#i need to see happinesss
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Spent 1hr 40mins….and we are given ep 15 unnecessary cliffhanger. Bye i just wanted them to hug and kiss under the snow. That was all I ever wanted, more of them, her remembering partially by 45mins in. But nope. Cant you just let us enjoy baekhong for the final 2 eps like is it so difficult to make us swoon for them being happy
#queen of tears#i just really need them like scenes of them happy#like isnt it enough suffering#what twist and turn it’s giving me indigestion#i need to see happinesss#give me a break#urghhh#all that chemistry make use of it??!!!!#tmr’s ending better beeeeeee#them remarrying happily ever after for 1hr 15mins#my rambles
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Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 23]
I think after this it's kinda natural that Joris will never ever put his trust into anyone that isn't Kerubim or Atcham ever again.
I am once again asking why Kerubim has these books and what was he doing at devil's sacrament.
He's never beating those necromancy allegations.
There's a canonical name for the evil-ass looking huppermages.
youtube
Once again, this is Them in Dofus 2 when they reveal to Joris that they framed Julith or something. (source: my beautiful mind)
The Dessous comic implies that Marline bought this stuff from Kerubim which is so funny. It's beautiful how little of a shit the man gives for the safety of others.
I may not like Khan in his present form, as a macho gobbowler, but I like the idea of him. Joris, and his little "ghnhnn I have to do what's right, I have sacrifice my happinesss for other people" complex needs someone like that in his life who will buy him alcohol and help him run away from home when he's 14-16.
I'm sure if given another movie, or a show, Ankama's plan would have been to make Khan more likeable. He seems like a ride-or-die friend.
A scene ago he was in Julith's arms. So, she found it important to get him into the arms of this dofus-powered doll. Personally, I like to think that he started thrashing and maybe even bit her.
What did she lie about though? Liking him? Not wanting the Dofus? Being a competent person and not a fuck-up? (I love Bakara and say all of this with affection)
Once again, I empathize, that Julith was gloating about this to Bakara. That she doesn't really care about Joris (and by extension, Joris's feelings.)
She is killing a thousand people, who did nothing to her. These are civilians who came to watch a sports match. How many mothers are here with their sons and daughters who just wanted to look at their idols? If Joris never had Grougalorasalar's soul, if he and Kerubim never learned of her plan, THEY would have been among these viewers.
Julith is a very interesting character because she's ruthless, she has no morals, absolutely no understanding or compassion for others, — even Bakara or her own son, — and yet she is driven by love almost entirely. And that's her one redeeming quality.
But also — does it really change things, when you're driven by love to kill a thousand innocent people? To ruin your son's life? Because it doesn't really change much, to me...
I think there's a tragedy in that. She does love the idea of Joris. She loves what she sees of him, his voice, his face, and eyes. If she learned more about him, she'd probably love the parts he didn't show too. She'd love to see how he grew up.
She'd love how committed he is to those he loves. She'd love his ruthless march towards what he thinks is right that will allow him to close his eyes as he does unforgivable things. The only thing she would dislike is his loyalty to Bonta.
But the reverse will never be true. Joris can become a warmonger, a dictator, and a war criminal, but he would loathe to place his needs above those of others. He wouldn't do horrible things if he didn't think it was for the greater good of mankind.
As a 600yo man, Joris has lived through two apocalypses, — and yet people like Nox and Julith will lose 1-4 loved ones and go insane, killing people. I doubt he feels much for her, except for disgust.
Their friendship is so important to me. But also, somewhere out there, Tatak is crying.
I think one of the great tragedies of Joris's character is that he is doomed to break his own moral code, slowly but surely.
One must imagine Joris Jurgen living happily with the blood of innocents on his hands, because the alternative is more haunting.
One of her main issues is that she projects the actions of a few onto literally everyone in Bonta. Which is a very crazy fucking reach.
But I understand how she arrived at this reach to begin with: I don't think she was ever happy, before Jahash, and when she finally was happy, for once in her entire life, they took even that away from her.
You wanna know who else in this scene is going to have only 2 people who give meaning to his life? Jo—— [I am forcefully restrained by the police]
I just really like pointing out the similarities between Joris and Julith, — and the way these similarities underline their differences.
Once again: she doesn't give a shit about anyone's opinion. She is betting everything onto a nebulous future where Joris and Jahash and Bakara forgive and forget everything she did, and they live as a happy Fambly (in Brakmar, because that's a GOOD city and they will LOVE to move there, after being no longer welcome in Bonta due to the 1000 dead people.)
(Guy whose very emotional and Julith and Joris voice) guys I think she's starting to realize that their familial relationship is going to be unfixable.
Joris and everyone present here are quite aware that stopping this will kill one of them.
They are also very aware that one dead person is better than a thousand.
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Let it Out
(Gally x Reader)
Requested by my beloved @ultraintrovertedgryffindor, so in a big way this is her fault ♥️ Hope everyone has their tissues at the ready! But not to worry, it ends well. Enjoy! Gif credit: @gabriella0807
A forlorn bleakness reflected in your eyes as you peered through the small window of your and Gally’s shared hut not too far away from the beach.
He was there again.
The rock, the designated memorial, etched with a plethora of names of the ones who didn’t make it to the Safe Haven, the ones people would never see again in this life but would forever hold dear to their hearts.
It had been about three months since your arrival, and Gally still visited it every other day, even if just for a few minutes. You understood that it was something he needed to do by himself, so you never came up to him when he was there. However, the few times that you had caught glimpses of where exactly his somber gaze lingered, you had noticed… it wasn’t Chuck’s name he was looking at.
It was Newt’s.
Newt… Without a doubt, the most heart-wrenching loss for your group. The one person everyone wished had survived and everyone mourned, greatly.
Thomas, Minho, Fry, Brenda… You had seen them all cry over him, and it was a good thing for them. It was a way of letting it out as all humans with feelings deserved to, and they all seemed to know that.
Except for Gally.
After three months, he was the only one left who still had barely said a word about it to anyone or shed a single tear.
Not even you, the girl he loved and would trust with anything and everything, had a clue what went on in his mind when it came to that.
Normally you chose not to press it. At first you thought Gally was just dealing with it in his own way, that he just needed more time and eventually he, too, would open up about it. But as of late, it was starting to feel more and more like that day might not be coming at all. It was as if he was suppressing it, keeping it all bottled up inside him and securely locked for it to slowly eat away at him in silence.
You struggled to understand why. Newt was his friend, too, and you believed Gally had every right to grieve just like the rest of you, but it appeared as though he was deliberately avoiding it, not allowing himself to feel an ounce of it.
It wasn’t good for him, something needed to change. You loved him, you wanted to help him… you didn’t know how, but you had to try.
You stepped away from the window as Gally had turned and left the memorial rock, slowly making his way back to your hut. It was late, slightly past the time you two would usually head off to bed for another night of unpredictable sleep.
It wasn’t long before his tall form entered, the door closing behind him with a slight thud.
“Hey, baby…” Gally managed a small smile at the sight of you, already coming closer and pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead.
You smiled in response, momentarily bringing your hands up to squeeze his upper arms in affection before standing up on your tippy-toes and pecking his lips.
“Hey… I was starting to wonder if you were going to sleep on the beach tonight.”
Gally released a hushed chuckle “I’m sure I’d be a very generous offering to the mosquitoes, but no, I’ll pass.”
A soft giggle escaped you as two more kisses were pressed to either one of your cheeks, Gally’s fingers lovingly tracing up and down your waist.
The two of you began getting ready for bed and as silence overtook the room, your eyes kept flickering towards him, subtly taking in every little detail of his expression.
You quickly noticed how the second his eyes left yours, a distinct dullness pervaded them, draining them from anything resembling happinesss.
It was clear that it was nothing you had done wrong. He was in his head, more than likely plagued once again by something glum and heavy hovering over him.
He didn’t deserve it… Whatever it was weighing him down, you needed to get him to release it. Carefully, without any pressure, with only the gentlest of nudges.
As Gally discarded his t-shirt, you gingerly sat down beside him, on his side of the bed, placing a delicate hand on his warm shoulder.
He didn’t seem to notice at first, his eyes fixated on the opposite wall, submerged in his own thoughts.
“Gally…?” You frowned, softly squeezing his muscles as you moved closer to him “Are you okay?”
That worked to promptly bring him out of his inner turmoil as he glanced over to you, mustering a strained half-smile.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
You weren’t buying that. Though you knew he wasn’t lying to you for any hurtful or selfish reason, it couldn’t carry on like this.
Before he could look away again, you cupped the side of his face, keeping his eyes where they needed to be. On you.
“You know…. It’s okay if you’re not.” You prodded, gently, brushing your thumb over his cheek “You don’t have to be. Something’s clearly bothering you and I think I know what it is…”
As soon as you said that, you felt his body tense up, that same somber glint from before crossing his irises once more as he looked at you.
He didn’t want to talk about it… or maybe he did, he just couldn’t bring himself to. Though he may have endeavored to have it remain buried in his mind, he had to know that he could only outrun it for so long. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was important. For him, first and foremost.
With a wistful sigh, you tilted your head to the side, holding his gaze “Gally, you don’t have to keep going like this… I know it hurts, it hurts for all of us. It’s okay to let it out.”
Gally fought the instant urge to try and act like he didn’t know what you were talking about. The slight twitch of his mouth indicated how difficult it was for him to focus on the subject, let alone discuss it, even with you.
“Who would that help?” He frowned, dejectedly, his voice barely above a whisper.
You furrowed your brows, concern brimming your tone “You. It would help you… I know he meant a lot to you, too.”
Gally’s features seemed to have frozen, not a single muscle quivering on his face as he stared at you, months worth of repressed misery pooling in his eyes. As strong as he was in all aspects, this was one of the few things capable of making his inner strength diminish.
Your heart clenched at the torment radiating off of him in waves as you tenderly stroked his face.
“Gally… people grieve the ones they lost, it’s what they do. It’s painful and it’s hard, but it’s also necessary, because we’re all humans and we need it.”
You released a huff of air “I don’t believe it every truly goes away, but at least it gets easier to live with, over time. But the only way that has a chance of happening, is if you let yourself feel it and actually go through it… Otherwise, it will never let you go.”
Gally’s jaw clenched as he stayed silent for a moment, taking in your words before responding.
“Maybe it shouldn’t get easier. Not for me. Not after what I did in the maze.” His gaze finally lowered, engulfed with palpable guilt he couldn’t shake to this day.
Your eyes widened at what you were hearing. Realization washed over you, bringing you some much-needed clarity along with utter disbelief. So that’s what was ailing him. The reason he’d been keeping it all in was right there on the surface.
Gally didn’t think he deserved to feel better or to properly mourn Newt like the rest of you, because he wasn’t like rest of you.
All of you had at one point or another done things you wished you could take back, but Gally’s case was the heaviest of all. And although everyone else, including Thomas even, had long forgiven him for the mistakes he’d made before, it became clear in that moment, that there was still one person left who was yet to forgive him for it, and that was Gally himself.
You shook your head, vehemently, cupping his face with both hands.
“He never blamed you, you know… Not once. He understood that it wasn’t your fault, he knew exactly what happened… He knew you were still his friend.”
Gally released a bitter huff “Did he?”
You winced at the pensive tone of his breathy voice.
“Of course he did. He could see it. And with everything you did for us in the city-“
“Doesn’t really matter what I did, I still couldn’t help him in the end.” He quietly interrupted as he couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes again.
All of the raw anguish coursing through him was steadily seeping into you as well. You could already feel the incoming tears, joined by a slight tremble to your voice.
“You tried… Gally, you tried so hard, I know you did, I was there. There wasn’t anything more you could’ve possibly done!”
Gally shook his head, finally looking up at you. You let out a soft gasp upon witnessing the redness stinging his eyes.
He didn’t know if he could accept that. There had to have been something. He could’ve stayed with Newt, that way he would’ve been there to hold him back, to break up the fight, maybe that way he would’ve survived…
He tried, rapidly, to blink back the forming tears “What if there was? Maybe if I hadn’t left him alone with Thomas…”
“You didn’t “leave him”, you needed to help get the serum! For him.”
Gally’s shoulders slacked as he finally moved away from your gentle hold, his head dropping as he held it in his hands, his breath escaping him in short, broken gusts.
You bit the inside of your lip in worriment, placing your hand on his broad back and rubbing up and down in hopes of bringing him some comfort. You didn’t know if you could find the perfect thing to say to him that would make it all better, so you decided to keep quiet. At least until Gally decided to speak again.
After a few moments and a few attempts at composing himself, he did, the words he uttered causing your heart to plummet.
“He should’ve made it. He deserved it… He deserved it more than I did.”
You flinched, stifling a whimper as you immediately wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your head in his neck and holding him as tightly as you physically could.
“Don’t say that… Please, don’t ever say or think that. I don’t want you to, and Newt definitely wouldn’t want you to either.”
Something between a grunt and a sob escaped Gally as he wrapped his arms around your waist, returning your tight embrace. His shoulders slightly quaked, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel what was happening.
You stayed like that for the next couple of minutes. You didn’t say a word, you merely held him and he held onto you. You caressed his short sandy hair, the back of his neck, kissing the side of his head and offering all of your warmth and every bit of your closeness up to him.
