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punksocks · 4 months

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Lilith & His Femme Fatale (18+ Only)

**I tried to make this general but it’s about seduction, I couldn’t pull it lol (fr minors dni!)

*Just based on my observations, only take what resonates

Often Lilith in a man’s birth chart gives less information on him and more information on the type of woman that’s his femme fatale. The type of femme that gives this complex dynamic to the relationship. I would say, similarly to Plutonian influences, this sort of connection charged with such intensity tends to elicit the extreme reaction of either repelling him or making him at least a bit obsessed with finding a way to “obtain” the Lilith person in the relationship.

I think this is always related to Lilith’s folklore of being the untamable wife. He loves her because he can’t control her. But he still wants to try (not always but often imo). Not being able to control her and her seeming so wild and free is one of the many reasons the Lilith person usually brings out the shadow side of the masc person in their connection.

(I think everyone, men/women/enbys/etc, all tend to act out of feminine and masculine energies. The energies of giving and receiving. Action and reaction. Lilith usually throws some upheaval into this because as an untraditional feminine she embodies it all. She dominates whilst not taking any action. Lilith’s sort of chaotic energy throws a wrench in the binary imo. She’s feminine but the effect she has on and within others often puts her outside of the spectrum. I’m speaking about the effect on masculine folks because I believe Lilith pushes them into a power struggle mindset due to her effects and due to our society -and Lilith’s origins- being very patriarchal. With traditional feminine energies there is also a power struggle effect but it’s more like rooted in the feminine power. Like women usually have a default role of using subservience to their advantage- as much as they can- under patriarchy. So the tension with people embodying Lilith manifests in this tension of trying to make the Lilith people conform or outcasting them. There can be underlying s*xual dynamics to this but it usually works out differently/less directly than it does with masc folks.)

Anyway that’s why I believe men/masc people react in such a charged/obsessed way to Lilith energy and why I think it tends to result in this sort of femme fatale dynamic. Now let’s get into it !

-Lilith in Aries: For Lilith in Aries, he’d love an unstoppable woman. Like I noted before (in credit to @zeldasnotes ) this is a strong indicator of a man being a feminist (we love to see it). So this could also indicate a strong attraction to someone that’s in their power, that holds their own, and that is very independent and strong in their own right. He may find himself pushing back on this type of femme, but being impressed and compelled by her when she does take the lead (his mars could show how this dynamic would play out). (You may find yourselves vying for dominance in the connection)

-Lilith in Taurus: A hyperfeminine woman. Obviously, femininity looks different across cultures, but some traits that could show up here would be: a woman with curves, a killer hourglass figure that turns heads; a woman that seems luxurious and well dressed; a woman that feels soft and smells great. Essentially being a Venusian sign, Taurus in Lilith would be absolutely smitten by a beautiful woman that embodied all that soft feminine energy (and took his money lol) (speaking of which, could be a s*x worker or trophy wife type- someone that needs a lot of money/luxury to keep around)

-Lilith in Gemini: A thinker, a woman that outwits you. Someone that keeps you mentally stimulated by challenged your knowledge. Someone that will always make you guess. Very book smart, may be curious about the taboo. Someone that gets their kicks from debating you and testing your textbook knowledge. May also be smitten by dirty talk, talking about the taboo in their intimate time together.

-Lilith in Cancer: A nostalgic nurturer that makes you feel at ease. May embody the bad traits that make you feel especially vulnerable (like familiar toxic behavior). Lilith’ archetype is often an antithesis of cancer’s traditional influence of being the emotional nurturer, so we’d have to assume a bit of corruption here. Just as easily as you could be fueling toxic behavior I’d assume you’d just as easily receive it. So mascs can project onto you and desire to leech off of your nurturing energy.

-Lilith in Leo: A diva. The one that’s in the spotlight without trying at all. Like a burlesque dancer, beautiful and radiant and practically untouchable. Speaking of which they may be smitten with a femme known for her s*x appeal. Whether that’s from having a lot of past partners or being a model or being in s*x work depends on the situation. The Leo person would likely want exclusive access to you after they get their hands on you though (fixed placements can be very possessive, it’s a whole thing)

-Lilith in Virgo: someone with their life together. (I said what I said 👀). A sort of that girl as the kids say :0. She has a meal plan and a routine and a 5 year plan. I’d also wager that this placement is the most likely to have a thing for someone that has their shit so together that it makes the native feel less than. Someone that could shame them and make them feel flawed and insignificant at the drop of a hat (a hat? The hat? Ok). Also likely to be someone that is really subtle but quietly freaky. A good candidate for workplace affairs 🤷🏾‍♀️

-Lilith in Libra: a bombshell babe, a true beauty. Someone who embodies very classy energy. A popular girl, one that you sort of have to work to get the attention of. (A gorgeous femme that distracts others with how beautiful and effortless she is. Pinup material and just as untouchable. Trophy wife vibes but not as intense as Lilith in Taurus (unless this is a 2nd house placement 👀). Also someone that brings a lot of balance and beauty to their surroundings. (She may attract envy due to her looks as well)

-Lilith in Scorpio: S*x personified. Someone with that intense vibe (one of the most likely placements to attract Lilith heavy femmes). Someone that has a presence that holds a lot of power. And a lot of intimate experience or at least a fearless attitude about those taboos. Someone that makes him want to explore those fantasies as a knee jerk reaction (within reason ofc). Someone that can see right through him. Someone that they struggle to gain power over. (Also pretty likely to have a power imbalance or some sort of taboo attached to the dynamic)

-Lilith in Sagittarius: A traveler, a girl struck with wanderlust. Someone you get attached to even though she’s always out of reach. Someone who loves debating and adventure. A philosopher that never stops learning and daring you to broaden your horizons. May be someone from outside of your culture as well. Or someone with a religious background you find socially taboo.

-Lilith in Capricorn: Boss babe all the way. Someone that intimidates others easily and that works very hard. A social climber. A person that knows exactly what they’re after, in that go getter sort of way. Someone mature. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. Another possibly of meeting at work, or at least after some sort of public interaction. Another connection where both people are likely vying for dominance. Likely to have themes of restriction show up as well.

-Lilith in Aquarius: manic👏🏾 pixie 👏🏾dream👏🏾 girl👏🏾 (I’m dead*ss). The quirky girl that stands out from the crowd. One of kind in a rebellious way. The other side of fae energy, which is to say that she would be a detached trickster of sorts. Hard to predict, philosophically outside of your comfort zone, impossible to pin down, etc. Someone that forces you to think outside of the box- whether you like it or not. Could bring out the k*nkier side of you. Also pretty likely to bring out the nerdier side of you, for some reason. (Aquarius intelligence ??)

-Lilith in Pisces: fae bae, full stop. A girl like a daydream. Esoteric and ethereal. A person that may be a bit spacey but they’re off floating in space somewhere. Someone creative and subconsciously addictive. Someone that tends to appear in their dreams and tends to be on their minds a lot.

Further Notes:

-Air is most impressed upon by intelligence and uniqueness; water by an emotionally immersive and passionate connection; fire by passion and being dazzled by the person; earth by their material luxury, ambition, and physicality

-water and fire tend to become obsessive over s*xual connections the fastest imo, but it can really mentally affect air and earth placements (it’s that I’m not obsessed but they’re thinking about them all the time and doing god knows what about that 👀)

-fixed Lilith placements can make a masc person a bit more obsessive and possessive over the Lilith energy (especially if they have a fixed Venus/mars)

-Cardinal Lilith placements tend to like to be challenged over taking the lead/dominance in the connection, if underdeveloped they can be rather controlling to their partners as well

-When Lilith is close to a masc’s personal planets I’d say that he may have some sort of archetype/karmic lesson around Lilith heavy femmes (just a significant impact on his life and attitude)

-Houses can show how these energies connect (I wrote this up but the draft deleted itself and I just couldn’t lol 🙃)

#astro notes #spicy astrology #love astrology #lilith culture #lilith aspects #Lilith #lilith astrology #astroblr #astro blog #astrology #astroloji #astro observations #astro community

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lavishlyleo · 1 year

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Astrology Observations 3

The power pisces placements hold is actually insane, like everyone talks about how intuitive Scorpios are, but have you seen what a Pisces can do when they set their minds to something? Especially a Sun / Mercury Combination in this sign. Like these people can not only predict many things and easily read foretold messages, getting insight on something before it happens, but they also have heavy manifesting powers when they have a lot of faith in something that they think will happen. It's like they speak it into existence. These people have a sixth sense I swear.

Like everything people think Scorpios are Pisces IS.

Having a Libra or Gemini Moon in your Solar return chart could indicate you being put in a situation where you appear fake and/or two faced. ( NOT Natal chart, Solar Return Chart ) I remember during 2020 I had this, and I used to always wanna keep the peace and harmony in my friend group, but when certain people left that I didn't like, I used to talk SO MUCH SHIT. It's a thing of not being liked by certain people or not liking certain people and them making you irritated and angry, but not wanting to cause more problems that would make the situation worse. So you just leave it be but as soon as you get the chance to vent about it, it's like a flood gate opening.

Moon in 11th house people CANNOT live without their group. I know someone with this placement and he always has a group to tag along with and he has so many connections to people. He's the poster child of social butterfly.

Being around someone with a Debilitated or Fall Moon ( Capricorn and Scorpio ) when they're irritated or angry is so draining. Like they WILL suck the energy out of the room when they're mad. Like you're walking on eggshells with what you say to them. However usually when the native realizes that it's affecting everyone they will leave the scene until they cool down, or try to sit down and talk about their feelings. This is because they don't want to stew in their own anger because it's draining to them too, so most would rather solve the issue than keep being angry.

