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gorgeouslypink · 8 months

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everything about the void state | vanilla explain's

A few things to note. First of all, Vanilla was a very knowledgeable and supportive master shifter on DRA (a shifting amino community). You can read some of their other posts and you'll understand they really know their stuff and have dedicated a lot of time to understand this. Second, after reading this post, you'll understand why the void state isn't "just a method."

Here is the link to the og post: link

hello and welcome to this post! i am currently fighting against all the misinformation about the void state in this community and of course i had to post a full guide about it! here you'll read what the void is, what it's not, why it's extremely cool and multiple guides how to enter it!

table of content

i. intro

ii. the void

- what is it

- what is it not

- why the void state

- what it "looks like"

iii. how to enter it

- the "before state"

- awake

- sleep

- other ways

- affirmations

iv. q & a

v. outro

i. intro

in this post i talk about everything in context of the void state. i explain in deep detail what it actually is, clear up more misinformation, how to enter it in a lot of different ways, why the void is really nice and useful and in the end even have a q&a for everyone that got questions! you will notice how insane many misinformation are here. not just a few but full "guides" and "explanations" with it. please do not blame the creators for spreading them more! if you thought the same, you also could've been one of the people making posts about it.

ii. the void

let's start with the actual topic. to explain what the void is we have to know what exactly we are at first. so, what are we, what are you? you are an awareness. that means you are a tiny swabble-bubble thingy that experience the multiverse. right now you are on the physical plane so you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. you can do a lot more things but the only important one is that you exist. you have no original appearance or identity (that's another topic) at this moment you are just you. you experience the 3d as y/n y/l/n. there are a few more things of course like your subcons and all that but it is not important for us now.

what is it?

we know that we are an awareness currently on the physical plane. we don't have an original identity we belong to as much as a reality. so what happens if we leave the 3d? is that even possible? yes, yes it is. that is the void state. the void means that you leave the physical plane. that is all. it is nothing special or unusual. the void state is the state of awareness. you, the tiny swabble-bubble thingy, exist there in your purest, most natural form. you could say the void is your home. when you aren't in a reality, you are in the void state. it's where you always return to and there is nothing more natural for you. you are just power, happiness, and peace there. nothing from the 3d can effect you anymore, your mind get's a whole reset. what does that mean? you have to know that you, the awareness, are not meant to doubt, have limited beliefs, worries, fears, trauma. it isn't natural or normal for you. you have them here on the 3d because they are physical circumstances. once you leave the physical plane, it of course means that they don't exist anymore. you enter it and BOOM they get completely erased. you won't even understand how you could believe such stuff after that. as you can see, the void is the state where you exist in your most "original" form, even if you don't have any identity or something like that.

what is it not

this is gonna be a long, long list. i'll actually make bullet points with everything i've ever heard here so you don't have to ask in the comments "someone said it is xy, is that true?". you can be very very sure that everything here in this list got 100% nothing at all to do with the void state. in the end i'll talk about the most drastic thing's but i also explained a lot already in my post about misconceptions.

- "body asleep, mind awake"

- meditation

- dreaming

- sats

- a sleep state

- the god state (mindset definition)

- theta state

- the "before state"

- relaxation

- the thing after you woke up

- being " in your brain"

- any other physical state at all⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⠀ ⁣as you can see, you guys came up with a lot of things! you may already understood, the void means leaving the physical plane, so its being a physical state is absolutely impossible. you do not notice it on the 3d. at all. it is just not possible. many, many ask me "why didn't i shift from the void" but tell me a few sentence later "and i only felt my body a little bit" and i sit there like "okay, i'll start from the very beginning".

so please guys, in the void you leave the physical plane. you have no body. you can't feel anything physical at all. when you "felt your body only a little bit" you weren't even near the void. once you entered it, the physical plane doesn't exist for you anymore. with these very important information we can just ignore 10 things from the list now because we know that they aren't true at all. last but not least "it is the god state". but what is the god state? there are two main definitions here 1. just another term for the void so it's totally okay to say it, but what many here mean is 2. the "god state" mindset. that's a bit tricky, the second meaning is just a mindset. it represents your natural state of mind where you are limitless and powerful. you have it immediately in the void BUT if you have it here on the 3d you are not automatically in the void. you are still on the physical plane. tiny but important difference.

why the void state

you may already thought "damn, that sounds cool" but do you know how cool it actually is? besides that you finally align with your natural state of mind, that the void is pure happiness, peace, and joy, that you can chill there as much as you want, you can also do everything you want!! whatever it is, there are no limits. so here a few things you may don't know you can do:

- change the past

- skip time

- change your whole appearance to your liking

- shift everywhere

- manifest to wake up every night in the void

- manifest the future

- erase things (f.e. racism etc)

- manifest to always shift instantly

- change everything about your life

- manifest to lucid dream every night⠀ ⁣

as you can see, a lot more than many people think of. and the coolest?? it is instantly, in the very moment you want it, 100% reality. in the void the 3d/4d time gap can not exist because you are ABOVE the 3d. in the void you and your subcons work completely together that means that you literally give the commands. what do you have to do for it? want it. you don't even need affirmations or anything. you just want it and it is reality, no other possible outcome. in the void you can not fail, never and with nothing. if you ever thought you were in the void but "didn't shift" this is your clear sign that you were definitely not in the void. you are pure power there, it is impossible for you to fail at anything.

what it "looks like"

a question many, many have! what do you see in the void? actually you see nothing. you have nothing to see, you have no eyes. that's something most people are afraid of, deep, endless black and nothingness. but that's not the whole answer. you can customize your void! you have something called a "mental image". it is a picture you have in your mind and that is what you see. you can change it to your liking, very common here are galaxies. you could compare it to very, very vivid visualization but you don't have to focus on it and it's completely natural. you see whatever you want to see in the void. if you don't want black nothingness, you won't have it. very simple. so please don't be scared!

iii. how to enter it

there are a lot of ways to enter the void! you can basically leave the 3d through everything you want but of course a few things are easier for the mainstream than others. just try what you like and don't think you have to enter it immediately. i always compare it to speaking a language after a long ass break. it's weird and maybe seems hard, but every day you get more confident and notice how easy it is. that's the exact same with the void. everything is progress because every single thing is one step closer to being comfortable.

the "before state"

a term you guys hear extremely often from me. i came up with it because this was also a misinformation. but wait, what is it?? the so called "before state." it describes the time where you, the awareness, get ready to leave the physical plane. it always happens and especially beginner can feel A LOT there. it is the state where you feel like spinning, floating, falling all at once with tingles, dizziness, and confrusion. some time ago people said that this is the void. it is not. that's, as you already know by now, something that happens before you enter the void. many feel it, some do not and that is completely okay. for most people that actually feel it this intense it get's less and less every time they try. like you get more and more used to the idea of the void state, you know? you mostly witness it when you try to enter it awake or through a physical state. if you think you can not stand it, that's okay, you got enough other ways!

awake

made for biginner and everyone else

-before doing anything, ask yourself what you wanna do there? do you wanna chill a bit, manifest something, shift? with the intention or affirmations? if you can answer that you're good to go

-maybe put your phone away really quick to just calm down a bit so you're not full of energy while trying. you could draw something instead?

-lay down in a position where you know that it won't distract you. nothing that hurts or is uncomfortable

-now it helps many (especially when it's your fist attemps) to have a vague "plan". do you wanna visualize? affirm? counting?

-if you wanna relax more you can take a few breaths at the beginning

-after that try to just don't care about your body. don't care about your breath (and DON'T focus on it!!), you can count or start visualizing/affirming till you reach a deep deep relaxed state

-now you'll probably start feeling A LOT. physically and mentally (i don't talk about the itchy-pain feeling, that's just you body). your body will feel like floating, spinning and falling at the same time, you'll be dizzy and "confused". that's okay and totally normal. just stand it, do not fight it*

-if you have trouble affirming while that happen just think about it, it doesn't have to be very specific

-after that you'll feel nothing, absolutely nothing

-then you'll leave the physical plane, you'll just know it because you feel inner peace and happiness and calm

*this is the before state and will most probably get less intense every time you try sleep

you can also enter it with a sleep method! a thing not many people know but that's why we are here, right? just go to bed, now you can do several things

- listen to subliminals

- affirm

- visualize

- have mental conversations about the void

- just set your intention

you can do all, you can do none, just one, whatever you want. it is like the intention for shifting just with the difference that you wanna leavsle the 3d and not change your physical environment. it is the method many people use when they have problems with the before state, don't wanna lay still or have no time for it. you can do it anytime, everywhere. if you focus right now on lucid dreaming? awesome, you can still intend. in fact, the intention is exactly equally progress as when you try it awake. so it's definitely not just a "lazy version"!

other ways

as said, you can leave the physical plane through everything but here are some of your favorites:

- lucid dreaming

you can do it already or practice it right now? awesome! maybe try to enter the void state throught it. once the dream is lucid start to say affirmations, visualize or intend. or whatever you feel called to do

- physical states

you can reach sats easily? the theta state? you meditate or are able to disconnect from your body?use it for the void state if you want. if you can enter one of these and it helps you to disconnect from the physical world, that is really great. do whatever you want to do or ate able to. the same recommended as always, visualization, affirmations, no matter what you like the most

- " is this even real?"

you know the moment when life feels kinda unreal?when you look at the physical world and genuinely question how this can be reality? these are great moments to affirm you are in the void! if it feels unreal, who could proof that you aren't in the void?

- subliminals

got no time or just don't wanna try? there are many good subliminals out there to enter the void state. personally i recommend solars one. just listening to subliminals can also bring you in the void. they send clear commands of what you want to your subconscious mind and it will just say "oh, wanna leave? okay got you sweetie!"

affirmations

- i am pure awareness

- i am pure consciousness

- i am in the void

- i am in the void state

- i leave the physical plane

- i leave the 3d

- i completely disconnect from the 3d

- i can not get influenced by anything physical

- i am just pure awareness

- i have my natural state of mind

- i have my natural power

- i am home

- the void is my home

- i am where i'm supposed to be

- i leave the physical plane behind me

- i leave my body behind me

- i am pure nothing

- i want to leave the physical plane

- i am comfortable with leaving the physical plane

- leaving the physical plane is natural for me

- i am used to leave the physical plane

- i am used to being the void

- the void is my natural place

iv. q & a

just ask anything in the comments and i'll answer it here! or if you want you can take a look at my ask me anything - void state related, there are also a lot different questions!

q: do you feel unconditional love in the void?

a: you could describe it like that. you feel truly happy, at peace, calm, loved, secure, all the positive things you naturally should feel :smile:

q: Hey! Even if I don’t practice it awake and just intent to get into void state and sleep will my body get used to leave the 3D?

a: absolutely!! it's the same amount of progress :smile:

v. outro

this was my post about the void state and the first part of "vanilla explain's" my series where i explain things to you that aren't very common here! if you have wishes and ideas, let me know. please also comment every question you may have about the void state

#void state

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aethelwyneleigh27 · 1 month

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Toothache

How does one go "You're Too Sweet For Me" to "My Baby's Sweet As Can Be"?

Synopsis: Simon Riley finds himself stuck in a situation, growing feelings for his roommate who's so annoyingly caring, domestic, sweet and too good for him. What happens when he let's himself indulge in the sweetness rather than cage himself in the bitter life he's been told is the only one he's deserving of and the only life he's known?

Apologies to this mess of a lyricfic, I couldn't help it even though this was supposed to be a relationship analysis..

MEN WRITTEN BY ANA HUANG ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. Alright back to our original programmed schedule with Hozier. ALSO SURPRISE! THIS CONTAINS 3 HOZIER SONGS as an apology for not posting these past two weeks due to me enjoying holidays, reading, prom dress picking and wanting to stab myself because of life, there's the added bonus 👀

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Also reader in this one had a lot of characterization, she's me fr, so AFAB?Reader, Fem!Reader, Short!Reader, Reader is VERY feminine with fashion, soft-girl-sunshine!Reader and Chubby?Reader. Y'all have no idea how hard it is to write without a personality and physical intimacy in romance, I tried but failed 😭

Warnings and Disclaimers: Mentions and details on sexual content ahead (is this considered smut? Idk anymore). Not detailed smut but vivid memories of sexual intercourse (especially the dialogue) with Simon. Again, this is a safe account for all ages because I'm not a MDNI acc, you are responsible for your own media consumption. DO NOT GO ON MY DMS, INBOX OR REPLY TO MY CONTENT TO TELL ME YOUR AGE. I don't need to know that and let's strive to not make each other uncomfortable. Mentions of questioning of religion or rather belief on afterlife??

Pink, bold and italic: Lyrics

Italic: recalling past events

Little snippet of an image of how I imagined he'd hold you, courtesy of the one and only @ave661

"It can't be said I'm an early bird, it's 10 o'clock before I say a word. Baby, I can never tell, how do you sleep so well?"

Simon Riley was never a man to live the life he was taught to in the military, it was out of habit for him to not leave his room until around noon. Then there was you, his roommate, he didn't exactly calculate how much it would affect his personal life to save money through rent by willingly letting someone within the same living space.

He'd find himself with not even a wink of sleep, hearing your footsteps through the thin walls, hearing the lock on the windows outside click open.

"You kept telling me to live right, to go to bed before the daylight. But then you wake up from the sunrise."

He'd always hear you, quite frankly it was like nagging on the constant.

"Simon you shouldn't do that, you'll hurt yourself"

"Simon please go get some rest"

"Simon.."

He'd swear he'd rip his own ears out every time his name falls from your lips from how sweet and chirpy it sounded and yet deafening silence would consume him whenever you aren't around.

"You don't gotta pretended, Baby, now and then. Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake? Smellin' lika bonfire, lost in the haze?"

Something about you makes it so tempting for Simon to give in, I mean it would be a one time thing, wouldn't it? So soft, so pliant, he set himself up for an addiction. It wasn't healthy, he knew this, he'd convince himself of the fact that he would end up hurting you.

Just too different, it repeated like a mantra in his head. He was bitter, brooding and didn't find any sense of pleasure in living. Why'd you think he has the job he chose? It's all he knew, till you skip your way into his life, giving him the sweetness he was deprived of.

