#i hope this made sense bc i am buzzed lol!
Note
do you rmbr that celebratory ig live the boys did and joe was in the back apologizing for thinking he played bad that day and jamarr had to like reassure him that he was fine? lol and that same game he laid on tee's shoulder to say sorry for the overthrows and tee was like "i love you, its okay" 😭 do you know if there's anything in his chart that might make him have that sort of vulnerability despite the fact he's super confident to the public?
awwww i did not know about that bit with tee!! 🤧 but i did hear ja'marr check him, it was a little satisfying ngl lol!
i think that vulnerability comes from joe having a debilitated moon!
despite it being a water sign, scorpio is actually a turbulent sign for the moon, who requires comfort and security. moon enters the domain of mars, a cruel, grimy environment compared to the lush garden in Taurus (moon’s exaltation)
because of scorpio’s stormy nature, i’m sure he finds some of his emotions misplaced, (especially when it comes to his playing abilities) so we see those glimpses of his vulnerability 💌
but!
joe also has jupiter in sag! his strong jupiter will make sure that the right people at the right time will be in front of him to help him navigate the water moon life <3 i can imagine someone telling him it’s okay to be vulnerable out loud, hence our peeks into his inner world <3
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my way to you / jeon wonwoo | chapter 8
➝ Wonwoo x fem!Reader
➝ rich!AU // heir & heiress!AU // best friends to lovers // idiots to lovers lol // fluff // a lil drama bc why not // somewhat angsty // clicheeeee <3
➝ series warning: OC is Dense with a capital D, so many cliches but idc, implied sexual activities (but no actual smut scenes), eventual suggestive scenes, theyre both idiots, food, insecurity and self doubts, somewhat toxic parents, someone fainted like once, not always proofread am sorry ;-; that’s probably it? tell me if there’s more!
➝ A/N: surprise!!!!!! triple update for this week because today's a special day for me so i want to give you smth instead hehe. i'd love to to thank everyone who has dropped by and sent their thoughts with me til now and i hope you're all still enjoying this story. hope you'll like this update <3
series masterlist
You bite down a satisfied grin when you see how pleased everyone is during the charity dinner, trying your best to keep still despite the pride buzzing throughout your body.
Even you’re pleased at how smooth everything is going. You’ve gone a little bit more extravagant than last year, and despite your own doubt about the concept you’ve chosen, it’s getting clearer that it’s the right choice as the night drags on.
“Tired?” a familiar voice whispers, which makes you squeal a little at the sudden warmth at the back of your neck.
“Soonyoung!” you laugh as you hit his arm and then hug him in greeting. “Thank you for coming. Did you use to come to these dinners before?”
“It’s my pleasure, really. I’ve been wanting to greet you since I stepped in but you seem busy so I let you be,” he flashes you a small grin. “My parents usually attend because I’m not really into these events either, but I have to come now, don’t I? Gotta make sure you weren’t acting when you fainted preparing for said event.”
You laugh again at his words, once again thanking him for the food he’s sent before you tell him you still have some leftovers though you’ve eaten most of the food with Wonwoo and the others.
“Where’s Wonwoo, anyway?” he asks as he looks around the place to catch a glimpse of your best friend. “Doesn’t he usually stick with you throughout the event?”
“He has to go around greeting important people,” you grin, telling him this is usually the only time when he leaves your side. “He usually drags me with him, but I said I’m not in the mood to pretend to laugh at their lame jokes so he went alone.”
You’re not sure how long you’ve been standing there speaking with Soonyoung, but it must’ve been longer than you thought because Wonwoo’s back before you know it and, like before, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around your waist the moment he stands beside you while he nods to Soonyoung.
“Done meeting VIPs?” you nudge him with a teasing grin, your body automatically leaning into his. “Did they offer Young Master Jeon any proposal?”
Wonwoo rolls his eyes playfully and pinches your waist, making you welp though you laugh just the same. Soonyoung looks at the sight in front of him with an amused smile, wondering why the two of you aren’t together yet; are you the type of couple who doesn’t want to put a ring on it? Are you still in denial about each other? Or is there any other reason that he’s not aware of?
Whatever it is, it doesn’t make sense.
He thinks it’s obvious that you two belong to each other and he would’ve just made it official if he was Wonwoo. But there’s always something people don’t see behind closed doors and Soonyoung can only guess something’s stopping you both from doing so.
“Hello,” a delicate voice joins your little group, and your eyes find Jennie falling in step right beside Soonyoung, wrapped in a beautiful cocktail dress that stops right before her knees. You can only imagine she probably sews it herself. “I’ve been meaning to catch you guys but I got caught up. It’s a very beautiful party, Y/N, I’m glad I can finally attend Yoon Holdings’ famous charity dinner.”
You smile politely at her, telling the girl you’re also glad she’s able to attend. It might sound like pleasantries, but Jennie is also some kind of public figure on top of her bloodline and you’re actually more than glad that she attends because you’re getting more coverage than the previous year–everyone wants to see Kim Jennie, fashion icon, famous high fashion designer, and Ruby Corp.’s only heiress.
“I love what you did with the decoration; it’s not easy to blend baby blue linings on those tablecloths and the curtains near the entrance,” Jennie says carefully, unsure how you’d take her compliment, But, to her surprise, you thank her for noticing the details because no one says anything about it. “I hope you’re feeling better? Sorry I didn’t get to drop by.”
Something akin to guilt creeps up on you, because it was you who told Wonwoo you don’t really want to meet anyone even though he probably knows you’re just refusing to outright say you don’t want to meet Jennie in particular.
“It’s okay, you’re probably busy too,” you smile awkwardly, very glad that you see Jeonghan and Shua making their way to where you’re at so you're able to steer the conversation elsewhere. Jeonghan takes you away from Wonwoo to his embrace, his arms caging you by the shoulders as he drops a kiss to your forehead.
“You’re lucky the party is wonderful,” he pulls away and narrows his eyes at you. “I wasn’t going to forgive you for fainting if this party was just meh.”
“You think I’d prepare a meh party?” You laugh and reach up to kiss his cheek before moving to Shua and do the same. “Been so long since I saw you in a suit, Mr. Hong.”
“I look good, don’t I?” he grins, not minding the way Jeonghan snickers at him. The night goes on like that, Chaeyoung joins in later on and then steps away because her parents call her to meet someone, Jinyoung and Jisoo make their way to your group too, and some of Wonwoo’s friends stop by to make pleasantries until eventually everyone goes to do their own stuff until it’s just you and Wonwoo again.
“That’s… a lot of talking,” you say after everyone has left.
Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, but he opens his arm and you readily step back into his embrace and buries your forehead into his shoulder. You don’t know how to explain it exactly; but Wonwoo smells like home–feels like home. Like a mug of hot chocolate when it’s raining outside, like the soft breeze of wind that hits your face when you’re out on the beach, like your favorite blanket that you curl yourself into when it’s been a long day.
“Wanna leave?”
“Are you insane?”
The stern tone you’re using makes him chuckle, and you feel the plump of his lips on your head before he nudges you and whispers that your parents are coming this way. His arm doesn’t falter from your waist, and your parents greet him before they address you.
“Good job as always, princess.” Something akin to pride blooms in your chest at his words, though the nickname makes you cringe inside, and not in the way that you cringe because it’s embarrassing, it just feels alien and shouldn’t be. You think it’s because it’s him saying it instead of the man next to you and the straight tone he’s using. Your father calls you that from time to time, but only when his mood is particularly good because you did something for the company. “Perhaps we should build an EO company for you; you’re clearly talented and invested in this field.”
Everything’s a business to your father, which is something that you thought you’ve learnt to accept since long ago. But, evidently, the very sentence he’s just said only proves otherwise.
Why couldn’t he praise you for the event and leave it there? Was it really necessary to point out that there’s a possibility to monetize this and put you in yet another company? You don’t even bother denying something very bitter in your mouth the moment the words are out of his mouth.
Your mother talks about how some of her friends are pleased by the food choice and flowery gate you’ve put on the entrance, and you just know that she’s going to talk about their single sons sooner or later.
But Wonwoo swipes in and turns the topic into something else to entertain them before eventually saying his parents were looking for them earlier, something that your father just can’t resist because he’s always liked talking to Wonwoo’s dad, one of the very few people that he considers equal to him. He pats Wonwoo on the back before telling you once again that you did a good job before walking away to find Mr. & Mrs. Jeon.
“Thank you,” you huff at Wonwoo after they’re out of earshot.
“Should we go?”
You hum, a look that Wonwoo can only describe as sad flashing across your face. It’s gone just as fast as it appears though, and the weak smile you give him afterwards before you square your shoulder and pull him to the desert table breaks him a little.
You’re quiet for a while, like you always are after an episode with your parents, and then you start talking about the sweet treats on your hands as if to distract yourself from the short interaction earlier.
It’s never easy with your parents, and if there’s anyone who understands the entirety of how shitty they make you feel, it’s Wonwoo. Not even Shua or Jeonghan who are literally related to them by blood.
Jeonghan is a family person, and as much as he understands that your relationship with your parents isn’t ideal, he’s the type of person who also thinks that family is family. He’d never truly understand.
Shua would understand. But you’re not letting him because he takes care too much of you already so you never confide him in even though he knows.
You know Shua is aware of your feelings, but Shua has never been the type to push so he never asks even though it’s clear that it bothers him not knowing. He waits. He patiently waits until you open up because he wants you comfortable speaking about it.
Hence you choose to never say anything about it altogether.
“I… kind of want to be alone for a while,” you whisper eventually, and despite the fact that it’s normal for you to be like this, it worries him still. “Cover for me?”
He nods nevertheless, because he knows you need it and then takes off his suit and puts it around your shoulders. You’re probably going to the balcony for a breather like you usually would. Wonwoo reaches for your fingers and squeezes them firmly before letting go.
“Don’t catch a cold.”
And then you’re gone.
Wonwoo tries his best to make pleasantries and entertain the guests, telling everyone that’s looking for you that you’re touching up your makeup or that you’re taking an important call somewhere. No one finds it odd–at least no one that’s not close to you because when Shua asks, Wonwoo simply gives him the look and he immediately understands–no one except for Jennie.
“Is she in trouble?” she asks, genuinely concerned. She has just returned from the restroom when she spots Wonwoo by himself, his suit missing and he’s looking at his phone. Naturally, she makes her way to him. “I know you’re lying, Jeon. She couldn’t have gone this long if she’s simply touching up her makeup.”
“Just… personal stuff,” he gives in, figuring out that he could tell her at least that much. “She needs to be alone at times.”
It’s such a simple sentence, one that wouldn’t mean much to other people in passing. But it gets Jennie pondering to herself and then contemplating whether or not to say what’s on her mind.
“Do you realize how attached you are to her?”
Wonwoo looks at her, confused, and Jennie helpfully explains further.
“It’s just… I know you’re worried and you don’t want to leave her alone. But you know she needs it so you’re here, covering for her, even though you can’t stop glancing at the entrance every few seconds. You’re so… emotionally attached to her, you know? And I don’t mean it in a bad way. It just really amazes me. And even though it was obvious since we were kids that you’re both dependent on each other, I never thought it would go on until now.”
Is it really that obvious? Wonwoo thinks to himself. To the point where Jennie, who barely sees you both, can point it out?
If he’s being completely honest, Wonwoo knows his feelings aren’t subtle enough—at least not to the people close to him. No one has ever really pointed it out though, perhaps aware that Wonwoo isn’t really one to talk about what he feels. So to have Jennie saying it to his face isn’t something that Wonwoo expects to face tonight.
“I don’t mean to prod, I promise,” she says, afraid that Wonwoo might think she’s being nosy. He doesn’t though, just mainly dumbfounded to hear how people outside his circle but close enough perceive the both of you. “I’m really just amazed and, like I said the other day, I’m envious of your friendship. And… umm…”
She hesitates for a bit, the look on her face close to discomfort. Wonwoo simply stares at her though, a curious eyebrow raised as if allowing her to continue if she wants.