Pisces Mars is another powerful placement to have for intuition and being able to dissect people's mind, intentions and feelings. Mars is the energy we put out into the world, but Pisces Mars uses their energy to absorb other peoples' energies to get the feel about somebody. This can also indicate someone who is very sleepy all the time, espeically around emotionally and spiritually draining people because they have to use more energy on these people.

In synastry, we all know to check Venus, Mars, Moon, ect. HOWEVER! I feel like another huge determining factor in synastry is ruler planet chemistry. For example. If person A has Gemini Rising, and person B has Capricorn Rising, You would check how person A's Mercury aspects person B's Saturn. If A's Mercury trines B's Saturn then they could have a relationship based off similar experiences and having similar ways of thinking, despite their Rising signs being in quincunx. Also take into account where the chart ruler falls in each others charts. Another example is if Person A's Mercury could be in B's 6th house, making their relationship more work related and, and they sharing everyday little details to eachother.

Having a lot of strong and prominent aspects to one planet can make it a key focal point in your life, even if it's not the chart ruler, dominant planet, ect. This also means that planet has a more far reaching and influential power over the many planets it's aspecting. Think of dividing and conquering in a sense. And the planets being aspected by this one planet can even take on the qualities of the planets sign(s).

For example, someone can have many planets in fire or air, initially giving them those fire/air qualities. However, if their Saturn aspects alot of their planets (especially personal planets), then they may take on a more serious and calculated demeanor. Similar to that or a Capricorn or Aquarius.

What is it with fixed Mars signs and BEING SO FUCKING STUBBORN!? Especially Scorpio or Taurus Martians. I mean I know I can be stubborn sometimes but this is insane. In some instances, they KNOW they're in the wrong but will still defend their side of the argument until they day they DIE!! Obviously this is not everyone with this placement, at all times, but I've seen a couple people with this placement do this in when debating or arguing and it's like talking to a brick wall.

Having a lot of planets in the 10th house, or having personal planets in the 10th house in many of your Persona charts can indicate being very conscious of what you say to people, or to the public as to not have anything you say ruin your reputation. Any vile or ill feelings you have towards people are said in private to people you trust. These people are VERY conscious of their social and digital footprint.

Sagittarius Risings can have be very clever and calculating with their addictions. They're excellent at saving up money and rolling on a tight budget, thanks to their 2nd house being in Capricorn, however, with the full intentions of blowing all that money on something most people would find reckless or not essential. For example, saving up a months worth of rent to blow it all at the mall on anything they find and like when they get there. Calculating enough to know how much money they'll likely need for their adventure, but vague enough not to know exactly what they'll buy when they actually get there.

I think this kinda goes without saying but also look at the house your planets are in along with the sign! For example, Someone with Libra Mars may seem really chill and compromising but if they have it in the 1st house they can be way more agressive and bold than a normal Libra Mars, and take on many traits of an Aries Mars.

On the same note, look at which specific house the planets are in, I feel like planets can be effected by the whatever house they are exalt, domicile, detriment, or fall in. For example, Venus could be in it's home sign, Taurus, however if Venus is in the 6th house it would still be in a somewhat fall because Virgo rules the 6th house and is in fall in Venus.

ALONG THE SAME NOTE, I don't see people talk about this enough but signs in domicile can be just as malefic as signs in detriment!! While a Capricorn Moon can have trouble showing their emotions and opening up to people, a Cancer Moon could be too emotional and always make the topic about how they feel and their emotions. Or while a Pisces Mercury could be avoidant and emotionally persuasive with their words, a Virgo Mercury could be overly analytical and constantly nitpick.

If you don't relate to a house placement, check your chart in whole houses.

With most of us alive today having Neptune sextile Pluto, this means we tend give a LOT of power to people we heavily idolize or are obsessed with greatly, for good or for worse.

I feel like the people who get stereotyped the most and/or have a warped stereotype applied to them that isn't consistant with the signs original stereotype usually have Pluto, Neptune or sometimes Uranus in their first house because those planets stay in a sign for years and can affect that generation of people. For example, Sagittarius Risings are stereotypically optimistic, easy going, adventureous and free spirited. However with most of Gen Z having Pluto in Sagittarius, this gives our generation of Sagittarius Ascendant natives a more serious, intense and secretive qualities.

A conjunction between two planets that are in different signs can weaken the conjunction. This is because while the planets energies are still combining, the planets have different ways of outputting that energy, which can sometimes disrupt the synchronization of the two planets.

This goes for opposition too, and I think it makes it worse because usually when two planets are in opposition, they are in sister signs, which gives them similar qualities and a basic understanding for each others energies. However if two planets in opposition aren't in sister signs, then this can make the placement feel more like a Square/Quincunx combination because there won't be that initial understanding or similar qualities, And the signs won't share the same modality or element.

I feel like Lilith aspecting the Moon can be more detrimental and powerful than the Moon being in Scorpio or Capricorn. This is because Lilith in astrology, like the moon is related to feminine energy (After all it's black MOON Lilith). But because of this very powerful and similar influence to the Moon, this can warp the effects and qualities the Moon has on the native, and the line where Lilith and the Moon's influence seperate can blur for the native. Personally me, I think this placement is the most powerful Lilith placement/aspect to have, even more powerful than aspects to the Ascendant or Sun, and is what typically makes someone a Lilith dominant.

Placements that indicate having strong manifestation powers -

Jupiter or Venus in the 12th house.

Neptune in the 1st, 3rd or 8th

Having Pisces in a fire house (1st, 5th, 9th)

Sagittarius in Neptune and/or 12th house

Having planetary conjunctions where the planets in conjunction are in Pisces/Aries (One planet is pisces and the other is Aries)

Saturn in the water houses

Stelliums that include saturn or Neptune

Stelliums in the 8th house

Ruler of the 12th house in the fire houses (Co rulers count too)

having many planets in the 10th or 11th house (because they are Saturn ruled houses and manifestation here is a result of good karma and time).

On that note, not every planet in the 12th house is good for manifestation. Brash and scattered planets like Mars, Mercury, Moon, ect can be too chaotic and scattered for accurate and great manifesting.

While Venus Persona Chart can show what kind of lover you are, Juno persona chart can show what your lover's chart may look like.

Look at where the Ascendant of the Ascendant Persona Chart Ruler is in your natal chart for more insight about your identity and what your core themes are. For example if your Acsendant PC Rising is in Aquarius, check where Uranus and Saturn lies in your natal chart.

Personally, I think Venus should be exalted in Cancer and Jupiter should be exalted Pisces, they need to swap because it would make so many things line up with the placements exalts and domiciles for Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury, ect. For a more in depth analysis check out my post here

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whitewitchqueen · 2 months

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Yandere Elden Ring x Dream Reader Concept

This is different from my original concept here. This is more of an Isekai concept, please tell me what you think about this and feel free to request stuff based on this concept.

This is subject to change as I understand more about the timeline, so just keep that in mind.

Ever since you were young, you've always had trouble sleeping. Dreams were too common for you, too confusing for your young mind. Your parents always tried to help, going to sleep doctors and analysts, getting medication prescribed, even waiting with you by your bed until you finally fall asleep. It was all quick solutions to a deeper problem and as you grew, you started to think there was no solution at all. But eventually you had to sleep. Your body would become exhausted, and one way or another you'd find yourself drifting off.

Waking up was also a struggle. It always felt like you were fighting against something whenever you awoke. Usually, it was your body straining for more sleep. But this time, you could tell it was different. You were floaty and unaware of your surroundings, but in the distance was a figure, soft and far away, but clearly there. You tried your hardest to move, your body straining as you got up. Eventually, you reach an impasse, like an invisible wall preventing you from moving further, but luckily the figure seems to notice you.

The figure, who you recognize as a boy, moves towards you, but reaches the same impasse as you. It was strange, his presence was overwhelming, but he seemed more calm than you. "Who are you?" He asked, but you couldn't respond, you weren't able to. But somehow he understood your plight. "Come with me, dear dreamer" and in a second, everything became heavy and quiet, and you were falling back asleep.

When you awoke for the second time, you were not in your bed, but someplace unfamiliar entirely. The bed you were in was soft, and much, much larger than the one in your own bedroom. It was cold, but the blankets helped keep you warm. "You're finally awake." It was that voice again, calm and delicate. He, and a strange looking woman were standing in the room watching as you fumble.

"Am I dreaming?" You ask, and the boy smiles.

"No, dear dreamer, you are awake." He replied, and for some reason that made you more nervous. It meant you were somewhere else, with people you don't know, they must've been wrong. This was just your mind playing tricks on you like always. But regardless, you had no other choice but to go along with them.

Miquella, as you came to know him, was gracious enough to let you stay with him and his sister Malenia in his home which he called his Haligtree. It was a harsh adjustment, but one you understood as a necessity since this world seemed much more primeval than yours. But Miquella, ever patient, was there to teach you everything, especially about your status as a "dreamer." He said you were connected in a way, being able to travel into each other's dreams and invade their realms. That's how you ended up here, in what Miquella called the Land's Between.

It was confusing, and to be honest you didn't understand most of it, but a part of you believed that Miquella just wanted someone to relate to, he was probably lonely, even though he had his sister. Speaking of which, was a very nice, albeit somewhat awkward person. She was short spoken, and curt towards most who weren't her brother, but she was kind to you. She usually was very distant, being born with an illness called Rot that ate away at her. When she wasn't keeping her distance from you, she was telling you stories of her battles with a small smile on her face. You could tell the siblings like having someone else around.

Miquella, in contrast to his twin, was very curious, about you, about your world, about your powers, simply about you in general. It was strange having attention on you, especially when it was someone like Miquella focusing on you. He was kind, but there was a mystery to him that made it even more interesting. He didn't tend to talk about himself often though, so there was not much you could draw from him. You knew he cared for his sister, and that he was working tirelessly to cure their curses, his of which he only explained a few times in passing. Other than that, Miquella was a mystery to you, and for what reasons you'd never know.

