#i need so much therapy oh my god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-am-an-intrusive-thought · 1 year

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the sorting hat, barely touching my head for less than a second: THERAPY THERAPY STRAIGHT TO THERAPY

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cuubism · 2 months

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emotional support part 3 of physical therapy au

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It is not exactly a short walk to Dream's flat, but Hob drops him off at his door anyway. Dream can't remember the last time someone did something like that for him. Took so much time just to make him feel safer.

He should just thank Hob and go in, but instead he hesitates in the entryway. He can't deny how it makes him feel, Hob's kindness, and interest in Dream's art, and then him jumping to Dream's defense so viscerally and unapologetically. Hob is... good. Kind. Dream does not know if he deserves it, but for a moment he allows himself to want it.

"You going to be okay?" Hob asks. His eyes are so kind. And Dream wants. It's been so long since he's wanted.

He leans in to kiss Hob and--

--Hob catches him with a hand against his chest.

Dream jumps back, shame coiling hot in his throat. Even when he thinks someone kind might want him, he is still only misreading--

"Dream," Hob says. His expression is still kind, though his smile is a bit pained. "I can tell you're spiraling, love."

That word again. Why would Hob say it if he does not mean it?

"If I am wholly wrong and you do not feel anything then please just say so," Dream sniffs, trying and failing not to feel completely stupid.

"You're not," Hob says--which catches Dream before he can fall completely into the net of melancholy that had begun to entrap him. "I'm just--" he runs a hand through his hair with a self-deprecating laugh, his general self-assuredness slipping for the first time Dream has seen. "I'm trying to be sensible."

Dream doesn't understand. It's true that Dream is not exactly a sensible choice in partner, that's been proven, but--

"It just doesn't look very good does it?" Hob continues. "Chase off your asshole ex only to come onto you at your own home? That's real respectful, isn't it?"

"I came onto you," Dream points out. Hob wants to be respectful of Dream? The bar is currently low when it comes to respecting Dream. Dream thinks he would rather have the kindness than the respect. "And I do not mind."

"Well, that's the problem, isn't it?" Hob says. "Look, believe it or not, and you'll probably believe it, but I've been widely known to be impulsive as hell. But I still don't want to be the guy jumping on you the moment you get out of a bad relationship."

This... had not truly occurred to Dream. "I do not think you will be like him."

Hob takes his hand then, the bad one, the one he's fixed. He does it carefully. "No, I know. But I'd hazard you didn't think he'd be like that before you got together, either."

"I... suppose not." Hob is different, though. He knows it.

"Let's just finish our work with your hand first, yeah?" Hob says, squeezing his hand lightly. He seems genuine. He does not seem like he is just making up reasons to turn Dream down. "I think you need to get back to some normalcy, and then you'll know for sure if you really want this."

"I do want this," Dream says. He does not want to lose touch with that feeling. Of wanting something for himself.

"Then you'll still feel that way later on, hm?"

Dream can't find fault with his argument. Though he can't help but still feel that little curl of shame. Embarrassment.

Hob raises Dream's hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles. Dream's breath catches.

"Goodnight, Dream," Hob says, letting his hand go again. "I'll see you next week."

And with that, and a smile, he leaves Dream standing in his entryway.

Dream presses his hand to his chest. Perhaps Hob is right. Perhaps he is too... fragile... for this right now. He certainly feels fragile. But Hob makes him feel less so. Not more.

But Hob is not the one who ended up in a relationship with someone who reacted to disappointment by smashing his hand with a hammer. So perhaps Dream should heed his relationship advice, and not his own.

He retreats into his empty flat. Shuts the door, locks it, deadbolts it, and shoves a heavy box of unpacked books in front of it for good measure. Then sits on the floor where there should be a couch and takes out his paints. It still hurts his hand to hold the brush for any length of time. But even to this day, it's the only thing that soothes him.

~~

It's just typical that the time Hob really wants someone is the time he decides he needs to be responsible for once in his life. But he just... he needs time. He needs to know that Dream isn't just... fixating on him because Hob's actually treated him nicely when the last person who cared for him didn't. He doesn't want to do this if Dream is just using him as an emotional rebound from a bad relationship. He's become too enamored with him for that. And he's no king of ideal relationships himself, but he doesn't think it's the best time to be starting a relationship when Dream is still carrying the literal scars of the last one.

