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#i dont want to talk to anyone else tbh
clits-and-clips · 28 days
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Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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i feel like one of the main draws of the ganonbeck ship is that ganondorf is wildly out of linebeck’s league but it can work anyways
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gammija · 1 year
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ive been trying for 30 mins to write a post about why the Web's plan is still confusing, but I think I should face the truth and admit to myself that it's not that it makes no sense, it's just... so convoluted
#they needed jon to kill jonah cause it seems like only he could call him down#and they couldnt go through with the original plan because.... tbh still not sure on that one. at least not with the reasoning annabelle#gives. assuming that how everything works out now is how they intended it to#which it must be because if jon was ever ever going to consider 'letting anyone else feel that guilt' he sure as hell wasn't now that he#got introduced to the plan while a giant spider dangled his boyfriend above a pit. not conducive to jon cooperation#so originally spidermartin would have driven him to burn the archives and kill jonah. but theyre bond is too strong now so even if martin#would be spiders Jon wouldnt do the plan. .... huh#i just dont get that leap#why does their bond being stronger make jon less willing to burn it all down. so to say#would he want to keep his promise to martin and not become the pupil? but he did! he does! he does even when martin ISNT spiders! aaah#one thing that could make everything more elegant is if Annabelle wasnt telling the whole truth. she says they need to kill 'the pupil'#jon has been described as 'the pupil' as early as s2. and why would the Fears follow his voice on the tapes#and not just stick with his voice in jon the person?#solution; not only does the pupil have to die and the archives burn down at the same time#but jon has to be the pupil when it happens#... except that ALSO doesnt work because according to Jon Annabelle wasnt lying when she said that this would allow them both to 'survive'!#so unless we read the transcript in very bad faith and assume that she was talking about the hypothetical scenario of íf the fears leave;#then youll live; (but for them to leave youll have to die) this solution is out as well#but it would mean theyd need martin unspidered because hed be the only person able to kill jon when hes the pupil because 'it feels right'#(throwback to 178)#tma#tma meta#joos yaps#delete later#a mag a day#tma s5#one nearly incoherent ramble later.....#if anyone has a good Watsonian solution to tie everything up neatly plz link me to a post
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FOR LIKE. CONTEXT. idiot's guide is broken up into two arcs, arc 1 is... almost done i think. hopefully. there's still kind of a ways to go for arc 2
so essentially i'm thinking about, once i do finish writing and editing arc 1, starting to post those chapters on a once a week schedule. then if i haven't finished arc 2 by the time i run out, i'd take a break from posting until it does get finished. if it is finished by then i'll just continue posting lmaofjdsklfjd
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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redstrewn · 10 months
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I wonder if vere doesnt get w anyone bc its just too easy to stop caring about others (im projecting)
Edit: no hes probably too passionate for that. He doesnt wanna get w ppl bc he knows he'll be a slave to love probably.
His fatal flaw is wanting power so love would be a weakness
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pezpenser205 · 21 days
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3am monday morning mood
#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here#op#...........................................................................................................................................#........................................................................................................................#......................................................................................................................#.......................................................................................................................#...........................................................#............................................................#sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason#was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen#i dont have a lot of time#2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do#i feel like im dreaming all the time#'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now#its simple a + b = c math#(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here)#i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still)#i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal.#like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore#everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate.#im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point#when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity#i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore#im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling-#-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore#-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life#i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real.#this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing#i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here#i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all
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gifti3 · 2 months
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Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW
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#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him#im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh)#im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked#like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ)#and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings!#god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb”#sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear)#maybe dont be so dismissive#like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves#and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed#and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance???#like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off#leave it be!#god looking back on all this....#i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things#ppl can change so ill just hope for that#or maybe he'll meet his match#someone who reflects the same energy he has!#tho im not sure if hed like that haha#the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt#but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses#which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own#gotta get context for everything u know#but in this case....naur#like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind!#so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr#im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly#trying to make sure not to make things harder for them#and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset#but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???