For a while, everything was great with the twins. Until after what felt like a week, when Miquella said that you and his sister would be traveling to go see his mother and father. You didn't realize how much you didn't want to leave until you were forced to do so. Miquella wanted to keep the location of his Haligtree a secret, so much of your traveling was done covertly. When finally reaching the destination, you were shocked to see such a large city. Miquella seemed overall amused by your reaction to everything, but his demeanor changed when reaching the main castle.

You've never met someone as intimidating as Marika and Radagon. They both had this extreme force to them that made it impossible to look them in the eyes. However, they were strangely cordial to you and explained to you, alone might I add, that they knew you weren't of this realm, and that from now on you'd be staying with them. You didn't know how to react, but you knew you had no choice, no amount of arguing from Miquella or Malenia would change their mind.

Eventually, the siblings had to leave, as Malenia's sickness was getting worse. You were struck with terrible sadness, but you couldn't focus on it for long, as you were stuck by either Marika's or Radagon's side at all times. Learning about them and their status in the world, and learning that they and their children, including the two who you spend weeks with, were gods was shocking to say the least. It definitely changed your perception on the two,

Marika and Radagon, while overwhelming, were nice enough. You stayed in a beautiful room in their castle, were gifted clothing and jewelry to match the setting, you truly felt a part of this world, almost like you were losing yourself. Marika specifically spent most of her time teaching you histories of her and her children, of the greater will and its strength. She took no interest in your world or its customs, unlike Radagon, who seemed interested enough, though that might be a facade to keep you from losing interest in him, at least that's what you assumed.

Their other children, more correctly Radagon's children from his first marriage, were definitely characters. They were all pretty quiet, and kept to themselves for the most part. Ranni, his daughter, gave you a weird feeling, something you couldn't describe but keep to yourself either way. Radahn was quiet, but driven like his father, in whom he idolized. Contrary to his brutish behavior, he was smart, and when he did speak to you he spoke of the gravity magic he took an interest in. You tried your best to stay away from Rykard, who was mean and ruthless, often berating you for invading their family. Luckily, he wasn't in Leyndell often, so you were able to avoid him most of the time.

Your time in Leyndell was making you homesick, and tired. It got to the point where you couldn't get out of bed. It worried Marika and Radagon to an extent, but you were usually left up to your own devices. It was getting harder by the day to stay awake and moving and so eventually, you stopped. You closed your eyes and slept, and when you awoke, you were back in your room.

It must've been a dream.

---

A/n: hope you enjoy, please request anything for this concept.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #elden ring #elden ring x reader #yandere elden ring #elden ring godwyn #elden ring radagon #platonic yandere elden ring #godfrey the first elden lord

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nayatarot777 · 4 months

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Lilith in Gemini/3rd House

this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤

Astrology Masterlist

gemini/3rd house is related to communication (writing and speaking), mental processing of information (learning new things), thought processes, adaptability, anything digital too - such as social media, teaching, public speaking, your local neighbourhood + short distant travels + transportation, and also the way that you build connections with your peers - like siblings, classmates, coworkers, etc. it can also represent close relatives (usually makes me think of aunts and uncles).

lilith being in this position can give you a curiosity that you were shamed out of having. you’ve been shamed for the questions that you asked your parents, your teachers, your peers, simply because these questions were perceived to be as taboo or inappropriate to ask. especially when you were a child.

the way that you speak and word your sentences can also be perceived as being quite rude. especially if you have lilith in aries in the 3rd house, or if your mars is conjunct your lilith or just in the 3rd house with your lilith. the things that you say to people can provoke a darkness out of them because you trigger a dark part of their mind with the things that you say or the things that you ask - even without meaning to.

an undeveloped and non-integrated lilith in this sign/house will result in someone who’s very manipulative through gossip and communication. the type of person who will spread lies about other people. the type of person who may even be a pathological liar, just for the sake of toying with information as a way of feeling like they have the upper hand in a conversation. someone who can turn people against each other with the gossip/lies that they spread - ESPECIALLY if lilith in gemini is in the 7th house or the 11th house. people with this placement could also lie for the sake of gaining information for themselves too. which leads me to my next point:

information is power here. and lilith here usually gives an obsession towards thinking and learning. she has an insatiable hunger for knowing information about things and people. and even for understanding her own mind when she finally dives deep into her own thought process.

your mind can be a very dark place. you could constantly think about the themes of rejection, shame, abuse, and are constantly aware of those themes in conversations between your peers. whether it’s directed towards you or it’s happening between other people.

since gemini/3rd house is also related to intelligence, you could’ve had an inferiority complex with your own intelligence in school. like you weren’t smart enough or you weren’t good at learning new things. the kids who struggled with writing essays and paying attention in class. the real issue was that you just had an unconventional and uncommon way of processing and expressing information. meaning that the way in which teachers expected you to learn was not compatible with what you needed to be able to learn. but you internalised this at some point and felt like you were just “dumb” in a way.

this could’ve definitely manifested in the opposite way and resulted in you feeling like you were one of the most intelligent people in the class. and you could’ve faced rejection from your peers and classmates due to them recognising the power that you held in your academic success - which made them feel inferior to you. but not quietly. this was probably the reason why you were picked on and even bullied, and this could’ve lead to you being less of a participant in class. suppressing your own expression of what you know and suppressing your own curiosity because how other children dealt with their inferiority complexes brought you pain and shame.

for people with a developed lilith here, this placement also makes me think of people who can read between the lines with the things that people say - very easily. it’s almost like you can see into the thought process that would cause someone to say something in the way that they did.

an underdeveloped lilith placement will be extremely susceptible to not just possibly being a gossiper/liar, but also being someone who’s very easily manipulated and gullible. someone who believes everything that people (especially their friends/peers) tell them. they can’t see through people’s lies and manipulations - and other people can see this clearly. this could be due to them suppressing their curiosity that would’ve made them question what they were told if they were to embrace being curious.

you could’ve also been cyber bullied too - or you were the one to cyber bully and troll online.

you may have siblings who are the embodiments of lilith energy - especially younger ones (unless your lilith is in sagittarius or capricorn, which would indicate that this applies to your older siblings too). meaning that they’re extremely rebellious, outcasted, possibly full of rage too. or for a select few, you could have siblings that are into the occult, witchcraft, or something like that - and if so, with a good relationship with this sibling, you would’ve learned a lot from them.

you might also feel ostracised from your siblings too. having a lot of conflicts with them - especially verbally. unless aries/mars is an influence to your third house. then verbal conflicts could easily turn into physical fights.

you may also have issues with your uncles and aunts. this placement makes me think of people with verbally mean aunts and uncles who always have some fucked up shit to say to them. could also indicate issues with your cousins too.

there’s also oppression or trauma related to your local neighbourhood here. or just constantly having issues with your neighbours - mainly for lilith in the 3rd house. you could feel like the black sheep in your local area for some reason. this could be due to being a different race, culture, ethnicity, sexuality, etc compared to everyone else.

#lilith #3rd house #gemini #lilith in the 3rd house #astro placements #astrology placements #astro posts #astro tumblr #astro community #astro observations #astro notes

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nicromancytarot · 3 months

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WILL YOU BE FAMOUS?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides if you would ever get the chance of being famous, pick a picture to find out.

DISCLAIMER: when doing this reading I did not quite realise the relevance of famous can range from having a viral video on TikTok to actual worldwide fame, so I will redo this with social media to worldwide sometime soon!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6

PILE 1

YES! Once again I received a pile based on helping others lmao, I see you guys receiving extreme wealth from speaking and acting on humanitarian causes. Heavy protesting energy. You will however receive some hate for this so be careful! You may stick to only social media but will become very abundant nonetheless.

PILE 2 (18+ themes)

YES! I see this being something you never imagined being able to do, I notice a lot of wands in this spread so you could lowkey become famous for doing porn, or other sex related work.

However, for those of you who don’t resonate with that, you may be doing something to do with the public in a way of singing or speaking. (The wands remind me of microphones.)

There is a sense of secrecy which was why I was getting sex work lol, but if not, I can see you may have some fans who will attempt to gatekeeper you as you grow.

PILE 3

YES! This pile was very hard to decipher because there’s so many ways this could go, first being that you gain social media fame from getting into a physical fight with someone (this is so weird but i saw someone sat doing a get ready with me while covering up bruises and trying to explain how they got there while assuring everyone that they won lmaoo.) Or you may be exposing a past relationship for being toxic (I feel like this would be a partner in the industry.)

I see you have an opportunity to keep this fame from dying out which can lead you to a new lover if you’re interested in that, you guys may even get married sometime in the future. If not then I definitely see business opportunities coming your way.

PILE 4

YES! This will only resonate with some of you that’s for sure, but I see that you may have a situation where a lover cheats on you (sorry) and you may record either an argument, the breakup or some big tantrum that they throw and post it to social media to humiliate them #slay. The video will certainly go viral but you will receive a lot of mixed reactions so beware. You may also have the potential or growing this fame if you stay consistent and keep it exciting.

PILE 5

Unfortunately I don’t see this in the cards for you. I see that you have a large amount of worry for hatred and criticism and you may just want to live a peaceful, quiet life. I see that you certainly value your peace and would run from the hatred if you got it. I also notice that you may already, or will have a leadership job or opportunity that you won’t want to pass up on. So don’t dwell, you have freewill so if you really desire fame, go for it.

PILE 6

I unfortunately don’t see this in the cards for you. I notice that you totally have the potential (and freewill!) to make ir happen if you really wanted. But I also see that you are never really happy or fulfilled. I think someone told you that you can’t make it happen and I feel that’s why you stopped trying. Do not give up, you never know the difference you could make.

#pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #tarot #tarot reading #tarot witch #free tarot #daily tarot #pick a pile

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nattikay · 8 months

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"Neytiri is such a hypocrite! She hates Spider for being human but Jake is a human too!!!" except that Jake's and Spider's situations and how they relate to Neytiri's are completely different though

Neytiri taught Na'vi culture to Jake personally and was there to watch first-hand as his perspective changed and he gradually fell in love with Pandora and the Omatikaya people. And being able to watch that process, having a level of personal investment in it as his teacher, was a major factor in her falling in love with him in the first place.

Neytiri didn't simply "fall in love with a human", not really. She fell in love with a human who in her eyes became Na'vi, and that part is significant.

I don't think Neytiri really views Jake as a human, not anymore. Though she knew it existed, she never actually saw Jake's human body until the final battle in A1--well after she'd already fully established her relationship with him in his avatar body--and even after that she probably didn't spend much time with him in human form because he permanently transferred to his avatar body shortly thereafter. She's still aware that he was born human of course, but as of the end of A1, despite the eyebrows and extra fingers, Jake is throughly Na'vi as far as Neytiri is concerned, and she watched him get there every step of the way.

She just doesn't have that experience with Spider (at least, not yet--we'll come back to that).

"Well, she SHOULD'VE taught Spider like she taught Jake!! Why didn't she??!"

Why should she?

Remember that she wasn't particularly jazzed about teaching Jake at first either. She didn't volunteer for the position, she only did it because Mo'at explicitly ordered her to. No one's assigned her to teach Spider like that. She's got enough to do during the day with her regular clan duties and raising her own four children; why, exactly, should we expect her to go way out of her way to take enough special interest in Spider, someone whose presence she's kinda iffy about to begin with, to teach him the ins and outs of Na'vi culture like she did for Jake?

"Well, she shouldn't have been iffy with his presence at all!! That's not fair!"

Ok, let's back up a bit. Hear me out before you start yelling.

Neytiri has been through a ridiculous amount of serious traumas in her life, most if not all of which have come at the hands of humans. She witnessed/experienced firsthand:

her sister getting shot and killed.

the Tree of Voices getting bulldozed, an incredible sacred location to her culture where she and other clan members could come to commune with their ancestors, including her now-dead sister.

her ancestral home being brutally destroyed, killing many more of her clanmates in the process.

her father dying in the aftermath of the destruction.

Seze, meant to be a lifelong partnership, getting shot and killed while Neytiri was connected through tsaheylu, meaning she probably experienced not only the heartache of loosing her ikran companion but also the physical pain of the bullet

...yeah, is it really any wonder she feels kinda iffy about humans? And Spider specifically has the added factor of being the son of not just any random human solider but of Quaritch, whom Neytiri had personal beef with.

Now, is it fair to Spider to be judged for the sins of his father and/or species? Of course not. Spider is an innocent party, and has done nothing wrong.

But is it unreasonable, based on everything she's been through, for Neytiri to look at Spider and be reminded of Quaritch etc., and to be uncomfortable with that? Not really, I don't think, and if we could stop demonizing her for it that'd be great.

No, Spider does not "deserve" Neytiri disliking him. But expecting Neytiri to quickly, nigh-magically just get over all of her human-inflicted trauma in order to love or even like Spider right away is a lot.

Key words: right away. Because guys, I think we're forgetting here that these character's stories are not over yet. We're on movie 2 out of 5. That's not even HALFWAY through the story!!

Yes, Neytiri still has issues she needs to work through, areas where she still needs to grow--of COURSE she does, because her story is not over. If she, or the other characters, were already perfect, there would be no story left to tell--or at least, not a very interesting one. Characters need room to grow, otherwise they become boring (isn't that the whole problem with the dreaded "Mary Sue"?)

Same with Spider, his story is not over yet. He and Neytiri still have PLENTY of time to work things out and develop their relationship, among other things, however they need to.

And I do think that their relationship is something that will be explored and resolved by the end. Said resolution might not come until A5, but I think it will come.

Overall I just don't really think it's fair to vilify Neytiri simply because that resolution didn't happen in Spider's childhood--y'know, before the real meat of the story even got started. Have some patience, friends.

tl;dr in a vacuum is Neytiri "in the right" for disliking Spider based on his ancestry? No, of course not. But is she a bad person for struggling to like/trust humans in general after all the very real and very serious traumas she's experienced? Also no. Is it something she needs to work on, sure--but give it time, and let's see how the story develops.

#avatar #avatar 2 #neytiri #spider socorro

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madschiavelique · 9 months

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Hello can you make a headcanon what type of woman/partner miguel would be his type ? Tysm

okayy so i will mostly be speaking here mentality/personality wise and not physically wise (i think miguel would probably focus more on the way his partner thinks than their appearance)

little note : i based some of my thinking and reasoning on the fact that miguel's mbti is ISTJ and thought about how he would get along with other mbti types

headcanon : miguel's type content warnings : none word count : 485 tag list : @fandom-ash

he is probably a man who likes a match that can connect with their values, work styles and schedules. which doesn’t mean that he is completely immune to the possibility of being adventurous

i’d say he is a traditional man, so he’ll probably search for someone like that too, but he’ll still seek for someone that can get him out of his comfort zone, such as fun and loving individuals who live in the moment – who are still able to respect tradition, of course, and that can decrease his overall stress simply by their presence

he’d also need an intelligent partner, or at least someone with whom he can have deep discussions

he wants someone who is independent – he spends enough time already baby sitting an entire society, and dealing with a childish partner isn’t really what he’s searching for in a relationship

since he is a man who, when making decisions, places rationality ahead of emotions, he’d really have to take time to methodically evaluate his partner

which brings me to an important point : he needs someone who is patient. he doesn’t fall in love easily, he’s actually the exact opposite of a quick lover. it takes time to know him, he likes to take time to know his partner, and likes to take it even more for him to truly commit to a relationship

he’s not the kind to enjoy risk-taking, especially when the subject is love. he takes his time to date to properly evaluate his partner before making any moves

he can find it difficult to express his feelings directly through words. during debates, he can struggle to find the proper word to express his expression and thoughts, which emphasizes the need for someone be patient and that will not judge him to hastily

I think we can say that on some globality with miguel, what you see is what you get, honesty and straightforwardness is a pillar in his relations, so his partner has to be honest as well.

he might sound too cold from time to time in his words, which can sometime be involuntary, so his partner should preferably be able to see through the tone of his words and focus mostly on what message he’s trying to express

he has a strong sense of duty and responsibility so he will work hard at fulfilling his promises – sometimes sacrificing himself in the process because he always put others first, which is why he needs someone responsible that can bring him back on firm ground in reality and can properly take care of him by showing him how to put himself first sometimes

he wants someone that is dependable and reliable, someone confident and self-assured, that will keep their objectivity in any situation

since he is practical, logical and very grounded, I can imagine him searching the same qualities in his partner

honestly, I think what miguel is searching for is someone that has a similar way of thinking to him, but that is less afraid of taking risks and ready to work for their relationship

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drbased · 20 days

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i am highly spiritual, and yet we have almost identical beliefs about humanity, religion and its organization, etc. save for the conclusions it brings us to. just found this really interesting, honeslty.

In the nicest possible way: no, I don't think we have almost identical beliefs. Or rather, I think we have one primary difference in perception that changes the entire nature of our beliefs.

One of the accidental problems with language is that it can make connections and associations between concepts that aren't really real. For example, we have tras claiming that aspects of your personality, mannerisms, hairstyle etc. are all an expression of an internal sense of gender, which is retroactively justified as real through the existence of those characteristics. It's a tautology, but it's a potent one, because those characteristics can add up to something deeply personal and individual, which isn't communicated easily. One person's 'qu**r identity' can be entirely different from another person's 'qu**r identity', but due to the simple existence of the term they can find a percieved similarity of experience that wouldn't exist without it.

This relates to spirituality because I think what's happening here is that the word 'spiritual' is being used like the word 'gender'; that is, an extra layer of meaning is added to the human experience that is retroactively justified by the existence of those human experiences. In this case, the nature of spirituality seemingly being discussed is a sense of profundity and awe.

The primary dispute is one of perspective: as an atheist, I say that actually, the concept of 'profound' is an entirely human construction. Things aren't built with a natural sense of 'awe-inspiringness' that we as humans simply tap into - but rather, the emotion is generated inside us in response to the neutral things that are already there. It's a seemingly minor shift in approach, and many would feel is a nitpick, but I think it's accidentally become the crux of this whole argument.

This is why many spiritual people think that atheists 'hate humanity' and 'are cold and unfeeling' - they percieve the world to be inherently spiritual; that is, consisting of an inexorable quality that humans should be able to experience, so anyone not claiming to recognise this quality is simply denying their own humanity, their own senses, as well as denying the profundity of being: the two are inexorably interlinked. I can see where this argument comes from - we, as humans, tend to naturally feel 'cleaner' after a wash, we tend to fell happier after having laughed etc. etc. and if we don't feel these things, either there's something supposedly 'wrong' with us, or we're denying those feelings so we get to feel superior in some way. And don't get me wrong, the classic 'reddit atheist' is like this - the kind of guy who says that your pet cat don't feel love when they nuzzle you in the morning. There are definitely people (men especially) who want to feel above any and all sensory-based human emotional response.

But.

