to be friendly with clark and clark thinks he got replaced with a #pod person #both #both is good #superbat

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doctorsiren · 7 months

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I saw an interesting post a while back that said “Capcom made us [Miles and Diego/Godot] only have like two(?) interactions because they knew we would be unstoppable with a brother dynamic” and tbh it stuck with me bc it was intriguing.

So yeah that potential brotherhood, but that Godot/Diego AU I made (that I still need a name for)

Also I bet Gregory Edgeworth would have smelled like a bit like coffee, and so Diego just reminds Miles of that comforting presence 😭 (the von Karma estate was a tea household, so he didn’t smell much coffee after DL-6 and didn’t realize how much he missed it/reminded him of his father)

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #ace attorney au #diego armando #prosecutor godot #miles edgeworth #comic #ace attorney fanart #good guy godot au #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate #loving the inconsistent styles for Miles in the panels HAHA #that post also made me think of an AU where after the Fawles case. miles goes to Diego asking for help because he can’t stop thinking about #what happened on the stand and he can’t go to his mentor bc he’s showing weakness and that’s not allowed #and essentially long story short. miles decided to drop prosecuting after one case and be a defense attorney and he asks Diego to protect #him from von karma and also to be his mentor #so it’s like Mia and Phoenix but it’s Diego and Miles and then after Diego gets poisoned. Mia has to mentor Miles and she’s a little #hesitant at first because of how cocky he was in that trial but she sees that he’s genuinely trying to be better #also Diego would ask miles: you’re trying to be what von Karma wants you to be…well..what do YOU want to be?#and miles would answer: I want to be my dad #JUST LIKE IN MY 1985 ANIMATIC #ANYWAYS I’M BRAINROTTING SO HARD RN EXCUSE ME LMAO #ALSO MY FRIEND SAID THAT IN THIS AU (the one in the post) DIEGO AND PHOENIX ARE ENEMIES TO BROTHERS #and that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day it’s such a funny statement AND IT’S TRUE!!!!

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carrotkicks · 7 months

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art from yesterday we have

dazai holding up a ghost costume

dazai and chuuya in demon & angel costumes

15 chuuya as a witch. he's got mushrooms

#doodles #skk #if you couldnt tell im trying to recapture this particular aspect of my artstyle that i had a lot like.. last october ishh...#i really like how my artstyle looked back then. ofc i have better anatomy knowledge now i just really like the coloring and inking from then #and the eyes!!! i like how i used to do eyes. its so hard to get that back lolll

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christronomy · 7 months

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chan loves slapping his cock against you before putting it in. he'd slap your cheek or tongue with it before taking a handful of your hair and stuffing it your mouth all the way cause he knows you can be good for him and take it. he's definitely the type to slap his cock against your hole, hissing and groaning a little, letting out a small "fuck" before thrusting into you roughly. like imagine riding him reverse cowgirl and he slips out so he grabs his cock and slaps it against your ass before sticking it back in.

#gonna scream and yell and like #bang my head against the floor #need him sb #also i'm still sick and it's kicking my ass #so i'll try to answer asks when i feel better #pls don't hate me #chan smut #stray kids hard thoughts #skz hard thoughts #bangchan smut #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #skz smut #solieverse: planet reverie

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pyralart · 1 year

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All thanks to them...

Just an idea of what Belos could be doing next episode- you might also spot some suspicious drawings hidden in there- if not... it's your loss

ID in ALT and under read more:

[ID: Comic with the character Belos from the cartoon show The Owl House, in his monster form. It takes place after the episode "Thanks to Them". Belos is back to the demon realm in his monster form. He is seen going in his cave, overhead some tubes are full of a green glowing magical liquid. He says with a distorted voice: "I will finish this"

Belos is kneeling on the ground, looking down at it. A green tube is planted in the ground. Belos continues: "I just need..."

Belos is slowly melting into the ground in a horrific manner. In the background a goopy hand is reaching down as it shows all the goop disappearing in the ground as a green glow emanates from the earth.

A last drop of goop is seen on the ground before disappearing completely.

Next panel, a hand emerges straight from the ground.