"If you're drunk on life babe, I think it's great. But while in this world, I think I'll take my whiskey neat"

Drowning himself in alcohol, a trait Simon promised himself he wouldn't ever do when he was young, setting his glass down with a small thud from the wooden table. But what would the kid version of him know about life. He didn't have healthier options of coping with what seems to be his dilemma.

But then there you were, sweet little thing coming home at the late hour in that skimpy dress of yours. Revealing too much to the eyes of those who wish to have you for themselves with just one look. Where did you go that night?

"My coffee black in my bed at three, you're too sweet for me"

Desperately trying to keep himself awake and at bay from his thoughts of you. Drowning himself in now two cups of straight black coffee to help him focus.

It was odd, you got used to the scent, was strong with a lack of sweetness but it calmed you down knowing he was around.

How he'd corrupt you, he wanted to shatter that rose tinted glasses of yours to save you from himself because being with him would change you. Selfish but he doesn't want that, you were utter perfection..

Simon further delved into his feelings, what the fuck was wrong with him?

"I aim low. I aim true, and the ground's where I go. I work late where I'm free from the phone and the job gets done"

Grumbling, Simon walks back into the apartment in the middle of the night. You heard a thud, you come out of your bedroom, yawing from you incomplete sleep.

"Si..? Are you hurt? What happened?" You asked in a soft tone, careful not to agitate someone would could possibly be pissed off.

Simon stays silent, glaring at you as his eyes was only thing visible because of his balaclava. Your soft gaze intimidated him, because why would he feel that squeeze in his heart?

"But you worry some, I know but who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate. The rest of you like you're the TSA, I wish I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong..."

The only thing Simon heard was a sigh from you and nothing more, you walk up to him, each footstep feeling louder than that last.

Something Simon didn't expect you to do was wrap you arms around his waist, tiny thing you are that your head only goes up to his chest. Your body against his, basking in the warmth in contrast to the cold weather he had to deal with coming home.

"You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. If you can sit in a barrel maybe I'll wait, until that day.."

You took care of him that night, to his reluctance and stubbornness. Despite refusing, he had no choice, he wouldn't want a soft thing like you on his ear the whole night till he agrees. You were persuasive in your own irritating way.

Sitting on the edge of the tub of the warm bath he's in, washcloth in hand. Touch was so gentle, why was it so soft? Why's it so warm? "It's the water you fucking idiot" his subconscious screaming at him. In denial.

Why is his heart beating so fast..? He wants to stab it to stop the feeling..

"I'd rather take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. You're too sweet for me"

Using both your hands this time around, one gently holding his chin with your fingers while the other wiping away at the eyeblack he had. Every scar on his face felt the graze of your finger.

The slow blinks, your eyes on his. Before any conscious thoughts consume Simon, he lifts his arms from the warm water and wraps them around you.

Your nightgown was now damp but you couldn't care less, now with the man you were pinning over, foreheads against the other.

"Si.." you softly whisper. That nickname will be the death of him, you'll be the death of him. He crashes his lips on yours, not wanting to let go till you both were panting. You were too fucking sweet, your lips, your skin, everything. He wanted a taste and he got it...

"My lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshiped her sooner"

Another sleepless night wasn't uncommon for someone like Simon.. however this aching feeling wasn't, he doesn't know where it's from or what it's about. Not until he heard you in the kitchen, letting out a giggle even though you knew better.

"If the Heavens ever did speak, She's the last true mouthpiece. Every Sunday's getting more bleak. A fresh poison each week "We were born sick"

That sweet fucking voice, like the angels speaking to him themselves. "Oh- I'm sorry Si, did I wake you up?" You asked, turning around to the sound of his footsteps.

That tiny nightdress of yours, a reminder of the night you spent together, that morning you slept in his bed.

Lashes beautifully displayed on the delicate skin of your under eyes. Soft noises while your chest was peacefully moving up and down with every breath.

"She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom". The only Heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well. A, Amen, Amen, Amen"

"Simon.. Ahh~" you moan out softly, your body writhing underneath him. It felt hot, sweaty despite the well ventilated room, so intimate from something that was supposed to be the farthest thing from domestic.

"Shhh, you can take it sunshine.. You don't want the neighbors to hear us, do you?" Simon whispers, callous hand covering your mouth with as little pressure possible, you whimper at his words.

Closing your eyes to lose yourself in the pleasure you've never felt before. Your body being worshiped with gentle hands and soft kisses that leave marks by the very same man who kept distancing himself from you, now he'd stop at nothing for your pleasure.

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life."

"Simon.. no more–" you whined. Scratching his back hard enough to leave marks without being aware, he'd always imagine what those pretty pink nails could do to him.

"Just one more, please sunshine.. you remember our safe word right?" Simon asks for you to nod softly, you didn't have energy to take anymore. "I told you I'll make you feel good, didn't I? So be a good girl for me and take it, hmm?"

Your eyes roll back at his praise, your legs shake with one after another wave of pleasure running through your body. This man was starved.. insatiable.. who would be able to resist such a request? Not you.

"If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight to keep the Goddess on my side. She demands a sacrifice, drain the whole sea, get something shiny"

It took everything in Simon not to worship the ground you walked on that night, he wasn't trying very hard, was he? Because always.. at the end of the night, you're in his bed, his mind, his life.

Was it really a sin? To want something you don't deserve? Simon stayed up that whole night, not a wink of sleep while thinking of whether this arrangement should continue. Every bone and organ in his body telling him to be selfish, take what was something that wasn't his to take.

"Something meaty for the main course, that's a fine looking high horse. What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful that looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work"

Simon's gaze, never faltering on your sleeping figure that he refuses to go anywhere but his own arms. He tries to close his eye to compose himself, free himself from the emotions you emit from him.

His efforts were to no use, all he saw was the image of you, sweetly smiling, those doe eye staring right through his soul.

"No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness, in the soil of that sad earthly scene. Only then I am human, only then I am clean"

You were getting too close for your own good, Simon knew that, he'll be damned if he let's himself hurt you. So he does what any stupid man would do, avoid you like the plague. Did it mean nothing? Were you just some fling, never to be talked about again?

Fuck you Simon Riley, he made you feel loved in bed like no man ever has or ever will, completely ruining your chance of ever thinking of anything else and that was just a hook-up session? Maybe this one time you can let yourself be delusional, was there really something more? Only one way to find out.

"Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen, Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life"

You caught him, fucking finally, after days of waiting and trying to get him at the perfect time. "Si.." you whispered softly, you didn't know where to start. He took a quick glance at you before looking back at what he was doing.

"Simon Riley, don't fucking ignore me. Not after everything that happened those nights" You said, it was stern but he needed to hear it. It made him stop, think about what had happened.

Before he could generate a response, "Why?" You asked. It was a vague question, why was he ignoring you? Why does he feel this way? Why does he love you yet refuse to act on it?

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life.."

"You don't deserve a man like me, you deserve one who is like you, optimistic, sweet, fucking beautiful and alive.. A man who's not damaged, scarred, has blood on his hands and haunted by his past. A man who's not afraid to show his love for you. A man who won't put his burdens on your shoulders and a man who will take care of you instead of the other way around. That's what you deserve and I can't give that"

Everything felt like it came to a stop, were you hearing that right?

"You have no idea how much you contradict yourself, Si. How are you so sure that you haven't given those things to me already? You might not be like me but "like me" isn't what I want.. I want you, every flaw, every beautiful scar. Not once before your silent treatment have you hurt me, it's frustrating yes, but you are worthy of that. Every struggle, frustration and mistake, every bit of your love is worth all of that. I want you to see that Si, your actual true worth rather than what some psychotic fucker decided to torture you with"

"Boys, workin' on empty. Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby, I'm so full of love I could barely eat"

"Si?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"I love you" You whispered after smothering him in a plethora of kisses. Never has anything made Simon melt more in his life than his wife say that. Doesn't matter how long it's been, how much the both of you have been through or how much frustration the both of you were going through..

It will always stay the same, the feeling those three words give him, like the first time, every moment feels that way. Familiar, finally.. Home.

"There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree. 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be, she give me toothaches just from kissin' me"

He always thought about how unfaithfulness was such a struggle between some people, he thought about how good he has it constantly, reflecting back on what he used to have to how now this is something he never thought he'd have or deserve.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

When a man finds himself in the verge of embracing death's arms, what causes the struggle? What causes him to fight that pain, to keep on going? Not once has this crossed Ghost's mind.

No. He's not Ghost, he's Simon. Your Simon.

And you're expecting your Simon home, fuck everything else, he'll give the biggest "fuck you" to death itself and crawl home to you because he'll be damned and he'll experience everything he has in his life over and over again just to hold you again.

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin, I woke with her walls around me. Nothin' in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I thought I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did."

It should matter, the amount of blood on his hands. Not once did you judge him for it, what the fuck was wrong with you? Giving a monster such as him a bath like he was some innocent stray kitten, although this time around it was far more messy. The dried blood caked underneath his finger nails.

Flashing him a tired smile while you wiped off the blood that made the water in the tub a hue of brownish-red. Taking your hand in his, his lips brushing against your knuckles. The way you looked at him was enough to make him cry.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"

"Fucking get up" Simon repeats to himself, "She needs you, she loves you" despite how many times he's convinced himself you didn't due to the voice of his father in his head, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart imagining how it would be for you without him.

How much you cried the night he came home a day later, you told him yourself, practically sobbing while clutching your aching chest and him with your other arm how you weren't ready for Price to show up at your doorsteps holding Simon's belongings.

He won't let that happen.. he can't...

"My babe would never fret none, about what my hands and my body done. If the Lord don't forgive me, I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me"

Simon knew it, no one would ever love him like you do. No one would show him the same acceptance, devotion, care, concern and love. It wasn't healthy to be so attached dependently to someone in love.

He couldn't help it, it felt so right, everything with you did. Never a judgmental one, at least towards him. Always first to hold him, the first to ever take away the heavy guilt that weighed his heart and shoulders down after he'd done something he knows he'll go to hell for, if it's even real

"When I was kissing on my baby and she put her love down soft and sweet In the low lamplight I was free. Heaven and hell were words to me"

Every inch was kissed, not a part wasn't worshiped. "So fuckin' beautiful, so sweet. All for me, hmm?" Simon mumbled against your skin, suckling on the soft sweetness that he so claims. All hickeys, no bruises.

Fuck, he'd not just survive but thrive on just you. No other sustenance, your supple thighs he adores to cover in purple, your neck, your lips and your skin that he often compares to sugar syrup in his head.

"When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her"

The question was, was it worth it to live an eternity of lifetimes filled with suffer to be with you in at least once? The only answer to ever graze Simon Riley's lips was the word "yes", the day that changes is the day that he'd be the biggest bull-shiter the world has ever known.

Simon opened the door to your shared home, "Daddy!" A loud squeal wakes him up from his dread of what he's seen on the field.

"How's my little sunshine been? 'Ave you been good to your momma while I was gone?" Simon asked, carrying the little girl in his arms.

"Yes! Momma said we'd go to the park tomorrow as a reward for me helping out!" Little one saying it so proudly, Simon couldn't help but smile, beaming with pride as his little girl grows up to be what he recognizes as a good person.

"Simon..? You're finally home, I missed you so much" You said, peeking out the laundry room. You walked out, quick to give him a peck on the lips.

"I love you Si.."

"I love you too Sunshine"

Also this is a very long fic.. I expect long feedback.. @connorsui 👀

Does this make sense? Idk anymore it's like almost midnight and I'm running on a few hours of sleep. GOD MY PROM DRESS LOOKS SO GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT.

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thelightdjinnofpalestine @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @fawnchives @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo

Trying out new dividers as well by @anitalenia

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krisp-xyz · 10 months

Text

Was experimenting with halftone effects after watching this video and it almost has spiderverse vibes honestly. I actually learned some neat things about why printers use CMYK instead of just CMY so I thought I'd share !!

So in our optimal little computer space, Cyan (0,255,255), Magenta (255,0,255) and Yellow (255,255,0) all multiplied together gives us a perfect black (0,0,0) Awesome! The issue is that ink colors irl arent exactly perfect like this, and color is a bit more complicated irl compared to how computers represent it, so they aren't the greatest at combining into black if they aren't those perfect CMY values:

Left: CMY

Right: CMYK

(thats not even black, its a dark blue in the original image but dark colors just look so much richer)

An important step to make sure you arent doubling up on the black values though is to divide the image by it's own "value" (the max of all 3 color channels) that way the value is equal to 1 everywhere, and you're letting the black ink take care of the value on its own.

Left: CMY (normalized value)

Middle: K (black)

Right: Combined

Now obviously the grids of dots cant be aligned perfectly with each other because you'd just get a bunch of black dots in unwanted areas, but if the grids are misaligned, then some dots become more prominent than others which tints the whole image. This was an issue because older printing methods didn't have great accuracy and these grids were often misaligned.

The solution was to rotate these grids such that they can move around freely while getting rid of that tint effect if they aren't perfectly aligned :D

(I have no idea how they came up with these angles but that might be something to look into in the future who knows)

SPEAKING OF MISALIGNMENT

I wanted to implement that in my own filter to get some cool effects, and I discovered another reason CMYK is better than CMY for lots of stuff !!

With CMY, you're relying on the combination of 3 color channels to make the color black. This means if you have thin lines or just details in general, misalignment can make those details very fuzzy. Since CMYK uses a single color of ink to handle value, it reduces color fringing and improves clarity a lot even if you have the exact same misalignment as CMY!

Left: CMY

Right: You guessed it! CMYK

(yes these comparisons have the exact same color misalignment, the only difference is using a fourth ink color for black)

ANYWAY I just thought there was a lot of cool information in this tiny little day project, I also just think it looks really neat and wanted to share what I learned :3c

EDITING BECAUSE THERE'S ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO ADD

So, I talked about how to get K in addition to CMY instead of just CMY, but how exactly do you separate CMY from an image in the first place?