My primary argument is that things external to us (and some internal) do not have any inherent emotional quality; any emotions I generate in response to them are my own personal, fallible and fragile appreciation for them, generated within my brain in response to stimuli. This may sound less magical, and that's the point: laughter generates happiness because it's an evolutionarily important pro-social tool. Washing makes you feel 'cleaner' because it's evolutionarily important to avoid disease. There's no intrinsic nature to these things that we tap into; the emotions and subsequent meaning are generated by us. If someone managed to figure out what 'love' is in humans and found out that animals don't show 'love' as we know it - well, regardless of how much of an asshole he is, that atheist above would be right. But it shouldn't be earth-shattering because 'love' does not need to be some quality inherent to nature to have meaning and value - our version of 'love' is purely human, and whatever our pets do may not be 'love' by our standards, but something speciifc to them.

This argument is ultimately immaterial unless we can demonstrate for faith-based thinking can result in harm. And unfortunately, this is how people end up getting manipulated by churches and cults. The sense of awe you feel in a crowd of thousands of people listening to music and services doesn't exist in the ether - it's deliberately manufactured explicitly to generate that feeling inside you. So this isn't just an argument about correctness; this is an argument about harm.

Why do you think churches are built that way; it's easy to think of them as just inherently magnificent, but that is just the limitation of the way our language constructs adjectives - 'magnificent' is given the same linguistic weight as, say, 'squishy' or 'spiky'. But 'magnificent' is a value qualifier, not a neutral adjective; it's something that requires an internal sense of judgement - but due to the power of emotions it can feel real, perhaps more real than pricking your finger on a spiky thing. Religion has a tendency to place reality into a secondary level of importance; god/the universe is what's more 'real' than us. This is a hierachy; it places our subjective experiences and values as merely a conduit for something more real and meaningful than we could ever be, than we could ever imagine (and, if you think my argument is cold and male and misogynistic, then I like to remind you which of the sexes loves hierarchy). And this is hierarchy that is absolutely ripe for exploitation.

No, I do not think that spiritual/religious belief is a guarantee of exploitation, nor is it the only source of exploitation - but a tendency to see your emotions as merely a conduit for some universal truth means you will be much more easily persuaded to into believing things based on your emotional perception, and the kinds of people who want to persuade you are typical doing so to gain something; not always something sinister, but it certainly can be.

Too many spiritual people want to have their cake and eat it too: they want to skirt over arguments of correctness and harm and jump straight to accusing us of denying our senses - when what they actually mean is that by denying our senses we're denying reality. But when we claim that actually we're perfectly capable of listening to our senses, we just call these things 'awe' and 'profundity', they turn around and say 'that's just what spirituality is! you're just like us, just in denial!' When we say that our emotional experiences are not spiritual we mean it; this isn't 'agreeing on most things' - this is an entire shift in perception. My senses are mine, and the meaning I generate from them is mine. Those sense are a fallible product of evolution, and the meaning I generate from them is also a fallible product of evolution. But that also means that the profundity has a new origin, and this is ultimately less safe and comfortable than from some external source I can rely on; the profundity comes from the terrifying realisation that these things just are, with no invisible connective tissue outside the bare reality of cause-and-effect. That isn't inherently profound, but I make it so through my own human ability to generate meaning. And as that meaning is mine, therefore the responsibility for it is mine.

#my writing #atheist posting #anon

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melatonin-melanin · 5 months

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menhera as a movement and how it can connect to race

most members of the menhera subculture tend to have one goal in mind, and it's to be able to improve their mental health one way or another. for those unaware, menhera is a mental health movement originating in japan, where the term was originally defined as "someone who seeks mental well being." you can learn more about it here.

a large aspect of the menhera subculture is creating art in order to vent your struggles. this art is expressed most commonly through mediums such as fashion, painting, and music. any topics are acceptable to create vent art from, and often there will be motifs related to the author's trauma. however, over time, menhera has been watered down to containing mainly medical motifs in creations, as opposed to the original intention of being an outlet for a vast majority of issues that people may struggle with. of course, this doesn't mean that people no longer use it to vent; there are still many active members of the community, at least overseas.

you might be thinking, "that's nice to learn about, but what does this have to do with race? isn't this about mental health?"

well, your race can directly impact your mental health in multiple ways. when it comes to race, it's important to keep in mind that it's not just the color of your skin. race, as it is defined in society, is also your hair texture, facial structure, culture, and traditions. race is ultimately a social category, as it is fluctuating throughout history and is solely determined by people in power. think about it: for those growing up in the U.S., did you ever have to fill out forms for mandated tests? do you recall that, as time went on, more and more racial categories were added as options to check off when asked for your race?

with all of these factors taken into account, it's no wonder that race can affect mental health. whether it's from racial discrimination in multiple communities and institutions, cultural-specific struggles, or trying to find one's own place inside and outside of race-based communities, any and all of these issues can be mentally draining and have someone questioning their self-worth. added to all of this, it can be more difficult for someone to receive help for these troubles when they're not surrounded with people who understand. not every person of color is going to understand what a person with a mental illness goes through, and not every person with a mental illness is going to understand what a person of color goes through, either. depending on the people around them, a person of color struggling with mental illness may feel much more hesitant about reaching out to others because of this.

menhera as a movement was created in order for people to express all kinds of feelings without needing any particular label for what they're struggling with. it lets you wear your heart on your sleeve, and embrace aspects of yourself that you have trouble accepting. you can be beautiful, despite everything. you can be beautiful despite having traits that you've felt so insecure about for the longest time, whether it be skin color, hair type, face shape, cultural significances; none of that makes you any lesser, regardless of what you may feel or what others may have told you. my own race has tied into many of my experiences with my self-image, and my struggle with that view is part of why i identify with the menhera subculture. for anyone reading this who feels similarly, this is sort of my way of saying that you aren't alone!

i feel that, although the medical association is most likely here to stay, the majority of the menhera community can also work beyond only acknowledging certain facets of mental illness. this isn't only referring to the acknowledgment of racial issues, but other intersecting traits that affect people's experiences with mental illness. gender, class, physical disability, orientation; all of these undoubtedly influence each individual's views on mental health, and the community should strive to be more open towards all of these different experiences no matter how messy or uncomfortable they get. after all, the purpose of menhera is to tell ourselves that we're pretty, cute, handsome, gorgeous, and all of those kinds of adjectives despite how our troubles make us feel!

#rise and shine #menhera #yamikawaii #yumekawaii #メンヘラ #mental health

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mariaelenaariente · 1 year

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Astro Observations - all sign placements

coming from an esoteric and evolutionary astrologer

The pictures used are not mine

In-depth Natal Chart Analysis - reconnect with your Soul and uncover the Divine within you

Learn natal astrology

(These are not in any particular order)

Pisces placements often refuse their own spiritual abilities unless they're really in tune with their chart and Soul purpose. I've noticed this so many times - these natives have the most potential for a natural connection to the divine, yet they so often dismiss it. This can be related to a variety of things, but I believe it mostly comes down to them being subconsciously scared to detach from the material plane and trust their innate wisdom (which often goes against what society has taught us). However when a native with strong Piscean energy does connect to the divine, they're unstoppable and enlightening.

Leo placements (yes I'm a big fan of these) have so much light in them. I can't stand all the "they're so egoistical" bullsht. Of course some will be, especially the unevolved ones, but let's be honest: most are scared of healed strong Leo energy because they don't get them (and our society really isn't built for someone like them living according to their highest vibrations). Leos are strong, brave, loving, joyous, and have enormous hearts. They're simply made out of pure love and I will not be arguing about this.

Natives with an abundance of Taurus placement will not ever forget how you did them wrong. It's a matter of time before their disappointment exceeds their feelings for you and they snap (and when they do it's truly awful). I know that we like to think Cancers are the most likely to hold grudges (and to an extent they are, but in a much more different way) but a fixed sign will really think about that for the rest of their lives. If they do happen to also have Cancer placements, forget ever being really forgiven (unless they're particularly conscious).

Scorpio placements are really not as vengeful as people believe them to be. They are ruled by Pluto - what they do is transform and outgrow their pain. Yes their anger is strong and all-consuming, but ultimately they're meant to let it go to be able to better themselves. And let's be honest, Scorpio placements have to go through so much. They're asked to face pain and discomfort throughout most of their lives. A conscious native will transform this into their greatest strength, they won't plan their revenge for years. They know something greater's coming.

Gemini placements are the true intellectuals of the zodiac. Wait, before you come for me (lately it seems that most only call them chatty and annoying), hear me out. I'm not saying they're smarter than anyone, but they are the most invested in learning about the world. This can take many different forms based on their unique chart, and most of the time the form it takes is chaotic. They may not follow the traditional educational path. Where Aquarius placements are invested in learning, yes, Gemini placements are also invested in applying what they've learned. They're unlikely to really dedicate their lives to one subject - but they will dedicate their life to continuously grow and stimulate their intellect. There's so much more to be said here.

Aries placements generally have a hard time accepting themselves. They carry so much enthusiasm and energy with them, more often than not they'll be deemed "too much". This can really hinder their spirit - these natives need a lot of freedom and acceptance from their early childhood to grow into their confidence and powerful drive. If they don't get it, they often tend to retreat within themselves and hold back their energy. This is the root of the stereotypical Aries anger - they've often been suppressing themselves for years.

Aquarius placements often need to give others better credit for the lessons they teach them. Giving gratitude is an important lesson they need to learn in this lifetime. Yes, gratitude. Even for their hurts. Possibly especially for their hurts. They have the ability to easily recognize patterns in human behavior, and they wouldn't be able to exercise this if they isolate. If an Aquarian numbs their emotions and doesn't realize the great (soon to be positive) impact a bad experience had for them they'll be unable to learn from it.

Virgo placements can be just as loving as the stereotypical maternally affectionate Cancerian. Their typical pickiness when it comes to choosing whether to let someone into their life or not is their way of evaluating possible hurts and protecting themselves from it. A healed Virgo native however will not be running away from someone based on the rationalization they made of the situation - a healed Virgo will have a highly developed intuition and be a channel for divine messages - they'll just know what is right for them without the need to judge the situation. And if the situation is indeed right, they'll be some of the most loving and dedicated people in your life.