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fangedtracks · 11 months
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dad and i have our differences but seeing him was . really good. i love him so much and we talked about. SO much which we rarely do (we're both busy and have anxiety and don't talk unless we Need to)
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theygender · 1 year
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My gf and I have talked about hypothetically opening up our relationship at some point in the future which would make me very happy as a polyamorous person, but I just realized that if that actually happens and I have to go back out on the dating scene I'm gonna have some trouble bc now that I'm more outwardly butch people are gonna expect me to make the first move and I have never made a first move in my entire life
In all of my relationships but two the first move was made by the other person, and I wasn't even the person who made the first move in the other two. In the first one the girl chickened out on her plans to ask me out and then our mutual friend who didn't realize that that had happened outed her by asking me what I said afterwards, and in the second one me and the other person both went to the same friend on the same day to talk about our crushes on each other and then she made us talk about our feelings
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and the first time she tried to ask me on a date she wanted to take me to the theater so she asked me if I had seen the new beauty & the beast movie and then instead of realizing that she was asking me on a date I said that I'd already seen it and gave her a negative review of the movie. And then when she asked me on a date again a few weeks later I had to ask to make sure it was a date when I got there 😭
...And that reminds me of another event in high school where a girl I liked took me to the mall and we walked around holding hands the entire time and then afterwards I had to get one of our mutual friends to ask her if it was supposed to be a date bc I was too nervous and also stupid 😭 Another girl that year asked me to skip class with her and told me that if I flashed my pretty smile at the teacher I could probably get away with it and I had to show the text to my friend to ask if she was flirting. I'm gonna die out there on my own 😭
#rambling#the friend i showed the message to was the same one i made ask the other girl if it was a date#and he didnt even answer he just raised his eyebrow and stared at me like 'really?'#god im just. remembering how stupid i was in high school now#there were two other crushes that i had who may have potentially liked me back and i may have even been told that by multiple people#but i was so deep in my self hatred and also stupid that i didnt think it was possible for them or anyone else to like me 😭#they both were friends of mine and they eventually stopped talking to me completely and i couldnt figure out why#and now i hope its not bc they they thought i was leading them on. bc i wasnt. i was just a massive idiot#you have to explicitly tell me that youre interested in me or want to go on a date or whatever or im not gonna get it#and tbh. that didnt even always work#my first major crush in high school was on a girl who told me directly multiple times that she was into me#but i was even DEEPER in my self hatred at that time#(and also only just figuring out how social interaction worked bc she was helping my autistic ass learn)#so i just. assumed it was a joke. bc no one could have possibly been interested in me and definitely not such an amazing person#i guess at least i have a scrap of self confidence now and im brave enough to ask for clarification now#and if i specifically ask someone on a date at least i would know for sure its a date?#and it could either be lame or cute but i could ask for permission to kiss them. it worked for my gf#i cant interpret signals for shit 😭#i dont even have a valid reason to be thinking about this right now lol its not like i have permission to date anyone else romantically yet#but ive been watching clone high with my gf and abe keeps misinterpreting joan directly saying that she wants him in increasingly dumb ways#and i just keep cringing bc i realized that that was me ahdjsksl....#only difference is in my case it was never bc i was ignoring them for someone else. it was ALWAYS bc i was an idiot#literally i would be there pining for them and every attempt they made would go right over my head#you have to be morosexual and very persistent to date me 😭 or tell a mutual friend whos very persistent ig lol#i know we are All useless lesbians but i think i deserve a medal or smth#ill hang it on my corkboard next to the souvenir that one of my crushes who i didnt think liked me back got for me in high school#which was a plastic license plate that said 'babygirl' on it bc that was her nickname for me 😅#god i really hope people didnt think i was leading them on. imagine someone thinking im a player flirting with a bunch of different girls#without ever making things official. when really if i found out for certain any of them were interested in me i would have died of shock 😭#and if we WERE in fact flirting i wouldnt have realized it. i was just SO scared and SO stupid 😭😭😭
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Hi! I'm trying to get more involved in the Ted Lasso community, and I've seen you around a lot, so I wanted to ask if you had advice? I write sometimes, but I'm not sure if there are any discords or other communities? I'm really enjoying seeing everyone's works!
oh wow! i didn't realize i seemed to get around lgkjhfgh well uhhhh honestly i have never been the best at intentional social...ness. for me, it's mostly a combination of like,
a) i post my writing on ao3 and make silly tumblr posts about what im thinking/ideas i've had/etc, and then like, sometimes i strike up conversation with people who respond, take note of repeat customers/urls i see a lot, that kind of thing
b) there are discords, several--i'm in two, although one is fairly inactive and both are relatively tedependent centered (the smaller one is entirely ted/trent focused, the other is more broadly slash ships in the ted lasso fandom with a large ted/trent shipper presence). i'm not super active in these servers and i'm not really aware of the policy on invites or if they're open?? especially for the bigger one (afc richmond server). but i doubt you couldn't join if you asked around?? maybe off anon, though, not sure.
c) people i know who are already into it lol. few and far in between, though.
but hey, even sending asks isn't a bad way to start engaging with the community--whether just thoughts you've had, questions about what thoughts they have or fics they're writing or anything else. or responding to posts and commenting on fics (if you want to start a conversation in the comments section of a fic, i recommend detail and maybe a question or two--chances are the author would love to talk with you about their fic!), or, of course, sharing your own posts/fic/art/etc!
have fun and good luck!
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princekirijo · 7 months
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I do really want to talk more about my OCs and stuff more consistently because I think I'm at the point now where it's like "this is my blog and if people get annoyed by it they'll just unfollow so go wild" but the problem now is I just. Don't know what to say 💀 like what do people want to know 💀
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years
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behold my twst stardew / general farming sim au multiverse bc i also have lots of influence from harvest moon / story of seasons in my life lol. this is all just. barely scratching the surface of ideas ive had for Them. and by au multiverse i just mean i cant ever settle on One Concrete Idea to stick with ksdljfds
 i was gonna type out a bunch of explanations of everything + general bonus lore once i was done but i ended up doodling for Hours and it’s after midnight and my body is shaking with desperation to sleep SO
perhapeth another post l o l
can u tell which characters i never draw lol..................... 😭
EDIT more parts: [2] [3] [4]
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palestinalibre · 10 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/anxiouslarrie/691238158115962880/x?source=share
I am super interested in talking about this with you. Could you please share ur opinion on this all???