When you felt Gally’s breath begin to even out and his muscles relaxing, you finally spoke again.
“If you could say something to him and you knew he’d hear you… what would it be?“ You whispered softly, still keeping a firm grip on his strong body.
Gally took a deep breath, his hands involuntarily balling into fists as he pressed his forehead into your shoulder.
“I’m so sorry… I wanted to help.”
Your eyes closed as you swallowed a sob, silent tears rolling down your cheeks.
Your heart wept with him, your mutual pain circling you and pulling you even closer into each other.
Yet, as agonizing as it was, something about it felt thoroughly right. Like a new path slowly revealing itself and shining its beckoning light on you.
You pressed your lips to Gally’s temple, fervently tightening your hold on him.
“He knows…”
Your soft whisper resonated within Gally, a shuddery breath leaving his parted lips.
You had to loosen your grip as he suddenly pulled you into his lap, instantly encompassing you in his arms once again and hiding his face in between your neck and shoulder. His favorite place. His own personal safe haven.
You knew that wasn’t the end of it. Gally still had a long way to go before he could fully move past it, as much as it was possible for any of you. But it was a very promising start. And maybe someone, from somewhere beyond what you could see or hear, could help guide you and him through it all.
Tags: @obsessivelycapricious @magnoliabloomfield @ultraintrovertedgryffindor @maraudersimp @abundantxadorations @izzymultifan @willseyebrows @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @anniemylennox @gallysonegoodlung @joemomma2121 @lattsgocaps @sherbertscarrothead-2 @lullabaesstuff @crazysheeplyca @thesuitkovian @lefreyja @blanknamed
#the maze runner#tmr gally#gally x reader#gally imagine#the death cure#gally x fem!reader#safe haven#tmr#gally x y/n#gally x you#tmr x reader#tmr imagine#gally fanfic#tmr gally imagine#gally tmr#gally oneshot#will poulter
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Hello babes!!! OMG, today has been a long week! A wonderful, dream big come true week! HARRY IS SOLO ON THE COVER OF VOGUE! Also, I have a new installment of Tryst for you all based on this 👆photo! Without further ado, I give you...
Scotland!
It's the pose that does it.
She's been so, mon dieu she hates the moral judgment of the word. But it remains the right one here, in any language. Soo good, since she decided he couldn't give her what she needed, or maybe wasn't ready to, or didn't see her like that. Nothing more than a flying fuck when he got itchy on the road and she was available to scratch.
But here she was, with his encompassing form around her back and his arm causally slung across her collarbone and she could barely keep her lip from between her teeth to smile.
Smile for the camera, Helene. He'd whispered in her ear and she was thankful for their blustery setting the clothing covering her chill bumps.
All day, She'd been trying to keep dry and get some candid shots to go into the vault. Sometimes she wondered why they paid her to take so many images, most of them, a greater preportion than usual, just lived in her computer or Jeff's computer never to be used.
Would they ever release them? To the utter delight and meltdowns of this man's rabid fans.
She gets it, Helene does. What they see in him, she sees it herself often. And she sees more, his dick has made her soul smile on more than one occasion.
It didn't start with these libidinous thoughts, it wasn't one of those moments where he was a living lighthouse or hedonism personified. It's the first scene with the imaginary fish and he's having a bit or trouble. He's also cold and wet. Which are two sensations he doesn't love, but seems to include in every damn piece of art he makes. He's throwing the little bean bag onto the rock and it's not meant to be gentle exactly, but he seems irritated, not concerned as you would be for a suicidal fish when you yourself are suicidal. His character at least. Thank god. But his physical discomfort is intruding on his ability to act right now; he's barely holding on. He loses his balance while frustrated and falls into the water, cursing.
Helene will not laugh.
She hides her giggles while they change him. He got his Gucci denim outfit uncomfortably wet. Why would you chose that outfit to go to a watery death? She is overthinking. As always.
He's ready to go again, fresh Gucci down to his drawers, and by the 10th take, he's in the swing.
When Harry nails it, He gives the director and Helene the biggest grin and she's charmed. The lights have turned on and the fog has lifted. He shines.
He is finished with this set up and Helene has just put her gear away. Harry brushes past her to get around a rock and presses an affectionate kiss to the easily accessible top of her head.
"Thanks for coming, Tiny. Know it's cold."
Helene smiles at him, and somebody else with a camera, someone not her, clicks their picture.
It's always weird when she is the subject. She's pretty sure she has more photos with Harry, selfies at least than with any boyfriend she has had, in her life, which flashes before her eyes, with a highlight reel of her beneath Harry, while he turns her around towards the camera.
The arm that was across her scapula, turns her like a top and her stomach flutters with the motion. His motion. His arm has come across her clavicle, like it did in LA, and she comes together like the place in between those bones, a shallow place where her heartbeat is thumping visibly.
She's thrumming.
Not that there is a damn thing she can do about it. He can do about it. Anybody can, they have so much work to do.
The quiver in her chest and bones and betwixt her legs stays with her all day. Through lunch with all the people she's missed on their break, around the lunch Harry's had cooked for them, with all the little flourishes he likes. All the different food needs accommodated, hospitality on show. It's a wonderful midday after a bitter morning, the sun's even peaked through. The whole group brims with happinesss. Helene and her table included, she laughs and kisses Molly's cheek, she's so cute.
She stays away from Harry though, through at least theee set ups, one not involving him where she could see his intention to hover and smell her pent scent. So, she puts distance, physically between them all day, especially when they move on to the shoot at the docks.
She's taking far away shots. It was easier to control the pulse at her center when he was in the loose jumpsuit. Now in the tight sweater vest, where he looks like some movie star from a bygone era, she's struggling.
It's sending her. Fly her to the moon.
So she keeps her distance and captures him from afar. She'd been doing so well.
Still is! She reminds herself.
The day is long because of her longing, but Helene makes it through.
"You coming to the pub." She jumps a bit at his breath near her ear, her hair is stirred by its breeze. She's surprised, she can usually feel his approach 10 paces off.
"No, need my bed." She begs off. She's begging he doesn't press, with those puppy dog eyes and dimples he knows how to wield.
"Really?" He pouts. "Need your company." He insists.
Oh, he's reached for the big ammunition, he's used everything in his arsenal, he's even touching her arm. He turns her again and she knows she going to say yes before he bites his lip and says, "please."
"Qui." She exhales. She'd like to qualify the sigh as resigned, but it's full of breath and melodic.
"Yes!" He presses a kiss to her forehead and squeezes her before he wanders off to gather troops.
So much for distance.
The pub is lovely, if their wine selection a bit limited. She can see why Harry picked this for his fictional island. He has excellent taste and this is so picturesque and any number of stories, real and imagined, could be contained in its Walls.
He tastes excellent.
He's across the room holding court. He's a little drunk, and he's just thrown his head back and she can remember the shape of his Adam's Apple on her tongue, and the taste. God the taste of his skin, especially after a show. Her lips would be raw from the salt afterwards, and dual thirsts would greet her in the morning light. Water with something more mineral from his skin.
Helene gulps her wine and tries to tune back in to the English around her. The mix of accents and the still difficult language is enough for her to have to get her mind out of the gutter intentionally to follow along.
Not the gutter, Harry's room.
She's squinting and translating something someone has said in her head and wondering how many times somebody has refilled her glass when another intoxicant fills her senses.
Harry's hand is on top of her head and then sliding down the back of her hair. It's exactly like he does when his dick is in her mouth. But he's usually not grinning like that.
"Tiny!" He's so jovial when drunk. "This seat taken?"
There is no seat. It's the end of the booth, there is a small amount of brown leather, and Harry wedges himself onto it and picks up her legs, uncrosses them and lays them over his own to make space. He's solved his own problem and worsened hers.
She quirks a brow at him and he just kisses it like it's totally normal she's basically on his lap among all their colleagues. Only in this group he's made close as family would this not look risqué. Only with him. She's thinks only Sarah and Mitch know about them. Know that the 'know' each other. And they aren't on this shoot.
Nobody is looking at them funny, so she had better stop staring at him.
She tears her eyes away, like the wrapper of a condom, and goes back to translating.
It's useless when he starts running his nails along her thighs. She puts her hand on his to stop him, but he just grips her thigh instead.
It is not a step in the right direction. It's only leads one direction for her thoughts. To the way his huge hands look on her tiny body. The way his palm can cover her whole stomach and his fingers reach her honey pot still. She has photographic evidence. Between that thought and the wine, she needs to leave.
"Where are you going?" He looks very sweet, except the glint in his eye. She narrows hers at him.
"My room."
"Already?" He pouts.
"Qui."
"I can't really leave yet."
"I didn't ask you to."
He tilts his chin. "Maybe not out loud." He whispers just under her breath.
She exhales.
"Will you wait up for me?" He looks up through his lashes.
She can't even answer but her head moves up and down like a teabag into hot water in the morning.
She's boiling.
He grins. And leans up to kiss her cheek. "What room?" He murmurs. She knows he could find out if he wanted, but it would also alert the front desk, which might make it to the media, or worse, a fan with Twitter.
"24" she whispers through the veil of her hair. Pulls away from his tractor beam eyes and smiles at the table. Gives a few hugs and a big wave.
The inn is small, quaint. She's on the second floor, which is the top floor, waiting. Helene's kept her clothes on. The same outfit she has had on all day. Jeans, loose, and a t shirt, her dad trainers. Should she change? She tries to remember what Harry had on at the pub. He had changed a fair few times throughout the day.
She think he was wearing a hoodie, his name emobossed on the breast in some language or another, Gaelic?, and loose light jeans. Dirty vans adorning his feet.
She hopes she ends the night in his jumper, or wakes up and slipes it over her shoulders.
The hours slip away and her eyes have kettlebells attached to them. She's just about to take care of single girl tasks, washing her face and putting on the extra lock when the knock comes.
"I was about to go to bed without you." She leans against the door jamb. She's not purposely jutting her hip. She's not!
"Ahh," he teases, touches the smudges below her droopy eyes and pulls her blonde hair. "You tired."
"Qui, it's been a long day." She breathes.
"What?" He laughs and pushes her into the room with his hips, "your call time was hours after mine!" He flashes his big green eyes.
"Maybe, but I don't have your stamina." She counters. Harry the athlete raises a brow at her statement.
"I've never had a problem with your endurance."
He let's that lie there, and she can tell both of their mind's are roving over memories of late nights turned into early morning mapping flesh.
"No, I suppose you are right." She goes easy when he pulls her forward and his mouth slides against her like a skeleton key into a waiting lock. She expects the kiss to escalate, but maybe they are both a little tired, exhausted from a long day, while longing for an extended night. His kiss remains deep, full of tingling tongue touches, but doesn't get faster, her back doesn't hit the wall, and there are no stops where she is pressed against or onto furniture.
He has some embedded geography of hotel rooms, because he navigates the suite like the globetrotter he is. They are both fully dressed, and the squeezes and rubs over the fabric are exciting, reminiscent of juvenile contained eagerness. When her knees hit the back of the mattress, Helene decides the adults need to take over and hikes the tucked in button down up and over his head, forgoing the buttons.
The black ink on his golden skin is a trail familiar to her fingers tips and she follows it down, down to the leaves framing his joyful path. She can feel the pressure of his erection on the slide mechanism of his trousers and against the strained teeth tethered together on his zipper. If it wasnt metal, it would unzip itself against the force. She sighs when she pulls him out. His dick makes her so proud every time. She can't imagine what it's like to carry it around.
No wonder he is so self confident, the word cocksure occurs to her and she giggles.
"Are you laughing at me?" He looks down and she's charmed, for all his assuredness, he's still vulnerable. It's why he is so endearing.
"Non," she's got him naked and guides him back to the head aboard. He looks more tired than her suddenly, he had a bigger day, job. She'll keep up the inversion of the evening, she can recall no other time together where she had clothes on while he was naked. "I was just think how much I appreciate your dick."
"And it made you laugh?" Oh he's still a little offended.
Helene will have to make it up to him. She ruts against his lap and takes stock.
He's half mast. Which is a rare state for him, in her experience. She nuzzles into his lap and laps from his base to tip. She can feel the plumping under her tongue and decides that's not quite adequate.
She can fit him all the way like this. It won't last, so she takes advantage and mentally pats herself on the back as she seems to expand her capacity as he swells. Once she can't muzzle her nose into his patch of hair anymore she pulls off with a gasp and looks up to his panting face.
"I wasn't laughing at you," she nods towards his bobbing shafts. "In my head, I thought how I'm proud of your dick, and decided it was the wrong word. But the right feeling." Helene put him back in her mouth with her tongue extended out, and stroked him from her throat to the squirming tip.
He's chuckling now and she smiles with her eyes at him. "You're proud of my dick?" His dimples are the size of salad plates.
"Qui, aren't you?" She flashes her brows while
She straddles his lap. She's not sure she's satisfied her mouth hunger for him, but they have all night.
"Well...." He blushes, which makes her giggle. She's fully naked on his bare dick and he's blushing.
"Know you are." She whispers in his ear. "You have every reason to be."
"Mmmhmmm." He could be responding to her statement or her rocking over his lap. If one of them tilted just so....
"You've been cocky!" She emphasizes that by moving her hips to an almost position. "Enough before."
He looks just a touch frustrated.