“Umm… I hope you’re not going to take this the wrong way, but it’s also pretty obvious that you love her more than that.”
His eyes widen in surprise, coughing to mask his uneasiness, truly not expecting anyone, let alone Jennie, to ever say those words out loud. Perhaps because it’s Jennie who says it, someone he’s just close enough with, but it hits him more than it would had it been Shua or Jeonghan who said it to him.
Jennie looks at him timidly, a little unsure about his reaction. Nevertheless, she continues to speak in a hushed tone, trying to convince him that it’s a good thing and that you’re lucky to have him love you that way.
Wonwoo stays silent though, his mouth a little ajar and his eyes still widen in shock. Is he shocked because she’s being too honest? Or is he in denial about his feelings? “You’re not… unaware of your feelings, right?”
For a few seconds, Wonwoo is too stunned to speak. But then he steps closer and Jennie actually holds her breath because she’s flustered, not in the way that she has butterflies in her stomach but in the way that she’s afraid that she’s offended him somehow.
“Is… is it that obvious?” he says instead, his voice a little shaky. Jennie hates to be the one to break it to him, but she nods and whispers that anyone with eyes and just enough sense would know he’s into you.
“I–”
“Wonwoo?” your voice cuts him off and Wonwoo immediately turns away to see still you wrapped in his suit.
You eye the both of them, and then subtly frown at the proximity when you realize just how close the two are standing to each other. It doesn’t help that Jennie looks a little flustered too, like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing, and you think you hear her say something along the lines of ‘we’ll talk about it some other time’ before she excuses herself to find someone.
The whole thing just seems off to you and you can’t help but feel uneasy at the interaction. Has Wonwoo always been that close to Jennie?
“Feeling better?” he softly asks as he reaches for your fingers. His own fingers feel warm against yours, almost enough to make you forget about the uneasiness you felt just now.
Almost.
You shrug, not really up to talk about it, you step closer to him though, because even though there’s a queasy feeling in your stomach because of what you’ve just seen seconds ago, this is still your Wonwoo who brings you comfort when you need it most.
“What were you talking about with Jennie?”
He’s a little surprised to say the least, not expecting you to ask.. You never talk about her, after all. But he shakes his head and squeezes your fingers, his voice a little too strained than he would’ve liked. “Just… something.”
It’s really nothing, but you frown at the way he sounds a little defensive–like he has a secret he’s willing to share with Jennie but not you.
He never does that.
“Really?” you try one more time, looking at him expectantly.
“Mhm,” he hums and reaches out to fix the strands of hair that escapes your ear. His palm pats your cheek once before he closes the topic by saying it’s not important and changes it into something else.
It’s normal, something that Wonwoo often does when he doesn’t wish to talk about something. Wonwoo isn’t exactly a man of many words, after all. You’re used to it and you’re not exactly someone who prods either, especially when it’s Wonwoo. You understand him more than you understand yourself.
So why are you upset that Wonwoo’s doing something he always does?
What’s this uncomfortable feeling inside your chest, settling itself deep within yourself the more you replay the way Wonwoo brushes off the topic like he doesn’t want you to know about it?
©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.
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What do you think would happen if MC (in an attempt to keep it away from him) tucked Goldie under their boob?
[A bra is the best wallet but underneath even a C-cup boob is damn near Fort Knox (or the tower of London, I.e. Impenatrable fortresses)]
lmaooo. Let’s us gather round and pray for Mammon’s remaining sanity. What little remands. The himbo never saw it coming.
I’m weak and got a little spicy at the end, apologies if that’s not what you wanted my heart was thirsty for ONE greed man;.;
A/N I originally called this work Tiity prison bc I have a sense of humor lol.
Hope ya like!
To say he is conflicted is an understatement. Depending on when and where you do the titty lockdown will change how he reacts.
If it's at school, he is a mess. I’m talking about the works. He’s red in the face, can’t focus, and sweating the whole rest of the school day. He is definitely torn between fighting his goldie withdrawals and making a pass at your chest.
He won’t do the latter, as much as he threatens it. He may be scummy but he has a code of conduct (most of the time). You get a kick out of watching him try not to stare at your chest and getting smacked by Lucifer when caught.
If it’s on Lucifer’s orders to keep his card away from him he’ll have a bit more control but will bitch the WHOLE day. Honestly, you might give it back just to shut him up.
He won’t outright grab your chest or physically try to snatch it. He’ll try to be sneaky about it. Dropping stuff and making you bend over to grab it. “I swear I ain’t try nothin’”. Right.
If desperate enough he’ll just downright pick you up off your feet and jiggle you like a piggy bank. Like I said, he has a code of conduct. It’s just kinda flexible sometimes.
“C-come on! Give ‘er back.” Mammon pleads, pulling off his classic bagger’s pout. Good thing you were immune. His toned arms cage you in, your back resting on one of the school’s marble walls. “How am I going to buy lunch?”
“I made you lunch.” You laugh. Ducking under his arms you make your way to the dining hall ignoring his flustered shouts. He’ll follow soon enough. The promise of your cooking and potentially nabbing goldie back was too great for him to ignore. Sure enough, he slinks in a few minutes after you. His shades now out and perched on his nose. Even hidden under the tinted glasses, you could see his flushed cheeks and darting eyes. “Better eat now, Beel is going to join us today.” You say around a mouthful of food. He whines but forces himself to focus on his quickly cooling food.
He follows you even closer than before after lunch, barely a hair’s breadth from your back. His clever fingers pinching and pulling at the bottom of your shirt in the crowded hallway. “Please~” He whimpers through his teeth after your swat his hands away again. “I swear I won’t use her.”
You plop down at your desk. “If you’re not going to use her, then she is safe where she is.” You stick your tongue out and give the boob hiding goldie a lovely squeeze. Mammon groans as if stabbed, teeth bared and fangs growing in a mix of frustration and want. “Babe come on. Ya’ killing me.” His eyes are glued to where your hand rests.
Before you can respond a leather-clad hand smacks Mammon across the back of his head. Mammon yips in fright. “I will kill you first if you don’t keep your eyes up at the board.” The cold warning from Lucifer was enough to shut you both up for the rest of the class. You watch him disappear when the bell chimes. His next period was across campus while you were stuck here for another hour. Your phone buzzes the moment his designer boots disappear out the door.
Pretty Boy: what did you do to Mammon?
You: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
You catch Asmo’s eye from his seat a few rows back from you. He winks at you, thumbs flying across his lit screen.
Pretty Boy: Bull- tell me your secrets. I haven’t seen him that flustered in eons, not since Helen paid a visit.
You: Got “asked” by Lucifer to keep Goldie away from Mammon for the day. A limited edition car he wants just got released. Luci is still paying off Mammon’s last shopping spree, so he’s on ice till tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty Boy: Ouch- you not telling him where it is?
You: Oh no. He knows exactly where it is. He is just too nervous to go for it.
You hear Asmo’s scandalous gasp behind you earning you both a glare from the professor. You bite your tongue to hide a chuckle. The professor turns with a huff, and Asmo starts up all over again.
Pretty Boy: Is it in your pants! Can I take a look ;*
You: No and No.
Pretty Boy: Ah- he was always a chest man. Good luck with that, he can hold out for only so long :)
What does that mean? You whip your head around waiting for an explanation text. Asmo has the gall to ignore you, busy reapplying his lip gloss. Even if he wasn’t looking at you, you knew that impish smile was for you. Turning back around in your seat you shiver, now you weren’t sure if you should be scared or excited.
The rest of the day passes quietly. Too quietly. It gives you the jitters. Every corner of the school could be a potential hiding spot for one conniving demon. You weren’t expecting him to attack you, not outright. Yet, you were expecting some sort of retaliation. The last bell of the day came sooner than you expected and it was time for afterschool activities. Packing your bag you wave off Beel and Satan, assuring them you would be fine to walk to the music and arts wing by yourself. They had their own clubs to get to anyway.
Making your way to your activity you feel the hair on the back of your neck began to rise. Something wasn’t sitting right with you. You look up and around. No one was in the corridors, not even a stray teacher rushing to the breakroom. Odd. You peak over your shoulder and frown. Even the air was still. Chalking it up to a probably very haunted school, you pick up the pace. Even if you didn’t believe in the ghost stories like Luke, it was best to just never find out. No matter what hallway you took or how fast you walked the feeling of being watched only intensified. Your flight or fight instinct kicked in.
Who could you call if you need help? Where in the hells was Mam- was that your pencil case? You skid to a halt bemused. There, in the middle of the floor was your favorite case. The calico kitty design stares up at you innocently from the floor. You open your bag to double-check. You could have sworn you had thrown it in there after last period. Did it fall out? Had you taken this path before? You approached it cautiously, bending down to grab it.
Strong arms wrap around your waist locking around you like a spring trap. They lift you up and up and up. It was so sudden you could do nothing but squeak in surprise, pencil case clutched tightly to your chest. Were you really going to die here? Caught in such a childish trap...wait. “Seriously Mammon!” The fear disappears, replaced now with exasperation. He grunts ignoring your words to shake you slightly. You yelp feeling goldie and your bra shift. “Oh, my Gods. Mammon! I know you can do better than this.”
“Shut up! I’m desperate.”
Unbelievable. "That's the best you got? Really, I’m kinda insulted." Mammon stops shaking you, his arms loosening enough for you to turn around to face him. He looks up at you batting his long lashes. “Put me down.” It wasn’t a pact order, but firm. He pouts but sets you back on the ground gently. Not before giving you a hearty squeeze. You catch his hand sneaking up the side of your shirt with a raised brow. "Why didn't you just make a grab for it in the first place?"
He scoffs turning pink. "'M allowed ta just cop a feel whenever I want now?"
"Absolutely not, not in public at least. I like you breathing."
“Could have fooled me,” Mammon chuckles. He glances around the empty hallway then back to you. A slow rolling purr starts deep in his throat. "Though, there is no one here now." Slowly his dexterous fingers glide back over your sides. His touch is searing on your shirt. You could feel goldie pulsing underneath the cotton of your bra. The plastic seemingly growing warmer than your skin as his hand travels closer. You do nothing, watching his face grow hungrier with each passing centimeter as he gets close to his prize. “What’s stopping me now?”
“Just you.” He stops at the side of your chest, eye wide and greedy. You could feel him trying to temper himself. His adrenaline, fear, lust, and his raw cardinal desire thicking the air around you. It all pulsed red hot in his veins and travels down to yours. He wanted more than just goldie now. His natural magnetism pulling you in closer. You wanted him, you wanted him to just take it- take everything. The pact mark slams shut, its heat snuffed out like a candle. "Mammon?" Had your teasing gone too far?
"Hold tight to her till tonight." He growls tapping your chest possessively. His many gold rings resemble talons as he drags his fingers across the stitching of your school uniform. "I'll come for her tonight," He leans in, smoke and leather clouds your sense. "and I'll be taking a tithe for all the trouble you caused me too." His husky promise sends a shiver down your spine, gut twisting in anticipation. Mammon's bright blue eyes jump over your shoulder, a frown grows on his beautiful face, he could hear footsteps approaching from your club room. Probably the angels looking for you. Brushing his lips across your cheek he parts, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Be ready. You know I always come to collect."
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Messy.
ONE-SHOT
Word count: 2793
Disclaimer: One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.
Warning: None
Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)
Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now. At long last it it FINISHED.
Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.
Without further ado, here ya go.
Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.
Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.
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The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching.
She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’
Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again.
Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately.
Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being.
Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could.
“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”
He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’
Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’
Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.
‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated.
He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that.
But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’
“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”
“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?”
He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’
Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”
Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…
But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’
Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”
“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”
“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”
“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”
Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him.