Damn if he doesn't regret turning him down, though. Just a little.

He hopes Dream doesn't decide to bail on their regular appointment. In fact, since dropping Dream home, he's been so fixated on the possibility that he fucked it all up that he's stress-cleaned his entire flat. Then he bought finger paints to see for himself how well it works as an exercise. All he's really succeeded in doing is proving that Dream is better at art with one and a half hands than Hob is with two, but maybe it'll make Dream feel better.

He brings his attempt at finger painting to their next appointment. And he's so relieved when Dream does show up. He looks a bit more balanced than he had the other day, too. The hurt in his expression when Hob had turned him down had been painful.

"I decided to try out your exercise," Hob tells him. "To prove to you how well you're doing, if nothing else." He shows him the painting.

And Dream bursts out laughing.

"Hey," Hob protests, but can't stop his smile at the joy on Dream's face. "Don't be mean about it or anything."

"What is this meant to be?" Dream asks, taking the painting and studying it.

"It's a landscape."

Dream turns it ninety degrees. Squints. "Ah, yes, I see that now."

"Well now you're just being a dick about it."

Dream only smiles, then puts the painting away in his bag.

"Oh, you're taking it with you, too?"

"You have mine," says Dream, pointing at the painting of cats that's still propped against the wall by Hob's desk. "So I will put yours on my fridge."

"Oh, great," Hob grumbles. But he can't be upset about the smile on Dream's face.

He's glad to see that putting a pause on things hasn't hurt their developing friendship. If anything it seems better. Perhaps Dream's had time to think things over, too.

"But you see, don't you?" Hob says. "Even while you're recovering, your skills are still way better."

"I... see, yes," Dream agrees, ducking his head. "I. I did try painting again. But it hurts."

Because you're probably overdoing it, Hob thinks. "How's your hand feel now?"

"...Sore," Dream admits.

"Can I see?"

Dream gives him his hand, and Hob feels victorious that it's with less hesitance than he had once done. He starts massaging Dream's palm where it feels the most tense, and watches Dream's wary expression--he must have thought Hob was just going to move his hand this way and that and make it hurt--melt into surprise.

"Do you do this with all of your clients, Hob?" he asks, weakly.

"Only the ones I really like," Hob says, and winks. Can't have Dream thinking he's not interested, after all.

Dream blushes, but lets Hob keep playing with his hand. He really does have such gorgeous hands. If Hob ever runs into that ex again he might have to do more than punch him.

"That helping?" Hob asks, and Dream nods, but he's still blushing so it's somewhat unclear in exactly what manner it's helping.

"Good," Hob says anyway. And finds he's truly hopeful that they'll get there. With Dream's dexterity, with... other things.

It's just going to take a bit of time.

#my brain is somewhere else this week and this is the only thing i feel capable of writing. not even because of fixating on it just because #it's so much simpler than my other fics 😂 this is all I am capable of handling brainpower wise #probably just need more sleep...#also dream in this universe needs sooo much therapy oh my god #dreamling #my writing #physical therapy fic #long post #cw abuse

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haunted-xander · 19 days

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Do you think Saix' emotional co-dependence started as a Nobody or did it start as human Isa and just grew to an unhealthy degree?

#i like to think it started as a human partially bc that would make the most sense to me #(as xemnas/org xiii likes to use its members established weaknesses against them and saix/isas attatchment to axel/lea would be very easy to #manipulate him)#but also it furthers the parallels between saix' jealousy and rikus arc in kh1 #which i think is fun #obviously it wouldnt have been nearly as big a problem back then as it ended up being later on #partially bc isa wouldnt have been manipulated and gaslit so much but also #bc he wouldnt really have any fuel for it like saix got #no super-important super-secret mission they have to do #no forced emotional distance #and the idea of being 'replaced' would have been much more fueled purely by anxiety than any actual possibility of happening #oh and he also would have at least one other friend (subject x)#even if its one he wouldnt be able to talk to all the time #anyway im rambling. saix/isa got fucked up bad and i hope he gets loads of therapy bc god does he need it #isa #saix #lea #axel #leaisa #akusai #it feels kinda wrong to tag their noboy names when its them as a kids #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

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ywpd-translations · 6 months

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Ride 749: The last Straight Road*

(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)

Pag 1

1: I....

