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i-like-plan-m · 3 years

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the wind on another star

[On Ao3]

Lan Zhan wondered if pirates, of all things, were going to succeed where dozens of far superior fighters had tried and failed to kill him before.

The wide open void of space mocked him. Millions of escape routes within sight, and all worthless to him with a sabotaged hyperdrive and navigation system. The Hanguang-Jun was stranded in the middle of nowhere and caught in the crosshairs of a rather established band of mercenaries who doubled as pirates when they were between paid jobs.

Lan Zhan stood at the helm of his wounded starship and watched the empty escape pods drift away with so much fury he half expected them to explode.

Su She had conned his way onto Lan Zhan’s ship, hacked the navigation controls to drop them out of hyperspace and straight into the heart of a company of heavily armed mercenaries, and taken the only escape pod that he hadn’t already ejected into space.

Lan Zhan’s crew was trapped. Lan Zhan was trapped-- his ship’s weapon systems were mostly offline, brought partially back to life only by Lan Jingyi’s sheer desperation and skill. It wasn’t nearly enough to keep a dozen fighter planes and two cruisers at bay.

“Ambush,” Mianmian said tightly from beside him. “This was carefully planned, Captain.”

“What did we ever do to piss off these guys?” Lan Jingyi asked over the open comms, an edge of panic to his voice that made Lan Zhan’s mouth twist. It was his fault that his cousin was here in the first place, after all; he’d offered him a position on his ship due in part to Lan Jingyi’s skills and also to get him out of Lan Qiren’s hair. Apparently a too-clever, loud mouthed teenager trapped in the peaceful City of Clouds in Gusu had driven everyone up the wall.

He’d reminded Lan Zhan of Wei Ying-- the irrepressible character, the frequent mischief, a voice that ricocheted off of steel walls like a blaster shot. He was joy and humor and noise, a welcome change from the solemn silence aboard the Hanguang-Jun. It made him think of things loved and lost, bittersweet memories that perhaps made him more lenient with Lan Jingyi than his family would approve of.

And Lan Zhan had brought him straight into a trap, likely to be picked off by power hungry mercenaries or held as a hostage.

Even as the thought crossed his mind, the control panel beeped urgently, warning him that the cruisers had locked their missiles onto the Hanguang-Jun.

So they had decided to kill him after all.

His brother would be devastated, Lan Zhan thought distantly.

“I’ve still got the sonics,” Mianmian said, strapping herself into the copilot’s seat and reaching for the weapons controls. As his security expert and weapons master, Mianmian had seen them through insurmountable odds before; she remained as cool as ever under the flashing red warning lights. “I can pick off the missiles as they come, unless they unload several at once on us.”

“Can we use them to hit first?” Lan Jingyi asked, breathing heavily as he worked in the overheated mechanical room. “No one in the galaxy can counter Lan sonic tech.”

“They’re out of range,” Mianmian said regretfully.

“They haven’t attempted to hail us?” Lan Zhan asked, staring the largest cruiser down as it loomed over them in a blatant attempt to intimidate them. He suspected there was more at play here-- cruisers like this cost serious money, and even if simple mercenary crews got their hands on one, they didn’t keep them long. But two? Lan Zhan knew a set up when he saw it.

Lan Jingyi-- their mechanic and communications officer, because he was “skilled like that”-- made a sound of disgust. “No. So much for intergalactic law, right?”

“So many for just us,” Mianmian said, scowling out the front shield. “That’s half a damn army out there.”

The Hanguang-Jun had a reputation, though. Lan Zhan and his tiny crew went where the chaos was, and recently they’d taken on a number of jobs that had required the full force of their combined skill and strategy to survive. Except they’d not only survived, they’d demolished multiple bands of the rogue mercenaries that wandered the galaxy, terrorizing the helpless colonies too small or poor to defend themselves.

Someone had been paying attention, it seemed. And they had gone so far as to plant a spy-- Su She, hired only a week ago as extra support-- to lead them to an ambush in the middle of nowhere.

No one would know of their deaths for some time; the largest cruiser had an active jammer to block any distress signals, and Lan Zhan wasn’t due for a check in with his family for weeks.

He regretted the deaths of his crew. His friends. The loss his brother and uncle would soon face. And, privately, Lan Zhan regretted that he would never find Wei Ying. The bright, brilliant boy who’d vanished entirely after the Sunshot Wars, wherein the galaxy had come together to bring down Wen Ruohan before he could harness a sun’s energy to demolish entire planets.

So much left unsaid. But Wei Ying had broken the Wen remnants out of a prison world and disappeared into the darkness between the stars. No one knew where he’d gone. If he was alive. If they’d ever see him again.

Lan Zhan, it seemed, would never find out.

“Our shields?” He asked quietly, gripping the sleek rail separating the pilots’ seats from the rest of the control room so tightly his knuckles were white.

“In tatters,” Lan Jingyi said, trying to sound brave and landing somewhere around apprehensive. “I’m doing my best, Captain, but…”

“It’s alright,” Lan Zhan said gently. “We will try the sonic cannons.”

Mianmian’s eyes flickered to him, but she kept quiet. They both knew it would only take one missed shot to destroy their ship, and they were laughably outnumbered. But the comms were open and Lan Jingyi was listening intently from the engine room, so they kept their mutual understanding nonverbal.

“Well. It’s been an honor, Captain,” she murmured, too low for the comm line to pick up.

“For me as well,” Lan Zhan said, and dropped his hands to the pilot controls. He would try to help Mianmian dodge missiles as best he could, despite the futility of the situation.

The beeping became frantic, screaming in urgency as the second cruiser locked onto them. The cockpit was dim, lit only by the flashing warning lights that cast them in hues of red.

They waited, braced for the first burst of light that would signal a dispatched missile, surrounded on all sides, caught in a killing field with no way out.

Three bright souls on the cusp of darkness, facing a death that would leave them floating adrift in the eternal expanse of space. Not so terrible an end, he supposed, for a crew of wayfarers.

Mianmian suddenly jerked in place. “What the...?”

Lan Zhan’s attention snapped to her, wondering if he’d missed the beginning of the execution. He followed her baffled gaze, and then froze at the sight of a mid-sized, battered red cruiser dropping out of hyperspace, right on top of the armada.

He knew that cruiser. Had seen it only once, when a small collection of Wen prisoners had boarded it in the midst of a fierce storm with a slender, defiant figure guarding their escape.

The Yílíng Lǎozǔ drifted casually along, drawing the attention of the armada when its heavy artillery cannons dropped into active position. Half of the mercenaries turned their starships around to face the new threat.

“Is that who I think it is?” Mianmian whispered. Lan Zhan could not answer, though the hope in her voice matched the rising sun of his own.

“Is what who you think it is? What’s happening?” Lan Jingyi asked. They didn’t answer, too focused on the Yílíng Lǎozǔ and its unhurried course through the mercenaries’ ranks. Neither took much notice when he skidded into the cockpit to join them, breathing hard with wide, fever-bright eyes.

MianMian made a noise low in her throat when one of the cruisers disengaged their missile lock and turned it onto the Yílíng Lǎozǔ. “They’re going to get blown into pieces, why aren’t they moving out of range?”

Lan Zhan didn’t even notice the moment he stood, so tense his bones felt as though they’d shatter into pieces at a single touch. Wei Ying, what are you doing?

As if in answer, the largest cruiser angled to give chase to the Yílíng Lǎozǔ-- and exploded so abruptly and violently that Lan Zhan nearly staggered back in shock. Mianmian swore in mingled fear and delight, and Lan Jingyi exclaimed similar feelings at the top of his lungs.

“They dropped mines, did you see that?” She asked, leaning forward with bright eyes. “Completely off the radar-- we didn’t get so much as a blip, and this radar’s the only damn thing that is working on this ship.”

“Wei Ying has always been inventive,” Lan Zhan said, chest tight with something huge and undefinable.

“Fucking brilliant is what he is,” Mianmian said, and then made a face. “Don’t you dare tell him I said that.”

That implied Lan Zahn was going to see him, which promptly overrode every other thought in his head and made him feel as though he’d been struck in the head with a Lan sonic cannon.

Debris from the destroyed cruiser littered the battlefield, briefly hiding the Yílíng Lǎozǔ from sight.

“They won’t fall for that trick twice,” Mianmian muttered, leaning forward. “Careful, now.”

And then, so suddenly Lan Zhan and Mianmian made twin noises of shock, the starships closest to the Hanguang-Jun exploded. He thought at first it was another trick with the mines, but--

A ripple of darkness rocketed past the nose of their ship, far too fast to track. It was utterly undetectable except for the trail of destruction it left behind. The starship moved at impossible speeds; not even the Nie’s most advanced fighters could move like that, and they were the foremost engineers in the galaxy.

It took another moment, during which starships blew up like a pre-planned chain reaction, for Lan Zhan to realize there were two of these ships-- starfighters, combat aircraft built for speed and stealth. They worked off of each other like they were a hive mind, targeting clusters of enemy ships and annihilating them with some unknown invisible weapon that pulverized the ships into fragments.

A series of explosions along the remaining cruiser nearly tore it in half. Lan Jingyi whooped as it careened wildly out of control and erupted into blinding light.

Lan Zhan’s focus, though, was drawn inexplicably to the shimmer of darkness flitting through the ranks of the armada, slipping into impossibly narrow spaces, performing acrobatics that only someone absolutely fearless would even dream of.

Wei Ying had always taken “attempt the impossible” to heart.

“Look!” Lan Jingyi exclaimed, pointing outside their windshield to a furrow in the black void of space. A third ship, this one hovering just beside the Hanguang-Jun as a clear threat-- come any closer, and you’d be decimated like the rest of the ruined armada. Lan Jingyi waved, and the ripple of black dipped low and then back into place.

“What kind of weapon is that?” Mianmian wondered, watching in awe as a single shot from one of Wei Ying’s starfighters dissolved a starship into particles.

Lan Zhan remembered Wei Ying’s theories on dark matter, and he wondered.

It did not take long for the battle to end. None of the ships even had a chance to escape, and any that tried were chased down within a few heartbeats and destroyed.

The communications system blipped as the two starfighters finished off the remaining enemies. Lan Jingyi looked at Lan Zhan in question, who nodded and waited for him to open the channel to say, “This is Lan Zhan, Captain of the Hanguang-Jun.”

“Hello, Captain,” someone replied. A young man, by the sounds of it, and politely cheerful. “Our captain has asked me to escort you to the Yílíng Lǎozǔ, if you are amenable.”

That was almost certainly not the way Wei Ying had likely worded it. Lan Zhan found himself wanting to smile. “I am amenable,” he said. “My ship is badly damaged and in need of repair.”

“We can help with that,” the boy replied, and was then interrupted by a voice that made Lan Zhan’s stomach swoop violently.

“Lan Zhan! Are you really going to let me put my grubby hands all over your shiny ship?”

He closed his eyes, emotion swelling in his chest. “Wei Ying can put his hands on anything of mine he wishes,” he said calmly, and meant every word.

He heard a squawk, a faint crash followed by an angry beep, and then a third voice calling in concern, “Wei-gongzi!”

“I’m fine, Wen Ning,” Wei Ying said hastily. Lan Zhan eyed the small piece of debris spinning away into the void, as though it had been clipped by the wing of a starfighter, perhaps.

“Ah,” Wei Ying laughed. “Lan Zhan, I didn’t expect you to have jokes now! I’ve missed a lot, it seems.”

“I have missed more.” Too much, if Wei Ying had made advancements like this; he’d clearly discovered some secret to the universe and left the rest of them far behind.

Lan Zhan had let him slip between his fingers once before. He was tired of being left behind.

“Wen Qing is bringing the Yílíng Lǎozǔ to you,” Wei Ying said with more warmth than Lan Zhan deserved. He had, after all, let Wei Ying down all those years ago. “I’ll see you soon, Lan Zhan.”

“Soon,” Lan Zhan agreed, and let the comm line fall to silence.

Soon. He felt his heart skip a beat in anticipation. Soon he would be face to face with Wei Ying again, the boy he’d loved and lost before he truly understood the potential for what it was, too busy being offended by the concept of his own stupid infatuation.

Soon, Lan Zhan thought again, and his tiny, hopeful smile was witnessed solely by the blanket of darkness and the glittering, luminous lights of a nearby star. A secret of his own, held between him and a universe full of possibility.

#my fics #my writing #the untamed #wangxian #wei ying #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #space drama #lan jingyi #mianmian #luo qingyang #wen ning #wen qing #wen yuan #a yuan #lan sizhui #mdzs #ficlets

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thefossilwhale · 3 years

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i filled out this super cool button character profile by @extraordinarymage for sabrina! thank you for making this, it was a lot of fun to fill out <3 the bulk of it is under a cut and oh boy is it long !!!

Short, Quick Reference

Name: Sabrina Wiseman

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: Kent

Main personality trait: Confidence

Secondary personality trait: Morbidity

Relationship with Nick: Full of love, haunted by unaddressed guilt and frustration. But mostly full of love.

Nickname for Nick: Saint Nick (used sparingly)

Resentful or accepting?: Slightly resentful

Main strategy (interpersonal, insightful, innovative?): Insightful

Ethical or expedient?: Expedient

GENERAL

Name: Sabrina Larkspur Wiseman

Nickname(s): Sab, used by anyone; Sabby, only Nick and Sally; and, of course, Button for Nick.

Birthday: I think I made her an October Libra for the purpose of a template I did months ago, but I’m not sure! No concrete birthday yet, I’m always very slow to nail down details like this.

Age: 20

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hair color + style: Blonde. A little past shoulder length, sometimes wavy. Usually a middle part. For Aeon, tied back in a bun.

Eye color: Blue, entirely because of the section of Frank O’Hara’s “Meditations in an Emergency” that goes, “My eyes are vague blue, like the sky...”

Height: 5′5

Piercings: Multiple in each ear, but a couple have started to close.

Tattoos: None yet! Sab likes the idea of a tattoo but is worried about finding the perfect design, whether she’d end up hating it, that the pain might be greater than she expects and she’ll look like a baby in front of her tattoo artist. I’d like to think she eventually consults Sally and/or Glitch to come up with an idea that she falls in love with, but I haven’t come up with what that would be!

Clothing style: Mostly solid colors, not a lot of patterns. Nothing super bright, but a fairly varied mix of pastels, neutrals, dark colors, black. Partial to denim skirts and sweater tops. Ankle boots. Likes a good turtleneck. She’s bolder when it comes to formal wear, and especially loves suits. Big fan of silk and satin.

Since she has a pretty accurate face claim, I’ll link some gifsets I’ve rb’d for appearance ref if you are so inclined.

STATS

I’m always adjusting minor things and swapping scenes around, but these are from my most recent Sab run! Most scores hover somewhere around these values.

Personality:

Confidence: 53%

Humor: 5%

Morbidity: 22%

Resentful: 57% | Accepting: 43%

Strategy:

Interpersonal: 12%

Insightful: 50%

Innovative: 10%

Ethical: 43% | Expedient: 57%

KEY DECISIONS:

What is Nick’s nickname and why?: Saint Nick, used very rarely. It’s a joking reference to the time she thought Santa was an evil Ment out to ruin Christmas, and a point about Nick overdoing it with the cheer. “Saint Nick” is usually code for “I know you mean well, but please mind your own business.” Otherwise, she just calls him Nick.

What is their favorite type of cookie (and its name and why?): Salted caramel chocolate chip! No special name.

What was their initial reaction to Sally hugging them, as kids?: She just froze. That could just be me projecting adult Sabrina onto her childhood self; I don’t imagine that she was as uncomfortable around strangers or quite as cautious back then. But that’s what I’ll stick with.

How did they ace the ASE test?: The in-game option she takes is “My entire life has revolved around strategic avoidance,” but the one about being just plain smart also sounds like her. If Sab has the chance to thoroughly (over)prepare for something, she will do it. Her mind blindness also has her constantly (over)analyzing situations. So, hard work and relentless anxiety!

Did they manage to win their first assignment? How?: Yes, by having Sally block the door. I’ve headcanoned some slight differences in how it plays out, which I wrote about in-depth here. To summarize, Sab thinks of blocking the door as a desperate last resort, not a clever loophole, and she pushes back against Rosy’s praise because she wishes she could have done it the “real” way. Rosy goes from being impressed to being annoyed that she’s willfully missing the point.

What was the primary emotion Button felt during the Aeon bombing (love, gratitude, etc?): Guilt. She feels very guilty about how much Nick has given up for her in general, but I think that in the moment, it’s on a smaller scale. The fact that Nick was on the phone with her when it happened, coming to her rescue like always, becomes emblematic of their whole relationship for her, and she really fixates on that.

Who drove them home from the hospital from and why?: Glitch. Sab responds to her initial text with “Are you sure?”, and is relieved when Glitch takes that as “Yes, please.” She doesn’t relish the idea of being around someone more connected to her family or Nick at that point.

How do they feel about Nick riding around in their mind?: Worried, at first. Just because it’s so unknown and absolutely insane. After seeing Doctor Amari, she’s excited! Sab is thrilled to be a Pollard Five and intends to take full advantage of it. I am not looking forward to seeing how she reacts when that’s taken away from her.

Why did Button agree to do the undercover mission?: To prove she still deserves to be an MIV. Sabrina feels stupid and reckless for putting herself, Nick, and Aeon in this position, but she knows she’s smart, and she hasn’t worked this hard for nothing. She wants to prove what she could do with a normal Pollard Score and make herself too valuable to give up even when she’s back to Zero.

Told Glitch about your mind blindness?: Depends on the playthrough. I’m constantly going back and forth on whether Sab meets Glitch for coffee or wanders the city with Nick in her second chapter 5 slot (after trying to track down Kent). If she does meet Glitch, though, she absolutely tells her; with how touchy Sab is about privacy, she couldn’t stomach not warning Glitch that Nick could hear everything they said.

Figured out K’s secret?: Nope. She finds enough of the clues to be given the “I knew it!” option in-game, but she didn’t actually put it together. Sab is too angry and embarrassed by learning that Kent is an AMO to find any reason to interrogate it. “The random guy I met before school just happens to be a jerk” is a perfectly sound explanation to her.

Found Noh’s clues?: Not at the metro station. Sometimes she sees the Vengeance brooms in chapter 5 (again, depending on the playthrough), but that’s it.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:

Love Interest: Kent

Why them?: Sab feels an immediate kinship with Kent after learning about the NPO program. It’s kind of funny how quickly he moves from the least sympathetic position in her eyes (Ment who got past me and read my mind without my knowledge) to the most sympathetic (non-powered child of a prominent family aiming a league above where he “belongs”). A lot of new respect for his competence. Her fate is sealed when she realizes that his kindness at the hospital wasn’t him trying to make up for some wrongdoing, but just him being very sweet. (She had scoffed over “You needed help.” But now she’s like, “Oh. He meant that?! Fuck.”)

As they spend more time together, Sab realizes how weirdly similar they are in other ways, too. And she starts to feel safe/secure around him in a way that she’s extremely not used to. Growing up surrounded by Ments, Sab has a lot of issues about being too much, too difficult, needing to “be worthy” of love. So someone like Kent who is not a Ment, who has no “obligation” to care about her, and whose judgement she trusts implicitly? Being around him and being loved by him mean a lot, and I think will go a long way towards helping her reflect on her other relationships!

What are their first impressions of each other?: Okay, there are like 3 first impressions with Kent. First: he’s tall and handsome and secretly adorable, and they have similar career goals, so she’s drafting a five-month plan to woo him and get his number. Second: he’s a lying, self-obsessed loser who owes her many explanations. Third: oh no, the first impression was true! And he’s been continually, selflessly kind to her in spite of her overt hostility. Scratch the five-month plan, because the crush was only fun when it was entirely superficial; now she really, really likes him and that just sucks.

We know that Button makes a good impression on K by stopping for their dogs, but apart from that... I mean, the “we confused each other” from chapter 7 is very apt. Sab has lots of shifting personas, and Kent sees pretty much every one within 24 hours. The prevailing impression before everything gets cleared up is probably just that she cares a lot? About everything? Her stopping for the dogs, how seriously she takes the first assignment, the way she seems so deeply affected by something he said or did that morning. It’s a rare side of her to meet first because she usually pretends to be above everything.

What feature does your Button find most attractive in their RO (ex. appearance, personality, etc.)?: Probably his composure. And his... steadfastness? The way he seems unruffled by anything, his soothing presence. She really admires that about him and finds the calm contagious.

What do they do to spend time together?: Going on drives together! Kent driving while Sab plays songs she thinks he’ll like, talking or not talking. Cuddling on the couch while reading their own separate books. Museum dates. Walking the dogs together.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: I imagine that the first month or so of their relationship would be difficult, just because they’re both bad at expressing themselves and not used to relying on other people. Kent kind of negates a lot of Sab’s impulses to get defensive or hostile, so instead of arguments, I think there are more likely to be awkward periods where she’s just stewing in something without addressing it. Most of their fights would be, like, one of them becoming really distant for a concerning number of days until the other tries to awkwardly check in on them.

What does their future look like?: Uhh some random lore: I think eventually they do get married, despite neither of them caring that much about it. Sabrina would be excited to have something to plan, and she knows it would make the people around her happy. They have a long engagement; there’s never really an “official” proposal, just an acknowledgement that yeah, they’ll get married one day, and then eventually they get rings. The engagement is almost Sab’s favorite part, honestly. She likes planning and showing off her ring and calling Kent her fiancé, a lot of fanfare on her part for a wedding that ends up being very modest and chill.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Nick: When I first started developing Sab, I thought that with as difficult/prickly as she can be, her relationship with Nick would be worse than it is. Never bad, but certainly strained, with more jealousy/resentment on her side. However, she rejected this. She is resentful, but never towards Nick—she internalizes the negative parts of their relationship so they manifest as guilt instead. And that’s the problem, not resentment. Sab thinks he’s overprotective, but that doesn’t make her angry; it just makes her sad. She wishes things were different and he didn’t feel so responsible for her, but she also doesn’t know how she could manage without him taking on so many of her burdens. So, guilt! So much love, but always looming guilt.

Having Nick in her head has helped. It’s added a new kind of guilt (“I’m a horrible person for being so giddy that people can’t hear my thoughts even though that requires my brother to be in a coma”), but getting inside Nick’s head for once and really feeling his love for her changes things. Makes her feel way more secure, I guess? It’s easier to see her brother as human person, a friend who loves her, rather than a perfect selfless paragon who sacrificed everything to raise her, which is an important shift.