"Should I show you how proud I am?" She slips the tip in, just the tip. Not quite to the popping point. It's a tantalizing suspension, just rocking while his eyelashes flutter. "Show you why you deserve to be cocky?"
"Mmmmm," he hums, vision now between their legs, mesmerized. "Please." He breathes and looks at her.
"Do we need a condom?" She's not sure how active he's been.
"Not for me." He grabs her hips and tries to push her down, as tantalizing as the pop of a champagne bottle, the moment of jubilant anticipation.
"Better safe than sorry!" she dismounts and grabs a skin. He breathes a breath like he is frustrated.
"Oh, Cherie, ne t'inquiète pas!" She teases and strokes firmly, guiding his foreskin over the sensitive tip. "We're only beginning." He helps her roll it down and lifts her thighs to press against the headboard on either side of him. She's glad it's padded. Harry's done waiting, or being gentle and shy. She can't even acknowledge the pop of their joining she loves, she's too busy catching up to the rough thrust of his pelvis up and into her own. "Merde!"
"Mmmmhmmmm." He hums and catches her lips with his own, a net to butterflies. It's soft, slow and sensual, in opposition to the bruising hold he has on her hips. He can handle her with one of his big hands. The other has found its place on her sensitive nipples. This escalated so fast she thinks the ending will follow the beginning with no middle to enjoy. She was hoping to fuck him slow.
Her hands slide down the headboard, it's coarse beneath her hands in comparison to the hair that fills her hands in the next moment. She pulls his neck back a little roughly. "Wait."
"For?" He keeps working her over his dick and it's compelling, and she loves it, but he's showing her why her makes her proud, and that wasn't tonight's lesson.
"I want to come."
"Good, that's what I want to." He hits her spot unerringly. And she's nearly convinced.
"No, non, on your tongue." She has to forcibly take herself off him. She lifts her knees and places her hands on his shoulders to hoist herself up. It's a favorable arrangement, her legs as long as his torso. "Allez." She suggests and his answer is a smile and the extension of his tongue right up her slit.
Helene has to grab the headboard to stay upright. She knew she was on the way. But how close she was to her journey is even clearer when his hands draw her ass cheeks apart and he's spreading her wetness over both holes while manipulating her clit with his tongue.
When he fits his mouth over her hood, creates suction and licks while fitting two fingers inside her separated by just inches of skin accessing both holes, she clenches without prologue. "Fuck." She rides his face until her orgasm has ridden out its welcome and he pulls his fragrant hand out to aid its twin in holding her steady until she's clutching the headboard and coming against his tongue again. Her wriggling at the over sensitivity only aiding his quest for number two.
She slides down his body slow and she's done, until she remembers her intention when his dripping shaft, wet with her and leaking a few drops for himself, prods her ass. She was gonna run this show, swing her hips like a pendulum so he'd enter a trance like state while inside her, the suspended animation of ecstasy. Helene needed to come so she would be calm enough to do it. To hypnotize him, slow and sweet.
She just needs to control the tempo, bang out a rhythmic unhurried beat on his hips.
It only takes a minor shift in alignment to throw them off their orbit. Send his mercury into retrograde with her pussy. She slides over the tip with ease, she's wet enough that she doesn't even have to work him in like normal. Though it still prickles her nerves with that familiar addictive burn she's only had with him and a few others. Those that pushed her boundaries. She's a globetrotter when she fucks Harry though. Her exhale would be loud if his groan wasn't louder.
"Fuck, Helene!" He looks down again and she decides now that she has given him dinner, he needs a show. Time to mesmerize him.She flexes her pelvis, rounding back and holds the headboard hard to find her beat. It's a slow jam, all the flavor of a samba. She's got a circle like a Ferris wheel and he's stuttering her name like he's afraid of heights but loving the ride.
"Again." Helene demands, her head against his forehead.
"What?" Harry's staring at her motion hard, distracted. Helene stops, she wants his attention, his eyes, his mouth, his dick, every inch of him focused on her, including those inside her. She rides the circle to the top, just his tip inside, and hovers. No other passengers are getting on, she just wants him to admire the view. She clenches and knows he can see it when he shivers.
Helene uses her nose to nudge his gaze up. He looks up, down, up, again. She pulls out enough to nearly unseat him and his fingers dig into her hips. "What?" He repeats.
"My ñame." She looks him in the eye and presses her panting mouth to his while she slides all the way down, his pubic hair against her swollen clit. "Say my name."
He breathes it out, like a prayer, "Helene!" While she takes them to the top again. "Helene!" He shouts in exhalations when she slams down to his pelvis harder. "Helene!" She swings back up slow, and drops like they've found themselves on a rollercoaster.
By now her name is a chant, "Helene, Helene, helene, fuck Helene!" He's squeezing and staring and licking her lips sloppily and she can tell he doesn't know if he should stop her, try to help her along so they can get off together, or just cum.
He looks desperate to finish.
So she stops, and he looks frantic. "Baby, please!"
Helene shrugs, kisses him and grinds herself against him inside on her spot and outside on begging pleasure zone until she's almost there. She squeezes him rhythmically to keep him ready.
She's almost there. They can hop off this ride together now. So she starts the ascent to the top again, slow circles until he's panting and chanting again, and then it's a free fall ride for them both.
Helene loses her stomach and screams his name in harmony with his chorus of hers.
Their sweaty foreheads rest together, until he is chuckling.
"Quoi?" She catches her breath enough to ask.
"I was just thinking, I definitely won't need a photo to remember this one!"
She feels proud, but she knows there is an image he's forgetting, one that will remind her of this Scottish adventure forever.
Months later, they've found themselves together, like together together, when she comes across it. She posts it, with a longing thank you.
When Harry gets home from set, he's smiling like a Cheshire Cat. "You trying to tell me something?" He shoves his phone at her with the open Instagram.
Helene shrugs. She's feeling proud, even prouder than she felt a year ago.
And she wants to show him.
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immj2 30.11.20 lb
ok we’re just gonna skimmmmmmmmm through the first half of the ep coz i really do not care about the shaadi ceremony; i’m just here for the drama once V arrives.
varmalas exchanged.
i am really feeling for dadi. she’s literally dying from sad.
some gloating from this fuck. (SOMEONE TELL ME WTF HE SAW IN THE CONTAINER HOUSE AND WAS LIKE OHHHHHHHH TOH YEH HAI TUMHARA PLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.......... DID HE SEE V???? DID HE OFFER HIM $$$$$$ TO SWITCH OVER TO HIS TEAM???? WHERE IS ALL THIS OVERCONFIDENCE COMING FROMMMM?????????)
dadi is jhoolofying between stage 2 and 3 of grief, and this fucker is like do kanyadaan no pls. sau jootein naa maaruuun mein isko dadi ko itnaaa pareshaan karne ke liye?????
anyway fwd fwd fwdddddddddddd.
mangalsutra time and lol........... mangalsutra is missing.
growled threats to riddhima, ki i’ll burn this fucking house down and then uske raakh se tumhare maang mein sindoor bharoonga. which again, is a concept taken from naagin 5. Y’ALL NEED TO BE SITTING AT THE OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE CLASS, SINCE YOU CAN’T STOP COPYING YOUR SHIT OFF OF EACH OTHER.
ishani isn’t noticing, but riddhima is actually throwing her the tiniest grateful smile. god i wishhhhhhhhhh they were teamed up, they’d be sooooooo damn formidable together!!!!!!!!
“good job, ishani!”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE STAN THIS KANJI EYED KHURAFAATI COUPLE WHO WON’T STAND FOR ANY FUCKERY WITH VANSH BHAI. BADA MAZZAAA AAAYEGA AB SE INKE SCENES MEIN.
kabir paid off the shady panditji who’s like ok no issues kal tak pehna dena mangalsutra.
phera time.
this b never fated to have a shaadi with her consent. how does someone get into this situation not once, but TWO (2) wholeass times?????? at this point, you have got to realise that the problem is YOU.
AAKHRI FUCKING PHERAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
god knows what she threw in the fire but as the song goes..........
sis poori taiyyaari ke saath aayi hai. had tucked in one of her 3000 zeher ki sheeshis into her lehenga/kafan. taking a shot like she’s at her bff’s bachelorette party.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand.........................
“the fuck is going on in this house?????”
isski batteeesi toh dekho. lmao. too cute. she gets such few opportunities in this show to smile genuinely, and it’s nice to see her be truly happy in a moment!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SAAJAN-JI GHAR AAYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(whaddya know????? he coordinated his outfit and everything!!!!!!!!)
poor dadi had justttttttt reached the depression/acceptance part of grief and le.............. naya shock.
also i cannot stop lmao at angreeeeeeee. hahahahahahahaha.
khee khee khee khee. kabir currently hearing this music in his head.
meanwhile riddhima’s internal soundtrack is going.........
asldkfjdlsafldskjfldskjflkdsjlfkjdlsflsdflkjdsl the look he’s throwing at kabirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
kabir:
lmaooooooooooooo riddhima is about to murder V for his shenanigans
“hero ki entry aisi hi hoti hai, riddhima!” lmaooooooooooo. he’s gonna get bitch-slapped for this the moment they’re alone together.
lmao he quickly just hugged her again to shut her up. v. cute moment.
angre is still in shock lmao, i can’t get over it.
once again the Murder Look has been set on kabir. lmaoooooo i really wouldn’t wanna be him rn.
“inspector kabir. vansh raisinghania apni riyaasat mein waapas laut aaya hai. swagat nahi karoge humara?”
can’t deny, there was a lotttttt of swag in this moment.
also riddhima the dumbass stillllllllllllllllllll doesn’t realise even now that this is vansh??????? you can have trained him as much as you want, but THIS WHOLE ~~~~AURA~~~ AND VOCABULARY AND THE VOICE AND THE EXPRESSIONS????? THAT CANNOT BE TAUGHT, MY SIMPLE-MINDED SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmao pairrr chooooein dadi ke. 50,000 ka phatka for riddhima, as per rate card. (plus how much ever the 2 hugs would have cost..............)
AW MANNNNNNNN, LOOK AT HIS BABY 🥺🥺🥺 FACE. AND DADI’S HAPPINESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A GENUINELY GOOD MOMENT! THIS IS THE SHIT I WATCH TELLYWOOD FORRRR.
but this bhagwaan talk is not very vansh-y. huh. guess there’s nothing like surviving falling off a 1000 foot cliff to become religious.
I???????????? AM?????????? GENUINELY?????? SO??????? SOFT????????????????????
“yeh kaise ho sakta hai??? poori zindagi mein maine itna daraawana sapna nahi dekha hai!!! aur yeh toh haqeeqat banke aa gaya!!”
snortttttttttttttt. i love itttttttt. I LOVE ITTTTTTTTT.
i got distracted by the fly crawling all over K’s varmaala. reminiscent of the mike pence fly!
“mujhe toh nahi lagta yeh vansh hai. [...] it’s just not possible!”
ASDKDJFSDLKFJLSDKJFLSDJK THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!!!!!
bhaiiiiiiiiiii has to manaaofy roothi behenaaaa firsttttt. yesssss ishaaaniiiiiii make him work for itttttt. bhai dooj bhi miss kar diya manhoos ne apne dramay karne ke chakkar main!!!!!
lmaooooooooooooooooooooooo kabir’s reaction at his ek hazaaron mein meri behenaaaaa hai getting taken tf back. besttttttttttttt.
“mere chote prince ya princess ka kya haal hai? khayaal rakha uska?”
“jaan se bhi zyaada.”
“par ab aap aa gaye hain. toh thodi careless ho sakti hoon. haina?”
WHEN I TELL YOU I YELLED SO FUCKING HAPPILY AT MY SCREEN AT THIS MOMENT?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!
question about siya. and promise ki ab main aa gaya hoon na, sabbbbbb theek kar doonga. haaaaaaye, old shivaay waali feelings i’m getting yaaaar, when he was Best Big Brother. god, i really love this tropeeeee. yeh waala tellywood set hamesha aise bade bhaiyyon se aabaad rahe!
angre still like wHoo aRe yOu tHo??????
RAM BHARAT MILAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmaooooooo vansh turning around to look at chachi and her fakeasssssss
chachi twitter/insta fandom ki awaaz hote hue is like your beardddddd tho :’((((((((( and V is like hospital staff ne hulia bigaad diya. BITCH MORE LIKE IMPROVED IT 1000x. ugh so stinkin hotcutegorgeous you are right nowwwwww.
like this face he made???????? i just cannot standdddddddddddd how fucking good he looks in this ep?!?!!?!?!?
“meri soch se kahin zyaada achche se sambhaal raha hai yeh sabhi ko.” lmao riddhima, you dumbassssssssss. you are just so fucking stupiddddd istg.
lmao his ice cold look at mummy’s fakeassery.
backstory toh plan kii thi in dono ne, lekin riddhima ne itnaaaaa zyaada bhi nahi training dii ke itnaaaa chhaaaaaa jaaaye lol.
sdlkjdslkfjlskdjfldkfjldskjfldskjfldksjfldskfjlkdsjkl time for sexxxyyyyyyyyyyy
i just want someone to look at me with as much lust and mirth as vansh looks at kabir. that’s all i’m asking for.
riddhima looking at this like danggggggg i about to lose both my men. that too, to each other.
asdflkdsjflkdsjflkjdslfkjdslkfjlksdjflkdsjflkdsjflkjdslfkj he literally gave K the european “up yours” gesture while showing him his ghaav. i truly do love V2.0
“shareer ke ghaav bhar lenge, kabir. lekin dil ke ghaav....... zindagi bhar ke liye dard de jaatein hain.”
