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#i haven’t been to the library cos i don’t know what to do when i get there

shadowbriar · 1 year

Text

Anthony Lockwood - I Love You So

Pairing : (F/M) || Anthony Lockwood x TouchGifted!Reader Word Count : 5.7k. Damn I’m on fire this time. Warning : Mention of blood and injury. Angst. Possible OOC as I haven’t read the books. Not proofread. Synopsis : The ambition they’ve nurtured for years finally start to create a space between them, straining their relationship that turns what once were friends into colleagues. Notes : Inspired by The Walters - I Love You So. This song is very Lockwood coded for me, I recommend listening to it while reading. Please help and try to save Lockwood & co by using the hashtag #SaveLockwoodAndCo on social medias and don’t forget to vote for them on National Film Award 2023. You can check my friend Paulina’s tweet to see how. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

Her fingers trace the writings on the thinking cloth, lips unintentionally curved into a smile whenever George's silly comment or Lucy's mocking remarks were visible. Their early bicker about their planning process replays in her head. She's always been one to easily record information in her head, no further recall or revising needed for her to proceed with their plans, but given her troublesome nights lately, supposed a late night go over with a cup of tea would be a brilliant idea.

“Trouble sleeping?”

She looks up, welcomed by smiling Lockwood who's leaning by the kitchen door, “Something like that.”

“Why didn't you come to the library?”

“Wasn't in the mood for a late night quarrel with you.”

She shot him a playful smile, earning a light chuckle that didn't sound like it was heartfelt. Just enough to let her know that he understood her sarcasm.

Lockwood steps in, pouring himself a cup of tea and sitting across her. She could feel his eyes trained on her, taking in every detail and admiring it as he wouldn't do it during the day. For whatever reason that might be, she wasn't sure. But it wasn't like he ever professed any feelings for her. For all she knows he might just be spacing out and planning something in his head completely unrelated to her.

He calls her name.

Not looking up to meet his eyes, she hums, “Hm?”

“We're good.. Aren't we?”

No, no we aren't, she thought. He might not notice it but the distance growing between them has been eating her alive. She wasn't sure when it started nor what exactly is the cause for her invisible wound, but something's changed between them. He would be there in the morning when they eat breakfast, would be there when they watch their late night show on the telly, but Lockwood has been anything but a friend to her. He's turned into a stranger she hardly recognise. There was a wall between them, one she couldn't climb nor break through, and it's maddening that she couldn't fix it or talk about it.

Because what exactly changed? She doesn't know.

“Of course.” She faked a smile, feigning her most believable tender tone “What makes you think we're not?”

Lockwood opens his mouth before closing it again, sealing it with a smile as if he thinks it would be better to entertain her lies, “Nothing. Just wanted to be sure.”

She nods, looking back down to the thinking cloth.

“Will you join me tonight?” He asks again, nervousness bleeds through his tone. This wouldn't be the first time he asks her to sleep with him, just to hold each other until the sun rises, but for some reason it feels much more nerve racking than the countless previous. Perhaps because for the first time, her answer might not be pleasant to his ear “We can discuss further about the plan. Maybe my rambling can help you drift to slumber.”

“Not tonight, Anthony.”

It's taken her every willpower to not look up and take her words back. She can imagine the disappointment in his eyes when she hears him let out a sigh. She's avoiding him now. Perhaps scared to actually feel the distance between them when she lays on his bed, no longer feeling the safety of his embrace.

“Alright,” He mutters as he stands and pushes his chair “Don't stay up too late, we need you sharp and alert for tomorrow's job.”

Again, she only replies with a nod.

When the doorknob lightly clicks, she lets out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding. Her eyes now avert to the door, where he was standing just a few minutes ago with that proud smile and tired eyes. He looks the same, the very same Anthony John Lockwood who'd caused them numerous troubles on the field, the very same Anthony who's ego seems to inflate whenever a rapier is at hand, the very same boy she's been madly in love with for years.

There were moments when she thought that the water flows both ways. When he would hug her first after winning a fencing tournament, or when he would hold her after a terrible nightmare, or simply when he would give her freshly cut toasts for breakfast. The little things one would not notice as something sentimental after years of growing up together. But she does. She notices.

Perhaps had even taken things too seriously when it might just mean nothing for him.

She lets out a sigh, running her fingers through her hair and rubbing her temples gently. It might just be nothing, she tries to convince herself, it might just be the stress of work for both of us. With the agency's growing popularity and demands of clients that never seem to end, perhaps all her troubles were just caused by it. That nothing is wrong between her and Lockwood, that there is no distance, no space between them.

—-

“Another massive win for us, I might say.” Lockwood says as the squad enters 35 Portland Row. His arm was around her shoulder as support, dried blood littering his left cheek from the early action of the mission, but neither the ache nor wound on his temple seem to wither his satisfied-self “The papers are going to have to write about us this time.”

Lucy groans as she tidies their rapier to the stand, “Keep me out from them, please.”

“Oh, but you're the star of this agency, Luce!”

Lucy dismisses Anthony's remark as she proceeds to ascend the stairs, visibly in desperate need of a warm shower.

“I wouldn't want to be involved too, thanks for asking.” George sarcastically commented with eyes still studying the locket they retrieved from the site. An ancient relic that would be his source of research for the weeks to come “You two would be enough of a punching bag for them to pick on.”

Lockwood turns to her as George retreats to his room, a happy grin still etched on his face, “Looks like it's gonna be us two again.”

“We can worry about the press later. You have a wound to treat first.” She replies as they begin to walk deeper into the house “And don't keep your hopes too high, Anthony. DEPRAC has a tendency to stomp on our dreams.”

Wincing slightly as he rests himself on the sofa, Lockwood watches her leave the room to get their med kit and a basin full of water. He could never get tired of this. Walking home after a successful mission, her tending his wounds that wouldn't be there if he would just suppress his impulsive-self, and listening to her scolds about how he acts like he's got nine lives on his sleeves.

But when she returned with her kit, the nagging that he's braced himself to face never came. She remained quiet, eyes locked on his wound. Not even a second spared to look into his eyes.

The cleaning process felt like a blink of an eye. Before he knew it she was already fixing the bandages back to the aid bag. His wound was cleaned, a thin layer of healing ointment lacing it. All done in silence, no lectures.

“Try to keep the wound dry when you shower, alright?”

Lockwood blinks. Nodding at her words as he tries to digest the silence they're in.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I don't think so.” He answers.

She flashes a smile, standing from her seat. Without another word she exits the room, carrying the basin that is now slightly red from his blood and the aid bag. She spared no other glance at him. Silently returning the medical kit to the cabinet before entering her room and locking it shut.

Perhaps today isn't a big win after all.

—-

Having Lucy in the company has exponentially boosted their success. Such brilliant talent has brought them more accomplishment that it was getting troublesome for them to finish one mission to another. Lucy was truly Heaven sent, in short. The saviour to their dying agency and she could never thank her enough to revive Lockwood's dream back to life.

She understands the importance of Lucy's gift for their team and how the company is at it’s golden moment right now. Sure she and Lockwood are two of the most gifted agents there are, but with Lucy in the crew, the quartet was unbeatable. And it is obvious that Lockwood is determined to reap as much advantage as possible.

“I'm going to the grocery shop, anyone needs anything?”

It was a lazy Sunday morning. George making notes on the thinking cloth, Lucy trying to listen to their newest source, and Lockwood leaning on the kitchen set with his brows furrowed, clearly in a deep thought.

“I'll come with you.” Lockwood says as he picks up his coat “George, you said we need more teabags, right? Anything for you, Luce?”

The girl shakes her head, looking rather annoyed to have her focus broken from his question.

“I can go alone, it's not going to be a huge shopping trip.” She says as Lockwood comes to her “Really, Anthony, you can just stay and help brainstorm the plan.”

“I'm coming,” He insists with a light chuckle “What is it with you? Are you avoiding me or something?”

Yes, she wanted to say, I'm going out to have a breath away from you.

Lockwood opens the door, gesturing to her to come and ignoring her lack of answer, “Come on then.”

With a last smile and wave of goodbye to George and Lucy, she follows Lockwood's step outside of the house. The wind was blowing gently, sky clear and blue, the very perfect weather for her to take a stroll yet her mind couldn't help but to overlook such perfection and worry about the body walking next to her instead.

Lockwood's hands were buried deep inside his pockets. He was looking down to the cobblestone, as if there was some invisible stepping for him to step on. The creases on his forehead are a clear indication that his mind is occupied elsewhere. Almost as if he was mirroring her.

“So, uh,” He begins, trying to break the ice between them “What do you need from the shop?”

“Just some snacks and sweets.” She answers “You?”

He shrugs, “Maybe just a pack of gum.”

“Right.”

Lockwood nods, turning his gaze back to the road.

For someone who loves to brood in silence, Lockwood has always had her as an exception. She's the only person he could let his chatter-self loose, expressing all the most trivial thoughts he has, knowing that she would indulge them with a welcoming commentary or simply a warm laughter. The kind of laughter that makes you feel seen and heard. Her kind of laughter.

But after all her evident effort to turn him down, asking to be paired with George on their missions, declining his invitations to spend the night in his room or the library, and the most recent no-scolding-moment when she tended his wound, Lockwood couldn't help but to feel pressured on finding a topic to talk about.

“So what do you think about our last job?” He asks, forcing a happy smile as she turns to see him “A rather brilliant achievement, don't you think? With Lucy in our team, I'm certain our agency can be big in no time. Hell, we might have to start rejecting clients soon, can you believe it? We're lucky to have found such gifted talent-”

“Lockwood,” She cuts in, making him wince at the use of his last name instead of his first “Can I ask you a favour?”

He blinks, “Anything.”

“Let's not talk about work until we get back home, okay? Can I ask that of you?”

“Sure,” He nods “Of course, no talking about work for the rest of our shopping trip.”

She flashes a smile in gratitude, locking their arms together as a means of apology for stomping on his light. He smiles at her, a genuine one, before patting the back of her hand and continuing their walk to the grocery shop.

—-

The trolley wheels through the aisle as she scans for the particular brand of chocolate. She would certainly need a big bar of it along with a pint of ice cream tonight. For once after what seems to be forever, she finally cracked the code. The cause of space that has been growing between her and Lockwood has been found. What is left now is to find a way to solve it and to tell him about how they need to separate their lives with the job.

When he first told her about his dream of having his own agency, she was ever the most supportive and kind. Dropping her brilliant achievements at the academy, she was the first or perhaps second agent of Lockwood & co. Their talents were more than enough to ever become the elite team if they were in another agency, but since the company was still on its baby roots, finding clients was rather challenging. Things were getting better when George joined and even more brilliant now that Lucy is part of the team. She would have never expected his dream to be in the way of their personal lives.

Everything is just work, work, and work now.

“Fancy seeing you here, stranger.”

She turns to see the man, a wide smile plastered on his face. Almost as radiant as his yellow leather uniform, “Quill, hi!”

“Oh, it's been forever.” He says as they share a hug “Are you here alone?”

“Lockwood,” She replies “He's wandering around but with you here, I'm sure he'll pop up in no time.”

The two chuckles at her commentary. Lockwood and Kipps were always the cause of her nightmares back in the academy. The two boys could never seem to act civil, always bickering and hostile to one another, but when she's alone with either of them, they would act the most gentle as if she was someone they love dearly for.

A different kind of love from each of the boys, of course.

“How are you?” She asks, her expression turns to slight worry “Is it getting any better?”

Kipps smiles painfully, “Barely holding on. We've got to make most of what we have, don't we?”

If there were no bad blood between the two she would have offered Kipps to join the agency years ago. Having known him for years and to see just how brilliant he was, the way his techniques were always showcased whenever they have a fencing duel, it is no wonder that people hold a big expectation on his shoulders. He was promoted as supervisor in no time due to his proficient skills but with his talent slowly weakening, he needed someone to help patch this rather embarrassing fragility.

“Have you given it a thought?” Kipps asks with a gentle tone “I heard that Lucy girl is of great help for your team. Do you think you could finally help mine instead?”

“Quill–,”

“Kipps,” Lockwood says as he circles his arm around her shoulder, showing a rather possessive manner at the sight of them “What are you doing here? You're not stalking us, are you?”

Kipps snorts, making a disgusted face at him, “This is a public space, Lockwood. Don't flatter yourself.”