Libra, Capricorn, Cancer, and Sagittarius placements coming soon.

In-depth Natal Chart Analysis - reconnect with your Soul and uncover the Divine within you

Learn natal astrology

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guardian5tiger3 · 11 months

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Tarot Reading - Pick a Picture .

General/whatever comes out.

1 2

3 4

Pile 1 .

You might be feeling a little sad lately ,possibly influences by other persons in your energy. You may be looking for guidance and spirit is wanting you to work towards building yourself up more financially and possibly becoming more stable. Being able to fully rely on yourself is the best way to avoid conflict with others surrounding you. You may have someone close to you, possibly a sister for some specific few people, who is looking at something and seemingly away from you. Sometimes you have to accept things for what they are and build yourself up and form a better connection with yourself . Deep down this person loves you no matter what. This can also be a part of yourself.

You're definitely learning in some way or another how to be there for yourself and be content with yourself. Don't let anyone be deceitful towards you at this time and try your best to trust yourself . Follow your heart, how you feel, and listen to what you naturally already know is right. You already have all the answers within.

Side note, some of you, it is also possible this person close to you or whoever they may be relating to you, is actually confused and in a way only doing or saying whatever it is as a reaction to something else. They may just need you to say something and stop being stubborn and something if you possibly have been or they might just be fishing for you to say something .

Peace and love.

Pile 2 .

You may be being confronted with a choice on how to respond information.

You might feel compelled or know you should focus elsewhere and," turn the other cheek."

Running away from things is not always the best solution to problems.

Think like a gambler, is it worth losing whatever or whoever you are looking away from?

Think rationally and try not to be too impulsive at this time.

Make sure if you care about someone to consider their emotions but do always put yourself first. Try not to get too caught up in your imagination and ground yourself.

You may be healing family wounds at this time.

I keep getting something about a pet fish.

If you have any pet even past on ,they might be trying to convey to you to be in a more Buddha like mental state if that makes sense.

Don't be naive or ignore problems, though. Healing is very important and you never fail to feel better in general in life after you accomplish a phase of healing.

Make sure you're giving to the right persons.

If you're confused, slow down and chill for a while.

Let yourself feel emotions, especially if there is some heartbreak you're trying to keep down.

Thank you. Peace and love.

Pile 3.

You might be ignoring advice or guidance from some people for the sake of individuality and or it simply just doesn't suit you.

I'm very proud of you if that's the case.

Water like in your picture is significant somehow.

At the end of the day, you have a certain destiny and even though some people may care about you and love you it doesn't mean you have to live your life according to what will make them happy or proud.

This could , for some of you, also just be accepting that you aren't the type to make money in a way that's considered as "normal."

But, if someone loves you, they'll love you regardless of what you choose to do with your life.

And final message for you-

Be happy . :) 🌈

Thank you. Peace and love.

Pile 4

Someone might have told you something upsetting in some way, perhaps it has caused some type of disturbance in your life.

Somebody might need to move out and are having trouble figuring it out or accepting what you feel like you're losing.

There is you showing up as coming out better on the other side of whatever this situation is.

Try to hold onto your faiths at this time and let your intuition guide you.

I most definitely see a rainbow at the end of the storm whether the storm is a few raindrops or a full blizzard..

Based on the energy I got from whoever gave you some type of information, it is about time you experience a fresh new start. You might meet new people soon.

I see you walking into a phase of self discovery in this next part of your life, probably the next few months. Always remember, for every situation that has cons there's bound to be pros.

However defensive you've been about yourself, keep it up. I see things about to be resolved or you're going to be in a calmer state soon.

Peace and love people.

Thank you.

🎈

-tiger girl

#pick a card reading #pac reading #tarot reading #free tarot readings #pick a deck #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot free reading

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misscammiedawn · 1 month

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Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal Gear Solid 2

This post contains discussions and descriptions of severe dissociation that may be triggering to those who experience those symptoms and details themes of abuse, war and alcoholism please be kind to yourself when reading. Full game spoilers for NitW and MGS2.

In my Media, Myself and I series of posts I've been talking about depictions of Dissociative Identity Disorder in media. Highlighting good representation because I think it's easy to tear down what doesn't work, but showing what does is a very teachable moment. Best way to increase understanding and tear down stigma is to show understandable and relatable examples. Even if they're imperfect.

To that end, I wish to take a mild distraction from talking about identity focused symptoms of dissociative disorders and do some posts on elements of dissociation which aren't highlighted as often, particularly not well.

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder is on the dissociative spectrum and the symptoms are experienced within forms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Identity DIsorder.

To borrow an info-graphic I utilized in my Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders essay a while back

Source: Mayo Clinic

The brain processes the world and our association within that connects the concepts of "Me" and the concept of "Reality" and integrates them so we are able to process external reality and express our internal reality.

When we look at our hand we can look at it and understand "this is my hand", the shape of it, the sensation of proprioception, the knowledge that we are able to move it and it will move based on our innate intention. There is no process of "I want to move my hand, I am going to move my hand, my hand is moving" it all happens as part of one seamless process.

A practice within hypnosis for creating a sense of dissociation required for trance states is to have a person look at their hand and turn the phrasing from "my hand" to "that hand". Gradually having a person look at a thing until our brains stop processing it in relation to our surroundings until it "detaches" as a way of temporarily removing critical filters in an effort to lead a person to an altered and suggestible state.

A good example of this one can experience without assistance is to stare into a mirror for an elongated period of time. Our brains are always attempting to process a large amount of information and presents context to you that changes "those images on the mirror's surface" into "my reflection", it's why we are able to feel familiarity as a sense. When we perceive something that activates those associations the relevant information automatically filters in our mind and presents the concepts associated with the stimulus.

If we stare at the same reflection for too long those associations begin to disintegrate and we begin to view them divorced of the contexts we hold for them.

For those who suffer dissociative disorders, this is the root of why someone with DID will not "recognize" their reflection or why a person may not feel familiarity with something/someone they are aware of.

Dissociative amnesia is a topic I wish to cover in a future essay but it is also included in this process. Essentially when we dissociate our minds lose the ability to effectively filter what we are perceiving and relate it to our selves, our memories and our experiences.

Derealization is what happens when that critical filter between the external world and our internal perception breaks down. It's when we are not processing the world as being something we are engaging with. This may present as a disconnection between our perception and our understanding, for example "my hand feels like it's larger than it looks" or it can be a complete disconnect from what is happening in your present reality causing you to feel like you are in a dream. In extreme cases you lose your ability to relate your actions from consequences.

Let me tell you, having this happen while you're behind the wheel of a moving vehicle is terrifying and I hope no one reading this ever has to experience that.

I should also note that these symptoms tend to get dramatically worse the more you focus on them. In my own life, if I have a sensation that parts of my body feel incompatible with my inner perception of them then the vague dysphoria can blossom into full dissociation if I try to examine the feeling in any depth.

For an everyday version of it, think about the sensation of Deja Vu and how it feels like you have already experienced something which is happening in the present. During that state you are dissociated enough from processing your present reality that it "feels" like you've already experienced it, despite the knowledge that you are currently in the moment.

All of this is to give a vague view of what Derealization is and what it feels like.

Today I want to share two pieces of media that include a character overtly experiencing these symptoms and how the fiction displays the character experiencing this internal experience so that an external audience may understand.

Night in the Woods is a 2017 narrative driven adventure game by Infinite Fall. It follows two weeks in the life of Mae Borowski, a 20 year old cat suffering from severe anxiety who has dropped out of college and returned to her childhood home, an impoverished Western Pennsylvania mining town named Possum Springs.

There she moves back in with her parents and reintegrates with the rural community of Possum Springs. She spends time with her childhood friends, talks to the locals and tries to solve the mystery of a severed arm found in town. All while having vivid dreams on a nightly basis and dealing with the an ambient level of judgment from her parents, friends and community over her perceived irresponsibility.

Where Mae is trying to solve the mystery of the severed arm and the secret cult that hides within Possum Springs, the audience has some other mysteries to solve attached to the attitudes of some of the residents. Mae's parents and friends constantly pressure her to explain why she felt it necessary to drop out of college when so much was sacrificed to get her there. There is also "The Incident", a mysterious event in Mae's past, ominously hinted at when Mae's next door neighbor warns...

"No one's forgotten who you are and what you did, you know. Small town polite's all you got, kid."

The player is left in the dark as to the circumstances that paint Mae's reputation in town and throughout the course of the two weeks we begin understanding more about Mae's past, the circumstances behind her return to Possum Springs and the reasons those around her harbor a mild resentment towards her.

There are some potential supernatural elements relating to Mae's dreams and the nature of the cult but I feel it is best to stick to the grounded elements of the plot for the sake of this essay.

The Incident, it is revealed, is that 6 years before the game Mae beat another kid with a softball bat. Seemingly unprovoked. It earned her the nickname "Killer" and shaped much of the way people in the town, including Mae's own parents, view her.

"Why did you beat Andy Cullen?" and "Why did you drop out of school?" are questions people constantly demand of Mae and it forces her to become defensive and prickly to those around her. There's even a sequence involving a heated argument between Mae and her mother when the latter drops her kindness and patience over the matter and demands answers that Mae refuses to give.

To give the game away without fanfare, Mae suffers from extreme dissociation.

She's ashamed of it, afraid of it and the local town doctor, who I will discuss shortly, has no meaningful way of helping her deal with it. Mae is left to journal about her feelings with no meaningful way of understanding her symptoms or preventing them from crippling her. It is not even referred to as dissociation within the plot of the game, though those who are familiar with derealization will recognize it easily.