There are also Things happening with self-presentation in the fact that they’re both models, and flirts, and pretend to be shallow. And the ways that they’ve responded to vastly different expectations. And selflessness versus selfishness. But I have no idea how to talk about that yet.

Relationship with Father: Strained and distant. Sabrina doesn’t necessarily blame him for leaving, but she hates how he’s handled it. She’s incredibly frustrated that John insists on keeping them in this miserable limbo of uncomfortable visits, even though moving away was (to her) a tacit acknowledgement that she and her parents are better off without each other. He’s trying to force a relationship that Sab thinks is ultimately harmful for everyone involved. For Nick’s sake, she’s willing to grin and bear the visits, but it never works because John can obviously tell it’s an act. He pushes her, she gets defensive, and so on to infinity.

Relationship with Mother: Like with John, Sab doesn’t resent Hope for the incident itself, or for leaving afterward. It was terrifying, and the idea of being around Hope makes her panic—but she thinks of that as just another irrational anxiety symptom, and she’s trying to work through it. What she does resent Hope for is letting it get to that point at all. Sab is incredibly bitter that Hope will suffer silently to the point of almost killing her (during the incident) and potentially herself (with the BRS), while Sab has no choice but to be completely open. Especially because they’re so similar in that way—she’s almost jealous. “Oh, so your silence is allowed to almost kill me and it’s ‘nobody’s fault’ but I can’t pretend to enjoy a single lunch with Dad without him calling me out for lying?”

And even though she doesn’t hold the incident itself against her, Sab is very hung up on “Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?” She knows, on some level, that this was not a Personal Judgement against her. But because Hope keeps so much quiet, this is the only honest expression of her mother’s feelings that she can remember! It would take a lot for Sab to believe that Hope was really, genuinely interested in reconnecting with her, rather than just pretending to love her "enough” this time because to do otherwise would reflect poorly on Hope as a mother.

Relationship with Sally: Besties <3 Sally is the only member of the Wiseman inner circle that Sab doesn’t have complicated feelings about. They both have hidden morbid streaks that they bring out in each other, and can laugh about. They both have competitive streaks that work well together because they’re always on the same team. And their wants/needs from the relationship complement each other well, I think. Sally has always felt valued because she’s useful and not because she’s loved, while Sab has always felt smothered by love/care without feeling like she genuinely adds value to other people’s lives. So it means a lot to both of them that they’re able to help each other practically, while also genuinely loving and supporting each other outside of that.

Relationship with Gray: Full of trust and genuine care, but predicated on distance. Sab loves him a lot for being so careful not to cross any boundaries, physical or emotional, with her. She’s grateful that he’s there for Nick in a way that she doesn’t feel she can be. But "I like Gray because he doesn’t push me and is good to Nick” means that any hand he extend makes her defensive, because she’ll either view him as an emissary of Nick or start to panic because their normal routine is being disrupted (she doesn’t tell him about Hope in ch 3, for example).

They get along very well in a friend-of-a-friend sort of way, and bond over being cautious counterparts to Nick. Also, Sab never had a crush on Gray, but she is not immune to tall superhero and thinks it’s fun to fake flirt with him. (You know Isabela’s “You have pretty eyes” routine from DA2? Sab does that to Gray when conversations steer towards things she’d rather not talk about.)

Relationship with Glitch: I’m really excited about these two! They click from the start, and Sabrina feels immediately comfortable around Glitch, which makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable whenever she catches herself. Externally, they have pretty different personalities, but they’re both perceptive and... socially manipulative? aware of their self-presentation?... in ways that they both pick up on right away. So it’s a lot of conversational maneuvering and trying to figure out what the other’s game is, while also genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

Relationship with Kent/Kenna: I could go truly insane here. See the romance section above instead.

Relationship with Kim: Sab wants him to like her sooooo bad. He’s one of the only people to ever really get through to her, re: my headcanon conversation after the first assignment. Authority figures tend to treat her as special, whether that’s negatively because of her mind blindness or positively because she’s such an overachiever. She had no idea how to respond to that not being the case (and didn’t handle it well at first), but chapter 6 solidifies her respect for him.

It also turns Rosy’s opinion of Sab around; he was impressed by her in class but left his office thinking she was self-absorbed and naive. But the bombing is a reality check, and her response is very measured and practical in a way that surprises him.

Relationship with Lev: She doesn’t mind the comparisons to Nick or the “maybe one day they’ll fix you” comments as much as you might think. They aren’t her favorite, but she prefers that sort of thing to the inspirational platitudes belied by coddling that she got from her family growing up. Sab has fond memories of Lev and is grateful that he’s always been kind to her, but doesn’t have any particular feelings apart from that.

Relationship with Clarence: Holds a grudge against him for causing a scene, making her late, and generally being a jerk. But she can’t fault him for being right, after what happened! Mostly she just wants to avoid him, but she’ll be thrilled to lord her success over him if/when she proves herself.

Relationship with Dean Branham: Like Rosy, another authority figure that Sab desperately wants to impress. But without the personal investment she has in Rosy’s validation, more “Oh, this person is in charge, so I should make her like me!” Despite Nick’s and Rosy’s reservations, Sabrina doesn’t really have a problem with being “strongarmed” or manipulated into cooperating; for now, she figures Branham was just doing her job and respects her tactics.

Relationship/attitude towards Ments in general: Mostly just uncomfortable and wary around them. Sab doesn’t want her mind read, and she figures that no Ment wants to be forced to read it either. So she has a pretty strict “no Ments” rule for close personal relationships (excluding Nick, Sally, and Gray, of course. But only Nick really counts because he’s the only one who can hear her thoughts whenever she’s nearby). Not out of hatred or resentment, just because she knows it will be easier for everyone in the long run.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): Not many, but yes! Sab dated around a lot in the 2 years before Aeon (more like year and a half, because she completely shut it down once she was more focused on preparing for the MIV program), but there are 2 relationships that were formative/important for her. A high school sweetheart, and someone Sab met through modeling. She doesn’t keep up with her high school ex, but the model is her best friend outside of Sally and Nick, and they still keep in touch! I’m still developing them/the relationships, and I’ll probably post more about them someday. They’re fun!

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: Confusing and contradictory. She has two main modes that confuse people who meet both (e.g., Kent). She’s either cold, stuck-up, and sometimes hostile, OR she’s charming, frivolous, and sometimes flirty. Mode 1 is tense but stoic and inexpressive; mode 2 is seemingly relaxed but very posed and insincere. Mode 1 is for when she feels uncertain or has no agenda apart from “get to point B”; mode 2 is for when she’s more comfortable or trying to manipulate someone. Her actual personality is a bit closer to the second, but she doesn’t pretend not take things seriously or hide when she’s annoyed.

Strengths: Analytical, methodical, detail-oriented. Very driven and hardworking. May not always act like it, but does have social skills/charisma; a great liar, if you can’t read her mind. Unfailingly loyal and loving to her favorite people, so so so warm and affectionate and supportive if she really loves you. Very perceptive.

Weaknesses: Way too proud. Can be petty and vindictive. Self-absorbed (she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s hard for her to see past herself sometimes). Stubborn, hates being wrong. And... emotional isn’t the word, but strong negative emotions can really cloud her judgement. It ties into her being proud, petty, and stubborn; if she’s really upset about something, she can cling to that emotion instead of re-evaluating it or moving forward.

Phobias: From this ask about the phobias that are planned to show up in-game, there are a few that I could see fitting Sab, but I want to wait to see how they’re implemented before I fully commit. Which is very metagame-y, I know (and I am very metagame-y about IF), but “fear of X” is so broad that it really does depend on when/how it manifests in the text.

That being said, agoraphobia is almost a lock; crowds do make Sab very anxious if she can’t keep track of everyone within a certain distance, and if she can’t leave when she starts feeling antsy. Claustrophobia is a maybe. The choice that triggers it (in chapter 4, about hating MRI machines) suits Sab, but I’m not sure if she hates MRI machines because she hates tight spaces, or if it’s more related to her general anxiety about hospitals, medical tests, etc. Which she definitely has!

What activities/club did they do in school?: She avoided anything group-oriented as far as possible. She took piano (maybe violin?) lessons and did recitals, but wasn’t in orchestra. The one exception was maybe National Honor Society or some equivalent, which she would have joined for her resume’s sake. And I think she would have tutored!

Where do they escape to when they need space?: A little used library corner, where she can people watch without being seen/heard.

How do they feel about/cope with their mind blindness?: Sab hates it but tries not to dwell on it. She knows that it’s no one’s fault, and she mainly just tries to... minimize it? Drown out her thoughts, limit her contact with Ments. And, least healthily, very rigidly managing herself. Because there’s so much of her that exists outside of herself, without her control, she tries to either filter or completely suppress everything else. Part of why she got into modeling, she can perform and be perfect and have total control over the final product of her body in the photographs for whatever campaign. Some Day This Will Be Better. But definitely not where she is in current canon.

How has your Button changed since the Incident with Hope?: Developed many new anxieties and disorders and syndromes :) She also became way more self-conscious, as in literally conscious of and way more tightly monitoring herself, what she’s thinking, what she’s expressing, how she’s sitting, etc. Less emotive face, more rigid posture.

If they weren’t an Aeon student, what would they be doing?: Sab would have beaten herself up forever if she “proved everyone right” by avoiding Unity/Ments entirely, so she’d want to stay in the family business somehow. She probably would have ended up doing scientific research on mental agility. Maybe even working for Mirrortech or some other biotech company, which I imagine would have been an interesting conversation to have with the family.

RANDOM FACTS:

Zodiac sign: Like I said, I assigned her Libra months ago for the sake of a template. But I don’t know enough about astrology to commit. Libra or Leo, probably.

Hobbies: Music, reading poetry, “cooking” (i.e., sitting on the counter and not helping while Nick makes dinner)

Likes: Watching other people (Nick) play video games, dressing up, taking long showers/baths, dark chocolate with caramel, back hugs

Dislikes: Being patronized, hot weather, going to the doctor, driving, doing anything she is not good at

Type of bedsheets: Bamboo.

Drink of choice: Cucumber mint lemonade! For hot drinks, some kind of caramel coffee. For alcohol, she refuses to get drunk because she’s terrified of having even less control of her mental broadcast, but at home/around people she trusts she’ll have a glass or two of wine. Doesn’t know enough to be picky, but doesn’t like it too sweet.

Favorite food: Probably some pasta dish Nick makes with asparagus and tomatoes and a lot of garlic.

Favorite color: Like a light turquoise!

Favorite music: Music to her was another mind-shielding tactic before anything else, so she tends to like upbeat-ish electronic/pop stuff. Catchy and repetitive, and/or with lots of personality to drown out her own thoughts. On the other end of the spectrum, she does have a soft spot for crackly, lo-fi, old or old-sounding slow songs—something about fuzzy recordings simulating a weak telepathic signal.

Favorite season: Hmm, spring and autumn are both good. She likes either side of winter.

Anything else you’d like to share: My heart and a long, fulfilling marriage, with anyone who reads all this 💍

#wow this is so long. insanity luv lit ral insanity #this was super helpful for articulating certain things about sab's character so it's already done its job #pls do not feel pressured to read Thousands of words about sabrina my beloved. but if you read all or even some of this <333 a kiss for you #why am i embarrassed to overshare about my own ocs on my own blog. i live here #oc: sabrina wiseman #also this was very much a stream of consciousness deal but i tried to go back and make it comprehensible. good luck all ye who enter here

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adenei · 3 years

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Endings and Beginnings (In Three Parts)

And now, for my Hinny Incognito Elf fic! This was written for eevylynn, and tells the tale of the lead-up of Harry and Ginny’s relationship during HBP from Ginny’s perspective :) Side Romione included

Please like/reblog and/or leave kudos on Ao3

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The Break-Up

Ginny couldn’t sleep. She was having trouble calming her mind, as she couldn’t stop thinking about the events of the night. It hadn’t been what she’d planned on, but in retrospect, Ginny supposed it had been coming for a while. She tried to tell Dean multiple times that she didn’t need his help with certain things, like being guided by the small of her back through the portrait hole.

If she was being honest, something had started to feel off between them at the beginning of March. Right around the time when Ron was poisoned. Ginny had started spending more time while he was in the hospital wing with Harry and Hermione, and Dean had expressed his displeasure, which ended in their first huge row. She told him he didn’t have the right to tell her who she chose to spend her time with, and that her brother had almost died! Dean had tried to come back with the argument that he had Harry and Hermione, which sent Ginny off the deep end. ‘I’m his sister!’ she’d shouted at him in the halls, as she told him he’d need a better reason than that. To which he’d muttered something unintelligible about Harry. Ginny stormed off after that, unwilling to hear any more.

Dean did apologize eventually, but then she started getting bored when they’d go off to snog. He didn’t give her the same thrill he used to at the start of their relationship. Plus, what had once been kind gestures became mild annoyances that began to fester. At least this was what she was trying to tell herself. It would have been easier if he’d accepted the breakup easily. If he’d felt the same way, that the breakup was imminent. But instead he’d acted blindsided. He’d even tried to plead with her in the common room. ‘I won’t do it again, I promise, Gin. Let’s not be rash and end things over that.’

But it wasn’t just that and she’d told him as much before storming off up the girl’s staircase to her dormitory. Ginny felt bad that she didn’t give him more of an explanation, but she couldn’t. It’d break him even more than the lame excuse she’d used to end things already. Plus, it’d probably have confirmed whatever he’d muttered back in March, and she was too stubborn to admit he was right.

She’d taken Hermione’s advice, and tried to date around a bit to forget her crush on Harry, but then last summer happened. They’d become closer than before, and Ginny loved the idea that they could be friends. Except that her heart still leapt any time he’d flash a grin at her, or when they’d go for a fly and she’d see the carefree side of Harry that he rarely showed anyone. Dare she even admit that there was the slightest banter of innocent flirting between them.

Ginny knew she’d made the right decision when she felt her heart flutter at the mere thought of Harry. Yet she still sighed as she flopped back, her head hitting the pillow in the continued frustration of being unable to shake her feelings for him. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when there was a knock on the door.

“Ginny?” Hermione popped her head in the doorway.

“Over here,” Ginny said, happy to have a distraction and some company.

Hermione walked over and sat on her bed. “I heard what happened...I’m sorry,” she offered.

“Yeah, you and everyone else in the common room.” Ginny rolled her eyes as she sat up. “Don’t be sorry. I’m glad it’s over.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you weren’t the only breakup tonight, and yours was much tamer than what came after.” Hermione was having trouble hiding the smile that was creeping across her face.

“Oh?” She could have guessed, but figured she’d let Hermione say it.

“Ron and Lavender broke up!” Hermione said with glee.

“It’s about time,” Ginny said as she smiled. “How’d it happen?”

“Oh, well, we were upstairs in the boy’s dorm with Harry, and-” Hermione looked around to make sure they were alone, but then cast muffliato just in case, “he put on the cloak because he was going to sneak out of the common room for, er-”

“Lesson with Dumbledore?” Ginny asked.

“Y-yes. Yes! Anyways, because he was under the cloak, Ron and I came down and it looked like we’d been alone up there, and Lavender was not happy. I almost felt bad for Ron. People halfway across the castle probably could have heard her shouts,” Hermione said.

“Eh, he probably deserved it. Should have broken up with her a while ago,” Ginny commented.

“Kind of like you and Dean?” Hermione raised her eyebrows in question.

“What?” Ginny countered, but Hermione only responded with a knowing look. “Yeah, alright. It was overdue, but sometimes it’s hard to break something that’s comfortable for something that’s never going to happen.”

“I wouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch..” Hermione said pensively.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Ginny questioned.

“It’s just a muggle expression,” Hermione said smugly. “Well, I’m going to go up to bed, but I think Harry’s still down in the common room. Said something about attempting to catch up on his homework for McGonagall.”

Ginny eyed her suspiciously as she hopped off the bed and left for her own dorm room. She sat there for a bit, considering what Hermione had said. Should she go down there? She was bored, having been cooped up here all evening, avoiding Dean. But she was also comfortable.

Then, as if fate was interfering, her dorm mates came in the room giggling about something, and Romilda had this smug look on her face. A surge of jealousy flowed through her system. Romilda had been after Harry all year, with no success luckily, but it still annoyed Ginny to think that she could get her bloody paws on him.

That was all it took for Ginny to stand up, and head down to the common room. Sure enough, Harry was sitting in his favorite spot on the couch, but his homework lay abandoned on the table in front of him as he was staring at the fire. Ginny walked over and sat on the opposite side of the couch. The common room was all but deserted at this point.

“Last I checked, the fireplace isn’t going to help you finish that essay,” Ginny said wittily, grabbing Harry’s attention.

“Oh, hey Gin,” he said. “I, er, heard about you and Dean. Sorry…”

“Are you really, though?” Ginny asked him, one of her eyebrows had arched in question.

“Do you really want the answer to that?”

“Answering a question with a question. That’s clever, Potter,” Ginny smirked at him.

“Well, it sidetracked you, didn’t it?” Harry laughed.

“It did, but your strategy just failed because you reminded me again. And yes, I would like the answer to that.” Ha, take that, Ginny thought.

She could tell Harry was contemplating his answer, and wondered why. Did it have to do with something that Hermione had said? “No, ‘m not sorry. You can do better than Dean.”

“Oh? Like who? Careful about your answer though, Potter. Wouldn’t want to pull a Ron on me,” Ginny warned. She had to remind herself to breathe when she realized she was holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

“Well, not Seamus, that’s for sure,” Harry laughed as Ginny rolled her eyes. Of course he’d suggest another person who wasn’t good enough for her.

“I guess I’ll let that one slide, but if you do have a suggestion regarding my love life, I’d love to hear. You must be doing something right, yourself,” Ginny grinned as she made an innocent dig at him.

“Oi! Here I am, trying to be a supportive friend, and you just go for the low blow.” Harry feigned offense.

Ginny laughed. She loved how easy it was to talk to Harry, which was a far cry from her preteen self. Her mood had vastly improved since coming down to the common room, and she was secretly thanking Hermione for the tip to come downstairs. Which reminded her, “So...Lavender and Ron?”

“About time, isn’t it?” Harry said.

“Hermione seemed quite happy about it,” Ginny said as they shared a look. “You don’t suppose they’ll finally sort things out, do you?”

“Anything will be better than what happened over the last four months,” Harry muttered.

Ginny watched him carefully. They’d joked about Ron and Hermione’s constant bickering and how they thought it was flirting, taking bets about when one would finally make a move on the other. He’d seemed okay with it last summer, so why was he close-lipped about it now? “How would you feel if those two got together?”

“Dunno,” he said simply.

A thought crossed Ginny’s mind. “Harry, you don’t- you don’t fancy Hermione, do you?”

“What? No! No way. She’s like my sister,” Harry defended himself quickly. “Why would you even suggest that?”

“You’re acting weird about it,” Ginny told him. “Not like this summer, when we were having a laugh over it.”

Harry just shrugged. “I’m just happy they’re talking again. Maybe the four of us could hang around more, you know, like the summer.”

Ginny could tell when he didn’t want to talk about something, so she didn’t push it. Instead, she thought about what he’d said about the summer. She tried to hide the excitement about Harry wanting to spend more time with her.

In an attempt at playing it cool she said, “Only if you help me with revising for Defense. O.W.L.s are coming up, you know.”

“Er, yeah, sure! I may be able to help with potions, too. Everything else, you’re better off asking Hermione for help,” Harry said as he flashed her a smile.

“I’m sure you could help just fine,” Ginny returned his smile with one of her own. “You did manage E’s in everything else, didn’t you?” She watched him shrug as the faint hint of a blush tinged his cheeks. “Anyways, it is late, and we do have class in the morning. Unlike you, some of us have class during the first hour tomorrow,” she teased.

“Yeah, you’re right. See you tomorrow?” he asked as they both stood up and headed to their respective staircases.

“Not if I see you first,” Ginny said as she laughed. It was one of the twins favorite things to say that she’d taken a liking to as well. It had become one of her signature flirting lines. She froze, but it didn’t seem as though Harry had heard anything out of the ordinary. “Night, Harry,” Ginny said as she turned and climbed up the staircase.

The Insinuation

“Harry, we’re going to be fine, don’t worry,” Ginny reassured him for what seemed like the millionth time.

Everyone had been on form during their last few practices. They were pulling through in spite of the broken morale after Harry’s incident a few weeks back. Luckily, Harry had still been permitted to attend practices and coach the team even though he couldn’t play in the final match due to Snape’s detentions. This gave Ginny the opportunity to focus on her seeker skills, and Dean, Demelza and Katie could get used to working together as chasers.

“I know, I know,” Harry said.

Ginny leaned in and nudged his side with her shoulder. “Then why do you still have that worried look on your face?” She looked up at him through her lashes.

They’d been spending a fair amount of time together both on and off the quidditch pitch. Ginny had started to drop subtle hints here and there, but Harry seemed to remain oblivious. There were times when she was about ready to give up her pursuit, thinking that maybe Hermione’s subtle nudging was just for a laugh. But then it was always Harry who would ask if she wanted to go to the library in the evening, and Harry who would make Ron and Hermione wait for her to go down to breakfast in the mornings.

“Because it doesn’t matter how on form you all play tomorrow, I’m still letting you all down by not being there! I’ve never hated Snape more in my life,” Harry muttered as he kicked at the ground.

“Harry, you know I agree with you on the whole Snape thing, but you did almost kill Malfoy. It’s just a shame he couldn’t push this one detention to a different time. I promise I’ll give you the whole rundown after the match.”

Harry looked to her as he said, “Thanks, Gin. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Ginny had to force herself to keep moving and to play it cool despite the breath that hitched in her throat and the sudden fast beating of her heart at Harry’s comment. She was thankful for her quick wit, which allowed her to comment without Harry knowing that her insides were about to explode from excitement.

“Probably something stupidly noble or nobly stupid,” she said giving him a look. They both erupted into laughter.

They continued walking up the corridor when Ginny recognized one of the Fat Lady’s friends watching them interestedly. She nudged Harry with her elbow and nodded with her head. “Is it just me? Or are they watching and possibly gossiping about us?” she said under her breath.

Harry looked up at what she was referring to. “Er, I dunno, Gin, can’t say I really notice what the portraits do on a regular basis.”

Ginny rolled her eyes in exasperation as she heard one of the portrait ladies giggle and say, “Oh don’t mind us, dear!”

“So you are staring, then!” Ginny said in triumph.

“No, no! Just watching carefully. We like to be current with the state of relationships! If I may offer some advice,” she was addressing Harry now, “I’m sure the lovely lady would appreciate some hand holding at the very least,” the lady on the right said.