Understanding that their time has come to an end, Kipps flashes her a smile and walks away. He knows that Lockwood wouldn't give them another second to talk so unless he'd want him to know about his persisting issue, it was best for Kipps to find himself out of the scene.

“What did he want?”

“Nothing, we just had a chat.” She lied, pushing Lockwood's arm off of her shoulder and continued to wheel the trolley.

“About what?”

“About nothing of your concern.” She replies “You might never see him as one but Quill's a friend of mine, Anthony. We were just having a friendly conversation.”

Lockwood frowns at her dissatisfying answer. She's keeping something from him but whatever it is, he knew that poking about it now would be the recipe for a nightmare. Her sour mood hasn't watered and it would be wise for him to just let her be.

Besides, it wasn't like she'd leave him. Not for Kipps of all people.

“Can I ask you something?”

Lockwood turns to her, a loving smile decorating his face, “Anything.”

“How are you, Anthony?”

He frowns, “Splendid, how are you?”

“No, I mean, how are you?” She repeats, sighing in frustration to convey her true meaning “I don’t know anything about you outside of work anymore. What music do you listen to now? What book do you read? Do you even read still?”

Lockwood remains quiet, waiting for her to continue with her words so he would understand better.

“I live under your roof, see you almost 24/7. You’re the first person I see in the morning and the last I would bid goodnight to, yet I feel like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”

“That’s not true.” He argues, still not understanding the severity of their discussion “You know everything about me.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t you?”

“Stop turning my questions to me, Anthony. You know I don’t like it when you do it.”

His chuckle breaks, now pulling her for a tight hug, “Is that what you’ve been worrying about? That you don’t know me anymore?”

She remains quiet.

“If there is anyone that knows me down to my fibre, it would be you.” He continues, patting her head gently to soothe her “I mean, I suppose I have been too occupied with work but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know me anymore. We still share our meals together, watch our favourite shows and spend most of our time together. You’re still the one friend that knows me best.”

“I suppose,” She gives in “I’m just worried that this whole ghost hunting thing is burying our reality because I genuinely can’t draw the line between work and our lives anymore.”

“Well, our life is the agency, is it not?”

She shrugs.

“Hey,” Lockwood calls, breaking the hug and cupping her face to look into her eyes “You know me. I’m not a stranger to you, alright? You know what my current favourite jam is, what kind of tea I enjoy at the moment, and what colour of socks I wear the most. We’re still the same people as we were five, ten years ago.”

She smiles, nodding as she melts into his sweet words, “Alright.”

—-

"Anthony, I don't like this."

The group puts down their bags as they arrive at the mansion. Examining the place from the outside, she can already tell that whatever is waiting for them inside isn’t anything close to what they’ve encountered before.

“It’s still a couple hours till sunset but the energy is already this strong.” She told him, her senses heightened in fear “We’re not equipped to fight such a visitor, Anthony. Best we go back, rethink our plan, and maybe ask for assistance.”

“From who? Kipps you mean?” Lockwood asks with a bitter expression. He rubs his nose, a habit he does whenever he’s trying to tone down a brewing exasperation “Look, we’ve been through this a hundred times. The plan is foul proof, I can assure you. By this time tomorrow we’ll be crowding the sitting room, watching whatever unknown movie George picks to enjoy.”

“This isn’t about your ego or old feud with Quill, Anthony. There’s nothing wrong in understanding your limit and drawing the line. No shame in dropping a job we’re not capable of.” She tries to reason “Think about our safety.”

“You’re safe,” He insists, placing his hands on her shoulders for assurance “Nothing bad will happen to any of us. I’ll keep an eye for you, I promise.”

Not giving her another second to argue, Lockwood walks away and begins to help Lucy fixing the metal chain. The inside of her stomach flips when the wind blows. She knows that even for people who aren’t gifted, the atmosphere the mansion offers is nowhere close to the word homey. There’s something dark and cold, peeking through the windows and she could feel it in her bones that none of them four is strong enough to battle such power.

She walks to George and begins unloading their equipment. Her brows furrow at the sight of a strange item. A circular ball that looks like their salt bomb, only that it is heavier and bigger in size.

“Careful,” George says as he takes it from her hand with care.

“What is that?”

“A new bomb.” He answers “It has salt, lavender, and some other chemical thing inside that would explode from sudden force. Throw it to the floor and whatever visitor we meet would evaporate to thin air.”

“That doesn’t sound very safe.” She mutters, turning her eyes back to the mansion “I hope we don’t have to use that tonight.”

She looks back at Lockwood’s direction, trying to ease her worry by repeating his words in her head. Lockwood knows what he’s doing. They’ve been through the plan a hundred times, just like he said. Nothing will go wrong tonight. Everything is collected and under control.

—-

“Make it stop!” Lucy wails, closing her ears tight with her hands “Please, make it stop!”

“George, give us the chains!” Anthony yells as he tries to calm Lucy.

George quickly runs to their aid as she tries her best to fight the ghost with her rapier. She might not be the best there is, but she’s neck to neck as good as Lockwood and that should give her friends enough time to cast more protection for Lucy.

It hasn’t even been two hours since they entered the mansion and already the plans they came up with burned to ashes. This is more than just a case of an old abandoned house. The amount of type two occupying the building is enough to tell them that their client hasn’t been truthful. This place must have witnessed a mass murder, perhaps a cult sacrifice, to hoard this much energy.

“We need to find the source.” She says as she battles the ghosts “I can’t use my talent while fighting these ghosts.”

As if on cue, Lockwood came and began to fight the ghosts. He turns to her for a brief moment, “Go. I’ll protect you.”

With a nod, she walks away from her spot, running to the other side of the room. She places her hands to the walls, trying to get a clearer picture of what they’re dealing with.

The sound of screams and crying begin to fill her ears. There was so much pain and sorrow. This mansion has seen the worst of human acts, inflicting as much agony as possible to innocent lives. Her consciousness was slipping away, drowning in the torment that she is sensing and if it wasn’t for Lucy’s scream of cry acting as her tether to reality, she would have sunk in a ghost-lock condition.

“The blade,” She says as she finally gets the idea of their source “The source is a blade. An old one with a gold handle and Latin engraving.”

“Great work,” Lockwood praises her, his prideful smirk tugging on his face “George, prepare the chain net. Be ready to cover it.”

“How exactly are we going to find it? It’s pitch black here.”

Lockwood chuckles, “Well, use your flashlight, why don’t you?”

The three of them now begin to scour the place whilst fighting the ghosts coming in their direction. The screaming in her head gets louder as they come closer to the source, almost deafening her physically. Her stepping was getting unstable. Energy and focus drained out of her with every bead of sweat layering her skin.

“Stop!” She yells, dropping her rapier as the cries become unbearable “It hurts, please stop!”

“Oh, no,” George, who was closest to her, now kneels down and tries to bring her back to consciousness as he lightly taps on her cheeks.

“George!” Lockwood calls, panic seems to finally sink in as he watches her wail in pain “The source must be close, try to find it. I’ll protect her.”

Nodding, George begins to crawl away and look for the damned blade. His hands found what seems to be an old cabinet and began to rummage through. With very limited lighting and no idea of what the blade looks like, searching for a piece of steel through a locker full of metal items feels fruitless.

Scanning from one drawer to the other, George lets out a satisfied chuckle as he finally finds what they’re looking for. But before he could take it out and cover it with their chain net, a handful of ghosts headed his way.

“George, watch out!”

In the heat of the moment, George throws the chain net to the drawer, hoping that it would land and cover the blade, before throwing the new bomb to the ghosts.

To their luck, the chain net did fall on top of the source but due to the close proximity and the lack of understanding of just how big the explosion the bomb would produce, George was thrown out of the wall from the impact. Bits of broken wood scratch his skin and there was a big gash on his forehead.

George was unconscious.

—-

Opening the keys to 35 Portland Row with a tired yawn, she put down her scarf and hung her coat by the rack. She’s been staying at the hospital for days, only returning home to take a shower and bring a new set of fresh clothes for George. Her body was aching. The scars on her skin from the previous mission are still fresh and hurting but none of it compares to the fatigue of worrying for George’s being.

The terror from that night still haunts her. How her head was filled with wails one moment to complete silence and darkness as George successfully covers the source. She remembers scanning the floor with her hands to find her flashlight, trying to get some light to understand their situation better, only to be completely frightened by the sight of George, lying unconscious with blood pooling around him.

“You’re home,” Lockwood greets, a relieved expression evident on his face.

She nods, not giving him an answer as she walks past him.

“How is he?” He asks as she gets to the stairs.

“Still unconscious but his vitals are stabilising.” She answers “You'd know if you visit him yourself.”

“I want to, but I need to finish the report and paperworks.” Lockwood reasoned, following her behind like a lost puppy “Lucy's out at the library to do some research about our next mission. With George at the hospital I think we'd need more time to make our plans.”

She rolls her eyes, fist balling as she tries to hold in her anger.

“I was wondering if you could go to the DEPRAC office on your way back to the hospital and drop the locket? Inspector Barnes called and-”

“Anthony!” She yells, finally turning to face the boy who's now pale from her sudden outburst “Are you even hearing yourself right now? Sending Lucy to work on our next job, asking me to stop by the DEPRAC office, you being busy in your little library, do you not even care in the slightest for George? He's lying unconscious at the hospital for a work I've told you to drop about!”

Lockwood remained silent. His expression is hard and unreadable.

“I've told you that we didn't have the equipment nor skills to do the job. I've told you that the visitors are much more powerful than the ones we've faced before. I've told you to at least ask for help for the task and yet you've dismissed it all and look what it's brought us, Anthony!”

“Yes, but we did it, didn't we? We secured the source.” Lockwood answers with feigned optimism, giving her his unsure smile as he steps closer “We took a hit, sure, but it's not like George didn't know what he was getting himself into.”

She blinks at his words. Now taking a step back away from him as she tries to digest his answer, “Is that what you're going to say when each of us falls?”

His expression softens, “You know I would never let anything hurt you.”

“Yet here I am.” She argues, her poison laced smile evident “Hurt and wounded.”

Lockwood was at a loss of words. He remained silent, staring at her with his pleading eyes that silently screams for her to drop this and forgive his faulty words. But his silence served as nothing but a mere slap to reality for her that Lockwood was just a boy with a naive dream and no understanding of the risks he's committing the team to.

“I thought this was all I wanted.” She says with a volume just above a whisper, a pitiful smile plastered on her face as she tries to keep her tone steady. The cracks of her breaking heart is visible through her expression “You're everything I want, Anthony.. But I can't deal with your ambitions anymore.”

Giving him no chance to explain, she retreats to her room and slams the door, leaving him defeated in the hallway. The house feels colder now somehow. As if the silence wasn't enough to weigh his guilt even more. Lockwood knew that he messed up but never had he imagined that he'd ruin things this far. Especially not with her.

—-

Days have been slightly better now that George's discharged from the hospital. The kitchen is once again filled with their chatter but not nearly half as much laughter as before. The nightmare of wounded George still haunts her days and torments her at night. She would never be able to work with the squad as she did before. Something has changed in her and there's no turning back now.

Lockwood on the other hand has tried every possible way to talk to her but with every chance he makes to pursue her, she just has a hundred more ways to turn it down and avoid him. Her silent treatment was driving him nuts and it would be an understatement to say that he's desperate to fix it.

Now sitting in his study room, Lockwood turns to the door as he hears a light knock. She peeks inside with a slight smile, the most he's gotten after their fight a couple weeks ago.

“Can I come in?”

“Have I ever said no?”

She nods, stepping inside the room timidly. A piece of paper in her hand.

“What is it?” He asks with a warm smile, hoping that this would be the start of their reconciliation “What can I help you with?”

She looks down to the letter in her hand, sighing before handing it to him, “I wanted to give you my resignation letter.”

Lockwood stares at her blankly, not moving from his chair.

Gently, she reaches for his hand and hands him the paper. Lockwood's eyes were glued on her, trying to catch any trace of jest from the words she uttered. He prays for all gods out there to let this be a joke. Some cruel prank she's pulling on him as payback for his dickhead move for the past months. But as the ticking of the clock in the room grew louder, her playful smile never appeared.

“Why?”

“Anthony–”

“I promise to do better, I swear it.” He begs, standing from his seat and carelessly putting the letter away “I'll make better plans, I'll calculate each and every possibility there is and I'll listen to you better. Any input you have, I'll highlight it and make it work. Please, just– Don't leave. Don't leave me.”