OMFG THIS DUMBASS STILL DOESN’T REALISE THAT IT’S VANSH?!!?!?!?!?!!? THIS IS LITERALLY THE SAME DIALOGUE *SHE* TOLD HIM THE DAY SHE DISCOVERED RAGINI AND THEY BOTH HAD INJURIES ON THEIR HANDS AFTER HE PUNCHED THE CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!! RIDDHIMA YOU LITERAL DINGDONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
V demanding answers of mummy ki just what this asshole doing in my house, and ishani is just tooooooooo happy to fill bhai in on the goss. lmaooooooo i loveeeee ittttttt!!!!!!!!!
V like hmmmmmmmm seems a little too nicely wrapped up for my liking.
lmao chachi is like oh god if he catches their kaand, then ours is just thaaaaat much easier to find out, and she’s putting in a good word for mummy and K. koiiiiiiiiiiii faayyyda nahi hai. even in the unlikely event that he’s not vansh, photuuuuu dekh ke hi pehchaan gaya tha vihaan ke tum log awwal number ke draamebaaz ho.
kiskoooooooo pattttiiiii padaaaa rahe ho tum log haan???? bhai apna hardware/software/anti-malware sabbbbbbbb upgrade karwaaake aaya hai. aise nahi phasne waala.
chaachi is like IT’S ALL RIDDHIMA’S FAULT! SHE’S THE ONE WHO LET HIM IN!!!!!!!!!!
welp! :) :) :) :)
BEST EPISODE I’VE EVER WATCHED OF THIS SHOW?!?!!?!?!?!? YUP!!!!!!!!!!!! VERY PSYCHED FOR WHAT’S COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Affirmations
i am the creative power in my world, i express myself as creatively as possible
i create my own reality.
i am an open channel for creative ideas
This is a new day. i am a new me. I now choose to release all hurt and resentment
Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas
i am now becoming all that i am destined to be
it is safe for me to go beyond my parents limitations. i am free to be me
I am constantly moving forward in the direction of my goals
my life continues to get better and better. i now move into my greater good
I am a decisive and productive person. I follow through with tasks that I start and make no excuses
i am rich successful hard working persistent optimistic positive and happy
i am self disciplined
i now choose to release every negative destructive fearful idea and thought from my mind and my life
Good now flows into my life from expected and unexpected channels
My body represents perfection i am vibrantly healthy
i am very well organized. life is simple and easy.
I have good loyal and honest friends.
It is always easy for me to adapt and change. I am flexible and flowing
What i give out, i get back. i give out only goodness and in turn only goodness comes back to me.
I live solely in the present
happinesss is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings i’ve been given.
My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless my potential to succeed is infinite
No job is beneath me or above me. if sth needs doing i do it
I am my best friend. I love what i see in me
I trust universal intelligence and i have faith that what i desire already exists.
i am worth loving. I am worth respect. there is love and respect all around me
i open my consciousness to all the wonderful possibilities of life
whatever i need to know is revealed to me at exactly the right time
when i really love myself everything in my life works
Learning is easy and fun for me
My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is plentiful with prosperity
i am good enough. just as i am, i approve of myself at all times. I possess the qualities needed to be extremely successful
the people in my life are really mirrors of me, my world is safe and friendly
i am created to succeed and i now give thanks for my success
i speak up for myself. i claim my power now
i keep my thoughts positive, life brings me the good experiences i deserve.
i am unlimited in my ability to create good in my life.
i am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing
i have confidence in myself cos i have confidence in God
i keep my thoughts centered on what i wish to experience
i believe God gives me the power to attain what i really want
i expect the best and with Gods help i will attain the best
I believe that the subconscious power which gave me this desire is now fulfilling it through me
by day and by night i am being prospered in all of my interests
by day and by night i am prospered in all my ways
my sales are improving everyday
my skin is improving everyday
i can see the law of attraction working in my life
i have peacee of mind
i am filled with love and i express it
i love my life and i attract everything i think about
i am genuinely happy
Money keeps coming to me constantly and in big amounts because I deserve it. i love money because i love myself. I am open and receptive to new avenues of income
I have manifested a steady, infinite source of money for me and my family. As a result, I am able to get whatever I want and need. my bank account is wide open and ready to receive. I am safe and healthy. My family is safe and healthy.
There is enough time and space for everything i want to do. I trust life to be wonderful. i see only good ahead of me
My bank account balance keeps increasing.
I am living my best life. i am always happy and positive.
I do everything successfully.
Money is always attracted to me in different forms.
Divine order takes charge of my life today and everyday.
Divine Intelligence gives me all the ideas i can use.
All things work together for good for me today. This is a new and wonderful day for me. There will never be another day like this one
im divinely guided all day long and whatever i do will prosper. I go forth in peace.
whenever my attention wanders from that which is good and constructive i will immediately bring it back to the contemplation of that which is lovely and of good report.
I am a spiritual and mental magnet attracting to myself all things which bless and prosper.
I am going to be a wonderful success in all my undertakings today. I am definitely going to be happy all day long
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full moon in Aquarius tarotscopes
applies to sun, moon and rising placements.
feel free to like/rt if it resonates. i would love to know your thoughts, too!
general reading, so if it doesn’t apply, let it fly!
this reading is based on what the signs need to work on this full moon in aquarius.
deck used: buddhism reading cards by sofan chan
time frame: 3rd August - 2nd September
― ♈︎: pure understanding
“when you take away the personal stories and fears created by the mind and strip away the toxic emotions of anger, self-doubt and frustration, you can look at what is happening, quite simply, as is.”
aries, it looks as if this full moon may bring up a situation that you just can’t wrap your head around. you don't want too. but don't you know that lower-level emotions hurt you more than the other person? see the situation for what it is.
― ♉︎: letting go
“letting go simply means allowing things to be as they are without constantly struggling to control or resist an outpace or continually reminding yourself of an unhappy past event or a negative emotion.”
sometimes, when we are not where we want to be in life, whether it be financially, career-wise, love wise, it is because of a fixation of how we want things to be. loosen up. you can gain more when open hands.
― ♊︎: pure effort
“consider all spiritual teachings as an intellectual exercise to be practised daily, diligently and with discipline. this constant effort to maintain your daily practice is central to all spiritual practices that bring about personal transformation.”
perhaps now is a good time to start or strengthen your spiritual practice. find what works for you. there are so many ways to clear the mind. try and go through life with more compassion for others and yourself.
― ♋︎: happinesss
“happiness can only be experienced when the mind is quiet and the heart is open to making pure connection with your own true self, other people and the world around you. this kind of happiness is only attainable by your sincere values of serving, giving, sharing and creating for mankind’s higher evolution.:
have you been neglecting your happiness lately? has you’ve been so focused on obtaining your desires that when you finally get it, you’re left unsatisfied? true happiness can be found when you’re living authentically and striving to help others.
― ♌︎: generosity
“when you act in the true spirit of generosity, with no expectations, your heart expands outwardly as a consequence of the compassion and loving kindness to be found within.”
it feels good when you give to others and you seen on their face how much they appreciate it. how can you evoke more generosity in your life? what can you offer someone to brighten up their day, and in turn, yours?
― ♍︎: the path and suffering
"conflicts and struggles - as well as happiness and joy - are all transitory experiences. once you awaken to this fundamental fact of life, you can transform any pain, conflict or struggle into a positive experience.”
“the path to enlightenment is an endless process. you have to practice diligently and with discipline. eventually, you will become the path itself, and fewer struggle will come your way.”
make sure you’re taking some rest, and bringing into the start of each day your intention. things do get better but sometimes the road is lonely. i really feel like this full moon is significant in some way, shedding an old skin and illuminating something for you all.
― ♎︎: gratitude
“gratitude is a powerful kindness energy. when expressed outwardly - by giving thanks for the richness brought to you by the other people, their services and contribution - your gratitude builds a feeling of kinship that breaks down all illusions of separateness.”
if you aren’t thinking of at least 3 things a day that you’re grateful for, now would be a good time to start. focus on what you have already, show deep appreciation for it, and watch how your mood gets better and consequently, your life gets better, too.
― ♏︎: attachment
“attachment arises when we want something different from what we are experiencing right here, right now. this ever increasing list of unfulfilled desires causes us to experience discontentment and disconnects us from living simply in the pure joy of the present moment.”
scorpio, life could feel really unfulfilling right now in you’re leading with your ego. spirit knows you gain more when you let go. take a good look at what you want in life and how that can hinder/advance your spiritual wellbeing.
― ♐︎: equanimity
“equanimity embodies forging ahead with an unshakeable courage to experience all circumstances that come you way - and without judging them as good or bad, right or wrong, gain or loss - so that you will not be disturbed by your own negative emotions. nothing can then spin you out of your calm centre.”
release judgment and labelling things so much. see beauty in life as we are forever students and learning something new everyday, you aren’t given anything that you can't handle.
― ♑︎: = pure livelihood
“inside each of us, there is a longing to work that helps other experience great happiness and joy, work that builds a better world. consciously choose not to harm others in your work environment and endeavour to find inner joy and job satisfaction in your employment. know that the love you put into your work will inspire personal growth.”
now may be a good time to look at your reasonings behind the work that you do. is it for material wealth, to look good on social media, to stroke our ego? or is because really and truly, it doesn’t feel like work but brings you a scene of peace in your efforts on this world. some food for thought.
― ♒︎: renunciation
"there is great difference between struggling in life and loving life. the practice of renunciation, or voluntarily letting go, will help you end this struggle and make loving life possible. for when you are not struggling, be who you truly are and to everything that you do wholeheartedly.”
is there anything that you can clear out of your life by physical possessions? any thought patterns that aren't healthy but negative in nature about yourself or others? are you fully enjoying life right now?
― ♓︎: patience
“patience is a fine, noble quality. it implies that everything is possible in the timelessness of space and being - and a deep knowingness reminds you that nothing can fail you but your own impatience.”
by being patience about things you helped strengthen a sense that everything will work out. it helps to give you determination and confidence when reaching your goals. impatience will often see one throwing the towel in.
#tarot reading#freetarotreadings#spiritual guidance#tarotscopes#full moon reading#aquarius full moon
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A letter to myself from 2030.
Hey Rim ! Wanna hug ?
It's me ......actually it's you from 2030.l know you've been dreaming of me . So i thought i should write you a letter. I was reading through all my old letters and braindump journals .It made me rethink about my past thoughts and write to you about them
The time you are in and the time I'm writing to you are both important moments of our life .
The year 2030 is the time when we are leading the world and 2020 is the time when we just started our journey. After the covid crisis days were not so good as you've already imagined. But your 'silly "plans helped the people who needed help . Heres a note from one of your writings.
10.06.20
To all the teens who'll be leading the world in upcoming days .look at our future main concerns
*stoping global warming
*giving freedom toall (everyone who has a life ,freedom of speech, lifestyle and everything )
*completing the necessary needs
*fighting future disasters sensebly
*solving problems unitedly .
*empowering huminity and human knowledge
*being a good global citizen .
We have to be the hero of the next
generation.
Our ideas are the root of our life . Trying to understand the future problems and living in your future is
not bad . You like to do things keeping their future in mind . You wanted to build an education system where you create open minded people .
I would love to talk about your ideas
during the covid crisis like street farming ,street education and practical learning . I hope you remember this journal pages ....
16.04.20
Practical learning - giving assignments and research topics during the covid crisis and after the crisis showing the research and assessments .Exams will be taken through activities and practicaly while kids learn something new while giving exams .
And this will be area based .
Like to a remote village maybe clean water is a big issue .
Childrens from that village will work on it .
8.05.20
Street education - using street billboards and ad boards to teach street children and passerby .
Using fun animation and video we can teach them general knowledge and make people aware of certain topics like childmarriege and dowry .
11.06.20
Street farming - using the footover bridges and street dividers to produce free and safe food for the poor ,begger and street people .
So that they can freely eat and cook .
It will also be beneficial for all the natives living there .
Most of your ideas were based on underdeveloped coutries . And I'm really looking forward to your both websites that you are working on . learning and asking questions about anything in their mother tongue gives kids an opportunity to write and ask with freedom and you wanted to make begging a respectful profession .giving a home and shelter . While volunteers will help them and take care of them.
People will be able to donate to their personal account using your website .
Some can get employed too. Nice ideas Rim .
I know its the first pride month you are celebrating and currently you are saving money for building an free open school for poor ,street children and everyone who is curious to learn
But the best thing you learned these days was respecting everyone and trying to keep your feet on their shoes to understand their pain and sufferings .
But the thing you were thinking about on those days was global warming . All of my life I wanted freedom and you wanted to free all animals giving all plants a chance to grow freely even if they were not helpful . Humans are soo selfish that they only spare those lives which benefit them somehow .
To you the new normal was not mask, gloves and social distancing ,you wanted the new normal to let everyone live ,everyone who has a life , give mother nature a chance to heal herself .
One day you wrote that "The covid crisis has taught all of us equally at a time that how we all are connected even if we are separated and how we depend on each other and we should
admire everyone and everything.