Well, CMY is a subtractive color space, meaning the "absence of color" is white, compared to RGB where it's black. This makes sense because ofc ink is printed on white paper. You can use dot product to get the "similarity" between two vectors, and this can be used to separate RGB actually! Using the dot product of a color and red (255,0,0) will give you just the red values of the image. This is cool though because if we get the dot product of our image and the color cyan (0,255,255), we can get the cyan values from our image too! If we first divide our colors by their value to separate the value from them, then separate CMY using those dot product values, and using K for our final black color value, our individual color passes end up looking like this:

While it's called a "subtractive" color space, I find it more intuitive to treat white as the absence of color here, and then multiply all these passes together. It makes it much easier to understand how the colors are combined imo. Notice how cyan is the opposite of red: (255,0,0) vs (0,255,255) and magenta and yellow are the opposites of green and blue respectively! This means you can actually kinda get away with separating the RGB values and just inverting some stuff to optimize this, but this example is much more intuitive and readable so I won't go too deep into that. THANKS FOR READING I know it's a very long post but I hope people find it interesting! I try my best to explain things in a clear and concise way :3

oh thank you I realized I should probably add an eyestrain tag

#halftone #shaders #long post #eyestrain

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reidsaurora · 1 year

Text

"Overnight" ~ S. Reid

Summary: When Spencer offers to clear out a drawer for Y/N in his dresser, it has him explaining some things he'd been hiding from her.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader (i think? i don't remember using pronouns in this lol)

Word Count: 814 why is she so short

Content Warning: allusions to sex but nothing in detail, mild mentions of nudity i guess, this whole fic is basically aftercare lol, lmk if i missed anything!

Genre: Fluff, what else did you expect out of me?

Extra Notes: i truly meant for this to be posted on time, i'm so sorry guys

Based On the Prompt: "The Things In That Drawer" from this year's @domaystic prompts

Originally Written: 05/08/2023

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold (i love you literally so much)

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Nothing could get Spencer Reid in a sappy mood like a night of slow, passionate sex. Something about moments like these—the way he showered you in kisses, the sweet compliments he'd give you, the love he'd show you—just felt right. Like his embrace was exactly where you needed to be.

Spencer's hand settled on the soft skin of your hip, drawing various shapes with his fingertips. Your head rested against his chest, your hand moving up to his tummy. He placed a soft kiss on your hair, the scruff of his five-o'clock shadow scratching against your forehead lightly. "I love nights like this," he told you.

You craned your head to face him, kissing his cheek. "I do too. I just hate that it always ends so quickly," you said, thinking about the work nights where you had to head home early, not quite ready for the night to end but knowing that you needed to go home for a change of clothes.

"You know," he said, pausing to flip the two of you over, his body hovering over you, "I could always clear a couple drawers out for you."

Your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. You'd been hinting at the idea for a while, lamenting about needing fresh panties or complaining about missing your skincare regimen. But Spencer hadn't seemed quite ready to take that step yet, so you didn't pressure him.

"Wait, are you serious?"

He nodded, bending down to kiss you on the lips this time. "I'll even let you pick out which one you want."

You practically pushed him into the floor as you jumped up. Spencer chuckled as you ran over to the dresser, pulling his boxers back on.

You pulled out the second drawer, where you knew his tee shirts were, grabbed one of his giant ones and tossed it on. "Any of them?"

"Mhm," he hummed, walking over and settling his hands on your waist. "Whichever one you want."

You considered it, eventually deciding on the bottom drawer. "What about-"

"Wait, Y/N, don't-" he shouted, reaching out to stop your hand.

He was too late, though. You pulled open the drawer, revealing an entire drawer of nerdy memorabilia. The lightsaber was the first thing that caught your eye, followed by a sonic screwdriver, and a couple geeky Pop Figures, among other things.

"You have a lightsaber," you examined.

Spencer scratched awkwardly at his neck. "Yeah, I guess I do."

You grabbed the lightsaber from the drawer, your face lighting up as you turned it on. "You have a lightsaber!"

He chuckled as you poked him in the ribs with the lightsaber. "You're having too much fun with this."

You set the lightsaber down on top of the dresser, turning back to the drawer. Next, you pulled out the infamous Jason Voorhees mask, holding it in front of your face. "Please tell me you've scared your coworkers with this."

Spencer let out another chuckle, taking the mask from your hands. "I got Morgan with it one time. He nearly choked on his coffee."

You continued snooping through the drawers, sifting through Polaroids of Spencer and his friend Penelope at various conventions, some D.C. comics, and a couple signed posters. Your heart nearly flipped when you spotted a picture of him dressed as the Joker. "Who did your face paint?"

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

A squeal escaped your lips as you threw your arms over his shoulders. "Spence, this is adorable! Why would you hide this from me?"

He sighed, somewhere between relieved and exasperated. "I didn't want you to think I was weird. I mean, I'm a grown man and I have a collection of legos and Batman comics?"

"Spencer, I think it's cute that you have something you love so much. You don't have to be afraid to show how much you love and support it."

He bent forward to kiss you again, pulling your body flush against his. "You really mean that?"

"I mean, any man that has the balls to wear makeup like that in public is sexy in my book," you kidded.

Spencer diverted your attention back to the drawer, pointing his chin toward the dresser. "Is that really the drawer you want?"

"Does it come with all the nerdy memorabilia?" you teased, poking his chest.

"In your dreams. I spent good money on those things." He rolled his eyes, leading you to the bathroom. His hands were warm and big on your bare skin, the feeling absolutely heavenly. He placed a trail of kisses along your shoulder up to your head before hooking his chin over your shoulder.

You lifted your head to face him, kissing his jaw. "Hey, does this mean we can go as the Joker and Harley Quinn for Halloween?"

"You know what? I think that might just be something out of my dreams."

-> taglist: @lowsodiumfreaks67 @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @kbakery @leigh70 @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @esposadomd @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @lunar-affection @givemeth @lavhoes @rhyanishere @cat-lockwood @danielle143 @marsmallow433 @handsupforamiracle @topguncultleader @mente-sindescanso @reverieofmgg @spencer-reids-adventures @ah-blossom @encyclo-reid-ia @reidselle @thevisionthedream @dungeons-are-too-cold @wwwonzeee @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @annahalstead5021 @cwritesforfun @soapiebear @maelartasch @buckyyyismahhlife @cynbx @hellooitsrose

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myheroblogs · 6 months

Text

Yoichi and All For One are IDENTICAL TWINS (and what it means...)

Okay, I know this acc has kinda been dead for over a year or two by now and I haven't exactly caught up with MHA, I only started reading the last 3-4 chapters, and I wasn't planning to revive this acc after being inactive for so long, but I discovered something that I CAN'T keep quiet about.

In the newest chapter, further detail on Yoichi and AFO's backstory is revealed (Yes! The chapter I've been waiting for!), and surprisingly, AFO and Yoichi are TWINS! I think very few people really thought of the concept, so it was unexpected in general.

I assumed they're fraternal twins, because while they're twins, the anime showed them having different eye colors... (Yoichi has green eyes and AFO has red eyes)

...Until I realised that isn't actually possible.

Because TTTS (twin to twin transfusion), can only occur in IDENTICAL TWINS.

In other words, yes, Yoichi and AFO aren't just twins, they're IDENTICAL TWINS. Anime may be wrong about eye colors again (like how they were for Iida's).

And while it's both unexpected and funny to think about all this (I mean, c'mon, that means Yoichi could've had the exact same face as his brother-), a lot of people may have missed the very BIG implication that this has.

Remember, identical twins share the exact same genetic makeup. After all, they are basically what should've been one person but got split into two somewhere in the early process.

But aren't y'all forgetting...

...that QUIRKS are also genetic?

If AFO and Yoichi are identical twins the entire time, with the EXACT SAME GENETICS, then that would mean that the quirks they have, would be identical as well. Because quirks are also genetic.

All For One and One For All are the SAME QUIRK by nature.

You may be wondering, "if they're the same quirk, why do they seem to function differently?" Yes, OFA can pass itself on, AFO can't, etc.

Well, while they are identical twins, they did suffer through TTTS, with Yoichi as the donor twin.

This probably messed a lot with Yoichi's development, and thus, his quirk. After all, while identical twins, are well, identical, a lot of factors can change how their genetics are expressed (some are expressed more than others). TTTS would've been a big one for AFO and Yoichi.

Notice when looking at OFA's functions (minus the stockpile), it's a significantly weaker version of AFO? AFO can just take and give through close contact with another person. For the transfer to even work for Yoichi, he has to transfer through DNA (blood, or eating hair??), and the only way it can even store quirks if said person inherited the quirk and passed it on like hot potato. I wouldn't even be surprised if Yoichi's quirk could only story a certain number of quirks.

The functions of Yoichi's original quirk got so messed up, it had to evolve into being able to pass itself on for it to even function itself. So much so that literally no one realised he had a quirk, maybe even Yoichi himself until after his death.(Im in the camp that Yoichi died passing on the quirk and it was Kudou who discovered the transfer ability and made the plan to defeat AFO)

So yeah, Bakugo was correct about OFA being the same as AFO all along. Except he was wrong about it being due to AFO creating OFA. It's actually because the original quirk holders were identical twins, meaning the quirks they have would also be identical. But things happened, which caused the quirks to work differently from each other.

EDIT: As another addition to this post, this also explains why OFA and AFO are so intricately linked, that the two users can start seeing into the other's vestige realm. To the point that when they both come into contact, it merges their vestige plains into one. Or perhaps, it's actually two quirks temporarily merging into one.

Since identical twins are basically one split into two, then two identical quirks having contact with each other is the same as two merging back into one again.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #shigaraki yoichi #all for one #one for all #afo #ofa #mha 407 #bnha 407 #bnha manga #mha manga #can't believe no one actually realised this #even I missed it till now

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ihavethedreamies · 2 months

Text

Pool Boy (3) | Soobin

Choi Soobin - TXT

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~4.4k >_>

Pairing: Soobin x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Porn with very little Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Small Age Difference (Unspecified, he calls her Noona), Pet Names (Sweet, Noona, etc.), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! and M! Receiving), Deepthroating/Face-Fucking, Spanking, Big Dick! Soobin, Cockbulge (slightly), Semi-Public Sex (at work but no one else is there), Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! She's on the pill)

Summary: Soobin finds you cleaning the bathroom after everyone leaves the pool at night then utterly destroys you in the best way possible.

Author's Note: This originally was going to be part of a really long series with a lot of plot, but it was taking too long and I was putting too much plot, more than I had initially planned. Because of that, I cut nearly all plot out and it's still four-thousands words of just fucking so…

Also…this was a dream I had…This whole series has been somewhat, but this is the only part that is straight from the dream, the others I got more specific because I don't remember the details as well as this.

Disclaimer: I do have the whole cock-bulge thing in this. I understand this could be a bit offensive to some who are on the heavier side (I am in that group as well). I also have the reader being pretty short even though I am 5'7". The reason being is I have a size difference kink/fetish, mostly because I am not small, and so I put it into a lot of my stories. Sorry if this doesn't align with your body type, but I also imagine a character in my place for these, so I don't sometimes take into account what others do.

None of the parts are reliant on the others, there is just a version for each boy.

-> Yeonjun <-

-> Taehyun <-

-> Hueningkai <-

-> Beomgyu <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

"Hey, why don't you come hang out with us?" A girl came up to Soobin where he sat at the bar. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and you noticed he stiffened, and you watched closely what she did next.

"No, sorry, I'm working." He tried to shrug her hand off, but she just wrapped both around his bicep instead.

"You don't have to drink~" You glared at where she was holding him. You had no right really to be jealous, you two were just friends who flirted…a lot.

"I would really rather not." He was being polite, but you could see he was uncomfortable.

"Please?" She cooed, batting her eyelashes and you rolled your eyes. She caught it and scoffed.

"You should get that cough checked out." You shot at her, and Soobin turned his head to cover his smirk. She sneered harder and you could tell she thought she was prettier than you just because her tits were nearly popping out of her bikini top, and she had her hair dyed blonde.

"What, you aren't his girlfriend." The girl mocked, like she would know that anyway.

"Why do you think that?"

"One of you would have said something."

"Well, unfortunately for you, tonight I get to get railed by him and you don't." you whispered to her, and she huffed in disbelief, offended.

"Oh yeah, you really think I believe that?" You weren't sure if Soobin had heard your comment to her or not.

"She's not my girlfriend, but that's just for now." Soobin gave you a look, much more fire there than you had seen in his eyes before. This tipped her over the edge, and she stormed away. You were left to yourselves that time and you both chuckled.

"I get to rail you, huh?" His voice was confident, and his stare was sharp, it made your cunt pulse.

"Oh, I uh…" You gave him a coquettish look.

"If I get permission." He smirked and you huffed.

You continued to run the drink bar and Soobin had come around to help at the snack bar and so you weren't able to continue flirting much. As it was getting to be time for people to leave, you heard a loud engine coming and saw a bus come to pick up the group renting the pool that night.

"Did anyone throw up?" you asked a girl as she slumped into a chair at the bar.

"No, thank the Lord. Do we have to clean?"

"Not really. I'll check stuff over, but the professional cleaners come every Sunday, so they can do it." you told her, and she sighed in relief. The rest of the workers did some basic cleanup, and you went to check the restrooms. They were surprisingly clean, and you were told the boys’ was clean as well. That was even more shocking, but you were grateful. The only thing you had noticed was in one of the private solo bathrooms, there was some blood in the sink. Now that you saw it you remembered seeing a girl had gotten a nosebleed, so you assumed that was the cause. Heading back into the shelter, you went to the back room to get some cleaner and waved as most of the employees left for the night. As you were cleaning, you left the door propped open and you heard someone in the distance.

"I think she is cleaning in one of the bathrooms!" They answered another's question and then you heard then louder as they passed the door.

"She's in this one!" A guy shouted and then you heard the gate open and close as he left. You assumed he was talking to Soobin since he was the last one to leave. Not paying too much attention as you scrubbed and disinfected, the door slid all the way open and you heard the wooden door stop scramble across the tiled floor, the door then thumping shut. Out of your periphery you saw Soobin come up behind you in the mirror. You were curious what he was going to do. You slowed your task down to give him more time and you glanced up, eyes meeting through the reflection.

"What can I do?" he asked, and you knew he wasn't trying to help clean.

"How about whatever you want, and I'll stop you if I don't agree?" You suggested turning the faucet on so you could rinse out the magic sponge you were using. Soobin huffed in amusement, "Hope you can keep up. I don't get tired easily…" and you furrowed your brow when he slinked out of sight behind you.