3: Imaizumi-san!!

4: Go- good work!!

Good work!!

You were taking a long time for this lap

Pag 2

1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!

Yessir!!

2: It's the tire!!

4: Only tires can get a flat

Ah- damn, yes, that's right

Right!!

6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these

Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them

Pag 3

2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?

Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....

3: You don't want to use the,?

We'll use them, thank you so much!!

4: You saved us, teh....!!

That's true

6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san

Earlier you said that

7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?

Pag 4

1: He retired

Pag 5

1: He's still displayed on the board, but

3: There's still time until midnight

If Sugimoto-kun....

4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!

5: Onoda insisted

6: Re... tired.....

Sugi..... moto-san....

Pag 6

1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated

2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time

4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh

Huh!? That? So at that time-!?

5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things

As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years

6: Soon

Pag 7

1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools

Yeah, there's still 40km

2: If we join our strengths....

Don't cooperate

5: Teh!?

7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends

8: Huh....

Our “buddies” stickers.....!?

You have to fight

Pag 8

1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!

Pag 9

1: Fa.... ight....

2: Against.... Kinaka-kun

3: Against.... Rokudai

4: 35km left!!

Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!

Do your best...!!

5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!

Amazing!

Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?

Pag 10

1: Fight....

2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....

3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!

4: And also

5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!

Pag 11

1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san

But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....

2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?

4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto

5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know

Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other

6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal

7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day

8: So I think we need it

9: Our third year Inter High members

Pag 12

1: Definitely need a “first year”!!

3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be

4: He accepted it, and fought

Pag 13

1: For the fifth place

3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!

That's too much food

4: Danchiku probably understood it, too

That's why he fought with all his strength

6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!

7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength

Pag 14

1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!

2: Straaa-

Pag 15

1: Straight roaaad!!

2: - traight!!

3: …. ngh

Ugh.....

4: Kinaka-kun.....

5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!

Pag 16

1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!

If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!

2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!

To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!

3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!

So, for that....

6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!

Pag 17

1: But, Kinaka-kun....

It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!

4: You knee? It's your knee, right?

Since when? Since a while ago?

5: Since when we were at about 800km

Pag 18

1: It's a race, Rokudai

2: You should have told me, teh

I didn't notice, teh!!

3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....

4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race

6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race

7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore

So, once again...

Pag 19

1: It's a race, Rokudai!!

3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!

I can't, teh

4: Race me, pedal!!

I don't want to, teh....

5: Fight me!!

I won't pedal, teh

Pag 20

1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh

Pag 22

1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 749 #the tags arent enough for the essay i want and need to write about this chapter #most painful chapter but also one of the best chapter of the whole manga imho #IVE BEEN CRYING SINCE YESTRDAY WTF WATANABE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES #YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MY THERAPY NOW #kinaka and roku's relationship is probably the most wholesome in the whole manga i love them so much #and this chap HURT SO BAD OH MY GOD #kinakaaaaa you're so strong for this ;A; the way he didnt want to tell roku about his knee bc he knew that roku would break #the way he even tried to provoke him to push him to race!! and he says he didnt want to lose against him again! but!!#He actually doesnt care about that anymore!!! hes just doing this for rokudai!!!#And rokuuuu!!! baby boy ;A; hes the purest boy ever!!! He didnt want to win like this against kinaka he didnt want to leave him behind ;A;#leave me alone im gonna cry forever ;A; (no actually dont leave me alone keep me company in my suffering plz)#page 21 is forever ingraved in my soul #even tho imaizumi told them not to cooperate in the end they did support each other until the last moment ;A;#(on a lighter not im happy that we finally have a reason for the race btwn sugimoto and danchiku - they both knew the team needed a first #year* so only one of them could be on the team)

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frecklystars · 9 months

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god im so excited for the Barbie movie today. I might be a bit tense while seeing my triggers on screen but honestly I’ve been doing so so so well handling my ptsd the last few weeks and I'm very proud of myself!!!!!