Hi, anon
#ohhh thats an old tag post#i went to read the full article again and ufff. specially the second part gives a looot of food for thought doesnt it#it's such a complex subject#tbh anon i dont feel like opening the doors of hell up on me and talking about it on main#just bc not everyone understands thats not black and white and talking about how societal norms and situations may impact their fave too#bc he is just a person as anyone else#is not a bad thing per se#and on the other side. there's people who can't get a grasp on how he is in fact a person and he shouldnt be put into such high standards#or we shouldnt feel like he owes us or ''the public'' anything related to his personal life or how he chooses to display his public image#i saw your other ask and although I agree with some of it. as I said I think it's a very complex and mutifaced discussion#i dont think internalised homophobia and being ashamed are necessarily the same#and about the donny thing. well idk. it's a lot of speculation and ofc it mightve had some impact. but tbh how could we know how much it#was that. how much it was the media training and industry trauma. and how much it's just not as deep as we are looking into it#and about the personality/real persona thing. it's kind of the same. first of all there being a shift on personality/presentation towards us#is completely normal bc he (we) went from being a child to being an adult. people change. so it doesnt necessarily have to be a persona#and secondly. to analyse why that shift happened and if part/all of it goes back to what you say/article says. aaaaalso complicated#basically it's a very interesting discussion but as I said I dont feel like opening up discourse 😭#if you want to talk about it in private you can totally message me#(it might take me long to answer sometimes but thats just me being me💀)#anon
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ethicstownpod · 2 years
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This has a point - bear with me! I turned twenty-two a non-specified number of days ago. I was at work. My colleagues, upon learning this, got me a card and a cake and threw me a party before our DnD game. They put all this together in the span of my right hour shift; I've only worked there six months. My colleagues are some of my favourite people in the whole world.
My flatmate loves tiktok, an app I despise. But every day she saves rat videos, and then shows them to me when I get home from work/class. My other flatmate once hand-drew me wrapping paper of a hideous little cartoon man because he knew it would make me laugh.
My cousin, who’s eight, always asks everyone else if they want to play with his X-box before he does. There’s a girl in my class who always stops people on the way out to tell them she really liked the points they were making in discussions that day. Every discord server I’ve ever been in has a channel for sharing pictures of your pet. I’ve never met a person who doesn’t want to brag about their friends. I love when you make a baby laugh on the bus, so they try to make you laugh in return.
And now the point! The point is that I think people are so good. So unbelievably, fundamentally good. And I want to write people like that. Even when they’re not being actively good, there’s So Much Good inside of them. There are so many wonderful people in my life, I feel I would be doing them a disservice by not portraying just how amazing people can be.
#writing#positivity#ethics town#writeblr#podcast#and for ppl who like reading tags here's a nice story about rhys (january rhys)#the first time we met he asked me what i wanted to do#like as a job#and usually i dont tell ppl or lie bc its embarrassing but i thought 'this is such a nice boy and and ill never see him again#(lolllll) may as well tell him' so i did#and he was like 'wow thats so neat i bet youd be good at that ppl could do with that my friend does that you should talk!'#yknow bc hes adorable#anyway its like 2 1/2 months later were at a mutual friends b-day. weve spoken about like 1 work thing in the interim bc#rhys aint big on discord and i really have no need to be talking to cast most of the time and like we dont really know each well tbh#but he asks me how my thing i want to do for a job is going and for just a second i genuinely think im going to cry#ive never told ANYONE i wanna do this before. so ive never been asked about this before. and more than that this was a maybe three minute#conversation we had amidst a 50 hour w/ 3 hours of sleep weekend during which time many more interesting topics were covered#why and how tf he remembered that will always be lost on me. but i said 'yeah slow but its happening' and he said 'good i hope you do it'#and then i segued wildly before i did cry at someone elses party#anyway ppl are so great#just so so unbelievably great#there isnt really an end to that story the thing i wanna do takes a reeeeally really long time#buuuuut rhys and i are actual friends now (in case you cant tell by the Everything i say about him lol). which is nice
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sol-falloutblog · 16 days
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I honestly started critiquing FNV a bit more harshly just because fans of it can be kind of annoying about the game. I'm not unreasonable about it though, I do still stand by my overall observation of FNV being biphobic. Not saying any of the games are any better BUT Ive never really seen anyone actually point this out, Ive seen plenty of other critiques of FNV but not this specifically.
Some might have a knee jerk reaction to the use of the word and maybe I could just phrase it as "FNV has poor bi rep," but honestly I don't see a point in doing that since they are the same thing.
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