If nature is infected nature will cure herself too. Everything is important and being here to teach us something . Even the poisons from the earth has a healing power to save lifes .
Mother nature is teaching us to be humble , respectful to every element of the earth and give equal importance as we have over here .
Just give them the chance to be , to live , breath freely , to learn and seek and teach us . I don't think humans has the right to make laws and specialy making their own " natures law ".
So many wonders got lost before finding them and will never return only because of our foolishness .
Only because they are not helpful they should die , who are we to set this cruel rule ?
Even humans are cruel to other humans . We are treating like enemies more than mother natures childrens . because we are unaware and selfish. Peoples are different because their mindsets and that's the beauty of our nature .There is no one like us and everyone is unique and connecting different perspectives can bring us a change . Physical boundries will be nothing in front of our inner connection . We should build huminity towards humans and all living matters and let everyone bloom in their own light , energy and power to prove everyones inner beauty is in their heart .Knowledge is our power the future is in our hand and we will surely make a change !"
Well dear Rim ,
In your imaginary world you knew that one day the earth will be healed and mother earth didnt let you go. Our c mkther earth is niow healed and healing herself everyday .
On 2030 some fun things happened like reuseable straws and paper clothes became trend people were buying them . We don't cut trees to make furnitures . We are doing upcycling and using alternative options .All animals are freed now only reliable universities has the right to research on animals without keeping them caged.There are some animals getting internet famouse everyday . We have equality and balance in our education any one can learn from anywhere anytime. Education is costfree now and age is just a number . All cuntries are united. There is no fight or war .No one breaks the rule ordoes crime intentionally.
Everyone is respected here no matter what their gender ,age or status is .We are building sustainable houses for everyone using alternative ways and on this process nature is not pollouted. Everyone is earning and
no one is staying unemployed. All professions are equally admired .Self employed people are increasing day by day . Over here we don't have bad people and they are being actually educated . Teaching us life skills while making our minds open and creative . Education is costfree and we are learning to get mastery on them.
In some countries overpopulation was a massive problem but now its not and we also controling our population by supporting one child . What ever that child might be , a life is always special. We have wonderful botanical gardens and reserved seed banks which has so many rare seeds . Internet is now the most safe place and resourcefull place
All the waste is recycled and used as energy .
Spacewaste and e waste are sorted too.
Big countries are helping small countries and now we all are equal and same no big or small.
Mills and factories use green energy to produce theur work and they dont throw waste in the water or soil .
All professions are equally admired and learning and education is free
Now we have a no meat day in every month of the year and it is celebrated the whole world wide.
People now do their chores by themselves and donate their belongings which they no longer need ,no one extra stuff to clutter their home .
Everyone has a place to live a sweet home and a shelter and we dont need fill rivers or cut mountains or clean
forests to build home . Refugees are loved and cared too ,many countries are helping them to survive .
We all truely have a home to live.
There is no cage no zoo but we have virtual zoo and world tour .
Many aninals got mentally sick staying in cage for a long time ,now they allare under good treatment .
keeping pets in cage is also agnist law .You will see " No entry" billboaard in front of many forests and importaant places. Government is helping people when they need . The quantity of doing crime is very less now
There is no injustice . laws are very strict and mandatory. We have reliable snd trustworthy judiciary. I should say there is very less pending cases .
Everyone is working hard to spread positivity .
Government is really concerned about the happinesss of their citizens . People give mental health a big priority. Government encourages to take selftime and selfcare .
We can get safe and healthy food in a very cheap price .
We understand others feelings and respect them .
We use green energies now .
Other energy sources which we used before is now where they belong ,
to the nature . We are researching very hard on various topics nowdays to seek in the beauty and mystery of mother nature .
Our biodiversity is now very increased .
Our homes can now deal with earthquakes and other disasters .
We've build durable dams to stop getting fload and bush fires are also controlled.
We no more make cigarettes or tobacco products.
No one smokes not even vehicles ,mills and factories. No human trafficking and less fishing .
Our youth is so positive nowdays . Youth exchange programmes are increased too . We understand how important staying globally connected is .
Each of the countries has a special bugdet and plan to deal with future diseases and disasters .
We are now shareing our love .working hand in hand .
There us no negetivity and no hatred agnist anyone .
Everyone gets to drink clean water and eat fresh safe food.
We don't
have sewage problems nowdays .
Everything is by design and mother natures order . We dont want to harm our nature and so do our mother nature .
Earth has now chaged a lot we have wonderful seasons and climate .
Whereever I look I see greenery and beauty ,love and peace .
Everyone is working hard to make our world a better place .
We only have one earth and we love her so much , we don't want to leave her or make her unhappy or sick .
We are working thinking about our future and having a sustainable world
You would not believe ! my eyes are now filled with soothing greenery
!
Pond with ducks ,plants, butterflies bees ,dragonflies , grasshoppers everywhere with farmers and villegers .
And there is no pollution , no dirt
literally zero waste . Everything is recycled reuse reduced and upcycled .
We have mighty leaders reliable law and trustworthy government .
At this time the world is so beautiful , everyones heart is so beautiful .its the happiest world ever .
I know its still like a dream to you .
But if i say its true you would ask me who did it ? And my answers is us , all of us everyone unitedly . One by one from various countries bright minds and leaders came up and worked for the change .
You everything you wanted to be. I'm nothing different from you .
I am you and you are still in me.
On this world of 2030 .
Im compltetinng all the dreams that a teenager saw on her 16's. Teacher and connecting with hearts through internet .helping the poor and helpless ,working with the UN , studying in Japan and doing a research .
While your reading even if
you believe in my words the law of attraction will make it true because youve already started working on it .
I wrote this letter for a competition but never end up giving it to someone or somewhere because it became special.
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,,I have nothing left to win, but I want to keep winning." - Nacho Fernandez’s exclusive interview for Summum magazine
Precaved and sincere, a footballer that has spent more time of his life inside than outside of Real Madrid. He perfectly knows that there is life beyond the pitch but does not conceive of a future without being linked to it.
Nacho Fernández (Madrid, 18th of January 1990) says more with his eyes than with words. Reserved and somehow shy, the discretion takes on from his innate character and discipline is his great ally since always.
Proud and extremely polite, the defensor of Real Madrid doesn’t like to describe himself. His life revolves around football, but he knows the need to disconect. He naturally coexists with the pressure and the level of exigency of playing in the elite of football world and although achieve it has not been easy, to maintain it has been even harder. ,,You maintain the level with constancy and hard work. You can’t relax for a single minute, because in this team the competition is very large."
It’s Wednesday and we meet with him at one of the most exclusive hotels in the capital. He arrives just to meet with us, because during the realization of this interview and photo session he is recovering from a left knee injury, that caused him a long absence on the pitch. He hasn’t lost his enthusiasm or desire, although he admits that the defeat is the worst thing that can happen to any player and the biggest obstacle to overcome in his career.
Calm and familiar, Nacho, as he is known, arrived to the club of his life at the end of 2000 and at the age of 29 he has spent more than less of his life in Real Madrid and it takes roots. He is fulfilling what was always his dream since childhood, childhood in which he also learned to live with diabetes. He confesses that Real Madrid has given him the best moments of his life and that as a soccer player he is “lucky to have time to be with his 3 children.” He also attributes the luck of the part of his success of having been at the right time and in the right place. In his father he finds the best advice and the most painful criticism. And he distributes his cares between the fear of the health of his children and the anxiety about losing a match.
Journalist: Let’s start at the beginning, what has changed from the boy, who started playing at the age of 10 to the Nacho we see today?
Nacho: I came to Real Madrid at the age of 10, I’ve been in Madrid all my life. The Nacho of that time and the Nacho of today hasn’t changed at all, since I was a child I’ve always been a person, that my parents have taught me to be. I’ve always tried to maintain the education that they’ve given me, I’m a good person before I’m a footballer and I think that’s important in our time.
J: Two years later, at the age of 12, you are diagnosed with diabetes, what assumed this diagnosis?
N: It was a hard blow, I was a child and they told me that I would never play football again. I remember that I went to the hospital to make a sugar test, at that time I didn't know what it was and I just thought that the next day I had to go to the tournament. I spent the horrbile weekend in the hospital until my endocrine Dr. Ramirez arrived and told me that football was the best thing I could do for this disease and without a doubt, it has been the best cure.
J: How you connect the football and the diabetes? How those two things can coexist?
N: Diabetes is a desease with which you have to live day by day forever, you have to be constatnt, patient and you have to take care of yourself at all times. Food is a fundamental thing and sport is very importnat to help regulate sugar levels. At the beginnin it is all more strict, but after all those years being diabetic I remember it very well, I know what I can eat and what I can’t and occasionally I give myself a whim when I have low sugar.
J: How you take care of yourself?
N: I have a normal diet, a diet that should be used by anyone, a healthy diet low in calories and sugars. Nothing weird or unusual.
J: In 2011 came your debut with the first team and with Mourinho as a coach, how do you remember your first match?
N: Those were unforgettable moments, I had been preparing to fulfill that dream all my life. For the first few days I wasn’t really aware of the magnitude. Once you reach the first team, the difficult thing is not to debut, but to stay in it and make your career long. These were the moments that I will never forget, one of the most important of my career.
J: Is some other day that you keep in mind with special affection?
N: Many. I played the final of Copa del Rey with my brother, also I had the opportunity to play against him. The day we won the Champions League and it coincided with the birth of my son. I’ve had many moments of happinesss, which I’ve been able to live thanks to the luck of having been at Real Madrid.”
J: Now when you started talking about your family, what was it like to grow up in the family of football lovers?
N: It’s complicated and not easy to reach the first league and even more so that two brothers do it, it’s something that we still discuss with my parents and we talk about the luck that we’ve had to have reached the top in our passion. We’ve always taken everything with calm and a kind of normality, we’ve been gradually climbing next categories and when the time has come we’ve been prepared. I think that is what makes us still being at that level and enjoying what we really love.”
J: At home dou you talk about anything other than football?
N: Me with my brother no (laughs). My family is very futbolera. We all love football, even my grandmother. I think it’s normal. With my wife I still haven’t achieved it, she’s not so into it, but eventually she ends up liking it a little.
J: You also have a football academy in your lifelong school, do you consider yourself true to your roots?”
N: I’m happy in Alcalá de Henares. I had the opportunity to leave and at some point we thought about moving, but thinking about it, we have the whole family and all the friends here. So in the end we decided that we will be going to Madrid and coming back equally. As we are comfortable and calm, we have decided to stay.
J: The philosophy of the school is to transmit to the students the same values with which you and your brother came to the elite: effort, sacrifice and respect, what advice do you give to children who come to your academy?
N: I think that the values as sacrifice and effort are obligatory in general, in life, not only in football. I say children that they come here to enjoy this work, I tell them not to be scary or overwhelmed by the future for now and to enjoy football, because this is what they really love; and later in time, everything will come.
J: And talking about children, would you like any of your 3 children to follow your steps and become a footballer?
N: When you are a father it’s something that logically you start thinking about and you say: I hope my son one day can play in Real Madrid, that was the biggest dream of my life. But I won’t be the one who chooses their dreams. When they will grow up, they will set their goals and I will be there always to support them. As a footballer, of course I would love one of them to reach this level in football, but I want them to do what makes them happy.
J: How do you combine football and fatherhood?
N: As footballers we lose most time during the travels, but in the day to day we train in the morning and for the noons I have this luck to spend practically all my time with my children. It’s true that most weekends we’re very busy, but I think that in general as a footballer you have a good life and we can always find time to be with our beloved ones. I’m very happy with the life I have and knowing that I will spend the afternoon with my children is the best thing that can happen to me."
J: Do you like when they come to stadium and support you?
N: Yes, I really like to know that my family is at the stadium, supporting me. Although they don’t go as much as they would like to. But Nachito and Alejandra go with crazy joy to the stadium, so I just love it.
J: Do you care what the media say about you, do you read the press?
N: Before I read it more, I watched more football, I read everything… But once I came to the first team, I realized I stopped doing it. Sometimes you need to disconnect, leave work and devote more time to other things. When you are not in your best moment it’s better not to continue reading, because it’s not easy, so I try to avoid it although today with social networks it is inevitable not to read things.
J: How do can you reach the elite of football?
N: It’s difficult, because you have to be very constant in your work. The most important is the work we do every day and all the sacrifice that it entails. When you fight for something you want to achieve, if you don’t fight for it day by day it’s impossible to reach it. But I also think that like in everything in life, you have to have luck. You have to be in the right place and at the right time. Many things have to come together so that everything goes perfect and that this day of your debut will be perfect, because the competition is huge and you have to be prepared for that.
J: How is it to play football in the best team in the world?
N: It’s difficult, because it’s a very demanding club. Everyday it wants more, more things are requested, in each training, in each game…But at the same time it’s beautiful. I’m lucky that I can enjoy what I like, which is to play football and what’s more to do it in the club of my life. When I was a child I’ve always dreamt of playing in Real Madrid, but I’ve never imagined I could lived all the things I can tell today. I am very grateful.
J: Is it difficult to maintain such level of requirements?
N: ,,This level you can maintain with constancy and hard work. You can’t relax for a single minute, because in this team the competiton is very big. If you do your job well and you’re consistant in it in the end you reap the rewards.