If you wish to see the conversation where Mae confesses her condition, it is about 4 minutes long and will provide some context, though I will brush over the description if you do not have time/ability to watch and listen.

youtube

Mae describes a time when she was playing videogames and felt an intense empathy towards the characters on screen. She felt like she knew them intimately and at a certain point something "broke", she came to understand that the characters she had been so connected with were not real. She was not actually connected with the events happening on screen, it was all a game.

And in understanding that she felt alone and abandoned on her side of the screen and the sensation spread out to the view outside of her window. The trees blowing by in the wind were as fake and distant as the characters in the video game. She had memories and attachments and associations with that tree, but looking at it from her window she could see that it was just a tree. Just an object.

"Just shapes"

This disconnect spread into every aspect of Mae's life and all of the associations she had built between herself and the world around her had vanished and she found herself in a world that she no longer felt attached to in any meaningful way.

"Just like this meaningless bulk of... stuff."

She felt alone. Abandoned. Overwhelmed by the simultaneous enormity and emptiness of everything.

The next day during the softball match she cannot even remember how it happened but she ended up ontop of the mass of shapes that was Andy Cullen and... that was The Incident.

Mae's family lost a lot of money paying off the medical debt for Cullen's family and everyone's attitudes towards her turned cold. She was sent to Dr. Hank for therapy... and this is where I take a break to discuss the causes of dissociative disorders and how badly Mae was let down.

The root causes of DPDR are the same as other dissociative disorders in that extreme abuse, neglect and continued stressful situations cause the mind to put up barriers and break associations to protect the self from harm. To boil a complex idea down to a few words consider the mind saying "This is not happening to me." as a way to prevent pain from an experience.

Where identity based dissociation focuses on the words "to me" and removes the self from the harmful events, derealization focuses on the words "this is not happening" and rejects the events outright, refusing to process the context behind what is happening.

Much of the game's story is told through implication and one must peel back layers in order to get a full story. At first glance Mae may seem like a normal young woman from a rural community in the rust-belt and question what could have been enough for her to develop a dissociative disorder.

First off, don't do that. No one owes anyone a justification for their condition and there is no such thing as "traumatic enough" to be valid for a diagnosis. What a person experiences is what they experience. But Mae is fictional and the core of her character is having an under-treated dissociative disorder. Half the reason I wanted to write this entry was because her depiction of it is deeply relatable and can be used well for teaching what goes into a person developing PTSD and dissociative disorders; most depictions seem content with sexual abuse or violent deaths.

For Mae, it's a lot more subtle and all too human. At least, for a cat in a world of anthropomorphic animals.

Mae's mother, Candy, never went to college and always regretted it. She feels like her life hit a dead end and she has remained in the mining town of Possum Springs decades after its mining industry faded out. She works as a receptionist at the local church, spends all day reading True Crime novels and had a number of miscarriages before finally giving birth to Mae, her "miracle baby".

Mae's father, Stan, was working with the mine when it closed down and has since been bouncing between job to job trying to keep his family afloat, especially after the medical expenses from The Incident, the subsequent remortgaging of the house and Candy's dreams of sending Mae to college. Stan tries to be a good father but hates his job, is always working and it is revealed he used to be an alcoholic.

Lastly you have Mae's Grandfather. He is dead before the game starts. Mae loved her granddad very much and his influence can be felt throughout the whole game. He would read to her, pay attention to her and teach her things. One of the game's DLC chapters even involves him reading Mae a bedtime story.

Also grandpa Borowski was a union man and collected the teeth of an employer who tried to abuse the workers. That doesn't really play in to my essay as Mae does not discover this fact until the events of the game but I am not going to go without hyping up a man for taking teeth.

Mae misses him so much that even 6 years after she was asked to keep a journal by Dr. Hank the first page reads "RIP Granddad" and as the game goes on the following can be found inside:

This information is drip fed to us through organic and relatable moments. For instance, Mae reveals her father's alcoholism while she is drinking too much (sidenote, she is underage for the location she lives) at a party.

The idea is to give a full and rich view of Mae's life and show that she may not even recognize the trauma for what it is and was.

For instance, we know from the start that Mae has crippling anxiety. This could easily be linked to the expectations of Candy putting her hopes and dreams of college on her "miracle baby". Before Mae was even born she had expectations placed upon her for being the long wanted child of a mother who wanted her baby to do all the things that she never could.

For neglect you have the fact that both parents are forced to work in abundance to maintain their lifestyle and pay for Mae's college in an economically depressed community. Mae spent a lot of her home life alone, feeling pressured by her mother and literally scared of her alcoholic father.

Both parents are good and loving and kind parents. But they failed in some regards. Sometimes you can want the best for someone you love and do everything you can to provide the best life and a failure to listen, adapt and accommodate can do more harm than anything.

Her grandfather eventually passed away, taking her positive links away in her home life and after The Incident she was ostracized from the community and forced into further isolation. Socially anxious, outcast and without her supportive grandfather, she eventually is given an opportunity to go to college. Something her childhood friend would have literally killed for an opportunity to do in her stead.

---and she drops out.

---and upon returning no one will get off of her case about it.

This damned statue did it.

A statue so loathesome to Mae that it appears in her nightmares and she relives the fantasy of smashing it to bits with a baseball bat.

If you watched the above video (or have played the game) you will know that the statue was made up of several shapes and was installed at Mae's college.

The sight of this statue terrified Mae to the point of which she would spend entire days holed up in her dorm room either not eating or gorging pizza and sleeping for days at a time.

Being away from the familiar sights and people of her home town made her dissociative symptoms go into overdrive. At home she knew that The Tree that had lost all meaning and association to her was still the tree that she played with when she was young. She knew that her parents are the people who raised her. Even when she saw them as "dead shapes" the memories persisted and she could endure.

At college it was nothing but strangers in a strange land and a statue comprised of shapes reminding her that everything was shapes.

But they sent her to therapy, did they not? Why wasn't she being treated?

Dr. Hank is a small-town doctor he is the physiologist, he is the dentist, he is the psychologist. He is the doctor. The only doctor and he has no idea how to treat someone with severe symptoms like Mae.

In town Mae can talk to a character named Selmers every day. Selmers is a self-styled poet with depression and also being seen by Dr. Hank. In discussing both mental healthcare treatment and depression with Selmers the player can learn that Dr. Hank treats all forms of mental illness the same. Essentially "journal until you feel better". The town lacks the structure and framework to provide help to someone like Mae.

In other words she has been untreated this entire time and removed from her support network and sent off to college, she could not handle things. Of course she was going to fail under those circumstances.

The game does a remarkably good job of displaying how DPDR can impact a person, especially as it is linked to anxiety and depression, and creates an empathetic narrative about what it must be like to live with that condition.

Sadly it offers little in the way of answers for treatment. In reality treatment involves psychotherapy and creating a structure of coping mechanisms for how to handle episodes and ground oneself. This can come in the shape of breathing exercises, kinesthetic sensation fixation, identification exercises ("name all of the blue items you can see" "name all of the items that begin in A") but above all else, getting a grip on what emotional triggers one has and learning to resolve them will help.

For Mae, being away from home is a trigger for her. Home isn't going to be the same place and people forever. She needs to be able to get on top of her symptoms in order to cope. Dr. Hank was not helping her with that.

The game ends on a bittersweet note that Mae may end up spending her whole life in Possum Springs purely from fear of leaving her zone of familiarity.

Unfortunately the narrative is about clinging to a dying town and how unsustainable it is.

We do not know what will happen next. The structure that failed Mae has only gotten worse in the 2 years since she left for college. Her parents may end up selling the house because they cannot keep up on the payments and on a long enough timeline Gregg and Angus will move away (should their relationship survive the effort to escape) leaving Bea and Mae to watch Possum Springs continue to decay.

Part of Mae's journey is accepting this inevitability and not fighting it, but choosing not to abandon the town regardless. After all, she can't stray from it without a risk to her mental health.

The game offers no answers. It simply shows a slice of hard reality for those who live caught in the trap of decaying towns, economic collapse and mental illness without support structures and treatment. but it does a very good job of providing an empathetic case that an audience can relate to and sympathize with the symptoms of.

But what about a game that tries to make the audience feel the same way that the character does...?

Metal Gear Solid 2 is a 2001 self-proclaimed tactical espionage action game developed by Konami.

It tells the story of a secret military operations agent code named Raiden who is attempting to save the US President from a terrorist group called Dead Cell. There is much more to it. But I am attempting to be brief.

Metal Gear is absolutely frustrating for me to write about in this essay series because their research tends to be fairly good but their sensitivity often comes off as actively malicious at best.

In terms of conditions, symptoms and sensitivity to emotional triggers, Raiden is on paper a fairly decent representation of dissociative disorders developing in those who grew up in war. In practice he has a murder alter named Jack The Ripper who breakdances with 3 katanas.

I promised I would stick to positive depictions only and so I will stick only to the final 2 hours of Raiden's first appearance.

At this point in the game the president is dead, we have learned that the terrorists were really after a giant battleship that houses a powerful AI which is going to be used to censor the internet to control the flow of information and control the populace. Raiden has met up with protagonist of the first Metal Gear games, Solid Snake, and has managed to install a virus into the AI system that will corrupt the data and prevent it from controlling the internet.

In order to get on the battleship, Snake betrays Raiden and hands him over to the terrorists.

Thus begins the final act of MGS2.

It is imperative to understand that these events happen in rapid succession right after the AI is infected with a virus.

Neither the audience nor Raiden are given an opportunity to truly process all of the rapid fire information that we are hit with.