“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’
“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.
“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.
He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.
* * *
“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.
Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’
“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.
“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”
“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.
‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘
“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”
Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.
“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”
Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.
“Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”
“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”
“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”
An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’
“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”
A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”
“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”
Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.
He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this.
Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways… but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’
* * *
“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.
‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.
“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”
When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”
Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.
“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.
‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?
It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.
That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.
Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.
Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’
Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…
‘Zoro was crying.’
Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.
One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.
‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’
“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”
‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.
“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.
A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”
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I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!
first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs.
The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post.
also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.
Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:
POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE
On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies.
It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t).
On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.
So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao.
//
Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside.
“Rebecca?”
“Come inside. Now.”
Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”
Rebecca doesn’t answer.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked.
“Desmond’s alive.”
Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”
“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”
“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy.
“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands.
Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...
“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen.
“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up.
“The Initiates.” (bc who else)
Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much.
“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly.
And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again.
They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything.
Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles.
The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?”
“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he?
“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies.
“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.”
Everyone’s silent for a few moments.
“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question.
There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.
This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city]. ???
//
Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that.
Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.
What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol.
What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond.
The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him.
The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail.
Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically).
Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge.
They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them.
She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!
The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.
They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.
They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch).
The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock.
They’re both looking at Desmond Miles.
Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.
Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion;
“What the fuck is happening?”
///
ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon
#desmond (sorta) lives au#desmond miles#rebecca crane#shaun hastings#galina voronina#william miles#Assassin's Creed#THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK i saw it this morning and have spent the day wanting to write this down but being in lessons /:#i know it's a complete mess however you'll have to excuse me i got excited#you opened a can of worms darling anon#I know I just used it as an excuse to Go Off but uh... sorry lol#asscreed#potes wrotes#sort of#thanks for the ask!#the night that the sun came up
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✨Hellowzz👋
Would you mind sharing about Aquarius Neptune sextile Sagittarius Ascendant?👀
Thank you-🌸😅
Everything about this ask is ~a vibe~, so I will answer it on a script font.
I often don't fixate a lot on outer planets BUT when they touch angles of the chart of are very present I do so,,,,
Ppl with this (not to be cliche or anything) are often perceived as cloudy?? like,, there is often this ethereal quality about them, like for example if there is a talkative person you could say oh you know they are charming bc they are so talkative and friendly BUT, with this you can't pin point what it is that makes the person so charming and or interesting,,, neptune tends to sort of mix with the energy that the ascendant already has and it amplifies it in a way, so there is always this effect to some degree.
With sag/aqua together I think there is always this feeling of unpredictability about the person?? (this might be misspelled do not mind me), even if the individual is not acting all zesty for life ™️ or talking much or doing things that are very fire rising sign-like, you could feel that energy sort of buzzing lol
Cool side of this placement is that the individual is almost always (for better or worst deppeneding on your taste) very captivating, intuitive and creative, down side is that ppl will project themselves a lot on the person, and also the person itself might struggle with keeping up with the image everyone else boxes them in OR they could feel not appreciated bc ppl are not seeing them for who they are.
I really do hope this made sense,,, if not I AM SO SORRY!!!
#I could be more coherent and I should but I fail explaining things sometimes#mostly bc I explain things through observations rather than text book style
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anonymous:
I just discovered your mdzs pronunciation stuff and it's super helpful!!! Especially to an english speaker, it's so helpful to hear everything pronounced slowly! Would you ever consider doing more but on Chinese basics? Like tones, or differences between similar sounds? (But please don't feel obligated! Just a suggestion bc I find your pronunciation super helpful :)
hhhhh the file was too big for tumblr :’) even after I exported it at medium instead of standard quality, so i made a soundcloud after all aha.... it’s downloadable, even!
anyways! chinese school with cyan? :D transcript with helpful links under the cut.
previous chinese pronunciation posts with pinyin if you want to go back review them armed with new knowledge to practice: mdzs names 1, mdzs names 2
rough transcript (brackets indicate things i didn’t say but wanted to add as a note, or laughs lol):
hello everyone! okay, so I’m going to make an attempt to do some basic pinyin, I guess, a basic pinyin post? so the goal is by the end you should be able to hopefully! look at basic pinyin or any pinyin word and get a general sense of how it might sound. this is not comprehensive, and you shouldn’t take it as such, but i hope you might be able to get a good foundation out of it? I don’t know, just for sort of, a basic general overview.
I’ll use some MDZS words or names or whatever to I guess keep it fun as examples? But the rules should be generally applicable across the board. This is geared towards native English speakers because that’s what I am. I am not a linguist, just a layperson, so I’m going to be explaining like a layperson.
So, this is pinyin with cyan! chinese school with cyan. horrible, I thought i escaped this [laugh] oh, all those horrible saturdays. [all sounds will be read with first tone unless otherwise indicated]
okay, so, I’m going to do the basic vowels first. there are five so it’s: a o e i u ü
so I’ll do that a — oh wait, no there’s six, oh gosh! okay. bad start! so there are SIX basic vowels: a o e i u ü
so i’ll do that one more time: a o e i u ü
so there’s actually a seventh vowel sound, but we can get to that in a minute. it’s not included in the orthography.
so ü is usually the hardest for native english speakers since it doesn’t exist in english, but a friend of mine recently explained it really well. so if you say “ee” just like, “ee” like in creek or something like that, then shape your lips as if you’re saying “oo”. so if you speak french or german, it might be easier for you, those are just the two languages I’m familiar with. the ü is the same as the ü in german, like in die Tür, in french it’s just like you know, la lune, mur, etc.
basically say “ee” then move your lips until it looks like you’re saying “oo” — eeeeeüüüü or you can do the opposite, you can say “oo” then move your tongue as if it’s saying “ee” so: ooooüüüüüü. ü. and that’s basically it.
so now i’m going to do the initial consonants. that’s all the vowels. but the initial consonants, the consonants, or the consonant sounds that can start words, there are… well there’s not that many, but I’ll go through them really quick. there is an order, and every consonant is associated, every initial consonant is associated with a natural vowel sound and they come in groups. the order that i learned them in is this:
b p m f • d t n l g k h • j q x • z c s zh ch sh r
[repeated slower]
b(o) p(o) m(o) f(o) • d(e) t(e) n(e) l(e) g(e) k(e) h(e) • j(i) q(i) x(i) • z(i) c(i) s(i) zh(i) ch(i) sh(i) r(i)
I think the official one [the official order, i mean] might have the z c s and the zh ch sh r switched, but it doesn’t really matter they’re both in the same group. so you’ll notice that there are only four naturally associated vowels: o e i and ï [not sure if this is technically the right way to write it, but it’s convenient for illustrative purposes here].
so ï is the one that’s with the z c s, zh ch sh r group. I also think this is a pretty hard vowel to pronounce for english speakers, but i don’t really have a handy way of explaining it. i’ll try though!
so for things like the z c s sounds: say “sss” like you would in english. “ssss” then change your lips to the way you say “ee” and then vocalize without moving your tongue. so you can also produce this sound without changing your lip shape, but doing so will kind of force it, or make it easier to find I think. so ssssssi. sssssi. so that was me doing the whole process with saying ssss and then moving my lips and then vocalizing. but i can also do it with my lips rounded. “si”. that’s me with lips rounded, but having the lips wide like that helps i think
[or you can just vocalize “zzzzz” like in “buzz” or “jazz”. that zzzzzz sound gives you the vowel you want. that probably would’ve been an easier way to explain it haha.]
for the zh ch sh r sounds, to get that, you can say “juh” like how you would say j, a j sound in english, so it’s “juh” but dont’ say the “uh” just stick to the “j”. so that’s the zh sound. “zhii” just like hold it. then ch sh r. I don’t know, I think that’s pretty intuitive once you get those.
in terms of the consonants that i think that are difficult, they are d, j q x and z maybe? so i’ll go over them.
so d taps the palate in english, “duh”, “duh”. the d sound, it taps further back on the little bump [on the roof of your mouth] there, but it taps on the teeth in chinese. I think it’s a non-aspirated t sound? so say “tuh” but then instead of having that breath, just take that out. “de”. it’s a non-aspirated t, it taps in the same spot. so that’s the d, the “de” sound.
j q x, it’s the same sort of things, if you stretch your lips, I think i helps to move it into the right space. so instead of “juh” it’s “ji”. “ji”. “ji ji ji ji”. “qi”, “xi”. the q has the “ch” sound, but instead of sitting so far in the front, it sits a little further back [in the mouth]. instead of “ch” which is the ch, it’s “qi”, which is moving further back. and same with “xi”. instead of “sh” it’s “x”. i don’t know if that helps [laugh]. but instead of “sh” it’s “x”. so “xi”.
again, instead of “ch” it’s “q” and instead of “sh” it’s “x” [laugh]
[I forgot to talk about z oops. it’s basically a combination of d and z in english: “dz”. like the end of “hands”. that “dz” sound.]
okay, so, you can start a word with any of the vowels, any of them can be initials, but some of them will change orthography when they’re at the start of a word. so i think it’s pretty intuitive, but a o e all stay the same. but the “i” sound, the i, turns into a y, the “u”, the u, turns into a w, and the “ü”, the ü turns into yu. so “yu”.
okay, so that’s all the initials! that’s it! that’s not too bad.
okay, so now I’m going to start doing the finals, like the ends of words. you can end any word with any of the vowels, but I’m going to include them anyways because it’s in the table. i just copied this table from wikipedia because it’s i think pretty intuitive and clearly stated. they show both how the sound would be written as a full word and how it would be spelled when it was attached to an initial. so basically what i just talked about regarding changing orthography when you start a word with vowels, things like that.
[link to table in wikipedia]
okay starting with the first row, I’m pretty sure this is ï. the i sound that i said was difficult:
[row 1]
so I’m going to do that again. I’m going to do each one twice and then we’re going to move onto the second row.
[row 1 repeated, each sound twice]
okay, now the second row:
[row 2]
so we’re going to do the same thing again, twice each:
[row 2 repeated, each sound twice]
okay, and the third row:
[row 3]
and again, twice each:
[row 3 repeated, each sound twice]
and then the final row:
[row 4]
and then one more time, twice each:
[row 4 repeated, each sound twice]
okay so that’s it, that’s all the finals I think.
so I think -(i)un/yun is probably one of the harder sounds, the -un with the y at the beginning, the -iun? “yun”, with the umlaut. I don’t really know how to explain how to pronounce that one, but you know it’s the… yun [laugh]
okay so a note on u vs ü. when a word begins with j q x or y, and it’s followed by a u, it’s automatically be pronounced as ü even though it will not be marked. so here are some examples.
names like Ā’Yuàn: yuàn. it’s a ü sound automatically, and it’s not marked in the orthography. or Yú Zǐyuān. yú zǐ yuān. same thing. and then with something like in hánguāng-jūn, jūn, the j the “ji” combined with the -un becomes “jun” like the “yun” sound. or Jīn Zixuān. Xuān. Xuān. it’s the ü sound.
so an example of the same final spellings but with different initials. like the yuàn in ā’yuàn — you can see it automatically changes to an ü pronunciation, but spelled the same way the -uan ending, but you have a different starting consonant that’s not one of the exceptions, so “le” — so in luànzàng gǎng. luàn. it’s “u”. luàn. and then for like yú, yú zǐyuān, yú, instead of the ü, in jīn rúlán, rú, rú, it’s the “u” sound, and they’re marked the same way.
okay! yeah that’s pretty much it. that’s like all the basic sounds in chinese, I’m pretty sure. [laugh] it’s not actually that hard. i mean, it’s obviously hard, but there’s not as many sounds as you expect, or it’s less complex than you might think.
so obviously now we have to deal with tones. i know this is the one that everybody finds really scary, but i actually i know it’s easy for me to say because i’m a native speaker, but i actually think they’re very intuitive and easy to hear, as tones go. it’s gonna be fine. anyways, we’re gonna get through it.
here is how i remember tones: I do it with a cadence. and i literally sometimes have to go through this cadence on words when i’m not sure how to identify what tone they are. this is how i learned it, my grandmother taught me this, you know, i mean, it’s very standard, but:
ā á ǎ à
or hummed it’s: ¯ ´ ˇ `
and then I’ll do it again:
ā á ǎ à
¯ ´ ˇ `
so yeah, i really do sing it sometimes when i’m trying to figure out or remember what tone mark goes on something, I go dūh dúh dǔh dùh [laugh] over and over again until i figure it out.
and yeah, that’s it! they’re pretty intuitive, they follow the path of the tone, or the shape of the tone markers. so you can see the ā is flat, the á goes up, the ǎ goes down and then up, ǎ, and then à, the fourth one, just goes down.
so whenever you’re writing a tone mark on a word, they always go on the last vowel UNLESS there’s an a or e present. those always take precedence. I’ll spell out a couple of examples in the text.