She had to look away from his eyes before her fortress crumbled. Lockwood knows just when to put those big puppy eyes out and win her heart. But there's just so many times she could spare herself for him. There's just so many chances she could give and no matter how much she wishes and prays that this time would be different than the last, she knew that the damage done would still leave scars on them. An invisible one that could only be healed with time and space.

“Please,” Lockwood begs, seeming on the verge of tears “Name your price. Anything, please, just say it.”

“What I want you cannot give, Anthony.” She answers with a bitter smile “Because if you could, I know you would have given it to me years ago.”

“Just name it, please. Do you want a rise? Do you want to switch rooms? Do you want your name to be the agency's name? Because I can do that. We can just change the company's name to yours.”

A tear escapes her eyes. She knows that he was being genuine, that he was willing to give up anything to make her stay. But even with all he offers to give, Lockwood still couldn't see the one thing she desires of him.

And it's crystal clear to her now that he could never give the one thing she needs of him.

Placing her hands to his cheeks, she cups him gently and smiles, “You're going to be a brilliant agent, Anthony. Lockwood & co will be the best agency there is, I know it. I believe it.”

“Then why are you leaving?” He asks with a defeated tone “Why won't you be here with me?”

Because you won't love me the way I love you, she thought.

“Please,” Lockwood pleads “I can't lose you too.”

Pulling him for a hug, his dam finally breaks as sobs begin to echo in the room. He holds her tight, afraid that she would disappear if he loosens his embrace just a little. He would miss the sweet scent of her shampoo, the warmth of her body when he needed some comfort after a terrible nightmare, and her joyful laughter that always seemed to drunken him in bliss.

If only he would tell her exactly how he feels.

“You'll never lose me, Anthony.” She whispers to his chest, listening to his heartbeat before they part “I'm yours, always.”

↠ If You’re Going to Break My Heart

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ethereallocs · 1 year

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Let Me Show You-Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen!Reader Cousin

This is based on an anonymous request…

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen Reader! Cousin

Content/Warning: !!🔞 PLUS ONLY!!, Smut, slight femme dom action,Incest, p in v penetration, masturbation, blow job, fingering, and choking.Characters have been aged up.

Summary: A rainy day in a quiet a library can lead to a lot of mischief…

As children you and Jace were always very close and now that your mother and father, Rhaenyra and Daemon had married it only made the two of you closer. The two of you were either seen together often either sitting under the Godswood whilst you ready to him, or sparring one another and in most cases you bested him. Now the two of you were betrothed and there couldn’t be a better match.

You weren’t what the realm would call a maiden. If you were being honest your maidenhood had been gone for quite sometime now and your curiosities about your soon to be husband often kept you up at night. You would find yourself coming undone when your fingers would find there way to your heated and soaking core. Today it was a gloomy day and you and Jace decided to take each others company within the library. And this would be the day you would find out what your sweet cousin was capable of.

“Dubazma?” “Cousin?” , you spoke in a sing-song almost teasing tone trying to gain Jacaerys’s attention. You knew he didn’t understand much of the old language but he looked up and smiled at you boyishly. “Yes, Y/N?” The question that was ready to leave your lips was rather blunt, but it had to be asked. “Have you bedded a woman, Jace?” His cheeks flushed in embarrassment and he wasn’t too sure how to respond, since he had not bedded any woman for the matter. “Oh, you haven’t. Jace you’re still a virgin…?”

Your tone mocking him, but you also found it rather cute. The innocence he still held within his eyes. Biting into the lush flesh of your bottom lip, the many ways you could corrupt him simmering in her mind. “Have you every thought about it, Dubazma?” You giggled mischievously walking around to his side of the table letting your fingers dance along the smooth surface on your way to him, wrapping your arms about him, your hand rubbing along the fabric that covered his chest. “I..I do not know what you mean, cousin.” He trembled from your touch. His cock hardened instantly, threatening to peek through the fabric of his pants.

“Don’t play coy, cousin. I’m sure you do…you are a man..are you not, Jacaerys?” You whispered the warmth of your breath hitting his skin caused a shiver to go down his spine. “Yes, Y/N I am.” His breath hitching in his throat, feeling your breasts pressing against his back. “So I’m sure you think about a beautiful maiden coming undone on your cock. Yes? And I know you must touch yourself.” You were a little nymph causing chaos. Running your fingers across the part of his pants where a slight pique was seen. His body tensed, the heat within his stomach growing hotter with every touch from you.

You reveled in how nervous you made him. Your soft lips laying chaste kisses on his neck. The hand that teased his pulsing member quickly found it’s way within his pants feeling the warmth and girth of his cock. Your cunt was already dripping from your own arousal, your thighs rubbing together to relieve the ache. “Y/N…this isn’t a good idea..what if we’re seen? You giggled, “They’d have to marry us on the morrow I suppose.”

Squeezing his cock a moan came from you both and the desire within you had to be satiated. Removing your hand you ducked underneath the table quickly freeing the throbbing beast from its cage. Even with you feeling him you couldn’t have imagined how well endowed he was. You licked your lips and smiled up at him while he watched in complete silence. He was in awe and just how naughty you were and how turned on he was by it. “Please, let me show you, ñuha zaldrīzes.” “my dragon.”

Your tongue licked from the base to the tip of his cockhead. He watched you in amazement, feeling nothing but pleasure radiating through him. You smile up at him slowly taking the entire length into your mouth and down your throat barely gagging. “Oh Gods…”, he groaned his head leaned back and his jaw slacked. You watched him underneath hooded eyes filled with lust.

You moaned at the taste of him, while your fingers found your clit rubbing slow intense circles around it. Your juices dripping down your inner thighs. He writhed within his seat keeping his hands to his sides barely keeping himself together. You smirked to yourself and pulled away not wanting him to explode just yet. Getting up you sat on the wooden table hiking up your skirts so your bare ass rested against the smooth surface. Legs wide you exposed your needy cunt to him.

“Do you want to try something for me, my love?” He was too busy staring at that pretty little cunny of yours to hear so you grabbed his chin making him look at you. “Y…yes.” He responded before you crashed your lips into his. The kiss was a mess it seemed to be his first you thought. Teeth clashing, lips desperately trying to find one another he couldn’t hold back anymore and grabbed your waist pulling you in closer.

You pulled away and he followed wanting your lips against his again. “Can you lick me too, my Prince?” You mused leaning back slightly on your hands. He but his lip hungrily. “Yes, but I’m afraid I won’t be any good at it.” You giggled and leaned forward kissing him again before leaning back. “That’s alright, I’ll teach you.”

He pulled you in your ass now on the very edge your legs resting over his shoulders while he was underneath the skirts of your dress. He inhaled your scent and growled lowly and how your smell enticed him so. “So first…open up my cunny and you should see a small bud.” He did as he was told and quickly found what she was describing brushing a finger past it slightly causing her to jump. “Yes, that’s it. So your going to lick that with your tongue, not to rough or too soft. But, with enough pressure that it feels just right.” He hesitated but did as she said, cooing from the taste of her only stopping to be reassured that he was pleasing her.

Her hand reached to run through his short brown locks and he continued his sweet assault on her clit. Her hips bucking into him every now and then making his nose hit her sensitive bundle of nerves almost sending her over the edge. “You’re doing so good…” You can barely get your words out and with your reactions, Jacaerys is growing more and more confident. He begins to take control lapping and sucking vigorously. Your back arches from the immense pleasure you were feeling.

“Oh Gods..yes…yes..” Your almost there ready to come undone on his tongue at any second and then he stopped causing you to chase after that high that was slowly leaving you. He peeked from your dress standing to show he throbbing cock. Which looked rather painful with how aroused he was. He looked at you his eyes begging for relief from this torment and you knew exactly how.

Grabbing his cock you led him to your entrance. Lining him up with you properly your violet eyes stayed on his and in an instant it’s like something clicked within him and he knew. His hips bucked forward slowly pushing himself into you. The stretch was different than what you experienced before, but the way he filled you up was amazing. Your back arched and his wrapped his arms around your waist feeling your slick walls taut around him.

After letting himself and you get use to one another he began pumping into. His cock reaching places you didn’t even know existed. “Oh..fuck, Jacaerys.” You tried your best to stay quiet in this library, but it was impossible. Your sighs and cries of passion echoed about the walls and anyone nearby could definitely hear you. Is this what he was missing? He thought to himself, burying his face into your neck. His teeth sinking into your flesh while his hands grabbed onto the soft plush flesh of your ass.

He growled like an animal taking what was his and you had no idea he had it in him. He was usually so sweet, but right now he was giving you exactly what you wanted. You could feel yourself getting close to your pique again and he hesitated knowing his climax was soon approaching as well, but he pressed on kissing you desperately moaning and growling into your mouth in excitement. “Mmm..please keep going..I-I’m going to come…”

Burying his face into your chest his moans grew louder and his pace picked up until your slick painted his cock causing him to spill his seed inside of you. Stream after stream of his seed filled your womb and you sighed in relief. He panted heavily kissing your lips, face and neck. Wanting to do it again, but the giggles of hand maidens quickly brought the two of you out of your orgasmic haze. “I think that wedding might be coming sooner than we expected, ñuha zaldrīzes.”

To be continued?…

I hope you all enjoyed!!!! It’s supposed to be a one shot, but if you’d like me to continue let me know in the comments. 💙

#jacaerys x you #jacaerys valaryon x reader #prince jacaerys #jacaerys strong #jacaerys fic #jacaerys smut #hotd jacaerys #fic rec #hotd fanfic

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space-mermaid-writing · 3 months

Text

The Vamp and the Were [IronStrange]

Summary: Tony would mark the day he met a vampire that did not immediately jump at his throat. Just for once – that would be a nice change.

Relationship: Werewolf!Tony Stark / Vampire!Stephen Strange

Tags: hurt/comfort, idiots in love, angst, fluff

Chapter 6: Wong isn’t surprised nor concerned

Tony couldn’t believe he was here. He should avoid this place. Never come back here. Or better; burn the whole thing down.

But Tony needed answers. God, he had so many questions.

He swallowed the boiling anger and knocked on the door of the sanctum. After a few seconds, it was Wong who opened.

He looked coldly at Tony. “Are you here to kill Stephen?”

One trait Tony appreciated in the man was that he was always straight to the point. No sugarcoating involved.

“Haven’t decided yet. Not before I talk to him.”

Wong nodded, deemed his decision fair. He walked away and left the door open for Tony, who followed inside.

“Are you also a bloodsucker?” he asked the sorcerer.

“No.”

“Prove it.”

“No.”

It sounded more like he didn’t care enough to do so. It could be exactly what a vampire would say. Wasn't it convenient that magic helped mask his smell? He could be anything; vampire, demon, ghoul… okay, no ghoul. Those were pale and rather bloated. They really looked the undead part. Like zombies.

Wong reached the big staircase and turned towards him. “Look, some sorcerers are vampires, some are human. We can co-exist if we really try. But I understand that your experience with vampires in the past hasn’t been the best.”

That was probably the longest Tony had ever heard Wong talk, so he didn’t quite know what to say. But the man was right that Tony was biased in his opinion about Vampires ever since they killed his parents and kidnapped him in Afghanistan.

Wong continued talking, walking upstairs. “Stephen is sulking in the library. Please don’t damage any books should you choose to fight him.”

The nonchalant way Wong talked about it made Tony wonder if he just didn’t care or if he didn’t think that Tony could actually hurt Strange… wait, sulking?

The Were made his way to the library. He was by now used to the unnecessarily long and weird hallways of the Sanctum. The maze-like paths were different every time he walked them, but he mostly ended up at the right place – sooner or later.

Only now did he realize that the building was perfect for housing vampires. No matter the temperature outside, it was always slightly too cool inside. And the windows showed different scenery, but there was never direct sunlight pouring in.

There was so much about the doctor's behavior that only now made sense. During the day, they had only met indoors when Tony was visiting the Sanctum. And their missions were always scheduled for the nights. Sometimes in the late evening or early morning, but especially those morning meetings the sorcerer had always kept quite short.

Stephen never ate any food Tony brought. He always had a plausible excuse at hand: he had just eaten, or wasn’t hungry.

Tony had been blind not to see the clues. Blinded by his crus-… friendship.