“Relationships? What are you on about?” Harry asked.

They ignored Harry’s question as the lady on the left chimed in with, “I think the corridor up ahead is vacant if you’re looking for a place, too! Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone,” she said innocently.

Ginny stared incredulously at the portrait. “Oi! What in the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“Aww, look how shy they’re being, Violet! It’s quite clear you two are the newest couple in Hogwarts!”

“It’s about time,” Violet agreed.

“What?!” Harry and Ginny both said at the same time.

“We’re not-” Harry said.

“Why would you-” Ginny added.

Neither finished their sentence before Ginny looked at Harry and said, “C’mon Harry, let’s get out of here. Clearly, the portraits have lost touch with reality, as they don’t know how friends act anymore.” She gave the ladies in the portrait a dirty look as they continued walking without looking back.

What was once a comfortable conversation had now been replaced with an awkward air. After what felt like an eternity of walking towards the Gryffindor common room, Harry broke the silence with an apology that wasn’t his to give. “Er, sorry…” he said, looking anywhere but at Ginny.

“Sorry for what? Last I checked you weren’t one of those old batty women in the portraits,” Ginny commented.

“Er, no, but we have been spending more time together. If it’s too much-”

“It’s not,” Ginny said, perhaps a little too quickly.

She noticed a wave of relief fall over him at her words. “I mean, if the portraits think we’re together, then maybe we should at least give them something worthwhile to talk about,” Ginny laughed at the thought of messing with the portraits.

Harry didn’t answer her, and he looked seemingly lost in another thought. “Are we really acting like that?”

“Like what?” Ginny asked for clarification.

“Like a...couple?” Harry choked out.

Ginny thought about his words. They were spending quite a bit of time together, about the same that she’d spent with Dean on any given day, at least. And sure, maybe there had been some innocent flirtation, but neither was any the wiser on how the other person felt.

“Um, not that I was aware of,” she lied. “We’re just two friends enjoying each other’s company, and sometimes taking the piss on each other, now and then. Maybe even in the form of innocent flirting” Ginny chanced.

Harry chuckled at her words. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed.

Wait, did Harry just agree to the idea of flirting? She really wanted to ask, but by that point they’d entered the common room and Hermione was waving him over. She probably wanted to know how Ron had performed tonight to get a better idea of his mood.

“Well, I’m going to turn in early for the night,” Ginny told him. “I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?”

“Er, yeah,” Harry said awkwardly as Ginny took off for the girl’s staircase.

It was all Ginny could do to avoid thinking about their conversation in the corridor. Maybe she’d convince him to mess with the portraits some more after the match tomorrow and see where things would lead. At the very least, it could be fun to take the piss out of the Fat Lady’s drunken friends. But for now, she had to focus on the match tomorrow, which meant giving herself a little space from Harry for the night, both mentally and physically.

The Kiss

There was a deafening rush of sound that flooded Ginny’s ears after she’d caught the snitch. She looked at the magical scoreboard. They’d won. They actually pulled it off! Ginny flew down to the pitch where she joined the rest of the team in a huddle/hug and she looked at the stands where the Gryffindors were losing their minds.

Yet the only thought she could focus on was Harry. She couldn’t wait to tell him! She hoped his detention wouldn’t last all day because she was already bursting at the seams with excitement. He’d trusted her to lead them in his absence, and she did. Ginny saw Professor McGonagall’s satisfied smile. Maybe she’d be in the running for Captain next year, not that she’d want to take that away from Harry, but it would be nice.

She found herself in the locker room, putting her broom away and changing out of her sweaty gear. She waited for the rest of the team, so they could make their victory march back up to the school. Ginny decided to wait outside the locker room for the rest of the team members and saw Hermione waiting there, a beaming smile on her face. They waited together as the rest of her teammates filed out. Finally, the last members emerged; Ron was walking out with Dean.

Things were less awkward than they had been. At least they were until Hermione ran up to Ron and hugged him in congratulations, leaving Ginny standing awkwardly next to Dean. “Oi! Is everyone ready to head back up to the common room, then?” The team members all nodded as they began their walk back to the castle.

The party was already raging in the common room by the time they made it through the portrait hole, and the Gryffindor’s cheers could probably be heard throughout the entire castle when the team entered. They were all handed butterbeers as Ron was holding the Cup in his arms, Hermione at his side. More rounds of ‘Weasley is our King’ could be heard as Ginny decided to hang out near the doorway with Ron and Hermione.

If they didn’t think that was at all normal, neither said anything. After all, Ginny had been spending more time with them lately. Ginny downed her butterbeer in an attempt to calm her nerves, and looked around for a second one. She found them by the fireplace, but as she made her way over, she heard someone shout, “He’s back!”

Ginny turned around and froze, waiting to see if it was true. Sure enough, she saw a black mess of hair appear through the portrait hole and heard Ron shout, “We did it! We won!”

She watched as Harry looked at Ron, who was holding the cup, but then his eyes were searching for something else, someone else. He scanned the room, and her heart stopped briefly when his eyes met hers and he froze. She nodded, solidifying Ron’s words with one motion, and then she watched him move toward her and her feet stepped forward to meet him somewhere in the middle.

He had this wild look in his eye, and she was just about to ask him what was wrong when he closed the gap between them and kissed her. Harry freaking Potter was kissing her! And not in private. In front of the whole bloody lot of Gryffindors! Speaking of...she pulled away slightly. She needed to make sure this was real.

But in typical Harry fashion, he looked not at her, but at her brother. She hoped Colin had his camera and was able to capture the look on Ron’s face. Hermione was holding his arm, and looking between the two. Her worried look turned into a bright smile when Ron cocked his head to the side and grunted what Ginny assumed was his ‘blessing.’ Not that she needed it, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

She saw Harry’s own face break out into a more relaxed grin as the rest of the common room erupted once more. He finally looked back at her and gestured toward the portrait hole. He may have said something, but there was no way she could have heard anything. Ginny nodded as he took her hand and led her back out from where he’d just entered.

She heard the Fat Lady laugh and say, “It’s about time, you two,” as they headed down the corridor and found an empty classroom. The door had barely shut behind them before their lips locked for a second time. She felt Harry’s hands wrap around her waist as hers wrapped around his neck.

They’d barely started snogging before Harry pulled away abruptly. “Wait, is this- this is okay, right?”

Ginny smirked at him. “Well, your form is a bit off, but I’m sure I could teach you a few things,” she said suggestively.

“Very funny,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, Gin.”

“If it wasn’t okay, you would know already, Harry,” she finally said sincerely.

“Brilliant,” he said. Ginny leaned in, finding his lips with hers as they fell into an easy rhythm.

Some time later, they broke apart. Ginny was impressed at how quickly Harry had improved, picking up on the art of snogging. “Should we take a walk? It’s rather beautiful out today to be stuck in a stuffy classroom.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to go back to the party?”

“I’d much rather do this,” Ginny told him as they exited the classroom. They turned in the opposite direction of the common room as they made their way out to the grounds.

Harry and Ginny stopped by the large oak tree that shaded the Black Lake and sat down, guarded by the privacy from any onlookers. “So…” Harry said.

“I’m listening,” Ginny said through a smirk.

“Are we, er…” Harry stuttered.

“I don’t know, do you want to be?” Ginny knew it was cheeky to be teasing him about this, but she just couldn’t help it. Harry Potter, the boy who had defeated You Know Who once and fought him another three times, the boy who had saved her from death in the Chamber of Secrets, was having trouble asking her out.

“Y-yeah, but only if you want that,” Harry said.

“I think me kissing you back is a good indication,” Ginny smiled. She supposed she could have just been up front and given him an easy yes or no, but she knew he could handle her sarcasm. It was part of their easy banter, what made their friendship so special and unique. They tended not to take each other’s shite.

“That’s what I was hoping for,” he said as he leaned in and kissed her again. If Ginny wasn’t sure about her decision to break things off with Dean before, those doubts had disappeared. Now, a new chapter was beginning. One that had only been in her dreams for far too long. But now it was a reality. The best reality she could have ever hoped for as she melted into Harry’s arms and enjoyed their day together in the bright May sunshine.

#hinny #side romione #Harry Potter #ginny weasley #harry x ginny #2020 Hinny Discord Incognito Elf Exchange

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darkershining · 3 years

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Just watched episode 29 of Tropical Rouge Pretty Cure, in which the Cures must deal with a new type of Yaraneda, ultimately leaving them with more questions regarding the Witch’s motives.

The episode begins with the Tropical Club being interviewed for the school paper about their successful event at the festival, with the girls having to distract them when Kururun nearly gets herself discovered, instead drawing the other students’ attention to the dresser they made together.

In the Witch’s mansion, the Witch is having trouble sleeping, as she continues to have dreams about a girl who seems familiar to the Witch, yet she can’t recall who it is no matter how many times she calls out to the girl. As the Butler checks up on the Witch, the Witch forms a new type of Yaraneda orb. The Butler decides he will personally handle this mission, and put the new orb to use.

At Manatsu’s place, Manatsu and Laura have a conversation about mirrors, regular and magic kinds. In the night, the Butler tosses the new Yaraneda orb into the water. Later that night, Manatsu has a dream where she follows Laura’s voice inside the aquarium, eventually finding a mirror on the ground. Manatsu is then pulled inside the mirror, where she sees a vision of a girl, who Laura identifies as the legendary Pretty Cure.

The next day, Manatsu tells Laura about her dream, and asks Laura what she knows about the legendary Pretty Cure. Laura states that from the legend, the previous Pretty Cure fought a Witch, but Laura admits she isn’t sure if it’s the same Witch they’re fighting now. She wonders if the legendary Pretty Cure might’ve been trying to tell them something, but their conversation is interrupted by the sudden appearance of the new Yaraneda type, the Super Zettai Yaraneda. Sango, Minori and Asuka also discover multiple Yaraneda have spawned in different parts of town.

As the Cures transform and begin fighting, Cure La Mer attempts to scan the nearest Yaraneda, but the Aqua Pot doesn’t detect any Motivation Power. Cure Summer figures this means it hasn’t drained any yet, and that they can just take it out. However, after seemingly defeating it, even more appear. Cure Summer suggests they split up to deal with more of them at once, although Cure La Mer has some concerns about this plan. In the meantime, Cure Coral is struggling against her opponents, when Cure Papaya and Cure Flamingo come to the rescue. The three of them team up and exchange information about the situation.

As Cure Summer approaches the school, she suddenly remembers that they may have accidentally left Kururun in their club room, and goes to rescue her as a smaller Yaraneda gets into the room. Cure Summer rescues Kururun, apologizing for accidentally leaving her there. Working together, they knock the small Yaraneda back out the window, with Kururun making sure the dresser the girls had made together doesn’t fall to the floor. However, the small Yaraneda is then absorbed by a bigger one. Cure Summer continues to try to defend the school, but is eventually overpowered, and her transformation trinkets are knocked off, leaving her suspectable to having her Motivation Power drained.

Meanwhile, the other three Cures meet up with Cure La Mer. La Mer informs them that she hasn’t been able to find any Motivation Power, leading Cure Papaya to suspect that there might be a main Yaraneda that split up into all the other ones, and if they can find that one, they could put an end to the attack. She also guesses they’d be able to identify the main one, as that one would likely be the one to have all the Motivation Power the others have gathered.

Kururun suddenly shows up, startling Cure Papaya into attacking before realizing it’s just Kururun. She apologizes for hitting her with her eye beams, before Kururun alerts the others to the danger Manatsu is in. They begin to hurry towards the school, with multiple Yaraneda chasing after them. Cure Papaya hopes that the many Yaraneda gathering together will increase their chances of locating the main one.

While all of this is going on, the other villains take it easy back at the Witch’s mansion, commenting that the Butler must be feeling pretty flustered by everything going on if he went out to deal with them personally. As they discuss things, they begin to wonder why they are forbidden from talking about the Pretty Cures in the presence of the Witch.

Trapped within a Yaraneda, Manatsu struggles to not succumb to the effects of it attempting to drain her Motivation Power. Somehow, Laura’s mirror and the dresser respond to their feelings and connect, allowing the other Cures to contact Manatsu. Manatsu tells the others that she’s okay for now, only to be interrupted when it starts draining her motivation again. The Cures realize they need to hurry, but there’s a giant Yaraneda blocking their path. However, they refuse to let it stop them, and their Motivation Power reaches Manatsu through the mirrors, allowing her to transform and free herself from the Yaraneda that trapped her. Reuniting, Cure Summer thanks the others for coming to her rescue.

The Cures fight the large number of Yaraneda that have gathered near the school, while Cure La Mer continues scanning them to find the main one. She finally manages to locate it, and the Cures begin to focus their efforts on taking it down. Cure La Mer takes back the stolen Motivation Power, and everyone works together to weaken it for Cure La Mer to purify. However, her Bubble Shower attack isn’t enough to purify it. Cure Summer tells them they’ll simply have to keep trying, and suddenly, time seems to slow down as the dresser reacts to their Motivation Power once more.

The girl Manatsu saw in her dream manifests on the school roof, giving the Cures a good look at the legendary Pretty Cure. She gives the Cures a ring, and tells them to save the world and the Witch who became the Witch of Delays. Their dresser also transforms into a new power-up item, and the Cures use this new power to purify the Yaraneda. The Butler comments on the appearance of the legendary Pretty Cure, having not seen that coming, noting that she even gave them her Land Ring.

At the Witch’s mansion, the other villains note that the Witch finally seems to have calmed down. However, the Witch is still having dreams of the girl, calling out to her. She still can’t remember the girl’s face.

At school, the Cures wonders what the Witch is trying to accomplish, and note that their enemies continue to get stronger. Manatsu states that it’ll be fine, as long as they keep working together and make use of their new power.

Another really good episode! We got quite a bit of new information regarding the Witch of Delays and her history with the legendary Pretty Cure. I’m really curious to see where this will go. What is their connection? Who was the Witch of Delays before she became what she is now? Why can’t the Witch remember her? Also, the villains bringing up that they can’t talk about the Cures around the Witch was also an interesting detail. The Butler clearly seems to have the most knowledge of what is going on, and seems to be withholding things from the Witch. But what are his intentions? Is he doing it out of concern for the Witch, or does he have another reason?

And seeing the legendary Pretty Cure was really cool. Her hairstyle might be a bit much, but I really liked her design. Also, apparently the legendary Pretty Cure was a green Cure. Nice. I liked the Cures’ new group attack, and their new forms during the attack looked pretty cool too. The battles have been pretty fun this season, with creative attacks and some clever strategies.

I’ll be looking forward to the next episode!

#pretty cure #tropical rouge precure

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chicagocityofclans · 4 years

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Imani Colt → Nicole Beharie → Hunter

→ Basic Information

Age: 35

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: September 7th

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Religion: Irreligion

→ Her Personality Imani is a stubborn and courageous woman, often putting other needs above her own. She keeps a tight rein on her emotions which is a product of her upbringing and her rigorous hunter training. Imani keeps things bottled up inside and only shares her feelings with immense pressure. As a result, she is often reserved and slow to anger, but beneath her tough exterior is someone who feels very deeply. Imani is protective and loyal to those close to her. She has intense emotions that rarely surface and are directed primarily toward the people she cares about most. Imani is knowledgeable, practical, intelligent and at times calculating. She has a talent for profiling and her skills have helped track down many well-hidden supernaturals. She is also very curious; especially when it comes to the immortal 3 (vampires, human shifters, and magic users)

Imani is a strong-willed woman capable of holding her own as a hunter. She can be ruthless to enemies and friendly to allies, making her a dangerous foe and an exceptionally reliable friend. Imani is both an experienced and capable hunter as well as a fiercely defensive maternal figure who is to be taken very seriously within the Colt and Anderson family. As the wife of the headhunter, Imani can take on the leadership position when necessary, bringing in the Anderson family person style to the Colts. As a hunter, she stays on topic. She wants to get the job done as much as anyone else. Imani prefers to gather as much information about a situation as she can before deciding on it. Through her association with the supernatural, Imani mind is open to never-ending possibilities and ideas. She is willing and able to point out the ways that ideas could go wrong, often demanding to plan for different outcomes. Imani and Blaine are incredibly good at putting the pieces together and brainstorming together. They make an amazing married couple and hunting partners.

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Senior Hunter

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Neutral Colors and Hunting

Two Dislikes: Bright Colors and Venomous Snakes/Spiders

Two Fears: Gaining Weight and Meaningless Death

Two Hobbies: Learning (languages, cooking, information) and Journaling (about kills)

Three Positive Traits: Loyal, Protective, Clever

Three Negative Traits: Uncompromising, Denfinsive, Unmerciful

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Grant Anderson (Father): Imani has always been close to her father. He taught her everything she knows and made sure she had the best trainers. Imani knows that he wished she was a boy when she was born but cannot complain about the way she was raised and the benefits that followed. Grant is an amazing grandpa.

Candace Anderson (Mother): Imani mother is loving and smothering. Candace spoils her grandbabies and always spends them home hyper. Candace family believed in breeding for the best possible hunter outcomes. Imani does not blame her mother for running and finds her story encouraging; especially about meeting her dad. This also made Imani life hell with a clingy and opinionated mother.

Sibling Names:

Ebony Anderson (Sister): Ebony and Imani have a common sisterly bond. They have each others backs and get along well but are also constantly fighting about stupid things and pissing each other off. Ebony encouraged Imani to start dating Blaine and has always been supportive of their relationship.

Children Names:

Bryson Colt (Son): Bryson is showing a lot of promise. At the age of 6, Bryson can recite random species traits better than the ‘Baby Shark’ song. Imani loves her oldest son and thinks he is a perfect mixture of Blaine and herself but he takes after his father in temper, ruthlessness and intelligence.

Wesson Colt (Son): Wesson is a hellion at the simple age of 4 and a half. Everyone swears Wesson is more Anderson than Colt and naming him after a gun was a horrible idea. Wesson is a handful but Imani loves him all the same.

Orion Colt (Son): Akins twin brother. Blaine and Imani were trying one more time for a girl but were surprised to find out they were having twin boys. Orion has just turned 2 years old. Imani is tempted to try again for a girl now that the boys are older, however, Orion needs more care and love than her older sons.

Akins Colt (Son): Orion twin brother. Blaine and Imani were trying one more time for a girl but were surprised to find out they were having twin boys. Akins has just turned 2 years old. Imani is tempted to try again for a girl now that the boys are older, however, Akins needs more love and attention than her older sons.

Romantic Connections:

Blaine Colt (Husband): Blaine was not love at first sight or anything gushy. When they first met she was unimpressed by the legendary Colt. To take him down a few notches she purposely went after his hunts and tried to beat him to the punch. That peaked his interest in her and hers in him. Imani learned to care and respect him and then eventually fell in love with Blaine. He is her husband and best friend. They dated for 3 years before getting married in secret. Blaine and Imani have recently celebrated their 7 year anniversary.

Platonic Connections:

Colin Colt (Brother-In-Law): Imani brought her concerns about D.W. up to Colin which he quickly found excuses for. She thought they once had a really strong relationship, but Colin’s blatant refusal to even look at evidence and suspicions she has had has really soured their bond. She is going to keep looking into it, however, because he’s family.

Elle Colt (Sister-In-Law): Elle and Imani get on like houses on fire. Elle has told Imani that she was exactly what he needed in order to get his ego deflated a bit. They talk about ideas and strategy often, and respect each other’s minds.

Alice Colt (Sister-In-Law): Alice is like a mini Blaine. She worked long hours to try and get Alice back into fighting shape. She was also the one to discover one armed archery, and helped Alice find her passion for the sport again.

Amy Colt (Sister-In-Law): Amy plays fast and loose, but a part of her enjoys it. She trusts that Amy knows what she’s doing. They get along really well and Imani feels like a part of the girl’s group.

Casper Colt (Brother-In-Law): Imani agrees with her husband about Casper. He has no future as a hunter. It’s a shame, because he might have been something if someone intervened earlier.

Megan Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani gives unofficial credit to Megan for getting her and Blaine together. Had Megan not suggested a collaboration, she’d never have given him more than a split second of thought.

Iris Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani has been teaching Iris the ins and outs of online tracking. It’s not a skill that the Colts teach their tracker, but she thinks Iris will catch on quickly.

Hailey Colt (Cousin-In-Law): Imani approves of Hailey. She thinks she is a very capable woman on her own, and would keep her cousin on his toes. They don’t often talk, but they had a great conversation about moves and techniques not too far back.

Trevon Anderson (Cousin): Trevon is Imani’s favorite cousin. They get along the best out of all the other Anderson. She does not feel like Trevon will stab her in the back since they share a lot of the same views and are willing to go above and beyond on hunt. Imani had given Trevon the thumbs up when he expressed his interest in Hailey Colt. Imani has gone as far as hinting it to Blaine and Alexus.

Nia Anderson (Cousin): Nia is the model cousin and no one else can compare. Imani knew their family did not do it on purpose but she spent her entire childhood being compared to Nia. As adults, Imani can put the past behind her and be civil with her cousin but Imani believes she sailed through life.

Marquis Anderson (Cousin): Imani feels for her little cousin. She wishes she could do more for him but the most she can do is keep her door open for him.

Raven Jenkins (Cousin): Imani is glad Raven did not turn out like her mother. She enjoys the few hunts they take together and is happy she is friends with Alice.

Alexus Anderson (Aunt): Alexus has always been a judging figure in Imani’s life. She always had to work and trained harder to try and please her aunt; which never worked. It wasn’t until adulthood did Alexus start showing her any respect and quit her unfair judgmental assumptions.

Arthur Milligan (Undefined): The Anderson works with a lot of supernatural creatures but Arthur is one of her favorites. Whenever he has an ‘untouchable’ he slides it her way and she takes care of the problem for him or the other supernatural cops.

Churchill Darling (Undefined): Imani thought she was in trouble when a known human shifter first approached her but he had a box full of cases involving untouchable humans and another box involving unpunished members of Clan Rat. Imani shared the box with the Colts and Anderson. They’ve been working on it for months. Imani is thinking of ways to show some gratitude towards him.

Hostile Connections:

Eric Lasiter (Strained Friendship): Eric believes Imani stole from him and she has tried multiple times to explain the misunderstanding without any luck.

Jazmine Anderson (Disappointment): Jazmine stole information off of Imani’s phone and ruined her friendship with Eric Lasiter; and possibly her reputation.