You caught yourself on the counter in shock when you felt his big hands on your hips, his thumbs hooking into your belt loops.

"S-Soobin?"

"This okay?"

"Y-yes." You weren’t sure what he was planning but you had an idea. Since your shorts were so tight and it was so hot, you had foregone any underwear that day.

"You smell good, noona." He muttered and you yelped when he buried his face into your denim covered cunt. You sighed when his tongue ran over the fabric and you were sure that despite the thick material, you were probably soaking through it. Then, something hit you. Yes you had showered after, but…

"S-Soobin, I uh…" You heard him shuffle on the floor and he kissed your lower back above the hem of your shorts, your top had risen up as you leaned forward.

"Wearing panties?" He guessed; his tone amused.

"No…just shorts. It's because it's hot and they're tight-!"

"They're coming off." he announced and reached around to unbutton your jeans, his nose burying back into your cunt. You whimpered as he removed your shorts, and he sat back so he could pull them off your legs and you slipped your sandals off as well.

"So wet, sweet girl." Soobin cooed, his thumb stroking through your folds.

"Soobin~" You keened, your fingers trying to dig into the hard countertop. You heard him chuckle and his other thumb came up as well and he spread your pussy open. Your face heated, embarrassed to be stared at like that. Your hips bumped into the counter hard when you jolted forward, his tongue had flicked at your clit. Soobin groaned and licked up from your still swollen clit to your quivering entrance and went to town. His tongue was long like the rest of him, and it went way farther into your cunt that you thought it would. You whined; his pace didn't allow you a second of reprieve.

"Ah!" You yelped, slamming your hand over your mouth when the noise echoed around the restroom. You knew that no one else was there, but it was still loud. His arms had wrapped around your thighs, holding your soaking cunt to his face as he drank from you. Grateful for his arms, your legs weakened and quivered from his actions. Your moans increased in pitch as your orgasm got closer and you fell over the edge as he filled you with his long finger and sucked hard on your clit.

"Fuck~!" You moaned long and high as you came, and he sucked up every drop that fell from your cunt. When your walls had stopped clenching his finger, he finally pulled away and you slumped onto your arms on the counter, gasping for breath. You watched him in the mirror as he stood, licking your juices from his fingers like it was ice cream that had dripped onto his hand.

"You are so fucking delicious." He murmured low and you gaped at him over your shoulder. As you recovered, you watched with rapt attention as he removed his gray striped t-shirt and let it fall to the floor. He was beautiful. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, long legs. When you got to his red trunks, you saw the tent his hard on was setting and you nearly choked. He was hung like a horse, his friends were right, and you still hadn't seen his dick out yet. Time slowed down, and your mouth watered as you watched him finally remove his last garment.

"Oh, my, god." You moaned and he huffed, a smug look on his face.

"Wanna taste?" he asked, and you nodded aggressively. He tilted his head, and you scrambled off the counter and onto your knees in front of him. Soobin thought you looked like a puppy begging for a treat.

"Well, come here then." He stroked his big hand over his big cock, and you scooched forward on your knees over the cool tile. With a whine, you licked the drop of precum from his tip and you whimpered, taking the head in your mouth. He sighed at the feeling and your jaw hurt from the stretch, but GAWD was it worth it. As you took him in deeper, he wasn't even halfway in your mouth when he hit the back of your mouth. Swallowing a few times, you took him deeper, and his rumbling groan echoed off the tile walls. After his whole cock was buried in your throat, you gagged a few times despite your practiced control. He was going to split you in half. Beginning to move your head, you wrapped your hand around the base so you could stroke over the part of him your mouth couldn't hold. Every so often, you would swallow and let him cut your air off, your nose hitting his pelvis. The feeling of your breathing being restricted made your head swim for several reasons and as you sucked and licked over him, drool splattered on the floor and down your face. You looked like an absolute mess, and it was driving him nuts. In your head you marveled at the fact that he was lasting so long. If his stamina was already to this extent, you were in for a long night. It was to the point that your arm was getting tired from holding it up and your neck hurt too. You shot him a look, and he grunted at that, and you felt his cock finally twitch.

"What is it, sweet girl? Want me to take over?" He stroked your hair and you nodded, his cock still sitting in your mouth.

"Okay, sweet." He straightened up from where he was leaning back into the wall, and you let your arm fall so you could steady yourself on the floor. Your pussy clenched around nothing, and his long fingers dug into your hair at the top of your braid.

"Hit my leg if you need me to stop. I'll go deep every five thrusts, 'kay?" He informed you and you nodded. Was he planning this, thinking over how to do it? Fuck…

Preparing, you inhaled deeply through your nose, and he snapped his hips. The fat head hitting the back your mouth made you gag, but your eyes rolled back as you closed them, reveling in the sensation. True to his word, he filled your throat every five thrusts then kept going. Your breathing was harsh, not only trying to take in enough air, but also getting extremely turned on. Your bare cunt was sliding over the puddle you were leaving on the tile, the cold friction was getting you close.

"Fuck, (Y/N), I'm gonna cum," He whined, and you moaned in response, and he made a choking sound.

"Shit." He gasped, throwing his head back and he pressed on your head, so he was all the way in your mouth and came. You swallowed, gagging slightly, it felt like his cock was a hose with how much hot, sticky cum he was pumping down your throat. Tears slipped down your cheeks, your vision blurring from lack of air, but your pussy was throbbing. Waves of pleasure crashed through you as you came all over the floor. Finally, as you were getting lightheaded, he finally let your head go and pulled out, and you sucked in air harshly, a trail of drool and cum leaking down your face and onto your shirt. You thought at least his cock would have softened some, but no, he was still standing proud before you, the same mix on your face dripping off his cock. You swallowed one more time to get the rest down and he panted as you took your shirt off, then your bra, finally fully naked.

"You'll have to clean the floor," He smirked, nodding at the puddle you left as you stood up. You wobbled some and he reached forward to steady you and he led you closer to him and he smiled down at you.

"You did so good, sweet girl." He nuzzled the top of your head, and you took the chance to run your fingers over his bare torso. Soobin's cock pressed against your stomach and you both moaned softly as you peered up at him with wide eyes.

"Where you wanna fuck me, Binnie?" Your voice wavered, higher than normal and with a slight whine to it. He wondered how far gone you were, how cock drunk, and how much farther you would go. He didn't particularly want to fuck you in the bathroom, he wasn't sure where to do so though. The thought of doing it on one of the lounge chairs around the pool sounded nice, but risky. The fence surrounding the pool was tall but more or less open for everyone to see, even at the late hour. There was the couch in the back office, but that would be hard to clean…Then he got an idea.

"Come with me." He grabbed your hand to lead you, and he peered around the doorway of the bathroom to make sure no one would see as you passed the entrance gate. You both dashed into the shelter, and he told you to stand and wait while he grabbed some towels from the shelves. He laid five of them down over each other to make a much softer surface and it would make cleaning up easier as well.

"Over here, sweet." He motioned you over and he softly pulled you down to him and he sat on the towels letting you sit on his lap, straddling him. Soobin's cock nestled against your ass, your hands on his shoulders, and you were eye level with him like this. He placed a quick kiss on your lips, and you realized he hadn't kissed you yet. Whining, you brought his lips back to yours and it instantly got deeper as your tongues met. Pulling back shortly for air, you both dipped back in, and his hands went to your hips to maneuver you. He had you prop yourself up higher, the head of his cock nestled into your dripping folds.

"Ready?" He asked and you nodded, your kisses moving from his mouth to his jaw and down his neck. He pressed on your waist, and you started to sink down on him, and you gasped. He sure was going to split you in half. You threw your head back at the sensation, despite cumming twice and dripping like a faucet, the stretch burned.

"Breathe." He coached you, helping you take more even breaths as he filled you. Finally, his cock bumped your cervix, but there was still nearly an inch of him left. You wanted him in you completely, feel his groin touch your clit.

"M-more." You keened and he grunted, wrapping his arms around you to hold you in place. Your breath hitched each time he pulled out slightly, each thrust getting him deeper just a bit more till he was completely inside. You quivered, your cunt around his dick and your body in his arms. You yelped, clenching him when his hand went to and pressed on your lower stomach. He smirked and you looked down at yourself to see a faint rounded outline under your belly button.

"You took me so well, sweet girl." He whispered in your ear, and you shivered again, his tongue running up the side of your throat and to your ear lobe where he sucked on your earring. In that position, you really didn't have the strength to move, the pleasure too intense for your mind to function too.

"I'll help you, sweet." He assured you and you whimpered when he laid down, so his back was on the towels. He had you place your hands on his knees bent up behind you for leverage, then he shuffled some and gave you a look. You nodded and his hips jumped, thrusting him even deeper and you gasped. He watched in wonder as your head was thrown back, hair dangling down your back, chest heaving. Using his hips and arms to move you, he fucked up into you hard and you felt your orgasm already approaching. If you thought his tongue had wrecked you, his cock was worse. He wasn't rough, but his cock was just that big. What the hell had he been fed? Next time you would have to give Soobin his own day, you were already kind of tired from working, now Soobin was blowing your back out on the floor. It got to the point where you were struggling to keep your volume controlled. Your whines and moans were getting louder, too loud. His hips stopped and you nearly squealed, but he rolled you both over, so he was on top, your legs hitched up over his hips. Leaning forward over you, so tall his collarbone was at your nose, he had grabbed a smaller towel that had fallen when he grabbed the bigger one. Rolling it up quick, he gave short thrusts, and had you open your mouth and he put the towel in to keep you quiet.

"Next time, we need to go somewhere where you can scream, but not here." He muttered and you whined around the terrycloth, but you agreed. You never used to have trouble keeping quiet during sex, but your mind was gone, your self-control gone. After your mouth was handled, his hands pressed on your thighs to open your legs spread eagle, then he snapped his hips hard, and you came again. Your cunt clenched him so tight, he had to slow down to maintain his rhythm, helping you ride it out. Your poor clit was burning from overstimulation, your gummy walls fluttering still around him. Soobin groaned, adjusting your legs again to get you into a mating press. His big hands surrounded your lower thighs, and you were grateful for your flexibility as he easily forced your knees to your ears. He watched your head flop to the side, your eyes unfocused, mouth clenched on the towel, drool soaking in, tears flowing over your cheeks and sweat down your brow. You were ruined and he reveled in it. Yes, you had been railed before, but they hadn't fucked you stupid, not like he was. There were no thoughts behind your eyes, and you couldn't even form your mouth to say his name, let alone anything else.

"You like my cock, huh?" You nodded in response.

"Want me to fill you back up? Pump you full?" You let out a long pitchy moan.

"You’re such a little slut for me, sweet. Just for me? Only for me…" He groaned low as your pussy clenched him even tighter. His fingers buried into the flesh of your thighs, and you were worried he would leave bruises. Oh well, you owned a pair of capris.

"Want it, yeah?" Soobin grunted, his thrusts growing even harsher, but less consistent. If he came inside of you as much as he did down your throat…

"Fuck!" He grunted and your stomach got hot, the force of his cum coating your insides knocked you over the edge once again. The towel was a Godsend because you might have bitten your tongue otherwise, your head thrown back, nails digging into the towels.

"Fuck, sweet girl~" He whined, still filling you, drops of white slipping down your ass and onto the towel. You slumped, boneless, the towel falling out of your mouth and rolling away till it lay flat. As your mind's haziness started to fade, you cunt fluttered…he was still half hard.

"What the fuck?" You gasped to yourself, trying to process the reality of the situation. You blinked, trying to find your way back to the current realm of existence, he let your legs down so they could rest at his sides.

"Noona? You too tired?" His voice was tinted with worry, but he really, really hoped you said no. You shook your head in the negative and he sighed.

"Let me turn over." Your voice was scratchy, but he acquiesced, pulling out. When he did, globs of cum dripped out of you, the sensation was weird. To him, the sight was extremely arousing, and his cock was at full mast again. You rolled over onto your stomach, letting your ass prop up into the air. Soobin exhaled harshly and his giant cock pressed to your pussy once again and he slipped in easily. You grabbed the small towel from your side and bit down on it to quiet your own noises, his pace immediately was relentless. Soobin pulled his cock nearly all the way out, only his head being swallowed by your soaking folds before he buried deep again. Even though he was in your cunt and not your throat, each thrust made you feel like you couldn't breathe and what looked like sparkles dotted your vision.

"Ah, fuck!" You spat the towel out when he landed his hand on your ass, the skin erupting like fire. There was a bright red spot on your cheek in the shape of his hand. The way you pulsed around him at this made him smirk, and he changed his pace to deep but hard thrusts, battering your cervix. His other hand smacked the other side, and you shoved the towel back in your mouth so you could scream. How the fuck were you going to get home? You were probably going to have to call your roommate.

"Oh, you’re so good for me, sweet." He praised and this made you sob with pleasure.

"S-S-Soobin!" You managed to get his name out and he reveled in the broken syllables leaving your drool covered lips. Another spank landed on your ass, in a different spot this time, leaving another red welt in its wake. The sound echoed through the shelter and your skin burned after a good six or seven swats.

"Okay, (Y/N), noona, I'm going to come again, 'kay? On your back…" He groaned and with a last spank, you came, and he took the chance to pull out. After a few strokes, his hot cum splashed over the red skin on your ass, so hot it felt scalding. Your eyes closed, tears flowing down and over your nose to land on the towel under your face. Finally, finally, his cock was softening, still covered in a mix of your essences. You were a mess and he wanted you no other way. While Taehyun might have had a more dominating personality, Soobin was more devious it seemed. He loved you beneath him, utterly spent. You slipped in and out of consciousness as you heard him moving around the shelter. When he came back to you and lifted you up to kneeling, you whimpered, and he shushed you.

"It’s okay, noona, let’s get cleaned up." He held you like a princess, kissing your forehead. He was still just as naked, and he entered the back office you had left open and went into the bathroom there. He let you down softly, still holding you upright as he turned the shower on. He only made it warm, you both needed to cool down and he helped you rinse his seed off your skin. He cooed at the red marks as you leaned against the cold tile, still panting. You barely registered as he got you out of the shower and even dressed and you laid down on the couch in the office as he brought you your bag and phone. There was only one notification on your phone, and he saw the time was nearly 11 pm. He winced, grabbing his own phone, and sending the guys a quick message as you wearily looked at your own.