But that friendship was based on lies.

He finally entered the library. Stephen was reading, but had noticed his arrival, for he had lowered his book and fixed his gaze on Stark. His posture was tense.

Tony stopped in front of him and crossed his arms. “So?”

“So what?” Strange didn’t move. He was perfectly still, like a statue.

“Don’t you have anything to say? Like an apology for deceiving me?”

Stephen clenched his teeth. He was sure there weren’t any words that would help his case. “I have nothing for you.”

Tony’s anger flared up. “Really? Nothing? You lied to me!” he accused the sorcerer.

“I did not. I corrected you when you called me a witch. But you never once asked me if I was a vampire.”

The Were emitted a low growl, mostly in annoyance. “That’s a technicality and you know it.”

“What do you want me to say?” Strange asked him angrily. “Sorry I didn’t tell you I was a vampire the first time I met you – Tony Stark, Vampire Hunter? You would have killed me immediately.”

“You kinda saved my life so I would have at least waited a minute or two.” At least Tony liked to think that. But fact was that regarding the undead he usually shot first and asked questions later.

He growled again and this time Stephen hissed back, suddenly on his feet with his fangs out and his eyes flaring red.

The tension in the room was palpable as they faced each other – but nobody leaped forward. Nobody attacked first.

“Why did you come here?” Stephen asked.

“I don’t know…” Tony deflated visibly, his shoulder sagged. He had already wondered about the same question. “I just…” Realizing that he wasn’t about to kill Strange, that he didn’t want to do that, he flopped on the couch and looked at the sorcerer with his big brown puppy eyes. “Why did you take the bullets for Peter?”

Stephen too sat down. Albeit a little slower, on an armchair. His posture still was anything but relaxed, but he seemed less wary than before. He interlocked his fingers.

“The same reason why I protect the world from evil. And the same reason why I saved you from that rogue vampire all those months ago: I’m a doctor. I save lives.”

Tony snorted. “Last time I checked vampires had to drink human blood in order to survive. I don’t think there’s a vegan option here.”

“Blood bags.”

“Huh?”

Stephen looked up from his hands at Tony. “I haven’t taken blood from a human in a long time. Blood bags are sufficient.”

Tony didn't seem convinced. “Where do you get them?”

The Vamp looked at him as if it was obvious. “I used to work in a hospital and I still have a lot of connections.”

Tony stored that information away for later. The finger of both of his hands touched at their tips, his gaze fixed on them without really seeing them.

Nobody said anything. They both weren’t entirely sure where they stood with each other.

Finally, the Were sighed and rolled his shoulders. “Can I have a coffee?”

It made Stephen relax visibly - even if his posture still remained all proper - because he realized that if Tony asked for a drink, things would turn out okay.

“Of course.”

With a motion of his hand, Tony’s favorite mug appeared on the small table. Gratefully, the Were reached for it.

He still had a lot of questions. Like when did Strange get turned? According to reports, it was a painful and unpleasant procedure. Did he undergo it voluntarily?

Most Vamps did not – who would want to be a monst-… hunted by the government and society?

How had he achieved such good self-control?

And, “Does that mean you finally start eating in front of me? Or more like drinking. I was starting to think you had some kind of eating disorder. Not that I would judge that…”

Stephen's eyebrow wandered up. How could someone undead act so alive in his facial expressions?

“What I’m saying is,” Tony continued, “I wouldn’t mind if you drink your juice boxes in front of me.”

“They are not juice boxes,” the Vamp insisted.

“They are if you stick a straw in them.”

Stephen looked like he wanted to strangle him.

But he didn’t. He was perfectly in control. Probably more than some Weres Tony knew. Actually, he could never imagine Stephen attacking him.

___________

Tony: "I could never imagine Stephen attacking him." Me, the author of this story: "Yeah, well…about that…"

Tag list: @jekyllhydetrash @goopierthenyou Tell me if you wanna be added/removed

#ironstrange #doctor strange #tony stark #Vampire Stephen Strange #Werewolf Tony Stark #stephen strange #marvel #mcu #strangeiron #The Vamp and the Were #spacemermaid writes

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focsle · 10 months

Note

If it’s not too much—would you mind talking a bit about how you research specific, near-nameless people and what your process is for that kind of thing? It’s such a different task than researching, say, a specific topic in history, and not a skill I’ve really had a chance to develop. I really admire your dedication and thoroughness to your whalemen and want to be able to afford that same level of comprehensiveness, without knowing where exactly to start…..

I’m gonna answer this with many a caveat! So depending on what you’re researching it might be helpful or it might be useless

The first caveat is that I can only answer in a US-centric capacity, and, when I’m getting more granular information, a New York City capacity. But these records exist for municipalities elsewhere too—it’s just the extent and accessibility of which that will vary.

A lot of people slip through the cracks when it comes to official documentation and you might not be able to find them/find much on them. For instance race, class, and gender are going to play a significant role in how someone’s life is recorded, if it’s recorded at all. And there’s a lot of human error in old record keeping that can make someone hard to find. The only reason I was able to find out as much about my friend Mr. Buel as I did, despite him dying at around age 21, was because he came from a middle class background in an urban location and his father was a rather prominent physician at the time, so his lifestyle before he went whaling was captured more clearly across census records and school records.

Whaling history is a rather unique window of time in that it’s wonderfully documented, and a lot of these otherwise forgotten ordinary guys thus have some record of their existence on crew lists. Adding to that, hundreds of whaling journals have been preserved and digitized. Most of them are logs, so they’re impersonal, but there are also a handful of personal diaries which are a rarity and luxury to have. These men would often talk about their friends and families, hometowns, old jobs, etc. And, from a non-research standpoint, it’s always an honor to be able to learn about someone’s emotional world through their own words. As such, my research and how much I’m able to find out about these men is really privileged by the fact that I often have a good amount of baseline info already that I can plug in to find out more. And if I don’t….odds are they were probably a Young Twenty Something in the year they were whaling so I can guesstimate a birth year and usually find them after cross referencing more.

So, what to cross reference? I’ll talk about it below under the readmore cos it got long.

The easiest place to start is geneology websites. Ancestry.com is the most utilized and has the widest availability of records. You can find the census, marriage certificates, naturalization certificates, passports, death certificates, military documents, ship manifests, baptismal records, wills, and more. It’s also ridiculously expensive. Familysearch is a free alternative with less records, though I haven’t used it myself. You could try Ancestry’s free trial to farm as much as you can (and cancel before) or wait for a bulk sale that they do sometimes (that’s still stupid expensive). But it’s very hard to cancel a subscription (it’s always set to autorenew) without them hitting you with a cancelation fee once they have your card number. I believe you can avoid this by gifting yourself a subscription so they don’t have a credit card to charge and thus it won’t autorenew. It’s ridiculous, but unfortunately one of the better options as far as ease of use, searchability, access, and scope of records. There are also library versions of it that you could access for free if it’s available at a branch near you. It makes me so mad that….the census is paywalled. Fuck em.

With all that said, census records are great places to start if you know someone’s name. Even better if you know more specifics such as approximate birth year, other family members’ names, occupation, location, etc. There are federal censuses (every 10 years), as well as state censuses (records vary by state what survives and how often they were taken, as well as what questions were asked). But they aren’t perfect. Anything prior to 1850 is only going to list the head of household, and other household members are nameless and simply grouped in age and gender brackets. Prior to 1880, you won’t be able to find anyone based on a specific street address because each house was numbered in order of visitation by the enumerator instead. This was a puzzle for me when I was trying to figure out where Buel lived, because his school papers listed a home address, but when I searched it, it was several blocks away from the election district the census said he lived in. So I used fire insurance maps and realized that the house numbers had changed rather dramatically from the 1850s to now. Through those I found his actual home location by matching the address and election district to the map.

Sanborn fire insurance maps are great if you want to know more about a specific part of town in the 19th and 20th centuries, as well as the actual house numbers in that time. The New York Public Library digitized a number of them, and iirc they have other states too. These maps were highly specific about what each building was made out of, what sort of industries or shops were around it, houses of worship, parks, etc. It won’t tell you anything specific about an individual person, but does add some texture to their life.

While the census is a good jumping off point, it has a number of issues like those mentioned above, and beyond. The 1870 census was so incorrect the first time around it had to be conducted again. The 1890 census was largely destroyed in a fire and so those records are lost. There is going to be a lot of human error. Enumerators might accidentally skip addresses or people. They’re inevitably also going to mark down incorrect or reductive information about those people. The racial identity of people was particularly misrepresented by enumerators often, as it wasn’t self id but the enumerator passing a judgment within ever changing and limited ‘categories’ that shifted with each census. Ages are going to be variable. Names might be misspelled or a person might change their name (tho I have to plug in here that no one’s names were changed at Ellis Island! It’s a huge myth that is so deeply enduring! Didn’t Happen! Except for one person named Frank Woodhull! Look him up sometime for some Gender Nonconforming History). Also, more than one person can have the same name as someone else living at the same time. That’s just how it is. So that’s where cross referencing is important. Trace the person across records—do you see the same family members, do you see marriage records that could account for changes, do the ages and years make sense, all of that. It’s like putting together a puzzle. Sometimes the puzzle is never completed. Sometimes people just disappear from the record entirely.

For looking for people outside of the census years, city directories can be good for that. Again, a lot of cities had these—New York’s are digitally accessible through the NYPL. These came out every year and basically functioned like a phonebook, usually listing someone’s name, occupation, place of work, and home address (and sometimes limited racial signifiers, if the person was not white). Directories are again, not perfect. They only list people who were ‘gainfully employed’, and it’s very rare to see women in them because of the limited types of work open to women while the directories are in use. But it’s another way of piecing things together. For instance I found the first name and address of my other friend Mr. J.E.Haviland (Jacob), by taking what he mentioned in his journal (the names of brothers, his particular skillsets, and an acquaintance of his who used to work in the same neighborhood as him with specific street names), and ultimately finding a man who matched in the city directory in the years he would be working in that neighborhood. Again, puzzles!

The National Archives also has TONS of documents (I’ve dug through them for seamen’s protection certificates as well as US Consular records to find out about things that may have happened to men abroad), and a lot of them are digitized. The problem is they aren’t often easily searchable so you spend a lot of time staring at rather poor scans and folders containing hundreds of pages of stuff. But if you know more or less what you’re looking for, it’s a possibility. The Library of Congress also has a number of public records available and digitized, as well as searchable newspapers in Chronicling America. And all of that is free. Findagrave, also free, can be helpful in finding cemetery plots as well as other family members who might be buried there that could help in further cross referencing info. And check the municipal archives / libraries in the location you’re researching as well if they’re accessible—they often have public records or could help steer you in the right direction.

Court records can be interesting as well, and can usually be found in state/municipal archives. In the absence of diaries, police court records are one way to hear someone’s voice, just for a little moment. Granted, it’s often their voice in defending themselves, but I’d say police court records are, unfortunately, one of the few ways to hear marginalized perspectives which otherwise don’t have much presence in the government record. Sensationalist newspapers would often publish bits from them. As such they must be taken with a huge grain of salt, but it’s another avenue to find a piece of someone’s life

The last thing I’ll say is the only research subscription thing I pay for currently is Genealogy Bank, on the subject of newspapers. It was also expensive (though I got a bulk sale), but feels worth it to me right now. It’s pretty amazing, and not just for researching people but topics. The searching isn’t always particularly accurate, but it’s a WEALTH of newspapers (more than Newspapers.com I believe), that is searchable and can be narrowed by state, city, and all the specific newspapers published in that city over a couple centuries. You can look up names or keyword search anything else and specify specific days and date ranges. It’s good. Again, not a perfect search system, but it’s better than Chronicling America imo.

Depending on who you’re researching, archive.org is also invaluable. Look at the pages of libraries / museums / other academic institutions there to see what they got. It’s where I find all my whaling diaries.

That’s all I can think of for now! Hope it was helpful!

#asks #anonymous

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beautouslysandy · 1 year

Text

Library Crush/Butterflies

Ponyboy Curtis x GN!Reader

By- Sandy

Warnings: None

Word Count: 634

Note- Just a adorable little one-shot with cute Ponyboy

______________________________________________

-You and Ponyboy don’t have much in common but if there one thing that you can agree on is a good book.

-Ponyboy has always had a little crush on you, he doesn’t go to the public library much pretty close to not at all but since you started working there he has been coming up with excuses to go just to see you.