[EXAMPLES: hào not haò and méi not meí, but jiù]
[laugh]
so i will go over, um… okay, i think my dad’s having a meeting downstairs, so maybe you’ll hear him in the background, but okay, the last thing i will go over a couple of sandhi rules, just a few! this isn’t all of them, i think there might be five? but i’m just going to do the three that are most relevant or the most commonly seen I think, or the ones that I think about that will trip you up most likely, i think, when you’re pronouncing things.
so the one that everybody knows, or the one that everybody teaches first, i think is the two third tones in a row will cause the first third tone to turn into a second tone. so for example, in Yílíng Lǎozǔ. “Láozǔ”. the two characters by themselves are lǎo and zǔ, but because they’re right next to each other, it becomes láo, second tone, “láozǔ”. [NOTE: the pinyin will still be spelled as lǎozǔ. you will just automatically read it aloud as láozǔ] so instead of “lǎo zǔ”, it’s “láozǔ”.
and then, the second thing that a third tone does is that a third tone that is followed by anything that is not a third tone drops to a thing that is called a low tone, I know i said there are only four, but this is… here’s an example. [there is also the soft tone, which is kind of the absence of tone, but I’m not going to talk about it here haha] in liǎnfāng-zūn, jin guangyao’s title.
liǎnfāng-zūn, you can kinda hear it doesn’t really rise again at the liǎn, liǎn, liǎn, by itself it goes down up, like a valley, but when it’s followed by the rest of the title, liǎnfāng-zūn, it just kinda sits at the bottom and then jumps back up. liǎnfāng-zūn, liǎnfāng-zūn, it just kind of sits at the bottom as opposed to coming back up, so it’s still. it still follows the same curve, it just doesn’t quite come back up i think
i actually had to look that one up, because I was like. oh is that real? i hadn’t noticed it.
but the third tone on its own is just the third tone, so for example, in xuē yáng’s courtesy name, xuē chéngměi, měi, you can hear it there, it comes back up—oh birds!
so xuē chéngměi, měi. dǔh. [laugh]
[LOL I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE THIRD SANDHI RULE I WAS GONNA TALK ABOUT. you can read about it in the link to sandhi rules i’m going to post at the end of the post.]
so yeah, that’s pretty much it actually! hooray! I’m sure, I mean, chinese is a whole language, so it’s complicated, this won’t really get you to a point where you can read pinyin entirely, but i think those are like the basic rules that i use when i’m reading pinyin, but of course, i’ve been reading pinyin for a really long time, that was the primary way i engaged with chinese text for many many years because i was illiterate! i’m still pretty illiterate, but that’s okay. i’m getting better! but yeah, so like i said, this isn’t comprehensive. if it was horribly confusing, if there was stuff in it that just didn’t make any sense, you can ask me questions! I will try to answer them. my brother’s coming home today, and i’ve been using his desk to record because his room has been empty, so i’ll have to figure out something else. but for now, um, yeah!
okay, bye. :)
/end transcript
okay!! so here are the promised links:
tone sandhi rules
very useful interactive table where you can click on sounds to hear them read aloud! (linked to me by @nerd-bastard thank you so much!)
obviously the wikipedia page is very good, though it’s a little dense
@tonyglowheart sent me a thread of someone reading out mxtx names on twitter here! the reader has a different accent than i do (they say they sound like they’re from the northern mainland. i would guess my accent is probably closer to something near shanghai? since I learned pronunciation from my grandmother, and then of course tempered by my american upbringing)
I would probably recommend going back to the other pronunciation posts I made to see a variation of sounds written out with different tones? i feel like that would be helpful!
anyways WOO thanks for your patience, it’s been a minute. brain’s doing kinda oomf these days, but we’re gonna make it :’) state of the world is. something.
normally i would just link my ko-fi here, but this time, i’m going to say check out my donations tag or do your own research into someplace more in need to put your money instead. :)
#chinese#learning chinese#mdzs#pinyin#chinese pronunciation#cyan chinese school#lmfao#new tag i guess#mine#my voice#i have NO idea how useful this is but at this point#*yeets into the void*#long post#cyan help desk#cyan vs heritage#statistically average
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Who are your top five NHL teams and why?
Ooooo this is fun! Thanks anon!
Short list:
Habs ❤️🤍💙
Pens 🐧
Canucks 🌈🌊
Caps 🦅
Leafs 🟦🍁🟦 (no really! I know I don’t talk about them much but its true!)
Over-wordy explanations/backstory for my relationship to each of these teams below the cut for those interested!
Montreal Canadiens. My dearly beloved Nana, who half-raised me, is a lifelong diehard Habs fan who grew up listening to their games on the radio and then later as an adult watching them duel with the Leafs on Saturday nights on a black-and-white tv (also a BIG Carey Price stan). Needless to say she rubbed off on me immensely, and I remember saying to myself at some point “well, if that’s Nana’s team, that’s gonna be my team too” and it stuck for life. I also had a friend in middle school who was a RELIGIOUS Habs fan who also worshipped at the altar of Jesus Price in those early 2010’s, so I heard a LOT about all of that every lunch break as he argued with friends who were Pens and Bruins fans lol. We went on the Bell Centre tour during the annual 9th grade French class trip to Quebec, and while I was mostly focused on getting to the gift shop to buy Nana a souvenir, I swear my friend’s eyes were the size of quarters the whole time lmao. (Would LOVE to go back now that I care a lot). Basically the Habs are the closest thing to a local NHL team our region has bc we get their broadcasts (though people choose their own team allegiances for various random personal reasons), and I grew up absorbing through osmosis both the legends of yore and the latest updates on whatever Carey and PK and the lads were up to. (Also I’ve been quietly in love with Price myself since at least the 2014 Olympics lol. My first best fav ❤️) Bottom line the Habs are My Team, the “I’m gonna be here even when it sucks, even when players move on, this is attached to me in a way I can’t quite explain” team that every hockey fan has in their heart. GO HABS GO!
Pittsburgh Penguins. If you were an elementary school kid in Nova Scotia when Sidney Crosby was first released and up through the 2010’s, you had two options: love him, or hate him, but you better accept you’re gonna be hearing about him a LOT. I settled on “vague fondness” and followed Sid from a newspaper-scanning distance and vaguely rooted for him because when he brought the Cup home it felt like we all won. And like I said, lots of passionate Pens fans in my grade school classes to hear from (he’s also the only non-Habs player my Nana likes lol). Then I got into hockey properly last year and learned about Geno beyond just knowing his name, and my chronic affection for large loveable Russians got combined with my longstanding vague “I hope the Penguins win” feelings and my “time to get the full story on the Sidney Crosby’s Penguins narrative I only ever watched from a distance” research, in a manner not unlike the creation of the PowerPuff Girls ([chemical X] etc etc lol) to create a potent adoration for this team that rocketed them to second place in my heart. Also the fandom is just so damn fun and makes such great content, and that definitely feeds my level of engagement with the Pens!! Sometimes, when I want an emotional pick-me-up I watch one of their last 3 championship films just to remember what joy and optimism is — I would love to be present as a real-time fan for another adventure like that. With how much I know about them and how much I care, they’re my #2 for sure. I love those flightless fucks!!
Vancouver Canucks. So I started watching live NHL hockey games last summer around I think game 2 of the Habs’ first round series against the Flyers (I saw Price’s “Miracle Save” on twitter while following along bc I was intrigued by the fact that they made it through the play-ins, and was like “OKAY NOW I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT LIVE”). That was really fun! Riiiight up until the Habs got eliminated. :/ And I was like “well, shit. I’m enjoying this hockey thing too much to stop now. who else is still around I can root for?” And the Canucks were the last Canadian team still in it, and there was buzz about their miraculous first-round win but also uncertainty I believe Markstrom had *just* got injured. So I started watching, ended up witnessing the Bubble Demko Miracle unfold live, had my heart charmed off me by “whatever the hell those two lil blonde bitches have going on” and a delightful underdog story, and here I am. Hitched to the Canuck wagon whether I enjoy it or not. Here for whatever happens! (Doesn’t hurt that I love me some Elton John too 😉)
Washington Capitals. I’m a person who is more likely to be really engaged with a team that has super interesting personalities, characters, and narratives around it — and my GOD are the Capitals good for that. I absolutely definitely started down this road with that mic’d up video from the 2018 final of Ovi telling Nicke “after me, I give it to you baby!” re: the Cup. Like I can pinpoint that there was a day I saw that for the first time in a gifset, squinted at the screen, said “you’re fucking with me...”, went to youtube, watched it be for reals, and was like “well. now I need to know more about ALL this.” After watching games and learning more about the team, I really enjoy the Caps’ “big dumb found family of stone-cold total weirdos” energy, their fun collective chemistry, their Cup story, etc. And oh BOY the fandom is fun during game lb’s! I love all the in-jokes and player nicknames, our delight with the quirks of our colourful wonderful broadcast crew (shoutout Wine Uncles & Co), the way we cheer for record-breaking milestones like they’re a first NHL goal! Being a fan of the Caps AND the Pens can be a bit awkward sometimes, and the team certainly has its blemishes, but my heart is big enough for two Metro teams for sure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Toronto Maple Leafs. So like, as you can imagine from my previously described upbringing in Hab Land, “haha Leafs suck” is a punchline I have long been familiar with and trained to recite. I got a solid 3 days of laughter and entertainment out of the whole Zamboni Driver Saga last February, oh boy did I ever. But the thing is.... I have the Leafs to thank for the fact that I watch hockey now. See, the entire reason I started paying proper attention to the playoff bubble last summer was because one day, I happened to see the phrase “WHAT IS HAPPENING” trending at 16k tweets on twitter, and clicked on it like “huh?”. Turns out the Leafs were in the middle of their miraculous 3-minute comeback against Columbus and the country was losing its mind. And when they won, I was like “huh... the Zamboni Team is doing THIS??? I may have to start paying attention to this playoffs thing, because if they go All The Way I think that might be the only thing funnier than the Zamboni Incident”. Aaaaand when they immediately lost the next game and were eliminated I was like “lol, sounds about right” and was then immediately distracted by news of the Habs winning the play-in round. So then I spent several months watching playoffs and forgetting about the Leafs. And then one day in early October, looking on YouTube for more hockey to watch after the playoffs ended, I stumbled across something called a Hat Pick, and boy I actually enjoyed this shouty man’s sense of humour and takes on the game... and then when I ran out of Hat Picks and Dangits I watched some Trade Trees, which pulled back the curtain on the business side of the game... and then I discovered LFR’s, which were good background noise for doing tasks... and then I was recommended the episode of the Steve Dangle Podcast about Mitch Marner and The List... and next thing I knew I was listening to more of this podcast, because I found Steve and the guys to be insightful and funny and there was no hockey to watch, and I was trepidatious about accidentally stumbling into the more toxic corners of hockey fandom if I branched out for other content... and, well. If you spend enough hours listening to people passionately analyze every facet of a team, shout and cheer over a team, make fun of that team, nearly cry over that team... it’s really REALLY hard to not start to care about it. Leafs analysis was basically how I learned most of what I’ve learned about hockey this past year! And kudos to Steve and Adam and Jesse, their passionate investment in the Leafs and great content has got ME invested in the Leafs mainly because I want to see things go well for them. I want Charlie Brown to kick the football! I love a triumph over adversity story! Also, I think if the Leafs did Do The Thing it would basically be the combination of “Cubs win the World Series” and “Raptors are the champs” and I wanna watch the city of Toronto go fully apeshit from a safe distance. I don’t adore many their individual players as much as I do some other teams higher on this list, and I still laugh far too much when things go super comically impossibly badly for them, but I am actually pulling for the Leafs!! I want to see it all pay off for them. I want them to go all the way. Gimme that “LEAFS WIN!!!” (Unless it’s against someone above them on this list lol)
#if u get the joke in the Canucks emojis bless u#long post#asks#anon#actually I would root Leafs in a TOR vs WSH playoff series but it would break my heart to do so lol#Washington has a Cup already ya know?