there’s a few triggers I’ve been actively working on reclaiming and I KNOW I’m going to be okay watching the movie bc I am not letting anybody take this from me. I know I’m gonna wanna see it more than once. I even bought myself a cute pink skirt for it ;w;

#I’m gonna wear pink glitter in my hair too for opening night #woof #like i know im gonna be rly tense but i have been doing SO much better than i was just a month ago #if anything ill just be incredibly tense at first. but i genuinely think ill relax more as the movie progresses #bc ive been using grounding techniques for months and ive been working so goddamn hard to reclaim pink #WHICH IS SUCH HUGE PROGRESS FOR ME to think back to january when i couldnt look at pink at ALL #and i think seeing pink literally every single second for 2 hours straight in the barbie movie #is gonna also help my brain be like 'oh hey everything is fine' help it to become desensitized #bc ive been doing exposure therapy and im doing so much better than i was even just one month ago!!!!!!!#barbie is my girlfriend. and ken is my boyfriend. and i have two hands they can hold #god!!! you know how many barbies im gonna kiss!!!!! SO MANY #this is MY movie i have been so fucking excited to see!! its my number one favorite thing ive been looking forward to!!!!#i have wanted to see this! so! fucking! badly! and fuck anybody who tried to ruin that for me #i dont want ptsd to control my life #i feel like im riding a bull and gripping it by the horns while its trying to kick me off while im yelling Not Today Bitch #thats what trying to reclaim triggers feels like #but i can fucking feel it working i can feel myself getting better with some of these triggers i cant believe it #and i think just a year from now most of these triggers wont be severe anymore #which is my goal. i dont even need them to be cured completely i just want to function normally #cannot tell u how fucking unreal it is to have so many triggers that are like. normal everyday stuff #colors. clothes. phrases. transformers. im taking ALL of that shit back #STARTING WITH PINK ONE OF MY FAVORITE GODDAMN COLORS 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#THE EMOJI LOOKS RED ON DESKTOP BUT THAT IS OKAY.

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tollsoftheclockwerkbelle · 4 months

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can we get a movie about tigeress alone and unpack all of that please

#kung fu panda #tigeress #ive been watching the movies again and like #is anybody else bothered about the fact that whenever there are emotional moments with Tigeress there is like. SO MUCH to unpack there #and they just go yup. and don't go back to touch that ever again #um wait! go back! i think we should explore that a little maybe?#like when Tigeress talks about punching the ironwood trees for training and feeling nothing now. but she says it in a way that.... idk.#and Po is like 'WOW THAT IS HARDCORE' and she's just 'Oh. Yeah... I guess so?' like.. babe. Do you need therapy? (the answer is yes btw)#Like. can we please talk about the fact that Po and Tigeress lived the SAME story but Po gets his happy endings and closures and payoffs #and Tigeress has to just... keep existing #until she gets written out of the narrative ig :/#I love Po so much #<3 #but let's get some more love for Tigeress here too oh my god I am begging you please

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callmehere-iwillappear · 1 year

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def Leo drawing the mustache on Donnie and the following breakdown during which Donnie STILL has the mustache on his face help PLEASE

but also I think about Donnie working himself to the bone trying to build a portal machine a lot a lot a lot

(I am also biased oops)

YEAH THE MUSTACHE THING WAS LIKE. part of me was worried it would ruin the mood but he absolutely wouldn't have bothered to wash it off by that point (and once he knows it was Leo who did it he's choosing to not wash it off out of sentimentality but he will NEVER admit this. if anyone asks he just forgot it was there)

and same. same. god. I have so many thoughts abt Donnie's entire [gestures at him post-invasion] and idk how to say half of them coherently but it's just. augh

#ask #dandywonderous #ik its like. My Fic like i literally wrote it but oh my god that boy needs so much therapy #possibly the worst coping mechanisms out of everyone which is SAYING SOMETHING considering the rest of the family lmaOHFDKSLHFKLSDJ #.WAIT FUCK OH MY GOD I LITERALLY JUST NOW REALIZED THE IMPLICATION IS HE WENT TO THE FUCKING #MEMORIAL W THE WHOLE FAMILY ON THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH THE MUSTACHE STILL THERE. HELP HELP HLEP HELP HELP

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eggbabey · 2 years

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HIS REACTION WHEN HE SEES FLAPJACK OH MY GODDDDDDDD

#OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT #HE. HE RECOGNIZES HIM #THATS HIS BROTHERS PALISMAN HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT #HEY THIS EPISODE KILLED ME IM DEAD I AM DECEASED #DID HE JUST CALL HUNTER CALEB????? OH MY GOD????#hunter my beloved u need so much therapy #actually everyone needs therapy these kids need professional help goddamnit #toh spoilers #toh hunter #the owl house #toh #king’s tide #oh egg?