-Ponyboy thinks his brothers don’t know about his little crush on the 15 year old who works at the library but they do.

-He gives you the butterflies, like a mad man

••••••

You were checking out someone at the register, it was around half past ten o’clock in morning and you already wanted lunch or a break. You can get very bored at the library but then something reminds you why you started working here in the first place. Most of the time it’s someone checking out a personal favorite book of yours. But recently it’s been this boy that comes every now and then. You don’t know if it just cause he is cute or if you truly have a crush on him but he gives you butterflies. You have never felt this way before, until him. “Is that all today, miss?” You asked the women you were checking out politely

“Yes, thank you dear. Have a wonderful rest of your day!” She gleamed

“Next?” You said unconsciously due to habit as you skimped through a book

“Hey Y/N, how’s it goin?” A familiar voice said

You looked up to see Ponyboy, you got that feeling in your stomach again. Butterflies.

“Hi Ponyboy, it’s been getting along fine, you?” You said taking the book he had and checking him out

“It’s been fine, not much is happening.” He replied softly

You looked at the book and saw that he was checking out a favorite of yours, you blushed a bit. “Gone of The Wind is one of my favorites.” You said smiling

“Really? I haven’t gotten the chance to fully read it…” He said flustered

“Mhm. Well now you get too, enjoy!” You said handing him the book with the book card. “Well I best be getting now, see you around?” He asked hopefully, he looked like he didn’t want to leave

“See you around..” You said with a smile

With that he left heading to the front doors, you sighed. “Y’all are a cute couple” The next person in line said

“We aren’t a couple. We are just friends..” You said getting pink as you grabbed her books

“For now at least, sweetie” She said with a smile

———

You were leaving for your lunch break, you left the library and headed to nearest diner. The only one. When you got there you saw Ponyboy talking to a brunette taller than Ponyboy and a another brunette with darker hair around maybe even shorter than Ponyboy. You ignored it and walked to the diner, you were starved. “Y/N?” You heard that familiar voice say

You turned to see Ponyboy behind you, you got the butterflies.

“Oh hey! What a coincidence.” You said calmly

“Yeah that’s for sure, would you like to join me and my friends we’re about to head in?” He asked looking into your eyes intensely

You froze for a second “Um sure, sounds nice!” You replied

“Good. Dally, Johnny let’s go!” He said calling to his friends

You all entered the diner and got a booth. Of course Dally sat next to you. You knew of him, and what you knew wasn’t good. “Could you stop looking at me like I am a gourmet desert.” You said coldly

“You’re firstly, huh doll?” He teased with a smirk

“Ew, what did you just call me!” You said with a disgusted look on your face, you heard Johnny and Ponyboy laughing.

“I don’t like you, doll.” He said with a cold stare

“Don’t call me that.” You replied

“So, what do y’all to eat?” Ponyboy asked looking at you

———

After lunch you started heading back to the library for your next shift but a hand grabbed your arm. “Hmm?” You said turning around to see Ponyboy

He kissed you on the cheek and then ran the other direction. You were so confused but your heart had just melted.

The next day, Ponyboy asked you out on a date. You and butterflies said yes.

I found this post so cute, hope y’all like it!

-Sandy

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders ponyboy #ponyboy imagine #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy curtis x reader

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cookies-over-yonder · 10 months

Text

A Start

CO-WRITTEN BY @silverlistenstothings

After hearing about Hermie’s reaction to the news about Nicky, Cassandra and Hermie have a chat.

Part 17 of The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Roommates

ao3

Hermie was avoidant at the best of times, but it’s only gotten worse since the Arcade Incident. Where she used to see him for a few minutes at a time before he could dismiss himself in a slightly more subtle way, now Cass would only catch glimpses of him before he skittered off to the safety of his room, even if that meant abandoning Taylor or whatever else he was doing downstairs. It was worrying , so much so that even Taylor seemed to be able to tell.

On the day she tells Taylor about Nicky, his first priority is running upstairs to tell Hermie. When he returns from his room half an hour later, his enthusiasm has noticeably dwindled. He wanders down the stairs, sits down beside Cass, and curls into her side.

“What’s the matter, honey?” Cass asks, throwing her arm around his shoulders. He huffs, chewing at his lower lip as he seems to ponder his answer.

“I’m worried about Hermie,” he admits. “They seemed to think we were gonna kick them out so Nicky could move in? And they were like—really freaked out about it.”

Oh. Yeah, that seems to line up with everything Cass has seen from him (them? Probably them, as that’s what Taylor has used to refer to them every other time except for at the library. Another thing to ask about, Cass supposes).

“I don’t want them to move out.” Taylor explains. “I like having them around, but I don’t know why they seem to—it’s like they don’t believe me when I tell them that. They’re usually really good at reading people, so I don’t know why they seem to think I don’t like them?”

“I don’t think it’s your fault, baby,” Cass assures, hugging him a little bit closer when his voice starts to pitch up nervously. “I think they have their own stuff going on that makes it hard for them.”

“Yeah, they do,” Taylor agrees, but he doesn’t seem relieved. “I don’t know how to help them.”

“It’s not your responsibility to. You’re just a kid too, you know.”

Cass ruffles his hair, and hates how much it feels like a lie. He is just a kid, but he’s been forced to grow up far too fast. He still seems a lot more like the son she knew than Lincoln and Normal, from what she remembers about them before and has seen from them now, but he’s still different. Different in the little horns that push their way through his hair and the scar around his neck, different in the constant glances around the room and the haunted look he gets in his eyes far too often. It's not that he's lost his spirit—Cass knows this as something that can never die—but it's… dimmed. It's quieter, scared, more uncertain. Taylor's always been clingy and cuddly, but something about the way he latches onto her lately feels more like love mixed with… fear.

And it terrifies her to not know the extent of it.

“But nobody else is,” Taylor says, cutting into her thoughts. “Their parents all suck and Normal says they haven’t been responding to his texts and they said they don’t have any friends at school.”

Cass hums, equal parts understanding and sympathetic.

“I’ll talk to them, okay?” Cass offers. “Do you think they’d be up for it tonight?”

Taylor shakes his head quickly. “Probably not. They fell asleep.”

“Okay,” Cass nods.

She opens her mouth to ask if Taylor wants to be part of the conversation, but quickly thinks better of it. She knows they’re a lot more comfortable with Taylor—not that that’s saying much—but she doesn’t want to make it feel like an intervention. Besides, if even Taylor is concerned, the situation must be worse than she thought, and she doesn’t want Taylor to have to deal with whatever fallout there might be.

Yes, it’s best to do it herself, she decides. She doesn’t have to go into the studio tomorrow, so she can talk to them in the morning after Taylor leaves.

oOo

The next morning, Hermie disappears into their room the moment Taylor leaves. She waits for them to come down for school, ready to offer them a ride—conversations are always easier in the car—but they don’t. Almost an hour passes, and Cass wonders if she missed them somehow, though she figures it’s more likely that they’re still in their room.

She heads upstairs, and knocks on their door. There’s no response.

As carefully and quietly as she can, she turns the knob and opens the door. The first thing she notices is the plethora of clothes scattered across the floor between the bed and the closet. Her eyes follow the mess up to the bed, where Hermie lies, partially sitting up and staring at Cass with wide eyes—two eyes, the one that’s usually covered by the patch is a light shade of hazel with a bright green pupil. They look much like they did when Cass picked them up from the library, burn scars and horns and all. More pressingly, they look scared , not just startled but genuinely afraid. It hurts her heart a little.

“Hey, Hermie,” Cass says, deciding not to question why they’re in bed at 8:30 on a school day.

“Hello,” Hermie says, slowly sitting up fully.

Cass watches as their scars begin to shift in color, settling into a shade a bit closer to their regular skin tone. It’s not just the color that’s shifting, she realizes, it’s the skin itself, squirming uncertainly in a way that is not very pleasant to look at at all.

“Can we talk?” Cass asks, and Hermie’s face twitches before they manage to school their expression.

“Ah, yes, that’s—“ Hermie’s voice comes out frail. They clear their throat. “Yes, ma’am.”

Cass grimaces. Hermie’s eyes drop to the floor the moment the expression crosses her face.

“You really don’t have to call me that,” Cass assures. “You can just call me Cassandra. I’d prefer it over Ms. Swift, actually.”

They nod, still not looking at her.

“Where do you wanna talk?” Cass asks, as gently as she can.

Hermie’s jaw tightens, before they shrug stiffly. Cass holds back a sigh. The last thing she needs is the kid thinking she’s upset with them. They probably already do, actually.

“How about the living area between our rooms, does that sound good?”

Hermie nods, mumbling something quietly.

“What was that?”

Hermie winces, as if they didn’t expect to be heard.

“I just—I said that it—it’s not really my room, is it?” Their voice lowers as they talk, so much that Cass can barely hear the end of it. She does hear it though, and it hurts a bit even though she knows it isn’t her fault anymore than it is Taylor’s.

“That’s kinda what I wanted to talk about, actually…”

Hermie’s eyes dart up to meet hers, and all of the sudden they seem to be on the brink of tears. For a moment Cass is so taken off guard by the sheer amount of unguarded devastation in their expression that she doesn’t know what to say. She reaches for an explanation, and finds it fairly easily.

“Oh, Hermie, honey—“ she steps into their room, and they shrink back a little, squeezing their eyes shut as if bracing against a blow. Cass freezes, arms halfway extended before she crosses them over her chest. “Honey, no, I just meant that—it is your room. That’s what I meant. It's yours for as long as you want it.”

“But I don’t…” Hermie trails off. Cass waits for them to find their words, but after a few moments they close their mouth and shake their head helplessly.

“Listen, let’s talk out in the living area, okay? Take your time, I’ll be waiting.”

Cass steps back out of the room and closes the door behind her, letting out a breath. This is going to be harder than she thought. She doubts one conversation is actually going to change their mind at all, but it’s a start. Cass walks over to the chair by the window, sits down, and waits.

It doesn’t take Hermie long to peek out of their room and cautiously stalk over to Cass. Their scars and horns are gone, and the eyepatch is back in place. They changed their clothes too, into something a bit more… formal than the sweatpants and anime shirt they seem to wear most of the time.

“You can sit down if you’d like,” Cass offers, gesturing at the other chair.

Hermie slinks over to sit down, eye never leaving Cass. They carry themself like a skittish cat, ready to dart or bite back at any moment. Maybe that’s why Taylor likes them so much, Cass muses, before shaking her head and reminding herself to focus.

“Taylor told me a bit about your conversation last night,” Cass says, and Hermie dips their head, embarrassed. “I’m not going to pretend to know you very well, but I know that you’re having a hard time believing that we want you here.”

Hermie nods slightly.

“If Taylor didn’t manage to change your mind last night, I don’t think I’m going to just by telling you, but we do want you around,” Cass says.

“But I… I don’t know why,” Hermie admits, quietly as if willing Cass to ignore them. “I haven’t… haven’t made myself useful, even though I said I would.”

“You don’t need to be useful,” Cass assures gently. “You don’t have to- You’re allowed to just exist. That’s enough.”

Hermie glances up to squint at her suspiciously, but when they don’t see any tell that she’s lying, they look more confused than relieved.

“Besides,” Cass starts, changing her tactic. “You have been useful. You keep Taylor company and watch out for him, and I know he needs it after everything you’ve both been through. You cook sometimes and do the laundry, and even though you don’t need to, I do appreciate the help.”

Hermie nods, visibly relaxing just a bit. While she doesn’t want to encourage their belief that they need to justify their existence, it seems to help more than any amount of comforting words did.

“I promise, we aren’t going to force you to leave. If you decide you want to for any reason, I’ll support you, but you have a place here,” Cass says softly. She doesn’t want to overstep, both for Hermie and Taylor’s sake, but… “you’re part of this family, ok?”

Hermie looks up, mouth falling open in shock. The surprise on their face is almost comedic, before it tightens into something confused, then frightened.

“No—wait, no, I’m not— Taylor said— I promised I wouldn’t—“ Hermie stands up, stepping away. The left side of their face begins to fade back into the angry red of their scars. “I’m not— you’re not my mom!”

“I’m not saying I am!” Cass says, pushing aside the hurt at the vehemence in their voice. She stands up too, hands held up placating but unsure of what to do. She’s not entirely sure why Hermie is reacting this way, but the mention of Taylor gives her an idea. “You’re not replacing Taylor as my kid, ok?”