Tirra Jenkins (Dislike/Annoyance): Since marrying into the Jenkins family, Tirra constantly acts as if she is better than the Anderson family. Imani is annoyed that she lost one of her favorite aunts but Tirra really grinds her gears.

D.W. Colt (Distrusts): Imani instincts are going haywire in concern to D.W, she seemed like a nice enough person at first but the more Imani watched her, the more her warning bells turned into sirens. The fact that no one is taking Imani seriously in regards to D.W is pissing Imani off and making her more aggressive towards D.W.

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

#Nicole Beharie #Imani Colt #Taken #Female #Hunter

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sparda3g · 4 years

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Kimetsu no Yaiba Chapter 191 Review

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There are times where the story gives you a sign that everything will be okay. There are also times where the story tricks you to believe it so, only to face a harsh reality. That’s this series. If you bought in the chances for Demon Slayer to win without a worry, let alone some, this chapter will lead you to a brick wall. However, the other side of the wall lies a promising hope.

Based on the chapter’s cover, it leads me to believe we will return to Tanjiro and sure enough, it’s true. However, the journey into the memory is over; disappointing on a selfish term. Perhaps we will get some from a flashback, which is funny to get a flashback on a flashback. Anyway, Yushiro is already there, treating Tanjiro. I hope he gets to Kanroji soon after. The major problem is, it’s been too long already.

It’s a miracle enough for Tanjiro to stay alive this long, but the recent impression is, he may be in coma forever. The crazy part about it, he’s holding his sword very tight. Murata can’t even remove his fingers. That’s downright dedication to fight until the battle is won. Regardless, he wouldn’t wake up, so it wouldn’t sadly matter.

I like how helpful Murata has been without the need to swing a sword. In this case, his role is a boy who cries for a savior for the world will end if no one saves it. The tension raises with Tanjiro’s pulse fading. The scene reminds me of a film where a character appeared to be dead, but after a couple of cries, he rises. That’s exactly what happens here after reminding him the mission: kill Muzan before he escapes. I got goosebumps when he finally wakes up, and it will return later.

I assume it’s Goto of Kakushi is hiding behind a building, witnessing the end of Muzan; if one can dream. Sanemi picks up a tag and start seeing the younglings. Hilariously, Inosuke wishes to turn his sword red; making sure he’s the pinnacle. You have to be strong as him to make it happen. How Kanao and Zenitsu keep up with him is a feat itself. At least it gives Sanemi a new trick to pull. Got to love that smile.

Himejima starts to see the Transparent World to figure out Muzan’s weak points. It turns out he has multiple hearts and brains on the back. That’s plain nasty. It’s noted before, but only to Yorichi. It’s meaningful for Pillars to know, so their strategy can alter. It will help them to survive longer. To make matter better, it gives Himejima an idea.

He tells everyone to look closely at Muzan and look through him. Obanai does so and notices the vision has changed. Once again, this evaluates their chances to survive and win. I should note that I’m a little bummed that we didn’t see teamwork between Sanemi and Giyu. But at least these developments leave plenty of new chances to stall time until dawn. All of it left me feeling a bit at ease unless something occurs. Well, something occurs.

Muzan without a flinch goes for a barrage attack that targeted everything in its perimeter. Goto was luckily covered; leaving to only Pillars to worry about. One glance and there’s no Pillars at sight. Few series led me to believe there’s hope and there may be downfall, but eventually, overcome the odds. Some even led me to believe the fall will be slow and frightening. This didn’t do either. Instead, it quickly turn the tide to major disaster. Every single one is defeated.

It’s been since Tokyo Ghoul, where it lied to me for believing hope, only to quickly kill it. Not exactly the same speed; only lasted two pages. Regardless, it’s quite devastating. Himejima lost his leg; Sanemi got knocked to the second floor building; Obanai looks awfully wounded; Giyu lost an arm; even Inosuke and Zenitsu were soundly defeated. Only Kanao remain in the field and honestly, that’s the worst position to be in.

I know this is going to sound incredibly disgraceful, but I hope those guys stay down. Part of me hope they don’t get involved anymore. All they have to do is pray and get treated by medics. Of course, it depends on how severe their wounds are; some could die from injuries alone. The fact is, they all deserved to live on. It’s hard to say for Himejima, considering the Mark’s curse. All I hope is for them to live. Is it really hard to ask?

Kanao is confronted with Muzan; not exactly the moment that I was hoping for. She can’t move due to fear, but she has to live and free the kids from despair. She will go out with a fight. I have to appreciate background or fodder characters for going out their way to do whatever it takes to win. Case in point, Goto goes out of his way to try to save Kanao. It’s a small detail I appreciate. By this point, it’s the best time to call for the worthy man to save her, and it couldn’t be any more suited than Tanjiro.

Tanjiro has entered the stage. Coming back with Hinokami Kagura to save Kanao, who wouldn’t fall for the guy? A welcomed pairing moment to boot up the greatness. What’s even better is his current design. He may have that bizarre tumor-esque on his right-eye, but the clear rage with flowing hair gives me goosebumps. His appearance gives Muzan an ugly feeling; bitter reminder of Yorichi. It’s now Tanjiro versus Muzan, and I can’t wait.

This was a great chapter with the twists and turns from this small yet huge warfare. The hopes and dreams were killed almost instantly, but they returned when Tanjiro re-enter the field. Quite clever to leave the ground to Tanjiro with all Pillars injured, instead of forcing everyone to standby. It’s hard to say if they will stand down; anything is possible. Nezuko is expected to arrive soon, so it’s only going to get incredibly intense. I don’t know how this will all go down, but the hype is clouding my thoughts. Let’s get this started.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #chapter 191 #review #spoilers

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jubaloba · 5 years

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The evolution of Giorno’s resolve: An essay with anime screenshots

Hey fellow jojo fans, here I am today bringing you an essay I spent hours writing ( with images from the anime ) of how Giorno’s concept of resolve evolves in his journey, granting him a subtle but narratively deep character development.

Bear in mind that I won’t give away spoilers from the manga and I’m using solely anime content to back up my analysis.

This essay will be huge, so I’ll put it under read more! Here we go~~

So, Let’s start this essay reminding how Giorno got in the gang in the first place. Giorno earned Bruno’s trust as he saw in him the opportunity to dismantle the worst parts of Passione’s opperations.

He see’s in Giorno true resolve to achieve such a goal, and the way he see’s it is pointed out by Bruno himself:

Pay attention on how Bruno sees Giorno’s resolve here. He sees Gio’s self sacrifice as a proof that he got the true determination to pull off the absurdity of his own dream.

However, it’s worth noting that even though Bruno wants to “wager on Giorno’s dream”, he points out the consequence Giorno will have to face, on his own, in case he fails to keep this goal a secret:

Knowing that, Giorno decides that he has to win the trust of his team mates in order for them to accept him without knowing his true intentions.

So Giorno brings up his dream to his fellow team mates twice, both of them in the same arc but with two different meanings. The first usage of the “dream speech” happens when Giorno, while facing Abbacchio’s mistrust on him, decides to prove his self worth and loyalty to the gang through self sacrificing. He says “I have a dream” to remind himself that he has a goal he can only achieve through his “golden resolve”. And he sees this resolve as self sacrificing for the sake of solving a problem:

The second usage of the “dream speech” is in order to persuade his team mates to let him take responsibility of the next course of action when the team seems unsure of how to deal with the uknown:

He’s not self sacrificing in this case, but he’s offering himself to execute a plan on his own withoug knowing who the enemy might be. He’s trying really hard to win his team mates trust, even at the possible cost of life.

But at this point he still values his goals and dream more than risking his life, and his ambitions to get there is his main source of resolve. But this will slowly change as the gang starts influencing his way of viewing true resolve, and this happens in two different moments.

The initial moment: The gang sees resolve as self sacrifice.

Up to this point, this message is being fed to Giorno in a subtle way. Being it Bruno noticing how Giorno’s dream seem’s worthy to wanger on because of him “ripping his arm off”, and Abbacchio only accepting to work towards problem solving by seeing Giorno self sacrificing to show how the enemy stand works..

Even though those messages have been thrown, Giorno still firmly believes that this self sacrifice is only a means to an end and nothing more than it, so he assures himself by reminding what his goals are.

However, the gang’s views towards resolve and self sacrifice start showing up in less subtle ways:

Upon seeing this mindset, Giorno fights back, not wanting to see this as the only option.

As this fight rolls by, with Abbacchio taking a more self sacrificial route while focusing on retrieving the key, and Giorno figures a way to save Fugo, things slowly fall into place according to Gio’s strategies and clever predictions.

Seeing Giorno self sacrificing for the mission, Fugo praises Giorno:

Though Giorno doubles down and points out Abbacchio’s self sacrificial resolve as the one that must be praised:

We can see in this example that the gang’s influence on their views of self sacrifice is slowly making it’s way to Giorno’s mind. He praises self sacrifice now, when earlier he took it as reckless or as just a means to an end.

by upholding the sense of self sacrifice, Giorno ends up slowly forgetting his own goals and dream. He doesn’t bring the “dream speech” back, and instead still tries his best to earn his team mates trust by coming up with strategies or self sacrificing at any turn.

This becomes normalized for him until someone stops his mindset, which is when the second moment of the development of Giorno’s resolve starts.

The second and final moment: Giorno and Mista’s “epiphany” about true resolve.

This character development moment starts when Giorno and Mista are facing Ghiaccio, who has a stand ability that perfectly counters all of their attempts at one upping him. Giorno notices early on that Mista has a strange optimistic attitude towards the situation, but doesn’t think much of it, deciding to press on with his plan of self sacrificing by plummeting the car into the canal in order to prioritize the mission:

When his plans seems to not work out and things start going south, Giorno gives up on the idea of prioritizing their safety and survival in order to focus on the mission ahead. This attitude reflects the behavior he’s absorbing from the gang arround him not only as something they see as a proper mindset in such a situation, but also as the only way to react to the context of higher and higher stakes.

But Mista doesn’t have the same views on self sacrifice as the rest of the gang and pulls Giorno’s mindset away from it:

In that exact moment, Giorno is finally being called out for letting the self sacrificial notion of “resolve” get in the way of his dream and true goal. Giorno didn’t realize that he was hitting rock bottom in terms of mindset and it was Mista’s optimism in the face of terrible circunstances that got him to rethink it.

After this little exchange, Mista pushes Giorno to keep on acting and urges him to come up with plans with him in order to find the best resolution to their victory.

But as much as they continue to push each other towards victory, Ghiaccio is relentless and, soon enough, gets the upper hand. Seeing Mista starting to struggle with strategy, Giorno has a moment of realization:

In this moment, Giorno finally sees self sacrifice as not a positive sign of resolve or heroism, but as an act of despair. He continues:

Yes, he notices that true resolve means finding out a way to true victory regardless of the context. However:

He knows that sacrifices must be made in order to open up this path. But he also realizes that sacrifice shouldn’t be the key element of one’s source of determination:

He understands now what Mista said about striving for “true victory”, and ultimately abandons the gang’s notions of self sacrifice as a true act of “resolve”. Its not that you shouldnt self sacrifice in a given context, but not seeing it as a final act of resolve, but rather as only a path towards a better, brighter future.

While giving Mista this speech, Giorno is not only pushing Mista out of the self sacrificing “reckless” behavior, but also giving him a literal “path” of blood to assist him strategically. This inspire Mista to think many steps ahead from Ghiaccio himself.

As expected, Ghiaccio had the proper “counter” for Mista’s attack.

But despite being shot multiple times, Mista didn’t lose sight of true resolve, using instead his blood to open up the path of true victory even further:

From this point on, it’s a back and forth between Ghiaccio and Mista’s resolve. Mista with the resolve of shoving Ghiaccio even further into the spike that was piercing him in the nexk, and Ghiaccio’s resolve to ricochet Mista’s bullets and figuring out to continue living despite of his physical wound. At one point, Mista reached his limits and Ghiaccio found a way through the darkness as well, using his own blood to prevent being backed up further against the spike:

However, when Ghiaccio thought that he achieved true victory, someone else’s resolve shines through:

Giorno recognizes that they both realized and shared the meaning of true resolve through the course of this fight, and it was thanks to that that they could achieve true victory:

After Giorno finishes Ghiaccio off, Mista also has a moment of realization upon his and Giorno’s mutual understanding of true resolve:

What Mista recognizes here is that Giorno’s views on true resolve approaches Mista’s optmist attitudes much more than Bruno’s, because Bucciarati’s views are heavily embended in a self sacrificing tendency, such as the rest of the gang, and Mista doesn’t see it as the mark of true “leadership” or even as something that “inspire him to act”.

At the same time, him and Mista mutually learned this aspect of true resolve together, so Mista was the first one to withness Giorno’s rise as a true inspiring leader.

No wonder he feels like Giorno is taking the spot he held to Bruno in his heart, because Giorno inspired him. And Giorno was also inspired to find his concept of true resolve thanks to Mist’s words and actions.

Giorno promptly congradulates Mista’s effort, not mentioning his sacrifices to find the path of true victory:

In return, Mista also congratulates Giorno’s help and guidance that made him bold enough to show his true resolve:

And this my friends is the end of this essay. With this arc, Giorno finally learns the true meaning of having resolve and starts working his way into becoming an inspiring leader. Someone who is capable of guiding and inspiring others to the best of their abilities.

His resolve went from a means to an end ( sacrificing himself or proving his self worth in order to gain the trust of others ), to self sacrificial and naturalized ( the only course of action when facing the grim reality of gang life ) to, ultimately, finding the path of hope and victory through the darkness, in spite of some sacrifices needing to take place.

This concludes one of the most importants ( though quite subtle ) character development that Giorno goes through, and marks the turning point of his character.

To me, Giorno and Mista’s mutual development and increasing trust through the white album arc marks the biggest reason of why I like their relationship so much. Gag bench scene or not, the fact that they got such a depth mutual understanding of resolve and were able to work with each other so well is enough of a reason to admire their dynamics as characters.

With this I end this essay with a hopeful heart and high expectations of what this anime adaptation have in it’s works.

If you read everything till now, I really admire you. Thankyou so much for sticking by.

See yall, nerds.

#vento aureo #Giorno Giovanna #Meta analysis #jjba #long post #text

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cloudchaserandflitterexplain · 6 years

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Gyro and Berry Dreams Explain: Points

Indeed. My win record is above 80%, which puts me amongst the top echelon of players of our fine game.

Let’s not gloat, hun.

Very well. I suppose this is neither the time nor the place. Shall we delve right into our chosen topic of discussion for the day?

Let’s! Today we’re talking about points.

Which is admittedly a rather broad subject, so let’s break that down a bit.

Our battle plan will cover four different fronts. First we’ll talk about the value of points. Then we’ll use that knowledge to establish how to optimize our scoring. Third we’ll discuss stopping the opponent from scoring points. And then we’ll wrap up with something we like to call “points on board.”

It is possible, perhaps even probable, that you are questioning why we would discuss such a base and obvious portion of the game.

Well that is because, as usual, most ponies do not grasp the full picture. There is a substantial quantity of subtlety and nuance that the average laypony simply is unable to grasp initially. But fortunately you can rely on us to educate you in what you’re missing.

That was probably a little too arrogant, hun.

I am not being arrogant, I am simply stating the facts as I observe them to be true.

What he’s trying to say is that while most ponies obviously understand that points are important and how to get then, they might misunderstand exactly how valuable they are. Which can lead to mistakes when forging your plan of attack.

It’s one of those easy to learn, difficult to master kind of things.

Perhaps for some, but my skills on the matter are top rate.

I thought you were going to stop boasting, hun.

But yes, I suppose the reason we’re talking about this is that we do understand the subject rather well.

Anyway, let’s talk about the value of points! Care to kick us off, Hun?

Certainly. Having witnessed a multitude of games as both a player and an observer, I’ve discovered that most ponies overestimate the value of points. While it is true that they are integral to the game, as you require them to be victorious, they are not as precious as one might originally believe.

Aside from the 15th one, of course. That one is priceless.

The actual value of a point is tricky to place exactly, and actually fluctuates as the game goes on.

When you’re behind, you need to be as efficient as possible in order to have a chance at catching up.

But if you’re ahead, you might be willing to spend a little more to extend your lead.

Of course, desperation due to the time limit waning or trying to recover from a bad board position might change the value even further… but ideally that doesn’t apply to you much.

Aptly summarized, my dear, and a fact that I’d wager many are not aware of.

However if I were to place a precise value on a point, I would say it is worth roughly one and three quarters AT at most stages of the game. Or if you prefer, slightly less than two AT.

Where did you get that number?

Observation, my dear, observation.

I have noted that paying 2 AT per point acquired feels overpriced. On the other hoof, paying only 1 per point is a miraculous steal. Thus the value should fall somewhere between the two.

And as 2 AT feels closer to the value of a single point than just 1 AT, I decided a reasonable estimation would be one and three quarters. Though I admit I may be off an iota or three.

I suppose it does feel about right. 2 is definitely more than I’d want to pay, but only a little.

You see? It may not be a perfect value, but it is a good enough estimate to base the remainder of our advice on.

So now that we know about how much AT a point is worth, it’s time to use this knowledge to give us the advantage in battle. But how?

Simple! It allows us to figure out if spending AT on points is a good investment or not right now.

A simple calculation can do wonders for guaranteeing you’re making the right play.

If you’re spending 2 or more AT per point you’re getting, it’s probably not a great deal and there may be better lines of play...

But if you’re spending less? It’s worth at least considering since you’re getting a good rate of return on your investment!

I would think an example would help illustrate the point nicely. Let us say that for some reason you are not playing a combo deck and—

Most ponies don’t play combo, hun.

Well, it’s hardly my fault that so many ponies don’t acknowledge the glory and majesty that is a well built—

I’m just saying be a little less condescending, kay?

My apologies. I suppose I did get a little carried away.

A little bit, sure.

Now as I was saying, you are playing an aggro deck with a boosted Princess Luna: Dream Warrior as your Mane at home. Each problem is just 5 wild for you to confront and you have a pair of Princess Cadance: Best Foal Sitters in hand. Bonus value for each problem is 1, lets say.

So you could just play one Cadance to a problem, moving Luna for free, and confronting for one point. But since Cadance costs 2, that’s not an especially great deal. It’s hardly horrible, but it’s not great either.

But you manage to do a lot more damage if you play the second Cadance via Hasty to the other problem to move Luna to start a DFO. If you win the DFO, now you scored 3 points for 4 AT, a much better deal!

One and one third AT per point is a perfectly reasonable rate of exchange, if you ask me. Not the best, but adequate for most performances.

The example’s a bit simple, but it just goes to show why aggro decks like such low to confront problems, even if the bonus isn’t always great. They want to spend as little AT as possible to score some big points.

A rule I see many aggro players utilize when building decks is to aim for being able to DFO every turn using no more than 4 AT. Assuming nothing goes wrong, of course.

Which does happen since the opponent isn’t always going to just let you do as you please. Maybe the opponent’s problem is just too big for you to confront no matter what you do. Or there’s a Troublemaker in the way. Or whatever.

Stuff like this can lead to some harder decisions. Do you try for a single confront anyway? Or do you just try and save up for a double?

Believe it or not, our guideline still applies here! Just maybe not in the way you expected.

Indeed. After all, we never stipulated that you had to be scoring all those points in the same turn, now did we?

Moving to confront one turn in anticipation of being able to confront the same problem again on the following turn can be quite worth it as well, as now you have scored that problem twice for the price of once.

Especially if on that second turn you manage to confront multiple problems and start a multi-problem faceoff.

Very worth the investment, if it works!

Though there is risk here that the opponent might confront the same problem and start a single problem facceoff. Which can be worth it if you win, but set you back significantly if you lose.

You can waste a lot of AT that way, so be careful with single confronts.

Indeed. That is an excellent example paying too much for your point. Especially as not only did you only score 1 point, you allowed your opponent to score an extra point as well.

Now this isn’t a principle only aggro decks should use. It applies to all sorts decks.

Though the rule is a bit weird for combo decks…

Indeed. In that case, it doesn’t matter how much AT you wind up spending in the long run so long as you make it to 15.

But anyway, let’s look at control and how they might want use this rule.

I doubt any of you would be surprised to learn that Photo Finish: Say "Käse!" is a staple in many control decks. To the point that some decks will even splash into white for the sole purpose of playing her.

Now why is that? She doesn’t help control players maintain control. She doesn’t give you any resources or help you find the tools you need. All she does is score you points, and even those are conditional.

Well, it’s simple! It’s because she’s a very cost efficient way of scoring points. Very frequently Photo will score the control player several points over the course of the game. Sometimes as many as five, or even more!

And even those without my astonishingly massive intellect can tell that 5 points for a mere 3 AT investment is an extraordinarily good deal.

Another common tactic for control players is to build up a troublemaker wall, then start confronting a single problem a turn behind it.

Indeed. You’ve likely spent a large quantity of AT to set up this situation, but as long as you are able to maintain it, you will be scoring a point every turn for the rest of the game thanks to that large investment.

Efficient command of your troops in such a manner is a great way to come out victorious in the end!

And I suppose it is briefly worth mentioning that Farming decks also use this principle, trying to score multiple points for a very small AT investment. Frequently they can score 2 points a turn with just 1 AT investment, as they play an epic, uncover it, and defeat it immediately.

Honestly they’re probably a little too efficient if you ask me...

But that’s a topic for another day! For now, it’s good enough to know that every deck archetype strives to follow this rule, even if not always in the same way. After all, points are what determine the winner at the end.

All too right, Berry.

Of course, even I must admit, that even the finest of plans go wrong on occasion. And while it is a good idea to adhere to this guideline where possible, it is not always feasible.

Sometimes you need to pay more to score than you would normally, and there’s just no getting around it no matter how clever you are. Especially if you’re playing aggro and there’s a troublemaker in the way.

It’s up to you to figure out when you should be sticking to the rule and when you should be breaking it.

After all, a clever general knows when to change her plan of attack.

Now that we have sufficiently gone over the strategy of scoring points, I believe it is time to tap our reservoir of knowledge on a different, though related, topic.

Preventing the opponent from scoring points. A tool all control players rely on.

Not just control players, you know. It’s an essential skill for everypony.

Though admittedly, control uses it the most.

True enough, my dear. I’ll concede that point gladly.

So we all know how important it is to score points, since getting to fifteen first means you’re the winner, but your opponent is trying to do that too.

So it’s not always enough to get as many points as possible yourself, sometimes you’ve got to prioritize stopping the opponent from scoring them.

And like with scoring points, you want to be efficient at it.