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widevibratobitch · 10 days

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bitches will do anything not to clean their flat. including spiraling into another mental breakdown, reading really mid fics for an anime they've technically never even seen and watching the entirety of fucking hazbin hotel in one sitting.

and at the end of it all they've still got a whole flat to clean.

#ive girlrotted like crazy all day today and it was neither needed nor even enjoyable #horrible horrible fucking day i hate everything #and i hate myself for watching that fucking show because i hated it from the moment i heard about it in the first place #and now that i watched it i can honestly say it slapped and i enjoyed it a lot and i hate that so much lol #im becoming the uncoolest version of myself. first the therapy then all the animanga bullshit and now this??? heaven protect me what next #oh right i know what next. singing the out-of-my-fach rossini tomorrow lol (for the very last time tho god bless)#this year truly is an immense flop era for me

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strikerwott12 · 8 months

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Hello y’all so I finally watched the new My Adventures with Superman episode and uhhh I’m not ok it emotionally destroyed me

#my adventures with superman #my adventures with superman spoilers #striker says #I NEED CLARK TO BE ALRIGHT OH MY GOD #Judging by the promo for the next episode as well he is not doing well at ALL #He needs so much comfort and support and therapy #It’s only been a few episodes and he’s already been through so much

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mormorando · 1 month

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does anybody know how to manage arachnophobia? i'm physically shaking, covered in snot and tears, tired, but unable to go to sleep because i don't know where the spider in my room went

#mine #i ran for the vacuum cleaner but the spider was gone when i came back #and oh my fucjing god i cannot possibly go to sleep #i fucking screamed then i WHIMPERED out of fear just trying to step into my fucking room #i thought since i have the vacuum here anyway now i could just vacuum all under and behind my bed even though it's 2am #but i'm terrified of moving my bed #i imagine some kind of a spider nest or eggs there i'm fucking SHAKING man i don't know how to function i literally need therapy i think #this is UNMANAGEABLE i hate being so terrified i'm still crying and there's NO ONE to help me #in fact i must somehow make it without screaming if i find it again #or it finds me #because my roommate will be angry with me #i just called my father shaking and barely able to speak begging him to come to my place tomorrow and buy me some anti spider spray #or else one of those electrical devices #they scare spiders away #but like i said #i??? really mean it when i say i cried and screamed #now i'm just standing here in the cold room dreading the idea of going to bed because I KNOW if they're coming from somewhere it's THERE #jfc #i have to have my father help me #ohhh my fucking god i think i'll puke.#i literally think i need some anti-phobia therapy honestly #i can't wake up my roommate again i can't #godgodgodgodgodgod #what fucking punishment is this i can't move i am frozen to this spot anyway i move it'll be there #i don't fucking know what terrifies me so fucking much They're just little insects but i'm still frozen in spot nauseous and crying

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asexualdreammorpheus · 2 years

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you'd think the percy jackson trailer would make me excited to watch it but no it just reminded me that actually i hated half of the characters from the book

#i know that annabeth is a popular character but I cannot stand her percy deserves better #he really said annabeth was the most powerful demigod like percy you blew up a volcano nico can command armys of the dead #was she even the most powerful because she is smart? not really everyone demigod in that series is smart #justice for grover though he deserves better #am i going to watch it to see my boy nico? oh yeah absolutely #now that I'm past my im not like other girls phase i can safely say rick did the aphrodite cabin dirty they also deserved better #you know who else deserved better? sally jackson #posideon was still into sally she absolutely should have gotten back together with him and then his wife undersea polycule #i might not watch the series but i will watch the part where sally gets rid of gabe #poseidon really speaks of sally in such a reverent tone he respects her so much and sally gets married and is pregnant again?#absolutely not rick did her dirty sally deserves to have a god in her back pocket #i did hate that some of the demigods got together and the excuse was oh theres no dna so its technically not in*est #come on their 12 and in need of therapy let them not date #the clarisse/silena achilles/patroclus parallels though *chefs kiss*#wow i really got long winded in the tags but you know percy deserves better and so does sally #and percy should unionize the demigods and people should stop being mean to the hades kids #because they are the best and also have the sickest powers hello they can travel through shadows? my anxiety is jealous #i also disliked thalia yet i don't know why #percy nico bianca and thalia should have teamed up and been like see dads it's entirely possible to get on