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k y’all I’m rewatching the old guard again and I’m having so many Thougts, esp re: Bookers betrayal. and like I’m barely coherent rn bc I am BUZZING but pLEASE bear with my frenzied thoughts bc y’all??? when nicky and joe are being tested, there’s the scene where Copley asks Merrick how much longer the tests are going to go on. and Copley says “you have blood, bone, tissue samples, etc” to that effect and Merrick says lol we keeping them and Copley seems genuinely surprised that merrick wants to keep them locked up forever and never let them out again. and later on Copley said “this is not what we agreed”. And like, keep in mind from what I understand the biggest reason that the og and joe and Nicky specifically are so deeply hurt is, betrayal aside, bc they think Booker willingly condemned them all to being lab rats forever and knowingly put them in a situation where they would face dying repeatedly and the Big Fear is that they may not wake up, esp in the face of Andy’s sudden mortality. But!!! Considering that Booker worked with Copley to do his big set up, and considering Copley’s surprise at Merricks forever personal lab rat stance, I do believe it is reasonable to say that Booker had NO IDEA what was in store for them. Reasonably, I imagine that he thought they would take the necessary samples from each person, run some tests, and then they would all be let go and contacted with the eventual results. The reason for the secrecy and betrayal was because he knew no one would willingly go and out themselves like that because of the Risks of it becoming widely known that they were essentially immortal. And he likely would have turned himself in only, but with Copley/Merricks insistence to have everyone, it probably made sense to Booker that yeah, okay, maybe there’s something different about the older ones, who knows, and Andy is the OG immortal so, kinda makes sense that some samples should come from her. also he did think that she would have wanted answers as well at least. what I’m TRYING to say is I really don’t think Booker knew that Joe and Nicky would be tortured when they were grabbed and he probably had no idea that the intent was to keep them as eternal lab rats. He just thought that they would finally get some Answers. While his betrayal was still ultimately a betrayal, and he absolutely deserved to face consequences of some kind, I think that his base intentions were genuine and he really didn’t mean for anyone to be so badly hurt (over and over again) and I really think, considering what kind of person Booker seems to be, with the wallowing in grief for CENTURIES and the nihilism and inability to optimistsclly accept his situation and move on, that 100 years in isolation really was not a smart or necessarily fair move by the og. he did not do well on his own/while with the og historically, idk how making him be genuinely and totally alone for another 100 years and taking Andy away from him as she became mortal was wise, especially when he no doubt blames himself for Andy’s mortality even though he was not the direct cause; him shooting her revealed that and was, likely in his mind, the nail in the coffin so to speak (he also straight up said “I killed her”) because he obviously has a Complex and established unhealthy coping mechanisms (PLS drink some water book?? pls??) so what were they thinking?? he genuinely was remorseful and guilty and hated himself and his actions immediately (“just leave me here” u drama queen Booker shut up and get up Jesus) I think they could’ve come up with something that would effectively get the point across while still punishing him. but also I strongly believe the og would not last 100 years and mostly agreed on it because it showed him they were serious. overall for the sequel I’m hoping to high heaven they don’t make him a villain and revengeful for his forced solitude?? and that they welcome him back before the 100 years because he is still family and they love him and what he really needs is love and support and definitely a LOT of therapy.
#ted talk over#phew#can you tell that i love him??#idk how it happened but i guess i have a Type#sigh#booker#sebastien le livre#the old guard#im so sorry in advance#for how this probably reads#the ravings of a madwoman#rip
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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?
Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).
Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.
For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:
Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.
Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.
Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.
Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.
Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.
Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.
Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z
Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.
Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.
X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.
(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.
Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.
Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.
And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!
#ask#anonymous#fallout 4#fo4#god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only#come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing#doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did#then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by#she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her#I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it#don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all#like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to#have an opinion u may not like
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HIIII hope you have been well my dearest last airbender hehe. i have so much exciting things to share <333
so first off, i did two wish rolls the other night and guess what? on one roll i got BOTH bennett AND qiqi!!!!!! (the other one was just weapons but 🤷🏽♀️) i love them both so much i literally ascended them the second i got them. i still can’t believe my luck. so now my team looks like: traveller, noelle and those two. i’m having a little issue bc i don’t have a long range combat character but i love them all too much to change anything. which means i struggle sometimes maybe if i roll for someone else in the future i might change but rn i’m LOVING them. have you ever had luck like that?
AND i started watching haikyuu again and i forgot how funny it is. i usually don’t laugh out loud while watching things but i was literally chuckling while watching some moments. i’ve only watched 10 eps-ish but i fell in love with it again at the first ep already. i cant believe i dropped it before i’m so stupid.
ok that’s all the updates i had hahaha ! i was like buzzing waiting to tell you lmaidhdhdbd 🥺
oikawa is SO pretty it’s insane. when he showed up i was like yeah.... that’s him. that’s the pretty boy. but then again pretty much everyone is pretty in haikyuu who the hell are we supposed to focus on hehdhd the art style is just that good yk?
ships that have silent (+ points for angry) yearning are just superior. and usually they fall in the enemies/rivals category which is lovely. nothing is finer than watching people struggle with their feelings like mmmmmm... tasty. also as good as rareships can be, popular ships are popular for a reason yk? like canon content isn’t everything ofc but if canon can back it up in some way more people tend to be interested heh
wanna know something super weird? when i consume content i always fall for the stotic bois with angst backstories first but after i finish the shows i always miss the cute happy babies and that makes me obsessed with them? idk it’s crazy like voltron for example keith is literally my favorite character of all time but when i finished voltron i was literally bawling bc i missed lance so much help
well i guess we’re talking about voltron now HAHA 😭 dude s3 was a fucking blessing i can’t believe we got that and they just cut it off cold. the leader and his right hand man dynamic makes me yell to this day 😭😭😭 remember all the scenes where they continuesly reassured each other 😭 the ‘leave the math to pudge’ scene lives in my head rent free no joke dhdnhdbdud... s3 was just them loving each other tenderly and dw stole it from us.. ALSO PLEASE WRITE THEM AGAIN LITERALLY BEGGING 😭 pls 🥺
dude our government doesn’t give a shit we literally have politics traveling around and chilling without masks. they don’t care at all we barely have any restrictions so people don’t care either. it’s a mess here ngl.. :/
can’t wait to hear from u again... mwah!
hi hi!!!! is this gonna end up being 2 replies in one day for you again HAHAHA i’ll try not to disappear after
!!!!!!!!!! QIQI AND BENNETT??!!?!!!!!!!! oh my goodness… oh my goodness!!! i can’t believe you got a 5 star before me fjskskkdd but big deserve 😭😭😭😩😩😩 i’m so happy for you nejdnskamxlxmm holy shit!!!!! that’s so cute tho that’s such a cute team… and big mood!! who cares about team dynamics/fighting styles all that matters is that you like them 😩 but also does that mean you currently have 3 sword users and 1 claymore on your team jdjsndnsm. i also used to not have a ranged fighter on my team but it just got so inconvenient lolol. and no my luck is actual ass :( so often i only roll weapons, and when i do roll charas it’s like. all the base free ones djdkskdk
haikyuu is SO funny!!! everyone’s humour is so >>>> omg they’re just silly boys… are you restarting it from the very first ep? and it’s all good if you dropped it before bc you’re coming back to it now and that’s what matters 😩 keep me updated tho! i’m so excited to hear what you think
HFJDNSKSN sorry i went mia and made you wait chksjs WHICH REMINDS ME!! omg i’ve been meaning to tell you and keep forgetting but i downloaded genshin on my phone last week for my trip and it’s so??? difficult? like mad mad respect to you for being able to play on mobile omg… maybe it’s just bc i was used to pc already but damn.. djsjjs
HAHA yeah just admiring the visuals instead of focusing on the story.. we’ve all been there 😩 sometimes you just gotta rewind and take 48394993 screenshots of the one scene you know? who let them be so gorgeous..