J: As a footballer of Real Madrid you’re always under the pressure, how do you manage it?
N: It’s not easy, you go through good times, but also through other bad times and it’s during those latter moments when you have to be prepared to receive criticsim and reprimends. In those moments in your head the doubts begin and that is when you have to be really strong mentally. Being in Real Madrid is almost even more important to be mentally prepared than physically. Whren you lose it’s not so easy and you have to be always ready for it. In the world of sport in general there’s a little memory, that’s why I think that if you don’t work hard every day and you don’t fight, it’s complicated.
J: What do you think of being considered as one of the most versatile soccer players in history?
N: It’s very important for me. For the coach it’s essential to have players who can play at different positions. I feel better playing as a central, because I think that this is my position, but to be honest, playing football makes me happy and when I do it, the position is less important.
J: Do you count your goales?
N: Yes, I’ve scored 9 with the first team. I’m very happy with it, I think that for a defender it’s quite good. The one scored with National Team I keep in mind as one of the best memories.
J: A reference in the locker room?
N: Sergio Ramos, without any doubt. Maybe because of that versality we were talking about. He knows that he always has been my reference, we’ve always get on very well and we have a very good contact.
J: And a friend?
N: The truth is that I get along very well with everyone, but if I have to say with someone…maybe it’s with Carvajal, I’ve been playing with him for many years. Also with Sergio, with Lucas, with Isco…In our team we’re lucky that there’s a good relation with everyone, but in the end with the Spaniards we stick together more.
J: You’re finishing a degree at INEF, being a footballer you also have time for studying?
N: Yeah, I have only 3 subjects left. Of course there’s time, in my case now with my children maybe there’s a little less time. But before, when I went to college I trained in the morning and later I still had all noon to go to class. If someone doesn’t study, it’s not because of time.
J: What would you do if you weren’t a footballer?
N: Few days ago we were talking about it with my wife. I don’t know what exactly, but surely something related to sports. Maybe it’d be a coach, a physical trainer…I’d be in the football world, that’s for sure, it’s something that was obvious for me since I was a child.
J: How is Nacho off the field?
N: I’m a very calm person. The truth is that off the field all my hobbies are related to sports. I really like go jogging, cycling and ultimately, everything that would make me sweat. When we have days off I take the opportunity to do my crazy things, sport adrenaline is something that I love.
J: Define yourself with 3 adjectives
N: Handsome, tall…(laughs and jokes). I really don’t like to define myself, I’m a normal person, I like being with my people, I’m very calm. When I have to be concentrated I think about things that make me focused and relaxed.
J: Are you narcissistic?
N: Yes, I think that like everyone of us. I like to look good, to feel well-groomed. I’m narcissistic, but within normal.
J: Your image is importnt for you?
N: Yes, of couse it’s important for me. In my bag, in addition to my insulin kit, perfume and hair gel are never lacking.
J: What’s the best advice you’ve been given”
N: Surely it gave me my father. He told me to enjoy every training and to enjoy playing football.
J: Is he your best advisor then?
N: Whenever I play a game the first one I call is him. When I finish a game I know if I know mydelf if I played well or badly, but my father's words are always the ones I like the most or the ones that can hurt me the most. He has never been very demanding with me, but I like him to tell me things, sincerely.
J: What worries you? What scares you?
N: I’m lucky to have a very happy life, but what worries me is that my children one day could fall ill and also in football life losing a game. I have very bad moments when we lose. If when you win the level of adrenaline makes it difficult to fall asleep, when you lose it’s even more complicated.
J: What has been your greatest achievement?
N: The most beautiful thing that could have happened to me in my professional life is to live these years at Real Madrid. We’ve won many titles, so I prefer to stay with this stage, I wouldn’t be able to choose one moment.
J: So we let you choose several moments then…
N: Every title always have something that makes them special and especially when you win them with Real Madrid. If I could choose several moments, I’d tell you about the goal I scored with Spain NT, it was my first goal in the World Cup and with my national team. Also every night of finals of Champions League, we’ve won 4 in last 5 years.
J: Is there something left to win for you?
N: At club level nothing, although with National Team I still feel that there’s few things left. I have nothing more to win, but I want to keep winning.
J: What has been the most difficult part of your career so far?
N: The injuries, without any doubt. This one that I have now and the one I had last year, those are two serious injuries that made me out of the field for quite a long time and I think that no athlete likes to be stopped by injury and even less to me. As soon as I get injured I am already crazy to return as soon as possible.
J: What makes you happy?
N: My family, that they are happy and healthy. And of course also when my club plays well.
J: What’s the biggest luxury whim you could buy?
N: I’m not a person who wastes a lot of money, but I have all the things I want. I'm lucky to have a good house, a good car... without being overly luxurious, but right now I don't need anything else.
J: If you could grant yourself a wish…
N: On a sports level… to score a hat-trick.
J: How do you see the future?
N: I like to live the present. If you’re able to manage all the thing you do well everyday at the same time you prepare your future. I’m always optimistic, I see the future well, becase my is very good.
J: Where do you see yourself in the not so distant future?
N: Surely working at Real Madrid. This club is my home, it’s where I feel very good and I hope to stay connected to it when I leave my sports career.
J: You’ve never thought about leaving?
N: Many summers I've been tempted to leave. In the end of season the transfer windows arrive and although you don’t want offers they reach you, there was a summer that I had more doubts because I didn’t play as much as I wanted, but finally I decided to stay and the best Nacho appeared. The Nacho that played the most amount of games and was the best. It was a very important decision in my career, because I was able to demonstrate how far I could go and that decision was undoubtedly one of the best I have made in my career.
J: What’s the secret of your success?
N: The constancy. Work day by day and don’t give up. You always have to be prepared for when the opportunity comes.
The original interview in spanish you can find here.
#nacho#nacho fernandez#real madrid#interview#maria cortes#alejandra fernandez#mini nacho#nacho fernandez cortes#guille fernandez#guillermo fernandez
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Studious - Part II - College!Sebastian Stan AU
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader.
this is kinda... wow ok its v long. yikesss.
Guest Appearance: Chris Evans, Elizabeth Olsen, Anthony Mackie, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo as the teacher.
Warning: Drinking (responsibly)
Summary: Y/N and Sebastian have a lengthy class together. Y/N is the studious type, Sebastian isn’t. The two form a bond over class notes and projects, and their opposing personalities might fit in together just right.
A/N: AAHH! Here it is! Part two to Studious! You guys really enjoyed it and wanted a part two and I, of course, wanted to write one as well. Hopefully this is good and you guys enjoy it as much as the first one and I’m happy to announce that I planned ahead and might even have a third part planned to end this little impromptu mini series.
Studious tags : @ilovethings-somuch @void-imaginations @redefining-happinesss
PART 1
Y/N your name | Y/L/N your last name.
Much to Y/N’s relief, and quite frankly Sebastian’s as well, she was feeling better and ready to go back to her normal vividly studious self in no time, less than a week even.
Sebastian hadn’t been able to stop by anymore after the day he dropped the Sociology notes over, and the day after that as he promised, so when she walked in through the door the following class, she could hear his surprised clap and sigh of relief as Y/N walked up to their long shared desk.
“Yes!” He slams a hand on the table top, looking up to the ceiling dramatically “Hallelujah” his relieved expression caused her to laugh out loud.
“Well, I’ve been missed” she joked taking a seat next to the blue eyed man.
“My wrist has never been happier to see you” he gives the shy girl a sly smirk. He’d smirked her way a couple times before, and neither one of them she know exactly how to take it, all of them making her a little tingly inside, more than she would ever admit. Sebastian and her caught up on what she had missed, which given Sebastian’s awful note-taking skills was a lot more than she thought and he was blushing in embarrassment. She assured him it was alright, that she would ask Mr. Ruffalo for notes or to email her a resume and work something out, and as the man in question walked into the room, y/n set down her notebook and pen, surprised to see Sebastian do the same.
“What?” he asked confused.
“I’m back, you don’t have to take notes” he only shrugged.
“I’m kinda starting to like it, plus it’s unfair if I just feed off of your notes forever.” The last two classes without her helped him realize just how hard she worked for her notes and all he did was sit and listen and read whatever she allowed him to read. He would pass this subject quite literally on her shoulders, and that was unfair. So he thought it was time to put in, at least, some work.
“That’s okay. I kinda like sharing notes” y/n announced, not leaving him a chance to reply as the teacher started with the day’s introductions. Once more Sebastian only blushed.
The semester seems to fly by in a blink of an eye, and along with it, the friendship between Sebastian and Y/N bloomed. From only talking before class to chatting after it too, and walking down the halls together until one of them reached their following classroom alongside y/n’s friend Elizabeth, had become sort of routine. Sometimes they would be joined by Chris, who they all found out Y/N knew from an elective earlier that school year, and slowly but surely, Y/N and Sebastian were more than just mere classmates.
With the end of the semester came the always hectic finals, and Sebastian knew before she even said it that Y/N had planned ahead weeks and weeks of non-stop studying. He knew her well enough by now to know that most if not all her activities included classes, revising and studying, with the occasional trip to the movie theater or binge watching Netflix documentaries – which in Seb’s mind classified somewhat as studying more often than not – at most.
Ruffalo had been clear, and instead of an exam he was assigning them a project in duos. Y/N chirped up and look into Sebastian’s bright blue eyes with a smile, and, by all means he wasn’t as studious and smart as she was, but she didn’t seem to mind as she poked his shoulder and called him partner, and knowing just how bookish she was, he knew he had to give his 100%, and he wanted to. For her. For the little defenseless ladybug that he had gleefully befriended over the course of the weeks.
He only wanted one little thing before that.
“Come on! It’s going to be fun!” he said, gathering his belongings after Professor Ruffalo wrapped up another lecture. Y/N seemed reluctant. Well that would be an understatement, she had already said no a couple times but Stan wasn’t having it.
“Seb”
“Y/N” he whined, practically begging as he fell into step with her. Elizabeth was nowhere to be found when they walked down the student-littered hallway. His hand reached up to push back stray strands of hair and he scratched his subtle stubble, and when he pulled them back down he took a hold of her heavy books, carrying them for her. She gave him a soft smile but continued to deny his invite. He had asked Y/N to join him the following Saturday and go to a bar close by where one of his friends would perform with his band. He wanted Y/N to let loose a little, have a little fun. He also wanted to see her in another environment that did not include classes and homework and complete and utter stress. He worried she would get sick again with how much she was overworking herself over exams she probably could ace in her sleep.
Before they knew it they had reached her next classroom, but Sebastian wouldn’t let go of her hand, grasping it in a tight hold with his free one. Her notebooks were heavy on his arm as he anticipated her answer after begging once more.
“Fine!” she groaned, what else could she do? Saying no to Sebastian when he was this insistent only meant he would try again and again and again, and so – despite not thinking it was a good idea – she agreed to go. She figured she could come up with something between today and saturday, an excuse not to tag along, but not even her smarts could compete with his charm and – gently put – incessant spirit.
Saturday rolled around and, as he promised, he was by her dorm room at 6:45 pm. The small show wasn’t until around 8, probably even 9, but he hadn’t told her that in hopes that maybe he could take her out to eat before, or they could chat quietly before the whole ordeal started. Well, that was plan B, because plan A certainly included him having to fight her to make her go out in the first place. He knew her patterns already, and if she had any say in it, he was sure she would evade going.
Sebastian quietly thinks to himself that he should play the lottery numbers and make himself a rich man with this luck, because he was 100% right, his suspicions confirmed when Y/N opened her door in comfy wear and not at all looking like someone who had plans to go out.
Sure she looked cute and put together. Pink shorts and hair brushed back to perfection, like he always knew her – except for when she was coughing up a lung last week, voice raspy and tired from her cold – but he gave her a knowing grin when he saw her, as if saying ‘you’re not getting away with this that easily’
“Seb!” she acted surprised, but he was having none of it.
“You ready?” Y/N racked her brain for something to say, whatever excuse she had failed to come up with in the past two days. Deep down a part of her wanted to go, join him for a night out, but the bigger, stronger part of her worried about her chemistry exam a little too much.
Sebastian walked inside her room and she still mumbled, trying to find the perfect excuse, but in the end all she could do was sigh. She couldn’t lie to his piercing blue eyes, and she didn’t have it in her to lie that well that Sebastian would back down.
“I need to study for my chemistry exam, Seb. I can’t” All he did was nod, nonchalant, as if he expected no less. He looked at her desk and saw the scattered cue cards. He pointed to them with an arched eyebrow and she gave him a small smile.
“So, there’s nothing I can do to pull you out of this room then, doll?” The nickname rolled of his tongue easily, too easily, and even he was surprised at his words. Y/N swallowed but tried to keep her composure. Nothing he could do to make her leave the room and stop studying. “I’ll make you a deal” he started with a smirk “I’ll help you revise these for the next–” he flipped his wrist his way to look at his watch. Very early still, he had time. – “for about an hour and a half, and then you’re coming with me to this show. No questions asked”
“But–”
“You said you’d come!” he whined with a chuckle “And, god, you need to take a break! Now, sit down. I’m going to read these and you’re going to get them all right and then we’re going for drinks” and that was his last word.
“Fine. But I have to be back by 10” and he agreed, knowing very well that was not going to happen.