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bloodcoveredgf · 11 months

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i literally cannot keep living like this

#oh god... having one of those moments.... < guy who knows i will fail time and time again like always bc i am incapable of getting better #with the Current resources and support i have and the state of myself and my life... would not be saying this if it werent true its #bad for me guys and ive been fighting for like 10 years and it just gets worse and ive dug myself into a massive hole its going #to take so much effort and time and help and resources and genuine professionals help to get me out of... and i dont have that right now so #i just rotttt... its awfulll... i need to do better i really do its just extremely hard to take care of myself and to Care about myself #and to get the motivation to push through the pain and stress and agony etc that comes with recovering and trying to get your life together #especially when its just me... and i suck at sticking with that and holding myself accountable and giving a shit about myself #plus i need like. therapy and medication lol #delete later #vent #sorry about venting Just needed to get it out in the tags. damn... i will get through it i will find a way

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harkingspot · 1 year

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jrand: holy matrimony

since i have the unfortunate inability to write a full-on PROPER fanfic. please have this strangely formatted fic thing??? *hands this to you* WEDDING DAY JRAND!!!

(super angst and sad, i mean when is it NEVER)

it was a beautiful day. a beautiful ceremony for two beautiful people. everyone was happy... well not everybody

jr scheimpough was going through a crazy rollercoaster of emotions- he was supposed to be happy, HIS BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING MARRIED!!!

but god why did it hurt so bad??

as everyone started to show up, all he could do was sit down and gaze at his own reflection from the wine he’d been carelessly swishing around

‘this shouldve been my ceremony. this was supposed to be us’ he thought dangerously. this was not the time, his brain scrambled to dig the thoughts deeper down

“have you seen rand anywhere?” snapping back from minutes of zoning out, the question grazed his ear. he was so engulfed in his own sadness he didnt bother to see who’d asked him

all he could think about now was: rand ridley

his best friend, the biggest asshole he’d ever met. it was hard to like him but it was even harder for jr to hate him

charismatic and smart. knew how to slither his way out of problems with his genius. he was someone he’d looked up to for a long time, though he could never admit it

he could never admit anything beyond his “joking-yet-not-joking” hatred towards his friend and partner

‘partner... oh how beautiful it’d be if the word business didn’t accompany it’ jr thought dangerously again.

this wasnt a time to be sad. his best friend was missing at his own wedding and he had to find him. though, in his defence, he’d been trying for years. to find rand ridley

“right yeah, ill go find him” without tearing his gaze away, jr stood up and began walking. mindlessly. he already knew where rand was

he was hiding. no. avoiding the altar

when jr found him, rand was shaking. pacing around. grunting. he’d never been this worried before. not even with the immense load of mistakes he’d made at cognito

he didn’t want to do this. rand ridley didn’t want to get married.

in rand’s mind, it was never about the commitment (though it really is) it was about himself. he’d never liked himself, which to be fair, there’s not many things about him TO like in the first place

“rand, what the hell are you doing?” “i can’t do this jay. im going to fuck this whole thing up. i always do- WHAT IF WE HAD CHILDREN??? I COULD NEVER-”

jr held his hand. tightly. an act of desperation, fearing to let his best friend go- hidden by an intimate gesture

“you can do this. sure you fuck things up a lot but you always find your way, that’s just who you are”

rand ridley didn’t want to get married. no that wasn’t right. rand ridley wanted it, but he wanted it with someone else. his best friend. scheimpough.

but it was too late...

a hug was all he could offer. neither could see it but both men longed for each other and it was written all over their face.