yesssss the mutual oblivious pining is so good.. like they’re enemies to lovers but they’re also IDIOTS to lovers… or my fave headcanon which hurts so bad… the one person (keith) pining for their rival (lance) but it’s unrequited and they’ve just accepted that and are kinda resigned to it but. they just want them to be happy above all else :’) :’(
and honestly you are so right like if the popular ship are foils and have all these parallels between them and a deep backstory and stuff that’s so good too there’s so much food AHAH
omg that’s kinda cute tho.. like once you’re done you enter the honeymoon phase w bubbly outgoing charas.. (speaking of honeymoons when’s ours 🤪) speaking of lance he deserved everything lmao.. he deserves everything PRESENT TENSE!!! wow we are really talking about vld in 2021 huh
LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE!!! I AM SCREAMING JUST THIBKING ABLIT THIS TOO!! WHAT THE FUCK DOCYOUCMEAN KEITH. WHY DIDNYOUCSAY IT WITH THAT SMILE. LANCE WHY DIDNYOU SMILE LIKE THAT IN RETURN. LEAVE THE MATH TO- KEITH EXPLAIN??? WHA WERE YOU WDOIDJGNDKDNSKFKDKFNDNNCMS the way that lance went from ‘despising’ keith and hating being beaten by him in everything to SEEKING OUT HIS ADVICE AND COMFORT???? IF THAT ISNT GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS like their relationship progressed so so so so so so so so SO much in that one single season… like. i cannot BELIEVE that was real???? no fucking way. like. we were literally so close.. SO FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!!!! my god the trust they had in each other..… LANCE SEEKING KEITH OUT!!! lance accepting keith as the leader before even keith accepted himself EVEN WHEN LANCE HIMSELF SO DESPARATELY WANTED TO BE THE BLACK PALADIN bUT RECOGNISING IT WASNT WHAT THE BLACK LION WANTED AND i have to stop or else i’ll literally never stop typing chskdkdkndcuksncjxjskcoskosnaksj
hhhhhhh i wanna write them sometimes i get hit with the feels SO SO BAD (like just then? LOL) but i haven’t properly written them in so long i feel like i don’t even know how to anymore D; but anyway do you have any prompts? i have so many wips (i have one fic that i said was gonna be my Final klance fic but lmao i’m never gonna finish it at this stage so i guess i’m also not done writing klance? lmao) but after a while i just. have no desire to go back to them anymore fjdjjx so something new might spark my motivation! but also no promises sorry i always say i’ll do shit but never do JEKSKS altho i will try!! i’ll try bust out at least a drabble even if it ends up as an unfinished wip as well lol 😩
oh fucking rip that’s so horrible i’m so sorry you have to deal with that :((( legit it’s so upsetting to see so many governments just. complacent and not caring about this issue at all like?? this is your job? you’re literally meant to be doing all these things to help us right now and you’re just not. which i guess unfortunately also makes sense bc they’re the ones who would suffer least. it’s so frustrating lmaoooo >:(
:***** i’ve stayed up again bc i am Not intelligent fjskdk but i’m looking forward to your response!! goodnight and sweet dreamssss (for when you next sleep LOL) 💗😘
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a sort of rant about a Persona album review
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/k-pop-stars-bts-the-biggest-boy-band-in-the-world-sbx3nn7r3https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/k-pop-stars-bts-the-biggest-boy-band-in-the-world-sbx3nn7r3https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/k-pop-stars-bts-the-biggest-boy-band-in-the-world-sbx3nn7r3https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/k-pop-stars-bts-the-biggest-boy-band-in-the-world-sbx3nn7r3This is my opinion on an opinion-piece (lol) please don’t flame me and also don’t go flame this critic, hate isn’t beneficial constructive discussions are :)
A summary of some points I wanted to touch on if you don’t want to read:
-You don’t have to like anybody’s music or art or actual existence and you are entitled to your opinions
-Artists are humans and not pre-packaged dolls (despite how some may come across) so try to consider commentary on artists themselves in a more personal context
-Please consider getting to know something before you trash it in its entirety, especially if your job is to critique things :)
-When considering an issue try to take a step back and gain a wider perspective before you get too involved in your own
aNyway I read this Persona album review from The Hollywood Reporter and I was confused + disappointed + sad. Here’s why:
His actual review of the album was strange and dismissive. Here’s what I mean by ‘strange’. He said basically every song was bad (which is his opinion of course) but he did it in such a weird way. Kind of like how he described the whole album as “a tasty snack that leaves a bitter aftertaste” lmao what?? He’s trying to spice up his piece with some rhetorical techniques I guess... He could have just listed technical reasons for him not liking songs and moved on but he had to make everything super spicy (for lack of a better word). This is somewhat understandable because he’s a journalist and he’s trying to add interest to his piece and I feel a bit ridiculous giving this any more attention so let’s move on. More importantly, he was very dismissive. He criticizes the album line up, says the group has no clear music taste and calls them “prolific dabblers” (I guess he’s trying to say it’s hard to tell what genre they actually prefer/aim to work in? It’s weird how some see this as a con but others admire this sort of diversity. I guess I can understand it somewhat, but personally, I like hearing lots of different sounds from artists I follow). Some of my other favorite lines include “The songs play like unintentionally comedic genre mistakes”, “The new record is bracketed by its weakest tracks, “Intro: Persona” and “Dionysus,” particularly off-putting songs that leave a lingering sour aftertaste” and “Like much of the mega-pop-artists’ work, this album in particular feels like it’s packaged on an assembly line and by committee”. My head hurts from trying to stop at three lines this whole review is absolute gold. He calls RM’s line about Icarus in Boy With Luv “stodgy” and “middle-school-level” and then sums up all their references as clumsy. His perspectives on their songs really make me sad because it seems like he got no meaning from them and it’s like he was hearing a whole different album than what I listened to. It isn’t the fact that they weren’t his taste that upsets me, it is the fact that he felt they were so empty when I found them to be so full. (This really applies to their work as a whole - not every song is super meaningful to me, but regardless, they are genuine and there are some that have stolen my heart).
He actually made a four-in-one in one album/artist/genre/fanbase review. I have a hard time understanding this. Admittedly I don’t read album reviews often but I am pretty sure that critics aren’t supposed to be reviewing entire genres(fact-check me please. I read some about writing album reviews and I didn't see much on this point). If he was going to do such an extensive review I wish it had been a separate piece not labeled as an album review and I would hope it would also boast well-informed opinions based on extensive research (am I hypocrite?). To me, it seemed that he didn’t actually know that much about the group, the fanbase, or the genre and, in turn, he seemed to know very little about the songs. It felt like he was writing off not just this album, or BTS’ music, but BTS themselves as fake and shallow. Like they are sell-out musicians who were perfectly crafted to have mass appeal and have shaped themselves for success in America and that’s all there is to them???? Their songs apparently have no meaning? It’s like he takes these tiny seeds of truths from the Korean entertainment industry or global marketing of popular artists and uses them to grow a commercial farm of opinions (I think I need some metaphor tips from him my game is weak). This article seriously gave me flashbacks to that interview/commentary from The Times. Throughout, I got the sense that he was just shoving in certain passionate opinions he had which were formed through minimal research. Like he just went on social media, watched a few videos, browsed a few fan tweets, heard a bit of the music and took it from there. He comes off as condescending and his delivery reads like he thinks he is gifting some profound revelations to all the intellectually-stunted fans out there. To sum it up it seemed like he didn’t understand that A) BTS’ fanbase is huge and is made up of many different people B) BTS are actual human beings C) The messages in the music (and there are messages there) are genuine. I think this article on the whole Times controversy sums up my feelings on several issues fairly well. (I know it’s Pop Buzz I’m linking it bc the perspective is valuable tRuSt mE pls)
The acknowledgments he made throughout the piece. For example, he acknowledged that their music has helped people but it felt like at the same time he was labeling people who were touched by their music as shallow. I should have probably expected this because generally large followings get shit for stuff like that but I hoped it wouldn’t be mentioned (meaningfulness behind different music is always being debated). He says that in this album “BTS keeps doing BTS” but makes it feel like a diss. Like some sort of pat on the head for everyone involved (sure honey BTS is one of a kind...one of a kind at being stellar a commercial product to please the masses). Similarly, he acknowledges that they have meanings in their songs but sums it up as “Reddit-bait” and paints it all as a marketing tactic. There is some truth in the point that adding lots of easter eggs and stuff is to garner more interest, but there are some very heartfelt messages in their music as well and it seems like a sizable oversimplification to chalk all of it up as part of a ploy for money and fame.
Sort of disclaimers:
I got the sense that reviews aren’t supposed to just be about whether something is genuine or not but more about whether it is technically good (which is why I stated that, in my opinion, the writer should have focused more on that and less on social commentary). I don’t think BTS is a revolutionary group whose music or concepts are unparalleled. I am not a crazy fan with too much time on my hands, I’ve been thinking about the different takes on music people have for a while and have wanted to write something specifically like this since The Times incident. I welcome commentary and I want people to continue to share honest opinions and feelings I just hope for some more professional (is insightful a better word?) commentary from people whose job it is to write reviews. I understand writers are busy and no one has time to do extreme research but I still think more extensive research is necessary for opinion pieces (reviews, commentary, etc.). I mentioned “seeds of truth” earlier and I think the reviewer has some good points they are just addressed horribly and don’t really directly relate to the album itself.
Feel free to correct me, share your opinion, tell me “it’s not that deep sis” or scroll past this entirley lol bye
#bts#opinion#just some thoughts#album review#map of the soul#map of the soul: persona#persona#bts v#bts jungkook#bts jin#bts rm#bts jhope#bts suga#bts jimin#bts persona#bts boy with luv#idk what the appropriate tags for this are#way too long#perhaps too personal#idk#what do i know#mine#pls read#stream persona
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Secret Santa with the Holland's... (Headcanon)
Requested By: Nobody
Side Note: Since Christmas is approaching I wanted to write something relative to that because for me personally it’s one of my favorite holiday’s. I also thought this could be really fun to write so, I hope you’ll enjoy it just as much. :)
- alRIGHT SO
- Christmas is approaching, it’s one of the most joyful times of the year
- people are getting their trees to decorate in their homes, also decorating the outside of their homes with colorful lights
- and then you know by the end of the day you’re basically brOKE LOL
- rip everyone’s bank accounts in December lmao
- aNYWAYS
- you came up with a brilliant idea this year, it was gOLDEN, 100% best thing ever
- “HELLO BROTHERS I HAVE A SNAZZY IDEA COME GATHER AROUND PLS” You would shout from the kitchen, waiting to hear footsteps.
- “Y/N this better be good I was in the middle of a game!” Sam whined, making you smile and laugh.
- “I second what Sam said, but I was editing a video.” Harry chimed in, now standing beside his brother.
- “Alright we got two of you, where are the other two Holland’s.” You squinted at Sam and Harry who shrugged in response.
- “Y/N, how did you even get into our house? Nobody let you in.” Harry questioned, now realizing you were just randomly in their kitchen.
- “Tom gave me a key.” You laughed, watching as the two boys in front of you nodded in response.
- “Make’s sense, you’re always here anyways.” Sam laughed, making you laugh in response.
- it was true, you were basically always at the Holland’s house
- “TOM, PADDY WHERE ARE YOU GUYS SAM AND HARRY ARE ALREADY DOWN HERE.” You shouted once more, resting your chin on your hands.
- “I’M COMING GOOD LORD.” Tom shouted back, coming down the stairs, Paddy behind him as well.
- “What’s this huge meeting about?” Tom questioned once him and Paddy made it into the kitchen.
- “Well, now that you’re all here, I can finally tell you all my brilliant idea.” You clapped your hands, a bright smile on your face.
- “Does it involve baking? Because I can’t do that.” Paddy questioned, making you smile and his brothers laugh in response.
- “I mean it could if you chose to honestly, but I wouldn’t really advise that.” You laughed, ruffling Paddy’s hair up.
- “ANYWAYS, so, my brilliant idea is that since Christmas is approaching, I thought it’d be so much fun to do Secret Santa!” You clapped excitedly, only to see them not showing the same amount of enjoyment.
- “Secret Santa?” Sam questioned, before glancing at his brothers who also wore the same expression.
- “Have you guys never done Secret Santa?” You asked in pure shock, you loved doing Secret Santa, it made the idea of buying a gift for someone fun and adventurous.
- oKAY BUT FR WHO DOES SECRET SANTA BC IT’S SO FUN
- bUT also rip again to everyone’s bank accounts including mine bc I spend so much money yikessss
- rip money :’((((
- aNYWAYS
- “I mean we decorate our house and get like two trees but we don’t really do ‘Secret Santa’ we normally just get gifts for each other.” Tom explained, making you roll your eyes in response.
- “You guys have never experienced the thrill of Secret Santa, bUT that is going to change! I declare that this year, the Holland family will do Secret Santa!” You cheered, clapping happily as they all sighed but smiled at you anyways.
- “Alright fine, we’ll try it out, and if we like it, maybe it can become a thing.” Harry added, making you even happier than before.
- wOW that took a lot of convincing smh
- soon after, you started explaining how Secret Santa worked, how you were going to draw a name out of a hat and whoever you got you had to get them a gift, but you couldn’t tell anyone who you got or what you got them
- “But what if I need help? I suck at getting people gifts.” Tom whined, making you roll your eyes.
- “You’ll be okay, I promise.” You spoke dramatically, making him glare at you playfully.
- “Okay lets draw names shall we?” You questioned, shaking up the hat that now held slips of paper with all of your names on it.
- the first to go was Paddy, who was eager to see who he would get, he mixed his hand around in the hat, then pulled the slip of paper out
- #Spoiler he got Sam !
- then went Harry who was praying he’d get Tom bc he was easy to get something for
- #Spoiler he didn’t get Tom hahahaahah he got Paddy
- then Sam went, he mixed the hat around, then pulled a slip of paper out
- #Spoiler he got you !!
- then it was Tom’s turn, he was ready to see who he would get, even though there were only like two slips of paper left lol
- #Spoiler he got Harry yeet
- then it came down to you, with the last slip of paper in the hat
- #Spoiler you got Tom ! >:)
- “Alright now that everyone got their person, it’s time to start looking for gifts! This is where to me at least it gets super fun and exciting because people can get really creative with what they get or they can get something super lame, but you won’t know till you open the gift!” You smiled, looking at all of the boys in front of you.
- “Let the games begin, brothers.” Harry grinned, then exited the kitchen, along with everyone else.