A grimwalker, almost Hunter lookalike, is halfway out of the ground, looking at his hand. He show signs of possession by Belos, his eyes are icy blue and some green and brown patches appeared already. He finishes: "... A proper body to work with"

The background turned to black. On it is written: "Right, Caleb?".

The next panel shows the grimwalker, currently Belos, with horns sprouting from his head. He is taking up his (Caleb's) coat from a chair, continuing: "Thanks to them, we can finally-"

"Do this together" He ends in the next panel, tugging on his coat and smirking menacingly as his horns fully grew out of his head.]

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crescentfool · 5 months

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orpheus and thanatos 💚

#persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #makoto yuki #lizzy does art #HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting #and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh #sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)

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emilinqa · 12 days

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da three stooges

#HB PENCIL BRUSH SAVE ME #i’m trying to learn to draw bones so hard. these are pretty good but i still need to get better #star trek #spock #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #my art #tos #my trek

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shopcat · 11 months

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i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

#🍦#answer it's bc people think he's some mishmash of all alternative scenes without any actual knowledge of where the mashing occurs 😭#eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll #it's so funny when ppl try and describe it and they've never heard the stuff he actually listens to in their lives for some reason #literally so much of the appeal of eddie's character within his subculture is that its theatrical and dramatic but its still grounded #he's very alternative and Out There but he's still just some guy. he's not wearing spiked leather jackets #in fact he's not wearing any of the other kinds of leather jackets i've seen people say he would ... TO ME #sts #if u haven't seen the clip he then proceeds to air guitar the MoP melody then shouts heavy metal is everywhere #i don't even know how to explain this bc it's like ... okay #the general .. VIBE? aestheticsm? is kind of similar to what people sometimes portray but they're missing thst it's tongue in cheek #like it's like that buff poster of him being this anachronistic homage to heavy metal album covers #fire and satanic imagery and skulls and lightning and big drama and ROCK AND ROLL #it's rock and ROLL man...#and people r making him this weird sanitised dork LOL 😭 when he's a dork in a different more fun way.. imo #and it's not that those types of people don't exist and that they're not cool in their own way cuz they are sure but that's not THIS GUY #he is an 80S METALHEAD... and yeah i try and ground him in thinfs and poke and prod at it until it fits my own understanding of alternative #scenes better but that's bc i've had a hand in the punk scene for years and years #i dunno sometimes i feel like ppl r just not doing the full potential and then going way too hard in this super specific direction #and he ends up first of all usually just a massive douchebag not sure what that's about. But a guy who he would in canon HATE 😭#YOU ARE MAKING HIM A POSER. is what i'm saying #he is alwyas some guy before he's anything else and before he's that he's a 20 year old loser #you need to reflect this... You need to bottle it. ugh. ugh #so much of this reminds me of the time someone was like he would never wear PLAID #like are you kidding me. are you actually kidding me rn #ppl have this weird arstheticised mostly modern and mostly literallt just eboy Idea of what he'd wear it's crazy to me sorry #also it's ugly #i also think. this is so long lol . anyway . i also think going too ''authentic'' in the 80s metalhead direction also lands u w different #problems. my advice to people trying to write or draw alternative characters is they are People. before they are anything else #🍏

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zem-zem-zoom · 1 year

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* puts this in your hand and walks away *

#zemboart #sam & max #sam and max #freelance husbands #freelance police #im trying so hard to get better at drawing sam #i did not use a ref for the office and it shows but whocares

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positivelyadhd · 11 months

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I truly encourage you to add things that simply bring you joy to your list of things to do that day.

it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as making your favourite drink or food for lunch or spending some time on a hobby or watching a show you enjoy.

adding things to look forward to and giving yourself time to experience those things is just as important as doing every other thing on that list.

you're allowed to plan to do things for no other reason than it makes you happy.

#ive been trying to get a morning routine and just get a little better at life stuff but today its been so hard to get out of bed #and when i really examined it it was because i didnt *want to*#i thought about everything i had to do today and i didn't want to do any of it even the things id usually enjoy #so ive started smaller: listening to my favourite songs while i shower and making a nice breakfast #and it's helped a lot!#tips #recovery

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