"You good, fam?" Your roommate had messaged you and you shot her a quick positive and debated whether to have her come get you or not. Shifting a bit to try and sit up, your entire body protested and so you caved and called her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…I need you to come pick me up." You mumbled and you heard some shuffling on the other line.

"Are. You. Okay?"

"YES. I just…can't walk…or sit." You told her and she laughed so hard you had to pull your phone away from your ear.

"Okay, shit, that's great. I'll get an Uber and drive your car back." She hung up and your arm flopped back down, your cell face down on your stomach.

"Sorry." Soobin mumbled next to you, sitting on the floor next to the couch.

"Don't. That was…" You sighed and he laughed.

"You warned me of your stamina but that was insane." You huffed and he laughed again. You began to drift off, and he reached up, brushing some stray hairs from your face and stroking your still red cheek with the back of his finger.

"(Y/N)!" A voice he didn't recognize called out and he went to open the gate for your roommate and let her into the shelter. She barely glanced at him till she saw you lying on the couch, then turned to him. She balked, eyes wide and looked him up and down.

"Shit…" She swore and then went to you and shook you.

"You need help out to the car?" she asked, and you grunted a yes. Your roommate turned to Soobin, and he went to you. You lifted your arms up like a child and he chuckled, lifting you into his arms once again and followed your roommate out to the car. She grabbed your bag and his and made sure the lights were turned off and locked as you left. She had worked there with you in the past and so knew what to do. You rested your head on his shoulder as he carried you across the parking lot and helped you sit in the passenger seat. You winced as your sore skin touched the seat and he apologized. He kissed your forehead, which made you whimper, and he shut the door. Your roommate waved to him, and she pulled out before he started to walk back to campus.

"Holy crap." She muttered and you let out a tired laugh.

"Yes."

-> Yeonjun <-

-> Taehyun <-

-> Hueningkai <-

-> Beomgyu <-

Masterlist

#ihavethedreamies #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop x reader #tomorrow by together #tomorrow x together #txt #txt fanfic #txt x reader #txt smut #txt soobin #choi soobin #soobin x reader #soobin fanfic #soobin smut

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thebottomfromhell · 2 months

Note

In a scenario where the reader is a hashira, what do you think would happen to him if his relationship with a demon was discovered. I know you wrote something along those lines where the reader was someone ordinary. The Hashiras, in the original work, are mostly nice, but they are very strict-minded about demons, so I wonder what their reaction would be if one of their own basically "betrayed" them. If you think it's going to be very similar, you can just ignore it or just say what you think would happen, without it necessarily being a story. I would appreciate it just the same

The Hashira request I like, the one where we treat them as the corporation of hunters they are instead of the avengers! I usually don't like making reader a Hashira, since I like to make it relatable to most, and let's be honest, the power fantasy is nice but most wouldn't live past Kanoe XD. Besides, it's funnier to make powerless MC's who need constant saving. But once or twice can't hurt.

The Hashira will refer to reader as L/N, as Last Name. Like last time it won't specify gender nor who's Uppermoon reader is with. One difference would be that as a civilian, last time reader only knew about the corps due being warned by their couple, hence only saw them as a bounch of psychos, here they will be more aware of certain things.

Hashira find out Hashira!GN Reader has a relationship with an Upper Moon

Warnings: Manga spoilers, Torture (Mostly non-physical, and the ones ññ, Excesive violence, Mutilation, Mentioned non-consented drug use, Mention of character's death, Implied sexual content, Suicidal character with survival guilt (Giyuu) and Open ending.

You became a Hashira to save others, you were told sometimes you were someone that loves too much, even for this line of work, specially for this line of work. In your ranking, most of everyone is civil to each other (depending on your definition of civil), but there is at least a level of trust. But not the tradiotional trust of sharing your burdens or being able to do things together, every Hashira prefers to work without the others, but trust that everyone else will do their job and kill every demon they meet or die trying.

That is exactly the trust you broke, so everyone is angry, upset and thirsty for blood. Most Hashira think positive things about each other, you also had only good things to say when asked, but now? After all that conversations you had with your lover about the inferiority of humanity, that they are pests, barbaric, backstabbers, a necessary evil... you have to wonder. After they caged you without any warning or mercy, sending Kocho and Shinazugawa for you, ending up beated and drugged.... you wonder. You just wonder.

Is it actually right?

The fellow Hashira could have at least confronted you out of the sake of the this fellowship, you could recieve visits from someone that isn't Kocho, drugging you for the sake of being easier to handle for the kakushi. And not only she drugs you, she always makes sure to remind you of your situation. To shame you, to taunt you, to hurt you. "Ara ara, aren't you eager to move? This is the second time I have to drug you today. You should really give a slack to the kakushi, they are just trying to do their job. But again, considering what you did, I must really question if you care about the efforts of the people in the corps." She says smiling, even if your blurred vision doesn't let you see it clearly, you can tell by her tone. Shinobu spits poison so cafefully with every word. Because she hates you. "You know? A mere civilian or commoner would have a an excuse. The don't know the level of sacrifice we have made, the pain the demons have caused. You? You did. And you had one job, the same as us. To stop that pain or die trying, you should have done the later."

You know about Kanae. You were never told about the demon who killed her nor the details, but it's almost (Tokito...) impossible to be a Hashira and NOT know about her death on the hands of demons. You knew, know that most Hashira have lost something to demons, and yet you decided to get close to one. Close enough to become lovers. But... it was right, at the time. The gentle touches, the vulnerable moments, the softness. The beatings inside your chest, the warmness in your face, that lightness in that voice... you are in love. And that Uppermoon is too, or else you would be dead, like everyone seems to wish you were, already.

You have too much free time in your thoughts, since you are tied up in a way you can't move any of your limbs and struggling cut's your circulation, kept in a dark room, when light and noise only appear when the Kakushi are told to feed you, once a day at most. You have no idea if they were told to do it that way or they are only scared to face a "renegade Hashira" or whatever they call you when you can't hear them. Your body is sore, it has been for the longest time, and you feel constantly sick due Kocho's drugs. Dizzy, tired, too hot, wanting to throw out when anything touches your throat, and even after hours the needles stings remains in wherever she managed to shot you. You also never healed your leg when fighting Shinazugawa, at lealt not properly. You can still feel empty tissues and the bone in your thigh stabbing the flesh, with smaller piece stuck. Your nose is also broken, making you need to breath through the mouth. The only thing Kocho actually tended was a cut through your hand, so you don't die from the blood loss.

You still remember grabbing the tilt of your sword to protect yourself, only to have all of the digits cut out of the hand, keeping in each different fractions, but all of the without the tips. At first there was a fast and intense sting, similar to a burning senssation as your katana started to fall from your grip, then, for a second, a coldness that was at worst, annoying, some sort of emptyness. Finally, when the realization sink there was pain in your pulsating fingers, mixing a lasting feeling of both previous ones, fighting to be the dominant one. You still can feel, on a lesser extent, all the time, those sensations.

It takes a lot for you to not go mad with the lack of contact with everything, and that sensation of being ill. Part of you wonders if your beloved will save you, if any other Hashira will speak to at least let you defend yourself in vain. Every day it becomes less of a reality, which adds resentment. Part of you tells you that you were the one to betray them first, another that longs that sweet voice and touches angers, wanting nothing to get out, to go somewhere safe, with the demon you love. "My sister and my best friend were killed by demons..." One day you suddenly feel a voice besides you... Tomioka. He is giving you his back, speaking only high enough so you can make up what he is saying. "So I really hate them... how... how were you able to love such a monster, knowing well what others suffered because of them?"

You don't know the answer, you can't even speak coherently due the drugs on your system. That is a question you asked yourself so much, thinking that if you didn't fall like that, you wouldn't be in this situation... but... "Sp-cil.... hom.... looovd...." you wonder if the silence means resignation or understanding, but you are glad to have someone close. "You will not be forgiven... there is someone that might, but... he is not here right now, and seeing the situation is probably for the best. I'm sorry." You... honestly can't understand it. That is why you curse Tomioka after he leaves, even if he was the only one willing to listen to you. That feeling only gets worse when you realize he is not in your "trial", he didn't go. The others, as always were neither fast to condemn him or dismiss him because of it, but besides some of them changing the subject, nobody came to his defense. Like you have already realized nobody is comming for yours.

You don't listen when Oyakata-sama speaks, is your attention lacking or he is just talking too low due being sick? None the less you just watch the others. Tokito is there, you want to trash out, but are still drugged and tied up, at the fact the child is here. That is child is going to see you being excecuted... but does it make a difference, this child has killed even more powerful demons than you, and you has never seem to care. Is it really that different to see a human die than a demon? Because everyone else seems so eager to see you die as one. You wouldn't know, you never wished death upon any specific human nor killed any. Yes, sometimes you curse some more anstract subjects, like people who hurt others, some criminals, and so, but you have never talked to anyone and wished you could kill them.

Every Hashira seems obsessed with death in one way or another, even if it's only to avoid it like Mitsuri, who is crearly sobbing and trying to keep it down. "Where is Tomioka? We shouldn't start without him!" Asks Rengoku impossible to not hear him, even in your state, but you know that he isn't comming probably asked permission for it. Damn him, that coward. You can also basically hear the scoffs from Shinazugawa and Obanai. After some seconds you feel the Serpent Hashira stab your shoulder with that irregula blade, making the cut difficult ans uneven, not covering the bleeding at all. "Obanai! Stop! Do not let your anger cloud your judgement!" Himejima acrually screams, and Obanai is close enough for you to hear and see him decently.

There is also a significant, loud, growing hatred in his eyes. Being any other situation you would tease that it's because you made Kanroji cry, but you know better. It's because he trusted you to kill demons and die trying, and you didn't. Come to think about it, it's an unfair standard to hold against anyone. What about those who had someone to go hone to? What about those too young to die? What about those who have a bright future ahead? Is everyone expected to? "My judgement?! What about L/N's judgement! This level of treason is unforgivable! It deserves more than a quick death! I apologize, Oyakata-sama, but I can't accept your desition!" Kanroji only cries harder at the time she speaks. "NO! NO! Y/N-SAN IS STILL OUR FRIEND! WE SHOULD AT LEAST MAKE IT AS PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE!"

"OUR FRIEND? A FRIEND DOESN'T GO AND SLEEP WITH THE ENEMY! IF L/N SIDES WITH THE ENEMY THEN WE TREAT THEM AS SUCH!" Shinazugawa screams at her, moving her direction angrily, so both Kocho and Rengoku put themself in between. You can't hear what Kocho says, but you can definetely make up what Rengoku does. "Shinazugawa! I understand your anger! This betrayal woould never go unpunished! But if we torture and rip L/N as we pleasw we won't be better than demons! We must answer with humanity!"

There is arguing, a lot of noise, Himejima and Tokito-kun are the only ones that are not with to it, besides the big boss who will only let them cool down by themselves, but you don't know that because you can make any voice out of the sounds, but because you know them. You know them... You spoke with them, shared meals and stories with some, worked with them... you know them, and they know you. And still, they will be the ones to kill you as long as they sort their shit out before you bleed to death.

"SILENCE! THIS IS SO UNFLASHY, WE SHOULD NOT BE GOING AGAINST EACH OTHER AFTER SUCH AN EVENT. We are already too on edge for this treason, we we can handle it. We should not be losing trust on each other!" Suddenly screams Uzui as he takes out his weapons, unecesaryly moving them for show, having the blades surrounding his torso, arms and shoulders without a single scratch on him. "I should be the one who deals with this. I know how to make it fast." He gets close to you as your vision becomes even more blured, to the point everything is red. Not black yet, you can basically see your eyelids and your own blood on the ground. You feel cold, trembling violently, you are pain, wanting to throw up your empty, tight and twisted stomach, feeling as if your organs will leave your body through the mouth the second you give into that urge. You pant, having a hard time breathing, every muscles is sore and protests... You are scared.

You swore that was what forced you to stay awake, even after loosing so much blood, but then... "Well, isn't this sad?" You hear a voice loud and clear, masculine. One that you have never heard before but still edges you. Your heart beats faster and normally you would worry about what that would mean something for the bloodloss, but... you don't feel like you are loosing blood, on the contrary, you feel more. "To be honest, I didn't notice at first you had my blood in your system, but now that you are weak, loosing the liquids of your body, the few drops you had inside are taking over. I won't pretend I don't know about your... intimacy with one of my powerful demons, but let me tell you this. It can save you."

You.... can be saved? You want to be saved, you have no idea where Uzui is, if he is near and ready to make the last blow or the arguing is stopping him. "You see, right now I can speak with you, share myself, but I can't take any look in your mind. But if you were to say where you are, I will gladly save you. Just tell where where are the ones who hurt you, and I'll even reward you with more blood. Don't you think it's a winning deal for you?" You cal sell out everyone for your own survival. Do you actually want them to die? To be killed. You feel suddenly a bit better, as the demon cells fight off the drugs.

You take air into your lungs softly and-

Tomioka Giyuu is in his home. He didn't want to be part of this. For now he doesn't want to think about it, the fact that one day he might take your place for not killing that demon girl. Urokodaki sends him letters of Kamado Tanjiro's process, the boy sends him his own letters too. He reads them all. Right now he has a brush in his hands, wondering if he should answer. He is tempted to write back, congratulate him, tell him he is doing good, to take care of himself and his sister, or at least to warn him about some difficulties he might face.

He can't. He doesn't want to get attached, no matter how nice and lovely the boy is, of how much he reminds him of himself when younger, except Tanjiro has more talent and is more capable that he was at his age. He will make a great water Hashira, far better than him. But for that Tomioka can't risk the others undermining his judgement by defending you. He didn't know if he would or not, and he didn't want to find out. Right now, that important thing is to ensure that the boy will take his place, and that means taking his distance too. Because everyone that Giyuu has ever held so dear into his heart dies. His sister and Sabito.... and even if you too were not close, not really friend... but still.

"It shoukd have been me." Is the only thing he can think as he sets the brush aside, not having written anything, and saving the letters carefully in a box. Then, just silence.

It doesn't matter anymore.