- IT WAS SECRET SANTA TIME
- you were currently in a store, trying to find something to get Tom, he was honestly so difficult to shop for ngl
- you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, only to see multiple messages
- yes, you were in a group chat with the lovely Holland brothers
- Tom: WHO HAS ME I WANT TO KNOW
- Harry: THE WHOLE POINT IS TO NOT KNOW YOU IDIOT
- Sam: tHIS IS STRESSING ME OUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET AGKAJSDFKJ
- Paddy: gUYS YOU’RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE SHUT UP
- You: So, how is everyone enjoying Secret Santa so far??? ;)))))
- Tom: Y/N I WANT TO KNOW WHO GOT ME
- Sam: YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW, SUFFER LIKE THE REST OF US BIOTCH
- Paddy: SHOPPING IS SO DIFFICULT GUYS HALP
- Harry: Y/N HOW DOES ONE FIND GIFTS FOR OTHERS
- You: How am I friends with you guys like???? I seriously wonder this everyday
- Tom: UHM BC YOU LOVE US DUH
- Sam: I SECOND WHAT tOM SAID
- Harry: I THIRD THAT STATEMENT
- Paddy: I AGREE TOO
- You: lord, you all are something else, but yeah.. I luv you guys too :)
- You: OKAY GTG I’M BUYING GIFTS FOR WHO I GOT HAHAHAHAH BYE
- Tom: WHAT Y/N WHO DID YOU GET
- Sam: sHIT HOW DO YOU BUY GIFTS,,,, Y/N !!!
- Harry: WE’RE ALL DOOMED
- Paddy: i’m lost
- and with that you locked your phone, a smile on your face as you continued shopping for Tom
- eventually after spending hours looking around you finally found the perfect gift for him
- weeks passed and it was now time to exchange gifts with one another
- aND LET ME TELL YOU, those weeks were complete chaos
- “Alright! Today’s the day, everyone exchange gifts!” You smiled, you were all back in the kitchen holding your gifts.
- Paddy started, he carefully walked over to Sam, before setting his gift in front of him
- “Merry Christmas Sammy.” Paddy smiled, giving his brother a hug, who returned the kind gesture.
- then it was Sam’s turn to go, he hesitantly walked over to you, before setting the gift he got you in front of you
- “I hope you’ll like it.” Sam smiled nervously, making you smile and laugh slightly.
- “Of course I’ll like it you goof.” You laughed, giving him a hug, which he returned.
- then it was your turn, you picked your gift up, before making your way over to Tom, who’s eyes widened when he realized you had gotten him
- “IT WAS YOU THIS WHOLE TIME I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.” Tom shouted, shaking his head, a smile on his face as he hugged you.
- “Surprise!” You laughed, before going back to your spot.
- then it was Tom’s turn, he picked up his gift, before setting it down in front of Harry, who was a bit skeptical but was excited at the same time
- and last but not least it was Harry’s turn, he picked his gift up and walked over to Paddy, placing it in front of him
- “Merry Christmas buddy.” Harry smiled, messing his hair up before walking back over to his spot.
- “oKAY so now that everyone has their gift, how was the Secret Santa experience?” You questioned, a smile on your face as everyone laughed.
- “It was thrilling, but stressful at the same time.” Harry responded, as everyone nodded in agreement.
- “Overall, I think it was really fun.” Tom added on, making everyone nod in agreement once more.
- “I’m glad you guys had fun, but now is the best part! Open your gifts!” You cheered, and before you knew it they were all diving into their presents.
- Tom opened his first, you had gotten him a multi-picture frame and put a lot of his favorite moments in it
- “Y/N, this, this is amazing, thank you.” Tom smiled, his eyes still scanning every picture you had put in it.
- Paddy was next to open his gift, he eager ripped the wrapping paper off to see a video game he had desperately wanted
- “Yes! I’ve been wanting this for months! Thank you Harry!” Paddy cheered, looking at the game in pure happiness.
- Sam was next to go, he tore the wrapping paper off only to see Paddy had gotten him a video game also, but not just one, but two!
- “Aw sweet, thanks Paddy.” Sam grinned, looking over the two games.
- then it was Harry’s turn to open his gift, he removed the wrapping paper only to see a new camera
- “Oh my god, Tom, thank you so much.” Harry spoke, he was blown away, he had needed a new camera for so long.
- then last but not least it was your turn to open your gift, you undid the wrapping paper, Sam was anxious to see if you’d like it or not
- bUT you loved it, he had gotten you a few different things, some lotion, some perfume, a gift card to your favorite restaurant
- “Sam this is amazing, you didn’t have to get me this much, but I love it, thank you so much.” You smiled, making him visibly relax and smile back at you.
- needless to say, everyone loved their gifts and whether they wanted to admit it or not, Secret Santa was a lot better than they expected
Christmas + Secret Santa + The Holland Brothers = A New Yearly Tradition :-))
#tom holland#harry holland#sam holland#paddy holland#tom holland headcanon#headcanon#holland brothers#holland brother headcanon#christmas#christmas headcanon#tom holland imagines#tom holland imagine#tom x reader#tom x you#peter parker#peter parker headcanon#peter parker imagines#peter parker imagine#peter parker x you#peter parker x reader#robert downey jr#rdj#tony stark#iron man#zendaya#michelle jones#jacob batalon#ned leeds#laura harrier#liz allan
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8 questions tag
I was tagged by both @soooldout and @whiteconfession , thank you both <3
Dija’s questions:
1. What was the best dream you ever had, or most interesting one (a good story?)
duuude... i think once i had a dream where i was just literally lying in a field of wheat or flowers or something and it was so so peaceful. i always daydreamed about it, so i guess my mind just let me have my ideal dream for once. it asted for like a few seconds, and then i woke up
2. Which idol/celebrity do you think you are most like in terms of personality?
uhhhh probably myungsoo. it kinda depends on who i’m with... but i think mostly myungsoo, because i do have my own thing, my own projects that i do and that i like doing. i enjoy taking photos, esp of nature, and i’m mostly shy around other people. like it’s hard to explain, but if the other person is open and welcoming, then i’ll be more comfortable around them.
3. What are 5 of your fave b sides, lesser known, or non-title tracks?
oooh i love this. i mostly listen to ballads though and these are almost all from kdramas lol minus the first one
AKMU - Time and Fallen Leaves (they’re amazing and the lyrics are sooo beautiful)
Thumping - Kim Minseung, from She Was Pretty (it’s super cute and actually not sad LOL)
The Way - Umji, from Shopping King Louis/Shopaholic Louis (soft, and a bit sad but there’s a tinge of hope imbedded in the song, which is nice)
Ambiguous - BTOB’s Sungjae, Hyunsik, Eunkwang, from Fight My Way (super cute and fun and so PRETTY too i love it.)
Lucia - Without You, from Bride of Habaek (the Water God) (an angel sings this, no joke, and it’s so sad don’t listen on repeat bc u will get really down in the dumps - i’ve done this so many times but it’s so PRETTY :c)
4. Any show/drama you’ve watched that you would recommend?
My number one go to is She Was Pretty. It’s my absolute favorite. Reply 1988 is also sooo amazing, and @salt-licks recommended it to me, and I’m really happy that I got to watch it because it was amazing (and long - but overwhelmingly amazing that i didn’t mind)
5. Do you have any phobias?
I don’t know if this is considered a phobia, like I’ll be okay if I look at a photo of it, but I am really, really scared of bees. If I hear a buzzing sound, I’ll tense up and stand really still. I’ll duck if I see a big bee flying around, and it’s really frustrating and embarrassing because everyone is like ‘omg why are you so scared?? it’ll leave you alone’ but it seriously scares me so much because I’ve been stung twice in the past and I didn’t even do anything to provoke the bees.
6. What is your favorite thing about your best friend/favorite person in the world?
my best friend is just seriously the best. i stopped using the term best friend a long long time ago because i didn’t think i had any best friends, but she proved me wrong, and we text each other every. single. day. and we tell each other what’s up and cheer each other on with our studies. whenever i have a bad day or something and i want to kinda sorta rant, she’s there to listen to me and talks to me and !!!!!!!!! i seriously love her so much :( she gives me so much hope
8. What, in your opinion, was the worst thing to happen in kpop in 2016/17?
Obviously like, Hoya leaving. Like that sucked a lot. I’m even more upset that woollim made us wait for 3 months just to tell us that he was leaving, like y’all couldn’t have told us sooner? y’all couldn’t have let us experience the heartbreak earlier instead of dragging us in “positively discussing” agony? bitch.
Laura’s questions:
1. Are there any fandoms outside of kpop you’re in? (GoT, Marvel, cupcakes whatever)
I like makeup, DIYs, thrifting (even though i don’t thrift lmao) and probably a whole bunch of other fandoms that i can’t think of right now. probably the kdrama fandom? does that count? i don’t watch kdramas often (well, obviously not now bc school but)
2. Do you have an unpopular opinion about Infinite?
I used to be really scared of Dongwoo when I first watched the Destiny mv and I didn’t understand why everyone thought he was an angel until I spent more time in the fandom and realized how wrong i was i am so sorry dongwoo my apologies
3. That Summer Concerts or OGS/Effect?
OGS/Effect because they come to other countries, and it’s always nice to see them react to different cultures’ ways of being in a concert (if that made sense)
4. What kind of concept would you like to see for Infinite’s comeback?
Steampunk, or something like Last Romeo again. or maybe some kind of ballady song so they don’t overwork themselves dancing omfg
5. Which unit would you like to make a comeback? Or a new unit?~
INFINITE F. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR INFINITE F TO HAVE A COMEBACK EVER SINCE I STEPPED INTO THIS FANDOM, WHICH IS LIKE... THREE YEARS AGO? TWO YEARS? I LOST TRACK, BUT I SERIOUSLY WANT AN INFINITE F COMEBACK SOON PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE
6. What is your favorite pizza topping?
you’re all going to hate me, pineapples
7. Your favorite starter Pokemon? (important question for our friendship)
*sweats nervously* uhhh Bulbasaur (idk the pokemon well enough so if i jeopardized our friendship forgive me)
8. Are you aware of our lord and savior that are stroopwafels?
no, are they some kind of waffles?
OH MY GOD THEY HAVE CARAMEL BETWEEN THEM??? OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD
My Questions!
1. When was the last time you went on a trip and where did you go?
2. What are some Infinite songs that you NEVER listen to and why?
3. You’re chosen to fight in a boxing match with your bias. Will you fight them? Why or why not?
4. What is a toy you miss from your childhood that doesn’t seem to be around anymore?
5. Who/What always manages to cheer you up on a bad day?
6. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your parent(s)?
7. Would you rather sing a song in front of a mirror and not know that there are people behind the mirror, or sing in front of a crowd (of mannequins)?
8. What are some of your favorite holidays? (not including halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, easter...)
I will tag @chickenyeol @ifnt-saranghae @infinitebabymonsta @twizzler12345 @jdw-juseyo @flowrsoo @princessofmind @woollimcanchoke @salt-licks @leesungjong @cloudyjong and @soooldout and @whiteconfession (if you guys want to do it again with my questions~)
#personal#tag!#wow i love my tag tag#it even has an exclamation point#this fandom is the best fandom i've ever been in#i have no regrets#i am so sorry if i spelled your name wrong or if it's just completely wrong in general#i forget names a lot
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Jealous (Jughead x Reader)
Prompt: hey darling! im in love with your imagines! is it possible to request a jughead x reader where the reader and jug are dating and jughead spends WAY too much time with betty (maybe bc of the blue&gold ?) the reader is jealous but jug is just amused by it? like he does the whole "awwww! is someone jealous?" kind of teasing? lol idk if that made any sense but if you figure out a way to write it that would be amazing! thank youuu
A/N: I took my time with this one and changed it a bit! I hope you like it. Requests are welcome!