Hermie flinches at the words, and she knows she hit the mark.

“That’s not all that family is, I don’t have to be your mom and you don’t have to be my kid if you’re not comfortable with it, ok? I’m just saying that you’re important to me. To us.”

“I don’t…” Hermie looks up, wrapping their own arms around themself in a lonely mockery of a hug. Their eye is wide and confused, more openly vulnerable than Cass has ever seen from them. “I don’t understand…”

“I know you don’t, honey,” Cass says, itching to hug them now more than ever. “That’s okay. We’ll work on it. You belong here, and you have nothing to hide, ok?”

Hermie tilts their head at the emphasis she puts on the last few words. She taps her own forehead at the same place a horn is forcing its way out of theirs. They startle, throwing one hand up over their forehead to cover it.

“Sorry—“ Hermie stutters, ducking back.

“No, that’s exactly what I mean,” Cass says, trying to keep her tone from sounding frustrated. “Taylor has horns and a tail too, you know, it doesn’t change anything.”

“But I’m not-“ I’m not your son. You aren’t obligated to put up with me.

Even if they don’t say the words, she can guess their meaning.

“It doesn’t change anything,” Cass emphasizes, “not with him, and not with you.”

Hermie nods, slowly lowering their hand. Their horn is larger than Taylor’s, the same color as their eye and curving backwards. Cass glances at it, before returning her attention to Hermie’s face to give them a reassuring smile. Their scars are still hidden, but Cass decides not to press it for now.

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

Hermie nods, the guarded look gradually returning to their eyes.

“What pronouns do you use?” Cass asks as casually as she can manage, because it’s not a big deal and she needs Hermie to understand that. Hermie looks startled by the question regardless.

“Ah- um. Any are fine,” Hermie admits. “They/them right now, though…?”

Their voice lilts up at the end, as if it’s a question. Cass tries to reassure them with a smile.

“You’ll let us know if that changes, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Hermie agrees, nodding their head. They look completely baffled, but a bit less actively anxious.

“I’m not gonna interrogate you about it, as long as I know how to refer to you, the rest of it’s none of my business,” Cass assures, and their shoulders relax a bit. “That’s everything I wanted to talk to you about, I think, so if you have anything you want to talk about…?”

Hermie shakes their head quickly, looking all too excited to end the conversation.

“Alright,” Cass agrees. “I think I’ll run to the grocery store, if there’s anything you need me to pick up for you?”

Hermie shakes their head as expected, but when they turn to retreat to their room, Cass spots a coiled green tail tucked around their leg.

It’s a start.

#dndads #fic #the mortifying ordeal of being roommates #taylor swift dndads #cassandra swift #hermie unworthy #dndads fic #dndads au #silver wrote most of this #lol

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thecorvidforest · 1 year

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Hi!! I saw that ur punk and I had questions if that’s okay!!! Im p sure I heavily align w punk ideology (and have already been cpunk for a while) (I strongly don’t want to conform to society and love all “weirdos”, fuck cops capitalism etc etc,,,) but I don’t listen to punk music or dress punk at all. I know u don’t have to dress any certain way (feel like ppl r gonna call me fake though) but people say u need to listen to punk music and I’m going to try !! but I’m very new and haven’t started yet.. when exactly is it okay to call myself punk? and umm while I do align with ideology I actually am very uneducated on anarchy and maybe similar concepts that I’m very interested in learning about but have no idea where.. can u give me any info on what being punk is really about and where to learn more? some people say there are “posers”’ but what exactly would make someone a poser?

hello! not a problem, i'm happy to tell you what i can :) (also ayy, fellow cpunk)

i would say that you can call yourself a punk when you're educated on the politics and ideology and can say for certain what parts you align with. being punk isn't about the aesthetic, it's about the ideology, so making sure you understand said ideology is the most important step.

that said, while punk ideology is generally left-leaning and anti-establishment, it's a massive umbrella that covers tons of different political beliefs. i personally am an anarchopunk, which is very left-leaning and centered around community instead of authority, but is directly against the beliefs of other subgroups like neo-nazi skinheads or national front which have both co-opted a lot of punk culture for its anti-establishment beliefs. there is no single set of punk beliefs, so it's important to do your research before adopting the label.

some places i would look to in order to learn more: classic punk literature (https://www.popmatters.com/punk-literature-101-recommended-readings is a great list of some places to start), and punk arts such as poetry, music, and zines, and punk history. dcdig.dclibrary.org has some fantastic collections that cover some of the history and politics that have influenced punk culture (i would very much recommend their DC Punk Archive Zine Library). in particular i'd look at the queer and BIPOC historical influences on punk culture, because those tend to get left out and knowing about that history is very important.

as for what makes someone a poser: posers in the punk community are typically people who embrace punk aesthetics but are uneducated on punk politics. they want the social recognition of the label but have nothing to contribute when it comes to their ideology. they tend to flock to places like tiktok where they can get that social recognition without having to talk about their beliefs. they also tend to gatekeep the punk community a lot. posers are not punk.

some red flags that a person might be a poser: they gatekeep the punk community, they don't talk about their beliefs and/or get irritated when people ask them about their beliefs, their punk fits are bought from amazon or other large corporations instead of being handmade or from small/punk owned businesses (it's pretty hard to tell from just looking though), they shame people for not listening to specific music or not "looking punk enough", they happily promote unnecessary violence because it's "edgy", they hate on everyone who doesn't agree with them, etcetera.

and in regard to your follow-up question about whether one can be emo/goth/nerd etc and punk at the same time, you absolutely can! these subcultures tend to overlap pretty often, and there's really no actual rules about what makes or breaks a punk identity other than being educated and honest about the labels you use.

i hope this helps, and good luck! :))

#punk #anarchopunk #anarchism #punk culture #cpunk #disability #education #community #punk community #acab

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tinymoondrops · 1 year

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Cozy Night (Silver/Blaze)

This is the first of many Valentine’s Day themed oneshots centered around my favorite Sonic ships. I hope you enjoy! Apologys in advance for spelling/grammer errors

The ivory hedgehog walked down the path with a spring in his step despite the chilly February air. Silver was more excited and happy than usual when visiting Mobius in the time period in which his friends lived.

First off, there was no impending doom he needed to warn Sonic and co. about, Second, he was meeting someone very special for coffee, Third, it was Valentine's day! He sniffed the roses he’d bought as he skipped down the path to Blaze’s and his favorite little cafe. It was a charming and quaint little coffee shop that Blaze and he visited whenever they got the chance to meet up. Today was extra special, however.

It would be their first Valentine's day as a couple! They’d started dating only five months ago and it’d been the best five months of his life. Thanks to Tails they’d been able to communicate despite being in different dimensions and different time periods. It had been rocky but they swore they’d make it work if they ever decided to make things more serious.

For now, though they were taking things one date at a time. Silver beamed as the bell jingled over his head announcing his entrance. He quickly looked around and spotted Blaze staring out a window, a small smile on her face apparently lost in thought.

“Blaze!” he rushes up to her excitedly.

“Silver!” she smiles her eyes lighting up as she turns to look at him. Standing up she hugs him.

“I've missed you.” Silver smiles holding her close.

“I’ve missed you too!” she smiles up at him kissing his cheek gently.

“Hey I got you something!” he hands her the flowers he got her.

“Aww Silv these are lovely! Thank you!” she smiles smelling the lovely roses.

“Of course! Anything for you.” Silver kisses her nose. “I’m going to order something. I’m starving!”

Blaze giggles softly before sitting down nursing her hot chocolate, taking dainty sips. Silver kisses her forehead before heading up to the front counter and ordering himself some tea and a sandwich. After a moment he heads back with his food.

“Here we can share this!” he smiles handing Blaze one half of his sandwich.

“Oh thank you Silver.” she smiles softly at him taking her half and nibbling on it. “I’ve been super busy. I haven’t had a chance to eat!”

“What? How have you not eaten!” Silver exclaimed.

“I’ve been busy. I’ve had a lot of paperwork I needed to fill out today. I don’t want to bore you with details. Gardon tried to get me to eat but I was way too focused.” she laughs. “He was very happy when he realized I was coming to see you.”

Silver chuckles. “I’m glad I’m on his good side. I’m also glad he takes care of you when I can’t.” he takes Blaze’s hand giving it a squeeze.

“Well he tries to.” she laughs smiling at Silver. “But the effort is still appreciated, and there have been many times he’s gotten me to rest or to eat when I’ve needed it.”

“You work too hard hun.” Silver sighs.

“I need to Silv. I’m a princess. Protector of the sol emeralds.” she smiles softly at him.

“Yeah, I know. I just wish you’d take breaks more often. It’s not good to overwork yourself! Just ask Rouge! She sometimes needs to pull Shadow away from work for a nap. He gets really snappy otherwise.” he laughs.

“Maybe your right.” she bites her lip in thought. “It would do me good to just sit in the palace library and read. Or take a nice warm bath when I’m feeling too tense.”

“Those are definitely some good first steps!” Silver beams. “I just want you to take care of yourself. I really care about you Blaze.”

“I know hun.” she smiles. “It’s sweet and I appreciate your concern. I promise I will try not to work so hard.”

“Thank you!” Silver smiles. “How about I take you to a spa after this?” he suggests.

“Oh that sounds lovely Silv! Are you sure you would enjoy it as much as I would though?” she asks.

Silver nods. “I think I would. It’ll be nice to relax and enjoy being pampered. Plus I don’t really mind as long as you’re happy.” he smiles.

“You are such a sweetheart Silver.” she smiles booping his nose. “A spa trip sounds wonderful!”

“Ok! Afterwards we can go to a Chao garden and just spend time with some of the Chao.” Silver suggests.

Blaze nods taking a sip of her coca. “That sounds perfect. You really seem to have this all planned out.” she giggles.

“Well the Chao garden part yeah.” he laughs. “The spa was obviously more spur of the moment.” he waves his hand.

The couple continues to chat in the cafe for a bit longer until they’re thoroughly warmed up and have finished their drinks and food. Silver stands up and takes Blaze’s hand leading her out through the door and into the sunlight. As the duo walks to the nearby spa they fail to notice the dark clouds in the distance or the nip in the air that always indicates rain. They make it to the spa without any issues and enjoy a very relaxing afternoon being pampered to their hearts' content.

“That really was amazing!” Blaze smiles as she buttons up her winter coat.

“I know right? I definitely feel relaxed.” Silver smiles wrapping up in his scarf.

The two laugh as they walk out of the building only to end up being caught in the rain. Blaze lets out a yelp of surprise. Silver quickly pulls her under the awning of the spa.

“Oh lord! I didn’t expect it to rain.” he frowns. “This messes with my plan.” he looks at how hard it’s raining. “I don’t think we’ll be able to go home either.”

Blaze sighs. “It’s alright Silver I really don’t mind as long as I get to spend time with you.” she smiles. “We should get out of the pouring rain at least.”

Silver bites his lip frowning as he thinks. “Maybe we could get a room at a hotel.” he suggests.

Blaze nods. “Yes, that sounds like a good idea. We should get a cab first. I don’t think there are any hotels in the nearby vicinity.”

“Yeah I doubt that.” he sighs pulling out his phone. “I’ll call a taxi.” he dials a cab company and the two wait, Sliver’s arm wrapped around Blaze’s shoulder.

Once the cab gets there the two shuffle into it Sliver uses his powers to keep the rain off of her. The two cuddle in the back trying to stay warm until they arrive at a hotel. They thank the driver before leaving and going to rent a room.

“I am so glad to be out of that rain!” Silver laughs.

“Indeed. It made everything ten times colder.” Blaze chuckles.

Silver laughs and walks over to the stove in the room and starts the kettle.

“They should have some hot chocolate packets in here.” he rummages around the cupboards. “I know we just had hot drinks but I think we need it more now.”

“Yes your probably right.” Blaze nods sitting on the bed and looking out the window. Her tail sways slowly back and forth as she watches the rain. It’s very relaxing, almost having a hypnotic effect on the royal cat. Silver chuckles when he glances over at Blaze as he waits for the water to boil. She’s so cute. Using his powers he wraps one of the hotel’s blankets around her shoulders. She glances over at him giving him a smile. No words are needed. She turns back to the window letting out a content hum.