#demon slayer #kny #upper moons #kny x reader #shinobu kocho #giyuu tomioka #sanemi shinazugawa #gyomei himejima #muichiro tokito #mitsuri kanroji #rengoku kyojuro #obanai iguro #tengen uzui #reader x uppermoon #I'm not denying my favoritism

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b3achysurfur · 3 months

Text

ANALYSISSSS TIMMEEE

Call me a reacher, but actually I’m a preacher. About to make y’all learn this lore like I’m your teacher. I don’t care if you get dreary, y’all gon hear this theory.

I know y’all want the paper crane cult to be evil , but I think it’s the other way around tbh. the cranes probably aren't bad people, they believe what they're doing is correct.

They also have a reason to do what they are doing (or at least they think they do). Not sure exactly what it could be, since non-fastpass literally have crumbs of info on them, but the way I see it is they have a “being mean to be kind” mindset.

Don’t get me wrong, they know turning people into phantoms is a horrible thing to do. They are aware their actions are harmful, both through self-reflection and outside opinions. But I believe their organization is either going to end up being the lesser evil or it’s a selfish sacrifice for a greater goal.

When I say “outside opinions”, I’m referring to the other two groups currently working against (?) the paper crane cult. At least one of these mysterious groups is trying to shut down everything the cranes are doing. The other one’s goal can be anything tbh. They might want to take over, they could know the folklore behind phantoms and are more knowledgeable than the cranes are. Regardless, their interference is obviously not helping the cranes which is why they are in hiding.

Also, since we’re on the topic, I don’t believe the ‘stunt pulled in savannah’ had anything to do with Ashlyn and the main cast. We’ve been told that this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled people into the phantom dimension. So why would something they do constantly be considered a stunt?

The group is experienced enough to be able to predict the physical reactions the main cast’s bodies should be undergoing. But when things don’t go to plan, instead of revising their studies, they automatically understand that the children are anomalies. Them being anomalies is important for my next point.

Let’s go back to the basics. The cults symbol is a black paper crane. Cranes symbolize peace, while paper by itself represents newness, life, and growth. Together, this can be interpreted as a goal for a new era of peace and the recovery/growth of society. This could be the boss trying to come to peace with a situation of his past and his end goal of the phantom research is the only way he can cope/try to solve whatever happened.

But, paper cranes as origami can also be given a meaning. 1000 paper cranes are needed in order to have ONE wish granted. The origins of this belief tie back to prayers for recovery and good health. Which links back to my earlier statements about the goal of the cranes being to help something (society, the boss, a person of the past) recover or improve in health/ability.

Hear me out now. What if, instead of using paper cranes, the crane cult uses humans as their offerings instead? Say they need 1000 experiments in order to make a break through in their research of the phantom world. Remember earlier when I stated the main cast were anomalies? What if they’re experiments 994-1,000? Ashlyn, who fosters the closest connection to the phantom dimension out of everyone else, is the 1,000th person. She’s the specialist one, and she will be the breakthrough the cult had so desperately been searching for.

Going back to the orginally topic of the cult not necessarily being evil, there is honestly an odd amount of symbolism that surrounds the members.

In chapter 44, the boss stands at a window reviewing the situation with a member of the paper cranes. In the window, there is a sparrow sitting on a bare tree. This detail can be overlooking very quickly, but the fact it comes up in 2 panels and is the only thing in the window is odd.

So, after some research, I learned that sparrows are actually a sign of good luck! Furthermore, the sparrow is outside.

A sparrow leaves when a family member has died. People need time to recover after the death of a family member. Given my earlier points, are the dots connecting? Perhaps the boss has recently experienced a death (or someone important to him/he himself is very sick) and he is doing everything he can to restore their health. Even if that means others have to die and suffer in order to save them, or even himself. This would be the selfish goal I was talking about earlier.

Or maybe it’s not just one person who’s sick/dead. Maybe it’s society as a whole? The paper cult wants to save people from their own greed and division and make everyone harmonious and equal.

If everyone became a phantom, war and conflict would cease to exist. From what we’ve seen, the phantoms don’t attack each other. Unless they are working together, they completely ignore each other.

In the case that the cult is attempting to save us from ourselves, than wouldn’t that mean the organization is the ‘lesser evil’ I was talking about before?

The charater designs of paper cult members are also very important to this analysis/theory thing.

I don’t know his name, so I’m gonna call him baldy, but look at his piercings. He has two on his right eyebrow. In some cultures, this represents a rite of passage in someone’s life.

The three stages of a rite of passage of separation, transition, and the return. This process can apply to so many theories and events in sbg that I really don’t know which to pick for this post 😭. To save time, I’ll leave it up to the reader. But I’m always open to hearing everyone’s thoughts on this(even if it doesn’t have anything to do with this post’s specific topic).

Now, let’s look at jasmine. She was the funniest to research lol. Her double piercing is on her right ear. This symbolizes life at jeopardy or the prevention of a disaster. HELLO? This covers literally all of my ealier points in one go.

Her tattoos also are quite interesting to look at too. OKAYY so I’ve seen the theory about how this specific tattoo is actually these biggies and it does make sense. However when I was originally putting this analysis together, no one pointed it out yet, and I went in the opposite direction. It still applies to my connections though so.

Originally I thought this tattoo was a centipede, which symbolize good luck, healing, and energy! All three add onto my ealier points.

I’m not 100% sure what these are but it looks like smoke to me.

There are two different thing smoke can symbolize. It can hide a situation or cloud judgement. The clouded judgement could be the emotion that causes the cult to make their selfish sacrifices or our judgement of the cult and assuming their bad people without context (even though they’re kidnappers 😓). Smoke is also important in artworks and ceremonies that deal with sacrifices. In this case, the human sacrifices being used to further the research/domination of phantoms.

This tattoo of what appears to be a snake wrapped around a dragger or staff represents medicine and rejuvenation. It can also represent overcoming a challenge or fear.

I also find the quote, “snake shed their skin” interesting because in a sense when the humans become phantoms they’re shedding their skin and becoming a new being. Just saying 🤷‍♀️

I’m too lazy to write an ending to this long thread but hopefully you guys see the point I was trying to make. Yes I know I’m reaching but also it makes too much sense and I wanted to share. Anyways feel free to add onto this or disagree with it. I’m curious about other peoples perspectives on this!

#sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #school bus graveyard #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon)#paper crane cult #paper cranes #theories

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comicaurora · 9 months

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Hey Red. Just finished your latest Detail Diatribe, and I wanted to say thank you for nailing what has been at the back of my own brain that has been bothering me about The Force Awakens--there is just one story going on in there, and everything else is a backdrop to it.

The compare and contrast bit are the two Cantina Scenes from A New Hope and Force Awakens.

In New Hope, when Luke and Obi-Wan go in, we see a cantina full of disreputable characters all of whom have their own issues and stories and just aren't interested in this old man and farmboy, aside from two that have to try to show that they're tough guys. After they get lightsabered, everyone else is like, "Welp, I got enough going on, I'm not sticking my nose in that."

Contrast that with Force Awakens, where, in a massive galaxy full of billions of people, entire planets worth of societies...

Somehow everyone knows about the Droid They Are Looking For, immediately stick their noses in, have no other issues going on, and then vanish when it's time for the Big Fight Sequence because they're just set dressing. They don't have stories that intersect the main plot.

So congrats from this corner at least at identifying a widespread problem and something that I'm going to be keeping an eye on in my own writing.

I think adaptations or expansions of beloved stories really suffer from a fixation on "we must impress the fans by giving them exactly what they want to see" and because the writers obsess over the original stories and maybe even feel it would be sacrilegious to stray too far from The Original Vision they dramatically limit their ability to make the world feel alive

#asks #not aurora #writing stuff

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connan-l · 3 months

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I sometimes see people wondering when Reiko died exactly and how old her daughter was at the time of her death, but we do, in fact, already have a little bit of an answer to this in canon.

Now this is something that is only implied, but in the very first chapter of the manga, during the conversation Natsume has with Nyanko-sensei the first time he reveals his true form and right before our first Reiko flashback, we have this line (that was cut off from the anime):

[NATSUME: She [Reiko] may not have been able to relate well to others... Not many people even remember her, since she died so young. Not even her own daughter...]

[NATSUME: 確かに祖母は人とうまくつきあえなかったらしい彼女を憶えている「人」はほとんでいないんだ娘だった母でさえ記憶にないくらい若くして亡くなっていて・・・・・・]

This is the official English translation, while the fan translation has this:

"There aren't that many people who remember her. She died so young that even my mom, her daughter, probably didn't remember her..."

This leaves some more uncertainty in the phrasing, but the meaning is basically the same. The original Japanese, "母でさえ記憶にないくらい若くして亡くなっていて" is a bit closer to the fan translation in a literal sense, except in Japanese there is no "probably"; Natsume sounds pretty certain his mother didn't remember Reiko.

So, if "not even her own daughter" remembered Reiko, it's fair to assume that she must have died when Takashi's mom was still a child, and a really young one at that.

(I suppose you could maybe make an argument that Reiko could have still died when the daughter was older, but then something happened that made her forget? But that doesn't seem likely to me.)

Now, this was the very first chapter written 20 years ago, back when NatsuYuu still wasn't supposed to become a long series with much of an overarching narrative, so maybe it's something that could change later. Midorikawa has definitely retconned some details in her story before. But for now that's still one of the only crumb of information we have about this.

Which, if this is correct, then it's very sad because that means Reiko only lived with her daughter for a handful of years at most and never even got to see her grow up. And given we know the grandfather wasn't around and Reiko was a single mom, then the daughter probably spent most of her childhood without her parents, and barely knew anything about either of them (or, well, nothing at all in the father's case).

Which also begs the question as to who raised Reiko's daughter after her death then. We knows Reiko had no family, and no one know anything about the grandfather, so there was no relative, even distant ones, to look after her like with Takashi.

Did she just end up in the foster system/an orphanage, or did someone specific took care of her? If so, does that mean there was a person close enough to Reiko that would have taken care of her child like this? Did the daughter just carry the Book of Friends with herself all this time? Did she knows what the Book of Friends even was, or anything about her mother's abilities? During the eastern forest arc, Takashi says that his mother didn't have any spiritual powers, but then again he never met her or know anything about her at all, so who knows how much that can be true.

Regardless, there's something particularly tragic about the idea that each generation of the Natsumes grew up as isolated orphans who barely knew anything about their family.

#Natsume Yuujinchou #NatsuYuu #Natsume Reiko #Natsume Takashi #Natsume's Book of Friends #Natsume #Reiko Natsume #Natsuchou #Takashi Natsume #Connan's Ramblings #Connan's Posts #Natsume Yujincho

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pinchinschlimbah · 2 months

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On "Coming Out" and Noel Fielding

I mentioned forever ago that I had this post in mind and then never got around to it, but now with the new interview quote I was yelling about recently it feels like a particularly good time to get it out of my brain and onto the page! tl;dr: musings on the concept of "coming out" as it has evolved over time, whether it's something that should continue to be necessary or expected of queer people, and why Noel is particularly inspirational to me in that regard since this is, after all, my brainrot blog. This may be extremely long and a bit disjointed but I hope some of y'all will enjoy it!

So a while ago myself and several friends were discussing the concept of coming out. All of us are some flavor of queer both in gender and orientation, but each is in a different place along their self discovery and identity journey, with some being long since out and proud, and others just starting to dip their toes into exploration past the expected cishet.

This discussion actually was prompted by a different discussion about Noel, spurred by comments we'd come across slamming him as being homophobic/transphobic on Bakeoff for making comments suggesting he has romantic or sexual attraction towards Paul, referring to himself with female-centric terms, playing female characters in the skits, and a particular moment where he brings up Old Gregg while talking to KimJoy and says "he was a sea transsexual....quite a demanding role for me" while laughing to indicate that that last part was said in jest. Hey fellas, is it homophobic/transphobic to be a little bit gay and trans? This got us talking about how the current culture of queer identity has evolved to the point where "coming out" feels more like something the public feels they're owed in order for them to view one's expression as valid, rather than its original purpose as something one does for themself in order to live most authentically. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many artists have been harassed by their "fans" into coming out before they were ready because people wouldn't accept the validity of that person's work without knowing exactly how that person identified, there've been plenty of articles and video essays and better written tumblr posts about that, but it's definitely a concerning trend. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to people who aren't feeling confident or safe enough to come out, who end up being criticized and shunned by the queer community as being somehow problematic for not being able to fully articulate to a group of strangers the ways in which they're experiencing their identity. In this situation, the people who are struggling the most end up with the least support. Forcing people to either declare an identity or get out just leads to more people staying closeted out of fear of doing it "wrong" and never getting the chance to explore the most authentic and joyful versions of themselves, or even worse, feeling the need to out themselves before they're in a safe place to do so and suffering the resulting consequences. Questioning or cautious people deserve space in the community to experiment even if they haven't yet or maybe never will come out! My high school's Gay Straight Alliance was comprised entirely of "straight allies" when I was there. There was not a single "out" person in the school at the time. Nearly all of us in the GSA ended up being some flavor of queer or trans years later after graduation. But whether it was intentional closeting or just feeling an innate affinity towards something we couldn't quite pinpoint at the time, we all knew we belonged there and made that space for ourselves and others like us. Back when "coming out" first became a concept in the public consciousness, it was during a time where cishet identity was not just considered the default, but the only option. By coming out, queer people were giving genuinely revolutionary representation for themselves and others like them by telling the world that, as the old saying goes, we're here, we're queer, get used to it! Nowadays, we're lucky to live in a culture that is much more cognizant of queer identities being a thing, so in many cases coming out has become less about having to explain to those around you the basic concept of queerness existing, and moreso about which specific identity you fall under, and that's where things get messy.