While it’s true that you could simply Napcakes their Friend to prevent the opponent from single confronting, that is typically going to be a waste of very important resources. You are spending 1 AT to stop 1 point.

Now we learned earlier that a point is worth a little less than 2 AT, so why is this a bad deal?

Well, it’s because that’s AT you could have been spending to score points of your own, but now you can’t. So it actually wound up costing you more than you thought!

Indeed, you should save that Napcakes for when it would be most effective. Such as preventing a DFO, or to protect a troublemaker. By successfully protecting the troublemaker, you’ve denied them not only the confront, but likely the ability to DFO. Possibly extending into future turns as well.

And by stopping the DFO, that’s at least two points you denied. One for the extra confront, and one or more from the bonus point they were likely to score. Far more efficient.

And as an added bonus, you might cause a single faceoff to happen instead, which you probably have a better chance of winning.

Not only did you thwart the opponent’s plans by denying them multiple points, but you managed to advance your own agenda by scoring a few yourself.

Bringing yourself much closer to winning the battle.

The AT value of denying points is a little harder to define than it was for scoring points, especially since it’s likely you only have so many way of doing so in any given deck. I would wager it is probably closer to only one and a quarter AT per point denied, rather than one and three quarters.

Of course, you do get extra value out of delaying the opponent’s plans, so sometimes that can make up for the AT cose.

Though things are a little different if it’s the opponent’s 15th point. In that case, if they can score at all you’ll lose, so your entire battle plan needs to be devoted to finding a way to score without letting them do so themselves.

Quite right. As I said before, the fifteenth point is priceless. As such, all rules about efficiency are off the table when it comes to keeping it away from your opponent.

Or securing it for yourself, of course.

Now there is one last topic we should address before bringing this discussion to a close. Something that, as my lovely companion alluded to before, we have taken to calling “points on board.”

Points on board is pretty simple! It refers to how many points a pony can score on their turn with the current problems. It also counts anything in play that increases that number, like Nightglider: Overpowering or troublemakers worth points.

As a simple example, if the problems are both Under Lock and Tree, then the points on board is 3, as the opponent can only score a maximum of 3 points with what is currently available.

Now if one of the problems was Tough Call instead, points on board would be 4. If you also had a Changeling Mimics in play, then it would be 4 for you and 5 for the opponent.

So why does this matter? Well, it can help you predict what scores might look like a turn from now. If you scored every point possible this turn, what would your point total be? What if the opponent scored every point available to her?

This can be particularly important to take note of during the end game. If your opponent is at 11 with 4 points on board, you better take measures to ensure the opponent can score, at most, 3 of those points lest you find yourself defeated.

And in a situation where the roles are reversed, it would behoove you to do everything in your power to score all four points. After all, that 15th point is priceless.

Of course for most of the game, there aren’t enough points on board for you to finish the game. But it’s still something to be aware of.

Indeed. It might factor into decisions like whether or not to pass two, six, or eleven points. Occasionally it is better to delay passing those thresholds for a turn, to keep the opponent’s AT gain lower.

But by far, the most important time to be aware of this is at the endgame. Especially when you can’t close out the game.

Let’s try a different example. Both players are at 11 points and there are only 3 points on board. You have the ability to DFO and score 3 points, bringing you just one point away from victory so you do.

But then a 2 point problem is flipped after problems are replaced and now there are 4 points on board. If your opponent has the ability to DFO and claim them all, you’ll have lost the war despite victory being within your grasp.

So what went wrong here?

Ah, a simple trap has been sprung here. Despite there only being 3 points on board now, you failed to account for the fact that problems being replaced allows for the possibility of the number of points on board for the opponent shifting.

You would have been fine had you not gotten greedy, my dear.

That was just an example, hun, not something that happened recently.

But yes, that’s exactly what I was getting at. Before your DFO, you had a good idea of how many points the opponent could possibly score on their turn, and it wasn’t enough for them to win.

Instead of going for a DFO, you could have just gone for a single confront since you knew it was unlikely the opponent could win next turn. Now you’re at 12 points with 3 points on board, enough to win next turn!

But by replacing problems, you gave up your safety and allowed the tides of battle to change. A mistake that has caused many a good pony to lose a fight that seemed like a decisive victory until the very last moment.

You are still talking about the game, right?

Sure, that too!

What my esteemed colleague is trying to convey is that one must not only think about the points on board now, but the points that may be on board. Think a turn ahead, lest it cost you the game.

After all, were you to face me and failed to plan accordingly, I would be more than willing to capitalize on your error and come out triumphant.

They get it, hun.

But that was everything on the battle plan, so I think we’re done here!

Yet another masterful execution, my dear. I think we can leave with the knowledge that we are making the world a better place for those who play this favourite game of ours.

Ah-hah, you were right, Cici!

Told you they were up here.

Oh, uh… we were just.

Trespassing in Cici’s home? Again?

I still don’t get how you guys even get up here. You’re earth ponies.

Ah, well, there’s a very simple explanation for this. You see...

Now!

You got it, hun.

What the? Where’d all this smoke come from?

Anyway, what are you all—

They’re gone, Cici.

Wah?

I didn’t think smoke bombs actually worked.

Eh, whatever. They’re gone now. And it doesn’t look like they did anything.

Yeah, well, I’d still like to know what they’re up to. This is, what, the third time they’ve done this?

I think it’s the fourth. Remember that one time we found open envelopes addressed to them at my place last year?

Oh yeah, that was weird. But they never seem to do anything. Wonder what they’re up to...

Maybe they just wonder what it’s like to live as pegasi so they researched a cloudwalking spell and visit!

Yeah, that’d make sense. Being a pegasus is pretty awesome. I can’t imagine not having wings.

Still weird that they do it when we’re not here, though.

Maybe they’re shy about it.

Well, whatever they’re doing, it certainly seems harmless enough.

Weird…

But harmless.

Well, looks like they didn’t do anything so I’m off. Bye Cici! Let me know if they come back.

Later, Flits. Will do.

#Gyro and Berry Dreams Explain #gyro #berry dreams #belated april fools #mlp #mlpccg #mlp:fim

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multipleservicelisting · 3 years

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Biden’s Plan

Want to get The Morning by email? Here’s the sign-up.

Good morning. Joe Biden unveils his plan to defeat the virus and fix the economy.

Never let a good crisis go to waste. A version of that line has been variously attributed to Winston Churchill, Rahm Emanuel and others, and the idea is simple enough: A short-term crisis often creates the opportunity to solve long-term problems.

The Great Recession of a dozen years ago handed Democrats control of the federal government, which they used to expand health insurance to millions of Americans, after having failed at that goal for decades. The problem for Democrats was that voters didn’t reward the ambition. Less than a year after President Barack Obama signed the bill, Republicans retook House control, constraining the rest of Obama’s agenda.

Now, President-elect Joe Biden is preparing to take office during a new time of crisis. And like his former boss, Biden has big ambitions for fixing the country’s problems. But he is pursuing a different strategy than Obama did.

Biden’s speech last night, laying out a $1.9 trillion economic plan, made that clear. His agenda will remain more tightly linked to the immediate crisis than Obama’s. Although Obama also began his presidency with a huge stimulus bill, he soon pivoted to health care and climate change, which had only tenuous connections to the housing meltdown that led to the recession. Biden shows no sign of pivoting to anything so removed from the coronavirus.

“During this pandemic, millions of Americans, through no fault of their own, have lost the dignity and respect that comes with a job and a paycheck,” Biden said last night in Wilmington, Del. “The very health of our nation is at stake.”

The Biden approach has clear advantages. It allows him to tell a consistent story about trying to defeat the virus, restart the economy and open schools. It may also increase his chances of achieving those goals. Obama did not remain so focused on the economy, and it was still struggling during the 2010 midterm campaign. Democrats suffered as a result.

(Biden’s team is already thinking about how to avoid a midterm defeat in 2022, Politico has reported.)

But Biden’s strategy also comes with risk. The country really does face big problems that are broader than the virus, including climate change, economic inequality and political dysfunction.

Biden and his team hope to address these by connecting them to the economy’s recovery. He is already planning a second piece of legislation that will include spending on clean-energy and infrastructure programs to put people back to work and tax increases on the wealthy to reduce the deficit. Biden’s larger agenda is called “Build Back Better” — a reference to the pandemic.

The model is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Biden won’t come close to the scale of New Deal change, given his slim congressional majorities, but the general idea is still the same. Roosevelt resuscitated the economy while remaking the U.S. economy, through Social Security, minimum wages, Wall Street regulation, stronger labor unions and the construction of roads, bridges and buildings.

As Noah Smith of Bloomberg Opinion wrote this week, “A crisis does present an opportunity for long-term reforms, but it’s best to use that opportunity for reforms that address the immediate crisis.”

Of course, it’s also possible that Biden will succeed at fighting the pandemic but fail to pass anything as lasting as Obama’s health care bill, let alone the New Deal.

For more: The Biden plan includes checks for most households; expanded jobless benefits and rental assistance; money to accelerate vaccinations and reopen schools; and a paid sick-leave program to encourage people to stay home when they’re ill. The Times’s Jeanna Smialek has more details.

“I’m just struck by the scale of these proposals,” Matthew Yglesias, who writes a Substack newsletter, wrote last night. “I’m excited to see a new administration thinking big.”

THE LATEST NEWS

Politics

The Secret Service will establish a “green zone” in downtown Washington this weekend, shutting down traffic and train lines as troops flood into the city for Biden’s inauguration.

Dozens of people on the F.B.I. terrorist watch list, most of them suspected of being white supremacists, were in Washington the day of the Capitol attack, The Washington Post reports.

A retired Air Force officer who stormed the Senate chamber carrying zip ties intended to “take hostages,” a prosecutor said. The authorities have arrested several more people.

Biden picked Jaime Harrison, a veteran of South Carolina politics, to lead the Democratic National Committee, and Dr. David Kessler, a former head of the F.D.A., to help lead the government’s efforts to accelerate the development of virus vaccines.

A Closer Look: G.O.P. Tensions

2020 effectively tied with 2016 as the hottest year on record, NASA confirmed. These maps show the biggest changes.

Toyota will pay $180 million for failing to report vehicles that emitted excess pollution.

The New York State attorney general is suing the N.Y.P.D. over what she said were widespread abuses during last summer’s protests after the killing of George Floyd.

An earthquake in Indonesia killed at least 35 people. It was the third deadly disaster in the country in a week, after a plane crash and landslides.

U.S. Figure Skating will pay $1.45 million to a former skater who accused the organization of failing to protect him from a coach’s sexual abuse.

Morning Reads

Modern Love: Lockdown in Paris — “le confinement” — is a couple’s breaking point.

From Opinion: “The slow but steady improvement for working women appears to have ground to a halt,” the economist Diane Coyle writes.

Lives Lived: Siegfried Fischbacher, half of the German-born magician team Siegfried & Roy, captivated Las Vegas audiences with performances alongside big cats, elephants and other exotic animals. Fischbacher died at 81, eight months after the death of his partner, Roy Horn.

Take our weekly News Quiz

What are New Yorkers doing inside those canvas yurts pictured above?

Who are the two presidents before Trump to have been impeached?

Why did a British truck driver have his ham sandwich confiscated?

And which college football team is the last one from a blue state to win the national championship?

Today is Friday, and that means it’s time for our weekly 11-question News Quiz, which lets you see how well you stack up against other Times readers (and have some fun along the way, we hope). We encourage you to take the quiz.

We also invite you to submit your own suggested question for next week’s quiz. This week, that clever question combining college football and politics came from a reader of The Morning. Once you complete the quiz, you’ll find a link at the bottom that will you let you submit a question. And good luck!

PLAY, WATCH, EAT

What to Cook

The Great Gatsby Glut

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel “The Great Gatsby” is now in the public domain, meaning writers can mine the characters and plot for their own purposes without having to ask permission. Expect new adaptations — including a graphic novel and a zombie version.

Late Night

The late-night hosts joked about Rudy Giuliani. (He is one of the few people still willing to join Trump in the foxhole, our colleagues Katie Rogers and Maggie Haberman write.)

Now Time to Play

The pangram from yesterday’s Spelling Bee was hayfork Today’s puzzle is above — or you can play online if you have a Games subscription.

Here’s today’s Mini Crossword, and a clue: 18+ (five letters).

Thanks for spending part of your morning with The Times. See you Monday. — David

P.S. A hidden haiku in The Times, recently spotted by @nythaikus: “The role of the friend / is to be present, patient / and compassionate.”

You can see today’s print front page here.

On today’s episode of “The Daily” a House Republican explains why he voted to impeach Trump. On “The Argument,” will Trump’s second impeachment change minds?

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esseastri · 6 years

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Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 4)

sometimes I wonder about labeling the parts of the liveblog with “part 1, part 2, etc” ‘cause like...that doesn’t mean it’s part 4 of the book. just part 4 of the liveblog? idk, I jUST realized that might be confusing in a book split up into five parts, but it’s too late now...

I’m still in part one, for those keeping track.

Part 4 encompasses pages 240-326 (previous parts)

I genuinely cannot imagine Dalinar marrying someone quiet and shy and it’s just. wild.

“his bracer clocks” bless Navani for inventing wrist watches and calling them something delightful instead

nooooooo don’t bring Taravangian here!!!! Don’t let him see the center of your power!

crap, now we’ve got, like...all the factions together, right? Taravangian and the diagram people. the Ghostbloods. Amaram and whatever he’s doing. And us....everyone who knows stuff about the end of the world, all in one convenient place. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, except Jasnah. She’s out there, somewhere. When will my love return from the war

seriously, it’s been 240 pages, where is Jasnah.

“He’d been a friend to Gavilar and that was enough for Dalinar.” like. okay. sure. but you know your brother was trying to end the world to bring back the gods, right? like? ARGH.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hey do we have a way to tell Radiants from normal Shardblade holders?

I’m not saying I don’t trust Taravangian and his “newest Radiant” Malata, but... I DON’T TRUST TARAVANGIAN AND HIS NEWEST RADIANT MALATA

seriously, what is in Kholinar that all the parshmen are headed there? or...being driven there by their weird glow spren?

“Men of blood and sorrow don’t get an ending like that.” DAMN STRAIGHT THEY DON’T, YOU MURDEROUS CURMUDGEON

mmmmm she’s a Dustbringer? Our first one... “I don’t like how she smiles.” same though? I’m. concern.

oohh, I didn’t even think she might have an honorblade. where would Taravangian have gotten another honorblade. I remember reading something about there being more honorblades out and about in the world, but we don’t know whose, do we?

I. Am. Concern.

...........it’s not the bond. #confirmed by the stormfather. so there goes my theory about the the stormlight healing Dalinar’s memories.... hm

Taravangian getting all self-righteous about the Shin “murderering all those monarchs” like. even on a not-so-smart day he’s clever enough to deflect blame, to reinforce the idea that he’s just a harmless old man, would never command an assassin to kill off everyone’s kings. He’s terrifying, tbh.

mmmm, everyone thinking Dalinar is gonna attack them, I mean...good assumption but for once, you’re wrong!

omg

Dalinar, please, please do not go to war with the whole world all at the same time. Please.

I...don’t think that’s a spren...I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think it’s a spren. unless...can cities have spren? There are enough people, right? Can they manifest an incarnation of themselves? That’s basically what spren are, right? forces of nature made manifest, so...why not forces of civilization, too?

oh god

how long has it been alone?

this......is another story I wrote because it was sad, not because I wanted it. oh god. ooohh god. Urithiru...

OH ROCK!! ARE YOU OAK--okay, he’s okay.

wait

so it’s not just murders...it’s any sort of violence? the copycat is copying...all violence? or...just the criminal kind? surely it’s not copying all the violence of the army training or sparring. But...why? what’s to be gained from repeating the same crime a second time?

how long has this spren been alone and how mad is it?

does it think...violence is the way to be more human? to remember more? I’m...concerned and confused and. aaahhhhh

“Let me be stronger than those who would kill me.” punk!Dalinar, pls. you can pray for better things than that...

Dalinar keeping Navani’s prayer in his pocket like...my dude u r gettin married. the pining is. wow.

umm. #y i k e s

no wonder Kadash goes and joins the ardents...

Dalinar just...murdering a hundred people including some of his own men? is? really...like, okay, here’s the thing: We knew from the previous two books that Dalinar had done some bad shit. And we were told repeatedly that he’d changed dramatically. But being told and having it spelled out in...child murdering and unthinking friendly fire is...something else. The character development of this man is wild. and mildly uncomfortable. Like...his bad shit wasn’t just a few battles and some brutality of conquest. this was. really, really bad shit. And to see how far he’s come and how much he’s trying to atone for is. sure a thing.

and somehow people DIDN’T figure out that the Thrill is bad before now???

“This is a mercy” ARE YOU SURE?

AND THEN HE JUST GOES AND KILLS SOME MORE, JUST FOR FUNSIES

BUDDY. MY DUDE. YOU NEED TO STOP AND RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHOICES. PLEASE.

seriously, how does anyone think the Thrill is a good thing here.

Shallan really needs to look into her budding multiple personality disorder.

OKay, but are they siding with “the enemy” or are they siding with some parshmen who are now in workform and just want to be treated as real people instead of slaves? ‘cause like...you guys are all basing your strategy on the idea that EVERY parshman went stormform and started rampaging about killing everything in sight. And that definitely hasn’t happened yet.

Why hasn’t Kaladin mentioned this to you guys?? like?? oh, I guess he got his spanreed stolen, right? I just....... there’s a lot going on here, but there’s a certain amount of...maybe consider what the negotiations with the parshendi/parshmen/whatever they are now really are before you just...write them all off as evil?

Then again, these are Alethi lighteyes, who don’t really understand the concept of not generalizing a population they consider below themselves.

this is why the whole dudes not writing thing is ssooooooooo stupiiidddd. Kaladin can’t tell you guys ANYTHING unless he finds a nice lady to scribe for him. God, Vorinism is so stupid sometimes.

“Spark” is a good name for a spren tho, maybe she’s legit? I still don’t trust her. at all.

a flying bridgeman, Shallan, PLEASE

he’s a flying captain of the guard, at the very least.

nooo

NOOO

NO I DON’T WANT THIS

NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH FUCKING AMARAM THAT RAT BASTARD ALL THE TIME????? NOOO

NOOOOO

IALAI NO. YOU COULD HAVE JUST TAKEN OVER YOU’RE SMART ENOUGH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST HIGHPRINCESS AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWFUL BUT ALSO AWESOME BUT NO. NO YOU HAD TO JUST DRAG FUCKING AMARAM THAT RAT BASTARD INTO THIS.

I DON’T WANT THIS TAKE IT BACK, BRANDON.

“Highprince.” “Highprince.” “Bastard.” GOD BLESS ADOLIN, BOY WONDER.

oohhhhhh Adooolliinn. babe, you can’t just--okay. there is is. The Thing.

Shallan. “Oh.” UH HUH. OKAY THEN. SO MUCH FOR THAT SECRET though it wasn’t really a secret. just a miscommunication. but still. I sort of wish that Kaladin had been able to tell Shallan himself about Helaran--though, he still didn’t know it was Helaran.

But there would have been something satisfying in that being just...between the two of them. Them working that out and him probably apologizing and her probably not forgiving him and there would just be. delightful angst before they eventually decided to be friends. But Adolin telling her gives her time to prepare, I guess? for seeing Kaladin again? I still don’t think she’s going to forgive him which will make for veerryyy interesting dynamics when he returns.

Listen, I just really wanted Shallan to pull her Blade on Kaladin, and have him trying to avoid her attacks while apologizing a lot even though he was perfectly in his rights to defend his at-the-time commanding officer from a threat. That would have been delicious angst.

Hopefully she doesn’t hate Adolin for being the messenger, though...

“Everything would have been better off if he’d just let Amaram die.” TRUER WORDS, ADOLIN. tbh, how much do you think Kaladin thinks about that very exact same thought? The answer is: A FREAKING LOT

well, shit. destroying the Oathgate seems a reasonable option, but also it’s gonna make saving the world a heck of a lot harder...

I wonder...if they’d had literally anyone else do the negotiations, if this would be going differently. People know Dalinar, they know he’s the Blackthorn, or used to be, and they don’t know him well enough to know how much he’s changed. If the Blackthorn had come to me and been like, “yo, I want to open a portal to your city center and send you soldiers to help you rebuild” I would ALSO assume he was going to invade my city and try to conquer me and I would also refuse him. But like...if Shallan or someone completely unconnected had tried, I’d be a little more likely? to agree? Idk I feel like they are definitely being hindered by Dalinar’s reputation here.

Just don’t let Taravangian do it. Don’t let him do anything. Oh god.

“a unified Vorin coalition” OH GOOD NOW IT’S A RELIGIOUS WAR. or an Inquisition. Nobody expects the Vorin Inquisition.

I love that Dalinar just....knows how to do shit. Like, Kaladin and Shallan have been practicing and had training sessions with their spren to figure out their powers and even Lift is REALLY BAD at Friction, and Dalinar’s just like. Adhesion. Got it. No problem.

aaaAAAHHH Dalinar holding Oathbringer again and it’s...not screaming it’s whimpering and I’M. SAD. ABOUT A SWORD. DANGIT.

DON’T GIVE HIM THE SWORD. AMARAM DOESN’T DESERVE A SWORD. DON’T DO THAT

okay, but Amaram calling Dalinar a hypocrite is like... POTS AND KETTLES, MY DUDE.

Taravangian: “I sound like a madman, don’t I?” No, you sound like a man for whom the ends justify the means.

Here’s the thing: I see the practicality in Taravangian’s stance. There’s always a practicality in sacrificing a few good ones to get rid of all the bad ones. And yeah, Dalinar’s desire to always save all the good ones, even if it means sparing the bad ones, is just a tad idealistic. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. Idealism is never something that we should give up on, is never something we should ignore or stop working towards. We shouldn’t always have to settle for practicality.

hoooo cool. The Stormfather can just...send Dalinar to other people in visions wth that’s really cool. Like a Kyprioth/Aly situation except the destination person knows they’re there.

“Shallan had nothing to do, but Veil was useful.” No, Shallan. You’re useful. You are Veil. It’s not. It’s not a different person. It’s just you adsfghjkl just. YOU’RE ALICE, PARKER. GOD.

“Veil liked watching people. She shared that with Shallan.” THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE THE SAME PERSON. YOU ARE ALICE.

omg, I love that Pattern just...brought both Kholin bros and all of Bridge Four.

“go do something stupid without letting me watch” OMG PATTERN, BBY.