in another time, this could’ve been their own ceremony. where they could invite nobody because nobody mattered. and all they had to do was drink, dance, sing loudly, and just... find comfort in one another.

but it was too late...

the ceremony was undoubtedly beautiful. pictures were taken. tears were shed, out of happiness and regret.

when the reception came, jr couldnt do it anymore. he reached his limits and it was time for him to go.

he delivered his speech, one full of fun anecdotes of their days in college and a few words about how he adored the man. that was the hardest part.

seeing rand be wedded to tamiko wasnt the hardest part for jr. the speech was, as he had to forcibly hold himself back from saying all the wrong things his mind could muster

he had to go and he had to go now. he didnt bother saying goodbye, not even to rand because it wasnt a goodbye- they were still partners remember? they still have time live side by side. just not together

on the drive home, he comforted himself: ‘and as long as the person you love is happy maybe you can be happy later’

the night was rough. jr made sure he didn’t drink too much at the party because he’d expected to drink much more at home. by himself, this time.

hours passed and he drank so much his liver had given up on begging for mercy

and it was that moment when he lied in bed starring at the ceiling, he turned to his phone that’d been blaring with notifications of multiple missed calls and messages from rand

“hey jay where are you?” “where did you go??” “did you go out for a smoke? im near the entrace can you see me?” “hello? jay pick up my call” “did you leave?” the thread of messages said

jr replied, out loud, to himself: “no, rand. you did. you left me” and blacked out

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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haruka watches takane eat like a dog begging because he knows she will leave at least half its food. sorry i wrote a longer post in the tags.

#but im also attached to the idea after getting her body back takane indulges in food a lot more #i think generally she's just so glad to have it back she stops taking it for granted and is like oh my god EATING #but it goes both ways same with sensory issues #takane is extremely touch/eating/sleeping averse #but suddenly gets this rush and is like i need to binge eat and hold hands NOOOOOOW #<- haruka's match made in heaven moments but he's smart enough to see takane's like overindulging and is like Ok. let's take a break💗#takane gets so overwhelmed both negatively and positively like #omg im real!?!?!? AUGGHH to OMG IM REAL YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!#also working on not taking cover as ene bc at first she did and accidently drove itself craz #so shes like trying to work through it WITHOUT having to resort getting out of her body bc no problems are gonna get solved that way #haruka helping her through it all AUUUHCGGH #i have this very particular hc cuddling its basically therapy ok. because its all touchy and it helps her.#as much as it sometimes pains her so it can be both negative and positive #haruka is like :3 but if takane is squirming all uncomfortable he's like do we HAVE to do this youre NOT enjoying it at all and she's like #EUGH DONT TALK I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHING AGAINST ME ITS DISGUSTING #and haruka's like man when you scheduled to cuddle 1 hour a day i wasnt imagining this💔💔💔#BUT WHATEVER HE WANTS TO HELP SO HE HELPS💗 he just doesnt want her to be all uncomfortable but takane understands she needs it #BECAUSE SHE CAN ALSO LOVE IT IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW SHE'S DOING THAT PARTICULAR DAY #and as time goes on its more and more that she enjoys it and tells haruka he can now touch her without having to ask first:3 #i think at first its exclusively takane who begins any sort of physical contact not bc haruka is shy #but bc he doesnt wanna put her in a weird situation if she doesn't wanna be touched he probably only dares to like hold her hand. ñ #which is her sleeve. bc she covers their hands. lol #BUT TAKANE RLY COMES THRU i think they rly talk abt all this and she rly comes to him like hi. u can touch me without asking if u want.#and haruka's like ?? U MEAN I CAN KISS U WITHOUT ASKING??? AND TAKANES LIKE YEAH!!!and haruka's like OH MY GOD!!!!!!!#hey. sorry for being insane. i have very particular headcanons that i need to share i NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME #did anyone read all these damn tags #god idk why i dont write this as the post itself but then i cant go and copy the tags. what a nightmare #kagevinnie #headcanons

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canopicfemme · 2 years

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i am having feelings abt lark and sparrow after the most recent ep

#sparrow’s just scared that his son will grow up just as fucked up as he did #i love them both so much oh my god they need so much therapy #dungeons and daddies #dndads

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