My friends and I shared our own thoughts and experiences. One is currently identifying as "unlabeled" because they haven't found a term that feels correct yet, and therefore hasn't come out because they wouldn't know what to say. One spoke about how when they first came out they were much more insistent on what terms or pronouns people used for them but as time has gone on they've grown to find joy in being inscrutable and letting others wonder what they're perceiving. One expressed that given the state of the world they've been retreating somewhat back into the closet for safety reasons rather than being super outward with their queerness like they used to and is working on learning to embrace those parts of themself again. One said they felt like they'd already been existing as queer and expressing that queerness "before I even had the terms to come out to myself" and is now working on catching up on the conscious end of figuring out what's what. I myself never really had an official "coming out", I just became increasingly visually/socially/vocally queer as I became more and more confident in who I was and what I wanted to be and who I had on some level always been, and decided if people didn't get the hint that's their own problem. I came into consciousness of my queerness during the early 2010s original tumblr MOGAI microlabel boom, where there was a ton of focus on figuring out the hyper specific identity labels that exactly described what you were experiencing. I did a lot of digging and soul searching and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress trying and failing to find my perfect labels and landed on clumsy terms like "full time drag queen" because it was the closest I could get to what I was feeling about my gender, only to be told it was problematic for me to call myself that as an AFAB person because drag "belongs to cis gay men" (don't get me started on that statement, that's a whole other essay lol) It was a real wake up call once I distanced from these aggressively labeled and segmented online spaces and made my way into real world queer communities where I was relieved to find that in fact no one there asks to check your membership card before letting you in, if you feel like you belong there you're welcome no questions asked.

I had other people in these communities referring to me as "queer" and "fag" and "gay" and "queen" before I felt comfortable doing so myself based on online Discourse I'd experienced over who is Allowed to use certain terms, and having these community leaders I respected recognizing those things in me and welcoming me in like that gave me the confidence to really find my own footing in ways that attempting to find my exact correct identity label so that I could officially proclaim it never did. Once I could answer the question of what I was with a shrug and "queer I guess!" things became so much easier. Microlabels can be incredibly helpful and liberating for some, don't get me wrong if it works for you that's great, but let's not pretend that everyone is going to have the same experiences.

So anyway, back to Noel. Noel has never, to my knowledge, ever had any sort of official “coming out” or explicitly referred to himself as queer. So I know there are people out there who will disagree with me considering him to be queer. But so much of what he’s said and done throughout his several decades long career has indicated to me that this is clearly someone of queer experience navigating the world as such, and just as the queers in my local community welcomed me as one of them before I knew to do it myself, I extend that welcome forward.

Let’s take a look at some of the facts. In the public span of his career, Noel has.....(in no particular order, also if anyone wants to add additional instances of note in the reblogs or comments please feel free, this is by no means a fully comprehensive list) -repeatedly called himself "the woman of the Boosh" or Julian's/Howard's "wife" in ways that suggest that's how he actually felt about it rather than it just being a punchline that he was mistaken for female in the show [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] -referred to himself at the GQ "Man of the Year" awards as "never been a man" and "a sort of girl, he/she" -been referred to by Sandi Toksvig as being "on the cusp" in regards to gender, to which he reacts with amusement and acceptance -consistently expressed excitement and appreciation when others refer to him with feminine terms or say he looks like a girl [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] -said "I love being a man-woman, it's much more interesting than being one or the other" and expressed that the loved shooting the Boosh Electro episode for this reason -referred to Vince Noir (a character who he's been pretty open about being based on himself) as "wasn't seemingly one gender or the other" -expressed that he felt most free and happy when presenting femininely [2] -had Julian, one of the people closest to him, express that Noel and Sandi (an out lesbian) may have "real sexual chemistry" because Noel is "all over the shop, he's a different sex" -used the "Confuser" line of "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'm not sure I mind" to refer to himself rather than Vince, and express that he's had to work to find new ways to feel as androgynous as he'd like now that he's older -referred to himself as a lesbian [2] -said that he "sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a woman", in the same interview that Julian implies that Noel is in fact a girl -referred to himself as a "girl/boy" -consistently referred to himself with feminine terms on panel shows and bakeoff -made a joke on bakeoff about not being a testosterone-based person -responded positively when asked about the ways Boosh had influenced queer and nonbinary youth -has said he's "quite obsessed with the man/woman mixup thing" -has said if he was an animal he'd want to be a seahorse because the males get pregnant -Had Lee Mack, who Noel used to live with, refer to him as "the little transsexual one, yeah I think she's fantastic" in a Boosh documentary and "a young lady who came out here happy to be herself" in response to Noel's Wuthering Heights drag performance -had his own mother refer to him as "the daughter I always wanted" -described his own appearance as that of a "transsexual witch" and when an interviewer attempted to make fun of him for calling himself "a transgender witch" by showing Noel a drawing the interviewer clearly found repulsive, Noel responded that the interviewer was "holding up a mirror" and called the image his passport photo

And I'm not even going to bother citing sources on the countless times he's made comments suggesting romantic or sexual attraction towards men. Literally just watch any non-character appearance he's ever done, it's kind of his whole thing??? Not to mention his penchant for picking up explicitly queer and gnc character roles, and also just [gestures vaguely to everything Noel and Julian have said about each other suggesting romantic and sexual tension between them and how they used their characters as an excuse to explore those feelings in a less scary way, again that could be a whole other essay on its own but ooh boy] I also think there's something interesting to explore in the idea of Noel repeatedly referring to his appearance as transgender or transsexual rather than identifying himself as such- at what point does the appearance of something become reality?

It all begs the question- is it even a joke anymore if it's that consistent? Either it's not a joke and it's an authentic expression of his real feelings and experiences, or he for some reason really really wants everyone to believe that he's queer when he's not, with this behavior spanning back to a time before the concept of queerbaiting was on anyone's minds and when being publicly queer could mean the end of your career. Which scenario do you think is more likely? And, does someone who’s been conducting themself like this for their entire career really NEED to come out? Honestly, I find this level of simultaneous authenticity and inscrutability aspirational.

In this Velvet Onion interview from 2012, Noel compares his penchant for dresses to both Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard. This is interesting because those two people represent pretty opposite intentions behind their presentation- Grayson identifies solidly as cis male, and for him the shock value of crossdressing is the point, saying “I signed up for a gender and I want them to be very clearly delineated so I know I’m dressing up in the wrong clothes.” This doesn't seem particularly in line with where Noel is coming from given him famously referring to himself as "the Confuser" and stating in that same Velvet Onion interview that he "never even bothered giving it a label, I never went oh I'm a transvestite, I just went yeah if I fancy wearing a dress I do, never really thought about it really" Eddie on the other hand has famously said "They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, I bought them." indicating that they were a genuine part of her authentic expression rather than a crossdressing costume, and has subsequently over the years identified more and more solidly as transfemme. I find Eddie's trajectory particularly fascinating because it's been so non-linear. In the 90s when the language for transness was much less public knowledge, she referred to herself consistently as a transvestite- a cishet man who enjoyed dressing as a woman, as well as using terms like "male tomboy" and "male lesbian" and "a full boy plus extra girl". Despite doing most of her standup shows in femme looks, most of her acting jobs were male-presenting, and there was a period of time in the 2010s where she dropped the femme presentation entirely in an attempt to be taken more seriously as the "crossdressing" was seen by many as a gimmick. Swinging back around more recently, Eddie has been explicitly identifying as genderfluid and transfemme, and in recent years has made the decision to "be based in girl mode from now on", and use primarily she/her pronouns. Since this announcement, in her trans advocacy work Eddie has described herself as being "out" as trans since the 1980s despite all of the above. She always knew who she was, it's just she's gotten access to more accurate terms over time to describe what she was experiencing, as well as feeling more safe to do so the more that transness became a known and accepted concept in the public eye.

The interview I mentioned at the very start of this post isn't really a coming out from Noel. And I don't think we'll ever really get one from him. In my opinion Noel has spent the past several decades conducting himself as someone who is in fact already out- it’s pretty clear Noel knows and is proud of who he is regardless of how he chooses to describe that identity. At this point, making some sort of official statement would just be for the benefit of others looking for clarification on their own perception of him and people who want to be able to put him in one box or another, and that’s not what coming out should be. The statement in the new interview is not "I am genderfluid", its "I've always been genderfluid", simply putting an accurate name to what's always been publicly visibly true now that he's got the terms to do so.

#noel fielding #gender files #gender files masterpost #gay yelling #the mighty boosh #shouts into void #a lot of this could also apply to my other wife #but that discussion is way more of a minefield so I'm not touching that for now plus many more people already have

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 7 months

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Ikemen Villains - Ellis Twilight

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors.

Blank, ageless, and suspicious blogs will be blocked.

On the eve of Halloween, the aroma of sweet pastries filled the kitchen of the castle.

Victor: "It's almost time for them to finish baking. Come on, let's take the scones out."

Ellis: "Kate, let me do it. I don't want you to burn yourself."

Kate: "Thanks. Please be careful, Ellis."

Ellis: "Hm. They're nicely baked."

Victor: "Ahaha! Victor's original buttery scones are now ready!"

We gazed and smiled at the beautifully baked scones.

Tomorrow, October 31st, Halloween will come to this country, and the town will be bustling with excitement.

After talking with Ellis, we decided to do something for the townspeople, so Victor taught us how to make scones to distribute.

Even though we didn't live in a sunny place, doing this once in a while shouldn't have posed a problem.

(It's so typical of Ellis to be so friendly and kind to the townspeople that he wants to hand out candies.)

Victor: "Are you planning to distribute this tomorrow?"

Kate: "Yup, that's the plan."

Victor: "That's wonderful. You guys are truly kind-hearted!"

Ellis: "Victor, your hug is a bit too strong."

Victor: "Oops, my apologies! Love overflowed for a moment there."

Victor: "But do be careful about one thing. Tomorrow is the night of beauty under the moon." **

Kate: "Night of beauty under the moon?" **

Victor: "Ah, right. I haven't told you about this yet."

Victor proceeded to explain it to me.

He said that every few years, there was an occurrence where Halloween coincided with a full moon or a new moon, intensifying the cursed sins.

It was also called "beauty under the moon" because it blooms at the same time as the beauty under the moon flowers.

(So weird things like that happen. Is it because of the phases of the moon?)

Kate: "Thank you for the explanation. So, what exactly happens when the curse intensifies?"

Victor: "I wish I could tell you, but I don't really know all the details!"

Kate: "Huh?"

Victor: "The last phenomenon happened about 20 years ago."

Victor: "If it were 20 years ago, most of the crown members probably weren't even aware of their curse themselves."

Kate: "Right, that's true. Um, if it were 20 years ago, Ellis..."

Ellis: "I think it was around the time I finally started talking."

Victor & Kate: "Cute."

Ellis: "Fufu, both of you are thinking out loud."

Kate: "Sorry. It just slipped out."

Victor: "Ahem. So, to summarize, tomorrow is going to be a dangerous night for you two, considering it's been 20 years since it last happened."

Victor: "We don't know what will happen, so make sure to return before the moon rises."

I carried the scones with Ellis and started wrapping them one by one.

Kate: "By the way, the decorations in this dining hall are amazing."

Ellis: "It's a tradition. I've been helping Victor with it every year."

Somewhere in the middle of our chat, he suddenly muttered something.

Ellis: "Can I really spend tomorrow with you?"

Kate: "What?"

Ellis: "Aren't you afraid to be with me?"

Ellis: "If you're even a little scared, I'd rather stay away."

Ellis: "I want to make you happy, not scare you."

(Is it because we don't know what might happen tomorrow?)

I realized that neither of us really knew what to expect tomorrow.

(But I know for sure that he would never do anything to scare me.)

(And I don't want to be afraid of him.)

Kate: "I want to be with you. It's our first Halloween together, after all."

Ellis: "Thank you, Kate. Actually, I wanted to be with you too."

His sweet smile made me smile in return.

Kate: "Then we're in this together."

Ellis: "Yeah, together."

Ellis: "But I can't even begin to imagine what might happen if my curse intensifies."

(Right. Speaking of which...)

Kate: "You know, I might not even know what your curse is."

Ellis: "Oh, you don't? In that case, why don't you guess?"

William was cursed with the king's self-righteousness, so I think his sins would be self-righteousness and condemnation.

(Ellis is cursed with Thorns, so thinking along those lines...)

Kate: "Stabbing someone?"

Ellis: "Fufu, that's cute but slightly incorrect."

Kate: "Um, then..."

I pondered, and Ellis looked at me, smiling.

Ellis: "You look so cute as you search for answers. I think I'll keep it a secret for a little longer."

Ellis: "I'd prefer if you never found out, but if you figure it out, please tell me."

The next day, we headed out to town with the scones.

While Halloween in England might be considered less vibrant than in some other places, the town was livelier than usual, and you could sense the excitement in the air.

Fruit Vendor Granny: "Oh, Ellis, Miss. Happy Halloween!"

Ellis: "Hello, Anna."

Ellis: "Trick or treat."

Fruit Vendor Granny: "Trick or treat?"

Ellis: "Yes, treat. Here you go."

Fruit Vendor Granny: "Oh my, are these homemade? I'm so happy, thank you both."

Bookstore Owner: "Hey there, Ellis! Miss Kate! Oh, that's candy, isn't it?"

Bookstore Owner: "Then, if you don't mind. Trick or treat!"

Ellis: "Here you go, enjoy. It's loaded with butter, so it's sure to be delicious."

Child in a ghost costume: "Big brother, big sister! Trick-or-treat!"

Ellis: "Be careful not to trip. Here you go."

(Hehe, Ellis is really popular! And everyone seems to be having fun.)

As the sun began to set, the scones gradually began to decrease.

Kate: "Wow, they're all gone. That was quick."

Ellis: "Yeah. Oh, by the way..."

Ellis: "Want to do some trick-or-treating with me, too?"

(With me?)

Kate: "Trick-or-treat?"

Ellis: "Here. I saved the last one just for you."

Kate: "But if I take it, then you won't have any."

Ellis: "I'm fine. If you're happy, that's enough for me."

Ellis: "Or did you want to play a trick on me?"

Kate: "This one is fine. Thank you."

Ellis: "Fufu, you're welcome."

(He really always thinks about others' happiness.)

He gave me the last piece of candy without hesitation, prioritizing other people's feelings over his own.

Every time I saw him like that, I found his kindness endearing and, yet, a bit lonely.

(I want to make him happy, not just receive from him.)

Bar Owner: "Ellis, Missy! As a thank you for the scones, come by the tavern sometime. I'll treat you to a drink."

Ellis and I both look up at the sky simultaneously.

The sun had just started to set, and it seemed like there was still some time before the moon would appear.

Ellis: "Kate, are you ready to head back, or would you like to stay with me a bit longer?"