Sebastian read the cue cards to her a total of 3 times. He went through the whole pack with her answering expertly, and when he was done and having no more of it, he walked outside and waited in the hallway until she changed.
When she came out, cute blouse loose and swaying with the motions of her arms, comfy jeans and converse, Sebastian thought he was hallucinating. For starters he didn’t think it would actually work, that she would waltz out of her room all changed and ready for a night out, but then he noticed that she was slipping her keys and cue cards in her purse. He wanted to say something, but opted not to. If this was the only way to get her to join him then so be it. Besides, she’s not going to get much study time in a dive bar, that’s for sure. He gives her a side smirk, the kind that lets her know he noticed and he’s slightly mocking her as he calls a cab.
“Name three noble gases” he says in the confines of the back of a cab.
“Helium, Neon, Krypton”
“You said Krypton last time, give me another one”
“Xenon”
“Good, now please, put those cards down and let’s have fun.” He pays for the short car ride and stumbles outside of the taxi with her in tow, folding the lone cue card in his hand and slipping it in the pocket of his jeans, letting her know that was the last he wanted to hear of chemistry for the night. Y/N rolled her eyes at his childish behavior but continued to walk behind him.
The place was nice. For what she expected of dive bars according to movies and novels, she was waiting for a more rowdy and darker place where she would feel afraid before she could feel out of place, but this wasn’t half bad.
Brick walls, neon signs and rustic decor scattered all around, giving the place a much warmer feel, with a set of metal round stairs that led to an up area Y/N couldn’t see proper, but Sebastian would later on tell her the bathrooms were in that direction. It was brightly lit and filled with students and a couple of older looking people, many faces she had seen littered around campus, and others were total strangers, but the aura of the place was more welcoming than she would have ever thought. Sebastian lead the way as they went deeper inside the joint, over to the far end of the bar, closest to the small stage. For a second Y/N wondered if she even knew how to let loose and have fun, because all her brain could think about was atoms, molecules and chemical solutions, but it all easily moved to the back of her head whenever Sebastian snapped her out of her trance to make her pay attention to her surroundings.
“Relax” he kept saying, as if she needed to be constantly reminded and he could sense her tense up every now and again. She babysat the same drink all night, just a light beer, and kept looking around at all the people, how some danced without a care in the world, how others worried more about finishing their drinks and flirting, and then there was Seb, who only cared about making sure she wasn’t feeling out of place, and that she was having at least a decent time.
When his friends went up on the stage – smoothly introduced as The Wings – they started with a cover of a song Y/N knew the lyrics to, the female singer helping her let go and focus on something other than her discomfort, and Sebastian couldn’t help but smile. This was a more calm Y/N, and he was glad to meet her. He felt as if after all this time he didn’t know Y/N fully, he only knew the driven focused one, not the one that threw her head back laughing or screamed over music to keep a conversation, the one that truly felt warm and alive. She could have been weirded out at first but after the first couple of songs he knew he had accomplished his mission, successfully getting her to take a much needed and deserved break.
He gladly introduced her to the band as they finished their set. His friend – Anthony, he’d said – played drums and the singer – who’s name was Scarlett – gave Sebastian a tight hug upon seeing him. She ruffled his hair and proceeded to kiss Y/N’s cheek as a friendly greeting. Y/N congratulated them on a great set, and couldn’t help but be a little starstruck by the gorgeous redhead in front of her. She had never met someone in a band, much less a band that sounded so cool and seemed to have somewhat of a following – if the screams from the bar-goers weren’t indication enough, the fact that most knew the lyrics to some of the band’s own original songs was enough to prove the point – so to say she was pleasantly surprised to see them and actually meet them, was an understatement.
“You guys sounded so good” she smiled, all her nice teeth on display, causing Seb to smile just as widely behind her.
“Thank you! We’re going to a party in about an hour, you guys up for it?” Anthony said, flipping one of his drumsticks in between two fingers.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun, and we’re playing some more there too” Scarlett raised her eyebrows up and down repeatedly, taking a sip of her drink, trying to encourage them to tag along. Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, the other placed itself securely on Y/N’s lower back. She didn’t flinch of pull away, visibly more relaxed than an hour ago, her beer long gone.
“I think that’s a little too much excitement for tonight for us” he excused the pair swiftly, but promised to make an appearance at their next gig, and he was greatly surprised when Y/N said she would love to tag along for the next one as well. And with that promise on the table they continued to talk and dance and joke around as the band killed time with Seb and their new friend Y/N.
“And Mackie was so drunk!” Sebastian’s laugh was loud and bright as he walked side by side with Y/N, whose snicker mimicked his boisterous one, up the sidewalk on their way back to campus, hands deep inside his jacket pockets, and her fingers played with the tassels on her purse, taking wide steps trying to keep up with his long legs. The distance from the bar back to the dorms wasn’t much and he didn’t want her to sit in a cab only to turn on the lights in the car and read though her notes again as she did on the way over. He wasn’t giving her space to think about class or exams, that was his goal.
They danced around lamp posts and hopped over cracks on the cement path, laughing and telling tales, mostly Sebastian given that Y/N had never been one to go out much, leaving her with little to no stories of drunk friends and loud adventures.
“Admit it” he started after they fell into silence, the wind moving his long-ish hair around and nipping at their rosy smiley cheeks. Y/N looked up to the man, catching his blue eyes staring down at her intensely. “You had fun”
She jokingly pushed him away, not being able to hold in a laugh, but the truth was that she couldn’t even lie to herself, it felt like she didn’t know how to have fun until tonight, and she had lots of it.
“I did” she shrugged lightly, but Sebastian felt accomplished.
“See? And you’re still incredibly prepared for your exams. Nothing wrong with taking small breaks Y/N”
“You’re right. I just… I’ve never really cared for anything else other than studying” her voice was small, almost a whisper as she smiled up at him. The brunette gave her a mocking look, as if saying he didn’t believe it, but the truth was, deep down he did. He wasn’t wrong when he sensed her as a cute defenseless puppy, she was just a very shy and locked up one, and from the looks of it, had been for a long time now, maybe even before high school even.
“You’re just the studious type” he said nonchalant.
“I am, aren’t I” she said a little shy but he assured her there was nothing to feel bad about
“It’s fine.” he poked her shoulder “You just care for A’s and passing classes, and then maybe you can take a break, but as long as there’s something to do, you’re not stopping until it’s done, and that’s remarkable really”
“Maybe… And what are you then? What’s your type?” Sebastian was taken aback by her question. He never saw himself as more of a normal student. He shrugged.
“I don’t know. Just a guy who tries to pass. If I like a class I do good in it, duh, if I don’t then a C- will do” that was a sentence Y/N could not relate to. B’s were a nightmare in her eyes. Truly a mission failed, and she realized that yes, she really was the studious type, but Sebastian didn’t let her feel bad for it for a single second.
As they approached the campus grounds their laughters died down, trying to keep quiet so as to not disturb anyone that could be around, or the people in the first floors of the living buildings they passed.
“Listen,–” Sebastian resumed as they walked down the middle of campus, cutting across the small park that marked the center of the college grounds, on his way to her dorm building. He was dropping her off at her door and he wasn’t taking a no for an answer. – “I know I should care more for my grades and all. I’m the kind of guy that should study more and you… You’re the kind of girl that needs to study a little less” his eyes shone, letting her know he was half joking, half serious, and for the first time since God knows when, Y/N thinks that he’s right, she could use a couple more breaks every once in a while. Sebastian pushed open the glass doors that led to the living area in her building. This was as far as he could make it without earning himself a warning from some Dorm Monitor because guys shouldn’t be around girls dorms at this time.
“I was thinking, what are you doing tomorrow?” Y/N started to panic. There was no way she could do this again tomorrow, or something similar. There would be no more breaks in her study schedule, this one was already enough. She just said she could study less but that didn’t mean she would start right now. It was a slow process, like rehab. Or was he going to ask her out some other way? No, she was not ready for that. Was she?
“Oh god, Seb, no. I had fun, I did, but I can’t postpone studying anymore, I-”
“No no. I was going to say we could go to the library? Get started on Ruffalo’s project?” he smiled at her, seeing her immediately ease up. “We already did tonight my way. Let’s do tomorrow your way, yeah?” the smile on his face was too warm and welcoming for her to bear. He was…
He was just too amazing and Y/N had to admit that even when he insisted – quite a lot – on going out, she never actually felt pressured by him or forced, deep down she wanted to see what all the fuzz in not studying was about because she’s never known anything other than it, and something about him and how he was always gentle with her and caring – the man did drop by her room twice while she was sick, and they weren’t even friends-friends back then – let her know that if she was actually uncomfortable or it was something that she genuinely couldn’t or didn’t want to do, he would stop insisting. So it was safe to say she felt secure with him around, like he knew her boundaries and wanted to push them, but only at a pace she could manage. She was grateful for that.
“Sure. I’ll text you?” and with quick nods they set the plans in stone.
“Great. Well, here you are. Right on curfew” Sebastian joked, trying his best to keep his laughter in a whispery level so that no unwanted attention would be drawn to them.
“It is almost midnight, Sebastian, that is so not curfew” She had noticed the time ages ago, realizing after she found herself singing along to Shape Of You with the rest of the bar at what her phone marked as 10:30 pm that she was not going to make it back to campus on time, and looking over to Sebastian’s smiling face as he screamed the lyrics out of tune, she found herself surprisingly not caring a single bit.
“Hey, every college student has to get in trouble for breaking curfew at least once, that’s like… tradition” his hands were thrown up in a defensive motion, as if saying it wasn’t his fault when it sure as hell was, but Y/N wasn’t about to point any fingers. She hadn’t minded.
As they said their goodbyes and she thanked him once more for the night out Sebastian took a hold of her hand, making her turn to his frame that still stood in the dimly light living area, jacket framing his body perfectly and the lamps just bright enough for her to make out the blue in his eyes as vibrant as ever.
“Promise me you’re going straight to bed, no more revising. You’ve already done enough of that. It’s a miracle you don’t get sick more often, woman” he gave her another eye roll and she giggled.
“Promise” her feet absentmindedly took her closer to him as she pressed a quick peck to his cheek. Sebastian prayed and prayed and prayed that the lights were low enough that she wouldn’t see him turning into an actual tomato.
“Good” he choked out, regaining his composure with a quick shake of his head. His hands pushed his hair back, a nervous habit, and he cleared his throat “Now I need to sneak my way out of here and back to my room without getting caught. I have one too many broken curfew notes on my record”
“Oh my god” Y/N laughed, properly out loud, before trying to contain herself. They were going to get caught if she kept this up “You’re reckless, Stan” she whispered stepping away from him. He took steps backwards towards the glass doors, still focused on her frame as a loving chuckle escaped his lungs.
“You’re cute, Y/L/N”
Seb made it to his dorm like a ninja in the middle of the night, quickly changing out of his jeans, jacket and shirt with the aid of one lamp – he didn’t want to wake Chris up – and staying half dressed, only clad in his boxers and undershirt, deeming that enough to go to sleep, as he folded his clothes to put away. A small piece of paper fell from the folded jeans, slipping out of one of the pockets. Sebastian unfolded the edges and read over the words. He took in Y/N’s pristine handwriting ‘name at least 3 noble gases’. Sebastian chuckled, placing it on top of his desk as he reminisced of the night he had gone through. He found himself smiling, wanting to see more of the relaxed Y/N, finding her equally as endearing as the studious one.
“How was your date” Chris ’s rough, sleep-filled voice startled him. The sheets ruffled as he propped himself on his bed to face his best friend that seemed to be just getting in. With a quick glance he saw the time on the clock. Fifteen past midnight.
“Jeez, Evans. It wasn’t a date” Sebastian rolled his eyes as he let his body flop on his comfy sheets, ready to rest for the night.
“Uh-huh… Why are you smiling like that then” the teasing continued and all Seb could do was groan. After a short silence where he could tell Chris was still staring at the outline of his body across the room and wouldn’t let go of the topic anytime soon, he sighed contently.
“I just am, Chris. I just am”
FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED! AHHHH WHAT DID YOU THINK?! I THINK I’M GIVING THIS A FINAL PART 3 LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT IT!
I no longer write Real People Fiction, and this will not have a part 3, I apologize and hope you understand.
HERES MY ASK
Have a good day lovelies
Smooches,
L xo <3
#college!sebastian#college!au#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x female reader#sebastian stan au#sebstan#sebstan x reader#sebastian stan fic#sebastian stan imagines#marvel#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#itsbuckysworld#studious#part 2#chris evans#elizabeth olsen#mark ruffalo#anthony mackie#scarlett johansson#au#orignal prompt#imagine sebastian stan#sebastian stan fanfic#student!au#student!sebastian#student!reader
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Jordan Belfraud: The Wolf of Fraud Street
by: Roberto H. Reynoso II
In this blog post, I will be giving a movie review on the film entitled “The Wolf of Wall Street” which was directed by Martin Scorsese way back in 2013 and was starred by Leonardo DiCaprio. But before that, allow me to give you a short background and some insights regarding the film.
First of all, the film was actually based off a memoir of the same name which was written by the actual Jordan Belfort himself. Yes, you read that right. This means that most of the events that were shown in the film have actually happened in real life. So, let’s begin.