Masterlist
Jealous (Jughead x Reader)
You had a bag from Pop’s that you managed to go get for you and your boyfriend. Jughead’s been staying in the Blue and Gold room during lunch lately and you haven’t really spent any time together this week so you wanted to treat him to some burgers.
Stopping to see the door closed, you peaked in the little window to see Jug and Betty standing close with their backs turned towards you.
You reach to open the door and call for Jug when Betty leans her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her. Your heart stops.
Jug never wraps his arm around you. Hell, He hates any PDA. Feeling a little upset, you turn and go find one of your other friends. Maybe Veronica would want some burgers.
-
You finished curling your hair when he texts you.
From: Jug <3
Hey Had to help B with something. Wont make it tonight.
Your heart drops and your chest tightens. This would the third time he canceled on you this week!
Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you frown. Where they up to something? No Jughead wouldn’t hurt you like that. Right? Your eyes start to sting and you decide to call some help.
-
“What’s up Girl? You look dolled up!” Veronica and Kevin slid into the booth across from you.
Still pouting a bit, you stare out the window.
“(Y/n)?” Kev reaches out and touches your arm.
“It was for Jug.” You sigh, smoothing out your skirt. “But he decided to cancel. Again.”
“What was his excuse?” V crosses her arm.
“The same as always. Had to help Bets with something.” You answer with a slightly sharpened tone. “He’s spending way more time with her than me. Am I wrong to feel jealous?”
Kevin shakes his head. “No. You’re his girlfriend. He most definitely shouldn’t have canceled on you. Whatever it is, Betty could have handled it on her own or waiting until tomorrow.”
“Yeah. You said again? How many times has he canceled?” V narrows her eyes.
“Three.” You mumble, picking at your dark maroon sweater.
“THREE?! In a week? I’m going to kick his ass.” Veronica growls out. “No wonder you’re feeling jealous. I would have kicked ass after the second time. Plus they spent lunch together for what the past two weeks?”
Your vision gets blurry with tears as you nod.
Kevin stares for a minutes then says, “There’s something else.”
V stops her ranting to see the tears form. “What happened?”
“I know it’s nothing and I’m just overreacting but the few times I’d try to surprise Jug with lunch, they’d be affectionate in someway. Whether he’s putting his arm around her or her leaning into him.” Your voice breaks a little. “He won’t even do that to me. Hell, he barely responds to any of my texts.”
Veronica and Kevin share a look as a few tears escape.
-
It was two days later that you finally got that date in. The only reason it happened was because Veronica demanded Betty help her shop for a new outfit to wear for a date she had coming up.
You wanted to go out and do something for the date but you were afraid if you got dolled up again that Jug would cancel again. Plus it’s not like he would even notice. So you guys decided that you would stay in and watch movies.
Half way through the movie, Jug got a text. You roll your eyes as he spends the next 10 minutes texting.
“If you aren’t watching the movie, I’m changing it.” You snap and push yourself off the other side of the couch. He wouldn’t let you sit next to him.
Snatching the dvd out, you just searching for a new movie. One you would enjoy, not caring if Jug wanted to watch anything or not. If he wants spend 10 minutes texting, you could watch whatever you wanted.
He glances up and does his famous half smirk. “What is your problem?”
You just huff and continue searching for a movie.
“(Y/n)?”
“What?” You snap again.
“I asked What is your problem tonight?” He shifts in his seat and his phone buzzes again.
“Is that Betty?” Your voice sharpens.
“Yeah?”
Silence fills the room.
“Are you… jealous?” Jug chuckles.
“No.” You cross your arms and give up on looking for another movie.
“Yes you are. Oh my god.” He’s actually laughing. “What are you even jealous about?”
Turning, you glare at him as he smirks up at you.
“What could you possibly be jealous about? Betty? You know she’s just a friend.”
“Mhm.” You don’t know if you want to cry or punch the smirk off his face.
“Tell me. What made you jealous?” Does he really not know?
“How about you tell me?” Your sharp voice makes him drop his smirk.
“(Y/n), there’s nothing to be jealous about.”
Rolling your eyes, you snap at him. “Of course not. I’m clearly overreacting.”
“You said it, not me.” He shrugs.
“You’re an ass, Jones.” with that, you turn and run up to your room. Slamming the door so he hears it.
Sitting on your bed, a few tears run down your cheek.
“(y/n)? Can I please come in?” Jug knocks on your bedroom door. You pause. You thought he would have gone home.
“No.” You stubbornly answer.
“Come on. Please don’t get worked up over nothing. Nothing is going on with me and betty. I promise.” He sighs through the door.
“Of course you say that.” You mumble.
He slowly opens the door and leans in the doorframe. “Do you want to tell me what it is that made you jealous?”
Rolling your eyes, you turn and face the wall.
“Come on, Now you just look like a pouting toddler.” He chuckles.
You glare at him and he smirks back at you. At this point, you’re fluming.
“I dont know. Maybe its because you’ve been more affectionate towards her than me? Maybe it’s because you’ve spent more time with her than me? Maybe it’s because every time i try and be a good girlfriend and bring you pop’s for lunch cause i know you get so focused that you miss lunch and i see you with your arm around her yet you wont even let me sit next to you half the time let alone touch me? Maybe because apparently you forget you have a girlfriend and canceled not one but three of our dates to hang out with betty when it most definitely could have waited?” You stand up and are shaking. “You won’t even answer one of my texts yet you’ll sit there and text her for a full 10 minutes? Tell Me, Jones. Why am i jealous?”
He just shakes his head and walks up to you. “You know we’ve been working on the paper and I have my novel to work on.”
“It won’t hurt the damn paper to give your actual girlfriend some damn attention.”
He chuckles again and grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer.
“Why are you more affectionate towards her than me, Jug?” You whisper as your voice breaks. “You guys actually look more like a couple than we do. Maybe we should-” Jug cuts you off with a kiss.
“Don’t.” He kisses you again.
“She needed someone to lean on as she found out some dark secrets about her family. It was nothing else.” Another kiss.
“As for us, you make my stomach do weird things when we touch.” And another. “And when you sit next to me, I get distracted.” Again except he pulls you flush against him during the kiss.
“I do love you more than anything.” He kisses your forehead this time. “I’m sorry I’ve been distracted lately.”
You lean onto his chest as he holds you.
“I love you too, Jug.”
Silence wraps around you as a blanket until Jug speaks up again.
“You are kinda hot when you’re mad.” He smirks.
“Shut it, Jones.”
#jughead x reader#jughead jones#jughead oneshot#jughead imagines#mentioned betty cooper#veronica lodge#kevin keller#riverdale#fics#my fics
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1/1/20
holy shit i haven’t spilled any thoughts in so long! i’ve changed so much! and i’m happier now. it’s a new decade! i have so much to say
2019 was a great year as i actually did things that would have made me uncomfortable. spring semester of 2019 was a shitshow i think i dropped a class and only took three. dropped diff eq with the bald guy and i remember sitting in class no thoughts head empty and trying not to cry. and then going to some tables on campus and calling mom and bawling and apologizing. somehow i got through the semester after crying over tests and assignments. OH i started lifting weights and working out and i love it. i love being strong. being healthy is something i’ve always wanted to work towards and the women on weights program was so enjoyable. i was trying to get rly toned to look good for the nct concert actually. unfortunately i haven’t worked out much since it ended :( hoping to get back into the gym once the semester starts again. i wanna be RIPPED for summer 2020 >:)
working at sweet hut was a great experience as i was able to learn more about myself and add to my resume! i actually learn pretty fast and even though i messed up a handful of times i just want to give myself some credit hehe. i liked making new friends there, as well as bonding with my cousin more. before, i would be a bit afraid of the long silences, but now we talk about whatever and never shut up <3 working a customer service job made me appreciate the fact that i am still working towards a degree. i don’t think i could do that for an extended period. my feet hurt every day and my hands were so dry and getting blisters like crazy. ofc night shift is crazy but i loved getting tons of tips each night. We Live In A Society. i think i became more confident in small talk? idk being on the register made me better but i didn’t even do it much. i also value customer service and tipping much more i always try to tip when i can. anyway i miss making drinks and burning the sugar on the creme brule.
after working i became more motivated to work hard in fall semester. for this semester i picked two classes to be on the other campus so i could see if i could actually talk to ppl. it wasn’t that much of a change but ppl are much more open to talking in the first week i guess. i’m gonna miss that. joining vsa was the best decision this year i think. it took some courage to talk to ppl first but working at SH helped me ton. because of that i made friends outside of class isn’t that wild? too bad it’s on the other campus bc i would go more often. i think my schedule might not work with vsa next semester idk :/ i went to my first College Party this year which was so much fun! i was nervous bc i only knew like three ppl but just mingle-ing is fun when ur buzzed. i think my tolerance is pretty high idk how many shots i took :| anyway hanging out with new friends i made makes me happy. definitely a highlight of this year! also school went better than before!!! my grades are not the best but i know i put in work so i think it’s okay. also i need to stop relying on chegg so much LMAO...commuting was harsh on me and took up SOOO much time. i only skipped class a couple times (mainly bc i was sick) so i’m proud. didn’t take classes on other campus this semester bc i’m lazy and would rather spend time studying in the library nearby.
love life is sad still. chemistry is SO important. i think through text is just as important as irl. i went on a date with this guy that was a boring and unfunny texter and was like lemme give it a shot maybe its diff irl. it was alright but so....boring like no flirting like.... also he was younger and i hate younger guys...feeling like a hag... anyway this semester im hoping to go on a date with a girl instead. i thought i had a crush on oomf but it was like for a week. idk if it would ever happen but i rly like his personality and humor. 2020 pls let me have a lover im bored lemme emotionally depend on someone
stanning bts is getting so hard tbh. i can barely keep up with content from LAST YEAR. so much happens. i only go on ig like twice a day and i go to like ten ppl’s twt i dont even scroll down the tl bc it overwhelms me LOL. just looking at bts overwhelms me like i feel anxious sometimes? bc i’m missing out on stuff...idk how to explain it but i think the mama speech from 2018 made me...humble? less focused? on them? like i don’t wanna be so attached and when the day comes that they d*sband i lose my mind. bc i was so devastated that day. kinda made me chill out. being busy with school and work also made it hard to focus on them. guess i really am growing up..but also i became so obsessed with nct i love the nct daily channel LMAO feels like i’m cheating but their content is easy to digest and i don’t get so emotionally invested i guess. when i watch bts i sit there and FOCUS and give them my full attention. nct is for after hw and just to chill. do i make sense? but as i’m on break and watching bts performances and run episodes, i realize how much i missed watching them. i love them so much still and always will! sometimes it shocks me how huge they are. like you can’t compare them to anyone now. they are the highest achieving group i think. PERIODT fjlajajhka thinking back to when they were smaller and i told myself i would support them no matter what and i didn’t care if they didn’t get big like i genuinely loved them and now they are loved worldwide like....my babies.....<3 uwu...it’s crazy how much they’ve achieved in 6 years. i’m so happy for them.
also shinee’s whole discography is on spotify now! i was listening to it the other day and CRYING like a baby. i miss jjong so much especially his voice. i remember being 11/12 and spending hours watching the shows they were on i really miss stanning them. their music brings back so many feelings. ugh so good.
my mental health has been pretty good this year i didn’t cry much and the source of my stress and sadness is always school. fall semester was pretty good. i learned recently that i get jealous over ppl only a little though. it just passes by in thought but i don’t voice it to anyone bc it’s stupid LMAO. i don’t think the jealousy is that bad just minor.
2019 was a great year. i never really noticed the changes and growth i experienced but it was really apparent this year and i’m glad i am evolving :) my goal for this year is to get fit and be more comfortable in the gym, gain experience in my field through joining clubs, and be even more social (also be better at driving hehe) i’m very thankful for those around me and i hope to be closer to friends in 2020. looking forward to going to vn in the summer!
let’s have a great 2020 jen! ♡
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