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Premium ╎ Epilogue

#ikemen villains #ikemen villain #ellis twilight #ikevil ellis #ikevil #ikevil translations #cybird #ikevil victor

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youkaigakkou-tl · 3 months

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The TRUTH behind the soul pieces

Preamble: I started writing this expecting nothing, but I actually found something??? not clickbait???? gone right???

Warning: the expected reaction of reading this is “damn. I’ve never seen someone grasp harder at straws” and “I dunno about this one chief”

So. "The soul pieces aren't exactly what we're told they are" is an idea I've had for a while now. (I wouldn’t even call it a theory, it’s just a passing thought.) Not that "they're manifestations of Haruaki's traits" is wrong, but I think there's more to them than immediately obvious. I just haven't talked about this much because even I don't fully buy into it and it kinda verges on horoscope-type confirmation bias territory. It’s kind of a, I THINK there’s more to it but I don’t know what exactly is more.

A brief recap

First one shown is his "worldly desires", animal trio vs Seiryuu.

Second is his "freak athleticism", that Kurahashi's team and Ebisu just ran into.

With just these two he runs off to find Sano

Third is his "cowardice", found by Sano's team and Byakko, which gets away and hides in Sano's pocket.

Fourth is his "memory", originally found by Hijita's team and Genbu, which gets picked up by Genbu and then the whole Heian flashback happens.

And last is his "intelligence", which for some reason is also the one that can use his exorcism power.

So immediately a couple details stood out to me.

Why is "memory" here?? I wouldn't call that a trait exactly??

Also, when it first broke apart and flew off in five directions, it's specifically pointed out that it's "like a five pointed star" (even though it's not really if you look at the actual locations on a map lol)

And the sticking point, if it was as clean and simple a split as “Haruaki’s traits”, why do the traits bleed into each other? “Athleticism” is into sailor uniforms too, and “Cowardice” and “Intelligence” are pretty quick by themselves. Also, even without his “Memory” at the time, he remembered that conversation with Seimei in ch87.

The five pointed star detail, considering everything in the arc heavily relates to the Four Gods and Seimei's star, which relates to Wuxing, almost begs to be referencing that too.

What is Wuxing?

Wuxing, five elements, five phases, gogyo, whatever other name for it: I’ve talked about it briefly in my Kyoto arc analysis

(Wait. Is this actually all I mentioned regarding Wuxing in that analysis???? This tells you nothing!!)

(Tbh I think I had a longer explanation about it but I cut it because I thought it was irrelevant)

Wuxing 五行, roughly translated as five elements or phases, is a concept that comes from Taoism. The five elements are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water and describes the interactions between them. Here’s the wikipedia page if you really want to get into the details.

The “xing” means movements/moving, and the entire concept of Wuxing comes from the five classical planets’ (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) movements affecting… things? In general? (It’s horoscopes)

In fact, the names of those five planets in Chinese and Japanese are tied with the Wuxing:

Mercury = 水星 water star

Venus = 金星 metal/gold star

Mars = 火星 fire star

Jupiter = 木星 wood star

Saturn = 土星 earth star

You’re taught these as a kid but not the reasoning behind it (because it’s hella irrelevant lmao) but I guess it kinda makes instinctual sense? (Venus = yellow, Mars = red, Jupiter = stripes, like tree rings?? Saturn = brown. Mercury = it looks like there’s rivers? idk how much detail they were seeing in the BC times)

And just to sate curiosity, the planets that were discovered after telescopes were invented are just based off the English names

Uranus = 天王星 sky god star

Neptune = 海王星 sea god star

Pluto = 冥王星 underworld god star

By the way, this is also why the days of the week are named after elements in Japanese; it’s not actually the elements, rather it’s referring to the celestial bodies: those 5 planets + the moon and the sun. It’s the classical Chinese system that Japan adopted around the 5th century AD, and they haven’t changed it since then. (Chinese uses stuff like “weekday 1” for monday now.) And China itself adopted the Greco-Roman system of the 7 day week, days named after celestial bodies around the 4th century AD, which is also why the planets and days line up if you look at the English and Japanese names now.

Would be crazy if they independently decided to have 7 days in a week and name days after celestial bodies and assigned the same planets to the days huh.

(Also, TIL from looking at this chart that the sun (taiyang) is indeed called that because it’s the “great yang star”, and the moon is called the “great yin star”, you know, like yin-yang)

I’m remembering why it’s so hard to research and write about this stuff now. Everything is so inextricably connected to everything else its hard to talk about one thing in isolation. Thanks for indulging my astronomy tangent I love astronomy.

(I always got saturn on da mind when I think about Seimei cus of this art…)

The only useful part of this essay

So. Wuxing. Here’s a pretty standard diagram of it so it’s easier to visualise

There are five types of processes Wuxing describes:

Generating: Wood feeds fire

The reverse side of generating: Fire burns wood

Regulating: Wood grasps earth

Excessive regulating (destruction): Wood depletes earth

The reverse side of regulation (exhaustion): Earth rots wood

And here’s a full list of it, from wikipedia

With this in mind, you’ll notice that it pops up all over the place in Kyoto arc!

If we take lightning as aligned with metal (because Byakko = metal = lightning user), this is the regulating interaction of metal -> wood

Metal cuts wood, but wood also dulls metal

Water… nourishing wood….???

Water destabilizes earth

(“This is just pokemon lol” WRONG!! Pokemon types and every other element system in videogames came from Wuxing!! (Or Godai))

Back to the soul pieces

So you see, it’s incredibly tempting to connect the five soul pieces with the five elements of Wuxing. It’s basically begging for it. The Wuxing has been associated with lots of things that come in sets of five, including things like senses, tastes, smells, emotions, mental qualities, periods of one’s life, body parts. It has applications in divination and traditional chinese medicine after all. If there was a clear, 1-to-1 match between the soul pieces and the elements, you bet I would have talked about it more by now. But the connections are tenuous at best, and even I don’t really believe it. They might, probably, just be the traits we’re told they are. So this really is just to humor myself, and maybe someone can glean something more from this.

Let’s lay out the things surrounding the soul pieces:

“Desires” was at Arashiyama (a bamboo forest) and Seiryuu was present, both associated with Wood

“Athleticism” was at Ginkaku-ji (silver pavilion), none of the four gods were present, no obvious element associations here.

“Cowardice” was at Mount Kurama (mountain = earth?), Byakko was present (metal?)

“Memory” was at Kiyomizu-dera (clear water temple), and Genbu was present, water association

“Intelligence” was at Kinkaku-ji (gold pavilion), and none of the four gods were present initially. (gold = metal?)

The other thing I’ve yet to mention is all the soul pieces seem to be of different points in Haruaki’s life. (Well. Four of them at least.)

“Desires” and “Athletics” seem to look and act younger (as much as you can tell with chibis…), both wearing simple t-shirts, and “Athletics” t-shirt and shorts look like what Haruaki wore as a kid in the Miki arc flashback. Adding on to that, we’re constantly told how into sailor uniforms Haruaki was as a little kid (literally whenever his childhood gets brought up: Mamaaki talking about it in ch8, him saying his first cry as a newborn was “sailor uniform” in ch43, the ch51.5 extra) (ok to be fair. his sailor uniform fetish gets brought up at every opportunity. but i feel like it’s Pretty emphasized here) Also I feel like “Desires” especially talks like a kid.

Meanwhile “Cowardice” and “Memory” are dressed the way he currently does, and “Cowardice” seems to parallel the way Haruaki was at the start of the series. It’s Sano’s team that runs into him, he acts like how Haruaki did early on just amped way up, and he ends up hiding on Sano.

IQ-kun… still don’t know what to make of him and how he fits into this lol

Put like this, doesn’t it almost seem like, in the order they appear, they represent points in Haruaki’s life too?

Or, this could all be nothing, because they’re all wearing the same thing in the jacket for Volume 14.

So anyway, from this angle, it seems like Desires and Athletics line up fairly cleanly with Wood and Fire respectively, but Cowardice, Memory and Intelligence are a little murkier. Cowardice only somewhat lines up with Earth, and both Memory and Intelligence could align with Water, while Memory could also be Metal. (I dropped the quotation marks bc they were getting distracting)

Here’s a diagram to illustrate.

(See it’s kinda, pick-and-choosey, horoscope-type shit)

Immediately a couple problems arise. First and most majorly is the horoscopey-ness of it all. And then there’s the matter that, if the four gods represent four out of five of the elements and earth is the outlier, wouldn’t it also make sense if IQ-kun as the outlier would be assigned that?

There’s also the possibility that the first four are a set, and IQ-kun makes up the “yin” to the rest of Haruaki’s “yang” (But then what would the first four correspond to individually? idk….)

We’re getting nowhere with this analogy, so let’s look at some adjacent philosophies in sets of five, just for fun, and see if they line up any better.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

This one is the most related to Wuxing, there are five main “organs” in TCM that have associated Wuxing elements. They might be called the same names as the anatomical organs, but they’re actually more like concepts only roughly correlated with locations on the body. This is stuff codified thousands of years ago before modern knowledge of the human body, mind you.

Heart (fire): stores the “aggregate soul” (the mind)

Spleen (earth): governs transportation of qi and blood, and governs muscles and limbs

Lung (metal): stores the “po 魄” (physical soul)

Kidney (water): responsible for willpower or fear

Liver (wood): governs free flow of qi, blood and emotions. Stores blood, which stores the “hun 魂” (ethereal soul)

(The wikipedia page I linked has more in depth descriptions)

And if we sorta line up the attributes…

Desires = Liver/wood

Athleticism = Spleen/earth

Cowardice = Kidney/water

Memory = Lung/metal

Intelligence = Heart/fire

Something like this? It doesn’t line up particularly nicely either, and certainly doesn’t line up with the first theory…

But reading up on this actually brought something useful to my attention: the concept of “hun” and “po”

See, there’s this Chinese compound word “hun po 魂魄” that generally just means “soul”, but if you get really semantic they’re two different types of souls?

The “hun” is the yang-aligned “ethereal soul” typically understood as the wits/mind of a person, whatever constitutes the personality, and is the part of the soul that leaves the body on death.

The “po” is the yin-aligned “physical soul”, sometimes described as the “baser animal spirit” of a person, and is attached to the body.

This could explain why Haruaki’s soul is also Seimei’s soul, but also Seimei is in the underworld?

This scene I got real hung up about in my Kyoto arc post?

It lining up and being a reasonable explanation is one thing, but whether sensei is deliberately referencing a property of Chinese linguistics that doesn’t have an equivalent in Japanese kanji is another thing. And honestly, I could see Tanaka “I’ll have to read up on Chinese history, but off the top of my head Byakko and Seiryuu are from 4000BC and Suzaku and Genbu are younger” Mai could and would do it. (Good god, what I wouldn’t give to see sensei’s notes. Yohaji fanbook explaining every cultural reference PLEASEEEE IM BEGGINGGG)

Godai

Godai (“the five great (elements)”), while also a thing with five elements that features prominently in Japanese culture, differs from Wuxing in that it originates from the concept of Mahābhūta in Indian Buddhism, and features Fire, Water, Earth, Wind and Void. It’s a more inert definition and describes the elements as building blocks, contrasting with Wuxing which is more concerned with the balancing and interaction between the elements and the changes they cause in each other.

Godai also isn’t ever depicted as a star (and Wuxing is only depicted as a star as a byproduct of all the arrows denoting the interactions, sometimes the 5 elements are arranged like the 5 side of a dice with lines connecting everything) and is typically depicted as a Gorinto, a stone structure.

In order from top to bottom, it goes Void, Wind, Fire, Water, Earth, and represents the structure of the universe in Buddhism.

So. Attributes and if they line up any better.

Earth: unmoving, stability

Water: fluidity, adaptability, motion

Fire: passion, power, energy

Wind: growth, freedom

Void: the spirit? thought? there’s not really a clear description of this one. To begin with, originally in Buddhism, it’s just said that “from void emerged air, from air emerged fire, (etc)”

I could see wind = Memory and void = Intelligence, but the rest… I dunno man

The five aggregates in Buddhism

And now, following the thread back from Godai, to the Buddhist concept of Skandhas, or the “five aggregates of clinging”, described as the five factors that make up a sentient being’s personality. (Hey, this sounds like it could be onto something here!)

The five aggregates are:

Form or matter: the material form of a person

Sensation or feeling: the five senses + intellectual sensation, and the feelings that occur whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral

Perception: cognition and recognizing what has been previously noted

Mental formations: dispositions, or something that motivates a person to take action (or sometimes described as the influences of a previous life?!)

Consciousness: cognizance, or the base that supports experience, sometimes translated as mind, intelligence or life force

Wait… This kinda… lines up…? No way…?

Form = Athleticism

Sensation = Cowardice

Perception = Memory

Mental formations = Desires

Consciousness = Intelligence

This… kinda works? They all basically line up and it’s not too tenuous, and there’s enough matching details in the descriptions of the five aggregates that it’s kinda scary…?

I’ll be real, prior to writing this section I hadn’t actually read the descriptions of each of them too carefully (I had the tab open and roughly noted the descriptions kinda worked) and I entirely expected to end this essay with a “in conclusion: no conclusion i learned nothing lol” but there’s actually something here????

And Tanaka Mai is known to reference Buddhism a lot, so this could entirely be intentional…??? I’m kinda shaken rn tbh

I mean, I guess I should have looked to Buddhism first considering sensei’s track record, what with how the arc opened with Haruaki getting put under a waterfall to get rid of his worldly desires, and how 3 out of 5 locations were Buddhist temples, but Buddhism concepts usually use their Sanskrit names and I don’t know how to google for that… (making excuses. classic)

Um. Hope you enjoyed reading this and that you learned something? Here’s all the relevant wikipedia pages if you want to go down your own rabbit hole:

Wuxing (Chinese five elements)

Godai (Japanese Buddhism five elements)

Mahābhūta (Indian Buddhism five elements)

Hun and po (two concepts of souls)

Skandha (five aggregates that make up a person)

Twelve Nidanas (didn’t mention this one, but it’s related to skandhas)

If you read all this you should read all my other long rambly things too if you haven’t, they’re all under the #rambles tag 👍

#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita #a terrified teacher at ghoul school #yohaji #rambles #analysis #i had a whole character arc writing this #there was ups and downs

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