Wall Street
The film starts with Jordan Belfort starting off his career as a stockbroker in L.F. Rothschild under Mark Hanna, who orients him on how business works in Wall Street. Initially, he thinks that it is possible for both the client and the business to make money at the same. This was disagreed by Mark, saying that all they have to do is “move your client’s money into your pocket.”
Long Island
Unfortunately, things didn’t go well for him in Wall Street and he takes up a job in a small brokerage firm in Long Island which specializes in penny stocks. After learning that he gets to earn 50% commission, he then starts to sell penny stocks to clients at a much higher price. This was made possible through a bunch of lies that fooled the clients into investing.
Stratton Oakmont
His fraud continued on and started to grow. He, together with his other friends, then founded Stratton Oakmont as a way of making it sound more trustworthy to the clients. It didn’t take long until the firm has grown large enough to catch the attention of the FBI.
F.B.I.
Years later, the FBI finally arrest Jordan through the confession of his accomplice, Saurel. At this point, Jordan was offered leniency by the FBI if he agrees to cooperate in ratting out his colleagues, which he does.
Post-Imprisonment
After spending a shorter than expected time in jail, Jordan Belfort is now a changed man who helps other people reach success by giving talks on how to sell effectively.
Now that we have summarized everything that happened in the film, the question is: How was Jordan Belfort as a business leader?
In my opinion, he was both a good and a bad leader for different reasons.
Let’s start with the good traits. I believe that these are some good traits that can be seen in Jordan Belfort but somehow was used in the wrong way.
Passion
- Since the start of the film, we can see how passionate Jordan is with what he is doing. Despite being in very challenging situations, he was very eager to learn and he used everything that he learned in order to continue what he loves doing. This is very important in a business because when you love what you’re doing, it’s going to serve as your drive in achieving more.
Compassion
- Even though Jordan wasn’t as compassionate towards his clients because all he cares about is their money, we can still see that he shows much compassion towards his employees. This can be proven by that time where one of his employees asked for $5,000 in advance for the tuition fee of her son and Jordan gave him $25,000. Compassion leads to better and deeper relationship with one another.
Persuasion
- We can also observe that Jordan is very skilled when it comes to persuasion. He can make you believe everything he says and you’ll think it’s the truth. That’s what happened to most of his clients which led to him being rich. Even though he used his persuasion skills in the wrong way, persuasion is very important in a business because it leads to partnerships and better negotiations within and between businesses.
Influential
- We can also consider Jordan as very influential because his beliefs and actions has inspired a lot of people to do the same. This is proven the huge number of applicants trying to earn a spot in his company. Despite being influential, I don’t think that he is a good kind of influence to the people because of the many wrong things that he does.
Innovative
- Throughout the film, we can see how Jordan is able to work his way to the top. He was an an employee in a small brokerage firm before yet he managed to become a millionaire. In every business, a leader must be innovative because a business without progress will not lead to success.
Second, here are some of the traits that I believe are not good in nature and have led to the mistakes that Jordan committed.
Greed
- I strongly believe that all of Jordan’s mistakes are rooted from his greed. He has been blinded by his extreme desire to become rich and successful that he forgot about his principles. He forgot to think about the consequences of his actions and all he thought about was how to get more money from his clients and to put it into his and the company’s own pockets.
Dishonesty
- Because of the extreme greed that Jordan possessed, it has led him to become desperate which is why he became dishonest both to himself and to the people around him. He started telling lies in order to sell more stocks. Everyone did the same thing as him.
Drug Abuse
- First of all, the drugs that were mentioned in the film were all illegal. Second, he was abusing all the drugs while believing it is helpful for him. In reality, it has deteriorated his health in all aspects.
Sex Addiction
- I think that there is a right time and place for everything but to have sex while in the workplace is not one of them. There was even a scene where prostitutes were invited in their workplace which I believe is very unethical because that is not part of their work as stockbrokers and it is also not good for those prostitutes for the respect is being lost.
All in all, there are really a lot of lessons to learn from watching “The Wolf of Wall Street”. Here is a summary of everything that I’ve realized:
“Easy come, easy go.”
When you work hard for something, it will also be hard to take away from you. However, if you cheat your way to something, it will have a lot of consequences and it won’t lead to the same feeling of success and happinesss.
“Fairness and Justice”
In every business, fairness is need because it promotes good communication and it also entails justice. We need a proper perspective at all times and we should always strive to get the right thing done.
“Equality and Equity”
We aren’t always equal and we have different needs. Therefore, must recognize these so that we can promote fairness among each other.
“Accountability”
We should always be accountable for everything that we do. This involves owning up to our mistakes and doing our best to correct and make amends for them.
“Transparency”
Transparency is not a violation of privacy. What it does is it promotes an avenue for open communication and constructive criticism.
APPLICATION:
“If I were to become a business leader in the future, I would establish my own Code of Conduct and I will strive my best to set a good example not only to my employees but to the rest of the world as well.”
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We’ll always be on your side. Anytime you need anyone to talk or vent to, we’re always here. Don’t think about them or whatever happened, focus on things you truly love instead. You can talk to us whenever you’d like❤️
I kinda wish that was happening for me right now,
It started with my friend posting depressing quotes on her blog about not being loved
I asked her what was wrong and she said she was being annoying, that a lot of things where wrong. Then tells me not to care.
I was frustrated all I do, all I’ve done, is fought to help and be there, I’ve been is help. I get into arguments about me helping because she was always pushing me away. But yesterday I was tired of fighting, of arguing. If she didn’t want me to care and help fine, it is not my job to do this, but I did it because I was her friend.
Then she posts
“ I want to stop loving you the way I do
I want to stop believing you care
I want to stop tricking myself into false sense of calm.
I want to be loved but I just want to run away
Its why I push you away so much
Im tired
Im scared of being hurt and i love you so much
But I also know how replaceable I am. Its why I tell you to stop caring. To hate me
Dont wanna be fooled again. Dont want it. Dont wait”
I was hurt, why didntt she tell me, instead of posting this shit on tumblr and knowing I would see. I confront her and tells me she is tired being hurt by me she tells me to stop pretending
I never did NOT care for her, I loved her to death, she was my best friend, my partner in crime, my reason to laugh and smile. Someone who understood me, and I understood them. At least I thought.
But I was tired, I was hurt, so I said I would leave, because if this is how she sees me and makes me the bad guy why should I stay” In all of our arguments I end up being the bad guy.
She tells me not to leave but TO NOT TO CARE
I fucking cared for you and wouldn’t do anything for her. She said stop caring, fine, you want this but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t tear me up inside because I’m pushed away and isolating myself.
She then says I’m getting more annoyed with her! I truly am not, I wasn’t I just have a harsh tone and I correct her a lot on what she says.
I snap and say its because she is over sensitive and annoying, if i didnt care why did I stay for six fucking years and help you with every break up, hurt comment you mother made, all the 3 am phone calls to talk you out of suicide, to be there when you needed someone.
It hit me then, it was a one sided relationship, it was just me being the friend.
She tells me she didn’t mean to be selfish, but it didnt matter at that point right? We weren’t friends.
And then tells me if that is WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY
IT DOESNT MAKE ME HAPPY NOT AT ALL
BECAUSE YOU ARENT TRYING TO FIGHT FOR ME YOU ARENT TRYING TO MAKE THIS BETTER YOU GAVE UP SO FUCKING EASILY
Because I didn’t matter as much as you said. And that’s the kicker, thats the fucked up part of it all. Because you have claimed if i left it would be better for my happinesss
but it isnt it’s tearing me apart because everytime we had an argument and everytime you told me to leave I stayed and fought for you!
Why didn’t you fight for me? Why didn’t I matter, why tell me lies that I was loved and mattered that you cared about me
when you don’t even stop me when I leave
And then when I say it doesnt make me happy
You say : No , no no you need to be happy
And leave the chat.
And then continue to post things that make her the victim.
I truly am the bad guy, and I don’t matter and you never cared or loved me.
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Tear stained cheeks Those moments when weak... No need for words... For they thems3lves speak Volumes While Such tears stain my cheeks.. Falling vicariously... Filled with meaning... About the things I'm feeling The world has become so ugly I can't believe what I am seeing... As we stand #cheektocheek... 2 LooVers pressed Together Desperately... As they dance through life spinning And traversing all that life brings Stepping vicariously close to the edges When necessary.... Spinning intimately... without regrets Dancing happily...through any stresses Vows made...that God has blessed We MooVe as 1... our Tears have left We stopped crying over spilt milk We stopped putting our love to the test We only cry tears of joy As We #celebratelife ..LooVe and #happinesss #dpomlive #dailyjam #practicesessions #mission #vision #goodkarma #blessed #notap #firsttakes #rawandreal #drummerslife #meditation #relaxation #mentalhealthawareness #emdrtherapy #mentalhealthmatters #ptsd #ptsdawareness #anxiety #anxietyrelief #boom #tiktok #fyp #poet #poetry #speakeasy (at DPomales Creative Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSCLMwnLapU/?utm_medium=tumblr
#cheektocheek#celebratelife#happinesss#dpomlive#dailyjam#practicesessions#mission#vision#goodkarma#blessed#notap#firsttakes#rawandreal#drummerslife#meditation#relaxation#mentalhealthawareness#emdrtherapy#mentalhealthmatters#ptsd#ptsdawareness#anxiety#anxietyrelief#boom#tiktok#fyp#poet#poetry#speakeasy
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[F*ck you Tumblr , it took me forever to type all I wanted to say and you didn’t post my feed !
What is wrong with you !!!!!!!!!!]
Hey ! It’s me . The one who madly loves Charlie . This is the title I need people to confess one day . I mean I don’t know how to say but I madly , terribly , honestly ,... love Charlie .i mean I love him bad. I more than love him . He is my [ I can’t even describe ] .
So let’s start again !
I can say this story which Debb Puth put on Instagram really made my day . I mean I said before that I want Charlie to be happy and really want him to see someone . So I kinda knew who she was but i had a little doubt and now that I see it , I’m so so happy . Cause Charlie is happy .
Damn it I wish Tumblr hadn’t deleted all my diary!
Now I’m tired of typing . But where were we ?
Diana is so sweet and beautiful , I mean she is perfect in my opnion and I can say Charlie really likes her , and low key I might say she likes Charlie too . I don’t really know her but I want to get to know her really soon .
And yess , I’m happy . Cause Charlie means the whole world to me and all I want is Charlie’s happiness . I mean his happinesss.
When he is all ok I’m all ok !
ps: let’s continue in the next blog
@charlieputh
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Don’t hunt to look for the best position you can get, hunt for the best companies that you can work with. You can only find the best chefs in the best companies. Above photo is taken in Tokyo for Kempinski hotels’ sales call with world’s renown F&B choreographer @fabricecanelle and @cpkempinski ’s current one and only Turkish Head Chef @sezaisakuraerdogan in 2003 Alabileceğiniz yüksek pozisyon peşinde koşmaktan çok, en iyi şirketlerde çalışmanın peşinde olun. En iyi ustaları sadece en iyi şirketler çalıştırabilir. Yukarıdaki fotoğraf 2003 yılında Tokyo da ünlü Y&İ kareograf @fabricecanelle ve @cpkempinski Nin şu anki tek Türk aşçıbaşısı @sezaisakuraerdogan ile beraber çekildi. Comment below Yorumlara buyrun 👆Click the link in the bio to join the mail-list to receive more content 👆Daha fazla içerik almak üzere e_posta listesine katılmak için biodaki like tıklayabilirsiniz Tag 🏷 someone who needs to see this message or share and follow @yusufyaran for more. Bu mesajı görmesi gereken birini etiketleyebilir 🏷 ya da paylaşabilirsiniz ve daha fazlası için @yusufyaran I takip edebilirsiniz. #mastermind #happinesss #advices #successs #successtips #inspirational #therichchefpoorchef #quotes #motivation #entrepreneur #powerfulquotes #entrepreneur101 #motivationoftheday #motivationalquotes #inspiration #moneymindset #successquotes #successquote #successminded #successclub #hustlemode #successsecrets #thedoermindset #positivevibes #thechefflow #yusufyaran #food #Chefs #cheflife #coach #ads #marketing #advertisement #coach #foodie (at Tokyo, Japan 日本へようこそ) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3VsVvpJJNq/?igshid=zvtbcc7mjrca
#mastermind#happinesss#advices#successs#successtips#inspirational#therichchefpoorchef#quotes#motivation#entrepreneur#powerfulquotes#entrepreneur101#motivationoftheday#motivationalquotes#inspiration#moneymindset#successquotes#successquote#successminded#successclub#hustlemode#successsecrets#thedoermindset#positivevibes#thechefflow#yusufyaran#food#chefs#cheflife#coach
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Kara Danvers: Maggie you were so right! Legend of Korra is amazing!
Alex Danvers: Eh it's not bad
Maggie Danvers: I am glad you are enjoying it Little Danvers
Kara Danvers: It's so good to see Varick and Zhu Li getting married. They deserve all the happinesss. Oh and Korra and Asami are going on a vacation? Wonderful.They need to relax after everything they have been through. You know I identify so much with Korra and Asami. They are exactly like me and Lena! Seriously it's like Asami was based on Lena's life. In fact I was wondering if I shouldn't invite Lena to a vacation and oh....wait what are they ...? Are Korra and Asami....oh Rao
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