After a bit Silver joins her handing her the hot chocolate as he wraps the blanket around both their shoulders draping his free arm around her waist. The two stay like that for a while. Cuddled together watching the rain as they warm up.

“This is really nice.” Blaze purrs her tail still swaying as she nuzzles into the crook of Silver’s neck her head now resting on his shoulder their cups of cocoa now forgotten and sitting on the bedside table.

“Yeah it really is.” he smiles rubbing her arm.

“I’ve never been more at peace or relaxed. Thank you for this Silver. I know things didn’t go exactly how we planned them but this has been an amazing Valentine's day.” she kisses his cheek.

“I’m glad you're having a good day.” he smiles kissing her forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“Silver…” she smiles pure adoration in her eyes. “ I didn’t think I’d ever get this lucky when it comes to love.”

“Me neither.” Silver sighs contently. “I love you Blaze.”

“I love you too Silver.” Blaze beams kissing his nose.

The two lovebirds spent the rest of their evening cuddled up together listening to the rain before deciding to get sleep, Blaze snuggled into Silver’s arms as the two drifted off into dreamland. It truly was a perfect Valentine’s day.

#silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #silvaze #sonic ship #fluff #oneshot #valentine's day #sonic the hedgehog

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gamerswift13 · 1 year

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Fallout 4!

Kia ora, friendos!

So I finally finished the main storyline in Persona 3 Portable a few weeks ago, and I just wasn’t quite in the mood to jump right into Persona 4 Golden just yet, so I’ve been kinda just bouncing around between a few different games and trying to find something that would stick while I work up the energy to get into P4G. I’ve played a bunch of stuff, but nothing really clicked… until…

Age of Empires 2: Definitive Edition has been out for a while on PC, but it recently (finally) made it’s way to console and of course, because it’s a Xbox Game Studios game, it arrived day-one on Game Pass. I adored this game when I was a kid, and, don’t tell the cops this but, it was the very first game I ever pirated. I still remember the disc, it was so cool. It was this beautiful gold colour (the images below don’t really do it justice) and it felt really neat to have a game I liked so much on this rad gold CD.

So far I haven’t played a ton of the new remastered version, but I’ve played a few skirmish matches against the AI and it’s still a lot of fun - some of the best matches happen when you make the map as big as it can possibly be, set the population limit to maximum (500 vs the 200 in the original!) and then go off to build your empire, and next thing you know three hours have passed. I haven’t dared to venture into the online multiplayer matchmaking stuff yet, but I was looking at it the other day and I saw that you can play co-op with another human against the AI, and I thought that sounded really cool so I will probably give that a go sometime soon.

So that’s been one of my timesinks lately. Another is Cities: Skylines Remastered! This also recently came to Xbox Game Pass, supercedeing the Xbox One Edition version, which you can still play, but this one just looks and runs a bit better on the Series X|S consoles and on Cloud Gaming. And no, it does not include all of the DLC like the name kind of implies - that stuff is all still locked away in the Xbox Store. I don’t know for sure, but I would bet that it’s the same deal on PC, too.

If you’re into simulation games, I probably don’t need to tell you about this one - it’s basically the answer to the question ‘What if SimCity, but good?’ Cities has taken over that whole genre for me nowadays, I don’t know if I’ve even thought about SimCity at all until writing this and thinking about how to describe Cities. But I digress. This game is great, and it is one of the biggest timesinks out there for me personally, with its never-ending gameplay loop of expand, add infrastructure and zoning, make the people happy (or don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️), rinse, repeat. I can spend many hours in a row playing this game without noticing, pretty much the very definition of a timesink. This past week I turned on a bunch of “cheats” so I could just mess around and not have to worry about money (I do that enough in real-life lol) or space and build whatever I felt like, whenever I felt like. But that’s enough about that.

Now for the big one: about a week and a half ago, I was going through my (ridiculously large) library of digital Xbox games, looking ostensibly for something I had not played yet, but when my eyes tracked across the screen and spotted Fallout 4 my brain said “We haven’t played that (in several years)!” and so I said “Fine.” And the rest was history. I’ve since completed the main story route with the Brotherhood of Steel, blew up the Institute, built a number of small settlements, and killed a lot of raiders, robots, and feral ghouls. At the time of writing, it is currently 3:30am because I stayed up all night playing this game. My cat is now very mad at me and wants me to go to bed.

Fallout is great. But this one is my favourite, because of all the endless opportunities to scavenge in the Commonwealth for resources, and then go back to your bases to use said resources to build buildings or craft weapons, gear, or ammo. I can spend hours not even doing quests at all, just collecting garbage and turning it into something useful and cool. Plus there are so many great little easter eggs you can find around the world, which is why I decided to include two screenshots instead of just one.

If you’ve never played a Fallout game, I think this is probably the best one to start with. A lot of people will argue with me and say that Fallout New Vegas is the better game, but those people are wrong. It’s at its core an immersive sim. Think things like Deus Ex Mankind Divided, or the more classic examples from Arkane; Dishonored and Prey. Except this one is set in a post-apocalypse some 277 years in the future. I really can’t recommend this series enough, and if all you have available to you is 3 or New Vegas, those are still really great entries in this IP.

Okay folks, that’s gonna do it for this week. Thanks, as always, for reading. Y’all are the reason I keep doing this. Stay safe out there, and I’ll talk to you soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

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kristenbouchard · 2 years

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hi syd!! i'm starting mcgill law next year (i deferred so that i could move & get used to the city - if you have any recommendations for places to go for coffee in verdun/pointe saint charles or downtown, i would love to hear them!) and i have a few questions about studying & time management, if that's okay?? the thing i'm most worried about is balancing the workload & keeping a job at the same time. how manageable did you find it? was it heavy straightaway from the first term onwards? i know this probably sounds like a super weird question, but what did an average day look like for you? because one of my friends who did medicine at mcgill used to get up at 5am to memorize her textbook while on an elliptical, & i'm wondering if i'm going to have to start doing that!! i also love walking to get around mtl right now, did you find it was feasible to take the time to walk or go to the gym every day, or did you need to keep your nose to the grindstone most days? should i get into the habit of reading 500 pages a day?? i hope it's okay to ask, i'm just nervous!! and if any of this makes you uncomfortable, dw, you can def ignore me!! thank you for your time, either way :)

hi, wow, how exciting!! i’m glad to hear you’re enjoying mtl, i have been missing it so much. i wish i could be of more help but i didn’t go to mcgill nor law school, so i’m not the best person to ask for those specifics. you’ll find your own routine and workflow that best suits you and the classes you’re taking. i did my undergrad in five years instead of four which made it much easier for me to balance working at the same time — i don’t know if spreading out your credits is an option with their law program, but that’s maybe something to think about? a full course load, a job, and being very involved with an extracurricular did end up being too much for me and my pitiful mental health in my second year, which is why i did an extra year, and that was the best decision i could’ve made. but lots of people manage it! so the very helpful answer is: it depends.

an average day for me at my busiest would probably look like getting up early ish before class to do readings or finish a paper, taking the metro to campus, going for a walk between classes, doing more work between/after class at the library or a cafe, then going to a work shift or extracurriculars in the evening — not unusual to spend 12 hour days on campus being consistently busy. i did prioritize time for walking because i learned very quickly that it was necessary for me, which sometimes meant i would get home and be studying an hour later than i wanted to, but that was my choice!

cafes!!!! in verdun, my beloved: station w, pavillon, sweet lee’s, lili & oli, not sure if there’s still one in la librarie but that was good, and i miss the boys at balance torréfacteur and their coffee every day (would highly recommend buying beans from them too). just on the other side of the aqueduct is yo & co which was also my second home for a year when i lived around the corner. i don’t know pointe st charles as well but florence is good! slightly adjacent is september surf which is excellent. downtown(ish): cafe myriad, faro, shaughnessy cafe, cafe aunja, melk, humble lion, many i’m forgetting. if you haven’t been to crew collective already it’s a must. hope that helps!!

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bluebell-wlw · 2 years

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Thoughts on Show runners

I just thought it would be interesting to point out that the show runners do not write every single episode.

Show runners are head writers/executive producers. They will write several episodes along with coming up with series arcs or plans. Other writers will write episodes and the show runner will have to make sure it fits in with the rest and the overall story.

Personally, one reason I am excited for the return of RTD2, is because of how well he managed overall story arcs, weaving things into every episode, and how most episodes written by guest writers were really well done. I mean, we first saw our previous two show runners contributing under RTD, that is a big reason why they were trusted with the job.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that bringing back RTD shows a lot of distrust in the writers, and that is true, but can you think of a guest writer from Chibnall’s era that has stood out? (Other than Maxine Alperton but I’ll come back to her.) Chibnall as show runner and these guest writers are not simply bad. They’re just not good doctor who writers. Most episodes this era have felt clunky, with bad dialogue, often poor use of companions, and poor use of many villains as well. They haven’t been picked to be the next show runner because a lot of people have not especially liked their episodes.

Compare to Moffat who, when writing for the Davies era, contributed some incredible and memorable stories like The Empty Child or Silence in the Library. There is a reason he could easily be trusted to be a show runner- he made some damn good stories.

Now, I know there are a lot of major fans of this era which is totally great, but I and most other who-fans I personally know have not loved this era, and the consistent criticism by all is just that the writing does not feel like doctor who for all the reasons listed above.

Which brings me to Maxine Alderton. The majority of episodes of the chibnall era that I have loved have either been written or co-written by her. She gets the doctor who feel and clearly can make some good stories. But she has only written two (as far as I can remember anyway, feel free to correct me).

The BBC logistically needs to bring out their big guns in the form of RTD to bring back viewers, this is why he is back as show runner. I am so excited to see what stories and series he brings. But he will of course have guest writers, just like there are every season, so let’s hope he brings back Maxine Alderton so she can write some more episodes and maybe even be show runner one day.

TLDR: Russel is a great show runner and will bring more viewers, that is why he is back. If they had found a writer who was good and experienced enough at writing for DW then they would pick them for next show runner, and so far they don’t have that. Closest is Maxine Alderton so let’s all cross our fingers for more episodes from her in 2024 so she gains more experience and perhaps gets the show running job in the future.

(Also before people come at me for certain things let me clarify: No I don’t hate that the doctor is a woman, I just didn’t like the writing. No I don’t hate Sasha as the master, just thought the storylines he was in were not well written. No I don’t hate Yaz as a character, I just thought she and the other companions were given very little development or things to do especially in series 11 and 12. It was nice to see Yaz have more personality and agency in series 13 and the specials but that came far too late in my opinion. Also no, I don’t think RTD is the perfect god writer or something, I just liked his era a lot better.)

#doctor who #Chris chibnall #Steven Moffat #maxine alderton #russell t davies

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t1oui · 2 months

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yet another next gen oc intro post. today’s subject: dominique’s friend group

so i found my original next gen character list with a bunch of ocs, most of which i don’t use anymore, while working on another post. while working on that post i realized i haven’t made any friends for dominique and she has no cousins in her year (with my hc ages) so i repurposed some ocs as her friends and here they are

btw when james sirius is 17 (this is what i’m basing age off of) dom js 16 and a 6th year, and so are all her friends

winter marzocchi

he/they • ravenclaw • chaser • half-blood

winter is an only child and a verrry quiet person. he’s an irish half-blood and has been flying since he was little, which made him fast friends with dom, an avid flier herself

he loves spending time in the library reading with his friends. when at home, he likes pottery and spends most of his summer break in his pottery studio.

devyn percival flint

he/him • ravenclaw • chaser • half-blood

devyn, like his father marcus flint, absolutely lives and breathes quidditch. if y’all have seen some of my past posts you know i ship marcus x penelope clearwater and devyn is the oldest of their two kids. (penny hates quidditch, but devyn followed her into ravenclaw, so she tolerates his rambling.)

devyn has a younger brother, cedric (named after cedric diggory, ofc), who’s a second year slytherin. devyn and cedric are two of percy weasley and oliver wood’s godkids.

devyn plays chaser for ravenclaw’s team and becomes captain after the current captain, aisley, graduates. he’s dating dylan and has been since 3rd year.

dylan merchant

he/him • ravenclaw • prefect • muggleborn

dylan is mr. unathletic goody two-shoes, but he loves watching quidditch more than almost anything.

dylan is technically muggleborn because neither of his parents are magical, but his mum is a squib and he grew up in her magical pureblood family.

dylan and dom were actually friends first. they met in the library and dylan dragged devyn and his naturally very extroverted personality into the group after that. winter was simply one of their dorm mates and another nerd who bonded with dylan over some history thing probably, and the rest is history.