MGS2 has a metatextual narrative about the nature of sequels and audience expectations. Many of the events happening within the story are intimately playing upon our familiarity with the series, recreating circumstances from both Metal Gear 2 and Metal Gear Solid. Part of the critique is that players are looking to simply recreate the experience of the first game and the narrative goes out of its way to punish Raiden (and thusly the player) for trying to "be" Solid Snake. Much of the game has been mired in failure and any wins we have received are either negated in a cutscene following our gameplay victory or are displayed as being ineffective next to Solid Snake who is forever being displayed as the better protagonist.

So when Raiden wakes up in a torture chamber directly designed to look just like the Shadow Moses Island torture chamber from Metal Gear Solid 1 (and both dialogue and graphics of that cutscene are displayed briefly) we, the player instantly assume familiarity with the concept. To drive that point home the player is forced to survive a button tapping mini-game which is sprung upon us out of nowhere (there is no tutorial. The game expects your familiarity with the concept and thusly does not need to explain it - as a side note it is impossible to die in this minigame, so a lack of familiarity does not impact gameplay, only narrative experience)

All while the only surviving villain from the first game directly says in dialogue "We're also inside the memory of Shadow Moses"

The cutscene also has Raiden face to face with the main villain who recognizes Raiden as a child soldier he helped raise to fight in an African conflict. For the first time we are able to view Raiden, view Jack as his own man outside of his similarities to Solid Snake. We find out he is a child soldier with an impressive kill record who was raised with other child soldiers, drugged and forced to kill in a conflict that he had no personal connections to. He claims "I was given a gun and told to shoot, if I refused then I was the one who would be shot."

Throughout the game, Raiden has been getting phone calls from his girlfriend, Rose, who serves as the mission analyst. When the villain, Solidus, reveals Jack's history she calls him to ask more about this and Jack at first pushes away the memories, claiming that "they" wiped his memories and that he experiences nightmares only to give a vivid and emotionally description of his experiences as young as 6 years old killing for no reason other than he was told to.

Rose attempts to comfort him, to say that she wants to share the burden of his past, Raiden refuses, blocking everything out and pushing Rose away, claiming that he cannot afford to start a family.

Children are a huge emotional trigger for Raiden. This is displayed heavily in the future games of the series.

Overall this is an extreme example of a backstory that would give an adult severe PTSD and forced to confront his past, Raiden is emotionally primed to have a complete dissociative break from reality.

But presently I am not writing about how Raiden experiences derealization. I'm writing about how the player experiences it.

We know that Raiden has been trained in virtual reality to prepare him for this mission. When we see cutscenes describing this we are shown footage of the previous Metal Gear games, particularly the virtual reality training missions from the PS1 game.

The implication is very much that Raiden has played the same games that we ourselves have. The Metal Gear Franchise has an interesting meta-narrative going on that displays games are released in order of declassification with an early conversation in MGS4 mentioning that the events of MGS3 (which takes place in 1964) were declassified recently in the game's present of 2014.

Raiden has played the Metal Gear games. We have played the Metal Gear games.

And the game itself is overtly recycling moments from earlier entries of the series and trying to highlight this fact.

Right after we put a virus into the AI.

Things got really weird from the moment we insert the disc to infect the system.

Escaping from the torture chamber our character is completely naked and runs to the next area. We are given a loading screen.

Ominous music plays and we receive a phone call from Campbell, the mission control from both this game and the previous Metal Gear games. He speaks with a distorted voice. He stutters, telling you that you must proceed with your m-mission. He notes that in your current condition you will not be able to attack or "enter the hanging mode"

He continuously spouts the mission objective and says your role is to take out the terrorists. Raiden demands to know why he keeps saying "role" and Campbell replies

Raiden then notes that he has never met Campbell in person. He has only spoken to him over long distance communication.

Should you return to the torture room the title card will be switched with the name of Japanese rail stations. If you pause the game you are treated to a "map" of Arsenal Gear:

The image is from Glauben, Wissen und Kunst der alten Hindus

All while Campbell calls you every few steps to order you to turn the game console off, recycle further lines from previous Metal Gear games (as well as show footage from them) and your radar is replaced with voyeuristic footage of a young woman sunbathing.

The enemies are now wearing thick armor with no humanizing characteristics and they fly about with inhuman power while wielding katana that can block machine-gun fire.

The floor has scrolling text floating across the surfaces something that the series uses for the VR stages to signify you are in a training stage.

The game is pulling out all of the stops to make sure you are confronted with the reality that you are playing a video game while the character within the video game is experiencing the same information.

He meets up with Snake who reveals he has the unlimited ammo bandana from completing MGS1, all but confirming this is a video game. Much of the information in this segment can be justified in-game. I literally cannot sidestep the fact that a flesh and blood man pointed at a piece of headgear and said "Unlimited ammo". I almost wanted to skip over it as it's devastating to my point about how the game tries to pull you and Raiden out of reality.

See to Raiden, he can no longer be certain if any of this is happening or not because of his experiences with VR. With everything collapsing around him, it feels reasonable to assume that the AI Virus is breaking down the universe around him. With full knowledge of the plot, we the audience can know that everything is happening and the virus has infected his augmented reality elements that make up the in-game HUD. But Raiden doesn't know that and the player on first playthrough cannot fully know it either.

It's almost reasonable to assume that the entire game is taking place within a VR Simulation.

Virtual Reality has long been studied as having links to DPDR with a number of scientific studies examining the link.

The connection is very much there though typically VR only influences a mild sensation of derealization when playing, though to those prone to dissociation they may experience more rapid and powerful effects with prolonged exposure.

Raiden tells Snake what is happening and how his grip on reality is falling apart, going as far to doubt whether his girlfriend, Rose, was ever real either. Snake has no idea how to verify for Raiden that the things that are happening are real and tells him to just keep moving forward and figure it out. He also provides Raiden with a sword.

In the metatext, this is a symbol for Raiden gaining his own unique playstyle. As long as he is emulating Solid Snake he cannot succeed but when he accepts himself as his own person and embraces his unique gameplay mechanic he is able to break free from the narrative and actualize as his own person.

In the sense of the derealization episode, it gives Raiden an opportunity to mow down the wave after wave of "Tengu Soldiers" who come after him and Snake.

Metal Gear is a franchise that doesn't like it when you kill people. Here it has handed you a sword and told you to go to town with an unlimited supply of anime ninjas. The game lightly insisting "it's a video game, it makes no difference how many people you kill" and to flaw the game's philosophy for a moment, the only penalty is a ranking when you beat the game. MGS3 is the one that actually hits you with consequences for in-game murder.

As Raiden stands on a platform with Snake the game continues to devolve and a custom Mission Failed screen appears, mimicking the standard game over.

Gameplay continues inside the small box that typically displays where you died, you can die on this screen.

You then fight 25 copies of the giant mech in a recreation of the photo area from the Metal Gear VR Missions and the world's most convoluted plot reaches its crescendo point with every character betraying everyone else before Raiden has to kill a cybernetic US politician with a sword for the first but not last time.

The sequence takes about forty-five minutes to an hour thirty depending on your play style. The plot is too much and has a layer of metatext on top of it regarding the nature of audience expectations and sequels along with a haunting premonition of what the internet would become.

There are a lot of reasons to praise and a lot of reasons to hate the ending of MGS2. Personally I adore it. But one thing that truly cannot be stated enough, especially back in 2001, is how the game intended to make the player feel during that final section.

It's not enough that Raiden was having a complete dissociative episode, losing grip on his reality, it's that the game was designed to make the player go through those emotions at the same time as the character.

I was going through a really rough patch at the time. It was a few months before I was kicked out, my ties with my mother had been cut off, my dad was in a ward and suffice to say where my head was at the time? The immersive dissociative experience this game offered worked like a charm. Though external factors had a lot of influence.

DPDR is weird in the sense that everyone dissociates. It's a natural and normal thing, but disorders that are born from an excessive amount of disconnect between the self and reality tend not to be relatable experiences. Displaying a character losing their grip on reality is not an easy thing to do.

When we see someone say "I don't know what's real any more" in a piece of media we have empathy for their situation but it's not easy to have the audience in the same mindset as them.

Another hauntingly good example is Perfect Blue which I will likely not discuss in detail in this essay series because the content is a little too dark and the depiction of Dissociative Identity Disorder is not flattering in the slightest.

But the movie does depict an actress whose reality is blurring in with fiction by having a series of interactions happen one after another and revealing that the entire scene was part of a television shoot, with every subsequent scene piling on the confusion between what is happening on camera and off camera.

I can think of other examples of characters experiencing derealization episodes. Some even have fairly good depictions of how someone can be driven to that point, such as the slowburn of Bojack Horseman Season 5 where a number of circumstances pile on until the title character has an episode. The problem is... every single depiction that is coming to mind right now ends in either stigmatizing depictions or violent outcomes.

Heck, even Mae and Raiden up there had violence attached to their dissociation.

If there's one thing I want to make clear as I go through these essays, it's that those who have mental illnesses featuring dissociation are usually trauma survivors and are far more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrators of it.

I'm happy with the two examples of derealization I've written about today, NitW for the realistic depiction of the origins and impact and MGS2 for taking the player along for the ride; but I'd still love to see an example where a break from reality did not end with blood.

Please send me an Ask if you can recommend any.

So... that about brings it to a close for my little ramble on DPDR. I've a few other entries in the essay series on the back-burner. Next will likely be a breakdown on how Umineko handles recontextualizing memories. I've gotten a few paragraphs of that drafted out already.

These essays are really a bit of self-indulgence for me, though so they happen when they happen.

Thank you for reading.

#dawn posting #night in the woods #nitw #metal gear #mgs #mae borowski #raiden #media myself and I #what a thrill #DID #watch me post my trauma in public #derealization #DPDR #unreality #media essays #Youtube

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