I have missed Bridge Four, hello darlings

THEY’RE JOKING WITH RENARIN AND HE’S SMILING AND THEY’RE FRIENDS AND I’M SO HAPPY AAHH

THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE THEM AAH

omg, I didn’t realize there was a staircase, I thought they were just going to be jumping into a void.

dear god, roshar has a Sisyphus equivalent that’s delightful.

sooo, I’m assuming that’s...Odium, Honor, and Cultivation in those mosaics? I’m genuinely amused that Shallan thinks they’re “pagan symbols”

Bridge Four took point even though there were two Shardbearers and an extra Radiant and MY BBYS I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

NOPE

NOPPPPPEEEE

NOOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEEE

DON’t DIE?

DON’T DIIIIIIEEEE

I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS HORROR NOVEL SHIT

NOOOOPE

ADOLIN NO! YOU STORMING FOOL DO NOT CHARGE THE DARKNESS UNMADE EVIL THING WHAT THE FUCK NO

NOOO

I’M OUT

BYE

if any of Bridge Four die, so help me, I will drive back to Utah and yell at Brandon personally. To his face.

NOOOPPE THIS IS CREEEEPPY AS FUUUCKK WHAT THE NOPE

ooohh Renarin’s a good, he’s healing them, that’s my boy

okay, the illusory army is preTTY DANG COOL GET IT GIRL

but also the Unmade thing is freaking terrifying and I’m nope

...I’m assuming that since Dalinar saw nine shadows and the champion that there’s one Unmade for each of the ten orders of Radiants? LIke, this one, the Midnight Mother can be directly countered by Lightweaving. So maybe another one is designed to be defeated by Windrunners or Elsecallers or whatever. And it’s one for each?

I genuinely love that the new Radiant’s don’t call their swords Shardblades. It’s Sylblade, Glysblade, Patternblade. I love it.

“Adolin [...] charged into the room, bursting right through the middle of an illusion of his father.” Well, ain’t that just storming appropriate. How beautifully poetic.

also, Adolin and Renarin fighting back to back is A LOT AND I’M LOVE THEM

ooohh my god, it’s trying to bond with her?? trying to rip Pattern away and bond with her that’s... YIKES.

oohhh shit....corrupted creationspren. ooohhhh my god.

Odium, why you gotta ruin everything good in this world, you jerk

ooh...it was...bound. by a Lightweaver. bound like the Parshendi’s gods? like the parshmen? how are we binding people? I’m getting the idea that maybe binding people is bad.

I’m getting the idea that Ishar is bad. but that’s a theory for another time.

okay, so...the pashmen weren’t...going to Kholinar. they were going to a tiny city a week’s walk from Hearthstone...to...besiege it? why

what. is. happening.

also omg Kaladin’s never been to a real city, someone take this child on a sightseeing vacation, asap.

how...did they take the city and what...are they gonna do with it?? I’m all for giving them land and lives but I’m worried about stormform. and voidbringers. and a lot of things.

the parshmen calling him Kal is murdering my soul

oooh noooooooooo there’s a highstorm coming and the people are all outside and the parshmen are camping, and I...am worried.

Yixli? that’s a terrible name. though I guess she’s a questionably evil spren of odium, so.

Fused? okay, that’s a fun word for Stormform.

Kal, babe, you need to get out of there.

Ah. Good choice.

Syl whacking at the gloryspren and telling them “Mine!” about Kaladin is FRIKKIN ADORABLE HI I LOVE SYL

of course it’s all perception, Kaladin, everything is different if you change your point of view. That’s what makes being a person so difficult.

“Treat them better than they treated you.” AMEN. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY THINGS GET BETTER.

it’s hard and it sucks a lot, but it’s the only way.

oh shit

oh sHIT

what. dark stormlight? what the?

SHIT

THERE’S LIKE, THREE OF THEM?

okay, only two. buT STILL

Why can they do Lashings? do sotrmform voidbringers whatever the fuck they are have Radiant orders too? WHAT IS HAPPENING

“You can’t save all of them.” BUT HE’S DAMN WELL GOING TO TRY

HE’S SO GOOD

SO GOOD

WHAT

THAT’S?? MAGICAL. WHAT. MAGIC WINDSPREN SHIELD????? CAN HE DO THIS NORMALLY OR IS THE STORMFATHER HELPING OR?? WHAT

omg, just...deposit him in front of Urithiru. That’s convenient. Why thanks.

YAAAASSSS

SHE’S HERE!!!!!

SHE’S BACK!!!!!!!!!

SHE’S HEEERRRREEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEESSSSSS

me: can I squeeze the interludes onto this part of liveblog? also me: *scrolls up to the top of this post forever me: Maaayyybe not.

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #ladyknightliveblogs #aaaahhh there is sooo much happening and so much left to happen and aaAAHH #oh hey I've now finished the preview novel--sorry the preview chapters #whoo hoo!!#Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #Brandon Sanderson

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claroquequiza · 6 years

Note

i'm late for this and idk if you'll get to this commentary prompt or if someone else asked, but one of my favorite moments in Afterdrop is where Mccree compares Hanzo and his situation to the criminals sent to that island to work, and i was wondering if you could elaborate on that scene!

McCree and Hanzo Get to Know Each Other And Are Instantly Best Friends

He tapped the earpiece. “Shimada here. I have returned to base and completed my security sweep. I can now report.”

“‘Bout time,” the cowboy huffed. “Alright, then Shimada, what did you get up to today?”

Hanzo fought down a sigh before he launched into a detailed description of the day’s activities. This, this was the worst part of his association with Overwatch: having to regurgitate all his movements once daily to his handler , who apparently considered even the smallest detail to be Overwatch business, and all over a channel that may or may not be secure. If it was not, it would be child’s play to track down the former Shimada heir.

Hanzo was found several times in the early years, and it was almost always due to electronic tracking--he had to build up some secret monetary funds to finally escape.

Worst of all, the cowboy seemed perfectly aware of Hanzo’s paranoia. Hanzo prodded at the unopened bentō, feeling his hunger fade and his paranoia rise as the cowboy asked him to clarify exactly where and when multiple times.

“You left ‘bout 1100? Got t’Sado ‘bout 12? Where in Sado? When did you arrive at Watchpoint: Niigata? When did you leave? Got back around 1930, you reckon?” And on and on. At least the fool was not revealing the location of the safehouse over the channel. Or perhaps not so foolish; Hanzo could imagine that would be a step too far in the cowboy’s attempts to discomfit him.

Jesse’s strategy here is to make Hanzo drop the comm and disappear. He knows better than just about anyone how someone knowing and transmitting your location fucks with your head when you’re on the run.

But Hanzo often found ways to return the favor.

“And so, uh, that cleanin’ bot--what exactly did they do with it?”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow, eyes focusing on the long and deepening shadows as the light coming through the window failed. “They charged it through the wall with the induction coils.”

“I know that. For what purpose?”

“To use the cleaning bot to access the servers.” There was silence on the other end of the channel. Hanzo smiled slightly. The cowboy usually asked for clarification to annoy him, and avoided asking when he actually needed clarification.

“How?”

“I do not understand.”

Something clicked on the cowboy’s end. A lighter, perhaps. “How did they use the bot to access the server?” he finally asked. Hanzo’s smile grew.

“Did Agent Winston not explain it to you?”

“He’s a busy ape,” replied the cowboy shortly. “Now I’m wonderin’ if you actually understood what was goin’ on or just wingin’ it.”

Jesse’s a smart man, so I was worried that he might come off as too dumb here, but I figure that Hanzo might have more experience with corporate espionage whereas Jesse is more of a counter-terrorism expert. I look forward to making that a bit clearer in upcoming chapters.

The kettle whistled on the stove. Hanzo held in a hiss and a groan as he stood to retrieve it and pour some water into one of the mugs he’d found in the cabinets. He took this time, swishing the water around to warm the mug before tossing the water out into the sink and refilling it. He settled back into the chair to allow it to cool a little before adding the tea.

I do not make tea correctly. I don’t warm up the mug beforehand, but tea is serious business for Hanzo.

“They charged the bot with the induction charger.”

“I know that, get to the point.”

“The bot powered on and began its usual cleaning cycle.”

He waited.

“And?”

“When it realized it was low on cleaning fluid, it tried to contact the cleaning staff.”

The other end was silent for a few moments. Then the cowboy ground out, “So did it--open the door?”

Hanzo allowed himself to chuckle dryly. “Without power? And would Overwatch be foolish enough to give a cleaning bot authorization to allow access to a Watchpoint’s central servers?”

“Then how, Shimada?” The cowboy’s voice was almost a growl. He did not appreciate any smugness from Hanzo. Hanzo, for his part, was tired and still chilled from the ocean and the wind, and was therefore already ready for the game to end.

“The wifi.”

“Come again?”

“It tried to connect to the Watchpoint’s wifi. When it could not detect it, it searched for any open network, because how could there be an unauthorized open network in range of the server room so deep within the base? The perpetrators merely had to provide an open wifi signal, wait for the bot to connect, and then hijack it.”

I used to work at a cellphone store, and by far the question I got most often from people is how secure WiFi is. I figure it’s a common enough fear that it would make sense to make it the cleaning bot’s downfall, especially since Overwatch was apparently so overly confident that it allowed a rebellion to flourish in its own ranks.

There was a burst of noise on the other end, a forceful exhale. Hanzo could imagine a puff of smoke winding through the air. He wrinkled his nose. “Clever,” the cowboy mused.

“As I said earlier,” Hanzo deadpanned. He heard a sniff.

“By the way, Shimada, I was readin’ up on Sado earlier. Not a popular place now, is it?”

SO. This was kind of an accident! I wanted Japan to be affected by the giant Omnic that regularly attacks South Korea, and it turns out I got the location completely wrong! The kaiju Omnic apparently lives in the East China Sea, rather than the Sea of Japan, so by all rights Hanzo should have been visiting a Watchpoint off the coast of Kyushu or some such. But this mistake worked out well because of Sado’s history, so--mistakes can be good?? I Guess?? I mean, an awful lot of islands were used this way, so I expect I could have found an island in Kyushu that was used similarly, but it turned out to be an awesome metaphor, so yay!

But I did get the game lore completely wrong here.

Hanzo knitted his eyebrows together. “I do not know. I do not know this region well.”

“Well, I was wonderin’ how you liked it. Seems like your kinda place, t’be honest.” Hanzo suppressed a snort, thinking back on the large yet lonely island. The cowboy had had to send the accursed dinghy because the island had become so depopulated in the wake of the Omnic Crisis that it only had ferry service once every two weeks. It was isolated, yes, but there was such a thing as too isolated. Getting his arrows’ components and training equipment there would be a constant nightmare.

I was super excited to explain where Hanzo gets and keeps his equipment, so I dropped a little hint of that here. I don’t know why I love backstory so much, but I do. God help me, I love it.

He stood again to put the tea leaves and strainer in the mug, his prosthetics catching on the irritated skin of his stubs. He grimaced as he hobbled the short distance to the counter. “It was--not to my taste,” he muttered.

The cowboy chuckled. Darkly. Hanzo felt his hackles rise a bit. “Well, that would be part of the reason it’d suit you. It used t’be a popular place t’send exiles. Political figures, poets that said the wrong thing to the wrong people. Criminals.”

Hanzo lowered his hands to his sides, staring at the mug without seeing.

“Even had a gold mine for the criminal element t’find some good, backbreaking work while staying nice and far away from everyone.” The cowboy paused. “Perfect for you, right?”

Hanzo did not reply.

“That’ll be all for today, Shimada.”

And the connection went dead.

And here is the reason for the title of the fic! An afterdrop is a phase of hypothermia where a victim’s core body temperature will often drop after you start warming them up! The reason seems to be that the body stops circulating the blood in the limbs in an effort to keep the blood in the core nice and toasty, and once you start warming the victim up, all that chilly blood in the limbs starts flowing into the core and makes them cold again.

So here, Hanzo is annoyed and frustrated by his circumstances, but hey, he’s at least a little partial to giving tit for tat and trying to hit back at Jesse! But from now on, Hanzo’s not even going to attempt that much. Things get even worse with the disaster at the warehouse and so on, but here is where Hanzo might have started warming up a little--only to get much, much colder.

Thank you so much for the prompt!! I hope you enjoyed it!!

#asks #my fics #behind the scenes #Anonymous

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izumisays · 7 years

Text

Dear creator,

Thank you so much for reading this and signing up for this wonderful annual conspiracy!

I hope you have a lovely time, and that this letter can contribute to it. If any of the fandoms below pique your interest, I’m delighted already, and very interested to hear your thoughts on them.

Fandoms: Nimona, In Other Lands, Captive Prince, Machineries of the Empire

As for reading preferences, I’m happy with a wide variety of tones and genres, from lighthearted shenanigans to dramatic casefics, and pretty much all ratings, but the core of all stories I love is always character interaction. How they play off each other and bring out their best/worst, how they would react to a divergence of events, how true would they stay to their selves in a different setting - these are the kind of questions I’m all chinhands for. POV games, a missing scene, a casefic, canon expansion, backstories and what-ifs are all fair game, so choose your weapon!

I would be very grateful if you could avoid a/b/o and similar kinktropes, played-straight soulmate fic, and character interpretation that runs contrary to their core values. If in doubt, please reach out to me on anon - the askbox is open!

NIMONA (any characters)

It is no mystery at all why I completely imprinted on this book. What is a mystery, however, is how I survived to this day and age without having loved Nimona for years - how did I even live unaware of its existence, up until an impulse purchase a month ago? WHAT A TRAVESTY.

Anyway, I massively adore Nimona to bits: a perfect fusion of story and pictures, chaotic evil Nimona (CHOMP!), Ballister of the big heart and stoic love for strays and SCIENCE, Ambrosius of awkward good instincts and poor decisions - I just want to pinch everyone’s cheeks and hug them to my chest. For six hours. Approximately. It’s open for negotiation :’)

I’m requesting any characters because I’d be honestly delighted by seeing each one of them <3

A day in casa de Blackheart with Nimona and Ballister! Hatching evil schemes or having a pizza night - or both. BOTH IS GOOD. A flashback to Ballister and Ambrosius’s younger days (that christmas special *clutches heart*). A future with Nimona infiltrating Ballister’s lab and his & Ambrosius’s couch with popcorn and underhanded science! Nimona grumpily acquiescing to Goldenloin’s presence in Ballister’s life! Generally ANY AND ALL HIJINKS feat. heartwarmth and unapologetic monster girl love and fierce protectiveness of each other, much in the spirit of the lovely, lovely source material.

IN OTHER LANDS (Luke Sunborn)

Elliot is a spectacular narrator. Novel-shaped case in point: In Other Lands.

Having said that, what I really, really want to see is a story that makes Luke a narrator, or otherwise puts him at the center. I have it on good authority that he makes one fucking adorable narrator (novella-shaped case in point: Wings in the Morning), but why stop there, right?

Luke/Elliot, either post-canon or slightly amending canon, is always a delight. Luke crushing on Elliot for years in a resigned, semi-unaware (or aware!) manner - he gives Elliot Dale’s name only as a distraction, to get Elliot off his back, and watches with horrified eyes how every member of his family is suddenly out there to set him up with the wrong boy! Luke handling the thought of Elliot the boyfriend with awkwardness unbefitting a Trigon champion (granted, Elliot is kinda more prickly than an average glass ball). Luke having 110% confidence in Elliot and admiring him sass people into submission from the sidelines.

A look at Luke’s friendship with Serene - completely compatible with Luke forever crushing on Elliot, just saying ^^. I suspect lack of Elliot’s Serene goggles could do marvels to building nuance to her character: a little less reverse gender comedy just for the sake of comedy, a little more someone who is clever enough to balance multiple things, connect the dots, and learn, and stand by what she believes is right.

Competence kinkkk. Forever admiring the bookish people, refusing to stop trying to catch up, and zero time spent being conceited about own achievements while fully embracing his role of a champion and defender - that’s the Luke I love <3 Luke’s brand of leadership & charisma - an introverted champion, well-loved by people and easily tired of company of not his people.

Figuring out life after graduation! Casefic of them solving a mystery and preventing a war breakout! Getting assignments and storming the castles! Building cross-cultural competence by throwing Elliot at new people and watching him sign up new pen friends and treaties!

Sunborn family fic! A holiday get together? Drunken exchange of family stories? Another terrible competition that Elliot boycotts? Rachel reading Luke’s letters from year one and with great amusement observing the progression of his “THAT ELLIOT” feelings. God I love the Sunborns <3

I’m not particularly fond of Dale, on understanding that he got enough screentime as is already I’d be grateful if you didn’t center the fic around him. Obviously no objections to him as part of class ensemble, whose names Luke will never bloody remember.

CAPTIVE PRINCE (Damen, Laurent, Auguste, Jokaste)

You would not have wanted to see me at the peak of my CP obsession - dignity readers for miles around were in the red zone for months, I can tell you that. Even my bitter disappointment with many things in the third book didn’t survive the onslaught of feelings that overcome me every time I turn my thoughts to this series. R e g u l a r l y. (If you don’t think Prince’s Gambit is the high point of modern literature, f i t e m e)

Things that make me happy:

Laurent/Damen endgame, always.

Auguste! Alive and well and fiercely proud of Laurent and quite possibly giving young Damen - his admiring bro - confused boners. Which he manfully swoonstruggles against, because see above.

Clever, competent Damen that drives Laurent up the wall of his fervent refusal to admit any of it affects him

Laurent POVs in general. There is nothing more delightful than a well-crafted narration of acerbic denial of hearteyes, self-crafted personality, hardwon competence and utter self-awareness.

Did I say competence porn yet? Hearteyes, motherfucker, hearteyes!!

Jokaste-Laurent queenbee friendships - vipers united!

Consider this: FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS arrangement for a CERTAIN AGENDA feat. Jokaste and Laurent - preceding or purposefully leading to Laurent/Damen endgame. Benefits as imagined by Damen, the poor cookie? Fake dating for purposes of short-circuiting Damen’s brain with the blonde ratio? :DD

Mafia/noir AUs *swoon* In fact, a variety of modern or historic AUs would be an a+ sandbox to play in and watch the chemistry unfold.

On another note, I have the soft spot the size of Delfeur for Nicaise and particularly Nicaise & Laurent spiky sibling-like affection, so if you think your story could benefit from that, please don’t hesitate to include it <3

I’m absolutely okay with fic that would not include all four - it’s just that I couldn’t omit either Auguste and Jokaste from the list of happy things. You are most welcome to include only one of the two, or none, if you want to concentrate on Laurent and Damen only.

Canon divergences, what-ifs and AUs are super-welcome for this canon. Please feel free to play to your heart’s content!

MACHINERIES OF THE EMPIRE (Shuos Mikodez)

I didn’t know how to request what would essentially be just heartfelt sobbing of PLEASE WRITE FIC FOR THIS AMAZING MEME ART (“please send help my family is starving!!”) - but if! By any chance! This is what you want to do, please disregard everything from math rules to heretic calendrical rituals, and go for it :DD i keep shoving this picture into all of my friends’ faces and get vaguely upset that they don’t immediately agree with me on how brilliant it is; maybe I should revise my strategy and give them the books to read first, hmm.

I’m fond of most of the cast of the books, especially of how competent and done with nonsense they are 99% of their screen time. Mentor relationships were amazing - Cheris and Jedao in Ninefox Gambit was a thing of true beauty, Zehun and Mikodez continuously delight me, and I’m looking forward to what book 3 will bring on this front, too (Nija? Please say Nija!). But as I need to choose something that won’t be guaranteed to make the matching algorithm cry, let me center it around a character that delights me and makes others cry instead.

Mikodez in his younger days! Zehun, I’m so sorry for your loss of sleep and possibly hair, teenagers are the worst, teenage Miki is the worst best Miki, and I am dying to hear all about his notorious Academy heroics.

Mikodez, Zehun, Nija and Cheris, the most terrifying parental equation of this calendar <3

Mikodez and his Questionable Alliances. Kujen “I had a friend once and then the leash broke” Nirai. Jedao - how does Miki’s view of the man change with Cheris in the game, and her (literal) insights about the dead mad general?

Mikodez throwing endless shade on all other factions, especially Andan. (Sorry, Andan. At least you’re pretty.)

Mikodez and his secret humanitarian agenda that he will politely deny forever, get fake-distracted by one of his bazillion hobbies and miss whatever sleep time he had scheduled in the day because he will inevitably get genuinely carried away. Every. Fucking. Time.

As a sidenote, I’m terribly fond of Vahenz <3 Bring her back! Let Vahenz have her fun! Let Mikodez meet his true competition for world domination and in the race towards diabetes.

I really liked Istradez, and would be happy to see him among the army of Mikodez’s high powered babysitters, but am not really in the market for Mikodez/Istradez shipfics.

Thank you very much for reading the letter! Please be assured I’m super excited to read everything you write already <3

#dear creator letter #yuletide #yuletide 2017

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pitviperofdoom · 7 years

Text

BNHA: Summer Stars, 13/13

Summary: It’s been judged safe to send the students of UA home to their families for the first three weeks of summer, much to the relief of everyone whose name isn’t Todoroki Shouto. Luckily, Midoriya has a solution for him, and Midoriya Inko has a lot of love to give.

AO3

“This is going to cause a lot of trouble, isn’t it.”

It wasn’t a question, and Shouto clearly didn’t mean it as one. He said it like it was a foregone conclusion, like he had no hope of being anything but a burden, and Izuku could feel his every instinct crying out in protest. He sounded so tired, so resigned.

“Of course it is,” Aizawa said bluntly. Izuku saw his mother open her mouth to rebuke him, but he continued before she had the chance. “It’s an awful mess, but regardless, it’s one that must be dealt with. That will be dealt with.” His eyes flashed red, briefly. “The problem is that your concerns about the public are valid.”

“I hope that doesn’t mean you’re planning on compromising on this for the sake of politics.” Mom sounded reproachful. Izuku shifted in his seat, uncomfortably reminded of how she’d read the riot act to All-Might after the Kamino incident.

Aizawa’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t compromise when it comes to the safety of my students.”

“What Aizawa is trying to say,” All-Might spoke up, “is that as polarizing a figure as Endeavor is, he still holds a significant amount of political sway.” He pulled a face. “So politics are involved in this whether we like it or not, if only because he can and will use it to his advantage.”

“Nothing new,” Shouto muttered. “It doesn’t matter either way—my main problem’s solved once I graduate anyway.”

“What this means is not that we’re going to sit on our hands while this continues,” All-Might went on, with a sharp look at Shouto. “It simply means we have to prioritize, and pick our battles.”