• • •

if y’all want more oc posts i’d love to do them :) i think the ocs i have yet to introduce are:

zayne (hufflepuff quidditch captain / head boy)

aisley (ravenclaw quidditch captain)

cedric (devyn’s younger brother)

leilani (daughter that pansy & blaise co-parent)

expect their intros in the future, hope you all enjoyed this post

#hp fandom #harry potter fandom #hp #hp next gen #hp next gen headcanon #harry potter next generation #hp next gen ocs #dominique weasley

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purplesurveys · 1 year

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1693

Put your music library on shuffle (or just pick some random songs) and answer a few questions for each one. by chasingghosts

❀ Song One ❀

What's the song? Like Crazy, Jimin.

When did this song come out? Just this year.

Would you recommend this song to someone? Sure! I’d say it’s even one of the better recos for someone wanting to get into BTS or Jimin as it has an alternate English version, so you can listen to this if you want to understand the lyrics right off the bat. Composition-wise it’s right up my alley too as it has that 80s synth-pop sound that’s been big in pop music these days.

Do you know how to play this song on an instrument? (or would you like to learn?) I don’t play any instruments, so no.

❀ Song Two ❀

What's the song? Take Two, BTS.

Do you remember how you discovered this song? I didn’t discover it per se. It was announced and I waited for it to come out. Thing was, we were out having brunch in Bangkok when it dropped so I had to wait til we got in a Grab like, two hours later, before I could listen to it properly haha.

What genre would you classify this song as? Acoustic pop.

Have you ever been obsessed with or fixated on this song? I’m not particularly obsessed with it, but I listen to it when I’m sad or when I’m missing them. It’s one of those songs that I try to avoid listening to on repeat so that I don’t get sick of it easily.

❀ Song Three ❀

What's the song? Rover, Kai.

Could you dance to this song? I’ve never given this a proper listen actually and I’m not even sure how the song goes (I just set my Spotify to whatever algorithm it feels like playing tonight lol), so I couldn’t tell you right off the bat. I probably could though, cos it’s Kai?

Does this song remind you of anyone? Nobody but my EXO-L cousin that I unfriended months ago because of some unnecessary shade she posted about Jimin.

What’s the tempo of this song? I’m not sure, either.

❀ Song Four ❀

What's the song? Lilith, Halsey and Yoongi.

Have you ever seen this song performed live? I have not. Apparently Halsey’s already done this Diablo version *and* her original version live, but Yoongi hasn’t performed the Diablo version ever.

What is the name of the album this song is on? I’m not sure it has an album, actually. It’s just part of the Diablo IV soundtrack.

Does this song ever get stuck in your head? Occasionally.

❀ Song Five ❀

What's the song? Change pt.2, Namjoon.

Does this song have male or female vocals? Male.

Do you like the lyrics of this song? Yup, big fat yes here. For how short this song is, the lyrics get real and I love that a lot. You gotta admit it – don’t you get it still? Someday a great grief will do come for you, and you’ll know it too; you can’t love someone like I do, that’s all I can say to you.

Does this song remind you of any particular period of your life? It does, very strongly so, yes.

❀ Song Six ❀

What's the song? Haegeum, Yoongi.

Would you say this is one of your favourite songs? I mean it wouldn’t land in my Top 10 of BTS’ entire discography but I find the song great nonetheless. The music video drove me insane and I memorized the entire chorus so I can yell it back in entirety to Yoongi for the concert.

How many instruments are played in this song? Guitar, bass, drums, and the actual haegeum.

When did you first discover this song? Two months ago when it came out.

❀ Song Seven ❀

What's the song? Angel Pt. 1 with Jimin...and honestly, the list of artists in this song is too long I haven’t bothered to memorize the rest, lol.

Is this song a genre you would regularly listen to? Nope. The main rap style that’s like 80% of the song is actually pretty grating to me. I only stream it for Jimin’s part and the female artist who was in the song as well; she sounds amazing.

Has this song ever been in a popular chart like Billboard? Yes.

Is this song on any of your playlists? I don’t make playlists, but I’ve bookmarked a few playlists with this song in them.

❀ Song Eight ❀

What's the song? The Planet, BTS.

Do you like to sing along to this song? Yes. This is a great fun and upbeat song that always makes me a little happier when I listen to it, and I like it a lot that I’ll even mumble through the Korean parts hahaha.

What’s the emotion of this song? Upbeat, optimistic, cheerful.

Have you ever seen this artist perform live? Not as a whole, but I have watched Yoongi in concert.

❀ Song Nine ❀

What's the song? Equal Sign, Hobi.

Does this song have more than one singer? As far as I know it’s just Hobi in it, down to the backing vocals.

Do you know any other songs from the album this song is on? I know all the songs off of Jack in the Box.

Would you play this song at a party? It’s a bit too chill for a party! Maybe when the atmosphere kind of winds down towards the end? that’s the time I’d play it.

❀ Song Ten ❀

What's the song? Loser=Lover, TXT.

Is the artist who performs this song one of your favourites? I wouldn’t say they’re my favorites but I hold a soft spot for them. They’re BTS’ juniors and have so far been super unproblematic, so there’s nothing to dislike.

Do you know all the lyrics to this song? Nah, just the chorus.

Is there a music video for this song, and have you seen it? I actually haven’t checked but it should have one considering it’s a title track. Anyway, I looked it up on YouTube and yes they do have one for it haha. No, I haven’t seen it.

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multiplayingorg · 1 year

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Dear Most Trendy Gamer in the World

| Repost: Originally posted by Rer on December 6, 2011

How's it going big man? Its been quite some time since we last had a chat. You know it always amazes me how cutting edge you are given your age, you always seem to have the newest technology or the latest toy craze in stock.

It seems like the holiday chain letters have started back up too, tis the season to be blogging! So with that in mind, I too, would like to write you a quick little letter. I know over the past few years I haven’t asked much from you, what with having younger siblings who needed your Christmas cheer much more than myself, so maybe this year I can kind of pool all of that unspent good-will? Anyways here’s what I’d love to see from you Big Red.

1. To start, could you maybe help out the United States with some of our current woes? What with the economy not doing so hot, Congress at each other’s throats, and bills like SOPA on the horizon, I think its about time for a refresher on the ideals of empathy, understanding, and all around good nature towards one’s fellow man. Its a tough first pick I know, so just do your best. Now with that rather less than cheerful bit out of the way lets move onto some more game-centric wishes.

2. Can we please get some fresh blood into the AAA-MMO development cycle? Surely by now someone must have thought of something awesome, or at least revolutionary (and I mean actually revolutionary not just ‘oh we’re gonna change or add one big feature’), to try out in an MMO. Can you maybe swoosh by some CEO’s office and just leave him a note (after you’ve eaten his corporate milk and cookies) about how doing something risky and new might be a solid endeavor in 2012?

3. As an addendum to wish #2, it’d be really awesome if you could make a small sidetrip to CCP’s headquarters when you do your Reykjavik run. Just give all of developers, artists, programmers, Q&A folk, and other members of the CCP team a big thank you present on my behalf. If I had to guess what they might want most it’d probably be a break to spend some time with their families, and given all of the hard work they pounded into Crucible I’d say they’ve earned it. Its a good thing you make your rounds in December because if I was writing this in July I probably would have said to drop a giant mountain of coal on top of their office, but its cool, they’ve got their heads on straight and are finally back on the path of

4. This one’s a bit more personal. Do you think you could find a game that’s multiplayer, not time intensive, and is something both my sister and I would love to play? We don’t hang out as often as I’d like, but looking through my Steam library its hard for me to find a game we can both play and enjoy together in the span of say, 30 minutes. Not an MMO either, she’s low on funds, and I want to spend time with her. Not her and one million other people.

5. Mass Effect 3 is going to feature a fully fleshed out Co-Op campaign. Honestly, this more than anything else excites me for the game. Could we maybe see other popular titles consider adding Co-Op play to their games as well? I can only imagine how awesome it would be to have a friend helping me kill Templars in Assassins’ Creed, or having an actual buddy at my side in Skyrim instead of a lifeless NPC (Sorry Lydia but really you have no soul). Just make it an optional thing, that way no one feels left out if they dig running around worlds unseen on their own.

6. Oh, oh, oh, and could 2012 finally be the year that developers bridge the gap between consoles and PCs? That way no one feels remorse for buying a game on their PC only to be unable to hang out with friends who have it for the XBox 360 or PS3. That would be super ballin’ Santa, work that Christmas magic!

That’s all I got Papa Noel, keep warm and be merry this month. Hell maybe on the 26th you can take a break, sit down, and play some Skyrim, that game kicks ass!

#throwback thursday

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mistonki · 2 years

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X plane world traffic

The new graphics setup only has few controls, but I think with more controls I could get better frame rates while still having the details Id like to see.ĪMD GPUs have historically had really bad OpenGL support, so frame rates have been poor. I dont have to tell you what happens when fog rolls in, clouds or rain come up: Fps drop to 12 or worse.īefore buying the Radeon I had Intel onboard graphics (Intel(R) HD Graphics 4600) which had about the same frame rates. What if AI traffic would follow some real flight plans, picked from a library of flight plans The AI would be required to pick a flight plan that starts or ends at an airport nearby, and the flight plan has to match the plane being used and the weather (not to start or land with the wind).īut my main concern is: Its very hard to get a decent frame rate without having a (climate) killer GPU: With a Radeon RX 560 I only get about 26 fps with a clear sky. Usually they circle around, going up and down (not touch-and-go, just changing altitude). So some dust clouds, and finally it was airborn AI traffic isnt very sophisticated: When you watch an AI pilots flight, ATC sends resume own navigation as soon as the plae is somewhat away from the airport, and the AI pilot dont seem to have a plan where to go. Once Ive seen an autogen Kingair or a Baron (hard to say from the distance) that was up to take off, but it hit the end of the runway without doing so. Should I delete my preferences folder I played last night on 1.34 and was 55-60 FPS.Īt my community, Bora Simular (facebook group) lots of people report it. So they updated the Steam Beta to the release for those who dont want to wait.Ĭheck the Bug Fix and tell me if you see something realted to the contrail problem. Please try the updater again later or contact Laminar research tech support etc The technical problem was: no such file or directory. Youll most likely see her answering bug reports or making video tutorials. In order for the lines to merge when they cross. My lines, like the default lines, use two layers X-Plane) and I really would hate to lose it to WT3's ATC (which may be brilliant as far as I know - I haven't tried it).X-Plane World Traffic Impact On Fps By candpackvaspa1974 Follow | Public I also hope that others who use PF3 would also appreciate it working as fully as possible in XP11 and its addons, 'cos if I am about the only one here who has switched to XP11 (surely not!) then things don't look too good for me! PF3 is like an old friend in a new environment (i.e. If there is currently a way to fix this latter issue that I am unaware of, I'd be grateful to know what it is. For instance, WT3 and PF3 do not 'speak to each other', so that PF3 clears me onto occupied runways, or AI traffic from WT3 lands and takes off oblivious to the fact that my aircraft is on the runway. WT3 does have its own ATC element, but since I am very keen to stick with PF3 (the loss of FDC when I moved to XP was enough!) I am hoping that some things are being worked on. Well, I would like to ask what steps (I understand there are some?) are being taken to integrate PF3 with World Traffic 3 (AI traffic programme in X-Plane). With the installation of the (third-party) PFEtoXplane plugin, many things in PF3 work just as they did in FS9 (although updating the PF3 database for XP is still not possible via PF3). I am sure that Dave M must share my views on X-Plane (at least I hope he does, to some extent at least!) and be looking for ways to further allow PF3 to work with that programme. The one programme that I very much want to keep from MSFS though is PF3 - another developing bit of software. I have flown nothing else for almost a year now and feel I have hardly scratched the surface of its possibilities. I don't think I can be the only one who, although very grateful for the years of pleasure I got from FS9 (and to a far lesser extent, FSX!), has realised that even FSX is now old technology and that the ever-developing X-Plane (now v.11.21) brings levels of sophistication undreamed of in the Microsoft sim.

#X plane world traffic

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