“And be sneaky about it?” Izuku added.

“That would probably be best.” All-Might’s mouth twisted wryly. “I’m not very good at sneaky, unfortunately.”

“You’ll pick it up,” Aizawa told him. “For now—Todoroki. Knowing what I know now, I’m not comfortable sending you home to him anymore. Any objections to that?”

“Not really,” Shouto said, after a moment’s hesitation. “The dorms—I mean, living at school has been better. A lot better. And I think…” He steeled himself. His hand, held loosely in Izuku’s, curled into a fist. “It’d be best if I didn’t go back, because that’d give my sister a reason to leave, too.”

Izuku saw Aizawa’s eyes go a shade colder.

Shouto must have noticed too, because he was quick to continue. “She doesn’t have it as bad as me. Mostly he just ignores her, and she stays out of his way and makes sure—well. If I can leave for good, then she won’t have any reason to stay there.”

“We’ll do everything we can,” All-Might said. There was steel in his voice. Izuku felt a thrill in his heart, hearing that tone. These days, it was rare to hear All-Might sound like the man that bore the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“There’s no quick solution, unfortunately,” Aizawa said. “It’s going to be an ongoing effort—mostly a matter of stonewalling and diverting him whenever he comes looking for you.” His brow furrowed. “With his position, I doubt we can keep him away from you entirely, but at the very least we can make sure someone else is in the room who’s on your side.”

“That’s fine,” Shouto said. “I don’t need to get away from him entirely, just…”

“You don’t like him having all that power over you,” Mom said quietly.

Todoroki nodded, lip curling scornfully. “He has his uses. Parenting isn’t one of them.”

“Hm.” Mom pursed her lips thoughtfully. Izuku recognized that frown—she looked like that when there was something nagging at her, something she couldn’t quite let go. “Todoroki, I did have one concern.” His mismatched eyes flickered back to her. “It was something that man said—Deimos, I mean. About… about your mother.”

Izuku felt Shouto stiffen. “It wasn’t her fault,” he said forcefully. “She knew it was wrong, she knew—I heard her talking on the phone, and she knew she wasn’t well—she wanted to leave because she was afraid she was going to hurt me, but she couldn’t—”

“I understand.” Mom cut through his protests with a gentle hand on his arm. “I understand, I’m not accusing her of anything, I promise.” Beneath her hand, he relaxed a little. “But… Deimos said something about—about Endeavor using her? To control you? Was that true?”

“I…” Shouto blinked, staring into her eyes with a lost expression. “I don’t know. He never said it outright, and neither has she, but I know—” His face tightened with disgust and creeping guilt. “I know I was the main reason she didn’t cross him, when she still lived with us, and I’ve always wondered if he’d do the same with me.” He scowled again. “He’s paying her hospital bills, after all.”

For a few cathartic seconds, Izuku basked in the look on his mother’s face, the plain exhilarating desire to skin the current Number One hero alive. He could see that want reflected on Aizawa’s face. All-Might’s was half-hidden by his hair, but he could practically feel the dark thoughts radiating from him.

For his part, Izuku felt… not quite so angry as he had before. There was still lingering protective anger, of course, but it was loosened by relief. The weight was spreading, being distributed over multiple sets of shoulders rather than just his and Shouto’s.

“If money is the object, then I can take care of that, at least,” All-Might said at length. At Shouto’s uncertain look, he shrugged. “The bulk of my income went to charity anyway. If Endeavor tries to pull any mischief regarding your mother’s wellbeing, I can certainly counter it.” It’s the least I can do, he didn’t say.

Shouto looked at All-Might the way a drowning man looks at a rope.

“The only immediate difficulty is that Endeavor’s due back tomorrow,” Aizawa said. “And—no offense to you, Mrs. Midoriya, but if he were to come knocking on your door demanding his son back, I don’t know if there’s much you could do to turn him away.”

“Give him a heartfelt kick in the pants, at least,” Inko said. Shouto coughed oddly. Izuku, with far less decorum, snorted with laughter. “But I see your point.” She shot an apologetic glance toward Shouto.

“It was fun while it lasted,” Shouto said quietly.

“Your first option is to simply spend the rest of the break on campus,” Aizawa went on. “We can spin some tale about protecting you from possible backlash after you defeated Deimos, and that should be enough to make Endeavor look the other way.”

“Just the first option?” Izuku broke in, more curious than anything else. “There’s more than one?” He almost missed the look that passed between Aizawa and All-Might. Or rather, he did miss it from Aizawa, but he caught it on All-Might. If Izuku didn’t know him better, he would have thought his mentor looked almost vindictive. And while Aizawa’s face gave nothing away, as always, it didn’t exactly disagree.

It wasn’t a common sight, to see both his teachers on exactly the same page. But damn if it wasn’t a reassuring one.

“It depends on if you’re comfortable with us bringing one more person in on this,” Aizawa said to Shouto. “As we’ve said, this is going to take more strategy than anything else. Intellect. Wits. Whatever.” He waved vaguely toward All-Might. “Everything he doesn’t have.”

“Who?” Shouto asked.

Aizawa told them.

Izuku’s eyes widened. “That’ll do it.” He looked to Shouto. It was up to him, in the end; Izuku suspected that if Shouto outright refused, Aizawa would have put up a fight but ultimately caved and found another way.

There was a smile playing about the corners of Shouto’s mouth. It wasn’t a friendly one.

“The old bastard’s clever,” Shouto said. “But not that clever.” He nodded. “Okay. I’m fine with letting him know, too.”

Aizawa got to his feet. “He’ll still be on campus about now. Knowing him, he’ll probably thank you for the excuse to plot.”

---

On the other side of campus, Principal Nedzu paused in his office, one ear flicking of its own accord.

His nose twitched, and he sneezed.

---

Inko hung back when Aizawa took the boys to the main campus admin building. She couldn’t follow, not just yet. Today had been harrowing, to say the least, and she’d scarcely had time to stop and breathe and feel things like a human being again. All-Might, ever helpful (and benignly meddlesome), stayed back with her.

Scarcely had the others left when Inko finally let herself stop fighting it. It had been building and building for too long—since her and All-Might’s narrow escape she’d been keeping it back, keeping herself in check. There was nothing quite like parenting for teaching one to hold off their weaknesses until the appropriate time, and Inko had sixteen years of practice.

Once the boys were out of sight, she let herself sag, and the aching pressure in her chest rose to her throat and choked her next breath. Her face crumpled, and she let her forehead fall into her hands as the crying fit overtook her.

She felt the cushion beneath her sag as All-Might moved closer, and his hand settled gently on her back. Hot tears poured down her face—sad tears, angry tears, and tears from all over the spectrum.

“His own family,” was all she could say. “He did that to his own family. His child. Who does that to a child?”

If All-Might had an answer for her, he didn’t offer it up. He simply heaved a sigh, and sat with her until the wave of crying finally ebbed. It took a minute or four; Inko had been holding back all day.

“O-oh dear,” she said, sniffling, when she could finally trust herself to speak again. She accepted the clean handkerchief he offered and did her best to dry her face. “I apologize, I just—couldn’t do that in front of them, had to be strong…”

“It’s all right,” All-Might told her. There was a hint of sad humor in his voice. “At least now I know where young Izuku gets it.”

A watery chuckle bubbled up from her chest. “Oh, you,” she said, swatting him lightly with the handkerchief. After a moment, she sat up straight again and took a deep breath to steady herself. “I have to admit, I feel—a little useless, here. I’m not sure how much I can help.”

“We’ll keep you in the loop,” All-Might assured her. She glanced at him, and found a small smile on his gaunt face. “You’re trustworthy. More to the point, you’re someone young Todoroki can trust, and that’s enough on its own. Besides—something tells me you’ll keep us honest.”

She managed to smile back. “Not too honest, I hope. I’d hate for that—that man to find out what you’re planning.”

All-Might’s smile faded. “Can’t have that,” he said simply. “It’ll be good to have Nedzu on board. Subtlety… isn’t my strong suit. If I’d found this out a year ago, I would have confronted him. I could have confronted him. I think it might’ve made a difference, then. But now…”

“You’re doing it again,” Inko sighed, patting her damp face dry.

“Hm?”

“Gathering up all the troubles of the world and piling them on your shoulders.” Inko shook her head. “I understand why you blame yourself. But I don’t believe you’re at fault.” He turned his head away, and she frowned. “No, look at me—look at me.” When he didn’t, she reached out and firmly turned his chin so that he was facing her again. She stared at him fiercely, daring him to try looking away again. “That man broke an unspoken trust. That is his crime, not yours. And the fact that you expected better of him only goes to show that he couldn’t meet the bare minimum of decency.”

All-Might blinked, astonished. “Thank you,” he said quietly. He didn’t try to look away again. “But all the same… I’ve been involved in this from the start, even if I didn’t know it. Especially if I didn’t know it. I failed to see the consequences of my own actions. So I will always, always hold myself responsible for this. But… by now, the self-blame only accounts for about half of me.”

That was about as good as she was going to get. “And the other half?”

His eyes, dark and sunken in his weathered face, glinted with a fierce light. “Wants Endeavor’s head on a stick.”

---

It was strange—while it was all happening, it had seemed to drag with agonizing sluggishness as Shouto told and re-told what he knew. And yet, when it was finished and both his words and his throat had gone dry, it seemed to him that it was over as abruptly as it all had started.

Either way, he returned to the dorms feeling wrung out and numb, as if every drop of emotion had been squeezed from him like water from a sponge.

Izuku was quiet. He hadn’t said much during their meeting with the principal, but stayed practically glued to Shouto’s side, and he was grateful on both counts. Izuku’s presence was comforting, but at times like this, Shouto didn’t feel up for even a one-sided conversation.

To be perfectly honest, at this point he didn’t feel up for anything but finding a quiet corner where he could curl up and hide from the world.

The best he could do, for now, was stare at the opposite wall and either wait to be addressed, or wait until he could find the ideal corner.

All-Might and Mrs. Midoriya looked up as they returned. The former’s face was carefully blank, but Mrs. Midoriya’s looked red and blotchy from crying. Quickly, Shouto returned his attention to the wall.

“Well?” All-Might said.

“He’s on board,” Aizawa replied. “He’ll want to talk to both of us later, but for now…” Briefly, Shouto felt his teacher’s eyes on him. “That’s all we need from you.”

He heard All-Might sigh with relief. “Right. Deimos is in custody, and the danger is past. It’s safe for you to go home.”

“Thank goodness,” Mrs. Midoriya said softly.

“If I were to make a suggestion,” Aizawa spoke up again. “Pay your own home a visit on the way, Todoroki.” Shouto looked up, trying not to tense visibly. “You’ll want to talk to your sister, I think. And pick up anything there that you want to keep with you, because if we have our way, then you won’t be going back for quite some time.”

The knot in Shouto’s chest began to loosen ever so slightly, and he nodded.

“All right,” Mrs. Midoriya said, her tone cool. “Well, thank you. Both of you. Keep me posted?”

“We’ll be in touch,” All-Might replied.

At some point from the dorms to the car, Izuku slipped his hand into Shouto’s and laced their fingers together lightly. Shouto could feel rough scars against his palm, and finally raised his eyes as they were crossing the parking lot.

“How’re you holding up?” Izuku’s voice brushed against his ear.

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted. “I’m sort of…” His voice trailed off. Tired. Numb. Slightly terrified. “Not used to this.”

“What?”

“Um.” Shouto pursed his lips. “Having… something done? I’ve been fine, so far, just… waiting it out. And now something’s being done about it, and it’s… different.”

Izuku squeezed his hand gently. “Good different or bad different?”

“I don’t know yet,” he repeated. Pursing his lips turned to biting them. “This could backfire, badly.”

“Aizawa-sensei knows what he’s doing,” Izuku said simply. “And even if he doesn’t, Principal Nedzu will.”

“He’ll be angry if he finds out too soon,” Shouto went on as they approached the car. His mind wasn’t letting him feel the fear of it; instead, it held his emotions at arm’s length. He could identify them, even feel them reaching past his mental barriers to take hold, but they weren’t quite touching him yet. That was probably something he should worry about, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything at all yet. This was ridiculous; he’d agreed to all of this already, so why was he suddenly spouting off his misgivings?

“He’s always angry, from what I’ve seen,” Izuku replied.

“But not at you. And if he finds out how much you’re doing…” The fear was creeping closer, clawing past the fog. It wasn’t just fear and anxiety, either; he could feel the old shame, as well—the guilt of causing trouble for someone else, of being a burden—

Midoriya Inko turned to face him, and her green eyes blazed with a warm fierceness he hadn’t seen in her before.

“Now, you listen to me, Todoroki Shouto.” Her face was calm, her voice gentle. “I want you to memorize what I tell you, Okay? No matter what happens, remember it—

“You are always welcome in my home.”

Shouto blinked at her, caught off guard. He’d heard something similar from her before, but not like this.

“And I want you to remember that.” She had to reach upward to take hold of his shoulders. “And I want you to think of that whenever you need to. If ever you feel unsafe, or unloved, you remember that. My door is always open to you, if ever you need it. You deserve to feel safe, and you deserve to feel loved, and you are always welcome.”

By the time his reaching feelings finally forced their way through the barrier of numbness, they didn’t feel like fear and guilt anymore. They didn’t feel like anything he could identify, even as they wrung tears from his eyes before he could think to prevent them.

Izuku’s mother didn’t give him the chance to wipe them away before she pulled the two of them into a hug. “Now,” she went on after pulling back. “Let’s get going, shall we? I think we can all use a quiet day.”

Not trusting himself to speak, Shouto nodded as he hurriedly dried his eyes.

Izuku didn’t let go of his hand.

---

“Hello, All-Might,” Nedzu greeted cheerfully from across the room. The school principal was at the counter, standing on a specially-designed stepladder as he carefully made a pot of tea. “Oh! Goodness, is my two-thirty appointment here already? The time nearly escaped me.” The smile on his scarred face didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“He’s here,” Toshinori replied with a single stiff nod. Endeavor had returned the day after Deimos’s capture and made a beeline for UA once he realized his son was strangely absent, and Toshinori hadn’t caught a glimpse of him yet. If he were perfectly honest, he was avoiding it, but he’d heard enough before hurrying to alert the principal. “And he isn’t happy about it. He showed up early, and from the sound of it, he has a lot of questions. Aizawa has been batting him around like a verbal pinball for about five minutes now while I came to let you know.” He paused. “You probably don’t need the headstart in the long run, but I’d like to stack the deck anyway.”

“Indeed. Thank you, All-Might.” Nedzu descended the stepladder with a steaming cup in his paws. “And if I may ask out of curiosity, do you know where Todoroki and Midoriya are now?”

“Young Midoriya mentioned something or other about going out for ramen, but that was about an hour ago, so it’s anyone’s guess.” Toshinori gave a careless shrug. “It’s their break. Their business.”

“Good, good.” Nedzu blew lightly on his tea and sipped. He seemed to savor the taste for a moment, one ear twitching as if bothered by a nonexistent fly. “This won’t be over quickly, you know.”

“Hm?”

“It will be an arduous tightrope walk for everyone involved,” Nedzu went on. “And it certainly won’t be solved overnight. I am very good, All-Might, and you and Aizawa were right to bring me in. But I’m hardly a miracle-worker.” He tilted his head to the side, looking thoughtful. “In fact, this meeting today will mostly be a matter of pacifying and redirecting him until he agrees to leave well enough alone. Not lying to him about his son’s whereabouts, of course—that would technically be illegal. But I’m going to be… convincing him, to submit to our judgment over his desires. Which will be an interesting challenge by itself, I hope.”

“Is that truly all you can do for now?” Try as he might, Toshinori couldn’t keep the pain out of his voice.

Nedzu gave him a stern look over the rim of his cup, which was quite a feat for such a diminutive figure. “I understand your impatience, All-Might. But I will not confront Todoroki Enji directly over his misdeeds until I can confirm with absolute certainty that we can protect his family from any and all possible backlash.” His hackles were up, the fur fluffing around his neck until he appeared marginally bigger than normal. “His hands are virtually tied if he wants to attack any one of us. But that isn’t the case with his wife or children.”

Toshinori ground his teeth.

Slowly, the principal’s fur began to lie flat again. “You are angry.” His tone was absolutely tranquil, and the smile was back on his face. He looked up again, and his beady dark eyes seemed to glitter for a moment. “Good. So am I.”

A moment later, heavy footsteps thumped into hearing range, somewhere in the hallway beyond the closed door. Toshinori felt his gut clench at the mere sound of familiar footfalls, and looked to Nedzu for a hint as to whether it showed on his face.

He was reminded, just for a moment, that no one was ever really sure what sort of creature the principal of UA was. He looked quite a bit like an oversized mouse, and given his name, that was what most people assumed he was.

But no rodent had teeth like that. Maybe that was why Nedzu didn’t show them very often, not even to smile the way he was doing now.

“If I may ask a favor, All-Might?” Nedzu said. “Do send him in, on your way out.”

And All-Might couldn’t help but think, as he walked to comply, that a smile didn’t have to be a happy one to be reassuring.

---

“You aren’t nervous, are you?” Shouto asked.

“Me? Nervous?” Izuku put on his brightest smile. “What makes you think I’m nervous?”

“You’re sort of trailing behind me, so I just assumed…”

“I’m not trailing behind you,” Izuku informed him. “I’m following you, because obviously you’ve been here loads of times before, so you know the way better than I do.”

Shouto paused, and when Izuku halted a pace behind him, he raised a single white eyebrow.

Hiding his embarrassment, Izuku huffed a quiet breath. “I’m not nervous,” he insisted. “I just want to make a good impression, that’s all.”

“Don’t overthink it,” Shouto told him. “You’re the last person I’d worry about making a good first impression.”

“Oh, the stories I could tell you,” Izuku muttered. “This one time, when I first met Nighteye—”

“Izuku?” Shouto’s voice was fond.

“Yes?”

Shouto held out his hand.

Izuku very quickly lost the battle with the smile stealing over his face. He took Shouto’s hand—the cool one on the right—and stepped forward to walk beside him.

“So, uh, did you get the chance to tell her that we’re…?”

“No,” Shouto said as they approached the door. “But I’m about to.”

“W-wait, Shouto—”

With a light tug, Shouto led him into the room. “Hi, Mom—oh, you’ve been busy.”

Izuku blinked. The room around him bore a passing resemblance to a hospital room, but only just; he never imagined one would look so lived-in. There was color all over—in the quilt on the bed, the framed photos and books on the table across from it, one laminated newspaper clipping on the wall, and what looked like uneven first attempts at crochet draped over the foot of the bed frame. And in the midst of it all sat a woman with snow-white hair, with an open book in her lap and a crochet hook in her hand, working with a roll of blue yarn. She raised her head at the sound of Shouto’s voice, and her face lit up.

“Hello, Shouto! And…” Her eyes turned to Izuku.

“This is Midoriya Izuku,” Shouto said. “I’ve, um. Told you about him.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Izuku said, a bit bashfully.

Her eyes softened. “Oh, believe me,” she said. “The pleasure is all mine. My son has told me so much about you…” Her voice trailed off, and Izuku could tell from the way her eyes flickered downward that she noticed their joined hands.

Beside him, Shouto followed her gaze. “Yeah, we sort of, um…” He hesitated. “It was just this past week, so I didn’t get the chance to tell you earlier.”

His mother laughed softly. “It’s only been a week, and we already have some catching up to do. Have a seat, both of you. I want to hear all about it.”

The knot of nervousness in Izuku’s chest loosened to nothing as he sat down next to Shouto. The resemblance was easy to see when he looked from Shouto to his mother—from the hair to the shape of their chins, and the way they both smiled as if they were still re-learning how.

“A lot’s happened,” Shouto went on. “Some things are going to change.”

“For the better?” his mother asked.

Shouto stole a glance at Izuku, and his smile was weary but it reached his eyes. “Yes,” he said, and his hand was cold but holding it made Izuku feel nothing less than warm.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #tododeku #fanfiction #tales from the pit

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diamondscosplay · 7 years

Text

[Fic] Warrior's Broken Heart [Armin/Reiner]

SPOILER WARNING This fic contains spoilers from the first season as well as parts from episode 31 *Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin, in case you were confused ^^ *

-Word count: 2562

I had this idea just after watching episode 31, so sorry for the feels D:

__________________________ The morning light shimmered through the sand dusted window, just like every other morning at the dessert looking training camp. It might only have been a few weeks, maybe a month, but they seemed to have a connection. Most evenings, after supper, they would find Reiner’s board of chees and play until lights-out. Sometimes even longer, in case a game were close to be done, and other times it would stand for multiple days, because one of them would try out a new technique.

You wouldn’t think Reiner to be much of a brain, looking like he did. All muscle, loud laughter and a huge heart. But Armin saw it. Anyone knew Armin was a bookworm and in training he would always be reading a book, or find someone to discuss new defense plans.

He often played chess as well, when anyone would join him. Bertholdt would join him, even Marco at times before he passed. Bertholdt and Armin used to have clever conversations as well. Not as much, but from time to time they did. Armin did prefer to spend his evenings at Reiner’s, with his board he bought one day at a trip to a small town nearby. How he could buy it at the first place, puzzled Armin for days, let alone how he smuggled it back here. It was beautiful to Armin. Dark brown, almost black, wood and white for the opposite, but darkened by age, leaving them a tint yellow.

Armin just enjoyed spending time with Reiner, more than anyone. They could talk for hours, and Reiner wouldn’t laugh at his ‘stupid’ ideas. He would compliment them, improve them. Armin couldn’t do that with anyone else. Eren wouldn’t understand and Mikasa wouldn’t care. Jean did try to understand from time to time, but after Marco, he didn’t talk much. But Reiner really did like to spend that kind of time with Armin. Just talk, not only strategies or tactics, but also life. Armin trusted Reiner enough to show him his grandfather’s book. Tell him about the ocean. At first, Reiner didn’t reply. Armin feared he would burst out in laughter, or yell at him for breaking the law. But he didn’t say anything. Not at first. No, he was quiet, with his hand at his chin, clutched. Armin could tell he was thinking about what he had just said, because Reiner’s eyebrows cocked in a way they only did in battle or when it was his turn during a game of chess. “If it really is true, I want to see the ocean too.” Was Reiner’s response, after a while. They both couldn’t help but smile over their own silliness, knowing it would never happen. How could it? It would soon be the day they should choose sides. The Military Police, Garrison or Scouting Legion. Armin had already chosen. To follow Eren and Mikasa to save humanity, and one day, maybe one day, go outside the walls to see the world Armin dreamt would be there.

Reiner did try to talk him out of it. Almost the same night he taught Eren to use the 3dmg. He was worried for Armin’s safety. “It would be a waste to let your brain be titan food!” “You think I’m weak. Just like everybody else!” It wouldn’t have been the first time someone laughed at Armin and the fact that he was in the training corps. But he fought, and trained. He wanted to follow Eren. Wanted to follow his own dream. It just had to be true. There had to be more!

Reiner had to think of something, and fast. Armin grew stronger by the day, and he would end up in the top ten with the rest. That’s when he thought of an idea. To protect Armin. “What about the MP? You’d live a safe life, reading and writing books for the rest of your life. The pay is good as well.” It might have been an idea he heard from someone else, in the beginning of training. Why someone would go through all this hard training to defend themselves, just to go sit on their ass, slacking off and drinking themselves to a shorter life?

To Reiner this made no sense. He was trained to be a warrior, and the SC was the only way he could continue to fight. His, as well as Bertholdt and Annie’s future were already made out for them.

Reiner did do his to keep Armin safe. They ended up yelling, and Reiner had to push Armin down into his chair again, before the little boy would jump attack him. “I just want to make sure you are safe.” Reiner’s words were almost sad. Like there was more behind them. Armin couldn’t handle it, and in all his confusion, he reached out to touch Reiner’s face to comfort him. “I can look out for myself.” Armin wasn’t yelling anymore, but his voice was quiet and gentle. “I’ll make you a deal, if you really want to join the SC, I’ll look after your back to make sure you’re alright. If it’s too much, you can quit. Join the MP. Deal?” Armin’s hand still on Reiner’s cheek didn’t make it less intense. Armin even had a slight blush over his cheeks.

Do I really mean that much to Reiner?

Reiner did seem to care for everyone, even Jean who always scoffed at everyone, and looked grumpy. Even Annie, who no one really knew, even though it seemed her, Bertholdt and Reiner came from the same area. Armin didn’t need more thinking time, before leaning in to kiss Reiner’s nose. Just like everything else on that guy, it felt strong under Armin’s lips, the few seconds they got to feel it. This took Reiner by surprise, as his eyes widened, looking straight back at him with his own golden to Armin’s sky blue.

~ That’s been a year since that first kiss. Not like there’s been many others, but… A lot of things happened. Annie turned out to be a titan, and Reiner almost died in front of Jean and Armin’s eyes. Armin never thought anything of them. Not even more kisses.

Armin sat up in his bed, and the blanket slid off his bare, pale upper body. The sun hit him right in his eyes, waking him up before Reiner who still was sleeping. Right next to him. How did it even happen? Armin tried to think back. Back to what happened. When The Female Titan grabbed Reiner. Armin thought he was done for it, even for his strong skills. Just for a few seconds it was quiet. Too quiet. Like the world stood still. Like Armin lost something to the sound he could have sworn he heard, when the titan clenched her fist. But he made it. Somehow. Armin’s small and delicate hand traveled over Reiner’s short hair. It felt funny to him, being used to having long hair for as long as he could remember. Eren and Mikasa’s too. Not much, but longer than Reiner’s. But not for long, because Armin would get pulled out of his memories as soon as Reiner’s eyes opened and his voiced could be heard.

“How long have you been awake?” Armin almost jumped at his voice, being surprised, thinking he was fast asleep. “Sorry! I didn’t want to wake you up!” Armin was ready to jump out of bed, as if he made some mistake like spilling hot coffee all over the floor, but Reiner pulled him back. “It’s okay. I don’t need more sleep.” Doctor’s order, for Reiner to get lots of sleep to get better and heal his injuries. They looked really bad when Armin could get a chance to look them over, out there, but it might have been from the rush, thinking he would lose his friend. But when they got back, they didn’t seem nearly as bloody then, and rest could heal him fine. “I feel much better. Might have been the company.” Had it been anyone else but Armin sitting there, Reiner would probably have gotten slapped, due to the stupid smirk spreading over his lips, only making Armin blush. “I don’t think my company have done anything. Anyone else would have done as good. Why didn’t Bertholdt…” Reiner’s hand on Armin’s wrist stopped him talking, and made him sure, Armin would look at him. “Bertholdt is like a brother to me. We’ve never shared a bed.” Rumors have told for them to have slept next to each other, but there’s never been any proof, and no one dared to ask. A pause landed between them, only for Reiner to break. “You fought well. Looks like I won’t need to look after you anymore.” Armin wanted to tell him wrong. Tell him he did need him. But where would he go? “You make it sound like you’re dying.” Armin pulled his hand to himself, moving to the edge of the bed and letting his feet touch the floor. That made Reiner move too, to the edge, just behind Armin, still laying down. “I might. Not now, but I might. I was close back there. Next time, I might not be as lucky.” “Don’t say that!” Armin’s voice was back at yelling, and looking furiously at Reiner who just laid there like everything was fine. Like they had all the time in world just to stay in bed like some happy couple in the inner walls. But they were not. Not even a couple. They’ve only kissed, last night, when Reiner begged Armin to stay with him for the night. He was too convincing for Armin to reject. Eren wouldn’t mind taking their evening walk on his own, was Armin’s thought.

“I won’t let you die.” Armin’s voice was in a whisper. It was like their roles had switched. Armin had to protect Reiner now, since he would go so much out of his own ways, even risking his own life, in order to save someone else’s.

Reiner knew, Armin had made the right choice choosing the SC at that moment. They may not have any chance to figure out their feelings, but at least they could make sure they both would fight, and stay alive. Just enough to see the ocean one day.

- The second time Reiner were to almost lose his life, Armin wasn’t even near to do anything. Annie had been taken over by the MP, and almost everyone had been moved. Armin stayed close to Eren, making sure he would do well. Armin even helped around higher-ups like Moblit and Hanji. He had a clue, but was too afraid to even bring it up. What if Annie, the female titan, would have others? Inside the walls, working for her. Or with her. Armin knew, where she came from, because Reiner told him so, one night when they didn’t play chess, nor plan anything. They just talked. That’s why Armin was able to remember it that clearly.

What if Reiner, of all, was one of them?

He had the papers, right in front of him to prove it right. They came from the same small village, only under 100 citizens. A few registered family names.

Leonheart

Hoover

…

Braun

Armin didn’t want it to be true. It couldn’t. Reiner had been there. For everyone. Like a big brother. Taking care of the smallest, taking the burden, making sure everyone got food, even during expeditions. Anyone could come to Reiner, at any time. Even in the middle of the night, and he would find a way to solve their problem. Everyone trusted him.

Armin’s hand flew to cover his mouth. I’ve kissed him.

He didn’t want this latest information to be true. It just… it just couldn’t!

“Armin! Did you find anything?” Armin dropped the papers in his shaky hands, making them fall to the floor. Hanji was yelling, to make sure he wouldn’t slack off. No cadet was really allowed into the records, because they would often mess things up. Armin could see why, now being one of them.

“N-no, section commander! I have to keep looking.” He tried. What should he do?! He sat down to pick up the papers. He could hide them. Yes. Make sure it wouldn’t ever be true. No matter the cost. Keep Reiner… safe.

“Hurry up! We must leave. We’ll come back tomorrow.” Just as she turned the corner, Armin had folded the pieces of paper and pushed it under a table with a lot of messy boxes. Hanji gave him a weird look, tilting her head.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” “Yeah, yeah. I’m just… I just need sleep. It’s getting late anyway, right?” Armin let his hand to his head, before walking out. He should have hidden the papers. Better, at least.

He didn’t get much sleep that night. He knew Reiner was out there, as well as Bertholdt with the rest of the 104th squad. He could only hope, they would come close soon.

The next day went too fast and it was time. The others had been spotted, and they had to go help them out. None of them would have any gear, except a few of the veterans, and only God know how long they would be able to fight, and keep everyone alive.

Just as they were about to leave, Sasha came running. A chill went through Armin as the papers got unfolded, and Hanji’s look revealed almost the same as his, the night before.

She read it out loud, telling what Armin had just read. Confirming everyone in it. Even Armin. Reiner is one of them, just like Annie. He is the enemy. A knot started to tie in his stomach. A lump gathered in his throat. His palms started to sweat and hands shaking. Pull yourself together! This isn’t even new information, you’ve known this! You already knew it was true! Get in in your head!

Everything went too fast, and before he could take a note of it, he was right there, on the wall with his arm tied up.

Why?

He wouldn’t need that. No matter how long it’s been, it’s probably already healed. Armin couldn’t bring himself to speak, nor say anything. That’s not the plan either. But he could look.

How could he hide it for so long? Bertholdt too. It only hurts him more, when Reiner gives him that smile. The same smile he gave when he helped him in the rain and was falling behind. That smile he wore when they looked through Armin’s book, and looked at the faded picture. That smile. The smile he wore after they first kissed. He has to walk away. And hope… Just hope it ever could be like before. He stops, to see he’s not following. Neither is Bertholdt nor Eren. No. This can’t be happening.

“Mikasa, don’t…” But it was too late. Her blade already made contact to Reiner’s arm and neck, just before she jumps towards Bertholdt. It’s like Armin’s heart just dropped to his stomach, trying to break through. They’re after Eren.

He can’t do anything. The lightning hits, creating a blast of air, no… steam, hot steam, before their bodies start to appear. The Colossal and The Armored Titan.

It is true.

______________________ Welcome aboard on my ship! I hope you enjoy your stay! If you liked this, please let me know, because I’m still kinda new into writing fabrications and would like some response ^^

And if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading it!!!

#reiner braun #armin arlert #attack on titan #fanfic #Reimin #Armin #reiner #will they just kiss already #Warrior's Broken Heart

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lelou-quotes · 4 years

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If You Hate Going To Work, Read This

https://medium.com/@bykateward/if-you-hate-going-to-work-read-this-c34c7f91dbb1

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. I’m a Millennial. At the core, I buy into Sigmund Freud’s belief that:

“Love and work are the cornerstones of humanness.”

That these are the only things that matter. Call it entitled. Call it narcissistic. Call it whatever you please. If you don’t at least partially buy into this view of the world, I urge you to stop reading now. The thesis of this entire post stems from this belief.

It’s an ode to any 20-something in the midst of an existential crisis that believes this, too, but can’t seem to put it into practice.

This is for my countless friends that hate what they’re doing. Hate their jobs. Hate the people. Hate the company politics.

That have been experiencing anxiety. Panic attacks. Existential crises. Depression.

It’s for those stuck in the loop of the Sunday Scarries, Mad Mondays, Terrible Tuesdays, WTF Wednesdays, Thoughtless Thursdays, Finally Fridays, and Super Saturdays.

For those feeling lost, unfulfilled, unmotivated, and exhausted. Daydreaming about starting their “own thing.” Wondering why they haven’t dropped out yet. Going through the motions. Sitting on the sidelines of life.

Whoever you are, in whatever version of this predicament, this is for you.

Step #1: Recognize And Combat The Forces At Play.

There is something that’s made you believe you shouldn’t try to change. That you shouldn’t do something new. That’s kept you from switching paths already. What is it?

Inertia.

Being who you are, doing what you’re doing already, is easy. Very easy. You have learned habits and ingrained patterns of thinking and behaving that drive almost everything you do. Whether you like your job or not, it’s easy to wake up and keep going.

And while it’s easy to imagine what it would be like once you’ve changed, it’s cognitively exhausting to think about putting in the work to change. Pushing yourself to new limits. Applying to new jobs. Sidelining your ego. Breaking habits. Building a new network. Choosing a non-traditional path. Doing the inner work. Jumping in.

Henry Cloud wrote,

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.”

We stay in jobs when they’re comfortable. But just because something’s comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s serving you.

A good test for deciding whether to change is to ask yourself the following:

Is this engagement something I enjoy and/or am proud to be a part of?

Is this engagement getting me closer to doing something I’m proud of or will enjoy? (i.e. helping you build up the you the money, skills, and relationships you’ll need.)

If the answer to both questions is “no,” then you should seriously consider quitting, turning in a new direction, or coming up with a new plan.

Inertia is a life killer. It is the result of prioritizing comfort over growth. And to stop growing is to die.

Justification.

I genuinely convinced myself on multiple occasions at my last engagement:

“The long-term payout could be huge.”

“If I can’t commit myself to this, I won’t be able to commit myself to anything.”

“Everyone thinks I’m good at this.”

“My resume can’t have a gap on it.”

All partially true thoughts. All ego-centric. All hard to let go of.

Author, Tim Ferriss, in his bestselling book, The Four Hour Work Week, calls this out for what it is: “fear disguised as optimism.” He goes on to write:

“Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization.”

The mind is a tricky machine. There are thousands of potential rationalizations and justifications for why you should stay — in the unfulfilling job or unhealthy relationship — and the mind is prepared to use them all against you.

Because the mind favors inertia. It doesn’t want to change. And therefore, you can convince yourself of absolutely anything.

And when you listen, you become confined to this state of non-commitment disguised as poise, dedication, and honorable sacrifice.

Pay attention to what you are justifying — to yourself and others — about your current situation. If you feel compelled to justify anything, it means you don’t believe it. It means you’re afraid of the alternative or the truth. Work through that and you will find what you truly believe.

Push vs. Pull.

There is a lot of talk lately about “hustle” and “hard work” thanks be to Gary Vaynerchuk and the rest of the “thought leader” crew. Working hard is a key element in success, certainly. As the saying goes:

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

But it’s not the only element.

In fact, it’s preceded by something much more important.

What’s made Gary Vaynerchuk successful is that he’s doing what he loves. He’s aligned. He’s operating within his natural set of talents and abilities. He’s the adult-version of his baseball card-selling self. He loves the game.

He’s working hard, but he isn’t forcing it. He isn’t pushing himself to work hard so much as he’s being pulled to.

If you have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, complain all the way to the office, and spend 18 hours feeling exhausted, miserable, and uninspired, then you are doing it wrong.

That’s slaving for a paycheck. It’s honorable and obligatory to some extent, sure. But if you want complete fulfillment and massive success, you need to switch strategies. Stop pushing, and search for what pulls you.

The hard work, the ethic, and the drive will come naturally when you stop resisting what’s pulling you.

Step #2: Pay Attention — Get To Know Yourself Better.

No one else can tell when you’re actually “all in.” No one else can tell you what you should be, do, or have. No one else can tell you when it’s the right time to start, stop, or change. That’s your job.

Only you can know when you’re putting in 80% effort.

When you’re in something — a job, a game, relationship, or conversation — you are either fully present and committed or you aren’t. This is binary.

You are the only one who knows what lingering doubts, regrets, and suspicions you have. You are the only one who knows what you’re holding back or what you’re reserving for a better opportunity.

This has nothing to do with the results you’re seeing or how people perceive you. You can kill yourself for something and still blow it. You can half-ass something and stroll right through.

You might be really good at conversational masturbation. You may have a really good performance on the field after a night of partying. You might be really good at crunching numbers. You might be really good at making your partner believe you love them.

But only you know the truth. Did you put every ounce of effort and energy into that presentation? Did you bring your A game? Did you leave it all on the field? Do you have wandering eyes? Do you have doubts?

Are you really in this or are you out?

It feels crappy to be less than who you are capable of being and to do less than what you are capable of doing.

Life is too short to only go in 80%.

Aren’t you the least bit curious what would happen if you put 100% of yourself into something?

It’s up to you to find what’s worth the extra 20%.

You have a unique purpose.

I have a lot of qualms with the education system, but perhaps the greatest is that we push students to choose majors and career paths based on expected future value calculations.

Business is more valuable than psychology. Engineering is more valuable than business. Medicine is more valuable than engineering.

Pick something that will “set you up.” Blah. Blah. Blah.

There are lucrative opportunities down any path. If you can fill a big need, you can make big money. Simple as that.

You’ve probably seen this diagram before. Purpose is found at the intersection of what you love doing, what the world needs, what you are good at, and what pays.

I believe when you are not obligated to a marital partner or a child, you are obligated to this Venn Diagram.

The world is better off when you are self-aware and deploying against that self-awareness. When you are doing what makes you feel alive. When you are feeling fulfilled. And you are better off when you’re getting paid for it.

The highest service you can do for humanity is to find and do what makes you feel alive. You will work harder, and therefore add more value that way. You will be happier, and therefore raise others up.

Be patient. Try as many things as possible. Travel. Take cheap internships. Figure out what you must do, not what your mentors, parents, teachers, and peers have told you you should do.

Don’t go into insurance sales for the money and misery. Don’t walk the path of the starving artist.

Find the intersection. Be a thriving artist.

You have natural talents, inclinations, and filters. Find them.

Meg Jay, Ph.D, calls these our:

“UNTHOUGHT KNOWNS.”

The things that are already inside of you that you once actively understood but forgot about yourself. The things that the world stripped from you. The things you enjoy doing. That you are good at. That add value to the world. That others praise you for.

The spark to initiate the commitment. Something worth building upon. A runner’s high or a young lover’s buzz. The catalyst.

It’s like what Steve Jobs said in his famous Stanford Commencement speech:

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

To find your “unthought knowns,” you have to create a clear channel. Your heart and intuition cannot “speak up” if you don’t create a space for them to.

You have to provide a blank canvas.

The problem is, by this point in our lives, most of us are working with a canvas that’s already full. It has all of our preconceived notions of what we should be. All the years of people telling you what’s practical and profitable.

Scrape it down and you will discover your essence.

Start by asking:

What do I do that no one pays me for?

What did I like to do as a child?

What do I do just for the sake of enjoyment?

How do I process the world around me?

When I asked those questions, my thing, for example, became abundantly clear. It had been staring me in the face since I was probably a freshman in high school, maybe even before that.

I have memories from middle school in being applauded for it.

I even received honors in college for doing it well.

I even created a daily habit of doing it in 2016.

I was paid for it a few times in (and right after) college.

I’ve had people over the years tell me — you should do that thing as a job.

It’s the thing I do when I have a little extra time on my hands.

And it wasn’t until the beginning of 2018, at the age of 25, that I even realized I could monetize in a massive way. That I could really make an impact with it. That it was my gift. It just hit me. And just like that, everything shifted.

You have something in you like that, too.

Step #3: Take Some Action.

What’s often missed with “The Law of Attraction” is that you have to line your thoughts, words, and actions. I don’t deny that thought is a powerful tool, but it is the weakest tool between the triad. It is only the start; it is not the end.

Action, on the other hand, is the most powerful.

Sometimes you have to “drop out” to drop in.

There is all of this talk about starting a “side hustle” before leaving your corporate job. Getting your toes wet. Identifying the next platform to jump to. Testing the efficacy of your business plan.

I like it. I think it’s practical, smart, and effective. I wish I could have done that.

But I couldn't.

If you have the type of personality or identity structure that requires you go “all in” on every venture, you will likely find yourself at a crossroads eventually. “The crossroads of should and must,” as author Elle Luna calls it.

A place where you have to make a decision because the two paths you’re headed down are mutually exclusive. You are trying to find time for long-term creative thinking, but you’re on the high-powered executive track. You are trying to pursue screenwriting, but you’re acting in commercials full time.

If you have the energy and the ability to force separation between your paying gig and your purpose, power to you. If you are highly risk-averse or financially conservative, own that. Start a side hustle.

But don’t wait on attacking your dreams just because you believe it has to start as a side hustle. Sometimes in life, we have to burn the bridges backwards to secure any chance of moving forwards.

To go against all of the advice you’ve heard from career counselors and mentors. To intentionally create space. To do what you should have done at 18. To hope that you aren’t delusional. To soul search and figure out what may be worthy of commitment. A craft. A mission. A business.

And in that space you carve out, you may just find it. The thing that you are meant to commit yourself to. That you are willing to assume risk for. That you are meant to do with your days, weeks, months, and years. That makes you want to publicly fail, so you can get better.

Find something to go a mile deep in.

As Matthew McConaughey’s character in True Detective said,

“Life’s barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.”

You’re becoming what you’re spending your time on and who you’re spending it with. The podcasts you listen to. The books you read. The TV shows you watch. What’s on your Instagram feed. Your friends. Your coworkers. How you spend your evenings.

Seeing results and experiencing fulfillment are a matter of making a deep commitment to something bigger than the minutia.

You could become a fundamental Christian. You could become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. An engineer. A Buddhist. A daycare worker. An entrepreneur. A monk. A public defender. A law enforcement officer. An archaeologist. An activist. A multi-planetary human being. A tattoo artist.

But you can’t be all of those things.

If you go an inch deep in ten areas, you are likely to be pretty mediocre in all ten. If you go a foot deep in one area, you will not only have built a valuable skill and knowledge base, you will be a magnet for those other nine things anyways.

Becoming a world-class anything will attract teaching, speaking, and writing opportunities. It will open doors for collaborations you can’t even dream of.

The key is this: start with one thing. Wake up each day and be the best you can be. Stay committed no matter how many escape routes you see.

The dividends paid on that kind of commitment are huge.

Take action on the grand strategy.

Grand strategy, according to military strategist, Liddell Hart, is the way in which resources should be banded together to reach some political objective in war.

Often we are hyper-focused on winning this battle, forgetting about why we are fighting this war in the first place.

You have to keep the overarching objective in mind. A goal. An endgame. An ideal day in mind. Something to work for. Something you want. Someone you want to be.

When you have a clear vision of what you want to become, what you want to do, and what you want to have, you can take steps towards that goal without worrying too much about the small losses. The additional anxieties and pressures fall off. The macro becomes more important than the micro.

You are less invested and more detached from the short-term outcomes. You can put up with a little grunt work. Long hours. Crappy shifts. And the work no one else wants to do.

And that’s how you win. That’s how you acquire success and become fulfilled.

Take action. Be persistent. Play the long game.

Now… the end is not yet written.

I could be wrong. I could be just another Millennial preaching about finding purpose in the world. About doing good. About making stuff that matters.

I could experience financial destruction in a recession. I could fail to become as great as I want to at this craft. I could suffer many failures on the path.

But the science is unequivocal. Economists and philosophers agree. There is no better time to act than right now. No better time to quit. No better time to start. No better time to take the first step on the path to becoming who you want to become.

As Meg Jay, Ph.D, writes:

“The post-twenty something brain is still plastic, of course, but the opportunity is that never again in our lifetime will the brain offer up countless new connections and see what we make of them. Never again will we be so quick to learn new things. Never again will it be so easy to become the people we hope to be. The risk is that we may not act now.”

#millenial #purpose #mission #ikigai #life

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